#it was a wild evening i tell you hwat

[legendofmorons]

How to get adopted in ten steps (or less)! Part 2

Pairing: platonic Myrah (OC) &Chain

Rating: G

Summary: Myrah takes the time to share about her past with the boys- Wind asks about the actual calamity and realizes how many wounds are still healing.

Warnings: Some grief

Other: Let me know if I missed anything

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Breakfast is a small affair, the cahin being dropped off at Myrah's while Twilight and Wild head off to collect more food supplies.

The boys find themselves asking about the past of the land- history if you will.

"What about the great sea?" Wind asks, helping Myrah water her garden.

"I don't know much about that, but they say a hero came out and saved it. It's not well recorded - nothing is. But I've always figured they meant the sea that lurlein touches."

"There's a sea?" Warriors asks, sounding surprised.

"Yeah, lot of good fish that way."

"And what about the war across ages?" Warriors asks.

Myrah laughs at that, "I don't know about that. Do you mean Gannon and the hero?"

"No."

"I don't know much about it then. But there might be a story about it in a ruin."

"Huh."

"Tell me, what stories did you grow up hearing?" Time asks.

Myrah looks up, still kneeling in her garden. She looks so calm.

"Well... I remember hearing stories about heroes, probably about you guys. There was a hero from a sea that spread most of Hyrule. I also heard about a hero of twilight when I was young. They said he was a shifter. There was also a story about a hero who had healing magic."

Several people gasp, surprised by that.

"I always figured the stories had some truth- but I also figured they got fucked up by time."

"Any other stories?"

"My family always told me about a boy who eared entrance to gerudo town. Something about proving himself. They say the boy earned our respect."

"Yeah?" Time asks.

"Yeah."

"So... tell us what growing up was like for you?" Sky asks. Always interested in how things changed.

Myrah laughs softly, "It was- crazy."

"Was it?"

"Yeah, between me, my cousin, Mipha, and Link- it was a lot."

"Was he always wild?"

"We were wild children. I remember him teaching me how to make a grass whistle... And he loved Gordon spice so mich- his mom had to hide it."

"I wish we could hide it." Legend huffs.

"Oh- it's easy to hide." Myrah says as if she's dome it before. More than once.

"How do you even know that?" Sky asks, sounding exhausted at the thought.

"I was- a very petty child." She says with a shrug, "And then April fools was always fun. But that's not worth telling really."

"And what is?" Wind asks, fishing for dirt on Wild.

Myrah laughs, shaking her head.

She stands, brushing her hands on her dirt stained pants.

"You know he and my niece are an awful duo. Just too many seal jokes."

"Too many what?" Hyrule asks.

"Seal jokes. I swear if I'd known what introducing them would bring upon me I'd have just wrestled Vah Naboris to the ground myself."

"Vah na-hwat now?" Sky asks.

"Vah naboris, the divine beast piloted by my aunt. Also known as the lightning cameo of fucking death."

"You must really hate that thing."

"I do. But that's for a different day. One if you had asked earlier about the moon?"

Wind grins, "Yeah do you like the moon?"

"Fuck no." Myrah says with disdain second only to Time's. "That botch revives the monsters every week or so!"

"Why do you all hate the moon?" Legend asks, "It lights the night."

"So dies fire. And fire dosen’t resurrection lynels." Myrah says firmly, "I'd fist fight the moon but I don't think I'd win."

"You wouldn't." Time says evenly.

"So- you hate the moon, you hate Vah whatever, what fo you like?" Four asks.

"Hm- cooking, gardening, sparring, teaching. Normal things. I love exploring. "

"Sparting?" Twilight asks.

"Yeah, it was a bonding then growing up. My dad loved to soar, and so did Li- so did James. So I'd spar dad and uncle James and Wild."

"Uncle James? Was that Wild's dad?" Wind asks.

"Yes. But he died a long time ago."

"Oh."

"He would have liked you though, you're a lot like someone I used to knkw."

"That can probably said about any of us." Warriors says evenly.

Myrah just laughs, her eyes bright. "They're back."

"What?"

Wild shoots forwards, launching himself at Myrah only to be caught with a louder laugh from the woman.

Twilight trails behind Wild, shaking his head.

"They're back." She says, "You couldn't hear?"

"No."

"I got some hearty bass do you have the radishes?" Wild asks.

"Yes."

"I'm gonna go grab them." Wild says before detaching and going into Myrah's house.

"He got fish?" Time asks, eying the exhausted looking Twilight.

"He used bombs."

"Again?" Myrah asks, "I told him whistling worked better."

"Oh Goddess." Sky says, setting his face in his hands.

"What?" Myrah asks, sounding genuinely confused but her eyes give her away.

"You're why he's such a menace. Aren't you?" Legend accuses.

"I just encourage him."

"You're the reason I never sleep." Legend says again.

Myrah laughs, warm and pleased. Her head falls back a little. "I only taught him what he wished to learn."

"Ypu sound like ypur super old sometimes. Anyone ever tell ypu that?" Wind asks.

"I am old for a Hylian." Myrah says with a soft smile, "And yet I am not the oldest of my lifespan."

"What does that even mean?"

"Oh just wait until you meet Purah. She's older than I am."

"Should she have guests?" Warriors asks, sounding concerned.

"Oh she's fine. She's physically like- ten now."

"But-"

"Physical age lost it's meaning years ago." Myrah says matter-of-factly.

"Huh."

"Are you older than Time?"

"Physically? No."

"Mentally?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. That's for him to know." Myrah says with a smile, "What does it even matter?"

"Just thinking. "

"That's dangerous." She laughs again, "Don't think too hard."

.......

Wind is helping Myrah with the laundry of the group when he really understood just how old she is and what it's done to her.

"Did you lose many people in the calamity?" He asks, curious.

Myrah turns towards him, her golden eyes dull as she says a simple word. "Yes."

"Oh..."

She smiles something bitter as she continues. Her voice empty but strong all at once. "There were too many deaths that night to count. We tried to anyways... It was easier to count those left alive."

"What- was it like?"

"The monsters wouldn't die. Malice seemed to run through their very blood.... I remember- I think the shadows moved that night, but with the adrenalin I'm sure I was just seeing things."

"That sounds awful... Where were you when it happened?"

"The castle, training with other knights- Captain Troy had been running stamina drills all day... Then the calamity hit and we all ran to keep the monsters away until Zelda and Link got there."

"But they didn't. "

"I woke up in Link's bed to his remaining family three days later. There's only so much I recall."

"His bed?"

"Yeah. I remember crying in it after I was told what happened. I- was one of the only three to survive the swine that night."

"Sorry... I probably shouldn't have asked..."

"It's okay. I'm not upset."

"What about Wild's family, you said some of them lived."

Myrah smiles, softer this time. More genuine. "Yeah... They died of old age about twenty seven years ago or so. Math is a little hard."

"Myrah, how did you stay so okay?"

"I didn't. But I learned from Impa better coping. And I found reasons to love that weren't just revenge."

"Do you think they'd like who Wild turned into?"

"Yes and no. Our families would be so proud. My ex would still dislike him."

"You're ex?"

"Revali- the rito champion. He never got along with Wild. But my Avanta- she has always thought Link brave."

"Huh."

"Aryll would be so glad that he has taken to traveling."

"Aryll?" Wind echoes, confused.

"My adopted sister." Myrah says.

"My sister is named Aryll."

"That's crazy! Maybe your sister reincarnated?"

"Maybe."

"What's your hyrule like? I'm sure it's very different. "

"It's a huge ocean!"

[klaxiaaa]

came back from all in, slept a lot and, now i've woken up enough, i have some (many) thots:

i have mentioned a few times i'm p new to this wrestling thing still so this was my first show and it was one hell of a first wrestling show i tell you hwat

the audience in my section were a good lot, was nice to have so many people around me pop hard for a trans rights sign getting shown

i was not expecting adam and mjf getting the ROH titles, that was one hell of a way to start things off

good to see hook got his title back tho

saw the 'cash has got a gun' and 'please don't shoot him' chants coming a mile off. still hilarious tho.

got to see the best friends get a win live irl and in person. almost optimistic that they're finally on the right path to win the big one. almost. also the new drawing for their entrance. especially enjoyed the cringefail attempt at drawing a double decker bus. gg 10/10

also got to see chuck use the awful waffle on yuta live irl in person and then after the show encountering chuck live irl in person

my one (1) criticism - the women's match being so short and also saraya getting the belt? come on shida deserved more time being champion than that tk.

like tk if you wanted to have saraya get a home country win she should have been in a separate non title match (then we could have gotten one more women's match also so yeah)

i got so caught up in the wrasslin i forgot to grab food whilst the kitchens were still open so all i has was some (overpriced) popcorn. oops.

i actually met chuck taylor? like just ran into him whilst leaving the place and he commented on the fact i wass dressed as oc asfghk

but yeah he was chill and took a photo, didn't say much to him tho because he was clearly heading back to his hotel and i didn't want to delay him for too long

and we're doing this again next year bay beee let's goooo

meeting chuck?? actually getting to meet chuck???

might go the whole hog and book a hotel next time even tho i don't live that far away from london. guess it depends on money and hotel prices at the time idk we'll see

so yeah women's booking aside, great night great wrasslin' great times

yeah i may have mentioned the meeting chuck things a few times but getting into aew i had p much accepted that i would neever attend a show or meet any of the wrestlers like ever - but in one night i've attended their biggest show to date and also actually getting to meet one of them too??? and it was one of the guys i was specifically there to see??? that was so fucking wild in all the best possible way. like wow.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Much Ado About Nothingness

We are almost halfway through the year and Manjuu finally blessed us with new Event! Iron Blood Event content, at that! Iron Blood event content that has a brilliant new Ultra Rare Ship in the banner! You absolutely know I'm making a run today! I’ve stacked Cubes and Finishers for months. I have hundreds of these things, literally stockpiling for this, specifically. Sure, I've burned a few here or there for a couple of Reruns but all of my everything in Azur Lane, is primarily for my darling Kraut dock. it’e wild because the drought has been long and arduous. I’ve literally just been doing side quest since the turn of the year but now, i can get back to the main campaign. Sh*t’s dope, sure, but it’s at the cost of Marco Polo. I’m still in the middle of constructing her and now she gets to be put on the back burner because Bismarck Zwei needs just SO much love! Off the top, this was the most expensive Banner at which I've ever made a run. It took all two hundred rolls, man. so many of my Cubes, sacrificed to the cruel, cruel, Gacha gods. I’ve played this game for years and, up to this point, never had to take the Pity.

