#it will make both our lives much easier
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taylor swift lyrics that keep u up at night?
*takes a deep breath*
remember looking at this room, we loved it cause of the light now i just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time.
(oversharing in the tags)
#i know it's not the most obvious choice and i think i've never talked about this line before#but i think it will keep me up at night for the rest of my life#so when i heard you're losing me for the first time i was in a very similar situation#most of you don't even know i was engaged and had the most terrible break up this year#it's easier when someone breaks up with you#it's much harder when you have to make that decision#and the hardest when you know you made this decision already but you're not sure if it's actually the time...#and i feel like both taylor and i knew it was the only option but we were never 100% sure if it's time to go#if that makes sense#i did eventually#i still remember moving into our apartment 3+ years ago when we were still happy#and then spending last six months of our relationship alone in this apartment knowing it's going nowhere and i have to leave eventually#and moving out in june to my own small cozy place i live in now#but i never even got closure#so i still didn't fully recover#and it will haunt me forever#trust me this line always makes me cry#ugh#sorry for that#i still miss him sometimes even tho he was a bad person#thanks for the ask tho#i feel like i wanted to say all of that long ago and you just gave me a perfect opportunity to do that#so i'm grateful ❤️#yes i got your letter yes i'm doing better*
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lazy scribbling of my baldur's gate 3 characters
#*emerges from 430 HOURS of life-changing playtime blearily like a lost and confused kitten*#i lost my interest in drawing bc everything is too sad & horrible right now. it was a luxury and privilege to lose myself in this instead#what follows will be my personal and trivial emotions about that#i'll do better proper drawings later. for me. they are both so very dear to me... deeply dear...unforgettable journeys of fate#truly have played like one possessed for the past few weeks. you have no idea. what do i do now. what do i do.#their personalities are so vivid to me though they mostly made the same choices. both intersex and they/them - canonically <3#i missed out on FOUR PARTY MEMBERS in my first playthrough due to not understanding anything whatsoever.#gloaming ended up with wyll and pavane romanced karlach and astarion. and ended up with the one i did NOT plan on. this wasnt the plan#one of the most fulfilling romance paths i've ever..i cant say more..it all got too immersive and now i have to just.. MOVE ON ??????????#live in THIS world where i can't gut imperialism personally and emerge alive from that?#without Long Resting? without my character requesting a kiss from their beloved after a tough day ??#without preparing my little spells? without channelling divinity from my death god to keep us all alive?#without dyeing my man's clothes fancy colours for him? without him Approving whenever i lie and double-cross our enemies#without sharing clothes with my ex? without choosing to eat the heavy food first so that the weight is easier on her Carrying Capacity?#without orchestrating ways for all of my friends to kill the abusers that ruined their lives for a decade or even 200 years?#without experiencing degrading horrors on a daily basis but in a cathartic way where we always make it back to our rooms at the inn#WITHOUT SPEAK WITH ANIMALS???????????#at least there's music. just like with persona 5 that will always be with me. always#like how p5 melodies take me back to those feelings. those rich and personal feelings.... BUT THIS WAS A WAY MORE NUTS EXPERIENCE#i thought i would hate it. i did at times. thought it would desensitise me to various things. it did. but there was so much more..it was...#Well anyway *continues my life* imagine if dnd was real..something to think about
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I kinda wish Matthew would make a podcast or something of him just talking and talking about anything, really. I just love listening to his voice, I could do it forever, over and over and over and never get tired of it. It's just so beautiful lmaoo.
#no but seriously#i love him and i love his voice and i love every single thing about him#he should marry me it'd make both our lives much easier i bet#but anyway someone please tell him to do it please#mgg#Matthew Gray Gubler
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It's interesting to note how the Tabris Origin, which involves a wedding, kidnapping and attempted sexual harassment, and fighting your way through an estate full of guards, is the Origin where gender plays a huge role in what story you experience. M!Tabris will always storm the castle coming to the rescue of his cousin and his betrothed, while F!Tabris will always have to fight her way out because the men in her life can't fully protect her (Nelaros dies, Soris literally hands her the sword, Cyrion is powerless to stop the abduction. Okay, this may be a little unfair to Soris who does fight side by side with Tabris and counsels caution the same way regardless of Tabris's gender). I'd go so far as to say that Tabris is the only Origin where the gender of your PC has a definite impact on the story.
TLDR to the rant in the tags: Tabris is constrained on all sides by being an elf, by their gender, in part by their family, and by society at large (both the Alienage and the wider city).
#bumble our guys are occupying my mind again. the origin defines their roles and experiences so#a lot has been said about the superficial equality of men and women in dragon age: they are equal from a legal point of view#both can become soldiers inherit or assume a position of political and social authority#but that's pretty much it#that experiment aside i think for the tabris story it's interesting. tabris is so contrained#don't go out of the alienage at night. don't anger the shem#don't carry weapons. don't insult them. live in squalor & misery with no hopes of social mobility. get married to a person you don't know#this happens to you because you are an elf. and this happens to you because you are playing as a man or a woman#the other origin where gendered violence might crop up is brosca and idk to what extent bc i haven't had much contact with f!brosca's story#but it would be just like beraht to make weird comments. aeducan gets a weird comment by trian too but that's it#but the alienage is a pressure cooker and the violence dealt unto its inhabitants has a perverse amount of nuance#unlike the circle which is another pressure cooker but a different one the alienage has a better life and more opportunities paraded in#*front of its inhabitants at every waking hour. the mages don't have that jarring contrast (they are reminded of how bad they have it in#*other ways but violence is much easier to normalize in closed communities. there is a reason uldred was able to stoke a rebellion after#*having been at ostagar. one taste of fresh air and that stuffy tower must've been hell awaiting. even wynne takes ger first chance to gtfo#the alienage however knows with striking clarity what it doesn't have. and that hurts. that stings. this ramble went way off track#but my main point is that tabris is constrained on all sides while at the same time having a better life dangled in front of their nose#*every single waking hour. no wonder their origin ends in massacre at their hands#the dam has broken loose. the water is finally cooking over and the pressure cooker explodes#tabris has a body count comparable to that of a seasoned criminal (brosca) and of a knight defending their invaded home (cousland)#which is freaking impressive if you ask me#dragon age#dao#dragon age origins#tabris#warden tabris#f!tabris#m!tabris#astala tabris
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im gonna go off on one in the tags pls enjoy
#ive been going by jay online since i was 13 irl since i was 15/16 and my mum cant get used to it#me my friend and both our mums hung out last week and i heard my mum telling his mum 'i just cant get used to [their] name. they want to be#called /jay/ but i just cant do it' literally everyone else including my brother and my dad uses my chosen name#apart from when theyre around my mother! because her force of disgust is definitely more important than my agency and want to be called by#my own name... i have been thinking about wanting to be called another name like. interchangably with my name#and i think id go with yasha. its the diminutive of jay so like. if we friends i want to be yasha x#but also realising how much i want to have autonomy over my name came from picking a name in 2021 for practise in chinese#and my friend helping me decide between something that sounds similar (林植 cos the first character kinda sounds like my eng surname) and a#more literal translation where i was like the translation of jay is 松鸦 i could use that haha and she went but the 鸦 character is awful#you could be 松雅! its then a pun and makes me sound fancy. and i was so happy just making choices and getting to like#pick my own name that peoplw could use. really a revelation. anyway i was kinda on hold for a bit living at home but now im freer hearing#her go on that 'jays choice of name is so hard on me' rant really made me..... start thinking and reminiscing about my name. and me. u know#jay wasnt even my choice its just my initials that i started going by as like. plausible deniability that i wanted to change my name#i remember thinking more about it when i was younger and deciding against other names Specifically because it would be easier to go#'its just my initials!' yeah. im 25 is it too late to change names#sorry for long rambly disjointed rant. hope this was enlightening if u made it this far
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hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP
#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI#hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA#(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent#he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy#cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me#its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird#idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on#a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but#STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also#i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it#look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could#make me worse <3 I Want Him#and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3#i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER#OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really#GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3
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one thing that has stuck with me from the latest kerfuffle i got into on twitter is like. there was one person arguin w one the homies that my bio stating i was white isnt accurate because white people cant be people of colour or a poc so putting 'white' in my bio was the reason people wouldnt acknoweldge Im mixed. and like. that shit has stuck w me
cuz to me that seems fucked up towards mixed ppl like me who have that white background mixed with some non-white identity. but thinking about it i can ABSOLUTELY understand the idea of it due to the notion that white people cannot be poc. cuz that sentence in itself is SENSIBLE. like oh Obviously white people cannot be in the non-white community, so therefore mixed people 'cannot' identify as white????
but i keep thinking about it cuz. wow that shit really pointed out an issue that is so obviously present when it comes to recognizing and acknowledging mixed people like me. Because regardless of how much of a Person Of Colour i am or how much aboriginal background i got, i look very white. I have possibly more typically white experiences than typically aboriginal ones. I have blue eyes as when i was a kid I had naturally blonde hair and there was the joke that i was the whitest in my family because of it. which despite the joke is pretty damn true. people dont see me on the street and say oh thats an indigenous person, and the extremely rare times someone sees me as non-white its usually another indigenous person yknow.
I think its like. its kinda led to this revelation of mine i suppose. On one hand i've come to terms with the idea that i am Aboriginal AND white in the sense that i cant just pick either or as both aspects of me have influenced my entire existence as a mixed person. but its really hit home on why i've struggled so much with seeing myself as being in the non-white community or recognizing myself as a person of colour. because the only 'requirement' of being a poc is Not being white. but does that instantly eliminate all mixed white and non-white people like me from being anything other than white? does that not just further the notion that mixed ppl have to just 'pick a side'? Wouldnt decrying my white identity to be a poc then just diminish my own experiences with white privilege and passing as white?
