#honestly still struggling with my whole being but hey. i’m trying to be a person.

[stardust-kitten]

i’ve basically been having a month long mental breakdown but i miss u babes a lot

[mercillery]

Can you do the yandere alphabet for Julius and Lucius?

WARNINGS: GENDER NOT SPECIFIED + YANDERE THEMES + NOT PROOFREAD

NOTES: Anon, I’m gonna be honest with you—I haven’t written for Lucius in so long I lowkey kind of struggled for his part…so sorry about that ❤️‍🩹

JULIUS NOVACHRONO

A = Affection (How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?)

Julius is a naturally affectionate guy, no doubt about it. But as a yandere? Oh, he cranks that up to eleven. He’s not just attentive; he’s hyper-attentive, to the point where you might start wondering if he’s somehow become omnipresent. His affection goes beyond sweet gestures and into full-on "I need to know you’re okay every single second" territory. He’s always there, making sure you’re comfortable, cared for, and wrapped up in his Time Magic like some magical security blanket. The man’s like your personal space heater—but, you know, with magic.

And if we’re being real here, he’s not shy about physical affection either. He’s always reaching for your hand, brushing your hair out of your face, or hugging you like you’re going to vanish if he lets go. It’s sweet, but it’s also a little intense—like he’s trying to make sure you don’t forget for even a second that you’re his. Honestly, it's like the guy can’t breathe without you nearby, which is pretty ironic considering he’s the Wizard King with control over time. He could literally freeze a moment and stretch it out forever, but nope, he’s right there, all up in your business 24/7.

But here’s the thing: his affection, while overwhelming, is never meant to be suffocating. He genuinely means well; he’s just so head over heels that he’s a bit clueless about how overbearing it comes off. He’s like a puppy who doesn’t realize he’s grown into a full-sized dog and keeps trying to fit in your lap. It’s not that he’s trying to smother you; it’s just that he’s so wrapped up in his feelings that he can’t handle the idea of being apart from you for even a nanosecond. He might be the ruler of time, but when it comes to you, every moment feels like a lifetime without your presence.

B = Blood (How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?)

Julius does absolutely everything in his power to avoid physical violence; he’s the kind of yandere who prefers to get what he wants through clever manipulation and the strategic use of his magic. He’s got that "I’d rather talk it out" energy, or maybe "I’d rather warp time and rearrange the situation until it works in my favor" kind of vibe. Bloodshed? That’s like, plan Z—wayyyyyyyy at the bottom of the list of options. He’s not eager to see anyone hurt, especially since, despite the whole obsessive yandere thing, the guy still has a heart. It’s just a heart that happens to be laser-focused on you. But hey, at least he’s consistent, right?

Even in his yandere state, he’s still compassionate and empathetic; he genuinely believes violence isn’t the answer. It’s like he’s trying to show that even with his unhealthy levels of obsession, he can still hold on to some of that Wizard King morality. But, and it’s a big but, if it ever came down to it—like if he really had no other choice, if every possible peaceful method had failed—then yeah, he’d resort to violence. He’d do it swiftly, though. Julius isn’t the type to let things get messy; he’d use his time magic to make it quick and painless, like pulling off a band-aid (a magical band-aid, mind you).

It’s not that he wants to spill blood; it’s more like he’d do whatever it takes to protect what’s most important to him: you. And if that means ensuring anyone who threatens you is out of the picture, well, he’s got the power to handle it discreetly. He’s not about to let things get dramatic or drawn-out. In his mind, if it must be done, it’s going to be done efficiently, with as little suffering as possible. He’s still got that compassionate side buried in there—just wrapped up in a whole lot of obsession.

C = Cruelty (How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?)

Honestly, kidnapping isn’t Julius’s style—even in yandere mode. The guy’s all about playing the long game, keeping things friendly, and working his charm. He’s got that Wizard King charisma, and he’d much rather convince you with sweet words and acts of kindness than snatch you up and lock you away. But, alright, let’s imagine he does resort to kidnapping—because, you know, the question calls for it.

If Julius were to kidnap you, it would be the most polite, gentle kidnapping imaginable. You’d almost be confused, like, “Wait, am I being kidnapped, or am I on a really weird vacation?” He wouldn’t be rude, mocking, or condescending—no, no, that’s not how he treats his beloved. Why would he ever speak harshly to you? You’re the person he cherishes above all else. So instead, he’s all smiles and soft words, doing his best to make the whole situation seem as un-scary as possible. It’s almost unsettling how sweet he is about the whole thing—like, you know something’s not right, but at the same time, how could someone so gentle and caring be the bad guy here?

At first, he might go a little overboard with the pampering, trying to ease you into the situation and get you comfortable. He knows what he’s done doesn’t sit right with you because, you know, kidnapping is usually a red flag, so he’s on a mission to prove that it’s not as bad as it seems. Expect all the royal treatment��meals brought to you, cozy blankets, books, and entertainment, anything to make you feel comfortable and safe. It’s almost like he’s overcompensating, trying to fill the awkwardness of the situation with as much affection and care as possible.

In his eyes, he’s just doing what’s necessary to get you past any fears you might have of him. But here’s the kicker: he’s so nice about it that it makes you question everything. It’s like he’s trying to rewrite the narrative of kidnapping itself—“Oh, you’re not my captive; you’re my honored guest!” And throughout it all, he remains respectful, patient, and kind, making it clear that no matter how strange things are, he’d never dream of being cruel to you. In his mind, if he’s as gentle and caring as possible, you’ll come to accept his affection and eventually see things his way.

D = Darling (Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?)

Like I mentioned just now, Julius isn’t the type to jump straight to abduction. He’s all about patience and subtlety. But, okay, if we’re diving into this hypothetical where he does kidnap you, it’s a bit more complicated. The thing is, it’s all about time—fitting for someone with Time Magic, right? At first, he’s going to do the classic yandere thing: take away your will (and ability) to leave. No sneaking out, no slipping away when he’s not looking. You’re basically stuck, and he makes sure of that. He might not be thrilled about it, but he’s too concerned and worried to let you out of his sight at first. You’re kept safely in his space, just like any other yandere would do.

But here’s where things get interesting. As time goes on—because, hey, no one’s as good with time as Julius—he’s watching you closely. He’s waiting for that moment when you start to calm down, to settle into the situation, and maybe even… accept it? He’s hoping that as you mellow out and get more comfortable around him, you’ll start to relax. And once he sees that, he’ll start to loosen his grip. Slowly, he’ll give you back a little bit of freedom, like easing off the brakes after a long stop.

It’s not because he wants to keep you locked away forever. No, deep down, Julius wants you to be free—he really does. He’s not one of those yanderes who thrives on control just for control’s sake. But the problem is, he can’t risk losing you. The thought of you just up and leaving one day? Terrifying. That’s why he kidnaps you in the first place. He can’t take any chances.

Once he’s confident that you’re not going to bolt the second he lets you out of his sight, he’ll start letting you do things on your own again. Maybe you get to wander the streets alone, maybe you can hit up your favorite shops or go about your day-to-day life—just with one little catch. He’s still watching, of course. You might not see him, but trust me, he’s keeping tabs. There’s always going to be that sense that you’re not totally free, but hey, at least you can stretch your legs a little, right?

Of course, privacy is another story. Even when you get your freedom back, he’s always going to know where you are and what you’re doing. It’s like he’s given you a leash, and though it’s longer now, it’s still there. So, freedom? Kind of. Privacy? Not a chance.

E = Exposed (How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?)

Oh, this man is exposed—and not in the typical yandere "I'm hiding my true nature" kind of way. No, Julius is out here practically wearing his heart on his sleeve, and honestly, it's almost a little surprising for a yandere. You'd expect someone in his position to keep up a facade, maybe hide behind his usual charm and playful attitude, but nope. He only keeps up his playful and charm facade in public—you know, as the Wizard King. But with you, he drops that mask like it’s nothing, and what you see is raw, unfiltered Julius. He lets you in on his biggest fears, especially when it comes to losing you, and trust me, he's very open about how much he loves you. Like, almost too open. You might even find yourself thinking, "Wait, is this guy trying to guilt-trip me? Am I supposed to feel bad for him right now?"

And look, with most yanderes, you’d probably be right to assume that—emotional manipulation is kind of their bread and butter. But not Julius. When I say he’s exposed, I mean really exposed. He’s not out here playing any mind games; he’s just laying it all out there, hoping you understand how much you mean to him. No deception, no schemes—just pure, unfiltered sincerity. It’s like he thinks, “Hey, if we’re going to be together, we’re going to be real with each other,” and he genuinely believes that.

Sure, it might come off a bit intense. I mean, how often do you meet someone who's so emotionally vulnerable they could basically be the poster child for a heart-to-heart conversation? But that’s just how he is with you. You’re his lover now, and in his mind, that means no more walls, no more pretending. It’s just him, being 100% honest with his feelings, whether you’re ready for that level of sincerity or not.

It’s not about guilt-tripping, and it's definitely not about manipulation. Julius genuinely just wants you to understand that when he says he loves you, he means it with every fiber of his being. So while most yanderes might use their emotions as a weapon, Julius is over here treating them like an open book—one he’s inviting you to read cover to cover.

F = Fight (How would they feel if their darling fought back?)

Oh, this man is absolutely HURT. And not just the "ouch, you hurt my feelings" kind of hurt, but the deep, soul-crushing, "why are you doing this to me when all I want is to love and protect you?" type of hurt. You can practically see the disappointment etched all over his face, but it's mostly that emotional pain that gets to him. You fighting back? It genuinely confuses him. In his mind, he’s doing everything out of love—so why would you resist?

But let me be clear: Julius isn’t the type to snap or lash out if you push back. Oh no, he’s not going to raise his voice, throw a tantrum, or get violent. That’s not his style. Instead, he’ll let out this sad sigh, maybe give you that look—you know, the one that makes you feel like you just kicked a puppy. Then, without any harshness, he’ll calmly use his magic to gently subdue you. No roughness, no aggression, just disappointment. It’s like he’s saying, “Why are we even doing this? Can’t we just love each other in peace?”

Julius is all about keeping things gentle. Even when he’s feeling emotionally wrecked, he’ll never resort to anything violent or extreme to get you back under control. He’ll probably just freeze time around you for a bit, just enough to calm things down, then softly talk you through it. It’s all about creating this sense of, “Hey, I’m not mad, I’m just hurt—and we can work through this.” Sure, you might not like it, but at least he’s not out here going full yandere psycho.

But make no mistake—while he’s being gentle, he will put you back in your place. He’s got the power to do it without breaking a sweat, but he’s so emotionally invested in you that he won’t cross any lines. You’ll be subdued, but it’ll be like being gently pushed into place by someone who’s more disappointed in the fact that this is even necessary. So yeah, you’re not getting away with fighting back, but at least you can count on Julius being as soft as possible about it—just enough to remind you who’s in control, but never enough to make you fear him.

G = Game (Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?)

It’s definitely not a game to Julius. He takes your relationship seriously—obsessively so. But hey, he wouldn’t be totally honest if he said he didn’t feel at least a tiny bit of amusement when you try to outsmart him. There’s this little flicker of curiosity in him, a sense of, “Oh? What are they going to try next?” It’s almost like watching a puzzle unfold, and Julius can’t help but be intrigued by how you’re going to maneuver through the situation. He won’t admit it outright, but there’s definitely a small part of him that finds your attempts to outwit him... well, kind of entertaining.

That said, don’t think for a second that he sees this as a game. It’s not. He values the relationship way too much to treat it like some kind of cat-and-mouse chase. Julius is all about balance, and even though he might find your cleverness interesting, he’s not going to encourage it. He’s got that Wizard King mentality—risk is not something he likes to play with, even with all the Time Magic at his disposal. To him, this relationship is way too important to leave anything to chance.

But here’s where it gets tricky: Julius is confident. Like, really confident. Not the cocky type of confident—but just normal confident, you know? He knows that, no matter how clever you get, he’s got the ultimate ace up his sleeve—his control over time. That means, in his mind, you can try whatever you want, and he’ll still ensure your inevitable return. It’s not arrogance, exactly; it’s more like he knows that no matter how far you wander, he has the means to bring you back to him. So in a way, he’s fine with giving you a bit of freedom, letting you try to outsmart him here and there, because deep down, he’s certain the outcome won’t change.

It’s almost like watching a chess match when you already know how it’s going to end. Sure, it’s fun to see the moves, but in the end, he’s always a few steps ahead. So, while he might find a bit of enjoyment in seeing what you’ll try next, there’s never any real doubt in his mind that you’ll end up right where he wants you—right by his side.

H = Hell (What would be their darling's worst experience with them?)

Remember how I said Julius is gentle when it comes to putting you back in your place? Yeah, well, don’t let that fool you into thinking his gentleness doesn’t pack a punch. Sure, he’s not violent or harsh, but you’ve gotta keep in mind that the man’s literally the Wizard King. He’s got the power to make “gentle” feel a lot heavier than it sounds.

So let’s say you’ve made a habit of trying to escape. Julius, being the master of Time Magic, isn’t going to get aggressive. Nope. Instead, he gets creative in the worst possible way. Picture this: every time you defy him, every time you make a break for it, he uses his magic to create a loop, forcing you to relive that moment of rebellion over and over again. At first, you might think, "Okay, I can handle this. What’s a little time loop?” But trust me, you can’t. It’s way more than you bargained for.

It’s not just about repeating the same moment. Over time, it wears you down in every way. Mentally, you start feeling like there’s no way out. Emotionally, it’s draining—going through the same motions, only to have him bring you right back to square one. Physically, it takes its toll too, even if you're just walking in circles or struggling to escape. And hey, maybe even spiritually, it’s exhausting, like your soul just can’t take the weight of being stuck in this endless loop of defiance.

For Julius, this isn’t cruelty for the sake of it. In his mind, it’s necessary. It’s a “lesson,” a way to show you that no matter how hard you try, there’s no escaping him. It’s his way of teaching you that resistance is futile—literally. And the worst part? He’s not angry while doing it. He’s just calmly, almost lovingly, reminding you of your place. There’s something deeply unsettling about being punished by someone who seems to genuinely believe they’re helping you.

It’s honestly a terrifying reminder of just how powerless you are against his magic. No matter how gentle he is, the message is clear: you can’t escape him, and the more you try, the more exhausted you’ll become. He’ll make sure you understand that lesson, even if it takes a few dozen loops to get there.

I = Ideals (What kind of future do they have in mind for/ with their darling?)

His ideal world? It’s actually pretty simple when you break it down. Sure, he’s got all the time magic and the responsibilities of the kingdom, but when it comes to you, Julius just wants the domestic dream. You, him, together, living a peaceful life where you accept your role as his partner, both emotionally and practically. He doesn’t envision you as someone kept in the shadows or locked away—he wants you to understand what he does, to support him, and to see that this life he’s offering is the best option for the two of you.

And in his mind, it’s not even a question of if you’ll come around, but when. Time is his best ally, after all. Julius believes that with enough time, you’ll start to see things his way. You’ll realize that being with him is not just an option, it’s the best option. The future he sees is one where you’re both bonded in every way—physically, emotionally, spiritually—living that calm, domestic life, side by side.

He’s not asking for much, right? Just the “usual” life, where you’re always with him, supporting his duties, and, in return, he’ll give you the world—or, you know, as much of the world as the Wizard King can offer. In his mind, that’s the kind of future anyone would want. And with a little patience and a lot of time magic, he’s convinced you’ll want it too.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?)

Julius is definitely prone to jealousy, but he’s not the type to let it spiral into a whole dramatic scene. He’s mature and composed about it, like the seasoned Wizard King he is. I mean, he’s not the kind of guy who’s going to throw a fit or give the death stare to every person who gets a little too friendly with you. He’s got enough self-assurance to know that your relationship is solid and safe in his very capable, time-bending hands.

Honestly, it’s not like jealousy hits him often. He trusts you and he’s confident enough in himself and his connection with you that it takes a lot to push him over that line. When those little pangs of envy do strike, he doesn’t lash out or lose his cool. Instead, he just kind of… silently acknowledges it and then moves on, letting it wash over him like, “Okay, that’s a thing I’m feeling, but it’s fine. We’re fine.” You might not even notice he’s feeling jealous because he keeps it so well under wraps.

Listen, it’s all about that quiet confidence of his. He knows he’s got the power to keep you with him—figuratively and literally. So while others might lose their temper over jealousy, he’s just sitting there like, “Yeah, no. We’re good.” He’s not worried about someone else swooping in and stealing you away because he genuinely believes in the bond you share. And let’s be real, the man who literally controls time doesn’t exactly feel threatened by much!

K = Kisses (How do they act around or with their darling?)

When you’re around, Julius is just his normal self—just dialed up a notch in the affection department. He’s the same charming, approachable, and easygoing Wizard King everyone knows and respects, but he’s not shy about showing how much he cares for you. It’s not over-the-top to the point where people are rolling their eyes or muttering, “Here they go again.” It’s just… obvious. He’ll casually hold your hand, rest his arm around your shoulders, or throw in a little inside joke that only you two get. It’s enough to make it clear to anyone watching that you’re his, but not enough to be cringe-inducing or awkward for everyone else in the room.

He’s like the poster child for “affectionate but not obnoxious.” People might smile or whisper about how sweet he is with you, but no one’s rolling their eyes or feeling like they need to fake gag. It’s that perfectly balanced PDA that everyone tolerates.

And as for those Yandere tendencies? Forget about it. He’s the picture of a dream man, an ideal partner, always smiling and attentive but not in a creepy way. Nothing about him screams "possessive" or "obsessive." He keeps all those intense feelings and thoughts hidden behind that charming, easygoing demeanor. He’s got his act down so well that even if someone tried to accuse him of being overprotective or controlling, people would probably just laugh it off.

To the world, he’s just an affectionate, doting boyfriend who’s got everything under control—nothing weird or suspicious here! He’s smooth enough to let his true nature simmer beneath the surface, showing you and only you the full extent of his obsession, but making sure everyone else just sees the charming man in love.

L = Love letters (How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?)

Julius’s way of courting is like a masterclass in emotional intelligence. He doesn’t just bombard you with generic “I love you” messages or flashy gestures. No, he’s way more refined and strategic than that. Julius takes the time to understand you—your likes, your interests, your worries, and what makes you tick. And then he crafts these thoughtful, personalized notes that feel like they’re speaking directly to your soul. His letters are beautifully written, almost poetic, without being over-the-top or insincere. He knows just the right words to weave a connection between you two, slowly and subtly drawing you closer to him.

It’s not all grand declarations and roses either. Julius is perceptive and precise; he doesn’t miss a beat. If you ever try to pull away or distance yourself, he doesn’t panic or lash out. Instead, he sends letters expressing his regret, his sorrow at the growing gap between you. It’s not a guilt trip—it’s more like he’s quietly reaching out, saying, “I miss you, and I hope we can find our way back to each other.” It’s disarming in its sincerity and vulnerability, and it makes it that much harder to actually break away from him. He’s not aggressively pulling you back; he’s inviting you to return willingly.

Outside of these carefully crafted letters? He’s just your regular Julius Novachrono. Friendly, approachable, with that same easygoing charm. He doesn’t overwhelm you with constant affection in public or try to flaunt your relationship. To everyone else, it just seems like he’s a genuinely considerate and charming man. No one would guess he’s meticulously planning every word and action to keep you close—he just seems like the perfect partner. But behind every letter and every carefully chosen phrase is that obsessive, love struck side quietly steering the ship.

M = Mask (Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?)

Julius’s true nature is like flipping a coin—one side is the easygoing, jovial Magic Emperor that everyone knows and admires, and the other is a deeply obsessive partner behind closed doors. In public, he’s got his act down to a science. He’s charming, approachable, and always smiling. People see the relaxed, carefree Wizard King who’s both a competent leader and a friendly face. He laughs easily, cracks jokes, and offers that reassuring presence everyone relies on. You wouldn’t suspect a thing from the way he interacts with his captains and citizens—just the same old Julius, with no hint of his hidden intensity.

But when it’s just the two of you, the other side of that coin comes out. He’s still mostly the same Julius, but now the mask is off, and his affection is turned all the way up. He’s more touchy, more attentive, and definitely more possessive. It’s not like he suddenly becomes a different person, but you can tell there’s an underlying intensity in everything he does. Where he might have just given a casual hand on your shoulder in public, in private, it’s more like a lingering touch, a tighter embrace, or an almost desperate look in his eyes. It’s still Julius, just with an added layer of obsession simmering beneath that calm exterior.

N = Naughty (How would they punish their darling?)

When it comes to punishment, Julius plays the long game—mentally and emotionally. He doesn’t believe in physical harm; it’s just not in his nature. Instead, he uses his Time Magic to create these psychological traps, forcing you to relive arguments or moments of defiance in an endless loop until you eventually break down and comply. Imagine having the same disagreement over and over, with no real sense of how much time has passed or when it might end. It’s subtle, but it’s incredibly effective. The exhaustion creeps up on you, making you question your own memory and sanity, and eventually, you’re left with this overwhelming sense of futility.

