#it was supposed to be so much lighter but uh....it did not do that

[andragoras-in-vanity]

i have...mixed feelings about this. mostly im just glad my hair isnt gold anymore

[steddieas-shegoes]

Eddie loved flying. When the sun was out and he could watch the cars and houses get smaller while they reached altitude. When everything felt a bit lighter and his stress was under the clouds.

He did not love flying when the weather was bad.

In fact, he’d joked with the flight attendant that maybe they should delay the flight until the wind and dark clouds passed, but she just laughed and said the pilots were used to it.

Good for them. Eddie wasn’t.

He always sat in the window seat in first class, usually had some old businessman on his way to close a very important deal next to him. That wasn’t an option for this last minute flight though, so he was in the last row of the plane, leg bouncing nervously as people continued to board.

“As a courtesy to those around you, please stow your personal items under the seat in front of you as soon as you are in your seat. This allows a faster boarding process for all of us. Thank you!”

The announcement was a reminder that Eddie was flying without his usual carry-on items. His tour manager had packed him a checked bag and sent him on his way.

So he had his phone and his wallet, and eyes looking out the window next to him watching rain start to hit the tarmac below.

“Excuse me, I think that’s my seat,” a man’s voice said from the aisle.

Eddie looked over and saw a long line of men roughly his age in matching track suits, backpacks over their shoulders, and the Notre Dame logo on their jackets.

They were all tall. Well, all except the guy talking to him now. He was pretty average size.

“Uh. I don’t think so man. I’m 36F,” Eddie answered as kindly as his nerves would allow.

The guy checked his phone, brows creasing together.

“I’m 36F.”

No fucking way was Eddie giving up his window seat.

“Is there a problem?” A flight attendant asked from behind them.

“We’re both supposed to be in 36F?” The guy held his phone towards the attendant.

“May I see your boarding pass, sir?” The attendant asked Eddie.

Eddie pulled his own phone out, holding out the mobile boarding pass for her to see it.

“Sorry sir, it looks like you should be in 36E.”

Oh no.

Oh god no.

A middle seat?

There was no fucking way.

“I’m sorry, would it be at all possible for me to be in a window seat?” Eddie didn’t want to cause problems, but his chest was starting to clench and his breaths were coming in short pants.

“Unfortunately, this is a sold out flight. We wouldn’t have any available for you.”

He could feel eyes on him, quite a few of them, but none as obvious as the guy who actually belonged in 36F.

“We can just switch, man. No big deal.”

Eddie sighed with relief.

“Thank you, yeah. That’d be great.”

The attendant nodded and gestured for the guy to sit down.

Someone behind him sat on his other side and they immediately started talking as if nothing had happened.

See? Eddie had actually done them a favor! Now he could talk to his teammate for whatever sport he played and Eddie could watch their impending demise through the window.

The plane was rocking back and forth from the force of the wind blowing outside and the sky continued to grow darker despite the early afternoon hour. Eddie was considering sending a goodbye text to his band when he felt a hand on his arm.

“Hey, you okay?”

Eddie’s eyes widened as he turned to look at the guy next to him.

“Do you normally get nervous when you fly? Or is this your first time?” He continued. “Sometimes it helps to just close your eyes during takeoff.”

It was kind of him to try this, truly, but Eddie knew kindness wouldn’t save them if lightning hit them.

“I’m just not a fan of storms.”

The guy was watching him while his teammate on the other side of him talked to the guys across the aisle. Eddie was surrounded by this entire team. The irony was not lost on him that he spent so much of his youth expressing disdain for sports ball and might die among a group of sports ball players.

“Steve.” The guy nudged his shoulder against Eddie’s instead of offering his hand, an odd thing to do but the contact was grounding.

“Eddie.”

“You wanna hold my hand?”

Did they already die during takeoff? Did Eddie somehow end up in heaven?

This very attractive man, who definitely didn’t even know who Eddie was, was offering comfort in these trying times. Offering to hold his hand!

“Uh.”

Steve smiled. “It’s okay if not, but I figured it might help you focus on something else.”

“Sure.”

Steve held his hand out, palm up, and Eddie laced their fingers together.

“So, Eddie. Tell me where you’re off to.”

Eddie breathed in, breathed out. “My Uncle. He’s getting his appendix out so I’m trying to get there before he wakes up.”

“Oh. I had mine out when I was 10! Is he okay?” Steve seemed genuinely concerned and Eddie felt his stomach swoop.

“Yeah! Yeah, they caught it before it ruptured. But because of his age, they said his recovery might be a little rough so I’m gonna stay with him for a week to make sure he doesn’t overdo it. He’s a stubborn old man who’d probably be pulling weeds from his garden within hours if I wasn’t going so.” Eddie looked back out the window. Fingers reached under his chin, turning him away from the window.

“Eyes on me.”

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Eddie nodded and squeezed Steve’s hand.

“Good.”

Fuck.

“So, you’re close with your uncle?” Steve asked, as if he hadn’t just turned Eddie’s entire world upside down.

“Mhm. He basically raised me. More like a dad,” Eddie whispered out.

The pilot was making an announcement, but you couldn’t pay Eddie to tell you what it was for. He barely even noticed that they were backing away from the boarding zone.

“Do you visit him often?”

“As often as I can. My job keeps me busy,” Eddie shrugged, not really wanting to give it away, didn’t wanna give Steve a reason to look at him differently.

Eddie was gonna soak up this attention as long as he could.

It was actually helping distract him.

“I get that. I mean, I play basketball for Notre Dame and it basically is a full time job. We travel so much, most of my classes are online. I hardly ever get back home to visit my family,” Steve admitted with a sad smile. “Luckily, they come see me at my home games when they can. Does your uncle get to visit you sometimes?”

Just as Eddie went to answer, he caught lightning out of the corner of his eye and his entire body tensed.

“Hey.” Steve’s voice was firm, drawing his attention away from the window quickly. “Keep your eyes on me. We’re fine. Just you and me talking right now.”

They were nearly at the runway for takeoff and it was getting harder to focus on Steve’s words, the warmth of his hand in his, the fact that if it were truly dangerous, they wouldn’t even be cleared for takeoff.

As the plane sped up, Eddie whimpered.

He’d be embarrassed later if he survived.

Steve’s hand pulled from his and wrapped around his shoulder, pulling him against his side while his other hand cupped the back of his head and kept his face against his chest.

“Just breathe. I’ve got ya.”

And really, if the plane went down in flames, no one could save them. But hearing it did help, especially with arms holding him so tightly, he almost didn’t even remember he was on a plane.

But not quite.

The wind was strong enough to make the takeoff rough, shaking the plane more than usual as it left the ground.

Eddie’s hand gripped Steve’s shirt so tight, he would probably cause a tear if his nails weren’t so dull.

He stayed like that while they continued to climb above the clouds, the air pockets making the flight a bit more turbulent than Eddie was okay with.

He felt the vibrations of Steve talking, but didn’t hear him, didn’t even know if he was talking to him or the guy next to him who probably thought Eddie was an idiot.

The pilot made an announcement he didn’t hear, but he figured if he was gonna die, he could die against the chest of a nice, hot guy.

“Worst of it’s almost done, babe,” Steve said, lips against the top of Eddie’s head.

Gareth would never stop teasing him about this if he ever found out.

Being consoled by a sports ball guy during a flight he’s taken at least 30 times in the last two years.

New low? Maybe new high if he managed to get his number.

Steve’s fingers played with his hair, and he slowly felt his body relax.

His last thought before drifting asleep was how nice it was to be held like this.

***

“I think he’s probably a cookie guy.”

Eddie’s eyes blinked open to Steve’s voice quietly rumbling in his ear.

He’d been adjusted at some point so his head rested on Steve’s shoulder, one hand against his chest.

He couldn’t remember the last time he fell asleep on a flight. Maybe the last time they flew to London from LA right after a show?

And those had been perfect flying conditions.

He lifted his head as he rubbed at his eyes and tried not to let the butterflies take over when Steve’s hand squeezed his hip.

“Hey sleepyhead. You want cookies or pretzels?”

“Cookies always. Please.” Eddie yawned.

As he took the package of Biscoff cookies, he noticed how smooth the flight was and the sun shining through the window.

Steve’s arm stayed around him.

The entire flight.

Even after he’d gotten up to use the restroom.

Even when there was no real reason to offer him comfort anymore.

Even when they landed on the runway in Indianapolis and the seatbelt light turned off.

Even while they talked to each other the entire flight, sharing the smallest details about themselves as if it was a first date.

“Would it be okay if I get your number? I’d like to check on your uncle later if that’s okay,” Steve asked, suddenly seeming more nervous than he had the entire flight.

I’m “Yes! Yeah, please,” he quickly typed it into Steve’s phone, putting his name as Eddie M 🛫. “Uh, thanks for, ya know, helping. Kind of embarrassing.”

“No reason to be embarrassed. It was scary.”

“Yeah. I just figured I fly so much, I should be used to it.”

“You never told me what your job was,” Steve nudged him as he pocketed his phone.

“I didn’t.” Eddie almost didn’t wanna ruin this. But he’d figure it out or find out and then it’d be worse. “I’m the lead singer for Corroded Coffin.”

“Is that…a famous band?”

The guy on the other side of Steve smacked his shoulder. “Dude, one of their songs is on our locker room hype playlist. Dustin’s obsessed.”

“Shut up, Lucas. You know I have my own playlist!” Steve turned back to Eddie and rolled his eyes. “Sorry. So you’re like famous.”

“You could say that,” Eddie hated saying it though, at least in these situations. “You really didn’t know?”

“Nah. I’m more of a pop and 80s kinda guy.”

“Maybe you could send me a playlist? Ya know, when you check on my uncle later,” Eddie suggested.

“Sure. I’ve got a two and a half hour bus ride back to campus to work on one.” Steve smirked. “You gonna be alright now?”

“Yeah. Thanks again. For taking care of me.”

“Anytime. Anything you need.”

And Eddie was pretty sure he meant it.

[atimeofyourlife]

Time after time

written for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt: uncle wayne adopts steve | rated: t | wc: 942 | cw: reference to abuse, reference of canon fake suicide | tags: steve harrington has bad parents, steve harrington needs a hug

The first time they met, Wayne knew the boy couldn't be much older than fourteen. Definitely younger than Eddie, who was fast approaching sixteen. It was early, a little before 6 am, during summer vacation, no less. Wayne had finished his shift and called into Benny's to get a coffee and breakfast, on the mornings he did this, he was almost always the first customer of the day. Occasionally beaten in by a cop, or a firefighter, or anyone else that had been stuck with a night shift. But he had never seen a kid in so early. Sat alone in the corner booth nursing a cup of coffee with an almost empty plate in front of him.

"Mornin' Wayne. The usual?" Benny asked.

"You know it. But, uh. What's with the kid?" Wayne replied, nodding toward the boy in the corner.

"Dick and Linda's kid. They're back in town, and he needs a safe place. So he comes here."

"Why don't you report it?" "You think I haven't tried? His parents paid off just about everyone from the mayor down. Kid's not lucky enough to have any other family around to look out for him."

The kid came over with his empty cup and plate.

"I've told you a thousand times that you don't need to do that kid." Benny said.

The kid just shrugged.

"What's your name, kid?" Wayne asked.

"Steve, sir. Steve Harrington." He replied.

"I'm Wayne. And I wish my boy was as polite as you."

The second time they met, it was in more unfortunate circumstances. Benny's funeral. There'd been weird shit going on in town, starting with the Byers' kid going missing. Wayne didn't believe any of the official stories. But especially not the story of Benny's supposed suicide. He knew Benny so well, and something like that wasn't the sort of thing to cross his mind.  He took his place in the community too seriously for that.

But the kid had changed. A few years older, and a lot more haunted. The look in his eyes giving away that he'd seen more than his fair share in his young life. And he was jumpy, almost always looking over his shoulder.  He kept to himself, away from everyone else there. Wayne didn't see much of him until after. Steve was standing at the edge of the parking lot, his hands shaking as he tried to get his lighter to work.

"Here, kid." Wayne held his own lighter out.

"Thank you, sir." Steve replied, after taking a long puff on his cigarette.

"No need for thanks, kid. You doing okay?"

"I. I think I'm gonna miss him. He's helped me out a lot." Steve admitted.

"That was Benny for you. Always ready to help anyone out. But do you have anyone else you can reach out to if you need it?"

Steve hesitated a moment. "Yeah, sir. I do."

The third time, it was less of a meeting than Steve yelling directions at everyone. Tabitha, a woman who lived on the other side of the trailer park, collapsed in the middle of Big Buy. The kid snapped into action without second thought, checking Tabitha for a pulse, for her breathing. He yelled at an employee to call for an ambulance as he started chest compressions. At another to clear space. At some other customers to block the end of the aisle so no one else could stand around and watch. Wayne approached as Steve gave rescue breaths, before going back to the chest compressions. When he noticed Wayne, he looked like he was about to yell at him, but Wayne spoke first.

"It's okay, kid. She's my neighbor. And I know CPR too, so when you need a break I can take over."

They swapped places a few times before the paramedics showed up and took over.

"You did good, son. You acted quicker than any adults did. You may have just saved her life." "Anyone would have done it, sir. I was just the closest who knew what to do."

The fourth time, it was at the hospital. Steve in the hospital bed next to Eddie's, identical wounds, but Steve's were infected. Wayne got to talking to Steve while Eddie slept.

"I tried to protect him the best as I could, sir. I patched him up, and made sure he got to the hospital in time. I know I should have done more-"

"You did more than enough. You kept him alive, now you need to focus on making sure that you're healthy. And you can drop the sir shit. It's Wayne."

After that, Wayne lost count of the meetings. From sharing the hospital room with Eddie, to being friends, to being more. He would do as much for Steve as he would for Eddie, and wanted to ensure that both always had somewhere safe to return to.

"Steve, if you ever want to get out of that big empty house of yours, you're more than welcome to join us here. We'd love to have you move in with us." Wayne said to Steve one day while they were cooking together. Eddie always conveniently disappeared when anything cooking related came up.

"Sir, Wayne. I couldn't put you out like that." Steve replied.

"Nonsense. You're as much my kid as Eddie is, it don't matter who your momma or daddy is. We want you here, you spend enough time here as it is, we might as well make it official."

"I, Wayne. I'd like that." Steve was quite choked up, so Wayne pulled him into a hug. All was going to be okay, with him and his two boys.

[islayhawkin]

Let me help you

Newt x f!reader

Summery: you're both in love with eachother and newt pays you a visit in the med hut so you can take care of his limp.

Pining teenagers/feelings/slight hurt/comfort/ pure fluff

Trigger warning: mentions of injury and suicide attempt

part 2

The light was getting darker outside the med-hut and you could see the boys return to their sleeping bags as you pulled out a lighter and lit the candle on the table. Every day was like this. You'd take the afternoon shift in the med-hut, you'd have no work to do when it got dark, then you'd do some reading and wait for newt to pick you up. Somehow this routine developed over time. Newt had to do his evening round to check if everything was normal and safe to go to bed. The two of you weren't dating, though the others teased newt constantly about it. And if he would be honest he wished it would be true.

Ever since you came up he couldn't help but adore you. It was about a few weeks after his suicidal attempt. He still had his improvised prop around his leg and crutches to move around. His thoughts had been eating him up from the inside.

And there you were. Of course there was a big ruckus about you being a girl but after a while they all realised how much they needed you in their group. Between the boys there was rarely a gentle touch or loving words. You brought a bit more love, bit more home into their midst. And newt was probably the one most needing of it at that moment. You became a med jack and every boy tried to come up with various reasons to need to be taken care of by you.

Newt obviously didn't need to find a reason. You were the one searching him out. Looking after his leg every other day. Doing what you could to ease his pain even thought he was always terribly embarrassed of needing help. But he loved those moments. It gave him hope. He felt comfort, he felt loved and cared for just for a moment and he chased that feeling ever since. At first he didn't understand what this feeling in his chest was when he saw you laugh, or look at him, crinkle your nose...literally anything you did. He was just a kid after all.

But now he wasn't anymore and he could tell exactly what he was feeling.

Newt walked into the doorway of the med-hut and leaned against the doorframe. Deliberately released the pressure of his bad leg and leaned on his good leg only.

You looked up from your book and gave him a smile. You noticed that his hair was a bit wet and because of this a bit darker than usual. "Hey. You finished?"

"Yeah." He gave you one of his sweet cheeky smiles.

You scanned his form as you noticed his stance against the doorframe. A small frown building on your face. "Is your leg acting up?" You asked softly.

Newt looked down at himself. "Uh I suppose that bloody thing is giving me a hard time right now. But it's alright. No need to worry." He dismissed.

"Is that why you're here?"

"Wha- no I was just gettin' you. I don't need anything..." He broke your gaze suddenly very interested in the wooden floor.

You gave him a look and stood up. "I'm gonna help you wether you want it or not. We can do it here or in bed if we're going anyways."

He sighed as a slight blush crept up his cheeks. "No that's really not nec-"

"It is newt. I know you want it too. You're just too..." you gestured at him. "Selfless to ask for help. Has always been the same with you..." you shook your head slightly. "Just sit down please." You pointed to the nearest bed.

He dramatically sighed and limped over to it to sit down. "How long have you been walking around like this?" You asked softly.

"Week or so." He muttered meakly.

You gave him a incredilous look. "Newt! I told you to come. Bloody shank." You scolded him in a loving way.

He looked down in his lap again. "Sorry. It wasn't that bad..."

"Yeah you could've gone a bit more until you literally collapse like last time. I don't know what you're punishing yourself for but I'm not allowing it again."

"I'm not-" he sighed and looked up. His deep brown eyes scanning your face. "Okay."

The side of your mouth quirked into a smile. "Good."

You lit the little stove with the flame of the candle and set a pot of water on to heat up. Clint and jeff had improvised a heat pad and filled a waterproof bag with hot water a while back. It worked surprisingly well. You always used it for your period days.

Meanwhile newt layed down on the bed. His leg dangled from the side and his arms rested lazily behind his head. That's when you realised his damp hair again. "Why's you're hair wet?" You pointed out.

He grabbed a strand to inspect it. "Showered."

You hummed in acknowledgement.

"I need to show the greenie around tommorow." You could hear that he was tired. His accent was getting thicker.

"Why you? Alby's in charge of that." You raised your brows.

"Yeah but apperently he's gone nuts the last few days and minho told me to do it because I'm a warmer welcome. I need to do every bloody thing around here. These shanks can't do anythin' on their own." He muttered.

"True. They'd be in chaos without you to keep them in line. Honestly a lot of them have anger issues I'm telling you."

Newt snickered.

"You wanna walk around with that greenie all day? I can ask fry. Or minho for that matter. He owes me a favour anyways."

Newt puffed some air out. "S'alright." His head turned. "Wait he owes you? For what?"

You supressed a smirk. "You don't wanna know."

Now newt wasn't able to stop his thoughts from running wild of possibilities what you did for minho.

You filled the heat bag up with hot water from the pot and closed it securely. Then you made your way over to him again and sat down on the bed. You lifted his limp up slightly and as he noticed your intention he moved it over your legs so you had a good acess to it. You softly pushed the trouser leg up above his knee that you could see his naked leg. His leg was skinny and pale as the rest of him. It had hair on it but not long and they were blonde so you couldn't really see it.

Not that you were thinking about such things in this moment.

Newt didn't really think about his body. Other then the hate he felt for that bloody limp he didn't care about such things. They were stuck in the middle of a maze with old clothes that they had to wear everyday. Those things weren't important to anybody in the glade.

But when you were looking at his bare leg he always was nervous. His eyes watched you closely from the position he was laying in. You could feel his eyes on you but it wasn't unpleasent.

You took the heat pad and layed it on his knee, making warmth spread through his leg. It eased the throbbing in his leg as his muscels relaxed. You both stayed like this for a moment. Your hand surrounding his knee with the heating pad. Silence filled the hut but it was comfortable. After a few moments you removed the pad again and layed it to the side. "Feels good right?"

"Yeah..." He whispered.

You placed you hands onto his warm knee now instead. "You tell me if something hurts. No refrain."

He hummed contently and nodded slightly.

As you started to massage the area around his knee gently you watched his face very closely for any discomfort. He let out a sigh with a small unwilling sound making it's way out of his throat. The blood rushed into his cheeks and his eyes snapped to yours to look at your reaction. "Sorry I didn't mean to..."

"Sorry for what? Enjoy to get your pain eased?" You gave him a comforting smile.

"Yeah." He mumbled. Relieved at your reaction he tried to let himself relax again and slow his heartbeat a bit.

You stroked and pressed over his calf and stretched his leg softly. Bending his knee and stretching the fascia. Every move of you made was tender and deliberate. Made with care.

Newt loved the feeling of your hands on his leg. It felt heavenly and he never wanted you to remove your hands from him again. This continued for minutes in silence. Only small breaths that escaped his mouth were heard in the room. When you hit a particular spot he let out a "ow."

"Sorry. In what way did this hurt?" You asked softly.

"Uh in my knee."

"Alright. Sorry."

"Didn't hurt much..." he trailed off as you put your soft hand onto his knee and caressed it with your thumb as if to soothe it. The warmth spread through his leg again. Now because of your hand He blinked and swallowed hastily. You didn't move your hand, just let it rest on him. His heartbeat increased slightly aa he took deep breaths. For some reason there were tears behind his eyes.

