#it’s disturbing and really annoying
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My life rn can be described perfectly by the phrase “I bit off more than I can chew”.
#except I keep taking more bites bc that’s just the stubborn person I am#well actually no#some say stubborn I say determined☺️#random post#late night post#everyone talking about the winter arc shit but my winter arc is trying to get 8 hours of sleep at least twice a week#my friends ask me how I function with so little sleep and I literally don’t know what to say bc I run on pure anxiety#like it actually keeps me going#natural pre-installed caffeine#in my body#also if you promote the winter arc thing but it’s just ed glamorization you immediately deserve to be absolutely attacked by the people who-#come across it#bc let’s not#they know what they’re doing#especially when they say: this will be you if you don’t start now#and then what they mean to start with is eating frozen grapes only or is just so obviously the glamorization of ed#idk why I had to mention that#as someone who has recently started eating breakfast after being terrified of the thought of going to school without an empty stomach#and I congratulate myself for this#it’s disturbing and really annoying#mention of ed#tw mention of ed#that’s not even what the post was about😭#bit off more than I can chew#whoever came up with that phrase needs to stand up bc they devoured
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Stop flirting....
#btw i have zero context for *when* that pic is from in the press con#but this is the only time they talk to/about each other in the transcript#so it is my headcanon that they are the same moment 🤭🤭#but god yet another exchange i would kill someone to get the video of#it just comes off in the transcript as so old married couple bickering??????#'oh *now* youre paying attention. was the light bothering you? was it really that bad for you'#'yes it was in fact disturbing me >:('#'youre being such a baby 🙄 the light in here is just as bright“#'alright sure mr. privileged man whos in the best car. of course you wouldn't understnd my struggles 😒'#'well maybe you shoul've just backed off and let me drive 🥺 i was already beating you whats the point'#'ummm actually no you werent'#mark: i am going to shoot myself#but its sooooooo funny seb being like aww dw 🥺🥺 i was trying to build a gap 🥺🥺 to shield your sensitive eyes 🥺#CAN WE PLEASE TALK THOUGH ABOUT SEB PATTING HIS CAP !!!!!!! SOOOOOO CUTE#no matter the actual context of the pic hes still 100% being an annoying brat to nando. I just know it#race weekend over. back to the content people TRULY care about: vettonso.(😭)#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#2013 italian gp
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Zero Day (2002)
#movies film cinema#zero day#ben coccio#I actually talked to the director on Facebook super nice guy and he told#me a lot about the filmmaking process and even helped me with tips on directing non-actors and new actors#I remember him telling me to always be supportive and tell your new actors they're doing a good job even if they aren't in the first take#cause you can instill confidence and still reshape and change their choices and mistakes later#Sometimes I'd message him for advice when I was running into problems on some of my early projects#he told me once ''did ya choose to collaborate with this actor cause you were lonely or you guys had passion and chemistry''#“collaborating is like a relationship” and he was so right#there's nothing worse than working with people you disdain cause there's no communication and no trust.#he told me how he wrote the first couple of drafts of Place Beyond the Pines but his take on the 3rd act wasn't clicking for the director#so he took the script and went and had another writer rewrite the 3rd act but he liked the process cause he learned a lot and still got pai#but I'd still like to see Ben Coccio's take on Place Beyond The Pines he says the 1st and 2nd act are mostly unchanged#Ryan Gosling's scenes are still mostly the same he said but he couldn't tell me too much cause of the NDA he signed#The bloopers of Zero Day are hilarious his tip he gave me about being supportive#“This is actually great but can we-” and Cal interrupts him “He says that no matter what if you're doing good or bad!” and everyone lols#I hope I can make it and ask him to collab with me on a script#He's such a nice dude compared to the harrowing film he made.#I wish there was BTS but he had only one tape to film on and this was made when digital camcorders were infants#I think he had only one 2 hour tape that's how low budget#The bloopers is just Cal or Andre secretly filming and Ben getting annoyed “Is it recording?” and Cal going “Nah..."#Cal is such a funny guy IRL I wanna see him act more cause he's so good. He was so great at playing a sadistic psychopath in this.#the final shooting is so harrowing and disturbing#I told Ben he srsly gut punched me/disturbed me and this is what made him really open up.