Julius sees this as a more “humane” form of discipline, almost like he’s gently guiding you back onto the right path rather than punishing you outright. It’s not violent, but it’s still a form of control—a mental cage disguised as an endless rewind button. And if you’re worried about him losing his temper or laying a hand on you? You can let that fear go—because Julius absolutely REFUSES to physically harm you, even in his darkest moments. It’s a line he’s unwilling to cross because, in his mind, what he’s doing isn’t about hurting you—it’s about keeping you safe, teaching you a lesson in a way only he can.

O = Oppression (How many rights would they take away from their darling?)

When it comes to freedoms, Julius’s strategy is all about control and patience. At first, he takes away all your rights and autonomy. He wants to strip away any illusion of independence so you can settle in, and by “settle in”. But here’s the catch: once he notices you’re getting more comfortable—actually comfortable, not just pretending—he’ll slowly start giving you back small pieces of freedom, bit by bit.

Think of it like earning privileges in a really messed-up game of trust. Show him you’re genuinely settling in, and he might let you have more time alone or even go outside under supervision. He wants to see genuine acceptance, not just some facade, and believe me, you’re not fooling this guy. He’ll see right through any fake smiles or acts of devotion. If you think you can just put on a lovey-dovey act to get back your freedoms, you might as well give up now—Julius knows the difference between genuine affection and an Oscar-worthy performance.

In his mind, it’s all about ensuring your “safety” until you can prove to him that you’re truly accepting of this life with him. And once you do? He’ll reward that acceptance with more freedoms. But make no mistake: the leash is always there, even if it gets a little longer over time…

P = Patience (How patient are they with their darling?)

Julius isn’t just patient—he’s exceedingly patient. He’s got all the time in the world, quite literally, and he’s fully aware that winning you over isn’t going to be an overnight thing. He knows you won’t accept his love right away, and he’s perfectly fine with that. In his mind, your resistance is just a temporary obstacle, not a permanent barrier. He believes his persistence will eventually wear you down, like waves gradually eroding a stone. And with his Time Magic, he’s got a pretty big advantage—he can afford to wait you out.

If you’re throwing a tantrum, screaming, or just completely losing it, he won’t get angry or frustrated. Instead, he’ll take it in stride, viewing it as a natural reaction to the situation. Are you crying your eyes out all day, at every hour? As much as it breaks his heart to see you in pain, Julius remains steadfast. He won’t snap or lose his patience—instead, he’ll calmly reassure you, trying his best to soothe you and help you feel comfortable. He doesn’t want to force you to accept his love; he wants you to genuinely come around to it.

In his eyes, all the tears, the anger, and the resistance are just part of the process. It’s all temporary turbulence in a relationship he’s confident will eventually find smooth waters. He’ll wait as long as it takes, and in the meantime, he’s there to comfort you through all of it, always with that patient smile. You might feel like you’re hitting a wall with him, but Julius? He’s got the patience to outlast every outburst, every tear, and every attempt to resist.

Q = Quit (If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?)

If you were to actually die, the heartbreak Julius would feel would be on a catastrophic level—like the man got hit by a million emotional wrecking balls all at once. He might be obsessive, yes, but that doesn’t make his love any less genuine—just more intense. Losing you wouldn’t just hurt him; it would break him. Imagine the Wizard King, the man who leads with a smile and endless charisma, completely shattered because you’re gone. It wouldn’t just be heartbreak—it’d be like his entire world collapsed. He’d probably be so devastated he’d question his own powers, his decisions, everything, and would find himself trapped in a spiral of guilt and despair.

And if you somehow successfully escape? Come on, this is Julius we’re talking about. You might have slipped through his fingers for a moment, but if you think he’s going to let you go just like that, well, that’s a bit naive. He’s the freaking Wizard King with control over time itself—letting you run off into the sunset isn’t exactly on his to-do list. Julius would be devastated, sure—his heart crushed at the idea of losing you. But unlike with your death, where his pain would be immeasurable, escaping just makes him more determined. To him, it’s not an ending—just a setback.

But here’s where things get really intense: Julius isn’t one to just sit back and accept fate. Oh no, he’d bend reality itself to undo whatever it was that took you from him. If you die, he’d rewind time to a point where you’re alive, no matter how many attempts it takes. If you escape, he’d loop back and make sure that door was locked or that your window wasn’t left open—any little thing he might’ve overlooked. In his mind, there’s always a way to fix things, to create the “perfect” outcome where you’re together.

Julius’s obsession runs so deep that he wouldn’t move on, no matter what happened. He believes, with every fiber of his being, that given enough time literally, he can create the future he envisions—one where you’re by his side, no matter the cost. So, if you die or successfully escape, you might think that’s the end of it—but for Julius, it’s just another loop to reset until he gets it right.

R = Regret (Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?)

Julius isn’t entirely blind to the morality of what he’s doing. Deep down, he does feel a sense of regret—not because he’s unsure of his love for you, but because he couldn’t win your heart the way he wanted to, without all these drastic measures. In his perfect world, you’d willingly accept his affection, confine, or control. But reality didn’t work out like that, so here he is, convincing himself that this path is the only way to keep you safe and happy.

Julius rationalizes everything he’s done with a well-intentioned narrative: “It’s for your own good,” or “One day, you’ll see why I had to do this.” He genuinely believes that with enough time, you’ll eventually understand that his actions, no matter how obsessive, were all born from a place of love. And as much as he feels that twinge of guilt, he’s not going to let it change his course of action. Letting you go isn’t an option in his mind—not now, and probably not ever.

Yes, there’s a real heart in there, a genuine, caring part of Julius that’s wracked with guilt over forcing you into this situation. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to set you free. To him, this is the only way to keep you both safe and happy, even if you can’t see it yet. He’s utterly convinced that with time (and, of course, he’s got plenty of that), you’ll come around to understand his love and intentions.

So while he does feel regret, it’s more of a bittersweet acknowledgment that he couldn’t create a perfect love story without pulling some strings. But giving up on you? Absolutely not. In his eyes, this is all just another challenge to overcome—a painful compromise he’s willing to make until you see things his way.

S = Stigma (What brought about this side of them? childhood, curiosity, etc?)

Honestly… it’s hard to pin down exactly where this obsessive side of Julius comes from, but there’s a good chance it ties back to his responsibilities as the Wizard King. Think about it: he spends every waking moment shouldering the weight of an entire kingdom, constantly trying to maintain peace and keep things in balance. That kind of pressure isn’t something you can just shrug off, even if you’re someone as whimsical or carefree as Julius. So maybe, when it comes to you, you represent that rare piece of comfort and genuine connection he craves but feels he can’t attain through his public role.

Being in such a powerful and demanding position, Julius is probably used to people respecting, fearing, or idolizing him—but never really seeing him for who he is underneath all that authority. You’re different, and that’s both exciting and terrifying for him. His obsession might stem from this desire to keep that connection secure, almost like he’s terrified that losing you would mean losing one of the few genuine things in his life.

So in a way, it makes sense that his fixation on you is so intense. You’re not just someone he loves; you’re a refuge from the constant duty and facade he’s forced to maintain. He wants to protect that refuge, even if it means crossing lines or using his power to do so. In his mind, losing you isn’t an option because you’re the one thing in his life that isn’t about being the Wizard King—you’re about being Julius.

Or maybe I’m just reaching for the stars for this one. Who knows.

T = Tears (How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?)

Seeing you cry, scream, or shut yourself away absolutely shatters Julius inside. He’s not blind to your suffering; it affects him deeply, and part of him hates that he’s the reason behind it. But he convinces himself that your pain is just a "necessary step" on the path to a better future together. He’s in denial, really—holding you close, whispering sweet reassurances like, “It’s okay, I’m here,” or, “You’ll see in time, everything will be alright.” Meanwhile, he’s sidestepping the fact that he’s the very cause of this mess.

And your tears? They don’t make him reconsider. In his mind, they’re proof that you’re scared and vulnerable, reinforcing his belief that you need his protection even more. He’s twisted the narrative so tightly around his idea of keeping you safe that your cries and pleas to be left alone only fuel his determination.

So if you try to push him away or tell him to back off, it’s not going to work. He won’t just leave you alone, even if you beg for space. Instead, he’ll double down on the comfort, trying harder to “make you see” that everything he’s doing is for your own good. His reassurances are endless, his grip is unwavering, and his resolve to “protect” you only gets stronger with every tear you shed.

U = Unique (Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?)

Julius’s approach to being a yandere stands out because he steers clear of the classic violent or physically intimidating tactics. Instead, he leans into his mastery of time magic and a softer form of emotional manipulation to create a psychological cage that’s way more sophisticated than a typical yandere’s. He doesn’t need to lock you in a literal room; he’s got the power to make time itself your prison.

What’s even more unique is that, compared to most yanderes, he gradually grants you more freedom. He’s not too keen on the idea of keeping you cooped up forever. As time passes, he’ll give you a longer leash—letting you venture out, make decisions, maybe even regain some semblance of a normal life… sort of. But this freedom is only an illusion because, in reality, his grip remains firm. You may not be physically restrained, but you’re still emotionally and mentally bound by his presence and his magic. So, hooray for a little more freedom… but also, not really!

V = Vice (What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?)

Julius, for all his big-time magic and being basically a living, breathing timepiece, isn’t invincible when it comes to emotional vulnerability. Basically, here’s the small crack in the armor: his need for validation. It might seem like a tiny detail—like discovering Superman’s kryptonite is just a heavy diet of carbs—but it’s key. If you can somehow convince him that you genuinely accept him or pretend, then you’ve got an entry point to start working your own magic. Get him to believe that you’re warming up to him, and you might just worm your way into earning his trust. Once you’re in there, deep in that emotional vault, you’d have more chances to plot an escape.

Of course, this isn’t a one-way ticket to freedom; it’s more like trying to sneak out of a house guarded by both a paranoid watchdog and a CCTV system that can literally rewind time. You’ll have to keep up the act without Julius catching on to any hesitation or cracks in your facade. He’s analytical, and the moment he smells betrayal, it’s game over. But, if you can consistently show that “genuine affection” without letting your poker face slip, you might just get the chance to slip away.

Key word: MIGHT

Just pray you don’t accidentally call him by the wrong name or flinch when he goes in for a hug, or your time pun very much intended will be up.

W = Wit's end (Would they ever hurt their darling?)

Julius? Physically harm you? Not a chance. The idea of laying a finger on you in anger is absolutely out of the question. Julius would genuinely die before he let himself cross that line because in his mind, hurting you physically would shatter the very foundation of his obsession—sorry, I mean, love for you.

That said, mentally? Oof. That’s a different ball game. Julius is a master of time and, unfortunately for you, that means he’s got a lot of tricks up his sleeve that don’t involve lifting a finger. So if he’s at his wit’s end, he might resort to more subtle methods, like trapping you in a disorienting time loop. Imagine having the same conversation on repeat, or worse—reliving that one argument over and over until you feel like your brain’s about to turn into scrambled eggs. It's his twisted way of keeping you in line while convincing himself that he hasn’t really hurt you—at least, not in the traditional sense.

So long story short: Julius? Lay a finger on you? Never. But don’t think for a second he’s not prepared to mess with your head if it means keeping you in his grasp. Because to him, breaking you down mentally isn’t the same as hurting you—it’s just helping you understand how much he cares.

X = Xoanon (How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?)

Julius doesn’t just put you on a pedestal—he practically builds a shrine and lights candles around it. To him, you’re not just the center of his universe; you’re the literal center, the sun to his gravitational pull, the glue holding his timeline together. And when Julius sees someone as his key to happiness and stability, that’s not a casual crush—it’s borderline holy devotion. This man will twist reality itself if it means keeping you happy, comfortable, and—most importantly—by his side.

You’re not just the apple of his eye; you’re the entire orchard. He wants your love, sure, but it’s not just a want; it’s a need. To him, you’re like the keystone in an arch—remove you, and his entire world risks collapse. So he’ll stop at nothing to keep you where you are, locked securely in that special place he’s carved out in his heart and mind. And if he senses you slipping away? Expect reality to bend a little more than usual. “All’s fair in love and time manipulation,” right?

When it comes to winning you over, there’s pretty much nothing he wouldn’t do. Time magic? Check. Reality-bending? Check. Gaslighting reality itself into keeping you by his side? Triple check. Because in the gospel according to Julius, if he can convince you to stay with him forever, then all those sacrifices were just acts of devotion.

Y = Yearn (How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?)

Julius isn’t the type to rush into things—he’s got all the time in the world, literally. So when it comes to you, he’s willing to play the long game. This guy will spend months, even years, meticulously observing you like he’s preparing for the world’s most intense final exam. He’ll study your habits, routines, preferences, down to which hand you use to brush your teeth…it’s weird, yeah—but he probably actually knows which hand you use to brush your teeth with. He’s so strategic that if there was a gold medal for obsessively planning, Julius would be its reigning champion.

Now, about snapping—it’s not really his style. Julius won’t just flip the switch one day and show up at your door, eyes glowing with time-warping intent. No, he’s far too patient and calculating for that. He takes his time, crafting an intricate web where every thread is designed to lead you straight to him. If you’re imagining some dramatic, sudden outburst—forget it. What you should be worried about are those quiet, all-too-composed moments where he’s just smiling and nodding, because that’s when his brain is ticking like a well-wound clock, planning every step of your “future” together.

When he finally decides it’s time to make his move, rest assured, he’s not diving in without backup plans A through Z ready to go. By the time Julius “snaps,” he’s really just executing a plan that’s been in the works for ages, and by then, your chances of escape are slim to none. So don’t waste time worrying about him snapping like some unhinged maniac—it’s not the big breakdown you should be afraid of, but the steady, calculated build-up. All those daydreams he’s having about the two of you? He’s already way past imagining—it’s more like he’s making itinerary notes for your future.

Z = Zenith (Would they ever break their darling?)

For Julius, breaking you isn’t the goal at all. He’s not in this to shatter your spirit or leave you a hollow shell—he’s aiming for something far more insidious: a genuine connection, or at least what he thinks is genuine. But the trouble is, his methods are about as gentle as a sledgehammer wrapped in velvet. He might not intend to break you, but the relentless way he traps you in those exhausting, sanity-testing time loops as “punishment” does more damage than he probably realizes. In his mind, it’s all in the name of helping you understand his version of love and care—he’s not trying to hurt you; he’s just trying to make you see.

The irony is that resisting him for long enough means you might end up breaking yourself. Going through that same situation, conversation, or argument over and over—like a psychological treadmill from hell—would wear anyone down. It’s like trying to escape a maze only to find yourself back at the entrance every single time. Your defenses would start to crumble, your mental exhaustion would reach its peak, and you’d feel like you’re at your breaking point. But here’s where Julius’s bizarre form of compassion kicks in.

Julius understands, in his own twisted way, that these punishments are draining. He’s aware that if left unchecked, this psychological torture could actually destroy you—and that’s not what he wants. So in his post-punishment “cool-down phase,” he shifts gears, switching to comforting and reassuring you whether you want it or not. He’ll be there with a soothing voice and a gentle hand, convincing you that he’s doing this out of love, out of a desire to keep you safe, even if you despise him for it. He won’t let you completely tip over the edge because, in his mind, he’s there to be your savior, your protector—even if he’s the one creating your turmoil in the first place.

So while it feels like you’re always on the brink of breaking, like you’re balancing on a tightrope with no safety net, Julius keeps pulling you back just enough to keep you from falling completely. It’s a messed-up balancing act: you’re teetering, exhausted, and desperate for relief, but you never fully break because he’s always there to catch you, to hold you steady at that edge. It’s not freedom, not even close—but it’s his way of ensuring you stay whole, just enough to be his.

LUCIUS ZOGRATIS

A = Affection (How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?)

Lucius’ way of showing affection is like trying to hug a boa constrictor—tight, unyielding, and with the illusion that he's doing it for your own good. His love is rooted in his grandiose vision of creating a “perfect” world, and you, dear darling, are just another piece of that puzzle that he must polish to fit. He’s paradoxically both gentle and overwhelming. Imagine being wrapped in a silk glove that’s ever-so-slightly squeezing the life out of you. One minute, he’s all soft, lingering touches, fingers gliding over your skin like he’s crafting a masterpiece, whispering sweet nothings about your role in his ideal future. The next, his grip might tighten, a subtle but firm reminder that he’s the artist, and you are the art.

B = Blood (How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?)

Lucius doesn’t revel in bloodshed—he’s not here to get his hands dirty for the thrill of it. But if someone threatens his grip on you or his grand vision, they’ve practically handed him a permission slip for ruthless efficiency. Why waste time swinging when he can just manipulate souls? His Soul Magic makes violence almost boringly clinical—like he’s performing a minor surgery instead of altering their life, spirit, and magic power.

If it’s between keeping you by his side or letting a pesky obstacle stand in the way, Lucius won’t hesitate to do what he calls "cleaning up." And by "cleaning up," I mean he’ll just rearrange their soul and make them not be as a pesky obstacle as before, but now an obedient follower of his. He’s more surgeon than sadist, executing his violence with an almost unsettling sense of calm. There’s no splatter for splatter’s sake—just a surgical strike that leaves nothing but a memory in its wake.

But don’t mistake his preference for efficiency as a reluctance to get messy. If his control over you is at stake, he’s willing to go to any length to keep things tidy, even if that involves spilling a little blood—or a lot of it. His method is polished, but the results are as ruthless as they come.

C = Cruelty (How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?)

Lucius isn’t going to resort to something as pedestrian as outright mocking you. That’s not his style. He doesn’t need to throw petty insults or humiliate you outright—his cruelty is far more sophisticated, like a perfectly sharpened scalpel. Instead, he’ll meticulously dismantle your sense of self, piece by piece, until you genuinely believe he’s the only one who knows what’s best for you. Think of it as psychological warfare but with an air of twisted benevolence. He wants you to think he’s your savior, not your captor, all while he’s slowly tightening the chains.

Lucius is the master of emotional coercion, guilt-tripping, and gaslighting with a side of faux concern. You think you made a decision on your own? He’ll subtly remind you that, no, it was actually him who enlightened you to the “right choice.” You feel like pushing back a bit? He’ll sigh and tell you how disappointed he is. And don’t even think about disagreeing with him—it’s not that he’ll punish you with overt anger; he’ll just look at you with that disappointed, pitying gaze, as if to say, “Oh, how misguided you are to think you can question me.”

D = Darling (Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?)

Lucius isn’t the type to leave your free will intact if it inconveniences him. He’d rather meticulously construct a situation where your "choices" just happen to align perfectly with what he wants. You see, Lucius isn’t going to chase you down every time you try to rebel. Instead, he’ll craft a neat little reality around you where disobedience feels almost... impractical. He’s like that overbearing GPS that keeps saying, "Recalculating," but with a sinister smirk, making sure you only ever take the route he planned.

And let’s be clear—he’s not just putting up a few guardrails. We’re talking total control over your environment. Expect him to start chipping away at your connections to friends and family faster than you can say, “Hey, why haven’t I heard from them in a while?” He’ll isolate you, all while making it seem like he’s protecting you from those "unworthy influences." Before you know it, you’re depending on Lucius for every ounce of interaction, like your entire social life’s been relocated to one dude.

Restricting your movements? Oh, he’ll do that too—both figuratively and literally. Try to wander too far or question too much, and suddenly he’s there, gently redirecting you with that eerie "You don’t know what’s best for you—I do" look. He won’t lock you in a dungeon—that’s too obvious. Instead, he’ll subtly corral you into the life he envisions, all the while making you feel like this new “freedom” he’s given you is a reward for your cooperation. It’s like he’s got a monopoly on your entire existence, and you didn’t even realize you were playing Monopoly in the first place.

And while all of this is happening, Lucius will maintain that level-headed, smug facade, as if gaslighting you into compliance is his way of showing love. Because, in his mind, molding you into his ideal companion isn’t just a desire—it’s his way of showing you your "true potential." Really, isn’t that the worst part? He honestly believes he’s doing you a favor. It’s like if a life coach got way too into your personal life and then decided to stay there... forever.

E = Exposed (How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?)

Lucius baring his heart? Please. This man doesn’t just hide his cards—he’s got them locked in a vault with security clearance. Vulnerability is not in his playbook, and he doesn’t feel the need to let you in on his deepest fears or insecurities. Instead, he opts for the grand, sweeping gestures of devotion that feel almost like a politician’s campaign speech. He’s all about selling you on a dream—his dream—where you’re his perfect partner, standing by his side as he "revolutionizes" the world (or, you know, controls it, but he wouldn’t phrase it that way).

