#it was irrational but i was like REALLY upset recently when he answered a question w the written orders operation javier file

[geddy-leesbian]

ngl weirdly salty that there's already like an Established Leon Lore guy. does not matter how much i meticulously document everything about DSC lore, literally no one will ever come to my ask box on @leon-stupid-kennedy to ask a lore question. I guarantee if the vast majority of my mutuals had a question related to Darkside Chronicles Leon they wouldn't come to me, they'd run straight to highball. don't get me wrong highball is GOAT, but like when it comes to Darkside specifically I'd say I'm more useful. like I'm not trying to be arrogant or say I'm a Leon expert or anything but I don't think he's even played DSC ever, I had to get him screenshots of costumes once when he posted about not being able to find them and also he wasn't aware that the cutscenes are pre rendered or whatever so costumes don't work in them. I have a phd in darkside chronicles at this point but i don't have cool name recognition so why even bother asking me when you could just ask highball because his word is gospel who cares what anyone else knows about leon

No matter how hard i try i will never get lore questions or requests for anything because ???

Like even outside of darkside i feel like i have enough cred to be someone who would maybe get a luis lore ask once in a blue moon bc ive analyzed his fucking trash can and found a HIDDEN ROOM IN HIS HOUSE NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER GONE IN but nope no one cares about heathers thoughts at all! my opinions are worth nothing i exist to pump out gif and screenshot sets. the only time i get headcanon/lore/anything asks is when i pathetically beg which makes it less fun! :) literally how the fuck do people judt get spontaneous asks.

I do so much work taking screenshots of EVERYTHING and compiling lore and no one gives a shit because I'm not some household re fandom name like highball or eric. I'm the weird loser outcast of the fandom that's never fully included. You'll drive by and maybe slow down and reblog a gif set of mine or a shit post, but you're keeping your windows rolled up, you're not engaging with me.

Once in a while I'll get thanked for what i do but idk it just rings hollow sometimes. Ppl tell me ive done so much for the fandom but the fandom doesn't seem to be aware of that seeing as a lot of re blogs that interact with my mutuals constantly refuse to follow me or engage with me in any way beyond reblogging my shit posts :) literally people who joined the fandom long after I did have more RE mutuals than me. whenever a new person pops up in the fandom everyone flocks to them and they'll follow back and interact with a ton of people, but not me! :)) like do I need to change my blog theme? Trash the ugly wall of disorganized text. Oh wait no that won't do anything because even when I had a super clean/neat/organized blog description I was ignored like I am now :)) something about me is inherently off putting to other RE fans and I should just give up <3

[crossover-enthusiast]

Also I've forgotten if I've shared this au version of this specific tape with you, but here's said tapes explanation incase I didn't

So basically, in this tape, there are these reports that they do every month to check if the performers are still capable of dancing around and doing their choreography right and doing the performances and skits right. I'm just gonna nickname the Guy recording the tape 'M'.

M is recording because his boss(William) wants 'proof' that the performers are doing their job right. M makes a sarcastic comment towards William, commenting on an unrecorded incident. Apparently, Tom has lost his left arm, but they're still making him perform anyway. M makes a pity filled comment towards Tom, before heading into where he's supposed to be.

When he gets in there, Tom appears to be sitting in the room, waiting for M. M will basically type out a report/email as the test/report happens, and will also record while doing so. So M decides to ask Tom a required question for the report, but Tom answers it, and complains afterward that his neck and head really hurt. When he attempts to "fix it", he ends up accidentally hurting himself, and the footage cuts briefly for a moment as Tom lets out a pained shriek/grunt

It then cuts to M standing behind Tom, saying that he's basically gonna help out Tom with his injury before continuing with the report. M records himself bandaging Tom's neck, and makes small talk with him, saying he(Tom) shouldn't have to do his job still considering he lost his arm recently. M asks why he lost his arm anyway, and Tom mysteriously says he'd prefer not to talk about it.

Afterwards, the footage cuts to M continuing the report. M decides to do a test that requires Tom to do a performed choreography with mainly his arms. Tom does so, and it goes well for a few minutes, before the bandage to his left arm accidentally falls off.

It cuts to M, re-bandaging Tom's arm as Tom let's out slightly pained gasps and grunts. M tries to reassure Tom that the report will be over soon, and that he promises he'll try to be more careful.

It then cuts to M continuing with the report, requiring Tom to do a choreography that mainly involves his legs. Tom does so, and it actually goes pretty well.

M then tries to continue writing the report, and looks away for a brief moment, but then looks behind him, and sees that Tom is now closer. M tries asking if Tom needs something, and Tom ominously says he doesn't need anything. Tom seems to be kind of avoiding any other questions. M makes a comment about William, which causes Tom to literally glare at him while staying silent. M nervously decides not to finish what he was about to say, and nervously continues with the report.

It cuts to M sitting in front of Tom, seemingly doing a required "check-up". It goes pretty well for like a few minutes, but then M decides to slightly touch Tom's face for some reason. Something about this triggers, err.. recent bad memories within Tom, and Tom becomes upset. Tom starts to lash out at M, basically attempting to fight him in an irrational manner. In a attempt to defend himself, M grabs a nearby heavy object, and slams Tom in the face with it. This does.. a lot of damage actually, to the point where M is actually a little disturbed by what he has done to Tom's face. As Tom yells at M in an irrational and manic manner, M attempts to run away and get out, but the door is locked. The power cuts, and Tom goes ominously silent and vanishes as M panics.

Tom then appears from behind M, and begins to quite literally sob in an almost pitiful manner, he seems to still be having a breakdown. M is disturbed and dumbfounded by this, but then Tom lunges forth, and screams in a violent manner while attacking him. M attempts to get away, and successfully does so for a moment, but then Tom lunges at him again, this time pinning him against the floor. The footage finally ends after having an ominous glitched out version of Tom's figure in it, and it is implied that Tom most likely killed M as a result of his breakdown.

Ohhhhhhh damn

[bestworstcase]

First of all thank you for pointing out that Tai's advice would obviously only be about the fights he saw not Yang attacking Adam since he would have no idea what exacly happened there unless Yang told him details and even if she did I doubt he would blame her for what she did. Secondly I really wonder why there is so much more hate towards Tai for his failings than other parents or parental figures such as Qrow or Willow whose alcoholism has had much more of an impact much more recently. Not saying we should write them off as bad I actually love how their relationship with the kids was handled and shown to be quite complicated. It just seems like Tai's depression and the consequences of that are irredeemable while the failings of others barely get a mention. I really cannot tell why that is. It can't just be people loving Yang so they don't like any flaws being pointed out right?

a few things, imo 🤔

i think a big part of that is that qrow/willow have like. A Reason.

not that tai doesn’t have reasons for being the way he is but there’s no, you know, clear specific Reason behind everything bad that he does. like, qrow’s terrified of his semblance so he isolated himself which makes him miserable so he drinks all the time as a way of coping with that. or jacques abuses willow and essentially stole her company out from under her, so she’s miserable, so she drinks all the time. right?

leaving it at that is reductive, obviously—qrow has a lot of additional layers of complexity and depth, and while willow is a far more inconsequential character than he is she nonetheless has nuance beyond having been abused into alcoholism. but, the point is that they have A Specific Thing that unambiguously caused their personal failings, and that Specific Thing is represented, for both of them, by the visual symbol of alcohol, which has the additional benefit of giving them something tangible and immediate that they can Choose Not To Do as an illustration of their commitment to getting better.

tai, though. tai has reasons—raven left, summer died, his team fell apart, the world is falling apart, he’s raising two girls by himself in a cabin in the woods with what seems like minimal outside support, he’s got a heap of his own emotional baggage, parenting is fucking hard even under the best of circumstances—but he doesn’t have A Reason. why doesn’t he tell yang about the prosthetic arm as soon as he gets confirmation from ironwood? why does he turn away when his daughter is suffering? why try to tough love her into taking a big step she just said she’s not ready for? why is he still at home in v8 even though he implied in v4 that he would like to find ruby? there’s no obvious single answer. the closest thing tai has to A Reason is that summer’s death left him acutely depressed for a while, but then he got better, and that happened almost fifteen years ago—it doesn’t have the same immediate presence in tai’s character that misfortune has in qrow’s or jacques has in willows.

and i think that makes people kind of uncomfortable? we see tai brush off yang’s feelings or do nothing when she has a flashback or make a callous joke at her expense and there’s no clean, easy way to explain why he does that—there’s just tai being a flawed human being who fucks up while earnestly trying his best, and tracing the nebulous tangle of things that made him into this person doesn’t satisfy that fundamental desire for A REASON in the same way that qrow being haunted by misfortune or jacques hollowing willow out into a drunken shell of herself does.

aaand sometimes when people get uncomfortable we lash out; we feel upset or angry at the thing that made us uncomfortable, and no one wants to be irrational so of course we try to find reasons to justify those feelings, and often when the thing that made us uncomfortable is a fictional character what that looks like is vilifying them. all the more so if the character in question happens to hurt a character we like and/or relate to, because that adds in a level of defensiveness on behalf of that character against the wrongs (real or perceived) done by the one we don’t like. and of course because this is all fiction it is largely consequence-free; the character isn’t a real person with real feelings who can be hurt by us ranting angrily about them on the internet, the character doesn’t exist. so the real-life incentives to like, check ourselves and remind ourselves to give other people the same compassion and understanding we give to ourselves largely just don’t exist in this context.

secondly tai’s particular failings are very much tied to his inadequate support of yang while she’s recuperating from having her arm cut off, which is such an enormous, enormously fraught scenario to begin with, and then he gets it wrong in a way that is going to feel VERY familiar and VERY personal to anybody who has had a mental health issue and/or physical disability at any point in their lives. his kinda, oh it’s all in your head, quit holding yourself back, mentality is—yeah. gkdshj i think a lot of people who really strongly dislike tai are probably responding to the ableism in his attitude toward yang, which just isn’t a factor with any of the other parents in the show.

and again yang being a beloved protagonist inflames that reaction; we’ve all heard this kind of shit a million times, often from our own parents, we know how much it hurts, and it’s very natural to feel indignant or enraged or sad or defensive on behalf of a character we see not just being treated this way but seeming to internalize these ideas about herself.

thirdly, both qrow and willow are 1. aware of their failings and 2. making active, genuine efforts to do better. qrow starts inching towards sobriety in v5, relapses in v6, and then not only gets sober in v7-8 but also starts to work through the emotional issues that sucked him into alcoholism in the first place. and willow made her entrance into the story by expressing concern for weiss’s safety, implicitly acknowledging her failures as a parent (“you left him here. with us.���), and providing weiss with evidence that proved jacques’s wrongdoing and led to his arrest; and then in v8 we see her overcome her panicky desire to drink so she can protect her children from the hound, both by helping weiss track it through the manor and throwing herself into physical danger to rescue whitley when it cornered him.

they’re both firmly on a trajectory of GETTING BETTER, and the narrative invites us to root for them. yes, they made huge mistakes, hurtful mistakes, but they know it, they regret it, and they’re trying so hard to do better and fix it.

tai, though? it’s an open question whether taiyang even realizes that he messed up, at this point. he did his best, and from his point of view it probably looks like yang made a full recovery, and now he’s… doing whatever it is he’s doing on patch while hoping his daughters are okay out in the world. he’s not getting better. he’s not trying to fix his mistakes, and in all likelihood he doesn’t even know that there’s anything TO fix because he’s been so isolated since yang left. there’s nothing for the audience to root for because hasn’t begun to change, yet.

it’s a lot easier to cut people some slack if you can see they’re really trying to do better than before, yeah? in fiction as in real life. if/when tai comes back into the story and starts having to confront his own failings i think it’s pretty likely that general fandom perceptions of him will soften up.

[eliemo]

What Matters

Summary: It’s not that Virgil thought the dream would ever become a reality. It’s just that sometimes, it’s nice to see the flaws in his logic laid out plainly in front of him. 

Notes: past abuse mention, past violence mention, nightmares, sympathetic dark sides and light sides

Taglist:  @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @mygenderisidiot @a-very-gay-raccoon @dawnfire7 @cr4zyart @ray-does-stuff @whydoifeeltheneedtoorganizestuff @bunny222  @the-blue-recluse @bisexualdisaster106 @basilthefourth @snowtrashowl @thefingergunsgirl @trashtm @stubbornness-and-spite @kieraelieson @alias290 @darkch1ld @craz-ewaters @damy-02 @frogdog145 @gattonero17 @madamedraconis @stoicpanther @@love-to-read02 @that-spider-fan-over-there @thatoneloudowl @rich-flower-17 @demigodbookdragon @i-gobymanynames

Masterpost

Virgil stumbled into the hallway, shivering under the blanket wrapped around his shoulders, breaths coming in panicked, shuddering gasps as tears blurred his vision. 

“It was an experiment, Virgil.” 

“It seems the others were onto something, after all.” 

Logan’s voice kept ringing in his ears (it wasn’t Logan’s voice, he knew that. He knew Logan would never say those things), cold and calculating, but smiling through the nightmare, relieved for things to finally return to how they were supposed to be. 

It was a dream. Just a stupid, stupid dream that his idiotic brain had decided to torture him with tonight. 

He’d never...had a dream like this before.

Virgil paused at the top of the stairs, hesitating with his arms wrapped around himself, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to decide what to do. 

He knew it was ok to get someone after a nightmare. The others had practically insisted after they had learned how frequently he had them. 

They all helped in their own way. Patton would chase away memories of the past, holding him close with promises that he was safe, that he would never be trapped again. 

Roman offered distractions from his fears, colorful stories and grand reassurances, the prince swearing to fight off anything that might threaten his safety. 

And Logan...Logan brought him back to reality. Logan calmed him down, grounded him, reminded him where and who he was. He pushed aside irrational fears and worries with his usual logic, his reasoning slowly putting Virgil’s racing mind at ease. 

Logan was who he should go to now, after his dreams had warped reality, made him question his own safety in the waking world. 

But...

A flash of pain, a hand grabbing the collar of his shirt and slamming him to the wall, hard enough to leave him wheezing. 

It hadn’t been Logan. Logan would never. He’d promised, and proved his good intentions time and time again. Virgil wouldn’t be where he was without the logical side’s help through his recovery. 

He trusted Logan. He loved him- he loved all of them more than he knew how to say. He owed them everything. So there was no reason his stupid brain should come up with something so horrific. 

The things he’d been told hadn’t even made sense. It was just exhausted, paranoid thoughts that had unfortunately come to life in an incredibly vivid nightmare. 

It was something he’d used to worry about, back when the others had first accepted him, Virgil’s terror and confusion convincing him that their kindness was fake, that they would turn around and hurt him too as soon as they were fed up. 

He knew better now. They showed him every day, over and over and over again, that he was safe. That they loved him as much as he loved them. That he wasn’t the only protector in the mindscape. 

That he didn’t deserve the pain. He never had. 

His mind played tricks on him all the time. Hell, sometimes it liked to torment him just as much as the Others used to. He should be used to dreams like this by now. It shouldn’t be leaving him so shaken. 

But the feeling had been so familiar, the dream so eerily vivid, digging up old, long buried fears. It had been confirmation that the Others had been right, that he’d deserved it all, that no one had ever actually wanted him to feel protected. 

It was so stupidly unrealistic. And so, so terrifying. 

He wrapped the blanket tighter around himself, held his breath to make as little noise as possible, and descended the stairs by himself. 

Besides, if he told someone about this particular nightmare, he’d only end up upsetting them. They didn’t deserve that. 

So that was how Virgil ended up pressed into the corner of the couch, wrapped up in a blanket and willing himself to stop his violent trembling. It was just a dream. Just a stupid, unfairly realistic dream. 

He didn’t turn on the television, despite knowing the sound would help distract him. His hands refused to move, still clutching tightly at the blanket around his shoulders. 

He stayed where he was, distantly aware the other sides would be up in just a few hours, staring blankly at the wall, letting the awful dream replay over and over again in his head.

The first rays of pale sunlight had begun filtering in through the mindscape’s windows by the time Virgil heard movement upstairs, the familiar creaking of someone moving through the halls. 

He didn’t move, despite how his back protested the way he’d been hunched over for quite a while now, watching warily as Janus made his way downstairs. 

Virgil wasn’t sure if he should be terrified or relieved, but he couldn’t help but smirk at the way Deceit did a double take when he saw the anxious side huddled up on the couch. 

He knew Janus had only recently learned what had happened to Virgil, the beatings always happening when his back was turned, and since Virgil hadn’t actually been the one to say anything, he had no idea how much Deceit knew. 

It still made him uneasy sometimes, the worried, guilt ridden looks he occasionally caught the snake watching him with, the glances he and Remus would share, the less than subtle attempts to give him his space.

Virgil seemed to be the only person Remus was actually careful around, the Duke sure to lower his volume and tone down his movements when the anxious side was in the room (which wasn’t saying much considering the energy Remus had, but Virgil appreciated it regardless), and ever since the panic attack in the kitchen, Virgil hadn’t seen his Morning Star anywhere in sight. 

It was a work in progress, Virgil still wary and unsure around him, but the two of them were gradually learning to coexist and understand each other. 

Janus was...a different story. 

A blind man could see the guilt Deceit was carrying onto, the denial, shock, and anger that never seemed to give him a moment's rest. 

Or maybe Virgil was just able to pick up on it because he’d gone through the exact same thing. He still was. 

Deceit, self proclaimed lord of the lies, hadn’t picked up on the violence and abuse the others had put Virgil through, never once allowing himself to pick up on the little white lies thrown around to keep Virgil helpless. 

And as much as he wanted to sometimes, Virgil couldn’t blame Janus. It wasn’t his fault- the others had known what they were doing, and they’d known Janus would put a stop to it the second he found out. Kicking Virgil around was a pastime they were far too invested in to lose. 

But there were days when pain and sickening fear from memories that wouldn’t leave him alone, when flashbacks and nightmares and panic attacks became too much to handle, that Virgil wished, more than anything, that Janus had intervened. That he’d let himself look closer. That it all could have stopped sooner. 

And he knew Janus wished the same thing. It was probably why he was awake at five in the morning looking like death warmed over. 

Janus was still standing at the bottom of the stairs, and Virgil offered a shaky peace sign in greeting.

“Hey,” he said, grimacing when he realized that it absolutely looked and sounded like he’d been crying for the past hour and a half. Great. “You’re up early.” 

Janus seemed to visibly regain his composure, quickly straightening his back and offering a smirk that didn’t reach his eyes. “Look who’s talking.” 

“I’ve been up a while.” 

He saw Janus frown at that, fiddling with his sleeves, uncertain. “Are you...alright? Do you want coffee?” 

And yeah, that was as much of a heart to heart as either of them were going to have this early in the morning. Virgil wasn’t exactly in the mood to talk about how one of the most ridiculous nightmares he’d ever experienced had left him trembling and crying like a child afraid of the dark. 

“Fuck, yes please. Go get me caffeine.” 

It was enough to get a genuine smile this time, some of the tension seeping out of Deceit’s shoulders as he made his way to the kitchen. 

He was fine. He was home, he was safe, and things were good. The nightmare would fade, as dreams do, and in a little bit they would all eat breakfast together like a family. Like they always did. 

There was absolutely no reason he should still feel so scared. He should be looking forward to everyone waking up, not feeling like he was being led down to the gallows with every tick of the clock. 

Janus was back in just a few moments, two plastic mugs in his hands, and Virgil tried to ignore the way his stomach dropped at the sudden thought of what would happen if he spilled on the couch after he was handed his drink. 

Nothing. Nothing would happen and no one would be mad. God, he needed to get a hold of himself. 

Nothing was going to change. And yet…

“Janus?” he asked quickly, the other side stopping in his tracks. “Where...where are you going to be today?” 

He could feel Janus staring, but Virgil now kept his gaze firmly on the steaming coffee in his lap. 

“My room, most likely,” he said. “I have some things to attend to today.” 

“Could you-” God, this was stupid, this was so needlessly stupid. “Could you like...leave your door unlocked? Just- um...just in case?” 

“Just in case...what, Virgil?” 

“Y-you know.” And really, what was he supposed to answer with? Just in case he’d suddenly been granted the gift of prophetic dreams and he needed a place to hide when Logan started beating him? “Just...in case.” 

He risked a glance up, relieved when there was no ridicule or annoyance in Janus’s eyes, just gentle confusion like he was trying to silently pick apart Virgil’s thoughts. 

“Alright,” he said quietly. “My door isn't open if you need anything.” 

It was...new, Virgil realized, having these careful, honest conversations with Janus. He wasn’t about to drop all his defenses and retell the details of his nightmare, and Deceit knew that, but they were still miles better than they’d been just a week ago. 

“Thanks, Janus.” 

Janus made his way back upstairs, hopefully to get some more sleep, and Virgil settled back against the couch, significantly less shaky than before. It was just a stupid dream. He’d be ok. 

Virgil was aware he was being a complete asshole. 

He’d made the mistake of assuming the paranoid jumpiness from his dream would fade as soon as the mindscape came to life and everything continued on as normal. He hadn’t expected it to get worse. 

He was pretty sure Roman and Patton could tell something was up, but Virgil managed to plaster on a nervous smile and force himself to breathe easy as he was seated at the kitchen table, listening to Roman ramble as Patton started cooking breakfast. 

And then Logan was walking in, muttering a quiet greeting, and the panic had hit full force. 

Which was completely ridiculous, especially as Logan just offered him a warm, tired smile and made his way over to the pot of coffee. 

It was the same Logan he saw every morning- welcoming and safe, and a very large part of the progress Virgil had made over the months. 

Logan would never hurt him, nobody would...no one was going to…

“Come here, Virgil.” 

There were hands grabbing at him, nails digging into his skin, overpowering and so painfully familiar. 

“Virgil!” 

“Virgil?” Logan was looking at him now, brow pinched, and suddenly they were all staring at him and Virgil couldn’t breathe- when had it become so hard to breathe? 

He stood up from the table, the chair scraping against the floor and nearly tipping over in his rush, stuffing his hands deep into his hoodie pockets to hide the way they were shaking.  

“I- uhm, I’ll be right back.” 

He didn’t have any other excuses. No good ones at least. But the panic was wrapping around him like a vice, cold, cruel hands squeezing his neck, and Logan was taking a cautious step towards him--

Virgil sank out without another word, his mind momentarily set back to the old, terrifying mindset, screaming at him to get out, to run and hide before someone grabbed him…

God, what was wrong with him? 

He ended up locking himself in his bathroom, turning on the sink so the rushing water would drown out his rapid, panicked breathing, turning harshly away from his reflection in the mirror. 

He was fine, he was fine, he was...trying really hard not to plan out escape routes and hiding spots in his head. 

It was an old habit that had practically been second nature to him before living with the light sides, and even a few weeks after. It had helped him feel at ease, pinpointing places he could keep himself hidden and out of the way, even if it often proved to be pointless. 

It was how he’d ended up in the closet, covered in blood with shards of glass coating his skin, so deep in his panic he’d been convinced his family was hurting him. 

He couldn’t risk falling back into old habits. Not now, when he’d been making so much progress. Not over something as meaningless as a dream. 

But he couldn’t bring himself to leave the bathroom. Not when so many eyes would be on him the second he stepped back into the kitchen. 

So he took extra time to do his makeup, layering on black eyeshadow to cover up how utterly exhausted he looked from his restless night, and took another few moments to stare blankly at the wall when he still wasn’t quite ready to come out. 

When Patton came to check on him, Virgil blamed it on a bit of queasiness and promised to eat something later. 

The guilt became suffocating when he realized the panic didn’t return with Patton’s voice, but it definitely was back with a vengeance when he heard Logan walk down the hallway a few moments later. 

Logan didn’t deserve this. Everything the logical side had done for him, the endless patience, assistance, and careful compassion, and Virgil was right back to being a pathetic mess. 

So maybe that was why he didn’t bother to be subtle about trying to avoid Logan for the rest of the day. Besides, even if he did try to hide his uneasiness, the logical side was always able to pick up on the little things. It would just be a wasted effort. 

Virgil stayed cooped up in his room as much as he could, blasting music in his headphones to drown out any sounds. 

When he did leave (at Patton’s gentle insistence that he eat something for lunch) he was sure to never end up in the same room as Logan, quickly retreating or sinking out whenever the logical side walked in. He resolutely ignored the twisting guilt in his gut at Logan’s small frowns when Virigl would blurt out some half hearted, see-through excuse each time. 

He just needed a day or two. Just a little bit of time for the residual panic to fade and for things to go back to normal. It wasn’t logical, maybe, but...Logan would understand if he knew. 

Except he wouldn’t, and that was part of the problem, wasn’t it? 

Virgil was well aware how difficult he was to deal with, especially earlier on. Logan had sacrificed so much time and effort to teach him, and the others, how to gradually undo the mindset Virgil had been conditioned to have. 

All that work, all that trust, and Virgil was letting one night of nightmares influence him more than any of it. Logan...Logan would probably be furious with him. 

But not enough to hurt him. Never enough to hurt him. 

Virgil wasn’t...afraid of Logan. Despite proving the exact opposite every time he so much as caught a glimpse of the logical side today, Virgil was still coherent enough to know Logan wasn’t going to turn his back on a year’s worth of progress to strike him. 

It was just...instinct taking over. Besides, in the nightmare, Logan’s reasoning for needing to hurt Virgil hadn’t been completely unreasonable. 

Hell, before Logan had explained otherwise, Virgil had thought it was totally understandable that he needed to be hurt. He hated it, but it helped Thomas. That was a fact. 

And like Logan always said, numbers didn’t lie. If Virgil being in pain was beneficial, then Virgil would stay in pain. 

But Logan had been the first one to tell him that was false. He’d been the one to lay out the real facts and evidence to show how Virgil hurting would only worsen Thomas’s health, and his own. 

They’d all helped Virgil realize, for the first time, that he never should have been hurt. He’d never deserved it. Any of it. 

That was why he just needed to wait it out. He couldn’t talk this one out with the others, couldn’t face Logan just yet. It would just end up hurting him (that was what Virgil did best, after all) and Logan didn’t deserve that. 

Unfortunately, Virgil was starting to really wish he’d had the courage to ask for reassurance when the sky grew dark and the mindscape quieted, and he quickly realized he was far too on edge to go to bed. 

He was right back on the couch where he’d started the day, somehow even more jumpy and paranoid than he’d been that morning. He stared blankly at his phone, wondering if the dream would return if he fell asleep. 

Great. He’d probably be pulling an all-nighter. Maybe multiple if he couldn’t get a grip. Patton was going to kill him when he found out. 

“Virgil?” 

Virgil’s anxiety skyrocketed at the voice from the staircase, breath catching in his throat as he dug his nails into the couch cushions. He didn’t look up, even as he felt Logan’s eyes on him, completely frozen under the weight of his gaze. 

“Virgil,” Logan said again, steady and emotionless, impossible to read. “May I speak with you?” 

Virgil’s heart was beating in his now tightening chest, and he furiously told himself to calm down. But his body wasn’t cooperating with his mind, panic overpowering reason, and Virgil desperately searched for an excuse before Logan could realize how terrified he was. 

“I- um...I was just heading to bed, so--” 

“I only require a moment of your time,” Logan said. “As you usually sleep at a much later hour than this, I’m sure that won't be an issue.” 

Virgil took a shaky breath, wincing when he realized how obviously unsettled he must look. Logan didn’t sound angry, but...well, it was always so hard to tell. 

But there wasn’t a way out. He just hoped he could play it off long enough for Logan to give up. “Ok. Yeah, what’s...what’s up.” 

He tried not to think about how eerily similar this was to the nightmare. How Logan had calmly asked to speak with him. How he’d pulled out his notebook and presented neatly recorded data of Virgil’s health paralleled with Thomas’s. 

“It seems Thomas’s productivity has only decreased since we began treating you as an equal, Virgil.” 

“It seems the Others were right, your pain does make life easier.” 

“We will, of course, have to return to that method. You understand, I’m sure.” 

Virgil resisted the urge to flinch as Logan sat down at the other end of the couch, careful to keep his distance. 

He wrapped his arms around himself, shuddering under the phantom feeling of hands grabbing him, so tight it bruised his skin, both from nightmares and memories he could never let go of. 

“You’ve been avoiding me today.” 

Virgil did flinch this time, curling into a tighter ball. “N-no I haven’t.” 

Yeah, that was convincing. He could practically picture the exasperated eye roll Janus would give him if he were here. He kind of wished someone else would show up- anything to cause a distraction. 

Logan wasn’t here to hurt him. Logan would never hurt him. No one would hurt him. 

“I can...see my presence is causing you some distress,” Logan said, and Virgil felt like crying. “I do not wish to force you to speak with me, but I’ve clearly done something to trigger a reaction.”

He paused, obviously waiting for some kind of response or confirmation. Virgil squeezed his eyes shut, and Logan sighed before continuing. 

“It was never my intention to do anything to upset you. As is always the case, I only wish to identify the trigger so it does not happen again, and offer my sincere apologies. But I cannot do that if you won’t talk to me, Virgil.” 

God, why couldn’t Logan just be angry? He wouldn’t go back for anything in the world, but sometimes…

Sometimes it felt like being screamed at, punched and kicked and thrown around until he couldn’t move had been easier. At least then, he knew what to expect. 

Nobody had cared about him back then. And now...now Logan, Patton, Roman, Janus, and even Remus just wanted him to be ok. It scared him sometimes, how much he loved them. 

“It...it’s not that,” Virgil said, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s...fuck, you didn’t do anything Logan. You...you’re fine.” 

Logan was silent a moment before responding. “I find that hard to believe. You are currently under visible distress, which didn’t begin until after I made my presence known. This has happened every time I have walked into the room today. You skipped breakfast after I--”

“Look, I’m sorry, ok?” Virgil winced at his own outburst, now looking anywhere but at Logan. God, why was he always such an asshole? “I’m...sorry. I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to...it’s just me, ok? I’m being stupid like always and--” 

“You are not stupid,” Logan cut in, that stern but gentle tone he always used to talk Virgil out of a self deprecating spiral. “You tend to overthink and jump to often unrealistic conclusions, but as I have told you many times that does not change how intelligent and thoughtful you are.” 

Virgil shrugged, the praise just making him feel more guilty about what he was putting the logical side through. “I’m still being stupid, though.” 

“Falsehood. Something has frightened you, and clearly I am at the source. I only wish to assist.” 

Well. Now he was going to have to tell Logan. Even if he was upset afterwards, annoyance was far better than Logan walking around, weighed down by guilt and blaming himself for something he didn’t do. 

But apparently Virgil hesitated just a second too long, and Logan was suddenly speaking again. 

“Perhaps we can try a different approach,” he offered. “Could you...explain why you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong?” 

Virgil took a shaky breath. “You’re...gonna be mad.” 

“At you?” Logan asked, and Virgil nodded. “I sincerely doubt that. Why do you believe I’m going to be angry?” 

Virgil hunched over himself, and suddenly everything came spilling out. “Because...because you’ve done so much. I owe you all everything and I still...I’m still letting myself panic over a stupid fucking dream. After everything! And you...you don't deserve that. I-I’m sorry for avoiding you I didn’t mean to- to make you think--” 

There was a hand on his shoulder, barely brushing the cloth of his hoodie, but Virgil still flinched back before he could stop himself, and Logan quickly pulled away. 

