#it wasn’t his [redacted] it was just his heart he was touched to have a sticker placed there okay gurl clap

[chinchillion]

[mosaickiwi]

Your Actual First Kiss

@taeee0902 first kiss with redacted fdsjklfsdjalk

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

~Your Actual First Kiss~

Hiding their nerves behind his normal cool demeanor, [REDACTED] let you push them down on the couch and lay atop his chest. You’d been getting bolder in the past few weeks of dating and he was ecstatic about it. Still, he always played a passive role as you got comfortable, intent on having you set the pace for every encounter.

You fiddled with the collar of his shirt for a while, then shyly asked, “So… when can I kiss you?”

��Whenever y’want,” came their instant reply. He’d been patient for the moment you were ready, but felt just as delighted that you asked them.

“Right now?”

[REDACTED] blinked for a second, blood warming his cheeks as he muttered, “‘Course, Angel. It’d actually… be my first.”

“Really?” you asked innocently, smiling and leaning down over him.

They knew you were only teasing. He’d never even think of giving their first anything to anyone other than you. The man could feel the redness crawling further up to his ears as you leaned closer.

You suddenly pulled away and frowned to yourself. “I’m a little disappointed it’s not my first, though.”

His blue eyes widened a fraction, though the information wasn’t a surprise to them. Well aware of your past relationships—and all the ups and downs they entailed—he immediately knew which one you were thinking about. “It’s not?” they gently pried, testing the waters of how much you wanted to open up. 

“Yeah, it was a long time ago. The relationship was kind of… messy?” Your brow wrinkled and your tone turned a touch softer as you dwelt on it. “I wish it never happened, honestly.”

He couldn’t voice his own thoughts just yet. Their heart sank at the idea that they couldn’t go back and fix it—to make sure you’d never have such an ill gotten memory that made you upset, no matter how small. It’d be easier to give you a better experience now.

“Then it didn’t happen,” [REDACTED] decided aloud.

You raised your eyebrow and crossed your arms over his chest. “But it did?”

“If y’don’t like it, ‘didn’t happen,” he repeated. He absently brushed a hand through your hair, lingering at the nape of your neck. “Y’can try again with me, yeah?”

“Oh…” The frown on your face quickly melted away, replaced with the shy, devious smile you wore when you pushed him down earlier. “Yeah.”

Lips parted, breath caught in his throat, your ever-patient hacker waited as you leaned down once more to bring your lips close to theirs. He could hardly form a thought the moment they felt your breath, then your warm skin. 

It was everything he imagined it’d be. From how they felt your heart beating in an uneven rhythm with his, down to the way you tasted was just what he dreamed of each night. One kiss from his angel was worth the seemingly endless years of waiting.

As you pulled away—no doubt stealing what little breath remained in them—he followed after, the desperation he normally kept at bay rising to the surface as he held you close with their hand on your cheek. 

“H-how…” [REDACTED] laughed, caught off guard by the butterflies in his stomach that made them trip over their words. “How’s that? Better?”

You bit your lip and he noticed the sparkle in your eyes as you had to fight off your own butterflies. “Perfect, Ren,” you whispered.

[brokenpieces-72]

Dark Reader Anyone? Haven't seen any of that anywhere. Like it's always dark 141 this or that but never DARK READER.

I disappear to the abyss now

Oh we going into the darkness now… excellent. To be honest didn’t know how this would go. Now it’s sort of an alternate timeline to the current hybrid story line. For some context you’re the mother in this one.

TW: Dark reader, Manipulation, obsessive parent, kind of yandere, mentions of a foster system, mentions of child neglect, let me know if I’ve missed any.

A young girl with antlers and rabbit ears, it’s hard to over look that description. You’d finally get your daughter back but she was working for mercenaries. All you had to do was enlist. You had your own methods of persuasion, it was a matter of using them. Each proved a challenge, but once you showed an interest in Hunter beyond making the other hybrids jealous it was easy enough.

Rodolfo is human, and while his mutts were protective of their vessel it was easy enough J to garner favour with them. Working with him got you closer to Alejandro too, but of course you couldn’t let them know that. Rodolfo was the only one you were focused on around him. If he brought up Alejandro on his own then you would talk about him, learning more about weaknesses. Rodolfo is a caring person, you understand that.

Alejandro, such a good kitty. He taught you to fight and you didn’t back down from him. A gentleman, maybe but you had him in your clutches with a smile. The only thing that could kill Alejandro was Alejandro, but you don’t need him to die. You just needed him to know your troubles. With a few comments and subtle hints you got him to build sympathy for you, brushing off initial inquiries. Then an invitation for a private conversation, concerned words, and his worry for your little one is matched to yours, but of course you love your baby more.

Johnny was a sweet puppy and showed himself to be friendly enough. He was so easy to play with, oh if you could keep him all to yourself you would. And when he shifted to full size, trying to impress you, it was adorable. He was on an easy leash in no time.

Kyle was stuck in his shell only poking his head out to help everyone else. Some eggs needed to be cracked. A visit with him and confessing you were a mother who lost your baby girl to hunters all because she was different was so easy. He offered to look out for anyone by your daughter’s description, wanting to help you. Such a pretty bird he was, willing to watch over you, and retrieve your baby bunny for you.

Simon, what could you say about Simon. He was a hard, cold man. There was a darkness surrounding him constantly. A hurt, one that you would try to remedy but a soft touch made him pull away almost immediately. He took the longest to gain trust from. Showing an understanding of boundaries was perfect, as he slowly opened them to you. Learning more about his past you show sympathy, despite you knowing he was an absolute monster. No way in hell would you want him near your precious child. Clearly he was in control now, but you needed to be careful. One wrong move in front of him meant losing everything you were working on.

Price was the key though, one that took pleasure in the pleasure of his men. If his men felt safe and happy, he was content. Joining his hoard wasn’t easy. Now you may as well be the shining jewel, proving yourself to be invaluable. You understood medical, were a great shot, and pushed yourself. Your relationship with each of them was strong, but something did bother him. Your past was redacted in some areas, so he called you to his office one day. Seeing the file your heart skipped a beat, fearing what he may have found.

“You have a daughter?” He asked. You nodded.

“I’m sorry sir.” You said.

“She was taken from you.” He continued. “Hunters found her and she was removed from your home. They assumed neglect. What is your side?”

You looked up at him finding concerned eyes. Eyes that wanted to help you. The face of a man who was empathetic.

…perfect.

“I had to raise her as a single parent. Sometimes life was difficult because she couldn’t always go out with her friends. I should have noticed it sooner but she became very sick, and when I was out one night she wandered outside. With her antlers and ears and her clothes being torn and dirty…” you cleared your throat, biting back your tears. “Couldn’t give her a good life so they took her away from me.”

You didn’t make eye contact with the captain, feeling ashamed. You know you did your best, you tried so hard to make her happy, but everyone kept trying to take her from you. She worked hard for you too, hunting and finding food for herself. It wasn’t good enough though. Price was still quiet, while you played with your hands.

“We’ve found her.” He said. You looked up at him, his face showing he cared. There was a hint of a smile, pleased to see your hopeful gaze. Behind it, there was a catch. Something that would make it difficult to see your sweet girl again. “Your daughter was put in a program intended to help rehabilitate hybrids, much like a foster care program. They’re assigned a mentor of sorts to keep them safe, teach them about their abnormalities, help them with basic education, etc. and your daughter was recently assigned to a position.”

“How do you mean?” You asked, voice shaking. They were helping you, they would get your daughter back.

“Hybrids can be assigned to companies and work positions where their abilities can be beneficial. Sergeant Garrick had been looking into some of the organizations and learned about your daughter’s placement. Which brings me to another question.” The captain said. You tensed a little, knowing what he would ask about.

“Your daughter is labelled in her file as a jackalope hybrid but with a shifter form. A Wendigo.” Price went on. Your expression told him everything you wanted. That you had no idea, no one had told you, information about your baby girl had been kept limited.

“No no… she’s…” you trailed off. The captain sighed, letting out some wisps of smoke. You were a poor mother who had her child ripped from her with little explanation. Now you’ve learned your daughter this whole time had been a monstrous man eater. It’s hard not to laugh at how easily Price was falling for it.

“I can imagine it’s rather difficult to hear this.” Price said. “She was placed in KorTac, a group of mercenaries. They have other hybrids there, and her mentor is still present ensuring her diet is kept regulated so the Wendigo does not endanger anyone.”

“Why would they put her there?!” You blurted. A moment of weakness in your facade hearing your precious daughter had been placed in such a dangerous environment. Price’s tail flicked once, a little startled by your outburst. To be expected though he figured. You cleared your throat, apologizing for your behaviour.

“We believe it’s related to her Wendigo side. She’s okay there, and missions are kept simple for her at the moment along with proper training.” Price continued. You nodded, trying to show some understanding. There was a paise before you asked the very question any caring mother would ask.

“Would it be possible to see her?” You asked.

“No.” Price said, empathetic. You nod as if you could understand why.

“We intend to get her back for you.” Price said. When you looked back up, you see a smug look on the captain face. You give him a hopeful smile, trying to hide your desire to laugh at him. He was so willing to go head first into danger with the rest of the team. Price stood up and circled around his desk looking down at you, arms crossed.

“I’m not about to let one of my best be denied her rights. That little girl deserves her mama.” Price said. You stood ready to go as soon as he gave the order. For now you’re given his gentle hands on your shoulders, and a gaze from the most pleased dragon, with a hint of glass.

“It will take some time, but we will get her back, kicking and screaming if we have to.” Price assured you. You’re dismissed and you returned to your room, tears running down your face. The other men offer some smiles to you, and you return them until you get to your room and shut the door.

Finally, you’d have your baby back… and you had a task force of monsters in the palm of your hands ready to kill anyone standing in your way.

Taglist: @yourlovely-moon @kaoyamamegami @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @sans-chara @1mommyrose4ever29 @smitten-haematite-quartz @talia-the-gemini @yuki2129 @whitetiger846 @graystorm444 @chibiduck @reaperxxxxzz @danielle143 @sobbingnshtting @cringeycookies @cryingpages @dcnocap207 @reaper-chan666 @bestbookfriends

[no-saints-around-here]

i just read your little blurbs with panties and kokonoi, and who do you think it would be 👁👁 do you think he would ever let redacted join them either in or after a livestream 👁👁

Recommended Readings: Panty Sniffing HCs; Koko Panties Ask

Masterlist

‎‎‎

tw: nsfw, afab reader, forced exhibitionism, oral, panty soiling, panty sniffing, dead dove do not eat

Intentionally left that as a mystery so that yall can daydream a little about whoever your favourite Bonten exec is! buuuttt if you ask me-

In my head, that little sneaker would be Kakucho hands down.

Well known around the syndicate that Koko doesn't trust any of the other executives as far as he can throw them, especially not with your safety. He knows they know what the two of you get up to in the confines of the lush, opulent bedroom, what with his obsession with you; the white-haired man can't shut up about how adorable you looked in just your panties and thigh highs with a scrunched up nose and a touch of tears at the corner of your eyes. Not to say the sheer number of times the circle of Bonten managers had to hear again and again during actual official meetings about the long string of 0s that your used underwear fetches in auctions online, and how yummy he thought your round butt looked when he finally got to fuck you after the camera was off (the absolute simp) until Mikey finally tells him to shut the fuck up. Maybe Mikey would be the sole exception given he simply has no interest in anything or anyone else, but his mental stability around someone as soft and delicate as you would be what Koko calls into question. So in conclusion, it would be a cold day in hell before he lets you venture out of your luxurious shared room when any of them are out and about and allow them to even lay their eyes on you.

But as a working executive himself and the extremely busy treasurer of an organization as large and sophisticated as Bonten, there are definitely extended periods where work gets in the way of you and him, but your needs that require you to venture out remain despite Koko trying his best to have as many facilities built ensuite for you. You still had your weekly private doctor appointments to attend and clothes fittings to go to (absolutely no one was allowed in your room if you were in and he was not). Because how could he not buy you the best money can afford? You were his whole life, his only reason to keep living and trudging foward. So the one reluctant exception to his rule would be Kakucho; stoic, distant and an all-round good-hearted guy deep down. An unlucky soul much like himself that unfortunately somehow found his way into the underworld life, Koko felt that Bonten’s third in command would be the one that he could trust to look after you when he wasn’t free to and more importantly, keep his hands off of you no matter how delectable and snackable you looked much unlike those disgusting Haitani twins, even if both Ran and Rindo vehemently deny all and every allegation.

And stoic Kakucho was from the first day he came to pick you up from your room for a usual appointment for a high fashion fitting - you had let a surprised exclamation slip out when you opened your door to him. Barely speaking to you except when he absolutely needed to to give you instructions, keeping a respectable distance away from you and declining to touch you in any way or form, escorting you straight to the secured location and then back to your room (where Koko was already hiding and eagerly awaiting your return), making sure you locked the door behind him. A quick rub and sniff of your panties found it to be completely unwet, and the black-haired man passed the unspoken test run. Kakucho was a perfect fit for the occasional job, living up to his loyal name, and Koko was sure to reward the man handsomely for the trouble, not blinking an eye even when the money came from his own pocket for anything that Kakucho might desire.

Yet unknown to Bonten’s finance guru, even if Kakucho have said less than a handful of words to you, you were still happy to chatter away with a new face, something you hadn’t had the privilege to do for god only knows how long. Koko despises it when your attention wavers from him for even a second without a very good reason, and the last thing you wanted was to get anyone into trouble; but your clingy partner never seem to find out when you talk to Kakucho in the privacy of the armoured vehicle you two ride. And so you talk, starting with the mundane stuff like what you read in the few magazines and books you were allowed when Koko was too busy to whine for your affection, to what you were looking forward to eating and trying, venturing to even mentioning about the few times you’ve seen others walk by your room through the peephole, which you were explicitly forbidden from doing. Interestingly enough, you never once had anything bad to say about Koko or the panty auctions that you certainly weren’t a willing participant in.

And despite everything that you had been put through, the gleam in your doe eyes never faded, and you enjoyed the rare minutes that you were allowed to peer out of the car window at the city around you whizzing by, fascinated at even the simplest things - a convenient store that you fondly remember, a playground, a school. You would become the sole light of Kakucho’s life, the last remnants of innocence that Kakucho grasps on to as if a lifeline in the turbulent, harsh sea that was Bonten. Upbeat, positive and truly naive, Kakucho finally understood what was it that Koko saw in you: an escape from what reality was. An escape to what could have been. Definitely started looking forward to hearing about you during those meetings, almost disappointed when Koko was forced to stop so that they could continue discussing more dreary topics. And then the smell of you on your used panties when he finally caved and begged the website from Mikey in return for a favour. There wasn’t words that could describe what your juices smelt like; sweet, heavenly, divine, all words that paled to what he could take in. And then the disgusting, depraved thoughts that ran through his head of what he would do to you when Kakucho wrapped the thin cloth around his dick, the dark seed of utter desire and envy planted as a few pumps is all it took for him to cum, though the Bonten executive was quick to pull your underwear away to avoid getting it dirty. He paid too many zeros for this to be a one-time use.

One way or another, anything and everything that goes on within the syndicate finds its way back to Koko, and no surprise that it does. He did fill the bags and control the purse strings after all, and no one under Mikey dared deny this white-haired man the information he wanted. No doubt he learns about Kakucho’s self-funded purchase of your used panties not once but multiple times, complete with alias and covering his tracks best as he can, and Koko’s first reaction would be betrayal. This was the man he trusted to take care of you when he wasn’t looking? What else was he telling you, doing to you when there were no eyes? And an agitated Koko is not someone you liked to deal with, instantly turning on you with jealousy and possessiveness burning behind his eyes, tight slap to your face leaving you reeling before strong hands closed over your throat as he pinned you to the bed, questioning you again and again about Kakucho even as you thrashed in a bid to breathe. Were you lying to him too? Were you trying to escape from him with Kakucho?

His next feeling would be smugness and greed. Of course Kakucho would fall for you like he did; you were his little perfect angel. Would Koko ever let Kakucho fuck you? Absolutely fucking not, even once this boy has rung every last bit of information from you and is finally satisfied of your loyalty to him. You were his and only his, and no matter how secure Koko felt about you, he wasn't going to share.

‎

But would he let Kakucho have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to taste you on a livestream? Yes. Big yes. The former Black Dragon is a master at playing the game and understanding what makes someone tick, and leveraging you against someone as infatuated with you as Kakucho as a fellow executive and having that to hold over his head for bascially nothing was a no-brainer. The black-haired man wouldn’t realize that Koko already knew about his secretive buying habits when he is invited over to Koko’s room, thinking it’ll just be another escort job. It would be gut-wrenching for Kakucho to walk in and see you already trussed up, on all fours with your limbs in spreader bars and eyes blindfolded, your skin very clearly covered in whip marks and raised welts; and that was precisely when it set in that Koko knew. But despite this guilt at you having taken the punishment for something he did, Koko’s offer instantly had the other second guessing himself.

One favour, and he could touch and smell and taste you as long as he wanted, even keep your panties afterwards - with the conditions that there would be no penetration with fingers or dicks, that Koko would be present and watching from the corner of the room, and that it was all on livestream. Your thighs already trembling at the effort to keep you up as Kakucho approached, eagerly crawling towards you even as you hoarsely repeated his name, telling him that you didn’t want this. He knew this was wrong, he knew he shouldn’t, but your tantalisingly wet pussy glistening with your juice was too big a temptation. One press of his face in between your legs and there was nothing more Kakucho could think about in the moment, sucking and licking and tongue-fucking you, his big hands wrapped around your thighs and keeping you up as your lovely voice moaned his name and your body shook at the exertion as you came again and again and again.

And the livestream instantly explodes into outrage, much to Koko’s delight exactly as he had predicted. Who was this stranger who had the sheer privilege of being there with you, tasting your milk as you cum around his tongue? Was this some sort of hidden tier they had yet to unlock with their bid amounts? How much did he pay for this opportunity? But all answers went unanswered, and the bidders could only put forth their best guess. Of course Koko would never disclose that something like this was priceless, given all the doors that could be unlocked with a single favour from Kakucho, and the many future opportunities for business given Kakucho would never stop craving you - but he allowed the masses to stew and bemoan and hypothesise, the already outrageous numbers that your panties garner on the auction growing to even more ludicrous numbers as your wealthy fans try their best.

I’m kinda curious who your redacted-kuns are and how you think Koko would react hehehehe

[curator-on-ao3]

Hi! How's you? Lord's Grace, I'm fine.

Just wanted to ask, what are the standout moments from both the seasons about, for, in, about Pike and Una? Ones that you remember or half-remember but they feel like they're the defining moments about them, or reveal something about them or just moments where they're together and we simply enjoy them, moments you'd love to write more fics about.

:') Lord Bless! Have a lovely more lovely even more lovely day

I’m glad you’re doing well. ❤️ Thank you for asking — this was fun to consider!

I understand the boundaries of your question, but I’m gonna color outside the lines a little bit to say that it starts for me in The Cage when Pike is so considerate of Number One’s feelings that he apologizes for the reasonable choice not to put her on the landing party. Then, on Talos IV, they work together so cleanly, handling the same equipment and picking up on each other’s ideas and plans. Yes, the episode kicks off the ship in the obvious way of revealing that Number One fantasizes about Pike. Yet the episode also makes clear why — a closeness and camaraderie that’s evident from the start. (And at the end. Colt asking who would have been Eve and Number One shutting Colt down, then Boyce pressing the question and Pike shutting Boyce down. Meanwhile there’s me ignoring the Lilith story to shout: “Her name is literally ‘Number One,’ y’all. Who else would be Eve?”)

Then we get to Discovery and she appears before him in a shimmer of transporter beam and the camaraderie, the understanding, the care for each other — it’s all still there. He teases her about her food and drink order. She teases him right back. She knows his orders before he gives them. He trusts her completely. It’s so lovely and comfortable and real-feeling.

There’s more in the Short Treks (Number One freaking out when Spock notes her “most careful study of the captain,” etc.), but let’s get to the heart of your question.

Strange New Worlds took the care, the camaraderie, the understanding, and deepened all that even more, made it so Chris has never served on a non-redacted ship without her, made it so they’ve known each other most of their lives, made it so we see them talk about life and duty and journeys whether in his quarters or the ready room, it doesn’t matter because the comfort they have with each other transcends location. Both times she even mentions resigning, he says absolutely not. Twice, he holds her service record in his hands and rushes off to do what he can to save her from a dangerous situation. And, as we all know, Mr. “He Views Resorting to Force as an Admission of Failure” (per Number One in Q&A) gets violent when Starfleet arrests her and is about take her away from him.