Lucius isn't about confessions; he’s about convictions. He’s not sitting you down for some heart-to-heart where he spills his childhood traumas and secret anxieties. Nah, he’s sweeping you up in these grandiose promises, like he’s the protagonist in some tragically romantic opera, whispering about destiny and greatness with an air of suave authority. Call him a smooth operator—because he really is one. I mean, you could play Sade in the background, and it would probably just feel right. (🎵No need to ask, he’s a smoooth operatoooorr... 🎵 You know the song. You get it. Do I sound like a loser yet.)

To him, his version of vulnerability is trusting you enough to buy into his vision. That’s about as bare as his heart gets. Instead of crying on your shoulder, he’s the type to look deep into your eyes and say, “Together, we’ll reshape this flawed world”—like it’s some kind of love declaration. Emotion, to him, is just another tool to wield, another smooth line to draw you in closer. And he’s dangerously good at it, like a salesman who knows exactly which insecurities to poke at so you’ll buy that overpriced insurance plan.

And when it comes to being “vulnerable,” Lucius isn’t trying to share his fears—he’s trying to share his certainty. He’d never confess to a weak spot, because in his mind, having one is almost beneath him. Vulnerability, after all, implies you have something to lose, and Lucius? He’s above all that. He doesn't need to break down walls when he’s too busy building castles in the air—castles where he’s the king, and you’re meant to stay locked away, admiring the view.

F = Fight (How would they feel if their darling fought back?)

Oh, Lucius would find it downright adorable if you tried to fight back. Imagine a cat lazily watching a mouse try to scramble away—it’s almost endearing to him that you’d entertain the idea of resistance. He’s not going to lose his cool; in fact, he’s amused. Like, “Oh, look at you trying to assert your independence—how precious.” To him, your rebellion isn’t a threat; it’s just another bump on the road to your inevitable enlightenment.

Lucius views your resistance as a misguided phase, like you’re a rebellious teenager acting out because you haven’t grasped the bigger picture. In his mind, you’re simply wrestling with your own ignorance, and it’s his job to guide you towards acceptance. He won’t lash out or lose his temper—no, that’s beneath him. Instead, he’ll just subtly tighten his grip, metaphorically speaking.

Open rebellion would be met with that signature Lucius approach: a gentle but unyielding restraint, like velvet shackles. He’s the type to softly say, “You’re only hurting yourself,” while making it clear that resistance is pointless. He’d see this little rebellion of yours as something to manage, like a storm that he knows will pass. He’s patient enough to wait it out, firm enough to hold his ground, and calculating enough to subtly nudge you back into line without breaking a sweat.

G = Game (Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?)

Lucius wouldn’t call it a game—he’s far too self-important for that. In his eyes, this isn’t a playful chase; it’s more like a refinement process. Your attempts to escape or resist aren’t a source of outright joy, but rather, validation of his own self-appointed mission to "perfect" you. Your struggle is proof to him that you’re still not seeing the light, which only reinforces his belief that he, and only he, is capable of guiding you towards that enlightenment.

But don’t get it twisted—there’s definitely a little smirk hiding behind that stoic mask of his. He’s not cackling like a cartoon villain, but deep down, there’s a twisted satisfaction in knowing that you’re trying and failing to break free. It’s the intellectual thrill of having a puzzle to solve. He sees you as a challenge, a work of art that isn’t quite complete yet, and he’s the artist holding the brush.

Lucius enjoys watching you resist, not because he takes pleasure in your suffering (he’s not that overtly sadistic), but because it feeds his ego. He interprets each failed attempt at escape as further evidence of your imperfection—a flaw that he must correct. It’s like watching a child trying to color outside the lines; he finds it endearing, even admirable in its own misguided way, but he’s fully committed to making sure you stay within those lines. In his head, he’s your savior, guiding you away from your own ignorance.

And, of course, he’s got that "I told you so" energy just waiting to drop the moment you realize the futility of it all. He won’t rub it in your face, but he’ll have that air of subtle superiority. "See?" he’d say, with that maddeningly calm voice. "This is why you need me." It’s not exactly a game, but he certainly enjoys being the only one who knows all the rules.

H = Hell (What would be their darling's worst experience with them?)

Your worst experience with Lucius wouldn’t be a single dramatic moment, like an outburst or a locked room—it would be the slow, creeping realization of just how much control he has over every part of your life. He leaves no detail overlooked, no thread loose. One day, it’ll hit you that every little bit of "freedom" you thought you had was an illusion, and every rebellion you plotted was something he anticipated ten moves ago. He’s essentially playing chess while you’re stuck with a Rubik’s Cube, and he’s somehow rigged that too.

The real nightmare isn’t just the physical cage; it’s the mental one. Imagine realizing that all your options, all your allies, and all your potential escapes were subtly cut off, one by one, without you even noticing. You’re isolated, surrounded by an ever-tightening web of manipulations and lies, all crafted by someone who genuinely believes he’s saving you from yourself. It’s like finding out your house has been bugged for years by the person who hands you the keys each day with a smile.

But, of course, Lucius wouldn’t stop at that. One of the weekly specials on the Lucius Manipulation Menu would be his "playful" teasing about his Soul Magic. He’d drop it into conversation like a casual remark, mentioning how he could manipulate the souls of the people you care about most. It’s almost like he’s dangling that possibility over your head, watching to see your reaction. It’s the ultimate "Just kidding... unless?" routine. And even if you tell yourself it’s all just talk, the thought of your loved ones being turned into Lucius’ puppets? That sticks with you. It’s a psychological hammer he’s always holding over you, ready to swing if you step out of line.

The worst part? Deep down, you know that this isn't just an empty threat. He already knows exactly who you care about and how much, and he’s not afraid to use that knowledge against you. He’ll smile and say he’s just teasing, but with Lucius, every joke is laced with the possibility of it becoming reality. Keep pushing him, and who knows? That nightmare scenario of seeing a friend or family member turned into one of his obedient followers might just come true.

Imagine the heart-wrenching feeling of watching someone you love look at you with empty, compliant eyes—all because you thought you could push back against Lucius. It’s psychological warfare, with Lucius playing both the aggressor and the savior in his twisted little mind. And that, my friend, is pure hell.

I = Ideals (What kind of future do they have in mind for/ with their darling?)

Lucius’ dream future isn’t just a cozy cottage with a white picket fence. No, we’re talking world domination with a side of soulmate goals. His ultimate vision is to bring “true peace” to the world under his iron-fisted rule as the Final Wizard King, with you at his side as the perfect partner. And when I say "at his side," I mean more like his arm candy-slash-right-hand in this dystopian peace project. Forget romantic beach sunsets; think more along the lines of overlooking a perfectly ordered empire where every single person is molded to fit his definition of perfection. Ah, romance!

Lucius genuinely sees the two of you as a power couple—the sort that reshapes the world together. While he’s out there "purging imperfections" and ruling with divine authority, he expects you to be his unwavering support, his confidant, the one person worthy of standing at his side in this shiny new utopia. It’s not just about love, per se; it’s about unity in a grand vision, like you’re Bonnie and Clyde except Clyde controls life and death and has a thing for social engineering.

And don’t think you’re getting off easy in this future—he’s got very specific expectations of what this partnership should look like. You’re not just an accessory; you’re his proof that his way is the right way. He imagines the two of you as the embodiment of order and perfection, ruling over this so-called paradise he plans to create. You’ll smile approvingly at his every decree, nod in agreement when he lectures about his higher purpose, and maybe—just maybe—hold his hand as he declares peace to the masses he’s, uh, "perfected."

In Lucius’ mind, this isn’t just a power fantasy; it’s a destiny he’s generously letting you be a part of. Lucky you, right? He’s convinced that once you fully embrace his vision, you’ll be just as devoted to this future as he is. After all, what’s more romantic than ruling the world together in a meticulously crafted utopia, where every rebellious soul has been neatly dealt with? Who needs candlelight dinners when you can have the eternal glow of world peace and unwavering loyalty?

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?)

Jealousy? Oh, Lucius doesn’t have time for such petty emotions. He’s way too busy planning to become the Final Wizard King to let a little thing like envy get under his skin. He’s not sitting there stewing because someone else got a smile out of you or made you laugh. Lucius is above that.

But make no mistake: just because he doesn’t throw jealous tantrums doesn’t mean he’s totally indifferent. Lucius’ possessiveness isn’t driven by insecure jealousy; it’s rooted in his self-righteous belief that only he understands what’s best for you. You’re his project, his masterpiece in progress, and he’ll be damned if some outside force messes with that. Anyone trying to influence or take up space in your life? Yeah, that’s just an annoying little speed bump on the road to his perfect future.

If someone gets too close or starts tugging at your independence, Lucius won’t be flipping tables or throwing out dramatic ultimatums. No, no—he’ll quietly and efficiently eliminate the competition, like sweeping crumbs off the table. Imagine he’s a master chess player, and whoever’s making you smile a little too much is just a pawn in his way. He’ll rearrange circumstances to remove that “threat” without you even realizing it. Maybe that friend moves away, or that co-worker suddenly gets transferred. He’s not lashing out in a fit of rage; he’s methodically tightening his grip on your life while maintaining that unnervingly calm smirk of his.

And why doesn’t he lash out? Because Lucius is secure in his belief that his hold over you is already ironclad. He’s so convinced of his control that he doesn’t see other people as competition—just minor nuisances to be managed. In his mind, no one else is worthy of you, no one else can offer the “enlightenment” he can, and no one else can possibly sway you from the path he’s set for you. So, why waste energy on jealousy when he’s already five steps ahead of everyone else?

K = Kisses (How do they act around or with their darling?)

Lucius doesn’t suddenly switch gears and act like a giggling high schooler when you’re around. He’s still got that intense, calculated presence—except with you, there’s this extra layer of possessiveness wrapped in a cool, collected demeanor. He’s not the type to whisper sweet nothings in your ear or give you playful little pecks. His idea of intimacy involves more of a quiet, commanding closeness that lets everyone know you’re his.

People around him can tell instantly that you’re not just another pawn in his grand plan. You’re something more—a critical piece of his vision, someone he sees as an extension of himself. Lucius doesn’t try to sugarcoat it either; there’s no facade of “Oh, we’re just partners in this journey of life.” Nah, everyone and their grandma knows you’re more than that to him. He doesn’t even bother pretending that you’re on equal footing—he’s got that possessive aura turned up to eleven, and he’s not hiding it.

And why would he? Who’s going to call out the all-powerful, soul-manipulating, future-ruling mastermind for being a little overbearing with his partner? Exactly, no one. It’s not that he’s outwardly aggressive about it; it’s more like the possessiveness is so deeply woven into his character that it feels natural for him to treat you like a prized possession in the gallery of his perfect world.

So while Lucius might not be all about sweet kisses and innocent gestures, he’ll place a hand on your shoulder in a way that speaks volumes, like silently reminding you and everyone else who’s in charge. His actions aren’t loud, but they don’t need to be—his grip on you is as subtle as it is unyielding. It’s not romantic in the traditional sense, but for Lucius, it’s all part of letting you and the rest of the world know exactly where you belong: at his side, under his rule, in his version of paradise. 🎉

L = Love letters (How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?)

Lucius’ idea of courtship isn’t flowers and chocolates; it’s more like a TED Talk on why you’re the keystone in his grand mission. He’s not the type to swoon or stammer over his words—oh no. When he approaches you, it’s with the confidence of a man who’s already calculated every possible outcome and knows you’re going to be part of his life. And if he chooses to write you a letter? You’d better believe it’s going to read like a mix between a philosophical manifesto and a business proposal.

In typical Lucius fashion, he wouldn’t start with “Dear love” or “You’re the light of my life.” Instead, it would be something like, “In you, I have discovered the necessary component to achieving true peace.” Talk about romance! But hey, he’s got a vision, and you’re smack-dab in the middle of it. He’d lay out his admiration for your qualities not as a starry-eyed lover but as someone acknowledging a key asset in his grand design. Basically, Lucius’ version of “I love you” is more like, “You are indispensable to the perfection of this world.”

If you’re expecting compliments on your eyes or how lovely you looked that one day, forget it. His words are grandiose, with a touch of that almost cult-leader-like conviction. He’ll go on these long, eloquent monologues about your “significance” and how your role aligns perfectly with his destiny. It’s not flattery in the traditional sense—it’s more like he’s handing you the script for your role in his self-written narrative. No pressure, right?

And while he might not shower you with declarations of undying affection, his words would make it abundantly clear that he sees you as a vital piece of his world. He’s not just saying “I need you,” but more like, “You are essential to the future I will create, and together, we will bring forth a new era.” So romantic, in a vaguely threatening, “join me or perish” sort of way…

M = Mask (Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?)

No.

Nope. Not even a little bit. Lucius isn’t out here juggling different personas like he’s in a soap opera. What you see is what you get, and that’s the same calculating, self-assured, and slightly terrifying visionary in every setting. Why would he bother putting on a mask when he’s absolutely convinced that he’s already right about, well, everything?

Lucius walks into a room with that "Final Boss" energy, and he doesn’t turn it off just because the audience changes. He’s not going to smile more to put someone at ease or crack a joke to lighten the mood. There’s just no mask to peel away. Lucius doesn’t see the need to hide his true self, because in his mind, his true self is the ultimate truth. And if people are uncomfortable with that, well, they’re just not seeing the bigger picture.

N = Naughty (How would they punish their darling?)

For Lucius, punishment isn’t about causing you physical pain—it’s about a “course correction” in line with his grand vision. He’s not going to lose his cool and lash out at you in anger or frustration; Lucius sees that as a waste of time and effort. Why would he bother bruising your arm when he can bruise your spirit and realign your thinking instead?

If you step out of line or fail to meet his expectations, Lucius’ go-to punishment would be isolation—cutting you off from any sense of independence or connection you might have left. He might lock you away in a grandiose, almost monastery-like room where you’re left to reflect on your mistakes, with nothing but silence to keep you company. No visits, no communication, no freedom—just a constant, suffocating reminder that he’s the only person in your world who matters.

It’s not physical harm—it’s deprivation of everything that makes you feel human. Your agency, your choices, your connections—they’re all privileges that Lucius grants, and he can revoke them just as easily. The psychological weight of it is immense, and that’s the point. He doesn’t want to just punish you; he wants to reform you, make you understand that defiance isn’t just a mistake—it’s a deviation from the path he’s so kindly laid out for you.

At his most “severe,” Lucius might resort to a firm grip, just to emphasize his dominance and remind you of who’s in control. But even then, it’s more about sending a message than inflicting actual pain. Why break you down physically when he can dismantle you mentally, piece by piece, and rebuild you into the perfect companion for his vision?

In short, Lucius’ punishments are carefully crafted exercises in psychological dominance. He wants you to understand the extent of his control, to feel that your entire existence is tied to his approval. And by the end of it, you’ll be questioning if your defiance was ever worth it, or if freedom is just another illusion in the perfectly constructed world he’s created for you.

O = Oppression (How many rights would they take away from their darling?)

Lucius wouldn’t just show up and say, “Hey, guess what? You’re no longer a free person.” No, his methods are much more insidious and calculated. He’s the kind of guy who’d frame each new restriction as a favor, something he’s doing for your own good. He’d tell you it’s all to keep you safe, enlightened, and on the path to perfection. It’s like being caged in gold bars—looks pretty, but you’re still trapped.

Lucius’ approach would be gradual. At first, it might just be limiting who you talk to, convincing you that certain people are “distractions” or “unfit influences” on your growth. Then, maybe he’d start scheduling your days to align with what he believes is best for you. As time goes on, these restrictions multiply like rabbits until, before you know it, you’re in a psychological straitjacket. Even your thoughts start to feel like they’re on a leash.

He wouldn’t go for outright physical restraints because, honestly, Lucius doesn’t think he needs them. His control is so overwhelming that he’d rather manipulate your mind and emotions into a state of dependency, making you almost grateful for the structure he’s imposed. It’s not just about taking away your physical freedoms—it’s about reshaping your reality to fit his narrative. In his mind, you’re not losing rights; you’re gaining purpose. How thoughtful!

But if—and it’s a big “if”—you cooperate with him genuinely and truthfully (and he’ll know if you’re faking it), Lucius would ease up on the restrictions. He might even give you back “most” of your freedoms, like a benevolent ruler granting privileges to a loyal subject. You’d still never get full autonomy, though. Let’s not kid ourselves; in Lucius’ world, true freedom is the freedom to agree with him, and anything beyond that is just chaos.

Overall, you might get some breathing room if you play along, but Lucius is always going to keep a tight leash on the bigger picture. After all, he’s not just managing your life—he’s saving the world, and you’ve got a part to play in that whether you like it or not.

P = Patience (How patient are they with their darling?)

Lucius isn’t just patient—he’s practically the epitome of patience. Think of him as a human chess master who already knows how the game will end, no matter how many moves you make to try and outsmart him. He’s not rushing because, in his mind, your resistance is just a temporary obstacle in the grand plan he’s set for you. You throwing a fit is like a kid throwing sand at the tide—ineffectual and almost cute to him.

You could hurl every insult in the book, scream until you’re hoarse, or try every last wrestling move you’ve seen, and Lucius would barely flinch. He’s got the patience of a monk combined with the smugness of someone who knows he’s already won. If anything, your outbursts just seem to reinforce his belief that you’re not yet “enlightened,” so he’s more than willing to wait out the storm. After all, why would he let a cute, lovely little thing like your rebellion ruffle his feathers?

That’s the maddening part—he never loses his cool. You could literally slap him, and he’d still be standing there, looking down at you with that same composed, slightly amused expression like you’re acting out a scene he’s already memorized. It’s almost as if he’s silently challenging you to try harder because deep down, he finds your defiance more of a mild inconvenience than a genuine threat.

Honestly, it’d drive you crazy. It’s like trying to fight a brick wall that occasionally lectures you on why resisting is pointless. That patience? It’s not just a personality trait—it’s a weapon. A weapon he wields with precision to wear down your will until resistance feels as exhausting as arguing with someone who thinks pineapple on pizza is non-negotiable. Your resistance is a formality, a box to check off on his way to reshaping you into the perfect piece of his grand design. And he’s got all the time in the world to let you figure that out.

Q = Quit (If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?)

Let’s get one thing straight: for Lucius, the concept of you “dying” is laughably moot. I mean, really, it’s a non-issue. Thanks to his powers, he can revive you from the most gruesome fates—fatal wounds, near-dismemberment, anything. In his eyes, you’re practically immortal. So unless you spontaneously combust while trying to flee, he’s not letting go that easily.

Now, as for escaping? Good luck with that. The moment you think you can slip away, Lucius will dispatch an army of clones and his Paladins. They’ll be scouring every corner of existence to bring you back, because in Lucius’ twisted logic, you’re not just a person; you’re a vital part of his grand scheme. Spoiler alert: they WILL find you. He’s the sort of guy who has contingencies for your contingencies, and his persistence is truly a sight to behold.

So let’s be real: the whole idea of him moving on is laughable. There’s no “what if” scenario here; the thought of you escaping or being lost to him is about as likely as Lucius turning into a puppy. He’s more likely to turn every corner of the world upside down in search of you, employing every method at his disposal until he has you right back in his grasp. You’re stuck in this elaborate game of emotional chess, and there’s no checkmate in sight until he decides it’s over.

The only real hope for escape lies in a heroic intervention, like Anti-Magic Asta swooping in like some over-the-top action hero to save the day. But until that happens, forget about quitting or getting away. You’re in Lucius’ world now, and the rules are all his.

R = Regret (Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?)

Oh sweet summer child, if you think Lucius would ever feel guilty about abducting you, then you clearly haven’t been paying attention. In his world, he’s like a knight in shining armor—except the armor is made of manipulation, and the shining part is just his unshakeable belief that he’s the savior of this twisted story. To him, your abduction isn’t a crime; it’s a necessity. He’s saving you from the chaos and flaws of the world outside, and he views his actions as a kindness—like taking a cat off the street and then refusing to let it go because, let’s face it, it just can’t take care of itself.

Regret? Guilt? Those words might as well be in a different language for Lucius. He’s convinced that he’s doing you a favor by keeping you close, and he’ll definitely remind you of that whenever you express any desire to escape. You see, in his mind, letting you go is as absurd as handing over the keys to a sports car to someone who can’t even reach the pedals. You’re integral to his grand plan, and he doesn’t just mean you’re some interchangeable pawn on his chessboard; you’re the queen, and he’s not about to trade that piece away for anything.

So if you’re imagining some heartfelt moment where he pauses and reflects on the morality of his choices, you can forget about it. That’s not happening. Instead, he’ll probably double down, pulling out his smoothest lines about how it’s all for your own good, and how lucky you are to have him as a guide.

Letting you go? Now that’s just funny. If you think he’s going to open the door and say, “Okay, you’re free to go, my darling,” you’re about as mistaken as a mime trying to order a cheeseburger. He’ll hold onto you tighter than a kid gripping their last cookie in a room full of friends. You’re not just a part of his life; you’re the centerpiece of his meticulously crafted plan for world peace.

S = Stigma (What brought about this side of them? childhood, curiosity, etc?)

