#I feel like I sound insane but here we are I guess

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Lucifer x Virgin Reader - Loving One Night Stand (NSFW/Slight Angst)

This one is long so it’s going under the cut!

@citrusbatsandhoneybees has some banger ideas, I’ll tell ya; based on our chats

Lucifer appears in your room one night unexpectedly and unprompted

He tells you that he knows who you are and tells you that can have him in whatever way you desire

But he also tells you that he can only stay for the night; he is only allowed to be on Earth for a short time every 100 years

Usually he passes on the opportunity, but when he learned about you, he couldn’t but seize this moment with you, although fleeting

“It’s been a loooooong time since I’ve spoken with humans. But there’s something about you…I just had to know more…”

“What…what should we do?”

“That would be up to you. We can sit and talk, watch a movie, anything you want! But from what I know, I’ll venture a guess and say you want something different…”

You swallowed hard. “I-I do, but…I hope you know I feel more for you than just…that. And I’ve never…”

You can feel yourself start to tear up

“Hey, hey, it’s alright! We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with! I’d never put you in the situation, I promise. And I know you mean what you say, I can tell.”

He grips your hands and smiles at you sweetly

All those nights you spent thinking about what you would do to this man, it drove you insane; but here he was, offering you exactly what you’ve yearned for all this time

“If we only have tonight…I want to make the most of it. I don’t want to be afraid anymore…”

“If that’s what you wish, then I’m yours. We’ll go at whatever pace you’re most comfortable with, alright? And if at any point it’s too much or you want to stop, promise me that you’ll tell me immediately.”

You nod before you lean in to kiss him for the first time

His lips are soft and desperate for more of you; he pulls away and chuckles softly

“I’ll admit, it’s…it’s been a while since I’ve kissed anyone like that. Let alone…n-never mind. Please, come back…”

He pulled in for another kiss, holding the back of your head ever so gently, his moans sending aches straight to your core.

You start to undress each other slowly and carefully before your nearly fully exposed in front of him as he hovers above you on the bed

"Fffuck...you...you're already so wet...I love that. No hon, don't be shy, I would never make fun of you. Never. It's adorable really. Are you ready? I'll start slow, just one finger to start, okay?”

He slowly inserts one finger inside of you, a small whimper escapes your throat

“That's it...that's a good girl...so cute...You make the most adorable sounds, dear. How do you feel? Are you still okay?”

“M-More, please…”

“O-Okay, I can do that..."

His fingers start thrusting in and out of you faster and faster before reaching for your aching clit

“Still with me? Good...now let me just rub riiigghhhttt here...there it is~ Oh love, the faces you're making, fuck...I can't get enough...you're doing so well~"

But it doesn’t take long before he’s pleading for more

“Sweetheart, I need...f-fuck...please, please can I taste you?”

“Y-Yes…”

“God, thank you...thank you so much! Promise I'll be gentle, just let me...m-mmmm mmmfffuuuckkk, ohmygod...darling y-you're absolutely divine...such a pretty pussy, love...so lovely, so beautiful...you're perfect...mmmmmm...mmhmmmh~"

With his expert tongue, it’s only a moment more before he has you cumming on his tongue

“You taste heavenly, my angel. I could stay between your thighs for the rest of my days and it wouldn’t be long enough.~”

In your lust fueled state, you decide to turn the tables

“Lucifer, I-I want to return the favor, if that’s okay…”

“What do you...oh...OH! Oh, no! You don't have to do that, hon! It's perfectly fine! You don't need to-

“But I want to…very much…”

“I...oh fuck me...love, I'm...it's fine, really! Oh, please don't look at me like that! That's cheating! Ughhhh, okay okay, fine, you win! You don't play fair.~”

You start slow, stroking his length carefully; his cock already leaking from your small touches alone

You decide to use your tongue to help clean him up

“Darling? W-What are you-OH FUCK ME…f-fuck, your tongue…HOLY F-FUCK! S-Slow down, hon! P-Please slow down…don’t hurt yourself…i-if you keep licking me like that, I’m g-gonna…fuckfuckfuck…”

“It’s okay, Lucifer, I want you to let go.~”

“F-Fuck, you’re going to be the death of me-GAAAHH SSHHHHIIIIIIT! Fuck, I’m gonna cum baby…gonna c-cum…your fault…a-all your fault…fuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK AAAAAHHH!”

Lucifer cums hard in your mouth, one hand gripping the bed sheets, the other tangled in your hair

You swallow his load happily without hesitation, giving him a satisfying hum

“That…that was amazing. You’re amazing! Thank you for that! I…geez, just incredible…”

He pulls you up to his face for a tender kiss before pulling you back onto the bed with him

”Do you…want to keep going? I’m more than happy if you’re not comfortable going any further.”

“Yes, I want to…fuck, please! I need you!”

“Okay…okayokayokay…f-fuck. We…we’ll go extremely slow, alright? If you’re in pain, if you want to stop at any point, please tell me immediately. You’re absolutely sure? Okay…then lay down for me, darling~”

You do as he says as he slots himself between your legs

“Deep breaths love, this…this might hurt a little bit. I’m going to everything I can to make it as painless as possible. You have to tell me if it’s too much, do you promise? Okay…I’m going to push in now, just a little bit…HNNGG…gghhh…fuck…Are you alright? I-Is is too much? Let me know when I can keep going…”

“I’m alright Luci, please keep going…”

“O-Okay, I’m going to push in a little more…O-Oh my God…love, you feel…so fucking good…you’re taking m-me so well.”

His hips start to thrust into you, slowly at first but he starts to falter fast, the feeling of being inside you overwhelming him

He leans down to kiss you passionately, swallowing every sound he pulls out of you as he fucks you tenderly

“I’m…shhhhiiiittt…I’m not gonna last much longer…I’m gonna…f-fuck…I can’t…”

“It’s okay, L-Lucifer, it’s okay, cum in me…I want you to f-fill me. Please Lucifer…”

With your permission, he cums with a loud cry, painting your walls white with his load

His orgasm triggers your own as you pulse around him, feeling utterly and completely full

He crashes on top of you, his breathing heavy and labored

“Thank you, love…thank you…”

You can feel more tears starting to form in your eyes

“Lucifer…”

“Shh, it’ll be alright, I promise. If I could stay, I would, please believe me.”

“I love you…”

He plants a tender kiss to your forehead as he wipes your tears away

“I love you too. Come here.”

He wraps his arms around you tightly, his wings appearing and spreading across you, covering you completely

“Rest now, love.”

It didn’t take too much longer for your eyes to grow heavy as he held you against his chest

It was the best night of sleep you ever had

You awoke late the next morning in a daze, wondering if last night was nothing more than a dream

Before you got out of bed, you noticed a small folded piece of paper laying on the pillow next to you

You picked it up and began to read the note

“Thank you for a wonderful night. It will be one I will never forget for as long as I live. If fate is kind, perhaps we will meet again in the next life. But I fear Hell will not be your final destination. I love you, for all time. Yours, Lucifer Morningstar”

You didn’t leave bed that day; you sobbed, praying that the next time you woke up, it would be next to him

[lafaiette]

Inspired by some posts going around, saying Rook should be able to flirt with Lavellan to make Solas super jealous 😂 (but also to help him stop being stupid and finally go back to her!)

There are nuanced spoilers from Veilguard, and my own idea regarding Rook and Solas' connection, since we still don't know how it works exactly.

----------------------------

"I have an idea."

Neve raised her eyes from the notes scattered on her desk, giving Rook a flat, unimpressed look. She knew, by know, that their ideas weren't always the best.

Sometimes, she feared the things their brain came up with.

"What kind of idea?" she asked, hoping it would be different this time, that they would surprise her, that this wouldn't be like that time they had sneaked upon Lucanis and almost got stabbed.

"I'm going to flirt with Lady Lavellan."

"Oh, goodness." Neve took a deep breath. So much for her hopes. "Well, you're going to die, I guess."

"Not for real!" Rook had the audacity to grin at her. "As a joke! Just to unnerve our Dread Wolf a little bit."

"Why would you do that?" Neve shook her head in disbelief. "Do you even hear yourself? If what Lace said is right, he could kill you in your sleep."

"Nah, he won't. We're almost friends at this point - and besides, he wouldn't risk ruining our mission."

"He would for Lady Lavellan."

"Come on!" Rook's grin came back, happy and excited. "I'm curious to see how he'd react! He's always so serious and grim, you know? But Varric said he was a completely different person when he was with the Inquisitor, and the rumours I heard..."

"He's in contact with you, is he not?" She tilted her head, studying their face. "Isn't he listening to this conversation right now?"

"Our connection is severed most of the time. There are moments when I can feel him being present, but they don't last long, and I always have to update him on our plans." Rook scratched their neck. "I have no idea how much he's able to glimpse from that prison he's stuck in, to be honest. It doesn't look like a great place to be in."

"It was a prison made specially for mad elven mages." Neve sighed, going back to the more pressing topic. "Seriously, Rook, this is a terrible idea."

"Hey, he deserves it! Haven't you seen how kind and gracious Lady Lavellan is? If anything, I'm going to help them get back together! Trust me, this will help them. I'm basically doing them a favour!"

"You're going to scare that poor woman." Neve glared at them, almost disappointed. "I won't let you be a creep."

"Oh, Neve, who do you take me for?" Rook was at the door, ready to leave, ready to start their diabolical plan. "I will be the perfect gentleman, just like Emmrich."

"He is a gentleman, while you're acting like a mischievous nug!"

Rook left with a booming laugh; Neve stared at the door, trying to squash her morbid curiosity under a sense of professionalism and dignity.

