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tilthedayidice · 7 months ago

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hey! i know you said you would be up for doing some more bg3 mod recs, and im having trouble finding what cool outfits i want to put my gang in. do you have any armour/outfit mods?

in return i offer my current favourite mod: Boring Dyes by HeartsWires 💗

Yes, Yes I do. And that's actually one of my favorite dye mods too!!!!!!!! (editing Lacey here, I forgot to add a title to this)

While I have your attention, here's a cool site to help Palestine, all you gotta do is click it daily.

Dressing my crew up in silly little outfits is like 60% of my game playtime. 10% of it is spent making us all the same color scheme.

I do wanna give you a heads up and let you know a lot of outfit mods are made with Bodies 1 and 2 of the Elven/Human/Tiefling races in mind. I will have it listed which Body types are supported if the mod author also lists it. If the list is too long I'll direct you to the page.

Welcome to my Baldur's Gate 3 Mod list on How to Dress for Success (or in my case, for bed most of the time)

Gonna start with Mods made for individual characters, then move on to outfit packs. Any Mods that feature NSFW option will have a little disclaimer at the end in.......... lets say purple this time. And if it can be found in the tutorial chest mod it'll be listed in orange, for contrast... ya its all comin up milhouse

Alot of these outfit mods can either be purchased from vendors found around Faerun, or can be found in the Tutorial Chest Summoning. This Mod allows you to summon the Cartilaginous chest found in the tutorial level, and mods that support this will be available in said chest during the tutorial, or can be summoned later in game.

Individual Character Outfit Packs:

These Mods were made with a specific character in mind and are themed around them.

Astarion's Gear

Vampire and Rogue themed gear made for Astarion so it's only avaibnle for Male Body 2. Features both Armor and Camp Clothing. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest.

Gale Concept Art Armor

From the mod page "Adds Gale an armor set based on one of his concepts from the official art book. Visuals work only for default body type 2.". This mod features a flashier Suit jacket armor set and camp clothing for Gale. I also want to recommend Unique Starter Robes for Gale and Camp Robes for Gale, they're far less flashy and more in line with his original armor, but offer a nice change. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest

Halsin Barer Clothes

I'm just gonna put the description here... "Custom made armor/camp clothes specifically made for Halsin and his body type to show his gifts from Nature. Comes in Autumn colors too."Main mod is only made to fit halsin, so Body Type 4 will work. Camp Clothing option. This mod is made to fit the main 4 Body Types. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest.

Bundle Packs:

This Mods feature a large variety of outfits either made for a specific body type or for a variety of body type.

Basket Full of Equipment

This Mod contains a huge variety of in game outfits and some edited one. When I say Huge variety, it has over 800 pieces of armor and equipment in it. Has options for every Body Type, some options are race/gender/size restricted. Comes with NSFW, Underwear to Underwear Slot converter, and Camp Clothing Converter. NSFW options, can be found in the tutorial Chest. Features Cheat Items.

Scantily Camp Outfit

This mod features a variety of edited outfits to make themore... revealing. I like pairing this one with one of the modular outfit mods. I'm not here for cheeks out, but i do like some of the cool variants. This mod is mostly available for Femme Body Types but does come with some Male Body 2 options. Heads up, I do infarct fuckin hate the shoes. They're High Heels and not even sturdy lookin ones. But puttin Shadowheart in the withers outfit is worth imo. NSFW options, Can be found in the Tutorial Chest

Proof it works on men (I'll never do an ID again):

This was a happy accident (I laughed really hard when i saw him at camp)

Vsetments of the Faithful (Bane Bhaal Myrkul Ilmater Leira Milil Mystra Raven Queen Selune Shar Silvanus)

This mod pack contains armor from the Vanilla assets of the game, giving you access to all Deity based equipment. Suitable for most body type, each set has its own exception. Youi can download this as a mega set of all deities, or pick and choose. Can be found in the Tutorial chest.

Citizens Outfits as Camp Clothes

This mod features outfits you see NPCs wearing in Baldur's Gate (uh the city) and is compatible with All Body Types. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest

Fancy Camp Clothes

This Mod is mostly for Body type 1 with a few options also fitting Body Type 2 and features custom outfits with more of a noble vibe to them. The night song outfit in the pack is super nice looking and is so good for Shadowheart. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest.

Extra Gear

This Mod features a wide variety of armor and clothing (for armor slot) for a variety of Body Types, I recommend checking out the mod page for what goes where. Themes available for all classes.This creator has a Camp Clothing Converter, made the Fancy Camp Clothes mod, and has Paladin and Cleric Gear and More Mage Gear available as well. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest. Features Cheat Items.

Witcher Gear

This is actually going to be a collection of mods based on the Witcher series outfits. I don't play these games, but I love the outfits. Witcher 3 Armor (Keira Ciri Yennefer Margarita) features gear from the listed characters only for Body 1 NSFW Options, can be found in the Tutorial Chest. Yennefer's Wardrobe outfits from the mentioned character for all Body Types. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest. Triss's Wardrobe Outfits based on the mentioned character for all Body Types, can be found in the Tutorial Chest.

Once again here's Astarion in a silly outfit, I treat him like a princess, leave me alone. (I'll be listing my outfit in the misc section see Nymph Outfit)

Mystical Fashions

12 Outfits for bodytype2 Elf/Drow/Half-Elf/Tiefling/Human. Armor and camp clothes abailable, these are Vanilla outfits edited to have a more Roguish appearence. Featuring fur trims and feathers. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest.

Modular Pieces:

These are Mods that feature outfit pieces that can be equipped in the head/cloak/shoe slots to create a different look. Some of these mods will result in clipping.

Modular Equipment

This Mod provides pieces of armor to layer over your outfits.It only supports Body 1 Humans, Elves, Drow, and Half-Elves/ Tieflings are partially supported. Most items come with Both armor and camp clothing options. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest

Modular Skirts

This mod comes with a variety of skirts clipped from other outfits made to layer over yours. Each skirt currently supports different Body Types so be sure to check the mod page to see what works for who. I personally use the Jaheira skirt a lot. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest

Modular Pants and Skirts

This Mod features 14 Pants and Skirts ripped from in game outfits for you to layer over existing sets. Compatible with Most Body Types. Comes with a backpack for both Cloak and Head slots. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest.

Accessory Mods!

These Mods add in small accessories to finish off your outfits like; Necklaces, Hats, Cloaks, Glasses, and more. Many of these mods are placed in the Head or Cloak slots.

Box of Necklaces

Exactly what it sounds like. Adds a little extra sparkle to your characters! Available in both Head and Cloaks Slots. Works for everyone. Not dyable. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest.

Tav's Hairpin Box

Adds a variety of small hair pins for the Head slot. Has slight clipping with some hairstyles, it was made to pair with Bruenor Braids. Mostly for Body 1 compatible with some Githyanki. Can be found in the Tutorial Box.

Faerunian Carnival

A collection of Carnival Masks to your game. These maks are mostly made for Humanoid characters, some Githyanki work has been done but there is some positioning issues. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest.

Miscellaneous Mods

These mods only add a single outfit, item, or accessory to the game.

Trilli Bumbleroot 's backpack

This mod features a set of armor, accessories, and camp clothing strictly for gnomes Body type 1. The set is nature elements and comes with 2 dyes. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest.

Nymph's Outfit

Long Flowy Robes suitable for all Bodies and Races. Comes in Both Camp Clothing and Armor. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest. NSFW-ish?

Mushroom Hat

Its a hat! And it looks like a mushroom! And it glows! I have it right now but I don't have a character I think it'll suit..... Thinkin about puttin it on Minthara. Its is a blue mushroom ripped stright from the underdark's assets. It comes in Pink and Blue glow. Can be found in the Tutorial Chest.

Triss Dlc Gown for Mystra

It's the previous Mod from the Witcher section, but slapped it on Mystra. Her outfit sucks, she sucks, this is better lmao

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII think I should go ahead and post this for now before it get... too long, but i will be updating this post if any of these mods have updates, or I find something new and interesting!

If you have any specifics you'd like me to find and add on let me know!

Dividers made by @saradika-graphics !!

#not dice #long post #mod list #baldur's gate 3 mods #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #links #mods

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anxiousheart7 · 1 year ago

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Cazador, Astarion and Generational Trauma

*SPOILER WARNING* - major story details

Astarion’s story is about trauma. His trauma. The loss of who he was and the power of retaining a sense of self and autonomy after several lifetime’s worth of abuse.

But I believe there’s another layer to his story that hasn’t been touched upon as much, and that’s around the idea of generational trauma.

I’ve taken a little bit of a deep dive into everyone’s least favourite vampire lord - Cazador Szarr.

Disclaimer: by no means is any of this intended to provide sympathy for Cazador. He’s a monster and I felt a great sense of satisfaction at the end of this quest. But I like to explore the machinations behind a story and dig deeper into what makes a monster.

Im also very keen to fill in any gaps on this subject. If anyone has found any other source material other than those mentioned, they’re very welcome :)

Video Content credited to YouTube Creators sourced and linked in this essay.

Cazador, Vellioth and the cycle of abuse

We don’t know a huge amount about Cazador before he became a true vampire, but what we do know we find out through two sources (that I know of) - through Speak with Dead on Cazador himself and through the last echoes of his old Master, Vellioth.

In his coffin, you can detect his thoughts before killing him (if Astarion isn’t with you). (Time stamp 4m47s)

“These deathless dreams hold memories of a mortal life once-forgotten. Of the boy I was, the man I became, the monster that will not end. I sleep but cannot rest. I live but cannot die. I am eternal and I grieve.”

This gives a couple of interesting insights into the mind of a true vampire. Although within his waking world, there appears to be a sense of permanent grief and emptiness that comes with the power and eternity of his condition. There seems to be an element of eternal suffering.

He seems to lament the state he’s in and I wonder if his desire to become the vampire ascendent is partially in a bid to end these feelings. Of course, we have a sense of what a super powered true vampire would look like if you ascend Astarion. His soul gone and any sense of humanity left within him stamped out and replaced by a sociopathic megalomaniac.

I can’t decide whether this suggests that there are still shreds of a soul within a true vampire compared to the ascended version. But the stronger takeaway I have from this conversation is that this internal struggle is so bad that he wants to perform the RoPA to overcome it. Of course, there’s also the hunger for power that, it seems, inflicts many a vampire regardless of whether they are spawn or true. Even Raphael describes it as ‘so vile it has never been performed’. So, there must be a story to why he covets this power so much and I believe this comes within the form of Cazador’s former master, Vellioth.

If you haven’t found him yet, he’s in Cazador’s bedroom within the lower dungeon. All that’s left of him now is a preserved skull.

One thing I’d like to note about this living space is that it’s quite modest, which surprised me. I wasn’t sure if this was the space Cazador sometimes retreated to when he was working on his plans, away from the spawn, or if this was his permanent residence.

I feel like there’s a story there - like if he did ‘inherit’ the palace from Vellioth, that this was his room. It’s basic with a simple desk and small bed and a cabinet where Vellioth’s skull sits with the profane right details wedged between his teeth. I do wonder if Cazador puts on this appearance of grandeur and wealth but in private he prefers the minimum, as though the show is what matters. It makes me think that he was either humbled and abused so badly by Vellioth as a spawn that he retained his humble surroundings once he had turned true vampire. Or perhaps before he was turned he was a peasant or modest wealth.

We can guess a few things about Vellioth from our conversation with him. He was cruel; as cruel or more than Cazador. He punishments appear severe and lasting.

Like Cazador’s commandments, Vellioth states three lessons that a vampire must live by:

Lesson one “…to dominate. Allow none to be your equal.”

Lesson two “Power comes from solitude. To share with others is to be weak and to be weak is to fail, and die.”

Lesson three “Act not in haste. A near-immortal has time to plan, time to act only when others will pay the price of action.”

With lesson three in mind, I would say that Cazador slept down there and only saw his spawn to punish, instruct or to collect their conquests.

Compared to Cazador’s commandments, Vellioth appears to frame his lessons around a code of which a vampire should live.

Cazador takes these and shapes them into his commandments when he comes into his own power. Those commandments revolve around obedience and domination, making sure his spawn know that they belong to him and must do as he says. It’s this doctrine that shapes his rule.

During the conversation, Vellioth talks about the mistakes that Cazador made and the punishments he suffered for them. First through the death of an old friend, for which he made Cazador watch. The second was by impaling him for ten years.

However, it seems that Cazador was a good pupil and successor to Vellioth as he finally projects a sense of pride when Cazador performed the Rite of Perfect Slaughter, killing him.

I found this quite interesting since the scroll and conversation implies that Vellioth was aware of and performed many of the Rites listed in the scroll and was perhaps a follower/worshipper of Mephistopheles.

He possessed the instructions for the Rite of Profane Ascension so it’s not a stretch to presume he was intending to perform it himself. Yet there’s a sense of pride in his defeat at the hands of his progeny.

So why is this? This attitude seems to fly in the face of his own rules and the idea that vampires don’t like to share power. Cazador must have done something to impress him to the point where he was ready to surrender his legacy to him. Was it the cunning and will to beat him? Did he demonstrate himself as worthy or did he simply seize the power?

There’s also an interesting point to note - Vellioth must have consented to turn Cazador into a full vampire before his death, which is interesting because that means that he eventually granted him the status of ‘equal’. Was he ready to die? Did he see Cazador of worthy or did the Rite mean he was required to surrender his blood willingly to his spawn to complete it?

One thing is for certain though; his lessons, his legacy and that of the vampires that came before him continue through Cazador.