So, in terms of truly answering your question (finally), I love how, in the premiere, the second Chris walks in to rescue Una from Kiley 279 that she starts teasing him, he instantly teases back, and she knew damn well that he would come and rescue her even though he wasn’t technically on duty. I also love little things like how when he’s helping her get around despite her injured leg that there’s no self-consciousness in touching (even in underboob territory) because they’ve served together in close proximity for ages so why would they be self-conscious?

Which takes us to Children of the Comet and more talking and domesticity (yes, I can fully believe that dishwashers are a lost technology since that means I can watch them do dishes together) and sharing hard truths in his quarters. There are layers at the dinner party, stories and him teasing her in front of other people for everyone to be able to laugh together … and her deep care for his feelings when he’s not laughing at all.

Clearly, I could keep going for season one:

Ghosts of Illyria when he subtly checks in on her feelings at the beginning, then she’s so worried about him on the surface, and finally his stalwart support for her in the ready room.

Memento Mori when he asks how she’s doing — and the way he asks in the midst of a crisis with softness in his voice.

Serene Squall with the casual intimacy of her helping him put on his gear, then their history together and understanding via the Alpha Braga IV reminisce.

Quality of Mercy when she chases after him even though he put her in charge of the meeting, then his reaction to her being missing in the future, him trying to figure out what happened to her, him standing by the command chair when he finally sees her again, and, of course, as mentioned before, his reaction to her being taken away.

And I could keep going for season two:

Ad Astra Per Aspera, like, all of it but especially when he speaks of the loss it would be to him if she left, the fact that he’s an adult who suffered from asthma as a child yet he risks asphyxiation to help her, the picture of them both that she keeps in her quarters, everything about The Hug™️, and so much more.

Charades with the There Was Only One Couch scene and, earlier, the “🎶 first contact get down, get down, first contact get down” look on the bridge.

Those Old Scientists having them both like the communicator better than a commbadge — and getting how Pike and Una visually check in which each other so much than even their cartoons do it.

Subspace Rhapsody letting them kiss (I always say I will send a bouquet of flowers to the editor who put that in the show).

Under the Cloak of War showing him listening to her and trusting her where her talents exceed his.

I’m leaving things out that I’ll remember as soon as I hit post.

There are vibes and glances. There is body language. (🎶 There were moments of gold/ And there were flashes of light/ There were things I'd never do again/ But then they'd always seemed right.) There’s a certain groundedness that lets me believe these two truly know each other.

And, for all of that, I am grateful.

Fun fact: This is my first post in which I hit the image limit and couldn’t add more. Even after I combined some. Whoo-hoo! Also, I apologize for not sourcing the gifs. I had them saved and Tumblr gif search is a nightmare.

Edit: I remembered one of the many things I’m sure I’m leaving out: their conversation in The Broken Circle. The mutual concern, the lived-in feeling of their talk, the vibe that this was far from their first conversation since everything went down. I loved it all.

[agentredops]

Bell Snippet - Sleep

[REDACTED] "Bell" [REDACTED] has a nightmare. Someone is there to help them.

TW for: needles and mention of blood

“Bell, we have a job to do.” I was tied up to a chair in some strange lab. I looked around, blinded by the lights above and around me. I couldn’t move anything but my head and when I looked up, I saw him. The strange man with the glasses that covered his eyes, the hair that seemed so perfect, too perfect, and the scar across his left side of his face.

“Bell, do you remember Vietnam?” My head started to pulse in pain, trying to remember what this man wanted. I started to slowly put the pieces together. I was part of a team, we were supposed to find something there. I couldn’t remember what.

“Y-Yes…” My heart started to beat faster.

“That’s good, Bell. Now, do you remember my name?” Name… Name?

“Uhh… uh...” I just kept mumbling. I didn’t know. What about my name? Who am I? My heart started to beat faster.

“Park, get the syringe, now!” My hands were pushing against the restraints, trying to get out. It just hurts, so fucking much. I soon felt something in my arm and my whole body started to feel numb. I giggled and giggled, nothing in my head.

“...We need to stop for the day, they can’t take anymore,” someone said. I just continued to giggle and giggle, feeling my heart go up again. I was here forever, nothing could save me. Not a damn thing…

—

My eyes opened slowly, feeling crusty. It was dark, faint light around the room from above. I wasn’t in the lab. I wiped my eyes and my hand touched my head briefly, getting a bit wet. I checked my whole body, seeing that I woke up in a sweat. I removed my blanket and got up. I soon found a clock. 3am. God damn it. I found the light switch and turned it on. The room was bare bones, just my bed, closet, table, and a mirror. I looked at the mirror, seeing my sweaty state, shirt clinging to my body. I took it off and saw the scars.

—

“We can remove them if you want. You are in a better state than you were a month ago.”

“I… I would like that.”

—

I touched them gently, scared that I would cut them open, seeing the blood seep out. Nothing happened. It’s all over… Nothing bad won’t happen. He won’t hurt you again. I soon heard a knock at the door and I rushed to my closet and grabbed the gun. I aimed it towards the door, ready to fire. The door opened slowly and I saw a gloved hand.

“Who are you?”

“Naga.” I aimed down my weapon as I saw him appear. He wasn’t in his usual uniform, just some dirty pants and shirt.

“What are you doing up?” 

“Nightmare,” I said, putting my gun back.

“Adler?” I nodded. I sat back on the bed, rubbing my head, feeling my hair. It felt weird, having it back, after not having it for a bit. I didn’t remember if it was Adler or my past self’s fault, but every time I think about it, I can only think of Adler. Finding Stitch and Naga was nothing short of a miracle. The fact they were alive and the fact that Stitch was in Moscow, it was like some higher power was watching me that day. Like I had a mission to finish.

I felt Naga sit next to me, putting his arm around me, his rough glove on my shoulder. It felt good, it made me feel that this was real, not a nightmare or a dream. Just real.

“I’m sorry my ynker (friend). I should have just kept the light off,” I said.

“No, no, don’t feel sorry. You should never feel sorry, your enemies will use that against you.”

“I know Naga… I know.” It went silent for a bit. I laid my head on Naga’s shoulder, tired. I wished this all didn’t happen but I can’t change the past anymore.

“Come on, let’s not cry over the past. Let's go make some tea,” Naga said. We both got up and we left the room, allowing me to leave my nightmares in the dark for now.

[light-wayland]

There ain't no way you make me give you a ranked list of Circle members and get away with not making your own. C'mon, tell me! Who're your most and least favourite of the circle gang?

naive of you to assume i wasn’t going to send you one anyway. i think i like all circle members, only the top 3 are definitive, everything after depends on the mood so i won't even number

Robert Lightwood. he's only my all time favorite character and i think about him every minute of my existence since i've read The Evil We Love all those years ago. nothing special

Michael Wayland. this adorable little man crawled into the grossest deeps of robert's grumpy cold heart and said "There's nothing wrong with you, Robert." and got his heart broken horribly. in the process turned waywood into my all time favorite ship and changed my life. thanks man

Maryse Lightwood. gaslight gatekeep girlboss? except that she was the gaslighted one i think... anyway, she put up with robert for 24 freaking years, and post-michael robert was so annoying. mother. but also literally badass mom. i wish we understood her better.

Luke Garroway. it's giving father figure and can be shipped with several people. at the same time he's an asshole who doesn’t aknowledge his own assholery and that gives him depth because it's more realistic than let's say robert who thinks everything he does is a unexcusable mistake

Valentine Morgenstern. [redacted] but what he and luke have going is kinda hot not gonna lie

Stephen Herondale. my lightwood loving bias would usually stop me from touching a golden annoying mf even with a ten foot pole but this one can and will be poked with a sharp ten foot pole because like maryse he is somehow nasty enough to put up with robert's grumpy face and he's also a huge loser

Jocelyn Fairchild. luke's female half but with not page time enough to be cool. i think a problem is that her character on page doesn’t live up to what's built around her, even less than luke, and that makes her underwhelming, but i'm her apologist when it comes to her decisions as a mother, i will choose her over her biological son anytime

Hodge Starkweather. deserves better. he was stuck in the same house with robert and maryse for 15 years. that's punishment enough if we're being real

Céline Montclaire. i understand why some readers love her. she's kind but has a selfish side, which makes her human. on practice she's too nice to me, and not nasty enough to put up with robert

Amatis Graymark. i genuinely like her and stephen as a couple i just don't care much about her individually, which is a shame because her story is interesting. i guess she has a similar problem as jocelyn

i think all circle members are interesting characters so in my head they're awesome. i hope this list satisfies you

[callmemana]

Arms Wide Open, Catch Me If I Fall:

Chapter 4: Birdie’s Eye View

Word Count: 5k+

🚨Warnings: inaccurate Naval descriptions, angst and floof.

A/N: dividers by @sligheach-sidhe , cover by me ( @callmemana ). Thank you @bayisdying for proofreading!

A/N: There will be a change, each chapter will be at least 3k word count. Also, this will be my main focus on writing.

After the big blow up with Bo, Bird walked to the Garcia’s with Ozzy following close behind.

Tears stained her cheeks as she made her way to her bedroom and cuddled with her dog.

She would go in tomorrow and talk with Cyclone about redacting the offer to join the team, if it wasn’t too late.

If Robert didn’t want her here, then she’s not gonna stick around to take anymore of his awful behavior.

He’s acting like he did the last week he was in Lemoore right before he broke her heart.

Bird was a forgiving person, but she didn’t know if she could forgive him for this.

She got up and started to pack everything but the essentials back up into the boxes, she’d ask for tape and help loading her truck tomorrow.

Ozzy kept trying to nip at her legs, telling her to stop.

But Bird’s mind was already set, as soon as she could she’d talk to the Air Boss and ask to be stationed back in Lemoore.

She was just finishing up her last box when Baylie and Mickey came home.

“Why are you packed? What happened between you and Bob?”questioned Lucky.

“He was an asshole and pretty much told me he didn’t want me here. I’m going to talk to Cyclone tomorrow about being transferred back to Flordia. I’m not staying somewhere where the only person I really know doesn’t want me to be.”

“Maybe he was just surprised to see you is all,” offered Mickey.

Bird laughed humorlessly, “Trust me Mickey, what he said wasn’t because of that. I mean, seriously! How stupid am I to come here thinking that he’d be happy to see me? He was right, I ruin everything.”

Tears prickled at her eyes as she fixes her glasses.

“Birdie, what do you mean?” insisted Lucky, teeth slightly grinding together.

“Hey, you haven’t ruined anything.” reassured Mickey.

“He said that the whole week before he left, said I ruined his life and everything I touch. I can’t do that to you guys too.”

“Bird, you haven’t ruined anything for us, if anything you’ve made our lives better.”

“How? I’ve done nothing but cause trouble since I got here!” she cried, taking her glasses off to clean them of tears.

Baylie pulls her into a hug and Mickey joins soon afterwards.

“Because you have made our grey outlook on Bob turn to color. We only knew him as the shy man he is, and now, we might be able to see an outgoing, sarcastic, and whatever else he’s hidden from us, man.”

“You just don’t know him well enough yet. He was shy when we first met at bootcamp.”

“Oh, we need to know all of the stories about the young Robert Floyd.” declared Lucky.

Ozzy ran over and decided to also join the group hug, giving everyone sloppy puppy-kisses all over their faces.

“Oz, Ozzy, ok, ok, thank you bubs!” laughed Birdie as she lightly pushed him away, fixing her glasses on her nose.

She sniffled and wiped her eyes, standing up in the process to head to her room.

“I best be gettin’ to bed, I gotta be up early to see Cyclone anyhow. Thank you both for everything.”

The couple gave smiles and bids her goodnight.

The next morning Bird does her morning routine, walks Ozzy, and drives to base earlier than necessary.

She’s trying to navigate her way to the Air Boss’s office when she accidentally bumps into someone.

“Oh I’m so sorry! Here lemme help you,” blurted Bird as she immediately gets to the ground and starts to pick up the scattered papers and folders.

The woman was olived skinned and dark brown curly haired.

“It’s not a problem, I can pick them up myself, I wasn’t watching where I was going anyway.” the woman laughed, holding her hand out towards Amanda.

“I’m Alana Metcalf, most people here call me Cinco or Cin. Are you new? I saw that you were looking a little lost.”

She took the woman’s outstretched hand and shook.

“I’m Amanda Hallett, callsign Birdie, but I also go by Bird. I’m not gonna lie, I am incredibly lost.” Bird laughed, cheeks burning a bright pink.

“Well maybe I can help, who are you looking for?”

“The Air Boss, Beau Simpson. I need to talk with him about transferring back to my old base.”

“Oh, did something happen? Not enjoying San Diego?” she asked.

“You could say that. I just don’t think it’s a good fit for me.”

“Ah, I see. An ex is here huh?”

Birdie’s eyes widen and jaw slacked, “How did you know that?”

“I’m kinda friends with Bob and the dagger squad. Actually, my boyfriend is on the team too.”

“Oh…” said Bird before she put on a fake smile, “what’s his name?”

Cinco could see through the smile, but decided to table that for later when she could speak to Bob.

“Jake Seresin, but his callsign is Hangman.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“He is sometimes,” nodded Cin, “It’s because he always hangs his wingmen out to dry.”

“And he’s on a team? He sounds like he’s an ass. No offense!”

Cin laughs, “None taken, I know he can be one. He’s shown it many of times.”

The two women stopped infront of a wooden door with a name plate that read, ‘Simpson.’

“Anyway, here’s Cyclone’s office. I hope that you reconsider going back, I can tell that you will be a big part of our lives already.”

“And how can you tell, you just met me Cin.” Bird questioned jokingly.

“Because that man’s eyes still sparkle when you come up in conversation. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bob like this and I can’t wait to see how it ends.”

“So, you know?” she asked, eyes casted down.

“No, but I don’t think I need to know more than that he loves you.”

“He might’ve before, but he doesn’t now. Thanks for being my guide, I appreciate it.”

Bird gave the woman a little wave as she knocked on the thick door, waiting for the ‘Come in.’

Once the command was given, she entered and saluted the Air Boss.

“You are relieved, Leutenant,” he declared, looking up briefly to see who was there.

“Hello Vice Admiral Simpson, I was wondering if it was too late to ask if the contract could be void and I could be stationed back in Lemoore?”

“Not liking the company Hallett? I believe at one point in your first time here, you were very close to Leutenant Floyd.”

“Yes sir, we were, but recently ended our relationship.”

“How sad. Unfortunately, Hallett, it’s already been cleared and recorded. You’re stuck here until farther notice.”

“But Sir-”

“I didn’t ask for excuses, Leutenant. Just be glad it’s only for six months. Now if your done,” He shifted his eyes to the door.

That was not the news Bird thought she would be getting, Cyclone never liked her anyway.

So why does he have to be so determined to keep her here?

Unless he thinks this will be torture for her being near Robert, which it most likely will be.

She exited the room, leaving his door open just to piss him off more.

Bird went down the hallway a little and braced her back on the wall, groaning loud.

“Well who do we have here?” a woman with a British accent asked.

“I’m sorry if I interrupted you ma’am, I’m Leutenant Hallett.”

“No harm done here, I was just having breakfast at my desk with my friend. I’m Rachael Kazansky.”

Bird looked at her phone screen, checking the time. The meeting with Cyclone went on longer than she initially thought.

“I am so sorry but, I have to get to the hanger. It was nice meeting you though!”

Dragon smiled as the blonde woman scurried off.

She arrived late, the high ranks already in the room and stood off to the side.

“Nice of you to finally join us Leutenant Hallett,” announced Cyclone.

“I’m so sorry, Cyclone! Someone told me to go to Hell, I couldn’t find it at first, but guess what? I finally found it! And I just knew I’d see you here too!”

“Everyone, this is Leutentant Amanda ‘Birdie’ Hallett, graduated second at Top Gun in her class.” stated Maverick, a wide smirk on his features.

Robert muttered a displeased, “Birdie.”

Laughter poorly covered up could be heard around the hanger, mostly by the students. When Bird looked over at Warlock, he winked at her with an amused smirk on his face too.

“Back on the agenda, Maverick.”

“We will be doing an exercise to start training for an upcoming mission. The hard deck is at ten thousand feet and will not be broken this time. We’ll take Hangman, Rooster, Coyote, and Birdie first. Get suited up.”

With that, we all filed out of the door and headed to the locker room.

“You must have a big pair of balls on you if you can sass Cyclone without hesitation.” said a tall, blond haired man with sea green eyes.

“Cyclone’s had it out for me since my first time at Top Gun. Bob and I got yelled at all the time by him.” Birdie said as she rolled her eyes.

“Wrong, you and Thena got yelled at and Smiley and me tried to get you out of it.” smiled Bob.

“Yeah right, like I don’t remember the reason you got your callsign. You are just as much of a troublemaker Bo.”

She didn’t see the smirks and looks exchanged by the others.

“Since y’all know my name, I think it’s only fair I know your’s.” stated Bird.

A dark skinned man with a mustache spoke first, “I’m Reuben Fitch, Payback and Fanboy’s pilot.”

The next was another dark skinned man, a little lighter in shade, “Javy Machado, Coyote.”

“I’m pretty well known everywhere I go. Jake Seresin, callsign; Hangman.”

“Wow, maybe you should take the dick outta your personality. Your ego isn’t as big as you think.”

“So what I’m hearing is that you think-”

“Finish that sentence, and I’ll sack you so hard that your grandkids will feel your pain.”

“Damn, she doesn't play.” said a man with a 70’s porn-stache.

“Damn straight, and you are?”

“Bradley Bradshaw, Rooster.” he held out his hand, which she gladly took.

“It’s nice to meet you Rooster.”

They all came to the doors that separated the locker rooms.

The women went into the one on the left, the guys on the right.

Bird was halfway out of her civilian clothes when a small, shy woman came up to her.

“Hi, I’m Raven Mouse Fischer. I haven’t been on the team very long, but if you need any help with anything, I’d be more than glad to help!” chirped Mouse with a wide smile.

“Thank you Mouse, I might have to take you up on that offer,”

“I’m Bob’s pilot, Natasha Phoenix Trace. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Natasha. Thank you for keeping him safe when I couldn’t, I appreciate it more than you know.”

Phoenix was a little surprised when Bird brought her into a tight hug.

After the little meet and greet in the locker room, everyone was outside in the hanger getting ready to get in the jets.

Bird had her sky blue helmet on with the bird silhouette on the front with her callsign under and her squadron on the sides.

She wanted to have someone pat the top to ‘see if it works’ but didn’t want to ask anyone yet.

Bird saw Bo and looked away, there was no way she’d ask the man who had made a new crack in her heart not too long ago to do the preflight ritual with her.

“What’s wrong Bird?” asked Rooster as he stood by her plane.

“Nothin’, just missing old traditions we used to do before flying.”

“What did you do before?” he smiled, looking down at her.

“Used to smack the top of our helmets so we could ‘see if it was good’ and now I don’t have anyone to do that with.”

Without second thought, Rooster slapped his hand against the top of her helmet and whispered, “Good luck Bird. You don’t have to be scared to ask us to continue the traditions you did back in Lemoore, if they make you feel comfortable or a superstition you have we will help make you calm.”

Bird’s cheeks burned slightly, “Thank you Roos, I appreciate that.”

Bradley lightly pounds his fist on the top of her helmet again, “Anytime Bird. We’re all family now.”

She nods, looking away from him briefly before the other two men join them.

“Ready to fly Bird and Chicken?” asked Hangman, a smirk on his face.

“Yeah, Bagman, let’s get in the sky.”

It took a while but soon all were in the air with the oxygen masks on and communication was silent.

Bird was flanked by the men, all looking around for Maverick and seeing nothing.

“So what’s your story Birdie?”

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t wanna, Bird.”

“It’s fine. Grew up in the midwest, went to bootcamp and then after I graduated I went to Top Gun.”

“What about when you met Baby On Board?”

Rooster’s voice cracked through the radios, “Leave her alone, Bagman.

“Woah man, we’re just trying to get to know our fellow aviator Rooster.”

Bird rolled her eyes at the men, typical.

“I’ll leave that to Robert when the time comes and HE wants to tell you.”

