#it turned out ugly as fuck!

[sciderman]

well - webtoons is over, gang

[amtrak12]

Lucifer Rewatch Liveblog: 1.05

I took my dog for a walk AND I ran OUTSIDE (which is much harder than on a treadmill) so I’m super tired and don’t know how coherent I’ll be. But I need a hyperfixation fix so let’s liveblog S1 ep 5 of Lucifer!

I have no fucking idea what episode this will be. Not the one where Maze meets Trixie because I know which ep that is. But could it be the ep where Dan meets Maze? :O

Let’s find out.

Oh I missed my blorbos over the past week. And I have a five day weekend thanks to holiday (today) and vacation (Monday and Tuesday) so lots of time for full Lucifer eps!

>>>   ... Okay I have a vague memory of a designer shoe episode.

>>>   "No sharp objects until we find out why." -- ROTFL Maze going full parent bodyguard mode there :P

>>>   Really it's so boring that "reflection of your desires" always means sex. And always Hollywood thin women sleeping/wanting to sleep with Lucifer. You are a show about the devil. BE GAYER! (And not just gayer sex. I mean gayer everything! Give me more diverse desires!!)

>>>  *snort* Dan always knows Lucifer's around before Chloe does.

>>>   Dan: You need to stop hanging out with Lucifer. Chloe: Already did. Dan: *points at Lucifer behind her* Nope.

>>>   Makes me giggle everytime lol

>>>   Still so foreign to me for them to have a lieutenant/boss. In later seasons, you'd think Chloe and Dan (and Ella) just ran the department by themselves

>>>   "I'll never get elected without support from the minority communities." -- Fairly certain that's never been obstacle before in becoming chief of police but okay.

>>>   "My job's gonna totally get me killed." -- No, siding with Lucifer during an angel war to be the next God will, though. Sorry.

>>>   Okay but I do adore that Chloe does in fact always drive. For the rest of the series. You know who didn't do that? Warehouse 13. And SUSPICIOUSLY Myka stopped driving when the show went from canon to those OOC and terrible videos written by fan wannabes. (And yes, I’m including S4 in there.)

>>>   LMFAO!!! THAT'S WHY SHE SLAPPED HIM??? I've seen it in fanvids and had no memory of its canon occurrence.

>>>   "So you want to feel new things?" *slap* - fucking hilarious. I'm dying.

>>>   Okay I'm pretty sure the pig dies. :( RIP Pig Diddy.

>>>   The only memory I have of a cop bar isin fanfic. But it was S1/early S2 era fanfic, so this is probably where the author pulled that from.

>>>   Anthony Paolucci? No, no, no. That's Jack from Prue's old auction firm. #Charmed

>>>   Is this the first time they said Malcolm Graham's name in the show? Does this mean we’re out of the character introduction stage and into the season plot stage? Always a good transition for a show.

>>>   (Like both stages are super important. I’m not knocking the character introductions. It’s also just really fun to watch the show leave the intros and start walking on its own two feet.)

>>>   "On behalf of myself and only myself, I think you're a sack of ass." *punch* -- He’s actually speaking for me too here. *shouts* Punch him harder, Lucifer!

>>>   Oh Maze sends Amenadiel over to Linda? Well, then she really only has herself to blame for them sleeping together in S3, doesn't she? lol :P

>>>   "I know Krav Maga!" -- LOL Okay Linda. I'm sure a bad guy would be real scared by you shouting that.

>>>   "I have a key." ... "Yeah, let me start over." -- Yeah maybe you should there, Amenadiel LOL God I love his early days of pretending to be human. He's so bad at it!

>>>   “Jealous of a mortal woman?" -- Maze, honey, you're jealous of a lot of people, so yeah probably.

>>>   Ugh, I was so close about this being the episode where Dan meets Maze. They bumped shoulders but alas, no more.

>>>   "Chloe is the mother of my child" -- I mean, she's also just Chloe who deserves not to get hurt/killed on her own merit but whatever. I'll blame the writers for that one.

>>>   "Quite condescending if you ask me." -- Yeah, me too, Lucifer.

>>>   "Act like a child, get treated like a child." / "Isn't it illegal to leave your child locked in a car?" -- ROTFL that was fantastic, both Chloe locking him in the car and Lucifer’s immediate follow up retort. Absolutely no hesitation from him. Love it.

