#it’s been a while since we’ve done these

[mybworlds]

Chapter 9: Emptiness

Pairing: joel miller x f!reader (no use of Y/N) | Rating: 18+ Minors DNI | W.C.:

Summary: Your life sounds perfect: you live with a perfect man, you live in your dream house, you do the job you love, you don't miss anything, except love and passion.

Warnings: no use of Y/N, use of you, reader is a photographer, reader has no physical descriptions except hair (no type or color) long enough to hold on to, unspecified age gap, Joel and reader are two cheaters, for a while. Smut, use of pet names, dirty talk, masturbation, unprotected PiV but the first time, creampies, comeplay, oral (both f and m recieving), exhibitionism, size kink, personal use of an unspecified sex toy. No outbreak here. Let me know if I missed anything!

Masterlist

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Thx for the dividers @saradika-graphics

Taglist @harriedandharassed

The air suddenly becomes suspended, as if charged with a strange electricity. Patrick no longer speaks and Joel seems to have become a statue, you don't know what to do or say. You wish you hadn't been so direct and hasty in your words, but now it's done, you can't go back.

“Patrick?” you resume “I'm sorry, but I had to tell you the truth. It's not fair that you still believe or hope that we'll get back together.” you are lapidary even though you don't know if there will actually something with Joel, but you really hope so.

Patrick sighs, “I see.” He sighs again, “Are you happy?”

You feel a tightness in the pit of your stomach, you close your eyes and look up at Joel who instead is not looking at you anymore and you feel empty. Is he afraid? Does he not want to? Does he not care about you?

On the other hand, he’s always been clear, he told you since your first meeting that he doesn't want a relationship with you or anyone else, why should he change his mind now? For you? Not even before you were in bed, he told you that he wanted a future with you, he just told you that he was fine, but... while for you that might mean having feelings, for him it might not be like that.

“I'm confused.” You are sincere in your response to Patrick.

“He doesn’t want you?” he asks you.

You look up at Joel who has his back to you now, his body turned toward the kitchen and his hands resting on the sink, his head still low.

“I don't know.” You answer him and in those moments, seeing his reaction, you can't help but wonder if deep down you didn't do everything wrong with Joel and Patrick. “Patrick, I'm sorry,” you add, clutching the phone tighter.

“We’ve both hurt each other, baby.” He sighs. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with him, but I hope he makes you feel more important than I did.” he adds with a regretful tone.

You wanted to tell him that given Joel's expression, it's highly unlikely that you can or he will want to continue seeing you. But you don’t say anything.

“I wish you every happiness,” Patrick tells you again.

“Yes, you too.” there’s still a moment of silence between you, then he ends the call.

You place the phone on Joel's kitchen peninsula and then look up, taking in the weight of the words you just said: Joel is silent and motionless as if everything he has heard has robbed him of the strength to move and speak. He still doesn't look at you.

“Joel?” you call, getting up from the stool. “I’m sorry you heard it that way, but… it’s the truth.”

He sighs, looking towards the window next to the kitchen, “Do you know why I never wanted to bond with someone again?” he asks without looking at you.

You shake your head, even though you know he's not looking at you.

“Because I can’t stand to see or hear words like the ones I heard. D’ you know what my ex-wife said to me when I tried to find a way to get back together?” he pauses, a long one and that's when he turns towards you “That she had fallen in love with someone else, that she was confused, that things between us weren't workin’. Do you know how that made me feel? Useless, a useless man." he nods “And the worst thing is that Patrick is my friend and I did what I did to him.”

You frown, “There were two of us, there have always been two of us who were together, in confiding in each other.” You tell him almost in a pleading tone “Please, don’t feel guilty. We both wanted it.” he shakes his head. “Joel? Please don’t.” a horrible creepy feeling spreads inside you, Joel doesn't want you. He's pushing you away.

Your eyes fill with tears, your lips tremble, you look down, while timid tears fly towards the floor. You feel like throwing up, a feeling of rejection, of pain tightens your stomach making you almost unable to breathe.

“Please, talk to me.” you beg.

His face becomes tense, then he finally looks up at you and the sweet look you had found there until a few minutes ago has disappeared. He looks cold, his gaze hard, then shakes his head, “I can’t.” his gaze is empty, unrecognizable.

“Maybe we could...”

“No.” his tone is cold, he doesn’t allow for replies “There’s no us.” you freeze in place "You better go.” he adds, looking everywhere but at you.

The world around you is spinning wildly. Suddenly nothing seems to make sense, every thought you have is jumbled together so meaningless. Your lower lip is trembling, shy tears are streaming down your cheeks, “That was the reason why I just fucked. Now even that won't be possible anymore because every time it’ll happens, I won't be able to help but wonder if I will see your same look in another woman, or if any other woman won't want to change her life because of me." his is a thin whisper in which each word is well articulated and impossible not to hear.

You’re about to tell him not to shut himself away, not to treat you like this, but he interrupts you again, “When you go out, make sure you close the door tightly.”

You're about to repeat his name and beg him not to treat you like this, but nothing comes out of your mouth, not even a sound. He gives you one last long, silent look, then you're left alone in his house.

You look desperate and absent at the same time, you don't even know where you're going. You only know that you're empty, completely empty. Your heart is beating hard in your chest, it hurts. You are speechless and almost breathless. What happened has completely shaken you. You are struggling not to give in to the tears that are building up in the back of your eyes.

Everything is destroyed. Everything is lost.

You have lost everything.

You have nothing left and what could have been a beautiful project that you could have shared with him, with Joel, has disintegrated because by his own admission he himself has already lived everything and does not intend to do it again. He's always been clear from the beginning. His previous relationship burned him so much that even his heart is reduced to ashes and now maybe hearing it beat again for someone pains him so much that he doesn't want to feel it.

You wipe away your tears a couple of times, not wanting to attract anyone's attention. You know that surely no one will even look at your face, but crying for you has always been an act to be done alone.

You have now arrived in front of your shop, the seat of your great infinite pride, your job. Maybe everything can start from here, from who you are, a photographer, a good photographer. And it's not you who says it, but the people who turn to you.

