#it was empty last night too
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the c*nes have zero bitches. wdym you can't even fill your arena for a friday night game?? the canucks could never relate! they swim in bitches
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This comedian fucking sucks.
#half life#gordon freeman#half life 2#city 17#black mesa#barney calhoun#alyx vance#hedy lamarr#headcrab#sourceposting#original#i went to a furry halloween party last night as gordon freeman and brought lamarr with me#and empty stage just felt like too good of an opportunity
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Hey girl, what the fuck is your problem?
#do you think that Adaine and Fig ever use Kristen as a night light when they want snacks at night?#considering that she glows and all#through the massive scarred over empty space in her chest#check out the fy faebees doodle here too because that’s a thing I think about#fig looks so fucking goofy in the last one#whatever she’s having a good time#ignore tenderness by Julia Jacklin has been eating me alive forever since the beginning of time#blood cw#cw blood#cw violence#I don’t know how to tag being impaled?? I’m sorry if someone knows what to do for that let me know#fantasy high#d20#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20#d20 fanart#fh#fantasy high fanart#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fhsy spoilers#kristen applebees#kristen chilis applebees#cassandra fantasy high#fig faeth#undescribed#my art
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“You brought it on yourselves.”
#‘do you wanna bury her by the dirtplace’ podlight. what#anyone else a bit insane over this scene. podlight . hello. why did they never ever adress podlight ever again in the whole book hello#don’t you love the part where podlight just became evil for no reason then reintegrated into riverclan without a word. that was fun#it’s kinda hard to tell cause the colors got muddy but sunbeam is loosely holding her dead mom’s paw <3 important you know this#I imagine she got her blood on her face when nuzzling berryheart. she prob had been pressed against her all night#I wanted sunbeam to just look numb and exhausted she’s been there all night and hasn’t slept girl is just empty#I’ve drawn sunbeam lying down the last couple times I’ve done her LOL last one was cozy . this one she’s going thru it#berryheart and sunbeam make me a bit insane if I think abt them too long#berryheart#sunbeam#podlight#a starless clan#Warrior cats#warriors#riverclan#shadowclan#blood#cw blood#<- not much but jic#illustration
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whatever og text i had in mind for this post about ko shibasaki looking like sayama in this movie is completely cancelled on account of utsumi (this character)'s first name being kaoru and i only found this out cause i was looking up her name just to be sure when making this post
like jesus christ i legally have to make this post now
#snap chats#they literally never say her first name in the movie. i think lol LIKE WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS JUST 'NO FUCKING WAY'#i do have to be tbh and say her face /is/ a little more round than sayama's#and its absolutely predominantly because of how her bangs and wardrobe are so close to sayama's that i think she look like her#BUT I CAAAANT THE WHOLE MOVIE I WAS JUST THINKIN ABOUT SAYAMA... i miss her...#OH RIGHT THE MOVIE THOUGH noooo fuck you this movie was so good it actually made me want to write a summary for it LMAOOO#LIKE I LIKE WRITING SUMMARIES BUT IVE JUST BEEN SO LAZY ABOUT IT WITH THE PAST FEW THINGS IVE SEEN BUT GOD.#ignore the fact i finished this movie two hours ago i was too busy fiddling with a card holder kit but. ill make a post about that next--#THIS MOVIE THOUGH NOOOOO IT WAS SO GOOD //SCREAMS AND YELLS AND DESTROYS A SNOWGLOBE//#god the part where ishigami and yukawa are walking by the homeless and it just lingers on an empty spot.. LIKE I THOUGHT I WAS WACK#CAUSE I WAS LIKE 'hang on wasnt there a guy there last scene' and obviously there was since the shot lingered right#BUUUUTT WHEN IT WAS REVEALED DOWN THE LINE SHUT UPPP I LITERALLY YELLED IM SO GLAD. my roommates arent home..#on god i thought the movie was gonna end with utsumi and fukawa's convo from the beginning#and i was gonna make a gaf about how fukawa was acting irrationally because he was too in love LMAOOO#BUT THEN IT KEPT GOING AND. im so glad it did. ishigami valid tbh#id also cover up and take blame for AND ACTUALLY commit murder for a girl if she said hi to me and made me lunch while i was trying to kms#while fukawa and ishigami were talkin that first night tho i just thought of after the rain.. lol... maybe the mangaka was inspo'd by that.