"Does it feel better now?" You looked up at him with soft eyes.

"Great." He breathed out. Still a bit out of it.

You removed your hand reluctantly and pulled the leg of his trousers down again. You gave his leg a little pet and stood up from the bed. He rolled himself up to a sitting position again and watched how you extinguished the flame of the stove.

"I need to sleep otherwise the alarm won't be able to wake me." He jawned.

You chuckled. "Now then let's get you snuggled up." You ruffled his hair playfully and he gave a small protest. You picked the lit candle from the table with the other hand. The two of you made your way outside and newt secured the lock on the door of the med-hut.

You strolled side by side over the field to the homestead in the light of the candle and your arms were brushing against one another to seek the others presence.

"You know, your accents gets a lot thicker when you're tired or drunk. Drunk is so bad sometimes I can't even understand you." You noted as you looked up at him. The soft light of the candle flickered over his soft features and enlighting his hair in a golden hue.

A smile appeared on his face though he was a bit embarrassed about your comment as he didn't meet your eye. "Really? I didn't know that. Sorry I guess. You'll have to remind me when I'm drunk so I'll speak more clearly."

"Oh you're just speaking nonsense anyways when you're drunk." You nudged him with your shoulder and he laughed.

"You really don't understand me sometimes?" He asked still perplexed about these news.

"Rarely. But it happens sometimes yes. If you're talking fast. Or as I said when you're tired or drunk."

"Oh that's- didn't know it was that noticeable. Can't really do anything about it. I'm not aware that I do it." He shrugged sheepishly. You could clearly hear his awareness of it now and how he tried to speak more clearly without a accent.

"I wouldn't want you to change it. I like it." You grinned.

He looked down to you stunned. He'd never thought someone would like that about him. And the way you said it so nonchalant perplexed him. "You like it?" His voice was slightly higher than normal.

"Yeah sure. It sounds...nice to listen to." You looked ahead.

His cheeks bore a taint of red again. "I er- thank you. I never thought of it like that." You liked his accent. His voice. You liked to listen to him. Newt felt a tingling sensasion in his belly.

He opened and held the homestead door open for you. You made your way inside and up the steps to your room. You had a own as the only girl and alby and newt insisted on it for your safety. You didn't always use it as you enjoyed sleeping outside with the others too.

Newt and alby had a room together next to you as the leader and second in command. So you stopped in front of your respektive doors. "Night newt. See you tommorow."

"Good night Y/N. Sleep well."

You smiled at eachother before entering your rooms. You had a smile on your face as you tucked yourself into bed and thought of newt doing the same on the other side of the wall. Newt layed down in his bed too with a grin on his face. Alby gave him a knowing look but didn't comment on it. His limp long forgotten and the pain eased for a moment as the warmth spread throught his form. For this evening he felt at home.

[cowboymcflurry]

Ocean Waves | Eddie Munson x You [Fluff]

Summary: You’ve had a long day. You’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed, so you retreat to your favorite spot by the ocean, where you find Eddie, that weird guy you have Spanish with, strumming his guitar.

word count: 1,5k

includes: Hawkins is now for some reason set by the sea, reader and eddie don’t really know each other yet, fluff, comfort, butterflies, no description of reader, no use of y/n, readers gender is not mentioned but eddie calls reader 'babygirl' at some point

------------------------------------------------------

It was a rough day. Everything was just too much, too irritating, too loud and too worrying and you ended up feeling numb, the only feeling left that of your scalp tingling nastily. You felt lonely, you couldn’t breathe properly and you felt like drowning in your own thoughts and feelings.

So you took your backpack off the floor of your room and shoved in a pack of your favorite snacks and a can of your favorite soda.

It was time for a little trip to your secret hiding spot.

When you got there ,the sun was just about to set. The noise of the ocean calmed your thoughts, the salty air letting you breathe again. Quickly you skipped towards your favorite spot, which was a huge piece of driftwood. With every step you felt lighter and lighter, until you suddenly came to a halt. The unpleasant tingling of your scalp returned, as you realized that your secret hiding spot had been invaded. Some long-haired weirdo sat on what had once probably been a tree trunk, strumming a guitar.

“Shit.” you mumbled. Why did everything have to go wrong today?

I have to somewhere else, you thought, when the guy’s head suddenly jerked up. He brought a hand up to his eyes, shielding them from the intense golden light that came from the sunset, squinting at you. Hey, wasn’t that Eddie Munson? That metalhead from Spanish class? Your eyebrows shot up when you saw him waving at you. Hesitantly you waved back.

Great, now I have to say hi, you thought, cursing yourself for coming here.

“Hey, don’t we have Spanish together?” Eddie asked, when you approached him.

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing out here? Guess I was not the only one who found this spot.” he laughed, taking a sip out of a can that you suspected to be beer.

“Uh, no. I come here sometimes.” you said, your hands firmly holding on to your backpacks straps.

Eddie looked at you, as if he were waiting for more words to come out of your mouth, but since there weren’t, he simply grinned at you, slapping the piece of driftwood he sat on.

“Feel free to join me. The view is amazing.” he said, stretching his arms.

“Oh no, that’s okay. I can go somewhere else.”

Eddie frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean? Wait a minute -” he gasped dramatically, “Could it be that you’re scared of Eddie Munson, the freak?”

You felt the corners of your lips twitching.

“No, it’s not that. I just… Um… I just wanted to be alone for a while.” you said, rubbing your neck. Eddie sat back, observing your face closely.

“Tell you what, you sit here with me for 10 minutes and watch that pretty sunset - then I’m gone and you have this beautiful space to yourself, how about that?”

Hesitantly you nodded. “Okay, sure.”

“So what’s up?” Eddie asked when you sat down beside him. His big brown eyes eyeing you curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“Well I can tell that something is… you know…” he said vaguely, making an explanatory gesture, causing you to chuckle softly.

“I’ve just had a shit day, that’s all.” you said, your eyes shifting back to the crashing golden waves in front of you. Eddie nodded, causing his curls to bop up and down.

“I see.”

For a while you two just sat there, taking in the rustling sound of the sea, the salty air and the comfortable silence around you. The dark orange disc, that was the sun, dropped further and further until it was eventually gone, as if the dark blue surface of the sea had swallowed it. You felt the wind on your face and for some reason you were glad that you weren’t alone, that Eddie sat right beside you. After a couple of more minutes he glanced at his wrist watch.

“Ten minutes are over I guess.” he said softly. As he got up, picking up his guitar, you intervened.

“You don’t have to go, you know?” you said, a bit too eagerly.

“I don’t?”

You shook your head, smiling shyly.

“Alright, then.” he said grinning, plopping back down on the piece of driftwood.

“Why are you here?” you asked after a while.

“Oh you know, I’ve just had a shit day.” he said, winking at you, causing you to chuckle softly. But then his expression changed, looking slightly more serious, as he turned back to look at the ocean.

“I would never openly admit but, sometimes, I feel a little bit… out of place. Lonely. And then I come here. I don’t know what it is about this place, but being alone in a wide open beautiful space like this seems to cure any depression I might have inside of me.” he chuckled.

“I feel the same way.” you said, studying Eddie’s side profile, his curly hair and the curve of his lips. If you were an artist, you would have liked to draw him. He was different than what you thought, but if you were being honest you never made much of an effort of getting to know him. He was one of those guys who - despite being weird and not like the others - seemed to be extremely self-confident and extroverted. And guys like that usually didn’t like hanging out with people like you. People who mostly kept to themselves, to their own weird and tangled mind. Or so you thought.

“Can I tell you something?” Eddie suddenly said, turning back to you. It was getting pretty dark but you could still see his dark eyes that seemed to be so full of childish wonder whilst also carrying a certain melancholy at the same time.

“What?”

“I’ve always wondered about you.” he said, looking from one of your eyes to the other.

“What do you mean?” you asked softly.

“Well, you’re that quiet kid that doesn’t really talk to any one. At first I thought you were arrogant but then I thought, hey, maybe it’s something else.”

The way he looked at you made your stomach turn. You felt your eyes burning and that awful feeling in your throat that felt like you were choking.

“Hey, it’s okay.” he said, wiping away a tear that had escaped your eye, with his thumb. But you couldn’t hold it in any longer. You felt all of the anxiety, all of the sadness and all those dark thoughts breaking lose.

“Hey, hey, hey it’s alright babygirl, come here.” Eddie whispered, pulling you close, softly wiping away the tears on your cheek. For a while you just let them flow out, muffled sobs breaking the silence around you every now and then. You felt Eddie’s hand softly graze your hair, making your scalp tingle, but this time in the most pleasant way possible.

After you calmed down you quickly turned away, wiping away the remaining tears with your sleeves, as if Eddie hadn’t just witnessed you breaking down, as if he hadn’t comforted you.

“I’m sorry.” you said, sniffling.

“What for?” Eddie laughed, reaching for your hand, giving it a light squeeze. His touch creating a fluttering feeling in your stomach.

“We barely know each other and it’s not fair of me, putting you in this situation.”

Eddie furrowed his brows. “Last time I checked I am responsible for how I react to my surroundings. So if I want to be there for that weird kid from Spanish class that I’ve always kinda liked, then let me.”

Slowly he reached out to your face, wiping away one last tear, before flashing a bright smile at you. For a couple of minutes you just looked at each other and for the first time in a very long time, you felt seen.

“Hey, I know what'll cheer you up.” he suddenly said, picking up his guitar, “I don’t know what kind of music you’re into - even though I hope it’s not that Madonna chick - but I’m sure you’ll like this.”

He started strumming, pulling a dorky face and you immediately recognized the song: ‘Fade to Black’ by Metallica. You felt your lips pulling into a grin as you watched him play, causing him to wink at you. Immediately you pulled out the can of soda you’d brought with you as well as the pack of snacks, opened both and placed them between the too of you. Eddie’s eyes widened, still strumming the guitar, and as he opened is mouth in anticipation you gently threw in a cracker, to which you both laughed out loud.

Maybe this day hadn’t been so bad after all. In the end it led you to this beach where you found Eddie. And Eddie finding you.

[julesthequirky]

The Choice: Chapter Four

All my work is purely aimed at those 18+ so minors kindly, DNI.

Summary: You find three of your favourite characters in your home. It shouldn’t be possible, but there they are. In the flesh. How the hell did they get there? And surely there’s a way to get them back? But as you get close to each one, the thought of sending them back proves difficult to comprehend.

Characters/Pairings: Fem!Reader, Dean, Beau and Soldier Boy/ Ben (and Eric the black cat.)

Warnings: Language, mentions of divorce, mentions of manipulation, typical Soldier Boy behaviour.

A/N: If you've noticed continuity errors regarding the divorce timeline, that is entirely my fault. I write these chapters on the fly, with the bare minimum on how the chapter will end, and the scope of the story. Excuses aside, I am making amends as I go. If you see any continuity errors, please let me know. Sometimes I just forget.

W/C: 1,726

Feeling lighter, thanks to Beau, you headed down after him. Checking your phone, you almost baulked at the time. It was half eleven at night. Where were they all going to sleep?

Two spare guest bedrooms were left free. One had been your ex-husband’s gaming room, and the other you’d wanted to turn into a nursery, but your ex had shot that idea down not long into the marriage. You’d talked about having kids, and he’d agreed. You’d show him cribs and strollers, and he’d smile and comment pleasantly. He fed into your dreams only to destroy them. You’d kept the gifts from family and friends, hiding them in boxes, unable to part with them no matter his insistence.

He had decided to sleep in that room during the separation. Out of fear of him finding the items, you hid them in your room, only to return them once he had left.

Now you had two guest rooms, both with double beds. You were sure none of them would share, and why would they? They were grown men, for God’s sake. That left the couch, which would not fit any of them on. You could barely fit on it. It was more of a loveseat and not a comfortable sleep. You knew from experience. It taxed the back if slept on for too long. This left you with the final option—your bed. And you hadn’t had a man in your bed since your ex a year and a half ago.

You scratched your chin lightly and walked with purpose towards the kitchen. You stopped in your tracks when you saw Ben. He sat at your table, a half-empty bottle of rosé clamped in his fist, and the rest was quickly following down his gullet. You knew for a fact it had been full the last time you’d checked your fridge.

After finishing the wine in mere seconds, he clunked the bottle down and belched loudly, then pronounced—

“You’ve got God awful taste in wine. A nun couldn’t get pissed offa that. Don’t suppose you’ve anything stronger?”

You blinked in astonishment.

“Uh, no. Only rosé.”

His lip curled, and he huffed but stayed seated. What could you do? You didn’t have the time to go to the store. He could wait.

“I’ll pick something up tomorrow.” You said pulling open a drawer.

He replied with a grunt as you were taking out paper straws. All equal in size, you cut one in half, then tucked them into your sweater pocket when you were finished. Behind you, a chair scraped back, and when you turned, Ben was rising to his feet, shield in arm.

“C’mon, I need to figure out where you’re all sleeping.”

“Oh,” His voice perked up. “Bet you’ve never slept with three blokes at the same time, eh?”

His eyes twinkled, and a smile slipped out. God, he was an asshole, but that smile…that smile made your stomach flutter.

“Lemme guess—one for each hole, right?” You said deadpan.

“You guessed it, sugar.”

You shook your head and patted his arm, striding past him to the living room. Dean was still inspecting the box, lips moving silently as he attempted to read the inscription. Working this whole thing out without his hunter contacts would take much longer. Beau had his fingers deep in Eric’s fur, who was purring loudly on the cowboy’s lap.

Ben sauntered in, smirk on his lips. He propped his shield down and perched against the couch’s arm, crossing his arms against his broad chest. Out of the three, he was the one that intimidated you the most.

You wiped your hands along your lounge bottoms. This needed sorting. It couldn’t wait any longer. You turned slightly, pulling out the straws, making sure the tops were of equal length, before presenting them to the boys.

“Pick one. This is gonna determine your sleeping arrangements.”

Dean looked up from the box, and Beau’s brows raised in wonderment. But they both reached forward, picking a straw. Each one was long, which left—

“So, what’s the short straw? The couch?” Ben inquired as he plucked the remaining straw from your hand.

“No.”

It was damn typical of him to get the shortest. It meant bunking with you. In your bed.

“The short straw is my bed. With me.”

“Ohoh.” Ben rubbed his hands together in glee. There was that twinkle in his eye again.

Oh, brother. You took the opportunity before something else came hurling out of his mouth.

“Lemme show Beau and Dean to their rooms, and tomorrow we’ll head into town and pick up some essentials.”

“Skin mags and lotion,” Flew out of Ben’s mouth. He nudged Dean beside him. “Gotta clean those pipes out, amirite?”

You sighed and scrubbed a hand down your face. Damn that man. Dean chuckled lightly but otherwise didn’t engage.

Before Ben could say anything more, you spoke up. “Why don’t I show you to your rooms.”

All three stood up. All right then. You picked up the box sets from the coffee table, quirking your eyebrows at Dean with a smile as you held the heavy set to your chest. You turned off the light and made your way upstairs. You showed Dean and Beau to their rooms, told them where the bathroom was and if they had any problems, told them which room was yours.

Then you retired to your room with Ben following.

“Betcha never slept with a Supe before, eh?” There was that teasing tone again.

He closed the door behind him and instantly started stripping. You looked away, heat rising in your neck and cheeks.

“Whatsa matter, sweetcheeks? Never seen a specimen as fine as myself before?” He chuckled lightly.

The box sets were getting heavy in your arms, so you dropped them onto the bed. Sighing, you knelt down and pulled out a suitcase from under the bed. In one of the pockets was a TSA-approved padlock.

Ben huffed a small laugh. “You think that piddly ass of a lock is gonna keep any of us out? I’m sure if we wanted, we could get past it. Real fuckin’ easy.”

You looked up. He only had his Supersuit pants on, top stuffed in his hands. He was in peak physical form. Perfect abs and pecs you wanted to run your hands over. Hard and toned, with thick biceps that could crush heads.

Damn.

You swallowed thickly.

He smirked.

“You wanna put your eyes back inside your head unless you’re lookin’ to ride the stallion?”

You closed your mouth and resumed your task—zipping and locking the suitcase.

“It’s a matter of principle. And respect. I wouldn’t delve into your belongings, so you won’t do it with mine.”

Ben snorted. “Believe what you wanna believe.”

“Well, I’m asking you not to.”

You pushed the suitcase back under the bed.

“Why you hiding them away anyway? Afraid we’ll watch our own shows?”

You rose to your feet. Now he had his Supe pants off and stood in his boxers.

“You know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat.”

He raised his eyebrows as you snatched your pyjamas off the bed and headed for the ensuite. No way were you comfortable with changing in front of him.

“I don’t bite. Not unless you want me to.”

He laughed as you closed the door on him. Sitting on the toilet, you rested your head in your hands. Oh, why did it have to be him? He was so toxic, so destructive, but dammit, he was so fucking hot. You’d thought about him in the worst ways, and they’d always give you the hardest orgasms.

But this wasn’t you and your imagination. He was really in there, almost naked, teasing and testing you. The sight of his body conjured all kinds of things and would be used when appropriate.

You changed, did your business and brushed your teeth before heading out. Ben was sitting in bed on your side. He had his hands behind his head, wearing a smirk.

“That’s my side…but I guess it doesn’t matter.”

You dropped your clothes in the laundry basket and slipped into bed beside him. Now, how were you going to do this? Form a pillow blockade? No. He’d most likely laugh at that, and you didn’t have the pillows for it.

You shuffled your pillow down a little bit and laid down, making sure the back of your head only just touched the mattress and pulled your hair up in a pony. You turned to see Ben giving you a strange look.

“What the fuck? You special or something?”

You frowned. “No. I’m just…particular.” You had the duvet up to your chin, lying dead straight.

“You look like Dracula in his fucking coffin.”

“We all have quirks.”

He quirked his eyebrows.

“That’s saying something.”

He pushed himself from sitting to lying down, causing you to sway as he did. He leant on one arm, looking your way.

“You look like you haven’t had a shit in a week. You nervous?”

“Little bit, yeah. You’re a bit of a wild card, and it’s been a while since a man has been in the same bed as me.”

“Like how long?”

“A year and a half.”

“Wow. You must really be gagging for it, huh?”

You huffed a small laugh.

“Contrary to popular opinion, no, actually.”

“Well, despite what you may think of me, I’m not gonna jump on you. Though if I knew I’d be picking the short straw, I’d have asked you to go to the store sooner. Dry rubbin’ fuckin’ hurts.”

Huh?

Ohhh.

You pulled a face and stared up at the ceiling. Ben laughed at your reaction and turned out the light, finally putting his head on the pillow.

You laid there, staring at the ceiling and minutes later, you heard his snores. They were loud, like a bulldozer. You stuck your head under your pillow desperately trying to sleep, but, God, were they so fucking loud. In the end, you gave up. You slipped out of bed and headed for the linen closet. You grabbed extra blankets before going down to the living room. You made yourself comfortable on the sofa. Eric meowed quietly, jumped up, and you kissed his soft head. He curled up, and you closed your eyes, waiting for sleep to take over.

Tags

@deans-spinster-witch, @curlycarley, @angelbabyyy99, @sassy-pelican

[sociopathicartist]

“vanilla?”

“No.”

“lavender?”

“No!”

“i give up.” Sans tossed his hands up in defeat, falling back onto the couch to sink into.

You rolled your eyes, lighting up a tea light candle you had and setting it on the coffee table. “You only guessed two times. It’s coconut.”

“how the hell was i supposed to guess coconut? we aren’t in hawaii, babe.” He complained, unamused by the scent of your candles.

There had been a power outage about an hour ago due to the storms outside. While you weren’t scared of the storms you did happen to be a bit scared of your entire house being pitch black, so you turned on the flashlight to your phone and started setting out tea light candles everywhere in your house. You saved them up since power outages happened a lot during the stormy summer weather.

As you had been lighting up the kitchen, your boyfriend suddenly appeared. You freaked out and almost whacked him across the skull with the lighter, which he backed up and tried to ease your freak out with a simple ‘ let’s not get things too heated, babe. ‘

Naturally, he was very amused by how you had managed to light up almost every main area in your house with little candles. He kept wandering around your house to see all the lights and would blow one or two out to annoy you, but stopped after that. Now he was just occupying himself with asking random questions while you were putting the candles out, like what their scent was.

“okay okay, you get to be alone with me for the whole week or get one dinner with ryan gosling.” Sans questioned, waving his hand up at the ceiling while he spoke.

You sighed as you placed two more candles on your TV stand. “You already know my answer. You, obviously. Even before dating you, I wasn't appealed much at the thought of dating a man.”

Sans snorted, a small twinge of blue coming up on his face. “awww, really? i guess you’re really into skeletons, you necrophile.”

“Human fetish.”

“maybe. me personally, i would choose ryan gosling.”

You turned around to walk over to him on the couch, setting the lighter down on the coffee table. “You’re a big liar and you know it. Now move or be moved.”

Sans chuckled and sat up, scooting a bit to the side as you wormed your way next to him on the couch. The layout didn’t work at first, and you both exchanged an awkward look before you moved to sit in between his legs, your back resting against his ribs. His arms rested over your chest, his mandible sitting on the top of your head. Comfortable.