But a part of her was looking forward to the consequences of Rook's insane prank.

----------------------------

"Lady Lavellan." Rook smiled at the elven woman, Solas' presence like a burning itch in their brain, right behind their eyes. "You look stunning this morning."

They even bowed to her.

Davrin and Harding stared at them as if they had gone mad. Lady Lavellan blinked, eyes wide, then replied, as prim as ever:

"Thank you?"

"Should you need anything, please don't hesitate to call upon me. It shall be my honour to serve a wonderful, beautiful person such as yourself."

Davrin made a weird sound, a noise between a snort and a choking gasp. Harding covered her mouth with a hand.

Lady Lavellan's shock only grew - but her background as an important political figure was indeed evident, for she didn't let it colour her next words nor her reaction.

"Thank you, Rook. You're very kind."

She even smiled a little, even though she still looked a bit perplexed.

Rook grinned at her, then left. The burning, the presence inside his head, felt like a roaring inferno now.

----------------------------

"Here, my lady - I heard you like these particular berries. I made sure to buy some from you while I was in Treviso."

Rook filled her plate with sweet, red berries, and Lady Lavellan's face did light up, her eyes filled with wonder and joy.

"Oh, thank you! It's been so long since I ate these!"

"Only the best for you." Rook bowed their head at her, then turned to pass a jug of water to Lucanis, who was sitting next to them and had heard their exhange with the Inquisitor.

The Antivan Crow was looking at them, studying them, his lips slightly curled upward.

"Yes?" Rook grinned at him.

"Spite says you're going to die soon, my friend."

"Oh, Neve said the same thing!"

----------------------------

"Oh, Rook, here you are! Lady Lavellan and I were discussing some matters related to the Mourn Watch. Would you like to join us?"

"Of course, Emmrich." Rook accepted the cup of tea Manfred was diligently handing them, thanking him with a nod of their head. "I'd love to spend more time with you and our beautiful guest."

Emmrich almost choked on his tea. Lady Lavellan kindly offered him her handkerchief.

"Has someone ever painted you, my Lady?" Rook sipped the hot beverage without a care in the world, even raising their little finger. "I can't believe no one has. Such a gorgeous, dazzling smile should be preserved for eternity."

"Well, uh... Solas painted the frescoes in the rotunda at Skyhold. And..." She looked down, into her cup, suddenly quiet and timid. "He made some charcoal portraits of me."

Rook felt bad, guilt squeezing their heart. They hurried to improve the mood.

"Charcoal portraits are well and good, but your beauty and kindness should be painted on gilded vaults. Or perhaps sculpted, to fill the world with your grace!"

She snorted, the prelude to a giggle. When she left to check on Varric, Emmrich sighed and stared and stared, until Rook had to speak up.

"What?"

"My friend, why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That you have a death wish. We could have talked about this sooner."

"I don't have a death wish!"

"I know these are hard, frightening times, but you must let death come to you, not the other way around. You have your whole life ahead of you!"

"Emmrich, really..."

"Why don't we start some therapy sessions? We do it all the time in the Mourn Watch - it's a very taxing job on the soul, after all."

"Therapy sess-"

"Manfred, my boy, be a dear and fetch me some ink and paper. Now, Rook, lie down and tell me when your suicidal intentions have first started..."

----------------------------

"Rook."

"Taash. Bellara."

"Oh, Rook." Bellara sniffed, pushing back tears. "It's been an honour."

"Wait, what? Are you two leaving?"

"No?" Taash frowned. "You are."

"And quite soon, I fear. The Dread Wolf isn't the merciful type." Bellara nodded sagely.

"Hey, hey, I'm not leaving! Solas and I are getting along swimmingly!"

"The only swimming you'll do will be in a neverending nightmare, my friend." Taash said, patting their shoulder. "Well. It's been fun."

----------------------------

"Goodnight, my Lady."

Rook kissed Lady Lavellan's right hand - no, not really. They didn't even touch it with their lips, not wanting to creep her out, and they knew the Dread Wolf would really smite him if they even dared think about touching her.

"Oh, uh... goodnight."

"Your beauty and brilliance eclipse the stars." Rook continued. "I can see now why both Ferelden and Orlais adored you so."

She watched him for a second, confused and embarrassed, then realization shone on her face, and a bright smile appeared on it.

In that moment, Rook knew she knew the real reasons behind their silly behaviour. She even looked happy, as if Rook had done something good.

"Goodnight, Rook." Her smile was amused, now. "Say hi to Solas for me, please."

----------------------------

Rook fell asleep, excitement and apprehension creating a churning cocktail in their stomach. Perhaps Emmrich was right; perhaps they really had a death wish. No sane person would ever tease the ancient elven god of rebellion by flirting with his beloved vhenan.

The prison was darker than usual. They could barely see their feet, and the ground felt shakier, almost crumbly, as if they were standing on sand.

Beneath them, endless darkness, a pit of shadows and oblivion.

"Solas...?"

Then they felt an overwhelming pressure, their head splitting in half, ash in their mouth. Rook groaned, gritting their teeth, and squeezing their eyes shut.

"Oi, cut it out!"

"Your beauty and brilliance eclipse the stars." Solas' cold voice echoed, reaching Rook from all directions; but they couldn't see him, couldn't find him, and the pressure on their head only increased.

"You should be sculpted, to fill the world with your grace."

"It's true! She's quite graceful!"

A growl, then suddenly the pillar of earth and sand on which Rook was standing trembled, and for a moment they truly feared Solas was about to cast them down.

They saw him, then: standing just a few paces away, fire in his eyes, his teeth gritted into a snarl, fists clenched. Poor fellow.

"You disgusting little...!"

He took a deep breath, but Rook could see the vein throbbing on his forehead. When next he spoke, Solas sounded only slightly calmer.

"Leave Lady Lavellan alone. She has no time for your inane words. You are embarrassing her."

"Are you sure? Because I think I saw the prettiest of blushes when I..."

The pillar trembled again, and Rook had to hold onto it to avoid falling down. When they raised their eyes, Solas was gone, and they heard his voice coming from behind.

Very close. Extremely close, so much they thought he was finally standing on their same level.

But they also felt something else, a huge presence, as tall as a mountain, where there should have been only a bald elf. They didn't turn, their instinct telling them they would see too many eyes, and fangs, too.

"Leave her alone." Solas' voice said, sounding the same as before, but also not, an undercurrent of fury and pain hidden beneath every word. "This will be my last warning."

"Fine, fine! I was just joking, and she knows that!"

A moment of silence, then: "... What?"

Rook laughed, the pressure behind their eyelids finally subduing.

"You're still deep in it, huh? Don't worry, she feels the same. Every time we talk about you, she gets this soft look on her face. Oh, and she says hi, by the way."

The huge presence also vanished, and when next Rook blinked, Solas was standing before them again. He looked surprised, but also curious, eager to hear more, hope and sorrow written all over his pale face.

"What, you really thought I was trying to hit on her? She's a great person, but she's not really my type. And I know she has eyes for you only... even though I can't understand why. No offense."

Solas looked away, sorrow winning over hope.

"I often wonder the same."

"Try not to be an ass once you're finally out of here, yes?" Rook grinned at him, feeling their consciousness return in the waking world. "She's been waiting for you."

This time, only hope shone on Solas' face, chasing away the shadows of pain.

----------------------------

Time later, at the apex of their fight against the Evanuris, Solas found himself finally free, walking the corridors and rooms of the Lighthouse as he had done millennia ago, ready to stand against his mortal enemies one more time.

Things were a bit strained between him and Rook's companions. There wasn't - there couldn't be - the same sort of camaraderie he had had with his companions of the Inquisition.

He apologized to Varric, of course. He could barely look him in the eye, so vast was his shame - but the kind dwarf waved off his apologies, an easy smile on his face. And Solas knew he had been forgiven, even though he could scarcely believe it.

And then there was Lavellan, his vhenan. She smiled at him whenever they met in the Lighthouse, or at dinner, eating at the same long table with everyone else.

At first, he tried to be distant, not wanting to hurt her, not sure she actually wanted to have anything to do with him, despite Rook's reassurances.

But then he couldn't stay away from her any longer. He kept looking at her, saw her stealing glances, too, and he finally decided to listen to his heart.

"Good morning." He greeted her one day, when he bumped into her while heading to a quick breakfast.

"Good morning." she replied in kind, her smile soft and luminous like a wisp of the Fade.

"I..." Solas cleared his throat, moving closer to her. He looked at everything but her - her prosthetic arm, the ground, the view from the windows - then he finally found the courage to lock eyes with her.

"You look beautiful, vhenan."

Her smile widened, and an adorable blush coloured her cheeks. Behind her, Scout Harding and Davrin let out a soft "aww".

"Thank you."

"There... There is a balcony overlooking the Fade behind those doors. Would you..." He cleared his throat again, feeling his own cheeks burn. "Would you like to have breakfast there? Together?"

"I'd love to."

Solas returned the smile, a great weight lifted from his shoulders. He offered her his arm, and she took it, letting him guide her.

They were so busy smiling, lost in each other, they didn't see Rook watching them from the railing just above their heads.

"Hah!" Rook shook their head, a fond grin on their face. "Knew it would work."

[johnwickb1tsch]

I demand when John met Helen (please?🥺)

Anything for you, my love! 😘😘😘

(this is an outline-ish thing from...last january? I don't know if ill ever truly write it out, so here's the whole caboodle)

warnings: violence, serious amts of shmoop

Helen goes to a rare book shop curious if they can fix the binding of her dog eared copy of Jane Eyre. They quote her an insane price. She has a meet cute with John in the shop. Maybe she's looking through the classics, trying to find a copy of Jane Eyre so she doesn't destroy her other one more. Maybe she tells him she can't afford to fix her copy. She brought it in to ask. He is sheepish about it, but he says he could fix it for her. “What would you charge?” 

