#it’s a kid singing about how desperate they are and the desperate teenage girl inside me feels seen | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

girlindelusionn · 2 years ago

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oh my god HELLO i just logged back into tumblr and i screamed when i saw the two chapters you posted 😭 THEY ARE SERIOUSLY everything i could’ve dreamt of and more holy shit u are now my fave person in the world. also yes dw i did mean lover by taylor PLS. u have seriously made me the happiest person on the planet and i will be reading all 10k+ words. ily never stop writing

HI LOVE IM SO GLAD YOU'RE LIKING THIS 😭 you're officially my fave person in the world too, ily and thank u for such sweet words!!

here's chapter three <3

i want them all, robin x you (part 3!)

"We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call"

part 2! part 4!

You leave the living room to go find more ice and smile like an idiot when you see her cleaning a couple of cups on the sink. Seeing her exist so naturally in your own house still made you unreasonably happy.

She was always beautiful, but tonight it was almost too much. Happiness did that for her. And, against all odds, she had been wrong all those times before. People, or a few of them, weren't that bad. Having friends was not a time bomb, a catastrofe waiting to happen, an eternal countdown. It was pretty cool. And it made her happy. So happy.

This year had been absolutely insane. It was exhausting to even think about it. But along the chaos, hatred and tragedy you two had grown closer to people you'd never in the world would’ve thought. I mean, fucking Steve Harrington was in your house right now! And you were okay with it! You were more than okay. You –and don't you ever tell him– kinda liked him..? Sophomore you is probably calling you a traitor in every language possible, how could you like that idiot?

Honestly, it had been just as surprising as it sounds. It’s not like you planned it.

But Robin and you desperately needed jobs during the summer –cause again, the running away thing– and the mall had recently opened so that was the most obvious choice. Besides, it meant spending all that time together without thinking excuses for your parents, and for two hormonal teenagers who had started dating just a couple months before, it was the best news in the world. Until you found out who was the third person that was gonna be working there. No joke, you almost quit on the spot. Not Steve! Literally anyone but Steve. And you knew Robin felt the same, even though she assured you pretty much every day that Tammy Thompson was not someone she thought about anymore.

But he was pretty chill now that he was out of Hawkins High. Which only proved your theory, school was a monster. He was great with kids, (he had a lot of kid friends, that was kinda weird) he knew how to handle customers (unless it was pretty girls) and he would always cover your shift if you needed to. He was also falling for your girlfriend, which wasn’t great but it was a bit amusing. Overall, he was a good guy.

But you liking Steve was only the beginning of the crazy things that happened during the summer. First there was the code, then the fucking elevator, then the russians (how could you forget the russians?) and then the magic kid and the giant monster.

So it was safe to say, summer had been wild.

Autumn had flown by after all that mess, and senior year had been good so far. Nobody tells you how exciting school can be when you have someone to secretly make out with in the bathroom. Your relationship was as good as it's ever been, keeping secrets was basically second nature for both of you. As sad as that might sound.

Good thing is, your mom and dad had decided to take a vacation for the holidays. Three. Entire. Weeks. Of an empty house and a possibility for you two of, inside these four walls, having a normal life. She had packed a bag and told her parents you were going to yet another break up and were in the urgent need of a “girls week”. Sometimes, like two percent of the time, being gay ruled.

You had spent these weeks cooking, reading, singing and wearing down every vinyl on your collection. Doing all those things you normally wouldn't. And it has been the best time of your life. Every time it got clearer and clearer that Robin was who you wanted to spend your life with. Even if that was something you would never confess to her right now. Even if legally that couldn’t even happen.

“You’re staring” she says. You just snort and hug her from behind. Struggling to get to her shoulder.

“Who gave you the right to be this tall, huh? Who do you think you are?” she laughs at your tease, pretending she can't hear what you're saying from so far above. With that she earns a light punch to her side.

“Ow!”

“You deserved it” you say with a smile that gets quickly attacked by her kiss. Surprised, you look at her with your eyebrows up. “What was that?”

“Oh, it's just something called kissing…” she jokes “I can give lessons anytime soon if you want. Ow!” another punch to the side.

“I mean– we have guests in the house”

“So what? They’re over there and it wouldn’t be so bad either if they found out, right?” your face shows confusion but you keep your smile. “Why are you looking at me that way? If you don’t want them to find out, I won’t tell them or do anything in front of them. At least not on purpose, but you know how hard it is for me to actually shut up! I mean the other day Steve heard me say goodbye to you over the phone and I had to tell him my grandma calls me babygirl and–- “

You kiss her again just to shut her up. A very recurrent situation in your relationship.

“I don’t care, Rob. But I thought you did…” you hug her a little tighter and you feel her relax in your arms.

“I mean, it’s not like I want the entire school to know about it… But maybe just Steve?”

“You wanna tell Steve?” you ask once again just to make sure she’s really okay with it.

“Yeah”

“Alright, then we’ll tell him.” you smile and she follows right after “We wait until Nancy and Jonathan are gone?” she nods and you let her continue with the dishes. The music sounds muffled from here, but you can hear laughter above it.

“So, just for the sake of the tradition…” you ask, sitting above the counter, next to her. “Where are you thinking of running away this year?”

She smiles to herself and thinks for a minute before answering, gaze never leaving the cups.

“Honestly… nowhere.”

You gasp, jokingly. “Who are you and what have you done to my girlfriend?”

She laughs a bit, but she’s serious when she says:

“What have you done to me? You made Hawkins a livable place!”

That thought, the fact that she didn’t care about where she was physically as long as she had you, made you melt with love. She was the sweetest person and you loved her so much it hurt. So, naturally, before leaving the kitchen with the ice in hand you have to steal one more kiss from her. You had planned a simple, quick kiss, but your girlfriend decided to grab your face and deepened it. You had cero (0) complaints, of course, but when you hear Jonathan’s steps in the hallway you barely have time to pull away.

“Guys? Steve just landed on the sacred stair and he might have to go back all the way to the start!” he explains as he enters the kitchen. You both hope he wont realize the faint traices of sexual tension left on the air. Or how you two are a liiitle closer than usual “Hurry up!”

You grab the ice and follow him out of the kitchen, not before shooting Robin a grin.

The other two were still in the living room playing some kind of game Dustin had invented. It made absolutely no sense, but Steve had promised to learn the rules and play with him. Robin had landed in some kind of pit so she had lost fifteen turns. Jonathan was a little ahead of you, but he had terrible luck with the dice. You were doing pretty good, but had drawn a curse card at the beginning of the game, which made it impossible for you to advance more than five steps at a time. And Nancy and Steve were currently fighting for the win. Nancy, who had landed on the “silence cave” and could not talk for the next two turns, was four steps behind him, but now Steve had landed on the “Sacred Stair”.

“So now if you get anything but a three you're doomed?” you ask, incredulously, as soon as you sit back on the table.

Nancy nods, Jonathan checks the handwritten manual for the fifth time, and you can’t help but laugh at Steve’s worried face.

“C’mon, Steve. You can do this.” he cheers himself up. You hear Robin scream “WAIT FOR ME” from the kitchen. A couple seconds later she's back at her spot next to you.

“Give me a three, a three, a three…” he throws the little dice a little too hard, it rolls and rolls and falls under the table. “NOBODY MOVE” All of you four find it hilarious how seriously he was taking this game.

“ITS A FIVE” informs your girlfriend with a smile on her face.

“NO WAY”

“YOU LOST!” joyfully screams Nancy, who was also taking this more seriously than she should.

“WHERE IS IT?”

“Now you have to go back to the book of secrets, babe” laughs her boyfriend.

“ITS A FUCKING FIVE. OH, C'MON!” he laments “After all the time that I spent trying to get the fives for the Philosopher Monster!”

And for a second everyone is happy –except for Steve, obviously– and for the first time in your life you are certain you have found your people.

The rest of the night practically flies by and when you all notice it’s ten thirty. Jonathan and Nancy had promised to be home by eleven, to celebrate with their families, so they say goodbye and thank you for the invitation. Nancy doesn’t lose the opportunity to make fun of Steve one more time before leaving.

“Let’s do this again sometime!” says Jonathan, kind as always.

“Yes! Can’t wait to beat you again, Steve!”

“Oh, shut up”

After a little more bickering the couple is gone and Steve stands by the door awkwardly. You know the problem, he didn’t have any family to spend the night with and he was also too embarrassed to tell you both, which was ridiculous.

“Well… I should get going too…”

“Steve, dingus, you can stay over '' clarifies Robin. His face lights up a bit, but he’s still a bit unsure.

“You’re sure?” he asks you, the owner of the house.

“Of course, Harrington.” You smile and he gives you a hug that catches you off guard. He even takes advantage of the height difference too and lifts you a little off the ground. You laugh and hit him on the back of the head, jokingly. “Put me down, idiot!” he does so and thanks you once more “Now, when you had the genius idea of knocking the board off the table–“

“Nancy’s fault!”

“… you also knocked the little carrots, I want them out of my floor by the time I’m done with dishes. Robin you’re in swapping duty, or the spilled soda it's gonna end up sticking to the floor”

“Yes, ma’am!” They both say. Posing as soldiers, with hands on their foreheads. You roll your eyes, and make your way to the kitchen.

After a while of tedious cleaning, —those damn carrots had flown everywhere— you take downstairs the couple of mattresses you kept for visitors and make a big bed in the middle of the living room. Steve’s early Christmas gift for Robin and you, a Queen record, was playing softly in the background and the clock on the wall marked fifteen minutes till midnight.

Steve’s in the bathroom but Robin and you are already in bed. She’s nervous, you can tell. She’s slightly trembling and fidgeting with her hands. It isn’t really the first time you both do this, but it’s as terrifying as the last time:

You two walk the distance between your math class and Mr Hauser’s classroom as you damn this fucking school for being so closed minded. All you wanna do right now is hold her shaking hand.

“We don't have to do this, you know?”

“But I want to.” She reminds you. You’re unsure “I really do. I'm just a bit nervous.”

“Are you sure this is gonna be fine? Maybe we could start with someone safer?” you offer when you face the door. Robin shakes her head no.

“Trust me, there’s no one safer than Mr Hauser.” you’re still not a hundred percent convinced, but she looks sure of her words and you would trust her with your life, so you knock on the door.

You both enter after you hear his “come in!”. He looks surprised to see you.

“Robin! Y/N! How nice to see you both” he greets.

“Hi” says Robin, who’s getting more and more nervous every second that passes.

“Hi, Mr Hauser.”

You occupy the first two seats as you chat about your winter break. Well, you and Mr Hauser, Robin is weirdly quiet because of the nerves. You try to help by holding her hand under the table.

“All the way to California?” the teacher is telling you about the winter break he spent visiting his family “That must have been nice"

“Yes! Great weather. And I even managed to find a copy of–”

“SO WE'RE DATING” says Robin out of the blue. You look at her astonished. “Y/N and I, we’re kinda– not kinda, we’re dating.” she explains. Her face is the same shade of red as her converse.

“Oh…” he says with a confused smile. You hold your breath, you know how much Mr Hauser means to her and not having his support would be devastating for Robin. “That’s great! I’m happy for you both"

You continue with the conversation, Robin actually participating this time. You even get to tell him all about your traveling plans. You also find out Mr Hauser was already aware of Operation Croissant, apparently Robin told him all about it, and he confesses he pretty much knew there was something going on between you two.

You’re having a really good time, but after a while you need to go. Today you had a geography test and you needed every second possible to study so you say goodbye to her and the teacher and make your way to the library. As soon as you leave Robin turns back to see Mr Hauser, who’s looking at her with a grin, waiting for her to talk.

“I know that you feel like I'm rushing into this, and it's probably a bad idea to make all these plans when we’re so young and delusional but—” she starts to ramble.

“Robin…"

“No, no, I know what you’re gonna say. ‘That’s just me being really in love for the first time’ but honestly it feels like i'm never gonna love anybody but her. Which I know sounds ridiculous cause we’re only seventeen and we have all our lives ahead of us an–”

“I was going to say that you look genuinely happy for the first time, Robin.” he explains with a small smile.

“Oh…” she breathes “I am. I really am.”

“Then there’s nothing more to say.”

So the whole telling Mr Hauser had gone well, and chances were telling Steve would go just as good. But it still felt awfully scary.

“STEVE, CAN YOU HURRY UP, DUDE?” Robin yells at him. She just wants to let it out.

“IM IN THE BATHROOM” he complains.

“AND WHAT’S TAKING YOU SO LON—?”

“WE DON’T WANT DETAILS. I REPEAT, WE DO NOT WANT DETAILS” you look at her with an ‘are you insane?’ look. Robin shrugs and you sight. “Rob, it’s gonna be okay, dummy. It’s just Steve.”

She looks at you and you know she’s really trying to believe you, but it's just not that simple.

“I know, I know. It 's just… too much, sometimes.” She shows her trembling hands and this time you do kiss her, taking advantage of the fact Steve’s still in the bathroom. Starting to realize this might be the last time hiding kisses. At least from him.

That sounded wonderful. So wonderful you kiss her even fondly. She accepts it, running her hand through your hair.

“WHAT?”

Oh, fuck.

You drift apart from your girlfriend, who is still too shocked to even speak. She has the same guilty smile as you do. Like two kids caught red handed.

“…WHEN? W— WHAT?”

You might have broken Steve.

“YOU TWO ARE…” he starts to guess.

“Dating, yeah.” You explain. But that doesn’t erase his frown and confused gaze.

“For how long?” He says after a few seconds of silence.

You turn to Robin with a knowing look. “…a while”

“FOR HOW LONG Y/LN?” He’s not mad, just surprised. How could he have missed this completely?

“Nine months.” you reply.

“WHAT? SO YOU WERE ALREADY DATING WHEN I MET YOU?”

“Technically–” finally speaks Robin “ …yes. But only for a few weeks.”

“Wait, and all that time I…”

“Wanted to bang my girlfriend?” You complete his sentence “Yes, that was funny. But I don’t blame you, though, look at her.”

“Oh, shut up” complains Robin, rolling her eyes at you. You respond by sticking your tongue out. She tries to hide her smile, but, as always, fails miserably.

You’re about to make fun of her yet again, but remember Steve’s still sitting in front of you. He’s wearing one of your giant t-shirts, those he's been trying to steal for the longest time, you make a mental note to make sure he actually gives it back before leaving tomorrow morning. He’s still processing, you think, but just to make sure Robin asks:

“Are you… Are you okay with it?” there’s worry in her voice and that makes him snap out of his thoughts.

“Of course!” he assures and you feel her breathe again. It physically hurts to see her that anxious. She didn’t deserve a single bad thing. Ever. “I mean it’s a lot. And I feel like an idiot for not noticing–”

“Oh, that’s old news, Steve.” Robin chuckles, he doesn't find it as funny.

“Well I was gonna talk about how you two are actually a match made in heaven and how I'm so happy for you guys, but whatever...”

“Dear God, you’re such a drama queen.”

“Come over here, you dingus.”

You three hug and when you drift apart Robin’s smile could light up the room. You have never seen her smiling so big. It takes you every bit of self control to not kiss her right there on the spot.

Then you remember. You can! You can kiss her right here right now! In front of someone!

So you do.

“Gross!” Jokes Steve. Earning not one but two punches, one in each shoulder.

#wlw #stranger things #robin buckley #robin buckley x you #dating robin buckley #robin buckley x female reader #lgbt #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #nancy and jonathan

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wizkiddx · 4 years ago

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I would for sure read a continuation of the birth photographer fic if you feel comfortable writing it/have time! Xx

a/n sorry I kinda combined these two together, I hope this is okay!! sorry ive taken so long too!! my requests are still open, just going a bit slowly :)

summary: literally just birth + harry

dad!tom x reader

warnings: childbirth, mentions of fainting, squint for suggestiveness too

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Your doing so good darling, just keep breathin’ like that for me, in-out-in-out”

That had pretty much been the soundtrack to your last 3 hours. And yes it was MORE annoying than it sounds. Of course, that’s also ignoring the insane amount of pain your uterus was putting you through - as it spasmed while the little bug in there was wriggling away. Giving birth was not easy but giving birth with a husband-turned-midwife wittering away in your ear? Un-fucking-bearable.

“Tom…. I love you but..” Everything had really been starting to ramp up in the last half an hour, you were a panting sweaty mess now. “Please… SHUT THE FUCK UP” Tom would’ve recoiled completely away from the bed because of your tone, if it wasn’t for the absolute death grip you had his right hand in. Instead, Tom settled for straightening straight up and staring helplessly and dejectedly across the room at his brother - who of course was trying to hold back laughter, knowing it would be very easy for you to switch your target to him.

Clearly it wasn’t a social call to the hospital, Harry was here under the premise of taking photos when the baby arrives for Tom; but really to stop his brother from having his own breakdown - as commissioned by you. Lets just say, however scared and mortified Harry was of this ‘event’ he was taking a lot of enjoyment from how his brother was acting currently.

“It’s okay sir, if you were pushing a watermelon out of hole that normally was the size of a whiteboard marker, I’m sure you’d be a bit tetchy too.” That lady was your favourite midwife and in a lull between the sets of contractions, you actually managed a laugh. Wide-eyed, Tom just nodded jerkily, murmuring some sort of agreement. It was at this point a flash of light reverberated around the whole room, causing you to breathlessly laugh, Harry’s face informing you the picture he just got of Tom was priceless.

The laughter didn’t last long though, the next contraction had you bearing down on the bed, face contorted in pain as you sucked desperately on the gas and air tube.

“Okay Y/n I think we might be getting there, let me call the senior midwifes in okay?” The midwife had your legs hiked apart, a blanket attempting to cover your modesty - but at this point she was basically sticking her face in your noon. Modesty was out the window.

“Already?” Tom was shocked to say the least, from all his reading and research he’d learnt that the average labour time was more like 5 hours. Lets just say, Tom never exceled in school, never much enjoyed reading - which made the hours of highlighting baby books and pregnancy leaflets all the more extraordinary.

“Babies don’t stick to the script sir.” You could tell she was proud of the pun there, because you know, Tom’s a moviestar. “Professional improvisers, the lot of them.”

The cream walls of the hospital room very quickly filled with more and more people - Harry staying like a fly on the wall, now nervously biting his nails as he watched an obscene amount of medical people all take their turn oggling his sister-in-law’s bits. This was a weird ass situation.

Almost immediately it was at the point the midwifes were telling you to push, which after 9 months of holding a baby in (as well as your ill functioning bladder) sounded like an absolute dream. But it was also absolutely terrifying and exciting and horrifying all wrapped in one. Naturally then, after nodding hesitantly at the midwife between your legs, you’d craned your neck across to tom .You might’ve just told him off, for trying to encourage you, but now? You needed his encouragement.

What met you though, was his face completely drained of colour, mouth hanging slightly open as he hadn’t moved - still staring intently at the midwife. She followed your gaze, only taking half a second to survey the situation before knowingly smiling.

“Can we get a bit of help for dad please?” Immediately one of the more junior looking midwives was directing (pushing) Tom into the chair next to the floor. Suddenly actually concerned, you looked with wide eyes to the lady between your legs, who you felt bad for not remembering her name. With a comforting squeeze of your ankle she reassured you he’d be right as rain after a few moments of having his head between his knees. Also sensing you needed your support, she arched up, beckoning over to Harry who had an equally bemused look on his face.

“No - I-um I’m not.” His squeaking protests were interrupted by a large scream on your part, as another contraction tore through your body. Helplessly Harry glanced between Tom, who was still hunched over on a chair with a nurse squatted infront of him; and you, writhing around on the mechanical bed. He didn’t hesitate then, in jumping right to your side, allowing you to start crushing all the bones in his hand too.

And then it was all happening, a blur of activity and screams. It didnt take long for Tom to pull himself together and then you were flanked on both sides by Holland boys - both giving cheesy encouraging words (which you would’ve again told them to shut the fuck up for, if you’d been able to), Tom also stroking the top of your head. He found it pretty impossible, watching the woman that he loved go through such immense pain - especially when he was technically half the cause. Well… actually more that that, it had been him who had been… well shall we say *needy* those nine months ago.

“Okay Y/n the heads crowning, I know you’re tired but we need a few more big pushes, can you do that for me?”

Merely 5 minutes later and the most beautiful sound in the world echoed through the 4 creams walls. You were absolutely spent, eyes closed as you panted, knowing tears were flooding down your face too. Immediately though, familiar hands cupped both sides of your face, a forehead resting on yours.

“You did it Y/n/n.” His eyes were glassy, watering and red and the way he scoffed a smile in disbelief had you mirroring him exactly.

“We did it.” Your voice was hoarse and scratchy from all the yells of pain but it didnt matter. The midwife calling you by the name ‘mum and dad’ got both of your attention, a title you’d no doubt start getting used to.

“Meet your beautiful baby girl.” Another choked sob escaped your throat, as this little roughly wrapped up pink alien looking thing was placed onto your chest. Both you and Tom just gazed at her, completely transfixed at the way she wriggled her head slightly, nuzzling into your chest. Tom gently hovered his palm against her little head, while you pressed down the blanket gently, just so you could see all her features.

Then a flash echoed around the otherwise silent room, making you all look up to Harry who was gritting his teeth in apology. “Do mum and dad want to smile for the camera?” The question was posed so hesitantly and quietly, really it wasn’t funny either. That didn’t stop you and Tom both pulling out the biggest grins and chuckling away, allowing Harry to capture the perfect moment. Being referred to as mum and dad - it was bloody comical.

“You gonna tell me her name now?” You looked from Harry to Tom, nodding in approval for him to spill the beans.

“Amber. She’s Amber.”

You’d squabbled for months before ending on Amber. It had been a long relentless process, Tom claiming that your baby might just have ended up as ‘as yet untitled’ which you and your hormonal state had stormed out at. It hadn’t taken much to forgive it though, Tom had long since worked out that Ben and Jerrys was the way to your heart.

The nurses took Amber back to do some tests, properly cleaning both you and her up and after that everything was weirdly calm. Harry had left to give the twothree of you a moment alone and Tom was about to do his turn of skin to skin.

“This really is it isn’t it?” He murmured, whilst carefully scooping Amber from your arms.

“Mhmmm… your stuck with two girls who’ll go psycho on you without a moments notice.” He seemed to accept it though, just nodding in response.

“And I still can’t bloody wait.” His eyes penetrating deep into you, had you blushing like a nervous teenage girl. “ ‘m still so proud of you, you grew this little human.”

“Your not allowed to call her little because you didnt have the ‘little’ thing rip your insides apart.”

“Hey! I’m upset about it too! Was like I had to watch my favourite pub being burnt down.” Of course, trust Tom to make a dirty joke at a time like this.

“Don’t kid yourself, you weren’t watching, too busy fainting.”

“I didn’t actually faint!” This time he protested a bit too loudly, causing Amber to mewl a little and bury her head into the crook of her Dads arm. “I think Ambers just told you to shut it too.”

“You annoy the hell out of…” Your grumbling was interrupted by an impressive, ear-splitting yawn. “ You annoy the hell out of me.”

“But you love me?” He sing-songed, now back to a hushed tone.

“I hope so, otherwise we’re in a bit of trouble.” He scoffed, but nodded his head, taking the hand that wasn’t cradling Amber to tuck some sweaty, knotted strands of hair behind your ear.

“I do owe Harry though, he was at least able to stay on his feet.”

“He was a better birthing partner than you too, much much less condescending and annoying.” You sniggered, making Tom pout once again, only wiping the look off his face when you yawned again, rubbing an your eye like a toddler would.

“If your done insulting me… get some rest love, I got you.” All you did was nod, with a small groan (because below your waist still hurt like a bitch) rolled over so you could fall asleep to sight of the two of them.

“Got you both, my two beautiful girls.”

hope you enjoyed, would love to hear any thoughts <3

taglist: @hollandfanficlove @hallecarey1

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fluff #Tom Holland blurb #dad!tom #tom holland imagine #harry holland

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forgiveness-in-the-misery · 4 years ago

Text

Toki’s Psychological State Through the Seasons

Toki is by far for me personally the most interesting member of Dethklok; I know to some degree he’s deemed as a potentially over hyped character by fans and even the show itself, but there’s countless reasons why people cling onto that character, and they’re good reasons. Even if said reasons just come down to “I think he’s neat.” that’s valid.

