#it’s 2am but I’m thinking about it.

[wordstome]

SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED A BIG TALL GUY WHO GOES “!!! 😳” WHEN YOU FLIRT WITH HIM OKAY. SORRY FOR HAVING GOOD TASTE!!!!!!

[briefhottubcoffee]

I think Twilight/Loid Forger (or whatever his birth name is) is a huge romantic. I think he truly believes in love, true undying love, soul mates, family, permanence, etc. he’s just convinced himself that he isn’t capable of love or doesn’t need love because, sadly, he believes he doesn’t deserve all those things. He can’t be happy, he can’t be at peace. He has to work endlessly to save the world. He’s punishing himself by denying himself true love, happiness, and permanence (he really, really wants these things)

So what’s happening in the story is, he finds Anya and feels himself loving her and being her father, and he loves it, he loves being her dad. But he can’t have a daughter, he needs to create world peace. So he pushes back and fights against all these happy feelings.

And with Yor it’s even worse. He could be falling in love with her, true love, and he’s blown off his feet. I don’t think he’s ignorant or oblivious to what he’s feeling for her at all. Like we laugh at him and make fun of him because he’s an obtuse, oblivious spyman. But he’s actually well aware that it’s love, but he’s denying himself. Because he believes being in love with his wife, and raising a daughter with her, and being happy together forever is the most wonderful, precious thing in the world. And it’s not something he is allowed to have.

(I think if anyone is confused and oblivious about what they’re feeling and what it means, it’s actually Yor. Her feelings are more obvious to us, the audience, because she’s allowing herself to feel openly. But she is just now coming to understand that she’s falling in love.)

Like, Twilight secretly loves romantic movies and books and stuff but all along he’s thinking “Oh I’ll never feel this ‘true love’ thing they’re talking about, ima SPY.” But then he meets Yor and it’s an immediate kick in the gut, fly off a cliff, swooning music when she walks in the room, I finally belong somewhere feeling. And in the story right now we’re seeing him go through the “Oh fuck no there’s no way this can’t be happening I can’t love her I’m supposed to love spying and the shadows and being alone forever”

I mean come on, this guy right here loves romance. He loves dates with his wife. He loves love. He is trying to create a world where children don’t cry and the world is at peace and everyone is happy and in love. Except himself. He’s the sacrifice.

This right here is Twilight indulging himself. Feeling that true love feeling and relishing in it, like soaking in the sun. But then he takes two giant steps back and distances himself from her, and shuts himself off from his family. They all suffer because of it. It’s like he’s torturing himself and unknowingly hurting her in the process.

I think what needs to happen in the story eventually is his acceptance. He’s in love with her, he loves his daughter. He’s allowed to keep them and openly love them forever. He deserves it.

[theythemmer]

phinktober day 10: sister daniel and father philip 🙏🏻

[wooshofficial]

I’ve been ruminating on this last garages album for a bit, and wondering why I haven’t been sad.

For anyone unaware: The Garages released the last album of the “we are the garages” series, titled We’ve Been The Garages, as our last album before the release of Expansion and the simmering shutdown of the band as we knew it.

I had a huge hand in this album. I wrote two songs for it—one old, one new—and helped on two others. I helped with tracklisting. I put a lot of emotion + energy + work into this, and now that it’s out, I’m left with this feeling of pride and joy.

But from reactions here on tumblr and by friends, it’s clear that feeling just pride is a singularity. A lot of people are grieving the terminal loss of the band and at large, the shocking, sudden loss of Blaseball, the game that started it all. People are left with a hole where it used to be, and it is making them rightfully very sad. I’ve gone through these same experiences with them, so I should be sad, right? Hell, I’m a part of the band that’s ending- I should be distraught. I should be grieving, it feels like.

But I’m not. I can’t find it within myself to be sad about this release, nor can I be sad about the loss of Blaseball, nor that I have to do other things now. This is because of two reasons, one of which is more important than the other:

I’ve always been terrible at handling grief in a healthy or normal way (unimportant)

I have a very different mindset about this particular ending.

