#i dont know how i end up liking this UGLY ASS sketch more
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leoroxwurmz · 6 days ago
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EWWWW glitterhugs
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da sketch ^^^^^
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antiloreolympus · 3 years ago
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10 Anti LO Asks
1. i honestly have to guess the reason the anatomy is just SO bad in LO now is that the team gets such rushed sketches from rachel (youd be shocked how many series do this to their teams of assistants) and are on such a time crunch that yeah with a little more time they could fine-tune it to look better but they just go "fuck it" and follow exactly whats on the sketch and it just ends up looking like ... that. its not really the fault of the team but more rachel doesnt give them a lot to work with.
2. idk how you guys claim lo persephone has no personality?? she has big boobs and ass and does whatever hades wants her to do, thats all the personality she needs! (/s obviously)
3. LMAOOO EROS IS BANNED NOW?? love you terrible tumblr staff, never change
4. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT CANVAS COMIC YOURE TALKING ABOUT and you can check the creator's instagram and see the majority of their page is just LO fanart. they maybe could have claimed arrogance if this wasn't the case (tbh most of the character, story, and visual tropes LO uses are super common place that an accidental overlap is very possible) to give it more leeway, but the fact they're an admitted LO fan who just HAPPEN to have all the same exact elements is ... very sus.
5. the athena/hesita ship is also bad bc theyre framed as hypocrites for not letting the poor straight girl persephone bone her near retirement age boss and theyre just?? stupid?? like they never get rid of their no sex rule? also rachel's past comments of hestia "getting over" being asexual (as if asexuals dont have sex? its a spectrum?) and the fact athena has to look like a Man™️ while Hestia looks like a Woman™️ so it's also a gendered gay ship too. It's just bad no matter how you cut it.
6. this is such an annoying thing about RS's "character designs" but why do NONE of them have even some distinct accessories to show who they are? Give Zeus a crown of lighting streaks. Give Hera peacock decals on her clothes. Have Poseidon carry his trident on his back. Give Hades a jewel skull tie pin. ANYTHING! The only one who has any is Persephone with blobby flowers which often aren't even there and lack any sort of rhyme or reason to them (other than blue for horny 🤨). It's so lazy!
-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----
7. FP Spoilers//I wish Persephone had come by her wrath honestly instead of it being "blessed" by Eris. Like. Heaven forbid the sweet precious cinnamon roll has dimension and feels wrath because that's natural and just part of her? Maybe I'm not making sense. Idk it just feels like RS is doing everything in her power to make Persephone perfect rather than a well rounded character. Maybe I'm wrong. Idk I just hate that it's not *her* wrath it's a blessing from Eris. Smh. 
8. alright im not spending coins on it, what cliffhanger did the mid season finale end on this time. (//fp spoilers obvs)
From OP: I’d recommend just going on youtube tbh. The panels kinda add to this weird mid season finale.
9. //FP SPOILERS
OH MY GOD YESSSS I'VE BEEN WAITING 12 YEARS  WHOLE SEASON FOR THIS. Persephone's finally getting the punishment for all her deeds(and a pretty fair one, per se), she and Hades will finally be apart and Zeus being an actual ruler who makes big decisions and not some clown. Like yeah, there is also ugly art, plot twists out of nowhere, but this is just season 2 you can't do anything about. All and all this is the best chapter in the season so far, can't wait for LO stans to read it, ooh boy this is going to be fun
10. Fp- yep so Perse is all uwu, her "ambitious" side and aow wasn't even hers. Wanted character development? Now you have downgrade. Thanks Rachel. At least we are getting Minthe back
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losersclublol · 3 years ago
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kinda weird and odly specific (fem) stozier bff head cannons !!!
stan has only ever let her bare feet out around richie
they quote the twins from like that one snl sketch. wait lemme specify. this one and they quote all the john mulany ones. like “we’re so close we finish eachother..” “off”. “his bootys real” “but my personality is fake”
they do those smule duets together and it’s a hot fucking mess but kinda good???