#ask to tag#idk i think its like. when it comes to racial groups and racialized peoples it tends to seem more#black and white (lmao)#in the sense that ethnicity and race isnt something changeable therefore it is treated as more concrete aspects of identity#rather than the fluidity of gender or sexuality when it comes to identity#but in actuality. its really not so easy with race either#like the lines between races and even between that of being white and being non-white isnt so clear#like ive spent years feeling guilt for my identity. as a kid i tried to get rid of my indigenous identity#and somewhat more recently i felt guilty for being white#and its only recently ive resolved that i can be both#but i hadnt explicitly thought about how much of an outlier that makes me#but honestly with mixed white poc i feel its worse to try and limit or get rid of the white aspects of us#like we cannot ignore how it has benefited us or how our general ease as being seen as white has made our lives easier#like i always think of a friend i had in highschool who was also native#but she had the more traditional features of darker skin and black or dark hair unlike me#and we bonded a lot over our aboriginal identity#but the fact she experienced more blatant descrimination than me was a constant factor in our relationship#like it is not something us white poc should not ignore! our expiriences with both privilege and descrimination is unique and unavoidable#i feel the idea of you cannot be white and a poc really tries to bury the privilege of that though. and thus the varied experiences#idk man i been thinkin bout it a lot#like maybe the inclusion of white people who are mixed should be noted in non-white circles more. because of this weird#inbetween we have
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Trans kiryu is a genuinely funny hc because like trans majima is like oohh angst ohh she has to fight to be accepted she has to deal with people making fun of her for being a man in a dress she has to take into account her position and social standing and kiryu is literally just kiryu forever because the universe loves him too much to ever force him into a situation unless its to go to prison in which case hes like yayyy i love jail yayy yayyy
#Yakzua loveblog#im just talking to myself you guys dont need to read anything#in fact dont read this im going to talk about transphobic nishiki again anyway#my transphobic nishiki hc is the most important one to me because. like we all need to have some transphobic people in our lives#i do think that nishiki calls him ‘kiryu’ even though theyre best friends forever because when nishiki will always accidentally say his#deadname instead of ‘kazuma’ even though i know that nishiki is literally the one who gave him the name kazuma to make fun of kiryu for#thinking hes a boy and it just kind of stuck but nishiki eventually stuck. with calling him kiryu because thats how he prefers to be called#they are bestfriends for a reason .... and nishiki is the only one kiryu will let be transphobic towards him because theyve known each other#for forever and he knows he means no harm by it like he will still hit him but nishiki takes it in stride because its their thing and its#never not funny to make kiryu annoyed like for anyone else its an uncrossable line but once a month nishiki will lead kiryu into the womens#section to shop for new clothes and kiryus like Somehow i always knew you wore womens jeans and nishikis like HEY !!!!#but as kids they were always very cute because theyre always together and you can never really tell whos following who because it seems like#theyre on the same wavelength until nishiki realises that life is so much easier when youre working smart so he went to work on his INT stat#while kiryu never stopped being a wild animal like hes literally some sort of monkey to me sorry for dehumanising him because of his autism#like i adore his ‘own little bubble’ way of life as long as he’s physically okay kiryus not going to complain about anything. like when he#said ‘i decide to do things based on whether i love it or hate it’ im like Yeah i bet you do. he sits outside the orphanage all day playing#with rocks until nishiki comes finds him then they both go outside to smash open windows with the rocks kiryu has gathered and kiryus in his#little skirt and he always uses it to carry things in you know how it is and he stopped going to school to be a bigger menace than everyone#anyway did i mention that the universe loves kiryu. especially his genes he was very lucky because he never had a big chest or nothing he#was always going to get tall and thick in the shoulders and beefy and when he cut his hair it just sealed the deal he passed with flying#colours like young children are indistinguishable by gender unless they have a big pink bow in their hair but kiryu radiated masculinity#from a young age and his aggressive way of life didnt help. well it helped a lot actually. a lot of people were scared of him and nishikis#like dont be scared of kiryu shes nice when you get to know her and everyones like ?? thats a girl ???#in fact it made more sense for kiryu to be a boy at that point so he went to kazama and told him and kazama was like ok lets make it happen#like kiryu and nishiki are so special because there is nobody in the universe more transphobic to kiryu than his own brother but also nishik#was the one helping kiryu shop for boy clothes when he was clueless about it like hes not stupid but he really doesnt know about fashion and#he trusts nishiki to not make him look stupid and nishiki is of course like 😏 well well well youre having a girl moment arent you#nishiki is okay with kiryu being a guy because this means that now whenever kiryu hits him he can fight back without being misogynistic#okay im done talking my noodles are getting cold but kiryu as a kid would have been a veritable nightmare#oh yeah my trans beam extended to nishitani as well because just look at him. everybody majima wants to sex is trans
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Your breakup really really reminds me of my first (and only) wlw relationship/breakup everything you're saying hits home a lot. You will get through it but tbh it's so hard to heal and it still grinds my gears when I think about her and how we broke up. Idk if that helps but I understand what you're going though
YEAH MAN ITS TOUGH OUT HERE FR!!! its not my first queer relationship but like something about this is genuilnely the most world-shattering romantic experience ive had cuz we went into this soooo head over heels for each other like we were literally moving SO fast. and at the time i was like is it ok for us to even be moving this fast (probs tmi but we were literally making out shirtless by like 2nd time we even made out) (probs not a big deal to most people but i experienced a LOT of new things with her that id never experienced befoer & the fact that i was so WILLING to do it so fast was what surprised me the most) but then i was like okk whateverrr i really like how fast we're moving. and i was like 'damn if were moving this fast & if im feeling so good it has to end soon right like theres no way life is going to let me just be happy w this' and then i was like 'no elts not think about it' and then what do you know 5 months later she brekas up w me. and neither of us did anything wrong but it was so random??? like i dont understand how one moment shes telling me how excited she is to spend the entire semester with me and then literally 36 hours later tell me shes not feeling an emotional connection but wont even give us the chance to work it out. i know she also broke it off for personal reasons but its like... this was something we could have TRIED to work out you know!!! maybe it wouldnt have worked in the end but literally nothing felt off to me at all & if id known she was feeling this way i wouldve done my best to make things better. the entire breakup was so sudden and honestly im really not mad at her because i know how nerve-wracking it is to be in your first relationship. i think its just that im really dispapointed she gave up on us so easily you know??? didnt even give us a chance to figure it out
#sorry you didnt ask for a rant but man im not even going to lie the main reason i even rant about this on tumblr is cuz its so much easier#than talking to my friends#not cuz theyre not kind & underestanding and stuff. i mean just generally ive always been better at saying things by writing anonymously#like i never cry on my friends but this was the first time ive ever done that and even then#every time i tell someone i broke up with her i generally dont feel anything i feel like im just retelling a story#other than that one time i cried on my firend#like its just so much easier ranting on tumblr than telling my friends. also if eel really bad ranting to my friends#cuz i know they care abou tme but also like how much of 'i want her back' are they going to take yk??#every time i get tipsy i start complaining about how much i miss her and these past few weeknds my friends have heard an earful of tipsy me#like i jstu dont wnat to burden them like that#but yeah anyway. i feel you anon this shit is so hard#and i feel like the other thing is when its a hetero-presenting relationship friends find it easier to be like 'fuck him / her!!'#and obviously thats not always going to make the person feel better cuz EVERYONE is complex but in a way its nice feeling that support from#friends. but my dating experiences have always been queer and i feel so guilty any time someone says 'fuck them! youre out of their league'#because like the thing about queer dating is i feel so much more understood and it all feels so much more intimate#and when you cant even get a 'fuck them' from your friends it just feels so alienating in a way#idk how to explain it#obviuosly if the ex is a cheater then its valid to be 'fuck them' but in my case none of them have cheated & theyre both very copmlex peopl#weve all done probelmatic things to each other yk#i think its just like. how am i suposed to get over her when our relationship doesnt feel like it should have ended at all#like it was NOT our time!!! NOTHING felt off or wrong or anything!! i thought we were really happy!!#i think she broke it off in part because she was afraid of the moment things went wrong but man this hurts much worse#cuz at least if things started going wrong it would make SENSE to break it off. but BEFORE things go wrong? this pain just feels unnecessar#anyway heres to hoping my insta stories trying to look hot convince her that she messed up and she should totally date me again#and well live happily ever after for at least a few more months#anon tag#asks
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I'm back home from my trip!!! If you ever get the chance to travel to the literal opposite side of the country to meet you're online friends I very strongly recommend!!!!
I arrived and immediately subjected my friend to an over 10 minute long hug, very proud of myself for that one. (Before we'd made plans to meet I'd made a threat that when we meet in person I'd hug them for 10 minutes straight. Mission accomplished!)
#we drove and it took several days and thats something im fine with but...#i will not be making out of state trips with this driver ever again omg it was very not great#other friend arrived and i went to give them a 10 minute hug to but they were to tall and my shoulder popped out of socked so got cut short#in the future my sibling and i plan on going there again for conventions so we will definitely get to see our friends irl again!!!#if driving doesnt work im pretty sure theres a roundabout way to take the train. which might also be cheaper considering gas#due to both of us having pots and me bringing my wheelchair we cant just take a plane which would make life so much easier aha#and not to like half dox myself. have i ever said around where i live? driving through the backroads of Oklahoma is terrifying! i hated that#anyways i will stop my rambling now hahahah#but no actually for real meeting my friends in person was so amazing im still so so happy and ecstatic about it :D#crab says words
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Tim Walz and his wife don’t own a single stock. Their only investment is in their state pensions. He supports safer gun legislation. He supports meaningful housing reform (namely policies that make building housing - the only thing that will solve this crisis - easier). He supported queer youth in an era where support was even more difficult to come by than it is now, and he still does. He has a pittbull lab mix named Scout. He regularly asks his daughter what’s important to her and what her peers are saying on Tik Tok. He supports abortion access. He was a geographer and a teacher and only entered politics because he got so mad that one of his class field trips to a political rally was cut short by a republican staffer who denied them entry because of a student’s John Kerry pin.
