#it was related to the first surgery tho so to my mind it’s all one thing

[violenceenthusiast]

i’m not saying it’s great advice or any type of substantial solution but if you are a trans american and you happen to live somewhere that covers gender care at all and you also happen to need for example surgery for something else that’s gonna blow your deductible/out of pocket max anyway,, might as well try your best to get a gender surgery scheduled in the same calendar year because what i AM saying is that’s what i did and i just had top surgery for only $450.

[minustwofingers]

love is a laserquest p.2

series masterlist (read p1 here!)

pairing: rockstar!ellie williams x reader

request: @thatgiraffefromtlou so kindly included me on a post about writing something inspired by these beautiful edits :) thank you !

summary: after a serious of unfortunate events, columbia grad y/n y/l/n finds herself using her hard-earned journalism degree interviewing vapid stars and writing articles that she's convinced are rotting her mind. ellie williams has just dropped the album of the year and it's all anyone is talking about, but all she wants is to be off the press train. a certain interview with a certain interviewer might change this.

cws: explicit language, kind of suggestive phrasing? (i get a little feral with guitar playing descriptions), shitty bosses, mentions of nausea and throwing up (no one actually does tho dw), y/n is anxious asf, my writing is a little....yikes...in this one, loser!ellie

a/n: i lied i lied hehe. here's the next part. im still working on building this stupid app so i havent been able to write as much recently + holiday family stuff but oh am i back!

here's a playlist inspired by this fic

wc: 2.4k

tags: tags :) @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie@galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28 @diddiqueen @krisyslostsoul

enjoy mwah

It starts slow, like the drip of a broken faucet. It’s not like you’re actively seeking out anything Ellie William’s related, but somehow it seems like everything Ellie Williams related is seeing you out. 

In the grocery store, one of her hit songs from her newest album blaring over the speakers.

On the street, where you see crumpled pages of magazines with her face plastered all over them. 

And—perhaps the most offensively—on NPR and the New York Times, quite literally days after you’d met her. Suddenly Steve Inskeep and Leila Fadel begin the Up First podcast with a familiar song and devote an entire third of the morning podcast to Ellie and her band’s rise to fame. 

You decide to switch to the BBC World News for a while, but even they seem to be under her spell.

It’s not that you don’t like Ellie. She seems fine. Normal. Really cute, actually, and clearly very talented. But whenever you think about her, you think about the ill-fated, awkward, charmless interview.

“What happened?” Alyssa had asked you when she’d come back from surgery. “That wasn’t you out there.”

Which was actually very hurtful to hear, because you’d been holding onto the hope that you’d been all in your head about your interview being a failure. It all culminates in Eric, your 300 year old manager, sending you a strongly worded email that told you that your performance in the interview was so underwhelming that you were being pulled from the interviewer pool and exiled to article writing land. Which could be worse, you admit. You could be unemployed on the streets of LA. At least you’re still writing. 

And write you do. You spend all your waking hours either at your keyboard, on your yoga mat, or sat in a chair somewhere at a local cafe for a coffee chat. You’ve mostly deleted social media, since all you see nowadays are pictures of Ellie and Becca’s posts about her experience working and loving her life in New York (the algorithm apparently knows exactly what you want to see the most). 

It’s bizarre that, even as you try your best to place your focus on honing your craft and consuming only content that you think will make you a better writer, you still somehow learn everything and more about Ellie Wlliams and her band. It’s in the emails at work whose chains you’re CC’ed on. It’s in the advertisements and the billboards everywhere. It’s even in the conversations you have with your two roommates, Greta and Maureena. 

“She’s so fucking cool,” says Maureena dreamily as you sit around the TV in the living room. “I still can’t believe you got to talk to her.”

“It’s not like I actually got to, like, get to know her or whatever,” you say. “It was honestly kind of dry. Just awkward small talk.”

“That’s more than anyone else I know can say.” She reaches forward and grabs a fistful of popcorn. “How come she gets interviewed by the person who probably cares about her the least in all of LA? Like, what are the chances?”

“I care,” you say, and it sounds unusually defensive coming out of your mouth.

Maureena gives you a long, suspicious look, but before she can respond, Greta comes bursting into the apartment, purse swinging from her shoulder.

A greeting is halfway out of your mouth when she cuts you off. 

“You guys will not believe what I just did.” She’s nearly bursting with excitement, her eyes bright and wide. 

“Like, in a good way?” you ask. 

“Yes. Obviously!” Greta fishes around in her pocket until she pulls her phone out, waving it around. “Check your email.”

The last time Greta had come in with an entrance this energetic, she’d been coming to inform you both that she was getting engaged to her loser boyfriend Brian (which—thank God—didn’t actually last), so you and Maureena trade nervous looks. 

Maureena gets to it first. 

“Tickets to see Ellie Williams? Tonight?” Now she’s about to explode with giddiness, leaping from the couch and throwing her arms around Greta. “I love you, I love you, I love you. How did you get these? I thought they were, like, totally sold out. Or ten thousand dollars.” 

She grins wickedly, holding her hands out in a “who knows” sort of way. “You can all thank me later. We have to leave in about 20 if we want to get there in time. Y/N, you good?”

You’d been staring on in horror, jaw dropped and body completely frozen. You had registered that Ellie was playing in LA tonight—it’s all anyone you knew talked about at work today—but you never once considered actually going to try to see her. “Uh, yeah. Give me just a few.”

By the time you get to the venue, you’re convinced that you might actually puke from the nerves. It’s ridiculous. It’s not like three broke 20 some year olds were going to get last minute seats to an Ellie Williams concert that were genuinely good seats. It’s not like she would see you and realize that the girl who flopped while interviewing her was a big enough fan to attend. You’re going to be fine. 

“Shit, Grets, how are we so close?” asked Maureena as she leads you both closer and closer to the front. 

Horror steadily rises within you as you approach the front row. 

“I got these from my boss,” she says, turning around with a devilish glint in her dark brown eyes. “Her daughter got food poisoning, bless her. She had to stay back to take care of her, and I was the only one who stayed late to work, so…”

Greta’s boss was some filthy rich nepo baby who was a partner of a big talent agency. All of a sudden you feel stupid for not realizing this sooner.

“Shit,” you say, mostly to yourself. “Oh no. Oh my god.”

“Isn’t this so cool!” Greta jumps up and down, hands on your shoulders as she tries to rile you up. “Dude, what if she recognizes you?” 

“I think I’m going to puke,” you say miserably. Somehow the thought of her seeing you made you want to crawl inside your skin in shame and hide for the next calendar year. “Did you guys not see how ass it was? I was so fucking awkward.”

“It wasn’t even that bad.” Maureena pats your shoulder. 

“I literally was forbidden from ever interviewing again because it was so bad.”

“Because Eric hates women,” says Greta. “It’s not your fault he’s a horrible human being. Give it, like, a year or so until he croaks. Then they’ll let you back in the game.”

“Uh huh,” you say, feeling very harrowed. 

You remain in this state of abject terror for the entire opener performance. The nausea doesn’t subside. It only gets worse when you realize that if you actually puke, Ellie’s definitely going to see it. Just like she’s going to see you, with the stupid stars Greta had insisted you paint on your cheekbones with glittery eyeliner and eyeshadow. 

“She really likes space,” Greta had told you while you’d been getting ready, pretending like you didn’t already know all about this. “So all of her fans wear star stuff to see her.”

Before you can think to wipe off the glitter, everything goes black. Then the crowd goes wild. 

When the silvery blue light spills onto the stage, it illuminates Ellie, standing just a number of feet away from you. You barely have enough time to take in the black leather coat and loose white shirt she’s wearing before music explodes out of the speakers, her fingers flying up and down the fretboard. 

You’re spellbound as you watch her. Her voice rings loud and clear and slightly gravelly when it snags on her words. She’s nothing at all like the girl you’d met a month ago—there’s no discomfort, no awkwardness. She looks like she’s born to be on stage. 

When the first song ends, she steps back, grabbing the standing mic next to her. 

“Uh. Hi,” she says, and it’s so endearingly nervous compared to how she’d just sounded that something in your chest twists. She rubs the back of her neck. “I’m Ellie.”

Greta and Maureena join the crowd, screaming and cheering. 

“I LOVE YOU!” someone shrieks, louder than everyone else.

“You know,” she says, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to people reacting like this to me just, like, saying my name. It’s really fucking weird. Oh. Shit. Sorry. Are you guys okay with me swearing?” 

The roar that comes from the crowd is entirely undecipherable. 

“Right,” says Ellie. “Um. I’ll take that as a yes. Sorry to anyone who brought their kids or something. Anyway, this one’s about the ex who cheated on me and gave me mono.” 

Before you can react to that, she starts playing. 

As she proceeds through the setlist, you’re struck by just how close you are to her, how many things you can notice that hardly anyone else in the crowd can see. You see the outline of her phone in her pocket, the pieces of hair that have fallen out of her little half bun and are sticking to her face, the way that the glitter on her collarbones trails down her shirt in little rivulets. 

And, above everything else, you can see the horrible way her fingers straddle the fretboard, curling and pressing with ease so practiced it looks tender. 

Apart from this bad, bad development (you can feel your mind going a million miles an hour about things you should not be thinking about), things are going great. Ellie hasn’t noticed you. Or even looked in your direction. You’re not even sure she can see you, given how little light is shed onto the crowd. The false sense of security makes you feel comfortable singing along with Greta and Maureena, your lips forming the lyrics you’d been pretending to not listen to whenever her songs came on. 

It happens during a slower song, a sort of ballad that makes your heart thud harder in your chest to hear from her mouth. The lights on stage dim a little. Light spills just the slightest onto the front of the crowd, and Ellie’s eyes fall and snap onto yours so decisively that it almost feels audible. 

For a moment, you can’t breathe. Ellie’s voice suddenly catches mid-word, faltering and missing a beat. She thrusts her hand with the mic into the crowd, which eagerly picks up where she left off and finishes the verse. 

It’s impossible to see on the screen projecting her image behind her, but you can see the flicker of recognition in her eyes, the stiffness that comes with realizing that you actually know someone from somewhere. 

You’re the one who breaks eye contact, focused with a sudden intensity on the way the thin fabric of your sleeves are situated on your arms. 

Greta pokes you so hard in your ribs that you gasp. 

“What the fuck!” you snap, but the words are swept away by the noise around you. 

“Why didn’t you wave?!” she hisses in your ear. “She totally recognized you.”

The realization falls over you with the subtlety of an anvil. Oh my god. You totally should’ve waved. That was the normal, well-adjusted thing to do. Now she was going to think you were weird. And it was too late now. But she didn’t wave to you. Wasn’t she supposed to wave first? Because you of course remembered her, but she might not remember you. Yeah. You could go with that.

Maybe she didn’t remember you. 

You can’t relax for the rest of the concert. You try your best to just act normal and dance along with your friends and casually mouth the words, but it’s hard when it feels like she’s staring at you. Which is completely impossible. The light doesn’t fall back onto the crowd until the concert is over and Ellie and her band are long gone backstage. 

~

Two months later, all you can think about is the way that Ellie stuttered over her words when she saw you in the crowd. Of course, this is definitely something you’ve made up in your mind, because there’s a number of reasons why she might’ve slipped up. Maybe she just thought she knew you from somewhere and couldn’t place it. That’s why she (allegedly) kept looking in your direction afterwards. Or maybe you’re completely batshit insane, and she didn’t look at you at all. Because if she had, wouldn’t she have waved? Right?

It’s almost bad enough to distract you from work. You find yourself prowling on Twitter, watching the #elliewilliams tag blow up following every concert date. It doesn’t give you any clarity, because in every picture, she looks just as perfect and cool and confident as she was at the LA show. You don’t know why you assumed she’d look different if it was true that she’d recognized you. More human, maybe. But she’s just as bathed in starlight as she was that night many weeks before, just as far away and untouchable. 

You spend so much time thinking about her that you’re convinced you might’ve slipped into a dream when Eric appears at your cubicle with the news.

Instead of saying hello, he plops a stack of papers on the desk in front of you, all labeled “PopNow! Interview Etiquette”. 

“Excuse me?” you say. 

“Start reading up, kid,” says Eric. “You’re back in the game.”

“What?” 

“You have an interview scheduled later this week.” He scowls down at you, gum smacking in his mouth. He smells faintly of tobacco. 

“But I thought I was removed from—”

“You still are,” he says. “But someone requested you. Their manager told us they wouldn’t talk to us if they didn’t get you.”

“What?” 

He huffs out a short laugh. “Believe me, I was surprised too. Don’t know what they’re on about after the last time you talked to their client. Fuck this one up and you’re out, okay? Got it? The info’s in your inbox already.” 

Somehow the words don’t quite sink in until you open the email and see the words on paper. 

SENDER: Maria Miller

RECIPIENT: Eric Bal

CC: ewilliamsmusic@gmail.com, y/ny/l/n@popnow!.com

Eric,

Great to hear back from you. Glad that 3 next Wednesday works. 