“Sorry,” Virgil muttered. “I- I’m not--” 

“No apologies necessary,” Logan said, sounding much more calm than Virgil would have expected. “There’s no shame in being affected by a particularly bad dream.” 

Virgil scoffed, glancing up just enough to see Logan’s worried frown. “Sure.” 

“I mean it, Virgil. Especially considering your past. I understand if a vivid nightmare was enough for you to revert back to an old mindset. Staying vigilant and avoiding threats is what kept you safe back then, isn’t it?”

Safe was a strong word- he had never really been safe before, but...avoidance had been a survival technique. If he thought someone was angry, the only thing he could do was stay out of their way and hide. 

“But it’s you,” he argued. “I...it was so stupid you- you were saying that they were right. When...when they said that hurting me helped Thomas, and then...and then you showed me all this- this fucking data or whatever that me being safe hurt everyone and I...y-you all said I had to go back to how it was and I…” 

He trailed off, face burning when a few traitorous tears slipped down his cheeks, and he furiously wiped them away with his sleeves, breathing deeply. 

“Virgil--” 

“I’m fine,” he said quickly. “I’m...I know it’s dumb, ok? It’s just a stupid dream and you would never...I mean, if any of that was true you would have said something months ago, right?” 

For the first time, he looked up to meet Logan’s gaze, suddenly finding himself speechless at the sheer amount of emotion behind his glasses. Warm but worried, calculating and understanding. 

And then, slowly, he was standing from the couch. “Please wait here just a moment, Virgil. I believe there is something you should see.” 

And then just like that he was gone, hurrying up the stairs without another word. For just a second, Virgil considered retreating, and apologizing for this entire conversation tomorrow when he was more put together. 

But he didn’t need to make this any more unfair for Logan than it already was. Besides, the logical side was back in less than a minute, something held tight in his hand as he returned to his spot on the couch. 

“What’s that?” Virgil asked, hoping his voice didn’t betray just how sickeningly nervous he felt. 

Logan held it out to him, slow enough that Virgil didn’t flinch at the movement. He took it in his hands, realizing it was a plain black spiral notebook, and his heart clawed its way up to his throat. 

“What’s--?” 

“Flip through it, please,” Logan said calmly. “I believe you’ll find it interesting. And it may do something to set your mind at ease.” 

So far it was doing the exact opposite, but Virgil obeyed and slowly began turning the pages. 

It was clearly well-used, the some of the pages bent or wrinkled, but other than that it was still pristine and organized like everything that belonged to Logan. 

Some pages had hand drawn graphs or what looked like data tables, others had written entries in Logan’s writing. Virgil skimmed through them, catching glimpses of his name, and occasionally the other’s, all of the descriptions of events and conversations vaguely familiar. 

He had...absolutely no idea what the hell this was. 

And Logan apparently picked up on that, the logical side suddenly clearing his throat and scooting closer, still far enough away for the couch to not feel crowded. 

“It’s, uhm...well, you see when we had first learned of your past I wanted to ensure that we found the best methods to help you feel...safe. And at home. I suppose I should have told you, I completely understand if you’re--” 

“Wait a second,” Virgil said, the pieces falling together. “This is...you kept notes on me? On...my recovery?” 

It was Logan’s turn to avoid his gaze now, and Virgil’s heart sank when he realized Logan looked nervous. 

“I apologize if it is invasive,” he said quickly. “It wasn’t my intention. It’s a bit of a habit, I suppose. I tend to take extensive notes on things I find...important. And finding the best way to help you was incredibly important to me, Virgil.” 

Virgil felt like crying again, but for an entirely different reason this time. “Lo, that’s...god, that’s so fucking sweet.” 

Logan’s head snapped up, eyes widening when he saw Virgil’s widening smile. “I- you believe so?” 

“Dude, are you kidding? I’ve never...sometimes I just...can’t believe how much you guys care.” 

Logan matched his smile, and carefully, slowly enough that Virgil could pull away, scooted closer to see the open notebook. 

“I’ve been sure to document all of your progress at least once a week, no matter how small. And there has been a lot of it, even if you don’t always think so.” 

“Logan--” 

“But the reason I wanted you to see this today,” he continued, reaching over to turn a few pages. “Is because I occasionally compare your progress to Thomas’s productivity and overall wellbeing.” 

Virgil had absolutely no idea what the graphs and symbols Logan was pointing at meant, but the other side was right there to explain it to him. 

“Your progress, as well as how safe you began to feel around us, directly parallels Thomas's increased mental health. You being safe and healthy makes him better, Virgil. You being happy makes us better.” 

And...yeah, there was absolutely no way for Virgil to stop himself from crying this time. He didn’t really have any intention to stop, anyway. It was a nice change of pace to cry from happiness for once. 

Logan, unfortunately didn’t seem to know the difference. “I am...so sorry, I didn’t mean to--” 

Virgil cut him off by pulling him into a hug, holding on tight and squeezing his eyes shut. Logan relaxed against him, and slowly moved to wrap his arms around Virgil’s back. 

“I was going to offer you space and time to recuperate,” Logan said, and Virgil tightened his grip. “I’m pleased to see you are considerably less afraid of me now.” 

“I’m not afraid of you,” Virgil said quickly, not yet ready to pull away. “I’m not...and I wasn’t, I promise I just...my stupid brain is always--” 

“Your brain is not stupid,” Logan chided, and Virgil dropped his arms when he pulled back. “It’s had to learn to keep you alive under very unfortunate circumstances. It’s a survivor.” 

Virgil snorted, despite the way his chest felt light at the words. “I mean...I guess so.” 

Logan leaned back against the couch, the notebook still open in between them, and he drummed his fingers against his thigh before speaking again. 

“Something I need you to understand,” he said. “Is that in the grand scheme of things, the contents of this notebook don’t matter.” 

“But it’s--” 

“We were correct in assuming that helping you would, in turn, help Thomas. But even if we were wrong, it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t matter if there were benefits, and it wouldn’t matter if keeping you safe negatively affected Thomas. You would never, ever be struck. You would never be beaten or grabbed or screamed at or threatened. No matter the situation. It would never be an option to us.” 

There it was again, like he’d heard so many times before but so, so much more intense tonight. The compassion, the dedication, the emotions Logan denied while feeling so strongly. 

Virgil blinked away a new wave of tears. “I...I don’t ever want to hurt Thomas.” 

“Then it is a good thing this is only hypothetical,” Logan said. “You very clearly do no such thing. I only wanted you to understand that no matter the circumstances, your place with us will never change. You will never have any reason to fear for your safety again.” 

Virgil didn’t know how Logan did it, how the side who claimed to be the most alienated when it came to emotional responses, always seemed to be able to make everything right. 

The jumpiness and awful paranoia had already almost completely faded, leaving behind a soft blanket of soft fatigue. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly, and Logan smiled. 

“Of course. I’ll remind you any time you need. Would you like to be alone, or would you like to stay with me tonight?” 

Virgil smiled, wiping his eyes again. “Can I stay? Please?” 

Logan reached out a hand, his own smile gentle and warm, and Virgil knew they’d both be passed out to some old space documentary like they usually did when Virgil had a bad dream. 

“Of course, Virgil.” 

[fettsvette]

Never Worn White (Part Three)

Cloud City, Bespin. Boba Fett is on the hunt for a casual fuck before he cashes in on Han Solo’s bounty. You’re a naïve virgin, saving yourself for an adolescent fantasy… and it just so happens that he’s in town. Upon encountering the object of your infatuation though, you didn’t expect he’d be so willing to help you out.

Pairing: Boba Fett x Reader Words: 11.7k Rating: Explicit Warnings: Unprotected sex and loss of virginity

Can be found on Archive of Our Own here.

Mando’a terminology

  vaar’ika - little runt

  nehutyc’ika - feisty one

  sarad’ika - little flower

mesh’la - beautiful

    -

  You’d never had so many sets of eyes on you at one time until you had left the Paradise Atrium in the company of Boba Fett. The crowd had swept apart for you as if by the powers of a Jedi Knight of old, with Fett’s hand in yours, leading you out of the lounge and into the cool night air. You had been alarmed about leaving so abruptly at first - a part of you had expected to sit and chat for a while longer, get to know each other, but you supposed that prolonged discussion wasn’t really Boba Fett’s style. Once it was agreed upon that you were to spend the night together, he had simply enveloped your hand in his gloved one, and begun pulling you along towards the doors, much like a parent guiding an unruly child rather than a suitor escorting his barroom hookup.

  You had balked as you approached the exit; you hadn’t settled your tab. Fett had turned and regarded you with a mute stare for a brief moment, then had wordlessly tugged you towards the bar, the Bothan bartender gazing towards you with a look of mingled pity and amusement. You didn’t think he’d really expected your irrational scheme to work out. You’d begun digging through the small bag swinging from your arm with a shaking hand, desperately searching for the credit chip that had disappeared into the recesses of it, all too aware of Boba Fett’s presence at your shoulder, breathing down your neck. He watched you struggle for a moment longer before he jostled you to the side and reached into one of the many pockets lining the flak suit underneath his armor, pulling out a haphazard pile of gold and silver Imperial credits, easily several hundred worth, the largest amount you’d ever seen in one setting. By the way Fett slammed the chips down on the counter, he knew he was vastly overpaying your dues, but you knew he wasn’t just covering your tab - he was also buying the bartender’s silence pertaining to this tryst. The Bothan wordlessly swept the money off the bar and into a cupped paw, being careful to not make too much eye contact. It was more than obvious that this kind of transaction had played out here many times before; it was better to just take the money and continue on with business as usual, no questions asked. You’d attempted to thank Fett as he’d silently led you through the shipyards towards his cruiser, but he didn’t even turn to acknowledge your words, so you dropped it. He hadn’t done it out of a display of romantic chivalry, after all - he’d only been covering his own ass, trying to make a quick getaway with you in tow. You were his prize for the night, his bounty .

  So you found yourself within the confines of the Slave I , a ship the sight or sound of which would send most creatures fleeing in terror for their lives. You sat frozen on a narrow bunk in the pilot’s quarters, unsure whether you were trembling from nerves or from the cold. You hadn’t been on very many space vessels in your lifetime, let alone ones owned by galactic mercenaries, but the sterile spotlessness of the Slave had shocked you upon first entry. Based on the chipped and battle-worn exterior of the transport, you’d expected it to be dingy, the walls bearing the mark of blaster smoke residue, maybe even some old bloodstains, but instead your surroundings gave off the impression of having been scrubbed down meticulously, carefully - and fairly recently. You could tell this wasn’t the work of maintenance droids - this kind of immaculate cleanliness could only be the mark of human hands. You tried to imagine Boba Fett sitting back on his haunches on the hard durasteel floor, a sponge and bucket beside him, diligently scouring the insides of the cages that held the captives he was entrusted with transporting to their dooms. You envisioned the armor of his breastplate glistening in the artificial light, rivulets of soapy water dripping down the front of it, soaking through the thick material of the leather gloves he never took off. You’d been so kriffing wet ever since you’d arrived aboard the Slave I, anticipating what was to come. Boba Fett’s hand had felt so warm in yours as he’d led you up here to his personal quarters, and you shivered at the memory of his large palm on your ass, steadying you as he’d instructed you to climb the ladder behind the cockpit. You’d never been touched in that way before, and you’d momentarily frozen, before a rough push from below had boosted you up through the hatch in the floor. 

  And now here you were, sitting on Boba Fett’s bed, listening to the rhythmic release of the hot water in the adjacent shower. You hadn’t expected a bounty hunter to have such an extravagant luxury as a chemical-based bathing system onboard his craft - although you supposed that he could afford any type of vehicular modifications he wished, with the kind of exorbitant payouts he received for his work. Fett had told you - practically ordered you, in hindsight - to stay put and wait for him to get out of the ‘fresher. Despite the arousal coating your thighs beneath your dress, you couldn’t stop your knees from knocking together. You hadn’t known it was possible to be horny and petrified at the same time, but you were. You truly hadn’t expected to get this far in your fantasy - it had seemed like such a pipedream, a childish adventure you’d anticipated to end in rejection and embarrassment and heartbreak. You hadn’t expected such a man to be a willing participant in your flight of fancy. But instead you were now aboard Fett’s personal transport, waiting for him to finish washing up. Unless something were to go unspeakably wrong in a very short amount of time, you were going to lose your virginity to Boba Fett tonight. The shiver that curled up your spine as you said it to yourself in your head was both one of expectancy and timorousness. 

  “You’re still dressed.”

  The voice was gruff, the unexpectedness of it causing you to gasp and leap to your feet. You whirled towards the source, and felt as if the breath had been forcefully knocked from your lungs as if by a sharp blow.

  In all the time you’d spent researching Fett, siphoning up every piece of information on him that you could find, not many creatures had ever thought to describe what his voice sounded like. You supposed that Fett didn’t talk much, being such a singular man - in all the holovids you had seen of him, never once had he spoken, even when speech had been directed towards him. Just that stony silence answered, maybe a tilt of that mysterious worn-out visor or a quick gesture with a gloved hand, but that was it. The modulated voice that came through the Mandalorian helmet’s vocoder back in the cantina had been harsh, unforgiving, devoid of most emotion save annoyance and the venom that you expected from the galaxy’s most ruthless bounty hunter. There had still been that odd kindness to his tone when he’d seen you were upset, however, a shift that had seemed so out of character based on what you’d seen and read about the man that it had stunned your senses into complete sobriety, stilling your tears. This voice that confronted you now was very much human, but gravelly, made harsh by years of hard living and long periods of solitude. There was an inquisitiveness to it, though, and a youthfulness you hadn’t expected. You couldn’t place the accent, although you’d heard rumors that Fett’s family was from the Mandalore sector of the Outer Rim, some backwater moon called Concord Dawn, but none of the bounty hunter aficionados you’d spoken with seemed to be sure. He did wear Mandalorian armor, after all, but most assumed it had been plundered, not inherited or earned. Of course, nobody had ever asked Boba Fett himself - and lived to tell anyone, anyway.

  The man standing before you was bare-chested, a thin towel wrapped around his waist. He stood in the doorway of the refresher, residual steam still collecting behind him, water beading on the muscular expanse of his pectorals. His shoulders and upper arms and abdomen were covered in tattoos, unfamiliar spiraling patterns as well as glyphs in a language you’d never seen before, and every inch of his body that you could see was riddled with scars - some obvious blaster wounds, others looking like the marks of vibroblades or crude spears, some overlapping others and completely unrecognizable as being from any particular weapon. His skin was like a canvas, a story detailing decades of fierce battles, of wins and losses. You longed to run your hands over each and every scar, hear those stories yourself. Even more so, you yearned to tangle your fingers through the thick black curls atop his head - for some reason you had always expected him to have a shaved scalp, like so many other humanoid mercenaries, and the surprising full head of hair gave Fett a strangely boyish appearance. You pegged his age at anywhere from late twenties to mid-thirties, although it was hard to tell; the scars peppering his body also extended across his facial features, a prominent one in particular slashing a ragged arc through his furrowed brow, making him look older and harder than his years. His hooded eyes were a deep brown, more black in the light, almost the color of the darkness between the stars, and his nose was broad and slightly flattened, then upturned at its tip, which would have given him a haughty air, if it weren’t for the deep scar directly across the bridge. You wondered how he came across these distinctive wounds if he really never did take off his helmet. But it was his mouth you couldn’t tear your eyes away from - the sharp line of his strong jaw left him perpetually unsmiling, but the soft pout of his lips was intoxicating to look upon. You were dying to have those lips on yours, feel them leave a trail of kisses down your neck, across the stretch of your belly towards the wet heat between your legs. Soon .

  This was the infamous Boba Fett, unmasked. A mortal man, after all.

  You stared dumbly at him, your heart hammering in your chest, your limbs trembling where you stood. Your face was impossibly warm, and you could feel the sweat beading on your forehead. This was too much. You were starting to think that maybe you did understand why Fett was never seen without his helmet - creatures the galaxy over would fall before his feet at every turn, more so than they already did. Whole dynasties would crumble for him.

  He was easily the most gorgeous man you’d ever seen in your lifetime. 

  And he was to be yours tonight.

  “What’s the matter with you, girl? Loth-cat got your tongue?” Fett asked as you continued to ogle him like something out of a menagerie, one eyebrow arched questionably, a hint of amusement in his voice as he stalked towards you. You backed up as he did so, your calves hitting the edge of the cot and causing you to fall onto the thin blankets. Your face burned from the display of clumsiness, but Fett acted like he hadn’t noticed. He just continued to stare with those deep dark eyes, the thoughts behind them all but unreadable. 

  “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to stare, it’s just… you’re beautiful. ” You stumbled over the words, and felt slightly ashamed. To describe such a hard man with that word seemed almost wrong, sacrilege. You’d heard of the Diathim, mysterious beings that supposedly dwelled on Iego’s moons; known for their uncanny beauty, creatures called them angels. You didn’t care how odd it might sound to others - you felt that if angels truly were real, one was standing before you right now.

  Your declaration was met with a derisive snort and a roll of the eyes on Fett’s end.

  “I’ve been called many things over the course of the years. Most of them aren’t worth repeating in the company of others. But ‘beautiful’ isn’t one I hear very often, nehutyc’ika .” His voice was even and highly controlled, for someone who was nearly naked in the presence of a stranger, although you knew from your talks with Rystáll Sant among others that this was nowhere near Fett’s first casual fling.

  “What does that word mean? Nehut…? You’ve called me that twice now.” You cocked your head in confusion, trying and failing to think of anything to talk about that would distract your feverish mind from the sight in front of you. Fett’s unwavering eye contact and the way he seemed to be drinking you up was starting to make you nervous. Everything was happening so fast .

  “ Nehutyc’ika. It’s Mando’a, the language of my father’s people. It means you’re a feisty one.” He answered matter-of-factly, taking several steps towards you. You sat frozen, looking up at him mutely. You were vaguely aware of how badly your hands were shaking and quickly placed them underneath your thighs to hide them from Fett’s watchful gaze, although you feared it was too late. You were dumbfounded. You still couldn’t believe you were actually here , that the man of your dreams was standing shirtless in front of you - clad in nothing but a towel - and had brought up his family , and was now calling you ‘feisty.’ Was Boba Fett actually flirting with you?

  He took another step forward and dropped the towel.

  Oh.  

  You supposed he was doing more than just flirting now.

  Blinding heat instantly pooled in your cunt, and you gasped from deep in your chest. You couldn’t help it. You hadn’t been expecting this level of boldness - ‘more like sluttiness,’ the whimsical voice in the back of your head chided before you shoved it back down into the recesses of your mind - from Boba Fett. Trembling, you unconsciously scooted away from him on the bunk, your eyes glued to his waist.

  He was huge .

  Not that you had any personal experience to work with, but you’d watched enough holoporn on the ‘Net to know that Boba Fett was packing . He was eight inches at least, thick and veiny, already half-hard. Kark , even his balls were perfect - tight and plump, sitting there nestled in a patch of dark, wiry hair. He gauged your clearly shocked reaction smugly, looking you up and down with a barely perceptible smirk ghosting his features. He was amused by your wide eyes, the hang of your jaw, your tensed limbs.

  “ Hmm . You really are a virgin, aren’t you?” There was laughter in his voice, and - oh, stars - blatant arousal. His cock had twitched as he’d said ‘virgin,’ and your pussy throbbed in reply. Part of you wanted to grab him by the wrists and pull him down on top of you, beg him to satisfy the growing ache between your legs as soon as possible, but instead you could only let out a torrent of stutters.

  “W-...w-why would I lie to you about that? That’s the reason I’m here, i-isn’t it? I w-wanted you to be my first…” You answered faintly. Your tongue felt heavy, your throat tight. It felt as if every molecule of heat in your body was collecting in your cunt, and you hoped the growing damp patch in your panties wouldn’t soak through your dress, let alone into the cot.

  “It wouldn't be the first time a beautiful woman has tried to lie her way into my bed.” His lascivious grin grew broader, and it struck you then just how white and straight his teeth were. You felt dizzy, and your eyelids fluttered. Taking a shuddering breath, you closed your eyes in an attempt to ground yourself. ‘This is what you wanted. You’ve come so far. Don’t let your nerves turn you back now.’ 

  “Not going to get shy on me now, are you, girly?” You opened your eyes when you felt a warm, calloused hand come down on your shoulder, and you had to stifle a surprised yelp. Boba Fett was standing directly over you, looking down on you as if he were a god watching his flock from above. His stiffening cock was level with your nose, and your mouth watered. It was so close that you felt as if you would go cross-eyed if you continued to look at it. You wondered if he expected you to take him in your hand, stroke him, pleasure him with your tongue, but Fett shoved you back by your shoulders, and you landed unceremoniously back on the pillow, shifting your eyes downwards to the foot of the bed. Fett now balanced there, one knee resting on the edge of the cot, exposing himself unabashedly to you. He observed you broodily, his lips slightly pursed, and you wondered if he was expecting you to try and make a run for it, and what he would do if you did. You had the mental image of a completely nude Boba Fett chasing you down the boarding ramp of the Slave I, blaster in hand, penis flopping as he ran, and a hysterical giggle rose to your lips, which Fett silenced with a stern shush.

  “Go on, girl, lay down. Let me help you feel good...” The bounty hunter purred, climbing on the bed to fully kneel before you, reaching out and placing his large hands on either side of your hips, rucking the shimmersilk dress up to rest above your belly button. You breathed heavily through your nose, in and out, hyper-aware of the feeling of Fett’s rough palms on your skin, the warmth radiating through him coming across more like fire licking up your pelvis to your ribcage. You wondered if he could tell just how badly you were shaking under his hands, if he could feel how hot you were for him already; if he did notice, he kept it to himself - he seemed solely focused on that spot between your legs, the junction of your sex that felt almost numb with how turned on you were. It didn’t even register to you at first that you were almost naked in front of a man for the very first time, that maybe you should be embarrassed - stars, he didn’t even know your name, hadn’t even expressed a passing interest in learning it - until you heard the low, animal growl emanating from Fett’s throat, and saw just how greedily he was admiring your soaked panties.

  “Already wet, are you? Good. That’ll make it easier on you.”

  You groaned at his words and covered your face with sweating, trembling hands, your core tensing as you felt your underwear being pulled down around your knees, then your ankles, and finally being harshly yanked off entirely. An arm nudged your knees even further apart, and you gasped, the ship’s cool air bathing your spread pussy lips, the wetness gathered there making it feel even colder. There was a brief pause, and a hand encircled your wrist, pulling your hands away from your eyes. You blinked to see Fett looming over you, the ghost of a smile upon his lips, and he settled to lie between your legs as he made sure you were making direct eye contact with him. You could feel his hot breath on your core, and your head swam. You had Boba Fett between your legs, about to pleasure you with his mouth. It was like something out of your most secret fantasies, but this was real .

  “Keep your hands away from your face, vaar’ika . I want you to watch me taste you. I don’t get to eat unspoiled fruit very often, you know.”

  He buried his face between your legs without another word.

  Oh, stars above.

  You’d never felt anything like this before, and struggled to keep from fainting back against the pillow. His tongue was hot against your cunt, licking warm stripes up and down, lapping up the juices that had collected between your folds as if it were the most delicious nectar he’d ever tasted. Fett hummed against you and the vibrations traveled up your spine like a shock, and you twisted your fists in the blankets, biting your lip to keep from crying out already. His lips latched onto your swollen clit at last and he suckled on the engorged bud hungrily, and you finally allowed yourself to moan. Fett gave a deep rumble in return that you didn’t immediately recognize as laughter due to the fact that his face was nestled against your sex. He was laughing at your reactions to his ministrations, and your face and chest only flushed hotter. Fett’s arms came up for a moment to loop around your thighs, dragging you downwards and causing you to emit a strangled whine, before he settled your legs over his broad shoulders. The change of position - you were practically sitting on his face now - prompted another rush of arousal to flood your needy cunt. Boba Fett groaned appreciatively as his tongue probed inside of you, its tip curled, licking at the opening of your sex. You gasped deeply and arched your back, and Fett grumbled, holding you down as you began to squirm underneath him, digging your heels into his shoulder blades. He turned his mouth back to your clitoris, flickering his tongue methodically back and forth, up and down, swirling circles around the sensitive bud until you began to pant and whimper in earnest. You were so wet that you could hear him eating you out, obscene slurping sounds interspaced with pleased grunts, his nose pressed into your vulva, his hips grinding into the corner of the cot beneath him in an effort to bring himself some pleasure.

  All it took to send you over the edge was an unexpected nip of his teeth to the hood of your clit, and your vision went white. You let out a choked sob, your hips bucking off the cot and your fingers threading through Fett’s tight curls, holding him in place as you rode out your orgasm on his face.

  You weren’t sure how long it lasted, but the waves of your climax finally began to ebb, and you released your hold on Fett’s hair, quivering helplessly in the aftershocks of your first-ever assisted orgasm. Fett released his iron grip on your thighs and raised his head to look at you, and you couldn’t help but let out an overwhelmed squeak at what you saw.

  His chin and mouth were glistening with your arousal, shiny in the light, and your breath stuttered as you watched him slowly lick his lips, his tongue circling to gather every last bit of your cum that had coated his features. It was one of the hottest things you had ever seen in your life - the Boba Fett now sitting cross-legged on the bed in front of you, wiping the rest of your cum from his mouth with the back of one hand and absent-mindedly stroking his cock with the other, observing you with an almost bored expression. His cheeks were ruddy with arousal, the rosy head of his length weeping pre-cum, his dark pupils blown. But despite everything he had just put you through with his mouth alone, he wasn’t even breathing heavily, hadn’t broken a sweat. He looked zen, if anything.

  “...Can I kiss you? Please?” You asked breathlessly, your chest still heaving, leaning back on your elbows on the cot in front of him. The question took him by surprise at first, his eyebrows raising, the scars sprinkled across his features distorting with the movement. And then he laughed , a genuine laugh, oddly musical and light coming from such an imposing figure, so much so that you could help but grin in response, your cheeks hurting from just how hard you were smiling at this show of vulnerability on his part. Fett leaned forward and grabbed you by your biceps and hoisted you into his arms, bringing you to sit straddling one muscular thigh, his skin hot and firm under your pussy, and you felt yourself becoming aroused all over again at the press of his bare flesh against your center. Fett tapped your shoulder and gestured with a curt jerk of his head for you to lift your arms, and he yanked your dress above your head in one smooth movement, tossing it out of sight. You didn’t care if it got ruined, that it had cost you nearly a third of your weekly pay - all you cared about anymore was Boba Fett.

  “I just made you cum and you’re asking if you can kiss me? You’re a strange one, girl. Don’t tell me you’ve never kissed a man before either.” Fett teased, cupping your chin in one hand, his face so close to yours that your foreheads were nearly touching.

  He didn’t give you a chance to answer before he captured your mouth with his.

  You could taste yourself on him, a musky, earthy tone, and you moaned as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, playfully darting at your own and biting at your lower lip. You had never understood when your friends had claimed to have seen fireworks when being kissed, but you could wholeheartedly say that you did now. It felt like the celebrations on Empire Day in the pit of your belly, full of bright sparks and incredible explosions of color.

  Fett hefted one breast in his hand, absently flicking the nipple back and forth with his thumb and kneading the tender flesh as he lazily kissed you, mostly letting you take the reins in your experimentation. You kissed him deeply, your nose digging into his cheek as you turned your head for a different angle against his mouth. You could have kissed Boba Fett forever, your arms around his neck, your chest flush with his, your nude body pliant in his lap, his cock pressed against your thigh. You eventually came up for air, breathing hard, dropping your hands to rest your palms on his brawny chest, searching his face for any sign of what the bounty hunter might be thinking. He simply stared back at you, any and all contemplations he may have had hidden behind a deathly still visage. You thought Fett must be an incredibly adept sabacc player, with that kind of self-control over his expressions.

  “So, this is where you fuck me now, right?” You breathed, and Fett narrowed his eyes, scoffing as if you’d just asked him if Ewoks could speak Basic. He placed his hands on your hips, gripping the flesh there so roughly that you involuntarily let out a hiss of discomfort.

  “Oh no… you’re not nearly ready to take me, not yet. You’re still too tight. Do you want to enjoy this or not?” You’d thought you were getting somewhere; you’d thought that maybe you were actually beginning to see a softer side of Boba Fett, but the annoyance in his voice was palpable. Your face burned with shame. You knew he thought you were an idiot, blinded by lust, eager to use him as your personal fucktoy so you could tell your friends that you had lost your virginity to Boba Fett, and now he was angry with you. You were brought out of your thoughts by a slap to the meat of your ass, just sharp enough to make you yelp and refocus on Fett with widened eyes.

  “ Answer me .”

  You gulped and nodded your head rapidly in response, stammering despite your attempt to remain calm. “Y-yes… I want to enjoy this…”

  Fett reached further around and patted your ass as if praising a beloved pet. “ Very good. Don’t question me again, and don’t go thinking you’re the one in control here. You’re only here because I took pity on you. I could just as quickly throw you off my ship, naked as the day you were born. Don’t think I haven’t done it before. Would you like that, princess , or do you want to continue with our little game?”

  Fett reached between your bodies and pinched at your clit with his thumb and index finger, and you let out a little shriek of surprise, gripping his muscular shoulders. Despite his threats, the broody edge to his voice, his almost violent touches, you didn’t think you’d ever been so turned on in your life. The dangers that seemed to be around every corner concerning this encounter were exciting rather than frightening - even the image of having to make your way home in the nude, a walk of shame after having been cast out from Boba Fett’s company, felt like more of a thrill than anything else. You didn’t even care that he called you ‘princess’ in a clearly derogatory way; as he’d said himself, this was a game, and judging from the pre-cum dribbled down the side of his cock, he was just as willing to play as you were. 

  You raised your eyes to his, drawing your gaze away from his hand, where it was resting on your pubic mound, his thumb just barely grazing your clit. There was an almost mischievous glitter in Fett’s eyes as he waited for your reply, and the slightest pressure he was applying was killing you. In lieu of words, you simply grasped his wrist with a shaky hand and pressed his palm harder into your pussy. Fett let out a deep chuckle in response, and began rubbing your clit tortuously. Humming contentedly, you bucked your hips sloppily, attempting to work up a rhythm in time with Fett’s hand. Your pussy dragged back and forth along the hard expanse of his thigh, your arousal smearing over his skin, making for slicker traction with every push of your waist. Fett looped one strong arm around your middle, holding you steady as you rocked yourself on his leg. He continued to jerk your clit at a frantic pace, his entire hand settled over your dripping cunt, occasionally running his thumb up and down your slit to gather the juices there and spread them along your swollen bud before resuming his direct assault.

  “You love riding my thigh like this, don’t you? Is this what you think about when you’re alone in bed at night, girly, with your pillow between your legs? Rutting your hot little cunt against me like a felinx in heat?” Fett goaded, and you let out a quiet moan in response, tipping your head back and squeezing your eyes closed, focusing on the sensations building in your quim. He knew. You didn’t know how, but it was like he was aware of every single dirty fantasy you’d ever had about him. All you had told him is that you wanted to give yourself to him - nothing more, nothing less. Had he been contemplating what sparked your nocturnal emissions while he was showering earlier in the night? It was true, you thought of bringing yourself to climax this way often - daydreaming scenarios in which you were some faraway planet’s heroine, kidnapped for ransom by a ruthless Mandalorian bounty hunter, forced to grind against him like an animal for his pleasure, a blaster to your temple - but no reverie could ever compare to this.

