9/25 update on the Nautilus, for anyone curious. Details below (long), but in summary: the damage is more expensive than we'd hoped. We will have to buy Nautilus back as salvage and repair her mostly out of pocket. We still do intend to repair her, but it seems now it will be over a timeline of several years. The fundraiser for her repairs has been raised to reflect the new estimate, and will remain up as long as we're working on her, for anyone who wishes to contribute. I'm so unbelievably, profoundly grateful to all of you who have helped us so far. Thank you so, so much.
Damage: a joint survey was conducted Tuesday between surveyors from our insurance and that of the other vessel. It will be another 3-4 weeks before we have the official paperwork, but the consensus was that the damage approaches twice Nautilus' value. In addition to the mast and all the attached rigging, sails, hardware, etc., the teak deck would have to come up in order to address the damage to the deck and hull. This means that rather than pay for repairs, our insurance company is almost certainly going to write her off as a total loss.
I am waiting for formal documentation before sharing any exact numbers. Once we have them I will be more precise. But the general process as I understand it right now is below, for anyone curious about how everything shakes out.
What a loss means with insurance: my understanding is that repair damages are only covered by insurance up to the point a vessel is totaled. Since the damages almost certainly surpass her value then she would be totaled instead. In this scenario, our insurance would give us the value the Nautilus was insured for, and then pursue the other vessel's insurance for their own reimbursement. Additionally the other insurance might give us the income we lost over the remainder of the season, but whether that will happen and what amount that would be is up in the air, with the three different attorneys we consulted agreeing that we'd be fortunate to get any amount. Anything beyond that is apparently unlikely, any other legal pursuit would possibly lose us more money that we might hope to gain.
On our end: we took out a loan to buy Nautilus in April, and still owe the majority of it. By the terms of the loan, with a total loss we would have to pay back the full loan immediately. Then, because this is essentially our insurance 'buying' Nautilus from us, we would have to buy her back as salvage. The salvage price would be determined by the salvageable parts of her, and the surveyor. Hopefully it would be less than five figures, but it depends heavily on which insurance company actually ends up with her, and how exhaustively they tally up the pieces of her that they could sell. The surveyors could not tell us at the time of the survey who would end up with her or what they would charge. For the next month or two Nautilus is in a kind of purgatory where we do still technically own her, but only until insurance gets through the paperwork, which makes it difficult to begin any work right now.
Financially: when the dust settles, once the loan is paid and we own Nautilus once more as salvage, I think that based on the current estimates we may have some funds remaining. But even in the best case scenario - low salvage price, and we do receive lost income - it wouldn't be enough to finance all the needed repairs. My partner and I will be keeping the fundraiser up for as long as we are working on her, for anyone who wishes to contribute to her repair fund. Any help from anyone who would like to see her sailing again will always be deeply appreciated, but we're both aware it's an absurd number. If we fail to meet it, we're both keenly aware it's not through any lack of generosity - I cannot possibly express how grateful we are for the help we have received already, and what a massive difference it has made over the last month as we deal with the immediate and long-term fallout, covering her haul-out and towing and bills over the months it will likely take to resolve all this.
Fixing Nautilus: my partner and I are still committed to repairing her, despite the cost and the time involved. The thought of letting her be cut up for salvage is too heartbreaking to bear. But at the pace things are progressing and with the resources we have, it's obvious now that it's not feasible to fix her fully over the winter; it will instead be over the course of several years. However, my partner and I hope that by doing as much of the work ourselves as we are qualified for, we can bring down the overall cost of repairs by a fair amount. Additionally, the broken mast was built only a few years ago by a gentleman who still has the plans for it and is willing to guide us through the process of building a replacement. There is a possibility we can connect with a local boat building school's fledgling restoration program. And a great many people have offered their time, advice, expertise, and contacts. The timeline has changed, but we are not giving up on her.
In the meantime: with the survey done, we now have at least a general idea of what the future will look like. Since working nonstop to get Nautilus sailing again by June is not on the table any longer, my partner and I are currently figuring out a long-term plan for ourselves, our little company, and the Nautilus herself. We have discussed a few ideas, which I'll share more about once we settle on anything concrete. Nautilus herself is finally clear of wreckage, with the pieces of her mast on sawhorses beside her, her deck swept clean, solar panel plugged in, and a tarp over the worst of the damage. She's as safe as we can make her for now; there's nothing else we can do except wait for the wheels to turn.
Lastly: thank you all, more than I can say. I have been trying not to miserypost, but I have been having a very hard time dealing with this, as has my partner. It took us ten years to save the money we put into Nautilus, and the few months we were able to spend sailing her together were the happiest and proudest I have been in my life. We have lost the future we'd imagined, and regardless of how this resolves, we are never getting that time back. We are determined not to lose the Nautilus as well, but it has honestly been difficult some days to push through the grief. The one consistent silver lining has been the kindness and sympathy and outrage from everyone who has taken the time to reach out to us. I have been floored, over and over, by how many people we have rooting for us. I am never, ever going to be able to express my full gratitude to all of you. Without exaggeration, you have kept me going.
