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eliazine · 2 years

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Never Let Me Go 1&2 : Dynamics of power or "Nueng, you should learn to swim !"

So. This is my first meta. I guess the sometimes massives posts I wrote in response to others meta could count but they were in themselves interaction whereas this feel like talking into the void. So please, interact with me :) ? I wrote this to formalise my thoughts about the beginning of never let me go but I would loove to have people agree/disagree with my take and share why :)

I just watched the first two episodes of Never Let Me Go and wanted to pour my thoughts somewhere about the way the serie is handling relationship accross social class so far. Disclaimer : contrary to what this could look like, I do really like Nueng ! This is just the beginning of his character arc and it is a very interesting starting point. I look forward to him and Palm figuring out how to interact in a meaningfull manner.

Nueng is a young heir and Palm is his new bodygard. An important point is that from the other characters point of view, either Nueng isn't supposed to know Palm is an employee himself and not just the son of one (and him figuring it out is a proof that he has some understanding of the way his world works) or like at school, Nueng isn't supposed to know Palm at all.

Nueng is the boss

Nueng decided to treat Palm as a friend with the caveat that when needed he doesn't hesitate to remind them both that he is indeed the boss and that Palm has no say over what is going on between them. Which he does a lot, from little barbs to blackmailing him. Yes, he may not have any intention to use it and not even see it as a big deal : I'm gonna tell your dad you went to swim without permission may not exactly sound menacing to him as a mafia heir because he doesn't realize how much it means to Palm and the way this beginning set the tone of their whole relationship.

Because Palm, his father and maybe his whole family (we don't know about them but siblings, mother, grand-parents ?), are dependant on Nueng and his mother. Apart from their salary, being their bodygard clearly seems to be the core of Palm's father identity. He devoted himself to them, putting aside his own family even if the devotion may also be caused by the fact his job enables him to provide for them. The fact that he would only bring Palm with him when he is needed by his employer is harsh. But from his point of vue, he may have let him just live his own life until this great opportunity came to get a life-long job, a job that he himself deemed worthy to dedicate his life to. So Palm displeasing Nueng would at worst put their whole family in peril, at best be a huge blow to his father by reflecting on him and especially since he was the one to suggest Palm for the job. Both outcomes are to be avoided at all cost.

Why does Nueng act that way : It seems clear that he acts that way in order to protect himself, he does want a friend but doesn't want to be vulnerable. A "genuine" friend could deceive him, have ulterior motive going from small favour towards their university admission to full betrayal. A friend-for-hire doesn't, it may not be as rewarding but at least the risk is minimal. There is a contract between Palm and his family so, on a personal level what Palm mays want from him is taken care of and on the macro level being the son of a trusted employe, he is a safe person too. Can't fault someone to being risk-aversed a few weeks after his father being shot. Still, he needs to always remind himself that he is in control of the situation. He could do it silently but regularly he explicitly state it to Palm which can be seen as cruel but are in fact the moments where he is at least real with him.

Nueng as a "friend"

On the other hand, what I find very interesting is the way he acts when he does believe he is playing the part of a friend. When he invites Palm for breakfast or to carpool, he does it because that what would feel normal to him and so that's what should be. But he doesn't consider the situation he is putting Palm in. By pretending he is a guest, he is alienating him fron the rest of the staff. Because the staff would have to fall in line and treat him the same way, which (even if they would stay fond of him) would deprive him of the sense of easy belonging they provide him in this new place. Especially on the carpool aspect, it would be awfully akward for him to have his own father act as a chauffeur toward him. I liked that they used the school to transpose the same dynamic toward Nueng. By being the same kind of "friendly", the teacher that prevented him to do push-up even though he was also late put him in almost the same situation this time towards his peers students. The only difference being that even in this situation Nueng remains the one that has the power over the teacher. He try to decline the favour and doesn't dare to push it but if he chose to he would face real consequence and it may even greatly help toward others student seeing him as one of their own. Bullies will be bullies, but it could help those that are just intimidated by him to approach him. As it is, Ben is the only one who dares, I think because the fact that he is class president give him both symbolic power countering Nueng's and an incentive to.

It's a simple matter of not being either fish or flesh, which is horribly isolating. And it seems this is something Nueng was never taught to take into consideration, be it as a social tool or a weapon.

But even though, he could at least pick up on the way he makes Palm obviously ill-at-ease. I dare say he can see it, but he just acts as if doesn't matter and doesn't try to make it easier for Palm (well unless we see ordering him as a way to make it easier. indeed it removes the doubt about what Palm should do : just obey, but it makes it a job, the opposite of a shared moment free from what is expected of him). This is what he deemed should be and he seems to expect Palm to just get used to it (because it is so normal ! and shouldn't be any other way ). Which even if we're talking about something as mundane as having breakfast is still a diresgard for consent. In those situations, he is not trying to establish a relationship despite the weight of their respective position, he is just genuinely trying to deny it exists which in a sense put all of it on Palm shoulders until the moment where he bring it back in full force.

Even the way he get his mother to authorize using the pool is done in a way that is explicitly as a favour and not a discreet kindness. I know what you want and I'm giving it to you. But we are nowhere near a "because I like it when you are happy" (I love this line with such a passion) and it's more like a "now you owe me" or at least "see, what a good friend I can be". Again I do believe it is genuinly meant just poorly executed.

What about Palm ?

And no, Palm isn't grateful, happy for the opportunities he is offered etc.. But he isn't profundly hurt by it either because he isn't emotionnaly involved (yet). From where he stands, he understands the game his boss wants to play and just need to find his footing. He needs to do what's expected of him so he can avoid the forementionned consequences while still finding a way to be at ease with his world outside of the game as well as the moments where the game pause. As an aside, their "I always kept my eyes on you" sounded more to me as Palm feeling he was beeing rebuked by his boss and defending himself by denying that he had been distracted from his job by mackye than him wanting Nueng to know he is interested in him. At this stage, I don't think it would be true and if it was he definitly wouldn't express it even as a joke. They are not mates sounding each other out. And even if Nueng intention was to tease him, I don't think it came accross that way.

Is it even worth trying ?

So what could they do ? Is it simply impossible for them to be friend ? For Palm, in his situation he can't really take initiatives and moreover he isn't interested in doing it. He may feel interested by Nueng in some ways but he mainly wants to get on with his job and life. But for Nueng, he Can act in order to create a real friendship and at least at first a better "friend-for-hire" relationship. But, and it is so obvious and crucial, he needs to take Palm into consideration for it to work. He needs to observe or even better ask (but that will only be possible at a latter stage) what put Palm ill at ease and understand (or even better later discuss together) why and find (again better if together) how to improve on it. As this stage, he could discretly offer for Palm to ride in front with his father when the later is driving him to school, he would still let him keep the role of son of an employee while avoiding him the trouble of taking the bus. The breakfast is harder, because sharing a meal is intimate. Maybe later he could try to come and take breakfast in the kitchen with Palm and the cook. As their boss, it could be an invasion of Their personnal space and he would need to be self-conscious and carefull to be sure they are not unconfortable but at least he would be the one enduring the fact that he isn't where he is supposed to be.

He could also try and create situations where he can give Palm some power at least in a relative and localized way. He could go on Palm's ground and put himself out of his own confort zone. He would still ultimatly be the boss and that fact wouldn't be erased but it could be mitigated. (Kinnporsche ep6 was a great example, Porsche being more experimented in the wild allowed them to share moments where he didn't have to defer to Kinn, could even have Kinn defer to him and it greatly contributed to leveling the ground between them so that they could then have meaningful interactions, says sorry and be forgiven etc..)