stupid. fucking. tiktoks.
so many
richie insists that they only do like one but they’re both on a friendship high and end up making like 20 and they’re all messy yet funny and good
a few of them blew up
cause why wouldn’t they. like you take richie, an actual comedian, and stan, an actual comedian who just won’t get paid for it. and you get comedic genius with the right amount of fruityness
ew no but matching pjs at sleepovers omg
sleepovers would either be like “we need sleep but you’re at my house” or “almost breaking something whilst having an amazing time and oh wow how did that get in your hair”
stan does richies hair at least once a month and she keeps telling richie to just do her hair like this and it’ll look this good all the time and richie keeps saying she will but noooooooo she doesn’t cause she’s a little dirt girl who has to look messy
they make the weirdest but best snacks together (i used to dip cabbage in lemonade, it was bomb)
they make little cooking videos/vlogs but it’s just stan looking tired and doing a good job, richie getting lost and confused and both of them losing everything they put down
“anyway now we need the spatula to mix it all up… where is the spatula” “how tf would i know dumbass you had it last” “okay don’t be mean stancy but seriously where is it i just had it” “bro i don’t know just retrace your steps or something idk… wait no where tf is it it’s not here” “see what i mean???” *confused looking* “omg where is it” “it’s gonna burn !” “no ! we made that together ! where is it !!!” *even more confused and stressed looking* “I DONT KNOW “ *harmonised screaming* “wait no no no it’s fine i’ll just turn the heat off for now” “oh thank god you’ve saved us,,, wait nvm no need i found it !” “where was it?” “oh the counter right next to us” “omg”
they’re the only ones who can see each others like ugly cackle only for bff snorty loud yet so silent laugh (please tell me you know what one i’m talking about)
the amount of times they’ve gotten in trouble for laughing so much omg
one time richie made them “hold hands” with their feet
she got punched but she got a picture so it’s worth it
their contact photos for eachother are the both best and worst pictures they have of the other
no other losers can see them
stozier eyes only
they definitely had one of those joint bff instagram accounts when they were like 12
omg musically
they had a shared account on musically too and it is the best thing ever made
HOLY SHIT ITS A GOLD MINE
“honey you already know i’m the slomo queen” and it’s just them doing some stupid ass spin with glasses on or something
stan has glasses
reading kinda glasses not like richies blind ass ones
omg no stan being farsighted is so funny to me tho i’ve thought about it before
like she can see birds like a mile away but walks into every fucking pole ever
she just can’t see them (how?? idk)
they share clothes
obviously
but when one of them comes over to the others house for a sleepover they just immediately change into whatever clothes is there
shared wardrobe
y’know my dad once put on my sisters jeans and they fit
sorry back on topic
i hate to be the one to say it but
they were each other’s first kiss and you can not tell me they weren’t
it’s up to you how it happens but it did
stans scared of spiders and richie takes advantage of that as much as possible (within reason she’s not an asshole)
she used the like spider on your face filter r to scare stan and it worked
she horror screams every time
THIS MASSIVE FUCKING SPIDER JUST CRAWLED OVER ME AND ITS LOST WTF
no no no fuck this no no
FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK OFF NO
kms
i meant “i’m” but like yeah sure
anyways i’m sleeping downstairs tonight
they make up insane stories about stans bat mitzvah bc they were the only losers there
they shoot the straw wrappers at each other no doubt
have been mistaken for a couple too many times to count
they hold hands when they’re out and about (cause stan feels anxious and needs constant reassurance that she’s not gonna be left alone, also cause bffs)
they’ve got like ten of the bff necklaces and bracelets
like those wee bacon and egg ones that have the words “best” and “friends” on it
(stan got the bacon one)
they’re both lactose intolerant but have ice cream dates
whenever they have like picnics stan always brings perfectly cut fruit and nice sandwiches and food and stuff and richie brings all the snacks that they both like
stans like the mum who makes the cute little bentos
soup making omg
they’ve 100% cosplayed like heather chandler and veronica and like oh god i don’t wanna say it but bakudeku HDHSJXBHXHAJSNSN
i’m sorry but it’s funny
it was unintentional at first tho
richie was doing the deku voice for a tiktok and stan was telling her to stfu and people ran with it
WHY IS THAT SO FUNNYHXVSHXB BHSKSMSM N JEJNS
they’ve definitely ugly cried together
well of course
but it still had to be said
and like cuddles awwwwww
also they genuinely love eachother
whether it’s romantic or platonic they are like soulmates to me
well to me all the losers are soulmates but stozier are just the ultimate best friends
okay y’know what i’m gonna end this here
also i have no clue how to do the read more things apologies
oh and if anyone has any tips on how to do it in the mobile that would be so appreciated !!!
