#it was asmr adjacent

[bedhag]

dale kobble asmr when

[penncilkid]

Hi hey hello, it’s PK! Back with another non-canon ship paired with far too many words. Welcome to one of my fic-adjacent ramble sessions! I mentioned it the last time I did one of these, but today, we’re discussing Sam/David— Or Lunar Healing (Yes, I gave them a ship name. I like to have fun /lh). This post will be going over the main timeline I’ve envisioned for these two. However, I have dozens of general ship headcanons as well so if anyone would be interested in seeing those, let me know and I’ll make a sequel post. (Also special shoutout to @cashandprizes, they certainly had some sort of part to play in the creation of this post /lh /pos). Now then, let’s get into this!

Pairing: Sam/David*

Word Count: 3.8 K [Note: If you wanna skip the Inversion stuff near the end, then it’s only 2.5 K]

Content Tags/Warnings: Inversion will be brought up/discussed near the end of this (Specific heads up for mention of blood) // I’ll also be using my listeners’ names at points (Who’s who will be indicated for clarity purposes)

*Maia, my version of Darlin’, is mentioned in this. Additionally, in this version of events, she is dating Milo and Nirav, my version of Sweetheart. (They’re not the focus though)

/// 

Some quick stats for my version of David and Sam: David is 6’0” and Latino (specifically Colombian) // Sam is 6’3” and Black [Added in case you wanted to know a bit more about my vision]

///

My vision for this pair begins with Fred and Bright’s turning. As mentioned in the timeline, canonically speaking, David inquires about the two newest additions to the Solaire clan. I imagine this plays out in a vaguely similar way as Sam/Darlin’s first canonical meeting. Sam’s doing the whole “get off of our property / who the hell do you think you are?” routine, though he’s internally cursing himself when David introduces who he is. Upon realizing he’s speaking with the Shaw pack alpha, he becomes very formal with David: calling him Mr. Shaw and such, asking if he wants to speak with his clan leader, etc. David explains that he was coming to speak to William himself and that Sam doesn’t need to do anything. 

David asks for Sam’s name. Upon realizing who he is, David has to fight the urge to ask more about what happened on Halloween night directly. He’d heard some of the details and assumes William will disclose more, but there’s a part of him that wants to hear it firsthand. Instead, David tells Sam that if he ever needs any assistance given everything going on, he should reach out. David remembers how difficult it was after Gabe passed, and while this is a different situation, he knows how damaging isolation can be. Sam thanks him (out of politeness) before David heads off to meet with Will.  

Sam doesn’t take David up on the offer— At least for a while. The main reason why is because from his perspective, he doesn’t want to bother “Mr. Shaw” if he could handle it. He’s been a vampire for well-over a decade, he figures he’ll be fine once the dust settles. But after a particularly rough night looking after Fred and Bright, Sam bites the bullet and calls David. The two end up meeting somewhere with food because David figures food is the easiest way to get people to relax (and because he was hungry). Sam is still guarded when it comes to his venting, not wanting to share too much or put too much of a burden on David. But as the two talk and David offers what reassurance he can, Sam finds it a bit easier to spend time around the alpha.The two of them having one more of these meet ups before they go back to their respective lives, Sam viewing this as nothing more than a “one-off” thing.

Enter: Maia. Now, as mentioned, her timeline leads to a relationship with Milo and Nirav (Sweetheart) rather than with Sam. If she followed canon, she would have gone to Wonderworld in search of Quinn, met Sam, and then reached out to him for healing help after the vampire fight. The way canon diverges here is instead, she goes to Wonderworld looking for Quinn but doesn’t disclose her name or explain why she was searching for him after finding out he’s not there. When she gets into the fight with the vampires, she knows she’s in bad shape and needs help. She bites the bullet and instead shows up on Milo’s doorstep, asking if his partner can heal her while begging him not to tell David she’s back in Dahlia. Milo agrees to hide her return from David only if she explains everything to him and Nirav instead. 

Realizing it’s probably not the safest idea to stay at her own place, she begins crashing with Milo and Nirav while continuing her search for Quinn. As she tries to track him down, she ends up reaching back out to Sam, wanting to know what he knows while looking to work together to a certain degree. At this point, the two are acquaintances who have a mutual aversion to the same vamp.

David begins to suspect that Maia is back based on things he’s hearing around Dahlia— Though, he can’t simply confirm based on rumors alone. When he hears that a shifter’s been spotted around Wonderworld a handful of times, David decides to reach out and asks to meet with Sam. It’s been quite some time since the two saw each other one-on-one, but because of the base level of mutual respect (and trust, arguably), David invites Sam to his house for this meeting. Initially, Sam isn’t sure what David is looking to discuss but agrees nonetheless. Upon arriving, Sam finds himself getting distracted by David’s presence. Sure, they’ve seen each other before, talked for hours. But there’s something about being this close to the shifter after so long— David’s hair being a bit messier since he was relaxing at home. The way David’s biceps look on display thanks to the tank top he’s wearing. Or the way the scar on his lip— “Collins?” “Sorry, what were you saying, David?” 

David asks Sam if he’s been interacting with a shifter in the recent weeks. When Sam says yes, David begins listing a series of physical traits out— “Do those descriptors apply to the shifter in question?” Sam bites his tongue, cursing inside because he can tell that there’s no good way of answering this. But that hesitation tells David everything he needs to know. He asks Sam if Maia seems safe (relatively speaking as Maia’s definition of safe is far “looser” than David would like). Sam says that he doesn’t know much about what she’s got going on when she’s not around him, but that she seems like she’s doing alright when they speak. David takes this information in before explaining to Sam that he’s not going to interfere— Not yet at least. He wants to wait and see if Maia will disclose her return naturally. In the meantime, Sam should continue doing whatever he sees fit.  

After David finishes discussing Maia, Sam gets ready to leave as he figured that was all David wanted— But David stops him. “Sam, I wouldn’t invite you all the way out here for a ten minute conversation. At the very least, I should feed you or something.” Sam tells David that’s not necessary but it takes David insisting once for Sam to fold. As David cooks for Sam, the two strike up a conversation. They talk about various things— How Fred and Bright are doing, how the pack’s doing, personal life updates and such— and it feels reminiscent of those times they spoke with each other months prior. Sam ends up staying for at least another hour or two as they talk. When it’s time for him to go, David tells Sam that he wouldn’t mind making a habit of these talks if Sam is interested. Sam grins and tells David he likes the sound of that. 

Something I feel is important to Sam’s characterization is that he takes things slow when it comes to relationships. That’s not to say he doesn’t feel things sooner, but the way in which he acts on those feelings is paced. This in mind, I also 100% see David catching feelings first out of these two. As he and Sam begin regularly spending time with each other, David finds it easier to exist as someone other than the Shaw pack alpha. Meanwhile, Sam’s slowly realizing that David is “Mr. Shaw”— But he’s also “David”, who chastises him for not drinking enough blood or asks what he’s craving despite their shared awareness that Sam doesn’t have to eat. They start seeing new sides of each other as they grow closer, and it’s difficult for David to ignore his growing feelings. (Note: I imagine they spent the Sunbound Solstice together that year as an example. Mentioned because I intend to write a few headcanons about that day)

After this goes on for a while, Sam is eventually invited to a pack meeting. By this point, David has already confronted Maia about her being in Dahlia, what’s been going on with her and Quinn, etc. They’re holding a meeting discussing the situation, and David figures the Solaire Clan deserves to be kept in the loop. After all, Maia and Sam have some level of connection, and two of their own were turned by him. Sure, David could’ve set up another meeting with William to update the clan, but he thinks Sam is just as suitable an option. By this point, Sam and David have become a lot more relaxed with each other compared to the first time they met. But it’s not only in terms of formality (or rather, the lack thereof). There’s something in the way they interact with each other before and after the meeting. The way David watches how his pack interacts with Sam, taking in both the vamp and wolves’ body language. How his gaze softens ever so subtly when he’s speaking with Sam. The flickers of smiles or hushed laughs when they overhear something said by the other. It’s subtle yet impossible to miss. 

