#it was like. he was fully into the emotional depth & it was like he understood everything her music stood for & all of the lyrical meanings

[chronicdelusionistsart]

So I have been watching Danny Phantom for the first time ever with my friends and I'd kind of previously known about its reputation as a show whose fanbase dives a lot more into the lore than the show is willing to. And I guess I hadn't really understood why until now (I just finished Season 2!). Here's my sort of rambling thoughts on it.

Danny Phantom isn't a show about the horror of ghosts and the dead coexisting in the human realm. It's a show about dropping the most out of pocket lore implications you can imagine on people who in turn say things that would kill a therapist dead equally out of pocket, and then neither are addressed but the watcher has to live with the ghost of the plot that is right behind them but they can't turn around.

DP is a little hit and miss in places, but the very thing that drives people nuts about it is actually I think maybe its greatest strength: it really pulls off show, don't tell effectively. How much of that is intentional is up for debate, but the best episodes kinda leave you wondering, or sputtering like "UH, HEY, BACK UP - HEY BACK UP AND UNPACK THAT -" Is Danny's human body technically alive somehow, or is he a walking corpse? Does Danny have a door in the Ghost Zone? Were Vlad's clones feeling and sentient as they melted into ectoplasm, despite Danny's guess that they weren't? What does it say about Danny that he still erased his parents' memories after finding out they'd accept him as he is?

I think the genius of not answering these questions directly is that it's both funnier AND scarier not to. We can laugh about how fucked up it is and kinda hold our heads like "bro.... did they really just imply that, holy shiiiiiit", and that's really consistent with the emotional core of the show as this knife's-edge dance between teen comedy and horror superhero. Fully explaining the lore or being more direct about how the information is conveyed by and to the characters tips that balance and changes the show into something else, for better or for worse. And I really earnestly like it as it is, even if it's very of its time (sexism.......)! It's a really fun show with some depth to it.

Anyway, I can't wait to watch season 3! I sure hope all these wonderful qualities I like about it hold up!

[tojisun]

i want simon to love you so strongly, he doesn't even know what exactly it is he's feeling.

it is so intense, he cannot even sleep nor eat nor sit in silence anymore. you plague his thoughts day in and day out, filling every second of his day with this vitriolic turmoil.

the first time he realized it was not a passing feeling, simon felt the desire to...lash out, somehow. to get angry. to come to you and snarl questions—what have you done to me?—because he knows that this wouldn't have happened if he never met you. if your paths just never crossed.

if simon was just never interested.

he should have known, then, that his fleeting interest would turn into something bigger than he is, twisting into something that he cannot manage because simon has always been quick to get addicted to many things—ferocious in his hunger, gums twitching with need.

simon still does not know how to take everything in moderation so he’s turned to snuffing out his desires; to containing them until they sit there, buried underneath his ribs and flesh.

but this one with you cannot be buried. it cannot be ignored. it grows every single day, swelling with fangs and tearing into his veins—he bleeds for you, every morning that he climbs from the depths of his raging restlessness—until he is left feeling lost. untethered.

so tell him: what have you done to him?

(the words do not even get to fully leave his mouth, not with his emotions bubbling into strings that pull at him.

next thing he knows is that he has pushed you against the wall, and claimed your lips in a feverish kiss.

simon devours the sounds you make—every hiccupped breath, every gasped out mewl, every stutter of his name. he devours it all because it is all he can gulp from you for now; the sweetness of your passion weaves with his own, and he is dizzy with his affections.

you don't tell him to stop, instead, you beg him for more; crystals of your tears cling to your lashes, and simon is in awe of how much softer you are compared to him. how tender you truly are, all putty in his arms, sniffling with your uncontainable pleasure. with your own raging feelings.

simon feels seen, like this with you. he feels understood.)

[lotuswish]

˗ˏˋ what loving you feels like to them (pt. 7 - diasomnia) 𓆩𓆪 .ᐟ

synopsis: have you ever wondered what falling in love feels like for each twisted wonderland boy? this series explores love from their perspective— how their personalities, experiences, and desires shape what loving you means to them.

featured character(s): malleus draconia, lilia vanrouge, sebek zigvolt, silver.

content warning(s): none.

a/n: woo, the final part of this series! after two months of writing, rewriting, proofreading, and endlessly nitpicking, it’s finally complete and posted—feels good to wrap this up! what loving you feels like to them might occasionally use the same words, but those words mean something a little different for each of them. it might sound familiar, but it's still their own!

(pt. 1 - scarabia) (pt. 2 - savanaclaw) (pt. 3 - heartslabyul) (pt. 4 - ignihyde) (pt. 5 - pomefiore) (pt. 6 - octavinelle) (pt. 7 - you are here)

malleus draconia

loving you feels like a paradox to malleus draconia—both a yearning ache and a soothing balm, a forbidden fruit and the sweetest blessing he never dared to imagine for himself. it’s a sensation so foreign yet so natural, like finding a home in a place he never knew existed. for someone who has lived centuries surrounded by grandeur yet plagued by solitude, loving you is both the most terrifying and the most precious experience of his life.

he has lived a life of solitude, surrounded by awe but never companionship, respect but never intimacy. his world is vast, his power nearly limitless, but it has always felt empty, a hollow kingdom with no one to share it with. loving you feels like standing in a darkened hall and suddenly seeing it bathed in light. it is warmth where there was only cold, music where there was silence. you bring him into a world of emotions he never thought he’d have, filling his existence with vibrancy and depth.

malleus has always been feared, revered, and set apart—kept at arm’s length by the weight of his power and status as the heir to briar valley’s throne. loving you feels like unlocking a door that had always been closed, revealing a world he never thought he could enter. you treat him not as a king, a fae, or a being of immense power, but as simply malleus. the way you meet his gaze without fear, laugh in his presence, and speak to him as an equal fills the void within him he never even fully understood. your love is a bridge between his world and a life of connection he thought was forever out of reach.

but loving you is also a quiet fear, one that coils in the depths of his heart. you are fragile, mortal, fleeting. he knows that time, the same force that has shaped him and his long life, will inevitably seek to take you away. this knowledge makes every moment with you feel both infinitely precious and heartbreakingly finite. it makes his love intense, protective, and almost reverent. he finds himself holding you closer, memorizing every detail, every breath, as though he can somehow defy the inevitable with sheer will.

loving you feels like the answer to a question he’s been asking for centuries, a fulfillment of a longing he could never put into words. it’s bittersweet and overwhelming, but it’s a gift he cherishes beyond anything else. you are his greatest treasure, not because you belong to him, but because you choose him. and he, in turn, chooses you—fully, completely, and forever.

lilia vanrouge

loving you feels like eternity to lilia vanrouge—a thread woven into the centuries of his long life, yet distinct and irreplaceable in its brilliance. it’s a reminder of the beauty in fleeting moments, something he’s come to cherish after watching so much of the world change, break, and fade with time. for someone who has lived longer than most can fathom, loving you feels like a rarity, a spark that rekindles the part of him that thought he had seen it all.

to lilia, love has always been a complex, bittersweet thing. he’s seen how fragile it can be, how it can grow and flourish yet wither all the same. but loving you doesn’t feel like a burden or a fleeting indulgence—it feels like a choice he makes every day, one he makes joyfully. it’s the way you challenge him, intrigue him, and bring a warmth to his heart that he hasn’t felt in ages. loving you feels like finding something entirely new, even in a world he’s walked for centuries.

loving you awakens his playful side even more. he teases you, relishing every laugh, every flustered reaction, and every small moment you share. but beneath his jokes and mischief, there’s a depth to his affection—a steadfastness that reflects the wisdom and loyalty he’s cultivated through the ages. for lilia, love isn’t just passion or fleeting excitement; it’s a quiet certainty, an unshakable bond that weaves itself into his life with a permanence he never thought possible. loving you reminds him that while his life is long, it’s the connections he makes that give it meaning.

there’s also a protectiveness to his love, though it’s never overbearing. lilia understands the fragility of life better than most, and it makes him treasure you even more. he knows that time is fleeting for some, but he refuses to let that deter him. instead, he chooses to savor every moment with you, to live in the present and create memories that will endure in his heart, no matter what.

loving you feels like a song—a melody that lingers long after it’s played, something he hums to himself even when you’re not around. it’s sweet and playful, with notes of melancholy, but above all, it’s unforgettable. loving you is his way of defying the inevitability of time, of saying that no matter how many centuries pass, there are things worth holding onto, and you are one of them.

sebek zigvolt

loving you feels like duty and devotion entwined for sebek zigvolt.

sebek has always lived his life with purpose, driven by an unwavering loyalty to malleus draconia and the ideals of the briar valley. to love someone romantically is an unexpected experience for him—one that initially conflicts with the sense of duty that has defined his existence. yet, loving you doesn’t feel like a betrayal of that duty; instead, it becomes an extension of it. loving you is another cause he throws himself into with all the ferocity of his spirit. it is both a challenge and a privilege, one he approaches with the same intensity and focus that he dedicates to all things important in his life.

to sebek, love is both a challenge and a revelation. it’s not easy for him to reconcile his affection for you with the unyielding focus he’s maintained toward his goals. at first, loving you feels inconvenient, like an unwelcome distraction from his responsibilities. he struggles to understand it, to put it into words, because he has always prioritized duty over personal desires, leaving little room to reflect on his own wants. but the longer he spends with you, the more he realizes that loving you isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength. it pushes him to be better, not just as a knight or a protector, but as a person.

loving you also brings out a side of him he rarely shows—one that is quieter, and deeply earnest. it’s in the way he fumbles over words when he tries to tell you how much you mean to him, the way he blushes fiercely when you catch him staring, and the way he trains even harder because he wants to be someone you can rely on. his love for you is almost overwhelming in its intensity, but it’s also pure and steadfast, a reflection of the unshakable loyalty that defines him.

but loving you is not without conflict. sebek struggles to reconcile his pride and his affection, often fumbling to express his feelings in a way that doesn’t betray his dignity. his words may come out louder or harsher than intended, his actions more grandiose than necessary, because he does not yet know how to soften for you. still, his love is earnest, as unwavering as his loyalty to the draconias. you teach him that love is not about perfection, that it’s okay to be flawed, to grow, and to lean on someone else.

loving you feels like finding balance. it doesn’t take away from his loyalty to malleus or his pride as a knight, but it reminds him that even the strongest warrior needs moments of rest, that even the most disciplined heart deserves happiness. for sebek, loving you is a fire that burns steady and bright, not dimming his resolve but giving it new purpose. you are his anchor and his inspiration, and he loves you with all the intensity of his being.

silver

loving you feels like peace to silver, a quiet but profound warmth that wraps around his heart and stays with him, even in the stillest moments. it is not something he sought out or expected, but something that came naturally, like the first light of day creeping over the horizon. for silver, love is not loud or dramatic; it is calm and unwavering, a feeling that settles deep in his soul and grounds him in a way nothing else ever has. it feels like solace, a rare and precious thing in a life that has always been shaped by duty.

loving you feels like clarity. silver has always lived with a sense of purpose, devoted to his training and his role in protecting malleus draconia. his focus has always been outward, on those he serves, but loving you shifts something inside him. for the first time, he feels like he’s allowed to focus on himself—not in a selfish way, but in a way that makes him realize he is more than his duty. with you, he feels seen for who he is, not just as a knight or a protector, but as a person. and in that, he finds a quiet kind of joy.

but loving you is also vulnerable for him. silver is not used to putting his feelings into words; he is a man of action, not flowery speeches. he shows his love in the way he listens, in the way he instinctively stands closer to you when he senses danger, in the way he remembers the little things that make you happy. for silver, love is something he expresses through quiet gestures rather than grand declarations, but it is no less profound. in fact, it feels deeper because of its simplicity, like an unspoken understanding between you.

loving you feels like balance. silver has always walked the line between the human and fae worlds, a child of both but also of neither. with you, he doesn’t feel like he has to choose. you accept every part of him—the human side that longs for companionship and the disciplined knight who feels an unshakable sense of duty. your love doesn’t ask him to change or to prove himself; it simply asks him to be. and in that, he finds a sense of belonging he didn’t realize he was missing.

for silver, loving you feels like rest. it feels like finding a place where he doesn’t have to stand guard, where he can let his guard down without fear. it’s steady, like the rhythm of his heartbeat when you’re near, and gentle, like the warmth of the sun on his face. it is a quiet love, but it is deep and unshakable, and he treasures it as one would a dream they never want to wake from. with you, silver has found something worth protecting—not out of duty, but out of love.

congrats on making it to the end! if you enjoyed this, likes, comments, follows, and reblogs are always appreciated—they help motivate me to keep creating and sharing!

[faggotswag]

did i tell u guys my dad is a daughter of cain.

[henley-reeves]

People have said many times how Fourteenth Doctor is so much more open with feelings and emotions than Ten. But it is especially huge when it comes to Donna specifically. Ten was so reserved and held back so much when it came to expressing feelings and voicing them, that his companions never fully understood how much they meant to him. Ten was very flawed and very HUMAN and while he had so much love in him, he was equally afraid to express it, show it unabashedly. Did Donna ever truly understand how much he loved her? Did he ever tell her how much she meant to him on screen? When Ten knew he was losing Donna, and she was about to disappear in front of him, he knew this was his last moment with her, and the best he could do while she was conscious is hold her at arm’s length and tell her “We had the best of times”. You could see he was dying inside and this moment is killing him but he NEVER SHOWS it to her. While it’s all in his eyes, Ten still doesn’t tell her anything that would have an emotional weight or reveal the whole depth of his feelings.

Ten kept all his feelings bottled so deep inside, that when they finally started to bleed out, he made the worst mistakes possible. It ended up killing him. And the breaking point was losing Donna. He carried so much guilt over the way he lost her and the way he let her, his best friend in the whole wide universe, down, that it echoed over to the next regenerations, in Eleven’s guilt and Twelve’s face. That scene in the TARDIS in “Let’s Kill Hitler” where Eleven is poisoned, and the TARDIS is showing him images of former companions when Eleven asks “Give me guilt”. The TARDIS shows him Martha first, and there is so much to be guilty about when it comes to Martha, and then Eleven asks for “also guilt”, and the TARDIS shows him Donna, and when Eleven asks for “more guilt”, the image doesn’t change. It is still Donna, TARDIS is showing Eleven the best friend who got let down so hard by the Doctor. And the Doctor still carries that guilt and regret and heartbreak with him, because he loved his best friend and her attachment to him almost got her killed and hurt her in the worst way possible. “Stand too close, and people get burnt”, just like Martha said.

Fourteen though. He is a completely different person. He doesn’t just love Donna, he ADORES her, he is here FOR HER, this face is here BECAUSE OF HER. He tells a complete stranger he just met that he loves his best friend Donna, and repeats it twice.

When Donna honestly asks who would care about her 'cause she thinks she is just no one, Fourteen angrily  cries “I DO!”  because that’s his brilliant and amazing best friend who after all these years still thinks so little of herself and he hadn’t been there to remind her of that, and it is all his fault that she doesn’t remember how fantastic and special and extraordinary she has always been and how many times her brilliance saved worlds and lives, including the Doctor’s.

Fourteen is crying and screaming and breaking down, when he thinks Donna is about to die in front of him, all because he is so afraid of losing her again. Fourteen cradles Donna’s body and cries when he thinks he had lost her and tells the Meep’s soldiers to kill him, because he doesn’t care anymore, because someone he loves so dearly is dead in his arms, and it is all his fault.

When Donna gets her memories back, Fourteen almost immediately confesses how losing her KILLED HIM and how he remembers every second with her. He tearfully confesses that he has missed her for all those years they were apart, it’s been millions of years they spent apart for the Doctor. All those years the Doctor needed Donna who would make him laugh again, Donna who would keep him grounded, Donna who would call him spaceman and silently hug him when he needed it the most, Donna who would understand and be there and be his touchstone and anchor and guiding light.

Fourteen knows that she can’t stay with him forever like she used to want to, but he still gives her both of his hearts and tells her how much he cherishes their time together. He offers her coffee just the way she likes it, he remembers such small details about her after literally thousands, millions of years! And he shows it to her. Fourteen is so full of love and he is not afraid to show it, he is rushing to love, to express it before Donna is gone from his life again. And he is trying to make up for all those years as Ten when he couldn’t say these things to Donna, and she never knew just how much she meant to him. Donna never knew that she was his soulmate, that her presence made such an impact and her absence led to Ten’s death and that he died saving her grandad.

Fourteen kisses Donna’s hands and hair and hugs her like she is the most precious thing he knows. His hugs are also different from Ten’s. Fourteen wraps himself around Donna and holds her tight, this is how he shows his affection. He wants Donna to hear, know AND feel how much he cares. Because he already knows what it’s like to lose her and he wants her to know in case he has to let her go forever again.

When there is a threat of the world ending and his wonderful selfless Donna once again stresses that it is not about her, the Doctor solemnly replies that it really is. Because here right now in mortal danger he is willing to put her first and thinks of her wellbeing before anything else, because Donna Noble means the world to him.

Fourteen loves Donna so much, that he is willing to stay with her forever, staying still is not so bad when it’s with her. Fourteen is so tired and weary and bruised and exhausted but when he looks into Donna’s eyes, he doesn’t feel so tired anymore.

Fourteen got Ten’s face because he needed rest, but also maybe, just maybe, because Ten didn’t want to go so badly that he broke through and got the chance to come back so he could have another chance, to have a life and be with his best friend again and come home. Fourteen was born out of love that Ten had for Donna. And that love (and the TARDIS) brought him right to Donna’s doorstep, so he can hear her call him spaceman again and have the best of times for as long as they live and have a laugh with his family in their shared garden and find out what it’s like to be happy. Fourteen gives his love so openly and freely and he gets to receive it too, he gets to bask in it and revel in it. He finally gets the reward Ten was dreaming about.

[kotoku]

the touden party with an innkeeper! reader

synopsis - The Touden party was not an unfamiliar name to you due to the gossip other parties shared amongst themselves about the siblings and their oddball group. However, you thought the gossip was a bit over dramatic, finding them to be quite the pleasant guests whenever they visited your inn. 

Overtime, you got sucked into their stories from the dungeon floors and even heard how they prepped monster food. Although they weren’t the most normal party you have ever seen, you grew a tight bond with each party member.

pairings - laios x reader / chilchuck x reader / marcille x reader / senshi & reader / izutsumi & reader

warnings - characters may be ooc..

“You guys were able to eat living armor!? That’s so weird but cool!” 

“I know right! You’d think they were inedible, but they actually have a type of mollusk in them!--” 

“--I’ll make sure to bring some up next time so I can show you how we cooked it!”

“Really!? I look forward to tasting it!”

✤✤✤✤

✢ You grew curious of the leader of the Touden party, often finding yourself spending more time with him after dinner to talk about different things

✢ He was so full of personality that you couldn’t help but get drawn in to him– cooking his favorite meals, indulging in his monster facts, and helping him think of different ways some monsters could be cooked

✢ The stories he shared from his encounters in the dungeon often left you wondering, what would it be like if you were part of his party? (You would shake your head to rid of those thoughts, fully knowing that you would be useless if it came to fighting/supporting)

✢ When you heard of Falin’s disappearance and his ambitions, you were distraught yet worried for his well-being– what if he didn’t succeed?

✢ A small part of you wanted to discourage him from the idea, for what if it would be all for nothing? Yet, the larger part of you had hope that he could do it, so you offered your support for him and his party if it meant ensuring their well-being (before they head off)

✢ Considering that they usually spend weeks in the dungeon, you’d often daydream about the tall blond whenever you did your chores

✢ People would catch you lost in the clouds, so you’d quickly become embarrassed when someone would say something

✢ When the time comes for their expected return, you had already set up each room accordingly and prepared a meal for all of them 

 ✢ At some point, when Laios returns, you’d leave a small note and a gift for the man confessing your feelings (he finds it on the bed and thought that you had forgotten it when cleaning it)

✢ Needless to say, Laios wouldn’t be able to look at you, face turning a pretty pink when he’s reminded of your feelings for him

✢ Of course, he expresses his own thoughts and emotions in his own way, so it’d take some time before he approaches you with a determined gleam in his eyes 

✢ In his eyes, he believes that you would make a wonderful partner, your caring attitude making him feel all the more fuzzy

✢ Expect him to be spending a lot of time with you during his stays, as he knows that eventually he’ll have to return back to the dungeon depths

✢ At some point, Laios requests that he sleeps in your room during his stays, which you happily oblige

✢ Whenever he comes back from the dungeon, he always has a gift for you (whether it’s some sort of relic, flower/plant, or ingredient that you two could experiment with)

✢ Eventually, Laios would love to settle down with you after he has gotten his sister back 

“My party members are all idiots, _____.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just look at them! sigh I’ll take another round of ale.”

“Ehh– they seem fine to me, but whatever you say, Chil.”

✤✤✤✤

✢ When you first met Chilchuck.. he was quite the hot-headed yet reliable person, always complaining about certain events that happened during their dungeon run (You hear a lot about his party members lol)

✢ Over time, you understood his behavior and could see that despite his mean words and actions, he really did care for his friends

✢ You really admired his stern yet caring nature, always scolding those closest to him with good intentions

✢ Chilchuck didn’t really give you much attention at first, only treating you with basic human decency

✢ But the more his party stayed at your inn, the more he began to make light conversations with you, slowly evolving into deep and meaningful discussions that would last into the early hours of the morning

✢ He starts appreciating your presence more and more with each visit, offering to help you make dinner, chatting with you as you both cleaned the dishes… It felt rather intimate, doing this domestic things with you

✢ When Chilchuck notices that he’s developing feelings for you, he’s overcome with fear and anxiety 

✢ He wanted to avoid the potential heartbreak, for he knew all too well what it felt like when he and his wife divorced 

✢ Despite his sudden distancing and coldness, you’d probably corner him one night to confront him about his recent behavior

✢ Chilchuck’s resolve would soon crumble, explaining his recent actions and confessing his feelings for you with a downcast gaze (He doesn’t expect you to reciprocate)

✢ To his surprise, you do! 

