#it was completely unsolicited advice too

[athenasdragon]

To the airline stewardess who told me to try putting a lime wedge in cranberry juice: you changed my life for the better and I will never forget you

[bibiana112]

Everyone's always so mad over unsolicited criticism but you know what makes me furious? Unsolicited comfort. Me simply not expressing myself the same way as you is not a sign that I'm depressed and in desperate need for you to come to my rescue, it is not an invitation for you to act like my one pillar of reliability or to act like my friend when you do not know my life, do not know wether I do have support, do not know I chose to be in this position you feel so uncomfortable looking at and on god you just don't get to pity me for living my fucking life the way I want to

[gojonanami]

❝ 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ❞

❝ PROF GETO BROKE YOUR HEART & NOW YUTA IS HOT ?? ❞

✧ pairing: prof!suguru geto x f!reader (& grad student! yuta x f!reader)

✧ summary: after suguru leaves you broken hearted, yuta's there for you when you're putting your heart back together, and he's not sure when or if he even wants you to tell you how you feel. but what happens when you start to realize your feelings?

✧ warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut , fluff, angst, depictions of student/teacher relationship (only ok in fiction not irl!!!), reader and yuta are grad students, but age is vague, dealing with a breakup, fingering (f! receiving), handjob (m! receiving), oral (f! + m! receiving), sex (p in v), creampie, amateur's take on moral philsophy and ethics, art by @ / polariae (who is incredible and everyone should go follow them now!!)

✧ wc: 12,464

Yuta felt as if he was always running late — for everything. 

He had transferred into this university a year into his schooling, he was always running late to meetings, and he was too late when he fell for you. 

But he seemed to have good timing in this moment — as he ran into you, as why was it he could always find you effortlessly without trying, but there was no smile on your lips when you met his gaze, but only tears — if only so he could comfort you. 

He says your name, as he stops you gently, fingers brushing against your shoulders, as your gaze falls to the ground, “What happened? Are you—” 

“Yuta, I’m sorry, I have to go—” but he stops you for a moment. 

“If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s completely fine, but can I call someone?” he says gently, he could see the tears slipping off your cheeks, even as you attempted to wipe them away, “I don’t think you should be alone—” 

And then you’re hugging him, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I shouldn’t—but I—” 

His arms go around you gently, “It’s okay, don’t apologize, I’m here for you,” and he doesn’t know what else to do but stand there with you, as curious gazes of passersby watched the two of you, “come on, let’s go somewhere more private.” 

~~~

When had he fallen for you? It was hard to say, but apparently easy to see. 

“So did you tell her you like her?” And Yuta nearly spits his drink out when Maki asks him that after one of the student government meetings. She sipped at the can of black coffee, nonchalantly, her eyebrows raised at his sputtering. He wipes his mouth, a slight glare in his gaze, “based on that reaction, I would say no,” 

“What are you talking—“ and your name leaves Maki’s lips, and his cheeks flush, ears burning, as he presses his knuckles to his lips, unable to meet her gaze, “was it that obvious?” 

“To a person with eyes,” and his gaze snaps to her, a question on his lips, “no, she doesn’t know,” 

Yuta slumps back in the chair he was sitting in, as he sets his drink down on the round table, “how can I tell her? She has a boyfriend,” 

“One that she doesn’t even see that often,” Maki leans back in her chair, “I’ll give you some unsolicited advice, Yuta — if you keep having these feelings and don’t do anything about it, you’ll regret it,” 

But how could he do anything when he already knew you were struggling? It wasn’t enough that your boyfriend was far away, but he didn’t seem to make time to come see you — even on your birthday — but to push his feelings on you on top of that. It wasn’t fair. 

So he had to settle on being your friend, just your friend. 

“What happened?” He asks again when the two of you get to a secluded corner of campus, a bench far enough away, as you sniffled, wiping your tears and murmuring apologies, “you don’t have to talk about it—“ 

And you shake your head, “My boyfriend, he, uh, broke up with me,” and he stares at you — your voice wavering as you speak, “I just, didn’t expect that to, you know—“ 

Yuta tilts his head, speaking softly, “Why don’t I take you back to your apartment?” 

So he does, taking the quick metro ride there, as your fingers brush his as the two of you walk beside each other. The silence hangs as comfortably as it can, your eyes straight ahead, as he sneaks glances at you. He wants nothing more than to take your hand, to tell you it would be okay, but he couldn’t — he didn’t want to overstep. It had already been hard enough to contain his feelings when you were with someone — and now that you weren’t — he wanted nothing more than to love you as you deserved to be loved. 

But it wasn’t his love you wanted — and it wasn’t what you needed either. 

You needed a friend, not a lover, more than ever. 

“Thank you for bringing me home, Yuta,” you mumble, shaking your head, “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess — I’m not being—“ 

“You don’t have to be anything, you’re fine,” he says softly, as you fumble with your keys, “do you want company?” 

You give a terse chuckle, as you unlock the door, “I’m not the best company right now, Yuta,” 

And he could have told you that you were the company he always wanted, the company he never would say no to — good or bad — but he couldn’t. So he said something else. 

“Then I guess I’ll have to make up for it by being very good company,” and you give a watery laugh, shaking your head, as you hesitate, glancing over your shoulder. 

“Are you sure?” And he only steps past you into your apartment, as he smiles. 

“Come on, I’ll order us dinner and you can put on an…interesting movie again,” and your lips quirk up as you step past him into the apartment. 

He couldn’t be more than a friend — not now — but maybe at some point. But he would be happy to just be in your life. 

That was enough. 

~~~

He wasn’t enough, Suguru sat in the train, the sun long set on Tokyo as he watched the city fade into the distance — as he leaned his face against the glass of the window. He had taken a late train back to Kyoto — one of the last — he could have taken an earlier one, but he had lost track of time. 

How long did he stand there? 

It felt like hours — minutes had ticked by as such, but he knew it was long enough for him to miss several trains by the time he had left for the station. It was long enough that he saw you disappear in the distance, Yuta assumedly in tow. 

It was right — it was what was necessary. That’s what he told himself as he watched the scenery move past him in seconds, but it felt as if time had stood still. He could hear the soft snores and quiet murmuring of the sparse passengers among the train, the footsteps of others as they walked up and down the aisle, and the steady shudder of the train as it ran along to its destination. But still, it felt as if he was still trapped behind glass in that moment, he watched himself drop your heart, watched it shatter beneath his feet, and he didn’t go after you. 

Why didn’t go after you? 

He asked himself again and again — but the only answer amongst the buzzing white noise that had only served to numb his mind to the pain was that it was necessary. 

He had always known you had a bright future — you could anywhere, lecture overseas, do fellowships or a Phd program, or even become a professor elsewhere. But when he had spoke to Yaga, it had solidified in his mind even more so — he wasn’t giving you what you needed and he was holding you back while he was at it. 

And the worse part was he knew you would never blame him — not for a minute. You would try to make it work. Long distance, giving opportunities up, or even choosing him over yourself. And he couldn’t abide letting you give up what you wanted for him — even if it wasn’t what you would have chosen. Because he knew you would always choose him. 

So he had to be the one to choose you. 

He needed to leave you behind, just as he had left Tokyo. He had made his choice, and now he had to live with it — and live without you. 

It was necessary. It was right — he shut his eyes, leaning against the window beside his seat, tears burning at the corners, as a tear rolled past hidden behind his hand  — so why did it feel so wrong to be without you? 

~~~

You didn’t want to wake up.  

You pulled the comforter over your head, finding refuge underneath the plush duvet, and wondering if it was possible to stay under here long enough for your problems to disappear. But you knew the pain would remain, but even so, you sought the sweet escape of sleep — if only for a few hours, you didn’t have to feel this heartache, you didn’t have to remember this. 

You didn’t have to remember him. 

And then there’s a knock on your door, a persistent knock that draws you from the arms of your only oasis under your sheets, and you drag yourself from bed, your eyes aching from your tears from last night. 

Fuck, you rubbed at your eyes. You glanced at the couch, finding no one there — when did Yuta leave last night? You couldn’t remember — and you’re dead on your feet as you find your way to the door, opening it without a thought. 

And your breath caught.  

“Suguru?” you stared, as he stood in front of you, bouquet of flowers in hand. You stumbled over your words as gracefully as you had gotten out of bed, as his arms wrapped around you. You stood motionless for a moment before melting into his touch, tears burning at your eyes yet again, “what are you doing here? Why—“ 

“What do you mean?” he murmurs, running his fingers through his hair, “you know I can’t stand to spend more than a few hours away from you,” and you’re burying your face in his chest, biting back the urge to sob then and there. 

You kept your tone as even as you can manage as you pull away, “Suguru, you said—“ 

“I know I’m early, but we can just spend some time together before we head out—“ 

And you’re shaking your head, “Head out where?” 

He furrows his brow in confusion, a chuckle escaping his lips, “Did you forget? You’re the one who insisted that we should be early — you kept saying we couldn’t be late,”

“To what?” 

“Our engagement party,” he takes your hand gently intertwining your fingers to show you the ring you wore — and you’re staring at it, as he presses sweet kisses to each of your knuckles, “now shouldn’t you get ready? Or are you the one who’ll make us late?” 

“Suguru—“ and his lips find yours in a gentle kiss, warmth blooming from his touch alone, your fingers finding purchase on his shoulder. For a second, it’s real and it’s right — Suguru has found his way back to you. 

Right? 

And his lips part from yours, his fingers brushing your cheek, “I love you,” he murmurs, saying your name again and again and—

A hand brushes your shoulder and you jolt awake, your hand slapping whatever had touched you away, as your fingers grasped at your comforter. You blinked, as your breath slowed, and you had found yourself in bed—

Again. 

And another mutter of your name snaps your gaze up to find Yuta standing a foot from your bedside now, his brow wrinkled, holding his hand in the other—

Fuck. 

“Oh my god, Yuta, I’m sorry — I was having a—“ you cut off a moment, you didn’t know whether to call it a dream or a nightmare, “just, I’m sorry,” you cover your face with your hands, “I barely remember getting into bed last night,” 

He waves you off, “It’s ok, I know you had a rough night,” he offers a small smile, “I had to help you into bed — you were a little out of it, so I just stayed on the couch,” 

You groan, wishing you could burrow into the Earth and never emerge, “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again—I’m sorry I made you stay—“ 

“You don’t have to apologize,” he says softly, “I’m your friend — I’m here for you,” and you swallow, tears burning at your eyes again, “s-sorry, did I?” 

And you shake your head before slipping out of bed and hugging him, “Thank you, Yuta, really,” and he wrapped his arms around you tentatively, “I think you’re my best friend,” 

You were so lucky to have him — especially when you needed someone the most. 

“Of course,” he murmured, and you didn’t not know his heart was aching ever so slightly, “you’re mine too.” 

~~~

“Do you want to talk about what happened with…your boyfriend?” Yuta knew the only way you would be able to heal is by talking about it — and that’s the one thing you had avoided doing all weekend. Sure you talked — but about the movies you were watching, about classes, about anything — then what had happened.

You hadn’t brought it up since that morning, you had washed up and it was as if he had imagined what had happened. You made breakfast, you put on a movie, and you joked about his allegedly questionable restaurant choices. But not a word about your dream or about your breakup. 

But he knew he had to ask. 

You were just coming off laughing at something that had happened in the rom-com you had switched on, and your lips fell into a seamless frown, as if the facade of happiness melted off with his words. 

Your gaze falls, arms tightening around the cushion in your lap, a bitter chuckle falling from your lips, “does anyone ever want to talk about their breakup?” 

He furrows his brow, “Bottling it up won’t help you heal from it — the only way is to let it out, and I can’t tell you what to do but—“ he bites his bottom lip, your eyes never lifting to meet his, “I know you need to let it out, one way or another,” 

You pause a moment, as you press your face against the cushion, “It hurts too much, Yu, I don’t know if I can,” 

“It doesn’t have to be now, I just want you to—“ 

“We were long distance,” and he’s opening his mouth to cut you off, but you shake your head, “you’re right — if I don’t talk about it now, I never will,” 

So you told him. Told him how you both had gotten together right before your boyfriend had received a job offer that required him to move, how the two of you decided to date regardless, and how you continued to be long distance even after he started. 

“It just got harder to see each other, and he ran late on my birthday but I didn’t care—“ and Yuta tilts his head, “I mean, I did care — but I knew it was temporary. I was going to graduate and move to be with him—“ and your nails dig into the soft fabric of the cushion, “but it didn’t matter. He thought it was for the best — for my best interest — that we break up,” 

He furrows his brow. This, the crying and heartache, was for your best interest? “Why—“ 

“Because he thought I was limiting my options, that he wasn’t a good enough boyfriend — one that I deserved,” you shake your head, tossing the cushion aside on the couch, “but he didn’t understand — I just wanted him—I knew it would be different when we were together—“ your voice breaks, “but he didn’t want to wait.” 

Yuta lets you talk and lets you rant and cry — until you’re asleep after lunch, taking a nap on the couch beside him. And he wonders if this is helping, but at least you’re sleeping now — he spotted the bags under your eyes when he saw you wake in the morning — as if you had spent the entire night tossing and turning. 

Was this okay for him? He wasn’t expecting anything — aside from your friendship. He didn’t think you were going to wake up and fall in love only because he did what a friend should do. But was it okay for him to be here? 

Because he couldn’t quash the little bit of hope that inched its way into the crevice of his heart that maybe you’d heal from this — maybe you would be able to get over this and you’d see him, as more than a friend or a best friend. He wanted to think he would do this even if he didn’t have feelings for you — it would probably be easier if he didn’t. 

But the facts stand that his motivation was corrupt — he chuckled, fuck, even the philosophy you had dosed him with, during your meals and student government meetings, was infecting his mind. Motivation mattered — because if you know or expect a reward from doing something, no matter how hard you try, your motivation will always be just that,

And his eyes slide to you — fast asleep as he grabs the throw blanket on your couch and gently places it over you — but he wouldn’t mind being corrupt, if it meant he could stay with you. 

~~~

“She broke up with her boyfriend?” Maki raises an eyebrow, placing her drink down, “and you still haven’t told her?” Maki’s judgment pierced through Yuta, even as he couldn’t quite meet her gaze, biting his lip, “what are you waiting for? For her to get back together with him?” 

“Maki, I can’t make a move so soon—she’s vulnerable—“ 

She sighs, leaning back, as she crosses her arms, “Well, you’re a good guy for that, but you need to do something, even if it’s not confessing. You should try spending more time with her, encourage her to open up more—“ 

“I don’t know — I don’t want to overstep—“ 

“Yuta,” Maki cuts him off, “you’re a good guy and you deserve to be happy — you spend a lot of time worrying about other people, and not enough time thinking about yourself. If she’s not ready right now that’s fine, but she might not realize she’s ready until someone helps her to,” she tilts her head, her fingers beginning to toy with the straw of her drink, “I just don’t want to see you regret hesitating,” 

Yuta’s phone went off — your name flashing on the screen, hey, are you free to hang out and watch a movie tonight? Finally finished working on my thesis proposal for the night! 

Maki glances at his phone, raising an eyebrow, “just don’t wait too long, “or you may end up alone, either way.” 

~~~

“I told you we should have gotten dumplings tonight,” you grumble, as the two of you take your takeout back to your apartment, the sun beginning to dip below the horizon, “I can’t believe the sushi place was closed,” you pout. 

And Yuta bites back a smile — his cheeks burn — god, you’re so cute. It wasn’t fair. He knew you were just mostly teasing — only so you could have the pick of the movie tonight — which you knew he’d give you anyway. 

The two of you had settled into these weekly movie nights on Fridays, which had a 70% chance of devolving into a weekend of hangouts amidst work for your programs. It had been weeks since your breakup — and your sadness seemed to ebb with each passing day, normalcy seemingly returning. 

“We could have gone there—“ and you give a long, over dramatic sigh, shaking your head. 

“It’s fine, but if this food sucks, I will be holding this over your head,” you bump him with your shoulder, a smile on Yuta’s lips, and right then someone calls out Yuta’s name. The two of you glance back, and Yuta blinks as he spots his friends. 

“Toge, Panda,” Yuta greets them, Toge’s hands raise as he begins to sign— 

Hey, who’s your friend?

Yuta replies, before gesturing to you, introducing you by name, “we’re just headed back to watch a movie—“ and he points from the shorter one to the taller one, “this is Toge and Panda,” Panda flashes a knowing smile, adjusting his leather jacket, head tilting as he gives you a small once over. Toge’s lips are covered with his face mask, his dyed silver hair brushing against his forehead — 

Panda grins between the two of you, “Ah it’s good to meet you — I heard about you from Yuta, and Maki," he adds, while Yuta shoots him a look that he hopes that you don’t notice, “how’s the work in student government? I hope Maki isn’t working you too hard,” but you seem oblivious to it, only smiling between the two of them. 

“No it hasn’t been bad, and Yuta has made it really easy. He’s been a really big help—“ and Panda before leaning over to whisper in Yuta’s ear. 

“You have a chance with her, don’t mess it up,” Panda’s elbowing him, before clapping him on the back, his arm slinking around his shoulders, while Yuta tries to will his blush to leave his cheeks, “well we should let them get going, right, Toge?” and Toge nods, and Yuta only knows Toge has a smile hidden under his mask as well, flashing a thumbs up out of your line of sight, while you glance between Yuta and Panda, “you two love birds have fun!” 

And Yuta stammered, “We’re not together like that,” he’s shooting a glare at Panda’s back as the two of them walk off, waving. And his eyes snuck a glance at you, but you seemed unfazed, only tilting your head — and shit, his head was spinning, heart doing its best to exit via his chest by banging against his ribs. Did you know? Was it obvious? Was this it? 

“I didn’t know you knew sign language,” 

And apparently it wasn’t. 

“Uh, yeah, yeah, I learned when I met Toge in high school,” he offers a forced smile — but relief isn’t the only thing that floods his system, disappointment comes in waves — because again, here he was, right back at the start. 

The two of you continued to chat on the walk back to your apartment, his fingers curled tightly around the handles of the takeout bag as you pulled out your keys, wondering how many more times would he do this — how many more times would he think you realized his feelings only for it to remain unspoken? He was more than okay to stay your friend, but — he watched you open the door to your apartment — would he regret not taking a shot at being something more? 