“Nothing. It's a hobby for me. I do it for relaxation.” 

“Wow. Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. You'd be doing me a favor. I could use a new project.”

She cants her head, looking at him. Weighing him. He finds himself standing up a little straighter, hoping he'll make the cut. 

“Ok. But you at least have to let me buy you lunch.” 

“I would like that,” he admits. 

“Deal.” She holds out her hand to shake. He takes her small hand in his, and doesn't want to let go. 

So he fixes her book. 

They go to lunch. And when it's time to part ways, they don't really want to. They go for a walk. And keep talking. He shyly asks if he can take her to dinner. She agrees eagerly. They fall in love in the span of a week, or maybe just that one perfect day. 

They have a date set but John has to text her to say he's not feeling well. She offers to bring him soup. He says that sounds amazing, but he doesn't want her to see him like this. In truth, he was working, and things got out of hand. He's told her he works in security. But she is not prepared for how he looks. 

Black eye. Cuts on his face. Bruised ribs. Bruises everywhere, really. 

She worries that he's trying to break their date. Making up an excuse. He can hear it in her voice. Scared he’ll lose her, (and wanting badly to see her) he agrees to let her come over that night, not sure how it will go. 

He thinks about his Manhattan apartment. Expensive, modern, very few personal touches. He's afraid she'll hate it. 

When she comes over with takeout she is shocked, and teary eyed. Seeing him in pain like this hurts her. 

“Oh my god, John, what happened to you?” 

“Sometimes, my work gets a little...spicy?” 

Lol. She just looks at him. That look. 

“I'm guessing you can't actually tell me what happened.” 

With a sad smile he shakes his head. “I want to share everything I can with you,” he admits. “But some things, it's better you don't know.” 

She chews on her lip as he tells her this. He wonders if this will be their deal breaker. But in the end she nods. “Ok, John. I trust you.”

Hearing that makes him feel better than the pain pills he'd taken earlier. 

“We could...watch a movie?” he offers, thinking snuggling with her in his arms might fix him. 

“Okay.” 

He falls asleep halfway through, and she holds him, looking at his wounds. He looks so boyish and innocent in his sleep. She fights not to cry. 

To make up for ruining their date night he offers to cook her dinner. Afterwards they kiss, in front of the window, the lights of New York shining down below. He pulls her against him, squeezing her in his strong arms like he can't get enough of her. It steals her breath away, she wants him so much.

Later,  they're out and about. She hugs him under his suit jacket, feels a blocky shape at his back. “Are you...carrying a gun?” 

“Honestly, I'm usually carrying a gun,” he admits.

After the business that went sideways, he doesn't want to get caught unawares. He can tell she doesn’t like it, but trusts him enough to go along with it. 

“Ok…”

Something happens where she gets to see him in action. It's awesome... and scary, honestly. Maybe they're walking to his car when they're ambushed by five guys. The leader is like, “Evening, John.”

“This isn't a good time, Mickey.”

M looks between Helen and John with a leer. “No time like the present, I say.”

They fight, and John lays them all out. In the end he’s taken Micky’s gun and is about to shoot him in the face. It's instinct and reflex. Finish the job. But he hears a gasp behind him. Looks to see Helen looking terrified. So he disassembles the gun. Drops all the bullets into Mickey’s face before throwing the pieces at him. 

“Come on, sweetheart, let's go.” They drive away. She is in shock. 

Afterwards, they go park somewhere with a view of the city below. She is only looking at him though. “I scared you,” he says. It's not really a question. 

“Yes and no,” she answers honestly. “I don't believe you would ever hurt me.” 

“Good. It's the truth.” 

“But I…” She trails off.

“It's OK,” he sighs, feeling so tired inside. “You can say it.” 

“I'm not sure I really believe your job is legal, John.” 

He sighs and looks at the steering wheel. “You... might be right about that.” 

She nods. His heart is in his throat. This is it. This is how he loses her, he's convinced. And she has every right to leave. He never had any business pursuing her in the first place, but…it feels like dying. 

He waits for the axe to fall, his eyes squeezed closed. 

“I don't know how to reconcile the man I saw today, and the man I know who repairs books, and cooks me gourmet dinners, and takes me on long walks while holding my hand.” 

John rests his forehead on his steepled fingers. “I’ve...never really had a choice. I was trained from childhood, to do what I do, for very bad people. It doesn't excuse me...but it is what it is. Maybe I enjoyed it, once. I am not a good man. But now…” He looks at her, with the look of a drowning man. “I would give anything, just to have you.” 

There are tears in her eyes too, he realizes. 

“Do you have to do it, forever?” she asks. “Is there no way out?” 

He shakes his head, to himself as much as her. “It's very rare,” he tells her. “And very difficult.”

She nods, and moves closer. “Will you hold me?” 

“Always.” 

He pulls her in close, thinking he could die happy like this, with her in his arms. 

Later, he asks point blank. He has to know, he can't contain it. “Are you leaving me, Helen?”

He's so certain the answer is yes. She'll try to let him down softly. I'm not sure I can do this. It's not you, it's me. 

He can hardly believe his ears when she answers, “You're not getting rid of me that easily, John Wick.”

He's not sure if the sound he makes is a laugh or a sob. He kisses her, desperate for the affirmation of her love, hardly able to believe his luck. He feels like his heart might explode, for all the love he feels for this woman. 

“I love you so fucking much,” he growls as he kisses her like he might devour her. 

Likewise, she tells him with tears in her eyes and her fingers in his hair. “Don't stop kissing me.” 

“Never,” he tells her. 

The next week he finds himself buying a ring. 

And the week after that, he finds himself bargaining with Viggo Tarasov, his freedom in exchange for slaughtering all of the boss’s rivals in one mad night of mayhem. 

If anyone can do it, it’s John Wick.

[thethingything]

I keep randomly remembering that the reason our brain is especially fucked and a bunch of our symptoms are worse right now is because of like, an avoidable external thing that's chemically affected our nervous system instead of either our symptoms flaring up on their own or some specific stressful event triggering it, and for some reason that keeps making us feel especially bad about it.

like our mental health being bad because of stressful stuff going on and our mental illnesses randomly flaring up both suck, but I can handle our brain just doing its own thing and/or reacting to what's going on around us.

but something about it being a medication that someone else prescribed that's changed the way our brain functions is significantly more distressing in a way I can't put into words properly. a lot of the symptoms we've got (apathy, brain fog, alexithymia, memory problems, etc) are very typical depression and dissociation symptoms, but they're like a weird version of them that feels very different to how we normally experience them.

the only way I can describe the difference in feeling is that it feels more "artificial" but I can't even really describe what I mean by that. if normal brain fog is looking out the window on a foggy day, this is looking out of a window that's been covered with those frosted vinyl sheets. you can't see shit either way, but the feeling is very different.

I just desperately want it to go away. I'm finding it hard to be enthusiastic about things I'm normally excited about no matter how bad our depression gets, and our usual coping mechanisms for getting our brain to register positive things aren't really working because it's not the same underlying mechanism.

it feels like any control I did have over our symptoms and anything I could do to help with them has been stripped away and all I can do is wait it out and hope it fixes itself, and the whole "being given a drug that changes how your brain functions and takes away your control over what your brain is doing" is pretty much the exact phobia I was trying to learn to figure out how to deal with before we get dental work done, and for the dental work it'd be like... idk probably an hour at most, whereas now I'm just stuck dealing with experiencing it 24/7 for an undetermined amount of time

[13eyond13]

actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[exopelagic]

I am baking cake at midnight and it is going to kill me <3

[carolinanadeau]

Embarrassing, ridiculous TMI under the readmore (not gross! just way too personal!)

I do not have PTSD and I don't want to be a part of the "flippantly using the word 'trigger'" problem at all, but I think I finally found a proper name for this harmful behavior I've wrestled with since at least high school, and it's called self-triggering.

Again, I don't have trauma... well, everybody has some trauma, but that's not the thing I'm triggering myself about here. And if I explained what I had actually been doing to myself (which may be obvious to someone who's reading between the lines but I don't want to talk about it for reasons I've stated before), it would sound laughably, mockably trivial. But the results are still an acute increase in depression and obsessive negative/angry thinking and distress and alienation from something that usually gives me joy... so it's still harmful to me, no matter how stupid and frivolous it sounds. Perhaps it's an OCD/depression self-triggering instead of a PTSD self-triggering.

I reiterate, what I'm discussing is not trauma, not EVER claiming it is, but:

In a similar vein, one set of case studies (De Young, 1984) conceptualized approaching situations reminiscent of the trauma as “counterphobic behavior” (i.e., an attempt to master anxiety by repeatedly approaching its source, resulting in a greater sense of control).  

I understand this, the "maybe if I keep looking I'll become desensitized", and "I need more information so I can better avoid this thing and people associated!" Or even "well maybe it wasn't really that bad, maybe I'm remembering it as worse than it was" (I'm not, if anything I've forgotten just how bad it was!)

Likewise, if trauma survivors perceive reexperiencing symptoms as inevitable, they may wish to decide the time and place of their occurrence, affording them a sense of control.

...is that the irrational "gotta get it over with" compulsion??  

Alarmingly, many users also report being unable to stop this behavior once they have begun despite the dysregulation and distress that it causes.