✢ Chilchuck would definitely come around more often whenever he has the free time, helping you around the inn and recounting recent events that happened while they were exploring the deeper levels of the dungeon…

✢ You’re quite familiar with his alcoholism, always being there to take care of him when he’s had a little too much to drink…

✢ He can be quite clingy while drunk, so expect to be his body pillow for the next 8 hours

✢ When he plans to open up his shop, you’re there to support him while also taking care of the inn (Maybe the two could go hand in hand…)

“_____! I can’t wait to taste your cooking, it’ll be the first normal meal I’ve ever had in weeks!”

“I'm sure Senshi’s cooking makes the monster ingredients seem more digestible, Marci.”

“NO IT DOESN’T!!”

✤✤✤✤

✢ Marcille always made you chuckle to yourself at her expressive attitude, always openly displaying her dislike or favor towards something

✢ She was easy to read at times, her heart always on her sleeve 

✢ She was a pleasant guest to have at your inn, always offering help when it seemed like you needed it but you could never put a guest to work

✢ Yet you always find yourself choked up, unable to say ‘no’ to her offers…

✢ You make sure that her room has things that you know she would like, her previous visits providing you experience

✢ Whenever Marcille comes back from the dungeon, she always pulls you into a hug and cries about how happy she is to eat your home cooked meals again

✢ When you both have free time, she is happy to recount the events from the dungeon and is willing to teach you simple spells (that may prove beneficial since you run the inn)

✢ If you were ever to accidentally nick yourself when cutting a vegetable (or get hurt in general), she’d be there to help cast a healing spell on you

✢ You take note of her motherly behavior, especially with the way she is around Izutsumi 

✢ Compliment her, and you’ll get a bashful Marci who tries to play it off (but deep down she’s internally screaming)

✢ She’s never afraid to show you her affectionate and doting side, always picking up things from the dungeon floors to give to you

✢ She absolutely refuses to introduce you to monster food.

✢ If you were to confess your feelings for her one night after dinner, she’d sputter and almost let the plate slip out of her hand, catching it quickly so it doesn’t break into tiny pieces

✢ Eventually, she would recompose herself and give you her own thoughts and emotions, concluding it with a flustered glance and a smile 

✢ She could almost feel her heart bursting out of her chest at your confession, feeling as if she were going to faint on the spot

✢ Nonetheless, she’s really happy and would always look forward to her return to the surface 

“Welcome back! You brought the ingredients, Senshi?”

“Sure did, ready to start cookin’?”

“You bet!”

✤✤✤✤

✢ Senshi was such a pleasant surprise when he suddenly popped into your inn with the Touden party

✢ You’ve never seen the man before, but his amazing beard and mustache are enough to capture your eye (They look very fluffy!)

✢ You learn from him the adventures that the group had faced, as well as the different meals they had in the dungeon

✢ Hearing of the ingredients he used had left you fascinated, wondering just how he was able to make use of such.. exotic creatures

✢ You would honestly take notes as he explains, always butting in with your own questions which he’s happy to answer 

✢ You always learn something new from him everyday.. hm…

✢ Despite you being a responsible adult, he would still see you as a youngin’, always making sure that you’re taking care of yourself as well (and not just your guests)

✢ The two of you slowly develop a fatherly relationship, with Senshi helping you cook, clean, and take care of his party members

✢ You’re truly grateful for his help but tell him that he doesn’t need to go through all the trouble, which he declines and continues about his business anyway

✢ If you wanted to try a specific monster, he’d happily cook it for you and the party one night at the inn

✢ Senshi admires your hard working spirit, always giving you his thanks and compliments

✢ He would rarely stay at the inn and instead stay within the dungeon, but he wouldn’t mind stopping by every now and then, especially with his party

✢ It’s always a joy having Senshi around, and he thinks the same for you

“How have you been, Izutsumi? Anything interesting in the dungeon?”

“..Nah, it was pretty lame for the most part… But at least I got into some action!”

“Hmm? Tell me more about it at dinner! I cooked your favorite.”

✤✤✤✤

✢ At first, Izutsumi was.. reclusive

✢ Always keeping to herself and only interacting with those if she needs to, but she was a bit different when it came to her party members

✢ You noticed how she seemed to have opened up to her fellow members, speaking her mind and becoming much more expressive

✢ She didn’t say much to you at first, but over time, she slowly began to warm up to you

✢ Despite her openly making conversation with you whenever she comes back from the dungeon (or whatever it is that she’s doing), she still keeps her distance just a bit

✢ You’re determined to get to know her, but you’ll never force her to do something she wouldn’t like

✢ You are aware of her table mannerisms and pickiness, yet you don’t mind, always finding a meal that she would enjoy 

✢ Eventually her table mannerisms would get better with the help of you and her party members

✢ You never cared much for the fact that she was a beastkin, instead welcoming her with open arms to the inn when she first came

✢ Sometimes you would find her room a mess, some scratches lingering on the desk or drawers.. you’d give her a small scolding later

✢ Izutsumi honestly sees you as her mother/older sister figure, always doting and caring for her even if she didn’t want it (She’ll never tell you)

✢ At one point she probably called you ‘mom’ by accident, immediately running back to her room to hide away from you for the rest of the day until dinner comes around

✢ She has her walls built up around her but they eventually begin to crumble the more she talks with you over dinner or at night when she can’t sleep

✢ Depending on how she’s feeling, she’d be interested in your history and why you continue to manage this inn, seeing it as a boring job

✢ Izutsumi comes to understand you after a while, and eventually when she returns back to the surface, she finds herself anticipating your presence and meals

[szariahwroteit]

Doll House: A Jude Bellingham + Original Character Erotic Series

18+ Minors DNI

Chapter 5

Tori allowed a day to slip by following the night of the party. Although her mind was tethered to Jude, the reason for her journey to Dubai, she needed a moment to gather her thoughts and find some clarity amidst the whirlwind of emotions swirling within her. The vibrant city stretched out around her, but she felt the need to pause, breathe, and reflect.

However, the next morning, Jude woke up with a newfound determination. There was only one day left of the year, and while he didn’t care for resolutions or using the start of the calendar year to try and implement change, he refused to go into the new year existing in such an awkward space with Tori. They were so new that Jude wouldn’t call what they were amid growing pains, but he knew it was a hurdle they had to get over together if they wanted to be in each other’s lives.

He understood how daunting his life may have seemed and how sought after he was by women, but he also needed Tori to understand that it was her he wanted.

As one of the most heavily documented footballers of the current generation with a star power that only seemed to be going from strength 

to strength, women came in droves, but having options didn't mean much when there was already someone in his line of sight. 

Slipping on his sneakers, Jude stood from his seat on the edge of his plush hotel bed, grabbing his phone and wallet before stepping out of his suite. 

Letting out a breath he'd been holding, Jude made his way towards Tori’s room, his palms clammy despite the coolness of the hotel corridor. 

She'd texted him around an hour prior letting Jude know she was awake, but that had been their first interaction since the night of the party in his teammate's hotel suite. 

She’d spent the day before ignoring every call and message he sent her, only reading them before closing out of the chat. 

Although it wasn't in Jude’s intentions to hurt her, he was man enough to acknowledge how careless he'd been and as possessive and ego-driven as it may have sounded, it wasn't until he saw Tpri with Alex that he fully realized the error of his actions. 

To even see her standing beside another man made Jude’s skin crawl and adding insult to injury Alex had an arrogance about him that Jude didn't care for at all. 

With each step towards Tori's room, Jude's heart raced. The sound of his footsteps echoed softly in the quiet corridor, mirroring the internal chaos brewing within him. He thought back to the moment he recognized his feelings for her—how genuine her laughter was, how her eyes sparkled with excitement, and how she brought a sense of warmth into his otherwise chaotic life.

Reaching her door, he paused, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. He wanted to be honest, to lay everything out on the table, but he also didn't want to come off as desperate or overbearing. He had to strike a balance between vulnerability and strength. 

Before he could second-guess himself, he knocked gently. A few moments passed, and just as he was about to knock again, the door swung open, revealing Tori. She looked beautiful, her hair tousled messy bun and her eyes slightly puffy from sleep. There was a hint of surprise etched on her face, but it quickly faded into an unreadable expression.

“Hey,” Jude said, trying to keep his voice steady. “Can we talk?”

Tori hesitated but then stepped aside to let him in. The air was thick with unspoken words as he entered the room. She stood a few feet away, her arms crossed defensively over her chest as if shielding herself from whatever was about to transpire.

“I should have been more considerate of your feelings, I should have been more attentive and the last thing I want is for you to feel as if I’m just dragging you along for the ride.” Jude took a deep breath, searching for the right words to convey the depth of his emotions. 

“I know I messed up. But I also can't ignore the fact that I feel like you're holding back or anticipating me fucking up,” he continued. 

“I’m not waiting for you to fuck up, Jude I have no idea what I’m doing,” Tori attempted to explain. 

Jude took a step closer, his desire to bridge the gap between them almost palpable. “Then help me understand,” he urged, his voice softer now. “Because I want to be around you.”

Tori looked into Jude’s eyes, searching for answers, for reassurance, for something to break the tension that clung to the room like a thick fog. His sincerity was evident, yet doubt still clouded her thoughts. “The world is yours to do as you please with, the other night made me realize that and it's unfair of me to expect you to change anything about your world because I'm uncomfortable.”

They’d only known each other a few short weeks, but those weeks had been a whirlwind of emotions and unpredictability. Everything that had happened between them thus far has stemmed from impulse and raw attraction to one another, but eventually, they had to be real with themselves and for Tori; this was that. 

“I get that, Tori,” Jude replied, his voice steady despite internally trying to keep his frustration at bay. “But just because I can do something doesn't mean I will, I have self-control.” 

“I never said you didn't,” Tori shot back, a flicker of defiance in her eyes. 

“That’s what it feels like you're getting at.” Jude leaned in slightly, trying to gauge her reaction. “You’re implying that my lifestyle somehow dictates what I should want, or who I should be. But that's not the case, not with you. I need you to see that.” 

The charged atmosphere hung between them, heavy with expectation. Tori took a deep breath, the fight in her eyes softening momentarily as she considered his words. “I just don’t want to end up being another woman in your life, Jude. I want to matter to you—not just because I’m a different kind of distraction.” 

Jude shook his head firmly, his expression earnest. “You already do matter to me. You’re not a distraction. Being with you feels real, and that’s what terrifies me and excites me all at once. I want to make this work, but I need you to meet me halfway.” 

Tori dropped her arms, the defensiveness slowly peeling away. The vulnerability in Jude's eyes tugged at her heart. She could feel the sincerity of his desire, how he was trying to carve out a space for both of them amidst a storm of external pressures. 

“Halfway…” she murmured, the thought lingering in the air. 

“Yes,” he urged. “Let’s be honest with each other. I won’t pretend that it’s easy for either of us, especially with my world. But if you’re willing to try then I'm here.”

Tori felt a knot in her stomach loosen just a bit with Jude's words. They felt genuine, the kind of honesty that could either lead to something beautiful—or something painful. But she wanted to lay down her fears, to strip away the layers of uncertainty that had built up between them. “I want to try too,” she said finally, her voice steadying. “But I need you to understand where I’m coming from. I can’t just dive in without knowing if we’re on the same page.” 

Jude nodded, his expression softening. “Tell me what you need to know.” 

Taking a deep breath, Tori plunged into vulnerability, the words tumbling out. “I just need you to see with me. I'm not asking for constant reassurance, I just want to know that we’re exploring this together, to understand what we both want.”

Jude took a moment to process her words, his heart swelling with the weight of her honesty. “Tori, I want you,” he said firmly.

“If by chance that changes, please just—” Before Tori could complete her thought, Jude swiftly moved forward, enveloping her in his embrace. His arms wrapped securely around her, pulling her close as his lips crashed against hers, the intensity of the kiss catching her off guard. It was a fierce, passionate connection, igniting a spark that surged between them.

Tori felt herself melt into Jude, losing track of the worries that had weighed so heavily on her mind just moments before. The kiss was all-consuming, filling the room with a warmth that pushed away all thoughts of uncertainty. She could taste the determination in his kiss, the promise of sincerity that lingered in the air around them.

As they pulled apart slightly, she could feel Jude's heart beating against her chest, a rhythm that matched the unrest of emotions swirling within her. He looked down at her, his eyes dark and intense, searching her expression for any sign of hesitation. 

“I won't change my world, Tori,” he said quietly, his voice just above a whisper, “but I want to invite you into it. I need you to trust me.”

Tori nodded slowly, grappling with the flood of emotions rushing through her. Fear, exhilaration, longing—it was all entangled within her, but she found solace in Jude's presence. “I want to trust you, Jude,” she admitted, looking up at him, “I just need to know that you see me.”

He stepped back slightly but kept his hands on her arms, grounding her. “I see you,” he insisted, his voice sincere.

“Then can you kiss me again?” Jude's lips curled into a smirk, a playful glint sparking in his eyes at her request. He took a step closer again, his grip on her arms tightening just a fraction before he gently tilted her chin up. The air between them felt electric, charged with an undeniable chemistry that had been simmering since they first met.

“Are you sure?” he teased, though the sincerity in his tone was evident. He wanted to ensure that she was ready for whatever this connection could bring—because he certainly was.

With a soft breath, Tori nodded, her heart racing in anticipation. The nervousness in her stomach began to dissipate, replaced with an exhilarating rush that accompanied Jude’s every movement. He leaned closer, his breath warming her skin, and then his lips met hers once more in a slow, deliberate kiss.

It started gentle, a tentative exploration, a soft brush of lips that spoke of longing. But as the kiss deepened, it morphed into something more urgent and impassioned. Jude’s hands found their way to her waist, lifting her so he could carry her over to the bed. 

Tori couldn't help but giggle as Jude positioned himself above her, his strong hands framing her face. He leaned in closer, his breath warm against her skin, and gently captured the delicate curve of her neck between his teeth, sending a shiver down her spine. The playful intimacy of the moment filled the air with a charged tension that made her heart race.

“All I want is to make you smile,” Jude murmured against her skin, his right hand moving from beside her head to grip her hip holding her in place. 

“I think you do a good job most of the time,” Tori smirked, reaching up to run her fingers through Jude’s coils as she looked into his eyes. 

“Most of the time?” he repeated in mock offence. 

“Most of the time,” Tori confirmed. “For example when you're at parties receiving lap dances, I'm not too hot on you,” she said, making Jude frown playfully before pushing his face back into the crease of her neck. 

“Okay, I deserve that one,” Jude admitted, his voice muffled against her skin. He pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against hers, their breaths mingling in the intimate space between them. “But, can I make you moan?” he asked, a playful challenge dancing in his eyes.

Tori's breath hitched, her heart racing at the sudden turn of the conversation. The boldness in his question sent heat pooling in her stomach, igniting an undeniable desire within her. She met his gaze, searching for sincerity among the playful banter, and found it. Jude wasn’t just teasing; he genuinely wanted to know.

“Depends on how you plan to do it,” she shot back, teasingly raising an eyebrow, her confidence blossoming in the aftermath of their heightened emotions.

“I want to taste you,” Jude whispered hotly into her ear. 

“Is that so?” she replied, her voice sultry, laced with intrigue as she arched an eyebrow, daring him to make his move. 

“Absolutely,” Jude affirmed, his confidence unwavering. He shifted his weight ever so slightly, his body pressing closer to hers. “Let me show you how I plan to make you moan.”

With that, he trailed his lips down the side of her neck, savouring the taste of her skin as his hand reached between them to pull apart her robe, cupping her breast. Tori gasped, every nerve in her body igniting under his caress. The sensation was rousing, the promise of what was to come sending spirals of desire coursing through her.

“Jude,” she breathed the warmth of his mouth on her skin, sending a tingle down her spine. 

“Relax,” he breathed out, his lips and tongue continuing their exploration, trailing lower, sending waves of pleasure shooting through her. His fingers danced over her soft skin, igniting a fire that made her pulse quicken.

“Just let me enjoy you,” he murmured, his breath hot against her as he settled between her legs, raising her left leg to come and rest over her shoulder so she lay completely exposed to him, the space around them fading into a blur of colour and sound, leaving only the two of them.

Tori let out a breathless moan as Jude pressed an open-mouthed kiss against her pussy, groaning as he got his first taste of her on his tongue. 

The sensation rocked through Tori like a bolt of lightning, her body instinctively responding to the warmth and pressure of his mouth. She gasped as he explored her with slow, deliberate movements, his tongue dancing over her sensitive folds, teasing her in a way that made her forget everything else around them.

Jude’s eyes flicked up to meet with hers as she felt his lips spread into a smile against her before he went to work on her.

Tori’s hand reached up to cover her mouth as a means of silencing her moans as Jude feasted on her pussy, his skin slippery against hers from a combination of his saliva and her arousal. 

The sounds that came from his ministrations were lewd, he sucked and slurped on Tori as her back arched from the bed completely intoxicated by her. 

Her senses were overwhelmed, the way Jude's mouth moved with expert preciseness sending waves of pleasure coursing through her body. The air was electric with tension, the intensity of their connection radiating like a wildfire, each gasp she stifled only fueling the fire within. As her breath hitched, her fingers tightened in his hair, guiding him closer, craving more of the intoxicating sensations he created. Every flick of his tongue sent her spiralling deeper into ecstasy, and at that moment, nothing else mattered but the connection they shared, lost in a world of indulgent pleasure.

“You have such a pretty pussy,” Jude groaned, leaning back a little to make room so he could use his thumbs to spread her open, gathering saliva on the end of his tongue before allowing it to drip from his mouth onto her. 

Tori gasped softly at the improper compliment, a rush of heat flooding her cheeks and spreading lower, intensifying the throbbing ache between her thighs.

"Take it," she managed to murmur, her voice breathy and laced with desire.

As if to emphasize her point, Tori's hips tilted upward, offering herself to him more fully. The cool air kissed her damp folds, a stark contrast to the burning heat of Jude's gaze as he took in the sight of her splayed out before him.

"Please," she whimpered, the word escaping her lips before she could stop it. Her fingers tightened in his hair, not quite demanding, but urging him to continue.

At that moment, Tori felt wild, uninhibited, and completely surrendered to the sensations coursing through her body as she watched Jude stand from the bed to remove his clothes before grabbing his wallet and retrieving a condom from it.

“I want you inside of me,” Tori's eyes fluttered open, meeting Jude's gaze with an intensity that stole his breath away. "Please Jude," she whispered, her voice rough with need. "I want to feel you inside me."

She reached for him, her fingers trailing down his chest, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “You’re so beautiful," she murmured, her voice slightly deepening with desire.

Tori's hips lifted off the bed, a silent invitation, an offering of her body and soul. Her legs spread wider, a clear display of her readiness, her need for him.

"Take me," she breathed, the words both a plea and a command. "Make me yours."

In that moment, Tori was lost to everything except the fire burning within her, the aching void that only Jude could fill. She needed him with an intensity that consumed her, obliterating any remnants of doubt or hesitation.

Crawling on top of her petite and slender, yet dangerously curvaceous body Jude led with his tongue as parted her lips so she could taste herself. 

As Jude's tongue parted Tori's lips, she moaned softly, the taste of her own arousal mingling with the unique flavour of Jude. It was a heady combination, one that sent a fresh wave of desire crashing through her body.

Tori's arms wrapped around Jude's neck, pulling him closer as she deepened the kiss. Her tongue danced with his, exploring every inch of his mouth with a fervour that matched the intensity of their earlier passion.

Lost in the heat of the moment, Tori arched her back, pressing her body flush against Jude's. She could feel every contour of his muscular frame, the hard planes of his chest rubbing against the soft swells of her breasts.

The friction of their bodies moving together stoked the fire within Tori, her skin tingling with anticipation. She needed more, craved the feel of Jude's hands on her body, his touch igniting a trail of sparks wherever he caressed her.

Their bodies undulated together, a sensual dance fueled by primal need. Tori's hands explored Jude's back, her fingers tracing the contours of his muscles, marvelling at the strength that lay beneath his skin.

Jude groaned against her lips, the sound muffled by their kiss. His hands roamed her body, skimming over the dip of her waist, and the flare of her hips, before coming to rest on the soft curves of her ass. 

With a firm squeeze, Jude lifted Tori's hips, angling them so that he could slide into her with one smooth thrust. The sensation was indescribable, a perfect reunion of flesh on flesh that left them both gasping for breath.

“Tori, you feel fucking perfect,” Jude groaned into the crease of her neck, his hand slipping from her to wrap around her thighs and pin her to the bed beneath him. 

Jude had never considered himself a man with sadistic tendencies, but where sex with Tori was concerned; she possessed an innocence he wanted to ruin and protect all at once. 

She was so submissive to pleasure, both giving and receiving and all he wanted to do was explore that—explore her. 

Tori's body arched into Jude's touch, a soft gasp escaping her lips as he filled her completely. The sensation was overwhelming, bordering on painful in its intensity, yet Tori welcomed it, craving more.