For me I am so fascinated with his character development, personality, and the varied chunks of background information we get about him throughout the series. A big part of this character is that when you look at him in season one compared to season four he is very different or at least he appears to be much different. Season one does establish that Toki does have a childish personality, his bedroom looks more like a room for a kid than one for a guy in his 20s. Season one establishes those basic facts about him that do heavily carry out through the show, but also increase as the show goes on.

Toki goes from immature but not overly immature to....a complete fucking wreck by the finale of season four (before Doomstar) and the reason for it is simple; it’s trauma.

Toki starts to act differently in season one after the Dethfamily episode; he spends practically that entire episode in a catatonic state, his parents always looming nearby like figures of danger and doom. After this we do get to him being bitter about being seen as immature and seen as the kid of the band (despite the fact he was barely 16 when he joined Dethklok) and when a charity informs him that a dying girl wants to meet him he turns into a complete prick. He finally comes out of that when he sees a video the kid made of herself singing a song about death and hatred, with that scene we see a small flashback of Toki’s childhood; him about the little girl’s age standing out in the snow staring up at his parents looking confused and a moment later he’s being smacked across the face.

We could already gather beforehand when we found out he came from a very devout religious sect outside of Lillehammer that his childhood was sketchy, plus how he locked up when around his parents, but seeing the flashback of him being hit as a little boy.....Answers the obvious question of “did they beat him?”

Season one is the least eventful of the seasons. Season two is when shit begins changing drastically.

Season two Toki receives a call to inform him that his father has cancer and is on his death bed, the family and the church wants him to return to Norway to see his father. He acts completely fine about this initially, the phone conversation and the way he announces his father’s terminal illness to the band is as if somebody just asked to borrow his car. When it gets close to time to actually go and when they are in Norway it’s different though; he becomes anxious and clearly uncomfortable, in Norway he stays in town mostly, stalling around places he went to as a kid and a teenager before he ran off to America.

He does handle his father’s dying well once he finally convinces himself to go inside his house and see him then follow through with his father’s dying request to carry him up to his old childhood home (which goes wrong because his friend’s are dicks.)

I am not going to go into personal detail at all and my situation was nothing like Toki’s (it’s incredibly rare to hear situations like that anymore), but Toki handling his father’s passing freakishly well kind of was a red flag for me, because I know from my own experiences that when you find out something complicated like a terminal illness or the death of your abusive parent theres’ a chance you may respond way too calmly to it, and then later down the line days or months or years later something will trigger a big reaction to it. Which is what happens.

After handling his dad’s death well we get the most iconic scene involving Toki at that point and honestly still the most iconic; he beats a man to death with his bare hands. The thing that triggers this is a hallucinated image of a rabbit, an animal he associates both with his father and his childhood, the image of it triggers him to fly into an insanely feral blind rage taking it out on a guy who had been annoying him all night. Toki has always throughout the entire series shown signs of being a tad violent, but never THAT bad. Sure he shot down a plane and had accidentally caused a death or twenty (the whole band is, it’s part of the sacrifices to the Gods deal) but we had never seen him before or after that moment beat somebody to death. That is new and it came from a place of pent up....shit. Shit he never worked through and even after that continued to not work through.

Because after this we lead into him worsening further; he begins drinking. A lot. The band consist of dudes with addiction issues, mainly alcohol, but Toki never seemed to drink quite as much as them until after he went feral on that straight edge guy.

Toki deals with his childhood trauma in several ways:

He drinks. A lot.

He focuses on fantasy and daydreams to keep himself from focusing on his past.

He spends a lot of time with Dr. Rockso who takes advantage of his kindness often, he also spends gross amounts of money bailing his clown buddy out of jail. Constantly.

He occasionally gets violent, but never to the point of manslaughter.

Seasons three and four are when we get fully introduced to Toki acting like a kid more than a guy in his 20s and it makes sense. Toki didn’t have a childhood; we learn that his parents essentially made him into a slave at a young age having him do pointless “chores” like sweeping snow during a storm, carrying stacks of wood much too heavy for a small child, etc. and when he failed to work quickly enough or failed a task they punished him. They punished him by locking him in a shed, they punished him by chaining him up like an animal, they punished him by smacking him, by beating him with a bull whip, and worst of all (who knew it could get worse) they would force him to stay for long periods of times in a deep hole dug into the ground. A hole where he hid a clown doll made of twigs and straw, the only friend he had as a little kid.

From all that we can gather through the show he didn’t exactly have a social life of any kind until his teens, the older he became the braver I think he became, and that was responded to with worse violence from his parents. I think the statement in season one about a vision of father killing son wasn’t totally off, I think if Toki had never run away from Norway that his father would have murdered him. I think his parents knew somehow that he isn’t entirely human, they knew he was something else, and I do think his parents had plans to kill him before he could become “too powerful”.

That aside though.....Once we the audience as well as his friends find out far more details about his horrifying childhood Toki changes. A lot. He’d already been immature and a tad bit off but he regresses further after that, more prone to depression and outbursts, clinginess, and a need to feel like he’s loved by pretty much anybody.

This is a dude who is about my age that came to the horrid realization that any person or animal he loves will die because that’s his “gift”, the gift of death. He works his ass off to repress and rationalize a brutally nightmarish childhood, and the guys he’s in a band with who he loves and sees as his family....are dicks. We know that when he joined Dethklok before they got famous that they were all close, but when they began becoming popular and became immensely wealthy the others became more focused on self indulgence and power, less focused on this still a child who desperately just wanted a family.

I think a key factor with Toki being the way he is comes down to the band’s “no caring” rule. A rule that only existed because of Magnus. Toki is the baby in a group of people who have known each other for a good while, people who came to an agreement to not give a shit about each other for a reason they never explained to him because it’s too painful for them to think about. I think he always tried to live by that rule of not caring, he tried to bury all the shit wrong with himself the best that he could but he was never good at it. It’s also clear they all care about each other and they definitely care about Toki; Nathan and Skwisgaar often being the most protective of him.

In season four aka the season where the show becomes less of a comedy and more of a drama with stunning animation. Toki is immensely more immature and awkward, he’s clingy with the band especially where Skwisgaar is regarded. Near the end of season four he’s completely fucked up; he splits his time between Rockso (his comfort object) and Magnus (a father figure to replace Nathan) in the dinner episode which has so much going on in it. So much. Toki is at his lowest point in the series; he shows up late, drunk as fucking hell, shirtless, and covered in bruises and cuts. Rockso is with him and when Charles tries to tell him Rockso shouldn’t be there Toki goes into a full fucking anxiety attack until Charles tells him it’s fine to have the clown there. Toki’s heavily dependent on Rockso by that point; his found family is quickly falling to shit. God knows what kind of shit Magnus might have been feeding him about the band at that point.

Toki’s entire thing from day one/the pilot of the series is that he just wants a family. When he feels like he doesn’t belong in the one that he found and was taken in by he searches for family in other places, when he can’t handle the memories of his childhood he spirals hard. I understand that the guys didn’t really know how to handle it after they heard about Toki’s childhood so I can’t fault them completely for just.....shoving him off onto Rockso after that, but I still think they should have tried to be there for him more so, more directly. I think an outlet that isn’t a drug addled clown might have helped him in some way, I think if when he’d been a teenager if one of them had found out about his upbringing and just pointed out “that isn’t okay, at all.” then things might have panned out differently.

Mental regression isn’t uncommon when it comes down to victims of trauma caused by extreme abuse. Especially considering his trauma all occurred basically from the get go; he was a child slave, the closest I would guess he ever got to having a childhood when he was a kid was seeing other kids childhoods. Going into town and seeing kids playing, sneaking into birthday parties just to be around other kids his age, etc. and he definitely was childish as a teenager, but I think he tried to bury that side of himself when his bandmates started teasing him or pointing out how unmetal it all is.....But then a douche bag journalist brought his parents to America, a little girl died, his abusive father died horribly (as he should) in front of him, he beat a man to death (allegedly), etc.

He spent a lot of years away from all the trauma and the death and the bull shit then suddenly it started piling on top of him again and his escapism was fantasy, clinging onto a junkie clown, partaking in childish hobbies.....because why not?

Each member of the band suffered some messed up shit when they were kids and it shows in different ways, this is Toki’s way of dealing with it....or not. I’m not entirely sure what his psychological state would be post Doomstar; the way he bounces back from immense trauma makes me think that he would be okay given some time and that’s a safe assumption to make, especially now that his bandmates/family will be there for him the way he needs them to be.

I want to tag @theidiotwiththepaintedface who hopefully will enjoy this painfully long deep dive into a character’s psychology lol.

#metalocalypse #dethklok #toki wartooth #character analysis #tw: child abuse

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binunus · 4 years ago

Text

“we’re playing!” | yoon sanha (m)

a/n alright! now before anyone comes for my ass, yes I get it sanha’s sweet and the baby of the group™, but he’s also a grown ass adult now (no matter how baby he acts), he’s been wanting to be viewed as mature and sexy since he turned legal. and I’m also his age so no I don’t feel any guilt or embarrassment writing smut about him. also you can’t tell me you did not think of at least one hot steamy makeout session with sanha after bad idea promotions, like you just can’t tell me that. so if you disagree or feel disgusted reading sanha smut, then please by all means just skip this post, you are not obligated to read it—that’s all I’m saying. but anyways, enjoy!

requested by the lovely @astrolight25! hugs and kithes cutie <3

{How about sanha again (I'm sorry) when the reader and sanha's kid's are sleeping, and the reader and sanha are "playing" and the reader is scared to wake up the kids.}

pairing: husband!sanha x fem wife!reader

genre: fluff, smut, lil crack

word count: 1.4k _______________________________________

Your POV

“Sanha!” You hissed, trying your best not to let a moan slip through your lips. Damn your husband.

You thought it would just be a cute wholesome movie night. For some reason, your youngest son was very fussy today, tiring both you and Sanha out very early on in the day—okay but clearly not tired enough because Sanha was currently preoccupied with lazily kissing your neck.

“C’mon honey, we haven’t been able to do this since TaeOh started walking, I miss you...and the kids are both asleep.” He whispered licking the shell of your ear. You shivered at his ministrations, your head subconsciously leaning towards the side to give him more room to work with. Sanha smirked as he looped his arms around your waist, pulling you onto his lap as he started to nibble and suck bruises into your skin.

Your teeth dug harshly into your bottom lip, nearly at enough force to draw blood. You refused to make a sound, especially since your son and daughter were soundly sleeping a mere room away.

“Sanha if you’re—ah—gonna keep going, can we at least do it in the bedroom?” You whined quietly, your hands gripping tightly onto his arms. He smiled devilishy, biting your shoulder—which almost made you yelp—and swooped you up in his arms, practically running into your shared bedroom after he turned off the television.

You giggled at his eagerness as he dropped you onto the bed, Sanha quickly turning around to (quietly) shut and lock the door. Propping yourself up by your elbows, you watched as he stripped himself of his shirt, coming to hover over your body and catching you in a kiss.

In retrospect, Sanha was right, it has been a while since the two of you got intimate like this. But what can you say? that’s what having kids does to people. There was a sense of urgency to him, his hands desperately running up and down your torso to feel any and all of your skin. You moaned into his mouth, feeling your body heat up as the slick started to build at your core.

“Baby, fuck.” You cursed as his hand slipped between your bodies to cup your center. Hastily, the two of you removed the rest of your clothing, a thought coming to mind as you did so, causing you to laugh.

“Why’re you laughing baby?” Sanha asked with a little grin, fingers teasing at your entrance as you looked up at him. “Nothing, just the way we got naked, it’s like we’re horny teenagers again—oh shit.”

He chuckled at your reaction, thrusting two fingers into your cunt with no warning, his cock straining against his stomach at the way you clenched on his fingers. You gasped as you circled your arms around Sanha’s neck, your lips fiercely fighting each other for dominance. “Baby please, I can’t do foreplay right now.”

“I need to make sure you’re prepped honey,” He said, the sweet tone in his voice a vast contrast to the blown out look in his pupils. You whined in disagreement, lips trailing down his jaw to nip at his neck, “I can take it baby, I need you in me now.”

Usually, Sanha would tease you until you were literally in tears for him, but today? He wanted to be inside you as soon as possible. With a kiss to your forehead, he removed his fingers. You frowned at the sudden empty feeling, but it was quickly replaced by a sharp intake of breath as he pushed his member in your core, bottoming out in one go.

Sanha groaned deeply, eyes shut in pleasure as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You were so tight and it was taking everything in him to not hammer into you like a rabbit. God, he filled you up so well, the little burn that you felt as your walls stretched only adding to the heat in your stomach.

“Sanha, move please.”

He cursed at your request, hands gripping tightly on your waist as he started to thrust in and out of your cunt. You clasped a hand over your mouth, finding it increasingly harder to not make any loud sounds especially as Sanha picked up his pace. You met eyes with your husband, your pussy clenching at how absolutely sinful he looked above you.

“Don’t keep it in baby,” He panted, eyes burning into yours. Your heart rate picked up as a smirk played on his lips, sweat just at the top of his brow, and his forehead exposed as he brushed his hair back. It amazed you how he could be so sexy like this without even trying. “I wanna hear your cute little moans.”

“Baby, the kids—“

“—are asleep.” He said with a particular hard thrust, your face immediately contorting in pleasure as a moan ripped through your throat. “That’s right, baby.”

“Fuck you.” You said embarrassed, lightly hitting his arm. Sanha only chuckled, leaning in for a kiss as he continued fucking you. All too quickly, the tension in your stomach started to build. Sanha’s lips went back to your neck, sucking and biting as his pace turned relentless. The sounds escaped you without restrain, your moans increasing in pitch as he drove you two closer to your highs.

Your orgasm flooded you as soon as Sanha slipped his fingers down to play with your clit, the added stimulation driving you over the edge. You screamed throwing your head back, body thrashing in pleasure as Sanha fucked you through your high. The male groaned at the vice grip of your walls, only taking a few more thrusts before he came, blowing his load in your cunt.

You moaned, your body twitching in sensitivity with every pulse of his cock. With a hazy smile, you brought him in for a kiss, the pace now slow and soft. “I love you.”

“I love you too, y/n.” He said between kisses, his voice barely a whisper, like it was a secret just for you two. Sanha smiled as he pulled away, the look on his face nothing short of love and adoration. Your bodies stayed glued together until he grew soft, you nudging him to get off once you felt it. “Mm, a little longer baby.”

You chuckled, nodding as he gently lowered his chest onto yours, arms wrapping around your torso as he hugged you tightly. You hummed, one hand stroking his hair as the other rubbed his back. Nothing could make you feel as close and connected to your husband as this moment.

“Mommy!! Daddy!! What are you doing??”

The two of you froze at your daughter’s voice, little knocks coming from the locked door. Sanha pouted as you pushed him off, but a smirk immediately crawled on his face as his cum started to leak down your cunt. You glared as he pressed a kiss to your neck, lightly spanking your ass as he responded to your daughter.

“We’re playing!” He said, sickly sweet. “Why are you up, princess?”

“I wanna play!” You could practically see the pout on her face even through the door, you wobbling to the bathroom to clean yourself up. Sanha quickly dressed himself, making sure you were in the bathroom before opening the door, his arms outstretched wide as your daughter immediately ran into them. He peppered her little face in kisses, swooping the girl up in his arms, “Daddy, I wanna play too. Where’s Mommy?”

“We can play tomorrow, princess.” He said fixing her hair, “Right now, it’s bed time.”

You walked out soon after, a smile on your face as you saw Sanha carrying your daughter. “Mommy!”

“Can’t sleep, princess?” You asked kissing her crown. She shook her head with a little whine, “I heard you and Daddy playing from my room and woke up.”

Your cheeks blushed hotly, you can’t believe your daughter heard you. With a little chuckle, you cupped her cheeks, “We’re sorry for waking you, princess. But it’s time for you to go back to bed now, okay?”

She nodded, leaning on Sanha’s shoulder as the three of you went to your daughter’s bedroom. After ten minutes of Sanha singing her back to slumber, you went back to your room, hitting your husband’s arm as he let out amused giggles. “I told you they would hear us!”

“Well at least I locked the door, didn’t I?” He grinned hugging your waist from behind. “C’mon baby, you loved tonight.”

You huffed a little before grumbling in agreement, walking the two of you towards the bathroom. “I’m not going to sleep with you with dried sex sweat on my skin.”

“I know,” He grinned, hands already gripping the ends of your shirt. “Try to be a little quieter this time, baby. We wouldn’t want the kids to wake up again.” _____________________________________________

1-30-21

#sanha #yoon sanha #astro #sanha smut #astro smut #sanha au #sanha fluff #sanha scenarios #astro fluff #astro au #astro scenarios #request

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 2 years ago

Text

Dead Inside.

This is sort of like a Music Video of the song Death Inside by Younger Hunger, which in my mind, describes Remus pretty well.

And all of this is part of my Fanfic: Yes, I am changing in Ao3 by potterhead_fic. I uploaded this chapter today.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Remus as a kid aspired to be like those male heroes in movies and books. Like Hercules. Disney Hercules. Remus at the age of six, couldn’t pinpoint why he would watch that movie over and over again. But there he was, way before he knew he was trans, way before he called himself Remus. Way before he learned how to read or write. All Remus knew was that he wanted to be just like Hercules. The confidence, the muscles, the heroism, the deep voice, the way he was handsome even though he was a cartoon, his masculinity.

Six-year-old Remus began to sing to the screen, as Hercules talked and grinned during his scenes.

Hey pretty baby with the sun in your eye

You make feel like I'm up in the sky

I wanna tell you, wanna make you mine

Ooo-oh-oh heeyeeyeye

As Remus grew older, he got immersed in the real stories from ancient greece. Mythology, Greek gods, Greek demigod heroes. Remus would consume those books fast. And when he finished with one, he craved another. And there was a feeling there. Something strange. Something weird. He read about female characters, what he was supposed to be when he grew up. And even though they were powerful and cool, Remus didn’t want that. He wanted to grow up into a man. He knew it was not possible. But he wished, he wished, he wished.

So Remus in his desperation did things to be like those male characters, like cut his hair in the loo, on his own when he was ten years old. And so he sang the next part of the lyrics as he did so, staring at his girl reflection in the mirror.

I'm all talk with a thorn in my side

Remus hated the Hello Kitty/Minnie t-shirts that his father brought to him. Instead, he sang as he grabbed one of his father’s large sweaters which smelled like male cologne, and Remus put it on.

I've got a real big heart

That I'm willing to hide

Remus also changed his name. He corrected his parents when they called him Rosie, or used the pronouns she/her with him. And Remus sang as he stared at his parents discussing his mental state and his identity, discussing if he had become insane or not.

You ask me what I want from life

I said to make a lot of money

And feel dead inside

But the problems began when Remus hit puberty. Remus' breasts weren't that big, but Remus used bandages to hide them. Sometimes he binded them too hard. He hated his body. He felt trapped in a body that wasn't meant for him. Like a freak. Remus got his first period at fourteen. He had cried watching the blood in the sheets. The boys didn't understand. Remus hid the sheets and ran to the Hospital Wing.

(Make a lot of money and feel dead inside)

Around the same time that Remus was going into puberty, he was also full of hormones. Teenage hormones. And it became a nightmare when Remus had his first crush with his best friend, Sirius. It was so paradoxical how much Remus wanted to do things with Sirius at the age of sixteen, but he didn’t want to at the same time. Because Remus hated his body. Stupid dysphoria. Stupid dysphoria. Stupid dysphoria.

Remus began singing as he observed his shirtless cis friends having a pillow fight, wishing to be like them, wishing to have their cis male bodies.

Hey pretty baby, can you feel that heat?

You got me twitching to the edge of my seat

I take your hand, lead you out to the street

Ooo-oh-oh heeyeeyeye

Seventeen year old Remus had been through testosterone, deepening his voice, and making his features look more masculine but it wasn’t enough. Because the freaking dysphoria was still there.

July: Grant's hands traveled inside Remus' shirt, touching his stomach and sending shivers down his spine. Remus didn't want Grant to touch his binder. And then Remus remembered how his body looked. And how probably Grant would freak out. Because he had shagged boys. Real boys. With flat chests and cocks. Remus was not like that. But Remus stopped him as it traveled up, and he sang again.

To tell you that

Your golden hair and pale blue eyelids

September: Remus liked the sensation of kissing Emmeline. Remus liked the way her warm body was moving on top of him. Bloody hormones. Remus would’ve shagged Emmeline if he was a cis boy, if he didn’t have dysphoria, or issues with his body. But he had those things. So when Emmeline tried to get his sweater and shirt off, he panicked. And when Emmeline tried to reach down his trousers, he stopped her, singing again.

Make me feel like I might go wild

October: Remus found himself doing the same thing he used to do with Emmeline. Remus avoided taking off his clothes at all costs. Yes, the difference was that Sirius knew Remus was trans. But that didn’t mean Remus felt ashamed of his feminine body. So it was Sirius who usually received the pleasure. As Remus stopped Sirius this time, Sirius snorted, as if thinking he was adorable. Sirius’ head lay on Remus’ chest, and Remus hugged him as he sang again.

Cheetah print makes me a liar

So I tell you I just like you for your smile

The boobs shaped box. A stupid gift from one of Peter’s mum’s boyfriends. But it was worth something. The Marauders had collaborated to get Remus money for his top surgery, basically to chop off his chest, his titties… James sold things he didn’t use, expensive presents he didn’t like or he already had. Peter sold his pastries and cookies, and they were a success. And Sirius sold his drawings, his gorgeous drawings for presents on Valentine’s day or Christmas. That was the little collaboration, actually a big collaboration that Remus’ friends did for him.

I’m all talk with a thorn in my side

I've got a real big heart

That I'm willing to hide

You ask me what I want from life

I said to make a lot of money

And feel dead inside

But the money wasn’t enough. And Remus had to wait to be eighteen, because there was no way in hell that Lyall would sign a permission form to help Remus get it sooner. Remus shouted these lyrics to Lyall, right before he escaped, cried in the street and met Grant.

You ask me what I want from life

I said to make a lot of money

And feel dead inside

Now in the present, Remus is sad and dysphoric. He is without Sirius, even though he loves him. He is without Grant, even though he misses him. Remus stares into his reflection. He is shirtless but with his binder on. In the reflection you can clearly see how skinny Remus is. Remus has scars on his back, and on his ribs. Remus sings the next part of the song as he turns and doesn’t like what he sees. A single tear runs down Remus’ cheek.

I'm all talk with a thorn in my side

I've got a real big heart

That I'm willing to hide

You ask me what do I think of life?

I said baby not much, I wanna die

Remus breaks down into tears as the music continues. Remus yells silently, hugging himself and crumbling to the floor. Dysphoria is a bitch. Depression is a bitch. Everything that Remus had lived takes him to this moment. He feels that Sirius doesn’t want him because he is embarrassed of him. He feels like Snape has some sort of power over him. Remus feels like everyone is judging him again, like he used to think back when he was fourteen and his dysphoria was worse. Remus doesn’t have the Marauders. Remus doesn’t have the Marauders. And he had been having nightmares again.

I'm all talk with a thorn in my side

I've got a real big heart

That I’m willing to hide

Remus starts messing the room out of fury, tossing everything he finds to the ground, breaking things, yelling at the top of his lungs. He is still shirtless, he is still shaking, he is still crying.

You ask me what I want from life

I said to make a lot of money

And feel dead inside

As the song ends, we realize that Remus didn’t destroy the room. It was all in this imagination. He is actually in his bed, hugging his knees, dressed, but sad. And that’s when he sings the last part of the song.

Make a lot of money and feel dead inside

#marauders era #maraudersera #marauders #marauders headcanon #remus lupin #sirius black #trans remus lupin #wolfstar #grant chapman #dead inside #younger hunger #Spotify

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ithebookhoarder · 4 years ago

Note

Could I get something for valentines day to do with the Shelby gang? I really don't mind what or who. I just feel like I need a little love for the day...

