#it’s just so weird so specific too and all kinds of complicated

[sunsetsover]

looking back at kantbison's relationship and specifically kant's relationship with submission throughout the show after episode 8 has really put a lot of things into perspective for me.

bc like. it's complicated. i'm not gonna pretend that it's not. there's too much there in kant's character to ever really be able to isolate one thing he says or does before like. episode 6 or so. and be able to say 'this was exactly what he meant, this was his sole feeling and/or his sole motivation here' bc everything's far too intertwined to ever pick apart properly.

that said though. i always felt there was a sense of reluctance in kant when it came to giving bison power over him and specifically the bdsm thing. and i could never quite figure out bc i didn't particularly get the impression that he disliked it either but there was just something that was off about it that i could never quite put my finger on, but i think i've finally figured it out. and it's really not that surprising, bc as this show's gone on it's become increasingly clear that with kant all roads lead to the same place, and that's the issue of choice - or lack of choice, in kant's case.

submission was never really the issue i don't think. kant knows how to submit, is good at submitting - at the end of the day, isn't that what he does with christ? submit to his will, follow his orders? isn't he collared and chained to him? isn't he such a well behaved dog for him? kant knows very well how to submit. but the thing is is that it's not a willing act of submission where christ is concerned. kant submits because, like with pretty much every other facet of his life, he has no other choice. he behaves because he has to.

and then the next thing kant knows there's bison, outright telling him that he'd like him to submit. to let bison take charge and have kant bend to his will, to follow his every whim. and bison wasn't pushy about it - if anything it was the opposite. he was reluctant, assuring kant that it was fine, that he didn't have to, that actually maybe it was better that they didn't. he gives kant the choice. but it's not a real choice. kant's answer is already laid out for him.

and i think that's where the dissonance entered. you see hints of annoyance and frustration before then, but the much more subtle 'off' feeling that i felt started around then. and i think it's bc for all intents and purposes kant was already completely submitting to bison's will. he was already going along w whatever bison wanted bc he had to, bc he needed bison to trust him, bc saying no to anything thrown his way wasn't (and had never been) an option.

but ofc bison didn't know that. he just wanted to dom his boy. but i think he could also feel the reluctance and the confusion around it all. bc despite what he said and did to reassure bison that he was into it and wanted it too, kant was always subconsciously resisting. and as i said i think there's a lot in that too, it's not simply one thing - bison is a murderer at the end of the day, and dom/sub dynamics are supposed to be built primarily on trust, and kant didn't trust bison not to hurt him too much or go too far. it was also clearly a new thing to him considering he didn't even know what a safeword was. and it was maybe even some weird sense of loyalty to christ. you know what they say: you can't serve two masters. and kant already had one. he was already collared and chained, already submitting. and kant's current master had an awful lot of power over him. he knew what kind of punishment awaited him if he disobeyed.

but above all else kant knew he couldn't really say no. and he hated that.

and so we're back to choice again. the one thing kant has never had. here he is getting forced into submission again - not by bison, but by circumstance. and so no matter what he says or does or how into it he really does seem, there's always this subtle reluctance that rolls off of him. there's always just something off about it all. (which, thinking about, may have been one of the reasons why so many people were turned off by kantbison, bc there was just something not quite right in the vibes, but i digress)

but obviously things change. kant accidentally falls in love with bison, despite his best intentions. and, maybe even more importantly, bison falls in love with kant. and that love changes bison - bison, who needed power so desperately when they first met that he turned nearly every interaction they had into a game of tug of war. bison who, despite not necessarily needing kant's submission, would also never ever give in to kant's will, not even a little. but that same bison falls for kant, and he begins to yield. starts to let himself just be, and by extension let kant just be too. bison begins to settle, become a little docile. he lays on kant's chest and kisses his feet. he rolls onto his back and lets kant loom big and dominating over him, despite how desperate he once was for power. and kant is clever, he knows that's what bison wanted. that's why he gave into him all the time. but by letting kant maintain some of the power in their relationship without a fight, he's basically telling kant i would like you to submit to me, but i don't need it. i just want you. and kant hears that. and that changes things. because without knowing it or even really meaning to, he's given kant a choice.

and we all know what kant chooses.

and to be clear, for the most part i think this is all happening on a subconscious level without either really realising it or thinking about what's happening. but the choice is conscious. it's his. and kant chooses the master that gives him the option to choose. that choice changes everything for kant. everything. it recalibrates his whole world view, his whole life. and the minute he chooses (chooses!) bison, he submits himself to him wholeheartedly. he puts the collar on himself.

but we don't get the reality of what that means until ep 8 bc of yknow. all the stabbing and kidnapping and manipulation and retraumatisation and scheming such. but then we do see it. and we see just how deep it goes for kant, that ease of submission, and his desire for it. how he doesn't run despite having many, many opportunities to do so. how he doesn't eat even when bison's nowhere to be found and he has freshly cooked food in his hands bc bison hasn't said he can. how he doesn't untie himself despite being able to bc bison tied him up for a reason. and sure, all of that is love too, and it's also playing nice bc he desperately wants bison's forgiveness. but this is all also an active form of submission, the same way a dog submits to their owner when they say sit, down, stay, wait. a good dog doesn't eat until it's given permission. and ultimately doesn't the fact that kant safewords tell us exactly what kind of state of mind he's in? what he thinks about their situation and their relationship? (and i won't go over it bc i've already talked about in length here but the act of safewording truly said so, so much)

and yknow, thinking about it really it shouldn't even be surprising bc we were literally shown who kant was back when they first met. and what did he do? went when bison said to go, came when bison said to come back. bison said you're not doing this alone and kant sat still and let bison ride him to his heart's content. it was very subtle, but he really was submitting to bison in little ways all the way back then! the signs were there!

and the beautiful thing about it to me is that in episode 8 there is not a single moment of dissonance between kant and bison. there's no more weird vibes. there's just kant and the first choice he's ever got to make. kant and his chosen master. kant and the hand at the end of his leash. kant and bison.

[lordendsavior]

.

[xtcenh]

Too good

Pairing: Step Brother!Park Sunghoon x Reader

Description: Maybe the both of you are perverts but still, that doesn’t stop either of you.

Warnings: SMUT, MDNI, dry humping, begging, biting(?, dubcon, vouyerism, masturbation, unprotected sex, spanking, idk what else ngl.

The relationship between you and Sunghoon it’s…weird, to say the least, both of you met when your dad decided to marry his mother and that was seven years ago, both of you being angsty teens that barely talked to each other.

Years went by and the relationship between the two of you grew for the better, both of you being an only child, you grew fond of his company and him of yours, always thinking of places to go together, meeting the other’s friends, getting along very well.

One day though something shifted, it was one of those days that both of you told your parents that you were going to a sleepover but went to a party, entering you guy’s twenties, both wanted to go out and make out with some hot people, get wasted, take pics with your friends but something happened that changed your whole dynamic.

You can see the room spinning, barely being able to stand straight, you were laughing by yourself at how drunk you were, your friend Karina next to you noticed this, holding your arm to stop you from falling.

“Shit, girl, you’re drunk as fuck!”

The look on her face only made you giggle, grabbing her cheeks and squishing them, she couldn't help but laugh at your state, taking the cup from your hand she muttered something about getting you some water so you have to wait for her in your seat.

Looking around your eyes set on a specific sight, your step-brother, you don’t know if it was the alcohol rushing through your veins but there were unacceptable thoughts about him in your mind, shaking your head as if that is going to make you stop thinking all kinds of stuff with him.

Your breath hitches when you take notice of the girl he is talking to, small, curvy, red head, she was beautiful, no way of denying that. There’s this uncomfortable feeling in your chest, hurting you, still you don’t know what it is.

Not knowing how much time has passed, you see them both walking out the room, you don’t even know what possessed you when your legs stand up, walking down their trail.

Still very much wasted, it’s a complicated task when you follow them, almost falling several times and almost losing them as well.

Your body freezes when you see hee lead the way into a room, far away from the other people, noticing how you are the only person besides them in this hallway, what you failed to notice is how Sunghoon did see you, when you were staring at him before they even came this way, how rapidly you stood up and followed them and how you are looking at him right now.

He doesn’t know but the feeling of you following him is more exciting than the girl that is pulling him inside the room, one last look at your face and he steps inside.

He doesn’t close the door, slightly leaving it ajar, what he does is immediately turns the girl so that her back is facing the door.

Sunghoon lets her start kissing his neck, sliding her hands down his abdomen, he doesn’t feel anything, all he wants is for you to peek your head through the door.

Not even thinking, you do just that, peeping enough of your head to see what was happening in there.

You don’t expect to see Sunghoon staring back at you, waiting. Once the eye contact locks, he grabs the back of the girl's neck and pulls her closer to him, kissing her. What the girl didn’t notice is that Sunghoon’s eyes never left yours.

The girl pushes him so he falls into the bed, sitting on the edge.