Best,

MM

final a/n: lmk how u guys feel about this...feeling a little unsure about where this is going but enjoying writing it anyway there are two wolves inside of me etc. etc. also ive missed u all! i hope everyone is doing well! dont b shy!

[i-want-my-iwtv]

I recently read Interview with the Vampire which is such a good ride and since I was already very much expose myself to many spoilers, I knew the trial would happen and all that. But since English was not my first language and though I like the poetic words, I can't seem to understand what exactly they are talking about sometimes 😂. I'm busy often and can't seem to get the time to actually search up things about it so I wanna know more about why exactly would Armand has the need to kill Claudia, I know about how he wanted Louis for himself but I think he's aware that Claudia was everything to Louis so killing her doesn't seem to be the best idea if he truly love and want Louis to be with him. And the second one being why is Lestat so indifferent to Claudia's possible death at the trial, I've seen his quote about Claudia and discussions about how great he love her even after all the killing attempt and that he never blamed her for anything (didn't read the Vampire Lestat yet by the way), so to say the least I was quite shock at how he allowed Claudia to be held by the coven and why is he only advocating for Louis survival, is his love too much greater for him? And can't seem to understand that why would he think Louis would be willing to go back with him without Claudia. I think there are other scenes related to these in the other books but I forgot about it, I hope to find out about it when I get to read more but I'm really curious and can't help myself back. I hope my question makes sense and I wouldn't mind any spoilers, I really wanna know more about it.

Hello! Wow, that's a lot of ask. I'm glad to take a stab at answering tho 😎

But since English was not my first language and though I like the poetic words, I can't seem to understand what exactly they are talking about sometimes 😂

Understandable, I'm always impressed with ppl reading these books and finding the stories and characters captivating even without being able to fully understand the words, that speaks to how well they're written that they transcend complete understanding! It can be poetic at times. The books are translated into a number of other languages, you might want to find it in yours, that might help, even though there are necessarily differences in the translations from the original. She also throws in some French from time to time so be aware of that 😉

I think there are other scenes related to these in the other books but I forgot about it, I hope to find out about it when I get to read more but I'm really curious and can't help myself back.

Yes, there are a few more mentions of it, but mostly just Lestat's perspective from TVL, and there's one scene in The Vampire Armand where he says he did surgery for Claudia after the trial but before she died (we're not sure that actually happened, or he was inventing something to intimidate David at the time!)... ANYWAY other ppl can reblog and comment on this to add more specifics! I'm trying to keep this concise and not spend hours on this answer, which I could do! 😅

why exactly would Armand has the need to kill Claudia, I know about how he wanted Louis for himself but I think he's aware that Claudia was everything to Louis so killing her doesn't seem to be the best idea if he truly love and want Louis to be with him.... And can't seem to understand that why would he think Louis would be willing to go back with him without Claudia.

Yes, Armand was aware that Claudia was everything to Louis! Briefly, Armand wouldn't share Louis with Claudia, as she told Louis that Armand spoke to her with the mind gift that Louis couldn't hear (Forgive the typos here, this is a bad PDF copy of IWTV 😅):

Armand also admitted to Louis that he pushed him into turning Madeleine to replace Louis as Claudia's companion, but Louis still doesn't give Claudia up even after doing that. That's a bigger discussion, whether Armand couldn't wait any longer for that to happen, or he lost control of the Theatre vampires, or Lestat re-entering the story changed Armand's mind about how to separate Louis from Claudia.

Regardless, Armand physically protects Louis from Santiago and warns him a few times that the Theatre vampires might harm Claudia if she doesn't leave soon, and it's unclear whether Armand is ordering them to behave that way to get rid of Claudia, or if Armand would be equally happy with Claudia just leaving Louis, rather than being killed by the Theatre vampires. That's also a bigger discussion for sure, and I could argue both sides.

And the second one being why is Lestat so indifferent to Claudia's possible death at the trial, I've seen his quote about Claudia and discussions about how great he love her even after all the killing attempt and that he never blamed her for anything (didn't read the Vampire Lestat yet by the way), so to say the least I was quite shock at how he allowed Claudia to be held by the coven and why is he only advocating for Louis survival, is his love too much greater for him?

I don't think Lestat is indifferent to Claudia's possible death, but he's wounded and starving, which definitely could have weakened him emotionally, too. In TVL, we get Lestat's point of view just before the trial: he came to Paris to beg Armand for the healing blood to speed up the wounds he suffered (from Claudia and Louis attempting to kill him) and Armand throws him in a cell and feeds him a dead victim, with cold blood (which doesn't hurt vampires, it's just distasteful and not as nearly as nutritious as living victim blood). While begging, Lestat admits to Armand that it was Claudia who damaged him so badly, probably thinking there's no way Armand could have her in his possession! Welp, he's wrong.

Even without that TVL context, I think Lestat was in a position where he knew he was physically weakened and outnumbered, he couldn't take on and fight the whole pack of healthy Theatre vampires AND Armand, so he was trying to use his words to save who he could. That meant choosing Louis OR Claudia 😭 The Theatre vampires were clearly going to kill one of them, if not both. So the best Lestat could do was argue that it was Claudia's fault primarily and try to rescue Louis.

Now why advocate for Louis' survival, is Lestat's love too much greater for Louis over Claudia? I think one's love for their lover is different than for their child, not greater or lesser, a different kind of love. One could say that he could see more of a future with Louis than with Claudia, after all, his relationship with Louis was probably more salvageable than his relationship with Claudia, bc ultimately, she tried to kill him! Her feelings were probably the same, or worse, knowing he had survived. She didn't speak to Lestat during the trial. Louis was advocating to Lestat during the trial, still hopeful Lestat could save them both.

Either way I don't think Lestat chose Louis over Claudia for revenge, because YES, you're correct, Lestat says in Tale of the Body Thief (or TVL, I don't have it with me to check) that he didn't blame Claudia for trying to kill him, and that he might have done the same in her position 😭.

[^X by miss-jose] I have a few more fanart pieces featuring this scene in #the yellow dress tag, if anyone has more, let me know!

I assume that Lestat felt awful after Claudia was killed by the Theatre vampires... he still speaks of her with love in the later books. The very next night, Louis finds Lestat clutching her blood-stained yellow dress, and could some of those blood stains be Lestat's tears, since he's sobbing? I think so! Here's the quote (my emphasis added):

“‘This is madness!… ’ I said, my hands rising suddenly to my temples. 'Where is she! Where is she!’ I looked about me, at their still, passive faces, those inscrutable smiles.'Lestat’ I turned him now, grabbing at the black wool of his lapels: "And then I saw the thing in his hands. I knew what it was. And in an instant I’d ripped it from him and was staring at it, at the fragile silken thing that it was - Claudia’s yellow dress. His hand rose to his lips, his face turned away. And the soft, subdued sobs broke from him as he sat back while I stared at him, while I stared at the dress. My fingers moved slowly over the tears in it, the stains of blood, my hands closing, trembling as I crushed it against my chest. - IWTV

[asoftgoth]

I hope these aren't intrusive to ask, but when it comes to your recent hip growth...

A. It's so cute, first of all

B. Do you believe they're growing solely because of HRT, or because of HRT plus you're specifically eating enough to continue gaining during your transition?

And when it comes to your transition in general, if you happen to plan to undergo any sort of gender confirmation surgery, have you already looked into qualifications/patient criteria? I'm not asking because I want to pry about you but because I think my egg is cracking but I'm already about the same size as you and I'm worried that if I even try transitioning, eventually I'll hit a road block at which point if I want to get any relevant surgery, they won't consider me viable unless I lose a lot of weight.

Again, I'm so sorry if this isn't stuff you're comfortable talking about, in which case please don't feel obligated to reply to this at all. I hope you're doing well!

Hey there :) First off im happy to answer pretty much any transition related questions. These are really invasive though and I appreciate you acknowledging that. For everyone that will read this, please don’t expect every trans person you speak with to be willing to open up like this. But with that said here we go:

A: Lol thank you 🥰💕

B: Its such an exciting and scary part of someone’s life when their egg is starting to crack. I remember those days well and I feel for you. But trust me, it gets so much better 💕 And about your questions, my hip growth is because of HRT mainly, and the fact that I have an overall decent diet. That’s pretty much it. And the diet aspect is important, when you transition your body is undergoing a massive transformation and it needs energy to help it along. My actual diet is for another post maybe, (it’s not anything special tho) but I’m not “actively gaining” and haven’t been since I started HRT, believe it or not! It might surprise some people but I’ve actually lost weight even though I’ve added about 3 inches to my hips since starting almost 9 months ago. Almost all of the weight I’ve lost (about 40lbs) has been from muscle loss throught my body. Plus I’ve also lost a ton of visceral fat from my waist(yay), and gained lots of subcutaneous fat in my ass and thighs (also yay). That’s not to mention my chest which is *really* growing a ton, and fast too. I’d say im really lucky with how my proportions are filling out, but it’s a long process and im extremely grateful. Transitioning definitely isn’t over night tho and as much as this sucks, it’s a genetic roll of the dice for what your proportions will look like. Transitioning takes a lot of bravery, and I don’t say that lightly.

With all that said, yes I do have some surgeries in mind that I want and plan on getting in the next few years. I don’t want bottom surgery, but if I did then my size would be an issue. There are strict BMI limitations for getting a vaginoplasty. It fucking sucks but that’s just the reality of things in 2023. Simpler surgeries like getting an orchi don’t have those requirements and that’s one thing I plan on getting fairly soon. Another one is FFS. I’ve actually talked with a few surgeons already who do FFS and some have BMI requirements and others don’t. The ones that don’t unfortunately may cost a bit more from what I’ve seen. (But they do have more experience too). For implants and things like that, I don’t know, I haven’t researched boob jobs specifically but I can’t imagine BMI would be an issue there. I know it isn’t for fat injections in your butt/hips.

One last thing too that I wanna make clear, because a lot of people might read this. You don’t have to actually take any medicine or have any procedures done to be transgender 💕 Medically transitioning is something that helps so many of us and is absolutely necessary for (I would say) most trans people, (it 100% saved my life, I wouldn’t be here without it). But not all, and it doesn’t define your transness whether or not you’ve taken ~this~ medicine or had ~that~ surgery. I was just as much a woman as I am now for the year before I started HRT when I knew I was trans. And I was just as much a girl when I was born. I’ve been a woman all my life, it just took a little while for me to figure myself out haha. Just trust your gut and make healthy decisions. I put off the whole “deliberately gaining” thing while my body is going through all this change. And I personally feel like im better off for it. However I’m working out and eating to help grow my lower half, so I guess you could say my gaining journey isn’t over, it’s just changed. But anyway, I hope this helps you and anyone who reads this, sorry it was so long lol. If you have any other questions don’t hesitate to ask, and my inbox is always open too 🖤

[yan-snowcave]

[Saw @cannibalsweetheart dropping this and I just had to use this to talk more about my beloved boy, Remor xD If you wanna do it then click here and it will bring you to the template!]

Casanova :

After meeting Casanova our dear Prince of Sloth fell head over heals for them. From the white fluffy hair, the hetrochromic eyes, cute braces and his overall casanova-like mask. It just ticked all of Remor's boxes and apparently he did the same to the Incubus.

Casanova is one of the few people where Remor can fully relax and not be worried of getting hurt, he even allowed Casanova to see what's underneath his Ram Skull mask.

He still keeps some secret from his beloved Incubus though, some things are better kept a secret. He hopes that if Nova ever finds out about it that he won't be angry at him.

Cyanide :

Remor's fear of anything medical related [Hospitals, medicine, nurses/doctors, pharmacies, ect.] Jumped over to Cyanide because of a mistake where the manufactur sold the wrong type of medicine. After waking up in pain and getting his right meds from Cyanide at the pharmacy the damdge had already been done. He still keeps everything civil around her but everyone can see how anxious and kinda paranoid he is of Cyanide handling his medicine. [He feels bad for fearing Cy, he knows it wasn't her fault but that dosen't stop his mind.]

Cyanide on the other hand has a more Platonic relationship with Remor, she felt sorry for what happend to him and understands that sadly she can't do anything about his fear other then pack the meds right in front of him. Even double or tripple checking that these were the right meds just to calm his mind.

She still has a small crush on the Skull wearing prince which she hides rather well. If he ever showed intrest or asked her out on a date she would accept and see where it goes from there.

Ketamine :

First time meeting Ketamine was a shitshow, between Remor rampaging around [Kicking Nova so hard in the dick that he thought he would loose it, a certain lemon-loving nurse usig Ketamine as a meat-shield as said Doctor tried to wrestle Remor onto the ground. Earning himself a few headbutts to the chest.] In the end the surgery went well and he apologized alot, even offering to buy him his favorite food as some compensation.

