#it was genuinely such a special experience

[lotuswish]

what loving you feels like to them [pt. 1 - scarabia]

featured character(s): jamil viper, kalim al-asim.

summary: ever wondered what it feels like for each twisted wonderland boy to fall in love with you? this series uncovers their feelings, influenced by their personalities, experiences, and desires. follow me to catch the next part!

cw: none.

a/n: my first post w my favorite boys <3 revised and reposted from my other acc, @jamilvapologist.

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jamil viper

loving you feels like both a rebellion and a sanctuary for jamil viper.

it’s rebellion because love, for him, is not something he was meant to indulge in freely. his life has been carefully calculated, structured around duty, subservience, and suppression of his desires. loving you feels like stepping out of the shadows that have defined him for so long, daring to claim something for himself in a world where his needs have always come second. it’s a quiet act of defiance against the chains of expectation, a decision to prioritize his own heart over the demands of others.

but loving you is also a sanctuary, a space where jamil doesn’t need to perform or conceal. around you, he feels seen—not as kalim’s attendant, not as scarabia’s vice housewarden, not as the person constantly managing everyone else’s chaos—but simply as himself. it’s an unfamiliar vulnerability that both terrifies and exhilarates him. you are his reprieve from a life of pretending, the one who notices when he’s tired without him needing to say it, the one who knows when he craves comfort instead of perfection.

loving you is not easy for him. it feels like a constant push-and-pull between his guarded instincts and the growing need to trust you, to let you see the cracks in his composed exterior. at times, it feels selfish, as though he’s stealing moments of happiness that don’t belong to him. yet, the warmth of your presence, the way you genuinely care, reminds him that this love is not a burden but a gift.

for jamil, loving you feels like breathing fresh air after years of suffocation. it’s freedom and fear. it’s knowing that, for the first time, he has something—someone—he’s terrified of losing. and even though it scares him, he cannot imagine a life without you. you are his rebellion. you are his sanctuary. you are the one thing he wants to keep, no matter the cost.

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kalim al asim

loving you feels like sunshine to kalim al-asim—warm, boundless, and all-encompassing. it feels like something that’s always been there, waiting for him to reach out and hold it, like the happiness he’s known all his life but brighter, deeper, and more profound. kalim has always been surrounded by laughter and love, but loving you is different. it’s not the easy affection of a family feast or the shallow camaraderie of a crowd. it’s personal. it’s intimate. it’s you, and that makes it special in a way he can’t put into words.

for someone whose life has been filled with excess—wealth, luxury, and abundance—kalim has always craved something that couldn’t be bought or given to him out of duty: genuine connection. loving you feels like finally finding the one thing he’s been missing, the piece that makes everything else meaningful. it’s the way you see him for who he is, not as the heir to the asim family fortune or the endlessly cheerful boy who never seems to have a care in the world, but as kalim. you see him when he feels invisible, and that makes his love for you limitless.

loving you feels effortless and endless, but it also makes him vulnerable in a way he’s never experienced before. for someone who has always been generous to a fault, giving all of himself to you comes naturally, but for the first time, he realizes how much it hurts to be scared of losing someone. he’s not used to fear, but the thought of you slipping away leaves him restless. it makes him treasure every moment, every laugh, every time you smile at him like he’s your whole world.

loving you feels like freedom. it’s dancing in the streets, laughing without restraint, and knowing that no matter where life takes him, as long as you’re there, he’ll be happy. you make him feel like he doesn’t have to prove anything or live up to anyone’s expectations. loving you is joy in its purest form, a happiness that doesn’t come from wealth or extravagance but from the simple, profound act of being with someone who truly loves him back.

for kalim, loving you feels like discovering that the world is even bigger, brighter, and more beautiful than he ever thought possible. it’s exhilarating and overwhelming, but he embraces it without hesitation, because that’s who he is. loving you is a gift, one he cherishes with his whole heart, and he’ll do anything to make sure you feel the same.

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congrats, you made it to the end! if you enjoyed reading this, likes, follows, and reblogs are always appreciated! :)

[k-tarotz]

Hii im curious if Sunghoon prefers fancy dates over simple dates? thank youu

hold on because this is so cute 🤧

what kind of dates does sunghoon prefer?

the star, king of pentacles, two of pentacles, the devil, eight of swords

a man of romance, let’s go

so, first of all I do think he prefers for the date to be beautiful but not necessarily fancy

I think he does want it to build up, slowly bit by bit. First going to a cafe, then walking around town, then going on a flower field or picnic, and it continuously becoming better and better until they realise it’s already night and time to go home.