#anyway. this movie was great. it reminded me of sherlock but if it was directed well and actually let you solve the mystery too#CAUSE WHILE I WAS WATCHING THERE WERE POINTS WHERE I TOO WAS JUST 'hang on' AND I JUST POCKETED THE INFO FOR LATER#i kicked and screamed when ishigami was talking abut how he formats his tests LIKE I SAID 'oh you fucking slipped'#when ishigami called and told her he had a white envelope in there bitch i knew it was gonna be the stalker letter i YELLED#LIKE I LIKE HOW THE MOVIE SETS THINGS UP SO ABUNDANTLY. IT'S FUN SEEING IT FIT IN THE MOVIE LATER ON#the twist of there being two bodies was so fun tho cause at the start of the movie i was sure two murders happened the same night#so when it was played off as just one i was like Oh. Ok. im still stumped on how he snuck a body out of the apartment#but yk what one detail is like. whatever in comparison to the rest of the movie being fun to watch#god im running out of tags POINT IS. PLEAAASE watch this movie if you got two hours#ive left some minor warnings on my Watchlist doc but there's nothing. TOO extreme ??#i mean there's an aforementioned suicide attempt but aside from that it's nothing too grotesque. for an rgg fan ig#ok bye i have to ramble about the card holder i got <3
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#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw negative#cw health issues#‘You’re such a heartless and hateful person.’ well have you ever considered that i’m not really a hateful person and i just hate You#like. call me whatever you want to i guess. im definitely selfish and probably heartless but hateful? idk abt that.#i only feel like i hate people that have given me good fucking reason to. sorry i dont have an infinite supply of tolerance & forgiveness??#but im a wee bit fucking stressed so you’ll have to forgive me for being a bitch. well no one Has to forgive me. do whatever you want#‘That 10-day old pasta salad is making me feel sick.’ MF that was made TODAY. IT’S FRESH AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT#if you feel sick how about you look down at the fifteen empty beer cans on the floor next to you and ask them what they think did it#dumbass. whatever man i have bigger problems than your self-induced tummy ache#i feel sick too but i know it’s my fault so i’m not bitching about it. i gave you fresh food while I ate the old stuff to keep from wasting#food. because you act like you’re fucking allergic to leftovers. and yeah it had probably gone off and that’s why I feel sick#but what you ate tonight was fresh as could be so we’re sick for two Very different reasons. and i know how to admit when it’s my fault#everything is my fault. my teeth and gums hurt and that’s My fault for not taking care of them. apparently 3 root canals wasn’t enough#for me to learn my goddamn lesson. i never do. so i’ll have to spend more money on that soon and thats My fault. the dog’s teeth need#cleaning too and that’ll come out of my pocket and i guess that’s My fault for not taking care of him either#i think i have another goddamn UTI and that’s definitely My fault so another $100 trip to urgent care it is i guess!#my Random Nerve Pain has moved to my hands so i can’t use them too much or it fucking hurts and i guess that’s my fault???#my neck pain is back and thats my fault for not clearing my bed off enough to sleep in a comfortable position#my eye keeps twitching and i guess that’s my fault too. i don’t know anymore i just wanna throw in the towel man im so tired#god the UTI tests i wasted money on are arriving tomorrow and if they’re packed in a way that shows what’s inside then i’ll have to explain#That to whoever brings in the mail. great great something else to worry about all night#the living room floor is caving in so now there’s Two room’s floors that need fixing so that’s super fucking fun! 😃#i need to talk to my bank and i need to talk to a tax professional and i need to learn to drive and i need to get an autism diagnosis#well i don’t Need the last one but i want it so bad. but im scared. that i’ll go to all this trouble and they’ll say i don’t qualify#and god it’s NYE now. Besties i’m not gonna get that NMbD NYE fic ready in time. i just can’t make myself write these days. i’m sorry.#i doubt anyone is gonna be That disappointed but I Am. in myself. 3 fucking years now i’ve failed to finish it. w h y. i Want to write but#there’s just too much on me rn. but when is there Not. sigh. idk what i’m gonna do but something needs to change. in my life. soon.