>>>   Is that a granny square door curtain? What weight yarn did they use? Surely it had to be weight 3 or lighter, right? Weight 4 would be too heavy to hang in a doorway. It would stretch too much.

>>>   Yellow Viper -- Hold on the ending of this episode is coming back to me now.  Isn't he helping kids get out of the gang now? Or was there a double twist with him? It was something like that.

>>>   Yep. RIP Pig Diddy. :/

>>>   "They really don't make bad guys like they used to." -- He means that literally, Chloe. He’s had every bad guy (and every person who simply felt guilty for something) in Hell with him since the beginning of time.

>>>   "A fluid exchange." -- LMFAO Amenadiel, you really have no idea what words are coming out of your mouth, do you? ROTFL

>>>   "If there's one thing the Devil knows it's that people need to take responsibility for their own bad behavior." -- Yet another blatant statement of what the end game is.

>>>   "Yes, people do need to take responsibility for their own bad behavior." -- And that's the journey we take to get to the end game, and Lucifer not grasping Chloe’s implications there is why that’s the series journey.

>>>   OMG there was a parallel 'Chloe shoves Lucifer down and lies on top of him' scene to the S1 finale’s 'Chloe shoves Maze down and lies on top of her' scene?? I had no memory of that, but of course that was a parallel. Everything in this show is a parallel.

>>>   "Your bartender's a ninja? Of course, she is." / "Yeah." (casual and smiling)

>>>   "Ass saved. You're welcome -- his ass. Not yours." -- Just give it a few more months to a year, Maze. You'll be blowing up cars on Chloe's behalf.

>>>   GOD, they really do have some juicy Chloe/Lucifer conversations in S1, don't they? 'Addicted to creating chaos and seeing where the chips lay' -- which Lucifer obviously didn't like but he could laugh it off and then Chloe came for the jugular: "It's like you have a god complex." OOPH! That one hit Lucifer hard. That was both meaty and juicy. Delicious.

>>>   "I saw your Marine tattoo." and thus knew exactly what it meant. AND YET, neither you nor Lucifer noticed the scar being badly hidden by Pierce's Marine tattoo and so didn’t realize he was CAIN????

>>>   (admittedly, Chloe had no possible way of knowing that in S3, but I'm still blaming her and everyone else for Cain.)

>>>   I abhor Cain

>>>   THREE! Chloe has played Lucifer THREE separate times now and he still hasn't learned ROTFL. Like ‘oh yeah, I’m totally interested in having sex with you -- SIKE! and it gets him everytime!!! #dumdum

>>>   Also, good for her for leaving him there! lol

>>>   Maze is now stalking Chloe. Debates killing her. Imagines about 13 different ways she could do it without making a sound (and another dozen that are messier and rougher that would let Maze vent some of her anger) -- and then leaves without harming a hair on Chloe's head. God, I love Maze.

>>>   Also cool that that's the first time we get to see her demon face. I like her demon face a lot.

Good shit! Good shit! Good shit! S1 is way better than my first impression of it was. Like, it's still ranked fifth when ordering the six seasons by favorite. But it's fifth favorite now instead of second least liked!

Be prepared for more liveblogs over the next few days since I'm on a long weekend! Catch you next time!

[queenlypirate]

two households, both alike in dignity...

just a little scene redraw:

[bobateaqwq]

dabihawks ship template thing bc I got boredd last night .. explaining more under the cut!!!

CW FOR LIGHT SEX TALK!!!!!!!

Big spoon and little spoon: I thinkkk it would be uncomfortable to be held from behind for hawks bc of his wings n stuff, even if he sheds all his feathers. so he tends to like being the big spoon!!! at first dabi would be against being the little spoon bc he thinks it makes him vulnerable and weak or wtv to be held but he does like being held by hawks. he just wants to be held and cared foorrr once he opens up more and their situationship develops more dabi is more open to being the little spoon.

