#but i think i finally nailed his design so THANK GOD

[qcoded]

Honeyed Words.

[bumpolantern]

Roadside Surprise

Pairing: Maxwell Lord (Wonder Woman 1984, 2020) x original female character (Poppy)

Summary: It's 1985, and Max Lord finds himself driving his very pregnant wife to the hospital.

Warnings: MDNI. 18+. Very graphic and sexual birth. This is a fic for a very specific kink space. If this is not your thing, please scroll away.

Word count:  7,371 words

Author's note: This story is commissioned by someone who wishes to stay anonymous. 🙏🏻 Thank you so much for trusting me with this story 💜 I’m actually trying to raise funds to get myself a new laptop, so any donation amount is very much appreciated, if you'd also be interested in commissioning a story, my commissions are currently OPEN. Check out my commission's page here.

Divider credit @strangergraphics ❤🙏🏻

The air inside the car felt stifling as Max’s foot pressed down on the accelerator, the tension between him and Poppy thick and overwhelming. It wasn’t just the anxiety of the impending birth—it was the way the city around them seemed to grind to a halt, as if the world had chosen this exact moment to throw them into a slow, unrelenting standstill.

Poppy, in the passenger seat of the luxury sedan was not in the mood to appreciate the car’s smooth ride or plush leather seats. Her designer maternity dress clung to her swollen belly, the deep emerald fabric stretching as her body tensed under another contraction. She panted, her hands gripping the armrest and the edge of the seat, her face flushed with frustration and pain.

“Max, faster,” she hissed through clenched teeth, her voice sharp, her eyes narrowing as she glanced at the dashboard. “We are not going to make it if you don’t get me off this damn road.”

“I’m trying, sweetheart,” Max muttered, his own panic barely contained. He swerved around a slow-moving car, but the street ahead was clogged, the lights turning red in frustrating succession. He could feel the sweat trickling down his back, soaking the collar of his shirt as his fingers tightened on the steering wheel.

“You’re trying?” Poppy’s tone was biting, her breath coming in shallow bursts. “Try harder, Max! You—oh God—these fucking contractions… it’s coming too fast!” Her hand shot to her belly, her nails digging into the fabric of her dress as another wave of pain hit her. “I’m not having this baby in your car!”

Max’s pulse quickened as he glanced at her, then back at the nearly motionless line of cars ahead. The sun was sinking low in the sky, casting long shadows across the road, the last traces of light glinting off the chrome of nearby vehicles. It was almost dusk, and the city’s usual hum was replaced by a strangely eerie quiet, broken only by the soft growl of engines and the occasional honk. But the traffic wasn’t moving.

“Just hang on, sweetheart…” he stammered, panic rising in his chest as he scanned the road for any way out. The hospital was still miles away, and her contractions were coming too close together now. “We need to get off this road.”

“Then do it!” she snapped, her breath ragged. “Goddammit, Max, I don’t need you to tell me what I already know. I need you to move!”

Max’s eyes darted to the side streets, his mind racing. An empty side road appeared just ahead, a narrow street that cut through the quieter, less populated part of the city. It wasn’t ideal, but it was their only option.

Without hesitation, he yanked the wheel, veering off the main road and onto the narrow lane. The Mercedes bumped slightly as it hit the uneven pavement, but the road was blissfully empty. Not a car in sight, just the long stretch of asphalt leading out toward the more isolated parts of town.

“Thank God,” Poppy groaned, her head falling back against the seat as she struggled to catch her breath between contractions. “Finally… some fucking space. Max—" she gasped, her voice trembling as she gripped her belly again, “I don’t think we have much time. It’s coming too fast.”

Max’s heart thudded in his chest, panic clawing at him as he glanced at her, then back at the road. “Just hold on, Poppy. We’re almost there. Just breathe—”

“Don’t you dare tell me to breathe,” she growled, her face twisted in pain. “You think I don’t know how to fucking breathe through contractions? It’s not helping, Max!”

Max winced but said nothing, his hands trembling as he gripped the wheel tighter. The sun had almost completely set now, the road ahead dimming into a dusky twilight. His mind was racing, desperate for a solution. He needed to do something—anything—to help her.

His gaze flickered to the rearview mirror, and for a fleeting moment, an old, familiar thought crossed his mind. The Dream Stone. If only he still had it, he could wish this all away—wish Poppy’s pain away, wish the baby out of her without all the agony and fear. He clenched his jaw, frustration bubbling up inside him. The stone was gone, destroyed. And all he could do now was be there for her, helpless.

Poppy’s voice broke through his thoughts. “Max… oh God, I think my water’s about to break.” Her voice trembled with panic and anger as she clutched her belly, her body tensing with another violent contraction. “Fuck, there’s so much pressure… I can feel it...”

Max’s pulse spiked as he glanced over at her, fear and adrenaline surging through him. “Just hold on, Poppy. I’m pulling over.”

He slammed on the brakes, swerving the car to a stop on the empty side of the road, gravel crunching beneath the tires. The car jerked slightly as it came to a halt, and Max quickly shifted into park, his breath coming in short, shallow bursts. He turned to Poppy, his hands shaking as he reached out to her.

“Okay, we’re off the road. What now?” he asked, his voice tight with panic.

Poppy groaned, her eyes squeezing shut as another contraction rolled through her. “What now?” she echoed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Now, you help me. Get your ass over here, Max.”

Max scrambled out of the driver’s seat, his heart racing as he rushed to her side. The road around them was eerily silent, the fading light casting long shadows across the deserted landscape. There wasn’t another car in sight, just the two of them, alone in the growing dusk.

Max rushed around to the passenger side, his fingers fumbling as he yanked the door open. The inside of the car felt even hotter now, the air thick with the mingling scents of sweat, tension, and Poppy’s laboring body. Her designer maternity dress, now damp with sweat, clung tightly to her skin, and her face twisted in agony as another contraction ripped through her.

She barely spared him a glance, too consumed by the intensity of her labor to acknowledge his frantic movements. “I told you… it’s coming too fast,” she growled through gritted teeth, her hands gripping the seat beneath her as her body rocked with the force of the next contraction.

Max knelt beside her, his heart pounding in his chest as he tried to think of anything he could do to help. He wasn’t a doctor, wasn’t trained for this, but there was no time to second-guess himself now. The baby wasn’t waiting for anyone, least of all him.

Poppy let out a sharp, guttural groan, her breath catching in her throat. Then, suddenly, she gasped, eyes widening. “Max… I think my water—oh God, it’s going to—”

Before she could finish, a sudden gush of fluid spilled out, soaking the seat beneath her. Poppy’s breath hitched, her body trembling in momentary relief as the pressure of the contractions eased, the tightness loosening just slightly.

But the relief was brief. Poppy’s expression shifted, her eyes squeezing shut as she tensed again. “Oh fuck… Max, I feel it… the baby—it’s moving down,” she gasped, her voice tight with both fear and exertion.

Max’s pulse quickened as he positioned himself beside her. The dim light from the open car door cast long shadows across her body, but he could see her belly tightening again as another contraction rolled through her.

He glanced down between her legs, the designer fabric of her dress hiked up around her hips. The bulging pressure was visible now, her swollen lips parting slightly, the baby pushing down just behind them, causing her to stretch. The sight was intense, primal—and, to Max, it was achingly erotic. His throat tightened as he watched, the mix of fear and desire overwhelming as he saw her body respond to the pressure.

Poppy’s hand shot to her belly, her fingers trembling as she gripped herself through the dress. “Oh fuck—Max, I can feel it right there,” she groaned, her voice cracking.

Max tore his gaze away from her body, his heart thudding in his chest as he moved to help her. He leaned over, his hands trembling slightly as he positioned her carefully. “Here, let me help you, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

With a firm but gentle grip, he guided her to shift, helping her turn toward the open door. Poppy groaned as she moved, her body trembling with the effort. Max lifted her leg carefully, placing one foot up on the dash while the other rested over his shoulder, opening her up wide in the cramped space of the car.

Poppy’s breath came in short gasps, her body trembling as the baby’s head pressed lower, causing her lips to bulge even more. The tension between them was palpable, her need overwhelming, and Max’s hands shook as he reached out to steady her.

Max’s breath caught in his throat as he watched her body respond to the pressure, his eyes drawn to the way her swollen lips parted, bulging with the baby pushing down behind them. He shouldn’t be thinking about it like this—shouldn’t be turned on by the sight of his wife laboring—but he couldn’t help it. The rawness of it, the way her body moved, stretched, and trembled under the strain—it was driving him wild.

His hands shook as he palmed himself through his pants, his cock already straining painfully against the fabric. The urge to touch himself was overwhelming, but he fought to stay focused on Poppy, on helping her through this. Yet his hand betrayed him, pressing harder against his erection, trying to alleviate the pressure building inside him.

Poppy’s eyes flew open, her gaze locking onto him, and despite the agony coursing through her body, a slow, knowing smile curved her lips. “Max,” she groaned, her voice low and throaty, a mix of pain and desire. “Are you… are you seriously getting off on this?”

Max’s heart stuttered, his face flushing as he glanced away, ashamed of how turned on he was. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, his hand still pressed against his pants, unable to pull away. “I can’t help it—you’re just… fuck, Poppy, you’re so beautiful.”

Poppy’s smile widened, her breath hitching as another contraction rolled through her, but the heat in her eyes remained. “Don’t be sorry,” she purred, her voice thick with lust, even as her body trembled with the effort of pushing. “You like seeing me like this, don’t you? So spread open, so fucking raw…”

Max groaned, his hand pressing harder against his cock as he watched her, mesmerized by the sight of her body stretched wide, her swollen lips bulging as the baby moved lower. “Yes,” he breathed, his voice barely more than a whisper. “Fuck, Poppy… you have no idea what you’re doing to me.”

Poppy’s laugh was dark, almost a growl as her head fell back against the seat, her leg trembling on his shoulder. “Oh, I know exactly what I’m doing to you,” she gasped, her hips rocking slightly as she bore down again, her body stretching even more around the baby’s head. “Look at you… getting hard while your wife is pushing out your fucking kid.”

Max whimpered, his cock throbbing painfully in his pants as her words sent another wave of heat through him. He couldn’t help it—couldn’t stop himself from palming his erection, even as he watched her body strain and tremble under the force of her labor.

“Don’t stop,” Poppy moaned, her voice thick with lust as she reached down between her legs, her fingers brushing over her swollen clit. “Touch yourself, Max. I want to see you lose it while I push this baby out.”

Max’s breath hitched, his hand trembling as he unzipped his pants, freeing his aching cock. He groaned softly as his hand wrapped around himself, his eyes locked on Poppy’s body as she moaned and writhed, her lips bulging even more with the baby’s head pressing down behind them.

“You like this, don’t you?” Poppy whispered, her voice shaking as she rubbed her clit in slow, firm circles. “You like watching me struggle… watching me push… fuck, Max, it’s so close… I can feel it.”

Max’s heart pounded, his hand moving faster on his cock as he watched her, completely lost in the sight of her body stretched wide, trembling with the effort of bringing their child into the world. “I’m going to cum, Poppy,” he gasped, his voice ragged with need. “Fuck… I can’t hold it.”

“Good,” Poppy moaned, her hips jerking as she rubbed herself harder. “Cum for me, Max. Cum while I push your baby out.”

Max let out a broken groan, his entire body trembling as he stroked himself faster, his eyes locked on Poppy’s swollen, bulging lips as the baby moved closer to crowning. The raw intensity of it, the primal connection between them—it was too much.

With a final, guttural moan, Max’s body shuddered as he came hard, his cock pulsing in his hand as his release tore through him. His breath came in short, sharp gasps as he watched Poppy, still trembling, still writhing as she bore down again, the baby’s head pressing lower.

Max’s breath hitched as his release overwhelmed him, his hand trembling as he stroked himself through the last waves of pleasure. His gaze remained fixed on Poppy’s bulging, swollen pussy, the baby pushing closer to crowning as her lips stretched wide. As he came, thick ropes of his cum shot from his throbbing cock, coating her already soaked pussy, slicking over the bulging lips with an obscene wetness that only heightened the intensity of the moment.

“Fuck, Max,” Poppy gasped, her voice low and throaty as she felt the hot, thick fluid splatter against her skin. Her hips jerked slightly, the sensation sending shivers through her overstretched body. “Look at you… making a mess while I’m trying to push this baby out.”

Max’s heart pounded, his eyes wide as he watched his cum drip down her pussy, mingling with her birth fluids as her body trembled with another contraction. The sight was primal, raw, and so incredibly erotic that he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Poppy let out a sharp gasp, her hand flying to her clit as another contraction rocked through her, but her movements were shaky, her body too exhausted to keep up the rhythm. “Max,” she growled, her voice thick with both pain and desire. “Help me. I need you to rub my clit. Now.”

Max blinked, his mind snapping back to the present as he quickly leaned in, his hands still trembling from the intensity of his own release. “Yes, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice low as he shifted closer, his fingers slipping between her slick, cum-coated lips. He pressed down on her swollen clit, rubbing in firm, quick circles, just the way she liked it.

Poppy let out a guttural moan, her head falling back as she arched her back, her body trembling beneath his touch. “Yes, Max… like that… don’t stop.”

Max’s other hand slid up to her breast, squeezing her leaking nipple through the soaked fabric of her dress. The milk squirted out in response, soaking his fingers as he pressed his thumb over her nipple, massaging the engorged flesh with care.

Poppy’s breath hitched again, her body writhing as the sensations overwhelmed her. “Suck them, Max,” she gasped, her hips jerking against his hand. “Suck my tits while I push.”

Max groaned, the primal command sending another wave of heat through him. He shifted, carefully positioning himself so he could lean in between her legs. His fingers kept their relentless rhythm on her clit, but he slotted his body closer, his mouth latching onto her leaking breast. He sucked hungrily, the warm milk squirting against his tongue as he moaned into her skin.

Poppy’s entire body trembled violently, her hips jerking as she bore down again, her swollen pussy bulging even more with the pressure of the baby pushing down. The sensation of Max’s mouth on her breast, his fingers rubbing her clit, combined with the intense pressure inside her was almost too much to bear.

“Fuck, Max!” she screamed, her voice ragged as she pushed harder, her body convulsing with the effort. “I’m gonna come… oh God, I’m gonna come while I push this baby out…”

Max groaned, his mouth still latched onto her breast as he sucked greedily, his fingers moving faster against her clit. He could feel her body trembling beneath him, the way her pussy stretched and bulged, the slick wetness of his cum and her birth fluids coating his hand as she pushed.

Poppy let out a guttural moan, her hips bucking wildly as she reached the edge. “Don’t stop, Max… I’m so fucking close… keep rubbing… harder…”

Max’s heart pounded in his chest as he pressed his fingers harder against her clit, his other hand squeezing her breast as he sucked harder. His entire body ached with need, his arousal rekindling as he watched her writhe and moan, her body caught between the brutal intensity of labor and the raw pleasure of his touch.

Poppy’s entire body tensed, her back arching as she let out a scream, her orgasm crashing over her in powerful waves. Her pussy clenched hard around the baby’s head, the bulging lips trembling as the pressure inside her built to an unbearable level.

At that moment, a gush of birth fluids squirted from her, soaking Max’s hand as the baby’s head moved even lower, pressing against her overstretched lips. The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pain, pleasure, and the unstoppable force of life pushing through her.

Max groaned against her breast, his cock hardening again as he felt the rush of fluids and the way her body trembled beneath him. “Fuck, Poppy… you’re incredible,” he gasped, his voice thick with awe and desire as he pressed his fingers even harder against her clit. “You’re going to push our baby out… and cum at the same time.”

Poppy’s breath came in short, ragged bursts, her body shaking violently as she bore down once more, her orgasm still rippling through her as the baby’s head pressed even lower. “I’m doing it, Max… fuck, I’m doing it…”

Max sucked harder on her breast, his fingers relentless on her clit as he felt her body respond, pushing the baby closer and closer with each wave of pleasure. The sight of her, so raw and powerful, pushing their child into the world while her body convulsed with pleasure—it was the most erotic thing he had ever experienced.

Poppy’s body trembled violently, her back arching off the seat as another brutal contraction tore through her. Max could feel her pussy tightening even more around the baby’s head, the pressure building to an almost unbearable degree. His fingers pressed harder against her clit, moving in tight, desperate circles as he sucked greedily at her leaking breast, the taste of her milk flooding his mouth.

“Max… Max, it’s coming… I can feel it,” Poppy gasped, her voice breaking as her hips bucked against his hand. Her entire body shook with the effort, her legs trembling as she pushed with everything she had.

Max groaned, the raw intensity of the moment sending shivers down his spine. “You’re almost there, Poppy,” he murmured against her skin, his voice thick with desire and awe. “Just a little more, sweetheart. You’re incredible… so fucking strong…”

Poppy let out a guttural moan, her breath coming in short, ragged bursts as she bore down again. “Fuck… fuck, I can feel it… oh God, Max, it’s so close…”

And then it happened.

With a sudden, violent gush, the baby’s head shot out, fluids squirting over Max’s hands, soaking both of them in a warm rush. Poppy’s belly shrank slightly as the pressure eased, but the sensation of the huge baby’s head stretching her open was undeniable. The sheer size of it made her groan, her body trembling as more fluid gushed out, pooling beneath her on the leather seat.

“Oh God, Max,” she whimpered, her voice shaking with a mix of pain and lingering arousal. “It’s so big… it’s so fucking big…”

Max’s heart pounded as he looked down, his hands trembling as he cradled the baby’s head. The sight of her swollen pussy stretched wide around the enormous head, the fluids dripping down her thighs, had his cock throbbing painfully again. “You’re doing it, Poppy,” he whispered, his voice thick with awe. “The head’s out… fuck, you’re amazing.”

Poppy’s breath hitched, her body still trembling with the aftershocks of her orgasm. Her hips bucked slightly, her swollen lips stretched wide around the baby’s head, and she let out a sharp cry as the pressure inside her shifted again.

“I need… I need to push more,” she groaned, her voice low and ragged. “Oh God, Max, I can feel the shoulders… they’re huge…”

Max whimpered, his eyes glued to the sight of her body as it strained to push their child into the world. His fingers still pressed against her clit, rubbing in slow, firm circles, but the wet, slick sound of fluids squelching around the baby’s head only heightened the intensity of the moment.

“Push, Poppy,” he murmured, his voice shaking as he pressed a kiss to her leaking breast. “You’ve got this… just a little more, sweetheart.”

Poppy let out a deep, guttural groan, her body arching again as she bore down, her hips bucking against his hand. The sheer size of the baby’s shoulders stretching her was overwhelming, her lips bulging even more as she pushed harder.

“Oh fuck… Max… it’s so big… I can feel it stretching me,” she gasped, her voice trembling as she whimpered through the pressure.

Max groaned in response, his cock still exposed, throbbing heavily as he watched her body stretch wide, the fluids gushing around the baby’s shoulders as Poppy’s belly shrank more. His hand absentmindedly stroked himself, slick with the birth fluids that coated them both. “You’re so fucking incredible,” he whispered, his voice thick with desire. “I can see it… you’re almost there, Poppy. Just keep pushing.”

Poppy’s hands shot up to grip the sides of the seat, her knuckles white as she bore down with everything she had. Her breath came in sharp, uneven gasps, her face twisted in a mix of pain and pleasure as she pushed harder.

“Fuck… fuck, Max… it’s coming,” she whimpered, her voice barely more than a breathless moan. “I can feel it… oh God, it’s so big…”

Max groaned, his eyes locked on the sight of her swollen, bulging lips as the baby’s shoulders pushed through, her body trembling violently with each effort. The fluids continued to squirt and gush, soaking his hands as he cradled the baby’s head, the wet sound of her pushing filling the small space of the car.

“You’re almost there, sweetheart,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with both awe and arousal. “Just a little more… push for me, Poppy.”

Poppy let out a deep, guttural moan, her entire body shaking as she bore down again, her hips jerking violently as the baby’s massive shoulders began to slide free. “Max… oh God… I’m gonna—fuck, I’m gonna cum again…”

Max whimpered, his own body trembling with need as he pressed his fingers harder against her clit, rubbing in tight, desperate circles. “Cum for me, Poppy,” he murmured, his voice barely more than a breathless moan. “Cum while you push out our baby.”

Poppy’s entire body tensed, her back arching as another orgasm ripped through her. Her hips bucked violently, her pussy clenching hard around the baby’s shoulders as she let out a guttural scream, her body convulsing with the force of her release.

