#it was a lot and it couldve been so fucking bad
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lads wear your seatbelts btw. do it for me
#seatbelt my beloved#sorry for all the accidentposting ive never been in one before and i still feel very nervous and shaken#like it was a t-bone that pushed me into another stationary vehicle#it was a lot and it couldve been so fucking bad#and that scares me so much#harrowing experience 0/10 would not recommend#im still like. well i cant go to sleep what if i somehow have secret internal bleeding that still isnt making itself known#nothing is hurting except touching the bruises but what if#when am i safe from secret internal bleeding the EMT vital checks didnt pick up on is it more than six hours is it days
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I don't think anything will ever be funnier than Banesaw's first of his only two sentences being, "Finally, I get to kill a Schnee," knocking Weiss unconscious in a single hit, then just chucking her into the next room so Blake can save her
#rwde#forever giggling and exasperated by this train sequence#this could have been avoided if it had been BLAKE fighting Banesaw and far more interesting too#they (presumably) had HISTORY. HE WANTED TO DRAG HER BACK INTO THE FOLD. THIS COULDVE BEEN PERSONAL#and literally NOTHING came out of a white fang member meeting a schnee so what was the FUCKING POINT SHAWLUNA#YOU DIDNT EVEN TRY#also im like 99% sure banesaw is just yatsuhashis model w a mask#anyway wtf was that train plot eh? was the purpose solely to cause chaos and destruction? wtf was the goal?#seriously early rwby schemes feel so random. reminds me of mcu thanos oddly enough#the way both cinder and thanos bip bopped between destruction for destructions sake and Big Smart Plan with Big Purpose is uh. Bad#and for the exact same reason: there was no structure or forethought in the writing process#also both were written by shitty men. i will fight the russos in a parking lot with nothing but my teeth#they absolutely shouldve been fired after civil war. absolute dogshit#do not ask me abt my mcu opinions i will never stop screaming#edit: forgot banesaw opened for roman at the white fang recruitment meeting so he has FIVE lines not two#two out of five lines are abt members of rwby yet neither amt to anything. yeehaw
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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I'm on day 5 of migraine hell and I've just been in bed all day while it's been storming outside, and just when I start to feel (physically) okay, I get hit by Big Sad.
#Eli Speaks#it shouldn't really surprise me#ive been getting hit by these specific sad feelings a lot latelt#*lately#and idrk what to do with them#ive been meaning to talk to my therapist about this#but theres so much fucking context to get into#and just thinking about that feels overwhelming#mostly emotionally#but if i dont talk about it ill also explode#unfortunately i cant even really talk about it here#doesnt feel right#i wish i could talk to the people who know#but thats the problem#they dont want to talk to me#i couldve reached out before things got too bad#but its too late now#its been too late for 6 months#hell its prob been too late a lot longer than that#but thats when they finally said it was too much#and i get it#i fucked up#im willing to accept that this is the repercussions of me fucking up#and that they have every right not to want to talk to me or have me in their life#but idk where that leaves me really#ive been trying to better myself#i want to be a better person and better friend#but i also wish i couldve done better in the past#ill try not to dwell ill try to move forward ill try to be better for the friends i still have and the friends i may make in the future#i hope theyre doing well and are getting what they were looking for genuinely
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tbh i know ppl have said cn players are speaking up but i don't actually know how true that is lmao. if hoyo took the initiative to make brown people actually real in game maybe they'd learn that pretty characters =/= pale skin but 🧍♀️
why i say this is like: (last time i checked) on twitter the english drip marketing has gotten vastly fewer likes/rt's than clorinde, emilie, or sigewinne's etc, while the jp twitter drip and bilibili posts have gotten basically the same amount of likes/shares as 4.7's. also maybe my search keywords are wrong but if you search natlan dark skin/纳塔黑皮 (on bilibili: video sharing site): there are some videos posting edits from twitter, and a fair amt of people comment 'oh this actually looks good' or 'oh not bad' etc, but there are also people just. being straight up racist, a good amount of people just writing this off as global fans organizing drama, and the usual retorts of 'just go play/make another game, genshin's supposed to cater to chinese aesthetics/beauty standards anyways' and im like. 🧍♀️
