#it was crazy when Brian died and also when that other guy got

[astros-silly-place]

do you like alex kralie ☹️

he’s fucked up :(

[not-the-coffee-machine4]

this will probably be long but I don’t care

It never ceases to amaze me how decent the people in Queen all are. Like yeah they are a major rock band and there was no shortage of Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll™️ going on. We know this. I’m not trying to portray them as perfect people.

But like, if you look at literally anything anyone who’s spent time with them has said or just their actions in general it’s almost hard to believe how like…generous and kind they all are. I mean especially comparing to stuff you hear about the other people/groups at the time.

Freddie bought Christmas dinners for all AIDS patients in hospitals every year. He was a great tipper. He invited anyone who had nowhere else to go to Garden Lodge for holiday dinners. He bought his friends Christmas presents for a Christmas he knew he wouldn’t see. He bought Jim a car. He took in a stranded musician in Japan and sent his driver up to McDonalds when he discovered the person (I’m sorry I don’t remember who it was) didn’t like sushi and then paid the owner to let the guy just sit there. He was the peacemaker of Queen. Everyone around him has always said how funny, kind, generous, and respectful he was.

Roger got a taste of a solo career and immediately went “I’m going to raise awareness for a whole bunch of issues because I am in the position to do so.” He wrote songs about war, racism, socioeconomic inequality, AIDS, neo-Nazism/holocaust denial, domestic violence. He called out religious extremism, politicians, and the extremely wealthy sometimes by name. He’s a patron of Cornwall Pride. He had a signed congratulations note delivered to a couple who got engaged during Somebody To Love. And of course, he co-founded the Mercury Phoenix Trust and then nearly single-handedly organized what remains the largest tribute concert ever the proceeds of which went to the MPT

Brian is Brian. I mean anyone who follows him on Instagram will know he just has a philosophy of treating people with kindness. He’s a queer ally, he calls out crazy right-wing people on a variety of issues, he calls for a ceasefire in Gaza and he champions animal rights. And he practices what he preaches as you will know if you kept up with their last Japan tour and his quest to find vegan food. Not to mention as well as also being a co-founder of the MPT, he and Roger went on national television ONE WEEK after Freddie died to dispel homophobia, AIDS fearmongering, and to raise awareness (not to mention trying to clear up everything the press had been saying about Freddie).

As John is the quiet, private person not much is known about him regarding this but he obviously had deep love and respect for Freddie and I mean there is something to say about the company you keep.

I don’t really have a point I just marvel at it

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 *said with a lot of excitement and then the excitement died down* BRIAN CAME TO THE SHOW…dressed horribly. Okay, but he’s here! Now win him back! *brian calls the painting exquisite and he laughs* i sound crazy but i swear you can tell that it either took them forever to film this because look how they smile during the scene or they think this whole episode is bullshit. And i like both options.’ ‘Justin. Leave your moms boyfriend alone. Why is he such a little shit lately? He’s acting like he’s 5. I guess Brian isn’t the only one who went back to season 1 (Justin says hes an adult) you sure? (Tucker tells him to act like one) *gasp* DAMN! Sorry Blondie but he got your ass on that one.’ And we are at the Brian/Mikey scene ‘when I said win him back, HE was not who I meant! If anyone needs to apologize it’s Mike! Im tired of Brian always doing that. Oh fuck you Mike, it’s his version of an apology. *lifts his cast* Brian’s rights! Fuck. Brian looks completely broken. I’ve never wanted to fight someone more than Mike. Not even in season 1 and you know I hated his ass back then!’ *pauses tv* ‘be honest.. did these two fucking hated each other in real life? Cause i swear this storyline feels so fucking random when you think about it, especially after the bike race. Its like they couldn’t be in the same room so they just gave them as little scenes together as possible..and one of them plays angry and hateful a bit too good’ (btw i stayed silent here and he got annoyed at me) And Lindsay and Mel just hooked up ‘OH COME ON! For once i was happy with their relationship and here they go again! Everyone is getting back together except the one that needs to!’ ‘Justin. You were fucking horrible to that guy. You’re acting like a fucking kid. Why can’t Jen also date a hot stud? Now what do I have to do to get Brian and Justin back together? Cause Brian would make him realize he’s acting dumb’ And Brian is in Babylon ‘i hate this. These scenes alone with him in a club with no friends and even worse! no Justin. Fuck this. Fuck everything. He just fucking imagined Mike. Itd be way better if he imagined Justin though. And he’s alone again! Fuck everything! Burn it all and throw it away.’ And then he got up, went outside and sat there for almost half an hour while just staring at the sky.

i sound crazy but i swear you can tell that it either took them forever to film this because look how they smile during the scene or they think this whole episode is bullshit. And i like both options.’ He's going to die for the little amount of tea that has been spilled about Randy and the writers.

Brian looks completely broken. I’ve never wanted to fight someone more than Mike. Not even in season 1 and you know I hated his ass back then!’

Also LOLing at him wondering how Gale et al felt about Hal.

And yes Brian imagining Mikey there instead of Justin is the worst and it totally foreshadows that very last scene and I hate it. I hate the writers and what they did.

I think we all deserve a half hour of staring at the sky just because season 5.

[rinkrats]

🥺 that mike lange story. But also those tags #sid loooves christmas #he loves giving presents #looks good in red #piles on the pounds fast #post hockey career as santa 😂😂👌🏽👌🏽

he loves his mementos and presents and is COMMITTED to them. scrapbooking. matching jackets. little pills with hidden motivational messages~*~ his love language is gifts and neck smooches and stalking geno. relevant right now are some anecdotes i sent a friend earlier this year for dorky sid gifts fic fodder:

1. Crosby's constant thoughtfulness would be impressive from anyone, much less someone of his stature.

"Sid always texts me happy birthday, he's always asking me like, how's Russia?" Evgeni Malkin said. "We talk and message all summer. He asks me how my skates are. He knows, like, everything. He follows my Instagram, I think (laughs)."

In addition to having a handle on those little details, Crosby is constantly providing those around him with memories and mementos. If the team is on the road and goes, say, sightseeing or to a sporting event and takes a group photo, Crosby will later send a framed copy to everyone.

When Ron Hextall and Brian Burke watched their first Penguins game in person, Crosby is the one who approached head equipment manager Dana Heinze and asked for two used game pucks to give to the new GM and president of hockey ops. 

After the Penguins won in 2009, Crosby had jackets made for the three players on the team who had scored a Cup-clinching goal in Game 7: Talbot (Pittsburgh), Ruslan Fedotenko (Tampa Bay) and Mike Rupp (New Jersey).

"They were blue jackets with gold buttons, and each one had a patch on it that said 'GWG Game 7,'" Talbot said. "At one of our first team meals the next season, he presented us with the jackets and did a big ceremony with the music and stuff. We had a private room in the restaurant. I still have the jacket."

-The Consummate Teammate, Captain and Ambassador, Feb 2021

2. Merz: My first interaction with Sid was when we were on the bench, guys were talking about a teammate, and the first thing this 15-year-old says is, “Hey, guys. Let’s keep everything positive. Don’t talk about your teammates that way.”

Salcido: When we were getting ready for nationals, he found these little pills that you could put a hidden message inside. They unscrewed, and inside was a tiny scroll. He gave one to every teammate. … He had everyone fill one out. He didn’t tell anyone what to write, but he made it known that we all knew what the goal was: winning nationals. So we wrote on our scrolls, rolled them up and put them in the pill thing. We kept them with us everywhere we went.

-‘Is this real?’: Stories of Sidney Crosby’s year at a Minnesota prep school, May 2020

3. On “Butterfly Boy” Jonathan Pitre:

Though the Senators are his team, Sidney Crosby has always been Jonny’s favourite player. After the TSN documentary airs, Tina gets a call from the Penguins. Sid needs Jonny’s measurements. He wants to have a suit made for him by his personal tailor, Domenico Vacca.

“It’s the kindest, sweetest gesture,” Tina says. “Sid heard that Jonny went to a lot of games, so he wants him to look like he’s one of the guys.”

“I want him to feel like a pro,” Crosby says. “Here’s a guy who is going through something so painful, and his first thought is always, ‘How can I help others?’ When I was young, I’d watch on TV the players coming to the rink in their suits. That was a cool part of being an NHL player. I want him to feel that, to make it as real as possible for him.”

Tina tries to discreetly measure Jonny while she’s changing his dressings. But he’s way too smart for that.

“Um, Mom, why are you measuring me? Am I going for surgery again?” he asks.

“No, no!” Tina replies, trying to reassure him and come up with a good lie, all in the same breath. “The doctor needs them just to make sure they have proper dressings next time you are in.”

A few weeks later, the sharp navy blue suit shows up at their front door, along with a couple of ties, an autographed stick and a handwritten letter from Sid. 

“His eyes just light up,” Tina says. “Jonny always liked to be well-dressed, and he just loves having his own suit. It fits perfectly. He looks so good in it.”

-Beauties by James Duthie (2020)

4. Pascal Dupuis inspired his Pittsburgh Penguins teammates on their run to the Stanley Cup, and Sidney Crosby found a special way of driving that message home.

Dupuis retired in December with lingering health concerns because of blood clots. Despite his NHL playing days coming to an end, the veteran forward remained an integral part of the Penguins and was in uniform to hoist the Cup after Pittsburgh's six-game win against the San Jose Sharks in the Stanley Cup Final.

On Sunday, Dupuis brought the Cup home one last time as a player to share a special day with his family, friends and hometown fans.

"Yes, it does feel bittersweet a little bit," Dupuis said. "You get the Cup, you want to celebrate. But at the same time I got a gift by the mail [Saturday]. Basically, it's a book of all the pictures of all the good stuff we went through. It came from Nova Scotia, so you guys can figure out who it came from (Crosby), but he couldn't give it to me during the season, he saw me skating a little bit.

"And he sent it [Saturday], before my day with the Cup, so he knew what he was doing to get me right here," Dupuis said, putting his fist over his heart.

-Pascal Dupuis shares Stanley Cup with family, friends, Aug 2016

5. In 2011, Crosby was out of the lineup with a concussion, and the Penguins made their annual visit to Children’s Hospital.

Crosby got along so well with one boy there and was so touched that he later asked Bullano to go back... just the two of them, no cameras, no attention.

When Bullano and Crosby met for the follow-up visit, Crosby appeared clutching a pair of Toys “R” Us bags, filled with a Transformer toy the two had discussed.

“He literally bought every type of this toy they make,” Bullano said. “[Crosby] had never seen it before and thought it was so cool.

“There are no pictures of this. There’s no video. He was laying in the bed with the kid. They were just playing. We were there for over two hours. I got to know the mom really well because we were just sitting there.

“The kid had no idea. Didn’t expect it. They had no idea he was coming. We got there and he said, ‘Hey buddy. hope you don’t mind that I came back.’ The kid couldn’t believe it.

“[Crosby’s] crazy cool about stuff like that.”

What’s crazy is trying to recount the many times stuff like this has happened with Crosby:

• The Little Penguins Learn to Play program has been around for nine seasons, outfitting now 1,200 kids with free head-to-toe hockey equipment. Not only does Crosby serve as the face of the program — which the NHL has now adopted — but he helps fund it, too.

“There’s an awareness of what a person in his position can bring,” Penguins vice president of communications Tom McMillan said. “I think he activates that as much as anybody I’ve seen during his playing career.”

• After a recent practice, Crosby noticed a local family in the Penguins dressing room, approached them, introduced himself, learned their story and wound up giving them a signed stick.

Nobody asked Crosby to do that, and he wanted zero credit when discussing it a couple days later.

“For people who have the opportunity to come in here, people dealing with certain things, if you can brighten their day a bit or spend some time with them, it’s something that’s special for all of us,” Crosby said.

• A few years ago, through a team charity event, Crosby befriended a 4-year-old Amish boy with cancer. Crosby remarked to Bullano how much he loved talking to the boy because of how engaging the boy was and how he wasn’t consumed with technology. Crosby even tried to visit the boy but learned he had passed away.

• He learns the first and last names of the kids who attend his hockey school in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia.

“Two kids came from Japan its first year,” Bullano recalled. “He was so blown away by that. He couldn’t wait to meet them.”

• Earlier this season, the Penguins welcomed Grant Chupinka, 24-year-old cancer patient, into the dressing room. Crosby chatted up Grant and his parents, Steve and Kim.

He spent his usual time — about two or three times the requirement. Gave the tour. Then found out the Chupinkas didn’t have tickets for that night’s game and decided he would pay for them to go.

“I’m sure he could just give them an autographed puck or something, but he takes his time to go out and see them and talk to them and get to know them,” Brian Dumoulin said. “It speaks volumes for him and who he is as a person.”

Spend any length of time with Crosby during his visits with those less fortunate, and a few things become obvious.

One, Crosby is really good at these. Smooth but not in a slimy way. Sweet. You know how when you’re around someone talking and they go out of their way to make eye contact with everyone around? That’s Crosby.

He’s also humble, always introducing himself like those he’s meeting don’t already know. Holding a hand is no issue. And Crosby is the rare 20-something pro athlete without kids who acts every bit like he does.

“It is not an easy situation to talk to someone with terminal cancer,” McMillan said. “A lot of people couldn’t do that. He has an amazing ability to do that and make that person feel good.”

Crosby has welcomed several Make-a-Wish kids and tries, if at all possible, to schedule such events for practice days — to maximize the time he’s able to spend.

He’s developed a special friendship with Patrick McIlvain, a soldier who nearly died when he took a bullet to the head in Afghanistan. McIlvain actually does physical therapy with one of Crosby’s sticks.

A former club hockey player at Cal U, McIlvain comes by every year, and the Penguins don’t even bother to tell Crosby. Either he already knows or immediately stops what he’s doing to come say hello.

“He’s not doing it to leave a legacy,” said Terry Kalna, Penguins vice president of sales and broadcasting. “His numbers leave the legacy. He’s just a down-to-Earth, good guy.”

Before a visit, Crosby has Bullano email him what is essentially a scouting report on who he’s going to meet. He likes to learn about them, their situation and what they’ve been through. As much information as he can ingest. Crosby never just swoops in, shake a hand and leave.

“As much as anyone has ever seen, he accepts the responsibilities of being not just a professional athlete but a star professional athlete,” McMillan said. “He views it as part of the job. Like coming to the morning skate. That’s just what you do.”

Put another way, “he owns those moments,” says Kalna.

Said Bullano, “He’s just a good human being.”

-When it comes to giving, Sidney Crosby does as much as he can, Feb 2017

6. When Crosby received a generous signing bonus on his Reebok deal, he wanted to share it with everyone.

“He gave everyone on the bus gifts,”  says Oceanic radio commentator Michel Germain. “Him sharing his bonus with all the people he’d been travelling with for two years, that impresses me greatly. I think the most important thing about Sidney Crosby is his personality and the kind of human being he is. What he exuded. The inner richness he’d already developed.” 

-Superstitious and generous, Dec 2006

7. also this simply because it makes me ;w;

Even in defeat — no, especially in defeat — Sidney Crosby proved why he wears the "C" for the Penguins.

After the game, with his heart sinking and his season over, the Penguins’ captain bent over, sank to the ice to pick up the puck, took it to linesman Tony Sericolo and then skated to his team’s handshake line.

I immediately thought of a View from Ice Level I’d written on Crosby making sure a retiring official was sent away from PPG Paints Arena properly. I knew picking up the puck wasn’t for the same reason that was, but I also knew, in some way, it was connected to Crosby’s awareness and respect of the game.

“It was for the Islanders,” Crosby told me after the game, his eyes swollen from a first round exit – by way of a sweep to make it worse. He told me how the winning team always wanted the puck, and it was his way of providing it for the Islanders.

Crosby looked me right in the eye as he told me this, just as he did with every other member of the media to come to him after the loss.

I could tell from those swollen eyes and the way he sat at his stall, by himself with his hands folded as he stared blankly, that Sidney Crosby is much more used to being on the receiving end of a puck when a series ends than he is at retrieving it for the winning team.

That scene. His swollen eyes. Staying in the locker room until most had left – talking to anyone who needed him. Most of all, though, picking up the puck that prompted my question in the first place and making sure the right people got their piece of their own history.

It all adds up to one thing: In victory and in defeat, Crosby respects the game above all else – just as he’s always done.

-Even in defeat, Crosby shines, April 2019

[woah-were-halfway-there]

Just What I Needed: Part 4

A/N: 👀

Series masterlist

Word Count: 18.2k

You slowly blinked your eyes open, feeling relaxed and rested. Sunlight poured in through the window and filled the room with a sense of warmth in contrast to how cold you knew the late January air felt outside. 

A sigh of content left your mouth as you stretched and glanced around the room. Although it was no match to the comfort you felt in your bed at home, it was cozy and rather quaint. 

Frank was still laying at the foot of the bed, stirring awake as a result of your movements, but wasting no time in getting up so he could attack you with kisses. 

"Hey, buddy," you chuckled and started scratching behind his ears in his favourite spot. After a moment of giving Frank the attention he craved, your gaze then drifted to the corner of the room where an empty playpen rested.

In your hurry to get out of your house the night before and get to where your family was, you didn't even think of grabbing Mia's travel bed for her to sleep in when you got to Alice's cousin's house. Luckily for you, though, Alice's cousin was a grandma and had things in the house that Mia could use for the night. 

Usually, if you woke up to find Mia not in the spot you'd put her to bed, you'd panic. However, you had gotten used to mornings where you would wake up and know that Auston was already up and downstairs with your daughter, getting ready for the day. This situation was no different because you knew that either your dad, Alice, but more than likely Nate, snuck into the room and took her while trying not to disturb you. 

"Couldn't even warn me about someone taking Mia, huh?" You said to Frank as you sat up, chuckling at how he must've been so unbothered by whoever came into the room and grabbed Mia that morning, seeing as he knew they posed no threat to your little girl. "That's ok. I know you would've gone nuts if it was someone you knew shouldn't have been near her." 

Frank just made one of his typical noises in response to that, then licked your face once more before moving away so that you could get up. Before you climbed out of bed, you made sure to grab your phone from where it laid next to you on the mattress and not to your surprise, it was dead. 

You knew the battery died shortly after you got to the house, and then you got so wound up with trying to get Mia calmed down for the night. You must've forgotten to plug it in before you passed out from exhaustion almost as soon as your head hit the pillow, which you didn't overthink. So, with a shrug, you threw on one of Auston's hoodies that you grabbed the night before and headed for the washroom. 

As you brushed your teeth and washed your face, you couldn't help but smile as you listened to Mia giggling like crazy from downstairs. You then heard your brother just messing around with her and felt your heart swell at the thought of the two together. Mia and Nate adored each other, and it made you so freaking happy to see. 

Once you finished your half-assed morning routine, then packed up yours and Mia's things, you and Frank went downstairs, but you stopped in the living room briefly to plug your phone into the charger you spotted there the night before, then made your way to the kitchen to see your family. 

However, when you entered the room, only Mia seemed excited to see you. Meanwhile, your dad, Alice and Nate looked worried for some reason. 

"Uh, good morning," you greeted, then scratched your head awkwardly as they all looked at each other in a way that you didn't know the meaning behind.

"Mommy!" Mia said happily and began reaching for you from where she was being held by Nate on the other side of the room, noticing how she was already in much better spirits than she had been the night before. 

"Hi, baby," you replied, smiling as you approached the two and took her from your brother's hold. "Are you feeling better today?"

"Yeah," she answered, then laid her head against your shoulder. 

"I don't think her ear is hurting as much anymore," Alice was the first to speak as she smiled at you and Mia. "But it probably wouldn't hurt for her just to take it easy today to make sure."

"Well, we can do that, can't we, little miss?" You asked your daughter, to which she nodded in response. After placing a quick peck on her forehead, you then looked around at your family and could still feel that something was up with them. "Did something happen? You all just kind of seem… off for some reason."

You then watched as your dad, Alice and Nate, gave each other a hesitant look before your dad finally said something. 

"Have you talked to Auston at all?"

"No, not since yesterday," you explained. "I told him Mia wasn't feeling well before his game, but then got caught up with everything with coming over here and her not doing well, so I haven't talked to him since. Plus, my phone died. Why?"

"You, uh, you might want to head home to see him then," Nate said while looking at you nervously. 

"Wait, he's home?" You asked, feeling confused as your brother nodded. "But the team isn't supposed to be back until later this afternoon."

"Exactly," Nate replied again but still did nothing to help how lost you felt. 

"Nate, why do I feel you're not telling me something?"

At that, your brother sighed before glancing at your dad and Alice once more. 

"I woke up to five missed calls from him. So, I called him back like ten minutes ago to find out that he spent the entire night thinking you packed up your things, took Mia and Frank, and left him."

"What?" Was all you were able to respond with because honestly, you weren't able to comprehend such a ridiculous idea. 

Why the hell would Auston think you were leaving him? Was it something you said? Something you did? You raked your mind for ideas of what the hell happened that could've possibly made him come to this conclusion but came up with nothing. 

Then, with one final look at your brother, you adjusted your hold on Mia then went straight for the living room so you could check your phone. 

"What's wrong, mommy?" Mia asked curiously as she continued gripping on to you. 

"Nothing for you to worry about, baby," you assured her. "This is between your dad and me."

Once you entered the living room, you saw your phone light up with some kind of notification, so you knew it was on again, but weren't sure if you were prepared to see what would be waiting on the screen when you finally looked at it. So, after taking a deep breath, you held Mia close and braced yourself for what was about to come. 

The first thing you saw once you tapped your screen were the numerous missed calls and texts from Auston. However, there were also missed notifications from Ema, Brian, both of Auston's sisters, Mya, Steph, Mitch, Lexie and a couple more of your friends, all wondering where the hell you had gone. Although dramatic, some of the messages from Steph were her asking if you were kidnapped or decided to fall off the grid, and it wasn't until then you realized, with how overwhelmed you were with Mia the night before, it very easily could've seemed that way. Especially to Auston. 

And it wasn't even 9 a.m. yet. 

"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, but unfortunately, still loud enough for Mia to hear. 

She gasped, which had you glance at her right away. "That's a bad word."

"You're right, that is a bad word," you agreed, then unplugged your phone and headed towards the kitchen again. "But we're not going to repeat it, right? You didn't hear it from me."

"Yes, I did, mama," she responded, calling you out on your bullshit, then giggling when you gave her a surprised look. 

"Mia! The sass, I can't. You get that from your father."

"Nope."

"What do you mean nope!?"

You continued looking at her incredulously, which made her giggle even more, and that didn't stop until after the two of you were back in the kitchen. 

"Even Mia knows she gets her sass from you," Nate said and wasted no time taking Mia from your hold again. "So, what are you going to do with Auston?"

"I don't think there's much else I can do other than go home right now and talk to him," you replied, then glanced at your dad and Alice. "Would you guys mind watching Mia for an hour or so? I'm really sorry to ask, but I'd prefer that she wasn't there when Auston and I have this conversation."

"Of course we can watch her," your dad replied. "Sweetheart, it's ok to ask for help. And there's no need for you to apologize about it either."

"I know, it's just-," you started, then paused. "I guess I've been forgetting that lately. Maybe that's part of why I'm now in this situation with Auston."

Your family looked at you sympathetically but refused to comment. This was something you and Auston needed to work out on your own. No one else's opinion should matter. 

"Everything is going to be fine, hun," Alice said. "We love having Mia around, so please, you and Auston, take all the time you need. Just call us when you're ready for Mia and Frank to come home too."

"I will," you told her with a smile, then looked back to Mia and pushed her curls away from her face as she leaned against Nate. "I'll be back soon, sweets. Can you promise me that you'll be good for Pa, Alice and Uncle Nate?"

"I promise, mommy," she replied and began waving at you, sending you on your way. Almost as if even she, too, knew that you needed to go talk to Auston asap. 

Lastly, you looked at your brother and let out a breath. 

"Auston needs this conversation as badly as you do," Nate said. "Try to hear him out too. You know he's going to listen to whatever you have to say, but you need to do the same for him. It's the least you could do."

"I understand that," you replied. "But Nate, for him to just assume I'd up and leave him? What the hell is that?"

"I don't know, but if you don't at least try to see things from his point of view too, you're not going to solve anything," he stated, making you sigh. 

"How was he when you talked to him?"

"Not great. Relieved to know that you and Mia were somewhere safe, though."

"I see," you nodded in understanding. "I guess I should get going. I think I'll take an Uber, then once we're done talking, can you bring Mia and Frank home in my car? Mia's seat and everything is already in there."

"Of course I can," he responded. "Just call me when you're ready, and I'll bring them over."

"I will. Thanks, Nate."

After that, you ran back upstairs to grab your things and put them in your car so Nate wouldn't have to worry about them when he was packing up Mia and Frank. After that, you ordered an Uber, then said goodbye to Mia and the rest of your family before heading outside to get into the waiting vehicle and began mentally preparing yourself to face your husband. 

As soon as you were in the Uber, you texted Auston to say you were on your way home, then put your phone back in your pocket. You didn't think he'd respond. In complete honesty, you didn't want him to either because you just didn't know what to say about the topic anymore. 

You began thinking of how mad you were that he just assumed you left him. Had things really gotten that bad between the two of you? Sure, you knew with everything going on in life, and how you've been feeling lately, things had been a little rough between the two of you, but not once did the thought of leaving your husband cross your mind, and it hurt to know that Auston was at a point where he believed that you would. 

After taking a deep breath to calm yourself down some, you glanced at your stomach and were reminded that on top of all this, you were still approaching your 20th week of pregnancy. You were almost halfway through your pregnancy and were due to meet your baby in less than five months, yet you were feeling the shittiest you've felt in a really long time. There was no way you could've ever predicted being in this type of situation, but, you still were. 

When the Uber came to a gradual stop at an intersection and the road sign indicating you were about to turn down the street your house was on, you became nervous as hell. You began rubbing small circles over your bump, trying to soothe your nerves and in some way communicate to your baby that everything was going to be ok, but unfortunately, you weren't so sure of that either. 

By the time the car came to a stop outside of your house, your heart was pounding. You didn't feel ready to have this conversation with Auston, and you hated the thought of not wanting to talk to your husband about something, but you knew it needed to happen. So, with another deep breath, you thanked your Uber driver, then got out of the car and walked up the driveway. 

Needless to say, you weren't exactly expecting the scene you came across once you walked through the front door and looked into the living room. 

Auston didn't notice you at first. In his defence, you did enter the house very quietly, but instead of greeting you like he usually would, he stayed sat on the couch, staring forward at seemingly nothing. He was completely zoned out as he hugged onto his body pillow and didn't move aside from the deep breaths he took every few seconds. So, you took this moment to observe him even more. 

His hair was dishevelled, subtle dark circles were forming under his eyes, and it was clear that he was still wearing the black Nike t-shirt and joggers he more than likely changed into once he got home the night before. His facial hair was a bit more excessive than usual. Typically, he would've shaved a little bit by then, but over the few days, since you last saw him, it was apparent that he hadn't, and it just really tied into the whole look he had going on. Then you noticed the throw blanket that rested in a heap on the other end of the couch and could only assume that was because Auston spent the night on the sofa rather than upstairs in your bed. 

He looked rough and going off of how he appeared on the outside. You could only imagine how shitty he was feeling on the inside. 

A cool breeze from outside then drifted in through the open door, making you shiver but also snap you back to reality from the trance you'd fallen into while observing your husband. You knew you probably shouldn't prolong the conversation you were about to have any more than you already had, so with another deep breath, you closed the door loud enough that Auston would notice and your presence would be known. 

The sudden noise made him jump, but it wasn't long before he was standing up from the couch and looking at you, concern written all over his face as he did so. It took him a second to realize that he was still hugging the body pillow but was quick in tossing it back onto the couch before walking towards you.

"Hey," Auston greeted softly once he walked into the foyer, but came to a stop after acknowledging the absence of the other person he was also looking forward to seeing again, his mouth turning into a frown. "Where's Mia?"

"With my family," you told your husband as you took your boots off and hung up your coat, then stepped towards him. "Nate is going to bring her and Frank back in a little bit. I didn't think she needed to hear us have this talk."

"I see," he replied while nodding in agreement. You continued looking at him, unsure if you should start the conversation or he should, and you could feel yourself gradually becoming more anxious than you were in the Uber with each passing second, but luckily, Auston spoke up again, your name sounding from his mouth in a whisper as he did so. "I don't even know where to start."

"Ok," you said, tears already pricking at the corners of your eyes as you tried focusing on keeping your breaths even since it felt like your chest kept getting tighter and tighter. "I will then. Auston, how dare you think I would just up and leave you? It's one thing to think that'd I'd do such a thing, but for you to assume I would ever do that to Mia? You could do your absolute worst to me, and I still wouldn't be able to keep our daughter away from her father. I could never do that to her or you, and it fucking hurts knowing that you think I would."

"I know you wouldn't, and it was wrong of me to assume otherwise," he replied calmly. "And I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am for that being the conclusion I jumped to. My mom already gave me enough shit for that, but it was the only thing that made sense to me at the time."

"How can you even say that?" You scoffed.

"Because, since Christmas, you've been pushing me away! You've been pushing everyone away for almost a month now, and we've all been worried about you. I thought you'd talk to me about the things bothering you, you always do, but this time has been different for some reason. You closed yourself off from me, babe. I haven't heard anything about your therapist appointments since before the holidays. You've barely told me about your last doctor's appointment and how the baby was doing. I just feel like there's so much going on with you that you won't let anyone know about."

"Because I refuse to bother people with my problems, Auston! My mind can be a damn scary place sometimes, ok. I haven't felt like myself for these past few weeks, and that is no one's battle to fight but my own."

"Why don't you realize that you don't have to fight those battles alone?" Auston's voice cracked as he said that, which struck something deep in you. "We're all on your side, Y/N. We want to help." 