“you know, i’m not critiquing your choices here, but you lit up the whole house when we won't be anywhere but the living room and bedroom,” Sans spoke to you, his voice lowered down to an attractively quiet tone which only assisted with how correct his words were.

You shook your head, your hands going to rest over his. Why did he have his mittens on right now? “Nuh-uh. Who said I was taking you up to my bedroom?”

Sans scoffed, but you could tell he was being facetious. “i was meaning to sleep, you perv.”

“Sure you were. And my candles my choices, pal. You showed up out of nowhere and choose to sit here and make fun of me for being scared of the dark.” You paused your complaints, leaning forward a bit to turn your head and look back at him. “Why did you come over here out of nowhere again?”

Sans took one of his hands off your chest, bringing it up to brush some hair out of your face while he spoke to you. “just thought you’d want the company. i know you don’t like the dark, and paps is sleeping anyway.”

You smiled and leaned your face into his hand, a bit glad he was thinking of you. There wasn’t a moment where he wasn’t, but it still made you happy nonetheless. “It was a very nice surprise. I’m glad you showed up to protect me from the hallway demons.”

There was an attempt from Sans to run his hand through your hair while he listened to you, but since he had his mittens on it was just slipping over the top of your head and making your hair all staticky. He found it a bit amusing to do even after you tried batting his hand away.

“you didn’t need to light the candles you know.” He suggested another solution, successfully nagging your attention.

You know him well enough for it to only take 3 seconds to realize what he was getting behind.

“i have something that glows.” He was holding back laughter, partially from his upcoming joke and partially because of your expression.

“Shaddap. You come over to my house and make disgusting jokes. How sick.” You moved your head away from his hand, trying to pat down the static he was causing.

Sans’ hand kept trying to rub on your hair, his mitten charged up with electric static now.

He snickered, both his hands cupping your face to make you look at him. “deez nuts.”

“Out of my house.” You let him hold onto your face, enjoying the little shenanigans he was up to.

He didn’t answer back with a witty pun or joke, instead just pulling you down to rest your head on his chest. “there there. it must be so hard having such a hilarious boyfriend.”

“No.” You wrapped your arms around him in an attempt to snuggle into his embrace.

It was hard to cuddle up to him sometimes because he was always shifting around or letting his hands roam on you until you had to call him out to stop so that you could both go to sleep. Unless he was sleeping or pretending to sleep, he seemed to have a difficult time staying in one place for too long. Sometimes though, you’d catch him after he had an exhausting day and you’d both just hold each other in comfortable silence, not moving an inch or saying a word for hours. Those were some of your favorite days.

“Sans?” You called out his name after a few minutes of quiet.

“yeah, babe?” He answered immediately, one of his hands gently rubbing up and down your back while the other petted your hair.

You thought for a few moments about your question. “How did you first know when you liked me?”

Sans inhaled deeply. He loved asking and answering these silly little romance questions with you, but sometimes it was difficult to find the correct words for an answer.

“i just knew. i looked over to you and the realization hit me. there were no second thoughts or doubts about it.”

You stared at the wall for a few moments, your thumb rubbing small circles on the back of his vertebrae just above the hood on his jacket. Your candles were starting to burn out. You needed to light up new ones in a bit.

You kept your voice quiet to match his, acting as if speaking too loud would break the moment. “Do you remember when it was?”

“oh, yeah.” His smile tugged up a bit on the ends, his genuine smile showing through at the thought of the memory. “you want me to tell you about it so that i can gush over you?”

“Yes, please.”

“okay, uhhh,” He paused before recapping his memory with you. “you were at my house. in my room to be more specific. i was showing you through one of my video games since you hadn’t played it before, but i was kinda off that day.”

It was weird to him to think about because he didn’t remember why he wasn’t feeling well that day, or what video game he was showing you. He just remembered you.

“you somehow noticed, and you asked me what was up. whenever i told you nothing was up except for the ceiling, you told me to stop lying. you said you could tell by the way my voice sounded, and how my smile drooped down just a tad. i don’t even remember if i ended up answering you, but i know i was quiet for a while. nobody had ever uh… ever seen me like that before.”

You listened to him speak. His hands had stopped moving around on you entirely, just resting on the small of your back comfortably. “Yeah?”

“yeah. i don’t know why it was like that, but it was like i was dragged out of the little reality in my head where i was noticed by everyone but not noticed enough to be cared about like that. and the worry in your voice. you just looked like a different person in that moment and from then on. it was like i saw you clearly after looking through fogged glass.”

Sans always had a really good use of his words whenever he chose to use them instead of being silly. This was one of those moments where you were fully convinced that you could listen to him talk for hours.

“I love you.”

“i love you too.”

You weren’t sure if the rush of being able to tell him that you loved him and having him respond with such little hesitation would ever go away. Sans wasn’t sure if he’d ever get used to it either.

All your candles had begun to burn out since they were just little tea lights, leaving you and Sans to succumb to a slow progression of darkness.

His voice broke the silence first, as it usually did. He always had lots of things to say to you. “all your candles are burning out, babe. you wanna light up some more? the power probably won't come back on for the rest of the night.”

The power probably wouldn’t come back on for a while, he was right. “Why don’t we just go to bed? It seems like a waste to light everything again when it’s so late at night, and I know you’re tired.”

“up to bed?” His voice took back a joking tone, and you braced yourself for the devious intentions behind his words. “no need for a candle, i know something that glows, hehe.”

“Sans… Don’t say it. It doesn’t get funnier the more that you say it.”

“deez nuts in your face.”

thanks for reading:3 it’s been storming really bad down where i live, so i wanted to write a little drabble for it. uploads might be a bit slow since finals during school r catching up to me, sorry! have a lovely night:)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for telling my partner they smell bad and that I won’t have sex with them?

😅 to identify this later. Also, this is gonna feature talk about pubic hygiene and sex

Okay so, to set the stage, both me (M) and my partner (NB) are in our mid twenties with a small age gap. Both of us have had partners before but I think that I may have a lot more sexual experience than them

We met at work three years ago and became best friends, only recently falling in love and starting a relationship. I’d do anything for my partner and I love them to death. I’ve been treated really badly by previous partners so it was very nice to start dating someone who is as kind and considerate as my current partner

Unfortunately, the two of us have different ideas of hygiene down there 👇. I’m transgender, I haven’t had bottom surgery, and I have a vagina. I keep it clean and I keep my bush trimmed because I’ve discovered that hair really holds in unwanted smells. Honestly, I keep my downstairs ready to rumble at any time (a product of being treated terribly by exes and having an outrageously low libido)

My partner is… the exact opposite

They’re AMAB and have a penis. They don’t shave down there and have told me they only wash down there once a week or whenever they know they’re gonna be spending a lot of time with me. It doesn’t help that they naturally sweat a lot. I know they can’t control the sweat, but I’ve been with enough AMAB people to know how hygiene down there is supposed to work

Recently, we took a huge step in our relationship and had sex for the first time with each other, which is how I know most of the info above. They took off their clothes and what I first thought was a natural musk quickly became unpleasant. I hesitated and they asked if I wanted to stop what we were doing. I said no, but that I didn’t think I was ready for oral or penetration. I really didn’t want them to feel bad about the smell, nor did I want to ruin the moment, so we continued. Honestly, we still had a good experience and I’m excited to do it again with them.

Afterwards, they checked in on me and asked if they’d crossed any of my boundaries, referencing back to my hesitation and switch up. I didn’t want to lie to them, but I also didn’t want to hurt their feelings, so I said that I was fine while making the 😬 face, hoping to make the situation lighter and to make them laugh. They asked me if it was because of the smell, I nodded smally, and they started laughing while covering their face, mentioning how they’d specifically washed beforehand

I laughed with them and made self deprecating jokes about myself and how I could’ve performed better (also some searching for the clit jokes because they, uh, couldn’t find it like four different times and had to be instructed on what to do with it 😭), and we ended the night on a light note, but it’s been eating me up inside that I’ve made them insecure. All this happened last night and we haven’t talked yet. I don’t think they’ll bring it up, but I don’t want this to ruin our sexual relationship. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone who treats me so well that I’ve also had so much fun with

I’d completely understand if my instincts are right and that I’m the asshole for telling them that they smelled, but my friends say that I’m fine. So, tumblr, Aita?

TL;DR, my partner and I do the horizontal tango together, but I have to stop and change it up because of how they smell down there. Aita for telling them about it afterwards?

What are these acronyms?

[daytaker]

hii hellooo, may i request brothers with a clown core mc? their outfits most often being very colorful but their personality being the opposite? like somewhat cold and very blunt, not talking much and if talking then it’s about something mildly disturbing like murder investigations or an odd fascination with deadly diseases stuff like that

sorry that it’s extremely specific and thank you regardless _(┐「ε:)_

Clown Anon MCs - [ Clowncore MC | Death-Fixated Science Geek MC | LeVeyan Satanist MC ]

When you first arrived, no one was sure what to think. They looked you over. Your pink hair, your cyan shorts. A yellow T-shirt and rainbow suspenders. Gaudy makeup and adorable pink tennis shoes. Beaded bracelets and necklaces and colorful tights.

And a box of smokes in your back pocket.

"Welcome to the House of Lamentation," Lucifer says, gesturing grandly at the stately mansion ahead of you.

You say nothing. Instead, you pull out a cigarette and a lighter. Taking a drag, you lazily gaze at the house, then back at your host, who looks disgusted.

"Make sure you only do that outside," he says, nodding to the box of cigarettes in your hand.

You blow a puff of smoke in his face and start walking to the door, completely ignoring the sounds of Lucifer struggling to contain his rage.

"Why's it called that?" you finally ask as you stop at the front doors. "'House of Lamentation'?"

Lucifer, having composed himself by now, steps up beside you. "This is a replica of a house from the human world," he explains. "In it, an entire family was murdered; the parents, the servant, and six of their seven sons. The seventh--"

"Ohhh. This is the Sutton house," you say, nodding.

"Excuse me?"

"The Sutton house. Massachusetts, 1923. Elijah Sutton, oldest of seven sons, runs into the local tavern screaming that his servant killed the whole family and himself. Most folks today think it was Elijah who really did it. I know I do."

You take one more drag from your cigarette, then drop it on the ground and put it out with the heel of your shoe.

"So this is their house, huh? Sick."

---

It's breakfast on your second day in the Devildom. You took extra time to apply your godawful makeup this morning, and you're sure it shows, because the brothers keep glancing at you as if they're not quite sure what they should say.

"You talk to them, Mammon," mumbles Satan. "You're their babysitter."

"Ah... ahem." Mammon casts a glare at his brother, then looks at you. "So, uh... Human." You stare at him with a dead-eyed expression that seems to unnerve him even more. "...We're goin' to RAD today, and there's a couple a things you should know." You continue staring.

Mammon looks to his brothers for help, but they all avoid eye contact. "Uhhh... Just... try not to get eaten, 'kay? Lucifer'll be pissed if you die on my watch."

"Do demons eat people?" you ask. "Like, raw?"

"Sometimes! So don't mess around with 'em, got it?"

"That's gotta be messy as fuck."

"It is!"

"You got any photos?"

"....Eh?"

---

"So I get that you're the seven deadly sins," you say to Satan, sprawled out in an armchair in the library, "but like... is that all you guys got here?"

Satan, who had been minding his own business and innocently reading a book of curses, looks irritated. "Is that all of what?"

"I dunno. Bad shit shaped like people." You shrug. "Like, you got the Four Horsemen or somethin'?"

"Of course not," Satan snaps. "That would be ridiculous."

You shrug. "Embodiment of plague? Too ridiculous to believe. Embodiment of wrath? Well, obviously that's a thing."

---

"You have to make pacts with Lucifer and his brothers," Belphie urges you through the door. You stare at him, then take a drag from your cigarette. As long as Lucifer is occupied in the music room with that weird record, you're going to break every rule in this damn house.

"How am I supposed to do that? Am I gonna split up my soul Horcrux style? Give everybody a slice?"

Belphie stares at you for a few seconds. You don't realize how badly he wishes he could kill you in this moment. "Are you going to help me or not?"

You shrug. "What do I get out of it?"

He blinks at you in utter bewilderment. "You... make me happy?"

You stare at him. He stares at you. You stare at him. He continues to stare at you.

You head back down the stairs.

[mustainegf]

Are we gunna get a drunk ‘n’ love pt 3 😭 I’m dying.

YESSS HI HERE IT IS SORRYYY!!!!

𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊 ‘𝐍’ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ¹⁹⁸⁵ — 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐

I inhaled deeply and said, "Actually, there is something. It's about last night."

He raised his eyebrow and gestured for me to continue. "Okay, what is it?"

I fidgeted with my hands, trying to find the right words. "Well, you were really drunk, and, um. after you threw up, I helped you into bed, and then. something happened."

James' face screwed up, he scowled, then leaned really close to what I deemed my personal space. "What do you mean? Did I do something stupid?"

A lump seemed to develop in my throat, and my voice shook. "You kissed me, James."

He gazed at me as though he was confused, a hint of surprise even. "I- I kissed you?"

I nodded quickly as my cheeks flared red. "Yeah. You did. And then you passed out."

His eyes dropped in embarrassment. "I'm really sorry. I- I didn't mean to-"

I broke in quickly, my own voice still shaking. "It's all right. I mean, it was a shock, but. I didn't mind."

He looked up at me, his face a mix of puzzlement and something I couldn't define. "What’s that supposed to mean?"

I shook my head, trying to catch my breath. "It was. nice. I just wasn't sure if you remembered, or if it.. um, meant anything to you."

Then we just sat there for a minute, the tension thick. He finally spoke, his soft voice barely above a whisper. "I really don't remember much, but. if I kissed you, it wasn't just 'cause I was drunk."

My heart skipped a beat, and I could hardly believe my ears.

We stared at each other, the words suspended in the air. I whispered his name, "James."

His whisper echoed mine, "I know."

Ever so slowly, he reached a hand out to cup my cheek, his shaking the least bit. I leaned into him, mine eyes fluttering shut. Then, with such tenderness that it hurt my heart, he pressed his lips to mine, much more passionately now.

Warmth flooded me, my hands somehow finding their way to his shoulders as I kissed him back, savoring every second.

Finally, when we broke apart, our foreheads leaned on each other, panting and staring. The suspense that had really been hanging over us seemed to melt away just like that, replaced by something new.

Softly, James smiled, his thumb pressing against my cheek. "I've wanted to do that for a long time," he whispered in. “I fell for you the second we met.”

I smiled back, and my heart felt lighter than I could remember. "Me too."

I felt bravery and excitement within. I playfully giggled, settling into James's lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He chuckled quietly, his hands settling on my waist to cradle me in close.

We leaned into another kiss, our lips meeting slowly as our faces were held gently away from the touch of each other's hands.

His hands slid up to cup my face, his thumbs brushing against my cheeks as we lost ourselves in the moment.

I couldn’t forget the taste of him, it was surprisingly sweet, like brown sugar, and a slight tinge of the bitterness of cigarettes.

Abruptly, we were brought back to reality by a voice from the doorway. "Holy shit," someone chuckled.

We broke apart, turning around to find Lars standing there, shock and amusement written across his face. "Am I interrupting something?" he asked, the wide grin growing across his face.

I feel my face burning, and in a rush to climb off James's lap, he holds me there firmly but gently, preventing me from going just yet. James laughed, obviously as flustered as I was. "Uh, hey man." He chuckled.

“It’s not what it looks like…” I mumbled, shoving my face into James shoulder to hide the embarrassment.

Lars raised an eyebrow, only his grin growing wider. "Really? Because it looks exactly like what it looks like."

James looked just as relieved as I was and finally allowed me to slide off his lap, though he kept his arm around my waist. "Okay, fine. Maybe it is what it looks like."

Lars chuckled again, shaking his head. "Well, it's about time. I’m losing count of how many times you get hard around her."

I looked at James, surprised by Lars's comment, and James just shrugged, looking a little sheepish. "Fuck off dude. Whatever, I’m not subtle."

"Nope," Lars said, still smiling. "Not at all."

I was mortified, but also well, relieved. So I might as well just go with it. I leaned into James's side, smiling at Lars.

Lars nodded, giving us the thumbs up. "Yeah yeah, good for you guys I guess. Just, you know, try and keep it PG."

James and I laughed, the tension broken. "We'll try," James promised, still holding me close.

As Lars left the room, still chuckling to himself, I looked up at James, my heart so full. "So, what now?" I asked softly.

Now you get back over here and we’ll start where we left off." He smiled, pushing the strand of hair back from my face.

[riewritten]

𝐎𝐈𝐋 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒 · CHAPTER THREE · AO3

˚ · .─ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: YOU, a college student in Frankfurt, start receiving emails that embarked the dim of normalcy you worked so hard to build on your own; starting from a message claiming you as the light amidst the hell of Kinderheim, who came just in time to bring a paradise of doomsday and grime, something that pleased the monster inside him. Initially, you thought of reporting the email as spam until another ding came: the monster, so pleased and full, is aiming to return the favor—something to flesh out the paradise you had granted him back at Kinderheim.

˚ · .─ 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎: Johan Liebert/Fem!reader | 3.9k words

˚ · .─ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: explicit language, canon-typical violence, stalking, manipulation, obsessive tendencies, paranoia, abduction, threats of sexual assault, among many things that might arise.

The fine young blonde who'd help you erase your identity—as Anna had claimed—was formerly affiliated with the state security council. His stay was recent, short, and even Anna didn’t know the scope of his job, but this very background gave him the expertise and network to agent people who need to change identities in pursuit of securing their lives.

Anna gave you the basic physical description needed to recognize him, the meet-up location, and a warning: don't bring too much, don't wear too much—the last thing you want to happen is attract attention when your main mission is to vanish.

The warning was supposed to be intimidating, but the rustling leaves and bustling cars of evening Frankfurt brought you solace somehow. Indeed, you might be disappearing for everyone who had known you, but the little things you could still see either way would be as persistent as your existence.

Somewhere, somehow, despite this being your first time, you're so used to doing it. 

The ripped paper which contains Anna's pretty handwriting of the meet up place slipped from your fingers. You rush to it, albeit in a fluster. It is until a man catches it with his hand that you stop.

You catch up to him and profusely apologize, “My hands seem a bit cold. I didn't expect the weather today. Apologies.”

He hums, gently so, and hands you the piece of paper, “At least I caught it.”

Just as if the cold evening air couldn't get any cooler, his voice did its wonders. And you also perk up upon realizing he looks exactly like… “Anna?”

But no, it's not Anna. His hair is short, parted in the middle, and it's a much lighter shade of blonde. His eyes are bluer and his skin is quite paler.

This is the exact same description Anna had given you. It didn't take long for him to realize it, too, “So you're the one I'll be spending the evening with, aren't you?” 

The next thing you feel is a very uncanny familiarity that you quickly brush off because, well, of course he'd look familiar because he almost bears the same face as Anna.

“She didn't tell me I was about to meet a relative,” you shake his hand and tell him your name. “And you are…?”

“Pleasure to meet you,” he smiles, and yet he doesn't bother giving you his name.

His job is niche, and as much as you’d like to talk and know more about his line of work, this man seems to prefer anonymity. You are yet to adjust to that, hence you let him lead the way first. Futilely, you're not able to help yourself as you walk together towards a nearby restaurant. “What shall I call you, mister…?”

“I'm someone who must remain distant from you,” he responds, looking your way, wondering if you immediately get his cryptic point. But you don't—not at all—so he instead prompts, “Want a clue?”

“Uh… yes,” you raise a brow, “make it make sense for me.”

“The things we're about to do in pursuit of your goal doesn't make any sense in the eyes of a normal person either.” Well, he's right. “Pray tell, why were you referred to me?”

“I'm running away from someone. Anna said you could help me erase my identity and start anew.”

He chuckles lightly, “Yes, that's the most common reason I get.”

And the walk goes tormentingly silent again. You want to ask more, but for some reason your brain couldn't articulate it. Why the lurking uncomfortability? Is it because of how poised and graceful he walks? Of how chivalrous he seems when he ushers you to your seat and arranges the meal after the waiter placed it on your table? Or is it because he resembles Anna so much? It's unlikely for you to act like a moth too entranced with the light, unbeknownst how it could potentially burn your wings into a crisp. But in your defense, it's also rare to encounter a person as enigmatic as him.

“A longer look and I might not be able to hold my fluster,” he quips without dropping his food nor looking up at you. You're not convinced he's actually starting to get flustered. The comment is surely intended to fluster you instead.

“I'm sorry,” you avert your gaze away, “but you see, I think I might need to know more about you so I could trust you enough with what we're about to do. E-even the simple name telling would be fine for me.”

“But exchanging names is the first step to develop attachments and mark existence. Given my job to eradicate every trace of you in this world, wouldn't it be counterproductive of us to get to know each other?” Why is his way of talking a bit too uncanny? You almost blurt out. When minutes pass and the befuddled look on your face still doesn’t subside, he offers a proposition. “Let's see… to make things easier, do you perhaps have a name you quite disdain?

“I quite disdain…?”

“Call me by a name you quite disdain in order to keep your distance,” he concurs. “I’m sure you’ll benefit from this, too.”