He was also developed in a lab specifically for the purpose of appealing to as many white Americans as possible. He grew up on a farm in Nebraska in a community of ~400 people. He joined the Army National Guard at 17. He coached football, taking a losing team to the state championships. He hunts. He goes to the state fair every year. He uses diet mountain dew as a sobriety aid.
This was a smart pick from Harris. It’s clear from their interactions at the rally that he’s there to support her rather than hog the spotlight, as I worried Shapiro would have done. They’re able to put forward this “happy warrior” campaign together because they have good chemistry and are young enough not to be falling asleep on the job. They’re both corny as hell. They might pull this off.
No ticket is ever going to be perfect. I have always been left of the ticket and I suspect I may always be, but this is a real step in the right direction, and there’s so much more energy in this campaign. I’m feeling so much more hopeful than I was a couple months ago.
Make sure you’re registered to vote (voting rolls have been purged in places all over the country. I myself had to re-register recently, and will be checking regularly). Make sure you know what’s happening downballot in your district, because those races and initiatives are vitally important, too. Support local politicians doing excellent work.
For instance, these may be the people responsible for making new bike lanes, transit options, and housing developments possible. Where I live one of these (young, awesome) politicians was recently run out of office by insane nimby whiners sending death threats to his family. I wonder if he’d been able to stick it out if more people were paying attention and vocally supporting him. National-stage MAGA politicians are not the only people fighting to make our lives harder, so it’s worth figuring out who’s fighting against the wine-and-property class hoarding all the quality of life in your town. Find out who’s fighting to shut down your library and who’s telling that person “over my dead body.” Then go to the polls armed with that knowledge.
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It may be a new year, however, Gaza is continuously experiencing genocide. Right now women and children are the main victims. As you can see it is very do-able to spread the word whilst being on theme of your blog so there is no excuse. The smallest of contributions we can make are:
- To use our platforms to spread awareness about what is being inflicted on Palestinians. Not posting about it does not mean that it is no longer happening.
- To avoid posting about rich mediocre celebrities that have either, shown support for Zionism, spread misinformation or have not uttered a word about what’s happening, simply because they showed up for fashion week or any major event.
- Boycotting businesses has proven to be effective. Many corporations have lost billions because of their blatant support for the genocide in Gaza. We live in a capitalist society, but we also have collective power. Both of which has made boycotting that much easier.
#free palestine#free gaza#ceasfire now#ceasefire#palestine#gaza#women#gender#feminism#barbie#oscars#oscar nominations
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── ୨୧ ! TOO MUCH
chris sturniolo x reader
SUMMARY: Where Matt and Nick say some hurtful things to Chris during a fight, bringing his insecurities to life and causing him to turn to his anchor, Y/N.
WARNING: Insecurities, fighting, crying, anxiety attack.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
༻✦༺ ༻✧�� ༻✦༺
The noise in the living room had escalated from playful teasing in front of the camera to sharp, biting words. Chris stood behind the kitchen table, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he glared at Matt and Nick, who were both looking at him from the other side of the table with expressions caught between frustration and exasperation.
"Do you ever think before you act, Chris?" Matt's voice was, surprisingly, raised, an edge of impatience in his tone. "We can’t get through one day without you doing something childish and making a scene, or worse, making our videos look like shit because of it!"
Chris’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond immediately, his eyes darting between his brothers, trying to make sense of how things had gotten so out of hand.
"I wasn’t trying to do anything." He muttered finally, his voice barely above a whisper laced with hurt. "I was just... being myself."
"Yeah, exactly." Nick jumped in, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "And that’s the problem. You’re always yelling and doing the most, Chris. It’s just... exhausting, okay?"
Chris clenched his fists, jaw tight as he glared at Nick, feeling himself crumbling a bit because sure, he’s too much. Sure, he speaks too loud and had opinions about everything and wasn’t afraid to share them, even if they were about the silliest things. Sure, he feels cornered and childish and immature and annoying, and most of what they're saying is probably true, but hearing his own brothers say it out loud... it pains his heart.
"You know, that’s actually rich coming from you." He shot back, his voice carrying a frustration he couldn’t hold back, trying to disguise his pain with anger. "You’re always the first to say that people watch us because we’re different, because even though we look the same, we're still different. But all you ever do is complain that I’m not just like you or Matt!”
Nick’s expression shifted, taken aback by Chris’s words. But Nick wasn’t one to back down, his voice snapping back almost before Chris had finished speaking.
"That’s not what I’m saying at all!" He fired, eyes narrowing. "Is it so insane to want you to stop yelling and acting like a literal child in every video? We’re trying to be professional, Chris! People like us, yeah, but they won’t if you keep acting like-"
Chris dragged a hand over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead, trying to shut out Nick’s words, trying to drown out the overwhelming feeling of being misunderstood.
"... and we can’t keep dealing with it, Chris. Grow the fuck up."
The youngest felt his chest tighten even more. His greatest insecurity - one that clawed at his chest every night when he couldn’t sleep, when the silence around him became deafening - was now on full display, brutally brought to life by the people he trusted most.
The internet was relentless in labeling him as "the weird one", the "annoying triplet", just because he was loud and talked too much, just because he was unapologetically himself. He’d laugh it off, of course, joke about it even because it was easier to pretend it didn’t bother him. But deep down, those words haunted him, scraping at the edges of his self-worth, making him wonder if maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t enough.
And now, hearing Matt and Nick throw those same words at him... he felt hollow. Like all the air had been knocked from his lungs. They knew. They knew how those comments got to him, how hard he tried to ignore it, to rise above the criticism.
"Fine." He said bitterly, hating how his voice trembled slightly as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "I’ll get out of your way, then."
He pushed his weight off of the table, preparing himself to get out of there, but as Chris stormed away, Nick's frustration boiled over, and he turned to Matt, his voice sharp and incredulous.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He hissed, his eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and disbelief.
But Chris kept walking, his shoulders tense as he made his way to the stairs, refusing to let himself look back. His brothers’ voices felt like static at this point, blending into the background as he forced himself to keep going.
Behind him, Matt muttered under his breath, an edge of impatience creeping in.
"Why is he being so dramatic?" He called, exasperation evident in his tone. "Chris, just come back, man! Let’s finish this video."
But Chris didn’t even slow down. Each word felt like salt in a wound he was struggling to ignore, a constant reminder that he wasn’t on the same level as them, that they were all looking at him like he was the problem.
Maybe he was.
As he went down the stairs, his mind was racing, every emotion simmering just below the surface.
His hands trembled slightly as he reached his bedroom door, a mix of anger, shame, and sadness twisting in his chest, his breath hitching as he struggled to keep it together. He wanted to scream, to push all the hurt away.
Finally, he opened the door and stepped inside.
Y/N - curled up on his bed with notebooks spread around her and laptop balanced on her knees - looked up instantly, a huge smile spreading across her face as she noticed him, her expression so genuinely happy to see him that it made his heart ache even more.
"Hi, honey! How was filming?" She greeted brightly, unaware of the turmoil written across his face.
But her smile faltered quickly as she took in his red-rimmed eyes, the way his face seemed almost haunted, his body tense and trembling as he stood frozen in the doorway. She blinked, worry flashing across her features.
"Chris? Hey, what happened?" The girl whispered, and her words were like a lifeline, breaking the dam he’d tried so hard to keep in place.
She was quick in put her work together, placing her notebooks and laptop gently onto the floor beside her, leaving it all opened for her to come back to it later, her arms instinctively opening up to him.
"Come here, baby."
Without another thought, Chris crossed the room and collapsed into her open arms, sinking onto the bed as if the weight of the world had become too much for him to bear alone.
His arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his face burrowing into her shoulder as if he could somehow hide from everything that had been clawing at him. His legs slid between her thighs, his body curling into hers, every part of him drawn in close, seeking refuge in the only place that felt safe.
Y/N didn’t say anything at first. She could feel the way his shoulders shook, the silent sobs racking through him as he tried to hold back, his breath catching painfully against her neck. She held him even tighter, her hands slipping up to cradle the back of his head, her fingers threading gently through his fluff hair as she pressed soft, reassuring kisses to his forehead, his temple, anywhere she could reach.
"Shh... It’s okay, sweetheart." She murmured softly, pressing her lips to his line of hair. "I'm here. You're safe. Just breathe, Chris. Just breathe, baby."
But Chris felt anything but safe in his own skin. Shame and hurt twisted inside him, tightening like a vice around his chest. He tried to fold himself even smaller, curling tighter into her, trying to somehow look smaller for a 5'8 grown man, pressing his body as close to hers as he could.
He wanted to disappear, to melt into her embrace, and let the world live freely without his presence. The words Matt and Nick had thrown at him - the very same words he read online, the labels he was used to brushing off - felt so true, so much a part of him that he couldn’t deny them.
Childish. Annoying. Immature.
He hated himself in that moment, hated how much he cared, hated how the words dug under his skin, making him feel unworthy, unloved.
"Am I... am I really that annoying?" He whispered, his voice cracking and sounding more horse than it should. "Do you... Do you think I’m too much, too?"
Y/N’s heart twisted painfully as she heard his words, the broken way he spoke them. She frowned deeply, pulling back just enough to look down at him, her hand cupping his wet cheek as she met his gaze, her thumb brushing away a stray tear that had slipped down his face.
"Oh, sweetheart..." She shook her head gently, her voice laced with disbelief and fierce love. "No. No, Chris, of course not. You’re not annoying. You’re not too much. You’re everything I could ever want. You’re perfect exactly the way you are."
He clenched his fists, gripping onto Y/N’s hoodie - or better, his own blue hoodie -, his knuckles white with the force of it as he tried to agree with her, but her words didn’t seem to reach him. His brow furrowed, his eyes filling with fresh tears as he choked out.
"They said... They said I’m always yelling, being loud, making a scene... like I’m always... embarrassing them." His voice caught on the last words, his breath hitching as he fought to keep from breaking down completely.
Y/N held him tighter, her hand moving to the bottom of his white shirt, traveling inside of it only to rub soothing circles along his naked back as she spoke in a soft, steady tone, hoping her words would anchor him.
