#it shows so much more clearly what happened and why

[kenwio]

Joker's kid! reader and how they life in manor started

Author's note 1: This part is huge, and it was a huge struggle for me to write (and rewrite), so I apologize if it feels crumpled T^T and there will be other author's notes

Warnings: long read, grammar mistakes (English is not my first language), mental issues, abuse

Bruce knew that eventually you will leave the madbay, you were there long enough to heal, but he had no idea how to bring you to the manor and he can't predict your reaction, seeing your reaction of everything in medbay, your confusion and fear that you showed looking at the simplest things. But other things concerned him even more.

Firstly, he knew that taking you to manor would include revealing of his identity to you, and identities of rest of the family. Secondly, the family.... he was worried about how they would react on you being there. So far, non of the kids interacted with you, and only Dick visited you while you were in the medbay, but he never saw you awake, thanks for the side effects of medicine that made you incredibly sleepy. And thirdly, you were a child of a villain, who knows what you are capable of? So what if you seemed harmless in the madbay? Plus, Bruce knew Tim and Jay expected only bad for you and Damians opinion of you was as bad if not worse somehow. Bruce knows it's going to be tough and he is not sure he can deal with it

Today was the day he would let you see his face and lead you up to the mansion. So, why did the world greatest detective was feeling icky? Was he afraid of you? No, you are just a kid, yes Joker's kid, but still a kid. Was he afraid your potential reaction? Not really, but he was troubled that he could predict it.

Maybe you didn't really show emotions, which was concerning, but also was made him feel more at ease, since you didn't show any signs of acting like your father.

You were sitting at your bed in medaby staring at your blurred reflection in the mirror. You couldn't clearly see yourself, but you were sure you looked a bit different and the clothes you were wearing now, simple t-shirt and pants, were much more comy and much more suited for a child, unlike that horrible suit.

- Hey, little one, how are you feeling? - he asked with strained gentleness

- I'm okay - you answered simply

- Since you are mostly recovered you will have to leave the medbay - he started saying. You were expecting something like that to happend, because why would he let you stick around? He alredy done much for you. As you were staying in the medbay you remember that Batman had a rule - a rule of not killing. Maybe that's why he helped you and healed you up, he probably just didn't want to let you die. You knew your father wouldn't really care of something happened to you, and he wouldn't even avange you, because why would he? You are just a pawn and he has bigger cards to cards to care about.

- So you will bring me back? -you asked, simply, which shoked Batman. You just now simply and dully asked him if he will bring you back to the crime alley ? How? Why? He felt his heart stinging at your emotionless reaction.

- No, I want to give you your new home

- New home? - you asked, confused. What did he meant by that?

- Yes. You will live with me, Alfred, and my sons. - he said calmly, looking at you, studying your reaction, he moved his hands closer to his mask. - that means you will know who I'm, and who are my allies are, which brings me to the point, before we could go to your new home, you must learn few rules, you understand right? - you only nodded in response. You were really confused. Why he wants you to live with you? Why is he okay with it? What was his reasoning?

The rules included: do not reveal our dentities to anyone, no wepons, no sharp object, no violence, no disobedience, mandatory emotional check-ins, mandatory seek of help when you need it, respect of boundaries and few other. You listened carefully when he explained every rule, trying to remember every detail, but you couldn't really understand that all. And you didn't really understood what will happened if you break the rule, but you didn't wanted to take chances.

After he explained the rules and you nodded to confirm you got the idea, he finally took his mask, and his face seemed to be familiar, and after few sections of thinking you said

- Oh, you are a man from newspapers - you remember seeing his face on some of the newspapers you used as blankets back in the crime alley.

- So I guess you know me? And you know my name - he asked, a bit confused by your reaction and use of wording

- uh.. I saw you, I don't really who you are - and it was true, you may saw him on newspapers, but you didn't really read them, there was too much words you didn't understand

- My name is Bruce Wayne, you can just call me Bruce. And since I introduced myself, it's time for you to introduce yourself too - he gave you a slight, gentle smile, encouraging you to speak up

- my name is (your name)

- Follow me, (your name)

So now you were following Bat...uh Bruce into various corridors of ... giant house? Castle? You didn't really know, but it was. You looked around, trying to take in at least some of the surroundings, but it was too much for you to remember. All you could say, the place was really luxurious... really like a castle, like one you saw in story book you manage to found one day.

Finally you arrived at the corridors there you assumed lived residents of the place. If you understood correctly while listening to Bruce, here manor two of his sons lived permanent: Tim and Damian, and two others, Richard and Jason, occasionally payed a visit. As you looked around corridor, you suddenly heard unfamiliar voice

- Father, you really decided to let them live here? - that voice sounded annoyed and angry

- Damian, we've talked about it - answered Bruce. You looked to father and son, who started conversation, taking in the appearance of short boy with spiky hair, and bright green eyes. So this is Damian.... as you looked at him, you noticed that his angry gaze never leaving you. His cold anger mixed with with annoyance made you visibly flinched.

- and I still stand my words, they are dangerous - young boy said, walking past his father, stopping in front of you - I was raised by assassins, don't think I won't see through your games - he said closing walking in his room and closing his door. You looked at him go, you expected this kind of greeting.

- Damian can be a little hostile at first- Bruce tried to soften up the atmosphere Damian created

- oh, it's fine, I understand -you answered calmly.

- so, most of those rooms are free so, feel free to chose one.

You walked through the corridor, checking if the room was taken or not, and you stopped at the far away room in the end for the corridor. Knowing that you would probably annoy others with your existence in the manor, you decided to choose exactly this room. You understood that your life here depended on how Batman, or how he told to call him Bruce, and his sons, and if you wanted to live peacefully you needed to try hard and not make him angry.

Bruce wanted to encourage you to take a room closer to others, but decided not to, so he would not discourage you

As you and and him walked in, you couldnt stop looking around. You would be living here now, and it felt like a dream.

- if you need anything call Alfred, and if you need me, just say so to him. - said Bruce as he left you to settle down. You looked around, taking in a surroundings by a bit empty previous guest room that just became yours. You sat down on the bed, feeling it's softness. You were still a confused, you felt fear as always, but also there was something else in the mix of your feelings, something much more lighter.

--------------------- ♤ ♡ ◇ ♧ -----------------------

In the morning you was woken up by the rays of sun. You didn't figured out how to close the curtains. Previously you didn't feel like going to dinner, so Alfred brought you sandwiches in your room so you at least could have a bite.

You looked out if the window, seeing beautiful geen garden. The sight was new to you, who grew up in the surroundings of dirty bricks and broken concrete. You watched sky, which looked more clear than in crime alley, clouds, birds, trees. It felt surreal, and it made this light feeling in your chest become stronger.

Alfred knocked soon after, he reminded you to wash your face and brush your teeth (something old butler had to explain you how to do) and said that he would lead you to the dining room.

Damian was already there, he tensed up once he saw you. You sat far away from him, sinking in your chair under his gaze.

Soon after you heard yawning coming form the way you've just walked in.

-Morning, Dams, morning Alfred - you heard the sleepy voice say - B left already?

- yes, master Tim - said the old butler putting coffee on place on the table near Damian's one.

- Drake - Damian said through teeth

- oh, look someon in a bad mood since morning, how - the boy sat down, suddenly stopping when he noticed you. He looked at you, not a word leaving him as he quietly staredat you for a few seconds with unreadable expression. Not knowing you decided at least to try to make the situation more strange

- hello? - you mumbled. And he just nodded. His gaze lingered a bit longer on your hair, before he looked away, looking visible uncomfortable. Alfred served the food soon after. It was one of the most tasty things you've ever ate, even if you could feel tension in the air that could be cut with the knife.

After Alfred was lead you back to your room and Bruce made a quick check up on you few hours latter you were left alone. You didn't really had anything to do: the books that were in the room were a bit difficult for you, and you didn't really had an idea what to do with crayons, because all the paintings that came in your mind were ones that were present on your father's "show scene". As you were loking at the window, you heard a sudden knock on your room's door. You turned around, awaiting too see an old butler, but was greeted with the sight of tall young man with wavy black hair, blue eyes, and slightly akward but nonetheless friendly simile.