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screaming crying throwing up about how i can never go back and relive my childhood and teen years with the knowledge and emotional maturity and self-assurance that i have now
#like no i'm not perfect in any of those areas now#but god i'm just feeling extremely nostalgic lately#a lot of my teen years sucked but also there was something so simple about a lot of it too#like i might never see my high school building again i might never see the auditorium and backstage where i spent so much time#i can never experience the good bits or the bad bits ever again#and i can never see the house i spent most of my life in again because my parents just sold it#i'm visiting my family in the US in their new house soon and i'm looking forward to it but also i just want the old house back#i want to sit in my old room one last night but i physically can't#it's empty. it's probably gonna belong to another kid now#and it feels selfish but that makes me feel sick to my stomach#i can never go back i can never go back i can never go back#sunny talks#text
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Sitting on my bathroom floor thinking about how Griff was moving to embrace Wolfstan when he died. Thinking about how Wolfstan stabbed Griff with the misericorde while Griff was still speaking because he knew if he hesitated to listen for even a moment he’d lose his nerve.
Thinking about how Wolfstan grips the back of Griff’s gambeson as he’s stabbing him. How he holds onto Griff so tight as Griff is dying.
Thinking about how Griff told Wolfstan “I’m glad it’s you” because dying in the embrace of someone he loves is more than he could have ever wished for. How his suffering was undone by a lover a friend.
Thinking about how Wolfstan didn’t let go even as the life left Griff’s body. How he let Griff’s weight pull him to the ground despite the fact that he was undoubtedly heavier and stronger. Thinking about if it weren’t for the other men looking to Wolfstan for leadership he probably would have laid there with Griff until death took him too. How Wolfstan looked Ulrich dead in the eye and ordered Griff to be buried, because he wasn’t going to leave his lover his friend in that burned out village amongst all the felled trees.
Hello griffstan nation can you HEAR ME. Hello for the love of GOD. HELLO.
#i wrote this entire post last night#feeling so so very many about them#mercy-killing between lovers is something that can be so personal#i say griffstan nation but rlly it’s just hope#but you too could be a part of griffstan nation if you simply watch black death and then Talk To Me About It Please#griff black death#wolfstan black death#black death (2010)#griffstan#sun in an empty room#black dwath 2010
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im going to bed
youtube
heres a song i like goodnight
#......................#.............................................#..............................................................................#thats probably enough of a buffer.#last night i dreamed i was in the hollow below the tree that my body was in. when i woke up in the morgue all i wanted to do was curl up#my bones remember i think. even if i dont. sometimes i feel a phantom emptiness on my chest#like the arrows. like the knives.#its scary. its so scary.#im just a kid#will i remember it forever? how long will it haunt me?#people die all the time. people die and come back. people die and come back and they remember but it doesnt haunt them#i was trapped in death and i think thats... its not gone. maybe it is magically but i still feel it.#all i had for so many months was the vague knowledge that i was dead and this overwhelming sense of sharp coldness#my body remembers. i remember. how does anyone forget things like this? i dont want this. i dont want to remember.#i like it under my bed. ive put pillows and blankets down here. the vent that blows in cold air is here too so it feels comfy#and maybe it reminds me of being under the tree. and i dont know why but thats something im actually okay with#my body was under something for so long. the soil was cursed but i loved those woods. i miss the woods. my body hurts.#my mom is missing a leg and sometimes she talks about phantom pains. like her leg realizes it isnt there and screams#can you feel that way about a hole in your chest and your neck. can you feel that way about a tree above you.#can you feel that way about death#maybe i should get angry. but alone. so so alone so i dont hurt anyone.#i cant prove him right. because he was wrong and everything he ever said was wrong and he sucks and i hate him#im not like him.#im like gertie and my parents.#im so tired. im so tired. i want to sleep in dirt for a few more months. maybe sort myself out somewhere dark and quiet.