"Chris, they love you. They’re just... they don’t understand how much their words hurt sometimes. But that doesn’t mean you’re a burden or that you’re too much. You bring so much joy and energy to everything. That’s part of who you are, and it’s one of the things I love most about you."
He shook his head slightly, his breathing coming faster as anxiety started to build again, overtaking him.
"I... I just don’t get it. One minute, they’re saying people watch us because we’re different... and then they tell me I should be more like them. I don’t... I don’t know how to be that. I tried so hard to be like them, you have to believe me, but I don’t know how to change who I am-"
Y/N felt the depth of his frustration in the desperate way that he begged, wanting - no, needing - her to believe him. She cupped his face gently, urging him to look at her.
"You don’t have to change, Chris. Not for anyone. You’re enough just as you are, baby. And you’re not a burden. Not to me, not to anyone who really sees you and loves you for who you are."
He nodded slowly, finally trying to take a deep breath, only to feel like his nose was closed and his throat was being chocked by invisible hands. He closed his eyes forcefully, biting his bottom lip in concentration as he tried to breathe in a gulp of air that never seemed to be enough. Chris could feel his heart tightening, his chest struggling in the quick movements of going up and down too many times in a second.
"Can't- I... Please-" He tried, tightening his hands around her hoodie, panicking with the anxiety attack that seemed to come so suddenly.
"Hey, hey, Chris. Sweetheart, you’re okay." Y/N whispered softly, her voice a calming presence against the storm inside him. She shifted slightly, one hand now resting on his chest with a firm press as she guided him through deep breaths, her own voice slow and steady. "Come on, just breathe with me, okay? In... and out... Nice and slow. I’m right here with you."
Following her lead, Chris pressed his eyes tighter in a way that made him see stars behind his eyelids, focusing on the rhythm of her voice, the rise and fall of her own breathing against his fists. With each exhale, he felt a bit of the tension release, his chest loosening as he tried to match her calming breaths.
Gradually, his racing heart began to slow, the adrenaline draining from his body, leaving him feeling heavy, exhausted.
Y/N smiled softly, brushing her fingers through his hair as she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.
"There you go. That’s it... Well done, my strong boy. Now, just relax. I’ve got you."
As his breathing evened out, Chris opened his eyes slowly, his blurred gaze meeting hers with a vulnerability that tore at her heart.
"You don’t have to carry all of this alone, Chris. I’m always here for you, no matter what. You’re safe with me, okay? I love you... so much." She leaned down, pressing another kiss to his forehead as she held him close, her voice soft.
The gentle reassurance, the quiet love in her words wrapped around him like a blanket, pulling him further into her warmth. His eyelids grew heavier, the tiredness finally catching up with him as he let himself surrender to the comfort of her arms, a quiet whine escaping his throat.
"I know, honey. Sleep." Y/N whispered, a tender smile on her lips as she cradled him closer, holding him like a mother would hold her kid, her hands tracing soothing patterns along his back. "You can rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up."
As she continued to whisper soft reassurances, her fingers running gently through his hair, Chris’s breathing finally evened out, his body relaxing completely in her arms. His head rested on the curve of her neck, his arms still wrapped around her waist as he drifted off, his pain and worries slipping away in the safety of her embrace.
Y/N leaned down, pressing one last, lingering kiss to his hair before laying her cheek against his head, her arms wrapped securely around his body as she watched over him.
"I love you, sweet boy."
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
A couple of hours had passed, the sunsetting casting a soft, warm light over Chris’s room, where he and Y/N lay wrapped together on the bed. Chris’s face was nestled against her shoulder, his breathing steady and calm now, his chest rising and falling in sync with hers.
Outside the room, Matt and Nick exchanged a glance. They’d been standing in the hallway for nearly five minutes, trying to muster the courage to knock. Their earlier argument with Chris had weighed heavily on both of them, guilt twisting in their stomachs as they replayed every hurtful word that had left their mouths.
Finally, Matt raised his fist and knocked softly on Chris’s door, the faint sound echoing in the silence. When there was no answer, he hesitated, glancing at Nick before slowly pushing the door open.
They both froze at the sight before them. Chris and Y/N were curled up together on the bed, Chris’s face still damp from tears as he lay against her, completely relaxed in her arms. Y/N had one arm around his shoulders, her fingers resting in his hair, while her other hand was hiding inside his shirt, holding his back, cradling him protectively. They looked peaceful.
Matt’s heart clenched at the sight, guilt intensifying as he took in Chris’s tear-streaked face. He glanced over at Nick, who was staring down at his feet, clearly feeling the same crushing remorse.
"Let's go. We can come back later." Matt muttered, pulling Nick towards himself before starting to back out of the room, thinking it might be best to give Chris a bit more time.
But just as they were about to close the door, Chris stirred, shifting slightly in Y/N’s arms. He nuzzled his head on her shoulder, his face just inches from the gentle slope of her neck where he could still catch the faint, familiar scent of her perfume mingling with the natural warmth of her skin.
He moved slightly, careful not to wake her, though his movement caused her to pull him in closer, her fingers instinctively brushing over his back. The feeling of her hand tracing small, soothing circles over his shoulder as if it was a muscle memory grounded him further, coaxing a soft sigh from him as he nuzzled deeper into her embrace, pressing a gentle, barely-there kiss to her neck.
When his sleepy eyes finally traveled around the room while gently stretching his legs between hers, he finally caught Matt and Nick's figures standing in the doorway.
His face fell the instant he realized they were there, his peaceful expression replaced by a guarded, distant look. Carefully, he eased himself up, making sure not to wake Y/N as he pulled himself away from her arms.
"Came for round two?" He looked at Matt and Nick, his sleepy voice laced with bitterness as he asked.
Nick swallowed, words catching in his throat as he struggled to find the right thing to say. What an irony. He opened his mouth but only managed to mumble, stumbling over his words as he tried to get them out.
Finally, Nick took a small step closer, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Chris, I... we came to say... We just..." His pearly teeth caged his bottom lip momentarily, taking a deep breath. "We love that you’re different."
Chris stared at him, incredulous, eyebrows raised as he scoffed softly.
"Different? That’s what you’re leading with?" His eyes narrowed, hurt simmering just beneath the surface. "So now I’m the ‘different’ one? Funny, ‘cause that didn’t seem to be a good thing a few hours ago."
Nick faltered, his face flushing as he realized his words weren’t coming out the way he intended. He tried again, tripping over his explanation.
"No, no, I... I didn’t mean it like that. I just-"
Chris took a deep, shaky breath, his gaze lowered as he avoided Nick and Matt's eyes, interrupting Nick.
"Look, I want to apologize, alright?" He started, his voice barely more than a murmur, thick with emotion. "I know it was all my fault and that I’m a lot to handle. I get it. I can be too loud, too... everything, really. And I know I’m not like you guys. I’ve tried so hard to be, but it’s just... not me." His words hung heavy in the room, his fingers twisting anxiously in his lap. "I feel like sometimes I just ruin things because I don’t know how to turn it off. You two seem to have this balance, you know when to joke and when to be serious, and I’m over here just... always pushing things too far."
He exhaled deeply, finally lifting his eyes to meet his brothers', the weight of insecurity and years of self-doubt written all over his face.
"I’m sorry if it feels like you have to put up with me. I’ve tried to be more like you, but it’s never enough. And sometimes... it just feels like who I am isn’t what anyone wants." His voice cracked at the last words, his vulnerability laid bare, and he quickly looked away, bracing himself for whatever they would say.
Nick and Matt shared a look, each seeing the guilt mirrored in the other’s eyes as Chris’s words sank in, cutting through them like a blade.
Matt felt his chest tighten, a pang of regret settling heavily in his stomach, making it hard to breathe. How could he have let Chris - his little brother, the boy who was always loving him no matter what - believe, even for a second, that he wasn’t wanted exactly as he was?
His legs moved on instinct, carrying him back into the room before he even registered it, straight to Chris, who looked so small and hurt, slumped at the edge of the bed. Kneeling down, Matt reached out, placing a steadying hand on Chris’s knee, his fingers gently pressing into his brother’s skin as if trying to ground him.
"Chris, you’re our little brother. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re too much for us." He swallowed, his voice wavering as he continued, willing Chris to see and feel every word. "I love you, man. We love you for who you are. You don’t need to change a thing. It’s your energy, your spark that makes everything better. You have this way of bringing life into everything, and that’s something I wouldn’t change for anything." He looked into Chris’s eyes, his own gaze filled with a raw honesty. "We need you to be you, Chris. No one else."
Nick’s heart clenched as he watched, his own guilt building with every second. Gaining control over the hurt and regret flooding him, he crossed the room in long strides, dropping down beside Matt. He looked up at Chris, his throat tight with emotion, the sight of his little brother so closed-off, so wounded, cutting deep. He was supposed to protect him, not hurt him.
"Yeah... you being another person? That’s not what we want at all. We’ve never wanted you to be anyone else. You’re perfect the way you are, Chris." Nick’s voice shook, filled with a determination to make Chris understand the truth, to undo every careless word he and Matt had thrown his way earlier. "I'm so, so sorry that we said all of those things and made you think so bad about yourself."
Chris’s defenses wavered, his resolve crumbling as he glanced between his brothers. Their sincerity seeped through, but doubt still clouded his gaze. He let out a heavy sigh, loosening his grip on his hoodie just a bit.
"You promise?" His voice was barely a whisper, fragile and laced with uncertainty, his fingers twisting anxiously into the fabric of his sleeve.
Without hesitation, Nick reached forward, taking Chris’s hands in his own, intertwining their fingers and squeezing firmly.
"We promise. We love how wild you are, how you’re always the one bringing the energy. You’re louder, sure, but that’s not something bad, it's exactly what makes you, you. You’re the happiest out of the three of us, Chris, and we wouldn’t change that for anything." He gave Chris’s hand another reassuring squeeze, feeling the smallest hint of relief when he saw the younger brother begin to relax, if only slightly.