At the same moment, the baby’s shoulders slid free with a wet, audible squelch, more fluids gushing out around them as Poppy’s belly shrank even more. The massive baby slipped into Max’s trembling hands, slick with birth fluids, its weight heavy and warm as Max cradled the tiny, wriggling body.

“Fuck, Poppy… you did it,” Max breathed, his voice thick with emotion as he stared down at the newborn in his hands. “You fucking did it… you’re incredible.”

Poppy’s chest heaved with exhaustion, her head slumping back against the seat as she struggled to catch her breath. Her body trembled, still caught between the aftershocks of her orgasm and the sheer relief of the baby finally being born.

Max, his heart pounding in his chest, leaned in closer, his hands still cradling the slick, squirming newborn. He pressed a soft kiss to her belly, now shrunken and slick with fluids. “You’re amazing,” he whispered, his voice thick with awe as he looked up at her.

Max cradled the newborn boy in his trembling hands, still slick with birth fluids, his breath coming in shaky gasps as he stared down at their child. The weight of the baby in his arms was both grounding and overwhelming, the reality of the moment crashing over him like a wave. His cock still throbbed from the intensity of everything they had just shared, but the raw awe of holding their son in his hands overtook any remaining arousal.

“Poppy,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he looked up at her, his heart pounding in his chest. “It’s a boy.”

Poppy’s eyes fluttered open, her body still trembling from the exertion of birth. She let out a soft, broken laugh, her chest rising and falling in uneven breaths as she looked down at the squirming newborn in Max’s hands. Tears brimmed in her eyes, her face flushed with a mixture of exhaustion and joy.

“A boy,” she breathed, her voice barely more than a whisper as she reached out weakly. “Max… let me hold him.”

Max smiled, his heart swelling with love as he carefully leaned in, gently placing the newborn on Poppy’s chest. The baby squirmed slightly, letting out a soft cry before settling into the warmth of her skin. Poppy’s arms came up shakily to cradle him, her breath hitching as she pressed a kiss to the top of the baby’s tiny head.

“He’s perfect,” she whispered, her voice breaking as tears slipped down her cheeks. “We did it, Max…”

Max’s chest tightened with emotion as he knelt beside her, his hand resting gently on her thigh, still slick with fluids. “You did it, Poppy,” he murmured, his voice filled with awe. “You’re incredible.”

Poppy smiled weakly, her eyes fluttering shut as she leaned her head back against the seat, cradling their son to her chest. The baby let out a soft whimper, his tiny mouth instinctively seeking her breast. Poppy shifted slightly, guiding him toward her nipple, and with a soft, eager suckle, the baby latched on, his tiny lips working rhythmically.

Max watched, mesmerized, as Poppy’s body relaxed slightly, her breaths becoming more even as their son nursed. The sight of her, still slick with the fluids of birth, cradling their newborn in the aftermath of everything they had just gone through, filled him with a profound sense of love and peace.

For a few moments, they simply stayed there, the car filled with the soft sounds of the baby suckling and the quiet rustle of their breaths. The world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the three of them in the warmth of the car’s small space.

But then Poppy’s breath hitched again, her body tensing beneath Max’s hand. Her brow furrowed, and she let out a low groan, her hand instinctively pressing against her belly.

Max’s heart stuttered, concern flooding his chest as he looked up at her. “Poppy? Is it… is it the afterbirth already?” he asked, his voice filled with worry.

Poppy’s face tightened as another contraction rippled through her, but something about it felt different—sharper, more intense. She shook her head, her breath coming in shallow gasps. “No,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “No, Max… it doesn’t feel like that.”

Max’s eyes widened, his pulse quickening as he realized what she was saying. “What do you mean it doesn’t feel like the afterbirth?” he asked, his voice filled with confusion.

Poppy’s eyes squeezed shut, her hand gripping his wrist as another sharp pain shot through her belly. “Max… I think… I think there’s another one.”

Poppy’s breath came in ragged gasps, her eyes wide with shock as the realization settled in. “Max… there’s another one,” she whispered, her voice trembling with both fear and disbelief. Her body tensed again, the pressure building deep inside her, even more intense than before.

Max’s heart raced, his eyes scanning her still swollen belly, which hadn’t shrunk as much as it should have after the birth of their first child. He could see her belly tightening, the unmistakable sign of another contraction rippling across her skin. “Another one…” he murmured, his voice filled with awe and concern. “A twin…”

Poppy let out a low, guttural moan, her hand pressing against her belly as the pressure mounted. “Max… it’s bigger,” she gasped, her body trembling as the new baby shifted inside her, pressing lower, the sensation almost unbearable. “Oh God… it’s so much bigger…”

Max swallowed hard, his cock still painfully hard from the intensity of everything they’d already been through. The sight of her, so raw, so powerful as she prepared to push out a second, even larger baby, had his heart racing and his body throbbing with need. He reached out, his hand gently stroking her thigh, slick with a mixture of birth fluids, his cum, and sweat.

“Poppy… you’re incredible,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire and awe. “You can do this… you’re so strong.”

Poppy’s breath hitched as another contraction rolled through her, the pressure almost unbearable. Her hand flew up to grip the seat, her knuckles white as she fought to steady herself. “Max… touch me,” she groaned, her voice thick with both pain and lust. “I need you to… rub your cock on me… on my belly, my pussy. I need to feel you…”

Max’s breath caught in his throat, the rawness of her request sending another wave of heat through him. His cock, still hard and slick from their earlier release, ached with the need to touch her. Without hesitation, he moved closer, positioning himself between her legs as her belly continued to tighten and contract.

His hands trembled as he reached down, rubbing the head of his cock against her swollen, birth-fluid-slicked belly. The sensation of her tight skin against him, still stretched from the first baby, made him groan softly. He pressed his cock against her, slowly sliding it down across her contracting belly, over the slick mess of fluids, down to her bulging, swollen pussy, where her lips were already starting to part again.

Poppy let out a guttural moan, her hips jerking slightly as she felt the warmth of his cock slide against her. Her head fell back against the seat, her body trembling as the pleasure mingled with the intense pressure of the new baby moving lower inside her. “Yes, Max… just like that,” she gasped, her voice low and breathless. “Rub it against me… fuck, it feels so good…”

Max groaned, his hands gripping her thighs as he rubbed his cock against her slick, swollen pussy, the mixture of birth fluids and his own cum making everything even wetter, more intense. His other hand moved up, finding her clit, swollen and throbbing with need. He rubbed it in firm, tight circles, his breath coming in shallow gasps as Poppy’s body trembled beneath him.

“Oh God, Max,” Poppy whimpered, her voice shaking as the baby pressed even lower, the pressure building to a nearly unbearable degree. Her belly, still huge, contracted violently as another sharp pain shot through her. “It’s coming… the water’s going to break…”

As if on cue, another violent gush of water exploded from her, soaking both of them as the immense pressure inside her was suddenly released. The sheer amount of fluid that poured from her was overwhelming, soaking her thighs, Max’s cock, and the seat beneath her. Her belly shrank considerably, the tightness easing for just a moment, but the massive baby was still pressing down, and the pressure quickly returned.

“Oh fuck, Max,” Poppy groaned, her voice shaking as her hips jerked against his cock. “It’s so much bigger… I can feel it stretching me… oh God, I need to push.”

Max’s heart pounded, his cock throbbing as he pressed it against her slick, shrunken belly, rubbing harder against her. The sight of her belly contracting, the baby pressing lower, and the slick, wet heat of her pussy against him was driving him wild. He rubbed his cock along the length of her body, sliding it back down to her pussy as his fingers continued to work her clit.

“You’re so fucking incredible,” he gasped, his voice thick with both awe and arousal. “Push for me, Poppy… push out our second baby…”

Poppy let out a deep, guttural moan, her body trembling violently as she bore down, the pressure inside her building to an almost unbearable degree. Her free hand which wasn’t holding up the newborn against her, flew up to grip the seat, her knuckles white as she pushed with everything she had. The baby’s head pressed lower, stretching her swollen pussy even more, the bulging lips trembling as the sheer size of the baby began to overwhelm her.

“Oh God… Max… it’s so big… I can feel it,” she whimpered, her voice breaking as her hips jerked against him. “Fuck, it’s stretching me so wide…”

Max groaned, his cock sliding against her slick, birth-fluid-coated skin as he rubbed harder, his fingers moving faster against her clit. “You can do it, Poppy,” he murmured, his voice low and breathless. “You’re so strong… so fucking amazing…”

As he rubbed his cock against her, the newborn boy in Poppy’s arms suckled harder at her breast, his tiny mouth working rhythmically as he nursed. The sensation of the baby nursing, combined with the intense pleasure of Max’s cock and fingers, sent shivers down Poppy’s spine.

Her body trembled violently, her breath coming in sharp gasps as she pushed harder, the baby’s massive head slowly crowning, stretching her to her absolute limit. “Oh fuck, Max… it’s coming… I can feel the head… it’s so fucking big…”

Max groaned, his cock throbbing painfully as he watched her swollen pussy stretch wide, the baby’s head pushing through, her body trembling violently as the pressure inside her built to an unbearable degree. “You’re doing it, Poppy,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with desire and awe. “You’re going to push out our baby… you’re incredible…”

Poppy let out a sharp cry, her body convulsing as she bore down with everything she had. Her breath hitched, her back arching off the seat as she pushed harder, the baby’s head finally slipping free with a wet squelch, more fluids gushing out around it. 

The sensation of her body stretching so wide, combined with the intensity of the moment, sent Max over the edge. His cock throbbed, and with a deep, guttural groan, he came hard, his release spilling over her slick, swollen pussy, mixing with the birth fluids as his body trembled with the force of his climax.

“Oh God, Max… the head’s out,” she whimpered, her voice shaking as the massive baby’s head stretched her wide.

Max, still trembling from his release, pressed his softening cock gently against her slick, swollen lips. His fingers continued to rub her clit, though slower now, still offering her the stimulation she craved. “You’ve got this, Poppy,” he murmured, his voice thick with awe and emotion, his breath steadier now. “Just a little more… push for me, sweetheart…”

Poppy groaned, her entire body shaking as she bore down again, the baby’s massive shoulders pressing through, stretching her even wider. The wet, slick sound of fluids squelching around the baby filled the car as Poppy’s belly shrank more, the pressure inside her finally easing as the huge baby slid free into Max’s trembling hands.

Max gasped, his heart pounding as he cradled the massive newborn in his arms, slick with fluids, the sheer size of the baby almost overwhelming. “Poppy… you did it,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he looked up at her. “He’s out… you’re fucking amazing…”

Poppy’s chest heaved with exhaustion, her head slumping back against the seat as she struggled to catch her breath. Her body trembled, the aftershocks of the intense birth still rippling through her as she smiled weakly, her eyes fluttering open to look at Max.

“We did it,” she whispered, her voice barely more than a breath as she reached out weakly to touch the newborn. “Max… he’s so big…”

Max smiled, his heart swelling with love as he gently handed the massive newborn up to Poppy, placing the baby on her chest. The newborn squirmed slightly, letting out a soft cry before nestling into her skin, his tiny mouth instinctively seeking her other breast. With a soft, eager suckle, the second baby latched on, nursing alongside his brother.

Poppy let out a soft, broken laugh, tears slipping down her cheeks as she cradled both of their babies to her chest. “They’re perfect, Max… they’re so perfect…”

Max leaned in closer, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, his hand gently stroking her thigh as he smiled down at their newborns. “You’re perfect, Poppy,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re everything.”

The air in the car was thick with the warmth of their shared exhaustion, the surreal calm that followed the raw, primal storm they had just endured. Max’s gaze traveled between his wife and their newborn sons, still latched to Poppy’s breasts, nursing quietly as if the intensity of their arrival had never happened. It was quiet now, but the weight of what they had done—what they had experienced—hung heavy between them.

Max chuckled softly under his breath, the sound low and full of disbelief. “I can’t believe we just… we just did that,” he murmured, his hand smoothing over the soft curve of her thigh, still slick with birth fluids and his own release. “In a car, no less.”

Poppy let out a tired, breathless laugh, her chest rising and falling as she glanced down at the two perfect, tiny lives she’d just brought into the world. “Yeah… not exactly the traditional way to deliver twins, is it?” she muttered, her voice thick with exhaustion, but there was a hint of amusement in her eyes.

Max shook his head, still unable to fully process the sheer madness of what had happened. His wife, giving birth to their twins in the cramped, intimate space of their luxury car, covered in a mix of birth fluids, cum, and the sweat of their shared pleasure—it was something out of a wild, forbidden fantasy. He never could have imagined this, not in his wildest dreams.

“I guess we don’t do things the conventional way,” he said softly, a small smile tugging at his lips as his fingers traced delicate patterns on her skin. “But we did it. You did it. You’re amazing.”

Poppy sighed, her body finally relaxing into the seat, her muscles still trembling from the intensity of labor. She let out another soft laugh, shaking her head. “I don’t know whether to feel proud or insane,” she muttered, her lips curving into a faint smile. “But… we made it.”

Max’s heart swelled with so much love and devotion as he gazed down at her, the disbelief and awe still flooding his chest. After everything he had been through—the power, the mistakes, the devastation of the Dream Stone—he had never imagined that life could give him this. A family. A second chance. The weight of it all threatened to overwhelm him, but as he looked at his wife, cradling their twins, a sense of peace washed over him.

“I never thought… after everything,” Max whispered, his voice catching slightly, “that life could still surprise me like this.”

Poppy smiled softly, her eyes closing as she leaned her head back, still cradling the newborns against her chest. “You deserve it, Max,” she murmured, her voice soft but certain. “We both do.”

Max swallowed hard, his hand resting on her belly, which was still soft and contracting slightly, the aftershocks of what her body had just endured. “Yeah,” he said quietly, his voice filled with emotion. “Maybe we do.”

For a long moment, they sat in silence, the air around them heavy with the strange, wonderful reality of what had just happened. The twins suckled contentedly, the car now filled with the gentle sounds of their breathing and the occasional rustle of movement.

Max had never thought his life could still hold this kind of joy, this kind of raw, unfiltered connection. Not after the chaos and destruction he had brought into the world. But as he sat there, with his wife and their newborns, he realized that this—this strange, unconventional, messy moment—was everything he had ever needed.

Poppy shifted slightly in the seat, a tired but amused smirk on her lips. “Max,” she muttered, her voice hoarse but teasing, “you might want to tuck yourself back in. I don’t think the hospital’s ready for that much of you.”

Max blinked, glancing down at himself, his still-exposed cock, and laughed softly, the absurdity of it all hitting him. “Right, yeah, that might be a bit much.” He quickly tucked himself back into his pants, zipping up with a sheepish smile. “Thanks for the heads-up.”

But as soon as the moment of levity passed, Poppy let out a low groan, her hand flying to her belly as another contraction rippled through her. “Max… oh God, it’s not over,” she whispered, her face tightening in discomfort. “The afterbirth…”

Max’s pulse quickened, but this time, he wasn’t panicking. He moved with calm efficiency, carefully helping her shift her position in the seat. “I’ve got you,” he murmured softly, his hand gently supporting her back as she bore down again. Poppy’s breath came in short, labored gasps, her body expelling the afterbirth with far less intensity than before, but still enough to leave her trembling.

Max reached back to the go-bag in the backseat, pulling out clean towels. He worked quickly, wiping down her legs and carefully cleaning up the aftermath as much as he could in the small, cramped space. Birth fluids soaked the towels, and Max wrapped the afterbirth with steady hands, placing it aside before turning his attention to his wife and their newborns.

With tenderness and care, he grabbed the soft, baby-blue blankets from the go-bag, wrapping each of their newborn sons snugly. The twins squirmed a little but quickly settled into the warmth, content against Poppy’s chest as she cradled them.

Max glanced up at her, the weight of everything hitting him as he brushed a damp strand of hair from her forehead. “You okay?” he asked softly, his voice low and filled with concern.

Poppy smiled faintly, her eyes fluttering open to meet his. “Never been better…” she whispered, exhaustion evident in her words, but there was a softness there too.  

He moved back into the driver’s seat, the engine purring to life as he carefully pulled the car back onto the road. The world outside was quiet now, the chaos of their wild birth experience behind them, though the warmth and smell of it lingered in the small space of the car, but they didn’t care.

As they drove toward the hospital, Poppy stirred, glancing down at the two tiny bundles in her arms. “Alastair’s going to lose his mind,” she said softly, a tired but warm smile tugging at her lips. “He’s been waiting for this moment forever.”

Max smiled at the thought, his heart swelling. “He’s going to be the best big brother,” he murmured, pride flooding his chest.

[lazyjellyfish300]

Hey Jelly! May I request a Drabble for your Fall/Autumn Flufftober event?

It involves Miguel O’Hara and [Reader] [Gender Neutral] experiencing a “haunted house” as part of their date. Miguel would especially be protective of [Reader] throughout the attraction, despite being aware they’re just props and scare actors doing their jobs. While doing so, Miguel is “holding hands” with [Reader] to not lose one another at the house.

SWIFT!! OFC this is such a cute idea 😭😭💕💕 so sorry it took me forever but hey spooky season isn't over til I say so 😁🖤🎃 thank you for requesting 💕

a haunted house with miguel 🏚️🖤🎃

Warnings: xGN!READER , fluff, crack, joking reference to monsterfucking.

Words 1.5k

The shivering bite of October nighttime was starting to get to you, but with Miguel close by, it made the seconds more tolerable as you stood outside the haunted attraction.

Michael Myers' theme music blasted in speakers with green and purple flashing lights, the smoke from the bonfire in front and the chalky smell from the fog machines joined together to make a spooky concoction that filled your nostrils while the distant shrieks from other guests made your stomach twist with the anticipation of what ghoulish tricks awaited you inside.  

"Ready for this?" Your boyfriend, Miguel, asks with his charming lopsided smile, one of his arms around you pulling you into his gray hoodie that blessed you with sandalwood every time he brought you closer. 

You smile at him from where your chin is lightly resting against his chest. "I mean I'm ready, I don't know about you though."

"I'm ready." Miguel answers, raising his eyebrow at a thrift store looking Leatherface targeting a group of 14 year olds with his fake chainsaw. "Seems a little intense." 

"For $80, I sure hope so." You hummed, tsking your teeth, all the while you hoped your phony nonchalantness wasn't betraying you. "They better kill us for that price." 

"Don't say that." Miguel nudges you. "Then I won't know if Melissa was really set up by Teresa and Kim D. or if Teresa was innocent." 

"Oh my God, you're more invested in that freaking show than I am." You fake offense and poke playfully at Miguel's stomach of steel while his hands followed yours, defending against your attacks. "Not even concerned that I'd be dead, just mad your ass can't watch the ending of Real Housewives of New Jersey!"

"Haha, yeahhh cause we'd both be dead, genius." Miguel shakes his head, finally spinning you around and nudging you forward as the line drew closer to the entrance. "They don't have streaming services in heaven." 

"Oh I don't think we're going to heaven, sir." You examine your nails. "I mean, I am, I dunno about you though, it's a lil toasty where you're headed.." 

"Oye, watch your step." Miguel chides as you almost trip over your own feet. 

"Greeeeetings, mortals! Party of two?" The worker dressed as the bride of Frankenstein inquires, fake vampire teeth practically falling out of her mouth. 

"Yeah." Miguel clears his throat as he looks at you sideways. 

The worker goes off on her spiel, 'don't touch the actors and they won't touch you, stay on the designated path, take note of the emergency exits should you need to exit the haunt early but beware there is no reentry upon leaving, most of all be safe, have fun, hope you make it out alive or some sort of painful joke at the end', blah blah blah

Your attention is snapped back to Earth when she gives you and Miguel the green light to go ahead, and the invisible magnets in your hands find and seize one another as you clasped each other's hands in the dark as you sauntered cautiously forward. 

"Having fun already?" Miguel teases. "Your hand is sweaty like you've run a marathon and we're not even two minutes in." 

"Man, shut up, I am not-aaaAAHH!" You jump and cling to Miguel at a loud thump on the wall from one of the actors behind you. 

Miguel chuckles. "This is gonna be a long ride." 

-----

"Oh helllllll nah." 

You start to turn around at the sight of the giant clown sitting in a chair at the end of the dark stuffy hallway holding an axe. 

"Baby, this was your idea." Miguel halted you in your tracks, spinning you around to face the front. 

You gulped as you studied the menace, pinstripes with an eerie grin and all. "That thing is gonna jump, just watch." 

"I'm pretty sure it's stuffed." 

"No, babe, that is a living breathing killer clown from outer space." 

"For the love...just get behind me." Miguel inches down the hallway, his broad back obscuring your view.

