#the pain was just barely there but there enough to be Noticable. like are you going to hurt or are you going to Stop.

[lizziesangel]

RAFE CAMERON - changes

x FEM!reader - MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: based on this request

WORD COUNT: +3.5k

GENRE: angsty

CONTENT WARNING: mentions of alcohol abuse!!

rafe cameron’s transformation hadn’t been instant. it wasn’t like he woke up one day and decided to leave behind the drugs, the fights, and the reputation that shadowed him everywhere he went.

it was gradual—painful, even. he hit rock bottom when his father, had finally given up on him, staring him down with disappointment so heavy that it left rafe feeling like nothing. adding that to the constant whispers on the island, the mounting legal troubles, and his own body screaming for something—anything—to numb it all.

and then he met you.

it wasn’t love at first sight—nothing that neat. you weren’t the kind of person who’d fall for the version of rafe cameron he was back then, and he knew it. still, something about you made him try harder to keep your attention, even if it was just in small, fleeting moments. you didn’t seem afraid of him, but you weren’t charmed by the bad boy act either. that made you different.

you saw through him, though he didn’t realize it at first. the easy smirk he wore, the sharp edges to his personality—you didn’t buy into any of it. and for reasons he couldn’t explain, that only made him want you more.

at first, you were just a distraction from the chaos of his life. Aabright spot in the mess he couldn’t seem to untangle. but the more time he spent with you, the more he realized he wanted to be the version of himself you deserved—the version of himself he’d buried beneath years of anger and regret.

you didn’t push him to change. you didn’t lecture him or try to fix him. instead, you simply existed in his world, your quiet strength and warmth enough to make him question everything.

for a long time, rafe tried to balance it all: keeping you close while still sinking into the same destructive habits. but it became harder and harder to look you in the eye after a night of doing blow or waking up in a jail cell. he could see the worry in your expression, the disappointment you tried to hide. and though you never said the words outright, he could feel the weight of your silent plea: be better. you’re better than this.

the night everything changed was one he would never forget. you had stayed up waiting for him after one of his infamous benders. he came home bruised, reeking of alcohol, his eyes bloodshot and unfocused. you didn’t yell or cry. you simply asked, “how much longer do you think you can keep this up before it kills you?”

it wasn’t a threat or an ultimatum—it was a genuine question, asked in the softest voice he’d ever heard. and for the first time, he didn’t have an answer.

he wasn’t proud of how far gone he’d been. the cocaine, the countless nights drowning in whiskey, the explosive temper that dragged him into fights he’d barely remember starting. he’d been pushing away everyone who had ever cared about him, and for what? empty bottles, bleeding knuckles, and a rap sheet that could rival a career criminal’s

that was the moment rafe realized he didn’t want to lose you. and more importantly, he didn’t want to lose himself.

the road to redemption wasn’t easy. he stumbled more times than he cared to admit, but he kept going. for you, at first—but eventually, for himself too.

from that day on, rafe worked to pull himself out of the mess he’d created. it wasn’t easy. the withdrawal was brutal, the temptation constant. the whispers didn’t stop, and the pogues certainly didn’t forgive and forget overnight. but he stayed the course, because for the first time, he could see a future where he wasn’t defined by his worst moments.

what he didn’t see, as he fought to put himself back together, was the way you were starting to come undone.

rafe had been too consumed by his own chaos to notice the way it was spilling over into your life. in those early days, you tried to be there for him, to anchor him, even as he self-destructed. but being close to rafe cameron back then meant standing too close to the fire. he didn’t mean to hurt you—he didn’t even realize he was doing it—but his recklessness burned everything in its path, including you.

there were nights when you’d wait for him, staring at the clock long past midnight, your stomach twisting with dread. was he passed out somewhere? in a fight? in jail? the worry gnawed at you, clawing deeper with every unanswered text and phone call.

and when he did come home, he wasn’t the person you knew he could be. he was drunk, high, and distant, his words slurred, his temper sharp. you tried to reach him, to remind him of the person he used to be, but it was like trying to hold water in your hands—it all slipped through your fingers.

the worst part wasn’t the yelling or the silences. it was the absence.

slowly, without realizing it, rafe had left you alone in a relationship that was supposed to be a partnership. you stopped counting the days between when he’d actually look at you, really see you. you were there, holding him up.

but no one was holding you.

at first, you told yourself it didn’t matter. you were strong; you could handle it. but cracks began to form, little fissures that grew wider with every broken promise and sleepless night. and in those moments, when the loneliness became unbearable, you turned to the only thing that seemed to quiet the ache: alcohol.

it started small—a glass of wine to help you sleep, a glass of vodka to steady your nerves. but as the nights dragged on and rafe stayed out later and later, one drink became two, then three, until you stopped counting altogether.

though the irony wasn’t lost on you. you were drowning yourself in the very thing that was destroying him. but at least when you were drunk, the pain didn’t feel so sharp, the nights didn’t feel so long, and the loneliness didn’t feel so suffocating.

rafe didn’t notice. how could he? he was too busy stumbling through his own haze of drugs and liquor to see the way you were crumbling. you both lived in the same house, but it felt like you were in different worlds—his world of chaos and yours of quiet despair.

by the time rafe began to claw his way out of his darkness, the damage had already been done. he was so focused on getting clean, on staying out of trouble, that he didn’t notice the way your hands trembled in the mornings or the way you poured your drinks a little too full at dinner.

you told yourself it was fine. he was trying to be better, and you didn’t want to burden him with your own problems. but deep down, you resented him for it—resented the way he seemed to be moving forward while you were still stuck, sinking deeper into a hole you didn’t know how to climb out of.

for him it seemed to work. you were supportive, always cheering him on, always proud. but the more he healed, the more he started to notice things he hadn’t before. things about you.

the way your hands trembled when you reached for your coffee mug. the red-rimmed eyes that never seemed to fade, even after a full night’s rest. the way you poured yourself another glass of wine at dinner before you’d even finished the first.

and the smell. faint, but unmistakable. alcohol lingered on your breath, on your clothes. he knew the scent all too well.

the realization hit him like a punch to the gut. at first, he tried to brush it off, convinced he was overthinking. but the signs were there, clear as day. and tonight, as you reached for yet another glass of wine, he couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

“how much have you been drinking?”

the question hung in the air, heavy and unyielding.

you froze, your fingers tightening around the stem of your glass. “what?”

he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his brows furrowed in concern. “i’m serious, y/n. how much?”

you laughed, but it was hollow, bitter. “why does it matter?” you asked, taking a sip as if to prove a point.

“because i’m worried about you,” he said, his voice trembling slightly. “i’m not stupid. the glass is always full, there’s always another bottle. your hands shake in the morning, baby. i know the signs.”

you set the glass down with a sharp clink, your chest tightening. “don’t do this, rafe.”

“do what?” he asked, his tone still soft but laced with desperation. “care about you? ask what the hell’s going on? you think i don’t notice the way you’ve been slipping?”

and just like that, the dam burst. the emotions you’d been bottling up came flooding out in a rush of anger and sadness.

“you don’t get to judge me!” you snapped, your voice shaking. “not after everything. do you know how many nights i spent waiting for you to come home, praying you weren’t dead in a ditch somewhere? do you know what it’s like to watch someone you love destroy themselves and not be able to do a damn thing about it?”

rafe’s face crumpled, his guilt visible in every line. “i’m not judging you,” he said quietly. “i know what it’s like. i know how it feels to want to drown it all out, to make it stop.”

“no, you don’t,” you shot back, your voice breaking. “you don’t know how it feels to lose someone before they’re even gone. to... to feel like you’re screaming for help... but no one hears you because they’re too busy pulling themselves out of the mess they made!”

“angel,” rafe said, reaching for your hand, but you pulled back.

“i know i’m a hypocrite,” you continued, tears threatening to stream down your face. “i know i’m doing the same thing you did. and maybe i’m weak. maybe i’m pathetic!” sobs came out of you as you tried to form your words.

“but i needed you, rafe. i needed you, and you weren’t there! you were never there,” your voice cracked.

he flinched like you’d struck him, but he didn’t argue. he didn’t try to defend himself, because deep down, he knew you were right. “i wasn’t there,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “i wasn’t. and i’ll never forgive myself for that. but i’m here now, and i’m begging you—please let me help you.”

you shook your head, anger and heartbreak swirling in your chest. “i don’t need your help, rafe. i don’t need you to fix me.”

he reached for you again, desperation written all over his face. “i’m not trying to fix you. i just—i love you. i can’t watch you go through this alone. please, angel, let me help.”

but you couldn’t. the pain, the anger—it was all too much. you stood abruptly, grabbing your coat.

“where are you going?” he asked, panic flashing in his eyes.

“out,” you said, your voice cold and final.

“please don’—”

“i can’t do this right now,” you cut him off, walking to the door. “i just—i need to breathe.”

rafe stood frozen, his heart pounding as he watched you slip on your shoes and grab your keys.

“baby, don’t go,” he said, his voice breaking.

“please, don’t leave like this.”

you didn’t look back. the door closed with a slam behind you, leaving rafe alone in the silence, his heart splintering into pieces.

but he didn’t try to wait. the moment the door closed behind you, he grabbed his jacket and followed, his heart pounding with equal parts fear and determination.

you were already halfway down the driveway when he caught up, your keys clenched tightly in your hand as you marched toward your car.

“y/n,” he called, his voice desperate, but you didn’t stop.

“just leave me alone, rafe,” you said, your tone sharp, though it cracked at the edges.

“i can’t do that, angel,” he said, quickening his pace until he was just a few steps behind you. “i’m not letting you walk away like this.”

you spun on your heel, your eyes blazing with a mix of anger and pain. “you don’t get to follow me,” you snapped. “you don’t get to tell me what to do, not after everything!”

he stopped in his tracks, holding his hands up like he was surrendering. “okay. fine. but at least let me drive you.”

you scoffed, turning back toward your car. “i don’t need you to drive me, i’m fine.”

“you’re not fine,” he said softly, his voice laced with concern. “you’ve been drinking. i can smell and see it. please, just—don’t do this. if you need to get away, i’ll take you. just let me drive.”

you hesitated, your hand on the car door. deep down, you knew he was right. the alcohol was still humming faintly in your veins, and the last thing you needed was to get pulled over or worse.

“i don’t need a babysitter,” you muttered, but you let the keys dangle loosely in your hand.

“i know you don’t,” he said, stepping closer, his voice gentle. “but i need to do this, okay? just—let me do this for you.”

“i need to know you’re safe.”

you looked at him, his face etched with a raw kind of desperation that made your chest ache. for a moment, you considered pushing him away again, but the exhaustion was too heavy, and the fight was slipping from your grasp.

“okay,” you said reluctantly, tossing him the keys. “but don’t talk to me.”

rafe nodded, catching the keys midair. “yeah, okay,” he said quietly.

you climbed into the passenger seat, crossing your arms and staring out the window as he slid into the driver’s seat. the silence between you was thick, heavy with unsaid words, but he didn’t press. he simply started the car and pulled out of the driveway.

as the streetlights blurred past, you pulled a flask from your coat pocket, unscrewing the lid with shaky hands.

“y/n, don’t,” rafe said softly, glancing over at you.

you ignored him, lifting the flask to your lips.

“please,” he said, his voice breaking. “i’m begging you. just—don’t.”

“it won’t help, it never will.”

your hand hovered midair, the weight of his words pressing down on you. for a moment, you hesitated, but the familiar ache in your chest won out. you tipped the flask back, the burn of the alcohol momentarily numbing the pain.

rafe gripped the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles white. he didn’t say anything else, but the hurt in his expression was unmistakable.

as the car sped down the road, the silence between you grew heavier, suffocating. rafe was struggling to keep himself together, but he knew one thing: no matter how far you tried to run, he wasn’t going to let you go through this alone.

the red and blue lights flashing in the rearview mirror brought rafe’s heart to his throat.

“shit,” he muttered, gripping the wheel tighter as he pulled the car to the side of the road.

you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, clutching the flask. “you were speeding, weren’t you?”

rafe’s jaw tightened. “yeah, i guess i was. just—stay quiet, alright?”

the flashlight beam hit the driver’s side window before either of you could say anything else. when rafe rolled it down, the familiar voice of shoupe made the tension in the car skyrocket.

“well, well, look who we have here,” shoupe said, leaning down to get a better look at rafe. his tone was casual, almost amused, but there was a sharp edge to it. “rafe cameron, speeding down my roads. what’s the rush tonight?”

rafe forced a tight smile, though the discomfort was written all over his face. “sorry, officer. i wasn’t paying attention to my speed. just trying to get my girl to a friends’ house,” he said, nodding toward you.

shoupe’s flashlight swept across the interior of the car, landing squarely on the flask in your lap.

“uh-huh,” shoupe nodded, his tone shifting as he focused on you. “and uh… what’s that? you two drinking and driving tonight?”

your stomach dropped, and you froze, unable to find the words to respond.

rafe jumped in immediately, his voice firm but a little shaky. “it’s mine,” he said quickly. “the flask—it’s mine, shoupe.”

shoupe raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “yours, huh? and yet, it’s sitting in her lap?”

“she just—she was holding it for me,” rafe lied, his voice steady despite the panic brewing in his chest. “i wasn’t thinking, i shouldn’t have had it in the car. that’s on me.”

shoupe straightened, sighing heavily. “c’mon, son. you’ve been doing so good lately. now i’m supposed to believe you’re back to this? open containers in the car? speeding? what’s going on?”

“it’s not what it looks like,” rafe said quickly, desperation seeping into his tone. “just give me a ticket for the speeding, and i’ll take care of it. i’ll dump the flask right now.”

shoupe glanced between you and rafe, his sharp eyes narrowing. the tension stretched, the air in the car thick and suffocating. finally, he sighed and shook his head.

“look,” he said, his voice softer now, “you’re lucky i know you’ve been trying to straighten out, son. but i don’t want to see you slipping, especially with her involved.” he gestured toward you with his flashlight.

rafe nodded quickly. “understood. i’ll get it together. promise.”

shoupe studied him for a moment longer before stepping back. “slow down. and get rid of the flask. i better not catch you with it again.”

“yes, sir,” rafe said, his voice tight.

shoupe gave you both one last look before walking back to his car. as the flashing lights receded into the far distance, rafe leaned back in his seat, letting out a shaky exhale.

you stared at him, your emotions swirling in a chaotic mess. “why the hell did you take the blame?”

rafe turned to you, his eyes weary but determined. “because i’m not letting you deal with this bullshit, y/n. not you. never you.”

you opened your mouth to argue, but the words wouldn’t come. instead, you looked out the window, your grip on the flask loosening as rafe started the car again.

the silence between you was heavier than ever, but you could feel his eyes flicking to you now and then, filled with concern and a love you didn’t know how to handle anymore.

the car stayed silent except for the low hum of the engine as rafe drove. his eyes flicked toward you every few moments, filled with worry and guilt.

you sat stiffly in the passenger seat, staring out the window, the flask now abandoned in your lap. the weight of everything hung heavily in the air, suffocating and thick.

“y/n,” rafe finally said softly, his voice tentative, testing the waters. “can we just—can we talk about this?”

his words broke something in you. the wall you’d been desperately holding up crumbled, and a choked sob escaped your lips.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice trembling as tears began to stream down your face. “i’m so sorry, rafe.”

rafe immediately pulled the car over to the side of the road, his heart clenching at the sound of your broken voice. “baby, no,” he said, turning to you, his own voice shaking. “don’t do that. don’t apologize. you don’t have to—”

“i was so awful to you,” you cried, covering your face with your hands as your shoulders shook. “you didn’t deserve that. you’re trying so hard to be better, and i—i just lashed out at you.”

rafe reached for your hands, gently pulling them away from your face. his eyes glistened with unshed tears as he looked at you, his expression raw and vulnerable.

“no, angel,” he said, his voice thick. “don’t do that. don’t blame yourself. i’m the one who messed up. i wasn’t there for you when you needed me. i let you down, and now you’re—” his voice cracked, and he turned his head away for a moment, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay.

you shook your head, tears spilling freely. “i just—i don’t know how to fix this, rafe. i feel like i’m drowning, and i don’t know how to stop.”

his hands tightened around yours, his own tears threatening to fall. “you don’t have to do it alone, angel,” he said softly. “you don’t have to carry this by yourself. let me help you, please. let me be there for you.”

you looked at him, his eyes filled with nothing but love and desperation, and the weight of it all was almost too much to bear.

“turn around,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

“what?” rafe asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.

“turn around,” you repeated, a fresh wave of tears spilling down your cheeks. “let’s just go home, rafe. please. i don’t—i just want to go home.”

rafe exhaled shakily, nodding as he wiped a hand across his face. “okay, baby,” he said, his voice cracking. “we’ll go home. whatever you need.”

he put the car in reverse, pulling back onto the road. as he drove, his hand reached out to rest on your knee, a silent promise that he wasn’t letting go—not this time.

[mikkomacko]

Him and I- Diamond Rings

Pairing: Mob Nico Hischier x reader

Warnings: some cursing, crying, nothing much

A/n: bit of a fluffer chapter after sad Nico and reader last chapter. Hope you all like it! I’ll be back soon with a Christmas blurb for y’all :))

Previous chapter

____________________________________________

Nico can’t sleep.

You can hear him pacing the room, the light taps of his feet on the hardwood floor as he attempts to quietly distract himself.

He’s always praised you for your ability to be light on your toes, amazed at how you move around on jobs with the boys without making a sound. It’s why he’s always called you sneaky. And it’s a skill he himself has never been able to fully accomplish.

Even now, with fuzzy socks up to his ankles and an awkward gait that he gets from trying to balance on the balls of his feet, you can hear him.

Careful to not move too much, you blink away sleep and watch him. He doesn’t walk too far, going from one end of the bed to the next. Sometimes he’ll look out the window, but most of the time he’s just nibbling on the side of his thumb, one arm crossed over his bare chest.

Something in your chest aches, throbbing painfully in the space that your heart normally resides. Except it doesn’t feel like your heart is there anymore. Only the echoing beats of it, painful thrums in the empty captivity that gapes there.

Maybe you messed up, talking to Rino like that. You wanted to protect Nico, to keep his father from hurting him again but it feels like you’ve just hurt him in place of his father. Nico didn’t get to confront him, didn’t get to ask him what this has all been for. But worst of all, you didn’t even give him a chance at closure.

Softly kicking the blankets back, the rustle of the sheets makes Nico look over. He drops his thumb from his mouth, fiddling with the raw skin instead.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” He apologizes, reaching out for you once you’ve gotten close enough. His hand is cold, even through the shirt you’ve got on and you’re glad you fell asleep with your socks on earlier. You hate the feeling of cold floors.

“You didn’t,” you say, taking a hold of the hand he’s picking at “maybe I just missed you.” You press a kiss to the pad of his thumb, wrapping the digit protectively in your first.

“M’right here,” he eyes your mouth, your tongue instinctively prodding at the scabbed wound under his attention. It stings, not enough to make you outwardly wince but Nico notices anyway. “Should have let me ice that before bed.”

“It’s ok,” you dodge, “just a scratch I swear.” Nico raises his eyebrows, humming like he doesn’t believe you but he’ll let it go, for now.

“Did you have a bad dream?” He cradles your face, eyes examining you like he’s expecting to see physical evidence of a pained sleep.

“No,” you assure, laying your hand over his heart, feeling the steady thump-thump under his skin. Nico wraps you up in his arms, pining you to his chest when you shiver.

Arms squished between your bodies, you happily snuggle into his hold. “Let’s get you back into bed baby,” he murmurs, lips on your temple. Taking him by the hand, you guide him back to the bed, kneeing your way onto the mattress. His body is warm against your back as he follows, collapsing into the pillows.

Mimicking him, you pull the blankets over the both of you. It’s cute, the way his cheek squishes into the pillow, eyes bright even in the dim room. Nico looks younger like this, when it’s just the two of you in the quiet night. No families to sabotage, no Devs boys to watch over. No expectations.

Just you and him.

That spot in your chest throbs again, the emptiness rattling your bones and you squeeze the blankets in your hand, pulling them tighter over you and him. Like that’ll keep everything out.

“Did it feel like this?” You ask, unable to keep the sadness out of your voice. Nico frowns, questioningly. “When it was me up at night, pacing and-and…”

“Scared?”

You nod, the pillowcase rustling in your ear. Nico blinks, gaze morphing from looking at you to looking through you. It’s visible in his eyes that he’s reliving the months after you were taken by Philly, before Johnny and Alex were there to distract you, to help you. How everyday it felt like you were fighting just to breathe. And Nico, he was fighting for everything on behalf of you.

You wonder what moments he sees when he thinks about it, which ones were the worst for him.

“Empty,” he finally croaks, searching your face. “I felt so empty. I wanted to give you everything, I wanted to fix everything and it was hard because I felt like I didn’t have anything to give.”

A lump swells in your throat, pressing tightly into your windpipe and it’s suddenly so stuffy and warm in the room. But the covers feel nice, safe, so you stay buried in them.

“You did do everything,” you tell him “even when it felt like that, just having you with me made it so much better.”

The eyebrow not pressed to the pillow quirks, as if trying to say ‘look at us now, you’re doing the same thing baby’.

“M’not scared,” he murmurs, quiet but not unsure. “About what happened, about my family. Not sad either- I mean of course I’m sad it got you hurt but I’m not sad about…”

“Rino,” you fill in, “you’re not sad that he’s gone.”

Nico’s jaw ticks, the muscles of it flexing as he chews at the inside of his cheek. Unlike his thumb, there no way for you to shield that sensitive piece of skin from his teeth. That doesn’t stop you from frowning though, eyeing the dent in his cheek.