You can hear the wet sounds of their lips moving together, you can only imagine how his lips will feel against yours, wanting nothing more than going inside and moving her aside.

She goes back to kissing his neck, slowly going down and down, finally settling in between his legs, he is manspreading on the bed, barely looking at the girl in front of her.

Your eyes move down, noticing the hands of the girl, they’re moving, working to take his pants off, nervously your vision moves back to his face, noticing the smirk on his lips, at a slow pace he brings his fingers to his lips, motioning for you to keep silent.

Right hand falls on top of your mouth, so as to prevent any sound.

Both of you are ignorant on how the girl has already taken off his pants and is already taking his hardening length out, a low groan coming out of Sunghoon’s throat is what brings you back to the scene playing in front of you.

Sunghoon’s eyes close briefly when she takes him down her throat, stroking with her hands what couldn’t fit on her mouth. He can’t deny that it feels good but it feels ten times better when he notices that your thighs are squeezing each other, showing that you are in fact, getting turned on by what is happening in front of you.

A quick glance at the one in between his legs and he just mutters something to her.

“Close your eyes.”

Without questioning, she does as she is told, Sunghoon is glad she listened, now he can turn his full attention to you, his little step-sister, rubbing her thighs together at the sight of him getting his dick sucked by some girl.

He choked a moan when you moved your free hand to grasp one of your breasts, squeezing it tightly, how he wished it were his hand in your chest. Everything just got harder for him when he picked out that your fingers are moving, twisting and pinching your nipple, throwing his head backwards, he pushed the girl farther down her throat without warning.

The choking sound makes your knees buckle, imagining it was you taking him down your mouth, his face comes back, eye contact continuing. Just when he thought he was in heaven at the sight of you, you dropped your hand, moving it under your skirt, placing it on top of your cunt.

Hips thrust into the girl’s mouth, your fingers circled your clitoris and you can feel your arousal through the fabric of your underwear, it grows when you hear Sunghoon’s moans and low groans.

It’s wrong, you both know it’s wrong, but you have never felt this hot for anyone before and you know he is also enjoying this, the way his hips stutter into the girls mouth while he looks at you like he wants to eat you, it has you throwing your morals out of the window.

Fingers going faster, you feel so close to cumming. He can’t tear his eyes off of you, loving the way you still have your mouth covered by your hand, how he can see your hand moving under the little skirt you have on, how your knees are almost giving up at how much pleasure you feel, he loves it, loves how you look.

He nods his head, as in asking you if you’re close, you nod rapidly, neck even hurting with how fast you do it, and you see it, he mouthed something for you, clearly seeing how his lips moved to tell you, ‘Cum for me’, not being able to contain it, you let go, cumming all over your fingers, eyes rolling backwards, grabbing into the wall next to you to not fall.

Chest breathing heavily, you look back at him, his forehead full with sweat, one hand on the back of the girl’s head and the other one behind his head, smirking widely at you.

“F-Fuck, cumming!”

And you swear it’s the hottest thing you have ever seen, one last thrust in her mouth, her coughing around him, and he is spilling out his seed on her mouth, eyes threatening to close but fighting it to keep contact with you, mouth making an ‘o’ with how intense his climax feels, one last groan and he lets the girl free.

You see her move, standing up to crawl over to his lap and it suddenly hits you, you need to leave, not even waiting to see what happens, you hurriedly tidy up yourself and run towards the closest bathroom.

Closing the door behind you, you put your back against it, sliding down to fall on the ground. You did not only just touch yourself at the sight of your step-brother getting a blowjob but you did in fact enjoy it.

Two weeks have passed since the incident happened and you still can’t talk to him, even looking at him is hard for you, so you have just been ignoring him, ignoring him at home, at the campus, his texts, calls, everything.

It’s still too fresh in your memory, too fresh, that it gets you to soiled your panties when you remember. You think, if only watching him felt this good, what would it feel like if you can actually experience it, but no, you can’t, that is wrong.

Too caught in your own bubble, you fail to notice that he won’t give up, he is just waiting for the perfect opportunity to get you, to have his hands all over you and to not let go and the day is coming closer than expected.

It was one night that you decided to sleep over at your friends house, not being able to breathe comfortably in your own home, you were about to walk out of your room when someone steps in, pushing back in.

“Wha-”

A large hand covers your mouth, stopping you. Eyes widened when you recognize him, Sunghoon is the one stopping you from going out. He is mad, you know he is, the look on his face, eyebrows frowning, eyes giving you a harsh look.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

Taking off his hand but now moving down to your neck, circle around it but not pressing down, just holding you so you look at him and don’t try to run away anymore.

“I-I’m no-”

“I’m not stupid Y/N.”

“Hoon…”

“Why are you avoiding me?”

He asks once again like he doesn’t know, the reason is obvious but both of you know that you guys want more and he seems to be wanting to get it. You try to move away from him but his grip on your throat hardens, gasping in surprise.

“Answer me.”

“Hoon! I-It was wrong.”

“But you liked it.”

“S-Still, that shouldn’t have h-happened.”

It’s like he didn’t hear your answer, instead he pushed in to kiss you, lips against yours with need, struggling for air when he does. He kisses you with force, forcing his tongue inside your mouth, exploring the walls of it, sucking on your own tongue and then biting down on your lips.

Your hands try to push him away but his strength is much stronger than you, barely even moving him. He only stops to gather air, not pulling too far from you, he grabs both your wrists in one hand and brings the other one to squeeze you cheeks together.

“We both want this, don’t fight it.”

You know you want it, you also know it is wrong. Barely putting on a fight when he kisses you again, he notices this and drops his hand from your face down to your chest, groping your tit with force, back arching into his touch.

Without complications he moves your body so that you sit down on your desk, he places himself in between your legs, spreading them open.

“Sunghoon-”

“Shhh.”

Leaning closer, he locks his lips into your neck, biting it and kissing it, leaving marks and wet kisses all over it, you whine when you feel him making a hickey on it, knowing it’s a visible place and if someone notices it, you will have no explanation.

“Hoon!”

Frustration is clearly on his face, when he looks at you, waiting for you to talk, clearly annoyed that you interrupted him, you huffed in perplexion, not believing him, one more push at his chest and you say.

“T-That’s enough…”

“…No, it isn’t, I want you.”

Your eyes widen even more when you feel his hips rolling, in surprise you open your mouth because of the feeling, his hard on, grinding against your core. Blushing you bring your hands to push him once more but you fail, he grabs both your hands and brings them to his chest, trapping them.

His hips never stop, grinding harder against you. You choke when you feel his fingers thrust into your mouth, long and slim they hit past your tonsils, nonetheless you wrap your tongue around them, sucking on them subconsciously.

“F-Fuck…I thought you didn’t wanted this.”

Quickly you shake your head, not sure what exactly you are saying no to. He lets go of your body, hurriedly directing his hands towards his belt, taking it off. Your body shaking at his early ministrations, you only observe him, almost as if you’re waiting for his next step.

Once the belt is fully out, he returns his attention to you, admiring your spread body waiting for him, he moves you into your feet and in a flash he turns you around, grabbing your arms behind your back and tying the belt around both your wrists, your head flies back, panicking.

“W-Wait, no-”

One hand pushes your chest into the desk, bending over for him, not even being able to stop him and deep down, you don’t want to. He tugs your shorts down, revealing your soaked underwear, his hand kneads at the flesh of your butt prior to slapping the same skin, not expecting the smack you whine out but he only chuckles.

Doing it again and again until he hears your cries, telling him to stop, feeling a bit generous he soothes down your reddening skin, shushing you down.

“You don’t like it when I spank you? Hmm?”

“N-No…”

“You sure? Your wet panties say otherwise.”

In cue you feel his fingers tease the entrance of your hole through the panties, moving his fingers in circles, you try to take a hold of his hand but he only slaps them away, telling you in a low voice.

“You’re going to enjoy this, relax baby sis.”

Gagging your cries when he calls you that name, he pushes the fabric between your legs to the side, you can hear him hiss when he looks directly at your pussy, feeling shy you try to close your legs but a harsh spank on your thighs makes you cease your movements.

You feel him part for a second, you hear shuffles behind you and then something drops. With your current positions, it is hard to turn around but you catch a glimpse and you see that Sunghoon has taken off his jeans, leaving him only in boxers. You didn’t mean to stare yet your eyes move downwards, scared when you notice how big his bulge looks, not remembering clearly from that night how big it is.

He presses back on you, his hard dick directly pressed against your hole, both of you moaning at the feeling, his hips thrust in, making your body shift forward into the desk. Sunghoon doesn’t stop, he never does, humping and rubbing all over your core, each thrust you swear it feels harder and deeper than the last one, making a pool in between your legs and all over Sunghoon’s boxers, leaving a wet patch.

“Hoonie, p-please, this isn’t right!”

“It wasn’t right when you played with your pussy at the sight of your step bro getting sucked by someone else, right? But you didn’t stop.”

