#it’s just me ranting about daredevil because what else would it be

[azaleasparrow]

Which one is the mask? Daredevil/Matt Murdock

I think that, to some extent, they are both the mask.

When people write about this, they (tend to) talk as if Matt Murdock and Daredevil are two personalities placed into one mind, two definitively separate halves of a whole. I don’t necessarily agree with that. Matt Murdock is Daredevil and Daredevil is Matt Murdock, and there is no sharp line between them only a blur. They are just different aspects of one personality, unbalanced when viewed without the context of the other.

I do get the ‘two halves of a whole’ thing, and I think there is an amount of truth to that. But there is no clear separation between the two, no point where Matt Murdock ends and Daredevil begins.

Those who only know Daredevil would think of him as brutal and violent, which he is. Yet those who only know Matt Murdock would think of him as soft spoken and charming, and he’s all that too. Daredevil and Matt Murdock are not mutually exclusive. They coexist.

I also think that this is why Foggy doesn’t seem to accept that Matt can’t just give up being Daredevil. He knows Matt, has never known Daredevil so he finds it hard to accept that this soft spoken and charming guy is a brutal and violent vigilante. Matt acts as the mask there. (@ceterisparibus116 very much inspired this take)

(Plus, the (literal) mask isn’t what makes Matt Daredevil. The anonymity it provides allows him to be a vigilante, but removing the mask doesn’t erase what created/fuels Daredevil, it simply removes what enables Matt to physically be Daredevil.)

In short: Daredevil and Matt Murdock are not separate entities. They are simply different characteristics zoomed in on in a way that ignores the other parts entirely. Both are incomplete without the other, both are the mask.

[mags-writes]

Sunlight || Part III

Summary: frank offers his shoulder for you to cry on

Series Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical swearing, first time writing x reader, no use of y/n, no beta readers we die like ray nadeem

Pairing: frank castle x fem!reader

PROLOGUE/MASTERLIST || PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV

Three weeks had gone by. Three weeks of you and Frank dancing around each other while trying not to tip off Matt that there was something going on.

But was there? Frank seemed so in control over every fiber of his being that you doubted anything was actually going on. Then there were the days that he got home before Matt. He would stand behind you, towering above you, and give your shoulders a rub with his rough hands. He handled you like glass, like if he moved too suddenly you'd bleed. He'd help you cook dinner and tell you how beautiful his lunch was that afternoon, that the only thing missing was your company. He'd pick up when you started getting a cramp in your hand from cutting up enough vegetables for three people and rub his thumbs in soothing circles to make it go away. Then Matt would walk through the door.

Something was going on. That was for sure, even if you doubted it sometimes.

The first time you saw Matt leave the apartment in the middle of the night, you kept your breathing even and didn't move a muscle. You weren't surprised when Frank's phone woke you up a couple hours later and he left in a hurry as well. The next day when you woke up to Matt with a frozen bag of green beans to his jaw, you scolded him like an older sister. The topic of Daredevil had never come up in your mind until then. You didn't know if it was even him to start off with and if it was then who else knew? Did Foggy and Karen know like back in your dimension? Did Frank?

Matt lied straight through his teeth with a guilt-ridden expression. He fell down the stairs. Allegedly.

Other Matt tried that lie once. Only once. Before you ripped him a new asshole. And it led to you becoming his girl in the chair. It also led you to own your own firearm after some kidnappings put you in the hospital once the bad guys found out Daredevil was running around with an earpiece.

You stopped what you were about to say, Frank rounding the corner after hearing your voice echo through the apartment. You took a deep breath and accepted the gracious gift of hindsight.

"If you're lying to cover up the fact that you got punched by someone-" You were about to start a rant again when Frank chuckled.

"Who'd be cruel enough to punch a blind guy?" He said, coming closer and taking the bag off of Matt's face. "What'd you do? Fall down some stairs again?"

Oh.

Oh, Frank knows. That's why he calls Matt 'Red'.

You willed yourself for the love of god to play it dumb. Like you didn't just put the pieces together. One man before you was blind, but despite being a walking lie detector, he wouldn't be able to see your face. The other, while he admitted to being dense, could read people better than you could ever hope to.

"Whatever," You mumbled, throwing your hands up and going around them both to start your normal routine of making your coffee that had been laid out by Frank and making them lunch. "Bro code, I get it."

"Sweetheart-"

"No, it's fine." You interrupted because if you didn't then you'd fold like a lawn chair. "Have each other's backs. That's what friends are for."

You heard Frank sigh and one of them walk away.

"Hey," Frank said, putting both of his hands on your shoulders and coaxing you to turn around. You put up a little fight, stirring your coffee before Frank put more pressure and you relented with your eyes down. "Hey, hey. Look at me, hm? Look at me."

You huff, snapping your eyes up with a hint of anger.

"He forgets I know what it looks like when he lies." You said.

"Okay, so what do you think happened?" He calmly asked, and you knew exactly what he was doing.

"I don't know!" You brought your hands up in front of you. "But it's the same shit excuse the other Matt gave me every time he showed up with a beaten-up face and a limp."

Frank frowned, probably turning over the question of why Matt hadn't told you his secret.

"When did your Matt become 'other' Matt?" You froze, not expecting that question in the slightest.

You stuttered, stumbling over your words, starting a sentence and breaking off at the first word before shutting your mouth and intently looking at his chest. It wasn't hard, he was tall enough that you fit perfectly under his chin and your head rested against his chest.

You took in a sharp breath. "I don't want to go back." Frank reached out, putting his hands on your biceps, squeezing comfortingly and you brought yours to his chest, scrunching the material of his work shirt in tight fists. "All of you take for granted how safe you are here. You don't get it, I've looked up all the bad guys from my dimension, and nine out of ten times they're not here. I'm safe here."

"What about your Matt?" Frank asked, frowning like he didn't quite get it. "He's like your brother."

You look back at him at that. Matt was in his room, most likely listening in. If you said what you wanted to say then he would hear. You stuttered slightly again, getting frustrated that you couldn't get the words out.

"He doesn't see it that way." You finally got out, avoiding Frank's eyes again and you lowered your voice as tears started to gather. "He's been more Catholic whore than having Catholic guilt these days. He went through Clair and Karen and nothing's been the same since. I turned him down and I thought that we had moved passed it but right when I was brought here he brought up the topic again. I-Frank, I'm not safe there-I don't want-"

You started to cry then, sniffling and fighting off the tears as hard as you could.

"Hey, hey." Frank soothed, putting his hand behind your head and bringing you to his chest, rubbing your back with the other hand. "It's okay, doll. You don't wanna go, you don't have to."

"What if he shows up? What if he comes here and-"

"I won't let him." He squeezed tighter. I won't let him take you from me. "I won't let him make you do anything you don't wanna do."

Frank nearly sighed in relief when he remembered he was supposed to be convincing you that Matt wasn't Daredevil. Your use of 'other Matt' had thrown him so harshly that he couldn't stop his curiosity. He wondered for a moment that if you had been hiding that detail from them all then what was it like with Karen and Foggy?

You pulled back suddenly, wiping at your face and groaning for a second before shaking your head and looking up at him.

"Okay. I'm fine." You said. "Go drink your shit coffee." You started lightly pushing him away. "Go, I've got lunches to make."

Frank took a hold of your hands with a small smile, giving the upside of your palms a kiss each to the scars you refuse to tell him about that sat in the middle. Your face softened at that. A small smile fought its way to your face as he then leaned in to kiss your forehead. You had to quickly turn back to your coffee at the look he gave you, a look that he had been giving you more and more frequently, especially around Matt.

Not long later you finished up their lunches and they were sitting on the couch waiting patiently for you to bring it to them before they left. Just as usual you walked over to Matt first, him reaching out for the container and putting it in his bag then you moved to Frank who did the same. This time Frank stood first, giving you another kiss on the forehead and saying his goodbyes which confused you as Matt was usually the first out the door.

You cast a look down at Matt who by now was twiddling his thumbs as he waited for Frank to leave. Once the door was closed and Frank's heavy steps had faded he stood up.

"I'm sorry about before." He said earnestly, and you knew he was telling the truth. "I didn't mean to stress you out."

"I just-" you cut yourself off, pausing and thinking for a moment, remembering that he had absolutely heard everything you tearfully confessed to Frank. "I don't want you to lie to me."

"And I don't want to lie to you." He came forward, bringing you into a hug that you went into comfortably.

"Does it have something to do with a case?" You asked into his chest. "Are you in danger? Do we need to call the police?"

"I'll explain everything to you tomorrow night." He said as if he had just decided it at that moment. Like he was desperate to make you happy. "I promise."

He kissed the top of your head. Memories of your brother's all doing the same rushing to the surface of your mind. Memories of Matt doing the same when you were growing up. You never told him your brothers did that, never told him what it meant for him to do it. Never told him that other Matt had stopped.

"I'm not going to be coming home tonight." He said, pulling back.

"What?" You frowned harshly and he could hear it in your voice making him wince.

"Tomorrow night, remember?" He put both of his hands on your shoulders to calm you. "I just have to take care of some things tonight and hopefully it'll be sorted by tomorrow."

"And if it's not?"

"Then you'll hear about it." He said with a smile.

"What? On the news?" You said stressed again.

Matt laughed, bending down to pick up his bag.

"Let's hope not." Was his answer.

[chvoswxtch]

hi again, court!

it's once again the anon that sent the massive ass paragraphs rambling about the punisher after i finished watching it. i feel like i should either just un-anonymise myself or give myself a name or something to make it easier to identify myself?? but idk?? i'm still new to tumblr so i dunno how these things work

anyways, just wanted to say, i also am just so happy that they are taking the reboot seriously!! i only really got into like the daredevil/punisher in like the past year or so. so i feel like i don't really have the same grounds to stand on as some longer term fans but i just remember being so disappointed with karen/foggy originally not being part of born again so i'm so so glad that that changed and we have the true trio back. and frank being in it just makes me SO happy because i have become incredibly incredibly attached to frank (it might be a little unhealthy but big strong men who are morally questionable is my type haha)

i totally agree with season 2 feeling rushed, it definitely felt like some of the plots were supposed to be fleshed out more or like storylines would have carried on into a season 3 and billy not being fucked up enough is SO FUCKING REAL. like frank literally BRUTALISED him but he comes out looking okay?? like idk?? it just doesn't look convincing i feel like ben barnes' acting is good and he plays the subtle psycho (though you're right, him being more outwardly bloodthirsty and vengeful would have been AMAZING) but the visuals don't hit right. but this is such a wider issue with pretty actors in hollywood?? especially cause they also did it when he played the darkling in shadow and bone. i dunno if you ever watched shadow and bone but like his character should have been way more scarred but they just didn't make it as brutal as it probably would have been in reality and it makes me so mad because i just don't understand why??

AND THE WILL THING, LITERALLY, WHEN HE FIRST CAME ON SCREEN, I LOOKED AT HIM AND WAS LIKE 'is that?? is that WILLIAM LAMONTAGUE??' and then everytime he came on and was being psycho, i was like 'someone get jj to sort her husband out' and also this is so DUMB but i love to think that this is what will was doing during criminal minds and that's why we never see him, he was just off being pilgrim and terrorising frank, obviously it doesn't really work timeline wise BUT the thought of it just makes me laugh so it is now my headcanon.