“Ooooh, she’s super mad if she’s using your name and not your callsign huh Baby On Board?”

“Why do you always have to be a dickhead, Bagman?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘always,’ I did save your life Chicken.”

“He did,” echoed Coyote.

Rooster was quiet after that and started to go a little farther ahead of them.

They flew for a little longer in silence before Coyote voiced everyone’s concern, “Where’s Mav?”

All four of us looked around, not seeing anything. “Oh fuck, he’s under our noses.”

After that was said, Maverick came up from out of nowhere. “Good Afternoon Aviators.”

Bird was the first to move out of the way, Rooster following her and Hangman and Coyote breaking off to the left.

The fight was on.

It took twenty six minutes for Maverick to shoot all of us down.

If we were supposed to be the best of the best, how come it took so little time for him to beat us in a dog fight?

Bird got out of her jet, took off her helmet and then gripped it in her fist angrily. She knew she could be better than she performed today, otherwise she wouldn’t be back at Top Gun.

“Don’t let this bring you down, we all got our asses handed to us and I bet you everyone will today too.” Rooster shook her shoulders lightly and a smile on his face.

Hangman and Coyote came over to her plane again and praised her flying as they all made their way to the rec room where everyone else is.

Once inside the room and out of the blazing sun, she saw that Bob was still sitting right infront of the radio with eyebrows furrowed and bitting him lip.

What was he so worried about, he had no right to be for me. He lost it the day he broke my heart.

It was later in the day when everyone had failed and walking back to the locker rooms that everyone was talking and laughing together again.

“So Bird, would you like to go to the Hard Deck later?” asked Mickey, a smile on his face.

“No thank you, Mickey. I should unpack, I’m going to be here for a while.”

“Oh that’s great to hear, how long?” chirped Mouse.

“I’m here for six months, then wherever they send me afterwards.”

Lucky glares at Bob, angry at that he almost made her go away.

“We can help if you need?”

Bird smiled, “Thanks for the offer, but it won’t take too long.”

“Well if you end up needing help, don’t be afraid to call any of us.”

“She wouldn’t need you Bagman, Birdie has Mickey and me to help. Also stay away from my house or I’ll kick your ass.”

Jake put his arms up in mock surrender, eyes wide and a smirk on his lips.

The three of them went back inside the Hard Deck and grabbed the others and went out back to talk on the deck.

Once all of the aviators had sat down, Bob took a deep breath.

“I think I might owe y’all an explanation on why I’ve been acting so short tempered lately.”

“I’d say.”

“Shut up, let him speak!”

“Yeah, I wanna hear why.”

“Well, before we left for the mission, I was engaged,” he took his dogtags out of his shirt and showed the ring.

A dainty little gold ring that looked as if it was sticks with small diamonds decorating it was on the chain.

“To an aviator named Birdie. I broke off the engagement and then moved to San Diego a week later.”

Bob ran his hands in his already messed up hair, “So when Lucky was giving hints as to who the new member was, she was just reminding me of her. I didn’t want to think about Bird, so instead I got angry and shut everyone out. I’m sorry.”

“Why? Why break up with her, she’s a pilot too. She’d understand.”

Bob laughed sadly, “Because I’m in idiot. I don’t really want to get into it tonight.”

“Hate to break it to you Baby On Board, but I already kinda knew. Seriously, I mean, did you forget that I have access to personal and personnel records?” sassed Cinco.

“I’m so glad that you found your forever Bob and I can’t wait to meet her! What’s she like? Chirped Mouse.

Baylie took point in answering this, “She’s amazing, beautiful, fantastic, lovely, smart, funny, sweet…”

“Okay, we get it Bay, if we weren’t married you’d marry bird and make her one of your sister wives.”

“Damn right I would, too bad I’m stuck with your ugly ass.”

“Ouch.”

“Can we please get back to the matter at hand?”

Bay shrugged while Mickey put his hands up in mock surrender.

“As you were saying Bob?”

“I messed up and broke up with her the harshed way possible so she wouldn’t think about me when I was on the mission. And with her back in my life I can’t help but have those feelings again.”

“So you never got over her?” questioned Phoenix, eyebrows furrowed.

Bob shook his head, “No. She’s my everything. I’ve known her since I was eighteen, we met on the first day of bootcamp. I knew by the end of our first date that I was gonna marry her.”

Dragon and Whiskey just screamed in happiness at the confession, they had never really heard Bob speak so passionately about love before and wanted nothing more than to hear everything he had to say.

Mouse was the first to speak, “That’s really sweet and I’m happy you found someone who makes you feel like that, but…” she took a deep breath, trying to find the right words that wouldn’t offend him, “If that’s true, why did you end things with her?”

Lucky stood behind Mouse, arms crossed and head nodding to the words that the shy woman had said and added. “You really are a dumb motherfucker aren’t you Robert?”

Tom and Ron exchanged glances before nodding in agreement with their pseudo daughters, only to get smacked by their wives in the back of the head.

The other guys had awkwardly chugged their drinks and avoided eye contact with Bob, not wanting to be caught and having to defend the man.

Rooster, that sap, was the one to speak first, “Do you still want to marry her? Just hearing what you have to say about Bird tells me that you aren’t over her yet.”

Bob answered immediately, “Of course I still want to be with her and marry Bird. I have no doubt in my mind that’s always been her in my heart and always will be.”

“Then we’ll do everything we can do to help you get her back. I don’t speak for everyone, just for me, but I want to see you happy and I get the feeling that the only person who can make you happy, is Birdie.”

Bob smiles, a sight the Dagger Squad hadn’t seen for a while, “She does, she really, really does make me happy.”

Hangman slaps a hand over Bob’s shoulders, “I’ll help you Baby On Board.”

One by one they come up and touch Bob’s shoulders or the top of his head, all agreeing with Jake.

He gave a half smile now that he knew his friends were going to help, he felt his chances of getting his Bird back rise.

Not too long after that the crowd became too much for his wandering mind, so he went home.

The next day on base was awkward to say the least. He knew she was in San Diego, but what he didn’t know was when she would show up at Top Gun.

Maverick had already started the lesson with all of the high ups behind him and to the side.

There was a door being abruptly opened and everyone looked back as Vice Admiral Simpson spoke, “Nice of you to finally join us Lieutenant Hallett.”

She walked her way down the middle of the desks in the many rows that the other aviators sat at before she opened her mouth to no doubt sass the man.

“Birdie.” he whispered breathlessly, head casted down.

She sat down and the lesson went on while the others giggled or laughed behind hands or coughs.

Maverick picked four of us to go into the air for the first flight test and after a weird interaction in the hall to the locker rooms, everyone else crossed the tarmac and made their way in the break room.

Bob kept his sights on Bird the whole way, she glanced at him as she walked to her jet. He couldn’t get the thought out of his head. The happy memories that the two shared while back in Lemoore.

He missed the preflight ritual that they did, along with smiley and Athena. Bob gave a half-assed smile, but that didn’t last too long when he saw Bradley pat her on the head while she wore her helmet.

He can still remember the day that she got her helmet and designed it. Bird was so proud of herself, she hadn’t painted in years and was worried that it wouldn’t come out how she wanted.

Another great memory that he had made with her. Bob wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation from the radio, more on watching the sky and his Birdie fly like she belonged there.

When the exercise was over and the four pilots entered the recreation room, Bob’s focus came back into the world.

He was worried for her, he knew how taxing mentally it was to be called the best of the best, only to be shot down so quickly.

He knew that he had no right to be anxious about her. First this wasn’t a real mission, just a practice.

Secondly, she wasn’t his fiancee anymore, he held no claim to her. Especially after the way he acted the last week in Flordia.

Mickey patted his back as both got up and headed to the tarmac, pilots following their WSO’s, today was just going to be hard for him it seems.

After everyone had gone twice and shot down, both times, the day was over and everyone went to the locker room to change into civvies.

“So Bird, would you like to go to the Hard Deck later?” asked Mickey with a smile on his face as the group walked down the halls and to the parking lot.

“No thank you Mickey. I should unpack, I’m going to be here for a while.”

“Oh, that’s great to hear, how long?” chirped Mouse.

Bob was happy that she’d be staying, he really wanted to take the time and win her heart and trust back.

He felt Lucky’s anger through the glare she was giving him as they walked. Bob knew he deserved it ten times over.

Robert knew that once they heard the whole story, they’d hate him, Hell he hates himself still.

“We can help if you need?”

Bird smiled, “Thanks for the offer, but it won’t take too long.”

“Well if you end up needing help, don’t be afraid to call any of us.”

“She wouldn’t need you Bagman, Birdie has Mickey and me to help. Also stay away from my house or I’ll kick your ass.”

Jake put his arms up in mock surrender, eyes wide and a smirk on his lips. Bob rolled his eyes, he hates when Hangman’s ego acts up.

They all go their separate ways and plan to meet up a little later at The Hard Deck for drinks.

When Bob got home he immediately collected clean clothes from his bedroom and then got into the shower to wash away the day.

He didn’t feel like wearing his Khakis today at the bar so he opted out for an old Carhartt shirt, jeans, and that trucker hat he loves so much but never really wears anymore.

Bob grabbed his keys to the old Chevy truck and drove to the local Navy bar. After he parked, he didn’t really want to go inside, he knew by the cars that everyone is here again.

With a large sigh, he turned off the truck and went through the doorway of the building.

Immediately Bob spotted his found family and threw himself on the cushioned booth seat, surrounded by the group and handed a cup of water that had already been on the table.

Silence wasn’t something that the Dagger Squad did often, but when it was, it's because they were thinking.

It brought warmth to his heart that they actually wanted to help him, but also worried him for when they realized just what type of man he was.

Even if he only did what he did to not break her heart more if he didn’t make it from the Uranium mission alive.

He knew it was only a matter of time before they either kicked his ass or never talked to him again.

Which he deserves, no doubt in his mind about that.

Lucky being the biggest threat if the story got out, she already saw Birdie as a little sister and is protective of her.

He’s seen Baylie’s rage and never wants to be on the receiving end of it, but that might just be what happens.

Dragon was the first to speak after the silence had stopped, “So, what are you thinking about doing to get her back?”

Bob shakes his head chuckling nervously, “Honestly Dragon, I don’t have a Goddamn clue, Amanda won’t even look at me for longer than a second and barely talked to me today.”

“Oh yeah ‘Bo,’ she barely talked to you.”

His head snaps to Lucky, anger in his eyes. “You can’t call me that.”

Bob knows that Baylie won’t back down and he wouldn’t be surprised if she probably already knows the story or at least a little bit of it.

“How bout Bam? Can I call you Bam?” she questions sarcastically, Bird obviously told Mickey and her something about his childhood.

“No and you never call me anything but Robert or Bobby so stop using Birdie to get under my skin.”

“Why when it clearly works so well.” she smirked, the others around him smirking too.

They were all very entertained by this and he didn’t like that just bringing up something about his past could get him so angry.

“Children.” demanded Cinco, done with the fighting.

“Anyway,” said Dragon, getting them back on topic, “we need to start small, so she doesn’t get suspicious of what we’re doing.”

They all nodded, agreeing with her. Now they just have to brain storm ideas until they find the best one for Bob to start gaining Bird’s trust and friendship again.

Some ideas that were thrown out didn’t sound like something that Bob would do, more of a Jake thing.

Big gestures and an exclamation of how sorry he is, Bob is more of the quiet type, small gestures and slowly gaining the relationship back the right way.

It took many hours and many rounds of beer and water (for himself) before the group decided on a plan and paid their tabs before going home.

Bob stopped Mickey as they exited the bar, his friend slowly turned around, a smile on his face.

“How is she doing? Is she settingly in nicely?”

The other wizzo lightly slaps his back,“She’s doing good Bob and I’m not gonna lie to you, because you're my friend, she seems sad. She’s putting on a happy act for us, but we can see it in her eyes. Bird keeps busy around the house when we get home from base. If she can’t find anything to clean, she’s either in her room or walking Ozzy.”

Bob smiles, “Birdie has two brothers so she was the only sibling to actually clean when asked and her room was her get away from her brothers who pestered her a lot. I’m worried about her, Mickey. I hate to see her like this, this girl has been nothing but smiles and rainbows and I don’t think I’ve seen her this way except the last night I was in Lemoore.”

“Hey man, like I said yesterday, we’re gonna help you get her back. This is the first time I’ve seen you smile since the wedding and if she can do that by just being in the same room as you or even just being mentioned, I think what you have is worth the it.”

Bob gave Mickey a little side hug before they went to their cars. Lucky was in the front seat of the Garcia’s Jeep, blasting music and headbanging to the lyrics, making the men laugh.

He took off towards his house, listening to her favorite song and smiling like a total idiot.

Birdie’s Basket🧺: @dragon-kazansky @mrsjaderogers @bayisdying @starlit-epiphany @gracespicybradshaw

🏷️ list: @luckyladycreator2 @interstellarloneliness

[3fling]

Last Lines Tag

Rules: Write the latest line from each of your wips (or post where you last  left off in your art) and tag as many people as there are wips you are working on.

I’m a moron Thanks @iam-jacks-redacted-information for tagging me to do this, it was super fun looking through all my abandoned children WIPs

I. Homies I’m gonna be real with you, if it wasn’t a one-shot then it’s a WIP bc I love to start stuff and then immediately abandon it. So buckle up I suppose we’re gonna go on a batshit wild ride!

The water below bubbled away, unbothered by Kenma’s quiet rage.

She could see massive blasts of cursed energy ripping through buildings, shattering windows and sending shards of glass cascading through the air like snow in a blizzard.

Nick suspected his things were likely carefully hidden away somewhere in Miles’ office; he didn’t bother to verify this suspicion.

That made his heart flutter and weakened his knees — he was definitely going to get some later.

“Is it always like this?” Sakusa asked. //“Every. Damn. Day,” Atsumu replied. (Ik ik I cheated again but this exchange is too funny to leave half out)

“I don’t want to touch that shit, and I don’t want it in my house.”

He should have been there to drive her home.

She took the blunt straight from Molly’s hand and took one long drag before delicately returning it between his outstretched fingers.

Simon was pulled from his grim reverie.

Okay that’s all the standalone WIPs, I also really wanna do by-chapter for my magnum opus that I haven’t touched in like a year 😅

He’d just watch Kenma play a few more rounds, and then check on her.

“I look cute,” Kuroo said firmly, jerking his chin up proudly. // “Let’s go home.” (Ik this is cheating but I can’t post three words)

Kuroo groaned and his shoulders slumped in utter defeat.

“No,” Takae said, resolute, “you’re right.”

“Akaashi couldn’t have been more wrong.”

“Just ask him… Ask him about the night we all went out drinking.”

Bokuto had been in top form that night, unstoppable and unflappable, much as Kuroo tried.

I’m tagging @thatradicalrobot @couldjanot and anyone else who’d like to give this a shot!!

[lapazjournal]

I’m just saying pt. 2

… he say that? It’s this constant I’m not good enough. I’m just upset. I wish my aunt could see this. All the people who love him so much. Who think he’s a great guy. If they knew who he really was to us. I remember one of his cousins was drunk going on about how he admired my Dad because he was so healthy and just like a pillar of manliness and generous, kind, life of the party. And I haven’t even touched on the physical ___, which wasn’t so severe that we had to involve authorities, except for that one time, but definitely enough to strike fear in our hearts. One time my brother ran away. One time he hit me with a belt because I spilled cheerios. I was irresponsible for that. And I cried when he would hit my brother. My mom pleaded with him. I think that’s part of why they split. How could I ever forgive him for that? I still remember those moments like it was yesterday. I remember the printer in the office. I remember him grabbing the belt and threatening us with it. How could he hit someone so little? My little baby brother. I have mad respect for the God girlies who are all forgive for my peace. I’m sure that would bring me greater resolve. I’m not out of the woods yet. My brother moved in with him. Driving over I imagined my dad hitting him now as an almost adult. I saw online that imagining negative scenarios is delusional too.

During our argument I called him stingy. And he said he’s actually very generous. I asked him if Tia [redacted] asked you for $400 would you give it to her? And he said if she asked him for $5000 he would give it to her. Because they’ve built trust. I don’t know what the fuck I did for him not to trust me. He’s always been saying that. After high school he would come pick me up and yell at me on the way home if I wasn’t quick enough and he had to wait in traffic. Was that what I did? When I wanted my first car my mom’s ex-boyfriend gave me his old one, not my Dad. Because I wasn’t responsible enough. I’m fucking responsible. I’m not perfect but I did my homework. I’m a person. I want to live out my life and experiment, not have to be perfect. The responsible thing hits a trigger point because it echoes this sentiment that I will never have enough financially. This period of low flow of energy has really had me exploring my views around money. I sometimes experience fear of not making enough. Not doing enough for myself. I feel so much pressure from both of them. They tell me ‘You are very smart’ (that’s what my Dad tells me). Like I’m supposed to be the one who rises from the ashes and pulls everyone up. I don’t want to live up to potential. I just want to breathe. To tie in with the social media thing I saidat the beginning, I was reflecting on how I use the dopamine of scrolling to rest and distract. I’m pretty sore right now because of the gym. I’ve been resting in this one spot on the couch on socials at night. I was reading a book but I finished it. After my argument with my Dad I went to get gas and I went to the library. I was hoping to check out another book but they’re closed on Sundays so I just dropped my book off. Then I went home. I went on instagram a little in the car before getting out. Then I made food while watching Youtube videos and scrolled among several apps for the rest of the night before starting journaling at around 12. I’ve been thinking about what to do now that I’m not applying to jobs anymore. Reading has been such a good distraction. My book was a memoir about this artist named Ruth Asawa. I told the librarian the other day all I have at home is self help and I just wanted to dive into a book that didn’t feel like work.

[gretagerwigsmuse]

alexa, as always, your comments made me so happy to read (i think i’ve read them like 10 times already)! and writing out replies to all the commentary is always so fun and it’s so helpful because it tells me what worked and shined through, so thank you my friend 🥰 yes totally get you, i love crazy, frantic, hot and heavy welcome home smut as much as the next girl, but i always alwaysssss think god he must be so tired? especially if it was a tough deployment or whatnot? and i was super worried that it would seem like she was bombarding him with everything when he got settled at home, but since the last part wasn’t from either of their pov, we didn’t know what bradley’s headspace was really like? because he was thinking about all the same stuff she was? and that just further shows how connected and right for each other they are to me? so yeah, he always wanted to talk about all this and reflect so they can really enjoy themselves on vacation and over the next few days? 👀 but seriously, thank you for all the comments! more below 💕

He couldn’t wait to see you in twenty seconds after it’d felt like he’d been gone for twenty years. - how dare you with this callback. the sweetest boy is HOME and his people are waiting for him! and he is wanted and needed and LOVED - can i go where you go?

The countless (actually one-hundred and fifty-nine - he’d counted) emails between the two of you had been his saving grace these last three months. You’d emailed him almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day, much to the jealousy of his colleagues. He’d become addicted to them almost. //How did your cooking class go? What was your day like at work? Yes, he would love to go on a trip to Mexico. No, your mom is an absolute idiot. How did you touch yourself at night? Were you being a good girl for him?-- THE RANGEEEE. The way I went from 🥰 to 🥵. The man counted the emails! He reread the ones during his down time when he was missing her the most. HE MEMORIZED THE ONES THAT HAD HIM [redacted] his [redacted] when Payback was out of the room. - listen!!! he contains multitudes!! he can type with one hand! he can memorize payback’s tread down the hall (lies - they make sure to knock three times before opening the door lol)!!

all Bradley had wanted for the last thirteen years was for Maverick to be there when he got home. Last year, when he’d gotten back from three months out near Guam, he’d unabashedly cried from behind his sunglasses when he saw Maverick, Penny, and Amelia waiting for him. Amelia had even made a sign for him with terrible puns and lots of glitter. They’d had Bradley over for dinner - a family dinner - and he had felt on top of the world. Until he’d had to go back to his brand-new, empty house. Bitter with the sweet, he supposed.- SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP MA'AM??!! MA'AMMM WHY HAVE I NEVER BEEN PRIVVY TO THIS MY HEART ARE YOU KIDDING ME NOW I AM CRYING JORDAN I HAVE A WHOLE FIC TO GET THROUGH HOW DARE YOU (this got its own color because WHAT THE FUCK I'VE BEEN SHOT) - i want to have amelia and penny be included more in their story and thought this was really cute? i think amelia absolutely adores bradley and vice versa! like he’s def in the cool older cousin role (even tho she makes fun of him sometimes 😉) and the poster is just an idea i couldn’t let go of! but then he had to go home to his big, empty house!! poor sweet boy!