This is how it goes: I will read or even just skim through something that causes me serious emotional distress, whether that is a fanfiction with something horrible happening to characters I find comfort in, or a really nasty article full of harsh, baseless criticisms of something I love so much. (Again, these things sound laughable but to the way my mind works, it is not. Though I also do something similar with actual bad memories from my life [I think everyone does], well, you can't "reread" or refresh those. And I also have the power to delete/destroy any physical records I have of those.)

So, I will vow to never ever let this wretched thing enter my eyeballs again. I will ruminate about it and quietly seethe about the fact that it exists, and that some people even like/agree with it! I won't be able to get certain upsetting phrases out of my head and I will obsess and it will ruin my enjoyment of related things whenever I get reminded of it.

Maybe I will find ways to block or blacklist to lower my chances of seeing it. And I will be very vigilant about this for a long time and will successfully avoid it, even if I see reminders here and there that make me mad. Slowly, I'll only remember a few specific sentences from the thing, and even those may be unclear.

And then I'll suddenly develop the belief that I "have to" look at it again for some reason, and my heart will start pounding as I start bracing myself for this "inevitability".  And eventually the irrational, self-destructive side will win out and I'll do it, believing that it's like ripping a bandaid off for the greater good. Gotta get it over with, you see. I'll only glance over it, of course, because this time I already know how bad it is - I'll just read a few sentences here and there on my way to do something "sensible" like block the url or check who liked it so I know it wasn't my friends - but it will be enough to make me feel like absolute shit for days again, and now I have these fresh memories in my head to contend with and the cycle of trying to forget these bad bad thoughts and be able to freely enjoy the thing I love starts all over again.

and that's what you missed on Glee!

[the-acid-pear]

Dissociation is probably the easiest state of mind for me to notice. When any other matter is modifying my brain it's impossible for me to be sure if I'm experiencing it or not, but for dissociation is SOOO easy because I can just say my legal name and not feel weird and that just solves it 👍

[eff-plays]

The way Astarion reacts depending on how you compliment him in the mirror scene (I have no interest in insulting him so I won't be covering that here, have fun though!) drives me fucking insane.

"I want to know what the world sees when it looks at me. What you see."

And you get two types of responses. First, your choices for compliments are

Strong, piercing eyes.

The creases when you laugh.

Pick the first, and he's pleased. "Go on," he says, sounding very seductive. You're giving him exactly what he wants, and he's encouraging it.

Pick the second, and he gets upset. He's an eternally young vampire, not your doting grandmother! You can do better than that. Even if you meant it as a compliment (I know my Tav definitely did), he doesn't seem to take it that way.

Your second options are

That dangerous smile.

The way your hair curls around your ears.

Once again, the first one pleases him, and he even praises your efforts. Very good. Now finish the scene and tell him he's beautiful.

But if you say the second, he gets exasperated. This is meant to be flattery, not poetry. Just tell him he's beautiful and we can call it a day, he says with a dismissive wave of his hand. He doesn't need to hear this crap, just tell him what he wants and fuck off.

Of course, it doesn't matter how you get to this point, and every dialogue option at the end of the scene nets you the same amount of approval. If you call him beautiful, it's +1. Call someone else beautiful, it's +1. If you ask whether he just wants shallow praise (aka don't call him beautiful), you get +1. So this is me pulling this out of my ass I guess.

I always choose to call him beautiful becuase 1) he is and 2) my Tav thinks so too and would oblige him if he asked for it that directly.

But I am obsessed with the different routes you can take to get to this point and what they imply.

Strong, piercing eyes and dangerous smile pleases him more outwardly, but doesn't actually affect the outcome. He's satisfied and confident with these compliments. They confirm what he's trying to project into the world, what he aspires to have and to be.

The creases when he laughs? The hair curling around his ears? Those are things he can't control, can't use against someone else. But he asked to be seen, and if this is what Tav sees, then what does that mean for him?

Why are they complimenting his laugh lines? Why are they speaking poetry at him? Why are they seeing things he has no control over, and why are they revealing them to him?

He doesn't want shallow praise. Questioning this nets approval, and giving it to him doesn't increase approval. What he wants is assurance that what he's trying to be is what the world sees, that he's in control.

And if you actually act as a mirror, point out the things unique to him that you see, he gets uncomfortable, because you're showing a reflection of someone he thinks he's not, of someone he has no control over. And that's scary, even if it's supposedly complimentary.

Because what's scarier than losing control?

But then, compared to how genuinely upset he seems when you insult him (I looked these up on YT for context), the laugh lines and hair curls are still accepted as compliments. So what does he think when Tav says these things?

They see past his piercing eyes and dangerous smile. They see something else that they like even more, things he's not aware of or doesn't appreciate as much. What does that feel like, to cultivate such a perfect image of oneself for the purposes of seducing and tricking others, and then be stumped when someone walks past all that and points out something entirely different that they noticed and found endearing?

Do you do him a favor, and tell him you see only what he wants to be? Or do you speak the truth, and show him what he actually is? Which one is better? Which one is worse?

[help-itrappedmyself]