I HAVE FOUND ANOTHER MADANI LOVER. that makes me so BEYOND ECSTATIC. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME. karen is literally a stronger woman than i could ever be. both with madani and tbh with frank, i dunno how she doesn't crumble in front of either of them. like i wish i had karen's strength. but like yeah if madani even LOOKED at me, i would be spilling all of my goddamn secrets. i'm so glad i'm not the only one who sees the lack of love (i may end up trying to fix that with some fics hehe)! i am such a whore for her, it's actually insane. like the past few days since i finished watching it, she has been on my mind 24/7, what i would let her do to me is EMBARASSING. i love that woman so much and i'm so glad i'm not alone.

i'm done ranting for now but i cannot promise i won't ramble in your inbox again. i truly have punisher brainrot (and criminal minds brainrot too but that's not important right now)

thank you for reading my ramblings again <3

welcome back nonnie!

totally up to you love! if you’re not comfy coming off anon & wanna give yourself a lil nickname, that’s totally fine with me :)

don’t even worry about how long you’ve been in the fandom, that doesn’t matter. you’re here & your opinions & feelings are just as valid as everyone else’s. to your point about big strong men with questionable morals: yes

I haven’t watched shadow & bone but I have seen ben’s character in that role and maybe he’s the problem like maybe they try to make him look bad & it’s just impossible bc it’s ben barnes 🤷🏻‍♀️

LMAO pls that would be so funny. hey will what have you been up to lately? oh nothing just terrorizing the punisher in new york no biggie

karen is a strong woman bc the second frank or madani looked at me like that i’d fold & be like yeah literally anything you want I will give you. if you do end up writing any madani fics pls send them my way! i’ll get around to writing for her eventually. it’s been hard for me to focus on writing anything other than bodyguard frankie bc that’s my baby

I don’t ever not have punisher or criminal minds brainrot so pls feel free to rant with me anytime <3

[xycuro-illuminati]

okay i have to bite so what’s your issues w zdarskys daredevil run??? because honestly i thought it was ehhhhh and felt like he was more into the show than the previous set up comics canon & also whatever he did with elektra was shit but i don’t know what he did to warrant the genuine hatred you seem to have of him?????? and i’m actually curious i’ve searched zdarsky on your blog and read most of the posts but i’m still not like. 100% sure?????

I've had an anon ask me basically this same question so I'll just link the answer I had earlier for a speedrun 'Anti Chip Zdarsky' is a tag I have on my blog of me talking about why I hate the run and also reblogging posts from my mutuals since we all share the same hatred and disdain for it. The TL;DR is that Zdarsky is a lazy writer that tried to be creative with DD only to take aspects of the netflix show (that I hate) and would bring back storylines from previous runs only to rehash them to be worse than than the og while taking the worse aspects of them and turning it up to 11, ableism, sexual assault, white-washing/racism, you name it, it's all there. He writes no different than any m/cu dd fan that never watched the show and would write terrible ableist fanfics with only fanon knowledge. He is one of the writers that set the unfortunate character trait of Matt being some yapping catholic with a crusader colonizer complex and it was just overall bad writing. Elektra was not the only one that got dealt with shit writing, Kirsten got it too. And basically everyone else. Unfortunately, this run is praised by people on twitter so it feels like ranting to a bunch of brick walls, but a lot of dd comic fans here have the same hatred for zdarsky and his run as I do.

[featherlight-touches]

Hold still

“O, I’m not tellin’ yuh again,” Lifeline impatiently demands, lowering her pen. “Hold still.”

The daredevil known as Octane, was very fidgety, his leg bouncing up and down with eagerness to get going. Much to the annoyance of his lifelong friend, Ajay – who was trying to draw a pattern on his skin. 

“Can’t you hurry it up, Chica?” He groaned, checking the arm which she was working on. “This is so boring!”

“Yuh want this to look good, don’tcha?” She brought her hands to her hips, brow raised towards him. After all, this was his idea in the first place. He wanted a funky pattern drawn into their skin to go along with their new outfits.

If not for his mask and goggles, she would be able to see the pout on his face as he nodded in response. “Then stop yuh complainin’ and hold still, boy!”

Octane mocked her sentence by repeating it childishly. He then pulled out his phone to keep himself distracted from the boredom of having to wait for Ajay to finish her artwork.

A few minutes went by, and Octavio was still as impatient as ever for the duration of that time. Finally, Ajay was finally finished with his arm.

“Hey, not bad, Chica!” He checked out the artwork by holding out his arm in front of himself, turning it around to get a better view of the patterns she had drawn. Ajay was quite satisfied with it, herself. “This looks awesome! I wonder if anyone has come up with this idea- Even so, I bet it won’t look as good as this, Che!“

He began to rant on, and Lifeline gave a small roll of her eyes, amused by his compliments but also targeting her next spot of art – which happened to be his revealed midriff. She had completely tuned out his rambling and leaned down before him, pressing the pen directly onto his abs and beginning to draw.

“-AYE!” He startled, jumping back a step which startled Ajay as well.

“Now what’s wrong with yuh?” She questioned; her head tilted in confusion.

“You could have warned me you were drawing there, amiga!” His hand gently rubbed at the spot. “Dios mío...”

He was then met with a frown from the medic, who did not see what the big deal was with drawing in a spot before telling him. She drew everywhere else just fine, albeit the fidgeting and complaining about taking too long.

Octavio could see the confusion within her frown and sighed. “It’s ticklish!”

“Oh,” Ajay replied. Of course, how could she have forgotten that Octavio was quite sensitive. Memories suddenly flooded her head of when they were younger, they always engaged in tickle fights. She always won, of course, because he was far more ticklish that her. “I’ll try and be more careful then.”

She resumed her position in front of him and went back to drawing, but as soon as the pen drew one line onto his abs, he jumped away again. “O!”

“Lo siento!” he breathed out a laugh and tried to compose himself. “Okay, I’m ready!” Ajay didn’t even make it to bring the pen to his skin before he broke down into nervous giggles. “Wait, wait-“

“Silva, I swear-“

“I can’t help it!” he countered, throwing his arms up into the air. “Maybe we can forget this area?”

“Or maybe,” Ajay stood up, her eyes piercing into his goggles which struck fear into Octane’s body. He knew he was in danger. “Yuh shut up and hold still!” She lunged at him, tackling him back onto the ground so that he was on his back and Ajay lay on top. Limbs were thrashing from both, one set trying to get away while the other trying to keep them steady on the ground.

“Estas loca!” Octavio cried, desperately trying to escape her grasp but Ajay was having none of it. She kept him pinned under her body and brought the pen to his abs once more to resume drawing. This unleashed a wave of giggles from the daredevil. “Hehehehe! Stop!”

“Yuh bugged me all day to do this! Yuh gettin’ this done, Silva!” Ajay stubbornly responded, not letting him get away with the annoyances he caused her all day.

“I don’t want it!” He said through his giggles, trying to grab the pen from her grasp but found both his hands suddenly pinned to his chest. She was surprisingly strong, and the giggling was distracting him from using his full strength against her. “Come on!”

His giggles amused Ajay, which was mainly the reason she wanted to keep going. It was good revenge and she wanted to milk every moment she could.

“Almost done,” she teased.

It was a lie; she wasn’t nearly done. When she was done with the drawing, she would then switch to using her fingers and really give him something to laugh about. But she kept that to herself until she was ready to strike and left a giggling Octane completely unaware of what was to come.

tbc .... 

[antique-traveler]

snips and snails

alright this gave me way more trouble than i thought it would but here's the tdov ficlet that @shen-hongzi-backup requested! (of course the trek episode they're watching is s5e17 "The Outcast", what else would it be?) also this blog believes in he/him foggy x he/they matt supremacy

Something something Matt being wholesome to Foggy about their dysphoria. Bonus if Matt is nonbinary because what the heck is gender i can't see it anyway

1.5k, G, mattfoggy (ftm!foggy, nonbinary!matt) on ao3

“New guy at the barbershop today was an asshole. I’m gonna call it an early night. Love you.” The text-to-speech voice from Matt’s phone was robotic and clinical as it read Foggy’s text from across the room. Matt paused, halfway into his Daredevil suit, and strode over to his bed to pick up his phone.

“Call Foggy,” he said, setting down his gloves and furrowing his brow.

“Hey, Matty,” Foggy’s voice through the receiver was timid and dejected, obviously not in the mood for any kind of bright greeting.

“Hey, I got your text,” Matt said cautiously. “What happened?”

Foggy sighed and the sound of creaking leather clued Matt in that Foggy had just fallen onto his leather armchair. “I went in for a haircut today, I just needed to trim off some split ends and shit, but there was a barber there I hadn’t seen before. Some old guy who looked like he used to give guys buzz cuts before they shipped off to Vietnam. Anyway, he went on this whole rant about how my hair was ‘too girly’ and ‘made my face look so feminine’. He ended up cutting, like, two inches off my hair and it just… the whole thing sucks and I just wanna forget it happened.”

Matt swallowed and curled his free hand into a fist “Shit, Fogs, I’m sorry that happened. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” Foggy said, trailing off slightly. “Feel pretty shitty at the moment, but I probably just need to sleep it off, you know?” There was a heavy silence between them before Foggy continued, “You going out tonight?”

Matt bit his lip and thought for a moment. Focusing his senses, he could hear the entire neighborhood. The Kitchen was quiet tonight, peaceful. Across the street, a baby just said his first word, a few blocks away, a woman just proposed to her girlfriend, and further than that, someone just made it through the piano piece they were learning without making a single mistake. Daredevil could take a night off, he needed to be with Foggy tonight. Matt cleared his throat, “No, no, the city’s pretty quiet tonight. How about I come over? We can put on some Trek and order a pizza.”

“Matty, you don’t have to–”

“Fogs, I want to. You had a bad day, and I wanna be here for you. Isn’t that, like, the whole point of being your boyfriend?” Matt felt childish to admit it even to himself, but saying the word “boyfriend” still gave him butterflies sometimes, even after however many months he and Foggy had been together.

Foggy’s sigh had a little bit of a laugh in it, and Matt knew he had won. “You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Murdock. You want Deep Space 9 or The Next Generation?”

“Dealer’s choice,” Matt said, starting to unzip the Daredevil suit. “See you in five. I love you.”

“Love you, too,” Foggy echoed, before hanging up the phone with a click.

Matt had known that Foggy was transgender since a few days after they met. He’d bumped into the sharps container for the needles that Foggy used for his testosterone injections, and Foggy had laid it all out for him the second Matt asked about it. He had been matter-of-fact, clinical in describing it at first, as if the slightest emotion in his voice might send Matt on a bigoted tirade. He supposed that Foggy had been justified in his wariness of how Matt might react, Matt would be the first to admit he’d led a pretty sheltered life in some regards, and he didn’t think he’d ever consciously met another transgender person before Foggy. All that being said, though, Matt still read the news. He still knew what it meant to be transgender, and he wasn’t about to ask for a room change just because he’s roommate’s body was a little different than his.