He smiled at the sight and the thought that he wouldn’t want to leave you while you were pregnant briefly floated through his mind. --OOF OOF DOUBLE OOOOOFFFFFFFF - 🤭🤭🤭 he’s like i am on desk duty if i am not out of the navy. like he will be taking over cyclone’s job, that man is not getting in an f-18 until his retirement flight

Like something out of a movie, you turned your head and locked eyes with him. The two of you couldn't have been more than thirty feet apart and it was like everyone and everything around you had stopped - just for a moment. A blip in time. And then a smile crept across your face and your eyes lit up and the world started again.-- never getting over it. i'm melting into a puddle of yearning - i was going for cinematic! like old school hollywood romance vibes

This - this is what he had been missing for the last three months. Home. Home. Home. Bradley was home. With you. And holding you.//"Hey, kid." You tightened your hold on him at the moniker. "You miss me?"-- Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! He's home, he's calling her kid, and Alexa is crying - KID 🤭🥺 i’ll never get tired of it! i love any time people use it!

your first kiss in three months. Thirteen weeks. Ninety-one days. Two thousand one hundred ninety-one hours. -- my most precious and loveable nerddddd. i love that he did the math - counting emails, counting days, counting orgasms. again, be contains multitudes!!

Everything about you felt safe and precious. - 🥰 (i'm on my laptop and desktop tumblr doesn't have the big water eyed happy smile one, so just imagine it for me, ok?) - i like to have him think of her as precious a lot and like something to take care of? and not even in a “uwu im so smol 🤪” way? but like she needs to be protected and taken care of?

“Well,” Bradley steered you both away from the crush, “I’ll try my hardest to make it feel real for you later.” -- CHEEKY BOY YOUR DAD IS RIGHT THERE - big talk for someone for falls asleep on her later…

All he wanted to do was play out one of those cheeky little emails of ours in excruciating detail. With his girl. - disrespectfully that's all i want too 💁🏼‍♀️ - i really don’t think it’s too much to ask for? but i digress

It felt like he’d just gotten caught necking his girlfriend behind the bleachers by his father - and well…-- (ughhh they dont have the blushy hand over the mouth one either, so conjure it up for me please and thanks) but also THAT'S HIS DAD THAT'S HIS DAD - i feel like she’s super embarrassed about it too? especially that it’s maverick? lol i just love her crush on him, it’s so funny to me

But as much as he wanted to have ice cream with you and Maverick like he was celebrating a little league baseball win-- plssssssssssss lololololol - side note, they do get ice cream on tuesday while she’s at work lol like just the two of them and maverick picks bradley up, it’s so cute

Was it a little annoying and did it make him irrationally jealous? Sure. But it was also oddly sweet. There were a lot worse things than having your girlfriend genuinely like hanging out with your dad. Plus, Bradley’s didn’t think you really knew you had a crush on him.-- the man has multitudes, lololol. I'll never not be amused by the fact she is crushing on Mav, like it's so cute I can'tttt - and she doesn’t even know!?! i keep going back and forth between wanting bradley to tell her and to let her have it? because she really doesn’t notice? and i feel like if he brought it up, she’d be so embarrassed and it would ruin her relationship with him and bradley def isn’t cruel in that sense

Otherwise known both as the smallest car in the world and Bradley’s inheritance. -- THIS PART WILL NEVER NOT SEND MEEEE IT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I AM WHEEZINGGGGG. It'll be his dowery when it comes time for them to get hitched, lololol - it’s going in the prenup. it’s one of the five assets bradley brings to the marriage lol

So, now his knees were up to his shoulders and you two were separated by an armrest because the damn Italians hated fun and had foregone a bench seat. -- huffy bradley is my everythinggggggg - like furrowed brow, lil pout on his face, sad cow eyes huffy!

Need you by my side, girl you’ll be my bride //You’ll never be denied everlasting love //That was you. That was you and him. Everlasting love. -- SCREAMING DYING AND CRYINGGGGGGG - this is the first time he hears it and thinks of her? but i’m gonna have it come up a couple more times before it really sticks? and it coming up so often when it’s not really a popular song is just fate (i say like i don’t write the damn thing)

After a long shower with all his favorite products and even some new ones you had brought over-- the man has an affinity for luxury hair products! those are some high maintence curls! no basic 5-in-1 for that soft head of hair - he’s an ouai boy now, sometimes he even throws in a hair masque. i feel like we forget he’s fruity (affectionate) sometimes

Originally, Bradley had wanted to get you some frilly old thing, dainty and cute and proper if only to feed some long repressed kink of his.-- g i g g l i n g - and the fleur du mal pearl handcuffs? so dainty, so cute, so proper 💁🏼‍♀️

Bradley shrugged. “Just wanna be near you, kid.” Were you nervous about cooking? Was that why you didn’t want him in the kitchen with you? He backtracked. “If that’s alright?”-- OH I AM TOO SOFT FOR THIS - the ‘if that’s alright’ gets me! like she genuinely just wants him to relax, it’s not even a thing with her being self conscious yet, but it could totally be seen that way? also…bradley maybe if you took a nap then you’d be awake for sexy time later but what do i know…

“- Because this is it,” he interrupted. Because you and I are it.//“Yeah. Because this is it,” you returned, equally as resolute.---- AHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM KNOWING IT AND SAYING IT AND CONFIRMING IT - queue up the bleachers ‘lets get married’ (the mitski cover is unreal if you’re curious)

nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do. need you to call me good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl, anything as long as it’s yours.-- ANYTHING AS LONG AS IT'S YOURSSSS. oh i'll never get over THAT (the italics are vv necessary) email - not to be dramatic but mr darcy’s letter, captain wentworth’s letter, and smart aleck’s march 13th email are the gold standard of affections bestowed via correspondence

No, I shouldn’t have sent you that email. It wasn’t proper, it was embarrassing for you and me and I was just missing you so much and in such a different way that I’ve never experienced before when you’d been gone and - I couldn’t bear not telling you for another moment.-- oh i just want to hug her!! she's so in her head, and hasn't had him to ease those anxieties, of course all those voices in her head have been getting louder 😭 it's been loud for Bradley on that carrier but even in the too quiet of their home, she's had her own inescapable loudness - i’m obsessed with this! ‘her own inescapable loudness!’ like yes, even though she has all this silence and ‘peace’ around her, it’s still so soooo loud (i blame her eat pray love mother…)? she feels needy and pathetic and thinks that’ll make bradley realize she can’t handle him being gone? but it couldn’t be further from the truth? rachel compared her saying ‘proper’ here with bradley thinking it about the apron? like to her it has a bad connotation, but to him it’s something completely different?

“‘Kept picturing you in your bunk writing it while fisting your cock. And then I was laying next to you in your bunk - and it had to be a secret. I had to keep quiet - just like at Thanksgiving - and not make a peep.”-- eep!!! i need it, i want it!! - i have not forgotten about thanksgiving! might be a spring/summertime thing haha

Now say thank you Bradley. Good girl. -- 🙃 yes sir ltcdr bradshaw sir - whatever you say sir, anything you want sir!

Where are you going to have me first?/In our bed, in our house, after you make me dinner in our kitchen. - OUR OUR OUR OUR OUR - and then it transitions into mine mine mine mine mine mi-

the dryer hasn’t even finished your first load yet-- like I love that they're talking, like the desire for each other physically is very much there for both of them. but that emotional intimacy is what they NEED. having these chats so that they can be fully present and on the same page, just makes everything better. Like they're still going to have mindblowing sex, but it's a closeness in more than just one way that they're both seeking, and it's such a unique perspective to the homecoming fics that we usually see. and while i love a smuty reunion and don't think there's anythig bad about that, I really love these softer things that show a couple is more than the sex they have. and this bit is just so domestic. like i'm oof-ed by it! the laundry is going! the garlic is simmering! i just love it - all the sounds and smells of home are surrounding them and they’re in the middle of all of it! i love everything you wrote with this comment, it made me so happy 🥰

sometimes it hits me that you’re not even fully mine? That a part of you will always want to be in the sky or out at sea because you have this other entity that tells you what to do? And when to do it and what to wear and how you should act? Where you’re Rooster and not my Bradley?”-- the ultimate dichotomy. he's himself, but not. like he can only give so much, but he can't give all of himself because not even he has that to offer. - it makes me sad if i think about it too much?

“I think I wrote five different responses to you after - deleted all of them.”-- I think about this part all the time! that we got to see the axed email, when bradley never did. and just how in her head she was (is) about it. - so i actually took exactly what she says when she deleted the email and reworked it for this part here! i wanted it to be true to her thoughts in this moment, but also harken back to what she really was going through at that moment earlier in the month?

Even though it felt like his tattoo was burning into his skin - xxxix, xxxix, xxxix, the number ran through his head constantly as of late - he tried to put on a brave face. Everything you were saying was what he had been mulling over for the last three months. Thousands of miles apart and you both were still so in-sync.-- THAT TATTOO! the angst! the big feelings! - i keep trying to think of a good story for when he got the tattoo? i’ve been up in the air if it was after he broke up with ezra 🥺 or when he graduated top gun? like it’s such a big thing that he surpasses his dad in age and rank so quickly? but he doesn’t surpass his mom for so much longer? it just goes to show how long she lived without him?

Because I don’t want us to have kids and still be a ‘rocket man.’ I don’t want them - that little boy in your dream - to wonder if I want to be up in the sky more than I want to be with him. And be with you. I want to be around, I want to be their dad and your husband. I love it, I love flying. But I don’t love it more than being with you and having a family with you. I don’t want to die in an F18 with a family at home.-- oh I have so many feelings about this! my sweet ptsd boy with the trauma. The ghost of his dad sits with him every time he goes up. And I know that during those hops its all he could think about. The bit about him not wanting his kids to wonder if he loves the sky more than them makes my heart hurttttttt. - i wanted it to be kind of nonsensical but also completely make sense to bradley? like it’s just his way of dealing with all the trauma and angst? it does make sense in a very literal way (don’t fly in an f18 when have a family, won’t die in f18 when have a family), but it’s also ridiculous? i cry every time i read that fucking story i stg like i will be having a normal day and then think about it and the whole day is shot lol

“Kid, I got six more years and then I’m all yours.” He could feel your tears seeping into his shirt as you cried. “It’s like what I said after you sent me that story - I don’t want our kids chasing ghosts. Not like I did.”//“You’d give us your wild?” you whispered. -- you stoppppppp. you went so hard here and i'm about to throw myself down a well - not to be self congratulatory in any way, but i cry every time i read that part

It was a little fucked, honestly, and he was sure his therapist would have plenty to say about it. But why not avoid something that could end in tragedy for everyone involved?//Why run the risk?//Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home. - i must leave the room now. (the knowing his therapist would have something to say about it always makes me giggle because even he recognizes it's not the healthiest approach, but like he has VALID reasons! - listen! he’s at least a little self aware haha, like could he probably better function if he was allowed to take ssris? yes! but he can’t as long as he’s in the navy, so for now he has the self deprecation (also i can’t wait for him to one day get super drunk or break down and tell maverick all of this, that man is going to sob)

“I know,” your cleared the scratchiness out of your throat, “we talked about waiting to have kids until a couple years after we get married, but if you want to wait until you retire, we’ll do it. And then we’ll get all of you. I want to do everything with you, Bradley.”-- they're such a teammmm! I love how they are always meeting each other where they are at and prioritizing the other ones needs! - i think you said it once she she kind of feeds into his ptsd (gn) and almost gets a little ocd (gn) about it? after the [redacted] she has, she switches her [redacted] to pills and that’s how there’s the issue with [redacted] being a surprise

“Oh dear,” you said suddenly. Bradley tensed up. “I got tears on your shirt.” //He chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, I know you can afford to get me a new one.”--oh he is so cute I cannot deallll. cheeky boy - like bradley she literally has all the shit she bought for you over the last three months on the bed in the guest room, like she can afford to get you 500 t shirts (especially those peter k navy speck ones)

Watched his pretty little girlfriend bopping around the kitchen, bopping around the house making sure everything was perfect for him. All you needed was a pretty little dress and a string of pearls to match your earrings. His pretty little housewife. Mrs Bradshaw. Bent over the kitchen island, wearing nothing but a frilly white apron and a pearl necklace as he fucked you from behind - HOUSEWIFE KINKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YODELINGGGGGGGGG AHHHHHHHHHH - he wants to take her on the island so badly, he’s a man possessed (maybe he could’ve later that evening IF HE DIDNT FALL ASLEEP ON HER!)

"But those lessons really helped and made me more confident, which is exactly why you gave them to me, so thank you.”//Maybe it wasn’t exactly why he had given them to you, but…//“You’re very welcome.”-- CHEEKY BOY CHEEKY CHEEKY BOYYYYY - and he like totally is like…idk if she’d be into it and she’s like hold my martini

“What? ‘You trying to get me drunk?” //You put your hand over your heart. “I would never! Though, I know your tolerance might be a little shot. Did that affect your stamina, too?”-- 🤗 2 cocktails, wine, an espresso martini?! he's going to be pink in the cheeks and on the flooooooor - honestly it’s 65% of the reason why he FALLS ASLEEP ON HER

“‘You take a picture of it yet?” //“Of the cake?”//“Gotta commemorate this, it’s gorgeous. Need one with you, too!”- SWEET SUPPORTIVE BOY, he is so proud! - he def shows it to maverick when they get ice cream and is like “isn’t she so pretty? look what she did for me! no one’s made me a cake in years!”

“I’ll write sonnets about you, this cake, anything you want, you got me in a good mood, kid.”-- she got hims SLOSHED lololol - man’s tolerance is SHOT. like gee wonder why he FELL ASLEEP ON HER!?!

“Thought you wanted me in our bed the first time back?” You pressed light kisses across his neck and jawline until you nipped at his ear. “The same bed I’ve been getting myself off in every night since I brought my stuff over.”//“But just like I asked, right? Just your fingers?” You nodded. “Good girl.”-- i feel like i am intruding! this is so 🥵 and so intimate! - next time he’s gone for awhile she has her do more ‘tasks’ 🤭 girlie needs the structure

The couch felt ten times more inviting with you now than it had earlier in the evening when it had just been Bradley. Because now he had you underneath him with your head on the throw pillows he had made note of earlier, now the candles on the coffee table were lit and were the perfect complement to your perfume, and now the cashmere blanket he had always loved was half draped over you both.-- i love the full circle moment!! how its a house on his own, but a home with her! - okay but i have to thank you for this because you helped me so much with adding something here!

where you’d ride him after a long day at work-- their couches do get some milage, hahhahahhahhahaha. they def pay extra for the warranty - so does the kitchen island…and the dining table…and the breakfast table…and the living room floor…and the -

“Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow if you’re good for me?”- CHEEKY - MAYBE IF HE DIDNT FALL ASLEEP!!

Bradley scrunched his nose. “Is this gonna be a normal thing? You doing all the housework? Because that’s not gonna slide, roomie.”-- BRADLEY IS A FEMINIST THERE WILL BE NO INEQUITABLE MENTAL LOAD IN THIS HOUSE NO MAAM - he makes dinner all week while she’s at work 🤭 (i say all week, but it’s three days lol)!

He always liked that, imagining what you were wearing while he was gone. The sporadic pictures hadn’t been enough. You always looked so pretty and he always needed to tell you. -- he's always thinking about her and i'm so soft over it. (and drooling over her wardrobe) - man knows all her clothes!! wonder what he’ll do with that knowledge 🫢🤔

And it was so warm and comfy and his stomach was full and everything smelled so good and he was here. //Finally, he was here with you. //In your house, talking about your future. //Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a few minutes. Maybe if he just took a quick nap…-- sweet content happy boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy oh i loved this so much!! (even though we know there's more to come in mexicoooooo) but them having this lovey domestic reunion, anto to talk, and to luxuriate in person?? oh how I adored itttttt! - if only he didn’t FALL ASLEEP ON HER!!!

rocketman: part ii - from the back of the cab

Summary: in which lieutenant commander bradshaw finally returns stateside for just about the best damn homecoming he's ever had. it's been three months of countless emails and facetime calls between the two of you, but what awaits you both now that bradley's back? and what does it mean for your relationship going forward? [read part i here]

OR a homecoming 159 emails in the making

Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader 10k

Warnings: 18+, explicit language, suggestive dialogue, and suggestive content. a lot of the italic words are direct references to the emails in part i or direct quotes from the rocket man by ray bradbury (read at your own risk because if you picture bradley as the rocket man, you'll cry). the next part will pick up right where this one leaves off and hopefully won't take too long to get out!

from the back of the cab to the airport // i am happy you and i got this hour

Having multiple people, let alone multiple people who loved him more than anything in the world, waiting for him when he got home from a deployment, no matter how brief or long, was definitely a newer experience for Bradley. There was almost a giddiness about him as he said his goodbyes to Bob and Payback and the other pilots he’d flown with from Lemoore. He couldn’t wait to see you in twenty seconds after it’d felt like he’d been gone for twenty years. 

The countless (actually one-hundred and fifty-nine - he’d counted) emails between the two of you had been his saving grace these last three months. You’d emailed him almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day, much to the jealousy of his colleagues. He’d become addicted to them almost. 

How did your cooking class go? What was your day like at work? Yes, he would love to go on a trip to Mexico. No, your mom is an absolute idiot. How did you touch yourself at night? Were you being a good girl for him?

And in twenty seconds he’d have the real thing. He’d have you in his arms, hugging him, kissing him, talking a mile a minute about any and everything under the sun. 

(He knew Maverick would be there, too. He wasn’t being flippant about it or anything - all Bradley had wanted for the last thirteen years was for Maverick to be there when he got home. Last year, when he’d gotten back from three months out near Guam, he’d unabashedly cried from behind his sunglasses when he saw Maverick, Penny, and Amelia waiting for him. Amelia had even made a sign for him with terrible puns and lots of glitter. They’d had Bradley over for dinner - a family dinner - and he had felt on top of the world. Until he’d had to go back to his brand-new, empty house. Bitter with the sweet, he supposed.)

Off to his right, Bradley could see Bob and Callie hugging, and Reuben fussing over his wife’s noticeable baby bump. He smiled at the sight and the thought that he wouldn’t want to leave you while you were pregnant briefly floated through his mind. 

And then, like he had conjured you up, there you were. You hadn’t seen him yet. But Bradley could see you as you craned your neck and stretched on your tiptoes, bobbing and weaving and stretching to try and find him in the crush.

He'd known you were taking a half day to pick him up and you looked so soft and lovely in your off-duty clothes - a simple pair of cropped jeans and a pale blue oxford that he'd later realize was his. Pale blue in a sea of khaki with your sunglasses perched on the top of your head as the sun still beamed strongly onto the asphalt. 

Like something out of a movie, you turned your head and locked eyes with him. The two of you couldn't have been more than thirty feet apart and it was like everyone and everything around you had stopped - just for a moment. A blip in time. And then a smile crept across your face and your eyes lit up and the world started again.

“Bradley!”

With nary a glance back at Maverick, who Bradley had just realized was standing next to you, you ran towards Bradley and into his arms with so much force that he staggered backwards. His seabag made a solid thud on the ground as he wrapped his arms around you - one around your waist and another around the back of your neck. You burrowed your face in his neck and he couldn't resist holding you tighter, lifting you slightly so that the tips of your shoes kissed the asphalt. 

This - this is what he had been missing for the last three months. Home. Home. Home. Bradley was home. With you. And holding you. 

"Hey, kid." You tightened your hold on him at the moniker. "You miss me?"

“More than anything.” Not even a second after he put you down, your hands were running across his cheeks and neck. "Are you alright? Do you need anything? I have snacks in the car if you're hungry or -"

He cut you off with a kiss, your first kiss in three months. Thirteen weeks. Ninety-one days. Two thousand one hundred ninety-one hours. 

Bradley knew he would have a lot more of these homecomings - had even had some with you already. But he would never forget this one - his favorite homecoming. Two weeks, ten days, three days; it was nothing. Nothing compared to being in your arms again after three months apart. Nothing compared to kissing you again after three months. 

There was so much genuine love and longing in you - in him - that Bradley already dreaded when he’d leave you again. Because there would always be another time. 

At least until he broke the cycle. 

(Don’t ever be a rocket man. Promise me you won’t be like me.) 