At the end of the meeting as people are clearing out, Asher stays behind because Beta duties and whatnot. As he walks Sam out with David, he’s taking in their interactions up close. As soon as Sam’s gone, Ash turns to David with a knowing smile. “So. You and Collins, huh~?” David rolls his eyes, “It’s not a big deal.” “So you admit there’s something going on?” “Will you come on so we can get out of here already?” David walks off but Asher’s busy grinning at his best friend regardless.

As Sam continues to become more and more present in David’s life, he begins to internally confront his own feelings. He’s well aware the way he feels about David is far from casual, but he isn’t sure how to go about dealing with those. He feels like him and David have a good thing going, and he doesn’t want to mess that up somehow. For the time being, they continue doing what they’re doing, just without the official label of dating per say. That’s not to say their dynamic doesn’t evolve, though. In public, David still plays it a bit professional/formal with Sam, primarily because of Shaw Security and because he’s still considering how their relationship may be perceived at times. But at a pack meeting? Their attraction is palpable. As soon as he sees Sam arrive at the den and walks over, Sam’s pulling him into a hug tight enough to lift him off the ground a bit. And despite David saying “Alright, alright. That’s enough, Cowboy”, he always pulls Sam into a kiss with a smile that tells you they might as well be the only people in the room. There’s a sense of intimate comfort they share with each other, and it’s something that continues to surprise them both. 

Around early December (aka right before Hot Boi Winter begins), David decides he wants to invite Sam to the cabins with the pack. The pack already expects Sam to be there— They’re all more than aware of how close the two are— but David doesn’t want this to just be about the cabins. Sam’s over at David’s place (a frequent occurrence by then) and as they’re laying together, David tells Sam he wants to ask him something. “If this is about the cabins, Asher’s already brought it up—” “Do you want to be my mate, Sam?” They both watch each other for a moment, and inside, David panics a bit. “Nevermind, forget I asked—” “Hey now, hold on a sec, David.” Sam stops David from leaving, holding the shifter’s hand. He apologizes for looking so shell shocked but assures David that it’s only because that wasn’t what he expected him to say. David starts to explain himself more, wanting to make it clear that he understands the question he’s asking. He talks about how much he enjoys any time spent with Sam. How it’s easy to get out of his head when Sam’s around. The way his mind seems to shut off when he feels Sam’s hands on him. All the nights they’ve spent together— Talking about their lives, sharing pieces of their past, comforting each other after difficult days, kissing and holding and loving on each other. “I’ve never had a mate before. I didn’t think that would be a possibility for me when I was appointed alpha. But I do know that being with you feels right. So I wanted to know if you wanted to be that to me too.” 

The entire time while David is talking, Sam’s gaze is fixed on the shifter before him. At no point did he ever doubt his feelings for David and vice versa. But to hear David speak so candidly about the way he feels and what he wants is something he didn’t realize he needed. “Ask me again.” “...What?” “Just do it, David.” He can’t help but roll his eyes with a bit of a grin before looking at Sam. “Do you want to be my mate?” Sam kisses David before smiling at him, “It’d be my honor, Mr. Shaw.” David groans at the last part, which makes Sam laugh before they kiss again. When they’re up at the cabins, prior to Sam’s arrival, David mentions that him and Sam are officially mates. Asher swears before handing a very smug looking Milo twenty dollars.

///

To make up for the next section of the timeline, I’m gonna talk pet names real quick: Typically whenever I see speaker/speaker ships, I see people assign what would be the listener's nickname to the other speaker.  Now I’ve got no issue with that whatsoever (/gen), it tends to hit. But when I was thinking about Lunar Healing, I was like “Hmm I’m not so sure that would be giving the vibes I need it to give.” As I was discussing this with Lexi, the lovely visionary they are, I was like “I like the idea of David using a Spanish term of endearment for Sam. I’m gonna go with ‘Querido’, but I still need something for Sam to call David.” It was at that moment that Lexi breathed into existence one of the best sentences I’ve ever heard: “Hear me out. I actually like Sam calling David Angel more”

When I picture the first time Sam uses it, David makes a face, brows furrowed. “What? You don't like it?” “It doesn't fit me.” “Now what makes you say that?” “Angels are too good for me to be one. They're sacred beings—” Sam pulls David close so their faces are an inch apart. In a low voice, “You're heaven on earth, David Shaw. You're sacred to me, and I want everyone to know that. That’s why I’m calling you ‘Angel’. Got it?” David has to take a moment to mentally recover and actually come up with a proper response (/pos)

I also like to imagine what outside reactions to the pet name would be like. Like David, Milo, Asher, and Maia are all hanging out to do something, Sam arriving late. When he gets there, he kisses David before saying “I'm sorry I'm late, Angel. Do you mind if I run to the bathroom real quick?” “Yeah, we'll wait for you to start.” And as soon as Sam is out of the room and David turns around, they're all like “So. That’s new~”

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Alright. So. One thing you will quickly learn about me is that when I explore a Redacted rarepair, I almost always explore Inversion in tandem. This next section will be covering how I think things would play out for Sam/David, but if that’s not your thing (or you’re tired of reading), feel free to leave on a high note. Now then:

[Let’s talk Inversion]

As mentioned in the main timeline, David and Sam are officially together when the E&E games roll around. Sam’s been hearing all about the behind the scenes from David, and when Vincent mentions wanting to go for Ayl (Lovely), it’s a given that he’ll be going as well. Vincent enjoys teasing him despite inviting Sam because “Your boy toy’s working security~” “Keep it up and I’ll tell him you called him my ‘boy toy’ (/lh)”. Sam wanted to get DAMN earlier so he could see David beforehand, but the sun obviously had other plans. I’d like to think that because of this, Sam scans the game/ceremony feed so he can spot the moments where David’s shown on screen. 

On David’s end, he’s admittedly excited knowing Sam will be there for the ceremony. With all the preparations and work, they hadn’t had much time to just soak up each other’s company. At least now, he’d be able to see his mate once this is over and appreciate him properly. At this point, we’re following how the ceremony canonically progresses up to when the rift opens and shades start spilling in. The same core moments play out: David making the call to bring the ward back down. Sam and Vincent trying to get to Lovely, ending up inside the ward before realizing it’s back up. They were both trapped inside the ward in canon, but now it means something entirely different. 

When the shades start spilling in, Sam is freaking out. He wants to go find David but he also doesn’t want to leave Vincent alone. Ayl is still relatively new to the magical world, he’s not a shifter, he’s got more disadvantages in a situation like this. Vincent will go looking for his partner regardless, and Sam decides to go with him. Later on when he realizes the ward is back up, he’s torn between wanting David in there with him and wanting him outside, safe and away from all this mess. He sees shifters running around, but he’s never seen David shifted at this point. It’s near impossible for him to focus long enough to try and find his mate, and he knows that if he’s not careful, that could get someone hurt.