You struggle to concentrate, your mind often goes back there, to that silent goodbye. Joel won't go back. If his ex-wife hurt him as much as he says, he won't look for you again.

No matter how hard you try to think positively, to focus on something else, your mind always takes you back to that exact moment, to when you destroyed three lives at once, when you uttered those fateful words.

I fell in love with someone else.

You feel stupid because for a day you really had illusions that Joel could choose you, but then all of that dissolved before your eyes, shattering your hopes and your heart.

Emptiness.

That's what you feel.

Emptiness.

Just a deep, unbridgeable void.

As the hours pass, the situation does not improve, indeed it seems always be worse.

You feel weak, cowardly, maybe the problem is not Patrick or Joel who clearly rejected you, but you are the problem. Maybe you need so much love, passion, desire that you don't care about making others feel bad if you're fine.

What kind of person have you become?

Daisy's words that should comfort you make you collapse into a state of great despair. She’s very sweet, she takes great care of you in every possible and imaginable way, but all this doesn't lift your spirits.

You don't know what kind of person you are anymore. You once knew exactly who you were and what you wanted, you thought you knew it and you went straight down that road.

The result?

You hit a wall called Joel Miller. A wall that left your heart broken, bleeding and humiliated you like no one had ever done before.

But you want to make a last desperate attempt, you want to talk to him. You want to do it calmly, find the right words and not be reckless. You know it will almost certainly hurt to hear certain things, but you want to hear them. You have two.

Are you a masochist?

Yes, maybe.

But then you tell yourself that if he's cruel to you again, you'll be the one who doesn't want to think about him anymore. You want him, you want him in your life, but you don't want someone who makes you feel weak and vulnerable, who uses you and then throws you away like that.

You are not like that, you know it. You know you are worth so much more than this. You deserve better. And if that better is being without Joel Miller, then so be it.

Daisy of course advises you against it. She says you aren’t thinking clearly yet. You feel confused, but determined.

It's been almost three weeks and now you're sure you want to talk to him, you need to. Even if you know you probably won't get a different answer than the one you've already had, but as much as it may hurt you now you want to put an end to it.

The emptiness he left in you has given way to disappointment and anger.

You reach his house thinking about what to say to him, but everything seems stupid or incoherent. You are in front of his place.

You ring the bell.

What the fuck are you doing here?

You hear a voice shouting ‘comin’, it’s a woman. Your heart skips a beat. A moment later, a beautiful woman opens the door. The woman is wearing a bathrobe, she looks strong and determined, but above all happy. She smiles at you, “You’re the delivery guy, aren’t you? You were fast!”

You're shocked, “No... uhm, is Joel there?”

“Yes, are you a colleague of his?” she asks you, pulling the edges of his bathrobe a little tighter.

“No.”

“So, who are you?” she asks.

“Uhm…”

“Tess, who’s there?” another voice from inside reaches your ears. It's Joel.

Joel appears behind her, opening the door a little wider. His expression changes from puzzled to astonished, then he becomes gloomy, “What are you doing here?” he asks you.

What are you doing there? You're wondering that too.

Tess looks at your face, then at Joel's. You don't know what to answer.

You kind of expected it, but not in such a brutal way. He replaced you even though he told you he couldn't do that anymore after what you told him.

“Sorry, I was wrong to come.” You don’t know what else to say to them.

How stupid!

You turn your back on them, feeling a lump in your throat. You move away quickly from Joel’s place. You were wrong to go there, but now more than ever you feel like you can move on and stop thinking about him. He has already replaced you. There’s nothing left for you.

You decide you don't want to think about Joel Miller anymore, since you met him you have fallen into a vortex of passion, he has satisfied you every time, but no one has shattered your heart like he did. You hold your hair with both hands, tonight you stay in your shop where you tinker with the computer. You look back at all the photoshoots you've done over the last two years and think about how many times you've put yourself aside to please others, but making yourself unhappy and pretending it was your decision.

Now all this has to end. From now on you will only think about yourself, for a while enough with love. You have only known how to make a lot of messes. You go through some old emails and find one from a few years ago that you received for a fashion show of a prestigious fashion house. You never wanted to trash it because you liked to remember that moment and then because in the email as a post scriptum they had written to you that if you had been interested there would always have been a place for you. It was really a great service that you did, you remember that they wrote to you that the sales had even tripled after your work!

You smile while looking at the screen. Why not!

Maybe Saint Barbara will do you good.

[hevs-dreamworld]

Iris:

“Hmm, if I had to explain my day in the life. Before I moved in with Nazo and Seelkadoom, I usually got up at around 2-3PM and start doing my skincare and hair. Depending on the day, I’d also use that time to get any shedding scales off my face, arms, and tail. Once done I would get ready for anything I had planned that day. If it’s a day off, I’d go hang around the city and get some tea at my favorite cafe. I can’t say where, because I don’t know who’s around me at the moment. Either that or I’d hang around my friends, or go visit people at the homeless shelters and orphanages. The little ones at the orphanage always have amazing ideas for their home. I just hope I can give enough support to where they can grow up healthy and let their dreams become reality.”

“If it’s a work night? I’d get dressed up for work, let my makeup artist do my makeup as I do vocal warm-ups, and then go perform. Afterwards I go visit with my regulars and then go through all the gifts with my boss, clock out, and go home at around 6:00AM. Get home at around 7-8:00AM, do my skincare, then go to sleep. My skincare schedule fluctuates, but I try not to skip a day.”

“With Nazo and Seelkadoom, it’s pretty much the same, but I wake up later than the other two, and Seelkadoom goes to work with me since we have a similar schedule. However, I noticed that me and the whole group of villains have gotten closer the past couple of months.. I’m glad they’re starting to trust me at least a little bit!”