He accepted the offer [mostly to piss of Nova] and started to bound with the Sloth Prince. They mostly talked about their work, pets they kept and on rare occasions when Ketamine had a bit too much to drink, their families. Over time Remor formed a small crush on Ketamine that he's trying tonsupress since he already has Nova and isn't yet ready to ask him about a Poly-relationship with his co-worker.

Meanwhile Ketamine was annoyed with Remor at firdt, he hadn't had the best first impression but still he accepted his offer. After a few weeks of annoying Casanova with taking away Remor's time, he sorta bounded with said Sloth Prince. He stopped hanging out with him just for the purpose of annoying Nova and instead started to enjoy his company.

If anyone askes him tho he would say that they're an annoyance that just bringst him good alcohol and worms. The small crush he formed on the Sloth prince [thanks to his overall shyness and Nova's non-stop lovey dovey gushing about him.] Is something he's trying to drown out and then stomp it into a fine dust, before it can grow into anything more then small feelings.

Pestilence :

They made eye contact once and immediately decided that the other is now their best friend whom they will share a braincell with. They even made an agreement that if they are both in their 30's and non of them are married that they would get married for Tax Benefits.

Remor has platonically adopted Pesti into his family, it met his parents who immideantly fell in love with it and were very dissapointed when they couldn't officaly adopt it into the Pajira family. Promised it that if they find a way that they would contact it immediately.

Pesti is another person who saw Remor without his mask, it even has pics of them where he dosen't wear it. It keeps them in a very well hidden and password protected folder, when Remor learned it he pulled it into a bearhug and thanked it. He swears he didn't cry...Maybe a little...

[lettucedloophole]

cw vague discussion of sexual stuff and Tmi stuff about transition (Transgener) and also just me journalling my feelings

this is gonna sound Crazy but i think porn (and cishet boys making porn noises. do not miss when that was peak humour) made me dysphoric about the way i moan 😭

i get a little distressed worrying about if my reasons for transition are disproportionately sexual or overly related to misogyny, but it would make sense that they would be sexual because Thats the site of Misogyny, and ultimately i do think misogyny caused some of my dysphoria, if not most of it, though i can't say all because i think in a genderless society it would be quite natural to alter your body-- going on hormones or getting surgery would be like getting a piercing or tattoo, but hopefully without the prior distress of the Imposition of Gender and yknow. Patriarchal Discrimination.

i'm pretty certain i would be happy living with the effects of hormones day to day (except balding. will go Livid if that happens tho i mean... i like shaving my head a lot and odd haircuts so it probs wouldnt be a big deal but i want the option of growing it out to remain) but im not sure if i can say the same about bottom surgery. it seems like other trans ppl are so sure 😭 and i mean it's not like it'd be feasible for me to get it for a long time anyway but i might as well think about it in the mean time... i'm kind of ambivalent abt my vagina. but i wonder if i could be happier with something else? but i don't want to Not have a vagina in Case though (i dont think i can do anal. not willing to prep that much 💀)

so i always thought if i would get bottom surgery i'd go for a vaginal-preserving phalloplasty but i saw a pretty good meta result some days ago that's making me reconsider. and then it makes me think like, what do i want a dick for? it seems kind of.. troublesome to have an organ between ur legs. i think i'm focused a lot on ejaculation (oh yeah this post is def getting a cw) but that's not something i can do with a vaginal-preserving phalloplasty, i think. and then there's the question of clit burial and i naturally lean towards not burying it but i think i would prefer to bury it if i was sure .. and idk the complication rate cos if i lose sensation (i'm fine with doing a forearm graft) i would Lose my Mcfucking mind. i think maybe. and it's scary since there's a lot of surgeons out there who just seem to want to hurt trans people. but i'm fat anyway so i would probably not even be accepted for surgery lol 😭

so it's probably never even going to be possible for me. i take comfort in the idea that i can pack and bind and sort of. try b4 u buy. yk 🫡👍 tho im not getting top surg bc i dont wanna and i feel like i have some body acceptance to do in regards to my boobs. im rly ,, ashamed of them bc i have lots of acne scars and other scabs (caused by me. picking at my skin. either scrapes or acne lmao) and i think i would be happy with them and a lot more of my body if i could stop picking at shit and have those scars clear up. its acc so isolating to have this issue so shoutout to the one lady i followed on twt who posted a proud boob pic with some boob scars or acne (or as i call it boob-ne. like back-ne but it doesn't rhyme but it sounds funny) or smth. that made me feel less alone and not ugly 🙏

i have a lot of scars on my shoulders (Prime skin picking real estate) and the center of my chest but i still wear clothes that. show those areas sometimes and i wonder if ppl think im brave. bc i'm not i just try not to think about it after the clothes are on and i'm outside of my room Doin Stuff . same with the cutting scars on my arm but mostly my thighs. no one has ever really brought up my picking or self harm scars save for the first time my dad saw my self harm scars (that was a doozy) and this one time my dad's friend looked at my facial acne and gave me a recommendation for some product (i know she meant well but. girl 🙃) and i am so fucking thankful for ppls silence. like please just let me exist

i saw one of my childhood friends recently and Embarassingly enough i had a Mental Illness moment in front of her and i kind of wanted to, to shatter the illusion that i was the same as i was as a child because i feel so different that it feels like a lie, and i feel like i need to show the real me to people so they can decide to hate me if they want to. but i also kind of didn't want to but it would be difficult for me to cry and then collect myself in public 😭 and she comforted me but didn't make a big deal about it and maybe that helped more. idk i and probably others put a lot of emphasis on mental health but it's kind of nice to feel like... normal.. and move on. my mom kind of smothers me about my mental health and it's something i appreciate technically but maybe not in practice. idk if it's trauma but maybe i just don't appreciate physical comfort as much as i thought i did, or emotional worrying over ppl. it's just confusing bc i thought i desired these things a lot but i think it was just that the complete absence of them from my life affected me negatively, and i wanted Some Amount of it but not like A Lot. it seemed like i wanted a lot because of how much i was yearning for it but i don't think so lol 😭

it kind of follows that pattern of my mom being Too much and my dad being too little (Borderline neglectful but emotionally lmao 😭) so i guess it makes sense why my desires don't align with what i actually want. i suppose i need to Experience more to figure it out.

i also keep having Bisexual Panik that im turning straighter or am going to date a cis guy because i feel like i place a lot of emphasis on my attraction to guys. in my Mind. but i think i just note when i'm attracted to guys more bc im much more often attracted to women . and it would be difficult to keep track of all the attractive women 😭 i worry sometimes that ppl are gonna see this and be like "oh this bihet's gonna end up with a man" but what i worry about even more than that is they might be right.. but i hope not. i dony want date cishet man <3

ive reached the point in my college class now where ive Given up on voluntary reading. technically it's not voluntary but if we're not doing a class activity with it or discussing it in class its voluntary to me lmfao 💀 i struggled quite a bit with my lastest assignment, though i did get it done on time, which makes me worry that I won't be able to handle two classes. i really worry that i'm never going to be mentally stable enough to hack it. i don't think mental health meds can fix that for me as the only ones i have left to try (or the ones my psych thinks i should try, anyway) are antipsychotics and i keep having fucking insurance issues with them and they're charging me a bajillion fucking dollars so at that rate i'm never going to try them lmfao. so then i should maybe try getting tested for adhd again or autism.. but getting dxed with autism would do Nothing and just cost money. but if i did have adhd and needed medication and that made me function better, that would help! but i also worry that i have no observable condition and am just simply unable to exist in the capitalist hellscape climate by virtue of being the me... that would be the worst. but i worry that's what it is lol 😭 ah i should schedule an adhd test before i change my mind

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

Untitled | Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader

Characters: Iwaizumi Hajime, Reader, Oikawa Tooru

Pairing: Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader

Word Count:  2571

Summary: "At first, he thought you sent him those videos (by mistake) as a prank. And he got annoyed. But as started to text you, he realised how sweet you are, how kind and lovely. And he fell, hard." This was the prompt, tho I didn't follow it completely

A/N: This is very much so self-indulgent, so no judging me. This is based off of a matchup I got from @forgetou that I absolutely adored, and just had to write. Thank you for giving me permission to use it, absolutely angel

-------

It wasn’t that Iwaizumi had anything against you - he didn’t really have any feelings one way or the other - although if he had to choose, he definitely wouldn’t keep you in his life for long. He didn’t even know much about you other than that you were smart (being in the same class as him told him that), but your personality was a bit… much? Extremely immature? Carefree? Naive? A lot of things. Definitely not his cup of tea - he already had enough trouble coping with Oikawa - but at least him and Oikawa had things in common.

From what he could see, you felt the exact same way, never offering him a second glance when he entered the classroom.

So, why had you sent him a video?

The only reason he had your number to begin with was because of a project you’d been forced to work on last year with him; you hadn’t messaged him since, and neither had he.

He hesitated before opening the video; you were smiling so brightly, awkwardly looking around your room for some sort of escape from whatever you were about to say, “okay, okay, you finally convinced me!” You cheered, squeezing your eyes shut and smiling brighter. “This is for all my lovely friends-” Oh, so it’s just a prank. He huffed at his own thoughts; the idea that you were just pulling a prank on him pissed him off “-since you guys say that my singing makes you happy? I don’t get it… especially since I can’t sing,” you rubbed the back of your neck. “I- I guess I’ll just get this over with.”

You reached over to the side, grabbing a pair of headphones, they were ridiculously too big for your head, but you didn’t seem to care. A large intake of breath before you pushed away from your desk; your hand shook as you turned on the music, it was a split second before you started singing.

You’ve been such a jerk

since you left last week

You were staring at something off camera, eyes dancing over, what he could only assume to be, the lyrics as you sang. He had to admit you were right, you couldn’t hit a single note, making it almost painful just to listen. Then your smile slowly brightened again, shining within your eyes.

You’re careful with your words

but I’m pulling teeth 

you said this wouldn’t hurt

Bobbing your head and swaying, finally letting any anxiety and ease wash over you. Right now he was more concerned that he could hear each lyric blasting through the headphones, like you were trying to drown yourself out - surely you were going to damage your ears.

Give me cavities

And all of your apologies are only empty calories

You smiled brightly, squeezing your eyes shut but facing the camera. You put your hand on your chest; the impact made him wince, but you didn’t falter in your words.

After all this time

I start asking why I’m staying

were you ever mine?

You pointed at the camera, quirking up one brow as if it were an actual question. The more you wriggled and danced the more your hair flew around; such a pure enthusiasm in every movement. There it was. The childish nature he was used to seeing from you. The one that pissed him off so much.

Are we something that’s worth saving?

every conversation puts me back on medication sometimes

sorry’s just another word you’re saying

He must have been going crazy when he saw some actual sadness twinkle into your eyes; he decided that he was just reading far too into it.

Do I look like her

Does she talk like me?

Your brows furrowed together, staring off camera again. As you sang (read: yelled) the lyrics, there was something more to them. Something more fiery. Maybe you just related to the lyrics. He couldn’t know.

Been feeling insecure

Codependency is hard to break

You wrapped your arms around your body, that sadness trickled in again, there was no questioning it this time. Not even a second passed before you smiled brightly again, acting like there was nothing to be seen. Acting like that was all for show.

When you never make it easy

Reconstructive surgery can’t fix my anxiety

You squished your cheeks together, mumbling the words. He watched you intently as you repeated the chorus. Pumping your fist and spinning around lightly in your chair - a strange mixture of emotions erupted on your face when the wire to your headphones wrapped around something out of his vision, forcing them off of your head. The music blasted freely as you broke out into a fit of laughter, snorting and cackling like a hyena.

You turned back towards the camera when you finally stopped laughing, “so that happened, um, thank you for listening! I love you guys so much.” You winked at the camera, lazily blowing a kiss before the video ended.

Iwaizumi was almost in shock - though that was quickly brushed away by the anger from the obvious prank. You couldn’t really think he was that stupid, could you? He pondered the idea of shooting you a text, telling you that this was ridiculously childish behaviour; that was probably exactly what you wanted, so he chose not to give you a reaction at all.

That wasn’t the last time you sent him a video of you singing.

In fact, you sent one every single day for a few weeks. He listened to each one of them - definitely not feeling more positive and self-assured after each one. There was a theme; they were all mostly upbeat, something you could easily jam and bob your head to, something that gave you a lot of energy. Sometimes you were out of breath after it.

Still, after that wave of happiness came the storm of anger because, despite the fact he hadn’t given you a reaction to his prank, you were still trying to prank him.

Yet there was something so endearing as you cheered and smiled - sure, you were childish, but maybe he could see why people liked you after all. Something so pure about your reactions. Something so unfiltered and contagious (he’d never admit it, but he had started making a playlist of the songs you sang).

Eventually, he stopped seeing them as a prank and started looking forward to them. It was weird; he’d be in the middle of studying and suddenly remember that you’d probably send a video soon, his heart would flutter.