“He never liked me anyway,” Nico finally responds, a yawn stretching his mouth. “I was always just…business. Never a kid to him, never a son, never a man. Never enough, I guess.

“So I didn’t really lose anything. Not in him anyway.”

The rest of the thought goes unspoken, but it’s clear you both know what he’s been contemplating over. Was his mom involved? Did Luca have any idea that Rino was still commanding some of the men here? What about Nina? Was they all in on this gimmick to get Nico back to Switzerland?

You wouldn’t really blame them, if they were. Not that you’re condoning what they did but you know how people feel about Nico. He’s such a strong person, a strong leader, and it almost feels necessary to always have him around. You wouldn’t fault anyone for wanting to have him around, even if you were the collateral damage.

Not that they deserve him. They don’t love Nico the way you do, they don’t see how relaxed and sure of himself he becomes with you, with the Devs. He’s yours to keep and love forever, and as they’ve all seen, you’ll go to hell and back for him.

“How did you deal with it?” You ask, steering away from his family. “That empty feeling?”

All you want to do right now is bundle him up in your arms, tuck him into that hollow part of your chest where no one can ever hurt him again. But that’s impossible, you can’t protect him from everything.

A tiny smile curls at his lips, almost bashful and he’s gesturing over your head. “Hand me my phone.” You shuffle under the covers, stretching across the king sized bed to get his phone off the nightstand.

Nico unlocks it, the screen lighting up his face and he moves onto his back, sitting up on his pillows. You follow, fitting yourself into his side with your head on his shoulder. The hand that finds your hip is warm and safe, almost guarding as it holds you.

Turning his phone to you, he encouraged, Go ahead, take it.”

So you do, blinking away the spots in your vision until the light adjusts and you can see the notes app open on his phone. It doesn’t have a title, but it’s a numbered list.

Sleeping with the tv on

Don’t let her go to the bathroom by herself

Likes when I touch her neck but only softly

Mario voice “it’s a me!”

Talking about her favorite books

Hold her hand when she calls Marino

Car rides with hot coco

Hot coco in general

“Nico what is this?”

He taps at the screen, scrolling all the way to the bottom where the last entry reads Taking care of Alex.

“It’s a list of everything that made you smile or laugh, even for a just a second, for those months after Philly.”

When you think about it, a lot of these moments are things you did with him when you were struggling. Nico stopped setting the sleep timer on the tv and would instead leave it on the channel that plays sitcoms all night. In case you woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. And he would play guard at the bathroom door for you, even at restaurants and grocery stores when you afraid of being left alone. He’d get you a hot drink and the two of you would drive around Jersey and New York for hours, tolls and traffic be damned. Always holding your hand, touching the back of your neck when he could tell you were nervous. And Alex coming to Jersey had been the final thing to pull you out of the hole. You had a young boy that needed help and a family, and you loved him from the moment he stepped off the plane.

You could give him a family. You were happy to even just try.

“There wasn’t much I could do to make you entirely better,” he whispers, pride in his tone “but I could do all of this to make it a little easier.”

A wet giggle escapes you, tears welling in your eyes. You were so miserable then, so numb to everything but him. Nothing mattered to you, but you remember thinking everyday that eventually he wouldn’t want to do this anymore. He’d get tired of fighting to get you out of bed everyday, he’d get tired of sitting with you and counting to a minute while you brushed your teeth, of laying extra towels on the bathroom floor when you showered because you were scared to close the curtain but water would run everywhere.

Yet this whole time, he wasn’t. He spent months watching over you like a hawk, making lists of how he could get you to smile, and even now he sounds happy telling you about it. Like the memories of all this work is a fond thought to him.

“I love your Mario voice,” you giggle, locking his phone. If you read any more of his little notes you’re gonna start crying, for real. “And when I’d play Mario kart as Yoshi and you’d do his little noise.”

Nico moves his phone to the nightstand, grabbing your thigh and hauling you into his lap. He’s smiling when you look at him, cheeks visibly rosy even in the dark. “Yoshi noise,” he reminisces, “was number 15. I’d practice it all the time so that when I did it, it was perfect.”

You try to picture him in the shower, making food, cleaning the apartment, all those moments when you were sleeping or reading and he had time to himself, muttering the little frog noise under his breath, eyebrows pinched together in concentration.

“You’re the most perfect person, ya know that?”

Nico blinks, a little taken aback by the passionate sentiment but he shrugs and smiles, like it’s no big deal. “I just- I wanted you to know I love you. Even if you had a hard time realizing it then.”

You realize it now, how your mourning brain had fogged up all your emotions then, to point that you were so scared of losing of Nico, when in reality there was never a chance of that happening.

You don’t even know what to say, not that you could if you tried, because that bubble of emotion is sitting heavy in your chest. And you’re unsure of how to burst it, of what words would come out.

Nico must know though, because he takes ahold of the back of your neck, soft and gentle, just like he’s always been. “Let’s go for a drive,” he suggests, squeezing just once.

“M’supposed to be doing things that make you feel better, not the other way around.”

He pats your thigh, nudging you to get up. “This makes me better, you letting me taking care of you…I like knowing you trust me like that. It feels-I don’t know but it’s nice.”

‘Never a kid to him, never a son, never a man. Never enough, I guess’. His words from earlier, becoming even clearer now. He was never trusted to be more than just an heir to Rino, to have more responsibilities. Which is why now, as his own grown adult, Nico feels safe when he’s in charge. And he’s good at it, thrives at calling the shots.

“Ok,” you agree, and you let him guide you up from the bed and into the closet. You let him gather one of his sweaters and some leggings, snow boots and warm layers for you to wear. You let him take care of you, knowing that the both of you are safe with each other.

~~~~

The car inches forward, Nico slow and deliberate as he navigates up the steep roads of the mountains. His song plays over the Bluetooth connection, that one from the bar that he sings all the time and even though you can’t fully remember the translation, it makes you smile knowing it’s a love song.

You take a sip of the hot cocoa filled thermos, sucking in a wince when it burns your bottom lip…again.

“Stop,” Nico laughs, tangling his hand in yours after you returned the drink to the cup holder. “Let it cool down.”

“I thought it was!”

He huffs, squeezing your fingers playfully. “You said that five minutes ago too.” The song switches to something instrumental, the car steadily climbs the mountains, and the snow outside begins to brighten.

It’s all so beautiful, the evergreens bending and swooping under puffs of snow. The baby blue rising over the peaks, making them glow in a softened light.

“I know why you left here,” you say, gazing out the passenger window in awe “but it must be so hard to walk away from something so beautiful.”

Nico makes a thoughtful hum, turning the car off the main road and onto a snow packed one. The view gets even better, and you can’t take your eyes off the landscape.

“It was,” he agrees quietly, “but I found prettier things at home in Jersey.” You can feel his eyes on the side of your face, warming your cheeks and neck until you’re sure they’re flush.

“Timo is very pretty,” you reply weakly, clearing your throat to get rid of the jumble of words still caught in your throat.

Nico rolls his eyes, lips curled in amusement as he pulls to the side of the road. It’s a clearing coveted in snow, messed of boot prints marring it but not taking away from its beautiful landscape.

The sun is continuing to rise, blue turning to purple over the mountain tops, the snow brightening even more. You didn’t bring the clothes to go out and run through it, but you’re itching to get out of the car and snap a photo.

Maybe you could even get Nico to take a quick selfie with you, smiling cheeks pressed together with the open valley and mountains behind you.

“What are we doing here?”

Nico lowers the music, stretching out in his seat and gazing out the front windshield with a satisfied little smirk on his face. “Perfect spot to watch the sunrise,” he explains, nodding out to the view “when the sun hits the mountain tops, everything glows.”

You can picture it, the orange and pink glow, reflecting off big fluffy clouds and snowcapped trees, the last few stars twinkling in the brightening sky.

“Can we get out?”

Batting your eyelashes at him, you pull your best puppy dog face. Not that it’s needed, Nico is already looking at you like he’d give you the sun and the stars.

No hesitancy, he’s laughs. “Yeah, course.” Tugging the hood of your jacket up, you pull the laces tight to protect your neck. Then you’re gathering your phone, tucking it into your pocket and soaking up the last bit of heater before getting out.

“Kay,” you grin “let’s go.”

The air is an icy bite, stings your cheeks and makes your eyes water. You shiver, curling into Nico’s jacket further as you slam the car door shut and kick through the snow. He’s barely getting out of the car by the time you’ve rounded the front, messy hair shifting in the wind now that he’s abandoned his hat somewhere in the car.

“Nico,” you scold, shifting on your feet to generate a little body heat “your ears!”’

He shoves through the calf high piles of snow, hands tucked into his pockets and shoulders hunched, but his face is bright. A toothy smile and pink cheeks, dimples accentuating each side.

God, he’s so handsome. You swallow down the lump of words clawing to get out, reminding yourself that he always has a plan and intention. He’ll say them, he knows what he’s doing. And you trust him.

“Nothing like frozen ear drums to wake you up in the morning.” He jokes, and you step into him, humming at how warm he is even through the wind and layers. You stay huddled together for a few moments, Nico’s nose pressed into the top of your head.

The sun continues to rise, speeding towards the mountains tops and everything grows lighter and lighter. Mountains turn purple and pink, clouds bursting orange and yellow, edging out the dark hues of dawn. Once it all turns gold you pull away from him, the chill even worse after getting used to being tucked into his side.

Slipping your phone out of your pocket, you step closer to the clearing and pull up your camera. You snap a couple photos of the sun rising, tree tops peaking into the edge of the frame. The snow crunches under Nico’s boots behind you, and you’re reminded to get a picture with him.

“Nico,” you sing out, innocently, examining the photos you took as you turn to him. He makes a noise like he’s listening, and you lock your phone. “Can we-“

Everything freezes. The wind stops blowing, the sun halts its ascent, your fingers lock around your phone in a death grip. He’s kneeling, Nico is kneeling in the deep and powdery snow, his frozen fingers locked around a familiar black box.

You must look shocked or surprised or whatever that hot feeling bubbling in your gut is because Nico laughs, just one wobbling little chuckle. Hastily, you shove your phone in your pocket, but then you have no idea what do with your frozen fingers.

“Y/n,” Nico says, like he knows your brain is going a mile a minute “baby.” It’s like he’s calling you, voice a siren song that digs into the nerve endings of your brain and it makes all that noise fade away.

Instinctively, you drop to your knees with him, cushioned by the snow and the double layer of leggings and jeans. He holds out his hand to you, the one not holding the little black box, and you take it between both of yours, warming his fingers between your palms.

“You have completely turned my life upside down, ya know that? Or I don’t know, maybe you turned it right side up because now that I know what it’s like to love you, to have you, I don’t know how I ever lived before.

“Everything feels right when I’m with you, like every moment before us was just steering me to you. You match me, stride for stride. You’re the perfect amount of calm where I’m crazy, of smart where I’m stupid, of solid when I’m impulsive.

“You’ve learned and accepted my lifestyle as if it were second knowledge. You’ve taken my boys and made them your own. You’ve taken me and taught me what it means to actually love and be loved. And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to show you the same. My darling love, you’ve been a Hischier for a while now, but what do you say we make it official? Will you please marry me?”

The snow has seeped through your pants, soaked into the soft skin of your knees and shins but it doesn’t matter. Maybe you’re numb from the cold, but either way you can’t even feel it. Not with Nico in front of you, eyes wide and glossy with love as he releases your hand to snap open the box.

And there, tucked between two pillowy cushions is the ring you only heard about in passing. It’s not the beautiful and intricate green emerald one from his mother, but instead one of his own design.

A thin gold band, shiny and sleek. A large, round diamond sits in the center, sparkling in the morning sunlight. But the most beautiful part is the tiny pearls beside it, wrapped around the diamond in a delicate band.

Pearls, traditional and elegant and significant for the lifestyle Nico and you live. A diamond, new and modern but just as beautiful. The best of both worlds.

“Yes,” you cry, a wet laugh bubbling out of you. “Of course I’ll marry you, Schao.”

He’s sniffling when he pulls the ring out of the box, taking your freezing and trembling hand in his steady one. The ring slips effortlessly over your knuckle, settling onto your left hand like it’s always belonged there.

“It’s perfect Nico,” you murmur, swiping at your wet cheeks. He licks his lips, nodding in agreement as he delicately runs his thumb over the diamond.

“Yeah it is,” he looks at you, lashes dark and clumped together with tears, his nose and cheeks rosy. “Come here, you’re fucking freezing.”

You’re practically jumping him, arms around his neck and you crash into him so hard he stumbles back into the snow. It’s so fucking cold, wetting his hair and stinging your hands but it doesn’t stop you from smothering him in kisses.

All along his cold cheek bones, on the tip of his glowing nose, on the dimple of his chin, and then finally his lips, chapped from the wind and tears. You hold his face and he holds you, numb hands cherishing each other like the precious gems on your ring.

“I love you,” you whisper into his lips, eyes fluttering open. “You have no idea how hard I’ve been fighting all day to not ask you first.”

He giggles, pecking at your mouth once more. “Yeah?” He kisses you again. “Is that why you went quiet on me?”

You nod, just barely because you don’t really want to stop kissing him. Pushing his hair off his forehead, you kiss between his eyebrows.

“I love you too baby.” He holds the back of your neck, the hoodie protecting you from his frigid fingers. “So fucking much.”

Then he squeezes, just once and you melt back into him, stealing his lips for more kisses. Frostbite be damned.

At least for the moment because after a bit you can feel him shivering, and your hands are so cold they feel like they’re burn off.

“Let’s go warm up,” he pants, breathless and beautiful when you sit up. You climb up from his lap, cheeks aching from smiling and he follows suit, groaning as he digs himself out from the snow angel he’s unintentionally made.

You both dart back to the car, boots crunching and joints protesting but the blast of heat that engulfs you once you get in is so worth it. Tugging off your hood, it takes some wiggling and shuffling but you kick off your boots and wet jeans too, tossing them to the backseat.

Nico reaches for the dash, grabbing for his phone and you realize where his hat from earlier went. He’s balled it up on the dash, phone propped up on it and his camera open and recording the scene in front of you.

He willingly froze his head off in favor of capturing your engagement.

“Well aren’t you a doll,” you tease, making him chuckle bashfully. He tugs his beanie back over his head, tossing his own wet jacket into the backseat.

“For photos,” he reasons, handing you his phone “think one of you tackling me would look real nice over our bed.”

That makes you laugh, setting his phone in your lap while you up the heat on the seat warmers and fish the thermos of hot coco out from the cup holder. Nico’s rubbing his hands together, trying to get them warm while you take a drink.

Perfect temperature. Almost like he planned it to be ready for when you’d get back in the car.

Suspiciously, you eye him and hand over the thermos. All he does is grin though, taking his own drink and winking at you playfully.

Either he’s really lucky, or he’s one smooth fucker.

“Come on, show me the video already!” He laughs when you’ve just been staring at him. Scoffing, you pick the phone up and lean over the console.

“Can I kiss my fiancé first or is that against the rules?”

It’s almost dizzying how struck and lovesick he looks after hearing that. Like he’s been waiting his whole life to hear that name fall from your lips.

~~~~

The bedroom door clicks softly behind Nico, overly cautious to not disturb the boys still sleeping in the other rooms. You drop the pile of wet and soggy clothes off to the side, biting your lip when Nico takes a hold of your hip. He’s gentle when he turns you, crowding you into the door. His palm comes up to cradle you jaw, thumbing at your bottom lip until you release it from between your teeth.

“Hi,” you whisper, the words settling into the stillness around you two. Nico’s eyes crinkle, gaze warm as it washes over you.

“Hey,” he replies, just as quiet. His lips ghost against yours, soft and hot compared to the kisses you shared in the snow. “Can I get you out of those wet clothes?”

You belly swoops pleasantly. “Yes please.”

Boyishly, he chuckles and presses his hand into your face, tilting your chin until he can peck your forehead. “Me too?”

Your smile grows. “Yes please.”

Squeezing your hip, his hands find the edge of his hoodie on your body, dragging it up your body and over your head. It gets tossed to the side with the other wet clothes. Then he’s taking a hold of your long sleeve and doing the same.

Back and forth it goes, you repeating the motions on him, and then him on you until every piece of clothing has been thrown carelessly to the floor. Your mouth finds his, cradling the back of his neck and you walk him back towards the bed.

As if expecting the move, Nico’s arms find your waist, hauling you up until your toes can’t touch the floor. Helpless, you wrap your legs around him, clinging to his shoulders.

He pulls back to see where he’s walking, fingers rubbing circles in your lower back and you lay your head on his shoulder, lazily mouthing at the juncture of his throat and collarbone.

Nico tosses you to the mattress, your body sinking into fluffy duvet and pillows with a shocked yelp. Standing before you, a hand on his hip and the most beautiful you’ve ever seen, Nico grabs at your thigh.

“My first time,” he says thoughtfully, “m’so nervous.”

He knees his way onto the mattress, your thighs spreading to accommodate his frame. “This is not your first time,” you laugh, goosebumps rising on your skin as he drags his palm up the inside of your thigh.

“S’my first time with my fiancée,” he retorts cheekily, pressing his chest to yours. Then he’s pressing his mouth to yours, teasingly licking at the seam of your lips, slow and tenderly, taking his time.

After all, what’s the rush when you get him for the rest of your life.

~~~~

The house is still quiet when you and Nico tiptoe down the stairs, your left hand intertwined with his and he absentmindedly swipes his ring finger into the band on yours.

It’s cute, you think, how obsessed with it he is. Not that you blame him, you never want to take your eyes off it. It’s beautiful and all you can think about is how Nico picked it for you, that he found it with the intention of knowing that it represents you and him forever.

Nico can feel you watching him, knows by the way you stumble into his side and he has to guide you through the living room. His lips quirk up into an amused smile, gaze flicker to meet yours as you cross into the kitchen and you giggle.

Wordlessly, he stops and wraps his arm around your shoulders, drawing you into him. Rising to your toes, you sweetly kiss at the corner of his mouth. Nico’s hand finds your ass, pressing you even closer to him and you make a move for his lips-

“Whoa PG in the kitchen please.”

Nico and you jolt simultaneously, your hand briefly squeezing his as you instinctively move behind him. He’s seemed to have the same reaction, turning as if he were going to shield you before freezing.

“Holy fuck Timo,” Nico gasps, his hold on you easing up “when the fuck did you get here?”

You sigh in relief, relaxing into Nico’s shoulder and trying to calm your racing heart. Apparently this trip has made you more jumpy than you’ve ever been, not that it’s not justified. You were kidnapped, choked, knocked on conscious, and slapped all within few weeks.

“Like ten minutes ago, why are you acting like I pulled gun on you-what the hell happened to you?”

Timo gapes when you look at him, dropping his half eaten toast to the counter and rushing towards you. He basically shoves Nico off of you to take a hold of your face.

“Long story,” you mutter, batting him away “we’ll tell you later when we go to finish the job.”

Nico takes ahold of your hand again, squeezing reassuringly. You can’t help it, you attach to him like two magnet ends, body and mind and soul aching to hold him.

“Are we gonna have to kill anyone again?” Timo frowns, “Because I just got the stains out of my pants.”

You look up at Nico, waiting for his lead. His lips purse, head tilting to the side like he’s thinking about it. “Nah probably not.” Timo slumps in relief. “Now tell us what happened with Amelia?”

Your friend’s whole demeanor perks up at that, blue eyes brightening and eyes crinkling with a huge smile. “We talked for hours,” he gushes, moving back around the counter for his toaster. “About everything! She talked about the shows she’s skated in and her lessons. And I told her about Jersey and the Devs, how big it’s all gotten.

“She wasn’t even freaked out either when I gave her like details on what we do. If anything, she was proud. She kept saying that she knew me and Nico would be big one day.”

He pauses, inhaling three large bites of toast. Crumbs scatter to the plate and countertop. “Timo, that’s great!” You encourage, but he’s not done. Holding up a finger as he chews and swallows.

“So she decided we’d give it a shot, yeah? Not dive head first like you psychos but we’re gonna do long distance and she’ll come visit more, feel it out? But I have a really good feeling about it.”

You’re already overly tender heart swells, and for the first time in a while, everything feels almost perfect. Timo is finally back with the girl he loves after years of enduring an ocean between them. You and Nico are getting married. You’re going home, back to Jersey and Moose and the house that will now have a roof over two Hischier heads.

“Timo, man congrats.” Nico says, awe in his voice. He must be realizing it too, soaking in the moment of things feeling right again.

We’re exactly where we’re supposed to be.

Nico lets go of you in favor of wrapping Timo in a hug so tight it looks bone crushing. Timo chuckles, his grin mirroring Nico’s and they affectionately pat at each other’s chest. “Timo and Amelia, back together. Just like ol’ times.”

“That makes us sound like we’re forty.”

They giggle like school girls, your chest aching at the sight of the man you love with his oldest friend, still acting like they haven’t aged a day since turning 15.

“Will you quiet down,” Jack grumbles, annoyed and half asleep as him and the other boys shuffle into the kitchen. They’re still in their pajamas, bed head and pillow creases on their cheeks. Mercer looks at you, blinking a few times like he’s trying to make himself alert.

“Timo sounds like a fucking goal horn,” Luke adds, equally as grumpy as his brother. It must be a Hughes thing, their repulsion to the mornings.

“And all Nico does is giggle,” Jack glares at him, blue eyes glossy and swollen with exhaustion. He shoulders past Timo and Nico, heading straight for the coffee pot.

Nico looks to you, rolling his eyes but before you can even react back Mercer is there, large and gangly torso blocking your view. Confused, you look up at him curiously.

“Good morning Dawson,” you greet, but he just frowns, looking you up and down. You don’t miss the way he lingers on your busted lip, lips pouting. But then his gaze dips lower, trailing over where your arms are crossed and to your hands.

His gaze shoots up to yours, eyebrows raised in shock and something else. Maybe he’s…impressed? Like he thought Nico and you were gonna keep putting it off or something. Though you suppose he has taking into account that they’ve been telling him since Philly to put a ring on you.

“Nice ring,” he murmurs, voice scratchy and a toothless grin rises on his face. The kitchen goes silent, not even the quiet puff of breathes breaking the silence. Two heads peek over his shoulders, Luke and Alex looking at you expectantly.

“What ring?”

“You guys got married without us?”

Bashfully, you giggle, rolling your eyes at their dramatics. “No just engaged.” You dismiss, waving them off.

The kitchen erupts, a coffee cup clattering to the counter top as Jack and Timo leap to crowd in with the other three. They’re all jeering and shouting things at you, grabbing for your left hand and you laugh. Helpless to their excitement, you let them tug you around and show off the ring.

“I never would’ve guessed you be the first to get married,” Timo teases, whipping around the engulf Nico in a big hug again. Over the top of Luke’s tangled curls you catch Nico’s blush, the big toothy smile on his face. Until you’re being squashed into four pairs of arms.

Like a bunch of children on the playground, you and the boys all squeal and hop around in a jumbled group hug, the only thing keeping you from being bumped over is them.

“Part the Red Sea, please!” Timo shoves them apart, making a gap between Mercer and Alex wide enough to squish Nico in. You happily accept his open arms, let him wrap them around your waist and tuck his face into your neck. The group hug closes up, everyone squeezing you tight.

Giggling, you stroke through Nico’s bed head and he smacks sweet kisses to the side of your neck. You close your eyes, soak in the warm words and arms of those you love. Of your boys.

