#johan x y/n

[riewritten]

TWO FACED MONSTER

JOHAN LIEBERT x GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

WORDS: 300

TAGS: identity theft, manipulation, obsessive tendencies

The moonlight peeking through the apartment window panes augments the serene beauty of your roommate, who has been watching you sleep for as long as he can remember. It’s a newfound hobby, perhaps, as he doesn’t get the chance to look at you this close when he’s neither wearing a wig nor embracing Anna’s femininity, which then allows him to break down your walls.

You had a bad day today, and even though Johan barely listened, it paved the way for him to suggest sleeping beside you under the guise of making you feel better. You give him a look of appreciation and then nod meekly as you shyly admit that it would indeed make you feel better.

It’s always been like that for Johan—or Anna, as you call him.

He took time washing up—or so he reasoned out—so he could spend his beauty moment at the bathroom concealing his jawline that he deems masculine, doubling up his silicon pads in case a circumstance comes where you'd hug him and snuggle on his chest, and refilling his wig adhesive because, for the longest time he had watched you during nighttime, he saw how fidgety you were while asleep. He doesn’t mind that, really, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

As you tuck yourself into bed, Johan is done internalizing Anna’s psyche. Anna then lies down and hoists your hair up to your head’s crown, sending tickles. The squeak you let out made Anna chuckle.

While telling him all sorts of stories, you giggle midway, feeling a lot like a teenager at their first pajama party with best friends. Anna assures you amicably, “I’m willing to do this as much as you want if it’d make you feel better.”

“Oh please no. Once I get a partner, they’d be so jealous of you.”

She hums, almost a whisper, tiptoeing so she could sound perfectly comforting, “Then you might as well not find anyone other than me.”

You roll your eyes and joke back, “Mm’kay, your wish is my command.”

Little do you know, he’s not in any way joking around. Perhaps this fleeting tranquility and the moonlight doing their wonders to help lower your guard at his presence is none but a measly reparation for the damage he’d inflict on your heart once you realize his tomfooleries.

Nonetheless, it doesn’t matter to him that you only favor his physique as a woman. He wouldn't mind if you could only look at him fondly if he were called Anna. After all, he’s Anna and Anna is him. And names are not important. And sooner or later, no one in this world would know you by your name anymore. Once you're awakened from the fact that Anna is a two-faced monster fooling you, you’d have nobody else besides him, no one to call you by your name but him. By then, much to his anticipation, as the scenery of the doomsday comes, you would have no choice but let him engulf you.

continuation of the drabble inspired by @/504PY's art >w<

if you like this then consider giving oil well fires a read :D it's almost the same as this but... longer. lol

[sophora2025]

Johan x Clingy Reader headcanons

The Intrigue of Touch

• Johan isn’t someone used to frequent physical contact, especially when it’s genuine or affectionate. So, when you reach out to hold his hand, lean on his shoulder, or wrap him in a hug, it leaves him subtly intrigued. For Johan, this fascination with your need for touch is like reading an unfamiliar book—he observes your actions with a quiet, thoughtful curiosity.

• While he doesn’t reciprocate intensely, Johan learns to allow your affection. He’ll place a hand on yours when he notices you get nervous, or lightly brush your hair away when you lean into him. These small gestures reveal his acceptance of your touch, even if he’s still trying to understand it himself.

Quiet Companionship

• Johan rarely initiates closeness but allows you to linger around him whenever you need. Reading on the couch? He lets you snuggle up beside him, resting your head on his shoulder as he silently flips through pages. You might even catch him shifting his position slightly to make you more comfortable—a small but significant action for someone as reserved as he is.

• Although he seems unaffected on the surface, he grows accustomed to your presence by his side, and when you’re not around, there’s a noticeable emptiness. For Johan, your closeness has become part of his daily rhythm, something that quietly grounds him.

Studying Your Emotions

• Johan is an expert at understanding people, and with you, he watches every little expression and reaction, taking in each look of affection or excitement you give him. He’s captivated by how expressive you are, how naturally you convey love through your touch and words.

• Sometimes, Johan will say things that provoke a reaction from you just to observe how you respond. If he makes an enigmatic comment about your clinginess, he finds the way you blush, laugh nervously, or cling to him even more endearing.

The Gentle Boundary

• Even though Johan doesn’t overtly encourage your clinginess, he never pushes you away either. On particularly difficult days when you’re feeling extra needy or anxious, Johan lets you hold onto him for as long as you need, wordlessly understanding that your affection has become a way to feel safe and grounded.

• If he senses you’re holding back or feels you’re anxious about being too much for him, Johan will subtly encourage you. He may gently guide your hand back to his or brush his fingers through your hair as if to silently reassure you that your presence is something he’s grown used to—and perhaps even welcomes.

A Subtle, Protective Instinct

• Johan isn’t protective in a traditional sense; he won’t openly express worry or rush to shield you. But in his own way, he’ll make sure you’re safe. If you’re clingy and rely on him for comfort, he’s vigilant about your environment, observing and silently removing anyone or anything he perceives as a threat.

• In tense or uncomfortable situations, he’ll position himself close to you, maybe even take your hand, subtly pulling you toward him to keep you protected. Even if he doesn’t speak about it, there’s an unspoken promise that he won’t let anything disturb the quiet connection you’ve formed.

The Rare Moments of Softness

• There are rare moments when Johan’s mask slips, and he’ll let himself be genuinely vulnerable around you, if only briefly. On days when the weight of his past feels heavier, he might accept your touch a little more openly—allowing you to hold him, resting his head against yours, or even letting out a soft sigh in your presence.

• You never bring these moments up after they happen, knowing he’d likely brush them off, but these glimpses of Johan’s hidden softness only deepen your attachment. You become his safe place, a quiet and unwavering source of warmth, something he’s come to rely on even if he’ll never openly say it.

His Way of Saying “Stay”

• Johan doesn’t ask you to stay outright, but his actions speak volumes. If you try to leave, he’ll give a simple, almost casual look, and you know he wants you near. In public, he might rest his hand lightly on the small of your back or guide you subtly with a touch to keep you close, always creating an unspoken boundary around the two of you.

• At times, when he senses you pulling back or when you try to give him space, Johan will do something quietly reassuring, like placing a hand on yours during a meal or standing closer than necessary. It’s his way of inviting you to stay close—a rare privilege he extends only to you.

A Wordless Understanding

• With time, Johan becomes more attuned to your presence, almost anticipating your clinginess with a faint smile. When you come home exhausted and immediately wrap your arms around him, he’ll pause whatever he’s doing and let you rest against him, occasionally running a hand through your hair or brushing his thumb against your shoulder.

• There’s a strange peace in the silence that follows. Johan doesn’t need words to understand that you’re seeking comfort, and though he may not fully grasp why it means so much to you, he’s learned that your touch is something he’s come to accept—even perhaps something he craves in his own quiet way.

When He Needs You

• While Johan rarely admits to needing anything or anyone, there are rare instances when he silently seeks your warmth. After a particularly intense night of his own inner turmoil, you might wake to find him sitting beside you, a look of quiet contemplation on his face.

• Without a word, he’ll take your hand or let you wrap your arms around him, his body relaxing subtly as he allows himself this small moment of closeness. It’s his way of acknowledging that you’ve become his refuge, even if he’ll never say it out loud. In these moments, you realize that despite his complex nature, he does, in his own way, need you.

• Johan may not be someone who openly returns affection, but over time, he learns to appreciate your presence, even if it takes an understated form. His gestures might be subtle, but they reveal that beneath his carefully controlled demeanor, he’s found something rare and precious in your clingy devotion—a warmth he allows himself to be surrounded by, as if, for once, it’s safe to be a little less alone.

[emojellyace08]

Hello! How've you been? Can you please write jealousy headcanons for lookism men with a female reader? The reader and they are not in a relationship but they have a crush on her and they get jealous when she hangs out with her guys best friend? Thank you ❤️

♡♡♡♡ Jealousy "Hey, would you please focus on me?" (Lookism Men x Female Reader)♡♡♡♡

A/N: Sorry for the really late reply @serenesoulseeker but I've been feeling a lot better lately! (been trying to recover from a cold rn) And sorry for the inconvenience bc I have other requests to do and other important tasks (this has been sitting on my drafts for a while -_-''''') but I hope my writing reaches your expectations. Ty! Genre: angst to fluff Warnings: jealousy and neediness (a bit of possessiveness), not in an established relationship with the character of choice at first, (yandere on Samuel, Olly, and Jiho's part), slight mentions of assault (night club), mentions of physical fighting, shouting, toxic relationship on the last part (NOT CONDONING THIS IN REAL LIFE) reader is gender neutral!

Daniel Park/Jay Hong/Zack Lee/Vasco (Lee Eun Tae)/Jace Park/Duke Pyeon/Eli Jang/Johan Seong/Jake Kim/Lineman/Brad Lee/Jerry Kwon/Jason Yoon/Jiho Park/Young Jinyeong Park/Yuseong

Getting to know him for a very long time is a ride. You've been childhood friends with him and he's one of the people you cherish a lot. You always got each other's back. You often scare those little bullies away when they're taking their insults personally again just to make him insecure. And at times you got to scold him while patching up his bruises when he gets beaten up by those thugs, he just really wants to protect you from those types of people.

He may get wounded because of his hero complex getting in the way at times, but it's just him being him. You may come out as strong and bold at times but he knows you got that soft spot in you once he gets to know you better. You're both glad that you get to know each other. In times in rich and wealth, in sickness and in health, in both of your ups and downs you're always partners in crime. Spending his extra time with you shows that he really values you as you're with him. Despite having your own business and focusing on both of your perspective goals, that spark just never faded away. You're both thankful that your friendship stays the same, even getting better even when you're not with him at most times.

Your relationship with him even developed the more you stayed beside him especially when he's down like there's a dark cloud above his head. You don't have to be there for him always, yet you chose to. That triggered something he never felt anything before. Something warm and exciting. He usually never engage in romance since he's afraid of getting rejected and hurt. But he felt so much in ease and comfortable with you. When you tease him he usually doesn't mind it since he knows that you don't mean it and you actually see the good in him. It took a while for him to realize that he's been crossing the line that he's not prepared for.

He's enlightened, nervous, and anything between scared and happy. If he confesses to you, will like him back just because of his looks? Or will you turn down his offer or live both of your best lives as lovers? Will you avoid him? He's not sure. Though he will respect your wishes if you want boundaries. But he can't help but to feel jealous when you mingle with other people, especially with other boys. He knows that your kind and uplifting spirit makes the other guys ask for help when they need to so he doesn't really have a problem with you spending time with them as long as they don't do anything scandalous to you. He knows that he's not your boyfriend and vice versa, so there's no need to feel jealous. Right? But he can't really control it at times. He wants to pin you on the wooden table as he wants to tell you his feelings, "Hey, would you please focus on me?" but he can't seem to tell it on your face. He doesn't mean to pout when you won't pay attention to him. But he gets really hot and sweaty when you lean closer to him when you're helping him out with his homework! Or he can't help but to admire your cute face that you make when he teases you.

He's really insecure about what he's feeling and about himself. But after collecting his courage, he decided to talk to you and face that wall that he's been trying to overcome. He doesn't care if you even reject him anymore. He's trying to act tough and strong so that he can keep up with his image and to your standards. But I guess it's now or never.

You are chatting with him as you view the beautiful scenery of the sun falling down as the moon starts to appear on the pinkish-blue hue of the sky. The wind's blowing is soft and gentle as leaves softly rustle and danced on the atmosphere falling off on the tall and strong trees. Birds are flying on the sky as children flew their kites and sweet couples enjoy their quality time with picnics or sitting on the bench, just chatting and laughing at pretty dumb stuff. Despite the background sounds getting a bit loud, he really enjoys this moment with you.

"Hey Y/N," "Hm? "I want to ask you a question." his voice became stern as you gave him your attention. "Yeah, what about that?" you can see him getting a bit sweaty as he gulped, not trying to be so harsh or obvious. "Ehem, do you have s-someone you like?" he asked as your eyes widened in surprise. "Oh about that," "Yeah?" "I-I have someone I really like." You replied feeling your own cheeks grew hot as his mouth curls into a frown. He shouldn't have been hoping for you reciprocating his feelings. But he can't help but to get curious about this type of yours. "Okay, what is he like?" he asked with a hint of discourage on his voice, his eyelashes fluttering as he tries to stop his tears from falling down on his soft face. He never meant to be overdramatic, but his jealousy along with his insecurities and personal problems consume him at times. "Well, he doesn't realize it but he's really handsome, nice, talented, smart in his own ways. But that's not the reason I started developing feelings for him. He's so soft and gentle at me all the time, even being patient when I'm acting like a drama queen/king. But he's been so understanding at my problems even when I'm at fault at times. He doesn't give up on me and he actually made me a better person in some ways." you replied honestly as both of you avoided eye contact. "And I don't mean to offend anybody but," "Huh?" you faced him as you leaned a bit closer to him as he panics. It doesn't mean that he hates it, it's in fact the opposite. He can't help but to stare at your pretty face, but as the guy/someone who developed feelings first, he should be making the first move! "What if I told you that it's you that I like?" "E-EH!"

Now after talking it through out you're going to be a lovey dovey couple. If you're the shy type you're going to be a blushing idiot around him and vice versa. Though after confessing to each other he wants to take things slowly and surely so both of you wouldn't hurt each other's feelings and waste your friendship, memories, and time at the end. He fully respects it if you want to focus on your studies, family, and with your future career but just remember that he's always here for you all the time even if you're lovers or not :) (but trust me he's going to be one of the most loving boyfriends in this verse so it's now or never ;)

Warren Chae/Zack Lee/James Lee/Goo Kim/Sinu Han/Jake Kim/Vin Jin/Young Elite & Tom Lee/Kuroda Ryuhei/Olly Wang/Yoojin/Gongseob Ji/Kwak Jihan &Jibeom

This f*cker is insane. If you met him on your middle school, high school or in your workplace one thing you know is that he's going to piss you off (in a really good and bad way). He doesn't usually engage with his love life, he might have flings and flirts there and then but he's not really emotionally ready for mature understandings in a couple relationship. And besides he doesn't really want to either, he has other plans, goals, and other businesses to handle before getting into a committed relationship. Having a crush is fine he guesses.