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people shitting all over a movie bc it doesn't live up to the "scariest movie you'll ever see" hype is SOOOO stupid. like hello ever horror movie EVER uses that line as part of their marketing. you absolutely cannot put THAT much stake into that. be so serious.
#you can say you dont like a movie but do fucking not jump straight to the overhyped bullshit#come the fuck on#also there are different kinds of scary movies#like theres your classic jumpscare kind of scary and then theres your deeply unsettling kind of scary#and i think a LOOOOOT of people assume 'scariest movie of all time' means the jumpscare kind#when in fact that disturbing under your skin kind of creepy can be scarier!! (and is in fact the specific type of scary meant in this case!)#n e ways.#sorry im just really annoyed at just how many people ive seen taking biiig steamy dumps all over A Recent Movie for this exact reason#bc its bullshit#just bc something wasnt what you expected it to be doesnt mean it was overhyped#just bc it didnt scare you in the way you thought it was supposed to does not mean it is overhyped!#mack rambles
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#the secret to making friends is to let yourself annoy them#this is a joke but im also being completely serious#all my life I've been too apprehensive to make the first move because im always afraid of being bothersome#but looking back at the friendships through the past 4years at uni... im so lucky that a lot of people didn't worry about bothering me#and decided to come up and initiate conversation anyway#and also. whenever anyone has 'bothered me' by asking about me or wanting to know more... I have only felt loved and special...#so i guess what im trying to say is that#cringe culture is dead and theres nothing cool about prioritizing how you appear over the potential of a real bond#and I was born to be persistent and curious#so yeah. now that my graduate program will start in a couple months and there are opportunities to get acquainted with my classmates#I reach out to people with no attempt to hide my enthusiasm in getting to know them.#I double/triple text a lot and annoy them (affectionate) like i do my bffs and its incredible how 9/10 reciprocate that energy so quick#and despite the cultural differences and minor mistranslations/miscommunications we still manage to find common interests to discuss about#and it's like '!!!!!!! we're besties now'#yeah sure sometimes people might get a bit uncomfy and by the second message if i feel like I'm disturbing them I back off#but i won't know that until i reach out in the first place. so all in all this has worked really well for me and i love itttt#megumi in the tags
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Actually concerning lately how many hostile comments I have seen about queer women in kpop circles on here and twitter that are kind of framed through the guise of statements you can't really argue with like 'idols are real people' and 'idols deserve privacy' but with a tone that just shows how much people hate queer women more than they care about idols being real people and their privacy. Like I will see people say things about female idols like 'Women attractor!!' And then when a queer woman actually says something about being attracted to them they'll log on like woah now idols are real people you shouldn't sexualize what if she sees that and gets uncomfortable by the possibility of a woman being attracted to her :( Or female idols will be on stage kissing each other on the mouth and if a queer woman says anything along the lines of how they're just like us people will be like woah now!! Don't speculate :( Idols are real people too :( And with the Karina dating rumor especially I don't even know anything about Karina but my Twitter feed this morning was full of recommended tweets with concerning amounts of likes (one had upwards of 100k) that were basically phrased like 'You disgusting women likers are delusional for thinking she ever would have dated you!! What predatory freaks some people like men and are just straight and you freaks are going to have to accept that'
#and some tweet too that i don't even know what sparked was someone tweeting that yunjin was straight and to get over it#and there were hundreds of replies like yeah most girls like dick get over it lesbo freaks#like i don't see how i haven't seen more people disturbed by the phrasing of these posts#i even saw girls like it's okay to joke about female idols being women attractors etc but at the end of the day it's a joke and all idols...#...are straight and queer women that identify with them or even are attracted to them are freaks#when i see so many posts every day i want to vomit of guy idols doing really routine shit like eating dinner or watching tv#with girls going on and on about how boyfriend coded that is that they're eating dinner#that's not annoying or delusional (and the amount they use delusional is concerning too i am just using it here to quote how they talk)#but you want to put your fist through a wall every time a woman says something like that about another woman#that says more about you hating queer women than it does caring about idols' privacy actually when it's only ever women talking about...#...women idols that i see people mad at and ~ uncomfortable~ with#and i just keep seeing it more and more lately. what makes me the maddest too is that people will post about liking women like it's a...#...safe space to do so but when it really comes down to it it's posts that are all i thought we were all joking about liking women#i saw so many girls that were livid saying some girls are straight that it was bonkers#it must be so hard to be someone logging on the internet every day going what about people that do conform :( what about us normal people :(
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Jean Valjean had only two thoughts: to hide his name and sanctify his life & escape from men and return to God
but he would sacrifice the first for the second, his safety for his virtue
he could not fire Javert because he would sacrifice his virtue if he fired Javert in that moment. Because Javert was actually right (despite being completely fooled at that time), and Javert was dangerous, and Valjean could make him go, but he couldn't because it wouldn't be right.