I was a bit disapointed to see that the pool was (or at least is still for now) a missed opportunity. I'm sure Nueng already knows how to swim but asking Palm, who is a better swimmer and for whom the pool is his natural habitat, to train him would be a great idea. It is a mundane way to create a space for them to easily spend time together, without overtly confronting their employer/employee relationship and with Palm being in a confortable environment and temporarily gaining some form of control over the situation between them. Whereas as a conterexemple, Nueng helping Palm with his chinese is quite nice from him but works as a reinforcement of their general dynamic. It puts Palm in a situation where he is in a weak spot and risks Pueng loosing patience with him if he doesn't succeed well/quickly enough.

To be continued

I find this subject fascinating and look forward to the way the scriptwriters will adress it. The fact that the firsts episodes put such an emphase on it gives me hope that it will be well adressed.

We are all Mafia Heirs

I will also use this post as a reminder to myself and anyone interested in it that all of us should be careful of the way we act when in position of power or symbolic power. We do not need to be head of mafia/heirs/millionnaires/bosses to have to take those things into consideration because, as Bourdieu would says Dynamics of Power are Everywhere (may I says I mention him mainly so you could go and check his work out if it interest you, I intends to do it myself and am by no means an expert). No matter how friendly, approachable or even weak we feel, we can all become intimidating to others by way of being : an established member of a friend group, at a more than beginner level in a given activity, a senior in the company, the host, the organizer of an event or of some club/association activity, a member of the majority of the current context (be it by our gender, race, orientation, religion, age etc…) . For now, the best ways I found to mitigate it (and I'm very interested in yours !) are indeed to recognise when I am in a position of symbolic power and stay observant of other people reactions to pick up on the moments where they seem unconfortable. And my favorite tool is try and make them talk about, or participate with them to things they are better at than me (and woah, did I learn interesting things that way !). It level the ground and help to make people feels able to be more natural in our interactions.

As an aside tip, I found that reminding myself of it also works in making me more at ease with someone who has symbolic (or explicit) power over me. Yes they are the teacher of my sport club, an important person in the work hierarchy, an expert is this field I'm interested in, their meta/fic as so awesome, but this is not the whole of their person and the situation could even be inverted if they were to come on the parts of my ground where I would end up being the intimidating one. So let's suppose they would like to interact in a normal way (because most people do and very often aren't aware they could even come accross as intimidating) and mentally mitigate or even decline to recognise any power they have over me so we can just interact in a confortable way as the human peers we all are.

The end !

Did anyone read until the end ? ^^ If so have a very nice day ! (and please tell me your thought on my take ! ;) )

#never let me go #never let me go meta #nlmg meta #nuengpalm #post i wrote #never let me go ep1 #never let me go ep2 #it took so much longer than I thought #I feel like I should try to make it more palatable by adding images and such but I still have a lot to do today #and I still feel like I forgot a lot #all my respect to all the meta writers out there !#so I will just post and maybe improve it later

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2smolbeans · 1 month

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im in the mood for some angst ............. 🐺🐺🖤anyways can u do how any of the brothers would react if they originally were only dating mc for a bet but then after a couple months of dating they actually grew feelings for mc but then mc found out it was for a bet

Ouch that's cold..Anyways here are some thoughts I had based on that lool XD Thank you for the request!

*Bonus, Mc is a demon/sinner in hell and ofc cause this is a yandere blog- there a yandere twist:

Edit: I tried and the writing is kinda cringey lol -- This took so long aahfajnvsk-

Dating for a Bet..

Yandere: Mammon , Leviathan, x Sinner/Demon Mc

Tags: Mentions of Admiral Levi, Casino owner Mammon, angst, stalking, toxic behavior idk, reader referred to as 'you', fem reader for mammon and male reader for Levi, blackmail, power imbalance/dynamics, major world building that isn't canon but my own head canons, takes place in the 80s or 90s, kinda cringe writing, this went unedited, also I wrote a lot of words.

Mammon:

It was a wild night for the avatar of greed. The night was young and he was relishing in the chanting hype of praise. As the owner of Devildom's hottest casino, all eyes were on him as he held the cards in his hands- face to face with an old powerful witch. He couldn't lose, he was confident that he had all the right cards on his deck. He looked at his cards, and then at the powerful sorcerer who had a crowd of witches surrounding her. She looked at him with a knowing look, smirking. "Avatar of greed, I want to make a deal" Mammon rested his chin against the palm of his hand, still holding his cards. "Mhn, sure. What are the terms?" She smiled, placing down a card. "If you win, I give you 15,000 grimm, my collection of ancient jewels, gems, and gold. As well as a custom potion for extra good measure." His ears perked, Mammon was sold the moment jewels and gold were mentioned. "Deal" the witch laughed as she heard his forward answer. "You won't even question the loss?" Mammon couldn't help but smirk, looking at the demons behind him who snickered. "Me? Lose? Yeah, we'll see" And soon enough, the avatar of greed would swallow his own pride.

He lost, and swiftly too. He couldn't help but be impressed, but also ashamed to have lost in his own casino. Groaning, he threw down his cards while everyone cheered for the witch. He could hear the smugness in her voice as she spoke. "So..It seems like I have won. You know what that means" "Yeah yeah, I gotta admit it. Ya sure beat me! Alright lets get this over now" "Now wait, come with me."

He was confused at first, but then quickly brushed it aside as he stood up from his seat. The avatar of greed and the powerful witch were now alone in a booth area, demons dancing in the background as music echoed. She leaned in close, speaking in his ear. "Black dress with the slit on the leg. The one with the shiny gold chains. I want you to talk to her. Go out with her for a bit, show her a good time. She's a very nice girl." "What?!" "Take her out on a date or two. Nothing serious." Mammon looked at you from a distance, watching you stand there awkwardly in the crowd. "Her?!" "Yes! We shook on it and I won. So go on!"

Mammon was a demon of his word, and he was all about fair game. So, he walked up to you, leaning against the wall while you held your drink. "Hey, you new here?" You laughed, looking at the avatar of greed. "That's one way to open up a conversation around here" "Hey hey, I'm just being friendly. No ulterior motives!" Mammon exclaimed, putting his palms out to defend himself. "Pffft, uh-huh, okay. Sure thing my lord~" you giggled, rolling your eyes.

It was all a blur for Mammon, next thing he knew, the both of you were out of the casino. He had taken you out to the city, walking around as the night life was alive. You talked, and he honestly wasn't paying attention- more focused on the jewels that glistened on you. "So, Mammon.. How are you?" Huh? Oh, right. Mammon thought, snapping back to reality. "I'm aight, just enjoying this right now.. So, you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend?" You laughed, putting a hand on your mouth out of embarrassment shortly after of how loud of a laughter it was. "Sorry- no I don't. Currently single right now. Why? You interested?" Mammon smirked, snaking an arm around your shoulders. "What if I am?" You let out a snort, feeling your face heat up. "I mean.. Okay? I don't know?? Are you serious?" "Of course! I'm serious. I mean is it wrong for a guy to shoot his shot at a pretty girl like you?" "I mean.. No? But me? Are you sure? Wait, is that why you..?" "C'mon, one date. I take you out, wine and dine ya, and at the end of we part our ways. No pressure, I ain't in love or anything" You stop for a moment, and he stops with you. You give his offer a thought, and for a moment you think of rejecting him. But looking at THE Mammon, you knew this was a once in a lifetime offer. "Y'know what? Fuck it, yes!" "Now that's the spirit! Cool! Here lemme give you my number.. I'll figure out something. Now, where do ya live? I'll fly you there"

He took you on two dates, all of them being a foggy memory to him. You were happy with him during all of them, in disbelief that the Mammon himself was giving his time and attention to you. You enjoyed those small dates, even if it wasn't extravagant. After the 2nd date, you knew that it was over, it was fun while it lasted. It was a casual fling, and you didn't expect one of the rulers of hell to settle down for some witch. But two weeks later, he came back..

