#it’s hell

[foldingfittedsheets]

So neither my wife or I have been sleeping well and their mother in law is visiting. She’s been hacking and coughing since she arrived setting off all my panic alarms about getting sick. We’ve gotten two negative covid tests but over the counter drugs aren’t able to tackle her cough.

It’s hard to tell what’s paranoia, allergies, poor sleep, or real illness but I’ve been feeling worse and worse over the last couple days. We have a feast planned at a medieval village on Saturday with several friends and an unventilated room full of people.

She’s staunchly resisting the idea of going to the doctor, insisting this is allergies even after admitting she’s never had allergies like this. The more medical questions we ask the more she digs her heels in. She finally admitted her nose fluids are not in fact clear.

My wife went to tell her we’re dragging her to a walk in clinic tomorrow to get a clear bill of health before the feast but I feel like she resents how alarmed I am by her illness. She’s not pleased with the plan.

[theshadowrealmitself]

I would not do time loops correctly, I don’t think it would matter how many times I went through a loop, it would always weigh on me that any loop could be the one that I would have to deal with the consequences for, especially since people never know why they’re stuck in a loop in the beginning

I’d be that character that doesn’t do the same things every day, but I’d only change small stuff, like what I eat for lunch, never acknowledging that time is looping, just living my life as much as possible

Up until the other person who’s stuck in the loop notices for the first time that I’m also stuck when they barely notice the tiny detail of me sitting in a different spot because I never make a fuss and corners me like “why wouldn’t you say something???”

Because?? Obviously?? What if I do make an embarrassing fuss about being stuck in a time loop?? And everyone sees it?? And then the time loop breaks and everyone remembers that??? Hell no. My anxiety would never stand for that. I’d rather let the loop consume me.

[chrissy-kaos]

For those of you that want to know, this is what the inside of my brain looks like 🧠

[delioncourtss]

“Have I been late once?”

“Have you been early once?”

RIP Armand you’d love working in fashion ❤️

[bulldog-butch]

i feel like i might like wearing slutty little shorts now if it weren’t for the goddamn chub rub

[p4rty4nim4l]

me but in gacha death

[thequiver]

My toxic knitting trait is that I will do almost anything to avoid seaming

[vineydoesntexist]

i like writing fanfiction because sometimes you just need to make the two characters that have interacted once kiss

[zestialmorde]

*slurs*

“Pardon?” Zestial mostly seems confused

[gayamulet]

SO TODAY, I’m working on coming up with 1 or 2 more simple 4x6 linos to accompany the cormorant in time to hang everything for another brewery gallery through all of November. On the right is most of the inks for a HW piece that’s almost ready for color.

And I feel like I’ve had a LOT to say about lino since I began trying it last year. It’s very VERY different from the elaborate ink/paint animals I did for the last 15+ years. It’s much quicker work, and forces me to simplify in a way I literally could not imagine doing in other mediums. What’s funny is I still run into the same process issues I did with pen & ink, just in a more simplified and graphic way, which is -style direction-. The jump from gestural animal sketch to whatever comes next- whether it’s adjusting everything for inking OR breaking it down for lino, is still a bottomless pit where I put on the brakes. So I took a photo here because you can literally see where I have to do a kind of style change over, where honestly I probably don’t need to because lino is a medium where…that medium dictates the outcome so much more (imo) than pen & ink. I could’ve just mapped it and been good. It’s ok if the sketch is fucking ugly. But I’m not there yet in my own brain and have to build this safety net early so I can predict as much of the final/outcome as possible. And it’s like!!!!! You can just hear your brain screaming at itself to move on….!!!!!

[quibbs126]

And you want to know what makes it worse? I don’t even have anything going on creatively in my mind either

I like to go on walks in the morning, around 30 minutes to an hour, depends on what I feel like (or the weather), and during that time, I listen to music and I think about scenarios in my head, like characters talking or a scenario they’re in. They could be characters of my own creation, they could be characters from a series I currently like. But usually, it goes with the vibe of whatever I’m listening to (or it devolves into something else, but that’s a gradual thing). But now, I can’t come up with really anything, and so I’m stuck revisiting whatever I came up with beforehand, and I can’t think of anything new. And like, it’s getting annoying, only being stuck with like, 3 things, not to mention I’m just repeating the conversations over and over again each time

I know that’s a weird, specific thing, but it’s a thing, and I thought it should mention it

But going to something more general that makes more sense, another thing is that I just haven’t made that much art. Like I’ve been doing less and less over time, and I know y’all know it. And I want to make art, I just can’t make myself, both out of lack of ability to force myself to, and because of a lack of creativity (which is what I’m focusing on here)

Or like for my fankids, I’ll be looking at my list, either in my notes or on Procreate, and I cannot make myself do anything with them. And I’m doing this with characters in general, I‘ll be looking at a blank page and have no clue what to do with it

And the current most infuriating thing, I can’t make new characters. Maybe I can push through making fankids, but I cannot make my own original characters, and I cannot create a new original story to work with. Sometimes I’ll have random ideas, and I’ll write them down, but I can’t do much with them. And what makes it infuriating is that I feel like I am on the cusp of something, some new thing should be happening (and at this point I need it for new ideas), but nothing’s coming up, the thoughts won’t form

I suppose related to that, I’m trying to redo the fusion project once more, but I can’t figure out where to start with the characters, and so I can’t do anything. I have ideas, like Berserk is making me think of something to do with the characters, but I don’t know what that something is, or how to achieve that thing. It had to do with each of the party characters and how they’re introduced and what they bring to the party, but the thoughts won’t form enough for me to understand what it is

That’s the main thing, thoughts are floating my head, there are points that formulate, but the refuse to connect into an actual line of thinking or creativity, and it’s infuriating!

None of that made sense, did it?

I noticed this on Sunday when I was out with my family for lunch. I had my iPad to draw, but I couldn’t think of anything to draw, so I just sat there, trying to think of something. I mean thankfully food came relatively fast, or else I’d be stuck there for ages in an infuriating creative limbo

[theshadowrealmitself]

Been really into the kind of romance that’s like “asking your crush to a ball and slow dancing with them” lately, and unfortunately I can’t connect that to any Vulcan/Human stuff because “Vulcans think dancing is logical” makes me picture some intense dance dance revolution stuff going on instead of slow dancing

[dick-helmet-magneto]

A deadly education reads like a mix between info dumping on a subject I know nothing about and the author having a word limit she has to reach

[averageidiotenby]

Idk who made Iron Leaves’ moveset, stats, and ai but I hope you had to fight this thing over and over and over

[echoredacted]

You go from Zero to Bitchy quite quickly for someone who supposedly doesn't give a shit about anything or anyone...

Who the hell lit the Fuse on your metaphorical Tampon?

This place.