  The sweet, cresting wave of another orgasm had been building within you for quite some time, both at the urging of Fett’s deft fingers as well as the movements of your own undulating hips against his thigh, when he suddenly took his hand away and stilled your movements with a painful squeeze of your hip, and you cried out pathetically. You’d been so close . Fett clucked his tongue at your begging, and his hand slowly went back to its place between your legs, his fingers crawling further down than before, and you automatically tensed. 

  “I’m going to fuck you with my fingers now, vaar’ika . If you really want to take my cock, I need to open you up more.” Fett warned, circling his thumb over your clit and poking at your entrance with his index and middle fingers. Your breath hitched at the probing, the muscles of your groin bracing for yet another sensation you had never experienced, but you nodded desperately. You were ready for this.

  Fett dragged the digits up and down your slit, back and forth, collecting your wetness, and then dipped them into you slowly, gently. You emitted a whooping gasp at the intrusion, bucking your hips against his fingers as they slipped deeper into your cunt. Fett’s fingers were blunt and thick, and you already felt stretched out deep inside - you wouldn’t call the feeling painful, but your inner muscles fluttered wildly, pushing back against this unknown invasion, and you had to concentrate on keeping your breathing even in an effort to get yourself to relax. Fett stilled his movements as he sensed your muscles contracting uncomfortably around him, and waited for your breathless nod of consent for him to resume. He began gingerly pumping in and out of you, listening for little moans and whimpers on your part to know it was alright to move faster. As his pace increased, he continued rubbing your clit with his thumb, and the unfamiliar pressure of his fingers inside you quickly gave over to a pleasurable massaging sensation that had you groaning aloud. You began to experimentally wriggle your hips against his motions, seeing what felt good, and dug your nails into Fett’s arms as the shifting of your weight back and forth helped guide his probing fingers to a spot deep inside you, one you’d never been able to reach by your own hands. Fett sensed the change in your movements against him, the stutter of your hips against his digits, the sudden gush of wetness dripping onto his palm, and knew he’d found what he was looking for. He curled his fingers up towards himself inside you, pushing in hard against the soft, spongy patch and pulled your cunt back and forth rapidly, reveling in the way you cried out and clutched at him. The sweet pressure within your groin was building rapidly, becoming more intense than anything you’d felt in the past. 

  “I… I think I’m going to…” You stammered weakly, your words punctuated with little whines and squeals of pleasure. You attempted to continue your warning with the words ‘to cum ,’ but you could only let out a loud moan instead, letting the bounty hunter jerk your pussy whichever way he wished. Your face burned, your ears zoning in on the loud squelching noises coming from your cunt as his fingers worked faster and faster, his arm pumping rapidly with the exertion. 

  Fett answered you with a teasing snarl, completely unbothered by your pleading. “ Oh? What’s that? You’re going to cum on my fingers, hmm? If this is enough to make you fall to pieces, just wait until I’ve got my cock in you, girl…”

  That did it. His words, and the insistent, constant press of his fingers against that unbearably sensitive spot deep inside of you, sent you crashing over the edge. You let out a strangled scream, burying your face in the crook of Fett’s neck, scrabbling at his back with your nails as your orgasm devastatingly washed over you. Fett swore loudly as you let yourself go on his fingers, although he showed no signs of slowing, and your face burned with the realization of what was happening. You could feel the buildup of pressure gradually releasing from your cunt, could feel yourself gushing onto his hand and thigh and onto the cot beneath, but in that moment you were beyond caring - every nerve-ending in your body was in ecstasy. 

  It felt like hours had gone by before you finally felt him remove his fingers from within you with a soft wet noise, followed by another dribble of fluid from your core, and let out a choked sob at the sudden emptiness. Boba shifted to rise from the cot and you clumsily slipped off his lap and back onto the blankets, cringing uncomfortably at the wetness beneath you. It was once you were seated and had regained control of your breathing and heart rate that you were aware of just how drenched everything was. The cot was soaked, your ass settled in the center of a large damp patch, the inside of your thighs coated with your own juices. You turned to look at Fett, and your jaw dropped when you saw just how much of your slick was glazing his stomach, his thighs, the arm he had coaxed your orgasm from you with. And he was grinning .

  “You squirted all over me, girl.” To your disbelief, Fett sounded impressed, and the self-congratulatory smirk on his face reflected it. He was curiously inspecting his dripping fingers, rubbing them together, then stuck them in his mouth like a child with a sucker, his eyes boring into you darkly. He pulled the digits free with a noisy pop after a long moment and looked down at his hand, a whispered “ So sweet …” emanating from his lips. You didn’t know whether he’d intended for you to hear him, but the object of your affection speaking in that way, about you - about your arousal - had you feeling weak. You’d never squirted before in your life, and Boba Fett had drawn it out of you within mere minutes. You wanted to repay him for the pleasure he’d given you - twice over, now.

  “I… I want you in my mouth, Boba.”

  He gave a start at your use of his name - it was the first time during this encounter that you had said it aloud, and you didn’t think he’d been expecting you to at all. His cock twitched openly and a bead of pre-cum leaked from the slit at his head, dribbling onto the blanket to join your own mess, and when he spoke, his voice was even rougher, lower, full of flagrant excitement. You expected him to forcefully grab you by your hair and shove your mouth onto him, fuck your skull with wanton abandon, but instead Fett regarded you silently, stroking himself with languid pumps, swirling his thumb across the tip of his cock to spread his arousal down his shaft.

  “I’ll have to teach you. How to suck a man’s cock. Do you want that? Do you really want to suck my cock ?” He rose from the edge of the cot, standing before you as you crawled on your hands and knees towards him. You nodded fervently, not in the least ashamed that you were literally begging for this man’s cock; you no longer cared, you just wanted your lips around him. You’d never given a blowjob before, but you wanted to taste him like he had tasted you. Fett watched you and held himself out straight, one fist gripping the base of his thick member, as you sat yourself before him.

  “Open,” Fett ordered brusquely, and you obediently followed his command, even sticking your tongue out for good measure. This seemed to amuse the bounty hunter, and he smirked, a low rumble of laughter emanating from deep within his broad chest. He jerked himself a few more times as he stood over you, then took another step and laid his heavy cock directly on your tongue. You were surprised at the taste of him - you weren’t sure what exactly you had been expecting, but he tasted of soap, and clean skin, and some sort of minty cologne you’d assumed he’d applied in the ‘fresher, with a hint of salt that intrigued you. It was a distinctly Boba taste, although you didn’t think you’d ever be able to explain what you meant to another living being. As you experimentally wrapped your lips around his girth, careful not to scrape the sensitive skin with your teeth, Fett let out a soft groan, and you felt him reach out to pat your hair. “Yes, that it’s… good girl. ”

  You paused like that for a long moment, focusing on the heat of him in your mouth to distract from the fact that your jaw was already tiring a bit, then dipped your head to take more of him into your mouth, hesitantly suckling on his glans and attempting take him further down your throat before reflexively retching and pulling back. Your face burned with embarrassment as you wiped spittle from the corner of your mouth, and you looked back up at Fett hesitantly, expecting to be reprimanded for this novice’s folly. Instead, he was smirking, and you got the strong sense that he was impressed that he’d made you gag so soon.

  “Go slow, girl. No need to choke yourself. ...Or is my cock too much for that pretty mouth of yours to handle? Here, I’ll show you...” Fett cooed smugly, and he reached out to take your wrist in his large hand, helping you wrap your fingers around his cock. He was throbbing under your touch, and you felt your cunt heating up all over again at the sensation, fresh wetness gathering between your thighs. Fett tapped the underside of your chin once your hand was secured around him, and you opened your mouth, taking him on your tongue of your own accord. He was so heavy, you couldn’t help but let out a groan at the weight of him, and Fett let out a hiss at the feeling your vibrations made against his length. He put one hand on the back of your head, pushing you forward at an excruciatingly slow pace, allowing you to gradually become accustomed to his presence in your mouth without further triggering your gag reflex.

  “No teeth , girly… careful, careful… now suck . Gentle . Use your tongue to massage my cock… there you go, that’s it…” Fett coached as you gingerly swirled your tongue around his head, making sure to pay extra attention to the prominent vein running along the underside of him - maybe you’d never actually done this before, but you liked to think you had an idea of what to do based on all the dirty holovids  you watched. You just couldn’t believe you were actually trying all of this out on Boba Fett himself. He was too girthy for you to swallow him to the hilt, so you shyly brought one hand up to rest shakily on his thick thigh, the skin still damp from your juices, and knead the flesh there, and a jolt went through your pussy as Fett emitted a purr at your ministrations. You reached your other hand out to cup his balls, heavy and hard in your hand, and the bounty hunter’s cock twitched violently in your mouth as you massaged them, almost making you gag again. He groaned under his breath every time you squeezed and rolled his sac, and you relished the feeling of his length spasming against your tongue, the salty sweet taste of his pre-cum filling your mouth. Stars, he was delicious. You wished you could see yourself, on your knees, sucking Boba Fett’s cock, and reprimanded yourself for not having the foresight to bring your holocam, strategically place it somewhere in the room to record tonight’s tryst so you could watch it over and over again. 

  You were just building up a rhythm - digging your nails into Fett’s thigh, occasionally tugging at his balls, and slurping greedily on his cock, when he ended it. With a growled moan, Fett grabbed you by your hair and pulled you off of him, his short nails scratching at your scalp in a way that sent shivers up your spine. He left with your mouth with an audible pop , a string of drool leading from your lips to his glistening glans, which only broke when you placed a chaste kiss to it, grinning up at him. You felt drunk on his cock, if it were possible to be so - he hadn’t even been inside you yet, but you already found yourself yearning for his presence in your life, for this to be more than just a one night stand, a fantasy come to life. You didn’t think you’d ever not be able to envision the gorgeous creature standing in front of you the next time you saw the faceless entity who prowled after bounties featured on the nighttime HoloNews.

  “But I wanted to make you cum …” You pouted as Fett wordlessly pushed you onto your back on the bed, walking forward on his knees until he was nestled between your spread legs. He pressed his arms into the cot on either side of your head, holding himself up above you, his face hovering above yours. You could feel his hot breath on your skin and wanted to place your hand on the back of his neck, draw his mouth to yours, but you found yourself frozen in place, staring up at him wide-eyed, your hands clasped to your breasts.

  “No, vaar’ika. Not yet. I want to cum with that tight little virgin pussy of yours squeezing me.” Fett crooned sweetly, and you whined loudly at his words, bucking your hips up, trying in vain for your sopping core to make contact with his dangling cock, but he pulled away, rising to sit back between your knees, his member rosy and standing at attention, a clear drop of pre-cum beading at its tip. You laid beneath him, spread out and open, and Fett pushed your thighs apart even further, positioning himself at your entrance. He began rubbing your clit with the pad of his thumb, pressing in slow circles, and you mewled appreciatively.

  “I’m not going to lie to you. This will hurt.” Fett warned, leaning forward slightly and skimming the head of his cock up and down your slit. With every swipe, his heavy glans would catch on your swollen clit, and you had to stop yourself from grabbing him in your hand, keeping him positioned there so you could get off from the friction alone. You were so wet that you could hear the slick sound of his hardness passing through your folds, and that alone eradicated any doubt in your mind that this was what you wanted. You needed him inside of you more than anything else. It was time. There was no turning back. You didn’t care if it would be painful. Not anymore.

  “Boba, please . I’m ready for this. I’ve always been ready. I want this… I want you .” You urged him, and he nodded curtly in acknowledgement. It was then that the realization hit you - in your rush to leave your flat earlier in the night, you’d forgotten perhaps one of the most important things. Your roommate always stored contraception in your shared ‘fresher, which you’d completely bypassed in your mad rush to get to the Paradise Atrium and find Boba Fett. Now you were here, about to do the deed with the man himself, without any sort of protection, and you’d only remembered at the last possible moment. 

  “ Wait . I’m… I’m not on anything. Do you… ?” You began, and cringed to yourself, fully expecting Fett to rise and demand you to get out of his sight for your stupidity, cast you out into the night like he threatened to do earlier. Instead, you were met with a huff and a shake of his curly head, and he patted your inner thigh. Again, he looked smug, almost proud of himself.

  “I have an implant, girl. If I didn’t, I’d have bastards the galaxy over. You came all this way with nothing of your own? Hmm. Interesting . Now just relax… ” Boba replied, and you nodded, feeling faint. Of course he had an implant, why hadn’t you considered that? You supposed you ought to look into getting one too, but your thought was interrupted by something hard and hot and blunt poking at your folds, and you cast your eyes downward to watch as Fett spread your lips with the fingers of one hand, using his other to line up his cock with your hole.

  He entered you slowly, with a gentle nudge, just the tip breaching your entrance, and you involuntarily cried out despite yourself. He was so big already. The stretch was unlike anything you’d felt, it was as if your opening was going to tear, and you silently reprimanded yourself for thinking his karking fingers alone had been too thick for you. Your hips canted upwards to try and escape the discomfort, and Fett laid a massive, warm hand flat against your belly, ceasing his movements as well as your own squirming, shushing you.

  “Easy, little one, easy . I’ve only just started to enter you. This is nothing . Are you absolutely sure you can handle the rest of me? You’re allowed to change your mind if you don’t want this after all. I can still turn you loose…” Fett offered, rubbing his thumb back and forth over the skin of your tummy in a way that was shockingly comforting, coming from such a harsh character. The weight of his hand on your stomach was oddly grounding, and you closed your eyes, taking several deep breaths through your nose, and nodded for him to continue. 

  He slid into you further and it was like a rod of flame had been inserted up your cunt. You yelped, biting back a proper scream as you involuntarily hunched away from the invading presence. Fett held your hips down, preventing you from squirming away further, and immediately stopped his movements once more. He wasn’t even fully sheathed within you yet, but the pain was unbelievable. You didn’t imagine that it could hurt this much, especially with how wet you were. He was just so huge , you couldn’t fathom how the rest of him would fit inside of you. There were already tears of frustration filling your eyes at having to stop him again so soon, and you gazed upwards at the bounty hunter, who was looking down at you with a completely unreadable expression. Your hands were gripping his forearms and you could feel just how taut the muscles there were, how much self-control it was taking him to keep from pounding into you like a wild beast despite your discomfort, and you admired him for that. You wanted him deep inside you, you wanted him to finish the job, fully claim you at last - you wished he would just push forward with one savage thrust and break you open already.

  “If you keep crying out like this and trying to move away from me, vaar’ika , we’ll be stuck here all night.” Fett said simply, looking down between your bodies at where you were partially joined. You followed his gaze as well, your eyes growing wider as you took notice of his hard length sitting between your legs, halfway vanished into your quivering pussy. You felt sweat gathering on your brow, underneath your breasts, and the sight brought a fresh wave of arousal flooding through your cunt. Fett obviously felt it, as he let out a soft groan and you felt the tip of his member twitch within you, and a delicious shiver of pleasure went up your spine. That sensation alone made you want to wiggle forward yourself, despite the pain, and impale yourself on him fully. You squeezed Fett’s arms and he raised his head to look into your eyes, his gaze boring into yours. The arousal in his eyes was intoxicating.

  “Boba, I… I want you to move. Just do it, even if I scream or cry or try to get away. I give you my full permission. If… if I need you to stop, really stop, I’ll tap your shoulder three times. Is… is that okay?” You asked nervously, already feeling yourself begin to shake from the anticipation of what was coming. You wanted this more than anything , and now it was actually happening. You couldn’t have imagined you would actually be here even a few mere hours ago, underneath Boba Fett in the pilot’s quarters of the Slave I , about to lose your virginity to him. You expected to wake up in your own bed any moment, the night’s events having been just an incredibly vivid dream. Boba Fett didn’t answer your request with words. His eyes shifted to the side, almost imperceptibly, as he considered your proposition, and then, silently, he brought one hand up to rest on your flushed cheek. You took a shaky inhale as he gently craned his neck to place a kiss on your sweaty forehead, then dipped lower to capture your mouth in his.

  In one smooth, hard motion, Boba Fett snapped his hips upward, forward, and claimed you for his own.

  Your eyes flew open and you let out a muffled scream against his mouth, your feet kicking out briefly, your hips jerking, your fingers digging into his shoulder blades. It felt as if you’d been torn open from the inside, like a blade had been thrust up into you, and the stretch was immense. You couldn’t fathom how the whole of him had fit. Your vaginal canal burned terribly, and you couldn’t help but let out several loud sobs at the overwhelming sensation of being filled so deeply. Fett broke his kiss and stared down at you, still buried to the hilt inside of you, unmoving.

  “ Easy there, little one . Look at me. I’m inside of you, see? You’re no longer a virgin, at last. How do you feel? Do you want me to stop?” Fett hummed softly, brushing away the tears that streamed down your face with the pad of his thumb, his hips flush with yours. You could feel the dark patch of pubic hair at his groin against your vulva, and the sensation was somehow soothing. Your cunt involuntarily clenched around his member, gradually becoming used to the feeling of him as time dragged on, and you were surprised that you could feel his hardness, the ridges of his glans pressed into your inner walls, the veins on his cock against you. The pain was receding, little by little, as Fett remained motionless and let you get used to his presence. It occurred to you that he was waiting for you to give him permission to move, and your walls fluttered.

  “No, no, please don’t pull out. Oh, kriff … it hurts , but it’s getting better. You’re so big . I feel so full. But… I just can’t believe…” You gasped, struggling for words. You swore you could feel Boba Fett in your guts, were shocked that you couldn’t see a bulge in your lower belly where his cock was nestled inside of you, that’s how big he felt. Fett let out an amused chuckle, cutting off your words by pressing a blunt finger to your lips.

  “Well, you’d better start believing it… you’ve got a bounty hunter inside of you. Tell me when I can move, mesh’la . I’m getting restless.” Fett replied, and it was then that you noticed the sweat beading his forehead as well, the way his speech was coming in harsh pants, how his arms were shaking with need above you. He needed to move . You could feel your swollen cunt becoming hotter and hotter, your natural lubrication helping to ease the pinching burn that had settled deep within you, and you found you wanted him to move too. Your tears had dried for the most part, although you had a feeling he’d have you weeping again soon enough. You shakily moved your hands up to cup Fett’s sharp cheekbones, his eyes locking onto yours with the movement. The words that next left your lips, barely above a whisper, were ones that you never imagined you would find yourself saying to this man, but they resulted in an amorous growl that sent a thrill through your bloodstream and straight to your pussy.

  “Fuck me, Boba.”

  His first few thrusts shook your entire body, and you let out a grunting squeal for each one, your breasts jiggling from the force of them, although Fett still moved slowly. It wasn’t until you wrapped your legs around his calves, pulling him in closer, and settled your palms on the tense cheeks of his ass, urging him to pump into you harder, faster, that he began to really fuck you. With every thrust, your pain turned more and more into pleasure, a white-hot ball tightening within your belly until it felt as if liquid fire was seeping through every inch of your body. If this was what being fucked was like, you never wanted it to end.

  “ Stars , princess… you’re so kriffing tight . The tightest little pussy I’ve ever fucked… you’re going to make me cum soon…” Fett groaned, and you let out a keening wail in response, focused only on the feeling of his cock massaging your walls, his glans bumping that same spongy spot inside you that his fingers had seemed to find immediately, the obscene slap of his thighs colliding with yours again and again and again. You could hear your own juices sloshing against his cock’s pounding, a squelching that only became louder and wetter as your movements continued. 

  Neither one of you lasted very long. Combined with Boba’s slow, deep strokes into your pussy, and his fingers dancing over your clit, helping you along towards yet another climax, you found yourself hoarsely shouting his name over and over again, your nails raking red slashes down his back in pure ecstasy. Fett lifted up your hips into his hands, arching your bottom off the cot, his angle becoming impossibly deeper, and you shrieked aloud. You wondered if the durasteel walls of the Slave I were soundproof, but found that you didn’t care. You didn’t care whether the entirety of Cloud City heard Boba Fett fucking you - you wanted them to. This was happening , you had manifested this for yourself through nothing but determination, and if the whole colony heard you being claimed by the galaxy’s most feared bounty hunter, so be it.

  “Cum for me, girl. That’s it, let go… cum all over my cock, like you’ve always wanted to…” Fett urged you, his own voice shaking as he frantically worked your clit with his fingers, his thrusts becoming manic and sloppy. You could tell he was getting close - you could feel his cock twitching violently inside of you, preparing to shoot his load up into you. Your own orgasm hit you unexpectedly, just one expertly angled stroke from Fett’s length, a circular grind of his hips, and your vision instantly blacked out. You felt as if a thermal detonator had gone off in your pussy, and all sound seemed to go out of the room. Your mouth was gaping open, you knew you were screaming at the top of your lungs, but all you could hear was a high-pitched static noise, you were so far gone. You didn’t even hear Fett’s answering groan as he spilled his seed inside of you moments later, the clamping of your walls around his cock proving to be too much for him to withstand. The feeling of him emptying his balls within you was unlike anything you had ever felt before, and only served to bring your peak to a new height. You could feel him pulsating, your cunt milking him for all that it was worth, his hot spunk filling you up, marking you where no one else ever had before.

  The next thing you remembered was lying in Boba Fett’s arms, weeping openly into the crook of his neck. You weren’t sure if you had momentarily passed out from the pleasure, but you had no memory of him flipping you over so that you were lying atop him, draped across his broad chest, his cock still sheathed within you, a strong but pleasant ache settled deep between your thighs - a lingering effect of your lost virginity. Fett, despite all of his cultivated roughness, let you cry it out, one arm thrown lazily across your waist, his free hand cupping the back of your head. His fingers scratched at your scalp, and you could have sworn you heard him murmuring softly in a guttural tongue, possibly that Mando’a he occasionally spoke in - the idea that he may’ve been trying to comfort you in his own awkward way only made you cry harder. Your sobs finally ebbed away into sniffles and quiet hiccups after a short while, and Fett slowly rolled you off of him, his cock leaving you with a wet squelch that gave your oversensitive clit a jolt and left you feeling sore and empty. You laid on the bed and watched Boba Fett’s cum ooze out from between your legs and onto the blankets, stained pink from your breaking in, and you flushed as he rose and stood at the foot of the cot, cleaning both your arousals from his softening cock with a cloth he’d retrieved from a compartment hidden in the wall. You wished you could have kept his cum inside of you forever, in a way, although you supposed the bruises his mouth and fingers had left on your skin would serve as reminders as well. You still couldn’t believe the night events had really happened, after so long.

  “Are you alright, girl? You came quite hard. I thought you were going to break my cock right off, the way you were clenching me. How do you feel, now that you’ve been properly fucked?” His tone was one of gentle teasing, and he glanced back over his shoulder at you, a smirk upon his pouty lips. 

  “That… that was incredible. I’m sorry, it’s just… I can’t believe I just got fucked by Boba Fett .” You replied, and hid your face in your hands, embarrassed as soon as the words had tumbled from your mouth. Fett, good-natured and relaxed after a satisfying fuck, snorted and shook his head. He sauntered past the cot on his way to the ‘fresher and patted your thigh as if to assure you that ‘ Yes, you sweet little fool, all of your wildest dreams have come true.’ He didn’t think he’d ever understand these beings who sought him out as part of their bizarre fantasies, but he didn’t care - it got him laid, and sometimes the temporary company was even enjoyable. This hopeless romantic of a virgin - well, former virgin - had been one of the better ones. As he took one last glance at you before the door slid shut, as you nodded off in his bed, Fett found himself feeling glad he hadn’t rejected your advances, as he’d originally been planning to do. It was a shame he couldn’t keep you around a while longer - you were easy to please, and so eager to learn - but there was business to be done tomorrow, and it was nothing that an innocent girl like you should be caught up in. 

  Not this time, anyway.

  -

  The first light of dawn was just beginning to emerge over the swirling mists of tibanna gas that enclosed Cloud City, and you were in a panic. You’d been awakened from your blissed out slumber by the incessant bleating of your comlink, buried within the confines of your purse, which lay in a heap along with your clothing on the durasteel floor of Boba Fett’s transport, the Slave I . Jumping up from the cot and wincing at the sharp sting radiating from between your legs, you’d rifled through your belongings until you’d uncovered the damn contraption. Pressing the button on the side, a scrawl of Aurebesh sprang into being, and your heart sank into the pit of your stomach. Dank farrik. Your roommate.

  ‘Where are you?’ The urgency of the message was clear, having been sent thrice over the past half hour. You’d be surprised if they hadn’t already raised the alarm, that the Wing Guard wasn’t already out combing the city for you. They’d begged you to be home by dawn, and by the sound of the traffic outside, it was more around the time of the typical morning commute, a full hour or so later.

  You had to leave. Now .

  There was no sign of Boba Fett.

  You didn’t remember falling asleep after your tryst the previous night, but you had a vague memory of Fett waking you in the night and ordering you into the ‘fresher to urinate, and you’d been alone in the pilot’s quarters when the comm had begun chirping later on, fully waking you up. It didn’t look like anyone else had joined you on the cot overnight, and as you’d scrambled to scoop up your bag and don last night’s outfit - you were pretty sure your dress was inside out, but you found yourself beyond caring - and descend the ladder leading back into the cockpit area, you’d discovered where Fett had gone. He sat motionless in the pilot’s chair, fully armored and helmeted, studying a holo of what appeared to be the inner passageways of the Administrator’s Palace that was being projected from the ship’s dash, emanating a flickering, ghostly blue light in the early morning rays visible through the viewport. You stopped short across from the chair, and although Fett’s head didn’t turn even a hair, you knew he was watching you, wondering what you were doing.

  “I have to go. I was supposed to be home by now and my roommate’s going to kill me.” You explained briefly, then dashed towards the ramp leading to the docking bay outside. You felt as if you had become part of a child's bedtime story, a maiden whose jewel-encrusted gown would disintegrate to rags, whose enchanted ship would transform back into a jogan fruit if she didn’t return home by the stroke of midnight. This was all over too soon. As you rushed down the platform, you wondered whether Fett would say anything or if that would be it, if he would just watch you run off into the sunrise and consider his work done. You’d made it just beyond the confines of the ship’s overhang when you heard the telltale sound of spurs from behind you, slow and methodical steps. You stumbled to a halt and turned back to face the Slave I. Boba Fett stood there motionlessly, observing you.

  “Tell me, sarad’ika. Was it everything you've dreamed of?” The helmeted figure asked slyly, standing on the boarding ramp of his imposing, mottled ship, one hand resting casually on the overstuffed utility belt at his waist, the other dangling free at his side. You felt yourself flush at his question, knowing he was most likely grinning lecherously underneath his Mandalorian armor, but you still nodded, shifting your weight anxiously from one foot to the other. His gaze still penetrated your very soul from behind that black, T-shaped visor, made you feel so vulnerable.

  “Yes. And more. I… I don’t know what to say, other than… thank you.” You softly replied. You wondered, foolishly, if he was expecting payment for his services. Did he consider his conquest of you to be a job of sorts? Your answer came with a sharp gesture of his hand, cutting a quick line across the morning air between the two of you.

  “Then don’t say anything.” With a barely perceptible nod, Fett turned on his heel and began to make his way back into the confines of his ship. Something about watching him walk away from you made your heart hurt, although you doubted you would ever be able to explain why. You wondered whether you could make something more of this, something long-term and lasting, perhaps beyond your better judgement. You wanted to feel his mouth on yours again, and still felt his presence inside of you, the throb left behind by his considerable length filling you, and you already knew that you’d never want anyone else. You were addicted. You stepped forward, back towards the Slave I and its retreating owner, hopeful. If Rystáll Sant could do it, why couldn’t you?

  “Boba, wait. ” 

  Fett’s form stilled, halfway up the ramp, and he turned to face you once more, the dented helmet cocked to one side, obviously intrigued as to what you had to say. You had a feeling he knew what was coming and your stomach somersaulted at the thought, but you heard the words leave your mouth anyway, heard the pining in your voice despite your best efforts to sound neutral, unattached.

  “When can I see you again?” 

  ‘ Fierfek, you stupid girl. Now he’ll think you’ve gone and fallen in love with him, just because he was your first fuck …’ Your mind swam, and you wished you could rewind time, seal your mouth shut, take back the words as soon as you had spoken them, until you saw that Fett was sauntering down the ramp towards you. You froze, every muscle in your body turning to ice, as he strode towards you, coming to a stop directly in front of you. He was close enough that you could have reached out and placed your hands on his chest, thrown your arms around his neck, but you found you didn’t have the courage.

  “You can’t.” Fett answered you brusquely, emotionlessly, and you felt like he had slapped you across the face. You weren’t sure what exactly you’d been expecting when he’d approached you. The bounty hunter deftly reached out and cupped your chin between his index finger and thumb, pinching the skin in his grip and holding your gaze level with his. That visor was so dark, but you were so close you still could've sworn that you could see his face through the darkened T-shape, and that he was smiling . He released his grip and tapped the underside of your chin with his fingers, in an oddly playful manner. “Run along, little one. Go home. You don’t want to get into any more trouble now, do you?”

  With that, he whirled back around, cape flapping on his shoulder, marching solemnly back into the blackness concealing the innards of the Slave I. The ramp closed behind him with an anticlimactic hiss , and Boba Fett was gone from your life, just as quickly as he had entered it.

  Your ‘walk of shame’ back to your apartment felt more like a victory march, and when you walked into your living quarters, your roommate rushed towards you and demanded to know what had happened, where you had been, if you were okay. You only gave them a knowing smile. Maybe someday you’d share the story of your night with Boba Fett, but for now, you thought you’d let them try to put the pieces together on their own.

  Later that evening, when Baron Calrissian announced the Imperial takeover of Cloud City and the evacuation orders were given, as you packed a bag full of necessities and boarded a transport out of the city and listened to the whispered rumors that Han Solo had been frozen in carbonite and abducted from the Administrator’s Palace by a mercenary wearing Mandalorian armor, you couldn’t help but smile. 

  ‘Well, kriff. He’s actually done it.’ You thought smugly, grinning to yourself amidst a sea of panic. You hoped Boba Fett had been able to escape off-world with his bounty before the Wing Guard had sealed the docking bays, but you didn’t think you truly had anything to worry about. There was a reason why he was considered the best in the business. 

  Boba Fett had done it. 

  Right after he’d done you.

[lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie]

You And I

Summary:  The wedding was a disaster. The recent episode was a disaster. Roman feels like no one understands him anymore. Well, so he thought. Maybe he and Logan have more in common than they thought. Maybe something better is in store for them.

Pairings: Logince

Warnings: a bit of yelling in the beginning

Taglist:@larrymalecsolangelo (I hope this counts as Roman angst!)

________________________________________________________________

Logan sighs. Another day, another episode of him getting shoved aside and ignored. At this point, he’s used to it. The silence is just as welcoming anyway. He decides not to get too irrational over it and sits at his desk, working on Thomas’ schedule instead. Soon he gets really into it, typing away and writing things down. As he continues to type on, the sound of a slamming door startles him out of his work trance. Sighing again, the logical side pushes his chair back and rubs at his temples in slight frustration. Before he can even stand, he hears a muffled growl from the wall beside his bed. 

