#it was raining and I said 'screw you' to Mother Nature

[babeyun]

out of my head ✮ l.hs [m]

✮ synopsis: years after your friendship with heeseung has begun crumbling, you ask him to be part of one of the biggest days of your life - your wedding day.

✮ genre: estranged best friends to ??? ; semi-unrequited lovers au ; angst ; fluff

✮ pairing: singer!lee heeseung x financial advisor!fem!reader ; sim jaeyun x reader

✮ word count: 10.4k (yikes...)

✮ rating: nc-17.

✮ warning(s): ...kissing? lol? a lot of hurt with no comfort, semi-unrequited lovers, wedding superstitions, mentions of having kids.

✮ playlist: off my face - justin bieber ; are we still friends? - tyler, the creator ; your eyes only - enhypen ; this is why i need you - jesse ruben.

✮ a/n: i'm a yapper sorry, but happiest birthday to heeseung <3 that's my pookie! i love u.

four months ago.

"you're getting married?"

you and heeseung had been best friends for nearly twenty years. the two of you met at a park during a winter storm, both of you having begged your mothers for a chance to go see the snow. a coincidence really, the two of you having somehow lived the same experience (one that heeseung was convinced was fate, while you just boiled it down to two four-year-old kids giving into the natural urge to plunge their grubby little fingers into cold, unforgiving snow.)

however, in the last few years, you'd grown apart. 

you were freshly out of university, and heeseung had recently taken a job as a backup vocalist for one of the local entertainment companies. he'd been a singer his entire life, something you never allowed yourself to pick up because your mother had always taught you that safety nets were better. while heeseung openly explored his talents, eventually learning guitar and slowly, piano - you buried yourself in mathematical equations that made your brain hurt but forced yourself through it all because, after all, you needed a plan.

heeseung lived life on the edge. he didn't care if he had money, if he had belongings - life was more than that to him. he ventured out into the city with nothing but his headphones sometimes, not even so much as bothering to bring an umbrella if it looked like rain. "if i get soaked, i get soaked! life is more than staying inside with your head heavy from studying." he told you once, and you had just shaken your head.

"come on, y/n! don't you want to dance in the rain? don't you want to risk getting sick and having your mom make you that soup you really like? live a little, life is too short to waste away in our bedrooms." he tugged you out of your house that day, making you leave your phone behind as you trekked the entire city by foot, and once the rain did start falling, you were a mile from your house. "heeseung, i can't get sick! i have a presentation–"

"screw that presentation! live in the now!" he held you close as the rain pelted your backs, spinning you around as your laughter echoed in the neighborhood. "isn't this fun! aren't you enjoying this newfound freedom, no expectations? no logarithms, no polynomials!" he exclaimed, making you only laugh harder. "hee, i'm a finance major. that is fun for me!"

"and i'm a y/n major, i know you fucking hate math!" he giggled as he set you down, his fingers brushing your wet hair off your face. "i don't have things like you do, hee! i need a plan, i need something to fall back on. you work to make money to invest into yourself, you don't follow dreams!" you say as the two of you make the route back to your house, making him scoff.

"are you saying i'm wasting my time living the way i do?" he asked, a twang of hurt in his voice going unnoticed by you as you nodded. "i do. i think you are wasting your potential." your words pierced him, but he said nothing more as the two of you reached your mom's house. "see you later, hee."

"see you later."

that had happened three years ago. heeseung noticeably distanced himself after that day, limiting your hangouts to once a week instead of dropping by whenever he felt like it. soon, what were weekly hangouts became biweekly, before you were only meeting him for dinner on a random wednesday night in the middle of the month. you never asked so he never explained, and he simply assumed your silence on the subject meant that your puzzle of a life no longer had a need for a lee heeseung-shaped piece.

it pained him to think that you were outgrowing him.

heeseung was taking classes while working, having finally let your words get to him. you were right, in a way - he couldn't live his life on the edge forever, but the fact that you actually said that to him after constantly reassuring him that you believed in him was...unexpected, to say the least.

"she's just worried about you, hee." his older brother rattled, and heeseung shook his head. he had long told him about that day, and continued to try and decipher it for the years after. he didn’t really understand why it bothered him so much, but his only guess was the same — you had pretended to have an interest in his life, but yet, just like everyone else…

…you had no faith in him.

“yes, hee, i’m getting married! focus!” you tapped your pen on the notepad in front of you, the ice in your matcha long melted. heeseung was gripping his mug of hot chocolate for dear life, wondering where he missed the fact that you were even in a relationship to begin with. “i didn’t even know you had a boyfriend, forgive me for being curious.” he scoffs, making you roll your eyes.

“you would know if you answered any of my calls.” you say pointedly, making him groan. “okay, sorry i’ve been so absent from your life. what’s this guy’s name anyway?”

“sim jaeyun. you can call him jake.” you scribble something onto the notepad, before tearing it off and handing it to him. “this is his number, you’re going to have to talk to him at some point for what i’m about to ask you.”

your smile is mischievous, one that heeseung could never forget. it was engraved in his memory, it lit up his dreams and haunted his nightmares. the same smile he’s written endless lyrics about, the same smile he’s fallen in love with but refused to admit it.

“y/n, i haven’t seen you in six months. how can someone possibly gauge if a person is marriage material in such a short time?” he argues as he folds the scrap of yellow paper. you huff with a frustrated look on your face, “jaeyun and i have been seeing each other for a year! we made it official nine months ago, and we’ve been engaged for three months! i told you this already!”

“when the fuck did you even mention him!?” he groans, and you click your pen angrily.

"hee, if you hadn't been so focused on your own life, you'd be up to date with mine." grimacing, you reach into the knapsack you brought with you. pulling out a pink binder, you set it on the table, facing him. the paper sheet behind the vinyl reads the sims - may 2026. 

he snorts inwardly, before you open the binder. "i know we haven't been as close as we'd like the past few years." you start, clearing your throat as he glances at you. you pull apart the binder rings, pulling out a folder as you continue to speak. "but, i know that you're still doing the singing thing, and i wanted to offer you a gig."

sliding the folder across to him, he glances down at it. it's thick with pieces of printer paper, lyrics typed neatly in times new roman. he recognizes the first song as he slips it out of the folder, his eyes scanning the sheet over and over. 

"you want me to sing at your wedding?" he asks incredulously, and you take a sip of your watered down matcha. you press your lips together as you nod, staring at your fingers. "i showed jaeyun some clips of yours from a few of your other gigs, and he really liked it. this is our song, and we want you to sing it for our first dance." you tap the paper with your pen, and heeseung sighs.

"then why are we here alone? why isn't he here, showing face and asking me with you?" he accuses, and your frown is deep enough that he's sure you're about to throw your drink at him. "he's at work, if you must know. he's busy."

"and what does he work in that he can't come with his future wife to a measly two-hour lunch?" he taps his finger on the table, his eyes boring into yours, searching for any sign of the best friend he'd become estranged from. you weren't there.

"he's..." you bite your lip, staring at whatever was behind him in order not to meet his eyes. he looks at you pointedly, brows raised in expectation - a look he'd always hated from other people. you grimace before responding. "he's a singer, he's recording his album right now." heeseung blinks slowly, something you knew meant he was about to either get up and leave, or he was going to scold you once he processed the information. your best friend was nothing short of an open book, but as he looked down at the sheet in his hand and shook his head, you suddenly couldn't read him anymore.

"after all the shit you gave me." his tongue drips with poison before he shoves the sheet of paper back in the folder, tapping it with his hand before grimacing. "when is the wedding? do i have to be there for the whole thing?" his eyes are full of fire as he stares at you, and you can feel yourself shrink under his gaze. heeseung was rarely ever mad at you, even during these years of estrangement. you were never really on the receiving end of his anger, so you never handled it. "may second. you don't have to stay, if you don't want to. but i'd love for you to be there." your words are softer than you intended, and you can really feel the tug on the invisible string that ties the two of you together.

he nods, pressing his lips together as you watch his eyes brim with tears. "okay." he looks away as the first tear falls, wiping it away quickly before getting up. "just…send me the address when the time comes." he tucks the folder under his arm as he quickly walks away, trying not to let any more tears fall as he exits the cafe.

he can't help but hold everything in as he walks to his apartment, his mind spinning with potential thoughts. when did you get so far? how did he let you stray so deeply, and where did you even meet this guy? why didn't you tell him sooner? or did you, and he just blocked it out? he can't remember, no matter how hard he skims his memory. "fuck!" he screams as he slams his door shut, throwing the folder onto the table in the foyer. 

he slides down the door, a sinking feeling taking over his stomach as he hits the cold tile. he can't help but sob into his hands, his shoulders shaking violently as he does. you're getting married and he missed the entire thing, he's missed the past year of your life and has no remorse in doing so. he only feels sorry now, now that he's realized he's too late.

april 30.

heeseung was increasingly stressed.

you had told him over text (because he wouldn't answer your calls) that he had to take the week off so he could participate in bonding activities with your fiancé's groomsmen. he'd been reluctant, and said he'd get there the thursday before the wedding, nothing sooner – making you upset. he didn't care, he wouldn't lie to himself – he felt betrayed that you were getting married to someone else. it was childish of him and he knew it, but as he aimlessly wandered jeju island alone – it only sank deeper into his bones that he had truly fucked up.

he didn't bother to bond with any of your bridesmaids, either – despite their starry eyes and warm smiles, he could only see the dread in your eyes, the twitch in your lower lip as you greeted your guests with your fiancé. he kept his hand on your lower back at all times, and heeseung wonders if jake knows that he did that in the past. heeseung wonders if jake knows that he held your hand as you both skipped through the sand on family vacations with your families, heeseung wonders if jake knows that he shared a bed with you on nights where thunderstorms would scare you out of your sleep and heeseung would run the three blocks to your house to comfort you.

heeseung wonders if jake knows that he was your first kiss, in the back of heeseung's '96 civic when you were both juniors in high school. heeseung wonders if jake knows that he is in love with you, and that he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to stop.

not that jake knowing any of this would matter, because come saturday night, you'd be out of his grasp forever. he would never place his hand on the small of your back to ease your nerves, he would never hold your hand, he would never share a bed with you. he would never kiss you again, and he'd rather never see you again if it were up to him.

but it wasn't, was it? "heeseung! you made it!" 

heeseung turns to see park sunghoon walking towards him with his hand shielding his eyes from the sun. "oh shit, hey! i didn't think you and y/n kept in touch after high school, it's great to see you." heeseung greets him, and sunghoon snorts. 

"we didn't, actually. jaeyun and i go way back." sunghoon nods. sunghoon had been a friend of the two of you, but it was hard to keep in touch due to his prominent ice skating career. he was always busy, and it was easier to cut ropes than continuously make promises to see each other only to fall short.

"i'm sorry i didn't reach out more." heeseung starts, but sunghoon shakes his head. "don't even worry about it! my life was too crazy to keep tabs on everybody." sunghoon shakes his head, and heeseung tilts his head at him. "was?" sunghoon shifts in the sand, picking his cuticles as he sighs. "i had to quit, i got injured pretty badly during the finale of my last competition. i won, though, so at least i went out with a bang." he shrugs, and heeseung can see the disappointment in his eyes before offering a hug. "i'm sorry, hoon. that really fucking sucks."

sunghoon rejects the hug with a shake of his head. "it's fine, i'm doing other things now. i work as a backup vocalist for jake, me and jay. oh, jay's here, too! have you seen him?" sunghoon gestures to the air, and heeseung offers a small smile before shaking his head. "haven't seen him yet. to be honest, i don't want to be here." heeseung's confession, if surprising, doesn't seem to faze sunghoon. instead, the younger boy nods. "i figured you wouldn't. you're singing for them, right? i heard through the grapevine." sunghoon smirks, and heeseung rolls his eyes before lightly punching his arm. "stop lying, you brat. you read it on the wedding program."

sunghoon gives him a soft pat on the back, before leaning closer. "she wasn't going to wait forever, heeseung." with a curt nod, sunghoon continues down the beach towards the resort, leaving heeseung with wide eyes and a heavy heart. what did he mean by that?

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the night was heavy as the last of your guests straggled in, and your feet were swelling in your shoes from standing for so long. jake had offered to take over as you went up to your room to change them, and you were internally thanking him as you hobbled to the elevator.

only for you to arrive and see your best friend waiting there calmly, headphones over his ears as he softly nods along to whatever is playing. he looks up when the elevator finally opens, completely oblivious to your lingering presence behind him. it's only when you get in after him, feeling the shift of the elevator's floor, that he looks at you.

his eyes are unreadable as he skims them over your face, a soft tilt to his head before he presses button six, hand hovering over the button as he waits for you to speak. you put up five fingers, and he presses it carefully as the doors close. it's silent, and for the first time ever since you were four years old, heeseung feels like a stranger. a polite stranger that presses the elevator button for you, that has come all the way from seoul on a ferry to sing at his estranged best friend's wedding.

except he's not a stranger, and you're the estranged best friend getting married this weekend. you're the estranged best friend who lied about your fiancé being excited for him to sing your first dance song, and you're the estranged best friend who wants it to hurt him. you want it to hurt, seeing you dance with your soon-to-be husband all night,  you want it to burn in his chest when the two of you kiss at the end of the aisle.

you want him to ache as badly as you did when he basically abandoned you for no good reason. you want him to stay up all night in tears like you did when he wouldn't answer your calls, you want him to rant passionately about you to whoever gets the privilege of being his girlfriend like you did to jake when the two of you first started dating, and you want him to ignore the questions of if you're in love with each other.

just like you did.

loving heeseung was a thing of the past. he was out of your heart and out of your head, for the most part. you only ever thought of him when you'd talk to jake about old high school stories, skipping over the parts where you and heeseung shared loving caresses that the two of you convinced yourselves were nothing more than platonic. it didn't matter now, though, because there was no piece shaped like you in heeseung's puzzling life anymore.

you love jake. he's your endgame, and you're glad to be marrying him.

"are you excited? big day soon." he says gently, and you can feel your stomach turn as he nudges you with his elbow. you nod, a small smile on your lips as you glance down at your engagement ring. jake had it custom made, a marquise diamond nestled onto a thick gold band. it was a little tight, but you promised yourself you'd get it resized after the wedding.

"very excited. are you nervous? about your performance, i mean?" you ask, genuine concern in your voice as he shakes his head. "just another gig, really. it's special to you, though, so i've been putting my all into the rehearsals." he itches his neck, a nervous tick you'd picked up on through the years. you nod, patting his shoulder gently. the conversation stops as the elevator does, the number five on the elevator's neon sign. 

"my stop. i'll see you at the rehearsal dinner tomorrow, right? you need to be there." your eyes are pleading, and heeseung can't help but sigh. "i'll try." 

the answer doesn't seem to satisfy you, but you nod anyway, turning on your heels to go to your room. the doors close, and he lets out a shaky breath. you're very excited to marry sim jaeyun in less than thirty-six hours. you're very excited to be mrs. sim, you're very excited to have your first dance with your husband to the sound of your best friend's voice singing the song that reminds you and jake of your relationship. 

a song that insinuates the two of you are unbelievably high off each other in every which way, and how ruined one of you has made the other for anybody else. but this song doesn't take into consideration how he is ruined for anyone else, how he is in pieces at the mere thought of you wearing white while meeting someone else down the aisle.

he doesn't want to feel like that anymore.

may 01.

"hey! you must be heeseung, i've been waiting forever to meet you!" 

heeseung doesn't recognize the voice as he turns, eyes swollen with sleep when he looks to see you, and who he presumes to be sim jaeyun. he nods absently, before glancing at his cup of hot water. he'd stumbled down to the hotel's complimentary lounge, a packet of fennel mint tea in his hand.

"give me a moment, i'm sorry. i'm barely here." he apologizes sheepishly, tearing the bag open and dipping the bag into the cup. he wipes at his eyes once more, before turning to face a smiling jake. "you're jaeyun, right? nice to finally meet you man, y/n has said some awesome things about you."

lies. heeseung doesn't remember a single thing you have ever said about jake, just that he's a singer. but out of courtesy, and jake's business-like grip on his hand, he smiles through it anyway. "i heard that you asked for me specifically. your wedding song is beautiful." heeseung sees you wince out of the corner of his eye as jake looks a bit taken aback. he tilts his head slightly, but goes along with what heeseung now knows is a lie. "i'm glad you could make it. y/n talks a lot about your singing skills, are you working on any projects right now?" your face is pained as heeseung looks you dead in the eyes, "no, i'm just a backup vocalist. i gave up on that dream a while ago." he looks back at jake, who has a sad smile on his face. "the fame, the money…i was never suited for that life, anyway." "i'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you." jake sounds genuine, a flash of sadness in his eyes as he shakes heeseung's hand again. "i hope to see you at the rehearsal tonight. have you got a girlfriend? there'll be quite a few people at our singles' table." jake wiggles his brows and heeseung wonders when you're going to speak.

"actually, heeseung won't be able to stay. he's got another gig on sunday." you lie, and jake's eyes widen. "oh, you'll be missing our reception?" "i'll be leaving right after your dance, i do sincerely apologize." heeseung gives jake a sheepish grin, to which jake nods slowly. "that's unfortunate, there's a lot of people you could network with here! take advantage of it, dreams are meant to become reality." jake finalizes, before giving heeseung another warm smile.

"i will do my best! thank you for having me." heeseung says, and you can feel the fake tone of happiness in his voice seep into your bones. you'd been the only person to ever recognize it, and heeseung knows you're aware he used it as he takes the tea bag out of his mug. "i will see you both tonight." 

he spins on his heel as he hears jake whisper to you.

"you asked him to sing our song? when? why didn't you tell me?" "we can talk about this later, okay? he's really good, i promise."

🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊

your mother had been staring at heeseung for the last fifteen minutes, and heeseung was almost sure she was trying to figure out if he was who she thought he was. he gave her a small smile and waved, and the moment her eyes lit up, the person in front of her turned.

jake. he frowns as she walks away from him mid-conversation, stumbling over only moments before the rehearsal dinner is set to start.

"sorry, sweetie. i didn't know you and my y/n finally made up! it's so good to see you!" her embrace is crushing, and heeseung doesn't have the heart to tell your mother that you're a horrible liar. you hadn't 'made up' – he was simply doing you a favor, something else you'd lied about. he just smiles as she pulls back, ruffling his hair gently. "love the red, it really suits you." "thank you, auntie. it's nice to see you again." he remains relaxed as he sees her eyes soften. "what's wrong? not ready to see your little girl walk down the aisle?" he teases, and the older woman sighs inwardly. she turns, her shoulder brushing his as they stare into the room full of tipsy bridesmaids and boisterous groomsmen. "if i admit something to you, you'll keep it quiet, right?" she murmurs, and heeseung suddenly feels like this conversation isn't going to be one that favors his unruly feelings for you. "of course, auntie. who am i to tell?" "i always thought you'd be the one to marry my y/n." she sighs, clasping her hands in front of her as her eyes watch jake speaking to you gently as he hands you a glass of wine. heeseung's eyes follow hers and the two of them can see as your face falls and jake quickly moves to hide you from any lingering gazes. "i should go see what's wrong. it's nice to see you, heeseung. please enjoy the wedding!" he nods as your mother quickly crosses the room, her arm around you as jake gets pushed to entertain the guests while you get taken care of. jake looks nervous, and heeseung can't seem to stop his body as he also crosses the room, a small smile on his face. "good evening, jake." "oh, hey! how are you liking the venue so far?" a small flash of relief passes onto his face, and heeseung feels guilty as he shrugs. "it's what i expected for someone like y/n. so floral, so bright. are you sure you had any part in this?" he snickers, and jake laughs genuinely.

"she wouldn't let me even look at the flowers with her. babe, you're going to pick the wrong ones!" he imitates you, and heeseung shakes his head in amusement. you'd always been a bit of a control freak when it came to your visions, and now that your life revolved around financial decisions, you were wound up extra tight. "yeah, she's always been like that." he sighs, and jake doesn't miss the slight tone of sadness.

"listen, i don't know you very well," jake starts, reaching for a bottle of cabernet across the table. he grabs two glasses, uncorking the wine as he leans to pour. "but i want to say thank you." he holds the wine out to heeseung, and he tries not to look curious as he takes it.

"thank you for what?" heeseung asks, and jake gives him a pointed look as he blindly pours his own glass. 

"for taking care of y/n all these years. i know you and i probably won't be the best of friends, i'm the first to admit that i'm not very good at sharing her attention." jake grimaces to himself as he replaces the cork into the bottle. "but i'm glad that she has someone as reliable as you, that can just… be there for her. it's a beautiful thing, your friendship."

heeseung almost feels nauseous as jake continues talking about how sweet your lifelong friendship with him seems. it just confirms that you told jake everything and anything you could about it, and based on his mention of jealousy, that includes the first kiss you shared. he can barely hear jake over the sound of his heart beating in his ears, but understands enough when jake pats his shoulder.

"...and i figured i'd be honest. y/n didn't say anything about you singing our song, we had originally planned for sunghoon to sing it with the band we hired. i guess she thought you'd be better for it, and i trust her judgment." jake says, pulling heeseung back in. "oh, i'm sorry." "don't even worry about it, man. hey, why don't you just relax, enjoy the dinner tonight. tomorrow is going to hit us like a fucking train, we should be well rested today." jake nods, and heeseung reciprocates with a gentle smile as someone else calls for jake's attention. "remember, just chill! network!" jake gestures to the room as he walks backwards towards the people looking for him.

heeseung can't shake the nausea from his throat, setting down the glass of wine to wander to the bathroom. but, the hall seems to get longer and longer, the temperature changing from the cold air conditioning to the humid spring air. he can feel a breeze in his hair, and then he realizes he's on the beach. his feet are buried in the warm sand, shoes in his hand.

sighing, he reminds himself he can't zone out like that all the time. it's not healthy, you had told him once. what if you end up in the middle of nowhere?

he reaches into his pocket, pulled out his spare headphones. he was supposed to bond with everyone at your stupid rehearsal dinner, but he didn't care to do so as he stared at the crashing waves. plugging the headphones into his phone, he gently speaks to siri as he lays on his back, looking up at the cloudless sky.

"hey, siri. play are we still friends? by tyler, the creator."

he stares into the water as the song pours into his ears. he doesn't know where things went to shit, but he knows it's his fault. he should've told you that what you said hurt his feelings. he should have communicated, then maybe it'd be him sitting next you in the private jet your mother rented solely for your honeymoon escape after the reception.

maybe it'd be him spinning you around in your beautiful wedding dress, and whispering sweet nothings in your ear as you dance the night away. maybe it would be him, like your mom had hoped. maybe it would be him, like he had hoped, too.

his fingers dig into the sand as he swallows the lump in his throat. there is nothing in hell, heaven or earth that would stop you from trekking the aisle tomorrow afternoon. nothing would stop jake from kissing you tenderly right in front of him, and doing it for the rest of your lives. it would taunt him, it would haunt him like the ghost of your friendship. you weren't friends anymore, the two of you knew it. things would never be the same between you, and yet, neither of you was brave enough to ask the question.

why?

"heeseung! are you out here?!" he can hear sunghoon's voice over the fourth replay of the song, lowering the volume as he tilts his head to find him. "over here, what's up?" "what's up? they're waiting for you, man!" sunghoon is standing in the doorway of the resort, the soft breeze blowing his hair back as a bridesmaid also peers over his shoulder. heeseung sighs as he stands, wiping his pants of sand and shoving his phone into his pocket. he walks quickly, humming quietly to himself to semi-prepare his voice for the perfect delivery of the song you wanted him to sing.

everyone is chatting quietly around the tables as heeseung steps inside, running his fingers through his hair as he walks forward. your mother catches his eye, a concerned look on her face, but he can't hold eye contact. he faces the floor as he reaches the small stage the venue has set up for the band, jay perched on a stool holding a guitar.

"hey, hee. you ready?" he asks as he tucks in his in-ear monitor, and heeseung shrugs as he takes his place behind the microphone. only then does he notice that the chatter he heard was just two bridesmaids, kim sunoo, riki nishimura and yang jungwon – all friends of yours and jake's that he hadn't bothered to meet further than reading their names in the program. 

he watches silently as you and jake take the center of the dance floor, your eyes slightly reddened as you gingerly drape your arms over your fiancé. your smile doesn't fill your cheeks as jay begins playing softly.

heeseung takes a deep breath, and your eyes catch him as he begins to sing.

one touch, and you've got me stoned. higher than i've ever known…

you were both thirteen.

he remembers the way you held onto him the night that you lost your first mathletes competition. you cried so hard that you'd almost thrown up, and heeseung could only soothe you by dragging you to the nearest convenience store and shoving a melona popsicle in your hand. you went silent after that, gripping his hand tightly as he walked you home. you'd squeezed his hand three times that night, something he'd always done but you'd roll your eyes at.

"why would i squeeze your hand when i can just tell you, hee?"

you call the shots and i'll follow. sunrise, but the night's still young…

you were both seventeen. 

he remembers when you called him to come over while it was storming, because your mother was out of town. your house was a little over a mile away and normally, he didn't mind the walk. it was almost three in the morning, and he'd been sleeping when your ringtone went off for the third time. "hello?" "hee, please come over. it's storming so bad, i'm so–"

he hadn't even let you finish before ripping his bedsheets off his body and sprinting for the door. his clothes, his shoes, everything was soaking wet by the time he got to your house. you'd embraced him anyway, your own clothes soaking through as he trudged into your home – only for the storm to stop a few moments after his arrival.

no words, but we're speaking tongues. if you let me, i might say too much…

you were both twenty.

he remembers when you asked him, in the middle of your kitchen during your graduation party, if he could kiss you. the house was empty except for the two of you – his parents and your mom had decided to throw a joint party, using the excuse that two best friends should always stick together. your mom had sent you inside for more hor d'oeuvres, and you'd dragged him inside with the excuse that you couldn't carry them all yourself.

