#it reminds me of John Connor

[maysileeewrites]

a helping hand - John Murphy x reader

Summary: „Why are you helping me? I’m the bad guy, in case you forgot.“ Set during 1 x 10 (I am become Death), based on this teaser.

warnings: mentions of blood + injuries, angst, Murphy being Murphy (yes, he does have a soft side in this, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not still a dick); please lmk if I forgot something! 

AN: I’m not quite sure whether anyone will still care for Murphy x reader in 2023, but I love my trash son so much, I just had to write something about him. Please let me know if you liked it! 

You dip the bloodied cloth into the bucket filled with water, watching as the water slowly turns red. Your hands are bloody as well and there’s dried blood crested under your fingernails, but with all the sick teens around you needing medical attendance, you don’t have time to try to thoroughly wash your hands, so you just dip them into the water, grabbing a bar of soap, watching as the water turns an even deeper red. 

Blood. 

There’s just so much of it. 

You sigh, standing up again. There’s no time for dwelling on your thoughts, not when the whole first floor of the Dropship is full of sick, coughing teenagers that need your help. 

You go to Fox and Connor next, checking up on them. But apart from trying to clean them up - they’ve started coughing up blood as well - and getting them to drink some water, there isn’t much you can do to actually help them. You have no medicine, no painkillers - apart from Monty’s moonshine and considering that a painkiller really is a stretch in your opinion -, nothing. Only a few spare blankets you and Clarke gave out earlier, in order to help keep everyone warm. 

A sudden wave of anger and irritation at your helplessness when faced with this unknown, dangerous virus overcomes you and you clench your fists in frustration. You allow yourself a moment to try and bury that emotion deep inside - because being this emotionally overwhelmed, you won’t be any help to the others -, closing your eyes and breathing deeply. 

When you open your eyes again, they land on Murphy - who’s looking right back at you with his good eye, the other one is still swollen shut. 

You gulp, trying to swallow down the nervousness that is suddenly clawing its way up your throat. Murphy’s the one who brought the disease into the Camp. 

After being tortured by the grounders for days, you try to remind yourself. After being unceremoniously tossed out of Camp for a murder he didn’t commit. And while he’s definitely a rude asshole that can be a bit unpredictable at times - though you think more often than not he’s just lashing out when provoked, attacked, or in case of the whole Charlotte incident, wrongfully accused - you don’t think that he’s as bad as everyone makes him out to be. 

But maybe that’s just you being naive, always wanting to see the good in people. He did try to go after Charlotte, after all. Though, you think, that probably had more to do with him seeking justice - a twisted, self-righteous kind of justice, but still justice - than vengeance. 

You sigh, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Whatever the deal with Murphy is - and whatever the reason for you to suddenly spend so much of your thoughts on him is - right now, it doesn’t matter. 

Right now the only thing that matters is that he’s sick and hurt and he needs someone to help him clean up his wounds and that’s exactly what you’re here for. 

So, you take a deep breath and square your shoulders, before walking over to him and dropping down in front of him. His blue-green eyes - the good one at least- meet yours for just a split second, but then he’s looking away again. You dip the cloth into the bucket of water - after helping Fox and Connor you’d gone out to get some fresh water - and reach out for him, but just when you’re about to touch him, he twists away from you. 

„What’re you doing?“, he says, his voice low, distrust and irritation evident in his expression. 

„Helping you“, you answer, gesturing to the wet cloth in your hands. „Someone needs to clean up your wounds, Murphy.“ 

He scoffs. „Yeah, right.“ 

You frown. „Look Murphy, just let me help you, please.“ 

He doesn’t say anything to that, doesn’t acknowledge your words with anything other than a raise of his eyebrows, but you decide to just take his lack of a verbal response as a good sign - or at least as a sign that he hopefully won’t refuse your help any further. 

You wet the cloth cloth again, before carefully reaching your hand out to him again. This time, he doesn’t twist away from you, so you gingerly touch his bloodied and scarred cheek with your fingertips, before carefully applying pressure with the cloth. 