With flowers in one hand and a luxury gift box in another, Mammon was outside your door. There was a genuine look of awe in his eyes, like he was smitten by your shocked expression. "Mammon..?" "Hey princess, say.. Ya wanna go out?" "Aww..Mammon, you're so sweet but.." There was a panic in his eyes as you trailed off. "O-Oh, how come?" "No no! It's not anything. It's very sweet of you..It's just that I have to run errands today. Some woman wants a special spell to curse her cheating husband sooo..Y'know? Duty calls!" He felt the weight in his chest lift as you explained your situation to him. "Ah..Well..You want any help-" "Fucking yes please come in"

Without a struggle, Mammon was able to help with the creation of the spell. With no hesitation, he spoke in an old demonic language, nothing you ever heard of with such fluency. He wrote down the words on a notepad you've given him, passing it to you once he was done. "Here's the most simplistic English version. The abbreviations y'know?" You looked at the paper, laughing in amazement. With gratitude, you hugged him without a thought. "Oh my fucking- Mammon I love you so much! Ugh fuck! I could just kiss you!" It didn't take long for you to process what you had said to the avatar of greed. Blushing, you awkwardly step back. "Uh, oh, sorry. That was a bit.." "Why don't ya?" You were taken a back. "Huh..?" He stepped closer, leaning close to your face with a dazed expression. "Why don't ya? I deserve some gratitude don't I?" It started off with a small peck. You were quick to kiss him on the cheek, your face turning red. Mammon chuckled, teasing you. "Aww babe, you call that a kiss? C'mon, lemme show ya what a real kiss looks like.." things got heated the moment his lips pressed against yours. He was selfish, not allowing you to move your head away, even if was for a short breath. He didn't bother letting you take the lead, ignoring your small pleas of letting you calm down. It was overwhelming, possessive, and amazing to say the least. You're laying on his chest, your skin bare against his, your head moving as he breaths in and out. "I think I love you.." Mammon admits. "I think I love you too.." you sighed, closing your eyes as you cuddle into him.

Like a crow attracted to a shiny coin, he couldn't tear his eyes away from you. You made him go feral. Was it your looks? Not really. He's seen more people attractive than you. Power? You were just a typical witch. Your voice? He didn't know, but it never failed to make him melt into a puddle. Was it the way you gifted him things, shiny jewels that had him in thought? It definitely had to be when you praised him, or how addicting it was when you purposely wore bold lipstick, kissing him on the cheek, smirking how he was yours.

Whatever spell you put on him, it worked. Cause now he was head over heels for you. Head over heels to the point he followed you around, always conveniently popping up with a smile. So in love that he often takes a few things of yours that you consider junk as his treasures. He's so genuinely hexed by your existence that he can't help but feel agitated whenever you don't pay attention to him for as long as he wants. Especially when you're talking to someone else. God does he just want to bust their head open for prying your eyes away from him.

Your relationship with Mammon is smooth. He spoils you with his love and attention, though when it came to the materialistic aspects- he was a bit of a cheapskate. You didn't put it against him though, it was in his nature. Mammon was kind of in disbelief to say the least. He never thought he would've been deeply in love with a simple witch in hell. It started off as a stupid bet! Hell during those first 3 dates with you, he rolled his eyes and smirked whenever people asked if he actually loved you. He had multiple girlfriends, boyfriends, and partners in the past, but he never thought of the long term future with them. But with you. Oh, did the thought pop up here and there. Who would've thought that the boring chick he had to date from a shameful loss would be the love of his life.

But, that would all come crashing down the moment you stopped smiling. You were distant, passive with him whenever he'd speak to you. He'd ask you what was wrong, and you'd brush him off. He'd ask again, knowing you were lying, and you'd deter him. He'd persist at you, and eventually you cracked. "I heard from my fellow witch sisters about you.." You admitted, not looking at him. "I'm surprised he went that far! They said.." His heart dropped, fearing the next words you were about to say. "I was a bet, a joke. " He could see in your eyes of how used you felt. "Baby honey..No I promise. You were not a joke. I love you! I really do! You're everything to me" You laughed, looking saddened. "When did you start liking me? He was quick to answer, holding your hands as he looked into your eyes. "Our third date when I realized you were the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me" You looked at him, listening. "You're my treasure, I love ya. Please, please understand me" You wanted to believe him, you wanted to fully give into him, kiss him and promise to start fresh. But, you couldn't get past the knowledge knowing he had only talked with you because of a bet he lost from your mentor. It was a punch to the gut, it really hurt. I mean who were you kidding, THE Mammon himself actually settling down with a witch like you? It was a wakeup call, a much needed one. It was probably for your best, and possibly own safety. Afterall, the worse they were, the higher the title. It's always been like that. And Mammon was a demon at the highest of highest of titles, no one but the royal king and his servant could get past that. "I'm sorry Mammon, I think I need some time.." "W-What, why?! You know I love you, c'mon please don't do this to me" he begged, his voice rising with desperation as you stepped away. "Mammon, you gotta understand how I feel. Our first 3 dates, I did everything to make you like me. I was so glad that you even looked at me! I gave you my all, just to find out it was for nothing." "But it wasn't! Why aren't you listening to me?!" You sighed exasperated, turning away from Mammon, briefly spacing yourself away from him. "Mammon I'm trying okay? Just please, leave me alone" He begged, going on his knees, looking into your eyes panicked. "Baby don't leave me, please we can make this work. I love you, YOU love me! Please you love me don't leave me-" he repeated his pleas like a prayer, a desperate cry as he looked into your eyes, reading your thoughts of leaving him. Disturbed, you knitted your brows and cringed, unsure of what to do as the avatar of greed cried at your feet. It would be worse to deny the powerful demon lord when he was already uncontrollable, so you knelt to him, trying your best to comfort him, even if it costed your comfort. "I'm not gonna break up with you Mammon, I promise.. I just need some time alone" Your words seemed to convince him since he had wiped his tears and calmed his breathing. "Do you still love me?" You took a deep breath. "Of course I do"

He left you alone for a few days after that incident, respecting your wish. You would've never thought that the second born sin would be so sensitive and fragile. It broke your heart seeing Mammon vulnerable that day, of course you still loved him. It's why you called him after a few days, feeling your heart flutter when he looked at you with high spirits when you asked him on another date. Ever since that confrontation, Mammon was more clingier than ever. Always having an arm wrapped around your shoulder, his face often close to yours. It was obvious Mammon was insecure about his relationship with you, even if he seemed confident and the same careless Mammon. You loved him, but it was hard to get over the fact that you were only with him because of a bet, and Mammon knew. He could read you like an open book, and with the way you were more reserved around him, he knew you were still not over it. He became intense, you thought maybe this was a rough patch, that this awkward awful feeling would pass, but it didn't- it got worse. You were slowly falling out of love and more or so with Mammon out of fear and pity. It wasn't helping that Mammon was starting to get more demanding.