The most cubes I've used on Banner ships was eighty. Actual years of luck. I guess it finally ran out because, goddamn, two hundred f*cking cubes, yo! My pockets are bare but it was worth it. I unlocked all of the ships available and, in the grueling process of burning all of my hard earned Cubes, was able to Limit Break every ship on that Banner, save U-556 META. Generally speaking, i don’t care about META ships so she’s just bonus. No, my prize is all of those UR Bismark Zweis. It took one hundred and seventy rolls but, on that last one, i popped three Zweis and my third U-556 META. Bro, i had already fully Limit Broken both Otto von Alvensleben and Regensburg. That’s five goddamn copies for each of those boats! By the fiftieth goddamn roll! I literally have two extra copies of Regensburg right now because i had to run that banner another one hundred and twenty goddamn times! By then, i just said “F*ck it” and kept going to gt the Pity. Why not? I had the Cubes and figured better that than buying one of those UR Bulin from the shop.

It’s wild that i pulled every ship available in this Event. It took a great deal but now I'm not even sure if i want to play the goddamn game! I mean, of course i will, i need to grind out that Affection so i can wife my new ships, but what would be more efficient: Grinding the Event or just grinding on of the Stage Eleven maps? Sure, there’s more Experience to be had on Stage Eleven but, i mean, there is Shop stuff i can buy. Cats can never have enough Rainbow Blueprints and there’s ten of those b*tches in there. I might just go that route, mostly because i still need to unlock Jade. She’s the Point Accumulation Reward for this event so unlocking her is only a matter of time. Ten thousand is a lot but i think i have a pretty healthy start. Maxing out those three Banner ships and getting them to level one hundred almost immediately, has to count for something, right? The other stuff added during his update is pretty dope, too. I love the new costumes, specifically Regensberg’s Dark Dragon, Brilliant Beach. That there is some quality Live 2D, i tell you hwat! The Wishing Well is back but i already have everything i want so it’s more a mute point for me. Still, i might use it to pick up a random boat, who knows? What i do know is I’m going to miss out on that Nelson Retrofit because i, apparently, don’t have Nelson in my Fleet. How is that even a thing? Whatever, it’s fine. I got another UR KMS boat in Zwei. That, alone, made this entire Event worth it for me.

[smokeybrand]

Much Ado About Nothingness

We are almost halfway through the year and Manjuu finally blessed us with new Event! Iron Blood Event content, at that! Iron Blood vent content that has a brilliant new Ultra Rare Ship in the banner! You absolutely know I'm making a run today! I’ve stacked Cubes and Finishers for months. I have hundreds of this things, literally stockpiling for this, specifically. Sure, I've burned a few here or there for a couple of Reruns but all of my everything in Azur Lane, is primarily for my darling Kraut dock. it’ wild because the drought has been long and arduous. I’ve literally been just doing side quest since the turn of the year but now, i can get back to the main campaign. Sh*t’s dope, sure, but it’s at the cost of Marco Polo. I’m still in the middle of constructing her and now she gets to be but on the back burner because Bismarck Zwei needs just SO much love! Off the top, this was the most expensive Banner I've ever made a run at. It took all two hundred rolls, man. so many of my Cubes, sacrificed to the cruel, cruel, Gacha gods. I’ve played this game for years and, up to this point, never had to take the Pity.

The most cubes I've used on Banner ships was eighty. Actual years of luck. I guess it finally ran out because, goddamn, two hundred f*cking cubes, yo! My pockets are bare but it was worth it. I unlocked all of the ship available and, in the grueling process of burning all of my hard earned Cubes, was able to Limit Break every ship on that Banner, save U-556 META. Generally speaking, i don’t care about META ships so she’s just bonus. No, my prize is all of those UR Bismark Zweis. It took one hundred and seventy rolls but, on that last one, i popped three Zweis and my third U-556 META. Bro, i had already fully Limit Broken both Otto von Alvensleben and Regensburg. That’s five goddamn copies for each of those boats! By the fiftieth goddamn roll! I literally have two extra copies of Regensburg right now because i had to run that banner another one hundred and twenty goddamn times! By then, i just said “F*ck it” and kept going to gt the Pity. Why not? I had the Cubes and figured better that than buying one of those UR Bulin from the shop.

It’s wild that i pulled every ship available in this Event. It took a great deal but now I'm not even sure if i want to play the goddamn game! I mean, of course i will, i need to grind out that Affection so i can wife my new ships, but what would be more efficient: Grinding the Event or just grinding on of the Stage Eleven maps? Sure, there’s more Experience to be had on Stage Eleven but, i mean, there is Shop stuff i can buy. Cats can never have enough Rainbow Blueprints and there’s ten of those b*tches in there. I might just go that route, mostly because i still need to unlock Jade. She’s the Point Accumulation Reward for this event so unlocking her is only a matter of time. Ten thousand is a lot but i think i have a pretty healthy start. Maxing out those three Banner ships and getting them to level one hundred almost immediately, has to count for something, right? The other stuff added during his update is pretty dope, too. I love the new costumes, specifically Regensberg’s Dark Dragon, Brilliant Beach. That there is some quality Live 2D, i tell you hwat! The Wishing Well is back but i already have everything i want so it’s more a mute point for me. Still, i might use it to pick up a random boat, who knows? What i do know is I’m going to miss out on that Nelson Retrofit because i, apparently, don’t have Nelson in my Fleet. How is that even a thing? Whatever, it’s fine. I got another UR KMS boat in Zwei. That, alone, made this entire Event worth it for me.

[hot-soong-type-summer]

"soul piss turns the water wheels in hell" is a sentence i said out loud today with my mouth words

[allscotchnosoda]

HEY HEY HEY JUST FINISHED BINGING OWL HOUSE SEASON TWO AND!!!!! I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS!!! WHICH MEANS SPOILERS FOR ALL EPISODES!!

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oh my god?? i love hunter SO mcuh yall cannot even understand. he gives me zuko vibes, what with the scar, abusive relative who is also the ruler and big bad, Only Job Is To Antagonize The Mc, and is 16. 

lets talk about how he! is! 16! his eyebags??? boy needs to REST thank u very much!! also, his scar? his ear? i bet my third toe that belos had something to do with at least ONE of those. disgusting. ugh also i hate belos!! yknow how like hunter told luz to stay away from wild magic cuz shed get hurt?? its prob cuz,,,he researched wild magic,,,and then got punished for it,,,,sigh give hiM A HUG GODDAMMIT

one last thing about hunter: his name!! ppl are making fun of it cuz “haha white boy name”!! and i get it but also, it fits him and the name patterns within the show. for example, willows name being a tree, and she has plant magic. amitys name meaning friendship and her first big arc was making friends with luz. luz!! her name means light and the first spell she learns, that monumental moment where she proves she CAN do magic, was a light spell!! it fits in with hunter’s whole schtick- hes been hunting luz, eda, and palismen for belos. yeah, u can make jokes, but i like the name!! plus it gives off edgey wattpad bad boy vibes and i think thats funnier than basic white boy.

-

most of my thoughts were gg-centric bc,,,look at him, how can you NOT fixate on him?? but i had a few others i wanted to get out there that i might expand on!

gus!!!! his development!!!! his friendship with matt!!! oh my god i Love THem

willow and her dads!! from what little ive seen, you can TELL they all love each other and its So Nice

lilith and hooty friendship is quite literally the best thing ever. thanks for coming to my TED talk

CREEPY LUZ???? HWAT??

belos is. a bitch. but also?? could be human?? but is also cursed?? also this is probably obvious but the ‘day of unity’ he keeps talking about prob involves merging the witch and human worlds, no? ....or did i misread that? idk

AMITYS HAIRRRRRRRRRR. also uhh ive removed odailia off the milf board cuz shes mean :((( em and ed best siblings!!!

lumity,,,,my beloveds,,, we’ve got so much content and, uh, “my luz”????/ HM?????? 

n e way i cant wait for ep 7!!! also feel free to discuss shit or yell at me bc i can talk for DAYS

[artemisfowlcodex]

My sister’s directly transcribed notes, taken while watching the Artemis Fowl movie...

(Absolutely no editing for grammar has been done, this is raw reaction)

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SURFBOARD???? Wh— WHY IS MY BOY SURFING

 THis is a better start to Percy Jackson than the actual Percy Jackson movie There’s no way he’d choose the name Bruce Okay but the accents cute

 And this scene is accurate  Basard boy Absolute baby unlimited

 IS ANGELINE DEAD???????

 Bold of you to think he could lift a backpack SKATEBOARD?????????????? JEANS??????????????????

 At home w his dad yeah as if he was a good dude from the start what He taught him bout fair folk????

 PLEASE stop putting my boy in JEANS JEAAAANNNSS baby boy has a cute as hell nose

 Arty count #1

 sidenote pls don’t call him Artemis jr it’s senior and Artemis that’s it 

What is even happening hmmm

WHY DOES THIS BOY KNOW WHAT PHYSICAL AFFECTION IS  HAH NO I LOVE YOU TOO

 OH MY GOD ANGELINE IS DEAD WHY

why would you kill the person trying to put him in jeans 

The manor is cute as hell tho

LEGO??? Omg robotics

Yeah that sounds about right Hey why aren’t his pjs silk And WHERE IS BUTLER

THERE

WOW THOSE ARE BLUE EYES

NO!!!!!!! You CANT CALL HIM BY HIS FIRST NAME!!!!!!!!

baby drink MILK 

Bold of you to assume Artemis didn’t know his dad was a crime lord

Owl star?? Bruh

 DOM PLS GOD WHY  Never call him butler pfft  Oh my god why is the plot now that the folk have kidnapped him????  WHAT ACULOUS?