All the while, Murphy looks at you, an undecipherable emotion in his blue-green eyes. The intensity of his gaze is distracting, and you swallow, trying to concentrate on cleaning up his wounds, trying to ignore the burning heat of his gaze. Though it’s impossible to really ignore it, with you two being so close that you can feel his warm breath ghosting over your skin, causing you to shiver. 

Something shifts in Murphy’s expression then - if you weren’t paying so much attention, you might’ve missed it, but as it is, you can see the bitter smirk that crosses his lips for an instant, before he bites down hard on his lips. 

Your eyes meet then. You swallow - you feel caught in his stare, unable to look at anything but him. 

„Why are you helping me?“, he asks you, his voice low and raspy and laced with something that almost sounds like desperation. „I’m the bad guy, in case you forgot.“ 

„Because you need help“, you say, underlining your words by lightly trailing your fingertips over the deep cut on his left cheek. „And because I want to understand you.“ It’s true - you do want to understand him. You want to know how he came to be who he is today, why on earth he set fire to a room on the Ark. 

And fuck. This - this is dangerous. 

That bitter smirk crosses his face again. „Oh, so you want to know why I’m such a jerk, why I told the Camp’s location to the grounders, is that it?“ 

„You were tortured“, you say softly, but Murphy only scoffs. 

„Yeah, I’m afraid that doesn’t count as an excuse“, he says, voice full of bitterness. 

„Wha-“, you start to say, but then you remember that you saw Bellamy talking to Murphy earlier. And yes, that would certainly explain Murphy’s comments about his being tortured not being an excuse for giving up your location. 

You sigh frustratedly. Of course you know that Bellamy only wants to protect everyone at Camp, but you also know him well enough to imagine him making some kind of petty remark how he wouldn’t have caved under torture, wouldn’t have given up the Camp’s location. 

Which - fuck that. Anyone would eventually cave under torture, even someone as strong-willed and fierce as Bellamy. 

Murphy’s hiss of pain when you accidentally linger too long on one of his cuts with your fingertips draws you out of your thoughts. „Sorry“ you say, biting your lip. 

Murphy just shrugs and suddenly you’re hit with the desperate urge to help him, even though you’re not quite sure if there even is anything you can do that could make his situation better - apart from cleaning up his wounds, which you already are doing. 

„I’m sorry for what happened to you“, you say then, looking at him. „That’s not - I can only imagine what you went through and I really am sorry that that happened to you.“ 

Murphy looks at you, confusion and irritation evident in his expression. 

„And I know that won’t change anything-“

„No it won’t“, Murphy interrupts you, but this time, there’s no venom in his voice - just pain and resignation. „But it’s nothing I haven’t experienced before.“ 

Now it’s your turn to be confused. As you continue cleaning up his wounds, you mull over his words in your mind, trying to understand what he’s implying with his words. Does he mean that he was tortured on the Ark? But that can’t be right, can it? Yes, the Ark’s council is strict and unforgiving, but you haven’t heard about them torturing somebody. 

„Can you even see anything like that?“, Murphy says, interrupting your thought process, and suddenly he’s reaching out with one hand, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. 

You swallow, trying desperately not to show how much that one little touch affected you. But your heart is thundering so loudly in your chest that you’re convinced that he’s able to hear it. 

Especially once you can no longer pretend to re-inspect the cuts on his face yet again - you really need to take a look at the wounds on his chest. 

You clear your throat, trying to sound more confident than you feel. „I - uh - I need to take a look at the wounds on your chest, judging by all that blood I’ll probably need to do some stitches … uhm could you - uh - maybe take off your shirt?“ 

Kill me, you think, wanting to die from embarrassment. Of course, the first time you’ll see a boy without his shirt on - apart from some of the boys that walk around Camp shirtless in the morning and you don’t think that they actually count - has to be in this weird situation. 

As if reading your thoughts, Murphy just smirks, before taking off his shirt. But just when’s almost free of his shirt, he hisses, his face screwing up in pain. 