Roman’s room is on the other side. The creative side was often loud and noisy at almost all times of the day. He usually quiets down before midnight. Logan has grown used to the prince’s noise, wearing headphones when it got too noisy for him. Though now, Logan’s hearing sounds he hasn’t heard from Roman before. Nothing like this. Has Roman always made these sounds? Logan swallows, unsure of what to do or how to feel as more noises come from Roman’s room.

Another growl.

Shattering glass.

Screaming. 

Crying.

Things crashing.

Things falling.

Papers tearing and being crumpled.

Fists banging on a table.

“IT’S NOT FAIR!”

Logan pulls back at that, feeling his heart pound harder than ever. It’s never done that. What had happened while he was gone? Should he even ask? He doesn’t know. He can’t tell if Roman is really, really hurt or is being his dramatic self again. He remains sitting on his bed, trying to listen for more sounds. So far, he hears footsteps and heavy breathing. It’s silent then for a moment before a faint knock filters in. Roman’s sigh is heard then the sound of his footsteps follow as he answers the door. Patton’s sad but apologetic voice is soon heard as well.

“Hey, ki-”

“I’m not apologizing.”

“But-”

“But nothing, Patton. He gets away with calling me the evil twin but I’m in trouble for making fun of his name? Is that what you wanted to say?”

“Roman…”

“Don’t. Don’t play the victim. Don’t try to apologize. I’m done trying to get you all to listen to me for once. I’m done playing as your little prince. I’m done being your kiddo.”

“Y-You don’t-”

“I do. Now, don’t you have a snake to welcome to the family or are you going to scold me for being rude again?”

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry, Roman. Please, won’t you listen?”

An empty humorless laugh surprises Logan next along with what Roman says.

“Listen? Listen?! Patton, that’s all I’ve been doing! I’ve been following your lead. I trusted Janus and you say I was wrong. I didn’t trust Janus and you’re telling me I’m wrong again. And you expect me to listen to you again?! Look, I’m not adding to my already long list of mistakes. In fact, I won’t add to anything at all.”

“W-What? What do you mean?”

“Well, clearly you don’t want my input in anything. It’s too much or not enough or just plain childish. Sound familiar?”

Both Logan and Patton wince at that one. Logan more surprisingly. How much did Roman take his words to heart?

“Kiddo...you know we only meant well when we said that. We just want what’s best for Thomas.”

“No, YOU want what’s best for Thomas. YOU constantly shut the rest of us down when we try to share ideas. YOU only listen if it’s beneficial for Thomas. YOU don’t listen to any of us. Tell me, when was the last time you even let Logan have a chance to speak?”

That surprises Logan. He and Roman usually butt heads when it came to their functions and trying to help Thomas. Why did Roman care now?

“I...I do try to listen.”

“Do you? Because if you did, maybe you wouldn’t have to scold me. Maybe this mess wouldn’t have happened. Maybe our family wouldn’t be such a disaster!”

“Roman! How can you say that about us?”

“Because we are! We’re all broken and you can’t accept that! All you want is to put bandaids on the cracks and call it better. But it’s not better! It...It never will be…”

A sniffle follows and it’s not from Patton. It’s from Roman.

“It will...We all just need some time.”

“Time? For what? For us to forget all of this and move on like nothing happened? Like Janus didn’t just manipulate me like that? Like how we hurt Thomas and made things worse? Patton, stuff like this isn’t fixed with time...it’s not forgettable. I can’t forget...I...just get out.”

“But-”

“GET. OUT.”

Another door slam is heard followed by Roman’s growling and stomping. He’s heard climbing into his bed then...he sounds like he’s...sobbing? Has Roman ever sobbed? Odd. Logan’s never heard Roman sobbing before. Had he kept his headphones on his ears too long to even notice? Why does his heart feel heavy listening to this? Logan doesn’t understand much.

“It’s not fair...The one time I try to do something, I mess up. I always mess up. Everything went wrong because of me. Janus was accepted. Thomas got hurt. And...And I let Logan be impersonated next. He definitely hates me for that now. But then again, what’s a little more hate? Logan already has so many reasons to hate me. He made that loud and clear when he threw that paper ball at me. I can’t blame him. Emotions are hard to control. I should’ve known better. Anger isn’t easy for me to control either...oh stars, I’m a mess…”

That takes Logan aback. How long had Roman felt like this? Had he really hurt the prince this bad for him to feel this way? Just how bad did the creative side’s heart hurt? He doesn’t know but what he does know is that someone does understand how he feels. And he understands that someone. Deciding to fix his past mistakes and to make it up to Roman, Logan wiped his face that he now realizes is a little wet. He stands up, taking a deep breath before leaving his room. He then walks over to Roman’s room, knocking on the white and golden gilded door. A moment of silence passes by before the door opens and Roman shuffles out.

Roman’s actually a mess. His beloved prince costume is wrinkled and disheveled, the sash wrapped around the hand he must’ve used to smash the mirror. His eyes are red and puffy and his lips are set on a deep frown. His hair is a little messy as well. 

“Hey, Logan. Here to yell at me too for letting the snake get to you?” the prince sighs, voice tired from all the screaming and crying.

Logan feels the heavy weight in his heart grow...heavier.

“No...I came to talk to you, actually. I apologize if I were eavesdropping but I overheard you. Remember, my room is beside yours. I just wished to speak about today’s events and what I missed. It’s alright if you do not want to disclose anything but I need to know and I do not feel comfortable asking anyone else.” he explains awkwardly, fiddling with his tie.

Roman blinks before sighing again, rubbing at his sash covered hand.

“So...you want to hear the fall of Prince Roman Sanders and how he messed up, letting the snake win?” he asks tiredly. “Or would you like to hear the story of how Roman Sanders lost his title as Thomas’ hero?”

Logan frowns in concern at that, seeing the brokenhearted look in Roman’s eyes. He’s never seen that look in his eyes before. Then again, he never even bothered to look Roman much in the eye. Just how much is Roman really hurting? Did he himself contribute to that too? Had he been just as harsh? More and more questions fill his mind but Logan blinks and focuses, remembering what he came here for. Though maybe he should stay...

“I only wish to know what happened after Janus decided to...shove me aside again. Whatever is, it seems to upset you.” he says.

“I am upset, Logan!” Roman cries angrily. “Everything went wrong for me and I don’t know what to believe in anymore!”

“I...see...Well, if you really do not want to talk about the video then I shall take my leave.”

Logan turns to leave-

“Janus was accepted...”

Now that made Logan stop and turn around, that heavy feeling in his heart growing more. He’s never seen Roman so...down. It’s an odd thing to see the normally confident prince like this.

“So...he’s a light side now?” 

Roman nods numbly, lips quivering as tears streamed down his face. He didn’t bother to dry them or even compose himself. What was the point? Logan’s already seen how awful he looked and he’s heard the things he’d been trying to keep quiet. He sighs, plopping down on his bed and hugging himself tightly till his knuckles started turning white in hopes that Logan wouldn’t at least see him shaking. 

But Logan notices it for a microsecond, frowning and taking a step towards Roman. He doesn’t know what this weight in his chest is still but...it grew even heavier. Unsure of where to go from there, Logan awkwardly sits beside Roman, looking the prince up and down as he chooses his next words.

“How...did he get accepted?” the logical side asks, wincing slightly when he sees Roman stiffen before sighing. 

Before Logan can take the question back, Roman answers it. He tells him what happened, word for word. The fight between him and Patton against Janus. How Thomas got hurt. How Janus revealed his name. How he laughed in reply. How Janus called him the evil twin. How no one cared to defend him. How Thomas lied about being his hero. He told Logan everything he remembered and more. When he was done, tears were pouring out of his eyes. 

Logan is...well, he’s ironically speechless. Sure, Janus had his moments of arrogance and cruelty but to hit Roman where it really hurts...that was going too far. Even if he and Roman clashed and threw insults at each other in the past, he never wanted to bruise the prince’s ego. He never wanted to cause harm. Anger was just hard for him to control...and now so it was for Roman too. So he finds himself touching Roman’s shoulder, feeling the prince shiver.

“That’s quite the ordeal. I will be honest...I’m not happy about Janus’ actions all the same. He...He did not have to hurt you to get what he wanted.” Logan says, anger flashing in his eyes along with this newfound need to protect Roman. “Or me...If he really wanted what was best for Thomas, you’d think he knew better to work with us and not against us.”

Roman sighs but doesn’t brush Logan’s hand off. It felt...nice.

“Spare me the lies, Logan. You’d choose him over me too. He’s mature and smart and probably more realistic than I’ll ever be.” he sighs. “Besides, why would you care about me? I made fun of you and I fought with you. I even let you get impersonated and shoved aside. Don’t you hate me too?”

Logan’s heart breaks, hearing that. He felt bad. Very, very bad...Oh. Guilt, there it is. That’s what he was feeling inside. That’s what that weight in his heart was. So he squeezes Roman’s shoulder, looking at him again.

“I don’t think I ever have. I know we had our arguments and our moments but I don’t think I could ever dislike you. You are so much more than it seems. I was a blind fool to see that.” he admits, flustering slightly. “I never even saw how much you’ve been hurting, Roman. Sometimes I forget you’re more than just creativity. You’re the ego…”

“And egos bruise easily…” Roman finishes with a sigh. “Which makes me bruise easily. Why do you think I play the role that I do? Who wants to see a broken and ugly Roman?”

Logan frowns, seeing another tear roll down Roman’s cheek. He finds himself unable to stop as the hand on the prince’s shoulder moved to his face and wiped the tear away. He definitely didn’t miss the way Roman seemed to lean into his touch with want. It makes Logan wonder just how lonely Roman felt. And maybe...maybe he understood that feeling. Those desires for even just a gentle touch. A chance to be heard. Even just the barest hint of acknowledgment. Maybe a praise. A real praise. Maybe he can give some to Roman...even if he can’t receive any himself.

“I do not think you’re broken or ugly. You’re Roman. The creative and romantic side. The ego. A side with talent far better than mine. A side who can build worlds and bring ideas to life in the blink of an eye. A side who deserved better than what the world has given to you. A side who’s much more than a prince.” Logan says, caressing Roman’s cheek. “A side I should have gotten to know better. A side I…”

It’s then that Logan realizes a new feeling he hasn’t felt in a while. It was warm and fuzzy and..right. It was heated and curious. It was a desire to pull Roman close and never let go. It was a need to make Roman the happiest side ever. It was...It was...oh...love. That’s the one. Love is something new and old to Logan. He felt it and stopped feeling it and now...he’s feeling it again. The last time he felt love was...several months ago on a Christmas morning. 

He felt it, seeing Roman smile and sing at the top of his lungs. He felt it whenever Roman said his name with glee. He felt it when he saw Roman beam at his rare praises (something he realizes he needs to make less rare). He felt it when Roman gave him his gift. He felt it reading through the pages. He thought he’d fallen in love with Sherlock but...it was never Sherlock...was it?

“Specs?...Logan?”

Logan blinks and realizes he’s been staring at Roman’s face, the prince’s eyes gazing up at him curiously. Oh...he’s much closer now. Very...very...close. For a moment Logan couldn’t breathe but then he remembers and flusters.

“Ah...A-Apologies. I may have overstepped my boundaries.” Logan says, starting to pull away.

“W-Wait!” Roman grabs his wrist and puts his hand back on his cheek, nuzzling it with a shy but faint smile. “I...you can keep doing it.”

Roman doesn’t know why can’t stop or pull away. It just felt nice. The touches. The attention. He just needed to know if it were true. What if Logan was lying? What if Patton just sent him? What if Janus was impersonating him again? What if-

“Roman...Roman, you’re overthinking, love. I see it in your eyes.” Logan suddenly cuts through, tilting the prince’s head up with a finger under his chin. “What’s on your mind?”

Roman flusters, turning as red as his sash. Logan’s never called him ‘love’ before. He bites his lip, looking away for a moment but the hand on his cheek makes him look back up again into Logan’s pretty eyes. 

“It’s just...after what happened...um…” he starts but doesn’t know how to say it without upsetting Logan through his words.

Logan notices the fear in his eyes and softens.

“I can assure you, I am not leaving you. Nor am I Janus in disguise. And most importantly, my words are true. To lie to you now, that would only break your heart and that is not what I want to do.” he whispers.

“B-But...how do I know you’re...you?”

Logan manages a tiny smile and looks Roman in the eyes, taking Roman’s hand and placing it gently on his cheek. Oh...so that’s what a gentle touch felt like. He wonders...would Roman ever let him have more? Perhaps another time, Logan tells himself as he looks into Roman’s eyes.

“I could never wear scales for you, my dear. I am myself. And I bear the scar from Janus’ actions.” he assures the creative side, tilting to the side and showing the mark that Janus left from yanking him away with his cane.

Roman sees it and doesn’t stop himself from reaching up and tracing his fingers over it. He concentrates and heals the mark, his fingers lingering on the skin. Guilt fills his heart and glimmers in his eyes. If he hadn’t opened his big mouth, Logan wouldn’t have been harmed. If he hadn’t been so focused on himself...he at least would have noticed Logan sooner. Logan should have been noticed sooner. Maybe now is a good time to try and apologize?

“Logan?”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry…”

Logan blinks, gazing softly at Roman, caressing his cheek again to stop his shaking.

“What for, my dear?”

Roman flusters but sighs, playing with Logan’s tie.

“For not noticing you sooner. For being dumb and helping Janus impersonate you. I should have helped you like a hero.” he mumbles, running his thumb over the blue silky fabric.

Logan feels himself soften at that apology, smiling at Roman. He feels warmer than ever and it didn’t seem so bad. It made him feel a little lighter even. He tilts Roman’s head up again.

“Don’t blame yourself for that. You didn’t know. I should have seen Janus coming too. But know you are not at fault for anything. Janus manipulated the both of us. It’s him that we blame.” he says, a dark look flickering in his eyes for a moment.

Roman blinks in surprise.

“That’s it? No yelling or telling me I messed up again? No fights or arguments?” 

“None. There is no reason or cause for any of that. We’ve hurt each other in the past. I believe it’s time to move on from that. I know now just how much you’re hurting and I know I had a part in causing that. If you’d let me, I’d like to make that right.”

Roman looks at Logan with wide watery eyes, searching for that golden glint of deception. He searches for that yellow-slitted eye. But...there’s nothing there but that mesmerizing ocean blue. Even when he leans so close to the point where their lips could almost touch, he sees nothing but that truthful gazes.

“After everything I said and did...you’d forgive me?” he asks one last time to be sure.

“Of course, my dear. Shall I do something more to prove it?” Logan replies, eyes flickering to Roman’s irresistible lips.

Roman nods and Logan pulls him close, his lips touching the other’s. It’s soft and careful and light, an opening left there should Roman want to back out. But...he doesn’t. Roman, having grown desperate for any kind of affection, kisses back. His hands cling to Logan as if he were afraid he’d leave him to kiss the air. A soft but contented sigh leaves Roman in between kisses, feeling Logan’s arms now wrap around him and hold him tight. It just felt...safe. So safe...that he wants more and more. 

Logan, on the other hand, is feeling that heat inside grow hotter. He’s never felt anything like this before. He wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to. But now? He felt wonderful, incredible, and so many more words that would take him a while to list down. This...This hot and electrical rush was too good to let go of. It makes him wonder why he held back all those years. Like Roman would have sung...so this is love…

Then they pull away, gazing at each other in wonder, faces flustered and a pretty red. There’s this warm and secure atmosphere they’ve created for each other. It’s silent as they smile at each other, wondering what to say next. Never in their wildest dreams did either of them think they’d end up here, kissing each other after being at each other’s throats for years. This was definitely much nicer. So they bask in the silence for a moment. Then,

“Logan?” Roman breaks that silence.

“Yes, my dear?”

“Thank you. For everything.”

“Of course, Roman. I...I love you.”

Roman blinks before smiling softly.

“I love you, too.” he caresses Logan’s cheek before remembering their situation with Janus and the others, “So what happens next?”

“Well, you have me and I have you, right?” Logan replies, squeezing Roman’s hand.

“Right, but I meant with the others. Do we really have to stay with them when Janus is there?”

“Do you want to?”

Roman sighs.

“No…”

“Then what do you propose we should do, my dear?”

“Hmm…”

A week then passes after the POF incident and Roman and Logan have decided to avoid the others, hiding in their rooms. Sometimes Roman would spend all day in Logan’s room and vice versa. The two of them could hear Patton apologizing profusely at the other door. They could hear Janus muttering half-hearted apologies and insincere regrets. But neither Roman or Logan cared. If Patton and Janus wanted to ignore them then they’ll ignore them back. Patton always did say to follow the golden rule.  

Soon it’s evening again and Logan’s spending his day in Roman’s room. They were sitting on the bed and talking about different things, chuckling quietly among themselves as they talked about a plan Roman suggested. Something he says that’s been long overdue as well as help them really get away from the others. 

“Are you sure about this, Roman?” Logan asks one more time as a precaution.

“Yes, love. For the millionth time, we’ll be fine. I promise, it’ll help all of us and we can be free there. No more being ignored or silenced. We can be us!” Roman grins excitedly.

Logan chuckles, something he’s been doing more since he’s gotten together with Roman.

“Alright but do know there are consequences too.”

“Relax, Lo. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

With that, Logan lets himself be tugged along and led to the door to the Imagination. The two walk through and traverse the land until they reach the border that Roman’s half from the darker part of the Imagination. They walk over the marble bridge, through the center gazebo and down some rickety steps. It’s dark now and cold but Roman isn’t phased. He’s been here enough and has grown used to the atmosphere here. That, and the creatures here have been created to cause no harm unless their maker wills it. Before the two know it, they’re at a familiar green and onyx gilded door. It’s teeming with thorny roots and dead roses. Roman has to stop and take a deep breath before knocking.

The door opens with a creak.

“You...You came back...

“Of course, I did. I made a royal promise. Is...Is there room for two more?”

A familiar face with a wide grin and glowing red eyes answer him.

“Welcome home, dear brother. And welcome to the family, Logan.”

“Thank you...Remus.”

[my-arlington-academia]

How would the main 10 react if scholar gets jealous ?

Alright 😂 let's make the MC jealous! I hope I'll be able to deliver what you had in mind and thank you for the request as always 💕💖

(On a side-note: when you guys don't specify Scholar's gender, I always write in "you/your" by default so don't hesitate to tell me what pronouns you'd like me to use! I know that some people can find it weird, reading headcanons that directly put them into MC's shoes, but if it doesn't bother you then carry on as always 👌)

Alistair

- immediately notices that you become a bit cold when that "friend" from the athletics department is around

- is it... jealousy?

- Alistair considers that possibility right away, maybe because deep down he kinda wants it to be true? A little bit?

- pulls you aside and asks you what's wrong

- "Y/N... when Sam is around you always act a bit weird. Is something wrong? Does he make you uncomfortable? Maybe I can help you guys talk it out!"

- you shamefully admit that it's not it, from there on, the way you avert your eyes and that obvious blush on your face makes Alistair sure of it

- "Haha... You're jealous, right? You of all people..."

- he's grinning, this is making him way happier than he thought it would and it pisses you off a little bit

- "Hey! What the hell?? D-Don't be so happy about that kind of stuff! It's not funny!"

- despite what you're saying, he can't wipe that smile off his face, instead he hugs you tightly to compensate

- "Sorry... pffthahaha... sorry. Yeah, you're right it's not funny. It's just really really cute."

Axel

- it's actually really easy to make Axel jealous and he always gets annoyed at that part of himself

- so when you're the one being jealous for once? Oh boy is he happy...

- You already knew about the difficulties that can arise from dating Axel so you're usually hard to break

- But this one time there was a girl who was being especially clingy and friendly

- Axel noticed the shift in your behaviour right away

- he's smirking while questioning you

- you decide to be honest and ignore how happy Axel is with this whole situation

- "I uh. I guess I was a little bit... ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜs."

- Axel comes closer to you and acts like he didn't hear what you said

- "Huh? What was that? Sorry you're just so quiet I didn't catch that."

- you remember all the times he was the one being jealous but everytime you brushed him off and told him that he was "just being silly"

- now that you're on the other end, it's kind of ironic

- you know fully well that he did hear you, but feeling pressured you say it again

- "J-Jealous. I was jealous."

- when Axel notices how red you are and your eyes full of tears, he ends the joke and hugs you

- "Geez come on, don't make that face sweetheart..."

Claire

- okay now that's a funny one

- she does catch on the fact that you're acting different but she tries to approach you in a really polite way

- "So um. You know uh... I'm really sorry if I'm jumping to conclusions and it might be really preposterous of me to think of it that way but... Could it be that you're jealous?"

- she's so nervous, as if she's asking something really rude

- you admit it quite easily, there's no reason for you to hide that from Claire

- she's always so caring and understanding about everything

- "Oh! I see! So it really was jealousy... Well in any case please don't worry! I mean I would never, ever cheat on you I swear!! I assure you that it's just your mind playing tricks on you!"

- Even though she doesn't want to admit it, it's clear that she's a little bit happy about the fact that you were jealous

- but still worried about you because jealousy is really not a pleasant feeling

Ellie

- sees that you suddenly become really quiet once that person comes to greet her and have a small chat

- Ellie is friendly with a lot of people and a chatterbox so she easily becomes close with others

- hell, she's the most popular person in her department, if that's not an achievement then you don't know what is

- she tries to talk to you about it but you clumsily dodge her questions

- "Hmmm... Y/N you're acting reaaaaally suspicious right now, you know that?"

- tickles you into submission

- "HHAHAHA O-okayhahahaha Okay!! Okay... Alright, yeah, I was jealous. So what?"

- hugs you and kisses you on your cheek

- "So nothing at all! You're really a worrywart! There's no way I would give up on you silly!"

- from then on, when that person approaches you guys she holds your hand and acts all lovey-dovey in public

- now everyone knows that you guys are dating... but hey! At least no more reason to be jealous!

Karolina

- here we have miss master heartbreaker

- which is funny because she's also the kind of person who gets easily jealous for the smallest things

- someone sits too close to you in class? Back off!

- someone's giving you the soft eyes™? Get lost!

- the joy she feels when you're finally the one to be jealous cannot be described

- she decides to play a bit with you, even if it's a cruel way to do it, she really wants you to be the one to assert dominance for once

- you catch on her little game but break eventually

- the way you shoved that guy aside made him fear for his life

- "Karolina, what you did just now? That was really childish and unfair."

- she playfully rolls her eyes

- "Oh please. You mean how you always do it to me? Or is it not "childish and unfair" when you're the one to do it?"

- welp. She has a point

- but in the end she's fully satisfied with your little outburst of jealousy

- you guys carry on as always: half fighting and half flirting

Neha

- it takes Neha about a day to figure it out

- of course she's emotionally intelligent but she thought that maybe you were going through some personal stuff you didn't want to share yet

- Neha is really respectful about that kind of stuff, she won't pry unless she absolutely has to

- not to mention that you're sulking in a really subtle way, had she not known you for a long time, she wouldn't catch that at all

- figures out that it has something to do with that girl from the fashion department she's been hanging out a lot with (for purely work related purposes)

- "Y/N, there's something you want to tell me, isn't there?"

- she really catches you off-guard

- you decide that there's no use hiding that from her and tell her you understand how illogical your jealousy is but you can't help it

- as you explain your feelings to her, a small smile appears on her face

- "Wait... Neha, are you happy that I'm jealous?!"

- "W-what?! No!!! ...Well okay, maybe just a little bit..."

Raquel

- gets that there's something going on with you but not exactly what

- it does cross her mind that you might be jealous but she writes it off as "wishful thinking"

- Raquel is pretty popular in general and despite that you have never been jealous

- it seemed unlikely that now, all of a sudden you would start feeling jealous

- But since you're being so moody lately, Raquel gets really concerned, it's not like you're always super cheerful or anything but you've never been this... annoyed?

- "Y/N listen, are you like... jelly or something? I mean it's probably not it but you've been acting kinda weird recently."

- But she hit the nail on the head

- Raquel looks at you in disbelief

- "No way... seriously?? You're jealous?? Oh my God..."

- She practically jumps on you to hug you

- "Woah! Easy there... Well in any case, glad to see that my jealousy makes you sooooo happy."

- she tightens her arms around you even more

- "Awww... come on! Don't be so bitter Y/N, you know that you're the only one for me!"

- says it dramatically but she really means it

Tadashi

- this is the dense brick, a stonewall

- the funny thing is that he can be really perceptive when it comes to other people but when it's for himself?

- he has no clue what's wrong with you

- thinks that maybe it'll go away soon enough and he just tries to be there for you

- you're the one to question him

- "So, haven't you figured out why I've been acting like this? Doesn't it bother you or could it be that you didn't even notice?"

- blinks at you a couple of times before answering

- "You mean how sometimes you randomly become irritable? I don't know, is there something stressing you out? If there is I would be happy to help you."

- you facepalm yourself mentally, seems like you'll have to say it clearly rather than making him guess, if you ask him to guess he'll be like "What do you mean? What's the point of doing that? Just tell me."

- "Tadashi it's just that, well... lately I've been feeling kind of... jealous. You spend a lot of time with Veronica and it just... it makes me upset even though I shouldn't be."

- Tadashi stays silent for a couple of seconds and you can see his cheeks switching from it's usual shade to a deep red

- "...Oh? Jealous hm... I see, okay. Well, I'm not sure how to make you feel better since it is an irrational feeling but... I-I would never abandon you. Maybe it's not the right word to use but... I mean it! You matter to me a lot. More than you think."

Tegan

- Tegan has a big brain but he has such a low self-esteem that he didn't even consider your behaviour to be a simple case of jealousy

- tries to brush it off and instead keep your mind away from... whatever is bothering you

- you really want him to catch the hint so you try making your behaviour even more obvious

- thankfully he ends up taking it as a possibility at least

- "Y/N? Do you not... like it when I spend time with Daniel?"

- he's still so unsure that he doesn't even dare to use the word "jealousy", you end up confirming it for him

- "That's right. I wish you would spend that time with me instead of him... I mean of course I'm not telling you to not hang out with the people you get along with but uh... ughhhh... sorry, I'm not making any sense today. Forget I said anything..."

- Tegan shyly grabs your hands, trying to be as reassuring as he can

- "Please, don't worry about stuff like that... I would never think about uh... getting with someone else other than you. I mean, I honestly still can't believe that we're together. It's like I'm living in another reality or something..."

Tyler

- he has seen his fair share amount of drama in movies, he knows what's going on and he loves it

- is super giddy at the idea of you wanting to keep him only for yourself

- he's so smug that it makes you angrier... but you can't stay mad for long with him, he's too witty and adorable

- when you try to be cold with him he either keeps poking your cheeks with his fingers, tries tickling you, hugging you from behind or doing all of those in this specific order

- "Come ooonnn... just be honest with me, you're jealous, aren't you?"

- he's so close to your ear, he's almost whispering

- "Ugh. Fine. Yes. So what are you gonna do about it?"

- you can't even see his expression since you're facing away from him, but you can somehow tell that he definitely has a smirk on his face

- Tyler turns you around to face him and kisses you

- "You're waaaay cuter than any of those people, even though I'm not even sure who you're jealous of since you're being so secretive about it... Maybe if you spill the beans I'll kiss you again? Sounds like a pretty good deal, doesn't it??"

[we-rate-tmnt]

I request: Leonardo. Please and thank you 🙏.

Idk if everyone loves Leo or if my header and avatar just remind everyone about this amazing blue boy. (This one’s super silly btw. I’m just sillier as time goes on. Character development I guess?) 

The iconic leador Leonardo (1987)

Bro idk why but I loved this Leo. I have a tiny memory, especially with this version but I clearly remember that I thought he was the funniest and the coolest. I mean, he had swords, what was I supposed to do as a 7-year-old. NOT like him??? Anyway, while Raph was the best at insult comedy, I think Leo had the best puns and punchlines. I really like how nonchalant this Leo is compared to his iterations, going along with really silly ideas and having fun along the way. But because of this, his leadership is a little forced at times, he seems like such a chill and fun dude that when he gets serious, I have to squint and ask ‘are you Leo? Or were you just putting on act a moment ago?’ Or my perception is entirely warped over time. Either way, good turtle boy, could have used some work tho. 5.7/10

Here comes grumpy lad wooo this is all read very monotone btw Fearless Leader (2003)

What. What the fuck happened. I was actually so confused when Leo turned really angry and serious and almost manic. I thought that episode when he popped into Casey’s window and was like ‘Hey bitch lets go beat the shit out of some lowlifes’ I was WOAH THERE BUDDY BACK UP BACK UP BACK TF UP. It was so sudden to me and when it was finally explained, it made some sense??? Like yeah, character development is great an’ all but this ain’t it chief. I can’t imagine what it was like having to wait for these episodes to release one at a time. Bc I watched every episode back to back on Youtube and I was genuinely bamboozled. But when you have an experience like that where guilt is weighing down on you from a situation you couldn’t control, it would’ve been HELLA HELPFUL to have at least a flashback, like a line saying ‘I was so useless!’ at BARE MINIMUM. Like right after Shredder is booted off to Planet Zula, Donnie would notice that Leo didn’t seem all that happy and would ask why and Leo would get upset and yell at Donnie saying that ‘You wouldn’t understand’, ‘You don’t know how I felt, how I feel because of that’, etc. Like you don’t even have to say he felt guilty or helpless, just give us something to grab onto. We’re merely six-year-olds who thought they could climb the YMCA rock wall in easy mode but instead the script riders harnessed us up on the hard one and wouldn’t let us come down until we rang the little bell at the top. I think that is the only problem I had with his Leo. The sudden change of calm and decisive to angry and irrational was so jarring that it felt unnatural without that crucial context. If you want a surprise reveal, at least hint at the reveal (like just about every Disney movie with their ‘twist’ villains) not wait until the very last moment. I think this might be my least favorite Leo and I think the season where he stood out the most and seemed the strongest was Fast Forward (Which was GOOD FIGHT ME), especially in scenes with Dark Leo, his clone. He sees so much of himself in Dark Leo but he also sees something he had once grasped (AKA the poorly written character arc, I CANNOT stress how bad I thought it was). Although, I honestly think he’s a really good character and he’s a pretty neat guy. However, this score is entirely held up by Fast Forward and his connection with Usagi, sword bros to the end of time. 3/10 (2 for FF and 1 for Usagi)

And now a Leo that makes me genuinely feel UWU Leo (2012)

I cannot stress how much I like this guy! Like his design is so appealing, his dedication, his obsession with Space Heroes, like I FUCKING LOVE IT. And everyone knows, that shit with Karai, at first when they didn’t realize they were related, I can let slide but kajsdflksadf what even like why did the writers feel the need to add in more ‘love interest’ implications like yuck yuck yuck. The only two interactions with Leo and Karai that I really like are when Leo defeats her using the healing hands technique and when Leo has a goth/emo/punk/idk I’m new here phase and they team up and EXPLOSIONS. He was introduced to us as being incredibly naive and his idea of leadership is from some old cartoon that’s basically star trek but ethically questionable. After his fights in season 1, to the finale with the technodrome, you can see his growth. He’s able to formulate plans and make life or death decisions. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. When Leo got hurt, I felt like the oof sound effect mixed with some tears I normally shed at some Shojo manga bs. While the episodes following were super weird, it was a nice way to help Leo recover, not only physically but spiritually (Although I don’t remember the spirit arc at all except the epic Raph vs Fishface fight, so we’re skipping that). When Master Splinter really died, you could tell there was a huge impact on Leo, but he had to remain stoic and lead the family now. A lot of heartbreaking moments in this series came from Leo and I’m glad they took at least some thought into developing him. Tiny head Leo will haunt my nightmares, but the giggly fanboy will warm my heart constantly. 6/10

I only have one word for this Leo (Heroes in a Half Shell: Blast to the Past)

This is a super crazy bad idea accent on the super crazy bad part have I mentioned it’s also a really terrible idea/10

Okay, spoiler alert, didn’t really think this Leo was that grand Leo (2014/2016)

Painfully average. He didn’t stand out that much, Raph was part of the focus and had that touching scene at the end, Donnie was ICONIC and Mikey (with his weird-ass eyes) was super lively and funny! Leo? Uh, I don’t remember a single line he said. Because he never really grabbed my attention, I don’t have too much to say on this version. The Raph and Leo fight felt forced and the whole ‘keep this stuff that could turn us human a secret’ was pretty pointless and was added just to cause drama, I don’t even remember what that Splinter and Leo conversation was about. Design-wise, really neat! You can see some more traditional Japanese clothing/style mixed with modern (I’d feel a lot better about this assumption if some could tell exactly what the heck he’s wearing, but I get traditional Japan warrior vibes from it) in his look which was super neat! Other than that, if you like him, please tell me why because I don’t get. He was just kinda eh. 5/10

AHHH MY BOY YASSS WHOOO!! Neon Leon (2018)

Okay, I loved Ben Schwarts already from Parks and Rec but like him being Sonic AND Leo, like DUDE. He’s super funny by himself but teamed up with this shows writing and animation, it makes it hilarious. I literally love this Leo so much, maybe because we’re alike but honestly, he’s amazing. I love his design with the red and yellow crescents accenting his skin and livening up his color pallet. He has a very healthy and natural dynamic with his brothers, he’s the first to know what’s wrong and tries his best to make up for his actions. This is really prominent in the most recent episodes, along with the episode portal jacked. In both, Leo is separated from his brothers. Portal Jacked is in a more literal sense, while Air Turtle handles in more of an emotional sense. While both are brief, Leo sees his error and tries his best to make it up to them. I love his dynamic so much and it’s so nice to see something like this compared to the unnecessary drama and tension between the brothers in the previous series. It’s refreshing and this is something a younger audience needs to see; instead of fighting, it’s better to work together and improve yourself along the way. Improvement is a big theme for Leo here. He’s a goofball, makes jokes at every opportunity and isn’t quite skilled at fighting or using his weapon. But he grows over time, he learns to manage his power and he’s working on mastering it. He’s trying to put aside his narcissism more and focuses on his family. I think the approach they took with him rising to leader rather than slapping it on his forehead was the goddamn best decision they could make. He’s making plans, finding loopholes, helping out and getting out of his comfort zone. I cannot stress how well this show has handled Leo, along with the other characters. I can’t wait to see more episodes about his growth and I am awarding him with one of the greatest honors I could give... 10/10

Storytime: I drew a super cute 2012 Leo, you should look at him. Shameless self-promo, but you should follow me on my main blog bc I’m nice and I draw pretty pictures. Also. I have a little 2012 Leo Happy Meal toy??? I think??? guarding my window and he’s been there for YEARS. I need to bring him in and refresh his paint job.