Hips still moving, sharp and forceful thrust being delivered by him. You feel extremely embarrassed, still you feel the arousal drop from the entrance of your hole, the burn that the fabric of his underwear gives you every time he grinds into you has you feeling undeniably good.

Your face feels hot, sweat dripping down your forehead, eyes watering, threatening to spill tears.

Sunghoon feels feral, hips grinding upwards into rubbing himself against your folds, he feels extremely sensitive, the harsh fabric of his boxers getting wet with your juices and his pre-cum, making a mess. His mouth falls open, letting out a groan, he had dreamed about this, about you, the sensation of your body pressed like this against him is better than everything that he had wished for, he feels in ecstasy.

He can already feel his climas coming closer and closer with each hip movement, he leans over to come closer to your nape, lips caressing your skin, you can feel his hot breath and the back of your neck, sending shudders over your skin, leaving a wet trail on your skin he reaches your ear and whispers.

“Y-You love this, don’t you? We both do, baby, let’s just enjoy it.”

He yanks you to meet your back with his chest, wrapping his forearm around your neck, keeping you in place. Sunghoon stops his thrust for a second to pull his length out of the last layer of clothes. A loud whine leaves your lips when you feel him directly, his tip pressed straight into your clitoris, his free hand proceeds to smear his semen all over it, making it all sticky.

Teasing you a bit more, just making you lose your mind you give up and just beg for him.

“P-Please…!”

“Hmm? What was that baby?”

“Please, just put it in…”

Turning your head around, the stretch of the muscles in your neck hurting but soon forgotten when he connects your lips to his, once more, distracting you from when he pushes his dick inside of you. Gasping into the kiss when he bottoms into you, tip caressing your cervix.

Barely even being able to correspond to his lips at his size.

“F-Fuck, you! So big!”

Sunghoon just chuckles, fucking into you harder, deeper, desperate for release. He knew you would feel this good, waiting for you for years, no other girl could even compare to your looks, and after finally getting a taste of you? He is never going to let you go. The girl at the party, he used her just so that you would finally cave, sending her off somewhere after you left the show, closing the door when she left so he could finally release himself, fucking his hand at the thought of how you looked while touching yourself to him, cumming hard wishing he was cumming deep into your pussy.

Now he can do it, fulfill his wish.

Every ram of his hips has you shoving into the desk, nails digging into your palms, wrists hurting from the restriction. Your head drops lowers, mouth instinctively biting into Sunghoon’s arm, preventing loud moans slipping your lips. The sinking of your teeth has Sunghoon hissing in pain, hips stuttering unexpectedly, dick twitching with pleasure.

“Next time, you’ll bite my neck sissy.”

Just whining into his skin, knowing that if you let go you will scream at how harsh his hips move into you, mind not processing how he said next time. His relentless pounding just gets more and more strong when he feels close to cum, fingertips teasing your swollen clit, forcing a loud noise out of you, biting deeper into him.

“If you want to cum, you have to ask me for permission baby.”

Your eyelids scrunch in frustration, the whole situation has you feeling embarrassed and needy, with how dumb he is fucking you, you really don’t longed care. Detaching your mouth, you turn to look at him, eyes looking up at him, he looks like a mess, sweat dripping down his skin, eyebrows frowing, his lips covered in bites from when he tries to drown out the noise.

“Please…can I?”

“C-Can you what?”

“Can I cum, please? Hoonie?”

Maybe both of you are crazy, being so into this, the nickname that you have always called him feels so dirty in this situation, just makes him twitch inside you, thrust erratic and going in no pace, just trying to get you both to cum, fingers faster, biting down your neck.

Your body trembles, your walls clench around him, head throws backwards directly falling into his shoulder. He lets go of your neck, mouth hanging open, breathing hard, one last ram into you, balls hitting your clit, and you both cum, his thick ropes spilling right into your womb and your juices dripping around him.

Sunghoon thrusts lazily, extending the delicious feeling of release for both of you. He stays inside, waiting for both of you to recover.

Wincing when he slips out, the white ropes dripping down your legs. He frees your arms, turning you around to sit down on him on your chair, he brings your wrist to his lips, kissing gently the red marks, so gently that it almost makes you forget what just happened.

Your eyelids are slowly closing, feeling tired and sore all over, the last thing you remember is him telling to sleep, that he would clean you all up before you doze off on his lap.

Once you wake up you would worry about the consequences.

[thrashkink-coven]

people who don’t understand neopronouns or therians are immediate red flags to me as people who probably don’t understand neurodivergency, polyamory, alt subcultures, or paganism either. Basically just anything that isn’t immediately simple and easy to define. People somehow seem blind to gray areas and nuances and I don’t understand why.

“Why not go by he or she? or even they? why does it have to be so complicated?!”

Because humans are complicated and this word fits xim better. Language has been evolving to be more specific for centuries, xer not doing anything different than he or she is.

“Why do they look like that if they don’t want me to stare at them?”

I guarantee your opinion was not the determining factor of their outfit choice today. Green is their happy color and spiky hair makes them feel cool. What other reason do they need? Everything isn’t about you.

“How do you identify as something nonhuman?! that makes no sense??!”

Probably because cats are the only creature they’ve known to not question their habits and force them to make eye contact. Maybe they relate more to animals than humans because you’re all so cruel.

“How can you be an it?! You’re not an object?!”

Maybe this person just generally doesn’t identify with being humanized in general. Who cares.

“This is all really weird they probably have some kind of mental disorder”

Okay? And? Maybe they do? What’s your point? What’s wrong with that? Why can’t they live peacefully with their disorder? Why can’t they be a person with DID? Why can’t they do age regression? Because it makes you uncomfortable? If these things are helping them cope and not causing harm, what’s the issue? That it’s too complicated to deal with? Maybe you don’t actually want to have a relationship with this person and should just leave them alone.

“I just don’t get all the freaky chanting and stuff. Seems like demons possessing you”

Oh yeah, you probably don’t “get” stimming either, do you? Moshing? Nope? Didn’t think so. Yeah wild idea but maybe howling and clapping actually feels good for some people. Maybe it even feels… really good.

“I just don’t get how you can be multiple things at once”

You probably don’t get how you can worship multiple Gods at once either, huh? Or even… be more than one person at once? Be more than one gender at once? Love more than one person at once? All of these concepts must fry your little brain don’t they?

“well sorry, I just don’t get it. It’s too much for me”

Although I don’t think it’s all that difficult, (hey buddy, are you maybe perhaps a little bit stupid?) you don’t actually have to “get” it to respect it, or at the very least respect people. Humanity is and always has been complicated. Get with the program dummy.

[meanbossart]

Oh boy, VaM is kind of a trial and error experience LOL I couldn't really show you how to use the interface and stuff without a whole video or something, but it's not THAT difficult to get a hang of if you just give yourself a day or two to play around, not to mention the number of tutorials you find out there. Luckily, if you only want to use it as a reference software that makes the process far easier (to this day I have no idea how to animate on that thing, since that's not what I use it for)

As for how I use it, it's pretty self explanatory - if there's a complicated pose I want to draw but I'm either having trouble with it, or just want to double-check angles/anatomy, I will use it as a resource! I use for most of my "proper" pieces (y'know, the nicer looking ones) and every once in a while for my silly comics if I'm having trouble with a pose.

Lets use this drawing for example (the character on top of DU drow belongs to @namespara )

I don't draw a lot of mud-wrestling (shocking, I know) but I had an idea of the kind of pose I wanted them to be in. So the very first thing I did was make a rough sketch of what I was envisioning:

I often do a rough sketch first, even If I know I'm going to be pulling the program up because A) It's less tedious than adjusting the models over and over again until I pick a pose and B) because sometimes I'll decide I don't need the reference, after all, and so that's 30 minutes I'll have spared myself of playing around on the software.

Now, this is a pretty complicated pose! It's in a weird angle and the bodies are making contact in ways I'm not used to depicting, so I did choose to whip out VaM for this one. I went into the program and after some messing around, I flopped my little dolls together like this:

Now something really cool about VaM is that you can completely customize your models, and if you have the patience, I would definitely encourage you to do so! Obviously, you don't have to make picture perfect replicas of every single character you have, but as you can see here I have made a DU drow "decoy" to help me better understand some of his features when I draw him: he has a strong brow, a short nose, a square jawline - these are all going to look a very specific way from certain angles, and I might not always be sure of how to draw it right! So it's useful to have models that bear SOME semblance to the character so you can better understand how different viewpoints will affect their bone structure and mass.

Also thank fucking god for the elf-ear slider. Figuring out how to draw those shits from certain angles was a huge pain in the ass when I started drawing DnD races.

So, with the reference in hand, I go over the sketch again:

Now you may notice that I don't stick to the reference 100%. There's three reasons for this:

posing on VaM is tedious as hell. You can get something incredibly natural looking and picture-perfect to reference from if you wish, but it's going to take you hours to do. So, for the most part I just slap guys together until the results are "close enough" and use that.