Nothing about your in person relationship changed; you rarely looked in his direction, too occupied with your own head space to even realise he was there. He couldn’t help but feel jealous as you laughed with classmates, brushing their arms, patting them on the head, comparing hand sizes - it was strange.

Even Oikawa seemed to notice the way he flickered his eyes over to you, often teasing him - until Iwaizumi smacked him over the head - that was always enough to stop the setter.

Slowly, he realised that maybe you weren’t as childish as he thought. Sure, innocence was a big part of your act, but there was so much more underneath the surface that he hadn’t realised. You took notes like your life depended on it; you’d nibble at your nails when you were deep in thought; sometimes that concentration led to your tongue poking out between your lips, very cat-like. You had horrible balance but a love for climbing things - that was how you’d ended up with a lot of injuries. You weren’t too good at sports, when they’d played volleyball in gym you fumbled through receives, failed at sets, serves were just as worse, not even talking about your spikes - they were laughable. Even when you face-planted roughly, earning worried cries from friends, you still got back up and asked to try again. He was worried, and intrigued, you had a lot of energy and he admired it.

For two months, you sent a video every single day.

Until one day you stopped.

Maybe you finally realised that the prank wasn’t going to work; or maybe it was something else. Any excitement Iwaizumi had felt for them quickly faded.

You seemed to act differently, too, still smiling sweetly to anyone who greeted you, but past that… everything seemed unnatural. He wanted to ask you what was wrong, to figure out what was going on in your mind; one day, he expressed those worries to Oikawa, “I thought you hated her.” The setter hummed running his hand through his hair.

Iwaizumi shrugged, “I- maybe I judged her wrong, I don’t know.” He glanced back over at you, noticing how you absentmindedly traced the back of your hand. “She… when she gets really happy, it’s… cute. And seeing her like this?” He didn’t like how much he cared about her, it was frustrating. It felt like how he felt for Oikawa, but more intense - like he wanted to protect her from something, but he didn’t even know what it was.

He wasn’t paying much attention, not until Oikawa started walking in your direction, looking over his shoulder and tossing the spiker a wink. He listened intently, “hey, L/N, right?” Oikawa mused, looking around nonchalantly.

A wave of indifference flashed over your eyes before you smiled brightly, sitting up straight, “yep. What can I do for you…? Sorry, what’s your name?” Suddenly, everyone gaped at you - Iwaizumi had to physically stop himself from bursting out laughing - it only got harder when Oikawa looked like you had crushed his whole world.

“Y/N! That’s Oikawa Tooru,” your friend called out. You turned to look at her, then back at him, “you know, the volleyball team's captain?” You raised a brow again, still confused. “How have you not heard of him?”

“This school is massive, you can’t expect me to know every student’s name,” you huffed and rolled your eyes, “what can I do for you, Oizawa?”

That was another low blow; you could have heard a pin drop in the silence, people were still staring at you, “...kawa.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s… Oikawa.”

“Okay, but that still doesn’t answer my question,” even though your face was cheery, the indifference had worked its way into your tone.

“My friend, you probably haven’t heard of him,” he turned and looked back at Iwaizumi - the spiker didn’t think he’d ever seen Oikawa so defeated, “that’s-”

“Iwaizumi Hajime?” You locked eyes with the brunette, smiling slightly, “why wouldn’t I have heard of him?”

Your friend smacked your arm, “Y/N!”

“What? He’s literally in my class and I did a project with him last year. I don’t get what the confusion is.” You pointed out, waving an enthusiastic arm at him - you really knew how to crush Oikawa’s ego - the setter almost looked offended, but also relieved.

“He wants to talk to you.” Oikawa sighed, turning away.

“He couldn’t say that himself?” You laughed, standing up and walking with Oikawa over to Iwaizumi. “What is it?” You asked when you reached him, fingers interlocked in front of you.

“Um… Can I- in private?” This was more unusual, the fact he couldn’t find the words to say to you.

The smile reached up into your eyes, not fully taking over, but enough to show your own intrigue. You nodded, letting him lead the way - your friends were gawking at you, but you simply waved them off.

He led you through the maze of halls until he reached the roof - he was right to think it would be quiet this time of day - only one other person sat up here, and even they were on the complete opposite end. When he stopped walking, you chimed, “well, I’m listening.” You looked so expectant, watching with such intensity as he pulled out his phone, getting up your contact.

“Are you okay?” He asked, trying to find the right moment to turn around his phone.

“Yep,” you cheered, “now, did you really bring me up here just to ask that?” You rolled your eyes but the action was counteracted by the playful smile on your lips.

“I just… it’s- you stopped sending videos.” He passed you his phone, giving you a chance to examine his screen. Your eyes opened wide, confusion and shock danced in your expression. “I was just worried, because you always looked so happy during them but-”

“You were worried about me?” Your voice was soft, almost unsure.

“Well, yeah, I mean,” he awkwardly chuckled, “I thought it was a prank at first.”

“Why would I prank you?” You looked up at him quickly.

“When we did our project together, you seemed like you didn’t like me…” he admitted. “And you reminded me of Oikawa, and it sort of pissed me off.”

“You were pissed off at me for acting like Oizawa?”

“Oikawa.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you waved him off.

“Then you sent me the videos and- I just realised that I was wrong… about you! And I really looked forward to seeing them.” He was uncharacteristically awkward, his heart fluttering slightly when you smiled. Warmth rose to your cheeks, eyes sparkling at the idea of him getting excited to see you sing.

“I… I never actually meant to send them to you, but you never complained, so… I just kept doing it.” You admitted, rubbing the back of your neck nervously, passing him back his phone. “And!” You called out, eyes wide again with an overwhelming passion, “I never hated you, or whatever it was you said. I thought you hated me so I just… I guess… kept away?”

That news hit Iwaizumi like a truck. The reason you avoided him was because you thought he hated you? He certainly never hated you, though he would admit he hadn’t always been the nicest. It all made sense, why you never gave him a second glance, why you didn’t greet him like everyone else. He had never felt more stupid in his life.

“That and I really liked you before so I was super nervous,” you avoided his eyes, a rush of confidence had overtaken you before you could even think about the words.

He blinked at you. Once. Twice. Three times. Mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “What?” That came out a lot quieter than he wanted, but you heard it nonetheless.

“I liked you.” You nodded, punctuating the sentence with a hefty ‘hmpf’ while crossing your arms under your chest.

Again, shocking news to Iwaizumi. By the time you two did the project together, Oikawa had already had the heart’s of every girl around him stolen. Yet he could never see the way you blushed at him, the second glances you took (though those were all before the project). Damn, you didn’t even know who Oikawa was, not even now when his name was in the mouths of every girl - every girl except you.

“I… I still like you.” You stepped away, running the pads of your fingers over your knuckles.

You could have sworn he short-circuited right there.

It took him a few minutes to get his composure, you just stared at him awkwardly, humming occasionally to try and ease the awkward silence.

“I… like you, too.” He muttered, covering his mouth with his hand. Of course you heard it. That soft smile was enough to make his heart thunder in his chest.

----

Y/N eventually asks Iwaizumi on a date to a volleyball game (because even if she knows nothing, she wants to see him happy)

When Iwaizumi gets to take her on a date, it’s obviously to a karaoke place, because despite her inability to hit any notes, he’d do anything to hear her sing again

Y/N still refuses to call Oikawa by his name (Oizawa all the way)

She starts sending him singing videos again, under the pretence that he sends them back

He complies

Oikawa started to send him singing videos, but Iwa just blocked him for a week

Because how dare he

----

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@pies-writes-and-more

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[kats-kradle]

Hi hello yes I actually found your blog while I was looking for Ronon Dex whump, something there is not nearly enough of, and I just wanted to say that should you ever want to share your thoughts about him, whump-related or otherwise, I'm around to hear them,,, I care him very much (which is why I like to see him hurt... funny how that works).

OHOHOHOHOHO DID SOMEONE SAY THE MAGIC WORDS “RONON WHUMP”????? And yes there is not NEARLY enough Ronon whump!!! Buckle up I don’t think you know what you’ve unleashed by offering to let me talk about this XD i have 43 (i counted thats not an exaggeration) unfinished fics where i whump this man so i have A Lot of Thoughts on this so i’ll try to keep my headcanons and general thoughts from getting mixed up so here we go (also I haven’t actually seen past season 3ish but I know like everything)

Just general thoughts

I just love the team dynamic in general the actors had great chemistry with each other

They don’t whump Ronon enough and that is A Crime.    

But when they do whump him OH BOY ITS GOOD

Just off the top of my head I can think of     the episode where John and Elizabeth were possessed by those people who     wanted to kill each other and ronon got SHOT that was dope especially when     it showed the surgery but I was so mad there was no aftercare

Also just the fact that after Ronon was shot the guy possessing John said (about John) something like “if only you could hear him right now he is screaming so loud” or something to that effect and I’m not really a John whumper but oh boy the thought of John fighting as hard as he could to try and get control back because he wants to help Ronon rlly adds to the experience

After atlantis flies and John is going around checking the damage and he finds Ronon with the shard of glass in his shoulder juts the way he kneels down next to him is so soft and his voice goes soft too its great

I haven’t gotten there yet but ohoho the enzyme episode where Ronon gets drugged and then has to go through withdrawal ohooho I may have watched that scene a few hundred times

I just love also how fiercely loyal Ronon is and how much he trusts them

That ep where those villagers were going to give them to the wraith and Ronon literally would rather die than let his friends be taken to the wraith I love how John and Teyla go through like  45 heart attacks that’s one of the ones I haven’t gotten to yet but ive  seen gifs and oh boy oh boy does it look good

The way I generally describe Ronon is he’s     like a bug fluffy dog. Like he’s kind of silly sometimes and he’s very     loyal and will kill without hesitation if it means keeping his friends     safe

Also just that whole scene when Ronon arrives     when John is asking Elizabeth if he can stay is just like a kid asking his     mom if he can keep a dog he found

And Ronon has such a sweet smile also I love it when hes happy (but also I love it when hes in pain)

Stargate Atlantis was very well directed because for most definitions of “good acting” you can see “oh this character is sad. Now they are happy” which I do understand that many people prefer  this because they have difficulty interpreting facial expressions but I absolutely adore how subtly expressive the actors are because to me it’s fascinating to decode what the character is feeling. They act like real people and talk in the way real people would and it seems super natural and not scripted, and you can just tell in their interactions that the characters care for each other a lot and its beautiful

Now that I’ve said something vaguely scholarly-like its time to move on to the mess of headcanons

Headcanons

So when rewatching season 2 with my sister I realized the amazing potential for angst involving Kell (his old commander who he killed) so in my mind even though he’s very loyal to John at first it was more of a “you saved my life now I’ll watch your back because I owe you” and he had difficulty trusting any of them but especially John this changes over time ofc but he can’t help being wary of command 

I also hc that Kell  would punish the soldiers in his division for being “unfit” for battle so like if they broke a leg or something they would be punished  (this is mostly just for my guilty pleasure of ANGST) so that way they     would “be more aware” of their surroundings and whatnot 

Also disobey direct  orders was a big no no and you know how laid back John usually is with  orders so the first time Teyla disobeyed a direct order after Ronon joined the team John was grumbling about it in a way Teyla knew wasn’t serious but Ronon just kind of panicked and started lying his ass off and saying he threatened her into doing it and he should take the punishment which led to an awkward conversation (awkward for Ronon, it left his teammates ready for some murdering)

He hides injuries  because he was alone for so long and never had anyone to take care of him so he just forgets that he has to mention it and in his mind some injuries might not be that bad 

Beckett is constantly  chasing him around after missions desperately trying to get him to hold  still for long enough to do a check

Ronon hates pain medicine because it tends to dull his senses so in his mind all the more  reason to avoid Beckett

He is really good friends with Beckett but just not when he’s hurt

Usually he wanders into the medbay after bad nightmares if Beckett is on night shift and will just sit there

One time he hesitantly asked if Beckett could check to make sure that the tracker was actually gone for good

Ronon was expecting to get laughed at but Beckett took the request with the upmost seriousness and ran all the tests he could think of to calm Ronon’s fear

One time Ronon stumbled into the medbay and he obviously hadn’t slept in a while and was flinching at every noise so Beckett made up an excuse to “take some blood to test and see if it would be compatible with vaccines for the common sicknesses  humans get” and just like. Sedated him. Ronon felt betrayed at first but quickly realized that Beckett only did it because he cared about him and wasworried. He did try to get more sleep after that tho

Oh and you can bet Beckett goes off at him if he ever ends up in the medbay which he does to everyone but  especially Ronon because usually he’s either dragged there or he’ll come  in like “yeah so three days ago for the last mission I got hit in the side and now I’m coughing up blood so…” and then will just like pass out

While he was a runner he trained himself to be a light sleeper so adjusting to Atlantis was difficult because the ocean would wake him up every night at first

Also thunderstorms are The Worst to him because 1. It gives him PTSD for when he was a soldier and the wraith were attacking and 2. When he was a runner thunderstorms were almost a death sentence because the wraith could track him but he couldn’t hide he couldn’t hear and he couldn’t see so yeah thunderstorms are real bad for him

He has a constant fear of leading the Wraith to his new home and his new family oh also I decided that he doesn’t know if his mother died or not so every place they go he’s hopeful he’ll see her

This is a hc I had before I knew it was basically canon but he and the team hang out in the cafeteria a lot especially after nightmares they just all gravitate there

Also I haven’t gotten here yet so I’m just going off of what I know but he kind of tried to leave after Beckett died because he managed to find a way to blame himself also one of my hcs is that Beckett would tell him  about Scotland all the time and had decided that if they ever got the opportunity to go to Earth then Ronon was coming to Scotland with him sooo     ehehhe the angst of Ronon going to earth for Beckett’s funeral and going     to Scotland with Beckett but not in the way either of them wanted

On to softer hcs just cuz

He loves hugs. 7 years of being alone would  make anyone want a hug.