"you don't have to, hee. i'm sorry." your eyes were full of embarrassment as heeseung stared at you, a bit in shock at your question. only as you begin to move further into the kitchen does he register what you've said, and grabs your arm, pulling you toward him. "ask me again, i'm sorry. i zoned out, i thought you asked me to kiss you."

"i did." you repeated quietly, and heeseung blinked twice before nodding. "o-okay. yeah, i can do that." he cleared his throat, looking over your shoulder into the foyer to ensure no one was opening the door. 

"are you sure? i mean, it's your first kiss, wouldn't you want to have it with someone special?" he's rambling, and your gentle laugh pulls him right back.

"you are special, hee." 

without another word, he backed you up against your kitchen counter, his hands on your hips as he softly kissed you. your hands were on his biceps, and he could feel your nervousness seep through your locked lips. he carefully circles your thighs to lift you onto the counter, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck before he breaks the kiss.

"how was that? okay?" his eyes searched yours, a shy smile playing on his swollen lips as you blinked. "uh, i'm not sure. i think–" "you want to try again?" his head tilted to the side, a habit you loved and eventually also caught. you nodded silently. his smile was wide as he closed the gap between the two of you, the hands on your thighs squeezing softly. once, twice, three times.

i love you.

your touch blurred my vision. it's your world, and i'm just in it…

you're both twenty one.

he remembers how he stared at his bedroom ceiling, clothes soaked in rain from prancing around the city with you. how piercing your words were, how he thought for so long that you believed in him. how all of these events he can't stop thinking about, are about you. how proud he was of you, how lucky he was to have you, how insane it was that you wanted him. you wanted him at one point.

how he didn't care that he got sick, but certainly didn't understand why your sore throat and stuffy nose didn't make him feel a pang of distress. how he didn't care that no one else was refuting his talent, because they weren't you. he didn't care about anyone else in this world, but you.

even sober, i'm not thinking straight…

you're both twenty two.

he remembers his birthday going abhorrently wrong. you weren't there, per usual – you were too wrapped up with school to give heeseung a second thought. he'd long realized that he didn't want to lose you, but it seemed that you no longer cared to keep the friendship alive. he still has the messages he sent you, and is still amazed at the lack of typos despite being absolutely shitfaced.

message to: my y/n <3 [2022.10.15 | 11:23pm] it's my birthday, baby. [2022.10.15 | 11:24pm] you can't be here for me today? [2022.10.15 | 11:24pm] i miss you. i miss our friendship. [2022.10.15 | 11:26pm] i can't believe you're missing my birthday. i never miss your birthdays. [2022.10.15 | 11:30pm] is this it? are we done?  [2022.10.15 | 11:34pm] when will you come back to me? when, how much longer? [2022.10.15 | 11:35pm] when you graduate? i can wait. (not delivered!) [2022.10.15 | 11:47pm] just tell me how long. i'll wait. (not delivered!)[2022.10.16 | 12:02am] i'd wait forever for you (not delivered!)

he changed his number after that. he still doesn't know how you got his new one. he doesn't care to ask, either.

cause i'm off my face, in love with you…

you're both twenty five.

he's watching you slow dance with your fiancé, fingers interlaced behind his neck as jake's hands rest on your hips. he hates the jealousy that boils in his stomach, but doesn't bother to break eye contact with the tile on the ceiling with water damage.

i'm out my head, so into you…

he can feel his fingers tightening around the microphone stand, but can't seem to stop his eyes from averting as jake spins you gently, before your soft giggle hits his ears. you look up at jake with what he can only assume is adoration, before resting your cheek on his shoulder. you're looking right at heeseung, mouthing along to the song.

and i don't know how you do it…

you're fixing your posture instead, still staring at heeseung as jake takes your hand in his, kissing your knuckles. you instinctively smile at the feeling, and heeseung's eyes zero in on your fingers as you squeeze jake's hand.

once, twice, three times. i love you.

but i'm forever ruined by you, ooh, ooh, ooh.

"i love you." your eyes haven't left heeseung as you whisper the words, and you can see the way his eyes fill with fire as he looks away. you get a twisted feeling of satisfaction in your gut, before finally averting your eyes back to your fiancé. jake is smiling softly at you, and you quickly close the gap between you as heeseung continues to sing. your lips press against jake's smoothly, before he swiftly moves away. "i can't wait to marry you tomorrow." he whispers.

"me, too."

liar.

may 02.

the wedding is in twenty minutes.

your pantyhose has ripped, you tripped going up the stairs. you're not even wearing your dress yet. there are storm clouds gathering, and you can’t help but feel like everything in the universe is working against you. the only thing holding you together is your mother, her arms are wrapped tightly around you.

“are you sure we can’t just run away and elope?” you mumble into her shoulder, and your mother laughs. “not anymore. but,” she pulls away from you, cradling your face in her hands gently. “i love you, honey. everything will be okay.”

you hate the churn in your stomach at the word everything. because if everything were okay, it'd be sunny. if everything were okay, you'd be staring down an aisle full of people and only see heeseung at the end of it. if everything were okay, you would've never said yes to that first date.

“i love you.” you repeat, your hand resting on her wrists as you nod robotically. “i’ll see you out there, okay?”

“okay.” you breathe out shakily as she presses her lips to your hairline, lingering slightly before pulling away and leaving your room. you were alone now, and you glanced out the window at all the guests gathering on the beach. everyone is dressed so brightly, bunches of pinks and lilacs scattered across the sand. jake is waiting patiently at the end of the aisle, the forest green of his suit making his skin glow slightly brighter. how he does it, you don't know.

and then you see heeseung.

he’s dressed in black, despite the theme of the wedding being floral and natural. you grimace, forcing yourself to look away before spotting your dress hanging on the back of the door. you'd have to shimmy into it on your own, having sent everyone out in a fit of anxiety.

sighing, you unhook the heavy dress from the door, carefully letting the skirt pool on the floor as you step into it. it slides on perfectly, and you can't help but lose your breath at the sudden weight of the world on your chest. you're getting married, and you love jake.

but he'll never, ever be heeseung.

"tighten up, y/n. you've got this." you shake your head, reaching back and forcing the zipper up as high as you could. you had a hook-and-eye closure at the top, something you'd simply have to forego if you wanted to make it downstairs on time. groaning to yourself, you attempt to pull up the zipper just a bit more, before giving up and covering it with your veil. grabbing your bouquet, you give yourself a final glance in the mirror.

"you've got this. everything will be okay." 

your voice is shaky, but you swing your room door open anyway – only to be met with heeseung on the other side. his eyes widen, mouth slightly agape as you come into his view. "wow, you look…" "what are you doing here? you're supposed to be downstairs." you scold, shoving your keycard into the pocket of your dress. oh yeah, you've got it like that. "your mom asked me to come see what was taking so long. i told her you'd be down soon, but she insisted." he shrugs, so nonchalantly.

like none of this is eating away at him.

"ugh, whatever. come on." your tone is angry, but your face shows nothing but fear. his eyes follow as you storm towards the elevator, seeing the zipper of your dress slowly sliding down as you reach the doors. "here, hold on."

his fingers move your veil carefully as you step into the elevator, before pulling the fabric tighter together and pulling the zipper to the top. he carefully clasps the closure, and you swear you feel every hair on your body sticking up when his fingertips gently graze your back. "don't touch me, heeseung."

"i'm trying to help you. otherwise, you'd flash that entire crowd." he scoffs, pressing the floor button. you sigh, wrapping your arms around yourself as the elevator becomes silent. the tension is thick between you, you know it. your eyes never leave the neon sign, watching the floor numbers go by before heeseung reaches over and pulls the emergency lever.

"what the fuck are you doing?! i'm already late!" you gasp, hitting his arm with your bouquet when he stands in front of the lever. "i can't let you do this unless you hear what i have to say."

"heeseung, i'm getting married. this is the biggest day of my life–" your whining is cut short by his hand on your mouth, and only then do you see the unshed tears in his eyes. "the biggest day of my life was when i met you on that stupid playground. i never, ever in my life thought our friendship would end this way, and you know what, it makes me kind of sick."

he breathes deeply, removing his hand from your face as he sees the shock in your eyes. "you're saying you're already late to your big day, well i just want to say i beat you in that department. i've never had a problem with punctuality, but i really missed the mark on this one." his chuckle is dry, humorless as he looks at the bouquet in your hand. "i don't think i'll get over this, ever. i'll never get the chance to be in his place. but," he steps back, fingers gripping the emergency lever in his hand.

"i want you to know that it should be me. i should be the one waiting for you at the end of the aisle. i should be the one who gets to love you until the end of my days, and even then, you'd never die. you'd be loved by me forever, the evidence strewn all over the world in compositions and lyrics. i would never let you die."

he pushes the lever back, before moving back to his original spot next to you. the elevator doors open, revealing an empty lobby. the storm clouds are no longer that far away, and you can feel the humidity through the open plan of the resort.

"i am foolishly, hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you. and i hope you realize this is the biggest mistake of your life." his voice is soft, as is his smile when he offers his hand. "here's to your forever, my love."

you say nothing.

🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊

if heeseung was anything, it was a sick bastard. a sick, rat bastard who had no shame. your mother took you from his arm at the end of the aisle, and you didn't even realize you'd allowed him to lead you there. jake's eyes shone with what could only be identified as jealousy.

he smiled the entire ceremony, clapping and whistling alongside your other guests through the vows. the sappy vows jake had penned were poetic compared to yours, but he knew what you meant anyway. you felt several fat raindrops plop onto your head and shoulders, while heeseung had come prepared and shared his umbrella with your mother.

he even helped her inside once the rain really started pouring, just after your first kiss as a married couple. your stomach was boiling over in fury as you watched him laugh with her, his eyes only meeting yours once with a soft smile. 

you and jake slipped away to change into your reception clothing, his suit jacket abandoned and sleeves rolled up, showing off the watch you got him for his birthday. your ballroom white dress, now stained with sand, was traded in for an a-line style. jake met you in front of the resort, his fingers curled in yours when he finally spoke.

"we really did it, huh." he says quietly, his eyes scanning the shut doors of the reception venue. you nod, your breath caught in your throat when he takes a step back, his hand squeezing yours. "two years." your ears twitch at this. "what?" "all i ask for is two years. we can have a kid. we'll have an heir to our wills. we can get divorced after two years, and you can be with him." he breathes, eyes following the pattern on the heavy wooden door. you choke out a scoff of disbelief, your throat burning. "what the fuck are you talking about, jaeyun?" he winces at the use of his name, so used to gentle baby and sweetened honey. a sigh escapes his lips as he turns to face you. "i know you love him, y/n. you don't have to hide it from me. you wouldn't have brought him all the way out here, you wouldn't have gone behind my back and changed the plans for the band. your mom loves him, for crying out loud. i never stood a chance." he chuckles sadly, and your tears are hot as they flow down your face.

"how can you say that, jaeyun? i'm married to you, i've chosen you, over anything and anyone in this world! how can you say such things?!" your hurt is evident, but he can't figure out if it's because of the little blame game or if it's because you truly, deeply love him. he doesn't know what to say, but reaches to wipe your tears. you jerk away, a frown etched on your glossed lips as you wipe them yourself. you take a deep breath, grabbing the door knob.

"fix your face." you mutter, a tone jake had never received from you as he sighed, painting a smile of everything's okay on his face as the two of you threw the doors open in unison. your crowd of guests cheered loudly, rice flying everywhere as they welcomed you in. the band was loudly playing got to be real by cheryl lynn, and you almost forget jake's painful words behind the door. you almost forget that heeseung will be queueing up to sing for you and your husband, for free, on the very stage you're now standing in front of. 

jungwon hands you a microphone and two champagne flutes, before slinking away to his seat. you hand one to jake, who swirls it nervously.

"wow, it's such an honor to have all of our loved ones here today." your voice is shaky as you take them all in, dozens of eyes staring you down. "i mean, i've waited for this day since i was a little girl. it's a blessing to finally see it in color, in person. thank you." jake breathes in deeply, before looking away to blink back tears. "i'm not crying, my eyes are just sweating." he speaks into the microphone, earning an empathetic laugh from the guests, your hand ghosts over his back, and he stiffens at it. "i'm so…so terribly in love with y/n. i can't believe this day is real." a soft aww echoes in the room, your chest tightening as you see heeseung sitting next to your mother. he's cooing with everyone else. "and i can't wait to be a man that is continuously worthy of her love. to y/n." 

you almost burst into tears as everyone raises their drinks to you, the clink of glasses adding to the emotion as you and jake find your seats at the end of the hall. you sit gingerly, holding jake's hand under the table tightly. "i love you, jake." "i love you, y/n."

🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊

the speeches were a mess. jay was a mess of tears, and minjeong spewed bullshit about the two of you being like sisters. heeseung hadn't met her until five minutes after the ceremony, and if you had been close to anyone enough to consider them a sibling, he'd know them. no one knew you like he did.

"and now, for the newlyweds' first dance! we have a very special guest singing for us today, please give a warm welcome and round of applause to y/n's longest friend, lee heeseung!" 

he smiled nervously as he took the stage, a puffy-eyed jay sitting behind him as he tested the microphone. "thank you for having me, and congratulations to the newlyweds. y/n, i'm eternally proud of you and so grateful to be here on your special day. i love you." none of the guests know it means something more to him, to you, as they let out an aww. how heartwarming, that your lifelong best friend was here for you. how lovely, that he was supporting you every step of the way.

he sang carefully, watching as you and jake held each other tightly, swaying to the song. he can hear your sniffle, a soft sob into jake's shoulder as he lovingly strokes your back. he looks away.

it should be him.

it should be heeseung, that gets to see you wear white. it should be heeseung, that gets to plan a tedious wedding at your instruction. it should be heeseung that gets to take you on a romantic honeymoon and spend all day in the sun and all night glued to your bed. it should be heeseung that gets to shampoo your hair for you when you're feeling too tired, it should be heeseung that gets to watch you put lipstick on in the morning just to ruin it before you're out the door. 

it should be him. and everyone knows it, no matter if they know your history or not.

"thank you, everyone. let's hear it for the newlyweds!"

october 15.

"hey."

it's been over a year since your wedding. you and jake had happily posted tons of wedding photos, piled over with honeymoon flicks. you and heeseung hadn't spoken since the wedding. he left right after the first dance, catching the first ferry back to seoul. he didn't bother contacting you to see if you'd made it back safely, he didn't bother to message you a happy birthday when it came around. he just didn't care.

he dropped out of college for the second time, and spent the summer going around seoul auditioning for companies. decelis entertainment finally gave him a break, and only after he got his contract did he find out that jake and all of his friends were also at this company.

he was polite in the hallways. he smiled, he waved, he engaged in small talk and perused the past. he didn't ask questions, he didn't initiate. he spent his time holed away in the studio with a producer named yeonjun, recording for hours on end without a break. he was set to debut in two weeks, having dropped his first teaser just two days prior.

all without you to cheer him on.

"what are you doing here?" his voice was cold, nothing you weren't used to at this point. his hair wasn't red anymore, now a natural chocolate brown. it suited him. "came to visit, heard from jake that you've been training for a year." "what's it to you?"

he's being harsh, he knows he's being harsh.

"hey, y/n. nice to see you." jake calls from across the hall, exiting his studio with jay and sunghoon in tow. the two of them seem to say nothing at the sudden casualties between you and jake, or the insinuation that he hadn't seen you in a while. heeseung gives you a glance, your hands holding a gift and a grocery bag. "may i come in?" "i'm busy, at the moment." he coughs, ignoring the way your eyes roll. "too busy for a slice of cake?" you hold up a bag in your fingers, and his eyes narrow. he leans back into the studio, his eyes scanning the calendar for any potential special dates. he's not even flipped to the right month, the calendar reading july.

"shit, did i miss something?" he whips out his phone, which you simply cover with your hand. a soft laugh escapes your lips as you lift your other hand, the gift bag screaming happy birthday in gold glitter flashing at him. "oh, man." he moves away from the door, allowing you to walk in. you look around, and although the studio doesn't belong to him, it sure smells like him. it looks like him, it's covered in him, it feels like home.

"happy birthday, hee." you say gently, setting the gift down on the couch and slowly sitting down to unwrap his cake. "i know it's not much, but i'm barely here." you chuckle, tapping your temple as he takes a seat in his desk chair. he's wary, you can tell.

"something on your mind?" "why are you here? i debut in two weeks, i don't need any bullshit." he rubs his temples, and you only frown. "you know, once upon a time, you would've been happy to have me here." your tone is pointed, and heeseung sighs. "fine, fine. i'm sorry."

"i'm the one who should be sorry." you murmur, and heeseung says nothing. he knows you're right. 

you're both quiet, before heeseung notices the candle next to the cake. he rolls the chair over, his fingers carefully centering the candle. "have you got a light?" 

you shake your head no, a sheepish look in your eyes. "i'm sorry. we can pretend, if that's okay?" he hates the way his lips twitch into a smile at your wide eyes. "yeah, we can pretend." 

you sing for him softly, your cheek squished into your hand as you lean on the armrest. he closes his eyes, making a wish and blowing the makeshift flame out. "what'd you wish for?" you yawn, and he shakes his head.

"won't come true if i tell you." shrugging, he rolls back over to his desk, leaving the cake on the table. you just make a noise of agreement, before a sigh slips past you. "i heard your teaser, you know." he doesn't care to react, only giving you a short sound. "mhm?" "is it about me?" you ask, and he straightens in his chair before spinning around to face you. "all my songs are about you. every single one of them." he gestures to a tattered journal on the soundboard. it's covered in stickers, and…a taped photo of you and him as toddlers. "oh."

"i mean what i say, y/n." he rolls his eyes, before spinning back around. "if it were me, i'd never let you die."

but it is you, you think. it's always been you.

"why did jake say it was nice to see you?" he asks, too cowardly to look you in the eyes. he hears your sigh, before hearing you shift around on the couch. he spins around again, only to see you have removed your shoes and tucked your legs beneath you. his eyes scan you, before looking at your fingers. your ring is gone, replaced by a chunky painite stone in silver. your eyes are gently burning into him, and he shivers in the warmth. "well…why?" "before the reception, he told me he knew." you shrug, "he knew how you felt about me, and how i allegedly felt about you. he brought up my mother, and how he felt like he'd never stood a chance." 

"but he did. you married him, after all." heeseung rolls his eyes as you shrug, blinking slowly as you speak again. "we gave it a good shot. maybe i should've listened to all those superstitions, they're not such bullshit. the tripping, the rain, god, the way my ring was too tight." you scoff sadly, before glancing back up at him.

he seems to understand. if he doesn't, he doesn't say anything. sighing, you reach over to rustle the gift bag with your fingers. "you've got to open this, you know." 

"y/n, i can't do this." he breathes out, eyes screwed shut. "i can't sit here with you and pretend like we're all good, like you're not married to the same guy i share a company with. we stopped being friends a long time ago, what are you trying to do here?" "i'm not trying to do anything but reconnect. i fully accepted the fact that whether or not you're with me, you're still someone i love. i spent years trying to figure out why you drifted away from me, and then jake and i sat down at our dinner table a few weeks ago after meeting with the lawyer and he asked me about our friendship. so i told him everything, from the very beginning."

heeseung can't breathe as you get up, walking towards him and slowly sinking into a squat. your hands are on his knees, giving a gentle squeeze before you speak.

"i'm sorry i made it seem like i had no faith in you. i said horrible things to you, even if they seemed right to me, and i'm so sorry that it took someone else to tell me that i'd treated you so badly that day." 

his eyes are brimming with tears, but he looks away from you. he can't cry, not now, not in front of you. 

"you've always been like that, though." he murmurs, picking at his cuticles when you carefully take his hands in yours. he suppresses a sob as the warmth of you envelopes his fingers, "i was projecting. i thought that everyone had to be like me, that everyone had to have a plan. some people are just better at flying by the seat of their pants, i mean, look at all you've accomplished despite me saying such shitty things to you. you're about to debut, you're going to see great success. everyday i'm rooting for you, even if i'm not the person you go home to."

you give his hands a firm squeeze. once, twice, three times. i love you.

"are you divorced?" 

you scoff out a soft laugh, looking down at his jeans. "jake and i haven't been together since the wedding. we spent the honeymoon playing mermaids and crying over whiskey sours."

"i can't forgive you right now." he confesses, making your head snap up to look at him. he swallows hard, "i can't forgive you right now, because i'm still mad at you. for saying those things to me, and…and you hurt me, when you asked me to sing for your wedding. it hurt me a lot, y/n." "i'm sorry, hee." you whisper, your thumbs wipe at the tears spilling from his eyes. he leans into your touch, before pulling away. "i know you are, y/n. i know."

he gently pushes away, offering his hand to help you up. you take it, and he waits for you to put your shoes on before leading you back to the door. "i'll call you, okay? when i'm ready."

you step out of the studio, peering up at him with sad eyes. "you promise?"

he sighs, nodding his head. "i promise, baby."

BABEYUN © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

[h8ani]

Sasuke Uchiha x Reader

Word Count - 3.3k

Warnings - fem!reader, slight overstimulation, fingering, oral (female receiving)

A/N - after months of having this in my notebook I finally finished it T.T I just wanna say thank you to everyone for liking part 1 & 2 of this and I hope you enjoy this just as much! I didn't expect to make multiple parts for this but I lowkey already have ideas for more parts if anyone is enjoying it enough to want more!

taglist! - @kkittycries @blackfire2013 @benkeibear @suyacho

join my taglist → here

Part One → Part Two → Part Three → Part Four

The door of your apartment slams as you trudge in, the sloshing of your shoes, soaked with the rain from the downpour that just drenched you outside. You dart for the couch, grabbing the closest pillow and quickly shoving your face into it and letting out a scream that would have alerted the neighbors in some way if it wasn’t muffled.

All day something has gone wrong, if it wasn’t one thing it was surely the next. It’s as if the gods above were playing games with you just to see how much you could handle before you undoubtedly snapped. 

Waking up late wouldn’t have been such a bother if it wasn’t for the meeting with the Hokage you had. You had a performance review about the latest mission you were just on and no shock to you, it brought up how bad of a screw-up you must’ve been because all that was said was everything you did wrong. You were reprimanded for that along with your tardiness to the meeting, on top of that you never ate breakfast because of the rush you were in. Deciding after the meeting ramen would be the perfect meal to drown in your sorrows and finally get something in your system, only to realize that being in such a rush you absentmindedly forgot your coin purse. Deciding to finally leave and go back home, Mother Nature wanted to make sure you got there quickly and started a downpour just for you. Being soaked from head to toe was something every girl just needed, and so, here you are. 

The frustration building inside of you makes every inch of your body feel like it might explode, tears threaten to spill past your bottom lashes and onto your cheeks but you refuse to cry and give in to the absolute shit show of a day you’ve endured. Your throat constricts while you take a deep breath, as you exhale the subtle sound of your doorknob twisting is heard, the door opens slightly, and before you can think your fingers fumble with your kunai, quickly throwing it and seeing it lodge into the wall next to the door. 

Sasuke walks in to stop as he sees you, glancing at the kunai and then back at you. His eyes scan your body, seeing you sopping wet with a puddle of water soaking your once dry carpet, you were frowning at him and your eyes were slightly red even as you blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. “Bad day?” He comes inside, locking the door once it's been shut. 

“Yeah, you could say that.” Your voice was small yet still croaked as you spoke. He nods, not saying anything more as he makes his way towards you, hands gripping your wrist and tugging you back towards your room. Immediately you start to pull your wrist back albeit weakly. “Not that kinda bad day.” 

“I figured as much.” He shrugs his jacket off and tosses it on your bed, if you had the energy you’d scoff at how he’s making it seem as if this was his room. 

“No I mean-”

“Can you shut up for a second?” He interjects while waving a hand in your direction, ignoring the glare you shoot at him as he walks to your bathroom. He disappears for a moment until you hear the shower turn on. Once again making himself feel at home. You open your mouth to call to him when he reappears, hand beckoning you over.

Against your better judgment, you move towards him, feet seemingly having a mind of their own, and follow him into your bathroom. The steam that was already filling the small bathroom gave you a warm hug of warmth, not realizing how cold you were from the rain. A content sigh leaves your lips accepting the new damp warmth you felt. 

“Wanna tell me what got you like this?” He asks while pulling his shirt off and dropping it at your feet. Confusion crosses your features as he continues to undress in front of you, the heat from the steam leaving and going straight to your face, you jerk your head away from him as you mumble a half ass answer about how it’s raining outside. You hear the rest of his clothes fall against the tile floor as he discards them all, quickly kicking them to the side so your wet ones don’t drip on his. 

“How are you not wet? The weather outside is awful.” You ask, head still turned away to not look at him, still unsure as to why he decided to strip. It’s not like you haven’t seen him but the close proximity and eye contact are still something you weren’t used to. 

“It’s called an umbrella, the clouds were dark, and it was obvious it was going to rain. You’d have to be blind to not see that.” You snap your head to glare at him which turned to sudden wide eyes as he was fully naked in front of you. Your eyes wander from his chest down to his toned stomach and venture further until- “Eyes up here.” He smirks when he sees the flush of your face. 