But meeting you for the first time is something that feels different yet familiar. Two things crossed on his mind. First, why the f*ck does he need a partner for his work/school activity? And second is that even if he didn't want to admit it but something about you looks interesting. You look like someone who's pretty chill, and even if you won't shut the hell up he has another bicker friend to make and chat with. So it's a 50/50 win.

But one thing he sure know he's wrong about. You're more than your skills, beauty, brains, and talents. Even if you're the introverted or extroverted type, one thing he knows is that you're actually helpful and reasonable. What he likes about you is that you're pretty realistic in some situations that most people can't handle with. And you might sound harsh at times but it's just you being honest and giving constructive criticisms. It might not be obvious that he likes you because of him making you loose your temper and patience at times, but it's just him being him (an annoying little brat). But whenever things get serious, you always got his back and vice versa. You and him are one hell of a disaster if someone or even many people tries to mess with your shit.

Even if he seems to act bold, cold, intimidating and monstrous, he's actually a bit of a scared cat when you bring up the topic of him getting a girlfriend/boyfriend. His body just tenses when you talk about someone who looks physically attractive to you or when they show you acts of good and kind-hearted services. At first he conflicts to his subconscious that it's just him acting like an older brother to you as he scowls and hisses at them like a possessive cat. He can't help but to raise his eyebrows and roll his dark looking orbs when you giggle about your previous crushes, even cringing and boasting that he's a better man than that wimp will ever be. "HAH?! HIM?! REALLY?! Jesus Christ Y/N I didn't know that you have a really bad taste at picking men." he smirks as he bites on his strawberry-flavored lollipop while laughing at your grumpy looking form with him obviously being taller and muscular than you. "You don't even know him! He's not only kind but he's also helpful and bonus points, HOT!" he chokes on his sweet while he lets now a loud guffaw that can be probably heard at the whole building. This bastard really knows to piss you off. But it's just him being jealous. He thinks to himself that he may not be the best in showing affection and even coming out as arrogant at times, but he'll definitely change his misdeeds and wrong doings just to be a good influence on you. He might flirt there and then just to see you getting flustered while smacking his arms to stop. But he wouldn't go too far to make you feel uncomfortable around him. Respect.

Whoever tries to touch you without your permission gets smashed on the face by him. He may not be your boyfriend but whoever pervert who takes it too far and doesn't know boundaries deserves to feel his stinging and even gut-wrenching attacks.

It was on a late evening when you wear your clothing of choice to hang out on your own on a night club. You messaged him that you're going out on your own to get a few drinks with him answering that it's best if he can accompany you if you don't mind. But you reassured him that you'll be okay and you'll come home safe and sound. How wrong are you on that part. A skinny looking dude kept approaching you for your number while you politely decline that you're fine with your own. But he couldn't just stop bothering you, the fight have even turned into physical if you asked me. He was about to slap you on the face but then your friend stopped his attack by putting pressure on his wrist making the drunk bastard groan and grit his teeth. "Oi you dumb fuck, is that how you treat a person?" "Why the fuck are you getting out of the wa-" Your eyes widened as he landed an attack on the poor guy, but he just deserved it since he's not being responsible.

Both of you have to get out of that place filled with stench of smoke and alcohol. You're not really on the right mind either as the *alcohol/drink of choice* is starting to kick in your system. You crying and wailing on his arms like a little toddler when your toy is taken away from you. "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU FOLLOW ME HERE?! I ASKED FOR MY OWN TIME! I COULD HAVE PROTECTED MY SELF THERE!" you sobbed as you keep hitting him on the arms as he tries to make you calm down. "OI YOU REALLY THINK THAT I CAN JUST LEAVE YOU ALONE THERE?! WHAT IF YOU GOT HURT OR WHAT IF SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENED TO YOU?!" he was about to scold you more before you hit him again despite not being hurtful at all before you puked on his new bought shirt, ah what a dumbass you are at times. "SCREW YOU! YOU ALWAYS GET IN MY WAY! EVEN TEASING ME WHEN MY FEELINGS ARE ALREADY GETTING HURT! YOU DON'T EVEN CARE WE ARE JUST CO-WORKERS/CLASSMATES!"

He'll make sure to give you every detail about what happened that night and he'll apologize on his shortcomings, even being honest about his mistakes which you can feel a bit uncanny since it's not like him. "Sorry Y/N for being an asshole at times. Sorry if I offended you. I may not be sounding sincere right now but I'll try my best to make it up to you. We're partners in crime after all". Nonetheless, if you and him can make it work out and talk about your problems with each other you and him will make a great couple :).

Gun Park/Kwak Jichang/Taesoo Ma/DG (Kang Dag Yeom)/Young Charles Choi (Elite)/Daniel Park (post-training with Gun arc)/Johan Seong/Cheon Taejin/Magami Kenta

He's another one who doesn't really focus on his love life. He does feel that being alone can be lonely at times but one main advantage of being single is that he can have quality time for himself and he can keep an eye on his goals. But he can definitely feel a spark between the two of you the more he gets to know you better if he really likes you. He's just him chilling in his own world I guess.

He doesn't really get jealous? At all? He might have some moments of feeling disappointed when you're busy with your schooling/work or when you turn your attention to your classmate/co-worker but he just wouldn't speak about it unless if you're doing it intentionally he still definitely gets jealous.

He can simply control his emotions in times especially when both of you are out for business. He maintains his professionalism intact with him since acting like a crybaby about it would just make a ruckus between the two of you and he doesn't want an argument in the first place. He wants to keep each others' boundaries, love, connection, and self respect for one another so he'll just ask about your day while he listens to your rumbles in your school/workplace as long as you listen to him as well ;3.

He's also very honest about his feelings and what upsets him the most. He wouldn't be afraid to voice out his concerns most of the times. At times he's feeling very hesitant to talk about his or your issues since he's already mentally exhausted and he doesn't want to bruise your heart. But he knows that running away from something won't make anything better. So as much as it hurts your part, he's willing to give some constructive criticisms even if you're the sensitive type and he'll also listen to your point of view in situations while he also explains his side of things (he doesn't emotionally abuse you don't worry).

And your friend might feel a little glare or you might see a little pout on his face when you don't give him attention. He really wants to get showered with love and care even though his inferior is tough and strong. But he's still a human, feeling emotions like jealousy so expect for him to gently grab your chin while he looks at you with that demanding and fierce, yet soft and sparkly eyes to lock on you especially when both of you are alone keeping each others' company. "Hey, did you take notes to what I am talking about?" "E-Eh?!" "Keep your focus on me even just for today, I'm not emotionally free when I'm out for work. So listen to me right now."

But his demeanor will completely change once a fucker who knows that you're in a relationship with him tries to flirt with you. It's not even a feeling of jealousy at this point. He's going to feel rage once someone tries to touch you inappropriately. It's going to be a massacre if you don't convince him to stop since he doesn't have a beating for a while now. Your one of the people whom he only listens to so as much as he wants to teach that guy a lesson he'll consider sparing them, he might not want to see their face though after he tries flirting and taking advantage of you.

Samuel Seo/Olly Wang/Jiho Park (villain arc)/Vin Jin (at start of Lookism when he's still super toxic unlike today he's still an asshole at times)

Oh girl/boy, do I even need to start? -_-'''' 🚩🚩🚩.

Literally the definition of "pure" red flag inside out.

This guy has daddy issues, family issues, mommy issues, inferiority complex issues, literally any issue. He also (probably) has abandonment issues so he pretty much won't let you go if he feels like you're the "one for him".

Pretty creepy with the face that he makes when he gets excited for beating someone when somebody tries to get closer to you (especially his rival). He might take this as a big challenge to see which one deserves to be with you.

A literal gangster inside out. Y'all saying that you can fix him, are you Bob the Builder or smth? Like there's a literal whole construction site dedicated for him 😭.

He MIGHT change his values and goals once you taught him how to love and appreciate his self for the way he is but so far it's probably going to be a toxic relationship if you're also a really hard headed person.

He easily gets jealous out of the bunch even at the smallest things. No matter how many times you try to convince him that you're not flirting with your schoolmate/co-worker, once he lost his cool he'll be literally scary and monstrous. Literal shouting, screaming and crying will be heard on your room while he throws things on the wall when he loose his temper at you. *Sigh* Idk about it.

Definition of insecure (I don't know if I'm describing or insulting them at this point).

A literal ass most at times. Yikes.

[ranposbabe]

(Ongoing) Masterlist

Infidel | Johan Liebert x Reader

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

to be continued…

[chubstiger]

Fighter!Geto x Fighter!Reader x Fighter! Gojo

Lookism!AU part 2

"Who are you?" You asked in Japanese, getting ready to fight again. The white haired one raised his hands.

"Whoa, it's cool! Not gonna fight ya. Right, Suguru?" He nudged his friend in the arm. The black haired one nodded, keeping a close eye on you.

"Well then, I'll just be going." You uttered, walking past by them. They turned to watch you walk away and then look at each other and shrugged. They were pretty interested and wanted to know what's going on. So, secretly they followed you.

~~~~~

You wondered and texted to find Gun as it started to rain. You cursed for not having an umbrella and ran to where he was. Little did you know, those two were following you.

As you caught up to where you need to be, two large groups gathered around the park. BurnKnuckles and defeated God Dog. You saw Gun with a kneeling Johan Seung begging about the help for his mother. You clicked your tongue about what was going to happen. Johan was fighting back against Gun.

Feeling the presence of being followed, you quickly turned around and saw the two males that were in the alley with you. "What the hell?" You questioned.

"Uh, we're not weirdos, I swear!" The black haired sighed at his friend for what he stated. You walked closer to them, annoyed.

"Are you with Workers?" You required.

"Workers? No idea who they are."

"Then who are you?" You sighed, feeling relieved.

Before the white-haired male spoke, his friend introduced themselves, "The name is Geto Suguru, and the idiot there is Gojo Satoru. Look, we were just curious. Not anyone can defeat a bunch of people without receiving any wounds." He stated.

You shrugged, "Can't help you with that. Not like it's any of your business." You turned away from them and waved as the rain started to vanish, "I got things to do, goodbye, Geto and Gojo."

They blinked, staring at your retreating figure, walking towards the male in the black trench coat. They glanced around them, finally noticing the two groups. One beaten and one standing. It was a gang war, and somehow, the male in the trench coat and you were involved. They were so busy with you that they couldn't get the chance to overhear the situation. They watch you get into a car with the other male and drive off. Glancing at each other, they turned away and walked the other direction, hoping they would see you again. "Workers, huh?" Geto muttered.

~~~~~~

Part 1 here!

[mymxnfgh]

how lookism boys (if they were mlm) react to male y/n hitting on them or how lookism girls (if they were wlw) would react to female y/n hitting on them?

you can choose which one you wanna do :)

(im only asking bc your requests are open but if this makes you uncomfy, feel free to ignore)

hi anon! tysm for the request and it doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all! I would love to draw how lookism boys/girls react on male/female y/n hitting on them! it seems like such a fun idea! and you know what maybe I can add a few HCs next to the drawing too~ Im sorry if this took a bit longer than expected tho!!

Also I'm sorry but I kind of just roughly doodled everything but I hope it's still alright haha if there's anything you want me to add please tell me!!

How Lookism Boys would react on male y/n hitting on them

Daniel Park

I think Daniel would be reaaaally really flustered!

But I feel like he wouldn't care about y/ns gender he would just think about how someone just flirted with him

he's such a cutie

like a small bunny

Johan Seong

Please help him

Doesn't care about y/ns gender either I think Johan is the type of guy if he likes someone nothing else matters

doesn't show a reaction (may even ignore you)

but is really flustered inside

blushing blushing blushing askdkfkwkww

Jake Kim

What more do I have to say he's Jake

I'm so sorry I can't draw Jake like a normal person

He's such a flirt

Probably even hit on y/n first

Why did I even put him on this list???

Samuel Seo

He doesn't care, not because of y/ns gender but because he doesn't care in general doesn't matter who it is

Thinks y/n is weird but well...I'm sorry Sammy but look at yourself first

Alright thats all if you want me to draw more please tell me! I really had a lot of fun drawing these and tysm for the request! If you want to I can also draw the version wil the lookism girls (wlw) and/or add other boys because I kinda got lazy toward the end haha

Have a wonderful day!💕💖💗💓

[calic0stuff]

-Johan Liebert x Y/N, S/O, Reader-

Author's note: Romance with Johan .

Thank you so much for the hearts and shares and comments/requests too! <33

!sorry for this!: There may be grammatical errors in the text, exuse me! \(⊙﹏⊙)/

You were woken up by a light shining through your window. You didn't mind that much, at least you didn't wake up to the annoying sound of your alarm clock. You got out of bed very quickly. You got dressed and packed.

When you went to school, you said hello and went to your own little locker. However, when it opened, something fell on the ground. You bent down and picked it up. It was a small piece of paper on which a small text was written very pretty.

It read: "If you only knew how nice you are to me, the intoxicating smell of your scent would take me to heaven. Princess please be mine. If you can't guess who I am, your blond prince will be waiting outside the school with a bouquet of flowers.''

A small blush on your face, which would not have been noticed from a distance. People have passed you in the corridor and you are re-reading the text for the second time.

Who could have written this? - you thought to yourself. This person is from my class or it's all just a joke, it can't be... You had to be a bit cunning to figure this out, if it was a joke it probably wouldn't be so beautifully described. I think...

*The bell rang, so you quickly put the letter in your bag and went to your first class.*

I don't know how exactly he wrote it, but I have a guess. I narrow my options down to my department. From the class ... Uhm, how much is the boy?

-(Y/N) Could you answer the question I just asked?

-What was the question, sorry?

*Johan got up from his chair and opened his mouth to speak.*

You saw that pair of blue eyes watching you for a while, exactly since the teacher called you.