- Hey, little one - he greeted - what are you up to.

- Hello - you mumbled rather shyly, looking at the window, when back at him.

- Oh, good-old window watching huh - you nodded, soon after adding

- You are?

- Right, I'm Dick, and what's your name?

- (your name)

- Nice to meat you. So, how are you here so far - he tried to striked up the conversation, before you heard familiar annoyed voice of Damian

- Grayson, I require your presence, now!

- Dami, just a minute - he answered

- now! - Damian repeated

Richard gave you an apologetic look - sorry, gotta go, but I would like to hang around you next time, if you Don't mind.

-I do not mind - you mumbled as you watched him left. The way he talked to you was unusual for you. It reminded the way how Bruce or Alfred talked with you, but it was warmer. It made that light feeling in your chest stronger for a bit, until it was taken away. It was strange to be talked with like that, but it was nice. Suddenly, you couldn't help but wish but to be talked with like that more.

--------------------- ♤ ♡ ◇ ♧ -----------------------

As day went by, you started slowly getting used to the life in here and rutine. You mostly spend your time around Alfred, following him as if you were a little ducking. He helped you around, explained how to do one or other things, helped you to find books you could read through, also old butler introduced to tw, but you quickly found out that cartoons were a bit much to you, so insted you settled on nature documentaries.

So here you were in the living room watching about life of animals in tropical jungle, when you heard heavy footsteps behind door, after that you hears how doors were heavily pushed open, you turned around, and saw tall and built tall and muscular guy, with short black hair with few white strands on them and book in his hands. Judging by his looks and what Alfeed told you so far you guessed it was Jason. Though, he seemed somehow familiar to you, yet you couldn't understand why...

- hello - you mumbled, looking at him.

He instantly frowned, you could see the same expression of anger on his face, the one you noticed on Damian constantly.

- what, old man really had his sanity kicked out? - he grumbled.

You were unsure of how to react, what to do. On one hand you could clearly see that Jason was mad at you the same way Damin were, so the plan was ether to hide in your room, or to stay quiet. On the other hand, even if you really didn't understand how to interact with others, in a short time you've been in the manor Alfred told you some basics of social interactions and politeness, one of which was to iniciate conversions, which made you want to give it a go.

- I just found out that some animals pretend to be dead so they wouldn't become a prey - you mumbled quietly, you really just learned that fact so you decided to share it. But it.your words seemed to make Jason even more mad.

- tsk, I see you, little psycho, are not so different from your crazy Dad - he spat out angrily, leaving you feeling down. You weren't like your dad, were you?

- I uh - you struggled to say, but you couldn't form your thought. What to answer to that? You weren't sure.

- don't even try, I don't like clowns -he spat out. Before you could say anything or he could continue saying things that left you sad, Alfred walked in.

- Master Jason, master Bruce awaits you in a batcave

- thanks - he said as he walked out, leaning you alone with your confusion and sadness, or so it was until you heard Alfred's cautious voice

- Master (your name)? Are you feeling alright? You seem to be a in your thoughts.

- I'm okay - you answered immediately, not wanting to worry old butler

- I see. - he answered, a bit thoughtfully, before speaking again - would you like to have some tea with cookies? - you nodded eagerly, remembering their sweet taste -when follow me to the kitchen

While you were enjoying tea with cookies, and looking how Alfred was busy preparing lunch, cutting greens with cooking scissors and chopping vegetables. He done this all fast and gracefully, leaving you amazed by his skills. In the middle of him cutting yet another green leaf, Alfeed was asked to go down to the cave by Jason, who walked away immediately after. Old butler put scissors near the edge of counter, and asked you if you knew how to get back to your room, before leaving. You just finished eating last cookie, when you heard metallic ring of fallen scissors. You walked to pick them up, but seeing your blurred reflection in them gave you an idea difference of original idea. Now you were on the way in your room.

Honestly speaking, you understood why your father was hated in this house, and you could understand why they hated you too, Joker is your dad after all, but you didn't like him to. In fact, he only brought you suffering. And you knew there wasn't a way to undone it,

But there is one thing you could do.

You walked in your room, I'm your bathroom, and in mirror you saw that one thing that reminded you of your father's the most. Your damaged green hair. Although while you were staying here, your hair grew longer and you could see your original color of hair, but green was still there and you hated longer green parts of your hair, his parts of your hair. Damian, Jason and Tim probably hated them too.

Chop.

You started cutting the green parts, leaving only strands of YOUR hair. It took awhile, it was hard. But few minutes after you were without them, and with fluffy uneven mess of a haircut on your head.

Putting all your green hair in a trash, you hurried back to kitchen. To your surprise, Alfred wasn't there yet. You put scissors in the sink, and returned to your tea, happy thay now you didn't had reminder of your dad on your head.

------------------- ♤ ♡ ◇ ♧ -----------------------

After your sudden haircut, scolding, and another, but more professional haircut latter, Alfred decided to keep an eye on you. He had to admit that your desire to show difference form your dad finally made him warm up to you. But he was even more surprised when you said that you wanted to help him with tasks around the house and managing requests of boys and Bruce. Bruce found it a welcome change, but not all boys agreed with him

Which leads you to the present moment, you were cautiously carrying tray with coffee and snacks for Tim, since he skipped lunch yet again making Alfred worried yet again, when you were walking past Damian.To avoid him, you took a little to the other side, almost kicking off some sort of sculpture, which he caught, stopping in front of you, glaring at you

- Tt... use your eyes when you are going anywhere, pay attention - he grunted.

- I'm sorry - you said calmly, - cool move by the way - you said in attempt to soften the move

- I wasn't asking for your opinion. - he said, glaring at you one more time and saying - One false move and you'll find yourself dismantled faster than these figurines could hit the ground. Touch anything else in Father's collection, and you'll be practice dummy for my katana.

You tried not to flinch at Damian words, but did so anyways. It took you few minutes to calm down and continue your way towards Tim's room. You prepared to knock, but door was slightly agape.

- Tim? - you called, imitating Alfreds tone of voice. You saw how his hand gestured you to come in, so you did. You placed tray with coffee and snacks on his table. He glanced at you only for a second, before his eyes returned to the screen of his laptop, in that moment some sort of text appeared there, making him jolt, put laptop down and run away. You just stood there, not knowing what to do, you looked between door from which he left, and screen of his computer device, when another text appeared on it, and this time you could read it - "low battery. connect the charger"

Thanks to Alfred, you already knew what charger is, you just have to find it! You looked around, seeing too many wires around the room. You looked at the laptop, and saw too many ports. As you were unsuccessfully trying to find the right wire and right port, laptop's screen went dark. In that moment Tim walked in.

- What did you do?! - he asked almost yelling. Immediately going to the laptop

Nothing! - you panicked, and stepped away. He raised a hand and wave it. Not noticing yor flinch.

- just go, go away! You are messing all up!

If you thought you were shaky after encounter with Damian, this one definitely did.

Judging by Tim's reaction, you broke his computer. You didn't mean to, and you didn't knew if anyone will believe you that you didn't mean to do so. Maybe you'll need to apologize later, but right now, all you wanted is to talk with Alfred or to use up Bruces offer and talk with him if you needed it. In the state of panick you must have took the wrong turn, and bot seeing clearly before yourself, you bumped into Jason, after what you was pushed back and fell down in the process.

- you, little psycho! Don't you dare to touch me! - he yelled, making you flinch. For a second you felt like you was back with your father, pushed around, beaten and yelled at. As you were processing what happened, you didn't hear soft footsteps,

Jay, it was an accident. They just didn't not you - said Richard, trying to calm Jason down -yes, little one? - he said turning to you, but you were already running back to your room.

You cruled up in your blanket, hiding from the world and trying to calm down. You felt like crying. You probably did cry. It was all your fault. You almost broke figurine from Bruces collection, you probably broke Tim's computer, and you made Jason angry, so , Dick too was probably angry at you. Why had you just break thing, make everything worse. Maybe you should talk to Bruce.