Since then, Matt had been through it all with Foggy. He stood up to relatives who still called Foggy “she” at Christmas, he taught him how to shave, he stayed with Foggy through his entire recovery after his top surgery. It had been amazing, watching Foggy slowly become more and more himself with each year they shared together. Foggy’s face still heated up whenever Matt called him his boyfriend, and Matt loved the feeling of Foggy’s perfect parallel scars beneath his fingers.

Matt knocked on Foggy’s door with his left hand, while his right held his cane and a sweatshirt of his for Foggy to borrow. Foggy always loved wearing Matt’s clothes, especially when he was in a bad mood, so Matt figured he’d just go ahead and bring something with him before Foggy got a chance to steal the shirt off his back.

Foggy quietly opened the door and Matt flashed him a sympathetic smile. “Hey, handsome,” he said, leaning in for a quick kiss.

Foggy chuckled lightly as he let Matt in, “You know, that might’ve cheered me up a little if you could actually see me.”

“I’m pretty sure it did cheer you up, actually,” Matt said, noting the slightest acceleration in Foggy’s heartbeat.

Foggy scoffed, “Yeah, yeah, heartbeat bullshit, whatever. You go sit down, I’m gonna get a pizza.”

Before turning towards the couch, Matt extended the sweatshirt in his hand towards Foggy. “Here,” he said, “for you.”

Foggy took it from Matt’s hand and was quiet for a second before letting out a small “thank you.” Matt leaned forward for another light kiss, then folded up his cane and made himself comfortable on the couch.

The next half hour was slow and easy. Foggy was tucked into Matt’s side wrapped in his sweatshirt, and the heavy weight of the pizza in Matt’s stomach combined with the quiet dialogue of the Star Trek episode on Foggy’s TV made him feel lethargic and content.

“You are male,” said one of the aliens on the screen. “Tell me about males. What is it that makes you different from females?”

Foggy hummed contentedly from below Matt’s chin. They’d rewatched this show so many times that Matt practically had all of Foggy’s narrations memorized, so Matt had just told him to take it easy tonight and not worry about narrating. Matt chewed on his lip and let himself get lost in thought. A couple of months prior, Foggy had managed to convince Matt to go to Pride, after weeks of hounding and bargaining and pleading. They had gone early in the morning, when there were sure to be thinner crowds and at least slightly less noise. Foggy had been shirtless, proudly showing off his top surgery scars, and Matt had a single rubber bracelet around his wrist in pink, purple, and blue.

They had met so many people there from every corner of the community, and Matt had left with a small collection of every braille pamphlet he came across, just to show the people who had bothered to print them that it was worth it. Among the pamphlets on intersectionality and drag history and lesbian art, there was one that Matt found himself rereading for weeks: Beyond Ones and Zeros: Decoding the Myth of the Gender Binary. It was overly verbose and used objectively too many coding puns, but Matt couldn’t stop thinking about it. He’d always known to some extent that he had trouble connecting with other men most of the time. He found that he just… didn’t quite understand how they operated. Sure, he’d never been particularly interested in sports or cars, but he also didn’t understand what put him in the category of “man”, beyond his chromosomes and whatnot.

Meeting Foggy had been what clued him in to that disconnect, but that pamphlet had been what really sent him spiraling. It talked about the origins of the modern day gender binary, its fallacies and double standards, the existence of life outside of just “man” or “woman”, and Matt felt himself relax a little bit into its words. Matt felt Foggy’s weight next to him on the couch, and heard the crew of the Enterprise discuss the genderless society they were working with, and made a decision.

“Hey, Foggy?” he said, squeezing Foggy’s arm a little bit to get his attention. Foggy made a quizzical little noise and Matt took a deep breath. “What would you think about using they/them pronouns for me, just sometimes?”

There was silence for a moment before Foggy shifted to look at Matt, and the sound of lips sliding against his teeth said that he was smiling brightly. “I’d love to, Matty. Thank you for telling me.”

Matt shrugged. “I haven’t really told you anything,” they deflected. “Just trying something out.” Their heart was pounding in their chest, and they knew that they were blushing, but they couldn’t quite find it in themself to be embarrassed.

“Well,” Foggy countered, “thank you for ‘trying it out’, then. I’m proud of you.”

Matt smiled, warmth filling their whole body, and they leaned in for a kiss. Foggy met them with a smile, cradling Matt’s head in his hands and humming into their mouth. If this was what it took to make Foggy feel better, then Matt was willing to do it every damn time they came over.

[ceterisparibus116]

How would you fix The Defenders? My ideas are A) some acknowledgement that Matt and Claire know each other 🙄 and B) Foggy, Karen, Malcolm and Trish participated somehow in the finale at Midland Circle rather than be stuck back at the precinct. 🤔

The Defenders. Ugh.

Tbh I’m gonna scrap, like, all of it. Matt and Elektra’s dynamic is powerful and hypnotizing but EVERYTHING ELSE is just…bleh, imo.

Long post, guys. This is me just ranting because it could've been SO GOOD but instead—

Like first off, why is the villain the Hand? Not only is there gross racism with everything Hand-related, but why are you forcing Jess and Luke to deal with mysterious ninja stuff? Like okay it’s kinda funny the first couple times Jess jokes about ninjas and karate and all that, but it’s not THAT funny. Plus, her jokes about how absurd it is don’t feel genuine; it feels like the writers awkwardly going, “Yeah, we know it’s ridiculous.” PLUS, her jokes actually break the immersion because we, the audience, agree with her that it’s weird! Jokes about the plot where your audience agrees with the joke just makes the plot feel like a joke! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.

Sorry, I’m fine.

Anyway, Jessica’s humor is one of the only pros to the Hand storyline. The other pro is Matt and Elektra, and Matt and Stick. And as a Daredevil fan, I’m kinda cool with those pros, but dang, that’s pretty unfair to the other characters, isn’t it?

And the cons. The cons are severe.

Suspension of disbelief. I’m sorry, no, I don’t believe there are dragons under New York City.

Related: the worldbuilding? Broken. Why would you take a city as interesting as New York and make it a backdrop for ninjas?

Stakes? Gone. The Hand isn’t scary! What do they even do? They can’t kill any of our main four heroes, they can’t kill any of our heroes’ friends…they just cause an earthquake and kidnap Danny and chop of Misty’s arm and that’s it. And I knew from the beginning that they wouldn’t do anything more than that because no way would an impactful character be killed off in a spinoff series. (Elektra doesn’t count. She’s definitely not dead.)

Rising action? Ugh. Okay we gotta kidnap Danny from faceless and fairly incompetent ninjas and surprise surprise, it goes off without a hitch except for Matt’s self-sacrificing love for Elektra which is a *Matt* thing and no thanks at all to the Hand actually being effective villains.

Climax’s relation to the characters’ individual arcs? Nonexistent – again, except for Matt.

Space to actually explore characters? Reduced. We kept having to check in with Alexandra who, I’m sorry, was just really boring, and Elektra got a cool little character arc I guess but when you already have to balance four leads in a single show, that’s NOT the time to also try to flesh out TWO BAD GUYS because then we just don’t have enough time to get to know any of the characters with nuance. I would’ve rather had one single scene of Matt and Claire interacting than all the scenes of Alexandra looking pensively at pill bottles and contemplating her own mortality or whatever she was doing.

Adlksfjdklwe.

No, I will not be taking constructive criticism. The Hand storyline was just awful.

What Defenders should’ve been was about crime. Some crime boss like Matt's or Luke's villains, but who does NOT need to be complex or developed as a character; in a series like Defenders, give me a two-dimensional villain that actually HURTS PEOPLE and DOES STUFF). That way we get to have real stakes and we get real people getting hurt and needing to be saved from an actual and present threat and we get New York being, like, a character in its own right, and we get to really explore stuff like Luke’s efforts to protect young poor Black kids and Danny trying to adapt to modern life, and Jessica could spend less time rolling her eyes at the LITERAL PLOT and more time rolling her eyes at Danny. Plus, we get the humor of Danny trying to be all mystical in a world that’s decidedly NOT (way funnier and less immersion-breaking than Jessica trying to deal with a world that’s objectively crazy).

AND! We’d get to save the gut-wrenching stuff with Stick and Elektra for a season of Daredevil where it can actually be thoroughly explored. And there’s no reason Matt couldn’t still make some self-sacrificing/suicidal choice at the end that sets up Season 3 the same as before, but this time it wouldn’t have to involve somehow-escaping-from-a-collapsed-building-while-unconscious which ????

AND! The side characters could actually be involved without being immediately and obviously overpowered! Trish and Karen could’ve teamed up to dig up dirt on the bad guy and Matt and Foggy could’ve done some lawyerly things together to protect the people being hurt by the crime boss and Malcolm could’ve talked to Danny because I just think those two would be hilarious together. And Claire could’ve healed Matt when he got hurt in a fight at the halfway point and it would’ve been painful and sweet and awkward and—and we would’ve had time for it because the show could’ve focused on the main characters instead of skipping back and forth between them and the villain.

Anyway. That’s how I would’ve rewritten Defenders.

[yelenasdog]

talk to me? (spencer reid x fem reader)

genre: fluff 

summary: cold nights and warm coffee can be so compelling.

words: 2.2k 

warnings: mentions of having intrusive thoughts and spence being insecure, reader and spencer sleeping in the same bed. that’s all i can think of, lmk if there’s anything else!

a/n: yo! so uhhh i kinda love the start of this and dislike the end of it, but idk i think it’s still pretty snazzy!! also SPENCER IN GLASSES HAS MY HEART ok bye enjoy!!

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

It was the type of cold where no matter how brightly the sun was shining, you could still feel the fresh molecules of coolness linger on your skin, hiding under the tip of your nose. It made horribly irritable little dry patches that would have to be remedied with some form of lotion, but that wouldn’t quite return back to complete normal until the end of the winter time.

But despite this, Y/n and Spencer were out and about, doing their jobs in total normalcy.

Minus being stationed in France, that is.

Although it was rare that the BAU was called overseas, Emily had needed the team’s help, and who would they be to decline a trip to the beautiful France, no less to see Prentiss as well.

So after a grueling day of blood and bad-guys, the pair made their way back to their Parisian hotel room, walking (quite wobbily, Y/n would add) along the cobblestone walkways, both of their boots clicking loudly against the rain coated stones.

It was ironic, as Spencer had attempted to wear his converse, but was denied by a worried Y/n, hearing her say “You’re going to get those things soaked, and you’ll freeze your toes right off, Dr. Reid!”

And as not to disappoint the girl, never wanting to see her mood turn as gloomy as the French sky, he complied begrudgingly. Though Y/n could swear she always saw a hint of a smile at her telling off.

Spencer was also advised by her to wear his contacts, to avoid the fogging up of his readers, but he refused, not wanting to bother with said contacts. He grew to regret that as he walked, every so often and reaching a large hand up to wipe his glasses, almost like the wind shield wipers of the bug that had been driving them around.