“Why am I even in here?” 

“We’re going to shower, you need to relax.”

“I- we- huh?” You stutter out, the gears in your head coming to a halt while you look at him as if a second head grew out of his neck. Sasuke rolls his eyes and slips his fingers under the bottom of your top and tugs it off and over your head, it drops to the floor with a loud splat sound from the rainwater soaked in it. 

“I said you needed to relax, now shut up, stop asking questions, and take your pants off.”

“God you’re such a-”

“Yeah whatever, just hurry up before the hot water runs out.” 

Once again, against your better judgment, you listen to him, your clothes are off and discarded with your shirt, a small pool of water creating around it. Soon you’re stepping into your shower first, the heat of the water relaxing your sore and aching body and warming you up in an instant. You audibly sigh and allow your eyes to close just feeling the water beat and fall down your chest like a steady stream. 

Sasuke is soon after you, hands finding a place on your waist, the subtle squeeze making your body freeze up as if the water had turned frigid. “Relax, Jesus it’s just me.” Sasuke says, you can feel the huff of his breath on the back of your neck which does nothing to calm you down. 

Relax? It’s just me? That’s exactly the reason why you couldn’t, the sole fact that if you two weren’t fucking then what was the point of being here? What was the point of this? This was too nice for him, too intimate. 

His hands slide from your waist up to your shoulders and feel his thumbs press down and slowly rub, easily bringing you back from your thoughts. “You’re tense.”

“When am I not?” You joke, amusement evident as it was so obvious you’ve never been a relaxed person. The expectations are always so high for you even from such a young age, even now with so many responsibilities on your plate the urge to sleep and ignore it all is so heavy. 

Sasuke doesn’t respond, thumbs pushing down deeper into your muscles massaging out all of the tenseness you have. You lean back against his chest, eyes shutting once again and letting a sigh escape your lips. His hands go down your back keeping the pressure to work out the rest of your body. “Fuck..” You whimper.

“There we go..” His fingers dig into your lower back finding the place where you melt into him, you lean your head back against his shoulder and sigh contentedly. 

“Thank you for this.” You say quietly, barely heard over the stream of water coming from your shower head. It was a soft moment, both of you two never uttering anything other than foul comments to one another, always making sure the next word hurt more than the last, yet here you were; eyes closed and guard down against the chest of someone you couldn’t stand to look at when you were kids. 

“Shut up.” His chest rises as he scoffs before dipping down to kiss your shoulder. “You looked a mess when I got here.” 

Ignoring his comment, you bend forward to turn the heat up higher, you soon turn around to face him, his hair is damp and his cheeks are flushed from the steamy air. He didn’t have his signature grimace that always laid upon his face, being this close where the tension wasn’t filled with anger was…different. 

His hands made their way back to your waist, squeezing the soft plush of your skin. The air; although thick with vapor, was brittle as a crisp autumn leaf, so fragile it could break if you breathed, and if it didn't snap you felt like you just might. Neither of you speaks, you fumble with your fingers, unsure if you should lay them on him as he has his on you. 

Almost as if he could hear your thoughts, his hand slid to the back of your neck tugging you closer, a quiet “Come here.” leaving his lips before he was on yours. 

Unknowing if it’s because of the intimacy of being in the shower together and the vulnerability it gave off, but the kiss emitted every little bit of exposure you felt. His hands held onto you tightly while yours lay upon his chest. Collectively, a sigh left you both; unspoken words left between you both and died on each other's tongue.

~~ 

You feel the cool sheets against your warm skin as you plop yourself on your bed, the fluffy pajama bottoms you now have on bringing an added level of cozy you oh so needed to your day. You finally felt relaxed; cold, damp clothes soon forgotten as well as the ravenette who stood behind you. Your mind was mulled over with the sudden leisure that you couldn’t stop the squeal that escaped you when Sasuke’s cold hand wrapped around your ankle and pulled you down the length of your bed. You turn to look at him when his lips come crashing into your own, soft lips pressing hard while you melt into his touch, kissing Sasuke has started to feel familiar, a comfort in kissing his lips and knowing how the other works. 

One of his hands comes up to take place at your throat, slightly squeezing to elicit a small whimper from you. Just like you feeling familiarity in his lips he feels the same in knowing just how you’d react, feeling just as if he knows a part of you. His hand slips to the back of your neck pulling you closer, tongue slipping in and claiming your mouth for his own. His kisses become hungrier, more passionate. Fingers tilting your chin up so your throat is now exposed, he leaves wet open-mouthed kisses down your jaw and descends further down your neck. You become putty to his mouth as he finds your sweet spot, another whine leaves your lips only igniting him further.

His hands leave your neck and grip onto your waist pulling you to him and grinding your hips into his erection. Every whine and whimper that leaves your mouth sends every impulse in him into overdrive. “Still having a bad day?” He breathes out, lips ghosting over the sensitive mark he just created.

“It could be better.” You giggle, legs instinctively pulling him even closer to your clothed core. He smirks against the skin of your neck while hooking his fingers into the waistband of your pajama bottoms, you lift your hips allowing him to tug them off. He shifts himself down until he’s on his knees at the foot of your bed, he tugs you down to the edge of your bed until he’s at eye level with your already glistening core. Strong hands push your thighs until they’re pressed against your chest, a low growl reverberating in his chest. You’re this wet just from a few simple kisses, how pathetic. 

His head dips down and licks through your slick, lips attaching to your clit and sucking causing your hips to buck in his mouth. He chuckles, the vibration pulsing your entire lower half as your hand shoots to his still-damp hair, your fingers thread and slightly tug while he circles his tongue. A quiet moan leaves your lips causing his eyes to shoot up and look at you, he sees your eyes closed; his tongue relieving you of all your stressors from the day. The small whimpers you let out only make his gaze darker, hungrier for you. 

“I know you can be louder than that.” He says as he pulls back. Finally, you look down at him and see his black eyes boring into you, he sees your eyes glossy and lips slightly parted, he hasn’t even made you cum yet and you’re already like this, but that doesn’t stop the pout that forms on your face. Your hand tightens its grip on his hair and tugs his face closer to your heat. 

“Keep going-”

“Be louder, I want to hear you.” His words are demanding, making you jut your lip out in a pout once more. “Be louder or I’ll leave.” You huff a breath and look away from him only to feel a quick slap to your thigh causing you to yelp and snap your head right back to him. No words being said between the both of you but you know it was a threat. His head dips back down sinking further as he keeps his eyes trained on yours while running his tongue through your slick core, his thumb putting just the right amount of pressure to evoke a slurry of curse words from your mouth. Your hips move and grind against his tongue, your hand tugging roughly at his hair causing him to groan into you. Thumb now leaves your clit and quickly replaces it with his mouth, his skillful tongue circling and flicking, having you clench down on nothing. Your whimpers turn to moans and now his name is the only thing you’re able to say. 

You orgasm without warning, fingers tightening even more in his locks while your thighs trap him. A choked-out moan is heard loudly in his ears, another groan vibrates your body as he laps up all of your juices, his skillful tongue sending shivers up your spine as he doesn’t pull away while you ride your high. 

Once the oversensitivity set in you squirm in his grip, legs planting down to try and push away from him but his arms quickly hook under your thighs and spread you wider for him, giving him even more access to your pussy. His lips suck harshly around your clit extracting a high pitch squeal from you. “Sasuke!” Your once woven fingers in his hair were now pushing him away, the oversensitivity having tears prick your waterline, it was beginning to feel too much, too much pleasure building up right after you just came. 

Sasuke was eating you like he was starved, the lewd and wet sounds coming from where his mouth connected with your pussy were all that could be heard. The coil in your stomach begins to tighten again and your legs tremble, a silent indicator you were so close only minutes after your first orgasm. 

As if he could read your mind and body so easily, Sasuke pushes two fingers in and pumps them at a quick pace, curling them as he does so. You’re shaking, his fingers hitting your g-spot again and again and again-

Your eyes roll back while you cum, your body tensing up and your head being thrown and pressed back into your mattress as you moan loudly. Once your body loosens up and legs go limp he finally pulls away. 

The bed dips down as he climbs up your body, a cheeky smile plastered on his face when he sees the fucked out look on yours, a sense of pride filling his chest up to know he got you like this just from his tongue alone. Your eyes settled on his, trailing down to see his lips and chin coated in your slick. 

Your chest rises with heavy breaths, eyes weary as you slowly blink up at him, the subtle tint of your face changing when catching his own eyes already looking down at yours. 

His eyes scan your face, seeing how you divert your own away from him while trying to regain your breath. It’s funny, he did all the work and you’re the one out of breath. Sasuke fits himself more comfortably in between your legs, laying more of his weight on you as you both just relax in silence. 

He can’t help but look at you in a different light, when he first came over months ago he didn’t know what got ahold of him. He was the last person you wanted to see and vice versa, but that didn’t stop him from barging in, he was always watching the village in one way or another, whether it was from word of mouth by someone or when he could sneak away, somehow whenever the latter happened you were always one of the first people he happened to catch sight of. 

It was annoying. 

He felt the irritation run up his neck when he saw you, the way you’d walk almost as if your nose was in the air, thinking you were better than him, better than everyone around you. Just seeing you from a distance he couldn’t stand, it’s like the same little girl he remembered back then was still in his head, glaring at him and calling him all the insults under the sun whenever he jabbed at you, but when he finally saw you he couldn’t help but be a little happy to see that same signature scowl that appeared on your face. 

That first night he didn’t even come to fuck you, that was the last thing that he would have thought would happen, but when push literally came to shove against that damn wall his body took over, all the pent-up frustrations between you two over the years hitting the breaking point. 

He can’t lie and say nothing has changed since he started coming over more frequently. He wasn’t supposed to be sneaking back into the village, he wasn’t meant to be seeing you so much, having moments like this. It’s easier to say he doesn’t give a damn about you, that it’s just the sex that keeps bringing him back, but when he does something so out of character as he did today he can’t help but feel like he should’ve just fucked you and left; pushed your bad day to the side, ignore your borderline broken figure and used you to his liking. He’s no nurturer, far from it yet he still worked your sore muscles out and had you cum till you were dizzy. 

“This won’t happen again.” He thinks to himself. He can’t come back, he won’t. This will be the last time you see him and he sees you. The last time he feels your soft skin against him, fingers dancing across his back and playing with the hair while you both calm down. The last time you see his eyes staring back at you, different emotions each time and never knowing which one it is. 

He’s convinced himself of it, never again.

But when you bat your pretty little eyes like you’re doing right now he can’t help but mentally curse himself as he finds himself leaning down to press his lips against yours. 

He knows he’s going to come back.

He knows it and he can’t help but hate you for it. 

networks: @enchantedforest-network / @bitchcraftinc / @ghostqueue

[whumpbug]

Hello Bug!!! I'm sure I don't speak for everyone when I say that I've been wondering why Sylvia fell in love with Clint. It seems like they really don't get along and that when she was alive, they butted heads a lot over arguments about how to raise a child. She also seemed to kind of fear him (not as much as Gene of course, but enough that she seemed like she was resigned to not always being able to protect him from him)

Were things different when they first met? Does Gene blame himself for how screwed up their relationship got?

UGH thank you so much for the question this is exactly the oppurtunity i was looking for to Ramble about gene's parents because ever since i've made them, they're so important to me. they are such a huge part of why gene is the way he is. SO THANK U SM!!!

u know the drill. long post incoming under the cut.

cw: child abuse, brief suicide mention, period typical sexism

✮⋆˙

about clint:

okay so i'm going to start by talking a little more about clint. im going to give a little disclaimer first, and that is that none of what i'm about to say justifies what he does to gene, it is simply explaining why he does it. i don't personally think clint is an awful person, but his actions are awful, no matter how complex the reasoning. this is not me justifying child abuse.

so clint grew up with a father that was far, far worse than he was. his father was aggressive, violent, apathetic, and never felt bad about anything he did. the abuse that clint, his siblings, and his mother went through is unimaginable. his mother took her own life when he was 19 because of it.

because of the kind of father he had, he learned two things. one, was that he wanted to treat women with respect, because the way his father treated his mother made him sick. he held true to that. never did he ever lay a finger on sylvia, no matter how heated the argument. his respect is part of what made her fall for him.

the second thing is that he didn't particularly want kids. he didn't want to make the same mistakes his father did with him, and he wasn't sure if that was possible so the solution was just not to have kids.

then he met sylvia.

about clint and sylvia:

sylvia and clint hit it off right away. first off, he's Not Ugly. gene got his good looks from both parents, but the handsome, sharp angles were straight from his pa. clint was infatuated with sylvia's spunk and beauty and caring nature, and the fact that she didn't care what her dad thought of him. she was never ashamed or embarassed of clint, and that was healing in a way.

anyways, things happen and sylvia ended up getting pregnant only a few months after they were married.

clint panicked.

he was Not ready to be a father, he wasn't sure if he never wanted kids (especially not a son. the sad truth is i think had the baby been a girl, so many of these problems would have been solved), but this was definitely soon, and it was only made worse by how excited sylvia seemed about it. he didn't want to rain on her parade so to speak, so he never said anything. that was one of their main problems-- clint never communicated because he thought sharing emotions was not something a man should do

their relationship only changed for the worse from there

about clint and sylvia-- post-gene:

when gene was born, clint wouldn't even hold him.

sylvia was, of course, heartbroken, but she didn't push him. when he started pulling away from her and baby gene, she didn't push him. she was too busy handling a new baby, after all.

but the full change in clint was one that sylvia never expected, and it was really really hard on her

clint became cold, angrier, more reserved and aggresive, and honest became more like his father. he was always unnecessarily hard on gene, especially because gene was a boy. he fell into the same kind of patterns that his father did, and by the time sylvia realized it, it was already sort of too late.

as feisty as she was, she was still a woman in the 1800s. she didn't have the agency over her son that clint did, and though she knew clint would never physically hurt her, there still wasn't a whole lot she could do. she was also very religious, as is typical for a southern girl, and didn't believe in divorce, so she had to deal with it.

her and clint had plenty of screaming matches about how to raise gene-- they had very different ideas of how to parent. clint wanted to raise gene into the Perfect Man-- mean, tough, and strong. sylvia just wanted to let him grow into his own person, and it just so happened that gene was a sweetheart. syliva truly didn't see a problem with that.

so yea, unfortunately, gene's birth kind of did ruin their marriage. the sad fact is that if he had never been born, they probably would have been an extremely happy, healthy couple. it was just unfortunate all around.

gene's thoughts:

even when he was little, gene was all too aware that he was the cause of his parents' problems, and it destroyed him from the inside out.

when he was only 5 or 6, he used to literally wish he hadn't been born so that "mama and papa could be happy again". its actually devastating. UGH sorry i made myself sad writing that

when sylvia died, his relationship with his father only got more estranged. he lived with him for a while after, and helped him on the farm and with the chores and things like that. still, they hardly interacted. they maybe had one conversation every month or so. gene felt very isolated in those years

gene doesn't hate his father though. as awful as he was to him, he doesnt hate him because he knows why he is the way he is. a core memory for him was when, a few months after sylvia died, he walked into the house to grab his coat he forgot and accidentally walked in on clint sobbing viscerally while clutching one of sylvia's dresses. he didn't see gene, and gene never ever brought it up.

the experience sort of humanized his father, and from then on, gene thought it best to just stay out his way and try not to cause problems for him.

nowadays, gene obviously doesn't live with clint anymore, but he still visits every month, and helps with the more physically demanding chores because clint is getting up there in years. clint, without fail, sends him home with a bottle of liquor and some gun oil. its their strange little routine, but gene has come to appreciate it. his father is all he has left, after all.

✮⋆˙

i hope this answers your question anon!!! it's so interesting to explore the people that raised gene because i feel like im getting so much content to characterize him with it, so don't be afraid to ask more or request fics!!!!! i really really appreciate your questions!!!

[hurdy-girly]

Amani’s tiny hand gripped my own. She was small, much too small, but her grip was strong. I took it as a promise, that she’d grow to be brave. I adjusted the blue shawl I’d bundled her in and mumbled a lullaby. It had been decades since I’d heard it, but it rolled off my tongue nonetheless.

The window cracked open and the sound of rain filled the room. I didn’t glance up from Amani. I knew who it was. Their presence was as familiar as the lullaby. Intense, ancient, overwhelming. The usual.

Amani’s face screwed up and she let out a cry.

“Open all the windows, Tsani,” I said. I rocked my leg and shushed Amani. “You know the strength your presence. You’re upsetting her.”

Tsani said nothing, but I heard the windows creak open. The pressure decreased. Amani’s face relaxed. I continued the lullaby.

“This will hurt.”

I hummed in response and adjusted the shawl again.

Tsani let out a sigh. It echoed through the clouds. “Amara, listen to me. This will hurt. Don’t be rash.”

I lifted Amani into the crook of my left arm and rocked her. I felt around on my side table for a moment blindly. My right hand closed around an abandoned paintbrush, and I tossed it behind me. Tsani stirred with frustration.

“So old, and yet so young,” they scolded.

“Age and maturity aren’t direct, Tsani.”

“So you can listen.”

I rolled my eyes. Amani whined in her sleep again. I lifted her up and kissed her head. She had wisps of hair. Soft, and brown.

“You are not stupid, Amara. You know that this will only lead to pain.” The walls creaked. Tsani’s ancient steps shook the floors. Their presence moved in front of me. I spotted their incomprehensible nature from the corner of my eye.

“She was alone. Abandoned in the rain.” I shifted her in my arms, turning her head to my chest. She’d probably sleep a while longer, but I didn’t want to risk her waking up. Seeing them. Some things can never be forgotten, and she was too young for it.

“Then take her to the churches. They will care for her.” Tsani tried to lift my head. I swatted them away. They sighed. “Amara. The pain of losing the child will break you. You care too hard,” they pleaded.

I thumbed the scarf. Amani gripped my hand again.

“I know I do.” I looked up. Tsani’s large, beast like form brushed against the ceiling. Their wide eyes scanned me. “I don’t care.” Tsani rumbled with frustration, like a thunder cloud. The lights flickered. Amani gripped my thumb tighter.

“Recklessness is not a parenting style.” They prowled around me. This time, I held their gaze.

“If I let mortals take Amani, they will die one day. They will leave her alone.” I rubbed her cheek. “I will not. I refuse to.”

Tsani whipped their tail, knocking a lamp down. “Why do you care so much? For once, be selfish!” Amani began to cry. I held her closer and glared.

Memories flashed before my eyes. My own small hands. My mothers.

Blood.

Her final wish. To be the one to outlive me, instead of how it went.

“This is me being selfish.”

The abandoned child you’ve taken in sleeps on your lap as the god who gave you immortality softly warns you. “This will hurt.”

[an-all-write-life]

Could you do "before we jump" or "laying on the spring grass" with Jason Todd please?

Warning(s): None

A/N: I did “laying on the spring grass” since I got another request for “before we jump” with Jason. ^_^

“That one’s a bunny.“ Jason said.

“Nuh-uh.” You protested. “It’s an elephant. See the trunk?”

Jason shook his head. “You’re crazy. Don’t you see the fluffy tail? It’s obviously a bunny.”

“You need to get your eyes checked,” You said, closing your eyes and relishing the warmth of the sun on your skin.

The sky was a bright blue, fluffy white clouds blowing across gently. The kind that were perfect for cloud watching. You and Jason were lying in the Manor’s backyard, blades of grass tickling your arms. Tulips and daffodils were blooming, their bright colors adding to the warm atmosphere.

Jason’s hand was clasped with yours, his thumb rubbing gently along your knuckles.

You were just beginning to doze off, the sun’s warmth lulling you to sleep, when you heard Jason’s voice.

“I love you, [Y/N].”

Your eyes opened and you turned your head to find him gazing at you, his blue eyes shining in the sunlight.

“What?”

A panicked expression crossed his face, his grip on your hand tightening. “I–nothing. I shouldn’t–I shouldn’t have said anything. I thought you were asleep.”

“So you only said it because you thought I wouldn’t hear?” You asked.

He bit his lip, his eyes flicking from your eyes to the sky and back again.

“I didn’t want to…upset things between us. I didn’t want you to feel like you have to say it back.”

“I love you too,” You said, a smile on your lips. “And I’m not just saying it back; I mean it.”

Jason’s face lit up. “Really?”

You nodded, leaning across to kiss his nose. “With all my heart.”

“I Love You” Prompts-Closed

Everything tag list: @rogrsnbarnes @avengerdragoness @fangirlnova @sonoflac @redhoodparker @pythiaaa @silversilvercat @purplemetahuman @emmadevr @jaybirdxarsenal @harpertoddfangirl  @superpeanutwastaken @rynne311 @miss-alys  @nxxttime @mizmahlia  @thebeastwrites @local-fandom-trashcan @rnindexplosion @mimikyu-of-death @ihatebagels @pooiooi

Jason Todd tag list: @rebellca@jason-todd-rh@boosyboo9206@peterparkers-waffles@blu-eyed-devil@jason-todd-squad

Strikethrough means I can’t tag you.

Wanna be tagged? Let me know!

[gerec]

Gerec’s Favorite Fics - 2021

I thought I would wait until after Secret Mutant Reveals to post this but I think I'll just do a separate post! Anyway, these are my personal faves of 2021!!!

-----

and we can be pirates by faerie_ground

“Kitty,” Charles says reasonably, “it can’t be that bad, can it?”

“DEFCON FIVE, CHARLES!” Kitty screams into the receiver, temporarily deafening Charles, before cutting the call.

Or Erik is the very scary CEO of his successful business and Charles is his childhood best friend who's the only one who can calm him down.

Playing House by ClarkeStetler, Goosenik

Erik Lehnsherr has been 'fighting for mutant rights' for the last couple years. Some might call it terrorism, but those people were narrow-minded. Unfortunately, this means that when Magda Maximoff died, no one was able to locate him to let him know that his children were without a guardian. Charles Xavier was selected as their foster parent instead, and had been doing an excellent job for the past year. Erik is back now and has no intention of being separated from his children, but working together for the kids is easier said than done.

A River Casts No Shadow by kianspo

This is a coda to the Marriage Bargain, and it takes place over 70 years after the events of the main fic. Charles and Erik's children, most notably David, reflect on the true nature of their parents' feelings for each other and learn to let go.

invisible string by soetry (WIP)

“We’re just raising a child together,” Erik snapped. “Relax about it.”

in which charles xavier and erik lehnsherr were political opponents until they had to become allies until they horrifically became best friends and then accepted being awesome co-dads and everyone needs to calm down about it. especially them themselves.

Until You Make It by AndreaDTX

Erik Lehnsherr, the junior senator from New York, is a once-in-a-generation political wunderkind. There are even murmurs of a potential bid for President. But at 34, as a young, unmated Alpha, even his most fervent supporters are wary. Finding a bondmate would give him a far greater air of credibility. But dating as a well-known politician is public relations nightmare waiting to happen with no guarantee of finding the right person. Raven, Erik’s campaign manager, has a solution: her brother, Charles Xavier.

Charles has finally found his niche, researching genetic mutations in relative anonymity. Then he gets a call from his sister asking an impossibly huge favor. He's the ideal politician’s mate, but having fled that life years ago, he has little interest in politics or returning to the pretentious, exclusionary upper echelon he loathed during his childhood.

When the two finally meet, sparks immediately fly, making it the perfect pairing of convenience. But it’s more than a question of chemistry. They have to survive the media, the tabloids, and the political opponents who’d love nothing more than to take them down.

Practically Magic by lachatblanche (WIP)

The Xaviers, it was clear, were witches, and witches, the stern mothers of Graymalkin Lane told their wide-eyed children, were most definitely to be avoided.

Charles and Raven Xavier grow up knowing they are different from the people around them. For a long time they just have each other and that's enough. But being different can be a lonely thing - and sometimes, it also brings trouble.

An AU loosely based on Practical Magic.

sweetness by Anonymous

For days, Erik and Charles have been dancing around the fact that they both find Charles's breastfeeding extremely arousing. Tonight all that sexual tension finally comes to a head.

Difference Between Ordeal and Adventure by UisceOneLove

After getting screwed over --again-- by Creed, Logan needs a getaway.

He didn't anticipate having a passenger in his escape. Not an attractive one, for damn sure.

The Wurst Case Scenario by sareyen

If anyone asked why Charles, come rain, wind or shine, made the significant trek during his dismal lunch hour to dine at "Edie's Kosher Delicatessen", he would stubbornly say that it was because their pastrami on rye and potato knishes were absolutely to die for. He wasn't completely lying, because the deli's namesake, Edie Lehnsherr, made the best matzah ball soup Charles has ever had in his life. Still, Charles would rather shave his full head of hair off than admit that the real reason he would willingly walk through hail and fire to get to the corner deli was because of Erik, the insanely attractive man working the counter.

Sure, Erik has barely spoken two words to Charles other than "Hello, what can I get you?" or, after the third day in a row that Charles came to the deli, "Welcome back, what can I get you?", but Charles was more than happy to just ogle at the man from afar while devouring the juicy wurst Erik had put together with his (large and very capable) hands.

But, little does Charles know, Erik doesn't usually work the front counter. He only does it when he knows the cute blue-eyed man will be dining in.

the things you love don't last by faerie_ground

Charles Xavier's marriage crumbles around him. He can do nothing but watch.

The First Move by TurtleTotem Charles and Erik live together now, in Genosha. They get up together, spend the day together. And then... go to sleep in their separate beds.