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merrysithmas · 4 years ago
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hi! i don’t know if we’ve ever chatted before, but you were on my dash with some good stucky content and i thought i’d send some, too? if that’s okay? i love the thought of steve and bucky being best friends above anything— they were like that before they were lovers! i think that’s always forgotten in favor of romance. but in that sense, that means like,,, inside jokes!!! kicking each other under tables and clowning each other for funny faces they make!!! laughing during sex!! tugging at each other’s earlobes and hair and poking and prodding and just generally being menaces!! wrestling matches that end in soft kisses, only for bucky to go back to wrestling because he’s “gonna win no matter what, rogers”. anyway, sorry i rambled, just,,, good best friend to lovers shit
omg a thousand times YES!! this is my most favorite thing about them! this very real, raw, plainspoken, ride-or-die, hard luck circumstance, devotion and friendship they have for one another! preserum/prewar stucky is the whole reason why i started liking this ship in the first place like 🥺 it's that foundation of such SIMPLE PURE affection and closeness which in contrast makes the epic sprawl of their relationship so incredibly poignant and beautiful!
-like kicking their feet off the docks at Coney Island! spending all their money on hotdogs like idiots, Bucky has INSANE aim at the shoot-to-win carnival games and Steve's slack-jawed stunned about it. Bucky can't stop grinning and Steve's elbowing him in the side amiably as they walk. Steve dragging his feet to church with his strict as all hell Irish immigrant mother on Sundays and then making a B-line to Bucky's house the second he can breakaway after mass, scrambling through the alleyways of Brooklyn down their "secret passages". Bucky climbing the fire escape to Steve's window (Bucky was a Romeo back in the day) before romance even caught their thoughts.
-The first time Steve ever rode in an honest-to-god automobile was Bucky's father's car, before he died, before the Crash bankrupted everyone's dreams and accounts and hearts, before the barely more than hardluck Barnes' lost everything Steve never had and more. Steve knowing exactly where Bucky keeps his worn-to-hell dress shoes that he breaks out every time he goes dancing. How much those old awful shoes mean to him.
-The way Steve notices how Bucky's too-easy and bright to be real smile pops up only in the most dubious of moments, how Dot and Jennie and Enid never seem to make him laugh as positively red-faced and ugly as Steve does when they're just shooting the shit and Steve's sketching down the cityscape at sunset on the fire escape, making some hideously inappropriate joke that makes Bucky gag with laughter.
-The one-and-only time Steve ever cried after a fight when his orbital bone above his eye was cracked and his skin was raw as hell and maybe even on its way to infection, the time it hurt so bad he saw stars (and not in the good way, the sometimes bad high-chasing way he fought people way too big and too mean for him precisely because it was against his better judgement, and preened his worser insecurities), and Bucky's mucking around noisily in the kitchen clanging pots and pans trying not to rip his own hair out with wanting to hover and smother him, and eventually just presses a hot cloth with soap straight to it when Steve emerges red-eyed from the bathroom, and Steve's howling in pain from the soap, and Bucky's more pissed than anything now - maybe even holding his head against it a little too hard on purpose, goddamnit Steve he was three times your size, you want someone to kick your ass? How bout me huh? Huh?