He chuckled at the not so distant away memories, thankful for the girl and her requests, as it turned out.

The hotel was far different from the usual dingy motels the team usually occupied when traveling, that was for certain. This one happened to be a master suite with ivory walls and silky sheets, quite opposite from the thin and scratchy yellowed covers they usually made do with.

And even though It was early in the day, the mixture of odd sleep schedules and just the heavy weight of sleepiness pressing down heavily on their shoulders, they opted to go to bed at the oh-so late time of 1:37 PM.

Daredevils, those two are.

Ignoring the first bed by the door, Spencer made a beeline for the plush queen size mattress he knew Y/n and himself would be sharing in an effort to cuddle up for warmth, sinking down into it. (After removing his shoes, of course.)

He was originally donned in just a grey Caltech shirt and some blue pajama pants, but due to the chillier weather (that he couldn’t quite seem to shake despite the thermostat in the hotel room being turned up to 76) he layered on a maroon MIT hoodie, one that he was aware Y/n would try to thieve from him, perhaps even sneaking it back in her own suitcase.

Y/n walked out of the bathroom in pale green shorts and a large and worn Led Zeppelin shirt, earning a very confused stare from Spencer. She simply shook her head and continued on her way over to the large window that was currently projected bright streams of melted gold through the glass, that would have been heated if it wasn’t for that damn cold.

“I get warm when I sleep, it bothers me.”

He nodded, watching intently as she opened and shut the blinds a few times, soft krrrrs and clicks sounding through the room as she did.

“You doing alright?” He asked, his eyeline never faltering. She turned and he picked up his copy of “A Farewell To Arms,” something she had been the one to reccomend to him, ranting on and on about Ernest Hemingway and his precious 6 toed cats. 

It was one of Spencer’s more realistic goals in life to take Y/n back to Key West to visit the Hemingway House, after her having said a childhood trip there was one of her happiest memories.

He quickly flipped to a random page, not wanting her to catch him being what he considered to be creepy, even though Y/n thought it was quite adorable.

She bit back a giggle and a smile, settling on leaving the window half open half closed. She padded over to where Spencer was, laying back onto what she imagined a cloud would feel like.

She reached over, taking the blue colored book from his hands and his thickly rimmed glasses off from where they were resting on his perfect button nose. 

She smiled to herself fondly at the items in her hands, particularly at the novel. She placed them on her bedside table (why hers and not his, Reid wasn’t too sure, but also was not going to complain), and then moved to slide between the slick tightly-tucked sheets.

“Our options were A, not be able to sleep because of Mr. Sun being out right now, or you freezing to death because Mr. Sun was blocked totally by the curtains.”

He looked over at where she had been messing around with the heavy drapes.

“I see you went in between.”

She smiled graciously, which Spencer returned immediately.

“That I did.”

A few more awkward moments of silence (not including the occasional yelling and honking from those riding on motorbikes below) passed, before she finally settled into the sheets.

She turned to the side table to her left and tugged on the chain of the old timey lamp. The room went quiet, but the pair’s minds were anything but.

Y/n’s head was swimming in intrusive thoughts, while Spencer’s was a hazy cloud of self deprecations and his own voice keeping him awake, staring at the painted ceiling.

“Spence?”

“Mmhm?”

“Can you talk to me?”

Spencer’s brows furrowed. He shifted around in the creme sheets of the bed, finding a cold spot quite quickly.

“What do you want me to say?”

Silence.

“Anything.”

She turned over to now be facing the lanky boy, their noses nearly touching. She held her breath, sucking in a bottom lip.

He looked to her eyes, to her lips, and back to her eyes again, quickly gathering a list of things to ramble about.

“Well,” he began, “Paris was originally founded in the 3rd century BC, and was a Roman city called Lutetia, and to prove it, there’s even remains of Roman ruins in the capital. And speaking of monuments, in total, there are 1,803 of them, and 173 museums in Paris alone- Y/n?”

To his surprise, Y/n’’s idea had worked. Spencer looked over to see a sleeping Y/n, a peaceful expression resting upon her features.

He smiled at the idea that he had played some role in that, closing his own eyes. The cloud that was previously keeping him from long awaited slumber was now a light film, nagging at the back of his head quietly. 

He simply told the voice to quiet down and was then able to lull himself to sleep, Y/n’s presence calming him to no end.

It wasn’t until 8 hours later that they had woken up, first Spencer, followed by Y/n. She peeked open her eyes, pleasantly surprised by the lack of light shining through the curtains. 

She wiggled around, stretching from her neck down to her toes. Spencer smiled at this, finding her resemblance to a cat who had been sunnapping, quite endearing.

She moved to her side, placing a hand under her chin to get a better look at the Doctor who was nearly finished reading her copy of “A Farewell to Arms”.

“Did you at least mark my spot?” She asked, voice raspy from sleep.

He scoffed, flipping to and then showing her the bookmarked page of the story.

“What do you think I am, a monster?”

She chuckled, sitting up next to Spencer.

“I mean, I don’t know, sometimes it seems like it”.

He rolled his eyes, setting down the read and hopping out of bed.

“What are you doing, Spence?” She asked, not amused in the slightest by the idea of having to get out of bed.

“We are going to get coffee.”

She shook her head of messy hair, the wispy bits flowing around her like a halo in the hotel room lighting.

“You can go get us coffee and bring it right back over here, alright? Thanks, you’re a doll.”

He did that thin lipped smile that seems to be his equivalent of a smirk, grabbing a hoodie from the inside of his suitcase that was perched on top of a dresser.

“Come on, we’re going on an adventure. Use this and the idea of coffee as an incentive.”

He tossed her the hoodie, the jacket landing by her feet with an audible plop.

She loudly groaned, shrugging it on and pulling herself out of bed. She also managed to tug on some jeans and an overcoat, as well as her boots, shaking her head at Spencer’s lack of preparation for the cold temperatures, as always. 

“Spencer, I am not about to go to this and have you complain about being cold the whole time, put on your coat, please.” She gestured to where it was hanging in the closet with her hand still concealed by her trench coat’s pocket, her eyes shutting and her head lolling to the side.

“If you insist.”

“Yes I do, put it on, lets go.” She said drawing out the “o”.

Spencer’s eyes widened and he lifted his hands in mock surrender. “My apologies, good morning to you too.”

She only rolled her eyes and smiled, opening the door to the room and leading the way.

By the time she had found a coffee shop on Yelp that she had deemed satisfactory, (which was extremely difficult due to the language barrier) the time had passed even later, and the temperature was even lower.

The lights on the streets sparkled, reflecting in the puddles of the water that lined the asphalt. Y/n was quite enchanted by the little light shows, slowing the journey to the shop significantly. Spencer didn’t mind, though, he enjoyed every second he got to spend with her to the absolute fullest, and found her fascination with every part of life inspiring.

When they finally reached the quaint little coffee shop, they walked inside, finding refuge in the warmth of the establishment.

Spencer ordered for them, and Y/n found a table (as that’s what they always did, taking turns between ordering and scouting a place to sit).

She located a cozy little corner by a window, a perfect place to observe those who bustled about at night, watching them and coming up with back stories, whatever they may be.

She enjoyed doing that, it made her believe she had a better understanding of the world around her, why those she works on catching every day behave in the manner they do.

And what better place to do so than Paris?

So she flagged Reid (who now was in possession of the two drinks) over, taking hers from his hand. 

“Latte with two creams and 4 sugars for the lady.”

She smiled graciously, allowing the heat of the cup to spread through her system.

“And what did you get? Let me guess, a shot of espresso with 12 sugars?”

Spencer rolled his eyes, not wanting to admit she was more correct than he had hoped.

“Ha ha, very funny, Y/n.”

She smiled over her small mug, quirking a brow.

“Oh, I know.”

He shook his head and glanced out the window with a low chuckle, watching as people from all walks of life went about their business, some with dogs, some with children, some of them even walking along with a cup of coffee in their hands, similarly to Spencer and Y/n. Some of them, in fact, had all three.

As the two sat observing, sipping away at their respective concoctions, Y/n spoke up, her voice soft, although considering they were the only two in the shop, it didn’t need to be.

“Spence?”

“Hmm?”

Only then did she tear her glance away from those on the street, her full focus now on Reid. She admired his bone structure, in awe over the way the soft light reflected off his strong jaw and high cheeks. At that moment, he looked like he belonged in the Louvre.

“Thank you.”

“What for?” He finally looked towards her, his hand never moving from where it was positioned under his chin.

She simply shrugged, wrapping her coat tighter around herself.

He darted his eyes to the table and then her eyes, taking a deep breath. “Well, you’re welcome, I guess.”

She smiled and nodded at once, satisfied with his response.

While she looked out the window once more, she began to wonder about those around her. If they felt the same strong emotions that she did, if they held the same hope and desire for the future that she did.

And as she took another sip from her drink, closing her eyes and slowly was drifting off with the sounds of the city, she could only hope that they did.

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

i hope u enjoyed that bc i feel like the imagery in the first paragraph was immaculate 😁 also! i ask that in the reblogs no cussing (and on my blog now in general) is used for personal reasons :) kk luv u bye bb! go take an electronics break and drink some water+ eat some protien (cashews, cheese, whatever ur feeling!)

xx hj 

[suckerforsaikik]

what if,,, i spent several hours redesigning the winx characters,,, and i had exams in less than two days?

me ranting about my ideas for winx club under the cut:

I decided to challenge myself a bit with these designs, so instead of making them completely self indulgent, I wanted to make them something I could imagine being animated in the show/in a reboot. I also wanted to make a style that could be used for a show that wouldn’t kill my eyes and make them look like 16 year olds (though idk how much it looks like something that could be animated)

these are still their basic winx forms, so if it were a show the designs would get more complex as they went on.

Okay now for each of the characters!

Bloom:

she’s a dumbass. I was rewatching the show and she’s an idiot there so she’s a dumbass here too. She’s also a huge daredevil, and is, of course, naive about the fairy world. As they achieve more fairy forms, she’d get a bigger/thicker tail and maybe some dragon-y features? I want claws for her.

Stella:

she’s a perfectionist to a T and is really bratty I love her. She and Bloom are also gay and in love. I’ve completely ignored the specialists, idc about them.

Tecna:

She’s very punk, bad at talking to people, and every time she transforms half of her head is shaved off. I haven’t posted her civilian form, but maybe I will soon? Her wings are made by her, and are the only physical wings of the winx (everyone else’s wings are made of magic). She’s gay and in love with musa because they’re both my favourites.  She’s also half white half asian because i want her to be 

Musa:

She’s super spunky and is probably DJs at some point. I wanted to add headphones but I made them earbuds for now. I was thinking she’d be sensitive to sound so she’d have to wear earplugs/noise cancelling headphones sometimes? I’m going to add it to her civilian form

Flora:

she’s clumsy and shy as hell. Also, I tried to add in some subtle goat looking eyes! her wings are paper thin in width just because I thought it’d be cool, and I wanted her to be the second tallest (behind bloom) but it didn’t work out that way.