"Mig, what's happening? I can't see shit." You turn to your right and at that very moment lock eyes with Chucky, letting out an unholy scream which makes you smack into Miguel which causes him to nearly fall on top of the clown.

The teen underneath the clown mask saw all 15 years of his life flash before his eyes at the 6'9 tank about to crush him, realizing his final thoughts would be that the $7.25 an hour for this gig truly wasn't worth it. 

"Jesus!" Miguel gains his bearings, flustered as he turns to you. "You alright?" 

"Yeah, course I am." You lie. 

Miguel takes your clammy hand again. "Alright this time, don't let go of my hand." 

"Right." 

You two make the rest of your way through the haunted circus, the black light illuminating your clothes with the neon paint splatter on the walls, navigating through the eclectic fun house atmosphere with the unsettling music box tunes blaring overhead. 

Miguel remains stoic for the most part. Although you try to thug it out, every now and then a sudden noise or bang or obnoxious cackle behind you will make you jump. Miguel responds by bringing you closer protectively, cracking a joke to make you feel more at ease. 

"This man thinks he's Pennywise but he's really Krusty the clown." He nods in the direction of another menacing clown with sharp teeth that tries to get all up in your face. You burst out laughing and the guy underneath the mask low-key feels his hopes and dreams get crushed in the same sentence. 

The rest of the haunted house isn't so daunting with your protective boyfriend guiding every step. You get scary dog privilege without even trying, as most of the actors are intimidated by Miguel's large size alone, if not his sarcastic quips everytime they get too close. 

"Welllllllcome to my shop of horrors!" A butcher covered in fake blood with a crazy look in his eyes and a leather apron tries to get you to eat his human brain casserole. 

Miguel looks unimpressed. "I burn water but I can make a lasagna more edible than that." 

You cackle as Miguel leads you away, leaving the butcher equal parts baffled and clutching his invisible pearls. 

---

You come to a part of the haunted house that leads back outdoors, with fog all around you and a werewolf that comes running up to you on all fours, snarling and foaming at the mouth. 

You startle for just a moment then smirk as you turn to Miguel, 

"Hear me out..." 

"Absolutely not." Miguel figures he's gonna have you lay off the dark romance novels for a bit as he drags you away. 

-----

Once you get to the final section with the vampires, your fears have all but disappeared, playing along and smiling when Dracula with his cult of vampire wives waltzes up to you and asks to suck your blood. 

"Just warning you, Vladdy, I'm anemic." You flirt as you take his arm. 

"Alright, that's it." Miguel grumbles as he drags you away yet again. At first you were scared of the monsters, now he has to stop you from banging them. 

"But he's hot, and he has fangs!" You protest, giggling as Dracula dramatically bids you farewell, inviting you back to Transylvania anytime while Miguel carries you to the exit. 

"We have fangs at home." Miguel reminds you with a smirk before flashing his prominent canines at you. You have to stifle a giggle as you lay your head on his chest. 

 ----

"Well that was fun." You cuddle next to Miguel a short time later on the couch in your shared apartment, sighing as you lean forward, using your sweater as heat pads to pick up your mug of hot cocoa while he peruses for a Halloween movie to watch. 

"It was fun." Miguel hums. "But we're not doing it again." 

"Why not?!" 

"I'm not paying nearly a hundred dollars for you to practically leave me for Edward and Jacob from Twilight." 

"Oh my God, you actually got their names right!" 

"In other news, the movie's starting, so..."

"Baby, you're not really jealous are you?" You get closer and plop in his lap, Miguel letting out an overdramatic pained grunt. "Oh, stop it, you." 

Miguel doesn't crack at first, remaining tight-lipped while you shower him with little pecks. "You know I could never leave you, Migs." 

Miguel finally reveals a smile, "Oh, I know, I just like hearing you say it." He pulls the blanket over your shoulders as Coraline begins playing.

"Man, all you had to do was ask!" 

"Ssshhhh....Coraline's on." Miguel winks as he silences you once more. 

"Mhmm, love you too." 

You grin and feel any cold from earlier disappear altogether as Miguel's prescence warms you from the inside out as you watch the movie together, hot chocolate in hand, cookies in the oven, candles lit, all the while the chill of outside remains where it belongs in the October night in Nueva York. 

[philistiniphagottini]

Smut prompts: 6 + 17 + 56 + 60 with Gallagher please? Female reader as well.

You can do one of the smut prompts or add any more if you like. After doing the main quest, I immediately starting maiming and building this guy. His design is very unique as well! Especially how he had one white glove and the other..well, the colors and all that. I find it so cute that his outfit is like a dog/wolf kinda. Especially if you look closely, he has a paw print underneath his shoe, it’s so cute!

Oh my god, same. I started building Gallagher the second I got him. I put him on my Dr. Ratio team and in my Acheron team. And I like his design as well. Finally, a playable character with a bit of facial hair to spice things up. AND OH MY GOD THE LITTLE PAWPRINTS UNDERNEATH HIS SHOES ARE SO CUTE. I love the little feetsies, it's a nice touch.

I hope you don't mind, but I just did number 6 + 56 for this one. I hope you like it, thanks for stopping by and requesting :)

Smut Prompts

Prompts 6 + 56

cw. smut, oral sex (fem receiving), fingering (fem receiving), overstimulation, squirting, female reader, MDNI

"Ahh shit, Gallagher, that’s sensitive" you said, voice almost tapering off into a broken whine.

Your jaw clenched, teeth nibbling on the dry skin of your kiss swollen lips as a soft hiss whistled through your teeth. You jolted beneath Gallagher’s large frame, your bare skin searing to the touch as his fingers trailed over your soft thighs. His touch was featherlight as his fingertips ghosted over your wet slit, your pussy puffy and soaked with arousal. You shied away from his touch, the tips of your fingers tingling with numbness as you raked your nails across the silk bedsheets beneath you, the sheets soaked with sweat as it clung to your clammy skin.

A warm hum bubbled up Gallagher’s throat as his fingers lazily circled the glistening pearl sitting pretty at the top of your pussy, his lazy eyes sparking with mirth as he brushed his thumb against the sensitive hood of your clit. Your hips canted forward against the pressure, the smouldering embers of pleasure sparking back to life in the pit of your stomach. Every hair on the nape of your neck stood up in anticipation as he dragged his gloved fingers along your drooling slit, the slick drag of leather making your heart jump up into your throat as his fingers gently pried the petals of your silky folds apart.

"Come on darl, you’ve got one more in you" Gallagher whispered with a husky purr of your name.

His face hovered between your parted thighs, tongue slowly dragging across his lips as your dazed eyes followed the movement. You could feel his warm breath puffing against your pussy with each deep breath he took, the simple huff of air setting every single white-hot nerve in your body on edge as your face burned with renewed arousal. You tried to think past the thick haze of lust fogging up your mind but you couldn’t. It was difficult to hear your own thoughts over the sound of your pulse droning loudly in your ears like the pound of a drum. You could barely recall how long you had been at this. Minutes? Hours? You lost track of time the moment Gallagher placed his head between your supple thighs. You swallowed thickly, tasting desire lingering in the back of your throat as Gallagher patiently waited for you to speak, his ears twitching forward when your breath hitched for a brief moment.

You softly nodded before your head flopped back into the fluffy, safe confines of your pillow, damp strands of hair stubborly clinging to your forehead.

"Just be gentle" you softly warbled. "Still so sensitive."

Gallagher chuckled softly, his large hands patting your thighs before he squeezed, fingers sinking into your plush skin until it spilled between the digits.

"I’ll take care of you, darl" Gallagher promised.

Nothing could prepare you when he dragged the flat of his rough tongue through the silky folds of your pussy. You shrieked, lungs pinching in your chest as you closed your eyes against the onslaught of bliss. It felt like his tongue was lapping at a raw nerve as it flicked over your sopping pussy, the scruff of his beard scratching your sensitive skin and making your body hyper aware of every intimate movement between your legs. Your toes curled into the soles of your feet as his gloved fingers pressed against your dribbling hole, fluttering and clenching around nothing in anticipation as his tongue poked at the hood of your clit.

A constellation of tears clung to the corners of your lashes as a wet sob got stuck in your throat, tongue glued to the roof of your mouth as you twisted beneath Gallagher’s large frame. You couldn’t control how fast the coil in your gut twisted, unable to escape as your blood simmered in your veins and the fire inside your belly was fanned into fiercer flames under your lover’s expert touch. A purr of content stirred in Gallagher’s throat as he savoured the taste of you as it danced along his tongue, your intoxicating scent curling in his lungs with each deep breath he took. His fingers teased your opening, the tips of his fingers dipping into the tight ring of muscles before two thick fingers sunk in.

A harsh cry of rapture was wrenched from your lips as your hips shuddered. It was too much yet at the same time, it was too little. The tips of your ears burned red hot at the filthy sound of your pussy slobbering around his fingers as he languidly pumped them inside of you, soft leather rubbing against your plush walls and setting your teeth on edge. Your nails threatened to tear holes in the bedsheets as you held on for dear life, eyelids fluttering wildly as you tried to prevent your eyes from rolling into the back of your head. You could barely see Gallagher through the tears that dotted your vision, his mop brown hair tickling your skin as he buried his face deeper into the apex of your thighs. A pleased moan rumbled in his chest as he sucked on your swollen lips, the lashing of his tongue making the edges of your nerves start to fray as it bullied the sensitive nub of your clit.

Your lips parted but no words came out. Only dry heaves and soft hiccups of pleasure as your body was driven higher and higher with ecstasy. You could feel Gallagher’s fingers curl and twist inside of you, the tips brushing against the soft, gummy patch inside you that made stars swell in your vision. You were so close you could almost taste it on the tip of your tongue. A constant push and pull, an ebb and flow of pleasure that you had no control over, body burning with sensitivity that made you want to cry into the moonlit night. A third finger teased your hole as your velvety walls clenched around Gallagher’s fingers tightly, desperately trying to suck him deeper and keep him pressed to the spot where you ached the most. A smile curled his lips as his gaze flicked up to your face, watching it contort and twist in pleasure as you were slowly ripped apart at the seams. The coil in your gut twisted unbearably tight, the pressure inside you threatening to break something as your pussy throbbed and ached for another release.

You found it when you chanced a peek at your lover’s face squished between your thick thighs, long eyelashes brushing against your burning cheeks as you watched Gallagher’s tongue toy with your clit, the sensitive bundle of nerves twitching on the tip of his tongue as he savoured it like it was his favourite sweet. The dam inside of you broke and you could do nothing as your orgasm tore through you without remorse, nor surrender.

You couldn’t quite recall how many times you had already cum tonight. You lost count after the fourth one. It was all just a hazy blur now as you screamed and cried with bliss, coil in your stomach shattering as your veins were flooded with white hot relief. Your walls clenched around Gallagher’s fingers, hot and throbbing; sore and tired as you desperately tried to cling to him. Your hips jolted as your juices squirted from your overstimulated pussy, thin strands of translucent fluid drenching his fingers and the bottom of his chin. There was not a single ounce of complaint as Gallagher happily lapped up the culmination of your arousal, drinking your sweet nectar from your core as you continued to cry and whimper above him.

Gallagher parted from you with a loud pop when he was finally satiated, tongue lapping at the remnants of his meal still lingering on his lips. His strong hands massaging against your tired, overstimulated body was like a soothing balm as he placed fleeting kisses between your thighs, tongue idly lapping at the beads of arousal that stained your skin.

"Good girl" he said, his voice vibrating between your twitching legs. "I knew you had it in you. Don't worry, I'll pamper you rotten now."

[mikaelsonharem7]

𝐉𝐞𝐭 𝐋𝐚𝐠 🛩️

NSFW 🔞

Your first time overseas and the time zone change was rough. Luckily a certain someone has experience and lends a helping hand 😉

꧁♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎꧂

Jet lag was real. You were running on Red Bulls all day getting last-minute nail appointments scheduled for Crown Jewel tomorrow. Being the new nail tech for WWE definitely had its perks. Working with your childhood favorites and getting to see the world was a plus. Sitting in your hotel, drawing on your iPad, final designs for the women wrestlers so that you could have everything planned out tomorrow. You suddenly get a text on your phone.

 

Randy: you up?

me: barely 🥱

Randy: Is jet lag hitting you?

me: like a train!

Randy: I can help you fall asleep faster.😏

 

You stare at your phone with your mouth agape. Rereading and rereading the text, trying to see if you can interpret it any other way, but what other way could he have meant?

 

Yes, you two have been flirting back-and-forth, but you didn’t think he looked at you like that. There have been many nights that you made yourself cum to the thought of you and Randy in bed, and having the opportunity in front of you made your stomach have butterflies.

 

“What did you have in mind?” You texted back. Waiting for his response, you feel your hands start to sweat and your body heat up when you see those three little dots before he responded.

 

“Come to my room and I’ll show you.”

 

Rereading the text, you want to walk on the wild side and just go with the flow, so before you can talk yourself out of it, you say, “Send the room number.”

 

“1753”

 

“otw”

 

You change into something a little more comfortable. It’s a nightgown with two slits up your thighs, and you thought it would be very easy to access. As you make your way to his room, your stomach is doing a backflip because you can’t believe that you’re actually about to do this, but you think to yourself, YOLO.

 

Knocking on the door, your nerves spike when you see Randy open the door, and he looks over what you were wearing, and a smile appears on his face. He moves aside and invites you in, and immediately, when you walk into his room, you notice how spacious it is. Hearing the door close, you turn to see Randy walking towards you and notice what he’s wearing. Black sweats and a muscle shirt. Showing off his giant arms and those tattoos. God did you love his tattoos. You didn’t realize you were staring until you heard Randy call your name to get your attention.

 

"I’m sorry, what did you say?” You blink back into reality. Realizing that you were caught, you feel your cheeks heat up. Thank goodness for your dark complexion.

 

Chuckling Randy repeats, “Is this what you wear to bed?” his eyes racking over your body. You feel your body heat up under his gaze. The way he was looking at you had you shift your weight, and when you did, the slits on your gown shifted, showing more of your thighs. That got Randy’s attention and his eyes, firmly painted on your lower half.

 

“So you said that you had something to help with my insomnia?” You said wanting to displace the silence in the room. Nodding Randy walks over to the living area and sits down, and you notice that he has a rolling tray out, and he said, “This is what I had in mind, and this is what helps me sleep, especially when the jet lag is kicking my ass.” A little surprised that the viper gardens, but it wasn’t anything new to you.

 

Walking over to the couch to him, you watch him begin to roll, and you start to make conversation with him. Asking him about his feelings about his match tomorrow and just getting to know him, especially since he was your favorite growing up. The next thing you know, a few hours have passed, and you both are pretty high, and you’re just making small talk when Randy turns and looks at you and just stares.

 

“What?” You ask. Then you realize that the slits on your nightgown had ridden up and the whole side of your thigh was exposed. You try to adjust, but Randy’s hand stops you and slowly travels up your thigh. Heat blossoms in you. Being bold, you slowly climb into his lap, which he eagerly pulls you closer to him.

 

You feel his large hands on your thighs, slowly moving up and down, and then they suddenly go to cup your ass as he pulls closer to him. Your lips meet, and fire explodes. Moans and heavy breathing are all that can be heard in the room. You pull away and help him remove his shirt; your hands instantly go to his huge chest as you slowly trail your nails down, slightly scratching, and he makes a sound, not of discomfort, but a sound that he likes what you’re doing. Making sure you keep eye contact. You slowly slide yourself down to your knees in between his legs, looking up at him. Looking up at him through your lashes, you ask,

 

“Can I make you cum daddy?”

 

You don’t know what came over you, but you suddenly got a rush of confidence. Randy nods, unable to form a coherent sentence. You slowly slide your hands over his thick thighs till you get to the top of his sweats, and you gently and slowly start to pull them down. His hard dick bounces out and hits just below his bellybutton, and it’s already leaking. Grabbing him, you lick a stripe from the base all the way to the top and take him deep. Still looking at him through your lashes, you watch his face contort in pleasure. He grabs your head, making you take him deeper till he hits the back of your throat. Of course you oblige and keep doing this until you feel him twitch and he spills himself down your throat. As you release him from your mouth, you see that he’s still hard, and he suddenly grabs you and throws you on the other end of the couch.

 

Pushing your thighs open, he settles between your legs; he kisses and nips both sides of your thighs, making you moan in the process, getting closer to the place where you want him most. He finally reaches your center and takes a long lick from your pussy all the way to your clit; his tongue circles, and then he starts to suck your clit. Your hands immediately goes to his head to try to push him off, but he captures your wrists and continues to eat. He continues to eat his fill, surprising you as he adds two fingers, curling them til he finds that sweet spot until you release and cum in his mouth. As you come down from your high, your body can’t help but shake and twitch from the orgasm he just gave you.

 

His blue eyes never leave yours as he kisses up your body until he gets directly over you and pulls you into a long, passionate kiss. Tasting yourself on his lips and tongue sends your senses into overload. Never breaking the kiss, you feel him at your entrance, and he slowly pushes in. Feeling him stretch you causes you to gasp in his mouth and bite your lip.

 

“You feel so tight around me, baby. Squeezing me. You like how I’m stretching that pussy?”

 

Hearing him talk like this had your mind going 1,000,000 miles an hour, not able to process or form a coherent thought. You look up at him, and the look he gives you goes straight to your pussy.

 

Starting to go faster, he grunts out, “I asked you a question I expect you to answer.” “Do you like the way I’m stretching this pussy?”

 

"Yes,” you reply in a whimper.

 

Smacking the side of your thigh, he says, “Yes, WHAT?”

 

Not wanting the feeling of him inside of you to stop, you say with a straggly moan, “Yes, daddy." Smiling, Randy hooks his arms under your thighs, making you spread wider so he can go deeper. Sitting up, he brings a hand around your neck and forces you to watch as he pounds you. His other hand trails down your body til you feel his thumb start to strum your clit. The wet sound of him sliding in and out plus the visual of seeing you cream all over his dick was enough to trigger your second orgasm. Shaking as your orgasm rocks through your body, you feel yourself squeeze around Randy’s dick, and you hear him stutter a cry of pleasure as his hips begin to falter and speed up as he chases his own orgasm. A few seconds later, you feel him twitch and release rope after rope of cum deep inside of you.

 

Both trying to catch your breath, he slowly pulls out and looks where you both were once connected and watches his cum slowly leak out and form trail down. You, in a sea of bliss, try to catch your breath because you just had some of the most amazing sex ever. You didn’t even realize that he had left until you felt a warm towel cleaning up the mess you both made. Your legs are jelly, and Randy can see this, so he scoops you up and walks you both to the bedroom. Placing you in the bed, he gets in as well, and you yawn.

 

"Did that help your jet lag?” Randy asks with a smirk in his face, already knowing the answer. All you could see was a barely audible “mmhmm” as you drifted off into the much-needed sleep.

[miffmuff]

Sighh I love Rob as much as the next guy, but I can't keep silent on this. His pre-void design is so god damn UGLY

LIKE EWW WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. WHAT IS THAT STUPID KAREN HAIRCUT. Why does it look so poorly photoshopped on, it's painful to look at. And the hands, don't get me started ON THE HANDS. WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THAT. THE FUVKIN FINGER NAILS ARE GROSS. And with those stupid shoes, mf looks like he's about to start hitting a jig. And might I add that is the saddest backpack I have ever seen. Who allowed this design, I know he's a background character but still ☹️

Oh and don't even get me started on season 1.

This thing follows me in my nightmares. You know when looking at the old concept posters for tawog you can see Rob... And he doesn't actually look that bad. Like

He actually looks kinda silly y'all, the hair still kinda sucks but it's not as bad, also doesn't have that sad sad backpack. Why couldn't this Rob be the final one, sighhhh 😔

A lot of pre void rob art makes him look super cute and I'm like aww the silly!!! I start to actually like his design and then I get jumpscared by whatever the hell canon is doing. I might be a die hard Rob fan but I can't glaze him I'm sorry.