Cazador Szarr - Family Man

So, Cazador we know became a true vampire over 200 years ago. Astarion says he was ‘one of the first’, but didn’t go into more detail. Was he the second or third?

We find out a few things exploring the house. We know that there was a room for the favoured spawn Leon (we meet him trying to abduct Astarion in Elfsong), the majority of the other spawn has a less fancy dorm and then there’s the Kennel, where we know Astarion spent a considerable amount of time.

Cazador treats his spawn with sadistic cruelty. We see his attitude towards Astarion during their confrontation and his tone as he speaks to him. He refers to them as his ‘family’ and takes the stance of a strict old-school father.

He’s very reminiscent of the likes of Tywin Lannister or similarly placed father/heads of household (reminds me a lot of Reginald Hargreaves from the Umbrella Academy). For all intents and purposes he presents himself as the master of his domain and his spawn as his ‘children’, calling Astarion ‘boy’ and taking an authoritarian position in the way he treats his spawn.

I wonder if this is a remnant of his time with Vellioth. The implication of Vellioth’s teachings was that he essentially groomed Cazador to be his successor, should the event arise.

The Cazador we learn about acts as master, not sharing his power. Even his favoured spawn is clear of his place within the ranks.

We learn that Leon, who we meet trying to take Astarion in his sleep, is the favoured spawn. I have tried to place the order of spawn from the ones we know of - Leon, Aurelia, Dalyria and Petras and I think either Leon or Dalyria were the first spawn. From their demeanour and the way they speak, they seem to have an air of experience and wisdom to them.

Cazador also seems to choose his spawn carefully. But I wonder if he chose them first, or some are ‘newer’ than others. And what makes these seven stand out compared to the 7000 others he made for the ritual. Why were they useful and the others locked away? Was it a condition of the ritual that 7 spawn collect 1000 souls each as a contribution to the Rite, or were they just useful for Cazador. From the perspective of control, it makes more sense for him to have a limited number of spawn he considers ‘children’ while the others become ‘cattle’ in his head.

Which makes me think that Cazador cherry-picked these people in advance to cultivate his family from the get-go.

Leon, as mentioned, I believe to be his progeny. He seems to resemble Cazador a little, although more handsome. He sports the same long, black hair and I feel that perhaps Cazador saw him as his legacy or true son.

Edit: it’s also worth noting here (thank you to the commenter who said this) that Leon was protecting his daughter who Cazador wanted to turn. The cursed child was supposed to be her but on speak with dead you learn she was replaced by a vagabond and his real daughter had been sneaked away. This also may imply that he was a younger spawn.

Leon, more than the others seems to take his role with calm obedience rather than outwardly fearful. And so, he earned favour from his master. Cazador got to see perhaps what he perceived he used to look like when he was alive, feeding his own petty vanity.

We know a little more about Dalyria. She was a doctor and was looking into potentially curing vampirism through blood transfusions. She would therefore be very clever and influential. Cazador will haven chosen her as a ‘quality’ candidate due to this, and perhaps her method of collection was to offer help to the sick and destitute, promising them immortality as the ‘cure’.

Aurelia and Petras feel a little more difficult to judge. Aurelia feels like an ambitious middle child, trying especially hard to please Cazador and show herself as valuable next to Leon. Petras seems younger to me. More naive. This may be because he appears to be a ‘himbo’ and reinforces Dalyria’s position as an older spawn since she seems to want to take care of him. The other two, we know next to nothing about.

And then we come to Astarion. Our favourite elf seems to have bore Cazador’s wrath worse than the others. But I feel for certain that Astarion was chosen for one key feature - his looks. I’m not sure if Astarion was as much of a flirt back in his days as a magistrate, but Cazador quickly saw his potential. With 10 charisma and a set of overly flowery chat up lines, Astarion wasn’t the most charming of people. But his beauty got him a lot of attention and that made those lines he liked to dish out more alluring.

And so, Cazador realised with that power behind him, he would achieve his goals. My personal headcanon is that Cazador orchestrated the attack that killed Astarion so that he could turn him, and probably took a similar strategy to ensnare the others. Remember lesson three - plan carefully and patiently!

I imagine the relationship between them often resembled the kind of dynamic between an old style English schoolmaster and his pupil. Astarion would have, no doubt, rubbed him up the wrong with with his sarcastic tone and it does make me sad to think that Cazador may have taken further glee in punishing him for this.

However, I also get the sense that Cazador may have wished for Astarion to be his favoured spawn, which is why he punished him more severely than the others.

Generational trauma and the breaking or continuing cycle

And this takes me to the idea of generational trauma.

Seen primarily through the trauma that Astarion experiences and overcomes throughout his story, the cycle of abuse that comes through the vampiric way of un-life. We learn that Cazador experiences abuse like this through Vellioth’s rule, which in turn makes him crueller and more sadistic through his actions and attitude. Where Vellioth eventually shares his power, Cazador appears to present the illusion of favour while remaining separate to his spawn. He calls them ‘family’ to project an illusion of nurturing and togetherness while dominating them through cruelty and authority. He projects terrifying dominion while haunted within by the loss of himself, the lasting scars of his own spawnhood and sorrow for the monster he has become. He’s self-aware and does care to an extent about his own suffering but carries on regardless.

I would say that Cazador is driven by his own trauma and desire to quell the pain and sadness within him. Astarion’s drive stems from a similar place, but his driving force is the overwhelming terror he feels from the years of abuse he’s suffered.

Astarion feels like someone who has tried to express his sorrow for years to deaf, uncaring ears until he meets Tav, who listens and acknowledges him. Where Cazador conceals and buries his trauma, masking it with cruelty and authority, Astarion is finally allowed to express it out loud and work through it.

If he follows this path, he is able to embrace true freedom and break the cycle of trauma perpetuated for generations. Without the spectre of his tormentor chasing him, he can let go of that fear. It’ll take him many more years to heal, and this will always leave its mark on him, but he is able to stop the cycle for good, and open up to new possibilities.

If he lets his trauma and fear dominate him and ascends, he essentially destroys his path to healing and traps himself in an eternal shell where those old wounds will fester forever and he will become a worse version of Cazador, perpetuating the abuse and passing it onto his new spawn Tav.

Whether that cycle of generational trauma truly ends is up for debate. The other spawn will have their own demons to contend with and how they choose to do that is a mystery.

But, in my game at least, Astarion gets to live free of this legacy and start his life anew.

#astarion #bg3 astarion #Cazador Szarr #baldurs gate spoilers #baldurs gate 3

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thefangirlfever · 1 year ago

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Brace yourself for Miguel O'Hara Halloween headcanons 🎃

So... I guess it's time for Miguel O'Hara Halloween headcanons.

•goes trick'r treating with Gabriella ofc (duh)

•she is the only one who can get him to dress up. It wouldn't be something too crazy at first, like small devil horns or vampire teeth. With the years passing, they would get some matching costumes. In the end, he would be such a huge fan of this little tradition of them(teenage Gabriella would die of embarrassment but in a good way)

• He covers Gabriellas's eyes every time something scary appears on the screen when they watch a spooky movie. He tries to act tough but is in fact very scared of some horror movies himself.

•Would carve pumpkins if Gabriella asked him to. Since he had to learn how to cook for him and his daughter, you can be sure he will bake some amazing pastries during that time of the year, including cinnamon rolls and apple pies.

• very generous when it comes to give candies to trick'r treaters. The kids love his house. But he always makes sure to keep his favorite candies and Gabriella's favorites.

• When he has to empty her bag of candies at the end of the night, he is very careful and checks everything with her. He lets her have the best candies and eats the one she doesn't like (jelly worms and dark chocolate treats)

• Definitely has a food coma after this evening (it'sa good thing his suit is a hologram so it can still fit even after eating a lot), but not as much as during Christmas.

•Dios de la Muertos, I mean. I mean, I can see him rocking one of those tradurional masks or maybe a make up inspired by caravelas.

• So, feel free to correct me if I am wrong (I don't live in a South American country, so I had to do some researches about this), but apparently Mexican people clean the graves of their dead every year for el Dia de los Muertos. I can see Miguel trying to make his daughter feel close to her heritage and maybe brings her with him that day.

• (also in the Canon when Gabriella's universe has been destroyed, since she has no grave, I think he would have a little altar for her somewhere in the house. Not something too big but definitely has some pictures of her, candles and he puts some flowers every year. Apparently the 1st november is when people celebrate the dead children, called angelito, so I would clearly see him doing it that day. Sorry for the angst, let's get back to the fluff now)

• Does he like haunted houses? Definitely no. This would imply for him to always be on his guard and if he feels threatened, he knows his claws would come out or maybe his fangs, so no, he prefers keeping it simple on Halloween.

• That doesn't mean people don't play tricks on him. If it's Gabriella, she would probably just wear a mask or a sheet over her head and tries to scare him when he does the dishes for example. He would fake being scared and they would actually end up laughing. If someone else tries to scare him, he would simply not react (which frustrates people a lot)

Disclaimer: I know el dia de los muertos is not the same as Halloween but apparently more and more people celebrate these two together and mix some elements of each celebration (which I find really interesting).

====

Thanks for reading my mess, little goblins 🎃

Happy Halloween !

#miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #astv miguel #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #atsv miguel #halloween #headcanon #miguel headcanons

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megaawkwardhuman · 1 year ago

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a bit ago I saw a post on here that said something along the lines of "there was only one bed trope but at a clown motel" and that night I decided to write the beginning of a nandermo fic with that concept

days go by and last night for whatever reason I made it my goal to drag this thing from wip hell and finish it and so here it is!

it's a post season 3 fic where we're in the good timeline™ (guillermo and nandor went on their trip) and for whatever reason they end up well at a clown motel and we learn two things

1 guillermo really doesn't like clowns

2 even in the good timeline™ the world still fucks with memo

small disclaimer: I'm really dyslexic and by no means good at this. like last time I'm clinging onto grammarly for dear life and tried my best to edit this so that it at least makes a crumb of sense

anyway here is (and yes I'm really proud of this title)

the one ring circus

“No, we’re NOT staying here” Guillermo crossed his arms staring the vampire next to him dead in the eyes.

“Come on Guillermo look at all of the clowns!” they have been on their trip now for a while. If you had to ask Guillermo at the beginning of the trip where he expected to go and what he expected to see he wouldn’t have said a clown motel. He would have said ANYTHING ELSE other than a creepy ass clown motel.

“Nope, they're freaking me out. I REFUSE to stay here.”

“Oh come on this place isn't creepy.”

“Isn’t creepy? There’s a fucking cemetery next to it.” Guillermo has nothing personally against clowns. But there was something about the clown signs in front of the motel that creep him the fuck out with their huge smiles and soulless eyes. “Yeah sure the house back in Staten Island might as well be a cemetery but at least there weren’t creepy ass clowns.”

“It’s only one night.” while Guillermo would like to refuse further dawn was approaching soon, a storm was rolling in, and by the looks of it Nandor for once was living up to his name and was not going to relent anytime soon.

He sighed “Fine but only ONE night. But as soon as the sun sets we’re getting out of here.”

As they walked over to get a room Guillermo couldn’t help but notice a small grin on Nandor’s face. Was he actually excited to stay a night here? Did he like clowns? Is that why he wanted to stay here? Wait has Nandor even seen a clown before? All of these questions bounced around his head.

As they entered the office to get a room Guillermo looked around. As to be expected there were clowns everywhere. If he didn’t have a fear of clowns before the thousands of clowns both statues and paintings staring at him now might have put that fear into him.

All of the painted eyes staring into him, the bright colors of their clothes weren't doing wonders for his eyes, the smiles forced upon their faces mocked him, and the few that weren't smiling were sobbing which didn't help the overall creepy vibe. it felt like all of the attention in that room was directed at him. Like every clown in that room was mocking him.

He knew he couldn’t spend another second in there so he asked Nandor to get them a room as he speed walked outside.

As he walked out eyes tightly shut he tried to think about anything but the ridiculous motel he was about to spend a day of his life in. So he pulled out his phone, popped in his earbuds, put on some music, and thought about something that he knows will brighten his mood: how this trip will end. The moment he’s been waiting for grows closer every night. A moment that would be more pleasant than staying at a possibly haunted clown motel.

His attention was immediately snapped back when Nandor popped out and said something he REALLY didn’t want to hear.

“Is it alright if the room has only one bed?” Guillermo jumped a little as he zoned back in.

he paused his music and pulled out an earbud. “I'm sorry what?”

Nandor sighed “I said is it ok if there's only one bed?”

“What why?”

“Uh well, the only room available only has one bed.”

Guillermo wondered what he did to deserve this. Well, he wanted to know the SPECIFIC thing he did to deserve this. He thought about all his options or rather his lack of options. “That's fine.” Once Nandor popped back inside Guillermo knew he’d probably come up with something.

However, by the time they actually got to their room, he had zero plans. He WOULD have come up with something if it didn’t dawn on him what he would most likely have to do: share a bed with Nandor.

Now Guillermo didn’t hate the idea of being close to Nandor. In fact, that was the problem he knew he’d enjoy sharing a bed with him. He knew he’d enjoy it a little too much. He was afraid that he’d make a wrong move, getting a little too close, or worst of all Nandor getting too close. He knew it’ll be really hard to sleep with a hot vampire next to him. So once that thought entered his head it absorbed any plan he had.

Add in the clown art in the room and Guillermo has a gut feeling he won’t be getting much sleep.

“Great more clowns…” he said looking around the room like he wasn’t sleeping at a clown themed motel.

“What’s so wrong with the clowns?”

“I don’t know they look so creepy. Doesn’t help that some are staring right at the bed.”