I was going to do Aisha but I got impatient so maybe you’ll see her later! all I know for sure about her design is that I want her to wear knee pads and elbow pads.

Now for some general worldbuilding things i thought up:

after seeing literally every girl in the show wear a crop top, i took it as inspiration to mean that crop tops are considered very regal attire, regardless of gender. think bow from she-ra. queens and kings, regular citizens, even the royal guards wear crop tops. 

also, all the schools are now co-ed. boys can be fairies too. I feel like Aisha would attend both specialist and fairy classes. Also when i get to drawing the specialist outfits I’m going to make them much cooler than canon.

i feel like after enchantix, the designs would become less ‘continuously becoming more and more bedazzled’ and instead try to represent the vibe of the transformation. i think they did this at some point for an ocean design? i never watched that far.

[madeofhellfire]

⚠️‼️ CAUTION: NO WAY HOME SPOILERS ‼️⚠️

This is the rant post I’ve been talking about..

1. It makes me so so sad that Peter is completely and utterly alone… the little scene at the end of him in the tiny apartment.. I can’t 😭

2. THE GED BOOK! If you aren’t from the states and don’t know what a GED is, it’s a High School equivalency diploma. Basically what that means for Peter is that because no one knows who he is he couldn’t graduate with his class, or at all. As someone who has a GED, this hit hard.

3. Obviously the big thing, TOBEY AND ANDREW. I am still in complete and utter shock because of this. I’m not even gonna lie I didn’t expect them to be in the movie at all. I guess part of me didn’t want to get my hopes up for it. But that just made it all the more shocking for me. I went in the afternoon so the theater wasn’t packed but it was full, it was just a chorus of gasps and other miscellaneous things, the things I said were “holy shit”, “holy fuck”, “what the shit”, “omg I’m gonna lose my mind”, *points at Andrew* “you’re a liar” and “tony would be losing his mind”

4. Peter losing his Aunt… I just… I was not okay. The way his voice was breaking and what he was saying to her.. and then the S.W.A.T. team and Happy.. He just had to leave her there and I know that’s the last thing he wanted to do… the ���it’s just you and me” parallel-

5. The subtle nod to Miles Morales!! I loved that whole scene with Andrew!Peter and Electro. It was perfectly funny and heartfelt, and of course the little nod to Miles was amazing.

6. The other MJ, Ned and the other 2 Peter’s reactions to Tobey!Peter’s webs coming from him. Honestly hilarious. This movie had so many funny scenes I adore it. Kind of had the same vibe as Ragnarok in that sense.

7. THE MEME!! They did the pointing meme! TWICE!! Iconic moment. Will definitely go down in history.

8. The whole scene when Andrew!Peter and Tobey!Peter shows up- MJ was hilarious, and Ned’s Grandma… I was trying not to die from laughing and complete shock because as I said before I definitely didn’t expect the other two spidermen.

9. Doctor Strange showing up at the end and looking at Peter and screaming “I’ve been in the Grand Canyon for 12 hours!” - had the same vibe as “I’ve been falling for 30 minutes!”.. hehe payback is a bitch, isn’t it?

10. EDDIE AND VENOM!! In the end credit scene! I love that they just spent the entire time drunk in Mexico. I love that Venom didn’t wanna leave and I think that’s probably why he ever so sneakily left a bit of himself.

11. I’m assuming the ending was the trailer for the new Doctor Strange and I’m just !!!!!! I’m wondering if we are gonna get any other multiversal characters.. *cough* Peter Maximoff *cough* I’m literally crossing my fingers.. it’d be better if we got Pietro but listen I’ll take what I can get.

12. MATT MURDOCK! I haven’t seen the Daredevil show, I’m planning to. But I still knew who he was and I was just in shock! So many cameos in this movie it was insane.

13. Does anyone else just wanna punch Flash in the face or is it just me??? Like.. dude. You bully and pick on Peter all through school and now that you know he’s Spider-Man you wanna be his best friend? And worst of all, he wrote a book about being his best friend!! I mean seriously I wanted to punch him more than any of the villains.

14. When Tobey!Peter got in between Tom!Peter and Norman Osborn… and then ended up getting stabbed in the back. Which he took incredibly well, what a champ. I just know he was thinking “I’m getting too old for this shit” the entire time.

15. I’m so happy Tom!Peter managed to cure all of the villains like he wanted to.. even if he had to be forgotten about. I just know he did it for his Aunt May and that just makes me want to sob.

There’s so many more little things in this movie that just make it absolutely phenomenal. It really made me have every single emotion ever. It ripped my heart out, put it back and ripped it out again. It’s a masterpiece. Honestly it’s probably the greatest movie of 2021 and if it doesn’t win every single award I’m gonna riot. Oh and thank you NWH for the new obsession with Andrew Garfield… because I definitely wasn’t already obsessed with enough people 😂

[fillingthescrapbook]

Jupiter's Legacy: To Err is Human, to Bore is a Superpower

Spoiler Alert: I will be getting into a very detailed rant on why I think this is a well-written but ultimately bad show, so if you plan on watching it and don't want to be spoiled, scroll away now. Thanks!

Having seen the entirety of Jupiter's Legacy, I would say this series consists of three different shows fighting for time: the good (the story set in the past, where the first superheroes get their powers), the bad (anything that happens in the present, especially the finale), and the boring (all the stuff that's in between). And that battle for focus spoils the great moments that the show does have.

The biggest problem I have with the show, to be perfectly honest, was that it likes to repeat itself. Scenes from one episode pops up in another through flashback, or through a different perspective, or through echoes. And while it's sometimes a great narrative device, it isn't utilized well in Jupiter's Legacy because of one thing: there's no clear main character in the show to anchor that narrative device to.

Josh Duhamel's "The Utopian" might be front and center in the promos and publicity photos, but his character is more a nuisance and a plot device than anything else. Sure, he's central to the moral conflict of the show--but he's not the one at the crossroads. He's an immovable object that causes the dilemma; he's neither the solution, nor the character who needs to make a choice.

Of all the other characters, the only two that has actual progression are Lady Liberty (Leslie Bibb) and Brainwave (Ben Daniels). Lady Liberty, in the past, is a woman who chases after the truth. In the present, she becomes subservient to the Utopian. And during the show, she (very) slowly regains her agency to think for herself.

Brainwave is presented as a sympathetic character you're supposed to root for. But certain acting and directing choices made throughout the series clearly paints him as a budding antagonist. A much bigger antagonist, it turns out, by the finale episode. But at least his character had a trajectory.

Brandon (Andrew Horton) had more potential in that he was the most affected by the show's thesis of how can good ultimately be effective when it lets evil survive; his character is the one who starts the conflict that propels the show forward. Unfortunately, the show completely forgets about him by Episode 3. By the time the show deigns him important again, in Episode 7, he's had an off-screen epiphany that he needs to follow his father's example. Only for the finale to take that development back again.

Which leads me to another problem I have with Jupiter's Legacy; the story-telling choices it made are... not great. While I stand by my initial statement that the show is well-written (except for the seventh episode), it feels like the episodes are written with no thought of what came before or what comes after.

Like, going back to Brandon's character; the first episode forced him to make a choice: kill the bad guy or let his family die. He chose to kill the bad guy. It's a decision that puts his father, the Utopian, in a bad light because he was the one who made the rule that heroes aren't supposed to kill. Episode 2 is supposed to deal with this fallout, but instead Brandon is sent to a farm while the main story focuses on the Utopian trying to reconnect with his other child: Chloe. A storyline that doesn't even get picked up again in the remaining episodes.

Episode 2 ends with funerals. The parallelism between how the funeral in the past ignites the story forward, while the funeral in the present signals the beginning of an ending is great. The moment Brandon has trying to reach out to the surviving family of one of the dead heroes is spot on. But neither timelines have any impact to the viewers because the characters are seemingly pushed by plot instead of by their traits, leaving the episode like a computer-generated piece of art: beautiful but emotionless.

And instead of continuing Brandon's journey and his relationship with his family, Episode 3 focuses instead on a new character: a petty thief with a super-powered crew. Hutch (Ian Quinlan) is a charismatic enough antihero, but he has no card to play in the game yet. The episode writer weaves in Hutch's story well with flashbacks of who George (Matt Lanter) was; so well that when it's revealed that Hutch is George's son, it doesn't feel out of the blue. Unfortunately, neither Hutch's story nor George's moves the story of the first two episodes forward. Instead, the episode feels unnecessary. Like the two episodes that follow it.

Things only get moving again in Episode 6, the episode that follows Lady Liberty in the past and present. She gets a great scene with new hero Ghost Beam (Kara Royster) who needlessly dies because she upholds the Utopian's code--but the whole episode only feels necessary because we've wasted so much time on non-essential character-building that the show needed to remind the viewers of what the show's main premise was. And by this time, the show has already lost all its momentum, and outside of Lady Liberty and Brainwave, no other characters has developed enough to make us want to root for the good guys to win.

This is Episode 6. The season only has eight episodes. Why did the show waste so much time?

Meanwhile the story being told in the flashbacks are being allowed room to breathe. Too much room, to be perfectly honest. While I get that they allow for great parallels in the individual episode, the actual decision to make them play out throughout the season instead of grounding them to just one episode feels like it was made for style rather than substance.

I mean, I know that Matt Lanter is a charming actor who needs to be in all the episodes--but how about writing him a better character that appears both in the past and present? Instead of just prolonging his screen time by stretching the flashbacks so much they felt like they had their own show?

And don't even get me started on the way they treated their characters of color. What was the point of diversifying your cast if you were just going to shortchange them anyway? Fitz (Mike Wade) had a great characterization in the flashbacks, but he just existed in the present timeline. His daughter Petra (Tenika Davis) would've been a great foil--and maybe love interest--for Brandon, but she too was underutilized. Anna Akana's Raikou was wasted, and the end they gave for her character was bordering on criminal. And I could go on and on, but I wouldn't. Because I'm tired and I already spent way too much energy on this show.

Steven Deknight did such a great job when he was the showrunner for Daredevil's first season on Netflix. I don't understand how he went from that to this: a show that talks a lot but says nothing. Beautiful but emotionless.

[daresplaining]

A Few Thoughts About the Current Run

    I feel like I ought to say a few things about my feelings on Zdarsky’s run, as of right now (August 2020, pre-Annual-- that may be important). I haven’t said much about this run, and I should admit that I actually stopped reading it for a while. At a certain point, I realized I was dreading the release of each preview, and took that as a sign that maybe I should take a break and just re-read some back issues instead. This is, above all, supposed to be fun; I never, ever want reading DD to feel like a chore.  

    That said, I am now caught up and feel ready to begin untangling exactly why this run is so distasteful to me. I’ve been fortunate to have other DD fans to chat with about this, which has helped me to pinpoint what my problems are... because on paper, this run seems like something I’d enjoy. Matt accidentally kills a guy; that’s always fun. Marco Checchetto is great. The story explores Daredevil’s relationship with the citizens of Hell’s Kitchen, which I love. Foggy helps Matt with an action-y Daredevil thing; that’s awesome. There are some very cool fights. Elektra is in it. Stilt-Man is (briefly) in it. It has all the trappings of an interesting narrative. But there is a giant hole in the middle of this run, and that hole is Matt Murdock-shaped and impossible to ignore.     