Valentines Day Head-Canons for the Shelby Family

A/N: Of course you can, anon! Hope you have a great day, whether you’re celebrating or not. It’s just a day, really, so I hope this cheers you up ;) Sending so much love x

Masterlist:

Arthur:

This man would be nervous as hell that he’d mess up valentines day with you. He’s not exactly known for being the romantic of the family, nor does he have the sophistication of his younger siblings. In fact, he’s sometimes surprised you’re even with him at all.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t try, though. Oh no, this man is going all out for the day and nothing is too much for you. He’ll have asked everyone, and I mean everyone, for advice about what to do to make the day special.

He’s not a many of many words so he lets his actions do the talking for him, giving you a massive bouquet of flowers as he comes to collect you for the evening.

“Arthur, they’re beautiful. You really shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble for me. I mean, you even got orchids - my favourites. How did you know?”

“I remember you told me before, eh? When we were at that place down in London. The one with the fancy window displays.”

“I can’t believe you remembered.”

But that’s Arthur. He’s utterly head over heels for you, which is probably why he turns bright red as you kiss him on the doorstep before hurrying back inside to put them in some water.

He’d also make sure to open every door for you the entire night, refusing to let you even lift so much as a finger.

In fact, he even pulls your chair out for you in the restaurant he’s taking you to, glaring at the waiter who was going to do it, in a clear sign to back away if he wants to escape with his life.

“Arthur. I saw that. Behave.”

“I’m on my best behaviour, love. Promise.”

“Oh really? What a shame, as I had kind of hoped you wouldn’t be, considering that I’m wearing your present underneath this dress.”

Arthur almost combusts there and then.

Screw dinner - he wants to devour you and only you. Maybe that’s why he practically drags you out of the door at the end of the night, making you laugh as you hurry after him, the two of you fumbling with each other like horny teenagers.

Needless to say, you spend the rest of the night wrapped in a tangle of limbs, lost in an haze of pleasure as you gift one another with your bodies.

John:

Now, considering his kids and the fact they are more than a handful, he knows just how important time spent with just the two of you is. That would be his first and biggest gift, getting one of the family to agree to watch the hell spawn long enough for you two to spend some time alone together.

It’s just you and him for 24 hours of uninterrupted bliss, with no crying children or screaming babies to think about.

True, it would be weird at first to have the house so quiet, but that’s exactly what you need for you and John to just talk to one another about anything and everything you’ve missed over the past few weeks. After all, he’d probably have been so busy with work he feels like he’s hardly seen you recently.

He’s also remarkably in-tune with you and knows exactly how to spoil you rotten.

“You do so much for me and the kids, it’s the least I can do, right? You deserve the world, but I guess I’ll have to do, eh?”

Who knew John Shelby was such a softie?

He’d have the day mapped out down to the finest detail: Breakfast in bed? check. A hot bath with wine and candles? Check. That new dress you had your eye on when you last went into town? Check. Making love for hours on every surface of the house? Triple check.

He knows how lucky he is to have you and would spend all day making sure you knew.

“At this rate, we’ll be having another little one to be bribe Polly to watch next year.”

“John Shelby! I swear to god I am not having another baby-“

“So you want me to put my clothes back on and not fuck you again?”

You wisely say nothing and kiss him instead.

“As I thought.”

Tommy:

Considering how busy he normally is, the only gift you could ever want from him was that of time. Time away from the stresses of the company or his family and their never ending messes.

It’s why you’re eager to subtly remind him about the date every chance you get in the weeks preceding it.

Little do you know, he’s perfectly aware of the day. In fact, he has plans of his own cooked up for the both of you… you just didn’t need to know that yet.

It makes the surprise all the more satisfying as he wakes you early the morning of, peppering you with kisses and encouraging you to get dressed.

“I thought people usually tried to get people undressed on Valentines day?”

“Patience, love. It’s worth it, I promise.”

You laugh and trust him, unable to deny him anything when he looks genuinely happy for once. That in itself is a gift, as is the chance to spend the day riding with him around the estate you called home.

Tommy is happiest on horse back, and you grin as you eye him clambering on his horse out front.

You’re quick to follow, not surprised to see he’d had your horse readied too. He really had thought this out, down to the route you take.

“This way, there are no phone calls or fucking distractions,” he explains, relieved at the utter delight in your eyes. “Not unless one of the staff want to grab a horse and come find us. Good luck to them.”

“They’d need it, especially if they’re stupid enough to risk me shooting them for disturbing us. They’d be idiots.”

Tommy laughs.

Eventually, he’d stop you both, just on the edge of the woods, revealing the next surprise as he pulls out a blanket and basket (prepared with Frances’s help, of course).

“A picnic, Tommy?”

“I told you it was a surprise.”

It’s the best surprise as you both sit there, drinking and laughing as the sky turns dark.

That’s when he lights a fire for you both, letting you huddle close by the flames, eyes gazing at the stars above you.

You listen to him telling you all about the constellations and the stories he learned as a child. The sound of his voice is heavenly and you could easily listen to him all night.

So much so, you’re quick to wish the night would never end, letting you two stay like this, wrapped peacefully in each other’s arms forever.

Finn:

This literal angel is sweet as hell. Like, you better be prepared for the hand made card he’ll have made you… with Polly’s help, of course. He isn’t a hundred percent sure his spelling would have been right otherwise, but for you he’s willing to make the effort to try and write it for you. After all, you’ve more than likely been trying to help him learn to read and write since you started seeing one another.

“Aunt Pol… is heart spelt with two t’s or one?”

“One, Finn.”

“And does angel have a j in it?”

“No, Finn.”

Everyone else thought it was adorable and proof that he truly does love you. They’ve never seen him work so hard on anything in his life.

Your own card is much simpler, because you wanted to make sure he could read it without too much difficulty. You also may or may not have got a bit carried away with drawing hearts and other sketches to fill it instead of trying to use long and complicated words about how much you loved him.

However, neither one of you seem to care. You’re too happy with the cards you receive to care about your own possible mistakes.

You’re also too busy admiring how much of an effort each of you made with your outfits for your date. Sure, it was just drinks and dancing with some of the other teenagers in Small Heath (basically Isiah and his girl) but you’d both gone full out for the occasion.

“Is that suit new?”

“Maybe… John helped me pick it out. Why? Does it look stupid?”

“No, Finn Shelby. You look incredibly handsome,” you beam, toying with his lapels before linking his hand with yours. “I’ll be the luckiest girl there tonight.”

“And I’ll be the luckiest man.”

Oh yeah, you two are reals saps, just as most young lovers are. You’re all nervous glances, laughs and touches as you two dance the night away.

It would also be the night Finn kisses you for the first night, summoning the courage to do it as he drops you off back at your house, just a little after curfew.

It’s worth the risk and as you kiss him back he swears he’s flying the rest of the way home.

Micheal:

Micheal has had his plans in place for weeks, making sure every little detail would be perfect for the two of you. He’s honestly looking forward to it, enough to welcome his mother’s advice as she throws suggestions and tips at him the week before.

“Women like to feel special, Micheal. What about getting her a necklace? Or some chocolates? Fancy ones from France or something.”

“Mum, thanks, but I’ve got it covered. Promise.”

“Are you sure?”

Micheal laughs and tries not to be offended at her obvious doubt. Then again, he’s not always had a track record of being the most romantic or thoughtful with women. Still, he really cares about you and he’s determined not to mess this up.

It’s why he’s chosen the perfect place for you two to spend the evening together: your place.

He’s determined to spend the time just the two of you, and what better way to impress you than cooking dinner for you?

With the bottle of champagne he brought and your favourite records playing in the background, you’re quickly at ease, grinning as you watch him effortlessly chop, dice and season the dish he’s chosen.

How is peeling a potato so sexy when he does it?

It’s honestly impressive, but also because he’s putting so much effort into it which is a nice surprise. As is the way he dances around the kitchen with you whenever there’s a pause in the recipe or a particularly good song comes on.

You’re surprised at his soft singing voice as he holds you, humming along. It’s rare he allows himself to be seen in such a way, relaxed with no one to judge him for being soft or a little off key. In front of the other Shelbys he’s normally desperate to impress them, trying to be tough and nonchalant.

However, you know deep down he’s still the country boy you fell in love with when he first arrived in the city.

By the time you’ve finished dinner, the candles have almost burned out and you know where the evening is headed as you both start to scurry off to your bedroom.

Ada:

Ada is probably the most relaxed of all the Shelby bunch when it comes to special occasions. This is Ada we’re talking about. She’s also probably the most sane of the bunch, so she knows how to act like a normal person.

She doesn’t need anything big or fancy as a gift or some elaborate plan to make her fall head over heels.

A day in the park, with Karl holding both your hands as you walk to the duck pond, is enough to make her look at you with utter adoration in her eyes. She loves how well you both get on, becoming a little family of you own.

It’s why it’s no surprise you all have dinner together, with Karl helping to serve you as your two favourite people spoil you rotten. You normally eat together most days, even if Karl doesn’t normally wear a suit or call you ‘madame’ every time he passes you something like a mini waiter.

Ada smirks at the sight, informing you it’s all Karl’s idea - as is the card he thrusts upon you.

“I made the card myself!”

“You did? Wow, Karl. Look how amazing it is. I love the glitter on the heart.”

“I knew you would. Mum didn’t think so but I won.”

The look Ada gives you makes you want to laugh until you cry as you clearly sense the frustration she must have suffered in the pursuit of Karl’s artistry. It also explains why you’ve been finding glitter everywhere all week.

“Well, I love it. Thank you - both.”

You press kisses to both of their cheeks, grinning as Ada purred something about giving you her card later once Karl’s in bed. You’re eager to return the favour, impatient to give her your own card and gift.

It’s a framed photo of you all, taken one day when you’d all been at the local fair.

The sight of it is enough to make Ada watery eyed as she gives you yours, watching as you unwrap it and gasp in delight.

The book is the next in a series you’d recently started and fallen in love with. However, you were pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to be released yet.

“What can I say? Perks of having a librarian girlfriend with exclusive access to advanced copies we’re supposed to be holding on to until next month. I borrowed one and I’m sure they won’t notice.”

“Ada Shelby. You stole a book for me?”

“Borrowed. Not stole.”

You don’t care, too overwhelmed to do anything other than kiss her passionately.

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kur0m1bab3 · 4 years ago

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This is so freaking old....if you like it though lmk if I should continue it and make it a fic<3

Cw: Tooth rotting disgustingly sweet fluff, iwa is ooc in this, readers race isn’t specified but reader has brown eyes and curly hair:), fem pronouns (she/her)

The habituated essence of perspiration was abounded in the air. Water droplets trickled down the shaft of pine needles and settled in whimsical droplets on the fronds of moss, that concealed the umber color of the once visible tree trunk, now shrouded in succulent vegetation.

The smell of sap encased the hazy senses of the teenage boy, who dared venture into the illustrious temperate biome. The soles of his bare feet kissed the spongey, damp forest floor with calculated steps. His feet slowly becoming one with The terra, as each step he took, saturated the ground even more. Dew from the morning of ,hitting his face softly, creating a misty allusion about the young males face.

It was around dusk, from what Iwaizumi had presumed, his awareness of time being mitigated away, with each stroke of the hour. Crickets and other lively arachnids could be heard, singing their oh so gracious thanks to mother nature, in a low humming harmony.

Iwaizumi was on a mission, you could tell by his movements. Hushed, rapid and calculated. His eyes were focused ahead of him, darting from side to side occasionally, to scope out the oh so familiar forest he became accustomed with over the span of several months.

Iwaizumi was determined to reach the pond by dusk, even if it was the last thing he did. He had left any means of communication back home, he knew that by now his older brother was freaking out, and had probably already issued a missing persons report on the teenager.

But frankly he could care less. He needed to see her, no he had to see her. It had been days since he had last bestowed his eyes upon the girl he was so hopelessly, desperately in love with.

Looking back Iwaizumi chuckled a bit, noting how when he met her, his life did a complete 360.

Being the new kid was always a pain in the ass, on top of being a military brat under the guardianship of a somewhat tin foil hat sergeant, he had the pleasure of calling an older brother. Moving from place to place wasn't ideal, Iwaizumi’s social skills being shot from the beginning unfortunately enough for him.

He was hoping, praying, that his last year of high school would be merely the same as the previous years. Going unnoticed, only to move half way through the year like always.

But of course, for Iwaizumi Hajime things could never go as planned. Here Hajime was, begrudgingly making his way up the neglected moss stone steps located a few feet behind the school. It was routine for the teen, eat lunch up where there was an abandoned gazebo, maybe even skip the rest of the school day, and ponder on what his life was.

His olive eyes traced the crevasses littering the tattered down stone, his movements rooted in a deep muscle memory. Iwaizumi was a scarily good observer, Always watching his surroundings, waiting for a next move. Which is why Hajime jumped in complete and utter surprise as he lifted his head, eyes coming in contact with an unfamiliar pair of pretty brown ones.

A stiffening silence sauntered over the damp air as the two unfamiliar strangers stared at each other, each one as surprised as the other. The girl sitting in front of him had a mass of curls framing her face, a stark contrast to the pin straight black hair he’d grown so accustomed too.

Her skin glistened almost majestically against the slivers of light peeking from the heavily decorated leaves of the willow tree. Her cheeks were puffed up with food, chopsticks comically sticking from her mouth as little grains of rice littered her cheeks. If the situation wasn’t so dense he would’ve laughed at the girls messily adorable nature.

Her glasses drooped down onto her nose, eyes peeking under the rims of her glasses widened in surprise as she gazed curiously at Hajime.

No one made a move to move, just curious, nervous stares being exchanged. Iwaizumi watched with curiosity as the girl looked between him and her hello kitty bento, a look of ponder washing over her face. Without missing a beat the girl placed her chopsticks on her bento, leaning over rummaging through her bag, which Hajime guessed matched her bento.

A look of relief washed over her face as she held out a neatly wrapped onigiri with both hands stretched out towards Hajime.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow in amusement, stepping closer to the girl as she gestured towards the standing male.

“It’s my last one...I was going to save it for later but my mom would probably be mad if she found out I spoiled my dinner for a rice ball..” the girl mumbled out.

Her voice was soft, if you weren’t listening well, it would’ve blended in with the symphony of nature. A small grin stretched over Iwaizumis features as he slowly made his way over to the girl. Her eyes were trained on her lap, her body fidgeting nervously as she waited for Hajime to take the offering.

Iwaizumi huffed an amused breath through his nose as he gently took the warm rice ball from her hands.

“Thanks” he answered shortly, taking his seat directly in front of the girl. She lifted her gaze, a small surprised smile spreading over her face as she bit the inside of her cheek.

“You....you’re Iwaizumi right? We have the same chemistry class together...I normally see you eat lunch out here by yourself, I..I just thought maybe today I could keep you company...” the girl said sweetly. Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow, slowly scanning the mystery girls face.

A panic look washed over her as she defensively waved her hands, eyes widening dramatically.

“I-I’m so sorry! That was p-probably really weird of me to say and I-“

“Calm down” Iwaizumi snickered, barking out a laugh at the girls flustered nature.

“What’s your name?” He asked smoothly, hands working on tearing the plastic film away from the rice ball as he awaited an answer.

The girl pushed her glasses up onto her nose, fingers fiddling together nervously as she cleared her throat.

“Y/n”

#anime x black!reader #haikyuu!! x black reader #black reader #haikyuu!! x poc! reader #capsules #poki.poki #r0m1.writes #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x y/n #iwaizumi headcanons #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi imagine #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi fluff #hq x reader #haikyu iwaizumi

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wiypt-writes · 4 years ago

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Riding High

Ch1:Jodhpurs And Jeans

Chapter Summary: After a passing comment from his well-meaning neighbour, land-lady and friend, Frank decides that before he enrols her into school Mary needs to learn some social skills and pick up a hobby to help her interact with kids her own age.

Mary decides she wants to learn how to ride…

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: So yeah, this one’s been buzzing in my head for AGES now. As you all know, I’m a Brit so I’m REALLY sorry if too much British horsey lingo slips into this…ASK away if you don’t understand. As means of an explanation in the UK we have 3 main types of stables. We have Riding Schools (which focus solely on providing riding lessons), Livery Yards (which are places where owners board their horses) and Equestrian Centres (which do both). After a bit of research it seems that EC also translates across the pond and means the same thing so…just bear with me on this and run with it!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

August 2017

“I’m holding you solely responsible for this.” Frank shot Roberta a glare as Mary bounced over to the truck, her blonde hair swinging slightly as she skipped.

“All I said was that it might be useful to have her interact with kids her own age before you throw her into a school, which for the record, I still think is a dumbass idea Frank.” “Input noted and duly ignored…” Frank rolled his eyes “She needs to go to school. Have some kind of variant on a normal childhood.”

Roberta took a deep breath and simply shrugged “On your head be it.”

“Come on Frank!” Mary shouted, standing up on the ledge of the truck “we’re gonna be late!”

“It’s 20 minutes tops to Pinellas Park…” Frank looked at her “We got half an hour, chill out Stack”

“My name’s Mary not Short Stack…” she sing songed back.

“Don’t I know it…” Frank said, looking at her before he turned back to Roberta “I’ll see you later.”

“Hmmm” she nodded, and with that he rolled his eyes again and headed to the truck.

“You know you’re not actually gonna get to ride anything today right?” he asked, turning to his niece.

“No, but I’m still gonna see the ponies.” she said, smiling. “Why can’t we bring Fred?”

“Because a horse might step on him.” Frank shrugged, before he paused. “Actually, shall we take him?” Mary narrowed her eyes at him “That’s mean.” He chuckled, ruffled her hair and started up the truck. **** “Ok, now soften your outside hand…” Fliss called out across the paddock, as the woman riding the tall, black warmblood circled her “Yeah, you feel that. He’s taking the contact now, not leaning against your hand. So when you feel that softening, that’s when you need to push with your inside leg…and if is he isn’t listening a soft tap up with the stick…” She watched again from behind her Oakley wraparounds, smiling as the horse extended nicely down the long side of the school.

“Yeah, there you go!” she shouted encouragingly, “Now bring him round again and this time at the corner, pop him into canter…” She took a quick glance at her watch. She was running slightly behind, but what else was new? She would never leave a lesson, regardless, until her client had achieved something, even if it was what they dubbed a small victory. End on a high was her motto, and this was no different. Ever since Lucy had brought Captain out of his stable, Fliss could see the horse was in one of his awkward moods so she’d had to switch out her plan a little. It had worked and he’d settled after about 15 minutes of being an obstinate shit and he was working quite nicely.

“Good!” She shouted, pacing slightly “Now let’s see if we can extend this a little…” Lucy sat up tall, pushed through her legs and the horse bounded down the side. Fliss grinned, less than 6 months ago Lucy hadn’t even been able to keep the horse in a trot, now here she was producing an extended canter. Moments like this made her job so worthwhile…

“Ok, bring him back down…” she said, “And into trot…and walk…”

Fliss headed over to her client and smiled as she walked alongside her “That was really good Luce…you happy?” “I’m over the moon!” The teenager grinned “I can’t believe it…he went so well!”

“Yeah because you rode him well.” Fliss smiled “You know, I seriously think you should consider a Dressage Competition.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, I do. I know you don’t have a horse of your own but you can borrow Cap if you want…have a think about it.” “I will, thanks Fliss.”

Fliss smiled, gave the horse a pat and headed back to the gate.

“Joanne?” she called, and one of her grooms appeared. “Can you just supervise Lucy cooling him off. I’ve got someone bringing their daughter in at 11 am that should be here any time soon.”

“Sure.” Joanne nodded “Oh, they back barn has been mucked out but I’ve not had chance to scrub the water buckets out.” “It’s ok, you can do it after lunch” Fliss nodded. “the automatics are getting installed in a month or so which should make it a little easier.”

She patted Joanne on the shoulder and made her way into the office. Reaching for a file she dug out a Registration Form and a Liability Waiver and set them on the desk before she took a quick glance in the mirror. Satisfied that her auburn hair was tamed and there was no hay stick in it she nodded to herself and walked back on the yard, just in time to see a tall, well build dark haired man desperately trying to control a blonde haired girl who was looking around in glee and pointing.

“Hi…” she walked over, momentarily stuck by how damned good looking this guy was. He was dressed simply in a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt which perfectly accentuated his tone upper body. His chiselled jawline which was covered in a short, stubbled beard, soft spikey dark hair, and he flashed her a smile that made the corners of his aviator covered eyes crinkle. A smile that made her clear her throat. “I’m Fliss, you must be Mr Adler.”

Frank looked at the woman in front of him, glad that his glasses hid the fact he was blatantly eyeing her up and down. Dressed in a pair of long riding boots, tight navy blue jodhpurs with a white belt around the top, and a tight pink polo shirt he could see every curve she possessed. But it was the smile she flashed him that made him feel like some kind of teenage school kid again. “Frank, please.” “Nice to meet you Frank.” Fliss smiled, noting how deep his voice sounded, it was much more gravelly than on the phone and there was a Boston twang to his accent. She shook his hand, his palm and fingertips slightly calloused against her skin, and then turned to Mary “And what can I call you Miss?” “Mary.” the little girl infomed her, looking up “Are all these horses yours?”

Fliss chuckled. “No not all of them. Eight belong to me. Two are my personal ones, then I have 6 that work in the riding school and the other six are boarders.” “Oh.” Mary pondered, looking around. “So which one can I ride?” “Mary…” Frank chastised her softly as he looked down at her, before glancing back at Fliss “Sorry, she’s excited.” Fliss laughed and shook her head “It’s fine, I love to see it.”

She turned to Mary and then in an exaggerated whisper so that Frank could here said “I’ll let you into a secret, I always put the new kids on Monty because he’s awesome and looks after everyone and he especially likes girls. He’s a ladies man. You wanna meet him?” Mary nodded eagerly and Fliss looked up at Frank, seeking his permission. He nodded and gestured with his head and she straightened up before leading Mary across the yard to the barn on the opposite side.

Frank stayed where he was for a moment, watching her ass as she walked before he mentally slapped himself and followed.

Fliss led them both into the airy barn, pushing up her sunglasses and down to 2 of the smaller stables at the far end. She stopped at one that contained a small, grey pony who gave a little nicker and stuck his head over the door.

“Monty, meet Mary.” she said with a smile as Mary gently reached up to stroke the pony’s soft nose.

“He’s really pretty.” Mary nodded, appraisingly.

“Yeah he’s awesome.” Fliss smiled, “And he’s a good boy too.” “Can I go in the stable?” Mary asked.

“Erm… if your dad says it’s ok?” Fliss looked at Frank who was tucking his sunglasses down the front of his shirt.

“I’m not her dad.” Frank shook his head “I’m her uncle.” “Oh, sorry.” Fliss frowned “I just assumed.”

“I get it a lot.” he waved her apology away “But I am her legal guardian so…”

Fliss nodded, studying him for a moment. There was clearly a bit more to that story but it wasn’t her business to pry.

“Can I?” Mary looked at him and he nodded.

“Ok so, Monty is really good and nothing scares him but with all horses you should always be quiet and not jump or shout.” Fliss instructed and Frank had to smile as Mary nodded seriously. He hadn’t seen her this engrossed in anything other than books for a long time. Maybe Roberta had been right.

Fliss unbolted the stable door and walked in, leading Mary in after her. She showed her where he liked to be scratched and Mary giggled as she rubbed at the spot on the pony’s withers and he began to tilt his head to the side, lips moving against Fliss’s arm as he nuzzled into her.

“What’s he doing?” Mary asked.

“It’s called grooming.” Fliss explained “So he is mimicking what you’re doing to him by doing it to me, see? It’s how they show affection in the wild. Sometimes they can get a bit carried away and they nip but they don’t mean to be nasty or bite.”

She looked over to Frank, keeping one eye on the small girl who was engrossed in petting Monty and looked at him “So, are you just after her learning to ride then or…” Frank nodded “It’s a long story but, she needs a hobby and this was the only thing that seemed to get her excited. Of course it would be the one that will milk me dry.” he raised his voice a little.