And as you glanced back at him, a smile on your lips, he knew he would. 

~~~

You didn’t think it would — but it had gotten easier, easier to be without Suguru. 

There were days you still had woken up crying, there were other days you had almost forgotten.  

Almost. 

But now in hindsight, adjusting to life without Suguru hadn’t been much different than being with him the last few months. Not when the two of you had barely seen each other. You had put away his things, tucked away the memories, and picked up the scattered parts of your life —even though you couldn’t find the piece he had taken with him. 

But even so, you had finally felt as if you boarded up the love the two of you had built, one that he had set on fire and burnt the insides to nothing but ash and smoke — the same fire that had you coughing up the broken pieces of your heart — throat burning with his name on the tip of your tongue. 

Even so — your fingers found the dragon pendant under your shirt, some things were harder to let go than others. 

But it shouldn’t be hard, right? Love shouldn’t present so many obstacles — it should be simple, easy — not difficult and tenuous. And that’s all your relationship had been — only due to circumstance, but sometimes that was enough. 

And in your case, it had been too much.  

But you knew you couldn’t have made it through without Yuta. Your eyes slide to him, his face illuminated only by the glow of the TV — lights turned off for the best movie night experience. Or at least not as quickly as you did. He was leaning back against the couch, his head leaning towards your side. 

You bite your lip. Your mind wanders to what Panda had said — love birds — it hadn’t been the first time someone had commented on the two of you together. How many of your friends had made some comments about Yuta, even the ones in student government (Maki in particular had been dropping not so subtle hints)? How many of them had you brushed off without a second thought? 

But now — ever so conscious of his weight beside you on the couch, of every twitch of his fingers, shift of his limbs — you had second thoughts. 

You had tried your best to play off Panda’s comment, and Yuta did the same, the two of you had grown used to dancing around this topic. And before you hadn’t thought of Yuta that way in the slightest— not with everything going on — not with your mind still full of Suguru. 

But now…His eyes softly lit by the bouncing lights of the movie, until they found yours, and somehow growing even softer, as his lips curled. 

“Need something?” When was it that Yuta could make your heart flutter with only a smile? He was a friend — right? Just a friend, but now—

He leans over, your heart squeezing as he does — your eyes nearly fluttering shut, his hand brushing your cheek, only for the barest of touches. And your cheeks burned in the dim light of the TV. 

“You had something on your cheek,” he explains, and you nod, biting your lip — as you snap your gaze away, and a small chuckle on his lips, “What is it?”

What was it about him now? His smile was just a smile, his eyes were just eyes, and his presence was only comfort. And now — his smile made your stomach bloom with butterflies, his eyes were depths you wished to swim in, and his presence gave you comfort but in the loneliest of ways — the gap between you both a cliff you stared down, unable to jump. 

So you shake your head instead, “It’s nothing,” you smile as you press your knuckles to your lips. 

Maybe your head was full of someone else for once. 

~~~

“Do you want to grab dinner tonight?” You ask Yuta — a routine for most other weeknights, as you grabbed your bag, as you wait for him outside the conference room as the student government meeting ended for another week, “I heard this new restaurant opened up near my apartment, and we could hang out at my place after—“ 

“I—“ 

“Yuta?” A cute girl comes up to Yuta, and he smiles as he greets her, she pulls Yuta aside, as he chats with her just out of earshot, her hand grazing his shoulder. 

And your stomach turns, a twinge in your heart as you watch the two — you don’t remember Yuta mentioning her, but then again, Yuta rarely talked about himself, even when you asked. It was like pulling teeth — and now here he was. Now, he was smiling at a girl you knew nothing about. 

What was this feeling? You shifted from foot to foot, restlessness settling over your body as you purse your lips as if to prevent unnecessary words from spilling from your lips. Why did you feel so...helpless? Your arms crossed over your chest as if that would hold you together — keep your heart from falling back into the pieces you had meticulously put back together. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

You watched them talk, as the girl finally seemingly said her goodbye and flashed a small smile your way before disappearing down the hallway. 

“Sorry,” Yuta walks back over, a smile on his lips, but you knew that smile wasn’t for you. Not like before, “yeah let’s grab dinner,” 

And you weren’t the same either—

“You have nothing to apologize for,” you force your lips to curl, as you walk past him, “let’s go,” 

—because you were jealous.

~~~

“Yuta, have you thought about dating?'' Your question comes seemingly out of nowhere one night, right after midterms, and Yuta has to stop himself from spitting out the sip of his tea he had taken, forcing himself to swallow. It doesn’t go unnoticed by you, your eyebrow raising, “you good?” 

“Y-yeah sorry,” he clears his throat, hoping his cheeks weren’t flushed red from that, “why do you ask?” 

“I was just curious because we’ve talked a lot about my dating life, but nothing about yours,” it was late, or rather early—nearly 3 AM on a Saturday night, the two of you were half asleep on the couch, stuck in a stubborn battle of not wanting to sleep quite yet, “you don’t talk a lot about yourself,” 

“There’s not much to say,” he shrugs, and your raised brow tells him you’re not satisfied with his reply, he relents with a sigh, “there was a girl I liked when I was a kid — Rika, we met when I was in the hospital,” and your lips twist into a frown, “I was sick a lot when I was little, and that’s when I met Rika. She lived with her grandparents — her parents both had passed when she was even younger. We were inseparable—“ he gives a soft chuckle, “but then she…” his voice wavers. 

“You don’t have to—“ and he’s shaking his head. 

“We were playing and she went into the street to cross when a car sped by—“ and he shakes his head, “she didn’t make it,” your fingers knit together, before one of your hands finds his.

“You didn’t have to share that if you weren’t ready,” and he’s offering a weak smile, squeezing your hand. 

“I wanted to,” he sighs, as he rubs at his eye, “there’s not much I wouldn’t tell you,” and you supposed that was the difference between him and Suguru — communication that wasn’t limited, a conversation that wasn’t one sided, and honesty — without a price. 

“So there’s been no one else since Rika?” you tilt your head, and you swear you see a twinge of red across his cheeks, dusting his features even in the dim light. 

“Why are you asking?” he says slowly, it feels as if he’s caught you, as your gaze snaps away, a pout on your lips, as you press your knuckles to your lips — and it’s as if he got a hold of your thoughts, “is it because of Kirara earlier?” 

“Oh, that’s her name?” Yuta has to bite back a small smile at your narrowed eyes, unable to meet his gaze, “how do you—” 

“She’s a friend from high school — and she’s dating another old friend from high school,” he adds, and your eyes snap to his, “I don’t like her like that anyway — she’s just a good friend, and likes to give me unsolicited advice on my fashion sense,” 

Your lips curl, “Well you are a little basic in your—” and he cuts you off with a look, and you’re shifting your body to face him fully, “so if it’s not Kirara, you don’t have anyone in mind? Not even a crush?” 

Your question feels like an answer in and of itself — along with the look you’re giving him — the same one he had always given you, when you weren’t looking — longing. But what if he was wrong? What if he was projecting? But he could spend his whole time wondering, and never knowing — or he could take the leap. 

He chews on his bottom lip, and he steels himself, his gaze turning back to you, “and if I said there was?” 

Were you ready for this? Would you ever be ready for this? Suguru still lingered in the back of your mind collecting cobwebs, on the tip of your tongue like a curse unspoken — and yet your forefront was filled with nothing but Yuta — his kindness, his honesty, his straightforward nature — all things you hadn’t gotten from Suguru when it mattered, when it counted. And it would be easy — there would be no complications — other than the complications that always came with relationships and emotions. 

But that was far simpler than what you and Suguru had to deal with. 

“Then I’d ask you,” your fingers reaching across a line that was meant to be crossed, but one that perhaps you shouldn’t anyway, “what are you waiting for?” and your hand finds his — his hand smaller than the one you’re used to, but warmer and softer. 

“I don’t want to rush—” and you’re shaking your head, as your squeeze his hand, fingers laced together, as your thumb runs over his palm. 

“We don’t have to,” you murmur, your gaze finding his, and he’s leaning closer to you, as if with a magnetic pull — and you find yourself attracted and not repelled to his pull, “we can take our time, can’t we?” 

And his lips curl into a small smile, his dark eyes nearly consumed by the shadows underneath them, but somehow as soft as they always were — “Is this a dream?” he murmurs, whisper like, as if his words would ripple across the surface of reality until it disappeared within its depths, “I wanted to tell you for so long — but I didn’t know it if was too soon or if—” 

“I know,” it had been three months, three months since you had your heart broken, but you were tired of wallowing, of trying to put your heart back together by yourself — you may have filled in the cracks, but maybe you needed someone to cement the parts back into one — and maybe Yuta was the one, “and maybe it is, but I want to try,” you admit, “is that wrong?” 

And how could he say it was — when it was all he wanted?” 

“No,” his fingertips brush against your cheek, “maybe it’s just right.” 

~~~

He shifted in his sleep, a warm body pressed against him, his arms slinking around your own, your face buried in his neck in the best way he could imagine. Your fingers raked through his jet black locks, you pressed a sweet kiss to his neck, and a soft groan left his lips. 

“Baby, finally awake?” your lips press a smile against his skin, your finger drawing a circle against his chest, “we have to get up soon, we’ll be late,” you murmur, “and I know how you feel about being late,” your nose brushes against his jumping pulse, “Sugu?” 

Suguru groans softly, burying his face in your hair, “Five more minutes,” and you chuckle against him, his favorite sound that graces his ears, his eyes fluttering shut again, as he surrounds himself in your scent — the notes of lavender and rosemary from your shampoo, “just want to spend a few more minutes with you, sweetheart — I need you,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 

You hum, rubbing his head softly, fingers curling around one of the locks of his hair, “I don’t recall you gracing me with five minutes when I was late on that first day,” 

He groans, shifting only to bury himself in your chest, pressing soft kisses to the valley between your breasts, nose pressed against the hollow of your throat, the cold metal of the dragon pendant against his cheek, “I wasn’t your boyfriend then,” he’s leaning back only to press a sweet kiss to your lips, again and again — it always felt so right being with you. 

“But you’re not my boyfriend now,” and he pauses, before glancing up at you, your eyes glassy with tears, “remember?” your fingers ghosted over his cheek. 

RING. RING. RING. 

His eyes don’t bother to open as he reaches for his phone, turning off the ringer, before his hand reaches for you, only to find an empty space beside him. He flutters his eyes open, glancing over, and finds your absence beside him. 

It had been months, but you still haunted him—and he would spend the rest of his life running from the ghost of what could have been—and pretending it doesn’t hurt. 

He turns on his side to look away from your side of the bed — even though it still did.

~~~

You stared at the outfits laid out on the bed — practically your entire closet threw up your complete wardrobe, and even so, you couldn’t find a single thing you wanted to wear. Or rather— 

You tossed another blouse onto the pile— you couldn’t find a single thing that didn’t remind you of Suguru. One of these he had said brought out your eyes, the other he had picked out for you, and the other he had taken you out on your one month anniversary for a surprise date. 

There were too many memories — and too many that you didn’t care to relive. Especially today, as your phone goes off — I’ll be on my way over soon. Are you almost ready? 

Fuck. Yuta was on his way almost and you hadn’t even finished picking an outfit. 

By almost ready, do you mean not ready at all? You bite your lip, I know it’s silly but I can’t decide what to wear. 

You dig two outfits out of the bottom of the pile — and stare at them — you didn’t like to wear new outfits on a first date, but maybe this would be a fresh start for you. One where you could leave behind some of the memories tied around your ankles like anchors, dragging you down the depths of waters you didn’t want to explore any longer. 

Your phone goes off again — You’d look amazing in anything — I’ll be there soon. 

Your lips curl at the sight of his text — you choose a dress, tugging your shirt over your head and your shorts down, before pulling the dress down. And you adjust your hair in the mirror, before looking closely at yourself — a glint catching your eyes. 

Your fingers ghost over the dragon pendant — you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to take it off. But maybe it was time — and your hands reach around unclasping the chain before placing it in the palm of your hand. 

Your fingertip traces over the rainbow colored gems — and he wondered if he even still thought of you like you thought of him. It was so easy for him to leave — so did he put you out of his mind while he was at it? You held the necklace over the trash bin next to your vanity — your fingers squeezing at the chain and pendant, as it dug into your skin — should you toss it away like he had with you? 

No —you pulled your hand back — no, you couldn’t. You placed the necklace in the box it came in, tucking it away behind some things. 

You heard your phone go off again, as you spared one last glance at the vanity, where the box was hidden away— 

Because it still meant something to you. Even if it didn’t to him. 

~~~

“You complain about my movies, but the one you chose was much worse,” you say as you unlock your apartment, “that plot line made little to no sense,” 

“If you suspend your disbelief—“ 

You stop, your key hanging from your door, as you stare at him, “I can believe that supernatural powers exist in that universe, but why would the universe entrust these powers to the stupidest people alive?” He snorts, as you continue unlocking the door, as you spare a glance at Yuta who is still fidgeting near your doorway, “you gonna come in?” 

“I-well, I thought since this our first date, maybe I shouldn’t since you wouldn’t do that one a first date,” and you blink, your lips curling, as you watch him trip over his words, cheeks tinged pink, “not that anything would happen if I did come in—but—“ 

You step closer, silencing his words, seemingly stuck in his throat, “You really thought a lot about this, haven’t you?” and your fingers brush his, slowly intertwining with his as you bridge the gap, “I really appreciate it,” 

He bites his lip, eyes sliding sideways, as he does, before he’s tilting his head again, “I just don’t want you rush into anything, and I don’t want us to still feel like—” 

“Just friends I know,” you smile, “well then why don’t we leave it here for tonight, but call me when you get home?” He slowly nods, but he still isn’t leaving, “Yuta?” 

And he steps a little closer, your breath catches, stuck in your lungs, as your chest squeezes when his fingers find your cheek, “Can I kiss you?” And your answer comes before you know it as you nod wordlessly. 

His lips curl into a smile, as he leans closer and your noses bump, a small chuckle escaping your lips before his lips find yours. 

It’s chaste, at first, until his lips find yours in a firmer kiss. He tastes faintly of the salt and butter of the popcorn he just had, and you can feel him smile against your lips, before you both part. 

Your lips curl, “Well that is definitely something I never do with a friend,” 

“You sure?” He murmurs and you hum, as your foreheads press against the other’s, as your fingers intertwine and you tug him inside your apartment. 

“Maybe just the ones I really like.” 

~~~

“You look happy,” Maki notes, as Yuta shows up early to work on a project for student government — it had been a few days since their first date, and Yuta had just gotten a text from you asking if he was coming over tonight. His lips quirked upwards as he told you he’d be there after he finished his work, as his eyes flitted up to find Maki’s, “don’t tell me you actually got the balls to ask her—“ and his eyes won’t quite meet her own, a smile on his lips, “fuck, don’t tell me—” 

“We had our third date last night—” and he earns himself a hard punch to his shoulder, as he jolts, staring at Maki, “ow! Why—” 

“Three dates and you tell me now?” and Yuta’s rubbing his shoulder, as he frowns, “what’s with the face? My punch didn’t hurt that bad,” she takes a seat, and leans back in her chair, as she rifles through the paperwork, 

He shakes his head, “I wasn’t sure if I should be going around telling people — it’s new—” 

“Wouldn’t you be happy to talk about your relationship?” And he’s hesitating, and Maki’s chair legs clack against the floor as she leans forward again, “what are you so scared of still?” 

What was it that he was scared of? That it wouldn’t work out? That he’d lose you before he had even truly had you? That he’d hurt you? And it was true, he was scared of all of those things, but it wasn’t those things holding him back— 

“I saw the way she talked about her ex, the smile she had when she would come off talking about him,” he leans against his hand, elbow propped up on the table, “she always had this smile on her face — just this look that I don’t think I’ve ever seen her have with me—“ 

“A look doesn’t make or break a relationship, Okkotsu,” Maki says with a sigh, “and she was already in that relationship for who knows how long at that point?”

“I know, but—“ 

“I can’t tell you how to run your relationship but you have to decide whether you’re in this or not — because if you keep comparing yourself, you’ll never be happy,” and Yuta nods, before glancing at her, “what?” 

“How do you know so much about this?” Maki crosses her arms, a slight blush on her cheeks. 

“You’re not the only one with a social life—“ but she cuts him off before he can ask more questions, “but this is about you, not me,” she leans forward, “you need to focus on your relationship now, not her old one,” 

And he nods — he needed to trust you, otherwise this would never work with his head stuck in the past or looking into the future. Otherwise, this insecurity would seep like poison into his present — and he would lose you anyway. 

“You’re right, thanks Maki,” and his phone goes off again, another text from you — I miss you — come soon. 

Maybe he just needed to trust you — and himself. But even so, as he typed his reply to you — I’ll pick up dinner on the way. I’ll be back soon. Promise — but why was it so difficult? 

~~~ 

“Ah, Yu,” you murmured against his lips before swallowing your words completely, you were even prettier breathless than he had imagined. Well, more like than he had dreamt. He had resisted the urge to fantasize about you, thinking it would be disrespectful, crossing a line that wasn’t meant to be crossed. But that didn’t mean he could control his subconscious when he would slip into the embrace of sleep. 

He’d see you beside him on the couch, and you’d lean over and simply find his lips as if you’d done it a million times before. And he’d melt into your touch with such practiced ease, his fingers skimming over your sides, and he was desperate for more, more, more. He would only slide his hands up your thighs, fingertips brushing against the fabric of your panties before he’d wake in sweat soaked sheets and his cock straining against his boxers. 

This was so much better. 

It had started on the couch just like his dream, the two of you lying together, cuddling on the couch as the two of you half watched a movie. 

“Are you sleepy?” He asked softly, tucking a strand behind your ear, and you shake your head, as you shift closer to him, half of your body pressed against him. He did his best not to shift much, as you move even closer to him, nearly lying on top of him, “what—“ 

His breath catches as you lean closer, “can I—“ and he’s nodded without a second thought, as your lips found his, and his fingers found your hips. His tongue grazed the seam of your lips before slipping inside, and he eagerly steals your breath from your very lungs. And you’re moving, now lying squarely on top of him, your hips pressed against his, as his already hard cock throbs against your cunt. 

He bites back a moan when he feels just how wet you already are, soaking through your shorts and drenching  his sweatpants, “Fuck,” he murmurs, as your lips both part for a breath, as he cups your chin, only to press hot kisses to your burning skin, “baby, you taste so good,” 

And that’s where he found himself now. 

Your tiny gasps and murmurs of his name, as his lips explored what skin he could reach, while his hands slid up and down your body, now warm palms resting above your hips, toying with the hem of your shirt. 

“Yuta, please,” the whine in your throat makes the heat grow thicker been you two, the movie fading into but white noise, as he cards his fingers through your hair, “don’t tease me,” 

And he’s swallowing thickly, his dick twitching at the thought of taking this further — the two of you had done everything but this step, your hands had grazed under the other’s clothes, grinded against each other as you made out, but one of you would end up stopping it for one reason or another. It was a game of chicken, one or the other seemingly daring the other to take that step — but neither of you had. 

But now — as his thumb dragged over your puffy, kiss ruined lips, “Do you want to?” he asks an unspoken question, his resistance weakening to your touches, your fingers ghosting up his chest before one of your hands finds his cheek. 

“I do,” you answer, but bite your lip, “I’m just…a little nervous,” and his lips press a sweet kiss to your forehead. 

“We can always wait — I never want to make you feel uncomfortable, baby,” he’s featherlight in his touches now, “it’s up to you,” and it was — he would wait for you, as long as you wanted him. 

You smile at him, finding his lips in another kiss — he didn’t know it was possible for someone to be this soft, or feel this good — he could taste the sweetness of ice cream you had ate earlier on your lips, but you were so much better than any dessert. 