„Let me“, you say, helping him. 

For a moment, you just stare at each other breathlessly. 

Then, so quietly that you’re not quite sure whether you’ve imagined it, he says: „Thank you.“ 

You nod, clearing your throat. Not knowing what else to say, you start inspecting his chest, lightly trailing your fingertips over the various scratches and other wounds - trying not to be distracted by his muscles you can feel under your fingertips and his burning gaze. 

Murphy hisses again when your fingers brush over a particularly deep wound. „Sorry“, you murmur, leaning in even closer to get a better look at his wound. „This wound needs some stitches, I’m, uh, going to get a needle and some thread.“ 

You get up and walk over to where all the medical supplies are stored, thankful for this short moment away from Murphy, his intense stare and your confusing thoughts about him. 

„Here“, you say, after sitting down in front of Murphy again and hand him the bottle of moonshine you’ve grabbed as well, „you might want to drink this before I get started on those stitches.“

Murphy just nods, taking the bottle of moonshine from you and taking a long, big sip. „Do your worst“, he says, prompting you to roll your eyes. 

„Thanks for the vote of confidence“, you murmur, though you can understand why he’d be apprehensive about this. If it were you being in his situation, you’d rather be stitched up by a trained doctor as well, but since you teens are all on your own and Clarke, the only one of you with actual medical training is currently getting some well-deserved sleep, you’re his only option. Unlike Clarke, you haven’t received any actual medical training but you do know how to give stitches - in theory at least - so you hopefully won’t screw this up. 

Here goes nothing, you think, getting started on the stitches. 

Murphy bites down hard on his lips, though a slight hiss still escapes him. 

You cringe, shooting him an apologetic smile before concentrating on his wound again. „Sorry.“ 

Murphy doesn’t say anything in response, just nods. 

You’re both quiet as you continue with the stitches. Then, when you’re almost done, Murphy suddenly says: „I got real sick when I was thirteen … only made it because my dad stole some medicine for me ... course, he got floated for it …“ 

You swallow, meeting his gaze. You don’t know why he’s suddenly telling you this - you just know that the story he’s about to tell you most likely won’t have a happy ending. 

Murphy looks away from you then, laughing bitterly. „My mother … she was never the same after his death … She started drinking. Blamed me for his death. Told me everyday that I’m a worthless good-for-nothing that’s responsible for his father’s death. She died three years after him … and I just-“

He stops talking then, shaking his head. 

„Murphy, I-“, you start to say, though you stop as well, not quite knowing what it is that you actually want to say. Murphy suddenly opening up to you is so confusing and his story so heartbreaking, you’re not quite sure what the appropriate words for this situation are, let alone if there even are any. 

„Anyway“, Murphy now says, voice tinged with bitterness, „I just - I had all this pai- anger in me and I didn’t know how to handle it, how to let it out. So I set fire to those rooms, got arrested.“ 

„Murphy …“, you say, your voice hollow, your heart breaking for the broken, angry boy in front of. 

He laughs dryly, though the sound has a wheezing quality to it that instantly worries you. „You wanted to know, didn’t you? Wanted to understand why I became such a jerk. Well, there you have it.“

„I do“, you say, putting away the needle and thread and looking at Murphy, meeting his gaze. „I do understand you, Murphy. I still think you’re an opportunistic jerk, but I understand, I really do. I - I know that it’s not worth much, but I am sorry that this happened to you, it’s awful.“ 

Murphy just shrugs, not saying anything. 

But he’s still looking at you and now that you know what to look for, now that you finally understand him better, you see the pain in his expression.

Not just due to the torture. There’s so much more, pain that’s probably been building in him for years and that he turned into sharp, pointed hate and anger, because he didn’t know how to deal with all of his pain. 

You want to help him, though you don’t really know how and why. Yes, he is a rude jerk and at Camp he was also somewhat of a bully, but you think that that’s most likely due to him not knowing how to communicate in something that’s not just anger and aggression. But you also believe that there’s more to him - that he’s not just this lonely, broken, rude jerk that that’s probably just a facade he’s hiding behind. 