“But they’re so happy!”

“Yeah happy they will probably be the reason I won’t get any sleep.” in a bit of a huff he went over to his bag.

Knowing the sun was going to rise soon and to distract from clowns around him Guillermo made quick work to sunproof the room by putting up some blackout curtains they bought and taping them down. Then he grabbed his pajamas and headed to the bathroom to take a shower and change.

When leaving the bathroom Guillermo noticed every clown painting was either gone or covered up. Well, all but one mural but that was cause it was painted directly on a wall to the left of the bed. Without the clowns, you wouldn't have guessed this was a clown motel. you'd think that it was just a normal motel room with just a weird ass clown portrait on one of the walls.

Confused but relieved he looked at Nandor who was reading a book. “Did you do this?”

“You said they would keep you up and a bodyguard needs his rest.” Nandor didn’t look up from his book.

Guillermo was still getting a bit used to this softer Nandor. I mean he can still be a dick from time to time but ever since they boarded that first train he’s been kinder to him. “Wow… thanks. Speaking of sleep what are we going to do about the whole bed situation?”

“Well since there is no place for me to spread out my ancestral soil and I know how you humans value your beds I was thinking we would just simply share the bed.” He said face buried in his book.

Guillermo was a bit taken aback by how casually Nandor suggested it. “Are you sure? I'm fine sleeping in the car or the bathtub.”

“oh don't worry I used to sleep with soldiers all of the time back in Al Quolanudar. Also what if a vampire killer came in here and tried to kill me? I need you to protect me at all times”

Guillermo tried his best to ignore how wrong that first part sounded. “Why would a vampire killer come looking for vampires at a clown motel?”

Nandor shuffled a little in his seat and turned a page in his book. A book Guillermo just now realized was upside down. ”well us vampires really like our clowns.“ Nandor said being reminded that he can't lie on the spot for shit.

Instead of pointing out how that's very clearly not a thing Guillermo silently accepted his fate.

so once he double checked that everything was covered he lay down on the bed.

He didn't know how much time had passed. all he knew was that it must have been midday and the storm outside was kinda soothing. but what wasn't soothing was the fact that somehow while sleeping Guillermo ended up face to face with the one clown painting Nandor couldn't cover. He jumped a little.

the clown was pointing directly at him laughing with the biggest stupidest grin on their face. He wanted to turn around but due to the sleeping body right next to him, he wasn’t quite sure if he could.

He lay there staring at the clown for god knows how long until a shift next to him made him realize Nandor was now on his side. which hopefully means he can shift without disturbing him.

as quickly as he could Guillermo rolled over to be greeted face to face with another more familiar clown's face.

add in the perfectly timed thunder clap and Guillermo jumped out of the bed letting out a small yelp.

Guillermo not really thinking instead of going back to bed or getting up and doing anything else memo chose the secret third option: sleep somewhere else. So he grabbed a pillow and a cape that was lying on the ground and bolted for the bathtub.

Whatever attempt Guillermo made to not wake up Nandor was in vain since the thud of him falling to the floor, grabbing a pillow five inches away from Nandor's face, and him running to the bathroom woke Nandor up.

half asleep Nandor followed the sounds of a clearly not ok Guillermo.

what greeted him when he opened the door was Guillermo curled up in the bathtub pillow behind his head wrapped in one of his capes trying to make some sort of attempt at sleeping.

“Guillermo, are you alright?” Nandor grumbled.

Guillermo would like to give him a proper response but at this point, any attempts to get any words out of his mouth would be in vain since he’s still a little freaked out. He didn't know it but he was shaking a bit.

Nandor saw how freaked out Guillermo is and with his two brain cells put together that the clown painting was probably to blame. Not being awake enough to yell at him for stealing his cape he left the room.

Guillermo thought Nandor must have gone back to sleep but was confused when he came back with a pillow, a blanket, and with the backpack he kept some of his ancestral soil in strapped to his back.

Silently he made his way over to Guillermo and took the cape that was wrapped around him and tossed it aside. ”scoot over.“ Guillermo did as he was told and Nandor awkwardly made his way into the tub.

after some maneuvering, Guillermo ended up on top of Nandor in this kinda big but bearly able to fit them bathtub.

Nandoer laid out the blanket over the two of them and placed one pillow behind his backpack and one behind his head. ”I guess we're sleeping here.“

Guillermo didn't know how to really react to all of this. all he could do is muster out a small ”sorry...“

”It's fine. this is a lot more comfortable here. it's a lot like sleeping in a coffin.“ he wrapped one of his arms around Guillermo.

Guillermo wanting to go back to sleep at this point just hid his face in the nook of Nandor's neck as he fell back asleep mumbling about stupid clowns.

the sober realization as to what had just happened hit the both of them as soon as they woke up. It hit Guillermo the hardest since he woke up with Nandor’s tits in his face. So he got out of the tub as quickly as he could and checked that it was safe for Nandor to leave the bathroom.

after Guillermo made sure it was night he went back in and helped Nandor out of the tub. They both made their way into the main room to pack up and make the room look less chaotic.

”Thanks for last night. I genuinely didn't expect you to do that.“ Guillermo said while taking down the curtains.

”you were running around the room like a spooked horse,” Nandor was putting one of the pillows back on the bed “I wanted to make sure you weren’t being attacked or something.“ he turned around to go grab the cape Guillermo tried to use as a blanket almost bumping into Guillermo.

”well that was really nice of you. but you didn't have to sleep in the tub with me. you looked really cramped“

Nandor looked down and fidgeted with his rings. ”I needed to make sure you were going to be alright all night. You're going to need a good amount of sleep if you're going to protect me.“ once he was done talking he quickly walked back into the bathroom.

Guillermo wonders who is this man and what did he do to Nandor.

Once they had everything packed they got the fuck out of there.

”so are you two looking for a room with two beds or?“ the lady at the front desk asked. Guillermo really gave him too much power.

Nandor thought about it. ”no just one is fine. But let me check with my partner”

#what we do in the shadows #wwdits #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #nandermo #wwdits fanfic #there was only one bed #gather around and lend me your time #guillermo has a fear of clowns that only gets worst as the fic goes on #guillermo's final evolution: scared dog on the fourth of july #I just really want these bitches to hold each other is that too much to ask?#two bros chilling in a bathtub #no inches apart cuz they're too tired to repress their feelings #I'm writting this tag in hopes it will hype me up to post this OINHEQBIVWRBEUO

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pixelle401 · 1 year ago

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BOO Legacy Challenge

Do you wanna play with occults in a way you never have before? Do you want a challenge while also fully experiencing everything each occult has to offer? Do you like the idea of occults but hate the execution of them? Well then this challenge is for you!!! We give each occult depth and personality outside of their occult type! We have eco friendly werewolves, OCD vampires, paranormal scientists and SO MUCH MORE!!! Info-Mercial aside I put alot of love and hard work into this challenge so I really hope you enjoy playing as much as I enjoyed making it and playing it.

DISCLAIMER!!!!!

-This challenge uses ALOT of pack specific features seeing as occults are not base game and there are alot of skills and traits that come from other packs in order to complete the challenges.

-Reminder that this is your game and if you do not have some of the packs for a specific gen feel free to switch it up and add a different skill or trait this challenge was made for everyone to have as much fun with occults as I do!! (because I know they are a huge hit or miss in the sims community)

-If you make any changes to my challenge please credit me if you re-upload it, do not claim it as your own and any videos or streams made from the challenge please link the challenge.

-And lastly just enjoy yourself!! Occults are fun and wacky especially when you give them jobs and goals and families it gets super super fun!!!

Overall Rules

-No cheats- money cheats allowed (only if building can’t be used for gameplay unless stated otherwise in gen rules)

-You can live wherever you want unless gen rules state otherwise.

-Gen 1 must be a Vampire.

-CC is allowed

-Must have children with the same partner until the next heir is the proper occult

-Deadly vampires mod NOT required but encouraged!

GEN 1- Gothic Brainiac- Vampire

-You are the first born Vampire of your family so you want to learn everything you can about being a vampire for your future descendants. You also really enjoy gardening.

Traits:

Family oriented

Genius

Overachiever

Aspiration:

Master Vampire

-Must master Secret agent career and Master Vampire aspiration.

-Must max out Vampire lore, Gardening and pipe organ skills.

-Must marry and have the next heir with a spellcaster.

-Must have Sleep of the undead weakness point.

GEN 2- Cute but Deadly- Spellcaster

-You put on the sweetest front to hide your true intentions, not even your parents know of your darkside, with your charismatic ways and your super cute front no one would ever guess you are the apprentice to the most twisted spellcaster in all of glimmerbrook. I mean you’re just a baker right?? No harm there right??

Traits:

Evil

Outgoing

Foodie

Aspiration:

Spellcraft and Sorcery

-Must master the Spellcraft and sorcery aspiration

-Must own a Bakery

-Must master baking, charisma, and mischief skills

-Must master all Mischief Magic spells

-Must train under the Mischief Magic sage in the magic realm

-Must have next heir with a Mermaid

-Must live in glimmerbrook

GEN 3- Sulani’s Pearl- Mermaid

-No one saw your parents' wicked ways except for you. Growing up you swore you would never be like them and would only bring light to this world not darkness. You strive to keep your mind, body, and the planet around you clear and healthy, while also keeping in touch with the island spirits and nature around you.

Traits:

Child of the islands

Child of the ocean

Good

Aspiration:

Inner Peace

-Must master Inner Peace aspiration and Conservationist Career

-Must master Wellness, Fitness, and Flower arranging skills

-Must live in Sulani

-Must be good friends with a dolphin

-Must be good friends with the island spirits

-Must have next Heir with a werewolf

GEN 4- Rustic to Riches- Werewolf

-With your super humble upbringing you have wanted to live off the land and survive off of nature and what it provides for you, since you were a child. You have always been super interested in Humans and have always wanted to be one, truthfully you are ashamed of being a Werewolf because of the negative assumptions that come with it. You devote your life to building a bridge between Humans and Werewolves and even end up falling in love with a Human.

Traits:

Loves outdoors

Maker

Green fiend

Aspiration:

The Curator (does not have to be completed)

-Must start on a bare lot with 0 Simeoleons (use cheats to set money to 0 after buying lot)

-Never get a job, forage for your earnings

-Make neighborhood have a green eco footprint

-Must master Fabrication, Handiness and Gardening skills

-Must become alpha of The Moonwood Collective

-Must live in Evergreen Harbor

-Must fall in love and have next Heir with a Human

-No money cheats allowed for building

GEN 5- Serene Scientist- Human

-While you are human and the rest of your family are of supernatural descent, you still have a connection to things more supernatural… or rather paranormal. While getting in touch with your spiritual side and strengthening connection to the “otherside” you pursue your other passion, Science!!!

Traits:

Geek

Music Lover

Loner

Aspiration:

Soulmate (does not have to be completed)

-Must live in a haunted house

-Must master Medium, Violin, and Painting skills

-Must fall in love with only Guidry and marry him

-Get abducted as a scientist and only have that child/children

-Quit scientist career as an adult to become a fulltime paranormal investigator.

-Must Unlock “Brave” reward trait

GEN 6- Strangerville Superhero- Alien

-You always knew you were different from your family, I mean besides your colorful skin and the fact that your father is a ghost, you always felt like something was missing. Turns out when you age into a young adult you’re an alien… what?? Your parents always just told you that you felt different because of the spiritual connection your family had, who knew you were from a whole other world. After you find out where you belong you dedicate your life to finding your home planet. And in the process uncover something much bigger than intended.

Traits:

Goofball

Adventurous

Family Orientated

Aspiration:

Strangerville Mystery

-Master astronaut career and Strangerville Mystery aspiration

-Visit Sixam and reconnect with your birth parent

-Master Rocket science, fitness, and Parenting skills

-Must live in Strangerville

-Must uncover Strangerville Mystery

-Next heir must be conceived with a spellcaster in the Sylvan Glade

GEN 7- Sylvan Sorcerer- Fairy (technically spellcaster shhh use ur imagination)

-Growing up your parents were always super honest with you about where you came from.. Maybe a little too honest, as a child your parents would take you to the Sylvan Glade every weekend and have you practice your powers along with helping you pursue your interests in gardening and making bouquets for your friends and family.

Traits:

Cheerful

Loyal

Loves outdoors

Aspiration:

Freelance botanist

-Must Master Gardener career and Freelance botanist aspiration

-Must master Gardening, Flower arranging, and knitting skills

-Must be good friends with Your parents, siblings, spouse and child/children

-Must Master all practical magic spells

-Must have a well maintained garden in the Sylvan glade

-Must have next Heir with a Spellcaster

GEN 8- Master? of potions- Spellcaster

-Being surrounded by all kinds of plants and ingredients growing up sparked an interest in you to make things. Everything you could get your hands on you would start to combine and cross all your limbs hoping that it didn't explode in your face. Eventually you got super good at actually identifying the plants and herbs going into your potions and spells.

Traits:

Clumsy

Vegetarian

Childish

Aspiration:

Purveyor of Potions

-Must complete Purveyor of Potions aspiration

-Must Own a Potions shop

-Must master Herbalism, Cooking, and photography skills

-Must master all Untamed magic spells

-Must master all potion recipes

-Must have next Heir with a Vampire

GEN 9- Supernatural Clean Freak-Vampire

-You never cared about sims or other supernaturals, they’re all filthy creatures that deserve to have their life forces drained from them in order to cleanse them, or better yet they all deserve to be Changed, changed into the only form that can keep the pristine lifestyle that you upkeep.. Vampires. Draining the life from sim after sim not caring about the changes being made until…. You meet them.