Charles is going quietly crazy.

I thought you already knew by winter_hiems

“Wanda… did our dad… boink Professor X?” Wanda took a sip from her mug of coffee. “Pietro, our dad is still fucking Professor X. I thought you already knew. Literally everyone knows.” - Pietro finds out about his father and Charles Xavier. Apparently everyone else already knew.

when he walks in (i am loved, i am loved) by humanveil

In which Erik is shoehorned into attending the annual business party, and accidentally mistakes his boss’ Very Attractive date as an escort. It’s not as if Tony doesn’t have a history.

serendipity by intentation

Charles runs into his professor at a sex club. How can he possibly resist?

Of Crabs and Castles by flightinflame

Charles and Erik take their children to the beach. Wanda builds a sandcastle, Nina makes some friends, and Pietro gets some exercise. Some family fun in the sunshine.

Krakoa is for two very specific mutants by Sotano (series)

Behind the panels of House of X/Dawn of X. Everything historical mentioned is more or less canon, synthesized. A new nation is being born. Two of its founders are enjoying the chance to be on the same side. They're learning what mutant society was meant to be, and it seems like the answer is very gay.

Yule Ball, Sick Day, and Other Stories by kianspo

This is a collection of Cherik ficlets I have posted here and there on Tumblr over the years. Different universes, different takes on relationship, etc.

[pigeon-scratches]

Sweet Cap'n Cakes headcanons because I said so

Sweet

• Sweet can eat. How? Speaker mouth. (Stole this idea from my friend)

• Both of their speakers also function as eyes! (Stolen once again from my friend)

• They love playing in the rain!!! They've short circuited a few times before, though, so now they're required to put on boots and a coat before they go outside

• Sweet can breakdance like the other two, but they prefer swing overall!

• A lot of people don't expect it, but Sweet actually really enjoys classical music. They even know how to conduct :)

• Please don't let them cook, they'll burn the house down. The best they can do is heat up a hot pocket in the microwave-

• Has the best sleep schedule out of the bots (not to say it's perfect, but they're trying their best).

• Their body is naturally really warm so not only do they overheat a bit more often than normal, they are also the perfect cuddle buddy. They're a walking heater.

• Need their speakers fixed or replaced at least once every two months. Their voice comes through both speakers and they have trouble controlling their volume, so they tend to blow them out on accident a lot.

• This poor bot is so clumsy :( they're a close second to Cap'n with the amount of repairs they need, but usually it's just for small dents and scratches.

• Borderline anal when it comes to organization. Their work station is spotless and everything is labelled and has its place.

• Has ADHD and stims a lot. They flap their hands, tap their feet, whistle a tune, etc. (I'll go more into headcanons like this in a separate post maybe?)

Cap'n

• Cap'n is the best singer out of the group (K_K and Sweet are still pretty damn good though)

• Cap'n can't cook, but he can bake! Doesn't care about getting messy, though.

• On the topic of messy, his work station is a fucking mess

• This bot is an absolute slob and refuses to clean up his work station. He doesn't see a point to it (it drives Sweet insane)

• Cap'n is 100% an English and Math gay

• Like seriously he's way smarter than people give him credit for? This dude can solve super complex math equations in the blink of an eye and doesn't get it when someone else doesn't understand

• He secretly writes poems, but nobody knows and he plans on taking this secret to his grave (Sweet and K_K eventually find out obviously).

• Cap'n needs the most frequent large repairs overall since he forgets to do weekly check ups. He also doesn't want to worry Sweet and K_K whenever he gets hurt :(

• Cap'n can knit! He's really insecure about it though since it's an "old person" activity in his eyes, so only K_K and Sweet know about the hobby.

• Actually has pretty bad social anxiety, but he covers it up to the best of his abilities. Whenever he's nervous he bounces his leg and does something with his hands (wringing them, drumming fingers, biting tips, etc).

K_K

• K_K is an amazing cook and prefers to keep the kitchen clean, but they do get a little messy if they're getting really into it

• And yes, it's the exact opposite with their work table. It's an absolute mess and they refuse to clean it up despite Cap'n's constant protesting

• K_K likes playing in the rain as well! Cap'n is an absolute mother hen when it comes to them and Sweet putting on their rain coats

• All three can dance super well but K_K is probably better than most professionals. They breakdance!

• Related to the previous headcanon, they also use this to their advantage in a fight. Breakdance fighting? Yes please.

• K_K is SUPER physically strong. Don't let those noodle arms fool you, they could lift up a car if they wanted to.

• K_K uses their strength wisely u_u (as in they carry Sweet and Cap'n around on their shoulders)

• K_K has a green thumb and enjoys growing plants (specifically the edible ones like mint)

• K_K is the one who takes care of themself the best and does frequent checkups on their body (tighten screws, replace parts, etc). They also remind Sweet and Cap'n to do it as well since they forget to a lot!

• Even though K_K takes care of their body pretty well, one thing that they have a problem with is uh... having a regular sleep schedule. They will sleep in until 7PM, work until 5PM the next day, then fall asleep for another 20 hours. They literally just forget to sleep sometimes

• K_K has autism. Like Sweet, they have some stims too. (I could go on for a long time about this all, so I'll save it for a separate post)

• Even though they have their head in the clouds a lot, they're a really good listener when needed. If you ever need to talk or just need a shoulder to cry on, K_K is the best bot for the job.

SCC

• Really good at harmonizing with each other and only each other

• They have their own rooms, but they usually just sleep in a pile in K_K's room (they have the biggest bed)

• All three can draw in some way!

•K_K can do amazing pencil sketches of people (semi-realistic) and landscapes (realistic)

•Sweet has a super exaggerated cartoony style and draws primarily characters/people

• Cap'n is just insanely good at drawing like blueprints and plans??? That's all I can say really he's just super good at it

• All three can breakdance but Sweet prefers swing

• K_K and Sweet prefer cats while Cap'n prefers dogs

• Expanding on the previous headcanon, they would totally have a cat (Tasque?) when they move to Castle Town

• Do they get a bingus and knit him little sweaters? Yes. (I will do bingus headcanons in another post)

• While all three enjoy electronic music, they still have their personal favorites. Therefore they WILL fight for the aux chord

• Sweet likes electro swing, indie rock, lofi and classical

• K_K likes lofi hip-hop and rock/metal

• Cap'n likes rock and hip-hop/pop (and country, but nobody knows this. He thinks.)

Update: Made some slight edits!

[biggest-stupidhead]

Hello! First of all I have to say that your writing is the best I have read so far and you have a way with words that has me going crazy at 3 am 🤣🤣 I wanted to suggest a short story where Levi and the reader have feelings for each other and are on a mission together. Then it starts to rain and it gets really cold at night so they’re forced to seek shelter and have to spend the night together in an abandoned old house until the rain stops, and they basically get to know each other better and eventually start flirting ya know ya know? 😗Thank you so much and please feel free to add any more ideas you may have 😁

ahhh the classic, stuck with a stranger trope. I dig it :) 

Summary: You spend a rainy night with your bitter captain

Word Count: 1.8K

__

The rain felt like needles as you rode into the wind, your cloak felt heavy and waterlogged as you struggled to see through the shower. You had lost your squad, leaving you alone in the middle of titan country. Your gear felt light, meaning that your blades were nearly gone and gas as well. In other words, you were royally fucked. 

Your horse was huffing, sides rising and falling deeply as she tried to hold the pace you had set. Her head bobbed and you threaded your fingers through her mane and stood on the saddle to ease the weight on her back, and allow her to resume her natural gait. 

Just as you emerged from the thin thicket of trees you had been riding in, you spotted a small cabin, and a black horse tied up out front. You recognized Captain Levi’s stallion and felt relief flood through you. You steered your mare towards the squat building and swung off once she came to a halt. Tying her up next to Levi’s stallion before jogging up the stairs. You lifted your hand and pounded on the door, a flash of lightning illuminated your form when Levi pulled the door open. His hair was dripping wet as was his clothes. 

“Cadet (L/n), surprised you made it this far.” He scoffed before turning and stalking back into the cabin. 

“Captain....the formation is broken.” You stated the obvious, unsure of how to respond to his jab. 

“No shit, this damn rain fucks with the signals. Seen it before.” You almost weren’t sure if he even said the last part since he muttered it so quietly. 

“So what do we do?” You asked, clutching your cloak anxiously. 

“We wait it out idiot.” Levi grunted as he began rummaging around the small cabin’s kitchen drawers. 

“What...about the formation?” 

“The formation doesn’t exist anymore, what matters now is getting back to the wall.” 

You remained silent, stunned by the gravity of the situation you’d found yourself in. 

“Shitty eyebrows needs to stop putting the fucking formation on a pedestal, you brats need to learn how to act at your own discretion.” Levi continued as he pawed through a drawer, he pulled his hand out holding two stones. Flint, to be precise, he had already taken some of the firewood that had been sitting in the cabin and chucked it into the fireplace. You wondered how long it had sat there in the lonely cabin, who had gathered it? A child maybe? When you were younger, you had lived on a farm with your family, raising horses for the military. One of your many jobs had been to get firewood. You wondered what had happened to the people who lived here before, wondered if they could ever return. 

“Oi, take off those boots. Just because nobody’s lived here in three years doesn’t mean you get to track mud inside.” He scolded and you quickly stripped yourself of your mud caked boots. 

“Yes sir.” You grumbled as you numbly wandered into the kitchen, pausing when you found a small corn husk doll, very similar to the ones you once made. You picked it up, cradling its head as you held it up in the dim light. The sound of stones clicking and then the crackle of a small fire brought you back. You turned to see Levi hanging his cloak and jacket by the flames. 

“Take off your cloak and jacket.” He ordered and you placed the doll down to fulfill his command. You shivered in just your shirt, which was soaked, the olive colored fabric nearly see through due to the wetness. Levi averted his eyes as he snatched your jacket and cloak from you. You dropped down to sit on the floor near the fire, staring into the flames as you allowed your mind to wander. Levi sat down as well, crossing his legs and closing his eyes as he tried to even out his breathing. The only sound was the crackling fire and the patter of rain on the old roof. You had nearly forgotten how it sounded, having lived in the castle for years now, the cozy cabin brought you back to your childhood. And before you could think better of it, you asked: 

“Where are you from captain?” 

“None of your concern.” He grunted, eyes still closed and face lacking any signs of emotion. 

“Well, where I’m from, when it rained like this...we’d go outside and-” 

“I didn’t fucking ask. Now shut up and go to sleep or something.” 

“There’s no need to be so bitter Captain.” You mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest and angling your shoulders away from him, the sting of his words. You sighed heavily and fell flat on your back, staring up at the rafters, a drop of water seeped through and landed right on your nose and you let out a huff of disgust. 

“....Look” Levi’s voice was heavy and less annoyed than previously. 

“If talking...makes you feel better about all of this....then I guess I don’t mind listening.” He looked at you out of the corner of his eye, bangs obscuring the top half of his face as he studied you, splayed out on the floor. 

“....Thanks.” 

“As I was saying, when I was younger, I used to be scared of thunder storms. But my grandma, she would make this cake. She called it thunder cake.” You closed your eyes and a dreamy smile curled onto your lips. Levi felt a pang of jealousy, being nearly 28, one would think that he could get over his childhood. But he just couldn’t seem to, he wished he grew up in the sunshine, known his family, gotten to be scared of thunder instead of men in the underground. 

“-it wasn’t really anything special, just a lemon cake. But making it during the storm...she said it was magic, and you know.....I believed her.” Your voice cracked and Levi frowned, he remembered that naivety, how his mother would tell him about fairies or goblins. He had believed those stories for a time as well. But when she had died, he no longer saw beauty in the world. How could he? 

“She was so smart Captain. She knew everything, how to treat a tooth ache, how to make the best bread, break a horse. I wish I could be half as wise as her.” You continued, Levi turned to look at you, your usually bright eyes seemed distant and foggy, mouth screwed into a frown, your bottom lip trembling. 

“When she died, I felt so alone. I couldn’t compare, how could I? She was so strong and, I was just a shitty kid.” You scoffed bitterly, Levi understood your pain deeply, loosing people was something he was all too familiar with. He blindly reached out and let his hand awkwardly fall over your own. You froze, head turning to look at him. 

“How about you? What did your...parent do to help you through the scary parts?” You asked, eyes wide and hopeful. Levi’s jaw locked as he tried to wrack his brain for something to say, you had just been so vulnerable with him. How could he not repay the favor? Especially if the two of you would die in this shitty cabin. 

“She would....give me a bath, or we’d clean the house.” He said with a curt nod, remembering his mother pouring soapy water over him after he had scrapped his knee, or cried so hard that his eyes were nearly swollen shut. Yes, that was the truth, they would take a bath and then she’d tell him those shitty stories. 

“That sounds nice.” You said wistfully as you turned your hand to lace your fingers with his. You sensed his tension and decided to carry on telling your own story. 

“I hated cleaning, my grandma used it as punishment for me. Like when I was 10 I threw eggs at the neighbor boy after he lifted my skirt up.” You chuckled lowly at the memory. 

“Sounds like he deserved it.” Levi said with the smallest of smiles. You beamed up at him and nodded. 

“Yeah, he sure did. My grandma made me clean the coop for two weeks after that, and the stables.” You giggled, squeezing his hand as you laughed. He felt another wave of jealousy, wishing he had memories like yours. 

“And you? Did you ever get in trouble?” You asked, rolling onto your side, pulling your hand free from his, he immediately missed the contact, not that he would admit it though. 

“That’s all I did when I was younger.” Levi scoffed, looking down at you with a gleam of amusement in his gaze. 

“What kind of trouble?” You pressed, resting your chin on your palm as you stared up at him. 

“I bet it was with girls, you seem to be popular with the cadets.” You teased and Levi’s nose wrinkled in disgust. 

“No, more like I was stealing and selling government property illegally.” He scoffed, reaching his hand down to ruffle your damp hair, you let out a bark of laughter as he grabbed the roots of your hair and shook your head playfully. 

“Yeah right, you’re the strictest of all the squad leaders, as if I would believe-” 

“I grew up in the underground, didn’t matter down there, just did what I had to do to put food on the table.” He shrugged, trying to keep the atmosphere light, yet stay honest with you. 

“No way....that’s impressive captain-”

“Levi, call me Levi.” He said, withdrawing his hand and leaning back against the couch that was behind the two of you. 

“Okay then...Levi, I call bullshit.” You said, propping yourself up on your elbow and beaming up at him. Levi glared down at you, not sure if he liked the defiance or loathed it. Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed, but your eyes never strayed from his and he let out a scoff. 

“It’s true, I was born a bastard and escaped through the military.” You raised your brows at this, you hadn’t expected him to be honest. 

“I...admire you for that, takes a strong person to overcome things like that.” You said a tad sheepishly as you averted your gaze, feeling like you had overstepped some boundaries. 

“We all face our own challenges..” Levi muttered, eyes still locked on you. 

“That is true.” You agreed, with a small smile thrown his way. The rain still pounded against the windows and your gaze strayed to them, watching the water stream off of the roof. 

“This will all be a bad memory in the morning.” Levi said, following your gaze, he recalled how you said you’d been afraid of thunder when you were younger. He wondered if you still harbored that fear. 

“I don’t think it will, I hope I can look back on it fondly.” You said, turning and smiling softly up at him, and Levi’s stomach began doing flips, his cheeks flushing at the sentiment behind your words. 

“Yeah....whatever, just go to sleep brat.” He grunted, reaching down and ruffling your hair once more, you giggled and laid down, soothed to sleep by the feeling of his hand in your hair and the sound of rain on window panes. 

[alch3mic]

Cheshire please.

“Are you sure you’re alright dear?”

Your eyes gazed up from the floor to glance at your elderly neighbor who seemed to stare you in concern.

Well, you certainly couldn’t blame her for asking considering you were still probably flushed with the fever that caught you by surprise this morning- all of which was neatly wrapped underneath your face mask, glasses and hood that had been pulled up over your head and tied tight.

Your ensemble of slippers, sweatpants and that dingy old hoodie also didn’t help to dissuade the fact you looked absolutely terrible, especially under the harsh hallway lights of your nice apartment building. You smiled regardless though, forgetting she might not see it.

"Yes, I'm alright," you said brightly, though your voice clearly strained as you bent down to take the garbage bag near her door. "I'll get these to the trash shoot and then climb right back into bed, so please don't worry about me Mrs. Chaput."

She at the very least smiled at you too, concern still aching in her brow, but she seemed to let it go. You had been taking the trash out for her and the rest of your elderly neighbors for the past two years now anyway, rain or shine, and you certainly weren't about to let some fever stop you from helping them today.

It was just in your nature to persevere.

"I'm grateful as always," she said softly, "but are you absolutely certain you don't need any help? No offense dear but you look scarier than usual! I believe that new tenant is all moved in, the one next to you? I finally saw him the other day! He's a young looking fellow, much like yourself. Perhaps he could give you a hand with all of those?"

"It's fine. Wouldn't want to both him since he's just moved in," you said with a shrug, trying to ignore that 'scarier' comment. You already knew you weren't exactly a bundle of smiles and joy.

Besides you hadn't even had the chance to meet your new next door neighbor, the last thing you wanted to do was show up to their door and ask them to help you take a bunch of garbage...

That just had awkward encounter written all over it.

Personally, you'd much rather die of a cold than over social embarrassment, so you'd suffer through the walk to the trash shoot.

"Aright, I won't argue," your neighbor sighed, "that'll just keep you out of bed longer. Go on now, shoo.... and thank you."

"Anytime Mrs. Chaput," you said, giving her a small nod as she smiled at you again and closed the door.

Seems like your sickness got you out of another cheek pull from her at least. She always liked teasing you like that, but really you didn't mind. It was nice to have what felt like family when you were so far from home..

A sigh slipped out as you tried to chase away those thoughts, turning to waddle your way through the rest of the hall.

There was just one last trash stop back near your own apartment where Mr. Salt lived. Despite his name he was a kind man if... not a little forgetful. He often forgot to put his trash out for you to take, so you usually stopped there first to knock on his door and remind him and then made it your last stop on the way out.

...He always seemed to jump in your presence too... probably because you were so much taller than him and had a resting bitch face only your mother could love, but before long he’d always melt back into that friendly personality of his.

After rounding the corner and glancing down the hall you could see he finally set a few bags outside. Thank goodness, you really weren’t in the mood to remind him again with how awful you felt. Slowly you trudged over, letting out a small groan as your muscles ache with fatigue, but you kept pressing forward.

Another step. And then another.

Almost there.. just.. keep going!

Then you can head back home and flop yourself into bed without a care in the world!

..Maybe after you took some cold medicine..

Finally you managed to make it down that endless hallway, giving your arms a small break by setting everything down and leaning against the wall.

Man, screw being sick This shit sucked! You could hardly believe you just stumbled around most days perfectly fine without properly appreciating it!

..Right now you’d give anything to feel better again...

If your mom were here she'd probably be scolding you while making something like.. a warm batch of potato soup..

...Maybe you'd call her.. when you're feeling better...

.......

......Ah.... You were.... dozing off a bit.

...That’s... not good.

C’mon wake up, you’re almost done.

You let out another groan as you barely managed to push yourself up off the wall, bending down to pick up all the bags including Mr. Salt’s and—

Holy shit it was heavy!

Your whole face scrunched, your arms barely lifting up the bag while letting out a painful, straining grunt. What the hell was in there!? It was double.. no.. maybe triple bagged? How were you supposed to carry this by yourself?

“Fucking hell..” you hissed, trying to take a deep breath and just coughing instead. “I swear of all fucking days to pull this kind of shit.”

Ugh, you felt too awful to knock on Mr. Salt’s door to complain.... not that you’d do that even if you were feeling well, but.. You’d like to think you’d give him a piece of your mind in your fantasies.

“Maybe then next time he won’t decide to dump an entire goddamn body out...”

Somehow not even your darker jokes could make you feel any better, especially with how much you were sweating with the added labor. You turned with all the bags in hand to head back down the hall and-

...Hm?

Someone was standing there.

.......

You couldn’t really tell who it was through the haze of your fever, but you squinted at them regardless, thinking if you stared at them harder you might be able to identify them.

That’s when you realized three things.

Number one, they were a monster.

.....Or at least you thought they were? It was a little hard to tell with their hood up.

Number two, you had never seen them before in your life.

And number three..

They looked....

...terrified.

......

Wha..?

“H-Hey...” you said between labored breaths in some kind of greeting.

The monster jumped, now looking a bit panicked as they retreated farther back.

"...Wh-what are you..?”

“don’t..!”

Their voice was so quiet that you barely managed to catch on to what they were saying, confusion now mixing in with the fever and irritation inside your head.

“What?”

Well that came out a lot harsher than intended. Nice job.

It's no wonder the skeleton squeaked, nervously pressing themselves to the apartment door next to yours.

‘I believe that new tenant is all moved in, the one next to you?’

.....Oh.

Oh no.

“You... I know you...”

Again, delivered much more abrasive than you would have desired, especially with the way it made them flinch again, now fumbling with something.

...This was bad.

Clearly you were scaring them, and the logical part of your brain told them to just leave them alone because there’s no way you could salvage this encounter with how much of a feverish mess your head is.. but the other, much more controlling part of your brain, just told you to keep pushing forward and clear up this little misunderstanding.

“Wait.”

The monster froze at your tone, staring at you with widened eye.... sockets?

“You..”

C’mon dummy, use your words!

“You’ve got the wrong idea.. this.. isn’t what it looks like.”

......

Well it’s no wonder the skeleton doubled down on their efforts to get the key into their lock before slipping through their apartment door with how stupidly awful that statement was. The click of the door closing was immediately followed by the sound of several locks being put into place, cementing the fact that you somehow really fucked this up.

...Wonderful.

Just stellar.

Your very first interaction with your new neighbor and you don't have the slightest doubt in your mind they think you're some kind of criminal body collector.

....So much for not dying of social embarrassment.

check out my other writings | feel free to drop me a ko-fi!

[yayteaberry]

*SFW* Babysitting (Bakugou)

Rarely did he ever take a Saturday off from either training or studying, he was determined to stay better than everyone else. But, it had been raining since yesterday and he felt like he deserved a break anyways. From morning to afternoon, he enjoyed doing absolutely nothing, scrolling his social media and avoiding liking any of his friends posts on principle.

Shitty hair still won’t shut up about the selfie he liked so now nobody gets any.

His planned day of nothing is interrupted by a knock at his door, and he’s been pacified by memes to a degree where he doesn’t react violently to the intrusion.

Instead he shoves his phone into his pocket as gets up and opens the door, plain faced until he sees it’s you and that you’re holding something. Well, someone.

“Hey!”, you greet with an unusual level of enthusiasm, “I need you to do a favor for me.”

“A favor?”, he asks while he takes in the fact that you’re holding a baby, dressed in a striped onesie.

“Yeah, I’m kinda busy with stuff and I need someone to keep an eye on this little cutie for a bit!” To emphasize the importance or maybe sway him, you turn the baby around so he can see the chubby face.

“... If you’re asking me to babysit it, then no.”

You click your tongue against your teeth, rolling your eyes. “Well don’t call her by ‘it’, and I really need you to do this for me!”

He puts a hand on the door to signal that he’s about to close it, “Nah. Ask shitty hair or Deku, I think they’d love to drool over your kid.” “It’s my aunts baby!”, you say as you put your foot over the threshold, jostling the baby somewhat, which excitedly babbles as it meets his eyes, “They’re busy too, I tried asking! Believe me, you weren’t my first choice.”

“What do you mean by that?” He speaks with annoyance, opening the door fully as his competitive nature rises.

Internally you give a sigh of relief, externally you place the baby on your hip. “Bakugou, I think we both know that you’re awful with children. But you’re my last option and I have nowhere else to turn.”

“I should’ve been your first choice! I’m a fuckin’ wiz at keeping brats well behaved! Gimme!”

“Ah!”, you step out of range of his attempted grab and put out your pointer finger, “Don’t yell at the baby, don’t be aggressive with the baby, and most of all, don’t yell at the baby.”

In spite of your words you know full well he’ll do nothing of the sort, just wanting to give the appearance so he’ll be on his best behavior. He doesn’t have to know he was actually the only one you wanted to watch her.

After all his surface level bullying you can tell he’s soft on the inside, knowing he’s the least likely to give into a baby's whims while also being gentle enough to avoid making her cry.

“Yeah yeah.”, he grumbles, taking her from you when you extend her towards him, “When are you gonna collect the brat?”

You give a 50/50 gesture, shrugging, “Ah an half hour to two hours, but I’ll be back before three hours for sure! She’s been fed and changed recently but just in case,” A bag is revealed when you pull it from behind your back, taking it off by the strap and setting it inside.

“Diapers and toys, if she’s hungry there’s something for her in there too. Just, be careful about that, she’s sorta young for it.”

He nods at your words, watching her grapple at his shirt, having not once taken his eyes off her.

“Thank you!”, you chirp and give him a kiss on the cheek, knowing that he can’t do anything about it while holding her. That makes him glance up at you with some minor malice, which is reduced severely by the dusting of pink across his nose.

With that you take your leave, confident he’ll do fine.

He shuts the door and sits at the edge of his bed, cradling her in his arms. After a moment he takes a look over to the bag you left, thinking it’d probably be best to fish something out of there for her to do.

While he wasn’t experienced in caring for a baby in any capacity that felt like common sense. Plus, it’d allow him to continue wasting time on his phone.