I will share more once we know more - exact numbers, exact damage, exact plans for repairs and the next steps. Until then, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
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I had a fantasy that I went to a best friends sleep over and ended up reading her older sister's diary :
Truth or dare
My friend says to me. I look in her eyes and I know I can't choose truth. She'll will come up with the most vile secert to get out of me.
"Dare !" I spit out in fear
"I dare you to sneak in to my sisters room read her diary and report back. " she says with a smirk.
Fuck me I tell her that , she's so childish. And that were on break from college.
"To bad, you pick dare or are you pussy? " she retorts saying the one thing that would convince me to go.
I'm not scared of her sister. She's only a 6'7 grunge base player who is 3 years older. What there to be scared of? It's not like whenever I'm here she rolls her eyes and slams the door. It's not like she refuses to eat dinner with us. Yeah and she wasn't to scary when she yelled at us after sneaking out to a slutty Halloween party. Fuck she hates me and I'm about to sneak into her room.
I decided to just swallow my fear and go for it besides she's not even home she has a gig.
I creep to the basement where her room is. Slowly the fear begins to still as before I enter her room I see the walls covered in electric guitars. Every color and style I could imagine. I stop to admire all the other equipment she has records, picks, amps and even some Cassettes.
I let out a breathe of relief as open the door to her room and she isn't there. Now all I got to find is that damn book.
I first go to her night stand and begin to peer in. I taking a moment to process what I'm looking a, Lacy lingerie. Upon realizing its contents I quickly shut the drawer. Embarrassed I move on desperate to get this night over with. I look at the bottom drawer and am left starring. Toys so many toys in different shapes and sizes. But what left me shocked wasn't just the various toys. I mean were both adults.
It was the was the paddle. Wooden and bigger that my hand I wondered why she would have something like this. With stupid curiousity I lift it up to examine it. The paddle was in perfect condition, like it had never been used. The thing has hearts cut into it and says in big black bold letters "Scream". I begin to put it back but as I do to other items that it was hiding catch my eye. A pair of metal hand cuffs and a strap harness. I can't help but imagine who she's been using these on. At that thought I quickly put the items back in and close drawer.
If she doesn't hate me, she'll definitely hate me now. I went through her stuff and I hadn't even found the book. I sigh before moving over to the other night stand and open the drawer. This time though jackpot the book was sitting in plain sight. As I pick up the black leather book I curse myself for not looking through this one first.
For a second I hesitate, this is total over step of her boundaries. Besides I could just go back and lie that I read it. I decided that a good idea but as I'm about to put the book back I think about how I could figure out why she hates me. I ponder for a moment but I got to know what I did. I open the book.
It turns out the book is less of a diary and more of a shadow journal. I begin to flip until I find a page about me. The prompt reads " What is your toxic or most obsessive desire? "
Slowly I take in what she writes. "If I had a second alone with my sisters best friend I think I'd devour her. " my eyes stretch wide as I keep reading. "The things I want to do to her body are just ... I want to see her begging and crying under me. I want to punish her for being so damn tempting with those little skirts and short shorts."
I bite my lip but flip through more pages until I see something that mentions me. The prompt "What is a bad financial decisions you've made recently? " I can't help but lean closer while reading. " I was checking in on one of the local sex shops I frequent when I saw a cute little paddle. I couldn't help myself not when I imagine her below me pleading. I imagined pulling her hair and telling her to shut up and asking if she was a good girl. She said "yes daddy" and fuck did that just scratch the right itch in my brain. I told her then she needs to take her punishment like a good girl. Before laying down on her ass while she screamed and cried. Of course I gave my pretty girl kisses after I bit her ass. I have to remind her who she belongs to. And now I want to buy her a collar. "
I'm horrified by what I just read but I couldn't put the book down. I continued on. "What is the most fucked up fantasy you've had recently? " "I imagine her coming to my house and asking for my sister like always but this time I walk her to my sisters room even though she's not home. I lock the door behind her and get really close while she backs up. She looks so cute and she's wearing that tight purple dress she wears. I grab her and begin to kiss her while she pushes me away. I bite her lip and she crys into my mouth while I shove my tongue down her throat. She fights me as I throws her on the bed. But I'm stronger and able to hold her down. She begins to cry as I rip off that stupid fucking dress and kiss down her neck to her perfect tits.