    I read Daredevil comics for a lot of things (anyone who’s been following me for the past few years might think I read Daredevil comics for Mike Murdock, and you may have a point there) but first and foremost, I read them for Matt. There is a lot that makes a good DD story great-- historically, the comic has featured great supporting casts, and that’s another problem with this run that I’ll get back to in a minute-- but Matt is always the anchor. One of the greatest strengths in Daredevil comes from the fact that the protagonist is such a compelling character. You are interested in what he’s doing. You want to follow his story. You enjoy being inside his head. I’m not saying that you can’t write a good Matt-free Daredevil story-- you definitely can. But if Matt is present and written poorly, the whole story will collapse around him, and that’s been my experience with Zdarsky’s run. Part of the reason I’ve taken so long to write this post is because I’ve been trying to figure out if my complaint comes from my own personal taste-- which is not a basis on which I can critique this comic-- or whether the problem is inherent in the work itself. Having discussed it with other people, I feel comfortable saying that I think the problem is in the writing. 

    Zdarsky’s Matt feels profoundly unfamiliar to me, and that in itself isn’t necessarily a problem, but I don’t find this new version of my favorite superhero interesting. I actually find him a little repellant. If this run had been my introduction to Daredevil, I would’ve said “Nope” and read something else. Matt is a character with depth. He is intensely multifaceted. His relationship to superheroing is complicated, his views on justice and morality are rich and often contradictory. Zdarsky somehow missed all of that and has crafted a one-dimensional character with a blatantly black-and-white sense of morality. Matt’s reaction to accidentally killing someone seems to be to decide that all superheroes are bad-- something I complained about at the beginning of the run and which, unfortunately, only grew more annoying as the story progressed. Zdarsky’s Matt is painfully self-righteous, to a degree that makes him extremely unlikeable (at least to me). And yes, Matt has been written as unlikeable before. I actually love when Matt behaves badly; I find that fascinating from a narrative perspective. But I’ve realized that the key reason that has been effective in the past is because the story has never condoned that behavior. When Matt was emotionally abusive toward Heather Glenn, Frank Miller went out of his way to show us-- via the side characters, via blatant expressions of Heather’s pain-- that Matt was in the wrong. When Matt was a jerk in Bendis’ and Brubaker’s runs, when he drove his friends away, when he acted irrationally and harmfully, the narrative commented on that jerkiness and irrationality. 

    But Zdarsky does not do that in his run. He presents Matt’s irrational and jerkish behavior without comment or nuance, as if it’s a perfectly normal, reasonable way for Matt to act under the circumstances, and I have been surprised to realize how distasteful I find that, and how bad it makes Matt look. There’s a difference between having a character who is comfortably flawed-- whose behavior you’re supposed to occasionally question-- and a character who is just unpleasant and unlikeable, seemingly by accident. In the most recent issue (#21), Matt has an extremely upsetting interaction with Spider-Man, one of his oldest friends, and Matt is positioned as heroic for behaving this way, and it made me feel a little ill, because there’s no textual examination or questioning of this behavior. It’s just Matt, pushing people away, being Angsty(TM) and Gritty(TM) and lone wolf-y just because, in a way that is grating and unpleasant and completely lacks nuance. 

    The other major element of Zdarsky’s characterization of Matt is religion. I’ve mentioned before (as have other DD fans before me) that Matt is not generally written as religious, and it’s a strange phenomenon that this characterization has appeared in multiple adaptations (the movie and the Netflix show) while having very little actual presence in the source material. But it was a key theme in the Netflix show, and while hopefully that influence will disappear from the comics as more time passes, we are still in a honeymoon phase wherein MCU elements are still popping up in the 616 universe. It’s clear that Zdarsky really liked the show, and Soule as well; I’m certainly not letting Soule off the hook here, because the idea of Matt being devoutly Christian showed up his run first. But there, you could get away from it if it wasn’t your thing (which, for me, it’s not). Soule had whole story arcs that didn’t mention it. But Zdarsky has made it 75% of Matt’s personality. When he isn’t fighting or sleeping with someone in this run, Matt is angsting about God. 

    I hesitate to complain about this because it’s Zdarsky’s right as a DD writer to change the protagonist however he likes. It’s frustrating, yes, but not actually a sign of bad writing per se. Plus, not everyone is me. Many people-- probably including many people who were fans of the Netflix show and are entering the comics via that connection (which seems to be the target audience for this run)-- may be religious and may connect to MCU/Zdarsky Matt in that way. And that’s wonderful. I want to be very clear: it’s not the religiousness itself that I’m complaining about. My complaint is this: if you’re going to drastically alter a character, you need to back it up. You need to dig into it, make that new personality element feel powerful and real, and integrate it into the character’s pre-existing personality. And if you’re going to base the entirety of that character’s emotional journey on that new trait, you need to work to make sure it’s accessible to your readership. I, as a non-religious person, have no sense of why Matt is so upset about God. I have no frame of reference for his pain, either from my own experiences or from previous Daredevil continuity, and Zdarsky does nothing to develop or explore the basis of Matt’s faith, and so it all just falls flat. I feel alienated by this run. I see an angsty, self-righteous, prickly jerk ranting about needing to do God’s will, and then I put the issue down and read some She-Hulk instead. If Zdarsky (or Soule-- again, he could have done this too) had made an effort to actually explore and explain Matt’s feelings about his religion, rather than lazily shoving that characterization in there and assuming readers will just accept it, it wouldn’t bother me nearly as much as it has. 

    Also, I feel I have to mention; this is a fantasy universe. Matt went to Hell and yelled at Mephisto in Nocenti’s run, and it was awesome. Maybe this is just me, but if you’re going to bring in religion, at least have some fun with it! Bookend Nocenti’s run: Matt goes to Heaven, runs into God, and she gives him some free therapy and a souvenir t-shirt (or, I don’t know, something). To give Zdarsky credit, he did at least hint at that sort of thing in Matt’s conversation with Reed Richards in #9. 

    I'm going to cut this post short, because I really don’t enjoy writing negative reviews. I’d much rather post about things I love, and over the next few weeks I do plan to highlight aspects of this run that I’ve enjoyed. But I’ll end by saying that the weaknesses in Matt’s characterization could have been mitigated by a great supporting cast. Having prominent secondary protagonists would have provided outside perspectives on Matt’s behavior and given the reader other characters to root for when he got too out-of-hand. They would have drawn out the human elements in Matt’s character and helped give him that nuance he so desperately needs. But this run, just like Soule’s before it, is woefully underpopulated. Foggy’s presence is extremely weak and his appearances far too infrequent. Apart from brief cameos in MacKay’s Man Without Fear mini, Kirsten McDuffie and Sam Chung have both vanished, and I’m worried that Kirsten might have joined Milla Donovan in the limbo of still-living-but-permanently-benched ex-love interests. The women in this run are all either villains or people for Matt to sleep with (I was pumped about Elektra’s return and the idea of her training Matt, but her characterization was disappointing (I may write a separate post about this), and Mindy Libris could have been really compelling as a moral person trying to survive life in a crime family, but instead she was just a one-note, underdeveloped victim for Matt to lust after). To Zdarsky’s credit, he has clearly been trying to give the Kingpin a humanizing story arc, but even that I haven’t found compelling enough to want to keep reading (though that could just be me). Cole North was intriguing at first, but he ended up feeling more like a concept than an actual person. And none of these characters engage with Matt on a human, emotional level, which is what a good supporting cast needs to do. I commented early-on that this run felt like all flash and no bang (Is that a term? It is now.) and I think I still stand by that-- it’s all bombastic plot concepts and big ideas without any of the actual development or nuance necessary to make them work. There is nothing in this run that has pulled me in and held my interest; in the absence of a Matt I can connect to, I need something, and so far I haven’t found it. 

    I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point. This run was nominated for an Eisner for best ongoing series, so apparently someone likes it, but it has become clear that-- so far, anyway-- it’s just not right for me.  

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

So... I was kinda disappointed with Buck Begins... NOT ENTIRELY. Just...

Major spoilers ahead. You should definitely watch the episode before reading my complaints... because I have a lot of them, and you shouldn't have the negative thoughts going into it...

But I'm gonna start with the good stuff.

The Buckley Siblings are everything to me. I love their relationship, and watching Buck grow up with Maddie protecting him? *chef's kiss* Perfection.

Buck being a daredevil because it was the only time that he got positive attention from his parents as a child? Absolutely heartbreaking and I hate his parents for *so much* for that.

Maddie doing whatever she could to help her baby brother, even when she was terrified and probably knew how bad it was going to get? I love her with my whole heart.

And I absolutely love the way they highlighted their relationship and how important Maddie is to Buck.

The moment when the team comes in to help Buck and save him and the other person? Cinematic excellence, I applaud them for that scene. His team loves him and will always have his back, and he *knows* that now.

And now for my grievances and where I think they missed the target...

It focused on Maddie too much for a "Buck Begins" episode. I get that she's a huge part of his life and that she would be in the childhood flashbacks, but even once Buck was out on his own, all we got to see were the postcards (with handwriting that did not look At All like Buck's handwriting, might I add) and the one scene of Buck bartending in Peru where he decided to move to LA and become a firefighter.

We already basically got a Maddie Begins episode, when Doug came back and kidnapped her. I didn't need another one. (I love Maddie and I loved the flashbacks, but... it just should have focused more on Buck. It was his episode, after all.)

We should have gotten to actually *see* what Buck did with his life before he made it to LA. They could have shown Maddie receiving a postcard, then done a montage with a shot of Buck writing one of the postcards. That montage focused more on Maddie than it did on Buck, which kind of frustrated me.

And then in present day? They made such a big deal about the family secret, and it just fizzled out. Like it didn't matter anymore. And I honestly don't see them doing much more with it, unless (God forbid) in a later season the Madney baby gets leukemia or something and Buck is a perfect match to save his niece. (Actually I could see them doing that and I would definitely cry. That would maybe give them a pass with this plot thread.)

Then with the factory fire? Idk, it didn't feel intense enough for me. NOT that I wanted Buck to horribly suffer more, but... Eddie being buried alive in his episode was So Much More Intense. Chimney's episode happened while he was literally bleeding nearly to death. I was hoping for more.

And maybe it has something to do with the lack of reaction from the entire team when the building exploded. Not only did we not see Eddie panic, even briefly, about Buck being trapped, we didn't see Bobby or Chimney of Hen panic either! Bobby sees Buck as a son, this is basically canon now. And Chimney and Hen see him as their little brother.

The exploding ladder truck and the tsunami both felt way more intense for Buck than the factory fire in this episode.

And then to top it off, NOBODY GAVE BUCK A HUG AFTER THR FACTORY FIRE! And Eddie and Chimney weren't even there by the ambulance! Like, what the fuck? Yes, Bobby, Athena, and Hen told him what he needed to hear, but they all should have been there! Supporting him! Where were they???

