#it was funny but god it was also embarrassing

[mochiwonz]

― WE LISTEN AND WE DON'T JUDGE

PAIRING. fem!reader x bf!enhahyungline CONTENT. hyungline (heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon) headcanons , suggestive :3 , petnames , a little fluff..? NOTE. i find this trend so funny so i had to make this LOL i was actually gonna make a whole fic off of this idea but i'm lazy so...hope u enjoy ˃o˂ ♡

HEESEUNG

"hee, let's do this trend!" you say as you basically shove your phone in his face. he giggles, he found it cute how you always loved doing silly trends with him. but as he continues to watch the video, he's unsure. it's kind-of...TMI? he looks at you and you're cheesing ear to ear, fuck, he can't say no. "okay let's do it" he tells you while pulling you onto his chest. you click record and you both say "we listen and we don't judge" luckily, you end up going first, giving him time to think. however, his thoughts are cut short when he hears you say "i love your nose so much and sometimes i think about sitting on it" he doesn't know what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn't that. he's fucked.

JAY

"princess, have you seen that one trend on tiktok? the-" he asks but you quickly cut him off. "oh my god the we listen and we don't judge one? can we do it?!" you ask excitedly, obviously expectant. you both know he couldn't say no to his princess. unfortunately, maybe he should've said no, just this once. "we listen and we don't judge" you both say. "baby go firstt" you tell him, and he listens. "uhm- okay. when i had a crush on you i used to stalk your insta...?" jay says timidly while looking at you, and he notices a change in your expression when you realize it's your turn. "hm, okay. i screen record your voice on facetime calls so that i can uh...use it later...?" you're blushing a little, realizing you just exposed yourself like crazy. oh well, at least jay is blushing too!

JAKE

it's 2:50 am and you and jake are still awake, watching tiktoks on his bed while cuddling. jake comes across a trend, a familiar trend, and asks if you want to do it with him. of course, you say yes, this trend was so funny and you secretly wanted to do it with jake too! "we listen and we don't judge" you both say, and jake starts off. "when i'm in the shower i lather my body with soap and carve your initials in it" he admits while laughing from his embarrassment. you giggle "that's weird but also kinda cute" jake scoffs playfully "yeah yeah okay, your turn" you think for a little and hah, jake won't be ready for this one. "i had a dream that i gave you a blowjob a year ago and your dick was huge" you look up at jake and he's just staring at you, but next thing you know he's on top of you. you can imagine the rest <3

SUNGHOON

you had sent sunghoon a tiktok of a couple doing the "we listen and don't judge" trend and that had sparked an idea in his head. a few hours later after you arrived to his place, you remembered that you wanted to do that tiktok trend with him. sunghoon was so happy you brought it up- he had basically forgot. "okay hoon, you'll start?" you ask, and he nods. "okay, i get hard when you wear miniskirts." he says with a playful grin plastered onto his beautiful face. he immediately notices the change in your demeanor, and you grin back at him. you straddle his lap and end up catching him off guard. "so my plan with the miniskirts did work. nice!"

pls reblog if you enjoyed !! my other works can be found here

© mochiwonz ― all rights reserved. do not copy, steal, or translate my work.

[dan-the-womans-blog]

Title: Crack in Their Composure

Feeling a little better thought I'd post something funny

(Spencer Reid x fem!reader)

The first incident had been embarrassing enough. The team walking in to find Spencer shirtless, oiled up, and groaning under your care had provided them with enough ammunition for weeks of teasing. But even with all their jokes, Spencer was still Spencer—unflappable in most situations—and you both thought the worst was behind you.

You were wrong.

Spencer came home from another grueling case, this one involving multiple days on the road and more stress than usual. He walked into your shared home looking like he was carrying the weight of the world on his slender shoulders, which you noticed were slumped with tension.

“Babe,” you said softly, crossing the room to meet him. You cupped his cheek, and he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes. “You need another adjustment. You’re completely out of alignment again.”