Wow! I didn’t expect this many requests for Leo, so the blog will be momentarily spammed with the requests, but it shouldn’t be too much! Up next should be the last turtle (Mikey) and then we can get to some REALLY great requests I’m eager to answer. As usual, please comment and reblog! I’d love to hear your opinion!

[avengerscompound]

The Frame Job - 1

The Frame Job: A Bruce Banner Fanfic

Masterlist

Buy me a ☕ Square: @brucebannerbingo​ - U1 Bruce Banner/Sharon Carter

Rating:  G

Warning: Canon Typical Violence

Word Count: 934

Pairing:  Bruce Banner x Reader (eventual), Bucky Barnes x Sharon Carter x Steve Rogers (Background)

Summary: When Bucky Barnes is taken from the compound and the only clue anyone has is a large damaged area of the compound and a faint Gamma signature, everyone suspects Bruce.  It is up to you and him to get to the bottom of the disappearance.

Chapter 1

She walked into the room like she owned both it and everything in a five-mile radius, her catsuit showing off every exquisite curve of her body.  She carried herself like a weapon aimed directly in your direction.  You looked up from your desk and she stopped, folding her arms and gazing down at you like a predator about to strike.

“Is Banner here?”  She snarled.

You didn’t even need to answer.  The good doctor came out of the lab.  He looked around, sensing the danger Sharon Carter was exuding.

“Sharon?”  He said softly.  “Is something wrong?”

“I need your help,” she said.  “Bucky’s gone missing.”

The words hung in the air like a cloud of black smoke.  Bruce blinked at the blonde and gestured to the door of his lab.  Sharon strode into the room, you watched the sway of her hips as she moved and you weren’t the only one.  Bruce’s eyes ran over her greedily, like he was trying to read her intention of the angle of her curves.

“Come on,” he said to you as he followed her inside.

You followed after and stood by the door as Bruce took a seat on one of his stools.  He gestured for Sharon to take another but she shook her head.  “What can I do to help?”  He asked.

She folded her arms and glared at him.  “I think you know.”

The words sat heavy with accusation.  There was no question.  No gentle coercion for information.  She knew he had something to do with it and now she just wanted the why.

Bruce took his glasses off, the soft, patient veil not shifting.  “What exactly are you accusing me of, Agent Carter?”

“Bucky was last seen on the north edge of the compound.  An area that now looks like one very alive and very green bulldozer has smashed through it.  There are also faint gamma readings there,” Sharon said.  “You’re saying you don’t have any idea of what could have happened there?”

“Are you absolutely sure you want to accuse me of what it sounds like you’re accusing me of?”  Bruce asked.

It was a mistake to make the mild-mannered Doctor Banner angry and Sharon was now striding headlong past the line that would do so.  She narrowed her eyes and tapped her fingers on her arm.  “I want answers.  Steve has gone chasing after him as he always does, but also doing that other very noble thing he does, and believing the best in people.  You specifically.”

“You really think I did something to Bucky?”  Bruce asked.

She started to slowly pace around the room, picking up random objects like they might hold the answer to her questions.  “The facts are, that's where he was last seen and you have a very violent side that could easily dispatch a super-soldier.”

Bruce sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he assessed the blonde.  You felt like she might be very close to seeing that very violent side of him soon if she continued the same line of questioning.  “As I’m sure you’re a little distressed due to having your husband and his boyfriend missing,” Bruce began. “I’m trying to allow you a little irrationality.  God knows I can be irrational when I’m upset too.  But don’t you think if I had done anything to a person I considered a friend, I might now be feeling a little guilty about it?  And I might not just be working in my lab like nothing had happened?”

“Besides,” you added.  “There would be some of him left, wouldn't there?  It’s not like the Hulk just swallows people whole.”

Sharon collapsed onto one of the stools and sighed.  “I just want to find them, and frankly, despite Steve’s objections, you’re the best lead.”

Bruce’s eyes flicked from Sharon to you and back, unable to decide on the best place to land.  “I’ll look into it for you,” he said, finally.  “If that’s what the site looks like, then someone might be trying to make it look like I did this.”

“Who would do that?” Sharon asked.

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Bruce said, getting up.

Sharon looked at him and the steel look she had been wearing since she showed up softened to silk.  “I’m so sorry for accusing you, Bruce.  I just… need him back.”

Bruce put his hands on her shoulder.  “I probably would have blamed me too.”

You scurried after him as he headed out of the science wing into the grounds.  “Who would want to ruin your reputation and hurt Bucky like that?”  You asked.

He shook his head.  “There are a few government agencies I could think of.  I’m not sure if they’re capable of this,” he said and pinched his nose.  “And to be honest with you, I can’t definitively say this wasn’t me.  I did let him out recently.”

“The Hulk doesn’t just eat teammates,” you argued.  “Maybe it’s a coincidence.  Bucky is flighty.  He took off and then later Hulk smashed up some stuff.”

“That’s a nice hypothesis,” Bruce said as you reached the area which most definitely looked like Hulk had gone on a rampage.  “Why would he have done this unless something provoked him?”

You touched his hand and he looked back at you, his eyes softening at the tender gesture.  “You didn’t do this, Bruce.”

He gave a small nod.  “Maybe you’re right.  There’s just one small problem.”

“What’s that?”

He turned back to the near created at the side of the forest and his jaw tensed.  “I’m not the only Hulk.”

// NEXT

[puddygeeks]

Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 42: Rᴇғʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴs

Masterlist

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Forty-Two

The afternoon passed quickly as I milled around camp in a vain effort to memorise it’s layout. After my encounter with Jasper I felt heavy and emotionally drained and had eventually left him to sleep. There was no sign of Bellamy anywhere on my exploration through camp and I struggled to keep myself distracted as my frustration with him mounted in my mind. I carried an overpowering feeling of anxiety as I considered how unprepared I was to rejoin camp and I felt alienated from the other residents. Abby’s conversation had given me a painful awareness of how little I knew of the current situation and I was afraid to ask any questions in case I accidentally upset someone who had been involved in some of the recent losses. The sensation of treading on eggshells haunted me as I wandered the courtyard and observed all of the new faces that made it difficult to feel that I belonged here. Despite all of the pain and loss of our original camp compared to the much improved time that I’d already spent here, I couldn’t deny that a small part of me longed for the familiarity of the territory that we had built for ourselves. Over our traumatic time on Earth, the first camp had become the home where we solidified our bonds and it seemed strange not to return there.

As the light faded to dusk I directed myself to Bellamy’s quarters with worry blossoming in my chest and was relieved to find that he had already returned for the day. He was in the process of changing clothes and as he clocked my entrance, he smiled with a playful look.

“I was wondering when you’d find your way back. I couldn’t find you in the dorms.” He revealed as he busied himself with seeking out a fresh shirt and it was clear that he was completely relaxed in my company. I stepped further into the room and leaned against a desk in an attempt to act casual.

“I wasn’t sure when you’d be free. Kane seems to have kept you busy.” I commented idly and he hummed in response. He finished dressing and ran a hand through his scruffy hair before he strolled over to meet me with a fond smile.

“What did you get up to ?” He checked with an obvious interest and I caught him staring at my figure as if he was analysing me. I hoped that my building concern was not visible to him as I suppressed a nervous feeling in my stomach.

“I checked up on Jasper and Raven. It was nice to get back in touch.” I answered as I stalled to allow myself the time to decide how to address my queries and he smiled in a way that revealed he was unaware of any warnings in my demeanour. “Abby called me in for a checkup too.” I added and he flinched at the mention of the new Chancellor.

“How much trouble are we in?” He enquired with a playful tone to his voice and his eyes glistened with mischief as he explored my body.

“None. The wound is a little inflamed but healing well. Nothing more than a light scold from Abby either.” I confirmed and he sighed lightly in relief. He stepped closer into my space and I recognised from the way that his eyes ravished me exactly where his mind was going. I cleared my throat and scrutinised him for any signs of avoidance. I know that he was likely to brush me off and prepared myself to analyse him for tells that would indicate his true feelings. “She filled me in on some other things too.” I stated in an indirect method of steering the conversation and he hummed disinterestedly as he surveyed me, biting his lip suggestively. “She told me about Clarke.” I disclosed and I noticed that his posture stiffened as his eyes met mine. I raised a brow at him inquisitively and he stepped back from me as he slid his hands into his pockets.

“Of course she did.” He sighed and dropped his attention to his feet to avoid my gaze. “She was pretty messed up after Mount Weather. She couldn’t deal with coming back to camp. I tried to convince her but…” He trailed off as his focus remained on the floor and he fidgeted his feet. I sighed as I sensed that there was more to this than he was saying and steeled myself in preparation for a difficult conversation.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I queried in a small voice and he reluctantly dragged his face up to meet my eyes.

“I didn’t want to dwell on it. Indie, I just got you back, I wanted to enjoy that for as long as possible.” He explained defensively and I smiled at him fondly as I enjoyed the acknowledgement that I knew him well enough to have anticipated his reasoning. “Look, things haven’t been great here. I know that we both have to face that eventually, but when it’s just you and I...it’s easy.” He added with a doting expression as he surveyed me and I felt a flutter in my chest at his words.

“Yeah, I get it.” I admitted quietly and I noticed that his shoulders relaxed slightly at my confirmation that I felt the same. “It sounds like it was a tough call for the two of you. Are you dealing with it okay?” I investigated worriedly and he forced a smile that I could tell was disingenuous as it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I’m fine. Thanks to you, I take responsibility for my decisions now.” He expressed and although I was pleased to hear that my support in the past had played a part in his growth, I couldn’t deny the lingering feeling that his response was inauthentic. I shifted on the spot as I raised a brow at him and moved slightly closer to thoroughly examine him.

“You’d tell me if you weren’t okay, right?” I muttered in a careful tone and I noticed a slight nervous expression cross his face in a split second.

“You know that I would.” He remarked with defensiveness evident in his voice and I could easily identify the annoyance in his expression at my continued doubt. When I still didn’t say anything to indicate that I believed him, he scoffed and fidgeted with frustration. “What do you want me to say? I made the decision to kill those people. It was a shitty choice but I did it. They had Octavia and I knew that they had you somewhere, it came down to killing them or standing by whilst they killed you both. I don’t regret my decision.” He insisted with an abundance of hand gestures as he spoke and I held my hands up in defeat.

“I understand Bellamy, I really do. I’d have done the same thing, I was considering far worse ideas. I’m not judging you for it at all, I swear. I just want to make sure that you aren’t going to walk out of camp one day like Clarke because you’re not really coping.” I explained and his expression finally softened as he met my concerned eyes. He bent into my space and cupped my jaw in his hand in a soothing manner.

“I’m not going anywhere Indie, especially not without you.” He breathed and stroked his thumb along my jaw in a way that made my heart race. “I’m good, I have everything that I need right here.” He confirmed as he inspected me with a contented expression. He gradually leaned closer to press his lips to mine in a kiss that absorbed me into him. As always, I was impressed at his ability to melt all of my fears away with his touch and I allowed myself to be swept away with him.

***

We laid wrapped up together in his bed and I felt as if I were in a state of bliss. I hadn’t expected to be in Bellamy’s quarters again tonight but I secretly harboured a deep relief that he didn’t seem to have immediately lost interest. We chatted comfortably for the evening about the people that we’d lost and Bellamy informed me that Fox had unfortunately been killed when they were all captured. We existed in a strange state of joint reflection as we discussed the events that had occurred back in our original camp and confessed that we’d have done things differently if we’d known that we would become separated. We shared laughter over the memories of better times and comforted each other for our regrets, before the conversation finally returned to current times.

Bellamy positioned himself leaning on the headboard of the bed in a relaxed state, the blankets draped carelessly over his lap with his chest bare and his black mop of hair ruffled. I sat opposite him with the blanket tucked under my arms to provide some coverage and leaned against him with my hip brushing his thigh.

“Kane’s got some radical ideas for camp. Sounds like he wants to reform the guard.” Bellamy stated absentmindedly and I raised my brows at him in surprise.

“I’d almost forgotten what life was like with the guards of the Ark.” I sighed, fidgeting on the spot as I considered the idea. I wasn’t sure how I felt about any of the norms from life on the Ark returning when everything in my life had developed to be vastly different and I wasn’t sure if I could fit back in the stifling society that had once been routine. 

“It’ll be different here. Abby’s a fair chancellor and she seems to respect our opinions.” He reassured me with genuine confidence in the woman who he’d clearly come to know well in our time apart and I met his eyes with concern. “From what I’ve seen Kane listens to her too. That’s more stable leadership than the Ark’s had in years.” He commented and I chuckled under my breath.

“I prefer the original camp leadership.” I smiled coyly at him and he chortled. He reached out to brush my hair behind my ear in a tender motion and I relished the way that he beheld me as if I were a sight that he couldn’t get enough of.

“Kane’s been assigning me jobs and asking for my opinion on things to do with our group.” He relayed in a manner that revealed this was bothering him and I tilted my head at him in interest. “With Clarke gone, he’s treating me like the official spokesperson of the 100.” He added with a hint of bitterness and I brushed a hand on his thigh fondly to draw his attention.

“They look up to you Bel. They always have, even before you saved them from the mountain.” I remarked and my words caused him to sigh deeply. “I know it’s not easy, but you don’t have to take it on. We have leaders from the Ark now, if you want to just be a regular camper from now on, that’s fine. I know I’d be happy to take a step back, yours are big shoes to fill.” I admitted as I recalled my strenuous time as a leader whilst in captivity and he made a sympathetic expression as he observed me.

“You sure about that?” He asked with a sly smile that caused me to watch him with suspicion. “It’s not in your nature to follow orders Love, and I can’t just sit back when things are happening.” He detailed teasingly and I felt a small flutter in my chest at the pet name, but tried not to overreact to it.

“I’d be fine, I don’t need to follow orders to not be in charge.” I pouted defensively and I noticed amusement glittering in his eyes. “Besides, I’m quite content to stay in this little bubble, just the two of us. You’d get bored in no time.” I drawled absentmindedly and hoped that he didn’t notice the pang of vulnerability in my words. He raised a brow at me and sat forward to take my face in his hands.

“You think I'll get bored of following my assigned role all day, staying out of the big decisions and arguments?” He suggested as he stared deeply into my eyes and I nodded lightly. “As long as I can come back to this at night, what am I missing?” He breathed as he pulled us together to meet my lips and sent my head spinning at the adoration that radiated through his kisses. It was almost impossible to be insecure when I was under his gaze and I couldn’t deny the impact of his touch, which seemed to be just as addictive to him as it were to me.

***

Throughout the night my mind was filled with images of Mount Weather and the people that resided there. I was reminded of those whose lives I had ended: the guards in the hall, the guard that I stabbed when chasing the alarms and most vividly, the guard in the hazmat suit. The process of his torture replayed in painful detail in my mind and it was agonising to watch even though they were my own actions. I woke repeatedly in a cold sweat and was relieved that Bellamy seemed to be sleeping too deeply to notice.

By the time that I woke in the morning I was exhausted and bleary eyed. I sat up with a start when I realised that Bellamy was gone and scanned the room in a panic stricken state. My gaze landed on a note on the bed and I snatched it with shaking hands.

KANE SENT FOR ME, DIDN’T WANT TO WAKE YOU. GET SOME REST X

My eyes scanned through the scuff handwriting quickly before I dropped it with a pang of disappointment. I stretched my limbs out with a yawn and could already feel the sharp edges restlessness in my mind urging me forward. Despite my best efforts to return to some sorely needed sleep, the moment that I closed my exhausted eyes my mind was filled with the terrified face of the guard with a screwdriver protruding from his thigh. I bolted out of the bed to find my clothes in a determined stomp to distract myself and rushed to dress, fix my hair and leave the room.

I wandered the camp in search of Octavia but I couldn’t seem to locate her in any of the rooms or dorms. I was directed to her quarters by camper but from what I could tell of the empty space it was practically unused. The courtyard was strangely empty as I stood considering where else I could search when I caught sight of her near the edge of camp. My approach to her was rushed as I found her layering up, seemingly preparing to leave and I caught her arm in a bid to halt her.

“Hey! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” I chirped in an effort to hide the stress that I was feeling and she immediately turned to face me with an obvious scrutiny filling her pretty face.

“What are you doing up? Shouldn’t you still be resting?” She questioned as she scanned me from head to toe in an assessing manner and I felt a brief resemblance of Bellamy in her protective mannerisms.

“I’m fine, Abby cleared me for camp duty. I feel great, I’m ready to get back to normal.” I confirmed and she raised a brow at me in suspicion. “Are you going somewhere?” I asked as I glanced past her to examine the courtyard for any gatherings but I couldn’t see anyone else who seemed to be preparing to leave with her.

“I’m going to meet Lincoln.” She commented with a subtle smile that would have been easily missed by anyone else, but I caught it. It was still strange to see her dressed in full grounded attire and I recognised that her whole demeanour had changed to be more controlled.

“Lincoln’s still around? You must be pleased.” I crooned with a smug expression and she rolled her eyes at me. Although she tried to act cool, I could recognise the familiar playful glimmer in her eyes. “Everything is so different here, even you.” I sighed as I studied her and her firm expression finally softened.

“You missed a lot, I know it can’t be the easiest adjustment.” She stated with a sympathetic smile and I was glad to find that she understood my situation as usual. “But nothing has changed with us. No matter how different I am, you’re still my girl.” She breathed as she punched me gently on the arm and I chuckled under my breath. She seemed thoughtful for a minute as she examined me and I knew that she could probably see through any defences that I tried to raise. “Why don’t you come with me?” She suggested and I raised a brow at her in surprise.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a third wheel to your date.” I remarked with a mischievous smirk and she tried to slap my arm but I dodged, much to her annoyance. 

“It’s not a date, we’re gathering supplies. It’s a long ride, it’ll be a couple of days at least until we’re back. It could be a nice change for us to catch up if you’re up to it?” She enquired as she glanced down at my stomach and I fidgeted under her examination.

“Of course, when do we leave?” I responded keenly and she chuckled as she shook her head.

“I’ve got to finish collecting supplies and get the horses ready, then I’ll be leaving. It should be a simple run but it’s better to be prepared. Get whatever you need and meet me back here.” She commanded and I nodded gratefully in response.

Following her directions, I found my way to the armoury to check out a pistol and dagger. There was an immediate surge of relief as I stowed them in their familiar place on my belt and I felt an anxiety that I hadn’t even noticed settle at the security of the weapons. I collected some extra rations, water and some basic medical supplies just in case. The newfound maturity in Octavia was a welcome change and I was pleased that the grounder culture had clearly taught her not to treat someone as wounded. It was refreshing to have someone trust my judgement about what I was ready for, instead of coddling me as everyone else seemed to be determined to do. I entered Bellamy’s room with an unexpected buzz of excitement for the journey. I anticipated that it would be empty as I returned to collect a warmer undertop and planned to leave a note for Bellamy to avoid his disapproval for my decision to leave. 

Instead, I discovered that he was wandering the space as if he were preparing for something and I stopped in my tracks as he clocked me. I knew that it was impossible to avoid the argument now as he assessed me with a cocked brow and I shifted awkwardly.

“Hey, sorry I ran out earlier, Kane’s got me organising training for the new guard.” He reported as he strode over to place a light kiss on my cheek before returning to scouring the room. I behaved casually as I strolled over to take a long sleeved jersey top and placed it over my vest, wrapping the jacket over the top. “I think he wants to get some of our group trained better too, or at least able to defend themselves. After everything they’ve survived so far, it’s not such an awful idea.” He continued speaking in a relaxed tone and I was relieved that he didn’t seem to have noticed my movements. “Where did you sneak off to?” He purred suddenly and I jumped as he appeared behind me. I was surprised as he pulled me into him until my back met his chest and his arms threaded around my body. His head settled on my shoulder and I gulped nervously.

“I wanted to check on Tavi.” I answered lightly and felt his smile against my cheek. My heart started to beat faster as I considered how to approach the subject of leaving and I felt him stiffen as his hand brushed down to my waist.

“You’re all armed up again.” He commented in a forced tone of calm but I could detect the suspicion in his voice. “I’m glad you’re protected.” He added in a manner that I knew was allowing the opportunity for me to confess and I felt my stomach lurch with guilt. I sighed deeply and felt an immediate change in his demeanour at my avoidant gesture. “Going somewhere?” He interrogated and I flinched at the disappointment in his tone.

“Octavia asked if I wanted to join her for a supply run.” I admitted quietly and I heard him scoff in annoyance. I stepped out of his embrace with a strong feeling of dread and turned to face him.

“You can’t seriously be considering it?” He breathed in disbelief and I shrugged at him avoidantly. “Indie, you had surgery a few days ago, do you really think you should be leaving camp?” He exclaimed in an exasperated tone and I peeked up at him guiltily.

“Come on Bel, I’m fine! I can’t just stay cooped up in here forever whilst everyone else works. I need to pull my weight.” I argued and he rolled his eyes at me with a long enduring aggravation. “Besides, it gives me a chance to catch up with her. I thought I lost her too, we could do with some time to reconnect.” I appealed in a desperate bid to gain his understanding and his expression finally softened from anger to concern.

“You couldn’t do that inside camp?” He suggested with a sulky frown and I smiled warmly at him. “I just got you back.” He whispered as his brows furrowed together in worry and I reached up to cup his face.

“It’s only a couple of days, I’ll be right back with you.” I promised with a reassuring tone but it didn’t seem to provide any relief. He continued to stare back at me with something in his eyes that revealed he had resigned himself to my leaving but he was visibly upset by this.

“I know better than to tell you what to do, especially if it involves my little sister. If I say no you’ll just sneak out.” He stated and I giggled at the huffy tone in his voice. “Be careful and don’t stay away too long.” He pleaded in a terrified voice and I smiled thankfully at him.

***

It took some considerable time to extract myself from Bellamy’s room and I suspected that he was purposely tempting me to stay. By the time I stepped outside, Octavia was waiting for me near the gates with the horses. I noticed that the camp was mostly empty and I wondered if she had purposely chosen a time when everyone was busy so that we could sneak away. I moved to stride out of the cover of the small buildings into the courtyard when something caught my arm and I whirled around to find Bellamy observing me with a deviant smile.

“Here, I snuck this out for you, hopefully you won’t need it.” He encouraged me back into cover and out of sight as he handed me a folded up shock baton. I regarded him sceptically and instead of waiting for me to accept, he tucked it into my pocket for me. I rolled my eyes at his protectiveness but I couldn’t deny that a small part of me enjoyed it.

“Couldn’t you get in trouble for that? I can’t imagine they have many of those left.” I enquired with pursed lips and he shrugged carelessly at me. I chuckled lightly at his attitude, causing him to perceive me with an expression of enamoured wonder. The fear that he struggled to hide was obvious in his eyes and I attempted to lighten the mood between us. “You won’t even notice I’m gone, you have guards to train.” I remarked playfully but he maintained the seriousness of his look. Instead of playing along with my comments, he took my face in both hands and stared intensely into my eyes.

“I’ll notice.” He asserted before guiding me close to him and planting a lingering kiss on my lips. One of his hands threaded into my hair whilst the other rested comfortably on my hip. I couldn’t help drifting into him and I felt his indulgent smile through the kiss. It was impossible to retain any focus whilst my senses were lost in him and I noticed that all feelings of urgency faded away. It was cruelly tempting to remain with him and I knew that he was carefully measuring every addictive connection of ours lips to make me reconsider. I tried to force myself to step away but my body wasn’t responding as I remained magnetised to the spot. I felt the all too familiar flutter in my chest and started to get light headed from the thrill. Eventually, I managed to tear myself from him and he groaned in disappointment as we separated. 

“I have to go.” I stated breathily and he viewed me through aroused eyes. I bit my lip in an attempt to control the temptation and I knew that he had noticed it. There was a clear smugness in the way that he observed me and I knew that he was proud to have this uncontrollable effect on me.

“Do you have to?” He suggested in a low voice and I sighed as I glanced at him with an amused expression. It was a constant internal battle to remind myself that I could come back to his bed any time and he knew that my commitment to this mission was wavering.

“I’ll see you in a few days.” I muttered as I stepped away from him hesitantly and moved into the open part of camp before he could take any more extreme measures.

Although we’d been mostly hidden from view, it was evident from the moment that I set eyes on Octavia that she had been able to see us together from where she stood. She crossed her arms and examined me with a smug expression. I strained not to blush as I shuffled over to her awkwardly. I willed myself not to glance back over my shoulder as I noticed that her suggestive smile was now directed behind me and I knew in my gut that Bellamy was still observing me. I approached the horse nervously as I realised that I would have to be careful in mounting it; if I showed any hint of struggle I knew that Bellamy would rush over to insist that I wasn’t well enough.

“All set?” Octavia asked and I knew from the tone that she spoke in that she understood my dilemma. She glimpsed between me and the horse with a knowing look and I cleared my throat awkwardly.

“Yep.” I asserted with a forced tone of confidence and she wandered over in a relaxed movement to assist me. 

It was a challenge to behave as if this were normal when I honestly had no idea how to mount a horse, without adding the stress of the still healing bullet wound. Thankfully Octavia knew exactly what she was doing and between us I managed to get into position. She gave me a crash course on riding and I was appreciative of the information, even if I felt immensely under-prepared to actually use it. There was the twinkle of a proud smile on her lips before she moved to climb onto her own horse and I could feel Bellamy’s eyes burning into the back of my head.

Now that I was settled safely in place I risked glancing back, only to find him watching me with a painful concern. His posture was incredibly tense, as if it was taking every last drop of self control for him not to intervene. Octavia appeared beside me on her horse and her eyes followed my line of sight to Bellamy. She raised a brow at his worried demeanour before returning her smug face to me.

“You sure you’ve wrapped things up here?” She crooned as she indicated back to him and I kicked myself as I felt my cheeks burning at her insinuation.

“Let’s go.” I uttered coldly and she chuckled at me with a relaxed nature that I hadn’t seen in her since we reunited. “Take it slow for me.” I requested quietly and she nodded in acknowledgement.

Now that I was faced with it, the prospect of spending two days on a horse caused nerves to pool in my stomach as I worried that my body might not manage the exertion. It was more strenuous than I’d imagined to even just keep my balance and the last thing that I wanted to do was fall off before I’d even left Bellamy’s sight. We moved slowly out of camp and into the open fields. 

Once we were out of his anxious view I started to feel relaxed. I enjoyed the feeling of the wind in my hair, the vivid smells of the forest and it felt like a dream to be gently trotting side by side with my best friend. I peeked over at her sitting on the horse with a well practised posture, her beautiful brunette locks neatly plaited with only the middle of her mane loosely draped over her shoulders. It was obvious to me how much she’d grown in the brief time that we’d been apart and I reflected on the strangeness of the result that meeting Lincoln had actually improved her. As I considered the unexpected nature of their relationship, she sighed thoughtfully and I could tell from her face that she was also reflecting. She cleared her throat before bringing her eyes to mine with a tiny hint of playfulness glinting there.

“Back in the Skybox I never would have imagined I’d see the day where you were banging my brother.” She remarked smugly and I cringed at the frankness of her words. All of my previous thoughts on her maturity and carefully controlled facade dissolved at her familiarly prying eyes.

“Don’t make it weird.” I drawled as I scrunched my nose into a grimace and tried not to consider the poignancy of her statement.  She scoffed at me loudly and I could tell that she genuinely enjoyed having witnessed us kiss so that she could torture me.

“It’s already weird.” She commented and I shrugged in agreement. If I was honest, it’s not something I could ever have predicted back when it was just the two of us in our cells, but now that it had happened it seemed natural. “But honestly, it’s about time. You make each other smile, that’s good enough for me.” She confirmed with a heartfelt smile and I felt tears prickling my eyes. 

“Thanks babe.” I breathed as I quickly wiped them away and fixed her with a mischievous smile. “So, is Lincoln still making you smile?” I spoke suggestively and winked at her. I was delighted to earn a snort of laughter in response and it caused a warm wave of nostalgia to wash over me. 

“Fair enough.” She conceded as she met my eyes with amusement. “I guess I wouldn’t ever have seen myself with a grounder either.” She admitted with a far away gaze. “Shit’s been crazy since we got down here.” She added in a reflective tone and I hummed in agreement.