His overwhelming desire to “improve” you mirrors his quest to perfect the world around him. Picture a painter with a vision so grand that they can’t help but see every imperfection as a flaw to be corrected, and you’ll start to grasp where he’s coming from…

T = Tears (How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?)

To Lucius, those tears are not signs of weakness; they’re just proof that you haven’t quite accepted your role in his meticulously crafted vision. It’s like he’s been waiting for you to see the light, but instead, you’re still fumbling around in the dark. He views your pain as confirmation of the world’s corruption, reinforcing his unwavering belief that he alone possesses the key to your salvation. In his mind, every tear you shed is just another layer of the flawed reality he’s determined to erase. So, while you’re thinking, “I’m a hot mess right now” he’s over there with his metaphorical clipboard, taking notes and strategizing on how to guide you back to the path he believes is right.

U = Unique (Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?)

Lucius stands apart from your classic yandere archetype like a fine wine at a party full of boxed beverages. While many yanderes are often characterized by wild emotions, impulsive decisions, and an insatiable craving for their darling's attention—think of them as the love-struck tornadoes—Lucius operates with a cool, calculated precision that borders on eerie.

For Lucius, love isn’t just a feeling; it’s a meticulously orchestrated strategy aimed at achieving his vision of a perfect world. He’s not driven by mere passion or jealousy but by a steadfast belief in a future where you play a pivotal role. Instead of relying on chaotic whims and emotional outbursts, he’s more like an architect sketching out blueprints, ensuring that every element fits seamlessly into his grand design.

While your average yandere might resort to dramatic gestures—like stalking, melodramatic threats, or even impulsive violence—Lucius opts for subtler methods. He’ll employ psychological manipulation, social isolation, and emotional coercion like a seasoned chess player maneuvering their pieces across the board. He sees every interaction as a move toward the endgame he’s envisioned, where you’re not just a passive participant but a vital component of his master plan.

This calculated approach means he’s not just obsessed with you in the traditional sense; he views you as a unique puzzle piece essential for his envisioned utopia. He’s not out to cause chaos for the sake of chaos; rather, he’s on a mission to “save” you from the flaws he believes the world has imposed upon you. So if you think of your typical yandere as a whirlwind of emotions, Lucius is more like a storm that’s been perfectly predicted, with every gust of wind and drop of rain serving a specific purpose in his eyes.

V = Vice (What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?)

His greatest weakness is, quite ironically, his own towering ego and his unwavering conviction in his ideals. He’s like a walking billboard for self-assuredness, strutting around with the kind of confidence that could make a peacock jealous. You might think, “Great! I can totally use that against him!” But here’s the kicker: it’s not as easy as it sounds.

See, while his ego is a glaring flaw, it also acts like a protective shield, completely insulating him from doubt. He’s so convinced that he’s the master architect of a perfect future that any attempts to exploit this weakness will likely bounce right off him like a rubber ball. You could try to shake his confidence by questioning his plans or pointing out flaws in his grand design, but he’ll just smile that smug little smile and dismiss your concerns as naive, silly ramblings. It’s almost impressive how firmly he believes in his own infallibility. In a nutshell, your chances of exploiting Lucius’ vice for a successful escape are pretty slim—very slim. Sucks to be you, huh?

W = Wit's end (Would they ever hurt their darling?)

When it comes to Lucius, the idea of him hurting you is far from the chaotic, reckless violence you might expect from other characters in the yandere genre. Instead, his approach is a meticulously calculated maneuver. If he ever resorts to hurting you, it’s not out of rage or whimsy; it’s a carefully considered act intended to teach you a lesson about the consequences of disobedience, a lesson closer to molding you into his perfect lover for the new era he’s planning to create.

As for physical harm, Lucius will only ever resort to a firm grip, to reinforce his point or to remind you of his control. It’s less about inflicting pain and more about establishing dominance. He won’t be throwing punches or engaging in dramatic confrontations; instead, he’ll assert his authority in subtle yet powerful ways. He thrives on the knowledge that he can manipulate the situation to keep you in check, all while maintaining that charming demeanor of his.

So while Lucius may not physically hurt you in the traditional sense, the psychological scars he leaves behind can cut deeper than any knife ever could. In his eyes, hurting you is a necessary evil, a step in the process of molding you into the companion he believes you should be.

X = Xoanon (How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?)

Lucius doesn’t quite revere you in the typical, candlelight-dinner-and-flower-petals kind of way. Instead, he sees you as a vital component of his grand design—an irreplaceable vessel for his vision of a perfect world. Think of it this way: to him, you’re not just a person; you’re the keystone in the arch of his ambitions, and he’ll do everything in his power to ensure that you fit snugly into that role.

His “worship” is less about adoration and more about control. He doesn’t bow down or sing your praises; rather, he orchestrates your life as if you’re a piece on his chessboard. He believes that by reshaping you, he’s doing you a favor. In his mind, this isn’t just manipulation; it’s a profound act of love—though it's a love that feels more like a gilded cage than a romantic fairy tale…

So what lengths would he go to win you over? Imagine a meticulous architect ensuring every beam and support is in place to create a flawless structure. Lucius would cut off access to your friends and family, restricting your movements and molding your thoughts to align with his ideals. He’d shower you with grand promises of a better world if you only surrender your will to him. Every act of control is couched in this twisted reverence, as he believes he’s guiding you to enlightenment.

His lengths are vast and thorough, employing every tactic at his disposal—from emotional manipulation to subtle coercion—because in his mind, any means justify the end goal: you becoming the perfect partner in his quest for a utopia. So, while you may not find him kneeling before you, he certainly sees you as a treasure to be safeguarded.

Y = Yearn (How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?)

Lucius isn’t the type to suddenly “snap” like a character in a drama who loses their cool all at once. Nope, he’s way too composed and strategic for that. Remember, patience is his thing. He plays the long game, seeing your resistance as a temporary hurdle on the road to what he believes is inevitable acceptance.

Lucius would never show desperation or impulsiveness, even if it feels like it’s taking forever to get you to fall in line. It’s almost eerie how collected he remains, waiting as you resist, plot, or even openly rebel. He’s that guy who could be waiting for the stars to align, and he wouldn’t flinch once.

Instead of snapping, he slowly tightens his grip, all while maintaining a serene demeanor that’s somehow more unsettling than someone who flies off the handle. If anything, your continued resistance only fuels his belief that he’s right to keep pushing, right to reshape you for “your own good.” He’d say, with that ever-so-slightly patronizing smirk, “It’s only natural for you to struggle—it shows you’re still finding your way. But don’t worry, I have all the time in the world.”

There’s literally no snapping point for Lucius because his patience is practically unbreakable. He doesn’t have a dramatic breaking moment—he’s like water, slowly wearing away at a rock until it’s shaped exactly the way he wants it.

Z = Zenith (Would they ever break their darling?)

Lucius isn’t actively trying to crush your spirit into dust—at least not in a straightforward, malicious way. His endgame isn’t about making you a shattered shell but transforming you into what he sees as your “ideal self,” molded to fit neatly into his grand vision. In his mind, breaking you isn’t breaking at all; it’s refining you, burning away all those pesky imperfections that keep you from seeing things his way.

However, because Lucius’ methods are so intense and unrelenting, achieving that level of transformation might mean pushing you to the edge or beyond. He views it as a necessary sacrifice, like pruning a tree to help it grow properly. If you end up emotionally drained or feeling like you’ve lost yourself, Lucius wouldn’t see that as cruelty. He’d see it as progress, another step toward perfection.

To sum it up: Lucius wouldn’t set out to break you, but he’s perfectly fine if that’s the collateral damage of “perfecting” you.

[cityofjieun]

★ . . . . -ˏˋ 2KIDS ROOMˊˎ | EP. 3 - JIA x HAN

date: february 2022 era: maniac word count: 1.4K

a/n: this took a lot longer than i planned and i'm not sure if i like it but if i don't post it now i literally never will. 2 ji is a realtionship thats very dear to me so i hope i did them justice. please lemme know what you think 🙇🏽‍♀️

THE 2KR INTRO PLAYS, FEATURING A COMPILATION OF THE TWO GIGGLING AT EACH OTHER’S EXPENSE, THE OTHER MEMBER USUALLY STARING BLANKLY OR STRUGGLING TO NOT RETURN THE SMILE.

HAN: [sitting on the couch by himself, looking off camera] are you going to come over here so we can start or are you going to stall a little longer?

JIA: [OFF CAMERA] i’m waiting for manager-nim to find the clause in my contract that says i wouldn't have to film with han-ssi outside of group schedules... i think this is a mistake.

HAN: [GIGGLING BUT LOOKING TOWARD THE CAMERA] do you see how difficult jia-nim is… aish, she’s caught the celebrity disease.

JIA: and you would know all about that, oppa-nim [ SITTING DOWN ON THE COUCH ] i mean, you caught it before you were even famous.

HAN: okay, moving on!

꩜

SEUNGMIN: han and jia.

FELIX: they’re like oil and vinegar.

CHANGBIN: in what way??

CHAN: they don’t mix necessarily, but they still go together well.

[ FELIX HUMS IN AGREEMENT ]

꩜

JIA: [ CLAPS ] chidongz 2kids room!

HAN: i still don't know how to feel about that?

JIA: you learn to live with it, i mean it’s a cuter way of calling us rodents…

HAN: [SIGHS]

JIA: anyways, when was the last time we hung out, han-ssi?

HAN: i remember we watched that j-drama you saw on tiktok together but i can’t exactly remember when that was. i see you so much that it kind of blurs together.

JIA: honestly, we are together a lot. you are a homebody, so we don’t actually go out as much as i wish we would, but we usually hang out together at the dorms.

꩜

HYUNJIN: have you noticed that they always tend to end up at our dorm?

JEONGIN: which is interesting, because you'd think jisung-hyung would just come over to ours more because jieun and lino-hyung are there and he could kill two birds with one stone.

[ THE TWO LAUGH]

MINHO: ??

HYUNJIN: that gives him too much credit, it's too sensible.

MINHO: [POINTEDLY IGNORING HYUNJIN] i think it's because jisung-ah thrives in his own personal space, while being home for too long might make jieunnie feel a bit trapped.

꩜

HAN: but we did go out recently to... [TRAILING OFF] umm… what was it…

JIA: [CUTTING HIM OFF] so the time we spend together means nothing.

HAN: stop.

[ THEY STOP LOOKING AT EACH OTHER SERIOUSLY FOR A MOMENT BEFORE JISUNG BREAK INTO LAUGHTER FOLLOWED BY JIEUN ]

JIA: anyways! we went to a cafe in hannam-dong i really wanted to try. i saw it in yoon seung-ah’s vlogs. they’re known for their bagels and that location specifically has a pretty view of the river so i wanted to take insta pictures.

HAN: OH! and we got lost trying to find it?

JIA: because you insisted, we didn't need directions. HAN: [ROLLS EYES] hey, we found it eventually, didn't we? JIA: after wandering around for an hour! by the time we got there the wait was insane.

HAN: [UNDER HIS BREATH] yeah and the bagels were a bit mid for how long we waited.

JIA: we wouldn’t have had to so long if some had gotten up when i told him to originally AND actually used his phone maps [WACKING HIS SHOULDER TO EMPHAZISE HER POINT]

[THE TWO START TO BAT AT EACH OTHER BEFORE THE SCENCE CUTS]

JIA: i think we should go on a trip together next time we have a vacation. we’ve never gone anywhere just the two of us like that it could be fun.

HAN: a vacation with you….

JIA: what’s that supposed to mean???

HAN: i’m kidding i’m kidding

JIA: yeah sure.

HAN: you are very J so you would make a whole itinerary, wouldn’t you?

JIA: i think having a general plan of what you want to do make sure you get to make the most of you time

HAN: hmmm sure...where would we even go?[THINKING] Japan could be fun. Lots of great food, and it's a short trip. What about you?

JIA: [SMILES] Japan sounds fun. But I'd say Europe. We could explore so many different countries and cultures. I’d love to be able to use my french.

HAN: oh, i have an interesting question, what would we do if the other disappeared.

JIA: oh, this gets a bit serious.

HAN: [SERIOUS] it's funny because i think with any other member, i think i’d want to let them have their space because obviously if they run away, it's for some reason and they want to be alone. but i think if you were so upset that you’d isolate yourself, i’d have to check on you immediately. [ TOWARDS THE CAMERA TO AVOID EYE CONTACT WITH JIEUN ] she isn't someone that likes to be by herself, alone time isn’t really something she seeks because she thrives around others, so i think if she's going out of her way to be by herself like that something is really wrong.

JIA: [A BIT STARTLED AT HIS SERIOUSNESS, AS WELL AS THE SLIGHT READ] aww ji…[POKING HIS ARM] i think i'd obviously want to respect the fact that hanji wanted time alone, but i'd have to check in at some point. [SHE PEEKS AT JISUNG BEFORE CONTINUING A BIT BASHFULLY] i know we have very different social batteries, and hanji is pretty good about just letting me know when he needs some time to himself. but i think if he was to go off and not respond i’d be worried.”

꩜

CHAN: honestly, i think out of everyone, jieun has opened up to han the most, besides seungmin.

FELIX: which is interesting because they’re so different.

[THE FOUR MURMUR IN AGREEMENT]

SEUNGMIN: i think they get on so well because they’re aware of how different they are.

CHANGBIN: oh absolutely. the two used to clash a lot, and i think they came to a point where they had to understand how they were different, and what accommodations they need to make to understand the other better.

CHAN: wahh changbin, you're so insightful.

꩜

[SENTIMENTAL SILENCE]

JIA: this may be the only time i every admit to this, but sometimes i wish i were more like you in some ways

HAN: in what ways?

JIA: i mean, like you said earlier i’m not one who enjoys being by themselves. i think when i'm alone for too long i begin to think too hard and get into my own head. honestly, i think not being able to properly spend time alone with myself is a bit unhealthy. i kinda admire the fact that you are capable of being on your own and enjoy your own company.

꩜

MINHO: i’ve been trying to get jieunnie to understand that it’s not wrong to want to be around others and have companionship, it's an innately human thing, you know.

HYUNJIN: she’s a lot like changbin-hyung. he likes to just sit in my room with me to just be there.

JEONGIN: [GIGGLING TO HIMSELF] well, that's because it's you and changbin hyung…

HYUNJIN: …

꩜

JIA: skz-gi behind the camera look like they want us to start wrapping up

HAN: any final words?

[JIA HUMS, SEEMINGLY WEIGHING SOMETHING BACK AND FORTH IN HER MIND, BEFORE SIGHING AND GRABBING ONE OF JISUNGS HANDS]

JIA: i know i don’t say this often but thank you.

HAN: what for?

JIA: being my person i guess? you have always worked really hard to understand me, as well as help me understand myself. i’m so grateful to have a friend like you in my life and i’m so happy i get to live out my childhood dreams with my best friend.

HAN: jieun...

JIA: hey, let me finish. thank you for growing with me thus far, and I'm so excited to see where we go... together.

HAN: jieunnie..

JIA: if you cry so will I

HAN: thank you for understanding me as well. i know i haven't always been the easiest to deal with but y

[ THE TWO SIT IN SILENCE FOR A MOMENT, SOAKING IN JIEUN'S BEFORE JISUNG CLEARS HIS THROAT. THE SOUND MAKES JIEUN SNICKER FOR A MOMENT BEFORE THE TWO DISSOLVES INTO SILENT TEARS. THE VIDEO CUTS TO THE TWO, LESS TEARY BUT NOSES OBVIOUSLY A LITTLE STUFFY]

JIA: well, this was fun.

HAN: should we take our picture and head out?

JIA: yes please [END]

©︎ cityofjieun, all rights reserved. pls, do not copy or repost my work.

[zebulontheplanet]

hey, I have a question about ID. how does being ID affect your life? ik this is a really broad question but im trying to learn more about ID since I don't have it, and I've just really been wondering how it actually changes a person's life.

Hello! This is a hard question because honestly, ID overlaps a lot with other disorders. It’s like a spicy add on that I have. Most of what I will say is from my own observation, the observation of others, and things my neuropsych has said.

ID affects your problem solving skills, adaptive functioning skills, social skills, judgement, learning skills, and ADL skills.

For learning, it’s a constant struggle. I’m severely behind then my non-intellectually disabled peers, and have to constantly work to just keep up a little bit. Learning itself is extremely hard for me, and while others may be able to process things within 2-3-4 times of being exposed and shown it, I might need 5x that amount of time being exposed and shown it. My learning is a complicated subject, because of how behind I am in most subjects. History? Forget it. Algebra? Forget it. I just can’t make those things click on my brain. Dates, memorization, faces, titles, etc etc is a no for me and takes so much time and effort. I have to also constantly work to not regress in skills, so I’m constantly learning to not lose the skills I have gained throughout the years.

For adaptive skills, that includes things like self care, communication skills, self-direction, etc etc. I struggle with all of these. If someone communicates something to me like a time and place or directions, or something along those lines, they have to write it down or it can get scrambled in my head, then forget it, the whole things is mixed up and everything is wrong and I can’t get to where I need to be. Relying information to other people is also very hard for me because of this. Information gets switched up, lost, etc. it’s very hard and I have to have things written down at all times.

For judgement, my judgement is severely impaired. I’m known for staying in relationships (platonic, romantic, etc) way past their due date, and I’m often manipulated and abused in relationships and still stay. I often times have to get my parents involved and for them to help me through it. It’s very tricky and difficult to deal with, because my brain just doesn’t get it, and I will stay in relationships even if they’re harming me.

For problem solving skills, that’s hard for me too. Solving situations, etc etc is really difficult, as well as even something simple as problem solving games, i suck at those and they’re so confusing to me. Puzzles? Forget it. Sudoku? Forget it. Can’t do it at all.

There’s probably a lot I’m missing, and I’m probably not stating it all, but this is just what comes to mind! I hope you have a lovely day and feel free to ask further questions.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi guys! Got an anon ask with some triggers, so I'm copying it here so I can put a 'read more.'

TW: ED, SH

Here's the original ask:

hey Cas!

hru today? <3

I rlly don’t wanna bother u but I just need some advice bc I’m in a pretty tricky situation and I don’t know who I couldn’t turn to who wouldn’t then tell OTHER people (adults etc)

also a TW b4 anyone reads further: ED (not me but a a friend) and generally bad mental health (including sh and sui)

Basically I have this friend (one of my best friends) who’s struggled with really bad mental health and attempted in the past (we weren’t friends during this time but they’ve shared it with me) they have told me they no longer sh but I’m not entirely sure if I believe him on that but I guess there’s nothing to do except just take their word for it and they are definitely doing better than they were before (about a year or two ago)

thing is this friend does still have a (pretty bad I think) ED (specifically I think they have anorexia but I’m really not sure because I don’t know that much about EDs. I’ve tried to do some research but it’s actually incredibly hard to find any info about them especially in terms of ways to emotionally show support. In a medical sense they always seemed to be talked about like minor things(?) idk it’s hard to explain but often times I’ve been reading actual factual medical stuff and just been disgusted at the ways it’s discussed, like they try so hard to describe it from a technical viewpoint that they essentially the entire mental health aspect of it which kind of demeans the whole thing bc EDs ARE a mental health disorder)

sorry went on a little side rant there but basically I’ve tried to find stuff out but it’s really hard to learn about the mental health aspect and even harder to find stuff out about how to HELP someone through an ED

I’ve even resorted to looking thru some more unsavoury places for info (including anablr), I know these types of places encourage EDs and I am actually not a person who really loves their body very much but I do think I’m in a strong enough place emotionally to do this (and so far I’ve been correct, I’m unaffected) because I just wanted some actual insight on what it’s like

the problem with my friend is that she’s ALREADY in therapy. Her parents put her in it when they found out about her vaping habit but they just lie all the time (she tells me about it) because they have like serious trust issues due to past trauma and I’m gonna be honest, I 100% believe therapy is a good thing but sadly it is also entirely useless if the person doesn’t make any effort to get better

all I can do in that aspect of it is hope the therapy is going better than the jokes he makes about it or that eventually she will feel comfortable enough to share and process her issues

in terms of the ED what im really lost with is how to help

and don’t get me wrong, I know you can’t really help a person who doesn’t want to be helped but honestly I’m not giving up on this person I care about that easily. I will NOT be another person in their life who abandons them for being ‘too much’ or ‘too difficult’. I’ve already accepted the fact that I will not be able to help them out of it really (as best as I can at least)

I’ve already taken to carrying gum and mints in my school bag as much as I can (usually I’ll have a pack of both and I just share them with everyone so this person doesn’t actually catch wind that they’re the reason I do as quite often when they skip lunch they do help themselves to a few of my mints or gum pieces but ik if they knew it was for them they’d stop bc she’s just like that)

I just don’t know how else to help emotionally though, I’m one of the only people (I might be the ONLY person at all) that they feel comfortable enough to talk to about these issues and I just think its better that they’re telling someone who cares about them and is trying to help than telling no one at all which seems to be the alternative. The issue is I don’t know how to respond or show support especially because (thank u trust issues and trauma (/s) the window of vulnerability is SMALL (I’m talking a couple of seconds literally) before they’re joking and changing the subject

Also a small (but frankly compared to the rest of this, not very important) detail is that like I previously mentioned I am also not suuuper happy with my body ( I don’t sh really or have an ED in any way shape or form) and sometimes the stuff he says slightly upsets me (just like once I told him about how my mean grandma told me I was fat and had to eat less and he said his grandma forces him to eat more and that my grandma ‘sounds like her wet dream’ - I know this was just a joke obviously but I didn’t rlly love it considering my grandma is a pretty big source of my looks based insecurities)

like I said in no way is it on the same level and obviously I know it’s not coming from a place of malice because this friend also really looks out for my mental health like way more than my other friends tbh (I don’t know if it’s bc they struggled with it or whether they’re the only one who seems to notice I’m the therapist friend haha but they are the FIRST person to ask if anything’s wrong if I’m acting different and I rlly want to stress that because I know that from what I’ve said so far they may have come across as selfish or something but they are actually one of the kindest people ever) that’s especially why I’m worried if I bring anything up about wanting to help with little things or especially anything about not being a fan of little jokes that she’ll just stop talking about it at all in an attempt to make me feel more comfortable)

for context for all of this, I’m 15 (we both are) so still in school and they’re parents absolutely SUCK (in the most non violent way possible I would like to kill them [not actually but I do really hate them and wish them only the worst]) so there’s no emotional support coming from home for him

I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this in real life because (for privacy reasons) they’ve asked me not to share it with like my other friends and I don’t have the greatest relationship with my parents (they’re not like abusive or neglectful or anything but we just have a lot of differences and just I’ve very much emotionally distanced myself from them)

sorry if this is too much because I do know it’s a really tricky situation and even though all of us sort of deify you, you’re still only one person and if this does make you uncomfortable or upset (not just if it’s triggering I mean just in general if you’re reading this and you don’t feel comfortable) in anyway please don’t force yourself to answer or feel guilty if you don’t because the last thing I’d want to do is put you in that kind of position

Im not sure if ill send in more anons but if I do then ill refer to myself (and you can call me) lacy anon so you know who I am (yes after the song bc i rlly love it haha)

Anyway sending lots and lots of love from the person who does basically look up to you as their adult role model and who I wanna be like when I’m older <3

Hi love! You're not bothering me at all!