- I know the answer. - said Johan. His voice is very even and calm as always a little scary.

-Okay, tell me the answer. answered the teacher

- The answer is 2.

- Yes, that's a good solution, you can sit down.

The boy sat down and stared at you again, but he smiled at you, there was no mockery or contempt in that smile, it was a kind smile.

*After that, your lessons passed very slowly, at least you felt that way. The text on the paper was on your mind the whole time. Before long, the bell rang for your last class and you quickly packed up. You were very curious about who your worshiper was.*

You ran out of the school door to finally see who wrote. You got out the door and you stopped a little in your haste. You did well to stop.

The sun gave just the right light to his beautiful face, his sea blue eyes sparkled and his hair almost melted into the color of the snow. In Johan hand was a freshly tied bouquet of dark roses.

-Um, I don't know if you figured out in all this time during the day that I'm the blond prince. I think you guessed it. It's not true?

- Mhm, I think I might have guessed, especially after you answered for me and kept staring.

- I can't be perfect either. -He told

- I brought this here for you, I hope you will like it.

- Thank you!

[yhwhsdaughter]

[r-e-m-i]

new series

I'm making a new book (lookism) and idk if i should make it an xoc or xreader help??for the oc one it's going to have pictures a name and description of the oc if you decide on y/n book then it it'll be an insert of you dear reader so like no pictures (unless it's food) no description of body type/ shape or how you look cause i don't know that info and it wont have any pictures for outfits (for the most part) i have not decided yet of what gender y/n will have but ill prolly make it so everyone can read it (so instead of normal pronouns it'll have y/p which means your pronoun if there is an actual term for that tell me) and im also gonna be posting it on here and wattpad same for my older book and if you pick oc tell me what gender i should make them

[riewritten]

CRYING. CYING CRYINNGSNDJGNDNR!!!?!?@#?@ first johan liebert fan art, a MAJESTIC one at that, dedicated to my fic‼😭💘 yOU ARE SUCH A GREAT ARTIST what the hell?!?!?! LIKE THE LINES?!?!? THE SHADING AND COLORING STYLE?? delicious. SUPERB. i will eat ur art 1000/10

now i CAN definitely imagine johan shamelessly huffing a lil cig at YOUR bathroom door (the audacity of this bitch!!!) after removing his anna liebert costume, make up, and all because he's confident not even the stink of cigarette smoke could wake his favorite roommate up 😔✊ he had spent a lot of nights observing you sleep to know that much, after all.

the only con is that he'd have to clean the ashes along with his make up kit among many other things. you see, it's actually quite apparent to notice that someone had smoked inside your bathroom—there would be ashes on the floor, the stinky smell would stick to the tiles, and it would all be piled up with your annoyance to whoever the fuck would break into your house while you're sleeping just to do such an abhorrence.

but johan, this unhinged man, is living off the thrill of being caught, of being noticed and known by you—well, much to his denial of his own existence. he thinks it's just his self-destructive tendencies at work, but deep inside you should know that this fucker is sometimes disgustingly filled with satisfaction during scenario-buildings—an event where you could see him all bare and exposed, a point in time where the monster lays itself bare to the one who interests him most. oh, you'd be so terrified. perhaps your whole world would crumble, even. he sure knows it would—that is in accordance to his will—for the monster, for the first time in his life, wants to have a tumultuous impact towards another living being.

he doesn't know the reason why, though. this is the first time the monster inside him took this type of interest towards someone.

HERE'S THE OIL WELL FIRES FANFIC for those who haven't read it yet btw <333

@riewritten caught johan getting out of drag

kept procrastinating on this cuz i kept nitpicking but i need to work on my perfectionism so i went ahead and tried to finish it instead of throwing it in the WIP dungeon LOL. now go read “oil well fires” by riewritten. genuinely the best johan fic i’ve read and i can’t wait to read the future chapters 🙏🙏

[leahwllmsn]

broke your heart, I’ll put it back together

alexia putellas x reader

word count: 9.7k

In which Alexia is an excellent footballer yet a terrible, terrible girlfriend. You still love her nonetheless.

Alexia never had much experience with the love that she saw in movies: all the hugs and the “I love you”s and the heart-to-heart conversations. Alexia thought they were too cliché anyway. Especially the “I love you”s. Some people give proclamations of love too easily and not mean a single thing. 

Her sister loved to laugh every time people misjudged Alexia to be someone emotionless and cold, when in reality she was just “an awkward introvert who’s terrible at anything related to love and romance and all that jazz,” (Alba’s words). 

Although Alexia would say that that was false. Just because she turned awkward whenever someone showed a bit of affection didn’t mean that Alexia sucked at romance. Alexia had watched enough Nicholas Sparks movies to understand what she had to do when the time came. Flowers. Chocolates. Kissing in the rain. Simple.

(“Simple. Yup, definitely. That’s obviously why you’re still single at the age of thirty.”

“Excuse me! Puta.”

“Should I set you up with someone? Yeah. I’m gonna set you up with someone.”

“Alba, fuck off.”)

So maybe Alexia was thirty and still single. So what? Alexia just never thought of relationships to be that big of a deal. And it definitely wasn’t because of how she was as a person “distant and reserved”—or so how Alba described her to be. Her job was already taking too much of her time as it is.

Alexia was the best footballer in the world, and aside from trainings and matches to play, it also required back-to-back meetings and her full attention and wow, Alexia really was going to die alone as a cat lady which was so much worse because she was allergic to cats.

“Your turn, Ale.”

Alexia turned her gaze towards Mapi. It was media day at the Estadi Johan Cruyff. Alexia always had loathed doing interviews but it was part of the job. “How was it?”

“Fine as usual,” Mapi shrugged, flopping on the empty bench next to Alexia. “Have a feeling you will enjoy this one though.”

Alexia raised her eyebrows, moving to stand up. “Why?”

Mapi had a cheeky look on her face. “The interviewer is definitely your type.”

Alexia threw her jacket at Mapi’s face, causing the latter to laugh. “I will gladly say I told you so later! Just you wait!”

Alexia entered one of the rooms that was designated for her interview. It was going to be a fun and lighthearted video. Alexia couldn’t really remember the name of the media that she was assigned to, she had a lot on her mind lately. 

Especially since her family was throwing a get-together over the weekend and now both her mother and Alba were pestering her over bringing someone. Alba putting ideas into Eli’s head that Alexia should be seeing someone at this age and Eli quickly agreeing that she was spending too much time on football—

“Miss Putellas? Hi, nice to meet you.”

Alexia’s mouth went agape.

“I’m y/n and this is my team, Robert and Camila. Thank you for having us.”

On second thought, maybe Alba was right. Maybe Alexia really was destined to be the typical career woman who focused too much on work and never had time for love, especially since she was cold and distant and was really, really downright terrible at romance, because there was no way that her heart was doing somersaults when she should be working. This was awful timing. She was so unprofessional.

Her heart was definitely not skipping a beat because of an interviewer who looked to be in her twenties—oh god, Alexia was definitely not crushing on someone who looked like she was still in university.

But the moment you smiled, Alexia knew she was screwed

—

“Fuck you, Alba.”

“Well, Alexia Putellas, just so you know I do have hundreds of girls lining up wanting to fuck me.”

Alexia groaned into her phone. “First of all, ew! Not funny. I hate you.”

Alba laughed. “What did I do this time?”

“You planted these stupid, stupid thoughts into my head! I was thinking about being single so much that you made me have a crush on someone who’s supposed to interview me—”

“I’m gonna stop you right there. How is this my fault?”

“I don’t know!” Alexia exclaimed. “I went into the room and she was there with her stupid cute vest and little notebook in hand and her hair was brown and wavy but not too wavy, it was just perfect the way it falls perfectly down her shoulders and her stupid smile. She was smiling at me, Alba. At me. Smiling.”

“Oookay,” Alba dragged out. “When I said you should find someone I didn’t mean a sugar baby.”

“Alba!”

“What? An interviewer? Journalist? I doubt she’s making a lot per year—”

Alexia groaned even more. “Please don’t go around saying shit like this to anyone else.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Whatever, you’re no help,” Alexia stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, making sure that she looked fine. Not that she wanted to impress you—she just wanted to look fine to someone who was going to interview her. Yeah, that was it. “I'll talk to you later.”

“Going back to your new lover?”

“Shut up,” Alexia unlocked the door and stepped out of the bathroom. “I ran to the bathroom because I freaked out.”

Alba’s laugh was so loud that people in the hallways glanced at Alexia as she passed by. “Real smooth. You're totally good at romance. An expert. The real life Romeo—”

Alexia hung up and plopped her phone in the pocket of her tracksuit. She could get through this. She had played in front of thousands, she went through people criticizing her every move as if they were better than her. She wasn’t nervous then, why should she be nervous now?

“Sorry, where were we?” Alexia said as soon as she reentered the room. She took her seat, you on the other side of the camera, still with that damn smile on your face.

“I was just about to tell you that I have always wanted to interview you,” you replied.

“Me?” Alexia squeaked, immediately clearing her throat nervously. 

—No, not nervously. Alexia didn’t get nervous. Fuck.

“Yes. You’re a very interesting person,” you fidgeted with the notepad and pen in your hands, your shoes tapping on the floor slightly. Alexia realized that you were nervous, and somehow the thought placed a smile on her face.

“How long have you been working for …Dazn? You could pass as someone who hasn’t graduated university—not that I’m saying you’re not qualified to do your job or anything, you just look really young- not that it’s a bad thing! Lo siento. I’ll just stop talking.”

Real smooth, Alexia. Real smooth.

“Well,” you chuckled. “To answer your question, one: just for a little while and two: you’re kind of right.” You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled bashfully. “I’m twenty-five years old, still in university, but for my masters.”

“I see,” Realization dawned on Alexia’s face and she had to look to the side to hide away her smile. A five year age gap. Not bad at all. 

…Not that it was important, though. Definitely not important. “What are you majoring in?”

You scrunched up your nose. “Isn’t this supposed to be me interviewing you?”

Alexia laughed. “I suppose so.”

“Should we jump into it then?”

“Fire away.”

—

As soon as you left, Alexia couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the day. She didn’t know whether it was because of how stupidly charming you were or because of your addictive smile—okay, no. It was probably not because of you at all. You, who she barely knew. You, with the stars in your eyes, staring at Alexia as if you adored her to bits and wanted to know every single detail about her, including Alexia’s favourite food.

“She asked the question out of nowhere, Albs. We were talking about the upcoming season the second before.” Alexia recalled.

“That does seem pretty random.” Alba replied in between bites of her food.

“Right?! It was like she was done with all her questions, but she wanted to get to know me further—”

Alexia’s sentence was cut off by Alba’s laughter. “Don’t get too cocky now, Ale. Just because you have a crush on her doesn’t mean she’s into you too.”

Alexia rolled her eyes. “I don’t have a crush on her. I can admit she’s attractive. And funny. And smart. Does not mean I have a crush on her.”

“Seems like you do,” Alba said, a smirk forming on her lips. “Which is great! Haven’t I been telling you to find someone? This is super great.”

“I’m not gonna date someone years younger than me, Alba,” Alexia cut into her steak and took a bite. Yup. She wasn’t going to date someone who was five years younger than her.

“She’s twenty-five, that’s nothing.”

Alexia narrowed her eyes at the brunette in front of her. “…How do you know her age? I never told you her age.”

“Google exists,” Alba said simply. “And remember the girl I’m sort-of-seeing-but-not-really?”

“Marta,” Alexia nodded.

“Maria,” Alba corrected. “She’s your girl’s best friend.”

Alexia paused her fork mid-air. “What?”

Alba hummed. “They're on the way here as we speak.”

“What?!” Alexia repeated, a clang echoing throughout her dining room as her fork fell to her plate.

“I invited them over for drinks.”

Alexia palmed her face and groaned. “I think I missed the part where you invited them over to my place without my acknowledgement.”

“Oh whatever, hermana,” Alba waved her off. “Stop acting as if I don’t live here.”

“You don’t,” Alexia reminded.

“Your place is my place and all that,” Alba teased.

“Alba,” Alexia felt like strangling Alba. Or anything to wipe that grin off her face—

The doorbell interrupted them.

Alba squeaked and jumped out of her chair. “That’s them!”

Alexia opened her mouth to say something but Alba was already out of the room before she could utter a word. Damn it.

Alexia forced herself to stay cool, following after Alba and sighing when she neared the front door and saw a girl she’d seen in Alba’s pictures and you.

“Hello,” Alexia greeted. 

“Amor, this is my grumpy and very single sister, Alexia,” Alba pointed at Alexia and Alexia slapped Alba’s hand away.

“I’m Alexia,” Alexia put her hand out, her smile widening when she caught your eyes. Okay, so maybe she didn’t hate Alba that much.

“I know, wow, it’s an honor,” your best friend shook Alexia’s hands. “You’re a legend.”

Alexia laughs, her cheeks turning red. “Thank you.” She turned to you and gave a little wave. “I don’t think introductions are necessary, is it?”

“Hi, Miss Putellas,” you said. Alexia hated how addicted she was to your voice despite having just met you today.

“Oh no. Alexia is fine, please.”

“Okay then,” you grinned and Alexia swore she could die on the spot. “Alexia it is.”

—

“So, Alexia,” you started. You were seated on one couch, Alba and Maria occupying the smaller seater to your left. No one seemed to be paying attention to the movie anymore. Alexia couldn’t even remember what the damn plot of the movie was. You, as it turned out, smelled really good and it was very addicting—and Alexia was insane. Insane for developing a tiny crush on you when you two had just met today. 

You looked like you didn’t know what to say, settling with, “Nice place.”

Alexia gave a soft laugh. “Thank you? There’s more that I haven’t shown you actually.”

“Yeah?” you sounded like you wanted to have Alexia show you around.

Alexia darted her eyes towards her sister and her ‘not-so-date’ to see that they had both fallen asleep. Alexia contemplated whether being alone with you would be something she should be doing or not, and after a moment she decided that there wasn’t any reason for her to not want to be alone with you. 