Dead on Main AU

Masterpost

Guys, I'm so sorry. But here's this!

~~~~

Danny blinks and he is somewhere else. He’s sitting at a dining room table, surrounded. There are so many people here. They’re all talking over each other, some yelling, some laughing. This scene comes as a great surprise to him, who -one blink ago- was trying and failing to do his homework at home in his room. Danny shoots up, his chair making a horrible noise as he pushes it away so fast it tumbles over. Everyone in the room turns to look over at him like he’s insane. 

“Oh my god, who are you people?” Danny did not mean to say this out loud, but at the sound of his voice he startles. Danny takes a moment to assess, and then, “Oh my god who am I?”  He is tall, and big, and this is certainly not his body, what is he wearing.

The boy sitting to the right of Danny, a little shorter than he is, with black hair and blue eyes (though now that he’s paying attention that does describe most people in the room),  starts chuckling lightly. “Uh, Jason? Are you good?” 

Danny turns to stare him right in the eyes. “What day is it?”

And he can tell the concern around the table is just ratcheting up every time he opens his stupid mouth.

“Did you hit your head on patrol?” The voice comes from the only blond and one of the only girls in the room, who's to the left of the person across from him. The person across from him is another boy with black hair and blue eyes who is studying Danny in a way that makes him uncomfortable, that under-a-microscope look that makes you feel like you’re failing at something.

“I have no idea if Jason hit his head.” Danny says. “I was just trying to remember if it was my birthday.”

And if he thought the room was busy when he first arrived here it is absolute pandemonium now. Everyone starts shouting and asking questions that he can’t even hear over the shouting. Someone with white hair in a suit just came through a door he didn’t even see earlier to stand by the only person not shouting, who -Danny would guess- is the only other adult in this room, witting at the head of the table. He also has black hair and blue eyes, and where almost everyone else’s reaction was panic, he froze instead. The person across from Danny also isn’t shouting, but the person next to Danny on his right has now fully stood up and looks like he might actually jump across the table to win the argument he ended up in. 

“Are you Jason’s soulmate?” is the main gist of the shouting that Danny can interpret but he’s more concerned with actual Jason at the moment. If they switched bodies... Then Jason might be in trouble…

“Hey, I forget, how long is this body swap supposed to last again?” Danny asks.

“Until you and Jason have physical contact. You have to actually meet.” The boy sitting across from him explains. He seems like one of the only ones that heard Danny talk, everyone else was still shouting. 

“Oh, that just seems terrible. What if we’re in different countries or something?” Danny complained. “Everyone in the world is just supposed to be able to drop everything and afford to fly across the world. The universe is really trying to screw people over now. Honestly, am I in a different country? Where even are we right now?”

“You’re in Gotham.” This voice was new, coming from the head of the table to Danny’s right. 

“Oh no. Nope.” Danny started backing away from the table, almost tripping on his overturned chair. “Absolutely not, no, how do I get out of here?” He starts earnestly looking for a door to get out of this place, but there are three doors he can see and he has no idea where any of them go, and doesn’t this room have any windows? What kind of a room doesn’t have any windows? Do they like to eat in a basement?

“Jason- not Jason. Uh, you need to calm down, everything will be fine alright, We’ll get you and Jason introduced no problem.” Danny swivels to track the voice and it’s the one who was sitting next to him, he’s walking towards him with his hands up and out in front of him. 

“I have to get home.” Danny breathes. 

“We can get you there, promise. Now, I’m Dick, can you tell me your name?”

“Your name is Dick? Who named you Dick?” Danny is so confused he’s stopped panicking. “How old are you for you to go by the name Dick?”

“Okay, rude.” Dick sounds like a petulant child so Danny’s estimations for his age are continuously dropping. “I’m 24.”

Danny snorts. “Okay.” The blond girl starts laughing over at the table. “I’m uh, I’m Danny.”

“Nice to meet you. Sort of. I’m Tim.” The guy from across from him had made it over to stand next to Dick. “There’s a lot of us here today so the one laughing like a hyena is Steph. That one there is Duke.” African-American, still with black hair but he has brown eyes and waves once introduced. “Damian is the short one next to him, and Cass was sitting across from Dick earlier. Our dad, Jason’s dad-” 

“Not my dad!” Steph interrupted. Tim waves her off.

“Everyone but Steph's dad, is over there, Bruce. Alfred, our butler is the one next to him.” Alfred gives a slight nod to his head. Bruce is just staring at him.

“So, names out of the way. You said you wanted to go home, where do you live?”

“Amity Park.”

[fox-guardian]

hey guys did you know that um. did you know. first of all did you know i'm losing my mind, secondly, do y'all remember in tma how when someone reads a written statement, they don't really Stop unless they're interrupted? and they read the whole thing easy cheesy, no issues with reading whatever words are there? like. jon literally could read french for a whole statement and was Fine. granted, that's Jon, but like nobody else struggled with pronunciations and whatnot (that i can recall)

presumably, this is an eye thing. either as employees of the institute, or because everyone there is just also eye-aligned in some degree (melanie had the ghost hunting show, the eye is fond of martin, etc)

and then there's tim in season 3 ep 86

[Sigh] Statement of… uh, Benjamin Hatendi… Hateendi? Regarding a… [papers rustling] a blanket. Dead friend. Monster. Regarding his unavoidable and gruesome end. How he tried to hide. He couldn’t. Statement is from… 1983, March 2nd. And I guess… [long sigh] I guess I’m doing this one. Tim Stoker. Archival assistant… Archival prisoner at the Magnus Institute.

correct me if im wrong but i don't recall anyone struggling with pronunciations before this bit. but that's not even the biggest thing here, that's just a lil Taste, a lil Flavor.

note the phrasing there. "Regarding his unavoidable and gruesome end." why would he say this when the written text on the statement says this:

Uh, right. Benjamin Hatendi’s account of… [rustling pages] oh for… a, a strange encounter. Er, statement date, March 2nd, 1983. Melanie King recording. Apparently.

"a strange encounter". that's it. nothing about an unavoidable death, just a "strange encounter". Tim Why Did You Say That.

why would our dear timothy bimothy, who is being pushed to the brink, who is becoming rapidly more depressed and losing hope, say this?

this isn't the only time he's said some weirdly grim shit tho (ep 104)

There was never really any hope for me, though, was there? This was how it was always going to go.

and then there's this bit from elias apparently having Looked into tim (also 104)

TIM All right, hit me with your X-ray eyes then, boss. What do you see? ELIAS Disruption. An unpredictable, angry man with nothing left but the desire to feel in some way revenged. TIM [Sarcastic] Ooh, terrifying! Surely only magic could have let you see so deep inside my very soul.

"nothing left" but the desire to feel revenged. and tim doesn't dispute this, because it's true.

when he first joined the institute he did so in order to look for answers about danny, but then he stopped seriously looking. and now that the circus is back, this is all the drive he has left. not looking for answers, just wanting revenge. closure. an end, if you will.

this is Literally It For Him. a couple lines later he suggests elias kill him, he's At The Breaking Point.

he is so tired, he's lost all hope, and he's saying all this grim shit about "unavoidable death" and "this is how it was always going to go" like hmmmm sounds familiar doesn't it. DOESN'T IT (<- is going insane)

(ep 11) [....] despite the rapid response of the paramedics and how much of his medical history I had immediately to hand, there was nothing I could do to save him. (ep 11) I have no responsibility to try and prevent whatever fate is coming for you. Based on my previous experience, such a thing is likely impossible anyway,[....] (ep 121) There. That was it. That was our fate; where we would always be.

hmmmm sounds a bit like oliver huh? everyone's favorite ex-accountant avatar of the end?? right??

but then there's this last bit i have from ep 86.

why did he stop reading the statement

Statement. “My parents never let me have a nightlight. I was always afraid, but they were ju–” Ugh, this is stupid.

why did he do that. again, correct me if im wrong but when else has someone just Stopped Reading like that without someone or something else interrupting them? why could tim just stop himself?

my theory is this: at this point, tim is completely gone from being aligned with the eye. he no longer seeks to know what happened to danny, he just wants closure. he doesn't wanna do any statement work, and he keeps mentioning these tidbits about hopelessness and the inevitability of terrible events, specifically death.

the eye isn't compelling him to read the statements like it does the others, because it doesn't have as strong a hold anymore. the grip is slipping from him. and by the time the unknowing rolls around, maybe it's lost him for good. maybe he finally fell into a different power he never meant to serve, and yet, he does.

and maybe. just maybe. because i'm so not in denial. but MAYBE. he did die in the unknowing. but maybe he got better.

basically end!tim truthers rise up, this is how end!tim kayaking with his bf oliver banks can still win, etc etc I'm Going Feral <3

[star-girl-05]

Texting Prank

Rafe Cameron x Reader

~★~❤︎~✦~

“Come on Y/n it’ll be hilarious” Sarah egged on with Kiara quickly agreeing with her. For the last four minutes the two of them have been trying to get you to do this texting prank they saw on Tiktok. Apparently Sarah did it with John B and it was very entertaining so now she wants you to do it to Rafe.

You weren't opposed to teasing Rafe but breaking up with him for a prank seemed a little harsh and you doubt he would find it funny. Yet here you are letting the girls help you craft the perfect breakup text. As soon as you hit send you could practically feel the handprints he was bound to leave on your ass when you tell him it's a prank. 

It only took two minutes for Rafe to respond, 'baby don’t mess with me like this'

You wanted to cave instantly but, Sarah yanked the phone out of your hand before you had a chance. She's instantly texting him back, not allowing you to see her reply until she presses send. 

'Don’t make this harder than it has to be, I just need my space'

You were quickly reaching for your phone. How could Sarah say that? After that text your phone was blowing up. 

“Sarah give me my phone” you were desperate to text Rafe that it was just a joke before he went to crazy.

“No you gotta wait till they’ve gone fully insane then you tell them the truth”

“Jesus Sarah your psycho” Kie chimed in making you shake your head in agreement. She truly was for messing with Rafe like this. Though all the consequences are going to fall on you.

“I love Rafe but do we really want to mess with the fragile stability that is his emotions” Your trying to get Sarah give up but she's just as stubborn as her brother. Finding joy in the predicament she's placed you in.

“She has a point” Kie agreed, Sarah just rolled her eyes saying that made it more fun. In moments like these you realize just how similar Sarah and Rafe are. The two of them loved messing with each other, this was just Sarah's newest way to get under his skin. 

“Jesus I think he's going to explode” she shoves the phone screen in your face “Look at these messages your dating a real psycho” 

“Yeah but he's my psycho so give me my phone back” Sarah finally hands you your phone, texting him right away that it's a prank but just as your thumb hovers over the send button A knock sounds at the door. 

Then his voice sounds out “LET ME IN NOW!” your moving before he finishes his sentence hoping if you get there fast enough your punishment tonight won’t be that bad. You already know you won’t be able to walk tomorrow and definitely not wear a bikini for the next week. As soon as you open the door Rafe is pushing you against the nearest wall. Once again a phone being shoved in your face. “Tell me pretty girl do you think this is funny” his eyes move from you to the girls who are standing on the stairs. 