So, first, I want to let you know that I am an adult, but when I say this, I hope you don't take it as...condescending, I guess? Because I don't mean it that way at all. I want to be realistic in the fact that these things you are dealing with are VERY grown-up and scary, and you are handling them in a remarkably mature way, but you are still legally fifteen.

This is way too much for a fifteen year old to take on.

You genuinely seem like the most amazing person. The fact that you have done research and carry around things for your friends, all to help them with their ED is frankly restoring my faith in humanity a bit. But I worry that you are placing WAY too much of the responsibility on yourself. I don't mean to be bleak or too blunt, but if god forbid anything ever happened, I would hate for you to blame yourself, and it sounds like you would. Your job is to be this person's friend. Not their therapist or caretaker.

So, here's my advice: I absolutely agree that you should not give up on them! But make sure you have boundaries. It broke my heart to read that you were going to places like anablr just to help- that's not healthy for you! As a friend, especially at your age, your most important job is to make sure your friend doesn't feel alone. And you're doing an amazing job, in my opinion. They seem to be willing to talk to you, and that's a big deal. But, in the best way, you are fifteen, and you don't have to have all the answers! Sometimes, the best way to support someone is to remind them that they are loved and they have someone in their corner. BUT remember that being there for someone doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself or your mental health. Say something if a joke makes you uncomfortable. "I love you so much, but that joke makes me feel uncomfortable. Can you maybe not joke like that?" It's okay and healthy to set those boundaries.

Please remember, you are not responsible for this person. You can love them and be there for them and care deeply, but you are responsible for you and your own health. Don't forget you.

My last very gentle suggestion is this: If you ever get to the point that you are so genuinely worried about this friend that you think it is a life-or-death situation, please don't take that on by yourself. I know it is scary, and I know that telling adults mean that there can be ramifications, but remember that if you are genuinely scared, then an adult needs to be there to keep everyone safe. Very bluntly: Trust can be rebuilt but you can't bring people back from some other very permanent decisions.

Again, you are a wonderful person, and a fantastic friend. But remember to take yourself into account and stay safe in all ways. I know this is probably not the advice you want to hear, but I hope maybe you'll consider it.

Sending so much love! <3 <3 <3

[sweetladymoon]

Hey there 🥰 honestly, i don't remember what I originally followed you for, but rn it makes me happy to see how much you're enjoying Oscar and Lando (?) even though I dont have a single clue who they are 🌠 if you have the energy & r up for it, will you tell me why you like them together and what their whole deal is? If you dont feel like it, that's also totally cool! Hope they will continue to spark lots of joy for you!!

Hi there! 🤗 I’m not entirely sure from when this ask is considering that tumblr didn’t alert me to the fact that I had something in my ask box but if you’re still interested I’m always happy to chat about my interests.

Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri are Formula 1 drivers and also teammates. They both drive for McLaren. Lando has been in F1 and with the team since 2019, Oscar only joined the grid last year. They are both still pretty young (Lando is 24, Oscar is 23) and are incredibly talented drivers.

Their dynamic can be described as “opposites attract”. Lando is known for being chatty, outgoing and a little silly. He’s also pretty open about his emotions. When he’s frustrated or upset you can definitely tell which is something he’s gotten a lot of backlash for (especially recently) because people feel like he’s acting childish/ungrateful but personally I’ve always liked that he doesn’t try to hide how he feels. He’s also quite open about his struggles with his mental health and as someone who’s dealing with similar issues I can relate to him quite a bit. I am also happy that someone in his position is so open about his struggles.

Oscar on the other hand is kind of deadpan and acts incredibly mature in every situation. He never argues with other drivers and even if his race goes catastrophically wrong he just kind of shrugs it off and moves on to the next week. People sometimes act as if he has no emotions which is obviously not true. He’s just an introvert but you can tell that he has definitely gotten more comfortable on the grid/with media etc. over the past year. He’s actually really funny in a sort of lowkey, sarcastic kind of way (especially on social media).When he’s around Lando he turns into a giggling mess. I’m talking bending over in laughter at any little thing Lando says. And while I do like Lando a lot I can tell you he is not THAT funny.

Their personalities just work really well together. Oscar is patient and calm where Lando is not and Oscar is always ready to indulge him. Oscar has even earned the nickname Oscar ‘heart-eyes’ Piastri because of the way he always looks at Lando as if he hung the moon, but to be fair Lando is no better in that regard. They also have massive respect for each other and are never shy to highlight the other’s strengths and compliment them on a job well done.

McLaren has been doing really well this year. For the first time in forever they actually have competitive car and both Lando and Oscar achieved their maiden wins this year which is obviously a pretty big deal. Mclaren is also in the fight for the Constructors Championship and Lando himself is fighting for the Drivers Championship title. And while that is really exciting, McLaren has unfortunately made some questionable strategic decision in the las few races which definitely cost both Lando and Oscar a few more wins. Lando and Oscar fans have been at each other’s throat lately because Lando fans think he should be prioritised considering that he’s in the fight for the title, while Oscar fans don’t want to see their driver being side lined. But tbh I think the main fault lies with the team and neither of the drivers should be getting hate for doing their job.

There have been a few tense situations throughout the year. The most prominent one being Hungary, Oscar’s maiden win. While definitely deserved, McLaren messed up the strategy once again and kind of tainted that moment. A lot of people feared that the team’s incompetence might strain Lando and Oscar’s relationship as teammates, but luckily no matter how unsatisfied they seem after a race, they never seem to have a problem with each other and Lando himself even said that Hungary made their relationship even stronger.

I could honestly rant for ages about F1 and these two in particular but I don’t want to bore you. This has already gotten so much longer than I intended it to be. 😅I still hope I was able to give you a rough idea of who these two are and if you ever want to see their dynamic in action you should check out McLaren’s social media accounts (their YouTube videos in particular).

[ichimatsu-gal]

I watched the the last two episodes of Hazbin Hotel

HOLY FUCKING SHIT OMFG I JUST WANTED TO EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS ON IT AND RAMBLE SO HERE

!!!HAZBIN HOTEL SPOILERS!!!

!!!VERY DETAILED SPOILERS!!!

Episode 7:

almost immediately I was happy to see Charlie get angry and frustrated even if it was just for that little rant about everything that’s happened so far and then choosing to make a deal with Alastor was insane I’m already theorizing all the ways he could ask for a favor that would still be pretty bad even if it doesn’t involve hurting anyone.

when we get to meet Rosie for the first time I kinda expected her to me more malicious and kinda blood thirsty but she ended up actually being a very sweet person who was very genuine and I loved that about her, she gave Charlie some very good advice about Vaggie that I really appreciate bc I though the same thing, also wasn’t expecting her to have the voice she did but I loved it anyway. (FUCKING SUSAN) the way both Alastor and Rosie just behaved like besties in this was way too funny Alastor cursing was way funnier tho and the fact that all it took was just to say hey there’s gonna be free food and it’s angels flesh was so stupidly simple.

I loved that they gave Carmilla another song she was absolutely beautiful and badass like bro HER HAIR DOWN GOT ME BARKING NOT GONNA LIE, she’s a very strong woman who is smart, resilient, and loves her daughters, also I’m biased bc she’s Latina and I’m latina so obviously she’s the best. The fact that Vaggie being an Angel was so obvious is hilarious to me I always thought the X on her eye was some type of aesthetic eyepatch not like an actual thing angels get when they lose and eye??? Still not sure about that but whatever, I loved the realization that yeah Vaggie fights with no real concern about her own life because she’s never had to fear for her own safety before, she wasn’t even aware she could die so the fact that Carmilla is like girl you fight like you aren’t scared of getting hurt which is stupid on your part is both funny and like wow yeah she’s so right that is a dumb way to go about it. Since usually demons can’t cause any type of real harm angels have never had to worry about death so they go about killing every extermination day completely recklessly so it keeps them open to weak points, they didn’t even think about their own weapons they left behind being used against them so yeah, the song was an absolute bop (like girl find the motivation to fight in the fact that you have someone to lose).

I love that the others stayed obviously they would but it’s nice to see everyone trying to help in any way they can despite the circumstances, they all enjoy each other’s company and it was so nice to see how far everyone has come.

Episode 8:

I’m kinda confused as into how Vox managed to get cameras? technology?? Into the hotel but whatever his reactions are funny. Almost immediately I was trying to figure out who was gonna die this final episode and when I saw dear ol Pentious in his little uniform I kinda knew and I was pre sobbing getting ready for the emotional damage I was gonna get (which side note I absolutely love his hair?? When it’s down I mean I’m a sucker for long black hair??? So yeah) anyway the whole thing with him and Cherri is so cute he’s such a dork. I like the scene with nifty and Alastor cause honestly I fully believe he doesn’t own her soul she’s just so outta pocket that he finds her amusing and her presence entertaining and he genuinely enjoys it so she gets to stick around, DID YALL SEE THE FUCK ME EYES HUSK GAVE ANGEL AT THE BAR DONT TELL ME YOU DIDNT AND THE WAY ANGEL LOOKED AT HIM WHEN HE WAKLED OFF YOOOOOOOO I CANTTTTT, and then Pentious being so awkward with Cherri is so cute my man was STRUGGLING tryna confess his love for her, he did say some really sweet things tho that she was kinda getting into it before he ran off plus Angel being like hey he got two dicks and she’s like huh 🤔 (like GIRL GET SOME OF THAT OR ELSE I WILL ).

They really did us dirty with having Charlie so obviously in front of angels door crying and shit before the episodes came out that shit had me sweating. So Adam, I’m not gonna like he kinda….👀 but only because he’s voiced by THE Alex Brightman like c’mon be so serious he did that character so good I can’t even, also I was kinda wondering why all the exorcists are all women like is that just because Adam prefers it or what? But anyway the fact that Vox got the other two V’s together so they can all watch this shit go down is so funny bc they couldn’t care less. It was so fun seeing what Alastor had in store bc I find him so fascinating as a character he has all these interesting powers that he doesn’t really get to use too often since he never has a reason to kinda go all out and have fun killing people so it was fun seeing that. Bro when Adam punched the dome that was wild I was like wow that was kinda cool I’m not gonna lie and the fight with Alastor was insane the animation was amazing it was so fun seeing Al just dodging his attacks with such grace like go off king tell him he’s a bitch 😌💅, when his microphone got sliced in half his reaction was absolutely priceless holy shit I rewatched that shit like 5 times bc I couldn’t get over him cursing like it was so quick but it did the job so well, hearing his actual voice outside of his normal Radio-ish way of sounding was really something it made it feel more alive I guess. Vox’s reactions was so funny he really is a bitter ex that just wants the worst for him I love it (NO! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUUUUU, PUSSY!!) I love him.

When Vaggie said something had to be done about Adam and Pentious was watching I just knew, AND MY MAN JUST REALLY RIZZED CHERRI LIKE THAT BROO HE DIPPED HER AND EVERYTHING OMGGGGGG like I agree with her that WAS hot. I WAS SO PISSED THAT HE DIED FOR NOTHING LIKE BRO I KNEW HE WAS GONNA DIE A JOKE DEATH I JUST KNEW IT, they couldn’t even give bro the honor of dying in a way that would make us cry cause when he went out like that I just knew he was gonna probably end up in heaven to make up for how lame that was. Having Charlie call Adam a pig was so fun like yeas girl tell him, I kinda didn’t agree with Vaggie deciding to allow Lute to live cause girl that’s a loose end I would not wanna deal with later bc she has no mercy (she literally ripped off her own arm to chase after her bro) she would not hesitate to kill, like yeah I get the whole I’m better than you so yeah live with the fact the only reason you breathe is because I let you but girl be so for real she is a nuisance that will come back to bite you in the ass later I know it.

The fact that I didn’t even think about the fact that Adam was wearing a mask this whole time is so stupid of me but when I did see that I was thinking of all the ways he could’ve looked like and to say I was disappointed is an understatement, my disappointment got worse when I saw his pathetic little goatee 😑I’ve seen way better fanart, Lucifer coming in with the save 😮‍💨 not him saying he was gonna fuck Adam the silence was so loud (the only time the other two V’s found it interesting too)😂😂. lucifer is such an airhead twink I love him; Not only is he effortlessly flying circles around Adam and having fun while doing it he’s insulting him too, THE EVE COMMENT WAS SO OUTTA POCKET BRO LIKE WHAT WHEN DID EVE TAP THAT (lucky bitch) I was wondering where she was and apparently it was in his bed (that shit made me snort he has hella rizz) cause not only did he take Adam’s first wife he took the second one too bro, it was pretty cool seeing his more demon form his horns where hella cool and the fact that the entire time Lucy was like unserious about his whole interaction with Adam’s is crazy because I feel like it shows how powerful he really is, after all he is still a seraphim. I appreciate that despite everything Charlie still keeps her compassion and keeps her dad from killing him cause that could not be me girl plus nifty coming in with the last stab is hilarious he really got killed by her of all people that is sad, from what I could count I think she stabbed him 15 times maybe? Which like damm that’s crazy he stood no chance I’m kind of wondering if lute and him had something going one too bc her reaction was definitely not just some soldier who worshipped him it felt more personal and with the whole (sir SIR ADAM!!) plus the dopey ass smile he gave her wich Im ignoring the fact that it might’ve been due to the rapid amount of blood exiting his body and the multiple stab wounds and the fact he was, you know….dying was very loving in a way that just makes you think if there was more to them.

(Quick shout out to the fact that I’m watching the last episode for the second time and I just noticed what I think is Angeldust’s brother and Baxter watching the news)

I’m curious what deal Alastor made that is making him want so desperately to get out bc he definitely was close to a nervous breakdown there (husk was so disappointed Al didn’t die in the war). I was so thankful Pentious actually went to heaven bro I was starting to worry I’m not gonna lie 😀, his design is pretty cute i find it funny he ended up right in front of Sarah and Emily bc you’d expect him to be at the gates but no, it was like a big fuck you to Sarah about redemption which I love how they both reacted to that (love Emily).

Now Lilith, the fact that she is so obviously in heaven is insane like girl you have been gone for SEVEN years with absolutely zero contact with anyone and at first I was like where can she even go in hell that would keep her away for so long and then boom she’s on a nice beach somewhere up above like what the hell. Apparently her and Adam made a deal which my theory is that way before it was made official in order for for the exterminator to happen permanently which I’m guessing was Adam’s idea him and Lilith agreed that if she sang just enough to get his idea accepted by Sarah she would get to stay and chill in heaven maybe? It could be deeper than that but it’s crazy that all this time when her daughter needed her most she was just enjoying life upstairs, maybe she really is the evil mastermind behind it all.

(Something I just thought about, did Lucifer cheat on Lilith with Eve??? Cause like when he said he stole botu of Adam’s wives he was with Lilith so does that explain why they aren’t together or maybe had a falling out a long time ago, or would explain his depression and sense of guilt despite it being so long ago kind of)

——————————————————————————

Anyway that was all my opinions and commentary on the last two episodes of hazbin hotel I just don’t have anyone to talk to this about and it was too early for anyone else to really write anything about this so I was like fuck it I have tumbler, please do leave comments on your opinions, commentary, and theories about this I would absolutely love to hear what you you’d have to say thank you for reading this shit show that is my brain. 🥰

[okkalo]

could u do a scenario with kunigami and a reader who has a perfectionist mindset and ends up breaking down bc they dont feel pretty or smart enough? i’ve honestly been feeling like shit for not feeling perfect and i just want my comfort character to help me escape </3

if u need more inspiration listen to pretty hurts by beyonce

hi anon! i tried to write this one as fast as i could after the previous request for u..i hope ur feeling somewhat better!! just in case no one has told u recently im soso proud of you and you can get through this! i hope u enjoy,, lots of love 🫶🩷

character: kunigami

- kunigami had gotten used to your perfectionist attitude

- in fact, he barely struggled getting used to it

- he was always there to try to comfort you or take your mind off of whatever was bothering you

- he definitely struggled with reassurance at first, however. he actually still isn’t good at it

- he’s only good when you start degrading yourself and his mind just kinda takes over

- if you ever tried to brush him off with an “i’m okay” he would definitely back off

- he would instead try to do other things for you, such as getting your favorite food or making sure to pull you in to rest on his chest

- if u did brush him off he’ll probably learn not to comfort you that way and won’t really approach you, he just continues doing stuff that would hopefully make your day better

- all of that aside he actually loves your perfectionist side

- he loves the way you continue to strive to be better

- mostly because he can relate, he has to work hard to be everyone’s hero!!

- he tries to help if he can too

- he feels as if it’s his role as your boyfriend

- he also thinks your beautiful

- duh, you might be thinking. but he always tries to remind you with some sort of compliment

- he’s just as bad as giving compliments as he is at receiving though! so be patient

- but back to the moment you breakdown

- he’s probably not the best at detecting how stressed you are

- he didn’t even notice. he only knew when he saw you crying in bed while looking at your phone

“y/n?” your name rolled out of his mouth with worry, catching the attention of your widened teary eyes. “y/n, what’s wrong?” the question immediately left him once his concerned eyes met yours. he dropped his bag on the ground, his long legs extending to reach you fast and pull you into a comforting hug.

his heart broke at your released sobs and the way your body slumped into his, your hands clawing at the fabric of his shirt in desperate need of comfort. his finger pads gently made their way to your scalp, each spread out to gently massage your skin. he felt stupid, unable to come up with any comforting words at the moment and only being able to hold you close. he wanted to do more, he wanted you to feel better.

once your sobs lessened and you finally gained confidence in your voice you started sputtering what was weighing your heart down. the moment kunigami heard the words ‘i’m not pretty enough’ or ‘i’m not smart enough’ is the moment he decided to interrupt, not being able to hear anymore of your painfully wrong thoughts.

“hey, don’t say that.” he pulled away from the hug to lift your chin and make you look at his stern eyes. the hand still softly resting on your waist told you he wasn’t mad at you. “you know none of that is true, you’re just in a bad mental state right now to see. you’re the most beautiful person i’ve seen, and you aren’t anywhere close to dumb. you’re damn near perfect.” he stated, confident in each word he was saying while making sure to hold eye contact throughout the whole time.

“come on, take a bath with me and once we get back you’ll have to tell me who made you feel that way.” he gently took your hands, pulling you off the bed with him. once you were standing on your feet he cupped your face in his hands, giving you a soft kiss on the lips before pulling away with a reassuring gaze. “i’m so proud to be your boyfriend, i can’t have you feeling like you’re not enough, because you’re way more than enough for me.” he stated, giving one last final kiss to your cheek before his hand found your back and started pushing you to the bathroom.

unedited thanks for reading!