 “Word for word”  This boy would and then DOESNT 

 Arty count #2  WHY IS HE STILL IN JEANS how tf is this so different to the book you had 20 YEARS to get it

I vibe w haven tho  Nother sidenote why are mulch’s teef so nice don’t like that

 Hollys suit is kinda cute tho Helmet sucks tbh  I AM VIBIN W HAVEN  Why is mulch a beeg boye  WHY ARE GOBLINS HARRY POTTER SHIT UGLY INSTEAD OF REPTILES  Yep helmets SUCK  Okay yeah this is a cute holly  Fjsjfjsjfjfnsjfj yeah that’s their whole dynamic  Why tf is he going to howlers peak

 WHOMST  WAIT IS THE OTHER ONE FREAKIN OPAL

 hmm okay yeah dench good commander bad root HWAT THE HECK IS THEB ACULLUS the hats are SO BAD  BEEG eyes holly Holly looking for her dad too oh no I smell the bonding already  I wannaaaaa seeeeeeee TROUBLE and chix lol

 STOP CALLING HIM DOMOVOIIIIII OH IS THIS JULIET!? OH SHES CUTE  NEICE??????  TF CUUUUTE  haha encoded too love that 

FOALLLYYYYY OHHHHH LOVE THAT THE skirt güd THAT IS A GOOD FOALY  HE SMOL THO

 ohhhh yeah CUDGEON  so it IS opal

 Wings good IS she shielded??

 DOMOVOI STOP W THST NAME  JEANS WHY  

Yeah this scene right  Fangs aren’t big enough  Too human face hm

 GOOD FOALY THO  THEYRE REALLY USING CENTAUR TO FULL POTENTIAL  THATS NOT HOW TIME STOPS WORK  they’re literally explained in the book how th ehh work what the heckidy heck

RETRIEVAL WOULD HAVE BETTER WAYS TO BRING EM IN  holly no

 Arty count #3

 It IS opal  Thats  That’s not how coords work

 STOP CALLING HIM DOM  keep ur helmet on queen

 Aha HERES the siege  NOT HAPPY SJHFJSJGJSKFJSJFJ

 JEANS 

JULIET OMG  STOP WEARING J E A N S OKAY I LOVE THIS SCENE

 DOM FOR GODS SAKE  I’ll give her a pass tho bc it’s Jules

 SWORD????  Please give me butler beating up retrieval PLEASE I NEED IT

 is it just a Thing™️ to have Dench stare dead into the camera now? First Cats and now this  TOP O THE MORNIN

 J E A N S  HAHA SUIT!!!! SUIIIT AT LONG LAST  Scared to dead hell yeah

 WHO GAVE THIS CHILD A GUN IM??????  THIS IS SUCH A WILD RIDE

god please tell me opal doesn’t actually sound like that and it’s a disguise

 Heheheheh baby boy looks ten  Do Root and I share a bday?  Was that Frond?  STOP calling him jr he’s the SECOND

Mulch I will feed u ur weirdly nice teef  YES FIRE  But also uhhhhh WHERES MY REPTILE REP  YES BUT THAT SCENES FROM LATER BOOKS

 My father was kidnapped! YEAH WELL MY FATHER IS DEAD  AND HERES THE BONDING

 PORTALS???? WAIT HYBRAS????? 

 Oh yeah julius can’t be Julius bc woman  BOWIE A FOLK DJDHFJKS  Damn mulchs eyeliner going off doe  LET HIM UNHINGE HIS JAW! WEIRD DWARF RIGHTS!  Throat INFECTIONGNDJSJFJSJK  Hey quick observation I’m surprised there are NO fart jokes seeing as the book was FILLED w them  YESSSSSS UNHINGEDDDDDD THATS MY BOY!!!! YESSSS UNHINGED RIGHTS 

hacker voice: I’m in Burps??? Wack “Switching to xray and then Does Not”  

Lol nothing to do w the brain  PLEASE PUNCH HIM I WANT THE LEGENDARY LOLLIPOP LINE DWARF HAIR HOLY SHIT  YESSSS YESSSSSS PUNCH

 Oh it’s acorn shaped of COURSE it is  But WHAT is it  IM SORRY W H A T Is the time stop doing??

 CUDGEON YES  OH SICK TROLL TIME TROLL TIME  Darvit wheeeee there it is

 If you like doubled butlers height this would be fine bc I like the taller holly and mulch  2.97 seconds to eat humans fjsjfjsjjf JFJSNFJSJFJ MULCH STEALING THE GUN FROM BUTLER 

 They’re using the troll as a battering ram im crying that’s so dumb  Magic jammers? That’s a thing?  YEET JULIET BEST GIRL  YES MULCH UNHINGED RIGHTS!!  DOM COUNT DOM COUNT  Hmm yeah soundtrack nothing to write home about  DOM COUNT

 I vibe w neutrino design  OH DOM COUNT DOM count DOm count pls stopppppp Whyd you a) move him and b) sit him up  BUDDY????  hey ur not meant to die til book three

 Wh CHIX IS AN ELF??? WHY ISNT HE G R E E N WHYS HE CAPTAIN AINT THAT MEANT TO BE TROUBLE  WINGS ARE MAGIC??  DOM COUNT  Did I cry? Little bit lol love that 

 Oh yeah he runs like he’s never learnt how  Like he’d willingly call someone a friend before book four  Wow yeah that’s defs arctic incident 

 Fjshfjsjjfjdjfjfhfhdhfhdhghh I know it didn’t fail but WHAT IF IT DID  “Dad” wow please go back to calling him Father

 I’ll be real I didn’t view holly as a child actor the whole time lol she’s good  And white ,,, but that’s a different issue

 But also YALL KILLED ANGELINE B ITCH WE WERE ROBBED OF HAVING HIM IN SUITS THE WHOLE MOVIE  oh my god what are you on about  UNHINGED RIGHTS!!!

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And that is the total transcript, in near-unreadable format. 

God help us all.

[lemons-made-here]

I loved the NSFW alphabet think with midoria and was wondering if you could make a Kaminari one too? Instant follow btw OMG love the writing

Oh my goodness! You are too kind love! Denki is my baby, hope you enjoy!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Cuddle bug!!!! Denki wants nothing more to hold you close and make sure you’re okay. More often than not, he’ll feed you something before you drift off to get your energy back up. Something sweet like strawberries or chocolate, sometimes he’ll heat up Nutella and feed you by the spoonful while you binge reruns.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves all of you, but he especially loves your face and neck, you can become so expressive with your features if he pushes you just right. Denki loves you smile too, he’s a wholesome boy at heart. On himself however, he likes his hands and chest, after a couple of rough rounds he loves to feel your hair through his fingers and you snuggled up to the sound of his heartbeat

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Kaminari prefers to cum on your stomach or chest if he doesn’t cum in you, but it really depends on the day and how he’s feeling. From you on the other hand, Denki wants your cum all over him, coating his thighs and/or face makes him go wild.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants you to get a piercing below the waistline. Its completely your choice obviously, because Denki would never dare bringing it up. Something inside him wants you to feel a little extra jolt when he’s getting you off with his hands.  

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Hah! No. Kaminari has watched his share of porn, but is still quite lacking in experience. He’s a fast learner though, he knows how to make you come undone and screaming his name.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Standard missionary does it for him, but it depends. If you two were cuddling and you both want to go at it, He’s not opposed to doing it on your sides. If Denki’s in a teasing mood, he’ll swing your legs over his shoulders to thrust into you deeper. Overall, he’s up for anything once. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

 Absolutely, Kaminari is a goofball to the core, giggly, goofy sex is just hwat he needs sometimes. It means a lot more to him than you might think, it means you’re comfatable enough to not only fuck around with him, but you can get a good laugh out as well.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

100% carpet matches the drapes, ita laughable. He shaves almost all of it, if he doesn’t, it gets all frizzy when he uses his quirk, which is often in the bedroom.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Kaminari’s such the sweetheart!!! He’s a cheesy romantic but romantic nonetheless. He’s got the whole rose petal stage out of the way though, its the little things he uses to make you happy. He’ll rub out your sore spot whenever he can, he carries you bridal style every morning after, no matter your ability to walk, lastly without fail, after every orgasm he makes sure to shower you in adoration and kisses, because “You deserve them! You’re my everything (Y/N), and I don’t want you to forget that”

J = Jerk Off (How often, what are they thinking about, …)

All the time, twice in the shower, after a workout, during his break at the agency, just... so much. But! As his significant other, you somewhat control it, even if that means three rounds before breakfast and two after midnight, because of course he’s still horny. Or you know, a cock cage, but that’s up to you

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Overstimulating and edging are extremely common, if you edge the poor baby enough, Denki will beg for just about anything. Which leads to over stimulation, deep down Kaminari just wants to be used, milk him round after round until he’s crying cums from a simple touch... then keep going.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

As mentioned before, anywhere and everywhere, no place is too extreme. There are some strange ones though. On his agency’s roof in the middle of the day, Kirishima’s and Bakugou’s kitchen table, back in your UA days Aizawa’s desk, the cafeteria half an hour before lunch, the list goes on and on.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If you scratch his scalp, squeeze him tighter in a hug, or touching his lips. Denki will try his best to control his urges, but if you persist, be ready for a fucking.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Threesomes, being selfish is isn’t quite right, but its the jist. Denki wants you to himself, he wants to be the reason you’re getting off, not anyone else. Also anything to hurts you emotionally or physically. While he does use his quirk in bed, he’s gained enough control for you to trust him and to trust himself. But anything else close to hurting you is off the table.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Denki likes giving just a little more than receiving, as much as he loves the feeling of your hot tongue under his dick, he enjoys the way you whine, squirm and pant just a little more.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Denki’s a very bouncy boy, like, Pinkie Pie level bounce, half of it is his quirk, the other half is pure adrenaline ready to fuck 24/7. So if you’re crunched for time, Kaminari will leave your legs out of operation for the next three to five business days. But if you have no time restraints, his thrusts are a little sharper, has a tad more patience to tease the hell out of you.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Kaminari is the king of of quickies, in the car ten minutes before an important hero event, in a supply closet at the agency, in the spare bedroom of a friend’s house at a party? All of them have been done and will continue to happen

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Kaminari lives for the thrill, any chance you’ll get caught gets him off faster. “Hush baby, one squeak and someone could come in, imagine, they’ll see you dripping for me”, “Bite my shoulder (Y/N), we wouldn’t want anyone else to hear your moans, now do we?”