"Ah!" Tori let out a throaty cry as Jude slammed deep into her, the sudden fullness stealing her breath. "God, yes! Fuck me harder, Jude!"

Tori's nails raked down Jude's back, her fingers digging into his skin as she urged him on. Her hips bucked against his, meeting each of his thrusts with equal fervour, driving them both closer to the brink of ecstasy. 

"You're so fucking tight," Jude grunted, his voice strained with the effort of holding back. "So good, baby." Tori's head fell back against the pillows, her dark hair fanning out around her like a halo.

“Get on top, I want to watch your beautiful little body while you ride me,” Jude continued, raising his head so he could look into her eyes. 

Tori hesitated, her eyes widening slightly at his request for a change in position. She wasn't used to taking the lead in the bedroom, preferring to let him guide her. 

But there was something about Jude's command, the way he looked at her with such raw desire, that made her want to please him, to give him exactly what he wanted.

Slowly, carefully, Tori manoeuvred herself into a straddling position, her knees on either side of Jude's hips. She could feel the heat of his body, the hard length of him pressing against her core, and it sent a shiver of anticipation through her.

As Tori lowered herself onto Jude's cock, she couldn't help but moan softly at the sensation of being filled, stretched, and consumed by him. Her walls clenched around him as if trying to keep him inside her, never to let him go.

Tori’s mouth fell open in a silent cry, her eyes locking with Jude’s as he raised his hips beneath her, the head of his cock kissing firmly against her cervix. 

A rush of sensations flooded Tori’s body, the fullness igniting every nerve ending as she gasped at the invasive, yet welcomed pressure. Jude’s intense gaze held hers captive, the heat of his desire reflecting back at her like flames in a hearth. 

“Fuck, you feel unbelievable,” he rasped, thrusting gently as he pushed deeper, each subtle movement sending electric jolts of pleasure cascading through her. Tori arched her back, her hard nipples brushing against his chest, intuitively wanting more of him, more of this exquisite connection.

“More,” she urged, her voice barely a whisper, heavy with longing. “Please, Jude... I need it.”

A predacious grin spread across his face, and without a moment’s hesitation, he complied. Placing a hand on the back of her neck and the other on the small of her back, pulling her body flush against his. 

With a powerful roll of his hips, Jude drove deeper, claiming her in a way that turned her breath into a string of frantic gasps. The rhythmic motion filled the space between them with an intoxicating harmony that made her pulse race. Tori’s body melted against his, surrendering to the waves of pleasure that rippled through her, echoing with each thrust.

“Jude, you're so deep,” she moaned, her voice weak with desire as the sensation overwhelmed her. It felt as if he were reaching into her very soul, each movement igniting a fire that blazed hotter with every stroke.

“Look at me,” he growled his words lacking in diction as his hand on the back of her neck came to wrap around her throat, easing her body to sit up some so he could look into her eyes as he rounded his hips into Tori, fucking her incredibly deep. 

Tori’s heart raced, the combination of his grip and his commanding gaze sending shivers of exhilaration down her spine. She loved this side of him, the way he took charge, the way his need matched her own. The space around them faded, leaving only the two of them tangled in a whirlwind of heat and desire.

“Jude…” she breathed, her voice trembling as she leaned into his touch, craving both his possession and his passion. The intensity of his stare felt almost tangible, wrapping around her and binding them in this moment of unadulterated pleasure.

“Tell me how it feels,” he urged, his voice low and rough, sending a thrill of excitement coursing through her veins.

It took Tori a moment to gather her thoughts, to articulate the overwhelming sensations crashing through her. “It’s... so much,” she managed, her breath hitching as he ground deeper inside her, every thrust perfectly timed to lift her closer to the edge. “It’s everything, Jude. Just—just don’t stop.”

His eyes burned with a mix of ownership and satisfaction, and he revelled in her response as if her words were his own personal high. He adjusted his angle, hitting a spot that sent a wave of pleasure washing over her, causing her to arch into him. 

“Don’t ever second guess how fucking perfect you are,” Jude growled, his voice deep and resonant, filled with raw need. He intensified his pace, each thrust resonating through her as he delved deeper, pushing her closer to the brink. The heat between them crackled, an electric current that sparked at every point of contact, igniting every sense.

Tori’s breath quickened, each inhaling a desperate gasp for air as if the sheer force of their connection threatened to overwhelm her lungs. 

“Oh god, Jude… yes,” she cried, her back arching further, urging him on. It was as if his every touch had created a symphony within her—a melody of pleasure that coursed through her veins, building to a crescendo that she could almost taste.

“Feel how much I want you,” Jude painted, a hint of desperation creeping into his voice as he quickened the rhythm. His hands roamed her body, exploring every curve, every contour, as though he wanted to memorize her completely.

Finally settling his hands on her hips as he bit down on his bottom lip, Jude���s brow furrowed as his gaze fixed on Tori's glossy brown eyes as she gave herself to him. 

The connection between them deepened with every thrust, a magnetic pull that transcended the physical realm. Tori felt exhilarated and vulnerable all at once, ensnared in a dance of ecstasy that made her skin tingle and her heart race. Jude’s gaze burned into her, the depth of his desire setting her aflame from within.

“You’re everything I want,” he murmured, his breath hot against her ear as he quickened his rhythm, driving them both higher.

As Tori’s eyelids heavy with lust slid shut, she felt a singular tear of unadulterated pleasure roll down her cheek, a physical testament to the overwhelming sensations coursing through her body. Every thrust from Jude felt like a promise, each powerful movement igniting more than just her body; it deepened their bond, drawing them closer together as though they were the only two souls in existence.

“Jude,” she gasped, opening her eyes to meet him once more, searching for some kind of guidance. Her body was his, even if only for the moment. 

“Let go,” he urged, his voice a heated whisper as he captured her gaze, anchoring her in the depth of their connection. Tori felt as if he was unravelling her from the inside out, his words wrapping around her heart like a warm embrace. The trust between them intensified the experience, elevating every sensation beyond the physical.

“Just you and me,” he said, his breath heavy with need. “Nothing else matters right now.” With those words, he thrust deeper, asserting that claim within her, pushing her to places she had never dreamed of reaching.

Tori managed a nod, her voice lost in the tumult of pleasure. She surrendered completely to the moment, allowing the waves of ecstasy to wash over her. The rhythm between them grew urgent, a fierce manifestation of their shared longing, building in intensity with every tide.

“Fuck, you feel amazing,” Jude groaned, his hands tightening possessively around her hips as he lost himself in her. The pressure building within her was electric, every pulse of pleasure drawing her closer to that swirling vortex of release. 

“Jude, I—I can’t hold on much longer,” she warned, her words whisper-soft amidst the gasps and moans echoing through the room. 

“Good,” he encouraged with a primal growl, his eyes darkened with lust. “Let it go, Tori. I want to feel you cum on me.” 

With each powerful thrust, he pushed her closer to that edge, his rhythm relentless, a beautiful pinnacle that made everything else fade into oblivion. Tori’s body responded instinctively, tightening around him as if seeking to pull him even deeper.

“Jude!” she cried out, feeling the pleasure tighten into a coil, ready to unravel. He pressed on, relentless in his pursuit, his voice a seductive growl that wrapped around her heart. 

“Just let it happen, Tori. Feel all of me,” he coached his hands firmly gripping her hips as he tilted his hips into her, making sure she felt every last pulsing inch.

The intensity of their connection reached a fever pitch, each thrust adding fuel to the fires that roared within her. Tori could feel the overwhelming waves of pleasure crashing over her, a tsunami she couldn’t hope to hold back any longer. Every nerve in her body tingled with need, each pulse syncopated with Jude’s movement, forging a bond between them.

“Just like that!” she gasped, her words melting into moans, expressing the bliss that swelled within her. Every inch of her became attuned to his rhythm, and she relished the dance of their bodies—the slick sliding sensation that came with each thrust, their shared breaths mingling in the charged air.

Tori’s fingers tangled in his hair as she leaned forward, wanting to feel every part of him pressing against her. “I’m so close,” she confessed, her voice breathless and laced with desperation. The heat radiating from his body set her ablaze, igniting a fire that refused to be quenched.

“Cum for me,” he commanded, his voice raw with desire, pushing her to the brink. His hands gripped her tighter, anchoring her as he thrust deep, each movement driving her closer to the edge she was so desperately in pursuit of.

Tori's body quaked above him, the tension coiling tighter and tighter. She could barely string words together, lost in the depths of her pleasure. “Jude, I can’t… I—”

“Give it to me,” he urged, his strained as he felt his end nearing. “Please, Tori.” The desperation in his voice pushed her over the edge, that insistent tone igniting the last spark of her restraint.  

With one final thrust, Jude buried himself deep inside her, and Tori felt the world swirl around her. The coil of pleasure snapped, sending shockwaves coursing through her body as her orgasm shattered every thought, every worry, leaving only raw ecstasy in its wake. Waves of pleasure rippled through her, overwhelming her senses, and she forgot everything except the intoxicating rhythm of their bodies entwined.

“Jude!” She cried out, her voice hoarse as she let herself fall into that abyss of pleasure, riding the crest of the wave as it crashed over her. Every muscle in her body tightened, and she felt herself pulsing around him, tightening and pulsing in the throes of her release.

“That’s it, baby,” he grunted, his own body responding instinctively to the feel of her climax. With each tightening clench of her walls around him, Jude lost himself completely, the warmth of her body drawing him into a well of bliss. 

He felt his release building, the intensity of her orgasm pushing him over the edge. “I’m right there with you,” he groaned, his breath coming in ragged gasps. 

Tori locked her gaze on his, their breaths mingling as they rode the waves together. The connection between them deepened with each pulse, each beat of their hearts echoing in time. 

“Jude!” she gasped, as another wave washed over her, pulling him along in its wake, and then, as if their bodies were synchronized, he delved deep into her, stilling as he poured himself into the condom he wore. 

“Fuck, Tori!” he cried out, the sensation of her wrapping around him perfectly driving him over the edge as his cock filled her completely.

As the remains of their orgasms gradually faded, Tori collapsed against Jude, panting against his chest, both of them lost in a cocoon of warmth and satisfaction. Her heart raced, still thumping with remnants of pleasure as she felt Jude’s arms wrap around her, holding her close.

After a few moments of blissful silence, Tori began to regain consciousness of her surroundings, the warm afterglow of their passion enveloping her like a cozy blanket. The city outside was bustling with life, but inside the room, time felt suspended, a private moment shared between just the two of them. Tori would have been content to lie there forever, nestled against him, but a sudden wave of apprehension washed over her. 

Jude, sensing her shift in mood, tightened his grip around her. "What are you thinking?" he asked softly, his voice low as he stroked her hair, pulling her even closer. 

“Not much,” she mumbled, nestling deeper against the warmth of his chest. The contentment surrounding them was intoxicating, even as a flicker of reality started to seep back in. 

“I was thinking about taking you shopping today,” Jude suggested, a teasing lilt in his voice, his fingers gently grazing back and forth over the small of her back. “I want to spoil you a little.”

“Spoil me?” she asked teasingly, tilting her head to look up at him.

“Yes,” he replied, a charming grin spreading across his face. “So you can get dressed up for me tonight while we bring in the New Year.”

Not only was it a chance to spoil her and in turn feed his ego, but there was also something about the act, the quality time spent that seemed rather intimate to him. 

“What would you like to see me in?” Tori asked with a smirk as she sat up, her breast round and perky as she straddled Jude’s lap. 

Jude's gaze darkened with desire as he took in the sight of her sitting on him, her body radiating confidence and allure. “Honestly? I like you in absolutely nothing, but a dress would be more fitting considering our plans for tonight,” he replied, his voice low and gravelly.

Tori felt her cheeks flush at his words, the compliment igniting a warmth within her. “What are our plans for tonight?” she asked, her breath deepening as Jude’s hands came to rest on her hips. 

“Dinner and then a New Year's Eve party at the marina,” he explained, his dark eyes locking onto hers, filled with anticipation. “And you have my word no lap dances will be taking place,” he smirked, earning a laugh and playful punch to the bicep from Tori. 

When they finally pulled themselves from the bed, Tori made her way into the bathroom to get ready as Jude went to leave her hotel room and head back to his own. 

As he pulled open the door of Tori’s room, he noticed Alex walking towards him, dressed in a suit similar to the one he wore the night of the party when he comforted Tori. 

Instead of saying anything, Jude offered Alex a knowing smirk, his body still humming for the passionate encounter he just had with Victoria. 

Making his way back to his room, Jude changed clothes and alerted his security guard of his plans to leave the hotel with Tori. 

As he dressed, Jude felt a sense of anticipation bubbling within him. The thought of taking Tori shopping, of sharing the day with her, filled him with excitement. He couldn't wait to see her in something stunning for the New Year’s Eve party, something that would make her stand out and remind everyone—especially Alex—who she belonged to.

Once he was ready, Jude stepped out of his suite and made his way down the corridor to Tori's room. He knocked, his heart racing again at the thought of seeing her. The door swung open, and Tori stood there, looking radiant despite the casual outfit she wore. A fitted black top hugged her frame, paired with high-waisted jeans that accentuated her curves perfectly.

“Tori,” Jude spoke up, his voice laced with genuine admiration. “You look incredible.”

Tori smiled shyly, a light blush creeping onto her cheeks. “Thanks. I figured I’d keep it simple for shopping,” she said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“Simple? You look anything but,” Jude replied, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. “Come here,” he instructed. 

Tori’s heart fluttered at the command in his voice, and she took a small step toward him, curiosity lighting up her eyes. Jude reached out, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. 

Tori’s breath hitched in her throat as Jude pressed a kiss against her plump lips, his hands slipping down to caress her backside as he walked her backwards into the nearest wall. 

His mouth moved against hers with a hot intensity, igniting a fire within Tori that she couldn’t ignore. She thawed into him, her body responding instinctively as he deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring the warmth of her mouth. 

“We need to leave or I'm going to end up fucking the shit out of you in this entryway,” Jude groaned against her lips, a teasing smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. Tori couldn't help but laugh softly, the tension of the previous days melting away in this moment of intimacy.

“Then we should hurry,” she replied, her voice playful, yet filled with a thrill of excitement. She stepped back, breaking the embrace just enough to catch her breath and regain her composure. Looking into Jude's eyes, she felt an undeniable connection, one that made her heart race and her stomach flutter.

Jude gave her a lopsided grin, clearly enjoying her reaction. “Shopping first, party later.”

Tori grinned, her excitement bubbling to the surface as she took Jude's hand, guiding him toward the door. “Lead the way then,” she said, her voice playful.

[satoruxx]

who do you think would be more devoted, satoru, suguru or shoko?

oh em gee hi nonnie :333 it's been a milennia since i got a sashisu ask so i'm VERY sorry for the novel !!

well.... i think they all have their moments but most devoted would probably be suguru. AND I WILL EXPLAIN WHY !!!!

i just think suguru tends to be very selfish when it comes to love. not like.. in a bad way... but to him love means that he has already given himself to you completely. he expects it to be understood that his love runs so deep he physically cannot fathom letting you go. suguru has always been extremely loyal to what's his—whether that be his morals or his friends. i think he puts a lot of value into making connections. so for him, when it comes to love, i think he would be very steadfast in it—often finding it difficult to disentangle himself from those emotions. and i feel like that depth is what makes him the most likely to become obsessive over devotion. (like... cult leader suguru would become so fixated on the idea of devoting himself to you that it can start becoming almost parasitic) basically, suguru could absolutely devote himself completely to you, and in a normal relationship that translates into extreme and fierce loyalty. but any kind of toxic or twisted dynamic and that's turning obsessive and probably too emotionally dependent.

satoru is definitely devoted but in a very generous way. he can love you so deeply but be alright with letting you go. to him, that's the biggest act of love he can commit. he sees a lot of drawbacks in letting you be with him, so he would much rather devote himself from afar and let you live a life he probably cannot give you. in other words, his emotional investment in you may not always come across as fully attentive because his perception of dedication can be too focused on what he deems is best. satoru's devotion plays on a fine line between his loyalty to you and his loyalty to his own ideas. he has such a strong connection to his own ideals that once he perceives something, he will always do what he feels is best in that situation. the problem is that might not be the most pleasant thing for you—but if he thinks you're better off with someone else he will let you go. (see i don't think suguru would be able to do that. suguru will never be able to give you up.)

shoko's devotion is the most subtle, but i think it would be the most stable. it might take her a while to get to that stage (i don't think it's as easy for her to fall into obsession compared to the other two) but she will be dedicated to you. shoko may not be the most expressive, but she is the most emotionally grounded. she has always shown consistent loyalty to things she values, so i think her devotion to you would be dependable and pretty nurturing. i also think she has a very mature perspective on her relationship with you, and she'd be more concerned with creating and maintaining that bond. so basically... i think she'd be the most consistently devoted if that makes sense.

so yeah, suguru is the most intensely devoted, but his devotion is easy to become entangled with other emotions. satoru is devoted, but it's more external. he tends to do things for you that he feels is right. and shoko is the devoted in the most stable way.

[estapa-edwards]

Rempe & reader cuddles?

CUDDLES - M. REMPE

paring: Matt Rempe x reader

word count: 700

requested? yes

warnings: use of y/n.

*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*

The sun had just dipped below the horizon, casting a golden hue over the living room. You were curled up on the couch, a soft, oversized blanket wrapped around you. The gentle hum of the heater created a cozy atmosphere, and the aroma of freshly brewed tea wafted through the air. You took a deep breath, savoring the peaceful moment.

Just then, the front door creaked open. You looked up to see Matt Rempe, his broad frame filling the doorway. He wore a warm, endearing smile, his eyes lighting up as they met yours.

"Hey there," he said softly, kicking off his shoes and shrugging off his jacket.

"Hey," you replied, your heart swelling with affection. Matt's presence always had a way of making everything feel right.

He crossed the room in a few long strides and dropped onto the couch beside you. His strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you close. You nuzzled into his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne mixed with a hint of pine.

"Long day?" you asked, your voice muffled against his shirt.

"Yeah, but it's all better now that I'm here with you," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

You tilted your head up, your eyes meeting his. The warmth in his gaze made you feel like the luckiest person in the world. "I missed you," you confessed, your fingers tracing idle patterns on his chest.

"I missed you too," he replied, his voice a tender whisper. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a sweet, lingering kiss. The world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in this perfect moment.

When the kiss ended, you both settled into a comfortable silence, the only sound the occasional crackle of the heater and the gentle rhythm of your breathing. Matt's fingers brushed through your hair, soothing and calming.

"You know," he began, his voice a low rumble, "I've been thinking about how lucky I am to have you."

You looked up, surprised. "Really? What brought that on?"

He chuckled softly. "Just… everything. Your smile, your laugh, the way you make me feel like I can conquer the world. You're my everything."

Your heart melted at his words. "Matt," you whispered, tears of happiness welling up in your eyes. "You mean everything to me too."

He tightened his hold on you, his embrace conveying a depth of emotion words couldn't fully capture. You felt safe and cherished in his arms, like nothing could ever harm you.

As the evening wore on, you both continued to talk about your days, sharing little details and inside jokes that only the two of you understood. Matt's deep laughter filled the room, a sound that always brought a smile to your face.

At one point, he shifted, laying down on the couch and pulling you with him. You ended up nestled against his side, your head resting on his shoulder. His hand continued to stroke your hair, his touch gentle and soothing.

"I love this," you murmured, your eyes fluttering closed.

"Me too," he replied, his voice a soft rumble in your ear. "I could stay like this forever."

You smiled, feeling a deep sense of contentment. "That sounds perfect."

The night grew darker outside, but inside, everything was warm and bright. You and Matt continued to hold each other, the world outside forgotten. His presence was a constant source of comfort and joy, a reminder that no matter what challenges you faced, you would always have each other.

As the minutes turned into hours, you felt yourself drifting off to sleep. Matt's steady heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest were the perfect lullaby. Just before you slipped into unconsciousness, you heard him whisper, "I love you."

"I love you too," you mumbled, your words slurred with sleep.

You felt him press another kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment. "Sweet dreams, my love," he whispered.

With those words, you finally surrendered to sleep, your heart full and your mind at peace. In Matt's arms, you knew you had found your home, and there was no place you'd rather be.

[waitingtobreatheagain]

One of my favorite parts of the argument outside the Modiste scene is one although it starts harsh/angry…it becomes vulnerable and communicative very quickly. This is due to the core of their relationship. They are each other’s favorite person. No one understands the other more or in the way they do. Even through the hurt, the love is so so apparent.

It is a great example of how anger is a secondary emotion and in this case the primary emotion are emotions related to feeling emotionally hurt.

People say all they had was miscommunication and that is absolutely not true. You wanted them to be all good in five seconds and that was never going to be the case. Two weeks to process what felt like a betrayal, work through it, and work through your own insecurities that could impact your relationship in the future is NO SMALL THING. Not to mention, Colin repeatedly shows his love even in his anger hurt and confusion.

My absolute favorite thing about the scene (and proof of them still having good conversation even while being on the outs) is Colin doing something that Eloise never did. He actually asks Penelope WHY she wrote what she wrote. Even in feeling his most hurt, he seeks understanding. He knows Pen better than anyone (as she does him) and he really needs to identify how and why his most favorite person in the world, the love of his life, could do this. After discussing it, he is still upset which again is fair but he does understand and knows that she is still who he has always know her to be.