Children gravitate to him for some reason. Logically it doesn’t make sense because he’s so big and a bit intimidating but children just adore him

He carries extra snacks for Rodney

He can’t swim. Somehow he went his entire life without knowing how to swim which Rodney is astounded by and goes on about it for a minute or so

John took it upon himself to give him swimming lessons. John was a terrible teacher but Ronon managed to get the idea

He loves cocoa, specifically loaded with marshmallows. Teyla jokes he likes the marshmallows more than the cocoa

Wow this has gone on so much longer than I thought it would

So that’s it! you unleashed the beast. I now demand to hear your thoughts on ronon because boy oh boy hes a great whumpee and im not sure ive met many if anyone who likes to whumpe him so im super excited!!

[hongism]

Hyello, okay so. I don't have the emotional energy to take in and discuss everything in that chapter so imma just gush over the info cause I am a ✨whore✨ for world building.

So obviously MOC SPOILER

hi bestie HELLO guess WHO!!! finally ANSWering!!! altho im gonna answer separately and space everything out all Neatly bc im all over the place so strap IN we’re going on an moc RIDE!

THERE'S A WHOLE SIREN COMMUNITY?! AND YN AND IT MUST BE WOOYOUNG WERE FRIENDS? SIRENS HAVE A FULLY FLEDGE COMMUNITY WITH PRIESTS AND SCHOOLS AND MULTUOLE CITIES TO SOME EXTEND??? MAYBE EVEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WITH SIRENS MAYBE THEIR ORIGIN PLANET? HOW MANY TYPES OF SIRENS ARE THERE AND IN THE COMMUNITY HOW DTRICT ARE THE DIFFERENT ROLES?!?! ALSO DOES THE SIREN COMMUNITY ALLOW FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SIRENS TO BE TOGETHER? OBVIOUSLY THEY SHOULD BUT ARE THE CHILDREN THEN HYBRID TYPES, LIKE WHEN WE GET BLUED DARK SKIND BABIES OR CAN A SKREN ONLY BE ONE TYPE. WHAT POWERS DO SIRENS HAVE AND DOES THE POWERS REFLECT THEIR PERSONALITY AND DO THE DIFFERENT TYOES LEAN TOWARDS CERTAIN JOBS. LIKE WE JUST LESRNED THE OCEAN GOTTA BE PRIESTS BUT MOON ISNT STRICT WHAT ABOUT FIRE. AND IS YN INSTIC TO PULL OUT A HEART CAUDE HER PERSONALITT, TRSUMA OR IS IT RELATED TO THE MOON. ALSO CAUSE ITS A RED MOON WHICH IS COMMONLY A BLOOD MOON, IS YN THEN A SPECIAL MOON SIREN AND THATS WHY HER POWERS ARE STEONGER OR HER INSTICTS TO USE THEM ARE STORNGER BUT THEN THE MILITARY FUCKED HER UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now this is the thing im biting my tongue on SO HARD bc it’s my favorite aspect of the world building and the universe and everything involved in it bUTIHDFKJG THERS SO MUCH I WANNA SAYYYYYYYYYY in short that one dream sequence holds more hints and information than ANYTHING from previous chapters, i think that it’s probably the MOST IMPORTANT dream to date. while we’ve seen some crazy ones in the past, this one is both the biggest hint and the biggest window into y/n’s past by FARRRR. even tho that whole scene was dialogue i think there’s so much to pick up on from it and so much to see and learn from it and it’s one of my faves bc there’s so much to unpack from it !!

Like yes the story and the development is freaking ✨yes✨ I love it. Genuinely think moc should be released as books. But I just cannot deal with the emotions rn.

But also now all I'm going to be thinking about how many sirens are actually out there. And if yn knew her parents and wasn't just an orphan the military found in the streets... How the fuck did she end up in the military grasps. What happened to her parents what happened to the community, is it still out there? Guess I gotta go back and reread the galaxies and the backstories, obviously I must have missed or have forgotten something. Ugh how the puzzle pieces are puzzling (or something). Moc is a drug and I'm not going sober anytime soon

(obviously you don't have to respond to my questions, this is more just an insight into the spiralling of theories going on in my mind)

releasing moc as books? a dream and a half, i can say that much slkjdlgkjlkf but back to the sirens... how many are out there? we heard early on that hongjoong was looking for ‘the last five’ but then seonghwa debunked that and said that was a mistranslation over time that was passed down and such, but beyond that, we don’t really know much about sirens as a whole? there are some hints in the galaxies and planet descriptions but if that dream sequence is a puzzle, i would say we have a handful of pieces that can be put into place based on what we’ve learned so far!!!!

Okay I lied, I am ready to unpack a little of the ✨emotions✨

When hongjoong explained that hwa tried to stop San only for San to detain him and in a sense make him watch the scene unfold. And then realising hwa had to go through that again, only being even more helpless. I don't doubt hwa loves San, but to see the events happening again, with someone he clearly loves as much as he does yn even if he also loves joong, and to see the desperation and determination must have been just. Horrible. Just absolutely soul breaking horrible. I can imagine him vowing to himself after San that he would never let something like that happen again. That of any of the crew got out of control like that, that he would fight harder to stop them. That he would would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it. And then being helpless as he watched yn do it. Just pure heart wrenching pain. And it must have been beyond terrifying to see someone you love ready and determined to kill themselves partly from rage and partly from desperation. With the backstory, that scene becomes almost as cruel as the warehouse scene with San. The only redeeming quality is no one needing life saving surgery in a time crunch, otherwise they would be the same level of ✨never again✨

honestly i think the two crew members i torture the most are san and hwa bc i just keep putting them thru all this shit and hurting them so much but really this was the defining point of why seonghwa was so afraid. before we kinda just knew he was afraid of yn and hongjoong was mad about it. in this revelation we get to see the source of the trauma and how it was amplified by it being someone he loves as dearly as he loves yn. and for sure when first reading that scene of yn and jisung in the brig, it’s meant to evoke a sense of anger and rage like yn is so angry to a point where she would do this sort of thing, but my hope with that scene was also to show that desperation. that when looking back at it after having already seen the rage and the aftermath, that reading it again shows how desperate and hopeless she was in that moment. which is exactly the same emotion that was evoked back in that warehouse scene with san, except it was relayed differently because the warehouse was a more immediate sense of desperation. this brig scene was meant to emulate that but in a slow burn kinda way where the veil of realization is pulled off after the fact and not in the moment!!!

Just to make sure you don't misunderstand. Those asks were compliments. You are an absolutely incredible writer. And the fact that you aren’t afraid of hurting your characters *cough cough* SHOOTING SAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *CLEARS THROAT AGRESSIVELY* just makes the story much better. No one gets plot armour, making it more realistic (?) and really draws in the writer and sorta imitates the fear and desperation the characters feel

PLS don’t worry, i live for every moment and i live for these open and raw and genuine conversations i didn’t take any as an insult i PROMISE!! i think part of the nature of this whole trope of space pirates and criminals is that hter is no guarantee of safety! i don’t wanna have to cut corners to make sure everyone stays unharmed and undamaged throughout the story when the nature of the world i’ve built thus far is a wildly dangerous one!!! i always say that i try to be as realistic as i can, all things considered, and i think that’s the biggest thing that adds to the ‘realism’ in my mind so im so happy to hear that you see it and appreciate it and enjoy it!!!

OHOHOHOHOHOH ALSO

YN GRIPPING SOMEONES HEART??? YOU WRITE THAT SO FUCKING WELL. LIKE ENIGUH DETAILS THAT WE KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT ALSO NOT SO MANY DETAILS SO IT GETS DETACHWD FROM THE STORY. LIKE THE LACK OF CLEAR SUPER MANY DETAILS REALLY MADE IT THAT *YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS, NOT JUST READING IT* LIKE IT MADE IT WAY MORE EMOTIONAL AND OERSONAL AND THE READER REALLY GOT IMMERSED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY THAT KUST MADE IT ALL RHE MORE BETTER. ALSO JOONG AFRAID????? JOONG REALISING HE GOT A FULLY FLEDGED HEART RIPPER SIREN WHO CANT CONTROL HER BODY TO MOVE THROUGH A HARMLESS DOOR BUT CAN DEFINITELY KILL IN A HEARTBEAT (OR TWO 👀) ALSO THE CONTRAST OF REMOVING RHE BLOOD COLOURED WHITE OLASTIC AND HAVING A CLEAN HAND UNDERNWATH. THE SYMBOL OF IT ALSO BEKNG A TRASH CLEANERS SUIT. LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THE TRASH PROTECTION DUIT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE. ALSO THE OART WHERE SHE SAYS SHES FINE EVEN TJO SHE ISNT. AT FIRST I READ IT AS HER TELLING HERSELF TO LIE BUT THEN I REALISED ITS HER ADMITTING SHE VERY MUCH ISNT. AND SAN NOT KNOWING???? AND KISSING HER HAND AND UGH AND SEONGHWA KNOWING. I BET HE'S LOWKEY GETTING MORE AND MORE AFRAID OF HER. LIKE YN IS READY TO KILL HERSELF AND ANYONE AROUND HER TO KEEP SAN SAFE. AND SHE INSTICTUALLY GOES FOR THE MODT AGRESSIVE METHOD POSSIBLE. IHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL WTITING AND YOUR TWISTED MIND THAT CAN CREATE ALL THESE FUCKING SCENES THAT GOT ME THUNKING AND FEELING ✨EMOTIONS✨

truly one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the chapter simply bc of how shocking and sudden it is!! for me, that was one of the easiest scenes to write in the chapter, oddly enough? it was something that when it came time to write it, i knew how i wanted it to be and was able to just sit down and write it out the way its written in the final draft of the chapter. i really love playing with those aspects of fiction and storytelling. tangible to a point, without spelling it out. i think it’s obvious that i really love delayed realization in writing, but i really like playing with how the brain processes information and for me personally, i don’t pick up on things right away! i can realize them in a snap or it can take me a bit to go ‘oh god that’s what happened’, and i like playing with that in y/n’s character a LOT.

and in that same vein of thought, there are some layers to that scene as well when compared to the door scene. in the door scene we saw hongjoong clearly tell y/n ‘you need to do this to save san’ yet she wasn’t able to do it despite trying and believing hongjoong. then in the heart scene we saw y/n clearly tell herself ‘you need to do this to save san’ and she did it then. so there’s a lot at play in that parallel alone too. and with that internal monologue she has of im fine vs not fine, then san kissing the hand that touched a literal real actual beating heart for me that was a sort of self indulgent scene and i was really worried about it coming across as too cheesy or something like that, but that is something that’s gonna impact y/n as a character and her relationship with san when they have the conversation of ‘oh hey i put my hand through a man’s chest for you’

i think part of why this chapter was so difficult to construct and write as a whole definitely is because of all the undertones and nuances throughout, and in a lot of ways it’s so so much to even think about that it’s almost too much packed into one chapter alone, but even if you don’t pick up on all the nuances throughout, i’m hoping to revisit them and bring them back around in that delayed realization style again bc that’s one of my favorite things to do ofc :3

[qhazomb]

EVERYBODY’S DOING IT so yeah hi, have my personal gender and attraction headcanons for them sciencey fellas. plus some other headcanons at the end :U

Gordon:

He/Him, cis man

Bisexual, biromantic

Didn’t realize he was bi until AFTER he’d already married his (now ex) wife Anna. Hasn’t tried dating again since his amicable divorce. (benrey’s trying to fix that tho if u get my drift)

BENRY BENRY BENRY BE:

He/Him, uhhh technically trans man? He was originally a formless being of pure emotion, and thus didn’t have any kind of sex or gender. When he made his physical body, he decided he wanted to be a boy and thus made his body look such. Felt right! So he a him now, but wasn’t always. Which I believe makes him count as trans. (correct me if i’m wrong tho!!)