Your fingers rake gently through his hair, “Let’s move to the bedroom?” 

~~~

You wanted Yuta — you did. You had for the weeks the two of you had dated. It had been almost two months, and the two of you hadn’t had sex yet. There wasn’t a reason to rush, but there wasn’t a reason not to. The line had been edged to the brink of insanity — for the both of you. There was always seemingly a reason to stop — an early class, a late night, stomach upset — and it always felt like timing was just off. But it wasn’t always just the timing. 

It was also you. 

Every time you and Yuta got close, each time you felt even an ounce of pleasure, the guilt of Suguru would claw up your throat, again and again. And you were sure Yuta had noticed. But even if he had, you didn’t know a way to explain without making him think you were still in love with Suguru — which you weren’t. 

You didn’t think you were. The guilt lingered, like blood dried from a still open wound, scabbed over but not healed, easily reopened with even a scratch or a step. And it felt like with each step you took away from Suguru, you bled more and more — but you didn’t know how to stop the bleeding. You couldn’t stem the bleeding at its source, not when the person you had cut it open didn’t even give you a chance to speak. 

And you couldn’t talk to Yuta about it — not when you still hadn’t explained who Suguru is — and what exactly he does for work. Or much of anything else and you didn’t even know how to begin that conversation or why it would be necessary. Does he need to know all of that when you would be graduating soon enough and Suguru would be only a distant memory. 

But you hoped Yuta wouldn’t be. 

Your fingers laced with his as you led him to your bedroom — as you pull him inside, shutting the door behind you. You gently guide him onto your bed and have him sit while you stand, your fingers cupping his face, as his breath hitches at your proximity. His lips parted ever so slightly, as a pretty pink settled over his cheeks. 

“Baby, are you sure?” His lips are half twisting in a frown, eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips and back again, “I don’t want—“ 

And your lips find his in a soft kiss, pressing yourself between his legs, as your hands find purchase on his shoulders, “I want you, Yuta,” you murmur, you were tired of letting the past dictate your present — you wanted to move forward, “don’t you want me too?” And your lips ghost over his jaw up to his ear, as you whisper in it, while leaving kisses that make his body shiver, wondering if you’ve turned his blood to ice or made it turn to steam with how his skin burned. 

“You’re not playing fair” he mumbles, as he buries your face in the crook of your neck, and you laugh, your fingers skimming the back of his neck. 

“I’m here to win, we never said anything about fair,” you twirl the black locks resting against his neck, your lips press another kiss to his cheekbone, “you still haven’t answered my question—“

 “Of course I want you,” he looks up at you, his need like a spark catching fire on your body, “I always have,”

“Well I’m right here,” you murmur, you tilt his chin up, fingers threaded in his black locks, “what are you going to do about it?” 

~~~

Yuta was going to lose his mind — but it’s just as well, you already had his heart. 

At your words, he’s tugging you even closer as he moves back on the bed, gaze hot as he watches you move, sitting on his lap — knees on either side of his waist. Fuck, you felt so good against him, plush thighs pressing into his hands already sliding down your lower back and grazing your ass to press you impossibly closer. 

“Good boy,” you murmur, and his blood flees his cheeks to his cock, twitching against your clothed cunt, and you smirk, a giggle escaping your lips, “you like that, huh?” you breath against his ear, “my good boy,” 

And in an instant, you’re pinned under him, and you’re blinking up at him, smile exchanged for parted lips, as his hands slide up your sides, and he’s leaning down to kiss you. His mouth burns against yours, tongue teasing the seam of your lips, before they part for him. 

“Now who’s being good for who?” he murmurs, as he pulls back with your teeth catching his bottom lip between your teeth. He groans, grinding against you, the length of his cock grinding against your clothed slit, “you won't let me have a moment, can you?” He murmurs, a red flush on his cheeks that makes you grin. 

“Not as long as you’re with me, Yu,” and god, that nickname for him makes his head spin— it’s already so much — the picture of you spread so prettily for him, your thighs parted under him, shirt riding up, just asking for him to slide underneath, and your bodies pressed together in all of the right places, as if neither of you could get close enough. 

And apparently you couldn’t, as you guide his hands to the hem of your shirt, and you’re helping him pull it over your head before tossing it onto the floor. And he sees nothing underneath, your nipples pebbled and hard under his gaze, so pretty for him. 

When his fingers twitch, you chuckle, “touch me,” and your words melt away his reservations, as his hands find your breasts, warm palms squeezing and teasing the soft flesh. He leans down and presses a kiss to one of your pert nipples, his tongue flicking the pert bud, drawing a small gasp from your lips, a pretty noise he wants to make fall from your lips again and again. Your head falls back into your pillow, as he switches sides, teasing the one with his lips, while he rolls the other between his index and thumb. 

“Fuck, Yuta,” he smiles against you, as his lips begin to kiss down your body, starting with the valley of your breasts before trailing wet kisses down your stomach, until he reaches the waistband of your shorts. And his eyes are flicking up to meet yours to ask silently, and your nod is all it takes for his fingers to dip in and tug the thin fabric down your legs, fingers dragging along the dips and curves of your legs as he does. He bends down to steal kisses to your swell of your hips and the crown of your knee. 

“S’pretty,” he’s mumbling, as his eyes find the wet patch on your underwear, fabric messy and soaked through as it cling helplessly to your hard clit, “how are you this pretty, baby?” 

“All for you, sweet boy,” you’re murmuring, as you hiss when he’s teasing your clit through your panties, “Yu, fuck—“ he could cum just listening to you — he doesn’t know what he’ll do once he’s inside you—

But one step at a time. 

He’s leaning down to press a kiss to it, before he’s slipping two fingers into the elastic to tug it down, with a nod from you. He’s pressing kisses and nips to your inner thigh, relishing in the marks he leaves on you — ones that he and you would only see. And finally you’ve kicked your underwear off, fully bare for him. 

“How do you smell so sweet?” he’s whispering, as his eyes drag over your exposed folds, and a whimper escapes your lips, he can’t wait to make you moan. And he’s bending down to drag his tongue over your dripping cunt, a thick stripe that has you gasping, fingers winding their way into his black locks, nails digging deliciously into his scalp. 

And you taste even better than he imagined — so good that he's already lapping at your folds, tip of his tongue flicking over your clit — and he hears the wrinkle of the sheets as your toes curl into them. He’s rutting into your mattress, ready to cum in his boxers at how good your pussy feels — dick nearly bursting at the thought of having your cunt around him. 

“Fuck, baby,” you’re swearing under your breath, as your body tenses under his tongue, he begins to slurp at your juices. His hands find their way under the soft flesh of your thighs to tug you flush to his lips, “Yu, so good,” and all he can hear are the lewd sounds of his tongue buried in your pussy, working your walls open, pretty walls fluttering around him, “feel so good, ngh, ah—” your eyes find his, and it’s enough for him to blow his load then and there — eyes blown out with lust as they meet his own, your lips parted in lovely pants and moans. 

And he knows you’re close, can feel it in the way your walls shudder, and he’s burying himself in your cunt, fucking you open with his tongue while he rubs your clit in quick circles. 

“Yu, I’m cum—“ and you cut yourself off with a moan, back arching as you cum hard, his name on your lips, and he’s eating you out through your orgasm, greedily drinking every bit of release you give him. And it’s only when it’s too much, your body slightly shaking, as you gently pull at his hair, that he eases off. 

You watch him with half lidded eyes as he pulls away, still between your thighs — lips and chin glossy and drenched in your release. He licks his lips and chin clean, watching you come down from your high, fuck, the way your walls clench around nothing makes him want to bury his face back in your folds. 

“So good, Yu, s’good for me,” you’re panting, sweat slicked against your skin, as you’re gently tugging at him, and he obliges, keening at the praise as he slips up your body until your lips find his. You moan, tasting yourself on his lips, a sloppy, messy kiss that leaves him breathless. 

And you’re flipping you both over, his eyes dilating at the sight of you, eyes raking over his body, eager hands thumbing at the hem of his shirt. 

Your lips in a smirk that leaves his dick throbbing, “my turn, Yu, let me make you feel good,”your hands make quick work of his shirt, tugging it up and over, tossing it in the growing pile of clothes in the corner of your bedroom. 

Your lips press sweet kisses all over his chest, fingers teasing his chest, but you have bigger intentions in mind, as your fingers quickly find their way to the waistband of his sweatpants. And with a nod given, you’re deftly tugging it down with a raise of his hips to pull the fabric off and kicked away, leaving him only in his boxers. 

You bite your lip when you see the large wet patch from his pre, your fingers teasing his slit through the fabric, drawing a hiss from his lips. He swallows, watching your pretty lips bend down to press a kiss to his cock through the fabric. And it’s enough for him to lose his mind completely, “please,” he whimpers, and you smile down at him, dragging your thumb down his lips. 

“Please what?” you ask innocently, for someone whose fingers were grazing his erection the way they were, he swallows as he watches your finger trace up and down his clothes cock, “what do you want me to use? My hand? My mouth?” 

And he’s shaking his head, “Anything, just please I need—“ and your fingers dip into the elastic of his boxers, snapping it against his skin, a yelp escaping his lips that makes you giggle, “that’s not nice—“ and he’s gasping when your lips press a hot kiss to his hip, your eyes lidded with desire. 

“Who said I was nice?” 

~~~

You were going to be the death of him, and with the way your fingers tug down his boxers — finally freeing his cock, slapping against his stomach as it does — it would be a sweet death. 

“Didn’t know your cock was so pretty like the rest of you, Yu,” and it was, so long and thick, pearly precum dripping down his flushed length, veins that ran up and down the length that you were far too eager to trace, “can’t wait to taste you,” you’re murmuring, as your tongue flicks down against his slit. 

“B-baby, please,” his hand is covering his face, but you reach up to pry it away, seeing the lovely red that settled over his cheeks, lips parted in need as he painted, “please—“ 

And your fingers wrap around his dick, thumbing the slit and working the precum up and down his length. And he’s moaning your name on his lips again and again, as you kiss his tip sliding your fingers down to his base and squeezing. And when your lips part for him, sliding his length in your mouth, his head falls back against the pillows, eyes squeezed shut as he can’t help but roll his hips into your mouth. And when his tip brushes the back of your throat, it’s enough for him to cum right then and there, but he doesn’t want to — not yet, not until he’s inside you. 

He’s easing you off, watching strings of pre and your spit connect you to his aching cock, as you look up at him, and he’s pulling you into a messy kiss, tasting his own pre on your lips. 

“I need you,” he’s murmuring, fingers finding your hips, “baby, please,” 

You smile, parting from him, “how do you need me?” And he’s swallowing, cock twitching, and he knows he’s one stroke too fast from bursting — so he needs control. 

“Lie on the bed, baby,” and you do, easing from between his legs, and onto your back, head against the plush pillows. He parts your legs for you, warm palms squeezing your flesh teasingly, drawing a whine from you, he presses your thighs up, letting them hook around his back, as his skin meets yours. And god, you’re perfect, “how did I get so lucky? You’re so perfect, so pretty,” and he’s slotting himself between your thighs, fingers lining up his cock with your dripping slit, his curiosity getting the better of him as he drags the head up your messy folds still slick with your release, and groans as he watches your walls flutter around nothing, “so good for me, are you ready, baby?” 

You’re nodding, “please Yu, I need—” and his tip is sliding into you, his length stretching your walls far too well, and it’s enough for him to cum right there — as your cunt adjusts to his size, dragging against you as he pushes past your entrance. It’s enough for him to cum right there, but he wants it to be good for you both — wants you to hear you praise him again, wants to hear you say his name again and again until you fall apart on his cock. 

And finally he’s bottoming out, a moan from both of your lips, your walls fluttered around his length, your head lolls back a moment, before your eyes flutter open and meet his, “S’good, Yu, please, move,” and he’s cupping your cheek, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, before he begins to fuck you slowly. 

The echoes of your skin meeting his rings in hie ears, needy walls pulling you back in even as he tried to pull out, sinking deeper and deeper each time he fucked you. 

He’s burning, ready to melt at your very touch, putty in your hands to bend and shape at your will, even as you swallow him whole, he’s ready for you to consume every inch of him with your being. 

“Feels s’good, Yuta,” you’re moaning, legs around his hips pulling him impossibly closer, “such a good boy,” and his cock twitches, your mixed releases forming a ring around the base of his length, “s’good, need more,” 

And he’s groaning, as your wet squelches fill the silence between both of your moans and pants — and you’re close, as he gives a particularly deep thrust that finds the spot that has you seeing stars. Your head falls back, lips parted in his name, “Yu, I’m close — ngh, please—“ and he’s smiling, his cheeks surely flushed blood red, panting, as he reaches between your bodies to find your clit. 

“Cum f’me, baby,” he’s murmuring, and you’re nodding, as you fall apart for him, toes curling as you cum hard around him, making him groan your name as he spills his warm seed inside you, pumping slowly as he does. His body slows as you both come down from your highs, and he slowly rolls off of you, running fingers through your hair and pressing sweet kisses, “are you okay?” he murmurs, eyes soft with affection, but laced with concern. 

You smile, “I’m more than okay,” you press your face into his chest, and he’s shivering at your touch, pulling you even closer, “I’m with you,” and his fingers run up and down your cheek, before leaning down to meet your lips in a soft kiss. 

That’s right, he smiles as he kisses your forehead — he was with you. And the past didn’t matter — when he was in your present. 

“I’ll always be with you,” he mutters against your lips. 

And hopefully in your future. 

~~~

“What are you doing, I thought you were almost done,” Yuta mumbles against the soft skin of your neck, pressing sweet kisses that did nothing but sap the need for productivity from your very veins — leaving only behind thoughts of his touch behind, “baby,”

“Yu, I promise I’m almost done, I just have to send this email about my thesis and you’ll have my undivided attention,” you both had been stuck in the end of the semester rush, trying to find time for each other — leaving you stressed out and Yuta a little needy. That’s what this night was supposed to be for — a chance to reconnect, and yet here you were working. But you had to send this thesis out or you knew Yaga would have your head for delaying your work on your outline for so long — something you would be spending next semester fleshing out into a full thesis you’d be presenting. 

He nods, but continues to pepper you with kisses, your skin nearly molten under his touch as his arms wrap around your waist to pull you further into his lap instead of beside him on the couch, “After all the work I did to snag Professor Yaga as my thesis advisor, I cannot let the department head down with my draft,” 

He hums, vibrations making you nearly shiver, “I know, I’m really proud of you. I know you’re going to have something really special by the end of the year,” and you shake your head. 

“I just hope I make it past the defense — it’s the most nerve wracking part,” you sigh, “a room of my peers and professors staring me down while I discuss the work I’ve done,” you proof read the email for the millionth time — scanning for any errors and make sure the attachment is the correct attachment — and finally click send, and sigh before relaxing into his arms. 

“Can I come to your defense?” Yuta asks, perking up, and you smile, leaning back against him. 

“Are you sure you’d want to come? It’s going to be just me rambling about my thesis and answering a bunch of questions,” you kiss his jaw softly, nosing the small hickey you left blooming on his pale skin last night, “might not be the most exciting thing,” 

“I want to support you, as long as you want me there,” and you can’t help but wonder — would Suguru show up to your defense? The thought makes your stomach churn at the thought of them watching you present, eyes flitting from one to the other. You had doubts he would show himself there — but the only catch was if Yaga would twist his arm. And then what? You had nearly blown your relationship wide open once before when you had ran into Suguru in front of Yuta—

You couldn’t risk it again. 

“Let me think about it, ok?” You nuzzle your nose against his cheek, as he frowns, “I just think if I have you there, I might get too nervous—“ 

He shakes his head, “Whatever makes you comfortable, either way, we’re going to celebrate right after,” and you tilt your head. 

“What if I don’t pass?” And he shakes his head. 

“If hell freezes over, I think we’ll have bigger problems,” and you snort, “but on the very off chance you don’t, you still accomplished something incredible—“ and your lips find his, and he melts into your kiss after a moment. 

“Thank you,” you whisper, “I’m so lucky to have you,” and he curls his lips into a sweet smile. 

“I’m the lucky one,” and his lips press against yours this time, meeting yours again and again, until you’re placing your laptop aside, and turning to sit in his lap, “baby,” heat rolls off his body in waves, as your fingers trace down his chest. 

“I heard someone wanted my undivided attention tonight,” you smile, before taking your phone and placing it on ‘do not disturb,’ “well now what are you going to do with it?” 