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Denki tries his best to get you to your climax first, but besides that he can go an average of three to four rounds before he oversensitive. At that point, you don’t have to do anything more than bite his neck or grind down on him a little to get him to cum.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

So, so, so many. cock rings, strap-ons, vibrators, cuffs, rope, name it, you probably have it. The two of you go into your local shop at least twice a month, you now have a family discount just from being in there so often. you may or may not have bumped into Midnight herself more than once...that was a fun drive home

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kaminari teases when and where he finds it most inappropriate, which is just about everywhere. He’ll glide his arms up and down your chest and gnaw on your neck form behind, and leave three seconds later. If his arm in around your waist, chances are his thumb is under your waistband stroking your thigh.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Aside from plenty of dirty talk, Denki isn’t terribly loud. His pants and groans are about as loud as he gets, but if you’re whining or begging in the slightest, he will not shut up. Kaminari’s obviously pretty cocky, so make any sound telling him he’s doing something right, he’s going to tease you for every other word

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Not only is Denki a switch, it is extremely easy to get him to submit. He’s such an obedient sub too, he just wants to be good and get the most orgasms out of the both of you as possible, 12/10 pillow princess

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Kaminari’s pretty average, about 6-7 inches when he’s fully hard. on the bright side, he can use his quirk with his dick, which is exciting to say the least.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

All. The Damn. Time. Ya’ll fuck like rabbits on the average weekday. If you’re around friends, he’ll press is hard-on into your ass, nuzzling your neck and running his thumbs along your waistline.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Maybe thirty to forty-five minutes, Kaminari is pretty sleepy afterwards, which makes him even more sappy, As soon as your’e asleep and content, he’ll doze off too

[flamebrain]

mattfoggy hcs, straight from the bastard empire sorry these all read like shitepostes(L O N G post under cut you’ve been warned)

WTNV au:

nightvale is just populated by like. vigilantes and other poewered people and foggy shoes up one day like. hey anyone need a lawyer? and the whole town falls in love w him

MURDERDOCK IS KEVIN

matt does radio and talks about foggys perfect hair and perfect teeth and foggy calls in like "heh, thanks dude, but aren't you like blind?" and matt shuts the call off immediatley

everybody knows matt is daredevil because he makes wink wink nudge nudge comments about it like 'ah. it appears that an entity has appeared near the dog park. castle appears to be on the scene now, and...ok, he's got a gun. i cant do anything about that, but my pal (noises of him scrambling and obviously knocking things over) daredevil might be able OKHERESTHEWEATHER" and it cuts off and like. he shows up 5 seconds later to kick frank in the face for using lethal measures AGAIN

EVERY TIME IT CUTS TO THE WEATHER AND THEN CUS BACK AND THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVED ITS JUST MATT. like. breathing just a little heavier than normal into the mic like. 'so it appears uh. the issue has been resolved thanks again to daredevil and his pal moon knight. such a shame i had to cower under my desk while the weather was on. ok goodnight'

the funky thing abt nightvale in this au is that it's basically just like. new york from 616 but foggy's like. from our earth so he's like HWAT THE FUCK AND AHIT IS GOING ON IN HERE ON THIS DAY AND WHY CANT I LEAVE he gets kidnapped by super villains on like his second day in town and immediatley regrets every life choice he's ever made

matt works at nightvale radio by day and conviently cuts to the weather every time something comes up so sometimes there's like. 7 half hour weather broadcasts a day and the townspeople just. humor him

foggy falls in love with matt after figuring out after .5 seconds that he's daredevil and he saved him from a bunch of baddies on like his second day and matt compliments him on the radio like every day and yeah they're fuckin good ok assorted stupid college hcs: matt and foggy like to chill in each other's beds. foggy doesn't notice that often because matt moves back b4 he gets back and matt pretends not to notice but  like. he can smell foggy was there. foggy. stop napping in this bed you're making my sheets smell like you, foggy, i KNOW they're silk and i know you think you're getting away with it but you're NOT,

matt, coming back into the dorm after being out for the day: foggy are you laying on my bed foggy, sitting up straight: nah pal. just sitting on the end for a minute hehe. just had to rest the old joints matt, knowing DAMN well that he was lying down a second ago and he's obviously lying but not being able to say anything; haha ok. move

hrnnn matt knows foggy is gay long before he tells him because he catches him in a lie about who he was out with but he can't say anything and like. he knows foggy is scared to tell him but he doesn't know how to bring it up and he's like. i want him to know he can trust me but i don't know how to tell him i know please foggy

foggys heart goes a mile a minute anytime the subject of being gay comes up around matt and matt wants to yell at him that it's OK and he doesn't care but his hints that he's fine with it seem to fly right over foggys head and so one day he gets so fed up with trying to convince foggy he's chill with gay people he just kisses him. wig

hrnnn. matt doesn't like the snow because it messes with his senses and he can't see but he can't say that to foggy so he just says he doesn't like the cold and foggys like "yeah doofus you weigh like three pounds you're skin and bone compared to me smh" and insists on cuddling him every time he sees matt get like That bc he thinks he's just chilly and it's. oddly comforting to matt because yeah. nobody really Holds him like that, and he Is Cold, and foggy is Warm,

matt gets Very touchey around people he's close with and so when he gets close with foggy he puts his arm around him a lot, rests his head on his shoulder, holds his arm even when they're not going anywhere, etc. foggys heart speeds up every time but matt just assumes that's what people hearts do when that happens because he doesn't really do that with anyone else and hey, he's happy when he does it and his heart maybe spikes a little too, but then he gets someone else's arm to lead him when foggys sick one week and their heart stays the exact same, what's up with that? so then he starts paying attention to all the people on campus, and the touching doesn't usually make the hearts go wild, but, well. matt 'sees' it happens and he's like HaHa, See, This is A Thing, and then he realizes that the people that have it happen to them? they're couples. and he just. freezes because first of all, Foggy- and at him- an- and second, his heart ALSO does a thing, so-

heres a rEALLY stupid unrelated au/hc i got after hearing a friends disater story hfdjhskja matt goes on a blind (hehe) date with a girl and it's pretty much a disaster, it turns out she brought her friend who is also meeting a guy at the same place, and like. she's obviously incredibly wack she says blind people are god's mistake and stupid shit like that so matt gets up halfway through their meal to go sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes while he thinks of an excuse to leave? and eventually a guy comes in and he's like 'uh hey, dude, you in here? your date grabbed her friend and left so we're both dateless now, thats a relief for me and unless you're just having incredibly bad bowel movements i think it's pobably one for you since you Have been in here for like half an hour uh im foggy by the way' and then they go back out and sit together and talk about how wack that fuckin was and like. inadvertent date

hey i can talk a lot of shit about how matt falls asleep on foggy but. sometimes foggy falls asleep on or next to or with matt and matt goes !!!! and he does not move and then he eventually falls asleep with foggy head on his shoulder and his head on foggys and when FOGGY wakes up and realizes matts still there and is ALSO asleep he doesn't move and eventually falls back asleep and then it's just like. waiting until the time aligns that they're both awake at the same time because neither wants to move and wake the other send tweet

SOULMATE AU:

foggy looks up from his college bed, sees matt, and suddenly EVERYTHING is fucking rainbow and he's like 'oh fuck. oh shit. wait. this is a dude' and matt's like 'is everything ok my guy?' because foggy's like. >:O and of course he has no idea because he's blind but foggy doesnt realise this and for a hot minute he;s like "OH FUCK. ITS ONE OF THOSE RARE OCASIONS WHERE HES PERFECT FOR ME BUT I'M NOT FOR HIM," and is about to s o b before he's like wait a fucking minute

yknow the au where like. the first words you hear from your soulmate are marked on your skin at birth? foggy's are 'excuse me', absolutley common, a chance meeting, and he stops jumping every single time he hears them after age 8 when he realises just how many times that phrase is said. matt's are 'yeah, who're you looking for,'  but he doesnt remember that, there's no constant reminder of it since he's blind, the nuns wouldn't tell him, the kids made up childish shit like 'poopoo', and stick DEFINITLEY wouldnt fucking tell him because hes stick and hes an asshead and eventually matt stops asking and caring. it takes WEEKS for after they meet for foggy to ask matt about his words and matt just says 'oh yeah, i dont remember. here" and shows foggy and when he sees them he's like. 'hm. sounds familiar' and forgets about it untill like two years later theyre drunk and talking about the first time they met and matt's like 'yeah you asked like 'who'm i looking for and then panicked because i was blind' and foggy's brain just like. short circuits for a whole ass minute and then when it clicks he just goes. "yOU"

TRANS MATT:

matt realises when he's still in the orphanage that mayhaps he hates being not a dude and haha! hes not gonna fucking come out to catholics he knows about That. he tries to tell stick, around the time their closest, and FUCK STICK he refuses to call him anything else or support him becaise stick is a peace of fuck shit FUCK STICK so that scars matt from coming out for a DAMN while so like. when he goes to college he introduces himself to everyone as matt and emails his proffesors like. 'hello please my name is redacted on your forms please call me matt its uh. a nickname' and he's not like. out to anyone but matt is close enought to his deadname that most people don't question it. foggy does, though, a little while after they meet, and matt is so fed up with not telling people and being called the wrong pronouns he just goes 'i want to be a guy ok' and goes absolutley APESHIT when foggy's like 'oh, cool. do you want me to use he pronouns for you' because wait. people are...ok sometimes? and matt's like. about to cry 

 alternatley: matt says "I don't wanna be a girl." and foggy goes "oh hey are you trans? same hat!" and then foggy tells matt like. binding tips and shit and theyre Good ok

deadpool kills transphobes, sm n dd just fucking beat the SHIT out of them in a back alley and like. they let DP know where they are but whatever happens happens :D

elektra, impaling two transphobes onto the side of a building with her knives: matthew, i know you can hear me, why

one day elektra sees matt has dumped a guy on her roof and just. sighs and goes back inside and matt waits for like 15 minutes before halfheartedly picking up the dude and dropping him off at franks.

matt dropped them off at nats One Time and she went apeshit and hunted down like 20 more of them.

foggy, holding a bat: cmon matt let me kill ONE matt: 'fine but if you get caught im not going to be your lawyer.'