Buy him gifts, go out with him, 24/7 you were always by his side and it was draining. He would spoil you, lavish you in the prettiest of jewels, calling you those special names you loved like his "precious gem", "treasure" and the what not. He treated you better than before, spoiled you if anything. But it never won you over, unfortunately, you lost interest in Mammon ever since you confronted him. You asked your fellow sisters for advice, and in response they laughed at you. "Mammon? Oh honey he'll be fine. You know how many he's dumped or moved on from? Just break it off nicely and I'm pretty sure he won't send you to the nine circles or chop your head off! He's the chill one y'know? Unlike.. Well yeah" after hours of talking and reassurance, you got the courage to talk to Mammon.. and break things off. Surprisingly, it didn't go bad as you thought it would.

He just looked at you, not saying a word, not really showing if he was sad or angry. He accepted it and left. You thought that things were finally over, that your relationship with Mammon was one of those things that would happen once and that you could brag to others as a life time experience. But, once again, were wrong. Trapped in a room where Mammon had kept you, surrounded by the shiniest jewels and luxury pillows. A strong magic kept you from leaving the room, you couldn't leave, even if you tried to cast any spells to let you out. There was a painful ring on your finger, a golden ring. Taking it off was painful, it left your body burning, twisting, heavy and dizzy with pain. You couldn't take it off, and from what you were told, the ring was skillfully crafted by Mammon to have him always connected with your body and mind. How did you get here? You really don't remember, but you knew it was at least a month after you had cut off Mammon. He was constantly on you, his body always next to yours, his eyes always drinking you in, his voice often asking of you. He was greedy for your attention, eager for your affection. And when you didn't give it to him, he simply touched the ring on his finger, and suddenly, you were at his beck and call from the pain. You didn't kiss him when he went to get something, even though he's told you so many times of how much he needs you to always love on him. Your head was now pounding and screaming from the sensation of your ring finger searing from the metal that began to burn. But even when that wasn't enough, Mammon knew how to push the dial even further. Constant grabbing, unwanted kisses, demands for gifts and affection, Mammon was unsatiable. Even if you didn't give it to him, he would take and take from you either way. Everyday he expected at least more than a dozen kisses, a gift in hand for him, and for you to be on your hands and knees, ready to give him what he wants. You tried fighting back, only for it to end up with bruises and an exhausted tortured mind.

It broke his heart whenever you cried, what he was doing to him tore him to pieces. It was torture whenever he saw you cower away, when your once love filled eyes bore into his with such hatred. But he doesn't know how else to keep you willingly by his side! He tells himself. Maybe he's just that fucking stupid that he can't think of anything else, the doubts in his head and your cries convince him so. You were innocent in this all, and he hated admitting it. You were at no fault, yet he keeps you prisoner and punishes you as if you were. He knows he should let you go, but the ugly side of him doesn't care to. It's a battle with himself. He wants to indulge in his sick insecure desires, his mind brainstorming of what more he wants from you. There's a side of him that just wants things to go back to what they once were, and he believes they will! A side that just wants to erase your memories and start again. But he doesn't want you to forget the memories..

Eventually you complied, too defeated to fight back. It was useless fighting against one of the most powerful demons in hell, let alone one of the rulers. No one was going to save you, and Mammon made it clear he wasn't going to let you go. You'll never love him the same way you did before. You won't smile or have those witty comebacks whenever he does something dumb. You won't kiss him willingly, comfortably snuggling into him. Things won't be the same anymore, there was no going back. But what was he expecting having pure love in a place like hell? It was either doing things his way, or letting you go, something he couldn't bare to do. You'll come around eventually though. You'll love him how you loved him back then. People change. He knows this, you changed him after all.

Leviathan:

You were a typical sailor in hell's navy. Like everyone else, you were once a man on earth, sinned a bit too much, never once repented or prayed to the almighty to forgive you, died, and ended- luckily- in Devildom instead of the nine circles of hell for eternal punishment! You were considered one of the lucky sinners. As one of the lucky sinners that were judged by hell's judges, you were given an opportunity to avoid eternal damnation. Gather souls, torment humans, or contribute to Devildom's society. If you served no purpose for Devildom's progress or sustainability, you were going to be sent to hell, as in actual hell, to burn. So with only 6 days that you were given to choose a role or position in Devildom, you chose to join hell's army. You died a military man on earth, so you had some experience, and it was really the only job position that seemed to be eager to take in any new recruits. After following the advertising signs for joining the military, specifically the navy, you eventually found your way to the base. It was awful navigating through Devildom and it's large confusing environment. Demons speaking various languages that were both human and non human, the streets busy, the landscape unfamiliar and dangerous. Eventually, when you stumbled into the military base, you were swiftly sorted out. You never knew hell would be so similar to earth with how the process with the lady at the desk began to sort out the papers and things for you to sign. Devildom citizenship, an ID card, and the what not, the demon lady was nice enough to get it all done within a reasonable few hours. "So I see your new here, now I must ask, why this job out of all places?" you laughed. "Ma'am to be honest, I saw the sign and figured why not? I used to be in the navy back when I.. Well, was alive. So I have experience" She laughed back, laughing at your naivety. "Oh, but this is different, nothing like back home. Trust me, for a newbie here, I'd look somewhere else" You don't want to take the risk of finding somewhere else. You only had 6 days to figure out a position in hell and you were not gonna take any chances trying to wander around to beg for a job that wasn't guaranteed. So you persisted, the lady gave you the papers, and you signed the papers with your soul now tethered to the contract. You skimmed through some of the sentences, not fully reading the paper.

'Soul.. Admiral Leviathan.. At own risk ... Signature of navy worker below'

You were never the type to read contracts, so you signed the papers, sealing the deal. The lady at the front desk clicked her tongue. "It's settled then! Now what size are you for shoes and clothes?" You told her your size and she wrote it down, waddling to the door behind her before coming back with a dark navy blue sailor uniform. "Your Devildom citizenship will arrive in your room in one of the barracks in 2 days. You will start your shift once you get your ID and schedule." You grabbed the map that was provided, the bag that had your sailor uniform, and stood up. "Thank you, you were really kind" She waved her hand dismissively. "Nah, I'm just doing my job. Now before you go, word of advice" you looked at her, listening intently. "Do not piss off the captains, ESPICALLY the admiral. Whatever he wants or says, you do it, no questions asked." You nodded your head, acknowledging her warning. "Good, now good luck. You're gonna need it"

With all your belongings, you made your way to your barracks, looking around your surroundings. You noticed the different variants of demons that worked in the naval base. Aquatic demons working in the waters, repairing damages to the outer layers of the smaller ships, flying demons fixing radios and tending to electrical duties. They were clearly experienced and seemed a lot bigger and more.. You couldn't properly explain it. Confident? Comfortable? It was clear that they blended in with the environment while your meek personality stuck out like a sore thumb. Finally finding your room, you noticed a bunk bed. Guess you had a roommate that was off to his duties. Eventually, when you had your ID, you began to work in the navy as an entry level sea man. Preforming maintenance, reporting to your mates on watch, you got the hang of living in Devildom and the navy. Hell, you even got used to your new demon anatomy. But working as a newbie in hell was torture. As the new demon in hell, or what your fellow sailors like to call you- "Fresh meat"- you were constantly harassed and hazed. Belongings stolen, body beaten, insulted at any moment, it became the norm. One day you were on one of the ships, sweeping the floors, the typical. Then one of the bigger sailors- Dallas- grabbed you by the shoulders and spun you around. You flinched, expecting a punch to the face, but he only pressed your back against the wall. Keeping you pinned, he was up in your face, mocking you, grabbing a fistful of your hair as he hurled insults as the men around him laughed. It was expected, but what wasn't expected was when he grabbed your tail, playing with it softly. "Hmn, you just grew into your new body aye? How does this feel?" you shuddered, uncomfortable as his hand tightened around the thick base. "Hey, answer me" you squeaked, shaking at the weird intense foreign sensation. "Weird. Really weird. Look man can I just-" "Shut the fuck up." You immediately tighten your lips shut. The demon stayed quiet for a bit, observing the way your tail twitched and moved. He sighs, letting go with a smile. "Alright, go on with whatever"

