#it would have been unbearable
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Very glad that Suletta wasn't wearing her Holder pilot suit for this
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You know, I was hesitating on getting rid of my Twilight dvds because āwhat if nostalgia,ā but no. Iām two movies in and all I can say is New Moon is at least visually better and I am so so sorry we did this to Kristen and Rob. bleh. Seriously questioning if I was ever an *actual* fan of the movies.
#probably not since I never saw the last one#and my enthusiasm for the books had died but the second movie lmao#very glad I had cross stitch to hold the other half of my attention lmao#it would have been unbearable#I was banned from my phone and the internet this afternoon and though this would be at last semi productive#bec talks#twilight
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I just finished re-watching season 3 with someone who hasn't seen the show before and anyone who thinks Steve was silly for thinking Robin was into him/ should have somehow known she was gay before confessing to her, really needs to rewatch their heart-to-heart scene in the Russian bunker. Robin tells Steve outright that she was obsessed with him (her, not "all girls") and was watching him close enough to still remembers his exact breakfast down to what kind of bagel it was!! Everything she says, down to the insults, sounds like she's bitter about an unrequited crush. Which she is! Just not on him.
My friend knew going in that she was gay and still thought this was a love confession!
So when Steve confesses in the bathroom, it's not baseless or comes out of nowhere: He's acting based on her words, their budding friendship pre-season, and the intimancy they built under the mall.
He has every reason to think he'd have a serious shot at having his feelings returned, which makes how well he reacts to Robin recontextualizing things for him even better imo.
#steve harrington#robin buckley#stobin#it's the difference between taking a shot in the dark and missing#and having the rug of a seemingly sure thing pulled out from under your feet#boy took the second fall with a great amount of grace and stuck the landing#this doesn't even include the fact that Steve wouldn't know how to recognize a queer person because as far as he knows he's never seen one#and Robin wasn't exactly broadcasting it either#if dustin had been there for the bunker scene#he would have been absolutely unbearable about it lmao
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Finding it endlessly hilarious that while we got an absolutely stunning glow-up for Pavitr, we simultaneously got the simplification of E50101-Green Goblin
Like. sure. the armour is cool. orange instead of purple. wonderful embossed details. weirdly angular iconic face. he SCREAMS classic Green Goblin and that's perfectly okay
But COME ON they downgraded him from a literal demon!!!!!! He was literally a 1:1 trans-adaption of E1610-Green Goblin!!!!!! They turned a big hulking BEAST who could throw fire and stuff into a Skinny Old Guy
Nalin Oberoi i will avenge you
#naw i just find it so funny#having the green goblin be a huge terrifying monster would actually WORK in making pavitr look like he's perfected being spider-man#āi fought this huge terrifying demon who was twenty times my size and defeated him in twenty minutes. yeah being spider-man is easyā#LIKE ARE YOU FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS BOY'S EGO COULD HAVE BEEN EVEN MORE UNBEARABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WERE ROBBED#also. lowkey thinking. what if they skipped green goblin entirely and had doc ock instead getting his face bashed in#Double G may be the most iconic but Doc Ock WAS pavitr's first villain. so.#E50101-doctor octopus i will avenge you also#pavitr prabhakar#atsv#spider man india#spider man#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#agnirambles
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oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh
so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.
why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.
and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.
so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.
it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.
like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!
and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns š¤Øš¤Ø why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)
(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days šš)
#man the way its lovely reunion but tjen ajax fucking ATTACKS IT ON SIGHT you couldve gotten married!!!!11!1 fucking unbearable i am in agony#anyway contrary to popular belief we still have no fucking clue whether ajax' link to the narwhal was innate#skirk saying the traces remain on him after meeting it isnt saying tht much. the parts he shares w it couldve well been innate but dormant#instead. also just the fact that he woke it up already shady#then like. monoceros caeli being his from the beginning is completely plausible despite ppl acting like its been confirmed his const change#and like them being halves of the same entity on some lvl would make the narwhal being so weak without him n until ajax found it again#make very much. sense. anyway ajax toxicity jokes aside if the narwhal was just trying to eat him point blank without even a hello#i do get why hed react aggressively. but also bros been telling everyone n their mom hes fighting his narwhal the seconf he finds it againš#so i feel somewhat confident in assuming he started that 40+ days brawl#anyway if ajax Isnt the celestial narwhal on some level or possibly becoming it as their link grows.#riddle me this atheists. why is his 3rd phase boss theme. the song about His individual murderous rage at us#bc he thought he was outplayed by us. His personal wrath#whys the song for that called the wrath of the celestial narwhal. of the star swallowing whale. Hmmmge. his individual rage.#why does tusk of monoceros caeli speak of him embracing the narwhals innate qualities as embracing mere parts of Himself#funny how tjat goes!! (the OST n boss drop is not 100% serious theory but it does drive me insane. bc why would they phrase it like that)#anyway either theyre 2 halves same original entity or theyre soulmates idgaf . they should fold teyvat in half and eat it for brunch#aaand im going to be consumed by this realization for the next month wish me luck#WHY DID IT NEED HIM THERE SO BADLY???? HUH??????#i mean relatable dont we all. but its sooooooooo inch resting. Curious indeed#rambles#genshin#childe#childeposting#narwhalposting