Something that will benefit you. Something that will benefit you. Something that will benefit you—a ding of light clicked in your brain. You sigh defeatedly and say, “Johan. I'd like to call you Johan.”

His reaction to that, albeit subtle, ran shivers down your spine. The unreadability of his smile scares you. As if Johan sensed it, he gulps the urge to chuckle by nodding and asking, “Is that a name you're most uncomfortable to use?”

“Very much so.”

“How strange. Why, when Johan is such a wonderful name?”

Despite knowing the reason very well, you refuse to answer. See, if you’re fearing the name Johan because of your sinister childhood friend, then what if you take this first step? Disassociate this name away from the Kinderheim boy. Project it to a perfect stranger. Maybe, by the end of your time with this agent, you’re already over from fearing the measly name.

Indeed, that is something that would benefit you above anything else.

The rest of the night went with Johan briefing you about certain protocols when meeting him, all the while expertly dodging your questions about him. Johan might have a point why he prefers not to expound about his identity, but perhaps, even moths do not understand the danger of flames waiting upon their curious and entranced heads until they finally have it, and it just so happens that you're no different from them. And so you expertly track the conversation into asking something personal about Johan.

It is until he chuckled defeatedly did you halt, “I understand, I understand. At least I'm confident you wouldn't be easily swayed by anyone once you settle in a new place with a new identity. But didn't Anna tell you enough about me? I'm certain I told her to orient you before meeting me tonight.”

“She didn't tell me that much, otherwise I wouldn't be this curious.”

“You see, how much must you know about a person enough to trust them?”

“Mr. Johan, I just want to make sure you're not here to murder me along the way.”

Johan seems amused at the remark, to say the least, “Perhaps you should just arm yourself while you're with me then. Who knows when I'd pull my shenanigans at you.”

“Oh well, I suppose you watch me run my heart off later as soon as we finish eating.”

“Why not now? You can’t tell how much mercy I could share tonight.” 

If not for Anna's humor, you would certainly not be chuckling right now. “One of your mercy included bringing me to a place like this. The food you've bought for me melts in my mouth quite nicely. If I start running only to be caught, at least I'll die a happy girl.”

“You can say that's one of my ways to entice my clients. Savor my mercy by all means.”

You roll your eyes with a smile. Needless to say that the uncomfortability subsided quite a bit. At least you were able to know that Mr. Johan, whoever he might be, is someone who holds the same vibe as your friends. Perhaps the journey with him would be a little less lonely.

A week after, Johan laid out five steps you have to do alongside him.

Target a place to settle down.

An unpopulated town would be the best choice. They usually have landlords who don't require much legal documents before accepting tenants. Johan will arrange the needed documents for your new identity, but that doesn't mean you'll flaunt it wherever. You must only show them when absolutely necessary.

Accumulate a huge sum of money.

Johan doesn’t care how and how much. All you have to do is ensure that it will suffice your expenses while adjusting to your new place.

“But honestly, you don’t need to worry about that too much.”

“Why?”

Johan shrugs, “You could say a special friend wants you to be at ease, hence they took care of it in your stead.”

Anna!

You beam upon realization. It's been a while since you've seen Anna. You rarely even go back to your apartment complex. You're starting to be absent oftenly at school, too. “Does that mean—” you couldn’t help but be excited at the premise, “even if I managed to leave everyone who knew of my identity, Anna would be an exception? Oh, how lovely that'd be.”

Johan, as usual, does not give an answer. Perhaps it’s because your question is quite a given already, but deep inside you—a voice begging to be heard but dismissed for reasons unknown—there’s something in Johan’s reaction that needs to be pointed out. His features twitch; he looks like he’s about to laugh, sardonically so, even though his face barely moved at all. “Do you like Anna that much?”

“I do. I wouldn’t have found myself if not for her.”

“Why?”

“We're similar in so many ways. I'm not the type of person who could easily bond with others, but Anna made it seem so easy. You could call us a match-made in heaven, maybe?”

“And you wouldn't mind ceasing your existence if you get to be with her nonetheless?”

“Yes.”

There, you see Johan's face gleam. It is perhaps akin to satisfaction. In one glimpse you'd think his expression is similar to Anna's when she laid down beside you that night.

“You two must be siblings if not twins,” you blurt out, with which you immediately regretted. Shit, Johan doesn't like being asked personal questions!

Surprisingly, he shakes his head instead of dismissing you, “It's more complicated than that, but yes, that could be perhaps the nearest term to use.”

You nod, smiling, already satisfied that Johan entertained your question with a smile lighter than his usual blank one. You wonder if you had said something that pleased him so much, or maybe he just appreciates your wholesome relationship with Anna.

Step one and two were easily accomplished within two months. Hence, the succeeding steps pushed through.

Banish all your digital footprints.

Erase your email. Bother no more with the Monster spamming you there. You let out a chuckle. All the terror these emails have caused could finally be a memory to look back to. 

Write letters to the people who could potentially look for you if you're gone for too long.

Every loved one who would potentially go beyond measures to find you (and lose their heads while doing so) is a threat that must be tamed. The most important thing when you want to disappear without a trace is to minimize people's urges to search for you. The letter must include telling them that you want to do this, that this is something you decided for yourself, and that even if you're gone, you wouldn't be in any sort of danger.

This step finally resurfaced the reluctance of it all, albeit it's still not strong enough to cancel the whole plan. You don't want to be alone. The reluctance is coming from the irony of it all. Anna was right, you've been trying so hard to earn people's affection so you could stay with them, but the very reason for that is your attachment.

“Then leave them before they do it first. That way it would hurt less,” Johan replies.

His remark made you remember something about your childhood friend before the Kinderheim flames. Well, almost everything that's happening in your day could be a trigger to dream about him. 

Back in childhood, as much as you were glad that your little friend wouldn't be able to leave you so easily because of someone he mustn't forget, you started getting anxious by the fact that once Johan is together again with that person, he'd drop you alone all over again. You knew deep inside that once he granted your wish, he'll leave the sanctuary to be with the person he mustn't forget. Letting him do whatever he wanted was perhaps your own way to detach yourself—to lose the tiny bit of hope that you'll be friends forever.

This recollection intensified your guilt. Had Grimmer and Lunge known this side of you, they'd certainly regret trying to help you. You are an irredeemable monster, a voice inside you repeatedly mutters.

“You're right,” you smile defeatedly. “It's always been that way for me.”

The car halts to the apartment complex you started renting as a safety measure whenever you're out with Johan. That way, Johan coming across people like Grimmer, Lunge, and Frieda could be avoidable. “See you tomorrow, then.”

You heard him right and yet you're too conflicted to get off the car, fidgety and all, because of the unkind voices lurking inside your head. They are extra louder today.

“Would you—” you stammer, “would you like to have dinner upstairs before you go?”

You feel Johan's driver, Roberto, give you a quick glance as though your offer surprised him. He then gazes at the younger blonde, and eventually nods as if he understood him immediately.

“I know how clear you are with setting personal boundaries. I-I just feel bad for making you do this much as my agent,” you lie. “Don't worry. I'm not gonna ask anything personal either. I'll cook you a simple dinner and that's it.”

Johan, much to your surprise, gets off the car, opens the door by your side, and offers his hand with a smile. Now that you think of it, this is the first time you'll be feeling this agent's hand—that's how distant you two were for months of confiding in each other. It is until you touch him for real that you realize how familiar this feeling is. This certainly happened before, the sentence ringed in your head, even if this is the first time you've had his hand on yours. 

The dinner was silent. Johan knew exactly what you needed. A squint and everything would've felt quite intimate. Johan — as though showing you that he's human and not some ethereal being eating with you — picks up the table napkin from his lap and dabs it to the corner of his lips, yet it's still so poised, so refined, that you wonder if this dinner is actually with an agent and not a blind date Anna has set up for you.

It paved the way to imagine how things would've been if you knew his real name, and you two met under circumstances where you don't have to erase your identity.

“...my name.”

Your vision was blurry with tears, heart in deep pain you could've just chosen death, but Johan's cryptic begging was what kept you awake.

He mutters as though you're the only one who could grant what he wants. “My…my n-name…”

Not that he's wrong. Only the two of you are inside the room at this moment. Daddy said Johan's quiz today would need someone outside Kinderheim, and who else would be most enthusiastic for the job if not you?

The quiz, as how you see it, is just you and Johan being left alone in a room. There's a huge mirror—Daddy said that you shouldn't worry because the mirror is actually a window where they could watch you. You were excited at first. You thought he and his workmates would just watch you play legos together.

Only now did you realize how awful these quizzes actually were. This is the first time you'd seen him wearing a mere t-shirt, and you feel utterly sick in the stomach seeing so many bruises on his arm—most of which are injection shots. This is the reason why Johan always looks like he had just woken up—so fragile, lethargic, but still smiling whenever you two hang out together. 

“What are you talking about, Johan?”

“My name,” Johan, finally sounding like someone his age—a literal child who lived not beyond ten—mutters weakly, defenseless, and about to faint. “Call me by my name.”

Out of desperation, you follow, “Johan! Stay with me, Johan!”

Why is Johan so weak and begging? Why does he have a fresh injection wound on his arm?

This particular memory was blurred by your tears, with loud crying blocking your hearing, but it felt so raw, so genuine, so painful not for yourself, but for Johan, for everything he had gone through.

How tragic it is, indeed, for Johan was more talkative during this moment. Despite his weakened state, he was using all his energy left to talk to you—as if a toddler yapping to its guardian about how awful his days went, or perhaps a best friend ranting about a very unfortunate incident. But you couldn't remember! Of all things, why would this memory be the blurriest of them all?

“Please,” he breathes, already lying down. “Please call me by my name.”

“Johan,” you cried. “Your name is Johan!”

“My name…” your little friend's eyes are now empty, as if he's reliving a memory only he knows. You're not even sure if he could still see you, let alone if he knows where he is. “Call me by my name.”

“Johan.”

“My name—”

“Johan!”

Much to your horror, the last words uttered by the little boy before closing his eyes was, “Chomp, chomp, munch, munch, gobble, gobble, gulp.”

“Johan!” you scream.

And that was the needed signal for Daddy and his men to enter. They were smiling at you in gratitude while you looked at them in horror. 

“He said a lot of things today. That's the most talkative Johan we had encountered. Good job.” Daddy's workmate pats your head.

They attempt to carry his unconscious figure, but you stubbornly swat them away to protect him. When their patience ran dry, they grabbed you away, muttering apologies because even though you really did well, Johan needs to go back.

They spoke as if this would be the last time you'd see him.

“No! Give Johan back to me!” you scream. “Get away from him!”

You were thrashing all over the place, albeit futilely, and you felt a needle being injected to you not long after.

The rest of the dream was just black. You could hear your Daddy talking to you, but for some reason your brain couldn't grasp it visually.

“Would you like to know what Johan's quiz was about?”

“Johan… give him back to me…”

“It's you. You were the quiz.”

“Johan…”

“The only reason you were introduced to him was for this quiz.”

“H-huh…?”

“Johan is such an interesting child. They were wondering if there could ever be a way for him to lay himself bare, but Kinderheim kids are not allowed to befriend each other, so I suggested you instead.”

“Why…?”

“Because you two are both special,” Daddy answers, “but how sad. Now that the quiz is finished, you'll never see him again.”

“N-no, please don't do this…”

“You still want to see him, no?”

“Give Johan back to me.”

“I'm sure Johan feels the same. After all, the quiz wouldn't have been successful if Johan didn't feel extreme attachment towards you,” Daddy solemnly said. “The plan was to make him so emotionally vulnerable to a subject, then abruptly cut it off. In other words, you two wouldn't see each other again.”

“No. Don't do that to him.”

“Frustrating, isn't it?” Daddy sounds a little sardonic this time. “It makes you want to punish them, no?”

You sob.

“You poor thing. You want to see Johan again, don't you?”

You nod.

“I could help,” he suddenly sounds eerily positive. “See, you told me before that Johan wants you to see fireworks up close…”

You nod.

“Could you tell me more about it?”

Surprisingly, as soon as you open your eyes, the blonde agent is looming above you. You're lying down on the couch; he's seated in front of you. With sheer guilt, you ask, “Did I sleep for too long?” Hell, you don't even remember sleeping after dinner. You should've let him leave first before slacking off.

“You don't feel well, so I ushered you to the couch to sleep then washed the dishes,” he blankly replies, neither smiling nor scorning. 

“I'm sorry. The previous days have been quite tiring for me.”

Silence envelops the room, tormentingly so. Johan looked grim as he sat there—it's as if you had said something in your sleep that bothered him.

“Are you okay?”

“Do you remember now?”

Huh? “Remember what?”

Johan does not say more. And that made you remember something.

“I don't think I could call you Johan anymore.”

If the agent was curious, he shows no sign of it. “Why?”

“It's…uh…not really a name I disdain.”

“Oh? Then what is it?”

“I prefer not to tell.”

“What is Johan to you?”

This is the first time this agent sounds so pressing, so curious, one squint and you'd think he knows the whole history between you and Johan, which would be weird because not even Anna knows the whole story.

“You were never this curious,” you nervously laugh, “I thought we had established about personal inquiries.”

The tormenting silence pushed through for five minutes or so, with which he eventually stood up and thanked you for the lovely dinner. The agent looks grim this time around for reasons you couldn't decipher. Hence you try to ask when you still have a chance. “Please. Tell me your name.”

“My name…” the blonde agent whispers, albeit to himself. You couldn't see his face, but you definitely saw the wind beautifully sweeping his wavy hair. It's as though it's meant to accentuate the forlorn in his voice—which again, you couldn't seem to know why. Suddenly, he asks, “The final step we have, do you remember?”

Oh, you do.

Give farewell letters to those who need it. Schedule a heart-to-heart talk to those who wouldn't take no for an answer.

This is the only step this agent refused to involve himself with, but he assured you that come what may, he’s just someplace watching idle. If things go dire, he’d personally come to you. 

“What about it?”

“Finish all of it tomorrow.”

Perhaps he sensed you're procrastinating on it, hence you mutter an apology, “Don't worry, I'll get back to it soon. It's the hardest step, to be honest.”

“No, it has to be tomorrow.”

“Why…?”

Finally, the agent turns his head to you, this time with a smile. “It has to be tomorrow, so I could reward you by telling my name.”

What a peculiar behavioral activation there is, but oh wasn't that an effective one.

<<< PREV CHAPTER • NEXT CHAPTER >>>

🏷️ @bianca4evers @lyneyenthusiast @suntizme @hyejohann @onasvigo @hannn-iee @bisexualgirlie @eurydiceofterabithia @hopingggforthebest

i am yet to edit this whole thing. i feel quite sorry for not updating, so i decided to just publish a barely-proofread chapter (and unfinished, tbh, if we were to base on my story plan). here's a looming johan to compensate. 

[justmeinadaze]

Finally/Beautiful Stranger (Steddie X You)

A/N: Part of this AU, you don't have to have read the others to understand but it helps!

Also, please feel free to donate or buy me a coffee. Anything helps but of course you don't have to. I will still love you :)

Warnings: Former Addicts Steddie X Fem Y/N, SMUT, slight spanking, dirty talk, very light DOM dynamics touched on, mentions of lose of virginity (as well as the pain that comes along with the first time), FLUFF, These three people love each other very much and all three are happier compared to previous chapters. The talk about their new lives and careers with pride <3.

ANGST, dark themes!! of addiction and recovering addicts explored. Not new for this series but again this one is much lighter than the others. They both discussing cravings and Eddie having a slip a few months prior. Steve works at a center with children of addicts and one boy has a similar situation to Y/N's accident so she helps him through that.

The boys mention regrets including being aggressive with the reader verbally and sometimes physically when they weren't sober so DOMESTIC ABUSE TRIGGER.

There are flashbacks of them as kids so mentions of Eddie and Steve dealing with their toxic dads.

I think that's it! As always go carefully in this AU and if you choose not to read that is ok. I will still love you!

Word Count: 8358

1974

You winced as you landed back first on to the gravel underneath where you had fallen from the jungle gym. 

“Oh wow! Are you okay?!” A set of hands gripped your biceps as they helped you get to your feet. “You have some stuff on your dress. Let me…” The boy’s voice trailed off as you felt him dust off the nature that stuck to your outfit. 

“Thank you.”, you mumbled as you turned to meet your hero, coming face to face with honey brown eyes and a comforting smile. 

“You’re welcome. Are you alright? Do you need to go to the nurse or…?”

“No. I think I’m okay. My, uh, back broke my fall.” You grin when he laughs. “I’m Y/N.”

“Steve.”

“Harrington?”

“Um, yeah?”

“No! Don’t mean to sound mean. The girls in my class think you’re cute. They never shut up about you.”

The boy laughs harder and your grin grows at the sight of his scrunched nose. 

“I have no idea why. I’m not that great.”

“I don’t know. I mean…I think you are.” Steve blushes at your answer and you reach out to grab his hand leading him towards the swing set. 

The two of you talk casually about things normal children your age talk about like tv shows and music. Shouting suddenly grabs your attention causing you to slow to a stop as a boy runs around the corner and heads towards you both.

“FREAK! THIS ISN’T OVER!”

“Thomas Hagan!”, a teacher yells, blocking him with her body so he can’t follow. 

The boy pauses as he leans against pole of the swings trying to catch his breath. 

“Are you alright?” He jumped as your hand reached out to touch his arm as he held them up defensively. “Hey. Hey, it’s ok. We won’t hurt you. I’m Y/N and this is Steve.” His chocolate eyes scanned you both over before finally sighing in relief when he realized you weren’t a threat.

“What’s your name?”

“E-Eddie. Eddie Munson.”

“Oh! You’re the kid that just started here. I’m sorry, man. Welcome to hell.”, Steve joked causing an exasperated laugh to leave Eddie’s lips. 

“Did Tommy do that to you?”, you ask as you gesture towards his black eye.

Shaking his head, he came over to sit on the swings beside you both. 

You couldn’t explain it at the time, not even now, but as you sat there talking to them you felt comfortable. You felt like you had known them your entire life. Nothing in this moment could have prepared you for the future that was headed towards you all. 

##########

1993

“Where up north are you, Stevie?”, Eddie asks as he takes a big bite of the burger in front of him. 

“I’ve been up in Detroit for a few months now working at a youth clinic. There’s a lot of good kids there who just need some help.”

“I’m proud of you, dude. We’re supposed to head over there to record with this big time producer. What about you, princess? Where do you call home?”

“I don’t actually have a home right now. I’m a writer for a music magazine so I’ve been on the road mostly for the past 2 years listening to bands and staying in hotels.”, you giggle as a huge smile adorns your face. “Maybe soon I’ll get to write about you, Eddie.”

“Here’s hoping. We just got signed but the manager at the label says we ‘really have something’.”

“Of course you do. You guys were always amazing.”

“Pfft, yeah sure. Drugged out me could barely focus on the strings let alone create a melody.” 

The table went silent as a heavy energy fell around the table. 

“How have things been? Any cravings?”, Steve asks as he folds his arms to lean forward on his elbows. 

“Oh, Harrington. I’m an addict. I always have cravings but choose to resist them.”

“Has it gotten any easier. To resist them, I mean.”, you inquire.

“Yes and no. I mean I used to snort blow 24/7 and now I don’t. I can go about my day and live my life but when something hard hits me or I’m having a bad day I have to physically talk myself out of not looking for a fix.”

“I can understand that. There were a few days where I sat outside of bar staring at the front door for hours before driving away.” His eyes flick towards you as he continues. “I still struggle with regret… regret that we…ruined your life.”

“You didn’t ruin my life. You definitely didn’t make it easy but… I should have left or cut ties beforehand. I just didn’t know how. I didn’t know how…to live without you two in my life.”

“Yeah. We get that to.”, Eddie sighed as a silence fell around the table. 

It had been a long time since the three of you had been together without the vices getting in the way or taking control. You had no idea how to be around them when they were sober. 

“Hey, uh, I have an idea if you two would be up for it.”, Steve grins as he tries to elevate the mood again. “Since the two of us will be in Detroit, why don’t you come with us, honey? Maybe the three of can hang out and spend some time together again. You’re even welcome to stay at my place. I don’t have a spare room but, Y/N, you can take my bed and the two of us can sleep in the living room or something.”

“Oh, Steve, I don’t want to impose—”

“No. No imposition whatsoever!”

“I can do that.”, Eddie confirms. 

“Ok. I’m ok with that.”

They both heavily exhale as if they had been holding their breath waiting for your answer. 

#########

1976

After getting into a fight with his father, Steve ran to your house knowing you’d make everything better. As soon as he showed up, you called Eddie who biked over as quickly as he could and after he arrived, you both listened intensely as the boy vented. 

“Everything’s going to be ok, Steve. You know you’re welcome to stay here.”, you try and soothe the boy as you wrap your arms around his shoulder. 

“Why am I never enough for that asshole?!”

“Because he’s just that; an asshole.”, Eddie quips making the other boy softly smile in his direction. 

“I should just do whatever I want to since I can never make him happy.”

“That’s a good idea. Oh! I’ll be right back.”, the boy grins at you both before running up your stairs. 

“Steve, you ARE amazing. I’m sorry he can’t see that but no matter you have us.” Grabbing his face, you kiss his cheek causing him to blush. 