In my opinion, you should always aim to ENHANCE your reference material, not replicate it exactly!

While VaM is a PRETTY DANG GOOD source of anatomical reference, it isn't perfect, I often supplement it with further reference from real life resources or make tweaks based on my own knowledge where I catch it falling short (and, antithetical to what I just said, I sometimes fuck the anatomy up further on purpose if I think it looks better that way LOL it's all jazz baby).

Then lines, color, yada yada. I don't have a tutorial on that and I don't think I could make one, because my process is chaotic as hell, but I do at times use Virt-a-mate as loose reference for lighting too when coloring - waaaaayyyy less so however, because that process is even more tedious and I feel like I often get better results by just winging it. It is a feature of the program though, and I'm sure it would be helpful for someone who has a difficult time visualizing lights and shadows. I only started using this program a few months ago, so I happened to already have a pretty good understanding of that kind of thing and just don't personally feel like I get much out of that particular mechanic.

Here's a few other examples of pieces that I made reference for (WARNING: Suggestive)

Now, for the question many of you may want to ask:

"Can I trace this junk?"

And to that, I say: Buddy, you can do whatever the hell you want with the reference material you created.

However,

If your goal is to learn and improve your art, and to recreate realistic proportions and anatomy from memory, tracing won't help you.

Developing your own style, your muscle memory, and personal technique will all be hindered by choosing to trace instead of drawing from observation, so I would encourage against it. Hell - even when tracing is employed as a technique, it's usually by high-skill realism & concept artists who are looking to either cut some corners, save time, or just double-check their own proportions in order to improve further - if you try tracing as a beginner, you will most definitely find the result to still look stiff and "off".

So trust me, there is so much more to be gained from drawing from observation. Make note of tangents, compare proportions, use all the elements of the picture to dictate where and how things should go - it will be a far more rewarding experience.

Hopefully this has been helpful! VaM is a really cheap program (you get it on the guys' patreon for I think 8 dollars, just google it!) and it's definitely been worth my money as an artist since I found it. Learning to use it can be a little intimidating at first glance, but as I said above you only really need a day plus one or two tutorials to get a hang of the interface.

A fair warning though, IT IS A SOFTWARE MADE FOR VIRTUAL SEX/ADULT ANIMATION So when looking it up expect to see a some spicy content.

[pressureplus]

I need that for my comfort!🥺✨ Trans boy reader who started to have dysphoria because his hair a getting to long for his comfort. So he ask to Sebastian to help him cut them shorter, which Sebastian hesitantly agreed. Might not be the best since it’s was cut with some scissors and also because Sebastian never cut hair before. But reader is still happy with the result lol.

This is so cute

Hair and Care 101

Pairings: Sebastian Solace X TransMasc!Reader

Au: Classic

Warnings: Mentions of Gender Dysphoria

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟

“And you're sure you want me to cut it? You won't do it yourself?”

“I can't exactly see the back of my head, so yes.” You sit on a stool, hands knitted together in anxiety. You'd asked Sebastian if he would be willing to cut your hair for you today. It had been, admittedly, a bit awkward to ask. He’d been flipping through files and restocking the supplies on his tail when you'd stepped into his shop. Your long hair getting in your eyes and somewhat fanning out nearly down to your hips. You hadn't had the opportunity to get it cut in so long it made your skin crawl. You felt…feminine. Way too feminine. You can't remember the last time you let your hair grow out this long and its made it really, really hard to focus on anything else. Its not just because it gets in your eyes and you can't for the life of you find a hairtie. Its deeper than that. You've started to almost flinch away from your reflections in the water and windows.

You've started to grab at your hips, at your face, poking and prodding and wondering if you can even pass with long hair. You haven't met another person besides Sebastian and the idea of being unable to see yourself the way you should. The way you know in your heart to be right. It makes you uncomfortable. You can only pinch and poke and prod for so long before your skin gets irritated. Right now, sat here, waiting for Sebastian to cut your hair? This was like your skin getting irritated. You had to debate if you were willing to even let another person cut your hair. What if they butchered it? What if it made you look worse than before? What if he fucked it up so bad you looked like one of those weird troll dolls but worse somehow? It had been your biggest worry for quite some time, until your hair got long enough that you couldn't stand it anymore.

“I feel like I should make you sign a waiver.”

“Sebastian, Im serious. Please, just cut it, I don't care if it's the worst thing ever. I can't keep walking around like this.”

“You understand my hands are too big to fit these scissors properly, right?”

“Doesnt matter, just get it done.” He sighs and grabs a collection of your long locks, specifically the one around your face. He straightens the hair to the best of his abilities using a hand so he can make the cleanest cuts he can.

“Why does this matter so much to you? Shouldn't you be, I don't know, focused on surviving? I mean paying me for a haircut seems a bit much.”

“Its…complicated.”

“How complicated can it really be?” He hums as he continues to make cuts, the sound of scissors through hair joining the sound of dripping water and Sebastian's voice. Would he even be cool about something like this? He doesn't particularly like anyone, and he's not really friendly with you either. Would he use it against you somehow? Would he get aggressive about it?

“I just feel kind of…feminine, and it makes me uncomfortable.” You mutter and this only gets a chuckle, sounding condescending.

“Oh, Expendable, long hair doesn't make you any less of a man. Don't be ridiculous.”

“I just don't like it.”

“Look, all I'm saying is, you could have bought a medkit instead of a haircut. If its this important than fine. Who am I to tell you how to spend your collected data?”

“Whether it makes me more of a man or not, is it wrong of me to not like feeling…” You trail off, and all at once, Sebastian tenses mid cut.

“Oh…thats what this is about.” His tone softens up a bit, the mild poking he had been doing immediately being cut out as he carries on cutting your hair.

“This isn't too stupid of a purchase, I guess.” He adds on.

“Yeah?” You ask as he finishes up, putting the scissors to the side and ruffling your hair to get any loose strands out.

“Yeah. Go take a look,” he motions towards the water so you can see yourself in the reflection. You peer down into it curiously and immediately your shoulders relax. You hadn't even realized you'd been tense. Your hairs a bit choppy, admittedly, but its not ugly or particularly butchered by any means. He was oddly thoughtful and careful about taking care of your hair for you. Even saying it was ridiculous to spend your data on, he didn't ruin it for you on purpose.

“Its good, you did a good job.”

“Yeah, well, I'm sure if you keep coming to me I'll get better every time.”

“Im sure you will, then.” You give him a smile and he kind of awkwardly smiles back for a moment. A bit of hesitation as you grab the keycard off his desk and put your swimming gear back on now that its dry.

“Wait.”

“Ah- Yes Sebastian?” You turn, concerned about what he might say. He's not stupid and you're certain he's figured you out by now. If he doesn't like it, there's nothing he can do about it sure but you always tense when people get all awkward around you. He hesitates a moment longer before giving you a little wave.

“You look better with short hair anyway.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I do…now go on and get out of here. I've got other Expendables to deal with and a mess of hair to clean.”

[twipsai]

this one panel in issue #50 and it's, like, not THAT bad alright

fuck it im tired and had a long day this is my treat to myself. im talking about that panel. yes, THAT panel. which one?

THIS ONE. alrighty this is off the cuff and terrible, lets go.

so this panel isnt like, that bad in context when it comes to Sonic. i think specifically "ive made peace with enough enemies to know there is a better way" is a really interesting line here, because it calls back to the amount of times that the "villain" hes fought has just been a person whos hurting, and how hes been able to help those people. it makes sense that eventually hes more keen on trying to figure out someones whole story before deciding if theyve gotta go (which is rare).

but i want to talk about the FRAMING of this panel, and specifically the larger context of this issue in particular. theres a lot of flip-flopping in perspectives. usually, IDW is told through Sonic's perspective (loosely, this kind of thing is up to interpretation a lot), but in issue 50, it switches rapidly between four different groups -- Sonic and Surge, Tails and Kit, Eggman and Starline, and Belle and Metal. within these groups, the perspective its being told from changes a few times, but never as much as Sonic and Surge's do

i actually love these two when they interact as a storyteller myself, and one that has handled scripts too often for my own liking. Sonic and Surge do this thing where they push and pull the pacing of the script to fit their motives -- Surge keeps trying to escalate things, whenever shes in a panel everything starts pushing rapidly and it feels like the panels are tumbling off the page. when Sonic does anything, though, its slow and deliberate. hes having fun fighting, sure, but he can very much tell that Surge is trying to kill him and hes not having any of that. Sonic keeps things slow and focused, Surge tries to push things faster and unfocused. i could get into how this reflects her motivations and stuff but thats not what this is about i already lost track of what i was talking about fuck hang on

ok so. Surge knows shes supposed to be Sonic, to be BETTER than Sonic. its all she knows, really, and thats the problem. shes traumatized and full of rage and Sonic has been put on this high pedestal, not just by her, but by everyone. she cannot stand this.

this panel is how SURGE sees Sonic, specifically the composition. hes shrouded in light and physically above her -- its not even that subtle of a metaphor, they use it all the time in idw.

the entire overpowered saga shows Surge clawing for control of herself, her life, her freedom... this issue sets all that up in the main story. the way Sonic is framed here isnt how he sees himself at all. weve seen him do this exact same thing from his own perspective before, where everyone is on even ground. he doesnt see himself as above anyone, this instance of him being depicted as such isnt alluding to how Sonic feels about himself, its how Surge feels about Sonic.

and, look, its not the most well-done in the world. this issue has a whole host of problems, evident by the constant switching of focus from one group to a next (a problem that i think they did better on in the Phantom Rider saga). i literally forgot about Belle and Metal in this issue bc theres just so much more going on, i wouldve loved for them to slow things down a bit, maybe splitting it into two issues, but hey, what can you do, yk?

as an aside, i think its really weird how people narrow in on this specific panel of Sonic as being "so out of character", which i sorta like, 30% agree with (i think some phrasing could be better), and then ignore the page right after it...