INTO THE DEVILVERSE AU:

earth 14512/TRN700 (peni parker’s universe) matt murdock has a robot seeing eye dog who's also a vigilante

hddjdsjdhdn they all show up to earth 6's foggy and he just. sighs and all the devils start crying because He Is Here

hmm ok. canonically we know nothing about miles's matt but we know he exists and is known figure because miles knows of him but doesn't know he's daredevil i'm Prefty Sure so like. i'm gonna say he's just a successful lawyer who has radarsense but never got yoinked away from the orphanage by stick and never got training so like. hemndhdjsjnow the QUESTION is who finds that matt because there's a Very Different outcome depending on if like. murderdock meets him first or the matt from hobopeters universe does

hmm. murderdock comes in first like gwen does but doesn't out himself as competent w like swords and shit. but he OH HES THE OPPOSING FORCE FOR UH A COURT CASE MATT IS IN AND MATT HAS NO IFEA HOW SIMILAR THEY LOOK BECAUSE HES BLIND HRNNNNNHSHDHDHDJ and then matt from HP's universe comes in like HEY YOURE ME RIGHT. what the FUCK i need the laws in this dimension STAT and murderdock ':"sees" him and is like ah fuck. my goose may be uhhh cooked

ok mileses matt is like 'so what brought y'all here??? hhh????  and murderdock sighs and goes well my boss who's not really my boss from MY universe is doing something stupid here and opened a dimensional portal and it could maybe tear the multiverse apart which i guess i'm not stoked about' and matt's like 'who's your boss?' and murderdock begrudgingly says 'wilson fisk' and matt immediatley goes >:O because he's CONSTANTLY defending people who were injured as a result of what fisk and his company do

anyways. matt immediatley rushes to foggys because "foggys my partner, he's helped me deal with fisk, he knows him, he can help," and he swings open the door and like. one of two things happens actually either A: foggy is like matt. MAATT. AHAT IS GOING ON WH. WHY IS THERE A TALKING DEER WEARNING SPANDEX WHO CLIMBED THROIGH MY WINDOW MATT PLEASE HE SAYS HES Y O U or like. matt walks in and deerdevil is playing pattycake with robodog and daredevil noir is incessantly flirting with foggy and when matt comes in foggys like 'hey. i don't know what's going on but i think i'm trading my best friend'

murderdock is like...the cool college student who tells freshies about weed murderdock: so, you don't know how to fight right  matt: no??? i'm blind??? md: but you can kinda see right. matt: yeah like a radar kinda md: normal blind people can't do that you know matt: they wHAT md: you can listen to heartbeats if you try hard enough. you can tell when people are lying matt: i can W H A T md: yeah. what me to teach you how to kill a man matt: W H AT NO IM A L A W Y E R WH

hrnnn the matts in this universe push our matt away to stay with foggy because he doesn't deserve 2 die and you KNOW every matt pushes people away but foggy is like. matt i know you tried it's ok i lov you buddy and he's like HRGGHHHH FUNCK YOU and makes foggy tell him stories untill he can distinguish lies and hide in a place around their office untill matt can like. find him instantly and training montage shit you feel me and he rolls up to the collider in his black pjs like "hello my fellow devil men. i hear you all have no plan. well. i don't either but i'm here" and one matt is like. how did you go-OH YOU DID IT and all the mats high five and cry a littlethey're still reluctant to let matt come help but they're all like. "we're all depressed and suicidal anyways we all have big guilt and if we didn't let him i lnOW he's gonna have big guilt forever he can stay"

THE PENUMBRA PODCAST AU:

foggy is a private eye, kinda depressed a lil bit, and he works w his secretary karen who helps him with tech and stuff because he is god awful at all that 

"mike whatevermaggiesmaidennameis" is an occult specialist from dark matters agency assigned by an agent natasha of dark matters to help him with his current case. 

foggy does NOT want to do this with any damn occultist or whatever the hell but before he can escape mike shows up and god DAMN is he charming and catches him before he can climb out the window, so. that's that for introductions. anyways, hijinks, elektra is cassandra, if you care listen to the murderous mask, anyhoo foggy stars to notice something is kinda weird about matt but brushes it off. they finish investigating and retrieve an important artifact.

it's cold, mike says. sorry dude, all the places near here are closed, foggy says. is your place? mike asks. oh, says foggy they go back to foggys place and maybe make out a little bit, but foggy realizes oh shit, mike just tried to steal the keys to my safe where i stored the artifact, shit, and plaxces him under arrest before he can do anything, and calls the cop cops.

they come to take mike away, and minutes later foggy finds a note, scrawled INCREDIVLY messily, in his pocket. "sorry," it says, "i wasn't tricking you about anything i said, and i meant everything i did. -matt murdock ps. check around, say, X avenue. you may have to do a bit of cleanup." when foggy checks cameras that overview there, he find the officers that took murdock from his apartment hogtied together, and sees their clothes strewn on the ground - forming letters - with love. their car is gone. PODCAST AU:

matt listens to podcasts a lot right and so foggy is like hmm mayhaps this is a good idea. but the type of podcasts they listen to differs so incredibly like matt listens to serial and the wildest one he listens to is probably judge john hodgman whereas foggy listens to shitpost podcasts like mbmbam and can i pet your dog foggy keeps referencing mbmbam around matt because he just assumes that he listens to it and matt is so confused every time and one day foggy says "damn matt you're really horny for this one huh" and matt just snaps and says FOGGY WHAT DO YOU M E AN

so then they are like oh shit you're not listening to the good ones. no YOURE not listening to the good ones. solution?  listen together which means sharing earbuds which means sitting next to eachother on small college bed which means????? cuddling

also eventually they decide fuck it. let's make our own podcast and they combine the mbmbam and jjh format so they get questions and do goofs and stuff and then give actual legal advice but sometimes foggy will be like "ok. here's what you do. you need a cat? go into the pet shelter and take one. what are the gonna do beat you up with their cat toys? didn't think so." and matt starts crying because "Fo g g y WE ARE LAWYERS I KNOW YOURE GOOFING BUT THATS ILLEGAL FOGGY YOI CANT TELL OUR LISTENERS TO GO DO CRIME"

COFFE SHOP AU:

matt has a caffeine addiction and constantly comes to foggys coffee shop and orders one black coffee every morning and foggy eventually is like. hey buddy. do you EVER drink ANYTHING F U N EVER

matts like...no...i need coffee as strong and dark as my soul... and foggys like ok edglelord. wait up i'm about to change your life

foggy makes him a latte that's just a little bit caramelly but not too sweet and he's like here. drink this. no charge you deserve to live a little. also here's your boring edgy coffee you still have to pay me for that one. matt tries it and he's like hmm. not bad, but just not. Good and foggy is like wow fuck you. i'm going to find a good drink for you that isn't this hell water so every morning matt comes in and foggy gives him a black coffee and a free Fun and Cool coffee on the house

matt always is polite even when foggy can tell he DESPISES what foggy made but he's not going to stop untill he finds something god damn it matt

ok anyways they start meeting up more. matt starts taking his breaks in the coffee shop and and foggy hmmm...always seems to have a shift off when matt comes down..hmm. coincidence....hmmm....theo suffers for him by covering all his shifts when matt comes in and he's like well, actually fuck work

eventually foggy is like hey dude. do you wanna test my drinks before they go on the menu or help me perfect my recipes and shit you have a good toungie right (matt goes apeshit, because fuckin FOGGY YOU CABT SAY THAT) but he's like haha yeah. that'd be fun. haha

and then foggy finds out matt is INCREDIBLE at baking when he hands him a cookie and matt goes. hmm. too much flour add a fourth a cup less and a pinch more of saltand he's like??? bitch. i'd like to see you do better. and then matt does

so basically every day foggy closes up a little earlier and lets matt in and they dick around in the kitchen and bake and make coffee and foggys shop gets more and more popular because hey this already really good joint just started selling the most BALLER carrot cAke waht the fucké

anyways fall comes around and foggy is like GUES WHATT ITS TIME FOR WHITE GIRL DRINKS TRY THIS and he gives matt a pumpkin spice latte and matt is like. •.• THIS IS IT. THATS THE ONE

and foggy starts crying MATT PLEASE YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. PKEASE MATT, MATT I CANT ADD PSL YEARROUND BECAUSS YOURE A BASIC WHITE BITCH MATT

he bullies foggy into keeping the latte on the menu by threatening to stop helping him bake and foggy is SO OFFENDED, on behalf of good taste everywhere, matt, please,

anyways foggy continues rags on matt for only liking the shittiest fucking drink god damn it matthew fucking hell i make you 3 billion and THIS is the one you pick you disaster and matt is like haha shut up. stoopid

foggy doesn't, and you can guess where this be headed because i'm gay and soft,

matt kisses him and foggys like. ?????????? and matt goes AH FUCK. I COULDNT THINK OF A BETTER WAY TO GET YOU TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH SORRY. GUESS ILL GO and foggy throws cookie dough at him and drags him back over because he's not leaving fuck that. fuck you. and then they're happy and domestic the end

wait i lied matt opens a pro-bono firm in the back of foggy's shop and he gives all his clients freshly baked dessert and coffee and he's so good at being a lawyer and foggy becomes so good @ running his shop that customers keep coming and they're the Cute Gay Couple everyone knows abt and loves