and that's literally it imho. Valjean as Madeleine acts with and around Javert (or anyone, really, Javert isn't special, Madeleine doesn't treat him any different than others) in a way that doesn't sacrifice his virtue. He will sacrifice his safety (i.e. Fauchelevent) but not his virtue
You can also see it in this imho:
“Javert, you are a man of honor, and I esteem you. You exaggerate your fault. Moreover, this is [another] offence which concerns me. Javert, you deserve promotion instead of degradation. I wish you to retain your post.” [Hapgood, but I added "another" since it's missing]
He can't punish Javert for being right. He alludes back to Fantine spitting on him. "Madeleine", not anyone or anything else, was wronged and he chose not to punish in both cases.
He might not like Javert; Javert has been troubling him, following him, he's been a danger to him (for almost 5 years), but he wouldn't sacrifice his virtue for Javert, and firing Javert would do that imho (and at that time, it would "soil Madeleine")
Javert, you deserve promotion instead of degradation. = is such a good irony, but it probably went over Javert's head completely. But moreover, that line literally makes no sense in context unless you consider "you are actually right" (and you don't know it; ironic, isn't it?)
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That's why I like Javert's line from LM 2000 (which might just be taken from somewhere from the book anyway) that goes: [Valjean] goes against order, against law, and against his own interests.
#leni reads les miserables#idk if this makes sense but i wanted to write it down#after reading valjean's struggling my opinion about jean = champ chapter didn't actually change#i think it was pretty clear that he was disturbed at the beginning and then he calmed down and became 'madeleine'#before reading this chapter i've seen 'javert has been annoying me' floating around and i really don't like the choice of 'annoy'#it has connotations that aren't supposed to be there imho#since the verb used in french is 'troubler'#but what do i know as esl#but none of the three translations in my native language translated it with anything resembling my understanding of 'annoy'#and wilbour doesn't either#javert#jean valjean
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Have you ever played/watched a playthrough of the game 12 Minutes? I think you'd like one of the reveals in it.
I did watch a full playthrough a while back. Unfortunately for this recommendation, I thought it was <3 stupid <3 No offense to anyone who likes it, I just thought the design of the loop in the first place was a bit clunky, the characters were sort of eh, and then the reveals themselves were, as I remember and as they played out on whatever stream I was watching, just kind of bad? A poorly put together story surrounded by poorly put together gameplay, but. like. willem dafoe was there 👍
#truly no greater evidence of the fact that you can’t just put sudden incest in your game for your shocking twist and expect me to find it at#all interesting or thought-provoking or even like. god. i don’t know what emotion they wanted the reveal to prompt honestly.#certainly didn’t do anything for me or for whoever i saw streaming it.#like they were just fucking frustrated at how obtuse the game had gotten at that point. which generally in point and clicks is sort of#expected except that the nature of the time loop being so set in stone meant that the feeling of making no progress was made even more#irritating than it would usually be in such a game. anyway my point is they were fucking annoyed and the reveal just made them go :/ uhm.#okay? like not even really disgust or horror or anything at that point just like. yeah alright i guess this is new information i’m being#given. idk what to do with it though.#like i think the ‘incest all along’ sort of twist needs to really hook you with the characters first so that you’re invested in the#relationship before the curtain is pulled back. and invested in a way that depending on the story either makes you sort of have an internal#struggle with your own instinctive disgust against your investment because part of you wants these characters you like to be happy together#anyway while another part of you knows that there’s something disturbing happening here. or like the entire thing should have been written#in such a way that already had you on edge and this final puzzle piece confirms why and you sit back and soak in the horror.#i *think* 12 minutes wanted to be the second one? i saw ‘think’ because it failed at being either and in the end the twist went over like#a lead balloon. just sort of shit. like im the incest guy and even i thought it was shit. anyway.#ask#tw incest
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ok be real with me is it weird to write my downstairs neighbor a note about her sexcapades?