[lilchibi-chan]

Heyy! Love ur character x idol! Reader, I was wondering if u could do Dabi x idol! Reader. And it’s a secret relationship obvi. Tyy

Hiiii!! Thank you so much for the kind words and I can definitely do this for you!

𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

dabi x idol! reader secret relationship

As an idol, you have a very busy schedule. From recording to dance practice to interviews to traveling and sometimes the overall pressure from fans and even yourself, it can be stressful.

You and your group finally have some time to yourselves when you get a text.

“Hey, let’s meet at our spot.”

You get up from your bed, grab you jacket, bag and phone and head out of your room. You see a couple of your band mates in the kitchen at the table.

“I’m heading out, do you guys need or want anything,” you ask them

“Can you bring back some chicken for dinner? I’ve been craving it,” Yongji, your band mate and best friend says

“Sure! Amelie, would you like anything,” you ask

“I’m cool with chicken too,” she says

“Okay! I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back,” you say

“Have fun!,” they say in unison

You and Dabi started dating a five months ago and your group, Flora, debuted 3 months ago. Company policy is that you’re not allowed to date for the first 3 years of group activity and if you get caught, you’ll be put on probation.

You decided to keep it a secret because you JUST started dating and you didn’t want to let him go. Yes, he is rougher around the edges than other guys, but he could be very sweet when he wanted to be. He also had a certain charisma that you just couldn’t ignore. An aura that you just couldn’t get passed.

Any time you have a moment with him, you cherish it always since they can be few and far in between. You both try to call or text as much as possible since you don’t see each other much.

You made it to the meeting place first and took in the view of Seoul. Everything seemed so small from where you were. There was no stress of school, no worrying about your vocals or dance moves. It felt like you were separate from everything.

A pair of hands cover your eyes.

“Guess who,” the husky, low voice says

“Hmmm let me think…Felix from Stray Kids,” you say teasing

“Haha very funny,” he says

“I was only kidding Touya,” you say, playfully pushing him

You’re the only person he lets call him that.

He cups your face in his hands and kisses you deeply. You wrap you arms around his neck and he pulls you in closer.

He pulls away and both of your breaths are heavy.

“I missed you…so much,” he says

You both catch your breath and he lays a blanket out for both of you to sit/lay on. He brought some of your favorite snacks and some drinks and organized them on the blanket.

“I figured we could have a little picnic before you need to get back. I know they’re pretty strict with curfew,” he says

“Touya,” you say feeling touched

“We don’t get to see each other much and as proud of you as I am, I just want to make every time I see you special. You deserve that much at least,” he says looking out into the distance instead of really looking at you

“Baby, look at me,” you say

He turns his head and you pull him in by his chin and place a soft kiss on his lips.

“What was that for,” he says with a smirk on his lips

“Just to say thank you for always making me feel special,” you say and kiss him again

“It’s so weird no to see you as much after school as I used to. How’s Yongji by the way,” he says

“She’s good, still her bubbly and outgoing self. She helps me get through the struggles of this whole lifestyle. It’s nice to have someone I grew up with go through this with me,” you say

“That’s good. What about the other members,” he asks

“They’re good too. I’m surprise you care so much,” you say jokingly

“Hey, I care because it’s you. I care about you and how you’re doing and how you’re being treated. You’re…the most precious thing to me,” he says honestly

You rest your head on his shoulder and just look out over the city. He places a hand to your cheek and caresses it.

You put your hand on his and caress the back of his hand with your thumb.

He places a kiss on your forehead.

“Do you wanna eat some of the snacks now,” he asks

“Sure,” you say smiling

You spent the next couple of hours talking about classes and the shows you’ve been on and anything else that may come to mind.

“What do you wanna do next? I was thinking we could go to the park,” he says

“I would love to, but I don’t know if that’ll be safe,” you say

“C’mon, isn’t that the best part of being in a secret relationship, the risk of getting caught,” he says intriguingly

“Dabi…I don’t know,” you say honestly

“Y/N, I promise you’ll be safe. We’re gonna be in a spot that no one goes to, it’ll be fine,” he says reassuring you

“O-okay,” you say finally giving in

The whole time you’re on the way to the park, you can feel your nerves taking over. You worry about if someone’s watching you or if someone could be watching, but you’re also thinking about the thrill of sneaking around with the boy you love.

It reminds of Romeo and Juliet, of course without the problematic age difference and the unaliving. Two people from now different worlds, with different lives, trying to do what they can to make their love work.

Dabi holds out his hand as you both come to a brick wall with shrubbery covering it.

“C’mon my little bundle of nerves,” he says

“How did you-”

“Anyone could feel them radiating off of you from miles away,” he says

“Let’s go,” he says, hand still outstretched for you

You pensively grab hold, as he guides you through the shrubbery that was hiding a hole in the wall.

“This leads to the farthest part of the park, where no one ever comes and no one can see us,” he starts,“it has a giant field and the flowers are in bloom right now, so I figured it would be the perfect place for a date with you.”

When you finally make it, you’re blown away by how beautiful it is.

“Dabi…this is incredible,” you say with an awe filled voice

“I’m glad you like it,” he says with a proud smile

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you find this place,” you say curiously

He pauses for a second

“I wanted to get away from home,” he says honestly

“The sun was setting, but I just couldn’t take being there, so I left and I came to the park, but there were so many people. None of them were who I wanted to be with, so I walked until I made it here. I don’t really know if no one’s ever come up here, but I’ve come at all times and no one is ever here when I am so, now this can be our place,” he says

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around much,” you say sadly

“You don’t have to feel guilty or sad nor should you blame yourself. You’re following your dream and I couldn’t be more proud of you,” he says

“Yeah,but..I wish I could be there for you more,” you say honestly

“Y/N, you have a talent and it needs to be shared. You have one of the most amazing voices I’ve ever heard and you shouldn’t be caged like a bird. You need to be free to share that voice. Don’t let my problems stop you from experiencing this chance to the fullest,” he says, leaving you speechless

“Didn’t expect me to say that much, did ya,” he says, causing small giggles to escape both of you

“No I didn’t,” you say through laughs,“but thank you. I’ll continue to make you and our fans proud. I’ll work hard, but I also promise to be there for you whenever I have even a millisecond of free time.”

“I’ll be cheering you on every step of the way,” he says

You look at your phone and it reads 6:30 pm.

“Oh my gosh, I didn’t even realize the time. Ugh I should head back now. Yongji and Amelie are waiting for me,” you say

“I guess this is see you later then,” he says and you notice a sting of sadness in his voice

You kiss his right cheek, then his nose, move to his left cheek and lastly his lips. You place on them a deep and lingering kiss.

“I-I love you, Touya,” you confess honestly

“I’m not good at this kind of stuff, but I l-love y-you too,” he says nervously

“Text me when you get back in. I’ll leave after you,” he says and places a peck on your lips before you go.

As you keep walking, you look back to make sure he’s watching. To make sure he sees you and feels the love you feel for him. To see if he knows just how hard you’re going to work. To let him know that no matter how big you get, you won’t let him go. You will be there for him always.

I hope you enjoyed and as I said in my previous text post, I am so sorry for lack of writing as I have been going through so many changes irl, but I will try to set aside time when I can to write and post. Thank you so much for your request. All requests are appreciated and I do enjoy taking my time to give y’all a story that you and I are both proud of.

[saturn-sends-hugs]

Fuck it, I’m seeing a lot of talk about Echo being a picky eater recently and I think I want to add my two neurodivergent cents to it lol

Firstly, I think it’s important to note that Echo is autistic. I know this hasn’t been stated anywhere or anything, but listing out his character quirks makes it pretty clear.

He repeats orders, arguing with his batch when they don’t follow them, and worries about doing things wrong. This feels like a safety thing to me, almost like telling kids in class to be quiet when the teacher is talking for no other reason than it feels right and them breaking rules is stressful. (can you tell I’m speaking from experience cause this whole post will be me speaking from experience bkshsjsks)

He reads and memorizes the reg manuals, liking to be caught up on the latest versions. Again, this feels like a safety thing; him wanting to know how things will work ahead of time so he can be prepared in every situation.

He doesn’t like being wrong, like when we see him refusing to back down on thinking the Seperatists Senator’s distress call is a trap (Avi Singh I think?). Even when the evidence starts poking holes in his theory, he doesn’t want to let it go. I’m not sure how to explain how this relates to autism other than that fact that autistic people just don’t like being wrong? Like it’s just hard to admit that and it’s almost scary to change your mind like that sometimes? Idrk honestly, I’m DEFINITELY not an expert lol, just saying my piece

So many of Echo’s character quirks relate directly to autism, and all of them are things I strongly relate to. (yes this is why he’s my favorite shush)

But most of all is his picky eating. And uh, this might actually get a tad heavy here but I hope this can maybe share an accurate perspective on it?

Many autistic people are fairly picky eaters, something I’ve definitely struggled with since I was born. We see Echo being skeptical of food multiple times, especially when they’re new to him. We see him eating rations bars, which would be familiar, without a second thought, but new things he’s extremely hesitant to try.

With that in mind and the headcanon (kinda) that he’s autistic, this sounds a lot like ARFID to me.

ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) is tricky to describe since there’s nothing conscious to it, its just somewhat of a mental hurdle? Like there’s a point you just can’t cross no matter what, a bit like ADHD and executive dysfunction, expect a lot stronger lol. It’s pretty much just picky eating to the extreme that a person cannot control and just makes your choices extremely limited when it comes to food.

This makes it difficult (ahem, impossible) to do seemingly basic things like trying absolutely any new foods. There are a few safe ones, maybe even a category of foods that are almost completely safe (for me: most deserts or fruits), but anything outside of that is different, it’s new, and it does not feel safe. When I say picky eating to the extreme, I mean extreme. If I’m literally starving, haven’t eaten in way too long, but the only things available aren’t safe foods? Well too bad guess I’m not eating today 🤷 It’s not much of a choice, it’s just being trapped by your own neurodivergent brain 🫠🫠🫠

It can feel childish and incredibly alienating to constantly turn down new foods or restaurants, or to order the same thing every time from a restaurant, off the kids menu or with special requests, and I just think that piece is being missed in Echo’s picky eating. Now I’m not telling anyone to stop making it a humorous thing cause it totally is in the show, but hey, I’m always here for the angst potential :)

Like what if the reason Echo still looks malnourished after joining the batch is because his safe foods like typical rations just aren’t readily available after the Empire springs up? What if the batch is on shore leave and decide to go to a restaurant and Echo has to either turn them down and explain, or force himself to go and try to tough it out? What if one of the batch makes a joke about Echo’s picky eating, just trying to make conversation or something, but Echo just fully shuts down? Maybe even Domino would joke about it at first, until Fives learned better and started helping Echo, but uhoh now he’s gone and Echo has to figure things out all over again with a new batch 🥲

Is this a fictional character that was grossed out by foods like two times and I’m just heavily projecting onto? Yeah, sure, but hey, I’d love to see more people recognizing this side of it and maybe connecting with it too :)

@gentle-hero-blog thanks for letting me sob abt this literally the minute u got home bkshsjskk <3333

[sapphire11]

all the words you didn't mean for me to hear

Part 2 of 'Secret Messages' a Break up era Tarlos fic Read Part 1 Here

Hello Again Everyone! Still posting this fic in 'mini' parts here on tumblr before releasing the whole thing on ao3. (still mostly because I need some encouragement and validation despite not feeling ready to publish it yet there and you all have always been supportive) Think of this as a little gift for being wonderful followers/mutuals 💛

Counting this as my Seven Sentence Sunday (Sneak Peak Sunday in my world) Thanks so much for the tags @ramblingdisaster73 & @ravens-words

Thank you to everyone who reached out with encouragement and kind words on the last part! (let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this fic or my Tarlos fics) @chaotictarlos @firstprince-history-huh @bubblesandroses8

We could lose him.

His own voice echoes in his mind as he shoves open the door to the stairwell. 

We could lose him.

His own voice is too loud in his head. Drowning out all others. Nancy’s reassurances, Captain Vega’s attempts at hopeful optimism. They’re all lost in the terror that grips him by the throat.

We could lose him.

His own voice shaking with fear that he doesn’t want to feel anymore. He needs to feel something else. Anything else. So he collapses on the top step of the stairs and roughly pulls out TK’s phone, headphones coming with it.

We could lose him.

His own voice echoes and he needs to drown it out with another.  

Hey babe … shit. Let me just …. *background noises, buttons being pressed rustling … 

Hey Carlos.

He turns and settles his back against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest, closing his eyes and allowing TK’s voice to block out everything else. 

How are you? I hope you’re doing okay. Nancy let me know that she’s still in touch. I’m glad; even if I think she only told me because she’s trying to get more information out of me about why we … well about what happened.

I hope that you are letting our friends be there for you. They’ve been trying to be there for me. Even as scattered as we all are at work. Paul still texts. Marjan sends me funny memes. Mateo begs for Marvel movie nights every time we have a night off together. It’s not the same, but it’s something. Plus, Doctor Matterson has been telling me to lean into those friendships; to that support. It helps. Sometimes.

On one hand it is worrisome that TK is so freely admitting that he’s struggling in these messages. On the other hand, he is grateful that TK still in some way was turning towards him, trusting him with the truth of his feelings. Of course he wishes that he’s trusted him at the time, but he knows how much it must have cost TK to admit this even in a message. He knows how even saying the words out loud can feel like you are giving them power over you. 

At the same time, he thinks about the way he pushed everyone away during the breakup. He didn’t want them to have to choose, he wanted TK to be able to vent and have people that were safe, away from Carlos, as TK seemed to want to keep them apart. He should have had more faith in his ex, in TK, in person he has always known him to be. Of course he’d want Carlos to have the same support, and of course he wouldn’t tell them anything. 

Other times it honestly just makes me miss you more. But I’m trying and I hope that counts for something.

It counts for everything, because if only in this hollow, cold, hospital stairwell, Carlos can admit that he didn’t try. He just gave up. Let the anger build inside him until there was nothing left to do, but to pretend to forget. To pretend to move on.

Just wanted you to know that I’ll be okay. That you don’t have to worry, because I know you. I want you to be okay too, so take care of yourself Carlos. Let our friends be there for you; it’s the least you deserve.

It’s the least you deserve

Those words burn into his mind, like the flash of light when you look directly at the sun. They’re all he can hear for a long time. 

He knows that TK left this message months ago. That he was alluding to the fact that Carlos doesn’t deserve to deal with what TK would call his ‘fucked up brain and mess’. But listening to this message now, it almost feels prophetic. It is as if TK is telling him that there is no other choice, but to lean on their friends.

If the worst comes to pass and TK doesn’t come back to him, he’ll try to take care of himself, for no other reason than because TK asked him to. Asked him in some stupid message recorded months ago in the middle of a communication drought, but it feels important. Moreover, it feels like the truth. TK asked him to take care of himself and now there might be no other options. 

TK’s wisdom about leaning on their friends propels him back towards the ICU waiting room. He finds Nancy and Tommy in the same chairs he left them, only now Mateo and Judd have joined them. 

“Hey man.” Judd nods, he’s the first one to notice him, and as he shifts off his spot leaning against the wall, Carlos freezes in place. Despite being compelled to come back, and feeling the itch to follow through with TK’s plea of letting their friends be there for him, he feels out of place. It’s been so long since he occupied the same space as all of these people that mean so much to TK, and it’s impossible to ignore the real reason why they’re all here together now. 

Judd watches him carefully, slowly making his way over with the look born of way too much knowledge surrounding grief. Carlos finds himself engulfed in the warmest hug he’s felt in a long while, the older man’s arms wrapped completely around him, shielding him for just a moment. When Judd pulls back and pats a hand on his shoulder, the look of understanding on his face brings tears to Carlos’ eyes. He can’t stand to look at it anymore as he turns towards the rest of the group who are doing their best imitation of not watching the spectacle. 

“Hey Carlos,” Mateo greets him with the least amount of exuberance he’s ever heard from the kid and a soft, careful hug. “We’ve missed you man. Just wish –” he stutters, a shifty glance thrown in the direction of TK’s room. 

“Me too, Mateo,” Carlos offers, “Thanks for coming. I know TK would appreciate it.”

“We’re here for you too.” The fierce insistence in Mateo’s voice is a clear holdover from other times. From months of Carlos’ absence in not just TK’s life, but all of these people’s. For the first time since the break up Carlos allows himself to feel the grief of the loss. The weight of it pulls him down and he sinks into the chair between Nancy and Tommy. Allowing them to take his hands in theirs again, except this time he doesn’t pull away. 

Mateo and Judd excuse themselves sometime soon after that, with mentions of needing to get some rest before starting a new shift early tomorrow. It’s a stark reminder that the world outside the walls of this hospital marches on. He wishes he had the power to slow it down, prevent the inevitable ending that hangs over him.

“Want to go grab some coffee?” Nancy’s voice breaks through his dark thoughts and he meets her gaze before turning towards the room that holds his heart. He knows what he wants to do. 

“I’m gonna go sit with TK.”

He feels Nancy follow his gaze and her hand landing on his shoulder. “I’ll grab you something,” she promises as they both get up and without a second glance he’s striding up to the door to TK’s room. Nothing has changed since the last time Carlos entered this room, the quiet slide of the door opening allows for the sounds inside to reach his ears. His heartbeat kicks up at the too slow, unsteady rhythm of the heart monitor. It brings him back to nights laying tangled up on the couch with TK, fingers and lips finding pulse points. The always higher than average beat of TK’s heart, that Carlos took great pride in making speed up with a well placed kiss. 

As he settles into the chair next to the bed, the hiss and click of the ventilator surrounds him. Wrapping around him like a noose, cutting off his access to the very thing that gives him life. It’s not air though, no that thing is TK, his liveliness, his energy, everything that makes up that man Carlos loves. Desperate to hear something else, besides everything that is wrong, he pulls TK’s phone out of his pocket. 

Opening the app he thinks how it’s better to listen to these now, while there is still hope, rather than later when they’re the words of a ghost. 

November 6th, 2021

Hey Carlos, is it weird if I tell you I saw you on a scene today? Probably. Sorry. You looked good. Really good. I’m glad you seem to be doing okay. 

Startled at the thought that he looked good at any time during the break up, Carlos tries to remember what shift that would have been, but the days blur together in his memory. He’s suddenly sad that he can’t remember the last time he saw TK at a scene before the disastrously awkward meeting earlier that day. 

Doctor Matterson has been encouraging me to reach out, try to talk, but I haven’t told her that I walked out and then ghosted you. I did tell her that I definitely don’t have the right to come waltzing back in, now that I finally have some shit figured out.

She says that having the conversation might do us both some good. Help us move on. Find closure. I think that it’s just easier to keep the door as firmly shut as that day I walked out. Am I a coward for that, probably, but at least I’ll survive to tell the tale. 

Move on. Find Closure. Survive to tell the tale. 

He wonders why TK’s words always land like an arrow to his heart. He wonders if he’ll ever be able to move on after this. Find the closure that TK alludes to in his message. He wonders if TK felt like he was finding closure all those months ago, or if he was just pretending like Carlos was. 

The anguish he feels hearing TK tell him that he thinks it would be better to keep the door shut. That TK forgot he held the key to every door Carlos ever had, all he had to do was come back, be there, talk, and Carlos wouldn’t have kept him out. 

Mind whirling, the sounds of the medical equipment grow louder again and Carlos clicks the next message.

November 8th, 2021

“Hey. So I’ve been keeping busy.  

TK’s voice floats over him as he stares unseeing at the body lying in the bed, unconsciously he closes his eyes, imagining the voice is coming from the man himself. 

Work has been good. Steady.

Scaled down to therapy twice a week. Meetings. I’ve been trying. 

Some days I think it’s working, but then I remember how good we had it before and how that blew up in my face. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m okay. That I’m not giving up. 

It’s such a short message, but the tone of the message is different from all the previous ones. The tone of TK’s voice pitched up, an attempt at lightheartedness. It’s not quite sincere, but there is a flicker of truth underneath it, like TK maybe had started to believe some part of what he was saying, that he wasn’t giving up. 

Carlos longs to reach out and take TK’s hand now, to beg him to keep fighting, to not give up. Old insecurities hold him back, but he moves the chair a bit closer, the legs scratching loudly across the floor, and then he leans closer still as he hits play for the next message.

November 10th, 2021

Dad left. Said he was sorry he couldn’t do more for the 126 and just ran away into hill country. I want to be so mad at him, until I remember that running is exactly what I do, did, have done. I don’t know. Some days it sucks to be a Strand.

