#it’s fucking depressing y’all
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every now and then in the midst of the most deranged garbage you’ve ever watched when californication gets actually very very sad 🫠
#keep thinking about karen telling hank ‘angel i love you so SO much’ and then weeping#and hank saying ‘i can’t stay. i can’t stay.’ and her ‘i know.’#and when he goes back in the house and becca just looks at him and KNOWS he’s leaving. and tells him it’s okay. hugs her dad goodbye.#it’s fucking depressing y’all#it’s like a combination of his past mistakes/choices and his addictions and his own personal flaws and failings#that just keep him from ever actually being able to show up for them and they are just TRAPPED.#and for as much posturing as the show can do about what a super cool genius last Real Man hank is#i think it does know that he’s fucking destroying his family. ‘his girls.’#and they cannot escape!! they will forever cling to the potential of the partner/father they know on good days!!!#and it IS sad when the show inevitably pulls back to expose the damage being done. how for every funny or sexy tryst or escapade there’s#the only people he loves weeping on the porch#anyway. it’s the worst television show ever made i literally want to be watching it 24 hours a day#californication
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Some interesting similarities between the forms of Falling Devil and Darkness Devil.
There’s the use of multiple bodies to create a singular form, the angular shapes, the mantis-leg-like appendages, the sheer height.
These two also share very strong hand motifs, which makes sense for both of them: when it’s dark, you have to feel your way around, usually with your hands; when you’re falling, you try to grab onto something with your hands.
I’m curious to see if the other Primals look anything like these two.
#chainsaw man#csm 123#csm meta#darkness devil#falling devil#csm spoilers#csm manga spoilers#csm part 2 spoilers#csm 123 spoilers#there isn’t a particular Point to this post really but#I just enjoy the symbolism Fujimoto has in his designs#like. how the fuck do you physicalize the fear of darkness. or falling. they’re both concepts characterized by absence.#also the fact that darkness and falling are both metaphors for despair/depression#saying you’re in a dark place or your heart dropped/sank or that you’re in a deep dark hole#Fujimoto you’ve done it again!!!#body horror cw#oryginals#ACK forgot alt text sorry y’all I fixed it
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trying to explain to other otasune fans that snake is NOT the one with internalized homophobia in their coupling
#y’all see a a slightly smaller man in the queer ship and make him your femboy out and proud twink yas queen#and he got raised by kaz#the fruit ever#he is caught up and knowledgeable about queer terminology#I don’t think he’s like open about it cause military but i think it’s the least of his issues#Otacon tho???#the guy with the dad who instilled fear of weakness inside him#and a mom who ended up marrying a man despite being in lovr with a woman and being really depressed#and then getting groomed by his step mom#and got a weird inferiority complex about all of that which related to the wah he finds piece in manga and anime#he can calls himself a loser and weak by his own interests and not by the more serious things he doesn’t want to examine#the way he talks about snake in the games and novels like he wants him so badly but refuses to every actually tell him#he wants them to be a family but the connotation to family to him is so fucked up#he tells himself that snake knows what he’s thinking because he knows what’s snake thinking but snake doesn’t#the scene where he sleeps with Naomi on the night snake is leaving for his suicide mission??#LIKE???#mgs#otasune#snotacon#snavid#otacon#mgs otacon#metal gear solid
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But these soldiers were not faceless to me, each man quickly forged his own personality, I still think of my second-in-command, CC-2224 — who I called “Commander Cody” — with a great fondness.
I miss him to this day. Even though he eventually tried to kill me.
#codywan#comic redraw#commander cody#212th attack battalion#obiwan kenobi#clone wars fanart#the clone wars#star wars fan art#clone wars#star wars#cc 2224#captora art#comic redraw because I’m artblocked as fuck#sorry to make y’all depressed
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I have a lot of opinions on fanon Tim. I am a fanon!Tim Drake anti. I’ve never been an anti of anything before, but I am very anti fanon!Tim Drake. He’s basically just a Mary Sue, but it’s worse because Tim Drake is a real canon character who is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING. What the fuck did y’all do to him. Why can’t you just project your childhood trauma on a self insert like the rest of the internet. Look at him! You could replace him with a single packing peanut, and I couldn’t even tell the difference!