-Bucky promising to go to the Met with Steve, finally making it up to Central Park together on the best day of autumn, leaves falling around them like a wonderland and they can't even believe their luck... something so simple and perfect. Roasted chestnuts at the holidays from streetcarts and their hands burning up from them because they dont even have gloves in this horrible wintry cold but it was worth the whole 3 cents and pricked up fingertips anyway.
-When Steve broke his nose and Bucky set it, the loudest string of curse words ever uttered or known to man. Listening to Dodgers games on the radio, standing up and sitting down and running their hands through their hair in agitation, screaming at the announcer, windows open, hot summer again, clothes drying on the clotheslines hung up across the alley.
-The way Bucky watches Steve's face when he's looking at one of those big mournful paintings hanging in the Met... like he's looking at heaven itself, or even better, learning to appreciate things down here for what they are just a little bit more. How Steve looks like the pale and fantastic figures in those paintings, how it's always so quiet in the museum hallways but Steve is lit up and alive, how Bucky tries to focus in on these concepts of art and structure and composition that he initially thinks are way above him - for Steve.
-Steve half asleep on the Barnes' couch as Bucky ties Becca's hair up in a ribbon for her date with Richard, and he's dozing to the sounds of the radio and the city outside. Bucky having Steve over for every Romanian holiday, Bucky's cousins making him drink Țuică and Bucky's mom making Bucky tell Steve about the dream she had that she's convinced is a premonition about Steve and a Red-Faced Monster...
sigh!
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musubiki · 4 years ago
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Hello!! I've followed you on twitter for a while for your pokemon stuff, but stayed for your cute ocs and art style! I really adore your comics, and I was wondering if it's okay to share some tips or tutorials on how you make them (panels/expression/dialogue)? Or maybe just your general process!! I also want to improve on drawing comics and you have been a big inspiration 💕
AAAA THANK U SO MUCH!!! 😭💖💖💖 IM JUS GONNA PUT SOME TIPS CUZ DOING A WHOLE TUTORIAL WOULD TAKE TOO MUCH TIME I THINK,,,these are just newbie tips cuz i dont rly know what im doing so far either 😭😭😭
- i always do the script for a comic first!!! and i usually wait a while between doing the script and actually drawing it since i usually end up changing/thinking up new ideas after a few days!!
- ive read that a good way to break panels is “one panel per emotion”!! so dont try to fit like 3 different emotions into one panel!! (BUT ive seen official mangas like GSNK bend that rule and they end up putting normal tone at the beginning of one panel and ending it with an angry tone without the characters face changing!! that also can work!!)
- i just put one tone over the whole page and set it to overlay. my stupid ass is too tired to give each hair/article of clothing a different tone (unless you wanna make ur character stand out a bit more, like all my characters right now are just gonna have normal toned hair but i wanna give taffy sandpaper toned hair)
- i try not to break up my script into pages, but instead i open a canvas, and make boxes according to how i picture it in my head!! before i used to pre-break the script into pages just to find out the pacing was weird/off and found its better to go back and forth between your script and your comic page so you can make boxes as you go if that makes sense????
- like sometimes you might wanna add an extra pause panel because one wasnt enough, or something like that, its better to just add it instead of having to go back and re-seperate your whole script again
- Clip studio has a lot of manga panel/page resources but i am too lazy to figure it all out so i just use the grid and put boxes how i want using the grid as a guide!!