Traits:

Materialistic

Neat

Snob

Aspiration:

Vampire Family

-Must complete Vampire Family aspiration and Business career

-(if deadly vampires mod is in use) Must kill 5 sims

-(if deadly vampires mod is in use) Must turn 2 sims into cattle before meeting spouse

-Must master Logic, Violin and Charisma skills

-Must never have a positive relationship with anyone besides family until you meet your spouse and change

-Must have 5 declared enemies

-Once you meet your spouse You must repair all bad relationships you have

-Must become grand master Vampire

-Must have Power of creation powerpoint and Eternal Sadness Weakness point

-Must Marry and Have next Heir with a Werewolf

GEN 10- Wild Fangs -Werewolf

-You have heard all kinds of stories from before your parent met their spouse, what kind of vampire they were, you want to be just like them! You want to be a wild werewolf and do things as you want, not as the world wants. You strive for Chaos and Wreckage and you think being a werewolf is the greatest gift your parents ever gave you.

Traits:

Slob

Active

Mean

Aspiration:

Extreme Sports Enthusiasts(does not have to be completed)

-Must Master Criminal Career

-Must master Fitness, Rock climbing and Guitar skills

-Must become Alpha of the Wild Fangs

-Must Marry a Werewolf in the Wild Fangs pack

-Must Have a one time affair with a Mermaid resulting in next heir (if heir is not a mermaid have another affair with same mermaid)

-Must live in Moonwood Mill

GEN 11- Siren of the Seas- Mermaid

-You never got the chance to know who one of your birth parents were but you knew you weren't like the parents you had, their animalistic tendencies disgusted you and you didn't have the best relationship with them growing up, instead you bonded with the sea and you quickly found that with the melodic tone in your voice you can convince anyone to do what you wished, When you aged into a teen and sprouted a tail everything made sense to you.

Traits:

Romantic

Evil

Kleptomaniac

Aspiration:

Villainous Valentine

-Must run away as a teenager to Sulani and never look back (drop all contact with family no get togethers no visits)

-Never get a job steal all earnings

-Must Complete Villainous Valentine aspiration

-Must master Charisma, Singing and Mischief skills

-Must never marry or have any serious relationships

-Next heir results from a siren seduction gone too far with a Vampire

GEN 12- Guilty- Vampire

-You Grew up to a single parent that refused to talk about their family and history so you did some digging yourself and what you found made you eternally guilty for your existence. You come from a long line of… monsters…. Even though you never actually harmed anyone yourself you have seen what your parent did to all the innocent sailors that passed by, and what your Ancestors did to all the sims of the past, absolutely insufferable, out of all your research into the past you find one ancestor who can help you rid of this curse.

Traits:

Gloomy

Good

Bookworm

Aspiration:

Good Vampire

-Must master Good Vampire aspiration and Law Career

-Must Move in with Gen 1 when you age into a young adult

-Must Master Writing, Vampire lore and Piano skills

-Must Have Eternal sadness, and guilty drinker weakness points

-Must never have Natural children only adopt

-Must only marry a human after being cured

-At the end of the challenge take Vampire Cure and become human.

#sims 4 #thesims4 #sims 4 legacy #ts4 #legacy challenge #sims 4 occult

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carryoncastiel · 11 months ago

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The constant frustration when it comes to Wyll's writing...

Thinking about how Wyll is the only companion you can neither hug nor kiss in the epilogue. Then we also had the very tasteless and ooc joke about him and Mizora in the Christmas animation short...

And even if Larian gives us something good like the new kissing animation (which is definitely great) they take something else away, case in point the old kissing animation (which was totally fine) not existing anymore.

It's just constantly shown that Wyll is very much treated as an afterthought. Larian obviously has a huge racist blind spot when it comes to him but it also gets amplified by fandom as a whole.

The whole feedback and listening to fans thing that Larian gets applauded for is a double edged sword. It can be good for certain gameplay problems but when it comes to the story and character writing it just seems to reward the loudest people. Hence especially vampire boy getting piled with content even though he has zero relevance to the main plot and is not more special or interesting than the other companions and memes getting added into the game as well because the vast and loud majority of fans eat that shit up. It started with EA, continued into the full release and continued for every single patch.

(Disclaimer: This is just my speculation. Maybe EA didn't play a huge part and Larian would've fucked it up anyway. Idk) Now with Wyll is where I think that whole thing backfires. I wasn't there for EA but from what I heard and from the way fandom treats Wyll now it's probably save to assume that a lot of people either outright hated him or did not care for him at all because he's black and the other characters are not. Obviously they would say it's because he's boring or whatever but let's be real the majority of it is just straight up racism.

But there are not enough fans of his character to balance out the haters as there are for the other characters and the rest of fandom just doesn't give a shit. Coupled with, I assume, a very white writers room you get Larian not going "Our writing is fine we just need to tweak a few things", which as op mentioned above is what they should've done, but apparently panicking and scrambling to rewrite his entire character for the full release and then just never caring to clean up that rewrite. Because feedback loop: people care more about the other characters, they put more work into those characters because people care more about them, people care more about those characters because they have more content so they add more for those char-, yadda yadda rinse and repeat.

It sucks.

Now, I'm very bad at organizing things but I still think we as Wyll fans should get together and do some kind of feedback campaign to get Larian to at the very least add a kiss and hug for the epilogue. Apart from it being fucked up that he doesn't have that in the first place and that should be rectified I also think about them likely working on DLC and I really cannot take them neglecting Wyll in that too. But given their track record so far it's not looking good unless we actually make a huge fuss about it. Not on tumblr where we are screaming into a void but by shoving the feedback right into Larian's face.

I just find it strange that the developers chose to rewrite Wyll. I love new Wyll I think he's fantastic and I don't necessarily want the previous version. But I find it bizarre that there was somehow so much negative feedback about old Wyll that they risked completely rewriting him.

Now I love all the companions. This is not Dragon Age Orgins where I debate recruiting Ogrun every time. But I just find it strange that the reason given was Wyll's negative feedback when most of the other characters have been unpopular too. Like Lae'zel is infamously unlikable to a great many people.

People love to bully Gale and there's even lines in game that call him pathetic. The DEV's in the IGN interview even agreed that Gale killing himself can be a good ending, " I really liked Gale setting off the bomb with the brain, and actually that felt like the right ending to me.

AS: In many ways it is, yeah." Which feels problematic to say the least, like I get supporting player choices but suicide is never the "right" way to do things.

Or even I'm pretty sure I remember Neil Newbon talking about how he was sure a lot of players had killed Astarion permanently in their playthroughs.

Then there are people being absolute freaks on the internet about Halsin all because he's polyamorous.

Like these characters are wildly popular too but they certainly have their haters. So why did they lack such confidence with Wyll? The best source I could find on early access Wyll is this article https://gamerant.com/baldurs-gate-3-wyll-early-access-story-change-karlach-explained/. It says that this change was made to make his story stronger, make him more unique, and give him more complicated emotional ties. Unless he was really basic before they did not accomplish this. He has less content so his story lacks the depth the other's do. It's also inconsistent, with you being able to put him off being a duke by telling him he'll be too power hungry which he has never been. His emotional ties are rushed. He never really confronts his father, having the tadpole do most of the work and never hashing out his feelings beyond that he's fine.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. According to the article he was meant to have a dark side like Shadowheart "According to the panel, depending on whether players allow him to go through with killing Karlach, he will become a radically different companion instead of if she is recruited." Which would have been cool but if they didn't have enough time to do that maybe they should have tweaked what they had.

Plus, according to the article in early access he was "a straightforward hero who develops a violent side regarding his patron or goblins." This article too show's that his early approval matches current Wyll pretty well except for dealing with Aunty Ethel and more goblin hate https://fextralife.com/baldurs-gate-3-early-access-companions-guide-wyll/.

I just don't know I just find it so frustrating that it was the black main character they chose to tweak and ran out of time to complete his story and still haven't fixed it with a patch. And in the IGN interview the devs kind of sounded like there wouldn't be anymore patches and it's just frustrating. Wyll deserves just as much content as any one else.

#wyll ravengard #larian critical #bg3 critical #fandom problems #bg3 #sorry op for adding so much to your already great post but I had thoughts

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 years ago

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Could I mayhaps request your opinion on Lilia Vanrouge? I feel like there's a lot more to him than meets the eye and I'm so glad we are seeing more and more diasomnia peeps in the story lately. -♠️

Hi, Deuce— Oof, Lilia is so close to a Bingo too 😫

***Standard disclaimer: These are just my personal opinions of the character(s); regardless of what I may think of them, sharing my thoughts is NOT meant to offend or to shame anyone that thinks differently.***

***CONTENT WARNING: brief mentions of war, PTSD, and survivor’s guilt.***

I have many, MANY thoughts about Lilia, and while some of those are highly speculative, Lilia himself is still a very interesting character just based on the concrete, canon information we have on him.

Firstly, I have to say that I love his design. I admit that it was initially off-putting because his haircut doesn’t look anything like that of the other characters in the cast, but it was somehow still very fitting in spite of that. It’s oddly a hot mess and yet fashionable at the same time 😅 though maybe I just think it’s fashionable because dark hair with hot pink/magenta streaks reminds me of Draculaura, a vampire girl in a fashion doll line that I really enjoy. I also like how Lilia wears his jacket hanging off of his shoulders and the unique design of his school uniform pants; it helps him stand out in the overall cast and gives him a mysterious, almost antique, aura.

Where Lilia really shines is when he’s interacting with others. Being that he is actually considerably older than everyone, he offers a lot of life experience and wisdom that the others don’t have, and it’s amazingly entertaining seeing how he bounces off of his peers because of that. I particularly love when he and Trey are researching for their Magic History project and Lilia keeps elaborating on things he couldn’t possibly have known unless he lived through them, thus leaving Trey confused as to how he is so knowledgeable. The best part about these interactions is that Lilia never flaunts his wisdom or uses it to elevate himself to a more powerful or privileged position than the other students. He still treats others as his equals and friends, making online friends with Idia and chilling with the Light Music Club crew like a normal high school boy would—but he’s not afraid to call people out when he sees them acting up. I especially loved Lilia in episode 2 when he straight up told Leona that he was being immature and that a collar suited him better than a crown. Lilia’s out here spitting cold, hard FACTS 😌

Lilia is described to us as someone who is well-respected in the Briar Valley due to his record as a successful warrior. He’s also said to be extremely frightful in his true form, often scaring the children in his home country around Halloween season. I find these aspects of Lilia very intriguing, and I hope that episode 7 touches upon this more (specifically his history as a veteran). It isn’t really something that has been often acknowledged in the fandom, but I think that since Lilia is a veteran, there’s a lot of deep topics to explore through his character. For example, a considerable amount of people that emerge from war do so with survivor’s guilt and PTSD, and I’m wondering if Lilia is or has experienced something similar as a result? Or does it not faze him because of how long-lived he is? Does he worry about his loved ones and country being exposed to yet another war? It’d be really interesting to see Lilia from these angles.

Lilia is also a very nuanced guardian figure. I always hear people calling Lilia the “best dad” in TWST (to the point where being a good dad is ALL the fandom ever defines Lilia as), but I believe this does a huge disservice to his character. Lilia is NOT “Silver’s dad”, Lilia is LILIA, and he should not be solely characterized by his relationship to his child. Lilia is also NOT really definitively the “best dad”, he’s just the one that immediately comes to mind because we see the most of him out of all the dads mentioned in Twisted Wonderland.

He’s not a bad parent, but he’s certainly not as perfect as many people make him out to be. Yes, Lilia is a good guardian in that he adopted Silver and raised him as though Silver were his very own flesh and blood, but that doesn’t mean Lilia has NEVER made missteps in parenting or that he has NEVER done or said anything to hurt Silver or anyone else, because Lilia definitely has. He was callous in the way he told Silver they weren’t related. He endangered his classmates because he was far too immersed in pulling off a scary prank. He left Silver unattended to, sometimes for weeks at a time. He made fun of other people (along with Ace, whom people seem to universally agree is an asshole) when they were trying their darnest, then plays victim when he gets yelled at for it/doesn’t take the situation seriously when Jack implies their pride has been hurt by his words. Lilia has done a lot wrong, and I while don’t expect him to be perfect (I think being imperfect only adds to his complexity), but I don’t like seeing the focus on his positives, as it ignores a lot of his character. What Lilia truly has going for him is not that he is a “perfect�� parent, but that he is a good balance of easygoing yet stern compared to other guardian characters (Jamil is overbearing, Trey is generally way too lax, Jade is an enabler when the situation proves to be amusing, etc.), and he seems to be willing to change or to be better for others.

It might feel like a weird comparison to make, but I honestly feel like a “Lilia” in the Twisted Wonderland fandom. That doesn’t mean I’m hundreds of years old like Lilia is, but I am definitely “old” in terms of “fandom” years, as I was following TWST since the concept was initially teased. Funnily enough, I have been told before that it’s difficult to pinpoint my age based on how I act, since I can be both extremes. I also frequently get feedback telling me that what I say gives new perspectives and that people appreciate my wisdom (analyses, theories, etc.) which is really flattering and makes me sound like some revered ancestor or something 🥺 Mm… It feels like I usually have to be the “adult in the room” when the fandom is on fire or reacting very negatively and emotionally to TWST news. Like Lilia, I’m here to have fun, but I also know when to step in, offer advice, and remind others to calm down and look at a situation more rationally (ie like Lilia calming Sebek down when he freaks out over Malleus being missing).