Initially, David is focused on the job at hand. He’s the one that made the call to trap all these people, he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try to help as much as possible. Realizing Asher was inside the ward stung in its own way because he wanted his best friend out of harm’s way, but he pushes that down for the time being because he trusts Asher to handle the crisis before them. However— The moment he realizes Sam is inside the ward as well? His stomach is in knots. Like with Asher, he has to push down those anxieties, silently hoping things will work out in the end. If Ash tries to ask David about it, David shuts the conversation down. He doesn’t have time to think about this when people’s lives are at stake. 

As Inversion continues to play out, Sam is trying his best to focus on Vincent And Ayl as well as helping the people he can. There are moments where he swears he can feel David closeby, his head turning as he tries to spot him before telling himself to stay focused. Likewise, David is focusing his energy and attention on crisis response, ignoring his own exhaustion as he continues pushing forward. He keeps reminding himself that they’ll get out of this— That if he keeps going, eventually this nightmare will end and things will be alright.

What he doesn’t account for is Asher getting attacked by a shade. It’s an emotional breaking point for David—It was bad enough that his mate’s trapped in here with him, but now he was going to lose his best friend too. The way in which Sam’s name tears from David’s throat stops the vampire in his tracks. David’s been trying his best to stay calm and think rationally since the rift opened. But in that moment, all he can focus on is Asher in front of him, his hands slick with his best friend’s blood, Asher’s breath coming too fast and too shallow, his eyes closing, he’s not moving enough— “Angel— Angel, look at me.” There are tears streaming down David’s face as he looks at Sam. “Can you help him?” “I can try.” Sam is able to focus on healing Asher with David’s help, but it cuts deep seeing his mate in so much pain, even if emotional. 

The rest of Inversion plays out as it did in canon up to the point where Milo brings the ward down. As soon as he sees that the shades are gone, David goes to find Asher again, part of him still terrified that he’s gonna wake up and Ash will be gone. As the two of them make their way back out, Malakhi (Babe) nearly crashes into the both of them, trying to check on them both because they’ve certainly seen better days. David lets go of Asher so him and Mal can have their moment together, not wanting to interrupt. David would do his best to mask it externally, but inside he’s panicking because he hasn’t seen Milo, he doesn’t know how much of his pack made it out alive, and Sam’s nowhere to be seen. He gets confirmation that Milo’s alright while he’s still near Asher, and it’s enough to make him cry again. While waiting for Milo to come find them, he sees Sam again. The vamp is much more relieved to see David alive and in one piece, kissing him and pulling him into a tight hug before quickly apologizing as David winces. 

They don’t get much time to talk before David has to go address DUMP and such for his decisions. Sam recognizes the subtle shift when David takes on the role of alpha again, ignoring whatever’s going on in his own mind for the sake of responsibility. Sam asks David if he should stay, but David tells Sam that he’ll be fine and that he should go with Vincent/be with his clan for now. Sam is reluctant but agrees after promising to come back for David when DUMP’s done talking with him. It’s hours before Sam hears from David again, but as promised, he comes and picks him up once he’s been released. The drive home is silent, neither of them saying anything. It’s only when they make it inside and David sees his own reflection that he finally breaks, clinging to Sam as the weight of everything that happened hits him. 

/// So yeah, this concludes another fic adjacent ramble (/lh)! As mentioned at the start, I have many headcanons for these two, so let me know if that would be of interest to anyone. This was a labor of love, and I really hope that it was enjoyable to read through. (And, once more, if you actually read through all of this, hi, thank you, you’re wild /lh /pos)

[istherewifiinhell]

Oh i come back and its odo asmr

[madigoround]

🫥

[lacnunga]

Extreme sadness bc jess owens has uploaded a new vid that i just Know is full of juicy goss but she's doing a soft voice asmr like narration and like queen im sorry. I cant do it.

[ryuki-blogs]

I love my YT recommended. I have stuff like

Heater sounds

More heater sounds

Heater sounds... in Russian

[wall-eye]

Kul playlist!! with non spoilery explanations under the cut caues theres a whole 17 songs and i dont want a whole long post for it

loons at dusk- kinda like the overture of the playlist? its birdcalls with atomospheric chords the mountain song- [redacted] song to the bone- what should have been the only worry. [redacted] pov storm away- storm theming sparkle_emoji welly boots- [kul] and parents, [kul] and redacted, [kul] and redacted bird song- bird, violence, haunted by it common loon yodel- bird again, symbolizes the beginning of the change from [kul] to kul fish in the sea- sea shanty, mostly for vibes but also start of captain theming siren's song- captain song santiana- just a sea shanty again abandon ship- becomes first mate, fully pirate now ashes- time passing song two- kul cares so much. about hai about the captain about [redacted] dust- kul is getting older ozymandias- [redacted song] the man who sees tomorrow- [redacted song] hello darlin'- [redacted song]

[pathologicalreid]

hi!!! totally up to you if you want to write it (it maybe too self indulgent ahhhhh). but i was think of bau!reader (or bau!adjacent) who has known spencer for forever and has watched him "glow up"/become more confident and is now dating him, but is now more self-conscious that he will realize that he is totally out of her league since women are now hitting on him all the time and he is able to basically flip men in the field. something like that if you get the vibe? just a girlfriend who is worried her boyfriend will outgrow her and is scared they'll breakup. feel free to ignore! love your work sm!!!

a league of your own | S.R.

as your boyfriend seemingly evolves, you grow increasingly aware of the feeling of being left behind

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: flangst (heavy on the fluff, more like internalized angst) content warnings: in a bar but neither spencer nor reader are drinking, follows the events of 14x12 "hamelin", discusses the pronunciation of asmr word count: 1.4k a/n: self conscious reader is so important to me. this is for everyone who has a hard time naming their feelings. thank you for requesting!!

“He flipped him over the table?” You asked, raising your eyebrows as you looked up at Tara, who was talking about your boyfriend’s maneuvering of Arthur Brodie in the field. In passing, you had heard about the mark left on the suspect’s forehead, but you hadn’t heard the story of how he had gotten it – until now.

Bringing her cup to her lips, Tara nodded at you, her expression clarifying that it was as impressive as it sounded. You sighed at the newest addition to Spencer’s ever-evolving personality, it was hard not to think of them as grievances against you, but that’s what it felt like.

You looked over your shoulder to the bar, trying to scope out where he had disappeared to before you spotted a familiar mess of brown curls. From where you were standing, you could see him holding two drinks in his hands, but it wasn’t until he shifted his stance that you saw the girl that he was speaking with. “And that’s three,” Luke observed, shaking his head in disbelief as he watched the same scene as you.

Emily asked what he was talking about, but you tuned them out as you watched the interaction. You already knew this was the third woman to hit on him since the team entered the bar thirty minutes ago.

There was no mistaking it, your boyfriend was easy on the eyes, and you weren’t naïve enough to try to deny that fact. Still, you were having a hard time adjusting to seeing him garner exponentially more attention from people at the bar. “You better go get your man, or she might steal him away from you,” Luke taunted, nodding his head in the direction of the bar.