--------------------- ♤ ♡ ◇ ♧ ---------------------

You didn't even notice how you feel asleep for a short time, but when you woke up, you decided to see Bruce, if anyone, he should know how to get allong with boys. And that's what you really wanted, to get along with them, just to feel safe.

The problem however was to find Bruce. You remember Bruce showing you where his cabinet and room was, however, you don't remember where exactly they are. You managed to find Alfred, who gave you a concerned look, but explained you where he was. He also said that all of them were having a movie night - Richard decided that everyone needed at least one bounding day a month, where all of them would gather and do something together. That got you a bit worried, because what if you ruin their movie night just like how you ruined everything today. But maybe you could apologize in front of everyone for being inconvenience and making them angry? You'll have to brace yourself . While thinking about it, you walked through various corridors, until you reached movie room.

There they were: While movie were playing on a big screen they sat on cozy sofa and armchairs. Bruce sat in the armchair, occasionally looking on the boys. You could see smile on his face. Dick sat in the middle of the sofa, watching with enthusiasm and actively commenting on the plot, eating popcorn. On one side if him, putting his head on Dick's shoulder, sat Tim, who was lazily laying on sofa. He sometimes corrected Dick or commented on CGI, whatever it is. On the other side of the Dick sat Damian, who tried to make an impression that he didn't like being here, yet even you could see through his act, and who tried to keep Tim's and Jason's hands away from popcorn. And near Tim, in the corner of sofa sat Jason, who teased Damian and Tim most of the time, argued with Dick on which character is better and successfully stole Dick's popcorn.

You've never seen a sight, that was as warm as this. It felt so warm, so cozy, so homy

It felt like family.

And here you were: in the shadow, not daring to make a step, to come in to join them, to afraid to ruin this perfect moment

You've never had a family in that sense of word, and what you had as a family, you wouldn't dare to call as such. In your family was no warmth, no care. There weren't a moment like this. But you needed them.

After you were taken in my Bruce you found out what care was, but even so it felt like it still was too far away from you, so far that you couldn't reach it. Maybe you didn't deserve it, but you wanted care you wanted love. You wished you could be a part of family you see right now. You want to come in. But you know you can't, you know you will ruin the moment if you will walk in now. You know that Damian will add another threat to a previous one, Jason will yell, Tim will shoosh away, and probably Dick and Bruce will silently agree with them and will say to you to come another time.

Your father is Joker, that's instantly makes you undeserving of care and attention. Well, whay to say if your own mother left you. And as for the batfamily, it's only natural to hate a child of their main enemy.

But what if you can prove you are not like your father? What if love and care are earned, and that's exactly why you didn't get them. When you will have to try and earn it. But for now, all you could do now, is to hide behind the door in another room, listen intently on every sound they make, cry silently, afraid of making any noise so you couldn't ruin the moment and wish you could be with them. Wish you was loved at least once in your life. Wish you were a part of their family.

--------------------- ♤ ♡ ◇ ♧ ----------------------

Thank you for reading and feel free to share your opinion 💖 have a good day

Author's note 2: I really badly wanna draw Joker's kid. I'd you are interested in my artworks , please let me know

Author's note 3: (1) In one of anonymous asks (here) one user had similar idea of what I had in mind. I hope I've done it good > - < (2) And I wanted to fit this idea from another ask (here) in the plot to, but I couldn't done it fully, I'm sorry T^T

Author's note 4 : to be honest, I have no idea what is tag list and how it works (I'm really sorry, but I'm not active social-media user), but few amazing people asked to tag them, and i hope I'm doing it right: @socially-embarrassing , @leovergurl , @deathbynarcisstick , @cryptic-arr0w , @lynns-cornerr

[jaggedamethyst]

easy (part 2) (bucky barnes x gn!reader)

content: secret relationship/established relationship, miscommunication/misunderstanding, angst, self-doubt, mentions of death, cheating (kind of), not proofread

notes: part two this this...good luck lmao (a short one but it’s the right length i fear)

main masterlist

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　

You’d been woken up by the sounds of knocks on your door. They started off normal and quickly became more frantic…aggressive, even. 

The sound of your name made you sit up on the floor. Suddenly, the door pushed open—revealing Bucky there. His hair was disheveled, clearly having run his hands through it. He hadn’t bothered with saying hi, kneeling in front of you and looking you over.

He cupped your face, “Are you okay?” He pressed into you more, nudging you to sit up. “What are you doing down here?”

You reached out to him, making sure you hadn’t tricked yourself, that he was really here. 

He continued, “What happened? Sharon said you disappeared and she couldn’t find you.” 

Somehow Bucky was missing the point. You could only blink at that, knowing that his energy was so misplaced. Why would he care about you right now when this entire relationship had so quickly gone awry? Why would he focus on you being on the floor when he ruined this—him. 

Bucky spoke again, rubbing his hands up and down your arms. “I called you a shit ton, where’s your phone?” 

“Don’t know.” 

He paused, confused at your first and only words to him being so carelessly spoken. “Steve said he saw you—that you just…ran.“ 

You nodded. You had ran. Swift motions out of the building and to your place weren’t enough to erase the imagery in your brain. The way Bucky had seemed so carefree—so happy. With someone who wasn’t you, most importantly. A woman who looked so remarkably different than you. 

Your skin and body physically repelled him—pushing him away without a thought. Moving to stand, you watched his face twist in hurt. 

“How was recon?” 

“It was fine…am I missing something?” 

You ignored the question, asking your own. “You said Steve told you he saw me?” He nodded. “Did he know who I was?”

“Course he knew who you were—he’s my best friend.” 

You bought your in front of you, wringing them together. “Does she?” The question was meant to quell your anxiety, but instead made the prospect of him cheating infinitely harder to swallow. You looked at him expectantly, an answer seeming to escape him—despite you both knowing what happened that evening. 

“Does who?” 

“Natasha…Romanoff…the one you went on recon with.” You moved your head as you slowly spoke the words—breaking it down for him. “Does she know about me? About us?” 

“You know that we keep this a secret for your safety. We’ve talked about this a thousand times-“ 

“No, you keep it a secret and you've talked about it.” You moved to sit on the couch, “I agreed because I love you and I understand the stress of your job. But what I saw today,” you shook your head and looked up at him across the room. “That wasn’t a secret for my benefit. It was for yours.” 

“That’s just not true.” Bucky moved from his spot, finally, stepping across the room to sit beside you. “You have to understand my perspective on this. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I was the cause of anything happening to you.”

You twisted your entire face, staring up with an incredulous look. “Did you stop to consider how much worse it would be to have to live with the knowledge of you doing god knows what every time you’re not here?” You paused, feeling his hands attempt to wrap around you. Moving back instantly, you continued, “What happened with her? What haven’t I seen?” 

“Nothing.” Bucky waved his hands in front of him, emphasizing his words. “Nothing happened-“ 

“I saw you. Sharon showed me the feed, Bucky.” 

His face glazed over in realization—not that you had seen him with her, but that you had seen him with her. Bucky’s head started to move on its own, searching for how to make sense of this for you. “That wasn’t what it looked like.” 

A huff escaped you. Without a second thought you got up and moved toward the door, Bucky right on your trail. “If we’re gonna act like this you can just go.” You put a hand on the door handle, raising a brow at him. “You of all people know I won’t sit here and look stupid. Not when I’ve already wasted so much time waiting for you.” 

A moment passed, the reality of what you were saying lingering in the room. The two of you had talked about it before, how you’d waited so long for someone like him to appear. There’d been years of self discovery and “loving yourself first” before Bucky showed you that someone else could. When that happened, you settled for the relationship existing in its very specific confines—under the lock and key of his life’s restrictions. Even then, he’d get a call; people needed him. Bucky would go away for however long, and you’d wait. The amount of time spent yearning for the world to suddenly be quicker for you, for him, was immense. In every instance it seemed that despite the relatively common cosmic occurrences he’d faced, none of Bucky’s opponents could grant your wish—to get the man you loved back to you sooner. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally spoke. You watched his hands ball into a fist, angered with himself. The mechanical whir of his arm filling the empty space. “I don’t feel that way about her.” 