“You,” he gently places her on the middle of the bed as he stands, “are not taking my Saturday from me with your tiny incapable hands.”

With one hand he grabs the bag off the floor and sets it on the bed beside her, opening it and digging through its contents. You were right, the thing is loaded with diapers and many different plastic objects.

Keys, babies love keys.

That toy seems the best choice, taking that and a blanket out before putting the bag on the floor nearby, holding the baby like a barrel under his arm while he flattens the blanket, then placing her on her belly.

He dangles the keys in front of her, watching as her eyes widen as she takes a horribly aimed swipe towards them. With a laugh tinged snort he lets her have them, sitting with his back against the bed and taking his phone out, resuming his leisure hobby.

A minute passes before he peeks over at her to make sure she’s still there, idly chewing on an orange key. It reminds him of something a puppy would do, up until she shoves it in way too far.

He drops his phone and yanks the keys away with concern she’ll vomit, not expecting her to look so upset over it. Briefly she contentedly waits for them to be returned, but when it becomes apparent they aren’t, she scowls.

“No,” he preemptively says, putting the keys down at his other side to keep them away, “you did something fucking stupid, so now they’re off limits. Don’t get all upset over it.”

She huffs and slams a hand down a few times, making a ‘gah’ with very demanding intent.

“I said no. Let me find something else then, calm down.”, he says as he reaches over to grab something random out of the bag, finding a plush red dinosaur. “See? Fun. Chew on this.”

He sets it down in front of her, and she immediately pushes it over, repeating herself. If nothing he gives her credit for having a strange amount of object permanence.

“I. Said. No. The fuck do you want me to do? You’re the one who can’t handle having the damn thing!” With a curt ‘no’ as a final statement, he leans over her to shove the keys back into the bag.

This turns out to be a huge mistake.

In a universally understood way, her face screws up as she starts taking in heavy breaths, which makes his eyebrows raise.

“Don’t. No crying.” his tone is as assertive as he can get it, shaking his head as if to cement it. Her tiny face turns red, sniffling once before fat tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

With no idea what to do in this situation, he starts rummaging through the bag for a solution, diapers spilling out as he digs for a similar toy if there even is one. He cringes as she really starts crying, caving and getting the keys back out, giving them to her. “See? See??”

She either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, bawling in the way only babies do, arms giving out as she lays down.

His instincts on consoling anyone are terrible and usually not to be followed but he acts without thinking, picking her up and setting her in his lap, bouncing his leg as he pets her back, softly shushing her, ignoring the part of him that does in fact wish to yell at the baby.

Her tiny body trembles, pawing at his shirt as she rubs her tear stained face into it. Continuing to follow his instincts he lifts her up, both arms cradling her as her head rests against his shoulder. She does eventually calm, relaxing as quiet hiccuping replaces her sobs, breathing regulating.

She's effectively soothed, he on the other hand is completely shaken up.

Jesus, why did that scare him so much? He’d heard babies cry before and always was irritated by it, but this time there was something so different about it. Even now his heart is still racing, mouth dry as he stares forward into the wall with a mixture of worry and gratefulness.

Once she’s relaxed, he picks up the previously discarded dinosaur, placing it in his lap next to her. Thankfully, she seems to have forgotten about the keys, happy to latch onto the plushy.

He takes his phone back out with the intent to resume his earlier scrolling, but he can’t entirely take his eyes off her.  He’s more interested in watching her reactions than he’d ever admit.

In some ways she reminds him of you, mainly the eye color and the way her cheeks pinch up when she smiles.

You seem the motherly type to him so he assumes you’re leagues better at this than he is, but you’ve never mentioned having to babysit her before.

In fact you’ve never mentioned her before at all.

Maybe you enjoyed doing it but kept quiet so you didn’t have anyone intruding or asking to see her, babies can feel stranger danger so that made sense, it’d probably be overwhelming. She doesn’t hate him though, maybe you knew that she wouldn’t? 

Despite the panic she’s sent him through he really wouldn’t mind watching after her again. It'll probably be easier with you here, though he isn’t sure what he’d do if you were, he’d just be sitting around while you did everything.

God, she is really goddamned adorable. He smirks as he takes a second to allow himself to outwardly express something positive, watching her slap her tiny hand against the toy.

Usually the idea of having a baby is the worst one anyone can have, but right now he isn’t all that opposed to it. Not that it looks simple, more that it looks to be worth it.

He knows he’d make super cute babies, based on what he looks like and has always looked like the kid would outshine any other snot maker.

While he didn’t know what you looked like as a baby he just assumed you did too, briefly considering what a baby would look like if it came from you and him.

He’s got his mother's blonde hair despite his father's brunette coloring so that’s a dominant trait, possibly overriding your own but who can know, it’d more likely have more of your features.

Out of anything he’d want a little girl just like this one, though he’d be happy with anything as long as it's yours. Your features have always been something he likes, face as well as body, you’re built well in every aspect he tends to care about.

That, and your winning personality, even he can see that it’s a very pleasant contrast to his own. A kid with a mixture of both would be undoubtedly unstoppable, making him proud left and right.

Suddenly the thought bubble pops as reality rises to the surface.

You’re not his and he doesn’t like you anyways, this doesn’t bear so much thinking since it’ll never happen.

A heat takes to his cheeks as he tries to move on and pretend he wasn’t having a domestic fantasy involving you, mostly pretending he hadn’t had any fantasies about you.

It was something that’d creep into his mind sometimes.

Kirishima and Deku tended to have some softer traits alongside their bolder ones but it just wasn’t the same coming from either of them.

You had a certain tenacity to you, it was totally within your options to let some rich older man take care of you but you wanted more for yourself, you wanted to be a hero.

It made you strong, and you were strong because you worked for it constantly. As thick as your innocence tended to be, he was fairly confident you could knock him unconscious if it strikes you as the right choice.

He shook his head and made an effort to clear out all his emotions, directing his attention back towards the baby to ground himself. 

At some point during his daydreaming she’d knocked out cold, the dinosaur laying on the floor beside him, propped up against his chest, quietly snoozing while drooling a slight amount. Even if he wanted too he couldn’t be grossed out, it was way too cute of a sight for him to get mad.

Looking at her makes him feel tired, so he decides that taking a nap wouldn’t be a terrible idea. Careful to avoid waking her, he shifts around to get comfortable, hooking an arm around her so she doesn’t teeter backwards while he’s moving.

He thinks about whether he should turn her over and lay her on the blanket, unsure of what the proper protocol is.

His neck is gonna get super fucked up if he stays sat like this, so he very slowly gets up and lays on his bed, keeping her held to his chest until he’s flat enough to let gravity do the work. For a moment he returns to thinking about laying her on a flat surface but he lets her stay as she is, being a light sleeper means he’ll be able to deal with any problems if there are any.

-

After thanking Aizawa for the extra sparring lesson, you quickly get yourself showered and changed.

It’s been about two hours since you left her with Bakugou and you were getting increasingly worried he was reaching his limit.

Honestly you didn’t expect to be gone this long, but you were glad you gave him the estimate because it meant he’d have less reasons to be upset with you.

You prepare yourself for him to yell at you for leaving him alone with a demon for so long, even if she’s rarely a problem you do suspect he’ll be dramatic.

Still, it was a godsend that he said yes to begin with, you were going to make sure to tell him that.

When you get to his room you don’t bother with knocking, opening it to let yourself in without hesitation.

You were going to say something, but you forget the instant you lay eyes on the scene in front of you.

Practically swooning, you place a hand over your mouth to prevent making any noise, getting your phone out to document perhaps the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

He’s laying on his bed, one arm over her and one over his eyes to block out the light, her tiny hands secured around the collar of his shirt, both of them peacefully asleep.

Not intending it to be blackmail but being aware it would probably become that, you take pictures from several different angles, wanting nothing more than to show everyone.

Though, for his own sake, you don’t actually send them anywhere near the class.

This doesn’t mean you don’t send them all to his mother, you do.

It does pain you to know you’ll have to hold off on showing people lest the information come back to him, but you do make it your phones home screen anyways. 

[yandere-ac]

Can I request parental Yandere! Tom with a young Y / N? Y/N has been on the island for a long time, and Tom is like their father figure. I'd like to see a scenario where Y / N meets Redd and due to their innocent and naive nature, wants to befriend him, meeting at night time just because Redd says it's better this way, probably not to alert Tom that he is there.I love how you write! Sorry for my bad English.

Yandere Parental Tom Nook X Child Reader

Little one

Tom had always considered himself good with children. It might have been because of all the late nights he spent up with Sable, taking care of Mable back when she was still very small. Even as a child, Tom swore to protect and help the ones who could not defend them self’s. It was a trait that, even though as he grew up became less and less prominent, was still a core instinct that he had. Sure, he’s the first to admit that he wasn’t exactly the most charming guy back in the day. Many seeing him as intimidating and mean. And yeah, Tom could see how people could have gotten that impression. Back then, he’d been so angry and lost. He was angry at the world. Angry at himself. Angry at...him...those where the days when he was hellbent on not letting anyone ever take advantage of him ever again. He’d locked up his heart and pushed everyone he loved away. But then...something quite peculiar happened.

It had been late at night. Tom was walking alone on the sidewalk, only the dim light of the tall streetlights illuminating his path. With hands in his pockets he picked up his pace. He wanted to get out of the city as quickly as possible. He had been spending some time with family and was currently going home. But to get to his flight he had to walk through the big city. Tom didn’t like the city, it brought back bad memories. He was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard the sounds of a loud crash coming from one of the alleyways nearby. What was that? Was someone hurt? Tom knew he shouldn’t...it would be dangerous and stupid. But he had to check to make sure nothing sketchy was going on. Looking back at it now. Tom was so happy, overjoyed that he decided to investigate. Approaching the alleyway he could see the silhouettes of two small creatures. And as he got closer he realised what the silhouettes were. They were two children, tanukis, looking no older than five cowering together, clutching onto each other like there was no tomorrow. They looked up at him, shaking from either the cold weather or because they were scared. Probably a mixture of the two. Tom made sure to stay completely still as he tried not to scare the two boys.

"Hello? Are you okay? Why on earth are you two out here alone?" He asked as he slowly crouched down so that he would be on the same level as the kids, still keeping his distance. Tom however did not get a response. Letting out a small sigh he tried to continue. "Can I at least get your names?" He said, making sure to keep his voice gentle. "We’re not supposed to talk to strangers mister..." one of the two said, clinging onto the other tighter. "Okay then. Hello there. My name is Tom Nook. Who are you?" Tom tried again. At this point the other one has stopped shaking and looked at Tom with more curiosity than fear. "We don’t have names mister." Tom felt his eyebrows furrow. These poor kids. "Why don’t you two come with me? It’s about to start raining and I don’t want you catching a cold." As he said this he extended his hand to the two. And carefully, the first one reached out his tiny paw to grab it. The other one was much more hesitant about the whole thing but after a quick glance at the first, he soon grabbed Toms hand. Tom led the two away to a hotel nearby where he bought a room.

That was the first significant change that led Tom to the road to redemption and recovery. After calling the police and telling them about the situation they had come to investigate with a social worker. After they had intervened and the social worker talked to the two and did confirm that the two children had no home or guardians. And even though it had only been maybe two days with the boys, Tom had grown very attached to them. And so, he offered to adopt the two. And after settling the whole thing in court, Tom was able to happily bring two small tanukis home. Of course the final decision was left up to the kids. But lucky for Tom, they too had grown attached to him and agreed to the adoption. Tom gave them the names Timothy and Thomas, Timmy and Tommy for short. And rest assured, the boys were gonna have a good life, Tom swore of it. But that, like stated before, was only the beginning.

A year later, was the second significant change that Tom went through. That year, a new villager moved in to his town. A boy with Brown hair and a red shirt. And what a mess he was. After having bought a house from Tom, he didn’t have close to the amount of bells that he needed to pay off the house loan. In fact, he only had 1000 bells in his pockets. Seeing this was almost humorous to Tom. How can you move into a new home WITHOUT bringing more than at least 30 000 bells. And yet. Something about the boy. It almost reminded him of how he used to be back when he first moved to the city. Now, he had enough common sense to bring with him more than just a few bells. But he’d still make PLENTY of screw ups and stupid decisions. And in a way, he’d wished that he had a person to help him during that time. Someone to be kind enough to extend their hand and give him assistance. Maybe if someone had, things would have turned out differently. Who know what could happen to this villager, if he’s stupid enough to not bring enough currency, then he’d sure be stupid enough to be tricked or manipulated. Tom couldn’t knowingly let that happen, especially if he could prevent it.

And so. Tom offered him a job at Nooks cranny. Just to teach him some responsibility and give him a chance to pay off his loans. But even after he paid them off, he still took some time to visit Tom every once and again. He brought a sort of warmth and life to the town. He interacted with all the other villagers and made sure to fix it up a little as well. Although very silent and kind of strange, Tom grew a certain fondness of the boy. But ultimately, it didn’t matter what he though of him. Because one day, he never showed up. Tom just assumed that he had been sick or just tired. But after a week and not a sound from him, people started to get worried. They searched his house but he wasn’t there. And that weeks turned into months, which turned into years. Tom still worried what had happened to him. But he tried not to think about it. The thought unnerved him. He couldn’t have moved out because his house still remained in the village. But, ultimately. It really didn’t matter. He was gone, and Tom had to move on.

That was years ago. During that time, human after human moved into the town. And they were all just as incompetent. Tom had started to wonder if it was a human thing. But Isabelle had been quick to insist that he help them. And he did. He always tried to teach them how to survive and make money. All while giving them a roof over their heads. He couldn’t just let them wander around without a home, they had to live somewhere. He didn’t set any dates as to when their debts had to be paid either. They could pay him off whenever they wanted. He didn’t want to cause them any stress. And just like always, he got attached to the humans, and just like always, they all eventually left him with no explanation. He didn’t understand why or how. But it was simply just how it went. But no matter how many times it happened, he never got used to it. It was always so hard to accept the fact that the human that was usually eagerly running around had left them. Had left HIM. He felt oddly protective over them all, they were like his children, his small, gullible, human children. So when he met you, that was when his instincts really went into overdrive.

He remembered it clear as day. Timmy and Tommy had ran up to him with the three residents behind him. Immediately he noticed something was odd about one of them. One of them was a human, more than that, the human looked much shorter than any other human he’d ever met. And he’s met a lot of humans in his life, a privilege which very few get. At first he thought the human, you, was just short. But as soon as he heard you speak it became clear to him. You weren’t just short, you were much younger than any of the humans he’d ever seen before. You were a child. Tom started to wonder why someone as young as you was all the way out here. Were your parents gonna come on a later plane? No, no that couldn’t be it. There where no other planes booked to the island. Maybe you were a child to one of the other residents? Interspecies adoption has recently been legalised so that could be it. Yes. That’s probably it. But that theory popped once he gave out the tents and you asked for your very own. Wouldn’t you be sleeping with your guardian? For a moment Tom panicked. What if you were just a very small human and he has misunderstood your age. So he asked you. And to his relief and confusion you answered with "ten". Didn’t you have parents? Why were you out here alone, he needed to know if he should contact somebody. So while everyone else went about looking for a place to put their tents, Tom took you aside to ask you a couple of questions.

As it turns out, you had come here completely alone. Without parents or anything. You had handed him a letter from your mother, she was the one that sent you here with the little bells she had left, because she couldn’t take care of you and hoped that an adult on the island could handle you. When Tom read the letter he felt conflicted, he felt bad for you and your mother but he also thought the action of sending away your child to a deserted island was pretty irresponsible. But whatever he thought of the situation didn’t matter, because you were here and he couldn’t exactly kick you off or anything. He was sure that you would manage life here on the island, there was lots of things to do and food was also easy to come by. So, he’d have to make sure you were comfortable here on the island. He had given you your own tent and even payed the loans that came with it.

And you were the tipping point, you were the thing that turned his redemption into something much, much more twisted.

It had started small, with him feeling a kind of protectiveness over you. He figured it was since you were both a human and a kid. This feeling, it was much stronger than any of the instincts he felt about his previous humans, it was about as strong as how he felt for Timmy and Tommy. He just wanted to scoop you up and carry you away from all your troubles. He helped you fix up your tent and when you asked if you could upgrade it, he’d offer to pay for those house depts as well. But you had refused, saying that you wanted to pay for it yourself. It seems your mother had taught you plenty about responsibility and how to take care of yourself, which came a bit as a shock for Tom. Most of not all of his previous humans had been pretty clueless about things like this, so to see a child being more mature than them was almost a bit funny. But he knew deep down that your maturity probably stemmed from having to take care of yourself without any help. And there was nothing funny about that. Surprisingly, you handled your situation very well, you picked up weeds, planted trees, fished and caught bugs which you sold to Timmy and Tommy. All to pay for said loans. And when Tom told you about his plan to get K.K. Slider to perform at the island, you put your incredible work ethic to the max. Everyday, he could see you running around the island, planting flowers and placing furniture. It came out very good considering your age and soon enough the island got a three star rating. It baffled Tom beyond belief that you were able to do all of this. Especially at your young age. He made sure to give you credit for all the good you contributed and even made sure you got the front seat when the concert began.

And that brings us to today. You had been running around the island, collecting sea shells and fruit. Anytime you ran past one of your fellow villagers you made sure to greet them and talk with them for a while. And when you did so, one of them told you about seeing a shady boat by the hidden beach. The hidden beach. You liked going there, it was a nice place where you could just relax, far away from everyone else. So hearing that there was some boat there, it’s sparked your curiosity to say the least. Where did it come from? Who was at the boat? Why were they here? You just had to go see!

So that’s what you did. As you made your way to the beach you were stopped by none other than Tom Nook himself. He was outside of the plaza with Timmy and Tommy when the boys had their break. He gave you a smile as you stopped and turned to him. "Ah if it isn’t Y/N! Why don’t you come and join me, Timmy and Tommy to our picnic. We were just about to head there." He asked, Timmy and Tommy looking at you with hopeful eyes. "Yeah Y/N! Will you? Will you?" You had to stop to think before making your decision. "Sorry but I can’t. I’ve gotta go do something!" You said. "Alright then, but if you change your mind you know where to find us." Tom said as he walked away with the two boys. You ran all the way to the secret beach and sure enough, there was a boat stationed right there on the beach. As you made your way to it, you started to feel a little hesitant about going in. What if this person was dangerous? But you’ve already come this far, so you might as well try. And so, you took a deep breath, and opened the curtains to go inside.

Dark, that was the main word that popped into your mind as you walked down the metal stairs that descended into the boats cabin. As you reached the bottom and looked around the room a strange sort of dread filled your stomach. The room was darkly lit, only a select few lights illuminating what seemed to be paintings and statues that stood on small wooden podiums. Your curiosity started bubbling as you approached the paintings. You silently admired the art, but your moment of calm was soon ended when you heard a loud creak come from the far right side of the boat. Turning around swiftly you saw the source of sound. It was a big metal door, there was an orange fox exiting the door when he suddenly froze up. His eyes met yours, and for a moment the two of you just stared at each other. As he eyes you up and down you could only look at him with big wondering eyes. You’ve never met a fox in real life before, so this was certainly an experience. The silence finally broke when he spoke up.

"Umm...Hello and welcome aboard Jolly Redds treasure trawler!" There was a bit of uncertainty in his voice, like he wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was real. "Hello mister! I’m Y/N, what’s your name?" You asked him, a smile making its way onto your face. "The names Jolly Redd, as the name of my boat would imply." As he introduced himself to you he gave you a mischievous smirk. He seemed to drop any uncertainty and suspicion as he looked at you. "Say, were you checking out my paintings just now?" He asked you while walking closer. "Oh yes! I think they look really beautiful!" You answered enthusiastically, bouncing up and down slightly as you clasped your small hands together. "Ohoho, why thank you. I made them myself you see." Once Redd told you this, you let out a gasp of both surprise and delight. "Wow! For real? I have to tell Mr. Nook and aunt Isabelle about this!" All of the previous pride and confidence that Redd felt disappeared the moment you mentioned "Mr. Nook". He couldn’t let Tom find out he was here. Especially when he’s talking to a human child. Redd knows about Toms protective nature when it comes to humans and children, so the thought of what he might do if he found him near a HUMAN CHILD, it’s scared him. "A-ah! Let’s NOT tell Mr. Nook or Aunt Isabelle. I’m actually a uhh..." think Redd, think! "...secret artist! Yeah! A secret artist! We don’t like to be seen or talked about. So could you do me a favour and not tell anyone about me kid?" Redd said. You however, not knowing he was bluffing, let out yet another gasp and nodded your head vigorously. "Of course mister! I’ll never tell anyone I promise!" Redd let out a laugh as he saw your enthusiasm. He liked you, he wasn’t usually fond of children. But you, something about you was different. You were cute but not to the point of being annoying. Maybe he’d stay here for a little while.

"I like you kid, you’ve got good taste. Us art lovers gotta stick together ya’know. So how about this, can you meet me here again tomorrow at night? It’s a lot easier for me that time." The question made you unsure. You’ve been told not to trust strangers, but he seemed so nice. He seemed trustworthy enough. You didn’t see any reason why you wouldn’t be able to trust him. "Okay, I’ll do it."

And that was that. Every night you would sneak out of your house and visit Redd. He would show you his paintings and such, he’d even let you paint on a separate paper while he was doing his work on his forgeries. The only drawback of this was just how tired you got later during the day. It was starting to get more and more apparent to everyone else on the island, especially to Tom. He had asked you time and time again if you had trouble sleeping, but every time he’d bring it up you would get really quiet and assure him it was nothing. One time when he was out for a stroll he found you, sleeping on a bed of flowers. He picked you up and carried you to your house to put you to bed. As he tucked you into bed he let out a worried sigh, what was going on with you? But right as he walked out he caught a glimpse of something that made him stop dead in his tracks. He quickly rushed to the little desk you had in your room and looked at what laid upon it, it was a drawing. A drawing of you and an orange fox. The drawing was labelled "Me and Redd!" with green crayon. He knew something was up. But he hadn’t expected it to be this bad.

It was late at night and you were on your way to Redds boat. Unbeknownst to you, you had someone following you. As you skipped down to the secret beach you called out for Redd. And a few seconds later, Redd came out of the boat and greeted you with a hug. "Hello there my little artist. Are you ready to have some fun?" He asked as he grabbed your hand and pulled you inside. "Yes! I’m ready!" You two sat down and started to paint. You told him about everything that was happening on the island, letting out a tired yawn every once in a while. As you blabbered away Redd was in deep thought, he knew he couldn’t stay here for much longer. Every day that he was here was another day that Tom could find him, and he sure as hell didn’t want that to happen. But he didn’t want to leave you, your kindness and excitement brought him some kind of joy when he would usually be completely alone. He needed a distraction other than painting and sculpturing, something that would drown out all of the persistent thoughts of hate that he felt each day. But he couldn’t just take you...could he?

"Hey, cousin? Do you like your life here?" He said out of nowhere, interrupting your ramblings. "Huh? Yeah of course. I’ve got friends and family that cares for me. I love it here." Damn it. How would he convince you if you had that attitude. "Aha...but doesn’t it get boring? You know, doing the same thing every day? When was the last time you had some excitement in your life!" Redd put down his brush and turned to you, facing you completely. "I...well..." you truly didn’t have an answer to that, sure island living wasn’t exactly the most heart pounding life but it wasn’t really supposed to be. It was supposed to be a relaxing life, without any stress or worries. "Wouldn’t you rather just get out there on the sea? With me! We could be a team! A crew! I could be the captain and you could be my second mate. Think about it Y/N!" Redd got more and more intense as he tried to convince you, but your face was far from happy or excited. It was filled with uncertainty and discomfort. "N-No I think I’ll pass. I would much rather just stay here." The fox’s expression turned from a smile into an annoyed frown. "If you don’t come with me you’ll never see me again! Do you want that Y/N?! Do you want to learn how to paint on your own? Do you want to loose out on the best teacher and friend you could’ve ever gotten?!" You didn’t give him a response, slowly backing away from him, trying to get to the stairs. But Redd saw what you were doing. "Oh no you don’t!" He rushed towards you and picked you up rather violently, you started to thrash and scream in his grasp, trying everything to get out. But suddenly you were dropped onto the floor. As you looked up in horror you saw Tom Nook hunching over you. He had his claws out and were growling at Redd. As he looked down at you his eyes softened and he motioned for you to run out, you got the message clear and ran. You ran out, sprinting for dear life in order to get to a hiding spot. Your house!

It had been about 10 minutes since you ran from the boat. You were hiding under your bed, trying to calm yourself down as the tears dropped down your face. You could feel your heart stop as you heard the door to your house opening. But you felt a huge wave of relief wash over you when you heard Toms voice call out for you. "Y/N? Where are you? It’s okay. He’s gone." You rushed out from your bed and ran downstairs to the living room. As you saw Tom stand by the end of the stairs you practically threw yourself onto him. "TOM!" Wrapping your arms around him, you started sobbing. You thought something had happened to him. You could barely form any words as tears got caught in your throat, this has been a stressful night to say the least.

"Shh shh...it’s okay...I’ve got you. I’ve got you. He can’t hurt you now, I promise." You cried onto his shoulder while he comforted you. "Do you feel comfortable sleeping alone or would you like to sleep with me, Timmy and Tommy?" You nodded your head as you climbed onto him. He only let out a small sigh as he carried you away to his house. What a mess. He wished he’d have known sooner, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened. But no matter, what was done was done. He could only focus on the future.