~~~~

Nico fiddles with his hair in the mirror, tucking it behind his ears and then tilting his head, bottom lip between his teeth as he examines it. Then he untucks it, shaking it out with his fingers and starting again.

“Baby,” you cap the perfume you were rolling onto your wrists. He hums in acknowledgment. “Are you ok? You seem nervous.”

He stops, gaze flickering to meet yours through the reflection. You’re taken back to all those weeks ago when he was first asking you to come to Switzerland, how he was fidgety and wide eyed all night. Did he have all this planned then? A proposal? Or did it just look out that way?

“Yeah,” he croaks, swallowing roughly. “I’m-I am nervous. I mean I’m ok but yeah.”

Placing your perfume on the counter, you slide over to him. Nico turns, propping himself up against the bathroom counter and you step between his parted legs. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Your hand trails up his chest, stroking over the soft fabric of knitted sweater. He looks so snuggly, so sweet you want to wrap him in your arms.

Nico grabs at your hip, eyebrows pinching in pain as he sorts through his worries and thoughts. “I don’t know what’ll happen,” he says carefully “I hate that, not knowing. Especially when it comes to you.”

You smile, thumb fondly tracing over the lines of his throat. His five o’clock shadow scratches at the pad of your finger. “It always works out Nico,” you assure “we can’t know everything, but we’re always prepared, right?”

A grateful smile curls his lips for a moment, but his eyes blink at you sadly. “What if they knew?” He asks “what if they were all in on it? This whole time, after I trusted them? I’ll do it, but I don’t want to have to say goodbye again.”

That empty throbbing feeling from this morning returns, clanging painfully against your ribs and heart. Nico didn’t get to say goodbye to his father, didn’t get to talk to him at all. You took over, you took that goodbye from him without even realizing how it could hurt him.

“Nico,” you sigh, guilty “I should’ve talked to you about Rino before I did anything. Dragging Mercer in there all guns a blazing and forcing him from your life…I mean you didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

You think about that day in the hospital when Nico left. You knew exactly what he was doing, where he was going. It broke your heart that he lied right to your face in front of all his family. It hurt you that he was making decisions for you.

And yet, you did the same. Maybe the circumstances weren’t exactly similar, but you didn’t even hint to him about Rino. No, you sent him out on a day with the boys while you destroyed the sliver of a relationship he might have had with his father.

Nico’s watching you curiously, eyes boring into yours. You wonder what he’s looking for, what he thinks you’re holding back or shielding from that apology maybe. What intention is he looking for?

“I get it,” you add “how you felt with Lena. I didn’t even really think. I was just so mad that he could do that to you, that he’d hurt you like that and I reacted. I wanted to protect you, but I shouldn’t have done it like that.”

He looks pained almost, like your words crawled down his throat and into his gut, twisting and knotting everything up. But he also looks…angry. Eyebrows scrunched and gaze dark, his jaw ticking.

“When are you gonna get it?” He asks, not mean but frustrated. His grip on your hips tightens, dragging you closer to him. “What happened, all this stuff wasn’t done to me. It was done to you, they hurt you.

“I don’t care if it was done to get to me, it actually, physically hurt you. So you don’t have to apologize for what they did, for taking Mercer and confronting Rino. Anyone that would lay a finger on you isn’t my friend or family.

“You are. You’re my family baby, and that’s all I care about.”

Maybe it’s the emotions of the day. Between his proposal, Timo getting together with Amelia, the boys loving on you too, and now this? Or maybe it’s just the fact that the sweetest, most understanding and loving man in the world chooses everyday to love you. Whatever it is, you sniffle back tears, blinking wetly at Nico.

One of his large hands cups your face, thumb gently wiping under your teary eyes. He eyes you lovingly, gaze warm and comforting and for some reason that makes you cry more.

“Eesh,” he laughs, tucking your face into his chest. “Why are you crying baby?”

“I don’t know!” You cry , hiding in the comfort of his embrace. His chest rumbles with laughter, lips smiling against the top of your head and he nuzzles into you.

“Ok.”

After a moment you’ve stopped sniffling, Nico wiping at your cheeks and eyes with the sleeves of his sweater. “Pretty,” he murmurs, a sweet grin dimpling his cheeks. Blushing, you press a kiss to his chin.

“I think everything with your family will work out exactly how it’s supposed to,” you assure him, heart fluttering in your chest when he reaches for your left hand. His gaze sparkles as he examines your ring, thumbing over your knuckle thoughtfully.

“Yeah,” he agrees “I just…I don’t know. I really hope Katja wasn’t apart of it. I thought everything was fine after she came to check on you.”

You hum, unsure of what to say. You can’t guarantee Katja wasn’t a part of it. You also can’t guarantee that she wasn’t. If it were you and Nico, he’d never keep you in the dark about a deal like that. He’d have you right next to him the whole time, through planning, preparing, and even execution.

But Katja and Rino aren’t like you and Nico.

He presses a kiss to the palm of your hand, long eyelashes fluttering as he does so and you think of the day Katja took you for a drive. Rino excluded her from everything, she had no say over what the business did. And you could tell she hated it, especially by the way she lit up when she realized Nico treats you as an equal in the Devs family.

Startled, you look up at Nico with wide eyes. His eyebrows furrow, grip on your hands tightening. “What? What is it?”

“She knew,” you say, “Katja knew. But she wasn’t in on it.”

Her threats in the car, her insisting you weren’t safe with Nico weren’t threats at all. She wasn’t condemning you and Nico for having a life in Jersey, she was warning you. Rino’s plan for his kids, Nico’s stubbornness and ability to push back against his family. Rino’s loathing of insubordination, especially his youngest sons.

He didn’t agree with how Nico rebranded his life and was running the Devs. Katja was warning you that Rino was taking action against Nico.

“Nico she was warning me. She was trying to save us.”

[drunkinyourbenz]

can you do a billie with reader who has her period and it feels like literal hell please?

୨ৎ whatever you need. b.e

୨ৎ billie eilish x fem!reader

୨ৎ genre: fluff

୨ৎ content: period cramps (obviously), overwhelmed reader, established relationship, this is soooo fluffy and billie's big on physical affection!!

୨ৎ note: anon baby u read my mind my period started today and ugh it’s literal hell so writing this came sooo naturally to me because this is exactly what i need rn (cried while writing this i'm so so emotional) i tried very hard not to make it super specific to my experiences so this is basically my morning minus my specific symptoms and plus billie!! i hope this brings u some much needed comfort baby, we're in this together <3

when you woke up, the sun was barely even peeking through the curtains, and your room was still bathed in darkness. you reached for your phone, groaning at the bright screen and rubbing your bleary eyes. two am, that’s what your phone read. that’s when it hit you, the sharp pain in your lower abdomen, a pain so intense you had no idea how you hadn’t noticed it straight away. you groaned, rolling over in bed and burying your head in your pillow, squeezing your eyes shut. your nails dug into your palms, anything to distract you from the constant excruciating pain you were feeling. 

after about half an hour, you dragged yourself out of bed. you trudged into the kitchen, where you ate half a mandarin before taking some pain medication. the meds didn’t tend to work, but you’d do anything to think you were making it better. you managed to force yourself to take a quick shower, just to freshen up. after the shower, you got changed into one of billie’s oversized t-shirts and some shorts, and you collapsed back into your bed. you were well aware that you should get yourself a heating pad, but you didn’t have the energy. 

after about half an hour of laying there with your legs hugged halfway to your chest, begging for the cramps to just disappear magically, you remembered something. today was a day where billie had a big surprise date planned out for you, and you really didn’t want to be a buzzkill, but… 

you grabbed your phone again, going straight to billie’s contact. you typed out a few messages, deleting them over and over again, before finally settling on one. 

hi baby, i’m so sorry i don’t think i can make our date 

it didn’t take long for billie to respond, and just over a minute later, you had a new text from her. there was no disappointment or frustration in the message, just concern.

bils: you okay angel? it’s 3am?

you stared at the text for a moment before responding simply.

eh, cramps. 

that time, her response was instant. you could picture the concerned expression on her face, and you were hit with a wave of adoration for her. she just cared so much. 

bils: aw baby, i’m coming over rn, okay??

no bils it’s 3am you don’t have to don’t wanna be a bother 

bils: please, u could never bother me bils: i’m coming over, end of story

you pouted softly, overwhelmed with love for her. 

i love you

bils: i love you more bils: anything you need me to bring?

just you and maggie’s baking if u have any

bils: ofc ofc i’m omw mama

before you knew it, billie had gotten to your place. you heard your front door open, she had a spare key that she used once in a while in situations like this or when you weren’t home. you heard her soft footsteps approaching your room, and soon enough your door opened and she walked in. she had on some sweatpants and a baggy hoodie, and a bag in her hands. 

“hi, angel.” she walked up to your bed, leaning down and kissing your forehead. her voice was soft and soothing, and you were reminded then that you could literally just listen to her talk for hours on end.

you opened your mouth to speak, but she continued talking before you could. “i brought some of mum’s cookies, you can have as many as you want. anything you need? can i get you a heating pad or some tea? what about pain meds?”

in reality, all you wanted was to curl up in bed to her and cling to her like she was your lifeline, but you knew that a heating pad would be the wise decision. so you nodded, “i’ve taken my pain meds, but a heating pad would be nice…”

billie quickly left the room and grabbed you a heating pad, passing it to you so you could put it wherever was most comfortable. she looked like she was about to ask what else you needed, so you bet her to it. you opened your arms up, holding them out for her and pouting up at her from the bed. a smile spread across her lips, and she didn’t waste time climbing under the covers with you and wrapping her arms around you. her fingers found your hair, and she let them gently brush through it. 

your head nuzzled into the crook of billie’s neck as you closed your eyes, fiddling with the edge of her hoodie to try and distract yourself from the pain. you could feel her eyes on you, and after a long moment, you lifted your head from where you’d hidden it. “i’m sorry ‘bout our date. i know you planned it all out.” your voice came out in a mumble, muffled against billie’s shoulder. 

she kept stroking your hair softly, “don’t apologise, baby. it’s totally out of your control. plus, there’ll be other days we can reschedule it to. i’d rather you be at home and comfortable.” she paused to press a kiss to the top of your head. “i love you, and i’d go wherever you asked, even at 3am. you’re not burdening me with anything, i promise.” 

you could already feel yourself getting overwhelmed with emotions at her sweet words, another thing that your period often caused. you groaned softly, burying your head back into the crook of her neck. “shut up, i’ll cry if you keep being so cute.”

billie just giggled, pressing another kiss to the top of your head, then your forehead, then your nose. “love youuu!” she said in a singsong voice, clearly trying to distract you from the fact that the date couldn’t go ahead. 

you knew that she was trying to take your mind off it, and you didn’t mind. it was reassuring that she was happy just to be there with you. the two of you spent a while just cuddled up together, when another wave of cramps hit. your cramps were constant, but some definitely worse than others. you groaned under your breath, your grip subconsciously tightening on the hem of billie’s hoodie.

she looked down at you, asking again with that ever so soothing voice. “need anything, angel?” 

you simply hummed, trying your best not to just double over in pain and not speak for the rest of the day. after a moment, you mumbled, “herbal tea? and maggie’s cookies?” 

billie leaned down and kissed your forehead, “at your service.” 

she spoke with a small playful grin on her face, and slipped out of the bed. she returned a few minutes later, a mug of lavender tea in her hands and a plate of maggie’s cookies. after placing those on your bedside table, she reached for her bag, pulling out another hoodie. it was one of the ones she wore most, and therefore also one of the ones that you wore most. you were the hoodie thief of the relationship, and billie certainly didn’t mind—if anything, she encouraged it. 

she slipped the hoodie over your head, and you let out a sigh when her smell enveloped you. it smelt like a mix of her perfume and that one moisturiser she used every single day and loved more than life itself. you hummed in satisfaction, “this one’s my favourite.”

billie chuckled, slipping your arms into the hoodie. “trust me, i’m well aware.”

she held the mug of tea up to your lips so you could take a sip, and she felt her heart warm at the small smile that spread across your lips. 

soon, billie slipped back into bed with you. the cramps were still tearing you apart from the inside and you still felt like absolute hell, but at least she was there with you—that made it a tiny bit better. 

the next half hour passed in a comfortable silence, the only movements being billie giving you a gentle kiss or stroking your hair. it didn’t take long, however, for a thought that you had pushed from your frustrated mind to return. it lingered there, clawing at your brain until you finally spoke. 

“i hate that this happened so close to christmas. i still have presents to wrap. i had so much i needed to do, and now i’m just–” 

“i can wrap your presents.” billie’s calming voice cut through the mess of thoughts in your brain, and you fell silent—only for a moment, though. 

“but–” 

“shhh, baby. no buts. i’ll wrap any presents that aren’t for me. i want to help you, yeah?” 

a pout made it’s way to your lips, “you’re too good to me. i can wrap maggie’s and—” 

“angel, i’m not going to tell my family what you got them. just let me help you, yeah?” 

after a long pause, you relented. “...yeah. thank you.” billie smiled, kissing your forehead once again and squeezing your hand. “It’s nothing. i’ll stay with you today: wrap your presents, make a nice warm dinner, run you a bath, and cuddle you to sleep.” 

at that, your heart practically melted. you weren’t sure if it was the period making you extra emotional or just the love you held in your heart for her. you were so full of adoration for this girl, you had no idea how she managed to be so completely and utterly perfect. she knew you like the back of her hand, she knew just how to make your day better, she knew just how to bring that smile to your face. sometimes you swore she knew you better than you knew yourself. 

you spoke again, your voice soft. “what did i ever do to deserve someone as perfect as you?” 

billie smiled and kissed your forehead again. “you deserve all the good things in the world, my beautiful girl. i’m just lucky to be one of them.”

[judeswhore]

santa baby

summary: you have an extra special gift for jude this christmas

pairing: jude bellingham x fem!reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings: 18+, hints of brothers bsf!jude, grinding, mentions of sex

notes: i Need him!!! you can find my masterlist here. i might make a second part to this

"can i open my eyes yet?" jude asked. he was seated at the very edge of your mattress, legs spread wide and arms behind him as he rested back on his palms, the perfect picture of calm. the barely noticeable tick in his jaw was the only giveaway that he was on edge and it sent a thrill through you knowing just how much you affected him. it boosted your confidence, made this little show feel a lot more exciting despite the slightly nervous tremor in your fingers.

for a few quiet moments you simply admired the man in front of you, basked in the opportunity to drink him in without his eyes on you. he was shirtless, per your request and the sight of his bare chest and that teasing ladder of hair made you a little dry mouthed, filled your head with endless fantasies. dragging your gaze upwards you settled on his face, on the stubble covering his jaw, the soft curve of his lips and his lashes, so unfairly long, they made you jealous. he was stupidly pretty, gorgeous in a way that had landed you in trouble the second your brother had brought him home. jude was supposed to be off limits. yet here he was, half naked in your room and growing slightly impatient with your surprise.

"babe?"

"hmm?" you hummed softly, still caught up in running your eyes over his arms, cheeks growing hot at the bulge of his biceps. you wanted to sink your teeth into them, into his shoulders and chest, to mark and claim him despite all the reasons you shouldn't. jude's huff of laughter brought your attention back to his face.

"can i open my eyes?"

"oh." you coughed quietly to clear your throat and straightened up, prepared to spin as you double checked your outfit was perfect. "yeah, you can open your eyes." you held your breath and watched his lashes flutter open, watched almost in slow motion as his jaw dropped, dark gaze bouncing rapidly over your body. he didn’t seem to know where he wanted to look most, a soft curse falling from his lips as he suddenly sat up straight.

you gave him a slow twirl, felt the tiny skirt you were wearing lift up just slightly and you were rewarded with a low groan from jude at the peak of your ass beneath. the outfit was simple enough, a tiny red skirt, equally as tiny red bra and a santa hat but the boy in front of you was staring as though you were a prized painting. it made your pulse thunder and your skin felt hot and prickly wherever his eyes roamed. goosebumps had risen across your chest because jude’s gaze was suddenly pinned to your boobs.

“merry christmas, jude.”

“holy shit.” he gave a light, breathless laugh, swallowed harshly and twisted his finger in the air. “fuck, gimme another spin.” you did as you were told, twirled for him and then stopped with your hands on your hips. a smile tugged your lips.

“what do you think?”

“what do i- jesus christ.”

“yeah?” you raised your eyebrows at his obvious lack of words, at the dazed look he was wearing and the desire burning in his eyes. jude bit down on his bottom lip, head shaking as he tracked every inch of your body and the heat of his gaze felt like the caress of his fingers over your bare skin. up along your legs, lingering just slightly on your thighs before sliding over your bare stomach, drinking in the way your boobs half spilled from the slightly too small cups and then over your face and to the little hat sitting lopsidedly on your head. he was grinning by that point.

“you’re gorgeous. it’s- i don’t- how do you look so fuckin’ good?” he groaned low in his throat, sounding almost like he was in pain. “that skirt.” a half shy smile was making its way onto your face as you fiddled with the hem of the skirt, hyper aware of the bulge that had appeared in jude’s shorts and even more aware of the way his hand had wandered only inches from it.

“i have something else for you.”

“something else?” jude gaped a little, shifted on your mattress to adjust his shorts but it did nothing to hide his cock. you swallowed, swiped your tongue along your bottom lip before slowly making your way over to him, hips swaying as you tried your hardest not to look ridiculous. the way this boy was looking at you however suggested that wasn’t a possibility. you came to a stop in front of him, tits so close to his face that jude simply couldn’t help himself as he leant forward, nipped softly at the flesh spilling out over the material before soothing the mark with a kiss. he glanced up at you through his lashes, eyes so dark they almost had you gasping for air. “what more could you possibly have?”

with your hands on his shoulders, you pressed your knees into the mattress on either side of his thighs, settled yourself in his lap only inches from his aching cock. you could feel the heat of him and wanted nothing more than to sink down onto him but you wanted jude to see the last part of your little gift. unable to stop yourself from teasing, you lowered your hips, ground down a little so you could drag your pussy over the tent in his shorts and grinned at the low hiss he let out. his hands clamped down on your waist.

“lift the skirt up.” your voice was a low command, silky smooth and you felt him shudder beneath you, watched his eyes fall closed for a moment when you lifted yourself back off his lap and simply hovered.

jude’s hands settled on your thighs and his fingers were soft as they slid up until they rested at the hem of your skirt. he fiddled with it for a second before flipping the material up, revealing your silky red underwear and his jaw ticked when he spotted just what it was you wanted to show him. stitched across the front of your underwear in pretty white thread, was one simple word, jude.

“thought you’d like it.” you whispered, heart thudding in your chest at his silence, heat flooding your cheeks because jude simply couldn’t look away. his throat bobbed on a swallow, lashes fluttering as he blinked once, twice before finally dragging his gaze back up to yours.

“you’re not real.” he didn’t give you chance to reply to that as he tipped his head to kiss you, lips slotting messily over yours as he curled one hand around the back of your neck to pull you closer. his other hand flattened against the top of your thigh, your skirt falling over his fingers as you settled back down into his lap.

for the next few minutes you simply got lost in his kisses, in the slow drag of his tongue over yours and the occasional nip of his teeth against your bottom lip. nothing mattered but jude’s mouth and the feel of his cock beneath you as you rocked slowly against him, unaware of the damp spot that was slowly spreading over the crotch of your new underwear. a startled whine bled past your lips when jude’s hand shifted beneath your skirt and his thumb pressed firmly over your clit. he rubbed it in soft, slow circles that matched the lazy press of his lips.

“want you to keep these on.” he mumbled, words muffled as he started to work his lips and teeth along your jaw. his hand had knocked your hat slightly askew and when he pulled back he helped to fix it for you, grinning dark and dirty at you when you eyed him in confusion.

“hm?” you were a little dazed, rocking into his hand and down onto his cock, fingers sunk deep into his shoulders for purchase. you choked on a quiet moan when his fingers slipped down and pressed against your already soaked hole, pushed against the damp material of the underwear he was now so infatuated with.