You scoffed at that. He sounded so textbook it was physically making you ill. 

He continued, though, “She’s been my friend for a long time. We spend a lot of time together…and I wanted to tell her about you.” He inhaled, “But I didn’t. I don’t know why.” 

“Did you sleep with her?” 

“Of course not…and she kissed me. I regret making her feel like there was even a slight chance of me seeing her that way—because I don’t. I can’t.” His voice wavered, “Can’t because I only love you.”

He reached a hand out to you and it caused you to move away from him—impossibly closer to the door. 

“Bucky…I don’t think I can do this.” 

“Doll, please-“

You waved a hand, interrupting him, “Wait—just…listen.” You let go of the door, fully looking at him now. “I don’t think I can be with you if it’s like this.” He let you continue, “I know you want to protect me, but all of this has hurt me more than it could’ve ever helped. I feel so removed from you—like I don’t know you outside of our apartment walls.” Sweat had accumulated on your palms, making you realize how anxiety-inducing this had been. “I haven’t felt confident in myself around you in…a while-“

“But-“ 

“Bucky, please.” He nodded, stilling himself in commitment to let you speak. “That’s not your fault…but I think I need space to figure out why that is.” 

Bucky whispered your name, a shakiness on his voice. “I just…can’t stomach the idea of you dead…dying...because of me.” 

“I would’ve.” You moved to open the door. “I think I would’ve been fine facing death as long as everyone knew I loved you first.” You stepped back from the threshold and offered him the space to step out. “But they don’t. Nobody knows except us. That hurts.” 

Bucky didn’t speak as he stepped toward the hall. His entire figure seemed to hang lower than normal, and it pained you to see. You felt the heat of tears in your eyes, but you wouldn’t cry. There was a sort of satisfaction in facing this—breaking up with Bucky. It was always going to happen, you reasoned, so bearing your soul…crying…would’ve been too easy.  

tags (tried to get everyone who asked lol)

@julvrs @shanksstrawhat @vicmc624 @preeyas-world @ilovemcuff @winchestert101 @caity1995 @hereforfun-31 @cjand10 @nadinekr @wintercrows @read-just-cant @behindmygreyeyes @ordelixx @pklol @bookworm3570 @largarei @fairlyfatale @kittenkiryu

[a34trgv2]

Writing Tips: How To Build Your World

When it comes to storytelling, the setting is a major component in keeping the audience engaged. It's where the main events of the story take place, where the rules and beliefs are established, and most importantly, where the characters call home. But how to you introduce the audience to this world without making it feel like a tedious lecture? Well, that's what we'll discuss in this post and by the end, I'm confident you'll have a greater appreciation for world building.

A prologue is a very genius way to not only hook the audience but also establish the main themes of the world at the start. Some of the best prologues in fiction are brief, well paced, and engaging enough to make it feel like a necessary and rewatchable part of the story. Take the opening to Iron Man (2008) as an example. Right before the title drops, we're introduced to Tony Stark, where he is, what the big threat it, and why we should care. It was a very clever visual to show that the terrorists that attacked Tony were using weapons made by his company before he got shrapnel lodged into his chest. This makes the conflict in the film more personal to Tony and gets the audience curious like him as to how they got ahold of his weapons and why they kidnapped him. Starting the story with an entertaining prologue is a great way to world build, but as the story continues so too does the world building.

Another great way to world build without stopping the story to a crawl is to incorporate natural dialogue. By that, I mean having the characters converse in the story like they would if this was happening in the real world. Nobody's going to give some info dump on what they can do in real life because that's such a waste of time. Rather, they'd cut to the chase by showing what they can do with a sentence being optional. That's how Knuckles facing off against Sonic in Sonic The Hedgehog 2 went. Natural dialogue is a great way to make the fantastical seem believable. Just look at series like Harry Potter, Kung Fu Panda, Avatar: The Last Airbender, or Steven Universe. They all take place in such fantastical worlds but the characters talk like normal people instead of caricatures to make it all seem believable. They also make the worlds so much fun to explore, which brings me to my next point.

Making the world feel big and lived in is key to getting audiences to want to go on the journey with the characters. By establishing how vast the land is, what kind of people live in it, and what the rules are, you're inviting the audience on a tour of this world you made up and giving them an experience they can't get anywhere else. This is very much the case with Middle Earth from The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. In both the books and the movies, Middle Earth is shown to be their huge land full of vast landscapes, lived in communities, rich history, and gorgeous architecture. This is shown by the characters being taken on a journey through this world and discovering the wonders with the audience. Of course, not every story takes place in a world that's made up by the author. Often times, it takes place in a real city or country; or to burrow a quote from Stan Lee, "a reflection of the world right outside our window." There are many stories that take place (or inspired by) New York City, which each story offering it's own unique perspective on the Big Apple. Marvel's Daredevil depicts Hell's Kitchen as a grimy, crime ridden neighborhood while King Kong (1933) depicts it as this idealistic city that never sleeps. Element City from Elemental is clearly inspired by New York City with it's mix of different cultures coming together to form one big city and Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Time makes NYC in the roaring 20s look like this magical metropolis full of wonderous creatures. With so many different ways to depict New York City, it's not wonder it's such a popular urban settlement for tourists.

World building is such a fascinating part of storytelling that many take for granted. For aspiring writers, it's important to make sure you're doing it well enough and subtle enough so that it's not overbearing to the audience. Proper world building involves getting the audience hooked from the get go, having natural dialogue, and making the world feel lived in and rich in history. Even if it takes place in a real city or country, the world should still be a place you want to explore with the characters. To conclude, I hope you learned how intriguing world building is and how to make you setting come alive.

[alkhemeya]

So, guess who forgot to post whenever I finished an episode and accidentally sped through Season 1? Me. I did. I'm guilty.

And what the fuck is happening??

Statement Begins.

The Magnus Archives, Season 1 — Thoughts.

1. So, madame Jane prentiss was a jumpscare. Now I am terrified of bugs even more. (That fucking ep of hers scares me. WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT SINGS TO YOU—)

2. Tim seems pretty cool. I am sure he isn't human still. Maybe he was raised as a human and doesn't know? Not sure. Found it funny he got high as shit though.

3. Sacha is... fine? She probably got attacked, but she had gotten out okay. I think. Her voice is different, but I'm pretty sure they changed voice actors, so I'm not worried. They've done that in some shows, so it's nothing.

4. Martin, my boy. I love him. Got traumatised by worms, clearly has a thing for Sims (I'm not being delusional, shut up) and is secretly badass. Fight me on this. Got traumatised by Prentiss and I can't fucking blame him bringing her worms to work so Sims would listen.

4.4. Also, what do you MEAN HE FOUJD GERTRUDES BODY??? WHAT. (Elias did this. I know this. He's the evil boss archetype.)

5. Sims, you wet cat of a man. Still my no.1 fave. His fear is so relatable. I can count how many times I've been scared but pretended to be skeptical (I've went ghost hunting a few times and it was so fucking scary.) He's such a dumbass too. Though Martin was a ghost. He's so stupid (affectionate.)

6. The newest spooks, who will be added to the list eventually.

6.1. Okay, dark cult is dark cult. Clearly feeding stuff to whatever abomination they worship.

6.2. There are uncanny Valley fucks roaming around who may be killer clowns. Why are there doll clown things? I hate clowns. Also clearly pod people? I love the anatomy class, they're clearly aliens/pod people.

6.3. There may be multiple entitues, as I call them. Around, uh, 8? One to do with bodysnatching/uncanny Valley, the dark/death, bugs and rot, watching/hunting, destruction, meat?, insanity, and caves/claustrophobia. I think. I may not be right. I have names for them already, like they're eldritch gods. Am I pulling stuff out of my ass? Maybe, but it makes sense TO ME.

7. Also, werewolves and Ghosts very much exist. And skinwalkers. Like, all the spooky shit. I am in heaven.

Might do a thing where I do either half a season each, since it'll be easier, and I won't, you know, forget about this. Like I usually do.

Anyways, I love how it's all coming! I can't wait to get into season 2 by next Monday. Gotta give myself a break!