...in which he pretty much says "you dont get freedom if youre gonna be a problem". funnily enough, on twitter i have this flow chart saved whenever i need a quick guide on Sonics morality and stuff, its really not that complicated

x

none of this is new imo, we see he has the same philosophy in sa1 and satbk. Chaos was blinded by rage and pain after being trapped for thousands of years RIGHT after they were attacked by the echidnas. Merlina was so scared of death (implied to be because she had lost family members and wasnt able to cope with it well) that she became a monster in an attempt to never let anything change ever again. these arent very different stories in my head i guess, just cases of Sonic seeing people who are hurting and doing his best to free them from that.

uhhhh anyways. all this is disorganized i forgot what i was talking about like 5 times while writing this but. people on twitter are ripping into this issue again. like its a b tier issue stop acting like its an f yk Q_Q i will defend anything if people are too mean tbh

thanks for making it this far if you read all this. i love idw a lot and i think that it does have some flaws, theyre all really blown out of proportion.

have a great day/afternoon/evening wherever you are yall :) bye bye

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

Clone baby AU TimKonBartCassie

Part 1

"Don't be mad."

Tim is more than aware he might not be the most sane, he also is more than aware that sometimes he does things that can be considered rage inducing or morally wrong but he can't say he regrets his choices.

Especially when she's seven pounds four ounces and just holding her makes him ready to burn the whole word down.

A perfect blend of him, Kon, Bart, and Cassie which oddly enough was extremely difficult to do since as it turns out genetic sequencing which is already absurdly complicated gets even worse when you add two more people.

She's perfect.

It was a spur of the moment decision a nightmare that drove him right back into the center of his grief.

He was staring at his previous cloning calculations and for a moment he was so incrediblely selfish.

He wanted a piece of his friends proof in a way of how deeply devoted he is to them. Something that no matter what couldn't be taken from him, something he could love unconditionally.

In a darker part of his mind he admits that the baby, his child who is incredible could have been just his and Kon's a half kryptonian but in his experience that is still too mortal.

But combined with a speedster and demigod he might have just made an unbeatable weapon. Not that his little girl will ever be that, he won't allow it.

"Tim is that a baby?" Kon gasps.

He only had held her for five minutes the greatest thing in the word had only been alive for ten minutes before he raced to titans tower holding his precious cargo.

All of them, the other parents? His friends sitting peacefully watching some program completely unaware of what's he's done. Not that it stayed that way for long.

"Is that Luci?" Bart asks.

All of them turn even Tim completely shocked his entire explanation that he had been planning for the last few hours gone with one sentence.

"Bart do you know this random baby? Also Luci what kind of name is that? Tim why do you have a baby?Cassie demands trying to sound stern but everyone can tell is beyond confused.

Bart who had gotten up walks not an once of speed the calmest any of them have ever seen, over to him a soft smile directed at apperently Luci although Tim agrees wth Cassie it's a weird name and not what he was planning.

"Our son, and Luci is a nickname, and if I'm right Tim just spent the last twenty four-ish hours creating him."

Before he can comprehend half of what Bart just said. Luci?

Is being cradled head perfectly surported by the speedster along with soft cooing from said speedster looking so natural as if fatherhood was created just for him.

Finally he finds his voice.

"Daughter, but Bart is right she's ours."

A giggle interrupts the cooing before a smirk paints Bart's face.

"No it's definitely son but it will be a good few years before he's able to voice that specific issue, not that it's much of an issue with all the money your daddy has isn't that right little lightening?"

And once again Bart is back to being absurdly attractive holding their child that Tim is getting a feeling he had prior knowledge of. Who also is trans? Maybe? which is completely fine of course but back to the whole Bart clearly knows something.

"Imp, ok I get the whole Rob made a baby with our DNA thing. No offense but I'm not exactly surprised Sunshine, your crazy we love that about you, but Bart why are you talking like you already know them."

Kon asks sounding very tired which Tim is a little offended by, he's not crazy.

Also how dare he be so accepting of Tim's cloned child as if this is Tuesday and Tim does this everyday he definitely does not, he's not Batman well ok maybe a little bit like him but still.

Wow Tim is way to sleep deprived if this is his inner monologue right now.

"Because I do. Lilith right? That's the name you had in mind apperently he doesn't actually mind you going with that for now since in his own words it inspires his much scarier name. God I love that kid."

Tim blanks.

He swallows throat suddenly really dry.

"Bart did you go to the future?"

He is trying to process but is now very scared is a time line fractured? Could his child not exist, and nevermind the whole Bart apperently already has insider info on the child his child that Tim just made ten fucking minutes ago.

"Oh no nothing like that."

He laughes out as if Bart hasn't been sitting on life changing information for who knows how long. Which is also extremely hypocritical of him considering secret child and timeline shenanigans that he was just panicking over.

"Our wonderful, gremlin, of a child ran into me actually some evil rouge with Time Travel powers which was a whole thing."

He pauses clearly rejoicing in some memory of their child that again Tim you know his mother wasn't privy to. Even though Tim is a man which would make him Dad but he created the baby so he should have been the first to have fond memories.

"I went to interrupt said fight not knowing and your child, yah Robie he was hundred percent your child, threw a DNA test in my face told me to get out of his way and absolutely demolished the dude before who I believe and I am just speculating here, was your brother's kid grabbed the dude and threw him into some weird portal before vanishing."

Tim is gonna lose his fucking mind his baby who he just created.

Grows up to be a superhero which alright not surprising, but also apperently one of his siblings has a child also not surprising. But they apperently travel through time together and cause chaos how fucking lovely he is starting to feel really guilty about everything with Bruce.

Oh my god he has to tell Bruce. But first.

"Which sibling?"

He doesn't actually know what's he's hoping for maybe Dick's kid yah, a sunshine child, chaotic but nice yah that sounds like a good influence. On once again his twenty minute old son? Daughter something? Whatever baby.

"Well based on the guns, and arrows that were floating around. You also can't forget the helmet I would say that was Arsenal and Red Hood's very own precious bundle but Luci wouldn't give me a straight answer but what would you expect when we raised him."

Tim's tired very tired he doesn't even stop himself from face planting onto the floor. Everything will make more sense after a nap a very long nap.

Oh my god Jason procreated is his last thought before he falls into a nightmare filled sleep.

[thebibliosphere]

Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

[tragicvampireromanceisland]

thinking so long and hard about joyness once more…like yesss they are very cute and sweet and all but i think them getting together even after their History is sooo interesting. like, does joy first start hanging out around sadness and talking with her more often out of guilt? is it performative? when does it stop being performative?? and at what point does joy realize it’s stopped being performative? how does joy feel when every single interaction she has with sadness after the events of the first movie are just like…constant reminders of how she screwed up with her prior? liking someone who makes her feel that bad when she normally never lingers on what she's done wrong just seems so counterintuitive (fun fact: joy has literally never genuinely apologized for anything she's done, across both movies. she's acknowledged and fixed her mistakes before, sure, but she has never expressed guilt so straightforwardly like that. is she simply incapable of it? or has she just...never given importance to feeling guilty before so long as she can just Fix her mistake? just something very interesting i've noticed...)!!

like, joy’s canonically admitted that she’s literally tried to kick sadness out of headquarters before. that’s truly how little joy thought of her before she got to know her better…she totally would have been fine with just. never seeing her again. imagine disliking your coworker THAT much since the very first day you met her and now you have feelings for her…?! not a possibility joy ever would have considered, and i think joy would struggle a Lot with coming to terms with that initially. she is the Queen of cognitive dissonance. of being Delusional. it’s HARD to shake off old habits just like that!! joy is someone who very much doesn’t fully acknowledge how she feels until it gets so intense it bubbles up to the surface and breaks through her usual demeanor (we’ve seen that both with how she’s gotten sad and angry before…who’s to say romance would not be the same. i think she’d just keep denying it until she just. has an Ah Shit moment with sadness one day. probably over something completely mundane).

and it certainly doesn’t help that sadness is, well. Sadness! she clearly admires joy from the very beginning even when joy treated her so poorly (knowing her she probably thought she deserved it…sigh). she’d literally just assume absolutely nothing would come out of her feelings. and you know she probably might even romanticize and Enjoy it in a weird way…i mean think about it. she canonically likes sad romance novels…this is her own "tragic romance" (apparently. SUPPOSEDLY) so i think she’d kind of insistently cling to that. define their entire relationship as unrequited and reallyyy lean into it and warp anything that happens otherwise to fit her little Doomed Yuri vision. she's observant as hell for pretty much everything, normally, but she just has goddamn Horse Blinders on for just this one thing specifically.

she’s just completely unaware of how fundamentally she’s changed joy and shattered her entire worldview (meanwhile joy is just busy having a whole crisis about exactly that). and NOW she has to deal with actually being treated like she matters, both by joy and the other emotions?? helloooo? she’s definitely got a lot to process by this point because Her entire way of living has changed too now in an entirely different direction.