- gotta decide which colors classify into which monochrome color 👁👁 mine is a little funky cuz obviously pastel pink is lighter than the orange of limes hair, yet limes hair is white in my comic and the pastel pink is a light gray..,,.,,just gotta work with your colors to make sure theres not too many similar grays right next to each other or else it gets confusing/hard to see 😭
- BIG TIP: if a panel is ugly, just accept it. dont spend 5+ hours trying to make it absolutely perfect cuz lemme tell you, you can draw a whole ass mona lisa of a panel and 90% of people will spend 2 seconds on it reading the dialouge and will just move on and forget about it cuz theyre trying to read the story. no one will notice or care it looks a little off (unless its one of those PAGE LONG panels AND/OR the pic is the main focus of the panel then yknow,,,,obviously u gotta make it nice. but if its just “i need a picture for this dialouge panel” dont worry too much. it ees what it ees.)
- figure out what process works best for you!! whether its “i sketch all my pages, then line all my pages, then color all my pages, etc” or “i do one whole page at a time and dont move on until its fully colored and texted up” or “i skip around depending on what panels i want to draw more” (me)!!! 
- its a learning process!! for me too!!! im sure in a month or a year you’ll know a lot more about comic making if you make more comics!!! first page is gonna look bad anyway. just gotta power through pages like a steamboat and not look back at them and hopefully you’ll eventually get to a point where you can read your own comics without cringing (im not there yet shdhdjdjd)
- for me, making comics is just a continuous process of “this panel is ugly” and “i hope im conveying the right emotion” and “i hope the read understands this part”, and the whole time youre doing it just repeating “its fine, its fine, its fine,” over and over again until your comic is finished
- EDIT: ONE MORE!!!!!! you only need a minimum of one background panel per page just to remind the reader of the environment!!!! no need to have background on every panel!!! have some pattern/plain backgrounds too!!!
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tiniechankai · 6 years ago
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my favourite sailor moon season 1 episodes
since i’m rewatching the sailor moon series (again...) i thought i would rank all my favourite episodes from each season then compile them all together and see which episode is my absolute favourite of the entire show. considering i have no idea what my favourite episode is... maybe i’ll know now, hah. 
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Episode 8 - The Girl Genius Is a Monster: The Brainwashing Cram School of Horror
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so uh... as a stressed student i can relate to this a lot. the kids going into the cram school is me going into school every morning. this is definitely not my favourite episode of the season but the introduction to ami is really sweet, especially when people whisper about ami behind her back but then when usagi actually meets her, ami ends up being the sweetest girl. 
i also just love the fact that ami freaking owned everyone in that arcade on the sailor v game?? like wow feminism right there
Episode 10 - The Cursed Bus: Enter Mars, the Guardian of Fire
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mars is my favourite inner senshi and she’s honestly so cool in this episode. this is probably the only episode in the entire series where she’s quite akin to her manga self, and while i love her in the anime, i think her aloof manga self is great too. it’s interesting to me to get a look into japanese culture through shinto. watching this as a kid i had no idea what was really japanese religion and such so learning about this was cool (i had like 4 sailor moon episodes and they were all the introductory episodes to the senshi). also the bus was really freaky and scary and just what the heck. rei’s reaction to jadeite is also quite funny (she basically has heart palpitations of him, and not the good kind)
Episode 17 - Usagi's a Model: The Flash of the Monster Camera
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one of the few episodes that aren’t the finale that i can tell you that usagi kicks some legitimate ass in here. like what a badass! i can’t say i know the last time usagi has done this, hah. this entire episode includes everyone telling usagi she can’t be a model because she’s not a good enough person or she’s not pretty enough. i mean even mamoru is back being the asshole he is in this first season, even though he goes on about how she won’t be picked because she’s not pretty on the inside and what not (like wth dude you don’t even know her) but usagi is picked anyways (like everyone who signed up but... whatever) and then she is left alone to fight the youma and then she is to fight the monster by herself. she does so by cleverly using the mirrors. one of the saddest bits in the show is when he family is watching the tv while usagi is asleep in her room they talk about how they wish usagi was as great as the girl who saved the photographer’s life (sailor moon) but ?? do they not care about the factt that usagi was AT THAT PHOTOSHOOT?? GETTING ATTCKED?? i know they don’t know she’s sailor moon but heck she was there she might’ve been attacked. the tsukino household can be so annoying sometimes hfksdh i digress
Episode 20 - The Summer, the Beach, Youth and Ghosts
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this is a genuinely hilarious episode. poor mitsuishi kotono, she spent most of the episode screaming at the ghosts lmao. i like this episode because we see the girls get up to their usual loud shenanigans (and hell i love me a beach episode). this is also a episode about a heavy topic of a girls’ father forcing herself into a duty she is too young to deal with. it gets pretty dark too and i can see why they didn’t put this into the dic dub (she literally starts CRYING and i get these sort of like... really bad rape vibes. I KNOW HE’S HER FATHER BUT IT’S SO GROSS). anyways, it’s really dark but has it’s funny moments as we focus on some other characters, it’s a really good beach ova. 