And he swore to protect you, no matter what he had to do.

[iovnyu]

8:03pm

content: fluff (?) jay is crushing on you!

a/n: uhmmm i really do not know what this is .... enjoy ig !!

as you are heading to the restaurant to meet up with the members, you can’t help but to mentally curse mother nature for making the sky turn gray. it wasn’t raining, but it looks like there was a big storm coming your way... soon. 

you started running to hopefully warm your body, but realized that it did not help at all -- in fact it made you even colder than you were before. either way,  you still ran to get to the restaurant.

you heard someone call your name but you didn’t want to spend anymore time in the rain so, you kept running. your only protection was your hand that was held to shield your eyes so you are able to see where you are going. 

suddenly, you felt a presence next to you. looking to your right, jay appeared holding his jacket above both of you -- mostly over you, who was soaking wet. “can you not hear me yelling your name?” jay said over the rain.

“yeah, i did. i just didn’t want to look back.” you responded. “aren’t you cold?” 

you subconsciously pulled him closer to you, hoping that your body warmth would be enough to prevent him from catching a cold. jay’s arm was now on the side of your head, laying on your shoulder with the jacket now covering both of you.

“oh wow, ___. i am so glad you care about me.” jay said sarcastically.

finally arriving to your destination, you saw the rest of the members huddled underneath one umbrella. they were too busy arguing with each other on who is covered more.

“oh! look who decides to show up!” heeseung said to the members, who were now looking at the both of you walking to them. “and of course they both come together!” 

“shut up! i didn’t have an umbrella.” you said, lightly slapping heeseung’s arm. 

“yeah, we can tell.” jungwon said, eyeing jay. jungwon knew jay’s feelings towards you but you were oblivious to his affection towards you.

trying to shake off the water from your hair, you made eye contact with jay. “what?”

jay shook his head, “nothing. you just look like a dog shaking after a shower.” he said laughing. 

“oh, screw off!!” you pushed jay. 

“are you guys done? can we go eat now?” 

[bluegarners]

By popular demand, I have written a Part 2 for mainstay for @viceturtle. Thank you so much @newsical for being an immense help with this!!

Part 1.

This chapter was inspired by this conversation between @bigskydreaming and @fuyunoakegata

ao3

There’s a lot to be said about his stubbornness. 

He thinks everyone has at least some degree of it within themselves. A refusal to move or consent to something. Sure, some don’t hesitate long. They give. They bend. They break. But the stubbornness is in that hesitation. That moment of ‘Am I really doing this? Should I be doing this? Why in the world should I do this?’. It’s about the pause, is what he’s trying to get at, that makes stubbornness so inherent to each individual. 

It breathes in the form of grudges. Arguments. Games of she-said-he-said-they-said. Right or wrong. I told you so’s and I’m not sorry’s. 

Jason does all of those things like it's second nature. He’s not going to pretend like he’s some saint who can understand the other side and reason with them. If he thinks he’s right, it’s not a matter of if the other person is actually right or wrong. He knows he’s right, so it doesn’t matter in the end. He knows what he knows, and if he doesn’t— whatever. Immovable object and all that.

So, yeah. There’s a lot to be said about his stubbornness. 

He calls Red Robin anyway.

“He’s gone.”

“Sorry, what? I need context for this. There’s a lot of people this could apply to—”

“Dick. Dick is gone.”

“Oh. Like, just now he left?”

“I don’t know. Some guy came and took him.”

“As much as I love vague conversations, this isn’t helping me and I don’t understand why you’re calling in the first place.”

“Dick is fucking. Gone. What do you not understand about that.”

“Jesus, I don’t know, Jason. What, is he not supposed to be gone? He said he was going to leave again. He already said ‘hi’ to Damian, so I don’t see why he would stick around any longer.”

“Hm.”

“Fuck me, didn’t you know? This was all just- just some visit for him. Sure, he’ll be back eventually, but fuck knows if he’s actually—”

He hangs up. Pockets his phone. Listens as the rain continues to drench the world outside of his little apartment. His shoulders hurt. There’s a bruise on his chest. Right between his fifth and sixth ribs. He has a split lip. He put ointment on it earlier but it still stings. His knees ache. He has a distant memory of his mother complaining about her knees too. Something about the weather making them act up.

He’s twenty-three.

He’s getting old.

On the table next to him is a box of cigarettes. Low-tar. Filtered. In his right pocket, there’s a lighter he got from someone years ago. He doesn’t know. Maybe he stole it. Found it. 

He pulls it out. Shakes a cigarette out of the thin box. Holds the paper wrapped nicotine between his lips, lifting the lighter and thumbing the flink strike. 

Click. 

He shakes the lighter. Tries again.

Click.

Gotham hasn’t had this much rain in a long time. It’s nearing October. Maybe it’s in season or whatever weather does. He doesn’t know the term.

Click.

It’s raining outside. Jason can see it. There’s raindrops on his window. He can hear it clattering against the fire-escape. Gray and black and mixes of yellow from street lamps below. Jason is inside on the comfort of his couch. Sure, it’s not the best apartment, but it doesn’t leak. The ceiling is fine and he hasn’t had any problems with it before. His face is wet though. He doesn’t know why.

Click.

Click.

Click.

The cigarette falls from his lips and lands with a thud on the stained carpet. The T.V is on. Says the storm over Gotham will last for the next few days. An unprecedented seven inches of rain predicted. The GCPD is advising everyone to stay indoors. Crime is expected to rise with the water levels.

Click.

His clothes are still soaked. He’s probably ruining his couch. He can’t remember if he took his boots off or not. 

Click.

Jason sighs. His chest feels heavy, like someone is sitting on top of him. It’s just him though. Only him in his apartment. He likes having his own space. The neighbors get loud sometimes, but it’s not as if he’s a five star resident either. It’s always been like this. He is…. Alone.

Click.

Dick was gone. Came back. And now, Dick is gone again. Did he do that? Did he drive him away? Is this his fault? Jason doesn’t know. Doesn’t care. Doesn’t know if he doesn’t care at all, but at least the rain is nice to listen to. Yeah. The rain is really nice. Consistent. Steady.

Click.

He didn’t take off his boots.

 ~oOo~

One month is all it takes. 

One month and Nightwing is out spotted in Bludhaven, his photo splashed across every news outlet from Gotham to Metropolis. New Jersey missed its boy in blue and cheers at his return.

Nightwing stays in Bludhaven though. Red Hood stays in Gotham. Just as it used to be. Back to normal. Yeah.

The rain stopped a week ago.

Jason misses the noise.

 ~oOo~

“Won’t you come?”

“No.”

“Please, Master Jason? We would love to have you here. It has been too long.”

“I can’t.”

“I thought you loved turkey. There’ll be plenty of leftovers and I know you’ve been meaning to return the tupperware from last time. It’ll be good for you to leave that apartment of yours.”

“I have better things to do than play nice and talk politics in Brucie Wayne’s mansion. I’m not coming.”

“I know you have your own quarrels with Master Dick, but—”

“It’s not about him. I don’t give a fuck about what he’s doing or what stick Bruce has up his ass this time. I am not walking into the line of fire just to save everyone else an evening of beating around the bush. I. Am. Not. Going.”

“. . . Then won’t you at least visit? I miss you. I worry about you.”

“I’m sorry, Alfred.”

“I am too, my boy.”

  Click.

 Jason spends Thanksgiving out in the Narrows. He’s not rich, doesn’t want to be, but he has money. Plenty he doesn’t need to spend on himself. He goes grocery shopping. Fills two, three carts worth of canned food and rotisserie chickens. Goes home, carries the bags in all at once. Organizes them. 

Single. Partners. Family.

He leaves his apartment. He is not Jason Todd. He is not Red Hood. He’s just some guy out in the Narrows. 

He hands out the bags. Has the decency to look the people in the eyes, knowing he was that street kid once. Seeing his mother in each dirty, beaten face he comes across. Pitying the drunken men and the addicts. They accept his offerings. It would be stupid not to. No one says thank you. He doesn’t need them to.

He goes home. His arms are sore. The bruises have completely faded.

The apartment is empty.

  Click

 Sometimes, there are days where he doesn’t know why. 

That’s a big concept: why? 

He thinks it carries too much weight. Maybe if he had survived past tenth grade, he could’ve signed up for a philosophy or debate class, maybe shed some light on that particular question, but he didn’t. Survive. So, he only has his own mind to ponder the concept. He’s read a couple books. Never fully understood the words he read though. He would’ve liked to, but he didn’t. Understand. 

But it’s up to interpretation right? So, here’s where he’s at.

Jason doesn’t understand or know why sometimes, and it becomes a problem.

He doesn’t understand why he got such a bad hand for parents. Why Bruce didn’t grieve like Jason wanted him to (so desperately yearned for, screamed for, died for). Why someone thought it was a good idea for him to live out a second-still-the-same life. Why he came back so different. (Was he? Different? He doesn’t think he came back wrong but he doesn’t know a lot. Well, he does. But, if he came back wrong then that means he wasn’t right to begin with and he’s always right and if he’s wrong then—). 

He doesn’t know why he punched Dick. He didn’t want to. Not really. But he did. Want to. Badly so. Wanted proof, wanted penance, wanted forgiveness, wanted retribution, wanted that sting that comes with reality and the regret of a little something called mortality. Horse drawn carriage alongside Death, patting the seat next to it. 

Okay, he knows why .

He doesn’t understand why, though.

Jason doesn’t understand why he gets so angry sometimes. It doesn’t feel good, doesn’t feel right, like he’s supposed to be feeling something else but he’s just flipped upside down so there’s no point in trying to right himself. He’s always right anyway. Yeah. Yeah.

He doesn’t understand why he says things, why he opens his mouth at all when he regrets them so quickly after. He yells a lot. Raises his voice and spits mean words and cusses worse than anyone else he knows and regrets it as soon as it leaves his mouth. But he doesn’t learn. Doesn’t rethink it, doesn’t look back and remember the lesson he taught himself. You can’t be taught if you’re always right anyway, so what’s the point? Why regret it when he’s just going to do it again? 

That’s a big word: why.

There are answers attached to the word. Reasons for the question being asked. Explanations and solutions and resolutions.

Jason is good at solving problems, is quick to work around it and get the job done. And a question is just a problem being asked, right? It’s verbal, that’s the only difference, so if he’s such a good problem solver, if he’s such a goddamn good thinker and understands things like philosophy and literature and great big concepts and words—

Why did he do that? Why did he say those things? Why can’t he make up his fucking mind? Why is he the way he is? Why does he just push and shove and drive away everyone and everything? Why did he come back different? Why did he come back wrong? Why didn’t Bruce love him enough to end things? Why was he worth a second chance when he screws up and regrets so much? Why do people still fucking try with him? Why can’t he get one goddamn thing right? Why is he always—

Click.

“Why didn’t you come to dinner?”

Click.

Red Hood is in Gotham. Nightwing is too. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. The air is cold and there’s ice in the wind. It’s a clear night. A quiet frost coats the rooftop and Jason can hear his brother’s footsteps.

“We missed you, you know. Here, Agent A wanted me to give you these.”

Jason turns. Dick is holding out a duffle-cooler. He stands six feet away.

“They’re just leftovers. Turkey, sweet potatoes, casserole, pie; the fixings.”

Jason doesn’t move. Neither does Dick. To anyone else, it would look like a stand-off between Nightwing and Red Hood, neutral ground tensions. They both know it’s not.

It is cold and there is ice in the wind and the rainy season is long past. When they breathe, it erupts out of them in the form of white vapor and Jason can only think of the fact that it looks like smoke. His lighter still doesn’t work. It sits in his right pocket. He wants to take it out. Hear the click. 

“There’s some beer too,” Dick adds softly, voice carried away and twisted in the sharp air. “I have a bottle opener.”

Nightwing walks a few paces away to sit against an A/C unit, shielding himself from the wind. He sets the cooler down beside him, unzipping the duffle and pulling out two bottles of a brand Jason doesn’t recognize, and pats the space next to him. Horse drawn carriage. 

Why is a big concept. A big word. Maybe one of the bigger questions in the repertoire. 

He doesn’t know nor understand why he takes the offered seat. He just does. It feels right to do so. Jason takes the offered bottle too and opens it himself. Hands back the blade. Takes a sip.

It’s cold. It warms him. 

He doesn’t understand:

“Why?”

Dick swirls the alcohol around, bubbles rising to the surface. “Why, what?” 

There’s a lot of things Jason could say. Could ask. He’s had two months to think about a question that would fit the answer he’s trying so hard to get; one that would satisfy the cavern that just keeps getting wider and wider, this empty presence that digs deeper inside him. He likes to think it would be a really intelligent question, one that would stump his all knowing brother; the one with all the answers in the world and a smile to accompany it. Dick had been on this pedestal for as long as Jason can remember. Had been placed so high above himself, even now, it’s impossible for him to reach, fingers a thousand miles away from ever grazing the top.

A lot of people would tell him he’s done this to himself. That the things he decides to do, his actions, what he says to other people and what they do as a consequence; all a product of his own creation. Even the cavern inside of him, filled with stalagmites and cobwebs and so many empty boxes, perhaps he did that to himself. He— He did that. To himself. 

But Jason doesn’t like being wrong. Doesn’t like the fear that invades every nerve in his body when faced with the possibility of being so far off from the mark that it comes back and strikes him in the face. He’s paid the price for being wrong, has the scars and the memories and the stories to prove it, but he’s also been right, over and over again, and it feels so good to be right.

It felt good to punch his brother.

It felt good to have a reason to do so. 

The anger, the fear, the possessive guilt that clung to him in those months where Dick was dead and he was at the wheel, knowing he was going to crash and burn eventually and probably take everyone with him. He played the long game and knew the end result. Jason had fooled himself with the thought of taking Dick’s place, thinking he could climb up that enormous pedestal he had placed there himself all those years ago. Torn down and resurrected today.

He doesn’t have a question though. Not a singular, all encompassing question that would piece together every missing hole inside of him and fill the void. His mother used to tell him he talked too much, that a big mouth like his would one day get him into trouble. She also told him that he was smart and curious and kind and so much more than anything she would ever be able to give him. Jason doesn’t understand why she said so many contrary things.  Wishes he could ask her, have the opportunity to finally get the answers he wanted from her when he left everything behind just for a chance to do so. He can’t though. She died. He died too.

Dick didn’t.

“Why did you leave?” 

His brother stops swirling the contents of his bottle, choosing instead to release a heavy sigh that travels into the air in a thick cloud of tired gray and remorse. “I wasn’t in a good place at the time. Leaving felt like the only good thing left I could do. Batman gave me the mission and I… I took it.”

“What part of letting us all think you were dead was ‘good’? How does that translate to ‘good’ in your world?”

“I wasn’t a part of that decision,” Dick says pointedly, setting down his beer and thunking his head back to rest against the unit. “I was still comatose by the time Batman had broken the news to everyone else. I told you, Hood, I had no choice. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it was all that made sense to do.”

He pauses, a hand coming up to scrub at the sides of his face. “Robin had just… died. Protecting me. I got captured by people with faces I’ve known my entire life and couldn’t escape them. I let myself get hooked up to that- that machine and exposed my identity to the entire world. Do you have any idea what that would’ve done to you all, had I stayed? Everyone knew who Nightwing was under the mask. It would’ve— People would have figured the rest out soon enough. When Batman offered me the opportunity to at least make something right, I took it.”

Something unsettles inside Jason’s chest. Leaking, fracturing. It feels wrong. He feels- “So, what? You left because you felt bad ? Gallivanted off as soon as the opportunity was presented? Oh, I’m sure you’d love to do that again. Hey, Nightwing, tell me, are you feeling bad right now? Would you like a one-way ticket to Spain? I bet that’d make you feel much better.”

Dick frowns, head swiveling to look at Jason. “If that’s how you’d like to picture it, then fine. Yeah, I felt bad about exposing my entire family’s identities. I felt bad about letting down Batman and getting myself taken. I felt bad about dying and not being—”

“Quit fucking saying you died! You didn’t. You put on a good show, I’ll give you that, but having a model that looks just like you being buried in the ground doesn’t qualify as you dying. Get the fuck over yourself.”

A sharp crack meets his words and Jason snaps his head over to see Dick’s bottle broken against the ground, the older man having knocked it over with his hand.

Nightwing’s white lenses are staring at him and Red Hood meets his gaze unflinchingly, if only for the reason that he can’t see his brother’s eyes. There was something to be said about clear eyes in a city full of smog and endless voids, and Jason has looked enough people in the eye to know when to blink and walk away. The dark does not have a gaze to collapse within and yet there is empty white surrounding them.

“Come with me.” 

Why is too big of a word.

 Jason follows anyway.

He’s at the end of his rope in asking questions he knows no one will be able to answer. Knows that the answer he wants is not one anyone is willing to give, or even can give. See, Jason knows why. Has an understanding with the concept in a personal way unlike anyone else will ever have. He knows, understands, gets exactly what the question demands with all of its little fallacies and conundrums and ever so many follow ups. If he could, Jason would shake hands with it, an agreement to never speak a word of its existence ever again. But, how could he ponder the question when he himself cannot bear to fathom his own existence?

Nightwing is already scaling down a fire-escape, duffle-cooler slung over his shoulder, and Jason watches his head disappear below the roof line. He stands up, feet numb and hands feeling bitten, and side glances the broken bottle and the one he’s leaving behind. Even with the bleak, gray weather, the glass twinkles and shimmers in the ice, and, just faintly, Jason can smell the alcohol in the wind. Gotham is a city filled with muck, grease, scum, and litter. There is no difference in adding their own to the ever increasing pile, and yet Jason cannot help amend himself with the thought that at least their trash is beautiful in the cold.

He walks over to the edge of the roof, peering down to where he can see Nightwing traveling up a different, rusted ladder, ready to seek a new vantage point for wherever it is he’s decided to lead Jason. He doesn’t have his helmet on tonight, just a plain domino to hide his face, and the frost cuts against his nose and lips. A shiver runs through his body and Jason slides down into the alleyway below, keeping his brother in eye-sight. Nightwing launches a grapple, clinging to another building about 200 meters away, and Red Hood follows suit, the chill buffering inside of his jacket.

They arrive at one of those motel looking buildings, the outward appearance completely abandoned. Bruce had built this many years ago, one of the first of several safe-houses, and for all intents and purposes, it served to only attract the kinds of people that knew how to keep their mouths shut. The “general office” is where Dick walks into, a separate facility from the boarding rooms. He waits for Jason to enter, having taken a back door of four inches of solid steel, and locks it behind them once the younger has entered as well.

Dick throws the duffle onto one of the chairs inside the room, and rolls his shoulders in a circular motion, a long sigh escaping him. Somewhere, Jason can hear the heater kicking on.

He thumbs his lighter.

Click.

He isn’t sure what he’s supposed to be doing, waiting by the door for Dick to make the first move. His brother says nothing though, continuing to move his joints around and rub his hands furiously together. He doesn’t even glance at Jason as he leaves the main room, entering another side door and into, what Jason assumes is, a bathroom. Left alone, Jason keeps his boots on and sits down.

Click.

He waits. Peels off his mask and winces at the pull on his skin. Rubs at his eyes and forehead. Sighs.

Click. Click.

He stares at the domino in his lap, regretting having taken it off. Dick could look him in the eye now. He didn’t— He doesn’t like that. You only look people in the eye when you want to convey something, be it emotion, honesty, or purely how much you don’t give a shit. Jason doesn’t know what it meant when he looked at all those people in the Narrows a few days ago. Doesn’t know what it meant when they looked at him. Who was he, then? He was no one. No one. 

Click.

The bathroom door opens and Dick steps out wearing a thick tank top and a long pair of joggers. Just beyond the cracked doorway, Jason can see his Nightwing suit hung up against a rack. The remnants of irritated skin also pepper his brother’s face, red and splotchy. 

Dick looks up and meets his gaze.

Click.

“This the part where you try to argue yourself right?”

His older brother frowns. “No, it’s not.”

Jason looks away.

Click. Click. Click.

“What’s that in your pocket?”

“Just some old lighter. It doesn’t work.”

“Ah.”

The stiff silence reverberates between them. Normally, when conversation isn’t invited, Dick would go off somewhere and find something to do; something in his head urging him to seek out an offering. It was a tactic the older man used often, something to hold or something else to focus your attention on making an otherwise shaky atmosphere comfortable. When he was still Robin, it was a ploy Jason found himself enjoying sometimes, where Nightwing would meet him on some pre-designated roof carrying hot chocolate or donuts and Jason would gripe to the older man about Bruce’s latest restriction or Batman’s newest growl. Their conversations would last well into the night and it was their secret they kept together, a fall-back to go to when things were too uncertain or days were too long.

Those memories were nice. Fond, even. 

Dick does not have an offering this time.

“Did you believe I was dead?”

Jason sucks in a breath, fingers stilling against his lighter. “Yes.” Pause. “I wanted to.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” Jason fires back. “It was on live television for Christ’s sake, Dick! Half the world watched you die.”

“It’s not as if doctored film has never been done before, even if it was live. At some point, it cut off too. I’ve watched the video myself. My death wasn’t shown on screen.”

“There was audio. I could hear your heart stopping on the machine.”

“There was a lot of fighting going on. It was chaos.”

“Fine, I didn’t see you die and the video was shit. But Bruce told us you were dead. Batman told us you had died.”

“And Batman doesn’t lie.”

“Fuck you.”

Dick sighs, leaning back against one of the walls. “Look, I’m not trying to pick another fight with you. I don’t want to.”

“Then what. Do. You. Want,” Jason grounds out, rising from his chair. “I’m sick of this. I am so sick of not knowing what the fuck is going on with you and Bruce, with all of your little secrets and fake-deaths and—”

“It wasn’t fake,” Dick interrupts, standing his ground. “It may not have been for long, but my heart did stop. I died in that machine, Jason, and I’m upset you guys accepted that.”

“Well, what the fuck else were we supposed to do?” Jason erupts, flinging his arms wide. “Fucking poke at your body until you were alive again? Wait next to your corpse in the morgue with your suit on hand, just in case you decided to wake up?”

“You could’ve at least doubted, ” Dick hisses. Jason can hear the heater still humming. The room is cold though. Bitter. “At the very least, you guys could’ve looked into it. Bruce isn’t the perfect, untouchable beast we’ve made him into. He left a trail. A trail that would have led right to the fake body he created while I was comatose. A trail that would have shown the Batmobile needing repairs it shouldn’t have needed. A trail that would have shown the documents he forged to get me into Spyral. There were so many things, Jason! So many goddamn things that would have shown you guys I wasn’t dead!”

“If you wanted to be found so badly, why didn’t you tell us?” Jason snarls, that leaking fracture in his chest pooling into his lungs. “Why didn’t you say a single word if you were so desperate for someone to notice?”

“I already told you,” Dick says quietly. “I needed to make things right. Bruce offered a way to do it and I needed that; the space, away from everything, everyone, in my life that I knew I had failed. I don’t regret it, and I am sorry it caused so much pain, but—”

Click.

“—was it really so wrong to want someone to save me?”

The leak implodes and Jason stops breathing.

Click. Click. Click. Click.

“I know it sounds ridiculous. I should be able to handle these things, but I— there was this moment where I convinced myself that none of what was happening was real and that it was all some nightmare I was watching.”

The blows had stung and burned in the way only rusted metal against bone and flesh could. His left eye was bleeding and his nose had been broken long ago. After the thirtieth strike, Jason had somehow convinced himself it wasn’t real. That he wasn’t there, in that old warehouse, and that he wasn’t some child-soldier-hero being beaten to death by a maniac who laughed and giggled at his pain. 

“When I woke up, I really believed that. I-I was so convinced and then Bruce showed up and gave me this mission and, god, Jason, how could I have ever said no? I had failed. Bruce told me I failed. ”

He remembers that sadistic clock in the corner. Silent up until the last ten seconds. It had its own little tick, a click, and it was the stupidest looking bomb Jason had ever seen, bright red and just any old alarm clock with a few extra wires. A nightmare. All just a nightmare and Jason had begged the universe for him to wake up. For someone, anyone, to save him. For Batman to come swooping in and rescue him from his stupid fucking mistakes but—

Click.

Dick breathes out, a shuttering exhale that rocks him to his core. “Spyral, the mission, everything after… It was my penance, I think. Bruce’s way of forgiving me for failing. There was just no other way, Jason. It was all I had left. I guess I had just hoped someone was still in my corner, even after fucking it all up, you know?”

He does. Jason does know with a clarity that haunts him every morning he wakes up and finds the events unchanged. There are cobwebs and old boxes inside his cavern, the place where his soul used to be, but he knows. He knows he came back wrong. That he came back different. That something inside of him was missing when he opened his eyes to mystic green and an emptiness that plagued him until he came back to Gotham; rage, fear, and a deep sadness taking up that empty space inside of him. He doesn’t know how many times he’s asked himself ‘why?’ only to ignore the answer given to him. Too many. 

And maybe Dick has asked that same question as well. Maybe he has his own cavern deep inside of him, filled with his own fragmented cobwebs and starved crates, ghosts that continue to follow his every step, and whispers that forever ring in his ears. Perhaps the dead carry memories and questions wherever they go, and perhaps that is their sole purpose. They only stay to recount and wish and want and only breach the word “if” and “maybe”. 

But they are alive now. They live. They breathe. 