“y’gonna ride my cock like a good girl,” he told you, fingers deftly hooking into the material and tugging it to the side. two fingers brushed over your pussy, circled your clit before sliding back down. “but i want you to keep this pretty little outfit on, okay?”

[yassbishimvintage]

Hold Me Close

Warnings: Smut, Fluffy fluff, Mentions of Loss.

Word Count: 9.6k

MDNI! Read at your own risk. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

A/N: I got a little carried away with this but I hope y'all like it. And thank y'all for the love and support.

Today was the day he was coming back from Shelby Springs. He told her bits and pieces of the story, but the one that she knew hurt the most was that he lost Mike. His cousin that he loved like a brother. 

When he gets home Imani sees the truck he was supposed to buy with his cousin. She rushes outside. “Babe! Babe!” She says to him as he pulls in the driveway. 

He looked broken. When he steps out the truck she notices his arms has bruises and he has a hospital band on his arm. “T? What happened?” She asks. “Too much to talk about, I just want you.” He says wrapping her in a hug.

He’s clearly overwhelmed by everything, and in this moment, he’s seeking solace and comfort from Imani rather than diving into the details. His hug is a way of finding temporary escape from the chaos, a need for closeness and reassurance in the face of everything that’s happened.

Imani felt the weight of his pain in that moment, understanding that he’s not ready to share everything yet, but also feeling the need to be there for him—whether that means offering support or giving him space to heal.

She nods and leads him into their house. He looks around their kitchen. Thanks to the Vet loan that helped them build their house. This was something he gifted her after he got out the Marines. She sits him down in the kitchen to tend to his wounds. 

As Terry looks around, the weight of the moment might hit him. This house is a reflection of the life they both wanted, and now, with everything that has happened, it might feel like a bittersweet reminder of what was supposed to be. Imani leading him to the kitchen shows her nurturing side—she’s not just comforting him emotionally but making sure he’s physically okay as well.

Once seated, there’s a quiet intimacy to this moment. Imani is probably waiting for him to open up at his own pace, giving him the space to breathe and gather himself. She might be worried but is likely holding off on asking too many questions, understanding that Terry needs time to process.

Imani’s soft, reassuring words—“You know you can talk when you’re ready, baby”—are exactly the kind of support Terry needs in this moment. She’s offering him a safe space to open up without pressure, letting him know that she’s there for him whenever he’s ready to share. Her tone is lsoothing, a reminder that she’s not going anywhere, and that he doesn’t have to face this burden alone.

Terry’s response, “I know,” in a voice barely above a whisper, shows just how much he’s holding inside. There’s an acknowledgment that he’s aware of Imani’s support, but he’s not ready to fully open up just yet. His whisper suggests the emotional weight is still too heavy for him to voice out loud. It’s clear that Terry feels the depth of the situation, and even though he appreciates Imani’s presence, he’s still processing everything on his own terms.

In this quiet exchange, there’s an understanding between them: Terry needs time, but he also knows that when he’s ready, Imani will be there to listen. The moment feels fragile but intimate, as if both are waiting for the right time for Terry to truly open up.

After patching him up, Imani sitting with Terry in silence speaks volumes about her understanding of what he needs in that moment. She doesn't try to force conversation; instead, she lets the silence settle between them, providing the space he needs to process everything. Her quiet presence speaks to her deep respect for his emotional state—she knows that sometimes, words aren't necessary. Just being there is enough.

For Terry, the silence may feel heavy at first, but it could also provide a comforting sense of relief. Being with Imani, without pressure, allows him to start grappling with his emotions in a way that feels safe. It’s as though she’s telling him that he doesn’t have to have it all figured out right now.

Terry’s quiet request, “Baby. Can you just come to bed with me?” feels like a longing for comfort and closeness rather than anything more. It’s a subtle but powerful way for him to ask for her support—he doesn’t need to talk, he just needs to be near her, to find some sense of peace in her presence after everything that’s happened.

Imani nodding without hesitation is a silent affirmation that she’s there for him, ready to be the steady presence he needs. It shows her understanding that sometimes the best way to heal is to simply be with someone, no words necessary.

As they head to bed together, the atmosphere could shift into something more tender. There’s no pressure for conversation or for Terry to reveal everything. The act of simply being together in bed could be a safe haven for both of them, a shared space to heal, even in silence.

Whenever something heavy was on his mind he would be the little spoon to her. Him being 6’3 and her being 5’2 was a stark contrast. When they got in bed he rested his head on her chest while he wrapped his arms around her. 

Imani’s gentle touch, tracing circles on Terry’s bare back, is a soothing and intimate gesture. It’s her way of grounding him without the need for words—showing her support through the simple act of physical comfort. Feeling his breathing, steady and deep, might allow her to sense that, while he’s still carrying a lot, he’s finding some peace in her presence. The touch on his back can be both a source of reassurance for Terry and a way for Imani to stay connected to him emotionally without pressuring him to speak.

Her decision not to pry shows her deep respect for Terry’s need for space. She understands that, when he's ready, he’ll talk, but right now, she’s content just being there with him. There’s something incredibly tender about this moment, where the silence and physical closeness speak louder than words ever could.

Imani’s kiss on Terry’s head is a quiet, tender expression of love and reassurance, a gentle way to seal the moment of peace between them. Her whispered words, “You don’t know how much I love you,” are filled with deep affection and the weight of everything they’ve been through together. In that quiet moment, she’s offering him a reminder of her unwavering support, even if he’s still processing everything on his own terms.

As she kisses him and speaks those words, Imani is likely feeling a mix of emotions—concern for what Terry’s carrying, gratitude for their connection, and maybe a touch of sadness that he’s still holding so much inside. But in the stillness of the night, her love for him is the one thing that remains constant and unspoken, offering him the strength to face whatever comes next.

Terry, with his breathing steady and slow, has found some respite in her arms. Her presence is the kind of peace he needs in that moment. It’s as if her love is a quiet anchor in the storm of everything he’s been through.

Soon she falls asleep herself. She somehow some way fell asleep on his chest. His arms made it's way to her waist. 

The soft rays of sunlight gently filtered through the window, slowly pulling Imani from her sleep. She blinked a few times, still feeling the warmth of Terry's body pressed against hers, but as she stretched out her arms, she felt the absence of her favorite pillow—him. The space beside her was empty, and for a moment, a small pang of longing settled in her chest.

Imani’s eyes drifted around their bedroom, still a little groggy from sleep. She smiled softly as her gaze landed on an old Marine Corps t-shirt of Terry’s, draped across the back of a chair. The familiar dark green fabric, faded from years of wear, had the bold letters "MCMAP" printed on it, a reminder of Terry’s time as a Martial Arts Instructor in the Marines. It was one of her favorite shirts to wear when he wasn’t around—it smelled like him, like home, like the comfort of his steady presence.

She pushed herself up from the bed, stretching once more, her muscles still a little stiff, but grateful for the rest. The house was quiet—too quiet without Terry in it. The sound of the coffee maker percolating in the kitchen was the only noise filling the space. She slipped on his shirt, feeling its softness against her skin, and it instantly put her at ease.

Imani loved how it fit her—oversized, comfortable, and a constant reminder of the man she adored. The shirt was a piece of his past, a link to the man he had been before they met, but it had also become part of her daily routine, something she’d wear in the mornings when he wasn’t there, a little piece of him that kept her close to him even when they were apart.

As she walked to the kitchen, the smell of coffee filled the air, and she couldn’t help but smile. She knew Terry was probably already awake, taking care of something or working on his thoughts. Despite his silence about the past few days, Imani knew he was fighting his own battles. She could see it in the way he moved—slow, deliberate—and the way his eyes would sometimes darken with things he couldn’t yet talk about.

She set the coffee pot to brew a fresh pot and leaned against the counter, her fingers gently tracing the edge of the countertop. The sunlight coming through the window illuminated the room in a warm, golden hue, and she let the peace of the moment sink in.

As she waited, she glanced down at the shirt she wore again, her thoughts turning inward. It wasn’t just a shirt. It was a piece of Terry she held close when she missed him, a way to connect with the man who had made her heart feel whole.

A soft rustling noise interrupted her reverie, and she turned just in time to see Terry entering the kitchen. His eyes softened when he saw her wearing the shirt. “You always steal my best clothes,” he teased with a smirk.

Imani smiled warmly, her heart fluttering at the sight of him standing there. “I can’t help it. I love how it feels... like having you here even when you’re not.”

Terry walked toward her, his movements slow but steady. He reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face, his fingers lingering as they always did when he was close. “You know,” he said softly, “I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I didn’t want to be here with you.”

Imani’s heart skipped a beat. She had heard him say things like this before, but hearing it now, after everything they’d been through, still had the same effect. Her hand reached up to touch his chest, resting there as she met his eyes. “I know, baby. I just need you to talk to me when you're ready, okay?”

Terry nodded, his lips pressing into a firm line as he gazed down at her. “I will,” he promised, his voice quiet but sincere.

The air between them was thick with unspoken words, but for the first time in days, Imani felt the shift. She knew they were moving toward healing, toward understanding. And though they still had a long way to go, she felt a sense of peace in that moment, in the familiarity of the shirt, the warmth of their home, and the love they shared.

“Thank you for last night Imani.” He says softly.

Imani looked up at him, her heart swelling with tenderness at the sincerity in his voice. She had always known how deeply Terry cared for her, but hearing him express it so openly, especially after everything he'd been through, felt like a balm to her soul. She smiled, reaching up to cup his face gently in her hands.

“No need to thank me, babe,” she whispered, her thumb brushing over the stubble on his jaw. “You don’t have to thank me for loving you.”

Terry leaned into her touch, his eyes closing briefly as if savoring the moment. “It’s not just about love,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “It’s about you being there when I didn’t know how to be there for myself. Last night... it meant everything.”

Imani’s heart ached with the weight of his words. She had always seen him as strong—unshakable even—but in this moment, she understood the depth of his vulnerability. They had both been through a lot, but their bond was something that couldn’t be broken by the hardships they faced. She pulled him in for a soft kiss on the lips, a silent reassurance that she was there for him, always.

“I’ll always be here, Terry,” she whispered against his lips, her voice filled with conviction. “No matter what.”

He exhaled a shaky breath, his hands coming to rest on her waist, pulling her closer. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m not taking this for granted, Imani. I swear I’ll do better... I’ll be the man you deserve.”

Imani’s eyes softened as she looked up at him, her hands gently caressing the back of his neck. “You already are, Terry. You always have been.”

Terry’s gaze softened, and for a moment, the weight of the world seemed to lift. There was no need for grand gestures or more words—just the simple comfort of knowing that they had each other, no matter what the future held.

Imani smiled up at him, the sun shining through the kitchen window, casting a warm glow on their quiet, intimate moment. “Let’s just take things one step at a time,” she said. “We don’t need to have it all figured out right now.”

Terry nodded, his lips curling into a small smile. “One step at a time,” he echoed, pulling her into a hug.

They stood there for a moment, wrapped in each other's arms, letting the world outside fade away. With every beat of his heart against hers, Imani knew that no matter what challenges came their way, they would face them together, just as they always had.

“Tell me what you want to do today.” He says. 

Imani looked up at Terry, her smile playful as she tilted her head slightly, considering his question. She loved that he was trying to take her mind off things, especially after the weight of everything they’d both been through.

“Well,” she started, letting the words hang in the air for a moment as she moved closer to him, “I think I’m in the mood for something... low-key today. Maybe we could start by grabbing some coffee, take a walk, just... get out of the house for a bit.”

Terry raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Sounds like a good plan. Coffee first, though?”

“Definitely coffee,” Imani agreed with a laugh. “And I think we could use a little break from everything. Maybe some time away from the house would do us good.”

Terry’s expression softened, a quiet understanding in his eyes. He knew that sometimes the best thing for both of them was to step away from their daily routine and just enjoy each other’s company, free from the weight of their responsibilities or past struggles.

“Alright,” he said with a nod, his hands resting on her hips as he pulled her closer for a brief kiss. “Let’s do it. Coffee, a walk... and maybe some quiet time afterward. Just us.”

Imani grinned, her heart lightening at the thought of a peaceful day spent with him. “Exactly what I need. We’ll leave everything behind for a few hours.”

As they finished getting ready, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief—today wasn’t about tackling the weight of the world. Today was about them, about reconnecting in simple ways. A warm coffee in their hands, the cool air of the day around them, and the comfort of each other’s presence.

“Let’s go,” Imani said, taking his hand and leading him toward the door. “I think today is going to be a good one.”

As Terry and Imani stepped out of their home, the fresh air of the morning seemed to wash over them, offering a moment of peace that both of them needed. The streets were quiet, with only the soft rustling of the trees in the breeze and the distant hum of the city waking up. It was a perfect contrast to the chaos they had both been dealing with recently.

Imani, sensing that Terry was taking it all in, walked beside him in comfortable silence. She loved these moments with him—the ones where words weren’t necessary, where just being together was enough to feel grounded.

Terry took a deep breath, his broad shoulders relaxing as the tension from the past few days seemed to slowly melt away. The simple act of walking alongside Imani, the rhythmic motion of their steps in sync, gave him a sense of calm he hadn’t realized he was missing.

“So,” Imani finally broke the silence, her voice soft but teasing, “anything on your mind? Or are you just enjoying the peace and quiet?”

Terry glanced at her, his lips curving into a small, appreciative smile. “Just... taking it all in. I needed this. You’re right. Sometimes, just walking with you and being outside helps me clear my head.”

Imani nodded, squeezing his hand lightly. “I get that. Sometimes it’s the simplest things that help, you know? It doesn’t have to be anything big.”

They walked in comfortable silence for a few more moments, the sound of their footsteps accompanying the natural beauty around them. Terry felt the weight in his chest start to lift with each step. With every passing block, the rest of the world seemed to fade into the background, leaving just the two of them in this peaceful moment.

Imani glanced up at him, noticing the calmness that had returned to his face. “You look more relaxed,” she observed. “This was a good idea.”

Terry looked down at her, his expression sincere. “Yeah. It really was. I’m glad you suggested it.”

They continued walking, their connection deepening with each step. For the first time in a while, Terry felt like he was truly present, like everything he’d been through, everything he was still carrying, could take a backseat for a while.

It was moments like this—when the world felt still, when they didn’t have to talk about the past or the future—that made him realize just how much Imani meant to him. She was his anchor, the one person who could always pull him back from the edge, reminding him of the simple joys of life.

After a while, they came to a small park, where they found a bench to sit and continue their quiet day. Terry leaned back, his arm resting around Imani’s shoulders as she nestled into his side.

“I needed this more than I realized,” he said softly, his voice full of gratitude. “Thank you for bringing me out here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Imani looked up at him, her eyes full of warmth. “You’ll never have to find out,” she said simply, her hand gently resting on his chest. “I’m always here.”

They sat together, watching the world pass by, knowing that no matter what came next, they would face it hand in hand. The peace of the moment wrapped around them, offering both of them a rare kind of clarity and quiet—a reminder that, sometimes, taking it slow and being together was exactly what they needed.

He glanced over at her. “Someone looks like they went up a bra size.” He smirks. He always joked about her gaining happy weight with him.

Imani laughed softly at Terry’s teasing comment, her eyes narrowing playfully as she bumped her shoulder against his. “Oh, really?” she replied, her tone light but with a hint of sass. “Well, maybe I’m just finally learning to enjoy all those home-cooked meals you keep feeding me.”

Terry chuckled, his hand gently squeezing hers. He loved how she didn’t take his teasing too seriously. It was one of the many things he adored about her—her ability to laugh at herself, and the way she always made him feel like everything he said, even in jest, was just part of their dynamic.

“I can’t help it,” he continued, his smirk widening. “You make it too easy to spoil you. And hey, a little extra weight never hurt anyone, especially when it comes to you.” He gave her a wink, clearly enjoying the playful back-and-forth between them.

Imani rolled her eyes, though there was a softness to her smile as she leaned into him more. “I swear, you always know how to make me laugh,” she said, shaking her head but not without affection. “But for the record, I think you’re the one who’s gaining a little ‘happy weight,’ too.”

Terry raised an eyebrow, his grin turning mischievous. “Oh, you think so? You really wanna go there?”

Imani’s lips curled into a smirk. “Hey, someone’s been living pretty well lately. I’m not saying it’s all the late-night snacks, but... maybe it’s time to hit the gym together?”

Terry laughed again, the sound light and carefree. “Oh, now you want to get all healthy on me?” He teased, nudging her playfully with his elbow. “I thought we were enjoying all that food together. What happened to that?”

“I’m all for enjoying things, Terry, but I’m just saying...” She shrugged, a sly smile on her lips. “Maybe a little balance wouldn’t hurt.”

He sighed dramatically, but there was warmth in his eyes as he looked at her. “Alright, alright. Maybe we can start tomorrow. But for now, let’s just enjoy this, yeah? No need to worry about the gym today.”

Imani agreed with a soft chuckle, her hand resting on his chest. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

The two of them continued their walk, their light-hearted teasing a comfortable rhythm that kept the mood easy and carefree. It was these moments, where they could laugh together and share little jokes, that made their relationship feel like home—perfectly imperfect, but always real.

“But seriously. What size cup is my beautiful girlfriend?” He asks.

Imani raised an eyebrow at Terry's bold question, her lips curling into a playful smile. She’d heard him tease her about her appearance countless times before, but this felt like one of his more direct comments. She couldn’t help but laugh, her voice light and teasing.

“Oh, so now we’re talking cup sizes, huh?” she replied, her tone dripping with playful sarcasm. “You’re really asking that now, huh, after everything we’ve been through?”

Terry gave her a cocky grin, his eyes glinting with amusement. “I mean, I’m just curious. You look even more gorgeous than usual, so I thought I’d ask.”

Imani rolled her eyes but her smile widened as she nudged him with her elbow. “You’re ridiculous,” she said, still grinning. “But if you must know, I’m not telling you. You’re the one who’s always staring anyway.”

Terry laughed, shrugging his broad shoulders. “Hey, I can’t help it. I admire the whole package.” He winked at her, giving her a playful kiss on the cheek. “Just curious if it’s my cooking or your natural beauty that’s making you even more irresistible.”

Imani shook her head, the warmth in her chest growing. “You’re something else, Terry. But don’t think you’re getting away with that one. I’m keeping that secret.”

Terry grinned, clearly enjoying himself. “Fair enough, babe. But I’ll just keep appreciating the view in my own way, then.”

She laughed again, shaking her head in amusement. “You’re impossible, but that’s why I love you.”

With that, the playful teasing between them continued as they walked, a shared sense of humor making everything feel light and easy. It was these moments that strengthened their bond, where jokes and laughter kept them connected, no matter what else was going on in their lives.

“The first thing I noticed was damn my girl thick in the ass and thighs. I’m lucky.” He smirks

Imani’s eyes widened at Terry’s blunt compliment, but she couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from her chest. It was the kind of honesty he always carried with him, the kind that made her love him even more. She shot him a side-eye, trying to mask her smile as she shook her head.

“Damn, you really just gonna say that out loud?” she teased, poking him in the ribs. “You trying to get me all embarrassed in the middle of the street?”

Terry only smirked wider, his arm casually draped over her shoulder as they continued walking. “I’m just saying, I’m lucky as hell,” he replied with that easy confidence of his. “You know it, I know it. That’s just the truth.”

Imani rolled her eyes but the blush creeping onto her cheeks gave her away. She couldn’t deny that she loved how openly he appreciated her. It was something she hadn’t experienced much in the past—being loved without hesitation, without games.

“Well, I’m not complaining either,” she shot back, her voice turning playful as she leaned closer into him. “You’re lucky I even put up with you, Mr. ‘Thick in the Ass and Thighs.’”

Terry laughed, the sound deep and genuine. “Oh, I know. But trust me, I’d be a fool not to appreciate it,” he said, pulling her closer by the waist. “I’m not just talking about your curves, either. You’re beautiful all the way around, inside and out.”

Imani’s heart softened, the teasing moment turning into something tender. She met his gaze and smiled warmly, her voice quieter now. “I know, baby. I love you too.”

Terry kissed the top of her head, his hand gently resting on her back. “Good, ‘cause I’m lucky to have you.”

They continued walking, the easy banter and genuine affection between them making the moment feel perfect. Every exchange, whether playful or serious, was a reminder of how deep their bond ran, and it was clear that no matter what happened, they’d always have each other.

When they arrived home, the quiet of their house enveloped them, a welcome contrast to the noise and rush of the outside world. Terry slipped off his shoes at the door, letting out a long breath as he stretched his shoulders, the weight of the day lifting with each movement. He made his way to the couch, sinking into the soft cushions, finally feeling like he could truly relax.

As Imani disappeared into their shared bedroom to change, Terry took a moment to himself, the events of the past day running through his mind. He felt the lingering ache in his muscles, a reminder of his injuries, but it was nothing compared to the weight that had been on his heart. The conversation with Imani, the comfort of their time together—it was the balm he needed to heal.

He reached for the remote and flicked on the TV, though he wasn’t really paying attention to it. His thoughts kept drifting back to Imani. He loved her with everything he had, and in moments like this, when it was just the two of them, everything felt right.

Imani reappeared from the bedroom a few minutes later, now in a simple pair of sweatpants and one of Terry’s old t-shirts. The sight of her in his shirt always brought a soft smile to his face, as if she belonged to him in the most intimate way possible. Her hair was a little messy from taking it out of the bun, and her eyes were warm, soft, the way they always were when she was with him.

She walked over to him, her movements graceful, and gently sat down beside him on the couch. "Feeling better?" she asked, her voice quiet, a mix of care and curiosity.