Episode 21 - Protect the Children's Dreams: Friendship Through Anime
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this episode is so great, i really do love it. it might might be my favourite in the season. i just love these two friends a lot, especially hiromi as a character (the shorthaired one). hiromi deals with being jealous over her friend’s sketches in animating and it gets so bad that nephrite has to come by with his stupid self and ruin everything. anyone with low self esteem such as hiromi can relate to constantly feeling like you’re in the shadow of your colleagues, your best friend. nephrite’s episodes tend to be my favourite because we see that our actions, when we are selfish and snobby that it affects others a lot. even though i despise nephrite his episodes have become a favourite of mine. 
Episode 28 - The Painting of Love: Usagi and Mamoru Get Closer
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one of the few episodes where mamoru isn’t a complete ass to usagi (i think?) and he’s actually kinda ... civil with her. he still treats her like a child but i mean she acts like one so... i like this episode a lot because you can really see the difference in usagi and mamoru with the help of this really cute artist lady yumemi. i also think it’s really funny how usagi even meets yumemi is because she’s going to call out mamoru for cheating on rei lmao. this episode is really nice just because it starts more heavily foreshadowing about mamoru and usagi’s backseat relationship.
Episode 31 - Love and Chased: Luna's Worst Day Ever
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if you don’t like this episode then there’s GOT to be something wrong with you. this episode is pure crackhead goodness while we get a spoof of sailor moon’s own show with loveable luna and righteous rhett butler, luna’s love interest before we even knew artemis’ name. this episode is just pure gold and this might be my second favourite episode of the season, not gonna lie. when i saw the cat bone instead of tuxedo mask’s rose, i remember laughing so hard i couldn’t breathe. i love this show.
Episode 37 - Let's Become a Princess: Usagi's Bizarre Training
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being princess hard. not my favourite episode for any particular reason other than it’s REALLY enjoyable to watch. i also just love how usagi sucks at literally everything i suck at and she is just so relateable in this episode. i also love how she’s not the only one who sucks at ballroom dancing, minako can’t dance and rei is too much of a dom to let the other guy lead. feminism!
Episode 38 - The Snow, the Mountains, Friendship and Monsters
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this episode marks one of my favourites because it begins rei’s total understanding of usagi’s relationship with mamoru and this continues from this episode until SAILOR STARS (yes i know she was kinda understanding of usagi in episode 35 but she also slapped usagi so...) but this episode is full of clumsy usagi goodness and the great friendship of usagi and rei. 
Episode 43 - Usagi Abandoned: The Falling-Out of the Sailor Guardians
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i love these sorts of episodes, and just like the previous one, we get even MORE usarei friendship moments and i’m LIVING for it. even the senshi think mars actually hates usagi but noooppppe she’s actually her bestie. this is a great episode.
Episode 44 - Usagi's Awakening: A Message from the Distant Past
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ok so i don’t really like mamoru and usagi BUT i like serenity and endymion. this backstory episode is GREAT and i wish i had a short show based around fun at the moon kingdom because that would be great? i love sailor moon don’t get me wrong but i don’t like mamoru and usagi. cough. this episode gives off a more ethereal quality and is sucha beautiful episode animation wise. 