Nazo:

“I usually get up pretty early to pick up Iris and seelkadoom. They both get off work at around 7:00AM. Whenever Iris goes to bed, me and seelka tend to train for a couple of hours at our gymnasium. It’s small, but it’s proofed to the maximum possible standard for our levels of power. It’s also been recently sound proofed since we’re going to be hosting a lot of events this year. Once done with training and seelka goes to bed, I get into my workings. Get in contact with anyone who sends me out a contract to help with anyone particularly dangerous, check on the event venues I have reserved for the year, quick check on the market to see what’s happening, and then I go do my daily care. If I don’t have any emergency contracts, I tend to take my time and enjoy a glass of tea and read some books about history. If I have no contracts that day, then I spend it with seelka and the others. Otherwise I spend a lot of time reading, drawing, writing, anything to really fill in the time. Although, recently me and seelkadoom have noticed that we’ve been hanging around Iris a lot. Honestly. I’ve been going out a lot more because of her, and it’s helped me get to know her more as a person than just a guest. It feels nice, knowing she’s warming up to us. I mean, even with the weird sleep schedules, we always find a way to spend time together, and I can appreciate that.”

Seelkadoom:

“Much like Iris, I wake up pretty late in the afternoon and do my daily tasks. Chores, checking emails from the office, and checking the work group chat and see what happened when me and Iris are out. I’m telling you, stuff gets quite spicy when we’re not there. Anyways, I usually then get dressed and head out to whatever errands needed to be run. I usually do this with Nazo, but sometimes Iris tags along to get a look at the upper city she hasn’t seen yet. Don’t get me wrong, the lower city is gorgeous, it’s arguably prettier and safer than the upper city. However, the upper city is usually reserved for the ultra wealthy, but it’s also the busiest part of the city due to a lot of the shopping being there. So, it gives her an excuse to explore while we do errands! Once that’s done, I get ready for work and Me and Iris head to the casino!”

——————————

@hunniegl4zed @thebreadmeower @sonic-au-collision

for the characters!! how would u describe ur day to day life??

First question for the characters!!

[lolashifts]

SHIFTING ISN'T SPECIAL

please bare with me on this one bc it might be a bit longer than i expected (and excuse my very bad title-naming skills 😭)

in this essay i will try to put down in words exactly what i realised today as i started my first day into reprogramming my mind, something that i’m doing while following reya singh’s method. what is that?

shifting IS easy.

yes, i know everybody says it, but it’s the truth and i’m not telling you this as someone who shifts regularly to her drs, because i don’t (yet!). however, it did just click in my mind why people always say it and mean it. and i feel incredibly stupid for not understanding it waaay earlier than just now, 4 years into my journey.

now, let me walk you through the thought process behind this.

in reya’s 4-day method for reprogramming your mind, she instructs to write a list of your beliefs and non-beliefs. this may sound really silly and kinda useless at first - believe me, i woke up this morning thinking “what exactly am i supposed to do after that?” - but there’s a valid reason for it, which is to help you delete from your mind the idea that shifting is like a superpower that’s simply not for everyone and very hard to reach, when that is not the case at all!

in my own beliefs list, i’ve written “i am capable of shifting” right in between “i can speak english”, “i can write and read” and “i can eat --” (and some other things like “i can’t eat gluten”, bc i have celiac disease, “i can dream”, we all do! and “i can lucid dream”). you see where i’m going with this? i’m putting shifting in the same category as things we all normally do, that we sometimes don’t even think about doing since they’re such a natural activity. to this list i could add “i can breathe”, because we do it automatically, without even realising unless we focus on it. the same can be said for drinking or eating really, if you’re angry or thirsty you just go and get whatever pleases you the most and not dwell on it.

in the non-beliefs list, i’ve written obvious things like santa and the easter bunny (which isn’t common here in italy tbf but yeah) and sentences like “i can’t swim”, “i can’t draw”, “i can’t eat strawberries” and in between them also “i don’t fear shifting”. here, the point is that all these listed beliefs are stuff i know for a fact to be false: i can swim perfectly, i am an artist and i love strawberries + i’m not allergic to them or anything. by placing shifting there, i'm stating that just like i KNOW i can swim or whatever, i also KNOW i'm not scared of shifting.

you’re literally gaslighting your subconscious mind into believing what is real for a fact and what isn’t.

after writing down this list, which can be done on paper just like on your preferred device, i reread everything twice explaining to myself why i chose these things and why they are beliefs or not. that’s how i realised that shifting is easy. when people talk about it “clicking” they weren’t lying!

shifting isn’t special, this is what the list thing tries to prove you. it’s not special because, just like breathing and eating and reading, we do it subconsciously everyday. take your own first language: you speak it naturally without having to doubt it, and if you know a second language well enough like i know english for instance (my mother-tongue is italian) then you can even start talking to yourself and think in that language without having to search up translations.

what’s the difference with shifting then?

the difference is that shifting hasn’t been taught to us in the same way as a language has been, all throughout school. the same thing goes for reading and writing: we read and write naturally because we’ve been taught how to when we were young and it’s now engraved in our brains, just like with learning our first language, which is something we normally do thanks to our teachers, our families and the people around us, of course. this doesn’t happen with shifting in most cases, as we all know, which means it’s normal for it to take a bit to grasp as a concept and existing thing/activity. it’s natural, most of us human beings just don’t know about it, nor that we’re capable of doing it.

this is why i said it’s not special: just like breathing, everybody can do it (and so do you)!

going back to the non-beliefs list; i should also add that as a society we usually are taught what to believe in from a young age, and specifically what is believed to be a fantasy, a dream, or something real. as grown-ups, though, we have the right to believe in whatever we want, like shifting. as a realistic person, i understand that some people may have a hard time believing something as great as shifting could be true, because it genuinely doesn’t sound like it! so yes, this is also a factor that can and does make it harder for someone to trust their guts and expect to wake up somewhere that’s only fictional here.

shifting clicks for everybody at different times, but i hope this post will help some of you here understand it better and know that what more experienced shifters say always has a meaning, you just need the time to properly reflect on it to get it!

when it clicked for me a few hours ago i felt a huge rush of adrenaline and happiness bc yes, i can actually shift. i’m just overcomplicating it for no reason and so many of you are doing the same!

it’s okay though, we’ll all get there <3

(psa: if you saw any grammar mistakes or anything NO YOU DIDN'T and also please don't mind if this rant doesn't sound logical, i tried my best to explain myself like i wanted to 🥲)

[kooksvspogues]

Happy 1st Birthday Lilian!! 🥳

Part 4 -

Authors note: Let me know if y’all are enjoying the slow burn with this story or have any suggestions! Would love some more input from y’all ❤️❤️❤️

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~~~~~ Drew’s POV ~~~~~

I know I told her I didn’t want anything more than to just be friends, but how could I not want more. The connection we had the night at the wedding was something I’ve never experienced before. She is something I’ve never experienced before. I thought I could handle being around her and keeping our deal, and I think I could’ve if Austin never showed this much interest in her. The way he talked about her when she was walking into the pool with my niece; “look at the ass on that girl, holy shit, and those boobs, jaaackpooot” he grinned putting up both his fist waiting for Chase and I to bump his, to which I just gave him a stern stare while Chase nonchalantly bumped his fist, trying to send a text.