[taeaura]

More TCM 2003/2006 Analysis because why not

TW: Yapping; Rape/Sa, Groping, Strong language, Gore, TCM-Canon-typical Violence

So I recently found deleted / extended scenes {Part 1 / Part 2 of 2006, 2003} which gave me more inspiration to write again! Analysis time 😈

_____

I first want to talk about the most forgotten member of the Hewitt family: Jedidiah. Poor sweet little Jedidiah, probably the most underrated and least-considered member of the Hewitt ‘clan’. From the clips shown in the video and the movie itself, we can infer that Jedidiah is left alone quite often. He’s also very aware of what goes on both in and outside the walls. Either the family doesn’t try to hide it from him or they’re doing a shit job at it. Even then, it’s kinda hard to hide things from independent children anyway. Jedidiah’s a very empathetic and artistic child who understands the Hewitt family values. I.E; the scene where he helps Erin and Morgan escape. Especially when he goes:

“Don’t hurt her! Please, Grandma!” - 2003, 1:06:48 

He looks so defeated after..poor baby. 

At around 1:12:40 when he’s urgently trying to get Erin and Morgan out of the basement via the tornado shelter exit {I think that’s what the structure is?}

“Go - Go now! Run! Faster, hurry! - Come on, don’t let him get you!”

“Go! I’ll be fine!” - 2003, 1:12:45 - 1:14:05 

And when he tries to bite Thomas’ hand to hold him back?? Poor baby. I’d also like to acknowledge how Thomas didn’t get physical with him , simply just shoved him off his hand and onto the sandbag. In the deleted scenes for 2003, he seems much happier when he gets to show Pepper his drawings; It seems he really needs attention that he isn’t getting at home. Maybe this is similar to how Thomas was raised, though I'm not sure. This is even more apparent when he says “You sure you’re not just saying that?” after Pepper compliments his drawing. He very clearly needs a form of guidance and support; Not only for his development but for his confidence. As I discussed in a previous post, Thomas also really enjoys praise, which he gets mainly from Hoyt. Speaking of Hoyt, there’s two possibilities {that I’ve come up with} for how Jedidiah came to be. 1.) Jedidiah is the product of rape, most likely the child of Hoyt and a victim. 2.) They ‘adopted’ him from a victim or some similar situation. Not much evidence as to his origins, but we can theorize. 

____

Moving on to Hoyt; the ‘head’ of the family. In the extended scenes for The Beginning 2006, we get to see an even more aggressive and short-fused side of Hoyt. He yells more often, he’s more violent, and he’s definitely more ‘hands-on’....yay for us. At around 3:20 in this video, as he’s going to ‘attend’ to Bailey’s injuries, he discreetly gropes her, specifically groping her breast whilst repeating ‘I ain’t gonna hurt you.” Yeah, okay, pal.  And then he LICKS THE GLASS HE JUST PULLED OUT OF HER?? He also really doesn’t like the victims; Like. At all. He’s definitely lustful over Bailey, but he doesn’t like how ‘smart’ she gets at times. I.E; “Is having a dead biker chick ride shotgun proper police procedure, sir?” Now, in this video we get to see the more hostile version of Hoyt. Imagine his regular persona x2. At around 0:45 he pulls Dean’s head up by his hair and starts yelling is his face;

“You fucking idiot! I just told you we had to eat! Ain’t you listening to me?” 

This tells us two things: One, Hoyt really doesn’t like when his authority is challenged via questions, lack of interest, or defiance. Two, he really doesn’t like talking about his time in the war. It’s a traumatic near-death experience which is definitely a soft spot for him. I doubt having to dwell on it, much less repeat it over and over again to someone he already hates is easy. Following that tangent, he quickly switches to his condescending ‘I’m just trying to help’ bullshit. Specifically at 1:09;

“Now what happens if you kids drive all the way up to Austin just to find out that you don’t even qualify to be in the Army? I’m concerned about your physical fitness here.”

I’ve also noticed that Hoyt gets real up-close n’ personal when he’s being condescending. Connect this with the moment he ties up and chokes Bailey; We can see Hoyt really likes showing not only his mental dominance, but his physical as well. Now, Hoyt is 6 feet, that’s tall. Compared to Thomas? That’s 5 inches shorter, and at maybe half or ⅗ of the weight. {I headcanon Thomas at around 330/320.} Hoyt sure as hell feels intimidated by Thomas physically. Mentally? Nah, probably not. He knows he could manipulate Thomas one way or another. 

Now; I’d like to focus on how Hoyt treats the family. He rarely if ever gets fussy with them to the extent of the victims. In the 2006 deleted scenes, at around 5:54 - 6:20, Hoyt never yells at Luda Mae and corrects himself when she scolds him. As she raises her voice, he gets fed up but never yells, only says;

“God damnit, Momma, let me handle this.”

He’s stressed, she’s most definitely stressed, and he feels the need to control everything to manage it. His speech at 2:01 of the 2006 extended scenes part 1 is very loving coming from him. He’s trying to reassure his family that everything will be fine whilst also shit-talking the ‘enemy;’ Further isolating them from civilization which they’ve only known to be a negative. He also calmly tries coaxing / ordering Thomas in for supper as opposed to yelling at him. He definitely switches between Hoyt and Charlie around his family; Even though he keeps Hoyt as the ‘default’ to remain in power {which is his source of comfort}, he lets Charlie slip through when it’s needed. 

____

Now for everyone’s favorite big boy; Thomas <3. The extended scene in part 2 {0:00 - 0:30} when Bailey see’s him and just starts screaming {rightfully so, she’s terrified}. Thomas is just standing there, fidgeting with his hands like 🤨/😐 - I know bro was reliving some school / work trauma. Seeing him fidget and doing what’s called ‘T-rex arms’ makes me think he’s neurodivergent. Obviously that’s not the only thing, I’ve been thinking he’s autistic specifically for a while now {Me pushing my autism onto a character} but it fits, no? {Maybe I'll do a post talking about his neurodivergence, idk} And he looks so overwhelmed during the dinner / Hoyt’s speech scene {In the extended scenes part 1.} OH! And ESPECIALLY when Hoyt brings him down to the basement at 37:40 in The Beginning 2006. He looks so overwhelmed and possibly terrified? When you brighten the scene, his expression is much easier to see {I’ll put a picture / gif below}. I think it’s safe to assume Thomas was a bit reluctant to continue as Hoyt had to coax him;

“Come on, Tommy, ain’t no different than the slaughterhouse. Meat’s meat; Bone’s bone. Get it done.”

I think Thomas really only got comfortable with the new lifestyle after he used it as an artistic outlet. Especially when he got to ‘experiment’ on Eric. I’ve seen multiple people use this scene as a means to say Thomas is gay. And listen, I don’t necessarily disagree, I don’t think he’s completely straight either {Reminder, any character that’s sexuality isn’t confirmed means that labeling them as ‘straight’ is a headcanon too!} I just think there’s more to work with here. I myself have struggles with my sexuality, specifically with how I view women. I’m not trying to push this onto Tommy, I just see potential similarities. I think Thomas was definitely envious of Eric, therefore, taking his face and ‘becoming’ something similar to him was a way to hide himself and present in a more ‘attractive way.’ I think he’s attracted to men, but his attraction is either masked or based on the idea of being like them. Eric has a life with such intense purpose. An army veteran {returning as well} with a partner, good family dynamic, and a friend group? ONTOP of being attractive and fit? Oh, hun, you know Thomas was yearning right there. He just wants to be good enough. I mean, really really, good enough. I don’t know why, but my brain automatically went to ‘he wants to become and consume Eric.’ As in, he’s attracted to the idea of being {like} Eric; As well as being attracted to Eric. I don’t know how to communicate this properly so I hope you get what I’m putting down.

___

Again, apologies for my long incoherent rants; I have so many ideas that I want to share

Much love, 🫀

[whumpisgoodwhumpislife]

Examen II

Masterlist

CW needles, medical setting

The delicate skin of his stomach had bruised, and was swollen under the touch. Not that Everest dared to touch it, he had no will to add more pain to his situation. But even uncurling from his fetal position would send jolt of pain through his midsection. Quiet, pained little noises escaped from his throat every time he shifted, the muzzle preventing him from calling out.