“Spend less money on beer when you go out tonight” she shot back, and Fliss gave a loud bark of a laugh as Frank, shook his head.

“See what I gotta put up with?” he snorted.

“You should talk to my dad about it.” She grinned. “I bled him dry due to horses as a kid, especially when I was up and down the UK competing!” “I was gonna say your accent isn’t local.” He said, smiling.

“Neither is yours.” she shot back “Boston, am I right?” He cocked his head, momentarily surprised. He didn’t think his accent was that strong considering.

“Yeah.” he nodded, “But I aint lived there in a while.” “I lived in Concorde” she explained, noticing his puzzled glance

“Huh, no kidding.” he smiled “Cambridge.” “Nice city.” Fliss smiled “I loved it.”

“What made you end up here?”

Fliss hesitated for a while. “Erm..” “Sorry, you don’t need to explain, I was just a little curious.” “No, it’s fine, just a long and complicated story.” Fliss scratched her temple “The abridged version is my marriage broke down and my mum and dad retired out here so I joined them.” She was avoiding his eyes slightly. Frank was smart enough to realise there was slightly more to it than that but he was tactful enough not to press. Besides, it was really none of his business.

“How about you? What you running from?” “What makes you think I’m running from anything?” he looked at her.

“Aren’t we all?” she looked at him, her deep brown eyes locked onto his.

He hesitated for a moment and then shrugged “Again, a long and complicated story but I wanted to give Mary a life away from hassle. And there was a lot of that in Boston.” He held her gaze and she simply nodded, before turning back to Mary.

“Ok Mary, how about we head into the office, get some forms signed and we can see about booking you in for your first lesson?” Frank watched as Fliss explained the importance of the kick-bolt on the bottom of the stable and showed her how to lock it before they three of them headed back onto the yard.

“Fliss, sorry to interrupt but do you want Cap and Bolt turned out?” a young girl with blonde hair approached them.

“Yeah, they’re not working today.” Fliss said, “But take them one at a time. Bolt’s taking to being a bit bargey. If he starts wrap the lead-rope round his nose.” “Will do.” “Thanks Jo.” she smiled, and the continued.

“What’s bargey?” Mary asked.

“Pushy.” Frank looked at her “Bossy.” “Like you?” Frank shot her a look and saw Fliss smiling to herself as she overheard.

“Or it could mean pain in the ass like you.” he shrugged. “Rude.” Mary shot back as Fliss opened the door to the office. Frank leaned over to hold it open.

“Thanks.” she looked at him smiling. He stepped in after Mary and they both stood, looking around taking it all in.

There was a large photo on the wall to the left, of someone, he presumed Fliss, on a horse jumping an obscenely high fence. On the wall at the back was a number of shelves, one containing files and the others a few more framed photos, one taken outside the gates to the yard of Fliss and a few others, he assumed her staff, and the other contained a number of trophies and a…

“Woah!” Mary said, scooting over “Is that yours?” “Sure is.” Fliss beamed, reaching up to retrieve the box frame. She led it flat on the desk and Mary scrambled up onto the chair to take a closer look.

The frame was split into two. On the right hand side was a photo of Fliss dressed in competition gear, navy jacket, red piping, white jodhs and a navy hat. She had a smile on her face that was literally ear to ear and round her neck sat the gold medal which was displayed in the left of the frame.

“London 2012…” Mary read the small plaque at the bottom “Frank, look…” “I can see.” he nodded, surprise evident in his tone. He looked at the woman “You were in the Olympics?” “Yeah.” she smiled “Only one though. Trained for years to get there…”

“Why only one?” Mary looked at her.

“Mary.” Frank groaned “Stop being nosey.” “It’s ok.” Fliss chuckled “A few months later at the World Championships later that year I had a nasty accident. I damaged my back and it took me nearly six months to recover. Sadly I lost my place on the team.” “Oh, that’s sad.” Mary looked at her.

“It’s a dog eat dog world kid.” Fliss shrugged “Not all bad though, I got into the training side of things which was great. Just my professional career didn’t work out.” There was a moments pause and Fliss replaced the photo and turned to Frank “Can I get you anything to drink?” “No, I’m good thanks.” he smiled.

“Ok, so…” Fliss said, “Mary I’m gonna need my seat back sweetie.” Mary obligingly jumped back down and Fliss took her vacated place, gesturing to the chair by the desk. Frank sat in it and Mary immediately jumped into his lap, her bare legs brushing slightly as she swung them to and fro.

“I have a few forms that you need to fill in and sign.” she said, apologetically “Legal stuff, contact details, waivers, that kind of thing. Safety is paramount at Sandybrook but, accidents to happen. Horse riding can be a dangerous sport…falls happen… as I know only too well.” Frank smiled and nodded.

“But I can give you those to take home, you can bring them with you when you come back.” Fliss reached into her desk drawer. She pulled out a glossy leaflet and opened it. “Our price list is here. I’m not a huge outfit, I don’t have more than 3 kids on a lesson at a time. Mainly because I don’t have the horses but I prefer to focus on the students, not the profit. I try to keep overheads down as much as I can to keep the costs low…”

She bit her lip, she hated this part of the job, the sales patter as her dad called it. “So it really depends on what you want to do as to how expensive it is. Group lessons are $20 for forty five minutes and individual lessons are $30 for thirty. I do always insist on an individual lesson first, but that’s discounted to $20 for the first one.” Frank nodded, it wasn’t cheap but they’d manage. He’d already explained to Mary that she wouldn’t be able to do it every week, but he could certainly stretch to once a fortnight.

“That’s reasonable.” he said after a pause.

Fliss smiled “I’ve only been open a year or so now, but I’m planning on starting up a few Own a Pony days where the kids can come down and learn how to care for the horses as well as just ride. But that’s all in the planning stages.” “Well you have a good set up.” he said, and she beamed back.

“Thank you, a lot of graft went into setting it up. My mom and dad’s retirement didn’t start out quite as quiet as they had planned!”

“I can imagine.”

“Ok,so…the real expensive outlay is gonna come at the start.” she said, turning to Mary “You’ll need some boots and a hat kiddo.” Mary grinned up at Frank.

“I do have hats I can loan for a few lessons but it is better if they have their own.” she looked at Frank. “It’s the one thing I don’t recommend getting second hand. But boots and jodhpurs etcetera you can pick up on e-bay and the like.” Frank nodded “And the hat?”

“There’s a great store not far from here…hang on…” she dug in her drawer again and produced a flier. “Here… the kid stuff is pretty reasonable to be fair, you’re probably looking at about $30 for a decent hat but they’ll help you out. If you take my brochure in you’ll get a 20% discount too.”

Mary took the flier from her and began examining it.

“That’s really it.” Fliss said, as she completed her mental check list “So all that’s left is to either book you in or you can call me…” “Please Frank!” Mary looked at him “Can we book?” Frank nodded “If you want.” “I do…” “Ok…what availability do you have?” Fliss opened the laptop and entered the diary and looked for a free spot.” “Does Wednesday at one suit?” she offered “I know once school starts you’ll probably want a weekend or evening but. whilst it’s the holidays does that work?”

Frank nodded “Yeah that’s fine. I can jiggle work around” Fliss tapped on the keyboard and smiled “All booked. If you want to leave me your number I send a text update out the night before just as a reminder.” Frank smiled, and gave out her number which she stored in the diary slot and then clicked saved “All done…guess I’ll see you Wednesday.” “Thanks.” he smiled “And thanks for showing us around.” “Not a problem.” she shook her head “Always important the clients get the tour of the place, to make sure they like it.” “Its awesome.” Mary looked up “Can we go here on the way home.” Frank sighed and looked at Fliss raising an eyebrow. She laughed.

“Yeah, get used to it. Once you get that horse smell on your hands it’s kind of an addiction.” “Frank hates animals.” Mary shrugged.

“I don’t hate animals.” Frank shook his head.

“You hate Fred.” “No, I don’t”

“You said before we should bring him so a horse steps on him.” Frank inwardly groaned as Fliss gave a chuckle.

“Fred is my cat.” Mary explained.

“Good name.” Fliss said “I have a few yard cats hanging around, they keep the mice at bay. And that reminds me, I haven’t seen Thor in a while…”

“Thor?” Mary looked at her

“Yeah, my dog…” Fliss stood up and opened the office door, giving a sharp whistle. “He never goes far.” As if on cue a large german shepherd came lolling down the yard to greet them. Frank eyed the dog, it was huge. Mary, right on cue jumped down off his lap.

“Can I stroke him?” “Go right ahead.” Fliss said, she looked at Frank and spotting his face she smiled “He’s a softie, looks the part though.” “Well I wouldn’t mess put it that way.” Frank snorted, standing up.

“Is he named after the Avenger?” Mary looked up “I love those films.”

“Sure is, he used to have a brother called Loki too but, well he died.”

Thor gave Mary a lick causing her to giggle before he flopped onto his side raising his paw.

“He wants a belly rub.” Fliss smiled, and Mary dropped to her knees to give the dog a tickle. His tail began to wag furiously on the floor and Mary laughed.

Frank watched the girl, smiling. He loved seeing her like this. She was so grown up and serious half the time, he yearned to see her acting like a normal seven year old. He was reticent to drag her away for that reason but he had work later that afternoon, a boat that needed finishing by Monday afternoon was taking him slightly longer than he had anticipated.

“Alright short stack, we gotta move…” “Do we hafta?” “Sorry kiddo.” Mary made a face.

“Do you wanna go to the store or not?” “Ok.” she said, jumping up and wiping dusting off her knees.

Fliss walked them to the truck which was parked in the car park and her eyes flew over to her horse wagon, a small 3.5 tonne box. Frank noticed her looking before she turned back to him

“Yours?”

“Yeah, I did have a bigger one but, well I don’t use it often enough now to warrant it. Maybe at some point I’ll get back into competing…never say never hey?” He smiled.

“Ok, so I’ll see you Wednesday.” she said To Frank’s utter surprise, Mary walked over to the woman and wrapped her arms around her, giving her waist as squeeze, her head pressing into Fliss’s stomach. Fliss bent over to give the girl a quick hug and smiled.

“It was nice to meet you both.” Fliss released Mary and gently ruffled her hair “I can’t wait to see you ride.” Mary headed over to the passenger side of the truck and stood on the sill so she could yank open the door. Fliss turned to Frank and looked at him, frowning slightly.

“Sorry, was that too much? I didn’t mean-” “Oh,God,no.” Frank stuttered, hastily shaking his head. “No, it’s just…well she’s never usually that affectionate with strangers. Not that you’re a stranger I suppose, not anymore but…” he shrugged.

“I’m flattered then.” Fliss said, her pretty face cracking into a smile which Frank couldn’t help but return. There was a moment of silence where he simply looked at her before he started suddenly.

“I should…” he gestured to the truck with his keys.

“Yeah, sorry. Have a good day Mr Adler…” “Frank…” “Frank.” she corrected herself with another gorgeous smile “I’ll see you Wednesday.” With a smile of his own and a nod he walked to the truck and Fliss turned and headed back to the yard.

He climbed in and turned to Mary who was looking at him, smirking in a smug way that was well beyond her years.

“What?” he demanded.

“You like her.” Mary snorted.

“She’s a nice girl, I mean woman…lady…”

Mary didn’t say a word, simply sat back as Frank reached around for her belt before doing his own and setting the truck into reverse. Sometimes she was far too observant for her own good. *****

“If she gives you any trouble just tie her up on the porch.” Frank said as Mary settled on the couch in Roberta’s trailer. Roberta snorted and Mary glared at him.

“The only one who gives me trouble around here is you Frank Adler.” Roberta shot back. “Now scoot, Mary’s gotta tell me all about this pretty girl at the stables she says you’re sweet on.” “Jesus…” Frank groaned “I’m not sweet on her, she was just nice.”

“He googled her.” Mary said.

“You googled her” Roberta intoned.

“I was curious ok?” Frank sighed “And you asked me to!” “She’s an Olympic Gold medallist.” Mary chanted, draping herself over the arm of the sofa, head hanging, hair brushing the floor “At London 2012 but then she had an accident in the World Championships later that year and she broke two vertebrae…she didn’t compete again. And she was married to a guy called John Stazaker, he was on the US team but they’re divorced now. He’s in prison…but Frank didn’t tell me why.” “Because it’s none of your business, and you don’t mention it to her.” Frank said sternly, cutting her off.

Roberta looked at him curiously “But you’re not interested in her,at all.” “Like I said, curious.” he shrugged “Especially if she’s gonna be teaching Mary.”

“Mmmhmmm.” Roberta dropped her hands to her hips “Whatever you say honey…” Frank sighed and then looked at Mary. “Be good.” “I will, see you in the morning…”

He nodded and then headed out. It was a pleasant evening, the heat of the day had died down to an acceptable level and the ten minute walk down to the small strip of bars wasn’t as sticky as normal. It passed fairly quickly, he was lost in thought about the woman he had met before. It had made for surprising reading, a child star on the circuit the accident had cruelly robbed her of a future in the sport five years ago, and from the sounds of it her ass-hat ex-husband had stolen three years of her life too. Still, as he had told Mary, it was none of their business.

He yanked the door open to Fergs and headed over to the bar. Ordering his usual he perched on a stool and pulled over one of the papers, flicking it open. Taking a pull of the beer he was handed, he let out a sigh. Friday nights were always his time, his one night of the week where he wasn’t Frank with the Dead Sister and the child genius niece to bring up. He was just plain old Frank Adler, perpetual bachelor that might or might not get lucky, depending on how the night went.

Half an hour or so later he was another beer deep and completely lost in his reading. So much so he was barely aware of the body besides him as it slid into the space next to him at the bar. That was until they spoke.

“So how much did she sting you for at the store?”

Frank grinned at Fliss “Just short of a hundred. New hat, boots and a pair of jodhpurs.” Fliss giggled “Make sure she wears the boots in, they’re a killer for the first few days!” “I’ll bear it in mind.” he smiled “So, you hear alone or…” “Oh, no. It’s my Mum’s birthday so there’s a few of us out.” she said, glancing over her shoulder. Frank followed her eyes and settled on a table full of women who were all laughing. One looked quite similar to Fliss, same face shape and nose, who he assumed to be her mother. “If I’m honest it’s a bit boring considering they’re all over fifty but…” Frank laughed “Well I was gonna offer to buy you a drink but…” She laughed again “Thanks but, there’s a kitty going…” with that she turned to the bar tender. “Hiya, can I get 4 bud lights, a gin and tonic and a vodka soda please?” The bar tender nodded and headed off.

“Mary hasn’t shut up about Monty all afternoon.” Frank said and Fliss smiled.

“Like I said, once they get the bug they’re bitten.” “It’ll be good for her to have a hobby.” Frank repeated his earlier sentiment “She doesn’t get much interaction with kids her age.”

“Oh, what about School?” Fliss asked. Frank hesitated and took a drink from his bottle. Fliss let out a silent groan “Sorry, that’s really none of my business.” “No, it’s fine.” Frank shook his head, swallowing his beer. “She’s err, home schooled at the moment. My neighbour thought a hobby might be a good way for her to kinda do that before she goes to school.”

Fliss smiled “Well she’s not wrong. The kids I teach are great, I don’t stand for any crap, she’ll be welcomed with open arms.”

“Glad to hear it.” Frank smiled “Mary can be a litte…well, I suppose, odd is the right word. She’s old before her age.”

“Oh I know all about that.” Fliss smiled. “I spent most of my childhood training. Didn’t get chance to do much normal kid stuff. I was that focussed on my dream of gold medals…” “And you achieved it.” Frank nodded.

“Yeah, wish it had lasted longer you know, but what can you do.” she shrugged. “Hey, you never know, Mary might find a sudden hidden talent that catapults her into stardom…” Frank stiffened slightly and it didn’t go unnoticed by Fliss. She hesitated for a moment before Frank shook his head and smiled “Maybe, although that would really gonna fuck my bank balance…”

Fliss chuckled, eyeing him slightly. The man was a total mystery. At that the Bar Tender returned with a tray of drinks and she turned to pay him, waving away the change.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you Wednesday.” she smiled “Bye Frank.” “Yeah, have a good evening.” he smiled and she turned and walked away. Frank watched her go, the tight jeans she was wearing accentuated her ass and her legs, helped by the white heels she was wearing. The loose white cami top rode up slightly as she bent over to deposit the tray and when the woman he assumed to be her mother caught his eye and gave a knowing smirk he hastily turned around.

“Another beer please pal.” he said, waving his empty bottle

****

“Who’s that?” Verity leaned over to Fliss as she settled in the seat next to her.

“Oh, that’s the guy I was telling you about.” she shrugged “the one who brought his niece up to the Centre this morning.” “I know you said he was good looking but…”

“Shut up Mum.” Fliss said, flushing slightly

“You’re old enough to be his mother.” Jane, one of the other women said and the table laughed.

“I wasn’t looking for me…” Fliss rolled her eyes “Seriously?” Verity laughed and placed her arm round her daughter, giving her a squeeze. “I’m just teasing Lissy, its just nice to see you talking to someone, that’s all.” Fliss smiled and grabbed her beer, taking a drink.

“Who the fuck was that?” John said, pointing across the packed bar to the man that Fliss had just smiled at.

“No one…” Fliss protested “Just a guy from work, that’s all.” “Right…” John said, the nerve in his jaw twitching. Fliss swallowed nervously and gently touched his arm.

“Honestly, he works at the stables. I was just being polite.”

“He’s eye fucking you.” “No, he’s not…” Fliss rolled her eyes and immediately realised what he had done when John gripped her chin painfully between his thumb and forefinger.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me.” he practically snarled.

“I’m sorry…” Fliss said, the tears springing forth “John you’re hurting me…” He let go and she dropped her head, turning back to the bar. She picked up her drink and took a long pull from the bottle, trying to compose herself. Her hand was shaking, she’d made him angry.

And she knew what that meant…

“Hey…” her mother’s voice shook her out of the memory and she looked up at her. “Oh Liss…”

“I’m ok…” she said, taking a breath.

Her mother looked at her again, and Fliss knew she was busted. “I was just…having a flash back that’s all.”

“He’s not here.” Verity dropped her voice “That fucker is where he belongs, behind bars and he won’t be bothering you again. Me and your dad promised you that…and we meant it.”

“I know, honestly I’m fine…” Fliss assured her mum who leaned over and gave her temple a soft kiss.

Fliss smiled back and shooting one last glance at Frank, who has his back to the table as he continued his reading, she turned to the women and threw herself into the conversation.

**** Chapter 2

#riding high #frank adler #frank adler x ofc #frank adler x original female character #gifted fan fic #gifted

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crashingmeteorz · 4 years ago

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jinjetsongko headcanons

in other words i love the idea of the jinxjetxsongxzuko brotp and want it to be real, desperately (based off of @azenkii’s awesome post)

first and foremost, jet never spots iroh firebending his tea. he simply does not see it. this prevents a whole host of other disasters.

jet visits zuko c o n s t a n t l y. he’s desperately trying to start up a ba sing se chapter of the freedom fighters, which ticks off longshot and smellerbee, who wanted a new life.

jet stays friends with longshot and smellerbee by pretending he’s cool with that, but by night he’s meeting up with zuko, sharing conspiracy theories about the dai li and ideas on how to break into the upper ring undetected. zuko flat-out rejects the ideas at first but he starts itching for something, anything to do, so he goes along with it.

jin thinks they’re both cute but is also pretty sure they’re in love with each other (they’re really not sure, tbh. jet is into zuko but in the way that everyone is - zuko’s hot, guys. zuko’s still figuring out how to be a normal teenager and all this attention is weird. either way, it’s something they need to figure out and jin absolutely does not want to get in the middle of it.)

zuko seems like the more stable one between the two of them, though, so jin asks him out. jet hypes him up the night of, so right before he meets jin zuko’s just bombarded with proverbs from his uncle and a lot of inappropriate advice from jet. the date goes pretty much the same since zuko chooses to ignore both of them.

jet absolutely loses it on zuko when he finds out that he actually managed to kiss the girl and then just ran away. jet believes this reflects poorly on him, and he begs jin to give zuko another chance.

jin can read the room, though, and, frankly, does not care to get in the middle of their homoerotic tension. after all, she’s pretty sure zuko cut the date short because he’s not ready for a relationship, and she’s basically right.

it should also be mentioned that at this point, jin’s figured out zuko’s a fire bender, and she kind of assumes his uncle is, too, and even though she doesn’t give a shit since they’re clearly refugees, she can tell there’s some weird backstory going on there and she is NOT going to be the fix-it girlfriend, no way.

so she tells jet she’ll hang out with them as friends.

“okay,” jet says easily, sliding into the booth across from her. “friend, do you ever want...i don’t know, more than the lower ring can offer?”

from behind the counter, zuko audibly groans because if the failed date wasn’t enough, now jet’s gonna recruit this girl into their stupid gang which zuko didn’t even want to be part of in the first place, JET!

jin doesn’t have any particular skills, but she’s quick on her feet and knows basic hand-to-hand combat. i headcanon she’s grown up in ba sing se, maybe coming to the lower ring as a little girl, and, since it’s not exactly a safe city, most kids either learn how to fend for themselves, or they disappear.

most importantly - she knows the city like the back of her hand, and she knows how to avoid the dai li.

around the same time jet’s cajoling her into joining their “stupid goofy not cool gang” as zuko calls it, even though he’s basically a co-founder, a quiet girl and her mother move into the same tennement building as jin.

i imagine jin lives alone or with distant family, so song and her mother are a welcome pair. song and jin immediately strike up a friendship, with song being impressed by jin’s outgoing nature and worldliness, and jin being endeared to song’s kindness and hopeful attitude, despite the fact that her home was burned down for a second time.

(something about the fire princess herself on the hunt or something, song and her mother didn’t really stick around long enough to find out.)

jin really wants to introduce song to her other friends, but hanging out with zuko and jet is shaping up to be something very dangerous, and sweet song doesn’t strike her as the type to be interested in that kind of thing.

until, one evening, jin is followed home by a strange man. she doesn’t even notice, she’s too busy laughing at some idiotic stunt jet had pulled and thinking maybe his stupid gang would be kind of fun, and she’s about to reach her door when the stranger grabs her.

she screams, but it’s quiet and dark and no one’s around to care. she struggles, bites at him, but he’s stronger and he’s dragging her away. just as she’s certain this is the end, the man collapses behind her and his hold is released.

there stands song, a long, thin needle in her hand, a terrified expression on her pale face. the two girls stare at each other, illuminated by the light of the open door to their building. suddenly a tall shadow pours over them, and song’s mother is there, looking deadly serious. she checks on jin and song, checks the man’s pulse, and then looks between the two girls.

“we’ll need to get rid of the body” song’s mother tells them. “jin, you know this city. where can we dump it?”

jin’s mind is blank for a few seconds, and then all at once is starts working again.

“stay here” she tells song’s mother, as they drag the body inside, for now. “in case we need an alibi, we were with you. i know a place”

the place is the tea shop, where zuko and jet are fortunately still loitering. jin barely explains the situation and the boys are running after her and song. it’s dark, and the situation is urgent so they don’t really take the time to get acquainted with song or bother to look too long at each other.

it’s not until they’ve wrapped the body up that zuko looks at song properly, and song looks at zuko, and they both freeze.

“what’s with you two?” jin asks, desperately trying to act normal and needing her friends to do the same. there’s a beat of silence. and then-

“nothing” they say at the same time, and get back to business.

in the end, the four teens dump the body in the sewers, strip it of any valuables which they toss across the city, and hope the anonymity of the lower ring will keep them safe.

they’re in this thing together, now. jin is in shock that she just covered up a murder, song is grappling with the fact that she just committed a murder, zuko is freaking out that song’s gonna out him as a thief to his new friends (which is a whole other can of worms because he has friends now?), and jet’s just excited that he has a new gang.

they start hanging out regularly, switching between the tea shop and jin’s and song’s building, and one evening zuko finally can’t take the tension anymore and privately asks song and her mother why they haven’t said anything. song and her mother look at each other, and seem to have a mental conversation.

finally song’s mother says “you helped my daughter. your debt is repaid” and she leaves the two of them alone.