#Lilia Vanrouge #twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #spoilers #tw // war #tw // ptsd #tw // survivor's guilt #notes from the writing raven #ask game #character opinion bingo

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agentofmischief · 3 years ago

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Birthstone Legacy Challenge

Ok, I don’t post a lot on here, but I’m a huge fan of the sims. I’ve been playing it since gen 1 back in 2000. So, I’ve been having fun with challenges, especially the past couple years with 100 Baby, and I’ve found online. And after reading hearing and reading up on Lilsimsie’s Not So Berry Challenge, I had an idea of my own challenge. So, I thought I’d share if anyone else wanted to play along.

Disclaimer: These challenges mean nothing in regards to people born in that month. I simply took symbolism and cultural aspects of each stone to create a challenging and interesting playthroughs you might not think to do.

Lifespan requirements: Normal (not sure if it’s possible on Short, but if you want hard mode, do it).

The idea is to start with your month’s birthstone, then each generation is the next month’s stone for either 10 generations (traditional Legacy), or 12 if you wan to do the full year. You could also start on the month after your birth month with a full year play-through, so your birth month acts as a “finale”. Might be helpful if say your birth month is April, and you know your month’s stone is Diamond and to you it sounds like a finisher, or if your birth month is December, and you’d just prefer to start with January’s stone. It’s up to you.

These will just be listed month by month, so they are easy to find.

Like in the other color challenges, you want to model your sim with the stone’s colors in mind. You should also build their house with their stone’s color in mind.

1. January stone: GARNET

Color: Dark Red

Garnets have a high refractive index, which causes them to look as if they are emitting light. Due to this phenomenon, travelers during the crusades would carry them to ward off evil. The stone represents Faith, Love and Constance.

Traits: Good, Ambitious, Cheerful

Goals:

- Complete the Soulmate aspiration

- Complete the Law career as a judge.

- Must maintain career until death (meaning no retirement, quitting, or being fired).

- Must have at least 2 kids after the soulmate aspiration is fulfilled.

- All children must be raised with all green character values and no lower than Bs in school.

2. February stone: AMETHYST

Color: Purple

The word Amethyst comes from the Greek word, amethystos, meaning “not drunken.” This comes from a myth where Dionysus was so enraged, he vowed his wrath on the next human he saw, which was a young woman, Amethystos. To “save” this woman, Artemis turned her to stone (note to self, don’t ask Artemis to save you ever, because her track record sucks). Dionysus calmed at seeing the stone’s beauty, and poured his wine on it, giving the stone it’s purple color. In more recent centuries, amethysts have been associated with piety and rank in the Catholic Church, as bishops are given amethysts when they are appointed.

Traits: Genius, Bookworm, Snob (If you have Snowy escape, replace one of these with Proper).

Goals:

-Complete the Knowledge - Renaissance Sim aspiration.

-Complete the Education Career as a Professor.

-Can not go to bars or nightclubs

-Max out Logic, Writing, and a musical skill (Violin, Guitar, Piano, or Singing)

-Can never marry or enter into an official dating relationship; HOWEVER must have at least 1 kid at some point to continue the legacy. This can be through adoption, which is more likely if you want to play pure piety or you have an Ace sim in mind, and the adoptee must be a child or teen. The other option is through secret woohoos if you want to play the more historically accurate, seedy way. **If you are playing with Risky Woohoos, you can have max 2 kids living with you. All others children must be removed from the house and into a Townie’s home once they become toddlers.

3. March stone: AQUAMARINE

Color: Light Blue

Due to aquamarine’s sea-like color, they’ve long been associated with traveling and the sea. Sailors used to put them under their pillows to calm themselves. They are said to inspire peace and ward off poisons.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Glutton, Loner

Goals:

-Complete Angling Ace aspiration.

-Eat out of the trash 5 times without getting sick.

-Have an aquarium with 10 fish.

-Catch a vampire squid. ** Or if you have Island Living, you must become a mermaid.

-Must eat and learn to make Pufferfish Nigiri.

4. April stone: DIAMOND

Color: White/Silver

Diamond is the hardest stone on Earth, and is often associated with wealth and treasures. The word diamond comes from the greek word adamas, meaning unconquerable. They are the most popular of the stones, and so recently have been “Lab Grown.”

Traits: Ambitious, Insider, Perfectionist

Goals:

-Complete the Scientist career.

-Complete Leader of the Pack aspiration.

-Find all the crystals.

-Must clone a diamond.

-Become best friends with Judith Ward and have a framed selfie with her in your house.

-Date/marry someone in the Style-influencer career.

5. May stone: EMERALD

Color: Dark Green

Emeralds are an old stone, first mined in ancient Egypt. Cleopatra was known to wear them frequently. They are said to symbolize fertility, wisdom, and Spring. It’s also said to heal heartbreak.

Traits: Jealous, Romantic, Materialistic

Goals:

-Master Gardening skill.

-Date and 100% romance a politician, then break up with them.

-Have at least 3 kids from multiple partners (each must have reached 100% romance first).

-Breed a frog worth over $100

-Must complete Fabulously Wealthy aspiration

-Does not marry, UNLESS you have Strangerville, and can marry an Officer in the Military Branch. However, when they die, so does your sim.

6. June stone: PEARL

Color: White/Cream

Pearls are created by oysters and are considered the “perfect” gem, as it needs no man-mad alterations. Pearls are often attributed to wisdom through experience, as well as innocence and fertility.

Traits: Childish, Perfectionist, Family-oriented

Goals:

-Must have 5 kids before becoming an adult.

-Must complete the Curator aspiration.

-Must master 10 skills. ** If you are using Tiny House perks, 15 skills.

7. July stone: RUBY

Color: Bright Red

Rubies are well known for their blood-red color, earning their association with health and vitality. They are also symbols of love, passion, and prosperity.

Traits: Self-Assured, Romantic, Self-Absorbed

Goals:

-Complete Serial Romantic aspiration.

-Master Cooking, Athletic, and Charisma skills.

-Complete Doctor Career.

-Must Woohoo at least once in each: Closet, Jacuzzi, Observatory, Bush, Spaceship, Lighthouse, Pile of leaves, Shower, Coffin.

8. August stone: PERIDOT

Color: Light Green

Peridot is the stone of compassion, bringing health and peace to emotions and the mind. It inspires eloquence, creativity, and good cheer.

Traits: Creative, Vegetarian, Goofball

Goals:

-Complete the Painter Career.

-Master Painting, Photography, and Handiness skills.

-Paint 5 Masterpieces.

-Craft a bathtub of excellent quality.

-Complete Painter Extraordinaire aspiration.

9. September stone: SAPPHIRE

Color: Royal Blue

With the most famous sapphires being Princess Diana’s iconic engagement ring and The Heart of the Ocean in Titanic, it’s now wonder Sapphires hue long been associated with nobility and power. The stone symbolizes strength, loyalty, and focus through self-discipline.

Traits: Materialistic, Genius, Insider ** If you have snowy escape, Proper takes place for Materialistic.

Goals:

-Complete the Law Career as a Private Attorney.

-Complete the Mansion Baron aspiration.

-Must start a club with Wealthy requirement ($30,000+). *If you start a fraternity/sorority in University, it counts if wealthy is listed as a requirement.

-Max out Charisma, Logic, and Writing skills.

-Must marry another club leader.

-Must get Gold in Wedding Social Event, and pay full $1750. Minimum of 10 guests.

-Must have a son. (He does not HAVE to be the continuation of the Legacy, but he can if you want. Also, if you have a born daughter, but decide to transition her, that does not count. Since it’s a click of a button without game mechanic influence, it’s kind of cheating. HOWEVER, if you decide your born son should transition, it still counts. This is mostly to take the steps during pregnancy to make a boy (since we’ve all watched others influence for a girl 1000x), That or to keep going until “the odds are in your favor.”)

10. October stone: PINK TOURMALINE

Color: Pink

Pink Tourmaline, also known as October rose, represents humanity, sympathy to others, and humanitarian work. It’s believed to carry the virtue of love that is unconditional, offering comfort to children and lasting friendships.

Traits: Unflirty, Gloomy, Outgoing

Goals:

-Complete the Politician career as a Charity Organizer.

-Complete Friend to the World aspiration.

-Adopt 2 kids (Do not have to be legacy continuation).

-Max out friendship/be best friends with 4 sims before becoming an Adult. The friendship must be maintained throughout life.

-Have a rose garden.

-Write 5 Children’s books.

-Volunteer with family 5 times.

*If you get the pop-up asking to donate to charity, you must if you have the money.

11. November stone: CITRINE

Color: Dark Yellow (almost Gold)

Citrine’s yellow stone radiates happiness, creativity, and wealth. Named for it’s citrus like color, it’s no wonder it’s the stone for a month known for it’s food. Citrine is known also as the Merchant’s stone for it’s golden color.

Traits: Cheerful, Foodie, Creative

Goals:

-Complete Culinary Career.

-Complete Culinary aspiration.

-Master Cooking and baking skills.

-Own a fruit and vegetable garden with every possible fruit and veggie in your game.

-Own a Bakery or Restaurant.

-Cook an Excellent quality Grand Meal.

-Learn 10 Food Stall recipes.

12. December stone: Turquoise

Color: Blue/Green (Teal)

Turquoise is an odd one. In European cultures, it’s the stone of friendship and attracts money and luck, but is also frequently used in Evil Eye talismans. Historically, Montezuma II gifted these gems to Cortez, the Spanish Conquistador. The Apache used turquoise as well, as a charm on their bows for better aim.

Traits: Evil, Outgoing, Kleptomaniac

Goals:

-Max out Mischief and Charisma skills.

-Complete the Criminal Career.

-Complete Public Enemy aspiration.

-Start a Kleptomaniac club.

-Steal an object worth $10,000

-Marry someone with the Good trait, and cheat on them 5 times.

Happy simming!

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fanficlibraryposts · 3 years ago

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Larry Stylinson(1D) Fic Recs

sleeping on our problems by falsegoodnight

I’m in love with you, Louis thinks. He feels empty, weighed down by his sadness and the loss of Harry inside him just moments ago before his knot finally went down. There’s moments where he’s sure Harry feels the same. Like now, when he’s gazing down at Louis with so much adoration and tenderness. It’s like they’re both on the cusp of something more, but neither of them ever say a word. His confession is on the tip of his tongue ready to slide out like honey, and yet he remains silent. They both do, looking at each other and recognizing the reluctance mirrored in each other’s eyes. It’s then that Louis realizes they’re both scared.

Or Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

*A/B/O au, so soft and fluffy with just a dash of angst*

Foolishly, Completely Falling by dea_liberty

"Now that he’s actually gone and done it, there seems to be no way of going back - no rinse and repeat, no ctrl+alt+del, no abort button, no help to be had. He’s fallen into a black hole and he cannot seem to find a way out. The black hole is also known as Tumblr. More specifically, it’s known as Tumblr’s Larry Stylinson tag."

OR: The one where Louis becomes a Larry shipper by accident.

Put It All On Me by LoadedGunn

"Yeah, yeah, give it to me, that's it, spread your legs a bit, there you go."

The camera follows Louis as he does. Maybe if the modelling thing doesn't work out, he could try the porn industry. Then again, he's a bit too stocky to be twinky and a bit too twinky to be anything else. He likes that about himself, though. Well, directors and photographers like that about him. He could pull off pretty and edgy, could do GQ in the morning and a perfume commercial in the afternoon. Right now he thinks he could pull off anything, because it's Harry fucking Styles directing him.

Or, a Top Model AU where Louis is accidentally there to make friends, not become Britain's Next Top Model. (Also Zayn is the supermodel host.)

Promises We Made by thekindofworld

Its been five years since Harry and Louis broke up; they were seventeen and nineteen and it was messy to say the least. Cue Louis, who is worked off his feet making clothes for celebrities, Harry dropping his debut album, Niall who likes to avoid his insecurities by dragging Louis on Holiday, Zayn and Perrie as Louis' right hand stylists, and Liam who wishes Harry would just tell him about his ex-boyfriends before he contacts them about working for him.

Its either going to be a disaster, or the perfect timing they've all been waiting for.

*I’ve been very into fashion au lately*

but me, i’m not a gamble by orphan_account

A Posh & Becks AU in which Harry is a star on the stage and Louis is a star on the pitch, but they're both inexplicably terrible at articulating their feelings. In the end, it only takes a season's worth of failed matchmaking schemes, platonic dinner dates, road trip holidays, and one very convenient David Beckham cameo for them to figure it all out. And if Niall knew all along? Well, he at least has the decency not to be too smug about it.

Boys Fall From the Sky by fookinloosah

Superheroes. America is full of them — complete with masks, nauseating pseudonyms, and neon spandex suits. There’s none of that nonsense in Britain, thank you very much…until Harry Styles’ X Factor audition takes an unexpected turn, and Britain’s first hero is born.

Also featuring Louis as a man of many masks, Zayn the rebel comic artist, Liam as Britain’s counter-attack to Justin Bieber, and Niall the trusty guitarist.

*I adore this fic, one my all time favorites*

The Last Something That Anything by jaded25

"You know my heart - so tell me honestly, did you ever really want this? So I’ll sing this song for every word that comes out wrong But I’ll be okay – is that what you want me to say?"

In the end, it's neither the fame or the pressure, nor Management or the constant hiding and denying that tears them apart. Or maybe it's a sum of all and so much more on top. In the end, it's Harry.

When Harry leaves the band - leaves Louis - to pursue his dreams of a solo career, he breaks much more than just One Direction. It's a gamble and a new start for each of the boys but while Harry walked away smiling, finally having got everything he apparently dreamt of, Louis is left to pick the pieces up.