I think he should be grateful for the void now he looks cool, I am an enjoyer of his Post-void design it is banger. Did he get permanently disfigured, have temporary amnesia, have everybody lose memory of who he used to be, be assigned a role he doesn't wanna play, deal with the knowledge that he's created purely for the amusement of an audience and has to be entertaining otherwise he'll get sent into a pocket dimension of eternal limbo? Yes. But does he have those stupid elf shoes and that ctrl+c ctrl+v haircut anymore? No. The pros outweigh the cons guys.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[ofallthingsnasty]

Oh, I love this 👀 My brain immediately went with arranged marriage, I hope that's okay too? Thank you for sending this, I'm starting to like him... hehe. Requests are open! tags: arranged marriage, unrequited feelings (on reo's part), yandere, noncon in those last few sentences, alcohol, minors dni word count: 1.1k

We know that Reo is just so bored with things he can easily have, with that stuffy, uptight life his parents have planned for him. So on he goes - follows his dreams, becomes a pro-athlete, plays and works alongside Nagi - but getting married to a nice, established heir his parents have picked seems to be something he can’t get out of easily. He had his fun, they argue, they let him have this, the soccer and the glitz and glam of being an established pro. It’s time for him to cave and do something for them, too. (And he should know- he can’t trust all these…  floozies throwing themselves at all these famous players, they’re probably all gold diggers anyway. No, he should let them choose the perfect partner for him, someone nice and rich and from a successful family just like him.) He’ll fight it, tooth and nail - but in the end, there is little use to it. When he sees a picture of you for the first time, he can’t help but roll his eyes at you. You’re clearly old money, all prim and proper and draped in tasteful designer. God,  you look insufferable. And he’ll let you know just what he thinks of you when you meet for the first time, even when his mother clutches her fork extra tight when he acts more like a child than the grown man he is. He doesn’t care. He’ll go through it for them, but he makes it abundantly clear that he has no interest in you whatsoever. It’s infuriating how you smile through it all, how you’re all polite and kind and invested in this when it only makes him sick to his stomach. His parents love you. And with your family’s success and your likable face, it’s decided. Your wedding is quaint yet expensive - dull and elegant just like you and he can barely hide his disgust at the fakeness of it all - imagine his shock when all of that melts away after the knot is tied and you’re finally alone with him. Turns out, you want to have as much to do with him as he does with you, that all that friendliness was just an act. You tell him you’ll play the part of the loving spouse in public, that you’ll come to all his games, that you’ll cling to him as though your life depends on it during any sort of events, that you’ll show your face with him out on “dates” and fancy getaways - but that he won’t get any love from you, either. That you only jumped on this opportunity because he was so disinterested in you, that you wanted to have your parents out of your hair just as much as he did, that this is purely transactional. Shock melts into acceptance but he suddenly sees you in a new light: More like a kindred spirit, someone pushed into this against their will and not some money-hungry person jumping at the chance to get further in life with this bond - suddenly you intrigue him, suddenly he finds himself watching you. Now you’re something he can’t have and now you have his full interest. He notices all those little, endearing quirks you have, sees how different you actually are from what he thought of you. With each passing day, he feels more drawn to you - how ironic it is that even though you’re married, vowed to stay together through everything life might throw at you, he can’t even really talk to you without you giving him the cold shoulder. It’s maddening. And exhilarating. He can’t get you out of his head, thinks and talks about you all the time - it’s all his spouse this, his partner that - yet at home, you barely look at him. Any attempt at getting to know you better, at piquing your curiosity at least a little bit, is fruitless. No matter how many thoughtful gifts he buys you (you tell him you can buy yourself treats with your own money), how many times he takes you on elaborate dates (you hate those, he should know that - you want to spend as little time as possible out in public, pretending), how many compliments he pays you (you just raise your brows at those) - there is no getting through to you. Every trick up his sleeve, he has tried to play it, to no avail. It’s eating him up inside. The mounting desperation is not only emotional in nature, it starts to get… sexual as well. How many times has he imagined you riding him, finally giving in to him, finally ending this torture. He has one last thing to try, one last shot at getting to pry you open, even though it’s scummy - but he has no more shame to feel, he just wants a taste of you. And so he takes you out to another fancy dinner, keeps your glass full and your stomach light, uses the fact that you never make a scene in public to his advantage. You don’t know what he’s trying to achieve but you play along, going from tipsy to clearly drunk in little to no time. Suddenly there is a smile on your face and would you look at that - you can even laugh. For the first since your wedding you willingly touch him, not because you’re playing it up for the paparazzi but because you want to. You clutch his arm as he steadies you and guides you outside, lean your full weight into him. And he revels in it. You’re a much better sport when you’ve had a few. And it must have been so exhausting for you, as well - all those months without the touch of another, without anyone to hold you. He’s easy on the eyes, he knows this - it shouldn’t be hard to spark that long lost flame in your belly. He wants to feel bad when he slowly helps you out of you clothes but the sight of you snuffs all of the guilt out. You’re airy and soft like this, hungry for him, even. You laugh and giggle about the fact that you’re married yet haven’t had sex yet and moan when he sucks on your neck, cry out when he finally pushes himself into you. He fucks you with so much fervor that you can only cling to him as you garble out nonsense, that you can truly only take it. He knows you won’t have forgotten about this tomorrow morning, that you’ll feel him for days to come but he doesn’t care. He finally has what he wanted and the chase has made it all the sweeter. Who cares if you won’t talk to him for a week straight once you’re sober? You’re married - not only that, he’s a goddamn star. Who’d believe you that he had to push you into this? You can sulk all you want come tomorrow but he’ll have his moment right now.

[redbleedingrose]

Pre-Girl Dad!Eris with Pregnant Reader

Guys, I just had this thought to do a mini drabble of what Eris was like when you were pregnant with your babes, Marwa and Twila!

Eris was initially terrified when he found out you were pregnant. He walked in on you changing and just paused at the door, eyes wide open and jaw on the floor as the change in your scent flooded his senses

He didn't want to fuck things up with his own babes. He is deeply terrified of turning out like his father and it takes a couple weeks of reassurance from you that he is going to be the best father to your babes

The final nail in the head for him is when he feels the babes kicking in your swollen belly while he rests his head, and murmurs down stories at the babes

We all know Eris swore left and right that he would be fine with any gender, as long as the babe is healthy… we all know he constantly reassured you he had no expectations for whether he was expecting a girl or boy.

We all also know that he secretly prayed to the mother and gods for the entirety of your pregnancy that it would be a girl babe that looks exactly like you and is exactly like you.

I think you were blessed with no experiences of morning sickness, but Eris suffered nausea for the first trimester of your pregnancy. He always claimed it was him stealing any sort of pain you could possibly experience for himself to save you, but you know it’s because the poor male was anxious

Protection spells galore. He has Helion teach him every sort of shielding spell in the books and even out of the books. Surprisingly, the people of Autumn are really good with charm magic, and so, Eris brought you an anklet with little willow tree charms that he had spelled for protection. He insisted you wear it the entirety of your pregnancy.

Any pregnancy cravings you experienced had Eris jumping out of bed at 3 in the morning to go to the kitchen so he could cook for you himself. And if it was something restaurant specific, he was going to the homes of the chefs and bakers, promising them bucket loads of money if they were to make whatever you were craving

Foot massages daily, your feet were swollen from carrying your babes, and at the time, you didn’t even know you were carrying two. No wonder your ankles were the sizes of apples. Eris constantly had you resting your feet in his lap, massaging at the skin delicately. He constantly had a little stool around that he could rest under your feet so they would be raised instead of hanging on the floor

This male spent hours designing the nursery, he wanted everything to be perfect for his perfect babe. He worked hand in hand with different carpenters and artisans to create everything that was in the room, part of it with his own hands.

Eris bought tons and tons of children’s books. He created a wall of book shelves in the nursery filled with books because he wanted to spend hours reading to his babes.

Constant cuddles with you. Your scent is so soothing to him, and he is constantly resting his warm hands on the swell of your belly, rubbing it in circles and pushing in every so often to feel the babe kick back at him.

Sometimes you would wake up in the middle of the night to Eris resting his head on your belly, whispering stories of his life and promises to protect and love his babe no matter what. Promises to be the best papa he could be. Promises to shower the babe and you with love and affection, promising only happiness.

Anytime he came back from being away, he would kiss you deeply before getting down on his knees to rub and kiss your belly, “hello little love, papa missed you,” smiling as a little foot pushed at his lips

In your final trimester of pregnancy, Eris bought you a cottage by the sea as a thank you for giving him the best life, for giving him love and happiness he couldn’t have ever imagined.

The autumn midwives are able to use magic that allows for you to listen to the babes heartbeats, and Eris cried the first time (and every time after) he heard it

Hours upon hours of searching for baby names. You went through books and myths and meeting people and reviewing history to find the perfect names for the babe. Constant debating with the stubborn lordling on what his perfect babes name should be.

While the babe is in your stomach, he settles for “squish” and “little love.”

“Hello my little love”

“What’s my little squish thinking about in there?”

“Why are you kicking your mama squish?”

“Can you believe your mama is eavesdropping on our conversations little love? What a busy body she is… that’s okay, we still love her more than we can describe, right little love?”

I’m weak

Also when you finally give birth to not just one, but two girls???

First off, Eris nearly passed out from the shock.

Second off, he was sobbing as the babes were laid down on your chest, smothering you with kisses all over your forehead and cheeks, thanking you over and over for the best thing that has ever happened to him.

And when he held his babes for the first time? He felt complete.

Some NSFW stuff (really not a lot) so MDNI 18+ only

Your scent is absolutely soothing to him later on during your pregnancy. Absolutely.

But those first five months????

This male was absolutely feral for you.

Like, you thought he was horny 24/7 prior to your pregnancy, think again.

Bending you over the couch before you had your belly bump, fucking you on the kitchen counter, splaying you across the floor right next to the hearth so he could devour your cunt.

It was fucking endless. Orgasm after orgasm. Climax after climax.

You could barely walk by the time he was through with you and that’s okay because he would just carry you bridal style to wherever you needed to be.

He loved grasping at your widening hips as you would ride him into oblivion

Constant palming and small squeezes at your swollen tits, he just fucking adored them.

Cumming in your cunt every time and tonguing it back in

Ugh, missing my girl dad Eris, I love him so much.

As always, please gimme some feedback with some likes, comments, and reblogs

@fieldofdaisiies

[ganondoodle]

fuck it, elden ring DLC rant (spoilers) (long post ... oh dear)

so, to start this- this is a very emotional reaction, so take everything with a ton of salT (i need to get this out of my system bc i need to go and do stuff today, i literally couldnt get much more than 3 hours of sleep bc my mind was racing) i only know two screenshots and what others have told me (thank you) so i might be missing more context and havent seen or read it myself

(more details and spoilers for the DLC below the read more thingy)

also, just to explain a bit, i dont usually get this upset about things i like, i like alot of things, but its RARE as fuck that i care, like actually care care about something, and that just kinda happens, i dont choose it or can decide to not care, i just do, and when something like this happens its like ... a sort of grief? i cant help but care about it but it messes with me emotionally, i have no control over it and cant change anything about it when it gets bad or done dirty, leavign me to just have to watch it be real even when i dont want to accept it-- i wouldnt say so much that i 'expect' somethign specific and cant handle when its not like that (common accusation about disliking totk)- and no i dont have somethign specific in mind, i just dont want it to be bad OR things that seem done and closed off suddendly out of nowhere be revealed to 'actually' have been like this, new stuff that either makes no sense or invalidates alot about what i valued about it, what i thought was the point

(i remember two .. my only two other intersts before- see what i mean RARE- that also went down simiarly like this; transformers (bay movies and mainly prime series, listen i didnt choose it either) with each movie it got more messy and stupid, primes second(?) season had an end i hated and the following movie was the final nail in the coffin- and one piece after that, which i slowly fell out of love with bc every chapter seemed to go more into a direction i didnt like, then the reveal that luffy is a god actually was my final ok i hate that moment)

i knew demise for a long time but wasnt obsessed about him at all, it took me learning about how hylia was depicted in a non canon (?) manga (which made me annoyed me bc i didnt like it and made a design for her to counter demises instead) and then reading his few lines of dialog about her again that it suddendly HIT me, like cupids arrow into my head-- i liked but wasnt that super interested into elden ring until radahn showed up, instantly his design made me go owo and then learning his (base game) lore it HIT me (i love sort of tragic side characters that might have been powerful or heroic at some point but now arent anymore- not saying he is that elden rings lore i messy and no ones good tm- and especially so if that character is widely hated for no good reason, dismissed or forgotten, has little lore etc)

i have things i like but dont care this much about, like okami or bloodborne, i like it alot, theres characters i really like (oki) but im not like, fixated on them?- and to have two at the same time, while not equally strong, i dont think i had before, and then have both be damaged or potentially lose it in a similar way within barely a year hurts so damn much--- anyway, getting into the actual rant now lol

so, to sum things up (that i know), in the elden ring DLC later on

miquella is actually a master manipulator and brainwasher (even to his sister???? which means alot of impactful things about his relationship to people is kinda invalidated or made meaningless, shitty)

he wanted to become a god by marrying radahn (his half? brother, same father) of all people that has never been mentioned before until now somehow?? ) you can argue it was hinted to but i find it completely out of left field

miquella sent malenia after radahn to kill him so he could be put into the realm of shadow so miquella could marry him (there were better candidates for that??)- its unclear (to me) if radahn ever actually accepted when sound of mind or even knew about it at all, but failed and he was isntead inflicted with rot to slowly waste away but not die (like he is in base game)

which also means that, what i found really impactful in base game, the festival of radahn, that i thought was a tragic sort of last wish/effort for of radahn to grant him an honorable death as a respected general after being made into mindless people eating zombie, organized by his soldiers/friends- might have been just yet another attempt to kill him and get him over there to miquella (and even if not, it still makes it way less impactful and now i feel like letting him continue to roam as a zombie is more of a favor than killing him bc hes just gonna a puppet again! which turns the whole tradgedy of the stuff in base game on its head imo)

you need to kill him to get into the DLC (and i was even sus of that but shrugged it off when i heard it ..) bc that way miquella could take whatever was left of his soul and stitch it into mohgs corpse?? (which is why hes so small in that DLC fight) bc his body was rotten by that point, which also allowed miquella to control radahn and make him agree, force him to do whatever miq wanted (which ALSO might mean mohg 'kidnapping' miquella wasnt that actually but mohg too was manipulated so oud kill him and make his remains usable)

radahn in DLC is a voiceless meat puppet essentially ... like a mindless rotting zombie eating friends and fow alike wasnt enough- also means that we never ACTUALLY GET OT KNOW RADAHN HIMSELF bc hes eithe a zombie or a literal puppet (if you are gonna do him dirty at least let us meet actual real him *cries*)

his fight is super hard apparently (though i have been hearing people complain about the entire DLC being too hard, while the -casual player- streamer i watched is beating main bosses so fast they dont even get to start their second phase) when his fight in base game, and him by extentsion, was also hated bc of that ALREADY, which means more people are gonna hate his guts (he doesnt deserve that!!) AND most people probably wont get or care that its not actually HIM him so its like a repeat boss that everyone hates

it feels weirldy forced in for it to be radahn (like miquella was already said to be one of the strongest gods out there .. why hed want radahn so badly when his goal seemed to be rather .. combat less?? if you get what i mean, and radahn also rejected him??? and the tarnished is right there too????) bc theres plenty others it would have worked with that are barely used- it feels like someone jsut wanting him to be tha main guy not matter what (when he worked so much better as a side character!!!!)

a tragic but well rounded off side character (imo) was made into the main guy this is all about actually tm (i generally dont like main guys and this jsut feels so .... it just hurts, it didnt feel foreshadowed at all, and its not even truly HIM that is reveal to be a creepy asshat but hes just manipulated and controlled with the whole time, be it by rot or miquella)

and for miquella its like, no theres no even mildly good people there, hes brainwashed and manipulated everyone actually tm, a giant plan all to force his half brother into marrying him by making him into a corpse puppet bc he rejected miquella- inlcuding potentially manipulating his own twin sister, which goes agaisnt what you learn of what hes done for her in the base game i think?? (not that much into that part but yeah ... it feels unfair to her too)

it also kinda just leaves other lore from the base game in the dust? like the whole haligtree plan, how miquella cared for the rejected (i guess he didnt then??? and it was just more manipulation tm??) that castle with the eclipse stuff

(is the gloom eyes queen, marika, and or st trina even .. important at all to any of this??)

ok from reading tweets from people talkign about it, miquella says radahn agreed apparently but whether thats true remains uncertain and given the circumstances i do not think radahn did- others said that it kinda sounds he agreed to something that he didnt think would involve him marrying miquella

everything feels like its in shambles for every fan of every involved chaarcter

yes i know you can argue that it was all planned from the start and meant to be a twist and everything and that people having a different idea of characters isnt the fault of the creators .... only to some degree bc why then build up make so much lore and story about stuff that turns out to be like saying 'actually it was all a lie' like its not valid to feel betrayed then, you can plan things out all you want but that doesnt mean it cant be bad oder underwhelming

(i wished to be able to meet or know more about radahn but like in a non rot way or like past flashback whatever kind of way and then not like this anyway, like i was interested into his relationship with jerren and just .. more about him i suppose the monkey paw has curled hasnt it -or however you say that-)

and there i was like two days ago going "omg radahn mention!!!" when that one .. feyja? NPC says she fought alongside him at some point ............................................................

leonard isnt there in the DLC to my knowledge, you know it cant be truly radahn if his horse isnt there (the sole reason he learned gravitiy magic for and it stayed with him even after the rot!!! i know people have started to hate it bc people love that but i love that, it made him so endearing to me, like a character i already found cool omg has a confirmed softer spot??? in MY fromsoftware title??)

sorry for the long post of rambling, i am a mess, barely slept 3 hours, yes i am weird to care, autisms or whatever .. i need to go somewhere in an hour and havent prepared as all bc i needed my thoughts out of my head- might have forgotten stuff, idk if i will add it later or just kinda .. stew in it for a while

(and yes a big point why i feel so strongly is both bc its just gonna make more people hate him even more AND feels so invalidating of alot of other stuff- pulls other characters down with it- the entire time i was watching the streams i and trailers i thought i was like, its onw thing, with miquellas littel adventure and more background info on marika mostly on its own from the base game BUT NO I GUESS)

(read all this in the sense of an utteraly disoriented confused and drunken seagull yelling around pls i am not in serious mental distress ..)

[sil-writes-fiction-too]

Twisted Little Games

Ascended Astarion x OC!Tav

Genre: pure angst. Dark content ahead

CW: depictions of physical abuse, abusive relationship, bodily harm, suggestive content

A/N: This is my entry for Day 21 of June of Doom. The prompt, this time around, is "stairs" ( @juneofdoom ). I dedicate this piece to @wolfhunter89, without whom this probably wouldn't have existed in the first place. Thank you for allowing me to write about Arwen and to put her through hell whenever my lizard brain says it's time for angst. This is for our Bad Ending series :,)

Blood red eyes stared back at him through the mirror as he admired himself, turning his body and his face this way and that. Gods, he would never get tired of seeing his own reflection. Especially when clad in such exquisite and expensive clothes. So beautiful, so regal, so... perfect. And the screams of agony coming from somewhere deep inside his palace just tied everything together in a perfect little bow. Sounded like dinner. He chuckled to himself at that thought, as if there was anything to laugh about. Well... there was for him, at least, and nothing else really mattered, did it?

“Ugh, beautiful...” he uttered to himself as he turned once again, almost mesmerized by his own appearance. Ah, but marveling at his own beauty wasn't the only use for his mirrors, no... Staring at his reflection had a way of helping him put his thoughts into order. Why, some of his best ideas popped up while he was standing in front of the beautifully framed looking glass. The events of the last few months replayed in his mind one by one as he fixed the embroidered collar of his shirt. It sickened him to admit it, but he had been feeling... less than perfect, for quite some time after the defeat of the Absolute.

Arwen's betrayal was something he could easily face when all of his energies were focused on surviving and putting an end to the elder brain's grand design. When he could still see her every day even if she refused to speak to him. He found her incredibly childish. She was just having a temper tantrum and refusing to see that what he did was for them. Well, sure, it was first and foremost for him, but he thought they were a package deal! Instead she looked at him as if he was the one to betray her. The gull of that woman! Still, he thought it would pass, that she would see to reason and crawl back to him once she had time to think it all over. But no, her decision was final and she did not care how wrong it was. Once the Absolute was defeated she made it more than clear to him that she never wanted to see him again. And she kept her word... at least for a little while.

He knew she couldn't stay away for too long. Gods, she was obsessed with him. Never mind that she came with a group of adventurers ready to kill off his spawns, or that she looked genuinely surprised when she found out her targets were his little puppets. The look of hatred on her face meant nothing when he could feel the tension rolling off of her body in waves as soon as she finally saw him again... As soon as he was close to her again. It meant even less when, each time they met after that, her threats and attempts to end his life were accompanied by nights of pure, unbridled passion. The hatred-fueled lust between them inevitably guiding them from the battlefield to the bedroom, sometimes his, most times hers, time and time again. What was once soft and sensual had turned into a fight in itself. Bodies entangling with each other between the sheets, rolling over one another in a battle for dominance while nails and teeth left nasty marks on pale skin, and hips ground down harshly to carve a path of blinding pleasure and mind-numbing bliss into the blood-thirsty loathing they both felt for each other. It was only a matter of time before she would be his again.