“and besides” song tells him, patting his cheek on the unscarred side, “it’s always good to have a deep dark secret to hold over your friends!”

“you have no idea” zuko thinks.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 masterpost

#long post #let me know if you want to hear more lol #zuko #jet #jin #song #iroh #song’s mother #atla #jinjetsongko #the ba sing se bimbos #my stuff #life happens wherever queue are

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alitheakorogane · 4 years ago

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Assassination Classroom - Over The Moon AU

I have watched "Over The Moon" on Netflix recently and have the amazing idea. What if we wrote an Over The Moon AU for Assassination Classroom?

Here is my concept of the Over the Moon AU. Please bear with my long ramblings.

-------------

Thousand years ago, Koro became fatally ill due to an incurable disease. His beloved wife, Aguri, loved her husband very much and decided to find a way to heal her dying husband.

So she travelled far and wide to search the legendary Tree of Life, a magical tree that bears a legendary magic peach that only blooms and grows once in a thousand years, which could heal all diseases, no matter how incurable it is. After weeks of searching, she found the tree, and saw the magic peach, glowing with power. Desperate enough to heal her dying husband, she plucked the peach, went home, and made a healing elixir that could heal Koro.

She made Koro to drink the potion and feel the healing power of the elixir, so Koro will be healed. As expected, Koro had recovered from the disease and they lived happily.

But the happiness was short-lived. Aguri found the painful truth about the magical peach too late.

Shin (the Second Reaper), the young and talented village healer, told her the painful truth about the peach. The one who intakes the magic peach can be cured by any illness that plagues him or her, but there is a catch, a curse. The one who intakes the peach can't die, and will be immortal forever.

Aguri clung on her husband’s hands tightly, as she held on his fleeting embrace. He was floating upwards, a mysterious force pulling him away from Aguri's loving arms. The curse has started, and Koro was taken away from her. She cried and cried, holding Koro's hands tight, but she can't cling to him any longer. She let go him, her hands trying to reach her beloved, but Koro was now far away, floating to the glowing moon above.

Aguri was grief-stricken and feels regret over the loss of Koro, so every day and every night, she would offer mooncakes and sweets to an altar she made for her husband. She would pray and sing, so Koro could hear her voice, hoping that she would reunite with him soon.

Unfortunately, Aguri is a mortal and have a short lifespan. She never remarried, as she still loves Koro very much. The tried everything, she prayed and plead and she went to the Tree to find another peach to eat so she could be reunited with Koro, but the peach only grows once in a thousand years. She fell ill and died alone at a young age, without Koro in her embrace.

The now-immortal Koro was alone in the moon, trapped forever in rock and lunar dunes. He cried for the loss of Aguri, as his crystal tears fell to the ground, giving life to the rocks that became his faithful subjects. The rocks turned to humanoid teenagers, which will help him cope with the loneliness and longing for his beloved Aguri.

Every 13th day of the third month (March 13th), people celebrates the tale of Koro and Aguri by eating and offering mooncakes, while telling the children about their tragic tale. The moon would shine so bright at this time, forming a crescent shape as the reminder of Aguri's love for Koro.

Thousands of years after, there was a boy named Nagisa Shiota. He lived a happy childhood, his father would tell him stories, while little Nagisa and his mother, Hiromi, would listen to the tale under the moon. Their favorite story was the tale of Koro and Aguri. When Nagisa was 8, Nagisa's father gives him an old necktie with a crescent moon emblem and a golden moon pendant.

They were very happy, until Nagisa's father died due to illness, leaving his mother depressed and insane, as she started to think that Nagisa was his daughter she never had. She began to have delusions of a happy family, and became abusive to her son, punishing him if he never did her wishes.

Until the day they met the Asanos.

When Nagisa was 14, Hiromi met Gakuho Asano, a widower, and it was love at first sight. After a year, they are planning to get married, and Hiromi began to revert back to her old self, although she was a little abusive to Nagisa.

Gakuho has a son, Gakushuu. He is the same age as Nagisa, and he was very different from the meek Nagisa. He was always serious, competitive and kinda proud, and Nagisa had difficulty getting along with him.

Nagisa was tired of this life. He still wanted his father, and hated the fact that his mother easily replaced his father by Gakuho in her heart. So he wanted to meet Koro, the god of the moon, to prove to his mother that love is not replacable, and it is forever. He had a plan: to build a rocket to the moon.

With a little knowledge of Science and determination, he successfully made the rocket, but he never expected Gakushuu joining his plan to meet the moon god, let alone met Koro in personal. Nagisa lost control of the rocket due to shock, crashing it.

Nagisa was pissed when he found out Gakushuu joined him in this plan. Gakushuu argued that he silently help Nagisa solve the equations needed for the rocket, as some of the calculations Nagisa did are slightly wrong, and can cause trouble for Nagisa later on. Also, Gakushuu wanted to see if this Koro is real all along, as he was still skeptical about the story.

They were arguing when they were suddenly taken away by flying... Octopuses? Gakushuu loses his shit.

And do I have to tell you Koro was always holding concerts at his kingdom? Can you imagine that?

Gakushuu and Nagisa meets Koro, the god of the moon. Nagisa was ecstatic and took a photo with the moon god, while Gakushuu was still mumbing how this is possible. It was peaceful until Koro demanded about a gift to them. The two humans were confused about the immortal's demand. They don't know about the gift.

So Koro had stolen the picture of Nagisa and him as a ransom, as he announced to all his subjects that anyone who can find the gift before the last sliver of moonlight in the orb fades, their greatest wish will be granted. Of course, all of Koro's subjects were excited, so they rush out to find the gift. Nagisa wanted to get the picture so he ran outside, leaving Gakushuu looking at Koro with a glare, suddenly challenging the moon god, demanding about the picture. Koro agrees.

They settled the fight by doing a quiz bee. Two girls, a blonde named Rio, and a purple-haired girl named Ritsu, held the contest, while the Gakushuu and Koro were the contestants. They answered questions with precision, and even Koro was amazed of the strawberry-blond kid's intelligence. But they still continued on, Koro was starting to get annoyed by the kid's knowledge. Until the final question.

Koro mocks that a measly kid like Gakushuu can't answer the final question, as Koro was a thousand years older than Gakushuu and more knowledgeable. Gakushuu, having a sharp mouth than anyone, retorts and mocks the moon god about the past.

"You are more knowledgeable than me, you say to me... But why you never stopped Aguri from picking that magic peach, making and letting you drink that potion that made you who you are now? You're selfish, because if you are knowledgeable as you said you are, I think you know the peach can make you immortal! Aguri was fooled by you!"

Koro was aghast about the accusations and he was pissed, unable to concentrate, leaving Gakushuu to be the victor. Koro screamed angrily that Gakushuu and Nagisa would never get the picture until the gift was given to him, breaking the deal. He left the room with Rio and Ritsu (who was apologizing), locking Gakushuu inside.

Koro was in despair, his heart was desperate to find the gift. Okuda and Takebayashi, the royal chemists, were busily mixing potions that will be needed for the ritual. Irina, one of Koro's two trusted advisors, advised the moon god to calm down. Koro replied that he can't bear to calm down, as the time is nearly up, and he can't reunite with Aguri if the gift was not yet found. Irina assured that they will find it, that Koro will gonna reunite with Aguri. The moon god smiled gratefully at Irina as he looked at what the chemists do.

After a few moments, Okuda announced that the potion for the ritual was ready. The gift was the only one left needed. Koro sadly smiled as he looked at the orb.

Nagisa went with a team of bounty hunters, Terasaka, Muramatsu, Yoshida and Hazama. They fought and escaped the obstacles, as they reached the crash site, finding for the gift. Nagisa started to lose hope, praying for a sign. As he looked around, he noticed a sliver of pale light hitting the necktie. Nagisa widened his eyes as he realized that the necktie was the gift, and happily shows it to the bounty hunters. The bounty hounters, however, had interests for Koro to grant their wishes, bullies Nagisa into giving them the gift. Nagisa gives them a gift, but he was pushed by Terasaka, while his team laughed behind him. Suddenly, he was saved by a red-haired boy and a green-haired girl.

Terasaka calls the new arrivals outcasts as the redhead smiled like a demon, "You both were exiled by the great Koro-sama, why are you here?"

The redhead shrugged and threatened them in a conscending tone to give the necktie back to Nagisa, while the green-haired girl smiled menancingly, sending Terasaka's team shivers down their spine. Terasaka suddenly ran towards his bike with the necktie in his hands, and rode away, along with his team. Nagisa was shocked, before the redhead grabbed his hand and ran to a big pond where they could catch up with Terasaka. They reached the pond and rode on the huge toads's backs back to Kunugigaoka, as the toads like to feed in the lake near Kunugigaoka. Nagisa asked for their names.

"It's Karma and this is Kaede, by the way. You?"

"I’m Nagisa."

"Hi, Nagisa!"

Nagisa remembered what Terasaka said, and asked about it. Karma sighed as he reveals that Koro exiled him due to a song Karma sang to him about moving on. Before the exile, Karma was one of Koro's trusted students. Nagisa find out that Koro loved teaching, and Karma was one of the lucky Kunugigaokans who are the moon god's students.

Nagisa also found out the Kunugigaokans are born through Koro's magic tears. That means Karma practically came from the moon god's tears.

Kaede, on the other hand, was Aguri's actual younger sister. Nagisa was confused how she was with Koro when she was supposed to be mortal, while Aguri can't, Kaede revealed that she is actually a spirit, kinda like a shikigami, who died years after Koro was floated away to the moon, and her spirit remained to accompany Koro as his companion. Nagisa wondered why it was not Aguri, and Kaede explained that Aguri was the one who picked the peach, making it part of the curse Koro was suffering. The curse was not only to make Koro immortal, but it also affects Koro and Aguri's fate. They can't be together happily, even how many lifetimes they will be in. She was also exiled with Karma after telling Koro that a ritual to bring Aguri back would possibly not work.

Nagisa realized that Koro was unfair giving the two of them the punishment of exile for just saying a helpful comment. Nagisa spoke that he never expected Koro to be an arrogant and selfish prick, as his father told him before that Koro was graceful like a swan landing on a quiet lake, full of kindness and hope. Karma replied that Koro just missed Aguri, and love can make you desperate to do anything that may be impossible.

Nagisa smiled bitterly and agree. Kaede asked about Nagisa's family life and the bluenette told the entire life story. The two listened attentively to him. He even told them about his mother and Gakuho being remarried, and Gakushuu.

Karma smiled, "I hope I will experience having a sibling. Well, a sibling who could share my hobbies of pranking other people..."

Kayano nodded as she spoke with a cheerful voice, "Having a sibling is a fun experience though! Aguri was sweet, and she was a good sibling. Besides, we were alone for a thousand years, since we were exiled by Koro-niisan from the castle."

Karma smiled, "It is not bad to move on. You can remember them forever, cherish their memories, but you can't stay in the past and be stuck. Otherwise, you will feel alone forever."

Kaede had also remarked one fact about Koro.

"When he was overwhelmed by great emotions, the entire kingdom of Kunugigaoka will be affected, since he was the one who made the kingdom from scratch. In fact, when he was striken by great grief, Kunugigaoka will plagued by darkness, as Koro's happiness powers the entire kingdom's bright lights. The last time he was striken with great grief was the time he first landed on the moon, long before the kingdom of Kunugigaoka was made."

The trio catch up to the bounty hunters, after they reached the kingdom of Kunugigaoka, Nagisa seeing the orb on the castle glowing faintly, signalling they were running out of time. Terasaka and the gang tried to stop the trio from getting the tie, but the trio were persistent. They fought and fought, Kaede was jumping like a rabbit, Karma was happily punching Terasaka, with Nagisa watching at them in horror and shock, but in between their fight, the tie was accidentally destroyed. The bounty hunters stopped fighting them and proved that the tie was now useless.

Meanwhile, Gakushuu finds a way to escape the room and wanders around the place, looking for something to use for defending himself while looking for the photo. While finding, he met Isogai, a kindhearted Kunugigaokan who happily helped him find the photo. Along with Isogai is Maehara, a flirty blond haired Kunugigaokan.

Nagisa looked at the tattered tie in despair. "It was my father's gift to me, along with this pendant I am wearing."

Karma looked at the pendant and remarks that the pendant seems familiar. Nagisa looked at Karma in confusion, as Karma shrugged, thinking that he may be wrong. Nagisa looked at the pendant and saw something in it. The moon seems like it was actually part of something.

Kaede squinted at the golden pendant and commented, while smiling wistfully, "I remember that Aguri-neechan has that similar necklace thousands of years ago, a full moon necklace. Koro-niisan too have a similar pendant too, although it was a crescent moon pendant. He was still wearing it even now, after a thousand years. I remember that if you combined those two necklaces, it will become a whole moon, like a damn puzzle. It was their version of a wedding ring."

Karma laughed, "Yeah, I remembered that pendant. Koro-sensei showed it to me back when I was still his beloved student. He was so protective of it that he cried like a waterfall when I hid that pendant playfully that time. I remember that is how Itona-kun and Ritsu-chan was born."

Nagisa stood there, pondering over their tale. Being a perceptive person, all the pieces were put to place.

"Like a puzzle. The pendant is like a puzzle. The gift..."

Nagisa's blue eyes widened as he had realized that the tie was not the gift, but the pendant. The pendant that was with him all along!

Karma and Kaede smiled happily for Nagisa while Nagisa looks at the orb above the castle, there is only a sliver of moonlight left. Nagisa knew that there is little time left so he ran along, with Karma and Kaede following him.

While running inside, Gakushuu and Nagisa bumped to each other, and Nagisa hugged Gakushuu in happiness. Gakushuu was shocked as he tried to pull back (he kinda hates hugs), but Nagisa tightly gripped him.

Meanwhile, Maehara and Isogai looked at Kaede and Karma in apprehension, as all Kunugigaokans know that these two are exiled by Koro-sama due to personal reasons. Karma playfully greeted them while Kaede waved back.

Suddenly, a tall man came in, looking at the scene with a serious look. Everyone looked at him, even Nagisa who was pulling away from annoyed Gakushuu.

"Karasuma-sensei!" The four teens greeted the man, who was named Karasuma. Karasuma is Koro's second trusted adviser, along with Irina. Karasuma spoke in a serious voice, "I know you have the gift, the octopus is waiting for you in the main room."

Nagisa was confused why Koro, the god of the moon, was called octopus by Karasuma. Karma, remarked that Koro has great affinity with octopuses as Aguri loves octopuses. In fact, he was sometimes called "octoperv" by some people close to the moon god, due to his hidden pervert nature. It was a cute nickname for the immortal moon god.

Nagisa raised an eyebrow, he never knew about the fact that Koro was like some ordinary male, sometimes a perverted creep.

Koro was in the middle of the room, waiting for the gift, with the Kunugigaokans looking at the new arrivals with concern, happiness and relief. He raised his weird-looking eyebrow to Karma, who smiled like a demonic entity, and Kayano, who awkwardly waved at him. Kayano then looked at Koro with a concerned look, reminding him that it may not work and her opinion still stands, and the moon god smiled sadly, as he walked towards Nagisa.

Nagisa held the golden moon pendant to the immortal and Koro gently picked it up from the bluenette's hands. He looked at the pendant wistfully and removed his own crescent moon pendant from his neck and connected the two necklaces together. It fits like a puzzle piece. Takebayashi poured the potion over the necklaces and the necklaces glowed brightly.

"As two halves can be whole again, this necklace was now complete, like our love. Now, you can come back to me... Aguri."

The castle scenery changes, as it morphed into a clearing, with lots of trees around the place. There is a house in the middle, and Koro, in simple yukata he was wearing back when he was still mortal, was standing in front of the house. Nagisa, Gakushuu and the Kunugigaokans were looking from far away.

The door of the house opened, it revealed a short haired woman wearing a fancy yukata. She was short, with onyx eyes tinged with brown hues. Her short hair was adored with little hairclips and jewelry that was common for women in her time. Nagisa and the Kunugigaokans gasped from far away as they saw the woman. They saw the woman on the paintings of the castle, paintings where it was depicted Koro with his beloved wife. The woman was Aguri, the woman in the paintings and Koro's beloved wife.

It was a tearful reunion, with Koro looking at his love with a longing look as he spoke how he had missed her, and they were now reunited after a thousand years. Aguri smiled and held Koro's cheek with gentleness, but Aguri's hands glowed and slowly became transparent. Koro looked at Aguri in shock.

Aguri tearfully reveals that she can't stay any longer, as they can't be together, and Koro has to move on. Koro shook his head, screaming Aguri's name as he tried to hug Aguri and stop her from fading away, but the woman slowly floated away like how Koro had done a thousand years ago. Koro reached out desperately, trying to grab his beloved wife's hands, but Aguri faded away, smiling and saying, "I will always love you forever."

As Aguri faded away to the wind, the sliver of moonlight on the orb shatters, leaving into nothing. The time was up, and it was too late to bring Aguri back. She was gone forever.

Kaede looked at the scene sadly, as she saw her sister faded away to the wind, like how Koro has done before. She sadly remarked that she knew from the start that the ritual will never work in the first place. The curse will always plagued their fate. Also, if that was possible, you can't bring back the person long dead for a thousand years. Koro is an immortal, and Aguri isn't.

Upon hearing Kaede's sad truth, Koro was stricken with grief over the loss of Aguri once again, plunging Kunugigaoka into darkness. The god suddenly formed a protective barrier around him, forbidding anyone access to him. The Kunugigaokans were worried about their leader, Karasuma voicing his concerns.

"We can't enter the barrier, it is too powerful and no one can enters there. If there is someone that can enter it, they can't go out until Koro stopped the barrier. And knowing him, he will stay like that forever."

Irina continued, "He really loved Aguri very much, and did everything to make her come back. But we all know that it is impossible. Kayano-san was different from Aguri-san's case. That curse..."

Nagisa was confused, "How Aguri was different from Kayano?"

Karasuma looked at the moon good and sighed, " There is actually a story that was actually not included in the tales that you humans say about Koro and Aguri. When Aguri picked the magic peach and made a potion for Koro to drink, a powerful sorcerer named Shiro was very angry. He wanted the peach to himself, to be immortal forever. When he found out that the magic peach was gone, and hearing the news that a mere mortal became immortal after drinking a potion containing the peach, he was pissed. Of course, he can't curse Koro, as he was now immortal and now in the moon, so Shiro cursed the one who made the potion, the unfortunate Aguri. He used a forbidden spell to curse her."

Gakushuu asked, "Let me guess, the curse was not to let Aguri reunited with Koro forever??"

Irina nodded, "Yes. Aguri's spirit and Koro can't be reunited until the curse is broken. Shiro had announced that the curse should be broken before the last sliver of moonlight in the orb shatters, or Aguri be gone forever. But unfortunately, the curse was too powerful, even the gods can't easily lift it without trouble. Even Koro, who now revered as the god of the moon. But he tried everything to break the curse for a thousand years, and this is his chance to do it right. But he failed. That sliver of light was gone. Now Aguri is gone, and Koro can't bring her back forever."

Nagisa and the Kunugigaokans were worried when they heard the words. Even Gakushuu, who shows slight concern. Nagisa stepped forward and into the barrier's end, touching the barrier, expecting it to feel like a wall. They all were shocked when his hands passed through the barrier. Nagisa looked at the depressed god of the moon and determined to enter the barrier. Gakushuu stopped him, his hands touched the barrier. Unlike Nagisa, it never passed through.

"Are you crazy?! What if you will be stuck there forever? I can't go home without you, I still have a future on Earth!"

Nagisa sighed as he smiled, "The moon's guiding light will be gone if we don't do something."

He went inside, ignoring the pleas of Karma and Kaede telling him to stop. Nagisa walked towards Koro, who was curling up into a ball.

"Koro-sama? It's me, Nagisa. The effeminate boy? I want you to know the Kunugigaokans needed you..."

Nagisa went to reach Koro, but something... Or someone stopped him. It was the vision of his father. Nagisa widened his eyes in shock and sadness as he looked towards his father, reaching his hand to hold his father’s face once again. He cried, as he screamed for his father to come back. But like Aguri, the vision floated away, leaving Nagisa depressed. Nagisa curled up to a ball in sadness, as the memories of the happy times rushed over him.

Meanwhile, Gakushuu, Karma and Kaede tried hard to break the barrier, but it was no use. Gakushuu punched the barrier but it wouldn't budge. He may not admit it, but he is started to care about Nagisa. Kaede tearfully screamed as she pounded in the glass in desperation. In her desperation, she revealed a secret Gakushuu was shocked for: Nagisa was Kaede's descendant.

Kaede had apparently died in her 20s when she give birth to a baby boy, her first child. Before dying, she gave her sister's necklace to her son as a reminder of her sister's love for her husband. It became a family hairloom, and Nagisa got it from his father thousand of years later.

Karma comforted Kaede as Gakushuu looked towards the greenette and Nagisa in shock.

Meanwhile, Koro had noticed Nagisa crying towards the vision of his father before it fades away. Koro felt sadness as he looked towards the depressed bluenette, he realized that both he and Nagisa are similar. Both of them lost a loved one and grieving over their loss. He floated towards Nagisa and gently lifted the teen's head.

Nagisa looked at the moon god with a tearful gaze, as the moon god sadly smiled, speaking in a soft voice, "You don't belong here, Nagisa-kun. You have a family to come back to. Don't drown in sadness like I did, you are still young. I know it hurts to let go of them, but we had to move on and be happy with the ones we currently have. You will remember the moments with them, but we can make new ones. You have your mother who needed you, your new stepfather to support you, and a new brother to love you."

Nagisa looked down as he spoke in a soft voice, looking towards the moon god's dark eyes "It's not too late for you to move on too." Aguri may be gone, but they are still there." Nagisa pointed out to the teenagers who stood outside the barrier, "They needed you too."

Gakushuu punched the barrier, with Karma punching along with him. "Nagisa-kun, I know we are not in good terms, but we will try to work this out! Because we are now a family!" With one last punch, the barrier shattered, as Gakushuu and the Kunugigaokans rushed in to greet Koro and Nagisa.

Nagisa hugged Gakushuu tightly, as Gakushuu, still uncomfortable in hugging people, squirmed before giving up. Kaede smiled at Nagisa, while Karma patted his back.

All Kunugigaokans rushed towards the moon god, as they hugged the crying moon god. Ritsu, Okuda and Kurahashi was crying loudly, hugging Koro tightly. Karasuma and Irina stayed behind, but they were smiling at the joyful event.

Later on, Koro and the Kunugigaokans are ready to say goodbye to Nagisa and Gakushuu. Koro had apologized to Karma and Kaede for banishing them from the kingdom, as they were just trying to make him happy by moving on and focus on the ones who loved him now. Karma just laughed and said that it was fine, traveling was fun and exciting, that he gets to pick fights easily outside without Koro scolding him, making the moon god slapped Karma's head playfully. Kaede snorted as Karma hugged Nagisa and Gakushuu tightly as he admitted he was going to miss them, Kaede giving Nagisa a quick peck in the cheek. Nagisa blushed pink over the actions. Koro happily gives Nagisa the picture of Koro and Nagisa together, as proof. Nagisa clutched the photo with happiness, as Gakushuu rolled his eyes.

With the octopuses flying them away, Gakushuu and Nagisa returned to Earth. To a human observer on Earth, they are like shooting stars. Nagisa looked at the photo in his hand, and saw the photo is fading away. Nagisa realized that he didn't need proof, so he let the photo floated away in the wind as they fall towards the Earth.

Months after, Hiromi and Gakuho had married. Hiromi changed for the better, and Nagisa is happy that his mother is now happy in life. His brother, Gakushuu, started to warm up to him.

They celebrated the March 13th festival with their relatives by eating mooncakes and sweets while sharing stories of Koro and Aguri. Nagisa laughed at some of the story as he looked out at the moon. The moon was glowing bright, as if it was acknowledging Nagisa.