“What?” Your head snapped back in the direction of the bar, eyes wide as you peered across the bar where Spencer was talking animatedly to the blonde in front of him before he looked behind himself and gestured to you, prompting you to wave timidly at the both of them.

The girl sneered in your direction before spinning on her heel and trudging away, freeing your boyfriend to return to you at the table. “They didn’t have any limes, so they put a lemon in your Shirley Temple,” Spencer said apologetically, dropping a kiss on the part of your hair as he set the glass in front of you.

Shaking your head, you smiled up at him, “That’s fine, thank you.” You told him, placing your hand on the glass and spinning it to better access the straw.

If he noticed anything odd, he didn’t comment on it, instead deciding to contribute to Tara and Rossi’s conversation on ASMR.

As the team continued to chat around you, you just continued spinning your glass on the oak table, becoming more and more conscious of the way your thighs stuck to the leather booth. Your eyes only flicked up when you noticed people staring at you, “What?” You asked, heart racing as you had been caught daydreaming.

The five remaining members of your team at the table were all looking at you with similar curious looks, “Rossi’s headed out. He was just saying goodbye,” Penelope said, reaching across the table and awkwardly patting your hand.

“Oh,” you responded meekly, “Have a good night. Tell Krystall I said hi.” You shifted in your seat, the sound of your legs unsticking from the seat seemingly amplified tenfold in your self-conscious state.

As Dave made his way out, Spencer gestured for you to move over so he could sit next to you. Tara got up to get in line for the restroom and Luke and Garcia weaseled their way into one of their patented bickering matches, you nearly jumped when you felt Spencer’s hand settle on your thigh. “Alright,” he muttered, turning his head to you, “What’s up with you tonight?”

Frowning, you looked up at Spencer, brown eyes studying your face as he hunted for even the slightest hint of what had gotten into you. The only problem was you didn’t have a name for it yourself. It could be perceived as jealousy, but you weren’t concerned with anyone actually taking Spencer’s attention away from you, you were just feeling feelings. Unnamable feelings.

You brought your glass closer to you, the condensation being a welcome relief on your warm skin, pinching the straw as you took a sip of your drink. “Nothing’s up,” you said, stirring the lemon wedge around in your glass.

“Are you sure? You look flushed,” he said, pursing his lips thoughtfully before he gently pushed his water in your direction.

Brushing off his concern, you turned your attention to watching Luke and Garcia in an animated discussion on how to pronounce ASMR – Penelope insisted she was right, and Luke didn’t necessarily care either way. You only moved your gaze when the blonde from earlier passed by again, dragging her palm over Spencer’s shoulder, causing him to lean into you.

Flustered, you took a long sip of your drink before setting it back down, “Can we go?” You asked Spencer, pressing your lips together in a thin line as you looked at him expectantly.

As he began to put puzzle pieces together, he nodded, standing up and gathering your glasses to set them on the bar. You said your goodbyes before leading the way out and flipping Luke off as he called out something about protection, something that would have previously left Spencer embarrassed and stammering, but now made him chuckle as he held the door open for you.

Part of you was grateful for this sort of evolution in Spencer, he was, after all, more confident in every aspect of his life. Now waiting for the metro, you looked at him, longer hair, his work shirt unbuttoned at the top and pushed up to his elbows. The light breeze in the tunnel moved his hair as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, “Are you alright, love?”

Your shoulders drooped helplessly at the pet name, “You shoved a guy on a table?”

His face fell, “Is that what this is about? Me using force against a suspect?”

Quickly, you shook your head, “No, no. He pushed Tara, it’s not that at all,” you scrambled to reassure him, knowing he was afraid that his time in federal prison had made him a violent person. “It’s just… you shoved a guy onto a picnic table and you’re getting hit on by people in bars and you’re dressing differently and I’m just… me.” You hold your hands out as if you’re on display, looking down at the sundress you had thrown on and the sneakers you wore for comfort instead of style.

“Are you jealous that I’m getting attention from other people?” He asked, “Because I’ve never encouraged anyone.” That was true, last week a deputy sheriff had made a move on your boyfriend, and the only thing he had gotten in return was an earful on how you had made the deduction that eventually solved the case.

Bowing your head, you regretted ever saying anything in the first place, “No,” you groaned, “What’s that term for someone who can’t name their emotions? That’s me. Right now. At this moment.”

Spencer chuckled at your frustration, “It’s called alexithymia, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I’ve watched you change in front of my very own eyes in the last year, and I guess I’m just feeling left behind,” you admitted. “You’re a changed person and there’s nothing different about me.”

He tilted his head to the side curiously, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” you said desperately, hoping to get to the bottom of your conflicting emotions.

“Did you love me before?”

You froze, looking up at him, “Of course.”

He raised his eyebrows, reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “And you love me now?”

Nodding, you stepped closer to him, “Very much so.”

“Then there’s nothing else I could possibly ask of you,” he told you, smiling as you blushed. “You don’t need to change in time with me, and – since we’re being honest – I’ve always felt like I’m the one lagging behind you. So, maybe I’ve just been playing catch-up.”

You frowned, moving even closer to him as the platform grew crowded, “Well, now I feel ridiculous.”

“Not ridiculous,” he murmured, “Just human,” Spencer amended.

[m00nlight-ramblings]

BG3 Companion Modern AU Headcanons

These random thoughts popped into my mind and I had to write them down. I love these little weirdos, and some of them probably don't make sense but OH WELL.

Should I do a Part 2 with more companions?? Let me know - my inbox and requests are open!

------

Astarion

This dude's got iPad kid energy - he loves to scroll Tiktok for hours.

He gets bi-weekly pedicures. And not the basic kind - the full on 1.5 hour long with the massage and the mask and the exfoliation.

His favorite holiday is Halloween. He plans his costume starting in August.

He'd be the type of person to be walking through a mall, see a Claire's, and spontaneously decide to get his ears pierced idk.

Is really into metal. Like, you'll come home and Metallica will be blasting and you walk into the bedroom and he's folding laundry and just like, "Oh, HELLO, Darling!" but will have to scream it over the volume in which he's listening to music

Will truly take an hour picking out the perfect wine to pair with your dinner...he's definitely a wine snob.

The cheapest article of clothing Astarion owns is from Banana Republic and it's an undershirt...everything else is ~*very fancy*~

Loves watching all types of vampire movies/TV shows. He can often be heard saying, "Oh no, they got that all wrong" under his breath.

He definitely reads like 1-2 books a week. He's recently really gotten in spicy smut books (he definitely got recommendations from BookTok).

For sure falls asleep to ASMR videos.

Gale

This man loves HGTV *queue Home Depot commercial music*

Has the most absolutely beautiful, clean home you've ever seen with about 30 bookcases CRAMMED with books. The books are the only disorganized thing in his home because he constantly is reading them, so alphabetizing them is useless.

Pinterest is his most used phone app. His boards are carefully curated. That man has a recipe/inspiration pic/quote for EVERYTHING.

Definitely volunteers at the animal shelter once a month. Often times has to talk himself out of bringing a cat home.

LUSH is his favorite store at the mall. He loves them bath bombs.

He THROWS DOWN at holiday parties...Christmas? Thanksgiving? The table is SET. The decorations are UP. He's wearing an APRON because he's been cooking ALL day. The playlist is PERFECT.

Speaking of holidays, he has matching pajama sets for everyone in the household. For every. Holiday.