Episode 46 - Usagi's Eternal Wish: A Brand New Life
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while the last episode was HEARTWRENCHINGLY SAD i can’t get over how sad this episode is. not even mentioning how awesome it is when the beginning of moonlight densetsu comes on when usagi pull out her moon wand. this episode rips me apart because while i dislike usagi and mamoru this dialogue just makes me so sad “Live a normal life. Find a cool boyfriend.” “Nobody’s cooler than you.” AND I CRIED. nobody’s cooler than you, the asshole who called me fat, stupid, and ugly for 30 episodes. but whatever, i’m still sad. and then usagi’s monologue at the ending (i’m not a big fan of kae araki as usagi but i still... love the monologue so much) and just wow. what a great ending. 
this was more episodes then i expected
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knight-gwaine · 7 years ago
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i keep talkin bout you bc youre my only real way of measuring my progress. you were the best and worst. yesterday or honestly whenever, i made posts along the lines of some shit like you suck ass, which ya do, but if you got your life together we could be friends or sum. but i mean. that’s a concept. what i’m realising is that every day, i’m getting further away from you. and that is a GOD DAMN BLESSING. i say all these nice things but thats for the fake fun and great version of you that exists in my head as just a comforting thought when i feel like thinking about love. but damn, i keep forgetting until i really think about it that, i literally am so fucking happy to be away. i am so happy we never have to be friends again and talk and shit. because you /seem/ cool, especially when we barely talk but if i had to actually deal with you. id rather punch myself in the god damn face. also wow it sucks that id still be down for your dick bc you be lookin like a god damn mess like eww??? i barely /actually/ see you and then when i do i realise oh yeah this b for real aint shit. like i wonder what he is actually getting done w his life. and okay, any progress is great. like if you on your own are trying. great. thats fantastic like im proud of you. everyobe works at their own pace. but in terms of me being friends w you. nah b, you lame as fuck. i aint got time for that. i have been meeting waaayy too many incredible peoole this year and have done waaay to many incredible things to be settlin for someone like you. idk dude. i see you. i hear things about you. i see the shit you do and say and i know you cant judge someone really unless you really get to know em or whatever but sometimes peoples social media and their friends can say a looooottt about them. a lot. and i do not. ever. wanna. fuck. w. you. HEEELLL NOOO.
as much as i wish for myself to never speak of you again and all that. i dont think thats going to happen for a long time. three years is a long time. even if this one seems to have lasted forever, three years is longer. and thinking back on all of it helps me realise how much ive progressed. and how much i keep progressing every day. i literally can only remember one. one. bad day. through this whole year. only one. maybe two? i remember one bad moment? but ive only ever had one bad day.
it is such a feeling. to finally. be free. all my emotions are controlled by me. i never feel depressed and alone on a cloudy quiet sunday. i never feel dreary when its pouring rain out. i never feel affected by the mundane weather. because i have done so much and i honestly will never stop. because what is the point in not trying to have fun and live your best life every moment of your life? fr that one song by anderson paak, i aint never comin down. i spent too much time bein scared and believing i was incapable and antisocial and no one likes me or whatever. but how do people get rid of their fears? you go out and face it. i feel like i can do almost anything now, im not gonna lie. like, if i really want to. because thats genuinely all it takes. if you WANT to do something, you will find a way to do it. so you will succeed. if you WANT to, even if theres everything stopping you, you find a way around it. once you realise that, nothing fucking stops you. i say this same old stuff over and over again but it just took me so long to learn and you hear about it but you never believe it. i still am amazed every day by how my life is now.