I then slide my hand down to her pretty panties and rub her clit through the lace. She makes a noise and trys to squirm away which cause me to hit her. I tell her to be a good girl and this will all be over soon. She fucking whimpers but stops struggling. I continue to play with her cute clit till she soaks her panties. I whisper "see you want this." Before ripping her panties off of her. And sink a finger in. She's so fucking wet. I slide another finger in and then another. Till I'm three fingers deep. She makes the most beautiful noises while I take her apart on my hand. The more I take her the more wet and docile she becomes. I fuck her like this until she's dripping down her leg and begging me to stop. She pleads so cutely I can't help it. I pull down my pants revealing my biggest strap. Pushing it in while she just lies their limp like a perfect toy. I slam in and out of her taking both her virginities on her best friends bed. By the time I cum she's quivering and her cunt is unrecognizable. I take a picture and drag her to my room leaving her juices on my sisters bed. So the most fucked up fantasy I've ever had is raping my sister's best friend on her bed for hours and its reoccurring. I'd never do it of course I want her to enjoy and consent to it I'm not a monster it's just a fun fantasy. "
I begin to rub my legs together at that last one. I put the book back having had my fill when I see her sister standing right there in the door way causing me to scream.
She looks pissed and close the door and locks it behind her.
"How much did you read? "
"Nothing" I shout frozen to where I stand.
"Bullshit" she says stalking closer
"Just the crush thing and it's okay!" I say as she gets even closer.
"Lier"
"Okay I read the thing about the paddle but that's it!" I wince
She grabs my shoulders and looks at me. A chill run down my back. I flinch.
Squeaking out a "Please, don't!"
She sighs and let's go of me before sitting on the bed.
"You read the fantasy? "
I nodded slowly.
"The rape one. "
I nodded again
She sighs "Fuck, this is not how I wanted you find out! Actually I was hoping you'd never find out! "
She puts her hands on her head.
"Sit down, I'm not going to actually do any of that to you. "
I sit beside her. While she remains still before taking a deep breath in.
"So you read it, why? "
I meekly say "A dare"
"Fuck! It was my sister wasn't it? I'll kill her. "
I stay quite she knows the answer.
She sighs "So what do you want to ask me? And then I'm gonna ask you some questions, okay.
I nod.
" How long?" I ask
She breathes "Since your freshman year, of course I wasn't going to act on it. It's just, I thought I thought of you like another little sister and then I started watching out for you. Which turned into watching you and before I knew it I couldn't look away. "
"Is that why your we're mad at us on Halloween that one year ? "
"Are you kidding me? You were basically wearing lingerie. I mean a skimpy pink bunny suit, I know you were a senior but still what if someone tried something? And on top of all that you guys snuck out! You know I had to hide that from mom and dad so you could stick around. "
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, you looked... amazing. Look I don't just like you because of your body, I mean don't get me wrong it's a plus but I also love your laugh. How your the first one to try to help. Even when my sister started doing her project last minute you where there to help. I love the way you melt around animals and your stupid dance. I like you okay. Not just what you have to offer." She says while looking up at me and holding my check.
We're so close. I lean in to close the gap but she pulls away.
"Don't do that, don't give me a pitty kiss! "
I lean forward "I'm not, I just want to try this. "
Our lips finally connect and its like electricity I feel it from my head to the tips of my toes. I shiver we break apart to breathe then begin again. It feels amazing, but not close enough. I crawl closer until I'm sitting on her lap and kiss her while wrapping my arms around her neck. The kiss begins to get more and more dangerous as we go on. Her hand begin to wonder and grip. While I rock into her lap. Soon she breaks the kiss.
"Hey, I don't know if I'm getting mix signals but can I touch you? " she says with her pretty eyes.
I pause for a minute then get a sly idea "Yes, daddy! " I whisper into her ear.
"Fuck " she says before pressing me down to where my back touches her bed. "Who knew you'd be such a damn brat. " she says while kiss down on my neck
I whine as she bites my shoulder. "What's the matter ? You've never been touched like this? "
She lowers her hand down my skirt and begins to rub while I stutter "No, then again no ones touched me. "
She pause "What?"
"You guessed right. "
"Are you sure you want to do this because we don't have to. I can... " I quiet her
"I'm sure , I trust you. In fact I want you to do to me what you wrote about in your little book. Y'know the thing with the paddle. "
"Are you sure that's a little advanced. "
"I'm sure, do you not want to? "
"No I want to, fuck I want to" she says while reaching into the night stand.
"Good, how do you want me, daddy? "
"Fuck your going to be the death of me. Across my lap baby. "
I lay across her lap. And give a wiggle.
"Let's see, how many spanks? Maybe 4 spanks for your 4 years of teasing. Plus 3 for the 3 pages you read. Plus 5 for that slutty fucking costume that had me salivating for weeks. So 12.“
I whine
"Don't whine or I'll make it 15."
I stop.
" That's a good girl. " she says while ruffling my hair.
"Now we're going to use the stop light system, along with a safeword. Do you know how the stop light systems work and have a safeword in mind?"