But for now you were safe in his arms, feeling and smelling and sounding like home and god - for now that was enough. 

Your voice was similarly muffled. “Oh, bubs. I missed you so much. I can’t believe you’re finally home.”

“And I can’t believe you’re in front of me right now.” 

He wanted to touch you everywhere. Your cheeks, your hair, your shoulders, your legs, your breasts. Everywhere. There was no way he could ever get enough of you. 

You tilted your head up and smiled at him. “I love you.”

“Love you, too. Let’s go home.” The smile that lit up your face could guide Bradley home on even his darkest days. 

Before setting off, he gave you another kiss, this one just as sweet, and the two of you started making your way to the gate and by the other families milling around. It was a bit awkward balancing his arm around your shoulder with his seabag, but it was all worth it to have you tucked into his side again. You were so soft and warm and smelled so pretty. He couldn’t get over it. Everything about you felt safe and precious. 

“I can’t wait for you to see the house! I have almost everything situated, just a couple seasonal clothes and coats at my old place. I thought maybe we could go after work on Tuesday - unless you’re in a debrief or something or have other plans?”

Bradley squeezed you closer to his side. “Nah, I should be done by Monday afternoon, so Tuesday’s perfect.”

You nuzzled your face against his chest. “I can’t believe you’re home.” And then softer still, “I’m gonna keep saying it because it still doesn’t feel real.”

“Well,” Bradley steered you both away from the crush, “I’ll try my hardest to make it feel real for you later.” 

And, God, it went straight to his cock, the way you peered up at him, eyes slightly widened. You even bit your lip, cheeky thing. His seabag slipped from his grasp and he wound both arms around your waist pulling you close to him again. All he wanted to do was play out one of those cheeky little emails of ours in excruciating detail. With his girl. 

His wonderful girl. His sweet girl. His smart girl. His, his, his, his -

It was definitely verging on improper, the way he was kissing you now. But Bradley didn’t care. Not when you felt and smelled and tasted so fucking good -

“- Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw!” 

You whined against Bradley’s lips when he pulled away. It felt like he’d just gotten caught necking his girlfriend behind the bleachers by his father - and well…

Bradley cleared his throat and hoped his cheeks weren’t too red. “Captain Mitchell…”

They exchanged salutes, Maverick’s face all serious until Bradley could see him fighting a smile. There was a beat and then Bradley wrapped his arms around Mav in a tight hug. 

“Good to see you, kiddo.” 

“You too, Mav.” 

He let Bradley go to look him over much like you had. It warmed his heart to be fussed over by his dad. To have the two most important people in his life be there to pick him up and bring him home.

“Come on you two, ice cream? My treat?”

You gasped. “Now Captain Mitchell, you wouldn’t be suggesting we spoil Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw’s dinner with ice cream, would you?”

Bradley hadn’t had ice cream in weeks. And a vanilla soft serve with chocolate jimmies sounded like absolute heaven right now. But as much as he wanted to have ice cream with you and Maverick like he was celebrating a little league baseball win, Bradley wanted to go home with you even more. He would see Mav during the week while you were at the office. 

Right now, he just wanted to go home with his girl.

“Nah, I think we’re gonna head home. But I’ll take a raincheck for Monday?”

Mav nodded. “Sounds good to me, I’ll bring the car round then?”

“Sounds good, thanks!” you chirped.

Wait, what? Before Bradley could even question him, Maverick was off towards the parking lot - leaving you in his direct line of fire. 

Which, to be fair, you did look contrite. “Pete thought it would be easier if he drove, especially with all the people around…”

And was Bradley really going to be mad at Maverick for caring too much? For wanting to spend time with his kid after he got home from a three month deployment? No. Not even at the expense of a twenty minute car ride home alone with you. 

“I should’ve told you earlier he was driving, sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” You both started making your way to the gate again. “Probably gave him an excuse to take the rest of the afternoon off, too.”

You giggled. “I asked if he wanted to get lunch beforehand, but he said he was wrapping something up.”

Bradley’s stride momentarily faltered. Right, he forgot about that - your little lunch dates with Maverick. Was it a little annoying and did it make him irrationally jealous? Sure. But it was also oddly sweet. There were a lot worse things than having your girlfriend genuinely like hanging out with your dad. Plus, Bradley’s didn’t think you really knew you had a crush on him.

“I’m sure you two had plenty of time to catch up while I was gone, but now you’re all mine, kid.”

You wrapped your hands around his upper arm and gave it a squeeze. With a few nods at his fellow aviators and other assorted crew members, you two made it through the gate and to the parking lot where Maverick was waiting in his 1962 Ferrari 250 GTE. 

Otherwise known both as the smallest car in the world and Bradley’s inheritance. 

The car was in really good shape and drove like a dream. But it was very much not designed for a 6’1” naval aviator - especially when one was relegated to the back seat. Because Bradley didn’t want you to be in the back seat alone and you had refused to sit in the front. 

So, now his knees were up to his shoulders and you two were separated by an armrest because the damn Italians hated fun and had foregone a bench seat. 

Though this did not stop you from laying a cheeky hand on his knee, inching it higher and higher up his thigh as you crossed the Coronado Bridge. You glanced over at Bradley and winked, stopping yourself from getting higher by holding his hand instead. 

It was never a long drive back to his - your house, but today it seemed to fly by ever faster. Maverick was unusually chatty in the front seat, asking about your upcoming trip and if you needed a ride to the airport on Thursday morning, while also telling Bradley about the newly renovated ready room on base. 

The chatter petered off into the background as Bradley suddenly zeroed in on the song playing on the radio - Everlasting Love. He found himself mouthing the lyrics. 

Need you by my side, girl you’ll be my bride 

You’ll never be denied everlasting love 

That was you. That was you and him. Everlasting love. 

He squeezed your hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss. And while you and Maverick chatted and told Bradley some of the more lighter happenings of the last three months - mainly the raccoon garage saga - he was counting down the minutes till it was just you and him. Peace and quiet with his everlasting love.

Which was really everything he could ever want. 

------------------

After a long shower with all his favorite products and even some new ones you had brought over, Bradley made his way downstairs and was greeted with the unfairly adorable sight of you chopping potatoes at the kitchen island. There was music playing, candles lit, and the smell of something delicious coming from the kitchen. He smiled, seeing you wearing the apron he’d picked out for you all those months ago and was relieved to see that it looked broken in from wear. Because, to be honest, it was nearly impossible to pick out clothes for you.

Originally, Bradley had wanted to get you some frilly old thing, dainty and cute and proper if only to feed some long repressed kink of his. But the denim apron was practical and you would get use out of it for plenty more years to come. 

And he could always get you another one for special occasions. Because he had had a lot of time to think about all those special occasions with you while he was away…

A beautiful smile lit up your face as you saw him pad down the stairs. “My, my, don't you look cozy?”

Once his socked-feet were firmly on the hardwood floor, Bradley spun on his heels showing off his comfy joggers and plain, grey t-shirt. “Do I pass muster?” He pressed a kiss to the cheek you tilted up for him. 

“I’ll think you’ll do, bubs.” He pulled you in for a hug from behind. “Mmmmm, you smell so good.”

He swayed you back and forth in his arms. “I should, I used all your shampoo…” 

“Cheeky boy.” You craned your neck and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “You want a drink while I make dinner? You can lay on the couch for a bit if you want? You must be exhausted.”

“Oh?” He hadn’t even considered going into the living room, not when you were in the kitchen. “Uhhh, sure, yeah. I’ll take a drink.”

You smiled and pulled back from him. “Old fashioned?” He nodded. You got out a rocks glass from the cabinet and went over to the bar cart in the dining room for the whiskey and bitters. “I got those fancy bitters at that liquor store you like.”

“Did you take care of everything?” He said it to hide his own reddened cheeks, but you appeared equally as bashful.

“Tried too.”

“You gonna have one, too?” 

You nodded. “Yeah, but we’re also having wine with dinner, so just one for now - here you go. Got to start you off slow, Bradshaw.” You slid the glass over to him and held your own out to toast. “To your long awaited homecoming.”

Your eyes locked over the rim of your glasses and you had both barely set them back down on the table before Bradley pressed a kiss to your lips. You tasted like sugar and whiskey and felt like home. 

“Missed you, kid.”

“Missed you, too, rocketman. You have no idea how happy I am that you’re home.” You kissed him again. “Now, you gotta let me finish cooking. The table’s already set, so there’s nothing for you to do, but relax.”

“Fine, fine,” he heaved out a great sigh, “banishing me already and I’ve only been home for a few hours, I see how it is - owww!” You smacked his ass with a dishtowel. “Alright, I’m going, I’m going.”

The living room looked nearly identical to how it had when Bradley had left in December - minus the Christmas tree, of course - but there were still little touches of you everywhere. The pillows were arranged far nicer than Bradley had ever been able to manage and there were three new candles of differing heights on the coffee table. Plus, the cream colored cashmere blanket from your apartment that he always stole was artfully strewn across the back of one of the leather sofas. 

With one glance back towards you in the kitchen - you were completely focused on some Russet potatoes - Bradley flopped onto the couch and tucked himself under the blanket. It was warm and cozy and so comfortable under there in his couch clothes in the house you two shared. Quiet, too, even with some Van Morrison playing from the kitchen. It was the kind of quiet that could lull Bradley to a peaceful sleep, especially after having been ensconced in constant noise for the last three months.

And he tried for half an hour - he really did. He thought of how excited you were to show him the perfectly organized closet and how you’d put all the little bits and bobs you’d gotten for him over the last three months in the guest room for him to look over at his leisure and how he’d corrected you on where the mail should go. 

It was just - it was too quiet and too perfect and too comfy and he just wanted to be with you. Even if it meant sitting on one of the uncomfortable kitchen barstools. 

You shook your head, but smiled as he approached. “You don’t have to watch me, you must be exhausted?”

Bradley shrugged. “Just wanna be near you, kid.” Were you nervous about cooking? Was that why you didn’t want him in the kitchen with you? He backtracked. “If that’s alright?”

You bit your lip and gestured for Bradley to sit at the island in front of you. There were a couple mise en place bowls laying around, but you quickly made room for Bradley and his drink. 

“It’s like a taping of the Barefoot Contessa.”

You chuckled. “Let’s just hope the food’s as good as Ina’s.”

“Walk me through it.”

With a teasing smile on your face, you went back to mincing the garlic - with a glowing comment from Bradley on your newly acquired knife skills - and he just sat there, chin propped up on his hand watching you explain the next couple steps. You even got a yes, chef out of him when you asked him to turn the music down. The roasted potatoes smelled absolutely divine cooking in the oven and you had just finished snipping the ends off the asparagus when your demeanor suddenly changed. You fiddled with your apron tie and abruptly turned around to face him, looking almost surprised by the action, though you wouldn’t exactly look him in the eye.

“Actually, now that you’re here - or here at the table,” you huffed out a laugh, “there’s something I want to talk to you about that happened while you were gone - no, that’s not - something I was thinking about while you were gone?”

You put the burner down on the sauce pan, leaving the minced garlic to simmer before you were facing Bradley yet again. You looked nervous, unsure of yourself, as you played with the bracelet he had gotten you for Christmas. Had something happened while he was gone that you hadn’t told him about? Were you sick? Hurt? Was there someone - no, no, you’d never.

Bradley leaned back in his chair and hoped he sounded surer than he felt. “Sure, uhh, yeah, go ahead.”

“It actually has to do with some emails I sent you - last week, in particular. One of them is actually that email.” You looked down at the granite countertop as Bradley tried to think of which email would constitute italics. “But I also want to talk about one of the other emails, when I messaged you about that dream I had and kind of how that all falls into everything that we’ve been going through and probably will be going through -”

“- Because this is it,” he interrupted. Because you and I are it.

“Yeah. Because this is it,” you returned, equally as resolute. “So…”

Bradley sat up straighter in his chair and cleared his throat. “Which one do you want to talk about first?”

You fiddled with your apron bow. “Maybe the one from the thirteenth?”

“Which one was that?”

Now you definitely were avoiding looking at him. Your words came out slowly, like you dreaded saying them and Bradley had a sudden inkling that he knew exactly which email you were referencing. 

“The one about me needing you. Needing you to take care of me,” you whispered the last part.

He could feel his cheeks coloring. “Oh. Right, yeah.” 

Bradley had never received an email like that before. Had never even received a text like that before. It was just so raw and almost animalistic the way your need for him jumped off the page.

nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do. need you to call me good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl, anything as long as it’s yours.

“I shouldn’t have sent that one to you - especially since if I could’ve waited five more days, none of this would’ve happened. It’s just - I needed you so badly and wanted you - ugh, no! No, I shouldn’t have sent you that email. It wasn’t proper, it was embarrassing for you and me and I was just missing you so much and in such a different way that I’ve never experienced before when you’d been gone and - I couldn’t bear not telling you for another moment. Because no one was there to tell me what to do or -”

You threw your hands out and put them on the top of your head. God, it looked like you were about to cry. And it broke Bradley’s heart. He pushed his barstool back from the island and padded over towards you. 

“Come ‘ere, kid.” 

You let out a sigh and your eyes were swimming with tears as you fell into Bradley’s arms. You felt small in his arms - not necessarily in the physical sense, but like you were folding in on yourself. He needed to take care of you - take you, take you, take you - 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, whenever you want, it’s fine.” Bradley pressed a kiss to your forehead and squeezed you tighter. You held on to him tightly, which muffled your next words. 

“I’ve never had someone who I need in that way. And it’s not even necessarily about the sex, itself. I could go months without having sex - had before I met you. It was never something I really needed to get by, I guess? I could take care of it on my own. 

“But then - then I met you and you just? You make me need you - make me crave you, you tell me what to do, make me want to please you. And then you just leave for three months and I have to learn how to do all that on my own and it was just so hard? It felt like I dropped? Like everything caught up to me after all those months and weeks and I felt scared and lonely and needy and desperate for you and for you to tell me I’m a good girl and take care of me and be my d - be dominant with me.”

Your breathing quickened as you talked and Bradley felt you getting more worked up. He rubbed his hands across your back, hoping it would soothe the ache inside of you, if only a little bit. “Shh, shh, it’s okay, kid.”

i need you i need you i need you i need you bradley bradley bradley bradley

You sniffled. “I guess I just didn’t think - I mean, I knew other people would see it - and I did think that was kind of hot, especially when you called me out for it - it was only after, when I’d realized what I’d done that I saw how embarrassing it was for you. 

“Like Joe from Comms being like hey, did you know Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw’s girlfriend is a horny, pathetic, subby mess for him? You gotta see it, man. She couldn’t even make it three months without getting fucked. He can’t even take care of his g -”

“- Stop it.” Bradley grabbed your chin. “You know that’s not true.” 

“Maybe.” You shrugged. “But I was already feeling shitty about my mom and being so busy at work and how I loo -” you broke off and Bradley desperately wanted you to finish the thought. “I guess it all caught up to me.”

“But I wrote back. I wrote back and told you everything I wanted you to hear and what you needed to hear. And god, I’d do it again, I’d do it in a heartbeat if it brought you comfort and I probably should’ve done it sooner.” 

nothing stretches me out like you do, nothing makes me feel as small as you do, nothing makes me flush like the sound of your voice against my neck as i come, nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do

You squeezed your arms around his stomach and breathed him in. God, he loved you so much, he’d say anything and do anything to make you realize that. 

“I needed it, what you wrote me, and I needed to tell you what I said, but I should’ve waited so, I’m sorry, can you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, kid. You message me when you need me, no matter how.” He kissed your temple. “I know we’ve never really talked about how that part of our relationship would work while I was gone, so maybe next time we just make a plan?”

You nodded. “I’d like that. I know it’s not like that all the time between us, so I didn’t even think of it before you left.”

“I hadn’t either,” he confessed.

Long distance d/s relationship reddit would be Bradley’s best friend over the next few days. Neither of you would have to go through that again, not if he had something to say about it. The whole idea of not being allowed to use anything besides your fingers to masturbate was a good start, but it was just that - a start. Because like you’d said, you two weren’t in that dynamic all the time, but you both needed it. It was new for both of you. You’d just have to come up with a list together. 

But just to give you a little encouragement in the meantime…

“And let’s not forget…” You peered up at him. “You did tell me you read my email seven times…”

You giggled and shoved his shoulder. “Might’ve been an understatement.”

“Oh?”

“I think I came three times that first night alone.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmmhm.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and played with the ends of his hair. “‘Kept picturing you in your bunk writing it while fisting your cock. And then I was laying next to you in your bunk - and it had to be a secret. I had to keep quiet - just like at Thanksgiving - and not make a peep.”

“But you don’t like to be quiet…” 

He crowded you against the island and rolled his hips against yours. The thin fabric of his joggers did little to hide how much he desired you, especially after the conversation you’d just had. 

His subby little girlfriend. God, he couldn’t wait to take you apart bit by bit later. 

Now say thank you Bradley. Good girl. 

Though, that’s not to say that you couldn’t partake in a little preview now. Bradley’s lips crashed against yours, caught up in the furor and headiness of it all, and your body melted against his. Three months later and you still responded so well to him. Your breathy little sighs as he bit your lip and pressed countless kisses along your jawline and neck sounded like heaven. You smelled so sweet, tasted so sweet, felt so sweet - he kissed you again, coaxing your mouth back open.

“Bradley, bubs, I -” you gasped against his lips, “I need to turn the stove off if we’re going to -”

Without taking his lips off yours, Bradley reached behind his back and turned off the gas burner. The garlic still sizzled in the pan, but now without the risk of burning the house down. You could put fresh garlic on later, now he just wanted you. 

His hands went back to their place on your hips before the left slid underneath your oxford and up your body. You stiffened slightly, but welcomed his touch, if only for a moment before you pulled back from him. 

“We have to - I have to finish dinner.” He nodded, albeit reluctantly. You pecked his lips again. 

There was something deeply erotic about waiting - even if it was just for a couple of hours. 

Where are you going to have me first?

In our bed, in our house, after you make me dinner in our kitchen. 

Bradley cleared his throat. “You said you wanted to talk about another email? The one about your dream, right? The one with our kid.”

It felt right saying it - our kid. 

God, Bradley, I wish you were here right now so you could hold me and tell me you loved me because I just want to feel your arms around me and know you’re real. I want to tell you about the little boy - the perfect mix of me and you

“We can wait until dinner - or even after dinner, if you want?” You didn’t give him a chance to respond. “I’m sorry I’m dropping all this on you. I know you’ll say otherwise, but I shouldn’t have done this right when you came home - the dryer hasn’t even finished your first load yet. I know you’re exhausted and definitely have your own stuff to work through after being gone and we should be having sex on the floor or over the arm of the couch, not listening to me blubber -”

Bradley shook his head and interrupted you. He didn’t want to give you another moment to doubt yourself. 

“- Hey, hey. I wanna talk about the heavy stuff with you, it’s okay. And I’d rather we do it now so we can really enjoy these next few days together - and maybe then have sex on the floor and over the arm of the couch. I don’t want this hanging over your head, kid. 

“And you’re not alone in thinking about that over the last few months - it’s probably been even longer for me…”

You wiped at the tears pooling in your eyes. “Really?” 

“You know you’re it for me, kid.” Have been since our fourth date went unsaid. “So, come on, walk me through it.”

You leaned against the back counter near the stove, while Bradley mirrored you against the island. You sighed. 

“I love you so much - sometimes I’m scared that I love you this much and that it’s not quite been a year since we met. And I never thought I’d be so heart achingly in love with someone in the Navy, of all things, and just - sometimes it hits me that you’re not even fully mine? That a part of you will always want to be in the sky or out at sea because you have this other entity that tells you what to do? And when to do it and what to wear and how you should act? Where you’re Rooster and not my Bradley?”

Bradley frowned at the use of his callsign coming from your lips. It didn’t feel right, it didn’t sound right. He didn’t want to be Rooster around you. He liked that he didn’t have to be Rooster around you.

“And it makes me absolutely crazy because you love it and you’re not going to stop - and you shouldn’t stop, not for me! But, god, Bradley, sometimes I want to shake you and hold you down and beg you to stay. Like that fucking story.” You wiped your eyes. 

“It’s all I wanted to tell you when I had that dream. About how I want you to come home so badly. I want you to stay here with me forever and never leave and to have that cute little boy who was the perfect mix of me and you and to have you here in my arms every night. And I know it’s selfish of me to ask or even make you think about it, but I want you right here. I don’t want you looking at the sky when you’re here and wanting to be up there. And I know you don’t either, Bradley. You give everything to everyone, you don’t do things by halves.” 