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the last night in my apartment :,)
#last night in this place/campus as a whole too :(#it's for the best & i'm really really glad to be moving on. but there's so many little things abt this apartment & this job ik im gonna miss#like having the whole house/campus to myself sometimes. being right next to so much nature. using the big dance studio when no one's around.#singing as loud as i can when the house is empty. raiding the fridge every time a group leaves. meeting the most incredible people.#watching incredible art be made every day. hearing people's creative process and seeing it unfold. god. the people!!! i'm gonna miss that!!!#anyway. truthfully i have had a very hard time w/ this job & i'm glad to be moving on. but the good parts have been SO good.#and i'm sad to be leaving those behind.#new year new life for me. everything's changing!#a
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health update. my asthma is being a biiiitch and i think my pharmacy is giving me tampered inhalers??? i got a new one this week and it has ran out.... ( as the one i got from the hospital - thanks to my mum working there, that lasted much longer than the inhaler i got from the pharmacy. )
#ooc. mun#( rn i'm just using my prescribed nebulisers )#( and to keep up with taking my preventer every night and morning )#( but the cold air WILL kick my ass )#( truth be told. the pharmacy had the audacity to say that i overuse it. for one. i have brittle asthma. and two. it shouldn't be empty#within the week that i just got it??? )#( i knew something was up when the last one was finished too early )#( i will be able to get a new one soon tho )#( it's either tampered or the canister thing was damaged )#( anyway i need sleep soon )
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Five Nights at Freddy's 2 saw its ninth anniversary just a couple of days ago, and to celebrate, I wanted to attempt a redesign of perhaps my favorite animatronic from the game (And one of my favorite animatronics overall)— Toy Chica! 💛✨🍕
#⭐ Star's Art ⭐#Five Nights at Freddy's#FNAF#Five Nights at Freddy's 2#FNAF 2#Toy Chica#Toy Chica FNAF#Toy Chica Fanart#Toy Cupcake#Redesign#Coolness#FNAF 2 is my favorite game in the series so of course I gotta show it some love...#... which naturally means I also gotta show my favorite character some love too 💞💞💞#It's been SEVERAL years (It's been so long some might say) since I've drawn Toy Chica last and let me tell you#It was a lot of fun drawing her again! I'd definitely like to redesign more of FNAF 2's cast in a similar vein to this piece#If I had to choose... I'd probably do a redesign of Withered Bonnie next as he's tied with Toy Chica for being my favorite in FNAF 2#You can tell I had the time of my life stylizing a new outfit for TC too. I really like the colors I chose in particular!#And of course I had to include the Toy Cupcake. Given how vicious Mr. Cupcake turned out to be in the FNAF movie...#... I thought it would be funny and cute to opt for a more 'No thoughts head empty' for its predecessor#I mean... that's how I'VE always seen it since 2014 XD
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Nighttime anxiety :) racing thoughts :) trying not to give into compulsive behaviors :) thinking I'm going to die in some horrible manner :) brain too fucking loud :) constant noise inside of my head getting louder :) how do I get through this shit without bashing my head against a wall
#people around me don't get it#I'm trying to stay calm but fuck guys it's hard#I'm taking my stomach med soon which also helped me sleep last night so maybe it will again tonight?#I hope?#but fuck I want to cry#trying to block the noise out#my heart is going fast too#I have no reason to be this panicked about life and yet here we are#with me feeling like I've messed up everything#and just feeling empty#I hate this
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I just wanna listen to music ragged with rage and emotional desperation. But it's kinda hard to search for that sorta thing.