Asexual, homoromantic

For as many lewd jokes as he’s prone to making, he’s actually sex repulsed. (source: i am ace and sex repulsed but will still make dirty jokes if given the opportunity)

Tommy:

He/Him, cis man

Asexual, homoromantic

Went on dates with several women in late highschool and into college, always thinking maybe i just haven’t found The One yet and that’s why i don’t feel much of anything when we kiss or have sex? It wasn’t until after college that he finally realized OH i just don’t like sex. or dating women. but i DO like guys. huh.

Bubby:

He/Him, agender (canon!!)

Insists that he’s straight/attracted to just women... until after he officially hooks up with Coomer. After which, if you ask him about his sexuality, he just tells you to mind your own fucking business.

Honestly he maybe would’ve realized he likes guys sooner if it weren’t for the fact that everybody at Black Mesa (outside the Science Team of course) all fuckin’ SUCK. Not much good boyfriend material there, sadly.

“[women’s breasts], my greatest fear!” said no person attracted to women, ever.

Dr. Coomer:

He/Him, trans man

Bisexual, biromantic

His top surgery scars kinda get lost amongst all the OTHER surgical scars from his many cybernetic implant surgeries. Guy’s more machine than man at this point. Cybergrandpa.

HELLO GORDON, THE SCIENCE DEPARTMENT REPLACED MY P3N1S

Darnold:

He/Him, cis man

Honestly I haven’t thought enough about Darnold;;;; but obviously he likes guys at the very least, because he hooks up with Tommy.

(i think i haven’t formed any big Darnold headcanons cause i haven’t read enough stuff with him in it, oops)

Sunkist:

is a boy dog.

woof.

MISC. NON-GENDER RELATED HEADCANONS:

Gordon has ADHD

Tommy and Benrey are autistic (or at least Benrey is as close to being such as a cosmic entity from beyond the veil can be)

Some of Coomer’s cerebral cyber implants are a bit... buggy. Causing him to completely forget what he was saying mid-sentence, occasional dissociative and unreality paranoia episodes.. It’s not very fun.

Tommy is fully human, but has gotten some cosmic being perks from his adoptive dad. Slightly faster healing, slightly better senses. Can get that weird time vision thing, but can’t voluntarily activate it, and has to ingest caffeine of all things to get it going.

Tommy and Benrey first met at Black Mesa, when Benrey was 13 and Tommy was 24.

Tommy thinks of Benrey as the lil’ bro he never had!

(which basically makes all of tommy’s fam eldritch beings ha ha)

Tommy didn’t make Sunkist until after meeting Benrey.

Tommy used to work in Sector E where Benrey was held, but eventually got reassigned to go do rocket science work, of all things.

(he was relocated because the higher ups in sector E thought he was getting a little too emotionally attached to a certain specimen)

[onedivinemisfit]

I’m thinking about bringing up my fatigue/fainting with my doctor.

But at the same time I’m terrified I’ll be blown off.

Like for one, I had surgery three months ago. It’s my paranoia speaking but I can’t stop thinking that my GP will just, tell me it’s bc I’m not recovered yet, or use the fact that I can’t eat like I used to as a sort of “this will pass when you increase your food intake” or something.

It’s lasted so long tho. I can’t remember ever being energetic. And sometime around 16, I started... to faint? Almost. If I strained myself. Something as simple as taking a shower in the morning couldn’t be done cuz I’d end up with black spots and fading vision and I’d slump to my knees and struggle my way to the kitchen to eat/drink something with sugar in it.

Low blood sugar, I called it for a while. Then low blood pressure. Idk I never got it verified cuz nobody believed me?

I rarely faint “completely” if that makes sense. My mind fades for a moment as if it feels like my entire self becomes so. Heavy. I can’t stand up. And it’s nauseating to keep my head up. I can’t hear anything aside from my own pulse, and I struggle to focus.

I decided to get into exercise, thinking it was probably a result of my chronic pain and lack of moving around. Lazy, as they call it.

I didn’t even succeed in exercising with a trainer. 50% of the time I had to stop mid-session bc my mind was spinning and once I even fell to my knees and barely got back up. It’s such a defeated feeling. My mind supplies me with these ugly thoughts. “How pitiful, she’s too lazy to even exercise”.

I wish I could! I want to improve my condition! But I faint just moving from one room to another! The fuck can I do. It’s gotten worse. It happens almost daily? I should be young and bouncy, but I never was. But somehow my every lack of energy had always been “explained” by something else.

Then there’s my heart. I am scared shitless just talking about my heart. Since I was a teen, I’ve said something is wrong with my pulse, my blood pressure, just *something*. I can feel it. My heart keeps skipping beats, it keeps having palpitations (sometimes to the point of pain) and my resting pulse just... doesn’t rest.

At 20, I mentioned my irregular pulse to my then-GP. “It’s no use even listening to you, I won’t hear any irregularities you’re too young,”

I charted my heart palpitations up to anxiety. Afterall anxiety is more relatable, easier to explain than just. I’m relaxed but my heart is beating a mile a minute and no I don’t understand it either...

My father had a cardiac arrest. Then he was diagnosed with heart valve dysfunction. Then all his siblings followed suit. My aunt had to change her valve. It’s genetically disposed, my grandfather being the source. But they won’t start testing the next generation until they hit their 40s.

Did you know that my GP(s) didn’t even care?

Even the last time I went, earlier this month, my GP noted that my readings were “strange” but she wouldn’t respond when I asked if we should monitor my situation? My first blood pressure reading was medium-high. The next was normal. The third spiked like crazy for no reason. My pulse was also high.

“Is it bc you are anxious?” She asks me. How tf should I know??

I’m scared. Scared of looking into this. Scared of what could happen if I don’t. Scared that I’ll be called a hypochondriac, cuz that’s happened too (said directly to my face by my then-GP no less, tho for another reason)

I really just want to stop blacking out “for no reason.” ;;

[skeptic-roach]

my 2D headcanons!!

this man is the sweetest mf ever i’m telling y’all i’m so in love with him

-i will die on the hill that is trans 2D. he started testosterone pre phase one and got top surgery between phases one and two

-due to his mom being a nurse and him having a pretty thick medical history, he's really good when it comes to taking care of medical related things. he always seems to know what to do when someone is sick no matter what the cause is

-this man will go on for HOURS about his special interests and it's adorable because his eyes light up and he talks with his hands a LOT

-i said ace was real touchy feely and stuart is on the same level. this man thrives on physical affection. these two are the clingiest mfs on the planet which worked out wonderfully when ace was in the band because they were constantly hanging off of each other. movie nights? they were cuddled up together. casually sitting at a table together? one of them had their feet in the others lap. ace would let him braid his hair and stu would tell him stories about doing noodles hair when she was little

-he and ace are arcade masters, do not expect ANYTHING if you're with them and they're playing seriously. he will let someone win if they seem bummed out abt losing to much tho and he will totally spend his tickets to get cute things for his friends

-when he gets nervous or distracted, he'll fidget with literally anything in reach, so the band will buy him fidget toys every now and then if he loses them. he draws little doodles on his page corners and chews on his pens/pencils

-he chews on a lot of stuff actually, like draw strings and his sweater sleeves and especially drink straws. sometimes he'll gnaw of his cigarettes if he zones out. he can't cook that well but he still tries sometimes and he actually makes a really good full english (i feel like it would be a bit blasphemous if he couldn’t)

-stuart '2D' harold pot, aka king of leaving dirty dishes and laundry everywhere. his room is full of empty tea cups and dirty plates and half drank water bottles. he leaves his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor after showers

-sticky notes. everywhere. he makes notes to remember something then forgets he made the note in the first place and every empty space on his desk is covered with them

-he LOVES small creatures, especially bugs. he used to leave his window open all day in the hopes that a bug or bird would come in and he'd get to watch it fly around but after an unfortunate bird poop accident with a rather feisty pigeon, he has since stopped doing this

-stu really likes little house plants but he's kinda shit at taking care of them so one year noodle got him a low maintenance succulent and he was over the fucking moon, about it he was so happy

-stuart loves to tinker with literally anything. he'll go out of his way to buy household appliances he doesn't need just so he can take them and put them back together, he loves seeing how things fit together and work

-he sleeps curled up in a little ball and he always hugs something in his sleep it's very adorable

-he may always be cast as the empty headed soft boy but homie is actually wicked smart, he just forgets things a lot and has some trouble processing things sometimes. he CANONICALLY has a law degree hello??? that shit takes brain power. he knows at least a little bit abt a lot, he knows a lot abt his special interests, and he’s always willing to learn something new

-he gets mad whenever he thinks abt when fidget spinners/cubes got really popular and banned from most schools because he knows they're really helpful and it annoys him to no end that neurotypicals ruined it for people who need them to help them focus

-any time he's concentrating on something, his tongue pokes out a little bit and he's usually got a hand in his hair playing with it if he isn't using both of them

-stu gives great massages. it's a perk of having big pianist hands. however he's always worried he's pressing too hard so he's really apprehensive until he knows the person he's massaging is comfy

-he loves funky socks (this is more canon than hc but shut up) anytime he goes anywhere that sells eccentric socks he'll buy at least three pairs he doesn't have. the band always gets him new ones for his birthday n shit too

-ever the avid gamer, he always keeps tabs on gaming news. he's totally a playstation main. his favorite console of all time is the ps2 and the switch is his close second. he doesn't mind pc gaming but he isn't best at it

-he can get very philosophical and loves late night talks about life and it's meaning. he loves watching russ do taxidermy projects as well. he gets a bit sad thinking abt how the animals are dead but he finds it a tiny bit comforting watching russel turn them into art

-so we know 2D canonically smells like butterscotch already but also,,, the lingering scent of percription medication. this man smells like werthers original and a pharmacy at the same time and i think that's great. with the added bit of stale cigarettes ofc

[stressed-crow]

i didnt exactly get tagged, but @lieberts​ said the “whoever wants to do it” thing (like 4 moths ago but i just found it in my likes) so here i goooo

also i tag @krchov​ @cowardlylearningtobebrave​ @feathereddamsel​ @gruntie​ and @luwucifer-s​ but like, only very vaguely. feel free not to~

1. MUSIC TAG MEME 

Rules: Post your first twenty songs in a playlist on shuffle

Mama (My Chemical Romance)

Stigma (BTS)

Man Who Sold The World (Nirvana)

End of Spring (ONEWE)

Love Maze (BTS)

I’m so afraid (Holland)

Dear my friend (agustd)

O-O-H Child (The Five Stairsteps)

Go Go (BTS)

Time is Running out (The Muse)

Movement (Hozier)

Les Passants (Zaz)

The Witching Hour (ODJBOX)

Feelings (Hayley Kiyoko)

0X1=LOVESONG (txt)

YAYAYA (Stray Kids)

Empire (Of Mice and Men)

Problems (Mother Mother)

Question (Stray Kids)

Kill Your Heroes (AWOLNATION)

(i do not take any criticism on my music taste, least of all a costructive one)

2. Rules: MAKE A NEW POST, bold what applies to you and tag whoever you want to get to know better.

APPEARANCE 

I’m an I-need-to-pull-the-driver-seat-all-the-way-in kind of a person // i wear glasses or contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing  // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo  // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i wear makeup // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how I look // I prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backward

HOBBIES & TALENTS 

i play a sport // i can play an instrument  // i am artistic  // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own (if it was like... chill wildreness. i mean i can get a fire going and shit like that i cant fistfight a bear or whatever) // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIPS 

i am in a relationship // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long-distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETIC 

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sunrise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colors // i find mystery in the ocean (i dont like it tho the sea scares me) // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISC 

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift  // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least one dog // i have a cat ---------

3. THIS OR THAT TAG GAME (1)

sage green or baby blue | moon or stars | paperback or hardback | piercings or tattoos (i want a new one... both piercing and tattoo) | drawing or writing | saturn or jupiter | line without a hook or mr. loverman (what does this mean??) | ancient greece or ancient egypt | prague (yo i live here thats wild) or amsterdam | dark academia or light academia | indie aesthetic or cottagecore | stargazing or late night drives | strawberries or watermelons | rings or necklaces | extrovert or introvert | dragons or griffins | ocean or mountain | silver or gold | dawn or dusk | creative or free spirit | early bird or night owl | cook or bake | dagger or sword ---------

4. THIS OR THAT TAG GAME (2)

indoor plants or gardens // cloud-watching or star-gazing // water or fire // paperback or hardcover // running or hiking // sleeping with socks or without socks // fruit or vegetables // hanging plants or succulents // dark wood or light wood // handwritten or typed // instagram or pinterest (i dont do either) // braids or pigtails // books or movies // oceans or meadows // forests or fields // sweet or salty // ice cream or chocolate // hoodies or sweaters // long hair or short hair // piercings or tattoos (new!! both!!) // summer or winter (both suck) // boots or sneakers // cars or motorcycles // curls or straight hair // castles or cottages // sunny days or storms // reptiles or birds // disney or nickelodeon (am european) // strawberries or watermelon (im using this opportunity to pick the other one yes) // essays or posters // phones or laptops // glass or stone // dark or light // photos or paintings // circuses or theaters // reading or writing // dogs or cats // poetry or novels // monsters or ghosts // thrift shops or libraries // fiction or non-fiction

5. Post one picture from my camera roll (no new downloads) to sum up my personality! u get two bcs they are v good

6. 30 QUESTIONS TAG GAME 

RULES: Answer 30 questions and tag others

Name/Nickname: lucy 

Gender: female 

Star Sign: leo

Height: 170 cm 

Time: 22:04 

Birthday: july 1  IS WHAT I WROTE INITIALLY bcs i cant fucking read and thought it just said “date” lol anyway its 11th of August

Favorite Bands: bts, stray kids :)

Favorite Solo Artists: sunmi, taemin :) and hozier i cant betray him 

Song stuck in my head: la la la la vie en rose

Last Movie: def some horror movie but i forget which lol

Last Show: probably the untamed lmaooo did not even finnish it 

When did I create this blog: december 2013 apparently 

What do I post: kpop babey 

Last thing googled: i gotta fact check lots of shit for work so probs smting sports related (but make no mistake i dont know a single thing abt sports) 

Other blogs: what for i dump everything here

Do I get asks: no

Why I chose my url: self-explanatory

Following: 100

Followers: ???