“You know girls aren’t just a piece of ass, right?” I stared at him

“Well yeah, but it makes it so much better when they have one, ya know why I’m talking about Drew” he winks at me

“That’s my sisters friend, don’t do anything stupid” I plead

“I won’t do anything she isn’t about” Austin tapped my shoulder before getting up and joining Mack and Maddie in the pool.

I couldn’t help the pit that was forming in my stomach or the rage and adrenaline I was feeling in my entire body. I watched as she smiled up at him, but not the same way she smiles at me. She kept trying to keep her distance with him no matter what he tried, and for that, I was grateful.

Austin snatching her up before anybody could say anything to be his partner for beer pong, now that hurt. Beer pong was how we met at the wedding. She stepped up to be my partner since my buddy Paul had stepped away and she ended up being the best partner I’ve ever had in beer pong, plus, she was nice to look at too.

She had done changed out of her bridesmaid dress and into a short light yellow dress and had ditched her heels. Her curled dark brown hair was falling around her shoulders, and for some weird reason, all I could think of was the Disney princess, Belle. When I found out her name was Maddie and put it together that she was my sister’s roommate in college, I couldn’t help but me intrigued. I had heard so many stories and felt like I knew her personally but this was the first time we have been in the same area at the same time.

We won every round of beer pong we did. We laughed and flirted with each other like it was the most normal thing we’ve ever done. When we finally got done playing, we went upstairs to where the balcony was. I had untucked and unbuttoned my shirt to where it was just hanging, leaving the undershirt revealed. I sat down, leaned against the paneling,before pulling her down to sit in between my legs and lean back against my chest. Opening the bottle of champagne we snatched on the way up. That was the most comfortable I had ever been. We sat there for hours just talking about everything, what we wanted out of life, where we wanted to be in 10 years, family, kids, kid name ideas, dream vacations, just anything that come up while we just sat there playing with each others hands and passing the bottle back and fourth with the other. At one point she turned sideways and put her legs over mine while one of her hand planted itself on the wood behind us causing her to face me.

“You really are not what I expected” she admitted

“I’m gonna need you to elaborate on that, love” I teased smiling

“Just that, I have seen pictures of you, but just didn’t really expect you to be this hot in person, plus the fact that you’re insanely amazing at conversation.” She admits, her face turning a light shade of red when she makes eye contact with me

“I could say the same thing about you” I smile before leaning in closer to her, looking back and forth from her eyes to her lips. I reached up and placed my hand on the side of her neck, my thumb against her jaw just as our lips met.

“You are so beautiful” I whisper to her, feeling her smile against my lips, as she pulls her legs back to her before turning completely and straddling me, reconnecting our lips immediately.

The kiss was so deep, tender, gentle, rough, everything you could ever want in a kiss. What felt like would never end got cut short the moment I started kissing down her neck. She tapped my chest making me pull back and look up at her.

“We shouldn’t be doing this, your Mack’s brother” she says starting to stand up

“Maddie..” I say grabbing her hand

“No, let’s just pretend it didn’t happen, okay? For Mack?” She begs and I just nod slightly, watching as she takes a deep breath before running back downstairs.

Now I’ve had to watch Austin’s hand on the small of her back, lifting her up, her almost naked body against his, his hand so close to her ass and his face so close to her chest, then for him to have the audacity to place his hand on her leg right next to me.

I couldn’t do it, I can’t watch this, I can’t let her get away this time. I just need to make sure she still feels something on her end towards me before I do anything else. Which is why my feet quickly sped upstairs to her once Mack came back outside, telling everyone I had to run to the bathroom.