"Yeah my safeword is rock. And the stop light systems works like red means stop, yellow slow down or change what your doing and green means keep going. "
"Correct, now I'm not going to be upset or disappointed if you safeword or want to stop okay. "
"Okay."
"Good now, count. "
The first hit stings
"One"
The second one burns
"Two"
The third positively aches
"Three"
The rest hurt but for some reason it leaves me feeling dizzy and so good.
"Twelve"
"Good girl are you, okay? "
"Yes."
"Okay how are you, are you okay to continue? "
I nod
"No girl I need a verbal answer what's your color? "
"Green, don't stop I want you to fuck me"
"Fuck, okay baby. " she says before digging in her drawer and strapping into her strap.
I flip around and spread my legs out and put my arms up.
"Wait babygirl, I have to make sure your prepped. " she says as she dips a cloused finger in while I whine
"Fuck baby your soaked. Did my girl like spankings that much? "
I nod
"Poor girls all layed out like a pretty little toy. "
I begin to moan as she adds another finger and begins pumping them in and out with her thumb on my clit. Then she goes fast and pumps in and out harder.
"I know baby it's so much, my fingers are so much for you. " she says while working me harder and harder until fuck... She stops.
"Not yet sweet heart, your gonna cum undone on my cock pretty girl. " she says as she pushes in slowly so slowly.
After bottoming out she waits a minute and I nod. After I nod she thrusts shallow slow thrusts. That feel amazing but leaves me wanting.
After a few minutes of that I grab her shoulders "Daddy, harder!"
"Fuck." She says while rolling her hips.
She lifts my legs up higher to my confusion before slamming in hard. The thrust again and again while I just take it letting her use my body.
"There you go baby. Sorry daddy though you wanted to fucked like a princess. I forgot how much of a slut you are. " she says while still pounding into me
And then she begins to rub my clit. It's so fuck much. Fuck I begin to cry and whine.
"That's it babygirl, cry on daddy's fucking dick" she begins rubbing my clit harder causing me to scream.
"Daddy, I don't want to get pregnant yet. " I say through dazzy tears
"Aww " she says while rubbing and thrust like she was trying to milk more nosies out of me "Don't worry baby you'll look so nice with my kids. "
I feel my body shake and arch and then everything thing goes limp. And my vision goes white. I hear a soft buzzing and for that moment I have no fucking idea what my name is.
"Comeback to me baby" she says my head barley follows her eyes
"Was it good? "
I nod
"Good." She says as she pulls out while I hiss. "It's okay. "
She then lays down beside me and holds me while I begin to come back down.
"You back? "
"Yeah" I say voice horsed
"Okay we'll put cream on you and clean you up later. Okay. "
I nod and cuddle closer
"Okay and baby you can not tell my sister yet. "
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came back from all in, slept a lot and, now i've woken up enough, i have some (many) thots:
i have mentioned a few times i'm p new to this wrestling thing still so this was my first show and it was one hell of a first wrestling show i tell you hwat
the audience in my section were a good lot, was nice to have so many people around me pop hard for a trans rights sign getting shown
i was not expecting adam and mjf getting the ROH titles, that was one hell of a way to start things off
good to see hook got his title back tho
saw the 'cash has got a gun' and 'please don't shoot him' chants coming a mile off. still hilarious tho.
got to see the best friends get a win live irl and in person. almost optimistic that they're finally on the right path to win the big one. almost. also the new drawing for their entrance. especially enjoyed the cringefail attempt at drawing a double decker bus. gg 10/10
also got to see chuck use the awful waffle on yuta live irl in person and then after the show encountering chuck live irl in person
my one (1) criticism - the women's match being so short and also saraya getting the belt? come on shida deserved more time being champion than that tk.
like tk if you wanted to have saraya get a home country win she should have been in a separate non title match (then we could have gotten one more women's match also so yeah)
i got so caught up in the wrasslin i forgot to grab food whilst the kitchens were still open so all i has was some (overpriced) popcorn. oops.
i actually met chuck taylor? like just ran into him whilst leaving the place and he commented on the fact i wass dressed as oc asfghk
but yeah he was chill and took a photo, didn't say much to him tho because he was clearly heading back to his hotel and i didn't want to delay him for too long
and we're doing this again next year bay beee let's goooo
meeting chuck?? actually getting to meet chuck???
might go the whole hog and book a hotel next time even tho i don't live that far away from london. guess it depends on money and hotel prices at the time idk we'll see
so yeah women's booking aside, great night great wrasslin' great times
yeah i may have mentioned the meeting chuck things a few times but getting into aew i had p much accepted that i would neever attend a show or meet any of the wrestlers like ever - but in one night i've attended their biggest show to date and also actually getting to meet one of them too??? and it was one of the guys i was specifically there to see??? that was so fucking wild in all the best possible way. like wow.
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