#personal#anti tim drake#same goes for the Angry Robin Dick Grayson truthers#I like angry angst teenagers turned depressed sunshine adults as much as someone who is very much exactly that can#but y’all can’t just slap an emotion on a character and make it their entire personality#same goes for Stephanie and Purple#give my girl back her personality#she’s literally my favorite of the bat clan#but they are what fan fiction is#fanon Tim is just The Worse because there’s like virtually trace of canon tim in there#it’s like y’all saw two panels of an event#then completely bs’d everything revolving around it#IM LOOKING AT YOU#DAMIAN CUT TIM’S LINE FIC AUTHORS#ACKNOWLEDGE TIM’S PARANOID HIT LIST YOU COWARDS#WHY DOES NO ONE EVER WRITE ABOUT HIM PUTTING DAMIAN ON A HIT LIST#DAMIAN FUCKING CRIED#HE IS A GODDAMN CHILD#dc
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the writers on here making the miguel fics need to remember his fangs inject paralytic venom hes not a real vampire it was just a joke in the movie 😭
oh but i still want him to bite me don’t get me wrong idgaf if they have venom 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
#the copious amounts of smut i’ve seen with this man and the fangs is crazy#y’all need to tone it DOWN wheres the fluff omg??#there’s like so many smut x reader fics clogging the miguel o’hara tag and people can express their creative liberties or whatever but it’s#getting CRAZY#like why is almost nobody talking about his character and writing an analysis on him#AND WHY ARE SO MANY FICS WRITING HIM TO BE SOME FERAL AND MEAN BEAST#firstly it’s feels racist to write a brown latino man that way.#second it feels fetishiz-y with how people only sexualize the fuck outta him and talk about nothing else when it comes to him#to add onto that people are drawing him with a MUZZLE on#at first all this didn’t really register in my head as bad but after seeing so much i see it 😭#also some spanish speakers have said people are using incorrect spanish when writing dialogue for him and thats kinda funny#don’t use google translate please 💀#miguel o’ hara#spiderman 2099#across the spiderverse#i also saw someone say miguel would not be a good partner or something and i just know you didn’t pay attention#and i wont go into why because its spoilers but we have seen him be soft and happy with someone he cares about it’s just trauma that has#made him mean and depressed#he was obviously projecting onto miles in the movie when he acted like that let’s be fr#why am i writing a novel down here idk i just wanted to talk about it a little#i love the smut (trust me) but pleaaseee don’t start being fetishize-y
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ok I know we talk a lot about the love confession lines and the “rotting former first mate” line and all that but can we PLEASE talk about “you know what he did when I told him I loved him? he shot me.” BECAUSE OH MY GODDDDD WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. INSANE FUCKING LINE.
#JESUS CHRISTTT#I know ed shooting him wasn’t like. directly correlated to the love confession in reality but STILL#JESUS FUCK WHAT A LINE. OUGH.#ESPECIALLY because he speaks that line to STEDE?????#like. fucking. openly telling the man who stole the love of your life ‘hey he hated me for loving him. btw. Hope y’all are happy tho’#WHAT THE FUCK#how. how do you even move on in your relationship after hearing homie’s ex say that to you. like oh my god#it’s so fucking agonizingly tragic. izzy is so fucking tragic#the tragedy of his acceptance. of knowing that ed doesn’t love him anymore and that they will only poison each other.#but that ed still gets to be happy. he finally got to be happy and he’s finally truly in love with someone but it’s not him. it’s not izzy.#he could have been capable of that kind of love. but never for izzy#and izzy just has to ACCEPT that. he DOES accept it. and that is so incredibly fucking depressing#he just has to watch the man he loves move on. after hurting izzy so much. he gets to be happy#and he still loves him. he still loves him.#izzy hands#ofmd#blackhands
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“Don’t you ever miss being a child?” “You had so much free time as a kid!” “You’ll never experience a Christmas class party again” no I absolutely do NOT miss being a child. Your childhood and my childhood? They do not equate. Our experiences are not fucking universal. I don’t know what kind of childhood YOU had but if I woke up one day and found myself 7 years old again??? I would jump off the fucking roof. What do you mean you want to be a kid again? Like what do you MEAN? It certainly can’t be what you think it means. Listen. Right now I can order Wingstop Parmesan Garlic Tenders with as much Blue Cheese Sauce as I want with my OWN money and NO ONE can give me shit about it and I can DRIVE MYSELF there. Hell I could walk myself there! Do I miss being a CHILD? Do I miss existing as a being with no autonomy and at the mercy of adults who should know better? God know. Fuck no. I love being an adult. I fucking love it. Life started for me at nineteen. Every day I wake up absolutely PUMPED that I survived that batshit insane period of my life. If you genuinely wish you could be a child again, you’re doing something wrong with your adult life now.
#but that’s just me 💅🏽#I think what y’all are actually trying to say#is that you want to feel whimsy or wonder again#a lot of you fucks are like ‘the world used to be so colorful’#it still can be!#you know more now as an adult and the world is tainted because of that knowledge#but that just means you have to actively make your little part of the world better#being kind to people and looking around at the world and saying yeah it might not be so vibrant but it’s real#it’s life#this is coming from a person who fully has depression and hates their fucking job#maybe if you let go of wanting to be a kid again you can embrace who you are now you fucking donuts
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@thecrazyalchemist @touslin @i-eat-so-much-grass @homocidalpotat @angsty-worm
@butter-is-bored @wendig1rl @ashthenerdtheythem @catinasink @mybedroomceilingsbored
@boba-pearl @bleep-bloop-boo @obsessingoverl
#y’all I really vibe with his “everyone thinks he’s all happy and sunshine and rainbows#But really he is really fucking depressed” :D#Poll
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been struggling a lot lately and seeing ryans story today made me feel less alone, as well as reading so many of y’all’s stories <3
#that was very brave of him#ryan guzman#i’m not really in a place to take my own advice atm#but i would care and i would miss y’all if you weren’t around#life is really fucking hard sometimes y’all#depression tw#depression thoughts#tw sui ideation
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Ah, let me check this one thing on my phone real quick—
*opens tiktok*
*closes tiktok*
*opens reddit*
*closes reddit*
*starts playing tetris*
*remembers I wanted to check when the next episode of the series I’m watching airs*
*closes google*
*opens tiktok*
#my posts#ADHD#quiet on set#someone fucking help#the only reason j remermed was because I looked up and my tracking sheet was open#also have any of y’all watch Quiet on Set yet?#that shit is so depressing#idk why I (a victim of CSA) choose to watch it#like… I’m already down#did I have to make myself MORE depressed???#idk#did I mention I’m at work?
