#it was the worst part of the evening tbh
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99% certain I contracted Covid from the nasty fully grown man who kept hocking loogies onto the INDOOR venue staircase 2 feet away from me at the Paramore concert I went to last week
All in between shotgunning Whiteclaws and lifting his shirt to rub his sweaty beer belly
#personal txt#men really have it all don’t they#Noah fence but that made me so glad I’m NOT into any kind of man at all#I could hear him spitting too it made me want to rip his fucking face off#anyway now I’m congested and hocking up phlegm but at least it was only super mild#I’m mad I got it 🙄🙄🙄🙄#literally my first time getting Covid at least it wasn’t from going to Walmart or some shit#how have men run the world this long 😭😭😭😭😭#it was the worst part of the evening tbh
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it's been 8 years and she's still down bad for her neighbor (who wouldn't)
and so there she is: Step 3 Athena! 🌙✨
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Step 1 & Step 2 here
(Infos about Athena in every steps except 4 below if you're interested)
(watch out it's long.)
Step 1 -
At 10, Athena is a very curious girl, somewhat nosey and a bit clumsy (main reason why she often has bandages). She likes puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing (but nothing that serious about that hobby yet). While she isn't very shy, she's still uneasy around people she doesn't know and moving to a new town isn't helping. She has trouble accepting changes, and this whole situation is a way too big change.
Athena is very close to her mom during step 1. Unfortunately for her, she doesn't really look like her that much and she's kind of bothered by that, especially because the person she obviously looks like, her "dad", isn't there. Not having a dad isn't really a huge problem for her, but Athena fears a little bit people's opinion on that subject: "Is it weird that I don't have a dad...?".
She's feeling sad and scared about moving out, as she has to get used to a completely different world (in her eyes). "At least I have my mom", she thinks. But if moving in Golden Grove was scary at first, meeting Qiu and Tamarack was a huge help for Athena to feel included.
She thinks Qiu, aka "Autumn", is funny but also a huge show-off, haha. She LOVES to tease Qiu. But Athena's also genuinely worried about Qiu sometimes, because that kid is a huge people-pleaser.
When it comes to Tamarack, man... Athena totally puts this girl on a pedestal. She thinks Tamarack is amazing and pretty. And should Tamarack say anything positive about Athena, you can be certain the latter will go crazy internally. At 10, Athena doesn't realize she actually has a huge crush on Tamarack yet, though.
Step 2 -
At 14, Athena became a sort of troublemaker, she barely cares about rules. She's not mean but she grew to be more blunt and direct than she was as a 10-year-old, this and her current appearance make her seem unapproachable. However she kept her soft side, a side that she ironically doesn't even keep that much hidden but that you still have to deserve. If at 10 she would often have bandages because of her clumsiness, at 14, it's mostly because she's reckless. Some things that remained are her love for puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing, in fact, she started to get interested in visual arts.
In fact, the tough side of her personality grew when her first group friends with Qiu and Tamarack slowly fell apart. She couldn't do anything to prevent that from happening, so she felt like she had to toughen up. But to be honest, she's becoming tired of being the sole link between them, she's barely trying to now. Maybe Qiu and Tamarack won't become friends again. She has to accept it... but maybe Athena still has troubles accepting changes, no matter how old she is, after all.
Despite all that, Athena still treats both of them nicely. She still teases Qiu whenever she can (watch out Athena, the teasing could backfire on you). Her worries about them are still present too, but for different reasons than in step 1. Even 4 years later, Athena still retrieve Qiu's lost papers because they would NOT do it themselves. No matter what, Autumn remains her dear friend and the feeling is mutual.
Tamarack, aka "Tam", is her best friend! ... and the girl she has a crush on, Athena realized it now. Athena doesn't know if Tam feels the same way or not, though. Athena still thinks Tamarack is the most amazing and most talented person out there, she wishes Tam could see it too. She's highly worried about Tamarack potentially leaving Golden Grove at any moment but she tries to hide it from Tamarack. "Tam probably has enough of people walking on eggshells with her", she thinks. Athena dislikes Tamarack's parents for not only never being there for their daughter but also for making her situation so uncertain, only for their own interests (in her eyes).