Also, they missed the perfect opportunity to casually make Buck canonically bisexual. Instead of meeting a girl who taught him how to surf, he could have met a guy. Then things didn't work out, just like they didn't with the girl.

UGH, these writers! They're either *really* amazing or *really* miss the important stuff... there was so much potential, and they just wasted it!

Anyway, enough of my ranting. I did enjoy the episode, but it was definitely not the best Begins episode in my opinion.

What are your thoughts? I clearly have too many.

-Quarantine Anon

So I just finished watching. Spoilers beneath the cut

So here’s what I knew going into this- everyone was going wild with theories and ideas and great fics of what was going to play out. Which is great. But I do think it got hyped up because of that.

The flashbacks to the Buckley childhood hurt so much. Margaret seemed to take it out on Evan so much because in her eyes- he failed her by not saving Daniel. BEGONE, Margaret! You can’t put that on your child if your own plan was to use the child to save a sibling and then deem him not deserving of love because of nature and genetics. But Maddie and Buck? I love a pair of siblings while being in agony over the hells they’ve walked through.

The use of ‘So Far’ and the team helping him? Poetic cinema. I felt so many emotions and had a bit of a cry.

I actually liked the postcards. I think if they had gone to film all of what he did, it would have gotten jammed packed. The bartender was stated in canon, so that felt worthy of a flashback (and oh wow, that was not the revelation I needed that I try to know cool things to impress cute people. Buck is not straight, I don’t care what anyone says). Plus, with Covid-19, I bet there would be some filming issues. Also, it felt the ups and downs in Buck’s postcards paralleled Maddie’s injuries from Doug. They were both lost thinking they were living, except they weren’t. It was all about survival. And the worst part is that sometimes, you will lull yourself into a sense that survival=living when that’s not the case. That’s what happened to the Buckleys I think.

We don’t know what’s to come, but the family secret might come up again in therapy. Which they better freaking continue and not drop like the Flash did.

On the factory fire- I think we hyped it up more than we expected. Eddie Begins and Chimney Begins were really serious episodes with their lives on the line. And I think about Buck talking about giving up after he gets out. He wasn’t going into this fire with a clear head. I think he saw himself as the replacement baby still who couldn’t ever live up, who couldn’t do things right. He wouldn’t leave despite ordered because that was showing Saleh he didn’t matter. To Buck, he did. He gets being left behind and in those situations, you’d rather someone else be happier and fine while you take the impact. Like the world would keep turning and everyone would be fine (eventually) after you left it.

The ladder truck and tsunami were physical pain. The factory fire was emotional pain. (which reminds me, I need to make a post about the element symbolism in Begins episodes)

If we didn’t see a hug in the episode, then we write the fic for it. Missing scenes can be created ;) Not to mention they’ve all still got work to get done on the scene. After events like that, I think everyone needed time to process it.

I get bisexual vibes off Buck big time in this episode. And I think there is repression and closeting that comes into play here. Your parents are constantly disappointed in you, so why disappoint them further? Bury it down deep and deeper who you really are. It was the attention-seeking that would work out for him. Also, bisexuality is more than one. You identify as bi and your partner uses she/her? Bi. Partner uses he/his? BI. Partner uses them/they? Still bi. (Also, how much do we know about the postcards he wrote. Maybe he didn’t give her the full story. There’s only so much room in a postcard and she was the one person in the world who still believed in him. Was he afraid to disappoint her?)

Overall, I did enjoy the episode. Eddie Begins always holds a special place in my heart as the first ever episode of 911 I saw enough of to get me interested in the show. The thing is that I can’t pit the Begins episodes against each other. They all show a journey in some way. 

Hopefully this was coherant enough and I’m sorry for my little bisexual rant.

[disappearinginq]

First 20

Tagged by @dragonnan - I have the memory of a gnat, so I have no idea when I was tagged, but just noticed it now. 

Guidelines: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20,  just list them all.) Choose your favourite opening line, tag some friends!

I have a mix of fandoms below - Deception, Torchwood/Doctor Who, Magnum PI 2018, White Collar, Merlin, Arrow, and Lucifer. 

Wrong Side of Heaven -  “So you’re telling me, you HALO jumped into North Korea –” Masters asked, scribbling as fast as he could in his notebook, writing indecipherable to anyone who tried to read it except for him, “for what? A possible defector? I didn’t even know we had actionable intel from there.”

Bad Things Happen (this is sort of a weird one since it’s multiple chapters but individual story lines that don’t necessarily connect, so I’m just doing the first chapter)-   “Jesus, Nuzo…”

Miracles -  “Look, I’m just saying – step – it’s a misnomer calling it a hostile takeover if there’s no fighting involved,” Danny said, as they walked along the sidewalk, Matt’s hand resting on Danny’s elbow as the younger man continued to rant about corporate lingo.

Found Family -  Rick tugged at the stiff collar of his dress blues for the umpteeth time, stretching the starched material a little further every time.

All That Grace -  She’d never actually stopped to look around the guest house since Magnum moved in.

Jinx -  “People are gonna start thinking you’re a jinx, Major.”

Crash -  Katsumoto jolted awake, sucking in a deep breath he instantly regretted.

Once Bitten -  Thomas was laughing and joking around, pointing the neck of his beer bottle accusingly at TC when Rick caught it.

Into the Night -  Foggy regretted that he didn’t always pay attention to what was on in the news - he listened for key words, like ‘masked vigilante,’ ‘Devil in Hell’s Kitchen,’ ‘John Doe found in the Hudson wearing bulletproof Satan costume’, and variations thereupon because, well, reasons.

Building a Mystery -  Juliet Higgins wasn’t an idiot.

Carry On -  “Detective?”

Remedy -  “No, Lucifer, you misunderstand,” Mary said conversationally.

Icarus -  They hadn’t believed him.

Consequence -  Somedays, Jonathan got really sick of his father’s shit.

Mirrors -  Kay Daniels wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she met Jonathan Black.

Guardians -  Occasionally, William missed his life in Central City.

Wayward -  "Rift activity," Gwen Cooper called from the computer station.

Oleoresin Capsicum -  Something wet splattered across his face.

Sand Castles -  If Morgause and Morgana didn't manage to kill Arthur, Merlin most certainly would.

Fair Warning -  Morgana was seething.

The fandoms are hella mixed - but I do tend to write in batches of fandom (and these are also just in the order they were posted or in some case, cross posted from FFN to AO3). 

And honestly - for opening lines, it’s a tie between two in the same fandom - the ones from Into the Night and Miracles, which are Iron Fist/Daredevil crossovers written for challenges. 

Tagging: @beguilewritesstuff, @ariaadagio (I forget if you play games - is it your off season yet? :-) ), @amandagaelic, @vix-has-arrived, @21forestglades, @aliathewriter, @itsjustdg aaaaaaaaand anyone else who would like to play 

[biribirichan1]

We’ll find a way

A million memories flood through Ichigo as he witnesses Rukia, radiant in her royal regalia - ascending the steps to the high priest waiting to crown her as the first reigning queen of their nation. Queen Rukia. His heart felt like it would burst from pride - she had worked so hard to overturn the rules that said that only male heirs could be in line for the thrown. Even as a child, that’s what she’d aspired to. “Just you watch Ichigo, I’ll be Queen one day,” - with her arms held out to the sky, and her eyes sparkling with the ferocity that he loved so dearly.

Ichigo clutched his heart. “Don’t think about her eyes, you fool. You’ll never make it through this.” He knew that his heart was not just bursting, it was also slowly breaking, because he knew today marked the day when they had to part their ways. He’d known for so long that this day would come, had steeled his heart for it - so why did it still hurt so bad? It’s not like he hadn’t been warned. By his dad, by his friends, by anyone who knew. But call it fate, call it being soul mates, there was no keeping them apart. Ichigo had tried. Really he had. The first time he and Rukia had been caught kissing, his dad had given him the scolding of a life time. “We in the Shiba clan exist solely to guard the Kuchiki royalty, not to fall in love with them!” Isshin had roared. “She’s a princess, Ichigo! One day, she’ll be married into other royalty. You’re just looking to get your heart broken, son.”

After that, he had managed to avoid Rukia for a week. A mere week - until the red string of fate crashed them together. He smiled wryly thinking that rather than it being the string of fate, it was Rukia who had crashed him to the wall and kissed him senseless.

“Rukia, we’ll end up like Romeo and Juliet.”

“I don’t care,” she shot back, defiance in every fiber of her being. “Now, shut up and kiss me back.” And Ichigo had shut up and kissed her. He had never been able to say no to her anyways.

As the days turned to months, and the months turned to years, and Rukia successfully avoided all her suitors, Ichigo had started to get optimistic - perhaps, just perhaps, by some stroke of fate, they could be together.

That illusion didn’t last very long. Rukia’s determination and her magnetic personality really got people’s attention in court. Combined with her success on the battlefield, she had become immensely popular. Ichigo had long known it in his heart, but Rukia was born to be a Queen to her people. So it was no surprise to Ichigo, when without his own heir, her ailing older brother, King Byakuya, made Rukia his successor, defying hundreds of years of tradition. When Rukia told him, he had been so happy. He had picked her up and spun her around in the garden they were in and kept saying, “I always knew.” Rukia however, in response had burst into tears - one the few times in his life that he had actually seen her cry.

“Rukia, love, what’s wrong? You’ll be the first Queen of the land. You’re making history. You should be so proud!”

Rukia didn’t say a word. She had just wept, and held him close. Ichigo found out the reason for her tears from his father. “She has to choose her husband within a year of her coronation.”

As Ichigo had ranted and raged, his father laid a hand on his shoulder and told him, “His Highness broke all the rules to make Rukia the next queen. It’s just not possible for one person to alter so much at once.”

And so the race towards coronation began. King Byakuya had wanted to hand off the crown before he passed away to ensure a smooth transition. Their country was at a delicate stage with war brewing on the south borders, so it was essential to keep the morale high. It seemed to Ichigo that all the old advisors planned to incorporate the hunt for Rukia’s husband as part of the morale boosting activities.

“Should we really be having such lavish parties with His Highness in such a state and a brewing war?” Ichigo had complained to Rukia one night.

Rukia just flashed him her enigmatic smile, and said “Looks like someone is jealous.”

“Can you blame me. That pompous ass had his hands all over you while danci-” his words were cut off by a passionate kiss from Rukia. “Ichigo, you know I have eyes only for you, right?”

Night after that, all of Ichigo’s protests were drowned by her kisses and assurances of “Trust me” and “I love you” and “We’ll find a way.” Ichigo knew he was just fooling himself, but how could he say no to her, when all he knew was just to be with her? To love her? To never let her go? So he let himself be fooled and allowed himself to love her as long as he possibly could. And so the days kept going much like before, until it was finally the night before the coronation, and he knew he couldn’t continue this farce any longer. The advisors had finally picked a suitable man in his eyes. Ichigo had scrutinized Prince Renji for days, and couldn’t really find any major faults with him. He knew Rukia would be happy eventually, if she allowed herself to be. After all, she was getting to live out her life long ambition. He was just getting ready to go to her garden, where they usually met, and bid her farewell on his own terms. It was already getting harder and harder for them to meet in secret after she was named King Byakuya’s successor. He knew it would be almost impossible to meet alone after she was crowned Queen.