But, yet again, she ran away. But she also didn’t deny still feeling anything. Just gonna take some time to break through that wall, and I’m willing to do whatever I got to do.

~~~~~ Maddie’s POV ~~~~~

I walk into the downstairs bathroom, closing and locking the door quietly. Fanning my eyes, trying to keep myself from crying, but I fail quickly at that, feeling a tear fall from both eyes. I place my hands on the counter and look at myself in the mirror.

“I got this, it’s just a week of being around him, I can make that, I’m here for Lilian and Mack, that’s it” I whisper to myself before looking down at the floor shaking my head. I wipe the few tears away, open the door, and head back outside when I see Drew coming down the stairs.

“Maddie” he says

“Drew” I say opening the back door slightly

“Wait” he says just as I open the door completely and walk out “or not” I hear him mumble before walking out behind me, keeping the door cracked just incase Lilian wakes up.

Everyone else was back in the pool so I went to the edge and just sat down putting my feet in the water. A few minutes later, Drew walks over with two bottles of beer, offering one to me.

“Truce?” He asks as I look up at him

“…truce” I say grabbing the bottle as he goes to sit down next to me.

“I’m sorry” he whispers as we watch the rest of the groups playing beer pong

“It’s okay, I get it, that night was great, neither one of us can deny that, but me and you in any way, just can’t happen” I whisper to him

“Can I ask why?” He asks looking over at me with curious eyes

“Me and Mack made a promise, both of us have brothers, we knew at some point we’d meet them, and we promised that family, especially brothers were off limits cause we never wanted to jeopardize our friendship in any way” I explain quietly as he nods biting his lip, looking down at her hands right next to each other.

“I get that.. but is that real—“ He starts but I cut him off when I see Austin swimming over to us grabbing my legs, rubbing his thumb against them

“Hey gorgeous” he smiles up at me as I smile down at him slightly, “want to come be my partner again?” He asks me

“Nah, I’m good right here, I’ve done dried off” I say

“Oh okay, well if you change your mind, I’ll be waiting for you” he winked before getting called back over for his turn.

“Is that really gonna be a thing?” Drew asks looking over at me

“I don’t know… he’s sweet.. we’ll see” I confess

“Please don’t jump into something with him” he pleads

“I’ll be okay” I smile over at him

“I know, but still..” he says locking eyes with me as we just stare at each other.

“Why aren’t you looking away?” He asks me smirking

“Oh shut up” I say smiling, pushing him away making him laugh

“You can’t do that” he says in a warning tone

“Do what?” I ask furrowing my eyebrows

“Look at me like that” he states

“Like what?” I curiously ask

“Like you want me to just lean over and kiss you like we did their wedding night, like we’re the only two people that are here” he quietly explains keeping his eyes locked with mine

“Are you ever gonna give that up?” I tease him knocking my shoulder into his

“Not a chance sweetheart” he winks at me making me shake my head.

“You’re a headache” I laugh

“Just a man trying to be your headache, my bad” he throws his arms up laughing making me roll my eyes playfully

I catch Mack and Garrett in the corner of my eye looking over at us before whispering something to each other. I clear my throat and jerk the huge smile off my face looking over at the group of boys playing beer pong.

Me and Mack lock eyes and she has her arms crossed, an eyebrow raised, with a slight smirk on her face. I raise my eyebrows at her in curiosity and she just shakes her head, still smirking before looking away from me.

Great…

Chase and Austin end up leaving not too long after they got done with playing beer pong. Of course, Austin couldn’t leave without planting a kiss on my cheek. Which made me feel more weird than anything.

“Mack, can I stay here, I’m too drunk to drive home” Logan says a lot louder then needed as he wrapped his around around me planting his chin on the top of my head

“Yeah, that’s fine, Drew you staying here too?” Mack’s asked

“Yeah, might as well” he says

“Okay, y’all can take the other guest bedroom till mom gets here if you want or one can stay on the couch and the other in the bed, y’all choose.” Mack tells them, “you know where everything is, me and Garrett are going to bed” she said giving all of us a hug, “do you need anything before I go to bed?” She asks me when we she pulls away

“Oh no, I’m good, thank you though” I smile at her as she gives me a look that I can’t decipher before walking upstairs.

“Mads, can I just sleep with you, I want cuddles” Logan begs

“Why don’t you go cuddle with your brother” I tease

“That’s weird” he said making me and Drew laugh

“Here, let’s get you to bed” Drew says taking Logan’s arms off me before walking him to the guest room. I go to the fridge and grab a bottle of water before heading for the stairs.

“Hey, goodnight” Drew says at the door. I turn to face him, giving him a smile

“Goodnight Starkey” I say before going up the stairs and into my room.

I decide to go ahead and get a quick shower, wash off all of the stress from today. When I get out, I throw on a big shirt and crawl into bed. Leaning over to turn the lamp off is when I notice a note sitting on the nightstand. I grab it off the table to read it,

Maddie,

I know you say that we can’t happen and all I know as of right now is because of Mack. But, at any point you’re ready to give it a shot, I’ll be waiting, cause I’m not giving up on you. There’s nothing in me that will allow me to. Just give in to what we both know you’re feeling.

Text me - ###-###-####,

Drew

I can’t help but smile but also know deep down I can’t give in completely. Not yet. But I do decide to go ahead and add his number to my contacts, deciding to go ahead and text him so he has my number too, just incase something ever happens and he needs it.

“Goodnight again Starkey” I text him and roll over to get comfortable.

“Goodnight beautiful, glad to finally have your number” he texts me back.

I shake my head, deciding to leave it at that for right now, closing my eyes and letting the alcohol take over and hopefully giving me a good nights rest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @percysley @dilfs-4life

[thedeadstoryteller1]

Sweet Dreams/ Zanye Spice Fanfic

I finished putting on the last coat of mascara when my phone chimes.  

It’s a message from Zayne: 

Emergency surgery tonight. I’m sorry. Don’t wait for me. I will make it up. 

I let out a groan of annoyance and toss my phone on the bed. For the past month, Zayne has been working overtime at the hospital, with a shortage of medical staff running like the plague. This is the third time he’s had to cancel our dinner plans. I understand the work he does is important; hell, he works so much so he could find a cure to save me from my illness. However the feeling of disappointment and sadness never fails to creep in. I stare at myself in the vanity mirror, disheartened again for having my hair and makeup done so nicely, just for it to go to waste. My hair in loose curls, I spent hours trying to blow it out to give it volume. I was even wearing his favorite earrings and I did a soft glam look. My big statement was the red lipstick that he’d help me choose when we went shopping.  With Zayne’s irregular work hours and my crazy job schedule, we’ve hardly seen each other at all since I moved in with him. It’s been so empty without him here at night, since there are times he’s been sleeping at the hospital. I knew tonight wouldn't be any different; “don’t wait for me” means he's not coming home. Looking at the dress hanging on the closet door a small sigh escapes my lips. I grab my makeup wipes and proceed to take off the freshly finished look. 

