#it would be unfair if i didn't at least put out a little something even if the ask was a joke or not :3

[thoughts-of-kel]

kel what do you do when depression strikes

joke advice: fuck it, we ball

genuine advice: as much as you can, take some time to relax and distract yourself until you can approach your situation with a clear and healthy mind. drink some water, go take a shower, get a little snack, engage in one of your hobbies and keep your chin up ^_^ it may take a while, but things get better and there will always be someone out there who will take time to listen to your problems and be there to support you. you are loved, and you are important. remember that.

TLDR: fuck it, we ball (with the power of friendship)

[hoshiina]

pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)

summary: in which he realizes you were the one for him

warnings: none i think !

wc: 1100

Hoshina wasn't a player. He wasn't one to say yes to everyone who came his way nor was he one to lightly pursue just about anyone who slightly interested him— not to mention he didn’t fall easily to begin with. He was a busy man in a dangerous line of work so having a relationship simply didn’t make sense most of the time.

However, this is not to say he hasn’t had a few relationships here and there. He loved those he dated, he really did. He did not believe in dating for the fun of it nor did he believe in starting a relationship he knew would end at some point, but subconsciously he tried not to get attached. He kept his distance and locked away his heart to keep from getting hurt. Was it unfair? Well yes, but he was scared. Everyone has something that terrifies them greatly, this just so happened to be Hoshina’s.

Yet, recently he could tell that something was different with you. It had only been a few months since you started dating, but he feared the shift in his feelings. He knew what it was— he knew very well, but as soon as he admitted it, it would be over. There’d be no going back for him. He knew he was being rather irrational, he knew that if he sat down and confronted these emotions he’d realize they weren’t that big of a deal, but he couldn’t. He’s never been able to.

However, while fighting this kaiju, it became plain obvious that he was simply in denial. 

It upset him how important you were to him, but more than that it upset him that he knew he was important to you. You had made it so painfully clear that he meant the absolute world to you and that broke him to pieces every single time.

To him it was easy being alone— he just had to make sure his job was complete before he died. If he could ensure everyone’s safety or at least help Mina out, there was nothing more he wished for. Yet while fighting Kaiju no. 10 today, when he saw his life flash before his eyes, his immediate thought was of you. If he died you’d cry. And that alone was going to get him home alive.

He’d rather die than make you cry. Especially not alone.

As he stood up again, he could see his blood dripping from his wounds and immediately it made him chuckle. You’d cry anyways when you see the state he’s in. 

I’ll have to be around to wipe your tears at least, he said to you in his head.

He was incredibly lucky that you didn’t work on the battlefield, his heart simply would not be able to take it. But he did, and for you he’d have to get home safe. Even if no one else cared that much, not even himself, he knew you would.

All of a sudden, it was easy to admit. He was hopelessly in love with you, in a way he didn't know he was capable of. He wished that he would spend the rest of his life with you and he hoped you would spend the rest of yours with him. Perhaps he was just afraid and a little flustered to admit that he was important to someone, especially someone special to him too. He had seen how painful it was for those left behind, a little too often. 

But there was an easy solution to that, he’d just get back to you safe every time. He just won’t make you worry and he’ll be there for you. This was supposed to be a dilemma, something he thought he'd stress over, but in the moment he felt eerily relaxed, definitely not like he was fighting an identified grade kaiju. The rest of the fight was a blur, he couldn't remember much. His head was clear but the fatigue had taken over at that point, but before he knew it, the kaiju laid in front of him still.

He was faintly conscious as they rushed him into an ambulance and patched him up. Once he was properly treated and awake, they had warned him to stay put and take it easy, but all he wanted to do was see you.

As soon as he left his assigned room, he immediately bumped into you. You had been waiting to be let in to see him. You took one look at the way he was patched up and tears welled into your eyes. He could tell you didn't mean to, you didn't want to worry him.

“Please don't cry,” he said softly, wiping your tears away. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of you. “I'm perfectly fine.”

“I'm not crying,” you said with a scowl on your face, but the way your voice cracked was not very convincing. “I'm so glad you're back.”

“Can't live without me?” he teased. He knew you couldn't live without him, but he couldn't either. Yet, now he even hated the thought of you living without him, let alone with someone else, so here he was. And here he always will be.

“Shut up,” you said. “You know I can't.”

He knew, but hearing you say that still made his heart flutter. He reached out with his right hand to grab your left and held it carefully. He leaned in to kiss you, but it was so much sloppier than the careful ones he usually gave you. Forgive him, he was terribly exhausted.

“I can't either,” he said, snuggling his face into your shoulder.

“You can't?” you asked, a little surprised. It broke his heart that he had possibly made you feel such way.

“Not for a second,” he said, still avoiding eye contact. “I'd rather die than wake up without you next to me, actually.”

You wouldn’t reply, so he brought his head back up to look at you.

“Oh, don't cry,” he said and chuckled a little, wiping your tears away as he kissed you again. “I didn't mean to make you cry.”

He hadn't let go of your hand and although he was gentle, he held it firmly. He didn't say anything, but he vowed to himself that he'd put a ring on it someday. He wasn't letting go of you ever.

You were the one for him.

[cherrylovelycherry]

Pls make me another poly with ratio and aven. Make another and my life is YOURS

I'm hungry for angst

Girl don't judge me, I'm using translator for this JDNAIJDHD

.note. HEYY, omg i gotcha anon!! tbh, I loved writing the poly angst. hope you like it, I think I overdid it with the words oopsie ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

i don't know if you speak spanish but, shadow freddy vuelta al ruedo

i will post part 2 tomorrow mueheh

𓂅new order. "tarte aux fraises and a pain au chocolat."

Contracts and preferences pt.1 pt.2

pairing. Aventurine x gn!reader x Dr ratio (poly) cw/genre. angst, argument, some slow burn again, slight being left out, some nsfw in pt.2, negligent attitudes synopsis. you went from being “decoration” and “ partner” to “ servant” and “assistant”. full menu

They knew you were there, didn't they?

You were sure you did, you knew, you knew they would come to take you in their arms and fill you with affection. 

Or at least that's what you longed for. 

You were sitting at the dining table, trying to plan schedules and meetings for each of them. 

Since, after all, you were both their assistant. 

To put the situation in context, you concise them both separately, not knowing that they were a couple before. 

You worked at the ipc, for Aventurine, while at the same time, you also worked for the Intelligentsia Guild, specifically being the assistant of Ratio. 

The connections you made at the Guild helped you to be at the IPC too. 

You gave them a sideways look, again, it would be the fifth time you do it in almost ten minutes. 

You never complain about your job, you always think that if it weren't for that, you wouldn't have been able to meet the two men you're dating now. 

But it felt unfair sometimes. 

You were at the table, with thousands of documents and making calls, while they were on the couch, curled up and even getting a little more affectionate. 

Of course you were happy for them, you loved them both and they loved you too, their affection was mutual, but sometimes... it was really something.

For example, Ratio, with no shame, began to cover Aventurine's neck and jaw with a few small kisses, while the other laughed discreetly and also played with his hair in a discreet way. 

You let out an audible sigh.

Aaand, nothing.

The two were already on the sofa, snuggled up against each other, watching some movie, but not even the slightest bit watching it. 

You knew it, they were just looking for an excuse to get closer to each other, and they were taking every opportunity they could. 

They whispered sweet words to each other, caressed each other's backs, made small, playful comments that caused a few giggles, and their eyes didn't leave each other's. 

You had to admit, the atmosphere they created was quite... Intimate.

You let out a small sigh again, in a somewhat exaggerated way, the sound getting their attention almost immediately. 

They both knew it. 

But they decided to play dumb, just this once. 

"Tired?" Asked Aventurine first. 

"Overworked?" Ratio followed, as he tried to get up to get to you.

You rolled your eyes, but not out of irritation, but more because this was a fairly common occurrence. 

"Yeah," you replied, "and a little tired of being all alone here." 

Ratio, walking over to you and resting a gentle hand on your shoulder while he stood behind you. 

"We'll give you some attention," he said.

"Will you?" You asked, arching an eyebrow as you continued to go through the documents in front of you.

Aventurine stood up, making his way to the two of you, resting his chin on your shoulder and looking at the papers you were reading. 

"We'll give you all you want," he whispered right next to your ear. 

"Well..." you replied with feigned indifference, but your words were full of expectation, "prove it."

The two of them looked at each other out of the corner of their eyes, before Ratio began to place light kisses down your neck.

You couldn't help but shiver, trying to control yourself. 

At your reaction, Ratio chuckled against your skin, and, just to tease you, gave your sensitive skin a little bite, causing your shoulders to arch involuntarily. 

A low, suppressed sound escaped your lips. 

Meanwhile, Aventurine's hands traveled to one of your shoulders, gently massaging them.

"You've been working too much," he whispered in your other ear, "haven't you?"

"Yeah..." you admitted in a low whisper, as the two continued to pamper you. 

"We should take care of you," said Ratio, continuing to give you little kisses and bites.

"We should," agreed Aventurine, leaving a brief kiss on your head.

Their ministrations continued for a while, their hands and mouths roaming gently over your shoulders, neck, and back.

The feeling was so good, you couldn't help but moan softly.

By now, you had both men behind you and surrounding you completely, their touches and affections slowly but surely getting heavier and more intense.

You felt Aventurine's hands move to your hips, gently pulling you closer against his body as Ratio continued to kiss your neck.

It was a bit embarrassing to admit it, but you were really enjoying all that attention. 

...

Okay, maybe you anticipated a bit. 

The 'we should take care of you', stayed in 'we should'. Literally. 

Heavyweights and affectionate touches were maintained, even the three of you moved to the couch, for comfort. 

The raised caresses calmed down after a while, letting you put your head on Aventurine's legs, while Ratio did gentle massages on your body. 

At least that 10 minutes ago, since you had your eyes closed, but you started to feel a hard thing behind your head. 

And by the time you noticed, they were both kissing, with the same intensity and desire. 

"Hey, guys," you spoke up, a bit annoyed, but they didn't seem to notice.

Instead, they were even getting more intense, as the small sounds of them echoed quietly in the room.

"Guys," you called out again, in a slightly louder voice.

A low moan escaped Aventurine's lips, while Ratio's hands ran over his hair.

And far apart from that, you felt the Aventurine member accidentally rubbing against your head every time they moved to eat their mouths.

"Please," you said, slightly frustrated, "you guys!" At the same time, you also got up from Aven's legs, sitting in the space between them. 

They finally broke apart, a bit breathless, their lips red and glistening with saliva. 

They both looked at you, slightly surprised that you'd interrupted them.

"What's wrong...?" Ratio finally asked, still a little out of breath.

"Are you alright?" Aventurine added, trying to recompose himself.

You huffed softly, feeling a bit disappointed. 

"Uhm, if you two are in _the_ mood, you can go to the room," you said calmly. 

The two of them looked at each other for a few seconds, a silent conversation happening between them.

"Are you sure...?" Aventurine asked, turning his gaze back to you.

"You don't mind?" Ratio added, studying your expression.

You tried to appear calm and understanding, but deep down, you were still a bit frustrated. The sight of the two of them all hot and bothered without you was really... a bit unfair.

"No, it's okay," you said, trying to remain calm. "You two can go ahead." 

They studied you a bit more, trying to discern if you were being honest or not. 

But you smiled at them, trying to reassure them that you were fine with it. 

They both shared another look, before Ratio got up from the couch and held out his hand to Aventurine.

Aventurine grabbed Ratio's hand, standing up in one smooth movement. 

They were still looking at you, obviously still reluctant to leave you alone.

"Are you sure?" Ratio asked again, as Aventurine stayed silent.

You nodded, trying to maintain a reassuring smile. "Yes, I'm sure," you replied. "I'll just finish up some more work, and I'll join you guys later."

"Mhm, okay, love," Aven replied, as he nodded, with a slight smile. 

The two men walked past you, heading towards the bedroom door, Ratio's hand still intertwined with Aventurine's. 

You stayed rooted to the spot.

You knew they had needs, and you had nothing against them satisfying them together. 

But it's just... you couldn't shake off the strange feeling in your chest.

Ratio and Aventurine went to the bedroom, closing the door. 

You took a deep breath, feeling a bit frustrated. 

Of course, you were happy for them, their relationship was strong and had a deep connection, but... it didn't stop you from feeling slightly 'left out'.

You leaned fully back on the couch, letting out a low sigh.

'Nah, maybe I'm exaggerating', You thought as you got off the couch, to go back to the table. 

You made your way back to the table, sorting out the documents. 

As you organized everything, you couldn't help but overhear small noises coming from the bedroom. 

Even though the door was closed, the sounds of Ratio and Aventurine, clearly enjoying themselves, were still faintly audible. 

You tried to ignore it, to focus on your work, but it was hard. Each time you heard a small sound, a small whine, it sent a little shiver throughout your body.

The more you tried to concentrate, the more the sounds seemed to get louder and more intense.

You tried to shake off the thoughts running through your mind and concentrate on your work, but as time passed, you found it more and more difficult to ignore the sounds coming from the bedroom.

Moans, whispers, muttered words, and the sound of the bed creating through the room.

You had no right to be jealous, you had told them to go for it, you had encouraged them. 

And so, you focused only on paperwork and arranging schedules. 

You dropped a yawn while you stopped typing on the laptop. 

You stretched a little while getting up from the chair. 

You didn't realize when the erotic sounds coming from the room had been ceased. 

When you finally noticed the absence of sounds, a small pang of confusion and sadness hit you in the chest.

Of course, you told them to go ahead, and maybe they were already... done, but still, you felt a little pang of disappointment.

But it was fine, since you didn't really think about the room for a while to join, as you told them. 

You were finishing stretching when the bedroom door opened, a slightly disheveled Ratio peeking his head out of the room.

You looked at him, a raised eyebrow.

"Yes?" You asked, trying to maintain a calm demeanor.

Ratio looked at you for a few seconds, his breath still a bit heavy. 

"Can you come here for a second...?" he asked, his voice slightly hoarse from... the situation in the room.

You tried to remain unfazed, even though the request was an unexpected one.

"Sure," you said with nonchalance in your voice.

You made your way to the bedroom, Ratio moving aside to let you enter. 

As you stepped in, you were met with Aventurine, sitting on the edge of the bed, hair tousled and a few love bites on his neck and shoulders.

The sight of Aventurine in that state sent another pang to your chest, but you tried to hide it. 

He looked at you, a slight tiredness in his eyes, as a small smile appeared on his lips.

"You finished your work?" He asked, his voice also slightly hoarse.

"Almost..." you replied, avoiding looking at the small hickeys on his skin for too long.

"You two were quick," you commented half-jokingly, trying to maintain the same casual tone from before.

Ratio chuckled softly, leaning on the doorframe as he watched the interaction.

"It wasn't really that quick," he said with a smirk.

Aventurine shook his head, giving Ratio a side look before turning his attention back to you.

"We're just... impatient," he said, with a slight hint of teasing in his voice. 

You grimaced, while you laughed somewhat uncomfortable. 

You tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling, but the sight of them both, disheveled and still somewhat out of breath, wasn't helping.

"Right," you said, still trying to keep up the act.

There was a small moment of silence in the room, Ratio's gaze darting between you and Aventurine, as if he was waiting to see how the situation would unfold.

"Uhm, do you need anything?" You asked, seeing that they weren't going to say anything. 

Besides, you didn't really know why you were called into the room. 

"Oh, yes," Ratio said. 

"Can you take out clean sheets? I'm going to bring water to Aven," he added, as he left the room. 

 "Okay," you replied simply, watching Ratio disappear into the hallway.

You turned your gaze to Aventurine.

He was still sitting on the edge of the bed, looking a bit worn out and sated.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of something in your chest, as you couldn't help but steal a glance at the marks on his neck and shoulders. 

You let out a silent sigh before heading to some drawers next to the bed. 

'It's okay, It'll be your turn' you thought as you focused on pulling out a set of clean sheets. 

  You were in a relationship with the two, and you knew that they had... desires, and needed that physical intimacy.

You tried to understand their need, and you also tried to not feel 'bad' about being left out.

But at the same time, you couldn't help but wonder if your presence was really necessary.

Your thoughts were interrupted, you felt Aventurine approaching you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against his chest.

He placed his chin on your shoulder, pressing his body against yours.

"You're being quiet..." he murmured near your ear.

You felt the warmth of his body and the soft touch of his arms around you, making you momentarily forget all the thoughts and doubts that were swirling around in your mind.

You leaned gently against him, taking a deep breath.

"Just thinking..." you replied, your voice a little tense. 

You finished taking out the sheets, and you stand still, waiting for it to come loose, which didn't happen, so you moved a little. "uhm, can you...?" 

Your voice is tense and uncomfortable. 

Aventurine noticed the change in your tone, and he loosened his grip on you, stepping back slightly.

He gently turned you around to face him, his hands resting on your hips, a touch of worry in his eyes.

"Are you okay...?" He asked, "His voice low and gentle."

You averted your gaze slightly, feeling a mixture of emotions that you couldn't quite make sense of.

"Yup," It was the only thing you answered, and then you went to bed and started removing the dirty sheets. 

Aventurine watched you silently, his gaze fixated on your body.

He could feel the tension in your movements and the subtle stiffness in your voice. He knew that something was bothering you, but he wasn't entirely sure what it was. 

He decided to give you some space, allowing you to remove the sheets, but he still stood beside you, his eyes never leaving you.

After a few moments, Ratio came back into the room, a glass of water in his hand.

He handed it to Aventurine, who took it gratefully and took a few sips before setting it on the bedside table.

There was a strange atmosphere in the room, as if something were left hanging in the air. 

You felt like they were looking at you, as you finished putting the clean sheets on the bed. 