After the mooncake eating, Hiromi was with Nagisa, looking at the moon with a serene look in their faces. They remembered the memories of the past, but there is no heartbreak now. Hiromi apologized about how she acted towards Nagisa ever since his father died, and Nagisa smiled as he hugged his mother tightly. As they playfully chasing each other in the night sky, the moon shone brightly than ever, as a beautiful swan in a lake flew towards the moon.

-----

So what do you think about it? I tried hard to fit the Assassination Classroom elements to Over the Moon, add some twists and new ideas, and hoping that there is not a character that is too OOC.

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slothgiirl · 4 years ago

Text

Nothing’s gonna take you from my side (mc x noah fic)

15k. in which mc deals with the fallout of redfield/jane all while reconnecting with the boy they thought they’d lost forever. should be gender neutral but @ me if i made a mistake.

warning for mental illness.

happy spooky month. (i basically started playing choices again and that made me miss my boy noah marshall and here we are 48 hours later. pls dont let this flop

before.

You can't sleep with that tree outside your window. Still, out of the corner of your eye as you get ready to lie in bed awake until morning, you can still see Cody's dead body in the branches. And every single time it's a rush for the bathroom as bile rises in your throat.

It's five in the morning when you finally snap, grabbing the axe from your garage and sinking the blade into the tree trunk with a satisfying wack. You can't sleep. You're a newly minted adult but ever shadow in the night, in the dark, makes you jump.

You swing the axe again, with a closed mouth scream of animal desperation.

The precious few hours you are able to sleep are hardly enough: especially when shut eye equals nightmares for you. It's a mixture of Jane and the monster who turned out to be Jane in a goddamn tragedy and all the really fucked up things that didn't happen (everyone dying). You dream of the girl who was Jane. You dream of being stuck in the same way that Jane was, as you scream and scream and no one ever comes to help you and it's easy to see why your friend ended up as twisted, a poor version of herself, after being left alone to rot all those years.

And that makes you think of him.

You swing the axe even as the tears sting your eyes because it wasn't what everyone thought. Maybe. . .you can never find it in you to blame him for his actions, not when you understood-understand him so well. It was Jane. And in the end.

You leave the blade stuck in the tree trunk, not even halfway cut, as you cover your mouth with your hands and let out a grueling cry. It's an accumulation of living in fear for months: of the terror that seems to live in your mind even in the aftermath, even when the woods have been peaceful for months. Slumping into the ground, you hug your knees to your chest, still in pajamas, and let yourself cry. Again.

Sometimes it feels like crying is all you're capable of. It seems strange to keep on living when-it should've been you. He deserved to live, to be happy, to be more. . .

“Aw kid,” Cid says, walking up to you, cup of coffee in hand. “Let's get you inside.”

You nod shakily, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand, before getting up, brushing the dirt off your legs.

Cid wraps an arm around you, giving you more care and attention then your parents have in years. No wonder you understood him so well. You should’ve reached out sooner. You should’ve never pulled away after Jane. . .

“Jesus kid, you’re freezing. How long have you been out here for?”

Shrugging, you utter, “I-I couldn’t sleep. . .the tree.” And fuck, even to your own ears you sound like a complete disaster. Where did the fire that had you charging into the woods for Andy go? You look at your reflection in the glass planes of the back door and see a teenager who looks more like a ghost then a real living person.

There’s dark shadows under your eyes that no amount of concealer could hide. You lips a harsh line across your mouth. And there was a haunted quality in your eyes that matched the photos of refugees fleeing war. It was PTSD as Lucas would say back when none of your friends could sleep through the night.

“I’ll call someone to get rid of the tree,” Cid offers, as he gently guides you up the stairs, “just try and get some sleep. How else are you gonna enjoy your last summer before college?”

You nod listlessly.

Before you can curl up in the guest bedroom, you stare out into the woods behind your house. But there’s no shadows congregating into a shadowy person. There’s no red eyes glowing from the treeline and you have to wonder if Ava’s right; if Noah really is. . .dead.

“Relax Lucas,” Stacy grins, “no one’s gonna know,” she says, taking her hand off the steering wheel to slap his arm.

Lucas rolls his eyes. “I didn’t even say anything.”

You’re sitting smushed in the back with Lily and Ava and Dan. Andy had physical therapy today, otherwise there would be even less space in the back seat. Though Stacey’s mom van is roomy enough.

“Then why do you look constipated,” Ava laughs, not looking up from her latest book on witchcraft.

“Ava!” Lily giggles besides you.

“Have you figured out what to do with Pritch’s house,” Lucas asks instead.

“Not really,” Ava admits, “it's a dope house but. ..” everyone sombers up, “I-I don’t really want to live that close to the woods, y’know.”

It’s lily that jolts you all out of the awkward mood. “Maybe you should’ve gone to a college out of state then,” she prods, “Didn’t you get into Washington University?”

Ava shrugs, “community college is way more fucking cheap though. We can’t all get a full ride to Berkeley.”

Lily blushes, but smiles proudly all the same.

You stare out the window as the woods thin out, as you drive further and further down the interstate and a bolt of panic enters your chest as you realize you’re leaving the woods behind. You wrap the jean jacket that isn’t yours more tightly around your chest. It’s summer. But there’s a chill in your bones that never seems to relent.

“Yeah, yeah,” Stacey teases, “Berkeley’s alright, but it’s no NYU.”

“Are you a big city girl now,” Ava teases her, finally shutting her book, “going to go meet your Mr. Big?”

“Since when do you watch sex in the city?”

“It’s Sex and the city actually,” Lucas corrects with a grin.

“We binged a couple of seasons at Andy’s house the other day. That Miranda lesbian episode was fucking gross though,” Ava adds.

“We’ve always lived in a small town,” Stacey explains, “and New York seems like a dream.”

“Pizza rat though,” Lily counters.

“Okay, you’ve got a point,” Stacey admits, “but it’ll be nice not being known as former Major Green’s daughter.”

“I thought you guys were working on it,” you speak up, slumped against the backseat.

“We are,” Stacey nods happily, “it’s not really my parents. It’s me too I guess. I hate when people act like that’s all I am. And I think it’ll be a great experience. I loved the campus when I visited.”

“I’m happy for you Stace,” Lucas says softly.

“Plus I’ll get to heckle Lucas around town!” Stacey says once again, taking her hand off the steering wheel to slap Lucas’ shoulder.

Lucas rolls his eyes. “You’re buying me McDonalds.”

“McDonalds sounds good,” Lily adds, “I could go for some nuggies before we hit up Ikea.”

“Nuggies,” Ava snorts as Stacey pulls up to the Mcdonalds across the street from Ikea.

“Do you not want nuggies,” Lily says arching a brow.

“Oh I want nuggies,” she replies shamelessly.

“What about you hon,” Stacey asks. There’s only one other car before you have to order but you’re not hungry. Your appetite seems to have vanished along with your sleep. Even getting rid of the tree hadn’t helped much. Currently you had taken to sleeping in the living room, but sleep was still hard to come by.

“I’m okay,” you answer, “maybe just a small coffee.”

Stacey glances over at Lucas, before fixing her concerned gaze on you. “You sure? We haven’t had anything to eat since we left.”

You wanted to say you hadn’t even had breakfast, but you don’t want her to get any more concerned then she already was. It had been six months and you were still fucked up. Meanwhile your friends had recovered. Maybe they weren’t at one hundred percent, but none of them were calling you crying at three in the morning. . .anymore. It was just you that couldn’t get over it.

And there was no one you could talk to.

They hadn’t been there at the end with him the way you had. They couldn’t understand. When you told them it was Jane and not Redfield, when you told them what Noah had sacrificed in the end, they couldn’t wrap their head around it. And they didn’t want to. They just wanted to move on.

But you couldn’t.

Some essential part of you was forever in the ruins, as if you’d never left that night at all.

And the only other person who could understand was there too.

Right?

He had to be.

The same way Jane had been.

It was a selfish wish, knowing how being tethered to the power could twist a person, but you couldn’t help it. It was Noah. If you were a better person, you’d wish he’d moved on like Jane, and maybe he had. Maybe that's why nothing had happened in the months since that night.

Dan slips his hand in yours, and squeezes.

You smile gently and try to focus on enjoying the day with your friends.

The woods seem strange without a monster lurking in the shadows.

You're not even that close: hadn't even stepped one foot in the woods since that night. When you'd emerged hysterically crying and covered in dirt, all banged up from Jane, uttering his name like a prayer for which no words exist and quickly been taken to the hospital, you were sure you'd never step foot in the woods again.

Andy told you days later that no one had been able to find the ruins after your friends. No one had recovered his body.

You swallow thickly, hands pressed into a fist at your sides. There might be nothing out there. But if there's any chance that he is-that he's alice in whatever shape or form, you can't live with yourself if you abandon him the same way you'd abandoned his sister.

Sure, you were kids. You hadn't known better with Jane. But you're 18 now. You won't repeat the same mistake twice.

“Noah,” you whisper, taking a step closer to the tree line on one of the roads into town. You couldn't be at home right now, not with the open house going on.

Nothing.

Not even the crack of leaves or a bird singing. Just eerie silence as though the power and woods were one and the same and without the monster lurking in the dark, the woods were less haunting: less magical.

“Noah,” you repeat, taking a step forward until your hand touches the bark of the nearest tree, still safely held in the daylight, “Noah, it's me. Are you out there?”

You sniffle as tears well up in your eyes because you don't know what to do if he's really gone. You barely knew what to do with him when he was alive, all the complicated feelings of love and loss between you made it too hard for you to think clearly when it came to him. You only knew you couldn't let him go. Not again.

Too bad.

He'd still. . .that night. . .

“I meant it,” you utter louder, “I'm not leaving you again Noah.” If he even remembered who he was. Jane hadn't always remembered. “Noah, please let me know you're still out there.” Your gaze flits about as you look around the woods hoping to see any sign of shadows pooling together or those burning red eyes.

But there's nothing.

You wrap your arms around your chest, lips pinched tightly because fuck maybe he really was gone and you should be happy he isn't a monster but it's Noah and you're selfish because you should hate him after what he'd done to Andy and the others and you but you can't and you just want him back but things are never going back to the way they were and maybe that's a good thing because before you hadn't spoken to Dan in years and you wouldn't have know where everyone was going to college but at least Noah was alive if not happy and-and-

-you're gasping for breath.

A panic attack.

The first time this happened, you hadn't known what to do. It had felt like dying, stuck in that chair unable to help your friends all over again. It had felt like a blow to the chest as Noah came to the cold hard realization that there wasn't much left of Jane in the monster.

It had been Dan who'd talked you through it. And you take deep breaths and try to calm down because you were going into the woods again.

Just not today.

Tires screech to a halt behind you as you try to compose yourself in the midst of tears, short choked breathes that leave you gasping, and you're always so fucking cold even in mid July. Your flannel and jean jacket do little to keep you warm.

“Hon,” Stacey calls out, running up next to you, before saying carefully, “what are you doing out here?”

“She's clearly not okay,” Connor sighs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, taking your other side. “Shit you're freezing.”

“I'm fine,” you reply tightly, voice cracking.

Stacey smiles sadly, wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug, the kind of hug you've always wanted from your parents when they tell you everything's going to be alright and you actually believe them. “You're okay. They can't hurt you now.”

Connor looks back at his truck, emergency lights flashing, “we were going to get pizza, wanna come with us? It's family night.”

You hug Stacey right back, arms around her waist, chin on her shoulder, gazing out into the seemingly normal woods. “You guys do family night now?”

“We were going to make pizza,” Stacey mummers by your ear, “but we killed the yeast and the dough never rose.”

“So we're buying pizza now,” Connor adds with a laugh.

You nod, “if you think that's alright.”

“Of course it's alright,” Stacey responds right away, “you're always welcome at my house.”

Her words make you want to cry all over again. It's enough to tease the smallest of smiles out of your lips. “Sounds good.”

Her grip on you eases to match her brothers, one arm around your shoulder. You're flanked by the Green siblings: safe and sound.

They lead you back to Connor’s truck, gossiping about how Staceys moms still wondering if it's not too late for Stacey to major in economics and how leaving politics has actually made their family much better, but that might just be the family therapy they're all going to. “Mom also wanted to roadtrip to New York to drop Stacey off,” Connor grins, “s’ gonna be so embarrassing for you. Have your parents walk you to your first class.”

“Oh shut it you,” Stacey retorts, clicking her seat belt.

You glance back one last time at the woods and-

there, behind a dead tree, it's rotting husk is a bounty for all the decomposers and bugs that live in the woods, a pair of glowing blue eyes looking right at you. Your heart skips a beat as you place your hand on the window, whispering so softly, “Noah,” as Connor drives into town.

Neither sibling hears you.

“Are you sure you want to live here,” Andy says skeptically as Dan and Ava help you carry the boxes of things you'd decided to keep when you sold your old house. It had too many bad memories for you to sleep there. “It's-,”

Bound by the woods on three sides, the backyard merging with the woods of the small cottage from the 1930s, before the cookie cutter houses of the suburbs were built.

“It's got character,” Ava grins, tossing a box down in the hall. “Still can't believe your parents let you sell the house.”

“They really like Alaska,” you shrug. You weren't sure what part their research base was in. Were they even still in Alaska?

“I wish my parents let me move out already,” she rolls her eyes, “but no. If I'm staying for community college then I have to live with them.”

Andy sits on the couch, crutches resting on the wall next to him. “I still can't believe I have to repeat senior year.”

“At least we’re together,” Dan says shyly, taking care to put down the box he'd carried inside down and out of the way so no one will trip.

“And we don't have to worry about Redfield this time,” Ava adds.

Dan elbows her.

“What! I'm just saying!”

Andy rolls his eyes. “So you're back to being the scariest witch in town then?”

“Damn right I am,” Ava grins. “Check this out.” She sticks her hand out and even gets you to wander over to her. Ave glances at you all, making sure you're paying attention, before snapping her fingers.

Nothing happens.

“Um,” Andy's about to start.

Ava rolls her eyes, snapping her fingers once more.

This time, smoke wafts up from the space between her thumb and middle finger.

“Shit Ava,” Andy's eyes go wide. “Should we even be messing around with that again.”

“It's just magic,” Ava huffs.

You say nothing, wondering if Noah would show up now that you were closer to the woods. Closer to him.

He hadn't appeared since that day.

It was enough to make you wonder if you really were seeing things.

“Well whatever it was that,” Dan, swallows, “that power Pritch told you about. . .its still out there even if it's not. . .” he trails off as unsettled as Andy who had rapidly lost all color.

“No-no. It's gone,” Andy said, “right?”

“Ask them,” Ava nudges you with her arm, “you're the one that spends all your time staring at the woods.”

“I-ugh,” you stutter wondering what happened to leave you this much of a mess. You look in the mirror and wonder where the person who told off Cody and Britney for bullying your friends went.

“Ava,” Dan snaps. “leave them alone. Let's just-”

“Not talk about this,” Andy finishes.

“No one ever want to talk about it but it's right there,” Ava yells, pointing her hand out the window.

“I think it's gone dormant again,” you lie. “like before we found that place.”

“I hope so,” Andy mutters.

“I'll be fine here,” you reassure them. “I don't want to be afraid of the woods for the rest of my life.”

“Right,” Ava says with a pained smile. “Let's finish getting these boxes in so we can start watching what we do in the shadows.”

“Again,” Andy complains, “what's wrong with-”

“We're not watching spider-man again!” Dan groans.

“Spider-man is a trans icon,” Andy replies.

“The only acceptable spider-man is the 1st and 2nd movie with Tobey Mcguire,” Ava adds.

You giggle softly, “why can't we just watch both. It's not like we have school tomorrow.”

“Finally someone with a brain,” Dan smiles.

Noah tosses rocks into a lake, little pebbles he can't make skip.

You laugh, teasing him easily. “What a loser!” From your spot sitting on the lake edge.

He turns back towards you with a scowl that carries no real heat, “I’d like to see you do better.”

“You think I can't,” you retort easily, getting up and dusting the dirt and grass from your butt. You never did know when to back down from a challenge.

“I know you can't,” he grins.

“Asshole,” you bite back as he drops a few pebbles into your outstretched hand, warm from his touch, and doesn't that make your insides turn to mush.

“Takes one to know one.”

You take a pebble into your hand and flick your wrist.

It sinks right where it lands.

“Motherfucker,” you curse as Noah breaks out into laughter, his wide brown eyes dancing with glee as you pout.

“Don’t be a sore loser.”

“I didn’t say anything,” you wave off, “best two out of three.”

“No,” Noah snips back, “you lost.”

You roll your eyes, shoving him playfully. “Alright alright but I don’t even know how to swim so it’s not really my fault.” You look around at the lake. It’s a beautiful sight, the woods on the other side of the shore like something right out of a painting.

“You don’t know how to swim,” Noah says without missing a beat, ready to keep on teasing you.

You shrug, “it’s not like I had a pool in my backyard.”

His expression falls, “yeah well,” he fiddles with his beanie, “mom filled it up not long after. . .”

“I’m sorry,” you tell him, closing the distance between the two of you, and wrapping your arms around him in an easy hug because you knew that Noah could be weird about this sort of sudden affection.

“It’s fine.”

“Still.”

He brings his hand up to cup your cheek.

The gesture sends your heart beating like a hummingbird in your chest, the base of your throat burning with anticipation for something you’ve never let yourself think about because when had it ever been the right time for this. When had you ever had the time to think about the possibility you dared no name.

Noah’s brows furrow, “where are we?”

You frown, looking around without moving away from him. The feel of his hand against the skin of your cheek felt like the only thing anchoring you to this world. It made you feel real in a way that you’d stopped feeling like a part of the world ever since the terrors of your senior year had started. The shoreline looks beautiful as you gaze out at the lake and behind you there’s a small quaint town and you know this has something to do with Tom and Andy but you can’t remember what right now even as you bite your lip in thought.

Your gaze goes back to Noah, words dying on your parted lips when you meet his eyes. Gone are the warm brown irises that had given him the perfect puppy dog eyes as a child, able to slip out of trouble easily. Instead his eyes burn an electric blue because it’s not Noah anymore but the shadow monster and you flinch in fear, pulling away so fast you stumble, tripping over grass and then you’re falling into the lake.

You can’t swim.

You scream, arms flailing out trying desperately to catch yourself.

Noah-the monster-the monster that might be Noah, reaches out one shadowy limp, and then you’re underwater.

Plunged suddenly into ice water, you take a deep breath from the shock that fills your lungs with water and you kick your legs but they are stuck in something and the sunlights never seemed so far away.

You don’t want to drown.

You don’t want to die here.

“Noah,” you scream in the water. Because if it is Noah he’ll help you. He won’t let you die. He died to save you once after all and you haven’t been able to stop thinking about that day. You hadn’t wanted to die but you hadn’t wanted him to die either. You had just wanted him.

You had just wanted the nightmare to end.

Gasping, drenching in sweat, you jolt up from the desk you’d fallen asleep on. Everyone’s packing up their things and leaving. The class is over and you’re shaking, looking around wildly as if you can conjure Noah up by sheer force of will.

He’d been in your dream.

Just like Andy a year ago.

It was real.

Noah was still out there and you had to find him before he lost his mind alone in the awful forest that you still hated. The leaves rustling outside your windows at night was enough to keep you from leaving your bed. The way the trees cast shadows meant you threw the trash away in the morning.

Noah was still out there and he needed you.

You don’t realize you’re crying until your English 101 Professor walks up to you, still sitting even as the next set of students start filling in.

“Do you think you can stand up,” he asks, peering down through his glasses. He’s an older man, beard gone white, short, with a bit of a belly like most middle aged people. Clad in corduroy, a white shirt, and a wool vest, he’s the very picture of what you imagine a professor to look like. Nothing like your biology professor who’d walked into class with sandals and a big tie dye piece of fabric that almost worked as a dress.

You nod, grabbing your notebook and hastily shoving it into your backpack, ignoring the searching stares of other students.

You follow your professor out the door, still shaking, shoving the hair that was sticking to your forehead, damp with sweat, out of your face. Your eyes flit around, searching for a boy you know isn’t there but if Jane sensed your distress with Cody then maybe Noah will sense yours.

“Sorry,” your professor says bashfully, “I still haven’t learned names, but are you alright? You look really shaken.”

You nod, not trusting yourself to speak, all bundled up in a flannel, sweater, and jacket combo that helped ease the a/c that blasted the lecture room into arctic temperatures. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, just had a nightmare.”

“Hope I wasn’t that bad,” the man chuckles, “it was only the first lecture.”

“No,” you try, “no, it’s not you. I’ve-I have a lot of nightmares. And I don’t get much sleep.”

“Because of the nightmares,” the man asks, and you wonder what you’re doing spilling your guts out to this stranger when you keep telling Andy that you’re good. You keep telling Dan that you’re getting enough sleep and no mom you were eating a big heart breakfast even though it was usually only cereal that turned to mush before you could finish it.

“Yeah,” you sigh, clutching onto the strap of your backpack. “I’ve just sort of been a mess. And,” your voice cracks, “it’s just me. For a while it was all of my friends but they got better and I feel like shit because I can’t move on and it’s been almost a year.” And there was the word vomit.

“I know it’s not much but,” your professor tries, “everyone heals at different lengths of time.”

“I think I’m late for class,” you suddenly realize, because you’d scheduled art history right after english so you wouldn’t have nothing to do on campus for over an hour.

“It’s just the first day,” he repeats.

“I should get going,” you tell him.

“Of course.”

“I’ll try not to fall asleep in your class.”

“How about you first try to get some sleep at home.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks, “yeah. No promises though.”

You’re painstakingly trying to make dinner that isn’t kraft mac and cheese or a frozen entree from trader joes. But you quickly learn that you don’t have a lot of the pantry staples. Like pepper, or bay leaves, and kraft mac and cheese was looking likelier by the minute. Who knew making pasta was so complicated.

At least you have salt for the pasta water, from the salt packets you’d collected over the course of the last month of take out. It was economical despite what Stacey had chastised you about the last time you’d facetimed. One takeout box worked as lunch and dinner.

Maybe Dan had a point.

You probably weren’t eating enough. All your jeans were a little loose now, but at least you were finally using the belt Ava had given you for your birthday so that you too could be “a bad bitch like me,” according to her.

At least the pasta sauce was easty, being from a can, all you had to do was heat it up.

There was enough daylight left, even as fall crept into the world, that you left the curtains open. It wasn’t like you were completely abandoned out here. You lived at the old house at the end of a street. And yeah, the woods surrounded your humble abode one three sides, but if you screamed, the neighbors would definitely hear.

Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be Cid running over to check on you anymore.

You finally finish making pasta, only to find you didn’t leave the pasta boiling for long enough. The noodles are still chewy but you power through it in the name of self care.

It’s not that bad. Really, for the first attempt. You’ll have to go grocery shopping for more than chips and lunchables though if you plan on cooking more in the future and fuck why does everything connect back to Noah.

Like a great student in the cast of the Lucas, you’ve already finished your assignments due tomorrow but only because yeah, Andy had sort of been right, living this close to the woods freaked you out at night but every single night, like tonight, you bundled yourself in an oversized sweater you might or might not have begged off Noah’s mom, and step into your backyard with a heavy duty flashlight because you know you saw him. He’s out there, and maybe Lucas and Lily had been right to leave far far away, but you couldn’t when Noah was stuck here forever.

He didn’t deserve that. He was just a messed up kid the same way you all were after having gone messing around in those ruins as kids.

You step into the chilly air in dollar tree flip flops that you’d bought when you’d all gone to drop Tom off at his new job by his university, the local one that Tom had sort of always wanted to go to because unlike you, he’d thought about college since junior year instead of waiting for the last quarter of high school to panic. Your feet still get dirt on them, but not as much as if you went out barefoot.

“Noah,” you utter as loud as you dare in the quiet of the evening.

You didn't fancy becoming the local neighborhood crazy lady though you were on your way there.

Maybe it could be you and Ava as the village witches.