Matt nodded, adding gently.
"And hey, I don’t think we need to be professional or act in a type of way for our videos to be good. The viewers love us for who we are... the mix of chaos and calm. That’s what makes us, us. It’s why they stick around."
Chris took a shaky breath, letting their words settle over him, feeling the weight of them begin to ease some of the pain. Slowly, he nodded, his fingers curling back around Nick’s reassuring grip.
"Okay."
Matt leaned forward, placing a hand on Chris’s shoulder.
"We’ll do better, alright? We’re brothers. We’re gonna mess up, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have each other’s backs. Always."
Chris exhaled deeply, finally letting the tension melt away as he leaned into their touch, the comfort of his brothers grounding him in a way only they could. Straightening himself, he managed a small, tired smile, his heart feeling a bit lighter.
"Yeah... always."
"Well, I’m really glad you guys are okay again." Y/N’s soft voice broke the silence, bringing all three heads up in surprise.
She moved with a quiet strength as she sat up and brushed her hand tenderly through Chris’s hair, watching his face light up as he realized she’d been awake all along.
"But just so we’re clear... if either of you hurt my baby like that again, you’re going to have to answer to me." She turned her gaze to Nick and Matt, a playful but fierce glint in her eyes.
"Y/N..." Chris dragged the last letter of her name in a whining tone, feeling flustered with how she called him 'her baby' in front of his brothers - even though they were more than accustomed with it.
Nick’s eyes widened jokingly with her threat, a chuckle escaping him. He lifted his hands in mock surrender, glancing at Matt as if to say, 'Well, we better watch out'. Matt nodded, eyes a bit sheepish, scratching the back of his neck.
"Alright, alright, no more ganging up on Chris. You have our word, Y/N."
Content with their promises, Y/N turned her attention back to Chris, opening her arms and pulling him into her embrace once more. He let out a soft sigh, sinking into her warmth, his head nestled against her shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him protectively, fingers tracing soothing circles along his back as she whispered.
"I told you they didn't mean it." He closed his eyes, letting her words wash over him, the last bits of hurt melting away.
Nick and Matt watched the two of them, a fondness softening their expressions.
"You know." She murmured, pulling Chris's head away from her chest and looking at him with a mischievous grin. "You’re pretty lucky to have all of us wrapped around your finger."
Chris laughed, a real laugh this time, the sound full of relief and love.
"Yeah, I know. I just... I guess I forget sometimes."
"Well." Nick started, squeezing Chris’s shoulder with a grin. "We’re not going anywhere. So next time, just remind us if we’re being idiots, alright?"
Chris nodded, glancing gratefully at each of them, feeling more grounded and cherished than he had in a long time.
#chris sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo x fem reader#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturiolo fanfic#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo x y/n#chris sturniolo x reader angst#chris sturniolo x reader fluff#christopher owen sturniolo#christopher sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets x reader#angst#fluff#insecure chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo oneshot#sturniolo#nick sturniolo x bff reader#matt sturniolo x bff reader
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Imagining Malleus is going through his heat cycle, and finds himself needing to be guided through the motions by none other than Lilia, of course. His subject? You.
(18+ minors DNI. Afab reader, fem pronouns.) this ones for you, bestie @masquerade-of-misery <3 live laugh love "threesomnia" LMAOOO
How you came into this predicament will be far beyond you. How you were now stripped bare by a hungry Draconic Fae, with your bare back pressed up against Lilias's chest, holding you in his grasp with his hands coming around to play with your sensitive mounds. His hands gently groped your tender breasts, flicking a finger over your hard nipples and pinching them at just the right pressure. Your back arched against his touch and a small and yearning moan elicited from your lips, Malleus looking down at you with a flushed face with his tongue licking his dry and hungry lips. Lilia chuckled at Malleus's eager display.
"It depends on the person," Lilia pointed out as if giving some sort of classroom lecture to the black-haired male, "Sensitivity of the breasts isn't uncommon. However, it seems our prefect here may need a little more than simple foreplay of the bosom to feel satisfied..." He rolled your nipples in his fingers and used the bulk of his palm to give a little squish to your breast, your breath becoming ragged as you melted into his touch, holding back a moan from the back of your throat. Lilia smiled at your rather simple reaction, before eyeing the shirtless fae that loomed over you. Malleus gave him a confused look before Lilia grabbed his hand and placed it on your chest.
Encouraging him to move in the way Lilia had, Malleus placed his much larger and dexterous fingers against your soft skin. His movements were much more uncertain, slow, and passionate versus the older fae whose touch left you thinking about the surprising amount of skill he had and the ability to understand your body the moment his fingers touched your skin. As Malleus gently kneaded your breasts with caution, you were shocked when suddenly you felt sharp teeth dig into the crook of your neck. You let out a yelp of surprise mixed with a moan that sounded rather confused and high-pitched- even your body at odds with the pleasure of your chest and the now throbbing of your neck. Malleus looked up in concern at this, almost glaring daggers at the other fae as if to ask; 'what did you do?'
"The neck," Lilia purred into your ear nibbling the lobe, "Is a rather sensitive spot for humans...biting it is also seen as a form of possessiveness, in both Fae and Human mating. Interesting, no?" Lilia smiled mischievously as he playfully licked the wound he had left, your body shivering at the wet muscle that scaled from the base of your neck before teasing its way to your jawline. Malleus eyed the cheeky fae that held you in his arms, before heading his mentor's words and leaning over to take his place between the other side of your neck. Lilia moved your hair to the side to allow Malleus easier access to mark your neck, his hands continuing his relentless motions on your chest. It seemed he had gotten rather carried away, for you winced in pain and exclaimed "Ow!" when Malleus's nail ended up scratching your nipple. He pulled away, looking at you in worry and quickly removing his hands from your body. Lilia chuckled at this, a seemingly common pastime for him at this point.
"Humans are delicate," Lilia said to Malleus almost to chastise him for his mistake, "Make sure she is alright, and then continue forward. You need to think what each of your body parts are doing, and adapt accordingly." Malleus's eyes caught yours.
"Are you alright, child of man?" He cooed gently, his honey-deep voice immediately setting aside any uneasiness you may have felt. You gave him a nod and the okay to continue, Lilia whispering "Good girl," In your ear before his hands snaked down to the bottom half of your body, also bare for the two men to be witness to. Your legs were closed the time they were experimenting with your breast and higher extremities, Lilia used a skilled hand to open your knee and allow your legs to spread in front of the draconic fae. Malleus stared down at your dripping cunt, taking notice of the slick that glistened around your hole. The growing bulge of his pants became much more apparent as it grew in size, practically begging to be freed from the confines of the fabric he so frustratingly wanted to be released from.
Lilias hand snaked down from your inner thigh to place two fingers over your folds and spread them apart, making the wetness between your legs much more apparent for Malleus to see. You instinctively felt a jolt of pleasure at such a simple touch, your legs almost snapping shut if it wasn't for Malleus quickly using his hands to force your legs apart. Lilias eyes cocked in surprise at this action, his lips curling in a coy smile before resuming his "lecture."
"Human women have their own lubricating system. When they are aroused, they produce this-" He used two of his fingers to rub a few lines from the pearl of your cunt and entrance, holding them up to show off the glistening clear substance that now covered his fingers. "This is how they prepare to take the male in." Malleus watched earnestly with rosy cheeks, almost drooling at the simple idea that you were ready to take him in. Taking this point as the next step, Malleus began to unbuckle his belt to release him of his constricting confines. Your eyes widened at this, and Lilia 'tsked' at this, shaking his head. Malleus looked up in mild annoyance at the red eyed fae.
"Although she produced her own lubricant," Lilia pointed out, "We still must make sure it's safe for her to take you. You must prepare her, first." Malleus furrowed his eyebrows at this, sitting back slightly holding back a growl of impatience.
"Does her body not automatically prepare her for such actions? Is that not the purpose of the lubricant?" Malleus inquired. Lilia shook his head and gently rubbed your thigh, as if thanking you for your patience.
"I understand your impatience, Malleus. But you must understand, despite the lubricant, we want to avoid any injury that may occur for being ill-prepared for the size in which she is to take. To prevent tearing or pain, it's best to prepare her first in order to stretch her out to better take you in. Especially in your case, since most human males only have one." You started at this sudden statement, looking back between the two men bewildered.
"O-one? What do you mean by that?" Lilia looked at you with eyes wide with confusion.
"Hm? I thought you were aware? Draconic fae actually has two phalluses. One is for keeping the entrance of their mate open, while the other is to push their seed in for breeding. Although...it would be in your benefit to start with one at first, to ease you into it." Your face fell at this information, looking back at Malleus with your eyes wavering in concern. Malleus leaned over you, using a hand to place upon your cheek and stroke it gently, his emerald green eyes glowing with lust and affection for you.
"Do not worry," Malleus cooed with his words of honey, "I will be sure to prepare you as Lilia instructs." Biting your bottom lip, you nodded and tilted your head back. Malleus planted a gentle kiss against your forehead before returning back to his original position, awaiting patiently for Lilias's next set of instructions. Lilia continued to hold you against his chest, looking at Malleus from behind your slightly trembling body. The trembling was out of slight fear of the possibility of two fitting inside of you, yet it seemed all the more tantalizing and exciting at the same time...
"Now Malleus," Lilia continued his instruction, his hands trailing back down to your folds using two fingers to caress your pearl in a mix of circular and vertical movements, teasing the inside of your hole with only the tip of his fingertips, not quite indulging into it. you whined and found yourself moving your hips in the hope of more friction, for the bat's touch was light and you felt yourself become impatient. Lilia ignored your feeble movements and continued to explain as if you weren't so needlingly begging for more. "Start with one finger, and when you feel it enough, you can continue to add more. You will be able to tell she's ready by how much she can take of your fingers without feeling too tight." Lilia suddenly pushed two fingers at once inside of you, urging Malleus forward. He watched eagerly as a satisfied hum escaped your lips, your body arching ever so slightly as Lilia massaged the inside of your hole skillfully with his fingers. All at once and far too soon for your liking, Lilia removed his fingers, your slick completely covering them. "Now, you try. Move them like this-" The red eyed fae gave a demonstration to the horned male, malleus nodding before following instruction.