He nodded without protest, too tired to argue. “You’re the best,” he murmured, letting you guide him to the office once more.

This time, you were determined to work out every knot, every misalignment. Spencer’s job might be to solve complex cases, but yours was to fix him afterward, both body and mind.

---

Meanwhile, the team, riding high after a case closed, decided once again to check in on their favorite genius. They’d teased him mercilessly last time, but Spencer’s reactions were half the fun.

“Think he’s going to yell at us this time?” Emily joked as they approached the house.

“Please,” Derek said with a grin. “Boy Wonder doesn’t yell. He pouts.”

Penelope giggled. “I just hope we get another peek at shirtless Spencer.”

“Oh my God, Garcia,” JJ muttered, laughing despite herself.

They knocked, but the door was unlocked. Derek pushed it open, calling out, “Reid! You home?”

No response.

The team wandered farther into the house, following the faint sound of conversation that led them to your office once again. As they reached the doorway, they were immediately greeted with Spencer’s voice—low, drawn-out, and laced with something suspiciously close to pleasure.

“Ohhh, God, Y/N… Right there… Do that again.”

The team froze.

“Spence, relax,” you said, your tone entirely professional. “I can’t get this spot if you keep tensing up.”

“Sorry, it just—ahhh! Oh, that’s the one,” Spencer groaned, his voice so borderline sinful that Derek and Emily exchanged wide-eyed looks.

“Is this… happening again?” JJ whispered, her hand covering her mouth.

“Guys,” Penelope hissed, fanning herself. “This is so much worse.”

But they couldn’t look away.

You were leaning over Spencer, your hands pressing into his back with practiced precision. This time, though, the team wasn’t met with just the sight of an oiled-up Spencer—they also heard the unmistakable, sharp crack of his spine realigning.

“Oh, wow,” Rossi muttered from the back of the group, clearly impressed despite himself.

“Holy… Did you hear that?” Emily whispered, her tone oddly fascinated.

“That sounded so satisfying,” Penelope admitted, biting her lip as another crack echoed through the room, followed by Spencer’s drawn-out groan of relief.

“Stop enjoying this so much,” JJ hissed, though her eyes remained glued to the scene.

Another series of cracks came, each one louder than the last, and the team collectively shuddered. It was oddly satisfying to hear, even as the situation screamed awkward.

Finally, you caught movement out of the corner of your eye and turned, your hands still on Spencer’s shoulder blades. “Oh, come on!” you exclaimed, glaring at the group.

Spencer lifted his head from the table, a blush already creeping up his neck. “Are you serious?”

“Listen,” Derek said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “I came here to clown on you, but I gotta admit—that cracking sound is amazing.”

“You guys have to stop walking in on us,” you said, gesturing at the door.

“You have to stop making it sound like—like that!” Emily shot back, pointing at Spencer, who groaned in embarrassment and dropped his face back into the cradle.

“You all clearly need to leave,” you said firmly, stepping back from the table and crossing your arms.

But Penelope clasped her hands together. “Y/N, just one question before we go.”

“What?” you asked, exasperated.

“Do you take appointments?”

"OUT!"

Spencer groaned louder, and this time, they burst out laughing.

[ghouljams]

how does one become free of insecurity? i’m already doing therapy but i feel i’ve only moved away from hating myself so much i want to d*e into just thinking everyone’s better than me

It's a long journey, but well worth it.

I don't think anyone is ever truly free of insecurity, but I think there's also a lot that is unpacked simply through the language we use to describe ourselves and the jokes we allow other people to make at our expense.

Therapy is great at helping you deal with the big feelings, but sometimes little things get caught in your head and it's hard to shake them. Here are some things that I do to keep myself feeling good, and also some things that I'm working on:

No suicide jokes. I make it a point never to joke about "oh I'll just kill myself" or anything like that because ultimately it just makes me feel worse and nobody finds it funny. It's also a good way to change your thinking and direct your solution brain away from "I'll just end things when shit gets hard." This one is a constant battle.