“I take it this was your stupid idea” his question is directed at Sarah giving a nasty look before he sets his eyes back on you. “What have I told you about listening to Sarah, guess I’m going to have to remind you what happens when you mess with me.” He's hauling you over his shoulder making you gasp. With a hit on your ass he walks out off the house, shoving you into hi car and driving you back to his house. 

Sarah called you the next morning to make sure you were still alive. With a raspy voice you confirmed you're still alive but you're not going to be able to go the party tomorrow.  

[lomlhwa]

glory hole (v.c)

pairing: sex worker!reader x patron!vernon

preview: vernon's friends found a club that has secret glory holes. they know he's dying to get laid, so why not visit the glory holes?

tags/warnings: fem reader, reader is basically bent over a table and chained down, monster cock vernon, spanking, overstimulation, squirting, pet names (slut, whore, cumdump), degrading, reader calls vernon 'sir', unprotected penetration (wrap it before you tap it), creampies

trigger warnings: n/a

wc: 1.2k

song recs for this fic: gimmie more by britney spears

a/n: this one's a doozy

vernon anxiously nibbles on his fingernail as he waits for his friends to arrive. he’s standing outside a raunchy club, looking like a total creep. why did he agree to this? there’s no way he’s actually this desperate to get off. 

just as he’s about to walk away, his friends round the corner, laughing and carrying on. “yo vernon! you excited, buddy?” his friend, mingyu, asks. vernon shrugs. “i guess so.” mingyu throws his arm over vernon’s shoulder and guides him into the club.

they head straight for the back of the room, finding a small desk that looks like a reception desk. “hey, reservation for jeonghan?” his other friend walks up. reservations for glory holes is insane. “ah, welcome back sir. 4 of you today?” the receptionist asks and jeonghan nods. the receptionist smiles and types something into her computer.

“would any of you gentlemen like protection? we make sure our workers are all clean but if you’d like the extra precaution, let me know.” everyone shakes their heads so vernon follows suit. the woman smiles again. she hands all four of them waivers to sign. he reads it carefully before signing it and handing it back.

the receptionist rises from her chair and walks over to unlock the door beside the group of friends. “your rooms are numbers 5 through 8. remember, feel free to engage in any of your fantasies as long as you don’t seriously injure anyone. their chains are easy to rotate if you wanna change positions. enjoy your 2 hours with our lovely women.” with that, the door is shut. 

“alright boys, see you later,” mingyu shouts before running into a room and clicking it locked. all of the other disperse as well, leaving vernon alone. he wanders to the last one of their rooms available. room number 6. he can already hear the sounds of skin slapping coming from other rooms.

he opens the door hesitantly, finding you bent over, humming to yourself. when he clicks the door locked, you jump and stop humming. “welcome sir. feel free to use me as you please. i’m here for your pleasure,” you recite the standard welcome message to the new patron who has just walked in. you can only hope it’s not some gross middle aged man with a tiny cock again.

when you feel no contact for another 5 minutes, you get worried. “sorry, i don’t mean to not touch you, i got dragged here by my friends and i feel bad using you.” you can’t help but stifle a small giggle. a man feeling bad about using a glory hole? that’s a new one. “sir, this is my job. just fuck me already.” by now, you’re certain he’s an ugly, washed up man. 

finally, you hear his belt jingle and you know he’s sucking it up. you hear him take a deep breath before shoving into you. you gasp at the size, your walls stretching painfully around him. you grip your chains with such force that your knuckles turn white. 

“fuck, you feel so fucking good,” he mutters before beginning to move. he starts off slow, knowing that the stretch is painful. he grips your hips tightly, leaving finger indents in your soft skin. he snaps your hips against yours, driving his cock against your g-spot and prodding your cervix. it’s been so long since you actually enjoyed a patron, but this felt so good. you wished you could reach your arm back to hold his arm or something. 

“you’re such a good slut, aren’t you?” he says before landing a hard smack on your ass. clearly he has managed to get much more comfortable. you nod your head, agreeing with him. you can feel your release building up with every thrust. such a timid man fucking so well is unheard of. but you’re loving this. you grip your chains for dear life, gasping for air as your orgasm creeps up. “god, please sir i’m gonna cum,” you beg, barely fighting it off. 

“you can cum, but i’m not gonna stop fucking you. i’m not done yet. i’m gonna use your hole until i cum” vernon smacks your ass again and you fall over the edge. your legs shake violently. if it weren’t for the chains, you would be snapping your legs closed. he continues to jackhammer into your hole, pushing you past the edge and towards another orgasm. you notice that his thrusts are getting sloppy, signaling to you that he’s close. “please cum inside me, sir. i need it so bad,” you plead, your walls squeezing around him. he digs his nails into your sides as he cums, filling you to the brim. the sensation sends you into another orgasm, this time you squirt all over his legs and the floor.

“aw, the cumdump likes being filled so much that she couldn’t take it,” he snickers, running his fingers over your sensitive core. you shake and twitch at every small touch. “i’m gonna flip you over, i wanna see your pretty face.” he hooks his arms around your waist and rolls you over. being rolled over holds your arms down to your chest with the chains, still trapped. 

when you’re finally situated and you see his face, you’re astonished to see how beautiful this man is. you almost wish this wasn’t a business exchange, but you know better than to get attached to customers. “well aren’t you a pretty little thing. so pretty and such a whore,” he comments, stroking your face. he ducks down to situate your crossed legs around his waist. he reaches down between you to shove back into you.

“i have 15 minutes left, i’m gonna get another orgasm out of you.” 15 minutes? how has it already almost been 2 hours? he slides into you easier this time, your hole having yet to recover from his previous entry. your arms strain against your chains, wishing you could grab onto him to ground yourself. he pounds into you ruthlessly, his only focus being to drive you over the edge.

he reaches down to rub your clit and you throw your head back, your eyes crossing involuntarily. “oh my fucking god,” you croak, your voice getting caught in the back of your throat. you squeeze your legs around his waist, desperate for release. with 5 minutes left on the clock, you plead for your orgasm. “cum with me, slut. i’m gonna fill you up again,” he demands, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face. 

as he feels you tighten for a final time, he leans down to kiss you. you hadn’t been kissed in so long so this surprised you. you kiss him back, cumming onto his cock as he simultaneously fills you up to the brim.

he pulls out of you and flips you back over into your original position just as his time strikes zero. “h-have a good day sir. feel f-free to return whenever you’d like,” you stutter the standard goodbye message. he slaps your ass one last time before pulling his pants back up and walking out. 

as the door closes behind him, he finds his friends coming out of their own rooms as well. “so? how was it?” jun asks him, patting him on the back. “so good, and she’s so hot,” he says, gesturing back to his room. 

“i will be coming back.”

© lomlhwa 2024

[bluecrocss]

Yes. You are racist. (Buckle up, this is gonna be a long one)

So approximately half a year since the premier of the Disney+ Percy Jackson show, and almost two years since the announcement of the Trio's casting, I would like to take this moment to look back at the insane, racist and anti-black backlash that was launched at Leah Sava Jeffries and a few other cast members from the PJO fandom.

I'm not concerned with the trolls who are openly racist, who resorted to racist slurs and outright threats, everyone agrees that they "took it too far". I want to talk about the rest of you, the "I'm not racist, but.." people, the "What's wrong with wanting book accuracy?" people. Just to let you know, for the unasked question... yes, yes you are.

I've noticed the Percy Jackson fandom has been lording some weird superiority complex over a certain *unnamed* fandom that has fallen out of grace due to their recently outed bigot of an author. But honestly, y'all are not much different. The amount of vitriol and anti-blackness I have seen from this fandom (beyond just bullying a 12 year old girl), y'all don't have a leg to stand on.

Below is a breakdown of the most common arguments I have seen used to justify y'alls absolutely insane bigotry. I am going to explain why none of these justify the amount of anger and vitriol y'all have sent towards Leah, Rick or any of the cast.

I am not here to argue, and this is not a democracy. I am giving you a chance for some self-reflection and to understand that this pattern of violence directed towards POC actors (mostly black women) has never been justified in the name of "book accuracy"/"comic book accuracy"/"ending forced diversity" or whatever other excuses y'all try to make up.

If you still try to justify or argue further for any of these points, I will just block you. I am not coddling you through your racism. If anyone has seen any other dumb arguments floating around that I might've missed, feel free to sound off in the comments.

She's not book accurate:

Neither is Percy, Luke, Grover, Dionysus, Poseidon, and just about every other named character.

Rick already made it clear that physical features were not the priority with casting, rather it was actors that embodied the role. So why are the biggest complaints about Annabeth and Zeus? 🤔

What? You're gonna say everyone else got backlash too? I see you trying to obscure the main issue by playing dumb 😉

See my friend, yes, there were one or two comments about how Percy's hair should be black or how Luke is supposed to be blonde, but as soon as Leah was cast, none of those actors got any significant backlash. In fact, Walker and Charlie literally have an army of fan girls at their beck and call, calling them the perfect Percy and Luke, despite neither being "Book accurate". But then again, have we not observed the pattern of White boy of the month vs WOC to hate for the year? (Yes, I know Charlie isn't white. Further adds to the irony, doesn't it).

Why include character descriptions if you won't stay true to them, you cry? Well, my dear sweet moron, see, books and TV are two different mediums. Because in literature, you can't *Literally* SEE the characters, the author has to add descriptions to paint a picture in your mind, in TV... that's not an issue. So unless the character's appearance is necessary to the plot (like Luke's scar, or Nico being Italian) the show runners can actually focus on more important things.. Like ACTING and PERSONALITY.

2. It's just not how I imagined her:

News flash, babe! ANNABETH ISN'T REAL. None of these character are. They are concepts that originated from the brain of Mr. Rick Riordan. It doesn't matter how YOU imagined her. There are millions of people who read these books that imagined her several different ways. When the creator of the character watched Leah's audition and said, 'Yes! She embodies the character I created!", your imagined version of Annabeth ceased to matter. And guess what? The books still exist... they have not been burned. Your version of Annabeth has not disappeared. Go read the books.

3. Zeus can't be black/Gods have to be Greek/*Insert Character* can't be black:

Y'all did not read the books, I swear. You have to be fake fans looking to troll atp.

The gods move based off the center of western civilization. They change their forms/environment to reflect the culture they are occupying (they did it with Rome, now they're doing it with America). The gods change forms all the time. How we see them is not their true form as a mortal would disintegrate if they were to see their true form.