“You can say that again.” I muttered as I considered all that had happened in our time here. “We’ve lost a lot of people.” I declared as numerous faces flashed through my mind and I noticed her analysing me with concern.

“We’ve kept a lot alive too.” She acknowledged and I sighed in response. 

We trotted along in silence for a while, both lost to our thoughts and I was content to simply enjoy her presence. I reminded myself what I would have given for this kind of experience three weeks ago and tried to keep my attention in the moment so that I could treat it with the appreciation that it deserved. The sun dappled through the trees, casting Octavia in a beautiful, soft light and I felt my heart swell at her relaxed smile. It was a relief to discover that she was happy, despite everything we’d endured and I felt a strange sense of completion as I realised that I couldn’t think of anything else I could need in my life now. I followed her lead quietly and after some time I became aware of how strange it felt to simply follow her.

“You seem to know exactly where you’re going.” I stated an almost question and she surveyed me with a thoughtful look.

“I spent a lot of time out here with the grounders.” She revealed as she easily understood what I was getting at and I raised my brows at her. “Like I said, you missed a lot.” She added with a softer expression as she had to concentrate on relaxing her newly cold attitude and I sighed.

“Yeah, it seems like it. Everyone’s different, we’re in a camp that feels uncomfortably like the Ark and there are people gone who I have no idea how they died.” I detailed as I peeked over at her in frustration. “It feels like we don’t belong in this camp any more. So much has happened and none of you will discuss it.” I expressed with an honesty that I could only release around her and she sighed deeply.

“It’s hard for anyone to talk about, just like your experiences in Mount Weather. It was a bad time for everyone.” She explained and I nodded in acknowledgement. I could tell that she was contemplating what she could recount and I waited patiently for her to speak. “For me, you know I’ve been interested in the grounders' ways since I met Lincoln. It wasn’t intentional for me to join them, but the mountain took Lincoln and our camp was taking too long to act to save you all. So I tried to prove myself to his clan to get help.” She divulged as if it were the most obvious conclusion and I stared back at her in disbelief.

“Jesus Tavi, that was ballsy.” I gasped as I widened my eyes in horror at this idea. “How did that go?” I enquired with interest and was pleased that I hadn’t been around to witness this process.

“It was tough.” She admitted with a deep sigh and I found myself wondering exactly what she’d endured to succeed. “I had to take a lot of risks to prove that I was worth their time. Once I did though Indra took me on as her second and I joined Trikru.” She stated in an even tone and I struggled to process her words. The last time I’d seen a grounder they were breaking through our walls to murder us and the idea that Octavia was a part of any clan just didn’t fit with this memory. 

“You’re part of a grounder clan?” I grilled as I tried to wrap my head around the idea and struggled to remain neutral to her explanations. 

“I was.” She answered cryptically and I studied her with an ever growing confusion. “I learned so much from them. Indie, their ways are wiser and more balanced than anything we’ve ever had on the Ark. They have me a purpose, they let me prove myself based on my skill and they didn’t coddle me.” She explained with a heartfelt tone to her voice and I sighed in an effort to prevent myself from becoming defensive.

“I can see why you’d be attracted to that.” I admitted as I glanced around awkwardly and compared these statements to everything she had told me of her upbringing. If this was true, I could entirely understand why these kinds of methods would allow her to grow in the manner that she had, but I was still conflicted at the fact that this had happened under a grounder’s guidance. “How did you get a whole clan of the force that wants to wipe us out to take you in?” I probed as I analysed this information and found myself displaying an impressed smile.

“Earned their respect.” She confirmed in a vague statement and I examined her with a newfound pride as I appreciated the strength that she’d cultivated despite such difficult times. “Besides, it wasn’t a problem for too long. Clarke managed to form an alliance with the commander.” Octavia revealed and I felt my mouth drop open in shock at the absurdity of the statement.

“Anya? But I tried to kill her?” I questioned in a stutter and my panic caused a light chuckle from Octavia.

“Anya wasn’t the commander, she just led the unit whose territory we were in. And don’t worry about attacking her, the guards already shot her to death. Fucking idiots.” She grumbled under her breath and I was unsure how I felt about this discovery. “The grounder forces are larger than we ever imagined. The commander's name is Lexa, she’s extreme but not completely unreasonable. Clarke arranged a meeting and although there were sacrifices we had to make, she managed to secure an alliance to attack the mountain.” She relayed and I found my attention riveted to her as she recounted the events that I had missed. I could hardly comprehend the idea of an alliance and the fact that Clarke had apparently successfully secured one was blowing my mind. We rode in silence for a few moments as I processed the new information and I hesitantly questioned part of her statement.

“What kind of sacrifices?” I asked nervously and her gaze snapped to me with surprise. She sighed deeply at me as she considered her words and I awaited her answer with a building sense of dread.

“We had to hand over Finn.” She divulged as she kept her gaze from mine and I could tell that she was avoiding my prying eyes. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable with the fact that she had to explain this and I could hardly keep my disgust from my face.

“What?! Why? What could they possibly want from Finn? He was the biggest advocate for peace!” I exclaimed in a burst of rage and she flinched at the outrage in my tone. She bit her lip in consideration and stared out across the forest thoughtfully. My chest burned with anger as my mind frantically ran through any scenarios where this would be an acceptable outcome and instead found myself wondering how on earth Clarke could have agreed to such terms.

“He slaughtered an entire village of grounders Indie, innocent women and children included.” She revealed and my mouth dropped open in shock yet again. She fidgeted with the reins uncomfortably as I gaped at her and tried to fit her words into the image of the peace advocating, mediating person who I’d known. “He wasn’t the same person that you remember. Losing Clarke broke him, he did some terrible things to find her. Even Bellamy couldn’t stop him. We tried to find another way to compromise but Lexa considered it a war crime. They were about to declare war on us again and Finn snuck out to hand himself over. We couldn’t stop it.” She detailed with a far away look and I could hardly believe what I was hearing. 

It was difficult to comprehend the unexpected changes in the gentle Finn who I’d grown to respect and there was a wave of sadness that hit me as I considered that his decisions would forever change the perception we all had of him. I was struck by the realisation that this could just as easily have been Bellamy and I felt a surge of pride in the person that he’d become whilst searching for us. I reflected on the situation and compared the actions that I had taken inside Mount Weather to those that Finn had been held accountable for and wondered if I would be considered a war criminal too. 

“How did he die?” I questioned in a quiet voice as my stomach churned in dread and Octavia sighed reluctantly.

“The grounders wanted to punish him for every life he took, that’s their way. The army set up a public execution stage right in front of our camp. He would have suffered all night.” She began and I couldn’t contain my feelings longer.

“That’s barbaric!” I gasped as the mental image formed in my mind and I had to physically shake my head to remove it.

“I know it’s hard to accept because it’s Finn, but what he did was awful. The punishment was for an extreme crime Indie. You might not agree with it, but they did what they would to anyone who killed that many innocent people.” She explained and I had to swallow my disagreements. “Even so, none of us could stand to see him go through that. So Clarke stabbed him when she pretended to be saying goodbye.” She explained and I felt my hands shaking as I absorbed this. I felt an immense guilt for the way that I’d treated Clarke for all of this time as I imagined how agonising this situation must have been for her. I wasn’t sure that I could’ve done the same if it was Bellamy and I acknowledged the incredible strength that it must have taken to provide such a mercy.

“Shit.” I whispered with a heavy feeling in my chest and Octavia hummed in response. “No wonder Clarke needed time. I hope she’s okay.” I admitted with a deep feeling of remorse and she nodded in agreement.

[hotchscotchh]

Reimagined; Chapter 12 - Arthur Rykov

This time it feels like an ending and it kind of is. This will be the last chapter before the epilogue! I want to get sappy, but I’ll save it for the next chapter. I have ideas for my next multi-chapter fic, but I think I want to do a rewrite of this first. I love the storyline, but the first few chapters are…. Not Good. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Summary: I told you I have a soft spot for team finds out fics…

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid

Warnings: ANGST, fluff, mentions of NSFW

Word count: 2.1k

Chapter 11 —— epilogue

Read on AO3

Based on 8x3 Through the Looking Glass

Spencer had thought this case would be hard on Aaron, but it turns out it was worse for himself. He was the one who had to sit through the closing interview with the Acklin’s. He had to hear every single detail of what happened to them. He had to sift through every single one of their insecurities and wrong doings. Analyze why the unsub had chosen this family based on their specific “sins.” The thought of their actions being referred to as sins was what was hurting him the most. He knew, reasonably, that Tobias Hankel had kidnapped him as a kind of victim of opportunity and because Spencer was and is an FBI agent, but he’s always wondered if there was some way for some people to see your sins written on you. He knows he isn’t a sinner (he doesn’t believe in God, how can he be?), but sometimes irrational thoughts even get the best of geniuses.

The so called “sin” that held the most weight on him was institutionalizing his mother. He would never forgive himself for the way things went when it happened. He knew it needed to be done, that it was what was best for her. He couldn’t take care of her, and she couldn’t take care of herself. He will always feel selfish for it, though. For the way he just had the men from the Bennington invade her home and take her from it. He should’ve told her it was happening. Given her some kind of warning. But who knows if that would have been any better? It was too late to do anything to change it now.

Aaron noticed on the jet ride home that Spencer was much quieter and more reserved than usual (meaning he just wasn’t talking at all). They hadn’t told the team yet and Aaron knew he couldn’t just scoop the young man into his arms right now and try to make it all better, so he settled into the chair next to Spencer, handing him a book to at least give his hands something to do, and settling a firm hand on Spencer’s knee under the table.

They stayed silent the entire ride home and until they made it to the car. Aaron had told the team to go home and not come in the next day just before deplaning, so they were set to go home. So far, no one had questioned their sudden carpooling. No one had mentioned seeing anything at JJ’s wedding. Aaron couldn’t help but wonder if they knew more than they were letting on.

Once both were seated in the car, Aaron reached over and pulled Spencer into an awkward hug over the center console. Spencer immediately buried his face in Aaron’s neck and hugged him back, his arms slipping up underneath Aaron’s armpits.

“Thank you,” he managed to get out, though it sounded hoarse.

“Jack is still with Jessica. Do you need a meeting, or do you just want to order dinner and go home?” Aaron asked, softly.

Spencer sniffed and pulled back. “Home, please.” They’d been back together for almost five months now, and Spencer had almost completely moved into Aaron’s recently bought house. He’d started bonding with Jack, something he’d never had a chance to do before.

Aaron nodded and decided not to bring up what was wrong until they got there. After driving for a few minutes, Aaron thought he would try and bring up something he had been thinking about for a while now, something that might take Spencer’s mind off of whatever was going on up in that big brain of his. “Do you want to tell the team? About us?”

Spencer looked over at him before smiling and turning back to look at his hands which were neatly folded in his lap. “Alex knows. She asked about it just before the case in Seattle; I wasn’t going to lie to her. She’d have seen right through it anyway. I don’t think anyone is going to be upset. Maybe we could have a team dinner and make the announcement away from work.”

Aaron was taken aback. He wasn’t surprised that Blake knew, she had known the both of them for a long time, but he was surprised and how much it seemed Spencer had thought about this already. “Okay, that sounds good. I’ll call everyone in the morning and see if they’re free tomorrow night. We can sleep in and still have time to go grocery shopping. I don’t know about you, but I’m anxious to get this over with.”

Spencer nodded. “Thai?” he asked, grinning and already punching the number into his phone.

----

After they had eaten, Aaron put some home improvement show on the TV, but neither of them were really paying attention. Spencer had curled into Aaron’s’ side, his hand soon finding the younger man’s hair. “Do you want to tell me what’s bothering you, babe?”

Spencer sighed. “Just feeling guilty, I guess. About my mom. I know I had to do it, but that doesn’t stop the guilt.”

Aaron wasn’t sure what he could say to make Spencer feel better, so he changed the course of the conversation a little. “Does she know about us?” He felt Spencer nod into his side. “I’d love to meet her someday.”

Spencer sat up and moved his had to Aaron’s cheek. He had a look on his face that Aaron had never seen before. “I’d love for you to meet her. I think she’d love you. I know I do,” he answered, placing a soft kiss on Aaron’s lips.

----

The next morning found them making breakfast together after a satisfying round of shower sex. Spencer was leaning back against the island watching Aaron begin to crack eggs into a frying pan. “Aaron, why don’t you go start calling the team? I’ll watch the eggs.” Aaron turned around and kissed Spencer before handing him the spatula, nodding, and walking off to find his phone.

Two miraculous things happened that morning. One: Spencer didn’t burn the eggs. Two: all of the team members were available, and they all offered to bring drinks, deserts, sides, etc., meaning Aaron and Spencer only had to worry about setting up the back yard and getting meat. They had to pick up Jack at 11, so they left at 10 to run to the grocery store, giving them plenty of time.

Arriving to pick Jack up, no matter where he was staying, was always an ordeal. Today, he burst through Jessica’s front door before the pair could even fully get out of the car. “Dad! Spence! I missed you!”

Spencer reached him first, crouching down and accepting Jack’s hug. “Hi, Jack! I missed you too!”

He quickly moved away from Spencer and over to his father, repeating the ritual. “Okay, Jack, let’s go say goodbye to Aunt Jess and get going,” Aaron said, anxious to start setting things up. The family made their way to Jessica’s door where she stood waiting. They kept their interaction brief today, mostly consisting of thank yous and I love yous. Aaron was glad he didn’t have to hide his relationship from Jack and Jessica. They had been very open about everything from the beginning. When it was time to leave, Aaron pushed Jack and Spencer towards the car to have a moment alone with Jessica.

“Thank you again, Jess. For watching Jack and for supporting our relationship. Having your support means a lot to me. I wanted to let you know we’re telling the team tonight.”

Jessica gave a sad smile. “Of course you’d have my support Aaron. And don’t be anxious about the team. They’ll be happy that you’re happy,” she finished, pulling Aaron into a strong hug.

----

Five o’clock found Spencer and Aaron rushing to set a few last-minute things up, working around an overly excited Jack. Spencer stopped in the middle of setting out plates on the table. He wiped a hand down his face.

“Aaron,” he called out. “I need a minute. I’ll be inside.”

Aaron was working at the grill, making sure the propane was full and turned on, but stopped and turned when Spencer started speaking. “Okay, Spence.” Aaron wasn’t sure what was wrong, but seeing his lover running inside his house looking like he was about to pass out wasn’t something he could ignore.

He made his way inside. “Spencer?” he called out, closing the door behind him and making his way towards the living room. There he found Spencer sitting on the edge of the couch, his head in his hands, Jack’s pleas of “Spence, what’s wrong?” being answered only with “not right now, Jack.”

“Jack, why don’t you go play in your room for a little bit? I’ll come get you soon,” Aaron said quietly, pushing Jack towards the doorway. Jack nodded and walked off, the concerned look not leaving his face. Aaron came back to Spencer, kneeling on the floor in front of him and peeling his hands away from his face to reveal tear-stained cheeks. “Oh, baby, what’s going on?”

Spencer sniffed and let out a laugh that probably (definitely) made him sound a little hysterical. “I, uh, I don’t know. Just nervous, I guess. It’s irrational. They all probably already know anyway, they’re profilers for fuck’s sake. Why the hell am I so nervous?” Spencer stood up then, his hands rising to his temples as he paced the room. Aaron moved to sit on the couch.

“How are we going to do this?” Aaron asked. They hadn’t talked about it yet. “Do you want to make a formal announcement, or just, I don’t know, maybe act like we usually do around each other and see how long it takes for someone to say something?”

Thinking rationally always calmed Spencer down, even if only for a little while. He stopped pacing and sat on the couch next to Aaron. “Both? How about we just act normally until we sit down for dinner and make some kind of announcement then?”

Aaron smiled. “That sounds good, baby. Why don’t you go get Jack and we’ll finish setting up? They’ll be here soon.”

----

Six o’clock had them sitting down for dinner. Everyone had arrived all around the same time. Spencer and Jack stayed at the door to greet them while Aaron stayed in the backyard, working on the meat. So far, the pair had been using each other’s first names, giving casual touches. No one had questioned that yet. Nor had they questioned Spencer greeting them at the door, which led him to the conclusion that they all knew.

Sitting down, though, knowing what announcement they were about to make, his hands were shaking. They decided Spencer should be the one to tell them, as some people could claim that Aaron holding Spencer’s job over him. They knew the team would never do that, but Spencer couldn’t help being anxious over it.

Everyone had gotten their plates and settled into casual conversation. Spencer cleared his throat and started, “Um, everyone, I’d like to say something.” He paused, waiting for the chatter to die down and everyone to turn their attention towards him. “I, uh, I’m pretty sure you all know this already, but, um, well, Aaron and I are in a relationship,” he finally managed to stutter out.

There was radio silence for a few moments before Rossi started laughing. “Did you think you were being subtle about it?”

JJ spoke up after that. “Yeah, we all know, Spence. We’re not mad, we’re glad the two of you are happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the pair of you smile as much as you have in the past few months. Has it been going on longer than that?”

Spencer took a few moments to process that before settling back into his seat and leaning into Aaron, smiling. “Well, technically yes. We had a, uh, fling I guess, a few years ago. Before… everything.”

Everyone but Rossi and Morgan looked surprised at that. “Spencer Reid?” Garcia piped up, giggling. “A fling?” Everyone burst into laughter after that, the small amount of tension in the air quickly diffusing.

The night went on as every team dinner did, laughing and horsing around. Talking about anything that didn’t have to do with work. When it came time for everyone to leave, Morgan pulled Spencer off to the side. “I’m proud of you, man. You deserve this. Happiness. But I’ve been missing our guy time!”

“Thank you, Morgan. I don’t think you understand how much I appreciate your support,” Spencer answered, a grin on his face. “I’ll come over this weekend, case permitting, of course.”

That night, when the family of three were alone again, cuddled on the couch watching some Disney movie that Jack liked, Spencer realized that he didn’t think he could ever be happier.

Taglist: @wheelsup @endingsbeginnings

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #279

“she could kill you with a wink of her eye.”

Have you ever met a guy for coffee? No, I don’t like coffee. Do you feed your leftovers to your dogs? I don’t currently have any dogs, but when I did, it was very rare and (almost) only if he wasn’t begging for it. The only exception was chicken nuggets; Teddy loved him some chicken nuggets, holy shit. That and peanut butter he would always get so excited about. What tricks does your pet do? Neither my cat nor obviously my snake know any tricks. Do you believe in psychics? No. When you hear the name “Ginger” what do you think of? Jason’s fatass beagle. I wonder how she is a lot, she was a darling. What is the worst damage that your car has seen? N/A What was the last thing that annoyed you? Probably my chronic boredom. :’) How would your parents react if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant)? Both would be extremely confused seeing as I’m not with a guy and absolutely do not want kids. Have you ever had a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend’s mom or dad? Nope. Are you afraid of frogs? No, they’re Good. How would you react if a complete stranger complimented you? It depends on the compliment and how it’s delivered. If you sound genuine and it’s not creepy, it’s honestly really flattering and sweet, though I get really shy. Who was the last person to make you cry? Myself, technically, thinking too much about he who I shouldn’t, y’know. Do you have Facebook? I do. How would you react if you found out your crush had a terminal disease? God, I don’t want to think about this. I’d be absolutely crushed. Do you eat applesauce? I don’t go out of my way to get some, but sure, I like applesauce. What was the last pill you took for? It was one of my mood stabilizers. Are you in the hospital a lot? No, thankfully. What is your dentist’s first name, if you know it? I have no clue. Have you ever walked on the beach at night? Yes. Does your mother have any sisters? One. Do you read poetry/make it? I don’t really read it anymore, but once in five blue moons I’ll write one if I’m really inspired. Have you ever had braces? Yes, for way too long because we couldn’t afford to take them off. I think it’s why one of my bottom front teeth is angled back a bit. Your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? My parents are divorced and I live(d) with my mom. Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere else? To Mom, yes. My sisters and I were going to visit Dad and it was just easier back then to make something else up. Are you afraid of lifts? Elevators? Yes. Not terribly, but I’m not a fan. Who did you last talk to in person? Is that person attractive? My “other mom” Tobey; she brought me some groceries while Mom’s away. She’s Mom’s age though so no, I’m not attracted to her. She’s like family. Have you ever had a deep, personal conversation with a stranger? I mean, isn’t that therapy at first? lmao Let’s talk about the person you had your first kiss with. Do you still talk to that person? If so, do you still like them? Would you kiss them again? No; no, I like his memory; I fucking hope not. How many times have you cried over the person you love/like? A couple times. When was the last time you wanted to cry, but didn’t, because you didn’t want to show that you were upset? Why? I’m really not sure. What are three things that are guaranteed to make you smile, or put you in a good mood? Going on a car ride with me in shotgun to blare my music; seeing Mark laugh oh my FUCKING god; and seeing meerkats being cute. What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? Nothing. What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected? My first teletherapy appointment. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? Chicken of some sort is very, very common. What was the last thing you changed your mind about? Ummm… good question. I know I have done this recently, I just can’t remember it… Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else’s dreams? Jason is practically a staple. Mom is there a lot. And sure, doesn’t everyone? Instead of flat earth, what do you think of the simulated earth theory, that we’re basically all just a giant computer program or virtual reality? I think it’s possible, there really is some convincing evidence, but I lean more towards not believing it. What worries you most about your future? What the fuck I’m doing with my life. What is something you do to feel better when you’re scared? Deep breathing. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? Mom, and sure. When was the last time you shared a secret with someone, and how did they react? I’m not sure. Are you more likely to give advice or to ask for it? Give. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? OH MY GOD, SUDDEN MEMORY. There was this book we read in elementary school about this kid who made everything he touched turn to chocolate and it was fuckin wild. Do you prefer to watch movies or tv alone or with other people? Is there anything you refuse to watch alone? Oh, absolutely with someone. Y’all know I don’t enjoy TV that much anyway. What was the subject of the last video you watched? I’m watching the VOD on-and-off of a WoW streamer I like. Who taught you the most valuable lesson in life and what was that lesson? Jason. Don’t let anyone but yourself become your main source of happiness and worth. Have you got perfect vision? Hell no. I’ve got glasses for a good reason. What colour is the door to your house? White. Would you prefer a pet rat, mouse, snake, lizard or spider? Snake. <3 Are you a good liar (tell the truth this time)? Yes. Do you like the smell of a barbecue or bonfire? Yeah, even though I hate barbecue itself. Do you think rainbows are pretty or overrated? Who the fuck thinks they’re “overrated”??? Rainbows are gorgeous. I think we can all agree on that. Are you more skeptical or gullible? Skeptical. How often do you drink sodas or fizzy drinks? LOLOL I DO NOT WANT TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION. Has anyone ever called you apathetic or unemotional? Considering I’m the polar opposite, no. Prefer being in control in a team environment, helping out, or taking orders? Help out. Do you like carrot cake? GIRL yes. Do you view animals as being just as important as people? Why or why not? Yes, because we have no greater right than them to be here. Hell, they’re probably more deserving with humanity’s selfishness. I’m aware as a meat eater there’s some hypocrisy here, buuut still in my heart I see them as just as valuable. What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? She made an absolutely infuriating, false assumption of my mother. Is there a situation or person you haven’t been able to get over/forgive? I’ve forgiven him. Forgetting’s a different story. What are you like during arguments? Regardless of the topic or severity, I will absolutely be fumbling over my words, stuttering, and find eye contact difficult. It’s definitely not rare that I’ll be crying. Where do you like to be kissed? WELL this depends on the mood y’know. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel? I dunno, both can be very hard. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? It’s petty and I’d rather not give it the time of day. But I still am kind of angry, though I shouldn’t be. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? Why is this so oddly specific lol. But anyway, Mom, and that I love her. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? The one I trust the most. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them one hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or why not? No, because she was miserable. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? I don’t know. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? Sara. Her friendship means a fucking lot to me. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? Yesterday to my mom. Are you old fashioned? HA, definitely not. Have you ever gone up to a car thinking it was yours and tried to get in it? Oh my god yes. What’s your most irrational fear? There are plenty of them that I have. Whale sharks lmao. Musicals: yay or nay? I can’t help it, they’re always cheesy to me. Do you play the games on MySpace/Facebook? No. When was the last time you were sunburnt? A few years ago when I went to the beach with Colleen and her fam. It was actually to the point of being sun poisoning. No words for how painful that shit was. How many times have you re-pierced a piercing yourself? Never have, never would. I’m trusting a professional with that. What’s your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne, of course. :’) How often do you pray? Never. Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Yeah. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collarbone? I already have one but am getting it covered with something else eventually. It just doesn’t really apply to me. Do you wake up cranky? Not usually; I’m usually in my best mood in the morning. Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? No. Who was the last person to hold your hand? I don’t recall. What do you miss most about your ex? Define which ex. Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Yeah. Do you and your last ex hate each other? We’re best friends lmao. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes. Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? Absolutely typing on the computer. I make typos while texting too much. Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? Probably. Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yes If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? Nooooo no no. Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? I’ve heard small stories about past relationships. Do you know anyone that’s gotten an abortion before? Yes. Have you ever been arrested? No. Who’s the last person that gave you roses? Tyler. Who’s the last guy you texted? My dad. What about the last girl? Sara. When was your first real relationship? From age 15 to 19-ish. Have you ever cried over an ex? I have PTSD stemming from one of them so guess lmao. Do you ever think about your ex and cry? ^ Have you ever cussed someone out? I remember one occasion at my sister’s stupid fucking ex. What’s the most trouble you’ve ever gotten in with your parents? Hm, not sure. Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? No. Do you have a lot of secrets? Not really. Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend? No. Have you ever told someone’s deep, dark secret? No. “Your secret it safe with me” is something I’m hardcore about. Have you ever pushed someone into a pool? I don’t think so, no. Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what’s in it? No. Have you ever you shop lifted? No. What state (or country) do you live in? North Carolina. Are you listening to music right now? Yes; 3TEETH's cover of "Pumped Up Kicks." I have fallen in LOVE with them. What is your newest favorite website? I don’t think I’ve really had a “new” favorite website in like eons. Do you have embarrassing memories of stupid things you've done? You have no fucking idea. I still remember things that embarrassed me in pre-k. What was the last thing you cooked on the stove? Scrambled eggs, I’m sure. What color Christmas tree do you want when you have a house someday? BLACK. BLACK WITH FAUX SNOW. How fucking gorgeous would that be??? Have you ever had to use an epi pen? No. Do you know the names of 3 of your neighbors? No. I only know the name of one. What was the last thing you cooked that you burnt or cooked for too long? I’m unsure. If you could have a car in any color, which color would you choose? ANY color? Pink. What was the last grocery store you shopped at? Walmart. What was the last type of milk you drank? 2%. Do you plan to vote in the next election? Yes. I believe silence speaks for the evil in situations like this, and I’m done doing that. Thooouuugh I gotta educate myself on the candidates… What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing. What is the last thing you charged? My laptop. Who was the last person to upload a picture with you in it? I don’t know, been a long time. Do you like peas? NOOOOOOOOO. It’s funny, according to Mom, I loooved peas as a baby, but now I’m just like… can’t relate. Do you ever wear sleep masks when you sleep or shower caps when you shower? No. Which friend are you most similar to? Sara and I are very similar. Your ex calls wanting to hang out. What do you say? Well Sara is many states away so like,,,, we can’t unless I wanna buy a plane ticket lmao. If it was Jason, I pretty much know I’d say yes like a fucking idiot. If it was Girt, it’d be a yeah, we haven’t hung out in forever. Do you have alcohol in your house? No. Have you or anyone you know been to rehab? I’m sure someone has. Have you ever swung on a tire swing? I think I have at least once. What’s a discontinued product you wish they still made? Damn, I know there are some, but they’re not coming to me. Have you ever been involved in Facebook drama? Yes. Actually told a motherfucker off a few days back that claimed there was “something wrong” with Breonna Taylor and her death was justifiable. I. Went. The fuck. Off. Then everyone joined in. :D Do you have anything against women who choose to be stay-at-home-mothers? No?????? The fuck?????????? Have you ever kissed someone with a beard? Not a lengthy one. What gaming consoles do you own? PS2, Wii, GameBoy Advance, Nintendo DS Lite, my laptop, and uhhh I think that’s it. Have you ever been so sick you had to be taken to the hospital? Well, mentally sick. Do you know any lesbian couples? Yes. Did your parents monitor your internet usage when you were a teen? Yes. Well, Mom did. Is there anything in the USB key slots in your computer/laptop? Yes, the thing that communicates with my wireless mouse. What advertisements are on your screen at the moment? None. Was there ever a time when you felt absolutely terrified? If so, why? I can’t describe how terrified I was the night of the breakup. It felt so unreal, and I was so certain my life was over. Then there was an occasion where my dad picked my sister and me up from school and he was in an AWFUL mood; he was speeding like a motherfucker and running red lights. I absolutely thought a we were going to get in a wreck or die. Then I have anxiety and have experienced panic attacks, so… guess lmao. Who’s one person who changed how you viewed something? One of the most profound in my life is actually Rhett and Link as well as Hannah Hart. When I started watching GMM, I was actually still homophobic, but gradually I started to ship the fuck out of those angel boys despite it. I started questioning my viewpoint, and finally, on their podcast where Hannah was the guest, telling her personal LGBT story, it just clicked how disgustingly wrong I was. When was the last time you went to a bar? I’ve never been to one. Why did you last see the doctor? I’m going to assume you mean a doctor for physical reasons, in which case I went in to talk about if I qualified for a sleep study regarding my nightmares, only to be told that because my actual doctor was absent, she could do nothing. Sooo Mom and I walked in pretty much just to pay someone to say “wait.” How do you spend the majority of your free time? Something on the computer, I’m sure. Lately, what I’ve been doing most is playing WoW while watching/listening to something. List the cards in your wallet. I don’t care enough to look. Not a lot. What was the last thing to inspire you? Ummm idk. How has COVID affected you? It really hasn’t, other than giving me anxiety regarding my mom as she is in the “of most concern” demographic, if you will. We don’t know if her cancer is gone yet due to the whole emergency trip to NY. But yeah, I personally leave the house like… never, so my daily life hasn’t really had any deviations. What is a comfort show of yours? Hm. I share enough that I’m not a TV person, so I don’t really seek out a show when I need comfort. But I guess if I was sitting there with the remote and I was really down, I’d be happy to find That ‘70s Show. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? As I believe *some* sort of greater intelligence is responsible for the universe, I like to think so. But if not, make your own reason. What is something you have done this year you’re proud of? I’ve been home alone for over a month now and am somehow doing okay, taking care of the house and myself. Animal Crossing , yay or nay? I’ve never played it. Not of my interest in games. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship? “Breaks” are bullshit. You’re either together or you’re not.

[imaginedanganronpa]

Hi! I only recently discovered your blog but I really love your imagines! I was wondering if you could write the V3 boys (+Souda and Fuyuhiko) with their fem S/O’s on their period? Thank you in advance :)

Hello and welcome!! And thank you very much! :) I hope you like it!

V3 Boys + Kazuichi Souda & Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu with Their Fem!S/O On Her Period!

Saihara Shuichi

You wake up with a long yawn and seeyour sleeping boyfriend’s peaceful face beside you, then quietly pull yourself out of bed while being careful to not wake him.