Average hours of sleep: about 8 hours 

Instruments: none 

What am I wearing: pink pajama shorts with kitties, black shirt torn beyond decent wearability and this dark green... jacket,,, hoodie...thing.

Dream job: village witch 

Dream trip: me @ japan: 

(i was supposed to go study there starting winter 2020 :) im abt to lose my fucking mind :) so yeah you get a dead meme for this) also new zealand, iceland, and going back to sweden sometime

Favorite food: pizza bithc its versatile, also cereal coz im a child

Nationality: czech (rip) 

Favorite song: black swan (bts), levanter (skz), take me to church (hozier), noir (sunmi) (those are from the top of my head current favs theres way more but here u go)

Last book read: MIMOZEMŠŤANÉ V ČECHÁCH (= aliens in czechia) by idk, some married couple thats probs wanted whatever xfiles had but low budget, its pure nonsense, best read of this year, dont regret a single second

 Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: magnus archives bich i dont give a fuck; middle earth to blaze it with hobbits; i wanna be one of those lil shaky-head-tree-things in mononokehime

[fotiathymos]

anyway, galo with scars, top surgery and otherwise. kr*y's line "you kept coming back" implies he's been hurt more than once on the job, the arm thing was only one instance (and he keeps the determination and commitment up too despite it, we love this big hearted fool)

I have so much to say about Galo and his job choice and Galo’s relationship to their career before and after the movies events..... It might be a long winded rambley post later on.. maybe.. if anyone cares..

BUT YEAH. GALO WITH SCARS!! Obviously top surgery scars but hey, not all trans dudes have scars due to how the surgery was done~

Galo being new to the job might explain their lack of scars. (tho I wish the other Burning Rescue members had some scars too....) But that line “You kept coming back” def meant more then just Galo’s job aspect of not dying on the job like Kray hoped for. It can imply that Galo has been seriously hurt in training for Burning Rescue or even on the job as a newbie! We only get a glimpse of it all! I do enjoy older Galo fanart where there are scars covering them in some way.

Galo with scars please. Galo having no feeling/lack of control in their burnt arm. 

---

Un related but related thought in my jumpy brain... I always wondered if Kray also wanted Galo to just.. become a burnish. Abusing Galo mentally, the wear and tear on Galo’s emotions and clear issues on needing a ‘hero’ or someone to rely on cause Galo doesn’t rely on themselves. Kray giving Galo the Burning Rescue job in hopes of Galo perishing on duty or.. or maybe becoming overly stressed with all the life or death possibilities. I personally feel like the first time Galo fails to save someone, they’d break down hard into a bad depression. (Which is a thing no one talks about but a harsh reality to a first responder career) 

Kray may hope that something might snap in Galo causing them to become a burnish and then Kray would use that to have more control over Galo’s life or just.. a reason to dispose of them and it not be a negative effect on Kray’s public reputation. The poor kid Kray saved from a burnish fire is revealed to be a burnish themselves? Maybe Kray would blame Galo for their own parents death and arrest them or throw them in for ‘rehabilitation’ and ultimately kill him.  (Twisted AU comes to mind of Galo becoming burnish in the movies events and becoming the engine for the Parnassus in replace of Lio.. and Lio must save Galo??)

Edit: I def derailed with that last thought but my brains connection was. Galo’s arm got burnt horribly on their first mission. Kray found out about it. Took Galo in for ‘aid’ and secretly tested to see if Galo became a burnish from the stress of the injury. Galo didn’t of course. Kray upsettie spaghetti.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #285

"do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?”