Terry smiled, his gaze softening as he looked at her. "Yeah. A lot better. I just needed some time with you," he admitted, his voice low, almost reverent.

Imani leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder as she wrapped an arm around his waist. "I’m glad. I hate seeing you like that," she murmured, her fingers tracing light patterns on his chest. "You know I’m always here, right? For whatever you need."

He nodded, holding her close, his fingers lightly brushing through her hair. "I know. And I love you for it. You’re everything I could’ve asked for and more."

There was a comfortable silence between them for a moment, just the soft sounds of the TV in the background and their steady breathing. Terry let his head fall back against the couch, feeling a deep sense of peace settle over him. His arm wrapped around Imani, pulling her even closer, as if he could hold onto this feeling forever.

"Thank you," he whispered after a while. "For being here with me. For making everything better."

Imani smiled, lifting her head to meet his gaze. "You’re welcome, baby. You don’t ever have to thank me for that."

Terry kissed her forehead, his heart full. They didn’t need words for this; just being together was enough.

Imani settled more comfortably on the couch, stretching her legs out and resting her feet in Terry’s lap. She was still scrolling through her phone, occasionally pausing to read something or reply to a text, her fingers moving fluidly over the screen. The soft glow of the phone illuminated her face, and Terry couldn’t help but watch her, the familiarity of her presence bringing a calm over him.

He absently stroked the top of her feet with his fingers, a small gesture that brought him peace. It was a quiet, intimate moment—just the two of them, unwinding together after the chaos of the day.

Terry flipped through the TV channels without much interest. The images on the screen didn’t really grab his attention, but it felt comforting to just have the noise in the background. His mind kept wandering back to the past few days, to the weight he’d carried, but now, with Imani here beside him, he felt like he could finally breathe again.

Imani glanced up at him, catching his gaze for a moment before returning her attention to her phone. She could tell he was lost in thought, and she wasn’t sure if it was something she should press him about or just let him work through it in his own time.

"You’re awfully quiet," she remarked softly, her voice teasing but gentle. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

Terry let out a small sigh, his fingers pausing as he traced circles on the soles of her feet. "Just thinking. About everything and nothing, I guess," he admitted, his voice low.

Imani smiled softly and shifted, resting her phone down on the coffee table and giving him her full attention. "Want to talk about it?"

He shook his head slightly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Not really. Just… glad to be here with you."

Her eyes softened, and she sat up slightly, resting a hand on his chest. "I’m glad to be here with you too, Terry. We don’t always have to talk about everything. Sometimes just being here is enough."

Terry’s hand slid up to cup her face gently, his thumb brushing over her cheek as he leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Yeah, it is."

The moment stretched on, comfortable and peaceful, as they settled into each other's company. The world outside faded away, and for this moment, it was just the two of them, together, in their little bubble of quiet.

Imani stretched as she stood up from the couch, her body feeling the weight of the day. She gave Terry a playful smile as she walked toward their shared bedroom, her steps light as she headed toward the bed. The soft glow from the bedside lamp cast a warm, inviting light over the room.

As she pulled back the covers, she let out a long yawn, her arms reaching above her head as she stretched. The yawn seemed to echo the exhaustion she hadn’t even realized was creeping in. The past few days had been heavy, and now, in the quiet comfort of their room, it felt like the tension was finally starting to leave her body.

Imani slipped off her sweatpants, deciding to change into something more comfortable for the night, knowing it would be the last thing they’d do before resting. She ran her fingers through her hair, gathering it into a loose ponytail, and then pulled on one of Terry’s old t-shirts—one that had become her favorite to sleep in. The soft fabric, the familiar scent of him, it always made her feel close to him, even when they were drifting off to sleep.

She turned back toward the bed, her body a little sore from the long day, but also feeling a sense of calm that she couldn’t shake. Terry had come back to her, and for now, everything felt right.

When she crawled into bed, she snuggled into the covers, turning onto her side to face him. Her eyes studied him as he sat on the edge of the bed, probably lost in his thoughts again.

“Hey,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “Come here.”

Terry glanced over at her, the exhaustion of the day evident on his face. He stood slowly, stretching his back before walking over to the bed. He slipped in beside her, his arm naturally finding its way around her waist as he pulled her close. They settled into the familiar rhythm of their shared space, their bodies fitting together as if they had been made for this moment.

Imani let out another contented sigh, her eyes closing as she rested her head against his chest. It had been a long day, but this felt like home—the two of them together, safe and at peace.

"Love you," Terry mumbled into her hair, his voice drowsy.

"I love you too," Imani murmured back, her fingers lightly tracing over his arm.

And with that, they drifted off into the quiet of the night, the weight of the world outside their door feeling just a little lighter with each breath they took together.

Imani's eyes fluttered open in the morning to the sound of her phone ringing. She groaned softly, burrowing further into Terry’s embrace, savoring the warmth of his strong, muscular arms around her. His embrace always made her feel safe, as if nothing in the world could touch her when he was close.

But the ringing phone persisted, and she finally pulled herself away from his chest with a reluctant sigh. She reached over and grabbed the phone from the nightstand, her eyes squinting as she checked the caller ID. It was work—of course. She could never seem to get a break, especially when she wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped in Terry’s arms and forget about everything else.

Imani silently cursed under her breath, but she answered the call anyway, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice. “Hello?”

Terry, still half-asleep, pulled himself up on his elbows, watching her from the bed as she took the call. He could see the way she shifted, the slight tension in her posture when it was work calling. He knew how much she hated it, especially when it interrupted their mornings together.

“Imani, I’m sorry to bother you so early,” the voice on the other end said. “But we’ve got a situation here. Can you come in? We need your input.”

Imani rubbed her forehead, already feeling the weight of the conversation. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be there in about an hour,” she replied, trying to sound more professional than she felt. She ended the call, her fingers lingering on the screen for a moment before she tossed the phone back onto the nightstand with a frustrated sigh.

Terry sat up fully now, his brow furrowed. He knew how hard it was for Imani to balance everything—her work, their relationship, and everything else. He could see it in the way her shoulders tensed when something like this happened. He didn’t want her to have to deal with it, especially not on a morning like this when everything had felt so peaceful.

“Babe, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” he said softly, his voice hoarse from sleep. He reached over and gently stroked her arm, his touch meant to reassure her.

Imani smiled faintly, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I have to. You know how it is.” She didn’t want to burden him with her work troubles, but it was part of her life. She’d never be able to turn it off completely. Not while she was still in the thick of it.

Terry sighed, not liking it one bit, but understanding her sense of responsibility. “If you need anything, you know I’ve got your back, right?” he said, his eyes meeting hers with unspoken support. “You don’t have to do it all on your own.”

Imani nodded, her heart swelling with affection for him. He was always her rock, the one she could count on no matter what. But sometimes, it still felt like she had to carry the weight of everything herself.

“I know,” she said, her voice soft but grateful. “Thanks, Terry.”

With a final kiss on his lips, she stood up from the bed and moved toward the closet. She knew she had to get ready, but she could already feel the heaviness of the day settling in. Terry’s gaze followed her as she began to change into something more presentable, his thoughts drifting back to what had happened the day before—the weight of everything that had been on his mind. But he pushed it aside for now. Right now, his focus was on Imani.

At her desk, Imani sat back in her chair with a long, deep sigh. The weight of the morning hung on her shoulders as she tried to focus on the work in front of her, but her mind kept drifting back to Terry. She glanced around her office, taking in the familiar surroundings, but there was only one thing that really caught her eye: a picture on the corner of her desk.

It was her favorite photo of the two of them—a moment from their trip to Disney. In it, Terry stood with his lips gently pressed against her forehead, his strong bicep practically taking up the entire side of the picture. She smiled at the memory. He had always been protective of her in such a comforting, effortless way, and that moment, captured in time, had reminded her of everything she loved about him.

Imani picked up the photo frame, her fingers tracing the edge of the glass. She could almost feel the warmth of Terry’s embrace again, the way his arms had felt around her as they wandered through the park, laughing at the silliest things. It was one of those rare, perfect days when everything seemed to fall into place.

As she stared at the picture, the weight of the phone call from earlier began to resurface. There was a sense of duty that she couldn’t ignore, no matter how much she wanted to. But at the same time, the photo reminded her of the life she was building with Terry, of the support he always offered, even when she felt like she was carrying the world on her shoulders.

“Why can’t every day be like that?” she muttered to herself, setting the frame back down on the desk.

But the reality of her responsibilities wasn’t going to wait. She could feel the pull of work demanding her attention, and she couldn’t ignore the fact that there were lives depending on her input. She let out another sigh, this time with more resolve, and shifted her focus to the task at hand.

Just before she dove back into her work, Imani took a moment to close her eyes and think of Terry. She didn’t need to see him right now to feel his presence. It was there, in everything she did. She knew, without a doubt, that he was her rock—the one person who would never let her fall, no matter how heavy the world felt.

With a deep breath, she turned her attention to her computer screen, putting the personal distractions aside for a moment. But in the back of her mind, she knew she would be counting down the hours until she could see Terry again, find solace in his arms, and steal back some of those small moments of peace.

As the day dragged on, Imani found herself losing track of time. The calls, emails, and never-ending meetings seemed to blur together. Her thoughts kept drifting back to Terry, to the peacefulness of the morning before everything had to be put on hold. But now, sitting at her desk, she couldn’t shake the exhaustion that had begun to settle in her bones.

Her phone buzzed, cutting through the monotony of the office. She glanced down and saw Terry’s name lighting up the screen. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she unlocked her phone.

“What’s for dinner tonight? I’m thinking something simple, but I’ll make it good. How’s your day going?”

Imani chuckled softly, his familiar voice even in text making her feel a little lighter. It was exactly what she needed—a reminder of her life outside of the office. She quickly typed back, trying to keep the conversation casual despite the stress of her day.

“It’s dragging on. I swear, time moves slower when I’m stuck in here. But I’m looking forward to dinner. You’re the best at making the simple things feel special.”

She hit send, feeling the weight of the workday slowly lifting off her shoulders, replaced by the warmth of anticipation. She didn't know what Terry had planned for dinner, but just the thought of him taking care of her, of them sitting down together at the end of the day, made her feel grounded.

A few moments later, his reply came through:

“I’ve got us covered. Just relax when you get home, babe. You’ve earned it.”

Imani smiled, feeling a flutter of affection for him. He always knew how to make her feel seen, even when she was buried under piles of work. She glanced at the clock, realizing the day was almost over. Her energy had been drained, but knowing Terry would be there when she got home filled her with a sense of calm she hadn’t realized she was missing.

“I’ll be home soon. Can't wait to see you.”

She placed her phone down, taking a moment to breathe. The stress of the day hadn’t fully disappeared, but now, with the thought of Terry waiting for her, it didn’t seem quite as heavy.

-

As Imani stepped through the front door, the familiar scent of garlic, herbs, and rich tomato sauce filled the air. Her senses immediately relaxed, and her stomach growled in response. She closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply—lasagna. Terry knew exactly how to comfort her after a long day.

She slipped off her shoes and made her way to the kitchen, where she found him standing by the stove, the oven door open and the lasagna just about ready. Terry, wearing a faded T-shirt and his usual relaxed jeans, was humming softly to himself as he prepared the final touches.

Imani leaned against the doorframe, watching him for a moment. The sight of him always grounded her. The way he moved, calm and steady, even in the kitchen, was just one of the many things she adored about him. And tonight, he was making her favorite dish—he always pulled out all the stops when he knew she'd had a hard day.

Terry looked up, a soft smile forming on his face when he saw her. "Welcome home, baby," he said, his voice warm and full of affection. "Lasagna’s almost ready."

Imani couldn’t help but smile back as she walked toward him, reaching up to kiss his cheek. "You’re the best," she murmured, her hands finding his waist as she settled against him. "This smells incredible."

He chuckled softly, pulling her in for a brief hug before letting her go. "Figured you’d need some comfort food," he said, his eyes softening as they met hers. "I know how much you love it."

She leaned back slightly, looking up at him, her gaze softening with a mix of appreciation and love. "You always know just what I need," she said quietly, her fingers tracing the lines of his shirt.

Terry smiled, brushing a lock of hair from her face. "I just want you to feel good. You deserve it after the kind of day you’ve had."

Imani felt a warmth spread through her chest. She was lucky—lucky to have him by her side, always ready to care for her in ways big and small. "I feel good now," she said softly, her lips curving into a smile.

He stepped back toward the oven, pulling the lasagna out and setting it on the counter to cool. "Dinner’s served. I’ll get us some wine."

Imani pulled out a chair at the kitchen table, settling into it as she watched Terry move about. The simple, comforting normalcy of the moment was exactly what she needed. After everything that had been on her mind today, this felt like home—Terry, the food, the quiet after a busy day.

When he returned with two glasses of wine, he set one in front of her before taking a seat across from her. They exchanged a quiet, knowing look, the kind of look that passed between them after years of being together. She lifted her glass in a small toast. "To us," she said softly.

Terry clinked his glass against hers. "To us," he agreed, his voice low and full of meaning.

The rest of the evening passed by peacefully as they enjoyed their meal, the quiet hum of conversation and laughter filling the room. Imani let herself unwind, the weight of the day slowly lifting as she soaked in the comfort of Terry’s presence.

After finishing their meal, the warmth of the evening lingered in the air as Imani moved toward the living room. Terry was already on the couch, casually reclined and looking more relaxed than he had in days. The easygoing comfort of their home was just what he needed, and she couldn’t help but smile as she walked over to him.

Imani moved in closer, feeling the subtle pull between them. Without saying a word, she straddled his lap, settling herself comfortably against him. The contact was familiar and reassuring. Terry’s eyes softened as he met her gaze, a small, amused smile playing at the corner of his lips.

“Well, hello there,” he said, his voice low and warm, clearly enjoying the closeness between them.

Imani smirked and leaned in, her lips brushing against his ear as she whispered, “I thought I’d come keep you company.” Her hands gently rested on his shoulders, feeling the strength of his muscles beneath her touch. She could tell he was enjoying the way they fit together—his big, solid frame supporting her as she straddled him.

Terry’s hands slid down to her waist, pulling her in just a little closer. His smile deepened as he looked at her, his fingers tracing gentle circles on her back. “You always know how to make me feel like the luckiest guy in the world,” he said softly, his voice thick with affection.

Imani grinned, feeling a flutter of warmth in her chest. “You’re pretty lucky,” she teased, before capturing his lips in a slow, lingering kiss. It was soft at first, their lips barely grazing, savoring the comfort of being so close.

Terry’s hands tightened around her waist, deepening the kiss, his lips moving against hers with a mix of passion and tenderness. As they kissed, Imani felt all the stress of the day melt away. There was something so grounding about being with him, about the way he always seemed to know exactly what she needed—whether it was a comforting dinner or the quiet intimacy they shared now.

Breaking the kiss for a moment, she rested her forehead against his. “I missed you today,” she whispered, her voice quiet, filled with the weight of her emotions.

“I missed you too,” he murmured back, his thumb lightly caressing her cheek. “You know I can’t stand being apart from you.”

Imani smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him again. This was their moment, a space where everything else in the world faded away, leaving just the two of them—together, as they always were.

Imani deepened the kiss, her lips moving with a sense of urgency, feeling the tension that had been building between them all day. She pulled back for a moment, her eyes searching his before she slowly began to tug at the hem of his shirt. There was a familiar pull between them, a silent understanding of how they both needed this closeness, this connection.

Terry’s hands moved to help her, lifting his arms so she could pull the shirt off with ease. As she slid it over his head, she couldn’t help but admire the sight of his strong, sculpted chest. The muscles that had always impressed her now seemed even more alluring, and she couldn’t resist running her fingers lightly across his skin, feeling the heat of his body.

Terry’s breath hitched slightly at her touch, his hands sliding down her back as she moved closer to him. “You drive me crazy, you know that?” he said, his voice a mix of admiration and desire.

Imani smiled, her lips brushing against his as she leaned in again. “I know,” she whispered, her hands sliding to the waistband of his sweatpants. She paused for just a moment, savoring the intensity of the moment, before she slowly began to remove them, leaving him in just his boxers.

Terry’s hands moved to her shirt, the desire in his eyes clear. He helped her take it off, his lips brushing along her jawline, savoring the warmth of her skin. “You’re perfect,” he murmured as his lips found her neck, planting soft, lingering kisses along the sensitive skin there.

Imani let out a soft sigh, her fingers tangling in his hair as she pulled him back up to kiss him again. This kiss was different—deeper, more intense—as if the both of them had been holding back for too long and now the floodgates had opened. She pressed her body closer to his, feeling the heat of his skin against hers, the intensity of their connection growing with each passing second.

Terry’s hands were steady, guiding hers to the waistband of his sweats as his voice dropped to a low, heated whisper. The intensity in his eyes made it clear how much he wanted her, how he craved this moment with her. His fingers lightly brushed against hers, urging her forward, while his lips hovered just above her ear, his breath warm against her skin.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire.

Imani’s heart raced at the sound of his voice. She could feel the same anticipation swirling between them, the way their bodies responded to each other’s touch. Her fingers moved to the waistband of his sweats, hesitating for just a moment, before she met his gaze.

Her eyes locked onto his, filled with desire and an unspoken understanding. “I want you,” she whispered, her breath catching in her throat. She let her hands slide into the waistband of his sweats, her fingertips grazing his skin as she slowly pulled them down, taking her time, savoring the tension that built between them with every small movement.

As she worked, Terry’s hands slid to her waist, guiding her back down to his lap. His lips found hers once more, gentle but urgent, as if time had slowed and they had all the space in the world to explore one another. His touch was tender yet firm, his hands tracing the curve of her back before moving to her thighs, pulling her closer, if that was even possible.

“I’m yours,” he said softly between kisses, the words a promise and a plea, all wrapped into one.

Imani leaned into him, her fingers still teasing the waistband of his sweats, before finally pushing them down and off. She couldn’t resist trailing her fingers over his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin under her touch. She felt safe, secure, and loved in his arms, and as their connection deepened, the world outside of them faded away.

Terry’s breath hitched as Imani lowered his sweats, his body reacting to the closeness of hers, to the intimate moment they were sharing. He looked at her, his expression soft but full of longing.

"Babe..." she said softly, her voice laced with affection and something deeper, a hunger that matched his own.

He reached for her, his hands brushing against her sides as he pulled her closer, his lips brushing over her forehead before trailing down to her lips. "You don’t know how badly I want you," he murmured, his voice rough but filled with love and passion.

Imani felt the weight of his words, her own desire for him reflecting in her gaze. She let her hands roam over his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath beneath her touch. She knew exactly what he needed, what they both needed, and without hesitation, she let her lips meet his again, this time with more urgency, as if they both had been waiting for this moment far too long.

Terry responded instantly, his hands finding her hips and pulling her closer to him, pressing her body against his. The contact was electric, and for a moment, all they could feel was the heat between them, the way their bodies fit together so perfectly.

He pulled back just slightly, his forehead resting against hers, breathing heavily. "I love you so much, Imani. You’re everything to me," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

Imani smiled softly, tracing the outline of his jaw with her fingers. "I love you too, Terry. More than you know," she whispered back, before leaning in to kiss him once more, letting their connection deepen further.

Terry’s hands settled at the waistband of Imani’s pajama pants, his fingers brushing the soft fabric as he looked up at her, his gaze filled with a mixture of love and desire. The room seemed to quiet around them, leaving only the sound of their breathing as they shared this intimate space.

Imani met his gaze, her own eyes dark with longing. She could feel the heat between them, an unspoken understanding passing between them as he slowly began to slip the pants off her hips. His touch was gentle, yet there was an undeniable urgency in the way he moved, a sense that they had both been waiting for this moment for too long.

She helped him, lifting her hips slightly to allow him to pull them down, and as the fabric slid off her body, her bare skin brushed against his, sending a shiver through her.

Terry paused for a moment, his hands resting on her bare thighs as he looked at her, his breath shaky. "You’re beautiful, Imani. Absolutely perfect," he whispered, his voice low and filled with awe.

Imani smiled softly, her hands reaching up to run through his hair, her fingers gently tugging him closer. "I’m yours, Terry. Always have been, always will be," she whispered back, her voice full of love and trust.

With that, Terry leaned in, capturing her lips in a kiss that was as tender as it was passionate. His hands moved to her waist, pulling her close as their bodies pressed together. In that moment, there was no past, no future—just the here and now, the two of them wrapped up in each other.

He gently leaned her back into the pillows, leaving a trail of wet kisses down her body. She inhaled at the sensation. “Tonight, I’m going to make you scream my name.” he says as he makes his way down.

True to word he kept his promise. 

The next morning, Imani woke up with a contented sigh, the warmth of Terry's body still radiating against hers. She could feel the tenderness in her muscles, a reminder of the passion they had shared the night before. Her body was sore, but in the best possible way, a familiar feeling she had come to associate with their most intimate moments together.

Terry was still asleep, his arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close. His steady breathing and the comforting weight of his arm made her feel safe, loved, and cherished. She couldn't help but smile as she traced a finger along his arm, her thoughts drifting back to the night they had just shared.

She felt a wave of affection for him, a deep love that ran so much deeper than the physical. Terry was her rock, the person who had stood by her side through thick and thin, and even on mornings like this, when she was sore and exhausted, she felt nothing but gratitude for the man in her life.

Imani shifted slightly, careful not to disturb him, and snuggled deeper into his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat lull her back into a peaceful moment of quiet intimacy.