#it's heartening seeing people say oh x actually looks good/better w tan skin! < for a lot of the brown edits being reposted#but im also mostly sure tan/brown is the darkest they're willing to go ......#< ignoring that ka.china's intro uses a swahili word. ignoring that talking stick has a bunch of african refs#anyways. im glad (at the en backlash) i guess i just don't like false hope. also i really dont think gnsn's going to change anything even#if all cn fans collectively yelled at them. which isn't happening#i probably just wont talk about 5.x until the storyline is done#ramblings!#trying so hard to censor things so it doesnt show in tags; im just like. disappointed but not surprised. like from my limited literacy#if they make 5.x charas darker like how most edits have been making them; a lot of (cn) people would be like . oh not bad#but theyre not going to beg gnsn to change it after theyve already released the pale versions just to be '''''''''politically correct''''''#so then it's just the company. people are either neutral or liking the darker skinned edits so gnsn couldve not been a coward and made them#darker and they wouldn't have lost a significant amt of money. but like what the fuck is this#also my impressions may be skewed my sample size is limited and may not be representative of the population etc
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a handful of chinese songs that give me big robit energy
translating cpop songs is like my second favourite hobby so it's frankly surprising I haven't made this post sooner
Him - Floruitshow (马 - 福禄寿)
I've talked about this song on here before but this is the 3.7 song for me
the second chorus is definitely MR-SN but i like to think of the first chorus (Let me take a good look at your visage as we count down the time till the curtains’ close. Forgive me for holding back my voice so soon, do you know, in your graceful escape, all I see around me is disaster?) as VR-LA during the flashback sequence
specifically 'all I see around me is disaster' because yeah not wrong
'This time I’m not here to bring you home' just kills me like the please please take care of yourself because I can't be there with you anymore of it all
'Oh spring, oh warm sun, please come sooner, grant him a smooth and safe journey' same point, just the desperate plea for the universe to protect VR-LA because he can't do it himself anymore
How can I make you stay - Floruitshow (我用什么把你留住 - 福禄寿)
(conveniently I have actually done a full translation of this song!)
definitely one of the Maxim songs of all time
"You’ve believed that you can let your life pass in numbness, but [...] why do your tears fall in the moment of letting go?' YEAH because we've seen so many times how Maxim keeps trying to convince himself that he can stop just caring but it never works
'You say don’t fall in love, yet you’re unwilling to let go' same point, this man is in such denial about how he just can't stop caring
specifically the second verse feels a lot like Maxim waiting for VR-LA to return from Tu'narath
'You stay silent, holding onto starlight as you wait through your darkest hour. Your mind is struck, when familiar murmurs pierce your ears once more' aaaAAAAHH
the bridge (?) as a conversation between VR-LA and Maxim, VR-LA inviting Maxim to see the beauty and wonders of the world ('Do you want to see the sea of flowers blooming?', very 4.5 wedding invite honestly) but Maxim's trauma just would not allow him to take that risk ('If none of them come back, then who should I live for?')
fun fact the second version of the bridge in my translation ('You must stay to see the flowers bloom' onwards) is exclusive to that live performance of the song so it's not in the spotify version i linked here. as for which version you think fits Maxim more.. well.
Borrow - Mao Buyi (借 - 毛不易)
finally banging out a translation for this song was kinda the inspiration for me to make this post actually
the tldr of this song is that it's an unnamed/unidentified speaker asking to borrow various small things for the sake of somebody else (like 'an inch of frozen sunlight' to provide warmth in a cold world) so you can probably see where i'm going with this
'A simple ‘we have plenty of time’ etched into the soul to prepare for the chance of forced separation' ouch ow okay
'Those blown apart by these winds will say that they never loved deeply' / 'There is a sincerity that cannot be blown apart by this wind' DX-TR betraying the old crew vs VR-LA fighting through so much just to get them back
'There are tears that cannot be washed away by this rain' this line just haunts me. like in general
'An acre of land for him to call home, an ordinary life for him to live' as MR-SN watching over the old crew like I can't be there for you but I hope you will find peace and a home...