AND then you add to that how it's pretty clear that sadness knows joy pretty well, but joy still has a Lot to learn about sadness because she never gave her a chance before...very much a recipe for guilt and confusion and miscommunication and other such weird occurrences to arise.

BASICALLY tldr theyre both kind of idiots and i think their dynamic is a little more complicated than people give it credit for. joyness is a veryyy. She fell first (sadness) she fell harder (joy) type of dynamic. To Me.

[weebsinstash]

I'm sorry but I'm going insane for your idea of Lilith and Luci getting a sinner pregnant together can we please have more of your thoughts on this idea 🙏

Absolutely because I'm a dirty little heathen and Season 2 isn't just about to magically pop up out of the ground and I've had SOME THOUGHTS and also this post is way longer than it should be 💀

I was sitting and I was thinking of the concept of the Hotel having communal breakfasts or having at least one day of the week where there's food served and everyone (typically) eats together, not only as a bonding/unity sort of thing but also simular to how real hotels can have complimentary breakfast as part of your stay, and like, yeesh this is actually an entirely separate fic idea in of itself but you're talking with Alastor and you're saying something along the lines of "oh yeah, well, I was actually starting to think a lot about motherhood before I died, but, raising children is so complicated, not to mention society right now is so genuinely hostile and dangerous to children, and i wouldn't have been able to afford it anyways, and, well, you know, NOW i literally can't have them down here"

AND FROM THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE END OF THE TABLE

COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED

HERE'S LILITH, "Oh! It wouldn't be impossible at all! You and Lucifer could still have a baby :)"

RECORD SCRATCH SOUND EFFECT AS EVERYONE LOOKS TO THE QUEEN OF HELL. She seems completely unbothered while her husband is A TOMATO, he can barely even look in your direction, he's just tugging on her sleeve, "L-Lili, cmon, don't say things like that 😳🥴" and awkwardly laughing, maybe even asking to speak to his wife in private (I feel like its a regular occurrence for these two to dip out of a room and reappear and Lilith is reapplying her lipstick as she re-enters followed by a kiss covered Lucifer lmao)

Can you even imagine going to Charlie, "hey um, this is awkward, your mom keeps like. Jesus please don't kill me I'm not a homewrecker but your mom keeps making comments about me having a baby with your dad and she sounds completely serious about it and shes been bringing it up for like two weeks" and you could not be saying this in a more obvious "hey girl this is weird and I don't like it, can you chat with your parents for me to stop this" kind of way BUT, the actual way Charlie is responding ALSO THROWS YOU OFF. I can see it already, Charlie all but LIGHTS UP WITH EXCITEMENT and she, takes a breath, "oh!! I mean!! You don't have to do anything you don't want to obviously, bbBUT UH THAT BEING SAID oh gosh that sounds like it would make you really happy, aaaaand and I know you wanted a family of your own and, hey isn't this place about new beginnings and" GIRL WE AREN'T HAVING A BABY WITH YOUR DAD TF?

You know how I made that post "hey Lucifer kind of appears to have these vague Master Of All type powers down in Hell, what if he could manipulate your dreams and made you dream about being a kid because he's wanting to heal your inner child/adopt you". I also started thinking recently about Lucifer AND OR Lilith using these powers to make you dream about 1) being with them in general and more specifically 2) motherhood and i started mentally deep diving for that shit. Like. It could genuinely actually get so fucked up actually. Could you imagine you're just, VULNERABLE with the Queen of Hell and you're drunk and you're crying and you're just, SPILLING EVERYTHING, she's getting your entire life's story, and she's petting your hair as youre way too drunk to realize youre telling her way too much, amd she's just thinking "oh you poor thing, human society sounds absolutely dreadful now" and like. Think of it from a hypothetical fantasy psychology perspective. It's not like Lilith has never been part of modern society, she's been a member of Hell forever and has only been out of contact for 7 years, BUT she also exists from a time predating all of that AND she built Hell with Lucifer, so like, imagine she actually starts forming some um Strong Opinions on how, it sounds like all these complicated modern things are really dragging you down, both as a person and as a free spirit, and comes to a consensus that your life needs to be a little... simpler

I'm serious, I'm talking "Lilith makes you dream about being In The Actual Goddamn Garden Of Eden Itself with her and Lucifer and you're ALL naked". Just completely controlling your dream. You're naked as the day you were born and so are they and you can't control your dream at ALL. Lilith is wanting to like, watch you peacefully frolic around, I'm talking she wants to see you having your Hot Nymph Summer where you're napping in beds of flowers and you're having birds land on your finger and you're gasping at all the pretty flowers and wanting to explore and, experiencing the beauty of being alive without all these messy modern nuances and it's like NO MAAM I DONT WANT TO PICK BERRIES FROM THAT BUSH, YOU CAN SEE M Y BUSH AND I CAN SEE YOURS AND YOUR HUSBANDS---

Alastor is over here thinking he's hot shit, "oh I do so wish we could return to simpler times without all these modern trivial problems!!" MEANWHILE LILITH IS LIKE. ACTUALLY GOING THAT EXTRA MILE. Alastor is like "boo cellphones are bad and women dont dress modestly enough, people these days spend too mych time with technology and not with family" meanwhile in "the garden" a completely naked Lilith is braiding your hair and weaving flowers into it while an also completely naked Lucifer is feeding you berries by hand as they discuss the idea of having a nice fun swim in the lake passed the glade, like you guys really are frolicking and fucking around like a bunch of fairies and it's. It's peaceful and fun but also you miss your cellphone and having underwear 😩 like miss queen of hell can I PLEASE get some boob support--

Moving on, I was thinking of the Fake Garden in of itself, as its own idea, but like in this poly baby raising context, it would be essentially Phase 1 of the plan to normalize their presences to you and make you more comfortable around them and then skipping into Phase 10 of "oh hey by the way you're gonna have a dream about um sleeping with the King and Queen of Hell and it's Totally Not Real and you're Totally Definitely Not Actually Like For Real For Real Legitimately Pregnant Now ;)" like. First off before I get any farther in this post can we just like acknowledge the like HEINOUSNESS of you not knowing everything is "real dreams" and LiliLuci using this to their full advantage to ask and find out anything about you because basically to them, they think you're just being boggled down and negatively influences by modern human society and you're like an onion they have to peel some layers off of first to expose those juicy inner tender bits

Just. Ok. Like. High level fantasy horror concept ok, here we go I'm gonna cook here:

It eventually does move on to you having dreams about living in an actual home with Lucifer and Lilith, sleeping with them in you know, All Those Ways, basically in what you think is some weird imaginary throuple that while you do find yourself enjoying it like actually, you can't wake up from it, and these dreams can feel WAY too long sometimes. You're dreaming of some, "am I a man dreaming I am a butterfly or am I a butterfly dreaming i am a man" shit where you hit the pillow in Hell and Dream You is waking up, seeing your husband and wife get ready for work and you're basically a pampered stay at home spouse. I honestly can't decide what dynamic would be cuter: both of them having jobs, you and Lilith having jobs while Lucifer is the house husband, only Lilith having a job while you and Lucifer do dumb shit at home, or Lucifer being big daddy and bringing home all the money while you and Lilith lounge by the pool and she takes you to the spa and pampers you all day and is sending texts and photos of how cute you are to her husband while he's working

You're probably thinking "wait but weeb this is actually kind of cute, where is the horror" and for starters it just kind of, mentally wears your energy down over time to 'never shut your brain off' and have true rest, like Lilith and Lucifer intentionally 'trade' you being alert in reality to you being more conscious in the dream world, so, you're not as present when you're around ACTUAL people as you are when you're in their little, fucked up pocket dimension.