I compliment myself whenever I have the chance. I take every compliment someone gives me. I pretend to be vapid and self-absorbed. I make kissy faces at myself in the mirror. I tell other people how pretty I am, and I don't fucking care if they think I'm a stupid bimbo because I'm trying to love myself and that's more important.

Being kinder to my younger self. This one feels weird but I found myself being mean to little Ghoul when I was really sad. It feels easy to take out your anger on a kid that didn't know any better, and it doesn't guilt you because that's you that you're hating. But look. You were just a kid. You weren't stupid or ugly or unlovable or evil, you were a kid. I just caught myself calling my teenage self ugly the other day on my way to visit my mom and I had to stop and go "why am I saying this? I was just a kid." And it made me cry a li'l bit ngl, but if felt... idk it felt good in a way.

Don't let fucking anyone tell you, you're not worth it. Does your friend make jokes about how dumb you are? Or how you're so cringey? Or so embarrassing or bad at something or forgetful or WHATEVER? Yeah, fuck that noise. Tell them to stop doing that. Tell them it hurts your feelings and if they still don't stop they aren't your friend, they're your bully. I fucking hate bullies. Don't let anyone talk down to you, I don't care if it was a joke at first, it's not funny anymore. Fuck them.

This is something I'm working on, but when you start fixing one insecurity another will probably pop up. I've been working for a long time on liking how I look, and it's gone really well. But now I'm insecure about my intelligence. So I have to stop myself from calling myself stupid or not answering questions. I just fucking rocked my work trivia party, and Mr. Ghoul thinks I'm smart, so I just gotta keep track of my wins. Sometimes you realize that making yourself secure in one thing makes you insecure about another, but that's ok! There's a learning curve to all of this.

Everyone thinks everyone else is better than them. You don't have to be the best at everything, you don't even have to be the best at one thing! What's important is that you're doing your best. People notice when you're working hard, even if you're not churning out the best product because it means you care about it. Which brings me to

Done is better than perfect. Sure it would be great if you were God's most specialist soldier, but think about how much work that would be! Ok so you're not the world's best knitter, but the scarf you made your friend is their favorite scarf anyway because you made it. So you're not a world class writer, but you had a story in your head and you wrote it down. That's better than it never being written at all. Also just because you think it's bad doesn't mean other people won't think it's a masterpiece. Hell, half of the fics I wrote when I first started this blog I could write better now but that doesn't make them bad, it just means I've gotten better.

We as humans are constantly improving and evolving. Don't let who you are no stop you from striving towards who you'll be in the future. Taking one step down the path towards loving yourself is better than giving up and hating yourself forever. It's slow going, but man I've been doing this shit for a decade and I'm so much happier than I was at 18.

You might think that the more you improve the harder and faller you'll fall back to the bottom, but the lows don't get that low again. You're doing great. I'm proud of you.

[peachhcs]

https://www.tumblr.com/peachhcs/768315021606469633/httpswwwtumblrcompeachhcs768260981215330304

oh my god. i love them so much and im so glad they are doing better!

mack is so fucking funny… wait till he sees all the scratch and hickeys all over will…

part 12/slight bonus! writing macklin's dialogue and banter is my favorite thing to do bc he obviously loves will and samy and loves to poke fun at will about every single thing

au masterlist

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11

"sooo, tell us about your weekend," thomas asked as soon as he got the chance once practice was over for the day on monday. the others circled in aroun him and the blonde just as curious to know too.

will flushed from where he sat at his stall cleaning himself up and preparing for a shower, "it was really good. we had a lot of fun."

"you gotta bring her to one of our parties. we're dying to meet her after hearing so much," eklund cut in with a little smirk.

the sharks players had been itching to meet samy since they found out she was their rookie's longtime best friend and girlfriend. they'd only heard stories and seen the photos.

"yeah, maybe next time or when she comes to a game," will hummed, glad his teammates were eager to meet her. it reminded him of boston and his linemates who were also was excited to meet samy when they moved to plymouth.