„I understand, Murphy“, you say again, still looking at the storm of emotions in his green-blue eyes. Something shifts in Murphy’s expression then - he’s listening to you and something in his gaze tells you that he believes your words, believes you. „I truly do. But there’s more to life than just pain, anger and aggression.“ 

With that, you reach out a hand, softly grasping one of his hands with yours. You’re not quite sure why you’re doing it, you just know that you want to be there for Murphy, that you want to help him - and that you want him to understand that you truly mean your words. 

Murphy’s arm jerks, as if he wants to rip his hand out of your grasp, but then he grasps your hand, squeezing it lightly. He reaches up with his other hand, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. 

Just like before, your breath hitches. But this - this is different than before. This time, there’s no venom in Murphy’s gaze, no quiet challenge, no pent-up anger. Just curiosity and something softer that you can’t quite describe. 

„I still don’t really get why you’re helping me“, Murphy says, leaning even closer to you. You’re so close that you could count the lashes on his good eye. You feel his breath ghosting over your skin and you shiver in anticipation. 

„But I’m glad that I let you.“ With that, he leans in even closer, searching your eyes and whatever he sees in them, must convince him. He presses his lips to yours and you’re so overwhelmed that you don’t know how to react. But just when you feel Murphy starting to pull away, you kiss him back, bringing your free hand up to his neck. 

You feel him smirk into the kiss and if you weren’t currently kissing him, you’d definitely roll your eyes at him. As it is, you continue kissing him, though you give his hand a squeeze that’s probably a bit too harsh. 

Murphy just smirks again, deepening the kiss and tangling his hand in your hair. You can feel your heart start to beat faster and there’s a curious sensation in your stomach that feels like those butterflies that you’ve read about in books. 

You lose yourself in the kiss, in the feeling of Murphy.

Kissing Murphy feels good, though his lips are chapped and dry and he hisses in pain when you overeagerly lean a little too much against him. But still - kissing Murphy feels good. 

And even though you’re still confused and you know that one conversation won’t suddenly make him sunshine personified - you like his dry sarcasm way too much for that - you also know that you want more. You want to get to know Murphy, really get to know him, you want to be there for him. And if there are more occasions to kiss him along the way of getting to know him and helping him, then you certainly won’t complain about that. 

Murphy gives you one last, bruising kiss, before breaking the kiss, breathlessly leaning his forehead against yours. 

„I - Murphy - what …“, you stammer, still too wound up from the kiss. 

Murphy smirks. „That was thank you.“ 

You can’t help but roll your eyes. „I see“, you say dryly. 

„For stitching me up … and for not giving up on me“, Murphy adds, his voice serious again. 

You smile softly, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of his eye. „I’ll be sure to stick around then.“ 

Murphy grins, though there’s a vulnerability to it now that wasn’t there before. „Doesn’t sound too bad …“ 

„Yeah, it doesn’t“, you agree, before leaning up to kiss him again. 

You feel him smiling into the kiss, causing you to smile as well. 

Yes, the road ahead is not going to be easy - this is John Murphy, resident sarcastic, rude asshole, after all - but you’re not afraid to walk it with Murphy. 

[moreauyves]

Just finished watching the Terminator movies and I can't get over how much young John Connor in Terminator 2 reminded me of Andrew.

And then I watched the latest movie and they showed young Grace😭

PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M NOT INSANE AND YALL ARE SEEING THIS AS WELL

[toasttt11]

practicing

November 28, 2019

Connor walked into the locker room and was not at all surprised seeing a pair of converses in Hayden’s stall meaning she is here.

The team has got back from the first road trip of the season and they were almost gone for two whole weeks meaning they got the day off when they got back.

Connor always likes to some type of workout on his days off even a light one and he usually is alone when he works out on day offs but he has barely been alone since Hayden joined the team as Hayden likes to work out every day too.