Malleus was much more clumsy when it came to such acts, you could feel it in the way his fingers stiffly entered you with very little fluid movement.
"curl your fingers gently and move upward. Feel how she tightens around your fingers when you do it correctly?" you had to admit, hearing Lilia talk about you in such a blunt manner about the ways in which your body reacted was enough to make your entire face red. Yet, the wetness down below was far more prominent with every word he spoke. Once he was able to add another two fingers, Malleus pulled out leaving you empty once more. He admired his fingers that were covered in your substance, before staring you directly in the eyes and using his tongue to lap up your wetness from his fingers. You weren't sure you could possibly become any more flustered than you already were, yet it seemed possible with every new action both of the men took. Deciding you had been stretched out enough, Lilia had given Malleus the okay to the next step.
The tall male stood up and unbuckled his belt, allowing his pants to fall to the ground and removing his boxers allowing his cocks to be seen by your mesmerized eyes. You watched in anticipation as he shuffled back in front of you on his knees, your eyes never leaving the sheer length and girth that he had been hiding all this time.
"remember what I said earlier," Lilia said, using his hand to pull your legs apart further, "Humans are incredibly delicate. If you are not careful when breeding, you could harm your mate. Enter her slowly..." Lilias fingers snaked back down to your folds and once again used his skilled hand to pull them apart, Malleus pumping the top of the two cocks a couple times before aligning it with your entrance. Lilias fingers remained spreading you apart as he talked Malleus through every inch, yet the second the head of his cock penetrated you, you couldn't help but suck in air and almost pull back.
"t-too.. too big..!" You whined, Lilia hushing you gently and planting a kiss upon your cheek. Malleus leaned forward and groaned, his cock throbbing in desire to bury deep inside you. As you were taking inches of Malleus, you couldn't help but notice something hard poke at your bare back, like cloth that was rubbing against your skin. Lilia was hard. You hadn't the chance to speak up about it before the older fae ignored his obvious 'issue' and continued to coach Malleus through the motions.
"Let her adjust," Lilia said to the black-haired male, "(y/n), Tell him when you're ready to take more. And if it is too much to bear, speak your mind." Lilias's words were kind and gentle, his lips pressing against the lobe of your ear before biting down. After a few moments of adjusting to Malleus's size, you gave him the okay as Lilia guided him deeper inside of you.
"So tight and wet," Malleus let out a deep primal growl from the back of his throat as he was able to finally fully engulf himself in your warmth, "So warm...ah.." groaning while leaning forward and biting the crook of your neck, Malleus found himself trying to push deeper and deeper inside of you. Tears pricked the side of your eyes at the number of stimuli you were receiving, Lilia took notice and moved your head to face him kissing the tears away from your cheeks. "There...Good girl. You're taking him so well, aren't you?" He purred, trailing kisses from your cheeks to your jawline, and from your jawline moving his teeth to graze against the other side of your neck. Once fully adjusted, Malleus began to go at a steady pace with moans of pleasure escaping his lips.
It wasn't long before he was fucking you relentlessly out of pure primal instinct, the room full of wet sounds of skin slapping against each other and moaning. Sweet moans that left your lips with one man penetrating you and the other sneaky hands roaming your body. Lilia used one hand to grope your breast and play with your hardened nipples while the other moved down to your clit and rubbed circles around it leading you closer and closer to your release. You could feel the bubbling pit of your stomach as your walls clenched around Malleus's cock and your back arched, a loud desperate moan slipping from your lips and your body trembling with ecstasy. At the same time, you felt Malleus twitch inside of you, with ropes of cum painting your swollen insides white. Your body went limp against Lillia's chest, panting roughly as the Draconic fae removed himself from the warmth of your cunt. Lilia used his thumb to pull open your swollen hole, watching as Malleus's thick seed pooled out of your twitching entrance. As Lilia sang your praises, Malleus leaned forward and kissed your forehead gently, you taking notice that he was still as hard as he had started.
"Seeing how well both of you did," Lilia smiled, "shall we try using the second one, next?"
You surely weren't going to be pulled away yet, not until Briar Valley had another heir on the way <3
#Oh brother I did this all in one sitting#ANYTHING FOR U NESSY#lowkey rushed the ending ngl but I still hope it's satisfactory#I HOPE YOU LIKE IT#Twst smut#twst x reader#twisted wonderland smut#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland x reader smut#Lilia vanrouge#lilia vanrouge smut#Lilia x reader#Lilia x reader smut#Malleus draconia#Malleus draconia smut#Malleus x reader#Malleus x reader smut#Malleus draconia x reader smut#Twst x reader smut#fem reader#Afab reader
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if you'll allow me to flaunt my psych minor for a second, I'd like to talk about epigenetics. there's studies that show that if you shock a rat when you let them taste a certain flavor, they will immediately become averse to that flavor. not surprising. what is surprising is that the rat's grandchildren, who have never been shocked when given that flavor, will also be averse to it and afraid of it and avoid it. there's also correlational evidence to suggest that the descendants of people who suffered through famine are more likely to put on weight and keep it on easier, even if they have never been through a famine themself.
trauma gets passed down. the kinds of trauma your parents, grandparents, and so-on lived through is still living in you. even if your parents were the most well-off, loving, best parents in the world, their trauma is still in you.
now if you'll allow me to take a slight turn here: there's a wild rabbit inside every jew.
my dad grew up being called "jew-boy." my mother had a coworker throw pennies at her at her job in the 2010s. and that's just two examples. they both grew up being harassed for being jewish. I wasn't. I'm incredibly lucky. the amount of antisemitism I've experienced in real life has been incredibly minimal. I didn't even hear anyone make an antisemitic joke in front of me until college.
and none of us were seriously persecuted. none of my grandparents were seriously persecuted. but even though nobody's broken my windows, nobody's beaten me in the streets, and I haven't been at any of those horrible protests in person, the fear is there. this deep seated, blood-pumping fear of the ancient jewish rabbit in me telling me to run. to run for dear life, to run as far as my legs can get me, as long as my heart keeps pumping and my lungs keep breathing.
we all feel this.
everyone feels this.
I called my mother yesterday. when I brought up this feeling she paused, and the silence said everything. she told me I wasn't alone. she feels it. my dad feels it. my brother feels it. my nana and grampa feel it. every jew you know, online, in real life, hell, even the famous ones, they feel it. the rabbit is inside us all, and the rabbit knows, because its brothers who didn't flee in the past were slaughtered.
the rabbit is leaping around my chest, all of our chests, chanting run run run run run run run.
I don't know if I can explain it to gentiles. I don't know if this makes sense to you. I don't know how to get across how crystal clear and deep and primal this fear is, and how much all of us are feeling the exact same fear, despite our different lives and different histories and the fact we're different people.
part of me wishes it didn't matter. that I didn't feel like I needed to get goyim to understand my specific cultural and ethnic experiences. because I don't feel like I need to deeply understand everyone else's. I am a white passing ashkenazi american jew, and I will never fully understand what it is like to be anything else. that doesn't dissolve my responsibility to educate myself and practice empathy, but it's ok. idk, maybe other people do desperately wish they could get people not in their specific group to deeply understand what it's like to be them. I imagine that feeling is universal. I guess, it's just like, the left is unified that everyone is a person, everyone is equal, everyone is human, except the jews. nobody is left out but the jews. everyone's word is believed, but the jews. and it makes me feel like I have to beg and plead with people to understand what being jewish means, because we're not included with everyone else. we're the enemy. and I want people to see we're not the enemy.
epigenetics.
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Missing You Always
based on the steal a moment phone call!!
☆--- paring: sylus x reader
☆--- summary: Your marriage to Sylus has been a challenging one because of your long distant status. Sylus is determined to remind you that distance can't diminish what you share. He reassures not only your mind but also your body, reminding you why you're meant for each other.
☆--- word count: 4.5k
☆--- warnings: mdni, slight angst, there's comfort don't worry, soft!dom sylus, you take a bath together, oral sex, fingering, doggy, back shots, bit of background story, sylus is an eater ok..., (he eats your cum), size kink if you squint, no protection is used (wrap it before you tap it)
☆--- a/n: i had to get this one out quick because rafayel is quickly taking over my brain ngl.
Just a couple of months before, you married Sylus. He has certainly lived up to (and well beyond) your expectations. While he is the perfect loving husband, your current situation is less than favorable. You knew what you agreed to in this marriage, and you knew the first few years would be difficult, but it did not stop you from feeling a pang in your chest when you arrived home, and your lovely husband was not there because, well, he is still in the N109 Zone.
You walked into the front door of your shared home with Sylus, but then again, was it? He is never here during the week. You had both discussed it plenty in the early stages of your relationship, but that did not make the adjustment any easier now that you had moved back to Linkon. Being a hunter was difficult for you, mind, body, and spirit.
Despite your feelings, you fought to hold on until the weekend. You knew Sylus was coming home to you soon. After work tomorrow, you would go home, and your lover would be waiting for you. That thought made you smile.
You strolled into your home through the grand entryway, maneuvering through it to find the living area. Walking through the arch, you looked above your head to see the chandelier suspended above the coffee table. Turning your head, you observed the ceiling-to-floor windows, admiring the sunset.
Your imagination took over, the thought of walking in tomorrow, noticing the lit fireplace, candles throughout the room, and the signature scent of vanilla being carried throughout the room. You’d know without a doubt that he was home. Your gaze would be drawn to the kitchen where Sylus would be standing. Maybe he got a gift for you, he usually does, something that reminded him of you during your signature five days apart.
“I miss him,” you said aloud reluctantly. A sigh escaped your lips, and your hands covered your eyes, leaving you feeling the somber silence around you.