He seems to be very idealistic and pure when it comes to dates! His vision is like the dates you see in dramas lmao, I do believe this is because he prefers serious, long lasting and committed relationships! I am not saying he is completely inexperienced, but definitely inexperienced enough for his heart to long for a pure and kind love that doesn’t turn into a heartbreak. His kind of love seems mature but very dreamy, full of love.

I don’t think he cares about fancy dates at all, as long as him and his date can have fun together and genuinely have a nice conversations and memories with one another.

It’s not that he will say no, but he seems to date seriously; when he is in love with someone, and if he is in love he doesn’t care about where they spend their time with one another but rather just appreciates the fact that they can be together in the first place.

He wants to experience the little things other people might find corny because to him it’s romantic and cute, something warm, you know?

There also seems to be highlight on it staying pure and warm? He seems to find it incredibly disgusting when people go on dates just to have sex, whether they are in a relationship or just casual. (No, I am not exaggerating.) He seems to be bothered by the fact because in his eyes, if someone immediately wants to end their date with sex they didn’t care for making a soul connection in the first place and just wanted to use the other person for their body, they just wanted to objectify them. He finds that gross.

He doesn’t find sex within healthy boundaries gross, but he does seem to find casual sex and using other people for their body disrespectful, gross and a huge turn on.

That’s why I said that he is quite pure, when he thinks of dates he has the desire to go on them to have quality time, make his partner happy and be loved.

Aside from that, he thinks a healthy balance of both cute and fancy date is good, but prefers cute. In his mind fancy seems to be for special occasions like anniversaries or valentines, otherwise it might be a waste of money to go on them all the time because you cannot get as close to each other during them as you could on ‘proper’ dates! (I don’t think he likes valentines too much tho)

So deep inside his heart he is a lover boy

That’s all, real cute 🤧

– Candy

[newwavesylviaplath]

omg okay ik my blog isn't abt this kind of stuff but i need to have a written account of exactly what happened when i saw comedy bang bang live last night before i forget the details. it was like crazy funny like my neck started to hurt from laughing after a while. i also totally freaked out when jason mantzoukas came on cuz i absolutely love that man and seeing him right in front of me was crazy. the show was really good and after i lined up to meet some of the performers which was super sick. i met brett morris first and he was like 'hi im brett morris' and i was like 'OMG I KNOW!!! i love who charted' and he was all 'oh that's great i'll tell howard!!' and then we talked a little abt how im visiting la from canada and i totally forgot to mention how much i love his band mister heavenly so that kind of sucks but whatever it's fine. after that i talked to vic michaelis who is literally the sweetest sweetheart on the planet and they're from a town that's a pretty short distance from where i am (and went to a university that's also really close) so we talked about that and it was actually so nice!!! then i got to meet paul f tompkins and scott aukerman and pft and i talked abt toronto and he literally had this like warm energy im not sure how to put it but talking to him felt like such a genuine experience and i got so nervous i told him i liked his glasses 😭😭 also meeting scott was literally the best ever he asked me what my name was and when i told him he was like 'camryn so like camera with an n' and i was like 'yeah that' and he laughed a teeny bit which was a huge ego boost and then i told him abt how i started listening to cbb when i was in like middle school and im abt to go to college and he asked me what i was planning on majoring in and i said photography and he said 'oh like cameras??' and i said 'no like camryn without the n' (i know very funny) and then i got a picture w them and the lady who took it (i assumed she worked for the venue or was like a part of the touring company) was like 'omg i'm nervous cuz ur an expert' and scott was like 'YEAH ASK CAMRYN FOR HER ADVICE' and i got really flustered but then either scott or paul (was too nervous to make note) said something along the lines of 'well she hasn't gone to college YET' and we took a few photos and the lady was like 'omg these are so cute' and scott and paul were like 'wow she hasn't described any of these photos as cute before' and then i thanked them and paul said he'd see me in canada and they were just the coolest i literally could not stop smiling like my face hurt after leaving. absolute 10/10 experience i was so scared i was gonna end up sobbing or freezing but all i did was shake a teensy bit which i consider a huge win. anyways scott and paul love u both u made my week actually tysm

[squoobest]

i had the most splitting headache during frostyfest tonight that all i could do to channel my thoughts about it was draw big man snow angel

[sirmanmister]

Hey guys!! I’m pretty sure the majority of you are from mainland America so you don’t have the opportunity to see the northern lights, like, ever. Tonight you can!! Possibly. There’s a pretty severe geomagnetic storm going on and it’ll be hitting pretty darn south and a whole crap ton of people that have never seen northern lights, might be able to see them!!