What does your car smell like? You assume I have a car. Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? ^ Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? Yes, Sara. I want to visit her again, but right now I have no clue when that will happen. I have another friend that wants me to shoot her wedding that was planned for this year, but it was delayed to an unknown date, so. What was the last thing you used a blender for? A margarita. Have you ever got into an argument with a stranger on social media? Do you remember what it was about? Yep. There's been a couple. Has COVID had any impact on your Christmas plans this year? What’s going to change or be different to normal? Yes. Mom and I aren't coming while Ashley's inlaws are there at her house, and then I think we're going to my other sister's since she wants to cook? I've only really overheard Mom over the phone, I'm not 100%. I'm just. Going with it. What’s your favourite flavor of cake? Are you any good at making that kind of cake? Probably red velvet, or just double chocolate. I dunno. I love cake. I don't cook, though. Are you currently under any COVID-related restrictions where you live? Are people generally following the rules? Well, you're SUPPOSED to wear a fucking mask, but "it's a hoax" and "you can't make me" fuckheads don't listen, and it's poorly-enforced. You see people without them all the time. Do you still watch cartoons? I'm not opposed, I just don't watch television. Is anyone else in the same room as you right now? What is that person up to? No. Do you use Pinterest? Ha, I get most of my (unedited) avatars from there. It also gives me some pose ideas for photography. Are you wearing earrings? Ugh, no. I absolutely hate how the first holes stretched from heavy earrings. I need to get a proper tapering set if I want to actually use gauges (mind you, very small) so they look even semi-good again. I don't wear any in the second/upper holes because I think it just looks weird with nothing in the first. Do you know any sign language? Not anymore. In elementary school, we did do a play however where in one of the songs, we signed the lyrics. I remember zero. Have you ever gone on a service trip to an underprivileged country? No. Which breed of dog do you find most scary? None. Ever been to a pottery class? Not particularly, no. I've made pottery in normal art classes multiple times, though. When you were young, did you ever pretend to “marry” somebody? I have no idea. I don't have a specific memory. Don’t you just find it annoying when people get too much plastic surgery? Oh, fuck off. Is it your body? Is it there to boost YOUR confidence? Then your opinion doesn't fuckin matter. Are you the type who usually plays it safe? Yep. Who do you think about most? It's certainly not willingly, but Jason. PTSD kinda engraved his presence in my brain. How’s your grandmother? Both are dead. What’s your favourite type of cloud? Big, tall, and poofy cumulonimbus ones. Do you have a birthmark? Where? Does it look like anything? Yeah, a slightly darker brown blotch on the side of my right forearm, near the elbow. If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Probably people smiling. My nieces' and nephew's came to mind first. What is your most disappointing moment in life? I've been living it for years now. I'm not who I wanted or thought I would be at all. What is the best reward anyone can give you? Validation lmao. What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Meerkats, always. God, I can barely boil it down to three words. Loyal, complex, and brave will have to do. What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Pink. Soft, pretty, gentle. What do you consider to be the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? As a child, my big plastic crocodile named Marlin (yes, after the Finding Nemo character) that was the "main character" in my games of make-believe. As a teen, probably Rebel, the stuffed meerkat Jason gave me. Now, it's absolutely the pebble I got upon "graduation" from my partial hospitalization program. What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? I'm not sure; I've seen a good deal. Thinking of only the ones I've seen in-person, uhhhh... wait. A couple days before my overdose, in desperation, I called Jason's house in the middle of the night wanting to talk to him. His mom answered, and she talked to me for hours with such patience and kindness to try and calm me down. I miss her a lot. Is Frozen one of your favorite Disney movies? No, I never really liked it. If you were an explorer, would you rather explore the Arctic Circle, Antarctica, or Alaska? Ohhh, Alaska. It's gorgeous and at least not absolutely frigid everywhere. How many blankets do you sleep with in the winter? I usually just have my usual thick comforter, but if I'm seriously cold, I'll grab another smaller one to wrap myself in underneath the big one. Do you know of anyone who was in labor or gave birth to a baby during a major snowstorm? HAHA my mama w/ me. Do you enjoy eggnog during the winter - with or without alcohol? EW. Do you dress any of your pets in seasonal/holiday apparel? No; I really dislike the concept of dressing your animals unless it's truly for their own benefit/warmth. Who was the last person to give you a gift? What was the reason for it? Uhhhhh. I have no idea. Are you a good cook? If so, who taught you? What’s your favourite thing to cook? NOOOOOOO. When was the last time something in your house broke? Did you manage to fix it or did you need to buy a replacement? Ugh, my laptop is fucked up. It's either the charger port, charger itself, or Mom thinks perhaps the battery. Her friend's husband is gonna look at it after Christmas. Is any part of your body hurting right now? What caused that pain? For once my legs aren't hurting. They almost always do from either muscle atrophy or them having been still for too long. The last time you made a sandwich, what did you put in there? It was just a normal 'ole peanut butter sandwich. What’s your favorite time of day? What’s your favorite thing to do at that time? First thing in the morning, because it feels like a new start. I like watching the sky change from pinkish to blue while I'm just sitting in bed checking everything. Where did you go the last time you left your house? I rode with Mom to her doctor's appointment. I didn't go in w/ her for obvious reasons, I just wanted to go on a ride and listen to music. If you eat steak, how do you like it cooked? What sauces or sides do you like to go with it? It has to be medium well. Idk what sauces are cooked into it that I like, because I don't make it. I like fries with steak, and probably Sara's mom's mashed potatoes would go well, haha. Do you prefer sweet or savory pancakes? What toppings do you have on them? I can't imagine me liking savory pancakes... I just like the usual: butter (not mandatory tho) and syrup. Are you someone who cracks their joints a lot? Which one(s) do you tend to crack and click the most? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO, I HATE THE NOISE SO MUCH. My lower spine pops a lot, though. Some fingers occasionally, too. Have you ever taken medication or tablets to help you sleep? Is this something you do on a regular basis? Yeah, I was taking Melatonin to fight insomnia for quite a while. I only stopped it because my mom was theorizing that it may have been making my nightmares worse, because her dad had AWFUL nightmares on it. I don't know if it did or didn't foor me, honestly. For you, what’s the worst thing about getting up in the morning? What about the worst thing about going to bed tonight? Knowing in the back of my mind that despite my hope, today's going to be the same as yesterday. I dread most nights the process of lying down and actually falling asleep, because it can take hours. Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks? Not only do I think diet sodas taste bad, but the artificial sweetener gives me awful headaches, anyway. What do you tend to wear if you’re just hanging about the house for the day? I'm only always in my pjs. When was the last time you dyed your hair? Did you do it yourself or get it done at a hairdresser? Ugh... it's been a very, very long time. It was done by a hairdresser, but per usual, the color didn't stick well. I am DYING to bleach my hair so I can dye it pastel pink, light silver, or like a creamsicle orange. I edited some pictures of myself to "try" these colors on, and omg I loved them all. Does having to wear a mask stop you doing things? Is this because you struggle wearing one or you just don’t like it? Not really, no. I barely go anywhere at all though, so I have Have you ever witnessed a car accident? Or have you perhaps been involved in one yourself? Were you at fault? Yes; yes; no. How many books do you read in a year? Do you enjoy reading or do you have to really force yourself to sit down and read? VERY few. I've only just gotten back into semi-regularly reading since Sara got me into Wings of Fire. I have one friend though that is an INCREDIBLE bookworm; she keeps track of how many books she's read in a year, and she's already beyond one a day. It's incredible. If you have pets, where did they come from? A breeder, a rescue or maybe a friend who bred their pet? Roman came from Ashley's inlaws'. They have like an infestation of cats needing to be spayed, so they didn't at all mind letting me have one because I'd been wanting a cat for a long time. I love my baby boy so much. Venus came from The Gourmet Rodent, a snake breeding (and F/T rat provider, as the name suggests) business from Florida. I highly recommend them. Their customer service was fantastic when I was worried about Venus not eating. They even checked up with me a few months following my emails to ensure she was doing well. Have you ever seen an episode of My 600lb Life? No. I absolutely NEVER could. As an obese person who's been fighting her fucking ass off to lose weight for years, I don't want to be further depressed. Do you feel bad when someone asks you to hang out and you say no? Oh yes I do. Ngl, if I don't want to hang for whatever reason, I'm the kind that makes up an excuse to not seem *as* "rude" (quotations bc it's technically not rude at all, anxiety just tells me it is). When was the last time you turned down plans with someone? What did you decide to do instead? Ummmm I'm not sure. Have you ever had any “unusual” or exotic pets? If you could own any animal, what would it be and why? Do you consider iguanas or Chinese water dragons as "exotic/unusual?" Nothing stranger than that, really. I would never, ever own a truly exotic animal that wouldn't do well in captivity. I do however pretty desperately want to rescue an opposum one day, though. I positively adore them; they're my second-favorite animal. How often do you wash your hair? I don't even have a regular schedule for that anymore, honestly... I have to every time I shower because my hair gets oily FAST, but I try to put off showers as long as I can handle now because of how bad my selfcare has been for multiple reasons... What have you found the hardest about the current pandemic? Not seeing an end in sight because people are fucking dumb. Shit's not going to get better unless things drastically change. And what about the easiest? Has anything improved in your life because of what’s happened? Certainly nothing has improved. Not much has changed for me, considering I barely ever left the house to begin with. If you have multiple pets, do they get along with each other? Are they related or even the same species? They ignore each other, really. Surprisingly, even. Roman will sit on my bed and watch Venus slither about occasionally if she's out, even meerkat pose haha, and playful as he is, it's unexpected that he *does* mostly ignore her. What was the last meal you ate? Did you have anything good? Breakfast; I had Special K cereal. I've finally started to get back on track with eating okay. Do you live somewhere where strangers say hi to you in the street? Would you like to live somewhere like that? Where we live now, if you pass someone outside in the car, it's normal and really expected to give a little wave. That's very normal here in the South though, really; you don't just have to be in your own neighborhood. Have you ever tried any of those meal replacement shakes? The chocolate Equate ones are normal in my diet, actually. They're really not bad at all and played a big role in me losing ~60lbs before. Funnily enough, I haven't found a popular name brand I like, though. Cheap stuff isn't always bad. Do you make up silly nicknames for your pets or family members? "Silly" ones, not really, besides Roman. I call him "weirdo" and "crazy" a lot, but nothing truly unique. What’s your favorite thing to take photographs of? Are you actually any good at photography? Nature or boudoir (only shot it once, but I love it and the confidence it gives people). Being as modest as possible, I honestly do think I'm pretty good at it. Do you have anything interesting planned for the rest of the day? How about for tomorrow or the weekend? I haven't had anything interesting planned in eons, it seems like. Are you going to take the vaccine for COVID once it becomes available? Once it proves to be reliable and safe, hell yes. I'm doing my goddamn part in ending this shit. How much housework have you done lately? Is this more or less than usual? A bit more than usual since I haven't finished decorating my room since moving... I've been doing it very slowly and gradually. I need to just finish it already, I'm just so unmotivated. What gifts are you hoping to get for your next birthday (or Christmas, whichever one is coming up next)? I'm fucking dying to get my tat redone/improved. Been waiting since LAST Christmas when I didn't get to use my own gifted money. Do you suffer from any form of motion sickness? No. Do you contribute regularly to any Facebook groups at all? "I’m a member of plenty, but hardly ever post." <<<< Same. I react to posts a lot, though. Just don't really make my own. When was the last time you weighed yourself? Were you happy with the numbers you saw? Ugh... when I went to the doctor I think last week. I knew it'd be bad, but the verification fucking sucked. Since moving, I've gained ~30lbs. Have you got any chronic health issues? What do you do to try and manage them as best you can? YIKES I am a CATASTROPHE. I've got a dictionary of mental health issues that I'm not gonna go through individually, but I deal with them via prescription medications and therapy and sheer will. Who taught you how to drive? My driver's ed teacher. It was mandatory in HS. What was your high school mascot? A firebird. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. What did you do after graduation? I very briefly went to a community college. What was your first job? GameStop sales associate. If my social anxiety wasn't fucking shit, I probably would have liked it. What did you want to be when you grew up? Somewhat in order: paleontologist, vet, movie director, game designer, animal biologist, video editor (VERY brief), and photographer. Writer, poet, and artist were always something I wanted to do in my free time OR full time if I was lucky. Do you remember the first time you drank a beer? I've never tried beer and don't want to. It smells fucking awful, and because my dad is a recovered alcoholic who was addicted to that in specific, I just want nothing to do with it. Did you ever try cigarettes? No. I have absolutely never understood the appeal, but with a very addictive personality and wild anxiety, I never wanted to risk it, anyway. How did you spend your summers growing up? LOADS of swimming in the pool, jumping on the trampoline, and just playing outside in general. If you could change anything from your teenage years, would you? I'd absolutely change how I found happiness only in Jason. Do you remember your first time? No, because at that time, I didn't really realize it was sex. I know that sounds weird, like "how would you not know?", but just trust me. I don't feel like retrospecting on it. I do remember our first *kiss*-kiss, though. How much did you make per hour at your first job? I don't recall. Favorite home-cooked meal growing up? I looooved spaghetti. Favorite place to eat out growing up? McDonald's, duh, lol. Did your parents live in a different country before you were born? No. They were from different states, though. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? Don't like coffee. Have you ever dated someone who was terrible with money? No. How often do you paint your nails? Never. Do you know anyone who's related to a current or former world leader? Not that I know of. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't pay taxes because I'm unemployed. What is something you don't have any natural talent for? Speaking. At all. What is something you frequently forget? "Numbers." <<<< BIG fat same. How do you feel about your body? How much I hate it is on my mind literally every waking moment of my life to some degree. Who is someone you would like to get to know better? So I have this Facebook friend Courtlynn who seems very similar to me, and I'd love to get to know her better. We interact via posts here and there, but have never seriously talked. What's your opinion on assisted suicide? I am very much for it when a person is in serious pain and recovery is not possible. Like one of my greatest nightmares is being paralyzed from the neck down, and I stg I would spite whichever fucker had jurisdiction over me living. That would be absolute torture for me. At what point do you consider a relationship to be "long-term?" A year, so long as you were consistently together. Stable. What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? My dad's been a mailman my entire life, and he had a second job at Lowe's for a while as a carpenter. He hated it. Mom worked with computer data at the hospital when I was very young, and then she was an assitant and special needs teacher for a long time. Do they still have these jobs? Or different jobs? Or have they retired? ^ about Dad. It's his only job now. Mom is currently on disability. Do you have a cell contract plan, or are you on a pre-paid plan? Would you believe me if I said I'm unsure? Haha. I use a Tracfone, and my mom takes care of whatever plan comes with that, so idk. Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? Mom, absolutely. I'm unsure about Dad. I mean he wouldn't *seriously* care so long as they were good to me, but I think he might still be kinda racist. Or he just jokes about it a lot (which should not be joked about, btw). Do you like when friends stop by unexpectedly? "No way lol. I’m very much of a loner and want to be “prepared” to spend time with people." <<<< Absolutely this. How strong are your feelings for the last person you kissed? I love her very, very much. What was the last thing someone else bought for you? Food, I'm sure. Are you attracted to the last person you exchanged numbers with? I haven't seen a picture of her in years, so I have no idea. I remember she was beautiful, though. Is music a daily part of your life? Not daily, no. Some days I only watch YT videos instead of listen to music. What do you think of country music? Not a fan at all. It's ironic considering it was my favorite genre as a little kid. There's the occasional country song I like (mostly ones from my childhood, though), but those are few and far between. Tim McGraw, now, I love. Did you go to your high school’s graduation? Yeah, even though I didn't want to. I didn't care enough about the actual ceremony. Who was the last person to message you on Facebook? What would you do if that person told you they have feelings for you? That would be the woman I took family pictures for. She's married and we barely know each other, so I can assure you she doesn't. When you apply your make-up, do you do it in a specific order? On the very rare occasion I wore makeup, yes. Eyeliner, usually eyeshadow, mascara, and most rarely, black lipstick. Does it matter to you if your significant other smokes? Yes. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Mom, I think. Do you like where you are in life right now? HA. Is your mom overbearing? No.

[avenger-hawk]

If sasuke and itachi belonged to an academically inclined family in our world, do you think they would be the type to attend oxbridge? I just wanted to know how you see them in an academic setting. What kind of students they would be.. what habits you think they'd have? The kind of departments they'd choose? I had a random hc about them being roommates. But, yeah.. thoughts?

uh sorry I don’t know what oxbridge is, I’m not from an english/american/australian/other english speaking country with that kind of culture and I get it’s something university related but putting it in universal terms, even tho my country is not as small and influential as english speaking ones it would be as if I told you about dams lol

In an academically inclined family: this is a good premise you made, it’s important because I think that first of all it depends on their family’s and specifically their father’s academic choice. 

Following their canon dynamics, their father would have a great influence on them, and they would be a traditional family, where the elder would be pushed to follow his father’s footsteps, to take over the family firm/activity for example, to keep the family name and reputation high, and Sasuke too would be pushed in that direction, and he would be proud of it, but he would have good but less stunning results compared to Itachi. This might either bring him to just keep doing what he’s supposed to, or choose something else, as once that his father has lower expectations on him he would lose self esteem but paradoxically gain more freedom. This kind of AUs are a modern kind of non massacre AUs so I don’t see Itachi revolting against his family for whatever reason.

So if Fugaku runs a business, Itachi and Sasuke would study economics, taking some specialization because they’re brilliant; then Itachi would effortlessly be given some cool director role where he would have out-of-the-box ideas that his father would be a little suspicious of, being traditional, but would support, while Sasuke would have a lesser role compared to Itachi but he would also have eclectic ideas and solutions, that Itachi would support, unlike their father. 

So if Fugaku has a law firm or a business, Itachi and Sasuke would study law, I can see Itachi as one of those cool lawyers involved in controversial cases, with his manipulative rhetoric and manners going from polite and respectful to cold and talking down-ish (sorry for my bad english explanations here). I can imagine Sasuke putting his personal opinions aside for a job because he did it in canon many times, but I can also see him leaving the firm (in the case ) and becoming a prosecutor, as he has his personal ethics and he believes in justice.

If Fugaku is a successful doctor, or better the head of the hospital, Itachi and Sasuke would study medicine. Itachi would specialize in surgery because ofc, Sasuke would maybe try it too but he would end changing, like doing internal medicine or specialize in some rare stuff because he’s close to underdogs and minorities, included those who can’t find a cure for their illness. Or he’d become a veterinarian, as he loves animals, and he protects those who don’t have a voice.

(also consider animal right activist Sasuke with Team Taka pls)

If Fugaku was a successful scientist, phisics, astronomy, biology, but also archeologist, historian, journalist, literary critic or whatever, Itachi and Sasuke’s behavior would follow the same scheme, Itachi would be pushed to follow his father’s footstep closer, and Sasuke would too but not being as good (but still amazing!) as his older brother he’d be ignored and he might decide to change subject/department/specialization.

If we want to consider this with more freedom of choices for them I think there are two options: that Fugaku/both parents are dead for some reason, or that he/they are in the field of humanities, as usually people in this field are more open minded. So if Fugaku’s profession was in this area, or in social studies area, he would be strict but less imposing, and his sons would have more freedom of choice. 

And, about the roommates thing, they are brothers and since in my country the default option is NOT to live in a student residence or a dorm, but to either stay at home or, if the university is somewhere else, rent an apartment or a room, I automatically imagine them staying in their house, with or without parents depending on the context, or even if they’re not dead renting an spartment closer to university or smth, so ofc they would live together, since they’re brothers. I prefer this to being roommates. Privacy is important lol

And they would be good students, being quick learners enough to not even have to stay up all nights to finish studying in time for exams.

Itachi might choose psychology, psychiatry or anything brain related, not because he would want to help people but for academic interest. Sasuke instead might choose something that would make him help people in a more practical way, not like becoming a therapist though, I don’t really see them this way.

Itachi might choose philosophy (idk elsewhere but in my country it’s history and philosophy which would be perfect) and Sasuke literature, or art, or music something, as in official illustrations he’s shown with instruments, which show an artistic sensitivity, that could also be related to art, art history or literature.  Or cultural antropology, since he’s open minded, more than anyone else, and he respects others and different cultures and habits.

I was following Sucker Love by ShurikenX where Sasuke studied literature and Itachi art, and he painted too. It’s a cool combination, I never thought about Itachi as an artist because he’s closed off about his feelings and art is self-expression but in a calm and safe context it would be cool that he had art as a channel for his inner states. And Sasuke as a literature student is really cool imo, since he has a deep sensitivity and the kind of independent thinking that goes well with humanities.

Anything can go actually, with the proper context.