#it was the first time i used a cane
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Walking around town today with a wooden cane left after my grandfather, because I don't want to risk another flare-up: call it Remus Lupin core
#werewolfkin#remus lupin#marauders#chronic pain#disabled#it was the first time i used a cane#felt weird#expected to be judged as a young person#using humour to cope#white wolf's tracks
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Tbh it really is something to have grandmothers (one late 70s other late 80s) who are in better shape than you are, like I go see my grandma and we walk somewhere and i'll be panting before she's even slightly out of breath and it's not like she's in the best of conditions either, and then don't even get me started on my other grandma, she still does sports.
#chronic illness#disabled#disability#chronic pain#chronically ill#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#pots#ehlers danlos syndrome#heds#chronic fatigue syndrome#cfs#me cfs#myalgic encephalomyelitis#(grandfathers aren't mentioned due to both of them being dead)#my grandma's are both not in the best of conditions#but at least stamina and exercise wise they are both in better shape than i am#which is certainly a Feeling#i do walk faster than my grandma from the first example#but that's more because i am tall and she is very short#and that she is a bit unstable#but both distance and time wise she can walk more than i can#and then sports grandma...#even as a kid she could keep up with her energetic grandchildren#out of the two of us guess which one uses a rollator#it's me#i started using a mobility aid before either of my grandmas#and while the older one has started using a cane sometimes#sports grandma only needed one for a bit after her knee surgery
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remember, he used to use a wheelchair when he was in grade school
i can see him ditching it because most places are a nightmare for wheelchair users, he still should use a cane to help with his stamina though
tetsu and mahiru thought the alicein estate has elevators installed because theyre rich and fancy but no actually it's because they're a big disabled family
#servamp#alicein misono#misono alicein#yarra draws stuff#this is my first time drawing someone using a cane#and i almost drew misono holding the handle backward#no wonder it looked uncomfortable
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what is it about using a mobility aid that makes people forget you’re human? 🤔
#fif talks#vent#my mom was pushing me around in a wheelchair yesterday#and a GROWN MAN ran into a display case at target because he was staring at me#and a GROWN WOMAN i had never met started smiling at me like i was a baby#at first i thought ‘aw shit am i supposed to know this woman’#bc i didn’t recognize her#and then realized oh no she just forgot i was a regular human person because im sitting in a wheelchair#not to mention the countless stares like i was some sort of freak#which i get every damn day#im already in copious amounts of pain#im already 17 and have to use a fucking cane#don’t you think i have enough problems??#not to mention EVERY time i use a motorized cart at a store people look at me like im committing a crime#disability#rheumatoid arthritis#disabled#chronic pain#abelism#ableism tw#chronically ill
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Not to kill the big euphoria that's been in my dash since Saturday, but I (personally) did not like the ending of a rcane
#nisi talks tag#left me and my boyfriend speechless and not in a good way#i mean i guess i didn't hate it but it surely wasnt as perfect as some ppl here act it was#i think at least#something that i noticed right away is how I wasnt emotionally affected at all#last season i cried in ep 3 6 and 9#and this time all of it was just...meh#except for ek ko leaving his ideal life behind i guess#the bla ck rose thing didnt need to be there#it ate time for no reason#i didnt lkke this hellbent attempt to marvelise this story#like sure they wanna make a big shared universe but can we finish this story first?#i didn't like how the ending affects all the other champions of piltover that weren't in the story#i guess ar cane fans don't care about that because they don't care about l eague#but i like le ague lore and with this its all messed up#no he x tech? how does ez gauntlet work for example?#i wish r iot hadn't announced that this is the new canon because that sucks#also.ambes sa was just introduced to the game and now she is dead...what#and personally i had hoped vic tor would be much cooler thAn he ended up being#like that's on me of course#we going to no xus next probably and that's fine#tho little boring i think? nox us vs da macia is just#good empire Vs bad empire#but maybe we get ro see drav en so that would be fun#anyway#i hate tagging this because im scared of backlash but i need to for others who havent seen it#arcane spoilers#please don't come for me
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just had an airport experience so evil that i literally openly cried from like 10min after deplaning all the way through customs etc until halfway through the train ride back to the city 👍
#almost lost my bag first of all bc they did a weird confusing valet check#then i'd asked for wheelchair assistance but they just left one at the gate and nobody would help me bc ig i didn't request it properly?#and none of the wheelchair ppl even knew who to ask???#and we were in a weird remote part of the airport so i was just wandering around lost and ended up having to go so far#like i survived with just my cane i Can walk it didn't hurt that bad but. it could've hurt less!!#NONE of this was helped by it being the first time i ever seriously tried to use a wheelchair in public. was already scared#anyway. fuck airports. at least i'm home#p
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so.. smiles. anyone remember my golden age boxing au?