It was hard to ignore their stares, and the fact that you were alone with them in the room made the tension even more palpable. 

You finished putting on the sheets and took a subtle deep breath. 

You could practically feel the weight of their gazes on your back, even though you knew that both of them were trying to hide their concern and curiosity. 

"There..." you muttered, finally turning around to face them.

Ratio was leaning against the wall nearby, his arms crossed, his expression a mixture of concern and confusion.

Aventurine was still standing beside you, his gaze fixed on you, as if studying your every move.

For a few seconds, there was just a heavy silence, as the two of them looked at you waiting for you to say something.

But what should you say? You felt a mixture of contradictory emotions.

"You can rest now," you said, calmly speaking. 

Your voice sounded calm, but on the inside, you were still feeling a mixture of unease and disappointment.

Ratio and Aventurine exchanged a glance, clearly understanding your cue that the conversation was over. 

Aventurine didn't make a move, still watching you.

Ratio, sensing the tension in the room, walked over to Aventurine's side, gently pushing him towards the bed.

"Come on," Ratio murmured, his tone soft but firm. "You should rest."

Aventurine didn't object, allowing Ratio to gently guide him onto the bed.

He sank back against the pillows, looking at you with a mix of tiredness and worry. Ratio sat down beside him, also looking at you.

"Are you...?" Ratio started to ask, but you interrupted him.

"I'm fine," you said, still doing your best to appear casual, "I just need to... go to the bathroom."

You used the excuse of needing to use the bathroom to get away for a few minutes.

Ratio and Aventurine looked at you for a moment, their gazes following you as you left the room.

As soon as you closed the door to the bathroom behind you, you let out a soft sigh, bracing your hands on the sink.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror.

Your expression was a mixture of exhaustion and frustration.

You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to organize your thoughts. You knew that what you were feeling was silly, but at the same time, you couldn't help it.

Your relationship with Ratio and Aventurine was unconventional, you knew that they had needs and desires, and they had each other to satisfy those needs. 

But what about you...?

It was a thought that had crossed your mind several times before.

You tried to convince yourself that they cared about you, that they loved you.

But at times like this, when they were alone in their intimate moments, you couldn't help but feel... left out.

You knew that they weren't trying to exclude you, that they weren't being malicious, but it still hurt. 

You sighed, patting yourself on the cheeks, before leaving the bathroom and returning to the room. 

Ratio and Aventurine were still on the bed, now settled under the covers.

Aventurine's eyes were partly closed, as the exhaustion from the previous activities was starting to take its toll.

Ratio, however, was still slightly tense, his eyes locking on you as soon as you entered the room.

You walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge next to Ratio.

For a moment, no one spoke. The only sounds in the room were the soft breathing of Aventurine and the silence that seemed to weigh upon all of you.

Ratio shifted slightly, moving closer to you, his hand gently moving to your thigh.

Ratio's touch was gentle and comforting, but at the same time, you couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt.

You didn't want to ruin the moment. You didn't want to make them feel bad for seeking their comfort in each other's embrace.

You looked at Aventurine, who seemed to be moments from falling asleep.

His hair was messy, and the skin on his neck was still showing some red marks. 

Although you felt an uncomfortable heaviness in your chest, with your fingers, you accommodated the hair that covered Aven's face. 

Aventurine's face relaxed under your touch, his breathing still calm and steady.

Ratio's grip on your thigh tightened a little, and you could feel his gaze fixated on you.

"You know..." Ratio began, his voice low. "We... We didn't mean to make you feel left out."

You paused for a few seconds, unsure of what to say.

"Mhm, i know" you whispered, still running your fingers through Aventurine's hair.

"I'm tired."

The word hung in the air, and Ratio sighed softly.

"Come here," he said, gently pulling you down to lie next to him.

You complied, feeling Ratio's strong arms encircling your waist, pulling you against his chest.

The feeling of Ratio's body against yours was comforting, but there was still a nagging feeling at the back of your mind.

You snuggled into Ratio's embrace, feeling his warmth and the steady beat of his heart.

"We love you," Ratio murmured, his voice barely a whisper.

You closed your eyes in response, feeling a mixture of both comfort and unease.

You wanted to believe Ratio's words.

But at the same time, you couldn't help but doubt. 

 The morning sunlight streamed in through the cracks of the curtains, gently illuminating the bedroom.

The peaceful silence in the room was broken by a soft, groggy groan.

"Hmm, what time is it...?" Aventurine mumbled half-sleep, shifting slightly in the bed.

You had gotten up before them, starting to prepare their breakfasts, and ending with the day's schedule for each. 

Ratio stirred beside him, slowly waking up as well, his messy hair sticking every which way.

Aventurine groaned again, finally opening his eyes, blinking a few times as he adjusted to the morning light.

He sat up in bed, rubbing his face with his hands, trying to shake off the lingering drowsiness.

"Ugh... I feel like I slept for days," he said with a yawn, his voice still gravelly with sleep.

He looked around the room, noticing that you were not in bed.

"Where's..." Aventurine began, his eyes scanning the room, noticing that it was just the two of them.

Ratio sat up as well, groaning as he stretched his arms above his head, the muscles in his back tensing with the movement.

He glanced over at Aventurine, following his gaze.

"They're probably in the kitchen," Ratio said, voice sleepy and still slightly rough from sleep.

"I think we slept pretty late." he commented again, glancing at the clock on the bedside table.

Aventurine followed Ratio's gaze, noticing the time.

"Damn... it's almost noon," he muttered, climbing out of the bed and stretching. 

"I guess we're in for a lazy day."

Ratio chuckled softly, still sitting on the bed, the covers half-covering his bare chest.

"I guess so," he agreed, his eyes flickering over Aventurine's disheveled form.

Aventurine paused, noticing Ratio's gaze on him. He ran a hand through his messy hair, trying to smooth it down.

"What?" he asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Ratio smirked. "You just look... well, pretty wrecked after our little... session last night."

Aventurine rolled his eyes, but a small smirk played on his lips, betraying his attempt to appear annoyed.

"Shut up," he retorted, crossing his arms over his chest, causing the sheets to slip lower, exposing more of his bare skin.

Ratio chuckled again, amused by Aventurine's reaction. He stood up from the bed and walked over to him, stopping a few inches away, to kiss him and get out of the room. 

Just as Aventurine was getting out of bed, finishing stretching, he heard a curse and a sound of a cup breaking. 

That made him leave the room quickly. 

By the time he gets to the kitchen, his frow frowned. 

"Fuck..." you let go again, grimacing, while holding one of your hands. 

When Ratio had left the bedroom first, you didn't hear his footsteps so when you turned with the hot cup of coffee, you were scared to see him there, causing the cup to fall to the ground after burning with the liquid inside. 

Both Ratio and Aventurine were now watching you carefully.

Ratio's expression was a mixture of concern and guilt, knowing that he startled you. 

Aventurine's frown deepened as he noticed the way you were holding your hand. 

"Are you okay?" Ratio asked, his voice soft and filled with worry.

Aventurine stepped closer to you, eyes fixated on your injured hand.

"What happened?" he asked, looking at the shattered cup on the floor and the spilled coffee.

"It's nothing," you tried to assure them, though you couldn't hide the slight wince that escaped you when you tried to move your hand. 

The burn wasn't that serious, but it hurt. 

Ratio moved closer, his eyes drifting from your hand to your face.

"Let me see," he said, gently taking your hand in his, examining the burn.

Aventurine stood close by, his gaze fixed on Ratio as he carefully inspected your injury.

Ratio's touch was gentle as he examined the burn, his fingers tracing over the reddened skin.

"It's not too bad, but you shouldn't move your hand too much," he said, his voice low and soothing. "I'll get something to treat it."

He released your hand, moving to a nearby cabinet to get the necessary medical supplies, while Aventurine took a step closer to you.

Ratio rummaged through the cabinet, gathering a few supplies to treat your burn.

Aventurine watched Ratio, his gaze drifting from Ratio's focused expression to your now free hand.

He hesitated for a moment, but then he gently reached out and took your injured hand in his.

His touch was gentle, almost reverent, as he held your hand carefully, as if afraid he might hurt you further.

"You need to be more careful," Aventurine scolded softly, his eyes fixed on your hand.

You had to suppress a shiver as you felt Aventurine's touch, his fingers gently caressing the sore skin of your hand.

Ratio returned with a small bag of supplies, a concerned expression still on his face.

"I'll tend to your hand now, okay?" 

Ratio gently took your hand from Aventurine's grasp, preparing the supplies he needed to treat your burn.

Aventurine watched diligently in silence, his eyes never leaving your injury.

Ratio was gently applying the ointment to your burn, his touch precise and practiced.

The stinging sensation lessened as the soothing medicine worked its magic.

Aventurine continued to watch, his eyes fixated on Ratio's hands tending to your injury.

Once Ratio was finished, he wrapped a sterile gauze around your hand to protect the burn.

"There," Ratio said, satisfied with his work. "You'll need to keep the bandage on to protect the burn. Let it heal properly."

You flexed your fingers, feeling a slight discomfort from the burn but relieved by Ratio's skillful treatment.

"Thank you," you murmured, a little embarrassed by all the attention. 

Your eyes looked at the ground, seeing the broken cup, along with the coffee lying on the floor. 

You let out a sigh, seeing the disaster. 

Ratio noticed your gaze and followed it to the broken cup and spilled coffee on the floor. 

"Don't worry about it," he said, putting the supplies back in the cabinet. "Accidents happen."

Aventurine, who was still standing nearby, glanced at the mess on the floor and then back at you.

"I'll clean it up," he said, crouching down to start gathering the shattered pieces of the cup.

"Oh no, Aven," you quickly let go, preventing him from bending over. 

"You two are going to breakfast, you have a lot to do today," you said, as you pointed to the table with food on top. 

Ratio and Aventurine exchanged a glance, a hint of surprise in Ratio's eyes at your quick reaction.

Aventurine was about to protest, but Ratio placed a hand on his shoulder, effectively silencing him.

"They're right," Ratio said, gently pushing Aventurine towards the table. "We do have a lot to do, and it's already noon."

Aventurine let out a sigh.

"But, your burn..." he protested, his eyes moving from Ratio to you. 

"The bandage will do its job. Besides, it's nothing serious," Ratio assured, gently guiding Aventurine towards the table again. 

"We'll leave the cleaning to them. Now come on, let's eat. We're late as it is."

Ratio's insistence was enough for Aventurine to reluctantly agree. He let out a sigh and stopped resisting, finally taking a seat at the table.

Ratio sat down as well, gesturing for you to join them.

"Come here," Ratio urged gently, patting the seat next to him.

Your attention was led back to them. 

"Uhm?, oh, I've already eaten," you let go, as you continued your previous action. 

You bent down to the ground, carefully picking up the broken pieces of the cup, throwing them away. 

Ratio and Aventurine watched you silently, concern and confusion on their faces.

Ratio's brow furrowed as you dismissed the offer to sit with them.

"You did? How long have you been awake?" he asked, his voice laced with worry.

Aventurine's eyes flicked between you and Ratio, his expression mirroring Ratio's concern.

You didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so you simply shrugged. 

"I don't know, maybe a couple of hours?" you mumbled, continuing your task. 

Ratio's frown deepened. "You should have woken us up. You didn't need to get up so early."

Aventurine leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

"And it's not the first time either," he commented, a hint of irritation in his voice.

Ratio sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "It's not the first time, indeed," he agreed, shooting a disapproving look in your direction.

You paused for a moment, feeling the weight of their gazes on you. 

"I just wanted to make sure everything was ready for you two," you muttered, avoiding their eyes. 

Ratio's expression softened a little, but there was still a hint of frustration in his voice. 

"You don't need to do that. We can take care of ourselves," he said, although the tone was firm, he wasn't truly angry.

"You know we don't like it when you do this," Aventurine scolded gently, his voice firm but tinged with worry.

You knew they were worried about you, but you couldn't help but feel a sense of responsibility for them. You wanted to make sure they had everything they needed, that they were comfortable and well taken care of.

"Mhm," you mumbled. 

"But it's my job as an assistant to both of you and as your partner," you added, grabbing some paper towels to clean the wet coffee floor. 

Ratio let out another sigh.

"Partner," he repeated, the word hanging in the air.

Aventurine's expression hardened, his eyes narrowing slightly. "That's a poor excuse," he said.

"We never asked you to do all that. We never expected you to be at our beck and call like that." 

You finished drying the floor, and you stood again. 

"In fact, that was involved in the contract i signed," you spoke calmly, while throwing away used paper towels. 

You remembered very well the contracts you signed when you were officially the assent of each one respectively. 'It is necessary that the worker be available in semi-complete time and at the disposal...' 

You read those contracts 10 times each, as it was something of utmost importance.

Ratio and Aventurine remained silent for a moment, processing your words.

Veritas seemed frustrated, though not towards you, but rather towards the situation.

"We're not talking about the job or the contracts," Ratio said, his voice firm.

Aventurine added. "We're talking about us. About this... relationship between us," he paused, gesturing to the three of you. 

You sighed, once you finished cleaning, approaching the table. 

"Come on, don't be bitter and eat," you said, as you sat in a chair in front of them. 

They each took a plate, serving themselves and starting breakfast. 

The atmosphere was tense for a few minutes, a heavy silence hanging in the air. 

Ratio was the first to break the silence, his voice softer now. 

"How is your hand?" he asked.

You raised your hand, flexing it slightly.

"It's fine," you assured him. "The intent you applied did its job." 

You're still ordering papers, along with documents on your laptop. 

"Well, I will explain to you the agenda of both today," You said, before you started explaining to them what things are had planned for today. 

Ratio and Aventurine listened attentively to your explanations, occasionally asking questions.

Although they still had a slight hint of frustration from the previous conversation, the tension had somewhat eased.

Ratio nodded as you finished explaining the agenda. "I think we can manage those tasks."

Aventurine, who had been quietly eating, spoke up, "I just need to deal with some more research, and I'll be ready."

You nodded, as you also drank some water, before speaking. 

"All right, then I'll go make some calls for today." 

You stood up from your seat, getting up from the table.

Ratio stood up suddenly too. "Wait." 

Aventurine also stood up, his eyes narrowing.

You paused, slightly surprised by their sudden movements.

Ratio walked over to you, gently taking your hand with the injured one, his touch surprisingly soft. He examined it to make sure the bandage was still in place.

Aventurine remained standing near the table, his gaze fixed on the two of you, his arms crossed over his chest.

Ratio's touch was gentle, a stark contrast to the sternness he had shown earlier.

He seemed satisfied that the bandage was still secure and then looked up at you.

"Be careful," he said, his voice softer than before.

Aventurine still watched from a distance, his eyes fixed on Ratio's hand holding yours.

You couldn't help but feel a bit flustered at Ratio's touch and the concern in his voice.

"I will," you assured him, although you knew they still worried about you.

Aventurine finally walked over to the two of you, standing beside Ratio. 

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to us?" asked him. 

You couldn't help but let out a slight giggle as you rolled your eyes. 

"Okay, okay," you said, as you approached Aven, to give him a gentle kiss on the lips and then do the same with Ratio. 

Ratio and Aventurine returned your kisses, Aventurine's kiss slow and gentle, while Ratio's was a bit more firm but soft.

When you pulled away, they both looked at you with a hint of disappointment.

Ratio spoke up first. "That's too short."

Aventurine nodded in agreement. "Yeah, not enough." 

You let out another laugh, while shaking your head. "Nuh huh, it was fine." 

Ratio's hand, which was still holding yours, squeezed gently as if reluctant to let go. But he reluctantly dropped it.

Aventurine, though he tried to maintain a composed expression, couldn't hide the hint of a smile that tugged at the corners of his lips.

"Good luck with your work," he said. 

You nodded, still feeling a bit flustered, but trying to maintain your composure.

"I'll see you later," you said, as you turned to leave.

Ratio and Aventurine watched you go, their eyes following you until you were out the door, entering your office, next to the master bedroom. 

As you walk into your office, you couldn't help but think about the conversation between the three of you.

You knew they cared about you, and they were concerned for you. But sometimes their overprotectiveness felt suffocating, especially when they questioned your commitment to them.

You could understand how they might feel, though, considering their jobs and the stress they were under.

You settled down at your desk, pulling out some documents and beginning to make the first of many calls you were going to have to do today.

The hours passed, and the calls you made consumed most of your day.

As mid-day approached, you felt your stomach growl, reminding you that you hadn't eaten lunch yet.

You kept looking at all the papers and documents on your desk. 

Since you were only in the apartment at the time, you decided that it would be easier to order fast food. 

When you finally got the order, you ate while looking at your phone, getting a little distracted. 

From there, you get a message, exactly from Aven. 

'Hi, beautiful. I'm with Ratio now, don't prepare anything for dinner, we'll bring food, it won't take long,' 

You smile unconsciously as you read the text, answer it and then leave the chat, to finish eating and then continue doing the paperwork. 

After replying to Aven's message, you finished your meal and turned your attention back to the remaining work.

The afternoon passed by quickly, and the sky outside the window of your office started to turn orange as the sun began to set.

You glanced at the clock, noting that it was getting late. Ratio and Aventurine should be returning soon.

Uhm.

By the time you looked at the clock on the wall again, you grimaced. 

It had been a little longer. 

And by the time you took another look at it, it had been four hours. It was almost midnight. 

Your frown frowned, you were worried now. 

Not to mention you were hungry. 

You glanced at your cell phone, seeing that there was no new message.

You tried to reassure yourself that they must have been busy with work, but as the hours went by, your worry grew. 

Eventually you couldn't stand still anymore, so you got up from your seat and went to the living room, to pace until they arrived.

Time seemed to drag on painfully slow. 

You kept pacing around the room, glancing at the clock on the wall every so often.