And his she became.

He had offered his gift to her time and time again after each of their meetings, but that was usually when she would get up from bed and take her leave or send him away. She was adamant in her refusal, so the situation became clear to him rather quickly... Asking her just wasn't going to work. And why would he even waste more of his time asking? He could simply take. He didn't need permission to do anything, not anymore. If only she was smart enough to accept his gracious offer this would've been much less unpleasant, but once again she had to do things her way. All it took was one bite. Really, she should've expected him to do something like this. In his mind, he suspected she did... and yet she still couldn't stop him. How pathetic. She even had the audacity to get angry at him after, to curse at him and try to claw at his face as her body changed in front of his self-satisfied gaze. She would learn to love him again.

But her adjustment period was taking quite long, huh? A little huff escaped Astarion's lips as he placed his hands on his hips. Stubborn, stubborn girl... No matter how many times he punished her, how many times he tried to break her resolve, she kept defying him in any way she could, which weren't many, considering the bond of blood they now shared. However, credit should be given where credit is due, and Arwen had been behaving particularly well that week. She had back-talked to him only twice and it had taken her much less time than usual to follow his orders, even if it meant hurting an innocent. Perhaps she was finally starting to realize what her place was, and it was with him, standing obediently by his side. His consort.

It's as these thoughts swirled in his mind that a metallic glint flashed through the mirror. His sharp eyes narrowed and he whirled around, catching Arwen's wrist in mid air and slamming her face-first against the mirror with a growl. The glass cracked under her reflection-less visage and her dagger clattered to the ground when her grip loosened in surprise. The shock and the sudden pain made her yelp in a way he had never heard from her. It made his skin burn hot.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk... I knew you were behaving all too well. Oh, pet... You didn't think that just because you have no reflection I don't know you're there, did you? You disappoint me... You used to be an infallible assassin.” He hissed in her ear with a scowl, holding her arms behind her back with a tight, bruising grip. “Did you seriously think you could kill me? How stupid can you be...?” He gently nuzzled his nose against her neck, ghosting his lips over the scars he left there a long time ago.

As the moment of fear passed, Arwen's face hardened again, twisting in an expression of pure hatred and disgust, laced with disappointment for her failed attempt. When all her more elaborate attempts hadn't worked she thought a simpler approach might do the trick instead... but she was wrong. And there was no telling what Astarion would do to her then. “Let me go you bastard.” She spat out, her voice laced with venom as she struggled against his grip. Not so long ago she would've easily knocked him on the ground. She should've killed him when they first met like she had wanted to.

He chuckled darkly, tightening his grip instead. “No, I don't think I will, pet... I will let you go when I damn well feel like it. Just to be curious, what was your plan after killing me? You were gonna leave and... what then? What life can you possibly hope to live out there? There's no tadpole to save you now... There's nothing for you out there but pain and suffering, darling. Only I can give you the life you deserve, do you still not get it?” He turned her around and grabbed her chin firmly, staring into her eyes as he held her close to his body in a way that made it impossible for her to escape. Perhaps the one thing he regretted about turning her was not being able to look into her green eyes anymore. Red looked lovely on her, naturally, but that green... It haunted his dreams and filled him with bitter nostalgia.

She scoffed at his audacity, curling her lips in disgust and almost snarling at him. Unfortunately for her, the sight of her fangs only excited him more. “This life is already all pain and suffering, Astarion! I'd rather take my chances out there than stay stuck in here, rotting away with you!” She trembled with rage, balling her hands into fists as she stared up at him.

Once upon a time her words would've cut deep into him, and he might've even felt shame over his actions... but now? The only thing he felt was disdain and anger. How dare she? After all he had done for her, for them! Sometimes he wondered if she even was worth being kept alive. It would've been so easy to snuff her out like a candle. She was no more than a traitor, right? But when he looked down at her, he saw the rarest gem, his precious treasure. His to claim, his to keep. She didn't get to come into his life, have him fall in love with her and then leave him when he finally claimed the power he deserved! No, she had sealed her fate when they had given themselves to each other. She had claimed she could handle him even at his worst, had she not? She couldn't take it all back now just because she didn't get to have her way! She was his... and he had no intention to let her go. Still, the anger boiled inside him and the desire to punish her grew stronger. So she thought she could survive on her own outside of the palace? They would see about that...

“Is that so...? You seem confident in your ability, don't you?” He chuckled in amusement, almost cooing at her mockingly. “Fine... Let's play a game, what do you say?” Astarion grabbed her by her hair, tugging firmly at her blond tresses as he dragged her outside of the room. Her complaints fell on deaf ears as he walked through the corridors of the palace. “If you think life outside of the palace is so great then why don't you give it a try, mh? See how far you get before you crawl back to me.”

Arwen looked up at Astarion with wide eyes, completely taken off guard by his words. “What...?”

An amused smirk pulled at his lips, and he stopped right atop the flight of stairs that led to the main entrance. “I'll loosen up your leash, pet. I'll let you get a little taste of that 'freedom' you keep going on about. I'll give you half a day, and then I'll come get you.” His tone turned sinister right at the end, his eyes glinting maliciously in the darkness. “If you're even still alive, that is...” he said with a chuckle. “Half a day... and then you better pray you hid your tracks well enough.” The clear threat in his words made a shiver run down the half-elf's back. Before she could respond, a scream was ripped from her throat as Astarion threw her down the entire flight of stairs, tossing her as if she was nothing more than a bag of trash. A searing pain shot up her leg, earning him another shriek as her ankle smashed against one of the marble steps and she rolled to the feet of the stairs. She cursed loudly then, holding her injured ankle as she let out a sob. She looked up at him with an accusing glare even through the thick tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes.

He all but laughed at her, placing a hand on his hip. “Well, I wouldn't want to give you too much of an advantage, darling, be sensible.” He said matter-of-factly as he stared down at her in amusement. “Now go, before I change my mind.” he added sharply.

Despite the pain, Arwen scrambled to her feet and limped out of the palace as fast as she could, now wanting to get away from him even more than a few moments prior. She could make it out there, she was sure of it. Even if it meant spending the rest of her life on the run, anything was better than being held prisoner in that hell-house. She had to make this chance count.

Astarion looked on as his consort stumbled out the doors into the streets, his face now void of all emotion as he silently counted down from ten. She had really thought he would let her escape just like that...? When had his love become so naive? He had no intention of losing sight of her for half a day, no... He would follow her from the shadows, observing her following moves until the time he allowed her was up. Who knows... this might've proven entertaining. Not to mention he was already thinking of the crestfallen face she would make when he'd step out from the shadows to take her back. What a delicious thought... almost as tantalizing as the thought of what would happen once he finally brought her back home. Perhaps playing cat and mouse with her would make her disobedience worth it.

[carmenized-onions]

review

chip is the biggest fourth wall breaker and i love it for her - time is definitely linear 100% we didn’t just read a tenet vibe flashback forward around and sideways episode that isn’t what happened?

her and carmy are so skinny not breaking the counter

any shoes left undropped? oh how i love your continued motifs

BEFORE YOU KNEW ME YOU CALLED ME CARMY???? completely and utterly feral. she found him charming!!! teehee. she is such a tumblr girl #parasocialrelationshipvibes

she found him charming teehee

chip is simultaneously the second most awkward and the least awkward and carmy is consistently the most awkward

okay the car incident was a month ago, good to know because the fever dreams are ongoing

promised to ask you out (when he’s mentally stable) LOL WHENS THAT HAPPENING

god you are so good at talking about throats i never knew that the feeling of someone’s throat could make me feel emotions

HE IS A MORON oh my god but he isn’t a bad guy (tumblr needs to see this after their comments on season 3 carmy)

carmy i beg do the fucking work i need you two to have sex now x

i love the way i can’t exactly tell who’s thoughts these are/ the respective it’s being written from - like some lines are so chip then some are so carmy and some are also giving me michael vibes (could be completely off parr with this and you didn’t intend for me to read into it this much).

for example

- [ ] “you squint like he’s a moron” is so chip, but then the “he is” is so mikey

- [ ] and then the “of course you want him to change” is so carmy and the “he sucks” is so mikey

stop thinking about food carmy oml wrap it up,

oh carmy you could definitely be better but

NO CHIP YOU COULD NOT BE BETTER NEVER ACCEPT DEFEAT “insert rodrick saying deny deny deny”

jk chip is a flawed character but also so likeable and that’s why we love her

the peoples princess did go hard to be fair this is so random but my ex boyfriend always said i was a fixer like chip but he never called me the peoples princess and the reason why is insane… HE DIDNT KNOW WHO PRINCESS DIANA WAS. bear in mind this boy was a fucking genius, going to one of the hardest degrees at a very good school and we are both british how in hell do you not know who princess diana is you fucking weirdo

i knew he was a making a dish in his head, and what does he do, go and prove me right and make a dish in his head

ITS EASIER TO MAKE THINGS WHEN THEY ARE FOR YOU,,,,, ABOUT YOU WTF

me with a chronic nail biting problem and a therapist 👁️👄👁️

you are both little morons i need richie (ideally mikey but that’s obvs no possible) to come and tell you this

finally they are back in sync

this proving yourself thing is kind of crazy but it’s also carmen so EVENTUALLY THANK GOD

it is definitely weird to have the same therapist

the cat analogy is so good i feel it in my bones

i would say i love you tbf, too soon but she was MIKEYS PICK

such a cat response

i’m glad we have reaffirmed that she will still work there because i need to see this happen

with you??? wtf do you mean you two need labels istg

he has receipts like idk what to tell you it’s fucking carmy and when it comes to chip he’s finna be in the pit (be prepared)

my reaction to carmy v fields…. oh yeah:

- THIS IS TOO GOOD WTAF

- i needed this. i needed this so fucking much

- WALK HIM LIKE A FUCKING DOG

- THIS WAS ON THE FUCKING ROADTRIP - GOD I WISH I WAS THERE RVEN FUCKING MORE WYG

-GOD YOU ARE SO FUCKING CHEKHOVS GUN

- i was chilling with dirty details and NOW ITS THIS YOU ARE AMAZING

- head of the head of the head IN THEIR HEADS

- PROZAC RIDDLED FUCKS LIKE ME… are you actually on prozac… no?

- WHY IS FAK BERE?? GO FUCKING HOME

- best friend FAK? we will talk about best friend fak later

- i love this website commentary- i had to make a website once and it was the worst experience of my life

- of course chip would learn web design

- GET HIM CARMEN FUCKINF GET HIS ASSSSSS

- WE DONT PLAY IN CHICAGO (this is so my city vs london in the uk)

- ROAD TRIP SQUAD OH MY FUCKING GOD

- i was wondering what he meant by dusty and dead… i get it now

- tip your servers and don’t ask for their numbers

- one thing richie believes is fuck the feds (even the paramedics)

*deep breath*,,, moving on

they need to kiss rn like they just do while he imagines food she imagines drinks. i would say i love you? so just fucking say it AND FUCKING KISS ALREADY

your writing, like it really is fucking amazing

oh my god

THEY KISSED TEEHEE TEHEE I AM LITERALLY KICKING MY FEET

i love the bear fandom all uniting on the fact that carmy likes having his hair pulled. like there is one consistency across all fanfictions and it is that carmy will whine when someone pulls on his hair

*chekovs gunshot* she gets headaches when she smokes, she likes the taste of his mouth, he wants to fly her to paris. these were all in one sentence YOU ARE TOO GOOD

“I want you to be permanent and carved in my tables and I want you to wear my jackets and I want you in my kitchen and in my menu and in every dumb fucking conversation I have at Christmas tellin’ family what the fuck I’m doing— I want you in every sentence.”

i’m going to do a full analysis on this… this is fucking literature i don’t know what else to say.

FAK GO AWAY I WANT THEM TO FUCK COME ON DUDE

another thing consistently in the best fanfic. carmen is a biter

the mood is not dead FUCK ALREADY

i was so worried the vibe ending would be the end of the chapter and i would have cried THANKYOU FOR WRITING SO MUCH I LOVE YOU AND YOUR RIDICULOUS WORD COUNTS

SYD IS HER OLD CAT, this is why her and carmy are so good as coworkers

you are genuinely unbelievable

“get your weird little hands off my chip you perv “they’re not weird little hands” “why is that what you dispute” they are children

i don’t feel that i can really say anything on how you wrote the scene of richie and chip after because it cannot suffice in saying how good you are at this

go away dee dee i just got a smudge of happiness

oh sugar how i’ve missed you

the. first. christmas. without. mikey.

only the girls who babysat get chip

fucking rich boy carmy thinks he’s bad now he got payed. OKG I SAID THIS BEDORE I RVEN READ THE CHARMIN LINE WE ARE THE SAME (jk you are better than me)

he wants her soooo bad

OH MY GOD. she is making him watch ratatouille. carmen you literally are a weird rat . like you are THE WEIRD RAT

of course she’s a makeup cleansing balm user that is my queen bitch. also she wants to wear converse she’s so cringe i love her

he wants her on his team!?!!

aw he’s thinking a normal carmy amount like he’s helping her plan outfits and he’s ensuring they include her accent colour so say yes to being on his team pls

yeah carmy wants the apron to be easy to take off too LOL

richie the certified on god boy

you are the queen of stupid and meaningless (not stupid at all) stuff that is actually very meaningful

he is so big brother energy (richie)

the younger siblings taking turns to sit in the console i love this it is so real

they say they’ll be happy about it but they’ll curse you behind your back

you recognise all of it. it’s nearly enough to make you cry. - ouch

HE RAN INTO MY KNIFE. HE RAN INTO MY KNIFE 10 TIMES

AND DONE

this chapter was the emotional relief i needed fuck

YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT FUCKING TIME IT IS!!!!!!!

sometimes. we simply need a reminder that time is linear LMAO. listen. is it fourth wall breaking or just dissasocciation? Maybe both. Maybe it's mabelliyne.

NOT SKINNY LMAOOO as a plus size girl, I truly was considering writing in somewhere a moment of Chip awkwardly having to crawl up on the counter (how do people do just jump on the thing? i do not have that power)

I fear I'll never let go of my shoe motif. I fear I'll actually never let it drop.

Parasocial Chip my beloved,,, man I gotta write blurbs of her in her crush era when she didn't know Carm yet. SOMEONE REQUEST IT How are you NOT supposed to find this Denmark Virgin with a LOT of jean jackets hot??!?!?! he's charming!!! also you're BOTH losing at the not-awkward-lympics.

i truly have to reastablish the timeline by saying 'month ago' because if i dont i will truly forget where we are in time. i'm almost certain i've gotten dates wrong anyways. it's fine, the revisions will fix it alright it's fine.

THANK YOU I TRY TO TALK ABOUT THROATS IN A FUN WAY. I guess honestly I feel emotional in my throat, when I get emotional. Like. If I get mad or sad or guilty, it sort of closes up a bit? Feels hollow? And did I assume everyone's throat does that? yeah possibly. but it worked out.

i do NOT engage in da tumblr discourse much, esp when it comes to hating characters in general, but I hope everyone has eased up on my boy since taking a step back. Man is going through a lot. I also just think like man, I have certainly not been the most cognizant of other's needs when I'm in a stage or high stress fight or flight--- And certainly if those needs aren't made clear--- dog, I'm doublin down!!! that's truly the biggest difference I think with CK and The Bear diverging--- We communicate in dis house.

LMAOOOOO I DID FORGET WHILE REREADING THAT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT NOTE YOU DEMANDED THEY FUCK, yeah that's fair. I keep thinking it's gonna happen and pushing it honestly. these assholes are gonna get married before they get down with it, good lord. someone get them a room that isn't a bathroom.

also this Mikey thing. with the thoughts. was honestly so mindblowing. I know that's weird because I'm the writer, but I see what you're saying completely!! I've always had this weird style of like, second persion omniscient where it's Chip but sometimes I move in terms of the stream of consciousness to being her or someone else or no one; and the idea of that stream of consciousness being by in part, Mikey?? OHHHHH OHHHHHH BABBYYYY Totally puts so much stuff in a different context and I love it. canon it. canon it. i didn't come up with it but canon it.

DENY !! DENY!! CHIP THAT'S NOT YOU IN THE PHOTO!! I'm so glad people think chip is flawed. I know that's literally insane to say but I've had this horrific habit of categorizing flaws in my head as 'good flaws' and 'bad flaws', and 'good flaws' are the ones that make everyone elses life better and your life worse.

so.

need to seek a therapist about that a little bit. C

INSANE TO BE ALIVE LET ALONE BRITISH AND NOT KNOW WHO LADY DI IS???? but yknow what home boy probably wouldn't even be creative enough to say 'peoples' princess' as a diss. carmen/me ate with that.

when is this fucker not cooking. it's like that scene in Tick Tick Boom but romantic and NOT sad and bad. IT'S NICE TO BE THE ARTIST AND ARTIST AND MUSE AND MUSE ALRIGHT it's frankly my ideal relationship

bro i RIP my free edge of my nails off all the time when they get too long, and pick at my cuticle skin. I feel you. I dont have a therapist just yet but I feel you.

If Mikey was still alive to see his OTP happen, I truly don't know how he'd react. I think he'd be losing his mind in silence. Like has to put his fist in his mouth so he doesn't scream and ruin it.

I'm so glad the cat analogy was good, while writing it I was like "i wonder if this is anything" i'm glad it's something.

Fields v Berzatto was fun to write. It's what I think, if he was hyped up enough, what Carmen would do after having that S3 Finale talk with Fields. Like very much so when you leave an interaction and you're at home hours later like FUCK. i could've said this and this and this and this. And this is his moment to do so!!

Website talk truly comes from me having to make my own portfolio 3 separate times. I hated it. No one ever make me update my shit again.

I AM chekov's gun, but also it's just plot. i think we're just talking about plot progression LMAO

FELLAS IS IT CRAZY TO TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM BEFORE YOU'VE EVEN BEEN DATING FELLAS? FELLAS ANSWER ME. FELLAS.

the "i'm going to do a full analysis... i don't know what to say" made me laugh so fucking hard. continuing on. NEIL 'COCKBLOCK' FAK EVERYONE, thank you neil for once again saving me from having to write intimacy, you're my hero

man if i need to end at 20 chapters like i'm goaling to, THESE CHAPTERS NEED TO BE LONGGG I HAVE TO GIVE SO MUCH. so. this pattern of ridiculous word counts continues.

the two cats!! feline gang. get your PAWS off MY CHIP!!!

Can I just. so briefly touch on. I know my timeline is off in CK, because I think it's May/March 2023 in S3? Can't remember. It was dated in episode 2. But like. I am so mad about this. Because that means they skipped/didn't acknowledge:

November 15th, Mikey's birthday, first one without him. (Which, fun fact, and incidental, timeline wise in CK, this would probably be the day Carmen/Chip met since it's mid-late December for them?)

The First Christmas Without Mikey.

AND February 22nd, his Death Anniversary. are you fucking KIDDING ME? WE JUST SKIPPED ALL OF THIS IN THE RENO SKIPS? ARE YOU FUCKING JOSHING ME? THESE ARE SUCH INTEGRAL MOMENTS. NOW I HAVE TO MAKE EM UP MYSELF?!?!?! HELP ME OUT STORER PLEASE.

anyways. carmen thing's he's bad or wtv. too bad he's a weird rat.

i think carmen honestly loves dress up. like he owned so many jean jackets and jeans and also lived in denmark and New York. Like. he'd love to style Chip, truly. also wants her to be on his team and have an easily removable apron but that's neither here nor there.

I love stupid and meaningless that is deep with meaning!!! that's my memo baby that's my number!!

HE RAN INTO MY KNIFEEEEEE WATCH THE TAPES BACK HE KIND OF DID.

I would say more, but I HAVE to go put together chapter 15 and put it out for you. this is all to say thank you so much for your thoughts i remember reading them in the morning and gigglin and being late for work. good times. i always love to read your brain!!

[animebw]

So the live action One Piece is really, really good.