And just like that all traces of hope are washed away again. Sucked out by the force of Owen Strand’s distinct lack of ability to be what TK needs when Owen himself is struggling to not be the hero everyone else sees him as. Anger stirs in the pit of Carlos’ stomach at the reminder that no one has been able to reach Owen since TK was admitted. That he’s not here now when TK needs him, and that he apparently hasn’t been for a long time. 

It’s a kick in the gut that despite TK’s own words several messages ago that Owen could tell he wasn’t doing well, the man still couldn’t face being just what TK needs if he couldn’t be what he wanted. 

Mom’s been trying to get me to go visit her. She’s got Jonah and can’t travel, otherwise I know she’d be here right now. She’s worried. She’s also pissed, I heard her yelling at dad through the phone. It didn’t change anything though. 

Nothing really ever changes, does it? At least not the things that matter.

The words are a clear contradiction to who TK is at his core. TK has never believed in permanence of situations/people/feelings, sometimes to the detriment of believing that nothing good ever stays, but he always believed that things could change. 

Once, TK had told him that ‘nothing ever stays the same’ and now he’s saying that ‘nothing ever changes’. He supposes the sentiments aren’t necessarily the same, but the lack of hopefulness in the words blankets him. Even at his most wary, even when he was pushing and pulling Carlos in every direction, TK never completely disregarded the possibility of things changing. 

In the beginning TK had told him he wasn’t ready. Not that he wouldn’t ever be ready.

Before the solar storm TK told him that he needed to figure out himself before he could figure them out. Not that he would never be willing to figure them out.

With Carlos’ parents, TK promised to be whatever he needed, until he was ready because, nothing ever stays the same and he had faith in Carlos being ready sometime. 

After the fire the number of times TK comforted him by reminding him that living with Owen wouldn’t be a forever thing, that things change. 

During their last fight TK had shouted that he knew it wouldn’t last, that nothing ever stays the same. At the time it had just hurt to hear those words that Carlos once took reassurance from used against him. Now he is hit with the realization that TK hasn’t had anything permanent. He hasn’t had anything stay for him, not his parents, not his sobriety, not his love.

Carlos wants to be the one to change that. Same as he always has, but now with a new understanding of why TK doesn’t believe happiness will last. 

With that thought he clicks play on the next message.  

[hyenahunt]

Saga: Rivals - 18

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Jin, Seiya, Hiyori, Hokuto, Jun

Proofreading: 310mc (JP) & hyenahunt (ENG)

Translation: kotofucius

Seiya: Hocchan, be sure to hold your friend tight in your arms. Keep him from soaring away and vanishing beyond the sky.

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Location: Soundproof Lesson Room

Jin: Woah… Are my eyes tricking me or are there sparks flying here? Kids these days and their violent ways.

Seiya: Fufu. I find this kind of atmosphere refreshing, personally. Once you're my age, people tend to stop picking fights with you.

Jin: Er, in your case, I'm pretty sure it’s more about your status… Nobody would choose to just up and challenge God on their own, Seiya-san.

Seiya: I'm no God, of course. Those who are actually worthy of that title have long left us for the heavens above.

Hiyori: Ah, sensei. You’ve casually strolled in while conversing like it's nothing, I see… So, by those actually worthy of that title, would you happen to mean Nagisa-kun’s father?

Seiya: Yes, and I believe Akehoshi-kun to be one as well.

The rightful protagonists of this world have passed, and as a mere supporting role who has been left behind, I go about my days in constant confusion at all the twists and turns in life.

Hocchan, be sure to hold your friend tight in your arms. Keep him from soaring away and vanishing beyond the sky.

No matter how much you regret later, what efforts you exert to restore the good name of a deceased man will only serve as a momentary consolation.

Because our hands can never touch the stars in the sky… yes?

Hokuto: …Well, Akehoshi appreciates what you passed onto me before SS.

You have my gratitude for that too, at the very least. Of course, it still annoys me that you couldn’t seem to just hand it over to me in a normal way.

Seiya: You’re welcome. Surely you've found yourself feeling glad to have your Papa around for once, yes?

…Though it was a bit late, perhaps. Too late, even.

In any case, it won't do us any good to keep looking back on the past. Rather than old men like us, it is you children who'll be the ones to build the next era.

The higher-ups appear to be struggling a little in understanding that…

Even just from the name of Reverse Live, I feel as though I can clearly sense their intention to reverse the hands on the clock, all the way back to the golden era of idols.

Hokuto: Really? I actually read it more in the sense of a reversal of power against authority.

Like it's a chance to rebel against those who sit back all high-and-mighty at the top… A chance to reverse the game board that locked them in place.

Jun: Yeah, same. What a coincidence, Hidaka-san, it seems like we've got the same interpretation, huh?

Hokuto: So we do. I have reason to believe we really can get along, Eden.

Jun: That's Lilith to you, and I’ve got no intention of playing at being friends with you or anything…

So don’t get too chummy with me, yeah? Let your guard down and we might just swallow you whole, starting from your head.

Jin: Woah there, easy now. There's no need to be so aggressive, boys…

If you two wanna duke it out so badly, just do it onstage while following the rules, ‘kay? But firstly, we've got some joint practice to do, so try to behave yourselves.

Jun: Sagami Jin.

Jin: Huh? Um, er… What is it? Couldja maybe not glare at me like that? That's a pretty scary face you've got there!

Jun: Yeah, well, I was born with it. …Hey, you were in the audience watching SS, weren'tcha?

Jin: Um, yeah… I mean, it was an important performance for my students… 'Course I’d want to be there as their teacher, right?

W-Was I not supposed to? Did I make you uncomfortable just by watching it?

Jun: …Goddamn. No one said shit about that, dude. Why’re you acting so scared, anyway? Get it together, lameass.

I’m not gonna bite or anything, alright~?

Jin: I know. Sorry, though, I've just honestly got no idea how to act around you.

Jun: You could just be yourself, y'know… It's not like I’m your student, so you don’t need to act like a teacher.

Jin: A-Alright. But then, how should I… No, I got it. I’ll give it a go.

Jun: Cool. And not that I care, but couldja at least try to look a little more imposing~? There’s no point kicking your ass if you’re not in your best form.

It'll just look like I'm bullying the weak like this, y'know?

Jin: Haha. Nah, as a matter of fact, all of you have long surpassed my current level in terms of your ability as an idol. I'm not saying it just to flatter you — I seriously mean it.

No matter what the results were, you shone brilliantly during SS.

It was just so dazzling… Maybe it wasn't quite befitting of my age, but you moved this old man to tears.

It was only then that I well and truly felt the value — the weight of the things I had so easily let go.

I felt lost, wondering, “just what am I doing?”... But I guess that’s how I’ve been feeling all this time, ever since I restarted idol work for Project-Saga.

Well, these mystifying and wonderful days will soon come to an end. The thought of it makes me feel both disappointed and yet relieved, in a way — this whole time, I’ve felt like I've been in a waking dream.

Jun: I could say the same thing. Who'd have ever thought I'd get to face off against you… When you’re an idol, every day is seriously just full of things you'd expect to only happen in dreams~ ♪

Well, that's enough of that. Sorry, Hidaka-sensei; I just had to say something to him, or I'd never find closure…

We got sidetracked for a bit, but please continue with the main topic.

Seiya: Of course. There's no problem with that. If anything, I'm relieved to see your exchange was more peaceful than I imagined.

…That may be less desirable where Lilith is concerned, but for us idols, to love is still more correct than to loathe.

Jun: …?

Seiya: And although we've spent many days of practice just for this day, Rain-bows will be going onstage without much of that…

So as a battle tactic, it wouldn't be wrong to rob them of even more time by conversing with them.

Hokuto: Playing dirty again… Is that the reason you’re proposing we have a joint practice too? To take advantage of our time and get in our way?

That’s low, Lilith!

Hiyori: Oh, you intend to slander us, do you? I simply can't let that slide!

Jun: Haha. Honestly, it's on Hidaka-sensei for giving them the wrong idea with his wording too~

…But I mean, we’re gonna win this without even lifting a finger. I don’t see any reason for us to get in your way, y'know?

Jin: Ooh, full of confidence, huh? But this is your debut performance, isn't it? You’ve got nothing on us in terms of experience; we’ve been involved with Project-Saga since its birth.

So between us, I wonder who exactly's gonna be in trouble for wasting time?

For us Rain-bows, it’s just a matter of doing our usual work, but for you guys? It’s your first ever fight, isn't it?

You sure you got your mental prep and everythin' in order?

Seiya: Ahaha. You really are still so young, Jin-kun. You’re letting the children get to you — They've sure got you fired up…

But that’s fine. The show will be more exciting that way.

For the first time in a while, I think my own blood is pumping in excitement, too.

But in any case, whether it is the era that will be reversed, or whether it’ll be the hierarchy…

Which one will end up being the true intention of Reverse Live will be decided from hereon, whether we like it or not.

I don’t mind either way, but I do hope that... we can show the audience a marvelous surprise.

An idol is no illusionist — but it is our job to show dreams beyond anyone’s wildest imagination.

[ ☆ ]

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[letstalkwhump]

Let’s Talk Whump No.3

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump!

I’m Malice, from @whumpers-inc and today I’ve got the fabulous @brutal-nemesis in the house to talk about her experience with and love for whump!

Let’s talk about you! Tell us something about yourself :)

Yo, I'm Nemi, I'm in my 20s and a whumper all the way, baby. Outside of whump, I like rocks (like have an entire degree in geology like rocks), video games (Octopath Traveler, Pokemon, FE, Nancy Drew PC games...), anime (don't ask me about Chainsaw Man, I won't shut up), and hiking (rocks but in their natural habitat).

What does “whump” mean to you?

I get to stab men and laugh about it. I love violence, I am very sadistic

Your fearsome reputation is something of a legend around here. How did you find whump and what made you want to join?

Very long rabbit hole but to be less long about it, I saw some whump stuff on the blog of a pokemon tumblr I stalked (because I didn't have an account) and I was like, Hey This Is The Shit. I lurked for a while but as time went on, I wanted to talk to people about whump and share my own shit cuz I've never really had anyone to talk to about that sort of stuff (at least not without making them really concerned lol).

Being able to talk about wanting to beat up/stab/restrain a guy without concerned looks and questions is so therapeutic, honestly. Do you have a favourite(s) whump trope?

Gore, noncon surgery & body modification, vivisection, female whumper w/ male whumpee, and just general depravity!

Female whumpers, my beloveds! Speaking of favourite pieces, tell us one that you’ve written?

Uhhhh what have I written at all...mmm, well, as far as Castys things, if I had to pick one, it'd probably be Cycle-stys of Yikes . Basically it's a nice little overview of Castys losing his damn mind while he's stuck in a lab for like 240 years. It's probably one of the darkest things I've written as far as, uh, what happens, and that's saying a lot. Idk I just feel like I did a good job with describing these really fucked up actions as...whatever the hell he thought was happening.

For Erebus and Terror...it's hard. I'm really proud of the whole series, tbh, just how I've been able to develop both Erebus and Neteri over time as they change each other, but for a standout chapter...Maybe Chapter 14, Red, White, and Blue , cuz I really love the way I wrote Erebus's panic and what was happening to him from his POV without explicitly describing what was happening. And what's not to love about how upset he is in that one :)

Damn, Red, White and Blue! You’ve definitely earned your reputation..that was brutal! Is there anything new you’re working on at the moment?

Yare yare...I should get started on the next chapter of E&T at some point, shouldn't I? I mean, I have a huge AU stockpile that's basically all between me and one person and we just sit on them, so probably nothing from there for the people...So yeah, probably the next chapter of E&T whenever I get around to that and then I'll probably try to come up with something for Castys since I'm sure people miss him.

Take it from me, the people definitely miss Castys! Care to share what your writing routine usually looks like?

Hahahaha who knows, man. Back before my lil hiatus, I used to write every day whenever I had time and felt like it, but then I became Gamer Mode for a few months and I'm still working on getting out of that habit. But usually just on the couch or in my room with either my video game/anime OST playlist on shuffle (she's 59 hrs long!) or my weeb playlist (anime ops and whatnot) because if it's English words then it's harder to focus on writing,  y’know. Usually I jump around in whatever chapter or piece I'm writing, writing the scenes or bits of dialogue/description as they come to me, and slowly stitching the whole thing together until it's one whole blanket boy.

Is there an easy thing for you to write, something the words just pour for? Anything you struggle with writing?

The easiest thing in the world is whatever bullshit thoughts Castys is having. He is incredibly easy to channel. Any of his dialogue or what he's thinking about comes without much thought. The words also usually flow for my classic™ incredibly long run-on sentence paragraphs that have like no breaks in them cuz it's all go go go, baby. Erebus and Neteri talking isn't too hard either, especially if they're bickering. As far as hard, probably descriptions of pain because it can hard to say how much a thing hurts over and over without being repetitive. I am also not a researcher.  I will just be out here making shit up because it's MY fantasy world so I can have whatever bullshit I want!

Do you have any words of wisdom or writing advice for us?

Well, my old habit that worked for me was to try and write every day, for at least half an hour. If I end up going more, great, but if it's not working at least I tried. That and inspiration is everywhere. Steal whatever shit you like and cobble it together into something unrecognisable. It's not plagiarism cuz you're making something new. Like, E&T came from Stephen King's Misery and a magical girl anime. Go crazy, go stupid.

Go crazy, go stupid. I love it! Let’s give a shout out to your favourite writing/whump blogs, bffs or people who've inspired you. We're hyping everyone up here!

Can't not shout out the bestie @galaxywhump who has impeccable taste and bomb writing and we talk a whole lot everyday and yeah, queen shit. @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifih-wifi is another good friend and amazing writer and she's got so many different stories that everyone can find something they love. Ugh, there's a lot of other people I could talk about, but I'll give the last shout-out to @whump-side cuz her art just always hits the spot for me, so fuckin good.

Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us today. Is there anything you like to add?

Don't be afraid to be a little bit silly, lads, we're here to have fun and it doesn't have to be the most serious shit in the world for it to be good whump. we love being silly and crazy.

Thanks for dropping by @brutal-nemesis ! 

And to all the readers, have a whump-derful day!

[wirewitchviolet]

So I just watched every Child’s Play movie and now I’m going to talk about them.

A few recent conversations with people have lead to me picking up some weird trivia notes about the Child’s Play/X of Chucky movies (and the recent TV series based on them), and as luck would have it, almost all of them are on Tubi right now, the one streaming service that still seems usable, and since they’re honestly on the very short list of ‘80s horror classics I never got around to, why not marathon through all seven and blog about it? Also before I do the whole “continued below the fold” thing can I just note real quick both that the later entries are surprisingly queer, so, on topic for the month, and that every single sequel, spinoff, whatever is written by the author of the original screenplay, and this series is practically the only thing on his IMDB page. You don’t see that sort of writer-controlled franchise basically ever.

Child’s Play (1988) is, of course, an evil doll movie. That’s kind of its own whole subgenre, and honestly does a pretty good job of elevating itself from what that generally entails. The absolute first thing we see on screen is the backstory here, where a police detective is trying to gun down a serial killer, who as just sort of a random thing (at least until later when he goes back to the witch doctor he learned it from to complain) has a magic soul transfer spell he’s apparently really itching to use, what with the having been caught for all the murders and all. He can’t find anyone to body jack, but ends up pinned under a pile of these very My Buddy style jumbo dolls and gives it a shot. I feel like this opening was probably a studio mandate thing, or at least a late addition, because otherwise the movie plays things real close to the chest about the whole thing.

We have this YOUNG (6 year old actor) kid who gets the possessed doll as a late birthday present after his struggling single mom buys it from a shady guy on the street who swiped it from the deadly shootout scene, and he talks about things the doll says to him, but we never actually see the conversations and without the intro you could totally play this up as a misdirect that we’ve got some sort of evil child here. You’d figure we’d be doing the whole thing where the kid is trying to tell everyone the doll is evil and nobody’s listening, but mostly he just gets to be a cute latchkey kid kept somewhat in the dark on this, and before we even really have a decent body count or string of suspicious things, his mother actually just notices she never put the batteries in the thing, so even the standard squeeze me and hear catch phrases talking doll stuff he’s done shouldn’t actually be possible.

She does a whole lot of worrying about how if either she or her latchkey kid explain this, CPS is probably going to get involved, but eventually confides the whole “hey this doll I got my kid might be possessed and responsible for some recent deaths” thing with the detective looking into things, who is just super relieved because he was actually already going down that road and also didn’t want to say anything that absurd, and then things just kinda rush to a conclusion after the aforementioned witch doctor check-in gives us the rest of our lore for these early entries. Turns out if you pop your soul into a plastic doll (or presumably other inanimate object), first off your only option for bouncing out is the first person you told your real name to (which he carelessly did with the kid), and also that inanimate body is eventually going to start gradually becoming human and obeying sensible rules like being full of meat and having basic mortality going on, and also this eventually closes that window to jump out. So OK NOW the kid he’d mostly been ignoring is in danger, they burn the doll, shoot it a lot, the end. Impressive animatronics work.

Child’s Play 2 (1990) is... the more by the numbers experience I was expecting the original to be. We start with the reveal that the protagonists of the first movie and second cop who showed up at the end did in fact go public with their story and it got enough buzz that the doll’s manufacturer went to the trouble to gather up what was left of it, do a full rebuild and restore, and test things out to put any sort of possession rumors to bed, and we also find out that oh, actually that looming concern over the whole first movie actually WAS totally valid, and the kid was dumped into the foster care system (which does not come off in a good light here at all) “while his mother recovers.” That’s the last mention of her we ever get too, so presumably she’s just locked in some psych ward indefinitely or something, which is pretty damn dark.

Quick tangent here- So the doll itself is “a Good Guys doll,” and while at no point in the series do we really go in too deep on this, Good Guys is apparently some sort of Care Bears-like cartoon that aired for a bit before getting the merch out, and part of the gimmick is while the dolls all otherwise have the same appearance and stock dialog, they all have different names (or at least a wide pool of names), and like... this is somehow the one thing I can’t suspend my disbelief over. Like yeah it’s a neat gimmick that you don’t know what your specific doll’s name is until you first put batteries in, but you are leaving so much money on the table not encouraging kids to collect the whole cast. And like, there’s a pre-existing show right? Shouldn’t they all have unique character designs from that alone? Also other Good Guys dolls keep showing up in the sequels, 2 here has one already in the house that Chucky replaces, but aside from a quick gag of having to pause to remember what name to say here, the unique name thing never actually ends up mattering, so it’s weird to introduce it.

But yeah, kid’s in foster care, so NOW we have parents who don’t believe him about the whole killer doll thing and wonder if he’s doing messed up stuff like you’d figure. They’re also taking care of a girl named Kyle who’s super jaded about the whole getting bounced around from home to home thing and talking about being abused in a lot of them and such, and she kinda becomes our co-protagonist here. This one WOULD end up pretty boring except I want to say the last third of the movie is this big extended climax in the doll factory and they just really go all out with weird creativity. Lots of hazardous conveyor belts and molten plastic and machines shoving limbs and eyeballs in. They have a ton of fun with it and it really sticks with you. They also cash in on that “doll eventually becomes more human” thing for some really incongruous gore as Chucky gets just horrifically mutilated and rendered into an indistinct mass. Good stuff.

Child’s Play 3 (1991) is the one entry in the series that’s just kinda more of the same. We’re jumping forward a decade or so with the toy company deciding to finally clean up the again really impressively grotesque aftermath of that second movie’s climax and start making these dolls again. Feels a bit early to be doing the retro ‘80s toy line thing but I guess it’s just a forward thinking movie like that. Anyway some of Chucky’s blood leaks out into the main molten plastic vat as they’re using a crane to remove his remains from the floor so he’s kinda reborn as the first new doll off the line, kills the CEO, and tracks down the kid, who’s just been transferred to military school, because the foster care system still sucks. Bit weird how Kyle’s not addressed at all, after the ending of 2 pretty strongly implied she was just going to go raise the kid off he grid somewhere, but here we are. Generic military school/bullying stuff, 16 year old kid. There is a point where Chucky realizes wait this is technically a new doll he’s possessing and that first person he tells his name to bit presumably got a reset, so he’s trying to possess this other kid (who I don’t buy as young enough to be into this doll, especially when he’s at a military school). We switch settings to this super elaborate haunted house ride at a nearby amusement park for the climax which is kind of fun, but it’s no doll factory... and even the writer doesn’t care much for this one. We are out of steam, trilogy over.

Bride of Chucky (1998) eventually picks things back up and just kinda goes “screw it, we’re capital-C Camp horror-comedy now.” We’re also doing a lot of retconning. Soul transferring now requires this magic amulet, and we’re no longer doing the doll-slowly-becomes-human thing. We ARE doing the doll-is-full-of-meat-and-blood thing though. We’re also saying before the original movie Chucky had a girlfriend (played by Jennifer Tilly, this will be relevant later) who was also a big fan of murder and broadly in on it, and while it took her a bit (or not? I’m figuring 2 took place immediately after 1, but then we skipped forward 10 years for 3, and now this is actually a decade from the original and mentions the dolls having been a thing back in the ‘80s, so the math gets weird here), she found all the Chucky bits after he was tossed into an industrial fan in 3, stitched them together, and casts a spell to revive him.