And just as you were about to check your phone for the millionth time, the sound of the apartment door opening reached your ears.

You rushed to the entrance, catching a glimpse of Ratio and Aventurine as they entered, looking somewhat...tipsy?

"Finally!" you said, unable to hide your relief. "Where have you been, I was getting worried."

Ratio and Aventurine looked at you, slightly startled by your sudden exclamation.

Aventurine let out a chuckle, his speech slightly slurred. "We were just out having a drink."

Ratio, slightly more composed than Aventurine, spoke up, his voice slightly strained due to the alcohol. "We lost track of time, sorry for worrying you."

You looked at the two of them, noting their disheveled appearance. It seemed like they had more than just a few drinks.

"I can see that," you said, a mix of relief and annoyance in your voice.

You moved closer, scrutinizing their faces. They were both clearly inebriated, their eyes bloodshot and movements a lil uncoordinated. 

without noticing that there were traces of hickeys on their necks. 

Ratio and Aventurine stumbled a bit as they tried to maintain their balance, their coordination affected by the alcohol.

Aventurine noticed you looking at their necks, and he quickly tried to cover the hickeys with his hand. But his reaction only drew your attention more to the marks.

Ratio, noticing this, shifted awkwardly on his feet, his gaze darting away from you.

Your eyes narrowed at the sight of the marks on their necks.

"What are those?" you demanded, your voice a bit colder now. 

Ratio and Aventurine exchanged a quick glance, their alcohol-clouded minds struggling to come up with a coherent response.

Aventurine spoke, "We were... having a bit of fun."

Your eyes narrowed further. "Fun, huh?" You repeated, a hint of annoyance in your voice.

Ratio, ever the mediator, tried to diffuse the situation. "It's nothing to worry about, sweetheart," he tried to reassure you, but his slurred speech contradicted his words.

Aventurine, perhaps a bit tipsy and bolder, smirked, "Yeah, harmless fun, that's all." 

You let out a sigh you didn't know you were holding. 

It was fine, of course they could do that. 

"Mhm," you let go, before walking away a bit, to deter your thoughts a bit. 

"Did you bring the food?" You asked, as you looked at them. 

As they had said by message, you did not prepare anything for dinner, since they said they would bring food. And, already at almost midnight, you died of hunger. 

They exchanged another quick glance, realizing their oversight.

"Food," Ratio muttered, trying to focus his alcohol-fuzzed mind. "Right, we were supposed to bring food."

Aventurine looked at you sheepishly. "We, uh, forgot."

Your annoyance deepened, your disappointment in them growing.

"You forgot," you repeated, trying to keep your voice steady.

Ratio scratched the back of his head. "Yeah... We got carried away, I guess."

Aventurine, seemingly trying to light in the mood, chimed in, "To be fair, we were pretty druunk." 

Okay, that didn't help at all. 

A small knot formed in your stomach. You were hungry, and the realization that you would have to find something to eat at this hour made you kinda feel bad.

  They seemed oblivious to your frustration, their alcohol-clouded minds still attempting to justify their actions.

Ratio tried to play it off, "It's not a big deal, we can order something."

Aventurine added, "Yeah, we can get your food delivered."

But their suggestions only irritated you more.

"It's late," you retorted, your voice becoming more strained. "Most places are closed."

However, Aventurine's words dislocated you a bit. "Your food?" You repeated, while you frown a little in confusion. 

At your questioning tone, Ratio immediately realized his slip-up, and his face paled slightly.

Aventurine didn't seem to notice the effect his words had on you, the alcohol dulling his perception.

"Yeah, YOUR food," he repeated, not realizing the implications of what he was saying.

Ratio, picking up on your reaction, shot Aventurine a glance. "Vasha, just stop," he muttered, trying to shut his partner up. But Aventurine was too caught up in his drunk state to notice Ratio's warning.

Aventurine's words echoed in your mind, adding fuel to the fire of your growing irritation.

Ratio's attempt to silence Aventurine fell on deaf ears, and the alcohol coursing through Aventurine's system loosened his tongue even more.

"What's the problem?" Aventurine asked, still oblivious to the impact of his words. "We can order something specifically for you, right?"

Ratio winced, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

You clenched your fists, struggling to keep your emotions in check.

Ratio, seeing the tension building, tried again to intervene. "Vasha, shut up," he hissed through gritted teeth.

But Aventurine, still unaware of the gravity of the situation, waved him off. "Oh, come on, I'm just sayi–"

You interrupted him before he could finish. "Specifically for me?" You repeated again. 

"Have you had dinner yet?" You dared to ask, feeling a strange sting in your throat and chest. 

Aventurine's inebriated mind took a moment to process your question. 

His eyes darted to Ratio, who was silently mouthing "no" to him. But Aventurine, still under the influence of alcohol, blurted out his next words.

"Well... yeah."

Ratio's face paled more, and he pinched the bridge of his nose again, groaning in frustration.

Your heart sank further. The realization that they had not only forgotten to bring you food, but had also eaten without you, was like a punch to the gut.

You felt a mixture of disappointment and hurt wash over you, and it took all your self-control to maintain your composure.

Ratio shot Aventurine a harsh glare, his anger at his partner's drunken carelessness obvious.

Aventurine finally seemed to realize the implications of his words and the impact on you. A hint of soberness flashed across his features. "Oh,"

 Ratio tried to offer an apology. "We're sorry, we didn't mean to make you wait and…"

But you interrupted him, your voice filled with a mix of frustration and disappointment. "It's fine," you said, although it was clear that it wasn't. 

You turned away from them, walking towards the kitchen. "I'll see what I can scrounge up for myself."

 Ratio and Aventurine watched you walk away, their alcohol-dulled minds finally comprehending the gravity of their actions.

"Nice going, genius," Ratio said through gritted teeth, glaring at Aventurine.

Aventurine's drunkenness seemed to wane, replaced by a hint of guilt. "I didn't mean to..."  

Ratio let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand over his face. "I know, Vasha, but you made it worse."

"I just... I wasn't thinking straight," he murmured.

Ratio pinched the bridge of his nose again, his patience wearing thin. "You never think straight when you're drunk."

Before Aventurine could respond, Ratio cut him off. "Just... go take a shower, sober up a bit."

Aventurine nodded sheepishly, knowing that he had messed up. "Yeah, you're right."

He wobbled a little but managed to steady himself before stumbling to the bathroom.

Ratio let out another sigh, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

He let out another weary sigh, still feeling the effects of the alcohol but regaining more soberness. He walked into the kitchen, where you were searching through the cupboards.

Ratio leaned against the doorway, watching you rummage through the cupboards.

The silence between you two was heavy, the tension from before still hanging in the air.

Ratio cleared his throat, trying to break the silence. "Hey," he began, his voice hesitant. 

You didn't turn around, continuing to search the cupboards for something to eat, your frustration evident in your tense movements.

Ratio could tell you were mad, and he didn't blame you.

Although at the time, the word 'mad' wasn't right for you. 

"Darling," he said softly, taking a few steps closer to you, "Can I..."

He reached out a hand, as if to touch your shoulder, but then hesitated, unsure if you would welcome his touch. 

"Go get the bed ready for Aven to lie down, you should do the same," you said, in a tense voice. 

At no time did you turn around, you kept turning your back on him while you pulled out a pan and oil. 

He withdrew his hand.

"I... okay," he mumbled.

He left the kitchen, heading towards the bedroom, still feeling the effects of the alcohol in his veins.

He turned and walked away, leaving you alone in the kitchen. Ratio went to check on Aventurine in the bathroom, hoping his partner would sober up a bit faster.

Meanwhile, you continued to prepare something to eat, your movements still tense and frustrated.

With one hand, you rubbed your eyes quickly, almost frustrated. 

Ratio leaned against the bathroom door frame, watching Aventurine dry his hair with a towel.

"How are you feeling?" Ratio asked.

Aventurine let out a small groan, his head still feeling heavy. "Like I should never drink again."

Ratio chuckled weakly. "That's what you always say, and yet here we are." 

Aventurine hung the towel on a rack and ran a hand over his damp hair, still looking a bit dazed.

"Yeah, I know," he muttered, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub.

He buried his face in his hands, groaning. 

Ratio crossed his arms over his chest, watching his partner's struggle.

"Well, at least you're a little more sober now," Ratio noted.

Aventurine let out a tired sigh, lifting his face from his hands. "Yeah, I guess... But I still feel like crap."

Ratio nodded in understanding. "That's what happens when you drink too much," he said, but there was a hint of worry beneath his words.

"Come, let's go to the room," he added, as he extended a hand to him to get up. 

Aventurine grabbed Ratio's hand, allowing his partner to pull him up.

He stumbled a bit, still a bit unsteady on his feet, but managed to stay upright.

"Aeons, I need to sleep," Aventurine mumbled, rubbing his temple with his free hand.

  Ratio helped him into the room, his arm around his partner's waist to provide support.

"I can imagine," Ratio said, guiding Aventurine to the bed.

Aventurine sat down on the bed, groaning again as he leaned back against the pillows.

Ratio sat down next to him, a concerned expression on his face.

"You really need to take it easy next time," Ratio warned.

Aventurine closed his eyes, still massaging his temples. "Yeah, I know, I know..."

Ratio glanced at the closed bedroom door, his mind still on you and the situation in the kitchen. 

You forced yourself into the room, taking a deep breath. 

Ratio looked up as you entered the room, his expression still laced with tension.

He could tell by your face that you were probably feeling bad.

Aventurine opened his eyes, wincing as the light hit his sensitive eyes.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said weakly, pushing himself up to sit more upright on the bed.

You looked at your hands again before walking to the bed where they were. 

"Take this," you said, extending a glass of water and two pills for each. 

At no time did you look into their eyes, at most you lifted their chests, but not at their faces. 

Ratio took the painkillers and cup of water from you, noting your distant demeanor.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice soft.

They both downed the pills, feeling the effects on their alcohol-muddled minds.

Aventurine watched you, feeling a pang of shame and guilt.

"Sweetheart... we're sorry-" he began, but you cut him off.

"It's okay, go to sleep," you said quietly, your voice betraying your shaky tone."i'm going to eat, rest well." 

Ratio's grip on the glass tightened a bit as he listened to your words.

He could sense the hurt and frustration beneath your calm facade.

"But...are you-" Aventurine started, but trailed off as you turned away, walking out of the room. 

You didn't like this at all. 

You were in the dining room, having dinner at 2am. 

Your eyes were a little itchy, but maybe you were being a little exaggerated. 

But you couldn't help but feel single in some way. That was when you weren't in a relationship with them. 

Ratio and Aventurine lay down in bed, both still feeling the effects of the alcohol.

Ratio stared up at the ceiling, his mind still preoccupied with his worries.

Aventurine shifted uncomfortably on the bed, the guilt and shame gnawing at him.

"Maybe we should try to talk to them...?" Ratio mumbled.

Aventurine let out a weary sigh, burying his face in the pillow.

"I don't think they want to talk to us at the moment," he muttered, his words muffled by the pillow.

Ratio grimaced, realizing that Aventurine was probably right.

"Yeah, you're probably right..." he said, his voice subdued. 

"I'm sure tomorrow they will forget everything," he said, caressing Ratio's cheek. 

  Ratio leaned into Aventurine's touch, finding comfort in his partner's presence. "I hope so..."

He was about to say something else, but a yawn cut him off.

"I'm exhausted," he mumbled, feeling the tiredness finally catching up with him.

Aventurine nodded, approaching him. 

"Yeah, me too..." he murmured, his eyelids growing heavy.

"I'll try to make it up to them tomorrow," he muttered.

Ratio hummed in agreement, feeling his own eyelids droop. 

Their words trailed off as they both surrendered to the pull of sleep, their alcohol-sated minds finally shutting down for the night.

Meanwhile, you finished eating your dinner, the food not helping to improve your mood.

You felt frustrated and a tad sad, despite trying to appear indifferent.

The next day, and in itself, the days that followed, you forced yourself a little to act normal, until everything was 'normal' for your mind.

All for the sake of your job and relationship.

Well, you could say that everything was fine and as before.

Except that by the 'as before', it had become somewhat distorted.

In a way, they stay attentive and worried, or so you said to yourself.

But like that in a way, you felt like they had become more bossy, so to speak.

But that's what they behaved for you.

You couldn't tell if it was how they behaved or you were just getting a little fed up with the most basic things, you have to plan and do.

I mean, you were both of them's assistant, but not the housekeeper. 

Despite your efforts to act normal, there was a growing sense of irritation and frustration within you.

The lines between assistant and housekeeper often blurred, and it felt like they expected you to take on more than what was expected of your role.

Still, you tried to be understandable, you knew that their work wasn't the easiest and funniest ever. 

You tried your best to push these feelings aside, but it was becoming harder and harder. 

Days turned into weeks, and the strain on your nerves continued.

The tasks they asked you for went beyond what was reasonable for an assistant.

Your own responsibilities seemed to take a backseat, replaced by their demands and needs.

You felt overlooked and unappreciated, like your efforts and contributions were taken for granted.

Each time you tried to bring up your concerns, they brushed them off, assuring you that they were just being "busy" with work.

Or as they used to say, "by chance" they always did something together that kept them busy. 

The sense of imbalance in the relationship continued to weigh on you, eroding your patience and confidence. 

It became harder to ignore the frustration that gnawed at the pit of your stomach.

You felt like you were walking on eggshells, always trying to please them and meet their expectations.

But no matter how much you tried, it never seemed like enough.

©cherrylovelycherry do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[thefiery-phoenix]

Hello! Is it ok if I request Yandere headcanons for Gitae kim? It’s ok if you’re not ok with it! Also just wanted to say that I really love all your Yandere content!

YANDERE GITAE KIM HEADCANONS

Freaking hell, he creeps me TF out but why does he look so good, it's just unfair

Please, for the sake of your own sanity, RUN. Just RUN. That's it. Or at least, run as much as you can since he'll end up finding you anyway since he's the leader of a freaking Cartel and the son of Gapryong Kim after all and is a complete sadistic beast in the form of a man. It's rare that he would ever develop feelings for someone and even if he does, he'll be too egoistic and arrogant and proud to admit it, he'll treat you more like a pet of some sort to be precise. But you're HIS little pet, that he loves in his own dark twisted way. It doesn't matter how you meet this deranged flesh eating cannibal here, the second he sets his eyes on you and his mouth curves upwards into a smirk, that's when you're a goner and you might as well just kiss goodbye to your life and freedom

It was a usual day for you and you were walking back to your house after a long tiring day. You put on some earphones and walked down the alleyway, humming to your favorite tunes feeling the cool breeze against your skin. You tried to ignore the men lurking in the alleyway with beer bottles and cigarettes strewn on the ground as they looked drunk and intoxicated while their lecherous gazes landed on you, leering at you and making all sorts of lewd perverse comments about your body that made your skin crawl. You put your head down and didn't want to get into some kind of confrontation which was the last thing you wanted, when one of them ended up grabbing you by your wrist and you screeched on top of your lungs and thrashed around for all you were worth, pleading with them to let you go as tears streamed down your cheeks and your neatly combed hair was now frizzled and became unkempt with a few of your hair strands falling into your face. One of the men ended up striking you hard across your face as you whimpered in pain and clutched at your now stinging cheek and trembled. Before one of them was about to tear off your shirt, in the blink of an eye, the man's hand was now on the ground leaking crimson as the man screamed in agony and fear and you felt your heart stop beating when your gaze landed on a raven haired guy with blood splattered across his well toned muscular chest and had a black leather jacket with a cruel smile etched on his face as he watched the man fall to the ground, whimpering at the sight of his severed hand

What the man did next would remain ingrained into your memory forever. The stranger with the axe swung his axe around and the head of the man who'd been tormenting you now lay on the ground, his crimson blood painting the gravel of the ground crimson as he cut off a chunk of his flesh and bit into it and tore through the meat like an apex predator. At this point you didn't know if you were safe even after being supposedly saved by this man in front of you as his eyes landed on your whimpering and trembling figure and he smirked sadistically. "Relax little girl, I'm not going to eat you...unless you want me to'' he spoke as his eyes surveyed across your features. You reminded him of a scared vulnerable little prey, a weak little lamb that he could take advantage of and the mere thought of it just excited him as his eyes glinted with malice. Before he could even say something else, your fear consumed you and you ended up blacking out and losing your consciousness. You were about to pummel straight to the ground before he grabbed you by your waist and held you in his arms as he let out a soft chuckle, amused that you fell for him already which did give him a bit of an ego boost

You were so weak, so helpless and so fragile like a little doll that he would love to have in his grasp. He wonders how you'd react if you'd see him in his full glory while he beats up people and murders them on a usual day, you wouldn't even last a second without trembling and crying like the helpless little lamb that you were, which was cute in his opinion. "Looks like I'm takin' you home, eh?'' he said as he hoisted you over his shoulders like a sack of flour and fished out your ID to find your address and made his way to your house. You were quite surprised when you woke up the next day in your own bed and you felt your head was slightly groggy as you massaged your temples and sighed to yourself, secretly glad you were away from that cannibal. You made your way into the living room only to find the same guy napping on your couch, with blood still splattered over his chest as your eyes widened and your face paled and you let out a shrill screech of bloody murder. "Damn it woman...can't even let me nap after I saved you...'' grumbled the guy as he looked at you and his eyes narrowed slightly. He enjoyed watching you squirm and fidget nervously, he could see you were torn between trying to be a good host and thanking him for saving you yesterday to contemplating passing out again. "You know...I expect some sort of thanks from you little girl'' he said as he got up from your couch and strode over to you, his massive frame towering over your body as you gulped nervously