Another feeling started to grow: jealousy. Athena will feel jealous of anyone who seems a bit too close to Tamarack. Does she think she's no match for Tamarack? Yes. Does that stop her from being jealous? No. She knows she has no right to be, Tamarack is a wonderful girl, it's impossible not to like her, but she can't help it.
Athena grew to be even more bothered by her lack of resemblance with her mother. Some times before turning 14, she started to dye her hair cranberry, just like her mom's hair color (let's say Opal didn't really like to see that her daughter started dyeing her hair at her young age, reaction Athena didn't appreciate, all she wanted was to look like her mom, what's the problem?). Ironically, while Athena wishes so hard to look like her mom, her relationship with her became somewhat strained. As if resembling a completely unknown guy wasn't enough. Living his best life nowhere to be found, uh? Resentment is the word here. Never towards her mom, even if their relationship is not that good at this point, but towards this guy who gave her his physical traits she never wanted and started to despise.
At least she became used to live in Golden Grove.
Step 3 -
At 18, Athena is not the rough troublemaker that she was at 14 anymore. Now she's more like a silly prankster, seemingly always up to something more stupid than before, although she remains reckless and blunt (but less on purpose and more out of habit). Of course, her interest in visual arts remained intact. Her liking for creepy stuff turned into a huge love for horror and its aesthetic.
Her relationship with her mom is getting better than it was 4 years ago. Athena grew out of the resentment she had for her "dad" during step 2 and learned to accept she may not look that much like her mom, but that it doesn't cancel the fact she's Opal's daughter no matter how she looks. Plus "some bits of [Opal] did end up in [her]" after all, right?
Athena's relationship with Autumn is what you could describe as "siblings by hearts", Athena does consider them as the sibling she never had.
Athena and Tamarack are still officially "besties for life", but little do they know that they both ended up falling in love with each other, plain and simple.
Her jealousy and resentment did tone down, but when she thinks back to her 14-year-old self, she feels bad, so bad. For being jealous of Tamarack's friends, for being resentful of a random donor and basically making many things about herself. "Man, I was such a prick. And for what?".
If when she was 14, Athena felt like she was no match for Tamarack because she put Tam on a pedestal, at 18, she now thinks she's simply not good enough as a person for Tamarack. She kind of "accepted" that if Tamarack only wants to be friends, then it's fine, she cannot force Tam to love her back. It's silly to think someone like her could be extra-special in Tam's heart anyway (girl if you knew.), it's nice enough to be her best friend.
Between step 2 and 3, Athena managed to put a label on herself: she's lesbian.
#I hope her story isn't too wacky or simply poorly written aha#also I hope there isnt any typo I havent seen#some parts sound like I was writing a fic from Athena's POV lmao#english is not my first language can you tell#tbh with y'all I didn't really want to add the jealousy option in my story at first#but it grew on me when I remembered the *MC* could be jealous too and realized it could add depth to Athena's character#she can and will be a cringe and petty teenager#I'm not even sure all my little story about Athena feeling like the worst piece of shit ever for her behavior during step 2#could be even mentionned in the final game but I'll keep it as is until further notice#I admit I want to stick to canon as much as possible but I'll treat myself on this one#“siblings by hearts” really feels like I'm taking the “family” status too literally but I swear I'm not#about Tam and Athena I like when the slowburn is slowing hard#and when they're too stupid for this world#our life now and forever#olnf#tamarack baumann#qiu lin#olnf mc#athena suzuki#my drawing
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.
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She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.
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They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked.
We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.
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They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕
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I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#I’m seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that it’s gonna get you killed#It’s good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc he’s bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT IT’S WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasn’t socialized in a long#time and he wouldn’t if it wasn’t a tool he needed to interact with BUT it’s still socialization and it’s getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#How’s that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY they’re so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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HUGS!!!!!
#the kingmaker histories#colette geise#telesphore winterlich#my art#smoking //#i loooove them. had to draw this scene#but it took me ages cuz i got 5 hours into a first attempt but the posing was miserable and lifeless so i gave up for a while :(#this attempt is better (though accidentally an almost identical pose to one of my r/qg fanarts OOPS)#sooo glad i tried again. they deserve my best effort and I LOIVE THEM SO MUCH IM GONNA EXPLODE#tbh. i think colette would be like me in that she'd instinctively kick and flail whenever she's physically lifted off the ground#even if she agreed to it#she probs hasn’t been (willingly) carried by anyone since she was like. 8 or something. there’s no way she’s chill#btw dw the cigar is. fine. and even if colette DID somehow get caught on fire that'd hardly be the worst part of her day LMAO
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stg, being an enjoyer of jane twdg is like being forced into an expert-level course on the way misogyny manifests in video game spaces.
god forbid a woman be complex or difficult or provably mischaracterized (see tags) at the end of her arc to service the culmination of a man’s storyline.