So Alexia stood up and offered a hand out for you to take. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”

—

Five minutes into being alone with you and walking around Alexia’s house—or mansion, as you called it—Alexia discovered five things about you.

You had two dogs, Salt and Pepper, and Alexia could tell how much you loved them with the way you excitedly told the story about how you got them.

You were an only child and your parents spoiled you to bits and they supported you in everything you did, all the way from the United States.

You were American.

You were taking your masters in sports science and Alexia made a mental note to talk to the physios at Barça on whether they have a vacant spot for you. Not because Alexia wanted to see you everyday, but because she was sure you were a certified genius.

You were hilarious and made Alexia laugh a lot. Alexia wanted more of you.

You were in the middle of retelling how your day went and Alexia somehow really wanted to kiss you, which was dumb and stupid, considering how she barely knew you. 

You got excited over the littlest things, you talked animatedly about how you saw a dog on your way to Alexia’s place that looked a lot like your own and you gushed about how the dog barked excitedly at you. Alexia found it adorable, despite being confused on how a dog can bark ‘excitedly’.

“I’m sorry I talk a lot,” you said, tucking your hair behind your ears. 

“Don’t be,” Alexia bumped your shoulders lightly as you two continued your walk around her house. “It’s cute.”

You playfully rolled your eyes. Alexia could see the red on the tips of your ears. Adorable. “Can we go outside?” you asked, changing the subject.

“Sure,” Alexia led you towards the nearest door that leads to her backyard. “The pool is on the other side, this is my flower garden.”

“You have a flower garden,” you stated. 

Alexia hummed in reply. “I love looking at flowers. They are pretty.”

Once you stepped outside, Alexia felt her teeth chatter, cursing herself for not wearing anything more appropriate for the cold night air. When she was about to ask you if you wanted to head back inside, a jacket was draped around her shoulders and Alexia was surrounded with the scent of your vanilla perfume.

“y/n, you don’t have to—”

“Take it,” you insisted. “You’re freezing.”

“You’re gonna freeze.” 

Alexia shook off the black jacket and was about to place it around your shoulders but you walked ahead. “I won’t,” you walked backwards, smiling reassuringly. “I’m still wearing long-sleeves, see? I can handle it. Don’t worry.”

Alexia hesitated for a second before putting on the jacket. Alexia hugged herself tighter, it was still cold but also because the jacket smelled really nice. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” you replied. You stopped walking and Alexia would know this if she wasn’t so busy looking elsewhere but you. 

The moment Alexia bumped into you, your hands immediately went to steady her, resting on Alexia’s forearms. Alexia could feel herself flush, her cheeks getting warm, profusely apologizing because she was usually never this clumsy.

You giggled, your hands were still sending fire to Alexia’s skin, your faces inches apart. “That’s okay.”

“I should’ve watched where I was going,” Alexia’s face was apologetic. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay. Really,” you were smiling at her. “A lot on your mind today?”

Alexia studied your face and nodded. Definitely a lot. She noticed that you had a mole under your left eyebrow. 

“Mind sharing?” you asked.

Alexia immediately stood up straighter and cleared her throat. You dropped your hands, but made no move to step away. “Just- work. Media day has never been my favourite.”

Yup. Work. Definitely not because Alexia couldn’t get your pretty eyes off her mind.

You narrowed your eyes at her and Alexia held her breath. You were really close. It was getting harder to breathe. All Alexia could think about was that vanilla was about to become her favourite scent.

“You’re very interesting.”

Alexia raised her eyebrows at that. “I am?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I saw you at training yesterday, you know. We had a briefing to prepare for today. You were… I wouldn’t say scary, but I was pretty sure your teammates were about to pee their pants.”

Alexia broke into a laugh. “What?”

“You had that furrow between your brows,” you elaborated, raising your hand and hesitantly running a finger across Alexia’s forehead. “And I could hear your stern captain voice,” you chuckled, dropping your hand. “But despite that you were still as charismatic and graceful as ever. I could see why people would be so intimidated by you.”

“And that’s interesting to you?” Alexia said, her voice barely a whisper. Her heart was hammering wildly in her chest.

“Yeah,” you answered, your voice matching Alexia’s whisper. “Because while I was interviewing you earlier today and this whole night, you’ve been acting the opposite and I couldn’t figure it out.”

“The opposite?”

“You’re… awkward,” you laughed. “You take charge on the field, your chin held high, you look people straight in the eye when conversing with them. But you’re so awkward—you bump into me, you stutter, you can’t look me in the eye for more than five seconds.”

Damn it. You were smart. Well, Alexia knew you were smart, but this was… this was you being able to read Alexia’s thoughts and damn. it.

Alexia couldn’t even defend herself because it was true. All the things you observed were true and what could Alexia exactly say to that? That Alexia acted that way because she was nervous? That being around you made her nervous? Which was baffling because Alexia had done speeches in front of thousands of people without tripping over her words once, yet one night with you and Alexia‘s vocabulary went out the window.

“Uh I’m sorry if that was overstepping,” you said, finally stepping backwards. “I was just stating what I saw.”

You looked really beautiful under the moonlight. Your eyes casted downwards, your hands fidgety, as if you were doubting yourself about why you said all that. You looked nervous, perhaps about what Alexia would say next. 

But despite everything, you looked really beautiful under the moonlight and Alexia figured that there was no harm in telling you that.

“You’re right,” Alexia laughed. “You’re absolutely right.” A pause. “You’re beautiful.”

You whipped your head up and looked at Alexia with wide eyes. “What?”

“I think you look really beautiful right now,” Alexia exhaled and stepped forward. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. “That is why I’m so awkward around you. I just don’t know how to act. I get nervous around pretty girls.”

You laughed and Alexia took it as an opportunity to pull you in for a kiss, swallowing all your laughter.

Alexia became addicted to the scent of vanilla.

—

Turns out Alexia did suck at romance. She missed dates, forgot to call you back and was a bad texter. The first week Alexia didn’t think her thing with you was going to last. She really was terrible.

But weeks turned into months and despite the missed dinners, you stayed patient. You were there in her kitchen with takeout at 10 p.m., waiting for Alexia’s meeting to end. You were there at 7 in the morning before Alexia left for training, a bag of pastries in hand. Alexia would happily munch on her guilty pleasures on the way to training, quickly getting rid of any traces of crime from her nutritionists.

You didn’t get tired of her even though Alexia stupidly didn’t move an inch the first time you initiated a kiss. You only laughed when you first stayed the night at Alexia’s place and Alexia offered her bed while she slept in one of her spare bedrooms. You didn’t mind that you sent paragraphs of text only for Alexia to reply with one or two words—you didn’t get mad, instead you would call Alexia to get her reply because you knew Alexia preferred talking instead of texting.

And Alexia was never the one to show affection. Pats on the back between teammates were appropriate. Hugs were awkward. She kissed each of her exes once or twice. 

You were different and you were persistent. You liked hugs. You hugged Alexia any chance you could get. You preferred to cuddle during movie nights and you liked to hug Alexia from behind when she was cooking dinner. The fact that Alexia tensed whenever you hugged her just made you hug her even tighter.

Strangely, Alexia didn’t find it uncomfortable. If she did, she would've said something. But Alexia actually liked your hugs. 

(“Are all hugs like this?”

“What do you mean ‘are all hugs like this’?

“I don’t know, Alba. Like- you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” 

“God, you’re nauseating.”

“I’m asking a genuine question!”

“You are in love that's what it is.”)

Five months into your relationship, Alexia started to be the one initiating the hugs. She was more affectionate; intertwining your hand with hers when you walk side-by-side and kissing you goodbye in front of your friends, not caring about the whistles thrown at you.

Alexia still missed dates and phone calls, but strangely enough you still didn’t seem to mind. Alexia was left dumbfounded because how were you perfectly fine with all of this? There was a reason why Alexia’s past relationships never lasted.

“I know you’re busy, baby. And I know you’re trying your best too.” you once said. Alexia almost shed a tear because how were you so. damn. perfect?

After eight months of being together, Alexia was juggling her relationship and football much better. She canceled an important meeting for the first time ever because she promised that she would pick you and your parents up from the airport.

Alba called her crazy, and her past self definitely would agree with Alba. Alexia didn’t care though. The smile on your face when Alexia showed up with flowers in hand was priceless.

“What are you daydreaming about?”

“Hm?” Alexia looked to the side and found you staring at her. “Nothing.”

You laughed, setting your book aside and rested your head on Alexia’s chest. Alexia wrapped her arms around your smaller frame and kissed the top of your head.

“If you say so,” you lazily drew circles on Alexia’s stomach. “What should we get for dinner?”

“What do you want?”

“You always ask me what I want,” you giggled. “Can you choose for tonight?”

Alexia hummed in thought and after a moment she added, “Pizza it is.”

You immediately sat upright, a huge grin on your face. “You really are a mind reader, you know?”

Alexia shrugged, a smile at the corner of her lips. “I told you.”

You shook your head fondly, laughing as you laid back down to your previous position.

“I love you, Ale.”

I love you. Right. Alexia should probably say it back at some point.

But should she even say it back? Wasn’t that too soon? Alexia didn’t know when the appropriate time of reciprocating your girlfriend’s confession of love would be.

When she asked Alba about it, Alba questioned her back asking if the reason she hadn’t said it back was because she didn’t feel the same way you did—which was stupid. Alexia made sure to throw her popcorn across the couch, all the way to Alba’s face, because what kind of stupid question was that?

The first time you said those three words to Alexia, Alexia accidentally sliced her finger instead of the tomato on her chopping board. It was three months after you became official and Alexia wasn’t expecting it. Not that soon, at least. But you did and Alexia was so caught off guard that you two had to halt your cooking session and order sushi for dinner instead. Alexia didn’t bring up the topic again all night and you didn’t either.

Just because Alexia didn’t say it back didn’t mean she didn’t love you. 

Or… maybe Alba was right. Did she love you? 

You, who were the most understanding and loving person Alexia had ever met. You, who made her laugh in the mornings and made her laugh before she went to sleep. You, who were never mad at Alexia when she forgot to call despite promising that she would.

“Being in love with someone and just enjoying their company are completely different things, you know that right?”

“What?” Alexia looked at her sister in disbelief. “Of course I do.”

“Cool. So which one is it with you?”

“Which one?”

Alba rolled her eyes. “Are you in love with her or do you just like having her around?”

In Alexia’s defense, she didn’t have much experience of being in love. How was she supposed to know whatever that feeling was like? The only relationship she had was with Jenni and that didn't work out because they were both too busy to have a relationship. Was she ever in love with Jenni? Maybe not. A crush, sure. Jenni was an attractive woman.

Was it the same with you? Alexia liked you a lot, that was for sure. Was it so much to the point that it was love?

Alexia figured if this was Jenni, she wouldn’t have to think about this so much. Jenni didn’t care about love and all the cliché things. Alexia didn’t either. 

And Alexia wouldn’t have cared so much if it weren’t for the fact that you told Alexia you loved her every chance you got. (Alexia felt like the world’s biggest asshole every time you got silence instead of her saying it back).

When it rained and Alexia always held the umbrella for the two of you, making sure not a single droplet of rain fell on top of your head but ended up soaking wet herself, you would laugh and “I love you, Alexia Putellas.” 

When you had to move out of your apartment and Alexia told you that you could stay with her until you found a place because she did have some spare rooms (even though you ended up sleeping in Alexia’s bed every night), “Really? Alexia Putellas, my saviour, thank you, I love you,” as you peppered her face with kisses.

When Alexia found out that Maria, your best friend, was also your first love, you reassured her that all your feelings for Maria were now strictly platonic. “She was my first love, but that was years ago. I love you. You’re my present and my future, Alexia Putellas.”

When you came home with Alexia for Christmas and some of her family members kept on sending wary glances towards you, you held Alexia’s hand on top of the dinner table and proclaimed your love for her for everyone to hear, your chin up and your tone proud. “I love Alexia. I’ll take care of her the best way I can.”

When Alexia would pick you up from classes, leaning against her grey Cupra, you would sprint towards her, a big smile on your face and a “You didn’t have to pick me up, I know you’re a busy woman. Love you.”

Every single time Alexia would return a smile or a kiss, never saying it back when she knew you were expecting it every single time. Alexia realized romance wasn’t as easy as she thought and this whole thing with you was bound to blow up if she didn’t get her shit together.

—

Turns out, it did blow up sooner than Alexia expected. She wished this point never came—she knew it would, she had been dreading it ever since—but Alexia cursed the stars for actually making it happen. She just wanted to at least hold you for another night.

You two were getting ready for bed, Alexia changing into her pyjamas while you were already tucked in bed and you two were fine. 

Alexia was talking about her day, how her mom scolded her because she was five minutes late to breakfast (which was insane because it was only five minutes), about the meeting she had for a possible new brand deal, and how she missed you the entire day. And maybe Alexia should’ve noticed how quiet you were or how your body tensed the moment Alexia slid her arms under the cover and wrapped them around your waist.

When Alexia thought you had fallen asleep, you spoke, just barely above a whisper.

“I love you.”

It was silent—so silent that Alexia could hear a hair pin drop. She didn’t know why this night felt different. Alexia didn’t know why there was an edge to your voice and why there was something else she couldn’t quite place.

You turned around to face your girlfriend. Alexia could make out the faint outlines of your face in the dark—she had memorized every single inch of you.

“I love you, Alexia,” you stated once more. This time Alexia could clearly hear the challenge in your tone.

Alexia stared back at you, a sinking feeling started to settle in the pit of her stomach.

Seconds passed by, Alexia saw the mixture of emotions all over your face. You were hurt, Alexia could tell. You looked angry too, this Alexia wasn’t expecting. 

“Do you love me?”

Alexia was taken aback by the bluntness of the question. “What?”

“Do. you. love. me?” your tone turned impatient.

Alexia was wide-eyed. This wasn’t where she was expecting this night to go. “y/n—”

You got up from the bed and Alexia followed suit. You two were standing in front of each other on the foot of the bed, you with your arms across your chest and a scowl on your face. 