#rolling with difficulty#rwd starship#rwd professionals#my feel good hobby! as opposed to art: my feel bad hobby /j#im actually learning to play how can i make you stay on the guitar right now its a lot of fun but ow my fingers#ive also found a score for him but its super outside my skill level so we'll see how that goes#bmadd11 my beloathed#/also/ working on a little something based on that song but that wont... come into play for at least the next few weeks so#its an absolute monster of a project and school has started so i dont have high hopes for getting it done soon#i dont think i got to mention this on the actual post for borrow but ive literally been spinning that song in my brain since like 2020#genuinely. i've been thinking about how to translate that song for upwards of 3 years#grammar is just weird sometimes#i was gonna include let's go wandering by bibi zhou but i couldve SWORN i wrote a translation for that song before i just cant FIND it#spent 30 minutes hunting for the doc in my drive thats 30 minutes of my life wasted#but 'lets go wandering with a smile because we carry our home in our hearts' just fucks severely#also considered including forget your sorrows when the flowers bloom by zhou shen#bc im not gonna make a cpop post and *not* try and subject more poeple to zhou shen#but like that songs vibe is too... cottagecore to really make a good point there im just obsessed with one specific line#'If my memories are stolen and I forget all my love; I'll say to you “Hello!”#post amnesia vrla to the old crew??? the 'i dont know you. id love to get to know you again' of it all????#did this instead of my programming homework :|
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Hi your Blobs art is BEAUTIFUL from one Bloberta fan/artist to another (she's also my pfp)
AYAAA THANK YOU ^.^ I Love bloberta and I'm happy she has a fanbase hehe... always love women in fiction that are divisive . also ur art is gorg
#mail#idk i just like when characters are fucked up sometimes. they are my speciment under a microscope. my random leaf i found#in general moral orel handles the concept of people being failed by their society and environment so well.#bloberta couldve been an Ok person but she was neglected. they made her feel like she had to cling onto a man to be worth something#does that mean it excuses how she is a bad person sometimes? even if she was pushed to it because life just fucken sucks?#entirely up to you. but from what ive learned from the ending is that you can still be a good person. and it can start with you to make#things better for other people#etc#bloberta is just especially fascinating to me because her case just happens to a lot of women i know
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oh shit he wrote me a fucking apology.....
#well shit. now i feel rlly bad#he came into school looking pretty fucking sick and my other friend whos immunocompromised was very worried because if they catch anything#they wont be able to go on their meds and also might have to go to hospital again#and id told him the day before not to come in to school if he still felt sick bc he wasnt feeling too well last night#and he came in anyways and looked very sick#so i kind of got very mad at him and told him that he was putting our other friend in serious danger by being here and he should go home#because him staying at school would hurt both himself and others#what i didnt take into account was that hes been having a very rough time recently at home and i shouldve been way less harsh on him#and i definitely couldve been a lot nicer about it#so now i feel super fucking guilty bc he wrote me a whole apology#so now ive gotta go apologise to him too#its such a mess#ez.txt
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currently wondering whether collecting my blades for a group pic would be bad for my tenuous mental health atm
#speculation nation#i was trying to list out all my blades but i have far too many to reasonably do that way#so the natural next step would be to collect them all up for a pic#i havent done that in a while. now is probably not a good time.#like!!!!!!!!!! it's not like i'd be scared of hurting myself on them or anything#my knives are a solid for Cool Factor or Practical Use only. not for bad mental health times#but having a bunch of blades before me might not be the best plan#..but also. also. i kinda really wanna collect all my babies in one place#i dont even know how many i have. i have way too many & it's been several years since ive done a group count#/ picture. and this time i will TRY to not drop my machete on my finger#still sometimes astounded that i managed to drop my machete on my finger point-first and somehow did NOT take a finger off#i was very very lucky it hit the bone rather than the joint. hurt like a bitch and left a scar but couldve been Much worse#uhm. i learned from it though! no more big machete in unidentified boxes#oh yea i forgot my machete is still located in my bed frame. im so used to it i forget i literally sleep next to a machete every night#a naked blade as long as my leg. but i keep it wrapped up with the blade Down so no injuries have occurred!#........ when i talk about this shit like this it makes me astounded no one's tried to stage an intervention#ive only gotten lil knicks from my stupidity so i guess ppl have decided im not That much of a hazard to myself#the machete in the bedframe is just from paranoia anyways. just like my axe on the display case#oh fuck i forgot i own an axe. and a spear. and several swords.#and a CANE SWORD and a fuck ton of pocket knives. guys i own a lot of blades.#this is not stopping my wish to gather them up for a group picture. it's been so long i have forgotten most of what i own. help
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#wait i knew there were talks abt moving the science center and probs abt closing but i didnt know when#last month is crazy tho😭 i didnt even get to take my cousins there yet!!#and now if it reopens dt it wont be nostalgic bc itll be a new place and setup :(#also dt is a bad fucking spot imo nobody would be able to fucking get to it by car and i dont veen think its a good tourist spot#like its not at all. thats literally a fun science place for kids imo. i went again as an adult i think id know#also the location it was at allowed for a little nature walk which is like. partially the point of that place. nature. among other things.#anyway it was pretty and cool and last time i went a big school of kids were there so i know for a fact kids were having fun#with it waaay after i outgrew it so.this is just sad :c#also my cousins wouldve liked it a lot imo bc ones just. really curious and touches everything. which the.place lets kids do.#omg she's love the kids play area sm and i havent gone back bc i am. not accompanied by a kid. but i couldve seen it again w her sobbss#and the other one is grown but like#science nerd. sort of. he likes space which they.also have#but theyre both v silly and i know itwouldve been a lot of fun aAAAAA why did i hold off so long 😭#actually i only searched it bc ripleys aquarium has a dragons/myth exhibit and like. girl what r u on abt rn#anyway ummmm aquarium kinda expensive and im not paying for 3 but alone is boring and tbh its p expensive even alone😭#like ive been there and its lovely but ummm no thank you 😗#44597
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Huh. My dad is turnign 50. What am I supposed to do? A rich relative had a huge party few years ago when he turned 50, but I don't have the money to throw a big party. Is going out to eat enough? Dad said he doesn't want to really celebrate and he already went to a trip abroad with my sister. What if I kinda don't like my dad? Really hard to even bake or cook something for him since our preferences are so different.