Fall is absolutely his favorite season. "Sweetheart...have you ever watched 'When Harry Met Sally'? Perfect autumn movie...also I bought a new scarf today to go with my new peacoat. And mittens. And a new hat...it's getting cold outside."

He definitely has a Live. Laugh. Love. adjacent sign somewhere in his home

He definitely needs glasses to read. And he for sure has those librarian chains so that he can just take them off and they hang, instead of losing them.

Karlach

Absolutely loves to eat meals watching Youtube videos.

Imagine her in Times Square? She tears the M&M's store UP.

Is obsessed with documentaries. She often says things like "I can't believe there's so much stuff to LEARN out there!"

Definitely has a Squishmallow collection. And she rotates which one she sleeps with every night so they all get a chance.

Is absolutely the worst cook of all time but tries really really hard...however, she can make a mean boxed mac n' cheese.

Has an obsession with sugary cereal. There's always Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Fruity Pebbles in her cabinets.

Certified Switie for SURE.

Is really into astrology. Definitely has said, "Oh, you're just saying that because you're a SCORPIO" or the like many, many times.

Absolute Starbucks addiction (venti iced caramel macchiato, extra caramel).

Has monthly "girl's nights" (but everyone is invited) at her place. The rules are: pajamas only, junk food, romcoms, and a playlist of the best pop songs in the past 20 years.

------

How'd y'all like it...should I make a part two with other companions?! Remember my inbox is open and I'm accepting requests!! I'd love to write some stuff so send it in!

[thebubblesoutlet]

Angelica asmr (who made a whole lot of funny leftist tumblr-adjacent queer content) making a hard right pivot and coming out as transphobic, trump-supporting radfem because of her "christian beliefs" then CONFLATING paedophilia with queernes is NOT something I had on my 2023 bingo cards

[penncilkid]

Hello hello! My name is PK and I'm a fervent enjoyer of non-canon ships. I'm not a fic writer exactly but I've been told "Where's the fic OP" twice now by my friends. So I thought I'd format one of my fic-adjacent ramble sessions for Tumblr!

Pairing: Milo/David [No Sweetheart or Angel, wanted to go easy on myself] [MDNI*] [Let's call this "canon reminiscent /lh]

Word Count: 3.2 K

*(I wouldn't consider this smut by any means but there's a few lines that make me want to add this as a tag)

[As a reminder, I diverge from canon quite a bit with this. This is just one route I could see leading to Milo and David getting together]

My vision for this pair is that they start getting closer in a more than just friends way a little bit after Gabe dies. Not immediately because have some decorum, but it would start during that transition period for David as Alpha. Asher is trying his best to help but is also grappling with the whole Beta thing, so he feels like he's in a complex position. But him and Milo can see that David's not doing great so Milo's like "Fine, I'll bite the bullet" and tries to confront David about it.

At first it's subtle, asking David if he needs help with something, if he wants anyone from the pack to stay after for meetings, if he wants them to pick up a shift so he can have the day off, etc. But David is too stubborn to accept any of it so he keeps brushing them off. This ends up culminating in a "fight" one day where Milo again tries to make an offer that David shoots down. Milo sort of snaps and is like "Alright, what the fuck gives? Why are you acting like you're too good to get help anymore, David?" David says he doesn't know what he's talking about, Milo calls bullshit. It doesn't turn into a screaming match but it's enough of a heated argument that Milo storms out of the den.

In the days following, Milo either calls out sick, switches shifts with people, anything to avoid seeing David. David brushes it off, thinking he's got more important things to worry about if Milo's going to throw a fit. But of course, Ash being Ash means this stuff can't fly for long, so he tells both David and Milo that he needs help with something at an odd time of day and then "coincidentally" doesn't show up. When Milo gets to the den, he's real tempted to get back in his car and leave. It's a mix of still being a little frustrated with David and being embarrassed that this "fight" has gone on for as long as it has. He walks up to David (who was waiting outside for Asher) and is like "Lemme guess, you're waiting for Ash?" "How did you...?" "Fucker told me the same thing."

They do some lighthearted bitching about their friend, which eases the tension. There's a bit of silence and right as Milo gets ready to apologize for speaking out of turn, David apologizes first. He acknowledges that Milo was right in what he said and that he's been struggling with everything changing, but he hasn't wanted it to show on the outside. Milo makes a light jab at David, "Alright well did you really expect that to go over my head? C'mon, David, we've known each other since we were kids. Gimme some credit" To make up for it, the two of them go out to eat, all that's chill. Cut to when Milo gets home, maybe has a drink or two as he's winding down. David sends him a message, confirming he made it home alright (because I've always latched onto the idea that he's super attentive to that given what happened with Gabe). Milo sends David a quick reply and wonders why seeing that message made him feel some type of way (romantic? Who knows, not Milo that's for sure /lh)

Now if I remember correctly, the audio where Angel learns about Gabe, it's been around 3 years since his passing. Keeping this in mind and in the spirit of being canon reminiscent, I think around/after this point is when Milo's feelings for David start to really bubble up. They've been building for awhile, much to his dismay. He's trying to play it cool, but his heart's in his damn throat any time David touches him casually or whenever the two of them are assigned to a job together. And he knows it's getting bad enough where he might lose focus, so he swallows his pride and does what he's been avoiding for months, if not years: asking Asher for advice.

"Alright, look: You and me both know that you had a lil crush on David when we were in high school. How the fuck did you get over it? I'm drowning, Ash." If this conversation is happening on the phone or at Asher's place, cue him yelling to Babe that they owe him 20 bucks (because it's funny to me <3). Asher asks Milo why he wants to get over the feelings so bad and Milo's like "'Cause this is David we're talking about." "So what?" "We've got... history. That complicates shit all on its own." "And?" "....Alright fine, and I'm also terrified he's not gonna feel the same. Happy?" Asher is being the little shit that he is, putting his arm around Milo's shoulder. "Listen. If I know David— And believe me, I do— What ya gotta do is be direct. If he doesn't feel the same, that's one thing. But if you even want a chance, you gotta be straight up with him. If you tried to ask him out casually, he'll just assume you're being friendly because that's what you are right now. Friends." Milo takes all this in and is like, "Nope, just gonna shove these feelings down for eternity." "I'll tell Marie—" "I will beat your ass." He knows Asher has a point though. Any idea Milo might've had could be easily construed as them just chilling as friends. But he doesn't really act on anything for awhile.

Now, before we get into the next phase of this, some added backstory: David had a crush on Milo growing up. I'm thinking a little after high school (won't say college necessarily since I don't picture them in college but like, young adulthood phase). He'd always found Milo incredibly attractive and found his boldness admirable in general. David was constantly thinking about what he had to do for others and how to make the pack look good (since he was the Alpha's kid then the pack Beta). Milo always felt incredibly refreshing to be around. But he figured Milo would never be interested in because David's just himself so he eventually got over it. Cut to that argument him and Milo had a few years back. He remembers that night when they made up because dinner had been fine but all he could do was focus on Milo. It felt nice to just hang out with him without the pressures of being Alpha. And he enjoyed listening to him talk about anything because he always had a strong opinion. I think around then is when his past feelings awoke again but there was a new obstacle: He was the Alpha of the pack. It wasn't like before, things were different. He'd never have a chance to pursue Milo without feeling like he had pushed Milo into a corner somehow. So again, he tried his best to push his feelings down, appreciate and value the friendship he had with Milo and leave it at that. It was enough to just have Milo in his life, even if it wasn't going to go any further.