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oh thank god ppl arenāt crucifying me for saying i like it better that darry dropped out of school over just not going at all i feel so vindicated. i think it makes sm more sense for his character andā-
#i WILL be writing a deeply at length tumblr#post about this*#at some point#trust me#it shows his sacrifices and how fucking close he was to getting out of tulsa#and getting rid of the greaser name heās been so ashamed to have attached to him#bc at the end of the story. pony realizes thereās more to him than just grease and#darryās already known that about himself. heās sick of that being ALL heās known for#he wants out and to make a life for himself and he GOT out against all odds#just for life to. well. Life. and then heās pulled back into an opportunity to ask himself#do i sacrifice everything i have worked my entire life for??#do i go back home and say goodbye to this life iāve fought tooth and nail for to keep my brothers in my care or#do i stay and continue on with what ive worked for my entire mf life and#the REAL testament to darryās character is#no matter how much he WANTED to get out. he will never ever let anything be more important to him than his family#itās a no brainer to him to drop out and come back home. no matter how hard things get w his brothers#no matter if he threatens wanting to go back when things get unbearably difficult#he still fucking STAYS!!!!!!!!!#that is darry curtis for you thank you for your time.#holy FUCK i wrote an essay IM SORRY#me at the beginning of the tags: iāll do this someday but not today#me at the end: š§š§š§#would it shock you if i said these werenāt even ALL my thoughts on this topic#the outsiders#darry curtis#outsiders musical
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i donāt know how much understanding emile would have for the endless, tbh. everything about it feels so cruel to himātaking away peopleās memories to spare them pain, taking living people to keep the dead propped up and half-alive in a daydream.
so much about his loss has shaped him into who he is, and though heād love to see his father again, he would never give up the memory of him. he lives on in emile, who fights to make him proud and honor him in all that he doesā¦.
#IDK emile wouldnāt be the wol if his father hadnāt died protecting him#and while part of it was twisted up in vengeance#so much of it was. my father was a good man. i will be too.#that is his blood !!!#nothing you could offer him would make him give that up#iāve been thinking about emilien discussing this too#bc who would estinien be without the memory of his family?#and where would they be without loss bonding them together ?#and i think for emile too. the thought of losing estinien is unbearable#but the thought of forgetting him???#absolutely kills him#ANYWAY#i feel like im a little confused about the whole thing bc like.#logistically it doesnāt make a ton of sense to me#and maybe i missed something#but i feel like the ppl of alexandria would have to know theyāre missing something#or are they really walking around with holes in their memory#not questioning like. hmm guess i never had a father. ??? ?#anywayā¦again !#i think i had this as one of my DT questions in my inbox#but my brain let those go#iāve jus been thinking about this a lot#and now to have coffee o7#ffxiv#dawntrail spoilers#oc: emile jenidaut
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me looking in the mirror at my red rimmed sleepy eyes : omg mash reference <3
#townes talks !!#i already have naturally droopy / sleepy eyes#yāall are SO LUCKY my eyes didnāt stay blue like they were when i was little because i wouldāve been absolutely unbearable if i had#alan alda eyes#like i would never shut the fuck up#mash#mashposting#m*a*s*h#mash 4077#mashblr#hawkeye pierce#hawkeye#dr pierce and mr hyde
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new dragon age game is gonna make me so unreasonably annoying about that bald man. im so sorry in advanced for the person i will become
#the da fandom is lucky i had no idea what dragon age inquisition was when it came out bc i would have been so unbearable#i would discourse about that man for months at a time i know it. i know what kinda person i am#HEY CHUCKLES#HQJAWFGPHIONSDAZGIOJHSDZ#SOLAS#SOLAS MENTION#OH YM FGOD#JHGUISFD#HES SO im cryign so hard#i love you baby#SOLAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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getting back on my drawing slowly but surely ^^ here's an aleena