Holding the flashlight loosely, the same one Noah had taken into the woods when you’d both gone to save Dan, you cry out, feeling more sure of yourself by the minute, “Noah, are you out there? I think I saw you but considering how many police officers thought I must've seen things back in-well that night, I could have just imagined you. But I didn't, did I?” You sigh, peering out into the dark. “Do you remember me Noah? I'm your friend and-I just want to know you're there. I miss you Noah.”

Nothing peers back at you.

Last year, you'd feared seeing something looking back at you from the trees. Now, you wish there was a monster lurking about. Your monster.

Your life had officially gone from an Ari Aster horror movie to a Guillermo Del Toro movie. But given the last months, you weren't surprised.

You bite your lip, taking one last look around the yard before turning back to go to bed. “Goodnight Noah.”

Even Ava would be concerned if she knew you were purposely trying to get the shadow monster creature that Noah now was to come. She was firmly on the Noah is a SOB club. Which you might have been in if you hadn't seen Noah in the last moments of his life.

If he hadn't ultimately saved both you and Jane. In the end.

If if if. Your entire life now centered around what ifs.

You kick the kitchen counters in frustration. “Fuck,” you yell, wishing you could fix things: feeling helpless and alone and this would probably be another night tossing and turning until sunrise.

The pan of pasta you'd made earlier clatter to the floor, tomato sauce spilling like blood on the tile floor.

You scream, the ice in your veins thawing for the first time in months only to give way to the familiar terror of knowing something was in here with you. Something was in your kitchen.

You turn, bracing yourself for disappointment.

A figure coalesces from the shadows in the middle of your kitchen--you'd walked right by it without out noticing--it's eerie blue eyes glittering like fireflies in the encroaching darkness of the twilight hours. It casts its shadow across the entire house, blotting out the lamplight from the hallway, from the patio lights.

Noah.

You don't think twice, because it's Noah. Doesn't matter what shape or form he takes, you'd know this boy anywhere. Maybe it was Jane or running into the woods alone together that had bonded you until you couldn't even accept the idea he might be gone when every fiber of your being knew he wasn't, but you know it's him.

You reach out towards the shadows, taking a step forward, “Noah,” you whisper gently, awed by the fact he was finally here. “I've missed you. I-I was scared I wouldn't see you again. That you didn't want to see me.”

The creature that is and isn't Noah tilts its head, and you wonder if he remembers you at all.

You take another step forward, full in the shadows reach, “Do you remember me Noah? I'm your. . .” Friends wasn't enough to cover the ocean currents of emotions that swept through you when it came to Noah. “You're Noah. And I promised I wouldn't leave you again and I mean to keep my promise.”

Your outstretched hand hovers between you, putting the ball firmly in his court. You're close enough where you could just touch him, but you wait.

Finally, after holding your breath and listening to blood rush in your ears, Noah reaches out with his own hand-like shadow brushing like a cool breeze against your hand.

“Sss s-stay.”

You nod quickly, a smile forming in your lips, tears of joy in your eyes forming rivers down your cheeks. “I will. You don't have to be alone anymore Noah. Not ever.”

during.

Your painstakingly cut out all the different groceries on the flyers as well as adding in all the index cards of additional groceries that weren't on the flyers instead of finishing your calculus homework. You couldn't wait until you were done with math for life.

It was nice to sit on the floor if a little awkward as Noah hovered about. Sometimes it was a lot like talking to yourself.

“-So my english teacher, professor I mean, put me in touch with a company to do their social media since I'm good at english or whatever. You know, the one I told you saw me wake up from a nightmare. Which is nice since I could use a big girl job. I sent my very sparse resume this morning so I'm just waiting to hear back from them.” You start spreading out each card on the floor before curling up on the sofa.

“Okay Noah,” you gesture with a laugh because really what was your life that you were letting Noah who didn't even have a body decide your grocery list for the week. “Remember we want a pile.” You'd dubbed this monster motor skills practice much to Noah's annoyance.

His eyes flicker red and you can guess the look he's giving you.

“Oh shut up,” you laugh easily, “I have to have my fun somehow. We don't all get to knock food off the counter when you don't like it.” He didn't even eat and yet somehow your cooking skills were still offensive to him.

He laughs in an approximation of leaves rustling in the wind: leaves crunching under boots as you walked through the woods. Then, Noah finally starts grasping at the bits of paper in creative ways. Sometimes he conjures up a gust of wind which has vastly improved from blowing everything to just getting the right bit of paper onto the couch by your side. Occasionally he'll grasp at the paper which is a toss up if it'll actually work. Then there the good old vanishing and reappearing which is the most taxing but fun to watch.

“I see you think we have that adult money,” you grown as he goes for the wagyu beef. “I'm going to have to stop letting you watch worth it when I'm in class.”

Noah grumbles, before sending a pillow your way.

Another headshot.

“Don't be a dick.”

“Sss o rry,” Noah says, not meaning it even a tiny bit.

You dissolve into laughter because honestly what was your life that this was how you spent your days. With Noah. With your monster.

It takes another hour but you finally have your list. “I'm not making lasagna. Baked ziti is easier.”

Noah sends a burst of wind your way.

“Shut up I’m not lazy. Cooking is just so long! You have to cut all these things and lasagna means boiling so many noodles without tearing them and I always feel like I'm wasting salt by seasoning the water.” You ramble on as you copy down the homework answers for your math work from Slader.

“Las yyya.”

“Ziti,” you counter, refusing to budge. “Maybe art history could be my major but I think I like the writing part of english the most, but I wouldn't want to be an english teacher.”

“Lasss a ya.”

“Fine,” you roll your eyes, “I won't change the subject but the answer’s still ziti.”

If he could, you imagine Noah would roll his eyes as he settles down on the couch in front of you. You sitting criss cross applesauce on the couch with your laptop and notebook.

Noah reaches his hand out and you no longer flinch at the cool touch of shadow that obscure everything. Like a black void, not cold or warm. His touch is the closest thing to warmth you've felt since that night and maybe something inside of you was permanently broken if you couldn't get warm.

His hand against yours, hovering in the air because he wasn't corporal enough to hold your hand and fuck your heart aches at the thought that this is as good as it gets. That your growing pile of research into folklore and the occult that you hid from Ava wouldn't fix this. That you couldn't bring Noah back to. . .back to himself.

Someone knocks on the door.

It must be Dan.

Noah rises like the moon in the night sky, smothering out the light pouring in from the windows, eyes flashing red.

You roll your eyes. Men. “It's just Dan. He's a friend. Your friend too. Remember I told you about our friends?”

Noah tilts his head. “fr iendssss?”

“Yeah. Friends,” you concur, tucking your hair behind your ears as you close your computer. “Now go. I'll be back tonight.”

“Noah ahhh lone.”

You shake your head having gone through this a hundred times before. “Don't be so melodramatic Noah. I'm going to the grocery store and mooching off Dan's car, ‘s not like I'm going to the moon.”

Within the span of a blink, he's gone.

You open the door to Dan’s cheery face. “So High school still sucks. I should've done online homeschool.”

“Well don't tell Ava that. She'll never let you live it down,” you comment.

Dan shrugs. “It's nice having Andy though. And you two.”

“Ah yes, us,” you tease, “the village weirdos.”

“It's good to see you laughing again,” Dan comments without judgement. “You looked rough all summer.”

You bite your lip, thinking his words over. “Yeah. It’s. . .Its nice to feel like a real living person again.”

“Did you go to therapy like Stacey said,” Dan asks.

You shake your head. “I stopped looking back.” Which was almost the whole truth. You'd stopped looking back because Noah was here with you now.

Deciding to change the subject because you hated lying to your friend, you ask, “did Ava say what our halloween plans are this year?”

Dan nods, letting it go, “Rocky Horror Picture Show plus lots of booze. Her words, not mine.”

“Andy shot down the cemetery idea?”

“Tom was the winning argument,” Dan confesses. “Called getting drunk at the cemetery too pedestrian.”

You laugh so hard your shoulders shake. “Fucking Tom, man. Yeah I wasn't looking forward to sneaking into a cemetery either.” You hated the idea of Noah having a gravestone when he was still alive and kicking. Your major annoyance of a roommate.

“Thank god for theater then,” Dan says with a smile as you pull into town.

It's springtime in your dream. The flowers are brighter and more fragrant than any wildflower bloom you'd seen with your real walking eyes. Even as the rain pours gently in a scene that would never exist in the same perfection in real life.

You're in the same opening in the woods that you'd found Dan in. A place you hadn't ventured since.

Noah sits, back against a tree truck, as close to flesh and blood as he could get nowadays.

Without hesitation, you run to him, “Noah,” you cry out in joy.

His disarmingly warm brown eyes meet yours, brimming with the same joy you feel bubbling up from the tips of your toes all the way to your lips where you're smiling so hard it hurts. “Sup.”

You giggle, sitting down next to him, “I see you finally learned to talk.”

He rolls his eyes, before he wraps his arms around you and hugs you against his chest. “Is this real? Or just a dream.”

“Funny,” you whisper back softly, “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

You're missing him the moment he lets you go, pulling back. His shoulder still resting against yours as if you're two trees leaning against each other for support, too intertwined to separate now.

Noah studies you carefully, without any shame, with his own features for once. He looks at you with a kind of heart wrenching earnestness that you can't bear to see for this long without reaching for him but you don't dare.

You look away, the hollow of your mouth filling with emotion. You don't know what to do with it.

You hug your knees to your chest, lapsing into silence.

He brings his hand up to your cheek, causing you to wordlessly lean into his touch, a bone deep need that would send you into his arms even knowing that he'd led you and all your friends into a trap. Even then, you'd still follow him down to the ruins.

“I'm sorry,” he finally manages, his hand cool against your skin like his shadow form. And for once, in this dream, you're not shivering with cold.

“If you had told me,” you utter gently, “about Jane, I would've helped you.”

“Well I know that now,” Noah states bitterly, his thumb caressing your hallowed cheek. It seemed like months of barely eating had taken their toll on you after all. And while you were now making the effort to eat, you still weren't at your natural weight.

You smile tightly, wishing like you knew he was, that things had gone different somewhere along the line: that you had more than just dreams and a shadow. You wish you had the boy you missed even if he was a dick sometimes. You wish you could act on the feelings that had only grown even with Noah in his current state.

“Where did your chipmunk cheeks go,” he suddenly teases, steering the conversation away from becoming a sob fest on your end. Maybe his too. You weren't sure.

You scowl, but don't pull out of his hold, feelings incredibly relaxed with him. “Don't-”

He smiles a shit eating grin, mischief twinkling in his chestnut eyes, “is it because you can't cook?”

“You're such a dick,” you utter with a disbelieving laugh, even as you shove his shoulder roughly, breaking whatever heavy tension had weld up between the two of you.

“Oh and you're a fucking angel now are you,” he retorts.

“Well excuse me for forgetting which jar of white stuff was the sugar and which was the salt! I was just trying to be cute!”

Noah doesn't relent, “and which was the jar of coke.”

You roll your eyes. “You've got to ratatouille me if we're ever going to get anywhere in the kitchen.”

“God I love that movie,” Noah says with a fond smile on his face that softens his entire features up. When he smiles like that, he's heartbreakingly handsome that you can't look away, caught in his gravitational pull and fuck you don't stand a chance.

“Me too.” You agree. “We should watch it tomorrow.”

“Deal,” Noah says, puffing up his chest and sitting up straight as he holds his hand out.

You shake on it, before you both burst out laughing.

For the first time in months, you have to force yourself to wake up.

You're making pancakes for lunch. Nothing fancy, a box mix much too Noah's annoyance. You were in the mood for them and you had a mix so it was a total no brainer.

Noah's in the woods somewhere. He's yet to drag you in too deep, having quickly realized that you were still fucked up about venturing into the woods even with the biggest baddest monster around as your best friend. You can sense him out there even from your downsized house which was homier than your actual house ever was.

It's been over a year.

You think you're making a lot of progress.

You sleep through the night. You turn the lights off. And you don't flinch at the sound of random large noises.

Lucas even talked about visiting for the summer.

Progress.

It's a saturday morning and you only have an hour or two of work to get through, mostly email correspondence. Working from home was unexpected, but it saved you from dealing with customers. You got enough horror stories from your friends. You've got most of the day to spend with Noah and you're starting to feel like you should take him up on a walk through the woods.

Someone knocks on your door.

You aren't expecting anyone.

You swallow, reminding yourself that nothing was haunting you now. There was no monster waiting to kill you anymore. And monsters don't knock.

They knock again.

You brace yourself, before peering though the peephole.

It was just Tom and someone you'd never met before. Just Tom.

You open the door. “Hey Tom,” you say friendly enough, remembering to smile and act like a real human being instead of the heavily traumatized teenager you still were.

His own face is a grim mirror image of yours only a few months ago. All dead eyes and hallowed out. “I,” he looks at the friend he's brought along, “We have a problem. Like the one that happened here.”

Your stomach drops and you can only think Noah, as the ice in your veins ratchets up and you feel frozen in place.

Tom continues on, caught up in his own terror, “I already texted the others. I-I didn't know who else to ask.”

You feel yourself nod in some strange out of body experience which finds you sitting on your sofa.

“I smell something burning,” Tom's friend asks, clearing wondering if you're going to get up, but that seems like an impossible task as you think and think yourself into a black hole of misery.

What now.

Someone must've turned off the pancakes at some point you think as your friends still in town fill your house even as you sit on your sofa, a little ball of self amplifying panic that fills your chest and you're so so cold. It's summer again. A hot 89 degrees Fahrenheit and you're wearing a hoodie that's long lost Noah's scent.

You pull the sleeves down over your hands as Dan takes a seat next to you.

Ava has a thick three inch black binder of occult lore ready to go even as Andy jokes about Ava having finally achieved her lifelong dream.

It doesn't take long for the smiles to fade as Tom’s friend goes over their situation and yeah. . .it sounds like a monster. Like Jane. Like Noah.

A monster in a lake.

It made sense.

What was a forest without something lurking among the trees. What was a lake without something hidden in its depths.

“I can't swim,” you utter the same words you'd told Noah months ago. It hadn't been a dream then anymore than your usual nights were. The only time that you and Noah saw each other as close to normal as possible.

You'd missed the quirk of his mouth as he laughed, the corners of his eyes all scrunched up.

Tom forces a smile for your benefit. “When we get rid of this thing you guys should come over for a swim.”

“Hell yeah,” Andy chimes in, patting your knee, “I can teach you to swim.”

You shake your head. “That's not what I meant. I-,” you glance at all the faces staring at you, waiting. You take a deep breath, your heartbeat slowing down as you sense Noah draw near. You hug your arms to your chest, always cold. “I had a dream about a lake, a couple months ago. I drowned. . .something drowned me.”

Dan inhales sharply, staring intently at his shoes.

“You think it's got something to do with the power,” Andy asks out loud.

“It has to be connected dude,” Tom says with a nod. “If they're sensing it from here.”

“It is only on the other side of the woods,” Ava points out, looking over at you with a frown.

Noah's inpatient. You can sense him pacing around the tree line behind your house. Your anxiety must’ve worried him.

You make the tough call. “Guys,” you stand up, moving towards the back door. “I have something to show you.”

They follow you out without a thought, everyone reeling from their own trauma as Ava and Tom bounce ideas off each other. Toms friend. . .you hadn't caught a name, looks just as shaken as you used to feel every day.

You force yourself to look at the trees. “Noah,” you reach a hand out, “it's okay. They're friends. You can come out.”

Ava's face immediately tenses, shooting you a dark look that means you are definitely having amping talk with her later. Right, she was part of club Noah was a rat faced liar.

Tree branches rustle and you smile as you spot a cluster of shadows in the split second before they form a humanoid body.

“Oh jeez,” Andy says painfully, wincing as Noah emerges into your backyard, eyes a sparkling blue of a lightning bolt.

You draw your hand back to your chest, imagine the way he'd held it in the dream, and that he couldn't in life.

“Friend ss!”

Dan jumps back a good two feet. Tom's gaze flits between you and Noah, before deciding to focus on Noah.

His friend utters, “is-are we safe?”

“Yeah Noah,” you reply ignoring her, “they're friends. They have their own not so friendly scooby doo monster they need help with. Remember Tom.”

Noah nods, “bass ket ball….Andy!”

“I'm sorry,” Ava cuts in sharply, glaring at you. “How long has this been going on for exactly?”

Noah looks at you, and you don't know if it's sheepish or if it's, you want me to get rid of them, so you cut in. “It doesn't matter. This,” you say, waving at Noah, “is help isn't it?”

“She has a point,” Tom utters with a shrug.

“Sssss orry Ava,” Noah utters loud enough to scare off the birds that had been standing on the utility pole.

Ava blinks, clearly thrown for a loop. And then decides to let it go for now, “Fine, fine but don't blame me when the shadow monster kills us all.”

“Which shadow monster,” Dan points out because now there were two. But one was Noah and he'd never hurt anyone. You knew that for a fact the same way you knew that Noah would capitulate to playing fear factor tea party even though he found worms disgusting as a kid.

“We have the worst luck,” Andy groans.

Tom's friend shrugs, “I'll take all the help I can get.”

You look back over at Noah, who's at least trying, by shrinking himself down to almost human sized. “Behave.” You say teasingly, wagging a finger and everything.

Noah's eyes flash red which sends them all a step back. “Yessss mom,” he croaks back in the most teenage angst tone of voice that has you thinking you might just lift the my chemical romance ban for the week.

“You're such a dick,” you snip back with a laugh. You catch Andy's gaze, his expression funny as he looks at you, but says nothing.

Ava rounds on you as soon as Noah and the others are gone. You can sense him getting further and further away and your gut turns because what if he never comes back. “When the hell were you going to tell us about that thing!”

“It's Noah,” you protest with a whine.

Andy scowls angrily, “that's not Noah. And even if it was he tried to kill us, or don't you remember?”

You flinch because yeah. There wasn't exactly much you could say on that front.

“He was trying to help Jane,” you speak up, trying anyway.

“Ugh,” Ava groans, punching her nose bridge, “that was never Jane and it's not Noah. It's a monster. Get that through your head.”

You curl up into yourself.

“Guys,” Dan tries to speak up, but Ava is on a roll.

“It could have killed you,” she shouts, voice breaking.

“Noah wouldn't-” you protest, trying to get them to understand, but your limbs are heavy. Your cold and all you want to do is curl up in bed until he gets back.

“Noah tried to kill us,” Andy reiterates.

Which has you back to square one, “because he was trying to save Jane! He didn't know she was going to kill us and it doesn't matter because he died for me in the end,” you snap back just as pissed off.

“It wasn't Jane,” Ava says waving her arms aggressively.

“How else would she have known about the whistle?”

“Because Noah told Redfield!”

You shake your head. “You were there. You saw her cross out Redfield,” you tell the three of them. “And I was there at the end. Noah chose to die so Jane could finally be free. He died so I got to leave that place.” A violent shiver runs down your spine.

Andy draws back. You hadn't said a word of what transpired after you were left alone with the Marshall twins, it had seemed to be a private and intimate matter.

“So yeah,” you finish, “maybe he did lure us down there, but he also died to keep any of us from dying. You don't have to forgive him but he's lord fucking voldemort or sauron.”

Dan looks at you with pity.

You all sit down in an angry cloud of silence that buzzes and pricks at your thoughts. This was exactly why you hadn't told them.

“At least you finally found your spunk again,” Ava offers after a few minutes.

You ignore her.

She rolls her eyes, looking through her supernatural research.

“How long,” Dan ventures to ask.

The others are listening. They don't look at you but they straighten up on the couch.

For once you're glad not everyone is here. Stacey was relentless and Lucas never would never stop going at it even when he'd made his point. Lily might understand, but she'd still be hurt.

“Since last fall,” you admit.

Dan nods as though he had guessed as much, “when you started getting better.”

You nod. “Noah doesn't let me eat frozen meals or takeout all week.”

“Oh fuck,” Ava swears, “it really is Noah.”

You pull the fleece blanket that's usually somewhere in the living room over your shoulders to try and warm up, a useless exercise, you knew that by now but it didn't stop you. Not when your joints hurt from the cold. You couldn't wait until Noah got back.

“You know it's 93 degrees out right,” Andy says lightly.

“Yeah,” you shrug shamelessly, “I'm freezing though.”

Ava tilts her head in thought.

“Yeah, I'll say,” Andy replies, “you're not even sweating in this heat.”

“He's-he's never hurt you, not even by accident,” Dan asks gently.

“No-god no,” you answer honestly. “He's-well he's got okay control now. He did ruin a couple light bulbs but he's. . .he’s never forgotten he's Noah so no he wouldn't hurt me.”

“I hope for your sake you're right,” Andy mutters darkly. “You're the one playing house with a shadow monster.”

You slump into the couch as your cheeks burn. You can't make yourself look at any of them because Andy's words hit closer to home then you would like.

This was probably as good as it was going to get for you and Noah. There was no first kiss, no holding hands or. . .there was just the hours you slept in bed and your own monster who kept you cool if not warm.

And even with that realization, you'd still choose him.

Wasn't that what love is?

after.

“I can't believe you went on a dumb ghost adventure without me and unlocked a whole new skill,” you complain while sipping on your match latte that you'd bought that little electric thing for specifically.

Noah does jazz hands with a deadpan expression on his face that makes the action even more surreal, now semi transparent and glowing a ghostly blue but at least looking like himself.

You'd both been binge watching danny phantom for ideas.

You were coming up on the second year of community college and it was time to think about transferring. . .to the nearest university because Noah was pretty much bound to these woods. And there was no way in hell you were leaving him. So there was one choice.

This morning you really only had to select your next fall semester classes. But first, spotify. You needed some jams to get you through the morning.

“At least there’s something to be said for being a ghost monster thing,” Noah shrugs, sitting down on the floor, attempting to turn the page on a book you’d left open last night, too exhausted to clean up. His hand passes right through the pages.

“Noah,” you complain weakly because boy oh boy did this boy say the saddest things sometimes and it sucked you couldn’t actually hug him because you had the feeling that your words didn’t always stick. It was clear that Noah didn’t always believe you when you said your plethora of comforting words in place of hugging him until he realized just how much he meant to you.

He looks up at you from the floor with an easy smile. “Yeah?”

And you roll your eyes. Joking about it was good. Your therapist had said it wouldn’t always be as bad as it had been that first week when you’d been practically catatonic in the hospital. “How does tame impala sound,” you ask him because manners. It’s not like he could change the music, and you never wanted him to feel left out just because he wasn’t solid enough to affect the material world.

“I’m not listening to elephant for two hours.”

“Hey,” you yelp, “sometimes I listen to let it happen.”

He sneers, “still not listening to the same two songs on replay.”

“Who listens to an entire album all the way through,” you complain. “Fine, what do you want to listen to? And it can’t be angsty. I want to have a nice morning.”

“Oh come one,” Noah laughs, “Evanescence is unmatched.”

You scrunch your mouth in thought even as you bob your head in agreement. “It does have to be good to be meme worthy. But also, like what emo preteen didn’t have a big fat crush on Amy Lee.”

“I remember you being obsessed with daredevil,” Noah reminisces.

“Hey,” you point out, looking up from the list of classes, “I was obsessed with elektra. Get your facts straight.”

Noah laughs, floating up to sit by you on the couch because he might look like he used too but he was still more ghost than living breathing person, “like that makes it better.”

You smile nostalgically, your knees bouncing with delight as you abandoned the pretense of school to talk with Noah: an easy choice. “You remember when me and Jane would pretend to be elektra and catwoman?”

He snorts, shaking his head with amusement, hands resting on his knees even as he leans in closer to you, “I remember you two would chase me around the house with a stick.”

“It was a knife man,” you say between laughs, “you’ve got to use,” you raise your hands to mimic spongebob, creating a rainbow shape, “you’re imagination.”

He brushes strands of auburn hair from his eyes, and the action strikes a chord in your heart that makes you wish more than anything you could reach out and touch him.

But he’s intangible.

You shove that thought down, focusing instead of enjoying this moment with him. “How about Florence and the Machine?”

“Why are you always shooting down my ideas,” Noah huffs, smiling too softly as he gazes at you to truly be hurt or annoyed.

“You made us listen to Nickelback last time!”