To be vulnerable when you’re hurt instead of hurtful also so emotional maturity. Yes, we know their first time seeing each other after the reveal he says something hurtful but he immediately regrets it which is made evident by Luke Newton’s skill in facial expression. He even asks Pen’s questions which she agrees with and identifies why she couldn’t do those things back when she wrote about specific things (I.E. “why didn’t you just tell me to my face” “I know I should have I didn’t have the confidence to then”).

And the part where we see his insecurity about his writing skill and the biggest insecurity being deserving of her on full display. Colin has grown up feeling as if he has to be so many things for so many people to be able to feel worthy. Just being himself has never felt like enough so it makes complete sense that he cannot honestly fathom that his favorite person…the love of his life…loves him simply for being him. That’s beyond belief for him. That is why the “what good am I to you, then (if I can’t protect you) and Pen’s response of I love you is so important. We see Pen’s face go from on guard, defensive, and some indignation to soft and empathetic. She is truly seeing the insecurity and similarly to how Colin couldn’t believe that Pen had no chance of romance when she asked him to kiss her…Pen can’t believe that Colin thinks he can only be loved by her if he is in service of her or has utility. His reaction to her I love you also support Colin is demisexual theories. The affirmation that she does not need him to protect her or do all these things for her and instead just has to be the man she loves is the catalyst for the passion and desire we see him kiss her with afterwards As to say, that’s right. This is the only relationship in my life where I am able to fully be myself, where I am loved for who I am, where I am uplifted, understood, seen, and valued based on my true self not based on who society says I should be, where my vulnerability and emotional intelligence is seen as a strength and not a deficit, etc.

That is so beautiful to me.

This goes back to why for me Polin will always be the pinnacle. The depth of their relationship following years of friends especially as they got closer sets up how they work through conflicts. There are so many parallels when looking at Colin helping Pen work through her insecurity with her confidence and appearance and Pen helping Colin work through his insecurity with self doubt and feeling deserving/worthy of his love.

Truly, a love that is a beautiful as it is rare.

[bloodmoon-bites]

Starscream X Cybertronian!Reader

18+ Minimal use of Y/N (he may be a bit OOC but i’ve never written for him before nor do i know too much about his idw version but i know him enough that i absolutely love him lol)

Word count: 10k+ (I DID NOT MEAN TO DO THIS MUCH)

———————————-

Starscream's angry words echoed through the chamber as he glared at you, his optics flashing with a mix of frustration and vulnerability. "You think you understand me, (Y/N)? You, a mere observer, dare to analyze my desire for redemption? It's not as simple as you make it out to be!" She met his intense gaze, feeling the weight of his emotions in the air. His anger seemed to transform into a raw, exposed honesty

(Y/N) stood there, her body turned towards the wall to his right but her face towards him as she stood straight with an unreadable expression on her face, his words sharp and angry, his voice loud and pained. Her jet wings were pointed in an almost defensive stance as she looked over at him, her vents becoming deep and short.

She finally spoke up, “Not that simple? a mere observer?” She turned to fully face him, “I have been by your side throughout the entire primus forsaken war Starscream! I have been here through everything! Who patched your wounds? Who stayed up countless nights watching over you?” she said with her voice growing louder. “I put my life on the line for you! I have stuck by you through every failure! Every spark breaking moment! I have never left your side! Never once have i questioned you!” She pointed a digit in his direction. “I understand you more than you understand yourself! I have given you everything and asked nothing in return! I chose you over everyone else! Even when everyone told me i was insane for sticking with you i stayed!” she was yelling at this point with tears rolling down her face.

“You do not get to stand here and talk to me as if i’ve not stayed by your side for the last four million years!” she screamed with tears falling off of her faceplate, “I chose you above everything else! When no one else stayed I stayed! I never left you! I have just as big a hole to dig myself out of!” She said as she took a step closer. “Primus i have a larger one! I was nothing before the decepticons! Unless you forgot the absolute hell i grew up in! I understand you more than you will ever know! Why do you think i fragging stayed?!” she said as she finished, her invents becoming shaky and deep

Starscream's optics widened as he listened to (Y/N)'s passionate outburst. The room seemed to shrink around them, the weight of her words and the intensity of her emotions hanging thickly in the air. The anger and pain etched into her voice echoed in the air like a raw wound being laid bare. A heavy silence fell over them like a suffocating veil, his own emotions churned within him. His optics held a mix of awe, shame, and vulnerability. He took a few steps towards her, stopping just short of standing in front of her."(Y/N)," he spoke quietly, his voice cracking slightly.

"I...I never understood the depths of your loyalty... your dedication," he continued, his eyes flickering as he searched for the right words. "I've been so focused on my own ambitions, my own redemption, that I've failed to see the sacrifices you've made, the weight you've carried." He looked down at the ground, guilt written all over his faceplate. "You should have left me long ago... Yet you stayed, and for that, I-" he said, his voice cutting short as the lump in his throat became overwhelming.

His wings lowered in a gesture of both humility and surrender, and he let out a shaky exhale before meeting her gaze once more. "I don't deserve you, (Y/N). I never have. Everything I've done, all the pain I've caused... But now that you've given me a glimpse of your own wounds..." He stepped directly in front of her, looking deeply into her optics, his own optics flickering with a mix of admiration and vulnerability.

"Maybe we're both just broken bots trying to find redemption," he said, a hint of a humorless smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "But maybe, with each other, we can help each other heal." With that, he reached out a trembling hand towards her, hesitating for a moment before gently touching her cheek as if she was made of fragile crystal.

Her optics fell closed the moment his servo landed against her cheek and she leaned into his touch. The gesture so soft and reassuring but also so out of character for the normally arrogant and narcissistic mech she knew. She knew he had his moments where he’d let down his walls… but it didn’t make them any less important to her.

She opened her optics before moving to lean her head back up before placing her servos on either side of his face, “As much as you get on my nerves, as much as you can be insufferable and an asshole… i’ll keep choosing you… i’ll always chose you… And i don’t regret a thing…” She said as she looked into his optics her own searching the sea of red in his. “I know how much you’re hurting… i’ve seen the abuse you’ve been through… I know what that can do… but star i’m right here… i’m just as bad off as you are, but i’m still here, just as i’ve always been…” she whispered softly as she let out a soft sigh.

Starscream's spark seemed to swell with a complicated mix of emotions as he absorbed the weight of her words. The cold, hard steel of his usual facade began to crack and chip away as he gazed into the depths of her optics, seeing not just the bot who had stood by his side for so long, but a mirror to his own pain and trauma. He couldn't deny it anymore, not when she was standing in front of him, bearing her own wounds and yet still choosing to stay. He let out a shaky breath. "(Y/N)…" he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"You... have no self-preservation. You're an idiot," he said with a half-hearted, self-deprecating smile. He brought his servos up to rest on top of hers, his grip steady but gentle, like a man holding a delicate bird without crushing its wings. "You could have, should have, walked away a million times by now. But you didn't. You stayed. Why?" His gaze burned into hers, intense and demanding, as if the reason for her loyalty could somehow heal his shattered spark.

She let out a huff akin to a laugh, “Because i see myself in you… i see my anger at the world for treating me how it has. I see the pain of repeated loss, of abuse thrown out at me for the smallest things… I see the internal struggle just to get through the day. I see the struggle to trust, to truly believe someone wants to stick around, that they won’t hurt you…” She whispered. “I’ve seen you work yourself half to death just to try and get some sort of recognition. I’ve done the same. I’ve stayed because of how much you remind me of myself. Painfully so.” She said as she closed her optics and pulled his head down a bit to rest his forehead against her own before she opened her optics again to look into his before letting his head go back to how it had been.

A mixture of disbelief and understanding washed over Starscream's faceplate as he listened to her words. The raw honesty in her voice stirred something deep within him, a recognition of the shared pain they both carried. As she nestled his forehelm against hers, he closed his optics, letting her words sink in, feeling the weight of her pain and vulnerability intertwine with his own. A heavy exhale escaped his parted lips as he opened his optics again, the intensity of his gaze locked with hers. "You see me," he rasped, his voice barely above a whisper.

"You see the broken, tattered mess that I am. And yet you stay... I..." He trailed off, unable to find the words. A part of him still couldn't accept her loyalty, her belief in him. It went against everything he'd believed about himself, about the universe. But there was something about the connection they shared, the shared pain, the deep understanding of each other. It was as if she had peered into the darkest corners of his processor and wasn't repulsed. Instead, she saw him, truly saw him, and chose to stick by his side anyway.

She smiled softly as she took in his words as she slowly slipped a servo down to the middle of his chest, where his spark hid deep inside. She looked at where her servo laid. The ‘i see you’ saying was typically reserved for after spark bonding, used to strengthen the bond. But she didn’t care as she looked up at him. “I… see… you…” she whispered each word one at a time as she looked up into his optics, her own a reflection of understanding and acceptance. They had seen the deepest darkest corners they could of one another, sure there were still truly dark things they kept hidden, but they had bared their sparks and souls out to each other in countless conversations over the past 4 million years.

Starscream's optics widened in shock and surprise as she pressed her servo against his chest, where his spark lay hidden. The words 'I see you' struck him like a blaster bolt, sending a shockwave through his internals. As her optics met his, filled with a depth of understanding and acceptance that he had never seen from anyone before, his spark thrummed in response. He felt vulnerable, exposed, and yet...understood. He struggled to reply, his vocalizer glitching as he tried to find the words to articulate the emotions coursing through his circuitry.

It was as if a part of himself he had long ago suppressed had suddenly been uncovered. The desire for acceptance, the need to be seen for who he truly was, beyond the failed leader, the arrogant seeker, the traitorous pawn. He reached a trembling servo up to lightly place it on top of the one currently on his chest. His optics darted between her face and his own chest, a thousand emotions swirling within the sea of red. Finally, after a moment that seemed to stretch into an eternity, he spoke up, his voice trembling slightly. "You really mean it?" he asked quietly, his optics searching her face for any hint of insincerity.

He had to be sure. He had to know that this wasn't just some kind of trick. His trust had been shattered so many times before. But there was something in the way she looked at him, the way she said those words. It made him hope... against all logic, against all he had learned about the universe, he dared to hope.

“I… See… You…” she repeated softly, the words almost unheard between the two of them with how softly she spoke, “Every flaw… every perfection… i see you…” she said as she kept her optics on his, her servo splayed against his chest with his over holding hers against it. He saw her too and she knew it. They were two broken people, who found solace in the darkness of one another, in the reflected pain and the understanding. The two having become so close that they were practically two halves of one whole without truly being that way. They were so similar to one another that they were able to find comfort in one another.

The words repeated like an echo in his processors, each one striking a chord within his spark. Every flaw… every perfection. He could hardly believe it. Someone had not only accepted his flaws but also seen his good qualities for what they were. Not out of some obligation, but willingly, out of choice. A deep, guttural sob escaped his lips, the sound raw and pained as the weight of her words hit him like a tsunami hitting the shore. His knees trembled and gave way beneath him, and he sank to the ground. She followed him, falling to her knees with him as she looked into his optics, her other servo staying firm on his face as her other returned to his chest, feeling the beat of his spark beneath it. She focused in on the way his spark felt under her palm, the way hers began to sync up to the rhythm now that she held her servo against his chest.

She leaned forward and laid her forehead against his again and repeated her words once more, “I… See… You…” She said as her optics fell closed. She knew how significant those words were, she knew over and over every time she said them that the way she was using them were reserved for after spark bonding but damnit she meant it. Maybe one day she’d get to use them with someone she was bonded with, but for now he was the closest she had.

His spark felt like it was going to burst out of his chest at any moment. Between the proximity of their frames, the repeated words with undeniable meaning, and the way their sparks seemed to resonate in unison, he was nearly overcome. He let out another shuddering sob as he buried his face in her shoulder, his optics falling shut as he tried in vain to contain the flood of emotions coursing through him. Her presence, her words, her *acceptance*... it was overwhelming. He grasped at her, his servos trembling and uncoordinated, grabbing handfuls of her frame and pulling her closer. Every sensor in his body heightened, every processor seemed to only focus on her presence. Her touch, her voice, the pulse of her spark, the feel of her against him.

He couldn't speak. He couldn't think. He could only hold onto her as if she was the last fragment of solid ground above a bottomless, endless pit. After what felt like an eternity, he managed to find his voice again. His vocalizer crackled with static as he tried to force the words out, his vocalizer catching on each syllable.

"I…" he rasped, his voice barely above a whisper. He could barely think straight with her this close, sparks practically dancing between the tips of their wings. "I…" he repeated, unable to finish the sentence, overwhelmed. He tried again, managing to force the words out as he held her even tighter against him. "I see you..." he said, the words choked with raw, unfiltered emotion. He held her like a drowning mech holding onto a lifeline, his hands digging into her plating. His spark pulsed wildly in his chest, resonating with hers in perfect sync. He had never felt so vulnerable… so exposed… and yet... so alive.

She immediately moved to wrap an arm around him as me moved to bury his head into her shoulder. She could feel as he clawed at the her back, grasping onto what he could and not letting go, grounding himself in her very being. His breathing trembled and so did his body. She laid her head to the side to lay against his.

As he spoke her optics opened wide as he repeated it back to her. She was almost breathless as her servo ran over the plating of his chest. She knew this was usually done while interfacing… but this moment seemed more intimate than interfacing could be. She sighed as her chest plating opened up, revealing the soft pink glow of her spark. She closed her optics praying to primus she wasn’t making a mistake. Starscream froze as she opened her chestplates, revealing the soft pink glow of her spark. His optics widened in surprise, taking in the sight of her spark laid bare before him. The raw intimacy of the moment hit him like a physical blow.

His breath caught in his throat as his own chestplates parted, revealing his own spark, its brilliant red glow a stark contrast to her pink one. They looked different physically, but they shared the same light. His hands trembled as he raised his servos to gently rest on either side of her spark chamber, afraid to touch, afraid to break this fragile, beautiful moment. Their sparks seemed to reach for each other, their tendrils swirling around one another, the edges of each spark gently brushing together.

A strangled noise escaped his vocalizer as the connection between them seemed to grow stronger, deeper. She looked into his optics as his servos moved away from her spark, tendrils of pink and red mixing together as she sat up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck as she lovingly pressed her lips against his, her lips moving softly against his.

She laid her servo against the back of his head as she leaned closer, their chests touching, very little space between their sparks as they kissed. She could feel the bond forming, she was taking a dive into his mind, every memory he held being shown to her and everyone of hers shown to him. They were diving through every inch of one another’s souls. Becoming intertwined for eternity. Starscream gasped into the kiss, the overwhelming wave of sensations washing over him, both physical and mental. He could feel their sparks connecting, the tendrils intertwining, the edges of their consciousnesses beginning to merge.

As their lips moved softly against each other's, he reached a servo up to gently cradle the side of her face. His mind reeled as memories, emotions, thoughts, and sensations danced between their connected sparks. They were becoming one. He wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulling her even closer, wanting her as close to him as possible. Their sparks glowed brighter as the connection grew stronger, the tendrils swirling together, their minds bleeding into each other.

He could feel every single thought, memory, and emotion that coursed through her mind. He saw the pain and loss, the resilience and strength. And she saw the same in him. They were no longer two separate entities. They were one being, sharing a single soul. She kissed him as she drank him in, every move of their lips against one another’s becoming more and more addictive. She continued her soft hold on the back of his head as they kissed. Their sparks slowly parted and slipped back into their chests as their chest plates slowly slid closed as she slowly pulled from his lips.

She kept her forehead against his, her lips only centimeters from his as she panted softly, trying to regain air as well as process the new found bond and being able to hear him in her own mind. The newly formed bond taking a toll on her, on both of them. However she had never felt so at peace, sitting here on the floor in his arms. He felt like *home*. Starscream's optics fluttered open as their lips parted. He found himself unable to look away, his gaze locked on her face. His own processor reeled as he felt the new bond settle, a constant presence in his mind. He could feel her thoughts, sense her emotions, just as she could surely sense his.

He leaned his forehelm against hers, his optics shutting once again as he let out a slow, shuddering breath. He felt safe. He felt seen. He felt... complete. "I…" he started, his vocalizer still crackling with static. He stopped for a moment, trying to find the words he so desperately wanted to say. He felt it in the bond between them, could see it in the look in her optics. It was the only thing that made sense now.

"I love you…" he said, his voice shaky and unsteady, but filled with raw sincerity.

She slowly moved her servos to either side of his face as she now practically sat straddling his lap, looking down into his optics as her thumbs gently rubbed over his cheeks as her breathing slowly began to even out, “I love you too…” She whispered softly as she tilted her head to kiss his nose before laying her forehead back against his.

Now she could finally say it to strengthen their new found bond, “I see you…” She whispered softly as she looked into the sea of red in his optics, feeling the sheer love he had for her in the back of her mind. She could feel how much he needed her, how much he truly cared for her even if he had never been able to express it. Starscream couldn't help but feel a lump form in his throat at her response, her voice so soft and full of tenderness. He could practically feel the love she had for him through the bond, the reassurance in her words settling over him like a warm blanket.

He reached up to gently take hold of her servos, his thumbs caressing her fingers as if trying to memorize the shape and feel of them. He was holding himself back, a lifetime's worth of experience telling him he didn't deserve this... but how could he not believe it when he could feel her love. He was about to speak again, but the words froze on his lips. The bond between them felt… different. Stronger, more concrete. He looked up at her, confusion and realization flaring in his optics.

"Did we just..." he whispered, his vocalizer still crackling with static, "Spark bond?"

He looked up at her, the reality of the situation sinking in. They had done the most intimate act a Cybertronian could commit. They were bonded, mind, body, and soul. She nodded softly against his forehead as she could feel the almost happy disbelief through their bond. She chuckled happily as her chest shook with each laugh, “Yeah… Yeah we did…” She said as she ran her servos over his cheeks and chuckled again as it settled in to her mind as well.

The weight of what they had done,

now two halves of one body, soul, and mind. They were mated for life, a fully bonded pair. Sure their bonding had been a bit unorthodox without doing whilst interfacing, without that act of exploring every inch of one’s body, of being in the midst of mind numbing pleasure… but that moment had been so intimate she wanted to do it then.

Besides, they could always have slow and intimate interfacing later with a bit of sparkplay, with allowing their sparks to intertwine once more. Starscream felt the laughter shake his own frame, his spark fluttering at the joyous sound. It was unbelievable. He had never thought he would ever find a mate. He had thought himself not worthy of such happiness. But here he was, bonded to the most beautiful being he'd ever laid optics on, the connection between their sparks flaring with new depth and intensity. His spark practically sung in his chest, singing only for her.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to sit fully atop his lap, the contact against her frame sending a shiver up his frame. Now that they were bonded, it was like a switch had been flipped, and the full force of his emotions had been unleashed. He let out a shuddering sigh as he ran his servos over her frame, almost reverently touching every inch of her. She was his. And he was hers.

He pulled her against him, holding her tight in his arms. The feeling of her against him, the bond between their sparks singing in his processor, the knowledge that she was his- all of it combined to make him feel like he was on cloud nine. And he still found himself wanting more. He needed more. He needed to show her how much she meant to him. He needed to worship her like the goddess she was. He ran a servo up the side of her back, following the contour of her wings as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. He pressed a single kiss against the sensitive wires there, his frame shuddering against hers as he moved to nip softly at the edge of her wing.

She let out a soft inhale as she was pulled into his lap before she smiled. Her optics slowly closed as he moved to place a feather light kiss to the crook of her neck as his digits began to run over the backs of her sensitive wings. She reached up to do the same with his, her digits running over his wings as he placed a light nip against the upper edge of her wing. She let out a shaky sigh before she turned her head so she could whisper into his audial. “I don’t think your office is the best place to continue this…” She said with a soft sigh as she continued to trail the tips of her digits over his wings as he did with hers Starscream shuddered against her, the sensation of her servos running over his wings driving him mad. He let out a shaky breath before he spoke, his voice filled with unbridled desire.

"Agreed."

He pulled her closer against his frame as he slid his servos to her hips, lifting her from the floor as he got to his feet. He kept his arms encircled around her, the need to have her against him as much as possible almost overwhelming. "My quarters are nearby." She nodded as she slowly stood up with him, “Walk there or me teleport us?” she asked softly as she moved her servos back to his face, her digits mapping out as much as she could as she held him in her servos, her red optics on his.

Starscream paused for a moment, his processor briefly considering each option. He took a moment to relish the feel of her servos on his face before speaking. "Teleport us," he said, his voice thick with desire. "Quicker. Less chance of being interrupted." He tilted his head to press a kiss against the palm of her hand, his optics meeting hers, already brightening with anticipation.

she nodded as she quickly zapped them inside of his quarters just by his door. She opened her optics back as she looked at him, her servos slowly moving down and over his neck, and to his shoulders, making out every piece of him she could reach as she looked down at where her servos were.

She knew they were going to take their time, to learn every inch of one another. So she took her time letting her digits trace over the seams over his plating, looking at where her digits rolled over, mapping out every piece of him with her touch and optics as she watched as her digits continued to trail over him. Starscream groaned as she ran her servos over his frame, every movement of her digits sending sparks of pleasure skittering through his circuits. He could feel the bond between their sparks flaring to life, their minds now so deeply intertwined that he wasn't entirely sure where he ended and she began.

He tilted his head to the side, his optics shuttering as he allowed her to touch and explore him. He'd never let anyone have this much access to him before. But now, he would let her in ways he'd never allowed anyone.

Her digits moved to his chest, moving with feather light touches as she leaned forward and placed light kisses against his shoulders, a few on his neck before she moved to continue to trace her digits over his chest before moving to his arms, her servos going to one at a time as she held his arm in one servo and the digits of the other traced over every seam before doing so with the other.