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sth aleena#aleena the hedgehog#sorta vent in tags but its more rambling TDLR i got injured right after the other stuff lol :sob:#just a tw for xacto knives & vomitting#I probably would have gotten back sooner but I ended up having a pretty nasty accident with an Xacto knife#design students remember your xacto safety and dont end up like me#my mom says it's probably because I was distracted with other events so I wasn't paying as much attention as i should have#you always feel like they're overreacting about safety till you end up in an accident :skull:#or well#Ive been cut before with Xactos but they weren't from cutting straight against a ruler and not realizing your finger is in the way#they were mostly because of how I'd accidentally push my finger too close to the back of the knife#and circles#āGo fast with a lot of pressureā - my design teacher's instructions on straight lines... yeah. I did that.#It's kinda crazy though cause I've gotten worse injuries but HOLY FUCK#Like yeah. Spraining my ankles hurt... burns hurt... that time my elbow just decided to be unbearably painful for no reason#that last one still confuses me cause what the hell??? anyways this time was just#an actual ridiculous amount of pain for what it was#I threw up 5 times from the pain all at once... which has only ever happened before with the elbow thing#at least this was an actual reason. unlike the elbow... which I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP AND IT WAS SEARING PAIN LIKE WHAT THE HELL????#anyways#Now that it doesnt hurt as bad it's kinda neat to look at#and think about in hindsight cause it bled a lot :sob:
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#we took a short trip out of town the other day to go have lunch at our favorite reataurant and visit some favorite cheap/free places#and i really hoped the getaway would help clear my head and help my mood but...it hasn't soooooo#I'm glad we went it was an anniversary and i would've been unbearably depressed if we couldn't go but it didn't give me the boost i'd hoped#and I'm struggling again just like before#i don't know how to fix this#or rather i DO know but we can't do it alone and I can't find help for it#i was really happy while i was away though#that was nice#just a day spent in my real home and not this awful place#it was nice to have#it was nice
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having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself
#what if you felt unbearable guilt because your brother went missing in the two seconds you were separated#and you feel like there mustve been Something you couldve done to prevent it#if only you had stuck together. if only you hadnt let him tag along on your basically-a-suicide-mission in the first place#but none of those things happened so you go through three years blaming yourself#continuing to search for him because maybe hes still out there. and maybe exhausting yourself on an aimless search is a way you can atone#and then you're pulled into this big destiny adventure so your searching is put on the back burner#you're so busy doing important things and meeting new friends and there are points in your adventure where your heart feels lighter#and maybe you open up just a little about the crushing guilt you feel. and your new friends say it wasnt your fault#maybe you start accepting that your brother is really gone but you have to keep living your life#saving your brother was a far out dream but saving the world is something you have the power to do#so you try your best. so you dont fuck up this time#your guilt becomes the fuel keeping you going#and then at the end of your journey#you find out one of the biggest obstacles on your journey#the human chimera that you felt kinda horrified at and a little bad for even as you fought them#is your brother you've been mourning and agonizing over not being able to save#so um. The Guilt is even worse now#now he doesnt just feel responsible for his death. he Now feels responsible for him becoming this Creature Thing under porkys control#and in a lucas dies scenario. hoogh i cant imagine how claus would feel after that.......#however the thing that spurred this post was thinking about the lucas lives postgame scenario (it just got a bit out of hand lol) so.#your brother is alive and back home again and youre so unbelievably glad#but the guilt still creeps up every time you see how much hes Changed. physically and mentally#you had just started to accept the fact youd have to live without your brother but somehow having him back is almost just as painful#things cant just go back to how they were before. youll never be the exact same happy family as you used to be#its strange adjusting to having lucas back and its strange trying not to step on each others toes with their trauma#you cant help but be clingy because you couldnt bear it if he disappeared again under your watch#but nobody wants to be watched all the time especially when youre recovering from your brainwashed identity as an army commander#FUCK I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I WANTED TO RAMBLE MORE AUGH. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL. i swear its not all angst theres some lightheartedness in it#mother 3 swap au#mothfics
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I mourn the platonic Everdair shenanigans the world lost
#they would have been unbearably obnoxious#but in like a fun way#Annie and Peeta sitting around rolling their eyes and hiding their grins#platonic everdair#finnick odair#Katniss Everdeen
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all the people wanting queer trauma porn who wouldāve bet money on cap killing himself because heās gay owe me Ā£1000 btw. you fucking freaks
#suicide#suicide mention#since 2019 i have had to see these takes#and iāve said all along they would Never do that to him#āoh but historically men have done thisā ok but this is fiction#and comedy can have tragedy. so many of the other deaths are#and so is capās#but his death was terrible without it being directly caused by his sexuality#and shame surrounding it#you guys have been unbearable with it#quill to paper
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I absolutely love your analysis of the gerudo and Ganondorf because they put into words what bothers me about how TOTK portrays Ganondorf. That being they remove his agency as a character in favor of having some great evil against the good guys.