It was evident that he cared so much about you and your wellbeing. You've always known that, and you didn't mean to block out him or any of your loved ones, but what else were you supposed to do? You didn't even know how to explain what you were feeling to him, just that it wasn't good. So, you continuously tried to distract yourself from your thoughts, even though, deep down, you knew what you were feeling all revolved around your pregnancy. And you believed Auston had a right to know that.

"Please let me back in."

You hadn't realized that your gaze drifted away from him until he said those words, and when you looked back at him, his eyes were watering like crazy. That's when your tears finally broke free and began streaming down your face.

Just as you were about to reply to him, though, you heard the radio that was playing softly in the kitchen, change songs. The familiar guitar riff of the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Under the Bridge and the distinctive voice of Anthony Kiedis wasn't loud or anything. Still, to you, it was deafening in how the lyrics resonated with the way you were feeling. 

The main difference between you and the lyrics was that you knew you had a partner and knew you had a friend in Auston. He hasn't given you a reason to doubt that. But still, if you were to say you didn't worry about things, well, that'd be a lie. 

"It breaks my heart knowing that our relationship is at a point where the thought of me leaving you would even cross your mind, though," you told him, your voice almost in a whisper. "And part of that is on me—a big part, which I get. I should've just told you what I was feeling and what was going on. I really don't know why I didn't. But Auston, you could've communicated with me too."

It was your voice that cracked then, and you were no longer able to keep in the sob that you felt building in your chest as soon as you started talking again. You didn't think much of it, but then you began sobbing uncontrollably and closed your eyes as you fought to catch your breath, but even that didn't seem to work. 

You felt as if you could collapse right then and there. Everything felt heavy. But before you could, Auston had his arms wrapped around you and was bringing you against his chest, keeping you up as you clung to him for support. By the way, he was shaking; you knew that he was crying as well, but couldn't bring yourself even to attempt to comfort him in some way too as he lowered you both to the ground, then pulled you into his lap. 

"Breathe, baby," Auston spoke softly as he rubbed small, soothing circles on your back, still making you a priority in all of this even though you were ready to rip him a new one only moments ago. "Slow down and just breathe for me, please."

Although you still took a few staggering breaths, you listened. Auston always held you against his chest like this when your anxiety got bad. It was a way for you to match his deep, steady breaths and eventually calm yourself down. It was also a way for him to remind you that he was there and wasn't going anywhere, which, honestly, was exactly what you needed from him at that moment. 

"I hate this," you said after a few moments, once your sobs turned into sniffles. "I hate feeling the way I do, I hate that I blocked out the people I care about the most, I really didn't mean to. But most of all, I hate fighting with you. I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too," he replied, then leaned away so he could look at you but continued holding you as he did so. "I think we both messed up in this situation. God, I knew we could be bad at communicating sometimes, but I never thought it would get this bad."

"It's not very fun."

"Not at all."

The two of you chuckled slightly as he pushed back some of your hair away from your face, but the moment soon passed when you noticed Under the Bridge came to an end and With Me by Sum 41 started playing. Another song you knew would just hit differently during a moment like the one you and Auston were in. 

"You were stupid to think I would leave you, Auston," you stated. "I'm well beyond the point of even thinking I could go on without having you in my life in some way. How do you not know that?"

"I do, and that's the thing," he responded, then paused, smiling a little bit as you reached up to wipe away a tear that still rested on his cheek. "You're right. I was stupid to think that. I just felt like I've fucked up so much lately and that you had every reason to leave me if you wanted to. I know it's not easy with me coming and going all the time. You are absolutely incredible with the way you take care of Mia. You know that, right? She adores you. Even with you being pregnant and facing your own troubles, you never falter when it comes to making sure that our daughter is ok."

"Because regardless of whatever is going on with me, I am Mia's mom first. Above anything else. She will always be my priority."

"I know. I've always known that which is why I'm pissed at myself for not thinking why you weren't here when I got home last night was because you were doing just that. Prioritizing our daughter. I know how hard it must've been for your stubborn ass to swallow your pride and ask your family for help. But, you knew that was what was best for Mia and yourself. I'm so proud of you for making that call, babe, and I am so sorry if my overthinking and assuming the absolute worst made you think otherwise."

"It's ok," you told him honestly, then shifted your position on his lap, placing a leg on each side of his so that you were straddling his thighs in a way because you wanted to be face to face with him properly. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, Aus. It's just- this pregnancy has not been easy. Nothing seems to be going right, and I-I'm at a point where I dread going to my appointments because I don't want to be told something bad again. I'm scared, and I didn't want anyone to see me like that. It makes me feel vulnerable."

"You can always be vulnerable with me," he said and made sure the two of you locked eye contact as he did. "I'm not going to hurt you, babe. I would never. You don't need to put up any walls. Be upset. Tell me what you're thinking like the other night when I missed dinner, for example. Don't let me off on that shit! If something is bothering you, especially if it's something I caused, please promise that you'll tell me about it from now on."

"That was kind of shitty of you, not gonna lie."

"I know it was, and I deserved to feel bad about it, but you care too much about others that you couldn't even tell me that."

"I didn't want you to feel bad about it, Auston. Ok, I mean, yeah, maybe a little bit at the time. But, you talk about not wanting to hurt me. I don't want to hurt you either, even if it is just a petty argument or comment. I love you too much."

"And I love you," he replied and leaned his head against yours. "You had every right to be mad at me that night, and you still do. But let me tell you that I suffered from thinking you left way more than you think. I was distraught. I just know that I need you in my life and the thought of you never coming home scared the shit out of me. Fuck, all of that drama on my part and for what?"

You laughed at that. 

"I can tell you were struggling by the body pillow and blankets on the couch. Couldn't sleep in our bed, hmm?"

"It was a rough night, ok? Sue me. And no, not while thinking I may never share it with you again."

"Good thing you never have to think that again then, right?" You asked and gave him a pointed look. "Because if you do, then we'll have real issues, Matthews. Right now, I'll give you a free pass because I know Ema would've given you an earful on my behalf already."

"You have no idea," he groaned and threw his head back dramatically. "I don't think I've ever been called so many synonyms of stupid all at once. It didn't help that Alex and Bre chimed in on it too."

"Sad I missed it," you teased. "And I promise to talk to you about everything, Aus. Please know that I really didn't mean to shut anyone out the way that I did."

"We all understand, babe, but I can assure you that everyone is going to be glad to have you back. Mitch and Steph especially have been missing you."

"I need to call them today. I miss them too."

You and Auston smiled at each other, then you noticed that all the weight you felt on your chest had seemingly disappeared.

"We're ok?" Auston asked before you could say anything else.

"We're ok," you repeated, then closed the gap between the two of you as you hugged him, happy with how the conversation turned out because you knew that he felt a lot better too. However, it wasn't long before he was moving away so that he could gently cup your cheek before leaning in again and connecting his lips to yours with a sweet kiss.

"I love you," you told him again while mumbling against his lips, not bothering to move away from him.

"I love you, more than anything," he assured, but unlike you, moved away so he could look at you again. "You, Mia and our little one on the way are my everything, Y/N. Please, never forget that."

"I won't, I promise."

About half an hour later, the two of you were cuddled up on the couch together, his body pillow and blankets completely forgotten. Auston laid between you and the back cushions, his head resting next to your bump as you mindlessly played with his hair, both waiting patiently for Mia and Frank to arrive home. 

After you and Auston cleared the air between the two of you, he then held onto you as he stood up off the ground and carried you into the living room. Soon after, he texted Nate to let him know that he could come over, and you didn't stop him. You were already missing Mia and knew that Auston was probably missing her a bit more. 

Luckily for both of you, your little girl was making her grand re-appearance as Nate brought her and Frank through the front door. She was giggling like crazy as Nate talked to her in a dramatic voice, but then saw how Frank booked it right for the living to greet you and Auston, and soon let out a squeal of delight once she spotted the two of you. 

"Daddy!"

"There's my girl!" Auston greeted her, smiling so freaking wide as he scrambled to get off the couch, but made sure to help you up as well before going over to take Mia from Nate's hold. "Hi, Mini! I missed you so much."

You couldn't help but smile too as you watched them, not missing how Auston seemingly held onto your daughter a bit tighter than usual and refused to let go. As you observed them, you leaned against the doorway of the living room and mindlessly rubbed your hand over your stomach but soon jumped when your brother nudged you with his elbow and snapped you out of your daze. 

"Told you everything was going to be fine," Nate smirked. 

"Whatever," you replied. "But thank you for watching Mia and Frank."

"Anytime."

The two of you then looked back to Auston and Mia as they chatted away. 

"What do you say we take Frank for a walk in a bit?" He asked Mia, to which she nodded in response excitedly. "Or better yet, how about when Mitchy gets home later, we see if he, Steph and Zeus are up for a little visit?"

"My Mitchy!"

"Yes, your Mitchy, baby girl. C'mon, let's go get you a little snack first."

You and Nate laughed as you watched the two, but before Auston could head down the hallway to the kitchen with Mia, your brother stepped away from your side and spoke up.

"Wait, Auston, before you go, I have a question," Nate said, then glanced between you and him. "For you and Y/N, actually."

"What's up?" Auston asked as he came to a stop and shifted Mia in his hold. 

"Ok, I know it's probably a weird thing to ask, but hear me out."

"Nate, just spit it out," you joked as you pushed away from the doorframe and went to stand with Auston and Mia. 

"Rude," your brother replied but brushed your comment off quickly. "I was thinking, well, if you're ok with it, that maybe I stay here with you guys for a while?"

"What?" You asked, surprised.

"Feel free to say no. It's just a suggestion. But, I work from home. That's why I could go to Florida with dad and Alice for so long, and I thought that maybe I could just stay here for a bit and do the same thing. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I know you haven't been doing great health-wise, Y/N, and I want to help. I'm going to be back here in less than two weeks for Mia's birthday as it is. What if I just stayed then?"

You continued looking at your brother, completely shocked because that was not what you were expecting him to say. But, it wasn't much to process. It was actually a very genuine offer.

"You've been thinking about this for a while, haven't you?" Auston asked curiously.

"Since I was here at Christmas, yeah," Nate explained. "I figured it might be easier on you, Y/N and Mia to have an extra person here all the time, you know? Just to help out where I can and, of course, hang out with my favourite niece."

"Nate, are you sure?" You questioned. "You really don't have to."

"I want to, though. Or else I wouldn't have offered."

"Well, I have no issue with it," Auston stated, then looked at you. 

You just smiled, then shook your head. 

"I'd love to have you stay here with us for a while. I could never say no to getting to see my baby brother."

"Let's see how quickly that opinion changes when I do stay," Nate responded, making you all laugh. 

"How's that sound, mini?" Auston then asked Mia. "Uncle Nate is going to stay with us in a couple of weeks. Did you have fun with him, Pa and Alice this morning?"

"Yeah," Mia replied and leaned her head against her dad's shoulder. 

"And what did you all do?"

"Mommy said fuck," she blurted out, making you gasp this time as you looked at her with wide eyes. 

"Amelia!"

"Busted," Nate mumbled and gave you a look, to which you just scowled in return. 

"Did she?" Auston questioned your daughter, a playful grin tugging at his mouth as he did. "And did you tell mommy that's a bad word?"

"Mhm."

"And I thought we agreed you weren't going to rat me out, Mia," you said, then leaned over to tickle her a little bit. "But we don't say that word, ok? Even if mommy does. It's not nice."

"Ok, mama," she replied, then looked to Auston again. "Snacks, daddy?"

"Yes, of course," he told her, then rushed down the hallway towards the kitchen, making her start laughing like crazy again. You and Nate just gave each other knowing looks, smiling, then headed down the hall after them. 

~*~

The following days were the best days you’d had in almost a month. 

Everything between you and Auston was good, there were no further issues between the two of you and everything felt right once again. The best part too was that after one game in Buffalo two days after you and Auston had your talk, the Leafs were on bye week. So, Auston was going to be home during that entire week and then once the team started up again, there was a nice home game stretch. You were thrilled. 

Although the day after you stayed with your family, Nate flew back to Montreal while your dad and Alice went back to Vancouver, it definitely wasn’t as hard as a goodbye. Unfortunately, your dad and Alice weren’t able to get more time off work to come back to Toronto the following week for Mia’s birthday. But, Nate and Mya were going to be there and that was more than you could’ve asked for. Also, your dad and Alice made sure to spend a bit more time with Mia and gave her a little gift before they had to get to Pearson and fly home. 

On the Monday before Mia’s birthday, you were out with Mitchy picking up a few things in preparation for the little birthday party you and Auston were having for her that following weekend. It worked out nicely too because you didn’t have much work to do for your job that day and managed to finish it all before Mitch picked you up then the two of you embarked on your shopping trip together.. 

Mia’s actual birthday was on Thursday, which was going to consist of your little family just having a little chill day to yourselves before going to Mitch and Steph’s house for dinner because, as Mia’s godparents, the two of them insisted that there was no way they weren’t seeing their goddaughter on her birthday. But the party set to take place on Saturday was a completely different story. 

“So, you’re just not going to help me with figuring out what to get Mia?” Your cousin asked as the two of you sat down at a table to grab some lunch together before heading home. “Selfish.”

“Mitch, I don’t even know what to get her,” you replied. “Auston was the one that came up with her birthday gift this year. I’ll probably get her a toy of some sort just to toss in with it seeing as Auston picked out clothes and stuff. And besides, you don’t have to get her anything.”

He scoffed at your last comment.

“Did he show you what he picked out at least?”

“No! He hid everything from me so I wouldn’t give him shit about it.”

“Now why would you give him shit?” Mitch asked, laughing. 

“I think the fact that he dropped a Gucci bag while taking out the recycling this morning, then looked at me with wide eyes before booking it into the garage and avoiding the situation entirely, speaks enough for itself,” you responded, making your cousin laugh even harder. 

“Incredible.”

“Mia doesn’t need Gucci slides, Mitchell. She’s two.”

“Try telling that to your husband,” he replied with a shrug, making you roll your eyes. “And here I am wondering how the hell me and Steph are going to do better than last year's gift.”

“Is it wrong of me to guess that you won’t?” You questioned while looking at him with an expression that resembled the yikes emoji, earning yourself a look of disbelief from your cousin. 

“Y/N!”

“What? You know how much Mia loves that stuffed whale that you and Steph got her last year. It’s literally her comfort item. I genuinely don’t know how you expect to top that when even me and Auston can’t.”

“Ok, that’s fair. That makes me feel a bit better.”

“Drama queen,” you grumbled just as the waiter approached, thankful that their presence seemingly covered what you just said. 

You and Mitch were at one of your favourite restaurants in the city, so neither of you needed to look at the menu to know what you wanted seeing as it was the place you frequented the most together. So, after kindly greeting the waiter, who already recognized the two of you, and placed your orders, you both soon fell into comfortable silence and began doing your own thing while waiting. 

Almost instinctively, you messaged Auston to see what he and Mia were up to and how they were doing. He briefed you on how he took Mia downtown to the Distillery District with Frank and that they walked around for a bit before going on a little lunch date themselves before going back home to unwind a bit. You couldn’t help but smile at the image that entered your thoughts as you picture your little family on their day off, but were then interrupted by Mitch laughing out loud. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled after he noticed you jump at his sudden outburst. “Steph just sent me this tweet. Hold on, I’ll send it to you too.”

A moment later, your phone vibrated with a new notification and sure enough, it was a link to the tweet that Mitch was talking about. You clicked it couldn’t help but chuckle when Twitter opened and showed a meme talking about things only people who lived in Toronto would understand. After reading it, you shook your head then went to tap the little home button to see if there was anything new on your feed, but then you realized that you had a notification. 

It was weird though, because you hardly ever used Twitter. When you did, it was just to scroll through and get caught up on things you may have otherwise missed or to see something someone else sent you. However, for the past month you were more drawn to the app and you hated why. 

Since around Christmastime, literally the day after you fainted and learned that you had anemia, you’ve been the subject of an unnecessarily large amount of internet hate and you just couldn’t look away. 

This kind of thing wasn’t new. Ever since you first started dating Auston back at the beginning of 2017, there’d been a fair share of comments and speculations made by accounts with no name or picture that seemingly went out of their to talk shit about your relationship. Usually, you were unbothered by it all. Sure, some of the comments stung but you always reminded yourself that these people knew nothing about your life or your relationship. It was unfortunate there were people in the world that just had nothing better to do than have opinions about strangers and felt the need to bring them down because of it and so it was never something you tried to entertain. But, this time around, their words were really getting to you.

You knew you shouldn’t care, however,  you couldn’t help but wonder what the notification could be about, so, you clicked and saw that you had been mentioned in a tweet. Even more curious, seeing as you didn’t recognize the profile of the person who mentioned you, you then tapped on the tweet to see that it was actually someone defending you. 

And yet, you still felt your heart drop because that tweet was actually part of a whole thread going off about how rough you looked when you and Mitch were briefly seen at Costco about an hour prior while the two of you were there getting supplies for Mia’s party.

You suddenly became more self-conscious of the messy bun your hair was thrown up into on the top of your head. But it wasn’t just that either, it was your baggy grey hoodie that you didn’t even realize actually belonged to Auston until you were met by the familiar scent of his cologne once you put it on and your simple black tights seeing as you were beyond the point of trying to squeeze into jeans anymore with your growing baby bump, as well. The most impressive part of your outfit was how it seamlessly hid your stomach and that wasn’t even intentional. 

When you were getting ready that morning, you didn’t think you’d have to dress up to hangout with your cousin as the two of you did some running around then get lunch, now you were thinking you should have. But why? Why did these people seemingly care so much? But what you really didn’t get was why you once again, took what they were saying to heart. 

Mitch noticed the way your smile soon turned into a frown as you stared at your screen. He wasn’t going to say anything at first, but after a moment passed and he saw your eyes become glossy as you continued scrolling, there was no way he couldn’t.

“Y/N?” He asked, making you jump as you snapped your attention to him. “What’s bothering you?”

Honestly, if it was anyone but Mitch, you would’ve immediately gone into denial. But when it came to your cousin, someone who has been by your side literally your entire life and knew you better than a lot of people, it was impossible because he could just simply read through your lies. 

“It’s stupid, really,” you sighed. 

“If it’s making you upset, it isn’t stupid. Everything ok?”

You didn’t respond, instead you glanced down at your phone at the still-open Twitter thread then set the device down on the table and slid it towards your cousin. Mitchy looked at you skeptically, but then picked up your phone and started reading what was on the screen as well.

It didn’t take long for his eyebrows to furrow in disappointment as he scrolled and took even less time for that disappointment to turn into anger. 

“Mitchy-.”

“Who the hell do these people think they are?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered, shaking your head as you fought to keep the tears you already knew were welled up in your eyes from spilling over. “I try so hard not to pay attention to things like that Mitch, but they've been coming for my throat lately and having that on top of everything else I’m dealing with is just a lot.”

“Y/N, there’s a comment of someone saying apparently you looked worse today than when another person saw you last week when you were crying,” he explained, sounding confused but also pissed off. “How long has it been this bad?”

“About a month now. And yeah, I saw those comments as I was getting home from the appointment I had with my therapist last week. That’s why I was crying.”

“Excuse me? That’s what they’re referring to?” Mitch asked incredulously. “Oh, my god. Y/N, I’m so sorry, this is fucked up. I’m tempted to say something, I-. What does Auston think about it all?”

“No, don’t!” You stressed, knowing full well that he’d definitely make a comment in your defence if you didn’t stop him. “And, Auston doesn’t know.”

“What do you mean he doesn’t know? Has he not seen how upset this is making you?”

“No,” you replied before pausing. “I haven’t let him.”

Mitch’s expression softened at that, but he still looked at you with a stern gaze. 

“Y/N, you can’t keep blocking him out,” he stated. “I know the two of you talked the other day and things are good. You don’t have to deal with this alone. Auston will listen, you just have to give him the chance to.”

“I know,” you said, then sighed again. “Things have just been so good since we talked and that’s what I’ve been focusing on. I honestly forgot about the comments until I saw that I got mentioned in one of them. But you’re right, I don’t know why I just haven’t told Auston. I guess it does kind of indirectly involve him. I’ll tell him once I get home.”

“As you should. He’d probably find a classier way to shut that shit down than I would anyways.”

You laughed at that. 

“You’re not wrong. But thank you, Mitchy. You have no idea what it means to me knowing that I always have you looking out for me. And Steph. I’m very grateful for both of you.”

“Good, cause we’re not going anywhere,” he stated as a matter of factly, then glanced away as he noticed the waiter approaching again. “Also, I’ll be following up on whether or not you told Auston.”

“Yes, Mitchell. I’d expect nothing less.”

After you finished getting lunch with Mitchy, he drove you home, but didn’t leave without saying hi to Mia first seeing as she was already out with Auston when Mitch picked you up. He didn’t stay for too long though seeing as he knew he’d be seeing his goddaughter again in the upcoming days for her birthday. 

Once Mia was done saying bye to her Mitchy, Auston saw him to the door and locked it behind him while you took your daughter upstairs to put her down for her afternoon nap. You were pretty tired by then, thinking that taking your own nap would be nice too and as you snuck out of Mia’s room and gently closed the door behind you, only to meet Auston in the hallway as he came up the stairs, it seemed like he had the same idea too. 

A few minutes later, the two of you were laying in bed all curled up together. Auston had you wrapped in his arms; his left leg slung over both of yours, while you rested against his chest, letting yourself relax and your eyes gradually flutter shut with each breath he took. He let out a sigh of contentment, and that was when thoughts of your conversation with Mitch started creeping into your mind again. 

There was no point in telling Auston right at that moment about the Twitter trolls, you could easily just tell him later. But since you started thinking about it, you knew you wouldn’t stop until you talked with your husband, therefore, became less relaxed. 

“Something’s bothering you,” Auston spoke, surprising you and making you roll your eyes at how that man could read you like a freaking book.  

“It’s nothing to worry about right now,” you replied and snuggled closer to him. “I’ll tell you after we nap.”

“Babe, I know you. You’re not going to rest until you get whatever it is bothering you off your chest. You can tell me.”

At that, you sighed.

“You know me well, Matthews.”

“I’m assuming that’s part of why you agreed to marry me, isn’t it?” He teased as you shifted away from him so that the two of you could face each other, but not away from his embrace. 

“That, and your irritating charm,” you replied as a matter of factly, making him chuckle. You smiled too as he delicately reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, then leaned against his touch as he let his hand linger there for a moment, studying you. 

“What’s going on in that mind of yours, bub?”

 “A lot of things,” you told him honestly. “Mainly good, but a couple not so good.”

He looked at you and nodded. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yeah, if that’s ok with you.” 

“Of course it is,” he responded. “You never have to ask, you know that. What’s bothering you?”

“Well,” you sighed. “It seems pretty pathetic the more I think of it.”

“It’s not pathetic if it’s getting to you this much. Clearly it’s something important.”

“I- I guess you’re right. But, I think it’ll be easier to show you instead of trying to explain it. Do you have your phone?”

“Yeah, it’s just over there,” he explained, then rolled over to grab the device from there it rested on his bedside table, then faced you again. “Do you need it?”

“No,” you replied, smiling at just how much this man made your heart swell so effortlessly. “But, I want you to go on Twitter for me, please. Then search my first and last name and see what comes up. But make sure it’s our last name.”

Auston looked at you curiously, but still nodded and did as you asked. You laid there and observed as he unlocked his phone, opened Twitter and assumingly typed in your name. As he scrolled, you witnessed his soft and relaxed expression turn hard while he read each and every comment made about you, his brows furrowing as he did so. 

“Babe?” You asked after a couple of minutes.

“Y/N, these things that people are saying about you are so unnecessary,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. “And they’re recent. How long has this been happening?”

“It’s always been a thing, but over the last month it’s just gotten out of hand,” you explained, sniffling a bit as you tried to not get upset over this, but failed miserably. “Some of them are just so mean. I’ve never felt like I was being watched or anything, but now I feel like I’m under this microscope just so people can attack me and go off about how everything I do is wrong. Usually I just ignore it. I don’t know why any of these people think it’s ok to make comments like that on someone’s life without knowing anything about it, but it’s been happening more frequently and it’s hard to ignore, Aus.”

“I don’t even know what to say. They’re talking about you not being at games and making comments about how you look. These people have no clue what the hell you’re going through. This is insane. T-they haven’t made any mean comments about you being pregnant, have they?”

“No, babe. I haven’t seen any comments about that,” you told him, knowing he was already putting blame on himself, which you refused to let him do. “I don’t think anyone assumes that we’re expecting again. Probably because of how I haven’t been going out all that much lately unless it’s with Mia real quick or to an appointment. But, Auston, that’s beside the point. Can you look at me for a sec?”

His brown eyes immediately snapped to yours, moving from his phone screen for the first time since he began reading the tweets. He was frowning and you knew it was because this was beginning to bother him as much as it bothered you.

“This is not your fault.”

“Y/N, the reason people even feel the need to make comments like this about you, is because of me. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be getting attacked like this for literally no reason at all.”

“Do you not think I knew that when we started dating in the first place?” You challenged him. “That I didn't know people would constantly be criticising our relationship? I knew what I was getting myself into and if that was do or die for me, I wouldn’t be here with you right now. You are worth everything. And  besides, Auston, it's not you, it’s them. I didn’t tell you this to upset you. I’m just trying to be better with letting you know how I’m feeling and this is something that’s really been bugging me lately.”

At that, Auston’s hardened expression softened as he took in everything you said, then nodded.

“You’re right,” he spoke softly. “Thank you for not letting me get too in my head about it and for being so open with me, baby.”

“Of course,” you replied while smiling at him, then glanced down at his phone, which still had Twitter open. “I wish I could tell them to fuck off without causing a whole scene because of it.”

“I’ll say something.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Y/N-,” he started to argue, but you cut him off. 

“Please, Auston. Don’t,” you replied firmly. “You know as well as I do that if anyone was to react in my defence to this, especially you, it’d cause an uproar. It’d get way worse before it got better. Although I appreciate the thought and really don’t know how else I can make this better, I know that’s not the way to do it. And besides, I don’t think the Leafs PR would love you picking fights with random accounts on Twitter.”

“Fine,” he sighed, rolling his eyes slightly because he knew you were right. “Just know that if I can come up with a way to shut all of that down without directly telling those people to fuck off, I’m doing it.”

“I’d expect nothing less, and I wish you luck with trying to come up with a way to do that. But for now, I think I’ll just delete Twitter. That way I can just avoid it entirely. Thank you for listening to me vent about this, though.”

“I’m glad you did. And please try to not let what they’re saying get to you, Y/N. They’re not true. These people know nothing about you and if they did, they wouldn’t be able to say any of that because they’d know how amazing you are.”

“Thank you, Aus,” you replied, then leaned over to peck his lips before laying back down and cuddling close to him again. “I don’t know about you, but I definitely need a nap now.”

“You and me both,” he responded then laid down too, making sure to wrap his arms around you again. “Then when we wake up, we’ll get to see our little girl again too.”

~*~

Three days later was Mia’s birthday, which was pretty hard for you and Auston to accept, but you couldn't have asked for the day to turn out any better than it did. 

The morning started pretty simple. You woke up resting against Auston’s exposed upper body, shivering slightly at the cool air that filled the room, then spotted the pyjamas shorts that you never put on the night before partially hanging off the edge of the bed. It was easy to assume that the t-shirt you planned to wear as well must’ve fallen onto the floor during the activities you and your husband engaged in after taking a romantic and intimate bath together. However, you were unbothered by it all because you felt great. 

The sun peeked through the closed curtains, filling your bedroom with warm orange rays of light as the sun continued to rise outside, making you smile as you basked in the rays and at the thought of how it wouldn’t be too long until Mia was awake. Your two-year old. What a concept. 

Auston shifted next to you, making you wonder if he was still asleep or not. But when he gently stroked your arm as he moved his hand up to start playing with your hair, you got your answer. 

“Good morning,” you said, smiling as you moved away from him. You didn’t bother covering your chest either as you kissed his bicep then leaned onto your elbow so you could face him. However, instead of the seeing the usual smile Auston greeted you with most mornings, he was frowning. Which made you do the same. “You ok?”

“What makes you think I’m not ok?” He asked, curiously. 

“You’re moping.”

“I’m not!”

“Ok, if you’re not sulking then let’s go get Mia,” you prodded. “Our two-year old.”

“No, stop,” he whined dramatically and rolled away from you, not stopping until he was on his stomach but still turned his head back to face you. “I’m sensitive.”

“This is hitting you pretty hard, huh?”

“She’s two, babe! Time is moving way too quick. How can I not be upset over that?”

“And dramatic,” you pointed out, making him roll his eyes. 

“You’re acting pretty chill for someone who is the mother of said two year old and her soon to be little sibling,” he challenged, making you frown. 

“I know that, but you don’t gotta remind me.”

“You know I’m teasing,” Auston replied, then leaned over to place a soft peck on your bump before looking up at you. “Man, Mia is going to be the best big sister.”

“She really is,” you agreed while pushing your hand through your husband's hair. “I still don’t think she completely understands the concept of how there’s going to be a baby around all the time in a few months just yet, but she did point to my stomach the other day while we were taking a walk and asked if ‘her baby’ was warm.”

“And I missed it?” He asked while looking at you with a face that resembled the pleading emoji, a pout forming on his lips as you nodded. “What’d we do to deserve the sweetest little girl on the planet as our daughter?”

“I don’t know, but I’d say we’re pretty freaking lucky to have her. God, can you believe that she’s two already? Like that’s insane to me.”

“I don’t think I’ve fully processed it, yet. What do you mean she’s not going to be small forever?”