Tags 🏷️ :

@nahimjustfeelingit-writes @avoidthings @nayaesworld @haechvn @writingsbytee @grlsbstshot @ovohanna24 @skvrpion @megamindsecretlair @kimuzostar @notpradagurl7

[woozinhos]

Hi, can i request for a breeding kink with dk pls

Anon you know I had to drop everything I was doing and write this hehe my ult bias anyways enjoy!

You and Dokyeom had spent the day with your extended family, surrounded by children of all ages.

As you watched the kids play and interact with their parents, you couldn't help but feel a pang of longing in your chest.

You glanced over at Dokyeom, noticing the wistful look in his eyes as he watched a couple with a newborn baby.

Dokyeom seemed lost in thought, his gaze fixated on the baby in the couple's arms.

There was a softness in his expression that you had seen before, a vulnerability that he only ever showed around you.

You knew he had always wanted to be a father, and seeing all the children around him today had likely reignited that desire.

After a long day of family activities, you and Dokyeom finally found yourselves alone in the privacy of your bedroom.

As soon as the door was shut behind you, Dokyeom's demeanor changed.

He pressed you against the wall, his hands roaming over your body as he kissed you hungrily.

There was a desperate edge to his touch, a need that had been building all day.

He broke the kiss, his lips trailing down your neck as he pressed his body against yours.

"You have no idea how badly I need you right now," he growled, his voice low and rough. "Watching those kids today, seeing all the families... it's been driving me crazy."

Dokyeom's usual softness and sweetness had completely disappeared, replaced by a raw, almost animalistic desire.

He spun you around, pressing your chest against the wall as he pushed your hips back against his.

"I can't stop thinking about it," he murmured, his hands roaming over your body as he spoke. "About having a family with you, about filling you up and watching you grow with our child."

Dokyeom practically throws you onto the bed, his movements rough and impatient.

He quickly follows, his hands grabbing your hips and pulling you up onto your knees.

He stands behind you, his body pressing against yours as he runs his hands over your curves.

Dokyeom leans over you, his chest pressed against your back as he whispers in your ear.

"I need to breed you," he growls, his voice low and possessive. "I need to fill you up and make you mine in every way possible. I want to see you round with my child, carrying a piece of me inside you."

Dokyeom's hands are rough and impatient as he pulls up your dress, revealing your bare skin to him.

He doesn't even bother taking off your panties, instead just tearing them away from your body with a sharp, decisive movement.

Dokyeom hastily unbuttons his pants, pushing them down just enough to free his aching erection.

He's too desperate to bother taking them off completely, the need to claim you overwhelming all other thoughts.

He lines himself up with your entrance, his breath hot against your neck as he speaks.

"I'm going to fill you up," he promises, his voice low and guttural. "I'm going to breed you so deeply, so thoroughly, that there's no doubt in your mind that you belong to me."

With one swift thrust, he enters you, his hips slamming against yours as he buries himself to the hilt.

He lets out a deep groan, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he savors the feeling of being inside you.

Dokyeom doesn't waste any time, immediately setting a fast and brutal pace as he starts to thrust into you.

He grips your hips so tightly that it's almost painful, using them as leverage to drive himself deeper and harder with each movement.

As he pounds into you from behind, he reaches up and grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back so that your neck is exposed to him.

He leans down, his breath hot against your ear as he whispers dirty things to you.

"You feel so good, baby," he growls. "Your body is so perfect, so tight and hot around me. I can't get enough of you."

He tugs on your hair, forcing you to arch your back even further as he continues to pound into you relentlessly.

"You're mine, all mine," he murmurs, his voice thick with possessiveness. "No one else can have you, no one else can touch you like this. You belong to me, body and soul."

His voice gets louder and more urgent as he continues to speak, his words coming out in ragged gasps between thrusts.

"I want to breed you," he repeats, over and over again like a mantra. "I want to fill you up with my cum, watch it drip out of you, and know that I've claimed you as mine,"

His pace becomes even more frantic, his hips slamming against yours with such force that it's almost bruising.

He's completely lost in the moment, consumed by the need to claim you and fill you with his seed.

"You're going to be so beautiful, round and full with my child," he grunts, his fingers digging into your hips. "I can't wait to see it, to see you carrying my baby inside you."

Dokyeom's usually gentle demeanor has completely transformed, replaced by a fierce, almost animalistic passion.

As he continues to pound into you from behind, he suddenly raises his hand and delivers a sharp slap to your ass.

You let out a surprised gasp, the sting of the impact sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.

Dokyeom notices your reaction, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

He slaps your ass again, harder this time, watching as your body jerks forward from the impact.

"You like that, don't you?" he growls, his voice dripping with satisfaction. "You like it when I get rough with you, when I show you just how much I want you."

Dokyeom keeps up the rough treatment, his hands roaming over your body as he continues to pound into you from behind.

He alternates between slaps and squeezes, his touch both rough and possessive.

He leans down, his chest pressed against your back as he whispers in your ear again.

"You're such a good girl for me," he murmurs, his voice low and rough. "Taking me so well, letting me do whatever I want to you. You were made for this, made to be mine."

As Dokyeom gets closer to his climax, his usual sweet and gentle personality starts to reappear beneath the rough exterior.

His whimpers and gasps fill the air, his body trembling as he struggles to hold on.

"I'm so close," he pants, his hips stuttering against yours. "Please, baby, I need to cum. I need to fill you up, I need to breed you."

Dokyeom's movements become even more frantic, his thrusts coming faster and harder than ever as he chases his release.

He's completely lost in the sensation, his body taking over as he desperately tries to reach his peak.

"Please, please, please," he chants, his voice broken and needy. "I can't hold on much longer, I need to cum inside you now."

"Then cum," you gasp out, your own body trembling with pleasure. "Fill me up, give me what I need."

Dokyeom's smirk widens at your words, his eyes dark with lust as he takes them as a challenge.

He grabs your hips tightly, pulling you back onto him with each thrust as he tries to get as deep as possible.

"Oh, I'll fill you up alright," he growls, his voice low and feral. "I'll give you so much cum that it'll be dripping out of you for days."

Dokyeom's body tenses, his muscles coiling tightly as he feels his orgasm building.

He lets out a deep, guttural groan, his grip on your hips almost bruising as he buries himself deep inside you.

"I'm coming," he gasps, his voice barely more than a strangled whisper. "Oh god, I'm coming!"

Dokyeom's body shudders as he reaches his peak, his hips jerking against yours as he empties himself inside you.

He lets out a long, low moan, his face contorted in pleasure as he spills his seed deep inside your body.

"Yes, yes, yes," he gasps, his fingers digging into your skin as he rides out his orgasm. "Take it all, take every drop of me."

Dokyeom's body finally goes slack as he finishes, his breathing heavy and ragged as he slumps against you.

He stays inside you for a moment, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

Dokyeom pulls out of you slowly, watching as his cum drips out of your body and onto the floor.

He lets out a low groan, his eyes fixed on the sight as he admires his handiwork.

"Look at that," he murmurs, his voice filled with a mix of satisfaction and possessiveness. "Look at how much I filled you up."

Dokyeom smirks as he takes his fingers and pushes his cum back inside you, not wanting to waste a single drop.

He watches with intense focus as his fingers disappear inside you, a low growl rumbling in his chest.

"Can't let any of it go to waste," he says, his voice low and rough. "You need to keep all of me inside you, to feel it deep within you."

Dokyeom continues to play with you, his fingers slowly pumping in and out of you as he works to keep his cum inside your body.

Dokyeom pulls his fingers out of you and leans down, his lips brushing against your ass as he presses gentle kisses to the sensitive skin.

He runs his hands up and down your thighs, his touch soft and tender now that he's finished claiming you.

[thegreatdandilion]

Writing a whump fic because there wasn't enough whump on Under the skin 2 ep 20

The moment Gu Yitian was restrained and the girl confirmed safe, Shen Yi felt the tension in his body unravel, leaving him trembling in its wake. His heart pounded in his chest, each beat sending a sharp ache radiating through his ribs. He stayed still, forcing himself to focus on seeing Du Cheng securing the handcuffs on Gu Yitian.

“You look like hell,” Du Cheng muttered, noticing Shen Yi’s shuddering form.

Shen Yi gave a faint nod, swallowing hard against the dryness in his throat. “I’ll be fine,” he lied, his voice rasping like sandpaper. His knees threatened to buckle beneath him, but he locked them in place.

The air felt too thin, his lungs struggling to pull in enough oxygen as a faint ringing built in his ears. He blinked several times to clear his vision, only for the world to blur further.

“Let’s head back,” Du Cheng said, gripping Shen Yi’s arm lightly.

Shen Yi forced himself to straighten. Each step back to the car felt heavier than the last, his legs dragging like they were weighed down with lead. The seatbelt pressed uncomfortably against his chest on the ride back to the station.

Back at the station, Shen Yi made a beeline for the restroom. Once inside, he wiped away the makeup and leaned heavily against the sink, gripping the edge so tightly his knuckles turned white. His reflection in the mirror startled him—his skin was ghostly pale, his eyes bloodshot and sunken, and a faint sheen of sweat clung to his forehead.

He splashed cold water on his face, hoping the shock would snap him out of the fog clouding his mind.

Somehow, he made it to his desk, his movements slow and deliberate. He didn’t trust his legs to carry him much farther, and his head throbbed relentlessly. He set to work, flipping through his notes with trembling fingers.

“Shen Yi,” Du Cheng’s voice startled him, and he looked up to see his partner’s sharp eyes scanning his face. “ We’ll go over the brief together and I'll take you home to rest. You look like you're about to keel over and die.”

Shen Yi nodded, following Du Cheng into the briefing room. He told himself he could push through just a little longer.

The fluorescent lights felt harsher than ever, piercing through Shen Yi’s skull as he sat across from Du Cheng. The papers in front of him blurred, the words swimming before his eyes. His chest tightened, a deep, crushing pressure spreading like a vice.

He tried to ignore it, focusing instead on Du Cheng’s voice as they discussed the presentation. But his breathing grew faster and shallower, each inhale feeling like he was dragging air through a straw. His hands shook as he reached for a pen, but his fingers refused to grip it properly.

“Shen Yi? I think you should sit down.” Du Cheng asked, his tone shifting to one of concern.

"Huh... sit down?" He realizes that he is standing up and shaking on his legs like a bambi.

Shen Yi doesn't remember standing up. He opened his mouth to respond, but his words caught in his throat. A wave of dizziness hit him like a tidal wave, and he grabbed the edge of the table for support. His vision darkened at the edges, the world tilting violently.

“Shen Yi!”

Du Cheng’s shout was the last thing he heard before his legs gave out completely. The sensation of falling was brief but terrifying, his body collapsing like a puppet with its strings cut. Du Cheng sees how Shen Yi's eyes roll back, neck and body going completely limp as he runs to catch him. Shen Yi barely registered the impact of the floor against his side, the pain drowned out by the roaring in his ears.

When Shen Yi woke, it was to a cacophony of noise—voices shouting orders, the blare of sirens, the sharp beeping of medical equipment. His chest felt like it was on fire, each breath a monumental effort. The weight of an oxygen mask pressed against his face, but it wasn’t enough.

“Du Cheng…” he gasped, his voice weak and desperate.

“He’s right here,” a medic assured him. “Focus on breathing.”

He tried to turn his head, to see for himself, but the effort made the edges of his vision darken further. His limbs felt like lead, too heavy to move.

The next thing he knew, he was in a hospital bed. The beeping of the heart monitor was steady, but every muscle in his body screamed in protest as he tried to shift. His whole body ached with a deep, bone-deep soreness, and his head throbbed like a drumbeat.

“Finally awake?”

The familiar gruffness of Du Cheng’s voice drew his attention. Shen Yi turned his head slowly to see his partner sitting beside him, arms crossed and an expression that was equal parts anger and worry.

“What… happened?” Shen Yi croaked, his throat dry and scratchy.

“What happened?” Du Cheng snapped, standing abruptly. “You overworked yourself to the point of collapse, that’s what! You scared the hell out of everyone, Shen Yi. Do you ever stop to think about the damage you’re doing to yourself?”

Shen Yi tried to reply, but his chest tightened painfully, cutting off his words.

“Don’t even try to argue,” Du Cheng continued, his voice cracking slightly. “You almost didn’t make it. The doctors said your heart was under too much strain, and you were severely exhausted. What were you thinking?”

Shen Yi’s lips moved, but the effort to speak made his vision blur again. His breathing grew erratic, and the heart monitor’s beeping sped up alarmingly.

“Shen Yi? Sh## Sh##... Damn it, stay with me!” Du Cheng’s voice rose in panic as Shen Yi’s consciousness slipped away once more.

When Shen Yi woke again, the world felt quieter. The oxygen mask was gone, replaced by a nasal cannula. Du Cheng was still by his side, his head resting in his hands as he sat slumped in a chair.

“Du Cheng…” Shen Yi whispered, his voice barely audible.

Du Cheng jolted awake, his eyes narrowing as he leaned closer. “If you ever pull something like that again, I’ll kill you myself,” he muttered, his tone rough but his eyes glistening.

Shen Yi managed a weak smile, “I understand" and drifted off.

[suunani]

pieces of myself ( hwang intak )

▍ intak reminds you that you’re enough as you are.

content: 1600 words, male reader, added member!reader, angst, hurt/comfort, boyfriend!intak, reader is having a breakdown, intak is the biggest sweetheart.

the dressing room was colder than usual.

the harsh overhead lights flickered softly, casting long, silent shadows across the space.

it felt like time was moving in slow motion. your breath coming out in shallow, uneven gasps as you sat at the vanity, staring at your reflection in the mirror.

you had just finished another successful concert with the boys, another night of applause, screams, and flashing cameras. but all you could hear now, in the quiet aftermath, was the pounding in your chest.

the image staring back at you wasn't really you anymore.

the stage lights had dimmed, but the hollow feeling in your chest hadn't. you had spent hours perfecting that flawless image — perfect hair, perfect makeup, perfect posture. the boy the fans adored, the boy the company demanded you be.

but who was the real you?

who were you when the lights were off?

you had been suffocating for so long. the constant pressure, the weight of expectations from the fans, the industry, and — perhaps most of all — the pressure you put on yourself to meet them.

there were days when the smile you wore in front of the cameras felt like it was carved into your face, like a mask you couldn't remove. and every day, the weight of the mask felt heavier.

but today? today, it felt unbearable.

the knock on the door broke the silence, but you didn't move.

you didn't want to face anyone, least of all the one person who always made you feel like you were more than just the idol everyone expected you to be.

"y/n? are you in there?" it was intak, his voice low but filled with concern.

you swallowed, trying to steady your breath, trying to put on a face for him.

"yeah, i'm fine," you said quickly, the lie tasting bitter in your mouth.

you hadn't been fine for a while now, but saying it out loud made it feel real.

the door creaked open, and in he walked.

his eyes instantly fell on you. you hadn't even turned your face toward him, but the way he stood there, so still, so patient, told you everything you needed to know.

he had known something was wrong the moment you'd entered the building, and he hadn't stopped looking for you since. he'd noticed the way you'd withdrawn into yourself during the performance, the way your usual spark seemed dulled.

but intak wasn't the type to push when you weren't ready, so he waited. but now, seeing the emptiness in your eyes, he couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"y/n..." his voice was so soft, so full of empathy. "what's going on?"

you hated the way your throat closed at his words, how they made everything inside you feel more fragile, more exposed.

you had tried so hard to keep everything locked inside, but in front of him, it felt like it was all coming apart.

"i'm fine," you repeated, your voice hoarse, barely above a whisper.

"no, you're not," intak stepped closer, his voice gentle but firm. "you don't have to keep pretending with me, y/n. please, talk to me. what's going on?"

you could feel your chest tightening, the familiar sensation of a breakdown creeping up.

but you held it back, like you always did.

you couldn't let him see you like this. you couldn't show him the weakness, the cracks in the perfect image you were supposed to embody.

"i just need a minute," you said, your voice strained, desperate to push him away so you wouldn't have to face the pain.

but intak wasn't backing off.

he knelt beside you, his expression softening as he reached out to touch your arm.

"it's okay. you don't have to do this alone. you're not weak, y/n. you're allowed to break sometimes. but you don't have to carry all of this on your own."

the words were like a bomb going off inside of you. the dam you had spent so long building finally cracked.

you didn't want to cry. you didn't want to fall apart in front of him, but the moment intak touched you, his warmth, his concern, the tears flooded out.

you couldn't stop them.

"i... i don't know what's wrong with me, intak," you whispered, voice breaking with the weight of all the fear you'd been holding in. "i'm supposed to be perfect. i'm supposed to be this idol that everyone looks up to, but i can't keep doing it anymore. i'm so tired. i'm just so... tired."

your body shook with the force of your sobs, the overwhelming exhaustion finally spilling over. you felt like you were suffocating under the pressure.

the company, the fans, the endless expectations. it all felt so far removed from who you were as a person. you had always done your best to keep up the image. smiling, laughing, always giving more than you thought you had.

but now? now you didn't even know who you were.

intak didn't say anything for a moment. he just sat there, quietly watching you, as if giving you the space to let it all out. his hand remained on your shoulder, his touch reassuring but gentle.

"you don't have to be perfect, y/n."

he finally whispered, his voice filled with such tenderness that it almost felt like he was trying to heal the broken pieces of you.

"you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. it's okay to be tired. it's okay to need a break. you're allowed to be human."

"i'm not perfect," you gasped through your sobs, shaking your head as though the words themselves physically hurt. "i'm so scared that one day i'm going to wake up and everything will come crashing down. what if they hate me? what if they don't love me for who i really am?"

intak's hand tightened on your shoulder, and you could feel the ache in his chest, too, as if hearing the depth of your pain hurt him just as much as it hurt you.

it was breaking him, but he wasn't going anywhere. he couldn't leave you like this.

"y/n, listen to me," he said softly, lifting your chin so that you had to look at him.

his eyes were filled with so much emotion that it made your heart ache.

"i don't care if you're perfect. i don't care about the image the company created for you or what anyone expects. you're enough. just as you are."

you shook your head, unable to accept his words didn't believe them.

not when you felt so far removed from the person everyone thought you were. the real you. the person that had been buried under layers of expectation. the person who didn't even know if they could go on pretending anymore.

"i'm not enough," you whispered, broken. "i'm not good enough for you. i'm not good enough for anyone."

you could feel your chest constricting again, the weight of your self-doubt pressing down on you like a vice.

intak's eyes filled with anguish, his face scrunching up with the emotion he couldn't hide. it physically hurt him to see you like this, to see the person he loved so much torn apart by invisible forces.

"y/n," he said, his voice shaking now. "you are more than enough. don't you get it? i'm not with you because of your image. i'm not with you because of the fans. i'm with you because i love you. the real you. the person who cares so much for others, the person who makes me laugh when i'm down, the person who gets frustrated with the smallest mistakes and pushes himself to do better. you're perfect in the way that matters. you're perfect to me."

his words, raw and sincere, were like a balm to the wound in your heart. but even as he spoke them, you couldn't fully believe them.

the weight of everything you were carrying felt too heavy. the fear that you weren't worthy of his love, the fear that one day everything would come crashing down, clouded your mind.

the pressure was suffocating.

"i don't know how to be that person anymore," you admitted, your voice barely audible. "i don't know who i am without all of this. without the image, the expectations. i don't even recognize myself anymore. i just feel so... lost."

intak's heart broke even further, and before you could say anything else, he pulled you into his arms.

it was a tight, protective hug, the kind that wrapped around you like a shield, like he would never let go. he buried his face in your hair, holding you as if he could absorb all of your pain and exhaustion into himself.

"i'm so sorry, y/n," he whispered, his voice breaking. "i never wanted you to feel like this. i just want you to be happy. i just want you to be okay."

and in that moment, all the walls you'd built around yourself, all the lies you'd told, started to crumble.

you felt his love, steady and unwavering, surrounding you. his warmth was the only thing that made the fear and exhaustion bearable.

"i'll help you," he said softly, pulling back just enough to kiss your forehead. "we'll figure this out together. you don't have to carry this weight alone. i'm here. i'm always here."

for the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself lean into him completely.

the overwhelming flood of emotions left you raw and vulnerable, but with intak beside you, it didn't feel like the end. it felt like the beginning of something new.

maybe it wouldn't be easy. maybe you'd still have moments where the weight of everything felt unbearable. but for now, you didn't have to pretend anymore.

you weren't alone. and that was enough.

[honeyxbunny99]

Sandor Clegane~ The Bitch and The Hound pt.11

Pain.

The first sense you regained after your long dissociation was the soreness in your hips. Your vision returned as you began to sink back into your body again, and watched yourself jostle up and down on a horse; watched Sandor’s hands grip the reigns loosely on either side of you. Your eyes drifted up and you saw the sun was still low in the sky. Was time standing still?

You licked your lips and were embarrassed to find your voice came out raspy when you finally asked, “How long have we been riding?”

Sandor’s hands tightened noticeably like you surprised him. “All day…”

“Anna, where’s Anna?” You began to worry, tossing your head all around until you found her trailing behind on a beautiful white horse. You were relieved when she met your eyes and nodded in greeting. You then shyly attempted to meet the eyes of your savior—or kidnapper, depending on how you viewed it. He stared straight ahead, to your dismay, and so you returned your gaze forward as well.

“That horse was meant for you…”

He said it like a grievance. In your head you weighed the reasons for which he could be upset. Was Anna unwelcome, and if so why had he allowed her to come along this far? Or was he simply upset at sharing a horse with you, being in such close proximity with what had been dead weight for a full day… You were grateful Anna was there, regardless of how he felt about it. If it had been only you and him, you weren’t certain how safe you’d feel. He rescued you, didn’t he? Or did he just love killing?

“We can break at the top of this hill.” He spoke louder to communicate with the mute girl behind him, and then he kicked the horse in the side and the pace quickened.