"I-I could give you money if you want...please don't kill me'' you whimpered. "Silly naive girl, who said I wanted your money...you're interesting...I'm keeping you with me'' he said with a smirk. You tried to make a run for it when he grabbed your hands and pinned your arms above your head and cooed at you condescendingly, "Well now that's just rude isn't it? You should thank your savior properly. Now don't make this hard for both of us...be a good little girl for your savior, would you?" he asked as he patted your cheek a few times and caressed your cheek as he lifted you in his arms yet again and you let out a nervous squeak. "Don't you think you should get to know me or something before you literally kidnap me?" you asked him as he looked at you with an amused smile on his face. "Plenty of time to do all that get to know you crap. I'm Gitae by the way since you're so insistent on introductions and crap and this isn't a kidnapping...I'm taking what's mine'' he said as he carried you out of your house

What he wants, he gets. That's it. He wasn't going to waste a single second without taking you back with him, of course, he could have kidnapped you in the night but the element of surprise was what made things more interesting for him. Your cute little reactions to whatever he did riled him up so much. No way was he going to let you go now. The next thing you knew, you were sitting in a black car with him next to you and a few other people who had tattoos as you couldn't believe what you'd gotten yourself into. You silently let tears stream down your face and you looked out the window. Gitae wrapped a black jacket around you since you were still in your night clothes as he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer to him. Don't get fooled by his actions though, he's as unpredictable as the weather

If you thought Samuel or Eugene were messed up psychopaths, allow me to introduce you all to the poster boy of being a RED BANNER. He's obsessive, manipulative and won't hesitate to literally gaslight you. While he won't physically hurt you, the same cannot be said to those around you unfortunately. He wants your attention on him, he wants you to cling to his arm like the helpless little doll that you are and look at him with those wide eyes of yours, being all pliant and dependent on him. Whenever you squirm when he touches you he just finds it so amusing and cute, he can't help but put you on his lap when he has his meetings with the men from his cartel while you have a pink collar around you pretty little neck that has HIS name on it so people will know you belong to him. As if those love bites and hickeys on your neck, thighs and arms aren't a testament of you being his. He likes marking you wherever he can, you're his property, HIS doll. Of course, anyone who looks at you for a moment too long or if their gaze wanders to a certain part of your body that belongs to him, he's just going to gouge their eyes out like knife cutting through a slab of butter. And then he'd kiss you on your soft kissable lips possessively and aggressively like a dying man needing air, running his hands over your body till you're literally gasping for breath, in front of everyone else to show those losers that they won't ever be able to have you as their minds are now ingrained with the dire consequences of laying their eyes on Gitae Kim's girl

Whatever hopes you have of escaping from him, it's best to get it out of your mind before he ends up killing and eating one of your dear loved ones right in front of you. You're his little pet, he won't tolerate any form of disobedience from you and he'll tell you how it's your fault they're dead and it's all because you dared to leave him. Your punishment is getting handcuffed to the bed till you're allowed to walk. It's best to just accept his advances towards you because there is no escaping from this deranged psycho at all...

[bluebasie]

Giyuu Tomioka's kindness deserves some more recognition!!

Am I the only one who hates when people interpret Giyuu Tomioka from KNY as some kind of unfeeling and mean person with the personality of a rock when so many scenes with him clearly show how much of a thoughtful, kind, and empathetic character he is??

His introduction scene is already an example of this when he (a person who has been slaying demons for 8 years and has a deep hatred for them) decides to spare a demon just because he saw Tanjiro and Nezuko’s bond and decided to give them a chance. I’m sure most everyone in the KNY fandom recognizes this, but I don’t think some people REALLY understand the implications of this action. The moment he decides to spare Nezuko he essentially becomes a traitor to the demon slayer corps which, by the rules or the corps, qualifies him for execution. Tomioka quite literally gave up his life and pride to spare a pair of siblings he didn't know just to give them a fair chance in a world that is clearly unfair. There's also the fact that after knocking Nezuko out in the first episode, even though he didn't have to, he put Nezuko’s robe back on to keep her warm, wiped the blood off of her face, and gave her a muzzle. Keep in mind though that demons can't get sick from the cold or anything and the cut would have healed itself. Tomioka put the robe on and wiped the blood purely for her comfort. 

Going back to the fact that Tomioka put his whole life on the line for these siblings, It’s not like he just abandoned them when they got caught. He fully stood with them when the Kamado siblings were brought before the hashira. Again this moment was actually HUGE even though his status as a ‘traitor’ lasted only two episodes. In the moment of the trial he essentially knew there was a good chance he would be executed but also, he knew that his pride/reputation was gone from his peers. (Pride was very important in Japan during this time period) One could argue that Tomioka already wasn't regarded well among the hashira but at least he was at least a little respected, but, as a traitor, you lose ALL respect. One could also argue that Tomioka didn't really care about his life and honestly, I could agree to that statement but there is one thing that overrules both of these points. His loyalty towards Ubuyashiki. It's well known that the Master is well regarded among the hashira and even the master being disappointed in one of them would be terrible for them. Imagine how bad it must be for one of the Hashira if Ubuyashiki had a full on disdain towards one of them. Tomioka was fully ready to take the chance of being deemed a traitor by Ubuyashiki by coming to the Hashira meeting to vouch for Tanjiro instead of running away or something. 

Then there is how Tomioka acted as a child. There isn't much shown about how he was before spiraling into a more isolated lifestyle after sabito’s death but from what we can see, His parents died when he was really young and he grew up with his older sister, Tsukato. His sister hid him from a demon when they were attacked to spare him and overcome by guilt, he blamed himself for her death and believed he should have died. This is one of the first examples of his self-deprecating thoughts after losing a person close to him and we can see them again when Sabito dies and also when Tanjirou ‘dies’. This shows how hard losses hit him to the point of causing himself to devoid himself of emotion because of the sheer amount of sadness his relationship's deaths brought him. The fact that he still wears Sabito and Tsukato’s haoris together as a memento for 8 years just solidifies it for me

There's also a few scenes post war that i’d like to mention such as the scene where Tomioka openly cries over Tanjiros death and exclaims that he’s failed him before apologizing to Nezuko. This scene also shows his tendency to put burdens unto himself in order to let others be happy. He also rejects help from the kakushi to sit beside Tanjiro and only after he confirms Tanjiro is alright does he allow himself to relax. Then there is the mention from the fan book that while Giyuu was in a coma after the war Nezuko fixed Tomioka’s haori that was previously shred to pieces during the war because she knew his haori meant a lot to him. Once he woke up and found out that she had fixed his haori and visited him every night, he was so moved that he sent a large multitude of gifts to her. It is also shown that after the war he allows himself to be happier and smile more. He is VERY clearly not emotionless.

The last thing I want to mention is his relationships over the manga with his fellow hashira. His friendship with shinobu may seem one-sided, Tomioka definitely cares for her wellbeing which can be seen when he asks Tanjiro about her during the Soba scene and in the fanbook where the hashira opinions of each other shows that he notices her fake smile. Tomioka knew shinobu’s sister Kanae so I’m sure he relates to shinobu about their common grief towards their deceased older sisters. Then There is the Uzui family which befriended Tomioka after the war and after Uzui’s first child was born, Giyuu was allowed to hold them. This could mean that after the war Tomioka opened up more, so the Uzui’s were able to notice Tomioka’s thoughtfulness. Then of course there are the Shinazugawa scenes. The infamous ohagi scene, where Giyuu gets so happy that he knows Sanemi’s favorite food so then he can like him rather than hate him that he flashes one of the three smiles he ever shows in the manga. There’s also the small speech he gives Kiriya at the final pillar meeting where he talks about how his father would be proud of him and how grateful they are to the Ubuyashiki family which ended up bringing Kiriya to tears before sharing another smile with Sanemi.

It is very clear that Giyuu Tomioka cares heavily for Justice and for those he is close to the point where his main character story is about his guilt to those he failed and about his feelings and connections with others so please please please stop portraying him as insensitive, mean, and emotionless!!!

Tanjiro, Nezuko, and Giyuu are Siblings fr

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk :)

Had to add this pic lol

[svetamillss]

HAII can you write about sae byeok, reader had a stressfull day and sae help her cum, love ur writting btw 😽

Good girl🫦

Featuring: Kang Sae Byeok x Reader(f)

Summary: she decided to help you after a hard day!

Warning: NSFW

A/N: Thank you very much for this wonderful order!!

🫦🫦🫦

You returned home later in the evening. You are very tired at work, many of your colleagues got sick and all their work fell on you with a large load. You had hope that at least you would be paid for extra work, otherwise it would be unfair.

You entered your modest apartment with Sae Byeok, it was very quiet, you realized that the girl was most likely lying in the room and reading a book or even fell asleep.

You took off your heels and quietly entered the bedroom where your girlfriend was lying reading a book.

- You're back, I was already starting to worry. - she said, putting the book aside and looking at your tired face.

- Many of my colleagues got sick and gave me all their work, I didn't even have time to write to you. I'm so angry, it's just horrible! I don't have to do anything for them at all, God forbid they won't pay me! - you said irritably, you didn't even have the strength to change clothes, Sae Byeok watched you with sympathy.

- I see you're very tired. Usually after work you run straight to the shower.

- I'm so tired..sorry..I'll get some rest and will definitely take a shower and change my clothes. - after your words, your girlfriend carefully climbed on you, you were very surprised by her behavior.

- What are you doing?

- I want to help you relax. - she said without a drop of embarrassment, it turned you on even more.

- And what are you going to do?

- You'll find out now. Close your eyes and enjoy. - you listened to her, closing your eyes, your sensitivity increased even more, Sae Byeok knew about it. That's why she suggested it.

She came down to your hips, gently lifting your pencil skirt. She had a view of your black lace panties, she put two fingers to your pussy through the fabric of panties, you immediately moaned from the action.

- You're already wet, honey. Now don't think about work and colleagues, think only about me, okay? - having said that, she pressed harder on your clitoris, you just nodded convulsively, but it was enough for her.

She slowly took off the unnecessary black cloth, as if she was in no hurry. Then she took a pose so that her face was at your pussy, her hot breath in this place literally makes you cum, but you endure, because this is just the beginning. She runs her tongue over your folds, gently, fearing to hurt somehow, then the turn comes your clitoris, she seems to play with it with her tongue, licking and sucking it, you can't say anything, you just moan from these incredible sensations. But Sae Byeok is not going to stop there. She sticks her tongue into your hole, as if stretching it in front of something else.

- Bear with it, honey, it's still early. - she says sweetly when she moved her face away from your pussy, putting two fingers to the entrance at once.

- Okay.. - you answered briefly, to which she smiled.

She inserted two fingers at once. The movements were different. First slow and smooth, then sharp and fast. Her fingers were very dexterous, so she fucked you with them better than any dick.

While Sae Byeok was fucking you with her fingers, she approached your red face and kissed your lips. You could feel the taste of your juices on your lips.

- Good girl, will you cum for me? - she gently said in your ear.

- Yes..

- Cum pronouncing my name, honey. - you nodded and she began to fuck you faster, kissing you on the neck and chest.

You didn't last long, in a couple of minutes you cum on her hand, shouting her name.

- I have a good girl. - she said teasingly, licking the fingers that were in your sperm.

Then after a little rest, you went to the shower, Sae Byeok kept you company, taking care of you, and then you both fell asleep in each other's tender arms.

🫦🫦🫦

[erwinsvow]

had the worst day ever😭 i need some shy!reader and rafe

im so sorry baby hope this makes you feel better ♡

bad days always felt the same—never ending, dragging on and on while you're too tired, bones exhausted and muscles weeping. your head hurts from the overthinking, and though you're hardly one to get mad about silly things, today you are—mad. it must be something you've picked up from your boyfriend.

everything feels unfair, feels wrong or like it's about to go wrong. you can't even describe it if someone were to ask, but you know your boyfriend will ask, and that you need to get an answer ready since he doesn't settle for your silence, even though today you'd really wish he would.

from the morning that started off late to the afternoon that dragged on, the barista that messed up your order and then was rude to you about it, nothing was going your way. the coffee had just been the tipping point—that was the one thing meant to cheer you up.

when you drag your tired body and achy head to tannyhill, you stop to glance in the mirror in the hallway.

this was your tipping point, how messy your hair was, smudged mascara from when you cried in your car outside the coffee shop and the nail you chipped slamming the door. everything sucked, and though rafe always made it better, you didn't even want to see him when you looked like this.

you want to turn around and go home, but your feet still drag you to rafe's bedroom. your brain knows he'll make you feel better, though it takes everything in your willpower to open the door.

"hey, kid. how was your day?" the second he asks, glancing up from his laptop to look up at you, you burst into tears. he rushes over, putting his hands on your shoulders to keep you upright, to calm you down. "woah, what the hell. what's wrong?"

words don't come out, just sobs. you don't think rafe's ever seen you like this before, but it doesn't take him long to bring you into a hug, and you cry against his chest until his shirt is all wet.

"what's goin' on, baby? someone do somethin'? huh?" rafe is a problem solver at his core—but you know there's no one person to blame for today, except maybe yourself. though you wouldn't mind a little roughhousing, you don't think rafe's gonna be open to beating you up. your words come out slurred in a mumble of tears.

you rattle off your day in between sobs, and when he sits you down on his bed, he's a little less concerned because at least you're okay.

"c'mon," he says, and you lean against his shoulder. "get it all out and then y'can take a hot shower. i'll get dinner. s'gonna be fine."

though you're not saying many words, and a part of you had thought he'd be upset that you cry over every little thing, everything rafe says and does makes you feel better. when you sniffle, moving to wipe your tears, he holds your face in his hands, running a thumb across your cheek to wipe them away. you lean into his hand.

"s-sorry about your shirt."

"don't worry 'bout that, kid. you feelin' better?"

"a little."

"c'mon, clothes off. let's go shower. water as hot as you want it." you perk up, even laughing a little—rafe thinks the water you use will scald your skin.

"really?" you question, smiling up at him.

"really."

"thanks, rafe."

"yeah." he follows you to the shower, and though it didn't take many words or much time, you feel better already.

[wonton4rang]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roll the dice ¡!

pairing: bnd legal line x reader.

warnings: +18, smut, breeding, mentioned of birth control and pills, idk.

summary: bnd legal line mtl to use condom/ like breeding.

note: this came to me in a vision fr fr.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sungho; he is a certified lover boy, like a husband material type of guy so i personally don't think he would like to breed you :( unless ofc it's to actually have a kid and not for the fantasy if you know what i mean. he would get worried about you because he knows how pills or birth control might affect you and he wouldn't like to purposely put you through that. it might happen accidentally tho and i can see him with wide open eyes and looking at you in panic after he finishes inside by mistake, he couldn't hold it this time and he is so ashamed and sorry :(( constantly whispering against your cheeks littles "i'm sorry, baby, so sorry" it's mainly because he feels guilty but you reassure him that is fine, you are under birth control for a reason!!

riwoo; i think he would do what you think and what you like, you like him to wear a condom? he will. you like him to come inside? he will. you like both but it depends on your mood and the day and on the weather and the conversations you've got that same day??? he's fine with that too!! just let him know please because otherwise, how would he know? riwoo is very similar to sungho's case but this one is kinda nonchalant about the why itself, he just knows he will do whatever makes you feel and be good. he just loves you so much but he is also kinda scared to ask because he doesn't wanna be nosey or you to think he wants to do something you don't :')

jaehyun; well, i got you news. bad or good it'll depend on your own perspective. but this dude??? he would want to breed the shit out of you (or into you) he could and will get so into the moment that it would just come naturally, he couldn't hold it or he didn't want to, i see him as a very submissive person when it comes to sex but he definitely also have his days where he would take control, still having you ride him as usual but controlling your pace and holding your hips on place when he felt his dick twitch and his orgasm so near "please, stay put, let me come inside this time" but it was more of an announcement, he was just letting you know because even though you let him, he wasn't able to hold it anymore :( poor boy is just so sensitive and so into you.

taesan; i think he wouldn't directly be into it bUT taesan is also a very curious boy so i just know he would like to try it at least to know what it is about. one time won't hurt anybody, right? problem was it wasn't just one time. he is not the type to be angry often but he is one to hold hard feelings for a while afterwards so i strongly expect angry sex w taesan after an argument probably over some jealousy or a disagreement about something in the house and he just has to demonstrate you that he is the man of the relationship, having sex with you and looking right into your eyes before coming deep into your pulsating cunt. you wouldn't say anything about it because honestly?? the way he looked down on you, how his cock throbbed inside of you and the way his wet lips kissed yours was so hot and endearing that you just enjoyed.

leehan; "jaehyun does it sometimes" he would say when trying to convince you "his girlfriend let's him, she doesn't mind" and you would just laugh a little bit before answering "well, i do, so forget about it and help me with this, would you?" he would be pouty all day long, complaining about how unfair it was for you to not let him try it at least once!! he was dating you and he was not planning on leaving your side so that means he will NEVER get to try it. omg, he was gonna faint. but you were too soft, too into him to forbid him and take that away from his grasp without even letting him taste it once. "babe" you called "about what you said earlier" his eyes flew to yours when he lifted his eyebrows in expectation "i am willing to do it, but just this time, yes? it really gets uncomfortable with the pills sometimes" and he would be so happy and grateful for you, fucking a baby into you all night long, because yes, you said just this time, not how many times.

so after giving you my thoughts on each, I'll go as it follows:

MOST.

jaehyun. yeah, for the first time in those mtl things i do the #1 is not leehan but goddamn it, jaehyun just screams "breeding" and then sobbing when he comes down of his high and thinks y'all are gonna have triplets (not that he doesn't want to but nOT NOW)

leehan. been there, done that, he would like to do it just to laugh about it, for the sake of it. he would enjoy it so much too omg (i need him!!)

taesan. already explained this one but he is basically with one foot on each side, is not that he doesn't like it but he won't do it on a daily basis because he doesn't think it's that big of a deal.

riwoo. like taesan, it's not that he doesn't like it but he would just go with the flow of whatever you want.

sungho. yeah, how bout no? <3 he ain't dealing w shit after that and he cares too much about you to make you worried or through some pain or something w the pills so yeah. but he does kinda like it, he just can't enjoy it fully because all the preoccupations won't let him.