He shrugs shamelessly, “Nickelback is unmatched performance art. And I stand by that statement.”

You shake your head, wracked with laughter until you feel pinpricks of tears in your eyes because this boy! It always came back to Noah and how easily he was able to tease a lightness out of you that you thought you’d lost forever after the night of the school dance.

“Gorillaz?”

He hums in thought, “Demon days.”

You scroll through spotify easily enough. That album was among your top played.

You keep the volume low because you are a certified adult and it's morning and you don’t want a racket this early in the morning. Well, noon, but that was early for you. Okay, so you were only sort of an adult, but you could make pasta without burning anything so baby steps.

“Hey,” Noah asks gently.

You look up, only to find him having shifted closer to you. If Noah could breathe, you’d no doubt be able to feel the warmth of his breath, but you’ll settle for his soothing presence that takes the sting from your perpetual chill. He’s leaning forward and his hand hovers above the skin of your cheek and you don’t dare to lean into his touch no matter how much you yearn to feel the touch of his skin that you know you won’t get because he’s not tangible.

So you lock eyes with him, holding your breath, gut clenching in anticipation.

Noah parts his lips as if to speak, but utters nothing. He closes his mouth again, letting the silence press on.

It might all be in your head, but you swear you can feel the warmth of his hand against your skin. His thumb rubs circles you can’t feel against your cheek.

He leans forward, his forehead resting against yours. Your eyes flutter shut, a sigh escaping your lips at the close contact. There’s a deep well of longing for more than can ever be possible between you and Noah at the base of your throat.

It’s easy to forget, but Noah’s dead.

He died and he’s here but not in the same way you’re part of this world.

A breeze passes over the swell of your mouth, and you slowly open your eyes, heart lodged in your throat.

Noah’s shifted his hold down to your jaw, sitting up on his knees as he leans towards you like a sunflower grows towards the sun, his thumb brushing over your mouth. And you wish more than anything that you could kiss him.

It’s always strange to look into his eyes, expecting a soft hazelnut hue, and seeing an inhuman vibrant blue of an electrical shortage.

“I’m glad it's you,” Noah whispers softly, his voice as gentle as a summer breeze.

It’s enough to break your heart all over again. “I’m just happy you’re here,” you say, painfully aware of the tears forming in your eyes. He was the choice you made over and over again because you’d take whatever Noah had to offer.

“If-,” he utters carefully, “if I could, I would kiss you right now.”

“I’d let you.”

His eyes reflect the same heart wrenching pain of knowing that anything more between you two just wasn’t in the cards.

You summoned the courage to lift your hand to cup his jaw, mindful to hover just over the space where his body should be, guided by the spectral blue outline. There’s nothing but air under your fingers.

Noah, forever out of your reach.

There’s a reason you try not to think about this situation too hard.

There’s no happy ending to be found here.

One second, Noah’s intertwined with you.

Within the span of a blink, he’s gone.

Disappeared.

Right, he’s a ghost, he can do that.

You walk through a trail behind your house. The suns still high in the sky and the anxiety is manageable with Noah goofing off along with you as you complain about having to take biology as a english major and the fact no one in your group for political science did any work but you and this international student from Malaysia which you couldn’t point to if someone held a gun to your head. The dumb american sterotype held true for you when it came to geography.

The woods don’t seem as menacing anymore.

“Malaysia’s in southeast asia,” Noah offers.

“How do you know that?”

Noah shrugs, “I wanted to travel. Go anywhere but Westchester.”

You frown. He’d never get to leave now. “Really? I just wanted to go to disney world,” you reply because it was true and you knew it would make him laugh.

He snorts, shaking his head, “you’re so basic.”

“Shut up!” You cry out, smiling easily. “My parents had a conference in disneyworld one year. And after that Disney would send us vacation information and videos back when VHS and DVDs were a thing. It just seemed. . .I know it's a tourist trap but everyone seemed really happy and I’d wanted the videos a lot on the weekends.” You admit, looking down at your sneakers. It seems silly when Noah knows what your family is like, what your perpetually absent parents are like, but you still feel a sense of shame at admitting that your parents never prioritized you.

They were more than happy to have you spend the night with Noah and Jane if that meant not having to take care of you, back when they still flew back to Westchester.

“Disney in Japan’s better,” Noah quips, “and you don’t even have to step foot in florida to go there.”

“Yeah,” you giggle, “because we live somewhere better than florida.”

“Much better,” he teases, “we don't have humidity.”

You snort, shaking your head as you continue down the well worn trail.

“Did-can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” you tell him, looking back, and waiting for him to catch up.

Noah floats in front of you, only an inch or two of the ground but it’s fine because no one really goes into the woods here as if there’s some subconscious warning ringing in the prey part of the townspeople’s minds, keeping them away from here. “Did your parents come to your graduation?”

You purse your lips. “No.” And then proceed to make the age old excuses for them. Parent-teacher conference week with your current nanny had been fun. “They were doing research up in Alaska I think. It was the only time of the year for some fish species. . .And Now I don’t really need them.” You think they’re in Antarctica, but you can never be sure. They're very hands off and don’t call except for christmas trusting that if you need anything, you’d call them.

Noah’s eyes flash red, and for a second, he loses control over his appearance. He’s an angry storm of shadows.

It speaks to the fact that for over a year now, he’s been your main companion that you don’t even flinch, just wait for him to calm down.

“It’s whatever,” you shrug, used to being on your own, “I had our whole group and Ava invited me along to her graduation potluck.”

“It’s not whatever,” Noah snarls, having regained his spectral blue form complete with his signature beanie. “They’re your parents.” His outburst sends the birds flying out of the trees, far away from him.

“Yeah, well,” you shrug, “we don’t exactly have great parents.” Noah’s had been okay if tense before the accident with Jane.

Noah frowns deeply, still seething. When he got into a mood, he could spend days mulling it over, working himself into a whole downward spiral of dark thoughts.

You leave him to his brooding as you make your way back to your house, hands in your jacket pocket: your old leather jacket for once. You knew what to expect from your parents and that was an allowance and a phone call at christmas. Not even almost dying had caused them to fly home and check on you.

The backdoor is open.

You know you'd closed it when you left. Having your own personal ghost hadn't made you sloppy.

You share a glance with Noah before calling out. “Hello?” It could just be Ava pulling a mean prank on you, but she had blatantly refused to come to your house as long as Noah was lingering around. It was a pointless stance when Noah could really wander freely around Westchester and often did. You sensed him around town sometimes when you were in class even if you couldn't see him.

“Oh you're finally back,” Lily says, calling out from your kitchen.

Wait, Lily! Wasn't she supposed to be in California?

“I told you we should've let them know,” Stacey cries out from inside, shrill voice carrying.

Oh! Were they all here.

You step inside excitedly, Noah following suit, still scowling.

He'd eventually get over the thing with your parents. You had.

“What are you all doing here,” you ask, taking in the sight of your friends spread out in your house. It was a tighter fit than your childhood home, but it felt more like a home than that house ever had. Even Toms here on the couch exchanging notes with Ava.

“Friendsgiving,” Lily offers.

You'd forgotten that's why you had the week off from school. It had slipped your mind after years of not doing anything for this holiday. “I thought we were against Thanksgiving?” You feel touched and surprised and happy.

“Oh we are. It's all a bunch of government propaganda,” Lucas says pushing his glasses up, “but we're all in town for the week so. . .”

You smile.

And then Stacey spots Noah lingering by the backdoor.

“You,” she yells, her entire face flushing red.

Noah, who's dick-ish tendencies you're well aware of, proceeds to smirk which only pisses Stacey off more and has Lucas rising to his feet, fueled by the same anger as Stacey. “Me,” he smirks.

Stacey lobs the nearest thing she can find, a plate you'd bought at Ikea a year ago, at him.

Ava looks really pleased with herself.

Noah dodges even though it would've gone right through him.

The plate shatters against the doorframe.

He totally could've caught that. He could've saved your plate.

“Missed Stace,” Noah cackles.

Your friend turns even redder, before grabbing the vase on the table and aiming for Noah once again.

Ava smothers a laugh on the couch.

Lucas is starting to look like he wants in on the action.

Lily looks uncomfortable in the middle of the action. Like she's rather not deal with it which has been your friends m.o. for the last few months. They don't ask about Noah's and you don't bring him up. It'll save Andy an ulcer in the long run.

The vase shatters as it hits the wall, Noah having stepped out of the way in time.

Stacey eyes your favorite black mug emblazoned the sanderson sisters museum, and you know you have to step in.

She's hoisting the mug trying to get a clean shot, not caring that she just spilled half a mug full of water on your floor, when you step in between her and Noah. “Stacey, you're never going to hit him!”

“I don't care,” she snarls furiously. “He tried to kill us!”

“He didn't know,” you defend Noah. Because saying it's been two years wouldn't work. You can't force anyone to forgive him.

“You can't be serious,” Lucas says shaking his head. “After what he did.”

“He was just trying to help Jane. It's not his fault that the power corrupted his sister to the point she would try to kill us!” In the late sleepless nights, you'd thought about Jane and finally gotten that ghost to rest. What else had there been to think about alone and sobbing in the dead of the night, curled up like a bear hibernating for winter.

“I can't believe you're defending him!” Stacey yells.

You cross your arms over your chest, staring her down.

Lily tilts her head, glancing behind you at Noah, “I didn't know you could look like. . .you.”

“Yeah,” he deadpans, raising his arms to do jazz hands. “Ta-da.”

“It's a new development,” you offer through clenched teeth, still busy staring down Lucas and Stacey, who still has your mug in her hand.

“He learned it from our lake monster,” Tom adds, looking through your vinyls. “Man you've got to get some older stuff and not just what urban outfitter’s selling.”

You frown. “What's wrong with Lana Del Rey?”

“You just need more variety,” Tom councils.

“I told you,” Noah says with an annoyingly charming smirk. He pats your shoulder with his hand even though it goes right through the layers of clothes that you're bundled up in.

You roll your eyes.

“No,” Lucas says, head in his hands, “we’re not doing this. We’re not acting like everything's fine,” he manages through a clenched jaw.

You raise a brow at your friends. Stacey’s still visibly pissed. Ava has her own arms crossed over her chest, but resigned since she's had more time to process. Andy's sneaking a slice of pumpkin pie as the drama unfolds.

Lily won't meet your gaze.

Dan looks like he wants to speak up, but he doesn't and you understand because it's a lot to forgive let alone forget for long enough to sit down to a friendsgiving when Noah can't even eat food anymore and instead goes around pestering you to make meals from scratch.

“It's fine,” Noah says quietly. “I can just go.”

“You do that,” Stacey replies bitingly.

“Noah you-,” you turn to protest. But he's gone.

You swallow your words, looking at your friends. “So are we making or just reheating,” because you love your friends as much as you love Noah. It's why it feels like your heart’s being torn in half.

“A bit of both,” Tom says, “nothing complex.”

“Britney said she's on her way now,” Lily adds. “hope you don't mind. She's bringing Jocelyn since Jocelyn's friends with Tom.”

Your eye twitches. It's unfair that they can have you the two girls who bullied you all for years to the point you got bruises and Lily would skip class to cry in the bathroom but you can't have Noah here when he only tried to kill you all once on accident.

“We might have to use my desk chair and the couch but I think we can make it work,” you say instead of picking a fight.

Lily smiles happily and tells you about these cute turkey plates she got from the 99 cent store at the beginning of the month.

Britney's making you all watch Legally Blonde which no one is really mad about.

You've gotten a thick wool blanket because you're starting to shiver with cold and it's not even 11 at night but you're ready to kick them out so Noah'll come back. You're squished in between Tom and Ava which means they spend the entire time talking your ear off about the power and Ava's current witchcraft project which involves lots of dirt, salt, and herbal oils. They lose you and you're not sure what the spell’s supposed to do but Ava does conjure an actual flame from her fingertip.

Dans laughing easily, sitting on the ground by your feet, with Andy and Jocelyn, who's still bitchy but in a more affable way that gets a laugh out of you.

It's a nice night, one of the best you've had in a while with all your friends and now their friends too and you think that it would be easy to be friends for life. It's been two years since that school dance night. You've all kept touch.

But it's just not the same without Noah.

You're probably the only one who thinks that.

The dream is easy to get lost in. You and Noah throwing popcorn at each other instead of paying attention in the dream movie theater. Every time you look up at the screens there's a different movie playing.

At least here Noah is tangible, the popcorn he throws getting tangled in your hair even as you slump in your seat to try and dodge the attacks.

Noah grins mischievously and you don't have time to move before he's dumping the entire bucket of popcorn on your head.

“You're such a dick,” you laugh, beginning the long work of getting popcorn out of your hair. They don't stick in Noah's brown locks.

“It's a dream,” Noah notes, “just imagine them away.”

“Okay,” you try, shutting your eyes and imagining your hair a lavender purple shade.

You open your eyes and sure enough the popcorns gone. “Kind of digging how dreams work.”

“There's some nice things about them,” Noah agrees.

“Oh yeah like what?”

“Like this,” Noah grins smugly before leaning in and-

“Get up,” Ava snaps gleefully, as she pounces on you in bed.

“Wha-”

“Hurry up,” she repeats as you blink, trying to get your bearings.

“How did you get in here?” You ask, shoving her off you.

“Door,” she shrugs, “I found a spell to unlock locks. Where's your boyfriend?”

“My what!” You feel heat rise to your cheeks as you rush to change into a pair of jeans. Maybe a cleaner sweater too.

Ava rolls her eyes. “Your boyfriend. Noah? You're not shivering so he can't be far.”

She grabs your hand as soon as you pull your sweater over your head and drags you out of your room. Tom, Andy, and Dan are loitering around the living room.

After graduating, Andy and Dan have both decided to go to the local university. You knew it had to do with Tom and his whole research into the power even as Ava was planning a semester abroad because she firmly believed that there was more supernatural occurrences in the world.

You close your eyes focusing on Noah. “He's on his way,” you confirm, sending him in the woods near your house. When you both entered the dreamworld, Noah more often than not ended up in the ruins.

You took his word for it.

You didn't plan on ever stepping foot in those ruins again.

“I mean,” Ava laughs humorlessly, “I always thought I was the winona ryder of our group but you're an actual monster fucker so you've got me beat by a mile.”

You can only look at her with alarm, aware your mouth was just hanging open in surprise.

“Please don't say that shit,” Andy groans. “It's bad enough knowing that asshole’s doing fine and dandy not facing punishment.” He says as if Noah didn't die.

“I'm-what, what's going on here?” You look around at your friends.

They exchange glances as Noah appears, back resting against the wall looking too cool for school in his usual disaffected way, hands in his pockets.

Andy sighs, before speaking up, “Tom, I think you should-”

“No,” Ava shakes her head, “I can explain it.”

Tom raises a brow.

She nods. “I'm chill.”

“You've never been chill in your life but go on,” Andy teases.

Ava's expression softens, the guarded rage that simmered in the lines around her frown disappear as she looks at you and Noah. “I think I know how to bring Noah back.”

You swallow, “How-how is that even possible,” because you and Noah have never mentioned the fact that he's dead but he is. You watched him die.

“Ava,” Noah says, long having resigned himself to this partial existence, “even the power can't bring the dead back to life. Just look at the zombie animals. They're not really alive.”

Dan does a little, continue on, hand motion directed at her.

“Well, that's the thing,” she says, locking eyes with Noah, “I don't think you're dead.”

Noah’s expression is stone cold as he outstretches his arms out wide. Which like right, he was literally a ghost right now.

“Yeah,” Ava nods, “I can see that. But, it fits. I first started working on this theory when they mentioned they could sense you, and then there's the fact,” she looks at you now, “you're always cold. And not just you need a jacket cold but cold in the summer heat even with three layers, as if your body was-”

“Dying,” Noah utters aloud.

She nods, looking over at Tom.

He clears his throat, “when people get absorbed into the power, their memories don't last but you remember things pretty well.”

The corners of Noah's mouth lift up, a small smile on his lips. “Well I can't take the credit for that,” he says meeting your eyes.

“Somehow,” Ava says carefully to Noah, “down in the ruins, you two tied your lives together. That’s why you're still yourself and why they're always freezing cold. Because your body is still down in the ruins and I'm willing to bet it's frozen in the same state since that night.”

“Speak for yourself,” Andy scowls, “I'm not stepping foot in the ruins.”

“Redfield isn't there anymore,” Noah frowns.

“Yeah well,” Andy bites back, “I don't trust you.”

That shuts Noah up.

“And how. . .,” you start to ask as hope fills your chest even as you try to be careful because you saw Noah die and now Ava was bringing you a shot in the dark. “How would that work exactly?”

Ava shrugs. “First we have to go to the ruins. See if I'm right and then-”

“She doesn't know,” Noah states. “But I think it's worth a shot.”

“I'm going to wait with Andy out here,” Dan states, fingers wrapped tightly around the baseball bat with wire you'd kept since that school year.

“Yeah, sure,” you nod, wrapping him in a quick hug because he probably had the worst time of you all here and yet he'd still come along.

He hugs you back before you make your way to Tom and Ava are both bickering over some obscure text that might or might not be true: Noah sits on the crumbling step that marks the entrance to the ruins, deceivingly calm. It's the first time you've been here since that night.

You remind yourself there's nothing to fear. Just Noah and you're not scared of him.

“Well then,” Tom motions you first.

Noah rolls his eyes, “if I wanted to kill you I could do it without luring you down there.”

Ava twists her mouth, expression furious.

You go to smack his shoulder, your hand passing right through him and hitting the stone wall. “Shit,” you grumble, rubbing your knuckles.

Noah sniggers, not the slightest bit apologetic.

Ava gives you a look that can be best summed up as him?

You shrug. It's not like you planned on being helplessly in love with Noah Marshall, you just were.

Noah goes down first, his form glowing brightly for your benefit, as you follow closely behind him.

Tom and Ava wait a second before following you down. So they were using you as a test.

The ruins are just as dark and awful as you remember. Rocks slick with water that drips down from the roof. You pay close attention where you step, not wanting to break a leg down here, as you enter the chamber where the creature-that-had-been-Jane forced you to play are you scared.

The chairs are still tossed around the room that maybe was a basement once, or maybe it just reminded you of the idea of a basement, but it's the body lying in the floor that takes your breath away. Noah, exactly the way you'd last send him, covered in dirt and grime, absolutely no color in his skin. There was no rise and fall in his chest, and his lips were tinged blue.

Tom shines his light over Noah's prone body. “Well he's definitely preserved, there's no rotting smell.”

“Try not to talk about me like I'm a piece of meat,” Noah says, lingering next to you, his shoulder brushing against yours (or coming close to the feeling).

You look up at him, trying to gauge his reaction, but his expression is carefully blank. You turn to Ava, “what do you need me to do?”

Ava looks from you to Noah, “I'm not sure. There's not exactly an instruction manual but, you should be able to draw him out from the power.”

“Bet that goes both ways,” Noah utters grimly.

Tom nods.

“So I could just as easily get caught up down here?”

Ava nods sternly, “but that's not going to happen.”

Noah looks at you, shaking his head, “we shouldn't risk it.”

“What! No,” you shake your head, feeling warmth in your fingers for the first time in years. You reach for him, not caring that your fingers pass right through. It's the thought that counts and you've had millions of thoughts centered around Noah.

“What if you end up like me,” Noah says, voice cracking.

You swallow thickly, “you can't think like that.”

“It is a lot to risk,” Tom points out gently.

You bite your lip, eyes tearing up, “I know.”

“Well I'm not,” Noah counters, crossing his arms over his chest, eyes glowing an infernal red as he makes his point. “It's my body after all.”

“Noah-,” you start.

“I'm not risking you.”

Ava fake gags, making you turn towards her, crouched over Noah's body with Tom all while taking down notes. When she knows she has the attention of you both, she smirks, “monster. fucker.”

Noah snorts.

“Don't worry Ava,” you joke, “you're still that very witch.”

“Damn right I am,” she grins.

“Should we. . .,” Tom says, scratching his chin in thought. “They're movies but still. . .”

“Maybe it has to just be them two,” Ava posits at Tom, “like it was last time.”

“Maybe. . .”

“So we’re doing this then?”

Ava's about to say something when she catches the death glare Noah's sending her. “How about you two decide that before we start trying anything.” She drags Tom up the stairs.

“Forget it,” Noah huffs, “I refuse to risk you.”

“I want to!” You cry out, “I want to help you and now I have the chance to.”

“Trust me. You don't want to be a monster.”

“You're not a monster,” you counter, squaring up against Noah.

He scowls before shifting into a mass of shadows, eyes a blazing wildfire burning though acres of bush land. He always had to have the last word.

“You're not a monster,” you repeat, still right by him, whether he was shadows or a specter he was Noah and that was all that mattered to you. “You've never been a monster. You've never hurt anyone. You helped out with the lake ghost. You've kept me company. It doesn't matter what form you take, to me, your Noah Marshall and that's all I really care about.” The tears fall down your cheeks freely now, even as you sniffle, soft smile on your lips as Noah calms down.

Fading from red to white to blue, until he's once more wearing the stupid beanie that you teased him about. Even death couldn't make him give up the beanie.

“You really would, wouldn't you,” he says in awe, “stay. Even if this doesn't work.” As if he couldn't wrap his head around the idea that he was that precious to anyone.

You nod. Not trusting your voice.

There's a tenderness in his expression that fills your chest with warmth as he closes the distance between you, careful, as he presses his insubstantial lips against yours and you've never felt this crazy about anyone before: never felt sure about anything like you know that if someone cracked your chest open, his name would be written on your heart.

You're not scared as darkness blots out the light of the chamber.

Darkness descends until you can't see a thing.

Noah holds your hand as you walk through the cemetery. His thumb rubbing circles into the back of your hand as you lead the way to where his tombstone is.

“Your so dumb,” you mutter for the thousandth time. Stacy's mom had graciously helped with spinning the whole Noah's actually alive story, but his mom was long gone leaving behind a tombstone for her two kids.

“It's hilarious,” he says nonchalantly even though you know he fidgeted the whole car drive here.

“Tom said to keep your nose down.”

“Tom has a stick up his ass.”

You smack his shoulder lightly, “be nice. I like Tom.”

“I never said I didn't like Tom,” he frowns, and if you didn't know him as well as you do, you'd believe the serious expression in his furrowed brow.

“You're such a dick,” you shake your head with a laugh.

Noah snorts, “I'm perfectly nice.”

“Who told you that lie!”

He pulls you in close, letting go of your hand to wrap his arm around your waist, “Lily thinks so.”

“please,” you counter, “if someone asked Lily to help them find their missing puppy she'd help them.”

Noah wags his finger, “now who's being a dick.”

You burst out laughing, still in amazement that Noah was here in the flesh and blood and you were never going to tire of simple things like holding his hand or having his arm around you as you walk.

Neither of you nor Noah were hopeless romantics or sappy people, but having been put through the ringer to so much as kiss, holding hands had become an unspoken agreement when you went grocery shopping or drove over to visit Tom as you finally took him up on the offer to learn how to swim.

You halt in front of his grave.

Noah Marshall.

1999-2018

It's simple. It's impersonal.

You hate it.

Noah doesn't waste a second, opening up the camera app on his phone. and taking a selfy in front of his own tombstone. “Get in the picture!”

You shake your head with a giggle, “okay, okay, just one,” and you snuggle up to him, pulling a funny face as he gets the inscription in the selfy.

“Guess this is goodbye to Westchester then,” he says out loud.

“I guess so,” you nod, peering out into the surrounding woods.

Noah leans in, kissing your cheek, “can't say I'll miss it. Not when I'm taking the best thing in this town with me.”

Your cheeks burn red. But the way the words melt your heart doesn't make you pull a punch. “You're such a nerd beanie boy.”

“Oh shut up,” Noah laughs, pink dusting his cheekbones.

There was no doubt about it. This was love.

#it lives in the woods #noah marshall #ilitw noah #noah x mc #nothings going to take you from my side #mine #ava figures it out #dan realizes mc is in love with noah before noah realizes hes in love w mc #earn your happy ending #and #domestic monster fluff i guess

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