He smiles, “Don’t know if we’ll have enough time for everything, but,” he presses a kiss to your jaw, “we can try,” and the two of you are making your way to the bedroom soon enough, unaware that you had gotten an important email that night—

From: Suguru Geto 

Subject Line: Regarding Your Thesis Advisor

~~~

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you’re adjusting your hair as you sprint your way to Professor Yaga’s office. This is what you get for staying up far too late with your far too tempting boyfriend. And now you woke up thirty minutes before the meeting, with barely enough time to make it on time, much less breath. Yuta gave you a kiss goodbye, but that’s all he had time for — before you were out the door. 

But you finally reached Yaga’s door, catching your breath when you took a second to regain your composure before knocking. You blinked — weird, his door was usually open. And the door opens, but it isn’t Yaga—

It’s Suguru? 

It’s Suguru. 

You stare at him, wondering if this is another twisted nightmare you had ensnared yourself in, but no — it isn’t. Because even your subconscious couldn’t make a scenario this twisted. His lips parted to say something, but you beat him to it. 

“If you’re meeting with Professor Yaga, I can come back at a different time, Professor,” the title slips from your lips without barely a thought, but it carries far too much weight. A flicker of emotion catches on the corner of his lips and in the glint of his eyes, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. 

“You’re on time, but I still you did not have the time to check your email before this meeting,” he tilts his head, as you blink slowly, “please come in and have a seat,” 

And you do, taking a seat across from him as he sits on the other side of the desk, you shift in your seat, as you take him in for the first time in months — his hair was still long, black tresses brushing against his shoulders, hair half up in a neat bun near the crown of his head; his eyes tucked behind his glasses for once, but you could see the burgeoning beginnings of dark bags under his eyes; and his clothes were meticulous as always — and you spot the tie pin he has — it’s the one you had gifted him near the beginning of your relationship — a joke that you had made about pinning him down in class turned into a gift. 

And that makes your neck feel all the more bare. 

“Is Professor Yaga ok?” and Suguru sighs, running his fingers through his hair. 

“He’s fine, he is sick at the moment — and receiving treatment,” you sigh in slight relief, “so he’s decided to take the rest of this semester off, as well as next semester,” and you sigh, leaning back as you cover your lips with your hand. 

“Is he going to be—” 

“He has a good prognosis, and his son’s with him, looking after him, so it should be fine,” he says softly, and his lips curl in a small smile, as he flips through the papers on Yaga’s desk. 

“What’s with the smile?” and he shakes his head, as he rifles through the stacks of paperwork, until he seemingly finds what he’s looking for. 

“Nothing, just noticing that your habit of worrying about others before yourself hasn’t changed,” and you glare slightly at him, pursing your lips, as he slides a stapled stack of papers to you. 

“And what’s this—” 

“Your thesis proposal,” and you take it, flipping through and grimacing at the red pen, “and my thoughts on it,” you scoff, as you see the familiar picture of his scribbles and notes in the margins of your work. 

“It looks like old habits die hard for the both of us,” as you finish flipping through, but your brow knits together as the pieces of news start to fit together like a puzzle — with a very mortifying picture, and your eyes meet his, slowly — the news going as well over as a lead balloon, and crashing down on your head like one, “so does this mean—” 

His lips curl in a small smile, “I’ll be taking over as your thesis advisor — for the rest of the year.” 

✧ a/n: it was supposed to be the last part and now! we have. one more part since i decided i wanted to flesh out the final arc a little more! one more part of this and it will be all done...:)

✧ taglist: @hatsunemitskislobotomy , @difficultdomains , @diogodxlot , @that-goth-bisexual , @dazailover1900 0, @aliyalala , @ashhlsstuff , @blue041803 , @mwtsxri i , @bblgumfairy , @sukunasleftkneecap , @xo-evangeline , @fiannee , @teatreeoilll , @chalametet , @ryukaver , @d1gitalbathh , @saga3ious , @seventhcinema , @satosugucide , @your-l0nely-star , @sokkasmoon , @deegausserr , @hyookka , @oggsyy , @littlebitb , @higuchislut , @ti-mame , @itoshisins , @cerene-dipity , @onionsoop , @sinlillith , @izzythenaive , @lalacute03 , @rxndou , @c-themoon , @xxrag-d0llxx , @hqtoge , @sugarxlumps , @hopeluna , @actualdeemon , @enchantedpendant , @serendididy , @soulstealercat , @neuviloved , @simply-a-s1mp , @satorusmochis , @maddietries

[hmusunoo]

I really didn't want to do this but at this point I cannot stand behind and allow a group of people to berate and bully my friends for simply putting boundaries between them. There has been so much hate and disgusting things happening on Tumblr lately and I whole heartedly believe that these people have to do with the many hate accounts circulating, I have a ton of evidence to why these people are not good people and they genuinely need to be stopped.

Bullying is not cute, it's not funny, it's not you being "Real." no, you're just being plain fucking mean. I have evidence on only a few people for things they have said and done, but I think that their entire friend group is guilty. I am almost certain that they send each other anon hate asks so that they can respond being "real" and get more attention on themselves.

Firstly, where I think this all originated, now I am telling this in a way that I can explain as best as I can and from when I was there, I know that prior to this incident these people had an issue respecting my friend Mars's pronouns (something they continue to do) When mars set these boundaries with an account called Jaeyunsonly, Eva (jaeyunonlys) continued to do it. Eva would call mars "girl" and Mars simply asked for her to not call them that, Eva apologized but then continued to do it, so mars unfollowed and made the decision to no longer associate theirselves with Eva, which is completely understandable and should not warrant the hate that their receiving.

Now, coming from where myself and Kaia come in. Kaia and Eva would talk very little I think I was told that had only had a total of two conversations and weren't close at all but still Kaia was friendly with Eva. Eva joined my discord server and she was really nice and cool at first. One night when myself and Kaia were on Vc as we did a lot Eva joined, we were ok with that of course anyone was welcome to join the vc. Eva mainly kept on mute and again, we were fine with that Kaia and I carried along with our conversation as normal. That was until Eva muted and told us that her friend was getting "freaky" to our American voices.

It had made me and Kaia a bit uncomfortable but we tried to brush it aside. After that Kaia decided to make a new smau and Eva messaged her with a message that had made Kaia a bit uncomfortable.

and although we can admit that this was in good faith, it made Kaia a little uncomfortable seeing as Eva and her were not very good friends and we had gotten bad vibes since she had said that her friend was getting "freaky from our voices" Kaia messaged Eva back, very respectfully to say that she wasn't comfortable with her unsolicited advice.

This was written very respectfully and after that Kaia was no longer interested in being Eva's friend. Which she HAS THE RIGHT TO. This is when the hateful messages started and the little indirects. We even shortly realized that a weird, ableist and quite frankly racist message that came into my inbox a while back was none other then Eva as well only further us not wanting to be associated with her.

Read it and weep, this is such a weird thing to say. There are ot7 briize of every race, nationality and everything why feel the need to attack one over the other and to also call them mentally challenged?? Actually insane, not even to mention the P DIDDY JOKES SHES MADE. Like what ? and Honeybelle, let me even get into honeybelle. This was her response to Eva's pdidy jokes.

was it "satire" to p diddy's victims honeybelle? was it just a "joke" to them. Like be so for real this is so disgusting, and saying it was just SATIRE. come on where is the accountability?

but I think its obvious that nothing bothers honeybelle seeing as she thinks its ok to write smut that includes minors even if theyre not included in the actual sexual acts.

Like what?? Here's the story too btw you be the judge, she also mentioned and later deleted that the reader was high school but a cam girl?? read these and ket me know exactly what the fuck you think.

"I realize that Riki is still a kid but im too lazy to re edit" what. speaks for itself.

She even deleted a sentence I very much remember where jay says to reader that "she is just a hole for Riki to fuck." like what?? that's sick. Not even to mention that Honeybelle's work is very very similar to Mars...anyways.

Something that mars tried to handle in private and was very respectful about, they use this as another thing to attack mars and Kaia about.

you would count this as resolved right? but they just cant seem to let it go. As they relentlessly continue to bully Kaia and mars over it. Kaia and mars have done nothing but set boundaries and theyre getting attacked for it.

In comes virtualhoon and all her friends or moots idk. And although Virtualhoon has a right to say whatever she wants on her account sure, she should not be allowed to BULLY people. You aren't being "real" you're being a mean girl. Then you say you want everyone out of your business but continue to make posts and respond to anons talking about the situations and lets me real, what are the chances that all this friend group is sending the anons to further the issue. Mars and Kaia have not spoken about it but when they do they get berated (I have further screenshots of this.)

but also the AAV...but anyways.

Bullies. bullies. bullies.

fast forward to today where mars was ONCE AGAIN, misgendered and Kaia came to their defense and this is their response.

like y'all think talking to people like this is ok?? no wtf. This is disgusting and if you think this kind of behavior is OK? you're just as bad. Also, isn't the way these people talk very very familiar to all these hate accounts floating around and if they can talk about people this bluntly then what do you think they say behind an ALT. I dont have solid proof of that but come on, we're not stupid.

also... come on this is so racist.

This is only scratching of what have done, if you go to virtualhoon's profile you can see countless times that she has attacked Kaia unprovoked. This is the act of bullies, i'm sick of the negativity on Tumblr but I don't care this has to be said.

@heeambi, @chobunz , @leeechin , @pshbites , @jaysng , @suneng

@coqhee , , @st1llm0nster , @nshmuras , @won4kiss , @wonsdoll , @jaemna , @vveebee ee , @lunesdesire e , @lvnglysunoo oo ,

just tagging moots for awareness, not saying you’re involved.

[if-loves]

a dream of nothing.

// Yandere Sunday

sum: Sunday is a good man.

wc: 1343

a/n: likes & reblogs appreciated! asks are welcome ❤️

Penacony, the land of dreams; Penacony, the planet you’ve come to call home.

You’re not a native of this dreamland, and no matter how much you attempt to assimilate into the culture, you always feel like you’re standing on a completely different stage, miles away from Penacony. You haven’t been back to your home in a long time, but you haven’t been counting the days.

Everyone has been kind. They offer you help the second you look like you need it, unsolicited tips and advice when it comes to their mind. Everyone has tried their best to help you in the ways they know how, and you couldn’t be more grateful… So why is it that there’s a gaping hole in your chest, exactly where your heart is supposed to be?

Sunday married you out of love, a grand wedding held in your names in Blue Hour, a gorgeous ceremony taking place on the lovely Eventide boat, reception on the marvelous airship, the Radiant Felspar; it was certainly the event of the era. As fondly as you’d like to look back on those memories, you find yourself looking at them with an emotion you can’t quite describe.

It’s not happiness, nor is it anger. It’s neither sadness nor disgust, but something in between all of it? It’s not indifference either, because whatever you feel is strong, but not so strong that you’ve felt an urge to act upon it. No, whatever it is that you’re feeling, is worse than all of those emotions combined - precisely because you don’t know what you’re feeling.

These feelings taint your every thought, and as much as you would like to do anything else, you don’t quite know your way around the mansion. It’s up to Sunday or one of the Bloodhounds to take you to the library or the dining hall, and it’s up to them to bring you back to the room. You’re only afforded the outside when it is Sunday who graciously brings you to it, but never when you request for it.

How long has it been since you’ve been in Penacony? No one tells you anything, not even the flowers. They stay the same, frozen in time, forever in the state of blooming but never rotting, forever beautiful but never loved. No one cares for things until they are gone, and if something never leaves, then no one really has to care.

Sunday is a good man. You think so, at least. He has some peculiar traits, but everyone has something about them that makes them unique. He has never made you doubt his love for you, and he has done nothing but love you faithfully. He’s happy to tell you vague details about his work, of course much of it confidential due to their political nature, and he always enjoys listening to you speak about yours, no matter how mundane and uninteresting it is to you.

Sunday likes hearing your voice, you think. You hope so. He never lets you sleep without saying an “I love you”, and he never leaves without an “I love you” from you. Surely that means something, right?

“Darling, what’s got you worked up? Your face is scrunching up the same way it always does when you start to think.” Sunday snaps you out of your train of thoughts, a gloved hand tilting your chin up for your eyes to look at him. He has a gentle smile on his face as he always does, his wings fluttering and his golden halo gleaming.

“A-ah, Sunday, it wasn’t anything really!” You reply in a bit of a daze, still reeling from his sudden appearance.

“I hope so. You have nothing to worry about here, so there’s no need to think so hard. If you have any troubles, you know I’m always here.” His right hand slides down from your chin to your left hand, and before you know it he has forced you to stand and twirl, leading you right into his arms. With fondness in his eyes, he closed the distance between your lips, a kiss so enchanting you’re not quite sure what it was you were thinking about before.

You feel the heat on your cheeks as you part, suddenly too shy to look into his eyes. Sunday chuckles and it’s a pleasing sound, like a bell tinkling, and you think you could listen to it forever, held in his arms in this position, a moment after a kiss, a moment before another.

Instinctively, you lean in for another, eyes already half-lidded and arms around his neck, but your lips never meet their destination, a crash stopped by a buffer of wings. He smiles easily, a hand on your cheek as he leans down to whisper in your ear in an almost sinful manner - but never is it a sin, you think, not when it is Sunday.

He leads you to the dining hall, your hands intertwined, but you no longer feel at peace. There are voices that speak to you, forcing you to be their sole audience in their never-ending play of torment and despair. Sometimes… sometimes there are things staring at you, something with bright pink - purple? - eyes, and you start to think that those voices are real.

Something lurks in the corners of this mansion, and you think it’s out for you.

Sunday says otherwise, though. He looks concerned, but you don’t feel like the concern is directed to your worries specifically - no, it’s directed to you. Like there’s something wrong with you. And… and maybe he’s right. No normal person would hear these voices or feel eyes on them, no normal person would feel uneasy about the people around them, and no normal person would dislike the thought of a flower never dying. You, you other the other hand -

Sunday is always right, you’ve come to realize. And he’s right about you - you’ve known that for a long time now. You’re a silly girl who once thought the universe was your oyster when you could barely leave your own planet without hesitation and reluctance. You’re a silly girl who took the first opportunity you were given, ignorant of any repercussions that would shape your future - yet still jumped into the unknown with fear, when the first rule of survival is never let them smell your fear.

Now, now? You’re stuck in the predator’s maw… and it’s become the only place you feel safe in, in between layers of sharp and venomous teeth, living in between the unsaid threat of a dreamless sleep, living in between the safety of the threat of death.

You don’t like what lies outside your room. You don’t like the puzzles and tricks, and you don’t like the people. There’s… there’s something wrong… but there’s no one who will listen to you, and there’s no one you can trust. Can you even trust yourself?

Everything is a blur, and you can’t - don’t? - remember anything. Is this a self-defense mechanism, or the artful plan of someone? Walls are nothing but a splash of color, patterns sunk into nothingness, faces are all but the same, mashed into one. Individuality, singularity? Who even are you?

“Goodnight, my beloved.” Sunday says, and you feel something being draped over you. Your eyes blink rapidly, trying to make sense of your surroundings, but the fabric of silk gloves close them without hesitation.

“I love you.” The words that come out of your mouth don’t feel like your own.

“I love you too. Now, sleep.” The door opens and closes, and you’re left alone as you always are, in the safety of this room, awaiting sleep within a dream. What was it that you were thinking about, again?

Ah, that feeling. Yes, that feeling of not happiness but not sadness, not anger but not disgust, something in between but not indifference… Perhaps numbness or nothing is the closest you’ll get. What’s the point in trying to figure it out? It’s not important.

Is there even a “night” in the land of dreams?

[d4minnie]

Hi!

So I want that Megumi story is kinda like...he likes the reader.... But they are friends.... And she's a so close friend with Yuji or maybe likes him?... And Megumi doesn't like that whenever he tries to go close to the reader Yuji interrupts.... He couldn't take it anymore and Noncons the reader being jealous

Hope it helps 🙃🎀

Pairing: Fushiguro Megumi x Afab!Reader

Warnings: dub con

wc: 1,194

MINORS DNI

Today was the day. Megumi had decided he was finally going to ask you out. He had a crush on you for so long—no, he was in love with you—and he never had the courage to tell you. After preparing himself and getting some unsolicited advice from Gojo, he felt ready.

He texted you to meet him outside in the yard. Just as he was about to confess his feelings, an annoying voice interrupted the moment: "Y/NNNN!" You turned to see Yuji. "Oh, hi Yuji!" you said, completely forgetting about Megumi.

Megumi was pissed. It wasn’t the first time Yuji had interrupted your time together. There were so many instances: like when Megumi asked you to the movies and Yuji showed up and made plans with you right in front of him, or when you and Megumi were at the mall and Yuji appeared, ruining your hangout. Megumi was done with it and wasn’t going to let this slide.

KNOCK! KNOCK! BANG!

"Im coming i'm coming wait"

When you opened the door to your dorm, you saw Megumi standing there with a serious look. "Hey Megumi, are you—" Before you could finish, Megumi put his hand over your mouth and locked the door behind you. You were confused and tried to get away, but his grip was too tight. You tried to shout, but only muffled sounds came out. Megumi then gently but firmly guided you to your bed and laid you down.

"Are you going to say anything?" you asked, growing increasingly frustrated. As you tried to get up and leave the room, Megumi roughly grabbed your arms and pinned them behind your back. "What the hell?" you exclaimed. He then forced you onto the bed, face down. You heard some jingling before feeling something firm and leather restrain your wrists. Panic set in as you realised what was happening, and you tried to call for help, but then it hit you:

Nobody's on campus today.

He ripped off the pyjamas you were wearing, leaving you in just your bra and underwear. He then bunched up your panties into fists and ripped them off.

Before you could make anymore noise you felt his hard on pressing against your ass. kneeling then grabbing your hips, he pulled you closer then put you into a mean arch. He took his cock and stroked it before rubbing the tip up and down your folds.

you felt his pretty pink tip disappear between your lips. Feeling it catch your soaking wet hole.

he started rolling his hips.

"So fucking wet" He cursed, sliding out before the weight settles itself inside me again, his tip hitting your cervix, a slightly painful sensation sending shivers down your spine.

His hips rocked in a steady rhythm, his finely trimmed nails digging into your waist from behind.

"M- Megumi..." Your voice was scratchy.

"Yeah, Megumi. That's right." The corners of Megumi's lips pulled into a snarl. "Megumi is gonna wreck you not Yuji"

heat started to grow in your centre again, rising with his fast and forceful thrusts. Megumi pressed down, his stomach touching your back.

"It's what a tease like you deserves. You knew what you were- fuck" He panted, trying not to slow down his pummeling. "Doing to me."

"Gonna do this whenever I fucking want! You're mine to fuck." Your waist slipped from his grasp as his long, fingers closed around the back of your throat, wet slaps of skin and squelches filled the room, your titillating walls squeezing around the length of him. 

"Mine not Yujis..fuck, not gonna last. Say it, princess." The grip around the back of your neck made your head spin a little more, he kept thrusting relentlessly.

"Y- yours not ah Yujis." He might've not even heard your, thrusting even deeper, not even retreating completely, going in and out of you until you both reached your peak.

You let out a whiney yell as warmth dribbled down your leg and filled up your insides.

You heard the distinct click of a camera behind you. "W-wait, Megumi, what are you doing?" you asked, reaching for the camera. Megumi quickly sidestepped, then turned his phone screen toward you.

There was a photo of you, and it had been sent to Yuji with the caption below it.

"mine

not yours"

[genericpuff]

no stop this article is too funny

this is from 2020 and while it talks about webtoons in general as a platform and medium, there's an excerpt from Rachel that's ironically and hilariously telling on herself when it comes to her priorities as a creator and how her work has aged incredibly poorly in the past 4 years:

She may as well just be saying, "I like Webtoon because they don't have any quality control" and "the trad publishing market had standards that I couldn't live up to, so instead of actually trying to live up to them, I went with a platform that has zero standards and was willing to make me into the standard regardless of my own qualifications and lack thereof."

Like y'all, take this as advice from someone who's had their fair share of rejection letters... the print industry dumping your unsolicited portfolio in the bin isn't gatekeeping, it's the nature of the business. The way Rachel describes it here - albeit I'm sure it's simplified for the sake of being an interview answer, but still - makes it sound like she was just expecting to walk right into the trad publishing market without an agent, without a completed manuscript or pitch, without any professional representation, and just slam her portfolio of mid-2000's art on the desk expecting them to hire her on the spot.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of barriers that prevent people from getting into the trad market, hurdles that can often be outright unfair (lacking the funds, lacking the connections, etc.) but... there's also a reason many of those barriers are there in practice.