A few beats of silence were interrupted by Sylus’s signature ringtone. Pulling you from your mind, you shifted quickly, searching for your phone. Making your way to your work bag, you pull the phone out of the front pocket before swiping “accept” on Sylus’s phone call.
Sylus: "You have no idea how much I’ve missed this—just hearing your voice, sweetie. It’s been way too long. Feels like forever since I’ve had you all to myself." You: "I know, baby. I’ve missed you too. Every night, I go to bed wishing you were here." Sylus: "Soon, though. Tomorrow, it’s all about us. You and me, finally. I’ve been counting down the days." You: "Me too. I remember the last time we were together…our little movie night… I loved it so much." Sylus: "Yeah? Well, tomorrow, I plan to make it even better. We’ve got catching up, and I’m not just talking about our dinner date, sweetie. I’ve been thinking about you non-stop. I miss touching you, holding you… just being with you." You: "I can’t wait. I’ve been thinking about it all week. Just the thought of being with you makes everything feel right." Sylus: "Good. Because tomorrow, the second I walk through that door, I’m not letting you go. No distractions, no interruptions, just you and me. How’s that sound?" You: "Sounds perfect. I’ve been dying to just… be with you again. Really be with you." Sylus: "Good. ‘Cause I plan to remind you how much I’ve missed you in every way."
☆---
"Hey, Sy! Are you almost here yet?" Your voice carried a hint of strain as you focused on dinner preparations. You had cubed some steak, and the hot grease sizzled and popped back at you while you basted the meat with a rich butter-garlic mixture, ensuring each piece absorbed the flavorful glaze.
“Yes, Kitten. I should be there in a few minutes, but check the door; there's a gift for you outside.”
“Oh! Okay, I didn't know. I’ll go look.” You disconnected the call with Sylus and went to the front door of your house. You saw an absurdly large box waiting for you as you opened the door. You maneuvered the box inside, wanting to open it. You grabbed your knife, tearing through the tape on the top. Once opened, you saw the little white note inside waiting for you.
“For our date.” The simple cursive of the letter made you raise an eyebrow till you bent down and opened the box. You found face masks, bath bombs, moisturizers, oils, candles, and anything you could have desired.
“Ah, so he planned a self-care night. How cute!” Then you heard the door creak open, causing you to turn around. You dropped the items swiftly back in the box, overwhelmed with emotion.
“I’m home, my love,” he said sweetly. A large smile instantly plastered your face at the sight of him, and you ran into his arms. You could admit that while you were growing used to your hyper-independence, you missed him. His scent, his touch, his presence. How your days to weeks apart made your heart grow fonder was amazing.
You ran to him, jumping in his arms. He caught you quickly as you gave him a tight hug. “I missed you,” you whispered into his ear, pressing soft kisses to his ear lobe. He shuddered at the feeling of your kiss, his eyes falling closed. You pulled your head back to look into his eyes. The heat of your soft kisses ran through him as he opened his eyes to meet yours. He placed his forehead flush against yours, a smile appearing on his face. His hands tightened his hold on you.
“Oh, sweetie, you don’t want to know how much I wished I could come to you this past week,” Sylus said, his eyes dropping to your lips. Holding you with just one arm, his right hand caressed your face. Your face flushed a bit. The look in his eyes said even more than his words. His thumb brushed your bottom lip, “I missed this,” he said, kissing you languidly, almost like you were frozen in time. “And this,” his hand moved, tilting your chin upwards and to the side, pressing a taught kiss to your jaw. “This,” he tilted his head and kissed your neck slowly, starting where your jaw meets your neck, down to where your collarbone begins, before his teeth found your skin, nibbling on it gently.
A rough breath came from your lips. The feeling of his lips and teeth on you always felt amazing. “Sylusss, let’s finish dinner. I smell it burning,” you said, smelling the cube steak slowly turning into burnt steak.
He kissed you once more and nibbled on the skin by your collarbone. “Okay, we wouldn’t want dinner to burn now, would we?” he laughed, placing you on your feet. You turned around and made your way to the kitchen, still feeling flustered by how he kissed you moments ago.
Sylus followed closely behind, his presence warm and comforting. You carefully plated the meal—tender, butter-basted (slightly burnt) steak cubes, roasted vegetables, and creamy mashed potatoes. The rich aroma filled the kitchen, the perfect mix of savory and satisfying.
"Smells amazing, sweetie," Sylus murmured as he leaned against the counter, watching you with that familiar, teasing grin.
You handed him his plate, the warmth of the food almost matching the heat between you two. Together, you carried the plates to the couch, where the night would begin. The soft lighting in your house casts a cozy glow, setting the perfect mood for the evening ahead.
"Dinner and a show?" he teased, settling beside you, his eyes lingering on yours.
You laughed softly. "Something like that. Let’s just say… we won’t leave this couch for a while."
Sylus raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "I like the sound of that."
You both dug into the meal, the flavors rich and comforting, but the real excitement lingered between each bite, the anticipation building for the rest of the date.
The movie you chose to accompany your dinner was a sad romantic comedy. It may not have been the best choice because now you are trying to keep tears from falling from your eyes. You wanted to enjoy your time with Sylus, not cry over nothing.
But you couldn’t help yourself. The movie discusses a couple struggling to navigate their careers. They got pulled in different directions and did not end up together… It was eerie; it was too reminiscent of your current insecurities.
You turned your head, looking at Sylus, who was already turned towards you. His brows furrowed in concern. “What’s going on in that pretty little mind of yours, hmm?” he said, bringing his hand to rest on your cheek as he slowly stroked your face.
His tenderness and compassion for you were mind-blowing. His never-ending patience was world-shattering. A tear fell from your eye, wetting his hand. “Is this going to work? I don’t want to end up like them, Sylus.” You finally met his fierce eyes, forcing yourself to hold contact as you shared your insecurity with him.
“Listen, this isn’t forever. It's hard now, but it is temporary. I will make sure of that, " he said, his voice strained at the sight of your tears. He pulled you forward to hug him, and his embrace instantly comforted you. “I promise,” he whispered into your ear, placing the softest kiss on your earlobe.
You pulled back ever so slightly to look him in the eyes. “I trust you, Sylus,” you said, sniffling and wiping your face. He smiled at you slightly, and your admission meant much more to him than you’d ever know.
“Let’s continue our date. I found those face masks you’ve been texting me,” he offered. “I saw! Where’d you even find those,” you exclaimed and lightly hit his chest. You both laughed together, feeling a bit lighter now.
You shifted to your shared bathroom, which had quite an industrial feel. The walls were covered with deep blue tiles, and the floor was a patterned blue tile, which beautifully complemented the gold and brown accents throughout the room. Walking on your bare feet, the tiles felt cold under your feet, chilling your whole body and giving you goosebumps.
Sylus followed behind you closely. The brown box rested in his large hands as he placed it on the wide granite counter. He unpacked the box, pulling out the candles, face masks, oils/lotions, and bath items.
You walked behind him, grabbing the candles and placing them around the large bathroom. The scent of a sweet candle promptly filled the air, spreading through the room. You turned off the warm lights, allowing the candles to be your light source.
Further setting your space for the date, you turned on some smooth jazz—something you and Sylus would appreciate. Playing instruments was not an easy feat, as you would know after your multiple failed attempts at playing the piano.
Walking back into the bathroom connected to your primary suite, you saw that Sylus had begun to draw bath water for you two. His hand was wading in and out of the water, monitoring the temperature. You just watched as he worked. He had fresh roses in a plastic bag on the floor next to him. He picked them up, removing the petals. The red roses filled the white bathtub, some resting atop the beautiful bubble bath he made for you two.
“Do you need help getting ready for the bath?” He said suddenly, turning his head to look at you, a slight grin on your face.
“I could use some help,” you said playfully, a pout forming on your cocked head.
Sylus stopped the bath water and was now ready for you two to share. He made his way over to you and stood tall before you. You lifted your arms, and he moved to lift your t-shirt above your head, tossing it somewhere in the bedroom, leaving you in a lacy black bra. You watched his eyes shift downward to your chest before looking you in the eyes. He laughed a bit, knowing you caught him looking.
“Your turn, Sy,” you said.
“Whatever you say, Sweetie,” he replied playfully. He lifted his arms above his head, knowing damn well he was too tall for you to pull the shirt above his head. So, instead, he moved to his knees, making it easier for you. You reached down, pulling his casual shirt over his head, leaving him shirtless, on his knees for you. Your eyes widened a bit at the sight. You’d never get over this.
“Now, these must go,” Sylus said. He was hooking his large fingers into the waistband of your black leggings and panties. He pulled them down slowly, leaving you in just a bra before him. “Always so beautiful for me,” he said, desire filled his eyes.
He reluctantly stood to his feet, standing at full height as he moved to unclasp your bra. “May I?” He whispered tenderly against the shell of your ear.
“Of course, baby,” you said softly. You heard the click of the bra behind you, your breasts falling as they left the support of the bra.
Sylus stepped back, looking over your nude body.
You flushed at his gaze, lifting your arms to cover your body. “The bath is getting cold,” you said, suddenly feeling shy in front of your husband.
“Let’s get in, sweetie,” Sylus said with a grin, swiftly slipping off his sweatpants and briefs. He lowered himself into the bath, the water rippling as he settled in, leaving space for you to join him.
You stepped into the hot bath, the warmth enveloping your legs as the water sloshed with your added weight. Steadying your hands on the tub's edge, you guided yourself in, sinking fully until your back rested against Sylus’s broad chest. The hot water worked wonders on your tense muscles, soothing the stress from both your bodies.
The demands of your careers, the physical toll of your work as a hunter, and the mental strain of being apart all faded away at this moment. This was exactly what you both needed: to be close and together.
Closing your eyes, you leaned your head to the side, resting it on Sylus’s strong bicep. You lost yourself in the feeling of him, ignoring the soft glow of candles and the distant music. None of it mattered as much as the sensation of his body against yours. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest, the hard lines of his abs, the strength in his thighs. Your fingers traced the vein from his bicep to his forearm, grounding you in the moment.