Long story short they have a very hot and cold relationship going, where at first the plan is hey, let’s restore Chucky’s humanity and go get his crime spree money, but then they have a fight, she locks him in a care, he kills her and magic rituals her into a similar doll, they fight some more, then eventually decide to just find some random couple to body jack and go back to being human. Contrary to the title they don’t actually get married at any point, but do get engaged, and the audience is challenged with the fact that at some point (while, again, both are dolls, but remember they ARE full of meat, so this makes SOME sense) they have sex, she gets pregnant, and the big ending sting after they start squabbling again, ruin the body stealing plan, and get shot for their trouble, she gives birth to this weird doll baby who we see pouncing on someone who approaches the scene later. Also I don’t know if it’s coming across from this summary but there’s very little in the way of slasher stuff here. It’s like, 90% wacky unhealthy relationship banter by volume.

Seed of Chucky (2004) picks up from THAT ending somehow, and after a big ol’ CGI montage of where murder doll babies come from goes into this narration from the perspective of the hideous doll baby from the end of the last one, who has since grown up somewhat and is actually very nice and polite and was actually just giving a big hug to that person in that stinger. Anyway after years of working as a fake ventrilloquist’s dummy, and going off the assumption of being Japanese because apparently having Made in Japan stamped on your wrist is a genetically inheritable trait for living dolls (and extra weird because I’m pretty sure the doll Chucky was possessing at the time was made in the factory from 2 and that was explicitly in Chicago), the spooky doll child who is our protagonist learns they’re making a movie about the events of Bride of Chucky and sees the same wrist stamp on the prop version of Chucky in that. So, off to the set to do a magic ritual and bring the actual sophisticated animatronic movie props used for in-universe versions of these movies to life, harnessing the souls of those dead murder parents and yeah this all works out somehow. And now it’s time to get super meta.

From here we have two plot threads going. The one with the kid, and one where Chucky’s love interest is struck by how amazing the casting it is that they got Jennifer Tilly to play her for this movie, both because she sounds just like her and she looks just like she did before she got turned into a doll, and also because she and several other people in this movie as an odd running gag thought she was really good in the Wachowski’s first movie, Bound. So the bulk of this movie’s actual plot is this evil murder doll plotting to possess her own voice actress and that’s just great. The plan is also to get whoever’s she’s dating as a host for Chucky (initially real world rapper Redman and later her limo driver), and to artificially inseminate her with... the title of the movie to get a human (or, more human anyway?) baby for the kid to possess. Long story short this actually does work out except for Chucky stopping at the last minute and realizing that this is very ridiculous, and being some limo driver dating an actress isn’t as cool as being a famous killer doll, so screw the whole thing. Oh and then gets dismembered by his own child with an axe after a goofy martial arts battle, because it’s kind of a tradition for every movie to end with Chucky’s gruesome dismemberment.

Then the other half of the plot is these two being parents to this child who they each project their own gender onto and who personally never really gave the matter much thought, and they straight up go all Ed Wood fighting over whether to call them Glen or Glenda. The child in question eventually says something along the lines of “I do like being a boy, but I also like being a girl, can I just be both?” which scores some pretty serious points for progressiveness for 2004, but then kind of immediately loses them by kinda playing this up as a split personality thing and getting the tidy (for some value thereof) solution of Jennifer Tilly actually having twins, so hey, just possess both these babies and actually be a boy and a girl. But like, put a pin in that one.

Oh and fun trivia. I suspected this on my own and wikipedia confirms it with quotes. Going full camp for Bride and casting one of the women from Bound basically pushed the whole series over some sort of queer event horizon, which the writer was OK with because hey, he’s openly gay. This movie had to switch studios because the first thought it was “too gay,” and he just kinda doubled down from here on out. Like I don’t think any straight characters, major or minor, get introduced from here on out.

Curse of Chucky (2013) took another decade to come out and went straight to video. Which, you know, reread that last paragraph, and while we are just making everyone gay now, it seems our writer and now also director realized he flew too close to the sun with the high camp duology and we’re back to doing the standard evil doll thing, terrorizing a new family, with the actual real life daughter of Brad Dourif (who plays Chucky and was also Wormtongue in the Lord of the Rings movies and the guy with the giant eyebrows in the ‘80s Dune) as the lead, she’s in a wheelchair due to Chucky attacking her mother while she was pregnant back before the whole doll thing happened, and we’ve kinda got a back to finish the job sort of setup, with this whole extended family in a big house getting bumped off and gradually piecing together there’s something up with this doll someone mailed to the main character’s niece.

This is the one entry in the series that didn’t do anything for me. It goes a bit nasty and gory on the kills which previous movies kind of just saved for big awful Chucky deaths oddly enough. It doesn’t have the high camp energy of the previous couple either and I miss it. Someone pointed out to me that it is interesting how it manages a really good fake out and absolutely comes across as a straight up reboot until a good ways in, at which point Chucky takes off some patch-overs hiding the scars from being sewn back together in Bride and giving a bit of a speech that basically amounts to “oh no absolutely everything is still canon actually. There’s just more to my life than stalking the one kid and dealing with my unstable girlfriend.” Also this one ends with a post-credits scene I literally found out existed just now when looking up release dates because Tubi kept jumping right into the next movie as credits started, and it’s kind of important to see for that one to make even a little sense, as Chucky mails himself to the kid from the original movies, and hey he also gets a phone call from his mother, so OK either she did get let out of wherever eventually or he got adopted by someone decent. Nice to learn. Also nice to learn this actor didn’t get messed up from staring in a horror movie when he was just freaking six. Anyway he counter-ambushes Chucky with the big ol’ rifle he has because I mean 3′s still canon.

Cult of Chucky (2017) is the last movie in the series... because it’s setting the stage for the TV series. And by “setting the stage for the TV series” I mean it just kinda does the screenwriting equivalent of dumping a whole bin of legos on the floor and leaving it for someone else to clean up. Makes this honestly just a complete mess of a movie (especially coming in without seeing that post-credits scene) but honestly it was probably the right call. Unlike most other things following the trend of adapting an ‘80s horror series to a serialized TV show, we didn’t actually have a big sloppy mess of lore and confusing continuity and unaccounted for characters, so yeah, make a big mess of things and spend a season or two cleaning it up, sure.

Basically the protagonist from Curse ends up institutionalized because... she was kind of the sole survivor of that one and insisting a doll killed everyone, but it’s not really plausible she did it because the house it takes place in isn’t all that wheelchair accessible. So we have this whole cast of other committed people here to be... not great portrayals of mental illness (but I mean, I’ve seen much worse) and give us some victims to run through, and a super awful corrupt hypnosis and sexual assault-y head of the place. And like, the tone of these last two is such that when she learns Chucky is actually there she tries to kill herself and Chucky then discovers this and sews her wrist back up. Not a fan.

Thing is though we’re cutting away now and then to the kid from the original trilogy interrogating the half-exploded and severed head of Chucky as was mailed to him in that post-credits scene, while Chucky is running around the mental hospital, and the eventual explanation for that is he found lessons online on how to possess multiple dolls at once. Also people. And by the end of the thing we’ve got 3 Chucky dolls running around (plus the interrogation head), plus our protagonist is possessed, and for good measure Chucky’s girlfriend still possessing actress Jennifer Tilly is in the mix, and original kid had a... poorly thought out big hero plan that just kinda lead to him being locked in a padded cell. And yeah, as a starting point for a TV series, sure, I’m good with this. Oh and this also had a post-credits scene I missed, where Kyle from 2 shows up to torture the head. Glad she’s still around.

So that’s the whole series, aside from, you know, The Series, which I am quite tempted to watch now if I can get my hands on it, and the ACTUAL reboot with Mark Hamill and Aubrey Plaza where it’s less possessed doll and more evil smart home setup. Although that’s STILL the original writer and I hear it’s actually quite good, just, yeah, access issues here.

Speaking of the series though, that pin I put in the whole Glen/Glenda thing? While I haven’t watched the show what first sent me down this rabbit hole was catching references to Chucky having a queer kid and while I’m pretty sure Seed of Chucky had its heart in the right place with... let’s be blunt, bad execution, having 20 years to learn how to do better apparently the show just freaking quadruples down with it, and both of the twins they possess at the end of that grow up to be nonbinary, are played by a nonbinary actor, do the whole they/them pronoun badge thing, and for good measure Glen has a more femme look than Glenda. And yeah both their parents are actively cool with this, so, you know, that’s just cool.

As is this series on the whole, really? I’m kind of surprised. I don’t like slashers, generally speaking, which these definitely are except the super campy entries in the middle. But they’re pretty clever and fun, and like, Chucky works way better as an actual character than other slasher villains tend to. Some people find Freddy Krueger fun but like... go watch the first movie again. That backstory is too irredeemable for me to watch you do improv while killing kids. Most others are just silent killing machines. Chucky though, despite the whole magically possessing a doll thing, is Just This Guy. Like yeah he kills people with little to know provocation, but he’s got this schlubby put upon working class guy from New Jersey who just kinda got caught up in a weird situation thing going on. Plus I’m easily charmed by good practical effects and damn is that doll rig impressive.

Oh yeah I keep writing these giant posts and then forgetting to plug my Patreon at the end. I know people don’t like plugs but apparently this blog is now how I survive and I’m not doing a super great job of it. The sooner I get back to the point where my rent and utilities are properly covered the sooner I can stop spending most of my time begging and do stuff interesting enough to write about.

[metoidionasty]

Hey buddy. You look the same in both pics, BUT you shouldn't want to look different anyway. It's a good thing you weren't altered too severely, honestly. I'm sorry the pharmaceutical/biomedical industry was able to penetrate your psyche so deeply that you started to believe you needed to change yourself. It really is a tragedy that you couldn't see the perfection in yourself that was there all along (regardless of gender). Blinded and brainwashed, and then physically altered by a system that wants you dead... I'm truly sorry this happened to you and so many others.

Hi so I wasn’t going to answer this. I get asks like this on anon a lot and it’s best to just delete and ignore. But since this is my one year on t I’m going make an acception this once and talk about my transness

First thing I will address is that, yes! My face has not changed much yet. One year on hrt isn’t much time for any real big faces changes. But in terms of other parts of my body I have had major changes, lots of body hair, 2.5 inches of bottom growth, loss of breast tissue, and lots of emotional changes as well.

Next thing I’ll get into is my personal story. Not to be the stereotypical ‘I always knew’. But I did always feel an out of place feeling I struggle to explain to others. This will be an extreme over simplification of my story but here we go. This feeling was always placated by expressing myself as male. When I was in grade school I’d wear boys underwear and clothes only, and would often stuff the crotch with my socks. Entering middle school I’d have days where I would duct tape my chest, go to school and tell everyone ‘I’m a boy today.’ And this was all before I knew what being trans was.

When I was around 13/14 I started to learn about being trans and spent a little time toying with possible ways to explain how I felt. Until I came to realize I was trans. I came out to everyone, switched schools so no one would know my birth name, and just completely socially transitioned. Unfortunately when I was 16/17 I went through very bad trauma and mental health issues, so due to many reasons I don’t feel comfortable getting into I decided to detransition. It was a totally humiliating process and sent me into the deepest depression of my life.

I spent the next 3.5 years trying to make up for lost time learning how adult women should act. I over compensated and over feminized and made myself miserable constantly. I was in the hospital for suicide attempts 2-4 times a year. It was such a deep dark time for me. As time passed and I allowed myself to start getting better and process everything, I realized I am still trans and always was. I ended my relationship I had been in for 2.5 years and moved across the country so I could start my hormones and be the person in my soul I always saw myself as.

And now in this last year I have BLOSSOMED!!! I have found my love for life, God, and myself again. I love my body more than I ever have, every time I see a new change closer to my goal it’s like a total head high. It’s like in finally allowing myself to do this and be myself, I’ve been totally set free.

I know this is super long winded and rambly. I just never plan on explaining any of this in detail on here again so I’m getting it all down. But basically, I’ve known I’ve been trans for almost 10 years, I’ve been to gender specific therapy on top dbt, cbt, and trauma processing. This wasn’t some crazy rush choice I made cos of a discord convo, this was me finally getting to do what everyone tried to stop me from my whole life. There’s no secret pharmaceutical man pushing hormones on me, I was self medicating my t for my first 5 months. There’s no groomer lurking behind me, I’m a grown man who can make his own choices.

[ditzyanimebitch]

a message i'll never send but i've written a thousand times

Hey, this is my name. I know we haven’t talked in a long time and I don’t want you to read this and think I am trying to rekindle any friendship between us because I’m done with trying that, I think too much has happened and we are just two very different people. You don’t have to answer or even read this, I’m not even sure if I want you to or not. A memory from Vancouver came up and it made me reflect on some stuff and there was a lot of stuff I never got to say because I just wanted the conversation to be over at the time, also sorry this is long and mostly me rambling.

To start, I had never wanted to make a whole fuss of your birthday, honestly it was never something I ever intended for you to even see and I’m sorry about how it went down. My only intention at the time was to ask G if I had upset somebody because at the time it felt like everything I said in the groupchat was being ignored and despite trying to make plans with G for all of us to get together, multiple times, I was never being invited to anything anymore. So seeing all these posts of you celebrating together it made all my paranoia bubble up and I wanted to ask her cause I never wanted to try and guilt you or make you stress at all over your birthday because it wasn’t like I believed I was entitled to be invited or anything silly like that but I just felt like I may have done something that unintentionally hurt someone, and at the time I felt she was most likely to be straightforward with me. When I texted her I thought that you had all gone your separate ways and that she would be at home, after texting her I saw you were all still together and it made me feel really ganged up on because I could tell instead of talking to anyone one on one I was being talked down to by a group of people. I will admit I definitely could have phrased things better but at the time I was dealing with living completely on my own and just overall feeling very emotional and isolated. However I still do stand by my opinion that some things said to me were unwarranted and in some cases just downright mean spirited. I don’t have the messages anymore because they auto delete after a year, however I still remember some of that shit cause it sucked.

I get now that you had never really considered me a close friend which hurt at the time to find out because I had considered you one of my best friends. I had always really struggled to make friends and so when I got to high school and became friends with the group I felt so happy because I had finally found people that I thought wanted me around. I thought you were so sweet and kind and just a generally good person and so when I thought you considered me a friend it made me happy. Knowing that wasn’t true still sends me through a loop because I wonder if I just imagined it all, was I actually that annoying person that always managed to tag along, maybe or maybe not, maybe there was a point where you genuinely considered me a friend, I don’t know if I will ever know for sure. Regardless I thought we were close and yet everyone always forgot my birthday, the only wishes I ever got were if someone said it in a group chat and people followed suit. I know you think it’s its stupid, you’ve told me, I’ll always remember being told that “expecting anyone to remember to text me was too high an expectation” and “I was going to hurt my relationships in the future”, or “if I wanted anyone to remember I had to text them reminders to text me”. (That’s all still such a mindfuck to me, I have had to ask so many people if I was crazy over that because you made me feel like such a conceited person, general consensus was no I was not crazy and that was weird) It hurt though cause it felt this only happened to me, everyone else could have birthday parties and all the well wishes in the world, but I was stuck with a party people didn’t want to come to and any ones I tried to plan after never happened because everyone was always “busy”. In the end all I really wanted was to be remembered, at that point I would have traded 100 birthday parties for my friends to just feel happy I existed and remember me, unprompted. I know you think it’s dumb but you also have never had my experience, you have never had a birthday, home alone, where the only people that remember are your parents who call you halfway through the day, you haven’t waited up until midnight to see if anyone even remembered and no one did. I have lived that multiple times and it sucks, so it made me mad when you said it didn’t bother you because no shit, you’ve never experienced it, a couple people forgetting is different to almost every single person you consider important in your life forgetting every year. I know it's not a struggle competition but I had brought this up in Vancouver and it still baffles me because you all agreed it sucked, you said oh shit, that is really sucky of us, we are sorry, we will be better, but when nothing changed, I was deemed a bitch for getting a bit upset. I had always made sure to put that effort in for others because I didn’t want anyone to feel the way I did, so I kept everyone’s birthdays in my phone calendar so I would never forget and that way if everyone else did forget at least one person remembered. It’s embarrassing, but I cried when I took yours out because I thought I was being unnecessarily mean to you, even though it was something you would never even know about if I didn’t tell you. You told me I would have to remind you if I wanted you to remember which also makes me laugh because even when I reminded you of E's you still forgot, it is not too high an expectation to want your friends to love and care for you and to just remember the little details you find important. There will be many times in your life where you may not view something as important but someone you care for will and you will just have to swallow that pill and embrace and celebrate those things for them.

You said after Vancouver you thought I didn't like you, but the truth was I was just very apprehensive. I still very much considered you my friend but you had hurt my feelings badly, both my boyfriend and my mom were telling me I shouldn’t be friends with you anymore because I was just winding up hurt and they didn’t think you cared about me. But I was insistent on trying to mend things because you were important to me, I considered you one of my closest friends and I didn’t want to lose you over something so silly as a trip. When it came to G's birthday I begged and pleaded for my boyfriend to come with me because I wanted everyone to meet him, to try and continue to fix things but he wouldn’t come if you were going to be there. He felt it was unfair to my efforts to repair things if he came, he was still upset with you because he felt I never had a proper apology for what had happened and he was holding a grudge, he thought it might make things worse if he came and was inevitably cold to you while I was trying to be friends again. I’m not sure if you knew about that but for full honesty that is what happened that night.

When E came home last summer, you were extremely petty and just weird to me. It was my idea to get together, I asked her about it privately and she asked if I wanted you there or not and even then I said I did, I wasn’t necessarily trying to be friends again but I didn’t want to burn my bridges and wanted to be the bigger person, and at least be friendly with you. So I was the one that reached out, I tried planning it because I wanted to see my friend and maybe you wanted to see her too. You said nothing on it until I said I couldn’t do a specific time and then that was suddenly the time that worked perfect for you after you had literally said nothing this entire time. Which wtf, again this was something I was planning because I wanted to see my friend and I extended that opportunity to you and you were like thanks my name for doing this but I would prefer if you couldn’t come to your own get together like ok what’s your problem with me, last time I checked I hadn’t vetoed your opinion on what should have been a group decision and dismissed you from spending time together. I didn’t complain about the things you wanted to see and then spent our time at those places complaining at anything you looked at and instead dragging us to things I preferred. I didn’t turn your first kiss and getting together with your boyfriend into an inside joke with a guy I wasn’t even dating yet that you had never met, I didn’t then tell you that I had been mocking you with him (I never brought this up to you because it felt stupid but that was seriously messed up, like that is evil bully stuff from a bad movie). You don’t even like E that much and suddenly you were trying to disinvite me from my own plans to see her, to what? Get back at me for saying while I didn’t think I should be invited to everything it sucked to be pretty much ghosted for half a year?? Like if we are being honest, what horrible things did I do to you that made you, G, and A all cut me off like you did? And throughout the entire night you felt the need to talk all about the things the three of you had been doing together and making new plans without me in front of me. You made what was supposed to be a night to visit with E about getting some weird petty revenge on me. I felt so dumb for even trying to invite you, so when she came back the next time we just hung out as the two of us and I wish I did that in the first place. It sucks how this has impacted my friendships with G and A as well, when you are around they treat me very stiffly, but in the moments you weren’t around in August it was like nothing had changed and at that moment we were still the same friends we had all always been. I’m not going to spend my time trying to sustain a friendship like that though, I deserve better.

In the past there were days I just wanted to scream because in the end I lost three people I considered my closest friends over my own feelings being squashed on a trip and a text reaching out to ask what happened. I hadn't spread rumours about you or stolen your boyfriend, I didn't do anything to you besides feel hurt that you kept pushing me out of what was supposed to be a trip as a group of friends. Even when we left Vancouver I thought we had fixed things and that we would continue to be friends only to never hear from you after we got back and E left. You made me into this pariah of the friend group and then lashed out when I got upset and communicated my feelings poorly. You wrote me off so quickly. It broke my heart at the time, I wanted to say so many mean things but I won't, even if some are deserved.

Anyways I’m sorry for how things ended, I’ve asked myself if I had done things differently if we would still be friends and even then I don’t think we would be, I think something was always going to come up between us. It felt like you were starting to see me as beneath you and we just didn’t have aligning interests anymore. Someday I hope we can see each other, smile, and move on separately, but I don't think we can ever be friends and at this point I really don't want to. I’m not sure if you're curious about my life or not, but I am still with my boyfriend and am going to university in the fall for psych and hopefully law afterwards.

Also I’m sorry about your dog, she was a good girl.

this is just to vent cause this is my only platform where no one knows me, still i censored names where i noticed them but might have missed a few.