Another day went by and they came back. But this time, the burly one hoisted Everest to his feet, holding him up. It felt like he was being more gentle than the previous day, which confused the small vampire, even though the sore spot on his belly burnt from the movement. Something cool was applied on the reddened skin by the second man, lessening the ache even if just a bit. He tried to stay quiet, obediently silent as the human holding him up walked forward. Everest limped next to him, his hunger and weakness making him stumble as he gripped the man's clothes with his cuffed hands. They were taking him out of the cell.

And the last time it had happened, the hybrid had been quite unhappy with the results.

He didn't struggle, no, it would only bring more pain. So he walked, leaning heavily on the man next to him. The concrete under his bare feet turned to tiling, and the human took his hands off his clothes, firm but not violent. The vampire's shaking got more intense as he was pushed down on a seat. The second man cleared his throat, standing a bit further.

"So Everest, that's right? We have a last exam to perform and your friend will come to pick you up."

The word "exam" barely registered in his mind. All that Everest had heard was "your friend". It could only mean one thing; Raphael was alive, and he hadn't abandoned him. Tears filled his eyes, his expression incredulous. The same man cleared his throat again, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, Mr Welton have got a special authorisation. We just need to check some things, cue yesterday's examen. And then you'll be free, with some rules, of course."

The hybrid didn't care. He would follow all the rules to be warm and loved again. He let out a muffled series of happy chirps behind his muzzle.

Everest didn't understand much of what happened during the next two hours. They performed diverse "examens", of which he couldn't grab the purpose. Only one of them would speak to him, explain with vague words what they were doing, as cold, metal devices were pressed against his throat, his forehead, eyes, and midsection.

"It's just to verify everything Mr Welton told us about you. To make sure you aren't a threat."

They examined his fangs, which made him feel deeply uncomfortable, even though he did his best to not show it. They took samples of the hybrid's blood. The needles scared him, but none of them hurt nearly as much as the one they had used the previous day.

"You're a fascinating creature, you know that ?"

Fascinating was better than freak, Everest decided. Even though the voice of the human wasn't entirely friendly.

After what felt like an eternity, the two men let him put on a kind of hospital gown, and led him to another room, gently pushing him on a seat against the wall.

"Wait here, it won't take much longer."

So the small vampire waited. He tried to move the less possible, to show how harmless he was. The minutes passed, and his head was starting to feel heavier and heavier. He slowly lied down on the row of seats, curling up in a tight ball as exhaustion washed over him. It had been a long day.

Taglist : @sausages-things @jumpywhumpywriter @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @thataquaticwhumper @alyscat

@whatamidoingherehelpme @fleur-a-whump @ratsupremacy88 @whatiswhump @scoundrelwithboba

@phoenixpromptsandstuff @bacillusinfection @artfulbok

[lilvoidcreature13]

1. Where the fuck are you meeting snape fans who whitewash Snape and his actions? The biggest appeal to Snape fans is his grey morality, which is way more interesting than the majority of other characters. He's literally the smallest drop of realism in a very black and white book series. Also the majority of the Snape fans I interact with acknowledge that there were compounding factors to Severus's numerous problems, James is just one of those factors since James Canonically bullied him. Perhaps you're confusing Snape fans discussing pre-fifth year Snape as a discussion on post fifth year Snape?

2. What do you mean Severus wasn't an innocent little boy who got picked on? That literally what happened. James and Sirius literally started calling him Snivilous five minutes after knowing the guy because he wanted to be in Slytherin. Maybe I've been touching too much grass lately, but innocent ≠ good person, it means: not guilty of a crime and thus undeserving of punishment. Is wanting to be in Slytherin a crime to you? Is an 11 year old half blood raised in a muggle town 'supposedly' knowing more dark spells than a 17 year old wizard (an adult by their cultures standards) a crime worthy of punishmpent to the degree that the Mauraders dished out? Why don't you use some canon to justify you stance that an 11 year old deserved to be bullied.

3. Snape didn't bully the Mauraders, you need to put down the fanon and look at the actual canon, honey. He "gave as good as he got" according his his bullies but we seen in his memories that it was the Mauraders who initiated the fights, and I'm sorry to tell you this but someone fighting back does make them 'just as bad' as the people who started the fights. It's why things like Zero Tolerance Policy didn't actually prevent bullying.

Now if you wanted to make the argument that Snape bullied people, we have been told that he called other people mudblood before he called Lily it, which I would count as bullying. Then again, I've been told by Bambi Stans that name calling isn't really bullying so who knows 🤷🏽‍♀️. (I'm being sarcastic here, I'm just pointing out a hypocrisy I've seen in James Stans when it comes to bullying.)

4. It wasn't mutual. "Giving as good as you get" Isn't mutual when the Mauraders are the ones starting the fights. Also there's no canon that suggests Severus ever tried to kill the Mauraders, nor is there any canonical evidence that Snape ever put the Mauraders upside down, showed people their underwear and then threaten to take off said underwear. Those are the Canonical actions of the Mauraders.

5. Also what do you mean Severus stayed as a selfish racist his whole life? Did you not read the books? Or at least watch the movies? Because I don't know if you know this but he switched sides. He literally told one of the Black paints to not say mudblood around him. Where's your canon evidence that he remained a wizard racist?

5.5 your seriously gonna call Severus actions selfish? I don't know if you know this but when someone's selfish, they teld to act in a way that is self serving, they do what's best for themselves even at the cost of another being. What Severus did was promise Dumbledore anything in exchange for Lily's safety, after he found out he indirectly put her in danger with the prophecy. Did he actonhis guilt? Yeah, butto call this selfish issue nonsensical that I think sociologist aughtto observe you. A selfish person would have found a way to alleviate their guilt in a way that doesn't involve: Going to the enemy for help, offering up anything inexchange for the safety of another person, and putting themselves in danger by spying on the group that's known for torturing people for fun all in the name of protecting someone else. Then, when Dumbledore fails to uphold his side of the bargain, aka Lily still dies in the end, Snape still continues to stay by Dumbledores' side being a teacher, which he clearly doesn't like doing, while waiting for Voldy to comment back, even though Dumbledore wasn't able to keep up his side of the bargain. Snape then has to keep saving Harry from dangers the boy chases after in the shadows, doing this while not taking any credit or expecting praise. He literally turns himself into a murder, something he was apprehensive on doing, because two people have asked him to do it so Draco can be spared. These are not the actions of a Selfish man trying to alleviate guilt, guilt won't carry you to these kinds of lengths, self reservation overrides that.

6. The ages for 1 to 25 are the most formative years of our lives, our minds learn and absorb everything ad ingrains things into our minds so that we can still recall thigs we have learned when our brains are still developing. Of course Snape isn't gonna just 'get over it'. There are literally no avenues for him to 'get over it'. Therapy was heavily sigatized and did cost money. There was no justice, no one to say that what the Mauraders did wasn't ok, just people in a crowd laughing as Severus is pubically assaulted.

7. James never changed, he bullied people up until 7th year, dispite being head boy. He goes out, as an adult, and speads around muggles, gets chaised by the police and death Eaters, and decides to Levitate the muggle car up in the air to crash into the DEs, then they just leave the muggle police with the DEs, and then he dies. Marrying a girl does magically turn a shitty person into an ok person, "good girls can fix bad boys" is not evidence of a change in behaviors, it's a fanfiction trope.

These next parts are gonna hurt you feelings. I contemplated not saying this but decided that if you comfortable making statements like "he should get over it" you aught to be comfortable with hearing some actual critism.

As some who got her shirt ripped down in a hallway full of classmates as a 'joke' and got told tgat it was ny fault for being 'provacative' (aka having big boobs), you can go fuck yourself if you think Severus should just get over it. I try to be as nice as i can, but Im not always successful in that edevor when it comes to SA apologists. You don't get to tell survivors of SA that they need to get over it, other SA survivors don't get to tell their fellow survivors that they need to get over a formative event in their lives. Would you tell black people that they need to get over Slavery? Would you tell Jewish people, and the other groups that were killed in the camps, that they need to get over it? I don't know how your capable of saying something so un-empathetic and yet still make a post like this presenting yourself as a "hold Snape accountable, racism is bad" person. The mental gymnastics are Olympic Level.