“Hey, what’s going on?

“‘What’s going on’?” you scoffed. “Do you love me or not? I asked you a simple question, Alexia.”

“I—” Alexia‘s voice got stuck in her throat. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t like that she was being put on the spot like this either.

You stayed silent, an expectant look on your face. When Alexia didn’t say anything else, you let out a big sigh.

“y/n…” Alexia croaked out. She was afraid where this conversation would go.

You groaned, taking a fistful of your hair before exploding at Alexia. “It’s a simple fucking question, Alexia!”

Alexia was taken aback by your outburst. “I—”

You stepped forward, a fiery look in your eyes. “I. Love. You.” you punctured each word with a jab to Alexia’s chest. 

Alexia stared into your eyes, seeing the mixture of rage, sadness and disappointment swimming around in them. Alexia knew she should say something—she should say the one thing she knew you wanted to hear. But why was it so hard for her to utter those words? Was it because she didn’t feel it? Or was it because she was scared? Alexia didn’t know, she needed to think, but you weren't letting her.

“You don’t love me, do you?” your tone was full of defeat. Alexia knew that it was now or never. She was going to lose you—really lose you—if she didn’t say something. “All this time you never said it. I tried to make sense of it, I tried to make sense of you. You got me flowers every week—sometimes even twice a week. You listen when I ramble about useless things, you accompany me to my lame university events, let people talk to you about politics and you never talk back to them even though I know you have opposite views on things. You just want my friends to like you. You remember all the dumb little things, remember when we first met and what I was wearing at that time. You tell me I look good even though I stayed up all night doing my assignments, you tell me I’m beautiful at five in the morning, at midnight, in the middle of the day. You look at me like you’re in love with me. Like you love me.” 

You paused and took a deep breath. You gave a bitter laugh before looking straight into Alexia’s eyes. “You do all these things but you never told me that you love me. Not even once, Ale. And once upon a time, I believed you loved me. But I just—I don’t know anymore.”

Alexia stayed silent. 

“You’re not even gonna say anything?”

Alexia stayed silent because she didn’t know how to say anything without hurting you even more.

“So it’s true, then?” your tone was full of defeat, your eyes shining with unshed tears. Alexia hated herself for being the cause of it.

“y/n,” Alexia whispered, her hands reaching out to touch you but you moved away. “I—”

“No,” you ran a hand through your hair and gave a humourless laugh. “Just, save it, Alexia. I think I heard you loud and clear.”

When you slammed the door shut, Alexia felt the sobs at the back of her throat but she swallowed them. To cry meant she regretted everything that led you to walk out. 

Alexia did this to herself. She was the reason you left, Alexia didn’t deserve to cry. So Alexia stared out her window all night, wondering whether the reason her heart hurt so much was because the feeling she had for you was love all along and she was just too dumb to realize.

—

When Alexia didn’t get a single ‘I love you, beautiful’ in the middle of a meeting and when no one was there to kiss her goodnight and whispers of ‘I love you’, Alexia wondered how dumb she was to let everything slip from her fingers.

—

Maria came by her house a few days after you left, saying that you had asked her to pack your stuff up. Alexia couldn’t do anything else but let her in and watched as your things that were scattered around her house were shoved into boxes.

Alexia didn't say anything, she couldn’t ask Maria where you were staying now or if you were okay. Alexia figured she didn't deserve an answer. 

“Is this y/n’s?” Maria was holding a stuffed teddy bear, one of its eyes missing and an embroidery of your initials seen on its left chest.

“No,” Alexia lied, taking the teddy and sending your best friend a small smile hoping that she was convincing enough. “It's mine. I know I’m too old to own one of these… it has… sentimental values.”

Maria nodded and Alexia had a feeling that Maria knew she was lying, that she knew exactly that it was your favourite teddy bear and that Alexia lied because she wanted to keep a part of you to herself. 

“Okay then, I’ll get going,” Maria lifted the last of the boxes and gave Alexia an awkward smile. 

Alexia nodded and gestured towards the door. “I’ll walk you out.”

Once the back of Maria’s car was filled with your things, it dawned on Alexia that you were really gone.

You weren't talking to her anymore and there weren't any of your things left in Alexia’s house. There was no more reason for you to come back and Alexia had to force a smile on her face, not wanting to cry, especially not in front of Maria.

“Actually, uhm,” Maria cleared her throat. “y/n has something for you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Maria gave an awkward laugh before reaching into her car and pulling out an envelope. “She told me to give you this.”

Alexia took the envelope with shaky hands, once again forcing a smile onto her face. “Thanks.”

Maria was looking at her with so much pity in her eyes and a part of Alexia was angry at her, because just like Maria, she pitied herself too. How could she ruin such a good relationship? She felt pathetic and she understood why Maria was looking at her that way.

“Alexia, look,” Maria stepped forward and placed a hand on the captain’s arm. “I honestly think you two will get through this.”

Alexia gave a bitter laugh at that. Was Maria mocking her now? “She packed all of her things. Well, you did, but it doesn’t matter. What part of all of this still makes you think that she’ll come back? Because I don’t think she will. I screwed up. She is not coming back. It’s fine, I’ll live.” Alexia hated how despite trying to act unaffected, anyone could hear the shakiness in her voice.

Maria squeezed her arm lightly. “She loves you. And right now she doesn’t think that you love her back, which I know isn’t the case.”

“How? You don’t know what I’m feeling,” Alexia felt her defensiveness kick in. “What if she’s right and I don’t love her, not even a little bit?”

Maria shook her head and gave a soft smile. “You seem to forget that I’ve been in your place before. I know what it looks like to love y/n—to be in love with her. You can’t lie to me.”

Alexia crossed her arms. She didn’t know why she was getting annoyed at where the conversation was going. “Then why don’t you go be with her?”

Maria laughed at that. “Because she loves you, not me, silly. Plus, I’m in love with your sister.”

Alexia didn’t say anything in reply and Maria took that as a cue to leave. Before getting in her car, she looked at Alexia one last time. “Contrary to what you think, you haven’t really lost her—not for good anyway.”

“I appreciate your optimism,” Alexia replied, her voice lacking any enthusiasm.

“I know that if you show up in front of her right now and tell her how you really feel, she’ll take you back in a heartbeat. She loves you.”

“Then why did she ask you to pack her things?” Alexia challenged back. “If she still loves me like you claimed, wouldn’t she be fine with seeing my face and not having to avoid me? And she wouldn’t just- just leave.”

“Ale, you two broke up over something so stupid. I can’t for the love of me figure out why- how something so simple can—” Maria palmed her forehead, letting out a sigh. “Just tell her you love her. What’s so hard about that?”

“Because I don’t know if I do!” Alexia shouted frustratedly. “Okay?”

Maria softened at that and gave Alexia a reassuring smile. “I have a feeling that you already know the answer,” she shrugged. “Think it through. Don’t take too long.” 

And with that Maria left, leaving Alexia standing with your envelope in her hands. She took a deep breath and opened it. Alexia expected a long letter—maybe of you ranting about how much you hated her for breaking your heart, or pages filled with curses and how you never wanted to see her again. But all she got was a small piece of paper with one sentence and a bracelet that Alexia gave you on your one month anniversary.

it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way I do, don't beat yourself up

-y/n

—

When days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and Alexia still hadn’t heard from you, Alexia realized she finally lost you for good. Alexia realized that maybe she should’ve taken Maria’s advice, but she had put it off so much that now it had been months and who was to say that you hadn’t already found someone new? Someone who actually loved you.

The thought caused Alexia to finally bawl her eyes out, exactly three months after you left. Alexia let herself feel all the pain and hurt, savoring every little twinge in her heart because she deserved it all. She hurt you, she didn’t deserve anything good anymore.

Alba pulled her out of bed, telling her to get her shit together and usually Alexia was never the one to dwell on things—once you fall, you get back up. 

But this time it was different. Alexia felt that this was it. How could she recover from all this hurt when all she wanted was your smile back? Alexia thought that if she was given a choice, she would rather lose the Ballon d’Or than to lose you—that was how important you were to her. Alexia knew she was dumb to not realize it sooner.

Despite Alexia’s complete despair about the whole thing, Alba was adamant that Alexia could do something about it. Alba was the one who told her to woman up and chase after her girl and “Seriously, hermana? I know I said you’re terrible at romance but don’t let that define you?! Do something!”

One night, Alexia discovered a pub not far from her place. No one was there except for her and one bartender. It was nice, Alexia could drink as much as she wanted without any judgment from anyone, and most importantly, she could think.

Alexia had a list and it went something like this:

Do I love y/n? 

Can I get y/n back

Do I even deserve y/n back

Am I in love with y/n

Does y/n still love me

How can y/n be so perfect

Do. I. Love. Her

Alexia was brooding and drowning in her sorrows, everything seemed so wrong. It all seemed so difficult and it took hours of being alone, surrounded by alcohol, for Alexia to finally realize that it was actually simple.

Well, the drink definitely helped, but a song was playing on the speakers and Alexia would think that it was odd for a Taylor Swift song to be playing there if it weren’t for the fact that she was the only customer that night and the bartender probably just didn’t care about his song choices.

“Let me get this straight,” Alba said slowly, sipping on her coffee. It was the morning after and a Saturday, Alba was always at Alexia’s at 7 a.m.  “You had an epiphany… because of a song you heard?”

“Yes,” Alexia nodded. “It’s actually very simple.”

“Very simple…?”

“This whole thing. I’m in love with y/n.” Alba choked on her coffee and Alexia patted her back. “A shocker,” Alexia grimaced at Alba’s coughs. “I know.”

“What kind of song led you to this conclusion?” 

“Taylor Swift.”

“No fucking way.”

“What?” Alexia shrugged. “Kissing on sidewalks, light-hearted jokes, coffees at midnight… they’re all simple things but it’s who you’re with that makes it all so special. And I had all the things that the song mentioned with y/n, and they meant a lot to me—even though these things seem trivial, I cherish them a lot because I felt happy and- and in love. I get it now.”

Alba was stunned, Alexia could see with the way her eyes were widened and mouth agape.

“So this is definitely months overdue. Maybe I should’ve looked for y/n right after Maria took her things away, but it is what it is. I want to make things right. Help me, please.”

“Finally,” Alba sighed, a smile slowly forming on her lips. “I know where she lives now. Will you promise me not to break her heart anymore, because she's my girlfriend’s best friend and I really can’t have you breaking her heart again.”

Alexia grinned as Alba told her your address.

—

To get you back, Alexia had a plan (courtesy of Miss Taylor Swift):

Stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain

Say “It’s been a long three months and I was too afraid to tell you what I want”

Say “I want you for worse or for better. I would wait forever and ever. Broke your heart, I'll put it back together”

Remind her how it used to be

—

“Hi.”

Your eyes immediately widened once you saw Alexia. 

You stared at the girl in front of you for a good minute. Alexia had to hug herself tighter, her teeth chattering from the cold. “Are you going to let me in? Besides it being so cold, I don’t want your neighbour to see me in these.” Alexia gestured towards the baby pink sweatshirt with tiny puppies she was wearing. 

“You’re—”

“Insane?” Alexia grinned. Exactly like what the Taylor Swift song said. This was going as planned.

“No- well that too,” you said, looking at Alexia in disbelief. “What I meant to say is that you’re drenched.”

“Yes,” Alexia agreed. “It is raining.”

“Exactly! Why are you out in the rain?”

“Because- because I’m supposed to stand here like a ghost, shaking from the rain.” Alexia had a smile on her lips, hoping that you would smile back at her because that would mean that you didn’t hate her.

So when you laughed in disbelief and shook your head, ushering her inside, Alexia breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Do you want some tea?” you offered.

“No, thank you.”

“Right, my bad,” you opened your fridge, taking something out. “What I meant to offer is milk,” you placed the tiny sized milk carton on the kitchen counter and sat across Alexia. “I still can’t believe you drink this.“

“You don’t drink milk,” Alexia stated.

You shrugged, your cheeks showing a hint of pink. “This has been a permanent thing on my grocery list. It’s second nature. I guess.”

Alexia stayed silent. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but she wasn’t expecting this. Maybe she was expecting you to hate her. For you to slam the door in her face and never talk to her again. 

With how your last interaction turned out, Alexia was expecting you to be more angry, or to be anything other than to welcome Alexia into your new apartment and provide her with her favourite drink that you still bought even though you two broke up months ago.

It wasn’t making any sense to her. 

“How are you so civil towards me?” Alexia blurted out.

“I’m sorry?”

“You didn’t slam the door in my face.”

You looked confused. “Was I supposed to do that?”

“No!” Alexia quickly said. “I mean- it’s nice that you didn’t slam the door in my face. I think I would’ve, if I were you.”

“Oh. Well. I don’t think I’m the type to slam the door in my ex’s face.”

Alexia laughed softly. “Thanks.”

“Welcome,” you grinned. A warm feeling settled in Alexia’s chest because she really missed that smile.

The silence that followed was nice. Alexia’s eyes darted around your apartment as she sipped on her strawberry milk. You poured yourself a cup of tea and it was still funny how your choice of drink was more mature than Alexia’s despite being five years younger than her. 

“So what brings you here?” you broke the silence.

“Oh,” Alexia rubbed the back of her neck. “Why I came here…” Alexia trailed off.

“Why you came here…” you copied.

Alexia gave a nervous laugh. She had a whole speech planned out, but now you were staring at her and Alexia was surprised that your eyes that used to look at Alexia with so much love were still looking at her the exact same way. 

That, and combined with the fact that Alexia couldn’t spot a single trace of anger in your face despite what Alexia did, made her burst into tears.

Here was the thing: Alexia disliked crying. That was obvious with the way Alexia cried for you months after you left and not the days that followed. Alexia was convinced that crying was a sign of weakness, so whenever she felt hot tears at the back of her eyes, she would always squeeze her eyes shut and push them away.

It was surprising to her that she was openly letting her tears fall in the middle of her ex’s kitchen, her chest shaking as her cries became harder.