She slowly leaned down a bit to kiss over his chest as she let her digits fall to his abdomen as she began tracing over it. She slowly sunk down to her knees as she placed a soft kiss to the middle of his abdomen, leaving a small trail of kisses as her digits moved down to his thighs. She knew once she was finished he’d get his turn to do the same. She moved to place a kiss to the front of his right thigh before letting her digits trace over the seams on the inside and outside before they moved down to his calf, then she moved to his left leg and did the same.

Starscream tried to hold himself together as she kissed and touched his frame, but his control began to fray as she slowly traced her servos over his frame, gently exploring his seams and plating, learning every dip and curve of his frame. He could barely form a coherent thought, sparks dancing through his neural circuitry and leaving him trembling, desperate for more contact, more touches, more *anything*. He swallowed a moan as she moved to kiss his abdominal plating, the sensitive metal quivering beneath her touch. He felt both weak and powerful at once, a paradoxical mixture of desire and vulnerability.

She slowly rose to her feet as she grabbed hold of his face and placed a soft kiss to his lips before walking back behind him. Her digits continued to trail over the back of his helm and down to his neck and shoulders before she placed a soft kiss to each wing, feeling as he shuttered and let out a few soft sighs as her digits trailed over the sensitive metal. She slowly sunk to her knees against as her digits moved to his back tracing over delicate seems as she placed soft kisses to the small of his back, her servos running over his sides before running over the back of his thighs. She was worshiping his body as he was soon going to do to hers before she slowly stood up and walked back infront of him as she laid her servos on his cheeks and placed a quick and soft kiss against his lips and let him do the same worshiping she had done.

His spark fluttered in his chest as she slowly started making her way back upwards, planting gentle kisses and leaving a trail of sensations in her wake. He found himself trembling as her servos traced over his wings, the metal quivering under her touch.

She then slowly sank back down to her knees, and he almost lost control right there when she kissed the small of his back. He let out a strangled gasp as he felt his legs go weak beneath him, his processor swimming with sensation and desire. And then she was standing in front of him again, her servos gently holding his cheeks, and he found himself staring into her optics with a look of raw desire and need. She had almost brought him to his knees with just those few simple touches, and he was itching to return the favor.

Slowly, almost reverently, he raised a servo to cup the side of her face, his touch gentle yet trembling with anticipation. He pulled her closer, their frames nearly pressed against one another as he leaned down to press a kiss against the sensitive cluster of wires on her neck. He slowly started to kiss his way down her neck, his lips trailing a path over her plating, caressing every seam, every edge, every dip and contour. He wanted to taste every inch of her, to memorize every bit of her frame like a prayer, like a litany of devotion.

He sank down to his knees in front of her, moving his lips to her chest as his servos moved to rest on either side of her waist. Slowly, he mapped out the delicate metal of her abdominal plating with his servos, his lips following after, leaving behind a barrage of kisses and nips. He continued to slowly make his way down her frame, savoring the taste and feel of her under his touch, and he soon found himself at her thighs. His servos gently caressed her legs, and he slowly planted a trail of kisses up and down one thigh before mirroring the gesture on the other side.

He took a moment to simply kneel there, his servos gently holding her hips, his face pressed against her plating, every part of him wanting to be as close to her as possible. He felt lost, like he was sinking in a sea of sensation and desire. But he wouldn't trade it for the universe. She let out soft sighs as she watched him slowly begin to worship her body, kissing over every inch of her plating as his digits and servos ran over her body, sinking to his knees how she had done with him. She looked down at him with pure love and adoration in her optics as she watched him hold her sides as he placed kisses to her abdomen once again.

She watched as he let his forehead lay there and she laid her servo on the back of his helm before she watched him stand and he slowly walked behind her to begin the process over again, her optics falling shut as she processed every feeling over every touch he gave to her, every bit of attention he payed to her frame. Starscream slowly ran his servos up and down the sides of her back, his touch light and almost worshiping as he continued the journey of his lips and fingers over her body. He couldn't get enough of the way she trembled and shivered under his touch, the sounds of her sighs and the flutter of her spark sending waves of pleasure through his chest.

His servos continued to travel, mapping out the lines and planes of her back, his lips leaving a trail of kisses along the edge of her wings and down her spine. He took his time, relishing the feeling of her sensitive wings quivering and fluttering under his touch, the way she let out a particularly shaky breath when he placed a kiss between her wings, the sound making his spark flutter in his chest.

He felt as if he was drowning in sensations, all of his processing power focused on the goddess in front of him, on the way her frame felt against his lips, how her spark flared in time with his, the feeling of their minds dancing together through their bond. He continued the journey, his lips slowly moving down the length of her back, each kiss and touch filled with need and desire. He paused when he reached the small of her back, his servos gently holding her hips as he laid a kiss there, before continuing downward.

He moved down her legs, slowly mapping out the sensitive metal with his lips and servos, every inch of her frame feeling like electricity under his touch. And when he was once again at her feet, he slowly moved back up her frame, his servos gently gripping her hips as he rose to his feet, his helm still bowed against her back. He felt as if he had just offered a prayer to a deity, leaving his spark bared and his desires laid in an offering as he pressed a soft kiss to the nape of her neck.

She let out a soft sigh as he finished and place a soft kiss to her neck, his arms wrapped around her waist as he held her. She slowly broke away as she turned around grabbed his servo as she slowly walked backwards towards his berth and once the backs of her legs hit it she wrapped her arms around his neck, the back of her left servo moving to run over the side of his face. She looked into his optics with a loving look in her half lidded optics, spoken ‘i love you’s’ being sent through their shared bond as they gazed into each other’s optics. She took her time to just gaze into his optics and enjoy the mech who gazed back.

Starscream's processor was nearly swimming with sensation, his whole being overwhelmed with love, desire, and a deep sense of *rightness* as he held her there, their bodies pressed together and their minds tangled through the bond.

He let out a shaky breath as he looked into her optics, that deep red now swimming with emotion. He returned her silent ‘I love you,’ his own words echoing through their connection. His servos gently caressed her back, his touch needy and tender at once. He wanted to stay like that forever, drowning in her presence, drowning in her touch. Nothing in this universe compared to her, no feeling, no sensation matched what he felt now. Slowly, gently, he lowered her back onto his berth, his frame following as he pressed his body against hers, his lips against her neck once more.

She slowly laid back against the berth and she turned to go back against the berth until her helm laid against his pillows as he followed her, his body hovering over hers as he leaned down to place a soft kiss to her neck. He was settled with his left leg between her legs and his right on the outside of her left.

She ran her servos over his chest and down his abdomen before slowly making their way back up and she wrapped her arms around his neck, one servo on the back of his head as he placed kisses to her neck. Starscream groaned softly against her neck, his frame shuddering against hers at the touch of her servos on his plating. He continued to kiss and nip at her neck, one of his servos holding himself up on the berth beside her while the other traced a path between her legs.

He was already starting to lose what little restraint he had at the feeling of their frames pressed together like this, and he fought to keep his desire in check. He pulled away from her neck for a moment to look into her optics, his own optics dark and burning with need. He wanted her, needed her, more than anything he'd ever needed in his life. But he wouldn't rush this. He would go slow, worship her slowly and properly like the deity she was. He wouldn't ruin this with haste or impatience.

He gently rolled his hips against hers, the metal between his legs rubbing against her plating, sending shivers of sensation up his frame. She let out a soft sigh as she felt his servo slowly begin trailing down the middle of her body and between her legs. Her right leg moved so her foot was planted against the berth and her knee in the air as he panel slid open. She sighed softly as she felt two of his digits slowly roll soft and slow circles into her bud.

She closed her optics and laid her helm back as she let out a small sigh of pleasure. The way he seemed to worship her as if she were a goddess was doing things to her, making her feel as if she was the only femme in the universe, as if she was truly worth something. Starscream's sensors were flooded with the knowledge that she was ready for him, the feeling and sight of her panel opening for him like an offering. He groaned softly at the feeling of her bud on his digits, the taste of her pleasure and anticipation filling his processor.

He took a moment to adjust himself above her, his frame settling in the space between her legs, his servos on either side of her helm as he looked down at her laid out on his berth like the most beautiful of gifts. His servos gently grabbed her arms and placed her servos above her helm, pinning her to the berth as his lips moved to her neck once more. He wanted her at his mercy, at his complete control, completely at his mercy as she was now, ready and waiting for him.

He pressed his body against hers, still moving slowly, still taking his time worshiping her, but he could feel the last fraying threads of his restraint beginning to snap. His frame trembled with need, his cooling fans running full throttle as his lips continued to move over her neck and his servos slowly roved over her frame. He couldn't get enough of her, couldn't feel enough of her, and he suddenly needed to taste her, to feel her against his lips.

Without warning, he left her pinning and moved back down her frame until he was between her spread legs, his optics burning and his vocalizer practically hissing as he looked up at her. She gasped as he pinned her wrists above her head, his lips working against his neck before he suddenly let go and slid down the berth so he was in between her legs. She looked down at him as she bit her lip, watching as he pulled her legs over his shoulders. She was careful of his wings, making sure to lay them just under his wings.

She slowly let her optics fall closed as she felt his glossa against her anterior node, softly laying kitten licks against it before leaning in to softly suck on it before pulling back as he leaned down and licked at her entrance and she let out a soft moan with every lick of his glossa and kiss placed around the inside of her thighs. Starscream heard the sound of her gasp as he settled his frame between her legs, and it was quickly followed by the sound of her moan as his glossa slowly worked against her sensitive node.

He felt himself teetering on the edge of restraint and he fought to hold himself together a little longer, his servos gripping her legs and his lips and glossa working against her sensitive areas. He felt a rush and power as he tasted her, as her frame shuddered and quivered against his touch. He continued to taste her, his glossa teasing and exploring her, his servos moving across her thighs, leaving behind a trail of marks and kisses wherever they went. He found himself drowning in the sensations and the taste of her, in the sounds of her moans and the feel of her frame beneath his lips and servos.

He felt the last fraying threads of his restraint beginning to snap, the rush of power and need overriding any and all control he had left in him. He leaned back, pulling himself up onto his knees, still between her legs, his servos grabbing her hips and lifting her slightly off the berth. She let out a sharp gasp as her optics flew open as he moved to his knees and grabbed her hips, pulling her up. She looked down at him, her legs down dangling against the berth below her, not high enough to stand but now low enough to be on her knees. She laid her servo on his helm as she let out small moans as he ate her like a mech starved.

She began rolling her hips into his mouth as she practically rode his face, feeling the tip of his rose against her bud with every roll of her hips, moan after main soft falling from her lips as her head tilted back and she let herself get lost in the pleasure he provided. The feeling of her hips rolling into his mouth, the taste of her against his glossa, the sounds of her moans and gasps filling his audio processors drove him even further towards the edge of madness. He felt like he was drowning, overwhelmed by her, lost in the pleasure and need he felt for her.

His servos tightened around her hips as he continued to taste her, his grip probably leaving marks on her plating, but he couldn't bring himself to care right then. He felt her servo against his helm, and he almost wanted to purr in satisfaction at the feeling of her touching him, her touch only adding to the sensations bombarding his processor. He wanted to touch her, taste her, take her in every possible way, and he was rapidly losing what little control he had left.

It didn’t take much more of his assault and the rolling of her hips before she overloaded with a louder and shaky moan as her legs twitched and her thighs instinctively closed around his helm as her frame trembled with pleasure. Her optics were closed as she let out shallower moans following each after shock of her overload. She felt his servos go to the small of her back before he slowly leaned forward and placed her back against the berth once more as her thighs slowly released his helm from the grasp. her optics were closed as her vents came in shaky and quick as she tried to recover.

Starscream was lost in the feeling of her overload, the taste of her on his mouth as her frame trembled against him. He felt as if he was drunk on her, his servos shaking as he moved them to the small of her back. He slowly laid her back on the berth, his frame hovering above hers as he saw her chest rising and falling with each shaky breath she took. His servos slowly moved from under her to lay over the front of her thighs. He was consumed with need for her, his processor swimming with a thousand desires.

He slowly moved up her frame, each inch of his plating coming into contact with hers like a prayer, his servos slowly roaming over her body like a blind mech trying to memorize his surroundings, like a mech worshipping at his patron goddess's altar. By the time he finally reached her optics, he felt as if he was drowning, the sheer amount of desire and need he felt for her almost overwhelming him. He gently cupped her helm between his servos, his voice coming out in a deep, lust-filled hiss. "Need you," he said, the words more a plea than a demand.

She looked up into his optics as she was finally able to open hers as she felt his servos move to cup her cheeks. She reached slowly to hold onto his wrists as her legs moved off of his shoulders and back to being on either side of him, her feet against the berth and her knees by his hips. She gazed lovingly into his optics as she gave him a nod to let him know to go ahead and she gave him a loving smile.

She heard as his interface panel slowly slid open and his spike pressurized. She leaned up and laid a soft kiss against his lips, tasing herself on them before she laid her helm back against the pillow as she watched him look down as he moved his right knee and thigh under her leg before slowly pushing into her. She let out a small moan as her optics fell closed at the slow stretch as he slowly pushed inside of her valve. She could feel and every bump and ridge on his spike and it only added to the slow pleasure.

His systems were almost overwhelmed with sensation, her touch, the feeling of her lips against his, her valve enveloping him as he slowly pushed into her was bringing him undone faster than any other experience in his life. He felt like a drowning mech, lost in her, completely at her mercy and he only wanted more of her, needed more of her, more of her in every possible way. He leaned down and laid a kiss on her neck, his voice coming out in a low, needy hiss. "Only you," he said, his voice thick with overwhelming emotion.

He continued to push forward, his helm burying against her neck as he went deeper. She was all he could think about, all he could feel, all he could smell or taste. He was lost, drowning in her, drunk on his need for her. He kept his mouth on her neck, his glossa tracing a path across the metal as he slowly rocked into her, one of his servos moving to rest on her hip as the other moved to grab her servo and intertwine it her digits with his as he started thrusting at a slow pace to get her used to him.

She held onto his servo as she felt him begin to slowly move, his whispered words only fortified the love she held for him. The unspoken words of love that traveled through their bond as he slowly began to move his hips, pulling out slowly before slowly pushing back in. She felt as he slowly began to build up his pace. It was neither slow and soft but neither rough and fast. It was somewhere in between, thrusts deep and sensual as he kissed and sucked at the cables of her neck. nipping at certain spots, feeling as his glossa would run over the spots he’d sink his teeth into.

Starscream was already lost in her, every circuit and sensor in his processor overwhelmed by her, consumed by her as they moved together. He felt like he was drowning, lost in the sensations of her and the love he felt for her. He felt the love coming from her through their bond, and it only fueled his need for her. His lips and glossa continued to kiss and nip a path across her neck, his pace picking up slightly as his need for her grew. He could feel her frame beneath him, the way she held onto his servos, the sounds of her pleasured moans in his audio receptors. It was overwhelming, more than he'd ever experienced in his life. And it was all her, all her causing him feel to this way.

He found himself slowly picking up the pace, the pleasure becoming too much for him to go slow any longer. He found himself moving deeper, harder, his servos gripping her hips tighter. His lips continued to find any patch of metal they could, kissing and nipping at it before he pulled back slightly. She was starting to loose herself in the mind numbing pleasure, her processor slowly going blank as she lost herself. She practically couldn’t tell where she ended and he began. She could feel his pace quicken and she let out a string of louder moans as she slowly opened her optics to look up at him as he pulled away.

she could feel herself being pushed towards another overload extremely quickly as her legs moved to wrap around his hips. Every thrust of his hips against her own driving his spike back inside of her and his hip plating sliding over her anterior node. She reached up with her free servo and pulled him into a kiss as her chest plating opened up once again to reveal her spark to him. His processor was nearly shut down, every thought, every circuit, every servo now centered on her and the ecstasy he was feeling. Every circuit, every sensor, every spark beat of his screaming for her, needing her, burning for her.

He didn't hesitate in returning the kiss, his mouth hungrily claiming hers as his own, his glossa slipping into her mouth to claim it as his own. He could feel the sensation of her legs wrapped around his waist, her anterior node rubbing against his plating, her spark exposed and open to him. He pulled back from the kiss, his chest plates opening up to reveal his own spark as he lost himself completely. He was completely lost in her, drowning in her, consumed by desire and the need to be connected to her in every way.

He leaned forward, leaning his frame over hers so that they were pressed as closely together as possible. His servos moved to the back of her thighs, gripping them tightly as his pace picked up even more. She heard his chest plating slide open as he pulled away, leaning down against her, his helm leaning into the crook of her neck as his servos hooked under her thighs, untangling them from around his hips and pressing them down towards her, almost folding her in half as his pace quickened further.

She could feel his spark pulling at hers, her consciousness diving back into his very soul and being. Their pleasure being reflected back at one another until they both were on the edge of their overloads before he thrusted into her one last time before he began filling her with his transfluid. Their sparks connecting, the pleasure bouncing back and forth between them, almost consuming them. He felt like he was being set aflame, his consciousness drowning in hers. The only thought, the only sensation, the only thing that existed right then was her, her being, her very self. She was everything to him, everything he ever wanted, everything he needed.

He heard a low, throaty moan rip from his vocalizer as he thrusted one last time into her, feeling his transfluid fill her. His cooling fans were on high, his frame shuddering against hers, his servos gripping her thighs almost painfully. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t do anything but feel her, feel every part of her. He was drowning, lost in her, completely and utterly lost in it all. She moaned with him, her back arching up to press her midsection against his, their chests already pressed together. Her head had fallen back and was pressed hard against the pillow beneath it before she finally began to come down from her overload, her body resting back against the berth.

She could feel his borderline painful grip on her thighs before he finally started to leg of them, letting them fall back gently against the berth as he panted against her shoulder. She moved her arm to lay it over her optics as her cooling fans ran on the highest setting trying desperately to keep her body from overheating at the exertion. He continued to pant softly for a few moments, his systems still rebooting and taking a few moments to come down from the overload. He managed to raise his helm and look at her.

He felt like he was in a daze, as if he'd just woken up from the best dream of his life. His body was still shaking, his fans still loud as they went into overdrive trying to cool him down. He looked down at her, and he thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. He slowly raised himself up off her, still panting as he tried to get his fans under control. His servos gently let go of her thighs, slowly running down the length of her body as he tried to come down, tried to recover.

He took a few more deep ventilations before he laid himself down next to her, feeling completely wrung out as he looked at her, his expression one of pure awe and adoration. Once the pair calmed down from it all she removed her arm from over her optics as she heard him shuffle, hearing his chest plates closing as well as his interface panel shutting closed as he moved to lay down on his chest next to her. She opened her optics and turned her helm to the side to look into his.

She could feel his exhaustion through the bond and she could see the pure love in his optics as he looked at her laying beside of him, his arms crossed under his helm. She couldn’t help but smile at him as she weakly moved her arm over to lay a servo against his cheek. He closed his optics and leaned into her touch, the feeling of her servo against his cheek like a soothing caress after the storm they had just gone through. He felt complete and utterly wrung out, but happier than he could ever recall being in his life.

He opened his optics again and looked into hers, the expression on his face filled with a soft look of love and contentment. He reached out and laid his own servo on top of hers, gently holding it against his cheek. He lifted his helm slightly, turning his mouth towards her servo and gently laying a quick kiss against the metal as he gave her a soft smile. He lowered his helm back onto his outstretched arms and just laid there, looking into her optics and holding her servo against his cheek.

No words could adequately convey all the things he was feeling right then. His spark was full of love for her, his entire being consumed with it as he looked into her optics. He did however speak up, “Do you want me to go get you some energon?”

She smiled as he grabbed her servo, gently holding it against his cheek after placing a soft kiss against it. She let her her optics fall half lidded before they opened back up all the way as he spoke. She slowly retracted her hand and gave him a small nod before speaking up her voice a bit hoarse, “If you wouldn’t mind…” She gave him another soft smile as she laid her arm over her chest as her vents grab evening out and her cooling fans slowly began to slowly slow to a to a stop once she started reaching a better temperature.

He nodded softly as he slowly sat up, his frame protesting slightly at the movement after the activities of the evening. He moved to stand up, but stopped once he was sitting on the edge of the berth. He looked over at her, still laid out on the berth, and he couldn't resist the urge to reach out and gently run his servo over her cheek, unable to keep his servos off her for even a moment. "I'll be right back," he said quietly before reluctantly standing up and heading out to the main room.

He walked into the main room, immediately moving over to the energon dispenser on the far wall and pouring two cubes, one for himself and one for her. As he watched the liquid energon fill up the cube, he thought of her laid out on the berth, of the things they had just done together.

He felt happy, he felt content, he felt at peace. A feeling he was still somewhat unfamiliar with and had certainly never experienced before meeting her. He walked back to the berthroom and he finished his drink quickly, setting the now empty cube on the table next to the berth. He laid down on his side, his helm supported by his servo, as he looked down at her. He could see exhaustion starting to creep into her optics, and the knowledge that he had been responsible for it brought a faint smile to his face.

He laid his free servo on her abdomen, gently rubbing his thumb against her plating in a soft, soothing gesture. She watched as he disappeared out of the door to the his berthroom and she slowly pushed herself up on her servos and slowly scooted back and stretched her neck and arms a bit. Her legs were a bit sore and unstable but she was otherwise pretty okay. She looked up when she heard pedesteps and she smiled as she saw her now sparkmate with a energon cube in hand.