#background noise#talked with a friend about our families a couple of days ago and he said that my dad kinda sucks and ive been thinking about it#yeah i guess so. i kinda feel relieved to hear someone else say it#i haven't had it that bad. it couldve been a lot worse. still feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders to hear someone say it#i really wanted to stay at home til the end of the month. fuck everything if i have to now travel to my parents' place
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going to eat peter hyams alive just watched 2010
#i. you. you cant.#i expected it to be not as good as 2001 and it was so much worse than i thought it would be#like yeah. kubrick burned most of the og material bc he was kinky like that. and they did a rly good job recreating it#and adding new things#but in terms of dialogue. cinematography. soundtrack???#genuinely. how did you fuck it up THAT bad.#i went in with a low bar and they dug to the center of the earth with it#at least we got reqium and thus spoke zarathustra. dunno what i wouldve done without them#you could have TRIED to make more than like. a singular symbolic shot#kubrick was an abusive dickhead but by god. he made a good fucking movie#he burned things in fear that anyone making sequels would fuck it up. and then he let you make a sequel. and you fucked it up.#like it didn't have to be great! for hyams to have had 4+ major roles in the creating of it he was prbly already taking on a lot of stress#but jesus fucking christ the dialogue and the shots sounds and looks like EVERY OTHER FUCKING ACTION MOVIE#YOU CANT MAKE A SEQUEL IF YOU ARENT GOING TO AT LEAST TRY TO FUCKING IMITATE THE ORIGINAL#like you could have TRIED to imitate it and not done a great job and i would have been so much happier!! you couldve tried!!!!#for the love of god could you have at least given me a correct shot of hal!!!#ive read the wikis for the sequel novels looking forward to reading 2010#bc ik they got the plot right. but. that was pretty much the one thing they got right.#also shoutout to keir dullea for somehow looking the same 16 years later. how the helld you do that#hold on rereading the wiki. wdym some of the characters were whitewashed. wdym max and curnow were bisexual and dated.#that. that better be true istg#ANYWAY.#i have to stop. otherwise i'll keep going.
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ah heem heem......