“I guess I’ll put you back in the closet…again.” I clean up the vanity and throw the dress in our shared walk in closet. Knowing him, he will pick it up and realize I’m not happy. 

After a few minutes of sulking I decided to hop in the shower again. Washing my hair using my strawberry scented shampoo and his favorite smelling body wash “Jasmine Flower”, I let my sadness out and shed a few tears. Everyone told me about the hard reality of dating a doctor. Zayne, however, always made time and put in so much effort to balance his work life and our life together. That’s why I can’t stay mad at him, no matter how many times I feel this sadness or disappointment. I know it breaks him just as much as me. 

Stepping out of the shower, I let my hair air dry. Normally I’d wear an oversized t-shirt to bed but tonight I went with my silky white lingerie dress. In the slight off chance that he does come home, I wanted to punish him a little bit. Not wearing any panties as well would send him into overdrive.  The very thought of him losing control makes me bite my lip. Flustered, I take it as a sign to go to bed. Following my nightly routine I pick up my phone and text Zayne three simple words. 

I love you

 I place my phone on the nightstand and hop into bed. The scent of Zayne’s cologne on the bed sheets is so faint, a few tears stream down my as I doze off slowly. I’m not sure how much time has passed when I hear the sound of footsteps. Opening my eyes slightly, the clock on my nightstand reads 2:30 am. He’s home?

Zayne is quiet as ever taking off his suit and watch. I know he places them all neatly in his side of the closet. I hear a small “hmm”... he’s definitely picked up the dress and placed it neatly in its home. He jumps into bed beside me. Normally he would shower after coming home from the hospital; he must be exhausted. 

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling my back closer to his chest. I can’t help but let out a small moan; his scent is intoxicating. The smell of hospital and his regular cologne fill the air. Cucumber with mint makes him smell fresh but with an underline of sweet notes like jasmine and lavender. He knows it is my favorite. 

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping.” He whispers in my ear. My body twitches at the sounds of his voice. I push myself closer to him, placing my ass perfectly on his bulge. He’s wearing just his boxers. His hands move down to my breast, my silky lingerie straps start to fall down my shoulders. 

“I’m sorry.” he says while placing small kisses on my neck's sweet spot.  

“Dr. Zayne, you missed our appointment.” I groan tiredly.  My fingers find his hair, tugging softly. His little moan causes my cunt to vibrate. Feeling his breath against my neck, I turn to face him. His green eyes turned dark with lust. 

“My apologies. Let us start your physical.” He huffs before placing his lips against mine. His soft lips part, sliding his tongue in my mouth. The kiss grows deeper as I grind on him. With each second passing, we pull each other closer. With his hand on my breast, his thumb and index finger make small circles on my hard nipple. We gasp for air, it's been so long since we’ve felt each other's embrace. I craved his body like the desert craves water, and it looked like Zayne craved me too. 

I feel Zayne’s rock hard cock twitching with anticipation, he breaks away from our kiss. He positions himself on top of me. His ears are red and his cheeks are burning hot, and our eyes lock for a moment. No words needed to be spoken. I knew what he was saying. 

I miss you. 

For a moment he admires my figure. Scanning me intently, his breathing is heavy and my cunt is yearning to feel his touch. 

“You’ll need to remove your clothes, so I can properly examine you.” His hand tugs at my lingerie slightly. 

“Y- yes Dr. Zayne.” I pull my lingerie off and over my head, fully exposing my body. Zayne’s eyes glimmer as he takes in my form. His hands travel from my waist, his finger tips moving slowly up my torso. Caressing my skin softly, his touch and the cold breeze send goosebumps down my back. Before anything else can be said he leans over and places his mouth on my right nipple. He sucks slightly on it while moving his tongue around in small circles. A bolt of electricity jumps through me, causing me to moan loudly. His hand makes his way to my wet cunt, using his fingers he teases my inner labia. With up and down motions, seeming like he’s going to finger me. Instead he rubs my clit, causing my legs to shake.  

Zayne’s fingers move slowly around my throbbing clint. My hips sway to his rhythm, the feeling of him touching me is enough to make me explode. I moan his name with each circular motion. 

“Z-z-Zayne.” I cry. His mouth leaves my nipple, and he is once again towering over me, admiring how flustered I am. Closing my eyes with the pleasure,   I know he has a small smirk. He knows what he is doing to make me submit to him. He knows I’m his and his only. Before any more seconds pass, he slides his fingers inside me. My back arches, his fingers moving slowly at first, but his tempo increases with each moan that escapes my lips. 

“You're so wet and hot, darling.” he mutters under his breath. “I want to taste you.” Zayne gives me no time to process his words. He quickly removes his fingers and replaces them with his tongue, throwing my legs over his shoulders. His hands hold onto my thighs for support, while his warm sweet tongue explores me like never before. His ferocious licking sends shockwaves throughout my whole body. He spends his time licking my clit, the rubbing motion of his tongue makes my legs start to shake.  

“Z-zayne, I-I’m close baby.” I struggled with my words, the feeling of sweet orgasm so close. 

“Wait for me.” Zayne doesn't hesitate, his boxers flying off the bed.  

“Zayne … I love you.” I say, with that he shoves his cock deep into my pussy. We both let out a loud moan. I grab onto the sheets as he starts stroking. He hits my g-spot everytime as he leans over me, his face buried in my neck. I let go of the sheets and find their way onto his back. My nails make their way into his soft skin; I make sure I don’t hurt him by going too deep. 

“Mhmm.” Zayne moans. “I love you.” he whispers back into my ear. His right hand cups my cheek, while his left hand is used for support so he doesn't crush me. The sound of his grunts in my ear makes my stomach do flips. The feeling of him inside me, stroking hard sends my body into overdrive. I don’t know how much longer I can hold in my orgasm. I want to cum all over his dick, I want to feel his sweet, hot cum inside of me. 

Zayne takes his arms and slides them underneath me and he lifts me up, placing me perfectly on top of him. He holds me close as he continues to drive his dick deep into my cervix. It’s amazing how strong he is, catching a glimpse of his arm muscles flexing. I’m on top of him but he’s doing all the work. I press my forehead to his, locking eyes with him again, his beautiful green eyes gaze into mine. 

“Zayne.” I pant. 

“Cum with me.” He moans.