ACCIDENTAL (?) KISSING:

SO. there are so many god damn moments foggy nearly fucking breaks and smooches matt out of sheer unbridled uwu soft feelings. SO MANY. when they win their first mock trial together and matt looks so FUCKING happy and he tells foggy how good they work as a team and foggy is about to lose his mind but he just goes. 'haha yeah' and gives matt a fist bump they finish taking the bar: matt's had to take it in a seperate room, stupid blind accommodations. he finishes first because OF COURSE HE DOES HE'S MATT MURDOCK and the second foggy finishes and leaves the room he sees matt there and he's filled with so many emotions he's about to go apeshit but he manages to contain them JUST enough not to make out with matt on the spot but gives him the tightest fucking hug and matt's like "ok buddy! love you too! please dont break my ribs!" and foggys too happy to notice matt forgot to flinch like he didnt know foggy was coming

Foggy gets the sign to matt and he can tell how fuckin stoked matt is and all he can think about is how grateful he is that the two of them get to work together and fucking do GOOD together and he's trying to express that in his awkward foggy way and he's GOING to kiss him right then and there!! hes about to do it look out world!!! and then matt says "you're NOT going to kiss me" and foggy realises haha YEAH THATD BE A BAD IDEA HUH and jokes it off and gives matt another hug - "i'll be careful not to break the ribs this time, buddy, seems like you've been falling over and hurting yourself enough recently,"-

foggy almost kisses matt out of anger when he finds out he's daredevil, when he won't shut up about how this city needs him and foggy would have done the same and blah, blah, bullshit because maybe then he'd FUCKING listen to him, or at least it'd shut him up, but the honest betrayal he feels - at matt for not telling him and at himself for STILL having a part of him that wants to kiss matt - is enough to get him just to leave : ^)

alright. the gang is watching fisk get carted away and see that SHIT, he's broken out, of course it wasnt going to be this easy. matt puts karen in a taxi goes to run off and foggy grabs him by his coat because MATT. you're not going to go fight fisk in your god damn pajamas right now it's too dangerous you're going to die you stupid son of a bitch idiot

and of course matt doesn't listen, he tells foggy to get back into the car with karen, go to his place, they'll be safe there, and grabs his own taxi

and foggy's left to sit there with karen in the cab as it drives Oh Too Fucking Slowly to matt's, and he's mumbling curses all the way and karen is trying to calm him down, he doesnt know why he's so worried, and all foggy can think about is what if matt dies because i didnt stop him and what if karen never gets to hear it from him and about 10 billion what-ifs that wont leave him the FUCK alone, and he sits next to the windowsill he knows matt comes in through and waits, not even wanting to look at the tv because what if he sees worse news Hrgh

matt beats up fisk and he barely even waits for the cops to get there, he gets one look and confirms 'yup, that's mahoney,' and fucking BOOKS it to his apartment, he climbs through the window and foggy's just sitting there waiting, karens in the next room watching the broadcast at a 3 minute delay on her phone, matt doesnt have a tv hes BLIND >:,\

and when matt comes in, bloody and beaten up and doing That Panting Thing He Does, but definitley alive, foggy just fucking. grabs him by the shoulders and kisses him because HE IS A L I V E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and matt is suprised but he doesnt even try to protest because he's still riding the adrenaline from the fight

anyways. foggy pulls away for air and says 'you're so fucking stupid and i hate you' and then matt kisses hIM because uhh, thats FOGGY

and it's a minute later that matt senses another heartbeat and realizes karen's standing in the doorway, and she raises an eyebrow and obviously trying not to panic asks 'uh, foggy, pray tell, buddy, why you're making out with the devil in matt's bedroom' and foggy goes apeshit and tries to think of an excuse that doesn't invole 'uh thats matt' but it just kinda comes out as some stupid shit like 'i,,, uh,,,,, secret,...affair,,?i',m....gay." and matt just sighs and pulls off his helmet like "hey karen. it's me. hey karen whats poppin its me blind matt murdock" and needless to say they all have a Lot to talk abt

DRUNK KISSING:

so like. the first year they're together matt and foggy go out a lot, and it's mostly foggy dragging matt places and matt reluctantly coming because A) if someone doesnt watch foggy this idiot is going to puke and pass out in a ditch and B) he really like his company shh. no telling because that gay

anyways matt usually only drinks a little but foggy is mad lightweight right. he doesn't get shitfaced too often, usually only after exams or when he knows he has no classes the next day. when he does get shitfaced though he absolutley loses his shit and becomes even more touchy than usual, which is VERY TOUCHY because fuck you its my au and i get to choose the default affection levels

so basically. once foggy starts hugging matt and leaning on him and whining into his shirt about the 'hot girls' and 'killer nachos' at the party matt knows it's time to head home and foggy is too busy wrapping his arms around matt to notice he's being dragged out untill its too late

and y'know, thats fine, that's usual, all normal friend stuff, except what foggy also has a tendancy to do when he's drunk is kiss matt. sometimes its on his cheeks, or his forehead, or his shirt?? matt doesnt get that one??? and sometimes foggy even tries to go for the lips when hes particularly wilde. matt knows to expect this by the third time they go out, but it's still always a suprise when it happens, because sometimes it'll be out of nowhere when theyre walking back, or foggy'll stop matt and grab his cheeks and kiss him? sometimes they'll get all the way back to the dorm and matt will make foggy lie down and foggy will grab his shirt and pull him close enough to give him a quick peck before rolling over and promptly beggining to snore

which, y'know, is absolutley great for a maybe-gay-for-his-best-friend-catholic. what's also great is that foggy never seems to remember the fact he kissed matt the night before, and if he does, he definitley does NOT bring it up

so that's fine. whatever. thats life and matt will pretend like he doesnt care when foggy gives him a smooch because hes straight and loves girls and jesus christ, no homo, amen

but THEN. . then matt and foggy have been studying for exams for weEKS and theyre FINALLY DONE, FINALLY, and they are both going to get wasted out of their mINDS you better BELIEVE IT

so they do! and eventually they stumble back to their dorm together and sit together on the floor with a half-downed bottle of tequila and matt decides fuck it. he tells foggy he's never kissed a guy and foggy is like "haha cool. i have." matt's like "haha was it good" and foggys like "hell yeah man better than girls" so matts like hmm. "foggy i think i want to kiss a guy" and you can guess where this is goin

foggy is an oblivious little shit and just thinks matt's having a gay awakening so he's like "oh cool" and matt starts vibrating at inhuman frequency because FOGGY THIS IS THE ONE TIME I"M BASICALLY ASKING YOU TO DRUNK KISS ME AND YOU D O N T" so he just goes "haha yeah." and foggy's like "haha yeah"

and then matt chugs the bottle of tequila and says "foggy i think i wanna kiss you" and then he does but he's a good christian and also stupid so he just like. goes mwah on foggy's cheek

and foggy stares at him for like 15 seconds before basiclly challenging him to 'kiss him like a man, murdock, how are you supposed to get the gay experience if you dont go all in' and then they make out for like 20 minutes and life is good

(they both wake up w the worst fucking hangovers and theyre passed out on the floor and matt's like "foggy....im gay..." and foggys like "haha do you remember i kissed you" and matts like "????foggy i kissed YOU" and foggys like "oh yeah you did. you should have done that earlier" and matts says "????you were too busy trying to kiss me" and foggy goes "oh haha i was. cool" and then they fall back asleep...then they.....boyfriend.s)

FLOWER SHOP/TATTOO ARTIST AU:

so. matt is a florist and he runs a little shop across the street from an empty piece of real estate. a tiny place that used to be a deli but had just the WORST sandwiches, it was no wonder they closed down, god damn. anways. matt runs his shop with his best friends kirsten and karen who have IMPECCABLE taste in flowers and less impeccable taste in impulse control and not being huge lesbians.

one day this dude pulls up into matt's shop. his request is maybe the strangest matt's ever heard - 'can you get me two bouquets of like, the most metal flowers you have? like, ones that just look super cool but also, yknow, smell super good and sick and shit?' 

matt laughs, and tells the guy that yeah, he can't help with the looks part, but he'll make sure to get him some that smell 'quote' sick and shit, come back tomorrow morning and they'll have some ideas-hey, what are these for anyways?

