#it’s fucking depressing y’all
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every now and then in the midst of the most deranged garbage you’ve ever watched when californication gets actually very very sad 🫠
#keep thinking about karen telling hank ‘angel i love you so SO much’ and then weeping#and hank saying ‘i can’t stay. i can’t stay.’ and her ‘i know.’#and when he goes back in the house and becca just looks at him and KNOWS he’s leaving. and tells him it’s okay. hugs her dad goodbye.#it’s fucking depressing y’all#it’s like a combination of his past mistakes/choices and his addictions and his own personal flaws and failings#that just keep him from ever actually being able to show up for them and they are just TRAPPED.#and for as much posturing as the show can do about what a super cool genius last Real Man hank is#i think it does know that he’s fucking destroying his family. ‘his girls.’#and they cannot escape!! they will forever cling to the potential of the partner/father they know on good days!!!#and it IS sad when the show inevitably pulls back to expose the damage being done. how for every funny or sexy tryst or escapade there’s#the only people he loves weeping on the porch#anyway. it’s the worst television show ever made i literally want to be watching it 24 hours a day#californication
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Some interesting similarities between the forms of Falling Devil and Darkness Devil.
There’s the use of multiple bodies to create a singular form, the angular shapes, the mantis-leg-like appendages, the sheer height.
These two also share very strong hand motifs, which makes sense for both of them: when it’s dark, you have to feel your way around, usually with your hands; when you’re falling, you try to grab onto something with your hands.
I’m curious to see if the other Primals look anything like these two.
#chainsaw man#csm 123#csm meta#darkness devil#falling devil#csm spoilers#csm manga spoilers#csm part 2 spoilers#csm 123 spoilers#there isn’t a particular Point to this post really but#I just enjoy the symbolism Fujimoto has in his designs#like. how the fuck do you physicalize the fear of darkness. or falling. they’re both concepts characterized by absence.#also the fact that darkness and falling are both metaphors for despair/depression#saying you’re in a dark place or your heart dropped/sank or that you’re in a deep dark hole#Fujimoto you’ve done it again!!!#body horror cw#oryginals#ACK forgot alt text sorry y’all I fixed it
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trying to explain to other otasune fans that snake is NOT the one with internalized homophobia in their coupling
#y’all see a a slightly smaller man in the queer ship and make him your femboy out and proud twink yas queen#and he got raised by kaz#the fruit ever#he is caught up and knowledgeable about queer terminology#I don’t think he’s like open about it cause military but i think it’s the least of his issues#Otacon tho???#the guy with the dad who instilled fear of weakness inside him#and a mom who ended up marrying a man despite being in lovr with a woman and being really depressed#and then getting groomed by his step mom#and got a weird inferiority complex about all of that which related to the wah he finds piece in manga and anime#he can calls himself a loser and weak by his own interests and not by the more serious things he doesn’t want to examine#the way he talks about snake in the games and novels like he wants him so badly but refuses to every actually tell him#he wants them to be a family but the connotation to family to him is so fucked up#he tells himself that snake knows what he’s thinking because he knows what’s snake thinking but snake doesn’t#the scene where he sleeps with Naomi on the night snake is leaving for his suicide mission??#LIKE???#mgs#otasune#snotacon#snavid#otacon#mgs otacon#metal gear solid
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But these soldiers were not faceless to me, each man quickly forged his own personality, I still think of my second-in-command, CC-2224 — who I called “Commander Cody” — with a great fondness.
I miss him to this day. Even though he eventually tried to kill me.
#codywan#comic redraw#commander cody#212th attack battalion#obiwan kenobi#clone wars fanart#the clone wars#star wars fan art#clone wars#star wars#cc 2224#captora art#comic redraw because I’m artblocked as fuck#sorry to make y’all depressed
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the worst part and the part i’m drowning in is he won everything. he won popular and electoral. it was never about jill stein or protest voting or abstaining or caring about g3nocide or women or queer people or ab0rtion rights. none of it would have fucking mattered because he would have won anyway because white cishet women sold out against their sisters rather than vote for another fucking woman. none of it would have mattered because this country cares more about pressing their boots on some poor sod’s neck to get ahead.
this country has bred selfish, bigoted, misogynistic, disgusting pigs and we are going to have to eat the same slop as them.
#ari announces#i’m sorry if my politics posting is too much but i’m not tagging. enough. y’all are gonna need to just blacklist me#get out into your local communities. band together. start initiatives. go to a food bank. i know this sounds so doomer but#we got thru 2016. we did. rn you don’t need to think rationally like that though that’s for next week#for now be angry. be sad. be devastated. be depressed. feel it. process it. and get your pu$$y up bc we got work to do#‘waaa don’t dehumanize trxmp supporters :((‘ that’s a pig. that’s an animal incapable of human thought and basic understanding and literacy#sorry if you think otherwise but there is no excuse now. none. zilch. fuck off.#(actually jk i am tagging this bc this is really doomer i’m sorry yall)#tw politics
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I have a lot of opinions on fanon Tim. I am a fanon!Tim Drake anti. I’ve never been an anti of anything before, but I am very anti fanon!Tim Drake. He’s basically just a Mary Sue, but it’s worse because Tim Drake is a real canon character who is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING. What the fuck did y’all do to him. Why can’t you just project your childhood trauma on a self insert like the rest of the internet. Look at him! You could replace him with a single packing peanut, and I couldn’t even tell the difference!