LEAST.

[weird-is-life]

Sweet talk

Pairing: Spencer reid x fem!reader

Summary: You tell Spencer how handsome you think he is and he gets flustered

Warnings: use of y/n and petnames, fluff

Words: 0.6k Masterlist

A/N: English is not my first language, so please excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes. I'm sorry this is trash lmao

Spencer is reading on the other side of the couch and you are, well were reading too. You stopped for a second to give your eyes a little rest, but Spencer's pretty face distracted you.

You are now just looking at him, wondering how can he be so handsome. It's actually really unfair, that he gets to look like that.

The sun shining from outside is making it even worse for you, because it perfectly highlights his features and it makes his gorgeous brown locks look even prettier.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Spencer breaks you out of your thoughts, his eyebrows are drawn up in a question. Your cheeks go pink, but you are only a little embarrassed about getting caught.

"Nothing" you mumble, before you break into the biggest grin,"it's just, that you are so pretty!"

It's now Spencer's turn to blush. Suddenly, you realise you don't say how handsome he is to him as often as you should, so you make it your mission to tell him how handsome he is right now.

You crawl across the couch to his side and put your legs over his, so you are basically sitting in his lap.

"It is actually unfair, Spence!" you dramatically pout at him, "how did you get so handsome?" you playfully poke his cheek.

"Stop...."Spencer begs, as his cheeks get visibly redder.

"I'm just telling you the truth" you giggle, " I mean, look at you!"

"You have such a beautiful hair, how is it so soft? " you say as you play with it, " and such a lovely skin, have I told you, I'm jealous of it? No? Well, i am" Spencer just shakes his head, you don't know if he's answering your questions or if he's shaking his head to stop your praises.

"Do you know what I also love?" you grin at him.

"What?" his asks, as if he wants you to humor him.

"Your eyes", you say softly, " they are the prettiest ever. I could look at them for hours." You are perhaps being a little dramatic, but it's all true.

"y/n-" Spencer would be lying if he said, he isn't enjoying your sweet words, but he's never had someone say these things to him. Yeah, Derek calls him 'pretty boy', but that's just as a teasing. He knows, when you say it, you mean it and your loving looking eyes are studying him so closely, that he thinks, he might just melt under your gaze.

Spencer is just about to say something, when you speak again,"But most importantly, I love your kind heart and your beatiful mind, it's my favourite thing about you how selfless and caring you are-"

That's it, Spencer can't let you ramble anymore, because he knows, he'll cry if he does. He tackles you gently to the side. "Wha-,"you start.

"Baby, I love the sweet praises, but I m-might just cry, if you continue" Spencer confesses and frankly, he's not far from crying.

"I'm sorry, d-did I say something wrong?" you immediately sober up from your cheery, teasing mood.

"No no, sweetheart. Far from it, it's just- nobody has ever told me all this at once before, i-i guess it feels a little overwhelming hearing all of it, that's all" he explains and your worry fades away a little.

"Really? I didn't say anything wrong? Because if I did, you should tell me Spence-"

"Really, sweetheart."

"Promise?" you ask, just to be sure.

"Promise." He smiles at you and can't help it, so you hug him tightly. " I'm sorry," you mumble into his chest.

"For what? I told you, you didn't do anything wrong."

"For not saying how wonderful you are often enough," you pout.

"But you do, " Spencer argues," you literally told me at least 5 times today, how handsome you think I am."

"Still, it's not enough," you stubbornly reply, which makes Spencer chuckle.

"Okay, pretty girl, whatever you say," he smiles again at you, before pecking your lips.

"I love you, Spence," you tenderly say and fuck, Spencer doesn't know what he did to deserve this, to deserve you.

"I love you more, sweetheart," he replies, eyes almost watering again from your affection. You sigh happily at that and continue to cuddle him. Both of your books long forgotten.

-

-

-

Thank u for reading! Hope you liked it, feedback is always appreciated.

Have a great day☀️peace out

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hi! Could I request full HCs for MC getting in trouble/arrested for something they didn't do, but nobody believes them? Eventually they're proven innocent but maybe even the M6 might have a little flicker of doubt for a moment?

The Arcana HCs: MC gets falsely arrested

Julian

If you've ever worried that he can't relate to you in the past, he certainly can now! He's been in handcuffs plenty of times -

On a more serious note, he's not giving up on you for a second. Every moment that he's allowed to be by your side, he's there, and he's taking the best care of you that he possibly can

He doesn't doubt you for a second (he remembers what it was like) but he does doubt himself

What if this is secretly his fault? What if he did something he doesn't remember doing, and you got mistaken for him? What if he made someone angry so they framed you to get back at him?

Will suggest lying to take your place multiple times and might actually try it if you and Portia don't stop him

Might also suggest actually committing some kind of legal infraction of his own so he can at least join you in there

So relieved when you're acquitted that it's all he can talk about to everyone he meets for the next two months. Rubs it in the face of every friend who ever doubted you

Asra

They're annoyed, more than anything. And shocked. But mostly annoyed

Not at you, of course! No, he's annoyed at the fact that you're being confined somewhere that he can't be for you and that you're being treated so poorly

When you tell them the charges against you aren't true, they believe you completely, but truthfully they're less concerned with your innocence and more concerned with your wellbeing

Can and will attempt to break you out regardless

Would much rather blip you out of where you're being held and start a completely new life from scratch somewhere else then let the process drag on and on, watching you be silenced and doubted

Never misses a single visit

Never lets you feel like things are out of control. As long as you want to subject yourself to this, it's your decision, and as soon as you choose otherwise, say the word and you're both out

Immeasurably proud of you when you stick it out and are acquitted

Nadia

Furious. Absolutely furious. Seething with rage

A person of your character? Who holds the trust of the Countess herself and the admiration of the city?? Accused so recklessly???

Absolutely unacceptable

That said, she remains completely calm on the outside and allows things to proceed. She's been a fierce advocate of establishing a new, effective justice system, and she intends to see this through

Does her best not to extend her influence far enough to count as making the process unfair, but still ensures she gets to visit you at least once a day

There is a point as the evidence is assembled that she does find herself wondering, for a brief moment, if you really are guilty. If you forgot, if there were extenuating circumstances you can't tell her

And she hates herself for it as soon as she sees your face again

So smug when you're exonerated that the people who argued against you nearly make a run for the hills

Will make a point of publicly proclaiming your innocence after

Muriel

Triggered. Triggered. So. Very. Triggered

Hadn't heard anything about the incident itself until you were arrested, so he didn't know what to think until you told him you were innocent. Once you did, though, he believed you

He knows when someone's lying and when someone's telling the truth, and he needs to make sure that others can see your honesty

He also knows that he's not the person best suited to publicly helping you. Regardless of his circumstances, he has his own history in the cells that still make his stomach turn to walk past

He'll talk to Asra. He'll talk to Nadia. He'll put himself through hours of conversation with them and whoever else is determined to exonerate you, supplying every detail he has

And he'll brave the personal hell of seeing you live out the daily misery of his worst memories, behind the same bars, staring at the same stone walls, to be with you as the hours drag by

Beyond relieved when you (and he by extension) are freed and he can hide away in the woods with you to recover

Portia

She actually assumed the charges were true until you told her otherwise - you're her partner in crime for life, she's just wondering what pieces are missing to justify you and why she wasn't included

Until you tell her you're innocent, and she's furious

There is NO WAY you're getting falsely imprisoned on her watch. She will march to hell and back and drag whoever she needs to with her to get you out

Pushes nonstop both to have you acquitted and to sway public opinion about you. It feels like a hopeless task at first, but she doesn't give up and she has enough friends to pull it off

Might miss a visit or two, but never goes longer than a day without stopping to see you and always smuggles treats and comforts past the guards for you no matter how often you tell her not to

Actually manages to stage an impressive protest in your favor the day the decision is made

Takes you home and dotes on you nonstop afterwards ... and then victory marches you all around town to thank the helpful friends

Lucio

He tries to help you. He really, really does

He argues with the guards, screams at the people who sent for you to be arrested, and makes the racket of a lifetime

Which, unfortunately, only makes things worse

(Neither does him admitting to all of his own criminal history, in his attempt to argue that if he got forgiveness then you should too)

He's relieved when you tell him you didn't do it, and he clings to that belief like his life depends on it. You're the good thing in his life. Nobody takes away or denies him that good thing

All that pent up frustration needs an outlet of some kind, and that results in him hounding the assigned investigators instead into letting him help them

And help them he does - not with the books and papers, but with long nights and rabbit trails until the true culprit is found

One can imagine how proud he was to drag them by the collar to where you were, shaking the confession out of them and leaving with you. He deserves so many kisses and cookies for this -

[ineffable-endearments]

The Crow Road by Iain Banks

I finished The Crow Road and had a little time to think about it. I'll put my thoughts under a Keep Reading in case anyone is trying to avoid spoilers.

As I speculated before, I think it's likely that The Crow Road is more related to Good Omens in philosophy than in plot. I mean, it's not that the plots necessarily have nothing in common, and we could be very surprised in the end of course, but now that I've read the whole book, its philosophical commonalities with GO are both apparent and kind of inspiring. Also, if I were a writer, I'd be more interested in dropping hints about what themes are important than telegraphing my whole plot ahead of time.

So here, I will describe the book and point out themes that I believe may reappear in Good Omens 3.

This is a long post. If you read it, make a cup of [beverage of choice].

Update on 4/20/2024: I made a second post: The Crow Road and Good Omens: Further-Out Thoughts

Below are mentions of suicide, death/murder, and sexual acts.

The Crow Road centers around a character named Prentice McHoan, a university student in Scotland who starts to sort out his complicated relationship with his complicated family as he explores the mystery of his uncle Rory's disappearance. Although the book is mostly from Prentice's perspective, the narration jumps around in time with the McHoan family. There are quite a lot of important characters to keep track of; the bare-bones summary I put below doesn't even include some of the important ones. I wanted to make the summary even shorter and simpler than this, but the truth is that this book is not short or simple, and if I made the summary any simpler, it might be downright misleading.

There are at least three major cultural aspects of The Crow Road that I am inexperienced with: the overall culture in the 1950s-1980s (I was born in 1988, so of course wasn't here for the relevant decades), the international experience of the Gulf War (again, born in 1988), and the history and culture of Scotland itself (I'm USAmerican with only reading as a source). As a result, I'm sure there are important dimensions to the book that I've missed. If someone has a different perspective taking some of these things into account, I'd love to know about it.

Also, keep in mind, there is a great deal of descriptive writing in this book. There are a lot of pages about the geography of Scotland, and about Prentice as a kid, and about Prentice's father and uncles hanging out together in their youth, and about various family incidents, and about Prentice spending time with his brothers and friends. At first, these passages seem to just make things more confusing, and in my head, I accused them of being "filler." But they definitely serve a purpose. They're a way of showing and not telling the characters' attitudes and relationships to each other. More importantly, because we get to actually live these experiences with the characters, they are what give all the plot points below their deeper emotional impacts. In other words, the everyday experiences give the plot its deeper meaning. They resonate with one of the core themes in the novel: that our experiences in life, rather than any supposed existence after death, are what matters.

The Crow Road's story is like this:

Prentice is rather directionless in life, and he seems to have trouble investing any energy in his own future as he moons over his unrequited feelings for an idealized young woman named Verity. Soon, Verity ends up in a romance with Prentice's brother, Lewis, and Prentice feels that Lewis "stole" her from him. Prentice has also become estranged from his father, Kenneth, over spirituality. Prentice believes there has to be something more after death because he feels it would be incredibly unfair if people didn't get anything other than this one life; Kenneth is not only a passionate atheist, but is offended by the notion of an afterlife.

Prentice's uncle Hamish, Kenneth's brother, has always been religious, although his religion involves a number of bizarre and offbeat ideas of his own, with inspiration from more traditional Christian notions. Prentice is not really sure about this ideology, but he's willing to talk to Hamish about it and even participates during Hamish's prayers, whereas Kenneth is openly scornful of Hamish's beliefs. Hamish interprets this as Prentice being on "his side."

Prentice has a few opportunities to go back and talk to his father, and is begged to do so by his mom, Mary, with whom his relationship is still good. Mary doesn't want either of the men to give up their inner ideas about the universe; she just wants them to agree to disagree and move on as a family. Prentice says he will visit, but he just keeps putting it off and off and off.

Prentice acquires a folder containing some of his missing uncle Rory's notes in the process of hooking up with Rory's former girlfriend, Janice Rae, who seems to have taken a shine to Prentice because he reminds her of Rory. Using the contents of the folder, Prentice wants to piece together the great literary work that Rory left unfinished, which Rory titled Crow Road; however, it becomes apparent that Rory didn't turn his concepts into anything substantial and only had a bunch of disconnected notes and ideas. He hadn't even decided whether Crow Road would be a novel, a play, or something else. The few bits of Rory's poetry for Crow Road read are bleak and depressing.

Prentice also spends a lot of time with a young woman named Ash. They've been good friends since childhood and seem to have a somewhat flirtatious dynamic now, but they aren't in a romantic relationship; mostly, they drink and hang out together. Ash tells Prentice bluntly to get his life back on track when she finds out he's failing at school, avoiding his family, and engaging in shoplifting. She is a voice of reason, and when Prentice insists to her that he's just a failure, she reminds him that actually, he's just a kid.

Prentice's efforts to figure out Rory's story or location stagnate, and he continues to fail at school and avoid his father. He then receives word that Kenneth was killed while debating faith with Hamish. In fact, Kenneth dies after a fall from a church lightning rod, which he was climbing in an act of defiance against Hamish's philosophy when it was struck by lightning; Hamish is convinced that Kenneth had incurred God's wrath. Ash is there for support when Prentice finds out about the death.

With Ash's help, Prentice returns to his hometown again to help manage Kenneth's affairs. Prentice speaks with a very shaken Hamish, who is handling Kenneth's death with extreme drama and making it all about his own feelings. Hamish tells Prentice that Kenneth was jealous that Prentice shared more in common with Hamish's faith than with Kenneth's lack of faith. However, this isn't really true, and as he contemplates his father's death, Prentice begins to internalize one of the last things Hamish reported that Kenneth had argued: "All the gods are false. Faith itself is idolatry."

As the chapters go on, Prentice is compelled by some of the meaningful items related to Rory that he discovers in his father's belongings. He gains a renewed sense of purpose trying to solve the mystery of where Rory went and what happened to him. Among the interesting items are an ancient computer disk of Rory's that Prentice can't access with any equipment he can find; Ash uses her connections in the US and Canada to find a computer expert who can finally open the files on it. This takes quite a while, since the disk has to be mailed and Ash's connection is investigating the disk only in his free time.

Prentice also discovers that his feelings for Verity have changed. He no longer feels angry with Lewis for "stealing her." At first, Prentice's narration describes this as his feelings "cooling" as a result of the trauma of losing his father, but interestingly, this soon means Prentice gets to know Verity as a sister-in-law without getting caught up in jealous romantic feelings. Verity gets along well with the family, and Prentice is actually happy to discover that she and Lewis have a baby on the way. Prentice's relationship with Lewis improves greatly as well, partly because he is no longer jealous and partly because he realizes he does not want to lose Lewis, too.

Ash's connection who was looking at Rory's computer disk comes through and sends the printed contents of the files to Prentice. The files reveal to him that Rory likely knew Prentice's uncle, Fergus, murdered his wife by unbuckling her seat belt and crashing their car. Rory had written out a fictional version of events and considered using it in Crow Road. I'm not clear on exactly how certain Rory was about Fergus's crime, or whether Rory would have intentionally reported Ferg, or whether Rory even had enough proof to publicly accuse Ferg of murder, but people would likely have connected the dots in Rory's work and become suspicious of Ferg. For this reason, Prentice believes Ferg murdered Rory as well.

Prentice confronts Ferg. He doesn't get a confession and leaves Ferg's home with no concrete proof of anything; Ferg denies it all. But Prentice is soon physically assaulted in the night, and it seems Ferg was almost certainly the culprit, because he hadn't been home that same night, and he had injuries (probably from being fought off) the next day. A day or two later, Ferg's body is found unconscious in the cockpit of a plane, which crashes into the ocean. It's uncertain whether this was a suicide, but Prentice suspects it was. Rory's body is then soon recovered from the bottom of a waterway near Prentice's home, where Ferg had sunk it years ago.

As the mysteries are solved, Prentice realizes his feelings for Ash are romantic love. However, it's too late, he thinks, because Ash is about to take a job in Canada, where she may or may not stay. Prentice also hesitates to approach her because he's embarrassed about his previous behavior, venting all his angst about Verity and his father. He isn't sure she would even want to be in a relationship with him after that. But the very night before Ash leaves, she kisses Prentice on the cheek, which leads to a deeper kiss. They finally connect, have sex, and confess their mutual feelings. Ash still goes to her job in Canada, but says she'll come back when Prentice is done with his studies that summer.

The relationship's future is somewhat uncertain because something could come up while Ash is in Canada, but Prentice is hopeful. The book ends with Prentice getting ready to graduate with his grades on track as a history scholar, fully renouncing his belief in an afterlife while he acknowledges the inherent importance of our experiences in our lives now, and enjoying his time with Lewis and Verity and his other family members.

What's the point of all these hundreds of pages?