#literally my boss called me into her office and was like 'if you have anything to say tell me now'#'if we start the investigation and find anything we have to fire you'#and i was like 'you know me. you know that i have never taken anything and never paid for it.'#ive taken stuff and paid for it later that day or the next day#but NEVER?? no#i love this stupid job why would i steal from it#and in her defense she did say that there was no bad blood and we were okay#but like that means that if she sees something weird its like 'nothing personal youre fired'#i literally know she WONT fiind anything weird. thats the point. i didnt do anything#but it makes me feel suspicious and that me saying i didnt do anything is an admission of uilt#guilt#aand the more upset and nervous i get the less believable i seem#which makes me MORE UPSET AND NERVOUS#and i told a coworker about it and they really were acting like i did it#like BITCH IVE KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS YOU THINK I DID IT???#have i stolen before?? did i used to steal all the time and just dont remember???#what if i took something once and was like 'yeah i'll pay for it later tonight' and forgot and now its gonna cost me my job#because heres the thing#that VERY WELL couldve happened#my adhd is a fucking bad i very well couldve done that#she picked the perfect time to accuse me of this to retaliate too#last month we lost a lot of money at our snack market#which indicates a lot of theft#and i live here so it'd be easy for me to do#that doesnt mean i did it tho#god this is so upsetting#and this is gonna be a no news is good news situation bc i dont imagine they'll call me in and be like#'we went over months of footage and you have been found NOT guilty! :D'#like no if they dont find anything they'll just never bring it up again#but like that means im gonna be waiting for the other shoe to drop for the rest of the time im working here
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maybe a weird thing to say but if the show lucifer wasnt made by christians it wouldve been one of the best things ever
stories about christianity by christians vs by non christians are so very different
like. comparing lucifer and good omens. im just saying
#I LOVE BOTH SO MUCH I LOVE LUCIFER!!!!!!!!#but they fucked up so bad and im still not over it ajfjsjd#my post#god HAD to be secretly good. lucifer and chloe and their daughter HAD to be punished. the story HAD to be in an unbreakable loop#maze always HAD to be bad because shes a demon#you can claim the ending wasnt punishing lucifer and chloe and rory but it was!!!!! it was though!!!!#im not getting into it but basically#if they werent held back by things like 'god HAS to be good' and stuff like that. it couldve been great#people have all sorts of opinions about the show. but i think it went downhill when we finally saw god and he was like#'oh im sorry lucifer i totally wasnt aware i made you miserable :[' SHUT UP? bruh#wish i had the ability to fix the things i like that need fixing. pleas#i also dont even dislike maze being kinda an ass a lot cause often its for reasons that i understand#cause its mostly that everyone else treats her like an afterthought and a last choice and like. fuck dude same :[#she goes a bit far about it but things arent the same for her because shes literally a demon so#i could talk about it forever i love lucifer sigh
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this killed my artblock okay
well.
the hyperfixation created something something au, so....yeah.
AU where the whole Book of Bill and the backstory doesn't change at all, but instead of just putting bill into space therapy, the AXOLOTL also creates...uh.
This guy.
Not a twin, not a second chance, not a reincarnation.
This Bill, or "Nick" (chosen by Mabel because he's got a nicked side from le punch) is more of a "what couldve been" alternate created for the purpose of being a test or an example for the real bill. Everything Bill was SUPPOSED to develop personality wise before the collapse of his dimension...but with his memories sill intact from that moment. It's not a restart and memory loss thing, but more of a coping and learning to heal, starring the Pines family losing their minds over what seems like o be a lookalike of the evil dorito man.
Again....his only purpose was to show the real Bill what could have been, if his coping methods weren't as....unhinged and destructive. So he wasn't intentionally supposed to be a long-term friend or anything to the town of Gravity Falls.
....but things change.
Things change.
some more info stuff under the cut about this au :D
Nick is nervous, anxious, uses humor to cope, and a bit mischevious (bit of the og Bill there), but takes out his trauma/guilt on art and creating instead of destructive tendencies. He frequently likes to throw up murals and run off.
He has multiple self-care issues. Just in general because of his memories and because of his fractured physical state.
He had to do a LOT of work to gain the Pine's trust. Obviously. but he would definitely get along with Mable and, though it would take a lot more time, Dipper. Because....Dipper. The Book of Bill really showcased how pissed Dipper was with Bill's actions.
The Pines don't like to call him Bill because...bad association with that name. Hence the name Nick, because they kinda think its not REALLY bill. just a less fucked up version
His powers are limited and fractured due to being an altered form. He can't levitate, warp reality, or be considered immortal. however, he still IS Bill Cipher....so all that may be buried in there somewhere.
Bro has a LOT of stuff to work through and unpack.
#do you see the vision#not a redemption au or a memory loss au but like a personality alterating au? does that make sense? idk#the book of bill#book of bill#bill cypher#standford pines#book of bill spoilers#tbob fanart#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#the book of bill spoilers#this is not a website dot com#tbob spoilers#tbob#bill ci the triangle guy#bill cipher#stanford#gravity falls#gf bill cipher#mabel pines#gravity falls mabel#dipper and mabel#gf mabel#dipper#bill#gravity falls dipper#gf dipper#dipper pines#pines family#gf art#gravity falls au
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how my heart aches a little
#when i think of you#i think you actually broke it#without actually meaning to? but i mean even if you didn't want to#it's still you know. broken and it still. you know. hurts. it. it hurts a lot. oh my god it hurts so bad#please#i don't want to become a memory#please. please#(please love me)#i'm in love with you#and it couldve been enough if you'd wanted me too#fuck. this. shit
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