“Together.” I say as I stare into his eyes. 

No words can describe the sweet feeling of release. He fills me up, causing me to ascend into euphoria. His hot cum inside my body makes me arch my head back, as I let myself go onto him. He holds me close however, not letting me leave his face. He pants profusely, trying to catch his breath. Losing all my strength, I turn into watery mush in his arms. He holds me up, embracing me even harder as he is still inside me. His strength will never cease to amaze me. 

The moon shines brightly into the room, illuminating us. My hair is draped over his face as I continue to lay on top of him, our foreheads still pressed together. His eyes shine brighter. I’m so in love with you, I think to myself. 

“You’re so beautiful in the moonlight.” He says softly, as he kisses my lips again. It’s passionate, two lovers kissing each other again, like it's the last time they will ever get the chance to do so. 

I move away, trying to catch my breath. He smiles, causing me to melt all over again. 

“Don’t leave…please.” I beg him, I blush, trying to hold back the tears. The thought of him having to go back to work breaks my heart into two. 

“I’ve cleared my schedule. We’ll go to the Arctic tomorrow and spend the week there.” 

“B-B-But my work .. I’ve haven't clear-.”

“I've already cleared it with Jenna.” He cuts me off. “ She agrees with. You’ve been working so hard. So its Doctors orders. You rest.”  He whispers. 

I smile, and hug him harder than before. 

“Dr.Zayne. I love you.” I laugh. 

He chuckles slightly and holds me again. 

“Let’s get some sleep my love.” 

We end the night holding each other until we both fall asleep. Tonight I know he won’t have any nightmares, but sweet dreams. For he is smiling in his sleep.

[griffinborn]

ARCANE ENDING ANALYSIS

****obviously SPOILERS ahead****

Everyone is debating whether jinx is alive or dead so here’s my thoughts first I’m going to try and explain my view on WHY jinx is alive but made to look dead and then I’m going to prove HOW she is Alive. And why air vents have nothing to do with it.

WHY JINX IS ALIVE

With ARCANE coming to an end we are to believe that The piltover part of the show is over, the reason?

Well… we all think this season felt rushed, the beats didn’t land properly and character development felt shallow. That is because it was rushed it’s been 9 years since they started writing this story arc and they wanted to end this story arc that had to end at this point in this way.

if they could have produced the more quickly over a shorter period of time they would have streched the arcs and have had better pacing but it’s a long time and they wanted to move on to the next arc of this universe.

That doesn’t mean this is the last we’ll see of these characters or even piltover as a lot of piltover champions haven’t been introduced because this wasn’t the arc for that yet. We get hints of that as we see sevika become a councillor but be met with distrust and being looked down upon so now the class division and healing will go on in the background as we explore different parts of runterra (cause the writers don’t have the competence to write engaging happy stories).

The characters will come back to begin the next arc of their character growth.

Take Vi for example she is not even a person in her own right, right now she’s just ‘dirt beneath Caitlyn’s fingernails’ that does not seem like a fulfilling way to live your life for anyone. But makes sense for Vi, she needs to grow relax not be a person for a while because for her being a person means sacrificing everything she is to save others live for others but she’s never successfully done that she needs to do that live for someone else (1 person- cait) be successful in protecting them so she one day live for herself, find herself, find the meaning of being a person, her own goals. Till now we haven’t seen the story of Vi - just Powder’s sister her keeper since the first scene when she became wholly responsible for her a role that Vander did nothing to deter her from but pushed more heavily onto her.

And we kinda got a happyish end for jinx, NOT because she died so is free, NO, but because she finally got to save Vi not just from death but also stop Vi from killing herself (cause that’s what she has doing staying on that ledge not because she thought she could save Vander but because she left his dead body behind once). Show her that she has to rise above her self sacrificing bulshit, cause that only works when she is the only one protecting others not when she is fighting with others together, cause in those scenarios if she puts herself uncaringly in danger someone else will protect her and get hurt doing so.

She is alive but more importantly ready to go go on a journey of self discovery and define for herself her identity (herself not silco as Vi’s sister but not one dependent on her) away from Piltover and Zaun. Truly find herself, and be ready to come back on her own terms not bcz the outside forces dictate it.

HOW IS JINX ALIVE

I want to preface this by first cursing the guy responsible for camera work on Ep9 May seven generations of your family cry tears of blood!!

it was so hard to figure everything out!

let’s start with our North Star the stationary point around which everything revolves.

You’ll understand that in a moment.

I’ll like to draw everyone’s attention to this Frame.

Aww… Sob.. jinx hugging Vander while she kills them both… 😢 Forget that focus on the background!

the glowing runes the circular shape with an opening in the middle in 3 rings like oh? The hex gate beam!

but that could just be a pretty backdrop yeah I wouldn’t believe that even if this was the first time I was seeing it but it’s not. We’ve seen it before…

here

Here

Directly followed by

then after cutting to jayce and victor in the tunnel, different backgrounds for a sec but none of them from a consistent camera angle

and we’re back here again

Then another cut to jayvik, them finally entering the sphere, and again different backgrounds for jinx/vi/vander

and then? We’re back here again

And it’s here that jayvik enter

Disrupting the vi/jinx/vander fight and creating the ledge.

now the North Star why do I mention it? Because the existence of the gate itself is not enough to prove that the hexgate turned on, so what is?

let’s go back to the image of the blast

Notice that rune in the corner?

that’s also a repeating marker it first appears not when we get the first look at the inside of the hex gate where where jinx/Vi/Ekko/Vander have crashed but after jayvik have started their ascent and the tunnel lights up.

and again when jayvik finally enter the sphere

and again after Viktor has blasted through the ledges and is exiting the sphere

notice the lack of light entering the scene from the hole created by Vi/jinx/ekko But in all these instances the rune has the top horizontal straight line facing away from the tunnel but when the explosion happens the line is facing inwards towards the tunnel that means a the rune turned in its casing implying that a mechanism was activated.

vs

also notice how the tunnel is between the tube on which jinx lands and the ledge vi and vander land on no way that somebody moving like this

will fall towards the centre of the tunnel.

also take these 3 frames

vander gets a hold of jinx

cut to vi coming to rescue

Back to vander with jinx in his grasp turns his head towards incoming vi

The camera in the first and second image is the same, a split second has passed but the background changed.