You both stood there, Bradley stunned by your words, and you, seemingly stunned that you’d actually said them. He took a step towards you, but didn’t cross that final barrier to touch you. He remembered highlighting a particular passage from the story in his response back to you and how he never wanted you to feel the same way as Lily. He didn’t want to let it - flying, the Navy, all of it get a hold of him.

“Don’t ever be a Rocket Man.” I stopped. “I mean it,” he said. “Because when you’re out there you want to be here, and when you’re here you want to be out there. Don’t start that. Don’t let it get hold of you.” “But-“ “You don’t know what it is. Every time I’m out there I think, If I ever get back to Earth I’ll stay there; I’ll never go out again. But I go out, and I guess I’ll always go out.”

You sniffled and wiped your eyes on your sleeve. “And I was so scared when you didn’t get back to me right away. Thought I’d scared you off…” You glanced down at the floor and played with your bracelet. It looked so fragile and dainty on your wrist. “I think I wrote five different responses to you after - deleted all of them.”

Bradley nudged your foot with his own and got you to look up at him. Even though it felt like his tattoo was burning into his skin - xxxix, xxxix, xxxix, the number ran through his head constantly as of late - he tried to put on a brave face. Everything you were saying was what he had been mulling over for the last three months. Thousands of miles apart and you both were still so in-sync. He cleared his throat before speaking. 

“You turned my life on its head when you sent me that story.” Even weeks later, he was still in disbelief. “And I know it wouldn’t have changed anything - not really - but I kept - I keep wondering how my dad would’ve reacted to it? Or my mom? I don’t think it would’ve made anything different, but just knowing about it? Because I don’t want us to have kids and still be a ‘rocket man.’ I don’t want them - that little boy in your dream - to wonder if I want to be up in the sky more than I want to be with him. And be with you. I want to be around, I want to be their dad and your husband. I love it, I love flying. But I don’t love it more than being with you and having a family with you. I don’t want to die in an F18 with a family at home.”

You let out a sob and he wrapped his arms around you and slowly swayed you from side to side. “Kid, I got six more years and then I’m all yours.” He could feel your tears seeping into his shirt as you cried. “It’s like what I said after you sent me that story - I don’t want our kids chasing ghosts. Not like I did.”

“You’d give us your wild?” you whispered. 

Bradley nodded and felt his own eyes welling up. “I want us to have what my mom and I didn’t. And it’s not that my mom wasn’t enough, but there was always a piece missing for both of us - Maverick, too.” You wiped the tears away from his eyes. “I love you, so, so much, kid. You know I’m gonna marry you. And I just want to be yours when it comes time for us to have a family.”

Honestly, it was a relief that you’d brought all this up. It only reaffirmed the thought that had been bouncing around Bradley’s head lately.

You two wouldn’t have kids until he was out of the Navy. 

There were six years until Bradley could put in his twenty years and retire. It was a little fucked, honestly, and he was sure his therapist would have plenty to say about it. But why not avoid something that could end in tragedy for everyone involved?

Why run the risk?

Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home.  

And he knew his logic wasn’t exactly sound. It didn’t entirely make sense even to himself. There would be plenty of times over the next six years where he could get into an accident or not come home from a mission. He understood that. 

Except, currently, there wasn’t a kid waiting at home for him. There wasn’t a three year old Bradley waiting at home and being told by his mom that his dad wasn’t coming home. He knew that if you had a family, it would be harder for you to move on if something happened to him. And he didn’t want to put you and any future little nuggets through that. He didn’t want to be a rocketman with them.

Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home. 

He wasn’t going to do that to your family. So, why not just wait to have a family until after he got out of the Navy? It seemed obvious. Perfectly so. The words had been ready to pour out of his mouth, except you beat him to it.

“I know,” your cleared the scratchiness out of your throat, “we talked about waiting to have kids until a couple years after we get married, but if you want to wait until you retire, we’ll do it. And then we’ll get all of you. I want to do everything with you, Bradley.”

Give you my wild, give you a child.

Bradley wrapped you up in his arms and squeezed you hard. “I love you, I love you, I love you. God, I love you so much.” He kissed your forehead and cheeks and lips and tried his damndest to pour all the love he had for you into it.

“I love you, too, Bradley,” you said simply. 

And maybe it wasn’t exactly healthy to wait and almost be consumed by this desperate need to control both your lives and have a countdown clock to when everything would be okay. Because maybe things wouldn’t be okay in six years? And maybe you and Bradley would get in a car accident tomorrow or maybe you both would have trouble having kids or or or…

But Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home.  

He would need to talk about this with his therapist at some point. The therapist the Navy gave him eighteen months ago after he ‘recklessly’ went back to save Maverick. The therapist that he just never stopped seeing even though he was cleared from last April. 

“We’re a bit of a mess, aren’t we?” Bradley asked after a moment.

You pulled back. “Maybe? And maybe it’s a little extreme for both of us to think like that, but we’ll make it work, okay? However we have to, we’ll make it work for us.” You punctuated your words with a quick kiss over his heart. 

“Oh dear,” you said suddenly. Bradley tensed up. “I got tears on your shirt.” 

He chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, I know you can afford to get me a new one.” You shoved his shoulder and you both laughed. And just like that, the mood was lifted. 

Bradley had been right earlier - he felt lighter. You looked lighter. And that wasn’t to say that you’d looked gloomy or upset or scared before, but your shoulders weren’t as tense and you kept smiling, at him, at whatever you were cooking, at nothing.

This could be his life every night. You could be together like this forever. Cooking dinner side by side, talking about where the mail should go (it very much was not on the hall table, that was for damn sure), complaining about Mr. Harrington next door or arguing over who should vacuum. All the little things that made that big life together. The one you both wanted so badly. 

And contrary to your earlier statement, you did make you and Bradley another drink before dinner. In fact, it probably was what gave you the courage to attempt to flip the chicken in the saucepan like a regular José Andrés. (Even more surprising was the fact that you didn’t drop any.)

Once the potatoes finished, you swapped them in the oven for the asparagus, hoping the former would cool while the latter was roasting. All the while, you talked Bradley through everything - how much oil you added to the asparagus, where you’d gotten the potatoes, and the recipe for the chocolate cake you’d made for dessert. 

It was - well, Bradley didn’t really have a word for what it was. His first thought was how nice it was seeing you so confident and capable and proud of yourself. But his second thought was that it was also oddly stirring seeing you do all this for him while he just watched. 

Watched his pretty little girlfriend bopping around the kitchen, bopping around the house making sure everything was perfect for him. All you needed was a pretty little dress and a string of pearls to match your earrings. His pretty little housewife. Mrs Bradshaw. Bent over the kitchen island, wearing nothing but a frilly white apron and a pearl necklace as he fucked you from behind -

“All set!” Your cheerful voice interrupted Bradley’s fantasy before it could really start. He had zoned out while you’d been prattling on about the herb cutting scissors you wanted to get at Crate & Barrel. “Shall we?”

Bradley readjusted himself before getting up from his seat and helping you bring the drinks and serving dishes into the dining room. 

Mrs Bradshaw.

-----------------

“So, how is it?” you asked once the food had been served and the wine had been poured. You had your chin propped up on your fist as you watched Bradley take the first few, slow bites of food. 

It was good. It was more than good, it was excellent. It was hot and perfectly seasoned and all the textures were just right. And it wasn’t just because he’d been on an aircraft carrier, eating out of the officer’s mess everyday. Because the food was actually pretty good on the carrier and the Aussies had even treated him to a couple meals. 

But he wouldn’t be Bradley and you wouldn’t be you if he didn’t mess with you a little. He tilted his head back and forth, trying to look like he was mulling it over. “It’s good…”

You nudged his foot under the table once you saw the smile threatening to break out on his face. “You ass.” The words lacked any heat.

Bradley took another bite of potatoes before speaking. “It’s really good, kid, seriously. You killed it. Seemed like you really enjoyed it, too.”

“I did,” you nodded, “I just always used to be so nervous I’d undercook something and make everyone sick, you know? Or that people would be lying to me about the food and that it was burnt or under-seasoned or something? But those lessons really helped and made me more confident, which is exactly why you gave them to me, so thank you.”

Maybe it wasn’t exactly why he had given them to you, but…

“You’re very welcome.”

Dinner continued on with only light hearted conversation after that. What Reuben and Bob were planning for their leave (Reuben and his wife were going up the coast for a mini-break and then building out the nursery for their baby, while Bob was going home to see his parents), the work you had to finish up before your trip, and what you both were hoping to get out of your vacation (good food, a tan, reading plenty of books, and having copious amounts of sex). 

All the while, Bradley had another helping of everything, except the potatoes, of which he had two additional helpings - you refrained from seconds entirely. You two must have sat at the table for over two and a half hours, talking and eating and laughing. It was perfect. Bradley helped you bring the dishes back into the kitchen; both of you were more than happy to deal with them a little later. 

And then there was the dessert. The chocolate cake looked heavenly - Ina’s recipe, of course - and you asked Bradley if he wanted an espresso martini to wash it down.

“What? ‘You trying to get me drunk?” 

You put your hand over your heart. “I would never! Though, I know your tolerance might be a little shot. Did that affect your stamina, too?”

“Ha, ha, ha hilarious.” He took the cake plate and knife from you while you went over to the bar to make the martinis. “I’ll have you know that the Aussies were very accommodating hosts.”

“The Aussies, huh?”

Bradley shrugged. It wouldn’t be an issue to tell you now, not after he’d been dying to mention it for the past few weeks. “It’s not classified or anything, they just don’t like us talking about it in the moment.”

“Wait,” you came back into the dinning room with a coupe half filled in your right hand. “Did you go to Australia?” 

“Possibly…” You shot him a look. “We do this joint training exercise with them every year. Last year was my first year.”

“That’s so cool! Did you spend much time actually on land or…” You went back to preparing the drinks and tossed your next question over your shoulder. “When was it? I think I saw something about it in the news.”

“After you got back from London. It was just a week for the actual exercise, but there were a lot of meetings in the lead up, we did a couple war-games, too. We were mainly in New South Wales with the aviators, but went up to the North Western Territory for the actual exercises.”

Last year, Bradley hadn’t had the opportunity to really get too involved in the planning aspects and being on base - his promotion hadn’t come through yet, so he had been just a lowly lieutenant - but his elevated rank granted him that privilege this year. 

“Wait, that’s so cool, I’ll have to read up on it more! I definitely remember hearing about it on the news, should’ve made the connection.” You came back over with the drinks. “How were the other pilots? This isn’t going to be some Manchurian Candidate bullshit, is it?”

Bradley barked out a laugh. “Nah, that’ll be Bob.”

“Did it have a fun name? They always seem to!” 

Bradley took a sip of his martini. Damn it was delicious. “Exercise Talisman Sabre - R-E. You want me to cut the cake?”

You nodded. Bradley pulled the cake stand closer to his seat. The cake was stunning. The frosting was definitely homemade and the white piping on the top looked perfect. “‘You take a picture of it yet?” 

“Of the cake?”

“Gotta commemorate this, it’s gorgeous. Need one with you, too!” You smiled bashfully as Bradley snapped a couple pics with his phone and then put it face-up on the table. The picture of the two of you at your Christmas party before his deployment smiled back up at him. 

You sat back down in your chair. “Here’s hoping it tastes just as good.”

There would still be plenty of cake for leftovers, but Bradley thought the two of you deserved a little something extra tonight and measured the first piece a little bigger than he normally would. 

“Oh. You can have that one. I’ll take a smaller piece.” He went to cut another piece, slightly smaller than his. “Little smaller.” He kept scooching the knife closer and closer for your approval until it was only about a third of the size of his piece. “That’s perfect, thanks.”

You took a huge first bite of cake and Bradley did the same. “Oh, god. It’s so good,” he said. “I need the recipe so I can make this every week.” 

Your fork froze midair for a moment, before you took a slightly smaller piece this time. “I don’t know if I can handle this every week...” You chuckled. 

Bradley moaned. “But the ganache! The whipped frosting on the top! Sweetheart, it’s so good. The world cannot be deprived of its beauty.”

That got a proper laugh out of you. “‘You writing sonnets about cake now?”

“I’ll write sonnets about you, this cake, anything you want, you got me in a good mood, kid.” He licked the frosting off his fork and then went back in for the final two bites. 

“That might just be the martini talking, bubs. Here,” you slid your barely eaten plate over towards him, “you can have the rest of mine.”

Bradley frowned. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I had extra batter and made some cupcakes. Had one this morning. I’m chocolate cake’d out.” 

He was a little dubious since you loved chocolate cake, but took your words at face value. 

“But first,” you swiped some extra frosting off your plate and streaked it across Bradley’s cheek, “you got a little something on your face, bubs.”

“Oh no,” he laid it on thick, “guess you’ll have to come over here and help me clean it off.”

In a flash, you were on him - arms wrapped around his neck, legs astride his thigh. Your feet remained firmly on the ground, but Bradley wanted all your weight on him, reminding him that he was here in the house you shared and not back in his bunk on the carrier. 

“There we go.” You swiped the frosting off his cheek and sucked the excess off your finger. “My pretty boy again.”

He smiled. “You say that like you haven’t wanted to fuck me since we got home.”

Your jaw dropped at his words. “I’m trying to draw out the anticipation!” Bradley squeezed your hips and you shifted your weight on his thigh. This time your words came out quieter. “Thought you wanted me in our bed the first time back?” You pressed light kisses across his neck and jawline until you nipped at his ear. “The same bed I’ve been getting myself off in every night since I brought my stuff over.”

“But just like I asked, right? Just your fingers?” You nodded. “Good girl.”

You ducked your head at the praise and then pulled yourself even closer to him before capturing his lips in a deep kiss. You tasted like espresso and chocolate and Bradley wanted to take you right there on the dining room table with little regard for the state of his stem and dish-ware. Slowly, you rocked your body on his lap and let out a breathy gasp against his lips. The seam on your jeans must have been driving you absolutely crazy, but you didn’t let up. And, frankly, Bradley didn’t want you to - all he wanted right now was to keep kissing you, keep pressing his chest against yours, keep grabbing at your hips over your shirt. Except that soon wasn’t enough. 

He slipped his hand underneath your shirt and went straight for your lace bra. He smiled against your lips. Good girl. You wore his favorite one. His hand slid lower to drag his fingers across the soft skin of your stomach and side. God, you were so warm. So soft. But he couldn’t linger on the spot for too long after you pushed his hand away and gestured for him to get up.

Without separating yourselves for too long, you and Bradley made your way from making out on his dining table chair to making out on the couch. You were on your back, half wedged between the back cushion, and entirely under Bradley’s bulk. 

God, had he missed this. Touching you, kissing you, holding you, fucking you. You’d already talked for hours, now he wanted to kiss you for them. 

The couch felt ten times more inviting with you now than it had earlier in the evening when it had just been Bradley. Because now he had you underneath him with your head on the throw pillows he had made note of earlier, now the candles on the coffee table were lit and were the perfect complement to your perfume, and now the cashmere blanket he had always loved was half draped over you both.

This was where you’d watch movies together at night, where you’d open Christmas presents, where you’d ride him after a long day at work, where you’d have meals with the news on in the background, where your kids would watch TV. 

“I love you,” you rasped against his lips. “I love you so much.”

“Love you, love you, love you,” he repeated.

It could have been twenty minutes or an hour later, but now the two of you were just laying side by side on the couch. You were wrapped in Bradley’s arms, nestled against his chest, where you had been pressing little kisses against his neck for the last five minutes. Occasionally, you’d play with the ends of his hair or drag your finger across the scars on his neck. 

Bradley pressed a light kiss to your temple. “This has been really nice, thank you. I’ve never had someone to come home to - not like this.”

You tilted your head up and bit your lip, looking adorably flustered. “I always want to be here when you come home. And I wanted to do something nice for you, make you happy.”

“You made me very happy, always do.”

“Always, huh?” you teased. You kissed his neck. Nipped at his neck. 

Bradley mimicked your tone. “Well, not when I saw the way you put the mail on the hall table…” 

“You gonna punish me?” There was a little glint in your eyes as you said it.

While the idea had plenty of merit, Bradley didn’t want that tonight, he wanted everything to be soft and slow, so he could really get his fill of you. Plus, you’d be so fucking tight for him, so responsive to his touch, he wanted to make that drag out as long as possible. He wanted you to babble, he wanted you to beg.

“Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow if you’re good for me?” He pinched your side and you let out a giggle and then suddenly sat up on the couch, almost startled.

“I should do the dishes, don’t want to leave them for too long. You can head upstairs, though.” You cupped his cheek and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You sure you don’t need any help?” he said the last word through a yawn. 

“Nope!” You smiled over your shoulder and headed off to the kitchen. “You’re off the hook. I’m gonna finish putting these in the dishwasher and lock-up while you go upstairs and get ready, okay?”

Bradley scrunched his nose. “Is this gonna be a normal thing? You doing all the housework? Because that’s not gonna slide, roomie.”

“Oh, so I’m just your roommate now?” you teased. You bent over the dishwasher to put some larger plates in the back. “I see how it is, Bradshaw.”

He doubled back over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your back against his chest. “Got a feeling you’re gonna be my last one,” he murmured against your neck before he pressed kisses against it. 

It was like you melted against him. God, you smelled so pretty and tasted so pretty and looked so pretty and sounded so pretty giggling. And Bradley had never felt so welcomed home before. He couldn’t wait to do this with you every night. 

“Bradley,” you sighed and turned around to face him. “The sooner you let me finish, the sooner I can come upstairs…” You pecked him on the lips. 

Upstairs. Where Bradley would take care of you. 

Take care of you. Take you. Take you take you take you -

He groaned and gave you a longer kiss. “Okay, okay, okay.” He kissed you between each word. “But this is the last time you’re getting away with this...”

“I’ll hold you to it.” You kissed him again. “Now go! Get into something comfortable, powder your nose, touch up your hair -”

“I’m going, I’m going,” he promised. “Don’t be too long, we can always do everything tomorrow morning.”

You waved him off good-naturedly and went about setting the kitchen to rights. Bradley smiled at the sight of you already appearing so at home in his house - your house and headed upstairs. With startling alacrity despite the numerous drinks he’d had and the late hour, Bradley quickly brushed his teeth, did his skincare routine, and turned down the bed for your arrival. 

Even a floor apart, he could still hear the sounds of you puttering around downstairs. If he concentrated really hard, he could imagine exactly what you were doing. 

You had just opened the silverware drawer, probably had just washed and dried something - oh right, he had noticed you used the hand-wash-only salad tongs for the asparagus. Then you opened the tupperware cabinet and got out some snapware and eventually opened the freezer, putting the leftover chicken piccata away for another meal. Then there was the sound of the cake plate on the granite countertop and more snapware. He was still surprised you hadn’t eaten much cake, much of any of the food really, but chalked it up to nerves or excitement at his homecoming.

With a sigh, Bradley laid back against the fluffy pillows lining the headboard. God, he had missed this. His high thread count sheets, your fancy Laundress detergent, his side of the bed - and more importantly, you being on the other side. He stretched and let out a groan, getting comfortable. 

This was perfect. He was home - in the house you now shared. You were going to come upstairs - probably in some cute little outfit - and give him a proper welcome home. Bradley bet you even got a new matching set just for the occasion. The two of you had gotten all the tough conversations out of the way - for the most part - so now you could really enjoy these next few days together before your trip. 

And Bradley was so excited to go to Punta Mita with you. You had done such an amazing job planning everything. He had done some additional research on his flight home earlier and definitely wanted to hit up the spa and maybe sneak in a round of golf over the ten day trip. Plus, you definitely had the cutest fucking outfits planned. He always liked that, imagining what you were wearing while he was gone. The sporadic pictures hadn’t been enough. You always looked so pretty and he always needed to tell you. 

Pretty, pretty, pretty. His pretty girlfriend. Downstairs, making sure everything was all set. He yawned. Mmmmm, he hoped you’d be upstairs soon. His eyelids were getting heavy. 

And it was so warm and comfy and his stomach was full and everything smelled so good and he was here. 

Finally, he was here with you. 

In your house, talking about your future. 

Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a few minutes. Maybe if he just took a quick nap…

a/n - sorry for the cliff hanger, but it's the PERFECT spot for a break! next part will have that first night back AND the lead up to their trip, which will be in the final part! couldn't have gotten this done without all the encouraging messages and texts over the last few weeks - special shout out to @sometimesanalice @callsignspark @notroosterbradshaw @ofstoriesandstardust @cherrycola27 @heartsofminds and @greenorangevioletgrass xxjordan

[flokali]

I'm such a sucker for ayato like you don't have a clue LMAO. I just want him to be like, "Oh well it's a surprise to see you my love." And you're just seething sitting on the floor in front of his little desk with your hands bound behind you and maybe even a gag in your mouth. While he like goes on about his day, maybe have him brush a piece of hair out of your face.

Ayatos so ugghhh i can just imagine so many scenarios with him omg

Ayato brainrot… *bark bark* Like, you don’t understand; I am… obsessed with him T_T)) This ask has him and one of my favorite [REDACTED] too, nonnie ily

Ask under read more!

The worst part about it is how he acts as if this was all perfectly normal and acceptable, as if your bound and gagged figure wasn’t an anomaly, as if this wasn’t something out of the ordinary. As if every Lord in the world had their self-proclaimed lover bound and forced into submission next to their desk as they filed paperwork.

Maybe if he outwardly showed how much he enjoyed your helplessness, if he didn’t bother to disguise his amusement, if he simply boasted about how much it excited him to see your tear stained face as you begged him to at least grant you an ounce of dignity, you would have an easier time hating him and reminding yourself how twisted Ayato truly was. But no, instead he chose to feign concern, whispering lies coated with just enough sweetness to have you momentarily doubting yourself and if you truly did remember the man as he truly was, he’d ramble on about how much he hated seeing you like this, how it hurt him to see you hurting. It was in moments like those where you questioned if the silks that dug into your skin were real and not just mere illusions you bestowed upon yourself; you always hated his silver tongue and you hated him more because of it.

However, he does let his act down every once in a while and allows himself to indulge in the cruelties you both knew resided in his heart.

He’d let certain comments slip past his lips, touch you in ways that let you know how much he truly adored seeing you like this.

Instead of the usual hello, he’d jest with you - as if you hadn’t been stuck in the room for two days now, tied still just for him - he’d feign innocent surprise at seeing you. Ayato didn’t even hesitate to sit down next to you and neither did he stumble as he grasped your teary face and gave you a deep kiss on the lips, to him - this was natural, loving you like this was natural. He didn’t mind the way you didn’t reciprocate his kisses with the same intensity, what mattered to him was the fact you were there to be kissed by him in the first place.

“So beautiful,” he’d whisper, caressing your face, he didn’t care you were shaking from anger and disgust, he never cared, “and all mine.”

He would then turn around, ignoring your glare - “It’s not very intimidating when you’re bound like that, beloved”, he once joked - as he read through the reports submitted to him. He’d periodically outstretch a hand towards you and pet your head like one would a dog, maybe even coo at the way you would try to get away only to fall and have the binds dig into your skin, but never once did he move to free you.

It only got worse during his lunch time where he’d have the food delivered to you both so he could hand-feed you, Ayato knew how helpless it’d made you feel, and no matter how much you would initially resist - food was a necessity after all.

At this point, you were no more than a living doll for Ayato to play with and pamper; and he loved every second of it.

[sakuraoora]

Hey, so, for the "Tonight the music seems so loud" event, can I recommend Unconditionally by Katy Perry, specifically, "I will love you unconditionally" or Lonely by This side of paradise ("If you're lonely come be lonely with me") with Scaramouche? Kinda... hurt/comfort esqu.

IF YOU'RE LONELY COME BE LONELY

WITH ME <3

Ships. Scaramouche x Reader

Warnings. Scaramouche backstory spoilers, angst → fluff, Scaramouche is down bad af for reader, reader is a fatui member. Might get some points wrong, not written the best for this idea, unfortunately 🥲

LINK TO THE 200 FOLLOWER EVENT

Notes. Hi Anon! Thanks for submitting ^^. I hope you like it! I also included some other lyrics from “Lonely,” so I hope that works out! I’ve been waiting for the inspo to write some Scaramouche backstory angst so… :)

The text in quotation marks + italics are from the song lonely by the other side of paradise

“Ask me why my heart's inside my throat

“I've never been in love, I've been alone

“Feel like I've been living life asleep…”

Purple eyes blinked themselves awake to an empty, stone room.

"Are you lonely?"

A nameless young puppet, not yet having a gender, felt a warm hand clasped with their cold one. They looked up to see his creator, a beautiful woman with long purple hair like theirs, but her hair was braided down her back. Her purple kimono was spotless, despite being out most of the time.

As he sank into deep sleep, the last thing he remembered was the warm hand no longer being there, the electro branding at his chest throbbing.

“Are you lonely?”

The nameless puppet, now Kunikuzi, had cut his hair and walked aimlessly in Inazuma City before encountering a boy who introduced himself as Kaedehara [REDACTED] and took him in. He learned that the Kaedehara boy was a blacksmith that made the most excellent weapons of the finest caliber in Inazuma. There, the Kaedehara boy became Kunikuzi’s best-- and only-- friend.

But then, the Kaedehara boy cast him aside after learning about who he really was, just as he would’ve any scrap piece of metal.

“Our fingers dancing where they meet,”

A small boy approached him, his hair, although he appeared very young, was gray. The boy held his hand out to Kunikuzi, and he returned it, touching his cold fingers against the boy’s young ones.

“You seem so lonely…”

Kunikuzi laughed. The boy brought out the best in him, and so, in return, he sewed a small doll, one that looked much like him, and gave the doll to the little boy, who called him “Kuni.”

That doll reminded Kunikuzi of himself. Only, this little doll would be loved and cared for by this little boy.

“Are you lonely?”

Kunikuzi walked briskly back to his home with the boy-- or hut, whichever you’d like to call it-- with an armful of lavender melons, which would be today’s dinner. Kuni wondered what he’d do when he went home… maybe he’d tell a story to the boy, or--

Kunikuzi’s train of thought shattered when he opened his door. The boy lay on the ground in a pile of sakura blossoms, and in his cold, unclenched hand, held his doll, which shed a tear.

“I’ll be the only dream you seek…”

Kunikuzi stoned his heart, a single tear falling down his face. He lit the abode that he lived in and loved so much, and walked away, the stench of burning wood and flesh filling the air, filling him with tears.

“So if you’re lonely, no need to show me…”

Kunikuzi, who now was Scaramouche after he cast away his past life and name, joined the Fatui. There wasn’t a spare smile for him to share now, not a tear that could be shed for anyone.

But at least he was ready to receive a gnosis now, brimming with divine power…

“If you’re lonely then come be lonely with me.”

You were his new secretary. One that he did not ask for AT ALL, but the Tarista had assigned you to him… so he couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t deny that once in a while, he felt like an invisible force tugged at the sides of his mouth, just a little bit. Barely noticeable, and just a single crack compared to the vast, desolate landscape of his heart.

“Lonely… (are you lonely?)”

He’d finally did it.

He’d finally absorbed the electro archon’s gnosis. But he still felt a certain longing for something that he couldn’t quite place his hand on. A certain… emptiness. One that he thought would be filled by the gnosis, but was still left empty.

The crack in his heart widened, and a stray ray of sunshine peaked into his heart for the first time in a long time.

“Passion is crashing as we speak…”

You found him one night in Sumeru completely by accident. You had found a nice stargazing area and were staring at the stars when you were on a mission to Sumeru to accompany Il Dottore, because you’d been reassigned to be under his command after Scaramouche left the fatui.

A rustle sounded nearby, putting you on alert. You drew your weapon, but when a familiar figure stepped out of the forest, you immediately put it away.

“Scaramouche?”

“You seem so lonely… (are you lonely?)”

Scaramouche looked at you in shock. “What are you doing here?”

“You’re the ground my feet won’t reach…”

“I’m here… accompanying Il Dottore… sir,” you stammered, at a loss of words. The stars in the night sky twinkled as the two of you stared at each other.

“You don’t need to use honorifics anymore. After all, I’m not your superior or even a part of the fatui anymore,” he said, looking up into the sky that he knew was all a lie. Yet… there was something magical about being here, under the stars, no matter how fake they were.

“So if you’re lonely,”

Looking at you, Scaramouche knew what he felt was missing.

He was missing you.

“Darling, you’re glowing…”

Looking at Scaramouche, there was something about him that felt very different, yet one that you still couldn’t quite place. Scaramouche grabbed your hand, and you felt the aura shift.

“If you’re lonely, come be lonely with me.”

What? You thought, your mind racing. Your heart beat faster and heavier, as well as starting to grow tunnel vision.

“Scaramouche… he likes… me?” You wondered, unintentionally saying it aloud as Scaramouche snickered at your expression.

“You do realize you said that aloud, right?” He said, cracking a smile that you’d never seen before.

“Underneath the pale moonlight, dreaming of a circus life…”

Your shocked face gave it away, blushing hard and looking away from him.

“I… like you too.”

“Carousels and Ferris lights, I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine…”

“…[NAME], instead of calling me Scaramouche, please call me… Kunikuzi.”

“‘Cause I’m lonely, I’m so lonely, if you hold me, I’ll be your only…”

The next day, Dottore checked your tent only to find it empty. He laughed, wondering what could’ve possibly dragged you away from the fatui, even knowing how severe the punishment for leaving without permission was. Like Superior, like subordinate, he supposed.

Meanwhile, you were staring at the purple haired boy sitting next to you, a smile bubbling up onto your face as you conversed with Scaramo--... no, Kunikuzi.

He was truly beautiful when he smiled.

“Are you lonely? (Are you lonely?)”

Wandering the lands with you, Scaramouche felt whole and complete. Sure, he was a wanted criminal in probably 5 out of the seven nations, but his time with you felt well spent. He no longer felt that nagging feeling, and no longer felt so lonely.

“Our fingers dancing where they meet,”

Scaramouche firmly held your hand in his as you sat down by a beach you happened to be nearby, watching the sky turn from shades of brilliant, scarlet red like autumn leaves to a dark purple like Kunikuzi’s hair.

“You seem so lonely (Are you lonely?)”

No longer did Scaramouche look at humans with nothing but fury. This time, he felt… compassion, and attachment.

The gods still angered him at the slightest thought, but you assured him that he needs time to come into acceptance with his past.

“I'll be the only dream you seek,”

You smiled as you pulled Scaramouche along.

“Come on, silly. We don’t want to miss Yoimiya’s fireworks tonight!”

Scaramouche picked up the pace as he followed you to a cliff to watch the fireworks, the multicolored sparks illuminating the night sky. Every thought left him as he was enraptured by your smile, and the way your hair was lit up by the fireworks. You were truly stunning, and captivated his whole attention.

“So if you're lonely, no need to show me… if you're lonely, come be lonely with me”

REBLOGS HELP MORE THAN LIKES!

TAGLIST. (send an ask to be added!)

@teyvattales @ghost9878

[sukirichi]

Breakfast: ingredient 64 + sugar 5 for inumaki

Okay, but like- what about inumaki's first kiss? His mouth is a very sensitive area and his first kiss would be a very intimate act, so here's what happens: reader and him are mutually pining BUT all everyone else sees is the sexual tension between them.

Somehow itadori manages to lock them in a dark small space, where they share their first kiss, yet they don't speak about it and to each other for a long time. At some point itadori (i swear this kid is a matchmaker) points out how y/n and toge can't even glance at each other and inumaki breaks. Late at night he shows up at reader's dorm, pins her to the wall and kisses her like no tomorrow. After they eventually have a rough make out with toge's shirt coming off, they lay on her bed where reader tells him she really likes him and he grabs her chin to stop her rambling and she looses it when she sees so much love and lust swirling in his eyes (they maybe have a third make out round 👀) and in the end they come to the conclusion they love each other and that they should have acted sooner on it.

I don't know if make outs count as nsfw and i read that you can write only sfw for inumaki, so it's okay if you can't complete this request. Just let me know you if can't.

Also get prepared to be spoiled spammed with asks.

— 🍰 strawberry shortcake anon

delicate

the first kiss with inumaki toge is as delicate as he is.

meal order: ★🥞 + 64 (canon au) + 5 (mutual pining) + sensitive first kiss with inumaki, them trapped in a room + yuuji as matchmaker uwu + WALL PIN KISS YES SIR + basically hot af inumaki

warnings: nothing really, just make out sessions and implications of smut, also UH soft dom inumaki toge, i guess? unedited as always

song i listened to while writing: I.F.L.Y. by Bazzi

note: 🍰 anon TYSM for this request, my heart was legit doki doki the whole time. this totally reminds me of why inumaki was my first crush and he’s the reason i came to watch jjk lol i love him so much <3 i hope this is what you’ve been looking for and that you like it! i had a lot of fun writing this one!

“Yuuji, don’t!” You tried to scramble against the strawberry haired boy’s grip, but he was far too strong, and it didn’t help that Nobara’s riled up self was helping him push you back inside the storage room. “Yuuji, Nobara, I’m your senpai, have some respect—” You don’t get to finish your words before you’re pushed inside, landing on the floor with a thud.

“Yuuji!” You banged your fists on the door once you’ve recovered, screaming at the top of your lungs. From outside the door, you heard the underclassmen giggle and run away, leaving you with your crush, Inumaki Toge, of all people.

Falling down into a squat, you wrapped your arms around yourself, refusing to look at him. You were only thankful that it was dark so Toge wouldn’t see how your pupils blew wide, your body responding at the soft scent of his perfume and laundry detergent. He’d been your crush for who knows how long now, and your first memory of meeting the cursed speech user burns at the back of your mind to remind you that it’s been years, and yet you’ve barely spoken to him.

Unlike the other students, your cursed technique wasn’t the most useful in combat. Your technique allowed you to nullify the abilities of others, but the downside of it was that it didn’t have much advantage against curses, so you had to rely on your physical strength to exorcise.

On the bright side, though…

“So,” Toge begins, shuffling away from the dusty wall and closer to you. Your heartbeat raced when his knees brushed against yours, thighs pressed against one another. “You’re a victim of them too.”

“Hmm, guess so.”

Neither of you speak for a while. Toge himself wasn’t much of a talker, and he barely batted an eye when Maki and Panda hauled his ass inside the storage room. He was so calm and placid that your mind was in mess – both because you were comfortable and happy in his presence, but at the same time, your palms were so sweaty and the room was so stuffed you could barely breathe. It didn’t help that Toge was humming too, reassured that he wasn’t going to hurt you with his powers.

“Uhm,” you started nervously, fiddling with your fingers. The silence stretched out thick and cordial that you couldn’t bear it anymore, and you turned to Toge with wide eyes, blinking back rapidly when he faced you as well, his deep purple eyes like a painting before you. “Do-do you know why we’re locked in here?”

Your palms grew wetter with each ticking second; Toge taking his time to answer.

Nobara had eavesdropped on you gushing to Megumi on how Toge looked so cute during breakfast this morning, and the girl immediately ran off to tell her best friend, Yuuji; the two of them sharing the same braincells.

Before you knew it, everyone split into two groups, your classmates dragging Toge away while Nobara and Yuuji manhandled you, hissing into your ear to man up and fess.

As if it was as easy as that! Inumaki Toge – albeit approachable and kind – was still the light of your life, the apple of your eye, and he barely acknowledged your presence the whole two years you’ve been with him. He was much closer with Maki and Panda while you got along more with the younger ones (although you wouldn’t hesitate to redact that statement after doing this to you), so the chances of you ever striking up a full conversation with him were low.

You only admired him from afar, sighing dreamily into your hands while he trained with Panda. Megumi seemed to be the only decent one, silent and bored as ever while you rambled on tirelessly on how much Toge looked so buff under his uniform yet had the face baby, stating over and over again he was born just to drive you crazy.

You should’ve known someone would find out one way or another, but heavens forbid, not him. The both of you were barely friends to begin with – you didn’t want to shatter whatever mutual respect you had for each other just because you crushed on him hard.

Mind running back and forth over the different ways Toge could reject you, because obviously someone had told him, or obviously he knew already – why else would he be locked here with you if your friends didn’t know something? It was getting hard to read his face from the darkness; the only thing you could make out were his long lashes and lips visible with his collar down.

“I don’t know, to be honest,” he avoided your gaze, and you swallowed audibly at the sound of his husky voice; unused to speaking this much. “But…but we’ve got nothing to worry about. Gojo-Sensei or Nanamin will come around soon.”

“Okay,” you nodded at his words, cursing inwardly that this was your perfect chance to confess or at least try and be friends with him, but your whole body was burning, feet frozen in your place that you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You watched from the corner of your eye as Toge rocked back and forth in his heels, cheeks puffed out, and your eyes zeroed in on the snake tattoo beside his lips.

Toge rarely ever let his collar down to muffle his voice, so seeing him expose his lips like this almost felt intimate. He looked so pretty, long lashes fluttering on top of those warmed cheeks and strong arms wrapped around his knees.

He was just an arm’s length away. This was the closest you’d ever gotten with him, and maybe it was because you’d kept your feelings a secret for so long that it suddenly burst through. Faster than you could take notice of yourself, your arm reached out to cup his cheeks, thumb swiping against the tattoos. “Pretty,” you murmured, Toge stiffening up under your touch.

His eyes skewed over to yours, wide and unreadable, but there was something there – something burning. He had to bite down his cheek as you caressed his face absentmindedly, and it wasn’t until his fingers came up to your wrist that you realized what you were doing.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, the warmth of his skin now searing because of your embarrassment. “Toge – I-I didn’t mean to – I’m so sorry! It’s just, your tattoos look so pretty and I’ve always—”

Your words are thrown right back into your mouth when Toge tugged you forward, sending the both of you toppling to the ground. Toge’s hands were delicate, just as delicate as your touch, when he cupped your face, his lips moving with yours. You were stunned for a moment before pleasure and fireworks exploding everywhere burst within you, prompting you to kiss him back in urgent fervor.

Toge’s lips tasted like candy, his sighs into your mouth melting your insides until you’re crumpling his shirt, eyes shut so tight in fear that maybe this would all disappear the moment you opened them.

Your hands travelled everywhere – from his shoulders, to his neck, his jaw – before it settled into his hair, the satisfaction of finally getting to run your hands through them has you weakening in his hold. Toge keeps his grip on your waist firm, almost possessive even, and he held you up both, sitting up while your arms wound around his neck.

A curse must’ve possessed you because you moaned into his mouth when he nipped at your bottom lip, tugging it inside his mouth so he could taste your cherry chapstick.

He wasn’t in a better state than yours. As the cursed speech user, his mouth was one of his most sensitive parts, and it took all energy it had in him to not kiss you senseless right then and there, your lips swiping over his mouth in such a mind-numbing sensation.

It felt like his body was on fire, the heat licking up from his toes to right where you were pressed on him. Your lips on his was scorching, the soft sighs and moans you gave him only adding to the fuel.

Toge groaned as your nails subconsciously pulled at his hair, making him grind you down into the V of his lips, pressing your chest firms against his until there was no more space. Through the darkness and nearly airless atmosphere of the room, Toge still managed to take your breath away, your lips moving in synch and you were falling, falling, falling.

He effortlessly held your weakening arms up before he pulled away, both your chests panting at the sudden heated kiss. His eyes trailed down from your lust-filled gaze to the bow of your lips, where the flesh was plump and abused.

Toge’s thumb swiped over your lips that had you frozen solid because he looked at you so gently, delicately, almost as if he didn’t want to hurt you. But he never could – you nullified everyone’s powers and allowed him freedom in your space. You’d let him come again and again, welcoming him with open arms if he wanted so, and in that moment, you believed he did.

Although why would he want you?

Fears and insecurities struck a chord in you and you scrambled away from his lap, leaving Toge all alone in the ground. You ducked your head down to ignore the confused and hurt expression on his face, turning back to the door instead. “I’m so sorry,” you rasped out in one breath, “I-I didn’t mean for that kiss to happen and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Please just forget this ever happened and I really wish you and I aren’t awkward for this. Okay, good night. See you around.”

Pulling your phone out of your pocket after cursing yourself for not thinking of texting Megumi sooner, you speed dialed the younger boy, begging him to unlock the door.

Megumi came around a few minutes later. Toge had long settled behind you, silent but still catching his breath from your previous lip-locking. His presence unnerved you and you rubbed your hands up and down your arms, praying to whoever divines self that Toge would forget about this as well. The moment Megumi came around, you leaped out of the room, leaving two confused boys – with one of them unknowingly shattered.