and the guy tells him, oh, hah, i'm moving in across the street, opening a little tattoo place? wanted some flowers to make it seem more, uhh....welcoming. matt laughs and says yeah, sure, cool, and tells him if he has anymore questions to call the store and ask for matt. the guy tells him if he ever wants a tattoo just cross the street and ask for foggy and unless the flowers matt gives him really suck he won't do him dirty and tattoo a dick on him

so anyways, they have a couple meetings, foggy decides on the flowers he wants and thanks matt and tells him hey, he should come check out the shop, it's opening tomorrow, and foggy wants to be able to point to the guy who did the sick florals. matt doesnt have anything better to do and he likes the sound of this guy's voice so hell, he might as well

when he goes over matt realizes oh shit. he really is out of his element here, but he asks the guy at the counter for 'foggy' and is led over to  a corner where foggy's sitting and tattooing...himself? and matt realizes hey. i kind of have no idea what this dude looks like

so he sorta. sits there awkwardly untill he asks like. 'uh. i cant actually see what youre doing' and foggy goes OH IM SO FUCKING STUPID. i'm. man, saying this out loud seems kinda really stupid and cheesy i cant believe i have to do this...i'm....it's one of the flowers in the bouquet you made me....i just thought it looked really neat and smelled good and it....kinda reminds me of you and OK i KNOW that sounds really weird we met like 4 days ago BUT you seem super cool and i kinda hope we can maybe like. be friends or hang out or something,

and matt's like. o//////o yeah okay. uh. thats cool. thats cool uh im sure the flower is really pretty haha i love that type haha UH DO YOU WANT TO GET LUNCH OR SOMETHING haha maybe ill get a flower tattoo one day its pretty cool that you do tattoos UH IM FREE TOMOROW WAIT MAYBE THATS TOO SOON IM SORRY UH IM FREE WEDNESDAYS,

and foggy just kinda laughs and says 'no, tomorrow works,' and hey! they make plans and get coffee together and matt's like so. what tattoos do you have and foggy starts listing a bunch and eventually matt's like :( i wish i could see them they sound beautiful and foggy's like. here. heres my arm can i. yeah ok. and he grabs matts ar,m and he's like ok. feel the skin, its still a little raised can you feel that? ok, run your fingers over here and i can like. tell you wjats there

cue like an hour of sensual arm touching and tattoo explaining and the more matt learns about foggy and his tattoos and the more he hears the way he talks the more he's like A) oh fuck, i kinda really like this guy whos letting me feel up his arms and B) do i want a tattoo? i kind of want a tattoo

anyways. time jump they hang out a bit more, foggy always comes into matt's shop and talks to him in between customers, shows him the patterns he's designing, etc, and one day he comes in with a paper that has a design of some flowers on it and shows it to matt and as he's running his fingers across it he stops and says 'foggy? will you do this to me'

and foggys like 'bud are you sure? first tattoo, right, do you-are you really sure you want to do this, like, when, and wh" and matt's like 'shut up and put this ink in my skin before i chicken out' so matt sits through a PAINFUL ASS TATTOO and when it's done he's like FOGGY CAN I TOUCH IT CAN I TOUCH IT FOGGY CAN I TOUCH IT and foggy has to physically restrain matt from fondling his tattoo because its FRESH MATT

so foggys like 'ok, this is cause for celebration! babys first ink! we;re getting beers cmon' and they both go out to drink and matt's like 'hey foggy...can i touch more of your tattoos' and foggy's like 'uh, sure, i have another armfull,' and they do that for a while untill matt gets to the one foggy did the first time he visited foggy's tattoo parlor and foggy's like hah. remember this one? and matt's like yeah. i do. and they kinda just. sit there for a minute and then foggy's like 'ok. im gonna kiss you now punch me if you hate this, flowerboy' and matt absolutley does not punch him, thank you very much

and when they finish having their moment matt's like 'wow. i shoulda....i shoulda asked to feel you up again way sooner if i knew you were gonna do that' and foggy's like 'hey...i'd let you feel me up anytime' and they both kind of laugh and decide ok, worm, this works, and decide theyre gonna do that more often

they start to go out for drinks / dinner / lunch / any time they possibly can, and matt learns the curvature of foggys (suprisingly muscley?) arms down to a t, but he runs out of space to run his fingers over one night, and foggy kisses him and says 'hey. i've got more tattoos, y'know, but i don't think many people would appreciate it if i showed them off to you here' and matt is like 'wh-O H'

and foggy laughs and drags him to his apartment and pulls of his shirt and says 'ok, we're alone now. tell me what you feel' and matt sits on the bed in front of him and theres lots of sensual chest stroking going on and then yeah. matt gets fed up with all this touching foggy and not enough of foggy touching him and. they fuck oopsie

and after that they decide worm. that was good, wanna do that more often, holy shit, and decide to actually date date and thats like. thats that babey!

but years later they open a joint shop, an absolute mess of soft/punk aesthetics and everyone knows them because matt is still a soft florist who just has a fewwwww dozen flowers inked all over him and foggy is the punk god who flexes his sleeves all over town but flexes his soft boyfriend husband even more tHE END

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 11 - "The Time has Come to Slay the Beast" - Duncan

OWEN

fuck you jay have ur damn confession

-

In other news, I did not too bad on the immunity and then realized that if I win a third in a row I'm going to be the biggest target which was literally the opposite of the strategy I was going for so hopefully someone did it in less than seven. My strategy was good tho I'm pissed like it is literally not in me to not try/throw a comp and it's not good news but like I just WANTED TO DO WELL OK THIS COMPETITION WAS FUN DFSAJKNHFJDSKHFSKJADFH I'M CRYING Anyways! It's final nine and this is the round to make a move, I think. Sam really pissed me off last round being all wishy washy and non-committal. People like Ryan blame Trevor for being controlling but it's literally what Sam wants. Sam wants to be "told" what to do, or to not have an opinion, so he doesn't seem like the leader he is but like... It's so obvious to see through. He acts like he doesn't know what's going on or what other people think, but he does. Take an acting class, betch! I don't know if it's smarter to go for Sam or Ali or JD. I guess like... Sam: Pros, he's the biggest threat of the three and he has an idol and he personally acts like an idiot even though I really wanted to work with him he gives me NOTHING and I want revenge! Damn! The con would be that...he has an  idol and he's always paranoid af and he'll probably play it. Another con is that his minions Ali/JD can be easily swayed without him, and someone could scoop them tf up. Ali: Pros, Sam has mentioned needing to get Ali out although idk if it was a lie or not. He's got the best social connections out of everyone and people genuinely want him to win. Cons, he's arguably more loyal than Sam and he's a lot less frustrating to talk to and I like him. Also leaving Sam in the game with an idol after taking out his ally is not a good. JD: Pros, she's the least likely to be expected as a target, she like....is so naive in terms of trying to save Ryan last round and then telling Trevor "oh you're the leader" like, girl bye. Cons, Ali/Sam could still be in the game as a tight duo, and also she seems the easiest to beat in the end of the three.... Idk! I don't know. It also depends on what I can get Logan/Duncan/Lydia/Trevor to agree on, if anything. And also like... immunity results will matter. And Sam's idol. And then like idk what Ryan is gonna do! So! We! Will! See! I! Guess!!!!!! Also Ryan messaged me this morning and like I do want to work with Ryan still but I'm worried that he views me as tight with Trevor and if I say anything to him or give him any info he can use it to turn others against Trevor and I so dskjafhadsjf idk what to do about that but we'll see if he messages me again huh!

DUNCAN

noh wow! Oh Wow!! OH WOW!!! 

An alliance called "oh wow!" Just was made between Owen Logan and I, which is good bc I need two of the people I'm closest to to have some type of trust with each other and not come after each other's necks. In other news I crackt the code in mastermind in 5 guesses!! I'm very happy and proud of my score even if I don't win immunity, but it would be a good confidence booster tbh. And one last thing. Whoever told RTP I was leading a charge against him, you better watch your back because I'm saltier than a tortilla chip. I hope they have their boxing gloves on, bc I'm ready to swinG

JD

I'm not going to lie, I'm really frustrated.  The touchy subjects really did bother me because me and Ali are both playing this game, we might not be the ones calling all the shots that that doesn't mean we aren't in the conversations. I get were people would say it and I see how it was the easy way to do it, the newbies are getting pulled along. That's fine, cheers. AliWelp, skype killed the hype, and potentially my game. Lydia had proposed this amazing big move for tonight, but I'm scared these tech issues might ruin it. Like... ughhh such a shame. Anywho, on a positive note, I made Final 9! :) Outlasting, 13 people already is phenomenal, so that's amazing! I'm ready to go for broke now. Ideally, I want Trevor,Owen,Sam and Ryan out as the next four boots, as the four biggest threat for the end. My dream F3 is JD and Logan, with Duncan as a possible alternative, and Lydia as a 4th choice. They're the people I think I have the biggest chance of hopefully beating. Lydia is dangerous though, so I don't want her going too far...

RYAN

[7:36:08 PM] Ryan Palmer: i mean we don't really have another choice lmfao [7:36:19 PM] Ali: yeah, we're kinda limited for options eek Gee....limited for options against that alliance....gee....its almost as if....SOMEONE COULD HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DO THIS FOR 2 ROUNDS....if only ppl like matt or david who would have voted with us were here....i seriously cant with these ppl....i literally told everyone if they were gonna wait it was gonna be too late....fuck

JD

Rob getting into the jury, I don't know how I feel about that. I don't think Rob was really happy with us when he got voted out. 

LOGAN

Sorry I'm late on confessionals :( Anyway! Owen made an alliance chat with me, himself, and Duncan, which I'm happy with. Ali pitched the idea to me to have an alliance with Lydia, myself, JD and Ali. That sounds workable, and suddenly I see the ground beneath my feet in this game. I need to work out how to get to the end from here - I still do not have a solid f2, which worries me. I could go for a f3 with Owen and Duncan and play the middle of those two, but Trevor is? Talking to me? Wild. I guilt tripped Ali so badly last round because he told me the vote was for David and *insisted* that, and I nearly voted for David, but thanks to Duncan... whew. Saved that. But now Ali feels super guilty. Ethos, logos, pathos? Using them all, but pathos was my friend then. Good use of pathos, actually. My english teacher wishes. David is gone now anyway, which I feel sorta bad about, all the boys in this game are super cute and too pretty to be getting early boots. I do trust Duncan, but I'm not 100% how much. At least we aren't viewed as a duo. But he said it himself, we were two people brought together by unfortunate circumstances, and in my experience, that never works out. But I'll stick with you, for now. We'll see. At this point, I can't win this game. I maybe could get fifth? Maybe. If I really work it. My UTR game won't cut it, I really need to be MOR, or else I'm getting the block. Time to show my value to people, or become fifth juror - one of the two. 