Music starts to play and you both look up to see Eddie coming down the stairs with your bulky radio in his hand. Placing it on the bottom step, he stagers around in place as he begins to lip sync the lyrics. 

“I'll state my case, of which I'm certain I've lived a life that´s full I've traveled each and every highway And more, much more than this I did it my way.”

The guitar starts to play and Eddie pretends to strum as he jumps to the ground, continuing to sing as he dances around you both. 

“Regrets, I’ve had a few But then again, too few to mention I did, what I had to do And saw it through without exemption.”

Grabbing Steve’s hand, you do the same, dancing to the music as you three sing along.

“I planned each chartered course Each careful step along the highway And more, much more than this I did it my way.”

Eddie spins you and you laugh as you watch wide smiles paint their faces. You loved them both so much and knew after everything they go through they deserved happy, peaceful moments like this. To you, they deserved the world. 

***

The flight up to Detroit was uneventful but Steve did fill the time by telling you about some of the kids at the clinic he worked at while Eddie crashed beside him. His eyes lit up as he spoke, telling you about the turnaround a lot of them had made and how talented they all were. 

“Amanda is such a smart girl. She’s 15 and she can draw these beautiful pictures. I’m working on seeing if I can book a gallery or something for her to show her work. Right now, she draws for her mother works two jobs to help take care of them because the dad is a junkie.”

“What kind of things does she draw?”

“She can do portraits and people. She drew me once as this like superhero. I have the picture on my fridge.”

“That’s amazing.”, you beam up at him as he smiles to himself. “Steve, I really am proud of you…of both of you.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”, he softly grins as his gaze shifts towards his lap. “I’m very proud of you as well. I’m glad you found something that makes you happy. When we were growing up you had mentioned writing before.”

“Yeah. I never knew what I wanted to write about but one day a guy I was dating overheard me talking about grunge metal and offered me a job.”

“Hm. Are you two still together?”

“Uh, no. We only dated for a couple of months. I’m not with anyone right now. No time.”, you chuckle trying to lighten the mood again. “What about you? Any future Mrs. Harringtons?”

“No. No future Mrs. Harringtons. I kind of spent time focusing on me and now the kids.”

“You have to be careful with that. You don’t want to fill one addiction with a new one and miss life entirely. I’m guilty of that those first three years after I left.”

***

You and Eddie enter Steve’s apartment slowly as you take a look around. It was a bit smaller than what you were used to when it came to him but he made it his own. There were posters of bands he enjoyed along the walls with some shelves lined with books he had read. In the corner of his living room was a desk with a few papers and pictures clients had drawn him over the years. A frame caught your eye and you bent down to get a good look as you took in his sobriety coins.

“Yeah, I, uh, bought one of these little frame things because it felt disrespectful to just throw them somewhere.”

“That’s amazing, dude.”, Eddie praised as he threw down his bag. “I, uh, I had an incident a few months back. I’m on the blue 6 month one but…”

“What happened, Ed?”

“Oh, um, nothing we need to get into, sweetheart. I did the proper protocol with my sponsor and she helped get me back on track.”

Steve patted his back comfortingly, knowing how hard it was and is to remain sober. Gesturing you down his hallway, he led you towards his bedroom and you grinned at the simplicity. 

“The bathroom is right in there and please both of you feel free to take anything from the kitchen. Me casa es su casa.”, he chuckles as he nervously runs his hands through his hair. “Sorry, that was cheesy.”

“Steve, you guys don’t have to try so hard. Just be yourselves.”

“That’s the thing isn’t it?”, Eddie sighs from his spot against the wall. “The three of us don’t exactly know who we are together anymore.”

You gently smile in his direction as you reach for his hand.

“We’re best friends. Always have been.”

######################

1980

“Eddie, why does that sound familiar?”, you grin from your spot on his bed where you had been listening to him strum his new guitar his uncle bought him at the pawn shop in town. 

After his run in with the lady in town today, Rick offered him something from his secret stash. He was amazed at how fast it began working, numbing the anger he was feeling and pushing him to a blissful state he didn’t want to experience alone.  

Grinning, he continues to move his fingers as his gentle voice fills your ears. 

“Baby, if I think about you I think about love Darlin', if I live without you I live without love.”

“They’ve been playing it on the radio nonstop.”, he chuckles, rolling his eyes.

“You sound amazing. I can’t wait to see you on that stage one day.”

“Pfft. Me? Al Munson’s trailer trash kid rocking it out on stage making millions of dollars and being successful?”

 Fueled with frustration, you grip his chin and force him to look at you. 

“Don’t ever let me hear you say anything like that again, Edward Munson. You are NOT trash and you’re nothing like your dad. You can be anything you want to be.”

“Yeah…tell that to people in this backwards town.”

“Fuck what these people think! I think you’re fantastic and so does Steve. You hung out with Rick today. I’m sure he thinks you’re an awesome friend.” Your eyes scan him over when all he does is nod. “Eddie, did something happen in town today? Did someone say something to you?”

His own beautiful, chocolate color hues stare past you for a moment before he blinks back into the moment and flashes you a big, tooth filled grin. 

“No, sweetheart. I guess I’m just feeling a little low today. I’m sorry.”

Running his fingers over the strings, he plays the song with much more vigor than before. 

“I would give you both night and day Love satisfyin'

Feel like makin' Feel like makin' love.”

“Mhmm. What do you know about makin’ love, Munson?”, you giggle allowing him to lighten the mood. 

“Oh, baby. I’m going to be a rockstar, remember? I know everything.”, he winks.

***

You smile as you sit in the booth watching Corroded Coffin play their music. Eddie was in a completely different zone as his fingers ran across the strings of his guitar. This was his dream; this is what he always wanted but always felt was out of reach. 

When he was in his drugged out haze you would watch him lazily try to play but stumble as his fingers trembled against the instrument. It killed you because you could always picture him on stage with a crowd full of people screaming his name. He just never believed it himself. 

“That was good, baby.”

“That was fucking garbage, Y/N. I barely played anything that would count as a note.”

“That was fantastic guys. Eddie, your band undersold your talent!”, the producer compliments making the metalhead blush. “Ok, let’s take lunch and we’ll come back in about an hour. There’s a cafeteria on the first floor if you guys are interested. It’s on me.”

“You sounded amazing.”, you grin as you meet him in the hallway. “I told you that you were going to be a rockstar one day.”

“Ha! I’m not quite there yet but thank you, sweetheart.”

After getting your food, you both sit and talk about the last couple of years. Eddie told you about some jobs he worked at in Indiana not wanting to be too far from the guys so they could practice and work on things together for the band. He mentioned Wayne and how well he was doing especially after being promoted to a higher position at his work. 

“He deserves it. Wayne always worked way too hard for almost no money and appreciation.”

“Tell me about it.”, he chuckles. “And of course, the first day he starts his new position, he gets a crush on one of the female employees underneath him!” 

That makes you laugh hard and he relishes the sound as his eyes watch you light up. That feeling of regret washes over him and he averts his gaze to his plate as he shuffles some food around.

“So, um, any rockstar boyfriends out there touring the world?”

“No, no boyfriend. I focused on myself more than anything and honestly haven’t had time for a full-blown relationship.”, you reply. “What about you? Any new girlfriends?”

“Naw, sweetheart. I’ve kind of been doing the same thing more or less.”, he answers sullenly. “Quite frankly, I haven’t met anyone who would be willing to sneak backstage of a Metallica show and pretend to be the building manager to get her boyfriend an autograph.”

This time when you laugh, he cackles with you and embraces the warm feeling that follows. 

“I told him it was for my kid.”, you blush. “God, hopefully I never have to write for them. I’ve been lucky so far but that will be an awkward exchange if they remember me!”

“Are you kidding, princess? You definitely leave an impression! Who could forget about you?” Eddie froze as he heavily exhaled and shook his head. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry…”

“No, Ed, it’s ok…”

“You would think I’d have this down by now but…”

You nod before you rise to your feet and get on his side of the table to sit beside him. 

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you lean your head on his shoulder as he reaches up to caress your arm.

#################

1980

Steve tenderly grins your way as he watches your eyes light up at the movie Kungfu you two had been watching. Well, you had been watching. He had been stuck in his own head after that ridiculous conversation with his dad. 

“Son, you’re about to start high school which means it’s time to really buckle down and focus. No more fucking around. If you want to run my company one day you can’t keep being lazy.”

While he had been talking there was a woman in his office waiting for him to give her attention. Her dress seemed way too tight and it inched up her thighs as she sat on top of his desk. Steve would never understand why his father cheated on his mother. To him, these women weren’t nearly half as pretty as her nor anywhere close to being as loyal as she was. 

His dad said he needed to ‘buckle down and focus’ but what he heard was ‘it’s time for you to start being like me’. 

Steve hadn’t planned on coming over but he felt weird after drinking the bottle he found. He thought booze were supposed to make you happy but he found himself feeling incredibly lonely. When he showed up unannounced, you opened your front door and eagerly ushered him with no hesitation. 

You always made them feel like they mattered. 

“Steve? Are you alright?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m ok. Just thinking.”

“Did you want to watch something else? I put this on because I know the cheesy effects make you laugh.”, you giggle as his smile grows. 

“Naw, honey. This is fine. My dad was being…himself you know?”

“I know. You know you can always talk to me. I love you and I’m always here for you.”

Opening his arms wide, you fall into his embrace and he prays you don’t smell the liquor that lingers.

***

“Oh, wow. Look at you and you have your own shelf.”, you tease as Steve leads you into his office. 

After leaving Eddie so Corroded Coffin could continue recording, you headed to the center the other boy worked at so he could give you the “grand tour” as he called it. You grinned at the drawings and pictures he had posted everywhere around him. Multiple books and files were strewn out all over the place on his desk but a particular photo caught your eye. 

“Oh, um, yeah. I still keep that there as a reminder.”

Picking up the image of you three at the amusement park, you smile as you fall into the memory. They both seemed extremely content that day as if all their worries had disappeared. You thought about that day often to especially when you passed one on the tour bus you were riding in at the time. 

“The kids ask me about you two constantly.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Do you want to meet them?”

When you nod, his grin stretches across his face as he giddily grabs your hand and guides you to a much larger room where some kids were already sitting around waiting. 

“Mr. Harrington brought a date to group!”

“Look at Hugh Hefner over here!”

“’Bout time you settle down, old man!”

“Alright, alright. All of you settle down.”, Steve jokes as you laugh. “This is my friend from Hawkins I tell you guys about. This is Y/N.”

“You’re the girl he doesn’t shut up about.”, a young lady smiles. 

“That would be Amanda.”

“I know you. He told me all about you on the ride up here. Your work is amazing.”

“Thank you!”, she beams.

Taking a seat beside Steve, you watch as he conducts the group session, introducing each kid and responding where appropriate. You couldn’t help but marvel at his change as he took control and seemed way more confident than he ever did back home. 

There was no one he needed to impress or a “legacy” he needed to live up to. He could just be himself.

“Please, Katie. Trust me, your mom doesn’t fucking care. That’s why she drinks.”

“Derek.”, Steve warned. “That’s not how we talk to each other in here.”

Your eyes scanned over the boy across from you. He couldn’t be older than 17 but he seemed to carry years of anger and burden on his shoulders. His arms were folded tight around his chest; a barrier to protect him from anyone trying to get in. Emphasized by the oversized hoodie that he kept up over his head. 

You knew this boy; you had been him.

“What? Am I wrong? If she cared she’d stop fucking binge drinking every night and actually spend time with her daughter.”

“Who in your family drinks? Mom or dad?”

All eyes turn to you after you pose your question.

“My dad. Why? Does it matter?”

“Yes, it does. I know how hard it is…to have someone you love choose substances over you. It fucking hurts.”

“Look, I don’t need another adult to patronize to me, okay?”

“She’s not. If anyone understands what you guys are going through it’s Y/N. Especially you, Derek. Remember how I told you guys about my accident and DUI? Y/N was…was in the car with me.” Steve stumbles over his words before quickly trying to regain control again. 

“Hm. Did you rat him out? Is that why he’s clean now? Are you going to tell me I should be open and honest or some shit?”, the boy spat.

“No, I didn’t. I actually told the police I didn’t remember who was driving. Took a couple of weeks though because I needed surgery after metal from the car sliced through me. He never even came to the hospital.”

“Wow, Mr. Harrington. You were an asshole.”, a girl sighed. 

“I was wasted and terrified. I couldn’t face what I did to someone I loved.”

Derek’s eyes were suddenly glassy as he adjusted his body in his seat.

“He does love you, honey.”, you coo towards the boy as his bottom lip quivers. “If it were as easy as putting the bottle or drug down they would. Some people can but for others it’s so much harder. Whether they heal or not is ultimately up to them but no matter what happens, Derek, none of it is your fault.”

The young man sighs as he breaks down and the girl beside him wraps her arms around him as he cries. A palm touches yours and you turn your head to see Steve’s soft eyes taking you in. 

You see the never-ending apology within them as flashes of the old boy you knew before the booze pushed through before receding as he flashes you a gentle grin and lifts his hand. 

################

1983

“Guys, really? Do we have to eat all this before going on the rollercoaster?”, you giggle as you watch Eddie pour more cheese over the nachos in front of you three.

“Yes, sweetheart, we do.”, he answers in a serious tone as his tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth. 

“And the cherry on top.” 

Steve produces a cupcake from his side and places it in front of you as the metalhead pushes a candle through the top of the frosting. You smile as Steve cups his hands around it while Eddie pulls out his lighter and ignites the wick. 

“Now make a wish and blow out your candle.”

Your gaze shifts between their happy faces as they wait for you to complete the task. 

“I wish everyday could be like today.”

As you blow it out, both boys clap and cheer making you blush as Steve kisses your cheek. 

“Happy birthday, beautiful.”

Eddie leans over to take hold of your jaw and peck your lips before sitting back down. 

“Happy Birthday, princess. Now, you eat this while sire and I devour this here.”

“Why do I have to and she doesn’t?”

“Because it’s her birthday, Steven! No stop whining and say Ah!”

As the boy scowls he unhooks his jaw and Eddie shoves a chip into his mouth making you laugh as you lean against him. 

“Oh my god, you two are ridiculous! I love you so much.”

***

You laugh hard at the joke Eddie had made as Steve struggles to keep soda inside his mouth while he cackles with you. 

“I really missed you guys.”, the metalhead announces, his gaze shifting between you both. “I mean I’ve made a lot of new friends you know but I talk about the things we used to do like me doing Karaoke to make Steven laugh or you and I, Y/N, going to the horror movie marathon just outside of town.”

“I remember that. That was so much fun.”, you smile. 

“One of the things I enjoy about my job is interacting with those kids. Most of them are sarcastic as fuck like you, Ed, or extremely kind like, Y/N. Thank you for what you did with Derek today by the way. He struggles to talk about his relationships with anyone let alone about his dad.”

“May I ask what happened? You mentioned our accident…”

“Um, yeah. It was kind of the same thing. His dad hit a car with him in it while drunk, ran from the scene, and Derek took the blame. His dad begged him to before he bolted…kid was only 15.”

“Jesus.”, Eddie sighed. “Sounds like my dad.”

“He seems like a good boy. He’ll be okay.” You flash him a comforting grin and he can’t help but smile back. “I, um, I feel like we keep ignoring the elephant in the room. I want you to know I am genuinely so proud of you both. Steve I never imagined you’d be as confident as you seem now. You always told me you thought you were worthless and I know that’s because of your asshole dad. I watched for years as you lived in his shadow but were still so terrified of becoming him… Those kids don’t have to experience that because they have you now.”

“Eddie, you were always afraid of people abandoning you and numbed yourself constantly. When you were numb you were so angry and heartbroken. When I saw you playing your guitar again with your band… you finally seemed at peace.” 

Your voice cracked as a tear escaped your eye and you awkwardly laughed as you wiped it away. 

“That’s all I ever wanted for you two.”

“6 months ago… when I relapsed… I was in such a low place. My apartment I was staying in got robbed, I had just been let go from a job I was at, and this girl I was dating said she didn’t want to see me anymore. She said I was loser and it fucking hurt like hell. I felt so alone and it was almost like a dream. I barely even remember where I bought the drugs or how I got back home but as soon as it hit my nose I regretted it.”

“Y/N, I saw your face and everything I wished I could take back. The fights, the names, the pain… The way we talked to you.” He cringed as memories flashed through his mind.

“I get that. Of course, my biggest regret is the accident but the one I think about the most is the first time we were intimate when we…I…” You looked at Steve with sincere confusion not thinking anything of that night. Then again compared to all the others you had after it was just a blip in a chaotic timeline. “Y/N, honey, you lost your virginity on my couch after threatening to leave us because of the jugs of liquor you found in my trash.”

“We should have done it right. I picture us taking you to dinner and you’d be wearing that red dress we loved.”

“Yeah, that one floofed out above your knees kind of like a tutu.”, Eddie chuckled. “With your hair up in a ponytail so we could so your face. You always wore make up but you never needed to. You were…are… so beautiful.”

“How are you two dressed?”, you murmur their way.

“Let’s see. I’d probably have my jeans and black shirt but I would have made sure it was clean with little to no cigarette smell.”, the metalhead jests causing you two to let out a little laugh.

“I’d have worn jeans to but a nice polo shirt I think to go with it and that expensive cologne my dad kept buying me.”, he smirked. “We’d take you to Enzos because you deserve a nice meal but of course you would complain about the prices even though we insist it’s no problem.”

“Some soft music would be playing and we’d ask you to dance.”

Steve rises to his feet and messes with his stereo till a slow 70s song flows through his speakers. Extending his hand to you, you take it as he pulls you to your feet and places one of his palms on your lower back as he holds the other in the air. 

“Is this ok?”, he whispers under his breath, exhaling heavily in relief when you nod. “I would tell you about how I fell in love with you the first time I met you. You said all the girls in your class had a crush on me but I didn’t get it. I think I said something along of the lines ‘I’m not that great.’ And you said—”

“I don’t know. You seem pretty great to me.”

He tenderly smiles at your response before grabbing your hand to spin you and pass you to Eddie who was waiting with open arms. 

“I would have probably made a joke about the music saying that dancing to Dio is way better.” He smiles when you giggle. “I’d tell you that the first time I saw you I thought you were way too good for me. I remember you asked about my black eye my dad had given me and it surprised me. Every other adult already assumed or were afraid to ask, staring at me constantly. But you actually fucking cared.”

“Then what would happen?”

Eddie passed you back to Steve and this time you wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your head against his chest. You didn’t see it but he and the metalhead exchanged a glance filled with slight worry as he held you and leaned his cheek on top of your head. 

“Y/N, honey—”

“You don’t have to answer. I can let you go, we can get ready for bed, and go back to being friends. We’ll always be at least that because I agree with Eddie. I miss you two so much but unlike the first time I left…I don’t feel bad about it.” 

Pulling away from him, you back up a bit to address them both. 

“I’m happier than I’ve ever been and you were right in the letter you left me. I had some more healing to do to. I needed to find out who I was without you and now that I figured that out…I want to see if…maybe…we can start over. I mean we’ve all grown so much and I’d like to get to know the two men in front of me.”

Their eyes continually scan over you, trying to understand and get a true read to make sure you’re alright.

“But like I said, you don’t have to. We can go back to laughing or go to sleep. If it makes you feel better, you taking my virginity that morning…I don’t remember it being a bad experience. Yeah it hurt but it was going to for me anyway and not just because I was virgin.”, you tease, smirking their way.

You were surprised when Eddie was the first to move, taking agonizingly slow steps till he was directly in front of you with his nose hovering just above your own. After blinking a couple of times, he pulled you into his embrace and you closed your eyes as you inhaled his signature smell while clinging your arms around him. 

“I love you.”, you whisper. As if your words were a match, they ignited the metalhead’s passion as his hands tilted your head back and he kissed your lips. As if muscle memory was taking over, you clung to his neck as you jumped up into his arms and his hands promptly took hold of your thighs as your legs wrapped around him. 

As he starts to carry you, his feet give out underneath him as he trips over something and you both tumble to the floor. He manages to keep himself from crushing you as his palms shoot out to catch himself on the hard wood. 

“Fuck! Shit, I’m so sorry. I forgot for a moment this wasn’t my place.”, he chuckles shakily. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”, you laugh.

“I feel like a fucking teenager. I’m actually…I don’t know…nervous.”

“Would it…make you feel better if I admitted I’m nervous to? It’s been a while for me and if I’m being honest I think I’ve only been with you guys sober that one time but that was after that intense session. We’ve never been together…like this.”

Wind moves your hair and you both turn to see Steve laying out one of his blankets with a couple of pillows on the floor. 

“I wish I had lost my virginity to you.”, he admitted. “I was wasted and I’m ashamed to say I don’t even remember the girl’s name. I think you’re the only girl…woman… I’ve been with sober.”

“I was half awake.”, Eddie sighed. “Karla something in the back of my van. I barely remember it either.”

“Were you rough with the other girls like you were me?”, you asked.

“Sometimes but you were the only one that seemed to enjoy it.”