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i’ve basically been having a month long mental breakdown but i miss u babes a lot
#this whole saturn return thing is… hm.#a few significant life things changed and it threw me for a fucking loop and honestly still is#i’ve been broke and depressed and miserable and anxious#honestly still struggling with my whole being but hey. i’m trying to be a person.#i don’t like to be a sad depressed anxious mess on the tl :/ i don’t want to spread my bullshit or become burdensome because im a mess so.#idk anyway love y’all#i’ll b deleting this lately but#for those who always see these posts thanks and i adore u and i appreciate u for always caring
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So I decided to take a few different autism assessments online just to see like the probability that I might be, and as I’m answering the questions I’m trying to think back to my childhood too and I keep coming up with “oh damn I was like that wasn’t I?” Or “Yep I definitely did that I just never thought twice about it” and yeeeah my scores on all these tests are much higher than I even anticipated 🙃🙃🙃
#I mean the more and more I look into it. the more it makes sense#like no mom I wasn’t just a shy depressed teen I’m fucking autistic#y’all just never paid close enough attention to notice because as long as I got good grades and wasn’t a delinquent#nothing else mattered 👍🏻#but also#I’ve ALWAYS thought my mom was autistic#so I mean. it makes sense that she or anyone else in my family wouldn’t notice it about me#when she herself was never diagnosed and therefore never got the support she needed#but ooooh lordt my youngest male cousin had delayed speech development#so eeeeveryone was on top of getting him evaluated and diagnosed 🙄#which is hilarious because his mom. my aunt. is my mom’s twin!!#so like. I hate to break it to you fam. but uh.#looks like it runs in the family ✌🏻#autism#autistic#self diagnosed autism#Karly overshares
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cleaned all the stickers and dust and roach leavings and rat piss off my mirror.
no longer a dirty kid in a dirty mirror. this feels like character growth.
#that last house was really bad y’all#it’s not really til we left that I realized how bad#we picked up so it was an organized depression nest#but with rats and roaches there’s just no way to combat the damage fast enough#like I’m sure I smelled#I was just nose-blind to it#crustpunk af but I thought I left all that behind when I stopped being homeless#my partner and I are slowly crawling out of the hole we were in together#the new house has monthly pest control#and we’re actually organizing it so everything is useable and accessible#we’re using habitica to build chore schedules because we both have shit memory and executive function#it’s hard#but I think we can have a home we aren’t ashamed of#fuck the old landlord tho he ran a fuckin slum house and is trying to come back at us for the damages#bitch you never fixed anything#our a/c was window vents shoved in a hole in the wall#the carpet was old and dirty when we got it#how dare you act like we’re the only problem here#we also haven’t been on a lease for 3 years so idk what this dumb asshole thinks will happen if he takes us to court#like I think keeping our security deposit is fair but fuck you on the rest of it#we cleaned the shit outta that place it’s just the carpet that needs replacing#THE HEAT WAS TWO RV HEATERS STUCK ON THE WALL SCOTT#you fucking slumlord#personal#cash yells in the tags because therapy is expensive
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#something I super enjoy about BL stories is how unabashedly these stories are created and written#something a lot of gls are missing too#which is depressing because I prefer gl#but you won’t find a guy fucking the ghost of his first love who he lost contact with ages before#and only saw again at the funeral anywhere else#this story is wild too because at first the mc was like uuuh this is weird#and now he’s like ‘how do I keep my ghost boyfriend around forever?’#also mayhaps the ghost boyfriend did some like#soul exchange when they were like 10 to save the MCs life#and the mc doesn’t remember#y’all pls why don’t more gl or even straight couples have this kind of energy?#I’ve read a COUPLE straight manga that are similarly unhinged but not many#but like this is the shit I live for it’s so entertaining#and I’m invested
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I’m like one manic episode away from becoming a furry ngl
#tw vent?#I guess#tw mania#I used to not say anything on this blog but fuck it#who gives a shit y’all are mature you can not take on my shit#may or may not just bought a set of ears tail and collar#like omg the 2014 Instagram era of like fuckin depressing ass heavy captions on Tumblr repost meme accounts#anyway#honestly I just need to consistently shower take my meds clean and stop smoking weed and I’ll be fine#BUT#I have something wrong with my brain I gotta work around#eheh
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