#“kenny was harrowed by loss in his family” so was jane. that is part of them literally being foils.#“kenny teaches clem more!” literally untrue a lot of clem’s combat style is rooted in what jane taught her (targeting the knees & basically#everything clem knows about knife combat- jane is also mirrored with lee in this sense as like was previously stated knife combat later goe#on to become a major element of how clem fights only outweighed by her use of firearms)#she teaches clem the gut trick & we see the innovative thinking that comes with being more independent & proactive influence the way clem#handles sticky situations & deals with feeling disempowered. like this is going to sound odd but the fact that her behaviour mirrors jane#at her best (even though her relationship with aj is more maternal the way she approaches him much more as an equal & capable of holding#agency over his own life is much more reminiscent of the way she was treated by jane & luke positively + the rest of the adults negatively#than how kenny or even lee treated clem [though lee did start to view her this way after the train] + her people reading skill.) & at her#worst (isolating herself + becoming cold + the fact she is [based on player choice] willing to leave aj behind for both their survival +#struggling with her need for community vs her sense of distrust in their lasting stability + her tendency to be unfeelingly pragmatic to a#fault except when it comes to aj + the fact that clem- at her worst is self-serving & somewhat uncaring in comparison to kenny’s possessive#hot-headedness etc) indicates that on some level- regardless of a player’s second season ending- clem considered jane to be a better#behavioural role model- this isn’t to say kenny was unimpactful but rather that his impact was different- where behaviourally we see elemen#of lee luke jane & even carver in clem’s later behaviour kenny’s impact is more so that of a cautionary tale- somebody clem cared for who#she witnessed lose himself entirely to his worst character flaws due to an inability to cope with the world she now lives in- something he#even admits to her in multiple endings iirc. kenny becomes the fate clem must strive against at all costs.#similar can be said of the ending where you go with jane regarding how it analogies clem’s fears & low self worth as a result of being#unable to maintain what she had with aj (in a manner that mirrors jane’s story in that she’s choosing to leave behind a living relative due#to no longer being able to be what they need- again depending on player choice*)#*my exact memory of the third season is hazier tbh. iirc it is dependent on player choice whether she is complacent with the decision to#make her leave the new frontier.#like the way the ending was handled was sloppy & jane was mischaracterized as a result of being shoved into a conflict that we know for#certain was not intended to go to her. calm down & just enjoy your man without being weird & misogynistic dear god.)#(also if you like clem & jane you will like holly robinson & selina kyle dc)#twdg jane#jane twdg#twdg
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do you ever think about how Ohkubo extremely casually dropped the fact that Spirit & Kami were teen parents & then proceeded to never expound upon that fact or bring it up ever again despite it explaining a whole lot about them & Maka
#I think a big part of why I'm so attached to/interested in spirit as a character is because he objectively has A LOT going on in his life.#but because he was created to fill that stock pervy comedic-relief anime side-character archetype we never get to see any of it examined.#or even brought up at all for the most part#like spirit apparently comes from a long line of death weapons who despite having been loyal to lord death for generations are never ever#mentioned & who spirit himself never mentions despite carrying on the family tradition (although he's not unique in that regard tbh)#at 12-13 years old he becomes stein's weapon partner & in his own words it became “[spirit's] job to control [stein].”#another kid with a laundry list of mental health & behavioral issues that spirit probably wasn't super prepared to help “control”#(personally I think that this “job” of spirit's was a duty he took upon himself rather than something lord death necessarily told him to do)#then just ~5 years later he 1) loses/rejects said weapon partner & probably best friend after some really major boundaries were crossed#2) becomes a husband & father at just 18#(& in his own words a broke 18 year old at that. another point towards him not being in contact with any family if they're even alive)#3) becomes technically one of the most important people in the world once he ascends to being a death weapon.#not necessarily in that exact order but certainly in quick succession.#& then we fast forward to canon & spirit's at best a guy who drinks way more than he probably should & at worst a functioning alcoholic#who's only A MONTH into being divorced for his habitual infidelity & is in the really weird position of being the primary caretaker of his#daughter who (rightfully) hates him despite him having zero custodial rights over her.#& imo he seems to have no friends in death city before stein & the other death scythes return despite generally being a people person.#like. spirit is kind of the epitome of should've been at the club lmao#soul eater#spirit albarn#kami albarn#meta (kind of. not really lol)
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I have been absolutely going through it this week but today I found some cool muppet stuff at work (I work in a thrift store) that made my heart happy :)
I got this 1989 vintage Material Girl Miss Piggy doll on a stand, she needs a little cleaning up but other than that is beautiful!!