“Did you?”, the metalhead asked. “We never even asked what you liked in bed. Just kind of did our own thing…”

“I did and I didn’t. I hated when we did it after a fight. Kind of like that night we went to Steve’s house after spending time at The Hideout. Eddie said I wanted to fuck Andrew and Steve, you got mad at me because I defended you in front of your dad. You said I butted in and made things worse. You both said you were going to use me one last time before I abandoned you.”

“And I choked you too hard…”

“Sometimes if you both were angry enough the line would blur.”

Steve’s head hung knowing he was the culprit of most of your verbal sparring matches with him. He cringed every time he thought about the awful things he had said to you while drunk. 

Scooting closer to him, your hand reached out to grab his chin lifting his face so you could see his eyes. 

“I love you to.” The man sighed as your thumb caressed his bottom lip. “Show me the men you are now.”

When his lips connected with yours, you wanted to cry because for the first time in a long time you felt safe. Your tongues mingled together as his hips grinded down against yours eliciting a soft moan as you turned your head to find Eddie. Steve’s mouth continued to travel to your neck as he clung to you, your fingers threading through his hair as the metalhead leaned down to kiss the other side. 

Kisses and stolen touches were exchanged as clothes were removed, you not wanting them to be too far for very long as their lips refamiliarized them with your body. Lifting your legs open wide over both their hips, you mewled as their fingers ran delicately up your thighs. 

“This is what we should have done.”, Steve whispered in your ear. “We should have taken our time with you; made you feel more comfortable.”

“Made you feel good and help prepare you.”, Eddie added as he tenderly kissed your cheek and the side of your face. 

When his thick fingers slide into your core, your eyes rolled as your head dipped back. Both your palms ran along cocks and the sound of their groans in your ears had you clenching tightly around his digits. When Steve joined his friend and massaged fast circles into your clit, you knew you wouldn’t last long.

“Fuck, please. Just like that.”

They each grinded against you, desperate for relief as the sound of your slick filled the room as they picked up their pace. 

“That’s it, honey. Cum for us.”

“We got you, pretty girl.”

Your body trembled as you came, your lips searching for theirs as their fingers guided you through. 

“Fuck, that was sexy.”, Steve panted against your lips as he maneuvered himself on top of you. “Wait, fuck, do I need…I may have some condoms somewhere…”

“No. It’s ok. I’m still on the pill.”

Softly grinning down at you, he places a peck on your lips before trailing kisses along your cheek and to your ear. 

“We should have asked that first time. We didn’t even bother. We were so afraid you really were going to leave…”, he whispered. Reaching between your bodies, he gripped the base of his cock and gradually guided it into your core. “Oh my God, Y/N.”

Steve groans as your pussy stretches to accommodate his size and the memory of that evening smacks into you like a ton of bricks. 

“Steve, you’re so big. It won’t fit—”

“It will, honey, I promise…”

“Just go slow and keep talking to me.”

“No, no, baby. You’re ok. Eddie, fuck, can you—”

“Are you ok, sweetheart?”

“Hurts.”

“Hey, are you alright? I’m not hurting you, am I?”

Tears start to fall from your eyes but as the man lifts himself up to pull out and comfort you, you wrap your arms around him to hold him to you. 

“I’m ok. Don’t stop, please, and don’t stop talking to me. You feel so good… I just…I love you.”

His heart flutters at your admission every time he hears you say it. They both thought they had lost you forever and rightfully so but to know they have a chance… they weren’t going to waste it this time. 

Steve slowly began pumping his hips, relishing the feeling of you clinging to him again. 

“I love you to, baby. This is how I should have taken you that first time, nice, slow, and—fuck—so deep. Your pussy so fucking tight as it pulls me in. I can feel you everywhere, Y/N, you’re so warm and wet. You take my cock so well…such a good girl.”

Your eyes rolled as you clenched at the name. With anyone else you had been with you never allowed them to play rough or tell you things like how good of a girl you were or anything like that. It reminded you of them and truth be told you only really believed it when they said it. You didn’t want to push them but you wanted them to know it was ok to be a bit more passionate when it came to you. 

“I’m your good girl?”, you whimper making him moan. 

“Fuck, yeah, honey. You’re our good girl.”

“Then fuck me like a good girl deserves, Steve.” As his head falls between your neck and shoulder, your fingers cling to his hair as he thrusts his cock into you a bit harder than before. “That’s it. Just like that.”

Your eyes swiveled to look for Eddie, finding him beside you both stroking his length as he waited. The sight drove you wild as the other man moved at a faster rhythm, pounding into that sensitive spot inside you that had your jaw going slack. 

“Please…please, Steve. I’m gonna cum.”

Reaching for your hands, he pinned them above your head as he held them in his own, intertwining his fingers with yours as he sucked little marks on to your neck. 

The coil in your belly snapped as you repeatedly moaned his name, his lips hastily meeting yours to swallow your moans as he chased his high. 

“Can I swallow your cum, baby? Please?”

He doesn’t respond as his eyes stare into your own but as his hips sputter he quickly pulls out of you and crawls up your body to push his dick into your awaiting mouth. His fingers tangle in your hair as you bob your head and he mewls as he spills his release down your throat. 

As he backs away from you, you sit up and kiss his lips, his palms cupping your face as he holds you close to him. After caressing his cheek and silently assuring him you were alright, you shimmed your way to the metalhead and wrapped your arms around his neck as he adjusted himself till you were sitting on top of him straddling his waist. 

“It was my first time with the woman I loved and I didn’t even get to see your face.”, Eddie murmured as his hands traveled down your sides to rest on your thighs. “I barely even checked in to make sure you were ok.”

As he spoke, you continued to look down at him as you dragged your pussy lips along his cock.

“I should have had you on top of me just like this so I could see you and you could see me. See that beautiful face scrunch right here when you slide me in.” He smiles when you giggle as he pokes your forehead. “Fuck, Y/N, I missed a lot of things but nothing more than your laugh, sweetheart.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you tilted down to kiss his lips and his palms clung to the base of your neck as you guided your hips down onto his length. 

“I love you, Eddie.”

“Mmm—I love you to, pretty girl.” Subtly bouncing on top of him, you both mewled as his tip hit that soft spot repeatedly. “There you go, princess. Still so fucking tight.”

Your eyes searched his face as he licked his lips and arched his neck, the veins along his throat making you moan. 

“Spank me.”, you plead as your nose grazes his. “I promise it’s ok.”

His eyes fully open, meeting your own as you place his hands on your behind. Gauging your reaction, he kneads your meaty flesh as he guides your movements.

“Fuck, baby. You look so sexy riding my dick. Make yourself cum. I want to feel your pussy squeezing me.”

Bouncing as hard as you can, your head falls on his shoulder as his palm spanks your ass and he feels your warm breath heat his skin. 

“A-Again, Eddie. Just like that.”

Ring laced fingers take hold of the back of your neck as his other arm circles around your waist to hold you still as he plants his feet and thrusts up into you meeting your motions with a hard one of his own. 

“Like that, Y/N? That the spot? I know, sweetheart, I got you.”

That wasn’t the first time he had ever said those words to you but this was the first time you ever believed him. 

“Say it again.”

His head turned slightly to kiss your temple as he softly murmured his last sentence till you tumbled over the ledge and he spanked you again as he helped you ride your high. Leaning back on your knees, he followed you and you hugged his head to your chest as you rolled your hips till you felt him warm your insides. 

His lips roamed your skin as he guided your sweaty bodies on your sides. A second set of welcomed kisses glided along your shoulder blade as you felt yourself slowly drift off into bliss. 

###############

1982

“Fuck, why am I nervous? We’ve known her since like 4th grade.”, Steve hyped himself up as they sat outside your door in his car. 

“Yeah, but this is different. We’ve never looked at her that way before and vice versa.”, Eddie sighed.

“I mean…I always thought she was beautiful. I just…what would a perfect girl like that want with an asshole like me?”

“Steve, you’re not a…well you’re a little bit of an asshole.”, the metalhead teases making his friend laugh. “I get it though. She’s perfect to me to and deserves more than some trailer trash felon’s kid.”

As his hands begin to shake, he reaches into his leather jacket for his pack of cigarettes.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m ok. I just haven’t had a hit all day and I’m jumpy. I wanted to be sober for our first date with her.”

Steve smiled at his friend as he flashes him his jacket pocket. 

“Same. No flask or any alcohol.” Eddie nodded as he patted the man’s shoulder. “You’re not trailer trash, Munson. I hope you know that. You’ve been my best friend to and I’ve never once seen you that way. I love ya, man.”

“Aw. I love you to, Harrington.”, he replies in a high pitch sing song voice before glancing out the window. “Thank you. I don’t know where I’d be without you guys.”

Grinning, they both hop out of the car and knock on your door, their jaws dropping when you greet them in a beautiful blue dress they had never seen on you before. 

“Wow, you two look handsome.”

“We don’t look half as good as you. Oh my god.”, Steve compliments making you blush. 

Eddie extends his arm like he had seen so many times in movies, his smile widening when you loop your own through it and lean over to kiss his cheek. 

#############

You woke up to the sound of beeping as your eyes opened in search of the noise. Steve groaned as he rolled over, blindly searching before holding up his watch, and pushing the button to silence it. 

“Do you have to go to work?”, you whisper, smiling when he shakes his head and turns back onto his side reminding you of the little boy who used to do sleep overs with you in elementary school. 

As you try to face him as well, you realize a tattooed arm is laying across your chest and glance over to see Eddie on his tummy with his messy hair blocking his face. Tenderly, you reach over to move it to the side, rousing him from sleep as he scrunches his nose and blinks before pulling you closer to him till his nose was pressed against your cheek. 

The first time you met him his hair was extremely short and he had bruises everywhere. When he came to your house, you could tell he felt out of place but you extended your hand and allowed him to hold it if he felt uncomfortable. Those first couple of times he stayed over, you would wake up with the back of his palm near yours. 

Fingers tracing your skin bring you back to the present as your eyes meet Steve’s and he smiles as he runs them up your arm and down your stomach. Your breathing hitches when you feel the tips along the scar on your stomach. 

“Does it still hurt?”

“Sometimes…when it rains or snows… or when I dream about it…” His amber eyes scan your face as you continue. “Those are the two experiences I think about a lot still. You two screaming at each other before leaving me and finding Eddie ODed…”

The man’s thumb caressed your skin as he kissed your skin.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“I meant what I said before that night two years ago. I forgive you both. This past week just hearing and seeing how far you two have come… I loved you both so much but I never felt safe. Last night and right now… I feel like it’s finally safe for me to let go and trust you again. If you want that…if you want me…”

Eddie’s lips abruptly crash to your own before kissing your nose and up to your forehead. 

“I love you so much, Y/N. I will always want you, baby. I promise you ARE safe with me. I got you.”

Steve lightly grips your chin, turning you to face him as he kisses your lips as well. 

“I love you, honey, and you are all I’ve ever wanted. You’re safe with me to and you both are more than welcome to stay here or we can look for a bigger place. Whatever we have to do, I’m in.”

You held them both to you as the tears began to flow, thankful that your lives would no longer be trapped in memories but new beginnings with the two people you loved the most and loved you. 

################

[sparrowrye]

Demi Demon || Alastor x Reader, A2 part 20

Synopsis: It’s been over a year since we were brought under Alastor’s watchful eye. We’ve unlocked our Demonic powers, discovered our own talents, and began building the Safe Haven with Charlie and co. Alastor seems increasingly interested in the power we hold as one and intends to use it properly.

Previous part

Part 20: fixing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reagan and I were alone on the shore. We had spent time alone recovering, physically and mentally, before agreeing to talk. She sat on one of the smooth boulders while I stood in the water, claws sinking in the sand in an effort to help ground myself. I was still buzzing from the skirmish.

"Why didn't you tell me about the blood thing?" she asked after several minutes of silence.

"I didn't want to scare you," I admitted. I was in my Demon form, per her request. She wanted to talk to 'the real me'.

"I'm not fourteen anymore."

"But you liked me. We were close because I wasn't like the 'other Demons'." I pulled my feet out of the sand to allow them to sink again. My tail moved through the water like a fish.

"I thought we told each other everything."

I looked over my shoulder at her. She was a friend and a daughter to me. I was amazed that we had even reached the point we had in less than four years. I was destroying it now. "I'm still trying to be comfortable with the nature of who I am."

We fell silent. She pulled her legs up to wrap her arms around them. The sun was warm and the Fall wind mixed with the ocean breeze. I had yet to actually be warm since...well, everything.

"What did he say to you?" I asked.

"A bunch of random crap."

"Like what?" I pressed, my back still to her.

"Like how Demons always see themselves as more powerful than Humans. That without Humans they would still just be spirits. And that they were the reason I don't know my real parents."

"You don't know them because you're a child of the ring fights," I answered a little too harshly. I quickly dropped it to something more lighter. "Something that Humans and Demons both do."

"I know that."

More silence hung overhead. I took a step further into the water so it reached my shins.

"Why did you call for me?"

"What do you mean?"

I turned around to face her finally. "Why did you call for me? I'm sure he was going to take you with him to wherever those other pure Humans are. So why call for me? Why did you want to come back?"

She didn't answer right away, casting her eyes down at the sand and face still hidden behind her knees. She looked like her fourteen-year-old self who I first met.

"Because I care about you," she admitted, "and because...you aren't...like other Demons." She put her legs down so she was sitting cross legged. "And because I know you care about the haven just as much as I do."

I stepped out of the water and walked over to her. She was at my head level while sitting on the rock. "I'm sorry. For not telling you the truth about myself." I gently placed my hand on top of hers and she flipped it over to hold it. "Thank you for trusting me."

She let out a sigh as I wrapped my arm around her back in an embrace. "No more secrets? Please?"

"No more secrets." I squeezed her once then let go to look at her. "I suppose this is a good time, then, to clear the air and tell the rest of my secrets. I'm uh...I'm not just a Demon. I'm half Angel, too."

She just kinda looked at me, eyes unblinking and body very still. Then she let out a loud, "What!?"

****

Alastor returned later that night in the pouring rain. I was in the living room reading, waiting for him to come back. His shadow sneaked up the stairs into his room where I heard his footsteps walking around. I let out a sigh and put the book I was reading on the side table.

I felt my nerves prickle down my back as I climbed the stairs and came to stand in front of his door. I could hear him pacing, the slight creak of the floor being the only hint. Red seeped out from under the door as I knocked gently on it. There was a moment of silence. Then he opened it. 

A wave of cedar and smoke reached my nose and warmth spilled out of his room into the cold hallway. His towering form blocked the light coming from behind and his red eyes locked with mine. I felt an odd spike of fear and excitement.

"You should be asleep," he said. His face looked like his usual smile but his eyes weren't as sharp. His smile actually looked fake. I noticed his monocle was missing, too.

"Is he dead?" I asked.

He let out a sigh through his smile and averted his eyes. "I'm afraid I failed to find him. Lucifer will send a message to the Overlords to make him their top priority." I nodded my head softly and looked down at my claws, tapping the edges together perfectly. "Was there something you wished to speak to me about?" he prompted.

"Well...yes." I glanced up to see his eyes were back on me. I put one foot claw on top of the other. I had spent the entire day thinking about how I wanted to word it yet failed almost immediately. "I um...thank you for today."

A breath of silence. "Perhaps you should withhold it."

"Why?" I tilted my head back to look at him fully.

"In order to find you, I had to violate our deals. Lucifer undid it so I could reach you through your mind."

My mouth hung open. That strange feeling of something being unwound when I was trapped had been our deals. I had no idea that Lucifer could undo a deal like that. Then again, he was the King of Hell.

I dropped my gaze back to my claws. "I'm glad you did. I don't know how I would've gotten out. I'm sorry."

"What for?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "It seems you always have to save me. I'm sure it's annoying."

"You saved me today."

My head snapped up. "What?"

"I have relied on my magic for centuries and when it was striped from me, I had next to nothing to defend myself. You, however, tapped into your own skills and saved us both from that situation. So I believe you also deserve a thank you."

My mouth moved but nothing came out of it. He has never said anything like that before, let alone even say thank you to anyone. I felt warmth creep into my chest and up to my cheeks. I felt the urge to run back to my room, to safety, but I didn't want to leave his presence. I didn't want his attention to be anywhere but on me.

His teeth had disappeared to allow a gentle smile on his face. "I will be awake for some time," he started, "perhaps you'd like to accompany me?" He stepped to the side and motioned into his room. His room. I finally had a full view of what it looked like.

On one side was a warm fireplace adjacent to a large window. A table and set of chairs sat in the corner in between them. On the other side of the room that he was partially blocking, I saw a massive bed with red curtains on the edges. A desk was immediately next to it, covered in a mess of papers and books.

Fear prickled in the back of my throat. He must've caught on because he turned on the radio sitting on the mantle to a soft melody and manifested my book on the table. I regretted wanting his attention but didn't dare pass up an opportunity of him being this kind, this open, with me. So I forced my feet to unstick from the floor and walk into the room.

It was warm, almost too warm, and the air felt strangely heavy. The smell of smoke was stronger here but I saw no evidence of a cigarette or anything like it. I watched him walk over to his desk to retrieve a handful of papers and a single book. I sat on one of the chairs and opened my own book, my fingers struggling to fiddle through the pages. I rubbed one of my sweaty palms on my pant leg under the table.

He sat in the other chair, legs crossed, and laid out the papers and book. He reached into his pocket to withdraw a pair of glasses. My mouth dropped open and he smiled at me with his teeth. "I seem to keep surprising you."

"I've never seen you with glasses."

"You've seen me with my monocle." He let the glasses fall lower on his nose so he could look down at the papers.

"That's different."

He let out a soft, deep chuckle. "I suppose." He was writing something on the papers. He looked like he was copying something from the book but I couldn't tell what it was or where it was from. He noticed my staring and I tried to avert my eyes back to my own book. He continued to stare up at me past the rim of his glasses, sending a funny feeling in my stomach.

I finally gave a terse, "What?"

"You're allowed to ask me questions."

"I was just observing. That's all."

His toothless smile reached further up his face. "I've had a love for history since I was a child. Once the Great Collapse started to happen, I began collecting important books or copying them. You'll find most of the books in my office are all history books from before the collapse."

"What exactly are you writing?"

"An abstract version of the book. It helps to solidify the information in my memory and allows me to return the book when I'm done reading it. I think it important for the few libraries we have to keep as many books as possible. Perhaps it'll help society to avoid another Great Collapse."

I wanted to ask when he was born but the question fell silent as he began to write again. I pretended to read but my eyes frequently went back up to watch him. I wasn't used to seeing him so...calm? Still? Normal? The longer I looked, the more relaxed I grew. I noticed Alcine and Alastor's shadow staring at each other on the wall, neither moving very much at all. It wasn't an aggressive stance, as if they too were simply observing each other.

After some time and a few songs later, Alastor began to hum along to the radio. The sound made my ears perk up instantly. I ignored the words on my page as I focused solely on him. He reached up and hooked a red claw on his bowtie. He placed it on the table and let the tail hang off the edge. His eye caught me looking and I pretended to be looking around at his room instead.

I shifted in the chair and brought my foot up to slid it underneath my other leg. I leaned on the armchair and pretended to flip the page. Had our chairs always been this close? I could easily touch his sleeve if I wanted to, but my better judgement prevented that.

After the first two songs, I found myself quickly growing tired. My head began to nod forward as the words on the page began to blur. I was reading the same sentence over and over again. My back was hurting from sitting up for so long but I didn't want to leave. Not yet.

Eventually, I fell asleep completely. The book slide out of my hands and into my lap. My dream felt warm, soft, and safe. I could hear him humming still and it felt like a blanket was being draped over my body. A soft smile tugged at my lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

We've got a few sweet chapters ahead so if y'all have any ideas or requests, now would be a good time to send them ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@wendigonamecaller @saccharine-nectarine

[eeveebitches]

phone. || Roman Roy || smut

Pairing: Sub!Roman Roy x F!Dom!Reader Summary: You and roman talk over the phone, stuff happens along the way

Word count: 2.115

18+ only! More under the cut,

Warning(s): SMUT, aka 18+ only! Sub Roman, degradation, pillow humping, phone sex, implications of jealous/possesive roman

A/n: as DJ Khaled said, "another one."

_______________________

It's unusually dark in Roman's apartment.

You squint your eyes, looking around for any sign of him, hand busying itself to locate the light switch. "Romes?" There's no reply, and as you finally manage to switch the lights on you realize he isn't here. The shoes he usually keeps sprawled by the door are missing, as well as the scarf you had given him for his last birthday.

You shrug off your jacket and hang it, noticing how Roman's lighter jacket seems to be missing as well. Cautiously, you walk around the empty space. You take note of the way he left his cologne on the coffee table without its cover, and as you go to his bathroom you see his aftershave is uncrewed, too. He was clearly in a rush.

His bed is messy, as it always is when he's left to deal with tidying the sheets himself. You chuckle at the shirt of yours peaking out from under his pillow. It takes a lot of mental strength for you to not snap a picture for future teasing material, and instead kick your shoes off. 

His scent surrounds you as you nuzzle into his goose feather sheets. The scent is sharp, and woody, and clearly trying too hard to be noteworthy. But deep in those harsh, overpowering scents of desperation, you smell the chamomile from the 'calming room sprays' he always claims to be buying ironically. You also smell your own perfume, and with enough focus you can even smell hints of the vanilla of the soaps you use.