The next few days were hell.

You and Toge hadn’t talked much at all before, but now, you both pretended as if the other didn’t existed. During class where there had to be pairings, you immediately sided with Maki and pushing Panda to Toge’s way, the latter frowning behind his collar every time you avoided his gaze.

You just couldn’t handle being anywhere near him after that kiss. You feared that your heart would combust and you’d further embarrass yourself in front of him, as if you weren’t embarrassing enough with how excited you were as you kissed him.

Gosh, what would Toge think of you now?

You bet he found you so weird, and your suspicions were only confirmed when he’d resorted to avoiding you as well. No more polite and cheery good mornings! in the hallway or asking what he had for lunch, no more random texting of memes at 3am because you both didn’t have friends outside the institute.

Pure silence from the other side.

It should’ve comforted you – you wanted to stay away from him, right? – but you only grew restless. Your focus dwindled with each passing day, finding yourself at the back of Toge’s head longingly when he wasn’t looking, then sighing as you chastised yourself from being stupid.

To be honest, that kiss only made your feelings multiply tenfold.

Now that you knew how warm and comfortable Toge was to the touch, how his lips tasted and how his hair felt under your touch �� you crushed on him impossibly harder than before.

You reached a point where you tossed and turn around in bed, unable to fall asleep; completely unaware that just a few doors down, he was doing the same. It had you thinking back to that day all over again, wondering why did he kiss you? If he liked you, why did he never talk to you? He never even noticed you before and you were always the first one to strike conversation, but because the others were always around, chats were limited, one-worded, and awkward.

That cursed technique of yours was still useless, after all.

“Would you please stop moping around?” Megumi slammed his book down on the table next to you, and you jumped in your seat, clutching your pencil to your chest. “I’m tired of you eye-fucking Inumaki-senpai.”

“Wha – ? No, I wasn’t, what are you talking about?”

“You’ve both been acting weird,” observed Yuuji who stopped fighting with Nobara over who would win in an arm wrestling fight without special abilities: Gojo-Sensei or Nanami. Nobara nodded beside him, stealing Yuuji’s crisp chips before speaking. “You both can’t even glance at each other. All of us can feel that something’s wrong between you two.”

“They probably fucked in the storage room.”

“Nobara, keep your voice down!”

“Why should I?” she smirked, jabbing her thumb to an asleep Toge lounging on the field with Panda. “Your precious crush is asleep. He won’t know. But whatever, what did happen when we locked you both there?”

“You all humiliated me, that’s what happened!”

“What do you mean humiliated?” Megumi asked this time around, and you buried your face in your arms, glancing over at Toge again. He was slumbering peacefully, his body shaded from the sun under the tree, and your fingertips itched with the urge to hold him close again.

“He doesn’t like me,” you concluded with trembling lips, sending one last longing glance at Toge. “And I think I just absolutely ruined everything.”

No matter how much your underclassmen tried to cheer you up, your spirits were never lifted. You trudged back to your room that night, tired and drained from all the events that you just buried your nose in your textbook, studying about curses for next week’s exams.

The words began to blur and you sighed on your seat, glancing at your phone. It was nearing midnight and the dorms were oddly quiet, but you guessed everyone just had a long day.

Soon, you brushed your teeth and moved to retire for the night when three soft knocks came from your door. Your hand stilled on your blanket, brows furrowed at who could it be this time of the night. After fixing your hair to make yourself presentable, you swung the door open, ready to hit Yuuji if he came here to drag you down to the movie room and force you to watch horror movies again when you were harshly pushed, the stranger kicking the door back.

You gasped as warm lips came crashing down to yours, your hands pinned above your hand with just one arm.

You didn’t have to open your eyes to know it was Toge who’d placed a knee between your legs to prevent you from falling; your knees already turning to jelly before you even registered it was him. The familiar taste of something sweet like candy and cough syrup coated your senses and you moaned in his arms as his hands ran under your shirt, making the hairs on your body prickle up in anticipation.

Toge took advantage of your moan, his tongue slipping inside before it clashed with yours. It was too much – his overwhelming scent, his tongue tasting yours, his hands squeezing your breasts tenderly – you were on the verge of falling apart.

Fire burned all over your body, pure instinct dominating your conscious mind as you pushed him back, Toge falling down with you scrambling above him.

He grunted at your sloppy actions of trying to tug his shirt over his head, but he complied, reaching up at the same time you leant down for another wet, heated kiss. The kiss this time around was far less gentle and more urgent; your mutual pining for one another tipping over the edge until all hell broke loose.

You settled into his lap as if it were a throne and he encouraged you to take it, to claim him because he considered you the queen of his world.

“Toge, I,” you rambled after every peck, unable to form a complete sentence because you kept wanting to kiss him. It was nearly impossible to pull away now that he held you so close, making you feel like home and driving you absolutely insane. “I can’t do it anymore, mmhm, I want you so much – always have – I don’t want to avoid you and I just want to—”

He stopped your rambling by grabbing your chin forwards, his lips molding over yours again and dancing with it like two perfectly syncopated performers.

Toge’s curious hands ravished every crevice and dip of your curves as he sucked on your tongue, tasting it fervently like a traveler memorizing his path. You shuddered when Toge’s nimble fingers travelled down to cup your ass to lift you upwards, pushing you closer and deeper into his mouth.

None of you cared about anything anymore. You could barely focus on anything but letting your hands roam free down his chest, Toge rutting up to you when your cold hands brushed over his nipple.

Needing air to breathe, you pulled away first, panting as your forehead pressed against his. You stared at each other, lips swollen and wet from the hot make-out session. You were sure that your adoration for him was clearly evident in your eyes, that your feelings for him sparkled and radiated like the bright sunshine’s warmth he always made you feel.

But that wasn’t what drove you crazy.

It was the fact his expression mirrored yours; only his had lust swirling around his dark eyes, an unexplainable plethora of emotions flooding through them. You were breathing hard and so was he, his soft pants warming your lips that were still sore from his hungry ministrations.

Now was the time.

It didn’t matter that maybe he didn’t feel the same way for you; you liked him so much. Your feelings poured over the glass and your eyes glossed over with how your heart frantically chanted his name, wanting nothing and no one else but him.

“I love you,” you confessed, “I fucking love you.”

To your surprise, Toge chuckled, pulling you forward until his chest was flushed against yours. He captured your lips for one last kiss, delicate this time around as his hands cupped your jaw. You tilted your hide to the side to deepen the kiss, and you sighed while Toge rubbed soothing circles at the sides of your jaw then down to your neck.

“You better,” he mumbled through your lips, “Because I fucking love you too, and I don’t want to play this game of push and pull anymore.”

It was your first time to hear such dominance in his words, to witness such need and possessiveness shine back through his eyes, his lips travelling to the sides of your face. Submissively, you arched your back to him and allowed him access to your neck, head lolling to the side. Even as Toge slowly but surely left little love bites to mark you as his, he was gentle and delicate, soft yet hard, bitter but sweet like the longing you had for one another.

Even as he had you trapped under his arms, his heat nestled into the deeper, intimate parts of you that only welcomed no one else but him; your lover was absolutely delicate.

And you only fell for him harder than you already have.

[messenger-of-stupidity]

After Love is Gone

Heheh I wrote genuine angst again. It’s been a while since I did that.

CW: Imp!Damien x Imp!Angel (if you’ve watched the imperium damien videos, you already know what to expect. Spoilers will be here.), cursing, arguing

Redacted Masterlist

Ao3 Link

Read below cut.

Angel pressed shaking fingers to their lips, stopping just short of actually touching them. Their eyes were staring blankly at the window and the moon that shown outside of it. Damien was pacing along the floor, ranting about something or other that had happened that he was upset about. Angel couldn't honestly care. Once upon a time they listened to his words, enraptured by the way his tone would fluctuate when he grew more passionate or wanted to press meaning onto specific words. They dropped their hand, still looking out the window. It didn't matter to them if Damien noticed their lack of attention. The world was ending and he was angry about the peasants or something. Angel couldn't understand how he didn't get that none of it mattered anymore. They leaned back to press their back onto the bed, their gaze falling up towards the ceiling instead. A feeling of vertigo swept through them and they closed their eyes, letting the spinning feeling sweep them away.

How many times had they done that? During the late nights where Damien's warmth felt more feverish than comforting, the nights where that was the only movement they were allowed to have as magic held on tightly to their body? Far too often. They had always thought that they would be the ones to tell their friends if their friends were in a toxic relationship. They had been the person to point out a bad relationship the earliest when it came up on TV dramas. And yet here they lay, only their mind being theirs while everything else belonged to the King Imperial. Consort. They reminisced from when they used to just be known as Damien's partner. They preferred being his unempowered partner than what they were now.

"Are you listening?" Damien's agitated voice pulled them out of their thoughts. Their eyes slowly opened again and propped themselves up on their forearms, a response already on their tongue. Not even their words were theirs anymore. They were tailored to whatever Damien wanted them to say, or to be nothing at all. They hated those moments, where his magic had a grip on their throat and they could only cry silently as he enjoyed the quiet. He didn't see anything wrong with it anymore. When he had first started stealing from them with his magic, he had felt guilty after a few hours. Now it was his given right to take from them. They regarded him quietly and he repeated his question. "I said, are you listening? Answer me." Not even a please.

"No." They said instead and their heartbeat picked up in speed as he frowned at them. They didn't care if he got upset at them for not listening. He didn't get upset if they lied, as long as the lie suited them. Great, he had also taken a good portion of their morals from them. They sat up fully and smiled down at their hands. Why were they smiling? There wasn't anyone to fool anymore. "Damien, can I ask you something please?" They asked softly. He sighed but sat down beside them, leaning back on his palms.

"Fine, if you must. What is it?" He asked. At least he still gave them the time of day. How long until that was gone too?

"When are you going to keep your promise for unempowered?" They asked. It was an age-old question at this point, and the frustrated groan that Damien emitted proved it. But this wasn't like the times before. This wasn't just checking for an update anymore. They didn't believe any of the updates. Not anymore. No, this was checking to see if anything was salvageable at this point. Because even after everything he had stolen from them, they still loved him. They still felt their heart flutter when he cupped their face gently in his warm hands, when he pressed a kiss to the apple of their cheeks.

"We've been over this already. The answer isn't going to fucking change." There it was. Confirmation. It didn't hurt as much as the fact that Angel wasn't surprised by the answer. They should have been surprised. They should have been upset that it was just another lie. But they weren't. Their heart gave a painful squeeze and tears gathered in their eyes as they bit down on their bottom lip. Their hands were still shaking. "Are you crying?" Damien asked and he sounded irritated by it. He didn't care if he was the cause of the tears anymore. He used to care how Angel looked at him. "I thought you wanted to have good nights." He added. Angel stood up and walked away from him, wrapping their arms around themself in an effort to self-soothe. They had no expectations that Damien would do it. He only got physical contact from them when he wanted it or decided that Angel wanted it. When they wanted space, he wanted to be in that space. When they wanted to be cradled within his arms, he would be too busy.

"I don't know anymore, Damien." They whispered. The room fell quiet bar the low buzz from the electricity. He stood up and walked towards them, hands going into his pockets.

"What do you mean?" He asked. Angel laughed as tears made little trails down their face.

"I mean what I said, Damien."

"What do you not know about?" He pressed.

"Everything. I don't know if I can be who you want me to be. I don't know if I can survive your love. I don't know if I can fucking stand you anymore. I don't know how I can love you." They said, their shaky voice raising as the dam for their emotions started to crack and fall apart. He stared at them, his brow furrowing before the corner of his jaw twitched and the temperature increased. Angel scuttled backwards, wary of the heat, their arms tightening around them. Their fingers curled inward as they gripped the fabric of the hoodie they wore. They missed the way his gaze used to flash with hurt when they did that. Now they only saw his frustration increase. Was he only angry nowadays?

"And what the hell do you mean by that?" He snapped. Angel sighed softly as they locked eyes with Damien.

"I don't love you anymore." They said. They saw the hurt and shock from the statement fill Damien's expression before it was replaced with anger. He moved towards them and they stayed still as he stopped a few inches from them. The wave of heat coming from him hit them and they felt their skin start to flush to combat against it. It didn't help that they were wearing their comfort clothing, not clothing made to specifically keep their body cool. They didn't back down though. They were done being meek.

"Stop lying." He said through gritted teeth. Even now he was trying to take the truth from Angel. They wouldn't let him.

"I'm not lying Damien. I don't love you anymore. I don't feel safe anymore. The world out there is falling apart and dying and you don't fucking care. You only care about holding on so tightly to your beloved fucking power. Well newsflash Damien, that power isn't going to mean shit when there's nothing left to rule over anymore. What are you going to do then? Are you going to go onto that damn balcony and survey the disaster you caused?" They were growing angry, but it felt good to let these emotions out. They didn't know how much longer they would be able to before the biggest imbalance between them and their lover came out to play. They could tell their words were hurting Damien and making him angrier. Good.

"You really wanna say that? You don't understand what power can do since you've never had any. And you want to know why you've never had any? It's not because I withheld it from you. It's because you don't fucking deserve it. You wouldn't know what to do with it. I do know what to do with it. You don't even know how you would go about changing what you so desperately want to. So don't act like it's so simple. You don't get it and you never will." Damien said, his voice raising with his temperature. It scared them, but it was also so freeing. No image-tracking. Just venting it all out. Except this time they wouldn't let it end with just continuing on like nothing ever happened. They weren't going to return to the life that was sucking everything out of them. They weren't going to be a husk to be manipulated like a marionette.

"I know I'm unempowered. You like reminding me a lot. But that doesn't mean I'm stupid. I'm not blind, like you are. I can see what's actually going on out there despite the fact you keep me locked up in this shitty cage you call a palace. I can see that whatever this is between us isn't working. You aren't willing to change anything and you aren't willing to let anyone try. You're such a... control freak! You have to control everything all of the time." They said and wiped this tears are with the back of their palms. Sweat had beaded up on their forehead, bridge of their nose, and above their upper lip. They took a step back from him, the heat combined with their vertigo making them dizzy and feel faint. Damien laughed cruelly and stepped away from them too, running his fingers through his hair.

"Oh spare me the pity. Does it look like I care if I'm a control freak? At least I'm able to control things, unlike someone else." It was an underhanded jab. Both of them knew why Angel couldn't control anything. It was a sore spot, and him pointing it was only hurting more each time.

"It's not pity. I don't feel anything for you Damien except contempt." They said, their voice lowering. Damien rolled his eyes, but he recognized the deflating. Angel wished they were able to do more. Argue more. But it was all moot points. Damien didn't have to care about what they said. He only had to wait until they made themselves tired, like a misbehaving toddler. A sob wracked their body and they fell to their knees, hands covering their face. They could hear Damien's footsteps pace a few times before he approached them and sat down in front of them. He pulled them towards him gently and Angel let him. They hated that they did, but comfort was comfort no matter the source.

"You know I love you right?" He said softly, his hand rubbing circles on their back as they clutched onto him tiredly. Their tear-filled gaze moved towards the moon again, the light blurry.

"This isn't love. Not anymore." They said back, their voice breaking. They felt him stiffen and tense, but they didn't care. "It used to be love, I know that. But that was before any of this. Before you were caring about the wrong things. When we were younger. Love is pure, kind, equal. This... this is a twisted dark form of love. If it can even be called that." They added in a whisper before closing their eyes. Their mind was made up. They were done with this. Damien held them throughout the night and well into the mid hours of the morning, but Angel's mind was made up and they were stubborn.

𓆩♡𓆪

Angel stared up at Damien from where they kneeled in the plaza. Their wrists were chained by magic behind their back. They were finally considered a threat, despite the fact they had no magic. They had spilled everything to the public, ruining the king's image. He wasn't someone who supported equality or change towards a better future. Advisors had tried to discredit Angel's claims by stating that they were just trying to get back at Damien because of an argument the two had gone through. The advisors had the facts right, but the timeline wrong. The argument had been a last straw, and Angel did want to get back at Damien. But it wasn't just because of the argument, it was because of everything that had happened that lead up to the argument.

Damien was looking down at them, panic and hurt in his gaze. No anger this time. They laughed bitterly. The Damien they knew now was a twisted form of what he had been. But so were they. They supposed this is what happened after love was gone. But that was okay. Because they were finally free. They said their piece and it would reach the right ears, even if the advisors' plan worked. They closed their eyes one last time. They let the vertigo sweep them away one last time. They never felt the sword hit their neck and they missed their head rolling as their body toppled down unceremoniously, blood pooling.

[dominimoonbeam]

for the redacted prompts 'there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you' with Darlin & Quinn

Thank you!!

Oh, darling Anon, I don't know if this was what you were hoping for but this is what happened. I hope you like it!

tw: Quinn. bad relationship. QUINN. blood and injury.

-

“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

The first time he said it, it made their heart beat faster. It made them feel important. No one had ever said anything like that to them before. It sounded like love.

They were barely more than a kid. Their parents had skipped town and they had nowhere to be—no one to go home to. They’d never been close with the pack.

They’d met Quinn and for a moment life had been better. They weren’t alone. They weren’t an outsider. Life was easy for Quinn and at first, like was easy with him too. They were safe. They were never without a roof or food. They were never without a friend.

Quinn liked having them at his side. They were a pair. A team.

They were in a blood club one night, shoulder to shoulder on a couch, when he said it. It came out of nowhere, said a little blood drunk and a little wistful. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, misfit.”

Darlin had laughed to hide the way their heart jumped in their chest, but Quinn smirked like he heard it and took another drink from his glass.

-

The second time he said it, they heard the edge in his voice more clearly.

Some of Quinn’s enemies had jumped Darlin. The fight had been ugly. Darlin didn’t go down easily and when Quinn got there, he’d almost killed someone. He’d picked Darlin up off the pavement with a smirk, enemies still screaming in pain behind them. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you,” he said.

Darlin realized that promise could be dangerous but just then it didn’t matter. Just then they felt good to have someone that cared, someone that didn’t leave them hanging.

-

The third time he said it, he had their blood on his lips and their hair clenched in his fist. Their skin was on fire. His teeth had torn through their shoulder before clamping down on their neck. He bit again and again, groaning against their skin.

It wasn’t the first time they’d fought. It wasn’t the first time he’d bit them. But it was worse than before. Darlin had tried to leave this time. Their head was so light from the blood loss that they couldn’t stand. They couldn’t shift. He held on to them, their skin cold everywhere but where his teeth ripped them apart. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you,” he whispered, hands bruising in their grip and arms like shackles around their chest.

-

The last time he said it, they knew he didn’t mean it. Not really. Because the only thing they wanted him to do for them was the only thing he refused to do—and that was stop. Stop touching them. Stop hurting them. Stop hurting others.

“You might as well ask me to die,” he spat.

Darlin stared at him, waiting.

Offense and outrage rippled across his features before he could hide it. “After everything I did for you, misfit…” he ground out. The stretch of rain-wet street between them wasn’t enough for either to be safe. If he ran, Darlin would chase. If Darlin blinked, he would end them. “You betrayed me. You did this to us.”

Darlin waited, shoulders loose and focus honed. They had loved him once. He had been their only family for a time.

“You don’t stand a chance,” he warned and Darlin wondered if it was mercy or fear in his voice. Both were so rare that they sounded the same. “You’re a fucking child compared to me.”

Darlin smiled then, flashing teeth of their own. “Maybe you should have considered that when you picked me up all those years ago, old man.”

Quinn bristled at the name and their tone. He moved first, just like Darlin had known he would.

He rushed forward to close the distance and Darlin shifted just before he did, snapping teeth into his skin. Again and again. He healed fast at first but the longer the fight went on, the more blood he lost, the slower the healing became. They both broke bones. They both shed blood.

When it was done, they were both half-dead on the pavement. Darlin wanted to sleep but they didn’t dare to close their eyes. They crawled to him on human hands and knees and when he tried to get away, they hugged him to their chest. They wrapped their arms and legs around him, their hand in his blood wet hair and their mouth to his temple. He snapped teeth at their neck but couldn’t quite get the angle.

“There was nothing I wouldn’t do for you,” Darlin whispered with his cruel conviction. Nothing they wouldn’t do to please him in the beginning. Nothing they wouldn’t do to stay with him when it had started to sour. And nothing they wouldn’t do to end him now that they saw the truth.

The sun rose and Darlin didn’t let go.