She reached out as he neared her and took it in her servos as he moved to may down on his side, his wings moving to accommodate him. She slowly brought it to her lips and took a long drink of it. She drank about a quarter of it before taking it from her lips and she turned to look at him as he laid a servo on her abdomen. “hmm… i love you…” She whispered before bringing her energon cube back to her lips and drinking it down to half the cube. He smiled softly at her words, his spark singing happily in his chest as he heard her proclaim her love for him.

He rubbed his thumb gently against her plating once more, gently circling his digit across the metal in soft, soothing motions. “I love you too,” he replied quietly as he continued to look down at her, his optics filled with love and adoration. She brought her energon cube back to her lips and drank down the rest of it before twisting away for a moment to set it down on the nightstand beside of her before she settled back down in the berth next to him with a small smile as she watched as he sat up and laid down on his back. She chuckled before she weakly crawled ontop of him.

She settled comfortably with her helm tucked under his. She let her optics fall closed, just enjoying the feeling of his warmth beneath her, the best of his spark in her audial, it was like a soothing balm to her mind and was slowly beginning to coax her exhausted body into recharge. He chuckled softly as she moved ontop of him, his arms automatically wrapping around her frame as she settled against him. He found himself almost reluctant to move, her warm frame on his was the most amazing feeling he'd ever experienced in his life.

He let out a soft sigh of contentment as he settled back against the berth, his servos gently running up and down her back in a soothing motion, his own optics slowly beginning to shut down as he relaxed. The beat of their sparks syncing in a slow, reassuring rhythm, lulling them both into recharge.

[teadari]

⭑Fear of the Dark/Loneliness Part 3⭑

⚛ Mr. Crawling ⚛

Author shxxkurakaze

From the earliest days, as far back as your consciousness could grasp the world, darkness had always been more to you than just the absence of light. It was something dense, shifting, alive. It seemed as though the darkness had a will of its own, closing in around you like a cunning predator, patiently waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Oh, how difficult and hopeless it was in those moments to persuade your heart to stay calm! It would tremble and pound so loudly, as if it wanted to escape the cage of your ribs and run far away.

The light would fade, and the world would freeze, as if holding its breath, awaiting something inevitable. The corners of rooms, once innocent and unremarkable, became unfathomably deep, as though they extended into infinity, while every rustle and faint sound took on menacing shapes. Imagination, that cruel trickster, rushed to adorn the silence with a thousand images: unseen hands reaching out from the darkness, shadowy figures appearing in distant corners.

And then, amidst this silent terror, he would appear — Mr. Crawling, or as you called him in your mind, Podkradulka. Like the darkness itself, he was inherently frightening, but his arrival was never accompanied by malice. His steps — if they could even be called steps — were imperceptible, like the touch of a breeze, and his presence felt like a faint chill on your skin, as though the door to a frosty night had been left ajar. He was not sinister in the sense of harboring ill intent, but his very nature, born from the unknowable recesses of consciousness, inspired awe and reverence.

Crawling was a paradox: both terrifying and comforting at once. His movements, fluid and nearly invisible, seemed like an extension of the darkness itself. Yet there was something strangely soothing in them, something reminiscent of a bedtime story whispered in childhood.

"Are you scared?" came his question, breaking the silence of a deep night, when the room was shrouded in thickly woven shadows. His voice sounded so muffled, as if the darkness itself had spun an invisible thread to speak on his behalf.

You took him with you, unable to leave him behind in those mysterious apartments where he had first appeared to you. For it was then, when the world around you had turned into a tangle of frightening visions, that his barely noticeable presence granted you something akin to peace. Perhaps he didn’t fully understand all of your fears, but his silent proximity felt meaningful, felt necessary.

"Yes, I’m scared..." your teeth chattered, echoing your whisper, as you pressed your back against the wall, trying to find a sliver of certainty that the real world wouldn’t dissolve into this unexplored darkness. "I see nothing, and the thought of what might happen is just as frightening."

Crawling, it seemed, understood the depth of your anxiety in his own way. The words he spoke during your occasional conversations didn’t need to be loud; they came from the secrets and tumultuous depths of an unknown consciousness. And so, by staying near, he became the embodiment of fleeting doubt: terrifying yet calm, offering a strange sense of reassurance amidst the unsteady shadows.

Understanding human fear is a complex matter, not one easily grasped by all. Mr. Crawling, as though the very spirit of darkness incarnate, was born from its heart and lived within its depths. He was the shadows that glided along the walls; he was the whisper that lingered in the void; he was part of everything humanity sought to avoid in the stillness of the night. He could never comprehend what it meant to fear the dark, just as a fish could never fear the water it was born into. Darkness didn’t frighten him — on the contrary, it was his essence, his dwelling. Yet, despite this lack of fear, there burned within him a strange curiosity about this mortal emotion — so alien, so incomprehensible, and yet so eloquent.

He watched you as you paced from corner to corner, seeking refuge from the very air, which seemed to grow heavier with each passing minute of the deepening night. He saw how you burrowed beneath your blanket, wrapping yourself as though in impenetrable armor. He noticed how your hands trembled, clutching the switch of your desk lamp as if it were your last and only talisman against the overwhelming dread. Even the feeble light of the lamp — pitiful, flickering, almost laughable in its helplessness against the all-encompassing darkness — you held onto as a child clings to their mother’s hand, afraid to take their first step into the unknown.

"I’m here," his quiet voice resonated, not through words but through the very air that filled the room, slipping into your consciousness like the whisper of wind. His head slowly rested on your shoulder. His arms — long, thin — wrapped around you gently, not tightly, but enough to hold you.

He didn’t know what he was doing — it held no meaning for him. He simply leaned toward you, like a tree bending in the wind, trying to comfort you without understanding why. Your tears unsettled him, though he couldn’t grasp what it meant to cry from fear. It was unbearable for him to see your body trembling, your heart pounding in your chest so rapidly it seemed as though it might burst free and flee far away from everything frightening.

"Don’t be afraid," he whispered, though the words themselves held no meaning for him as they did for you. They were merely sounds, but with those sounds, he seemed to offer you his silence, his cold, infinite, yet strangely soothing darkness.

[hxltic]

this one might get me cancelled but i gotta get it off my chest.

Kristoff is big and strong— everybody knows that. But with that said, he’s an amazing person in general, very in touch with his emotions and going above and beyond for who he loves.

Sweet as pie, both beauty and braun, the snow clings to his bright blonde hair, reddening his cheeks to an embarrassing shade that he’s grown accustomed to.

godDAMN is he fine. No amount of imagery can do him justice. And I just know that with his acts of service love language, there isn’t a thing he wouldn’t be on his knees for if you desired it.

He manhandles you in bed. He manhandles you with everything. He grabs you, and his hands are delicate, careful not to break and shatter you everywhere as if you were sharp ice, but still lifting your weight effortlessly. It’s what he’s been doing all his life.

He’s a big, warm, man, and so are his kisses. One hand rests at your nape, the other wrapped around your back to pull you close. His sensitive skin is flushed, per usual, indicative of the growing hardness in front of you, but he doesn’t seem to care as he curls his head to reach deeper into your mouth.

And once you get farther into what you’re doing he’s tending to more than just your lips. He’s finding spots that make you squirm with a gentle finger ghosting your clit through your leggings, sucking in your whines desperately.

I don’t even have to go into depth about the way he eats pussy. Once you get past the first time, he’s a quick learner. Whole face is down when he devours you, not caring that your thighs are squeezing his cheeks and ears, licking and sucking with his eyes closed like there just isn’t anything that can pull him away. The tip of his nose glistens. You’re twisting and turning but instead of holding you down, he focuses on the task at hand and follows wherever you lead his head.

And when you finally take him out, you find that his length matches the rest of him. Only a few shades darker of a pink at the tip, wide in your hands, thick all the way around and the pale skin smooth. He’s sitting on the bed looking down at you sheepishly.

Running a hand down his red face, he goes, “Hey, you don’t have to do that,” not knowing what to hold onto— the sheets, your shoulders, or your hair. Even though you’re just repaying the favor he’s still so so sweet, telling you that you don’t have to despite the tangy aftertaste of your release still on his tongue.

You’re already wrapping your lips around his head, seemingly ignoring him, and rotating your hands along the shaft. “Oh God,” he groans, slightly squirming, not entirely knowing what to do, or rather, what boundaries to push.

Fast forward to when he’s on the verge of painting your face, finally with his hands resting gently in your hair, asking what he should do. But he’s breathing so heavily, and speaking so frantically, and trying to hold back from absolutely exploding, that with his fat cock in your mouth, you honestly have no idea what the hell is going on.

“Shit shit shit, baby where? Where can I- oh fuck,” his head tips back, but nothing happens yet. Somehow, he prayed to everything he loves that he wouldn’t come without an answer first. “Tell me, please,” he pleads quickly, out of breath.

You’re basically edging him with the way you have no response. It’s a mission that you’re programmed into now, consistently bobbing your head and allowing saliva to fall from your lips to trickle to his full balls. Then finally, your answer is “im ma mmph,” and Kristoff fully understood what it meant. Or if he didn’t, oops.

He outwardly groans as you splutter and take in the new warmth. His eyes are shut tight as he hisses at the feeling, cursing into the air and gripping your hair tight but careful not to pull.

Then you pop off, mouth covered in a mix of you, him, and everything in between. You blink up at him with those pretty, wet eyes. There’s a giant, devious smile on your face, and you use his knees to haul yourself up so you can see him eye-to-eye.

He stares back, eyes low but illuminating with afterglow. And when you beg, “please?” without even saying to what, he knows exactly what it is, and he also knows that he’s completely and utterly fucked.

He roughly grabs you by your underarms and switches your positions on the bed. He’s determined as he holds under your knees and forces them up when you fall back giggling, coming to hover above you and leaving kisses and marks down your neck. You place your hands to his sides.

In the meantime, he strokes his length a few times, just to remember what it’s like. Then he’s nudging himself along your folds, eyes still closed and nose behind your ear.

Suddenly, he rises above you again. His tip inches in but leaves as quickly as it came, leaving your whine floating in the air and a pout forming on your lips. “Kris,” your eyes close.

“No, I want you to watch it,” he demands, forcing your head up to look. He slips in, the both of you scoping intently, a gasp falling from your lips. His balls must tighten when your big eyes flicker up to him with your mouth agape.

“You feel so good, you don’t even know,” he sighs. And he’s pushing until he’s bottomed out, then retracting with the same motion, just to continue pumping back and forth into the warmth.

He’s so wide that it takes a bit to adjust, but when it does it’s perfect. He leaves no space unfilled. “S’big,” you moan.

There are the blonde’s moments where he is prideful.

“You can take it,” he smirks at you with that smile, kissing your forehead and speeding up to a rougher pace. His large hands come to the dips of your hips.

“Huuuhn, f-fuck,” the force cuts you off, forcing your hands to hold his wrists that grasp you. His large frame is overwhelming.

There’s a focus to his expression, like if he hit you at any wrong angle all of the progress would dissipate. He had absolutely nothing to worry about, but you can see the tenseness in his face. “Feels good, just like that.”

He glances past his hair, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you giggle, which ultimately dissolved into a moan. “Can feel you.”

He removes a hand to place it on your lower belly, looking between his thrusts and your face, “Here?”

As an answer, you throw your head back as far as it will go, groaning at the newfound pleasure. “Yes.”

He could feel himself going in and out, and the pressure had you reeling. It didn’t help that he was consistently hitting that bundle of nerves and activating all your senses at once.

Maintaining the force and speed, he grabs one of your hands and interlocks your fingers, leaving the hand on your tummy there. He comes forward and pushes it up the bed until you’re stretched out, leaving your other hand to have to relocate to his side. He begins to grind slowly. “Ugh, ‘m gonna come,” you whine.

“Go ahead. Wanna feel how tight you wrap around me before you drain me first,” he laughs breathlessly.

It’s only a few more and you’re doing exactly as he said, stilling in the silence of the bed moving and seeing white.

“Oh my god.”

©️ hxltic

[hueningsloverr]

౨ৎ 60 months !

pairing: taehyun x reader summary: a close-knit relationship with taehyun is something to be earned, and you seemed to have done just that. word count: 1.1k extra: have we all gotten over txt world tour? I HAVENT !! go terry fuck it up!! apart of my anniversary series that i accidentally never finished!

taehyun was unlike anyone you had ever met before - and that was saying something considering you knew many people. he was more reserved than others, yet at the same time he was so outgoing.

his duality was what drew you to him initially - how could one person have so many different personalities? then you found out he was an idol, and it made a decent amount of sense. it was apart of his job to act one way on camera and another for the different concepts. when he was off camera he was able to be himself.

what drew taehyun to you was the fact that you studied his behavior; every time he did something that seemed out of line for how he acted that day, you payed great attention to it. it was almost as if you took mental notes on how he acted so you could draw out a map of behavior.

but you’d never fully be able to uncover every last detail about the boy, and he’d never fully know everything about you either.

it was a fact that both of you had come to terms with early on in your friendship, and though at times you seemed displeased by it, you largely accepted the fact.

still, there were moments when you felt an unspoken understanding between the two of you, like you could read each other's thoughts without needing words. taehyun had a way of looking at you, his eyes soft yet probing, as if he were trying to see the depths of your soul. in those moments, the walls he built around himself seemed to crumble, even if just for a second.

as your friendship grew, so did your curiosity. you found yourself wanting to know more about the person behind the stage persona, the real taehyun who laughed at silly jokes and pondered over the mysteries of life.

and he, in turn, seemed equally intrigued by you. your quiet confidence, the way you seemed to observe the world with a discerning eye, fascinated him.

there were late-night conversations that spanned hours, where you shared your dreams, fears, and everything in between. it was during these times that you felt the closest to him, and you cherished these moments more than anything. yet, despite the bond you shared, there was always a part of him that remained elusive, just out of reach.

one evening, after a particularly grueling day of rehearsals, taehyun invited you to the rooftop of the building. the city lights sparkled below, and the night air was cool against your skin. he leaned against the railing, gazing out into the distance.

"you know," he began, his voice barely above a whisper, "sometimes i wonder if anyone truly knows me. not the idol, but the real me."

you turned to him, searching his face for any hint of emotion. "i think people see different parts of you," you said gently. "and maybe that's enough. maybe we're not meant to be fully understood by anyone."

he nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "maybe you're right. but hey, i'm glad i at least have you. you seem to see me in ways others don't."

your heart swelled at his words. it wasn't a grand declaration, but it was enough.

in that moment, you knew that the connection you shared with him was special, even if there were parts of him that remained a mystery.

as the night wore on, you stood there together, comfortable in the silence, knowing that some things were better left unsaid. and that was okay. because sometimes, the beauty of a relationship lies in its complexities, and the unspoken understanding that comes with it.

days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. your bond with taehyun only deepened. you became his confidant, the person he turned to when the pressures of fame became too much. you listened without judgment, offering him a safe space to express his worries and fears.

one evening, after a long day of interviews and photoshoots, taehyun showed up at your door, looking more exhausted than you had ever seen him. without a word, you let him in and led him to the couch. he collapsed onto it, letting out a deep sigh.

"rough day?" you asked softly, sitting down beside him.

he nodded, closing his eyes. "you have no idea. sometimes it feels like i'm being pulled in a thousand different directions, and i can't keep up."

you placed a hand on his shoulder, offering him a comforting squeeze. "you're doing amazing, tyun. it's okay to feel overwhelmed. just remember to take care of yourself too."

he opened his eyes and looked at you, a hint of gratitude in his gaze. "thank you. i seriously don't know what I'd do without you."

you smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "i'm always here for you."

in that moment, you realized just how much taehyun meant to you. he wasn't just a friend; he was someone you cared about deeply, someone you wanted to see happy and thriving. and you knew he felt the same about you.

as time went on, your relationship with him continued to evolve. you attended his concerts, cheering him on from the crowd. you celebrated his successes and comforted him during his lows. and through it all, your bond only grew stronger.

one rainy afternoon, taehyun invited you to his favorite café, a cozy little place tucked away from the bustling city streets. the sound of raindrops tapping against the window created a soothing backdrop as you sipped your coffee.

"i've been thinking a lot lately," taehyun said, breaking the comfortable silence. "about life, about us."

you looked up from your cup, curiosity piqued. "what about us?"

he took a deep breath, his expression serious. "i know we've always said that we can't fully know everything about each other, and i've come to terms with that. but i also think… maybe that's what makes our relationship so special. we keep discovering new things about each other, and it keeps things interesting."

you nodded, understanding where he was coming from. "i know what you mean - it's like we're on this journey, together, and there's always something new."

a small smile played on his lips. "exactly. and i wouldn't want it any other way. "i've been at this for sixty months, you know?" he added, pausing slightly while he tried to formulate the proper words. "and until you i've never met someone who wasn't one of the boys that could even somewhat understand me."

in that moment, you felt a profound sense of contentment. you realized it didn't matter if you knew every last thing about taehyun, simply knowing him in the slightest was enough.

"well, here's to me making sixty months of progress in just a few months." you grinned, raising your coffee cup in a joking manner.

"here's to you - to us."

a/n: finally returning to this series after like 4 months whoopsies

©2024 - all rights reserved to hueningsloverr, please do not plagiarise or translate any of my work

[pdriesta]

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“even when it’s bad, i love you”

pairing — trentxblack!girl

genre — angst, angst and more angst

word count —10k

summary — y/n and trent's once strong relationship is strained by his growing distance and her unexpected pregnancy. as they clash over their future, y/n faces the painful choice of leaving behind the love and they love they worked so hard creating. will they overcome their struggles and rebuild their love, or will their fractured bond break beyond repair?

an — the end!! thank you for all the support on this journey. this chapter is dear to me because even though it may seem repetitive, deals with postpartum. this is my most emotional in-depth series and over the last four months, i have loved every second. if you're interested in y/n, trent and their little family's lives i have released a blurb series and the first one can be read here!

masterlist

the drive home from the hospital felt like a dream, one that y/n couldn’t fully process through the haze of exhaustion and the strange, hollow ache left in her body. it wasn’t just physical—the soreness from giving birth, the emptiness where her babies had been, and the sheer exhaustion from hours that had stretched into days. it was also something deeper, something that pulled at her heart in a way she had never felt before. she leaned back against the seat, watching as trent carefully placed the twins in their car seats, his hands moving with a tenderness that brought tears to her eyes. he adjusted their tiny blankets, double-checked every strap, and then looked at her with a soft smile that made her chest ache.

“you okay, baby?” he asked, his voice warm but laced with concern.

y/n nodded weakly, unable to form words. instead, she reached out and squeezed his hand. “i’m okay,” she whispered, her voice cracking slightly.

trent helped her into the back seat, insisting she sit between the babies. “just to keep an eye on them,” he said with a grin, though she knew he’d checked their car seats about five times already.

as he started the car, she turned to look at the tiny bundles on either side of her. their faces were so small, so impossibly perfect, and even though her body screamed for rest, she couldn’t tear her eyes away. every little movement—the flutter of an eyelid, the twitch of a hand—felt monumental. she reached out, her fingers lightly brushing the soft fabric of their hats, and a wave of emotion hit her so hard it almost knocked the breath out of her.

she had never known love like this. she had thought she understood it when she fell for trent, thought she had reached the depths of it when she said “yes” to building a life with him. but this—this was something else entirely. it was all-consuming, overwhelming, and terrifying in its intensity. she was no longer just herself; she was a mother.

trent drove like he was taking his driving test all over again, hands at ten and two, the car’s speed barely a crawl. every bump in the road made him glance in the rearview mirror, his eyes flickering to her and the babies as if to reassure himself they were all okay. “everything’s good back there?” he asked, his voice calm but tight.

she smiled softly, her hand resting on the edge of one car seat. “you’re doing perfect,” she said, her voice low, trying not to disturb the babies.

when they finally pulled into the driveway, y/n let out a small breath of relief. trent parked and immediately came around to her side, opening the door and offering his hand to help her out. “wait here,” he said gently, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “i’ll get the babies.”

he moved with careful precision, lifting each car seat as if they held the most precious treasure in the world. y/n watched him, her heart swelling with a love so fierce it made her eyes sting. she reached for her bag, but trent stopped her, shaking his head. “don’t worry about a thing. i’ve got it all.”

she followed him slowly, her steps tentative as the ache in her body reminded her of just how much she had been through. trent noticed immediately, setting the car seats down inside the front door and hurrying back to her side. his arm slipped around her waist, his hand warm and steady as he guided her up the steps. “just a little further, love,” he murmured. “you’re almost there.”

when they stepped inside, y/n’s breath caught in her throat. the foyer and living room were transformed. soft banners hung with “welcome home, mama” written in delicate cursive, and balloons floated gently in the corners of the room. a table held a small spread of snacks and drinks, and scattered around were little decorations—tiny baby booties, onesies, and framed photos of their ultrasound pictures. it was simple yet overwhelmingly beautiful.

her hands flew to her mouth as she gasped, her eyes immediately welling with tears. “trent...” she whispered, her voice breaking.

he stood beside her, watching her reaction with a mixture of pride and nervousness. “hey, hey,” he said softly, stepping closer to her. “baby, what’s wrong? do you not like it?”

she shook her head furiously, the tears spilling over as she struggled to find the words. “no, it’s not that,” she managed, her voice trembling. “it’s perfect. it’s just... i feel so... loved. trent, you’ve done so much, and i don’t even know how to say thank you. i’ve never felt anything like this in my life. our life, our family... i never thought i could have this until i met you. and now, with our babies...”

her voice broke completely, and she covered her face with her hands as the sobs overtook her. trent’s arms were around her in an instant, pulling her close and holding her tightly. “hey, shh, it’s okay,” he murmured, his lips brushing against her temple. “you don’t have to thank me, y/n. this is what we do, yeah? we’re a team. and you’re... you’re incredible. you gave me the greatest gift i’ve ever known. you gave me our family.”

she clung to him, her tears soaking into his hoodie as he rocked her gently. “i love you,” she whispered, the words barely audible but heavy with emotion.

trent pulled back just enough to look at her, his hands cupping her face as he wiped her tears with his thumbs. “i love you more than you’ll ever know,” he said, his voice low and steady.

she smiled through her tears, leaning into his touch. “we did it,” she said softly. “we have a family.”

he nodded, his eyes glistening as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “we sure did, mama.”

the soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminated the room in a warm, golden hue. the bassinets were positioned on either side of the bed, each holding one of their newborns, who slept soundly—for now. trent was perched on the edge of the mattress, carefully adjusting the blanket on the baby in his arms, his movements slow and deliberate, as if any sudden motion might disturb the fragile peace.

meanwhile, y/n leaned back against the pillows, one baby nestled against her chest as she nursed. her eyes were heavy with exhaustion, the weight of the day—and the days before it—pressing down on her. still, there was a quiet serenity in the way she gazed at her child, a mix of awe and disbelief etched onto her face.