Lends clothes, borrows clothes: hawks doesn't really have his own clothesss I think the commission definitely controls everything all the way down to what he wears. The most he has is sleep clothes, but he usually only ever wears his hero uniform. either way all of his clothes have holes in the back of them, so dabi isnt particularly fond of wearing his shirts LOL. maybe he'll steal a pants or two but other than that yeah dabi don't wear his clothes. I don't think hawks would wear dabis clothes either bc dabis clothes probably stink and they're all ripped HELPP ok so maybe they don't lend each other clothes help…

Pet names vs no pet names: hawks calls dabi dabs... hot stuff, firefly...... dabs... or whatever annoying nickname he can come up with. I think he also just likes calling dabi annoyingly sweet pet names like sweetheart bc it pisses dabi tf off and hawks thinks it's the funniest thing in the world. dabi almost never calls hawks hawks he only ever calls him birdie or birdbrain or heroo or literally anything condescending. hawks never takes it as that way tho no matter how much tries to mean it in a mean way hawks thinks it's just silly and sweet.

introvert and extrovert: this one's obviouuus for dabi at least he hates people... hates EVERYONE!!!! he'd rather stay in solitude and plot his revenge against his father or smmmthh hawks on the other hand was basically trained to deal with the public and overall be a social butterfly. so naturally yeah, hawks is around people and it's not that he doesn't mind being around people. but when his social battery dies out I think he definitely getss ehhh like usually he's good at keeping his silly chill attitude but I think at some point it does get too much and he much rather be alone. when it comes to dabi i think dabi is much more annoying and open and chatty w hawks which ultimately breaks through his sort of bad boy persona and feels more touya. while hawks eventually doesn't bother keeping his public persona up with dabi and just fills the silence hawks provides. it's nice i think they bring out touya and keigo out of each other

affectionate through words or actions: I think they both crave physical touch. growing up hawks was never rlllyyy cared for in the way he needed as a child, same w dabi i think they both just need a hug. I dooo think that they both definitely need words of affirmation from each other, with dabi growing up not feeling good enough or wtv and hawks growing up into believing he wasnt even his own person. but they both suck at it and they struggle to express how they feel for each other so I think they much rather show their care towards actions. for example hawks showing up to his and dabi's meets with extra take out to share with dabi and let him stay over, or dabi would help hawks preen his wings and hawks will sometimes wake up to breakfast or WHATEVER IDK but yeah. i think doing stuff for the other person makes them feel less vulnerable.

confessing first, or waits for confession: they don't confess. end of story. LOL. in boba yaoi world dabi doesn't die yaayyy and he's put through this whole rehabilitation process yada yada but eventually they confront each other after not seeing each other ever since dabi burned hawks' wings. whenn it comes to confrontation dabi is very good at pointing out hawks' bs and such but he struggles with opening about his own...feelings n stuff I guess while hawks has a hard time with confrontation in general. i think hes constantly deflecting dabi's jabs n stuff or wtv but errmm IDK. hawks never knows what to say during confrontations since he needs time to really... think about it and carefully calculate his words. normally he's good when it comes to making up stufff or reacting quickly I guess but when it comes to his ACTUAL feelings. to KEIGOS feelings and not hawks' then he's like.... he blanks... he doesn't know how to think for himself whooopppsss

screams about bugs, squashes with shoe: ok the more i think about it the more i think dabi would just squash the bug w no mercyyy and hawks would be more reluctant... i think neither of them are scared of bugs since dabi literally grew up in filth for most of his life and hawks just... isnt scared of them... dabis had to deal with insects all the time when he was homeless so he's just like... Done w them. IDK it's silly it's goofy theyre stupid

drives car. can't drive: dabi can't drive. period. he doesn't know how, if he were to, he'd fucking crash the car into anything in his way. shitty driver, never learned, never got his license, nothin!!! hawks on the other hand doooess knowww how to drivveeee but he doesn't like to. he flies everywhere, doesn't like driving bc he can't fit his wings in them and when he hates shedding his feathers just to fit in it bc it makes him feel all too VULNERABLE. and UNGUARDED!!!! so yeah he doesnt like to drive but he can. i think hes a crazy driver tho like with being the second fastest hero in japan hes like used to going super fast so he like drives so fucking fast bro ... other speed limit... takes sharp turns, stops abruptly, and overall he's freaking crazy. I think dabi also gets motion sickness so he hates riding with hawks HAHA hawks likes to carry him and fly anyway.... dabi hates it ....