OWEN

I think as of right now the ideal final three for me would be myself, Logan and Lydia. Getting there though with that specific group is...not necessarily the easiest thing. Especially because I've basically sworn not to screw over Trevor or Duncan. And I don't really want to have to put either of their names down, but I know they're bigger threats than I am. Maybe I could beat them in the end... But do I really want to beat Trevor and have him lose in the finals a third time? I want Trevor to do well and I want to see him win. But I want to win too! So I'm at a bit of a conflict here. Ideally, Sam/JD/Ali go now and probably another one of them goes next. Maybe it could be like... Sam and JD or Sam and Ali. Then at final seven I think it would be good for me if Trevor left. It'd have to be at seven because that way, Trevor/myself/Lydia could vote one way and then Duncan/Logan/Ryan/Thing 1 or 2 (whichever is left) could vote Trevor. Then at a final six, maybe the other Thing (Ali or JD) goes. Final five would have to be Duncan. And the final four would be me, Ryan, Lydia and Logan? Then Ryan goes fourth? Maybe? That's one way to get there but that counts on a lot of things going right with immunity and idols and also that counts on me being very aware of Trevor and Duncan both leaving and potentially having a hand in that and that's....not good! NOT GOOD. ugshfsdfsd

OWEN

SOOOO! JD won immunity which limits my options to Ali and Sam I guess. But I did have a plan. Trevor mentioned that Sam told him that Ali has to go eventually. So my thought is that Trevor tells Sam that it's time to do Ali. And so Sam thinks we are voting Ali, he knows the votes will be me Trevor Logan Lydia and Duncan against Ali. And that way like maybe there's a chance he just votes Ali Idk!!! But then in reality the five of us vote for Sam. That way the idol is gone, guaranteed. He either plays it on Ali and leaves or he votes for Ali and keeps his idol. The only problem is if he doesn't believe us and plays it on himself instead, which makes me think maybe like.... idk maybe Logan uses the extra vote they supposedly have and we split the vote somehow. I guess that plan would depend on what ryan is doing. And I wouldn't want to tell ryan the plan in case he still goes for Trevor. Idk!!!! I guess we could also make it seem like we are going for Sam and vote Ali instead but I think it's more realistic to do the other plan since sam has expressed interest in voting out Ali anyways??? It's hard calling shots because I'm not immune this time, but Trevor does still have an idol as well so maybe he could play it just in case. Idk!!! We will see

JD

I won immunity! I'm so excited right now, those puzzle skills my preschool teacher was talking about finally paid off! *happy dance* 

SAM

HEY! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET RIGGED OUT OF THE GAME. oooooh hosts you really had to do that huh I would be beyond stupid to not think that I was the target of the other side this round--people know that I'm close with Trevor, but I am willing to drop him at any time. So this round, even though I knew I was in some hot water, I was like "oh, I have Trevor's idol in my possession, and I have one that he's willing to play on me. I'm like a poached egg not fully hard boiled--I'll be fine." THEN OH THEN Duncan steals Ali's ability to go to the Labyrinth and YOU KNOW HWAT HE FUCKIN FINDS?????? HE FINDS A DAMN ADVANTAGE THAT ALLOWS FOR ME TO NOT VOTE AND MAYBE SUPPOSEDLY NOT HAVE ANY ITEMS PLAYED ON ME????? FUCK THIS????? the worst part is that I don't know what I'm up against! because owen isn't being forthcoming to trevor! so i don't know if trevor can play an idol on me at all or if i can't play an idol just on myself but I know I can't vote! so i need to give an extra vote to someone who will vote on my side!!!!! i hate!!!!! this!!!!!! so now i actually have to scrape for literally everything while other bitches don't even have to lift a finger!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHH!! hosts if i go out tonight i love you BUT this is a shitty way to go that i don't really have control over!! call me malcolm binch!

-

sorry for all my yelling like i just thought this one was meant to be. i was ready!!!!

OWEN

So the plan is pretty much set in motion. I think Logan and Duncan are on board to vote Sam. AAAADN duncan apparently found a power to cancel sams idol???? Which would be???? Greater than Frosted Flakes. But this just makes it extra clear that's Sam CANT KNOW anything is going on. Which is where I might've messed up. Trevor said he would talk to Sam but I got the feeling he wasn't really doing it and I told him about Duncan's power oop and he was sketched out by Duncan, as he is. Cue the argument about whether or not Sam should go!!!! Yay!!!! So I've basically just gotta convince Trevor to do it. And to keep his mouth shut. And he's....impulsive. I don't think he will. The good thing is he's coming here tonight!!!!! So if I need to I think I can convince him in person. I just have to hope by then it's not too late :( I'm not afraid to flirt my way to Trevor's brain to try to get him to follow through with this. All is fair in love and war.

OWEN

talked to sam and he's high key paranoid what a surprise I brought up doing Ali....screams. He said no, pretty much, and mentioned doing Trevor instead which to me seems sketch cause idk why he would suggest that so easily to me of all people. He wasn't being very clear, like usual. I basically told him to wait until final seven SHSKDJDJJD to do Trevor and Idk he said he wasn't seeing the picture and so when I asked him like... what the picture is what he thought the next few votes would be he said he didn't think that far cause he's not there yet. My bullshit radar is goin off!!!!!! :~) I'm not sure what the convo meant. It's the first time he truly wanted to talk to me. But he did bring up just going for Logan so idk. We agreed to talk again in a little bit. And Trevor will be here in person soon. And I just need this all to work out because i think if it doesn't then I'm toast Know this tho if Trevor ruins this for me then I'm not holding back anymore!!!!!!!!!! I'll help him pack his bags!!!! 

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/JyDLok_-pDI

JD

So this vote is going to be reealllly messy I think. So far as I know: Owen and Duncan want to vote out Sam, Trevor doesn't wanna do that because ovbs, Sam gave him the idol and he feels like Sam will probs be usefully (sorry for the bad abbreviation, Im just lazy right now). From what I've heard Trevor wants to vote Duncan now though because he, I'm guessing, wants to break up him and Owen. WHY the fuck are you not voting OWEN!? I've run the idea by Ali and I want to get Trevor to play the idol for ether Ali or Sam cus, why not~ get the idol out of Trevors hands and if we can get the idol played on someone other then Owen then why not vote for Owen? It pisses me off the Trevor doesn't want to talk to me, I mean, okay your with your boyfriend who is in the game but if he asked it's not hard to lie and say I'm freaking out over thinking and Trevor is chilling me out. I mean, I'm 100% on thinking that Owen thinks of me as the goat so he'd believe it. My plan would be so vote Owen. Right now the majority is split on Owen and Trevors side. Owens: Owen, Duncan, maybe Logan = voting Sam or Ali, we've heard Ali as a second or a 'go vote this one' to get some throw away votes. Trevor: Trevor, me, Ali, Lydia, Sam, Ryan = voting for Duncan to break up Owen and Duncan? My plan is a three way split for Sam, Owen and Duncan, then on the revote we vote our Duncan (sorry hostys Im sure ties suck) but really I just want to fuck up the votes and vote Owen. Hoping that Trevor will use his idol on Sam, assuming he cant use it on himself... I guess we'll see. 

OWEN

So!!!! Of course Trevor gets here and tells me that they're all voting for Duncan!!!! Lol!!!!!!! He wasn't even gonna tell me except it was more convenient for him since we were about to be together for 48 hours. Anyways. Thanks for lying all day and then planning on leaving me out to dry ;~) looks like I won't have any trouble lying to you from now on huh!!!!!!! Anyways, I immediately got to work convincing him to do Sam instead, and then we called Lydia finally and talked to her about it. Except Trevor also told everyone all of this SHIT and I'm so mad I literally like. At least he bought me chipotle. Anyways!!!! Lydia was planning on telling Ryan to vote Sam and also they all think that Duncan's rags make it so that Sam can't have any idols played on him even from other players. Idk it's messy and i just want to sleep. I'm hoping I convinced them to switch their votes. Sam needs to go now that he knows I was after him. Also lol it's funny cause I asked Trevor as soon as he walked in if He told Sam to message me lmao I knew it was fishy af Idk it's all fishy. Why does Trevor feel the NEED to ruin!!!!! Djdjdjdjd Jesus. Also surprise he's not giving me the idol. Or playing it on me. I hope it bites him in the ass when people like duncan and ryan really do wanna vote him out and I'm not there to cover his ass. Literally DJDJDJD fuck all this At this point I'm just hoping it's not me. Idk if it would be. I've worked too hard today for it to be me, tbh. But really? Damn

-

this game gave me acne and soiled my crops

JD

So I might have tried strong arming Trevor into this split by saying that Sam is easily dropped if the vote goes wrong. I don't think that he liked that cus not hes talking to Ryan about voting Sam. Which I don't get but it would mess up the split. 

ALI

This vote has just aged me! Sam is maybe going, which sucks. Duncan is a liar, Logan is lying to me. Sam gave me his extra vote though, so hopefully TLJoA can vote togethed next time, as a majority. Samit was a good run, folks

DUNCAN

Heyyyy! Umm idk if this will be my last confessional or not until allstars but here we go. The time has come to slay the beast. It's time to make a move. It's time to take down sam.in short. I was allegedly the original target of rtp plus the unholy trinity, and Lydia and Trevor were on board. Then Owen talked to them and convinced them to vote Samuel only because I had my handy rags. It was a conditional agreement. But umm hopefully no one else will play an idol on sam, and hopefully everyone who is telling me they're voting sam is telling the truth. The thing is, if I get voted out tonight it's okay. I didn't come here to make it to the end and win. This is a move I need to make to help me win. So if I'm going down, I can say I did what I said I set out here to do when I applied. I came to win, not to be a coward