As he got ready to go, he heard a knock at his door, before a crying Rukia stumbled in and into his arms. “Rukia, what are you doing here?”

“Ichigo, Ichigo”. She kept crying his name and holding him like there was no tomorrow.

“Rukia, what are you doing - we can’t keep doing this! Your coronation is tomorrow -” Suddenly Ichigo felt his heart shatter. Rukia’s tears, her desperation, all clicked into place with such a painful clarity. It’s tomorrow, his heart thundered. It’s tomorrow. All this time, he had been thinking that he would bid her farewell today without really understanding what that meant. His heart had numbed him to his true circumstances. To his reality. But finally with Rukia in his arms, his heart had awakened.

He stopped fighting her, and poured his heart and all his love into her, hoping, wishing it would stay with her for her entire lifetime. Even if he was no longer there. Because today was all he had with her. There was no tomorrow. After tomorrow, all he would have would be his inner demons with her smiles, and the memories of the time they spent loving each other. 

Later as they held each other, Ichigo had tried to say how much he loved her. Had tried to say goodbye. Each time, Rukia had chased his farewells away with her kisses. She didn’t want them. So he resigned himself to just holding her and loving her until the first rays of dawn spilled across the bed they shared.

Rukia was the first to get up. As she pulled on her clothes, and got ready to leave, her mask was back on. She looked at him and asked, “Ichigo, you had once said that you’d leave the Shiba clan as soon as I got crowned. Is that still what you plan to do?”

Ichigo looked at her. “Rukia - I.” He hung his head. “You know I’ll always love you, and cheer for you and pray for your success. But I don’t think I could see you be married to someone else day in and day out. I just couldn’t. It’d kill me, Rukia.”

“I see. Very well then.” And before Ichigo could even say anything, she was gone. Gone from his arms, from his room, and out of his life forever. “Goodbye, Rukia.”

The tears wouldn’t stop anymore. Ichigo looked at his beautiful Rukia, radiant with the crown over her head. “Long live the Queen,” the jubilant crowd shouted. “Long live Queen Rukia!”

Rukia beamed at the crowd in front of her, and raised a hand for silence. “Today we have made history,” she roared. “To anyone who thinks that a woman is any less than a man, take note. The heavens have spoken and the people have spoken. I, Rukia, am proud to take up the crown today, and serve as your very first Queen.”

The roar was deafening. Ichigo looked around to see some of female spectators clapping with tears in their eyes, some waving their handkerchiefs, and some cheering with their fists raised. Rukia’s special squad of female warriors, Division 13, had their swords and spears high up in the air and kept chanting Rukia’s name again and again and again. He couldn’t have been prouder. He knew that Rukia had the whole country mesmerized by her charisma, just as she had him in her spell for all these years. “Look at how far you’ve come, love.” Ichigo breathed.

Rukia raised her arms again for silence. “As you all know, we are passing through a turbulent time. War is brewing on the southern border, and the lack of rains has our farmers in a dire crisis. It is exactly because the times are so pressing that I will need all your support and dedication. Together we will push this country to peace and prosperity once again!” More cheering erupted.

Rukia paused for a bit, and then started again, but in a slightly somber voice. “Though I will warn all of you - the road to prosperity is not easy and requires many sacrifices, changing of old mindsets and new ways of thinking. There are many places in which centuries old tradition have safeguarded our peace and happiness, but there are also places where it has held us back. Kings before me have promised to uphold tradition and honour in their coronation speech, but as you can see I’m a little different.” Rukia gestured to her dress.

The crowd roared with laughter, and Ichigo amused himself by seeing the sour expressions on the members of the royal advisory panel. Trust Rukia to use humour in her coronation speech and piss off those old farts. No one other that that daredevil could have the guts to pull that off.

Rukia continued, “So today, as your Queen, instead of promising to uphold tradition, what I promise to uphold are my people’s happiness and this country’s prosperity. Help me make that a reality everyone. Work with me!”

The crowd went crazy. Never before had a royalty asked to work with the common public. Never had they put the happiness of the people before the country’s traditions. “Rukia, you were born to a Queen. You’ll be amazing.” As he started walking away from the crowd, and out of Rukia’s life, he just wished he could have cheered for her success from right beside her than being just another spectator in the crowd. “Be happy, my love.”

...

“What do you mean, my application to quit got rejected?” Ichigo yelled at his father, who also happened to be his superior as the head of the Shiba clan).

“Here, you can see it for yourself. It has Queen Rukia’s seal and everything.” Isshin grinned.

“Dad - this is not funny. Who does that? I’ve never heard of a royal guard’s application being rejected! This is so ridiculously petty - even by her standards.”

“Ichigo - my boy. Calm down.” Isshin dropped his voice, “You’re one lucky bastard. Haven’t you heard? Rukia got into a lot of trouble after her coronation.”

Panic flooded his heart. “What do you mean, dad?”

“What I mean, you silly son, is who do you think all that breaking tradition in her coronation speech was aimed at? Shortly after she was crowned Queen, she broke off the engagement with Prince Renji too.”

“She WHAT?!” Ichigo sat down on the nearest chair and put his head in his hands. “Dad, I’m so confused. I let her go. I said goodbye. Why is she jeopardizing herself for me?” Ichigo knew how twisted court politics was, and felt nothing but fear for Rukia.

Isshin sighed, “Did Her Highness ever say goodbye to you, Ichigo? She told me she intended to fight for you with everything she had, son.”

“But the advisors, the generals - she’ll lose support in court. Dad, you know how it is...” Ichigo trailed off.

“Well, be thankful that your girlfriend has got quite the super powers. The generals can’t win the war without her, the advisors can’t win against her popularity. She’s been playing her cards magnificently.”

Patting his son on the back, Isshin continued, “Ichigo, stop sulking and go meet up with her. But before you do, do think of how you’ll handle her rage at submitting your resignation. You know how she hates it when people don’t believe in her.”

Ichigo balked. His dad was right. There would be hell to pay.

...

“Ah Ichigo, I thought you quit.” Rukia said impassively.

“Your highness, this is the matter I requested a private audience for - to speak about my application.”

Rukia turned to the two clerks handing off papers for her to sign, and said, “I’ll finish this in a few minutes. Can you give us some privacy?”

“Of course, your Majesty.” The two men turned to leave, closing the door beside them as they exited.

A deathly silence filled the room, until Ichigo could take it no more.

“Rukiaaa,” he pleaded.

In response, he got a heavily embroidered cushion in his face. “You fooool. You were actually going to leave, weren’t you? Didn’t I tell you to trust me?”

“You were crying the night before the coronation. I thought you had given up hope too. How would I know you had other plans?”

He got another cushion thrown at him. “Of course, I was crying! I was scared! Do you know how hard its been - fighting for you - for us?” Rukia trailed off, furiously wiping away the tears that had sprung up in the corner of her eyes.

Ichigo couldn’t take it any more. In one swift motion, he closed the gap between them and took her in his arms, breathing her in. “Rukia, I really am sorry. I should have believed you. Forgive me.”

He heard a muffled no from his chest.

“Rukiaaa, you know how crazily in love with you I am right? I won’t lose faith again. I’ll fight for you - for us, for our love.”

Silence.

Ok, Ichigo thought, she’d need a little more coaxing. “How about to make up when you get off the next day, you and I can have a little picnic in your garden. I’ll get all your favourite snacks.” He inched a little closer. “I’ll even smuggle in some of the juices boxes from the Southern border that you love so much.”

“Ichigo, we’re might be going to war with them!”

“Doesn’t mean they don’t have the best tasting juice in the continent.”

“Humph, fine.”

Ichigo laughed. Even with the crown on her head, Rukia’s pout made her look so much like the child she truly was. He leaned down to kiss her, and thanked the gods, or fate or whatever supernatural beings there were for allowing him to still be with Rukia. He didn’t know if they truly could ever get married, or be together like a normal couple, but he realized in that moment that he didn’t need normal. As long as he was the one in her heart, he was content to simply be by her side and love and cherish her with all his soul.

“I love you, Rukia.”

---

Happy Ichiruki month everyone! This story turned out to be super long because I combined 5 days worth of prompts! Written for Ichiruki AU Week Prompt Day 17: Coronation, Day 18: Tradition, Day 19: All my Demons have your Smile, Day 20: Romeo and Juliet, Day 21: Supernatural. I’m not sure if the characters were too OOC, but I tried to keep Rukia’s feisty nature alive as the heir to the throne, and Ichigo’s angst vibe from when he lost his powers and couldn’t see Rukia. Let me know what you thought! Hope you enjoyed

[beecherdrysdale]

Oh yes, Holloway seems similar to you! Like you seem really easygoing and that’s what a lot of teammates said about him:) plus since your the daredevil of your group, you guys would just do a bunch of fun stuff with each other.

Ooo I laugh so hard when somebody flips over on a boat/kayak. It’s funny 😆 if the person knows how to swim ofc. It would be funny if we flipped lol.

Haha sorry for making you the guinea pigs, but I think if you went, I would go too:) sometimes it happens to me, I get too scared to try something but now I’m better :) so grabbing onto Jamie and Jack would be my go to hehe. Also imagine how fun that would be! Would you hold onto the person(Dylan?) or jump by yourself?.

Ya! It would be flex and I will continue to imagine that :) they do seem very easy going and down to do anything. I can just feel us getting along with them ?!. A beach day would be fun. Especially if there are waves. Also rollerblading with them sounds really fun since they’re hockey players and we both know how to skate!.

Oh absolutely, people like to over look how much work athletes put into their sport. People always assume that I barely train because I play tennis but it’s the absolute opposite. It’s the same with swimming( still super cool that you swim!)

We would definitely keep up with them lol !

yeah i just really want to be friends with holloway bc i feel like we could do sm fun stuff together but he also seems really chill if that makes sense?

yeah if you and quinner fell in i would be too busy laughing my ass off to help you guys sorry bc ik you both know how to swim

i mean i honestly don’t mind going first bc i’m the daredevil of my friend group i’m used to going first for that kind of stuff lol. honestly idk if i would jump with dyl or by myself bc on one hand i would want to go by myself so i could try to do like a flip or something, but on the other hand i would want to pull dyl in with me bc it’s really awkward when you’re the first one in and then no one else follows you in lol

yesss i feel like we would get along really well with them, and it would be so fun to chill with them at the beach. also yes i love rollerblading sm, so that would be vv fun for us to go rollerblading with them

also yes it’s so annoying when people tell me swimming is easy and stuff especially because whenever i get invited to stuff i can’t bc i have swim, so you would think people would realize how much work it is but they don’t (sorry for the rant lol) but yeah i imagine it’s the same way for you with tennis. but all our training would definitely help us keep up with them