Alexia felt you next to her and the next thing she knew, she was being pulled into your arms. She could hear the pounding of your heart and she could feel your gentle kisses on the top of her head. It felt good and it made Alexia realize that letting her emotions show wasn’t so bad.

“I’m sorry.”

“Hm?”

“I’m really sorry for being so oblivious about things,” Alexia croaked out. “Sorry for hurting you. I never meant to.”

“Alexia—”

“Let me finish,” Alexia interrupted, turning in her chair to face you. She looked up into your warm eyes and took a deep breath. She could do this. Just like what she practiced. “Uhm- it’s been a long three months. I was too afraid to tell you what I want—”

“You are not quoting Taylor Swift,” you were holding in your laughter. “Are you?”

“y/n,” Alexia groaned. “I don’t know how to do this, okay? But Taylor Swift said—”

You laughed so hard and Alexia felt the warmness back in her chest. “Sorry it’s just,” you sighed fondly. “You hate Taylor Swift, Ale.”

“I don’t! I just don’t know her well enough to like her,” Alexia corrected. “There’s a difference.” 

“Mhmm, sure.”

“I listened to a couple of her songs and they weren’t that bad. Plus, the lyrics really resonated with me.”

“So all this speech is just you telling me you like Taylor Swift now?”

Alexia rolled her eyes, ignoring your remark. “No. There was one song about being in love, and it was so-” Alexia’s voice grew smaller, her cheeks reddening before she could finish her sentence. “It describes how I feel about you. It helped me… understand my feelings.”

You had an amused look on your face, almost smug. Alexia’s face kept on flushing under your gaze. “Hm. How so?”

“Oh you know,” Alexia started fidgeting with her hands on top of the kitchen counter, looking everywhere but you. “Just… That I understand why they lost their minds and fought the wars.”

You were quiet before you burst out laughing. Alexia had an offended look on her face yet she was smiling nonetheless. “Excuse me,” Alexia chastised. “I’m trying to confess something here.”

You immediately pursed your lips but not a second later the laughters were back. “Sorry,” you said once your laughter died down. “You’ve been quoting Taylor Swift the entire night. Who are you, Alexia Putellas?”

“Can you not?” Alexia pouted. “I’m not good at this, you know that.”

Alexia could feel your hands cupping her cheeks, causing them to burn under your touch. All this felt awfully familiar and Alexia had to remind herself that you were broken up.

Taking a deep breath while still having you so near, Alexia continued. “I can’t remember what to say next. Maybe because you’re too close,” Alexia bluntly said. When a hint of hurt and confusion flashed across your face, Alexia was quick to clarify. “You’re making me nervous, y/n. It’s- I’m just so nervous. You know I always get nervous around you. Can you please stand at least five feet away?”

You shook her head in amusement and moved away, sitting on your previous spot across from Alexia. “You’re ridiculous.”

Alexia smiled sheepishly. “I think what’s ridiculous is how we’re broken up yet it doesn’t feel like it right now.”

“It does, doesn’t it,” you had your eyes casted downwards, a wistful smile on your lips. ‘Remind her how it used to be’, checked.

“I’m sorry I screwed things up. You know how dumb I can be sometimes.”

“Yeah,” you scrunched up her nose. “You can be pretty dumb sometimes.”

“Hey!”

“But I still love you nonetheless.” And there it was again, the challenge in your tone. Alexia was transported back to that night three months ago when you left.

“Okay…” Alexia dragged on. “I know what you’re expecting and honestly I don’t know why it took me so long to realize it but—” Alexia took a deep breath. 

“I don’t have much experience with love and believe it or not, I’ve never been in love before. I just don’t find it important. What was important to me was football and being the best in the world, making sure my legacy lives on and how my dad would be proud of me, wherever he is. So if you’d ask me what love was a year ago, my paper would turn out blank, because I just don’t care. Alba kept on making jokes about how I’m going to end up alone and—” Alexia laughed. “Frankly, it wasn’t even a joke because I was pretty sure it would come true. But then I met you, and I was so determined to prove Alba wrong because I can care about someone other than football, but then you left, and I was back to the sinking feeling that maybe I’m just not meant for anyone. And before you say anything, y/n, I know I can overthink sometimes—or maybe a lot. But uhm- you being gone, it forced me to think and I realized that it’s actually a lot simpler than what I imagined.”

“Alexia, breathe,” you interrupted, a fond look on your face. 

Alexia took a deep breath, she didn’t realize how much she was rambling. “Sorry,” Alexia smiled sheepishly, scratching at the back of her neck nervously. “What I meant to say is—“

You caught Alexia’s hands that were waving around crazily in front of her. “I think,” you laughed, you intertwined your fingers and Alexia had to take another deep breath because she forgot what a sight it was to see your hands locked. “I really think you should breathe first.”

Alexia gave a nervous laugh. “I don’t know why I’m so all over the place with you. I can win championships, but with you… I had to practice my speech in front of a stupid mirror, because I know this will happen. This, as in me throwing up words- God, I’m such a mess.”

“You practiced in front of a mirror?” 

“Huh? Yeah,” Alexia’s cheeks grew red. “Of course I did…”

You let go of Alexia’s hands and leaned back. “Well then, go on.”

“Huh?” Alexia squeaked.

“Yes, your speech. We wouldn’t want your practice to go to waste now, do we?” you were smiling and Alexia really wanted to kiss that smile away. 

“Fine. Yes. My speech.” Alexia took a deep breath. “y/n. Love is… Love is mornings with you and how your smile is the first thing I see when I wake up. Love is the sound of your laughter echoing throughout the supermarket aisle when I did a stupid dance after getting the last box of mac and cheese. Love is the nights spent together, feeling the rise and fall of your chest and how you talk in your sleep. Love is the silence on the way home, when we’re both too tired to talk, but it’s nice and I don’t mind it. Love is the way your hands instantly find mine every single time. And I know that love isn’t perfect because love is me breaking your heart and unknowingly breaking mine too. Love is scary because love is lowering your guards down and putting your heart on a damn silver platter and giving your person the chance to ruin you. But I’d let you, y/n. I’d give you a million chances to ruin me because I love you.” 

Your stare was intense and Alexia had to look away. “Te amo. I do. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it, and I know it has been months and a lot has changed… but I’m here, if you want me. I am all yours. Because I love you. I’ve been in love with you ever since the first night, I think.”

Alexia forced herself to look back at you, her eyes locking with her favourite pair of orbs. “I want you for worse or for better, mi amor, and I would wait forever for you. I know I broke your heart, but I promise I'll put it back together.”

You had a smile on your lips and your eyebrow raised after Alexia’s last sentence and Alexia wanted to celebrate internally because maybe Taylor Swift was a genius after all.

But when you didn’t say anything else, Alexia’s smile dropped and she had to accept that you could very well reject her. It had been months. A lot could happen in three months.

Alexia could feel the start of pain in her chest but then you laughed and Alexia’s eyes widened because why would you be laughing if you were going to reject her?

“You love me,” you stated.

Alexia was still staring at you. “I do…”

You went closer to her until your hands were back cupping Alexia’s face and that was when Alexia realized that you weren't rejecting her. Holy shit.

“You dummy,” your tone was light but Alexia turned serious.

“I know,” Alexia sucked in a deep breath. “I was a terrible girlfriend, amor. I don’t know how you loved me when all I did was mess up, but I promise that I’ll be better if you—”

“We all mess up,” you interjected. “We’re not perfect, baby. And you’re gonna mess up again in the future and I will too, but we’ll get through it together.”

Alexia was silent, taking in your words. “So uhm,” Alexia had to contain herself from grinning from ear-to-ear. “You still want to be with me?”

Instead of answering, you leaned down and kissed her. Alexia let herself grin into the kiss and she swore that she would do whatever it takes to never lose you again.

—

Ale: I got the girl *insert smiling face with sunglasses emoji*

Albs: what

Albs: just use the emoji wtf weirdo

Ale: Thank you, Taylor Swift

Albs: you’re seriously so weird

Albs: how are we related?

Albs: but anyway congratulations 

Albs: you won’t end up as a cat lady after all :D

Ale: Fuck off, Alba. You know I’m allergic to cats

—

** INTERVIEW NOTES:

ALEXIA PUTELLAS

SHE SMELLS NICE Y/N !!! FOCUS

VERY SERIOUS, ONLY LAUGHED ONCE

JUST TOLD HER TO SMILE MORE BECAUSE SHE HAS A PRETTY SMILE WILL SHE KICK ME OUT

SHE LIKES TACOS ??? IS THIS EVEN IMPORTANT 

SMART, INTELLIGENT, VERY ELOQUENT WITH WORDS !!! JUST TAKE MY HEART ALREADY ALEXIA PUTELLAS 

HER EYES CRINKLE WHEN SHE LAUGHS OMFG ADORABLE

I THINK I’M IN LOVE

SHE JUST ASKED ME WHAT I’M WRITING DOWN

BYE

—

a/n: this was a looong one hope you enjoyed it, loves !!! please let me know your thoughts :) :) :)

[riewritten]

𝐎𝐈𝐋 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒 · CHAPTER THREE · AO3

˚ · .─ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: YOU, a college student in Frankfurt, start receiving emails that embarked the dim of normalcy you worked so hard to build on your own; starting from a message claiming you as the light amidst the hell of Kinderheim, who came just in time to bring a paradise of doomsday and grime, something that pleased the monster inside him. Initially, you thought of reporting the email as spam until another ding came: the monster, so pleased and full, is aiming to return the favor—something to flesh out the paradise you had granted him back at Kinderheim.

˚ · .─ 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎: Johan Liebert/Fem!reader | 3.9k words

˚ · .─ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: explicit language, canon-typical violence, stalking, manipulation, obsessive tendencies, paranoia, abduction, threats of sexual assault, among many things that might arise.

The fine young blonde who'd help you erase your identity—as Anna had claimed—was formerly affiliated with the state security council. His stay was recent, short, and even Anna didn’t know the scope of his job, but this very background gave him the expertise and network to agent people who need to change identities in pursuit of securing their lives.

Anna gave you the basic physical description needed to recognize him, the meet-up location, and a warning: don't bring too much, don't wear too much—the last thing you want to happen is attract attention when your main mission is to vanish.

The warning was supposed to be intimidating, but the rustling leaves and bustling cars of evening Frankfurt brought you solace somehow. Indeed, you might be disappearing for everyone who had known you, but the little things you could still see either way would be as persistent as your existence.

Somewhere, somehow, despite this being your first time, you're so used to doing it. 

The ripped paper which contains Anna's pretty handwriting of the meet up place slipped from your fingers. You rush to it, albeit in a fluster. It is until a man catches it with his hand that you stop.

You catch up to him and profusely apologize, “My hands seem a bit cold. I didn't expect the weather today. Apologies.”

He hums, gently so, and hands you the piece of paper, “At least I caught it.”

Just as if the cold evening air couldn't get any cooler, his voice did its wonders. And you also perk up upon realizing he looks exactly like… “Anna?”

But no, it's not Anna. His hair is short, parted in the middle, and it's a much lighter shade of blonde. His eyes are bluer and his skin is quite paler.

This is the exact same description Anna had given you. It didn't take long for him to realize it, too, “So you're the one I'll be spending the evening with, aren't you?” 

The next thing you feel is a very uncanny familiarity that you quickly brush off because, well, of course he'd look familiar because he almost bears the same face as Anna.

“She didn't tell me I was about to meet a relative,” you shake his hand and tell him your name. “And you are…?”

“Pleasure to meet you,” he smiles, and yet he doesn't bother giving you his name.

His job is niche, and as much as you’d like to talk and know more about his line of work, this man seems to prefer anonymity. You are yet to adjust to that, hence you let him lead the way first. Futilely, you're not able to help yourself as you walk together towards a nearby restaurant. “What shall I call you, mister…?”

“I'm someone who must remain distant from you,” he responds, looking your way, wondering if you immediately get his cryptic point. But you don't—not at all—so he instead prompts, “Want a clue?”

“Uh… yes,” you raise a brow, “make it make sense for me.”

“The things we're about to do in pursuit of your goal doesn't make any sense in the eyes of a normal person either.” Well, he's right. “Pray tell, why were you referred to me?”

“I'm running away from someone. Anna said you could help me erase my identity and start anew.”

He chuckles lightly, “Yes, that's the most common reason I get.”

And the walk goes tormentingly silent again. You want to ask more, but for some reason your brain couldn't articulate it. Why the lurking uncomfortability? Is it because of how poised and graceful he walks? Of how chivalrous he seems when he ushers you to your seat and arranges the meal after the waiter placed it on your table? Or is it because he resembles Anna so much? It's unlikely for you to act like a moth too entranced with the light, unbeknownst how it could potentially burn your wings into a crisp. But in your defense, it's also rare to encounter a person as enigmatic as him.

“A longer look and I might not be able to hold my fluster,” he quips without dropping his food nor looking up at you. You're not convinced he's actually starting to get flustered. The comment is surely intended to fluster you instead.

“I'm sorry,” you avert your gaze away, “but you see, I think I might need to know more about you so I could trust you enough with what we're about to do. E-even the simple name telling would be fine for me.”

“But exchanging names is the first step to develop attachments and mark existence. Given my job to eradicate every trace of you in this world, wouldn't it be counterproductive of us to get to know each other?” Why is his way of talking a bit too uncanny? You almost blurt out. When minutes pass and the befuddled look on your face still doesn’t subside, he offers a proposition. “Let's see… to make things easier, do you perhaps have a name you quite disdain?

“I quite disdain…?”

“Call me by a name you quite disdain in order to keep your distance,” he concurs. “I’m sure you’ll benefit from this, too.”

Something that will benefit you. Something that will benefit you. Something that will benefit you—a ding of light clicked in your brain. You sigh defeatedly and say, “Johan. I'd like to call you Johan.”

His reaction to that, albeit subtle, ran shivers down your spine. The unreadability of his smile scares you. As if Johan sensed it, he gulps the urge to chuckle by nodding and asking, “Is that a name you're most uncomfortable to use?”

“Very much so.”

“How strange. Why, when Johan is such a wonderful name?”