Back to how these two end up together: the Moonbound Solstice. They're all at David's place, everyone's having a good time together. Milo's chilling, talking to someone from the pack when Asher cuts in and is like "Sorry, just gonna steal him for a minute" "Ash, you can't just— AY okay okay I'm coming" They walk off, somewhere far from the kitchen to minimize the risk of David overhearing. In hushed voices: "Alright, so what's the plan?" "Ash, what the fuck are you talking about?" "Milo, it's the Solstice. This is the perfect time to make a move." "Are you out of your damn mind? This is the last place I should be hitting on— On you know who." "What are you talking about it, it's perfect! The whole pack's here, no one would even notice." "Look, he's already got his hands full hosting the Solstice at his own place for a change. I'm just gonna chill and enjoy the night for what it is." Asher is pouting as Milo walks off, immediately thinking of what he can do to help nudge David Milo's way. (Unhinged alt route: Ash giving Milo a flat so he has to stay the night)

Cut to the end of the night, people are heading out and whatnot. David is subtly trying to get people out because he loves his pack but his senses need a break. Asher (+ Babe, package deal) and Milo offer to stay and help clean, and David lets them since it's only a handful of people. Milo's keeping his cool, vibing to the much lower playing music when: "Babe, what do you mean you have a work call you need to take tonight? Can't it wait?" "Sorry, Ash, I need to be home in the next twenty minutes" "Alright. Guess we're heading early." Milo thinks nothing of it until he makes eye contact with Babe. They smile with a sickeningly sweet wave. Those bastards. Before Milo can try to rope Ash into staying somehow, the two of them are gone.

When Milo and David are alone, Milo tries his best to focus on the task at hand because feelings or not, he's not gonna do a shit job at cleaning so David has to clean up after him. Once the bulk of it is done, David mentions that he needs to grab something from upstairs or maybe says he's going to go change out of his clothes (I imagine he put on something better looking but not as comfortable for the solstice). Milo's chill with that, getting his keys, phone, other personal belongings together. He happens to slip into the kitchen though, stealing a bit more of the food David had made for the solstice. While he's stealing (said with love), he hears very close to his ear: "You can take some home if you want." He nearly punches David, gripping his arm as he tries to slow his heart rate. "You tryin' give a guy a heart attack, Shaw (/lh)" because he legit didn't hear David come back downstairs. "Maybe if you weren't busy trying to steal some food, you would've heard me— Greer (/lh)." Milo rolls his eyes with a grin and there's a moment of quiet when he realizes his hand is still on David's arm.

He lets go, clearing his throat, confirming that it's actually cool if he wants to take some of the food home with him. David says sure, giving him a container to fill (or Milo takes whatever the food came in, not sure what I'm picturing David's cooking set-up to be). David walks Milo to the door (as a good host does) and the two of them talk in the doorway for a few minutes about upcoming jobs, responsibilities, all that formal shit. There's another quiet moment as the two of them watch each other. Inside, Milo's like "Alright, no one else is here. This is as good a chance as any." The second he gets ready to ask David out on a more proper date, David instead says "Good night, Milo" and essentially closes the door in his face. Milo stares for a moment before cursing himself in Spanish (my HC), walking to his car and muttering about how "Of course he was just being polite, what the fuck were you thinking?" On the other side of the door, David is groaning into his hands, face warm as he tries to calm down because he came way too close to making a move on Milo.

Intermission (Wow, you're still reading? Damn /pos): I wanted to think of how to push them closer to a confession before they actually get together and eventually settled on "sickfic shenanigans". Insert deliriously sick Milo whose phone died and he can't find a charger for the life of him so David goes over to his place to check on him. Initially, he's trying to get David to leave because "I can handle myself fine". But that doesn't last long because admittedly, he feels like shit and has been for the past 12 hours. The dynamic quickly turns into Milo convincing David to stay then being so sick his filter is hanging on by a thread (/lh). "Why do you have to go rush off so fast?" "Milo, I have a pack to take care of—" "First off, I'm part of the pack— (cue Milo coughing) And second, they'll be fine without their Alpha for a few hours." Milo's playing it off as lighthearted but David can tell he doesn't want to be cooped up inside alone on top of feeling like shit physically. A little later, when Milo's on the verge of falling asleep (as many do while sick), he's like "Y'know, it's fucking wild you don't got a mate, David. Like look at you. Doesn't make sense" David laughs at first, thinking Milo's sick delirious (which he is, but that's affecting his filter, not the validity of his words). He's like "ay, why are you laughing, I'm serious. Look— if I were ya mate, I'd treat ya right. I'd cook, I'd work extra hours so I could see ya, I'd make sure we're the best dressed wherever we go— not to mention, I got a great dick." David writes this off as Milo being sick and spewing nonsense but never forgets the words. Meanwhile, Milo (after getting over the sickness) is convinced he dreamt saying any of that to David.

Back to the present, David's been a bit stressed with work as of late so Asher suggests the pack take a trip/weekend vacation. He says he'll handle figuring everything out, letting David take a backseat this time. They go somewhere, a resort, a hotel, something that involves people having rooms they're staying in. Everyone's having a good time, chilling all day, night rolls around. David's in his room when he realizes he forgot to pack something— can be anything. Toothpaste, a charger, something for his hair, the specifics aren't important. He texts Asher, asking if he has the thing he forgot and Ash is like yeah. David asks Ash which room he's staying in, Ash texts him the room number. David leaves his room, goes there, knocks and waits patiently. Door opens, and who's standing there? Milo, shirtless and in the middle of brushing his teeth or some shit.

David's checking his phone to see if he went to the wrong room but nope, numbers match. "Asher must've made a typo. I just needed to borrow something from him." "Well, what did you need? Maybe I have it." Before David can leave, Milo's busy ushering him in, closing the door so he can finish brushing his teeth before finding what David needs. They're making idle conversation, talking about what they spent their respective days doing. While Milo's talking, David's kind of staring at his back, not processing a word he's saying. Milo turns around and notices and is like "What? Don't tell me there's a bug on me and you didn't say shit? (/lh)" and David is trying to think of a good cover up. Milo tries to lighten the mood, says he's just messing with David before going to find whatever David's looking to borrow. He finds it, hands it over when for a split second, his eyes land on David's crotch. David leaves shortly there after but all night, Milo's like "...That was a boner... why the fuck did he have a boner?" But again, Milo's mind is like "Nah, I'm reading this wrong somehow."

Now, I'm painting a picture: it's the next day, Ash, Milo, David, few others from the pack plan on doing something together while on the trip. Asher gets there a bit late but is somehow on time compared to David, who shows up minutes after (that man was up all night pining). Ash notices Milo's not here yet and has a devious idea (as always). He asks David to go check on Milo so they can go. "Why me?" "You were the last one here, it's only fair. Now shoo." David rolls his eyes but goes, getting to Milo's room, knocking. He can hear Milo's definitely inside because he's cursing and complaining. He knocks again before the door swings open to reveal a mildly disgruntled Milo Greer (my vision is he's in pants and a white tank with his name chain. The in between outfits outfit).