because the sphere started rotating the moment the tunnel light up the first time, the first time we see the North Star.

Let’s have a positive outlook for the future and until then see you all on ao3

P.S. - If you think my theory makes no sense or the evidence is insufficient or disapproved do let me know….

[faithinlouisfuture]

Louis Birthday Tag Game 🎉

first of all, thank you @noraincsl @berlinini & @bbrox for tagging me <3

when did you become a louie?

september of 2021! right after the first afhf, so many times i wish i had discovered him just a month earlier so that i could have partaken in the excitement of the afhf livestream

your earliest fandom memory?

louis related; when he showed up at that pub in his grey sweats and raced an entire team of men in the streets 😭 louies related; participating in the @louisprojects hallouween fan project that year!!! had so much fun and got to interact with so many amazing louies <3

your favourite song (one off walls, one off fitf)?

these are always so hard to choose but, fearless my most beloved and holding on to heartache my most beloved

your favourite music video?

also a hard question i love the artistic intelligence of the walls mv but i also love love love the vibes and personal nostalgic connection to the ooms music video

favourite gig?

lol for this one i have a biased answer; has to be the one i got to attend of course! ltwt22: istanbul >>> superior!!! 🙌🏽 hehe! all the others i’ve watched through livestreams and thoroughly enjoyed

favourite louis hair?

afhf hair was in a league of its own! 🙌🏽 i’m also an enjoyer of peaky blinders hair louis

favourite louis interview?

unsurprisingly the zach sang ones, especially the last one! i’ve also watched the LADbible snack wars an unhealthy amount of times 🫣

suit louis or tank top louis?

favourite louis tattoo?

the stag tattoo has always been a favorite, but i also love the 28! most recognizable hands ever… also cannot even begin to tell you how much i love the far away tattoo!

favourite louis bodypart? (c'mon we all have one!)

bold of anyone to assume i could pick just one, the whole boy is so beautiful 😭 love love love his gorgeous jewel like sparkling eyes, his most biteable nose ever, his sinful arms 🤤 and his delicious plumpy dumpy 🍑 have to also mention the eye crinkles and dimple 🥹 and neck vein 🫦

no idea who all has done this because i’ve not been on here all day, tagging (feel free to ignore) @thelastattempt @elceeu2morrow @martha0206 @28mindgames @louveyous @silouvertongues @itsallaboutzayn

[where-is-bonnie-isat]

Act 4. King's Hand.

…

Bonnie is in the King’s fist…

[cuteniaarts]

@katkastrofa: *writes a single throwaway line in one chapter of Lost and Found that is never referenced again*

Me, completely randomly and with no prompting: Alright, bet–

[ratsoh-writes]

Mmm should I do an event this weekend?

[ccuriousmischieff]

I can’t find the post rn, but we should do the “send me your tumblr crushes and tag them so they get a little notification” ☺️

[sassmill]

I haven’t looked in on the unfinished side of our basement in a while and… my dad’s hoarding has actually gotten significantly worse. And we just heard from my grandfather last night that he’s pretty sure my grandmother is going to pass soon. And when that happens, my father’s hoarding is absolutely not going to get better. So. That’s a lot. I brought it up to my mom and she told ME to research psychiatrists that specialize in hoarding. It’s a very eldest daughter kind of day.

[ursie]

We are so fucking onto him bestie

WE ARE CONNECTING THE DOTS

[shroomierambles]

why’s it so embarrassing when u start catching feelings for someone aaaaaahhhhhh

[pepprs]

[reasonsforhope]

"For years, California was slated to undertake the world’s largest dam removal project in order to free the Klamath River to flow as it had done for thousands of years.

Now, as the project nears completion, imagery is percolating out of Klamath showing the waterway’s dramatic transformation, and they are breathtaking to behold.

Pictured: Klamath River flows freely, after Copco-2 dam was removed in California.

Incredibly, the project has been nearly completed on schedule and under budget, and recently concluded with the removal of two dams, Iron Gate and Copco 1. Small “cofferdams” which helped divert water for the main dams’ construction, still need to be removed.

The river, along which salmon and trout had migrated and bred for centuries, can flow freely between Lake Ewauna in Klamath Falls, Oregon, to the Pacific Ocean for the first time since the dams were constructed between 1903 and 1962.

“This is a monumental achievement—not just for the Klamath River but for our entire state, nation, and planet,” Governor Gavin Newsom said in a statement. “By taking down these outdated dams, we are giving salmon and other species a chance to thrive once again, while also restoring an essential lifeline for tribal communities who have long depended on the health of the river.”

“We had a really incredible moment to share with tribes as we watched the final cofferdams be broken,” Ren Brownell, Klamath River Renewal Corp. public information officer, told SFGATE. “So we’ve officially returned the river to its historic channel at all the dam sites. But the work continues.”

Pictured: Iron Gate Dam, before and after.

“The dams that have divided the basin are now gone and the river is free,” Frankie Myers, vice chairman of the Yurok Tribe, said in a tribal news release from late August. “Our sacred duty to our children, our ancestors, and for ourselves, is to take care of the river, and today’s events represent a fulfillment of that obligation.”

The Yurok Tribe has lived along the Klamath River forever, and it was they who led the decades-long campaign to dismantle the dams.

At first the water was turbid, brown, murky, and filled with dead algae—discharges from riverside sediment deposits and reservoir drainage. However, Brownell said the water quality will improve over a short time span as the river normalizes.

“I think in September, we may have some Chinook salmon and steelhead moseying upstream and checking things out for the first time in over 60 years,” said Bob Pagliuco, a marine habitat resource specialist at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration in July.

Pictured: JC Boyle Dam, before and after.

“Based on what I’ve seen and what I know these fish can do, I think they will start occupying these habitats immediately. There won’t be any great numbers at first, but within several generations—10 to 15 years—new populations will be established.”

Ironically, a news release from the NOAA states that the simplification of the Klamath River by way of the dams actually made it harder for salmon and steelhead to survive and adapt to climate change.

“When you simplify the habitat as we did with the dams, salmon can’t express the full range of their life-history diversity,” said NOAA Research Fisheries Biologist Tommy Williams.

“The Klamath watershed is very prone to disturbance. The environment throughout the historical range of Pacific salmon and steelhead is very dynamic. We have fires, floods, earthquakes, you name it. These fish not only deal with it well, it’s required for their survival by allowing the expression of the full range of their diversity. It challenges them. Through this, they develop this capacity to deal with environmental changes.”

-via Good News Network, October 9, 2024