Both of you laughed after that, but it was really just a way to cover up the pain. However, before either of you could think about it for too much longer, you heard Mia shuffle through the monitor and listened as she said good morning to Frank, who decided to sleep in her room the night before.

“I guess that’s our cue,” you said to Auston, then leaned down to peck the side of his mouth before rolling away from him and getting out of the bed. Goosebumps raised on your skin as you wrapped a blanket around your body and made way to the ensuite, but had to pause when an all too familiar wave of lightheadedness crashed into you. 

“Babe?” Auston asked. Concern laced his voice as he sat up right away and watched you grip onto the duvet and slowly sit down on the ottoman that was positioned at the end of the bed, your eyes closed as you did so. He immediately stood up, keeping the bed sheet wrapped around his lower body as he went to where you were sitting, crouching down and taking your hand into his, noticing how cold you felt, before gently rubbing over your knuckles with his thumb. “Hey, I’m right here.”

“Thank you,” you responded after taking a few deep breaths, then slowly opened your eyes to meet his gaze again once you felt ok enough to do so. “I think I’m alright, must’ve just stood up too fast.”

A small sigh left his mouth as he continued looking at you with the same expression he looked at you with when you told him about the Twitter troll's other dau. As if he was trying to read your mind. 

“I worry about you,” he spoke quietly. You knew he didn’t mean it in a way to upset you and you didn’t take it that way either. Auston was letting himself be vulnerable while getting something off his chest, just like you had been doing a lot lately by working on not shutting him out. The least you could do was listen to him, and you wanted to. “So much. You have no idea how much harder it’s gotten to leave for away games with you constantly feeling like this.”

“It sucks,” you agreed with him. “But, it’ll all be worth it in the end, Aus, when our baby is here. We both just have to stick it out for a few months longer. It’s not going to be easy, but we can do it. I know we can.” 

You maintained eye contact with him as you spoke and were able to see the way his gaze softened as he hung onto every word you said. However, he didn’t respond. Instead, he nodded then pulled you into his embrace, which you gladly accepted.

“You are the strongest person I know,” Auston eventually said, making you laugh slightly, then him to move away so he could look at you again. “I mean it, babe. I swear, you’re like Superwoman. It doesn’t matter what shitty hand you’re dealt, you always see the best parts of it and power through. You’re incredible.”

“Well now you’re going to make me cry,” you replied, letting out another laugh in an attempt to cover the sob that was inevitably going to escape your mouth. When in actuality, tears were already streaming down your face and you were sniffling, but not in a bad way. “And here I was thinking my hormones weren’t going to be as bad as they were when I was pregnant with Mia.”

“Oh, and you claim I’m the one that’s going to be emotional today over it being Mia’s birthday.”

“You are and we both know it.”

“Touche,” he smiled as he squeezed your knee, then leaned in to peck your lips real quick. “Why don’t you wait here and I’ll go grab Mia? Then we can get ready and go downstairs for breakfast.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” you nodded, then watched him stand and leave the room as you began mentally preparing yourself for what the rest of the day would consist of. 

As soon as you and Auston wished Mia a happy birthday, she took the idea of being the centre of attention and ran with it. She absolutely loved and was thriving being the prime focus of everyone who FaceTimed her that morning to wish her well and would make sure to remind you and Auston that it was her special day constantly because of how hyped up she felt. 

A few snarky comments were made between you and Auston over who Mia got her ego from. However, it was still apparent that she got it from her dad, but Auston had to make sure the fact that she got her sass from you was still known. 

After breakfast the two of you gave Mia her gifts. As you suspected, Auston bought her unnecessary luxury items that no two year old in the world would ever need. But, you had to admit Mia looked pretty freaking cute strutting around in a tiny pair of custom Air Force Ones and a Prada bucket hat that matched ones Auston owned too. What you contributed to the gift was this little nurse kit you saw after getting lunch with Mitchy on Monday. It had little toy bandages, a stethoscope and a bunch of other items, along with a little bag to carry them all in. Seeing how Mia was always concerned and wanted to help when she thought one of the people she cared about was sad or hurt, the nurse kit seemed like a very fitting gift. And with the way Mia smiled like crazy once she saw it, then wanted to open the kit right away, you knew you made a good call. 

Once the initial birthday hype dwindled a little bit, a couple of hours later, you found yourself cuddling on the couch with Mia as the two of you watched Inside Out together. You had finished all the work you needed to do for the day and Mia was fading fast as she rested against your side, holding onto her stuffed whale with one arm and letting the other rest on your bump. Each time you glanced down at her, she continued fighting to keep her eyes open. However, once you started gently rubbing her head, seeing as you knew it was nap time, she was done for and soon passed right out.

Not too long after that, Auston returned home after running downtown real quick and thanks to the look you gave him once he walked through the door, knew he needed to be quiet. 

“That didn’t take long,” he spoke softly after he took off his coat and shoes, then came into the living room. He made sure to give you a quick kiss as he walked by, then curled up on the other end of the couch with Frank before looking back to you and smirking. “Did Mia think you weren’t feeling well?”

“Hmm?” You responded, confused by what would make him think that because in the moment, you felt fine.

“You have bandages on your face, bub.”

“Oh! Yeah, she thought I wasn’t feeling good and only agreed to lay down with me and watch the movie if she could make me feel better first. I just forgot that including sticking bandages on my face.”

Auston laughed as he watched you peel off the two bandages from Mia’s nurse kit that were stuck on your cheeks, then looked at you with a kind of serious gaze once your eyes met his again. 

“How are you feeling, though?”

“I’m alright,” you explained. “A little tired, but otherwise, both physically and mentally, I’m feeling pretty good right now. This little girl has been playing a big part in that, for sure.”

“I’m glad,” Auston replied with a smile then stood up again. “You rest. As soon as Mia is awake again, she’ll be wondering when we’re going over to Mitch and Steph’s so you might miss your window of opportunity. I’m going to get a drink, though. Would you like anything?”

“I’d love some water. Thanks, baby.”

“Of course. I’ll be right back.”

You smiled as you watched him leave the room, then let your head fall back against the pillow and took a breath. Mia shifted beside you, but only to snuggle closer to you, which made you smile even wider as softly ran your hand through her curls. Then your gaze fell to your phone, which was resting on the cushion next to you, as it lit up with a notification. 

It was an Instagram notification. After the talk you had with Auston about the unnecessary hate you were getting, primarily on Twitter seeing as that was the only social media account you didn’t have set as private, and how it was affecting your mental health; you deleted the app entirely. Which, in complete honesty, did give you a peace of mind because it was all just easier to ignore that way. Although part of you wished you were gutsy enough to shut down the people who were attacking you, and were well aware of how the people who cared about you had no issue in saying something, ignoring it seemed like the easiest thing to do. 

It was nice seeing a social media notification and not getting anxious because of it, so without thinking too much about it, you unlocked your phone to see what was going on, on Instagram. 

The notification was about something the Maple Leafs account had posted, which instantly piqued your interest because you knew the post would have something to do with either your husband, cousin, or just one of the guys. You knew they weren’t playing that night, they were still on bye week, which made you wonder what the post could be about even more. So, without wasting any more time, you clicked the notification and were brought to the post. 

Much to your surprise, there wasn’t even a proper caption on the post. Instead, it was just a link to donate and a hashtag that said #BellLetsTalk. 

Bell Let’s Talk was something you were very familiar with. It was an annual event hosted by Bell, a major telecommunications company in Canada that was an awareness campaign to help bring attention to and support mental health initiatives across the country, as well as try to end the negative stigma that tends to surround mental health struggles. Although you believed that there should be events similar to this one for every day of the year as opposed to one, you still took part because regardless, it was still for a good cause.

During the event, which lasts 24 hours, Bell donates five cents for every call and text their customers send that day. The same thing goes for every Tweet that is shared using the Bell Let’s Talk hashtag and each time their promotional videos are shared and viewed, as well as a number of other ways for people to take part on all social media platforms.

It was a campaign you supported greatly with how close it hit to home. Having faced mental health struggles for much of your life and knowing how it truly was something that affected everyone in some way, you took part in Bell Let’s Talk and donated to the cause every year. However, up until that moment, you weren’t even aware of how that day was the day of the campaign. 

Your immediate thought was to go to Bell’s website so you could donate, but before you could do that, you noticed that what the Leafs posted was a video when JT’s face appeared on your screen. The video was muted, but you were quick in turning your volume up so you could hear what he was saying. 

“Today is Bell Let’s Talk Day,” he spoke calmly, before it cut to a clip of Mitchy. 

“Mental health is something that affects us all,” your cousin said. “Whether it be something you personally face, or maybe a loved one, it’s important to bring light to these struggles and help end the stigma that surrounds them.”

“People face internal battles that you know nothing about,” Auston’s voice started, then showed him wearing the exact same black hoodie and cream coloured beanie he’d been wearing all day. “There’s no way of knowing what someone may be going through regardless of what is seen on the outside and it’s up to us to be respectful of that. Kindness goes a lot further than unnecessary hate.”

“It’s ok to not be ok,” Mo spoke next. “Ways you can help end the stigma is by clicking the link below. If you’re unable to donate, a simple tweet using the Bell Let’s Talk hashtag, Snapchat filter, or view on Bell’s video will get five cents donated towards mental health initiatives across Canada. Help be the change.”

The video went dark, and you could feel the tears welled in your eyes as you closed out of the app then looked up at Auston as he entered the room again, chuckling slightly at the way the smile that was on his face dropped once he saw you. 

“Are you ok? Did something happen?” He asked, concerned.

“No,” you told him, smiling as you shook your head, but still being careful not to disturb Mia. “I’m fine, babe. I did just see the Bell Let’s Talk video the Leafs posted, though.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s what I had to run downtown for. Did I forget to tell you?”

“You didn’t forget. You’re not that smooth, Matthews.”

“Ok, ya got me there,” he replied, letting out a small laugh as he walked towards you, then crouched down so he’d be eye level with you. “I know how important this campaign is to you and with how you’ve been getting attacked even while dealing with your own shit so much lately, I figured this would be a good way for me to subtly address that issue as well as support a great cause.”

At that, you closed your eyes and shook your head again. 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” you told him honestly, and didn’t miss the small grin that tugged at his lips once you opened your eyes again. “I mean it. Thank you, Auston. Thank you for caring and never making me feel like what goes on in my mind is a burden.”

“You’re never a burden to me, Y/N. Please don’t ever forget that.”

“I’ll try not to, I promise.”

“Good,” he responded, then leaned forward to meet your mouth in a sweet kiss. You smiled against his lips, then used your free arm that wasn’t wrapped around Mia to pull him closer. After a moment, the two of you broke away from each other, but Auston stayed where he was and leaned his forehead against yours and smirked. “Did you donate?”

“Not yet,” you told him, grinning because you knew where he was going with this. “I’m not telling you how much I’m donating either because I know you’ll try to one-up me like you do every year.”

“Just trying to support a good cause,” he shrugged, then winked at you. “Proud of you though for continuously supporting something you believe in though, babe. It’s kind of hot, I must say.”

You rolled your eyes. 

“Leave it to you to turn a serious talk into flirting.”

“Why are you acting surprised?”

“Oh, I’m not,” you stated. “I expect it at this point.”

“As you should,” Auston said then pecked your lips once more before standing up again. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to squeeze in a nap before that one wakes up again.”

“Well come on then,” you replied and scooted a little closer to Mia. The couch cushions were obnoxiously wide and Auston could easily fit where you and Mia were laying. The three of you had cuddled in that same position many times before and by the way Auston stayed smiling as you said that, you knew he wasn’t opposed to the idea either. 

“Well, if you insist,” he responded, then waited as you shifted onto your side so that you’d be facing Mia and Auston crawled into the space behind you, wasting no time in getting into a big spoon position as he held you close and you both eventually fell asleep too. 

~*~

The rest of Mia's birthday consisted of going over to Mitch and Steph's for dinner and not much else, but the birthday festivities didn't end there. Two days later was Mia's birthday party with all the friends and family that could make it, and you were pretty damn excited.

The day after Mia's birthday, Nate and Mya arrived. Mya stayed for the weekend and would be flying back to Vancouver on Sunday evening, the day after Mia's party. However, Nate came packed with a giant suitcase and a gym bag full of belongings seeing as he was going to be staying at your house for the foreseeable future. It wasn't really discussed just how long Nate would be staying, but you didn't feel like you needed to. You were happy to welcome your brother into your home for however long and could tell that Auston and Mia didn't hate the idea either. 

Nate made the five and a half-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto, getting to your house around noon, then crashed in one of the guest room he was claiming as his own for the duration of his stay. A couple of hours later, after he woke back up, the two of you took his car to Pearson so you could pick up Mya, then went back home to spend the rest of the evening hanging out. 

Mia refused to leave her aunt and uncle's side until she had to go to bed; she was just so happy to have them around again. Nate and Mya ended up being the ones to put her to bed that night before joining you and Auston back downstairs to watch a movie before you all soon went to bed as well. 

The next morning, you were up early so you could start making breakfast for everyone and get all the last minute things organized for Mia's party. Normally you'd spend some of your weekends doing freelance writing and editing, seeing as the rest of the week was consumed by your PR job, which luckily you were able to work from home doing both. But this weekend, you took off entirely and left open, so you could spend time with your loved ones and, of course,  celebrate your daughter all over again. 

Not long after you first got downstairs, Auston soon entered the kitchen carrying a still sleepy-looking Mia as she leaned against his shoulder and tiredly knuckled at her eyes. 

"Morning, mommy," she greeted, her voice a little scratchy once she and Auston were beside you, then leaned away from her dad so she could hug you. 

You were at the end of being 20 weeks pregnant, and your bump was enough proof of that. Every day you were convinced that your stomach got larger, but more importantly, you just couldn't believe that you were already halfway to meeting your new baby, and you were so excited. 

Mia became accustomed to resting against your bump whenever you held her. She claimed that 'her' baby was in there and would talk to your stomach from time to time as well. She was taking the idea of you being pregnant really well, even though she didn't fully understand it, but you couldn't be happier about it. 

"Good morning, sweet girl," you replied, then took her from Auston and held her on your side. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah," she told you, then leaned against your shoulder just like she had with Auston. "Breakfast?"

"Yes, I'm making pancakes. Your favourite. Did you brush your teeth with daddy?"

"Yup!"

"Good job, baby," you responded, then placed a series of kisses on her cheek, earning yourself a series of giggles as she squirmed in your hold. Once she stopped moving around, you gave her a little squeeze and looked at your husband, who was looking towards you and Mia but seemed to be a little zoned out, then smiled. "Aus?"

"Hmm?" Auston asked and shook his head slightly before looking towards you.

"You seem in deep thought."

"Oh, uh, just thinking about everything, I guess. Mainly about how much I love my two girls, though."

You gave him a look in response, but he just smiled then engulfed both you and Mia in a bear hug. 

"Daddy!" Mia groaned and pushed him away, but she was trying to get a reaction from him with the way she was smiling at him.

"Mia! I'm hurt," he gasped as he moved away from the two of you and held a hand over his heart in fake pain. 

"What a drama queen," you whispered to Mia, making her giggle again. However, before she could respond, a genuine gasp left her mouth, which had both you and Auston on high alert. 

"Mama," she whined as she clung onto you but began squirming in your hold, moving her leg away from where it was resting against your stomach. "I don't like that."

She then looked down at your bump, which you had to admit, felt a little weird for some reason and then it all clicked. What you and Mia were feeling was your baby moving for the first time. 

"Oh, Mia," you started with a small laugh, then glanced towards Auston, who looked very confused. "That's the baby moving around."

"Wait, are you serious?" Auston asked, then moved towards you and went to place his hand on your stomach, his face lighting right up when he felt the movements too. "They're moving."

"They're moving," you repeated, then let out a small sob once Auston looked at you again. It simply wasn't possible for you not to cry during that moment, but at least they were happy tears. Your baby moving was the reminder you needed to know that every hill you've had to climb and will continue to during this pregnancy will be so worth it in the end. 

Auston then had you engulfed in another hug and kissed you sweetly before anything else can be said. However, it wasn't long until the moment was ruined by your two-year old. 

"Baby, stop!" Mia exclaimed, then reached for Auston again so she wouldn't have to feel the baby any longer. 

"Do you not want to feel your baby, mini?" Auston asked as he took Mia and tried not to laugh. 

"No," she replied grumpily, then hid her face against his chest, making both you and him unable to contain your laughter anymore. 

"What's going on?" Mya's voice spoke, causing you to glance towards the doorway into the kitchen just as she walked in.

"Tee!" Mia said excitedly, then reached towards your sister. Auston set her down, and she sped right over to Mya, who wasted no time in scooping her up and holding her close.

"Hi, bestie!" Mya replied, then hugged her niece before looking at you and Auston. "Mmm, it smells good in here. What're you making?"

"We've got some pancakes, sausage, bacon, fruit and toast right now," you told her, then glanced towards Auston. "If you guys want eggs, by all means, but I cannot do the smell of them right now."

"That's fine. I can make some if you want to go get dressed," Auston suggested and leaned down to peck your lips again. "That way, you won't have to smell them."

"Deal."

"Mia, wanna go wake up your Uncle Nate?" Mya asked. 

"Yeah!" Mia replied, smiling widely as Mya carried her out of the room. 

You then looked at Auston, who was smirking at you before shaking your head again and heading upstairs with Frank to get changed into the outfit you planned on wearing that day. 

About 45 minutes later, you were changed, had eaten breakfast with your family and were now getting everything organized before everyone began arriving at your house for the party. Once you were all done eating and everyone helped clean up, Nate and Mya started getting dressed to go outside. 

"You guys going somewhere?" You asked the two of them as you stepped into the foyer from the living room. 

"Uh, yeah, we just have to go pick something up real quick," Nate explained, awkwardly glancing towards Mya as if silently asking for help as he did so. 

"Ok, weirdos. Everyone's going to start getting here around 4."

"We'll be back in like an hour," Mya stated, then glared at Nate, making it known that the two of them were up to something.

"Y'all are shady," you teased. "Where are you even going?"

"Hey, Mia, want to come with us?" Nate asked, then tried to glance around you to see where Mia was in the living room still with Auston—smoothly changing the subject.  

"Ok!" Your daughter replied, then came running into the foyer and over to her aunt and uncle. 

"You can't just take my kid," you scoffed. 

"We'll be right back," Mya said again, then started helping Mia put on her coat and boots. "She'll be fine."

"Babe, they're right," Auston spoke up as he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your middle. "She'll be fine with them. You know that."

"Fine," you grumbled and leaned back against Auston. "But not for too long. Mia's going to need a nap still before people start getting here. Also, just take my car, so you don't have to move her car seat."

"Sounds good," Nate responded as he opened the front door, then held his hand out for Mia to take, and the two of them walked out of the house together. 

"See ya!" Mya said, then went outside after the other two and closed the door behind her, leaving you and Auston alone in the house with Frank.

"They're up to something," you told Auston, then turned around in his hold so you could face each other. 

"When aren't they?" Auston chuckled. "I swear those two are always plotting."

"You've got a point."

He smiled at that, which soon turned into a smirk. 

"I didn't get the chance to say how good you look, baby."

"Oh," you replied softly, then glanced down at your outfit. You weren't wearing anything spectacular for the party, just a pair of ripped maternity jeans that fit you really well and a black off the shoulder long-sleeved shirt that admittedly did make your boobs look good. The outfit was accessorized with a gold necklace with a little circular disc that had an Aquarius symbol on it, Mia's zodiac sign that Steph gifted you on your birthday the year Mia was born, along with a bracelet Auston got you as a wedding gift. Your hair was in simple waves, but it seemed so soft and was glowing, which tied everything together. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that he was right. You did look good. 

Auston told you that you were beautiful every day, but this was the first day in a while that you actually felt that way. Every one who would be at Mia's party knew you were pregnant, so you didn't feel the need to hide it. Sure, you knew you didn't have to hide your pregnancy regardless, but with your loved ones, you felt comfortable enough to let your pregnancy glow really show. 

You then moved your gaze back to Auston and smiled. 

"Thank you, babe," you told him and welcomed the way his hands lingered on your waist as he pulled you closer. 

"Do you think we have time to go upstairs and, well, you know," he suggested as he looked down at you with heavy eyes full of lust. 

You bit down on your bottom lip, pondering what he was proposing for a moment, then grinned and took his hand to lead him up to your bedroom. 

"Yes, but let's make it quick."

About an hour later, after you and Auston were done with your activities upstairs, the two of you went back down to the living room and cuddled on the couch with Frank as you both waited for Nate, Mya and Mia to return home.

Not too long after that, you heard a car pull into the driveway and knew they were back. You and Auston didn't move from your spot until the front door opened. Mia's giggles filled the house, which instantly made you smile as you shifted out of Auston's hold and got up from the couch, but your mouth soon dropped open when you turned around to look into the foyer and saw a familiar blonde standing there holding your daughter. 

"Lexie?" You asked and covered your mouth as tears began pricking at your eyes as you rushed around the couch so you could greet your best friend. 

Lexie was your oldest friend. The two of you met when her family moved into a house down the street when you were both eight years old and have been inseparable ever since. She had been by your side for as long as you could remember and never strayed away. Lexie played a major role in helping you cope with your mom's death when you were 13. She was with you through the shitshow that your life felt like after you found out your ex-boyfriend, Chris, who you had been with since you were 16, was cheating on you and broke up with him five months before you met Auston and stuck around for everything in between. Nate and Mya called her their sister, and Mitch called her his honorary twin. That's how close the two of you were. 

She was also your roommate all through university, saw your relationship with Auston form and was just someone you've confided in for most of your life. Almost 20 years after the two of you first met, you were both still so incredibly close. Even though she moved to the States after you both graduated, that did nothing to strain your friendship. She was a bridesmaid in your wedding, a prominent figure in Mia's life regardless of the distance and just truly one of the best friends you've ever had. 

You and Lexie would talk at least once a week, and during your conversation the weekend prior, she apologized for not being able to come back to Toronto for Mia's birthday. It was apparent that she felt terrible, and sure, you were bummed you wouldn't be able to see your best friend, but you weren't upset. You understood that she couldn't make it, but now she was standing in your foyer, and you didn't know how to act. 

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean, what am I doing here?" Lexie scoffed and winked at you as she gave Mia a little squeeze. "Couldn't miss this little girl's second birthday, now could I?"

"Lexie, mama!" Mia said excitedly and couldn't stop smiling, making you feel like your heart could burst. 

Nate and Mya then peaked their heads in through the door, smiling widely. 

"Surprise!" They said in unison before coming into the house carrying bags. You then heard more doors close outside and felt confused once again. 

"I hope you don't mind, but why we really needed your car was because we needed it to pick up some other people from the airport too," Nate explained, then nodded towards the doorway just as Ema walked through the door with the rest of Auston's family not too far behind. 

You were full-on sobbing by that point and were quick in turning to hide against Auston's chest so no one would have to see your ugly cry as Auston laughed and wrapped his arms around you. 

"I'm surprised you all were able to pull it off," he said, then kissed the top of your head. 

"Wait, you were in on this?" You scolded as you moved away to look up at him, but as he grinned at you, you couldn't even pretend to be mad, then hugged him again. "Thank you, Auston."

After that, you pulled away from your husband to hug Lexie and Auston's family before everyone got settled in. 

When you and Auston first moved into your home in Toronto, it always felt big, but that was exactly what you wanted. Although there was one less bedroom now that the one across the hall from Mia's room was being transformed into a nursery, there was still enough room for everyone. Nate claimed one of the guest bedrooms on the main floor to sleep in for the duration of his stay at your house, then Mya and Lexie took the other main floor bedroom, which they would share for the next couple of days until they both had to leave. Auston's family took the basement, which was finished with two bedrooms, a washroom and a pullout couch in the living area. 

It was a full house but in the best way possible and only got better when everyone started arriving for Mia's party. 

Mitch and Steph arrived first, naturally, and you were quick in finding out that they too were in on Lexie, surprising you. Mitchy then immediately scooped up Mia as she came running into the foyer to greet him and Steph. He made his way down the hall towards the kitchen with her to say hi to everyone, leaving you and Steph to give each other a knowing look on how it'd be a while before anyone else got the chance to hang out with the birthday girl. 

Mitch's parents and brother Chris arrived not too long after, so did some friends and guys from the team along with their significant others and kids. Then the party really began. 

Mia loved having so many people she knew and loved around and had no issue being the centre of attention either. Once Mitch finally set her down again, she immediately went over to Freddie, Will and Mo, three of her favourite guys, and just sat on Fred's lap, completely content as he continued the conversation he was having. 

 An hour or so went by, and Mia was still living her best life. You and Auston knew that she would go to sleep smoothly that night because of how exhausted she'd be, but she was having so much fun, so it was definitely worth it. 

After everyone had something to eat and those who weren't driving grabbed another drink, you all gathered in the living room and dining room so Mia could open the excessive amount of gifts she had waiting for her. She got equipped, putting on her Prada bucket hat as she sat on Alex's lap then dug right in. 

Spoiled was an easy way of putting it when it came to the things Mia received for her birthday, but even then, she didn't let it get to her head. After every gift she opened, Alex would tell her who it was from, and Mia would climb off her lap, go over to whoever the present was from to hug them and say thank you before going back to her aunt and opening the next thing. 

You and Auston stood in the doorway, watching it all unfold. He stood behind you, his arms wrapped around your front again as you leaned back against him, his head gently resting on top of yours. You were pretty sure you saw Steph taking a picture of the two of you out of the corner of your eye, but you brushed it off as you shifted and placed a soft peck to Auston's bicep. 

"I still can't believe she's two," Auston said, thinking his voice was only loud enough for you to hear but was greatly mistaken. 

"Great, here we go," Lexie started from where she stood a few feet away, then looked over to where Mitch, Steph, Nate and Mya were all standing and held up her half-empty wine glass. "Drink."

They all took a drink, and that's when you noticed that many others in the room did too. 

"Hey," Auston whined as he looked around at everyone. "What's going on?"

"We all made a drinking game," Will spoke up. "Whenever you get sulky about Mia being a year older, we have to drink."

"I'm allowed to be, ok!" Auston defended, meanwhile you were trying not to cry laugh. 

"That's another drink," Mitchy stated, then cheered his drink with Mo before they all took a sip again. 

Auston looked so offended, which only made it better as everyone started laughing. 

"Babe, do you see what they're doing to us?" He asked and looked down at you. 

"This isn't about Y/N. This is about you," Bre told him. 

"Yeah, we only drink when it's you getting emotional," Steph elaborated. "Y/N is pregnant. She gets a free pass."

"Well, I'll just keep my mouth shut then, I guess," Auston grumbled, then went back to leaning against you and lowered his voice. "Even though she's going to be my mini forever."

"Drink!"

~*~

Almost a week later, you found yourself laying on the bed in the same building your doctor was in, about to get an ultrasound so you could see how your baby was doing and find out their gender. 

It was just a regular Friday afternoon, and you hadn't done a whole lot that morning, but you were exhausted. You had trouble falling asleep the night before because you got so nervous. Although you were just having a regular checkup with your doctor then getting the ultrasound done, you couldn't help but feel anxious because you kept worrying you were going be told something you didn't want to hear yet again when it came to you and your baby. 

You were scared, to put it simply. But luckily for you, Auston was there. 

Bye week had come to an end, and Auston was back playing games again, but they were at home. After the game he was to play the following day, the Leafs would be on the road again. But you got almost two full weeks of your husband being at home the entire time, so you weren't going to be greedy about it either. 

Auston had a practice that morning, so the plan was for him to meet you downtown for your appointments after. Your first appointment wasn't until 2pm, so as you waited until then, you, Mia, Nate, Steph and Lexie all got lunch downtown with Auston's family. Auston's family was flying back to Arizona that weekend, so it was just them and Nate in the house still, but you loved it. 

Ema, Alex and Bre all joined you for a few trips to various stores as you slowly continued getting things ready for your baby's nursery, and you spent a lot of nights in the kitchen having talks with Brian about everything going on in life. You adored Auston's family, that was a known thing, and you couldn't even begin to explain how much it meant to have them around and as involved as they were.

The same went for Nate and Lexie. He'd only been staying at your house for a week, but Nate had been so helpful around the house without you even having to ask. He just did his own thing but was also there helping with chores, keeping Mia occupied while you did work and taking Frank for walks whenever he felt like stepping out of the house for a bit. Lexie only stayed at your house for a couple of nights before visiting with friends and family she hadn't seen since the last time she was in Toronto. You still saw her almost every day, though. There was even a day where you and Mia joined her in driving a couple of hours out of the city to visit her parents, who you hadn't seen in a long time. But were always like second parents to you. 

Lexie would be staying in the city for at least another week, which was terrific. You had so many people that you cared about around again, which was amazing. You still had your usual Toronto fam, too, with Mitchy, Steph and some of the other guys on the team along with their wives and girlfriends. You still got to see a lot even without going to as many games as you usually would if you felt better physically. 

You woke up that morning feeling a little lightheaded and nauseous, which you immediately assumed was because of your anemia, but you knew it was also because of your nerves. However, as the day progressed and you spent time with your loved ones, you gradually felt better about your upcoming appointments. Then when you met up with Auston after lunch, those worries went away even more. 

Just having him near did wonders for your nerves seeing as he and Mia were two of your constant reminders that everything would be alright. 

The appointment with your doctor went much better than you were expecting. She could tell you were nervous but had nothing bad to share, which made you feel like an invisible weight had been lifted from your chest. Your baby was healthy, and so were you, which is all you wanted to hear before going down a couple of floors to where you'd be getting your ultrasound done. 

Mia was so good during it all too, and Auston was a big reason for that. She was just naturally more comfortable in any setting whenever he was around. Although she wasn't a fan of all the weird-looking machines in the ultrasound room, Auston kept her calm as the two of them chatted from where they sat on the other side of the room.