First of all, fun fact: the reason why many publishers don't take unsolicited manuscripts isn't just to help them filter out the spam and low-effort submissions and prevent an overload of submissions (because if they took submissions from anyone and everyone, the overviewing system would break entirely), but it's also for legal purposes so that they don't get sued. Because if Joe Chucklefuck sends in an unsolicited manuscript that just so happens to include a plot point about the multiverse, and then a new book series or movie comes out that is about the multiverse, Joe Chucklefuck might get the sense they're being stolen from and attempt to sue them for plagiarism. This is why it's stressed so much by publishers that any unsolicited manuscripts will not just go unread, but will be thrown straight into the bin.

But second, many publishers simply don't want to take the financial risks on random start-up creators whose only experience is running their own personal projects on Tumblr, much less personal projects like Rachel's, half of which are fetish-content and all of which are unfinished. Of course they weren't gonna take Rachel seriously back then, she hadn't done anything to build up her presence in the industry.

In that sense, yes, self-publishing or pursuing a platform gig like Webtoons probably was Rachel's next best option which would be perfectly acceptable on its own, but it's just so, so telling that she thinks it's a "perk" for Webtoons to lack so much in the way of quality control, and we would ironically see the glaring evidence of that "perk" 3-4 years later in LO's final season when every single element of it as a "professional" piece of work turned to shit. It's no wonder she liked Webtoons in 2020 for letting her do anything she wanted, because what she wanted absolutely would not fly with an actual editor and publishing agency that cared about putting out a polished piece of work. The only way she was able to get "in" with a professional publisher was through Del Rey after Webtoons brokered a deal for her to have LO put into print, and even that level of prestige can't hide the fact that LO sucks ass in print. It's almost like under normal circumstances and without Webtoons carrying her on their shoulders above every other creator on the platform - many of whom actually do have experience in both tradpub and self-publishing - Del Rey wouldn't have paid her any attention. Without Webtoons, no one would take her seriously because she doesn't take what she does seriously, and it shows in her priorities as a creator who simply wants to just do whatever she wants without any sort of reasonable oversight like research or editing which are, again, necessary expectations within the tradpub industry, because it's not just about being a free-thinking self-expressive artist anymore in that industry - it's a business.

Of course, Rachel is probably now laughing from her soapbox over the fact that she now technically helps run an imprint, so haha "poo on the meanie trad market", but considering that imprint has still not launched and has been put on the same "coming soon" track that the LO television show has been on for the past 4+ years on a loop, I'm not holding my breath that it's actually going to amount to anything substantial.

(gotta love how they asked if Rachel was gonna create any more stories and her answer was RSP, which will help other creators bring their stories to life. so at best she didn't answer the question which is nothing new for her, at worst she gave away the fact that she's gonna be acting as some kind of producer who will be given all the credit and praise for other creator's works and efforts lmao no thankssss)

And god knows what the quality control of this imprint is gonna be like if Rachel's attitude toward the trad market overall is, "Nooo they won't let me do what I wantttt :((((" when she admittedly never even broke into the trad market to begin with and had zero experience working within that industry prior to LO.

And even then, Webtoons still doesn't give her as much freedom of choice as she claims to have. I mean ffs, this is the same person whose moderators stated that the Swarovski crystal dress from the finale was done as a "fuck you" to Webtoons for not letting her draw Persephone nude all the time.

She's obviously still being prevented from doing what she wants to do, when a lot of what she wants to do is better off not passing the vibe check and making it into the comic.

Quality control exists for a reason, Rachel. And "letting you do what you want" isn't necessarily a "flex" that Webtoons can claim over trad publishing when that "flex" is forgoing the traditional barriers that would usually prevent someone like you from failing upwards into manufactured fame the way that you have.

And that's my big bag of cents on that.

[yerimacoustic]

𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮 ♡ jun x reader

❝ 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙬, 𝙞'𝙢 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 ❞

summary : you find a sense of familiarity in your sworn rival, jun, while exchanging anonymous letters with a stranger .

content warnings : jun x female reader, regency era au, merchant!jun x bookstore owner!reader, mostly inspired by you’ve got mail, slow burn, frenemies to lovers, banter, misunderstanding, featuring jeonghan, wonwoo, karina and joy, yearning, kissing, sfw. 10.7k wc.

more notes : i finally got this out after weeks and weeks.. honestly i’m not sure if i love this, we’ll see how long it lasts 😭 not proofread. may make edits now & then. mostly historically inaccurate probably but we’re going with the vibes

the walk to the post office was not tedious by any means. not when the promise of a new response in the form of a handwritten letter prompted you to move quickly and lightly on your feet. it had become a weekly routine, early morning strolls to the post house, as well as an awfully great way to start the week. 

the postmaster, otherwise known as your childhood friend, jeonghan, stood completely still behind the main counter with his arms folded across his chest. there was a knowing, mischievous glint in his eyes as he watched you quietly shut the door; he had been expecting you. just like he expected you every monday morning. 

it wasn’t long before the brunette pulled a small envelope from the series of shelves behind him, gently dropping it onto the counter between the two of you. “here you go. your gentleman’s love letter awaits.”

“good day to you too, mr. yoon,” you teased him and grabbed the envelope, taking note of the familiar wax seal in the front. a neat scarlet red circle with a lion in the center- the familiar sight always managed to bring a smile to your face. 

“hopefully he gives you some more clues as to his identity this week?” he called out to you as he strode across the tiny shop in favor of sweeping the floor. a look of feigned disappointment washed over his features as the sound of the bristles scratching across the floor and the envelope ripping open filled in the silence. “...perhaps not.”

just as your lips parted, the door swung open to reveal jeonghan’s assistant, karina. from the moment her eyes were fixed on yours, a mischievous glint akin to jeonghan’s filled her irises. “i thought i might find you here today. what news from the mysterious suitor?”

you shook your head before gesturing towards jeonghan, “i haven’t had the opportunity to read it yet. someone’s made sure of that.”

the man laughed from across the room, “it was never my attempt to keep you from reading it. i only wish that the two of you would at least give each other some hints as to who you really are.”

karina nodded in understanding before turning her back in favor of hanging her overcoat upon the rack near the entrance. “i hate to level with jeonghan in this case, but i’m curious about this mystery man, as well. have the two of you ever discussed meeting in person?”

“no, not at all. we’ve agreed to stay anonymous,” you explained as your fingers curled around the envelope in an almost protective grip. force of habit. “we know the risks but.. it’s quite refreshing, having someone to talk to without any of the societal pressures.” 

before too long, jeonghan had finished tidying up and joined the two of you near the entrance. “i don’t understand. you both are clearly fond of each other..”

“who said anything about-”

“and you have a lot in common,” jeonghan mused, eyebrows raised. “in your next response, you should ask him something personal. ask him about his occupation.”

without skipping a beat, you shook your head in protest. “thank you for your unsolicited advice, jeonghan, but i know everything i need to know about this man. good day, my friends.”

you waved goodbye to the inseparable pair, stepping towards the small door. of course jeonghan, who always had to have the last word, called out to you before you could shut it completely, “except for his true identity!”

his words prompted your lips to twist into a smirk as you finally found the right opportunity to open the letter. as you unfolded the piece of parchment, your smirk slowly dissolved into a genuine smile, finding beautiful familiarity in the cursive penmanship. as you took cautious steps on the beaten path, you read the letter carefully:

‘this weekend i had the pleasure of accompanying my cousins as they vacationed in the countryside. they rent a small cottage near the ocean during the summertime and haven’t bothered to invite me until this year. i wish you could have seen it; it was perfectly quaint and tranquil. we spent all but the entirety of the seventy two hours walking along the beach and hunting for seashells. a bit of a juvenile hobby, i know.

i’m not sure where this inkling comes from, but something tells me you enjoy the oceanside. i bet you keep a collection of shells and pearls hidden somewhere in your home. or perhaps you proudly display them for your visitors to see. next time they permit me to join them near the beach again, remind me to fill this envelope with shells to add to your collection. 

i know summer is your favorite holiday, and with that being said, i hope you find enjoyment in the final days of the season. take a stroll along the gardens or picnic with some of your friends. 

take some time for yourself, my friend.’ 

–

jun waited three days for a reply, just as he did every week. he and his anonymous friend had fallen into a pattern of consistency, each of them sending a letter out to the other person once a week. even if he knew he could count on whoever this person was to send a timely response, his nerves got the best of him every time. the potential tone of the response occupied his thoughts at all times, keeping him up at night, keeping him from focusing intently on his work. 

this week it reached the point where he had to turn his chair around to face the window, hoping that the sight of the rolling hills and graying sky outside would clear his mind. summer seemed to come to an end as quickly as it had begun, the entire season passing by in the blink of an eye. he counted his blessings, realizing that he was indeed lucky to have at least one holiday during the season. even if it was at the very end.. 

a knock on the door pulled him out of his trance and he turned his chair back to rest in the proper position, tucked tightly under his desk. “come in,” he called out.

barely a minute had passed before jun’s personal assistant and lifelong friend, wonwoo, closed the door quietly behind him and strode towards his desk with an envelope in hand. “your mystery woman sends her compliments,” he mused, handing the letter to jun. 

jun’s eyes went wide. “you mean- you saw her??”

wonwoo shook his head, holding back an amused smirk as he watched the disappointment wash over jun’s features in real time. “no. my apologies.”

jun sighed, “just as well, i suppose. god only knows what chaos would unravel if anyone else in the household saw her.” 

wonwoo nodded stiffly, folding his hands behind his back. “right you are. maybe there is practicality in anonymity, after all.”

“still, i can’t help but wonder what she’s really like in person,” jun mused, leaning back in his large leather chair with his chin cupped between his thumb and index finger. “there are so many habits and manners of hers i don’t even know about. she could be.. much lovelier in person.”

the bespectacled man tilted his head, taking a completely different approach, “or she could be ill-favored and poorly mannered.” the quiet statement was enough to pull jun out of his daze, causing him to furrow his eyebrows in annoyance. “my apologies.”

“there is no possible way someone who writes so beautifully is as ill favored as you say.” jun disregarded the man in front of him as he began to tear the seal off of the envelope, a silent command for wonwoo to leave him alone. conveniently enough, the door gently slammed shut once jun finally unfolded the small sheet of parchment. 

‘i am delighted to hear that you were able to enjoy the last remaining hours of the season with your family. the ocean sounds delightful. your suspicion of my enjoyment of seashells and pearls is a fair assumption, although, i gave up collecting a long time ago. hopefully you invest more stock in your collections than i did.

i’m afraid that i have no plans to take my leave before autumn begins as i’ve been much too busy. i don’t mind keeping an occupied schedule; it takes my mind off things and prevents me from overthinking. especially when i get the pleasure of meeting several people from different walks of life on a daily basis.

i know i say this every week, but it is always a pleasure receiving your letters. sometimes i can’t believe that we met through an anonymous literary discussion group. i’ve received a handful of letters from other attendees, but allow me to say that the discussions are utterly mundane compared to our conversations. it feels like i write to a friend i’ve known for years.

i eagerly await your reply, dear friend.   

jun folded the letter and tilted his head back in contemplation, just as he did every time he read one of your letters. the term of endearment the two of you shared always stuck out to him- ‘dear friend.’ as much as he enjoyed reading it at the end of every letter, a small part of him wished that there was a better word to describe how he felt towards you. 

how he truly felt towards you was a mystery in and of itself. he valued your time and your relationship, he thought very highly of you.. but there were several complications that interfered.

as if on demand, one of the complications walked through the door without bothering to knock. joy, the daughter of the second wealthiest merchant in town and jun’s fiance strode towards his desk with confidence and charm. meanwhile, wonwoo stood by the door, stoic as ever as he occupied the room in favor of serving as a chaperone. he sent an apologetic glance in his friend’s direction, which jun quickly disregarded.

“still cooped away in this gloomy room, are you?” joy asked rhetorically. “oh dear, what ever is the matter?” 

jun had completely forgotten to mask his confusion-fueled anxiety when she walked through the door. he shook his head in quick denial, his gaze softening as he allowed himself a better look at his fiance. “nothing,” he replied shortly and offered her a smile. “what brings you here?”

“i’ve come to ensure you’re still planning on attending the charity auction,” joy replied with an infectious grin. she gently picked up one of his paperweights, a sculpture of hand blown glass decorated with stained petals of lavender.  

“oh dear- was that tonight?” jun grimaced, moving both hands to rub at his temples. the thought of socializing with anyone else that night in particular sounded like a nightmare, even if there was the possibility of making important new connections. maybe he had returned from his holiday much too soon.  

disappointment washed over joy’s features, prompting her eyebrows to furrow and her lips to curl with a frown. “don’t tell me you forgot.”   

“my apologies, darling- i’ve been so caught up with the upcoming shipments that it must have slipped my mind,” jun explained to her with a delicate tone of voice as he rose to his feet. the last thing he wanted was to convey his reluctance to attend the modest party with her. 

she smiled faintly, allowing jun to take both of her hands in his. “i understand that you must have a lot to catch up on after returning from your vacation. perhaps we shouldn’t go.”

“no-” jun gently protested and squeezed her hands. “i want to go.” 

jun witnessed his intended’s smile brighten in real time, the rest of her features noticeably lighting up once he agreed to make good on his promise. she mused, “splendid. i look forward to it.”

joy began to lean in with the intention to press a gentle kiss against jun’s cheek- however, he was quick to tilt his head back. just as an inquisitive gaze filled joy’s irises, jun tilted his head subtly towards their chaperone, who was standing against the wall with his arms folded across his chest and a knowing smirk tugging at his lips. right. 

just then, joy let out a sheepish chuckle and settled for allowing jun to press a chaste kiss against her knuckles. “i will ask for the carriage around seven,” he told her, letting go of her hands and letting his own fall to his sides. “until then.”

“good day.” joy curtsied to him and bowed her head politely towards wonwoo as she left the room in a hurried pace, excitement getting the best of her. she loved parties, no matter the occasion; one of the many subjects where she and jun didn’t see eye to eye.   

he clearly did a terrible job at disguising his disdain, for wonwoo was quick to approach the merchant’s side and pat his shoulder in feigned reassurance. “think of it this way,” he mused. “tonight, you may find someone you will actually enjoy talking to.”

“i appreciate your optimism, wonwoo, but i highly doubt that.”

—----

you must have reorganized the tiny bags of tea arrangements twenty times by now, ensuring that they were neatly stacked up against each other. as for the stacks of books on the other side of your booth, that was an entirely different story. you couldn’t come to terms with an arrangement you completely approved of and suddenly wished you hadn’t previously neglected the bookends. 

karina noticed your frantic effort to neatly organize the rest of the books and shook her head with affection as she placed a hand over yours. “everything looks perfect, i promise,” she reassured you. “besides, no one will come to your booth if it appears as though you’re still cleaning things up.” 

“perhaps you’re right,” you sighed just before the two of you sat down on the stools you’d been provided. silence filled the air between you and your good friend as the two of you watched the patrons circle around the rest of the booths, pausing to get a better look at the products provided by other vendors. you felt somewhat insecure while taking note of your neighbors’ products and wondered if you should have thought outside of the box. 

but this was an important, extremely personal matter at hand for you: the library you had grown up visiting every weekend was on the brink of closing down. you presented the idea of a fundraiser to the esteemed owner, strings were pulled, and the rest of the puzzle pieces fell into place. you only wished you had more time to come up with a better product to sell.

at least your fellow vendors seemed to be pulling their weight.

among the sea of clientele was a tall, smartly dressed man with dark, wavy hair. the man walked along the rows of tables with his hands folded behind his back, studying each individual booth a bit too theatrically for your liking. he took slow, somewhat deliberate strides that left onlookers on the edge of their seat. but something about the way he carried himself, his dress, told you that he could invest a great deal of money into a great cause if he cared to. 

karina left you alone, promising to purchase some cookies from a nearby vendor for the two of you. being alone with your thoughts at a time like this was less than ideal, considering customers were scarce. of course. you should have known no one would want to buy homemade tea sachets..

before too long the mysterious, smartly dressed man was nearing your booth. you straightened out your shoulders, rising to your feet and plastering the brightest smile you could muster as he approached you. “good evening,” you greeted him, a tad louder than you intended to, “could i interest you in some tea sachets? or perhaps- limited editions of some of my favorite collective works?”

the man stopped, picking up one of the tiny bags in his hand and raising an eyebrow inquisitively. “perhaps. what flavor are these?”

“ah yes, its black tea leaves mixed with brown sugar and vanilla bean,” you replied proudly. “i assembled them myself.”

he placed the sachet back on the table, ensuring that it was neatly lined up with the rest before looking past your shoulder. you could have sworn you detected a hint of distaste in your eyes as his eyes scanned through the stacks of books, but he stepped closer to your collection. “do you enjoy reading george eliot’s works?” he asked.

“well- no, not particularly.”

the man nodded his head once, his eyes lighting up in understanding. “ah. trying to get rid of some extra books, are you?” 

you furrowed your eyebrows, stunned. “no.. i assure you, sir, that’s not the case.” perhaps the words left your lips in a much more defensive tone than you intended, but the realization came too late. “i’m simply making much needed sacrifices for a worthy cause.”

the stranger let out an amused chuckle, “trust me, i did not mean to insult you. i was merely curious.”

“right... forgive me for overreacting,” you sighed, feeling unconvinced despite his reassurance. “everyone around me seems to have valuable things to offer for this event but.. here i am, selling dusty old books and tea leaves. i suppose i felt-”

“threatened?” he finished, cocking a brow. 

you lifted your chin up, maintaining a friendly but somewhat hesitant grin. “yes, i suppose i felt threatened.”

the man in front of you bowed his head to take a closer look at your merchandise. in any other circumstance, he wouldn’t be caught dead purchasing tea or even drinking it, and he already had most of the books she was trying to sell. however, he lifted his chin to meet your gaze, “i’ll take the lot.”

you paused, utterly stunned. “please, sir, don’t feel the need to humor me or my grievances-”

he cut you off with a gentle laugh, one that you found far too sweet and angelic, “i’m not. i’m simply contributing to a worthy cause, as you stated earlier.”

the stiffness in your shoulders and spine that appeared upon receiving his offer would not disappear. you chuckled, hoping to ease the tension, “well.. if you insist. how generous of you.”

a smirk crept upon his lips just as he bowed his head again, looking through his jacket pockets for his leather bound wallet. “don’t mention it,” he mused, totaling the sum and pulling the bills out of his collection accordingly. “although- i feel like i should, at the very least, know the name of the person i’ve given a large sum of my savings to.”

you chuckled and took the money from him, your fingers brushing over his palm fleetingly. “y/n,” you replied. “although, now is probably a good time to tell you that all of my earnings are going towards funding the library.”

his eyes widened, and it was probably the most he’d done to showcase his emotions in the entirety of your exchange. “how noble of you.”

“it's for an important cause. important to me, at least.” you shrugged. “do i get to know the name of my generous donor?”

he chuckled, finally allowing his timid smile to reach his eyes in the meantime, “jun. pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“the pleasure is all mine,” you mused with another faint chuckle. 

just as you had finished preparing his bags with all of the books and tea sachets he had taken off your hands, a woman with long, gently waved hair and a bright smile joined his side. her eyes went wide as she linked her arm around his own and took in all of his new belongings. “darling! i hope you weren’t planning on spending your entire fortune tonight.”

jun let out a sheepish chuckle, which was accompanied by another grin that barely reached the corners of his eyes. he replied somewhat flatly, “no dear, i assure you, that’s not the case. i’m simply helping a friend.”