You must not have noticed the bloodstain on the bed because you didn’t feel any period cramps or notice the signs that it was your time of the month, so you start making breakfast for the two of you, blissfully unaware of your body’s internal clock.

When Saihara woke up to see that you were no longer beside him, and only a dark bloodstain was left where you slept, he jolted out of bed in a panic and started to storm through the house, desperately trying to locate you. His experience as a Detective clouded his judgement and automatically caused him to assume the worst.

He rushed by your side, into the kitchen, still half-dressed and not wearing a shirt. His face was flushed and sweat pooled on Saihara’s forehead as he pulled you into a relieved hug. 

“Don’t scare me like that… I thought something happened to you!”Confused, you shook your head at him and he guides you back to the bedroom where you finally see the bloodstain and your eyes widen as you run towards the bathroom.

He could sense that something was wrong and knocked on the door, asking if everything was okay from the other side. Eventually, Saihara puts two and two together and then sits down at the kitchen table in ahuff.

“Oh, it’s just her period,” he says, thankful, and collapses. Whew.

From that point onward, Saihara did everything he could to make your week more tolerable and comfortable. He coddles you when your cramps start to become more prevalent and painful, holding you and rubbing your back to support you through them while softly whispering that everything was going to be okay.

He asks if you needed anything from the store, and even if you say no, he stocks up anyway. He buys your favorite brand of pads/tampons, anything he knew you usually craved, a heating pad, and pain relievers. 

Saihara cooks for you and does all of the usual work around the house to alleviate your stress and movement. He does everything in his power to make this week a little bit less terrible. When you lay beside him, he rests his warm hand on your stomach and rubs small circles into your skin after placing a heating pad underneath you for your back-pain.

And even when you have mood-swings, he remains calm and doesn’t mind too much. Saihara knows that it’s nothing personal and will hold you when you’re irritable, shushing and humming as he tries to relax you.

When he has free-time, he cuddles up beside you and turns on one of your favorite movies to get your mind off of your period, and although he always treats you like royalty, he is even more sensitive and loving during this time of the month than any other time.

Ouma Kokichi

You’ve never really talked aboutyour period with Ouma because you weren’t sure if he would make fun of you ornot. You honestly wouldn’t put it past him, so you always keep that to yourself.

After all, you love him dearly but you know how childish your boyfriend can be. You hope that he would be a bit more mature than that, but…

It was an early Saturday afternoon and you were spending the day with Ouma, having a lazy weekend together. You must not have felt the oncoming cramps, or maybe you weren’t officially ‘starting’ your period so the pain had yet to come, but regardless you didn’t notice the small dots of blood on your shorts.

When you stand and Ouma sees the red spots, a smile twists on his face that he can’t contain. You glance at him and return the smile until he says, “Hey, (Y/N), you might wanna take care of that,” whilst pointing at your waist.

You follow the direction of his finger and your face changes into a horrific, pale expression. You shield yourself and rush towards the bathroom, becoming overwhelmed with emotions of embarrassment.

Ouma taps on the door and apologizes. Though he teased you at first, he gets serious and starts to become more protective over you, switching into his genuine parental, loving mode that not many people get to see.

While he does laugh at first, he starts to draw a hot bath and helps you get undressed, then sits on the side of the bath and helps clean you up down there. He holds your hand as you soak and let the hot water do its magic and alleviate some of your pain.

Ouma will do everything he can for you, but sometimes he runs his mouth which results in a one-sided argument. He knows that you’re moodier during your period but he doesn’t hold back when it comes to teasing and jokes, so you become frustrated with him easily and snap.

He just finds it amusing and only teases you ‘out of love.’ You know he loves you, though, because he’ll hold you when you’re in pain and try to rub where it hurts, as well as fetch any pain pills you may have in your cabinets.

To your pleasant surprise, Ouma is more considerate when you’re on your period than you thought he would be and does his best to help. He also likes having an excuse to kiss around your stomach and thighs, but you don’t mind. 

And he tries making you laugh to bring a smile to your face since he knows how hard this week can be. Plus, he has so many questions so expect him to pester you with all kinds of strange remarks about your time of the month. You do your best to answer as he stares at you, wide-eyed.

He likes resting his hands on your lower abdomen, where the cramps are concentrated, and gently caress your skin. He’ll also surprise you by bringing home some of your favorite pleasure-foods and cravings.

If you ever ask Ouma to buy you pads/tampons, he’ll scoff at first but he eventually gives in. You think that he’s just trying to get on your nerves, and you knew he would end up doing whatever you say, because he loves you and he really does hate to see you in so much pain.

But he still brings up your accidental bleed-through almost every time you get your period afterwards…

Rantaro Amami

When your eyes fluttered open, youextended your arm to reach for your boyfriend, instead finding an empty bed. Once you werefully awake, you realized that Rantaro wasn’t beside you and you furrow yourbrows.

Suddenly, a wave of pain washes over your body and you pull your knees to yourchest due to the cramps, curling into a ball as you whimper and impatiently wait for the cramps to surpass.

Finally standing, you notice the small drops of blood on your pajama pants and groanwith frustration… it must be that time of the month again.

You hurriedly rush towards the bathroom but had to run past the kitchen to doso, where you saw your boyfriend cooking breakfast. Glancing over his shoulder,he smiles and waves you over. “Good-morning, love!”

But Rantaro could immediately tell that something was wrong and approached you cautiously. “Is everything okay hun?” He wedges his foot in the bathroom and peeks inside, and realizing that you had no other choice, you tell him everything.

“I got my period again…” You normally told Rantaro when you got your period because he always knew what to do. He nods with understanding and helps you change out ofthe bloody clothes and uses a warm washcloth to clean you up.

After he finishes breakfast, he asks what you needed and then promptly heads to the store where he stocks up on pads/tampons, your cravings, and everything your heart desired. After returning, he sets a heating pad on your stomach and a warm washcloth on your forehead.

Then, Rantaro takes his place in bed beside you and cuddles you gently. By now, he was a pro at this - he has twelve sisters after all, so he has plenty of experience with taking care of them during their times of the month and knows everything he should do.

He softly massages you and goes out of his way to care for you. He will rub anywhere that starts cramping and even knows the ‘hot water-bottle on your abdomen’ trick. He also makes sure to buy plenty of chocolate and sweets to satisfy your cravings and carries pads/tampons on him so that you always have them if you need it.

Rantaro was so used to periods by this point that it was no big deal and he never breaks a sweat, even when you’re acting irrational due to your hormones and mood-swings. After all twelve of his sister’s cycles synced up and he had to manage all of them being moody at the same time, he can handle anything. 

He simply keeps a level-head and quietly listens to you whenever you were feeling angry or upset, being your shoulder to cry on.

But he will definitely wait on you hand and foot, and gives you plenty of cuddles and kisses to get you through the week. He is patient with you and is the best caretaker you could ask for.

Honestly, Rantaro is the best person to have around when you’re on your period. He even downloads a period app on his phone so he can track it and know when it’s coming, just to make sure that he has everything you needs when it arrives.

Kiibo

You weren’t really sure how totell Kiibo that you got your period. You didn’t technically have to tell him,but you bled through the night and when he saw you washing the bloody sheets hewould definitely have questions.

You were in the middle of doing laundry when your boyfriend walked into theroom and lovingly wrapped his arms around you. Of course he walked in as soonas you started stuffing the sheets into the washer, and you freeze in place.

It takes Kiibo a moment to notice the bloodstains and when he finally does, hejumps back and lets out a loud cry. “Ah! Holy… what happened?!” he exclaims, taken back by surprise. You whirl around and hold up your hands defensively, insisting that,“This isn’t what it looks like!”

He started berating you with questions and gave you little to no time to answer so you abruptly cut him off. “I got myperiod, Kiibo! That’s it!”

A bit embarrassed by your sudden outburst, you blush and lower your eyes to the ground while avoiding looking at him directly. His silence felt heavy as he took a step back and quickly apologized.

He started to rattle his brain since he’s never actually had to deal with this situation before and has absolutely no idea what to do. Kiibo hasn’t had any experience with women on their periods so he starts to panic.

“Uh… well, what do I do? Do I need to do anything? H-how can I help?” He offers you a sheepish grin in response.

Once he calms down, he’s very good with you. You tell him that it would be nice if he helped you out around the house so Kiibo does everything he can to assist you, though he is a bit rusty and ignorant since he’s never had to deal with this before. He has plenty of questions about your period and hopes he doesn’t come across as rude, just… curious.

He often starts to freak out when you’re on your period, especially when you get mood-swings. He always thinks he’s doing something wrong after you snap at him but he does his best, and he forgets that you’re a lot moodier during this time of the month. He always feels like he’s stepping on eggshells because he doesn’t want to upset you now.

And whenever you get emotional, he shuts down because he doesn’t know what to do… but trust me, he’s trying his damnedest.

Truthfully, Kiibo goes a bit overboard when you tell him what you need. He buys too many pads/tampons and comes home with a ridiculous amount of sweets and pain relievers, but he didn’t know how much girls needed! At least you wouldn’t run out for awhile, though.

He also uses his internal hard-drive to track your cycle, quickly adjusting to your period and gets the hang of it after a couple months.

Using his some of his functions, he turns himself into a heating pad and literally warms up to you to take away some of your pain, while Kiibo constantly asks you how you’re doing. He is a lot more careful with you when you’re on your period, treating you as if you are like fine China.

And Kiibo does a lot of Googling to try to learn more so that he can prepare next time, and be the best boyfriend he can be!

Kaito Momota

Kaito always manages to forget about yourtime of the month and still hasn’t gotten used to your cycle because you onlyrecently started dating.

Somehow, it always slips his mind. You didn’t know how he could possibly forget about it, but maybe he was just more blissfully oblivious since he isn’t the one who has to put up with it.

Regardless, you were feeling a bit moody and under the weather due to your fluctuating hormones. Now really wasn’t the time to bother you, and you unintentionally lash out at Kaito when he accidentally spooks you by coming around the corner too quickly.

He gets defensive and snaps, “Jeez, I wasn’t trying to scare ya, (Y/N)!” Then, your lip quivered as tears formed in your eyes. “I’m sorry… I just got my period and it’s my emotions…” you couldn’t finish your sentence before bursting into an emotional fit.

Kaito goes into a full-blown panic because he hates seeing you cry. “Uh… what am I supposed to do?!” He trulywanted to help but he looked like a bull in a China shop, storming around the house frantically trying to be of assistance.

He grabs every single pill bottle in your house and all of the sweets in your pantry which causes you to giggle. His arms were full as he drops them all on your bed and says, “Here! Take whatever you need!”

You also ask him if he’ll run to the store to buy you pads/tampons, but Kaito gets a bit defensive. “W-what? But… I’m a guy, and plus I don’t even know what to get!” He exclaims and you sigh, then tell him your favorite brand and write down exactly what he needs. He remains defensive and says that he didn’t want people to see him buying that, and you snap.

“They know it isn’t for you! And ladies love and appreciate when their partners buy them period products! Plus, if you’re embarrassed then imagine how I feel! It would mean a lot to me!” 

Kaito blinks in disbelief, “Really?” He realizes how stubborn he was being and then promptly ran to the store.

After that, he is determined to make this week as comfortable for you as possible to make up for his stubbornness. He starts to ask you constantly how you’re doing to an almost annoying degree, but you can tell it’s because he has a golden heart and pure intentions.

Kaito becomes frustrated because he hates seeing you in so much pain and wants nothing more than to take it away. Being unable to do anything makes him feel weak, but he does his best to just be there to support you as your shoulder to cry on and alleviate some of your stress.

After he is able to relax and calm down, Kaito is a lovely partner. He quickly get used to your period and starts reminding you to change your pad/tampon frequently. The two of you also pig out and indulge in your guilty pleasures, as you satisfy your cravings.

He is a lot softer with you after awhile and becomes more parental over you. Kaito does everything he can for you to help you get through this difficult week.

Korekiyo Shinguuji

You knew that Korekiyo was more open and understanding than most men, so you never really hesitated to tell him when you got your period. He was never grossed out or seemed uncomfortable by the situation so you never saw an issue.

It happened one evening while you two were preparing for dinner, and you were in the midst of cooking. Korekiyo was your ever-so helpful assistant.

Then, your legs started trembling. You’ve been having warning-period cramps lately so you knew it was coming, and it usually sets on over time and doesn’t happen this unexpectedly. 

He immediately notes you fumbling with the cooking supplies and furrows his brows. “Is everything alright, dear?” He tilts his head to the side kindly.

You ask him to take over and excuse yourself to the bathroom to take care of your business. When you return, you tell Korekiyo that you got your period out of nowhere and he nods sympathetically but wordlessly.

Overall, he was very calm. He instructed you to wait for him to finish cooking and that he would do the rest, asking you to simply take it easy for the time being.

Afterwards, he turns all of his attention to you. He is very level-headed and understanding of your mood-swings. He is always good to you, but even more-so when you’re on your period.

Korekiyo takes very good care of you. He was already a very patient and relaxed person so that doesn’t change, even when you’re irritable and snippy. It does hurt his heart to see you in so much pain, knowing that he can’t do anything to take your cramps away.

But he does make the week as bearable as possible. Korekiyo will run a steamy bath, with rose petals, candles, and a bath-bomb if you want, and then help you get undressed. He also often asks how you’re doing and checks up on you more frequently during your period.

It’s like he knew exactly what to do. He is gentle with you and listens to all of your vents and rants about your period and how you wish you didn’t have to deal with it, and Korekiyo tries relating to you.

Of course he buys you anything and everything you need. He also keeps pads/tampons at his house for emergency purposes, and so you don’t have to worry about carrying them around or forgetting them.

He will serve you hand and foot and do everything to ease your difficult week. There is no judgement in your relationship and nothing you say or do during your period makes him think any less of you. He is extremely understanding and knows what it’s like, so even when you’re emotional he’ll calm you down and rub your shoulders, and none of your complaints about your cramps or the blood is ‘too much information’ or could make him uncomfortable.

Korekiyo thinks that women and people with a uterus are so strong for enduring this painful month, and thinks the reproductive process is beautiful, despite its hardships at times. You just shake your head because you don’t understand.

“If you like it so much then you can take it.”

Gonta Gokuhara

Since you started dating, you’venever really talked about your period with Gonta. Why would you? It’s not likeit was extremely important to him; plus, you didn’t want him to worry about you.

Clearly you can’t hide things forever, though.

You didn’t even feel the first cramp or pick-up on any of the signs that it wascoming so you must have started bleeding without realizing it. Thinking nothing of it, you start pushing your way to the front of the fairly empty classroom to go to the restroom.

When you stand and brush past him, you apparently bled through. Gonta sees thebloodstains on your pants and lets out a loud cry.

“(Y/N)! Dying!” You furrow your brows and whip around to face him, then askwhat he was talking about. He twirls you back around and looks down, and you finally figure out what he must be looking at.

You knew you were supposed to be getting your period soon but didn’t know it would be today. Your facepales and you start to apologize frantically, then start working on calming your boyfriend down.

“It’s just my period.” Gonta looked confused and tilts his head to one side, so you explain, “Girls get their period once a month where they bleed from… down there, it’s totally normal… I’m not dying,” you say that last part with a small giggle.

However, he looked terrified, his eyes widening with terror. “Every girl? Every month?!” He looked at you in awe as you nod your head, then he quietly glanced around the room at your female classmates.

Gonta just couldn’t imagine it. He freaked out, but started to calm down. Then, he vowed to protect you or… at least take some of your pain and stress away. The symptoms of your period got stronger and that’s when your boyfriend got serious.

Anytime your period starts to roll back around, he makes a trip to the store and picks up everything you need. Gonta keeps extra pads/tampons in his home and carries them on his person just in case you need one, or even one of your female friends or classmates.

He does his best to be there for you when the cramps become unbearable, using his strong hands to deeply massage your skin and the tightened areas all over your body, taking away some of the cramps. Then, Gonta gets a hot compress to alleviate the pain even further.

He sometimes treats it as if you’re sick and will help feed you and insist that you stay put while you’re on your period. You lightheartedly chuckle and say, “Gonta, it’s just my period. I’m not sick and I can still walk!”

“No!” He responds, “Gonta want (Y/N) to take it easy!” His warm smile comforted you and you knew he was just doing his best. You didn’t mind him waiting on you, though, and tending to all of your needs. Your comfort and happiness were his top priority and he would do anything to make you feel better during this week.

All he wants to do is help, like a real gentleman would. He isn’t grossed out by your period at all and instead becomes fascinated. Gonta does a lot of research and Googling to try to find answers and ways to help you out even more, and makes sure to do all of the basics.

He gives you plenty of kisses, cuddles, and chocolate to make your period more tolerable, drowning you in even more love than usual. He always asks how you’re doing and promises that, “Period no big deal!” 

Ryoma Hoshi

When you and Ryoma start dating, you are very hesitant to open up about your private life. He was such an aloof individual that you weren’t sure how he would feel if you suddenly started to ramble on about your issues.

But it happened when you were in public. You’ve had the warning signs that it was coming so you knew that you were going to get your period very soon, but you thought you had more time than this… or, at least, that it would wait until you got home; especially since Ryoma doesn’t go out very often and you wanted to enjoy your time together.

You were walking around the mall together when suddenly, you feel cramps starting to arise in your abdomen. They got worse and worse until you were doubled over in pain, sinking your nails into your boyfriend’s skin which caught his attention.

Ryoma is immediately concerned and sits you down at the nearest table he can find, then starts examining you.

When you tell him that it’s just your period, a faint blush appears on your cheeks. But to your surprise, Ryoma wasn’t bothered at all; his face remained neutral and he pressed his lips together tightly.

He was more-so worried about getting you the feminine products that you needed and alleviating your pain, so his mind immediately switched into a protective mode as he scanned the mall for the nearest exit.

He was quite calm and didn’t really care that you talked about it, seemingly unbothered. He even added, “That’s a normal thing that fifty-percent of the population has to deal with… why would it bother me?”

As he insisted that you didn’t have to worry, he drove you home, cutting your adventure short.

Then, Ryoma tends to all of your needs in the only way he knew how. He does what he can, though it may not be a lot. He shows little interest in your period and nothing changes to him; he was just the same old Ryoma.

But he does go out of his way to make you feel at ease. He is quite blunt and asks you, “You got pads/tampons, right?” You were a bit surprised by his sudden straight-forwardness. When you shake your head, he sighs, “well, tell me what kind and I’ll go get some.”

From then on out, he remained pretty blunt but you could tell that he cared. He checked up on you often, but his demeanor didn’t really change. Ryoma was more affectionate than usual, more concerned with your well-being, but his attitude wasn’t really altered.

He could handle your mood-swings and did his best to calm you down, bribing you with chocolate or other cravings you had to get you to relax. Ryoma just… didn’t know what he was supposed to do or what was expected of him, so he sometimes came across as a bit uninterested.

But he did really love you and hated seeing you in so much pain. He just didn’t want to stress you out anymore by showing signs of weakness, so he did the basics by rubbing the areas where you cramped and making sure you were taken care of, kissing your stomach and telling you that this week would pass soon enough.

Kazuichi Souda

You normally give Kazuichi a headsup that your period was coming but this month it sneaks up on you.

You wake up beside his smiling face and he presses a kiss against your foreheadlovingly. “Hello, beautiful,” he says as you smile into the embrace he pulls youinto. Waking up beside him was one of your favorite things and you were in such a peaceful mood that the warning signs flew over your head.

You both get dressed and pull yourself out of bed. As Kazuichi starts making thebed, he sees the bloodstain you must have produced overnight. “Oh, my God!” He exclaims before patting himselfdown. It wasn’t coming from him so he turns to you with an expression of complete shock and terror.

“(Y/N), are you bleeding?!” He panicked, his face contorting into a horror as he started examining you thoroughly. You were alarmed at first until you patted yourself down and put two and two together.

“Oh, it must just be my period.” You say calmly and nonchalantly, sounding a bitirritated. By now, you were used to getting it once a month but it neverceased to annoy you, especially when it surprises you like this. Plus, you feel bad for scaring your boyfriend.

Kazuichi breathes and calms down, collapsing on the bed as he clutches his heart, “I was really worried there for a second.”

He can’t really handle your mood-swings or outbursts so almost all of your fights happen when you’re on your period and he does his best to calm you down, although you can sometimes both lose yourselves in the irritability and heat of the moment.

Other than that, having Kazuichi around is a dream. He keeps you in a positive attitude and does his best to keep your mind off of the stress and pains, and take care for all of your needs when you’re cramping; his favorite thing to do is massage your skin to try to minimize your pain.

He’ll trail butterfly kisses down your stomach and hold you tightly, then place a hot compress to the areas where you are in pain. Kazuichi, somehow, is very good at this and you wonder where he must have learned all of these tricks from.

And if your cramps are particularly bothering you, he’ll run a hot bath and help get you both undressed, and hold you in his torso as your muscles relax and he places kisses on the crook of your neck.

This also gives him an excuse to eat as many sweets as he wants, satisfying both of your cravings, so it’s a win-win.

Kazuichi is always a bit embarrassed when he buys you pads/tampons, but it’s all for you and you’re worth it. He becomes a bit more bossy than usual but that’s just him trying to help. He’s constantly asking you how you feel and reminding you to change your pad/tampon. But even with your mood-swings and pain, he showers you in affection during this time.

Your period always seems to catch him by surprise so Kazuichi is a force to be reckoned with, but once he settles down he will take very good care of you. That’s his job, after all, and he’d do anything for you.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

You and Fuyuhiko have only beendating for a few months so you haven’t really talked about your period. It’s just not something that you want to bring up yet, unable to find an appropriate opening to do so.

But one afternoon, after school let out, you seemed to have no other choice but to bring up the subject.

While cuddling with Fuyuhiko, you feel an all-too familiar stomach cramp sneak up on you. Suddenly, your body becomes hot and you feel a sensation in your lower-regions… and you instantly know what was happening.

Flustered, you excuse yourself abruptly. Fuyuhiko sits up and extends a hand out to you, calling for you as he does. “Hey, (Y/N)! Wait up!” But you have no time to waste and instead hurry into the nearest restroom.

Of course, as hot-tempered as he is, he followed you and knocked on the door; but he wasn’t angry, just concerned and not sure how to express it. You could hear him on the other side and insisted that everything was fine, but he wanted in.

You crack the door and he gently pushes it open to find your blushing, embarrassed face. Fuyuhiko softens and tilts his head to one side, “Are you okay?” He asks as he rests his hands on your shoulders.

You groan and realize that there’s no way out of this. “Well, I… I got my period…” and then his already-rosy cheeks turned into a deeper shade of red as he realized his mistake by intruding.

“O-oh, fuck, my bad…” then, he started rummaging through the bathroom while saying that he thought his sister kept her own feminine products in here somewhere, but he wasn’t sure where.

After finding them, Fuyuhiko hands you the box of pads/tampons and steps out of the room as you do your business. He waits outside the door and pulls you into a hug once you step out, kissing your forehead and apologizing for his intrusion, emphasizing that he should have waited. 

He then guides you back to a more private area and wets a washcloth as he helps you clean up and dampens your face, then gently asks if there was anything he could do to help.

The blood doesn’t bother Fuyuhiko one bit and he was used to being around this sort of thing, since his sister and Peko were both major people in his life. Perhaps that’s why he’s so good at tending to your needs.

While on your period, Fuyuhiko insists that he wanted to help in any way possible. He brings you your cravings and will run you a hot bath in an attempt to alleviate your cramps.

When you get moody, he can be a bit hard to deal with. You’re both more irritable when you’re on your period but he tries to keep a level-head and calm both of you down, being your voice of reason. He does his best to minimize your moodiness and tries being patient with you, bringing you into long embrace and holding you until it passes.

Smirking at your boyfriend, you tease, “Wow, I knew you had a soft side but I’m impressed, Fuyu.” This prompted him to shoot you an intimidating glare. “Don’t tell anyone about this…” he sounded a bit embarrassed, but you giggle and kiss him.

He really was just a big teddy-bear who loved you dearly after all.

- Mod Rantaro

[elijahfitz]

pause. ( breathe. think. go. )

day seven: one word drabble prompt “ pause ”

i. two years old.

he remembers a flea market. he remembers his mother’s hands. he remembers the feeling of the sun beating down. he remembers the way she brushed the tears from his chubby cheeks and the stings from his scraped knees and the annoyed looks from the passersby. he remembers making a fist and hurling it toward his mother and his hands being caught by larger, more gentler ones. but mostly, he remembers his mother telling him: “ when you feel upset, or nervous, sad, afraid, or even furious... before you act, first pause. then you breathe. and think about what you’re doing and what you’re about to do. once you do all of those, only then can you go. say it with me. “ pause. breathe. think. go. ” ( two days later, she would leave him on the back of a merchant cart with nothing but a stuffed animal, a basket of food, and a note. not that eli can remember. but looking back, eli wonders how she could pause, and breathe, and think, yet still go ahead with that. )

ii. five years old.

if he hid, then he wouldn’t have to go back. they can’t send back someone that they couldn’t find. so that’s why he was so upset when his dad scooped him into a fireman’s carry and they took off towards mom’s room. eli did everything he possibly could to delay the inevitable. he banged on eugene’s back, he kicked his legs, and mostly screamed bloody murder. it had almost worked. pretty soon, he was being put down and as his short legs lowered towards the ground he got himself ready to sprint only to be trapped by his father’s larger, much stronger arms that he couldn’t escape despite how much squirming he tried. “ don’t you want to go in, bud? ” eugene asked. he was answered by a frantic head shake. this made the older man laugh, “ well you’re going in anyways. might as well compose yourself right now before you upset your mother. ” elijah would never want to upset rapunzel. if he made her upset it would be like the cherry on top and they’d send him away for sure. tears started to well up and threatened to drop. “compose yourself, buddy, ” eugene gently urged, “ just take a breath. ” pause. breathe. think. they wouldn’t replace you. they won’t send you back to the orphanage. you’re being irrational. maybe you’ll like them once you meet them. go. “ i think, ” the young prince hiccuped, “ i think i’m ready. ” eugene grinned widely, “ then let’s go. ” he scooped the five-year-old into his arms and brought him into the room. “ time to meet your new sibling. ”

iii. twelve years old. ( 10 minutes before his thirteenth birthday )

eli’s ankle itched, but if he went to scratch it he knew that his mother would just swat his arm away from the bandages. it was times like these that made eli wish his mother’s haircut didn’t permanently de-magic-ify her hair. not only did his ankle itch literally, but something inside him itched to run away, only his previous attempt to run away is what landed him with his recently-healed broken ankle in the first place. “ why so glum? ” eugene asked, straightening the collar eli’s ceremonial suit. this one was new, not only to fit his rapidly growing body ( god, puberty is a bitch ), but also to reflect his new status. while his past ceremonial wear were mostly simple patterns, this one was created specifically for this event. adorned with delicate golden detailing, elegant and intricate designs of the sun contracted the dark purple of the jacket he wore. and honestly? eli thought he looked like an idiot ( not to mention how stiff the material was ). but his mother designed it herself and thus he would never dare speak his thoughts. the only upside was he would only have to wear is once, then it would go up in some display case somewhere where he could forget about it. “ do i really have to do this, dad? i mean... what if i go out there and everyone’s disappointed? ” eli confided, “ what if people think i’m not good enough? or if my voice cracks during the speech? i don’t want to go out there. ” “ that’s what’s worrying you? ” a nod. “ i don’t want to go out there, ” eli repeated. “ but all of your friends will be there! don’t you want to see them? ” “ but i won’t even get to talk to them! i’ll be too busy at the front with you! ” “ but just think about how quickly it will be over once you get out there! ” “ and we’ll be right there next to you the whole time, ” rapunzel piped in, directing him to stand directly in front of the door. it was 11:58. only two more minutes left. he could feel himself starting to sweat with nerves. sure, he’d had balls thrown in his honor before but none of them were as important as these! 11:59. he could hear the people outside start to quiet down in anticipation. his mother squeezed his shoulder. his father patted him on the back. the announcer cleared his throat. bells rang signifying midnight. the doors dramatically swung open to reveal a grand ballroom, of which the royal family of corona stood at the top of the ornate staircase. he could see some of his friends bowing with the rest of the crowd, but subtly waving or giving a thumbs up. he could see his siblings toward the back, by the thrones, already looking quite bored by the procession. pause. breathe. think. just get it over with. do it for your people and do it for your parents. you’ve rehearsed this for weeks. go. he stepped forward. “ now presenting for the first time as the official crown prince: his royal highness elijah frederic fitzherbert of corona! ”

iv. eighteen years old.

" it’s not working! ” he yelled, slamming the bowl down on the counter in a fit of anger. the few servants milling around the kitchen winced, but after a moment continued with their own tasks. this same outburst had happened multiple times over the past few days. “ why won’t this stupid souffle rise!? ” he untied his apron, threw it forcefully onto the counter top, and stormed out of the room. he’d been trying to make this souffle for three straight days now, but all of his attempts failed in one way or another. one was over baked, the other raw in the middle. and now it refused to rise, even though yesterday it rose just fine. should he just give up? yes. at this point, it will never work so he should just stop trying! he began to walk away. pause. breathe. think. you should really impress this duke ( and his cute son! ). it’s a dumb dessert. how will you lead a kingdom if you let a souffle defeat you? maybe it just needs a different folding technique. go. he pivoted on his heels and headed toward the kitchen. he was going to perfect these motherfucking souffles even if it killed him.

v. twenty seven years old.

panic. people were panicking. and could eli blame them? they’d just found out they were trapped in a castle by evil magic with no way out. he had so many questions. who would want to do this? what exterior motive did they have? were they targeting someone? how would they get out? a small hand poked his thigh. “ yes? ” he managed to choke out, staring at the young child. he recognized the boy from the party the night before — he’d been playing near the desserts table. wide eyes blinked back at him, before the boy quietly asked, “ everyone’s so scared. are we going to die? ” were they? they had no idea what the villain that trapped them here had in store. were they going to attack them now that the whole castle were at their the most vulnerable? oh god, this kid was looking at him expecting him to have an answer. how was he supposed to know? pause. breathe. think. there are plenty of experienced magic users. evil hasn’t won yet, and it wouldn’t this time. go. “ we, ” he smiled softly, picking the boy up and placing him on a table to look at him at eye level, “ are going to be just fine. ” hopefully, if he said it enough he could convince himself, too.

[thelamppoststation]

Future’s Past by TheLampPost

In 2008, a year after James managed to get off that godforsaken rock, he receives a visit from a young woman with blue eyes and blonde hair. She hands him a locket and a letter, then demands answers to questions that he didn't even know existed. Post season 6 (Suliet) - This story is also partly set during the DHARMA days.

---------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3: Truth and Tea                  

       Aylesbury, England - April 2008      

The sound of a woodpecker hammering its beak against the side of a tree carried through the open window, intruding upon a stale conversation, that for the past half hour had been dominated by unimaginative splashes of silent exasperation. Dr. Stanhope asked a question, Theresa would answer, Stanhope would ask a follow-up question, or another question, Theresa would answer, etc…

"And how have you been sleeping lately?"

They'd been going back and forth like this for months now, getting positively nowhere. And while Abigail insisted that this was good for her, that she would soon come to realize that Stanhope was trying to help her understand her condition better; Theresa knew, with absolute certainty, that she wasn't going to find any of her answers here, at these weekly one hour therapy sessions on the couch of a clueless psychologist in Aylesbury.