"Mia, what is with you and touching my moustache today?" Auston asked, making you laugh as you turned your head towards them and continued waiting for the doctor to come in. He had a point, though. Mia had been oddly fascinated by his moustache that day and just wouldn't stop poking it. Just after he said that she touched it again. "Mini!"

"Caterpillar, daddy," she replied casually, making Auston's mouth fall open in disbelief, and you gasp as you tried to contain your laughter. 

"Excuse me, did you just say my moustache looked like a caterpillar?"

"Yup," she confirmed, earning a scoff from her father. "Not pretty, though."

"I, I don't even know what to say to that," he responded, feeling speechless as he looked towards you for help.

"Don't look at me," you chuckled. "I haven't been telling her that, but I think I know who has."

"Hmm, looks like someone has been spending too much time with her uncle," Auston said, knowing what you were implying as he looked back to Mia. "The next time Uncle Nate says that mini, you tell him that at least your daddy can grow a moustache, unlike him."

"Oh, my God," you groaned, still smiling but soon had to recollect yourself as the doctor came in and did your ultrasound. 

The ultrasound also went really well. It didn't take too long. The doctor was great and even let Mia come over to stand next to the bed and hold your hand as it all happened. Then you, her and Auston were able to go back home together, having further confirmation that your baby was doing ok and their gender. 

You were thrilled. Both you and Auston cried a little bit after finding out and couldn't stop smiling as you explained what it all meant to Mia. 

Once the three of you got home, you all went upstairs to your bedroom and decided to lay down together. No one else was home, everyone was out still, and you knew they wouldn't be back until closer to dinnertime, which gave the perfect opportunity for a little family nap. 

After you changed into some comfy clothes, you and Mia got all snuggled in bed together as Frank curled up at the end of it, and Auston went into the ensuite to take a quick shower. Mia was fading fast as she cuddled you, resting against your bump and fighting to keep her eyes open as you mindlessly played with her curls. 

A few minutes later, Auston emerged from the ensuite, but Mia was already asleep. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of his two girls and wasted no time walking over to the bed. You went to shift to look at him better, but he quickly stopped you.

"Wait, no, can you stay like that for a sec?"

"Oh," you replied, confused, but still did as he asked. 

Auston then grabbed his phone and held it above where you and Mia were lying so he could snap a picture of the two of you. You chuckled and immediately looked down towards Mia so that your face would be covered by your hair a little bit. Once he was done taking the picture, he sat down and looked towards you again. 

"She's really going to be a big sister soon," he said disbelievingly and shook his head. "Like we've known for months now, but I just still can't wrap my head around it."

"Me neither," you told him and smiled softly. "Everything is going to be so different, but in the best possible way. Hell, even this pregnancy has been different. I'm not even referring to what I've been going through, either. This has really been able to stay our little secret aside from our loved ones, and that just feels good. We're going to be the ones to share our news, not anyone else."

"Exactly. Speaking of that, I think I have an idea for how we can share our news before we lose our chance to do so."

"It's overly dramatic, isn't it?"

"A little bit," he admitted. "But in a good way. Might end up breaking the internet a little bit, though."

"Auston," you started, feeling a little unsure. 

"Only if you're ok with it, of course. We don't have to."

After he explained his idea, you shook your head at how wild it was. 

"Babe, that'll literally be how our friends and family find out what we're having too. You know that, right?"

"I do," Auston nodded. "Which makes me want to do it a bit more. I'm feeling kind of chaotic."

"I can tell," you responded as he crawled under the blankets on the other side of Mia, then looked back to you. "But, if that's what you want to do, then sure. I'm just glad it's on our terms."

"Me too, just get ready for all the calls and texts from everyone."

"Oh, I'm ready."

The two of you fell silent as Auston went on his phone, then a couple of moments later, your phone lit up with a notification saying that you'd been tagged in a picture on Instagram. Although you already knew what it was, you still gave Auston a look, then unlocked your phone to see what the picture was of and felt speechless as you took it in. 

The photo was the one he'd just taken about ten minutes prior, and it was beautiful. Your baby blue sweater stuck out against the white bedding you laid on and looked aesthetically pleasing with the way it matched the tiny elastic that was holding Mia's hair away from her face as she slept. Mia's face was only partially visible as she laid next to you with her arm draped over your bump. Your face was in it more than Mia's was, which you preferred, and you were looking down at Mia with a huge smile, and even you had to admit, it was a lovely picture. Auston sure was getting better with using portrait mode.

However, this picture wasn't just announcing your pregnancy to the world. It also revealed something else that Auston typed out as the photo's caption. 

Baby boy Matthews, coming soon. See you in June, little man. 💙

[iamjungkooked]

Mr. Min

↳Pairing: Min Yoongi x female reader

↳Genre: Romance (all fluff)

↳Word count: 4.7K

↳Rating: G

↳Warnings: None

↳Summary:

Min Yoongi is the asshole boss who keeps you late at work every night. But then you find out why and it gives you the upper hand.

A/N: I hope you guys like it!! Finally wrote something less than 5k. It has been a while for sure. Cross posting this from my other blog @iamtaekooked​. You guys have been following me on here even though i am like never on here its crazy. I LOVE YOU ALL. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I AM GOING TO TRY POSTING MORE IF MY LIFE LETS ME.

Your hand begins cramping as you finish writing the report for asshole number one Min Yoongi. Writing a report is easy, but having to write it by hand is what makes you want to strangle him. The tiny blue desk clock strikes 11 pm and once again you lose out on the opportunity to live your life. At this point, you have lost track of how many times you have stayed late at the office while your friends enjoy their weekends with dinners, movies and activities. Sometimes it’s so bad that you video call them just as you’re about to drift off to sleep.

You don’t even bother to hope to go home early anymore. Min Yoongi always finds ways to make you stay late with him. You went through the five stages of grief at first because you felt your life was being taken away from you. You even thought of threatening him with a lawsuit because he couldn’t make you work over 40 hours a week. When you did he was quick to turn the tables by offering you overtime pay-- and not a measly sum. It was money you couldn’t turn away. So, once again you let yourself fall prey to his actions.

Slowly but surely you began getting used to this so-called “routine”. Gradually, hours started fading into one another until one day you became so habituated with staying late (and to the mind-boggling pay) that Yoongi didn’t even have to come to your cubicle to hand you anything. You already asked him in the morning for your evening assignment. One would think this would be a hint for him-- but no. The man was as clueless as one could be.

Like any other night, you had an assignment, one which Yoongi labelled as important. But then again everything was important. Any task he assigned (or rather you asked for) he classified as important. You wondered if he understood what the word means because if everything is important then technically nothing is. Rather than ask him about it, which wasn’t necessary anyway you did what you were handsomely paid to do.

A sigh passed your dry lips. Once again you grabbed the pen and began writing-- this time going as fast as your wrist would allow. The ink flowed from the pen to the paper in black scribbles, hardly understandable. But you could not bring yourself to care. He would have to deal with it, and that was that.

Having written the last sentence, you capped the pen and pushed back the chair so you could go to his office. Your heels hurt from wearing six-inch pumps all day. No less would do because turns out asshole Min Yoongi had made that provision because apparently, it looked “more professional”. While walking to his office you just imagined torturing him in your mind by making him wear these fucking heels. It was slightly comical imagery but also satisfying, so much so that you could not help yourself from smiling.

You knocked on the opaque glass door as you reached his office. It was customary for you to knock once and for him to not answer. Normally you would slide the documents or whatever is needed under the door because Yoongi had specifically requested he not be disturbed. But something prompted you to stick your head against the glass door and peer inside through the clear margins. You couldn’t see anything so despite Yoongi’s “request” you turned the knob, opened the door slightly and peeked your head inside. The scene in front of you however was not quite something you were expecting.

Min Yoongi was laying back against his very comfortable looking plush leather rotating chair, with his headphones on, legs resting on top of the table and his eyes fixed with a concentration on his laptop. There were empty boxes of takeout at his desk and the whole image conveyed to you that he hadn’t actually done any work. It was an inkling, which means you could be wrong. But you would be damned if you didn’t make your presence known.

You walked inside, standing halfway between him and the door and cleared your throat as loud as you could. There was no response as expected. You walked a few steps and stopped just short of his desk, yet he still did not notice you. You looked at the report in your hand and threw it on his desk, which landed with a thud. He jumped, and finally looked at you. It took a second but the realization dawned on him. His eyes bulged like he had been caught red-handed and you noticed his adam’s apple bob as he gulped hard.

He hastily took off his earphones and straightened in his chair. “I thought I told you not to disturb me”

“I am sorry, did I ruin the fun?” your brows knit together.

“Do you have the report?” he asked instead.

You look at the papers on his desk and then back at him to make him aware of it sitting in front of his eyes.  

He fumbles with the papers and picks them up. While he’s busy scanning the papers you take in the state of his desk. One side is completely neat with all the binders and files organized, and the other is just filled with trash. As you’re busy studying the contents of his desk, you notice the name of your client’s company on one of the papers. Curiously you reach towards the file, Yoongi still busy reading your report. You scan the pages and realize without even having to read halfway through it that Yoongi had already finished the report and it was marked with yesterday’s date, which means he already sent it to the client.

“Do you care to explain this Mr. Min?” your fingers curl into a fist around the papers.

His eyes widen once more. “Oh shit” he mumbles-- a deer caught in the headlights expression on his face.

He sighs, dropping your report on the table. “Oh fuck” he rubs his forehead. “It’s nothing,” he says with a straight face just a moment after looking like he’d been caught.

“It looks like you already completed the report. Why did I have to do it if you already did it?”

“I wanted you to” he’s quick to reply.

“I am sorry Mr. Min but that is not a good enough explanation. I stayed here even though I did not have to. I find it unfair that I have to do work that has already been done-- and that too by you. I doubt you don’t trust yourself with work”

“That’s enough with the questions” he replied curtly.

“Wait a minute” you look back at the pile of papers on his desk and find a presentation he had asked you to make for him a week ago. However,  the date this presentation was printed was a week before that which means that once again he made you do something that had already been done. Sensing a pattern you decided to confront him right then and there.

“Pardon my french, but why the hell have I been doing work that had already been done?”

Yoongi sighed once more, but this time he sounded more defeated than the first. “Look, I can’t give you an explanation you will like. There isn’t one. But I’ll tell you the truth”

“Good” you fold your arms across your chest.

“You won’t like this either but I asked you to stay late because I wanted you to be here with me. I never got used to working late at night. Something about being alone always irked me, so I started keeping people around. It’s not right, I know” he’s quick to justify just as he noticed you opening your mouth to speak. “Trust me, I know. But then when Brian left and you joined, I knew that I needed you around. So I started asking you to stay late. Turns out, I liked your company more than I have liked anyone else’s so I even started paying you to stay late, which I have never done either” he finishes, The only problem is he doesn’t sound sincere enough. It’s like he’s telling you for the sake of telling you.

“I am sorry Mr. Min but you are not a child. I can’t be putting my life on hold just so you don’t have to be alone at night. Do you have any idea how many occasions and opportunities I have missed in my life because of this? I couldn’t attend my best friend’s graduation, I couldn’t be there for the birth of my nephew because I was here slaving away. To think it was for nothing is terrible. You should really say sorry” you glare at the man, demanding an apology you know you deserve because it doesn’t matter how much money you got paid. It won’t compensate for the memories you could have made.

He purses his lips. “I won’t” he shakes his head. “I know it’s wrong but I don’t say sorry”

You scoff. “You’re an asshole”

He shrugs as if your remark doesn’t bother him in the slightest. “Be that as it may. I did what I did because I like having you around. In fact, I did it because I like you and I am not ashamed of it”

Under normal circumstances, you probably would have been flattered and even blushed at having been confessed to. But these weren’t normal circumstances and on top of that, it was Min Yoongi.

“How about this-- you can go home early for all of next week” he offers.

It actually makes your blood boil because he thinks he’s being generous. But even if you gave him a wide berth, this wasn’t even cutting it close “All of next month actually” you counter, determined in your own way to make him apologize for his actions.

He considers it. A few beats of silence pass as both of you continue to stare at each other. “Fine” he agrees.

“Good.” you say shortly, before turning on your heels and heading towards the door.

➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾➾

Yoongi ends up keeping his word for the whole of next month. If it were up to you, you would have asked him that you will never stay late. But after your anger had died down in a week or so, the rational part of your mind convinced you that the money was too good. And it was. So you didn’t try to extend it.

In that one month, however, Yoongi was being awfully generous towards you. You figured it was his way of making up for his actions.

After a week of your heated conversation with him, you found a bouquet of flowers at home addressed to your best friend. There was no name on it. It turned out you did not need a name, because one you knew whose handwriting it was and secondly, the apology was enough for you to know who they were from.

I am sorry y/n missed your graduation. I realize she should have been there with you and it is my fault she was not. I can’t turn back time but I hope these flowers and this small gift make up for it. Congratulations on your achievement.

Accompanying the flowers was a generous gift, one which could have only been given by Yoongi. A full spa weekend with your best friend. It was an all-inclusive offer.

It felt like he was bribing you to forgive him. But even if that were the case, you felt you deserved this and you would be damned if you let it go to waste. If this is how he wanted to apologize, then so be it. In a way, he was giving you the opportunity to spend quality time with Hana.

Hana was ecstatic. “Isn’t it sweet?” she said dreamily.

You couldn’t help but scoff. “It’s not sweet. It’s what he should be doing. Not this exact thing per se. But he needs to be making up for what he did and he is” you reminded her.

“Fine” Hana was quick to give up because even she knew not to argue.

To apologize, at the end of the month Yoongi also ends up giving you the biggest client. This one you feel conflicted about because you can’t discern his intention. So you do the only thing you can. You went charging to his office to demand an explanation.

Maybe he heard you coming but before you could even open your mouth after entering the room he was already speaking.

“I know,” he says as he gave you one glance before focusing on his laptop as he typed away. “I gave you a client because you deserve it. Trying to make up for troubling you is also part of it, but it’s mostly because you deserve it” he explains without sparing you another glance this time. “It just so happens Karla likes you and I think you can understand each other well as women. Not to mention you have great marketing skills that Karla’s company could use” he finishes speaking and the sound of keys clacking stops as well. He gives you his undivided attention. “So” he joins his fingers in a steeple, elbows resting on the desk. “What do you think?”

You don’t even give it a second of thought. “You made a good decision Mr. Min” corners of your lips curve in a smile.

“Of course I did” he reciprocates your smile. “I never make bad decisions” his smile grows into a knowing grin.

You catch the sarcastic play on words. “I wouldn’t be too sure of that”. Your gaze lingers on his a second longer before you nod and turn away to leave.

Just as you reach for the door, he speaks.

“Do your best”

You turn around and give him a curtsey nod. “You bet I will”

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You’re back to working late nights, but this time with Yoongi in his office on actual things that matter.

You and Yoongi have been working on a pitch for Karla’s company to convince them to change their branding. You work late hours into the night as usual. You flirt here and there, but nothing major happens as you both keep it professional(ish). There are a few laughs exchanged, a couple of longing gazes, moments so thick with tension you could practically taste it on your tongue.

You lean over to look at Yoongi’s list of ideas, but unknowingly invade his personal bubble-- that intimate zone only reserved for significant others/spouses. You get caught up in the moment as you look at him, and he looks at you. For a moment you think he’ll kiss you. But instead, he clears his throat. “I’ll be back” his voice is a whisper.

He gets up hurriedly and leaves, clearing his throat all the way to the door.

You watch his figure disappear behind the opaque glass door.

“Keep it professional” you chide yourself with a shake of the head.

You focus back on your notes, flipping through the pages trying to put a concept map together.

A draft of air hits you and you look in the direction to find Yoongi opening the door. He walks in a few feet, one hand hidden behind his back.

Curiosity piqued and you offer him an inquisitive look. “What are you hiding Mr. Min?”

Wordlessly, he brings his arm forward. In his hand is a bouquet of baby’s breath flowers.

“How did you-” you start.

“I know” he erases the distance between you as he stops just shy of invading your intimate space and holds out the flowers.

You reach for them. “Thank you. But how do you know I like these?”

“You said it” he mentions.

“I did?” you look at him puzzled.

“Two nights ago. We were talking about using florals to brighten up the aesthetic for Karla’s company and you mentioned baby’s breath is your favourite flower”

“ I don’t even remember saying that” you shake your head, almost in disbelief that he remembered. “You actually remembered?”

He nods. “I remember everything you say” he replies“ no matter how sharply you put it” he adds with a chuckle.

At a loss for words, all you can do is stare at the man filled with a foreign feeling.

“Thank you” you finally manage to say.

“You’re very welcome” his lips curve into a smile.

He returns to his seat while you place the flowers on his desk as gently as you can. Once he’s seated you take the opportunity to ask. “Mr. Min” you address him.

“Yeah” he looks at you in a way that makes your heart race faster.

“Why did you give me these?” it feels like the incessant urgent know has been satisfied and you feel relieved.

He shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I wanted to” he looks down at the papers in front of him. A few moments of silence pass as you continue studying him while he keeps his gaze downcast. “An-anyway let's get back to it” he quickly changes the subject.

You nod. Under the dim lighting of his office, for the very first time you notice how handsome he looks. His skin looks like porcelain, his eyes glimmer with a hint of golden flecks around the irises. His lips look buttery soft. You bite back on your lip as you realize how much quicker you’re breathing.

“Is something wrong?” Yoongi questions as he looks up at you.

You vigourously shake your head. “I just— I am sorry”

“I caught you staring didn’t I?” he responds but it’s not really meant to be a question. “I don’t mind. I like the attention” he winks.

Your eyes widen. “I— I wasn’t” your attempt at denying it is futile and even you know it. But you have to at least attempt to save face.

“If it helps, I actually think it’s cute” his lips upturn in a playful smile.

You keep mum, considering there is nothing to say. Even though you don’t speak, the smile on your lips says everything Yoongi needs to know.

You hear him softly laughing and you can sense him just shaking his head. Then you hear something and you aren’t sure if you hear it right but it sounds an awful lot like “you’re cute miss y/n”

You end up spending another hour brainstorming ideas. After that last exchange between you, you thought you couldn’t concentrate. But you did. And once more you flirted a little, exchanged gazes, and avoid as hard as you can to pay no mind to the vibe between you.

“I think we should call it a night” Yoongi stretches his arms over his head with a groan. “You’re tired too”

“Okay” you start gathering all the papers into a pile.

“Don’t worry about this” he waves his hand in a dismissive manner. “I’ll do it. Start getting your stuff together. I’ll drop you off”

“You don’t have to” you reply, the burdensome feeling coming on. “I can go home”

“Did I give you a choice?” he narrows his eyes at you. “Just because I got you these flowers, and that spa day and gave you Karla doesn’t mean you get to tell what I have or don’t have to do. Got it” he sounds a little stern, but in a way where he’s being thoughtful more than trying to be a jerk.

“Yes, Mr. Min” the meekness in your voice surprises you. As you stand in front of him you cannot understand what brings on this sudden submissive attitude. But you have already agreed and something tells you Mr. Min won’t take no for an answer.

“I’ll be right there” he motions to the door with his head, indicating that you should pack up.

“Okay” you pick up the bouquet and quietly walk out of his office.

The walk back to your desk is filled with mixed emotions. A fluttery feeling floats in your stomach, giving you the perception that your head is spinning. You almost stumble as you reach your desk. You realize you’re breathless as you grip onto the edges of the desk to steady yourself. “Shit. So much for keeping it professional” you mutter while you grab your bag. You sling it over your shoulder. You gather the flowers in your hand as you wait for Yoongi.

Moments later he’s coming out. “Ready?” he asks.

With a dry mouth and dizzying intoxication brought upon his presence all you do is nod.

“After you.” he says.

Maybe he isn’t an asshole after all.

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The sounds of crickets chirping in the silence of the night help shroud some of your thoughts. But not enough apparently because merely Yoongi’s presence is enough to send you in a tizzy. It’s maybe only been about five seconds since Yoongi stopped in front of your house but it sure feels like hours.

“Umm” you’re the first to break the silence. “Well, thank you for the ride an-and for these flowers”

“You’re welcome” comes his quiet voice.

You unlock the door, one foot already out of the door.

“Wait” his hand on your forearm stops you.

You turn to look at him. “Yeah?”

“I actually brought you these flowers because I was going to ask you on a date” he confesses.

“Oh” is all you can manage. You don’t know what else to say.

“So, will you…?” he sounds unsure as he says these words, almost like he himself doesn’t know.

He sounds sincere enough. But as it stands you have two choices: give in easily at which point you may as well give up any hope in future of asking him for anything. Or you could just play hard to get so he knows it won’t be easy.

“I’ll think about” confidence flows through your voice, and along with a coy smirk on your lips.

Yoongi’s previously solemn expression is replaced by a crooked smile. He studies you quietly, making you wonder what he’s thinking. “I’ll give you five minutes”

“No. If that’s how long you think it takes to figure out whether I want to give you a chance, then my answer is no”.

“Fine. How long do you want?”

“It’s not about long I want Mr. Min. It’s about how long you are willing to wait” and without hearing his response you exit the car.

All Yoongi can do is stare at you open-mouthed-- stunned and in utter disbelief.

You didn’t know Yoongi would wait for two whole months. You didn’t expect him to keep it professional between you either

You also didn’t expect Min Yoongi to come to your desk at 2 pm and ask you to look over the designs for one of your clients.

“You look lovely today y/n” he stops next to your desk, holding out a file for you.

“I always look lovely” you take the file from him, dismissing his compliment because you’re sure he’s just buttering you up into doing something for him. Not that you wouldn’t if he hadn’t said anything.

“I mean it” his voice softens as he recognizes your disbelief. “Blue looks good on you’” he motions to your blue blouse, and looks you straight in the eyes. He doesn’t even flinch-- which means he actually probably means it.

You certainly don’t regret picking it out anymore. “Thank you”

“You’re very welcome.” he adds with a smile that stretches into a grin. “Oh and can you look this over. Please and thank you”

“I will” you nod. “Question for you”

“Anything” he half sits on your desk as he awaits your ask.

“Did you come here to give me the file or to tell me I look good?”

“I came here to tell you, you look beautiful if what you’re after is my motive” the corners of his mouth turn up in a soft flirty smile.

“I am. But I’ll also look at this” you gesture to the file in your hand.

He acknowledges your response with a nod as he turns around and starts towards his office.

“Mr. Min” you call out and he turns around. “That suit looks great on you”

It takes him a second to comprehend your words, but as soon as he does, he’s back to smiling. “Thank you y/n”

Just as easily he struts away, just as easily everyone around you is stunned into silence. It looks like a comic scene as everyone looks at Yoongi’s retreating figure with mouth’s agape.

“Did he flirt with you?” one of your coworker’s peers over the divide between your cubicles.

You look up at him. “Yes he did”

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At 4 pm, you walk back to his office with your notes on the changes that should be made. You knock on the door once. He doesn’t answer so you take it as your cue to enter.

“Here are the notes” you hold out the file as you stop just in front of his desk.

“It’s already done?” Yoongi is forced to look up his work.

“Yes and yes”

“Okay. You can leave it on the desk” he goes back to his work.

You wait for him to catch on. But he doesn’t. So you start towards the door.

“Wait” he calls out. “Yes and Yes?”

You turn around, feeling giddy with anticipation.

“What’s the second yes for?” he looks at you puzzled.

“I guess you don’t want to go on that date anymore” you quirk a brow.

He closes his laptop and leans back in his chair. “Took you long enough”

“You reap what you sow Mr. Min”

“Is that right?” it’s rhetorical of course but you nod anyway.

He chuckles. “Let’s go “ he grabs his coat from the back of the chair and swings it around and on his shoulders.

You look at him puzzled. “Right now? What about work?”

“First, I am the boss so I make the rules and I say we go. Second, I made the mistake of offering you five minutes of time to make your decision. You really think I am going to give you a day or two for this date”

You can’t help but laugh. “In that case Mr. Min, let’s go”

He heads to the door first as you follow “After you” he opens it and you’re almost out of the door when he shuts the door. “Wait. I have to do something” he pulls you to himself, supporting you by the waist as he presses his lips to yours.

Maybe time stops when his lips meet yours. But the flutter in your stomach only intensifies. You feel weak in the knees. You hold onto the nape of Yoongi’s neck as your legs begin to tingle. Yoongi’s hands rest on your sides, and gently make their way up to cup your cheeks. You moan into his mouth, as his tongue dances against your lips.

Yoongi keeps his eyes slightly open as he pulls back for air. He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming so he held onto you tighter, causing you to become aware of the contour of his body flush against yours. “I am sorry if I took you by surprise” he’s slightly breathless and flushed. “I wasn’t sure how the date would go and if I would get the chance to do this. If you don’t want to go anymore” he stops to lick his lips. “I would understand” he finishes.

“So you’re not an asshole after all” you look at him through the curtain of your eyelashes.

He raises a brow at you silently telling you to consider your wording as if you're treading on thin ice. “I am still your boss”

You shrug. “You lost the upper hand when you asked me out”

“I knew I liked you for a reason” he says while he takes a tiny step back to give you space and time to collect yourself.

“I think I might fall” your breathless voice takes you by surprise.

“You already have” he curls his fingers around yours.

Hand in hand you walk out of his office, causing ruckus in your wake as your coworkers gawk in disbelief at your departing figures. Because how could Mr.Min be acting like this? More importantly, how could Mr. Min be smiling like an absolute idiot.

I hope you enjoyed it :) Don’t forget to like and reblog! Thank you for reading.

[snowboiwinwin]

Hello! If it's okay, can I ask for a "Day6 as boyfriends" post?? Thank you and take care 😘😘

Thank you very much for requesting! Hope you’re well and enjoy this little something I came up with 😘🥰

--------------------------------------------

Sungjin:

I honestly love this guy

he isn’t one to seek attention or one to speak up

but i feel like he truly cares and loves with his whole heart

he may seem a little cold on the outside but he is such a sweetheart

so please do not expect him to be huge into PDA

he might have an arm around your waist if you’re in crowded places but other than that? nothing

around the boys he is also distanced

his reputation as leader could be at risk

but when the boys tease him of how cold he acts, he sulks and defends himself but then smooches your face

just to prove a point, not because he is absolutely in love with you, lol

dates with him are always super laid back

a nice dinner at home, movies and snacks

not much but exactly how you like it

Sungjin might be distanced by day but by night he NEEDS your affection and touch

please hold him while sleeping, play with his hair and just love him

i also get the vibes from him that he is quite insecure

he might seem confident but he needs quite a lot of reassurance

just please love him and make him feel like the king he is

“Did you know, that you are the man of my dreams? Like seriously, there is no one else that has ever made me feel this way. I love you handsome, I truly do.”

*blushes hardcore and slightly slaps you shoulder* Ahhhh stop it! You make me feel all mushy and soft.... but I love you too and I’m a very lucky man to be able to call you mine.”

“Look at you, being a bluhsing mess... declaring your love for me. Cute.”

“I’m not cute, I am sexy. Now please shut up and focus on the movie.”

Jae:

dude, Jae literally screams boyfriend material

he would be an amazing byofriend

not too lovey dovey and he will roast your ass whenever there is an opportunity to do so

while Sungjin will give you cute nicknames like “love” and “babe”, Jae will just call you “dude”, “bro”, or “buddy”

but to be honest? that’s why a relationship with him would be so chill and refreshing, it’s different - in a good way

Jae is a sleepy boyfriend, so PDA is a regular occurence

he always holds you somehow

either your hands, or his body flung over yours

he is not too much into public kisses though

maybe he will kiss your cheek or your hand but that’s it

dates with him will be so fun as well

you guys will usually just play video games together

and even if you are not that much into gaming, you will be when you’re with Jae

sometimes, when you’re too tired, he will play and have you in his lap

nothing is more relaxing than leaning against him while he talks in his calm, deep and soothing voice

although he is a fun guy, he is super loving

he will brush your hair for you, tell you he loves you 90 times a day and he will constantly remind you of how beautiful you are

i feel like Jae also struggles with his confidence from time to time, so he knows how important reassurance is! 

please make sure to remind him that you love him and that he is more than just enough!

“Dude, don’t look at yourself like that! You look like an absolute goddess! And I’m not just saying this because I’m whipped for you but because you truly are a blessing to my eyes. If someone dares to say otherwise, they obviously have never seen your sexy ass and need to get their eyes fixed. Sheesh, I really got lucky.”

“Oh Jae, I love you.”

“I love you too, sexy beast.”

“Please... you’re ruining the mood.”

Young K:

oh please, he is an awkward baby

super loving and so head over heels in love with you

but SO awkward

he is always a bit torn between being the lovey dovey boyfriend and being a badass guy

the boys tease him constantly, even worse than Sungjin

so sometimes you will get showered with kisses and physical touch

other times he will treat you like one of his brothers

which is fine by you, as long as you get to spend time with Brian

btw, you also tend to call him Brian, which he loves

it makes him feel like a kid in love

i mean he is in love and sometimes a kid - but you know what I mean

PDA is as I said, something he isn’t always too fond of but sometimes he loves it and will show everyone that you’re his

weirdly enough, Young K is obssessed with your butt

when you guys are cuddling

he tends to lay his head on your butt and just relax there

butt massages are also a thing

he loves you, a lot

no doubt

dates with him are always a surprise

one day you guys will just chill, maybe write songs in the studio

and on other days you will do something more active 

like hiking, going to the arcade or just simply taking walks in nearby parks

he is a pretty confident guy and rarely gets jealous

so he does expect you to be the same

he wants you to feel confident cause he only loves you

there’s no doubt he would ever want anyone else

so when you get jealous, he will take it very personal

he loves you so much and you think he might be interessted in someone else?