the woman’s small, unconvinced laugh briefly broke the awkward silence before she spoke up again, “my father’s here. he wishes to discuss some urgent matters with you.”

jun nodded in understanding, almost as if to disguise his annoyance. before he could allow the young woman to pull him away, however, he nodded in your direction, “it was a pleasure to meet you. have a splendid evening.” 

you bowed your head in gratitude, although it served as a perfect method of hiding your growing smile. “i won’t forget your kindness. good evening.”

somehow, you were able to steal a glance at the singular ring adorning the woman’s left hand. judging by the rather impressive diamond and the glow that she wore so proudly, you were willing to bet that the two of them were engaged. you were also willing to wager that the tall man the two of them were now face to face with was her father.

you recognized him immediately; he was one of the wealthiest men in the city. if not the entire state. your mysterious benefactor must be a man of circumstance if he was betrothed to someone like the daughter of one of the most notorious merchants. as you took note of the blank expression adorned by jun and joy’s growing smile, you suddenly wished you were gifted with the ability to read lips…

when karina returned with small bags of the desserts in both hands, her eyes went wide upon taking in the sigh of your now empty booth. “oh my! i take my leave for two seconds and you manage to clear the entire booth out,” she chuckled, handing you the small bag of goodies.

you chuckled, “i suppose father was wrong; airing out grievances to anyone who may listen does have its benefits.”

“perhaps,” karina chuckled along with you. “tell me, how many customers managed to buy the entirety of your possessions in the short amount of time i was gone?”  

“just one,” you replied with a smirk, gesturing towards the man in question. jun stood awkwardly in front of his future father-in-law with the two large bags still in both hands. 

karina’s eyes went wide, “ah, the notorious mr. wen junhui. i must say, i am pleasantly surprised he even purchased anything tonight, let alone the entirety of your collection.”

you furrowed your eyebrows. “you know of him?”

karina chuckled, eyebrows raised to display her disbelief. “you don’t?” she countered. “he’s only the son of the wealthiest merchant in town. he plans to take full ownership of his father’s company by the end of the year.”

“then what is he doing here?” you wondered out loud, puzzled by karina’s revelation. you suddenly grew conflicted, reflecting upon his generous donation. was there a genuine desire to assist you in bringing about a change that was important to you or did he simply see your business as an opportunity to potentially ensure his own financial gain later on?

she shrugged, “i would assume he and his fiance are here to invest in some new partnerships.”

you furrowed your eyebrows as karina voiced your suspicions. “now who would make such…calculated moves at a time like this? my stars, this is a charity auction.”

“someone who only looks out for themselves, i suppose,” karina sighed. she placed a hand on your back and offered you a reassuring smile. “well.. i believe our work here is done. i propose we take our desserts and go on our way after a job well done.”

you laughed lightly, “i would be delighted.” 

the two of you passed by the couple as you made your way to the exit, jun’s eyes wandering to inevitably meet yours. he offered you a gentle smile, one that his fiance had just barely missed, prompting you to bow your head politely in return. for whatever complicated reason, you held onto the hope that you would never see that man again.  

—--------------------------- 

do you ever wonder what would become of your future if you had chosen a different path? or if, perhaps, the fates had a different idea for your livelihood? 

i don’t attempt to deny how lucky and blessed i’ve been- i have indeed lived a happy, comfortable life since i was a child. without going into too many details (as per our agreement), i would say that my life is very fortunate. but the more i take part in strenuous business meetings with my father and his partners, the more i wonder if there’s something wonderful i’ve been missing out on. 

i blame my newfound existential dread on the holiday i took part in with my cousins. not one of us had a care in the world for an entire weekend, and i daresay it was the longest period of time in which i felt no stress at all. this exchange of letters also provides me with much needed reprieve.   

i don’t want the entirety of this letter to fill you with melancholy so allow me to say this- there is a pastry shop near my estate that has the most delicious custard pies. if you ever find your way in that corner of town, let’s both hope i’ll be there at the same time. just out of coincidence, of course.

i hope to hear from you soon, dear friend.

you folded the piece of parchment in half and pushed it aside, feeling butterflies begin to take flight in your stomach. the two of you had never spoken about meeting in person, agreeing to keep your relationship confined to exchanging letters. of course, you would be lying if you said that the thought hadn’t crossed your mind on several occasions..

you haphazardly stuffed the letter in your pocket as the door to your quaint bookstore opened and jun shuffled in. he went wide eyed as he saw you stand behind the front counter, appearing to be on edge. 

even so, he greeted you with a smile of pleasant surprise, “oh..! i didn’t realize you worked here.”

you chuckled, still trying to ignore your racing heartbeat. “my father owns this store,” you explained somewhat flatly. “is there something i can help you with?”

“no, not at all. just taking a look.” a brief smile was sent your way before jun started wandering through the shop floor with his hands folded behind his back. you were reminded of the way he strode towards the booths in the library when the two of you first met, merely twenty hours beforehand. and just like before, it brought upon a sense of uneasiness. 

he stopped near a table in the corner of the room, where a stack of books was accompanied by candles set on top of intricate sticks, a woven tablecloth, and a small circle of.. seashells? 

he kept trying to tell himself that it was most likely just a coincidence, but he felt compelled to ask, “these shells add a nice touch. do you enjoy collecting?”

you perked up, gently shaking your head. “no, not particularly. i’m not sure why i even put them there; it’s not like the shop has a nautical theme..”

“they’re rather nice,” he remarked, gently cutting you off. he grinned knowingly as he continued to look through the shelves, studying the contents. “i must say, you have quite the impressive collection.”

“do you speak of my collection of books? or seashells?” you teased him.

he chuckled, “both, i suppose.. beaded periwinkles were always my favorite. i couldn’t help but notice it seems we both hold them in high regard.”

as he tilted his head back towards the small desk in the corner of the room, you’d only then noticed how many of that particular brand of shells you actually possessed. “i suppose great minds really do think alike,” you remarked. “but i’m sure you aren’t here to talk about seashells.” 

it appeared to jun as though you were eager to help him with another purchase, however, it couldn’t be further from the truth. mentally, you were crafting another response to your mysterious friend- actually, would it be appropriate to start calling him your suitor? 

either way, he noticed the hastiness in your tone and chuckled, “right. to tell the truth, i’ve been meaning to take a look at this shop for some time now. i think i could propose a business venture that would benefit you and your father greatly.” 

you raised an eyebrow and asked him in a gentle tone, “and what, pray tell, makes you think either one of us would be interested in a partnership with you?”

he stopped his pacing so he was standing directly in front of you, the front counter creating a fair amount of space. “i seek partial ownership of the shop. if you allow me to make a few adjustments to the building, i guarantee you it will bring in more customers and, eventually, more revenue for the two of us.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, taken aback by his words. “i don’t know if it escaped your notice, but my father is not here. he won’t be for another fortnight, at the very least.” you paused. “but if he was, i can guarantee you he would be mortified by your offer.”

jun mirrored your expression, cocking his head to the side in confusion. “i beg your pardon?”

“my father built this shop by himself and has been working his entire life to pay off his debts. every inch of this place holds sentimental value, i won’t have anyone making alterations for their own benefit.”

he nodded once, “that’s.. understandable. but you lead me to believe you’ve completely forgotten the definition of the word ‘partnership.’ it benefits the two of us equally.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, snapping, “please, sir- do not condescend to me.”

“my apologies,” he mused, taking a step to meet you around the counter. “but allow me to understand your line of thinking- you won’t accept an equal partnership from me, but you will accept a generous donation.” 

“need i remind you, the entirety of that donation went into funding the public library,” you protested while doing your best not to raise your voice. “and i now know fully well your true intentions behind that ‘generous donation’ of yours. 

“allow me to reiterate- while i most certainly do not speak for my father, i cannot guarantee his interest in your offer.”

he bowed his head with a knowing grin, “allow me to say i’m certain that your father recognizes a great offer when he sees one. i will speak with him in a fortnight.”

“i-” you stuttered, watching him step towards the door.

“i bid you good day, madam.”

—

my dearest, please do not feel any sense of guilt for simply conveying your true feelings. i will not lie to you, i think about all sorts of different paths i may walk in some sort of alternate universe. for example, maybe in another life, we do more than simply write letters to each other. maybe we take walks together or converse over custard pies.

even so, i hope you find a way to make peace with your business partners and yourself. and i really do hope you find what you’re looking for. please allow yourself to take more holidays with friends and family members whenever you can. personally, i find that even something as simple as a walk through the park on a chilled afternoon soothes the spirits.

i hope you reach this letter in time, but i have been craving a good custard pie. i thank you for your recommendation and hope to see you there on saturday around midday. purely out of coincidence, of course.

best wishes and goodbye for now, my dearest. 

“my dearest?” jun read out loud incredulously. he was so used to the mysterious writing partner holding him in a more platonic regard. he found himself helplessly staring at the term of endearment, the way she wrote it…

“i see the two of you are now using more personal terms of endearment,” wonwoo observed, a smirk tugging at his lips as he watched jun from across the room.

jun placed the letter in a drawer filled nearly to the brim with the rest of his letters, carefully slamming it shut. “wonwoo… cease your teasing remarks for once and instead tell me what to do.”

wonwoo stepped closer, sitting comfortably near jun’s desk with his hands folded on his lap. “regarding this mystery woman of yours?”

jun nodded with a heavy sigh, which of course, puzzled wonwoo greatly. usually, he was in a brief state of merriment after reading one of your letters- but the way he clenched his jaw and stared at the patterns on his desk in contemplation said otherwise. “i find myself… conflicted. you see, in my last letter, i left something of an.. invitation for her.”

“an invitation?” wonwoo cocked an eyebrow.

jun shifted slightly in his seat, crossing his legs as he expected the worse reaction from wonwoo imaginable. “indeed. and she has taken it upon herself to arrange a meeting place and a time.”

instead of scolding him, however, wonwoo nodded, his confusion still evident. “then.. why are you feeling conflicted, as you say?” 

“for a number of reasons, i suppose,” jun sighed. “the first reason being that i’m.. confused, to say the least, about my feelings for her. they are strong, whatever they are- i hold her in the highest regard.. and yet i wonder if we made a mistake staying anonymous.”

wonwoo leaned forward, letting his chin rest in his palm. “you mean to say.. you’re worried there’s something you don’t know about her? something you might not like once you meet her in person?”

“well..yes, i suppose. not to mention there is the matter of my engagement-”

“your arranged engagement-” wonwoo chimed in. 

jun paused, drawing in a shaky breath. “precisely.” he rose to his feet, pacing the floor behind his desk and cupping his chin between his thumb and index finger. “my arranged engagement.. that i’ve been second guessing since the day the two of us were made aware of it.”

wonwoo nodded, signaling his understanding. “well.. i suppose the only way to find out if there’s something about her that you don’t exactly ‘like’ is to follow through with this meeting. maybe you won’t come face to face with previously unknown attributes of her personality right away, but the first step is always the most important.

“it seems to me that you have a lot of feelings to work through.. with her. maybe you should write them all down.”

jun furrowed his eyebrows. “you mean- write them down and.. read them to her?”

“why not?” wonwoo countered in a gentle tone, rising to his feet and crossing to the door with his hands folded behind his back. “you have no issue writing seemingly heartfelt letters to her once a week. how would this be any different?”

before jun could answer his friend’s question, he was left alone to stew in the complicated question. as per usual, wonwoo brought upon an excellent idea- one that he hated to consider taking seriously. and with a heavy sigh of disdain and shaky hands, he sat back at his desk and began to write. 

—--

“are you sure about this?” karina asked you for what felt like the millionth time, tying the ribbons of your hat together. she stepped back to take a better look at the modest lavender dress you had purchased for this specific occasion, immediately grinning. it was his favorite color; you’d known that since the two of you met through the literary discussing group.

“honestly, karina… i’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life,” you replied, taking a deep breath as you held one of your suitor’s letters in hand. it wasn’t just any letter, however- it was one of your favorite ones he’d gifted you. “i just wish i’d prepared something beautiful to say to him..”

“just.. speak from the heart,” your friend advised. “it works every time.”

you laughed, “are you quite sure about that?” 

“we’re wasting time!” she laughed and gently swatted at your upper arm. “go on, meet your wonderful suitor.”

before too long, karina carefully shoved you out the door with no intention of allowing you back into the shop. you didn’t look back, not even once, striding confidently towards the bakery. you could practically hear your heartbeat echoing in your ears as you finally walked through the door, a loud bell startling you on the way in. 

you didn’t know whether or not to call it irony, but you felt your appetite leave you abruptly while sitting comfortably in the corner of the room. you stared down at the envelope, which was still in your shaking hands, unable to continue watching the entry door in suspense. 

a timid tap on your shoulder snapped you out of your daze. you whipped your head back to see jun standing behind you with a growing smirk, the sight causing you to let out a huff in disappointment. he responded by snickering, “lovely to see you too, madam.”

you stuffed the letter in your jacket pocket, sighing, “what are you doing here?” 

he pondered your question with that all too familiar smirk of amusement, mirroring your actions and folding a small, leather bound book in his inner jacket pocket. “am i not allowed to take time off work to purchase some desserts?” 

“that’s not what i said,” you sighed just before he pulled out the chair across from you, prompting you to raise your hand in protest. “please, don’t- i’m waiting for someone.”

you tried not to think anything of the way jun paused, his dark eyes widening. “may i inquire as to who? a friend? an acquaintance? perhaps a suitor- i am more than happy to serve as a chaperone, if need be.”

“that will not be necessary, thank you kindly,” you chuckled without any sense of amusement in your tone. “we are not courting. not that i have to explain the circumstances of our relationship to you, of all people.”

despite your protests, jun sat across from you as his smirk grew into a beam. “what kind of suitor is he, i wonder? a lord? or a baron?”

“sir, i would thank you not to patronize me. and so loudly, at that,” you whispered.

he laughed a little too loudly for your liking, his bright smile on full display, “forgive me, i do not mean to patronize you. i simply wish to know more about who my new friend has taken a liking to.”

you paused, signaling your disdain with a frown before leaning in and speaking in a hushed tone, “well, if you must know, the man i’m supposed to be meeting with is kind, funny, and has an aptitude for reflection and study. he’s completely unlike you in every sense of the word.”

“is he really?” jun asked, taking genuine offense from your words. he drew back in his seat, eyebrows knitting together. 

you nodded with such blatant certainty that prompted jun to frown, delicate as the expression was. “indeed. he walks through life with radiant optimism and recognizes the value of literary classics. you, however, view such precious works of art as yet another method of personal financial gain. and i feel sorry for you.”

tension filled the air as jun grew silent, visibly stunned by your words. “forgive me for not telling you everything about my line of work upfront, but i’m not just in the business for the money. you see- i’ve already read the entire collection i’ve purchased from you. a long, long time ago, actually.” 

you could have sworn your heart stopped beating completely in your chest- maybe you had been a little too harsh with this man. you timidly asked, “and you’ve.. enjoyed all of them?”

“i don’t think there’s a word strong enough to describe my.. idolization towards the authors. especially dickens.” he paused, rising to his feet. “i feel as though he explores themes of human relationships better than any author i know of. the idea that someone can find redemption and mend even the worst wounds within said relationships..”

he paused once again, leaving you to ponder his annoyingly profound statement with furrowed eyebrows. just as you parted your lips to offer an apology, or even to ask him to elaborate, he spoke up again, “i do hope that one day, you will hold me to a higher regard. that one day, you will see me in the same positive light you see this stranger who clearly did not even bother to meet with you in a timely manner. i bid you good day.”

you felt your cheeks go cold as you watched him turn towards the door, your voice slightly raising, “jun, wait-”

much to your surprise, he faced you completely and offered you a sad smile, “that’s a lovely color on you, by the way.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, clearly caught off guard by his abrupt compliment. “sorry?”

“lavender. it’s a lovely color on you.” and as he let the beautiful, heartbreaking compliment fill in the tension between you, he nodded his head in farwell and turned his back on you for the last time. that afternoon, at least.

you leaned back in your seat as the bell signaled his disappearance. you felt as though there was a lot to unpack from your exchange- clearly you had misjudged jun. clearly, he was well read and you had rudely assumed that he wasn’t. you thought you had better character than that- but clearly, jun wasn’t the only one you had misjudged.

then there was the matter of his unexpected compliment- try as you might, you couldn’t stop repeating his line, his delivery over and over again in your mind. the way the word lavender rolled off of his tongue with ease- was there a possibility he knew that you had chosen to wear that color on purpose?

no- that couldn’t be possible. at least, that was what you kept repeating to yourself non verbally as jun took his leave. 

meanwhile, the man in question kicked at loose rocks on the pavement while trying to avoid wonwoo’s gaze. the younger man had accompanied jun to offer him moral support and was stunned to see the meeting ending so soon. he pushed off of the bench where he’d been quietly reading, rushing to the other man’s side.

“jun, what’s happened? why are you leaving so soon?” he demanded.

jun shook his head, refusing to meet wonwoo’s gaze. he told him pointedly, “this was a mistake. i never should have made that offer to her.. wonwoo, what was i thinking?”  

wonwoo grabbed his friend’s upper arm, stopping him from taking another step forward. “what do you mean, ‘it was a mistake?’ you were in there for less than five minutes, what could possibly go wrong in that short amount of time?”

he finally held his chin high, his eyes meeting wonwoo’s albeit reluctantly. he folded his arms across his chest as he took another look at the bakery he vowed never to set foot in again. “i saw her,” he muttered. 

wonwoo furrowed his eyebrows, his impatience getting the best of him. “...and what became of it?” 

“let’s just say if she knew who i truly was, she would regret joining that literary discussion group in the first place,” jun bowed his head, watching the dust settle around two pairs of shiny black shoes as he kicked another set of loose rocks. 

the confusion visibly melted away from wonwoo’s features within a matter of seconds. “i see…” he mused. when jun refused to speak again, the stunning reality of the situation circling around him like a dark cloud, he lightly scoffed. “and there’s not even a small part of you that’s willing to talk with her, explain yourself?”

jun shook his head, “trust me, there is no getting through to her.”

“how can you be so sure?” he snapped. wonwoo rarely ever raised his voice; whenever he did, however, jun was always taken aback. 

“because i know her!” jun exclaimed. he paused, hoping to steady his racing heartbeat. “and i have known her for almost a year now. i know about things she hasn’t told anyone else, her innermost thoughts, philosophies, desires.. which is why i know for certain that she would never stoop so low to even entertain the idea of courting someone like me.” 

“‘someone like you?’” wonwoo repeated incredulously. “you’re being ridiculous. get back in there and set the record straight, i insist- no i demand it.”

jun yanked his arm out of wonwoo’s grip. “you cannot order me to do anything.”

wonwoo smirked, clearly finding amusement in the situation. who could blame him, as he was pushing jun’s relentlessly stiff, almost lifeless figure towards the bakery. “oh, but i am. i’ll be waiting right here for you when you’ve finished explaining yourself to her.”

“absolutely not. now let go of me,” he swerved to the right in order to avoid wonwoo pushing him again. 

“you’ve nothing to lose, now get back in there-”

“no!”

before too long, the men were all but wrestling on the dirt path. wonwoo was trying to push him towards the bakery while jun was practically leaping back and forth to avoid even a mere graze of his friend’s hand. any onlooker might have been frightened by their actions and guessed that they were engaged in a genuine scuffle. but neither of them retaliate with violence, of course.

neither of them were sure how much time had passed before the front door swung open, seungcheol emerging with a scowl, “hey! the two of you better get a move on and take your argument somewhere else.”

the simple warning was more than enough to pull the two men away from each other. as the two of them hunched their shoulders in embarrassment, jun turned his back on the store. as if it wasn’t enough to discover the woman of his dreams was actually the one who hated him, he made a fair assumption that he had been banned from the shop. 