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I also got this 1984 book of Muppets comics that features one of my favorite comics ever, which is the Gonzo bathroom strip!
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#The muppets have been a huge part of my life since i was a kid#and they always put a smile on my face even on the worst days#i really needed these finds today tbh#the muppets#miss piggy#kermit the frog#gonzo the great#thrift store finds
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Unsure if this is an unpopular opinion but I think Viktor’s writing in Arcane s2 is just all over the place
#viktor#arcane#it’s not that i think it’s ooc. this is a arcane problem generally but viktor took the worst of it#that there’s very little build up#arcane season 2#so it’s not ooc in that they didn’t establish a concrete character for him#i think till he leaves Jayce it’s fine. maybe even the first hraling scene (tbh not a huge fans of the healing as comparedof what i’ve heard#of lol lore)#(but that’s nit a huge problem)#but everything after that? insanely quick#i think they are setting up a ‘arcane is complex and manipulating viktor’ reveal but still they couldhave done better#mainly like way more emphasis on the helping people part. we knew it was what he wanted to fo in s1 but he was slso ambitious and#.and valued science and desperately wanted to live#his desire to help people wasn’t a super prominent trait#but it was probably something he lost sight of and begun valuing again after losing sky#but they should have built it up more
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Just had something happen to me which was very close to a situation I often have nightmares about, and I thought those nightmares were a bit over the top, like, you know, the way dreams tend to be...
Well turns out the dreams weren't exaggerating at all. In fact it's worse in real life. The nightmares were the game turned on easy mode. :)
#untaggged#Definitely not the worst part of the thing but...#...tbh i'm very unnerved because a friend kind of knows about it cause i was supposed to see her and cancelled because of the situation#and i'll see her tomorrow and she's going to ask about it and i'm going to explain#but#she tends to give all too easy solutions to every problem i mention#and put the blame on me in a way i don't always find fair or make me wish for a bit more clemency#so i'm bracing myself for that and i can't help but kind of see it as a test and i'm kind of scared she is going to fail said test that i#don't even want to be a test in the first place...#because she's a friend and i like her but if she finds a way to blame me or tell me how i could have done things better as if it was easy#i'm going to be uncomfortable#and my trust will be a bit eroded whether i want it or not#But also maybe she'd be right to blame me? I *am* disappointed in myself and i do see that i could have done things differently...#not all my actions were particularly smart
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i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst
#not only does leaning down to move my stuff hurt my back#but i have to touch dirty clothes and go into the dirty room and touch the dirty machines and i have to wear 2 pairs of socks (so my#normal socks dont touch the contaminated floor) and when i lean over the washing machine my clothes touch it <-the worst part of it all#tbh. now my current clothes are dirty but i have nothing to change into and i will have to wear them all day and it makes me SICK#and i cannot talk abt how dirty the garage (where the laundry machines are) it makes me nauseous that place kills me if i never#had to go into it ever again i would and i have to carry a laundry basket (dirty) and it touches my clothes when i carry it (disgusting)#and now my clothes are even more dirty and i feel like i cant touch any of my things bc i dont want to infect them but i cant just do#nothing all day when i have to do laundry but it makes me so SICK i need smth to cover all of my clothes but everything i've tried misses#some part and my clothes are ruined and it makes me SICK how am i supposed to do school or draw or anything when it's so bad#i have everything scheduled so i can take a shower and go straight to bed after i'm done but still it's so bad and it stresses me tf out#and i have to do laundry every 3 days because i only have 3 towels to use after showering and even if i did have more towels#i still would have to do laundry as often bc i couldnt handle doing multiple loads or having bigger loads my back couldnt handle that#w the system i have set up now it's just bad it;s all bad i hate doing laundry#i dream of one day where i can do laundry in a better way i think it'd involve not having the washer and dryer down steps bc that's#dangerous for one and for two not having them in a garage bc garages stress me out and three to have smth to cover all of my clothes#and 4 to have machines that dont need me to bend down idk if they have ones like that but it hurts#anyway that's it for listening to dux complain abt smth that ultimately doesnt matter and is only a problem bc their brain#chemistry is off#k bye i have to go do laundry *explodes* and take an exam *explodes* it;s an essay exam *explodes* and then im going#to like sit around feeling sick thumbs up emoji