He asks what David is doing there, David explains that Asher sent him to pick up Milo, Milo's like "What time is it— Jesus fucking Christ." The issue at hand is Milo can't find an article of clothing that he swears he put in his bag. He's been trying to get by with alternative options but none of them look the way he wants them to, which is making him quietly lose his shit. David stifles a laugh, to which Milo lasers in on. "And what do you think you're laughing at?" "You haven't changed since we were kids, that's all." Milo scoffs but admittedly, the sentiment puts a smile on his face. Almost immediately after that moment, he finally finds what he was looking for (tucked under something, irrelevant right now). He starts to get ready, pulling his shirt on, buttoning it up but let's say a button or two is fighting him for whatever reason. Without a second thought, David walks up, buttoning it for Milo. Milo's having an internal moment as a result, staring at David's hands then his face. David finishes and looks up to catch Milo staring. He clears his throat, saying something about waiting in the hall when Milo catches his wrist.

"Can I take you out on a date?" "What?" "I don't know what or where yet, but I just— I know this is probably stupid and I'm shooting myself in the foot here, but Asher's gonna kick my ass if I don't do something so— Can I take you out on a date, David?" David's taken aback. "Wait... so you were serious. That time you were sick. All that stuff you said about being a good mate for me." "THAT WASN'T A DREAM?" Cue Milo letting go of David's hand and nearly cursing himself out, running a hand through his hair because now he's mortified. "I can't believe I actually said all that shit to you—" "Did you mean it?" "Huh?" For the first time, David's not looking at Milo like a friend or pack Alpha. The look in his eyes screams pure, unfiltered attraction. "Yes or no, Milo." Milo's face is hot, "Course I meant it. I'd treat you great if you gave me the chance to show you." David steps closer, gripping Milo's face gently and tilting it up towards his. "Show me." Milo grins before pulling David down to him, the kiss they shared far better than the ones he remembered from spin the bottle games they'd played as teens. This kiss felt deeper and closer than that could ever compare. The moment they break away, gasping for air, Milo's busy unbuttoning his shirt. David asks what he's doing, to which Milo replies "I'm about to savor as much time with you as I can before I have to see Asher's smug face. Unless you'd like to explain how your hair became a mess between the time you left to find me and when you get back?" David laughs before pulling Milo to him again.

So yeah, that concludes this fic adjacent ramble (/lh)! I love rarepairs and rambling, so if people enjoy this, I may format some other rambles as they arise. I think I've got some Sam/David tucked away somewhere, so let me know. If you actually read all of this, wow, okay, thank you (/lh /pos)

[godspeedviper]

Saturday Night Fever - Jack Delroy x F!Reader (SFW)

𖤐 Requested by Anon: Politely requesting some Jack Delroy x OC hurt/comfort. MAN AM I A SUCKER FOR some good old fashioned caretaking – a bad day, a cold, something has our intrepid host down but trying to push through and the OC makes it their task to cheer him up.

𖤐 Synopsis: Jack Delroy wakes up the day after his fated Halloween Special in 1977. Pure fluff.

𖤐 Type: Fluff || Comfort || Caretaking || Sickfic || Fix It fic || Post Canon

𖤐 Word Count: 1848

𖤐 Rating: Gen || SFW || Mentions of Medication

𖤐 A/N: Sorry this took so long! I had a real bad month (chronic illness) and as a result i've been listening to a lot of ASMR whilst bedridden and writing this kinda helped me through the weeks as well. ALSO the inspo for the "plot" came from this commercial and a comment on that video that said they, and i quote, "hated the dissonant piano at the end". It got me thinking of how surreal it would be to wake up to that while sick. Additionally, the described furniture in this fic looks like this. Final note, the NBC nightly news anchors at the time (1977) were John Chancellor and David Brinkley. ANYWAY i just want to see Jack happy and taken care of :(

  Jack stirred in his bed at the sound of strange dissonant piano keys in the distance. His eyes fluttered open, catching a blurry glimpse of the tail end of a commercial. He had a violent headache and his whole body ached. He tried to speak but his throat felt scratchy and sore. 

“Hey there handsome!” said a voice “Shh… There there now, try and take it easy.” 

“Minnie?” Jack croaked out. 

“If you’d like me to be, sure.” Replied the voice with a smile. 

  She reached out to the coffee table in front of them and picked up a small hand towel. She dipped it into an adjacent bowl filled with water and then used the damp cloth to gently pat Jack’s clammy forehead. He let out a relieved sigh in return as the cloth felt cool against his feverish skin and soothed his headache. Each muscle in his body slowly relaxed, sinking back into a curved chartreuse sofa.

“Oh you poor thing you’ve had a real long night haven’t you.” 

“What happened?” Jack mumbled. 

“You caught an autumn cold and went on to do your Halloween special, but the heat from those TV lights in the studio made you start running a real high fever.” She said, unfolding the damp towel and placing it flat across Jack’s forehead. “The fever was so high it started messing with your head on set and you began to talk nonsense about the devil and all live on your show!” 

Jack’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, everything had seemed so vivid and felt so real that it seemed unlikely to have all been a hallucination. 

“Then… How did I end up here?” He spoke cautiously, both from the ache in his throat and out of fear. “And where is ‘ here’ exactly?” 

“You’re at the big boss’ penthouse atop the UBC building. He has this place for when he stays working late, comes up here to catch a few zzz’s then goes right back to meetings and the like. Figured it would be easier to keep you from the prying eyes of tabloids here than in a hospital.” She said in a very matter of fact voice, as if Jack should have deduced it all. 

  Jack tried to make the effort to sit up and look around, but his body felt far too weakened and pained to complete the task. He only managed to raise his head and lift his shoulders a few centimeters off the sofa before collapsing back onto the cushy furniture. 

“Oh you poor thing,” Jack heard her say as he shut his eyes and groaned in pain. 

“Wait…” He mumbled. “If… if the fever was that bad? Why am I not with a doctor or in the emergency room or an ambulance?” 

“That’s what I’m here for silly!” She laughed, shrill and dainty like the ringing of a small bell. “I’m a home caregiver hired by the big boss. You can call me Nurse Minnie if you’d like, since that’s what you blurted out earlier. It’s my job to make sure you’re right as rain in no time.” 

“Uh-huh…” Jack nodded slowly. He was still in disbelief, but he had no other explanation for how he was feeling or for what he remembers experiencing. 

Regardless, his fever and headache were very very real and so, he tried relaxing his tense muscles, slowly shifting into as comfortable a position as possible. 

“Would you like some tea now that you’re awake?” She asked, daintily batting her lashes at him. 

“Um, yes please.” It sounded almost like a question coming from Jack, but she didn’t seem to mind. 

“Alright then, wait right here Mr. Delroy and I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

 Jack’s large, dark eyes followed her as she stood up from the sofa and took her leave. He then turned his attention to the coffee table on his right side and looked over all the items laid on top; a thermometer, some small hand towels, some medication, the television remote, and the aforementioned bowl of water. He reached out for the remote – the buttons were rubber but the body was made of sleek wood that felt cool to the touch – turning up the volume and flipping through the channels until he saw a picture of himself on the nightly news with a headline ‘Is Television Going to Hell?’

“After last night’s heartstopping broadcast, Night Owls with Jack Delroy has skyrocketed to the top of the Nielsen charts as viewers everywhere proclaim this to be the most frightening thing put to screen since The Exorcist hit theaters back in ‘73.” Said a man in a sandy colored suit jacket with a matching color tie. 