[Major story spoilers ahead for the end of the game]
At the end of the game, when youāve defeated Ganondorf, he swallows the secret stone and becomes a dragon, like Zelda, fully knowing the consequences of what happens when that happens. And itās just kinda left me with a bitter taste in my mouth? In the context of the story it makes sense, heās portrayed as a egomaniac who just wants to destroy Hyrule. But compared to other versions of him, this one just feels more openly biased against him and the gerudo, with no reason or justification other than āheās evil, hate him.ā As far as I can tellā¦ They never really show us that heās done anything horrible or deserving of being feared before the show of fealty cutscene, other than not submit to Hyrule, attack them once, and generally have bad vibes. It feels forced how much they want us to hate him and the people who follow him. Iām not saying character in video games always have to be nuanced or complex but comparing like, Wind Waker Ganondorf next to TOTK Ganondorfā¦. š Waste of an excellent design imo.
Heyyy sorry for being a billion years late with this ask!! I was busy finishing the game!!! among other things!!! Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm super happy it resonated with you in that way!
I mean, the whole draconification plot beat doesn't really work for me. Like yeah, sure it's sad that Zelda is now a giant dragon and it's cool to have her soaring above your head while you have no idea where she actually is (a situation that isn't nearly tapped into enough in the narrative imo, like it gets obvious way too fast if you happen upon the wrong memory, etc), and I actually think the whole sequence of you removing the Master Sword from her head was the best scene in the entire game in terms of mood and emotions --even THOUGH it would have been so much better with a stronger story and stronger stakes-- BUT. How does that build up thematically?
I think what doesn't work for the Zelda side of this plot point (I'll get to Ganon next) is that... she doesn't make that choice. It's not like she's being tempted by an easy way out and decides to sacrifice herself for the sake of Hyrule or Link or whoever: she has no choice in the matter. Her powers activate (?? somehow? once and never again also, talk about dropped plot threads), she finds herself in the past, is the passive witness to a bunch of shit that only tangientially relates to her --it's like she's visiting estranged family in a foreign country and watch their drama awkwardly before being dragged into it against her will even though she was just trying to renew her passport and get back home (if there had been any callback to her relationship with her father it would have landed better, but it's just completely ignored so vOv). Then her relatives all die or corrupt or something, and she still can't get back home. What is she meant to do besides draconify? Grow old and die in the past? What would that accomplish?? Her adventures in the past are just basically about solving a shrine puzzle with a particularly weird solution --but the game treats it like a huge sacrifice when it's basically her only way out, and she lost absolutely nothing making that sacrifice (and then she... cries about the weird family drama? sure. Honestly I think it would have worked better if the tears were Rauru's, it's his bullshit everyone is dealing with right? He's the one who feels broken and aggrieved by the whole thing.)
So, if we ignore the draconification precedent builds up to zero thing thematically beyond cheap drama that reveals nothing about neither the characters nor the world, I think Ganondorf's case is a little more compelling because he does make a choice here: dying as he tries to achieve his weird lofty goals (and fail), or postpone his victory eternally by sacrificing his objectives but reject death and defeat --while also barring himself from victory. In a better crafted story, this could be utterly excellent and it feels very Ganondorf to me. BUT, my beef with that plot beat isn't that he chooses the second option, making him kinda active for the first time in the entire game (and makes an appropriate hideous smile: *loved* this second one, the first one didn't land for me but this one really captures the ecstatic insanity and transcendance and desperate madness of the act --I have nothing against Ganondorf offputting smiles and cackles when they feel earned, and the Sonia one just... doesn't to me, it just feels like weird rigging and mesh deformation choices getting out of control).
My problem is that his existence as a dragon contradicts everything we knew about dragons before --both for him and for Zelda. I thought the big issue with draconification was that you'd lose yourself to the act entirely, and would become this sort of organic landmark of infinite power and eternal life but without will to act on your precedent goals and understanding of yourself. But the second the big man becomes an evil dragon, suddenly Zelda zips in to the rescue (apparently remembering who you are? understanding she's meant to fight Ganondorf? I mean, this kind of works emotionally as a climactic ending and the power of love or whatever, again it would have worked better in a better story), and Ganondorf is still very much into destroying the world as well as you and Zelda.
Also, he's very definitively mortal (and he has the stone on his head again? And so if you destroy it you destroy his immortality? why???)
So... What I dislike here is the suggestion that he was somehow so evil and rotten and bad that all of these rare moments of interesting worldbuilding and ambivalence gets completely swallowed in the bossfight logic, making his choice (and Zelda's) completely meaningless in retrospect.
also: let Zelda remain a dragon you cowards, that way Hyrule gets any sort of chance to escape and reimagine its horrying eternal monarchy instead of re-establishing it even harder than before!!!
#totk#totk spoilers#totk critical#asks#tloz#zelda#ganondorf#any change to the statut quo emotionally is so unbearable to this game's writing it's so weird#the dragon thing is a cool idea but I'm not sure it should have involved zelda tbh#if it had been rauru's thing while mineru held ganondorf in place it would have worked better in my opinion#I feel like this leads to much better character arcs and make mineru more of a character#and someone we could connect to much more than rauru#something
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