“Babe, listen. I find this accusation very offensive. I love you so much, you are the only woman for me. Why would I be looking for someone else, when I have you? Aka everything I will ever need? Don’t let other peoples stares make you feel insecure. The only thing that matters is us.”

“I’m sorry Brian. It’s just... you could have anyone. Yet you chose me.”

“Because all I want is YOU. There’s no one else, you are my person! I love you.”

Wonpil:

omg he is literally the cutest

but probably also quite savage

idk i just find him extremely funny

i think he is more on the shy side

he isn’t too overly affectionate 

so please do not expect him to show any type of PDA

not in public and not with the boys

you will get treated like another member

this might be hard sometimes

especially if you are super affectionate (like me)

but he will make sure to make you feel loved to cease all your doubts

actions speak louder than words

definitely something he lives by, no doubt

he will spoil you with nice and romantic dates

omg for dates he will go all out

he will cook, decorate the house with rose petals, light candles

the whole shabang 

another thing i believe to be true is that he will treat you in a super gentle and respectful way (all the boys will, but just saying)

i think Wonpil is the type of boyfriend that will constantly ask for permission, no matter what he does and no matter how long you’ve been dating

he is way too scared to do something you will not be comfortable or okay with, so he will always make sure you are absolutely fine with everything he does

“baby? can I kiss you?”

“Wonpil, we’ve been dating for how long? 2 years? Yes, you can absolutely kiss me, no need to ask!”

“but what if you don’t want me to kiss you? and i just put my lips onto yours? I don’t want to force you.”

“Dude, as long as I am dating you, i want to kiss you 24/7! even when i’m mad, i will always crave your kisses.”

“Don’t dude me! You’re spending too much time with Jae... now please let me kiss you. Thank you.”

ugh I just love this guy

he is so cute and beautiful

and his vocals... imagine him singing you to sleep

i gotta go cry my eyes out now, cause I will never find myself a Wonpil 😭

Dowoon:

last but not least, our maknae!

he is literally so sweet and HILARIOUS

the vlog where the attempts to talk in English?

duuuude I died

so I feel like, althouhg he tends to be an awkward bean too, he will constantly make you laugh

he will make a fool of himself, diss the others, talk in English...

anything to make his baby happy!

he will also shower you with aegyo

i just feel it haha

PDA is also a no no for him, he rather saves all the love and affection for when you’re both at home

with affection i mean cuddles 24/7 in bed, kisses (even with morning breath cause nothing stops Dowoon’s love for you) and loads of head massages

ugh he is a sucker for head scratches

i can slo see him trying to teach you how to play the drums

he will even take days off, just to be able to teach you

let me tell you, he ADORES you

please do not play him

you mean the world to him and he appreciates you sticking with him throughout his crazy and hectic life

there will be moments where he just stares at you with literal heart eyes

he finds it hard to believe that he got this lucky

and please, do not ever try to make him jealous...

he will be the poutiest baby EVER

*pouts and waits for you to ask him what’s wrong*

*but you ignore him, so he starts making weird sounds*

“what? you big baby.”

“I’m hurt by you.”

“I’m so sorry that I breathe the same air as Jackson Wang. I will suffocate the next time he is close to me.”

“THANK YOU! it would be very much appreciated.” 

[praphit]

F9: What does Absurdity even mean anymore?

Due to COVID, I thought that my last movie theater experience was going to be "Bad Boys For Life". I'm happy to say that if I died today, I would be telling souls in Heaven that "F9" was the last movie I saw on the big screen (I'm sure that films are big talking points in the after life).

There weren't too many people there:

There was a woman coughing in the corner; I barely looked at her. I imagined that COVID was mugging her, and I didn't want to be a witness, and so have COVID come after me next. I'm vaxxed, but still I was thinking of ways to distract COVID, so I could enjoy the film. There was an old couple sitting up front (like REALLY OLD... sitting UP FRONT... Ha! that's awesome). Awesome or not, I was going to point them out if COVID came after me. There were two obese kids sitting a few rows behind me that I could also point out, as well as my friend that I was sitting next to... what?? Look, they would ALL want me to escape, so I could bring my "F9" review to the people!

WHAT??!

Let's not talk about my survival skills, let's talk some Vin & the Fam - that's why we're here!

It took a while for me to remember what was going on:

Dom (Vin), Letty (M. Rod), and their... kid? Oh, right, they have a kid, and they moved on to start a new life together. 

Didn't the real mom die or something?? Idk. You've got the British lady from "GOT" still hanging out with Luda and Tyrese. 

(they so crazy)

"Hobbs and Shaw" are still gone 

(making their own money, cuz bleep family!). 

Brian (Paul Walker's character - rip) is apparently, now everyone's babysitter. So, if anyone in this gang, who could die on any of these missions, ever have kids, they can just send them off to Nanny Brian's. 

There's a dude named Mr. Nobody who sometimes sends the gang on secret spy missions.

Oh, and people in the gang keep coming back from the dead. Boom! We're caught up with this absurdity. That's actually what I asked for when I got to the movies 

"Give me one ticket for Absurdity please."

In this batch of the absurd, we find out that Dom has a brother, and he's John Cena (Jakob). 

Charlize Theron is back! That must have been the worst bet that she has ever lost. I consider her to be one of the most underrated and underappreciated actors we've got, but movies like these ain't helping that case.

And who's idea was it to give her that haircut? - part of the bet she lost, I suppose. 

It was reported that the gang goes into space (at least two of them do). 

Annnnd the X-Men Jet is back! 

(it really does look like that - Wolverine included)

Seriously, after the X-Men's last two movies (which were turrrible), I was expecting them to crossover for a fresh start. Why not?? They're a spy team now, that goes to space! - nothing should be off the table.

They're looking for two halves of some... war sphere?? If put back together with some key... idk... John Cena rules the world.

Remember when Vin and the gang were all about street racing, money, survival, and brown booty? - those were simpler times!

But, why discuss the plot? Seriously, why? None of it makes any sense. From Dom and Letty living like Amish people (which is an ending worse than death for action heroes) 

to their convoluted explanation for bringing the latest person back from the dead (which reminds me of a married couple, when the husband or wife get caught watching porn, and try to explain that it was just a pop-up that came out of nowhere. The other spouse gulps their glass of wine and plows forward - that was me with this - gulping my soda (with a lil Henny) saying "whatever guys, let's please just move on".

and  what's going on with the two brother's is a thin thread at best. AND the villain's motivation...  

But, it's foolish to get into that., and take points off. I LOVE THESE MOVIES, but it ain't for the story. Let's grade "F9" by its own standards:

Racing, Action, and Family (they graduated from booty to family):

Racing

They've done the racing in a small city thing before, but this time it's with magnets! - SUPER MAGNETS!

YES!

I loved this! Cars are getting sucked into magnets. They're using them to make people fly away and explode. Which btw, they did my man Francis Ngannou wrong (an mma fighter). There's a fight scene with a giant white dude on top of a speeding vehicle. That giant white dude could have and should have been the role for Francis, instead he's just here to say high, and then blow up. As much as I loved these scenes, they were too quick in some areas. I think if they had slowed some of the magnet stuff down a bit, we could appreciate more what's happening.

Action

M.Rod is legit. 

She needs her own franchise. The only action star I enjoyed more than her was Vin, and that's really due to the absurdity of one scene. Do y'all remember the "Civil War" scene when Captain America has one hand on a building and another pulling back a helicopter?? 

It's the same level of strength needed for what Vin does in some underground chambers. You can see a bit of it in the trailer. He pulls the whole place down, and then, just like in "Civil War", he ends up in the water (but unconscious). Oh, and he does this after beating up like 50 people at once. Ha! I love it! Then, how he is rescued (cuz c'mon, he can't die) is splendidly preposterous, and I mean that is a complimentary way. That scene is perfection.

The only action that bothers me comes from Dom's sister (mia). 

She just doesn't sell being a fighter, but whatever. No disrespect... she’s beautiful, but... her hair might weigh more than the rest of her body.

Apparently, the highest trained fighters (agents) in the world (who have GUNS) never trained for a unskilled, unprepared, 110 lb woman in her 40's with a frying pan.

Family & Corona

Tyrese and Luda are always funny, but their act is growing a bit thin. It actually felt like an act this time around. I think it's time to add another black man in the mix; perhaps one who's older than they are... TRACY MORGAN?

Throw an OG in there and it'll freshen things up again. I do like though how Tyrese is starting to suspect that they might be immortals. I think they should test that theory out in the next movie; maybe have Tyrese break the fourth wall, kinda like Deadpool, as he realizes this is just a dumbass movie.

Dom and Letty's kid... terrible. I'm sorry! This is a bias of mine, but kids normally suck at acting. This one is no exception. Just get an older actor to play the young kid. I'm thinking Ryan Reynolds would have been a good choice.

You may be saying "that's absurd!" - I'm glad that y'all can still tell what that word means, cuz I can't.

The rest of the chemistry family magic is great!

Oh, and Cardi is here, but... barely (for like 30 seconds, if that). 

No rapping, no wapping, no cursing... kind of a waste of Cardi B, if you ask me.

John Cena aka Jakob with a K!

Meh. JC def has charisma, just not in this movie. He doesn't stand out at all. You know?? - The Rock, Jason Statham, Charlize Theron, etc all have a presence about them in this franchise. Cena?! what happened, buddy?

There are certain music artists whom you'd think would have a great personality based off their music and how they dress. But, then you meet them, and you realize that they're just normal bozos like you and I (only rich and famous). And normal bozos like you and I, AT TIMES can be boring. You gotta have some flair if you're not going to have personality. Give my man some pink glittery highlights, a face tat, some vampire teeth, and maybe a chainsaw for his left arm or something.

Grade: Good action. The absurdities were funny. I was entertained! Production was great! BUT it's getting tired, my friends. It's the same formula that I've mentioned and then, like always, they're grilling and drinking Corona's in the sun. After nine movies (with at least two more on the way)... I never thought I'd say this, but it's actually not absurd enough. Wait... I seriously can't believe I just said that.

I need to say that again to know it's real.

This movie wasn't absurd.. enough? ENOUGH. IT WASN'T! They're going to need to step it up for the next two.

They were in space, but not for long. They raced for the most part in regular cars (regular for them). . You only brought ONE person back from the dead??! C'mon! We can do better.

I'm giving it an entertaining C+

I like that we saw different younger Dom's (during flashbacks) through time. I think that the next type of vehicle they bust out should be a DeLorean.

Y'all feel me?? TIME TRAVEL, baby! 

Vin and the gang race through time! They can have Tracy Morgan. They'll each have a younger version (or older) of themselves join the group. Cardi B will actually do something this time - maybe turn into a car! 

And maybe Cable shows up as they tie it to Marvel.

Think bigger, Vin!

[jj-lynn21]

SUMMER BURN: starring Bill Skarsgard as Brian ch.1

I got this idea from a game going around in which you pair the last picture you saved and last song you listened to. Mine was Bill as Clark in those short shorts with Taylor Swift's You Belong with Me being the song.  

Warnings: Not much for the the first chapter other than if mean bitchy girl is a trigger for you. There will be smut and killing later. Mutilated bodies possible. Let’s see where this goes. Original character. One played by Bill Skarsgard.  

Tagging: @bskarsgardlove92

read ch 2 click here

College was done for the semester. I had no reason to start up for the summer term because I was ready for some good times with friends. The fun, the sun and skin that most seemed to enjoy showing in the summertime. My body might not be perfect from how I see it, but I put on a new bathing suit for the first beach day with friends.  

It was unusually warm for May when they picked me up in the loud pink safari jeep Jess, got as her high school graduation gift. It was a bit flashy but so was she with a romper that matched the jeep over her bathing suit. She was an instigator. A rebel. The group leader if the group really acknowledged that. It was her idea to go to the beach that day. It was even her that started the beautiful nightmare that was summer.

Melissa and Tami were my other besties. They were game for whatever Jess suggested. I guess I was also, most of the time. We were settled in on that beach sunbathing and chat when he walked by on his cellphone. His thick and wild hair on the longer side. He was the only one that was still sporting a beard. He looked like the guy from the Bee Gees my mother had a crush on when she was my age. But what really got my heart fluttering was his legs. Damn his short white tight shorts did not leave much to the imagination.  His legs long and lean with powerful thighs. I was practically salivating along with most of the others on the beach that day.  

“You belong with me.” I whispered.  

Jess smirked as she took her eyes off the handsome stranger looking my way instead. “You want that? I can get it for you.”

“What?” Your cheeks burned with embarrassment.  

“If you cannot just walk over there to talk to him, I can.” She got up.

“He is on the phone.” You shook your head in protest. “It would be rude to interrupt...”

“Well, he just got off the phone.” She rubbed her hands together to get the sand off. “I am not spending another summer of you pining over someone right in front of you.”

“No, you shouldn’t bother...” It was too late for you to stop her.  

Tami and Melissa giggle. “You know there is no stopping her when she gets an idea in her head.” Tami reminded you.

“Besides you could use somebody this summer since the rest of us all have dates.” Mellissa reminded you.  

You did not need a reminder you were the only single in the group. It had been that way for two years. You would go with them for group outing and sometimes one of their dates would bring a relative that was in town to occupy you, but mostly you really did not like the set ups. If you did, they always left after their visit with no contact after.  

“What’s up butter.” Jess said as she stood in front of the stranger stopping him from walking away. “I’m Jess.”

He smirked. “What’s up with you?”

“Well, you see.” She started her spiel. “My friend over there hiding her face with her hands wants to, let’s say get to know you. I told her it was a done deal unless you are some asshole that walks around in white short shorts thinking he is too good for her. So, are you?”

“Am I what?” He held back a chuckle at the brash girl. “Am I an asshole? I can tell you I try not to be.”

“Good so you will come meet her?” Jess grabs the stranger's hand to pull him over to you and your other friends.  

He stopped her in her tracks with one rough tug. Jess glared at him. “What the fuck, dude?”

“I can’t join you right know.” He glanced at his buzzing cellphone. “I’ll catch you later.’  

“What are you a drug dealer? Hired killer?” She yelled after him joking.

“Something like that.” He grinned winking towards me. I could have died on the spot.

“Can we get your name short shorts?” She called after him.  

“Brian.” His deep voice echoed in your mind as he left the scene.

Jess skipped back over to you and the others. “His name is Brian. He could be a serial killer but do not let that stop you sis.” She laughed. “I bet he will be at the bonfire tonight so of course we are going.”

“Of course, we are.” Melissa and Tami sang in unison.

“You would set me up with a possible killer?” I asked in all seriousness.  

“You are desperate, and you like the way he looks.” Jess laughed. “I was joking. He is probably just a sale person. You can find that out for yourself later tonight.”

I through daggers at her with my eyes silently scolding her. It was early in our beach day, and I had already had enough of her ways. I swaer she could easily drive a person crazy enough to kill her without even knowing it.

“What?” She laughed uncomfortable. “I think we need to cool off in the water girls.”

“I need something to drink.” You started walking toward the beach bar in the distance. “I’ll be out after.”

“Suit yourself.” Jess and the other girls took their cover-ups off and ran towards the crashing waves.

I made my way trudging through sand in flip flops to the bar. The bar tender was so annoying as he flirted with another customer as I tried to get his attention for a drink. “You want me to take care of him for you?” A deep smooth voice offered in your ear. You did not recognize him at first. His beard and most the puffy wild hair were gone. But you couldn’t help but recognizing those legs in the short shorts and the tight striped shirt that hugged his broad chest as you looked him over.

“Sorry about Jess.” You figured if she wasn’t going to apologize you might as well. “I could just kill her.”

“Strangle to death in her sleep.” He added.

You both laughed uncomfortable. Brian snapped his fingers between the bar tender and his mark. “Two mimosas over here before you end up dying horrible tonight.”

The bar tender jumped to attention to get the drinks. His eyes were wide like he took Brian seriously.  

“That made him jump to it.” I smiled. “I guess threatening him worked.”

“Most of the time it does with anyone.” Brian smiled back. “Don’t you think?”

“I do.” I said coyly playing with a little piece of hair. “How come the fake hair and beard when we first saw you? Are you hiding from someone? How did you even remove it all so quick?”

“Whoa there little Miss interrogator.” He put his hand palm up between the two of you as the bar tender served the drinks. “Can I get your name before you accuse me of anything? My name is Brian. I enjoy my job even though I need to pretend to be other people sometimes to get done what my clients need done. My wig and beard are in my bag.” He pointed to the duffle bag laying on the sand at his feet.

“Sorry.” I looked down biting your bottom lip.

He stuck two fingers under my chin to lift my eyes to his gaze. His green eyes were bright and forgiving. “You don’t need to be sorry. You have every right to be curious, but I have every right not to tell you everything. Things can get dangerous when you get to know people too quickly. You understand sweetheart?”

I  shiver. That feeling of want warming in my core as I attempt to just nod yes. He held my chin in place with great strength but care in his stare. “Use your words that you understand me.”

“Yes, I understand.” I reply dreamily. No one had ever told you not to say, sorry. Or held your gaze so long. It was chilling and exciting. Goosebumps started covering your body.  

He let go of your chin before finishing his drink. “I have a few people to take care of this evening. I will see you at the bonfire when I am finished. Would you like that?”

“Yes.” You muttered.

Brian smiled as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. “Finish your drink slowly. Your friends are about to join you.” He pulled away walking off towards the docks as your friends came up behind you.  

[grigori77]

2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 2)

20.  ONWARD – Disney and Pixar’s best digitally animated family feature of 2020 (beating the admittedly impressive Soul to the punch) clearly has a love of fantasy roleplay games like Dungeons & Dragons, its quirky modern-day AU take populated by fantastical races and creatures seemingly tailor-made for the geek crowd … needless to say, me and many of my friends absolutely loved it.  That doesn’t mean that the classic Disney ideals of love, family and believing in yourself have been side-lined in favour of fan-service – this is as heartfelt, affecting and tearful as their previous standouts, albeit with plenty of literal magic added to the metaphorical kind.  The central premise is a clever one – once upon a time, magic was commonplace, but over the years technology came along to make life easier, so that in the present day the various races (elves, centaurs, fauns, pixies, goblins and trolls among others) get along fine without it. Then timid elf Ian Lightfoot (Tom Holland) receives a wizard’s staff for his sixteenth birthday, a bequeathed gift from his father, who died before he was born, with instructions for a spell that could bring him back to life for one whole day.  Encouraged by his brash, over-confident wannabe adventurer elder brother Barley (Chris Pratt), Ian tries it out, only for the spell to backfire, leaving them with the animated bottom half of their father and just 24 hours to find a means to restore the rest of him before time runs out.  Cue an “epic quest” … needless to say, this is another top-notch offering from the original masters of the craft, a fun, affecting and thoroughly infectious family-friendly romp with a winning sense of humour and inspired, flawless world-building.  Holland and Pratt are both fantastic, their instantly believable, ill-at-ease little/big brother chemistry effortlessly driving the story through its ingenious paces, and the ensuing emotional fireworks are hilarious and heart-breaking in equal measure, while there’s typically excellent support from Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine from Seinfeld) as Ian and Barley’s put-upon but supportive mum, Laurel, Octavia Spencer as once-mighty adventurer-turned-restaurateur “Corey” the Manticore and Mel Rodriguez (Getting On, The Last Man On Earth) as overbearing centaur cop (and Laurel’s new boyfriend) Colt Bronco.  The film marks the sophomore feature gig for Dan Scanlon, who debuted with 2013’s sequel Monsters University, and while that was enjoyable enough I ultimately found it non-essential – no such verdict can be levelled against THIS film, the writer-director delivering magnificently in all categories, while the animation team have outdone themselves in every scene, from the exquisite environments and character/creature designs to some fantastic (and frequently delightfully bonkers) set-pieces, while there’s a veritable riot of brilliant RPG in-jokes to delight geekier viewers (gelatinous cube! XD).  Massive, unadulterated fun, frequently hilarious and absolutely BURSTING with Disney’s trademark heart, this was ALMOST my animated feature of the year.  More on that later …

19.  THE GENTLEMEN – Guy Ritchie’s been having a rough time with his last few movies (The Man From UNCLE didn’t do too bad but it wasn’t exactly a hit and was largely overlooked or simply ignored, while intended franchise-starter King Arthur: Legend of the Sword was largely derided and suffered badly on release, dying a quick death financially – it’s a shame on both counts, because I really liked them), so it’s nice to see him having some proper success with his latest, even if he has basically reverted to type to do it.  Still, when his newest London gangster flick is THIS GOOD it seems churlish to quibble – this really is what he does best, bringing together a collection of colourful geezers and shaking up their status quo, then standing back and letting us enjoy the bloody, expletive-riddled results. This particularly motley crew is another winning selection, led by Matthew McConaughey as ruthlessly successful cannabis baron Mickey Pearson, who’s looking to retire from the game by selling off his massive and highly lucrative enterprise for a most tidy sum (some $400,000,000 to be precise) to up-and-coming fellow American ex-pat Matthew Berger (Succession’s Jeremy Strong, oozing sleazy charm), only for local Chinese triad Dry Eye (Crazy Rich Asians’ Henry Golding, chewing the scenery with enthusiasm) to start throwing spanners into the works with the intention of nabbing the deal for himself for a significant discount.  Needless to say Mickey’s not about to let that happen … McConaughey is ON FIRE here, the best he’s been since Dallas Buyers Club in my opinion, clearly having great fun sinking his teeth into this rich character and Ritchie’s typically sparkling, razor-witted dialogue, and he’s ably supported by a quality ensemble cast, particularly co-star Charlie Hunnam as Mickey’s ice-cold, steel-nerved right-hand-man Raymond Smith, Downton Abbey’s Michelle Dockery as his classy, strong-willed wife Rosalind, Colin Farrell as a wise-cracking, quietly exasperated MMA trainer and small-time hood simply known as the Coach (who gets many of the film’s best lines), and, most notably, Hugh Grant as the film’s nominal narrator, thoroughly morally bankrupt private investigator Fletcher, who consistently steals the film.  This is Guy Ritchie at his very best – a twisty rug-puller of a plot that constantly leaves you guessing, brilliantly observed and richly drawn characters you can’t help loving in spite of the fact there’s not a single hero among them, a deliciously unapologetic, politically incorrect sense of humour and a killer soundtrack.  Getting the cinematic year off to a phenomenal start, it’s EASILY Ritchie’s best film since Sherlock Holmes, and a strong call-back to the heady days of Snatch (STILL my favourite) and Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels.  Here’s hoping he’s on a roll again, eh?

18.  SPONTANEOUS – one of the year’s biggest under-the-radar surprise hits for me was one which I actually might not have caught if things had been a little more normal and ordered.  Thankfully with all the lockdown and cinematic shutdown bollocks going on, this fantastically subversive and deeply satirical indie teen comedy horror came along at the perfect time, and I completely flipped out over it.  Now those who know me know I don’t tend to gravitate towards teen cinema, but like all those other exceptions I’ve loved over the years, this one had a brilliantly compulsive hook I just couldn’t turn down – small-town high-schooler Mara (Knives Out and Netflix’ Cursed’s Katherine Langford) is your typical cool outsider kid, smart, snarky and just putting up with the scene until she can graduate and get as far away as possible … until one day in her senior year one of her classmates just inexplicably explodes. Like her peers, she’s shocked and she mourns, then starts to move on … until it happens again.  As the death toll among the senior class begins to mount, it becomes clear something weird is going on, but Mara has other things on her mind because the crisis has, for her, had an unexpected benefit – without it she wouldn’t have fallen in love with like-minded oddball new kid Dylan (Lean On Pete and Words On Bathroom Walls’ Charlie Plummer). The future’s looking bright, but only if they can both live to see it … this is a wickedly intelligent film, powered by a skilfully executed script and a wonderfully likeable young cast who consistently steer their characters around the potential cliched pitfalls of this kind of cinema, while debuting writer-director Brian Duffield (already a rising star thanks to scripts for Underwater, The Babysitter and blacklist darling Jane Got a Gun among others) show he’s got as much talent and flair for crafting truly inspired cinema as he has for thinking it up in the first place, delivering some impressively offbeat set-pieces and several neat twists you frequently don’t see coming ahead of time.  Langford and Plummer as a sassy, spicy pair who are easy to root for without ever getting cloying or sweet, while there’s glowing support from the likes of Hayley Law (Rioverdale, Altered Carbon, The New Romantic) as Mara’s best friend Tess, Piper Perabo and Transparent’s Rob Huebel as her increasingly concerned parents, and Insecure’s Yvonne Orji as Agent Rosetti, the beleaguered government employee sent to spearhead the investigation into exactly what’s happening to these kids.  Quirky, offbeat and endlessly inventive, this is one of those interesting instances where I’m glad they pushed the horror elements into the background so we could concentrate on the comedy, but more importantly these wonderfully well-realised and vital characters – there are some skilfully executed shocks, but far more deep belly laughs, and there’s bucketloads of heart to eclipse the gore.  Another winning debut from a talent I intend to watch with great interest in the future.

17.  HAMILTON – arriving just as Black Lives Matter reached fever-pitch levels, this feature presentation of the runaway Broadway musical smash-hit could not have been better timed. Shot over three nights during the show’s 2016 run with the original cast and cut together with specially created “setup shots”, it’s an immersive experience that at once puts you right in amongst the audience (at times almost a character themselves, never seen but DEFINITELY heard) but also lets you experience the action up close.  And what action – it’s an incredible show, a thoroughly fascinating piece of work that reads like something very staid and proper on paper (an all-encompassing biographical account of the life and times of American Founding Father Alexander Hamilton) but, in execution, becomes something very different and EXTREMELY vital.  The execution certainly couldn’t be further from the usual period biopic fare this kind of historical subject matter usually gets (although in the face of recent high quality revisionist takes like Marie Antoinette, The Great and Tesla it’s not SO surprising), while the cast is not at all what you’d expect – with very few notable exceptions the cast is almost entirely people of colour, despite the fact that the real life individuals they’re playing were all very white indeed.  Every single one of them is also an absolute revelation – the show’s writer-composer Lin-Manuel Miranda (already riding high on the success of In the Heights) carries the central role of Hamilton with effortless charm and raw star power, Leslie Odom Jr. (Smash, Murder On the Orient Express) is duplicitously complex as his constant nemesis Aaron Burr, Christopher Jackson (In the Heights, Moana, Bull) oozes integrity and nobility as his mentor and friend George Washington, Phillipa Soo is sweet and classy as his wife Eliza while Renée Elise Goldsberry (The Immortal Life of Henrietta Jacks, Altered Carbon) is fiery and statuesque as her sister Angelica Schuyler (the one who got away), and Jonathan Groff (Mindhunter) consistently steals every scene he’s in as fiendish yet childish fan favourite King George III, but the show (and the film) ultimately belongs to veritable powerhouse Daveed Diggs (Blindspotting, The Good Lord Bird) in a spectacular duel role, starting subtly but gaining scene-stealing momentum as French Revolutionary Gilbert du Motier, the Marquis de Lafayette, before EXPLODING onto the stage in the second half as indomitable third American President Thomas Jefferson.  Not having seen the stage show, I was taken completely by surprise by this, revelling in its revisionist genius and offbeat, quirky hip-hop charm, spellbound by the skilful ease with which is takes the sometimes quite dull historical fact and skews it into something consistently entertaining and absorbing, transported by the catchy earworm musical numbers and thoroughly tickled by the delightfully cheeky sense of humour strung throughout (at least when I wasn’t having my heart broken by moments of raw dramatic power). Altogether it’s a pretty unique cinematic experience I wish I could have actually gotten to see on the big screen, and one I’ve consistently recommended to all my friends, even the ones who don’t usually like musicals.  As far as I’m concerned it doesn’t need a proper Les Misérables style screen adaptation – this is about as perfect a presentation as the show could possibly hope for.

16.  SPUTNIK – summer’s horror highlight (despite SERIOUSLY tough competition) was a guaranteed sleeper hit that I almost missed entirely, stumbling across the trailer one day on YouTube and getting bowled over by its potential, prompting me to hunt it down by any means necessary.  The feature debut of Russian director Egor Abramenko, this first contact sci-fi chiller is about as far from E.T. as it’s possible to get, sharing some of the same DNA as Carpenter’s The Thing but proudly carving its own path with consummate skill and definitely signalling great things to come from its brand new helmer and relative unknown screenwriters Oleg Malovichko and Andrei Zolotarev.  Oksana Akinshina (probably best known in the West for her powerful climactic cameo in The Bourne Supremacy) is the beating heart of the film as neurophysiologist Tatyana Yuryevna Klimova, brought in to aid in the investigation in the Russian wilderness circa 1983 after an orbital research mission goes horribly wrong.  One of the cosmonauts dies horribly, while the other, Konstantin (The Duelist’s Pyotr Fyodorov) seems unharmed, but it quickly becomes clear that he’s now the host for something decidedly extraterrestrial and potentially terrifying, and as Tatyana becomes more deeply embroiled in her assignment she comes to realise that her superiors, particularly mysterious Red Army project leader Colonel Semiradov (The PyraMMMid’s Fyodor Bondarchuk), have far more insidious plans for Konstantin and his new “friend” than she could ever imagine. This is about as dark, intense and nightmarish as this particular sub-genre gets, a magnificently icky body horror that slowly builds its tension as we’re gradually exposed to the various truths and the awful gravity of the situation slowly reveals itself, punctuated by skilfully executed shocks and some particularly horrifying moments when the evils inflicted by the humans in charge prove far worse than anything the alien can do, while the ridiculously talented writers have a field day pulling the rug out from under us again and again, never going for the obvious twist and keeping us guessing right to the devastating ending, while the beautifully crafted digital creature effects are nothing short of astonishing and thoroughly creepy.  Akinshina dominates the film with her unbridled grace, vulnerability and integrity, the relationship that develops between Tatyana and Konstantin (Fyodorov delivering a beautifully understated turn belying deep inner turmoil) feeling realistically earned as it goes from tentatively wary to tragically bittersweet, while Bondarchuk invests the Colonel with a nuanced air of tarnished authority and restrained brutality that made him one of my top screen villains for the year.  One of 2020’s great sleeper hits, I can’t speak of this film highly enough – it’s a genuine revelation, an instant classic for whom I’ll sing its praises for years to come, and I wish enormous future success to all the creative talents involved.