I highly encourage everyone in the red/yellow lines to try to take a look tonight! I grew up with northern lights literally in my backyard and they’re just such a pleasant sight to see. According to the weather network it’ll go down as far as Alabama!

[uncanny-tranny]

The absolute biggest thing I've learned as a trans guy: there is nothing more masculine and manly than not caring about looking or acting masculine or manly. Growing your masculinity or manhood takes time and care - you have no obligation to let the world water your garden when you can do that just fine (and you can, even if it doesn't feel like you can!)

[kishdoodles]

Happy New Year! 2025's Davesprite is here :3

I was afraid I wouldn't be able to make a Davesprite I liked in time for new years, but I think I managed to pull it off! Hope everyone has a good year ahead! ^_^

Previous yearly Davesprites: 2014 - 2024

[blueskittlesart]

deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao

not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad

[autisticaradiamegido]

thoughts on dave and aradia (<>)?

day 356

BIG fan tbh. in this house we love and respect timerails

truly yall read this log and tell me theyre not cute

[jojo-schmo]

How did you come up with roleswap Elfilis' design? It's really cool!

Hi! Thank you so much! :D I'd love to share my thought process! Gather round the armchair by the fireplace, friends! It's story time!

I've said before that the Forgotten Land Roleswap started off as a doodle that swapped Dedede and Bandana Dee's roles as Player 2 and the Brainwashed Beast. But when I realized how fun that one little change was, how about EVEN MORE changes? That's how my one-time doodle turned into the full AU story. I swapped Meta Knight and Kirby, Clawroline and Leongar, and Sillydillo and Gorimondo- and because the story is so Waddle-Dee centric, I promoted Dedede to "Player 1" since the stakes would be higher for him as their King.

So now I had a story that had a lot of opposite traits to canon and I wanted to explore that further! When it came to the matter of Elfilin, I thought he would probably behave too similarly towards Dedede and Meta as he did to Kirby and Bandee. He'd be friendly and trusting, communicative, optimistic, knowledgeable, and cooperative. So how about providing them a travel companion who is defensive, has trouble communicating, a little wild, uninformed about themselves and the world around them, and has a bit of a temper?

But working with all these opposite traits didn't feel in-character for Elfilin anymore. So my natural next step was to swap Elfilin with Elfilis and make a new version of the Forgotten Land's lost little pup!

Enough yapping about the context behind my decisions, tho. How'd I come up with Roleswap Elfilis' design?

I see you out there, Fecto Forgo fans. Maybe somebody out there's thought, "Roleswap Elfilis does not look like them! Why not? That's what the other 50% of the Ultimate Life Form looks like! I demand justice for the angry glowing rat fetus!"

Maybe nobody has ever thought this. But I wonder sometimes lol

Your feelings are valid, friends. Please lemme explain my reasonings.

This fella, to me, is the abandoned wet specimen left to float in a jar for who-knows-how-long after a forcible physical and mental separation via spatial teleportation shenanigans. And I think part of their appearance is due to their role as the trapped and forgotten half.

The role of the half that got away fully formed his own body and inherited some traits from the complete being-

For Elfilin in canon, he got ears that are proportionally huge compared to the rest of his body, blue eyes that sparkle with the light of a thousand destroyed planets, a tiny bit of pink fur for his adorable blushies, and a really long fluffy tail. Maybe becoming a being free of chaos gave him those sweet eyes like Kirby and the Waddle Dees have.

My reasoning is that whichever half ends up escaping the Lab and fully forming their own body, they would carry the major physical traits the other wouldn't inherit.

Anyway, that left Elfilis with the horns, colorful and expressive eyes, whiskers, beige chest fluff, opposable thumbs, and pink tummy fur.

Elfilin gets the long tail in the bodily divorce so Elfilis has a short stubby little cotton tail like a bunny. Like if he ended up with just the very tip of the Ultimate Life Form's tail.