Connor started getting ready for the ice and thought more about how Hayden is still keeping everyone at arms distance which is understandable but she has been in Edmonton for over two months now and the closest she has gotten to anyone is Lauren and that’s only been a dog playdate.

Connor knows Hayden is not only feeling the grief of her parents being dead but also being alone and away form the rest of her family and with the pressure from the media being the first overall but also the first woman to be drafted in the NHL.

Connor finished getting ready to get on the ice and headed to the ice and leaned on the boards just watching Hayden skate.

It seemed like she was almost having fun as she did a few extra moves before shooting the puck in the net. Connor immediately recognized one of the moves she did, it was a move Harrison was known for.

Connor clapped as he stepped onto the ice making Hayden’s head snap to him.

“Well done.” Connor praised her as he skated over to her.

“Thank you.” Hayden spoke quietly as she fiddled with one of her gloves.

“Do you mind if i john you?” Connor asked as he understood that sometimes you just need to work out alone.

Hayden shook her head no, not really minding if he stayed.

She would say out of everyone on the Oilers the person she feels the most comfortable around is Connor and then Leon. She still isn’t the closest with the team yet but slowly she is getting more comfortable.

Connor started practicing with Hayden and was perfectly fine with it being silent the only sounds being the puck getting hit.

Connor and Hayden took a break drinking some water.

Connor titled his head looking at Hayden. Hayden frowned curious to why he is staring, “What?”

Connor shook his head, “Sorry it’s just you remind me so much like Harrison.” Connor told her honestly.

Hayden blinked at his words and they were genuine, not with an alternative motive like the media has when they say she is similar to her dad. It’s been a while since she has heard someone say that to her kindly, “Thank you.” Hayden cleared her throat looking away from him and playing with the water bottle.

Connor just nodded even if she looked away.

“He liked you a lot.” Hayden hesitatingly spoke up, “Leon too.” Hayden added opening up slightly for the first time since she got to Edmonton.

Connor felt his face soften seeing her opening up slightly, “Harrison was an amazing player but he was more of an amazing husband and father.” Connor complimented Harrison, remembering how Harrison would always talk about his family and how easy it was to see how much he loved them.

Hayden’s eyes soften, “He was the best dad.” Hayden mumbled her lips flying into a sad bittersweet smile, “And he was the best husband to my mom.” Hayden never really has been interested in anything romantic but if she ever does she wants someone to look at her the way her dad looked at her mom.

Connor set his hand on her shoulder and squeezed softly, “He adored you.” Connor told her let out a small fond laugh remembering every dinner he had with Harrison and how Harrison always talked about his special his Hayden is and what an amazing player she is.

“I know.” Hayden nodded blinking to stop herself from crying, If there was one thing Hayden never doubted was the love her parents have for her.

Connor smiled softly at his rookie, “I don’t want to push you,” Connor started making Hayden look back up at him and seeing his sincere expression, “But if you ever need to talk to anyone i’m here always about anything okay?” Connor softly told her with his awkward smile.

Hayden’s eyes looked around Connor’s face searching for something and then she nodded, “I know.” Hayden gave him a small smile. Hayden knows how good of a captain Connor is and knows he’s always there.

“Good.” Connor said relieved, “Now get back on the ice.” Connor tapped his stick to her shins making her let out snicker.

“Yes Cap.” Hayden mumbled back with mischievous eyes and skated away not seeing the smile from Connor realizing he got to see a little bit more of her.

Connor and Hayden continued to practice for a little while longer before Connor said it was enough and they skated off the ice and walked back to the locker room.

Hayden and Connor got to their stalls and both started getting out of their equipment.

“Hey why don’t you come over for dinner soon? Lauren has been begging me to ask you?” Connor asked as he slipped his skates off. Lauren has been asking for him to get Hayden to come over soon.

Hayden paused as she untied her skates and took a moment to decide, she hasn’t really let her self go hangout with anyone outside of the arena expect once, she took a deep breath, “Alright just text me when.” Hayden agreed.