The relief washes over your body as Dallas seems to step away from you, uninterested. You let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes until-

RIIIIIIIIIIPPP

In a flash you're on the floor, letting out a wheezy gasp as the scream escapes your body. Pain shoots from your lower back, the audible squelch and soft drop of something clear to your ears. Crying you gasp for air, the raw pain shooting up your spine. He ripped your tail, the fucker ripped your tail. Dallas laughed at your misery, crouching down. "Awe, damn.. Not a clean rip.. There's still some chunks.. Oh my god ew it's still moving?! Hey, how does it feel?" The pain was intense to the point you started seeing dots in your vision and the bile in your stomach forcefully excreted out from your heavy hyperventilating sobs. "Helloooo? Aye man you might wanna get that cauterized or something at the infirmary" He's still poking at you, poking his boot against your stomach. "Really? What's next? Gonna piss your pants? You're such a pu-"

"DALLAS"

A roaring voice interrupts. You try to turn around and see the source from the voice, but you can only lay as you writhe with your ripped tail on the floor. You hear three voices talking. Dallas, the main captain, and another man you haven't met. The captain groans, scolding the other sailor. "Are you kidding me?! We are running low on workers and you- you do this?! I don't even.." You can't see properly since your on the floor, but the other man in the large cloak puts his palm out, silencing the two. You hear footsteps, and you try to turn your head to see what's going on. "Dallas, am I not giving you enough work?" you could see the demon shrink, holding his two hands together. "No sir." "Then why are you messing with the new workers? Do you understand how low staffed we are?" "Yes sir." The man he was referring to as sir was a tall indigo haired male that wore a hat, cloak, and a specially tailored uniform adorned with badges. You were definitely sure this was the higher boss or at least the highest ranking captain. With how everyone kept their head low and how your main captain stepped back and quiet, you were certain of it. "Then stop acting like a pathetic teenager and leave them alone. Or are you too weak to pick on the older workers? Tell me. Why is it only my newer workers?" You could feel the humiliation coming from your bully as his voice became more anxious the more the uniformed man spoke. "I-I am sorry sir. I got carried away" The indigo haired male in the hat sneered, questioning him with a quick stern voice. "Do you like destroying my things? Does it give you some satisfaction fucking with my things?" Now it was Dallas's turn to squeak. "N-No sir! Absolutely not!" With an annoyed chuckle, the man commanded an order. "Come here." and he followed the order. "You touch him again, or any of my new workers, and I'll send you to circles to rot. I'll do it in a snap and you won't ever know the taste of fresh air ever again. Do you understand me?" In a quiet whisper, Dallas's voice tremored. "Yes sir.." With a chuckle, the cloaked man patted his shoulder. "Good. Now, stand him up for me"

Dallas carefully grabbed you, lifting you up by your feet- or at least trying to. You were limp from the weakness and throbbing agony that was all over your body, so moving you around was like dead weight. "A real low bar for you to go for the tail as well" The indigo haired captain tsked, his own tail swishing back and fourth on the floor. "Give him to me", you were shimmied over to the tall male, resting against his broad chest while his arm kept you standing. "Now. Go back to work. Get out." And he scurried off, leaving you alone with the man and your other captain. You close your eyes, drifting off from the exhaustion. With your blurry vision you could see the annoyance coming from his voice as he murmured to your captain. "...I swear I leave..A day.. And shit like.....happens.. I'm not a..... Babysitter.."

You pass out. You don't know how long you've been out for, but when you woke up you could hear the beeping of a monitor machine. You were at the infirmary, and when you regained conscious, you saw the IV attached to you. "You're awake" You whipped your head, only to get whiplash. You groaned, trying to soothe the pain. "Take it easy, you've been out for a while." You adjust yourself, sitting up, you get a good look at the man. Indigo hair, peaked cap, and the large dark royal cloak- you recognized him. "A-Ah, sir! It is.. Uhm, nice of you to be here?" You had no idea what to say, you didn't expect anyone to be waiting on you. "Thank you. You're a fresh soul.. It's been a while seeing those in my navy" You let out a low hum. "Mhn..." You shuffled a little, using your butt a bit to move further against the pillows, only to gasp as the agonizing pain rips through your body. You clutch your chest, trying to calm yourself down. "Woah there, don't move" He approached you, placing you softly on your side. It felt a bit better since you were laying on your back earlier, putting most of the pressure onto the nub. "T-Thank you.." He observed you, eying you up. "Do you feel any knots around the spine area?" You breathed out with a gasp. "It still hurts.." "From 1-10, tell me" "Ugnn.. An 8.." He let out a 'hnm' in response, now removing the sheets from your body. "It's going to hurt, so hold my hand." You followed his order, grabbing one of his hands while his other hand traveled towards your back. Near the base of your tail that connected with your spine, he pressed his fingers against the area. You hissed at the prickling sensations shot up through your entire spine. Your grip tightened as the man kept massaging the area, biting your lip as an attempt to hold yourself back from accidentally breaking the man's hand. "You don't need to hold back, you're not hurting me. You can't hurt me. Grip as hard as you need to, you're gonna need to brace yourself" Your eyes widened, panicked you gripped tighter as you began to breath heavily. His hand was now resting at the agitating large bump on your tailbone.

"1.."

You feel the anxiety begin to twist in your chest.

"2..."

He eyes your expression carefully, almost feeling pity.

"3"

With a swift push, he punches the red bump, pushing the bump back into your body with a loud pop. You gasp, frozen as you instinctively cling onto his hand. With tears streaming down your eye, you try to adjust to the burning in your spine. "Breathe in and out.. That's it.. I know it hurts.." he sympathized, speaking softly. "Because the bastard ripped it out like a barbaric child, this part, the bone, will dislocate here and there. It'll stop once it heals and regrows. But for now, you're gonna have to punch it in whenever it does that. You groan, now letting go of his hand. "It'll hurt less the more you do it. Now, how do you feel?" You wipe the tears from your eyes. "Surprisingly better.." He smiles, sitting back down on the chair that was next to your bed. "Good. How long have you been here for?" You take the sheets, covering your body again. "2 weeks..." He pulls his chair closer to you, wanting to engage. "Ah, alright. Do you know who I am?" "No sir.. Sorry" "It's okay, it makes sense. Well, I am Leviathan. I control this entire fleet, I am your admiral. You look after my navy, and I look after you"

Leviathan? As in the mythical sea monster? "Oh, so you are.. The Leviathan?" He finds your lack of knowledge in him to be quite endearing. "Yes, and in biblical terms, or more accurate terms, I am envy. I am the 3rd born sin, and I oversee one of the districts here. Any more questions?" You were speechless, not expecting to be face to face with the most powerful demon in hell. "N-No. Not at all sir. Thank you for telling me that.. I had no idea" His curiosity picks at him. "Oh really? How come?" you shy away, not wanting to offend Leviathan. "Well, no offense sir.. I was always an atheist. I didn't believe in the bible or anything. I only really heard of you based on an old kids myth.." An atheist? How adorable! Leviathan thought. "And what was that myth?" You paused for a bit. "Uhh.. Well uh.. The myth was that at 3am, you looked for anyone swimming in the lakes.. And then drowned them if you saw them.." Meh, not totally accurate, but it was close to an old hobby he used to do which was drowning sailors. "Ha! Did your parents tell you that?" "...Yeah"

Well isn't that just precious? He wasn't the type to smile over a conversation, but you somehow curled the corner of his lips upwards.