Behold this diagram above I came up with two years ago! Disclaimer: the canon Elfilin is the one in the chart. And I draw him a little differently these days lol. I ain't showing anyone how he ended up in the Roleswap yet tho!!!! >:0

But Roleswap Elfilis is more than just "baby version of the Ultimate Life Form..."

All the differences in the Forgotten Land Roleswap from canon stem from one event in the timeline. One change that I added to the events that were already supposed to take place. It's why the Ultimate Life Form split differently. Why the Beasts have different roles and aesthetics. Even why the portal took Bandana Dee and Kirby before Meta Knight and King Dedede.

How did that saying go again? The flap of wings somewhere can influence a bunch of huge changes somewhere else down the line...? What was the name of that theory again....? Hmm. Not important, I guess.

Anyway, the end!! You sly dog, you got me monologuing!!1! /lighthearted

[thegreatyin]

How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable

there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??

a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!

i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.

i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-

hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.

the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.

[ranticore]

Have you watched Arcane? I only ask because the second series is coming out in November and the first one was fucking spectacular - genuinely the best thing I've ever watched, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time and I'm so excited for the second series - and I'd like to hear your thoughts on it. The tragedy, the writing, the animation, the immaculate execution of everything *chefs kiss* 10/10 would highly recommend if you haven't seen it.

i thought it was fine! arcane was very funny with how bad the surface level oppression metaphor is but let's be real i didn't watch it for the writing i watched it so that i could look at something pretty and go ahh how pretty

i could say a lot about my thoughts on it but overall it's mixed. i didn't like the setting or most of the characters, i did like the release schedule, and obviously i liked the animation. 99% of the show's appeal is in its animation, colour direction, composition etc. a lot of it falls flat if you aren't invested in the two main plots (the sisters & whatever the hell jace and viktor are at) and i didn't really like either of those stories. i liked silco & mel tho, i feel like it's probably no coincidence that the more interesting characters were original to the show & not from league of legends.

[pastafossa]

Charlie Cox experience at Philly Fan Expo 2023

So LET”S TALK ABOUT ME MEETING CHARLIE. I’m actually going to make two posts - this one just about my experiences with Charlie, because they were incredibly meaningful and deserve their own post, and then another one about the rest of the con!

I’m going to talk about Charlie first, because of how amazing the experience was, one of the best I’ve had, especially at the autograph table. I’ve done photos, gotten autographs and such before from other celebs - from niche voice actors I loved to people like David Tennant - but this felt Really Really Big. Obviously, I was nervous as all hell because holy shit Charlie Cox, my favorite actor whose work altered the course of my life. I won’t lie - I’d been practicing what to say to him in case I freaked out, but I’m happy to say that everyone who reassured me it would go great, because he was so, so genuine and kind, were right.

The photo op happened first (and thank you to everyone on tumblr guiding me where to go, cause I was LOST about where that was happening), and that went fast. By that point in the con hall, I’d already ditched my Jessica Jones jacket and gloves cause holy shit it’s hot and I am a creature of snow and ice, and my hair was a mess, but honestly I didn’t care, cause there he is. You don’t get long, but he made the most of it and he was SO sweet. Ya’ll, he asked my name, said my name as he shook my hand, and called me ‘my dear’ in that beautiful voice.

I was literally on the moon, but it was time for the big question:

Will he hold the red thread from TRT?

So in a quiet, nervous, soft author voice, I asked, ‘would you be ok with holding this end of the thread?’

HE FUCKING DID.

HE HELD IT.

HE HELD. THE. RED. THREAD.

I’m fairly certain he doesn’t know about the fic at this point - he wasn’t sure where to hold it until I told him, but he loved that it lit up! AND THEN HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME AND I GOT TO PUT MY ARM AROUND HIM BACK.

I’m fairly certain I’m dead in the photo. My soul had left my body. I had ascended. I saw Jesus and he looked like Charlie. I had achieved fic author heights never imagined. My brain filled with enough serotonin and dopamine to sink a ship. I didn’t care that I was hot and sweaty or that my hair was messy or that my cosplay didn’t work out like I’d planned. I had been blessed.

also look at that forearm holy shit

I floated outta that gd room ya’ll. I’m pretty sure @wonderlandmind4​ did the same. WE FROLICKED OUT OF THAT HALL LIKE

But things got even better at the autograph table, and I had one of the most touching experiences ever.

not me tearing up thinking about it.