15.  THE INVISIBLE MAN – looks like third time’s a charm for Leigh Whannell, writer-director of my ALMOST horror movie of the year (more on that later) – while he’s had immense success as a horror writer over the years (co-creator of both the Saw and Insidious franchises), as a director his first two features haven’t exactly set the world alight, with debut Insidious: Chapter III garnering similar takes to the rest of the series but ultimately turning out to be a bit of a damp squib quality-wise, while his second feature Upgrade was a stone-cold masterpiece that was (rightly) EXTREMELY well received critically, but ultimately snuck in under the radar and has remained a stubbornly hidden gem since. No such problems with his third feature, though – his latest collaboration with producer Jason Blum and the insanely lucrative Blumhouse Pictures has proven a massive hit both financially AND with reviewers, and deservedly so.  Having given up on trying to create a shared cinematic universe inhabited by their classic monsters, Universal resolved to concentrate on standalones to showcase their elite properties, and their first try is a rousing success, Whannell bringing HG Wells’ dark and devious human monster smack into the 21st Century as only he can.  The result is a surprisingly subtle piece of work, much more a lethally precise exercise in cinematic sleight of hand and extraordinary acting than flashy visual effects, strictly adhering to the Blumhouse credo of maximum returns for minimum bucks as the story is stripped down to its bare essentials and allowed to play out without any unnecessary weight.  The Handmaid’s Tale’s Elizabeth Moss once again confirms what a masterful actress she is as she brings all her performing weapons to bear in the role of Cecelia “Cee” Kass, the cloistered wife of affluent but monstrously abusive optics pioneer Aidan Griffin (Netflix’ The Haunting of Hill House’s Oliver Jackson-Cohen), who escapes his clutches in the furiously tense opening sequence and goes to ground with the help of her closest childhood friend, San Francisco cop James Lanier (Leverage’s Aldis Hodge) and his teenage daughter Sydney (A Wrinkle in Time’s Storm Reid).  Two weeks later, Aidan commits suicide, leaving Cee with a fortune to start her life over (with the proviso that she’s never ruled mentally incompetent), but as she tries to find her way in the world again little things start going wrong for her, and she begins to question if there might be something insidious going on.  As her nerves start to unravel, she begins to suspect that Aidan is still alive, still very much in her life, fiendishly toying with her and her friends, but no-one can see him.  Whannell plays her paranoia up for all it’s worth, skilfully teasing out the scares so that, just like her friends, we begin to wonder if it might all be in her head after all, before a spectacular mid-movie reveal throws the switch into high gear and the true threat becomes clear.  The lion’s share of the film’s immense success must of course go to Moss – her performance is BEYOND a revelation, a blistering career best that totally powers the whole enterprise, and it goes without saying that she’s the best thing in this.  Even so, she has sterling support from Hodge and Reid, as well as Love Child’s Harriet Dyer as Cee’s estranged big sister Emily and Wonderland’s Michael Dorman as Adrian’s slimy, spineless lawyer brother Tom, and, while he doesn’t have much actual (ahem) “screen time”, Jackson-Cohen delivers a fantastically icy, subtly malevolent turn which casts a large “shadow” over the film.  This is one of my very favourite Blumhouse films, a pitch-perfect psychological chiller that keeps the tension cranked up unbearably tight and never lets go, Whannell once again displaying uncanny skill with expert jump-scares, knuckle-whitening chills and a truly astounding standout set-piece that easily goes down as one of the top action sequences of 2020. Undoubtedly the best version of Wells’ story to date, this goes a long way in repairing the damage of Universal’s abortive “Dark Universe” efforts, as well as showcasing a filmmaking master at the very height of his talents.

14.  EXTRACTION – the Coronavirus certainly has threw a massive spanner in the works of the year’s cinematic calendar – among many other casualties to the blockbuster shunt, the latest (and most long-awaited) MCU movie, Black Widow, should have opened to further record-breaking box office success at the end of spring, but instead the theatres were all closed and virtually all the heavyweights were pushed back or shelved indefinitely.  Thank God, then, for the streaming services, particularly Hulu, Amazon and Netflix, the latter of which provided a perfect movie for us to see through the key transition into the summer blockbuster season, an explosively flashy big budget action thriller ushered in by MCU alumni the Russo Brothers (who produced and co-wrote this adaptation of Ciudad, a graphic novel that Joe Russo co-created with Ande Parks and Fernando Leon Gonzalez) and barely able to contain the sheer star-power wattage of its lead, Thor himself.  Chris Hemsworth plays Tyler Rake, a former Australian SAS operative who hires out his services to an extraction operation under the command of mercenary Nik Khan (The Patience Stone’s Golshifteh Farahani), brought in to liberate Ovi Mahajan (Rudhraksh Jaiswal in his first major role), the pre-teen son of incarcerated Indian crime lord Ovi Sr. (Pankaj Tripathi), who has been abducted by Bangladeshi rival Amir Asif (Priyanshu Painyuli).  The rescue itself goes perfectly, but when the time comes for the hand-off the team is double-crossed and Tyler is left stranded in the middle of Dhaka with no choice but to keep Ovi alive as every corrupt cop and street gang in the city closes in around them.  This is the feature debut of Sam Hargrave, the latest stuntman to try his hand at directing, so he certainly knows his way around an action set-piece, and the result is a thoroughly breathless adrenaline rush of a film, bursting at the seams with spectacular fights, gun battles and car chases, dominated by a stunning sustained sequence that plays out in one long shot, guaranteed to leave jaws lying on the floor.  Not that there should be any surprise – Hargrave cut his teeth as a stunt coordinator for the Russos on Captain America: Civil War and their Avengers films.  That said, he displays strong talent for the quieter disciplines of filmmaking too, delivering quality character development and drawing out consistently noteworthy performances from his cast.  Of course, Hemsworth can do the action stuff in his sleep, but there’s a lot more to Tyler than just his muscle, the MCU veteran investing him with real wounded vulnerability and a tragic fatalism which colours every scene, while Jaiswal is exceptional throughout, showing plenty of promise for the future, and there’s strong support from Farahani and Painyuli, as well as Stranger Things’ David Harbour as world-weary retired merc Gaspard, and a particularly impressive, muscular turn from Randeep Hooda (Once Upon a Time in Mumbai) as Saju, a former Para and Ovi’s bodyguard, who’s determined to take possession of the boy himself, even if he has to go through Tyler to get him.  This is action cinema that really deserves to be seen on the big screen – I watched it twice in a week and would happily have paid for two trips to the cinema for it if I could have.  As we looked down the barrel of a summer season largely devoid of blockbuster fare, I couldn’t recommend this enough.  Thank the gods for Netflix …

13.  THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 – although it’s definitely a film that really benefitted enormously from releasing on Netflix during the various lockdowns, this was one of the blessed few I actually got to see during one of the UK’s frustratingly rare lulls when cinemas were actually OPEN.  Rather perversely it therefore became one of my favourite cinematic experiences of 2020, but then I’m just as much a fan of well-made cerebral films as I am of the big, immersive blockbuster EXPERIENCES, so this probably still would have been a standout in a normal year. Certainly if this was a purely CRITICAL list for the year this probably would have placed high in the Top Ten … Aaron Sorkin is a writer whose work I have ardently admired ever since he went from esteemed playwright to in-demand talent for both the big screen AND the small with A Few Good Men, and TTOTC7 is just another in a long line of consistently impressive, flawlessly written works rife with addictive quickfire dialogue, beautifully observed characters and rewardingly propulsive narrative storytelling (therefore resting comfortably amongst the well-respected likes of The West Wing, Charlie Wilson’s War, Moneyball and The Social Network).  It also marks his second feature as a director (after fascinating and incendiary debut Molly’s Game), and once again he’s gone for true story over fiction, tackling the still controversial subject of the infamous 1968 trial of the “ringleaders” of the infamous riots which marred Chicago’s Diplomatic National Convention five months earlier, in which thousands of hippies and college students protesting the Vietnam War clashed with police.  Spurred on by the newly-instated Presidential Administration of Richard Nixon to make some examples, hungry up-and-coming prosecutor Richard Schultz (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is confident in his case, while the Seven – who include respected and astute student activist Tom Hayden (Eddie Redmayne) and confrontational counterculture firebrands Abbie Hoffman (Sacha Baron Cohen) and Jerry Rubin (Succession’s Jeremy Strong) – are the clear underdogs.  They’re a divided bunch (particularly Hayden and Hoffman, who never mince their words about what little regard they hold for each other), and they’re up against the combined might of the U.S. Government, while all they have on their side is pro-bono lawyer and civil rights activist William Kunstler (Mark Rylance), who’s sharp, driven and thoroughly committed to the cause but clearly massively outmatched … not to mention the fact that the judge presiding over the case is Julius Hoffman (Frank Langella), a fierce and uncompromising conservative who’s clearly 100% on the Administration’s side, and who might in fact be stark raving mad (he also frequently goes to great lengths to make it clear to all concerned that he is NOT related to Abbie).  Much as we’ve come to expect from Sorkin, this is cinema of grand ideals and strong characters, not big spectacle and hard action, and all the better for it – he’s proved time and again that he’s one of the very best creative minds in Hollywood when it comes to intelligent, thought-provoking and engrossing thinking-man’s entertainment, and this is pure par for the course, keeping us glued to the screen from the skilfully-executed whirlwind introductory montage to the powerfully cathartic climax, and every varied and brilliant scene in-between.  This is heady stuff, focusing on what’s still an extremely thorny issue made all the more urgently relevant and timely given what was (and still is) going on in American politics at the time, and everyone involved here was clearly fully committed to making the film as palpable, powerful and resonant as possible for the viewer, no matter their nationality or political inclination.  Also typical for a Sorkin film, the cast are exceptional, everyone clearly having the wildest time getting their teeth into their finely-drawn characters and that magnificent dialogue – Redmayne and Baron Cohen are compellingly complimentary intellectual antagonists given their radically different approaches and their roles’ polar opposite energies, while Rylance delivers another pitch-perfect, simply ASTOUNDING performance that once again marks him as one of the very best actors of his generation, and there are particularly meaty turns from Strong, Langella, Aquaman’s Yahya Abdul-Mateen II (as besieged Black Panther Bobby Seale) and a potent late appearance from Michael Keaton that sear themselves into the memory long after viewing. Altogether then, this is a phenomenal film which deserves to be seen no matter the format, a thought-provoking and undeniably IMPORTANT masterwork from a master cinematic storyteller that says as much about the world we live in now as the decidedly turbulent times it portrays …

12.  GREYHOUND – when the cinemas closed back in March, the fate of many of the major summer blockbusters we’d been looking forward to was thrown into terrible doubt. Some were pushed back to more amenable dates in the autumn or winter (which even then ultimately proved frustratingly ambitious), others knocked back a whole year to fill summer slots for 2021, but more than a few simply dropped off the radar entirely with the terrible words “postponed until further notice” stamped on them, and I lamented them all, this one in particular.  It hung in there longer than some, stubbornly holding onto its June release slot for as long as possible, but eventually it gave up the ghost too … but thanks to Apple TV+, not for long, ultimately releasing less than a month later than intended.  Thankfully the film itself was worth the fuss, a taut World War II suspense thriller that’s all killer, no filler – set during the infamous Battle of the Atlantic, it portrays the constant life-or-death struggle faced by the Allied warships assigned to escort the transport convoys as they crossed the ocean, defending their charges from German U-boats.  Adapted from C.S. Forester’s famous 1955 novel The Good Shepherd by Tom Hanks and directed by Aaron Schneider (Get Low), the narrative focuses on the crew of the escort leader, American destroyer USS Fletcher, codenamed “Greyhound”, and in particular its captain, Commander Ernest Krause (Hanks), a career sailor serving his first command.  As they cross “the Pit”, the most dangerous middle stretch of the journey where they spend days without air-cover, they find themselves shadowed by “the Wolf Pack”, a particularly cunning group of German submarines that begin to pick away at the convoy’s stragglers.  Faced with daunting odds, a dwindling supply of vital depth-charges and a ruthless, persistent enemy, Krause must make hard choices to bring his ships home safe … jumping into the thick of the action within the first ten minutes and maintaining its tension for the remainder of the trim 90-minute run, this is screen suspense par excellence, a sleek textbook example of how to craft a compelling big screen knuckle-whitener with zero fat and maximum reward, delivering a series of desperate naval scraps packed with hide-and-seek intensity, heart-in-mouth near-misses and fist-in-air cathartic payoffs by the bucket-load.  Hanks is subtly magnificent, the calm centre of the narrative storm as a supposed newcomer to this battle arena who could have been BORN for it, bringing to mind his similarly unflappable in Captain Phillips and certainly not suffering by comparison; by and large he’s the focus point, but other crew members make strong (if sometimes quite brief) impressions, particularly Stephen Graham as Krause’s reliably seasoned XO, Lt. Commander Charlie Cole, The Magnificent Seven’s Manuel Garcia-Rulfo and Just Mercy’s Rob Morgan, while Elisabeth Shue does a lot with a very small part in brief flashbacks as Krause’s fiancée Evelyn. Relentless, exhilarating and thoroughly unforgettable, this was one of the true action highlights of the summer, and one hell of a war flick.  I’m so glad it made the cut for the summer …

11.  PROJECT POWER – with Marvel and DC pushing their tent-pole titles back in the face of COVID, the usual superhero antics we’ve come to expect for the summer were pretty thin on the ground in 2020, leading us to find our geeky fan thrills elsewhere. Unfortunately, pickings were frustratingly slim – Korean comic book actioner Gundala was entertaining but workmanlike, while Thor AU Mortal was underwhelming despite strong direction from Troll Hunter’s André Øvredal, and The New Mutants just got shat on by the studio and its distributors and no mistake – thank the Gods, then, for Netflix, once again riding to the rescue with this enjoyably offbeat super-thriller, which takes an intriguing central premise and really runs with it.  New designer drug Power has hit the streets of New Orleans, able to give anyone who takes it a superpower for five minutes … the only problem is, until you try it, you don’t know what your own unique talent is – for some, it could mean five minutes of invisibility, or insane levels of super-strength, but other powers can be potentially lethal, the really unlucky buggers just blowing up on the spot.  Robin (The Hate U Give’s Dominique Fishback) is a teenage Power-pusher with dreams of becoming a rap star, dealing the pills so she can help her diabetic mum; Frank Shaver (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is one of her customers, a police detective who uses his power of near invulnerability to even the playing field when supercharged crims cause a disturbance.  Their lives are turned upside down when Art (Jamie Foxx) arrives in town – he’s a seriously badass ex-soldier determined to hunt down the source of Power by any means necessary, and he’s not above tearing the Big Easy apart to do it. This is a fun, gleefully infectious rollercoaster that doesn’t take itself too seriously, revelling in the anarchic potential of its premise and crafting some suitably OTT effects-driven chaos brought to pleasingly visceral fruition by its skilfully inventive director, Ariel Schulman (Catfish, Nerve, Viral), while Mattson Tomlin (the screenwriter of the DCEU’s oft-delayed, incendiary headline act The Batman) takes the story in some very interesting directions and poses fascinating questions about what Power’s TRULY capable of.  Gordon-Levitt and Fishback are both brilliant, the latter particularly impressing in what’s sure to be a major breakthrough role for her, and the friendship their characters share is pretty adorable, while Foxx really is a force to be reckoned with, pretty chill even when he’s in deep shit but fully capable of turning into a bona fide killing machine at the flip of a switch, and there’s strong support from Westworld’s Rodrigo Santoro as Biggie, Power’s delightfully oily kingpin, Courtney B. Vance as Frank’s by-the-book superior, Captain Crane, Amy Landecker as Gardner, the morally bankrupt CIA spook responsible for the drug’s production, and Machine Gun Kelly as Newt, a Power dealer whose pyrotechnic “gift” really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Exciting, inventive, frequently amusing and infectiously likeable, this was some of the most uncomplicated cinematic fun I had all summer.  Not bad for something which I’m sure was originally destined to become one of the season’s B-list features …

[kennibean]

Heyyy! I am freaking out about the fact that you write for the Breakfast Club. CN I request and andrewxreader imagine where he has crushed on reader for forever, and reader likes him but she thinks that him and Claire were together. So I’m detention he tries talking and flirting but she ignores him and talks to Brian, and eventually he corners her and they argue and she spills that she thought they were together and she can’t compete with Claire and he tells her he likes her 👉🏼👈🏼❤️

Yeah sure. This is real cute.

Also my apologies for getting this out so late it was a rough one to plan out. But I hope you enjoy.

A Saturday Fight

“Ugh.” You groaned while taking your seat at the table in the back. The last thing you wanted was to be stuck in detention. Let alone with your long time crush Andrew Clark. You guys were friends in middle school but stopped talking when Andy became really popular. You were pretty sure he had forgotten all about you, plus he was dating Claire.

Anyways you slammed your bag on the floor and collapsed with your head on the table. Looking up you noticed a familiar face give a small smirk. But you rolled your eyes and his smirk turned to a small frown. Vernon walked in to give the speech about what not to do in detention. Eventually he left to go roam the halls and we closed the door.

You lifted your head up and looks around the room to see Andrew, Claire, and Bender arguing while Brian and Allison were doing their own things. Bored out of your mind you stood up and went over to the table where the loud conversation was occurring.

“Well there she is! Sleep well?” Bender asked.

“Was I asleep?” You were dumbfounded.

“Yeah, you were.” Andrew responded for him. He smiled and once again and you rolled your eyes thinking nothing of it. You looked over at Brian who was playing with a pen.

“Hey Brian.” You said. He looked over. “Do you have a piece of paper?”

“Yeah.” He said and reached into his bag to pull out a blank sheet of paper. You then found a pencil at the bottom of your own bag and began doodling a small picture which slowly grew larger and larger only to end up consuming the whole paper. During this time you were pretty much zoned out except for the few times you felt someone watching you. Thinking it was Brian or Allison you brushed it off. But when you looked up you saw it was Andy. He quickly looked away which left you in confusion. Why would he be looking at you if he’s dating Claire?

Finally, you slammed the pencil down onto the table. “Done.” Your hand hurt like hell so you got to shake it out at last. Brian looked over at your paper.

“That looks really good Y/N!” He said as he examined your paper.

“Thanks.” You replied, smiling at his comment.

“Yeah, that looks really good.” Andy agreed.

“Yeah, thanks.” You muttered.

“So Y/N what did you do to get in here?” Brian asked.

“Why don’t you tell me what you did?”

“I asked you the question first.”

“Fine.” You said under your breath. “I got into a fight. Jerry Trapman asked me out and I said ‘no’. Then he kicked me so I kicked home back. Real hard. And then a fight broke out and I wouldn’t have been here if only I hadn’t let my temper beat the shut outta him. I knocked his tooth loose and he go a black eye.”

Everyone’s eyes widened a little about your story. You weren’t known for ever breaking out in a physical fight. But you sure did have a temper, which you thought you could control. “What did you do?” You asked Brian.

“I-uh-we,” he motioned to him and Bender.

“Totaled Dick’s car.” Bender finished for him as he jumped off of the railing. “How about you Sporto? What did you do?” He didn’t answer.

You and Brian then began your own conversation. Usually talking about random things that came to mind. Occasionally I would feel Andrew’s eyes on me. However one time it lasted a little too long.

I snapped around, cutting Brian off mid-sentence. “Excuse me but, do you need something?!” I shouted at him.

“What? N-no.” He stuttered a little bit.

“Are you sure? Cuz you’ve been lookin’ at me lit you need something. So what is it?!”

“Nothing!” He shouted back and you stood up and walked over to him as he did the same.

“What’s with you today?! You kept looking at me weird all day!”

“I was trying to get you to talk to me!” Your shouting didn’t die down even tho we’re weren’t spaced out anymore.

“Talk to you? In what way, huh? Because if I were you I wouldn’t be trying to ‘talk’ to another person with your girlfriend in the room!”

“Girlfriend?” Andrew looked crazy confused. Everyone’s heads turned to Claire.

“What? We’re not dating so leave me out of it.” Claire said, knowing exactly what was being implied.

“You mean you’re not-“

“No!” Andy cut me off. “You know, I didn’t want to spend a conversation with the girl I’ve been pining over for the past 8 years yelling!”

Your eyes widened. “Are you serious?” Your yelling died down to a whisper extremely fast.

“Yeah.” He whispered back. You stood on your toes and gave him a long kiss before parting away.

“Same here.” You responded. The two of you stared into each others eyes for a moment until you were interrupted by Bender’s slow claps.

“Touching.” He said in a numb voice.

You left the school with your closest friend back. But this time in the way you had always hoped.

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

Wherever They May Roam: Dave Mustaine

Dave Mustaine was born on September 13, 1961 in La Mesa, California. His heritage is that of German, Jewish, Irish, Finnish, and Scottish. His family also were practicing Jehovah’s Witnesses. His childhood growing up emerged as a very difficult one as his father embodied a violent alcoholic. His father and mother would divorce when he was only four years old. Mustaine had two sisters that were so much older than him that he thought of his siblings more as aunts. In high school, Mustaine began to use hard drugs very early, eventually working as a drug dealer. Through his customers, he began to learn about British metal bands like Judas Priest. He even had one client that would pay for his drugs with record albums. His first band emerged with Panic in the very early 1980’s. This was a very short lived group as the drummer and one of their sound techs died on the night of their second show. The band slowly started to disintegrate with the final straw being that the rhythm guitarist also died within a year. They never made any official recordings, nor a demo.

In 1981, Mustaine responded to an ad posted in a local newspaper The Recycler from Lars Ulrich seeking a lead guitarist for a new band. The guitarist recalls his first meeting with Ulrich and James Hetfield. "I was in the room warming up and I walked out and asked, 'Well, am I gonna audition or what?', and they said, 'No, you've got the job.' I couldn't believe how easy it had been and suggested that we get some beer to celebrate." They began to record their first album Kill ‘Em All in 1983, but problems had immediately come to the surface related to Mustaine’s membership in the band. Brian Slagel of Metal Blade Records recalls the recording of that album. “Dave was an incredibly talented guy but he also had an incredibly large problem with alcohol and drugs. He'd get wasted and become a real crazy person, a raging megalomaniac, and the other guys just couldn't deal with that after a while. I mean, they all drank of course, but Dave drank more… much more. I could see they were beginning to get fed up of seeing Dave drunk out of his mind all the time." The first time he was fired from the band came after he brought a dog to a recording. The dog jumped on the car of bassist Ron McGovney causing the paint job to be damaged. James Hetfield upon seeing this kicked the dog in a fit of anger, which led to a huge altercation with Mustaine. After the initial termination, he begged the other members to let him back into the group. They did grant him this request, so his firing was canceled. Another incident occurred when Mustaine poured beer into McGovney’s bass guitar, who was unaware when he began to plug it in. He then received a tremendous electric shock leading to him kicking both Mustaine and James Hetfield out of his house. The bass player would leave Metallica shortly after that. In April 1983, the group traveled to New York to record their debut album, but upon arrival they decided to officially fire Dave Mustaine from the group. They cited the reasons of alcohol and drug abuse, aggressive behavior, too many altercations. The band drove him to the Port Authority bus terminal and put the former Metalica guitarist on one back to California. The amount of collaboration Mustaine had with the band in those early days has always been a debate between the current Metalica and him. He would co-write four songs on Kill ‘Em All, as well as two more songs from Ride the Lightning. The songwriter has unsuccessfully contended that he also helped with “Leper Messiah” from Master of Puppets. Upon returning to San Francisco, he worked very briefly as a telemarketer, would leave this job upon earning enough money to get an apartment in Los Angeles. Mustaine would start a very short lived group called Fallen Angels with two of his coworkers from that telemarketing job. The group never played a live show or recorded anything as Mustaine later commented on the group. “We lacked the chemistry, the energy, the spark—or whatever you want to call it—that gives a band life in its infancy."

The guitarist would soon befriend a neighbor living a floor below his apartment that first began as a confrontation. His name was Dave Ellefson, who would soon join Mustaine‘s new lineup for what would become Megadeth. Originally, he was still utilizing the name from his previous effort, Fallen Angels. He had wanted any group that he played with now to present more thought provoking lyrics and a more precise, intense brand of metal music. A drummer Lee Rausch and guitarist Kerry King would join this initial lineup only to be replaced by Gar Samuelson and Chris Polish respectively. In the case of King, he went back to his original group, Slayer. Megadeth's debut album would be released in 1985 on Combat Records entitled Killing Is My Business. The group received a great amount of buzz that by the time they recorded the second album the band had signed to a major label, Capitol Records. The second album, Peace Sells, But Who’s Buying would go on to become a thrash metal classic earning gold record status. Throughout the 1980’s and early 1990’s, the only two members to be a constant with the band were Mustaine and Dave Ellefson. Other members of the group consistently changed from album to album as Mustaine’s addictions to drugs and alcohol only got worse. He would finally quit drugs and alcohol in the late 1990’s permanently. The amazing thing was despite these addictions, the band led by Mustaine in writing all the songs made mostly quality albums like 1992's Countdown to Extinction, 1994's Youthanasia, and 1997's Cryptic Writings. The only one that was really perceived as a mediocre effort came in 1988 with So Far So Good So What. This would be followed by Rust in Peace, which represented a record that made people think that Mustaine was finally clean and sober. Unfortunately, he would use the rest of the decade to struggle with those demons.

In 2002, the guitarist briefly disbanded Megadeth after a serious arm injury caused him to rethink how he would even be able to play in the future. He was able to successfully rehab from this injury, so the band went on, but with an entirely new lineup. This meant that long time collaborator Dave Ellefson was asked to leave the group. He would not return to Megadeth until 2010. Dave’s reasoning at the time was that he asked too much for his own songs to be played. “I hated being around these guys so when the arm injury happened, it was a welcome relief and an indication that I had to stop." In 2003, Mustaine also turned to Christianity. He began to look at other areas besides the beliefs held by Jehovah’s Witnesses. His description of this transformation was described in a way only Mustaine could possibly describe. “Looking up at the cross, I said six simple words, 'What have I got to lose?' Afterwards my whole life has changed. It's been hard, but I wouldn't change it for anything. Rather go my whole life believing that there is a God and find out there isn't than live my whole life thinking there isn't a God and then find out, when I die, that there is." As had always been the case with the band, Megadeth would release a new album every 2 to 3 years almost like clockwork. In 2010, Mustaine would release his autobiography entitled A Life in Metal. By this time, the war with former bandmates in Metallica began to thaw a bit. He would play five songs with the band at their 30th anniversary concert. A year later they would all tour together as part of the Big Four tour including Anthrax and Slayer as well. Surprisingly, the guitarist has been happily married since 1991 with a son and a daughter. More recently, health issues have come to the forefront including spinal stenosis which he claims was from years of headbanging. In 2019, Mustaine was diagnosed with throat cancer, but he says now that he is cancer free. One thing overall that has always concerned Mustaine is his legacy and place in the history of heavy metal guitarists. He has always been supremely confident in his ability as he noted in this interview. “To be the No. 1 rated guitar player in the world is a gift from God and I'm stoked about it…” In 2009, he gave an interview to Classic Rock Magazine that revealed this telling insight into the man. Mustaine was talking about learning he had been named the number one heavy metal guitarist ever in a book by Joel McIver. “It was especially sweet when I found out that Joel has written books on Metallica. Every page I turned, I became more excited. I get to Number 5 and it's Kirk Hammett, and I thought, 'Thank you, God'. At that point it didn't matter [which position I was]. To be better than both of them [James Hetfield and Hammett] meant so much – it's been one of the pet peeves of my career and I've never known how to deal with it. All I thought was – I win!" Upon reading this statement, one could partially see why Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield did not want him in the group.