"Rest up. Take 5 days off, and report back to me on your tail. I'll see you then"

He stands up, and he leaves. Something about that touched you a bit, left you pondering and in awe. You weren't in love or anything, but he left you smitten. You spent most of your days in your room, resting up, taking medicine, and eating whenever you went to the cafeteria. Your bunkmate would mind his own business, glancing at you here and there before going out. He eventually decided to make himself known. "I'm Neil." He said abruptly, holding out a tray while you laid on the top bunk. You groggily turned, looking at the brownette. "Oh?" "These are for you" You look at the tray, an apple, muffin, and some soup. You just stare, not taking the tray. "Oh uh.. These aren't poisoned or.." He trailed off as you stared more at him, unconvinced. "Okay here's proof" He took a bite out of everything, and a sip from the soup. "There see! Not poisoned." You cringed, trying to be nice as the man took a bite out of nearly everything. "Ahh, thanks.." You sit up, taking the tray. "Hey uh, you don't have like.. Any poison or acid in your salvia right?" He looked confused for a moment. "Uhh.. Ohh nope! Not that kind of demon" "Alright thanks" You say, not really caring before taking a bite out of the already bitten muffin. "So uh, how's the tail?" "How do you know about the..." "Medicine. And the bandages on the table.. And the fact that you've been sleeping on your side for the past 4 days, duh" "Righht.. I mean it's getting better. Tomorrow I think I start working again" He stands on his mattress, grabbing onto the edge of the bunk bed to be somewhat at your level. "Damn, really?" "What do you want?" You're quick to cut the bullshit, speaking swiftly, you question him. He looks a bit taken a back. "Oh, just curious about my new bunkmate, that's all!" Right.. You don't believe him, but you continue to talk to him. You learn that he's been in the navy for at least 44 years, and that he died in the 70s. Cool.

The next day rolls and you climb out of bed. Brushing your teeth, changing your bandages and putting on your uniform, you put on your shoes. Opening the door, you're left confused as you stare. It wasn't the hallway of the barracks, but an office. Before you could run back into your room, something shoves you out and the door closes behind you. You turn to look for the door, but it's no longer there. You walk, looking around your surroundings. Medals, harpoons laid around as decorations, and large tanks with various small colorful marine creatures. "Over here" You hear his voice, and you immediately walk towards it. You see Leviathan sitting in his chair, writing papers on his desk. "Have a seat" And you do. Sitting across from him, you sit up straight. "You can relax y'know? Now, how's the tail?" Oh right, that. He did tell you to report to him a few days ago. "It's gotten better. I'm ready to work sir." "Good. Are you having trouble with any of other sailors?" His gaze was strong. "N-No.." "You're not lying to me, right?" "No sir.." "Because if there's a problem, I don't mind fixing it" You were grateful for his seeming care for you. "Thank you sir, but I can assure you that I'm fine" "If you say so".

"So uh, how did you know about the tail thing?"

"What?"

"Sorry, like how did you know what to do with my tail and all that?"

He lets out a short laugh. "Oh? Well okay, in the beginning when hell was just starting to form, me and my brothers had already fallen to hell. We went through a lot of changes with our body. I had my wings torn off, but I grew a tail. Of course, one of my brother's, Beelzebub, grew interested and unknowingly hungry. He didn't know his strength so he grabbed my tail and.. Ripped the entire thing clean. Bone and everything"

You wince, imagining the gruesome scene.

"It was awful, my brothers had no idea what to do while Beelzebub started to grow accustomed to his hunger. Funny enough, he did say that my tail tasted like a light flakey steak... Anyways I'm getting off track. It took years for it to grow back to how it is now. A lot of trial and error."

He paused for a moment.

"So that's it I guess. What I'm trying to say is, I've been through the same thing, multiple times actually. Anything else?" "No.. Thank you sir"

He sends you back to work, pointing to his finger back to the door that you came from. You walk out the door, and you see the ocean seas. Stepping out the door, you're a bit startled. How did that- magic you guessed. You go back to work, your admiral on your mind.

Your feelings for him started off as a small admiration. You began to idolize him little by little. You looked up to his authority, you were fascinated by the stories that were told about him. You would seek out for him, always trying to catch a glance of him patrolling the navy. You didn't have a crush on him, you were just curious. On a particular night, the navy was hosting its anniversary. It was nothing big, just a small get together at the bar with all drinks given free to the curtesy of the bar owner. The entire bar was filled with sailors drinking, laughing, and dancing. Some on the side were playing card games, others were holding drinking competitions amongst friends, and a few.. Lets just say they were gonna have a fun night. You were there, sitting in one of standing chairs, drinking a small alcoholic beverage. You weren't talking with anyone, just scanning the room, hoping to get a glimpse of Leviathan.

Leviathan was sitting on the other side of you, clearly annoyed and drinking his 3rd shot, pinching the bridge of his nose as his older brother, Mammon, kept nagging at him. "Hey Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi-" "What?" "….I love you~" "fuck off." Mammon laughed, tousling his little brother's hat, completely messing up his hair. "Aww cheer up lil bro! What's the matter?" Leviathan grumbled, drinking another shot of demonus. "Nothing." He drank another shot, this time waving on of the waitresses for another drink, a stronger one. "Seriously, you should be having the time of your life! I dunno, maybe having chicks by yourside-" Leviathan glared at him, scowling. "Or dudes… Or hell to be honest both or anyone with how you got that stick up your ass.." "What did you say?" "Nothing-" Mammon blurted, trying not to laugh. "Seriously though, what's wrong?" Leviathan rolled his eyes, now on his 6th shot. With a frown on his face, Leviathan sighed with a complain. "Everyone here is having fun, with friends and letting lose.. Being so fucking loud. This is miserable, I don't even know why I showed up." He went on, getting frustrated with each word. "I wanted to have fun, but I can't. I'm just here, all alone with my stupid brother bothering me like I'm some outcast needing to be comforted" Mammon felt a nervous sweat going down his forehead, smiling as he knew what was coming next. "They're so fucking ungrateful. I could just leave and no one would bat an eye. Why is no one coming to say hi? Why can't anyone just seem to invite me? What, am I just too high and mighty to talk to? So ungrateful." Mammon knew better than to correct Leviathan, to remind him that there were a bunch of sailors who toasted to him, the waitresses that smiled his way, the demons who were clearly smiling and grateful for the free drinks and food. There were a lot of things Mammon could point out, but of course, envy was always blind to logic. He patted Leviathan's shoulder, awkwardly laughing as an attempt to lighten up the mood. "Hey hey, I'm sure that ain't the case.. Hey what about that sailor that keeps staring at you?" "Huh?" Mammon looked at you, and he saw the subtle shift in your eyes. For a brief moment you and him made eye contact, and Mammon got an idea. "Yeah, that one. Over there with the stumpy tail" Leviathan turned, seeing you look at your drink. "Oh him? What about him?" "What do ya think about him?" Levithan was a bit caught off guard with the question. "Uhh, I mean he's a good worker. He's still adjusting since it hasn't been a year since he's died.." "Ah, a newbie" "Yeah. Ha, funny enough I did talk to him. Helped him with his ripped tail and all.." Mammon's interest peaked, and Leviathan could tell as he tried to change the topic, knowing Mammon would try to do something dumb with the information. "But that's it." "That's it?" "Well.. Yeah." "Why don't you go talk to him?" Defensively, Leviathan narrowed his eyes at Mammon. "Why?" "Cause, I'm sure he wants to talk to you as much as you wanna talk to somebody. Trust me, I can feel his desperation from here" Leviathan looked a bit startled, a little flattered even. "Oh.. I guess I'll talk to him for a bit.." Mammon smiled, laying back against the plush booth. "Mhn, I'll be here 'kay?" Leviathan hummed back in response, standing up to go talk to you.