Some hearts don't break even, some are simply shattered. So can you really learn to un-love someone?

*So deliciously angsty*

no pressure, no diamonds by karamelised

A life of crime means there is no nine to five, no white picket fence and definitely no happily ever after. In a life where lying gets you everywhere and stealing things becomes a sport, there is no place for romantic endings. Louis knows this, and so does Harry. Problem is, they're both wrong.

Louis is a thief, Harry a grifter. They are thrown together for a huge diamond heist in Paris, where their past soon catches up to them.

Blood Right by Evina1234

“Is that-him?” someone next to Louis asks. “Who else would dress in red if not for him today?” Beside Louis, Lady Camellia had her eyes locked on the one in red garbs, as same as many around them. Clearly this must be intended, or why dress in such a way today at first place? “My... He looks dashing." the first one licks her lips, eyes darkening in a laced lust. "Who would've known? Thought he'd be in chains, stuck in a dark dungeon." The other scoffs. “Have you been under a rock? He's the most privileged Lycan alive. The King's ward, some go so far as to call him his consort. It’s all hushed, but I have my sources.” she reveals like a dirty secret. In a world where the Vampires have taken over, Humans are just pawns in blood farms, Warlocks are extinct while the King has Lycans under his thumb - eliminating the threat of the lethal bite. The world is falling apart. Louis, nephew to the malistic Vampire King, lives away from it all in blessed ignorance until he gets dragged into the chessboard that traps him in front of a green eyed Prince who is bound to a miserable fate. Or where Louis wants to save Harold, the Prince of Lycans, when Louis' allies want him DEAD

*super intense, vampire au with political intrigue mixed in*

the one that leads me on through by colourexplosion

Louis was certain that he was done with his tenuous connection with fellow skater, Harry Styles. But then, you know, the universe throws a wrench in all that when Simon takes Harry on for the next season.

Or, an AU in which the members of one direction are actually figure skaters.

Disclaimer: The fanfiction above were not written by me for I am not nearly as creative. However, I am an avid reader and movie buff so these are some of my favorite fanfiction within the fandom. I politely ask that you read the tags attached the fanfiction beforehand so that you know what you are getting yourself into, there may be crossovers. If you don’t like it then don’t read it. In addition, I ask that there be no bashing, the fics are based on my preferences and what I like. Lastly, if there are any specific genre or fandom of fics you want me to get into let me know through my ask box.

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years ago

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Comte AU Event

Aight because I have Comte brainworms (is this a surprise to anybody I sure hope not), there’s something I’ve just been thinking about a lot ever since completing one of the story events a month ago:

The cover art being very sexy aside, I naturally did Comte’s story event and I have yet to move on. Namely because of one specific line. (Disclaimer: Keep in mind I don’t mean to say I’m an expert, I just translate for fun--I don’t have the same prowess as an official linguist. That being said starts the circus music let the show go on)

"...it amazed me. You never stopped trying, never stopped helping others or gave up on them--even while every day was a living hell for you."

This is the line I want to dive into, but before I can really talk about it, we need proper context.

Event spoilers below:

This event is a little different since it’s an AU, so the mansion and its residents don’t exist. (Comte lives in the mansion on his own, but it’s not the same one we know.) Instead Comte, Leo, and Arthur are stand alone suitors who have turned MC into a vampire. Because MC has no clear memory of how and/or why it happened, MC is seeking vengeance against her paired hottie--and fully intends to end their life one way or another.

Aside from how sexy revenge is and how much I love the enemies to lovers trope, Comte’s entire storyline gave me more life than I can humanly convey. Here goes nothing!

So it begins with MC knocking on his door and Comte answers it and literally just stares at her silently like some kind of Furby. MC starts out by saying she’s been trying to narrow down the bastard that ruined her life and her search has finally brought her to his doorstep. She basically demands the truth from him and he just keeps. Staring owlishly (lmao). He eventually relents and tells her that a conversation is much better held inside, and invites her into his home to talk.

She's sus as hell but enters the house, and he asks if she's had blood. This stops her in her tracks, shook, and her monologue drifts to explain a few things. When she woke up years ago, a new vampire, she had instructions to approach the Rouge/Blanc dispensary for what she needed. The staff there told her that everything was paid for, and she continued to receive support from an unnamed benefactor. She asked them for the identity of this person, but they were beholden to customer confidentiality. As such, she's been searching for information to narrow down her target for years until she finally found him tonight.

Despite the years it doesn't mean she's any more comfortable with her new existence. She notes that she still tends to stick to drinking Blanc--only drinking Rouge (in other words, blood) when she has no other choice. When Comte puts the Rouge on the table, she becomes notably unsettled. She's thirsty, but she won't concede to his request that she drink it; she refuses.

(I feel like he can probably tell because he's her sire/because of his experience with vampires). Comte--naturally--refuses to let her go hungry, so he knocks it back and kisses her to get her to drink it. He lets go as soon as she's swallowed it, and doesn't resist when she shoves him off. She rails at him about how awful he is for doing that, he agrees. She asks if he was the one that killed her parents, he confirms with blasé indifference. She's fuming quietly, but she notes that he doesn't really look happy or triumphant about it. What he's saying isn't reaching his eyes; his gaze is distant and sad. And it's confusing her. Isn't he supposed to be the enemy?

She's lost in her thoughts and unresponsive until there's a loud cry from outside the house, the shriek of a nearby owl. She snaps out of her daze to see that she still has his hand in a vice grip from when she shoved him off, and his skin is blanched--she cut off his circulation from the pressure. She releases him, startled, but he says nothing.

She's trying to sort out what's going on, and doesn't have enough information to really piece anything together. She wants to hate him but things aren't making sense. Why did her parents have to die in the first place? Why does he bother keeping her alive at his own expense? Even just now, what he did felt more like an attempt to get her to eat than anything else. Why isn’t he more malicious? This MC is desperate for answers, and she says as much: "What are you hiding…?"

Comte doesn't answer her, just averts his gaze and remains silent. MC decides she won't do anything until she learns the full extent of what happened the night she was turned. Furthermore, she's well aware of Comte’s status being a problem. If she goes too far without proper motive, the aristocracy could come back to bite her in the ass. (The implication here is that she's more concerned about being wrong and living with that regret, rather than any necessity to protect herself. The state of his gaze--the melancholy there--keeps eating at her. Until she knows why, she won't move forward.)

Comte is shocked that she demands to live alongside him in the mansion, but he doesn't take any issue with it. He says the mansion is pointlessly huge for one person anyway--she's welcome to stay. Either way she wins with this arrangement: either she gets the truth or she finds an effective way to destroy him by the end. And so their little cohabitation begins!

After a timeskip, MC recounts how she's been spending her days in the mansion. She's been tidying around the house, both in the hopes of finding evidence and/or in the hopes of repaying all the years of living on his assistance. He doesn't stop her, letting her do as she pleases and keeping his distance.

One day, she's about to step out into town to grab some groceries. Comte approaches at the front door, cautioning her to be safe--there have been many reports of scuffles/dangerous encounters. MC brushes him off, unsurprised he knows what's going on in town. He's very well connected to the aristocracy, and she notes that he's often at dinner gatherings and parties when he's not home. She insists she can't let her guard down, that he can't be trusted; no matter how kind he is to her face.

Another day, he asks her to attend a ball later in the week. He tells her she's under no obligation to stay with him while they're there, just that he wants her to take some time and relax--to have fun. She tries to insist that going to something like that would be more stressful than fun but he won’t hear of any protest, walking away before she can fully reject the outing. (Comte, an idiot, speed-walking out of the room: and that is what we call finessed). She sighs, thinking she'll be nothing but a burden to him given her lack of knowledge about events like that. She doesn't really know the proper etiquette or how to dance, it’s completely out of her depth.

Surprising no one at all Comte buys MC a dress and accessories to match regardless, and when she comes down the staircase leading to the front door he's awestruck. He tells her she's beautiful and she's miffed by the raw sincerity, trying to remind herself that he is eeeeevil. He knows how to talk to women given his status, he's just smooth talking... (She's trying to convince herself, essentially.)

And so they go, and she's a bit of a wallflower. He leaves her alone--doesn't want to bother her--while she sticks close to one wall. Several men ask her to dance, but she politely declines. Her monologue explains that, given what she is and the fact that she’s only living for revenge, she sees no merit in trying to court human men. She sees it as irresponsible and inevitably disastrous, and…

[Given the nature of what I am I just can't. I can't fall in love with a human man. Besides, the only person I really want to dance with is...as much as I hate it, my line of sight keeps drifting to Comte. Suddenly he looks up and meets my gaze, but I hurriedly look away--my heart pounding in my chest. Why. In a room full to the brim with people, why do my eyes keep looking for him. Whatever, time to go cool off for a bit.]

She leaves the ballroom--mortified at herself--to get some fresh air. Not five minutes into trying to figure out whatever the hell is going on with her shitshow of a life, a man appears asking what she’s doing alone. And da da da d a Zelda treasure chest sound effect he whips out a knife covered in blood and tries to stab MC. Naturally, because I’m an idiot, my first thought was:

TW: knife attack

TW: homicides by serial killer

But it turns out our local serial killer remains nameless in this event, so I can point no fingers. MC is panicking about needing to run and frozen in place from the shock, but Comte appears to pull her out of range--knife sinking into his back. He doesn’t react much to the violence as the attacker runs away, yanking out the knife and focused on checking her for any wounds. She’s still reeling from how quickly he reacted, and he reassures her (probably at the sight of her bewildered/worried look) that law enforcement is on alert in the area. They’ll find him, they’ll arrest him.

She tries to ask him why. Why would he protect her like that? His first instinct was to take the hit and ensure her safety first, and it doesn’t make sense. Comte reassures her again, joking that purebloods are sturdy. See? The wound’s already healed c:

[Even though I've been spending all this time trying to get my revenge on him, my heart stopped when he was attacked. As if to reassure me, frozen and speechless, Comte smiles gently. This person.......I can't do it. I can't kill him without meaning, without being sure of the truth.]

"...Comte, I can tell you're a good person. What happened that night, so many years ago?" Because even now, he's still protecting me. "Please...tell me the truth. I want to know."

[I know this isn't the time or place, but if I don't know I can't worry about him with a clear head.]

TW: human trafficking and drugging unconscious

Comte concedes and goes into what happened that night so many years ago. Apparently he was acquainted with her parents long before the incident, and they fell into debt as a result of gambling. He approached their home in the hopes of paying them a visit, checking up on them, only to encounter tragedy. They intended to sell their daughter off and the man they ended up making a deal with more or less slaughtered them all in cold blood. The reason MC doesn’t remember any of this was because her parents drugged her the night it happened. No consciousness, no resistance.

"In that room suffused in the odor of blood and despair, I found you, MC." Her pained, struggling cry is what led him into that room--and seeing how desperately she was fighting to survive, he turned her against all his better judgement. Feeling certain she would hate him forever for the choice he made compounded by her terrible circumstance, he bailed, leaving her instructions and resources to survive on her own.

"Sold off by your own parents, attacked by a serial killer, seconds from death. I thought....I thought telling you about it would only bring you pain, that it would leave you numb from the shock and despair. That's why I kept it from you.”

"...After turning you, I was consumed by regret. I felt certain you would hate me for the choice I made. So I left." [When I don't know what to say, he keeps talking.] "But I was worried about you even so. I tailed you quietly, making sure you were getting along okay. I was fully aware you wanted to kill me for what I'd done. Even so, I wanted to check on you."

And that is where the line comes in.

"...it amazed me. You never stopped trying, never stopped helping others or gave up on them--even while every day was a living hell for you."

He admits that he fell in love with her after a point. And she’s baffled, considering she’s been looking for every reason to tear him apart--assuming he was the perpetrator when he actually saved her life. She protests immediately, asking how he could possibly feel that way after the level of vitriol and judgement she’s levied against him when he was only trying to help.

"That's not true at all. At heart, you're a very kind young lady. You haven't raised a hand against me all this time. And even when you considered me to be a repulsive presence, you were worried about me."

At this MC is conflicted--because his words are a further extension of his equanimity. He’s well aware that he brought about all the confusion by not being honest, but it’s also clear there was no ill intent involved in that decision. He was concerned; hitting her with that level of misfortune and senseless terror all at once could have been incredibly destructive to her health. (This isn’t to say he made the ‘right’ decision; I don’t think there is any right decision in the face of such a complex situation. Given he takes full responsibility for what happened and does his best to help her, I think that’s a fair response.)

This is essentially where the common rt ends. But because I’m feral for Comte and enjoy talking about him, I’ll finish up the summary and then go on to do my analysis.

After that riveting assault, MC is feeling very lost about how to move forward. Her fury at Comte’s injustice has all but evaporated, which means a complete re-evaluation of how she’s going to move forward from now on. Does she continue with her revenge anyway, still angry for the dishonesty? Or does she try something new?

If you do the premium end that means choosing to forgive Comte and climb him (as he deserves). Therefore I, being an intellectual, chose to ride him into the sunset.

The premium end begins with Comte taking her to another ball because the first one kind of went to shit and he feels bad about it (retraumatization was not in the plan...). And so MC basically does the same thing as the first time, just vibin and taking in the scenery, thinking things over. Comte’s concerned about her not having fun, so he approaches her to ask if she’s feeling okay. He makes it clear that he really doesn’t mind if she dances with someone else--even if he admitted his feelings for her. She doesn’t owe him anything, and he has no intention of imposing on her future.