Then you've got. The baby. You're pregnant ONLY in the dream. You have THE ACTUAL PAINFUL EXPERIENCE of giving birth, BUT THEN you're waking up and you can't hold your child, show them to your friends, have the, SANITY AND COMFORT OF KNOWING YOU ACTUALLY HAVE ONE. You're waking up DEVASTATED. Where's your baby? 🥺 oh right.... They're not... actually real... like it fucks you up psychologically

I just picture, if I were to put it in an order of events. You go from 1. Lilith and Lucifer are just your casual acquaintances, Charlie's parents that you know through her 2. They start getting closer to you as you stay longer at the Hotel 3. Ok we get along and have fun moments and even sing songs and we have fun times with your daughter ^^ 4. Ok you're getting maybe a little comfortable, am I tripping or are you a little too comfortable 5. You're Bush Out in Fake Eden 6. You accidentally slip up and get more cozy with them in reality because Ok Maybe The Stupid Garden Bullshit IS Fun And Maybe A Little Soul Healing 🙄 7. You're getting banged in the Garden 8. Being in reality is awkward now, suddenly you're avoiding them less, so you're dreaming about them more, having them push themselves closer to you in response to you trying to pull away, like even if you're spending entire days outside of the Hotel you can't escape needing to sleep eventually 9. Suddenly you're like, not in Eden, you're in a hospital getting an ultrasound w Lili Luci holding your hands as a doctor tells the three of you you're pregnant and oh no you're actually really happy and excited about it 🥺 10. crushing crushing reality. You're single and not pregnant and you're beating yourself up for these fucked up dreams you're blaming yourself for having, as if they're some self conscious desire and you're kinkshaming yourself for having them 11. Dream You is having your baby, everyone is so happy like it's actually so perfect, even when you're stressed as a first time parent you have so much love and support to keep you strong 12. You wake up and it's nothing but DEPRESSION DEPRESSION DEPRESSION where is my baby and my wife and my husband who love me and I love them DEPRESSION DEPRESSION DEPRESSION 13. Lilith and Lucifer HAVE TO to spill that Hey Our Baby Is Real because you're like going near insane with "grief" like youre like actually wanting to try and end your life or constantly self harming because Where Is MY CHILD 14. You're so fucked up at this point you don't care to ask questions when they hand your Very Much Real Baby to you looking exactly how you remember them from your dreams. You're just happy your baby is real and now you can be with them all of the time and you don't even care that um This Was Such A Fucking Ethically Dubious Conception.

Do you think the other Hotel residents would have a sliding scale of being ok with this. Like you just SHOW UP WITH THIS LITTLE BLONDE BABY IN YOUR ARMS and Lilith and Lucifer are all but glued to you and they're all fucking confused because WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??? you barely even spend time with these two, or so they thought??? When were you PREGNANT??? HOW??? I feel like realistically if they aren't all, you know, as Equally Crazy For You, that they would find this extremely manipulative and fucked up MEANWHILE CHARLIE DOESNT CARE and may have been in on it.

Also "something something what if Reader being able to get pregnant also turned out to be like God Himself being like 'hey lucifer lilith here's the deal I'm throwing you a bone right now, ok, this is for you, to keep things chill between us mk' and there are added layers of Oh Shit You Were Created To Be With Them" as if your ass wouldn't have an impossible enough time escaping as is 😭💀

But like... the concept of Reader falling so deep into "grief" that it gets so bad that you're basically not eating or sleeping, Lucirer and Lilith were always gonna tell you but they're forced to do it abruptly because you just breakdown and can't stop crying. Or it's even Charlie disobeying her parents and running up to you with your baby who stops crying the moment they're in your arms

I also just... as a final note..... just as a cute palette cleanser there's one specific idea I keep thinking of... you have your new baby and you're showing it to all your Hotel buddies and you give it to Alastor to hold because your baby was giggling and gurgling at him and you're just, death grip on his shoulder, "alastor please hold my child :) they're excited go meet you, say hi" and while you're like, vaguely threatening him to interact with this baby which he has Extremely Valid Reasons To Find Abhorrent, his deer ears move or twitch, and your baby is just looking up at him with their big eyes, watching those ears twitch, and, poof! Your baby has their first Lucifer/Lilith related shape-shifting incident and suddenly your baby has twitching little red ears and they're looking up at Alastor with these big cute eyes and here you are, "alastor :) aren't you going to praise my baby :) they just had their very first shift and it's for you :) tell them what a good job they did :) you're not trying to make my baby uncomfortable are you :)" and. Ok Maybe this does win Alastor over a bit being the narcissist that he is BUT THE TRUE REWARD is Lucifer scrambling into the room after you call out in excitement, dropping to his knees and all but wailing, "NO, WHY IS MY BABY HAVING THEIR FIRST SHIFT FOR Y O U AND I MISSED IT" and you just have Alastor being an ABSOLUTE SHIT, suddenly oh so cozy with your baby, "well talent recognizes talent! This little one clearly has potential! Why, look at how clearly they ALREADY ADORE THEIR DEAR UNCLE ALASTOR >:)" and from then on you can't leave these two men alone with your baby or they'll be having nonstop contests to "win them over" and prove who the best role model/caretaker is

Ok. Lastly. Lastly lastly lastly. THIS BABY SPECIFICALLY IS RUINING MY LIFE. Look at those STUPID CHUBBY cheeks and those big eyes and how attentive and focused she is like oh my godddddddd if LiliLuci handed one of those to me "this is yours" i would just die like 🥺🥺🥺 man, I'll have to tell you guys later about my idea for "Reader wants to see if Rosie will let them adopt a Hellborn baby and Alastor helps vouch for you and lowkey becomes your husband/the child's second parent" or "Reader finds an abandoned imp baby and all the shenanigans/protective possessive feelings from your yandere/s that follow once you begin your motherhood journey "

[nerves-nebula]

this gonna be a bitchy post lacking in nuance but who cares. im annoyed.

child predators and abusers will use literally whatever is most effective to groom someone, that's kind of the whole fuckin point. pointing out that they can use certain media to groom kids is like pointing out that you can drink liquids. like yea you sure can. you can groom a kid through their interest in sesame street. you can groom a kid with adventure time. you can twist even the most harmless story book with a Nice Upstanding Moral at the end into whatever you want.

when i was in high school I basically fell in love with any teacher that gave me food cuz i was fucking starving and that's a way more effective way to gain my trust than like, idk, sketchy fandom porn. (which i also loved as a kid/teen but I never really talked to people online or in person about it cuz i didnt wanna get adults in trouble!) and if someone online was weird to me back then i just ghosted them cuz i didn't have to exist in meat space with them if they made me uncomfortable.

anyway back to my point: should we ban granola bars cuz they were a way to fast-track the trust of food insecure kids? the way some of y'all talk about abuse, and grooming in specific is so frustrating, like, what are you fuckin talking about. grooming is a series of actions a person chooses to take to get what they want, it's manipulation, what they use to groom people with is entirely situational and moreover irrelevant.

should we all just sit in 5 x 5 cubes and paint neutral faces on a canvas till we die or should we try to have systems in place to prevent adults from gaining so much control over kids just by being kind of nice to them. and that's not even getting into how censorship literally never works the way you might want it to. it's impossible to create censorship that isn't inherently bigoted and useless because the only people with the power to properly censor are the people with the most power in general. and they do not like the rest of us. and they are also often on the side of abusers, if not abusers themselves!

yall will gives thousands of notes to posts that basically say they want the haze code back cuz you're too dumb and reactionary to think about fucking anything other than "child abuse bad so i guess i agree." then go patting yourselves on the back without having helped a single child.

yall love to feel vindicated more than you care about victims. don't act like anything you do is for the survivors if your focus is always on retribution or censorship against the abusers. you don't care about us. you don't remember we even exist half the time. none of you have looked into what actually helps us, none of you internalize our complicated feelings, none of you are willing to ease up on your christian ideas of sex and sexuality unless we explain our entire traumatic backstories to you. and then you say we're broken and need help, as if what we don't really need is for you to back us up or leave us the fuck alone.

none of you care. you just wanna find acceptable targets for your anger so you can feel good about destroying the Bad Person. dont piss me off

[dreamofbecoming]

y’all i literally never have omegaverse thoughts but here i am having omegaverse thoughts (i blame witcher fic, characters who can smell emotions are just too damn juicy *shakes fist* ineeeeex!)

omegaverse fics where characters can parse individual emotions from specific people in addition to a personal base scent are confusing for me, logistically. you know? like as a trope, they’re amazing and convenient and they lead to fascinating little complications in communication and i eat that shit up with a spoon, but like. how does it work??