America is a cultural melting pot (specifically NY where Mount Olympus is now based). If the god's choose forms that reflect the current society they inhabit, they could literally be any race (keep in mind NYC is only 33% white).

All of this is literally SPELLED OUT in the Lightning Thief.

Furthermore, if you're going to push the ethnically Greek thing... Poseidon is British with a British accent and Hermes is Latino. The only ethnically Greek actor is Dionysus (who still doesn't look book accurate). Y'all are sounding like some white supremacists because do you forget that race is a social construct?

Before the advent of the transatlantic slave trade, I can promise you that the Greeks and the Anglo-Saxons did NOT view themselves as the same people. Why are y'all not taking issue with Poseidon's actor then?

Also, Percy Jackson has canonically had a slew of explicitly black demigods since the second book (including Harriet Tubman, which I have mixed feelings about 😭), so I genuinely have no idea where some of y'all are going with this point.

4. She was our smart blonde representation:

Don't pmo. I swear to God!

White, blonde women have NEVER been excluded from Hollywood. Representation is not something you lacked. The dumb blonde stereotype was a simple branch off of a larger misogynistic "dumb woman" stereotype. It has not truly been relevant since the mid 2000s outside of childish jokes.

This iteration of Percy Jackson will probably not go beyond the first 5 books, based off pacing and the age of the actors. So here's a fun game: 5 bucks to the first person who can find me a quote in the first 5 Percy Jackson books, where Annabeth laments her insecurities about being blonde (hint: there aren't any).

Also, her blonde hair does not hold her back at Camp because she is head of the Athena Cabin who are highly respected (and guess what?), ARE ALL BLONDE!

Her insecurities about her hair color are two or three lines at most in the later books, not this fundamental, core part of her character y'all all of a sudden wanna pretend it was. And guess what, as a non-blonde black girl, I was able to read those scenes of Annabeth feeling undervalued because of her looks and relate to her even if she didn't look like me at the time.

Why all of a sudden can y'all not do that with a black Annabeth? By every metric black girls are undervalued for their intelligence in academia more than white girls are, regardless of hair color. So your little representation of a woman undervalued by her looks would still hold. Do y'all dehumanize black women so much, that you are incapable of empathizing with show!Annabeth's plight in the way I could with Book!Annabeth simply because she doesn't look exactly like you?

Your issue isn't that she isn't blonde, it's that she is NOT WHITE.

Furthermore, Becky Riordan had tweeted previously (before the show was even cast) that Annabeth never needed to be blonde (probably recalling the BS y'all put Alexandra Daddario through), so even if they cast a white Annabeth, the blonde hair was never a guarantee. the author and producers all agree that it was not a significant part of her character. It's been a non-issue since day one.

Also, stop acting like smart blondes are rare in media... If you don't go watch some Legally blonde, Iron Man (Pepper Potts), Zack and Cody (Maddie), Liv and Maddie, FMAB (Winry), Captain Marvel, She-Ra, Buffy, The boys (starlight) etc. etc., and go sit down somewhere 🙄🙄🙄 (those were literally all things I've watched recently, off the top of my head, btw 💀)

5. It's not about race, but...:

Yes it is. It was always bout race. No other actors got as much hate as Leah. Her grandmother and other family members on IG had to mute their comments because they were getting so many threats.

Alexandra Daddario had to come to her defense on Twitter. Rick had to put out an official statement on his website. This girl has endured years of psychological torment for simply having the best audition. No one else is book accurate, no one else is ethnically Greek (except Jason Mantzoukas). Walker literally has British and German ancestry.

Why was she being called racial slurs on reddit and in youtube comments?

I know what you're gonna say, "I actually had problems with the entire cast", "I actually had a bigger issue with Walker's hair color", blah blah blah. Then why aren't you in Walker's comment sections? Why are you only making your displeasure known on posts defending/advocating for Leah? Why is she always your first example of 'wrong casting"?

Well, she "looks the most different"... Look up the term "scapegoating".

"Oh, I don't agree with the harassment. I just don't like the casting." Guess what? She's already been cast. They are not going to uncast her. What do you get out of still complaining about it.

All the vitriol you're stirring about her when you complain about her on Social media, it is directing people to send her hate, even if you're not writing it directly. It's is not enough to "not agree" with the racism, it is your duty to actively prevent it. And btw, these are young gen z actors, they are active on social media. They see the edits of themselves (even comment on it) and they most likely see these little "harmless" complaints you're posting. Are your upset feelings really worth contributing to the racist dogpile on this poor girl?

6. Why couldn't they atleast give her blonde braids?:

Why should they? Y'all wanted blonde because of the "dumb blonde" trope... that doesn't apply to POC.

A blonde black girl is gonna be viewed the same as a non-blonde black girl (or at worst, someone might decide she's "ratchet" or some shit for wearing colored hair). What difference would it make?

Why shouldn't Walker dye his hair, then?

7. Annabeth has Gray eyes:

Less than 3% of the global population has "gray eyes". Even if they cast a white actor, they would've needed contacts. Her being black is not the reason Annabeth's eyes aren't gray. Simply put, it is a plot element they removed, like the whole "names have power" element, or Ares having flames for eyes, or Dionysus using his powers to grow strawberries at Camp.

That's how adaptations work. Unnecessary plot elements are cut to save time and budget. This has nothing to do with her casting. They probably also didn't want to make child actors wear contacts (not a new practice).

8. Even if Rick chose her, he was wrong/Disney is forcing him to be okay with it:

Where do I start? Rick created the character. He can't be wrong. Do y'all have no self-awareness? Death of the author has no place here, because y'all are hung up on an aspect of the character that is not relevant to her arc or development.

Y'all's justification for wanting a "book accurate" Annabeth is that she was such an inspirational and important character growing up, and yet your behavior is so in conflict with the character you claim means so much to you. You're narrow minded, dismissive of bigotry and injustice, and disrespectful to the wishes of the creator of your favorite character; everything that Annabeth would never be. Y'all were never genuine fans of the books. You're bigots that needed an outlet for your rage.

Keep in mind, Rick has said countless times that PercaBeth directly mirrors his relationship with his wife. Y'all think he would have allowed them to cast someone who doesn't live up to the woman who has been by his side for decades? The mother of his children?

Regarding Disney forcing him, show me one piece of direct evidence that proves Disney in anyway pressured Rick to cast her. Cuz if you can't, that's baseless speculation. And if you have to resort to baseless speculation, maybe try to examine why it's so important to you to hold on to this belief.

9. So, I'm racist because I hate "race swapping"?:

To start, there is a difference between "race swapping" and "color blind casting". Often times, when y'all complain about the former, you're actually mad about the latter.

It would be "race swapping" if Rick and the team decided ahead of time that they wanted a black Annabeth and ONLY allowed black actors to audition. But the actual reality was that they accepted auditions from everyone (there were white actors and non-black poc that also auditioned for the role) and chose the best person who embodied the role. They didn't "make Annabeth black" and they didn't "make Zeus black", they cast black actors for those roles.

Y'all think you're being slick with your wording. Dismissing that is implying that they did not earn their roles fair and square. Which is racist. It's the equivalent of going up to a black college student and telling them they only got in because of affirmative action. You're dismissing the achievements of a person solely because of their racial background.

For all you people complaining about "unfairness" and "forced diversity", I would think hiring based on merit would appeal to you 🤔

71% of theatrical Hollywood leads were white in 2024 in comparison to 29% POC and you still think "black washing" is a thing? You still get this angry over a black person fairly earning a role because you think in a time where Hollywood only knows to do remakes and adaptations, that the majority of lead roles still *have* to be reserved for white actors?

Once again, white people have never been excluded from Hollywood for being white. Representation has never been something you lacked nor is it something you can lose. Your anger comes from seeing a black face where you think they don't belong. Because you feel you are owed a disproportion of representation in Hollywood.

10. Woke agenda/DEI/Forced Diversity:

If you are unironically using any of these terms in a negative light, it's already too late for me to reason with you. Look up the term "dog whistle". If you are sharing the same terminology with Elon Musk and his fanboys, maybe reevaluate some things.

POC are objectively underrepresented and have been historically excluded through actual laws and policies in Hollywood. There is no such thing as "forced diversity", you have bought in to a right wing conspiracy theory.

"Woke" is a term that was intentionally appropriated from the black community. It originally meant being aware of injustice and systematic threats to the community and is now being weaponized by bigots. Good job.

Diversity and inclusion is a good thing.

11. But POC deserve to have their own stories told:

We do. And we have been fighting for it for over a century now, and we've made great strides, no thanks to y'all.

No thanks to y'all gaslighting us about how little representation we get or that representation matters at all. No thanks to y'all pushing the idea that POC can't sell globally and obscuring POC actors in international promos. No thanks to y'all continuing to whitewash even to this day (Bullet train, the beguiled, gods of Egypt, atla, every portrayal of Jesus ever, etc.). No thanks to y'all calling every piece of media that has more than one black lead and more than one queer couple "woke". No thanks to y'all throwing a fit every time a black person in a fantasy setting isn't a slave.

Fact of the matter is, y'all never cared about POC "getting their own stories", you're only parroting our own words back to us now as a politically correct way of saying, "leave white roles alone" lmao

Well fun fact, actors of color getting opportunities to play lead roles and allowing poc to "tell their own stories" are not mutually exclusive. If y'all cared that much, instead of bullying a 12 year old actress, you could actually support up and coming independent POC writers, directors, and studios 😱

12. Studios need to stop "setting up" actors of color:

Do me a favor and google the term DARVO.

Your racism is not the fault of the studios for giving a POC actor a role that they earned. It is not up to the rest of society to tiptoe around racists to avoid their vitriol. It is our responsibility to hold them accountable and protect minorities from unwarranted hate. At most, you can say it's the responsibility of the studios to provide adequate support to POC actors who face this backlash.

At the end of the day, Hollywood only allows very few spots for POC actors (especially WOC), while simultaneously pushing a new white boy every month to put in everything. Putting minorities in these roles that are usually closed to them, usually opens the door to more actors of color than before.

Brandy being cast as Cinderella did a lot to push her into the mainstream (yes, she was already extremely famous in the black community atp), Halle Berry being the first, black, bond girl literally shot her to icon status, and even going as far back to what Anna Mae Wong did for Asian American actresses with her "femme fatale" roles.