Leviathan sat beside you, adjusting his cloak and cap before addressing your name. You looked a bit startled, trying to sit up straight with your head high. And Leviathan couldn't help but feel a little flutter in his chest. You both talked, hell even tried to talk with each other. An hour or two passed and Leviathan decided to go back to the booth. He waved you off, telling you he'd be back in a bit. Mammon of course was in a middle of a card game, but he was able to out trick all the sailors and beat the small game. Counting his money, Mammon smirked at Leviathan. "You have a good chat?" "Uh, yeah." "He likes ya" "I mean I hope he does. He is a worker of mine" Mammon tsked, putting the money in his pocket. "He likes likes you" "W-What?! Mammon don't be stupid" "Whatever~ Do you like him?" "I've only known him for a few days! Why the fuck would he even like me in that way? He has so many people that talk to him, hell even a bunk mate. There would be no way to have him like like me you idiot." "…Uh-huh.. Anyways y'know what? Let's do something" Leviathan eyed Mammon suspiciously, clearly annoyed. "What?" "Let's make a bet." Leviathan could already see where this was going. "Oh not again for the love of-" "Hear me out. You're always complaining about how alone you are while the demons out here are mingling and finding love. The admiral himself, alone and unwanted. It's unfair right?" "I-I'm not-" Mammon gave Leviathan the 'Oh really?' look, and Leviathan only shrunk in embarrassment. "So, prove me wrong. Prove US wrong. I bet ya, if you go up to him, ask him out, maybe a 'lil smooch for Goodluck, he'll be head over heels for ya. And if I'm wrong, I'll give you.. This book writer's soul." "Make it 16500 grimm, the writer's soul, and a dance of how wrong you are" "Mhnnn… 50 grimm?" "I'm not doing it then" "Ugh.. Fine. I'm only agreeing cause I'm tired of seeing my baby brother all mopey with his weird cartoons-" "Shut up!"

With a huff, Leviathan stomped away while Mammon snickered, watching the scene unfold. You heard those familiar footsteps coming your way, and you smiled. "Hello sir, you're back!" Leviathan sat down beside you, ordering some more drinks. "Yep. Say.. Do you uh.. Want to drink and talk?" "More alcohol.. I dunno, I'll be on my shift tommorow" "Doesn't have to be alcohol. Want any smoothies?" "Yeah! What do you recommend?" Leviathan requests a menu, and he skims through the pages. He points at a light blue drink with small bits of orange flowers inside it. "This one. It's really good. It's one of my favorites actually.." "Then I'll get that one then"

Leviathan begins to get comfortable, and even warms up a bit as you yap about your interests. Sure they don't completely align with what hear cares about, but you somehow make it interesting to listen to. He finds himself smiling as you go on and on, and he even finds himself rambling to you as well. For a moment he thinks as he's rambling that he's boring you, but when he look's at your lower half, he could see the small numb that is your tail wagging back and fourth. He gets a surge of confidence, and he looks back at Mammon who just gives him a smug look. "Hey so... I think I may want to take you out.." You seemed to have a glint in your eye, but Leviathan ignores it. "Would you like to go on a date with me?" You let out a snort, but you quickly cover your mouth. And for a moment, Leviathan considers killing Mammon, and then himself out of shame. "S-Sir what? You barely known me" Yeah! Exactly! Mammon. "But honestly if I were being honest.. I may have gotten interested in you as well.. I don't know if it's cause I like you but- oh man I'm rambling. But are you sure? Why me? No offense.. Sir.. But I'm not 'boyfriend' material." Leviathan looked back at Mammon for advice, but he was too busy chatting up with the other sailors. Fuck.. "Well.. I-I uh.. Please? One date?" God he could feel himself sweating. Was he really pleading with a sailor to go out with him? Do it for the Grimm, do it for the Grimm.. You were shocked, flattered, and even a bit bashful. "Uh, yeah. Of course sir.. When?" "When what?" "The date?" "Oh uhmn- how about tomorrow? I'll let you have the entire day off." "..I guess it's a date then sir!" "Good! I-I'll see you then. Maybe at night.. Okay?" You nodded your head, and he simply went back to Mammon. "What about the smooch?" "Don't push it Mammon." Leviathan scoffed, putting his palm out. "Grimm, the soul, and I want the dance." "Now??" Leviathan smirked, his eyes smug as he leaned back. "Yep. Right now, come on. We shook on it, you have to do it. C'mon, you know the dance~" Mammon groaned, slowly forcing himself to stand up and do the stupid dance. With a final twirl and bow, Leviathan clapped, clearly grinning ear to ear. "Now, the grimm and soul." Mammon whined, letting a loud "Ughhh!" before handing Leviathan the soul and coins worth of 200 grimm. "I said 16500, not 200 cheapo" "What do ya think, that I'm made outta money?! I don't carry that much y'know??" "Mammon you literally hoard as a hobby, hand it over. I won fair and square." Letting out another whine, Mammon handed Leviathan a copious amount of bills, each count of the money hurting Mammon's heart. "Oh please, this is pocket money for you. Stop acting like it's a big deal" Mammon grumbled. "I'm only doing this so you could finally stop bitc-" "What was that?" "NOTHING! Love ya lil bro~" Leviathan was smiling, counting the money he earned. "Alright.. These are real right?" "Of course they are! Why do ya think I'm hurting right now?!" "Cause knowing you, you'd scum your way out of a deal." "Ah come on! Have a bit of faith in me!" Leviathan rolled his eyes at Mammon's retort. "Yeah yeah. Anyways how's that witch girlfriend of yours?" Mammon seemed to calm down a bit, his mind now distracted over the grimm. "Oh she's alright I guess.." Leviathan raised a brow at Mammon, but didn't comment any further. "Alright. Well I'm gonna go back home. Are you coming or?" "Nah I'm gonna stop by a few stores. There's some stuff I need to get" Leviathan stood up from his seat. "See you later then"

You went on your first date some time later on, and Leviathan didn't seem to mind the date. Dressed in a white colored shirt with navy pants, he took you to a restaurant. He didn't seem too enthusiastic, but he didn't seem bothered when you talked with him. One date, it was one date. Though one date turned into two when his brother Mammon blabbed to the entire family that Leviathan had scored a date. Of course with everyone intrigued, they all teased him to go on the second date. Begrudgingly, you and him were now sailing on one of the private boats, eating some hell spawn lobster while he talked about his annoying brothers. For an isolated shut in, he surprisingly knew how to treat you well. The second date turned into a third date when Asmodeus poked at his older brother, cackling at the thought of keeping a study relationship. Out of spite, Leviathan took you on a third date, seemingly agitated with the way his eyes were dilated. He made sure to take lots of pictures on your third date, sending it to his brothers to show them wrong. On the fourth date, he was less annoyed, rather using his brothers nagging as a way to excuse himself for getting involved during your working hours at the navy. You were in one of the rooms, looking at a gas indicator. Opening the door to leave the room, your shoved in a familiar room that you haven't seen in a while. Leviathan's office. You hear his voice, and like the first time you were here, you followed it. You thought you were in trouble with the way he had his arms behind his back with a formal posture, you were a bit panicked with the way he stared at you. "I have something to ask you". Fearing the worst, you braced yourself. Did you piss him off? But, Leviathan wasn't there to scold you, if anything, he was quiet terrified himself and it took everything for him not to stumble on his words. "What are we?"