#UH to recap:#Ludwig came to the US with his brother Gilbert#Gilbert working the steel mill coal mines dock (hard work labour insert)#Ludwig gets offered boxing or sowmthing n he’s like NO I am not beating someone up for entertainment#then Gilbert hurts his foot n jumps around on a broke lidl cane n Ludwig is like FINE I’ll box#anyway#the Vargas family is a big mob family n grandpa Roma does some boxing matches rigging on the side#for fun u know#Lovino n Feliciano aren’t involved tho (or are they Vine boom sound effect)#they own a tailor shop and it’s a legal business OR IS IT (vine boom sound effect x2)#not to go all GerIta on your ass but they see each other for da first time when feli is invited to one of Ludwig’s boxing matches#n then they have crazy retro gay sex#hetalia#hws Veneziano#hws Germany#GerIta#Feliciano Vargas#ludwig beilschmidt#hws Italy#hws north Italy#hws south Italy#hws Romano#uh Romano also has a story#crushing on his grandpas leg breaker (Antonio) whose a few years older#but Antonio is having intercourse with a Dutch dock worker#999art
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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slowly building back up now that i'm in a healthier environment....been cooking breakfast and sometimes lunch for my partners, making my own food, cleaning what i can, studying when i can...
idk, it's just a pretty big leap from being functionally bedridden and i'm relieved that it's possible to rebuild this much in basically a single month. i was kinda worried i'd never recover, so this is promising \o/
#stirring up trouble#today is a harder day than usual and i think it's just bc the weather is chilly... first time since moving it's dropped below 70#which is pretty much my threshold before i start taking cold damage lmao#but even with today being harder i managed to chop vegetables and cook two different breakfasts and clean my desk a bit#i still need to watch how often i use the stairs and rely a lot on my cane but man. it really is a huge difference.....
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just wanted to thank everyone that's been encouraging me or offering some kind of support the last few times I talked about getting a cane... because I went and got one today and I didn't think it would make that much of a difference. I underestimated how much it would change for me.
So thank you <33
#got a prescription from my GP last week and gathered my nerves together to get one today#thankfully we have a health care supply store only ten minutes away on foot#I'd planend on getting an anatomical one as prescribed by my GP and it was comfortable and id probably have chosen it too but#then the lady there told me to try the derby handle instead and honestly that was even better plus i can use it on both sides#its sleek and black for now because i can barely bear the thought of anyone seeing me using a cane in our small town in the first place#but once im comfortable..#anyway we went to a shop across the street afterwards because my besties mum needed to get some things and I didn't wanna go home by myself#and tbh i preferred the thought of going into our small city centre with somebody i trusted and felt comfortable around the first time aroun#long story short im super suprised by the difference it's making 😬 i mean ofc i didn't just get the cane on a fluke#but it was like 'well let's try it out it may help and people keep saying it's for stability and chronic pain too so why not'#yeah so apparently i did need it#i felt so much better#there were several instances where i noticed the cane kept me from stumbling or swaying or missing a step#it felt good#so thank you all
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Dress-Up Jam! Get Yours Today!