[aragima]

hannibal questions! 🍖🔪

@nietzscheantrout @horrorlesbians and @hanniba1 wanted me to answer these hannibal questions and i wrote too much but oh well! thanks to all 3 of you ilu!!!

favorite episode and why: oh we’re just goin straight to the hard questions huh um OKAY so i think i can only do an ep a season - s1: SORBET SUPREMACY! you get to see the exact moment will looks at hannibal and thinks “.........shit. it’s him isn’t it. he’s The One. SHIT.” and that is so important to me - s2: this one is really hard maybe naka-choko? it’s so fucking gay and sexy. but tome-wan... but mizumono............ yeah idk - s3: torn between digestivo and the wrath of the lamb cuz they both hurt SOOO good much; i love will breaking up with hannibal and hannibal manipulating the situation so will can’t leave asldkjansk it’s so toxic we have to stan..... and for twotl i mean do i really have to give a reason every scene LIVES in my mind and it contains my favorite shot in the whole show:

that is LOVE baby! that is DESIRE! that is being ENTHRALLED!!!!

least favorite episode and why: i feel like they’re all so necessary that it’s kind of impossible to say but probably antipasto. i get sick of hannibal and bedelia’s shenanigans really quickly and as much as i hate to admit it... i miss will. i also think it was an extremely weak season opener and i blame it for getting the show canceled sjshshsgsg the resentment...

favorite side character: chiyoh or jimmy or actually wait— RANDALL TIER 🖤

if you could bring back one character who died, who would it be?: RANDALL FUCKING TIER. i want there to be a weird thing with him and hannibal and will going on. but also i love what his death did for will so idfk, other than him it’s gotta be beverly

dish prepared in the show that you would like to try eating/making: i was supposed to make hannibal’s osso bucco recipe like 3 weeks ago but it completely slipped my mind so i guess i’ll get on that my next grocery trip  

which side character would you kill off?: chilton just because for god’s sake just let the man DIE ALREADY poor guy <- i’m taking ava’s answer because YEAH

was there any scene that you didn’t like to look at?: nah. the skin ripping scenes at the beginning of either kaiseki or sakizuki (idk i don’t remember, i hardly watch s2a) are particularly brutal but i tough it out

biggest ship: i mean do i even have to say

why did you start watching hannibal?: my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, and her dad were watching it as it was airing and i was like “oh cool hannibal lecter origin story” but due to inconsistent access to the episodes i would just watch it randomly and that is... not the way to watch hannibal. i gave up around the end of s2 but knew hannigram was It regardless. i decided to watch s3 for the first time earlier this year just to have finished it and was like HOLD UP and did an immediate rewatch that left me... well, how i am now

favorite hannibal fic if you’ve read any?:

oh boy. yall ready for this? all of these can be found on ao3 obviously (i’m so sorry this is so long but i guess i’ve been asked to put together a fic rec anyway)

as soft, as wide as air by blackknightsatellite, the ladders series by emungere, blackbird by emungere, consenting to dream series by emungere, taken for rubies by emungere, at first meeting by emungere, protect me from what i want by @alienfuckeronmain, god of the cold, cold wars by highermagic, the abyss smiled back by highermagic, pomegranate seeds by highermagic, absolute zero by highermagic, in the truly gruesome do we trust by sidnihoudini, TKO by sidnihoudini, oh dear by lunarwench, each according to its kind by chapparral_crown, a flood in our hearts by nanoochka, let me sinful be by darlingred, uncomplicated by stratumgermanitivum & youaremydesign, good bones by @damnslippyplanet​, like they do in babylon by @damnslippyplanet​, your obedient servant by kareliasweet, past our satellites by shotgunsinlace, only the tender meat by isagel, the shape of me will always be you by missdisoriental, a white-walled room by rodabonor, spleen et idéal by rodabonor, the paper doll series by rodabonor, a common point of interest by rodabonor [i do NOT like a/b/o stuff but if i did... it’s this fic], just thought you should know by earthsickwithoutyou, the sacrificial lamb by princesskay, transcendent suffering by itsbeautiful, not something polite by moistdrippings, leave your message after the tone by onewhositswithturtles, holes in the floor of the mind by feverdreamblood, crossing caina by feverdreamblood, the archipelago series by melusine10, but seas between us braid hae roar’d by kareliasweet

have you watched any of the hannibal films?: yeah all of them except manhunter! i grew up watching silence of the lambs because my mom loved it and i went thru a big edward norton phase as a teen so i’ve seen red dragon like 10 times

have you read the thomas harris books?: no and i’m not going to lmao #fakefan

favorite murder tableau: if we’re talking just hannibal’s- the judge. if we’re talking Murder Bad But Kinda Pretty like in general probably the mushroom people or the totem

favorite blood spill: will imagining hannibal while he beats randall to death or The Gutting of Will Graham

what’re some of your headcanons?: - will is good at shibari (backed up in canon: his fishing knots, the firefly man’s full body hishi karada harness) - hannibal rarely listens to modern, non-classical music but he’s a björk fan and he saw one of her chapel performances during the vespertine era and was Moved - will listens to classic rock (zeppelin, the doors, pink floyd) with some classic country (patsy, merle, johnny) and blues (billie, muddy, bessie) thrown in. he’s also a sucker for early/mid-90s college rock/alternative/grunge - will plays the piano (because of the piano in his living room) and the harmonica (because he’s country white trash); he’s kind of shit tho - hannibal fell for will somewhere between “my thoughts are often not tasty” and “you won’t like me when i’m psychoanalyzed” (love at first sight! at last sight! at ever and ever sight!!!) - will’s circumcised, hannibal isn’t 🤪 - hannibal’s a gemini!!!! adaptable, creative, intelligent, outgoing, impulsive, etc - will’s an aquarius!!!!! analytical, a loner, temperamental, unique, compassionate, etc - will’s mom was jewish go read my fic about it https://archiveofourown.org/works/26774326 - hannibal is an agender man (tbh i think of this as canon, it’s just unstated/undefined) - hannibal can speak russian, spanish, and a teensy bit of portuguese in addition to the other languages we know he speaks (lithuanian, english, french, italian, japanese) - will speaks limited amounts of french; he learned it as a kid in louisiana - ED TW will sometimes has a Difficult relationship with food due to food instability by the way of poverty as a kid and goes through periods where it’s hard to keep himself fed, but hannibal is so good for him in that way because he keeps him from going hungry 😓 (yes this is me projecting but also it makes SENSE) - hannibal typically bottoms but THEY DEFINITELY ARE BOTH VERS and will never stops being surprised by how much he loves catching a dick. every time is like religious experience. okay? okay - they’re also both very kinky and switches but tbh.... will was made to Dom hannibal like that’s the reason he exists he could drag that old bitch around by a leash and hannibal would be in heaven HANNIBAL WOULD CALL HIM SIR - the first time they have sex hannibal comes like immediately but he isn’t embarrassed because he’s hannibal fucking lecter and hannibal lecter doesn’t get embarrassed - i have a hc for their favorite sex positions but i’m not gonna put that here because i don’t want yall calling me crazy any more than you probably already do but if you wanna know just DM me all i do is think about them fucking it’s a curse - okay no more dirty stuff abigail called hannibal “dad” on more than one occasion and it was half-joking but it also felt comfortable to her; she never thought to call will “dad” because he’s a weirdo and never knew her as much as he knew his idea of her - hannibal taught her to play piano at the cliff house - beverly is pansexual!!! - brian and jimmy kissed one time when they were drunk and they NEVER talk about it EVER - chiyoh is straight probably. i know, i know, everyone says she’s a lesbian and if she’s a lesbian to you that’s awesome! she’s a lesbian! but idk i just think she’s SO fucking straight and tbh i mourn bc that’s my wife. she could MAYBE be bicurious... - chiyoh is non-monogamous and doesn’t do serious relationships, she doesn’t like the idea of being tied to one person ever since she left the lecter castle - she helped hannibal and will escape after The Fall; she told hannibal she would continue to watch over him and i think she did, she got them a boat and got them the fuck out of there - MOLLY IS DOING SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT WILL. SHE’S SO GLAD SHE GOT OUT OF THAT WHEN SHE DID. she has a good, long talk with alana and finds out all the shit about him and hannibal that will never told her (and it was a lot), gets drunk and burns all his shit, and then washes her hands of the whole thing; moves to a different state, gets a girlfriend, and never thinks about will again

okay i’m capping it there or i’m never gonna stop!! i’m not tagging anyone cuz i think everyone has done this by now lmao but if you’re a mutual who hasn’t and you want to just do it and say i tagged you!! mwah!!!!

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Serial Killers

The day of mobilization was unseasonably warm and bright. All the members of the execution department that were chosen to participate in the effort and passed the training gathered before a massive private jet off campus. It wasn’t just any jet. It was a jumbo ‘Beluga’ style aircraft, the type of plane that could house a plane inside its massive cargo hold.

It was an impressive sight but also a comical one, with its portly silhouette undercutting the awe of its humongous size. It looked like a plane that needed to go on a diet.

Grant Baldwin of the Executive Department stood in front of the line of students and read out rollcall. Every student shouted present when their name was called. 

Brian’s heart quivered inside his chest as he came to the realization that this was it. There was no going back. He had made his decision to give his all to the mission. He’d said goodbye to Ru’Yi, he’d let go of his fascination with her father. When his name was called, he shouted out strong, “Present!”

The rollcall continued and he let out a breath. He hoped Ru’Yi wouldn’t cry if he never came back. It would be hard. A mission like this didn’t usually get follow up to next of kin. Childhood friends had no chance. He said a silent prayer to himself that she would be able to move on even without knowing what happened.

“Chu Meixiu!”

“Present!”

Brian’s eyes went wide and stayed that way. His gaze shifted without moving his head to the short female figure standing at the end of the row.

“We’ll be referring to this project as ‘Project Skyfall’ from now on. Grab your bags and line up orderly to board. We leave now.” Baldwin tucked the clipboard under his arm and walked away, avoiding Brian’s angry glare.

What was she doing here? Why was she here? Didn’t he say she wasn’t recruited? 

As they lined up, on the tall stairwell, Brian tried to turn to look but Ru’Yi was hidden in the back. There had to be some mistake. They said that they didn’t clear her for this mission. They changed their minds? Were they crazy? She wasn’t at any of the training!

At the top of the stairs, Brian looked for Mr. Baldwin but he was standing in the cockpit talking to the pilot. Brian stared at him, trying to catch his attention, but was pushed from behind and urged to move by an impatient student.

The plane was massive but the cargo area took up most of the room. The passenger area was just like any other plane with rows of seats next to windows. Brian took his assigned seat and watched as Ru’Yi walked into the plane wearing the Executive Department uniform. It fit her well, her tie perfectly set about her neck like she’d been doing this for years.

As soon as she saw him, guilt and embarrassment filled her face. Brian knew how hard he was glaring. What in the hell was she thinking? She had no idea what she was getting into!

Another student in dark glasses sat next to him. “Dude, chill.” He said after one look, blowing a bubble of gum.

“What do you mean chill?” He hissed back. “She’s not supposed to be here!”

He turned to him and pulled down his dark glasses revealing a mocking brown eyed gaze. “Listen to you talk. She’s S-ranked. If anyone’s supposed to be here, it’s her.”

Brian pressed his lips together firmly unable to argue with that. He turned and stared at the back of the seat.

“She’s got you all shook up. I never thought I’d see the day.” He chuckled.

“This isn’t a joke. She’s not trained.”

The other young man shrugged his shoulders and stared at the onflight entertainment screen.

Despite Brian’s dismay at having his feelings out in the open, he couldn’t calm down. He leaned against the window and pretended to try to fall asleep. 

The plane taxied down the runway, gunned its massive engines and took off towards the sky. Once they were at cruising altitude. Mr. Baldwin stood up in front of the group. “We’ll be landing on an Aircraft carrier in the middle of the Atlantic, 370 North west of St. Helena. There’s nothing out there but water and a massive storm system that is growing by the day.”

This Aircraft Carrier was commissioned by the West African Executive Department on the condition of absolute secrecy. You’ve all sworn to confidentiality. As far as you’re concerned, no matter what happens, this was a vacation. Anyone who is caught sending out any information on this mission will be immediately expelled. None of your names will go on record as part of this operation. You will be the unsung heroes of Cassell.”

A murmur went through the group. “I don’t owe any of you an explanation. However… because I understand you might have questions I’ll give you the one I can give.”

“Anjou died twenty years ago. Despite all his contributions to the secret society, people have already started to forget his legacy and his enemies have started to covet his secrets. As of today, only the select members of the executive West Africa Branch know of this mission. The awakening of a Dragon has not occurred for over twenty years and this may well be the last one. Everyone who’s ever wanted to be a dragonslayer will want to be on this mission. We’ve selected you, not only because you are the best, but you are the most loyal and experienced and proven to be discreet with information.”

Mr. Baldwin scanned the group who were now silent. “Let’s bring the era of dragons to a quiet ignominious end.” 

With that statement, Mr. Baldwin turned and pushed away the curtain separating his section of the aircraft from theirs.

Brian could take it no longer. He stood up. He roughly crossed over his protesting seatmate and walked back to Ru’Yi’s seat. “Who signed you up? Was it Maranis? Fingel?”

She looked up at him with an owlish expression. “No one signed me up. I volunteered!”

Brian’s jaw dropped. “You wanna explain? What happened to ‘not wanting to kill anyone’? Not wanting to be a dragonslayer? All this stuff you told me before?”

Ru’Yi’s shoulders lifted and she leaned away from him. “I changed my mind.”

“Why?” He asked, incredulous.

Ru’Yi twined her fingers, meek and embarrassed. “I thought about what you said. That whole conversation we had. And I couldn’t just… stay behind any more.”

“What I said? Nothing about what I said was encouraging you to volunteer! If anything, I was happy you weren’t going!”

“But you told me the truth! You were honest with me!” Ru’Yi’s eyes grew dimmer. “Unlike my parents.”

Brian froze.

“Everyone here really respects my mom and dad. But the truth is, I’ve only known my mom as a mom and my dad as a tour boat operator. These people that slay dragons and fight to the death… they might as well be a fairy tale. What really got to me was… when you said my Dad wasn’t like the other dragonslayers you’d met. You were looking to me for answers to questions I didn’t even know were there. I felt like you knew my Dad more than I did!”

“You came here for such a… emotional reason? You could die and then where would that leave your parents?”

“I know.” She looked up at him, pleading. “It’s just… this is my last chance to understand them. I need to understand them.”

“Really? That’s it…?” Brian shook his head in dismay. “Alright.” He ran his hand through his hair and went back to his seat.

Ru’Yi sat back in her chair and let out a breath, suddenly aware of the tense awkwardness of the room. She gave her seatmate an apologetic look.

He gave her two thumbs up, his eyes twinkling behind a mop of overlong bangs that hung over his eyes like a sheep dog. “You did great standing up to him, honey! Did you see the look on his face?”

“Doesn’t feel great…” She murmured.

“Don’t take it so personal. He’s always been a bit of a jerk.”

“No he hasn’t.”

Her certainty shocked the man. “He hasn’t?”

“No. He wasn’t always like this.” Ru’Yi thought that maybe if she went on this mission she might understand him a bit more too.

“I didn’t realize you two went that far back.” The young man rubbed his chin. Then he laughed. “Don’t worry. We’ll all do our best to make sure you come home safe and sound.”

The flight was long and uncomfortable and mostly silent. Executive Department members were supposed to be the highest trained of the force of Dragonslayers, but looking at this group, they mostly slept, read, or stared out the windows listening to earbuds. Despite their crisp and disciplined uniforms, they looked at the moment like a bunch of cats lazing in the sun.

She poked her seatmate, “Can I ask you something?”

“Huh? Oh sure? What’s up. The name’s Rodney Samuelson by the way.” 

”Thanks Rodney… um… how long have you been doing this?”

“This, as in Exec stuff? This is my fourth year. I graduate next semester. And then I’ll get placed as an agent somewhere in the world! Hopefully somewhere warm!”

“Oh… so you’ll be doing more of this after graduation…” Ru’Yi said thoughtfully.

“Yep. The threat of dragons doesn’t end with dragons unfortunately. Until today, almost everything I dealt with had to do with other hybrids.”

Ru’Yi immediately felt a chill. “Unstable hybrids?”

“Yep.” Rodney’s expression softened but he didn’t mince words. “You’re thinking of that blind guy right? People like him? That's a normal mission. Didn’t Brian tell you this?”

“No, but I probably should have known.” She sat back.

“Brian’s very good at those missions.” Rodney lowered his voice. “We have authorization to use deadly force against them. But for him, authorization is almost like a command. If he can kill them, he will.”

“Does he enjoy it?” Ru’Yi asked numbly.

Rodney rubbed his chin. “I wouldn’t say enjoy it. He’s just not affected by it. Violence doesn’t bother him like it does some people. He’s good at his job, but he’s one step away from psycho if that’s what you mean. Hate to burst your bubble.” Rodney grimaced.

“You’re fine.” She shook her head, but her expression was withdrawn. 

“You don’t look okay.”

“I just remembered something he said to me. He actually did try to warn me about that.” Ru’Yi thought back to their first meeting. He’d said that if he hadn’t joined the Executive Department he would have been a serial killer. She’d thought he was making a crude joke.

“Wow…” Rodney’s jaw dropped. “I guess things are more complicated than they seem on the surface.”

Ru’Yi nodded. She thought back to her father who had seemed so kind and gentle, compassionate and caring. Her mother who would work so hard so that the genetically disadvantaged hybrid could have a life. That idyllic view in her mind suddenly was stained a shade of red.

The light in her eyes grew even dimmer.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Wizard of Oz Queen x pre-teen reader Chap. 1; Somewhere over the rainbow

*Author’s note*

And here it is guys my next MOVIE AU fic series. This time this fic based on the classic movie “The Wizard of Oz”. Now I realized something, I was copying and pasting what I wrote in my author’s notes on my Wattpad when I was mentioning this. I know I didn’t really ask you guys about casting choices for this fic, it was only on Wattpad but I think you guys are gonna love whom I’ve chosen to be each of the lovable Wizard of Oz characters that we all probably grew up with.

Warnings: Dog bites, mentions of putting down dog, bit of angst, Paul Prenter, but there is 70′s Queen fluff so expect that.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@simonedk​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@queensdivas​

@queendeakyy​

@kairosfreddie​

@platawnic​

@geek-and-proud​

_____________________________________________________________

The summer of 1975 would be a year I would never forget for as long as I live.  Not only did I see history come to life, but I also experienced something that almost seemed right out of my favorite movie, The Wizard of Oz.  But before I begin, I would like to tell you who I am.

My name is (Y/n) Gale and I live at Rockfield farm studios with my Aunt Em and Uncle Henry.  My parents died in a car crash when I was just 4 years old, so my uncle Henry (my father’s eldest brother) took me in and he and Aunt Em became my parental figures.

The only thing my parents left behind was my fateful Welsh Corgi that I named Toto (yes I named him after the dog from the Wizrd of Oz, deal with it).  He’s literally the only thing I have left to remember my parents by and he’s always been there for me when I needed him.

I was 12 years old when the famed band Queen came to our home/farm to record their next big album.  And throughout that time I grew close to them, and like I mentioned before it was also the day that would change my life forever.

And so our story begins.

It was mid-July and I was running back towards the house with Toto at my side.  I had been asked by my uncle to go to the market to grab some food for the guys, however I was forced to go along with the band’s ‘manager’ Paul Prenter.

God that guy just really pisses me off.  He’s creepy, manipulative, and wicked.  Toto always sensed something off about him cause whenever he came around, Toto would bark and try to bite him.  This time he did manage to finally bite Paul on the leg after he snapped at me for not grabbing the right apples for Freddie.

After he bit him, I took Toto and ran right out of the store with Paul threatening to get the police involved.  We stopped just a few feet from the house and I knelt down to Toto and said.

“I think we lost him. He didn’t hurt you did he?” I checked him over and felt no bumps or cuts.  I hugged Toto close to me and sneered, “He tried to though. But we better go tell Aunt Em what happened. We can’t let the police get involved. C’mon Toto.”

We took off running the rest of the way home. I hopped over the fence that surrounded our home and raced down the hill with Toto running just ahead of me.

“Aunt Em! Aunt Em!” I soon came up to the farm to see my aunt and uncle near the old incubator counting the freshly hatched baby chicks. “Oh Aunt Em you won’t believe what happened at the market! Paul said……”

“(Y/n) please dear we’re trying to count.”

“But Aunt Em Paul said that he’s gonna get the police to take…..”

“Not now (Y/n)! This old incubator finally died out and we’re more than likely to lose all of our chicks.” Uncle Henry said to me sternly as he placed some of the chicks into his hat.

“Aww the poor little things.” I grabbed on chick and held it close to my face so that it wouldn’t die of pneumonia.  As Aunt Em placed some of the chicks in with their mother in a small chicken cage, I continued to tell them. “But at the market place Paul was yelling at me and Toto was just defending me! Now he’s gonna get the police to take Toto away! But like I told you he was just protecting me cause Paul was yelling at me for picking up the wrong apples that Freddie likes!”

“Now (Y/n) we’ll discuss this matter later. Right now go find that young lad who said he was an electrical engineer and ask him if he could have a look at this incubator.” Aunt Em told me.

“But……”

“No buts. Right now go!” she ushered me away before going back to the baby chicks.

“Yes Aunt Em.” I spoke solemnly before turning away from the farm and walked towards the studio building where I saw John Deacon before I left for the market.

As I walked along, I felt like something was following me.  I looked down to Toto who kept walking beside me before getting ahead of me.  Suddenly I was picked up and thrown over someone’s shoulder.

“And he finally takes her by surprise and hauls her over. The fierce hunter finally gaining the upper hand!” that soft, slightly raspy voice came from none other than Roger Taylor.  I could hear Toto’s frantic barking and he even hopped up and down.

“Roger put me down!” I laughed.

“Fine, fine. But first a little payback.” Suddenly I was spun around like a helicopter.  The two of us laughing and shrieking before I was finally tossed into the hay pile. “Victory and Vengeance is mine at last!” he then collapsed into the hay right beside me, the two of us laughing.

“You’re nuts Roger Taylor, you know that right?”

“And what’s wrong with that? Nuts are like your Aunt Em’s cookies it’s the nuts that makes things interesting.” He said as he hovered over me grinning.

“Yeah. Nuts, handsome but brainless.”

“Oi I resent that! I do have a brain! I got my degree in biology after all. So I’m more than just a handsome face.”

“I thought you were a dentist?”

“I was never a dentist and you know that. God I can’t believe Brian and John told you about that.” He said as he bopped my nose with a strand of hay.  I raised my hand up and took some hay out of his blonde hair and retorted.

“I’m glad they did, cause now I can brag to my friends about how the drummer of Queen could’ve been their dentist.” It was then Roger began to tickle me.

“Swear you won’t tell that to anyone and I’ll stop.” He threatened as he tickled my stomach.  I was kicking up hay until I finally gave in and told him I wouldn’t. With that he stopped and grinned down at me while I tried to regain my breath.

“You’re insane Roger.” He shrugged cheekily.

“But you love me for it.” He said as he bopped my nose again before laying down close to me again.

“Yeah I do.”

“So—do you want to tell me just why you looked upset earlier?” I looked down sadly towards Toto and finally sat up and said.

“Paul’s threatening to have the police take Toto away just because he bit him.”

“He did?” he shot up and looked down at Toto who looked at us with a soft wag of his stub tail. “Atta boy Toto!” he cheered. He patted his leg and Toto soon tried to make his way up the hair pile.  

But he sunk down into it due to his size so Rog quickly grabbed him and held him in the air.

“It’s about time someone gave that irritating, self-absorbed bastard a good bite ehh?” Toto barked and tried to lick Roger’s face.  Roger brought Toto close to his face and he then began to lick the blonde drummer’s face. Rog softly chuckled as he ruffled through Toto’s fur.

“But Paul said he’s gonna get the police to take him away. What if that really happens?” Rog turned to me and handed Toto back to me as he said.

“I wouldn’t worry about that prick. He’s all talk and no bite. He’s threatened me once or twice about having me being kicked out of the band cause of my constant groupies. But Fred and the others wouldn’t dare replace me.”

“They’d be crazy to.”

“Indeed. But—if by some miracle he’s serious, I’ve got your back. Okay?” I nodded as I stroked through Toto’s fur.

“Thanks Rog. Toto’s—he’s the only thing I have left of my parents. If he’s gone then so are their memories.” Roger brought me into a one armed hug and rested his chin on top of my head.

“I know love. I know.” We stayed there for a moment before I asked him.

“Rog? Is—Deacy still in the studio? I almost forgot that my Aunt Em and Uncle Henry want to talk to him about our broken incubator.”

“Yeah. He’s still working on that song of his. Still won’t tell us what it is but that’s how John is.” I slide off the haystack and set Toto down and told him to come with me. “Oh hey!” I turned around and Rog continued, “I forgot to mention Brian and Fred are in there. So if they’re arguing, you now have a heads up.” I nodded and Toto and I raced to the studio.

The first thing I heard were Brian and Freddie’s voices talking over one another.

“I think Brian dear, this guitar solo you have for my song is beautiful but it needs more…...more…..You know rock and roll feel.”

“Well you know I’m always up for that Fred.” I shook my head at the two of them and that’s when Toto went on ahead and met up with John who was sitting in the corner with a clipboard and a stack of papers around him.

Toto immediately hopped up onto his lap.  Ever since they came, Toto’s always been more driven towards John Deacon than any of the other guys.  It might be because of his quiet personality, or some kind of aurora about him that only Toto can tell but any chance he gets, Toto will always want to hop onto Deacy’s lap.

“Well it would seem we’ve got a surprise visitor.” John soon spoke up as he set his stuff aside and rubbed Toto’s head. Brian and Freddie soon turned towards me and Brian said.

“And another.”

“(Y/n) my darling don’t be shy, you know you can always welcome here.”

“Sorry guys I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“Oh nonsense dear come on in!” Freddie gestured with his hand gracefully.  I walked into the studio when Brian said.

“(Y/n) come here.” He gestured with a come hither of his index finger.  I walked right up to him and he immediately began going through my hair and removed a strand of straw in my hair. “How on earth did you get some much hay in your hair?” he asked as he kept going through my hair for more strands.

“Two words. Roger’s revenge.”

“Ahhh. Blondie got back at you from when you scared him into the chicken coop.” Freddie said.

“I tried to tell him that our hens were defensive over their chicks but he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“That was rather funny seeing those hens chase after him. And that one that even got on top of his head.” Brian laughed.

“Yep that’s our Gloria. The most protective mama hen of them all.”

“Roger must’ve looked like a tramp to them. So Mama Hen’s gotta do when mama Hen’s gotta do.” Freddie spoke.

“That’s the natural instincts of a mother. I already know Veronica’s feeling that for our son.” John said as he kept petting Toto who was now lying across John’s lap.

“Here one last strand and then you’re free to go.” Brian told me.  This one was the most difficult one as it actually pulled against my hair.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!”

“Sorry.” Finally the hay strand came out and he gently massaged my scalp to ease the tension. “There, all done.”

“Thanks Brian. Hey Deacy, my aunt and uncle are wondering if you could have a look at our old incubator. It broke down and they want to know if you could fix it.”

“Yeah, I can have a look at it. I can come back to this song later.” He stood up and folded it into his back pocket when Freddie spoke up.

“Deacy dear when can we see this new song you’re writing?”

“You’ll see it once it’s ready. And not until then.” Toto followed at John’s heel as the three of us now stepped outside and walked towards the farm.

“So what is your song about anyway?” I asked.

“Oh no I get enough baggage from Fred, don’t you start now.” He groaned with a playful grin.

“I’m not. I’m just asking out of curiosity.” He sighed and looked down.

“Even if I told you, I doubt the others would allow it to be on the album.”

“Why’s that?” we stopped and that’s when he took his lyric sheet out from his pocket and looked down at it before handing it to me. I took the papers in my hands and unfolded them and right across the top in large handwritten font was the phrase.

YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND (For Veronica and Robert)

“You’re my best friend?” I questioned.

“I know. Not the typical hard rock title song that a rock band would call a song. But I—I really wanted to write this song for Veronica. After……everything’s that’s happened with the sudden pregnancy, her parents utter disapproval of us having the baby before marriage. I really wanted her to have something happy for once in her life. Plus—she’s kept me grounded when the fame of rock and roll gets too much.”

“I think it’s a pretty song. I love the lyrics. I would probably listen to this song over and over again.”

“But it’s not really a song that a rock band would do. God I can already hear Roger’s complaints about this song. Especially with the line ‘I’m happy at home’. Sounds corny doesn’t it?”

“To some yeah, but I think it’s sweet. I mean I don’t know Veronica but the way you talk about her and your son it’s—it’s sweet Deacy. I think you should show this to Freddie and he’d back you up 100 percent.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so, right Toto?” Toto let out a couple of barks as he looked up at Deacy wagging his tail happily.  He smiled and ruffled both my head as well as Toto’s as he said.

“Thanks you two. At least I know two fans of this song already.” I smiled but it soon dropped as I saw what was coming up the trail of the house.

Riding up on the bicycle I had left behind was Paul Prenter and right behind him was the sheriff’s car.

“Oh no.” Deacy turned to see just what was going on and he muttered.

“Oh great now what did Roger do?”

“It’s not for Roger, it’s for Toto. He actually went through with it oh my god he went through it!” I panicked as I grabbed Toto.

“Hey, hey, hey poppet calm down.” Deacy assured me as he cupped my face in his hands. “Whatever happened we’ll fix it okay?”

“Will you?”

“We’ll do our best.” John assured me with a kiss to the center of my forehead as his thumbs stroked my cheeks.  Paul hopped off of my bike and the sheriff parked his car before stepping out.

“Right there officer. There’s the dog that bit me!” Paul proclaimed as he pointed at me.  Roger who soon came up to see what was going on stood right by my side as he said.

“Prenter how dare you call this sweet little girl an animal!”

“No Roger I meant the beast she’s holding!”

“Alright Mr. Prenter let me handle this.” Sheriff Hooper soon said as he came up to us.

“Officer whatever that man has told you it’s utterly false.” Roger demanded.

“Step aside son, the both of you. I just wish to speak with Ms. Gale and get her side of the story.” Sheriff Hooper said firmly.

“You can’t interrogate a minor. Not without her guardians present.” Deacy spoke up.

“Very well son. (Y/n) is your aunt or uncle home?”

“They should be inside the house by now.”

“Alright, let’s move this discussion inside.” Sheriff Hooper walked towards the house while Paul glared down at Toto and I but Roger and Deacy stood protectively in front of me.

“You got something smart to say, you say it to me first Prenter.” Roger sneered.  Paul didn’t speak a word as he slunked away behind Sheriff Hooper.

Inside my aunt, uncle, Paul, Sheriff Hooper, and myself and Toto were in the living room.  Sheriff Hooper told the band to stay out of the affair since it wasn’t any of their business.

“That dog is a menace to this household. I’ll forever feel unsafe until we take our leave unless that thing is taken away and destroyed!” Paul demanded.