"Whatever it is you choose to do, I don't mind. I just want you to be happy"

[This person is so, so gentle...His words penetrate deep and settle with warmth over my heart, my chest light.] "Comte I.......I don't want to dance with anyone but you." [I still don't know what to do about the future, but for now I think following what my heart is telling me is the best move]

"!!!....well then, if you insist..."

Comte’s just:

He’s beyond shocked, but accepts her invitation when she confirms it’s what she wants to do. Leading her in all his infinite grace, MC marvels at his ability to dance so elegantly--even with a partner who’s deadweight, like her. She also finds it astounding how easily he makes her forget what they are, how easily she just enjoys the moment; no turmoil, no lingering in the worst of her miseries. She’s just...having fun? For the first time in so very long.

[Comte murmurs in the short distance, clear remorse on his face--as though he can't help it.]

"MC, it's kind of you, honestly. That you'd give me the time of day, that you'd agree to dance with me. But I...I'm the one that turned you. There's no denying or escaping that fact. If it's you, I'm ready to accept any consequence. If you want me gone, you're free to attack me. If you just want to be as far away from me as possible--to live your life in peace and solitude--I will do everything in my power to help you."

[He said it as if he was trying to convince himself. Like he was trying to remember why he couldn't assume more of this single dance together, why he couldn't let hope emerge from this single shared moment.]

[.....I'm not that kind, Comte. I asked because it's you.....Feeling his warmth beneath my hands, I come to a decision.]

There’s a timeskip, and then MC--being the badass that she is--knocks on Comte’s door the night of the crescent moon. He lets her inside more than ready to accept her judgement, whatever it may be. MC asks about his feelings, seeks to confirm that he still loves her before she confesses herself.

"Comte. Comte you said--that you loved me right?"

"Yes that's correct...no matter how much you might hate me, these feelings won't change. I love you."

[Hearing those words again sets my chest on fire. And I decide to tell him my honest feelings.]

"I love you too. But......I've held a misguided grudge against you for so long, is it okay for me to love you now?"

[Can that misunderstanding really be forgiven? Am I allowed to love you? Comte's eyes widen, and the breathtaking gold of his eyes shimmer/waver.]

"...shouldn't that be my line? I mean even despite the circumstances, I still made the choice to turn you :o Can you really forgive me?"

"...If I'm honest, I still have a hard time drinking blood and I'm a little scared of an immortal life. But......I think if I could spend that eternity at your side, I could find the means to smile again. And....the thing is....I also want to see you smile, to make sure you remember how to smile."

".................." [Le Comte stared at me, before extending his hand. And he hugged me so, so tightly.] "MC......."

[In that single word all the raw emotion of ten years can be heard. It was an indescribable sound--one that spoke of an unimaginable, impossible love. This person loves me so very dearly.]

The event ends with them biting each other as proof of their bond, essentially a vow to stay together moving forward. It felt very much like the shared act of biting was a promise of love, how vampires might get married or commit to each other romantically. The summary essentially ends here.

Here’s where the semi-meta comes in, because I literally just can’t stop thinking about the implications of this event.

"...it amazed me. You never stopped trying, never stopped helping others or gave up on them--even while every day was a living hell for you."

I just...I just don’t even know where to begin with how hard this line hits. Comte’s MS conveys this sentiment powerfully too, but there’s just something about them choosing to emphasize it yet again. The reason Comte falls in love every time has to do with his MC’s strength, her ability to surmount remarkable obstacles with so much poise. She’s deeply in tune with her reality, but no less relentlessly positive. She won’t burden others with her problems, and she’ll do everything in her power to move forward in constructive ways.

Even when every day was a living hell. Both Comte and Leonardo perceive eternity to be something of a curse; an endless sentence. Whether it means suffering boredom, reliving tragedy, or going nigh numb from the loneliness--being an immortal creature isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.

And that’s exactly why I think he fell in love with this MC? I don’t think his feelings would have run half as deep if it was just anyone. He doesn’t strike me as the type to get attached easily. Because if he’s going to have a life partner, he needs someone who's going to be able to roll with whatever life throws their way for conceivable lifetimes. Somebody that loses heart quickly or is easily prone to delusion would suffer eternally, and the last thing he wants is to subject a person to that. MC gives him hope certainly, but she’s also emblematic of a kind of fortitude he both needs on a personal level and she would need to be beside him. It’s interesting because it’s a responsible choice on his part, but also just very befitting of his nature. He’s somebody that staunchly believes in the ability of good to prevail, but he’s also realistic about it. He knows doing the right thing isn’t necessarily easy; he does it because he could never live with himself if he did otherwise.

(Think about Comte’s approach with Jeanne. It meant years of being on the receiving end of hatred he didn’t deserve, but he didn’t mind if it meant Jeanne could find a way to heal. It’s not the most practical or immediate solution, but it is the most restorative option. Comte doesn’t care that he spends years living alongside Jeanne’s outspoken displeasure and even violent outbursts. Why? Because it’s all a means to a greater, better end. If he has to suffer a little discomfort, he’s willing to make that sacrifice. That’s the thing with Comte; intentionality is everything. Comte’s intention is to help. Whether that’s a short or long process, a smooth or rough process, he’s going to do what he can within his means.)

That dynamic is reflected in his respect for this MC who is filled with fury on behalf of all the life that she lost unfairly, her relentless pursuit for the truth of what happened to her. Notice, she’s more interested in truth than retaliation. She refuses to lay an intentionally violent hand on Comte until she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was worthy of being on the receiving end of that retribution. Who does that sound like? If you guessed Comte himself, then you see where I’m going with this. What MC and Comte have in common is that they have a sharp emotional fortitude that they keep under tight, rational control. They will react with sizable passion or hurt or warmth--but their externalized reaction will vary depending on the situation. If it’s a minor annoyance, they have the patience to diffuse and try to alleviate the problem. If it’s on a larger scale or it’s an egregious violation of their personhood, then they up the ante accordingly.

Think about it. MC appears on Comte’s doorstep full of righteous rage and even when he confirms what he’s “done,” she hesitates. Her emotional intelligence is telling her something isn’t aligning properly; something isn’t quite right. She forgoes immediate revenge for proper answers instead. MC and Comte have this kind of balance, where they are more than happy to hear people out--but there is a limit to that propensity. Push them too far? They’ll bust your head. I guess I’m particularly interested in the way Comte seems to yearn for that kind of identification with a partner. Somebody who has similar values: not merciless, but also won’t bend when a situation requires confrontation.

All that being said, there was one more aspect of the story that I was endlessly interested in. I’m going to link the post here, in that it’s tangentially related to this meta; it really made me better able to articulate what I mean to say.

“Never let generosity hold hostages; courtesy is an essential tool, but a cruel master.”

I’m gonna let that sink in for a moment.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot, because it’s very rare that I read something once and I’m forced to read it several more times before I begin to understand it. My interpretation of that line is to say that benevolence can showcase your good will to others; it can be a reliable proof of good character, and a way to help someone. But the problem comes when people do conventionally/perceived generous things with the explicit intent of repayment by some measure. While it is only responsible to care for others as they care for you, you shouldn’t make impossible sacrifices with the expectation that the other person is indebted to you--especially if the other party had no ability to consent to that sacrifice.

How does this apply to Comte in this event story? Er, in almost every way humanly (vampirely?) possible, in my view. Comte turns MC into a vampire after seeing her plight, largely because he gets the impression that she was fighting for her life--had impossibly survived against all odds. The situation is complicated though. MC wasn’t fully conscious when it happened, so she doesn’t have a proper understanding of how everything went down. So what does Comte do? If he can’t bear to face her or reveal the truth of how horribly she died, he at least gives her every means to survive and makes sure she’s doing okay since she’s technically an orphan now. He doesn’t interfere with her life, or demand recognition for the life he gave her. He fully understands that she wasn’t able to properly consent to his decision in that split second moment, and even if she had he doesn’t see it as a debt she owes him now. He was able to help save her life for at least a little while longer, and so he did. It was as simple as that. He had the ability, she had the need. That’s the end.

But Comte’s emotional acuity doesn’t just end here. Even when she comes after him to kill him, he doesn’t respond with anger because he knows full well he hasn’t explained. Sure he’s sacrificing their relationship (the ability to get along on half-decent terms) but if it means she can find a reason to live, then so be it. He doesn’t lord that sacrifice over her head by any extension; he’s just sad about it because he thinks she’s a wonderful person, and he doesn’t want to be estranged from her. But in his view, her needs supercede his wants.

He doesn’t force her to do chores around the house during her stay, she does it to keep herself busy and search for the truth about his intentions. He even asks her to take breaks and look after herself first, more concerned with her well-being than the state of the mansion. At the ball, he doesn’t force her to linger around him or dance with him despite inviting her there and giving her the dress/jewelry to attend. He leaves her alone as she wishes, only glancing at her to make sure she’s doing okay. When he takes the hit from the violent stranger--a knife straight to the back--he jokes about being s t r o n k, never once blaming her for the wound he sustains no matter how brief.

He explains that he didn’t tell her the truth because it was incredibly traumatic, and it’s only in the safety of the moment--after years of having conceived of her own selfhood beyond the event--that she’s able to take the weight of what happened without falling apart. The premium end just keeps hammering this shit home. He openly tells her she doesn’t have to dance with him at all, that she doesn’t owe him anything just because he likes her. He’s aware it’s unrequited (he thinks) and he doesn’t go on and on about all the sacrifices he made for her with the expectation she’ll reciprocate. He just did what he wanted to do, nothing more. If she feels the same way by some miracle, that’s amazing! If she doesn’t, as it would be valid if not, that’s fair too; no hard feelings.

She has to be the one to invite him to dance and insist. She’s the one that smiles fondly when he’s telling her that she can choose whatever outcome she pleases, even if it means wanting to live as far as possible from him. There is no guilt trip, no expectation, and no pressure. She has the freedom to leave or stay. It is entirely dependent on her own will. For the first time in a lifetime of loss, her agency is restored to her. That’s huge.

She even admits that she feels bad about being so angry when he really was just trying to help, now that she can understand what he’s doing. And he’s openly shocked to hear it. He had no intention of expecting or asking for an apology. He understands it was his own imposition, both biting her and obscuring the truth, that led to her setting her mind on vengeance.

I’ve probably hit it home harder than necessary, but Comte just feels like the epitome of good will in the best way possible. One can argue he’s a little selfish for keeping the truth from her for so long, but honestly? Given the horrific trauma of her situation--and his personal fear of making her miserable for an eternity when all he wanted was to give her a second chance away from all that hurt--I feel like his reaction was closer to considerate and reasonable. Comte doesn’t sacrifice anything he isn’t unwilling to give, or anything that would cripple him to give. Furthermore, he doesn’t make love out to be a kind of 1:1. He recognizes that while he might know her well, she doesn’t know squat about him. And, as such, he doesn’t expect her to trust his intentions or reciprocate his feelings in any capacity. It’s just a delightful surprise when she does. When he tells her that he loves her that first time, it’s an explanation. Not a guilt trip. He knows she won’t be satisfied years of protecting her simply because “he wanted to” and he promised her the truth, so he tells her. Not only that, in the aftermath he repeatedly reminds her she isn’t bound to him. She commits to him before he relies on any kind of active bond between both of them.

I don’t know, maybe I think too hard about it, but I feel like the older I get the more I see a shortage of this kind of fine-tuned caring about the other person in a relationship. I guess I just enjoy seeing a man give a woman her health and agency without treating her wellness/happiness like it’s a burden to his life? First and foremost Comte really is concerned with her self-actualization before his feelings can have any place in their relationship. And even when he does confess his love, it isn’t a way to force her to feel indebted to him; it’s an attempt to erase any false pretenses. MC loves him, not because she has nowhere else to go, but because he’s proven himself time and again a worthy companion. Always putting her first, always worried about her feelings, paying such close attention that he sees her to the core of who she is despite her iron front--kind, beneath all that hurt. They spend so much of this event really listening to each other despite such difficult circumstances, and it leads to a deep and abiding love against all odds. And I find that incredibly moving...

Oh and, before I forget? Let me circle back for a moment:

"...it amazed me. You never stopped trying, never stopped helping others or gave up on them--even while every day was a living hell for you."

The best part about this event is that--while Comte says this about MC--this is also precisely the reason MC falls in love with Comte too, even if it’s never stated outright. Because despite how lonely and tired he may be of eternity, no matter how many troubles he’s facing himself, he never stops trying to help and support others (namely MC) in any way he can.

Drops mic

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp jpn spoilers #ikevamp meta #ikevamp au event #comte propaganda #fangdad propaganda #i love him so very dearly #this event just made the feelings come rushing back #can't have five minutes without comte giving me heart palpitations huh #i feel so personally attacked #anywho i hope yall enjoy this wild ride as much as i did #minnie finna peace out and sleep for 70 hrs #**dives into bed beside comte**#rambles #not incorrect quotes

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nacrelyses · 4 years ago

Text

normal album analysis as a musical: the child

first a disclaimer: i know this interpretation was not will wood’s intention in making the album, this is just how the music resonates with me and i hope it helps other people as well.

now following up on my last post about the normal album potentially being interpreted as the life of a queer child in a conservative family (tw internalized and external queerphobia, gaslighting, mental illness).

let’s call this ..hmm.

a normal musical: the child.

suburbia overture: the aforementioned overture, the establishment of the musical setting as your typical white picket fence upper middle class suburb nuclear family. traditional values, traditional lifestyle, traditional children, with the vampire culture segment foreshadowing the way that imposing conservative values and self-loathing on a closeted queer child “sucks” the life out of them.