can't cook for shit, makes dinner!: hawks dont know how to cook. his fridge is filled with expired foods. he only ever eats what the commission gives him bc they control his diet, and he's not really a picky eater. he also just never has time to cook sooooo yeah he doesn't have a lot of home cooked meals. but then dabi comes in and he's had to learn how to  do things for himself almost all his life so he definitely knows how to cook at least a lil. he clears out hawks fridge after he basically hangs out in his apartment and sometimes he decides to cook breakfast after hawks let's him sleep over ....... he likes to cook for hawks... secretly tho. if hawks ever brings it up he won't cook for him again for like a few weeks.

pda yes or no: hawks likes to show dabi off. in boba yaoi world where dabi doesnt die and instead goes through rehabilitation process and him and hawks start over as keigo and touya yada yada yada hawks LOVES to show dabi off... he'll be like yes!!! that's my boyfriend!!!!! giving him kisses n everything... dabi hates it. ok he doesn't hate it he does enjoy the attention and does enjoy being shown off but hes just sooo not used to experiencing like .... attention. not used to being pecked on the cheek outta no where, not used to being touched really. i think it's the same for hawks hes not used to physical contact but he deals w it differently in a way where he tries to do it MORE u know. but pre-war during their situationship era umm i think dabi still doesn't like it, and tells hawks to stop doing it until post-war. but even then situationship era they werent very pda anyway, so ya.

overprotective vs chill goin: i think they're both a bit possessive over each other. they both grew up without nothing, dabi more physically and hawks more emotionally. dabi grew up (orrr u know after his coma or wtvvv) living on the streets, used to not having anything nice ever in his life. even before, after enji deemed him unworthy touya got nothin. hawks grew up without having anything that was ever HIS. everything he's ever done or taught or grown up to do was all the commission. all his decisions were under the commission's influence. but hawks and dabi were each other's first thing to want for themselves, to HAVE for themselves. hawks also just instinctively becomes more possessive over dabi, w all his weird ass mate callings n stuff. and i think dabi just yearns for attention and hawks or whatever idk hawks was the first good thing that was ever in his reach, so dabi latched onto it very very quickly.

relationship experience or no relationship experience: they have. absolutely. zero. maybe dabi's had a fewwww hookups every now and then, but very very scarce since no one wants to be sleeping w a villainn!! and also bc he doesn't find use in finding someone since he's sooo dead set on plotting revenge against his father. the reason why hawks is different in this case bc he never meant to involve himself in something romantic w hawks, it just... happened. with hawks ermm i think the commission wouldn't allow him to date at alllll they wanna keep his personal life a minimummm they don't treat him like his own person. i think hes slept w ppl before but only bc it benefited the commission or smth IDK SMTH MESSED UP LIKE THAT yeah idk they dont know how to be good to each other relationship was nor how to properly navigate it. post-war they try though. they try for each other. SIGHHH I HATE THEMMM

horny level: idk. the reason why they start talking more is bc they hook up while exchanging info LOLL there's so much sexual tension between them it's CRAZY. I thinkkk sex is like a super important to their dynamic funny enough bc they begin to trust each other a lot more through it I guess. they need to blow off steam and theyre both weirdly attractive to each other. they match each other's freak!! yes!!! they are switches and i stanndd byyy thisss I dont think they have dom sub undertones i HATE when ppl make hawks a twinky sub stop it leave him alone. dabi's a pillow princess. putting this out there. LOL OK BUT SRSLY I think bottoming for dabi is just smth soooo vulnerable for him that when he eventually lets hawks do it it makes him trust him so much more bc hawks is SO so gentle w him like... idk how to explain it. it just makes sense in my head.

awkwardness level: dabi is one awkward freaking motherfucker. bro grew up alone in filth w the only thing driving him was his hatred for his father. past all the assholey and psycho behavior, he's just sooo freaking awkward. he's a loser. a lameo. he don't know how to speak!!!!! he also just hates people so yay. hawkss on the other hand was raised to know how to deal w the public. raised to interact easily w other pro heros and civilians, raised to be overall super chill and know how to talk to interviewers. hawks is good at talking to people, he knows what to say and when to say it to sweet talk his way into things. so for the most part hawks is never really awkward. keigo, on the other hand is def a tad bit more awkward. of course he's definitely still good at talking n all that bc u can't erase over two decades of training and practicing properly talking to people, but keigo is juusttt he's a lil less hawks. hes more unfiltered, not aiming to please everyone anymore. he lets himself feel other emotions, just lets himself relax n not be on guard all the time.