For me, this album isn’t a death. This is a graduation.

I’ve known for a long time that Blaseball was finite. It was born of an era that existed only because it had to, and once that era was over, so was the game. TGB put it best when they shut it down- it was unsustainable now that the pandemic had been societally declared over. Blaseball was built in the absence of a thing that was now back, and no one could dedicate their full time to it anymore now that they weren’t locked in their houses indefinitely. When I heard the news, I had a flash of anger on how it ended, but it was quickly replaced by a resolute feeling of knowing this was going to happen eventually. It was always going to end, and it’s a shame that it did so in this way, but it had to. I wasn’t sad about it.

And with the death of Blaseball came the death of the thing that had been the Garages’ muse for so long. How long could a thing last without life support, especially when we, the people behind the band, were subject to the same situation of being needed somewhere else? The Garages’ end was going to follow Blaseball’s eventually, even if it took nearly two years to do so. I knew this and understood this deeply.

I also knew that the end of the band wasn’t going to suddenly kill the bonds I had made with my bandmates, people I have the honor to call friends, best friends and colleagues. None of us were suddenly going to drop dead (knock on wood, you bitches better survive), we were just going to stand there after the lights went out and say “now what?”. There was always going to be an end, but there was also always going to be an after.

A graduation is not a funeral. You can grieve the fact that it’s over, but really, you are meant to reflect on the wonderful (or horrible) things that have occurred in the time since you’ve started. Take all the good and the bad and the deeply complex and turn it into fuel for the new you’re about to step into. Understand just how far you’ve gotten since that initial point, and maybe see how far you can go.

I graduated high school in June 2022, about 10 months into my being a part of the band. They were among the first people I told I was going to college and that I had just thrown my cap. It rained that day, and the venue was outdoors, and I had food poisoning, but when I threw that cap, I wasn’t upset at any of that. I wasn’t upset that high school was over (for a plethora of reasons), nor was I sad that I was going into a new part of my life. I was actually thinking about my graduation cap itself, and how hard I had worked on it the night before, painstakingly painting it and making sure it was perfect. I was so happy that I had done the damn thing, and it had gotten a moment to glimmer in the air, even if a little smeared due to the rain. I walked out of there that day so proud of myself for making it through and making that cap.

And almost ironically, the words I had painted were “I’ll figure it out eventually”. I didn’t know entirely what I was going to do after high school besides go to college, or what I wanted to get a job in, I just knew that there was going to be something there. I knew that I would keep going. All I had to say was “now what?”, because this was an end, yes, but there was always going to be an after.

I don’t know what the band will become after we release the last of our stored works. We have some ideas. We don’t know what our legacy will look like in a year, or five, or ten, or fifty. We don’t know what’s coming for us, but we’ll figure it out eventually. There’s always an after, and we will make it ours.

And I’m not sad about that.

[squaredbean]

Do you think. That once Fit gets back and Pac is more than overjoyed to see him, that Pac just has to say it. He doesn’t care if Fit isn’t ready to hear it; if Pac doesn’t tell him that he loves him and Fit disappears again he’ll never be able to live with himself knowing that Fit never heard those words come out of his mouth in any language. Do you think he’s sobbing as he says it, switching almost incomprehensibly through languages but his tone and body language is clear to Fit because he has the exact same thing on his mind. They understand each other and they’re both just crying but it’s so clear and they feel awful and terrible but so, so loved. And Fit tries to tell Pac about all the horrors he faced from Madagio and how fucked up he is and Pac just doesn’t care because He Loves Him No Matter What. Pac feels for him because he knows part of what he’s been through and he knows that both of them have done fucked up shit But He Loves Him Anyway.