#personal#anti tim drake#same goes for the Angry Robin Dick Grayson truthers#I like angry angst teenagers turned depressed sunshine adults as much as someone who is very much exactly that can#but y’all can’t just slap an emotion on a character and make it their entire personality#same goes for Stephanie and Purple#give my girl back her personality#she’s literally my favorite of the bat clan#but they are what fan fiction is#fanon Tim is just The Worse because there’s like virtually trace of canon tim in there#it’s like y’all saw two panels of an event#then completely bs’d everything revolving around it#IM LOOKING AT YOU#DAMIAN CUT TIM’S LINE FIC AUTHORS#ACKNOWLEDGE TIM’S PARANOID HIT LIST YOU COWARDS#WHY DOES NO ONE EVER WRITE ABOUT HIM PUTTING DAMIAN ON A HIT LIST#DAMIAN FUCKING CRIED#HE IS A GODDAMN CHILD#dc
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the writers on here making the miguel fics need to remember his fangs inject paralytic venom hes not a real vampire it was just a joke in the movie 😭
oh but i still want him to bite me don’t get me wrong idgaf if they have venom 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
#the copious amounts of smut i’ve seen with this man and the fangs is crazy#y’all need to tone it DOWN wheres the fluff omg??#there’s like so many smut x reader fics clogging the miguel o’hara tag and people can express their creative liberties or whatever but it’s#getting CRAZY#like why is almost nobody talking about his character and writing an analysis on him#AND WHY ARE SO MANY FICS WRITING HIM TO BE SOME FERAL AND MEAN BEAST#firstly it’s feels racist to write a brown latino man that way.#second it feels fetishiz-y with how people only sexualize the fuck outta him and talk about nothing else when it comes to him#to add onto that people are drawing him with a MUZZLE on#at first all this didn’t really register in my head as bad but after seeing so much i see it 😭#also some spanish speakers have said people are using incorrect spanish when writing dialogue for him and thats kinda funny#don’t use google translate please 💀#miguel o’ hara#spiderman 2099#across the spiderverse#i also saw someone say miguel would not be a good partner or something and i just know you didn’t pay attention#and i wont go into why because its spoilers but we have seen him be soft and happy with someone he cares about it’s just trauma that has#made him mean and depressed#he was obviously projecting onto miles in the movie when he acted like that let’s be fr#why am i writing a novel down here idk i just wanted to talk about it a little#i love the smut (trust me) but pleaaseee don’t start being fetishize-y
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ok I know we talk a lot about the love confession lines and the “rotting former first mate” line and all that but can we PLEASE talk about “you know what he did when I told him I loved him? he shot me.” BECAUSE OH MY GODDDDD WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. INSANE FUCKING LINE.
#JESUS CHRISTTT#I know ed shooting him wasn’t like. directly correlated to the love confession in reality but STILL#JESUS FUCK WHAT A LINE. OUGH.#ESPECIALLY because he speaks that line to STEDE?????#like. fucking. openly telling the man who stole the love of your life ‘hey he hated me for loving him. btw. Hope y’all are happy tho’#WHAT THE FUCK#how. how do you even move on in your relationship after hearing homie’s ex say that to you. like oh my god#it’s so fucking agonizingly tragic. izzy is so fucking tragic#the tragedy of his acceptance. of knowing that ed doesn’t love him anymore and that they will only poison each other.#but that ed still gets to be happy. he finally got to be happy and he’s finally truly in love with someone but it’s not him. it’s not izzy.#he could have been capable of that kind of love. but never for izzy#and izzy just has to ACCEPT that. he DOES accept it. and that is so incredibly fucking depressing#he just has to watch the man he loves move on. after hurting izzy so much. he gets to be happy#and he still loves him. he still loves him.#izzy hands#ofmd#blackhands
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“Don’t you ever miss being a child?” “You had so much free time as a kid!” “You’ll never experience a Christmas class party again” no I absolutely do NOT miss being a child. Your childhood and my childhood? They do not equate. Our experiences are not fucking universal. I don’t know what kind of childhood YOU had but if I woke up one day and found myself 7 years old again??? I would jump off the fucking roof. What do you mean you want to be a kid again? Like what do you MEAN? It certainly can’t be what you think it means. Listen. Right now I can order Wingstop Parmesan Garlic Tenders with as much Blue Cheese Sauce as I want with my OWN money and NO ONE can give me shit about it and I can DRIVE MYSELF there. Hell I could walk myself there! Do I miss being a CHILD? Do I miss existing as a being with no autonomy and at the mercy of adults who should know better? God know. Fuck no. I love being an adult. I fucking love it. Life started for me at nineteen. Every day I wake up absolutely PUMPED that I survived that batshit insane period of my life. If you genuinely wish you could be a child again, you’re doing something wrong with your adult life now.