#I’m all for it!! i am!!#i just she’d be more..mindful?#i wish i was laying when i say our walls and floors are paper thin#it’s one of the reasons I’m heavily considering moving because i have to walk on eggshells as to not disturb her#she has the upper hand because no one is directly below her#so she can be as loud as she wants in terms of walking#all I’m asking for is a heads up#but i realize that that’s not her problem really? and she doesn’t owe me anything#idk her bedroom is where mine is so i hear everything and it’s annoying#the other solution is that i start being loud as fuck 🤷🏼♂️#and we’ll see who says what first lol
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I was finally able to see The Green Mile. My verdict?
#the green mile#frank darabont#tom hanks#michael clarke duncan#doug hutchison#sam rockwell#barry pepper#I was this 😭 for a significant portion of it#the worst part is that my mom walked into the room as ceratin horrifying scene was taking place#she was so upset she thought I was letting it play along 'cause I was desensitized over disturbing content#she actually thought I was rather enjoying it since I ellicited no reaction whatsoever#which offended me#but the truth of the matter is I was so shocked and horrified at the sequence that I simply couldn't keep my eyes off of the screen#and I wanted to sob my eyes off but my mom's constant nagging blocked the tears from flowing since I was so annoyed#I even apologized not once but twice for her having to witness such a calamity#i really did that#😒#film#cinema#streaming
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i like making aus
#deltarune#my art#ralsei#noelle deltarune#susie deltarune#deltarune au#this is supposed 2 be a deltaswap thing. lolz#susie swaps w kris noelle swaps w ralsei ralsei swaps w susie and i have to figure out the rest#you play (not really because at the moment i dont plan on making a fangame) as the soul#the red soul. uuuummmm something goes wrong during gaster's survey and you end up in this wacky world!!!!#susie senses a disturbance in the force or whatever so you don't actually possess her#she lets you make important decisions and do things in battle but shes a strong indipendent waman#then she gives you her old toy (cat thing in the border) to use as a vessel#it turns grey because its possessed#and noelle gives you a shirt#the gang knows that the soul exists and talks to you yippee#susie keeps the soul as a pet and is the leader of the party#more annoying things about this au coming later 🤓#im calling it triscript because its a cool name#triscript
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Here goes my "a week without mental breakdowns" streak.
Aka the week in which my sister was on vacation. Now just the thoguht of her being back brought me to the Edge of one.
👏👏👏
(Don't get me wrong tho, I love my sis and she doesn't do the stuff on purpose but STILL)
#tw mental health#tw breakdown#i mean i too dos stuff that triggers her#but that's stuff I can't really change#but when i ask her for ONE (1) tiny thing she CAN change#nope doesn't happen#and when she tells me to stop something I go extra miles to avoid her hearing me do it#but now i am tempted to just simnply not do that anymore until she's learned to close that frigging door corretly#now that also her boyfriend will come who closes the door (jsut hers the one i HATE being closed without pressing the handle down) the same#means twice as much noises#AND she will unpack her suitcase#and bc her bf is here she'll close her roomdoor for that#aka i can look forward to her opening and closing the time again and again and again and over and over and over again and again#I know I could ask her to PLS close it normaly#but last time i did...#she only told me what stuff I do that annoys her#I Changed mine#she didn't#so yeah#don't want another lecture of her telling me that the thigns I love to do (aka writing) disturb her#(my mom^s keyboard is exaclty the same. it sounds the same. but that is okay for her)#she has a problem with me chewing. BUT can lean agianst her boyfriend while he chews#and sorry that boy chews Way louder than I do#sometimes i feel like her misphonia s selective#mehh
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i hate the fact that this game is making me appreciate dmmd out of any other BL. then again i haven't played any particularly good ones but at least there were like 3/5 non-creepy routes in dmmd yk?