Sandor dismounted first and began digging through the saddlebag beside your leg. You stared awkwardly at him and waited. If this was one of your romance novels, he would have wrapped his arms around your waist and helped you down like a gentleman. And yet after emerging with an apple spattered in blood— the apple Charlie had given you— you remembered the gravity of the situation. This is far from a romance. Sandor offered the apple to his horse and stroked his large head before he looked at you like you were dense. “Comfortable up there?”

You said nothing for a moment, blinking back tears brought on by the memory of Charlie’s beaten face in your lap. You looked down at the red smears on your dress only to jerk your head back in Sandor’s direction. “I don’t know how to get down…” he half smirked and looked to Anna for confirmation of this humor. She, however, was also still up on her horse.

“Oh that’s a riot.” He laughed cockily. “On the run with two women who don’t know how to get their feet back on the ground.”

“You didn’t have to take us!” You glared down at him. He rolled his eyes before extending one hand out to you. You were too heated to accept his pitiful offer. “Forget it.” You swung your leg over the horse’s body and tried not to wince at how sore the position change made you. The steed was tall compared to The Hound, but your pride was taller still. You took a quick breath and jumped down, landing on your bare feet and falling to your knees. Wordlessly you brushed yourself off and tried to ignore the chuckle you heard as you walked over to Anna. She swung her legs to meet your chest and you reading yourself to catch her at her waist. She hesitantly slid down and you set her down as gently as possible.

When you saw her close enough, you realized her face was stained with tears and you blushed in embarrassment as you realized you must look the same. She wrapped you up in a hug but you patted her to release you. Don’t look weak. He abducts me and acts like I’m a fucking burden??

You turned to the mocking giant. “Why dont you make use of yourself and find some firewood? Instead of standing there like a pompous ass.”

Your words appeared to have no affect on him and he went for his saddle bag again. “No fire tonight, princess. Soldiers and thieves will be scouting and we’re not gonna be waving a big fucking flag for them to run to.”

Damn.

“Tell your friend to bring her bags over here and empty ‘em.”

Your face twitched in anger once again. “She can hear, you know!” Anna placed a soothing hand on your shoulder and shook her head to dissuade you. You huffed as she walked over with the bags. The hound dumped out his saddle bag and the two she’d brought onto the grass and started sorting through it. He looked up at Anna and you lingered around the horses. “Hungry?” She nodded and he handed her an apple and a slice of bread.

“You should eat too, princess. The pompous ass insists you keep your strength up.” He mocked again. Deciding that you were not winning these exchanges you simply resolved to be quiet. You pet the black stallion’s long nose and gazed into his eyes. “Two fucking mutes for company.” The Hound muttered under his breath, lying back and biting into some sliced meat as the sky darkened.

Eventually you sat down beside the horse and watched the stars begin to shine all around you. It was colder this high up and you wrapped your arms around yourself. The dress you received from the women in Littlefinger’s employ, while beautiful, did almost nothing to protect you from the elements. An open back and small cutouts at your waist; nothing you would have dared to wear outside of your room in your old life, and it was now all that you owned. Anna had drifted off to sleep beside The Hound and was snoring softly. Her horse had laid down and slept as well, while the midnight stallion slept standing up. You couldn’t see Sandor’s face any longer and you were grateful for that. It was quiet, but you felt no sense of peace. You yawned once and drew his attention inadvertently.

“Don’t fall asleep there…” The tension resurfaced at the sound of The Hound’s voice, and you gasped softly in surprise. “If Stranger feels you in his sleep he’ll kick and stomp you before I can get a word out.. He doesn’t listen to anyone but me.”

You looked skyward at the great beast and wondered. “I bet he would listen to me.”

Sandor snickered in the darkness. “Just because he hasn’t attacked you, don’t flatter yourself thinking you’re some whisperer.”

“I got you to listen to me, you’re just as fearsome and hateful as he could ever be…”

Sandor said nothing for a while and you began to shift away slowly from the horse. “You need to eat.”

You sighed. “I’m fine.”

“You’re going to starve yourself because I told you to eat?”

“I’m not starving. I know what starvation feels like, do you?” You were angry with him, every word he spoke sounded grating to your ears.

“Yes. I do.” He surprised you. You reflected back on what Charlie had said about The Hound skipping meals. Was he starving the whole time I was?

The venom began to drain from your voice. “I ate at the brothel… we don’t have much, I saw the provisions. You can have my portion for tonight.”

Sandor huffed. “Not gonna happen.”

You didn’t understand how to feel about him now; did not understand his intentions. “Why did you bring us here?”

“She wasn’t part of the plan.”

“So there is a plan then.. Me, why did you take me?”

“Does it matter? You’re here now, King’s Landing is back that way, though I’m not sure whose flag is flying.”

You furrowed your brows. “What do you mean?.. You said we lost— that the Baratheons—“

“When we left I saw Lannister flags marching into town… Soldiers, real soldiers coming in at the last minute could have turned it around.”

You were too stunned to speak for a moment. The Hound tucked tail and ran?! He was supposed to be a real soldier, a kings guard, a fearsome bloodthirsty knight— leading all of those average citizens to slaughter, and he ran away before it was over? He could betray Joffrey as a result of his own fear but not to defend you?!

“So you left it all behind for nothing?! And you’ve stolen me away in your cowardice as well!” Your voice was raising uncontrollably and Anna began to stir. It was at that moment in the darkness that Sandor’s large hands lunged towards you and gripped your arms familiarly. “Shut your trap!” He growled, face nearing your own— the stench of blood and sweat ever growing. He practically dragged you down the hill as he spoke. “Awful bitchy whining coming from someone who’s only alive because of me!”

You raised your arms and with all of your strength attempted to push him off of you by his chest. “Alive because of you?! I’m a fucking enemy of the crown because of you!”

“You think you were in his favor before?!”

“I would still be alive with Baelish! I would be safe with Baelish! Not riding to nowhere with a beast afraid of his own shadow cast in the flames!” You struggled all the way through your speech, growling and spitting back at him and finally he let you go, sending you to land hard on your ass.

“You ungrateful little cunt!” He spat out like the words were poison.

From your position on the grass he looked gigantic and hateful. And yet you knew there was duality in him. Not so long ago you watched him weep for you, watched him kill the man responsible for taking Charlie’s life, watched him cut off the hand of a man who plotted to sell your body. And yet it was he who put you in that vulnerable position in the first place. You hated him, still.

“You wanna take your chances walking, back that way’s your best bet. Enemy of the crown, that’s a fucking laugh! Enemy of a prissy brat too scared to fight in a war he started. You wanna try to go back there and grovel, that’s fine. Be less belly aching to listen to, and I’m sure your little shadow will follow you too…” He was exasperated at the end of this speech and tossed his hands up weakly in the air, his next sentence sounded nearly pleading. “But you don’t want to be alone out here… Someone worse than me will find you… And I’m not going back there.”

You heard the fear in his voice. For him, King’s Landing fostered wildfire, Gregor Clegane, and Tywin Lannister— a much smarter enemy and just as cruel. What did King’s Landing hold for you? Only your family. You wondered for only a second how different life would be for them. You hoped they were not to be punished on your behalf. Who would actually notice you gone? Petyr? Certainly another enemy made, but you had the sense he had bigger plots in store than simply turning a profit at his brothels. You were practically dead already once in King’s Landing, and no one had cared. Well, only the dead boy in the streets and the two people here with you right now. m

“Am I your prisoner? Your hostage?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” “Am I your prize?” For as long as your memory went back, you were not in control of your own life. You were a possession. You were the memory of your beautiful mother and the promise of a better future. When you were married off to the hound, you were truly only half a person. You felt whole once with him, but it was all a lie. Broken down to nothing by the men in your life, now was perhaps your only chance to feel truly free to make your own decisions. “Am I allowed to leave?”

Your fingers pulled anxiously at the grass beside your legs, honestly unsure of the answer you were hoping for. On one hand, you wanted him to want you. To be your protector the way you once saw him. On the other, you wanted it to be your choice.

The man sighed and you saw his head turn to look in the direction of your former home. “I won’t stop you… but you’re making a mistake… I can protect you, keep you safe… I won’t hurt you, (Y/n).. If you stay with me no one will hurt you again or I’d kill them…”

A promise you were not convinced anyone could keep, yet spoken with such conviction that your heart yearned to believe it. “I won’t fail you again.”

You held your breath for a moment, standing and allowing your eyes to focus in the dark so you could make out his features. It appeared he too was holding his breath, eyes scanning all over your face in search of clues. “I will decide in the morning.. We’d both better get some sleep. I assume you’ll want to move at day break?”

Sandor continued to stare at you for a moment, and the silence made your palms sweat even in the bracing chill of the wind. Then, he stepped towards you and you held your breath in anticipation. “You assume correctly.” He stepped right past you and started up the hill. “I won’t be sleeping tonight. Gonna keep watch. You can sleep with Anna, I’d assume it’s better than sleeping on Stranger’s back…” He turned his head at the top of the hill. “I risked a lot to get you out of that Hell hole, (Y/n). I’m not saying you need to be grateful or.. I’m just saying it should mean something to you… If you choose to go off on your own in the morning, you need to know that it meant something to me…”

You watched him disappear into the dark sky again and sighed, finally releasing your tight fists. It meant something to me… When you laid down, you held Anna’s hand to ground you as you tried to settle into slumber. A part of you that you were ashamed to admit to wished it was Sandor Clegane’s hand that you were holding.

[httpsdana]

Maybe one for Xavi where he gets you name tattooed on his chest and you notice in when your in bed and he’s shirtless

Signed and Sealed~Xavi Simons

・❥・prompt list

・❥・masterlist -> part 2

・❥・who I write for

y/n and Xavi were sprawled on his bed, wrapped in a shared blanket as the two of them attempted to watch a movie.

Well, she was trying to watch it—Xavi, as usual, had other ideas.

“You’re not even paying attention,” she muttered, swatting at his hand as he lazily traced shapes on her arm.

“Why would I?” he teased, his lips quirking into a smirk. “You’re more interesting than whatever cheesy plot this is.”

“You don’t even know the plot because you’re not watching!”

“Exactly.” He grinned. “I’ve got better things to look at.”

Rolling her eyes, she snuggled back against him, feeling his chest rise and fall beneath her. But then he shifted beneath again, letting out an exaggerated groan.

“Ugh, why is it so hot in here? Are you trying to cook me alive?”

“Maybe I am,” she joked, smiling up at him. “What better way to test your resilience?”

“Yeah, sure,” he replied, sitting up and tugging his shirt over his head. “Let’s see how resilient you are when I make you walk home in the rain.”

“You’d never,” she quipped, but her voice trailed off as her eyes landed on his now bare chest.

There, inked just over his heart, was her name.

“Xavi…” she breathed, sitting up straighter as her gaze locked onto the tattoo.

He glanced down, his expression instantly morphing into a smug grin. “Oh, that? Took you long enough to notice.”

“That’s my name,” she whispered, almost in disbelief. “On your chest. My name.”

“Yup,” he said nonchalantly, like he hadn’t permanently marked his body for her. “Thought it was time to make my priorities clear.”

“Xavi,” she said again, her voice slightly shaky as she touched the tattoo lightly. “You got this for me?”

“For us,” he corrected softly, wrapping his hand around hers and pressing it against the ink. “Because you’re the most important part of my life, and I wanted a way to show it. Forever.”

Her heart swelled at his words, but she couldn’t resist teasing him. “Forever? What if I dump you for taking the last cookie again?”

He grinned. “Then I’ll tell everyone I got this tattoo because you make the best cookies. At least it’ll still be true.”

“You’re such a dumbass.”

“And you’re perfect,” he countered, his tone shifting to something softer as his free hand cupped her cheek. “Every time I see this, I’ll think about how lucky I am to have you. To love you.”

Tears prickled her eyes, and you leaned in, kissing him softly. “You’re crazy, you know that?”

“Crazy about you,” he said immediately, grinning against her lips. “Come on, you set me up for that one.”

She laughed, shaking her head as she brushed her fingers over the tattoo again. “Did it hurt?”

“Not as much as I thought it would,” he replied. “But then again, you’re worth any kind of pain.”

She groaned. “Stop! You’re so cheesy.”

“Cheesy? Me? Never,” he protested, though his grin only widened. “I’m romantic. There’s a difference.”

“Sure there is.”

“Hey,” he said, tilting her chin up so her eyes met his. “I mean it, though. This tattoo? It’s because you’re my always. My everything. And if putting your name over my heart isn’t the best way to prove that, I don’t know what is.”

Her breath hitched at his words, and before she could stop hersels, she was kissing him again.

This time, it wasn’t soft or hesitant—it was full of the love she felt for him, love that words couldn’t always capture.

When she pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers, his eyes sparkling. “So… do I win boyfriend of the year, or what?”

She laughed, swiping at the tears in her eyes. “You win. But only if you promise to never pull a stunt like this without telling me again.”

“fine” he said, pressing a quick kiss to her nose. “But just so you know, I’ve got plenty more ideas where this came from.”

“Should I be scared?”

“Terrified,” he teased, pulling her back against his chest. “But admit it—you love it.”

She let out a content sigh, her fingers tracing over the ink once more. “I love it. And I love you.”

“Good,” he murmured, his lips brushing the top of her head. “Because you’re stuck with me now, name tattoo and all.”

[elyxir1zz]

★ — Enemies to Lovers  w/ sevika

CW : age gap , oral sex , THE STRAP , ditzy reader , brat taming , dirty talk , caught in the act

A/N : part 2 maybe coming soon

Summary : sevika being madly inlove wih you but masks hate over it. you were silcos biological daughter. silco barley paid attention to you and you were getting bored of the men from the bar.

MINORS AND MEN DNI

You held your breath watching sevika walk into silcos office with her arm broken and shimmer leaking on the ground. You sat on his couch with your knees to your chest, “the sister is back” she said, out of breath “from the dead?!” Silco turned to look at her. “She attacked me at a card game” sevika leaned on the other couch “wait,” you say moving your feet down, “she attacked you?! And you lost?” you laugh “i didn't lose, she had some girl enforcer with her” the brunette said looking at the floor “winners don't have excuses” you say giggling. “Keep patronizing me and i'll tear that laugh from your throat-” sevika was cut off by silco “sevika.” he started “y/n, leave.”

“What-” you furrow your brows as Sevika hid her smirk. Silcos face showed he wasn't joking as you stood up. Your silk dress barely covers anything as you leave, you press your ear against the door when you close it behind you. “You raised her to dress like that?” sevika looked over to silco “my focus was jinx. I regret it now since she can't fight.” silcos voice darkened. You look down at your hand, it was true. You always need someone coming and saving you. But at the same time you didn't mind it, you liked being vulnerable. “Tell me everything,” silco said. You already heard enough, blah blah sister blah jinx.

You find yourself in Jinx's workshop going over and sitting on her couch “sevika needs to be humbled” you pick at your nail “what’d she do” jinx asked, trying not to stray from the golden boys research. Your eyes widen, telling jinx about her sister might send her into an episode so its best to wait for her to find out on her own “nothing. She's just-” you pause earning jinxs attention “she's just being cocky.” you excuse. Jinx smirked, returning to the research journal.

You lay down sideways, watching jinx work as your eyes feel heavy. 

Sevika couldn't help but have those late night thoughts about you. The way your hips moved when you walked, and honestly she loved your thigh split dresses, how when you move too fast you can see a peak or two. She could escape that one time you got cut and your cry of pain lowkey turned her on. She found her hand palming herself at night thinking of you on more than one occasion. Your voice haunted her. She's had to fight the urge to smell the jacket you forgot at the bar lots of times

But your personality, it enrages her. You argue with her all the time, it's like you get off on arguing. If she had the misfortune of having to babysit you on a mission, you fight her every step of the way. Sometimes there are peaceful moments like when you fall asleep at the bar and it's just you and her. 

Sevika knows you're stronger than you look, she's seen you pissed off before and how much damage you can do. She also knows when your pretending to be weak, but…you were a little dumb for example she will say “there's someone on your left” during a mission and she watched you look to your right, realize your mistake, check your hands, then look left and by the time you look left she's already knocked out the person coming at you 

She definitely feels bad about how young you are and you were her boss's kid. But silco didn't really care about you. I mean don't get her wrong but she notices what he talks about and she looks back on your childhood, he always focused on jinx and just left you to defend yourself. Eventually just making his goons watch you 80% of the time. She also reassured herself from how you dress and act. She swears you know what she thinks about at night and feeds her on it. 

Sevika followed vi and cait best she could before they disappeared. So she swallowed her pride and went back to silcos office “we lost them” sevika sighed “lost who?” Jinx turned in her chair, throwing the clipboard on the desk. Sevikas eyes narrowed as she walked forward, accidentally tripping a wire. She tried to cover her mouth from the grey but it took over her lungs making her pass out on the desk. 

Sevika woke up, tied to silcos chair. Still drowsy before feeling jinx's hand on her cheek, surely waking her up “i know your secret” jinx moving sevika closer “oh really?” sev asked “yes! You have a crush on y/n” she said smirking, sevika felt her cheeks flush “what gives you that idea?” she asked “oh you know the way you stare at her ass when she leaves” jinx mocked “so who did you lose?” she continued earning a sigh from sevika “you sister is alive.” sevika said watching jinx's face change

“She's just so scary” therium sat in the booth as you cleaned his face up. The bar was empty and you found therium behind the counter covered in jinx's paint. “You cant let her get to you” you say taking the damp cloth running it over his cheek “and she keeps calling me chuck, my names not chuck” therium says “i know that chu- therium” you giggle as he looks at you with a serious face “sorry it suits you” you say as jinx stormed down the stairs “y/n there's a surprised for you in dads office.” 

You look over at her as she leaves the bar “why don't you take the night shift off? Get someone to cover you” you ask therium as you walk away. He chuckles “is that a joke?” “maybe” you tease going up the stairs and into silcos office. You walk over and sit in his chair looking at his desk. You followed the arrows looking up at the ceiling to see sevika hanging from the roof, with vulgar words written on her with marker  “Holy shit.”

You helped sevika down, not without laughing of course. Watching her clean herself up on silcos couch. “So what happened?” you sat next to her “jinx is off the rails.” sevika said “no shit, i don't think she'd hang you from the ceiling for fun” you giggle crossing your arms. Sevikas eyebrows furrowed “somebody really needs to put you in your place.” she looked over at you “okay if you're gonna insult me and not tell me what pissed her off ill go find out for myself, maybe tell silco about your slip up.” you stand up, sevika rose as well, towering over you.

She grabbed you, turning you to face her “what exactly are you gonna say? That you knew something was wrong with your sister and yet still let her leave?” Sevika was right. What would you say? “I-” you found speechless. Your face scrunched up as she squeezed your wrist, she got close to your face, your noses basically touching during this stare off

You both cave at the same time, your heart skips a beat as she pulls you into her. Sevika wanted her mouth on yours for months and now she finally has it. You lean into the kiss, fluttering your eyes close as you hand cups her cheek. She lifts you up, your legs automatically wrapping around her waist. She carries you to your bedroom, throwing you on the bed. Sevika climbed onto you, settling herself between your thighs. She leaned down, forcing her tongue into your mouth.

Your spit mixed together as your hands found themselves in her hair. She kissed you like it was keeping her alive, that she would suffocate without the taste of your spit. “I have been waiting to shut you up” she held your face. “I-” you started but before you could come up with a snarky comeback she pressed her knee into your cunt “what? Speechless? Im flattered” she looked into your eyes, full of nothing but lust 

“I know you've been wanting this too.” she slid her hand up your thigh “with these dresses, and the days where you “forget” your bra” sevika smirked pulling your panties off with ease “i'm gonna treat you better than any of the pricks that you pick up at the bar” she moved off the bed and on her knees, forcing your legs on her shoulders “really? Cause there faster than this.” you spout out finally. You felt the burn of sevikas hand on your ass “do you get this wet for them?” 

Sevika licked your clit. You were already sensitive so it made you arch your back. “Sevi-” you moan. She flicked her tongue against your clit. You clenched the sheets in your fists, sevika already had you on the edge of your orgasm. She pulled away right as you were about to cum. “Wha-” you lift your head up. she was looking up at you, kissing your stomach. She was back on top of you, taking your top off. She watched how your tits bounced down after being pulled up. 

“I don't suppose a dirty slut like you has a strap?” sevika asked, you pointed to your night stand. She smirked, pulling it out and putting it on over her clothes, she moved your skirt out of the way revealing your sensitive cunt. “Whos cunt does this belong to huh?” sevika roughly grabbed your face. “Yours” you cry out. That was enough for her to push the plastic purple cock into your entrance. Giving you a second before she started at a fast pace. Your breath hitches squirming under sevika 

“Mommy” you said in a needy way. She moved her hand to your tits, squeezing one “your body's mine.” she leaned down to bite your neck, still bucking her hips into yours “are you gonna cum for mama? Cum on mamas cock” sevika growled, your body sent shock waves down to your stomach. Your body stuttering as sevika slowed down for you “that's a good girl” she whispered 

Suddenly the door opened, surprisingly neither of you heard the knocking “y/n? I heard you yelling- OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING” therium quickly closed the door “i'll come back later!” he yelled 

[euclydya]

ok. no i get it. ok

[arolesbianism]

Thinks abt my lob corp nuggets oh so hard. I may only have second hand half remembered knowledge of project moon worldbuilding but I will still forever obsess over my lil guys who suck absolute ass

[bardkin]

feeling like you're "not disabled enough" to quit your job or at least ask for accommodations fuckin' sucks

[bitterrfruit]

Simon forgets how strong he is

18+ MDNI - cw: bruising - ~700 words

just some Simon Riley NSFW brainrot ♥︎ - part 2-ish, and part 3-ish here!!