“i still can’t believe they’re here,” she murmured, her voice soft but tinged with wonder. her fingers brushed against the baby’s tiny hand, marveling at how perfectly formed they were. “i feel like i’m dreaming, like any second now i’ll wake up and they’ll be gone.”

trent looked over at her, his brow furrowing with concern. “baby, they’re not going anywhere,” he said gently. he shifted closer, careful not to jostle the baby in his arms. “this is real. they’re ours.”

y/n’s lips curved into a faint smile, but her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “it’s just… everything feels so overwhelming,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “this time last year, we were on vacation, carefree, just the two of us. now i’m a mum, and it’s like my whole world has shifted.” she paused, her gaze dropping to the baby in her arms. “i didn’t realize there’d be so much to do, even after labor. it’s a lot, trent. it’s a lot.”

trent reached out, placing his free hand on her knee. “hey, it’s okay,” he said, his voice steady and reassuring. “we’ll figure it out together. you don’t have to do this alone. i’ve got you, y/n. always.”

her shoulders relaxed slightly at his words, but the exhaustion in her eyes remained. “i just… i don’t want to mess this up,” she confessed. “i want to be a good mum. they deserve the best.”

trent leaned forward, his dark eyes locking with hers. “baby, you are a good mum,” he said firmly. “look at you. you’re sitting here, exhausted out of your mind, and you’re still putting them first. that’s love, y/n. they’re lucky to have you. and i’m lucky to have you.”

her tears spilled over then, and she laughed softly, shaking her head. “god, my hormones are all over the place,” she said, swiping at her cheeks. “but thank you. i needed to hear that.”

trent leaned over, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “you don’t have to thank me,” he murmured. “i’ll remind you every day if i have to.”

the baby in y/n’s arms began to stir, letting out a soft whimper, and she instinctively adjusted her hold, murmuring soothing words. trent watched her, his heart swelling with pride and affection. “you’re incredible, you know that?” he said quietly. “watching you with them… it’s like seeing the best version of you. not that you weren’t already amazing, but now…” he trailed off, his gaze dropping to the tiny bundle in his arms. “you’ve given me everything, y/n. a family. a love i didn’t think i’d ever deserve.”

y/n reached out, her fingers brushing against his. “you deserve all of it, trent,” she said softly. “and you’ve given me just as much. you stay up with them when they’re sick, even when you’ve got training or a match the next day. you make sure we’re all taken care of. i don’t know how you do it, but… you’re amazing. you’re an amazing dad.”

trent’s lips quirked into a small smile. “is that right?” he teased, his tone lightening. “you hear that, little one?” he said, addressing the baby in his arms. “mama thinks i’m amazing.”

y/n rolled her eyes, but the gesture was fond. “you’re too much,” she said, but there was no heat in her words. she leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “but i love you. so much.”

“and i love you,” trent replied, his voice soft. he reached out, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face. “now, how about we try to get some sleep while we can? i’ll take the next shift if they wake up.”

y/n nodded, but as she settled back against the pillows, her gaze drifted to the bassinets. “i’ll try,” she said, though the way her eyes lingered on their babies suggested otherwise. “but it’s hard. i can’t stop looking at them.”

trent chuckled, leaning back beside her. “same here, love,” he admitted. “they’re perfect, aren’t they?”

“perfect,” y/n agreed, her voice barely above a whisper. and as the quiet hum of the night surrounded them, they stayed like that, their world now centered around the two tiny lives they had created together.

the days had settled into a rhythm, but it was a rhythm forged from chaos. mornings began with a flurry of soft coos and gentle cries that pulled y/n from the edges of sleep, her body still heavy with fatigue. the moment she opened her eyes, she was greeted by the sight of trent, his tousled hair and sleepy smile a comfort against the tumult of parenthood. each day was a whirlwind of feeding schedules, diaper changes, and the endless shuffle of rocking one baby while soothing the other.

rowan and tatum had become the center of their universe, and with each passing day, y/n found herself falling deeper in love with the tiny humans they had created. rowan, with her delicate features and inquisitive eyes, seemed to possess an innate curiosity that drew y/n in. tatum, with his wild hair and mischievous grin, had a knack for finding trouble, even in the simplest moments.

“i swear, these two are going to run us ragged,” trent chuckled one afternoon as he bounced tatum gently on his knee, the baby gurgling happily at his father’s playful expressions. “i think they’ve teamed up against us.”

“they’re like tiny little superheroes,” y/n replied with a smirk, her arms full with rowan, who had just finished feeding and was now settled against her shoulder, her small fingers grasping at y/n’s braid. “and we’re the unsuspecting sidekicks. just wait until they start crawling. we’ll be completely outmatched.”

“i’ll need to start training like the olympics,” trent laughed, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “imagine me at the gym, preparing for a baby chase instead of a match.”

“oh please,” y/n teased, rolling her eyes. “you’re going to have to prepare for more than just chasing them. think of the messes we’re in for.”

the two of them shared a knowing glance, and y/n felt the warmth spreading in her chest. despite the fatigue and the whirlwind of parenthood, there was an undeniable joy in their little family. trent was a natural, throwing himself into every moment with a sense of wonder that often left y/n breathless.

as the days wore on, y/n found herself becoming more adept at multitasking. she learned to nurse rowan while preparing tatum’s bottle, often laughing at the absurdity of it all. the house was a constant buzz of activity, and trent had turned into a master of chaos management. he’d mastered the art of cooking with one hand while holding a baby in the other, all while keeping their small home from descending into utter madness.

one morning, y/n woke to find trent already awake, perched at the edge of their bed, cradling rowan in one arm while he prepared a bottle with the other. the sight tugged at her heartstrings. “you’re up early,” she murmured, stretching her limbs and blinking against the morning light.

“i thought i’d let you sleep in a bit,” he replied softly, glancing at her with a grin. “you needed it. rowan was getting restless, so i figured it was my turn to take over.”

“i’ll never understand how you manage to do it all.” she said, shaking her head with a smile.

“because you make me want to,” he replied earnestly, his gaze unwavering. “you and these two—it's worth every sleepless night.”

their mornings would often morph into spontaneous dance parties, with trent holding rowan in one arm and swaying to a tune on the radio. tatum, in his bouncy chair, would kick his feet in excitement, his laughter bubbling over as he watched his parents. y/n found herself swept away in the moment, her heart swelling with love as she joined them, their laughter echoing around the room.

but not every moment was easy. y/n sometimes felt overwhelmed, the weight of exhaustion pressing down on her. there were days when the babies cried more than usual, and y/n would find herself spiraling, doubting her ability to juggle it all. on those days, trent would always sense when she was struggling, wrapping his arms around her and whispering words of encouragement, grounding her back to reality.

“hey, look at me,” he’d say softly, cupping her face in his hands. “you’re doing an amazing job. we’re a team. if you’re ever feeling lost, just remember, it’s okay to ask for help. i’m here for you, always.”

“i don’t know what i’d do without you,” she’d whisper, her voice cracking slightly as the emotions surged to the surface.

“you’ll never have to find out,” he promised, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, solidifying their bond.

and then there were the moments of sheer joy, like the first time tatum had giggled, a sound so pure it brought them both to tears. or the way rowan would gaze up at them, her big eyes full of wonder, as if she held the universe within her grasp. each tiny milestone reminded them of their journey and the love that had brought them to this moment, and even through the challenges, y/n and trent found strength in one another, laughter in the chaos, and love in every little moment shared with their precious children.

the exhaustion clung to y/n like a heavy blanket as she stirred awake, the sun peeking through the curtains, casting soft rays across the room. she blinked, trying to shake off the haze of sleep, only to realize that the familiar sounds of her babies cooing were absent. her heart raced as she looked to either side of the bed, expecting to see the bassinets—but they were empty.

“trent,” she whispered, her voice hoarse from sleepless nights. she nudged him hard with her elbow, panic creeping into her voice. “wake up! where are the babies?”

trent groaned, rolling over to face her, his eyes still heavy with sleep. “what? what do you mean?”

“the babies! they’re not here!” she exclaimed, scrambling out of bed, her heart pounding.

“what do you mean they’re not here?” he echoed, leaping out of bed, wide awake now. “they can’t just vanish!”

the two of them rushed out of the bedroom, their bare feet patting against the cool floor as they darted down the hall. y/n's mind raced, imagining all the worst-case scenarios. “they’re gone! what if they—”

“y/n, calm down,” trent said, grabbing her hand to steady her as they burst into the living room. “they can’t just be—”

the sight that greeted them brought an immediate wave of relief. there, in the kitchen, were their mothers, sitting at the table with the babies nestled in their arms, cooing and giggling as they played. the morning light illuminated the scene, creating an almost ethereal glow around their families.

“look who decided to wake up!” y/n’s mom called out, a wide smile on her face as she looked up from the little girl in her arms. “we thought we’d give you two a little break.”

“you’ve both been working so hard,” trent’s mom added, cradling their son gently. “we figured you could use some extra hands this morning.”

y/n felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes as she absorbed the scene. she rushed over, her heart swelling at the sight of her children being so lovingly cared for. “oh my god, thank you,” she whispered, her voice breaking as she sat beside her mom, reaching out to touch her daughter’s tiny hand. “i’m just so tired.”

“i know, sweetheart,” her mom said gently, squeezing her hand. “it’s tough in the beginning. but you’re doing an amazing job. let us take care of them for a little while.”

“seriously, you two,” trent said, his voice filled with gratitude as he stepped closer to the table. “you have no idea how much this means to us. we’ve been running on fumes.”

“just take a breath and let us spoil these little ones,” trent’s mom replied, smiling as she rocked the baby gently. “you deserve a moment to recharge. and we’ll make sure they’re ready to go when the season starts back up.”

y/n felt a wave of warmth wash over her as she looked at the two women who had supported them through everything. the love in the room enveloped her, reminding her that they weren’t alone in this journey.

“thank you,” she said again, tears spilling down her cheeks as she looked up at trent. “thank you for being here.”

“always,” he replied, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. “we’ll figure this out together, just like we always do.”

as they settled into the moment, y/n felt the tension slowly melting away. it wasn’t just about getting a break; it was about family, love, and the incredible journey they were all on together.

the night before had been a blur of cries and coos, a cacophony of exhaustion that left y/n feeling as if she’d been run over by a truck. she and trent had tried to stick to their newly devised system of alternating shifts, determined to find a rhythm amid the chaos. but the plan crumbled as soon as one of the babies woke to feed, and the other inevitably followed suit, their cries blending together in a heartbreaking symphony of need.

y/n had spent hours nursing one baby while the other squirmed in their bassinet, fussing as if sensing they were being left out. by the time she finally managed to soothe them both, she felt as though she was tethered to the bed, her body heavy and achy from the aftereffects of giving birth. every movement felt like a reminder of the toll her body had taken, and she winced as she shifted in bed, her skin still sensitive and raw.

“y/n, let me help,” trent said softly, his voice low and soothing as he pulled her into his side, offering his warmth against her shivering frame. he could see the strain etched across her face, the dark circles under her eyes like bruises. he had stayed up with her, doing his best to soothe their son while y/n pumped, her own frustration bubbling beneath the surface. “you’re doing amazing, you know that? we’ll get through this.”

“i feel like a zombie,” she mumbled, burying her face in his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of his skin, a comfort amid the overwhelming exhaustion. “and my body… it’s just not the same. i don’t even know how to navigate this.”

“you’re still you,” he replied, brushing a tender hand through her hair. “it’s just a different you for now. this is temporary. we’re going to figure it out together.” he glanced down at her, his expression earnest. “besides, you’re handling everything like a champ.”

y/n scoffed softly, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze. “a champ? i’m more like a walking disaster. i can’t even keep up with pumping and changing them without feeling like i’m losing my mind. and don’t get me started on how it feels to be so… exposed.”

“that’s normal, baby,” trent reassured her, his fingers tracing small circles on her back. “you’ve just gone through something incredible. your body is still healing, and it’s doing the hardest work right now—feeding our kids. it’s okay to feel like you’re struggling.”

tears pooled in her eyes as she nodded, feeling the weight of his words settle over her like a warm blanket. “i just wanted it to be easier. i thought… i thought i’d be more prepared.”

“no one is prepared for this,” he replied, his tone serious yet gentle. “and you’re not alone in it. i’m right here with you, no matter how hard it gets. you can lean on me. we can tackle this together.”

y/n closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she let his words wash over her. she could feel the bond they shared deepening, fortified by shared struggles and the vulnerability of this new chapter.

as they finally made their way down the hall toward the kitchen, the comforting aroma of breakfast filled the air. her mother was seated at the table, their babies nestled against her, content and blissful, giving y/n a much-needed sense of relief.

“how’s my girl doing?” her mom asked, looking up with a warm smile as she caught sight of them.

“exhausted, but alive,” y/n admitted, leaning into trent’s side for support.

“that’s all we can ask for, isn’t it?” her mom laughed softly, her voice soothing. “just remember, this is all part of the process. you’re doing great, and we’re here to help.”

“thank you for this,” y/n whispered, her heart swelling with gratitude. she felt a surge of emotion as she watched her mother rock the baby, the joy radiating from her face.

“of course, sweetie. just take care of yourself and let us worry about the little ones for a bit.”

as y/n settled into the moment, the weight of her struggles didn’t entirely disappear, but it felt lighter, more manageable. with trent by her side and their families supporting them, she felt the glimmers of hope shining through the exhaustion.

since the twins had arrived, y/n's world had been a blur of feedings, diaper changes, and late-night rocking sessions. between the demands of their newborns and her own recovery, she’d felt like she was running on fumes, barely able to find a moment for herself, let alone for them. her days had melted into nights, each one filled with the cries and needs of two tiny lives, and somewhere along the way, she’d lost the pieces of herself that had once felt so certain, so whole.

in the weeks after the birth, trent had been by her side every step, easing her burden whenever he could, always there with a gentle hand and a quiet reassurance. he never once pressured her, never made her feel like she had to be anything other than what she was. yet deep down, she felt a growing guilt. during her pregnancy, she’d been insatiable, craving his touch, his closeness, needing him like she needed air. and he’d indulged her, patient and eager, never saying no, even as her desires seemed to grow with each passing day. she’d let herself drown in his love, unashamed and unreserved.

but now… now she felt like she was failing him. it had been weeks, and though she knew he’d never push her, she felt a pang of guilt every time she turned away, every time she avoided his touch out of exhaustion or insecurity. her body had changed in ways she hadn’t expected, and though he looked at her with nothing but love, she couldn’t shake the self-consciousness that lingered. she hadn’t fully healed, physically or emotionally, and even though she wanted to be close to him, something held her back.

one evening, after finally getting the twins to sleep, she stood in their bedroom, staring at herself in the mirror, hesitating. she’d slipped into a piece of soft, delicate lingerie she’d bought before the babies arrived, hoping it might help her feel beautiful again. she wasn’t sure if it worked, but she missed him, missed the way he made her feel, and tonight, she wanted to try.

when trent walked into the room and saw her, his eyes softened, a look of surprise and admiration lighting up his face. he crossed the room to her, wrapping his arms around her, his hands resting gently on her waist as he looked down at her. “you look… incredible,” he murmured, his voice filled with awe.

she gave a nervous smile, a faint blush rising on her cheeks. “i wasn’t sure if… i don’t know. i just… miss us.”

he nodded, his thumb brushing over her hip, grounding her. “i’ve missed you too,” he said softly, his voice laced with warmth. “but you don’t have to do this, baby. i’m here, whenever you’re ready. we’re not in any rush.”

she felt a wave of emotion at his words, her heart swelling with gratitude for the patience and love he showed her. still, a part of her wanted to give him something, to make up for all the times she’d turned away. “i feel like i’m… depriving you. you never complained once when i couldn’t get enough of you while i was pregnant, and now…” her voice trailed off, a flicker of insecurity creeping in. “and now, i can barely keep up with anything. i don’t even know if i remember how.”

he laughed softly, his hands sliding up to cup her face, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “you’ve just spent every second taking care of two babies, on top of everything else. you haven’t deprived me of anything, okay? all i need is you, here with me. we’ll figure the rest out when you’re ready.”

his words eased some of the tension, and she let herself relax against him, her hands coming up to rest on his chest. he kissed her slowly, their lips moving together in a familiar rhythm, each touch a quiet reassurance. she felt the warmth of him, the comfort of his closeness, and for a moment, she forgot her fears.

but as his hands began to drift lower, a familiar heat building between them, she felt a pang of hesitation, her heart racing in a way she hadn’t expected. she pulled back, her hand resting on his chest, her voice barely above a whisper. “trent… i—i’m scared.”

he pulled back instantly, his gaze searching hers, concern flickering across his face. “hey… it’s okay. we don’t have to do anything. we can just stay like this.”

she felt a mixture of relief and vulnerability wash over her, leaning into him as she rested her head against his chest. “it’s just… my body doesn’t feel like mine yet. i don’t know if it will again, and i’m just… scared,” she admitted, her voice thick with emotion.

trent held her close, his arms wrapping around her securely, his voice a quiet murmur against her hair. “you just brought our babies into the world. you’ve given me everything, more than i could ever ask for. take all the time you need, okay? i’m not going anywhere.”

they lay down together, wrapped in each other’s arms, the comfort of his presence easing the weight of her insecurities. in the quiet moments that followed, she felt herself letting go, trusting that he would be there, patient and unwavering, no matter how long it took.

trent lay beside her, his arms a fortress of safety around her. the soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminated his face, etched with love and understanding as he pressed a kiss to her temple. she felt his fingers gently tracing her back in soothing patterns, as if he could erase her worries with his touch.

“you know,” he began, his voice soft and steady, “i need you to understand something.”

she tilted her head up to meet his eyes, her own glistening with unshed tears. “what’s that?”

he brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, his fingers lingering as if he couldn’t bear to stop touching her. “i’ve never stopped wanting you. not for a second. not when we were apart, not when you were pregnant, and definitely not now.” his voice grew quieter, more vulnerable. “even when we were miles away, i dreamed about you. i fantasized about you. you’re it for me, y/n. you always have been.”

her breath hitched, a single tear slipping down her cheek. “but my body… it’s not the same. i’m not the same.”

trent’s gaze softened, his hand trailing reverently down her side, over the curve of her hip, and back up to rest on her stomach. “your body just did the most incredible thing. you carried our babies, brought them into the world. i can’t even begin to describe how much that means to me.” he kissed her shoulder, his lips lingering against her skin. “and you’re even sexier now, if that’s even possible. you have no idea how much i admire you, how much i worship you.”

his words sent a shiver through her, and she let out a shaky laugh. “you’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“nah,” he said, his grin breaking through the seriousness of the moment. “if i wanted to make you feel better, i’d be writing one of those shakespearean sonnets i talked about.”

she couldn’t help but laugh, her head falling to his chest as her shoulders shook with the sound. “you’re ridiculous.”

“and you love me for it,” he teased, his hands resuming their exploration, mapping every inch of her like she was a work of art.

“maybe,” she whispered, her voice tinged with a mix of affection and bashfulness.

he shifted, rolling them so she was lying beneath him, his weight careful and light as he hovered over her. his hands framed her face, his thumbs brushing against her cheeks. “look at me,” he said, his tone suddenly serious.

her eyes locked with his, the intensity in his gaze stealing her breath.

“you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen, y/n. nothing will ever change that. not time, not kids, not anything. you’re my everything, and i’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you if i have to.”

her heart swelled, the love she felt for him nearly overwhelming. she pulled him down into a kiss, pouring everything she couldn’t say into the connection, every fear, every doubt, every bit of gratitude for the man who loved her so wholly.

as their lips parted, she rested her forehead against his, her voice barely above a whisper. “thank you, trent. for everything.”