Jason thought death connected himself to his elder brother, but perhaps it was the voids inside of them both that bound them together. The desperation that clung to their beings, seeking approval, seeking retribution, seeking out anything that’ll make them feel whole once more after having been stripped bare and left in the throes of Death's carriage. This was the tie that bound them together. It wasn’t Bruce. It wasn’t Robin. It wasn’t death.

It was simply the missing pieces inside of them. Brothers not by blood, but by the very nature of their search for meaning. And that was all.

“Yeah,” Jason says, the molten gravity of this answer leaving him boneless. “Okay.”

Dick stares at him with the same clear eyes he’s looked at his younger brother with since day one. Something passes behind those eyes, a shift in the monumental focus that is Dick Grayson’s ever present gaze, and the heater continues to thrum in the background, just as ubiquitous as Gotham always was and always will be for them. There was a fundamental alteration inside them both, something taken from them that can’t be replaced, and Jason feels as though he is not alone anymore. There is another presence, another existence, in his life full of betrayal that shares the same scars and the same emptiness that has captured him since the day Bruce stopped hoping for him.

“Okay?” Dick repeats quietly, and Jason can hear the echo inside his chest. “Is that all?” 

“No,” Jason murmurs, easing back into the chair he had left. “No, it’s not. But I… I can’t do more of this right now. I don’t want to.”

“I don’t either,” Dick sighs, the exhaustion from his own ordeals weighing down his shoulders and causing him to slide down the wall. “It’s— I never wanted to, Jason. You know that, right?”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. I guess- We deal with it, right?”

Jason wants to laugh. Maybe give a little less weight on his back to the warm air around them, but it sounds like a lot to do. He exhales instead, something maybe interpretable as a tired grin lifting his mouth. “Another time, then?”

Perhaps that is a statement that can’t be guaranteed nor promised. Time is scarce in their world, more so than anyone else's, but it is a scarcity they are well accustomed to. Death had departed in Its carriage, the seat left warm by their presence, but for now, they had left and that was all that really mattered. Why they left, why they need time they don’t have, why the caverns inside of them exist. All questions that have been answered before. Maybe when the sky isn’t gray, or when the rain isn’t pounding against fractured ceilings, they can begin to make amends and go from there. But the safe-house is warm.

It is warm.

“Another time.”

[sooghostwriter]

Only on the weekends

Member/Pairing: Do Kyung Soo x OC (Nameless) Genre/Type: Mature, Romance, AU. Warnings: None yet. Word count: 9, 668

Notes: This story takes please wherever you want. You will see why it would be weird to centered it in Korea.

Also, kindly reminder that this is not Instagram. 

Summary: She is saved by a caring man from a little mishappening in the middle of the forest. A small act of kindness turns into seasons of laughs, food, fun, care, love and sex.

Chapter 1

- Summer -

Someone recommended her to go hiking. They said it would fun, that she would get in touch with nature and that when you reach the top, you get this immense feeling of accomplishment. Sounded really good. And she enjoyed going to the gym and running, and this was like that but in a mountain. A friend told her once that it was as good as sex. Clearly, she was wrong, because there was no comparison. One was clearly better than the other.

But a gym is a gym, and nature is nature. All those spinning classes were nothing compared with a steep mountain. There was a coordination she didn't possess, and it was something necessary for this environment. The path was unpredictable, and she wasn't quick enough to adapt to it. She was now last in line and the guide wasn't the best dude out there, hardly checking in with any of the hikers. The clean air made her nostrils cold, breathing was hurting her nose a little bit. The path was a bit scary too. It was very narrow and although the slope wasn’t very high, it was still a little bit terrifying. She was sure she was far away from dying, but it would still hurt. All the negativity of focusing on how bad the situation was, ended up screwing her one on one experience with mother nature. She could barely see the back of the hiker in front of her, and the path was quite slippery due to the last rain. After a short break, she took one step with her right leg, stepping in a small piece of wood. A cylindric piece of wood that suddenly decided to act like a roller skate. She tried to hold herself with the trekking pole, but she didn’t have the skill to do so. The pole reached for thin air as her right leg slid down the slope. Her left leg followed suit, and as if she was in a water park, her body slid down the slope. There was no three to stop her fall, only grass and tiny rocks that hurt her elbows and hands. She shouted for help, hoping that her group could hear her, and kept trying to hold onto something, but it was useless. The fall was short, but hurtful, to her body and her ego. She checked her body, especially her arms and legs, and although there was some pain, her bones were intact. The fabric of her pants had survived also, so the skin of her legs was fine. Her arms were another story. Since it was summer, she went for a t-shirt, so her elbows got the worst part. She stood very carefully and not without some difficulty. Her body still wobbly from the fall. Going back to the path was impossible, it was a pretty decent slope and pretty slippery from the rain. The only option was to walk down the slope, just a few steps, she tried to convince herself. She could see another pathway there. Not the one they used, but a track, nonetheless. She was in pain, but bearable. She held to the pole and stuck it in the loose soil, hoping that it would help her. And it did for the first 10 steps. She was very close to reach the path when, this time, her left foot slid to the front, taking her to the floor. This was the second time the land turned into a slide, and she was the five-year-old screaming on her way down. This time the landing wasn’t very bad. She didn’t fight the fall this time, keeping her arms up and just letting it happen. Her elbows didn’t need more exfoliating for the day. She was now seated in the damp floor, muddy legs and scratched elbows. Two deep breaths helped her keep the frustrated crying inside. She could cry later, now she needed to find her way back to the group. She checked her phone. No signal and almost no battery. So now she had a very expensive brick in her hands. It was hard to keep it cool when you were pretty much lost in the mountains. Doing 100 squats a day did not help her find which way was north and south, or how to find water “Is everything alright?” The sound of a male voice in the middle of the forest just added to this terrible experience “You need help?” She turned around slowly, jolting at the sight of a horse, far away, but still a horse. The person riding the horse jumped down swiftly and walked to her, slowly. He was a bit taller than her. She could see some pecks through his white shirt, he was buffed, but not like a gorilla. Strong tan arms peeked out from short sleeves, the muscles flexing as he reached up to take his hat off. She felt herself relax once she was able to see him better. He looked worried, not as shocked as she was, but still, a little bit taken aback by her sudden apparition “Are you hurt?” He insisted “I’m ok, I just scratched my hands and elbows” She pouted, showing him her arms. He tried to hide his smile, but she saw it anyway “How did you end up here?” “I was with a group, hiking, but apparently my body was not ready for the wilderness, and I was left behind, the guide is clearly a scam” “Is it the guy from the tourist office next to the city hall?” She nodded “Yeah, that guy is a joke…let me help you” Is not like she could choose either. She could walk, but as soon as she presented that option, the guy shook his head, still worried “Is a long way until you can find cell phone signal, and also, it’s monsoon season, the forest is thick and cold, someone who’s not familiar can't walk around here” “And you are familiar with it?” “I live on the border of this forest, is pretty much my backyard” She knew there was a risk in trusting a stranger, but it was also a risk to go alone. He was her only option. And the more she spoke with him, the more she trusted him. Call it instinct.   “What's your name?” She asked, sealing the deal “Do Kyung Soo” She repeated his name for herself, and notice how it fit him. The name started hard and ended softly just like him, just like his features. He asked for her name, and once the formal introductions were made, he faced his horse “It could take you 40 minutes to reach the main road by feet, I offer you a ride” “Can we ride it together?” He patted the horse’s neck thoughtfully “Is not recommended, but for a short period of time it’s ok, we need to share the saddle otherwise it could hurt him” He told her about his horse personality traits “What do you mean he is not very social?” She asked. Apparently, his horse was a kicker, and only his previous owner was able to ride him, besides him “Try to approach him slowly, and wait until he touches your hand with his nose” She looked at him with distrust. He didn’t look quite confident either “What’s his name?” “Chanyeol” That was a special name for a horse. Now that she knew his name, she felt more confident approaching him. She did as Kyung Soo instructed, smiling when Chanyeol didn’t move his snout away. She scratched his long nose and he moved his ears in contentment. Kyung Soo gasped in surprise “It’s that good?” “Yes! Come here, you can get on now” She stood between Kyung Soo and Chanyeol “First you have to put your left foot here,” He said pointing at the stapes “Hold on to the saddle, take one bounce and pass your right leg over the horse and sit down gently” She tried it once since it sounded pretty easy. But the angle of her leg didn’t allow her to jump correctly. The first attempt was a complete fail “I’m going to help you, I’m going to push you from your thigh, just above the knee, is that ok?” “Sure, thanks for asking” She arranged her position, focusing on using her core strength to help her up. This time the leap was probably worst than before, it was really Kyung Soo’s push that did all the work. His hand felt strong and rough against her leg. A very nice feeling, not invasive, but very present. Chanyeol barely reacted to her, he kept chewing the grass “I’m going to go up now, I’m going to sit behind you, sorry but it’s going to be a bit close” He said, looking at the floor “How close?” “Like in a motorcycle, right behind you” That wasn’t very bad. She’s ridden like that before. She sat very close to the front of the saddle to give Kyung Soo a little more space. It didn’t surprise her how smoothly he got on. He wasn’t kidding when he said that they would be sitting very close. She could feel his hard, warm chest against her back. She could feel everything against her back “Why I’m at the front? I don’t know how to drive this…him…it?” He chuckled behind her as he reached for the rains, pressing his chest against her back even harder “It’s him, and don’t worry, I will drive it, I’m just sitting behind you because it’s safer, if you sit in the back and lose your balance and fall, you could bring me down with you” “It’s ok, you don’t have to give me so many explanations” She commented looking over her shoulder at him with a small smile. He didn’t answer, only grinned and shook the rains. Chanyeol took a couple of steps and after Kyung Soo made some kisses noises, the horse began to gallop. Kyung Soo was right when he said that the forest wasn’t for everybody. The threes got taller and the bushes covered the road in some parts. She was now used to the movement of the horse, it wasn’t very scary, probably because Kyung Soo gave her a strong sense of safety “Are you ok?” He asked for the third time in 15 minutes “Yes I’m ok” “How are your scratches? You need to clean them as soon as we arrive at my place” She was so focused on not falling down the horse and in Kyung Soo’s presence that she had forgotten about her wounded hands and dirty clothes “Check your phone, you may have signal now” She did, so she made a quick call to the tourist office to let them know she was alright. They could later inform the incompetent guide at some point. They must have some kind of radio communication. She made sure to show her opinion about the so-called guide. Polite but hard. She couldn’t keep herself under control, so when she hung up she cursed at the phone. Kyung Soo chuckled behind her “What a gutter mouth” He whispered, too close to her ear “Yes, I am very bad” She answered, out of reflex, not trying to sound like anything. Her phone chimed in her hands, telling her that there was only 5% battery life left “Can I charge my phone at your place?” “Sure, what are your plans by the way? Did you come here by car?” Her car was parked at the town’s main square. A van drove her group there and was waiting on the other side of the mountain.“I would drive you to the town, but my car is at the mechanic, I can ask a friend that has a tow to bring your car” “I’m so sorry to bother you, but that would be very helpful” “Don’t worry, we will be there in about 10 minutes” A sudden chuckle escaped his lips. She asked him what was entertaining him “I’m sorry…I just remembered when I saw you fall down the slope” He said, holding his laughter “You saw me?!” She turned around, her face almost colliding with his “I did, I heard some grunts and yells in the distance, and then I saw you, I was shocked at first, a bit scared, you know, this forest is a big one, and we were very deep into it” Again his laugh ringed harmoniously in her ear. She didn’t quite understand what he meant so she asked him for more details “There are a lot of stories about creatures that live here, for a moment, a very short moment, I thought you were a Hulder” “Who’s that?” He moved slightly uncomfortable, clearing his throat a couple of times “I will leave the research to you I don't feel comfortable answering you” “What? Is something bad?” “I wouldn’t say bad, but…you will see” She smirked, amused by the mystery and his deep voice on her ear “You are making me curious, I like that…but have you ever seen something in the forest? Something weird?” He arranged his arms tighter around her, humming before answering “Of course not, those are just legends to keep people away from the danger of the forest, sure you are not going to find a werewolf, but a wild boar can cause the same damage, also, slopes” “Slippery slopes” She corrected him “But how do you know that I’m not a Hulder? Maybe I am one, and I’m going to do whatever a Hulder does” “They have long tails hidden under their long skirts, I don’t think you have one” She had absolutely no bad intentions when she moved her hips unconsciously, rubbing herself against him. Kyung Soo grunted softly but made no comments. At least, he was now sure that she had no tail “What were you doing in the dangerous forest then?” “Picking some wood for something I want to do" Chanyeol’s steps were slower now, the sway of his walk softer. The forest ahead was less dense. The trees were shorter, most of them with fruits on them, and the path they were walking on was covered in small rocks “We are here, that over there is my house” He pointed at a wood house in the distance, past a field of grass were a couple of cows, cheeps and a bunch of chickens were idling around. The silence of the field made her notice the clean sounds of their surroundings. Instead of cars, planes and chatter, there was wind, a distant chicken announcing her job done and the murmur of the river “Is there a river close by?” She asked, looking around them in excitement, she loved water. He pointed at his house again “On the other side of my house, during the summer is calmer, some parts are deeper than others, but if you know how to swim, there shouldn’t be any trouble” Chanyeol stopped walking next to a couple of cows that were eating hay under the shadow of a tall tree “He is not allowed around the house, he’s already made a mess of my garden a few times” “Chanyeol, bad boy” She said patting the horse’s neck, getting a happy neigh in return “I can’t believe how welcoming he is with you, one time he almost bites my friend’s hand, and he sees him very often” “I'm not gonna lie, It feels great being liked by animals,” With a chuckle Kyung Soo jumped down from the horse, looking insanely manly in her eyes. She knew she had to do the same but had absolutely no idea how. Kyung Soo noticed her expression and quickly explained to her how she should go down the horse, and it sounded fairly simple, but suddenly, she felt as if she was too high up “Don’t worry, I will help you” He offered, probably sensing her fear “Ok, but careful... I'm heavy” He rolled his eyes and reached for her waist. She held to his shoulders and with a decisive jump she went down, trusting in Kyung Soo, again “You are kind of heavy, but I'm strong” He said, his face too close to hers. His voice had gotten a little lower and almost sultry. She couldn’t speak even if she tried to say something back to him. He let go over her waist, taking her own hands from his shoulders was harder than she thought. His shoulders were wide, slightly damp, and hot thanks to the sun that fell on his back. The same sun that tanned his skin so beautifully. He looked at her entertained, his left eyebrow slightly raised. She let go of him as if burned “What now?” She asked, looking around distracting herself, still feeling his hands on her waist “Let’s go inside so I can call my friend with the tow and maybe eat something” “Yes please, I am starving” Kyung Soo’s house was small but very cozy. Minimal furniture, a couple of pictures hanging on the walls, very warm and clean. There was a delicious smell lingering in the air. Apparently, Kyung Soo was a cooker “I’m going to warm some food for us, and you should go clean those scratches” He showed her where the bathroom was and gave her the first aid kit. The scratches weren’t that bad. They stung like hell when she cleaned them, but that was the alcohol fighting the forest bacteria.   When she came back to the kitchen, Kyung Soo was serving two plates of food, humming along with some melody “I have good news and bad news” He told her as she sat at the table “Good news, my friend can bring your car, bad news, he isn’t going to be able to get here till 6” “Well that’s not really bad news. I mean not unless I’m bothering you, then I guess there’s a road I can follow back? Maybe find a ride?” “No more talk about walking, we are quite high in the mountain, you are going to have to walk at least an hour to reach the main road, I would recommend for you to enjoy your food, and wait here for the tow” There was no way she would say no to that. Not only because she didn’t feel like walking an hour, but also, because she felt like staying with him for a little while. Again, intuition. But she needed more than intuition no know him. So she began asking questions. Kyung Soo was the estate manager of a property in the vicinity. He managed over hundreds of acres, dozens of employees working a variety of jobs for it. He was one of those strange people that loved his job, and spoke about it with sparks in his eyes. Lucky guy. When she complimented his house, he looked very pleased. She quickly added how much she enjoyed the food, earning her a shy shake of his head looking down at his hands. Adorable. They were done with their lunch by two. Kyung Soo’s roasted chicken was incredible “I have to go and untie my dog, want to come?” He asked her after cleaning the table. She said yes, not that she had anything else to do “Is your dog like your horse? You know, picky with people” “No, but even if he was, you would have a good chance of him liking you, right?” He commented, raising an eyebrow. They went to the front of the house where his dog, Baekhyun, was waiting for him, wagging his tail. Baekhyun was a big German Sheperd with large pointy ears, fluffy hair, and big paws “Why do you keep him tied up?” “When I go to the forest I can’t take him with me, he goes nuts, if he smells a rabbit he runs behind the trail not thinking about anything, then Chanyeol gets nervous and it’s a mess, sorry buddy but that’s just how it is” He told him sweetly as he released him from the chain.  Baekhyun jumped on his owner, giving him some licks, and then looked in her direction locking eyes with her. Kyung Soo tried to stop him, but Baekhyun was already jumping on her.

Kyung Soo walked her around his small farm, showing her with proudness his small orchard and the coop he had just built for his chickens. He looked at her smiling widely when she made a big deal about how cool he was for being able to build a tiny house for his chickens “Well, I built a big one too” He said, pointing at his house “I didn’t do it all by myself, but I built my home” She was stunned with how incredibly sexy that was. Men didn’t build houses anymore “You are like a Bowerbird” She commented as a chicken begging pecking her shoelaces “Bowerbird? The ones that build houses to attract their mate?” “Yeah, that one” He looked up pensive as she tried to reach for the chicken that was playing with her shoe “Who am I trying to mate with?” It was too soon for her to know if he was joking or asking seriously. But she knew she wanted to keep joking because a good laugh is a good flirt “Maybe that Hulder you were talking about earlier” The chicken was gone, so she was able to focus her eyes on him now. He already had his eyes on her, and a playful grin on his lips. He didn’t say anything, only smiles. But when he winked at her, she knew he was hers.

After walking her around his farm, showing her his adorable animals, the tow arrived with her car. He invited his friend over but he excused himself saying he had to go back to work. She had to bit her tongue when his friend introduced himself as Chanyeol. And only when he was gone, she asked Kyung Soo the obvious “You named your horse after your friend?” “Yes, he hated it, so mission accomplished” “What about Baekhyun?” “Same, although this friend liked the fact that I called my dog after him, because Baekhyun was a gift from him” She commented on how sweet that was “I was trying to annoy him too, but it backfired, and he made it worst saying that now he feels like he is here to take care of me” “Kyung Soo, that’s adorable” He grunted and walked back inside his house with Baekhyun following his steps.

After eating a small snack, she prepared her things and got ready to leave. Kyung Soo followed her to her car like the gentleman she was sure he was “Thank you so much for your help Kung Soo, and thank you for entertaining me, I had a great time” He held the door car opened for her so she could get in “Well, you already know where I live and how to get here” “Are you inviting me back?” “The door is always open and help is always welcomed” He commented looking around his land “Then I will come next weekend, I'm not joking” “Me neither” She got inside her car, smiling at him, a bit disappointed that she had to leave “I’m really coming next week, I’m going to be here by lunch” She said looking up to see Kyung Soo with an amused grin looking down at her “Go ahead, should I prepare the guest room?” “Sure, if you don't want to share your bed” She groaned internally. That was a bit too much, she knew it. But Kyung Soo was laughing “What can I bring you?” She asked him over the sound of her car “Bring wine, I'm going to cook” She felt a little jump in her tummy “Sounds great! Goodbye Kyung Soo, have a good week”             “Goodbye Hulder” She was really digging that name, although she still needed to know what a Hulder was. On her way home, she had to stop at the gas station for gasoline and a bottle of water. As she waited in line to pay, she remembered her homework. Searching for what in the world was a Hulder. She clicked the first link she saw:

-  A Hulder is a seductive forest creature. Appearing frequently as a beautiful alluring female, with long, golden hair, Hulder lives in the mountain or the forest. A number of stories recount the experience of encounters with these beings, leaving deep traces in the human mind. Many legends talk about a lonely guy at the shieling, in the forest shanty or at coal mine, encountering the alluring and bewitching hulder. She may very well appear as the man's wife's or fiancé, if he has any, and often her visit leads to sexual encounters” She read that twice, just to be sure. “The Hulder lures men into the forest to have sex with her, rewarding those who satisfy her and often killing those who don't. If one decided to kidnap a human, they'd be used for sex. Those who had sex with the Hulder would often become mentally insane or die” 

She had to read that sentence twice too. She was glad Kyung Soo told her to search what a Hulder was, because it would have been mortifying to hear everything she had just read, from him. She appreciated the carefulness and was intrigued by the comparison. She was sure he wasn’t implying anything. The connection was almost too basic, the Hulder was a woman that lived in the forest, and she was a woman that got lost in the forest. And that was about it. But she was digging the idea of being called after a forest creature that fucked man to madness.

--

She spent the entire week wondering if she should go. Did Kyung Soo remember his invitation? Was he really inviting her or he was just being polite? Did she have any reason to go? The image of him winking at her flickered in her head, and she had her answer. She had a reason to go. She needed to see if that pull that she felt from him, that comfort, that intuition, was something, or just her hormones. Or could be both. But she needed to see. Also, his house was gorgeous, and she wanted to see his animals again, and that river that she only got to hear. She wanted that feeling again. Expectation, comfort, and easy fun. She was having a bit of trouble remembering Kyung Soo’s face to the detail, but she could remember his voice and how things felt around him. So that Saturday morning she got up early, went to the supermarket, and then took the highway and drove the hour and a half that separated her city from Kyung Soo’s town. But when living one’s life, there has to be a balance between craziness and protection. She could be her wild self, but she needed to protect her existence on some level. So before driving up the mountain to Kyung Soo’s house, she stopped at the town’s supermarket. She bought some candies for the snack bag in her car and a bottle of water. The girl behind the register great her happily, and after the formalities, she asked her “Can you help me? To get to the mountain, I have to go back and take the other road right?” “Yes, follow that road, and at the first entrance turn to your right, then is just one way up? You are going to one of the camping sites?” “No, I’m visiting my friend Kyung Soo” She answered, looking at the girl, so she could remember her face. But she was shocked when she saw some clear signs of discomfort on the cashier's face “Oh, yes I know him, you are going to the estate?” “No, to his house” She nodded, pulling a smile on her lips, back to her professional self “Have a good day then” She grabbed her bag and waved the girl goodbye. The exchange had been strange, but now someone knew where she was. So if Kyung Soo ended up being a psycho and she disappeared, they would be able to follow her trail. The safe thing to do was probably not go to the mountains, to the house of a man she barely knew. But where was the fun there?

The engine of her car took the drive up the mountain better than she expected. Of course, she was extremely careful so it wouldn’t overheat. Although the day was very hot, she kept the AC off and stopped a couple of times to let the engine cool off. She would probably need to change her car for a car that can take mountains. She shook her head, surprised with her line of thoughts. Why would she need a new car to drive to Kyung Soo’s house? Why would she keep visiting him? She hasn’t even spoken to him since that day. Because in a very dumb move from her side, she didn’t ask for his number. But he invited her, she told him when she was going to be there. There was nothing else to discuss.

The gates of his house were open, so she just drove inside, announcing her arrival by honking her horn. The first one to appear was Baekhyun, who dashed to her car barking but shaking his tale. Immediately after him, appeared Kyung Soo and she could swear she felt her crutch jump in excitement when she saw his new hairstyle. His head was completely shaved. If she didn’t control herself she was going to take him right there, on the hood of her car. But she was a responsible, mature adult who could control her primal needs. Kyung Soo reached her car, smiling widely and holding Baekhyun to his side. She took a couple of deep breaths and went out of her car “I was waiting for you” He said, taking a step closer “I’m a woman of my word” “I can see that” He held her stare for a little too long, steering things inside her, again “You look different” She commented, throwing herself a lifesaver. Kyung Soo lowered his eyes, as she expected, and rubbed his bald head looking shy “There was a heatwave this past week and my hair was annoying me, so I shaved it” He kept rubbing his head, as if he was bragging about the fact that he could do it, but not her “It looks damn great Kyung Soo” He chuckled, still looking embarrassed “Well, is not going to last a lot, my hair grows really fast” “Really? How so? My hair grows really, really slow” Kyung Soo didn’t answer her question. He only gave her a naughty grin, keeping his secret to himself.

Kyung Soo praised her for her wine choice. Since she didn’t know what they were eating, she played it safe and brought a bottle of white and red wine. The red `wine went great with the amazing Zucchini and tomato penne he prepared. All with vegetables from his orchard, he announced proudly. It was a light meal, but so full of flavor, that it was hard to keep down the amount of pleasure the first bite gave her. Lunch went on comfortably. Kyung Soo took a special interest in how she dealt with the guy from the tourist agency. When she told him how harsh were the words she used with him, Kyung Soo threw his head back, laughing loudly. She looked at him with a wide smile. She liked to make cute boys laugh, so of course, she enjoyed making him smile.