The warmth of his skin against yours was everything—comforting, intimate. You were both aware of his cock pressed against your ass, but for now, you both ignored it, savoring the quiet closeness. In this shared silence, nothing else mattered.
The warmth of the bath pulled you into a sense of calm, but the steady rise and fall of Sylus’s chest beneath you stirred something more. You could not ignore how his hands started to drift, one moving slowly up your arm, the other settling on your waist, his finger tracing gentle circles on your skin. A quiet hum of satisfaction escaped your lips as you shifted slightly, pressing your back more firmly against him.
“You feel incredible, sweetie,” Sylus murmured into your ear, his deep voice sending a shiver through you despite the warmth of the water.
The light touch of his lips grazed your shoulder, and you felt a surge of heat build inside you. His lips lingered, pressing soft, teasing kisses along your neck, his breath hot against your skin.
You tilted your head back to give him better access, your heart quickening as his touch became firmer, more deliberate. The tension between you that had been quietly building suddenly felt undeniable. His hand slid down to your thigh, squeezing gently, and you felt a low moan escape your lips.
"Sylus..." you whispered, your voice breathless, your body instinctively pressing against him. His cock, which you both had been ignoring, now became impossible to dismiss.
He growled softly, lips still brushing your neck. "I’ve missed this," Sylus whispered, his lips brushing your ear, voice deep and full of desire. "But I think it's time we take this somewhere... a little more open."
Without waiting for an answer, he shifted beneath you, his strong arms lifting you out of the water as easily as if you weighed nothing. Water dripped from your skin, splashing back into the tub as he stood, holding you effortlessly in his arms.
"Sylus!" you gasped, gripping his shoulders as he carried you with that familiar, confident grin. He didn’t speak and just gave you a knowing look, his eyes dark with intent.
He walked you over to the bathroom counter, the cool surface contrasting the heat radiating from your body. Gently but firmly, Sylus sat you down, your wet skin making contact with the smooth countertop, the chill making you gasp.
Before you could fully adjust to your new position, he dropped to his knees in front of you, his hands tugging you forward, positioning you exactly how he wanted. His gaze locked onto yours as he parted your plush thighs, his breath hot against your skin.
"I told you, sweetie," he growled, eyes filled with desire. "Your wish is my command."
Your eyes widened at the sight of him on his knees before you. You were breathless, waiting for his next move.
Sylus’s fingers slotted between your folds, moving to spread them open for him. Your pussy was already so wet, and his fingers were soaked in your slick just from opening you up. He pressed a firm kiss against your pretty little clit. His kiss was slow, testing your reaction. Your hips bucked from his kiss. He could tell you’ve grown needy for him.
“It seems I'm not taking good care of my wife.” His intense gaze reached yours. His mouth opened, allowing his hot tongue to make contact with your sensitive clit.
A moan fell from your lips. You were quickly feeling overwhelmed. The cold counter, your wet skin, his tongue, his eye contact. You couldn’t help but close your eyes. There was too much going on.
His tongue expertly flicked your clit, and he was messily making out with your cunt. He decided he would spell his name on it. He loved reminding you who you belonged to after your time apart. He moved his index finger, choosing to work your hole while pleasing your clit. His finger stroked your entrance back and forth, dipping inside a bit more each time he made a pass. You moved your hands to grip under your legs, bracing yourself. Your head bent back, resting against the large mirror in the bathroom.
He shifted his expert tongue, closing his lips around your clit. Nibbling on your clit lightly, dragging your attention back to him. It’s almost like he was punishing you for looking away from him.
“Eyes on me, Kitten,” Sylus said, his words sending vibrations straight into your clit, as he pushed his larger finger into you. Beginning to stroke your insides, he found that little sensitive button inside you, pressing it firmly, causing you to squirm beneath him, growing heat in your belly. You could feel the heat going to your face at the sight before you.
Sylus wanted—needed all of you, but more than anything, he needed your attention. He has to know that you share his desire.
“Yes,” you said breathlessly. You fought to keep your eye on him, even as your pleasure began to build up inside you. The heat of his mouth, his fingers pumping into you expertly, just felt so good.
During the days you spent apart, you counted the hours away. The feeling of his tongue on yours, his body against yours, nothing could compare to what you share with Sylus. The spots are the only ones he knows and can only dare to explore. He blew your mind every time.
You shifted one of your hands to grip his white hair. It slotted between your fingers so easily when you tugged it like that. A groan released from his mouth, vibrating your cunt.
“I– oh fuck,” you said suddenly as your hips began to spasm hard against his beautiful face. Your hips lifted at the intensity of the pleasure running through you.
“I know. Come for me, darling,” He purred into you. He kept his mouth on you as you rode out your high. You rode his face, spreading your juices all over him.
Sylus smirked at you. His face was covered in your arousal as you slowly released your grip on his hair. A lazy smile appeared on your face as he stood to kiss you, his hand reaching out, cupping your face sweetly. He kissed you slowly, saving this moment with you. The way he pressed against you sent warmth through your veins.
Reluctantly parting his lips from yours, he lifted you off your ass onto your feet.
“Turn around for me, Kitten,” he commanded you sweetly. And you complied, turning around and facing the large mirror before you in the bathroom. You bent over on the counter, the cold granite causing your nipples to harden against it. You rested on your forearms, making eye contact with Sylus in the mirror. He licked his lips, collecting your remaining arousal on his tongue.
And he held that with you, not daring to look away. He took his cock in his hands, his girth heavy in his hands, and he guided himself to your cunt. Gauging your reaction, he rubbed his cock against your slit, and you squirmed a bit, still sensitive from your earlier orgasm.
He pushed into you slowly, agonizingly slow. Your eyes were a bit teary as you bit your lip, watching him tease you. You could feel the burn of him stretching you out. It’d been so long since he fucked you. “don’t tease,” you whined, your lips pouting slightly. You turned back, looking at him directly. “I need you,” you said, your body burning with need.
He kissed you roughly, tilting your head a bit to allow him better access to your lips. At the same time, he sheathed himself fully inside you. A desperate moan fell from your lips, and you tilted your head forward, watching him in the mirror. He took on a slow, deep pace at first, dragging his hips back before pounding back into you.
His hands found your lower back, gripping your flesh, bracing himself as he pounded into you. The intensity of his thrusts caused your body to create friction against the counter. Your breast, your stomach, his hands on your backside. It just felt so good.
He thrust into you repeatedly, and you heard the slap of his heavy erection pounding into you. The slap of his balls hit your clit repeatedly as he kept his rhythm. Breaking his eye contact with you, Sylus's eyes trained on where he was pounding into you. Every time he pulled out, your cunt dragged him back in. Begging for him not to pull away. You kept gripping down on him.
He watched as your juices mixed, the white film appearing around the base of his cock. A sly smile appeared on his lips, sending the desire coursing through his veins. He closed his eyes, focusing on how you felt around him. Your gummy walls sucked him in, asking for him to stay. You kept gripping his cock so well you couldn’t possibly understand what you were doing to him. He could feel every little time you twitched, gripped him, sucked down on him. And the sounds coming from your pretty little mouth were egging him on. Begging him to come in your pretty pussy, and he couldn’t resist much longer.
You felt yourself involuntarily grip down on Sylus again, and you turned your head to look at him directly, his pretty face, the flush on his cheeks. He was driving you crazy, too. He kept hitting that sensitive spot inside you, his heavy balls slapping your clit over and over. You couldn’t help but grip down on him again. You watched his eyebrows furrow as he slightly opened his eyes to look at yours. His eyes squinted as pleasure began to take over his body.
“You feel so good,” he gritted out, his flushed face apparent as you looked at him more closely. The sight is so erotic, a moan released from your lips. You could feel your wetness all over him. Your cunt was dripping at the sight before you.
He began to keel over you. Resting a bit on your back as his thrusts became more sloppy. He laid on top of you completely, “You’ll take my come, won’t you, baby?” he whispered in your ear.
“Y–yes,” you moaned out. His eyes closed as he rutted into you over and over as his ropes of come filled you.
Your hands gripped the counter, steadying yourself until his thrusts slowed up a bit. He was losing his pace and becoming sloppy as he finished riding his high.
His breathing was uneven as he rested his weight on your backside. “You’re always so good for me, Kitten,” he said breathlessly.
He pulled out slowly, trying to keep his seed in you before he got on his knees, and your eyebrows hit your hairline in shock.
“Can’t let this escape now, can we?” Sylus said, slight amusement in his voice as he used his fingers to push his release back inside you before he stood up and licked his two fingers clean. He was looking into your eyes using the mirror.
“Sylus!” you exclaimed at the sight. He’d never done that before. It's a true sight to behold.
“We taste so good together, sweetie,” he remarked casually, causing heat to go to your face as you watched him leave the room.
He returned with a soft towel, wetting the cloth in the sink, furthest from you, so as not to re-wet your now dry skin.
He came back over and wiped your excess shared fluids from your cunt, leaving you slightly damp from the wetness of the towel.
At that, you rolled over, sitting on the counter, before tenderly kissing Sylus on his taut lips. “Thank you,” you whispered to him. He’s always so attentive, you thought. He pressed himself flush against you before wrapping your legs around his waist.
“Let’s lay down now,” he said, picking you up.
You giggled at that. “Yes, let’s,” you said with a large smile. You missed this.
☆---
I feel like Sylus and Raf are the most fun to write for. Their stories always have so much banter idk. THIS IS NOT ZAYNE SHADE, that's my man fr.
#sylus#lnds sylus#lads sylus#lad sylus#l&ds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus love and deepspace#sylus x reader#sylus x mc#sylus x you#sylus qin#love and deepspace#i need him#desire that#x reader#sylus smut#lads smut#lnds smut#l&ds smut#sylus x y/n#sylus x reader smut#sylus headcanons#I CANT EXPLAIN THE WAY I CRIED IMAGINING HIM DOING THIS TO ME.....#buckiverse~writes
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