I know, far from the first person to say it. But it really must be stressed how absolutely bonkers it is that One Piece, of all anime properties, is what breaks the live-action adaptation curse in the West. So many attempts at adapting far more live-action friendly stories like Death Note and Cowboy Bebop ended up complete disasters, and yet it's perhaps the most unabashedly cartoonish anime franchise, the one defined by how it takes advantage of drawing and animation to portray people, places and things that would be completely unfeasable in the real world, that shows how to translate this medium to live action without losing what makes it special in the first place. It's not a perfect adaptation, but it pretty much nails everything it needs to, capturing the heart of this story in all its most important moments and making smart changes that serve its new form as a binge-worthy Netflix drop. So let's talk about the things I liked, the few areas I think it fell short, and how I think future seasons should play out! Spoilers, obviously.

The Good:

-The most important thing to get right was the casting, and they nailed it: all the Straw Hats and their supporting cast are just about perfect. Inaki Godoy just is Luffy, Emily Rudd does a fantastic job shouldering the season's core emotional weight as Nami, Vincent Regan steals the show every time Garp is on screen, and Jeff Ward is an absolute riot as Buggy. Special shout-out as well to Morgan Davies for nailing Koby's expanded screen time.

-Speaking of, I love how Koby and Helmeppo's title-card story is fleshed out into a proper B-plot throughout this season. Following their journey under Garp's command is a perfect way to introduce us to the Navy's inner workings and the more explicitly political side of the story up front, as well as foreshadowing plenty of future story beats to come.

-The action. Is. So. Good. Thank god we're finally remembering how to film proper hand-to-hand brawls, cause every punch-up is a blast to watch.

-Luffy actually has more of an arc here than he does in the manga! Manga Luffy can be a pretty static character a lot of the time, which I know is kind of his appeal, but this adaptation gives him a bit more to work with as he grapples with the responsibility of being a captain and the consequences his mistakes can have for his crew.

-Seriously Buggy is so fucking funny they nailed him so perfectly

-Putting more of a focus on Nami's struggles throughout the season was a great way to give it more structure for a binge format. Her emotional journey is really the heart of this adaptation as we watch her go from a paraniod recluse to fully embracing the Straw Hats as her new family.

-One benefit to being live action and produced in America? Way, way less casual sexism. Dare I hope that future seasons will avoid ruining Sanji's character among other pitfalls Oda fell into? Fingers crossed!

-The production design is immaculate. It strikes the perfect balance between the wacky cartoonishness of One Piece's world and the demands of filming in live action.

-Fantastic soundtrack too! It knows just where to deploy instrumental renditions of We Are while charting its own musical identity.

The Bad

-Some of the dialogue is a liiiiiiittle cringey? I know dialogue has never been OP's strongest suit, but there are definitely a few moments that feel overly anachronistic and "how do you do fellow kids?" There's a moment Buggy jokes about toxic fandom that really made me roll my eyes (especially since the OP fandom has by and large really embraced this adaptation, so it comes off like a cheap shot at a demographic of haters that doesn't even really exist).

-While the camerawork and editing are pretty great, the color grading is very much... not. Can we please stop shooting everything in boring desaturated yellows and greys and start lighting our night scenes so we can actually see what's going on?

-Shockingly, it's the strongest parts from the manga- the backstories- that I feel suffered the most here. Some of that's due to most of the child actors not being that great, which, well, that's a risk you take with child actors. But it also cuts out a lot of the personal culpability that made a lot of those backstories so compelling? Like how Sanji used to be pretty wasteful with food until his experience stranded on an island taught him how important it was to respect every bite? That aspect of his character is completely missing in his flashback here.

-Hoo boy, they made some... choices with how they depicted Arlong's crew. I know the Fishmen are a big racism/discrimination metaphor, but between the trap music that plays whenever they show up, their overall "urban gangsta" fashion aesthetic and the design of Arlong Park, the fact Arlong himself is played by a black actor... there is some coding going on here, is my point. And considering how much I hated the direction this story arc went in Fishman Island, that does not give me confidence in this adaptation's ability to escape sucking just as much on that front.

Future Season Wish List:

Season 2: The Alabasta saga, starting with the arrival at Roguetown and ending with Vivi's send-off

Season 3: The Water Seven saga, maybe with a brief stop in Skypiea beforehand but not long enough to get bogged down in there like the manga did

Season 4: Possibly controversial, but I think this should take us to the timeskip. Spend an episode or two in Thriller Bark but cut out all the bullshit, one episode in Sabaody for the Shit Gets Real(tm) section, one episode in Amazon Lily, then onto Impel Down and the Marineford showdown, with one episode dedicated to the fallout of that battle and getting us to the timeskip.

Season 5: Big focus here should be Dressrosa IMO. If you must spend some time in Fishman Island then do it, probably don't need that much time in Punk Hazard since barely anything happens there, then get into the thick of Dressrosa.

Season 6: This should be the Wano season. One episode in Zou, maybe a couple in Whole Cake Island to set up Big Mom, (honestly we might not even need the extra Sanji backstory if this adaptation gets rid of his worst traits), then get straight into Wano so you have all the time you need for all those moving parts. Also, Gear 5 Luffy in live-action should just be him turning into his anime self Roger Rabbit style. Tell me that wouldn't rule.

[sagemoderocklee]

do you have any behind the scenes commentary on kado?

ok bts for kado... i honestly wasn't excpecting this so im trying to gather my thoughts which is hard rn post work...

so its possible ive talked about this before but i was very specific in the way i structured kado. i based the structure on Ikebana itself. so it could ONLY be 3 chapters (based on the Seika* style which didn't make it as a chapter title) and each chapter could ONLY have 9 scenes (based on the Rikka style of Ikebana).

if there's one thing im NOT it's good at shorter stories, but by god did i fight tooth and nail to get that story told in 3 9-scene long chapters. and it worked! i think challenging myself like that was honestly a lot of fun for me, and i think the story hit all the beats it needed to without dragging. i think sometimes with modern AUs especially they can kinda drag on with the like everyda and mundane, and like that CAN be good, but it's all in the execution and im not generally good at the execution of that sort of thing (which is often why i struggle with modern AUs).

i also picked the title kado (way of flowers) as a nod to nindo...

this isn't much and i may have already talked about this ages ago, so another thing for the bts...

Tenten was very obviously in on the arrangement Lee special ordered at the end of ch2 as his way of confessing to Gaara, but she was also the one to point out to Lee that he was completely smitten with Gaara. Lee was always visiting Gaara and he'd always come back over the moon, and Tenten teased Lee about his very obvious crush, which of course Lee denied but ya know once she'd said it... so Tenten was a guiding force for both Lee and Gaara in them getting together. And she was so pissed off at Gaara for all the obvious reasons, but also because she was feelin guilty for encouraging Lee when she thought Gaara had just broken his heart. Neji was definitely present, and he and Tenten helped Lee research the flowers to pick for his lil love confession to Gaara.

obviously after lee and gaara get together tenten is very happy about all this, but she and neji absolutely do give gaara hell for like the first couple months cause they aren't ready to believe he's not gonna hurt Lee again (gai is a LOT more gracious because of the ikebana piece gaara made and gai seeing a reflection of gaara's character in it). but neji and tenten give gaara the cold shoulder a lot and make very very subtle comments from time to time--nothing too obvious that lee would catch on, and gaara never says anything cause he understands they're being protective, but it doesn't make the first few months of them dating easy. and referencing the ask i got earlier, gaara and lee def do go on double dates with Sakura and Ino in this particular AU, and when Shikamaru and Temari finally get together them too. and when tenten and neji stop giving gaara such a hard time. they NEVER go on doubles with kankuro and hinata but they obviously do all hang out.

and Lee is Gaara's plus one to chouji's wedding.

i hope that's a fun lil bts for you anon! thanks for asking!

*from the wikipedia on Ikebana: Seika (生花, 'pure flowers') style consists of only three main parts, known in some schools as ten ('heaven'), chi ('earth'), and jin ('human'). It is a simple style that is designed to show the beauty and uniqueness of the plant itself. Formalisation of the nageire style for use in the Japanese alcove resulted in the formal shoka style.

[upn-the-sky]

Give me God of War!! (Ares OOAK, Part 1)

okay, you know, how craft works.

One day you've just become attached to GOW with ropes and tears. Another day you've decided in your head that you can't breath without any figure from this game.

You probably buy Kratos action figure (as I did) and probably feel yourself satisfied because your money are safe now (as I thought too! I can't have armored Kratos on his olympic throne, cause I don't have a third kidney, sadly, so I was very pleased with a little god Kratos figure (Neca). After fixing up paint on his face, I look at him and think ohw, you are gorgeous :зззззз).

So, you are moving forward, replay or rewatch god of war games, especially the first games... you are fine.

UNTIL you decide that you are an adept, who stans GOW Ares. You fire up this dump and can't live your life without Ares doll. Idol. I-doll.

If you are me, then you can understand. As Ares said, flesh burns, bones breaks, but putting man into making a custom doll is what truly destroys him. So I hugged my family to increase my level of rage and started. Now you can go under the cut

Actually, I wouldn't do it, but there is no GOW Ares figures in this cruel world at all. Sadly! He is beautiful red-haired war baby, isn't he?

And I like his original design more than the one we have in Ascension. (Althought I like his non-armored outfit (red chiton) from Ascension concept arts, which wasn't used). Anyway, if we want to have our own god of war, we have one way to figure it out.

Personally I've seen only one Ares OOAK in the internet. It was at Neca Kratos base and it was kinda fine. There was completely re-sculpted head, but the body was without any changes. Kratos in his slut era (thank you tumblr, you are the best) was really scraggy, so Ares with his thin waist looked funny 😅.

Well, anyway, Ares wasn't a thin reed and loved to hunch over, so we need to be canon.

I would say, I am not an OOAKer at all, I've just customized my own ball-joined dolls a couple of times, and I say it straightly, making Ares bjd would be nice, but it probably turns out to an endless torture for me and my finances. So for the base I decided to chose 1/6 scale action figure. I needed to harvest a head and a body. It is going to be a re-sculpted hybrid anyway, so we can ignore color difference and stuff. Yes, I devoted my heart and aliexpress account to Ares 🥲

Whoever recognized the head donor actor, well done x) A bit of alcohol and nail cutter for the eyes (it's varnish was undestructible, holy shit..) will manually wipe out his personality forever, bye

Beautiful face. But totally needs to be reworked. Ares has unique face features like a round forehead, wide mouth, full upper lip and a bit potato, but still hellenic nose (isn't it precious? 💕). Honestly I think Santa Monica made him really pleasing and beautiful man in his mature ages. He is not old, but you feel that he is not young too already.

So I took out my Ares iconostasis, which allows me to absorb his beauty from all angles, and started a portrait sculpting.

It was a little hell, but after letting all changes dry, I sanded it and tinted head using airbrush so it will be able to match a body color. Quick matching test:

Nice?

As you can see, both body and head has a good tan skintone. And I know, Ares in GOW1 is as pale as Kratos.

Why am I not tinted him in ashy grey color? 1) It is night in a game, colors are faded because of it, 2) I tried and it looked messy, really... 3) I headcanon that both Ares and Kratos have the same reason for that: Ares is covered in ashes too. But Ares is not cursed, he is like.. always in contact with fire.

So I think that under this grey dust Ares has classic olive skin, same as Kratos. That's why I leave my Ares as if he was washed in a bath and get tidy like he is going to visit Aphrodite's chamber 💫. Anyway if I want to, I just can use photo filters to change it.

Okay, things become serious now.

We've finally reached to the face up.. And my working table lies in ruins and not usable anymore because of the fucking mess after previous steps.

God dammit on me and every single hair I drew in his eyebrows, but I have to say, it was really exciting to paint him. Finally give him his own gaze, brighten up his lips and cheeks. I didn't want to make him an angry bitch. Because he is not this person for me, neither in myths, nor in the game. He is a god, who lived through a lot of mortal lives and has seen a different kinds of.. chaos you know. OG Kratos is an infant compared to him I mean if you think of amount of past experience Ares has. Imho, he wasn't even truly angry at Kratos in GOW1. So I painted his expression how I feel and interpret his main emotional tone. Ares can be purely wrathful, but wrath is not cynical. That's what i think of him.

Okay, when the god became able to truly look after me, I couldn't hesistate and started to made the most iconic feature of him. His flaming hair and beard.

And I'll say it if you don't. I absolutely ❤ adore ❤ his red tousled mane ❤ .

(Just imagine Aphrodite tugging it or brushing, or just bury her face in his hair, because she knows that he will never burn her with his flames. I want to draw this now...)

I wanted his hair to be soft, easily combed and glowing without any electric lights. Gladly I've worked with a doll hair for a long time already.

Earlier I didn't cut off all of plastic hair from the head, only changed hairline by moving it a bit upper from his forehead. It was a part of the plan from the beginning. For the dolls I usually use very thin wool, and plastic mold will provide needed volume for his front combed strands. Screenshots before the eyes, two days of straggling (I wanted all hair to be removable without damaging varnish on his face) and we finally done.

And honestly I don't even want to shorten his hair. He is a perfection.

(Sorry for the empty juice bottle, I will set him on a body later)

Thank you for watching.

Skeletor will return soon with Part 2, where we will create his iconic armor. Well, I hope it will be soon. As soon as I have donors for a dog heads 🥲 He really loved Cerberus.

[rocketbirdie]

MASSIVE dump of thoughts about Rebirth. Obvious major spoiler warning for pretty much every story beat aside from side quests. That goes for the compilation as a whole.

Think of this as a collection of what would otherwise be literally hundreds of separate obnoxious text posts. Half-review, half liveblogging. Genuine praises and criticisms interspersed with unhinged nonsense. This post is so long it's making my computer lag, so make of that what you will.

To keep it organized and make it easier to find specific moments, this is split up chapter by chapter. I cover the Zack/Biggs stuff in a separate section just before the final chapter, and then follow up with some miscellaneous thoughts.

I'm not of hardcore OG FFVII faith. I love the original, and I view it as separate from Remake/Rebirth, so I embrace most of the major changes. This is generally a very positive review, aside from a few nuisances *cough cough WHISPERS cough* and only one genuinely upsetting letdown. Rebirth is more than I could ever have asked for, and I can't wait to spend the next 4+ years obsessively gushing about it. And now, without further ado...!

Chapter 1: Fall of a Hero (The Nibelheim Incident)

NAILED it.

Love seeing Cloud's teenage squishiness scrambled together with the Zack mannerisms. Restless as a little puppy! Body language, facial expressions, etc. I wonder if they animated a lot of it with Zack's model first, and then replaced it with Cloud? Modders are gonna have a field day with this when the PC version drops.

Sephiroth really was just Some Guy, huh? It's very refreshing to see him acting fully human for once. Helps sell the catastrophic mental shitshow that ensues.

Horfin' down those sandwiches Strife style

"You went into my room?" "I did..." LMAOOO THE SHAME IN HIS VOICE. Cody Christian doing god's work voicing this sopping wet pathetic mess of a man

Zangan manhandling Cloud like that was NOT on my Rebirth bingo card.

The bridge collapse scene is beautifully expanded upon. Such a delicious moment if you know the real story. RIP Ramirez. o7

There is NO fucking way Sephiroth just... stood there unfazed by waist high rushing water. Y'all have any idea how dangerous just ankle-deep water is at those speeds? At least the generous use of artistic license in physics is established very early on.

Tifa demonstrating incredible self restraint by choosing not to strangle Zack to death at the mako spring. I would have walloped his cocky ass lol

"Such a puppy." We're establishing the homoerotic tension right away as well, thank god.

oooOOOouhh the way you can pinpoint the precise moment that Sephiroth starts to lose control at the reactor. The way he walks up those stairs.......

Mwahaha-ing over the visual parallels. Raising his hand to the candle flame... Jenova's face flickering over his own... wow. Every shot, every angle is carefully chosen. Cinematography at it's finest.

OG painted a picture of "no survivors," so it surprised me how many people seemed to have escaped from Nibelheim. Although, it's not certain what their ultimate fate was. I imagine they did it this way to show that the incident impacted far more people than just Cloud and Tifa. Makes sense, considering "sheer scale of suffering" is a recurring theme throughout the Re-trilogy so far.

Sephiroth's mass slaughter is bone chilling. The music, the tension, the iconic shot of the flames framing his figure. Goddamn. And then there's the poor trooper, reaching out for his mom.........

"Why didn't they just shoot him?? They had him surrounded!!" 1, Fear doesn't give a damn about rationality. 2, It's SEPHIROTH. They were almost certainly correct in assuming that their dinky little hunting rifles weren't gonna do jack shit.

Catch me giggling over the most mundane shit. LOVE the detail of the sword tip clanking on the metal floor as Tifa drags it. I'm obsessed with lovingly crafted, nearly unnoticeable sound design like that.

"Mother, they have come again." THANK FUCK they kept this line. I don't even know why, it just stuck with me so hard from OG.

Not sure why people are cranky that the flashback cuts off. It ends at the exact same point as in OG. That's the point, it's supposed to be frustrating.

Seeing an unfathomable number of dumbass comments going "huh??? why did cloud tell the story all wrong??? that's not what happened!!" Dear Lord Please Give Me The Strength

AERTI!!!!!!! hell yeah

Tifa being proactive instead of stewing in confusion!! Love that for her. But damn it didn't go down well, huh. "I was so happy to see you again, but maybe I shouldn't have been." BIG OOOOOF

OUCH. Cloud. At least take off the pauldron if you're gonna sleep on that side LOL

Chapter 2: A New Journey Begins (Kalm and The Grasslands)

Very interesting news broadcast ya got goin' on there, Shinra...

Kalm is so so so so pretty. Feels like an actual full sized city now! Wish we could have seen more of it at night, like in the OG.

Broden!! I like him. I want the best for him. I know he's fucked. But really, it's cool to see more SOLDIER characters. We get to see Cloud's uh-oh brain static moments from the outside perspective, and boy howdy, it ain't pretty.

Broden says he's "...on your side. Got a contact at HQ." Meanwhile, my delusional ass: CONTACT? KUNSEL? IS IT KUNSEL? DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE NAMED KUNSEL?

Mentioned it in a different post— I suspected they changed the arrangement of Midgar's sectors. Sure enough, it's confirmed by looking at Rebirth's world map. Is this a meta fate-has-been-altered thing, or is it just a curious retcon? Maybe a bit of both?

HOLLOW REMIX HOLLOW REMIX HOLLOW REMIX HOLLOW REMIX HOLLOW REMIX AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh my god, her name is CHLOE????????? "Chole" was a typo this whole fucking time???? I can't handle this

NOT CHOCOBO BILL BLINDSIDING US WITH THE CLOUD GETTING DOUBLE PENETRATED IN A NASTY SWAMP SHACK IMPLICATIONS???? HELLO?????????

My sweet son Chadley has returned from the time void.

Ok serious talk. Wtf is up with the audio mixing. Someone gave the thumbs up for this production?! The default music volume is WAY too loud and overpowers voice lines. Doesn't help that Remake's npc dialogue deluge in crowded areas hasn't been addressed at all. C'mon people, you had years to fix this shit. It's a shame too, because I would love to hear all of the beautiful music and talented voice acting, just... separately, please.

The Soggy Strife Agenda is off to a great start!

I know Midgar Zolom was a blind idiot translation, but I dunno man. Midgardsormr just doesn't do it for me. Zolom sweetie come home :(

FUCKING. FUCK. WHERE'S THE LINE. FUCK!!! Apparently Sephiroth Did Not Do This. Goddammit. Fucking blasphemy. Genuinely gutted that they didn't include that line. Imagine if they had pulled that shit with Me Gongaga. Unacceptable.

Chapter 3: Deeper into Darkness (Mythril Mines)

"Enough for her Standard Course twice, right?" keep it up Aerith you're doing amazing :)

Ah, the opening area of the mines has been converted into a museum. No wonder people are allowed to just waltz right on in.

ELENA!! Oooooh I love her voice!! She's got that young overconfident sass. Fits her perfectly. She's got me sweating bullets seeing her kick a grenade around like a soccer ball though YIKES

Those Boulders Are Not Made Of Solid Rock

Not much else to say about the mines. Love when the original version of the music kicked in. Barret and Red's dynamic is so good!

Chapter 4: Dawn of a New Era (Junon)

We just, uh, waiting for the bus there, folks? OH SHIT sorry about the bird of prey thing man, that sucks. Hope you feel better soon

Contrary to maybe popular opinion, but I actually love it when you know exactly what a character is going to say or do next. It means the writers have done a great job at getting that character across. Predictable does not always equal bad; tropes exist for a reason after all.

Under Junon. mwah <3

Priscilla!! Omg she's so cute and annoying. Just how I remember.

Soggy Strife Episode 2. This time featuring an off-putting amount of romantic tension between Cloud And That Dolphin

Lowkey disappointed that they cut the uncomfortably long CPR minigame. Gamers nowadays have no idea how good they have it. Back in my day, we had to give mouth-to-mouth for 5 minutes straight in deafening silence.