That line was long, but I kept getting glimpses of him and I could already tell he was enjoying interacting with people, and he was making sure everyone got their bit of time with him instead of letting anyone rush people through. He was so happy looking, laughing and grinning, high fives and fist bumps for kids, chatting with fans. Which made me feel a little more confident.

I know some people wondered if I’d tell him about TRT, and I’d already decided I wasn’t going to. Instead, I really, really wanted just a second to tell him what his work as Daredevil had meant for me, as someone who became disabled around the same time Matt did as a kid, and who related to... a lot of what Matt went through in the show. I’d practiced it over and over again, and there was only a fifty percent chance I wouldn’t start crying while telling him, and I wasn��t even sure I’d have time to tell him depending on how much time we had.

He made time.

I got up to him with my art print holy shit he’s even more beautiful in person and his eyes are STUNNING. He said hi, and asked my name so he could personalize the autograph if I wanted (DUH, YES PLEASE), and he apologized about the line after we shook hands. I jokingly told him it was fine since I’d driven hours to get here. A little time in line wasn’t a bother. He even loved one of the buttons on my lanyard - the button of Matt wearing a heart crown specifically! And as he was writing, I knew this was my chance to tell him. He was still signing, so I just decided to go for it in case I ran out of time.

“I just wanted to tell you,” I said quietly, “as someone who became disabled as a kid around the same age as Matt did—”

And then he did something I didn’t expect, something I’d rarely seen anyone do, famous or not, and something I’d never had an actor or artist do for me.

He immediately set down the pen, leaned in close over the table, and made direct eye contact, while giving me the most genuine, gentle, encouraging smile I’d ever seen.

In that moment, I knew everything in him was listening, that he cared about what I was about to say and recognized that this was important to me, and that he’d closed the distance to make this conversation just... us. It felt personal in a way I’ve never experienced at a con or signing.  

Just like that, I wasn’t afraid to tell him what I’d wanted to.

“And as someone who related to... a lot of what Matt went through, his struggles in the show, and especially the dark parts of season 3,” I said, more confidently now, “I wanted you to know that all the work you put in, the way you played it, the way you played Matt and treated it seriously, seeing that helped me process and heal from a lot of my own trauma and pain over what I’ve gone through with my illnesses. What you did was important and it really helped me. So I wanted you to know that, how much that meant to me, and to say thank you.”

The whole time I spoke to him, he kept direct eye contact, and didn’t look away once. He didn’t get antsy, or look like he wanted me to hurry up (which I’d have understood, cause damn, these are long days for him). He listened, fully engaged and leaning in, his eyes warm and soft and kind but incredibly serious. I’m not sure how often he’s been told something like this—a lot, I expect; his portrayal was just that good, and I know it was important to a lot of fans—but what I was trying to tell him clearly meant something to him. I felt heard, seen, and understood.

Charlie really does care about his fans. It isn’t an act. I’m sure of it now.

“Thank you, truly,” he said, just as quietly but with that honest smile, eye crinkles and all, and seeing it in person, that close up, I swear the room felt ten times brighter. “Thank you for coming to tell me that. It means a lot, the idea that something I did meant so much and that it could help you. I’m so grateful that you were able to come visit and tell me.”

We shook hands after that. He wished me a good day and I told him thank you again, and that was that. The interaction only lasted maybe a minute, but it meant the absolute world to me, as did what he’s done as Daredevil. And now he knows that.

[kyouka-supremacy]

(╥﹏╥)

[lovelyrotter]

yknow i love transmasc/tboy dirk always and forever but the way some ppl treat transmascness vs transfemmeness in HS's narrative........kinda sucks. like the whole thing about how being transfeminine is a literal transient experience and lets the character in question (any character) truly escape the oppression of HS's narrative-as-a-character which is patriarchal and toxic (lord english, hussie-the-character to an extent. i guess. idk ive seen a lotta ppl lump SI-hussie in w/ this), which is great and does hold weight as an analytical lens esp with how hussie irl is nonbinary. but where does this leave transmasc characters. why are we treating (headcanoned) transfemme HS characters like this and then tbh gleefully dooming (headcanoned) transmasc characters to eternal narrative suffering brought by LE and then mocking them for being ''gross tboys'' full of ''icky testorerone'' so its their fault theyre in this perpetual torment really? because they ''''chose to be a man''''? dunno man its starting to feel bad. especially since some bnf's who are really into this fan theory do actually kinda treat the general idea of transmasculinity like somthing to hold with tongs at arms length away from them. as if its alien or infectous or something and then get really mad when equally dysphoric transmascs do the same with feminity. why are we dooming dirk strider to eternal toxic-masculine suffering and what does that say about how we treat real life transmasc folks both in and outside of the fandom

[good-beans]

(Milgram self-insert oc masterpost hehe)

Name: For the sake of posting online I’ll call her Rose!