The sudden ringing of your phone startles you. You fumble a bit trying to remove your phone from your pocket, smiling as you realize it's the tiny devil himself calling.

"Romes?"

"Don't 'Romes' me, where in shit's name are you?" he immediately grumbles out, not giving you a second to trade simple formalities. 

You can't help but laugh at him. "And hello to you, too. What do you mean, 'where am I'? Where are you?"

He groans, then mumbles something far too incoherent for you to pick up over the phone. "Uh, at your fucking apartment? Did you seriously forget about me that fast? I'm seriously regretting hooking you up with that new job, since you're now apparently too cool for little ol' Romes." After a few seconds of processing his words, you frown. "Wait, what? You're at my apartment?" 

"Okay, yeah, you totally forgot, and I just embarrassed the fuck out of myself for breaking and entering. Nice knowing ya, I'm gonna go jump into a river or some shit," he mumbles underneath his breath. Even through the phone you can tell he's pacing around. "Can you even swim?"

He scoffs at that. "The fuck kinda question is that? You don't ask a guy about to take a cyanide pill if he's well versed in medicine, do you? Twisted bitch." Your frown deepens the more you listen to him. "Roman, we were supposed to meet at your apartment, you do remember that, right?"

It's completely silent on the other end of the line for a few seconds. Then, "Oh fuck off, you are not at my apartment right now. Just admit you forgot and let me go cry-jerk myself to sleep in your bed," he huffs out, trying to fight back the strain in his voice.

"Romes, I'm laying in your bed right now." He laughs at you, clearly doubtful, but as he quiets down you get the feeling he's starting to believe you.

With his phone tucked between his shoulder and his ear, Roman looks down at the pillow of yours he's holding. It's a long one, for your neck or something, and he relishes in how much it smells like you. "So what, we're at each other's apartments, laying in each other's beds, like total fucking idiots?"

You can't help but snort at that. "You're the idiot, since I'm at the right apartment. Also, way to go snitching on yourself. You better have removed your shoes before getting in my bed," you say, tugging at a bit of string connected to one of Roman's pillows.

"Yeah yeah, my shoes are off. I am gonna piss on all your furniture, just so you know. I need to mark my territory as the alpha and all that," he jokes, swiftly unzipping and shuffling out of his pants. "Oh, I'm also gonna sleep here because I can't be fucked to call someone to drive me back. Your bed is comfy as shit, anyway."

You let out a humored chuckle, quickly putting the phone down and removing the top layers of your work clothes to leave yourself comfortable. The sound of his voice is small, so after getting settled back in you grab the phone and place it right next to your head.

"Sorry, was getting comfy, what's up?" 

Roman lets out a low whistle. "So basically stripping naked? That's hot. You should take pictures of your boobs or something and send them to me," he says, his clutch on your pillow growing tighter as he continues, "we could have hot and heavy sex over the phone, like they did in the 60s when FaceTime and pocket pussies weren't a thing."

"I'm down if you are," you reply as casually as you can, despite the fact that the idea of it excites you. Roman seemingly chokes on his own spit at that, coughing for a few seconds. Ad he clears his throat, he awkwardly unbuttons his blouse as he keeps the phone flush against his ear.

"Oh yeah? What're you wearing, then?" he asks in a try-hard sultry voice. It's hard not to laugh at that, but you manage. "A 17-inch strap on with LED lights, what about you?" Roman lets out a forced moan in reply. "God, that's fuckin' hot. I'd see my insides glow all kinds of pretty colors and shit," he forcibly continues moaning out.

With his blouse fully unbuttoned he shuffles it off, ignoring the fact that he somehow is already getting riled up. Maybe it's the fact that he's surrounded by your presence, or maybe it's the fact that your voice is dangerously near your ear. 

Whatever it may be, it makes him move a shaky hand down to his length, applying a singular squeeze to himself and fighting back the hiss he wants to let out. "Seriously though, can you at least try to hide the fact you smell my shirts while you sleep? They're just sticking out," you chuckle out, tugging at the shirt you had previously spotted.

The silence on his end is oddly tense as you fully pull the shirt out, and you quickly realize why.

"Roman... do you actually cum on my clothes?"

He lets out a quiet 'fuck', keeping a solid hold of his cock through his underwear as he realizes he's been caught. "Shit, I-- yeah, I do, sometimes," he weakly stutters out. You tut at that, heat pooling in the bottom of your panties. "So, what, you jerk off sniffing it and thinking of me, or...?"

Roman's breathing slows, turning into weak pants that you can pick up on your end. "I, uh, yeah." A devious grin tugs at your lips as you shimmy yourself to a more comfortable laying position. 

"What do you think about?" It's a simple question, really, but the way Roman gasps through the phone makes it worthwhile. "I dunno, just-- fuck, things," he struggles to groan out as he rolls to lay on his side, the pillow he was clutching automatically slotting between his legs. 

His cock throbs with need, but something about using your pillow seems too much, even for him. Your shirts, and the occasional pair of underwear were one thing, but your bed felt so clean. Roman didn't want to be the one to make it-- make you dirty.

"Do you think about me touching you?" You hear him mumble out a small 'yeah' in response. You respond back with silence, quietly urging him to keep talking.

His clutch on your pillow tightens, knuckles turning white. "I think about you hugging me, 'cuz you always do when you see me," he whines out, as he continues fondling himself with his one hand while the other keeps its hold on the pillow. "You always, uh, squeeze? And you just smell really good, which is nice, I guess."

"Is that all?" You smile at the whine Roman lets out. "Whatever, I like other shit, too," he mumbles out, trying his hardest to practice restraint.

"What's 'other shit'? Like last week at that fundraiser in the closet, did you like that?" you coyly ask him. The drawn out moan he lets out at the memories is like musicto your ears. "Uh-huh," he weakly moans out, the muffled sound of fabric shuffling causing your mind to race with thoughts of what he's doing.

Roman's hips start a hiccup-y rhythm, attempting to grind into his own touch as he thinks of that night. You had toyed with him all night, dishing out casual yet flirty touches to whoever was there, shooting him a wicked grin any time he caught sight of it. When he had dragged you into a closet to try and stop your little show, you had demanded he went on his knees and apologized for his behavior.

By the end of it, Roman was a sweaty mess as he ground against your leg, trying desperately to keep quiet as you taunted him. Just thinking of how nasty you were to him that night, despite you gracefully letting him use you to get off, sends his head reeling as he gasps at his own touch.

You snicker at the desperate noises he's making. "Are you touching yourself Roman? In my bed of all places? You have no shame, do you?" 

"None," he whimpers out, pulling down his drawls to let his reddened and leaking cock spring out, smacking against his stomach. "Are you using your hand to get off? You sick, fucking puppy?" Roman groans out a quiet 'yes' as he carefully strokes himself at an unsteady rhythm. "I w'na use your pillow, can I-- fuck, can I please use y'r pillow?" He gasps out deliriously.

The shocked laughter you let out through the phone is genuine as you realize he's really into this. "Seriously? How fucking disgusting can you be, asking for my pillow? Was using my clothes to jerk off not enough for you, creep? Go ahead and use it if you're really that much of a degenerate."

He immediately places the pillow on the bed and goes to lay on his stomach, moaning as his dick makes contact with your pillow. He doesn't waste any time, immediately picking up in thrusting speed as he revels in the friction the pillow gives against his cock.

"Oh my god, you're actually doing it. Rutting into my pillow like a dog in heat, absolutely fucking revolting," you hiss against your phone, "y'know I have cameras in my room? I could easily send everyone you know the footage of you fucking my pillow like a flithy pervert. You'd like that, anyway, freak."

Roman's moans grow louder by the minute, every one of your poisonous words shooting straight to his cock. "Fuck, 'm close," he groans out, sweat rolling down his forehead as he desperately chases his release. "Are you seriously going to cum on my pillow, Roman? You're a genuine embarrasment, god."

His breath stutters before he lets out a gutteral moan, ropes of cum shooting onto your pillow and most definitely permanently staining it. "Jesus fuck, Roman, you're a legitimate freak," you giggle out through the phone as he slowly comes to, pants coming out muffled as he buries his head into the unused pillows. 

"What the fuck, man," he groans out, phone still held against his ear. You let out a chuckle, glancing at the time on your phone and realizing it's gotten quite late. "You doing okay, Romes?"

He lets out muffled noises of confirmation. "Yeah, just fuckin' tired now. Thanks for the, uh, phone sex. It was great." 

"Go clean yourself up, Romes. And just put the pillow somewhere in my bathroom, I'll take care of it." He lets out a small whine, awkwardly tucking himself back into his underwear before shuffling to your bathroom. "You're legit going to be the reason I die an early death. I'm gonna fucking, cum my brains out or some shit," he mumbles out as he drops the used pillow on the ground, grabs some wipes and cleans himself up a bit. 

"Sounds like a great way to go out," you hum out in reply.

"Of course you'd think that."

[hbyrde36]

Caught in the Undertow

Chapter Five

WC: 4574 | R: Explicit | TW: Suicidal ideation/depression | Ch 5/10 | AO3

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 <-

~Eddie~

There may actually be something to this whole talking about it thing, Eddie thought as he leaned against the wood siding of Steve’s house, pulling smoke into his lungs from the first cigarette he’d had in days as he gazed out over the covered pool and at the trees beyond.

He felt… lighter somehow. 

Not like all the bad stuff inside him was gone exactly, but more like he wasn’t carrying it alone anymore. 

He’d played with fire earlier though, coming out to Steve like that. A bit of self destructive tendencies come back to rear their ugly head for a moment, he supposed. Or maybe, once you’ve opened yourself up to someone, told them you think about dying on a semi-regular basis, telling them you like to suck cock wasn’t that big a deal.

And Steve had been… kind, accepting.

Perfect. 

Eddie flicked a bit of ash off the end of his cigarette as the glass door to his left slid open, and Steve stepped out onto the patio. He joined Eddie wordlessly, taking up a post right next to him, propped up against the house, close enough to bump their shoulders together. 

Eddie’s stomach did a little flip at the touch, the skin under his sleeve growing hot.

The thing about finally snapping out of it, about feeling better, was that now he could feel everything again. Those flutters he’d had all through that week in March whenever Steve’s eyes met his, or his hands reached out to offer a reassuring touch. Whenever Eddie swayed into his space and Steve didn’t move away.  

Yeah.

Those butterflies had reawakened the moment Steve burst into his room all pent up and pissed off this morning, and taken flight with a vengeance when Steve had let him take care of him, let Eddie cradle him in his lap while he worked through the worst of his migraine.

Ah well. 

It wouldn't be his first crush on an unattainable straight guy, and it probably wouldn’t be his last. He’d get over it. He wouldn’t subject anyone to a… relationship with someone like him anyway, least of all Steve. 

Eddie slipped the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, half-heartedly holding it out to the other boy in offering, surprised when Steve dipped his head in thanks and took it.

“Didn’t know you smoked,” Eddie said, the white smoke coming off the end of his own still burning cigarette curling around them as it bobbed between his lips.

Steve shrugged, tapping one out of the pack with a practiced hand. “I don’t much anymore.”

Passing over his lighter, Eddie raised a questioning brow.

“Robin hates it, but I still sneak one every once in a while when she’s not around.” Steve flicked the little wheel half a dozen times but the lighter refused to catch.

Eddie patted his jacket pockets, sure that he had another stashed somewhere, but froze as Steve leaned in close.

“Do you mind if I…?” Steve said softly around the unlit cigarette still hanging from his mouth, reaching out to steady himself with a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. 

Eddie stopped breathing. 

They stared into each other’s eyes, faces only inches apart as Steve touched the tip of his own smoke to the still burning cherry on the end of Eddie’s. The flare of light when Steve inhaled to make it catch illuminated his face like candlelight, making his captivating hazel eyes even prettier somehow. 

It was Eddie who moved back first. Who broke the stare and the moment, his heart thumping so loudly against the walls of his chest that if he didn’t Steve might hear, and know it was beating for him. 

He leaned back against the side of the house and resumed staring out into the darkening sky as dusk turned to night, and tried to regain his composure. 

Steve cleared his throat, mirroring Eddie’s position in turn, his attention back on their shared view. 

“Must be nice out here in the summer. I bet the gremlins bug you to use the pool all the time,” Eddie said after a while. 

“They’ve asked, but, uh...” Steve reached up to rub at the back of his neck. “I haven’t opened it since ‘83.”

It took Eddie a second to remember why that year held such significance. When he did he still couldn’t fathom the connection between Steve’s pool and Will’s disappearance into the Upside Down, but surely it wasn’t good. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to like,” Eddie waved his hand vaguely in the direction of the pool, waffling as he pinched the last little stub of his cigarette between his fingers to snuff it out. “I didn’t know.”

“No, man. It’s—it’s okay. I hadn’t thought about it, but there's probably so much you don’t know still.”

“Only the basics. There wasn’t time for Dustin to really fill me in before, and it’s not like I’ve given him much of a chance since.”

Steve hummed in acknowledgment, but was quiet for long enough that Eddie wasn’t sure if he was done talking for the night, or if Steve was simply working up to it. Either way he wouldn’t push, letting a companionable silence settle between them.

“Barb Holland.”

The two words rang out like a bell in the quiet air, deep and affecting. Steve paused to take a long drag from his cigarette, blowing out a thick plume of smoke with his head tossed back.  “She was Nancy’s best friend. They were here one night, after Will… I think a day or two after he went missing? I was—” He squatted down to crush his own cigarette out on the concrete, rubbing at his face as he straightened back up. “God I was so far up my own ass, I don't even know. And of course I was more worried about hooking up with Nancy than what might be out here stalking that poor girl. Demogorgon got her. I didn’t find out till later, but she was pulled through a gate in the pool, and killed on the other side.”

“Shit, Steve.”

Steve gave a little shrug as if to say, it is what it is. “I failed her and Nancy that day, and I've been… trying to make up for it ever since.”

“You were just a kid. You couldn’t have known what was coming for her.”

“I guess not, but that doesn’t make me feel any less haunted by it.”

Eddie shivered, the short hairs on the back of his neck standing up. He felt the same way about Chrissy, sure that it would be much worse if he’d had to go back and live in the same trailer where she died.

“Why did you stay here?”

“I could have left after graduation. Not for college, I never even sent in my application, but my dad took early retirement, and my parents moved to their summer home full time. They wanted me to go with them, but—” 

Steve bowed his head, shaking it. “Everyone was convinced it was over. El closed this gate at the lab, and they got whatever was infecting Will out of him, but I—I couldn’t shake the feeling that it might come back, and I’d be miles away and Dustin would for sure get right in the middle of it and get himself hurt or worse.”

“And you were right.”

“Unfortunately,” Steve breathed.

Eddie ached for him all over again, for the weight of the world he seemed determined to carry.

“I hate this house,” Steve went on. “This whole town really. I’d leave it in a heartbeat if I could.”

“Well it really is over this time, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think it finally is.” 

-

The bike beneath Eddie creaked as he pedaled, going as fast as he could, his thighs and calves screaming that they weren’t made for this, but he had to get the bats away.

Every time he looked back the advancing flock were closer and closer. He was so tired, and absolutely fucking terrified, but none of that mattered now. 

He had to keep everyone else safe.

The trailer was lost from sight when the bats finally caught up, knocking him from the bike, and making him eat shit. He could only hope he’d lured them far enough. 

Eddie picked himself up, feeling a bit like he was in a horror movie as he turned slowly, wielding his spear and shield to face the hoard, but the sight that greeted him was far worse than any number of flying monsters.

Because it was Dustin, doing his best to run with a pronounced limp. 

It didn’t make any sense. How did he even make it out here so fast? Little shit was going to get himself killed.

“What are you doing, Henderson?!” Eddie hissed, swinging his shield to knock away one of the demobats as it tried to dive bomb them.

“Never split the party!” Dustin shouted, positioning himself behind Eddie so they were back to back, slowly rotating with the swirling cloud of beasts that flew around them. 

Eddie didn’t point out the obvious—that they already had split the party, several times in fact, before this moment and Dustin hadn’t had a problem with that.

And now he was gonna…

Eddie swallowed hard past the lump in his throat. It was hopeless, but he’d do whatever he could to keep that from happening.  

They fought tooth and nail, watching each other's backs as they speared, kicked, punched, and dodged, but there were simply too many of the vicious creatures. 

Then Dustin’s spear broke.

Eddie spun suddenly, curling his body around the younger boy’s, holding his shield up behind Dustin to try and cover him completely. He held strong through the force of the impacts as one-by-one bats slammed into his back… until one of their tails wrapped itself around Eddie’s neck from behind, ripping him away, and dragging him to the ground where a number of its brethren descended on him at once.

Through the searing pain of being eaten alive, Eddie still fought, still tried to shake the creatures off and get to Dustin, but his arms were pinned to his sides. 

Over the cacophony of screeches and squawks Eddie heard Dustin scream—wordless, high pitched, blood curdling, before something hit the ground hard with a heavy thump at his side.

And the screaming stopped.

Eddie shouted Dustin’s name over and over, but heard nothing in return. He turned to look as soon as he could, finally able to as the bat that had been feeding on his cheek moved away to search out the meatier flesh of his chest, and wished he hadn’t.

The boy’s face was a bloody mask, his unblinking eyes—wide and lifeless. His mouth didn’t move, could not move any longer, but still a voice began calling Eddie’s name. It didn’t sound like Dustin either, it sounded like…

“Eddie? Eddie? Can you hear me?” 

Steve.

Eddie woke with a gasp to someone gently shaking him as they hovered. To Steve looking down at him, his mouth pinched with worry.

One of Steve’s hands left Eddie’s shoulder to cup his cheek. “It was just a nightmare. You’re okay, I’ve got you. Dustin is fine, everyone is fine.” He spoke so softly, as though he were addressing a frightened wild animal, which in fairness wasn’t too far off. 

Eddie could do nothing but stare at first, still dazed and a little breathless from the absolute nightmare his dream had been, and maybe a little more so for the way Steve was touching him, warm and gentle, but eventually he managed to nod.

Steve gave him a small, sad smile and started to pull away. And before he could stop it, before he could consider what a terrible idea it was, Eddie reached out, gripping tightly onto the hem of Steve’s t-shirt. 

“Stay?” Eddie choked out. He felt like a pathetic baby even asking, but the image of Dustin laying bloody and broken was too fresh, and though it had only been a dream, the very real tears he’d cried in his sleep were still drying on his face, his fresh scars throbbing with the renewed memory of so many tails and teeth. “Just for a little while… please?” 

Steve bit his lip, something unreadable flickering across his face for a second, or maybe it was a trick of the shadows, as he whispered, “scoot over.” 

Forcing himself to let go, Eddie shuffled backwards on his side, raising the covers while Steve slid under, facing him. 

Eddie itched to bury himself in Steve's neck, his chest—to be wrapped up in the safety of his arms, but he was acutely aware of the fact that he'd come out to Steve only a handful of hours ago. So he kept a polite distance, still grateful for the simple comfort of not being alone.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Steve asked, snuggling down into the spare pillow.

“Not really. It was—” Eddie exhaled deeply. Awful? Terrible? Horrifying? None of the words that came to mind were enough. 

Somehow Steve's hand found his under the covers, resting between their bodies, their fingers lacing together automatically. 

“I know.”

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on the feel of Steve’s hand in his instead of the pain of what he’d seen. “How do you deal with it?” 

“I wish I had better advice to offer but I don't think there's much you can do but just get through it.”

“Lovely.” Eddie grumbled, but knew he was lucky the nightmares hadn’t found him till now. He’d barely been sleeping as it was, and when he did he was usually in a blackout, before he came to Steve’s at least. Now he couldn't help wondering if he was in for the same thing he’d heard Steve go through night after night.  

Steve let out a breathy laugh, rubbing his thumb along the back of Eddie’s hand. “Sorry. You just gotta try and go back to sleep when you can, and on the nights when you can’t, find ways to distract yourself.”

Eddie could think of some things he’d like to do to distract himself right now. A few sure fire ways to shut his brain off, and all of it far more pleasurable than laying here and trying to go fall asleep again, but that was too dangerous a line of thought to follow.

It wasn’t long before Steve’s eyes fell shut, his body relaxing, and his breath evening out. Surprisingly, Eddie found himself following close behind, his own eyelids growing heavy as he watched the wrinkles in Steve’s forehead smooth out, their hands still clasped firmly together when he finally drifted off.

-

Over the next week, he and Steve developed a loose routine of sorts. 

They made breakfast together in the mornings, which really only consisted of Eddie making toast, with butter this time—elevated cuisine—and Steve brewing a pot of coffee on his overly complicated machine that Eddie refused to even touch, before separating for the day. 

As he continued to work on reclaiming himself, Eddie still spent a lot of time hiding away in his borrowed room with his book and his music, and a notepad Steve dug up for him from the bottom of a kitchen drawer. 

He started writing again. 

Struck with inspiration for a new campaign he began taking copious notes, smiling at the idea that he might actually be able to run a game again one day soon. Something that would go a long way towards making up for lost time with so many of the friends he’d been neglecting lately.

When bits of lyric popped into his head he wrote those down too, humming simple tunes he hoped he’d remember later when he actually had a guitar handy to strum them on, his fingers itching to play for the first time since the Upside Down. And tried very hard not to think about the fact that they all sounded a little more like love songs than anything he typically played with the boys in Corroded Coffin. 