#togainu no chi was. disturbing#i loved the old guy until he said the protag reminded him of his son?? and then proceeded to have sex with him???#and don't even get me started on that goth twink#not the blonde one i think he was fine#hashihime of the old book town was soooo annoying. the two lis i liked ended up being major creeps#and in a secret route the protag ended up fucking with his adopted son???????#idk if dream daddy counts as BL since it's western but i liked that one. it's cute. and it has hot old men#but i really wish there were more BLs with dark stories and non-creepy LIs
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I HATE REPEATING PHRASES I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL
#i dont really hate it i know its just a part of me but im feeling self conches a bit#sometimes ya just wanna like sew ur mouth shut and hid in a corner where u wont disturb anyone#but then we remember!!! i deserve to be here#i just know it's annoying 😞#parrot ass saying obamna ass#shhchri#my new one is fucking 'my god' like that bitch from Futurama and i LITERALLY said it right after i woke up when i realized my phone 2%#okay sorry tumblr journal entry over
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i would always listen to friday im in love as I walk to my seminar on thursday 1pm and I was always late to this class because it was early enough for me to need to wake up early for the bus but not so early that i was stressed about waking up and i would listen to it thinking today's nothing, tomorrow's when it's coming and every time i listen to it now i go back autumn/winter 2022 cold and damp running up 2 flights of stairs never looking back
#ameera speaks#uni stuff#because i was always late to that class for a brief second when i was taking my headphones off they would sound really loud#and i would always put on my best music thursday morning so the people in the class would at least think i listen to good music#i was never crazy late just 10 mins at most and it was a seminar AND really small class so i didnt disturb everyone#and i alwags made up for it by having the most notes written and therefore the most to say#my philosopy was if you annoy the people around you in one way (always late) you make it up in other ways (good notes)#that way if they complain about you they say yeah shes well annoying shes always late but at least she said that interesting thing about ___#but they probably woukd actually say yeah shes annoying shes always late AND she never shuts up idk idc
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when i was a kid i used to write stories about dr. katz, a 6 foot tall cat man who was a paediatrician. but he’d always eat all his patients. he ate children. i never explained how he kept his job, considering all the dead children. anyways, i’d always draw him wearing an old fashioned nurse uniforms, like in cartoons. that wasn’t to imply crossdressing was some creepy lunatic thing, i just found it more fun to draw a nurse’s uniform than some regular doctor uniform
#it wasn't very deep. dr. katz just lures kids into his exam room and eats them#while the parents wait obliviously#they sent me to principal and he told me not to draw/write dr. katz anymore because it was too disturbing apparently#this annoyed me#so for next creative writing class i wrote a story#about a magical talking watermelon who is happy all the time. and he uses his magic to make other people happy all the time#and by ''makes'' i don't mean he provides things that make people happy. he MADE people happy. all the time. by force#(pretty biting satire for a 9 year old eh?)#and the principal found this delightful (lacking any self awareness) and told me to keep up the good work#the next week i went back to dr. katz stories. i just really liked drawing that upright cat wearing a nurse uniform okay!#so to me. a magical talking watermelon is my symbol for stifled creativity#i eventually got bored of repeatedly writing/drawing a cat doctor graphically murdering children#but point is it was up to ME when i stopped doing that#anyways something i like about the dr. katz world is how apparently a giant cat being a member of human society isn't anything abnormal#and as i said repeatedly to my teachers and friends: no he isn't pretending to be a doctor. he went to medical school. he is a doctor#he just chooses to... eat his patients. he gets paid for it too#but like if he wanted to he would actually be a really good doctor
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