2econd-2ight-2eer: when the child starts questioning, the very act of questioning defies the moral compass their family has set out for them. possibly reflecting the way that questioning and exploring one’s identity, in addition to being rife with internalized queerphobia, is also fraught with the self-gaslighting that comes as a result of the internalized queerphobia, which might make the child believe they’re simply “losing it” or that whatever they’re experiencing is a mental illness. also the first stanza: “my grip on my secrets slipping while i’m speaking in tongues, screaming at the top of my lungs in the confession booth” religious trauma much?

laplace’s angel: the child has begun to come to terms with the fact that they are most likely queer, and the complete deterioration of their family’s imposed conservative values. this is the phase where the internalized queerphobia still makes them feel as though they’ve become a bad or evil person, thus laplace’s angel being them internally pleading for the world and for society to see them as they really are rather than a villain deviating from the norm. that if others were in their shoes, they’d walk the “same damn miles”, the same damn crises, the same damn emotional turmoil, that the child is currently going through .

i/me/myself: gender cannonball...need i say more? maybe the child believes, as a product of internalized transphobia, that it would be easier if they were their assigned gender - or perhaps, depending on the individual, maybe the child is wishing to be able to exist as their true gender. in either scenario, this song encapsulates the desperation that comes with exploring identity. the freedom that arrives with a revelation and the immediate restriction that comes with realizing that that revelation can never be truly realized in a queerphobic family. or even the bitterness at knowing their family makes such a huge deal about queerness, that queerness is somehow a gigantic roadblock their family will never be able to cross. both realizing your identity and still grappling with the idea that if you were born into the “norm”, you wouldn’t need to go through all this pain to try and figure out who you really are. it’s the turmoil of being genuine in a society that would actively oppress you for doing so and putting up a facade that somewhat lessens the aforementioned pain, but at the cost of further internal suffering.

also, to my fellow genderqueer and gender nonconforming will wood fans (and let’s face it, which one of us isn’t?): i see you. i see your spotify listening activity. i see the loop button. i would ask if you’re okay but i know we’re not

...well, better than the alternative: parenting angst here, maybe alluding to the parents themselves perpetuating toxic cycles that they never had the opportunities to realize or heal from. the child is born amid these toxic cycles, and although this toxicity (the queerphobia, for example) is the norm in this suburban family, deep down the parents don’t want their child to turn out the way they do. meanwhile, on the other end, the child is feeling as though “everybody’s up in my goddamn business” - maybe the parents are starting to suspect that their child is less than cishet (or maybe the child has come out to them), and within their denial of their child not turning out the way they want them to, maybe they unconsciously realize that it’s their own toxic parenting styles that have made their child so afraid and secretive about who they really are. if this is the scenario that the child has come out to their parents, they have decided that even if they are existing in a conservative family, they will be existing as themselves. or if it is a closet scenario, the child has decided that they will continue to hide themselves from their family for their own safety. in either situation, the child believes that the decision they made is “better than the alternative”

(this song also makes me remember hospitals a lot so there’s that)

outliars and hyppocrates: we start off with some more religious (trauma) imagery. maybe the metaphor of the apple is trying to indicate to the parents, through the conservative lens of seeing queerness as something bad, that the child was not “brainwashed” or “taught” to be this way. that they simply are. the rest of the song grapples with that internalized queerphobia, maybe the child feeling that they are less than human because of their queerness but who’d want to be human, be the norm, anyway? if the child is made to feel Other, then they ought to embrace and wear and own that Otherness - out of defiance, out of desperation, but ultimately out of a need for survival.

blackboxwarrior: i want to focus on the chorus here. the child’s mental struggles are exacerbated by the lack of acceptance they receive from their immediate environment, but the chorus acts as sort of a defiance against their internalized queerphobia. so what if their parents’ values portray queerness as an illness, something that will kill you? if it was going to kill the child, it would have by now; and it hasn’t, so surely the child is heading in a right direction to be exploring and reclaiming their identity. and then the bridge - “growing up, how was your relationship with the fundamentals of conscious existence?” ties back to i/me/myself’s grappling with the idea of self and existence in one’s body. growing up, how was the child’s relationship with the environment that dictated how they ought to exist and be perceived? and “what, you think ideas spread because they're good? / no, they spread because people like them” can be pointing to the conservative ideas that are perpetuated by the child’s family. these ideas do not spread because they’re good. they spread because the family wants an excuse from some higher power to discriminate against those they feel are outliers from the norm. “so here we are once again, holding, as it were, a mirror up to your mirror / i guess it's just something people do” can be pointing to how the way the child is trying to come to terms with their identity is by overcoming the toxic ways of thought that their parents taught them, and which their parents are still bound by. if the parents are to find out that their child is queer, their reaction will be to ask, “why? we don’t understand you?” but they are really only talking to the mirror, to the reflection they have constructed that they believe their child to be. their child is not that reflection, and they are going in circles, but that’s just what people do, i guess.

finally, the bridge being formatted sort of like one’s first session with a therapist or psychiatrist leads into marsha, thankk you for the dialectics.

marsha, thankk you for the dialectics: a heavily psychiatry-based song. marsha thankk is about the intertwining of the self with the illness and i value that meaning a lot. i can’t think of another way, nor do i particularly want to think of another way, to embed this song’s meaning into the child. it has grown obvious by this point that the child has their own mental illnesses to grapple with - whether they arose as a need to cope within their toxic home environment, or out of other factors, is not particularly important to be clarified. i would say that the meaning of this song in this musical is just what it was originally intended to be - the child, on their path to recovery, slowly separating those toxic coping mechanisms from themselves in order to really realize their identity.

love, me normally: i wrote a long ass post about this at 12am this morning.

memento mori: the musical’s closure. this song embodies a lot of nihilism about one’s existence and one’s meaning in existence, and i would like to think that this song being the musical’s closure is not closure in the sense that it gives you a “where are they now” glimpse, or that it gives you the final direction that the child has decided to head in. rather, memento mori exists in this musical as the child’s innermost thoughts about their own existence as somebody who seemingly defies the (supposed cishet) order of the universe. it is the child’s darkest, most shadowed and hidden ruminations about their life and what their death may bring, if anything at all. throughout the child’s life, throughout the musical, these thoughts have only been hidden, obscured and glimpsed in passing when the lyrical puzzles of the normal album’s previous songs unfurl (think, “if it was gonna kill you boy, it would have by now” and “am i pretty enough to fucking die” and “good news for the purists, they’ve discovered a cure for the symptoms of being alive / it’s a painless procedure with a low rate of failure, but very few patients survive”, etc). but as the musical’s finale, memento mori brings these thoughts into their very antithesis - into the light. it illuminates the rawness of the child’s pain in learning to accept and love themselves. it brings these thoughts into tangible and articulated reality for two reasons:

for the audience, as both a warning of the results of such a toxic and intolerant family/environment and an articulation of the thoughts perhaps many of us, ourselves, have to contend with at some point in our lives.

and for the child themselves, so that they can fully realize these thoughts. so that they can parse them, articulate them, unlearn them, and begin to heal.

memento mori in this musical is, paradoxically, a song about death that encourages life to heal.

anyways that’s what i’ve got so far now i have homework i should...do....oh god-

#will wood #will wood and the tapeworms #the normal album #suburbia overture #2econd 2ight 2eer #laplace's angel #i/me/myself #well better than the alternative #outliars and hyppocrates #blackboxwarrior #marsha thankk you for the dialectics #love me normally #memento mori #the normal album analysis #will wood analysis

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sukirichi · 4 years ago

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heeeey do you have any advice for newbie writers?

writing advice for newbies!

disclaimer: the advice i’m going to give (funnily enough) is not something that i always personally do. i’ve been writing both fiction and non-fiction for years, i only came to tumblr because i wasn’t satisfied with how i kept pressuring myself to write “high literature” after gaining awards and recognition for my stories. my fanfiction here in this blog...it’s unrefined, definitely not what i used to write before because i’m a lot less serious about it and i’m just writing freely. but the advice i’ll list below is personally some stuff that has helped me a lot in my entire writing journey! Some are technical, some are personal! down below will also list some tumblr related writing advice!

1. Keep writing! No one is born a great writer. Before I actually started publishing/posting my stories, I remember I spent at least five years writing the most random crap just so I can get a feel for what my style is. Plus, the more you do things repeatedly, it’ll come eventually like second nature to you and you’ll find the words are flowing. Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing! Even if you’re not satisfied with your first work, that’s okay, just keep going on!

2. Be mindful of what tense you’re using. NOW I KNOW I DON’T REALLY FOLLOW THIS BUT THAT’S BECAUSE I DON’T EDIT MY FICS LMAO, but you could totally do this! So in writing, we have “voices.” The narration will always use tenses of whether the entire story will be past tense or present tense and it’s important this remains consistent in your entire story. This one is TECHNICAL, this just help improves the flow and formality of your story. As for me though, I don’t really care about the tenses anymore because like I said, I just write freely with no regards for “creative writing techniques.” an example of past tense is: Suki jumped to Naoya’s arms. “My love!” she called, wrapping her arms around him. (RIP EXAMPLES) and present tense is: Suki jumps to Naoya’s arms. “My love!” she calls and wraps her arms around him. (this could be real flexible tho, this is just an example ehehehe)

3. Be mindful of dialogue tags! There’s a huge difference between putting periods and commas after dialogues. Like for example, “Suki loves Naoya,” she declared. If it’s followed by an action, the comma is best. Or example, Suki said, “I really love Naoya.” If the statement can stand alone, then it can be “Suki really loves Naoya./I really love Naoya.” There’s better explanations here! And one more thing, you should put the commas/periods inside the quotation marks. There’s more variations/explanations here but generally, this way of writing,,,example: “Suki really loves Naoya”, LIKE??? if it’s a dialogue, put the commas/periods inside the quotation marks.

4. PARAGRAPH BREAKS. I cannot stress this enough. There should be a variety in the sizes of your paragraphs. Long paragraphs should be followed by smaller ones, varied with medium paragraphs and then so and so forth. There’s no formal sequence that it should be LONG – MEDIUM – SHORT – MEDIUM – LONG, writing is flexible, just make sure you’re varying the lengths because reading long, chunky paragraphs with no end is equally annoying as reading paragraphs that are always 1-2 sentences and then a paragraph break.

5. Outline, outline, outline! Whether it’s long fics or short ones (excluding drabbles, I don’t think you need them that much) outlines will help you have a more solid feel of your story, and you can easily track your story flow when you have your ideas plotted out. or me, my outlines is in the form of Dialogue Outline, where I write out all the dialogues first so my pages will be just conversations then I’ll add the monologues/actions later. That’s personally what works for me, you can discover your own writing style <3

6. Research! Now this is pretty funny for me to say this because I don’t really do research, at least not the “how to effectively write this type of role” or whatever. Of course it’s better if you try to learn more about the concept you’re going to write about (like if you wanna do a vampire AU then read Twiligh – JK THAT’S A BAD REFERENCE, SORRY NOT SORRY, love the memes tho!) or you can do my own way of researching, which is reading other people’s fanfics! Not only do you get a vibe of how this character is like, but you also get to support other content creators!

7. You don’t need verbs all the time. Sometimes I see stories wherein ALL dialogues have “said” “screamed” “explained” on EACH line and here’s the key: as long as the readers can understand which character is speaking, you don’t need dialogue cues all the time.

8. PUT THE KEEP READING TAB. I cannot stress this enough, but please put the keep reading tab. Drabbles are fine without them, but if it exceeds maybe 400 words then you’re going to need that. Sure, it’s easy to scroll past a long text, but some fics are super long and without the keep reading tab that it can be quite a hassle to whoever sees it.

9. Have your own writing safe space. Now this could be more personal than technical, but I absolutely cannot write or focus when I’m in a public space or when I’m being bothered. So if you want to write, SHUT THE WORLD OUT and dive deep into your imaginations, let the noise of your fantasies be louder than distractions.

10. Take your time! I guess that would be my best advice. You don’t have to rush anything at all, and one more thing, DO NOT OVERTHINK! Maybe this is just me but I honestly don’t really try to dive too deep in the technicalities anymore :// I’ve been in Creative Writing class for years and it stressed me out that my writing teachers always told me “not to use big words because no one will understand that” or “don’t try to paint the picture too clearly because not everyone has that big of an imagination” and I was like ISN’T THAT THE POINT THOUGH, TO MAKE PEOPLE IMAGINE THINGS? but yeah anyways, maybe this is just me again, but I find that I write better when I’m not overthinking too much on how to write a “perfect” story. I don’t always have the prettiest words to use. I don’t always have the most intricate plot. I don’t always have the most poetic content that is “inspiring” or “moving.” Sometimes I write stupid shit that has no plot at all, and that’s okay. Just write whatever you want tbh, I’d say my biggest advice is to not worry too much about having the “perfect” story. It’s still great to do research and want to improve your writing skills, but hmm...I guess I’d say the most important thing is that you enjoy what you do!

11. “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” – Ernest Hemingway. This is one of my favourite quotes because it’s true, writing is both complicated and simple, but as for me, writing is something that I don’t want to stress too much about. There isn’t really an actual right or wrong, there isn’t a law, just some techniques that could help you improve, but at the end of the day, it should be about the steady state of progress or the “creation flow” that matters the most. Just write, that’s it. You’ll get there eventually and you’ll start creating magic before you know it. Just let the words flow and build, worry about quality later when you edit it. Or you know, if you’re lazy like me, just post it when you’re done LMAO. really though the BEST advice is to enjoy the process and not stress too much about it!

here is a previous ask i answered that may be of help too!

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #suki: writing advice

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