“always,” he murmured, his fingers threading through hers as they lay there together, the weight of her worries slowly giving way to the unshakeable foundation of their love.

trent felt her shift in his arms, her body turning to face him fully. there was something in her eyes now—a spark of the confidence she had before, softened by vulnerability but steady and determined. she pulled back just enough to stand, her movements hesitant but deliberate.

it was a blur of exhaustion and baby cries by the time the match ended. y/n could barely keep her eyes open, let alone muster the energy to cheer when trent’s team won. she sat in the family box at the small table, one twin resting fitfully in her lap while the other squirmed in marcel’s arms. her hair was frizzy from the humidity, her makeup long faded, and she couldn’t remember the last time she ate.

she adjusted the hem of her beige ribbed co-ord set, one she had thrown on in haste but still managed to look halfway decent in. still, exhaustion clung to her like a second skin, and she was barely keeping it together when trent arrived.

he entered the family box freshly showered and changed into his lfc tracksuit, the soft material clinging to his frame in all the right places. his eyes immediately sought hers, a smile spreading across his face when he saw her—messy hair, tired eyes, and all.

“there’s my superstar,” he said warmly, dropping his bag on a nearby chair. he crossed the space in a few strides, crouching in front of her. “and look at these two,” he added, his voice softening as he pressed kisses to the twins’ chubby cheeks.

y/n let out a breathy laugh, her lips quirking despite the exhaustion. “your superstars have been colicky all day. i’ve been losing my mind.”

trent’s brows furrowed in concern as he stood, taking one baby from marcel and cradling them easily in his arms. “why didn’t you call me? i could’ve helped.”

she rolled her eyes, adjusting the twin in her lap. “and what? have you leave the match to hold a baby? be serious, trent.”

“i am serious,” he said, his voice dropping to a more tender tone. “i hate seeing you like this, love. you’re doing so much.”

her shoulders sagged as she leaned back in her chair, letting him take the baby from her arms. “it’s not like i had much of a choice. they were both screaming at the same time, and i could barely get dressed. i wasn’t sure i’d even make it here.”

trent’s eyes swept over her, from her frazzled expression to the co-ord set that clung to her figure in a way that made his breath hitch. “well, you look like you’re holding it together just fine,” he murmured, his lips quirking into a small smirk.

y/n shot him a dry look. “if by ‘holding it together’ you mean barely surviving, then sure.”

trent chuckled, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “you’re still the most stunning woman in the room, though.”

her cheeks flushed faintly, though she rolled her eyes to play it off. “don’t start, trent.”

his grin widened, but then his eyes caught the sight of the twins' jerseys—both with “daddy” and his number on the back. his expression softened as he adjusted the baby in his arms, kissing their head gently.

“look at my little fans,” he said, his pride evident. “but wait…” he glanced back at y/n, feigning mock disappointment. “you’re not wearing my shirt, though.”

she raised a brow, leaning forward slightly. “i’m getting too old for that, trent.”

he smirked, stepping closer and tilting her chin up with his free hand. “last i checked, you have our last name, mrs. alexander-arnold.”

her lips twitched, fighting a smile. “oh, so now you’re keeping tabs on me?”

“always,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss her. it was soft and lingering, his way of grounding her amidst the chaos. when he pulled back, he pressed his forehead against hers. “you’re my whole world, y’know that?”

“you’re corny,” she whispered, though her voice wavered with emotion. “but i’ll allow it.”

trent chuckled, pulling back to settle into the chair beside her. with one twin in his lap and the other nestled against his chest, he glanced at y/n. “you did amazing today, love. but let me take over now. you’ve earned a break.”

as he rocked the babies gently, their cries subsiding in his arms, y/n finally allowed herself to relax. she leaned against his shoulder, her eyes fluttering shut for the briefest moment. even in her exhaustion, she couldn’t help but think how lucky she was—chaos and all.

trent was in the kitchen, bouncing one of the babies gently in his arms while the other cooed happily from the swing nearby. y/n stood at the counter, sipping her tea and stealing glances at the sight before her—trent, in sweatpants and a t-shirt, completely in his element as a dad. her heart melted at how natural he looked, cradling their child like it was the most effortless thing in the world.

“hey,” trent called out, his grin wide as he turned to face her. “got a question for you, baby.”

she raised an eyebrow, amused by the sudden theatrics in his tone. “oh? what’s that?”

he carefully set the baby down in the swing beside their sibling, making sure they were snug and content before dramatically dropping to one knee.

“y/n alexander-arnold,” he began, his voice dripping with exaggerated sincerity. “will you do me the honor of marrying me… again?”

y/n blinked, her cup of tea frozen halfway to her lips. “what are you on about, trent?”

“just answer the question, yeah?” he smirked, clearly enjoying himself.

she rolled her eyes, biting back a laugh. “i am married to you, you dork.”

“yeah, but this is different.” he gestured to the twins. “look at them. you gave me these perfect little humans, and every day i see you with them, i fall even more in love with you. i swear, i could write shakespearean sonnets about how in love i am with you.”

her cheeks flushed instantly, and she narrowed her eyes at him, trying to mask how easily he could fluster her. “oh, don’t you start.”

“it’s true, baby,” he continued, milking the moment as he leaned closer, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “shall i compare thee to a summer’s day? nah, you’re better. less sweaty.”

y/n snorted, shaking her head. “you’re impossible.”

“nope, just obsessed with my wife,” he said, his grin widening.

she stepped closer, placing her hands on her hips as she gave him a mock-serious look. “tell me the truth. is this another ploy to get another kid out of me? because if it is, forget it.”

trent gasped, feigning offense. “how dare you accuse me of such a thing? this is about love, y/n. romance. pure devotion!”

she laughed, unable to stop herself. “pure devotion, my foot. you’re just trying to fill this house with as many kids as possible.”

“well,” he said, standing and wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her close, “can you blame me? look at us. we make masterpieces.”

her blush deepened, but she rolled her eyes, trying to play it cool. “stop it, trent.”

“never,” he said, leaning down to kiss her softly.

as he pulled back, he grinned at her, his brown eyes warm and full of mischief. “so… is that a yes? will you marry me again?”

she pretended to consider it, tapping her chin. “hmm, fine. but only if you promise not to write any actual sonnets.”

trent chuckled, pressing another quick kiss to her lips. “deal. but just so you know, if i ever write one, it’ll be an absolute banger.”

y/n laughed, resting her forehead against his chest as their shared joy filled the room—and the sound of one of the twins gurgling nearby was the perfect harmony to their happiness.

it was late, the kind of quiet that only came when the babies were finally asleep. y/n and trent stood by the doorway to the nursery, their gazes fixed on the two tiny cribs. he had his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close, and she leaned into him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest.

“they’re finally sleeping through the night,” she whispered, her voice filled with both relief and pride.

trent chuckled softly, his lips brushing her temple. “yeah, our little miracles. strong, just like their mum.”

she smiled at his words, her fingers tightening briefly around his. they stood there for a few more moments before she turned, taking his hand to lead him back to their bedroom.

inside, the soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminated the space, casting warm, golden hues across the room. trent moved to sit on the edge of the bed, his eyes following her as she walked to the dresser, hesitating for a moment.

“you okay?” his voice was gentle, careful.

she turned to face him, her hands nervously clasped in front of her. “i’m more than okay,” she said softly. “i just… i think i’m ready now.”

his brow furrowed slightly in confusion before her words fully registered. she saw the flicker of surprise in his eyes, quickly replaced by something softer, warmer. “are you sure?” he asked, his voice steady but filled with emotion.

she nodded, taking a deep breath. “i’m sure, trent. you’ve been so patient, so kind… i want this. i want you.”

her hands moved to untie the robe she was wearing, the silky fabric slipping off her shoulders and cascading to the floor. she stood there, her heart pounding as she watched his reaction.

trent’s gaze swept over her, unhurried and full of reverence. his jaw clenched slightly as if holding back the flood of emotions that threatened to spill over. “you’re… god, you’re perfect,” he murmured, his voice thick with awe.

she felt her cheeks flush under his gaze, but this time, there was no hesitation. she stepped closer, and he reached out, his hands finding her waist and gently pulling her to stand between his knees.

“come here,” he whispered, his voice low and tender.

she leaned down, her lips meeting his in a kiss that was soft at first, tentative. but as her fingers found their way into his curls and his hands roamed up her back, the kiss deepened, filled with all the longing they’d both carried for weeks.

trent’s lips left hers, trailing kisses down her jaw, her neck, stopping to murmur against her skin, “tell me if you want me to stop. any time, yeah?”

she nodded, her voice breathless. “i don’t want you to stop.”

he laid her down on the bed with a gentleness that made her chest ache, his hands brushing over her skin like she was something precious. “you’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his lips pressing kisses along her collarbone, down to the soft swell of her stomach.

she reached for him, her fingers brushing his cheek as she looked into his eyes. “i love you,” she said, her voice trembling with the weight of her feelings.

“i love you, too,” he replied, his voice steady but filled with raw emotion. “more than you’ll ever know.”

he took his time with her, making sure she felt cherished with every kiss, every touch. he murmured reassurances against her skin, his words wrapping around her like a cocoon.

when he finally looked up at her, his eyes searching hers, she nodded, her voice soft but resolute. “i’m ready.”

and as they came together, it wasn’t just about physical closeness—it was a healing, a reclaiming of all the love they’d always had but hadn’t been able to fully express. in his arms, she felt safe, adored, and whole.

later, as they lay tangled together in the quiet, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “you’re everything to me, y/n. always.”

she smiled, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on his chest. “and you’re everything to me.”

in that moment, with the world outside fading away, they were simply them—two people who loved each other fiercely, finding their way back to one another.

the morning light poured into their living room, bathing the space in a gentle glow. trent was preparing for an early kick-off, moving around the house with a mix of excitement and the usual pre-match focus. y/n, still a bit bleary-eyed from the late-night feedings, watched him from the kitchen, cradling one of the twins while the other rested comfortably in the swing.

he caught her eye and smiled, his heart swelling at the sight of her. she looked lovely in his oversized liverpool top, her hair slightly tousled, a soft glow about her that took his breath away. he leaned down to kiss the baby on her hip, then pressed a lingering kiss to y/n’s lips, both of them savoring the quiet moment. “i’ll see you both after the game,” he murmured, trying to memorize every detail of her face.

“go make us proud,” she teased, her voice soft yet full of warmth.

as he left for the match, y/n felt a twinge of loneliness settle in her chest. the house felt quiet without him, but she pushed the feeling aside, determined to make the most of the morning with the twins.

after they were settled in their swings, y/n got a spark of inspiration. she quickly dressed the twins in matching red liverpool onesies, their tiny forms looking adorable in the team colors. with her phone in hand, she snapped a picture of the three of them—herself in trent’s shirt, the twins dressed up, all smiles and giggles. she sent the photo to trent with a simple message: surprise! we’re ready to cheer for you!

when trent received the message, he couldn’t help but pause. his heart melted as he saw y/n’s familiar smile, the twins' tiny bodies decked out in their little liverpool kits. it was an unexpected yet heartwarming moment that fueled his adrenaline as he prepared to step onto the pitch. “look at them!” he said to mo, who chuckled at his friend’s obvious affection. “they’re perfect.”

the match kicked off, and y/n had the volume low, but the excitement in the air was palpable. she rocked the twins gently in their swings, occasionally glancing up at the TV to catch sight of trent in action. each time the camera panned to him, her heart raced, filled with pride and love.

then, the moment came. trent scored a stunning goal, and in an instinctive, playful move, he tucked the ball under his shirt, mimicking the shape of a baby bump. y/n’s heart soared, her joy spilling over as she cheered quietly for him, the twins cooing in response, almost as if they understood their dad was doing something extraordinary.

back home, she celebrated softly, cheering silently, watching the game unfold as the twins waved their tiny fists, their faces full of wonder. as the game concluded with a triumphant win for liverpool, y/n felt a wave of excitement wash over her.

when trent finally walked through the door, she was already waiting for him, the monitor clipped to her hip, the twins sleeping peacefully. as soon as she saw him, she rushed into his arms, feeling his warmth envelop her.

“missed you,” he murmured, holding her tightly.

“we missed you, too,” she replied, her voice slightly muffled against his chest. “you were incredible out there!”

he grinned, brushing his thumb over her cheek, looking past her to see the twins peacefully sleeping in their cribs. “all i could think about was coming home to you three.”

her smile widened as she took a step back, excitement bubbling within her. “oh, and look what you missed while you were gone!” she said, motioning toward the twins.

when he saw the matching onesies, his heart leapt. “you dressed them up for me?”

“they were just too cute not to,” she replied, her eyes sparkling.

“this is the best surprise ever,” he said, his voice thick with emotion as he bent down to kiss the twins gently on their foreheads. “you guys look amazing.”

y/n laughed softly, the tears of joy brimming in her eyes as she watched him, his heart full as he adored their children. she stepped closer to him, brushing her fingers against his arm. “you’re an incredible dad, you know that?”

“and you’re a superhero, y/n. i don’t know how you do it all,” he said, his gaze sincere.

“i do it for you, for us,” she said, her heart swelling with love. “i didn’t think i could love anything more until i met them.”

he smiled, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. “i love you even more now. you’re everything to me.”

he leaned down, capturing her lips in a soft, lingering kiss, feeling the warmth of their connection, their family. when they finally pulled away, the twins stirred slightly in their cribs, and they exchanged a knowing look filled with love.

“let’s scoop them up,” y/n suggested softly, and they moved together, each cradling one of their babies, feeling the joy and completeness of their family. as they stood together in their home, everything felt right, perfect, and whole.

EPILOGUE

the sun was shining brightly over the pitch, illuminating the joyous scene unfolding before everyone. rowan and tatum, now nearly one, were decked out in their new season kits, tiny versions of trent’s uniform, complete with “daddy” emblazoned on the back above his number. y/n could hardly believe how fast they had grown, each of them wobbly on their little feet, taking tentative steps as they practiced walking across the grass.

the laughter of family echoed around the pitch, a beautiful backdrop to the sight of their children teetering and giggling as they tried to keep their balance. y/n’s heart swelled with love as she watched trent, kneeling on the ground, encouraging rowan to take another step. he had that look on his face—the one that said he would do anything for his little family.

“come on, baby girl! you’ve got this!” he cheered, clapping his hands. rowan looked up at him with wide eyes, a beaming smile splitting her face as she took another shaky step toward him. y/n could see the pride radiating from trent, his eyes shining with a love so deep it almost felt tangible.

“you can do it, rowan!” y/n called out, her voice filled with encouragement.

tatum, not one to be left out, followed closely behind, his tiny legs moving as quickly as they could manage. “go, tatum, go!” y/n laughed, clapping her hands in delight.

the entire family was there, a blend of laughter and excitement that enveloped the pitch. marcel and malik were on the sidelines, sharing smiles and proud glances as they watched their grandkids embrace the field. y/n’s mom was nearby, her heart swelling with pride as she cheered for the babies, while trent’s parents beamed, their joy evident as they watched their son thrive in this new role.

“this is everything,” y/n whispered to herself, feeling overwhelmed by the beauty of the moment. she turned to trent, who had gotten to his feet and was now holding both rowan and tatum in his arms, their little bodies nestled against him. “look at our little family,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.

“i still can’t believe how much they’ve changed us,” trent replied, his gaze soft as he looked at his children. “they’ve altered my heart in ways i couldn’t have ever imagined. loving them, loving you… it’s a whole new level of happiness.”

y/n chuckled, rolling her eyes playfully. “you sound like you want to add more to the chaos.”

“well, you know…” he began, a teasing smile dancing on his lips. “i was just thinking, maybe we could start talking about baby number three?”

y/n shot him a playful glare, her hands on her hips. “no way, mister. we have our hands full as it is!”

“just think about it,” he said, raising his eyebrows in that charming way he had. “i mean, we’re doing pretty well, and they’re so cute. imagine having another one to keep us on our toes!”

“not happening,” she laughed, but there was a twinkle in her eye that hinted at her uncertainty.

trent leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “okay, okay. but when you’re ready, i’ll be right here, ready to take on the challenge.”

the moment was rich with love and promise, and as they stood there, surrounded by family, y/n couldn’t help but feel a warmth spread through her. they had built something beautiful together, and while life with twins was a whirlwind, it was their whirlwind—one that would always be filled with love, laughter, and endless possibilities.

as rowan and tatum took their first few steps together, the world around them faded, and for a brief moment, it was just y/n, trent, and their little family. there was a future ahead, full of uncertainty but also infinite love. the chapter they had written was only just the beginning.

they sat side by side on the soft, green grass, the sun casting a warm glow over their little patch of paradise. trent had an arm draped casually over y/n’s shoulders, pulling her close as they watched rowan and tatum playing together. the twins were giggling, their laughter ringing out like the sweetest melody, as they chased each other, wobbling on unsteady legs.

“i still can’t believe they’re walking,” y/n murmured, a sense of disbelief lacing her voice. she felt a swell of pride as rowan took another hesitant step toward trent, her tiny hands reaching out for balance. “it feels like just yesterday they were in my arms.”

“time flies, doesn’t it?” trent replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he glanced down at y/n, his eyes sparkling with adoration. “every day they surprise me more. i mean, look at them. they’re growing up so fast.”

y/n nodded, her gaze drifting back to the twins. rowan stumbled, falling onto her bottom with a soft thud, and tatum burst into a fit of giggles, clearly amused by his sister’s tumble. trent chuckled at the sight, his heart swelling as he observed their innocent antics.

“i wouldn’t change a thing,” he said, turning to y/n, his expression earnest. “these moments… they’re everything. i can’t believe how lucky we are.”

y/n felt her heart skip at his words, and she leaned into him, relishing the warmth of his body against hers. “i always wanted a family, but this—” she gestured toward their children, who were now trying to get back on their feet, “—this is more than i ever imagined. it’s like a dream.”

trent brushed his fingers through her hair, tucking a loose braid behind her ear. “and to think we started with just us. look how far we’ve come.” his eyes softened as he reminisced. “from late-night talks to diaper changes and tantrums… it’s a wild ride, but i wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.”

y/n smiled, feeling a sense of contentment wash over her. “you really do make it all easier, you know? through the sleepless nights and everything.” she glanced at him, her expression playful. “even when you steal the covers.”

“hey, i can’t help it if i’m a cover hog,” he shot back, grinning. “but seriously, we’re in this together, every step of the way. and if i have to give up my half of the bed for a little while longer, then so be it.”

“i appreciate that,” y/n laughed, shaking her head. she looked back at their children, who were now holding onto each other for support, their eyes wide with excitement as they took tentative steps. “they’re such a perfect mix of us.”

“i know,” trent said, his voice brimming with pride. “i see so much of you in rowan and everything i love about myself in tatum. it’s like we’ve created little versions of us, and it blows my mind.”

“we really did,” y/n agreed, her voice softening as she watched the twins, a swell of love filling her chest. “and i can’t wait to see what kind of people they become. they’re already so full of life and personality.”

the sun began to set in the distance, painting the sky in hues of pink and orange, casting a warm glow over their little family. trent turned his gaze to y/n, a thoughtful look crossing his features. “you know, one day they’ll be running around like this on their own, and we’ll be sitting here reminiscing about all the chaos that brought us to this moment.”

“and you’ll probably still be stealing the covers,” y/n teased, nudging him playfully with her shoulder.

“only if you keep hogging the pillows,” he countered with a laugh, and they both fell into a comfortable silence, watching their children with hearts full of love and anticipation for the future.

in that moment, nestled together on the grass, they knew that whatever lay ahead—sleepless nights, tantrums, and all—they would face it as a team. together.

© PDRIESTA 2024

[astarioffsimpmain]

Fluffy one-word prompts: Halsin & touch 😊 thank you 💛

Hiya! Thank you so much for the ask! I looooooooove this prompt, so thank you for sending it in. 🥰

♡♡♡

You were not ill acquainted with physical contact. Before your abduction by the Mindflayers, you had friends and family whose kind touches always left you with a feeling of appreciation and care. You assumed you understood the feeling of being known and loved through touch, but nothing could have prepared you for the depth of emotion that welled up inside of you the first time the Archdruid Halsin pulled you close.

It had been a grueling month, living and fighting in the Shadow Cursed Lands; surviving on hope and strength of will alone. But the curse had been lifted, and you had obtained your first Netherstone in the process, marking a victory in more aspects than one. You breathed a sigh of exhausted relief as you gazed up at the leaves that had begun to fill with life in hues of green, yellow, and red, and sunlight poured over the land in warm and welcoming waves.

Suddenly, you felt arms around you; large, strong, warm. You allowed your eyes to fall closed and smiled. "Halsin." You breathed as he rested his chin against the top of your head.

"You've done it." He murmured reverently.

"No," you replied, turning in his hold to face him and reach to place your hands on his shoulders. "We have done it. We couldn't have possibly done it without you. Please, don't sell yourself so short." Your thumbs traced a path back and forth along his warm skin, and he smiled tenderly, tears beginning to prick at the corners of his eyes. But before they could fully manifest, he surged forward and pulled you up into his embrace, lifting your feet from the ground as he cradled the back of your head to the crook of his neck.

You gasped softly and wrapped your arms around his neck, then settled into the hold. In a single moment, your entire world became Halsin. He surrounded you and filled all of your senses; his strong arms encapsulated you, and his warmth traveled through you until it pierced your very heart, and all of your carefully hidden wounds opened to him. He held you as though you could mend one another's pain if your hearts beat closely enough, and after several shared beats between you, you began to believe that you could.

A choked sob peeled from the back of your throat, and you clung to him like you have never clung to anyone. If he let you go in this moment, you feared you would never recover. Thankfully, his grip on you only tightened, crushing you against him in a way that was all knowing, all loving, all understanding.

You were not ill acquainted with physical contact, but it was only once you met Halsin that you became acquainted with being caressed. You nuzzled closer to him, breathing in his scent, and prayed that you would never have to be without it again.

♡♡♡

No editing or revisions. We die like women with severe brainrot. 💕

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