"how much fun did you guys really have?" thomas poked some more obviously just in good fun, but also to tease the blonde.

"let's just say will's passenger seat was not in the right position when i got into it," macklin cut in before will could answer.

the bonde's face quickly burned in embarrassment as he eyed his friend to shut up.

"woah..did you guys go at it?" thomas continued along with a few snickers from the others around them.

"maybe," will tried playing it off. he didn't mind the teasing, but he did kind of mind telling them about his sex life because obviously, that was a pretty intimate and private topic that he wasn't going to willingly share with everyone.

"aw, come on. don't be shy. you totally did," ecklund roughed up will's arm in a teasing manner. all the hockey player did was shake his head slightly and play it off with a smile.

they seemed to lay off for now which will was grateful for. he escaped back into the showers to clean himself off and get out of the rink before anyone else wanted to poke at him about his weekend.

by the time him and macklin got back into his car, most of the guys were gone already so the blonde evaded anymore questions they had. the two threw their stuff into the back and then got themselves situated in the front seats.

as will messed around with some things before starting the car, he didn't realize his shirt had ridden up and exposed a bit of his back. macklin was adjusting himself and snapping his seatbelt into place when his eyes caught sight of will's exposed skin and then the slight red.

"woah, you take too hot of a shower or something?" the brunette wondered to which will grew confused.

"huh?"

"your back is like red. you good?"

still, will was confused so he reached around to touch his back where the skin was exposed. he felt around, not feeling anything tender, but his fingers did brush over a line of raised skin.

"just let me see for a second," macklin offered, wanting to make sure his friend was okay. he helped will lift his shirt up more and that's when he saw more red marks running up and down will's back like someone attacked him.

"holy fuck, why is your back all scratched up?"

as soon as the question left his lips, macklin immediately knew and will remembered at the same time. the brunette scrunched his nose up, "dude, what the fuck. this too? jesus, how hard did you go this weekend?"

the blonde's face flushed in more embarrassment as he quickly pulled his shirt all the way down. "what? we didn't go that hard," will defended himself.

"how many times did you even fuck? i knoew the car was 1," macklin raised his eyebrow and will seriously couldn't believe he was having this conversation again.

"i guess 3. the other 2 were in my room," he admitted a bit sheepishly.

"oh my god. you're disgusting. remind me to never be in the same house as you two.," macklin shook his head like he was some disappointed dad hearing all of this.

"hey. if you had a girlfriend right now, i know you'd be the exact same, so i don't wanna hear it," will rolled his eyes.

"please tell me that's it. please tell me i'm not gonna discover anything else remaining from this weekend that has to do with that," macklin made a circular motion with his hand towards will, a look of disgust still on his features.

"there's hickeys on my chest, but that's it. swear it," will watched macklin roll his eyes hearing that.

"jesus christ, smitty. you guys are hornyyy, wow. i gotta go home and drink bleach so i never think of this again," the brunette shook his head which earned him the middle finger as will finally pulled out of the parking lot.

"you're so over dramatic. what happens when you get a girlfriend?"

"we won't be as horny as you two," macklin shot right back without mssing a beat.

"and what happens if you guys end up having to do long distance and don't see one another for weeks on end?" will raised his eyebrow.

"that will be none of your business," the younger boy crossed his arms.

"right. can't wait to see the hickeys on you then. i'll tease you all about it," the blonde grinned and macklin shoved him.

it was safe to say neither of them talked about the occurrences in will's car ever again. or at least until samy came back to visit. the younger brunette made sure to stay far, far away while she was in town again.

[mostlykind]

on todays episode of how can I embarrass myself: holiday edition!!!