And before anyone says: it's not SA. Go argue with the wall because there's only two reason you wouldn't consider SWM SA.

1. You thing exposing people's private area against their will is ok.

2. You don't think men can be assaulted.

In either case you need to stay away from people, your gonna hurt someone.

The psychology of snape lovers needs to be studied i fear

I don't like snape but you can if you want (none of this is that big of a deal) but the people who act like snape was perfect and all his problems were caused by James just baffle me. Yes the Marauders were bad to Snape, but Snape was not an innocent lil boy who happened to get picked on. He was just as responsible for his actions at that age as they were, if your going to hate James for bullying you have to remember Snape was doing the same thing! It was mutual hatred. Snape was not a helpless baby he was a wizard racist! He continued to be a selfish racist person his whole life and hated on children for no reason. He held grudges about things that happened at 15 till he was almost 40. He only left the deatheaters because they were going to kill lily, he didn't care if they killed James and Harry. He was selfish till he died, his friendship with lily was ruined by him and him alone. James was a rude 15 years old, but he grew as a person. Snape didn't.

[everyryuujisuguro]

[luck-of-the-drawings]

EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?

[dykedvonte]

Ty for answering my asks! Recently, I saw some fanart of the gender bendered crew and it got me curios, how much would the plot change if Jimmy was a woman. I mean, she would still be emotionally abusive (esp to Fem!Curly), but at lest, I guess, the crash would've never happened (?)

Also, her relationship w/ Anya: if she was assulted still, it prolly would've been dissmissed, since it's between 2 women. Or, if Anya is male in this scenario, he couldn't really be able to talk abt it, since society decided that "women can't r*pe men", so it's not serious and he should suck it up. Man, it's just sucks to be Anya in any scenario my poor girl 😭

What do you think? If you have an opinion on that at all, that is

-💀

I think the scenario's where the gender was flipped or any level of gender based intersectionality is expanded makes it so much more complex.

If this is the scenario with fem!Jimmy, it comes with the territory of questionable internalized homophobia. Does Jimmy brush it off in this scenario because she doesn't think lesbian encounters are real ones? Is she struggling with her identity and taking it out on Anya who may be openly queer compared a fem!Curly who is either straight or just not interested in Jimmy? Perhaps it's a sort of weird entitled that can occur in female dominated spaces "We're both girls, I know what you have, it won't matter." It's still is something I don't see Jimmy denying in this scenario, he never really denies it in canon just talks around it with Curly. Here I can see it's less about the pregnancy and more so about the internalized homophobia. Not seeing Anya as anything but an unwanted aspect of her femineity and the allure of it, there's a lot more objectification of both Curly and Anya in this alteration as I would believe feels better thinking of them in that light if they are just fodder in her mind. Guilty pleasures that no longer bring her such. It's a careful situation because I don't want this to fall into predatory lesbian stereotyping, Jimmy is just a person who does not respect other people or their choice, if it conflict with what he wants or perceived is owed.

The idea of Curly having to report it and outing her not only as a rapist but queer and the denial, especially in the case Anya and Curly are both out as she feels a sort of resentment she can't be secure with herself that way. If it is masc!Curly, there could be the jealousy of him being able to actively pursue relationships he wants while she feels she can't, Anya and Curly playfully flirt, its casual but it's something she longs for in the same way she doesn't. She obsesses over Curly because she wishes she could be Curly in a social sense in both aspect male or female Curly.

If it's fem!Jimmy and masc!Anya? It's a much more delicate situation. In this scenario Jimmy gets pregnant. Maybe Anya does a blood test after the incident and finds out Jimmy is pregnant. It's a very sensitive matter because if it's fem!Curly her first assumption is Anya may have done something. That is just the immediate assumptions in cases like this. I think the fact that Anya is telling her would make Curly think it's not that simple, especially since Jimmy isn't brining it up or really caring but everyone reacts differently. Jimmy is pregnant however, and that's a big deal, she'll figure that out eventually on her own but how will she react? Curly knows it won't be good, Anya knows too.

I think the crash is instigated in this scenerio by fem!Curly actually doing more, refusing to sweep it under the rug because she can conceptualize that fear, likely she and Jimmy are the only girls on board. She trusts everyone, well did trust everyone, but it's just something you live with. She can't just live with that double standard but I feel like she really doesn't know how to address it. How does she bring it up to superiors without implicating Anya? What does she do with Jimmy, it still feels like she's catering to Jimmy but now the concern is primarily focused on the life this baby will be born into. If it is born at all. I don't think Jimmy would try to kill Anya in this concept but try to spin the narrative it was mutual up until she got pregnant. Curly doesn't really buy it but it's a lot of processing, a lot more he said she said but what Jimmy is saying just doesn't make sense. It gives Jimmy too much time to really settle with the fact she's pregnant and likely can't support a kid nor wants to give birth out in space. Jimmy feeling like she's being othered from the only other woman could also be a factor, maybe even starting into her thinking Curly is behaving like a "pick-me" for siding with a guy over her. The crash is more spiteful in terms of having to protect herself alone, due to Curly not outright supporting her delusions.

It really adds a certain horror to Jimmy's pregnancy hallucinations because after the crash they are about her, her symptoms the sign of showing. She doesn't want the child either and considering what being pregnant can do to your mental/physical state, especially some of the more negative symptoms, I doubt she is handling it well. A lot of Anya's struggles are with the stigmas around male victims. His body reacted so did he want it? He's gonna be a father and courts likely will make him pay or care for the baby even if they take Anya's side, their world is just like that. Would the other's blame him for not doing more, he is a man after all? Should he be considered lucky a woman was that into him? It's eating away at him because not only does he not feel safe, he actively blames himself.

In the case Curly is still a cis guy, its that weird feeling guys often get when talking about male victims of assault. I don't think he'd victim blame but he likely asks or thinks about how it could've happened, why wouldn't Anya just overpower Jimmy? Maybe he couldn't? Maybe Anya didn't have it in him to strike a woman. He wouldn't. Now he thinks of what he would have done if Jimmy did something like that to him. SImilary to my trans!Curly post, he's wondering if it could've been him. It's likely one of the first times in his life he has to think of that type of vulnerability in terms of himself and other men and against likely his girl best friend. I think that arm pat right before Jimmy crashes the ship would really make him feel weird, not like he'd have the time to really dig into those feeling but y'know WERE GONNA CRASH!!!.

In terms of Jimmy and Curly's specific relationship, it just gets messier if they aren't both guys or girls. There's a lot of misogny on Jimmy's side with fem!Curly. He often points out she's a woman captain or makes a point of her being one of the few independent woman in her field and how certain men hate that. It's insidious but Curly doesn't think about or like to cause she likes to believe Jimmy isn't one of those guys. He can be a bit antiquated, maybe a bit of a pig but no ones perfect! Here a lot of his resentment is more gear toward a woman having that power over him as Captain/filling the typical male roles he fails at. He can't stand that she's above him in almost aspect and he likely takes it out on other women. Similarly, fem!Jimmy and cis Curly is just as bad. It's a fact of not knowing if she wants to be him, wants him or wants to destroy him. It's obsession without anything positive. She feels entitled to his space and life and time and he has a hard time setting up boundaries cause, well, Jimmy's a girl, his bestfriend and it comes with all the stigmas around boygirl best friends. To him it's a sort of oppressive doting, he feels wrong telling her not to pick and like he's being controlling. That's how she'd spin it whenever he'd try to make boundaries with her.

They are still just friends but most people can't tell even if they can tell it's not healthy, in both cases. Either way I feel like if they were opposite genders to each other there would a specific infatuation Jimmy would have with Curly that would be less hidden but sort of unaddressed because the idea of Curly rejecting them would make them lash out in a way Curly may just leave for their safety. It's also Jimmy wouldn't want to be with Curly specifically but just want what would consistently provide/available.