Only after lunch, things went out of control for her. Inside her. Upstairs and downstairs. Maybe it was the wine and the food and how her stomach was processing it, but she began feeling dizzy around him. Because since she arrived, she only paid attention to him. That tiny bit of sauce on the corner of his mouth, and the way he closed his lips around the fork. But those were innocent stares. Kyung Soo had the bright idea of finishing some work that he had to do in front of her. He needed to chop some wood for a small food project he had. He shared with her, very excitedly, about how rich, flavor-wise, was smoking a pig with certain woods. Her only knowledge about pigs was that if you want to eat one, you go to the supermarket. But Kyung Soo liked doing it the hard way. So now, he was chopping wood for this cooking project. It was a damn torture for her to watch him doing it, and not being able to touch him. The muscles of his arms and back showed proudly under his t-shirt. Not being able to clean the sweat from his forehead as he worked on his wood was incredibly frustrating. They were covered from the sun, but his skin still shined like gold. With a shaved head, his nape looked more appetizing. She laid back on her seat and crossed her legs, getting comfortable to enjoy his little show. She suspected he wasn't doing it on purpose, although she loved the idea of being courted by a young man as he chopped wood with a white t-shirt sticking to his skin. Or maybe he was doing it on porpoise, after all, she didn't know him well. She didn’t know if he was conscious of how attractive he was. But if he knew, there was no doubt he was an amazing seducer. She was appreciating how well his dark jeans framed his sturdy thighs when he called her name " Hulder, let's go pick up some things for you" "Things? What things?" He walked to her, cleaning his forehead with the hem of his t-shirt. The gesture allowed her to see a set of humble, yet very present abs. She groaned, feeling too hot to do whatever he was proposing. It was summer after all "I have lettuces, cucumbers, and eggplants ready to eat" "Are you giving them to me or do I have to pay?" He chuckled, standing in front of her, still drying his face with his hands. She looked down at his feet, looking for a scape "You have to pay, but not with money" Everything in a conversation was about context and the messenger. Because that same sentence, in any other lips, would have made her skin crawl. But hearing it from his lips made her hopeful "I need to pick up some squash for my cows and sheep, help me with that and in exchange I’m going to give you some products from my orchard” She stood up and followed him, she couldn't refuse. She didn’t particularly like the idea of working under the sun, but the other option was to say no and look like a bitch. And that wasn’t on her road to success. She didn’t work too much. Only pulled the wagon around as Kyung Soo put the enormous squashes and the deep purple eggplants in it. Kyung Soo looked thrilled as he picked the vegetables from the floor. She had several questions about the whole process of growing vegetables, and he answered all of them. As she pulled the wagon with her on their way to the piece of land where his animals were, she shared a thought that came to her head as Kyung Soo gave her a cherry tomato for her to taste “I don’t know about you, but I’m not a particularly religious person, but I don’t know… in this environment, and watching all this gorgeous product from the soil, I can only call them miracles, it feels like a miracle when you see something like this grow from a seed, developing a color, smell, a texture, and a taste, and then giving back a seed so you can repeat the process…I know it's not a miracle, there are work and science behind, but still, it’s just too precious, it feels miraculous” He didn’t answer immediately, so she looked at him, sure that she had made a foolish comment and he was trying not to laugh. But he wasn’t. He was looking at her, a small grin on his lips. It reminded her of the smile he gave her the day they met and she had that overly possessive thought. That day though his expression was one of amusement. Now he looked thoughtful. She had to look away laughing nervously “I have that same thought every single day,” He said. She didn’t look at him, but nodded, glad that they shared the same thought. The nervousness and the soft smiles dissipated with how cute and funny was to watch the cows and sheep eat the squashes. The crunchy noises they made, made her giggle uncontrollably. One of his cows surprised her with how fat she was “She is about to give birth, probably during this week, so make sure to come next weekend to meet her calf, they are so adorable” She promised him that she will.

The light of the sun had changed, ready to set. It was time for her to go. Kyung Soo helped her load her car with all his gifts and followed her as she got inside her car. “ By the way, I searched what a Hulder was?” He moved slightly uncomfortable, resting his left hand on the roof of the car “Should I apologize?” He asked, not looking at her “No, of course not, don’t worry, I liked it actually, never heard about a creature like that, but why did they come out with it?” “To keep people, especially men, away from the forest, no men with good intentions lurkes around the forest by himself” She lifted one playful eyebrow at him “You were walking in the forest by yourself” “Yes, and I ran into you, so lesson learned, also, I wasn’t alone, I was with Chanyeol” “And I’m not hiding a tail under my clothes” He laughed, the sweetest laugh she had ever seen “We will see, it’s getting dark Hulder, have a peaceful drive home” “Thank you for the lovely afternoon Kyung Soo” He lowered his head to her window, more relaxed now “Thank you for the company, are you coming next weekend?” “Of course” He smiled again and took a step away from the car. The roaring of the car made her jolt, breaking the pseudo spelling he always managed to put in her.

Her third Saturday at Kyung Soo’s house was a short visit. She had to leave early due to family matters, so she only stayed until lunch. She felt so frustrated when she got in the car and the sun was still up, burning. The afternoon was long, and she wanted to enjoy it. But there was nothing she could do “Is it too nuts if I come again next week?” “Hulder, I didn't know you could read minds” By her fourth Saturday there, she stopped asking if she could visit again. On her fifth visit, an event made her get greedy and want more. That Saturday was an especially hot one. She arrived at his place at 9 am, and it was already too hot for her. She would’ve rather stayed in the car with the AC on. Kyung Soo was in shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt, his head freshly shaved. But the weather was too hot to lust over his look. He invited her in for a glass of water and then took her to a sitting area under a set of trees “It’s too hot to do anything, so let’s just laze around here” He proposed, getting comfortable “What do you do in heatwave days?” “Just lay down in the shade, reading, drinking, eating…and after lunch, I go to the river” She almost jumped on him “We have to go to the river! Please take me there” “Did you bring a swimsuit?” She shook her head “It’s ok, you can swim in your t-shirt and shorts, let’s go after lunch, right now the sun is just on top of the river, you could get a sunburn” She liked how motherly he sounded. He behaved like that all the time. Always asking how she was doing, if she ate well during the week, how was work and the drive to his place. He was someone who worried about everyone and took care of everyone and everything. And she wasn’t bothered by it at all. She liked it when people took care of her. They spent the whole morning laying on the lounge chairs talking, only interrupted by Baekhyun’s barking. He grilled some chicken and prepared a colorful salad for lunch. Quick and light for the hot day. She was entertaining him with a story from work, getting all his smiles just for her “I can tell you take your untamed personality everywhere” He commented between laughs “Untamed? You think I’m untamed?” “Sounds better than wild” She chuckled, moving her empty plate to the side “Sounds way better than wild, you are right…I guess I do…I try to act like that at least” Kyung Soo did the same with his plate and rested his arms on top of the small table leaning closer to her “You try to act? You are not always like this?” She moved closer too, playing with his feet under the table “I’m not always like this, although I’m not quite sure what you mean by it…but no, I’m always half out of and half in. Sometimes I'm very…untamed and sometimes I’m extremely shy, depends on the day and the company I guess” Kyung Soo shook his head, a small smile on his lips “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you act shy with me” “Of course not, because I don’t feel shy with you, I’m very comfortable” He smiled the way she liked the most. Heart-shaped lips, wrinkly nose, and shyly looking down.

After resting for an hour, Kyung Soo finally took her to the river. Coming out of their shadowy nook was hard, the 4 PM sun was ruthless, but Kyung Soo promised a good reward. And he wasn’t lying. The river appeared in front of her flowing with unrestrained wildness. So fast that it created a fresh breeze. She could see big rocks covering the bottom, bathed by the deep green water. Kyung Soo walked her along the riverside, to a place where the river was deeper and wider, so it moved flowed calmer “Careful, is a bit cold” He shouted at her as she got into the now calm water. And he wasn’t lying. It almost hurt her feet “This water is the melting snow from the mountains, of course, is cold” He told her when she made a snarky comment to him “But you get used to it quickly, look” Kyung Soo got rid of his sandals and pulled off his t-shirt, making her jolt in surprise. She completely forgot men did that. He walked past her, giving her a wink, and got into the water. She didn’t have enough time to appreciate his half-naked body, but for what she could see, all the work at the farm paid off. He came out screaming, the water covering half of his chest “ It’s so fucking cold!” She erupted in laughter, taking a couple of steps into the deepest part, closer to him “ What a gutter mouth ” “Come here, it’s cold, but it’s delicious” He went under the water again and came out floating on his back. She really wanted to go closer, more for him than the water. She just wanted a closer look. The water was already covering her shorts, and Kyung Soo was right, it got better. He floated to her side, and stood in front of her, offering her his hands “Come on, let me help you” She accepted his help, holding to his hands as he walked backward pulling her with him “I can’t believe this is the first time you are bringing me here” “You are right, I guess we never have enough time” He stopped walking when the water was already covering just under her chest “No, we don’t, a day is too short” “Yeah, and when you are entertained it goes away faster” Kyung Soo didn’t let go of her hands, so she just played with his fingers under the water “You have a good time with me Kyung Soo?” “Yeah, a very good time” He answered with confidence “I’m glad” By now her body had familiarized itself with the cold water and it only felt refreshing. At least the parts of her body that were underwater. She wanted to swim like Kyung Soo and sink her head under the water. The rocks shine in the bottom of the river, calling her, and she looked around, amazed by the sound that surrounded her and the comfort that held her hands. She looked back at Kyung Soo, who was looking back at her with an amused smile “You can swim?” He asked her “I can” “Go ahead then” He let go of her hands slowly and took a couple of steps back. She took a deep breath and went down, no hesitation.

After some laps across the peaceful river, she rested floating on her back, watching the trees above her and hearing the sound of the water. She heard Kyung Soo calling her name over the sound of the water. She ignored it first, just to hear him call her again, but answered after the third call “I think I was wrong, you are not a Hulder, you are a mermaid” “A river mermaid? Is that a thing? … How long I’ve been swimming?” “About an hour maybe, I like watching you have fun, but aren’t you cold?” She wasn’t cold, but she was pretty tired. But it was still hot up there, and the river was fresh. Kyung Soo offered her another option. They walked down the riverbank, holding their shoes in their hands, and their clothing stuck to their bodies. At least hers, because Kyung Soo was still shirtless, sharing with her those nice shapes that hard labor gave him. Kyung Soo took her to a shallower part of the river, the water only covered up her ankle. The stones were a bit slippery, so she held to his arm as they walked across the river “There’s a natural pool there, it appeared this past winter, we can rest there” Between a bunch of big rocks, there was indeed a round pool as big as a jacuzzi, and a bit deeper than a kids pool. Tiny rocks covered the bottom, making the water clear. Kyung Soo sat down and the water covered his legs and waist. She followed him and sat next to him. A big rock behind them was good enough to rest their backs. They laid down as if the cold water was an actual hot bath. Kyung Soo was lying back comfortably, his hands resting on his stomach and his eyes closed, as the sunlight played on his face. She took that opportunity to stare at him shamelessly. Not that she didn’t steal looks of his naked chest and back as they were swimming. But now he was closer, so now she could have a full look of his whole being. Which didn’t happen very often. She focused on his nose and lips, two mounds that rose from the soft line of his profile. The straight line of his nose bent cutely on the tip of his nose. She wanted to bop it. His lips distracted her from her childish fantasy when he licked them, sighing softly. He didn’t open his eyes, so she kept looking.  A set of beauty marks caught her attention. Three light beauty marks in his upper lip, so subtle that she could only see them clearly now that she was sitting close, so close. She was holding her breath. A loud squawk came from the trees above them, waking Kyung Soo from his slumber. She was caught red-handed staring at him. She wasn’t embarrassed, but it felt a bit scary. If Kyung Soo showed discomfort for being stared at like that, she didn’t know how to redeem herself. How not to look like a creep. But he only blinked and turned his face closer to hers “You have a mole on your lips” She said, trying to ease the tension, but failing. He hummed, a low noise that made her shiver, and nodded as his eyes went to her lips “It's very pretty” She tried again, failing “Thanks” Kyung Soo, magnetic as always, was pulling her even closer just by looking at her. She was about to kiss those moles, and the thought made her feel the familiar vibration of excitement. She was moving her hand up, to hold his face, when they heard loud splashing and grunts. They both snapped their heads in the direction of the sound and saw Baekhyun running along the river in their direction. He had free himself from the chain and was now a very non-welcomed dog. Kyung Soo grunted under his breath and stood up, holding him before he could lunge his German Shepard body onto her. The moment was dead and buried under cement. She stood up too and followed them out of the river. It was getting cold anyway. Kyung Soo was standing a couple of steps away from her as she tried to squeeze some water out of her t-shirt. Kyung Soo called her name with a calm voice, she almost missed it over the sound of the river “I bet you have broken a bunch of hearts” He said, smiling, but she knew he wasn’t trying to be funny. And she was going to be honest “Never on porpoise” Because she had a story, she wasn’t going to lie, but she held every break up with honesty and care. She knew what she wanted and when someone wasn’t going to give it to her, she let them go. He chuckled, clearly pleased with her answer.

Afraid of the awkwardness that the whole situation could bring, she joked as she looked down at her knees “Jesus, I’m dripping, people are going to think that I pee myself” Kyung Soo laughed loudly and turned around, looking at her “Gross” She laughed and walked next to him. Baekhyun gave her an innocent look, wagging his tail. But she couldn’t find him cute. He was more like an enemy now. As soon as they arrived at his house, she changed her clothes and then hanged her wet clothes to dry under the sun. From her t-shirt to her underwear. Just outside Kyung Soo’s kitchen. The water made them both hungry, so they ate chicken and bread as the sun began setting. It was time for her to go, and she felt the weight of the frustration in her chest. It was all Baekhyun’s fault. As always, he gifted her a basket with an assortment of different vegetables and fruits and walked her to the car. She knew how frustrated she looked. She was never good at hiding her feelings, so she didn’t even bothered. Her shoulders were low and her voice too. But Kyung Soo was the same as always, a smile on his lips all the time. She knew, or at least was very sure, that this attraction was shared. But clearly, he was dealing better with it. She could just go and kiss him, she was frontal like that, but again, she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable “I’m leaving then, thanks for everything, and thank you for that visit to the river, I loved it” “No need to thank me, I had a great time” Since she didn’t want to leave, she kept making small talk. Stupid questions and silly comments. Kyung Soo answered and listened patiently. She knew it could be annoying, but he didn’t seem to care. He was glancing at her lips the whole time while she was talking, which was making her extremely nervous and impatient. She was running out of sentences to form, so she said goodbye for the second time and turned around, to her car. She could only take one short step when Kyung Soo stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. She heard him call her name softly, and before she could turn around, shortening the distance between them, he passed an arm around her shoulder and made her face him. His body was fully pressed against her, his face so very close to hers. Her ears were buzzing, and the air was stuck in her throat. Kyung Soo grabbed her face and didn’t even bother with asking for permission. He didn’t need to. She was sure he knew that much since her hands were already holding to his waist. She welcomed his touch with eager lips when Kyung Soo captured her lower lip between his own. He sucked on it, pulling her closer. She could feel his chest through their clothing and his hand guiding her face with a bit of dominance. It was cozy and incredibly hot at the same time. She tilted her head, asking, begging for more. More lips, more tongue, more touch. Kyung Soo began biting at her lips playfully, his fingers tangled between her tousled hair, kipping her close to him. She did the same, making him chuckle, but not breaking the kiss. She moved her hands from his waist, sliding them over his chest, up to his neck, and grabbed his nape, capturing him. Kyung Soo came up for air just as she was starting to get way too handsy. He gave her a last peck and took a short step back. He looked at her grinning, waiting for her response. If he was expecting a blush and a giggle he was going to get that, but also an attitude "You waited until now to kiss me" She chided. His big eyes grew rounder for a second, but then softened when he noticed she was just being feisty and not really mad at him “I couldn't find the right moment before” He explained, caressing her cheeks as he moved his eyes over her face “When you sat behind me on your horse was a great moment” Kyung Soo looked shocked for a couple of seconds, followed by a shy laugh “Why did you do that just when I was leaving?!, We could have made out the whole day" Her voice was filled with disappointment, which made him bring her closer in a hug "It's funnier like this" "It's not" She mumbled against his chest "Go, you are going to meet traffic if you don't " "Kiss me again" She made it sound like a plea, but it was a command. She needed another kiss "No" He was unable to control his playful smile "I'm going to do it then" She circled his neck with her arms, bringing his face to hers. Kyung Soo didn’t resist. She caught his lower lip between her lips, sucking on it lightly, finally doing something she imagined way too many times before in her head. Kyung Soo answered back tangling his fingers in her hair. With each little trick of her lips, Kyung Soo growled softly, fueling her. She wasn’t only enjoying his kiss, but also how her pounding heart reverberated through her chest and how her limbs tingled with his touch. Kyung Soo was the first to move away, showing way more control than her, but he didn’t let her go and hugged her closer to him "Dear God Hulder, you better be here on Saturday morning" He whispered against her temple “I can make it Friday afternoon” He kissed her cheek and released her from his embrace  “Drive carefully then, I will be waiting for you” “Should I bring an overnight bag?” “You should, and a swimsuit” She held his hand, and walked to her car bringing him with her. She wanted a goodbye kiss. Kyung Soo held the door open for her and closed it when she was seated inside. She opened the window, and he came closer, leaning in through the car window “Drive carefully” “I will, give me your number so I can tell you when I’m home” Kyung Soo’s eyes went comically wide “That’s right, we haven’t exchanged numbers yet” She couldn’t stop laughing as she searched for her phone. Hopefully, it was still charged, forgotten inside her car. She handed it to Kyung Soo, who smiled when he saw a close-up of Chanyeol as her screen saver. He saved his number as -Do Kyung Soo- in her phone. It felt very formal “I had an amazing day Hulder” “Me too Kyung Soo, started great, and it ended amazingly, by the way, when did you want to kiss me?” “Ah right, you said when I helped you at the forest…well for me it was when you said that my vegetables were miracles”  He gave her a shy smile and leaned in for a goodbye kiss. She held his cute face and gave him a long peck on the lips and one on each cheek. He giggled happily and took a couple of steps back so she could leave. Driving home was a mixture of frustration for having to leave him, but happiness overall since finally her feeling for her were able to fly free. Her music was playing loud in her car, windows down and one arm resting in the window playing with the wind. Pure bliss. As soon as she arrived home, she texted him and he answered back immediately. The texting didn’t end until very late that night. And before falling asleep she imagined all the things she wanted to do, starting from Friday, at Kyung Soo’s home. But mostly, all the things she wanted to do to him.

[danielleasbureaucouk]

So we went away for a weekend break to do the Black Diamond tour at Wentworth Woodhouse, followed by afternoon tea in the long gallery.

To fill the other day of the weekend, Friday and Monday travelling, we went to Bolsover Castle and Newstead Abbey.

We have been to Bolsover before, which was just as well, as we got stuck in Chesterfield, arrived late and had to rush the place in order to get to Newstead on time. Should have just done the latter instead, as we didn't really savour Bolsover and it was quite busy.

Newstead was interesting, but tainted by the mood, quarrels and tension it took to get to Bolsover and the daily fight over the sat nav. Fight over who has the right way extended into gardens which didn't help.

Sunday was Wentworth and the sat nav route planned out to avoid Chesterfield. Netflix had been filming at Wentworth and some rooms were still dressed. Not allowed to say what it is about or who is in it, but it sounds interesting and I shall try to watch it when it is on.

Rained at the end so we couldn't do the gardens properly. Tea was nice, especially the deserts and sausage / veg rolls, but the finger sandwiches could have been better.

Played Scrabble every night at the holiday house, which, as you can see from my earlier post, has at least two peacocks. They have a farm too, which meant we got the same amount of sleep as we do at home. Not sure which is worst, traffic, or farms and peacocks.

Scrabble was fine until the last night, when father and mother took ages to go, then complained about how long I took on one round so I ended up passing and losing. Mother was constantly biting her cuticles in front of me and talking about things, which didn't help thinking of words to use.

Holiday cottage is a bit tired in some places, a bit too pretentious posh in the bathrooms. Mother appreciates the thoughtful nature of the aesthetic. No notes on housekeeping before we leave so mother will hover. She was surprised when I said we wouldn't stay here again, even when I reminded her of the noisy farm that kept us awake.

I don't really feel this has much of a holiday, with my father being stressed and irritable about driving anyway, mother moaning about my l as the grandfather and his former partner screwing us over, that she has to go back to work, singing due to words we say, biting her cuticles, stressing about cleaning the place before we leave, brutal truth that's a dig at me using too much product in my because I use hair food in my hair that's white, when I comment that my hair feels a static, ratty mess. She had no objection to the clear stuff that ran out way too soon, because it was clear. Trying to reassure me about the potential new place that we can change our minds about moving, yet stressing the amount of money we will lose and yet we're preparing stuff for moving anyway. Doing the same concerning my new glasses that I've stopped wearing because they were making my eyes worse, no concern on getting glasses that work properly.

[mithrilhearts]

Also what scene do you love the most in May Your Forge Burn Bright?

This is a really tough question, there are so many scenes in MYFBB that make me so happy (I've been rereading this fic A LOT recently), so it's really a toss up between two specific scenes - Both of which have lovely artwork by @stardryad!

I'll put this under the cut because I'm absolutely adding in part of those scenes I love so much.

-> Want to know what I 💕love💕 about my fics? Check out these asks!

Scene #1 - Northern Lights & Fireflies (Star's art!)

The build up of a very romantic moment between these two characters made me proud to write. I'm not putting the whole scene here as it's super long, but here's a part that was nice (even if we really just wanted them to kiss right after)

Idle chatter and blowing smoke rings was nice and all, but as time went on it was interrupted by a different kind of light that didn’t come from the sky. A single flicker of gold. A firefly, one of nature’s most beautiful creatures. That one firefly landed on the edge of Bilbo’s pipe. Steadily moving the pipe from his mouth and eyeballing the firefly, both he and Thorin seemed rather focused on the bug that continued to flicker brightly. “Well, would you look at that…”

“You’ve made a friend.”

Bilbo had made more than just one friend that was present, at the very least.

“I’ve always loved fireflies, ever since I was a little fauntling. I used to chase them every evening until mother and father would call me home. I always wanted to follow them, to see exactly where they went whenever the day was done.” Bilbo sighed a bit, still eyeballing the single firefly that continued to crawl around his pipe.

“You never followed them?” It was an easy assumption for Thorin to make, but he too had a love for the little creatures. Perhaps his was a little sadder, or funnier depending on how you looked at it, but they were truly magical.

“No, I guess I just…” A snort came from the hobbit, watching as his new firefly friend took off. “...I was afraid of what they might lead me to. Mother spoke fondly of them. She said they would lead us to...” Bilbo trailed as his hazel eyes watched the firefly as it flickered before landing on Thorin’s bracer as the dwarf’s hands were propped on his knees.

“To where?”

A rush of red emerged onto Bilbo’s cheeks, burning the tips of his ears like fire. His fingers tightened on his pipe as he studied the firefly on Thorin’s bracer, dropping his chin to his knees that he’d pulled up closer to his chest. “Our greatest desires,” Bilbo breathed out, not willing to spare Thorin a proper glance.

- read the rest of chapter 7 here!

Scene #2 - Love Declarations (Star's art!)

Honestly, I don't think I need to explain this one. FINALLY these two got it right. Of course it happened after a misunderstanding that was nearly the end of the two of them as Bilbo was trying to leave Ered Luin, but it all worked out in the end!

With his eyes screwed closed so tightly and keeping a sleeve over his face to protect himself from the rain, Bilbo didn’t see the oncoming form that got a firm grip on the front of his waistcoat and yanked him forward several paces and out of the way with a mighty yelp. It almost felt as if a wild animal had gotten a hold of him and Bilbo immediately tried to scramble, but the loud sound of part of a tree hitting the ground behind him had him prying open his eyes. Not to mention, he had been enveloped into a grip he was only vaguely familiar with.

Hazel eyes tried to fight against the rain, but the water stopped for just a moment as a coat was being held over his head to block some of the weather, and it allowed Bilbo to look at what could have been his end. Being crushed under the force of falling branches...and yet…? “Thorin!” How? Why? Did Bilbo actually get knocked around so hard that he was stuck in a dream?

No, dreams didn’t feel that warm.

“You’re a foolish creature and should know better than to storm off by yourself!” Thorin scolded over the howling of the wind, a scowl to his face as he looked just as Bilbo remembered whenever these moods struck the dwarf. Unpleasant. “You could have been killed, I promised to keep you safe…” And Thorin would not let that promise fall through.

“You came for me…” Bilbo murmured, though unable to be heard over the sounds of rain and wind. Thorin’s coat might have acted as a decent enough shield against the actual rainwater, but it was nothing for the sounds. “I was on my way back! I needed to apologize for what I said, and I’m not sure how else I can express that. From the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry-”

“Maralmizu, Bilbo."

Bilbo’s ears twitched before dropping. Now was not the time for secrecy, they could play that game once they were out of this vicious weather. Not to mention, Bilbo had been trying to give a heartfelt apology. An annoyed huff came from the hobbit as he continued to stare at Thorin, caring less and less about thunder and lightning as the seconds ticked by. “What does that even mean, Thorin?” Though asking a dwarf to reveal their secrets was like trying to move a mountain with your bare hands.

“I love you,” Thorin was far gentler this time than the scolding he had started with, staring at Bilbo’s wide hazel eyes. “And I have for some time now and just...too afraid to say it. Too afraid that being me might scare you off, and it did...but I-”

“Oh, you really are a stupid dwarf!” That bold Tookish behavior was finding its way to the surface once more, no longer hiding in fear from a few unsavory blokes from Bree. Wrapping his hands around both of Thorin’s braids and standing on his toes, it didn’t take much guidance from Bilbo’s small tug for their lips to meet with eyes fluttering closed.

It felt like a missing piece had finally been slotted into place.

- read the rest of chapter 9 here!