hey guess who gets top surgery in 5 days
#jam draws stuff#did anyone else have an obsession with paper dolls as a kid?#i used to cut out the model from magazines my mum would read and then trace around them to make my own clothes for them#i've had this idea in my head for years and this is the first time i've executed it in a way i dont hate#and i think thats almost entirely because of T and (soon) top surgery making me actually like my body for the first time in my life#also these are all real clothes that I own/made#including the Rocky Horror costume I'm making and planning on wearing for a slutty slutty halloween#and my spike covered cane#also that knee brace is like a son to me. he never comes off#art#digital art#illustration#self portrait#paper dolls#trans#trans masc#ftm
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So I got my first pair of forearm crutches today and I was wondering where you guys get your decals from?
Spoonies please respond with your favourite stickers, artists, and brands, so I can get some inspo for customising these guys!
Also feel free to share what you've done with your own gear on this post too!
#also was my first time using a mobility aid in public without an Injury Marker like a cast or moonboot#and everyone was super nice about it which is great#i was anxious as hell#mobility aid customisation#mobilty aid#crutches#cane#spoonie
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Hey this is a minor thing but I love the detail of penis cupcake using crutches but anus cupcake using a cane it makes them look more distinct from each other and gives off that have the same disability but with different types makes sense considering that there twins also your art is really cute!
Okay so the funny thing is actually forgot to give ainis his cane in that drawing but I did intend too, I'm glad someone noticed that though :]
Also I did zero research or anything before giving pains crutches (which I've heard cannoned him has needing them for awhile since in videos he's only pictured sitting/crawling or standing so I assumed he had difficulties with it. I also considered giving him a wheelchair but 1. Hard to draw 2. I think it'd make less sense for him since the crutches he can drop whenever he needs too) i just drew it and it worked out well (ughhh I'm rambling)
#I'll totally take advice from anyone who does use a cane/crutches for how to potray them the best tho#im physically disabled myself but it hasn't gotten to the point that i need a cane yet#i might have to get one in a few years but thats a problem for future me#need to talk to my doctor first tho#ughhhhhh#okay now im really just ranting#yeah no im just glad people liked them#and i hope i actually remember to draw ainis's cane instead of just the hand position next time#(this is why i can't be popular. i talk to much)
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writers and artists who headcanon characters to have disabilities and use aids they don’t have in canon you will always be famous to me
#bc like sometimes you feel so weird using an aid because you feel so alone#and i see these headcanons and remember that it IS completely normal to have to accommodate your disability#like i went out somewhere with my cane for the first time (that wasn’t my very small college campus where i know at least 3 other cane users#and i felt so weird bc i was a 20 year old using a cane#disability pride#disabled pride month
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Christians will see a group of stressed college students and ask if anyone else is gonna make their stress worse and not wait for an answer
#Bro people are studying for finals and you're yelling about fuckin hell and repentance#like they really do target people in their most vulnerable state#one dude chased people down and asked if he could pray over them#if a fairly large man ran at me Id think 'please let this man kill me before I have to take this statistics final' not 'Pray for me'#also I find it funny they're like 'Jesus can heal you' like buddy I started using the cane while I was still a christian ya boy ain't shit#I use a cane walker and wheelchair depending on the occasion#And they either avoid me like the plague or rush to see who can trigger my religious trauma first#I had to walk directly next to the yelling dude to get to my car and the running dude ran past me this time#But he did start yelling about healing when he wasn't before so who knows#A college campus during finals is a pvp zone there is no holy protection here#also I taught my therapist about Kellogg's origins and he is horrified yet amused#ex christian#religious trauma
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Crip love is waving at other cane users at a conference
#truly this interaction made me so happy#it’s my first time using a cane at a big event#and I was so happy to not be the only one#crip love project#crip love#cane user#mobility aid
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