At the end of the day, even with the backlash, *some* rep does more good for POC actors than *no* rep. The solution to racist backlash isn't to take away those opportunities, but rather to not be racist??? 🙄

Also, for everyone that claims that "POC race-swapping" is just as bad as "white-washing", despite white washing having a longer history and objectively causing more harm, note how the backlash to white washing never lasts as long as the harassment that POC get.

Like, no one brings up Scarlett Johansson's ghost in the shell role anymore, but you can best believe Candace Patton is still fending off racist trolls. As much as people hated the atla movie, people moved on quick from Nicola Peltz playing Katara since she was just a kid that accepted the role (re: daddy bought her the role), but y'all would not have any of that consideration for Leah Sava Jeffries.

But I digress...

13. What if we made Tiana white? Wakanda white? Hazel white...:

Ah, my favorite inane point. I was so excited to get here :)

See, I could start out by pointing out how "White washing" and casting a POC actor as a traditionally white character are not equivalent.

I could point out the history of hollywood ACTIVELY excluding POC actors and POC stories. I could point out how grossly over represented white people are in hollywood. I could point out that POC characters are so few in comparison that whitewashing them causes actual harm, where white people have never lacked rep.

I could point out how, because poc characters and stories are so often tokenized that their racial/cultural background is often directly tied to their character's identity, in opposition to a lot of white characters, since hollywood treats white as the "Default".

See, I could make all those points, but the thing is, the people who make this argument already know all that. They are trying to waste time by drawing me into a pointless circular argument that will sum up to "fair is fair", while ignoring all the context and nuance I previously provided.

So you know what? Forget it. Let me play your game.

I am actually fine with a white Tiana. Would it make sense, for her and her family to experience Jim Crow era racism, in the south while white? No. But we can look past it. Disney was never known for historical accuracy anyway 🤷🏿‍♀️

However, in exchange, the live action frozen will have a black Elsa and Anna, live action Rapunzel will be black, live action Merida will be black, we're re-filming Cinderella and Beauty and the beast to cast a black belle and Cindy, snow white will need to be recast as black, and we also get aurora whenever the live action sleeping beauty is announced. But then y'all can keep Tiana, deal?

You want a white T'Challa? Fine! (I'm partial to Ryan gosling), in the meantime, we'll be recasting Iron man, Captain America (Steve version), Bruce banner, Thor, Loki, hawk eye, black widow, ant man, captain marvel, Bucky, Peter Parker etc. All the avengers and their side characters, then y'all can have Sam Wilson, war machine and the whole of Wakanda (will it make sense that a sole, hidden, African nation is randomly made up of white people? Who cares? We get the avengers!).

You want white Hazel? You got her! I hope you have no problem with us taking Percy, Nico, Will, Poseidon, Jason, calypso, Rachel, Tyson, Silena, the stoll brothers, Sally Jackson, Hades, Hepheastus, ares, etc. But y'all can have Hazel and Beckendorf.

If we're gonna do this, let's commit all the way. Fair is fair, after all.

14. Leah isn't as "pretty" as Book Annabeth/Movie Annabeth:

I wish I could say this wasn't a genuine point I had read, but when all else fails, they will always go for a woman's appearance.

Now first of all, as a rule, I will never hold black women to white beauty standards. Our hair will never be long and silky enough, our nose will never be narrow enough, our skin will never be fair enough and our eyes will never be light enough (Might I recommend Toni Morrison, when you get the chance?). But Leah is unfairly gorgeous idc what any of you say, and you're not gonna have me use my defense of Leah as an opportunity to bash Alexandra either because she is also beautiful. These two queens slayed to the best of their abilities within this toxic ass fandom.

I find it funny, however, that so many of you harped on the "blonde" issue because you thought it was important that Annabeth be seen beyond just her looks, but quickly devolve to bashing an actress's looks when it comes to why she's not right for this role 🤔

I would also like to sincerely apologize that the 13 year old girl they cast in the show, wasn't as sexually attractive to you as the 24 year old woman they cast in the movie and sexualized through like 25% of her screen time (I'm actually not sorry. You're very weird if this is an actual point for you).

15. I don't agree with sending hate to the actor, but she's just not right for the role:

Once again, what are you doing by complaining about her casting on no other basis than her race?

The creator of the character said she embodied the role. She has already been cast, and Disney would be in a legal/production hell to recast her atp. Just because you're not directly leaving comments on her social media doesn't mean you're not part of the hate mob.

No matter how you look at it, your issues with her casting come from a very entitled and narrow-minded place. When you join in on these dialogues you are bolstering a sentiment that pushes more people to harass this teenage girl. When you leave these "harmless" complaints, on show content, fan posts or posts defending her, she's liable to read them because the cast regularly interact with fans online.

What do you have to say that is so important that it trumps protecting a young girl from the long-staying trauma of racism, of being told she doesn't deserve something she worked for because of how she was born?

16. I can't even criticize the show without being called racist:

Get. Over. Yourself.

Y'all are not the victim. Have fans of the show gotten protective of Leah and the young cast? Yes.

With good reason. This fandom is unbearably toxic.

Racism outweighs your need for a "perfect adaptation", sorry.

If you explain yourself properly and keep your critiques fair (like, even I don't think this was a perfect season, and will be sharing my thoughts shortly), no one is gonna call you racist.

You're preempting with that because in all honesty, you're probably planning to use your "critiques" of the show to pivot to one of the many points that I just outlined, and you want to pre-empt the criticism.

If a black Annabeth is the end all be all for you, just don't watch the show, no one's holding a gun to your head. Geez.

17. I'm Black/POC and I don't agree...:

Hey, Candace Owens... No one gives a shit.

First of all, for all the "I'm POC and I don't agree" people, you don't speak for us. Anti-blackness is rampant in just about every culture globally. You being not-white doesn't somehow make you less prone to hating black people.

But for the "I'm black and I don't agree" leftovers (assuming you're not just a 👩🏼‍💻 behind a keyboard). Black people are not a monolith. You're not obligated to think a certain way because you're black.

But consider why you're putting yourself up as a barrier to protect this hate mob. It's one thing to just state why you don't like Leah's casting, but to start off your spiel with "I'm actually black" as a way to weaponize the very identity politics you're critiquing... very strange. Not to mention, what are you defending?

The black community is coming together to defend one of our own, a kid who has been receiving death threats since she was 12, and this is when you feel the need to back the opposition?

I mean whatever... sometimes the house slaves would snitch to the master. There will always be some of y'all in the woodwork. It is what it is.

But when the exact ideology you defend is turned against you, when a Baltimore elected official is being accused of getting his job through "DEI", when conservatives are claiming that they wouldn't "trust a black pilot", don't decide that's where you'll finally draw your line in the sand.

All that being said, This is my Annabeth:

May every tongue that rose against Leah Sava Jeffries Shrivel and die in 2025 🙏🏿 My girl will keep winning ❤️

(video by @/waleahhasmyheart on TikTok)

[heliumshorns]

This???

Oh, it's....

It's just an absolute ramble about how GOOD toji fucks when it's nice and slow.

You know.

The basic.

... mdni obviously??? Uhhh.... spit?? A little bit of that.. TOJI IS A SOFT DOM????? FOR ONCE???? WE LACK SOFT DOM TOJI CONTENT????? this was more lovemaking than sex tb but still works I guess

The hand tugging your hair, making you face him even when you believe you just can't? He'll make you remember you can take him, and very fucking well.

Something he murmurs into your ear while you're getting pounded your soul out of your body. And even though 90% of the time you end up losing any sense of coherency with how good the curve of his cock is massaging your G-spot, the times your ears don't ring out of pleasure? You catch a few words.

"Mhm... look at how pretty you look like that, baby. Yeah? Can you hear me?"

And when your moan comes out something minimally affirmative, he grins. He's cocky because he knows. He knows he's good when it comes to making you feel good. He knows you know. It's hard not to when he proves it to you almost every day.

"Stay here. I'm here. Listen to me.... Yeah, good girl."

Now. Toji is aware it technically isn't possible, but he grits his teeth anyway because damn you might just snap his dick off. He laughs, though. A low rumble that runs all through you. He sees how your skin forms goosebumps. How your nipples harden with that shiver.

"Oh... oh yeah... You can be loud, darling, it's just you and me... Just you and me."

Even though you could barely brethe to moan, really. Probably too gone to even think about how you sound. Choked noises with every breath you take. His eyes bore into your rolled back ones, and he sneaks a hand around your throat. Legs over his shoulders. Folding you into a mating press.

"Eyes on me. I want you to see who's making you feel good, baby. That's right."

He felt your heartbeat. There's no way. He's sinking so far deep, feeling how your cervix is massaging his tip so... good. Jesus, he's going insane here. Your eyes eventually manage to look into his, and the lust swirling in his irises? Yeah... The loud, borderline pornographic moan you let our wasn't a plan. Nor were you aware, really.

His laugh makes you whimper. Feel so small.

"My little pornstar, aren't you, baby? Open your mouth for me, baby. Can you do that?"

Your shaky nod has him grinning as he licks the back of his teeth and roof of his mouth. Gathering saliva.

His hand holds your jaw open as he leans down, not once faltering the slow and deep thrusts. His eyes are on yours as his spit slowly drips down.

"Oh fuck, baby..." He manages to lose his own composure. His head falls foward, hair hiding his eyes when he moans out. Low. Deep. And so fucking good while he stares at your cunt just swallowing him so good.

With a thumb swiping to your clit, he hears your yelp. Sees your legs twitch. Yeah. He wasn't gonna last longer.

"Honey, do me a favour. Come for me, yeah? Let's count down. Let's come together."

... Okay. Not easy thing to do, but worth a try.

He uses one hand to fix his slightly overgrown hair, looking into your eyes. With that same hand, he holds your face. He could tell you were so fucking close it hurt. From the curled lip to the furrowed brow. The almost pained look in your eyes.

His thumb presses down. He feels as the nub naturally twitches.

"Three..." He murmurs, hips not faltering their face as he pushes your clit around, making sure to angle his hips just right.

"Shit- so fucking tight, ma-" He moans with a smile.

"Two..." Your eyes glaze over, and your mouth starts to tip open. You can barely fucking breathe now.

"One, baby. Come with me, please."

And God, do you come. Absolutely fucking groundbreaking. Mind on the clouds as his hips snap, and snap, bringing himself to orgasm as you milk him dry. He feels your nails dig into his shoulders? Yeah. Does he care?.... not really.

This is probably the longest orgasm you've had in a while. Shit had you trembling with the aftershocks with God knows how long, but once you're back here, on earth? Yeah.... You're instantly squirming away. Pushing at his chest.

And he complies.

He already had you out of your mind pre-orgasm. He didn't want to ruin you that bad.

Flopping down beside you, chest heaving as he stares at the ceiling.

After a minute or two of silence and heavy breathing, you finally speak:

"Told you it was worth it to take it slow."

He only laughs and nuzzles his face in your neck.