If they are both girls, its envy. It's that sort of hate that someone fits the standards you don't, wanting them to be picked second or crack. She likes to get into Curly's head, point out flaws and act like it's just her being helpful. She wants Curly to be a girls girl but only for her. There's a sort of possessiveness like purposely jeopardizing relationships because why would a man come first? That girl hates me and is a pick me, why are you friends with her still, Curly? Like this is silly but think about how Regina George treats Gretchen Wieners and that's effectively how fem!Curly and fem!Jimmy would work but technically Curly has the sway of Regina.

I believe the crash would always happen. Jimmy would try to escape responsibility or really thinking about what they did in any world, any gender. It's about facing the consequences, losing things he refuses to let go of or having to deal with responsibilities he's not ready for. The switching of sex or gender really doesn't change those core aspects.

[moe-broey]

This is the face of a man who had A REALLY. REALLY SPECIFIC IMAGE. HE WANTED TO PUT OUT THERE. To control the narrative, to manage the perception of himself. All shattered in a fucking instant because Moe is a bastard who generally lacks a filter.

And this is the reaction of a guy who's been there. Done that. It's IMMEDIATE and VISCERAL. Violence, ON SIGHT. Now, the funny thing here, is I'm not sure if this is more Moe or Mani, showing. It's that beautiful underflow effect of the Continuum. Where everyone in there is on the same page. GET HIS FUCKING ASS‼️‼️‼️‼️ HE'S DOING IT HE'S DOING THE THING AND WORST OF ALL HE'S DOING IT POORLY‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️(Keep this in mind. Put a pin in it.)

Okay now go back to the first image. Moe Assessing Alfonse's outfit. REALLY examining it, in its entirety. What is he trying to say? Moe is getting logistical about it. Alfonse does Not Know This, he has NO context as to Why Moe is Doing That. All he knows is he Failed at Something, and he's this fucking close to having a catastrophic category 10 event.

But before he does, Moe recalibrates. It has re-evaluated him and his outfit. It has made A Verdict. Now, there's something about that mannerism.... that little head tilt and delicate gesture...

Ah. That's Mani speaking. It's attempting to save the interaction, presumably. Autistic masking take the wheel! And when that clearly doesn't work. Just double down. Triple down. Get really REALLY serious about it. Kind of like......... well, Alfonse, himself. Huh.

I think something else is happening when Mani starts showing so strongly here, though. That pin I mentioned. A lot of Moe's hostility towards Alfonse is just Moe's fear response kicking in. It sees something in him, that it recognizes in itself (or, in specific cases -- something Moe won't even allow itself to acknowledge, much less admit. So it's just bent out of shape and can't for the life of it figure out WHY 😭). It all goes back to Protection. And Moe's neuroticism. If you Fail you are GOING TO DIE YOU'RE GONNA DIE SO BADLY.

Which... just makes Moe (Mani?) giving that stamp of approval even funnier. Like, you know what? I may think you're full of shit but for what it's worth, what you're attempting to do here, you DO perform it well. I think you'll be Safe (For Now). That's ultimately what Moe (Mani.) is communicating, here. Although, there's always that looming "but WATCH OUT!" in the back of its mind...

Moe isn't the only one who gets violent about recognition of the self through the other, though. PVP ACTIVATED. Pot meet kettle. I suppose Alfonse has a little more decorum about it, though (unless if you REALLY manage to strike a nerve).

Also a little note about this comparison. I just think it's funny. I love that Mani so much it's SO Fucking Mad. Even though the circumstances are different, I couldn't resist directly lifting from/tying back to that Mani expression. Actually......... I've got it. That Mani is experiencing exactly what Alfonse was in THIS comic. Where Mani was putting up a brooding serious front, and Alfonse just cut right through it! LIKE the note I was GONNA make was more about how Moe and Mani in each example are experiencing dif emotional reactions to Alfonse being cunty. I was parsing out, well, the vibes are different??? The first is def more playful? And Mani is definitely more offended, at not being taken seriously. But they have that same goofy face about it. BUT THAT CONNECTION. BETWEEN Mani and Alfonse. Is soooooo important is actually so loadbearing...

And I've pointed it out before/during the process of this, but!!! That's one of Moe's (rare!) award winning smiles! It's very... oh! You see me! Now you know me, and I'm not afraid. Gender euphoria smile. Also. Somehow. All ties back to that sense of identity Moe gained, that Mani inherently lacks due to its circumstances...

Also. Final close up/image limit.

Very special shout-out to Moe's faggy Hiiiiiii ✨✨✨😊😊😊😁😁😁 while masc only to IMMEDIATELY cut itself off to just tear that man asunder. AND the implication that BOTH of them are early.... Moe. Moe. You had One Job. And you just. I've never seen anyone fuck it up that badly.

In At Least Three Universes, You and I Are Friends

[ell-arts]

Home

Quickly put this together today, I hope you like it! I'm really happy with the textures and emotional storytelling in this :3

[likedbyuarmyhope]

twt armys giving 20k+ likes to blatant xenophobia toward sk in the name of "protecting bts"... you all couldnt stop at zionism, anti-blackness, homophobia, transphobia, racism, misogyny. you just really had to make sure EVERYONE knows without a doubt that you're soulless amoral freaks. not only do you not care about other people in general, you don't even care about bts, you just see them as props to boost your own ego. your so-called love for bts is manifesting in hatred for their country and their heritage that they've always spoken about with so much pride--how can you call that love? your whole existence revolves around bts but you don't fucking listen to them, not their lyrics, not their interviews, nothing. this fandom has always had issues but in the last few years and ESPECIALLY the last 6 months it's become unbearable and inescapable. you people are not human. i will always be so proud to be a fan of bts but you couldn't pay me to call myself part of this fandom with a smile on my face right now

[blackvahana]

i am really never going to understand why people post "shifting antis dni" in the astral projection tag. "here practice that constantly gets appropriated by us and used as a weird justification for a new set of beliefs that aren't really based in the same reality you work with, and that also gets completely misunderstood by our community because we don't care to understand what you do and just pretend we know it's what we do like christians saying other religions worship the christian god, have a post! Also dni if you don't like our practice that has nothing to do with the one whose tag we just shoved this into"

if you're not astral projecting don't put shit in the ap tag. if you don't even know the difference between AP and RS I dont think your opinion holds enough weight to counter the pushback against flooding a separate practice's tag with "if you dont like the practice I'm talking about in your tags dni"

[prentissluvr]

tw long rant and swearing!

hey!! if you don't like something i wrote! shut the fuck up and move on!! thanks bye!! no hate is tolerated on this blog :)))

i don't care if you don't like the way i characterized someone in my story!! shut up and get a better hobby than hating on something someone has spent hours creating and pouring love into and accusing them of hating one of their favorite characters because you think that the fic they wrote FOR FUN and NOT FOR YOU is bad characterization/makes the character flawed in a way that you don't like because you have a poor understanding of what makes fanfiction fanfiction (and also humans human tbh lol). sure, they're maybe more flawed than in the actual show, but THATS THE FUCKING POINT OF FANFICTION!!! IS THAT ITS NOT A REAL PART OF THE SHOW!!! AND ITS WRITTEN!!! FOR FUNNNNN!!!!! AND NOT FUCKING FOR YOU AND YOUR FUCK ASS OPINIONS SPECIFICALLY!!!!!!!! and if you think it sucks, i don't care!! you are entitled to your opinion!!!! hate it so so so much but get the fuck over yourself if you think that telling me it's horrible and unrealistic and somehow creating a bad wrap FOR MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THIS SHOW is somehow a meaningful usage of your time or gonna get me to delete the fic or stop liking it or stop promoting my own hard work !!!! i'm proud of the things i write and nothing will ever change that. i hope you know what a shitty shitty shitty (and embarrassing) thing it is to do to leave a whole paragraph of hate under someone's hard work just because they interpret a fictional fucking character in a way that you don't like. genuinely genuinely get the fuck over yourself and find a better way to spend your time than caring more about fictional characters than real life people.

[mishtershpock]

.