jealous level: with hawks bird half n all that comes lots of possessive traits... all his weird MATE instincts UGHHH. WEIRDO!!!!!! but yeah I think it just makes him a wee more protective over dabi in the sense that "he's mine!!! my bf!!!!!! go away!!!!!!!" but other than that he's not rlly jealous at all. he's very chill. very yas. DABI ON THE OTHER HAANNNDDD ohhohoohoho ok. like i said b4 hawks is literally the only good thing he's ever gotten to call his. during situationship era he's so fucking jealous bro bc people arent even supposed to know about their secret situationship thing. hawks can walk around w people fawning over him bc they don't knowww of what goes on between him and dabi. dabi HATES it bc hawks is a very popular hero with a shit ton of fans and fangirls and fanboys and whatever and dabi thinks it's the most aggravating thing in the WORLD. but post-war when they make it official dabi shows him tf off. like very subtly tho. in public he'll snake an arm around hawks' waist when fans are around ... or he'll glare at fangirls who get too close n all that IDK he's very jealous bratty silly billy. hawks treats him like a princess.

OKAYYY THATS IT. I did not intend on saying this much LOLLL goes to show how freaking crazy dabihawks is making me and how yaoi is RUINING MY LIFE. okay thanks for reading if u actually read this farr I lovee dabihawkksss okay bye

[spellboundcrown]

are you truly accountable for your actions if you're merely a pawn?

[redrobin-detective]

I finally read the Screaming Staircase book and while it's been fun to compare and contrast it against the 3 episode Netflix arc, there is one book moment that is clearly superior.

At the end of episode, when Skull speaks to Lucy for the first time. Lucy is so overcome by the psychic connection that she full on faints requiring George and Lockwood to carry her upstairs. I'd accepted that until I read the novel in which Lucy hears this gross this ghost man whisper weird shit from within his glass prison about life and death and whatever. And Luce - who'd just run downstairs to grab extra treats for their impromptu celebration - says "nah I'm not dealing with this today" closes the jars speaking valve and leaves.

I will always support Lucy Carlyle being That Crazy Bitch and I love her So Much.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[waitineedaname]

tbh it is incredible how compelling bingge and shen jiu are considering they're characters who ceased to exist as soon as the novel began

[wtftaylr]

babe wake up i have 37 gold bars and a long fucking story,

[qcoded]

Honeyed Words.

[nicomoon69]

every time I’m forced to see this image bc I have to describe what’s wrong w it to dumb ass ppl a small part of me dies

cw: ugly ass emo whitewashed genshin man

[mokeonn]

Hey quick question, why the fuck was everyone angry at sword and shield for being ugly, rushed pokemon games but was pretty much completely fine with Scarlett and Violet being worse?

[marciequerade]

based on a really stupid conversation with skate

[orcelito]

Super sexy me is so sexy I accidentally set off the fire alarm while baking pie shells for my pumpkin pie. And now I don't know if I should've even baked them in the first place. But well. Too late now 👍

[rpfisfine]

Im genuinely in shock it’s all happened so unbelievably fast every feline care website says that the chance of newborn kittens dying rapidly decreases after the first week so we thought we were pretty much in the clear once they managed to survive the first 7 days but then literally the moment we started to notice they weren’t gaining weight and something could potentially be going wrong three of them immediately died within almost a single day before we could even manage to act or do anything to save them my dad is taking the mom cat and the last kitten to the vet tomorrow to obtain at least like a retrospective diagnosis but for now we think it was all caused by inadequate milk due to the cat being a first time inexperienced mom which then causes low blood sugar for the kittens which then causes hypothermia & weakness & difficulty breathing & eventual death which lines up pretty much exactly with what happened to our kittens im so sad I still have so many photos of all four of them lying side by side sleeping & cuddling and I was so looking forward to all of them growing up and playing together I couldn’t even accept the thought of eventually giving them to new owners and now i have to cope with the thought of 3 of them dying within not even 2 days

[adustoflove]

I feel like such a waste of space. What am I doing? I'm ignoring all my worried friends. I'm pushing everyone away. I'm not doing anything worthwhile. I'm not helping anyone. I'm wishing I was dead when I could be doing anything more productive. I feel 14 again, sobbing on my stupid purple rug because I mean nothing to no one and my existence doesn't do much.