i have met some of the most phenomenal and successful people this year. i never would’ve thought first of all that they would even like me or want to talk to me but you would be damn well surprised by people’s kindness. growing up sheltered and being called annoying, dumb, and all other things, you end up believeing no one will like you its just automatic. this year, got to become friends with my favourite people that i always wanted to hang out with. i got to befriend amazing artists and photographers that are huge in my town. everyone who meets me automatically wants to be my friend. even strangers?? random people that sit next to me in class. doing leads you to meet people. and meeting people leads you to doing. its a fantastic cycle if you think about it. life is never boring. i appreciate all the small little things in my life so much more now. everything. if you arent happy with your life, find a way to make yourself happy. you arent stuck unless you give up and stop trying to change yourself. these. are the reasons why i wouldnt want you back in my life. my life is too phenomenal now. my life is too fantastic for you to be in you wouldnt fit. plus, i think im way too positive for you now. and i unapologetically love myself and every aspect of who i am now and i am constantly working on bettering me that i feel like itd just be too much? id be obnoxious to you i feel like?? and youd be boring. you would be boring. i like your interests. i love hearing what you have to say about music and movies and weird random facts but. i also dont trust you to be a good person. after all that you did too, nah. i dont need that negativity. it would be outrageous for me to believe we are connected in anyway. i hope. i mean this in all honesty with my whole being. i hope youre happy w your girl or whateva bc i want you outta mine. she better be takin fuckin care of your dumbass though i stg. i dont care when my boys get w other girls as long as i know their taken care of. vasya when he got w chelsea? immediately got over my crush for him and was happy af bc she was better than me. max, if he gets w anyone aside from cheyenne i will beat his ass. that b better fuckin be pushing you to strive for the best. she better be pushin you to realise your worth and what youre capable of and pushin you to try new things because LIFE IS TOO FUN TO NOT GO OUT AND HAVE FUN. COOK SHIT TOGETHER. GO HIKE. GO DANCE. DO SHIT. GROW UP. THINK SMART.
i fr dont know what the point of this post is im really out here just writin whatever comes to mind. bc one day i’m gonna go back through all my personal posts and ill remember how my life was rn and ill be like damn. that shit was sick as fuck. life was lit as fuck. tbh i think i was just really shook by that photo of you. ive been writing gay shit bout you for a while and then i saw that and i was like OH FUCK ABORT MISSION THAT B UGLY AS HELL AND HAS NO LIFE BACK OUT BACK OUT and now im here. straight shook. yeah. i dont want you in my life. my life is way better without you. i really am an unstoppable force right now. school is a motherfuckin one. friends are fucking precious and successful amazing wholesome human beings that are also out here doin the motherfuckin most im so proud i love all my friends we are all such successful people with amazing futures ahead of us god im so proud im 😭😭😭 we really out here chasin our dreams n shit. aND SUCCEEDIN. and money situation is L I T. ya baby’s got a fine ass mercedes w the best dad in the world getting me AUTOSTART for this cold winter???? ya baby be workin out and doin yoga everyday, abs comin in HOT. ya gurl developin as an artist with her dream school hittin her the FUCK up for her portfolio?? i am a for real artist now but i refuse to realise my big stuff. only sketches for now, dear world. the public eye doesnt need to see me as an artist yet. no. because they always will bc its always me. but no. i gotta act chill. this isnt the artist years of your life yet. you aint settled down yet no. now is time for fun, life, school, that grind 😤😤, and ecology. BE THAT SICK ASS SCIENTIST BITCH. BE SMART AS FUCK AND SAVE THE EARTH.
2017 got three more months left. i already know that im gonna have the funnest fucking time. fam is leavin for xmas and my sister’s moving out?? ff got house parties like wild?? EVERY MONTH??? northern lights are comin out??? you dont have to wake up early for school so you can go chase them??? A N D YOU HAVE A BUNCHA FRIENDS NOW TO GO WITH??? AND WINTER IS COMING SO THERES GONNA BE MORE EVENTS INSIDE TO GO TO??? AND MEET PEOPLE?? AND YA GETTIN MORE HIGHER PAYING JOBS WITH HELLA TIPS??? YES. i said i was gonna make 2017 my bitch. boy the fuck did i and i am gonna end it with a muthafuckin bang.
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