“That’s right, David.” Replied the man sitting to his left. “A spokesman for UBC kindly let us know that the entire night was scripted and to rest assured that no one was harmed in the making of the program.” 

“Now hold on a minute, John. That isn’t entirely true!” The man in the sand colored suit interrupted. 

“Correct,” His co-host replied with a swift synchronicity rarely seen outside of tennis matches. “That same UBC representative also made it clear that while the entire broadcast was scripted the titular host, Jack Delroy, was running a high fever that night, resulting in his erratic behavior towards the end of the program. However, he has since been hospitalized and is on the mend.” 

  Jack sat there with his mouth agape, trying to wrap his mind around what the newscasters were saying. His thoughts were quickly interrupted as his caretaker returned to the living room, placing a tea cup and accompanying saucer on the table right in front of him. 

“Here you are,” She said, sitting on the edge of the sofa near his hips and helping him slowly sit up. “Please be careful, it’s hot.” 

“Oh, oh thank you.” He replied, slowly reaching for the teacup. 

“I see you’re catching yourself up to speed.” She said, nodding towards the television set. “How does it feel to be at the top?” 

“Hot.” He said with a chuckle. 

“Was it worth it?” 

Jack froze, unsure of what to say. His eyes flitted down towards the teacup, then back up at her, but she was giggling along with his statement. Jack nervously smiled, fully doubting his senses. 

“Oh Mr.Delroy, even when you’re not on camera you still have a sense of humor.” 

“Sorry,” He said sheepishly as his cheeks started to blush. “I can’t help it… And please, call me Jack.” 

  She smiled back at him in earnest, mindlessly reaching for the discarded hand towel which had rolled off his forehead and onto his lap. “Don’t be sorry about that, Jack.” She gave him a poignant look. “Most people let fame get to their head. They become rude, ungrateful, and just plain old unpleasant. I will happily take your bashful apologies and polite sense of humor over all that any day.” 

“Thank you.” He said, blush spreading to the whole of his face. 

  Jack finished his tea in silence as she lay back and watched the remainder of the news broadcast with him. The anchors had moved past Jack’s news story and onto the Son of Sam, whose court date had just been set for May of the following year. Once he finished his drink, Jack tried to stand up and take away the used porcelain, but he was quickly stopped by his nurse. 

“Please, let me take care of you Jack. It’s what I’m here for.” She held the teacup in one hand and used the other to gently press against his chest, lowering him back onto the sofa. “Trust me, you are not a burden, this is no bother.” 

“A-alright.” Jack reluctantly lay back and let go of his worries. 

  She set the teacup back on the table for a moment to reach for the blanket draped over Jack’s legs and pull it up towards his neck, tucking him in. Once he was comfortable she grabbed the thermometer off the table and brought it to his lips. Jack complied without words, allowing her to place the item into his mouth and under his tongue, holding it there as she lifted the teacup and left the room. She swiftly returned, taking the instrument from his lips to read the temperature, reacting only with a soft disappointed sigh. 

“That bad, huh?” Jack tried to laugh but choked out a cough instead. 

“Shh shh let your throat rest so the tea can do its work.” She cooed, reaching out for another hand towel. “You’re doing much better but your temperature is still within feverish range. I’m going to apply another damp towel to your head and then let you rest. Unless you need anything else?” 

“An aspirin perhaps?” Jack whispered. 

“Oh, does your head hurt? I’m sorry, I should have thought to offer you some sooner so you could have taken it along with your tea. I’ll go get you a glass of water for that and then I’ll massage your head to make up for it.” 

  She stood up and quickly left the room before Jack could try and protest the unnecessary apology. Instead, he slowly propped himself back up into a sitting position, ready to receive her offerings of care. Upon her return she smiled at the sight of him, waiting and ready like a good little boy. She picked out a pill from a small bottle and handed it to Jack. Much like with the thermometer, Jack submitted to her care and took it without protest, like a good boy indeed. He lay back down and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the throbbing in his head, while she picked up the remote and turned off the TV. She stood back up and Jack could hear her walking around the room. He then heard the sound of her rustling through a shelf of records, followed by the unmistakable scratch of the needle over the vinyl disc. David Bowie’s Space Oddity began playing softly in the background, and she returned to once more sit on the edge of the sofa alongside Jack. 

“I’m going to place another damp towel on your forehead to help break your fever, alright?” She whispered. 

  Jack nodded and settled into the sofa. Her gentle whispers made his ears tingle, as did the slightly spongy sound of her dabbing the damp towel along his face before laying it across his forehead. She then put her fingertips onto the edge of his scalp, right where it met the skin, and began rubbing them in as a gentle massage. Jack sighed in relief, causing her to giggle under her breath. The droning melody of the music in combination with the head massage and medication was causing Jack to feel as if he were melting directly into the furniture. He began to moan as the overwhelming relief began to feel almost erotic in nature. As Jack was slipping back into oblivion, he swore he could hear her whispering ‘good boy’ every now and again, until he succumbed to sleep. 

Ao3 || Request || Ko-Fi || WiPs

[utilitycaster]

weird recommendation perhaps but i am in a liminal hellspace of deciding to wait for my client to call me back vs. going home and driving back for the originally scheduled time of 1 pm and I am going to wait another few minutes. Anyway if you are looking for soothing podcasts today, The Empty Bowl is always a favorite (Justin McElroy and Dan Goubert ASMR cereal podcast, nothing other than cereal and cereal-adjacent things are ever discussed) but specifically, Song Exploder's recent episode about Our House by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young is really good. Graham Nash has a very calming voice, the song itself is an oldie (and a quiet domestic one no less), and it's just a really good interview! It came on yesterday during a drive and I enjoyed it a lot!

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

if the anubis house residents had tiktoks:

nina def would be a story time tiktoker, but her entire audience thinks she’s just very committed to the bit, when in actuality she’s being 100% honest

fabian is deeply entrenched in booktok, but on the educational/classics side. he’s constantly giving book reviews, and sometimes also posts videos about niche historical facts

amber is a fashion vlogger. she models things herself, and sometimes ropes her other housemates into it too. she also posts a lot of popular “get ready with me”s

patricia is definitely late to every trend, and just posts random shit but “ironically”. she only has tiktok bc joy made her download it

alfie and jerome have a joint account where they’re in a constant prank war, posting videos like “hiding under my bed to grab my roommate’s foot!” and stuff like that. they tried to post a thirst trap once, but they got cyberbullied into taking it down

mara is a science tiktoker, like the young female hank green/bill nye. she posts videos of science experiments and explains how they work

joy is also on booktok, but is very much entrenched in the fantasy/romance/young adult camp. her book reviews are legendary (and always out of pocket)

mick posts videos of his workout routines (and thirst traps)

eddie does drum covers of popular songs, and also posts videos of himself prancing patricia

kt is deep on swiftie tiktok, and she’s definitely a gaylor adjacent analyst. her lyric deep dives are insane

willow has a wildly successful asmr account with like 2mil followers

[traegorn]

Have you seen the YouTube channel Magical Crafting? I just want to know what you think

So I hadn't heard of it before this ask.

So I went to try and watch an episode.

And immediately got hit with an ASMR-adjacent voice and soft music and immediately had a visceral reaction and had to stop the video thirty seconds in.

So I have no idea if it's any good or not. My brain won't let me find out.

So, uh, I dunno?