"Theresa?"

"Sorry?" she blinked, and sat up straighter.

Stanhope narrowed her eyes, and crossed her legs; stretching the thin line around her mouth into a forced smile.

"How have you been sleeping lately?" she repeated.

"Better," Theresa shrugged and stared down at her nails; she really should stop biting them. "But I do sometimes still wake up in the middle of the night, unsure of where I am, or how I got there."

"Hmm."

"And I've been having dreams."

"Oh?" Stanhope looked up from her notebook, pen hovering in midair.

"They're silly, really," she smiled, and shrugged. "I try not to think of them too much."

Stanhope nodded, mirroring Theresa's smile; it looked even less genuine than the first one.

"I'm not sure if you're aware of this," her expression morphed into a pensive grimace. "But, research has shown that dreams help the unconscious mind to process that which we've not been able to properly address with our conscious mind. Maybe, yours are simply a manifestation of your subconscious, trying to make sense of a reality that you've only recently become a part of again."

"Maybe."

Theresa bit her lip, suppressing the urge to explain how Stanhope's interpretation of reality lay tied to personal experiences that resided in a linear sphere of her own existence; a stable constant in spacetime. In truth, it was all relative; a construct that Theresa had believed to be true until it collapsed in on itself some seven years ago. From then on she'd resided in a vast void as an onlooker, her body wasting away while her mind remained trapped in a narrative that promoted senseless discontinuity; she was three, and looking for her dolly; she was twenty, talking to her father; she was ten riding her new bike in the rain. While in between those realities her body remained tettered to a drifting soul in an undead state. Alive, but not living.

"Trees," she said.

"Trees?"

"My dreams," she began. "Palm trees, banana leaves, and sometimes images of cobwebs with black circles, but they're not really cobwebs. They look more like the ones that you see in comicbooks, or cartoons," she paused, her mind sifting through the pictures of her dreams. "A swan, an arrow, and a rabbit. I think. They appear in black and white flashes. And there are more, but it doesn't matter, because it always ends with him."

"Him?"

"Daniel."

Stanhope had been listening to her with increased interest; the explanation of the dream chained to a piercing expression; but now her pupils had dilated even further at the mention of Daniel.

"Daniel Faraday? The man who put you in a coma?"

"He didn't put me in a coma," Theresa snapped. "I put myself in a coma!"

"Theresa–"

"I wanted it; I asked him. I knew the risks involved; we'd tested the rats, and understood that the human mind could potentially respond differently," she inhaled sharply. "I did it to myself!"

Stanhope didn't move, merely looked at her, tainted compassion melting down the sides of her face.

"I'm sorry," she leaned forward, and put a hand on Theresa's knee. "I spoke too abruptly, I didn't mean to upset you."

Theresa pushed her hand away, unwilling to accept such a thoroughly educated apology; she already struggled enough with Stanhope's ambiguous nature as it was.

They'd been tiptoeing around the "event" since she started these sessions, and Stanhope's demeanor would invariably change whenever Theresa so much as mentioned Daniel's name; it unnerved her. Why was she so interested in him? What did she want?

On more than one occassion Theresa had laid the memories out in front of her like pieces of a puzzle that didn't quite fit into the picture of her past anymore, and in those instances it became obvious that it had always been and would always be Daniel who laid at the core of her trauma.

Was that it? Did Stanhope get off on that? She'd located the source, and now she wanted what? To excavate the neural pathways between her memories and emotions; tear down all of Theresa's defences, until she could stand it no more?

She wasn't ready to admit that she hadn't given up on him, yet. Nor ready to confess that his disappearance had ignited an overnight obsession. Every single day since she'd woken up from her coma, she'd been looking for him, and every single night he would appear to her. Speaking without words in dreams that proved to be impossible to decipher without properly working ears. But she was sure, so sure, that it meant something.

"He's still out there somewhere."

"He has been missing for over four years. Wouldn't it be better if you laid Daniel's memory to rest, and just moved on from all of this?"

Theresa snorted and crossed her arms in front of her chest; she almost sounded like Abigail. Move on, go out, meet other people; as though it was that easy to forget.

"Have you ever lost someone?"

"Yes, of course." Stanhope replied.

"Well then what if you knew for sure that they weren't lost, but still out there somewhere? Wouldn't you do anything you could to find them, and bring them back?"

Stanhope sighed and reclined in her chair.

"Theresa, there's a difference between rational dreams and irrational fantasies," she began. "Every 90 seconds someone on this planet goes missing. In the United Kingdom alone over 170,000 people are currently unaccounted for. Daniel has been gone for over four years; he disappeared along with an entire science team, and then some. I don't like to make a sport out of contradicting my patients, but it's my duty to make you understand that holding onto Daniel's memory makes it impossible for you to move on. From one scientist to another, you must understand that when that freighter lost contact with civilization in the middle of the South Pacific it wasn't because of a defective radio."

"They never found anything."

"They didn't find the Titanic until 1985, that doesn't mean it didn't sink before then," Stanhope uncrossed her legs, and capped her pen. "I understand why you're holding onto this; it's your lifeline. I see it all the time. But just because they weren't able to find that freighter doesn't mean it's still out there somewhere. You woke up months ago, it's time for you to let go."

Theresa clenched her jaw, shooting daggers at the woman across from her. In what world could this harpy ever have obtained a Master's degree in psychology from Yale university?

"With all due respect, I really don't give a damn about what you think happened. I know he's still out there," she rose from the couch; her nostrils flaring with contained anger. "And he's on that island!"

Stanhope stared, her jaw unhinged.

"Island?"

Theresa was done. Whatever Stanhope had to say, she wasn't interested in counterarguments any longer. At the end of the day she, herself, was the only person who understood what had happened, and maybe, just maybe, if she ever found him, Daniel would understand too.

"I think we're done here," she reached for the doorknob with a type of determination she hadn't felt in years.

"Goodbye, Dr. Stanhope."

------------------------------------------------------

       Aylesburg, England - April 2008      

Harper watched her storm out, the door slamming shut with a loud definitive bang. The silence that ensued reinserted itself with deafening determination, but for the woodpecker that continued to hammer out its frustrations into the tree just outside her office window; what she wouldn't give to be that bird right now.

She reached for her cellphone, dialed the number; the line almost immediatley connected.

Theresa Spencer had been one of her most frustrating cases to date. A stubborn young woman struggling with the after effects of temporal displacement syndrome. As an acting psychologist she had had trouble holding back. The way she'd treated the young woman had gone against everything that she had ever been taught in college: 'Never bait the patient. Respect their boundaries. Guide them through difficult experiences, never force their hand. Present tools, not the toolbox.'

She'd done none of that.

And she'd lied.

All in the name of–

"Yes?" the line clicked.

Harper rose from her chair, and looked out the window. She could see the woodpecker now; a bright red feathered crown bobbed up and down on its little head.

"I figured you'd want to know that she's ready."

"So soon?"

"It wasn't difficult; she did most of the work herself," Harper paused. "She still loves him, Eloise."

"Yes, that's what I counted on; I just didn't think she would start looking this soon. Are you sure?"

"She's been having dreams; she mentioned the island."

"Really?" Eloise paused, a static crack sounded on an exhalation.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"Are you second guessing my motives, dear?"

"Of course not," Harper moved away from the window. "I haven't forgotten what you did for me; I'm just not sure it's healthy to go through such lengths. Most people, they take a pottery class, start croquetching; they don't–"

"Look dear, I appreciate your professional opinion, but if I wanted therapeutic advice, I'd ask. In the meantime, just do as you're told."

Harper sighed. 'Do as you're told', that had worked out so splendidly in the past.

She put the phone on speaker, then walked around her desk and sat down. The screensaver on her Windows XP immediately gave way to a bland desktop with the standard green hillside/blue sky background shining brightly, almost happily, in her face. She hadn't bothered personalizing the image; she wasn't going to be in England for much longer anyway.

"I looked into the information that you gave me."

"And?"

"I found a woman," she double clicked on an untitled folder, pulling up the file.

"Her name is Jamie Rachel Spinoza; she lives in Miami. Her parents are Bob and Mary Spinoza; he's a math teacher at a local highschool; she's a dentist assistant. I couldn't find any connection to the island, they seemed chosen randomly by the mother. But, if what Richard told you is true, then this Jamie will be your best bet. Her birth-certificate looks… improvised," she double clicked on another file, and a fadded brownish yellow scan of a 1970s Florida birth-certificate popped into view. "It appears to have been signed by Richard himself," she snorted. "Or at least it looks like his handwriting."

"Excellent!"

"Eloise," Harper turned away from the screen and pensively stared at her phone. "You should know that she recently gave birth to a little baby boy; I couldn't find anything on the father. He doesn't seem to be in the picture; if anything were to happen to–"

"Do you have an address?"

Harper closed her eyes, and sucked in her lips.

Unrelentless.

"Yes, I'll mail it to you."

"What about the other one?"

She scrolled down to the last item in the folder, double clicked.

"Kai Nieves?"

"Did he check out?"

"According to Adam he's 'the real deal'."

"Good, has he been recruited, yet?"

"They're negotiating," Harper scrolled through a list of pictures. He was a handsome man, dark skinned, blue eyes; an unusual combination of tough and kind mixed together, but very appealing nonetheless. "Apparently, Mr. Nieves isn't exactly in the business of promoting his gifts. He wants to know what he's getting involved in, and he wants to talk to you."

"Hmm."

Harper could almost hear the wheels in Eloise's head turning as she considered the demand.

"I think he would be more inclinced to accept our offer if we tell him what happened to his parents," she suggested.

"No," Eloise retorted. "Send his details to me; I'll visit him first thing in the morning. Then book me a flight to London."

"You're coming here?"

"Of course," Eloise's voice pricked up. "If you say she's ready, then it's high time I meet my future daughter-in-law."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

       3 days later      

       Aylesburg, England - April 2008      

"He's a nice lad; you should give him a call."

"Abigail," Theresa sighed and looked up. Not this again. "Will you please stop trying to set me up with your colleagues?"

"This is the last one, I swear; he's the one."

Theresa closed The Hidden Reality by Brian Greene; thumb inserted between the pages as she sat up straighter to read the name and number on the napkin.

"Jack Hoff?" she narrowed her eyes. "Are you serious?"

Abigail shrugged.

"He's a really nice guy."

"Abby, just say that name out loud, and tell me again how he's supposed to be the one."

Abigail huffed.

"It's not his fault his parents didn't put proper thought into naming him when he was born; He's really nice."

"I'm sure he is," she pulled her legs in, motioning for her sister to sit.

Abigail flopped down; her shoulders slumped as she eyed Theresa.

"I'm worried about you."

"I'm OK," Theresa assured.

"Are you?"

"Better than a year ago."

"I'm not talking about that."

"I know."

"Why can't you just let it go, Trish?"

"Why can't you just quit setting me up with middle-aged men, Abby?"

Abigail rolled her eyes, and shoved Theresa's feet off the couch; the book slipped from her lap and landed on the carpet with a tud.

"Oy!"

"Because, dear sister; the world doesn't solely revolve around Daniel Faraday and his silly experiments!" Abigail motioned to the book as to emphasize her point. "You spent six years in a coma, and the first thing you do after you wake up is call out for a deadbeat ex-boyfriend who abandoned you eons ago!"

"You don't know that he left of his own accord!"

Abilgail gawked, her eyes bulging like that of a toad choking on a fly.

"Do you ever hear yourself?! Not a single call or message in six years, and you're still defending this guy?!"

Theresa pulled her legs back up and rested her chin on her knees; her eyes fixed on a point somewhere beyond the diningroom chairs. The harsh consonants; the long drawn vowels; she was getting so tired of this eternal discussion that held neither answers nor solutions.

"Can we just not?" she heard herself say. "Just not today."

Besides, her mind hadn't exactly been on Daniel so much as it had been on other brainchilds and hypotheses. Two days ago, a sudden epiphany had her digging through files and old research that had lain stored away on Abigail's attic for some six odd years. Contrary to what her sister believed, Theresa hadn't just been Daniel's research assitant. She had had her own motives for wanting to work with him. Yes, he had been her boyfriend, but he had also been her colleague, and thanks to his invaluable insights he had gotten her involved in groundbreaking research that had held the potential to bring about an enormous paradigm shift. She owed him; she owed him so much more than Abigail would ever be willing to admit or accept.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt if we cut to the intermission early today," Abigail smirked, her expression softening.

Theresa snorted.

"The guy could bake one hell of a pancake, though; I'll give him that."

"Excuse me? What was that?" Theresa gasped, and put a demonstrative hand on her chest.

"Did Abigail Imelda Spencer just say something nice about Daniel Faraday?"

She reached for her sister's forehead.

"Dear! You're burning up. Maybe, you should…hold on," she theatrically pulled the napkin from her sister's chestpocket, and held it out in much the same manner Abigail had done moments before. "Maybe you should ring up Mr. Jack Hoff; see if he can help you flush that blush straight off your face," she winked.

"Oh, will just shu–"

The doorbell cut straight through their living room banter; both sisters simultaneously looked up.

Theresa frowned.

"You expecting someone?"

"No."

"I swear," Theresa began. "If this is one of your set ups come to take me out on a date; you're definitely crossing a sacred line, my precious sister."

Abigail rolled her eyes, and stood up.

"Oh, why don't you just stuff that napkin down your throat already?" she countered, before rounding the corner, down the hallway.

Theresa laughed, her attention momentarily drawn to the number underneath the name; even that seemed like a joke: +441296 366613. She flung it away, symbolically getting rid of Mr. Hoff and his digits, but as she watched the napkin flutter to the ground, she couldn't help but wonder what a date with a man called Jack Hoff would be like; maybe, he preffered to be called Jim. She would.

"Uh, Trish," Abigail reappeared, her expression grave as she stepped back into the living room.

"There's someone here for you, but I don't think–"

"Huh?" Theresa stood and crossed the room. "Who is it?"

Abigail caught her arm, pulling her backwards before she could peep around the corner.

"I'm not sure if you should."

"What are you on about?" she narrowed her eyes, twisting her neck in an impossible angle to catch a better glimpse.

"Maybe we should continue this discussion inside? It's raining cats and dogs out here."

Theresa's eyes widened; Abigail scowled.

"Mrs. Hawking?"

She pushed past Abigail, her jaw unhinged as she faced the woman in the doorway.

"Please, Eloise, dear. Mrs. Hawking was my mother's name."

Eloise stepped across the threshold, looking for all the world like Mary Poppins blown in on a regular Eastern wind as she surreptitiously closed her umbrella with an animated flourish. Abigail remained stoic, arms crossed in front of her chest, while Theresa felt an almost irrepressible urge to climb up on the rooftop to scrutinize the current position of the weather van, just to make sure.

"Forgot your broom, I see."

"Abigail," Eloise inclined her head. "It's nice to see you again."

"Nice?!

Theresa placed a hand on Abigail's shoulder, rage burning a metaphysical hole through the reality of their current situation. There was only one person her sister desired to manually vivisect more than Daniel, and neither of them ever expected that scenario coming to pass. Apparently, Abigail had just won Satan's lottery.

"Just let me handle this," Theresa whispered; Abigail continued to scowl, but refrained from speaking her mind further.

"Why are you here?" Theresa turned to Eloise.

The old woman took a step closer, the light illuminating her aging face. She appeared much older than the last time they'd seen each other. But then, it had been over a decade ago since they'd last spoken.

"I think it's time we talk."

"Talk?! I've been trying to contact you for the past year; my sister tells me you ignored her calls and messages for over five! Honestly, I'm not quite sure whether to let Abby have a go at you, or if I should just throw you out myself!"

"Oh please, Trish," Abigail gritted. "Just give me five minutes with her."

"Yes, an unfortunate lapse in judgment on my part; I assure you, it won't happen again."

Abigail snorted loudly; Theresa remained apathetic.

"No, it won't," she said. "It was nice of you to stop by, Eloise; but whatever you've got to say, I'm not interested anymore."

"My dear, I think you would want to hear what I've got to say."

"Not interested," she turned around, guiding a fuming Abigail back to the living room.

"Don't you want to know what happened to Daniel?"

She stopped, her back straight as an arrow, nerves wound tightly around an invisible coil of her own making.

"No, no, no," Abigail shook her head. "Don't even think about it, Trish!"

But she was already thinking about it. In reality, she had nothing to go on; she'd already dug up everything there was on the Kahana, even secretly visited its last known location, followed coordinates that had left her staring into the deep blue of a vast ocean that held onto whispered secrets as though bound by an unbreakable vow. It had ignored her, stared back at her and challenged her sanity. Eloise was the only person left alive who could possible shed some light on the unsolvable mystery of Daniel's disappearance.

"Abby, could you please make us some tea?"

"What?!"

Theresa looked back at Eloise, who had taken the liberty of unbuttoning her coat; the umbrella placed against the door, dripping water onto the fading words of the "welcome home" doormat.

"Are you off your rocker?"

Theresa stepped closer to her sister, voice dropping to a whisper.

"I need to know."

"No, I won't stand for this," Abigail countered, putting her hands in her sides. "It stops here, Trish."

"Why are you so hell bend on keeping me from finding out the truth?"

"The truth?! This is not about any truth, and you know it."

"Last time I checked, it wasn't you in that coma, Abby; it happened to me!"

Abigail snorted.

"'D'you really believe that?"

Theresa shrugged; her shoulders slumped. Why couldn't her sister understand? She was a scientist, a believer of facts and a seeker of truth, always on the side of the undiscovered. An inherent curiosity creature lived inside her brain, housed in her skull, fed on her neurons, and for months now it had been aided by a second creature that was slowly drilling holes into her heart, scarring the outer reaches of her soul. It was dark there, cold.

Truth? It had never just been about the how; it had always been about the why.

"I have so many questions, and nobody has been able to give me any answers! Why can't you understand that?"

Abigail scoffed.

"Why can't you understand that I'm right here? Right now. Why do you insist on chasing ghosts; aren't the living enough?"

Theresa stared, her stomach in knots. It wasn't fair; it wasn't true.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Abby."

Abigail let out a low frustrated growl, clenching her fists together in futile surrender.

"Yeah, me too," she said, then thundered down the hallway, shoving hard past Eloise as she reached for her coat.

"Good luck with this hag," she threw over her shoulder, leaving the which unsettled.

The loud bang of the door shutting closed momentarily shocked through the corridor, shaking the furniture before it resettled.

Theresa sighed.

"Tea?"

"Please."

With a heavy heart she made for the kitchen, uncaring of Eloise following. These fights had been getting more and more intense of late. Last week she'd even scanned open ads online for available flats in the surrounding area. It would break Abigail's heart if she moved out, but she simply couldn't take it anymore.

"This had better be worth my time, Eloise."

The old woman had followed her into the kitchen, and sat down at the table; Theresa reached for the kettle.

"Daniel's dead," Eloise said.

If there was a way to get straight to the point, then surely Eloise Hawking had just nailed it. Theresa whirled around; the kettle fell in the sink, water clattering off of it.

"He died on an island in the South Pacific Ocean in late 1977."

"1977?"

"I buried him myself."

"What?!"

"I shot my son in 1977," Eloise said it with such cold conviction it made it hard for Theresa to sympathize. Not a tear or tremor burst through her poised expression, stoic figure; it was like looking at a robot talking about murders yet committed.

Theresa closed the tap, leaned her palms on the counter; her back curving under the weight of a thousand questions. She asked only one:

"You're sure about this?"

"Positive."

She turned around; the making of tea; the cooking of water, all but forgotten.

"He did it then."

"If you're referring to his experiments, breaking through the barriers of space time," Eloise rolled her eyes, air quoting the words. "Then, yes, and no, I suppose."

Theresa slowly lowered herself into the chair on the opposite side of the table, her focus never having been sharper.

"What do you mean?"

"He traveled through time, but he wasn't the one who made it happen."

Over the next hour Eloise spoke of events that started with a plane crash on a beach in 2004, and ended with a riffle deep in the woods in 1977. All through her monologue Theresa refrained from asking questions. Instead, she sat with her hands crossed in her lap, her heart slamming against her chest as the old woman revealed all that Theresa ever wanted and needed to know. Daniel had lived and died, becoming part of an immense paradox that defied all reality known to mankind.

It occurred to her that any other person would have referred Eloise to the closest mental institution in the Aylesburg, but not her. For she knew that it was possible. They'd researched the brain's ability to travel; why not the whole body?

"Why do I get the sense that you're not just here to tell me that Daniel's gone?" Theresa said after Eloise had finished.

"Because he's not."

Theresa frowned.

"You just told me your past self killed your future son; how he is not gone?"

Eloise smiled and reached for her purse, pulling from it a leather-bound journal, Daniel's journal.

"I want you to take a look at this, and ring me once you've made up your mind."

She placed a card on the table, a foreign number written on it in black ink.

She stood.

"It's my personal number; I will not ignore you this time."

She placed a hand on top of Theresa's.

"What do you want me to make up my mind about?" Theresa asked.

"Thank you for the tea," she said by way of reply, then she walked out of the kitchen, down the hall, and blew out of the house on a Western wind.

The kettle, wet from water, untouched on its side in the sink.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I know this chapter was way different! But it's all part of the story, it will make sense later on! I put some nice Easter eggs in this one, though. I'm curious to see if you guys can find and unwrap them! Let me know! I'm super curious!

Again, thank you all so much for the comments and warm messages on the previous chapter. It blows my mind that even one person would read this story, let alone several! Words really can't express how much I appreciate it.

And because I'm so grateful, I'll reveal to you that the next chapter will be set in Dharma Town again, and will include some much needed Suliet!

Thanks again! And hopefully I'll see you in the next chapter ;)

FYI: all of the characters who appeared in this chapter were on the show at some point or another. None of them were fabricated by me, but I did take some liberties with them, and expanded upon their respective story lines.

[gaycrouton]

Devotion

Words of Love 4/27

Devotion: (noun) love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause. [Mulder was nothing, if not devoted to his partner...which was probably why he was carrying her drunken, sleeping body right now]

Mulder never hid from the facts, even if they framed him in a less than favorable light. He was well-aware of the fact he was a man driven by obsession. For as long as he could remember, he could never just casually like something; he would become wholeheartedly devoted .

In the years prior to Samantha’s abduction, he spent his days in fanboy splendor. Each week when a new Star Trek episode came on, he would sit in front of the screen, absolutely enamored with the lavish fantasies of galaxies undiscovered. He would methodically spend the days between episodes rewriting the one he just saw. Exploring everything from the dynamics of the crew to the cultures of the creatures. He could still remember the Spock costume he spent hours creating, wearing it beyond what was deemed appropriate.

He was able to multitask though, just as many hours spent in the fantasy world, he spent an equal amount grossing over the recent baseball scores. From the major league to the local junior league, he was absolutely captivated with the performances and would spend hours recreating the games in his mind, only using the score sheet as a guide.

However, after Samantha’s abduction, his obsession moved onto finding her, and finding out what happened, almost exclusively. He knew it wasn’t healthy, but it was all he could focus on. Well, it was all he used to be able to focus on. It was an irony he was having a hard time grasping. His most recent point of focus, constantly at the forefront of his mind, was the one thing helping him to become less obsessive and compulsive. He was finally able to look at the world through more than a cryptic lens. Is this a new obsession, or is this what love is? Regardless, all he knew was that he was hopelessly devoted to Dana Katherine Scully.

The petite powerhouse came into his life six years ago and he has never been the same. Whenever he thought about the man he was before meeting her, he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed in himself. He wouldn’t take back a moment he spent searching for Samantha, regardless of how much he had lost, because inevitably it was what led him to Scully, but his life had been so monotonous. He had been living solely for the purpose of chasing, what he now felt to be, a ghost.

He didn’t know when his life’s purpose switched from sulking in the past into investing in the future, but he knew Scully was at the heart of the change. He thinks it was when he first saw her cry after he pulled the trigger during the Modell incident. It dawned on him that, for what seemed like the first time, someone would truly be upset if he died. He didn’t mean to sound morose. He knew the Lone Gunmen and maybe even Skinner would be sad, but Scully’s life would change. She would be devastated. Since then, when he wakes up in the morning, he wants to be a better man for her. God, that sounds so cheesy.

He would do absolutely anything for her; which is probably why he was carrying a completely inebriated Scully to her apartment right now.

Scully asking him for a favor was rare. In fact, aside from this singular instance, he didn’t know if it had ever happened before. When she initially asked him, he couldn’t hide his amusement at how flustered she was about it. Her friend was getting married, and she needed a date.

“Are you asking me to go with you?” Her gaze in response to him screamed ‘tease me and you die.’

“If you aren’t busy, I would really appreciate you accompanying me.” She was trying to hide the fact she was asking him on a date under a veil of professionalism. The only signal she was nervous was the blush she couldn’t shake off her cheeks.

Deciding not to make her recant her request by teasing too much, he readily agreed, “I’d love too.” She gave him a 100 watt Scully-smile and he felt his heart hammer in his chest.

She gave Mulder the time and instructions and he spent the rest of the week fantasizing about their impending date. He knew it was a date in the platonic sense of the word, but it didn’t stop the pride that welled up in his chest every time he remembered she chose him. Scully was a very beautiful woman. He had been present to witness men flirting with her more times than we was comfortable with. He knew it would be so easy for her to ask anyone she wanted, but she wanted to spend the occasion with him.

For the first time in longer than he could remember, he fussed over his appearance. He wanted to make the most of this occasion, and he didn’t want her to regret asking him. Mulder didn’t think he was ugly by any means, he knew he was at least average and his suits were always nice and presentable, but now knowing he was about to pick up Scully, he could only focus on the crease that wouldn’t even out on his shirt and the pronounced nose that had been a grievance to him since puberty. He sighed, figuring this was the best it was going to get, and left to go pick up Scully.

When she opened the door, he was positive this had to be an elaborate plan to get him into an early grave. Mulder was not well versed in the terminologies of women’s fashion. She was wearing, what he could best explain to be, a very sexy sundress. It was a dark emerald, beautifully contrasting her hair while simultaneously highlighting her eyes. The dress plunged down her breastbone and it was near backless. The simple straps over her shoulders became an elaborate criss-cross pattern on her back, going so far down it revealed her tattoo.

Her hair was in a similar style to what she wore to work, the only difference being that she allowed her natural curls to be present instead of straightening them out. She was absolutely radiant and it made Mulder want to cry.

They spent the ceremony in comfortable companionship. Though with the added benefit of her occasional touches and hushed whispers. He was glad to know that she knew just about as many people here as he did. It was a dear friend’s wedding, but a dear friend she hadn’t seen in over a decade. So she used him to pass the time in between events. Asking him different odds and ends questions as he returned the same to her. He realized it was humorous halfway through; they could describe how each other’s moods would shift after x-amount of time in a car, how much energy one cup of coffee could provide the other, provide a detailed list of each other’s medical histories, but they didn’t know any of the basics.

While they were sitting in the pews, waiting for the bride and company to get to the chapel and for the wedding march to organize, they took turns asking each other things they didn’t know. Mulder reveled every minute of it, cherishing the new facts he learned like he cherished those baseball scores all those years ago.

Her favorite season was autumn because she loves watching the trees change colors and hearing the leaves crunch beneath her feet. She has an eclectic taste in music, but if she had to choose, her favorites would be Tori Amos and Radiohead. When she was young, she had an irrational fear of clowns. One of his favorite new tidbits of information was that when she was fifteen, Scully let a friend pierce her belly button. She was able to hide it for a year, but when her dad found out, he made her take it out. She’s always wanted to get it redone. Mulder couldn’t shake his amusement at the thought of a rebellious, teenage Scully.

He listened to her words in complete rapture as if she was reciting scripture. Each new anecdote helped him understand his enigma of a partner. He offered answers to her questions too, not wanting to be unfair, and he was flattered to see her equally as interested. It was during the reception when she took him by surprise.

He wouldn’t say Scully never drank, he definitely had seen her indulge in a glass of wine or two in the past, but never had he seen her drink to the point of slurring and stumbling. Retrospectively, it was kind of his fault. She had teased him that she could drink him under the table any day. He insisted that, even though he never drank, his body mass compared to her petite frame would make it easy for him to beat her in a drinking contest. As she sat the first pair of shots down in front of them, she reminded him she was Irish, and the rest was history.

He had to admit, the woman could drink. Every time he flicked his head back and let the amber liquid poor down his throat, it took every fiber of his pride to keep from visually wincing. She, on the other hand, took each shot like a champ, displaying no discomfort whatsoever. Initially the only sign she actually took the shot was the flush that spread across her chest.

After the sixth shot he was feeling pretty buzzed, when he turned to tell her so, he saw she was resting her head on a bended arm, giving him a lazy smile.

“I think I’m ready to concede Scully, I don’t want to let myself get too forgone.”

“I toldja I’d w-win,” she gloated, adorable hiccups breaking apart her slurs.

Mulder felt a grin spread across his face when he realized his normally-reserved Scully was absolutely drunk.

“I may have conceded, but if we evaluate who the drunker is here, I believe that would be you my dear,” he mused, earning him a girlish giggle.

“Whatever you s-say Muldy.” She raise herself from her slouch and moved to rest a hand on top of one of his own. “Muldy, will you dan-ce with me. Just this once? Pleeeassee,” she drew out the last word and jutted her bottom lip out in a pout.

He laughed at his new nickname and couldn’t say no to that face. He grasped the hand that had been clutching onto his and prompted her to stand with him. As soon as she stood up, he was supporting most of her weight. Her head rested on his chest and she swayed on unsteady feet.

“I’m not sure if dancing is in your ability range at the moment,” he laughed, relishing in the normally forbidden contact.

“That’s-s okay. We can jus’ rhythmically hug. I like this,” she disentangled her hand from his and hugged him around the middle, grinning into his torso.

“Rhythmically hug?” He laughed, but didn’t put up any resistance. He crossed his arms on her shoulder blades and rested his cheek on the crown of her head. He was enjoying the swaying even though he wasn’t sure whether it was the ‘rhythmic’ part or the hug or if it was just impossible for her to stay still.

They stayed like that for a while until he felt her drooping more and more in his grasp. Taking a glance down to look at her face, he noticed she was starting to fall asleep.

“Scully?” He nudged.

“Hmmm?”

“Let’s go outside, I’ll get us a cab so I can take you home.”

“Okie dokie Muldy.”

Now, here he was carrying a very inebriated Scully, bridal style, up to her apartment. She was out like a light as soon as they got into the cab, and it took some skill and balance to get her out without waking her up. Mulder had to admit, of all the times he’s imagined a scenario like this, she wasn’t a limp sack of potatoes in his arms. And he wasn’t taking her to bed for sleep.

It took a bit longer than usual, but he was able to unlock the apartment door, pull back the covers, remove her heels, and tuck her into bed. He didn’t know if she’d be mad that she slept in her dress, but he wasn’t going to violate her privacy by changing her.

“Goodnight, Scully,” he whispered after pressing his lips to her forehead in a gentle kiss.

As he turned to leave, he felt a small hand reach out and grab onto his fingers. Turning around he met her gaze through sleep-hung lids.

“I love you,” she sighed with a smile.

His heart jumped to his throat and he brushed some stray hair behind her ear. “I love you too Scully, and I always will.”

He left the room with a final smile that took hours to leave his face.

He couldn’t help it. When it can to Scully, he would be eternally devoted.