wonwoo, seemingly unbothered by the shopowner’s warning, walked alongside his friend. his shoulder barely brushed along his with every step he took and much to his surprise, jun didn’t make any effort to stop the fleeting contact. “so.. what happens now?” the bespectacled man asked.

“what do you mean?” jun asked, his eyes fixed on the weeds growing along the path. 

“are you planning to stop writing to her? or are you formulating an excuse for ditching her?”

jun paused, taking another look at the shop behind him. he could just barely make out your figure in the small front window, waiting noticeably impatiently at the same table. “i have no idea.”

—--

dearest, i wish that i could provide you with a good excuse as to why i did not meet with you. i am positive there is nothing i could say that could excuse my ill mannered behavior, anyways. i hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me, although i am not so sure if i can ever forgive myself. if you no longer wish to write to me, i understand. i simply want you to know that nothing could ever change how highly i think of you. 

it was the shortest letter he had written. you read it once, committing it to memory over the next few weeks without generating a proper response.  

you couldn’t remember a time in your life when the sting of betrayal had so effectively wounded you. mundane tasks such as eating, drinking, even concentrating on the simplest tasks at the book shop became too much for you to handle. all that occupied your mind was the embarrassment you felt waiting hours for the ‘friend’ to show up, the way your heart sank when you realized he wouldn’t be coming at all, the way tears blurred your vision as you walked home..

or perhaps the realization that it was all a mistake, that you never should have engaged in writing letters with a stranger in the first place. you never should have allowed yourself to find such comfort in a stranger, someone who could have easily been saying just what you wanted to hear.  

usually, you weren’t one to shy away from your responsibilities at the shop, especially considering your father was still gone. but you allowed yourself to make one exception, given the nature of your heartbreak. besides, it was always your father who told you that a walk in the park could be soothing to both the mind and body.

in this case, it was a short walk around in the park before you came to a stop near the large pond. the sunbeams shining on the water pulled you deeper and deeper into a daze of content, providing temporary relief from your heartbreak. the leaves rustled in the wind, a crisp breeze in the air.. it was peaceful. 

obviously, a little too peaceful for fate’s liking. 

you averted jun’s gaze to the best of your ability as you watched him stroll up the hill, walking the same path you had just minutes ago. as much as you kept telling yourself that this meeting was nothing but a coincidence, a small voice in the back of your mind kept asking if it really was. 

inevitably, his eyes found yours and before you could rise to your feet to dash in the opposite direction, he was taking long strides to meet you in your newfound hiding place. you bowed your head, avoiding his gaze as he spoke, “what a coincidence. i didn’t think i’d see you around here.”

“is it really a coincidence?” you asked him, haughtiness in your tone. 

jun shrugged, taking a seat next to you on the cold grass. “usually i don’t find myself in this part of town but.. my line of work really takes a toll and someone told me recently that a walk through the park on a chilled afternoon soothes the spirits.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, your eyes still fixated on the patterns of your dress.. that phrase.. it was all too familiar. “wise words,” were the only two words you could muster.

he nodded, allowing uncomfortable silence to pass between the two of you and gazing at the pond. he waited for a moment before speaking again, his tone low, almost timid. “how was the meeting? with that friend of yours?” 

you paused, drawing in a sharp breath and fixing your posture in the same movement. “he never came.”

jun turned to look at you, taking a mental note of the pure, unapologetic expression of heartbreak you wore. your pouty lips, the darkness in your eyes.. “i am.. truly sorry to hear that.”

you screwed your eyes shut, fighting back any tears that dared to surface. it took a moment for you to collect yourself enough to speak without showcasing the warble in your voice, “i suppose it’s my own fault for putting my complete trust in someone.”

jun paused, her words echoing in his mind to the point he couldn’t focus on anything else. of course, he felt guilty for not immediately declaring who he truly was and staying at the shop with her. he regretted it from the moment he made the decision to leave her. once again, he found himself overwhelmed from the complications he was forced to face on a daily basis.

“i don’t think it was a mistake on your part,” he finally whispered to you, offering a gentle smile once your eyes met his. “clearly, there is only one person at fault here.”

you nodded, feeling unable to break away from his gaze at that moment. much to your surprise, you were glad that you didn’t immediately push him away upon seeing him stroll confidently through the park. because as much as you told yourself how much you disliked him and what he stood for, there was no denying he possessed a level of.. comfort.

you chuckled, the sadness unmistakeable in your tone. “i don’t think i can find it within myself to..blame him,” you mused. “i know it sounds silly, but.. i would rather blame myself. i keep trying to make excuses for him.”

jun gently furrowed his eyebrows as he processed your words. of course, his irises were still flooded with sympathy as he gazed at you, trying to come to terms with your line of thinking. “can i ask you a question?”

you were slightly caught off guard by his question but you nodded all the same. “go on.”

he allowed himself to look forward again, shifting a little bit to sit more comfortably on the lawn. his knee barely grazed against yours as you did so, the fleeting contact still sending a shockwave along your skin. your cheeks even heated up as his gaze found yours again and he spoke gently- 

“you jump through hoops to forgive this man for betraying your trust and yet.. you don’t seem to find it within yourself to forgive me for a simple misunderstanding. i just.. don’t understand why.”

once again, that familiar jab at your heart stunned you into silence. he brought up an excellent point; the moment you watched him leave the bakery, unforgettable guilt rushed over you like a tidal wave. seeing him sit next to you, remaining vulnerable with his emotions- it reminded you just of how much you had misjudged him. 

“i’ve been horrible to you,” you finally spoke. “and i want to apologize. i think.. this trip that my father’s been on has been something of a practice round for me. there will come a day when i’m running his store all by myself and..it might come sooner than later. and that terrifies me.”

“that’s completely understandable,” jun replied. “trust me, i’m convinced that if i make one wrong move, i will burn my father’s business, his entire legacy, to the ground. I’m terrified.”

the two of you shared a laugh, sorrowful as it was. as he kept the bashful smile plastered upon his lips, you couldn’t help but take a mental note of the way his eyes lit up as he did so. “i guess we’re more alike than i thought,” you confessed.

jun’s heart sank upon hearing your words. he longed to tell you the truth, to apologize for hurting you so deeply by ignoring you- but something held him back. a sneaking suspicion that this was neither the time nor the place. so he drew in a deep breath before his smile grew wider, “i guess we are.”

you chuckled, suddenly hyper aware of how close the two of you were sitting. however, it felt like the wrong time to bring up the impropriety of your situation, given the context. “but if it really means that much to you, i can arrange a meeting with you and my father once he returns.”

jun pondered your words, his arm grazing yours as he drew in another sharp breath. once again, the brief contact was enough to quicken your heart rate. “i would love nothing more than to work more closely with the two of you.. but please, don’t feel pressured to schedule the interview on my account.”

you chuckled, leaning back on the grass slightly and propping yourself up by your elbows. “on your account? it was your idea, was it not?” 

jun laughed in return before smiling down at you, “well.. yes, but you know what i mean. i don’t want you to humor me simply because you feel guilty. i want to meet with your father because the two of you genuinely want to work with me.”

“jun-” you started, taking a hold of his left hand. you anticipated feeling the cold sting of a wedding band on his finger, but there was none. you almost gasped in surprise, promising yourself you would ask him about it later. “i want to work with you. well- forgive me if i sound forward, but i want to do more than work with you. i want to spend more time with you.”

“you..do?”

“yes!” you laughed. “that is.. only if you want to, of course.”

“no, no, of course i do-” jun stuttered gently with a chuckle. “i’m just- i’m confused. you seemed to be pretty confident in your opinions of my character. and, well now..”

“i keep thinking about what you said..about mending relationships. and.. i want to mend ours. as i said before, it seems we have more in common than we might think. i want to get to the bottom of that.” 

“and i.” jun’s smile grew wider, the corners of his eyes gently wrinkling at the movement. he even mirrored your position, laying comfortably on the grass after ensuring no one was approaching. “i assume you’ve read austen’s works as well?”

you let out a dreamy sigh, earning a gentle laugh from jun in the process. “of course i have. pride and prejudice will always be one of my favorite works.”

“i should have expected as much from you,” jun teased, toying with a blade of grass he had plucked from the earth. he tied it in a few knots, shyly avoiding your gaze.

you laughed somewhat sheepishly as you watched his fingers toy with the blade of grass, feeling dazed. “and what is that supposed to mean?”

“there’s no shame in enjoying a good romance novel,” jun retorted, looking over to you. only then did you once again realize just how close you were now laying together, less than an inch of space between your shoulders and knees.

for a brief moment, it felt as if you forgot how to breathe. you didn’t dare allow your gaze to fall to his lips as you whispered, “is mr. wen junhui a secret avid fan of romance, then?”

“you could say that,” he replied, his tone growing lower than you’ve ever heard. it was all becoming too much for you to handle, the way the gentle breeze pulled his hair over his eyes, locked with yours, his lips gently parting. 

“can i ask you a personal question?” you finally spoke up, your voice lower than his.

“yes.”

“you used to wear a ring..” you started, unsure of how to go about your line of questioning.

he seemed to catch on, however, nodding his head once and drawing back a tiny bit from your figure. “i.. don’t want to think of everything as a business transaction. especially not marriage.” he let his hand rest near his side, inevitably brushing against your own. “my father wasn’t happy. or hers, for that matter. but i stand by my decision.”

you nodded in understanding. “i admire your courage. and i understand where you’re coming from, completely.” you found it within yourself to finally look away from him, drawing away from his godly features to instead look up at the graying sky. “if i ever marry, i want to be endlessly, hopelessly in love with him. without any hesitation or reservation.”

you caught him nodding in your peripheral vision, the smallest smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “i want to know the depths of someone’s soul. i want to savor every small moment with her..someone who fulfills me.” 

just then, it felt like a light bulb had finally flashed in jun’s mind; his feelings towards his anonymous writing partner lying next to him didn’t seem so complicated anymore. although he was nervous, wishing he could have waited for another moment to confess his truth to her, the small voice in his head was much too persistent. there truly was no time like the present.

with that being said, he pulled the small notebook out of his pocket. you recognized it instantly; it was the same one he carried with him in the bakery. he sat upright as he opened it, silently prompting you to do the same. before you could ask him what this was all about, he spoke in a low tone, “there’s.. something i’ve been meaning to tell you. well.. i didn’t know it was you specifically i would be addressing this to, but..”

“what is all of this about?” you chipped in.

a shaky hand brushed over the parchment before he began to quietly read, “my dearest friend, i’ve waited a long time for this moment. i cannot tell you how many times i’ve wrestled with the dilemma of asking to meet you in person-”

“wait-”

he took another deep breath before releasing it with a shaky sigh, “but now that we’re finally here, face to face, i have finally mustered enough courage to tell you how i truly feel about you.” but of course, in that moment, his actions betrayed his beautiful words. his heart rate increased, which in turn, affected his breathing. 

so you gently took the notebook from his shaking hands, offering him a gentle smile. you began to read his words aloud, prompting his cheeks to darken with a blush, “and the truth is, my dearest, that i have never felt so connected to someone in my entire life. i have told you things no one else knows. 

“in turn, although i feel like i know everything there is to know about you, i want to know more.” tears once again began to blur your vision, but you pressed on to the best of your ability. “writing this to you, i can’t believe i ever doubted, even for a second, how i truly felt about you. i can’t believe i had any reservations in telling you the truth in the first place.

“and if you don’t feel the same, that is per-”

jun was momentarily stunned when you fell abruptly silent. however, you had only stopped reading for two reasons: tears blurring your vision and falling down the worn parchment being one, while you also saw no need to read any further. 

you scooted closer until your knees brushed against his and reached your hand up to cup his cheek. “it..it really was you..” you whispered.

he rose his hand to cover your own, nodding bashfully. “it was,” he mused. “i know.. i know you must be so angry with me and- and.. confused, but i had to tell you. i couldn’t keep it hidden, i-”

just as a short chuckle escaped your lips, you quickly leaned in to silent him by pressing your lips against his. you felt him smile into your lips before returning the kiss, slowly molding his lips with yours. it was gentle, passionate, and it spoke much louder than words in that moment. 

when he broke away, his hand found yours and he laced his fingers with your own. as he gave your palm a tight squeeze, his eyes never left yours. “i’m sorry.. i should have told you sooner. much sooner..”

“i understand,” you gently cut him off, connecting your forehead with his. “i knew.. i knew that i was right not to blame you. i blame myself, i should have-”

jun immediately shook his head in protest, his other hand cupping your cheek. “no. i should have been forthright from the start. from the second i met you in person. it could have spared us both a lot of heartache.”

you laughed in agreement, “you are not wrong… what if we made an agreement, that from this moment forward, we are to be completely transparent with each other?”

“i love the sound of that,” jun whispered before placing his lips against yours once more. this kiss was just a bit more heated than the last, as if the two of you were making up for any lost time. the two of you felt as if you were seeing stars the entire time your lips moved against his. and when the kiss finally broke, the two of you were grinning from ear to ear.

jun, of course, was the first to speak up. “is it.. too soon to tell you.. there is a chance i may be.. possibly, a little bit in love with you?”

you laughed, your thumb brushing along his jawline as your free hand squeezed his palm. “maybe..but i am in love with you too. completely. without any hesitation.”

he chuckled helplessly as he listened to you upstage him with your declaration, pressing a kiss against your knuckles. “well.. then allow me to say that i am completely, hopelessly in love with you too.”  

[dairy-farmer]

Ok, so mostly i thought this was funny, but if anyone could make it hot it's you.

normalized public sex au where it is actually taboo to have sex in private. Maybe it's supposedly for safety reasons, but also it's viewed at incedibly perverted. Like what kinda off the walls kinky shit are you getting up to that you wouldn't do in front of your mother in law?

Perhaps sexual polyamory is the norm as well. Being exclusively monogamous would be seen as deviant and suspicious. If theyre having sex in private and with no other partners they must be doing something wrong, or one of them is being abusive or perversely possessive and controlling.

Like there is absolutely a batfam member who would be the worst kind of pervert (a romantic) who would want intimate and private (and exclusive) sex with tim. This would result in lots of sneaking around and speculations of when the young tim drake is finally gonna start "participating" in society.

This could be fun in a love triangle as well (perhaps jaytim and dicktim where they both want tim to themselves). Also, someone wanting to be tims first and only in this kind of society, wanting no one else to see his naked body, etc.

!!!!!!! jason is absolutely the romantic that wants to privately have sex with tim, fuck him when its just the two of them and no one else watching!

tim being young and the first person to fuck him is jason who led him to a quiet corner of the library one day and slipped his panties off. tim is the first person jason has ever been able to fuck privately, all the others were done in front of crowds, near groups of people who'd be having casual conversations around or staring and making occasional commentary and it...it just ruined it for jason. he couldn't enjoy the sex. and not just that, the person he hooked up with would almost always immediatly begin fucking someone else the minute they were done, likely one of the people who were watching and offering unsolicited advice and the sight would just mess with jason.

it bugged him that he'd never have someone who was just his, who would only kiss and touch him.

tim was the closest. bruce had made a big deal of telling socialites that tim was off limits because he was far too young for "that" stuff. that being tim being fucked on the table at a gala by any number of grossly rich brats who attended.

so when tim stood on his tip toes and pressed a quick kiss to jason's mouth before darting away when bruce turned a corner...it was the first time that jason's chest had bloomed with affection at having something private.

jason knows he's not supposed to fuck someone alone, that he's not allowed to be to possessive with partners. because it looks bad, it sends an unsavory message- that's what bruce and dick say. but jason couldn't help it. some deep part of him just recoiled whenever he wanted to have sex and it had to be in front of family, friends, or complete strangers. no one ever saw anything wrong with it so jason didn't know where the feeling came from but it didn't change that he had it. that and the desire to have tim to himself, to be the only one to fuck tim ever and see him in such a way.

tim is growing older and interest in him keeps bubbling. even dick has made a mention about being excited to see tim's cute little tits and pretty cunt on his cock. and the thought makes jason sick. because if dick fucks tim then he'lll absolutely share and introduce him to all his titan friends. some of them were cool but others were utterly unbearable. and jason couldn't stomach the thought of not being the last person to touch tim, of having to share him with people who didn't deserve him, who didn't treasure him the way jason did.

and so jason needs to find a way to make sure they can stay together, to make sure he's the only one who can be with tim.

[nanowrimo]

Pro Tips from a NaNo Coach: How to Write a Clean(ish) Fast Draft

NaNoWriMo can seem like a daunting task sometimes, for NaNo newbies and veterans alike. Fortunately, our NaNo Coaches are here to help guide you through November! Today, author Jesse Q. Sutanto is here to share her advice on how to set yourself up for noveling success:

Dear Nano-ers,

My first book took me three years to cobble together. During that time, I joined Absolute Write—a free writers forum which I completely love and recommend to all aspiring writers—and I made a friend who convinced me to try doing NaNoWriMo. I was completely unconvinced, but I am a people-pleaser and I can never say no, so I agreed to try it for my second novel.

My second novel took me less than a month to write. It was a complete mess, but it was also a revelation. Often, I felt myself falling into that writing Holy Grail—the hole which consumes you, makes you forget the rest of the world, and absorbs you completely in the world you are creating on paper. I loved the process deeply, and never looked back since. All of my subsequent books have since been written in a matter of months. 

And you know what? They were all a horrific mess. I did not learn how to do a clean and fast draft until my NINTH book, and I don’t think I would’ve ever learnt without the help of NaNoWriMo. So here are my tips on how to best tackle a sprint-a-thon like NaNo. 

1. Try to come up with a loose outline.

When I first started writing, I was a pure pantser. I had no idea what was going to happen before I sat down to write. This is a completely legit way of writing, but I have since learned that it is massively helpful to have an idea, even a vague one, of what you are trying to say with your book. What was really helpful for me was to sit down for just five minutes before writing each scene and try to envision what I wanted the scene to achieve. Once I had that in mind, the scene became much easier to write. 

2. Break down your writing time.

Ever heard of the Pomodoro technique? In order to hit 50,000 words a month, you need to write around 1,600 words a day. That is a heck of a lot of words to write! Break it down. Set 10 or 15-minute timers and use that to your advantage. Trust me, if you told me to sit down and write 1,600 words, I would be like, “Omg that’s too much!” But if you told me to just write for 15 minutes, that feels a lot more doable. 

3. Give yourself permission to write trash.

Before each writing session, I actually say out loud: “I am going to write trash.” And this gives me permission to write whatever comes to my mind without judgment. You can always edit later, but for now, focus on letting the words out on paper. 

4. Lean on others for support.

I made the mistake of thinking that writing is a lonely vocation. In fact, it is one of the most social things I could do. Social media, while a double-edged sword, has done so much for the writing community. I have found all of my close writer friends through social media, and I chat with them every day and consider them my close, lifelong friends. Don’t be afraid to reach out and make connections within the community. You are not alone. 

Jesse Q. Sutanto is the award-winning, bestselling author of Dial A for Aunties, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers, Well, That Was Unexpected, The Obsession, and Theo Tan and the Fox Spirit. The film rights to her women’s fiction, Dial A for Aunties, was bought by Netflix in a competitive bidding war, and the TV rights to Vera Wong was bought by Warner Bros, with Oprah and Mindy Kaling attached to produce. She has a master’s degree in creative writing from Oxford University, though she hasn’t found a way of saying that without sounding obnoxious.

[callsignangel]

domestic life w/ baby daddy! neteyam x a metkayina! mate - part two

warnings: fluff, neteyam being a great dad <3 in this series neteyam is about 24/25 (so, an ADULT) which i forgot to mention in my first post. if you're concerned or confused, please reference my statement regarding this series here. requested by anon <3 ↳ “i need more baby daddy neteyam but with a son. like maybe he admires how close his wife and son are yk mother-son bond,”

