#it took me an hour to calm down

[honeycollectswhump]

more on grief. the symptoms.

the feeling overwhelming you at random times of the day, without warning. suddenly you are stuck crying and gasping for breath.

your stomach cramps every time you think about them. it makes you want to vomit. nothing really helps and it can kill your appetite.

you are constantly tired, no amount of sleep seems to be enough. you could sleep for a thousand years and maybe you wish you could.

no matter what you are doing and how happy you are, they are always on your mind. you ruminate and ruminate if there was anything you could have done differently. you think about all the things you should have done.

grief alienates and isolates you. it feels like people can’t understand, there is no right words to calm you down.

you will hate yourself for this but sometimes you feel so powerless you wish you would have never been put in this situation. even if that means never knowing that person. you don’t really mean it though you are just desperate.

you can grieve people that are still alive

your grief can project in other things and situations. your mood can drop quickly. you can overreact or be aggressive and abrasive. this alienates you further

people will tell you to distance yourself. you cannot.

feel free to torment your blorbos with this

[seagull-scribbles]

☔️ It’s time to loose your self loathing, excuse yourself, let hope in ♥️

[ellcrys]

so without going into details my body was really fucked up yesterday evening and all throughout the night and i really thought i was going to have a stroke or something lmao. obviously, that didn't help my anxiety so i'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep feeling like i'm going to have a panic attack and wondering what's real and what's my brain conjuring up symptoms due to runaway anxiety. what feels like hours pass and i'm still wide awake, brain racing, heart pounding, limbs kinda jittery and i'm reflecting on my day like was it something i fucking ate? and then i remembered the fucking milk tea at that lunch spot we went to and bruh i'm never intaking caffeine ever again

[thanatologie]

i have been spending more time than like...i probably need to, actually, thinking about emmrich's comment to neve about how manfred has unpredictable reactions to puppets / puppet shows, and i wonder (and am deciding that yes it is) if it's the same way some kids freak out about them.

like...hand puppets are fine if they're not shoved in his face, he can see that it's a puppet, he can see where the sock puppet ends and the person begins, he can comprehend to some degree it's a narrative device, it's fine, he's good with those, you can sock puppet at him all day long.

but things like marionettes and ventriloquist dummies freak him right out. can't see the connection between person and puppet, really (as by design), they look like people (or animals) but move wrong, hit that uncanny valley thing (which is a hilarious thought in a way, considering his body is a reanimated skeleton), but like...it's not something that's going to have logic, tbh. he's (essentially) a little kid, and sometimes little kids are scared of puppets.

[gorbo-longstocking]

OMG HELLOOO, first of all I just wanted to say thank you for writing DNBTS, your writing is just so perfect and mesmerising that I can't stop reading thrm over and over again. I love how you write the characters it's just so scrumptious, and I love how you write silly and funny moments between the twins and Alga :))).

Also just wanted to quickly throw these Alga sketches that I did (bro my art block just vanished after like 9 months of agony 🙏🙏) (Also this is just how I think Alga would look like 🤔).

Anyways, thank you so much for the hard and amazing work that you do and of course the updates that you give us❤️ I hope you'll like these small sketches that I did for now 😈

DUDE. HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY BRAIN AND CAPTURE EXACTLY HOW ALGA LOOKS IN MY HEAD? im in absolute AWE right now. i hope you know i got this ask and i was like paul revere in all of my friends dms like “GUYS THE COOLEST FUCKING ASK EVER JUST HIT THE MILOGON”

not only is it a huge compliment you like my writing (mesmerizing…. im going to rocket to the moon thank you) BUT YOU DREW ART. DUDE. DUUUUUUDE. I GOT YOU OUT OF ART BLOCK. happy to be of service, for starters. secondly, ohhhhhh my god you cooked. your art is so good???? i love how you drew their hair and their nose. and their cheekbones!!! dude. how did you read my mind im so serious. what if i hung this ask on my wall. what then.

[caterjunes]

i'm not gonna talk about it rn bc i've finally gotten myself calm & deescalated with grayson's help. but my eeoc charge of discrimination against my previous employer was dismissed. and i read through their response to my charge. and i don't think i've ever been so desperately angry/distressed/overwrought in my life. i was like. keening into a pillow, pulling on my hair. it was very scary, idk if i've ever felt out of control like that before.

[cheritouu]

ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE IS MOVIE OF THE YEAR, THE DECADE, THE CENTURY MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDD

[bare1ythere]

If you think Mania would be a fun thing to experience because it's on the "positive" side of extreme emotions, oh god you are so wrong!

[tenrose]

I hate living in this world.

[stargazerdaisy]

Let me just tell you, the combination of taking stimulants, eating a late lunch, then losing your appetite and having a significant and prolonged adrenaline rush will do a number on your body chemistry.

[puppyboyfranco]

Wish there was a meme for when your adrenaline goes way too high from being very upset nd then once you realise it you’re just like “oh shit, we’re really in it now”

[neverendingford]

[brown-little-robin]

he's crying and they put the triumph theme over it. that's it. I'm done. I'm going to bed.

[ink--theory]

got asked to watch some scary movies with friends over discord tonight for halloween

i only agreed cause they're including the new fnaf movie, otherwise I wouldn't be caught dead in there fkdlsjf

[skitskatdacat63]

Sorry guys for being completely unhinged this weekend 🙏 but I can't help it and I refuse to be normal about it

[thethingything]

I keep randomly remembering that the reason our brain is especially fucked and a bunch of our symptoms are worse right now is because of like, an avoidable external thing that's chemically affected our nervous system instead of either our symptoms flaring up on their own or some specific stressful event triggering it, and for some reason that keeps making us feel especially bad about it.

like our mental health being bad because of stressful stuff going on and our mental illnesses randomly flaring up both suck, but I can handle our brain just doing its own thing and/or reacting to what's going on around us.

but something about it being a medication that someone else prescribed that's changed the way our brain functions is significantly more distressing in a way I can't put into words properly. a lot of the symptoms we've got (apathy, brain fog, alexithymia, memory problems, etc) are very typical depression and dissociation symptoms, but they're like a weird version of them that feels very different to how we normally experience them.

the only way I can describe the difference in feeling is that it feels more "artificial" but I can't even really describe what I mean by that. if normal brain fog is looking out the window on a foggy day, this is looking out of a window that's been covered with those frosted vinyl sheets. you can't see shit either way, but the feeling is very different.

I just desperately want it to go away. I'm finding it hard to be enthusiastic about things I'm normally excited about no matter how bad our depression gets, and our usual coping mechanisms for getting our brain to register positive things aren't really working because it's not the same underlying mechanism.

it feels like any control I did have over our symptoms and anything I could do to help with them has been stripped away and all I can do is wait it out and hope it fixes itself, and the whole "being given a drug that changes how your brain functions and takes away your control over what your brain is doing" is pretty much the exact phobia I was trying to learn to figure out how to deal with before we get dental work done, and for the dental work it'd be like... idk probably an hour at most, whereas now I'm just stuck dealing with experiencing it 24/7 for an undetermined amount of time