Simon forgets how to be gentle.

When he's at war, fighting and shooting and killing day and night, all he knows is hardness. Brutality. Ruthlessness. His hands and heart grow calloused and rough in his months away from you. Using his unfathomable strength to survive is what he grows used to, it becomes second nature.

But it's your softness he remembers, to keep himself sane. It's all he thinks about. Dreams of.

The way the flesh of your hips, your ass, your breasts, your belly, pillows so deliciously between his fingers when he squeezes his handful - so warm, so supple. The way your vanilla-balmed lips graze his scarred skin so tenderly, however undeserved your sweetness is.

And when he finally returns home, after months of missing, craving you - when you stand in the door, honey thighs bare by virtue of the black panties you wore just to torture him, soft tummy peeking out from under your crop-top - he just can't restrain himself.

You greet him with your sugary smile, stretching up on your toes to curl your loving arms around his neck - your gentle voice, music; "Si, ah! I'm so glad you're okay…"

The moment your velvet skin touches his, his shackles crumble. Like a beast starved, he clutches you. Mammoth arms curl around you, constricting, gripping you eagerly like you might be a dream; liable to turn to a memory, to smoke.

His avaricious embrace lifts your feet from the ground, though he doesn't mean to - he burrows his nose and mouth into the crook of your neck, lets the curls of your hair smother him and fill his chest with the faint scent of your fruity shampoo. Fights every urge to take a bite, like you're a ripe nectarine.

Growls into your skin, through his jaw; "I fuckin' missed you, love. Christ, you have no idea how much I missed you."

"I missed you too, baby…" you coo into his ear, even your breathing is tender - he can't take it.

So he ferries you immediately to the sitting room, scoops you up like you weigh nothing, lets you coil your buttery thighs around his waist as he sits you on his lap on the sofa.

His wide hands take their greedy handfuls of your body - of your waist, of your hips, of your thighs, of your ass. Finally indulging the impulses he had dreamed about for so long - the very image he had fucked his fist to more times than he could count while parted from you.

With his teeth on your shoulder, tongue laving your warm skin; "So fuckin' soft," he grumbles deeply, and urges, "pretty thing. So soft. Fuck, I missed you."

His cock is hasty to grow boulder-solid under his trousers, and he chastises himself - but you answer with a cloying giggle, grinding your mound against its rigidity as if to torment him.

"Mm, you did miss me," you tease, little brat.

Then in an instant, all he can think about is the softness of your syrupy pussy, the gumminess of the inside of your cunt as its walls caress and milk his cock like it was built just to fit him.

You make him fucking ravenous, so voraciously eager to have you that he doesn't even notice his hands turn to vices around your flesh - fingers burrowing so deeply into the cheek of your ass that he might break through the skin.

"Ah!" You yelp, "Ow - Simon - you're hurting me-"

Your squeak of pain is enough to immediately shatter him - so he rapidly lifts you off of him, protecting you from his impulse. Stands you on your feet so that you're no longer victim to his inability to control himself.

"Shit, I'm sorry-" he grunts under his breath, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it's-" Your brows curl in worry, turning to look at where he had clawed you - and he sees the purple bruises where his hand had wrenched the flesh of your ass, the red lines where his fingernails had nearly punctured you. "Oh," you breathe at the sight, "…wow."

Drowning in visceral shame, he can barely bring himself to touch you again. But your soft hand caresses his hair, running through the sandy tresses - you, somehow, the one to comfort him.

"It's okay, baby, I know you didn't mean to," you purr fondly, and he leans forward to shamefully press as soft a kiss as he can into the bruise he gave you. Fucking monster.

"I'm sorry," he croaks into your skin, hoping his guilt will reverse his barbarity. "I just missed you."

"I know," you croon, turning to plant a loving kiss into his hair. "It's okay."

You guide him to lean back, mounting his lap again, letting your pelvis grind against the erection you were quick to reawaken.

His hands barely ghosting over your skin, he restrains himself, touches you carefully.

You whisper, into his stubbled cheek; "I'll show you how to be gentle again."

[inkedells]

pairing: old!logan x f!reader

Logan is sick and tired of you treating him like he's fragile. He'll ignore his relentless pain to show you what it's like to be taken apart, rough and slow, then fast and agonizing.

wc: 3.5k of pure smut

warnings: heavy smut, lap sitting, fingering, oral (f!receiving and m!receiving), dirty talk, facials, p in v, ruined orgasms, snowballing, kind of angsty, the claws come out, logan is angry with you, kinda toxic, definitely mean, but still kind of sweet, pwp basically, blood, but it's not bloodplay, it's just logan not caring if he's hurt, if i missed any let me know.

Logan comes home and throws himself back on that torn-up leather sofa, thumb flicking his lighter while the other holds a cigar. It’s less of a distraction from the ache in his bones, and more of a device to push you away. Because if you think he’s tired or angry or hurting, you won’t ask him to fuck you.

It’s not like he doesn’t want you. Of course he does. It’s the sympathy in your eyes when he gets tired from just a couple of minutes of thrusting that he hates. The whispered, “It’s okay. baby, I can ride you.” The gentle touches across his body and his neck and his face and his beard. It all reeks of pity. And if you were to sit him down one day and ask him why he hates being taken care of, he wouldn’t have an answer. He would push the voice in his head down into the void that all the strength he had left fell in, the voice shrinking until it’s nothing as it screams, because I’ve never been taken care of, and I would’ve loved it back when being taken care of wasn’t my only choice.

But it’s fine. You wouldn’t ever ask him that question because he knows for a fact that you don’t know. If you did, you wouldn’t be climbing onto his lap quietly, hands rubbing his sides as you press kisses to his neck.

“I missed you, Logan,” You whisper. Your hips aren’t moving; He knows he sat here like this to avoid fucking you, but he almost wishes you were seeking exactly that. Sex, as embarrassing as it would be for him, is better than your sick love. He doesn’t think you love in the way lovers do. It’s the kind of love meant for sick puppies, or the lonely old woman sitting on the bus with all her belongings in plastic bags.

He turns his head to take a drag of his cigar. Silence.

You hold his face, forcing him to look at you as you kiss him. Slow, chaste, no tongue. He feels scrutinized by your touches, and something nervous seats itself deep in his belly.

“How was your day?” You ask, your gaze snapping between his eyes.

Logan closes them. “I’m tired,” He says flatly.

“I know. It’s okay.”

There it is again. Pity.

He scoffs. It’s quiet. Barely there. He didn’t mean to. He watches your face fall the smallest bit. A year ago, he wouldn’t have noticed, and if he would’ve, he would blurt out an apology. Now, he does notice, but he secretly wants to watch it fall even further if it means you’ll realize how much you’ve been hurting him.

You swallow, your thumb rubbing his cheekbone. “I found an American poetry anthology in the basement today. 20th Century. My favorite poem was in it.”

He mumbles, “In a Station of the Metro. T.S. Elliot.” Remembering the poem you told him about months ago sounds too much like sorry. He wishes he’d pretended to forget.

“Ezra Pound,” You correct. Your smile tells him he’s forgiven for an apology he never offered. “If you can recite it I’ll be impressed.”

“I’m not reciting a goddamn poem.” He sounds sarcastic, and it relieves you, but then you kiss him and he’s wound tight again.

You sigh as you pull back. “What’s bothering you, baby?”

“Nothing’s bothering—”

“What’s bothering you?” You interject.

He shakes his head, clenching his jaw. He makes the decision to sacrifice his dignity for the sake of stopping this conversation. You never could resist an orgasm, especially one caused by him. “Enough of that.”

“What?”

But he’s putting out his cigar and lifting you off his lap with a suppressed grunt, then pushing you down on the couch.

“Logan,” You protest.

He continues undoing the drawstring of your pajamas, with a kind of slippery urgency that tells you he's trying to shut you up more than he's trying to satiate his own desire.

You sit up straight, swatting his hand away. “Stop.”

He withdraws immediately, breathing hard through his nose as he looks down at the floor. He was wrong, before, about you not knowing. You definitely know, because you don’t place a loving hand on his thigh and you don’t kiss his shoulder. He’s grateful.

Instead, you observe his profile, then the quiet tremor in his hand. The impossible stillness of the rest of him. He tends to do that when his nerves are on fire. Thinks being a statue is what people who aren’t in chronic pain do.

“Don’t do that,” He mumbles, feeling your eyes on him. “I don’t need you feeling sorry, or whatever—whatever the fuck else goes through your head when you’re around me.”

You say nothing. That’s the most he’s said about his feelings in a while. He knows it, so he forces himself to say nothing, too. It doesn’t last long.

“I’m not dying.” His voice cracks a little at the end and he fights the urge to squeeze his eyes shut.

“I know.” The words come out in a tumble, as if you’re rushing to participate in his lie.

“Then stop looking at me like I’m dying.”

“Okay.” Tears prickle your eyes but you blink them away.

“Okay,” He repeats.

You take a deep breath. “But it’s okay to be cared for, Logan.”

He laughs incredulously, and suddenly his volume is rising and his voice is firm. “Would you just—Would you just quit being my fuckin’ mommy? Would you?”

He only lets your silence marinate for a second before he rushes in to kiss you, ignoring the cramps in his muscles as he tugs your neck forward roughly. You squeak against his mouth, fighting his impossible grip on you, but you give up with a shaky exhale through your nose when your efforts prove useless.

“I can take care of you, too,” He grits out. It would sound sweet if it weren’t for the frustration in his tone. He pushes you onto the couch the same way he did moments before as he opens your legs by your knees and settles between them. He sucks a dark mark onto your neck, his fingers digging bruises in your ribs.

“I know you can,” You reassure him. You can see where this is going. “And I love when you do.” You gasp when he pulls your shirt up over the curve of your breasts.

“No. You don’t.” He pinches one of your nipples and sucks the other into his mouth for a brief second. “It’s okay. I’ll show you so you don’t forget again. You won’t want to get ruined any other way.”

“Logan,” You sigh.

He hums against the soft skin just underneath your breast as his hands ravage your body. He begins to unsheathe the adamantium claws in one of his hands so he can rip your top open. It’s slow and excruciating, so he closes his eyes, but the pain is over too soon and his suspicions are confirmed when he opens his eyes to see them stuck halfway.

You don’t expect him to lean back and individually tug each blade free. There’s blood, and now it’s dripping onto your belly, and he mumbles something that sounds like an apology as he wipes the dots of red away with his thumb.

But the hazel in his eyes is alive again. You hope it’s you that did that. Hope it’s not the pain or the sight of his own blood. You want to ask him, just to make sure. You don’t like hurting, right? You just really like me—

He slices through your shirt, careful not to graze your skin, and you try to ignore the fact that he’s never that cautious with himself, but you can’t.

“Logan, you’re bleeding.” Your voice is unstable.

“It’ll heal,” He says quickly, passively. He wipes his burning palm on his wifebeater.

“But that takes a long time now.”

He meets your eyes, his movements frozen. He’s angry and you’re not stupid. You’re pitying him again. He needs you to stop fucking pitying him. When he speaks, his voice is deep and rough and slow, and you would be scared if he wasn’t your Logan. “Are you done?”

You don’t know what to say, so you just close your eyes and nod. You hear his claws retract faster than when they came out, and almost simultaneously, he’s shoving that same hand under your waistband as two of his calloused fingers push themselves into your cunt.

You arch toward him involuntarily, a ragged moan falling from your lips as he tugs your pajamas off your legs and spits on your pussy to ease the slide of his fingers.

Each groan he pulls from your throat is a step toward dispelling the doubt from your body. Doubt of his capabilities, of his strength, of his devotion to you.

“Beg me to fuck you,” He demands, fingering you roughly.

Your mind is cloudy at this point, from sadness or arousal or both, but you give him what he wants. “Fuck me,” You whisper, your eyelids about to flutter shut as you shed a tear.

But then you catch Logan smiling.

He grabs your jaw with his free hand, and you look at him immediately. “You’re gonna let me use it, right? Get myself off?” You lazily trace his features with your gaze—His nose, his wrinkles, his beard—because you know if it were your fingers instead he’d mistake it for tenderness and get mad again.

You nod, but it’s weak with how hazy everything is.

“Good girl.” 

“Please,” You sigh, “I need you inside of me. I need to—I need it.”

“I know. I know what you’re feeling before you feel it.” He lets the pad of his thumb draw quick circles on your clit. “What? Thought I couldn’t hear you playing with yourself in the shower? If I can hear your heartbeat when I walk through the door, what makes you think I wouldn’t have heard you whining my name?”

“Logan,” You sigh, your hips lifting off the couch, coaxing his fingers deeper for as long as possible before he’s shoving you back down with the heel of his palm.

“I’m gonna play with you now. I’ll fuck you after, don’t worry your pretty head about it.”

“What do you mean, play with me?” You breathe, fighting to keep your eyes open as he finds your g-spot.

He grins dirtily, in a way that makes your head spin and your thighs clench around his hand. You’re barely processing his words as he bends down to mumble in your ear, “Right when you’re about to make a mess on my fingers, I’m gonna stop. Then I’m gonna go down on you. And I’m gonna lick your pretty pussy, maybe even fuck you with my tongue if you’re good. And guess what? Guess what I’m gonna do when you’re this close?”

“You’re gonna stop,” You whine.

“I’m gonna stop,” He nods, and it’s mocking, but it’s gentle, and he’s fucking killing you with the way he’s talking right now. “But I’m not mean. I’ll give you a break. You can calm down when my dick is in your mouth, okay?”

“Okay,” You breathe, your hips unabashedly grinding on his fingers. But you want to reassure him he is mean, and you especially want to tell him how much you love it. “Logan, I’m gonna—”

He withdraws his fingers from you so fast it almost burns. You clench around nothing, your lower half spasming as your orgasm barely approaches before falling away again. Only a hint of pleasure is able to make it through the cracks, and you cling onto it, hoping if you focus hard enough, the wave will come back. It doesn’t. You should regret warning Logan that you were about to finish, but all you feel is comfort now that he’s finally proud of you again.

Another tear streams down the side of your face, landing in your hair. Logan’s watching you as he pets your thigh, his lips parted when he leans down over you. He kisses your wet cheek softly, his beard rough on your skin. It’s unlike him to offer you affection this gracefully during sex. It’s always shaky limbs and suppressed groans and dirty kisses. Both of you know it. 

He moves down your body, until his face is hovering over your cunt. He doesn’t have his reading glasses on, so he has to pull his head back and squint as he spreads your folds with his thumbs, studying what you look like. He licks a stripe over you. A second, longer one, before he zeroes in on your clit. You can do nothing except lay there and take it as your hips twitch from overstimulation under his firm hands.

“Oh my god,” You whisper, your fingers twisting in his hair. “F-Fuck.”

He moans at that, pressed right up against you, the sound deep and delicious and vibrating. “Feel good?” He asks teasingly with a nip to your inner thigh.

“What do—What the fuck do you think?”

He breathes a laugh. It’s short and airy, not frustrated like before, and a warmth ignites itself in the back of your mind. It’s overpowering even the feeling of his mouth licking and sucking your most sensitive area; It’s the relief that he’s still hiding the Logan you fell in love with somewhere in there.

You wind your fingers in his hair and scratch his scalp. You try to do it lovingly, although it comes across as sexual and Logan’s breath hitches in pleasure against your pussy instead. So as you suppress a gasp from the pure skill of his tongue, you show your affection differently—you hold the wounded hand he has resting face-up beside your hip. The cuts embedded there are easy to avoid as your thumb rubs the lines of his palm, because even though you can’t see his hand, the puffiness surrounding each slash on his skin are your cues.

He doesn’t move his hand away, but his tongue falters for a fraction of a second before slowing down.

The kind of love you’re pressing into Logan’s skin with each gentle stroke is unrecognizable to him. It’s not the pitiful love he’s so used to. He thinks it might be the opposite. Admiration. Reverence.

“I’m so empty,” You whisper, bringing your hands to grope Logan’s biceps. They’re sweaty and hard and flexing under your touch, and you wonder if he would let you ride them one day.

When your climax starts to creep up on you, it’s thanks to the image of Logan forcing you to lick your arousal clean off his bicep. Indulgently swirling your tongue along his pronounced veins, savoring the taste of his sweat mixed with yourself. He’d probably say somthing like, fuckin’ filthy. Getting yourself off on my arm. Who does that? Are you that obsessed with me?

Logan feels you squeezing his tongue, harder than all the other times before, so he withdraws at the last moment, ruining your orgasm once again.

 You convulse silently, your breath coming out stuttered with your twitching jaw. As if he can read your mind, he unbuckles his belt and removes his pants and boxers. But he doesn’t strip himself of his wifebeater, stained with blood.

It’s the hottest thing in the world.

You blink, and suddenly Logan is hovering above you with his cock over your face. He rubs his leaking tip on your cheeks first, then your lips, and when you open your mouth to take him, he moves his cock away and nudges your jaw shut with his free hand, shaking his head.

“Not yet.”

A whine lodges itself in your throat as Logan spreads his pre-come over the plush of your lips. It escapes only when he lets go of his cock in favor of massaging his wetness across your lips and on your tongue with his thumb. His hard cock is bobbing above you, almost tantalizingly, the occasional drip of arousal landing itself somewhere near your eyes, then your hair, then your mouth, and you watch Logan’s brow furrow as you try to lick whatever you can.

His resolve snaps. A calloused hand squeezes at your cheeks until your jaw falls open. His cock is in your mouth before you can process it, thick and heavy and wet. So. Incredibly. Wet. You start to wonder how it’s even possible that he’s this hard at his age, but you know he wouldn’t want you to be wondering that, so you happily push the thought away.

You suck your cheeks in, swirling your tongue around his tip as you bob your head to meet the subtle, almost imperceivable thrust of his hips. You’re taking it well, you know you are. So you keep taking it, until Logan can no longer successfully suppress his moans and his hips are jerking out of rhythm.

He moves back until his cock slips out of your mouth. “I don’t wanna come like this. Wanna fuck you.”

“Yeah, yes. Fuck me. Please.”

He stands up and turns you on your front, your knees pressing into the soft couch cushions with your ass in the air.

“Logan,” You plead as you feel his tip pressing at your entrance.

“I’ve got you,” He says quietly, pushing in until half of his cock is comfortably squeezed by your cunt. Both your breathing is loud and labored, and there’s a specific kind of intimacy in knowing you’re both feeling this identical need. Overwhelming and hot and unquenchable by anything other than each other.

His first thrust is shallow, but it ruins you all the same. With how thick he is, it should feel like an intrusion, and it does. But all you can think about is how perfectly he fits inside of you, filling you extraordinarily with only a few inches.

“Fuck,” Logan breathes. “Look at that.” He traces around your entrance with his thumb. “Stretching so wide to take me.”

You moan, pressing your cheek against the sofa as you rock with his thrusts. He still hasn’t pressed all the way in yet, and you’re growing impatient. “Come on,” You urge, pushing yourself back to force more of his cock into you.

You expect him to chastise you for being so greedy, but he listens to you instead with a slow, full thrust. His tip nudges your cervix with how deep he is, and a ragged moan escapes you. “Yes,” You whine, “Oh god, yes.”

Logan’s breaths are coming out heavy through his nose, quick and occasionally intertwined with a grunt. His thrusts are getting quicker, and it’s starting to burn, but you welcome every sensation he has to offer you. He pulls out, spits on his cock, then shoves himself back inside, and this time you’re both unabashedly moaning the minute you’re joined again. 

His fingers dig in the plush of your ass as he observes himself disappearing into you. It hurts, but you love it. He knows you do, so he spanks you quickly before gripping you and rutting against you again.

“I love when you fuck me,” You whisper, feeling ashamed as soon as the confession leave you. “When you properly fuck me.”

He slows for a moment so he can watch his cock glisten with how wet you are. “I know.” He picks back up his punishing pace.

Your eyes begin to water, from pain or pleasure, you can’t tell. “I love you.”

“I know,” He repeats, this time breathier. His hips stutter. You can tell he’s close.

“I want it on my face,” You tell him quickly, his impending orgasm giving you no time to worry about being too forward.

He pulls out again, letting you turn onto your back as he shifts up your body. He jerks himself furiously, but you swat his hand away and take it upon yourself to stroke him.

“Come for me,” You tell him honestly, softly. His eyes squeeze shut and his lips part around a trembling exhale.

He groans as his release coats your face in long stripes. Some of it even lands in your hair, but you don’t care. Your own fingers work your clit as you stick your tongue out and taste him. Logan bends down to kiss you, chest heaving and hands shaky, and you rub yourself faster as you swap his release between the two of you with a hum. He pulls back to let you swallow, then he kisses your cheeks with his rough beard, uncaring about the mess on your face.

You don’t know you’re coming until it’s over and you’re breathless, and it’s almost excruciating with how much he’s ruined you, but you’re so exhausted you can’t find it in yourself to dwell on it a second longer.

You wrap your arms around his neck and tug him down for another kiss because you can hardly remember the one he just gave you.

“I’m sorry I had been treating you all wrong,” You say carefully.

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” His voice is rough.

You nod, your lips brushing his as you smooth sweaty strands of hair away from his forehead. These touches are hard for him. Any variation of your chaste affection is a reminder that he’s not really Logan anymore.

But the shame in it is gone. Replaced by the reassurance that he can still surround you with safety and firm hands and blatant desire;

And for a moment, he’s his old self again.

A/N: it's been so long since i've written anything, but logan has been consuming my brain for weeks so i had to get this out. i hope it's true to his character. <3 also, my asks are open, so feel free to request anything you want to read about.