Well, look at all of the above; there's definitely more than one point. But the main point I took away is that we get this one life, with our loved ones in this world here and now, and this is where we make our meanings. There is no other meaning, but that doesn't mean there's no meaning at all. It means the meaning is here.

It's not death that gives life its meaning. It's the things we do while alive that give life its deeper meaning.

The Crow Road is described (on Wikipedia) as a Bildungsroman, a story focusing on the moral and philosophical growth and change of its main character as they transition from childhood to adulthood ("coming-of-age novel" is a similar term that is interchangeable, but more vague and not necessarily focused on morality/philosophy). And, indeed, all of the plots ultimately tie into Prentice's changed philosophy.

After his argument with Kenneth, Prentice feels childish and humiliated, and as a result, he refuses to go back home, which leads to a spiral of shame and depression. Kenneth dies and Prentice realizes it's too late to repair the relationship, which also leads him to realize it's what we do in life that matters, and that therefore, his father's argument was correct after all.

At the end of the novel, Prentice outright describes his new philosophy. However, I can't recall one specific passage where Prentice describes the process of how he changed his mind (if anyone else can remember something I missed, do let me know). There is, however, a moment when his narration indicates that Hamish seems less disturbed by his own part in the incident that led to Kenneth's death and more disturbed by the notion that his beliefs might actually be true: there might actually be an angry, vengeful God. In other words, Hamish's philosophy is selfish at its core.

My interpretation is that when his father died, Prentice realized three things: how utterly self-serving Hamish's devout faith is, how Kenneth's untimely death proves the importance of working things out now rather than in an imaginary afterlife, and how much profound meaning Kenneth had left behind despite having no faith at all. After these realizations, a determined belief in an afterlife no longer makes our lives here more profound like Prentice once thought it did.

Also, it's worth noting that this incident changes Prentice's idea of partnership, too. He loses interest in this distant, idealized woman he's been after. In love as in the rest of life, Prentice lets go of his ideals, and in doing so, he makes room for true meaning, both in a sincere familial, platonic connection with Verity and a sincere intimate, romantic connection with Ash.

But what about the sex scene?!

Yes, indeed, at the tail end of the story, Prentice and Ash have sex and admit they want to be in a relationship together. Prentice's narration describes them sleeping together and having intercourse not just once, but many times, including some slow and relaxed couplings during which they flex the muscles in their private parts to spell out "I.L.Y." and "I.L.Y.T." to each other in Morse code. This is relevant because earlier, they had been surprised and delighted to discover that they both knew Morse code; it isn't a detail that came from nowhere.

I didn't get the impression that this scene was trying to be especially titillating to the reader. It was mostly just a list of stuff the characters did together. I felt the point was that they were still anxious about being emotionally honest, a little desperate to convey their feelings without having to speak them out loud, and awkward in a way that made it obvious that their primary concern was the feelings, not the sexual performance. They cared about each other, but they weren't trying to be impressive or put on a show; contrast this with previous scenes where Prentice would act like a clown in front of Ash to diffuse his own anxiety. I've always thought that being able to have awkward sex and still enjoy it is a good sign.

Okay, so what does this all have to do with Good Omens?

Here's where I have to get especially interpretive. I'm doing my best, but of course, not everyone reading this will have the same perspective on Good Omens, the Final Fifteen especially. I believe similar themes are going to resonate between The Crow Road and Good Omens regardless of our particular interpretations of the characters' behavior and motivations, but I suppose it could hit differently for some people.

The TL;DR: I see similar themes between The Crow Road and Good Omens in:

The importance of mortal life on Earth

Meaning (or purpose) as something that we create as we live, not something that is handed to us by a supreme being

Sincere connection and love/passion (for people, causes, arts, life's work, etc) as a type of meaning/purpose

Relationships as reflections of philosophy

The dual nature of humanity

Life on Earth as the important part of existence is a core theme in Good Omens, and has been since the very beginning. We all already know Adam chose to preserve the world as it already is because he figured this out, and we all already know Aziraphale and Crowley have been shaped for the better by their experiences on Earth. But Good Omens isn't done with this theme by a long shot. I think this is the most important thematic commonality Good Omens will have with The Crow Road. Closely related is the notion that we create our meanings as we live, rather than having them handed to us. Isn't this, in a way, what Aziraphale struggles with in A Companion to Owls? He's been given this meaning, this identity, that doesn't fit him. But does he have anything else to be? Not yet.

Partnerships as a parallel to the characters' philosophical development also resonates as a commonality that The Crow Road may have with Good Omens. Prentice's obsession with Verity goes away when he starts to embrace the importance of life on Earth and makes room for his sincere relationship with Ash. Note their names: "Verity" is truth, an ideal Prentice's father instills in him; "Ashley" means "dweller in the ash tree meadow" in Anglo-Saxon, according to Wikipedia, and "ash" is one of the things people return to after death. Prentice literally trades his high ideals for life on Earth. We see in Aziraphale a similar tug-o'-war between Heaven's distant ideals and Crowley's Earthly pleasures, so I can see a similar process potentially playing out for him.

I don't particularly recall a ton of thematic exploration of free will in The Crow Road. However, there is a glimmer of something there: Prentice feels excessively controlled by Kenneth's desire to pass down his beliefs, and part of the reason Prentice is so resistant to change is simply his frustration with feeling censored and not being taken seriously. As the reader, I do get the feeling that while Prentice is immature, Kenneth made major mistakes in handling their conflict, too. And Kenneth's mistakes come from trying to dictate Prentice's thoughts. There is likely some crossover with Good Omens in the sense that I'm pretty sure both stories are going to take the position that people need to be allowed to make mistakes, and to do things that one perceives as mistakes, without getting written off as "stupid" or "bad" or otherwise "unworthy."

Suffice it to say that the human characters in Good Omens will also certainly play into these themes, but it's hard to write about them when we don't know much about them except that one of them is almost certainly the reincarnation of Jesus. This also makes me suspect perhaps the human cast will be 100% entirely all-new, or mostly new, symbolic of how Aziraphale and Crowley have immersed themselves in the ever-evolving, ever-changing world of life on Earth. Alternatively, if we encounter human characters again from Season 1 or 2, perhaps the ways they've grown and changed will be highlighted. For example, even in real-world time, Adam and Warlock have already, as of the time I'm writing this, gone through at least one entire life stage (from 11 in 2019 to 16 in 2024). They'll be legal adults in a couple of years, and if there's a significant time skip, they could be much older. If characters from Season 1 do reappear and themes from The Crow Road are prominent, I would expect either some key scenes highlighting contrasts and changes from their younger selves or for stagnation and growth to be a central part of their plot.

The more I write, the more I just interpret everything in circles. Hopefully this post has at least given you a decent idea of what The Crow Road is like and how it may relate to Good Omens.

I'll end this post with a quotation that feels relevant:

Telling us straight or through his stories, my father taught us that there was, generally, a fire at the core of things, and that change was the only constant, and that we – like everybody else – were both the most important people in the universe, and utterly without significance, depending, and that individuals mattered before their institutions, and that people were people, much the same everywhere, and when they appeared to do things that were stupid or evil, often you hadn’t been told the whole story, but that sometimes people did behave badly, usually because some idea had taken hold of them and given them an excuse to regard other people as expendable (or bad), and that was part of who we were too, as a species, and it wasn’t always possible to know that you were right and they were wrong, but the important thing was to keep trying to find out, and always to face the truth. Because truth mattered. Iain Banks, The Crow Road

[riaki]

knitted hearts | kento nanami x reader

pt.3 of christmas event! i wrote this for u genie ily 🤍 cw: established relationship, he (over)works at that financing company from before, two (2) petnames

the lights are still on.

that's the first thing kento immediately notices when he gets back; the office clocked him overtime, and so he's late. regrettably, again.

in the past, whenever that's happened, he'd have sent you a text beforehand and came home to a dark apartment; eaten something quick before getting into bed and slipping beneath the soft covers where your resting warmth melts away the stress of the day between his shoulders and his eyebrows.

tonight is different, it seems. the city buzzes with a quiet hum, light snowfall blanketing the roofs and muffling the sound. the holiday season is in full swing; normally, he wouldn't care to know. or remember. if not for the lame decorations around his workplace and the chocolate advent calendar you've been diligently (force) feeding him every night, he wouldn't've noticed at all.

he closes the door quietly behind him, careful not to make excess noise in case you're asleep as he slips his shoes off and hangs his jacket up. after all, you might've just been absentminded or tired, and forgot to switch the lights off. and you blame him for being lost to time.

it's quiet in the house; not dead silent, though. there's soft, ambient winter jazz flowing from somewhere in the house, and the faint sound of the fridge humming, paired with something that's baking in the oven. the scent of soft vanilla and orange settles gently over his shoulders, as if to welcome him home. his half finished coffee sits in a porcelain mug on the stained counter; you'd accidentally made too much for him, leaving you with a puddle of bitter caffeine that couldn't even be finished with your combined efforts. you'd promised him you would chug it over text, but clearly that didn't happen.

he's ready to go through the motions of a quiet night spent unwinding alone when he hears your voice— after endless hours of aching at a desk, clacking away on a mechanical keyboard in the dreariest environment imaginable, it soothes him like no vacation fantasy he's ever known.

"nami? is that you?" you called. your voice is coming from the shared bedroom; you sound tired, and kento can just imagine the sleepy look on your face. he's never been inclined to use the words 'cute' or 'pretty' to describe someone before, but if he had to choose, then he'd use them for you.

he walks down the length of the hallway, undoing his tie and gently tugging it off his neck as he reaches the threshold to your room. the air is warm and soft; it seems so much easier to breathe the closer you are. like the crushing weight of work he puts on his lungs dissipates into a cloud of melting frost.

"i'm home, sweetheart." he's surprised at how rough his own voice sounds; it's almost unfamiliar. he needs your rejuvenating touch; at least, that's what he decides the instant he sees you. you're sitting right in the middle of the mattress, something lumpy, tacky, red and green bundled up in your lap. with something between a sinking realization and a fluttering in his chest he recognizes it as the sweater you've been making for him. you're finishing it up, it seems, from the formerly-wide bundle of soft thread that's been reduced to a meek little crimson string on the white sheets.

it's one of your new interests. you seem to be taking up a lot of those, lately; kento feels as though it's his fault, for never having the time to take you out. yet you're always so patient despite his busy schedule, adjusting to portion out a chunk of time from your own just to accommodate for him. it's unfair, and so one night he vowed to do more for you over a glass of red wine and a fancy white table cloth, freshly cleaned and pressed. that was one of the rare times he'd been able to take you out like you really deserved. "and don't call me by my last name. you're allowed to use my given," he sighs, rather exasperated, but you both know there's only affection behind it.

you perk up, a bright look in your eyes that melts the last of the frost buried in his chest and beneath his eyes. he crosses the room to stand at the foot of the bed, unbuttoning his shirt a few to let himself breathe. and he doesn't miss the way your eyes linger, so he clears his throat, and you spring to action.

"i finished your sweater, ken. can you put it on?" you ask eagerly, and he's briefly reminded of a young boy with pink hair like raspberry chocolate and a golden retriever demeanor. a soft feeling pushes at the back of his heart, sending mushy gushiness through his veins at the sight.

you scoot close, holding it up for him to examine. in all honesty, it's not terrible; you get an A for effort, at the very least. the five reindeer look more like those urban folklore creatures, and the tree looks as though it could use seven more centuries under the sun-- but other than that, it's a perfect first try.

"i'd love to, darling, but i..." he doesn't get to finish, because you seem to wilt a little, and it already feels like that crushing burden over his diaphragm is back, but this time it's exceedingly and guiltily unpleasant, so he retracts his words.

"alright." he succumbs with a tired sigh, letting his eyes flutter shut and removing his glasses to rub the spot where the frame has been digging into his skin; normally you'd do it for him, but you're busy adjusting the fluffy pom poms (he didn't see those before) on the sweater's cuffs, so he does it himself.

he hears the tell tale shift of the soft bedding and he opens his eyes again, only to be met with a very expectant look on your face.

"put your hands up."

"...pardon?" a small amount of resistance to your antics is always present, at first. by now he knows you expect it. but this time, it may be much worse.

"you heard me! arms to the sky." he likes your laugh, a lot. it jingles like a gentle wind chime.

"i can put it on myself. i'm not a child," he says, a little cross, but you're undeterred. as per usual. not like he minds.

"please?"

kento doesn't particularly view himself as a man with a great many ambitious, or zealous ideals. still, he isn't a pushover and has a strong resolve. unfortunately for him (fortunately for you), when it comes to you, it doesn't take much for him to crumble. if you willed it, he'd get down at your feet.

with resignation, he kneels down on one leg, as if you're about to knight him. he waits patiently, holding his arms up, and he can practically feel your giddy smile.

soon enough, you're slipping it over his tangled blonde hair— with a little bit of effort and a lot of scratchy fabric. it's too big here and too tight there, hanging off his shoulders oddly and the sleeves are uneven. but it's cute, too-- in the way that a toddler's crayon doodles are endearing, so are your amateur efforts. what matters to him the most, is that you've handmade it for him.

nothing an industry company factory could achieve.

"so? how do you like it?" you prompt as you start to mess with the collar, pinching and pulling the fabric so that it suits his form appropriately. he doesn't ever remember you asking for his size, but you seem to know it anyway.

"it's warm," is his only input. he knows you'll complain— but it's fun to hear you whine.

you frown. "is that all?" there it is— a small, sweet little pout; the minute down tilt of your lips. your fingers dance over his collarbone as you pull the collar of his button up over the rim, and his breath hitches in his throat. kento wonders if you can feel his heartbeat or notice the way his adam's apple bobs when he swallows.

before you— or he— knows it, he's pulling you down to sit on the knee that's still propped up, catching you by the rest and meeting you halfway to press a gentle kiss to your lips. he's met with a muffled sound of surprise that quickly melts into a laugh; he can feel you smile against his lips and he wants to devour it.

"so i take it you like it?" you whispered as you lean in, hands leaving the unwieldy sweater to thread through his hair, messing it up to your heart's content after he slicked it to the side. you taste sweet, like chocolate and caramel-- he must've missed the advent sweet for today.

his only response is a small hum— you can feel the vibration, so you chuckle again and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling away breathless from the kiss to knock your forehead against his, gazing into his eyes. there's an undeniable well of warmth behind your gorgeous irises; if he had the time, he'd get himself lost in them.

"good, because i have socks on the backburner and you'll be getting a scarf next."

whenever the lights are off, kento knows you've gone to bed already, without him. but he thinks he could get used to scratchy, hand-knit clothing if it means they'll always be on and waiting for him after a long day of dreaming in front of a desk, all about your smile.

not proofread my (riaki) stuff. don't repost and/or plagiarize !

[gynandromorph]

Hey! Question about Idletry. Even with the most bare bones critical analysis of fiction, as a socially isolated, lonely, heavily theripized lesbian, its hard not to idolize Jessies, even more vile actions. Or even see a bit, if not a lot of myself in her actions. Do you get this often? I know with the political climate, isolation is gonna get even worse for folks.

do i get this often as in do i get people who relate to her and idolize her? not frequently, but not unheard of. most people do not find jessie relatable and if they did i don't think she would be an accurately written outcast.

do i see myself in her often? she has a lot of feelings i used to have. i think i'm just tired now. people are pathetic, selfish animals, and i cannot blame them for my social suffering in the same way i can't blame my dog for eating something off of the counter when i left her alone with it. sometimes a particularly unsavory, visceral hatred will boil up in me towards, ironically, other lesbians, for having what i've been deprived of by nothing more than luck. i didn't stay in one home for my entire life, so i never really formed strong attachments to friends like jessie did. it is really the people you expect to care about you that don't, though -- in her case, friends she had, in my case, community i am inherently a part of. you can see the threads cross briefly to reach a similar endpoint here

i can't feel that hatred without knowing that there are people out there with an equally justified hatred for me as well, because i have at least gotten to be in a relationship before. at least i haven't ALWAYS been alone. that cognitive dissonance interests me, but also neatly puts a bow on the irrationality of the thought. for jessie, even after she does have a romantic partner, i think she'd take offense to the notion, because it isn't really about the unfairness as much as punishment for causing her perceived pain. and i think that's where we differ so drastically that i don't often relate to what she's saying even though i objectively know what the feelings she's having are like. i don't really care to punish people for hurting me because it won't undo the pain. we can see throughout the story that jessie remains unhappy no matter what she does and who she punishes because it doesn't *undo* the pain and isolation. it still hurts that it happened and it doesn't bring her closer to anyone else (or them closer to her). i also just have a much stronger empathy and people pleasing response. that anger just becomes nothing to me once i have to actually interact with someone and i generally have to look away from even fictional pain because it is so distressing to me. i would hate to imply that jessie is like simply due to an empathy or lack thereof; we see that she has much more empathy as a child and does care about fairness and hurting other people's feelings. she has practiced non-empathy mentally for an extended length of time with very little actual interaction to erode that. the actual biggest difference between her and myself is probably merely her lack of a fractured personality that can rebel against her if she steps too far out of line. and a massive skill issue.

[sevikas-biceps]

[TLDR: me rationalising and then ranting about why Caitlyn and Cassandra are both in the wrong]

Y'all. We love Cait, and we do stan Cassandra in some regards—but be fucking for real. Think of them as real people, in the real world, doing real things. Y'all would hate them. I'm putting Cait's gay love and Cass' gay support aside—because I really do feel like a lot of people gloss over their flaws just because of the queer rep and allying.

Think of it. The Kiramman's ventilation system was the bare fucking minimum being done for the people of Zaun. Caitlyn weaponising it is literally a violation of human rights practices. We know how privileged Topside is, we know there are at least sympathetic characters out there—and both of these are true for the Kirammans. What does this imply? That the Kirammans were essentially one of those at the top of the hierarchy, and this put them in a complete position of ability to help.