Despite knowing the reason very well, you refuse to answer. See, if you’re fearing the name Johan because of your sinister childhood friend, then what if you take this first step? Disassociate this name away from the Kinderheim boy. Project it to a perfect stranger. Maybe, by the end of your time with this agent, you’re already over from fearing the measly name.

Indeed, that is something that would benefit you above anything else.

The rest of the night went with Johan briefing you about certain protocols when meeting him, all the while expertly dodging your questions about him. Johan might have a point why he prefers not to expound about his identity, but perhaps, even moths do not understand the danger of flames waiting upon their curious and entranced heads until they finally have it, and it just so happens that you're no different from them. And so you expertly track the conversation into asking something personal about Johan.

It is until he chuckled defeatedly did you halt, “I understand, I understand. At least I'm confident you wouldn't be easily swayed by anyone once you settle in a new place with a new identity. But didn't Anna tell you enough about me? I'm certain I told her to orient you before meeting me tonight.”

“She didn't tell me that much, otherwise I wouldn't be this curious.”

“You see, how much must you know about a person enough to trust them?”

“Mr. Johan, I just want to make sure you're not here to murder me along the way.”

Johan seems amused at the remark, to say the least, “Perhaps you should just arm yourself while you're with me then. Who knows when I'd pull my shenanigans at you.”

“Oh well, I suppose you watch me run my heart off later as soon as we finish eating.”

“Why not now? You can’t tell how much mercy I could share tonight.” 

If not for Anna's humor, you would certainly not be chuckling right now. “One of your mercy included bringing me to a place like this. The food you've bought for me melts in my mouth quite nicely. If I start running only to be caught, at least I'll die a happy girl.”

“You can say that's one of my ways to entice my clients. Savor my mercy by all means.”

You roll your eyes with a smile. Needless to say that the uncomfortability subsided quite a bit. At least you were able to know that Mr. Johan, whoever he might be, is someone who holds the same vibe as your friends. Perhaps the journey with him would be a little less lonely.

A week after, Johan laid out five steps you have to do alongside him.

Target a place to settle down.

An unpopulated town would be the best choice. They usually have landlords who don't require much legal documents before accepting tenants. Johan will arrange the needed documents for your new identity, but that doesn't mean you'll flaunt it wherever. You must only show them when absolutely necessary.

Accumulate a huge sum of money.

Johan doesn’t care how and how much. All you have to do is ensure that it will suffice your expenses while adjusting to your new place.

“But honestly, you don’t need to worry about that too much.”

“Why?”

Johan shrugs, “You could say a special friend wants you to be at ease, hence they took care of it in your stead.”

Anna!

You beam upon realization. It's been a while since you've seen Anna. You rarely even go back to your apartment complex. You're starting to be absent oftenly at school, too. “Does that mean—” you couldn’t help but be excited at the premise, “even if I managed to leave everyone who knew of my identity, Anna would be an exception? Oh, how lovely that'd be.”

Johan, as usual, does not give an answer. Perhaps it’s because your question is quite a given already, but deep inside you—a voice begging to be heard but dismissed for reasons unknown—there’s something in Johan’s reaction that needs to be pointed out. His features twitch; he looks like he’s about to laugh, sardonically so, even though his face barely moved at all. “Do you like Anna that much?”

“I do. I wouldn’t have found myself if not for her.”

“Why?”

“We're similar in so many ways. I'm not the type of person who could easily bond with others, but Anna made it seem so easy. You could call us a match-made in heaven, maybe?”

“And you wouldn't mind ceasing your existence if you get to be with her nonetheless?”

“Yes.”

There, you see Johan's face gleam. It is perhaps akin to satisfaction. In one glimpse you'd think his expression is similar to Anna's when she laid down beside you that night.

“You two must be siblings if not twins,” you blurt out, with which you immediately regretted. Shit, Johan doesn't like being asked personal questions!

Surprisingly, he shakes his head instead of dismissing you, “It's more complicated than that, but yes, that could be perhaps the nearest term to use.”

You nod, smiling, already satisfied that Johan entertained your question with a smile lighter than his usual blank one. You wonder if you had said something that pleased him so much, or maybe he just appreciates your wholesome relationship with Anna.

Step one and two were easily accomplished within two months. Hence, the succeeding steps pushed through.

Banish all your digital footprints.

Erase your email. Bother no more with the Monster spamming you there. You let out a chuckle. All the terror these emails have caused could finally be a memory to look back to. 

Write letters to the people who could potentially look for you if you're gone for too long.

Every loved one who would potentially go beyond measures to find you (and lose their heads while doing so) is a threat that must be tamed. The most important thing when you want to disappear without a trace is to minimize people's urges to search for you. The letter must include telling them that you want to do this, that this is something you decided for yourself, and that even if you're gone, you wouldn't be in any sort of danger.

This step finally resurfaced the reluctance of it all, albeit it's still not strong enough to cancel the whole plan. You don't want to be alone. The reluctance is coming from the irony of it all. Anna was right, you've been trying so hard to earn people's affection so you could stay with them, but the very reason for that is your attachment.

“Then leave them before they do it first. That way it would hurt less,” Johan replies.

His remark made you remember something about your childhood friend before the Kinderheim flames. Well, almost everything that's happening in your day could be a trigger to dream about him. 

Back in childhood, as much as you were glad that your little friend wouldn't be able to leave you so easily because of someone he mustn't forget, you started getting anxious by the fact that once Johan is together again with that person, he'd drop you alone all over again. You knew deep inside that once he granted your wish, he'll leave the sanctuary to be with the person he mustn't forget. Letting him do whatever he wanted was perhaps your own way to detach yourself—to lose the tiny bit of hope that you'll be friends forever.

This recollection intensified your guilt. Had Grimmer and Lunge known this side of you, they'd certainly regret trying to help you. You are an irredeemable monster, a voice inside you repeatedly mutters.

“You're right,” you smile defeatedly. “It's always been that way for me.”

The car halts to the apartment complex you started renting as a safety measure whenever you're out with Johan. That way, Johan coming across people like Grimmer, Lunge, and Frieda could be avoidable. “See you tomorrow, then.”

You heard him right and yet you're too conflicted to get off the car, fidgety and all, because of the unkind voices lurking inside your head. They are extra louder today.

“Would you—” you stammer, “would you like to have dinner upstairs before you go?”

You feel Johan's driver, Roberto, give you a quick glance as though your offer surprised him. He then gazes at the younger blonde, and eventually nods as if he understood him immediately.

“I know how clear you are with setting personal boundaries. I-I just feel bad for making you do this much as my agent,” you lie. “Don't worry. I'm not gonna ask anything personal either. I'll cook you a simple dinner and that's it.”

Johan, much to your surprise, gets off the car, opens the door by your side, and offers his hand with a smile. Now that you think of it, this is the first time you'll be feeling this agent's hand—that's how distant you two were for months of confiding in each other. It is until you touch him for real that you realize how familiar this feeling is. This certainly happened before, the sentence ringed in your head, even if this is the first time you've had his hand on yours. 

The dinner was silent. Johan knew exactly what you needed. A squint and everything would've felt quite intimate. Johan — as though showing you that he's human and not some ethereal being eating with you — picks up the table napkin from his lap and dabs it to the corner of his lips, yet it's still so poised, so refined, that you wonder if this dinner is actually with an agent and not a blind date Anna has set up for you.

It paved the way to imagine how things would've been if you knew his real name, and you two met under circumstances where you don't have to erase your identity.

“...my name.”

Your vision was blurry with tears, heart in deep pain you could've just chosen death, but Johan's cryptic begging was what kept you awake.

He mutters as though you're the only one who could grant what he wants. “My…my n-name…”

Not that he's wrong. Only the two of you are inside the room at this moment. Daddy said Johan's quiz today would need someone outside Kinderheim, and who else would be most enthusiastic for the job if not you?

The quiz, as how you see it, is just you and Johan being left alone in a room. There's a huge mirror—Daddy said that you shouldn't worry because the mirror is actually a window where they could watch you. You were excited at first. You thought he and his workmates would just watch you play legos together.

Only now did you realize how awful these quizzes actually were. This is the first time you'd seen him wearing a mere t-shirt, and you feel utterly sick in the stomach seeing so many bruises on his arm—most of which are injection shots. This is the reason why Johan always looks like he had just woken up—so fragile, lethargic, but still smiling whenever you two hang out together. 

“What are you talking about, Johan?”

“My name,” Johan, finally sounding like someone his age—a literal child who lived not beyond ten—mutters weakly, defenseless, and about to faint. “Call me by my name.”

Out of desperation, you follow, “Johan! Stay with me, Johan!”

Why is Johan so weak and begging? Why does he have a fresh injection wound on his arm?

This particular memory was blurred by your tears, with loud crying blocking your hearing, but it felt so raw, so genuine, so painful not for yourself, but for Johan, for everything he had gone through.

How tragic it is, indeed, for Johan was more talkative during this moment. Despite his weakened state, he was using all his energy left to talk to you—as if a toddler yapping to its guardian about how awful his days went, or perhaps a best friend ranting about a very unfortunate incident. But you couldn't remember! Of all things, why would this memory be the blurriest of them all?

“Please,” he breathes, already lying down. “Please call me by my name.”

“Johan,” you cried. “Your name is Johan!”

“My name…” your little friend's eyes are now empty, as if he's reliving a memory only he knows. You're not even sure if he could still see you, let alone if he knows where he is. “Call me by my name.”

“Johan.”

“My name—”

“Johan!”

Much to your horror, the last words uttered by the little boy before closing his eyes was, “Chomp, chomp, munch, munch, gobble, gobble, gulp.”

“Johan!” you scream.

And that was the needed signal for Daddy and his men to enter. They were smiling at you in gratitude while you looked at them in horror. 

“He said a lot of things today. That's the most talkative Johan we had encountered. Good job.” Daddy's workmate pats your head.

They attempt to carry his unconscious figure, but you stubbornly swat them away to protect him. When their patience ran dry, they grabbed you away, muttering apologies because even though you really did well, Johan needs to go back.

They spoke as if this would be the last time you'd see him.

“No! Give Johan back to me!” you scream. “Get away from him!”

You were thrashing all over the place, albeit futilely, and you felt a needle being injected to you not long after.

The rest of the dream was just black. You could hear your Daddy talking to you, but for some reason your brain couldn't grasp it visually.

“Would you like to know what Johan's quiz was about?”

“Johan… give him back to me…”

“It's you. You were the quiz.”

“Johan…”

“The only reason you were introduced to him was for this quiz.”

“H-huh…?”

“Johan is such an interesting child. They were wondering if there could ever be a way for him to lay himself bare, but Kinderheim kids are not allowed to befriend each other, so I suggested you instead.”

“Why…?”

“Because you two are both special,” Daddy answers, “but how sad. Now that the quiz is finished, you'll never see him again.”

“N-no, please don't do this…”

“You still want to see him, no?”

“Give Johan back to me.”

“I'm sure Johan feels the same. After all, the quiz wouldn't have been successful if Johan didn't feel extreme attachment towards you,” Daddy solemnly said. “The plan was to make him so emotionally vulnerable to a subject, then abruptly cut it off. In other words, you two wouldn't see each other again.”

“No. Don't do that to him.”

“Frustrating, isn't it?” Daddy sounds a little sardonic this time. “It makes you want to punish them, no?”

You sob.

“You poor thing. You want to see Johan again, don't you?”

You nod.

“I could help,” he suddenly sounds eerily positive. “See, you told me before that Johan wants you to see fireworks up close…”

You nod.

“Could you tell me more about it?”

Surprisingly, as soon as you open your eyes, the blonde agent is looming above you. You're lying down on the couch; he's seated in front of you. With sheer guilt, you ask, “Did I sleep for too long?” Hell, you don't even remember sleeping after dinner. You should've let him leave first before slacking off.

“You don't feel well, so I ushered you to the couch to sleep then washed the dishes,” he blankly replies, neither smiling nor scorning. 

“I'm sorry. The previous days have been quite tiring for me.”

Silence envelops the room, tormentingly so. Johan looked grim as he sat there—it's as if you had said something in your sleep that bothered him.

“Are you okay?”

“Do you remember now?”

Huh? “Remember what?”

Johan does not say more. And that made you remember something.

“I don't think I could call you Johan anymore.”

If the agent was curious, he shows no sign of it. “Why?”

“It's…uh…not really a name I disdain.”

“Oh? Then what is it?”

“I prefer not to tell.”

“What is Johan to you?”

This is the first time this agent sounds so pressing, so curious, one squint and you'd think he knows the whole history between you and Johan, which would be weird because not even Anna knows the whole story.

“You were never this curious,” you nervously laugh, “I thought we had established about personal inquiries.”

The tormenting silence pushed through for five minutes or so, with which he eventually stood up and thanked you for the lovely dinner. The agent looks grim this time around for reasons you couldn't decipher. Hence you try to ask when you still have a chance. “Please. Tell me your name.”

“My name…” the blonde agent whispers, albeit to himself. You couldn't see his face, but you definitely saw the wind beautifully sweeping his wavy hair. It's as though it's meant to accentuate the forlorn in his voice—which again, you couldn't seem to know why. Suddenly, he asks, “The final step we have, do you remember?”

Oh, you do.

Give farewell letters to those who need it. Schedule a heart-to-heart talk to those who wouldn't take no for an answer.

This is the only step this agent refused to involve himself with, but he assured you that come what may, he’s just someplace watching idle. If things go dire, he’d personally come to you. 

“What about it?”

“Finish all of it tomorrow.”

Perhaps he sensed you're procrastinating on it, hence you mutter an apology, “Don't worry, I'll get back to it soon. It's the hardest step, to be honest.”

“No, it has to be tomorrow.”

“Why…?”

Finally, the agent turns his head to you, this time with a smile. “It has to be tomorrow, so I could reward you by telling my name.”

What a peculiar behavioral activation there is, but oh wasn't that an effective one.