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Cant wait to see the dynamic between Charles and Lewis next year.. i feel like its either going to go well or good at the beginning and goes sour towards the end 🤷🏽♀️
i'm already stockpiling popcorn for the Absolute Scenes™ we are going to get between them
#tbh i don't even think it's going to go well at the start i think they'll be doing pr to pretend it is#but lbr they'll both be desperate to beat each other#neither one of these men has ever been happy to see a teammate beat them or anyone beat them#they are the worlds worst losers just so sour and miserable and not good enough actors to fake it#(i don't mean that as a criticism i think it's part of what makes them interesting and successful but it will still lead to bloodshed)#it's going to be great 😊#delta help desk
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re:kingdom hearts: database recovered in a nutshell (sound on pls)
#robo ramble#re:kh#databaserecovered#this is the worst way to communicate wtf this part of the rewrite is even about but i think it gets the job done /j#(if i had friends who were actually willing to do this with me i would've had kairi namine and axel dance too tbh)#oh yeah and you can reblog this one if you want. spread the disease.
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I've reached the stage of having a cold where I'm deeply Over It and I'm bored with being congested and I'm petulantly kicking my feet and saying GO AWAAAYYY
anyway solidarity with my various other mutuals who are also Fed Up with various Being Sicks
#covid tests have been negative and it's not even that BAD of a cold#it's just Annoying#and I'm feeling all cooped up and restless#the worst part is the sinus headache tbh bc the congestion is like Deep in there instead of more front sinusy
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I read Hussie's author notes and they were so disappointing. He dismisses Eridan and gamzee as one-dimensional nastyboys, he claims Rose and Dave's true arc was to refuse their quests and they just needed to stop feeling guilty about it, and he says karkat's final frog didn't even matter and he was just worrying over nothing. There's so much potential clearly written in and he just throws it all away bc lol. Your analysis is so much more nuanced has so much more thought put into it both with regards to who these characters are as people and the role they serve in the plot. I'd take your ideas over what hussie thinks is canon any day of the week.
this is super funny to me because i absolutely take what hussie says into account like all the time HAHAHA
Like genuinely I go back to their formspring/tumblr/forum/book notes all the time to see how on-track i am with my analyses. If you like whatever bullshit i'm talking about, then you like hussie's writing!
#like if you read all of hussie's writing back during their formspring/tumblr days#it's all usually very insightful and very clear that hussie not only cares deeply about their characters and world#but also REALLY REALLY UNDERSTANDS STORYTELLING#and it becomes really easy to pick apart what stuff they say at the end of their time on homestuck#and figure out what parts of it are frustration at the audience & what parts probably hold some truth to them#and the thing is i dont even really blame them for turning against the audience#because tbh ive been there (on a much smaller scale)#harassment/witch hunting campaigns are genuinely traumatizing and terrifying#and i really cannot overstate just how much the fandom used to go for hussie's throat over LITERALLY EVERYTHING#it was horrific to watch back then and it's frustrating now#so from the bottom of my heart as somebody who's Been There i *get it* and cant hold it against them#the worst parts of the SU and Voltron fandoms came out of homestuck#now imagine that aimed at you 24/7 no matter what you say for months and months#like people literally called hussie homophobic for saying the trolls are all bi/pan by default#and that even within that framework kanaya is explicitly a lesbian#like??????? yeah i would be pissed at the fanbase too
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the thing about yosuke’s shittiness around here (up close and personal, the campout) is that the vast majority of it isn’t doing literally anything for his character. i completely think yosuke’s shittiness is important to his character, but it’s by and large reflections of his own insecurities and flaws. he’s insecure about his masculinity and sexuality, he’s lame, he’s selfish, he’s obsessed with the idea of women, his mouth moves faster than his brain, he doesn’t like himself, and he cares way too much about the societal ideal of ‘normal’. but it’s really important that he’s self-aware! he knows when the things he says are shitty, he knows he’s lame, he knows he’s selfish, he knows he’s putting up a front of being carefree and normal. but there’s absolutely no self awareness here, there’s no recognizing he went too far and apologizing the next day, there’s no regret, there’s not even any self-deprecation, and there’s absolutely no compassion or empathy like he has in serious moments. a lot of what he says is just mean for meanness’s sake, in an execution incongruous with previous behaviour. it’s not even funny!