#bc i guess i just Associate that sorta thing with screamo and i dont like screamo#like funeral or brutus both by the buttress are sung with so much rage and i want that#i too want to rage. i didnt get a lotta sleep last night#bc sometimes i make bad choices lol#and everytime i search like songs to rage to its like. no. u dont get it. i want songs that make me wanna start screaming and wacking#things with sticks. ya kno. a very common and universal feeling#listen. i apparently deleted a bunch of info off a backup hard drive today. like bro y didnt u tell me to b careful???#i picked it up like ok i gotta make it work on this old ass computer. time to clear the disk space and reformat#so rip whatever was on there i guess. no used crying abt it now. that bitch is empty#hhhhh ive got that i didnt sleep feel where ur brain feels like its peeling away from ur skull#i need to go run. burn away my ✨️ RAGE✨️#just gotta wait like an hr 🙃 unless i get call3d into a meeting rip#unrelated
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happy flat fuck friday I feel likr I've been run over by a steamroller <3
#someones car alarm (?) went off in the middle of the night and then i couldnt sleep properly again after#and kept having nightmares.. had a rly scary one right before i woke up where i was lactating blood and it wouldnt stop coming out#i onoy noticed at first bc the shirt i was wearing had massive growing bloodstains onnthe front and then i took it off qnd there it was#and no one was around and it was night and i went outside and i was on this empty rocky beach and j had this sudden realisation#that i was going to die here like this. i was rly lightheaded from the blood loss so i sat down and just stared at the water#and then my alarm went off like fucking hellllll. wild dysphoria dream i guess 🫠🫠🫠🫠#anyway yeah whatever just gotta get thru work today hey the moons out sorry unrelated just noticed her. hi#climbing was fun last night tho :^) and i have a concert tomrorow yayyyy#dont know the band super well but only bc i havent listened to much of them but i like all ive listened to theyll be sick live i reckon#my roommate knows them more than i do but wouldnt go by herself so im dragging her with me >:)#and surprisingly a fair few number of ppl from climbing are going too which is cool ill try n say hi to some of them#actuallt there are 2 bands i should listen to the album of the other one before tomorrow too. mahbe on the bus home#guys i am sotireddddd 😭😭😭😭#MAY skip my afternoon meds so i can sleep straight after showering and eating once im home. we'll see#depends what i have to do this afternoon at work i dont even rember.. i think i have training maybe#we willl seeeee i dont mind being at work that much anyway its all good. maybe i will take my meds so i can play elden ring later#okayyyy bye#.diaries
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my best friend's MOTHER called me to scold me about being depressed and self isolating lol what has life even come to
#she was like. kya hua why won't you meet her she's saying you're busy do you have exams or something#and she knows too much about me so she's like beta exam toh agli saal hai na#it was more like pyaar se scolding ki mil liya karo usse acche lagega she's very sad she misses you#i was like. hmph. what??? she certainly hasn't said that to me#im kinda sick and tired of begging people to make me a priority pay attention to me tbh. i did ask to meet but she was like you come to my#house only i won't come to your house. even tho last few months ive been to her house soooo many times because of her parental drama#i don't want to go anymore im trying to study consistently and we don't sleep at all during nighout and i don't even want to waste a single#day. plus dad is being so weird and involved these days i can't even just sneak out. i mean if she came to my home atleast i wouldn't be so#tired that id waste the whole next day. but she doesn't wanna and she doesn't even have a reason so i just let it be i gave up#but aunty made me feel so guilty so whatever i texted like hey u wanna meet#tbh i don't want to sit and listen to her boyfriend drama all night. she never wants to do stuff together anymore we used to watch movies#we used to dance to songs we used to have so much fun. we were even planning on drinking but she keeps cancelling. now it's just endless#talk about how she feels so lonely and how she misses the guys so fuckinh much and howshe can't stop talking to them and how she needs them#to fill the gap the empty space#well fuck you!!! i feel the same and you don't give a fuck. you blow me off constantly don't hangout for a month even when we're in the#same city !! so we fuck you go to your boys and go your cousin ill be on my fucking own then always on my own desperately#trying everything to fix myself enough to move forward so my life doesn't fall apart and comes to a crashing halt#okay im definitely pmsing but whatever
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