Color: #E7355B [the pink in the art]

Age: I guess she’d be 20 given when Milgram started huh.

Status: Milgram Staff, Machine Technician

Symbols/imagery: ballet/musical theater, science experiments

Song genre: very similar to Mahiru's, something upbeat and extra pop-y

Tentatively she's number 011? She's not really prisoner but she's also not free to come and go, so I'm not actually sure if she'd get a number (Edit: I've decided she'll actually be 012. Staff is given the 01X range, and even though Es doesn't actively have a number they'd be staff member 011, making her 012.)

Story: Since the project is supposed to be realistic/present day, the mv machine would be brand new and unpredictable tech, so they’d want someone keeping up on maintenance and making sure the brain-invasive process won’t cause any harm to the prisoners. Rose was studying abroad in Japan working on some cool neuroscience tech (irl I know nothing about technology or brains but shh) and she stumbled upon some secret tech/plans from Milgram. Long story short, she was dragged into the experiment to make sure things ran smoothly.

Writer's Reasoning: She’s really fun for me to play around with, as she allows me to work with a character who has a tiny bit of pull over Es’ mindset in conversation but not the final decision (aka mirroring the voting system), and someone who is simultaneously trapped in the prison but has a reason to see all the canon content.* I really enjoy the character interactions and dynamics Milgram has set up so far, so it’s been super fun seeing how things change for better and worse when someone not quite aligned with either Milgram/the prisoners is thrown into the mix!

*As much as I love dramatic irony in fiction, it would drive me crazy if I knew every detail of of the vds/mvs but Rose didn't – and every single Milgram character is The Worst Communicator Ever so I couldn’t justify that she’d hear it secondhand from them...

Story roles:

She’s a bit conflicted -- she’s officially Milgram staff and knows she should remain neutral on the prisoners, since she won’t be allowed to interfere with the process/executions. At the same time, her job description is literally “make sure the machine doesn't hurt them and everyone's safe :)” and she's way too emotional to avoid getting hopelessly attached to everyone 😅

I really enjoy the theory that the machine extracts videos based off of priming, so one of Rose’s duties involves listening in on the interrogation and making sure there’s been enough material discussed/not too much time has passed overall (hence the ringing of the bell happening at different lengths for each vd -- That's her ringing it :3). She then watches the mvs along with Es to make sure there are no machine glitches, and know how to calibrate it better for next time.

(IEdit: I've since decided to add in official trial mvs, but before when I wasn't ready to tackle that:) She has to run some tests on the machine to make sure things are calibrated correctly, so she'd extract little things here and there. It gives me the opportunity to think up lyric snippets and recurring symbols for her without worrying about full encompassing music videos.

I'm not afraid to admit she can fall into Mary Sue territory every so often by being everyone's friend, because it's less about "aw everyone likes her" and more about "canon is too painful rn and I need a fix-it tool to take care of these guys and give them hugs and tell them someone forgives them and cares about them and unfortunately these characters wouldn't let anyone less than a friend do that." Rest assured she's definitely not perfect and will fuck everything up on occasion :3

Miscellaneous: Whenever I play around with normal au ideas she's still working on the machine (but in a public, more ethical setting), and she's Mahiru's roommate :) Her character isn't super focused on love, but if I had to pick a cover song it'd be Stickybug II. It's very much my vibe, the lyrics fit well enough (better than most songs, at least lol) and it's one of my favorites out of my limited knowledge of unchosen Deco songs! (Edit, I've actually given her non-deco cover songs hehe)

So yeah, I hope she's not too boring without a cool crime to decipher, but I wanted to share since I was really proud of her! It took a bit of tinkering to find a way to fit her into a perfect secret-third-thing role that runs very smoothly with all of canon, so I was very excited!