#tbh i think the thing with kanji in the tent was the closest to being interesting#like by the end he’s warning against kanji leaving the tent#so clearly he cares about kanji more than he’s homophobic#he was straight up just saying that stuff to be shitty. knowingly!#that’s interesting! and the whole thing reeks of yosuke’s own insecurity in his masculinity and sexuality#he took it way too far and i deeply wish he’d quit it with the we statements#but if he had even a single line like ‘shit… i shouldn’t have said all that’ or recognized he was in the wrong at all#then i think it genuinely would’ve been an important moment for his character#everything else was just extremely shitty for no reason. the fucking swimsuits was pathetic but the gross guilt tripping was awful#he’s just lacking all of his usual self awareness. he’s lacking all of his good qualities and nuance#like it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes yosuke’s other moments interesting or funny#this is just him being mean getting punished arbitrarily and not learning anything#on paper i get it. i get how these events could be continuations of established charateristics#but it’s just so mean and shitty that it becomes absurd nonsensical and unenjoyable#the stuff with hanako is just genuinely repugnant on the game’s behalf. it serves no purpose other than cruelty#definitely the worst part of the game so far#rambles#p4g posting#yosukeposting
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Didn't felt like mentioning it immediately but shoutout to my sick and twisted brain for getting so triggered by an unexpected Christmas parade that I ended up havin the absolute worst panic attack of my entire life (potentially the only real one? I've had a couple other episodes I thought of as panic attacks but they were not even close to that so who knows) to the point where I spent the very last day of my 30th year on this earth in the ER, good times, good times 😊
#that was 10 days ago and i honestly was fine immediately after it ended so don't worry for me <3#but yeah this shit was crazy holy hell#like i knew intellectually that 'feeling like you're dying' is a symptom of a panic attack but *actually* feeling it is another thing...#and even at the worst i was like 'ok i'm clearly having a panic attack it's not nice but it's gonna be ok'#but there was a piece of my brain that was like 'ok but what if your mom or grandma had told themselves that...'#'when they were having heart attack? They would have died and so will you 😊'#and i was like shit can't argue with that better get my ass to the hospital before i die#spoiler alert: i didn't died#ironically enough the revolting state of our healthcare system is lowkey what helped me calmed the fuck down#because i was tiny but i do remember when my mom had her heart attack and they sure as hell didn't let her wait for 7h+#so when i realized that this is what was gonna happen after i spent a brief moment with a nurse i was just like...oh i'm fine actually lol#and then i had to go take the bus in my fake crocs that i usually never wear outside of the house smh#interestingly enough my phobia of hospital seems to have competely disappear! which makes me believe that it was more a trauma response#than an actual phobia#not that the name changes that much but still interesting development#also no i'm not wearing a mask because nobody gave me one#that's actually one of the thing that made me leave lmao#oh and btw the christmas parade is true but also a bit more complex than that#basically i had a full sleepless night and i was mad so i decided to go buy myself some weed#turned out that there was a huge christmas parade 5 minutes away from the weed store so i hade to find another way#and then i got lost on the way back#and saw no less than 3 big fights between different homeless people#including one man randomly kicking another man's dog (which kinda really messed with me tbh)#and then i smoked a big joint (first one in like 10 days) with 0 sleep and zero food in my body#and then i took the bus#and then the bus driver yelled at an elderly man for not waiting at the right place#and then i took a sip of water and for some truly strange reason my brain decided that the water had gone in my lungs#and that i was actively drowning#and the rational part of me was like...girl that's not what drowning feels like what are you even talking about??#and then my brain went 'well if we're not drowning than we're having a heart attack'
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