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🏷️ @bianca4evers @lyneyenthusiast @suntizme @hyejohann @onasvigo @hannn-iee @bisexualgirlie @eurydiceofterabithia @hopingggforthebest

i am yet to edit this whole thing. i feel quite sorry for not updating, so i decided to just publish a barely-proofread chapter (and unfinished, tbh, if we were to base on my story plan). here's a looming johan to compensate. 

[sophora2025]

Johan NSFW alphabet | Monster (Anime/Manga)

A = Aftercare

Johan is very calculated in his actions, and aftercare is no different. While he isn’t overly affectionate, he makes sure you’re comfortable and taken care of in his own subtle way. He may offer you a glass of water or wrap you in a blanket, his touch gentle, almost clinical, but with a lingering tenderness that shows he cares in his own detached way.

B = Body Part

Johan is very aware of his appearance, but he doesn’t dwell on vanity. He takes pride in his face and the power his looks give him, knowing how his calm, angelic features disarm people. On you, he’s drawn to your eyes. There’s something captivating about the way they reveal your emotions, and he enjoys studying them, especially when they’re looking back at him with admiration or trust.

C = Communication

Johan’s communication during intimate moments is minimal. He doesn’t need words to convey what he wants; his actions and the way he looks at you speak volumes. When he does talk, his voice is soft, almost hypnotic, guiding you in a way that makes it impossible not to follow his lead.

D = Dominance

Johan is the epitome of control. He’s dominant, but not in a traditional, aggressive way. His dominance comes from his calm authority and the way he subtly guides every interaction. He makes it clear who is in control without needing to assert it forcefully.

E = Experience

Johan is extremely calculated, and his experience in relationships mirrors this. While he may not have a history of intimacy in the conventional sense, he is skilled at reading people and understanding their desires, making him an intuitive and perceptive partner.

F = Favorite Position

Johan enjoys positions that allow him to maintain eye contact. He likes being able to watch you closely, reading every flicker of emotion that passes over your face. It’s not just about the physical act for him—it’s about the mental and emotional control as well.

G = Goofy

Johan doesn’t have a goofy side, especially in intimate moments. Everything he does has a purpose and is calculated. He approaches these interactions with the same calm and intensity that he does everything else, rarely breaking the composed mask he wears.

H = Hair

Johan is meticulous with his appearance, and that extends to his grooming habits. His hair is always neat and well-kept, and he appreciates someone who takes care of themselves as well. He may not comment on it, but he notices the effort you put into your appearance.

I = Intimacy

For Johan, intimacy is as much a psychological game as it is a physical one. He uses intimate moments to create a deeper bond, one that gives him a unique kind of power. That said, he’s capable of genuine tenderness, though it’s often intertwined with his desire to maintain control.

J = Jealousy

Johan doesn’t get jealous in the traditional sense. Instead, if someone tries to take your attention away from him, he handles it with unnerving calmness. However, behind that serene exterior, he’ll quietly remove threats or manipulate the situation so you always find your way back to him.

K = Kinks

Johan’s biggest “kink” is control—both emotional and mental. He enjoys having you completely entranced by him, trusting him implicitly. While he doesn’t engage in anything extreme, he thrives on the subtle power dynamics that play out in your relationship.

L = Location

Johan prefers intimate moments to happen in private, where he can fully control the environment. He’s not one for spontaneity, and he chooses secluded, safe spaces where he feels secure in managing every detail.

M = Motivation

Johan is motivated by control and psychological intimacy. Knowing you trust him and look to him for guidance is what fuels his desire. It’s not so much about physical needs for him—it’s about creating and maintaining an emotional and mental connection.

N = No

Johan has clear boundaries, particularly around anything that threatens his sense of control or emotional distance. He’s not one for anything messy or chaotic, preferring to keep things calm, calculated, and within his comfort zone.

O = Oral

Johan is methodical in everything he does, and this applies to oral as well. He’s incredibly attentive, focusing on your reactions and adjusting accordingly. His goal is always to maintain control, so he takes his time, making sure you’re fully aware of his power over the situation.

P = Pace

His pace is slow, deliberate, and controlled. Johan likes to draw things out, savoring the psychological power he holds in the moment. He isn’t one to rush, and his calculated movements are all part of his need to dominate the situation.

Q = Quickies

Quickies aren’t something Johan particularly enjoys. He prefers to take his time, controlling every aspect of the experience. If circumstances demand a quicker encounter, he’ll make it efficient, but it won’t be his preferred method.

R = Risk

Johan avoids unnecessary risks. Everything he does is calculated, and he won’t put himself—or you—in a situation where he can’t control the outcome. Risk-taking doesn’t align with his need for control and careful planning.

S = Stamina

Johan’s stamina is impressive, though not in an overtly physical way. His ability to stay composed and in control for long periods makes it feel like he can go on indefinitely. His calm, steady demeanor means he rarely tires before you do.

T = Toys

He isn’t particularly interested in using toys. Johan relies on his own abilities and the psychological connection he creates to maintain control in intimate moments. However, if it’s something you express an interest in, he might consider it, but only if it fits within his controlled approach.

U = Unfair

Johan enjoys teasing in a subtle, psychological way. He doesn’t engage in obvious teasing but instead keeps you on edge, using his calm demeanor and minimal actions to build anticipation. He thrives on drawing out the moment, making you want more.

V = Volume

Johan is almost eerily quiet during intimate moments. You’ll hear soft breathing, maybe the occasional low murmur, but he prefers to maintain a composed silence. It adds to the intensity of the experience, keeping you focused on him.

W = Wild Card

Every now and then, Johan surprises you with an uncharacteristic show of affection—holding you close for longer than usual, whispering something unexpected in your ear. These moments are rare but leave a lasting impression, deepening the bond between you.

X = X-Ray

Johan’s body is lean and deceptively strong. He takes care of himself, though he’s not obsessed with his appearance. His movements are always graceful and deliberate, and his body language reflects his calm and composed nature.

Y = Yearning

Johan’s yearning is less physical and more emotional. He craves control over the relationship, needing to know that you’re fully devoted to him. His desire to possess your mind and heart is what drives him more than anything physical.

Z = Zzz

Afterward, Johan is often quiet, watching you with an unreadable expression. He doesn’t fall asleep easily, his mind always working. But he stays close, his presence a quiet reminder that, even in these vulnerable moments, he’s always in control.

[emojellyace08]

"Hey! Give it back dumbass!" you squealed as you tried to reach your bag of your favorite flavored chips on his hands. Screw his grow spurt. Screw him even though he doesn't mean to piss you off right now. It's cute how you try to lean up to match his height even though your toes are already feeling numb and sore for trying to balance your weight.

"Nuh-uh. You already ate another bag of this and plus 2 bars of chocolate. Do you want to get diabetes or UTI?" he playfully replied with a sass yet there's a hidden tone of concern on his voice. *Sigh* you really need to control your cravings or he wouldn't be able to help you out when you're already in a hospital bed.

An idea popped into your mind as your inner self smirked . "Okay I'll make a deal with you. You'll give me MY CHIPS for an exchange of kisses and cuddles or if you don't I'll literally going to ignore you for a week." you challenged him as he chuckles as this, obviously not falling for your petty tricks. "You think I'm going to fall for that? You couldn't even ignore me when I'm your boyfriend and- HM!"

His words have been cut off as your gentle and soft hands finally reached out to his beautiful face as you gave him a smooch on the lips, him uncontrollably melting on the feeling of yours on his own. He was about to kiss you back when you suddenly snatched away the junk food on his hand that is much more slender and firm than yours as you ran and giggled on the school corridor trying to hide on the crowded cafeteria. Despite him being more stronger and faster than you, he couldn't react to your movements. Is there a love spell that makes him hypnotized when you kiss and touch him? Who knows, you're the only one whom he is weak to at least when it comes for his undying and unconditional love for you. Ah, what a sneaky little brat you are.

♡ DANIEL PARK/JAY HONG/ZACK LEE/JACE PARK/GUN PARK/JAMES LEE (DG)/GOO KIM/ELI JANG/WARREN CHAE/JAKE KIM/JOHAN SEONG/KWAK JIHAN & JIBEOM/KURODA RYUHEI/SINU HAN/LINEMAN/VIN JIN/YOOJIN ♡

♡ Vasco (Lee Eun Tae)/Jerry Kwon/Jason Yoon/Brad Lee/Yuseong ♡

[ranposbabe]

The Last Dance

pairing: johan liebert x fem!reader

summary: Johan will always keep his eyes on you even when you dance with another

warnings: established relationship, Johan being Johan, y/n is in on Johan’s “plans”

The room was filled with the booming sound of music along with plenty of chatter amongst the many guests.

You had been dancing with some random gentlemen for some time.

You didn’t particularly care for who he was you just simply wanted a dance and you knew well to not expect one from Johan.

As the gentlemen spun you around your eyes constantly locked with Johan’s as if t man dancing with you wasn’t even there.

As the music quickened so did the pace asnd suddenly did you lose sight of Johan but that alone made you quickly sober along with the fast spinning.

Suddenly the room was filled with screams of horror instead of the constant laughter.

All the people scattered like mad cowardly pushing each other escape to taste freedom. All but you and Johan. You were fast to abandon your dance partner but not for the same selfish reason as others. You spotted him instantly in the madness as people ran by. By now the room was completely empty and the sound of music was replaced by the crackling of the flames.

The room was set ablaze. Far too early for your liking. You just knew Johan purposely sped up the evening.As smoke nearly engulfed the entire room Johan walked towards you with a hand raised out. It was only then a pleased smile was evident on his face.

“Care to dance ?”

[patriwoso]

squished

alexia putellas x child!reader

Alexia helps a young fan who is getting crushed in a crowd of fans.

You grew up with brothers, they were rough and put you in goal for their football games with their friends. To say you took a battering everytime was an understatement. You papa put you in a boys football team when you turned 4 to 'toughen' you up.

You would watch Barcelona mens games on TV, never being allowed to go to the Camp Nou with your brothers and your papa as you were too young. Instead, your mother put you infront of the Barcelona femeni.  You would skip down to the Johan ever week with your mama, wearing a hand me down jersey with your brothers name on the back.

You soon got to learn everything, by 5 and half you knew all the players and even joined in with the chants too, waving your small flag around.

"Aleexxia! Alexxxiiaa!" You'd sing, proudly showing off your Barcelona jersey on the way to the game, your cuddly toy in your hand.

"Are you excited for the game today, bebita?" Mami asked. You'd nod. "Who are you excited to watch?"

"Alexia!" You'd show off your little toothy grin and shake with excitement.

-

Mama put you on her shoulders so you could see better, you'd raise your arms and cheer and squeal throughout the 90 minutes.

Alexia socred and you went crazy, jumping up and down and giggling with you mama, the couple next to you smiling at your happiness.

"Alexia, Mama!!"

At the end of the game, the team won 7-0. You were so excited you wriggled your way through to the front trying to see past everyone. You waved at the players as they walked past.

"HOLA MAPI!!" You grinned, waving your hand franticallly.

You gasped a little as you felt an older girl behind you shoving you against the railing, looking down you see someone else stepping on your foot, squishing it inside your pink trainers.

"MAPI POR FAVOR!!!"

"ow!" You tried to move but you kept getting pushed and shoved.

You were a small five year old, and getting pushed around in a crowd of shouting people wasn't something you wanted to be in.

"MAMMA!" You called out, but mama was no where to be seen.

Tears filled your eyes and spilled down your cheeks.

"Ow! You are hurting!" You tried to call out to the people around you but no one seemed to listen as they waved their shirts down at the players.

“OW! POR FAVOR!” You teared up more, being barged around between older children and adults, being squished against the barricade.

Alexia came over towards your stand, not having seen you squished in and teary eyed. She signed a few shirts and then caught sight of you.

"Alexia!" You cried, in both happiness and fear. You tears became more violent as the crowd pushed closer and closer to the barrier to see sight of the footballer.

"Hola bebita, your ok!" She shouted at the crowd around you to stop pushing and this caught attention of her teammates. Patri, Aitana, Mapi and Claudia rushed over jsut as she pulled you over the fenced area. 

You tears didn't stop, they couldn't. You were scared and frightened.

The players created a circle around you, Alexia holding you against her chest as you legs wrapped around her.

She rubbed your back softly and gently swayed you side to side.

"What's your name?" Patri smiles softly, rubbing your cheek to clear the drying tears.

"I'm y/n." You sobbed, holding your soft toy in your hand still, a tight grip on the cuddly penguin.

"How old are you, y/n?"

You held up five fingers on your small hand,  dropping your head onto Alexia's shoulder.

"Your so tiny!" Alexia smiled. Are you here with mama and papa?"

"Mami" You told her.

"With you mami." she nods. "Does she know where you went?" She asks, looking around back to the stands she pulled you from.

You shook your head, you'd slipped out of her reach and was just too excited to wave to the team that you forgot to keep near her.

"Who is this?" Claudia points at your penguin, Alexia shifting you onto her hip as you show your cuddly toy.

"Pepa" You tell her, your voice soft and quiet.

The girls keep you calm and security goes to find you mama. Alexia keeping hold of you the whole time.

"You must have been scared in there, huh?" She smiles softly, tilting her head.

You nod. "I just small!" You tell her.

She chuckles softly. “You are! But it’s okay, your safe now.”

“Did you like the game? Alexia scored an amazing goal didn’t she!” Mapi smiles.

“Sí! I did lots of clapping” You grin at the defender. “Mami put me high so I could see.” You tell them.

A short while later, security come down to the pitch with your mami.

“Y/N!” She rushes over, taking you out of the Barcelona captain’s arms. “I told you to stay by my side!” She sighs.

“Lo siento Mami. But this is Alexia!” You giggle, looking at the midfielder who’s smiling at you.

“Well thank you for helping her, Alexia.” She smiles.

“It’s not worries, I loved spending time with you y/n! I’ll see you at the next game?” She asks.

You nod. “Sí!! And Pepa!” You hold up the penguin and wave it at her.

“Say bye now, we need to go.” Mama hurry’s you up.

“Bye Alexia!”

“Bye Y/N! Bye Pepa!”