I’m pushing them together like two beat up action figures

[pettson]

joel missing tess in jackson.

joel learning how to live alone without his partner for the first time in almost 20 years.

joel sleeping alone in a bed for the first time in almost 20 years.

joel still sleeping on his side of the bed even though the space next to him is empty.

joel talking to her when he’s alone in his house.

joel sitting on his porch plucking on his guitar and playing her favourite song and it almost feels like she’s there in the chair next to him.

joel at a dance absolutely not dancing, imagining how tess would’ve dragged him up on the dance floor

joel missing tess in jackson ;_;

[patisnothome]

I just want to say that Stan regaining his memory was already set up with the society of the blind eye episode; watching McGucket regain his memories already set the precedent that it’s possible to get them back through external sources. (Such as Mabel’s scrapbook)

[javierduffy]

just a few javieran horse headcanons because i like them a normal amount

branwen

- tall AND fat. kieran makes sure he’s always fed (maybe even accidentally a teensy bit overfed. just because kieran can’t help but indulge him when he butts him with his head or nuzzles at his pockets when he knows there’s treats in there. but never too much because ‘obesity is a problem, even in animals !’). probably about 17hh, taller than average for a kentucky saddler but nothing too big. especially since kieran himself is quite tall

- VERY well-tempered, both naturally, as well as because kieran has literally made him bulletproof. bagged him, blanketed him, stood, jumped, backflipped onto and off of him. this kindly gentleman of a horse only spooks when he wants to be bratty specifically.

- i think he’s about 6 or so, came from the stables kieran worked at after being orphaned, he was just a colt when kieran was just a kid. kieran learned how to birth foals quickly, and branwen happened to be one of them. with the way that they fell in love with each other and the way that branwen whinnied and pranced up to the fence when kieran came back to buy him after the army didn’t work out, you’d think that horse was born just for him.

- his favourite treats, in order, are rutabaga (kieran’s secret for branwen’s glossy coat. also why he’s kinda fat.), boiled potatoes mixed into his oats, apples, and fresh greens. he’s simultaneously incredibly easy to please because of the simplicity of the latter parts of his favourites list and also very needy and complicated because kieran so loves to make his pony happy with his absolute favourite treats, so he tries his very best to get branwen’s eccentric tastes pleased once falling into the VDL’s.

- i always say “a horse’s favourite thing to do is hurt itself”, and i think this statement holds relatively true for branwen as well, though there’s a 25% chance that he’s actually hurt, a 50% chance that he’s only mildly injured or spooked and he’s playing it up to get kieran to dote on him, and a 25% chance that he will protect kieran with his life when they’re in a dire situation (see: snake on the ground or gunfire nearby. or even god forbid a spare tumbleweed find it’s way rolling nearby.) despite kieran’s last wish being his horse getting injured. branwen thinks that he’s gotta be The Man and protect his dad sometimes. it does not help in any situation ever whatsoever.

- branwen is the PERFECT companion for a trail riding date. he’s settled, calm, has a great gait, and as a gelding, truly is not worried about other horses being “faster” than him, so he never gets rowdy nor has any problems when partner riders/horses crowd him. kieran is allowed to ask for as many kisses as he pleases because branwen will never jump when javier’s gold-tipped boots poke him in the side and boaz irritatedly flicks his flank with his tail. truly a goated wingman. also never complains about long rides, and enjoys being out of camp with his rider for as much as physically possible for both of them, so he’s never barnsour in either direction.

boaz

- as an american paint, he’s naturally short and stocky. saddle ends up being a bit loose, though, as javier isn’t as dedicated to keeping him perfectly fed or groomed. he loves him, sure, but horses are somewhat of tools to him, so he kinda does slightly more than bare minimum to keep him kempt and healthy. around 14.5hh, slightly shorter than average and quite dense with muscle

- temperamentally a bit volatile. this horse has just as much drama as his rider, if not a little more. doesn’t like something ? ridden too long ? that stick looks too much like a snake ? hasn’t spent enough time with kieran that day ? he will snort and grunt and bunny hop if javi isn’t on him, and shudder hard enough the saddle shakes underneath him if he is. boaz likes to please his rider, but he also demands pleasure himself, and has no issue with “accidentally” placing a hoof on his owners nice, intentionally clean boots, and subsequently slowly leaning more and more of his weight onto it when he doesn’t immediately get what he wants. bratty pony. generally, he keeps javier safe, though, when it comes down to it.