#but that’s just me 💅🏽#I think what y’all are actually trying to say#is that you want to feel whimsy or wonder again#a lot of you fucks are like ‘the world used to be so colorful’#it still can be!#you know more now as an adult and the world is tainted because of that knowledge#but that just means you have to actively make your little part of the world better#being kind to people and looking around at the world and saying yeah it might not be so vibrant but it’s real#it’s life#this is coming from a person who fully has depression and hates their fucking job#maybe if you let go of wanting to be a kid again you can embrace who you are now you fucking donuts
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@thecrazyalchemist @touslin @i-eat-so-much-grass @homocidalpotat @angsty-worm
@butter-is-bored @wendig1rl @ashthenerdtheythem @catinasink @mybedroomceilingsbored
@boba-pearl @bleep-bloop-boo @obsessingoverl
#y’all I really vibe with his “everyone thinks he’s all happy and sunshine and rainbows#But really he is really fucking depressed” :D#Poll
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been struggling a lot lately and seeing ryans story today made me feel less alone, as well as reading so many of y’all’s stories <3
#that was very brave of him#ryan guzman#i’m not really in a place to take my own advice atm#but i would care and i would miss y’all if you weren’t around#life is really fucking hard sometimes y’all#depression tw#depression thoughts#tw sui ideation
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i’ve basically been having a month long mental breakdown but i miss u babes a lot
#this whole saturn return thing is… hm.#a few significant life things changed and it threw me for a fucking loop and honestly still is#i’ve been broke and depressed and miserable and anxious#honestly still struggling with my whole being but hey. i’m trying to be a person.#i don’t like to be a sad depressed anxious mess on the tl :/ i don’t want to spread my bullshit or become burdensome because im a mess so.#idk anyway love y’all#i’ll b deleting this lately but#for those who always see these posts thanks and i adore u and i appreciate u for always caring
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Ah, let me check this one thing on my phone real quick—
*opens tiktok*
*closes tiktok*
*opens reddit*
*closes reddit*
*starts playing tetris*
*remembers I wanted to check when the next episode of the series I’m watching airs*
*closes google*
*opens tiktok*
#my posts#ADHD#quiet on set#someone fucking help#the only reason j remermed was because I looked up and my tracking sheet was open#also have any of y’all watch Quiet on Set yet?#that shit is so depressing#idk why I (a victim of CSA) choose to watch it#like… I’m already down#did I have to make myself MORE depressed???#idk#did I mention I’m at work?
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Me to y’all because I haven’t written a full fic in more than a month.
#ཐི♡ཋྀ nic’s nonsense#no but fr do y’all fuck with me#I hope you do#cause I’m just a silly girl in a silly world trying to write about an average traumatized white man#I’m just depressed sorry
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So I decided to take a few different autism assessments online just to see like the probability that I might be, and as I’m answering the questions I’m trying to think back to my childhood too and I keep coming up with “oh damn I was like that wasn’t I?” Or “Yep I definitely did that I just never thought twice about it” and yeeeah my scores on all these tests are much higher than I even anticipated 🙃🙃🙃
#I mean the more and more I look into it. the more it makes sense#like no mom I wasn’t just a shy depressed teen I’m fucking autistic#y’all just never paid close enough attention to notice because as long as I got good grades and wasn’t a delinquent#nothing else mattered 👍🏻#but also#I’ve ALWAYS thought my mom was autistic#so I mean. it makes sense that she or anyone else in my family wouldn’t notice it about me#when she herself was never diagnosed and therefore never got the support she needed#but ooooh lordt my youngest male cousin had delayed speech development#so eeeeveryone was on top of getting him evaluated and diagnosed 🙄#which is hilarious because his mom. my aunt. is my mom’s twin!!#so like. I hate to break it to you fam. but uh.#looks like it runs in the family ✌🏻#autism#autistic#self diagnosed autism#Karly overshares
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cleaned all the stickers and dust and roach leavings and rat piss off my mirror.
no longer a dirty kid in a dirty mirror. this feels like character growth.
#that last house was really bad y’all#it’s not really til we left that I realized how bad#we picked up so it was an organized depression nest#but with rats and roaches there’s just no way to combat the damage fast enough#like I’m sure I smelled#I was just nose-blind to it#crustpunk af but I thought I left all that behind when I stopped being homeless#my partner and I are slowly crawling out of the hole we were in together#the new house has monthly pest control#and we’re actually organizing it so everything is useable and accessible#we’re using habitica to build chore schedules because we both have shit memory and executive function#it’s hard#but I think we can have a home we aren’t ashamed of#fuck the old landlord tho he ran a fuckin slum house and is trying to come back at us for the damages#bitch you never fixed anything#our a/c was window vents shoved in a hole in the wall#the carpet was old and dirty when we got it#how dare you act like we’re the only problem here#we also haven’t been on a lease for 3 years so idk what this dumb asshole thinks will happen if he takes us to court#like I think keeping our security deposit is fair but fuck you on the rest of it#we cleaned the shit outta that place it’s just the carpet that needs replacing#THE HEAT WAS TWO RV HEATERS STUCK ON THE WALL SCOTT#you fucking slumlord#personal#cash yells in the tags because therapy is expensive
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