I ordered something from this kiosk (drinks and a sandwich) and it took the lady a while to make it so when I finally got everything I went to leave but she started calling me and asking me something in Spanish so I went back and said said sorry I don’t understand….. then she asks her coworker how to say something in English and this guy in the queue says “the bill” so I look at her thinking she meant a receipt and I’m like oh yeah no thank you and she stares at me utterly confused and people start laughing 😭😭😭😭😭 anyways because it had taken a minute I genuinely thought I paid before my order came… turns out I DIDN’T and she was asking me to pay and I said no thanks 😭😭

[somewhereincairparavel]

Guys I just got to the chapter where valerian shoves faerie apple on Jude and Nicasia makes Jude undress herself, don't get me started on cardan almost making her kiss his toes. I think I need to reconnect with nature for a while, might hug a tree or two while I'm at it.

[hooned]

conclusion: if you like someone who doesn't like you, wait for three years. "three years gets you three months." (kim sunoo, 2023) 😌

[f0rgetf0rgetting]

You will never love me in the same way I did, but that’s okay. I will let you hate me for a thousand springs if it meant you would love me in a winter.

extra doodle or whatever

[oceanwithouthermoon]

remember how when saiki was crushing on satou and wanted to talk to him, instead of yk.. actually talking to him, he found out all of his interests and displayed his own interest in those things in front of him to try to get him to notice him??

yeah, now imagine him doing that when he has a crush on anyone else..

hes such a silly and awkward teenage boy i love it, like buddy you CAN just talk to your crush, you dont have to try to get him to "notice you.." but hes too silly and awkward so thats like the most he would ever do and would still probably think that that counts as flirting

im just... wondering about how saikis terrible silly flirting tactics would translate if his crush was on one of his FRIENDS.. like someone he could actually be around and would see and talk to him.. would he just like be trying to impress them ?? moving toward them more ?? adopting more of their mannerisms and interests maybe ??

imagine that like EVERYONE in the group would notice it, but it wouldn't be like "omg saiki is flirting" it would be more like "omg why is saiki being extra awkward and talking more" because hes so painfully unclear about his intentions but hes usually so quiet and unassuming that this would be such a stark contrast to his usual behavior...

[insignificant457]

You ever think about how painfully awkward the ride home from the Institute must have been for the Augustus family?

I get the vibe that Darrow declaring his allegiance at the closing ceremony was kind of a rarity, so I assume everyone went home with their families for at least a little bit before they were offered jobs and positions in other houses.

And obviously I know this isn’t how it went down but in my head its just Augustus, mustang, the jackal, and Darrow in a car together. Augustus makes mustang and the jackal sit in the back so Darrow can have shotgun. The jackal keeps glaring daggers at mustang but she’s looking resolutely out the window pretending he’s not there. The silence is oppressive. Darrow tries to turn the radio on but Augustus slaps his hand away. Adrius asks if they can stop by the hospital to get his hand checked out but Augustus ignores him. Hospitals are for winners, he says. Darrow wants to die.

[sciderman]

howard the duck (1976) #10

[roseofhybrids]

So in the Godhood Au I think In my opinion it’s fair to Have Lizzy and Thad there as Well. It’s Already a Crack Fic Au so why not embrace it and go for the whole insanity and it allows more ideas to be open.

I sold myself on having the two of them there the moment I imagined Thad in priest robes on a skateboard

I'm not 100% on having Khan still being around, but am leaning towards having him there (if not worse for wear physically) as I do have some ideas of what he'd be doing as a saint

also a certain someone (Nori, and @electronix-arts) would definitely want him to stick around for as long as possible

[evilrobot-bill]

I don't even know how to start this but oh my god.

Watching Blade Trinity with the fam, as one does, and in the opening scene (which you can watch here if you want. Little warning for screaming but it's vamp slaying goodness) I see for literally a second... A SECOND... or less before the guy gets garlic powdered, his jacket opens.

Anyway I'm not crazy right..? This is the boys n Star???

Ignore the subtitles ... and the horrible quality but I couldn't stop thinking about it so this is a late night escapade. Comparison pic for your viewing pleasure (just crop Mikey out... that's what I do)

[spaciebabie]

shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name

[popponn]

i am in a really really funny point of my life

[torchstelechos]

AU where I make Loop Siffrin's emotional support possum that they carry around