Eddie didn’t really know what Steve did with his days, besides talking to Robin on the phone, occasionally checking on him, and cleaning compulsively from the sounds of it, as though someone might show up at any time and expect a spotless house. 

Sometimes he got in his head about it, wondering if Steve was annoyed at being stuck here babysitting. If he was bored. If he’d get tired of waiting for Eddie to be normal and resent him for holding him back. But when Eddie came downstairs each day around five or six to call his uncle, Steve lit up, looking so genuinely happy to see him that Eddie was forced to remember and believe that Steve wanted him here, wanted to help him heal and find some kind of peace. 

By some miracle, it even seemed to be working.

While Steve put their dinner together Eddie would sit on the kitchen floor, curling the cord around his finger as he spoke to Wayne on the phone, the two of them catching up before the older man went to work for the night. There were other phones in the house he could have used, even ones that offered a comfy seat and more privacy, but none that had as nice a view of Steve’s luscious backside.

Honestly it was one of Eddie’s favorite parts of the day.

After dinner though, that was when they actually spent time together, and Eddie discovered what a dork Steve truly was, and how much he liked being around him.

They’d sit and talk while watching movies mostly, or on one memorable night a baseball game, of all things, an activity Eddie never thought he could find enjoyment in, and if Wayne ever found out he’d done so voluntarily, he’d never live it down. While Eddie still didn’t exactly see the appeal of sports in general, he could appreciate the fit of their uniforms, and seeing Steve smile so much and slap his thigh whenever something good happened wasn’t half bad either. No matter what they were doing Steve's presence never failed to leave him feeling warm, like sitting in the sun, and it was impossible not to bask in it a little.

All in all, It was easy enough for Eddie to be normal about his unfortunate crush during the day, but—

Okay, maybe he wasn’t being super normal about it, but he was at least managing to hide the worst of it from Steve, he was pretty sure anyway, but at night things were… a little more difficult. 

Night after night like clockwork Eddie woke in near hysterics.

Sometimes it was him and Chrissy standing in the trailer, where he’d try in vain to wake her, and have no choice but to stand by and witness her body breaking to pieces right in front of him all over again. 

Or it was Steve, getting strangled to death by demobats after being pulled into the depths of Lover’s Lake. He, Robin, and Nancy following behind far too late to save him. 

But more often than not it was his own gruesome near death experience he was made to relive, alone or with Dustin dying by his side. Those were always the worst. 

And every night, without fail, Steve was there when Eddie lurched awake, crying and gasping. There to soothe away the pain and heartache, touching Eddie’s face and hair with gentle hands, uttering soft sweet words, and each time, like the first time, Eddie asked him to stay, and Steve would simply say, “scoot over.”

The nightmares never came back once Steve was with him.

And in the morning, no matter how tangled together they were when they woke, they separated without a word and went about their days as normal. 

And it was fine. 

It wasn’t complete fucking torture or anything. 

-

It continued to be fine until one morning Steve came downstairs in jeans—obscenely tight jeans, not that Eddie noticed—and a polo shirt. The first time either of them had put real clothes on since the ill-fated party. 

Maybe he was expecting someone?

Eddie wasn’t sure how Steve had managed to keep the kids and everyone else away for this long, but he was grateful for the time to get his shit together within their private little bubble while it lasted. “Who’re you all dressed up for?” He asked.

Steve held up a grocery list scrawled on a notepad in answer, smaller than the one stashed under the bed in Eddie’s room—

Not his room, though, he had to remind himself. Steve's guest room. He had to stop thinking of it as though this living arrangement were a permanent one. Had to remember the reason he was here in the first place—because Steve and Wayne were afraid he might hurt himself. He wasn’t bitter about that fact anymore, really he wasn’t, but he was feeling pretty good now, and maybe it was time to start acting like it. 

Eddie hadn't forgotten Hopper’s warning to avoid public places, but the grocery store in the middle of the day on a random Tuesday hardly seemed like a risk.

“Can I come?” He asked.

-

Eddie pushed the cart, following behind Steve like a lost puppy, providing minimal commentary while he shopped. It was nice, in a way, to be out and about, but he also felt a little jittery about being so exposed, and was grateful for something to do with his hands. 

It was impossible not to notice the lingering stares and whispers being thrown in his direction from the other customers, as few and far between as they were, but he was determined not to let it bother him.

Steve had seen it too, making sure to never get too far ahead, and more than once Eddie saw him staring daggers back at some old lady until she was forced to look away with a huff. 

Just as Eddie was starting to relax, knowing they were in the home stretch and might actually get out of the store without incident, they rounded a corner and came across a boy wearing a familiar green and white letterman jacket.

It was Andy, because of course it was, and he wasted no time getting right in Eddie’s face, spitting with each hate filled word he spewed. “Who let you out of the house, Munson? You should be locked up, I don’t care what the police said. You’re a fucking murderer.”

Before Eddie could even react Steve was there shoving Andy away from him. The other boy stumbled back into a chip display, sending a dozen or more bags falling to the ground, a few crunching underneath him as he regained his footing. 

“Back off man, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Steve snarled.

Andy recovered quickly and pushed into Steve’s space next, puffing up, and trying without success to loom over him. “Harrington, I knew you’d changed, but you’re hanging out with freaks like him now?”

A sound not unlike a growl came crawling out of Steve’s throat, making Andy take a step back. It looked involuntary, and Eddie wondered if he even realized he’d done it. He was tempted to let the scene play out, but, as hot as it would be to see Steve beat the ever loving shit out of someone like Andy—someone who’d hurt a little girl while following the orders of his deranged leader—Eddie knew he had to stop this before someone called Hopper. He wasn’t really in the mood for a lecture today. 

Eddie reached out, wrapping a hand around Steve’s bicep, gently holding him back. “Forget him, Steve. He’s not worth it. Let’s just go, okay?”

For a split second Steve tensed at the touch, then leaned into it, shaking himself. “Yeah, okay.”

Thankfully Andy seemed to understand that he’d gotten lucky, not so brave when his opponent was the same size as him, and let them pass with nothing further than a few more dirty looks.

Steve stuck close to Eddie’s side, guiding them right to the checkout though Eddie was sure there were a few more things on his list, but he certainly wasn’t going to argue. He was ready to get out of there, and go back into hiding for the day. 

They drove back to the house in an awkward silence that continued on even as they pulled into the driveway and carried all the bags into the kitchen, neither of them quite knowing what to say. Eddie knew better than to think Steve was mad at him, and maybe going along had been a bad idea but it could have been worse. He was actually feeling remarkably calm about the whole thing now that it was over, except for the fact that Steve kept sneaking these long glances at him whenever he thought he wasn’t looking.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Eddie mumbled as he started to unpack the groceries, unable to ignore it any longer. 

Steve’s cheeks went pink. “Sorry,” he breathed, shaking his head at himself as he reached for one of the bags, taking out the milk and butter, and putting them away in the fridge.

“Hey,” Eddie said softly, ducking his head to catch Steve’s eye as he turned back around. “I'm okay, I promise. I'm not gonna go off the deep end or whatever you're worried about, ok? Screw that asshole and everyone who agrees with him. We know the truth, and that’s all that matters.” 

He wasn’t sure he wholeheartedly believed that yet, but he was trying.

“Sorry. You’re right,” Steve sighed. “You did great. I'm the one who lost it. I just—I hate that anyone thinks that way about you.” He dragged his feet as he crossed back to the counter, rifling through another of the bags. 

“Steve–” Eddie bit his lip, something like panic swelling in his chest even as his stomach did somersaults over Steve’s words. “Why… and I swear I'm not being a dick this time, but—why are you doing all this for me?”

Maybe Steve really was just that good of a friend, that caring of a person. Eddie could believe that—did believe that, by this point. But, no one had ever looked at him the way Steve looked at him, and all of it was becoming too much to ignore. Too many late night rescues and soft voices in the dark. Too many mornings of waking up on the same pillow, arms and legs wound so tightly together, as though their separate bodies were trying to become one while they slept. 

And now, ready to fight some dickhead in the middle of Kroger in broad daylight to defend his honor.

Eddie was scared to death of the answer to his question but he had to know, even if the answer might have the power to destroy him, no matter what it was.

“Eddie…” Steve’s face crumpled, like it broke his heart that Eddie had even asked the question. But there was something else too, something peeking out from behind his eyes, that thing Eddie couldn’t bring himself to admit was real, that he hoped wasn’t real because, that would be a very different kind of torture. Cruel and unusual punishment from the universe.

“I care because it’s you. Because you’re one of us. Because you’re my friend. Because…” Steve took two steps forward, standing so close that the toes of their sneakers were touching as he gently took the can of Spaghettios out of Eddie’s hand, and put it back down on the counter.

Eddie couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move—wouldn’t have wanted to if he could, but also he did kind of want to run from the room screaming. Kind of wanted to take the question back and resume pretending. Put his head firmly back in the sand.

“Because…” Steve’s eyes flicked down to Eddie’s mouth, completely unaware of the war raging in his head, before stepping impossibly closer, bringing their bodies flush as he pressed Eddie back into the countertop, and slotted their lips together.

Chapter 6 (Coming as soon as I finish up my Steddie big bang!)

Thanks and love to @penny00dreadful and @pearynice for all your help and encouragement with this.

Permanent taglist(open): @penny00dreadful @pearynice @hitlikehammers @bookworm0690 @wonderland-girl143-blog 

@goodolefashionedloverboi @themagicalari @awkwardgravity1 @rocknrollsalad

[kadeeesworld]

War of hearts

Chapter 1: MIA

I just wanna say I don’t much like this maybe it’s because it the first chapter or whatever who cares it’s proofread but not really enjoy!

Also it’s my first time writing for COD and I know some people are much better at writing their accents but I’m so American it’s painful so stick with me here!

Okay and trigger warning I suppose: mentions of drugs, and abuse, mentions of a gun and kidnapping, child abuse and rape.

the task force was in the middle of a briefing Laswell breaking down the facts for them as everyone got a vanilla envelope.

“She’s a 16 year old girl highly trained and she’s escaped”

“Escaped? Escaped from where?”

John spoke up his brows furrowing as he took in the little bit of Information they had of the girl.

“A top secret facility buried deep in Russia, they kidnap young girls and boys train them into killing machines and send them out onto battlefields with our soldiers just to have them killed.”

Gaz looked around the table.

“How’s she only 16 though—“

“She was taken at 10 actually from the states right out of her front yard.”

Ghost flips the folder closed and tossed it to the middle of the table

“Bloody fucking ‘el as if we don’t have enough going on now little brats are being snatched?”

“She’s not a brat anymore, shes dangerous and she’s trained almost as well as you guys be careful.”

“She’s just a girl how hard could it be?”

The team suits up and gets ready to get on a flight to the states it was going to be a long 8 hours.

“Remember lads this isn’t a vacation this is a mission treat it as such, we get in we get this girl and we bring er’ home.”

“What if she doesn’t wanna go?”

“She doesn’t have a choice.”

A few days pass.

“Who’d ave thought that finding one bird would be this hard we haven’t heard or seen anything.”

“Speak for yourself mate I’ve heard about this underground club where the company is exceptionally young, think our girl could be there?”

“Wouldn’t doubt it Kate did say she was only 16 and we haven’t found her yet it might be worth a shot.”

After a 45 minute drive to a part of town that seems all to sketchy they walk down into an alleyway and bang on the door the eye hole slides open and a man with a nasty scar over his face peeks through and then open the door and the file in.

Once inside it looks just like a normal club expect for the fact that only girls younger than 19 are the ones on poles and serving drinks it’s disgusting and quite frankly sad.

“This is beyond fucked up.”

“I know lad but it’s part of the job, let’s look around for our girl yeah?”

They break off and find places to sit they make conversation and eavesdrop on discussions all for it to amount to the owner has some of his specialty girls in the back they cost pretty penny though.

With a nod to the others price heads off to the shiny leather door and the back and knocks on it another eye hole opens

“The fuck do you want?”

“We’re er’ about uh your specialty girls.”

The man smiles it’s sick makes your skin crawl.

“Of course gentlemen,” he opens the door wide for them, “right this way.”

They all file in and sit down on a plush leather couch the girls scattered about the room and each of them takes them in

“Aren’t they beauties? I paid good money for them these are the youngest ones I have…”

John speaks up

“Have you got anybody new…maybe someone you’ve got recently I’d prefer…well we’d prefer someone fresh if you don’t mind.”

The man’s face lights up

“Oh of course of course only the finest! For my new guests and you can call me jimmy by the way.”

He holds out his hand to John and John shakes it with a faux smile.

“Price.”

“Right, I’ll be right back.”

Jimmy steps away and walks further into the back room coming back with a girl her hair was matted and he body covered in dark bruises some lighter and in different stages of healing and on her arms multiple needle marks her veins are definitely shot, the icing on the cake though was the way she seemed completely out of it her eyes glazed over looking off into space the looked so hollow…so empty.

“This is the latest that we have, picked her up a while ago I just saw her walking the streets it’s was late one night and I just knew I had to have her. I had to know what she smelled like, what she tasted like and let me say she didn’t disappoint.”

He pulled her down onto the couch by her arm and into his chest petting the back of her head and cooing at her.

The boys looking at her could tell this is the girl they’d been looking for but she certainly wasn’t the trained girl Laswell had spoken of…

Jimmy got up and walked around the large glass table and sat her down on prices Lap.

“She’s good right? You like her, all of you?”

Price looked into her face and a just for a moment sympathy and pain was etched into his face and his eyes told everything he couldn’t say in that moment ‘I’m sorry this is happening to you’

Price turned his head back to Jimmy

“She’s perfect…”

“Great! Now it’s 10 an hour!”

Soap looked almost surprised.

“Dollars?”

Jimmy spoke up with a joker like grin.

“No mohawk man, grand!”

John spoke up again before anybody could make a fool out of themselves.

“That’s fine we’ll take er…”

“Yes, she’s new hasn’t been with anybody but me yet she’s still fresh now if you’d like I could bring you another girl that would drop you down to about 5 grand an hour.”

Jimmy spoke as if they were conducting to most regular business transaction in the world he spoke as if he didn’t just bring out a 17 year old girl to four grown men knowing that if these weren’t good men she’d probably be getting fucked and all other manner of things.

“I don’t think so mate.”

“Mate? Well aren’t you funny sounding, where’d you say you’re from again you don’t sound American…”

“We didn’t say…”

“Right of course…”

Jimmy looked as if he’d just seen a ghost and deep down it’s almost as if he knew he was caught and it was only a matter of time—-

Jimmy hopped up flipping the table towards them and making a run for the leather door they had just come in soap being the closest hopped up after him tackling him to the ground they got what they came for na snow it was time to call it in and get authorities and ambulance here to help the girls.

While gaz and Simon did crowd control of the rest of the club ensuring nobody got away so they would be able the face what they’re down the way they deserve John sat with the girl in his lap he’d wrapped her up in a blanket and he held her.

“You know lovie we don’t even know your name…you didn’t have one on file it was almost as if you’d been completely erased from existence…even when we looked back to when you were taken and reported missing, nothing. It’s almost as if someone wanted to hide you away from the world forever.”

Simon tapped on the door

“Ey’ cap the coppers and medics are here, let’s get her situated yeah?”

Price looked back down at her and sighed

“Yeah.”

About a week passed and finally she’d woken up came out her drugged state and she was clear now the boys didn’t know what that would mean for them but for now all anyone else was worried about was the fact that she wouldn’t eat or drink anything she’s just lay there…

“I really am worried about her gentlemen, she hasn’t spoken a word or eaten a thing she’s losing what little weight she had and she keeps muttering something I can’t understand. I don’t know what’s going on or what was happening to all those girls in there but if this keeps up we’ll have to sedate her and push a tube down her throat to make sure she doesn’t die.”

Well that wasn’t fucking good.

“We’ll see about er’ ma’am thanks for the report.”

“Sure thing.”

The nurse walks back behind her station and the boys face her hospital room and walk in there’s one of the standing table trays over her legs a plate of food on top completely untouched and she eyed them when they walked In like predator does prey once they’ve decided you’re who they want for dinner.

“Hey there…heard you weren’t eating a thing lovie…why’s that?”

Silence.

John just smiled at her and tried again.

“I know it’s shit bird but you’ve got to eat somethin it’s not healthy for you to starve like this, we need you healthy so we can take you back—“

Before he could even finish she up holding her fork to his eye trying To push in further down she’s is pretty strong but without eating for days price easily overpowered her pinning her down to the bed and she lost it. Screaming. Yelling. Kicking and scratching. The nurses rushed in and sedated her and slowly she calmed down her hands gripping onto John shirt before she fell unconscious.

It was hours later when she had woken up and her room was empty she sat up and threw the covers off of her sitting for a moment to gather herself before pushing off the bed and walking over to her window there was a single nurse behind the station and the men seem to have gone.

She quickly slipped out of her room and down a hall but before she could turn a corner soap and gas were standing in front of the vending machine staring at her and she right back at them. Nothing was said she just bolted and had and soap were hot on her tail yelling after her, she cut corners and pushed people down and out of the way to put distance between them and finally she caught a break and slipped under a sheet what was on a gurney after a moment or two she heard them run past but she kept still after a moment or two the gurney started to move and when it finally stopped she was in the basement morgue the room was empty safe for a few black body bags.

She got up off the gurney and started looking around for anything she could use to help her get out of there after a bit of searching she found a clear bag with a name on it something she couldn’t quite understand and inside was a gray hoodie and back jeans and a dirty pair of sneakers a wallet, a bus card and a photo of people she didn’t know must be the family of the deceased.

The hoodie had blood splatters and the so did the sneakers but clothes were clothes and this isn’t fashion week. She found a rag and wet it scrubbing the blood off best she could as to not stand out she didn’t need anyone stopping her asking if she was okay she just needed to get away from the hospital but first she needed a weapon.

She used the stairs to get back on the patient floor looking for anything when she was passing a room she overheard a doctor talking about a patient needing sedation in a nearby room and telling a nurse to get everything ready she watched the nurse ready the tray and take it into room setting it down before she left again to go get gloves with quick precision she slipped into the room grabbing the syringe and getting out after roaming the halls for a bit longer she found exactly what she was looking for. Security and because this is America of course he had a gun.

She backed into a room finding a medical waste bin and sticking her hand in to cover it in blood making sure to not wet her sleeve before pulling it back down and walking out she started up the the harsh hospital lights until her eyes started to burn and water then she walked over to the guard.

“Sir could you help me please my friend she’s a patient here and she passed out in the bathroom I think she hit her head she’s bleeding!”

She pulled him into the nearby women’s bathroom and once he rushed down to the other end with his back turned she stabbed the syringe into his neck pushing all the milky liquid into him before snatching it back out and watching him fall helplessly to the ground once his eyes shut she reached his body grabbing his gun and slipping it into the back of her pants before grabbing his wallet and taking out over $50 bucks shoving it into her pocket before heading back down to the basement it would be the easiest way to get onto the street without walking back through the entire hospital and risk being caught.

Once she got out, an open exit though the ambulance bay she stepped onto the just New York street finally breathing some fresh air but that didn’t last long before she knew it she heard a familiar British accent her eyes snapped open and there they were running after her, she ran right through the oncoming traffic dodging cars and running the sidewalk till she came across a lone man about to get out of his car she pulled the gun from her pants and pointed it at him.

“Woah! Lady what the fuck!”

“Give me your fucking keys and your wallet right now!”

The man tossed his keys and his wallet her feet and move she picked them up she hit him with the butt of her gun and sped off. Once price and the others finally caught up all they saw was her burning rubber hitting a corner and a man with his forehead split open.

“Clever girl she is…”

“Bloody fucking fast too, I don’t even run like that in PT!”

Gas grunted before hunching over his hands on his knees trying to clam his breathing.

“I guess Laswell was tellin nae lies bout’ the bonnie lass she’s quick.”

“Lots of stamina still for someone who wasn’t eaten in days she must be starving by now.”

“She is, that’s where she’ll head next.”

After some terrible driving and almost killing two civilians she finally parks the stolen car in an alleyway two blocks away from a Waffle House and she gets out she finds another parked car by the side of the road and steals the tag off it and switching them out before heading to eat she was in fact starving so much so it hurt.

Once she got in she seated herself and a waitress brought her a menu. She smiled so sweetly down at her.

“Do you have any idea what you might want?”

“What can fifty bucks buy me?”

“Oh! Well…”

A pile of plates later, and the cook and waitress watching her eat like an animal with her hands she had finished wiping off her face with her sleeve and wiping her hands on her pants and left the bill on the table and walked out, she walked the two blocks back to her stolen car and slid into the back laying down on the seat.

The rain came down hard hitting the roof of the car like pellets it kept her up she couldn’t sleep she just looked out of the window watching the raindrops race and how the city lights shined through as of giver her, her own private show of color.

The solitude though was short lived and she was napped out of her trance by a knock at the window it’s them.

“Alright now lovie that’s enough running for now right? You come with us you won’t have to sleep in a cold car tonight.”

Soap pushed past pulling the door open.

“Ye know for someone whose name we don even know you’ve given us hell since we’ve gotten ye!”