so then i’m thinking, okay, obviously it’s something you pick up naturally using cues from your family as a child, and your friends and classmates as your social circle widens as you age. the way we pick up slang or body language irl, right? that could work. you know what happiness smells like because it’s what your mother smells like when your dad comes home with flowers. you know what sadness smells like when your friend at school is allergic to chocolate so they can’t have any of benji’s birthday cupcakes. that kind of thing. but it’s all semi-unconscious, and some people have gaps as they grow up because they’ve never been exposed to something before

my point being, where is my fic where steve is driving dustin to the snowball and he gives the kid a few last minute pieces of advice and promises to be there to pick him up later and dustin gives him that big bright gummy smile and the car fills up with…what the hell is that? i mean it smells good? but steve’s never smelled anything like it. maybe in passing, but never directed at him and definitely not so strong. the hell is this kid feeling?

and he doesn’t ask, doesn’t want to look stupid, so he just tells dustin not to do that weird growling thing again and boots him out of the car, but he keeps smelling it. on dustin, mostly, but also the other kids sometimes, once even on mrs. henderson when she had to work an overnight and he told her it was no trouble at all to stay on the couch and keep dusty company. and it’s so weird and he doesn’t understand it at all but it doesn’t seem bad, or dangerous, so it’s probably fine?

and then he asks robin out on a bathroom floor and gets shot down immediately, and he pivots on a dime and rearranges his whole worldview for her in about ten seconds, and he’s halfway through a chorus of total eclipse of the heart when that scent swells again, soured a little by the drugs but big enough to fill the whole bathroom. and he doesn’t ask until after, until all the dust is settled and things are calm even if they’re broken beyond repair, but he doesn’t mind looking stupid in front of robin, really, so it’s okay to ask.

and she gives him this look, like he just took his nailbat to her heart, and then she flings herself at him and hugs him tighter than anyone ever has in his life, and she explains. and then he’s crying too

where is my fic where steve doesn’t know what love smells like

(well, turns out the fic is here)

[papierboa]

whoops kind of went radio silent there BUT! heres that imp tweek from the last post

more info below if youre curious

hes the pianist for craig's church but ooo he's also a demon .ahhhh!! comedical hijinks

i cant simplify the entirety of the au without disregarding some stuff because it's still an active wip and we change shit all the time but it's set during the american revolution. tweek's abt 40 physically but yknow he's a demon he's gotta be some unnatural age .. like 200 or something

his role as a pianist is his first real exposure to humans so he's a little awkward and doesnt entirely get social cues. also he's southern despite being a demon you can just claim hell is inherently part of the south id believe you

he has his goatish form and his human form and this weird inbetween with just horns wings and a tail. that's the most amount of shape shifting he can do though

of course he can fiddle. why wouldn't he be able to

plus art of that mentioned inbetweenish form

might make a post like this for barbarian tweek too id have to think abt what to say about him though because that au specifically is so much more complicated than this one oh my god

[sirsagrell]

While I'm usually critical about Veilguard, and will probably continue to be critical, I want to switch gears for a bit and engage in some positivity. Because there are things in it I liked and I don't want to lose sight of them.

So this is a collection of random Veilguard positivity rambles about some things I genuinely liked:

The entire character of Davrin: Davrin and his confusion about sacrificing himself as was expected of him but surviving, Davrin and his complicated but constructive relationship with his heritage that informs everything about him. Davrin knowing what is and isn't a monster, and giving Isseya her name back. Davrin is just very Dragon Age to me. Also holy shit, hot.

Generally, most of the stuff that surrounds the Wardens - the Hossberg Wetlands, the siege of Weisshaupt, the wardens Ivo, those records about the first qunari Warden, the First Warden trying to take the sacrifice of killing Razikale upon himself, the fucked up fortress for hiding fucked up stuff, the surviving wardens saying fuck it post-Weisshaupt and turning the joining into a blight vaccine.

The flowers in Hossberg quest (or was it a hidden quest?). Loved that. Flowers starting to bloom on previously blighted land was a plot point in that DA fic I outlined in my head 10 years ago and never wrote.

While I'm on the subject of plants, Harding's greenhouse was just stunning. Went to just stare at it multiple times regardless of Harding having anything to say to me. And it's thematically resonant too.

Neve as a concept seems like a character designed specifically to appeal to me personally in every way possible. If I was a Dragon Age character I would want to marry Neve. In my actual playthrough Neve never quite stuck, but I wasn't playing myself, I was trying to play a character who fucking hates Tevinter. So I am actually considering doing a separate Neve appreciation playthrough, and I have never replayed a game just to get more of one particular character before. You are too alluring, Neve.

Taash is interestingly and realistically flawed. People like to critique their coming-out scene because Shathann wasn't even really rejecting them, rather trying to understand them through concepts familiar to her, but I like it as written. You get so used to your mother being relentlessly critical of you, you work up the courage to have this important conversation because you know that is the right thing to do, you come prepared to stand your ground, you've been imagining everything she will say and rehearsing what to say back, and when she's honestly trying to understand and reach out, you don't even really notice it and lash out anyway, because you expected this conversation to go badly. This is very human.

Also, I vibe with Taash a lot. I too am socially challenged, sometimes unintentionally rude, surrounded by things that are certifiably messed up, struggle with cultural shit, and think dragons are the best.

I honestly liked the hair. Especially those luscious curls on Teia. This might be the first game I played where hair wasn't some kind of a distracting eyesore. I kid you not it improved my immersion.

I don't actually remember if it was like this in previous games, but I am very glad they labeled the flirt/romance dialogue options in the most unambiguous way possible. I played Baldur's Gate 3 recently and the most seemingly innocuous dialogue options led to flirting all the time. I realize this may be a me problem (see above, socially challenged), but having the options labeled and never having to reload because I'm not trying to flirt with you dammit is very relaxing. Which reminds me.

I think, that despite all its flaws, and weird narrative decisions, and wild shifts in theme and tone, Veilguard still made a better attempt at saying meaningful things than everyone's game of the year 2023 Baldur's Gate 3 did (runs away and hides under a rock).

[sleepymccoy]

Okay so something happened in the trekdom (is that a term anyone has ever used)

I think spirk got canonised?? Or something?? And I assume that as my certified Trekkie Mutual you feel some kinda way about this. you’re a Spones shipper but still how we doing?

I'm sure someone's used trekdom! It makes sense as a word regardless

I appreciate the Trekkie certification lol

Yeah dude, look. Most of the fandom is big into spirk so like people enjoying that romance is par for the course! I got nothing against spirk, it's just a bit of a boring dynamic so I don't really spend time on it. Too healthy for my tastes. Spones is way more juicy, it's got the tension and the sort of different world views that you see in good omens, so it's fun!

To be clear tho, spirk is as canon as it's ever been. Strong subtext, but in the way that a homophobe could watch it and say well they're just good friends. Nothing has changed in that sense, it's just another bit of footage doing more of the same. It's less gay than a lot of the original series, but it's new and shiny so on a surface level i get the excitement

Shatner, who plays Kirk, has done this as a non canon short film. It's apparently considered as canon as the novels? Which is like, not much. Most people don't engage. I haven't really looked into that, im not gonna watch it cos it kind of pisses me off

The thing that really fucks my goat about it is that the guy who plays Spock died a while ago, and didn't get along with the guy who plays Kirk. But the guy who plays Kirk has funded and produced and managed this whole thing to be about his character and his importance, regardless of the wishes of the original Spock actor. Including literally doing someone up in prosthetics to look more like Nimoy. Not just Spock generally, but specifically Nimoy's Spock. Nimoy was involved in star trek films in his late life, and he didn't choose to do this when he was alive. Only after his death has Shatner forced this to happen

That's what's leaving a really bad taste in my mouth. And I feel like people are either not accepting Nimoy's death and are happy to see him puppeted by someone he disliked, which makes me pity them. I work in aged care so I know I'm more comfortable with death than the average, but like. This is a bit fucking dark, no? It's maudlin, let him rest in peace for fucks sake.

That, or they don't mind the manipulation of his image if it tickles their ship, which makes me dislike them. And I don't think I'll really get over that any time soon, it's so disrespectful. And those are both negative feelings, so I'm kind of generally not pleased about my dash rn

I'm trying to take an angle of being about McCoy cos he doesn't feature in the short and that feels wrong. Spock-centric stuff is feeling a little tainted right now, but I'm sure that'll pass. Fanart is different to this kind of image stealing, but it's still weird for me rn. And as much as I love Kirk, I can't remove him from Shatner and his megalomania right now. I hope that'll pass, but I don't think Shatner's gonna stop here so. Hm.

Besides I like McCoy and he's not complicated by all this so I'm just continuing to play in my little sandbox

It's a weird time for trekdom. There's a bit of a rift, and not down shipping lines. I'm seeing a lot of posts working through their complicated feeling around the disrespect inherent in stealing Nimoy's face for Shatner. And I'm seeing other people celebrate the disrespect cos their ship held hands and that makes it worth it.

I'm hoping people overwhelmingly calm down a bit in a week, get a bit embarassed about how pleased they were over something so gross, and it just sort of goes away. Then we can all go back to having a go at Shatner for his constant sexism and homophobia

At least it's not fucking AI tho!