YUFFIE!!!!!! Oh my god the leakers weren't exaggerating about the naruto run

Yeah ok just. gonna do some good night crunches. Very. Uh. Normal of you, Cloud Strife. God I love this weirdo

ROCHEEEEE My Boyfriend Has Returned

Aerith and Priscilla doing the arm bump thing............ yeah...........

Yeah you work those tanker controls gay boy. I was really expecting a jumpscare as the tanker lifted up. Would have actually shrieked if Sephiroth was just like "sup lol"

WOW the sister ray!!! Honestly the first moment that made me go "DAMN this is Final Fantasy alright!" What a view.

Glad they kept Junon's silly amount of elevators.

Oh hi Glenn

So Aerith wants to know if there are any good restaurants in Junon. Well, maybe if this guy hadn't been busy barfing in an alleyway....

Gee Tifa and Aerith, it's a good thing you guys practiced your highly choreographed military drill, just in case you ever had to pretend to be a trooper during an inaugural parade. Gotta be prepared for even the most unlikely scenarios! (As a writer, I know how it is with suspension of disbelief. But it's still kinda doofy lol)

That being said, I'd let the commander have her way with me

THE MUSIC

Tee hee omg it's so cute to see Cloud in his element! Look at that boy go. He's so into it. I like hearing all of the Seventh Infantry's interactions, too. Really hammers it in that they're all just normal people with their own worries and hopes.

Oopsie daisy. I am not immune to Shinra Propaganda. Huh. Well done, writers.

THE GLABRESCENT!! EXCLUSIVE CLUB FOR BALD PEOPLE

Awww look at all the 1/35 soldiers! Man. This whole chapter is just one huge love letter to the OG. So much nostalgia, plus so much new exciting stuff. God I could go on and on

This Just In, Entire Junon Nursing Home Full Of Elderly People Dies Of A Heart Attack After Rufus Shinra Decides To Fire The Fucking Cannon

Roche please sign my forehead

Uh oh. Yuffie

Yeah Ok don't mind me, just a SOLDIER 1st Class, protecting these little infantrymen with my life. No parallels to be found here, folks

GENUINELY HONEST TO GOD I AM SO SORRY FOR SLICING YOUR BABY ANGEL IN HALF LIKE THAT ROCHE PLEASE FORGIVE ME. Cloud say you're sorry Right Fucking Now.

Oh good no hard feelings. Well. Actually. Uh

Chapter 5: Blood in the Water (Shinra-8/Ship to Costa)

Oh to be a girl hiding away in a cargo hold with another girl.......

Little bit of Traces of Two Pasts! So Aerith told Tifa about Faz, the weird guy that was a little bit too nice to Ifalna. Apparently Aerith is still shaken up by that. Don't blame her.

Ok. I've been avoiding the topic of Queen's Blood, because frankly, my opinion on it is completely unfounded and irrational. I fucking hate card games in video games that are not supposed to be solely about card games. I can't help it. I'm here for the pretty people rpg and the gut-wrenching t4t heartbreak, not for the Magic the Gathering subplot. Any time this game so much as breathes the name Queen's Blood in my direction, I feel something visceral welling up inside of me. So as you can imagine, The Chapter Where You Play Queen's Blood is not my personal favorite.

But I get it! It's not like there was much to do here in the OG. I like that they went out of their way to flesh the ship out and give it more to remember. And for people who like Queen's Blood, I'm happy for them!!

Silly boy humming the victory fanfare I love himmmm

*wiggles*

Gotta get me one of them bigass cardboard cutout palm trees to put on display inside of my grungy metal hallway. Wow what a vibe

DAMN RIGHT YOU SHOULD DEMAND THE MANAGER, RED

THE MOONWALK SJHSYAFDFKKFFJF oh mny fuckijngh god the terrified kid crying his eyes out LMAOOOOO

Dang It! I wanted to see what Cloud looks like swaddled up in that hammock. Why do you deny me that which I desire. Screw your fade to black.

Good to know Hojo is just as disgusting and disturbing as he should be! Yayyyyy :(

"Holy shit..." YUFFIE SAME????? TITOV BOUTTA BLOW SOME TITS OFF????

YEEEHAAWWWW time for another absolute fucking banger of a Jenova remix!!!! I cannot praise the soundtrack enough.

Chapter 6: Fool's Paradise (Costa del Sol)

Obligatory beach episode

Johnny!!!!! My favorite dramatic idiot with a heart of gold! It's ok babygirl I love your seasmell hotel. I'll stay there anytime.

Cloud acting like that lei is strangling him. Sameeee dude same but no really. This place sucks. Too many people trying to force this poor guy to have fun against his will.

If I have to hear "hang loose" one more time, there will be bloodshed.

I do not trust that man to ride safely and sanely on that wheelie. He can't even walk on his own two feet without endangering every physics object in the vicinity.

Empty materia moment actually made me gasp out loud

AERTI DATE AERTI DATE AERTI DATE AERTI DATE

OUTFIT REVIEW TIME

Cloud's Tits Out: An unusual sight. I feel like he should be smooth under there like Link BOTW. He looks a little too robust for someone who's got Big Oil And Brain Worms In There and hasn't slept in weeks. I appreciate the commitment to making him pale as paper and flat as a board. No top surgery scars lose points big time. I'm neutral about the toes. 4/10

Cloud's Business Casual: Immaculate. Tastefully hideous. That blue is NOT your color, girl. Chocobo imagery is always a plus. Absolutely mystified by the untied capris + 3/4 sleeve scoop neck combo. Pretty sure he's not wearing any socks with those tennis shoes. Sneakers in the sand is a helluva sensory experience for an autistic guy like him, I deeply respect it. 9/10.

Tifa's Frilly Miniskirt: Cute and confident. Split between it being utterly out of character for her, or 1000% perfect for her. The white and purple is a great color combo. Slightly concerned about the structural integrity of the neck strap. Uncooperative hairstyle is understandable but kills the vibe a bit. Jealous of the sandals. 8/10

Tifa's Tie Front: DAMN. Stripes with the collar, black jean shorts, hell yeah. The giant belt buckle is just asking for a nasty burn mark, though. Whatever. She's rockin' it. I dunno man, I'm at a loss for words, you just gotta see it to believe it. 10/10.

Aerith's Keepin' It Simple: Tried and true. Pink always works in her favor. Love the little matching flowers in her hair. The wrap around wallet chain is a welcome sprinkle of weirdness. Otherwise masterfully boring; it suits her city-slickin' down-to-earth attitude. 9/10

Aerith's Floral Cover Up: Classy. Got that Final Fantasy princess look with the ruffled sleeves and the push-up cut. The long skirt is nothing short of perfection. Lovestruck by the splash of lime green with the leaf pattern. Can't imagine how annoying those shin-high sandal straps might be though, that's gonna leave a mark. 9/10

Barret's Bear Wearing A Marshmallow: Pillsbury Dough Man at his finest. Faithful to the original, exquisite in 4K HD. Hoist hook arm adds that extra sailor flair, sealing the look. He's having fun with it, and that's what matters most. 10/10!

Ok back to reality

uh oh.

Yup, somehow they managed to make Hojo even more nauseating than ever before. Good. The more we hate him, the worse it'll sting when he keeps dodging his comeuppance. Hohohohoho.... That's Good Writing, Babie! Twist that knife. Keep us ravenously thirsty for revenge!!

Seen a lot of complaints about the women that accompany Hojo to the beach and shower him with compliments and oohs and aahs. Not sure why. Pretty sure it's heavily implied that they're being paid SHIT LOADS of gil to act that way. It's stated outright that they're working for Mayor Kapono, and it's well established by that point that the mayor is wrapped tight around Shinra's pinky finger.

The moment that beach fight started, I knew right away... GRAB THAT UMBRELLA, DO YOUR LEGACY PROUD

Aerith showing her vengeful side, just a tiny bit. So much pent up hatred and grief. Love how it mirrors Cloud's character. She's so forgiving, she doesn't know how to turn anger into action. He's so caught up in his anger, that he forgets what forgiveness could do for him. Man. :'(

Yuffie joins the team!!! Cloud's just like. >:/ lol

Chapter 7: Those Left Behind (Corel)

Fun time is over folks

Huh. Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but that's not even close to being a Weapon. Major retcon, or legendary fakeout?

Sighh... Aerith looking up at the sky like that... The longing sure is long isn't it

WELL! Ain't that the dolly zoom of a lifetime! It's absolutely wild to watch Cloud's mental state worsen gradually in real time. Seeing him almost walk off a cliff was freaky. Good stuff

I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR CLOUD JUNIOR

Poor Barret...... damn dude. The people of Corel were nasty to him in the OG, but they cranked that up to eleven in Rebirth. Wow.

"She your new wife? Well good for you..." istg i'll reach through that screen and choke you out with my bare hands bitchass

"NO." Well that settles that! Gee I wonder why Cloud's not interested in helping out the doctor with his test...... hmm......

Yuffie honey... read the room.........

Chapter 8: All That Glitters (Gold Saucer First Visit)

And now for a jarring tonal shift! Yeahh... this game suffers from awkward pacing. A lot. Though I do suppose that's the point— hellish suffering juxtaposed with distasteful extravagance, just how Shinra prefers it.

Dio should snap him in half like a twig. I think it would be good enrichment for Cloud.

Ok. I'm pretty sure this is like. the fourth time Cloud's pupils have gotten all blown out upon seeing Sephiroth. There may be a clinical explanation for this, but there sure as hell ain't a straight one. The submissive little gasps are NOT helping.

I'm fucking pissed on behalf of anyone who has to stay the night at this dumbass hotel. Oh my god. How could anyone fall asleep in this obnoxious hellscape.

At least the receptionist looks good tied up and struggling ;)

Cait Sith meowing his own theme song is doing something unfathomable to the part of me that almost became a furry back in middle school. Oh god no he's so adorable. I'm screwed

I'm going to dismantle that tonberry robot bolt by bolt.

Aerith and Cloud commentating the races omg kicking my feet like a little schoolgirl i love them so muchhhh

The bike minigame is just not the same without Roche's "encouragement"

Jessie 😭

Ok I'm glad that it's made clear from the get-go that Barret isn't responsible for the shooting, and he also doesn't try to take the fall for Dyne. That left a bad taste in my mouth in the OG, so this is a welcome change.

Cait Sith is a little bit too enthused about the muggin' maimin' and murderin' lmao

OH MY GOD CLOUD. Baseball bat to the back of the head was genuinely shocking. As if he didn't have enough brain damage to begin with D:

Oh yuck. Gus is insufferable and nasty. I've known this guy for all of five seconds, and I already hate his guts. Fantastic characterization right outta the gate. The music is hilarious.

Billy???? How the hell did you end up here????? Kid you GOTTA get tf out of this place

LMAOOO Elena is my favorite turk confirmed. "NO VANILLA."

Oh man. Dyne time. This entire part is so damn good. Barret wants so badly for Dyne to be the beloved friend he used to be, but he's just way too far gone. So much resentment and grief.

Second half of the Dyne battle is a little bit weird, but I can tentatively accept it.

Was definitely wondering how they would handle Dyne's suicide given the teen rating. They circumvented the issue by having Shinra troopers gun him down in a crazed last stand. Different from the OG, but still believable and well written, considering their limitations.

Now that I think about it, this game is REALLY pushin' it with the teen rating. I'm willing to bet the rating boards were like, "yeah uh we can make an exception. it's FFVII we're talkin' about." Still... wonder why they couldn't go as far with Remake.

"You carry that guilt... That weight..." Wow. That line.

Annnnd jarring tonal shift! Robot frog fight versus the comedy relief villain. To be fair, I can't think of any other decent place to put this boss, either. On the bright side, Anuran Suppressor is awesome. Favorite fight in the game so far!

I need this soundtrack in my possession right fucking now.

Oh hi Glenn

Chapter 9: The Planet Stirs (Gongaga)

dune buggy :)

Oh Yuffie... just keep a barf bucket on hand or somethin will ya?

"I just... I feel like I've been here before." Well wouldja look at that... no jenova static...

Going over the hill and seeing the reactor... damn.

CISSNEI!!!! Ouuugh girl you know EXACTLY who tf he is, don't lie.

Noooo give Cait his little mushroom back you meanie :(

Ah. The deranged picnic music.

Gongaga has a much different vibe than it did in the OG. The intense feeling of mourning and hardship is missing. No hazy purple hues or Anxiety playing. Seems like they went in more of a CC direction, with the bright blue sky and uplifting soundtrack. Can't lie, I'm a tiny bit disappointed; I was really hoping for something more heavy and melancholic.

The existence of ordinary chickens in the FFVII universe has some frightening implications for the true nature of chocobos. If you have ever kept backyard chickens, you'll know what I mean.

Ohhhhhhh.... Zack's home............. :((((((

No. No. Don't play Sky Blue Eyes. Don't fucking do this to me. I'm gonna fucking cry. Oh my god no.

"They do say no news is good news, right?" I'm gonna do it.

You know shit's bad when even Cloud "I'm Fine" Strife admits he needs to have a lie down. Yikes.

Man, I really wish we knew more about Tifa and Aerith's chats. Dramatic irony's a bitch.

They sure went all out with the mushroom thing, huh. I know they were trying to differentiate Gongaga in terms of gameplay and worldbuilding, but I feel like they went a little overboard. Gongaga was its own unique thing in OG, not sure why they felt the need to quote unquote improve upon it. Just kinda weird.

Now the reactor is a different story. They did an incredible job here. The scale of the reactor, the unprecedented destruction—

Oh God Damn It The Whispers Are Back

Seriously trying so hard to justify in my own mind why the whispers are here. I don't despise them as a concept, but their implementation is awkward and overdone. In the Gongaga reactor, they fulfill the same narrative purpose as the black robes would: to facilitate the Reunion by mentally dragging Cloud along. Sigh... I get it's because they want to familiarize the player with the whispers in anticipation of future scenes, but it still pisses me off.

That being said, the whispers' theme goes HARD and I'm elated to hear it again. It also fits super well in the Gongaga reactor. So I guess I'm not that pissed.

Touch Me renamed to Amphidex. Can't have shit in Gongaga :/

ooOOOOO!!! The mako fumes getting to Cloud's head! Poor guy's about to pass out. Nice touch.

Sephiroth/Jenova taking advantage of Cloud's mako poisoning... Oh man... the instant change in demeanor is nuts. So fucking good. Here we get to see the first time that Sephiroth has total control over Cloud, and it does not disappoint. Ruthless.

Tifa honey how and why tf are you keeping it together right now. Girl, you do NOT have to fix him. You do not have to show him your boobs a second time. You do not have to take a single thing he says seriously. You can just get up and leave I promise he's doomed by the narrative until further notice 😭😭😭

Telluric Orca Vore Moment was also not on my rebirth bingo card but Okay

Teasing the lifestream. Sure, I can get down with it. Just... y'all got a bit of a whisper problem down here. Want me to call pest control?

"No! Don't take him too!" Damn...

I would not feel safe alone in a room with a man who just tried to kill me, let alone even remotely consider intimacy, but maybe that's just me. It is refreshing to see Tifa and Cloud actually talk things out for a change.

Cloud knows there's something wrong with him and he's so scared... man :'(

What does Aerith say to her???????????? ARRRGHHH

So we're all just perfectly fine with Cloud continuing to be in charge? Nobody's got any objections to that? Alrighty Then

SURPRISE Cid Highwind!! Leaks were right, he's cleaned up. No cigs, less swears, very friendly guy. Not as off-putting as I worried it might be. I'm convinced it's just because he's got a business to run— we'll see good ol' cranky Cid in part 3.

ROCHE NOOOOOOOOOO DON'T!!!!!!!! :(

Chapter 10: Watcher of the Vale (Cosmo Canyon)

Red's real voice reveal! Red's real name reveal!! Though I really would have preferred to see his name change to Nanaki in the menu and subtitles...

Cosmo Canyon is coming off as a hippie stoner tourist trap. Yeah all of these people are correct about the planet and the lifestream, but dang if it doesn't feel like someone's about to heckle me into buying healing crystals and dreamcatchers.

The nostalgia is A++. Beautiful remaster of the music, too.

BUGENHAGEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!!!! SO jealous of him zoomin around on that sick af crystal ball. Screw the Costa wheelies, I want one of these bad boys.

...A legendary fakeout in the making, I think!

The observatory is stunning. Can't even put it into words. The planetarium brought me to tears, it's such a flood of nostalgia and a deeply emotional scene. I love the nice detail of the planet being different from Earth— mako tinted oceans instead of deep blue. Watching the model planet rot and crumble broke my heart.

Sobbing the whole way through Aerith's speech. My god. Poor girl. Knowing what her fate is in the OG makes it hurt even worse.

Gi Nattak. Would

Expanding upon the Gi. Unexpected but super cool. Their story reminds me of FFIX, with the parasitic planet Terra lurking deep within Gaia. The Gi and the Cetra seem to have something similar going on. Who was here first? It almost sounds like the Cetra and their lifestream are invaders.

I could easily relate to the Gi's opinion, that the endless cycle of the lifestream and the persistence of the spirit is tantamount to torture. Never being able to truly rest in peace sucks. Don't worry friends, I'll bring you the black materia! :) (THIS USER CANNOT BE TRUSTED WITH THE BLACK MATERIA)

Aerith sticking her hand into the mako..............

Chapter 11: The Long Shadow of Shinra (Nibelheim)

The intense gaslighting about Nibelheim was one of my favorite things about the OG. It also helped seed even more doubt into Cloud's existence as a real person, setting up his descent into madness over the black materia and vulnerability as Sephiroth's puppet. So the changes they've made to Nibelheim in Rebirth are... unnecessary, to put it lightly.

The villagers do not argue with Tifa or Cloud about their memories of the town. They greet them and tell them all about the town's development into a mako poisoning treatment center. Sigh... Part of what made OG's Nibel revisit so dreadful was the unshakeable feeling that you are not welcome there, and that you're being watched like a hawk. I feel a little bit too comfy here in Rebirth Nibelheim, with how friendly and open everyone's being.

Love the chat with Tifa in her old room. We get so much insight into her thoughts and feelings about Nibelheim, Avalanche, and about Cloud and herself.

"Every time we made eye contact, you'd look away. And when I tried to talk to you, you'd ignore me." ouch, don't gotta poke him in the autism like that

Ohoho. The hotel's digging up some memories. I've said my piece.

dillydally

LORD have mercy. This boy's noodle is scrambled like you wouldn't believe. Good news, he remembers Zack, sort of. Bad news, he thinks he fucking drowned?!???? It's intimidating to see the lengths Jenova/Sephiroth will go to to obscure the truth from Cloud. Damn.

Ok Yuffie is actually starting to get a bit obnoxious. Please stop interrupting emotionally charged moments. We get it, you're excited about materia. Cut it out.

If I were Tifa I would be shitting my pants terrified right about now. Girl I do NOT know how you're holding it together.

And now for the most distasteful tonal shift and momentum killer of all time. It's silly kitty cat hijinks time!! ...What the actual fuck. I like Cait Sith, but this is unacceptable. The basement is supposed to be a sickening place of fear and tragedy. Turning it into a cutesy little box chucking playground is downright disrespectful to the original FFVII. I can't even believe I'm writing this, it's so absurd as a concept. This is the only major change that I'm legitimately seriously upset about.

And by god does it drag on. Every time you think, surely this is the final section!... nope. It just keeps on fucking going. Fuck my life, my blood is boiling. Unreal. Remake's slow ass hand-crane highway thing is nothing compared to this. I'll take a Queen's Blood tournament and a hurricane of whispers any day over this unrivaled masterclass in unnecessary bullshit. Fuck.

At least to some people, the reward for getting through the Cait Sith Crate Slog is worthwhile— a few cutscenes starring Vincent Valentine, and a battle against Galian Beast. But if you're like me, and you're not utterly obsessed with Vincent Valentine or Matt Mercer, then by this point, you're just feeling drained and disappointed.

Overall... least favorite chapter. Mellow start, juicy build up with great potential, completely shafted by baffling nonsense.

RIP Roche. Heartbreaking. It's been a good run. Side note, Roche's conversion into a black robe was... quite bizarre. That's just, uh, how that works, I suppose? Okie dokie then

Oh hi Glenn

Chapter 12: A Golden Key (Gold Saucer Revisit)

Always felt weird about the Gold Saucer revisit in the OG. Unusual pacing. Well, at least Rebirth's being consistent in that regard.