Oh?

That's what he called you in for? "Whatever you want us to be sir" That didn't seem to satisfy him. Uncertain, he furrowed his brows. "What do you want us to be?" God you didn't fucking know how to answer that! "u-uh, well uh. I don't know?" "You don't know?" He seemed agitated at the response. With his hands still behind his back, his tail whipped back and fourth. "..This was a stupid idea. You probably felt forced.." Leviathan didn't say it out loud, but he could picture the multiple reasons why you had said what you said. Maybe you felt pressured by his superiority to go out with him, you didn't actually like him that way. Or maybe you had a partner already, what was his name? Nile? Nelly? Whatever it was, he was always stalking around you, and you seemed neutral with his company. Whatever it was, Leviathan could feel the shame inside him. He was about to resort to singing an old siren tune to make you forget this interaction, but you seemed to catch him off guard when you took off your hat, holding it with both of your hands. "I didn't feel forced at all to go with you Leviathan... Sir. If anything, I enjoyed those nice dinners with you. I haven't been treated that nicely by anyone in a while" You now had his full attention, and he was listening to you intently. "It would be nice if I could return the favor.. No matter what you decide you want us to be. If I had the choice, I'd like us to continue what we have" Leviathan was completely shocked, wordless with his mouth slightly agape. It took a while for the admiral to collect his scrambled mind, and it didn't help with the way you stared at him with an expression no one had stared at him with in centuries. "O-Oh? U-Uh, haha- ah. Well u-umn. Okay- uhmn, alright. Haha! Oh fuck-" His whole entire face was beet red. "In that case, I guess these came in handy" He extends his hand out, and it's a bouquet of blue creamy white flowers. You were now smiling, your ears perked up happily. "Oh my gosh- these are so nice.." "I-I'm glad you liked them.." It was so bizarre to see the highest in commanding of the navy stutter, it was like he was a different person. You kept staring at the meek uniformed man Infront of you, and for a moment you forgot about his position and high status. So you blurt out the first thing that comes in your mind. "Can I kiss you?" and Leviathan is more than happy to comply with your request.

The 3 months you were dating Leviathan were heavenly. You didn't have to go to the cafeteria anymore to wait in line for lunch since Leviathan would always be there to grab you and feed you. There were moments where he would drag you in the middle of work seemingly out of nowhere, just for you rest on his lap while he did paperwork. You also learned about Leviathan's personality, how sometimes he would be this soft, shy, meek demon who could barely speak for himself. You learned that the avatar of envy enjoyed his junk food, always snacking on some chips whenever you and him watched one of his Japanese cartoons that he was obsessed with. Eventually he even got you a room of your own! No longer did you have to share a bunk with someone! Things were going well between you and Leviathan, or as you now call him outside of work, Levi. You loved him, you loved him a lot. And sure he had his fits here and there- but it's what's expected of envy. Sure it got terrifying at times with his menacing grip on his shoulders and his horrifying rambles of anger whenever something small seemed to trigger him. But it could be a lot worse, and you loved him too much to see what was so dangerous about his behavior. You were blind to all the red flags that began to show in your relationship with Leviathan. You were so caught up in Leviathan's smothering affection, you failed to see the way he was isolating you from the navy. You were so blind, that you failed to see the way the other sailors would avoid you. You were so used to seeing Leviathan daily, you didn't realize how you didn't work any shifts anymore- instead spending most of your time in Leviathan's office.

You really loved Leviathan, you loved him to the point that you were willing to tip toe with your actions- careful not to talk to someone in a certain way and to not outshine Leviathan in anyway, just to keep his envy at bay. Hug him, hold him, look at him only, tell him how much you love him. In the beginning you thought he was just being needy and insecure. But as time kept going, he never stopped, if anything he seemed to get worse. It was getting tiring juggling with his emotions, and you thought it was manageable.. Until by some misfortune you discovered why Leviathan had asked you out in the first place. Grimm, a soul, and a silly sibling dance. Your relationship was from a result from sibling banter. At first you laughed at the news! You saw it as one of those cute "This is how me and my boyfriend met!" types of silly situations. But then you started to really think about it.. And it hurt your ego. You felt like this small plaything for this all powerful demon to use you. You didn't know why you didn't see this before, but now you did and it was painful. You bet people in Devildom snickered about how you were just "another one" for the admiral, betting how long he'd keep you for. You didn't confront Leviathan about the news, you kept quiet for now. You tried acting the way you usually acted, but Leviathan being naturally observant or irrational, confronted you on your different behavior. "Are you okay?" "Mhn? Yeah, why?" "Liar." It was a slow shift from neutral to absolutely maddened. "Who is it?" "W..What?" "Who fucking is it?" He was face with a death grip on your shoulder. His claws sinking into the fabric of your uniformed shirt and threatening to pierce your skin. "Is it that old roommate of yours? Decided to get a good fucking out of him?" "Excuse me?!" He let out a laugh, and the atmosphere went cold. You were outside on the docks where none of the sailors worked, it was hidden- like an alleyway in a street. "Am I not good enough for you?" The waves began to crash against the wooden docks, the boats began to swish back and fourth- "Of course!" His voice was getting louder- "Then why- Why are you being like this?!" You made the mistake of stuttering, and Leviathan's irrational thoughts were being confirmed in his mind. "L-Like what?!" "OOoooHoho! So you do know! Great! Spill it out!" "Alright fine! The bet, I was only a bet to you! For Grimm and a soul! That's all I was! I'm not cheating on you- I'm fucking embarrassed!" Like he'd been slapped, he let you go, the waves calming down as he shrunk on the spot. "O-Oh..So you're not..?" "No! Are you kidding me?!"

In the end, Leviathan was still cared about you, but you had trouble forgiving him. You still loved him, just not the same as before. You were always the type to hold grudges, hell it's how you got into hell in the first place, so you never really let go of that information. Your relationship wasn't the same, and you thought about breaking up with Leviathan. You tried asking your old roommate Neil for any advice after cornering him, but he only told you it was best for you to suck it up and stay in the relationship. "That's it?! Really?! C'mon Neil, there's gotta be something" "I dunno, a couples therapy?? Look, I wish I could help you, but I can't, and to be honest you're kind of in a sticky situation.. Breaking up with the man who owns your soul.." "Wait what?" "Yeah.. Why do you look so shocked?" You stare at him completely mortified, while he just stares at you nonchalantly. He then notices your reaction, and feels automatically pity for you. "Oh.. You didn't know? It was in the contract. I thought you knew?" There it goes.. Your lack of attention biting you in the ass. "Anyways.. I don't think you should be talking to me.. Or anyone. For the sake of our safety, just.. Stick with him yeah? We don't want another incident." "What incident?" "..I gotta go. Bye.."

Now realizing Leviathan owns your soul since you had signed that contract when joining the navy, you felt trapped. God this was utterly fucked, you really couldn't leave unless Leviathan had enough of you and didn't break up with you on bad terms. Was there any way you could manipulate the situation..? Who were you kidding, manipulating a man who's job is manipulating and controlling an entire fleet at his bidding. Good luck. And with how your boyfriend changed your role in the navy ever since your little argument and with his insecurities growing ever since your revelation, it seemed like a slim chance he was going to let you go. Locked always by his side, you couldn't escape. 24/7, whether you were in his office, walking around the fleet, or in his bed, he was always there- watching you. It was either loving him and juggling the thin line of rage the avatar of envy always seemed to be on, or risk being thrown into eternal damnation.. And, being smart, you continued loving him, even if it now became a part of your job.