- around 5 years old. after dutch found javier trying to steal chickens the first time they met, he soon took him back to that ranch and their first take as gang leader and member was a 1 year old grey paint colt for javi to train and subsequently ride. until he was rideable, javier rode a morgan that was formerly hosea’s, named carolina, while he lead boaz everywhere behind him.

- favourite treats, in order, are corn cobs (especially dried), prickly pear fruit AND cactus, sugar cubes, and sliced apples. will force javier to share his maiz with him. javier has always sliced his apples up since he was a colt, not only because javi simply finds comfort in toying with his knife, but also because boaz will not eat them otherwise. javi will also cut all of the spines off of the cactus before letting boaz eat them.

- in terms of injury, boaz is the most dramatic tank on the planet. this horse could arthur morgan-style run face first into a tree and then fall off a cliff and walk it off. but not before he gimps and limps and whines and teeth grinds his way into javier leading him instead of riding him for the next mile or two. once kieran started taking care of him, there is also a 25% chance of boaz faking a terribly painful injury just to get kieran to dote on him.

- kinda the worst wingman ever LMFAO easily annoyed, easily aroused, easily offended, and as a stallion, HAS to walk in front of the “herd” (his rider’s boyfriend and his horse). pins his ears back, smashes into personal space, flicks branwen with his tail (and preferably kieran, if he can reach him) even sometimes will nip at branwen if the latter tries to calmly make this date a date and not a life or death race (whoever loses, their dad is gay) and walk side-by-side to aid their riders’ hand holdings. will make executive decisions via stopping or veering off for fresh green grass beside the trail, will at points actively attempt to shudder javier out of his saddle (has succeeded once when javi was distracted by a story being excitedly told by kieran), and will also spook and take off running so fast javier thinks it must have broken his neck from the velocity. generally makes trail rides a living hell, but kieran finds it charming, and it makes for some cute shoujo-style “omg … *reaches out to help you up after your horse bucks you off because he saw a log that looked nothing at all and everything like a cougar and pink and white soft bubbles surround me* are you okay ? here, let me help.” moments. maybe some day boaz will be allowed off of the national american terrorist list written by javier “rizzless rider” escuella

ok im tired and that’s all i can think of please enjoy and feel free to contribute 👍 i love them so bad im gona cry

[cyncerity]

Karlnapity doodles??? 🥺 The bbs <3

YES YES YES MY BOYS MY BOYSSSS

TY SQUISHY I WILL TAKE ANY AND EVERY EXCUSE TO BE ABLE TO DRAW THESE THREE THEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME

ok so i kinda went crazy here cause it’s almost 2 am and i said “hey there’s an idea i’ve had for going on 3 years that i keep saying i’ll animate and never do.” so i finally did.

this is for a very very old au, it’s actually the first au on this blog and has 1 story; which is karlnapity. I won’t go into all the lore and stuff but i’ll link that story here for those of you who weren’t here in 2021, it’s how they ended up together in this au <3. Basis is Sapnap is a human, Quackity is an avian, and Karl is an Ermine hybrid borrower.

[barkilphedros-hat]

What if I said Paul and Emma were Orpheus and Eurydice coded BUT Pokey and Paul were Hades and Persephone? Hmm? What then??

[luna-the-cretar]

So it’s like 2am, and I did that thing where you absolutely have to google something right as you’re falling asleep, and I wanted to know if bugbears have tails or not (bc I like to envision Torbek with a small little tail that’s hidden under the coat) and like. Why are people so pressed about whether or not a random race should or shouldn’t have a tail? Like, it’s literally just a flavor thing, what’s the big deal?

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

it doesn’t matter what they’re doing… they’re guaranteed to serve… and i mean more than whatever attempt of a meal that’s in henrique’s hand…

[sweetaspiesammy]

I still can’t believe tom said “id castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat” and then DID

[mooon-beann]

Dude I love Sayian tails so much.

Like I was scrolling earlier and found this particular gif of Raditz and AHHH the way it swishes around is so satisfying??! I love it. ✨

[aroacespacerock]

What do you yall know about the Magnus archi— *stumbles and falls asleep on the ground*