What's the point of the theater if you're just going to do a VR performance instead? I know it's a silly little nitpick, but I wanna hear some soles squeaking on a hardwood stage!

Ah, that's the point of the VR. So Shinra can use a dead woman's likeness to keep selling tickets to their overhyped shows. Surprised none of the characters say anything about that, given Avalanche's well-established anticapitalist message.

This is what Genesis Rhapsodos decided to hyperfixate on? No wonder the guy's hair started turning grey and falling out in chunks. [SARCASM]

Barret sobbing uncontrollably, right next to Nanaki looking like a rejected Crash Bandicoot reboot clapping his paws together. Sums up this entire game so far.

The "audience participation" in the play is altered significantly from the OG. It's, uh, very neat and tidy. I strongly prefer OG's hysterical secondhand embarrassment and awkward ad-lib.

I NEED to know what happens if you fail all of the QTEs. Please tell me it goes off the rails and Cloud gets booed off stage PLEASE.

Pretty song. But my god if that is Not What She Would Sound Like.

The gondola rides!! Overall fantastic. So difficult to pick a favorite. Tifa's is obviously phenomenal, but I think I still have a soft spot for Aerith's. I like that Barret's is taken more seriously; it's such a heartfelt moment. Yuffie reminiscing about Zack was adorable, as well as Cloud relating to her being bad with feelings. The Cait Sith/Cid/Vincent one had me laughing out loud, it was so stiff and awkward lmaoo

THE SCOTCH AND KOTCH DISS TRACK IS SENDING ME???????? SKSJKHAGAAAFDSDSDHHBFD I'm so happy to see these freaks doing their thing again.

RUFUS SHINRA?????

Yeah, no Cait Sith, you ain't garnering any pity from me. Not happening after the crate incident.

Chapter 13: Where Angels Fear to Tread (Temple of the Ancients)

So the temple is to the north now. Understandable, since that's where the Forgotten Capital is, too. Still took me by surprise. Also means we won't be going back to Gongaga... aww :(

HOLY FUCK the way the temple assembles itself... now THIS is what I'm talkin' about!

Teasing us with that fractal square symbol since all the way back in Remake...!

Roche....... "my... friend..." :(((((((

These troopers are NOT getting paid enough for this shit lmao

Oh howdy there Rathalos from Monster Hunter, you look a bit different than I remember

Thank goodness the Cetra had the foresight to incorporate some aesthetically appropriate rest benches into their temple's design!

Aerith's seance + the camera angle of the whole team watching... beautiful nod to FFX...? <3

That better not have been Kunsel.

Reno jumpscare

Elena's pretty pink pistol with the charms and stickers is so goofy. I love her. Hopefully Cloud won't try to chop her head off within the next sixty seconds or anything like tha— uh, nevermind.

oooOOURGHH Cloud is SO fucking terrifying throughout the whole temple. Cody hitting it out of the ballpark BIG TIME with the voice acting. DAMN.

Everybody but Cloud has memories to retread... broke my heart. Sad and scary. By the way Hey uhh Temple? Why the fuck would you do this to us? :(

ugly sobbing

Followed up by the Gayest Thing I Think I've Ever Seen In Video Game History

YOU! WITH THE WING!! GET DOWN HERE!!! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!

Oh god no you're going to make me fight Demon Gate aren't you

THERE'S TWO OF THEM??!?!?!??!?!!! AAHGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HORRIFYING BUT RELATABLE, CLOUD

Wait. Cloud. Hey. Can we talk about it for a sec. Come back please

"There's no point fighting over a fake." WHOA I actually straight up forgot about that twist! Hell yeah! What a wham line!

"I wish I hadnae skipped leg day." pFFFFT LMAOOOOO

"Yeah... I'm good." The Fuck You Ain't

PHHWAAHH HE JUST GETS CRUSHED AWWW!! RIP LMAO WHAT A WAY TO GO

The temple's transformation is breathtaking. And that music score, too, holy fuck.

Honestly I'm not even mad about the whispers being there, they're just a setpiece at this point. Adds to the frantic atmosphere. I'm choosing to ignore their narrative relevance until absolutely necessary.

ROCHE? YOU GOOD THERE BUDDY?

THAT BOY on his hands and knees SCRAMBLING for that black materia. Gayass

CLOUD AARHGRFGGFFFFF OHHGGHH SEPHIROTH HAS COMPLETE CONTROL OVER HIM HHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

OUUGRRHHHH OAWWWWGGHH

LISTEN. Listen I cannot formulate coherent thoughts about this. Go see it for yourself. Just go.

tee hee hee he's so proud of himself handing it over :3

It Begins.

Interlude. The Zack Moments so far:

Yeahhhh not a huge fan of Zack just dropping Cloud off at the nearest recognizable npc. Not after he almost gave his goddamn life to protect him.

MAN! Finally get to see what it's like to enter/exit Midgar. No fade to black, just on your feet and out the gate. Feels good; kinda surreal honestly. Never realized how bad I wanted this.

Regardless of what you think about the Zack thing, you gotta admit, the atmosphere during his sections is ethereal. So beautiful and calming in such a tragic way.

Love how he fights different than Cloud. Throwing punches, brutal kicks, shoulder checks, much like in Crisis Core.

HOLY FUCK don't mind me just gonna uhhh rip this five hundred pound metal post out of the ground and chuck it like a toy hammer. Suddenly the Buster Sword doesn't seem all that unwieldy.

......RIP Barret, Nanaki, and Tifa. Oof. What a way to go out.

DON'T MAKE MY SWEET BOY CRY LIKE THAT FUCK YOU!!! :(((((

Damn bitch you live like this??? To be fair, that's probably the most luxurious resting spot he's had in literal YEARS. Like wow there's a mattress!! And a roof!!!!!

Good to know that Cloud's goofy ass flinging himself out of bed straight into a combat stance thing from Remake is actually a Zack mannerism lol

Ohhh... my heart... seeing things from Cloud's perspective... I like the how this expands upon what the OG established, about "dreams" of this type. Sort of like the sleeping forest scene. Also makes Aerith's resolution scene in Remake all the more curious.

Aww... walking out onto the balcony and seeing the whole garden dead...

Obsessed with the music that plays during Zack's sections. Wow.

Awwww Marlene and Zack are such a silly duo :')

Biggs wtf did you do????????

Ziggs crashing hard onto my list of OTPs. Oops.

Divine intervention preventing a headshot? I'm sure some CS:GO players can relate.

Biggs' and Zack's conflicting memories of Cloud, plus the "broken internal clocks" is intriguing.

"Zack-of-all-trades" tickles me :D

All of their dialogue together is so self-aware... two characters who have had their narrative purposes torn out from under them, desperate to find a new one. The fact that there is no reason for them to be here is the whole point.

"We're all headed for the same place. You'll see your daddy and Tifa again." Oh ok yeah sure go ahead and rip my heart right out of my chest Elmyra

"Hello in there..." 🥺

So Remake Aerith bestowed memories of her future death upon Marlene. Is childhood innocence a prerequisite for this ability to work? Seeing as she did something similar with Nanaki. Otherwise, you'd think she would try to entrust her own fate with someone more influential, like Tifa or Barret.

I cannot fucking believe that Zaclerith endgame is real. Am I dreaming

Aww Zack has Aerith's ribbon tied around his hand...

Chapter 14: End of the World (Forgotten Capital/Final Chapter)

Ok Tsengru shippers. I finally see it. You are 100% correct about them.

Now we're getting WILD with it. The timeline shenanigans are in full swing. Speculation aplenty ahead.

"...or 'homeward bound' maybe?" Still trying to make sense of what exactly these sky-rift worlds are. Aerith's line here seems to imply that this is some kind of purgatory...? Where timelines go to wallow in their death throes? That's my understanding, so far. Especially with all of the mournful npc dialogue.

Aww... Aerith's date with Cloud mirroring the one she had with Zack in Crisis Core :')

I tell you what, the Stamp figurine made me GASP. So that's three timelines now. Beagle, Terrier, Spitz.

So Terrier Zack goes to Hojo in hopes of finding a cure for Cloud. Not his finest idea... but oh well. Jealous of his motorcycle. ;)

Sephiroth is combing timelines for one version of Aerith in particular...? Am I on the right track here? Is this the same Aerith from her resolution scene in Remake?

THE PUG made me spit my fucking drink out. Hot damn, there's four! We saw this timeline's conception in the form of the bright flash of light when Terrier Zack chose to go to Hojo.

So Pug Zack instead goes to Biggs at reactor 6. I really, really love this scene. The pump is dry, the planet's life is flashing before its eyes. A heartfelt moment shared between two characters who have had their narrative purposes torn out from under them. Zack gets a delicious bit of character progression, wanting to take back control of his life. Price of Freedom playing in the background has got me wailing like an air horn.

"I'm sick of taking its shit!" WHOA Zack swearing caught me way off guard. He flees from battle for once, instead of facing Shinra head on in this timeline. Wonder how that'll change things.

"You don't look like you're on a date... More like 'at a funeral.'" Mhm. duly noted

Give it up for timeline number five! Corgi Zack is sitting on the stairs at the church.

"Cloud, Biggs, or Aerith... How the hell am I supposed to choose?" You don't have to, darling. It's called a polycule.

Sephiroth slashes a hole in reality, and the black whispers drag Corgi Zack through it. Starting to think I shoulda done my Lifestream Black/Lifestream White homework.

So far, Aerith+Cloud's date "dream" has taken place entirely in the Spitz timeline. It's not clear if this is also true of the scene inside of the church, especially since Sephiroth comes waltzing in after we just saw him outside in the Corgi timeline. I'm getting the impression that time and space are a very hand-wavey thing in this layer of reality.

HEART EXPLODING GHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now for one of the most exhilirating things I think I've ever seen in MY LIFE.

"Behold... The true nature of reality. When the boundaries of fate are breached, new worlds are born. The planet encompasses a multitude of worlds, ever unfolding. [...] In the planet's embrace, all life is as one." Sephiroth's entire dialogue here... I got goosebumps. That's all.

"Very poor form." LMAO

I notice now on my second watch through, that as early as the sleeping forest scenes, we're cutting back and forth between two different timelines, I believe. Whenever the black or white whispers rush past, we shift perspective from one timeline to another. Pay close attention. Two worlds, simultaneous, but different.

Cloud delivers the white materia from one Aerith to another. Is this the same white materia we see from the beginning of Rebirth? I don't think she swaps the materia out, just transfers its power into her own empty materia, then hands Cloud the newly empty one.

Interesting! Looks like the timeline had already split, all the way back when Cloud handed over the black materia. Previously we saw Cloud and Aerith fall, but now— the white whispers rush past— and we see him rescue her and pull themselves up before they fall. Interesting!

Some youtube theorycrafter will piece together the symbolic significance of literally every tiny detail in this prerendered cutscene and make perfect sense of it. Looking forward to it too, because this is WAY above my paygrade.

Hello, whiper pest control services? Hi, yes, I would like to know why the white whispers are suddenly getting in the way? I thought they were my friends :(

Aerith's prayer :(((((((((

OHHGH MY GOD fucking legendary use of the haptic/adaptive triggers. Holy shit.

👁️ 👁️

Meanwhile, Zack Fair

me, banging my fists on the table: KISS! KISS!!! KISS! KISS!!!! JUST KISS ALREADY!!!!!! KISS!!!

Lmao Zack is so indifferent to this interdimensional insanity. After being the protagonist of Crisis Core, he's just like "lol whatever this is fine"

"Look at you takin' charge! I like it!" 😏

Zack+Cloud synergy attack!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!

"What in the hell is going on!?" SAME ZACK, SAME

AERITH!!!!!!!!!

OH FUCK IT'S THE SONG

the hand hold 💔

i'm incoherent. i'll figure out my thoughts about this some other time

Oh hi Glenn— OH SHIT??!?

THE SWORD CAN DO THAT?????? what

Man... the in-game skybox does NOT do that rift in the sky justice. Absolutely staggering in the final prerendered cutscene.

Next time I have a migraine aura, I'll be at ease knowing that it's just the timelines rippling and merging. No big deal

Two separate worlds, one where she lives, one where she dies. Realities overlapping and intertwined. Cloud's fragile mind fluctuating between both… wow. Can't wait to see where this leads in part 3.

Misc. thoughts, not chapter specific:

Love the accentuated mako in SOLDIER eyes. It irked me that the iconic mako color was so muted in Remake, so seeing it so vibrant in Rebirth is sexy as hell.

Um. No comment on Glenn, really. I'm not heavily invested in his story; maybe I'd be more interested if SE had actually done anything substantial with First Soldier and Ever Crisis. I don't mind that he's here, and the Jenova/Sephiroth twist was pleasantly surprising. Matt and Lucia name drop was also a nice touch. It's pretty obvious that the only reason Glenn is here is to help set up a confict against Wutai for part 3. Fair enough.

So no Kunsel? *SMASHES PHONE ON THE GROUND* *CRUSHES SKATEBOARD*

[draventhedemon]

IT'S FINALLY OUT!!!

THANK GOD!!!

Thank you for being patient! It's just I needed some of the Dream Drama to die down before I posted this.

Once again ⚠️ Warning ⚠️ there will be swearing

Also I only use the names of some of them because I actually don't know some of their names and I'm too lazy to look them up.

(Y/n pov)

"Tommy, I swear to god! Stop vlogging the dress." I say as I pinch my nose. "Tommy! Get ready, the wedding is in 2 hours and your not even in your suit." Eret says as I see him in his stunning maid of honor dress.

"Tommy, your not even one of the bridesmaids. Go over to Dream's side of the building" I shout as he continues to run around and just film me from multiple different angles. "Tommy, I swear to god my character will go evil again if you keep this up" I jokingly shout as Nick walks in and picks up Tommy. "Clay asked for him, sorry Y/n" he laughs as Tommy is just whining and shouts "why!?!" As the door shuts.

"Y/n, can I paint your nails" Niki says as they come out of one of the changing rooms "At this point, do what you want" I mumble as I struggle to sit down in this dress. But I pick the nail polish and they start making intricate designs.

"Sorry I'm late!" Puffy says as she burst into the room already ready with their makeup and outfit. "Damn! I'm getting jealous, I haft to wear white while all of you dress up in neon fricken colors" I jokingly say as I realize that she is holding a bottle of champagne. "Eret, look what I got! I stole it from the reception!" Puffy waves around the bottle as they place it on the table.

"I'm sorry what" Eret says as she moves closer to pick up the bottle. "Good job Puffy? but I thought you were supposed to be the responsible one?" Eret says with confusion as we all just sit there "Well, how many times is Y/n gonna get married. You gotta make the day special" they smile as we all laugh at the antics

(An hour before the wedding)

"I'm getting a bit scared" I mumble as everyone just stops where they were at and just look at me. "Why? You have no reason to be scared" Eret says as all of my friends huddle around me. "First of all, my parents haven't shown up yet" I say as I look up to try and get no makeup on my face smudged. "I'm sure they will show up soon" Puffy says while hugging you. "Let's hope so." I mumble

(Dream pov because I think it would be funny)

"Tommy! We have 40 minutes and you don't have your suit on!" I shout as He vlogs Nick and George playing Minecraft in their suits. "So they are allowed to play Minecraft but I can't vlog-" "were in our suits Tommy" They both mumble in unison, "that's what I said, JYNX, FUCK" They both drop the game then go into a game of who said it first.

"Tommy, just put on your suit, and if you do" I sigh as I regret what I'm about to say

"I'll tell the Dj to play the Speedrun song at the after-party" I'm gonna get murdered by Y/n... But it's works because the second he hears that he grabs his suit and goes into the bathroom. "Y/n is going to kill you" George laughs as Nick states that fact.

"I know that" as I chuckle and join them in Minecraft.

"you think we could do a Manhunt in the span of 32 minutes?" Nick says as we go into an empty world.

"We can try"

(the wedding, Y/n's pov)

"Eret, my parents still aren't here!" I say as calm as I can as I get up to leave. "Hey, if you're panicked this much. We can always have Phil walk you". "Maybe, but why haven't they arrived!?! They should support me in this moment, what if something bad happened?!? What if they got into a car crash, I need to check on them! What if their dead!?!-" I go to leave as Eret grabs me by my arm.

"They aren't dead, Y/n! Their running late, all people can get stuck in traffic. And you can't keep Dream waiting." Eret says as I look at him and put my head down. "Sorry" I mumble, "hey, what kind of Maid of honor would I be if I didn't stop the Bride from getting cold feet." She smiles as she walks me to the Isle.

(Eret pov)

"Hey Phil, Y/n's parent's haven't arrived. and they were supposed to walk them down the Isle, so I was wondering if you could-"

"sure, why not mate" he smiles and walks over to Y/n with Kristen. "You alright Y/n?" Kristen asks

(Y/n's pov)

"You alright Y/n?" Kristen asks as I nod and give them both a hug. "You ready?" Phil asks "as ready as I'll ever be" I smile as I grab both their arms.

And as I hear the music start playing I know

'oh fuck, this is it, welp, lets go!'

As soon as the door opens

(I made it a Church because idk what else to do)

I see Tommy Standing their with his camera as I begin walking down the Isle. From where I'm standing I can see Clay happy crying. Everyone is their and I've never been so happy.

As I walk down the Isle and get to Clay, I stand there for a second before Clay asks. "What happened to your parents?" "It's a long story, I'll tell you it at our Honeymoon" I say as I smile. "No, were gonna be doing something else at the Honeymoon" he sneaks in one last sex joke as I giggle and turn to the priest.

"Please be seated…" The priest says...

(idk who the priest should be, so I'm gonna call him Joe... Paster Joe)

"Friends, family, and loved ones, we come together today, in the sight of the divine and of you as witnesses to join Clay ****** and Y/n L/n in marriage. We gather around them now in this wonderful place, and we look on with love and hope as these two begin their new life together as one." Paster Joe says as we smile and look at our friends and then back at eachother. "Clay ******* and Y/n L/n, are you ready to proclaim that foundation of love for one another in the sight of the heavens and these witnesses?"

"Yes" Clay says simply, but we're not simple

"Hell fuckin yeah!" I say as I feel Badboyhalo's blood pressure rise.

"Clay, do you take Y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you honor and cherish them? love, trust, and commit to them, through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw at you both, until death do you part?"

"I do"

And Y/n, do you take Clay to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you honor and cherish him? love, trust, and commit to him, through joy and pain, sickness and health, and whatever life may throw at you both, until death do you part?"

"I do"

"At this time, Y/n and Clay will exchange rings. The wedding ring is symbol of binding. A symbol of attachment and of belonging, not of possession, but of partnership."

As he says that I see Clay kneel down and pick up the rings from on top of patches box.

"oh my god you weren't kidding" I laugh as I take his ring and put it on his finger and he puts my ring on mine. "Now I do believe that you two have prepared your own vows" The Priest says as We nod. And we both go to say our vows together at the same time but we stop.

"you can go first if you'd like" "no, you should go first" " nah, because ladies first"

"you know what" I smile as the crowd of family laughs.

"I would say a Game of Minecraft would settle this but there isn't a computer so... Rock paper scissors" I laugh as We play a round and he picks rock and I pick scissors.

"alright Y/n, we met 3 years ago but It's felt like centuries. Our first interaction was a stupid war in Minecraft. When Wilbur brought you into the smp to play out a stupid drug van storyline. You seemed mature, but apparently don't judge a book by it's cover, because of you kicking my ass in a 1v1" he laughs and looks around at the crowd of family and friends than back to me.

"I will love and cherish you until the day I die, you came from the UK and now live under my roof. And as long as you stay their you will have anything you need on a silver platter" he smiles and I feel tears go down my cheek.

A/N (I'm not romantic, can you tell?)

After than I say my vows with tear filled eyes. (I'll allow you to imagine you're own vows, because I'm not romantic at all)

We go to the reception and see all of our friends. I make a detour to see my maid of honor. "Eret! Did I do well?" I smile as he responds "you cried a lot, but you're vows were beautiful" she smiles as we start up a conversation.

It's going well up until Tommy runs up and says "can you promise me not to kill Dream?" I look at him confused until I hear the music thats playing. "You know that promise he made about an Irl manhunt" I look at the camera. "Yeah?" Tommy mumbles, I smile and say "how about an Irl manhunt, wedding addition. Just to scare him" I chuckle and playfully run through the crowd. And thank god for flats because I would have tripped if I wore anything else.

I see him talking to Nick and George, I run over and tackle him. "We had one rule clay!" I smile and hug him. "It was the only way to get Tommy into his suit?!" He puts on a funny smirk and kisses me on the lips

"I love you" he Mumbles

"I love you too" I hug him once more...