“Destroyed? Toto! You can’t do that. Auntie Em, uncle Henry you wouldn’t allow that to happen will you?” I pleaded to both my aunt and racing up to my uncle as I held Toto in my arms.

“Of course we won’t sweetheart, will we Em?” Uncle Henry assured me.

“Oh please Aunt Em,” I raced back over to her chair and pleaded, “Toto didn’t know he was doing anything wrong. He was protecting me. I’m the one who should be punished cause I didn’t catch him in time. You can send me to bed without supper and have me do twice as many chores for the next week.”

“If you don’t allow Sheriff Hooper here to take that dog, I’ll threaten to have this whole studio be taken away from you! There’s a law that protects people against dogs that bite!” Paul threatened.

“How about if she keeps him tied up? He’s really gentle, around gentle people that is.” Aunt Em said.

“Well that’s for the Sheriff to decide.” We all turned to Sheriff Hooper who took a drag of his cigarette.  He exhaled a large puff of smoke and cleared his throat.

“Unfortunately with the evidence of a pretty severe bite I cannot let it slide. I’m afraid by law I will have to take the dog and have him be put to sleep.” He said grimly.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no they can’t do this! It was just one bite and it was in self-defense! Toto was just trying to protect me since Paul tried to hit me.

“Well we—we can’t go against the law (Y/n), I’m afraid poor Toto has to go.” Aunt Em said sadly.

“Now you’re seeing reason.” Paul said as he stood up.  Sheriff Hooper then took out combined leash and muzzle.

“I’ll have to put this on him so that he won’t attack anyone while I put him in my car.”

“No! No! I won’t let you! BACK OFF! YOU BOTH GO AWAY or….OR I’LL BITE YOU MYSELF!!!” I screamed out.

“(Y/n)!” Aunt Em scolded me.

“Paul Prenter you’re a wicked old witch! Please Aunt Em don’t let him take Toto!” I then felt Paul trying to reach over me trying to grab Toto.  I struggled as I pleaded, “DON’T LET HIM TAKE HIM!!”

“Take him Henry!” Aunt Em said gravely.

I watched helplessly as Uncle Henry took Toto out of my arms and held him while Sheriff Hooper put the muzzled lead on him. Toto whimpered and groaned as he swayed his head side to side due to the muzzle.  My uncle then handed Toto over to the Sheriff and he tipped his hat and said.

“I’m sorry. Good afternoon Gales.” With that Toto was gone.  Tears poured down my face as I quickly raced out of the living room and slammed my door shut.

I raced over to my bed and wept hysterically into my pillows.  How could they do this? Grown ups ruin everything! Why did they have to take the one thing that reminded me of my parents.  

I’ve forgotten what they look like, how they acted towards me, and all the memories I had with them cause I was too young to remember them.  The only thing I did remember was when they gave my Toto as a birthday present.

“(Y/n)?” I heard Freddie’s soft voice call out to me from my window.

“Please……I don’t wanna see anybody.” I whimpered.

“We’re so sorry (Y/n). If we could intervene we would but—” Brian said.  It was then we all heard Paul’s horrid voice call out.

“Freddie! Boys! We’re going to our next recording location. Pack up your things and let’s get going now!”

“Hold on we weren’t supposed to leave till three days from now!” Roger exclaimed.

“Plans change. Let’s leave. Pack up and get into the cars.” Great, as if things couldn’t get any worse I was now losing my new friends.  The only ones who really understood the situation I was in and stood at my side.

“Well—I guess this is an early goodbye dear.” I felt Fred’s hand gently stroke head.  I curled up into a ball refusing to even give the guys a final goodbye.

I heard a solemn sigh from the guys and soon all was quiet except for my sniffles and crying.

*3rd Person POV*

The boys packed up their stuff and packed them back into the cars.  Meanwhile Paul had given his last statement for the Sheriff against his dog bite. Roger turned and glared at Prenter and growled.

“You know Toto should’ve bitten him in the mouth, that would’ve shut him up.”

“Rog. Look I hate this as much as you do but the law is the law.” Brian said.

“Well the law is bollocks!”

“Darling I agree but Brian does have a point. A dog bite is serious. I mean if someone else’s cat came and attacked one of my darlings I’d damn well sue the owner’s for neglect. But Toto is a sweet dog, at least between the four of us.”

“I just feel bad about (Y/n). Toto was the last thing she had of her parents. With him being—you know….it’s like she’ll lose everything about them.” Roger spoke solemnly.

“She’ll be alright.” John said as he soon walked across the three of them and placed his bass guitar into the back of the car.

“And how do you know that?” questioned Brian.

“I just know.” Freddie raised a brow and could tell his little Deacy had done something very naughty.

“Alright boys. On we go to Ridge farm. There we’ll finish this album and deliver it to EMI.” Paul said as he got into the front seat of one of the cars.

Then each of the boys piled into the cars they came in and soon they as well as the Sheriff drove off.  When all was clear, peaking out from the grass was a now unmuzzled Toto.

Earlier while the Sheriff was with Paul, Deacy snuck up to the cruiser and unlocked the door and had freed Toto.  He removed the muzzle from him and told him to go hide and not to come out till everyone was gone.  Loving John as much as he loved (Y/n), Toto obeyed and now he was free to run right back to his master.  He let out a few barks before coming through her window and standing right at her side.

*My POV*

I heard a familiar bark coming from my window but I thought I was just imagining things.  That was until I felt a weight beside me and a lick at my fingers.  I looked up and gasped.  Toto was back!

“Oh Toto darling! Oh you came back! You came back!” I hugged and stroked through his fur, leaning my head against his. But then reality hit me.  I held him close to my chest as I said, “Sheriff Hooper could come back for you if he finds you gone. We’ve got to get away. We’ve got to run away!”

I quickly grabbed my suitcase and packed the first things that I touched.  My clothes, a picture of me and Aunt Em, a flashlight, and a shawl to keep warm.

Once I was packed up, Toto and I snuck out the window and we raced out of the farm and walked down the muddy road trail.

It felt like hours since we started walking. The once clear skies now grew dark and grey and the sun was long buried underneath the dark clouds.  Toto walked right at my side when we came across an abandoned car along the side of the road.

It looked freshly new but why would anyone want to abandon a car like this.  It looked in good shape and looked like it could still run.

“Hmm? Now why would someone want to abandon a car like this?” it’s nice black coat gleamed even through the cloudy weather.

That’s when a man around my uncle Henry’s age, maybe even slightly younger came walking back with a tank of gas in his hands.

“Ohh well. And here I thought I was going to be stranded all on my own.” He wore a nice black suit, had short dark brown hair, and green eyes.  He looked like a nice man with a good head on his shoulders.

“We didn’t mean to impose sir. We were just walking along the trail here.”

“Pretty young to be traveling alone aren’t you miss? I mean it’s none of my business, I just seem concerned for your safety.” He said as he came up to the car and set the gas tank down.

“I can look after myself.” I sassed.

“Oh I don’t doubt that. I’ve got a daughter around your age who acts just like you. God that child will give me an ulcer one of these days, but I love her just the same. Sorry, Jim Beach. Although one of my clients insist that I’d be called Miami.”

“Wait—would that client be named Freddie Mercury by any chance?”

“Indeed. You know of him?”

“He and the rest of Queen were staying at our farm for a while completing their album.”

“Ahhh so you must be one of the Gale’s we were told about who owned the farm studio.”

“Yes. I’m (Y/n) Gale.” I extended my hand and he took it as we shook hands.

“As I said earlier, Jim Beach. I’m the band’s lawyer. I only came by to check and see how the lads were doing. And to see if they hadn’t killed each other yet.” He muttered the last part to himself.

“They’re doing good. Well last I saw them. They left the farm earlier this afternoon.”

“Already? But we had them scheduled to stay at your family’s farm house for three more days.”

“That’s—a long story.” I said as I looked down at Toto.

“Hmm. Let me guess, Paul’s idea?”

“How’d you guess?”

“I’ve had my suspicions of Paul Prenter. He’s never really had Queen’s, especially Freddie’s, best interest at heart. But unfortunately there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m not their manager. John Reid is.”

“Well—if I may say Mr. Beach I hope eventually you do end up managing them. You seem to really care about Queen.”

“They’re—a unique bunch. Chaotic and insane. You almost want to pull your hair out at times but……they know what they want and they work together for being 4 completely different people.” I nodded.

“Mr. Beach. Would it be alright with you if Toto and I came along with you to tour with Queen?”

“Umm……I don’t know. What would your parents think?” I looked down sadly.

“They—they died when I was 4 years old. The grownups that own the farm are my aunt and uncle.”

“Oh I’m—I’m sorry.” I shook my head telling him it was fine. “But if I may ask—why do you want to come along with me?”

“My aunt Em and Uncle Henry don’t really understand me anymore. They agreed to have Toto be taken away and be put to sleep all because Paul says he bit him. Ever since the guys came to the farm I’ve had more fun than I’ve had in years. Plus I’ve never been anywhere outside my farm or the nearby market. I want to see the world, go where Queen goes.”

Hearing the stories from the boys about all the places they’ve gone on tour from Japan, to America, all over Europe, and even Australia (even though they were booed off the stage) it’s still amazing to think they could freely travel around the world.

And I want to have that experience.  Travel the world, see new places, meet new people, and be with the people that really love and understand me.

“Hmm…..are you positive that’s what you want?” I nodded. “I mean, if it were up to the guys I’m sure they’d probably let you come but I…..oh nothing. You probably wouldn’t want to hear about it from an old man like me.”

“Hear what?”

“Well. I know that around these parts everyone knows everyone.”

“That’s right. Even though the closest house to our farm is miles away, everyone’s friendly to one another when we see each other.”

“Well. On my way back from the gas station, the clerk there had gotten a call from a frantic aunt who was calling about her niece running away.” I gasped.

“Me?”

“Well I didn’t hear a name but the clerk was very concerned for the frantic aunt. I think I even heard him asking her if she was okay. She might’ve sounded sick.”

“Sick?”

“Again I didn’t pay much attention but he did sound worry. But if that is true I really hope she’ll be okay.” What have I done? Could my running away really have made Aunt Em sick?

“Come on Toto we’ve got to go home right away!”

“But wait I thought you wanted to come along with me and the boys?”

“Oh no, no, no I’ve got to get home as soon as possible. Come on Toto!” we raced back up the trail and I exclaimed, “Goodbye Mr. Beach and thank you!”

*Jim Beach’s POV*

Worked like a charm.  I grabbed the tank and began filling my car up with gas when the wind suddenly started to pick up.  Leaves were blowing high up into the sky and the clouds grew even darker.  

I ceased my gas filling and quickly turned on the radio and heard along the weather station.

‘It would seem for the first time in over 30 years we’re seeing signs of a Tornado reaching from Monmouth to Bristol. Winds traveling at over 180mph. Please be advise to go into your storm cellars, keep away from the windows and stay out of the open fields.’

Oh god.  I quickly got back in the car and started up.  Oh that poor kid I hope she makes it home in time.  And if the boys are still on the road, hope they can get to a shelter in time.

[musicollage]

Atlas Sound. Logos, 2009. Kranky (USA) / 4AD (UK). ( Lyrics & Music – Bradford Cox )  ~ [ Album Review |   1) Pitchfork  +  2) Pop Matters  + 3) Drowned In Sound  +  4) NME  + 5) Prefix Magazine  ]

1) As we've gotten to know Bradford Cox over the last couple of years through shows, interviews, and blog posts, one of the Deerhunter frontman's most appealing qualities is his deep and nuanced appreciation of the music of others. Some musicians listen to records to see how they work, check out the competition, or trawl for ideas; by all available evidence, Cox feels records, deeply. If he was born without musical gifts and couldn't sing or play an instrument, one can imagine him working at a record store, amassing an enviable collection while driving people on a message board crazy with the sureness of his detailed opinions. Whatever you think of his exploits as an indie rock media figure, Cox's music fandom is easy to identify with and also offers a portal into his own work.

Atlas Sound, Cox's solo alias, in one sense serves as a sort of laboratory for figuring out what makes some his favorite music tick, away from the expectations of his main band. Two collaborations on Logos, the second Atlas Sound full-length, are excellent examples of how music listening can be absorbed into original work. First is "Walkabout", a track Cox wrote and recorded with Noah Lennox from Animal Collective, whom Cox got to know during a European tour. Though Cox's music shades dark and Lennox's is often flecked with uncertainty and doubt, "Walkabout" is the sunniest pop tune of either of their careers. Coasting on a buoyant, twinkling keyboard sample, it is a starkly catchy and irresistible, a clattery post-millennial Archies tune that straddles perfectly the border between simple and simplistic. Interestingly, it also sounds very much like a Panda Bear tune.

Then there is Lætitia Sadier of Stereolab, who wrote the lyrics and sings lead on Logos' "Quick Canal". The song opens with some gorgeously textured organ chords and soon a steady-state beat and drums rise up in the mix, setting the kind of relaxed-but-propulsive neo-krautrock scene that Stereolab perfected very early on. Here Cox gets to play the part of the late Mary Hansen, adding "la-di-da" trills behind Sadier as she intones phrases in her unfailingly lovely, for-the-ages voice. He even throws in a "Jenny Ondioline"-style rupture about halfway through, sending the track into a breathtaking shoegaze section for its final four minutes, wherein it floats magisterially on a pillow of shifting guitar feedback. "Quick Canal" is almost nine minutes long and it doesn't waste a second.

On these tracks, the confidence Cox shows in melting his aesthetic into the soundworld of other musicians is striking-- both are unqualified successes, very different from each other but among the best things Cox has ever done. But they also sound a lot like the music his collaborators are known for. Cox's sympathetic support and sense of how to construct songs with others suggests a desire to expand the parameters of what Atlas Sound can be. And given his willingness to let others take the microphone on an Atlas Sound project on these cuts, I can't help but go back to Cox's words on Logos before the album was released, which suggested that this was to be less introverted and that was "not about me."

And then I remember that the cover of the album consists of a photo of Cox with his shirt off and the lyrics in the first two songs start with the word "I", which suggests that we probably shouldn't take these statements very seriously. While the songs may or may not be "about" Cox in the strictest sense, the overall vibe is at least as introverted as 2008's Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel, and every note bears the same signature. With its strummed guitars, hushed double-tracked vocals, and tunes more reliant on ambiance and feel than melody or rhythm, Logos feels every bit as diaristic and personal, but with Cox, that's a plus. At this point, we're not looking to this guy for commentary on the outside world; we want to hear him wrestle with private demons in the sanctuary of his bedroom, bathing every sound in reverb to give the illusion of space and as a sonic balm against loneliness and figuring out how to make music as affecting as the stuff he loves to listen to.

So tracks like "The Light That Failed", "An Orchid", and "My Halo" (the latter two, though different in tone, are further entries in Cox's growing line of melancholy waltz-time shuffles) function primarily as the kind of eerie, blown-out mood music he has become very good at. They are amorphous sketches that still manage to convey feeling, capturing the sort of sad, exhausted, and fragile emotional state that is Cox's area of expertise. "Shelia", a taut pop song with a great chorus hook, is a change-up, though the repeating refrain "No one wants to die alone" fits with the rest of the record's themes. And "Washington School", with its dissonant chime of metallic percussion that sound like gamelan or evilly out-of-tune steel drums, contains the record's most interesting production, with thick drones reminiscent of Tim Hecker and menacing rhythm track.

So some things are different, some are the same, but all of it works well together. It's true that every time Cox ventures out of his comfort zone on Logos, you wish that he'd go even further and embrace extremes-- of tunefulness, tradition, noise-- that don't necessarily come to him naturally. He may yet take a big leap with Atlas Sound, but here the steps away, though rewarding, are tentative. For the rest of the record, Logos feels familiar and assuring, another affecting dispatch from a corner of indie music that is increasingly starting to seem like one Cox pretty much owns.

2) Take a quick gander at Deerhunter's discography and you'll notice a clear stylistic trajectory. From the confrontational noise of "Turn It Up Faggot" to the ambient preoccupations of Cryptograms to the straight-up indie-pop of Microcastle/Weird Era Cont., it's plain to see that as the band has evolved over time, its songwriting has increasingly tended toward the more accessible end of the spectrum. Unsurprisingly, it appears that Bradford Cox's other songwriting vehicle, Atlas Sound, is following a similar arc. On Logos, his second album under the Atlas Sound moniker, Cox provides us with 11 songs that are far less insular, though no less dreamy, than those he has penned in the past. While his fractured compositions still evoke the myth of the bedroom pop auteur, the songs on Logos sound considerably more refined than the lo-fi sketches being churned out by many of his peers. This, as it turns out, is a very good thing.

  To wit: "Walkabout", the track that had the blogosphere buzzing with anticipation for the better part of the summer. Built around a squelchy organ sample lifted from the Dovers "What Am I Going to Do", the song simultaneously recalls both the acid-tinged psychedelia of Black Moth Super Rainbow and the technicolor pop of Brian Wilson. Of course, it's impossible to mention "Walkabout" without acknowledging its co-creator, Noah Lennox, a.k.a. Panda Bear. In many ways, "Walkabout" bears Lennox's fingerprints more than it does Cox's, with Lennox's wistful vocal harmonies echoing throughout the track's four-minute runtime. It's easy to see why Cox chose to leak "Walkabout" well in advance of the release of Logos; bright, bubbly and infinitely catchy, the song perfectly captures the mood of a fleeting summer afternoon and stands as one of the year's best singles.

   "Walkabout" is obviously a standout, though it's also an outlier when approached within the context of Logos. While some may feel as if they've been misled, the good news is that the rest of the album is no less rewarding, if not quite as instantly gratifying. Take, for example, the opening suite that leads up to "Walkabout". Pitting disjointed acoustic guitar strums and distant, reverb-soaked vocals against a backdrop of aqueous noise, "The Light That Failed" succeeds at drawing the listener in while still keeping her at arm's length. "An Orchid", meanwhile, presents the listener with a dreamy ballad that feels like an indistinct outline for a Deerhunter song. Cox's vocals and the song's guitar hook are buried just deep enough in the mix to force the listener to dig a little. When "Walkabout" finally hits, it feels like a reward well earned.

  Luckily, "Walkabout" isn't the only nugget of pure pop bliss to be found on Logos. "Shelia", a disarmingly straightforward slice of jangly college-rock, proves hard to shake, with its Pixies-esque melody and sun-bleached three-part harmonies. Lyrically, the song serves as a world-weary rejoinder to the sweetly nostalgic refrain of "Walkabout" ("What did you want to be / When you grew up"), with Cox explaining, "No one wants / To die alone", before promising the song's titular subject, "We'll die alone / Together." It sure goes down easy, though.

  Cox has publicly acknowledged that Stereolab were his favorite band in high school, so it should come as no surprise that given the opportunity to collaborate with Lætitia Sadier, he puts his best foot forward. On "Quick Canal", he lovingly builds up and tears down a cathedral of sound for Sadier to inhabit, layering a deep bass groove, tambourine hits and a wall of gently panning organs atop a steady, shuffling beat. Midway through, the song falls apart, briefly taking a detour into glitchy noise before giving way to a squall of fuzzed-out guitars. Try as Cox might to obfuscate the vocals, however, Sadier's voice proves indefatigable. To her credit, she sounds right at home here, bouncing her voice off of the song's jagged edges to produce a track that's equal parts haunting and triumphant.

  With regard to electronic composition, on Logos Cox sounds more confident than ever before. Samples and electronic instrumentation form the underpinnings of many of the album's songs, though not to conspicuous effect. Penultimate track "Washington School" illustrates this point better than perhaps any other on the album. Opening with a loop built from fragments of a minor key piano line, the song soon piles on a pounding, bass-heavy beat, chimes and a playful synth line, blossoming into a full-on folktronica number that recalls Four Tet circa Rounds. Somewhere in the distance, Cox's disembodied voice rings out: "Shine a light / On me."

  If Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel was the product of Cox's willful isolation, then Logos is the sound of the auteur stepping outside of his bedroom to engage the world outside. Though it cedes little of the hazy delivery that made Let the Blind… so compelling, Logos brims with a wide-eyed energy all its own, conveying a palpable sense of optimism that's all too rare in Cox's oeuvre. This isn't too surprising when one considers the circumstances; the path that led Cox to the album's creation -- globetrotting tours with his idols, collaborations with some of the most distinctive voices in indie rock -- is the stuff of dreams for hermetic music nerds. Perhaps that's why Logos sounds as vibrant as it does: it's the result of Bradford Cox living out his dreams rather than just dreaming them.

   3) One of many unsatisfactory things about end-of-decade retrospectives is that musicians are rarely so accommodating as to plot their careers in nice, convenient ten year cycles. Nonetheless, that’s how posterity tends to remember them, regardless of finer details. Thus the Kinks are Sixties artists, the Clash a Seventies act, Talk Talk an Eighties band, Nirvana from the Nineties, and you’d comfortably stick a punt on The Strokes and Sufjan Stevens ending up defined by this decade we’re exiting.

  But what of Bradford Cox? Even if you were aware of Deerhunter's raucous 2005 debut ”Turn It Up Faggot” at the time, you're a wizard or a liar if you foresaw how their frontman was going to fill the years 2007 to 2009. That is to say: three Deerhunter albums (‘tis a fool indeed who views Weird Era Cont. as anything other than a record in its own right), two EPs, and a solo project as Atlas Sound that’s yielded God-know-how-many free downloads, as well as last year's Let The Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel, and now – an epic 22 months later - Logos. That all of this bar the odd freebie has been good to exemplary is simply astonishing, and points to an artist whose profligacy and cult popularity has him nicely set up to be a defining artist of the next decade.

  And yet... anomalous as ”Turn It Up Faggot” may seem, such scabrous origins are indicative of a palette that has been cooling and quietening ever since Cox first intersected with the limelight. The soundbite-friendly ‘ambient punk’ aesthetic never really lasted beyond Cryptograms, with Microcastle canning the abrasiveness in favour of reasonably straightforward shoegaze set off with dreamlike Fifties flourishes. Having arrived at something like a commercial sound, another artist might have stopped there; however, Cox has ploughed right on through, this year’s Rainwater Cassette Exchange far and away Deerhunter’s most introverted work, a retreat into quiescent childhood reverie.

  Logos has much more in common with Rainwater... than Let the Blind..., for the most part ditching the dissonant electronics in favour of delayed acoustic guitars and old-time pop structures. On the face of it, it sets out Atlas Sound’s stall as simply being whatever Cox may do sans Deerhunter. Yet in a way the 'ambient solo project' tag still kind of makes sense. Strictly speaking ambient music is defined not by instrumentation, but by its evasion of the consciousness. Whole swathes of Logos are blurred and indistinct - technically melodic, hooky songs treated and delivered in such a way that they all but self-negate, leaving nothing but fleeting impressions: the winsome viola that arrives in ‘Attic Lights’, just as Cox mutters ”maximum pain, maximum effect”; the gay singer’s unsettling yearning for traditional marriage on ‘Sheila’ ("we’ll die alone, together"); the barely discernible mantra ”all is love” that briefly ghosts through ‘Washington School’.

  This might sound like a way of romanticising an unmemorable album, but that's far from the case. These songs are bunched together into two dreamy, fog-like passages that serve as a backdrop for a handful of the most tangible tunes Cox has ever written, soaring atmospherically above the misty dreampop. Opener ‘The Light That Failed’ roots itself in the consciousness through eerily torpid glitching, Cox’s disconcerting use of something approaching a falsetto, and the doomy langour of its titular lyric. It sets up an album that frequently drifts into disquieting areas, yet never quite follows through on this early moment of dread. Indeed, delightful Panda Bear hook up ‘Walkabout’ serves as definitive proof that the light hasn't failed at all. While much of Cox’s early pop obsession speaks of a desire to creep out of the now entirely, ‘Walkabout’ is far more tangible and good natured, thanks largely to Panda Bear’s high, comforting tones and the appropriation of the hook from actual vintage Sixties pop gem ‘What Am I Going To Do?’ by The Dovers. Ironically for a song built around a 40-year-old tune, nothing, else on Logos has ‘Walkabout’s immediacy, though the excellent title track comes close, a rattling Strokes-alike number slightly removed from the world by Cox’s arsenal of floaty FX.

  As we’ve known ever since last year’s leak of the Logos demos, the centrepiece is the eight and a half minute, wholly electronic ‘Quick Canal’. Though tamed a little from the leaked 13 minute instrumental, this more mannered, Laetitia Sadier-sung incarnation is a better fit here, and still towers above the skyline. The Stereolab singer adds an inescapably Enya-ish quality to the gentle early stages, but by the time the song’s swooshing, snowy motorik has kicked into full gear she fits in immaculately, an aloof Old World passenger on a song charged with haughty European electronica. It perhaps doesn’t sound so jaw-dropping as it did in isolation, but a lot of that can be attributed to an intentional effect of the surroundings. Those short, subliminal songs serving to filter away reality and focus, like half remembered dreams that leaves the senses baffled and feverish.

  Logos is a gorgeous, hallucinatory and somewhat sickly outing. While there's every chance he'll wrong foot us, and soon, this record is entirely in keeping with the increasingly self-erasing route Bradford Cox has taken as a musician; it's hard to stifle a shudder at that blanked out cover image. Maybe Cox will go on to be a star next decade - he's a gregarious, prolific man liked by critics. But listen to his music, and that doesn't feel quite right. Maybe he'll become an icon. Or maybe he’ll finally make his escape from our timestream entirely, leaving us to wonder if he was ever there at all.

   4) Much like Starbucks, Bradford Cox has become a ubiquitous presence. What with his work with art-rock outfit Deerhunter, his involvement in Karen O’s official soundtrack for Where The Wild Things Are, and now this, his second solo offering under the Atlas Sound banner, you’d be forgiven for thinking that such familiarity will start to breed contempt. But you’d be way off the mark.

  There are two things you should know about this unlikely lo-fi hero of gangly deportment (he has Marfan Syndrome, a genetic disorder that stretches his limbs and strains his heart) and a girlish speaking voice (the affliction for this is yet uncertain). Firstly, it is impossible to dislike him (just see Wayne Coyne’s spoof argument with him on YouTube, branding Cox a “dick”). Secondly, his creative output has proved him to be one of – if not the – most forward-thinking and inspiring musicians of our generation.

  So, as Cox takes time out from Deerhunter, along comes ‘Logos’. Less of an experimental minefield than its predecessor, ‘Let The Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel’, it sees Cox weave in and out of dream-like sequences, such as the sombre ‘The Light That Failed’ and ‘Quick Canal’, the latter featuring the sweetly masculine vocal of [a]Stereolab[/a]’s Laetitia Sadier; while ‘An Orchid’ pitches in as the aural equivalent of a David Lynch storyboard, guided along with looped noises and whimsical vocals.

  It’d be easy to overlook Cox’s lyrics when the soundscapes are this rich and ornate, but there’s a delicate exploration of the most human of sensibilities and yearnings on ‘Logos’. He opens up the emotional vaults on ‘Sheila’, pining softly that “no-one wants to die alone… we’ll die alone together”. Likewise with ‘My Halo’, where Cox reveals “My halo burned a hole in the sky/My halo burned a hole in the ground… so I wait for polarity to change”. There’s much warmth and playfulness to be found here too, the unfeigned honesty and childlish desires expressed on ‘Walkabout’ – featuring the falsetto of [a]Animal Collective[/a]’s Noah Lennox – with its lyric “What did you want to see?/What did you want to be when you grew up?” being a case in point.

  Cox may have tagged Atlas Sound as just another side-project, but ‘Logos’ is a clear indication that his solo creative output is just as richly rewarding as what came before.

   5) For a project originally started as a way for Deerhunter frontman Bradford Cox to give a voice to his despairing isolation (he records completely alone) as a teenager, Atlas Sound is starting to sound like an arena-filling, widescreen pop project. Logos, Cox’s second proper solo album, takes the dense, gray worlds of Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See, But Cannot Feel and puts them through a rainbow, delivering a splendid album.

  If there’s one word to describe Logos, it’s “watery.” And in that regard, Logos shares a lot in common with Merriweather Post Pavilion (and Deerhunter’s Rainwater Cassette Exchange from earlier this year). Both albums trade in dreamy avant-pop landscapes buoyed by soggy atmospherics. “Criminals” sways like a shipping vessel in choppy seas, while the album’s great closing third (“My Halo” through the title track) sounds like it was transmitted from that underwater base in the third season of Lost. Cox is still reliant on the general ambiance that envelops his solo work, but here he’s willing to let his vocals float above the mix. And while musically this is brighter, he’s still all Debbie Downer. Old standby lyrical tropes of growing old (on “Sheila” Cox sings “we will grow old” like he’s reassuring someone else), loneliness (“Attic Lights”) and lost hope (“The Light that Failed”) show up repeatedly, and he still sounds like he’s on his deathbed when he sings.

  But for an album created largely by one guy alone in his room, the guest performances shine the most on Logos. Stereolab’s  Lætitia Sadier wrote the lyrics for “Quick Canal,” a sprawling, shoegazey track that never loses its motorik motion, peaking repeatedly in its eight minutes. The bubbly “Walkabout,” the high-profile track with Animal Collective’s Panda Bear lives up to all the hypertext spilled about it this summer, delivering the best of both Panda Bear’s effervescent youthful innocence and Cox’s wistful yearning.

  Logos, while just the second solo album from the frontman for a band of marginal fame, represents the latest and greatest chapter in Cox’s ride to indie stardom. He rose to prominence mid-decade as a confrontational trickster riding blog-hype (circa Cryptograms), continuing with a solo album to build his brand (Let the Blind), an indie-rock masterwork (Microcastle) and a solo album of nearly as high repute (Logos). As for what’s next, Cox has remained mum (though Deerhunter might be taking a hiatus), but with Logos, he ensures we’ll all be waiting.