i’m not super happy w/ these but i hope y’all enjoy regardless <3

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵

neteyam had 3 other siblings growing up and he wanted the same for your daughter, so naturally you have more children together because the more the merrier

your second child was a son

fun fact, your daughter has 4 fingers like neytiri, but your son came out with 5 like jake. neteyam is thrilled that both of his kids are healthy and have these connections to his parents

but most importantly, they both remind him of you and how amazing and strong you are

neteyam still wears his baby carrier while he’s doing housework or cooking just so he can have his son close

your daughter’s first word was dada (not surprising)

he would watch you with both kids, telling your daughter stories of metkayina warriors before bed and singing na’vi lullabies to your son

he loves the bond you have with your kids. you teach them the importance of being a strong warrior and being fierce, but also to be kind and help those around you. to protect pandora and it’s wildlife, the oceans and the forest and to have a deep connection with eywa.

his daughter tends to gravitate towards him, but your son is a complete mama's boy. just the sweetest big happy family

now that your daughter is older, she likes to sleep with you guys in your bed

sometimes he’ll wake up in the night and he’ll see you with the baby

it makes his heart swell watching you softly sing to him and rock him back and forth

you guys take turns waking up to care for the crying baby. sometimes he sleeps through it, but there’ll be moments where you get up to go but neteyam’s already there

he cradles that little boy in his arms and this man ALWAYS makes sure he supports their neck/heads

he’s bouncing him softly and humming to lull him back to sleep

he carves out toys for his kids from driftwood found on the beaches of awa’atlu

threatens to take away said toys when your kids get fussy about eating their vegetables

neteyam is a frequent napper now, you’ll always find your baby boy on his chest and your baby girl cuddled up on his side - all sound asleep.

they both grow up way too fast but he wouldn’t have it any other way. he’s glad you stayed by his side through it all and that you’ve blessed him with two gorgeous children

we love baby daddy neteyam <3

extra:

kiri is the spiritual crystal loving wine aunt

lo'ak is the funcle

tuktirey is the cool aunt who'll colour with them but also sneak them alcohol

jake is the military grandpa who start's every sentence with "back in my day," or "back where i come from," and falls asleep everywhere all the time, gives unsolicited parenting advice lol

neytiri is the one who spoils all of her grandchildren the most, always has cute little gifts for them and brings them candy

[malachiteclouds]

Hello my love💗What are your thoughts sun in 8th house? sorry if it bothers, thankyou sm!!! big love to you🥺💞🌷

Awwww big love to you too! It's no bother, sorry to get back to you so late haha. I have this aspect so I feel well equipped to explain it

Sun In 8th House / (can be applied to Sun/Pluto aspects or Sun in Scorpio)

The sun represents our individuality, self expression, ego, and will. It shines a light wherever it is in the birth chart. The house/sign that it's in gets illuminated and put on display for ourselves and others, it shines very brightly and can be tightly wound to the way we express ourselves and/or are perceived by others.

This can be a struggle when in the 8th house because it is where we keep our secrets and want to retain a sense of privacy and secrecy. It's the most vulnerable and intimate parts of us that we prefer to keep to ourselves or people we trust deeply and unconditionally. It's the part of ourselves that undergoes the raw experience of death, transformation, and rebirth. when the sun is here, it acts like a giant, bright, beaming light onto this close and raw part of our chart that many people are able to keep hidden. think of it like a spotlight that gets shown onto the raw parts of you for the entire world to see. These people often have their secrets and private life exposed no matter how they try to avoid it. people seem to feel entitled to always be in their business and give unsolicited advice, judgements, and opinions to them. especially if the native is a woman, a lot of people can have opinions on her sexuality. she can be seen as provocative or at the least just a whole lot of people "know" things about her sex life (a rumor about body count, a bad/good sex story, nudes being leaked [if in pisces or aspected to neptune], sexuality on display in an almost unavoidable way). Some of this judgement can be casted on by her father as the sun is the "father" in astrology.

However, as the light (sun) shines brightly for the world to see, this includes the native as well. people with this placement have a remarkable gift of self transformation and metamorphosis. They are often aware of the deepest and darkest parts of themselves at a degree not many people are and have a great drive and determination to become the most evolved version of themselves constantly. This awareness sometimes comes without choice, and if they try to avoid it or ignore it it can fester into an inflated ego or power issues. this only comes when the native blocks the transformation journey their soul is destined to take. They are destined to be born, die, and then be reborn many many times in this single lifetime. They take their own self discovery very seriously and unraveling the mysteries of the self tend to be their main objective in this lifetime. These people are the kinds of people who you stop talking to then a year later they are a completely different version of themselves. it is almost impossible for these people to remain the same, as their entire will to life is to change!

This self awareness can manifest into a keen awareness of the darkness that exists in others. While most people project onto them or try to weasel their way into this natives business, this projection only aids the native in the ability to read them like a book (once the native learns that the perception people have of others comes from how they see themselves). Once they unlock the ability to detach from other peoples perceptions, they gain the ability to turn the "spotlight" back around and see people clearly. They can see peoples darkest secrets, deep insecurities, projections, and denial through their own lack of introspection. For a lot of people, it can take years to begin detangling the web of the 8th house, but the sun can be a blessing in disguise here as these natives have no other choice but to unravel it all.

[littlelillycatsworld]

weight loss breakdown (for once not a mental one impressive ik)

as promised heres my weight loss breakdown. I have awful brain fog words aren't working properly (using any and all brain power on English rn) and it's a bit all over the place please be patient with me I have most definitely forgotten some stuff I'll update when I remember

this is not healthy this is what works for me I know the limits of my body you are your own person please look after yourself and don't compare yourself to me. I'm a professional ballerina and ex-taekwondow artist

please be polite don't leave unsolicited advice if I need or want it I'll ask and right now I DONT.

I'm not suggesting that anyone should attempt to fallow this since this is actually insane

DRINKS

I drink lemon honey water or tea for breakfast most days depending on how much calorie dread I have (does that make sense?)

I will only allow myself to drink water, tea or diet coke/zero or ultra monster throughout the day

MEALS

OMAD when possible budget is 900 I rarely ever make it close to my budget

I'll only intentionally eat dinner unless forced otherwise. I must burn off whatever I can from dinner since I don't have classes that late

some days it's completely unavoidable and I have to eat snacks due to outside pressure like friends and family or my manager (he's apparently hell bent on keeping my ass alive)

binges happen we (I) acknowledge them we (me) move

if I feel faint when In class nothing matters I WILL eat I cannot run the risk of hurting myself or my dance partner when it's him who will be the one who makes sure i dont hit the ground

META DAYS

meta days are important please take them!

I must allow myself 2 grace days a week and I try to be gentle with myself. (essentially I'm gentle parenting myself on these days)

I try not to fall into my normal over the top exercise routine since I still haven't figured out how to make these days my bitch

my cal budget is normally around 1400 for these days

EXERCISE

I must do 10k steps at least (normally much closer to 25k)

I start every day off with a mile run sometimes 2 (depending on how much I want to not exist and weather conditions)

i go to the gym at my dorm when weather conditions are bad or it's to cold for me I run on the treadmill it's not as mentally stimulating as outside but I don't like the rain ice or wind too much

i can be expected to be dancing for 8-9hrs on my longest day so for the most part I don't need to worry too much about forcing myself to burn calories but it gives me peace of mind I burn an estimated 4500cal these days (impossible to know for sure since 2 teachers don't allow activity trackers)

around 3000 on my normal days but again 2 teachers are a pain In my ass

I play just dance religiously at this point it takes me 2hrs to burn 500 I do this after dinner or twice a day on the weekends where possible.

I still practice taekwondo and go to a studio to do classes once a week but it's not as extreme as it used to be (no longer training 6 days a week and doing competitions)

WEIGHING

I weigh myself most days

I don't weigh myself during my meta days I don't need the added mental stress

I get weighed by my school once a week but only update my profile if there is a big difference either up or down (accountability and all that)

FASTS

I normally do 24hr since omad

I don't count my medication, gum, diet coke/zero tea or lemon honey water as breaking my fast. if this keeps me mentally stable then idk it doesn't count (politely eat a brick if you try to tell me otherwise)

I always try to get at least one longer fast a week normally after dinner on wednesday to Friday dinner sometimes I can make it to Saturday dinner it just depends on who's around to make me eat

if your wondering how I've survived this far all I can say is I'm a spiteful little bitch who's going to prove a whole list of people wrong

[felagund-the-valiant]

Fingon SFW Alphabet

A/N: i've been fretting over this for some time, so glad it's finally done. i love him sm and yet it's weirdly hard to put that love into words sometimes :/

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

His love languages are physical touch and quality time. Absolutely no problem with PDA, though he tones it down in more formal settings. Not afraid to show affection in front of his friends/family and at least always has an arm around you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

This man has no trouble starting conversations and he’s probably one of those people who know at least one person wherever they go. He‘s an incredibly supportive best friend and always has your back. Likes to give unsolicited advice but not with bad intentions.

The kind of extrovert who has unintentionally adopted dozens of introverts. He just makes it easy to get comfortable, even if you’re not a big talker.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

You know he loves cuddles and will never turn them down. It‘s one of his favourite ways to unwind after a stressful day – just trap you in his arms and turn his head off.

Normally prefers to be the big spoon, but when he’s feeling down, he will sometimes ask you to switch places.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Definitely wants to settle down eventually but isn’t in a rush to do so. As long as you regularly spend time together, he can wait until you’re ready. 10/10 cook, probably better at it than you.

You might have to occasionally kick his ass when it comes to tidying things up, but he won‘t make a fuss about it.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Would try to be as empathetic as possible about it. He would prefer it if the two of you could still stay on good terms afterwards, completely cutting off ties would be his absolute last resort.

Even if you somehow came to resent him (good luck with that), he’s almost chronically unable of bearing long-term grudges.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Oh, he would love to get married one day, but just like with settling down, he isn’t necessarily in a rush. Since he’s very expressive with his feelings, he’d love a big, fancy celebration. He wants everyone to see how much the two of you love each other and how lucky he is to have you.

Will definitely cry at some point during the ceremony.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He can be incredibly gentle and tender when he wants to and has no problems with being open about his feelings for you. You’ll never be left wondering how he feels about you. Whether you need a kiss, a hug or simply some warm words – he’s got you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He lives for hugs. Might be a bit clingy at times but you can never stay annoyed for too long at his enthusiasm. His hugs are always strong and comforting, his aim to make you feel safe and protected with him.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

There’s a high chance he’ll be the first one to say it. He’s not one to overthink his feelings and one day he‘ll just have this sudden epiphany about how much you truly mean to him and how he can’t imagine his life without you anymore. From there on, it’s only a matter of waiting for the right moment with just the two of you to spill the beans.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

It would take a lot to make him seriously jealous and so far, you haven’t seen that side of him. Most of his jealousy is playful and exaggerated and clearly meant as a joke – deep down, he has unconditional trust in you.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He gives a lot of playful kisses, probably preceded by a corny joke or compliment. Overall, pretty sweet kisser. Other than your lips, he likes to randomly pull you in to give you a quick kiss to the temples or forehead.

Adores when the two of you are cuddling and you pepper little kisses all along his throat and jaw.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Due to his open and cheerful nature, children flock to him, and he will gladly entertain them for hours, singing silly children’s songs with them or telling them stories he came up with on the spot.

10/10 big brother, older cousin or father.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Annoyingly cheerful in the morning, even during busy/stressful times. You’ve whacked him across the head with a pillow in annoyance on more than one occasion.

How can he be this chipper when he got less sleep than you? Only Eru knows.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He always tries to go to sleep at the same time as you (unless he’s horrendously busy) so the two of you can cosy up under the blankets and chat a little/get caught up before nodding off.

The first time you ever saw him without his golden braids was when you slept over at his house for the first time. He had made a little show out of loosening his hair, as if you were suddenly seeing a vulnerable new side of him and it’s still something the two of you occasionally joke about.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s an open book and has no trouble revealing things about himself, no matter how personal/intimate. Seriously. If you ask, you better be prepared for a detailed answer. Don’t say he didn’t warn you.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s not necessarily easily angered, but he can be very rash and prone to act first and think later. Sometimes you need to be his voice of reason and reign him in a little.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He’s got everything you’ve ever told him memorised. Whenever you mention something new, he immediately files it away in a secure location within his mind. While his memory is naturally sharp due to being an Elf, he still likes to brag about how well he knows you, sometimes.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The day you confessed your feelings to each other is one of his most cherished memories. Looking back on it now with the knowledge of what that nerve-wracking yet wonderful moment led to, is enough to make him sentimental.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He secretly really likes playing knight in shining armour, but he knows that it’s often not warranted. You’re your own person and he will usually trust your judgement when it comes to how comfortable/safe you feel in others’ presences.

Not just willing to protect you from others but also from yourself. He’s the master of peptalks and will not stand for you talking negatively about yourself. Not on his watch, forget it.

You don’t ever need to protect him physically, he’s more than capable of that himself. He will, however, not hesitate to lean on you for emotional support. You don’t need to be good at it, for him it’s mostly the thought that counts – feeling like he can be vulnerable with you is enough.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts as much effort as possible into everything that concerns you. You’re the most important person in his life and he wants you to feel it every day.

He expects the same effort in return, please don’t disappoint him.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He can be overly talkative and not realise when he‘s taken over the entire conversation.

Might get a bit annoyed at you if you take too much time to think things over – sometimes forgets that not everyone’s as spontaneous as he is.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He takes great pride in the way he braids his hair and is very meticulous about it. You’re the only other person he trusts to do it right and teaching you how to do his preferred styles has been an unexpectedly strong bonding experience.

As for clothes, he certainly makes an effort to always look his best, but he prefers when the main thing that stands out about his appearance is his hair.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

While he can appear kind of clingy at times, he isn’t irrational about it or has abandonment issues. It’s mostly just him pretending to be overdramatic in hopes of getting a laugh out of you. He has more than enough confidence in himself, no need to worry about him.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

As mentioned above, he excels at cooking. Even if you’re not good at it, he will still gladly do it together with you and is always happy to teach you some things.

One of your first dates was probably him inviting you over to cook your favourite meal together and have an intimate dinner.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn’t like mean-spirited jokes at the expense of others, all of his bickering and bantering is done good-naturedly.

In the same vein, he has zero tolerance for bullies of any kind and will shut that shit down as soon as he gets wind of it.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He’s a very light sleeper, much to his dismay, and quite prone to restless sleep as soon as he gets a little stressed. He never means to hog the blanket, but he’s very active in his sleep which kind of makes it wander around the bed, so you might end up unlucky at times.

[calmdownzuza]

How to be supportive:

When someone you love trusts you enough to tell you about their struggles and past traumas, your response can make a significant impact on their healing process. Remember, that your role is to support, not to fix. Be a safe space for them to share and heal.

Listen:

Put away distractions and focus entirely on them.

Show engagement by nodding, maintaining the eye contact, and offer verbal affirmations like “That sounds really hard.”

Validate:

“You’re not alone in this.”

Avoid diminishing their pain.

Don’t make jokes to "lighten up the atmosphere." It can be perceived as dismissive and can worsen their feelings.

“It’s completely natural to feel that way, given on what you have been trough - It's a lot of stress.”

Avoid unsolicited advice:

Focus on listening: they might just need to vent.

Ask: “Would you like my thoughts on this, or do you just need to talk it out?” can help you communicate more effectively.

Stay patient:

Take the time to learn more about trauma-informed practices to approach discussions with empathy and respect.

Supporting someone through trauma involves educating yourself on its impacts and manifestations - mental, emotional, physical.

Let them share at their own pace. Healing takes time, and they shouldn't feel rushed or pressured to reveal more than they're comfortable with.

Don't do that:

Don’t imply that they are at fault or should have acted differently.

Don’t make it about yourself, your viewpoints, or how you would or wouldn't handle their situation.

Respect their boundaries:

Don't pressure them to do anything.

Respect their privacy, unless there’s a risk of harm.

Offer practical support:

Be reliable and consistent in it.

Ask: “What can I do to support you right now?”

Focus on providing a safe and comforting environment.

If they need help or someone to be there, make sure to show up.

Encourage professional help:

Let them know you’re here to support them, whether they decide to pursue professional help or not.

If they seem open, gently introduce therapy or counseling as a supportive option for addressing their challenges.

Take care of yourself:

Set boundaries to protect your own emotional well-being, and ensure you have your own support system too.

[francesderwent]

ask game

fortnight: what’s your new aesthetic?

tortured poets department: who do you declare should be a bigger artist?

my boy only breaks his favorite toys: if you were a toy what kind would you be?

down bad: public place you’ve cried at?

so long london: something you loved about a place you used to live?

but daddy I love him: how do you take unsolicited advice?

fresh out the slammer: once you leave a stressful situation, what is your go-to way to wind down?

florida!!!: if you had to go on the run and start your life over what would your name be? (bonus: what are you on the run for)

guilty as sin?: a recurring daydream?

who’s afraid of little old me?: be honest: are you scary?

I can fix him (no really i can): one fictional character you, personally, could fix and one you couldn’t?

loml: two unrelated things that are inextricably linked together in your brain?

I can do it with a broken heart: can you hide what you’re feeling or can people tell?

the smallest man who ever lived: what mystery (personal or otherwise) would you most like to receive a declassified file explaining?

the alchemy: something you love that you come back to over and over?

clara bow: do people say you look like anyone?

the black dog: a song intertwined in the fabric of your dreaming?

imgonnagetyouback: can you tell when somebody wants you/likes you/is flirting with you?

the albatross: a past experience you’re passionate about sharing with people going through it now, ie something you can say “I’ve been there too” about?

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: pick a current significant other/close friend and a former significant other/close friend. would the current one have bullied the former one in school?

how did it end?: you announce “come one, come all, it’s happening again”—what’s “it”?

so high school: complete this sentence: “you know how to ball, I know ____”

I hate it here: one thing about the contemporary era you hate?

thank you aimee: a bad experience that you’re grateful for?

I look in people’s windows: when you run into someone you used to know are you generally pleased or alarmed?

the prophecy: when you want something, do you: beg, lose hope, stay cool, howl at the moon, say please, or have faith?

cassandra: mythical figure you relate to?

peter: a way your grown-up years are different than how you thought they’d be?

the bolter: have you had any near death experiences?

robin: a happy secret you’ve kept?

the manuscript: would you ever publish a memoir, let someone read your diary, etc?

send me a song title (or two!)