But they didn't. That's the issue, people.

One of the previous matriarchs putting the vent system into place was to solve the matter of the air pollution, yes—but arguably, the people of the Undercity shouldn't have had to deal with that problem to begin with. Cassandra might've been aware it existed; she gave her daughter the key, after all. However, that does not mean she actively came to the aid of the people of Zaun. Hell, do you think she was even aware of Silco, for instance? At the beginning? Maybe she'd've heard whispers from informants, about some old peacekeeper people called the Hound, and then about some mysterious tycoon taking his place. Maybe Grayson said something about the Undercity's concerns in the past, during the time of the first insurrection, but the Council took no note of it. Maybe Cassandra had someone else in place to make her dealings, if ever she dabbled in that black market shit.

Whatever else you can think of with that line of thinking; at the end of the day, it just proves that Cassandra herself was only another person stuck in the cycle—she did her job, she was cunning and selfish, she played the game. It's just business. It's just politics. No more, no less. The original line-up on the Council had members that were either ignorant, negligent, or corrupt (and yes; that includes Heimerdinger, Mel, and Jayce you guys)—and Cassandra was no better. Again, they all were part of the same damn cycle to begin with.

What makes Cassandra remarkable as a character—to us, the audience—is that she's remembered as someone redeemable because of her love for her family, for Caitlyn; that she was willing to try for her daughter's sake and happiness. Caitlyn. Not the city, not her kid's new girlfriend, and most certainly not Zaun. Above all else, it boils down to her little girl. Her only child. Cassandra being on the Council meant that she could give that child the best life that she could; Cassandra being on the Council meant that the child has a future. It implies that peripherally, she was aware of the Undercity's issues—hence the little frustrations exchanged about Caitlyn becoming an officer and venturing into the Undercity in Season 1.

That's her redeeming quality. Duty for family.

[If you want a visualisation of her actual nature, I'd honestly recommend using Olenna Tyrell, Tywin Lannister, and Jon Arryn from ASoIaF/GoT as points of reference.]

Now, onto Caitlyn herself. Credit where credit is due; the girl is in the middle of grieving, and she's being denied the chance to have even that. She doesn't deserve that. No one does. It would be unfair to deal her an amount of resentment for going unstable, when we'd all been rooting for Jinx for half of the same reasons in Season 1. But that's the issue: half of the same reasons.

Let's be honest for a quick second here. Do we really think Caitlyn would've ever gone down to the Undercity had Jinx never attacked on Progress Day? With someone like Marcus hot on her trails, if he lives in this hypothetical alternate reality, I imagine she wouldn't even be placed near the bridge(s) to begin with. And if, in canon, he'd survived the explosion, I can also see Caitlyn being put on house arrest—because if Marcus himself is outed as working with Silco (similar to how Grayson did with Vander), then that's all the more reason to keep the Kiramman heiress away from danger, or worse, death. If things are so bad that the Sheriff, symbolically a paragon of justice and protection, resorted to consorting with the enemy...well, what then? What does that say about the system? What does that say about Piltovan society?

Back to Caitlyn. I'm a firm supporter of the idea that she never would've been put into a potential line of fire had life gone on normally. If Jinx never stole the hexcrystals, then Caitlyn would have no reason to snoop around; Vi is still in Stillwater, Silco is at large, and so on and so forth. Caitlyn remains largely ignorant of the world she lives in. It's noble that she genuinely wanted to help people. But in a place like Piltover? She'd be worse than Jayce when Season 1 began. I'm sure she'd no doubt notice the surrounding manipulations in her life, or how flawed their reality could be—but the point is, at the end of the day, it's still a privileged life that she leads.

Let that word sink in. Privileged. This isn't to disparage her original desire to make her society a better place—I do think that Caitlyn has the potential to do so if she exerted her efforts into long-term developments that could fulfil that vision. But this is where it gets tricky—especially in the context of Season 2. She had all of those resources at her disposal. She was aware of the consequences in using them—how it might affect civilians, innocents. And she still did so anyway. Strike one.

For all that she was a decorated officer, it's really the personal vendetta against Jinx that made her unfit to lead the strike team to begin with. I imagine Vi refused the enforcer position at first not just because of her and her people's history with the authority, but because it's so blatant that doing so enabled Caitlyn to act in her anger. By accepting the badge, Vi validated Caitlyn's need for vengeance. Not that Caitlyn is unreasonable in wanting such a thing, mind, but what is unreasonable was how tone-deaf she'd become in the process of grieving, forgetting that it's not just her own interests on the line, but others' too. Strike two.

There's nothing wrong with Caitlyn at the beginning—the girl just wanted so solve a crime. But then circumstances came up. And then, all of a sudden, she has to choose between duty or self-interest. What the show does is that it gives a convenient solution for Caitlyn to be able to serve both her duty and her own self-interest(s): invade/scour Zaun, she catches a criminal and delivers justice for the Council; find Jinx, Cassandra is avenged and Vi may find closure. The fight at Janna's temple is where it all indeed goes to shit, as we can see, and that's where Caitlyn really slips off in my opinion. She'd toed the line when she asked Vi to wear the badge—but it's really when Isha (a child) got involved and later on when she struck Vi herself (a betrayal), that her motives get warped. Strike three.

My main argument is that Cassandra and Caitlyn were both in the wrong, in one way or another, albeit for different and varied reasons. The former didn't do enough for the situation at hand, and the latter seems to be doing too much at once. Cassandra herself seemed to have enabled her daughter's worse traits, too, whether directly or indirectly; and this is what makes up much of the character that we see Caitlyn evolving into.

There are many aspects of both mother and daughter that have always been there, or, at least, have had the potential to be there, such as: the ruthlessness, the narrow focus, the determination, the strictness—and, most of all (and I have a feeling this is going to be controversial), the hypocrisy. We know, for a fact, that Caitlyn and Cassandra are at least self-aware. To merely label them as naïve or inexperienced (to life) is a gross disservice to their characters. On some level, they're cognisant of their status and ability in society (evidenced by baby!Cait's scepticism regarding Grayson's trophy, and Cass' agreement to support their case at the Council meeting)—and they both have exacted measures in the face of what is demanded of them.

This is the reason that Caitlyn weaponising the Grey, using the Kiramman's ventilation system, is more or less unforgivable. Just because it had Vi's hesitant approval, it didn't make it right. Vi counts as an unreliable narrator in this case—when we know that she, in multiple instances, easily caves when someone she's attached to doubles down on her.

We, as the audience, can at least agree on the moralities regarding the authorisation of the strike team; and that means that we, as people analysing the show, can also agree that the effects of an act such as using the Grey can be devastating. We see this in Viktor's chronic illness, we see this with Silco's asphyxiation trick on the Chembarons, we see this when Jinx knocks out Sevika, we see this in Cassandra's notes. Stop trying to downplay the Grey. Stop trying to justify a fucking war crime. 'Oh, but it's just knock-out gas'—baby, no it's not. It's really not. Smeech explicitly says this: factory smoke trapped underground. Smoke. It's still gas. There's no safe way of administering it in high doses. That's like smoking Marlboro Reds taken beyond the extreme, and fuelled by gasoline of all things.

I'm not villainising Caitlyn, but some of y'all also need to stop excusing what she did—and I'm saying this because a lot of you also did the same with Jinx in Season 1. For the lack of a better example; it's very much like excusing what serial killers of the past had done because they were 'interesting' or 'charming' or hell, relatable. Be Gay, Do Crime is most definitely not applicable here, you guys. Seriously.

That is literally the reason Vi snaps at Caitlyn after the fight with Jinx. Why are you the one acting like her? It's not just a comparison between Caitlyn and Jinx, it's not just vendetta against vendetta; in a broader context, Vi is asking: Why are you resorting to the same acts of terrorism? Why are you enforcing the same tactics your predecessors used? Why are you turning into what you once swore not to become? Why are you doing this? What are you turning into?

Vi asked Caitlyn to promise her not to change. But she did.

Why are you betraying yourself?

[ilikekidsshows]

About the throwing CN in the trash can thing, I don‘t necessarily disagree, but why did you completely left out the whole thing about CN‘s constant flirting and calling them a couple and stuff, when LB made it clear multiple times in that episode and before that she doesn‘t like him that way and is bothered by many attempts to make a move on her. Especially in that episode, she‘s already pissed at Glaciator specifically because of it, and Paris as a whole for printing articles and putting up billboards everywhere. The only thing CN does with his shenanigans is irritate her even more, until she has enough.

If I were in a situation where a platonic friend did that to me, I‘d be pissed too. Sure, I probably wouldn‘t throw im in a trash can, but I’d maybe get a little loud at least.

Idk, the garbage toss might‘ve been too much, sure, but pretending like CN has no fault in the situation escalating like that is unfair and LB had all right to go off at him.

That was not what was asked

That's not how the episode frames it

I read over Ladybug and Cat Noir's discussion after the trashcan scene to make sure I understood what the takeaway was. Ladybug did not say, or even hint, that the problem was that Cat Noir went too far or was out of line. She has an issue with being reminded he has feelings for her, period.

This is the same episode where Marinette calls Adrien "my boyfriend who isn't my boyfriend yet" and takes advantage of him being upset to try to win him over romantically. Marinette is forcing her feelings onto Adrien even more than Cat Noir is forcing them on Ladybug, because he at least doesn't expect a relationship from Ladybug in return. The takeaway isn't "don't be too pushy", it's "Cat Noir shouldn't be a bother to Ladybug", because that's what all the lessons in this season seem to be.

And, like, just because Ladybug doesn't return his feelings doesn't mean Cat Noir should hide the fact that he's in love with her to make her feel better, especially since his flirtation is stated to just be an outlet where he doesn't expect reciprocation, that Ladybug understands is an outlet and that nothing is expected from her in return. ("I know your heart's in the right place and that you don't mean any harm.") This has never before been an issue for the two, and now it suddenly is, four seasons in? I don't buy it.

I know the episode is saying that yes, Cat Noir should, indeed, hide his feelings to make Ladybug feel better, but that's unhealthy and I've repeatedly said that the show repeatedly demanding Adrien bury all his feelings so that Marinette can ignore them is wrong.

I also kinda feel like this episode purposefully makes Cat Noir kinda out of character by exaggerating his behavior into such an obnoxious degree and that it was specifically done in order to justify Ladybug getting mad at him (kinda like 'Reflekdoll' implied he'd pranked Ladybug in the middle of a fight, something he'd never do, in order to justify Ladybug being angry in that episode), so it just all feels so fake to me and I can't take it seriously. When I see a show blatantly trying to manipulate me, I tend to veer into the opposite direction out of spite.

So, yes, I went easy on Cat Noir in this episode, but, as you said, that still didn't make anything I said about Ladybug's behavior untrue. Like, Ladybug has reasons to be pissed in this episode, but the writers think Cat Noir alone is the justified target, and that's what I disagree with.

Frankly, if they'd framed that Ladybug's unreasonable anger towards Cat Noir was caused by her totally justified anger at having her private life be so scrutinized, and built the episode around that, this could have been a really good episode that could teach kids about boundaries when it comes to their favorite celebrities. They literally have the framework for that within the episode, but decided to instead give us another "Cat Noir shouldn't even breathe if it bothers Ladybug" episode. It would have been especially valuable since a lot of kids these days are actually following social media or Youtube celebrities or will do so in a few years.

[deebris]

Melancholy II

Kakashi Hatake x wife reader

Synopsis: To learn to overcome the loss of your child, you and Kakashi went through challenges, and it certainly wasn't easy at all. The tragedy harbored bad feelings in your family, and you two tried not to let it affect your sons. But now, with the discovery of a fourth pregnancy, things can change again - for better or worse

Warnings: trauma, mention of misscariage, mention of depression, labor pain, argment, intimacy, kiss.

Words: 5.3k

Observation: Happy ending - part I here

The hot summer breeze made your hair sway along with the loose leaves of the trees, revealing your serene and concentrated face. Kakashi admired the beauty you exuded while he was looking from afar, not having the courage to go up to you, at least not where you were now. If you were in any other environment, he would definitely meet you and give you all the praise you deserve. But he preferred to walk away.

You were kneeling in front of your child's grave with your youngest son Kenji, both clasping your hands in prayer as you meditated. The boy always insisted on accompanying you during your monthly visits to the cemetery, helping you put new flowers and clean the place.

He always finished his meditation first, but he didn't dare get up until you finished too. Sitting still was difficult for a child, you know, and so his effort to remain patient was all the sweeter in your eyes.

After a brief five minutes, you had no more prayers to say and opened your eyes to see him transfixed on the name written on the tombstone: Satoru.

That same year you lost the baby, Kakashi advised you not to find out the sex of the child, but you were stubborn and asked Sakura anyway. You weren't even sure if it would be possible to find that out, as you didn't know if your pregnancy was advanced enough to reveal such a thing. But asking doesn't cost anything, does it? And then she told you it was going to be another boy. It was even a little comical, it seemed like you were destined to be the mother of boys, and after that you couldn't help but name him. You imagined what his little face would look like, you dreamed about him, wishing he was more than a fantasy.

What would his personality be like? How would his voice sound? Will you finally have a child that looks like you? Your husband was lucky, both of your children were perfect copies of him. What's the use of carrying a baby for 9 months and being betrayed like that by genetics? How unfair. Maybe that's why they say not to name dead babies, to go on in the void and forget, but you didn't like the feeling. Forgetting felt wrong.

Kakashi didn't want you to get attached to a child you've never even met, he said it would only make you suffer further. And for a while it felt like it was all about you, and only you. But you weren't silly, he was ashamed to admit that he was afraid of suffering from that too, of getting attached. Your husband was afraid that he wouldn't be able to move on, that it would haunt you both forever. Time heals all, isn't that what people say? Didn't he once tell you that you guys would get over it? So why weren't you getting over it?

Of course, after a while the pain got easier to deal with, but it was still there. And you constantly missed something, someone. Your family seemed incomplete.

He didn't get mad when you went after finding out the sex of the child, and he didn't fight when you gave him a name, but he was furious when you said you wanted to make a grave.

Spring - 1 year and 8 months ago:

You were cleaning the kitchen with Katsuo when the argument with your husband started. There was tension after the two of you exchanged some dangerous words, nothing had really gotten serious yet, but your eldest decided to immediately drop the uncompleted work and leave the room. He didn't even bother to excuse himself, just wanting to leave as soon as possible.

"That's enough for me!" He got up from the table abruptly "I tried, at all times, to understand you. I also suffered from this!" You remembered the conversation you had with him the day you cried together in the hallway, the way you found him, totally in pieces. Like you. "And all I wanted was for you to try to understand me too!" he spoke in a serious tone, but never shouting "But you just decide you want to make a grave, when I've told you countless times to keep it anonymous!"

Even when angry, your husband was calm. He was obviously exhausted, but there were no signs of violence there. You wondered how anyone could be so passive. If anyone else saw how Kakashi treated his family and friends, they would never believe that he really is the ninja of rumors. The man who defeated Zabuza Momochi, who fought Obito Uchiha - the fearsome Copy Ninja.

"Do you really want to immortalize this suffering by carving it into a stone?!" you listened silently for the moment, having already set the dishes aside in the sink and getting the reaction you feared he would have before telling him your pitiful wish "I already have too many people to visit the cemetery, Y/n..." His voice cracked for a moment making you shiver "Please, don't give me another one."

Your heart broke into little pieces. That was what you needed to realize how much distress you were causing him, that you were acting like a monster with the man who had never done anything but be good to you. Because that's what you were being, isn't it? A monstrous one. But not in a thousand years would Kakashi see you that way, he wasn't able to read your thoughts to tell that you weren't a bad person like you thought. He couldn't compare his pain to yours, having closely followed your suffering beyond emotional, physical. He just didn't know how to deal with what you were asking him to do.

"You don't need to visit…" you spoke softly hoping that the situation would work out for the two of you. The last few months were the worst of your life, you felt a need all the time, a need to fill a void. You feared that you were slipping into depression, but you tried not to let yourself get bogged down in those emotions.

"Stop being selfish!" Kakashi finally exploded, in a tone you've never heard him speak, abandoning his calm posture. He regretted it as soon as he said the cruel words. His wife wasn't a selfish person, far from it, you were the most selfless person he has met.

You felt your throat close, as if you were going to choke, and your eyes burning with an imminent urge to cry. But you can't cry, if you cry, Kakashi will be destroyed.

"I-" you were interrupted by a whimper in the distance, feeling stupid for having forgotten that Katsuo and Kenji were at home, clearly hearing the argument. If making you cry was bad, making your kids cry would affect him twice as hard.

A very heavy aura hung over the residence, what the hell was going on with you two? You and your husband weren't a bickering couple, in fact, you were the complete opposite of that. It happened at times that you blurted out hostility in the presence of the children, and on those few occasions you noticed that small things were enough to frighten the boys, used to the fact that their parents rarely fought.

Only this time it was serious, and to top it all off, the one screaming was their father. How could they not be scared? Kakashi never raised his voice even to correct them, and now he looked very angry. From you?

You abandoned your discussion and left him alone in the kitchen to check which of the boys was crying, and when you arrived in the living room you discovered that it was Kenji.

"Mommy..." The child sobbed your name when he saw you and you took him to comfort. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and gripped the fabric of your clothing tightly - shivering.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." you rubbed your hand on his back, sliding it up and down in an attempt to soothe him. "It's going to be okay. Shh..."

You shivered as you saw the guilty look on Kakashi's face as he froze in the middle of the room. He must have followed you, and you felt so ashamed of having caused all this that you couldn't stand to stay there any longer, going up the stairs with Kenji in your arms to escape from his eyes.

Katsuo was already a little older, he understood what was going on between his parents, both you and your husband knew about it. From your shared room, even with your son still crying, you could hear a door slamming loudly in the hallway and Katsuo yelling at Kakashi.

You hated to fight, Katsuo hated to see you fight. But for some reason it kept repeating itself.

Kakashi entered the room after a few minutes, skittish as a cat and hearing Kenji sniffle clinging to you.

"Shh" You kept whispering in his ear while singing a lullaby, rocking him, and the boy called to you softly repeatedly, pleading.

You were surprised to notice that Kakashi was already right next to you at the end of the bed, he put his hand on your son's back to get his attention, but that made him cringe and bury his face even more in you.

"Kenji." Kakashi called after him, surprised that his son was trying to avoid him.

"Honey, daddy is talking." you tried to intervene.

"I don't want you to fight..." he said, suddenly crying loudly when he remembered the two of you arguing a few minutes ago.

"Let's not fight anymore" your husband smoothed his hair as he still refused to show his face to his father "I promise." Kakashi looked at his wife in anticipation that you would help him convince the child.

"It's true, little angel."

And really, you never fought again. But instead, uncomfortable moments of silence began to plague you and him too often, preferring to remain silent when you realized that the situation could lead to a fight. And this has affected your communication with your husband, making the two of you more distant.

.

Now it's been two years. After that day Kakashi made your son's grave without you even knowing, maybe trying to redeem himself for something that wasn't his fault. You had completely dropped the idea and didn't expect you guys to talk about it again.

You didn't know if surprise was the exact word you were looking for to describe what you felt, but it probably came closest. Imagine your amazement: you were at the Memorial Stone, getting ready to leave after visiting all the deceased relatives and friends on a Sunday, when he told you there was still one person missing. He showed you the way and you were moved to see the name written on the tombstone. That was the last time he was there, after which you never saw him there again. But Kakashi made sure to memorize your reaction that day, you looked amazed.

Breaking out of your thoughts, you smiled at Kenji who was still focused on the carved letters and gave his chubby cheek a kiss to get the youngster's attention.

"Let's visit Grandpa Sakumo's sepulcher." you took his hand, which was much smaller than yours, going to your father-in-law's tomb.

You didn't know Kakashi's father, but from the stories you heard your husband tell the boys, he was an honorable man. He never avoided telling his children about the shinobi's tragic end, as he thought it was important that they have a reference of strong values ​​when they become ninja too.

Your eldest son was not so childish anymore, although he was still a child. But with only 10 he had already developed an unshakable sense of justice, which perhaps neither you or Kakashi could mold so easily anymore. He would certainly be a man of good character, just as you would expect Kenji to be too.

"Katsuo is here, Mom! Look." Kenji shook your hands together excitedly when he found his brother already meditating at Sakumo's grave, he probably visited the Memorial Stone with his father first and then came here. Kakashi could spend hours in that part of the cemetery, sometimes coming in the middle of the week, just to stare at the names of his two former companions - Obito and Rin.

"Be silent so as not to interrupt him." You said gently, motioning with your fingers for him to keep quiet and the three of you ended up going home without Kakashi.

"Thanks for the food, Mom." Katsuo thanked you as he removed his nearly full plate from the table.

"You bad ate."

You decided to start dinner when the clock showed that your husband was already 1 hour late, which was unusual, at least not without letting you know. You thought that something unforeseen arose in the Hokage's office. Things have been crazy lately, everyone running out of time to prepare for Naruto's inauguration ceremony as Nanadaime. But the news was encouraging, for you mainly because it meant he would be spending more time at home.

"I'm not hungry." he said in a despondent tone, going upstairs and locking the bedroom door. He always acted like this after visits, and the reason was you. He didn't want you to visit Satoru, interpreting that he was the reason you've been so bad these last few years. And no matter how many times you told him that it wasn't anyone's fault and that visiting the place didn't hurt you, he was still young to understand.

"Can I have his dango?" Kenji asked making you sigh, everything was going so well for a peaceful day.

You suddenly felt like throwing up, bile rising in your throat catching you off guard. You immediately ran to the bathroom and emptied everything into the toilet, nearly spilling your guts out. You sat down on the floor and took a breath, feeling more dizzy for having bent down so quickly, making you break out in a cold sweat.

"Mom, are you ok?" Kenji stopped at the entrance to the room.

"I just got sick all of a sudden, it'll pass." you both heard the front door open.

"Kakashi?" you shouted his name from the bathroom, finding it irregular that he didn't announce his arrival.

"It's me, I'm home." Kenji dashed off to meet him, completely forgetting about you. Daddy's boy, you thought jealously of his preference for the father.

"Daddy, you missed dinner." your child said as you brushed your teeth to get the bitter taste off tongue.

"Oh yeah? You didn't eat mine, you sweet tooth?" you heard your husband's muffled voice in the bathroom playing with him. If you hadn't experienced it three times before, you'd try to convince yourself that it was a bad thing caused by spoiled food, but there's no use denying it, you know the symptoms all too well.

When you felt that you were discouraged, you sought out Sakura as quickly as possible, trying to be more thorough. You only trusted her, knowing well how skilled the kunoichi was. Well, you wasn't sure how far along you were, although Sakura had tried to give you a more accurate diagnosis, even that  you weren't tracking your cycles accurately either. But you'd venture to say it was the start of the second trimester.

You haven't imagined yourself pregnant again, in fact you haven't imagined yourself like this since you gave birth for the second time. You feared losing that child too, a fear you didn't feel with Katsuo and Kenji. You sure turned into a chicken.

You didn't even want to think about the impact this baby would have on you before and after birth, it could be negative or positive. Would this child fill your void? Would you be substituting one child for another? Would that be cruelty? You asked yourself so many questions, but you forced your brain to relax, reminding yourself to remain calm for the sake of the baby in your belly.

In your first two pregnancies, you only had positive thoughts. You weren't nervous about the birth, although some women in the village tried to scare you, and you were fascinated by the idea of ​​becoming a mother. You and Kakashi were so happy, and now you would too. No matter the future, no matter the others, you would only have good thoughts and that new child would be born strong and healthy. This baby would be wanted, if only by you.

You've settled Kenji into his bed, adjusting the blankets so he doesn't feel hot at night. You said goodnight and closed the door to his room, leaving a gap for light from the hallway to enter the room. You knocked on Katsuo's door and tried to talk to him, but the boy just shouted good night to you, not bothering to come and open the door. Kakashi was still downstairs and it was late, so you took the opportunity to go talk to him. Night shifts were one of the only times you and your husband could talk alone.

"Everything is good?" you asked when you saw him sprawled on the couch. Most of the lights were already off, except for the hallway light and a few lightbulbs around the house.

"I thought you were already asleep." He said surprised to see you still walking around the house.

You walked further into the room and made a sign that you were going to join him on the couch, so Kakashi raised an arm to welcome you beside him. You laid back and rested your head on the ninja's chest, hugging his torso as he lowered his arm to rest on your waist.

After a while just smelling the fabric softener of his shirt that you washed, you moved and placed a kiss on his exposed neck, climbing into his lap to kiss his lips next.

Kakashi loved those moments with you, because they were rare, the main culprit being his work. So when it happened he felt like he was in heaven. Your mouth was soft, sweet and the man's lips fit yours like a glove, but he gently pulled you away before the kiss got deeper.

"Not here." Kakashi didn't like being so intimate with you outside the bedroom, embarrassed that the boys would catch you. Even an innocent kiss made him uncomfortable, and you respected his space even though you had no intention of taking things to another level right now.

And it was funny to see him feel uncomfortable with things like that, considering he's the biggest fan of an erotic book series. Once Katsuo almost got you in the bathroom and Kakashi spent the whole week avoiding touching you, even when you were alone, like it was some kind of crime.

"I need to talk to you." you said getting off him.

"About...?"

"I'm Pregnant." you said bluntly, feeling him tense up. His heartbeat skipped a beat, coming back slow and then speeding up a little.

"Do you think or-"

"I'm sure." you lifted your head to look into his eyes and realized he was staring at the floor in confusion. You placed a hand on his cheek, drawing your husband's attention to you.

"I don't know how long, but I think it's well underway." you two were silent for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity "Kakashi, I think I'm past the third month."

He felt more hopeful, knowing full well the importance of yout last sentence.

"Darling..." you were going to continue talking when you saw him gulping, but he grabbed you by wrapping both arms around his wife.

"I understood." he rested his lips in her hair, enjoying the comfort of the hug "When did you find out?"

"Last week." He immediately broke the hug.

"Why did you wait so long to tell me?"

"I was trying to work up the courage..." you were sincere "you want this child, don't you?"

"You shouldn't even consider thinking such a thing. Of course I want to." he said kind of scolding you "Why would you think I don't?"

That would be the conversation you probably would have had with him years ago, if you had the chance to sit down with him and tell about the pregnancy in those days.

"I don't know. I think it's because we never planned a third child." you moved from him to the other side of the couch to talk more seriously "With Kenji and Katsuo it was different."

"You shouldn't worry about me, you know I would never reject our child." he straightened up, coming out of the relaxed position he'd been in before, feeling a flicker of doubt about your trust in him "You know that, don't you?"

"I know you, I know the type of man you are..." you played with your hands trying to relax "But I can't help but get nervous, everything seems to scare me lately." He noticed your hands moving frantically and wrapped his in hers.

"You are my wife; you are the mother of my two children. We have been married for 11 years, I would never abandon you, or abandon a child just because it was not planned." he stopped talking, wondering if he should tell you the next part "Sometimes I think about Satoru, and I wish he were with us." He added and you widened your eyes, Kakashi had never called the baby by name. In fact, he never spoke to you about him unless necessary or in discussions. "Do you think I wished him dead?" Kakashi asked afraid of her answer.

But what? Kakashi thought so? You would never connect his desire to leave the baby incognito with something so cruel and obscure, you understood perfectly well why he didn't want to name him. You always understood.

"Never." you turned desperately to your husband stroking his hands. "I never thought that of you, Kakashi." You shed thick tears and sank your body into his, wanting to stay there forever. Safe and comfortable in his arms.

"Please, do not cry." he asked you "I'm going to take care of you; I'm going to take care of this baby. It's going to be okay."

You would venture to say that this was your smoothest pregnancy. You didn't have to deal with jealous of any of the boys, and Kakashi was more present, not being Hokage anymore. It was just wonderful, like a dream. You sometimes feared that everything would start to fall apart, because it was too good to be true. It was strange that after so long drowning in grief, things could be starting to turn around again. Your family was getting back to normal.

In the 8th month, your water broke. It was early for delivery and you just freaked out. What if something is wrong? Kakashi was calm, knowing that a baby being born at the 8th wasn't that dangerous, but you couldn't stay calm at all. When Sakura finally came to your rescue, you felt more relieved after she confirmed what Kakashi told you about you being on time, trusting her while you screamed in pain from the contractions.

"The boys were born a week late, remember?" your husband tried to strike up a conversation with you to distract you

If you said you remembered, it would be a lie. Kakashi kept that information for that long? How was it possible that he remembered and you didn't? But soon his thoughts were interrupted by another wave of pain, which made him feel sorry for you for having to go through this.

"Soon our baby will be here with us." He said wiping the sweat off your forehead "It'll pass soon"

No, I won't go soon. And you both knew it, but you let yourself be trusted by him.After an 11-hour delivery you heard a baby crying loudly. The burning sensation occurred in the child's body because pulling air into lungs for the first time made the kid scream, just like every baby when it is born. Those outside the hospital room heard it too, announcing that you had managed to bring your child into the world. You can finally rest, sweaty from the effort it took to push. Your body was all asleep, but you just wanted to hold your newborn right now.

Sakura handed the baby into Kakashi's arms after he cut the umbilical cord, and then brought him close to you.

"It's a girl, Kakashi-sama." you cried with happiness when you heard that. You were the mother of a little girl.

Kakashi carefully placed her in your arms, seeing that you were still weak and might not be able to support your weight. But he noticed that his daughter was so small and so light that even the wind could carry her.

"She is a very strong and healthy girl. Congratulations to you both!" Sakura said happy for you, finding the sight of you holding a baby comforting, reminding her of holding Sarada for the first time.

"Why is she so small?" Kakashi asked her as you admired the blurry features of the child in your arms.

"Oh, she just is." Sakura replied nonchalantly, making Kakashi relax "I'm sure she'll grow up as strong as her brothers. But I'll leave you alone now." The woman left the room after collecting some objects and finishing filling out a hospital form.

You had finally realized that she was very close with her father, yet another clone of Kakashi for your misfortune. But you couldn't wait for her hair to stay long, just to spend hours combing it. You wanted her to stay that way, a little baby forever, but at the same time you yearned for her to grow up. You would wait for the day when you could finally share secrets with her, gossip and try on clothes until you drop. You loved your two boys with all of your being, you'd die for either of them, but having a girl felt different. Maybe it was because you dreamed about it for a long time, you didn't know how to explain it, but you already felt the need to develop her from everything and everyone. She was so delicate and cute, you were afraid she would break like porcelain.

Kakashi noticed the expressions you made while admiring your daughter, you practically beamed with how happy you were, and he hasn't seen you like this in a long time.

"You want to meet your little brothers, hmm?" You asked your daughter who made typical baby noises, knowing she wasn't going to answer. Your husband took this as a cue to go get the boys who were under Hinata's watch in the hospital waiting room. She really helped you a lot, both in the past and now. You would make sure that you thank her properly and that you can repay all of her help one day.

"It's a girl." Kakashi told his friends who were in the waiting room a few minutes ago and everyone started to congratulate him. "Thanks for coming over here."

"When can we see her, Kakashi?" Guy asked his friend.

"Yes! Kakashi-sama, I want to see her too!" Ino begged excitedly to see the baby. She was passing by to see Sakura at the hospital when she heard you were here and couldn't resist waiting to see the baby when was born.

"I'll take the boys now, but soon you'll be able to see them, I promise."Kakashi told Ino and everyone else who was present. He put his hand behind his neck to ease the tension and tiredness and then he picked up the children who were half asleep from waiting so long. He thanked Hinata briefly, who told him that soon Naruto would come too, and headed to the bedroom with his sons. "When you enter, be quiet" he told both of them when they arrived at the door.

"Yes Daddy!" Kenji responded by rubbing his hand over his mouth as if he were zipping up.

"Let's go!" Katsuo pulled his father anxious to see his sister.

"Hey, calm down."

Upon opening the bedroom door, Kenji completely forgot to be silent and made a fuss, shouting excitedly to see you after so many hours. The baby started crying over the noise, and Kakashi scolded himself for being so sloppy with the youngest. But you didn't seem to care about the situation, in fact, the boy's enthusiasm rubbed off on you as you tried to get the baby calm again.

Kakashi took Kenji on his arms and carefully approached him by your side on the bed when he saw that he was trying to climb up, but he couldn't win due to his low height. Katsuo ran to stay on the other side and they both knew to admire their little sister.

"Why is her face so weird?" Kenji as usual had no filter.

"She was just born." you told him sympathetically and they expected to pepper you with questions about her, coming one after another like a train.

"Boys, slow down." he warned the boys "your mother is tired."

"Sorry, Mommy."

"All good." you looked at Katsuo who was sitting on the bed with you "Want to hold her?"Even though he was big, Kakashi didn't feel confident letting his son hold the baby.

"Y/n..." he was going to try to tell you that Katsuo was still too young to hold his sister.

"It's okay, Kakashi." you tried to reassure him "He won't put her down, kids younger than he babysit."

You pulled Katsuo closer to you, instructing him on what to do to hold the girl. You stayed alert and put an arm around the boy to prevent him from ending up knocking her over.

"I want to hold too."

"Not you, you little dwarf." Kakashi immediately intervened, leaving no chance for the 6 year old to consider holding the baby. You sighed at his attitude of not trusting boys.

"What is her name?" Katsuo asked you as soon as he held his sister.

"Do you want to name her?" you made an offer.

"Sayuri!" Kenji shouted, excited to be able to choose the baby's name

"What?! Where did you get that horrible name?" You see they were going to start arguing about which name to choose and immediately regretted it "It's going to be Misaki.

"You're just saying that because it's the name of the girl you like!" In fact, Kenji was quite the gossip. You didn't even know about this girl.

"The girl you like, is it?" Kakashi teased his son by ruffling his hair and making the boy blush.

"Kakashi!" You warned him to stop teasing a child. "How do you end up knowing so much stuff, you little brat?" You asked Kenji pulling his nose playfully, which made him laugh.

"What do you think of the name Rin?" Kakashi asked you suddenly, worried about your reaction.

"Rin? Like Daddy's friend?" Katsuo asked confused.

"If you don't mind, of course." He added to you expectantly

"Rin..." You repeated the name, testing how it sounded "Sounds good." you said smiling, knowing how much that meant to him. You know how much Kakashi feels guilty for her death, they were just kids at the time and they had to go through so much.

"I liked too." Kenji said taking you by surprise.

"Snow!" Katsuo said excitedly as he looked at the window behind

It messed you up, you lost your last baby on a winter night. And the season that already showed sadness, despite its built-in beauty, had become even sadder with the memory of your son. But now your little girl has come to give the season a new meaning, a good one.

You looked at the little girl again, taking her out of Katsuo's arms to let him run to the window with his brother to watch the first snowflakes fall. You let the baby girl play with your index finger, grabbing it with her chubby little hands.

Kakashi who came down beside you kissed his daughter's forehead and then your temple.

"I love you."

That was the first time in years he said he loved you verbally.

"You and they are the light of my life." He brushed a few strands of hair off your face, "I couldn't have asked for anything better."

"Thanks, Kakashi." If you were already crying rivers of joy at the birth of your daughter, he just made you cry an ocean. He didn't need you to say you loved him back, having heard you say it many times already.

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