Connor smiled glad she said yes, “Okay awesome, Lauren is out of town for a few days but when she gets back.” Connor told her making her nod.

“Do you mind if Leon comes?” Connor asked wanting to make sure she isn’t uncomfortable.

Hayden nodded having no problem.

“And you can bring Archie if you want to.” Connor told her knowing Lenny got alone with Archie really well and knew Bowie likes every dog he meets.

Hayden smiled softy to her self as she nodded.

[hfrpfanmail]

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[grandgtaman1a]

REQUEST ARE OPEN NOW

Here's the character you can ask for

GTA/RDR

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Any of your Choice

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[amazing-spider-man-book-club]

The Amazing Spider-Man #6

Published: November 1963

Containing: "Face to Face with...The Lizard!"

Introducing: Curtis Connors/The Lizard, Martha Connors, Billy Connors

Synopsis: Peter is sent down to Florida to get some photos on a mysterious figure, The Lizard, who is terrorizing the everglades, but soon must discover a way to help this new villain become human again.

Read alongside us here:

https://readcomiconline.li/Comic/The-Amazing-Spider-Man-1963/Issue-6?id=4028

@frankendykes-monster: There's something so humorous to me about naming a villain "The Lizard" after already having one named "The Chameleon". The off-brand model even if they share nothing in common. I had to look up when it was discovered that dinosaurs are more closely related to birds than reptiles but no luck unlike last issue's forcing me to look up how spiders communicate.

The introduction of The Lizard rings like a horror film, the setting in Florida couldn't help but make me think of The Alligator People (1959). Virtually all the tropes like the monster staking a claim in hostile territory and scientific mishaps and an ancient castle ooze charm, it's only the near ending when The Lizard wants to create more reptilian humanoids that you're forcibly reminded that this is a supervillain we're dealing with.

I have to wonder if The Lizard was originally intended to be a one-and-done given the character never returns during Ditko's time on the title but Curt Conners does. Much like Mysterio returning to his first costume, it's something that's only established as an ongoing threat when John Romita takes over. I have to say the character's design is probably the first Ditko one that's something of an acquired taste, had he worn a purple coat and had black eyes with white pupils like on the cover, it would have been more cohesive and threatening, though I'm not a giant fan of more animalistic subsequent designs decades down the line. This issue's title page is another all-time favorite of mine for how much it reads as a three-dimensional space. Ditko occasionally goes all-out, though at the same time I feel like we see way more of Spider-Man sans webbing in this issue (whenever the character is far enough away from the camera that drawing them would be too much of a hassle. Blah.)

I have to wonder what people reading this for the first time have to make of Liz Allen and Betty Brant being Peter's love interests, because if it wasn't a full-time thing last issue, it certainly is now. Betty's appearances in the live-action Spider-Man films have more or less been cameos, is what I'm saying. Given Liz's newfound interest in Spider-Man I think it's quaint if disappointing that it isn't until Civil War, over 40 years after this, that she discovers it's Peter under the mask alongside the rest of the world. Womp womp.

Probably the most realistic thing about this issue is Jameson accidentally starting a tabloid frenzy wherein he demands Spider-Man go down to Florida to fight The Lizard. It's ridiculous but plausible enough that I could see people actually read papers and developing a strong opinion on the matter.

@duel1971 : This issue may be my favorite so far. The story takes Peter out of NYC and down to Florida on J Jonah Jameson’s dime to get pictures of the Lizard. This leads to Peter and Jameson being traveling partners, a concept I would happily read a full-length story about but which is only touched upon briefly here.

Curtis Connors has one of the most well-realized supervillain origins we’ve seen yet in ASM. The tragic nature of the character feels iconic: the loss of an arm motivates him to recklessly experiment on himself and leads to a complete physical transformation that renders him a threat to his beloved family and, as the issue draws on, civilization itself. (Or at least Florida.) In addition, lizards being a natural predator of spiders makes the Lizard’s ability to physically outmaneuver and outmatch Spider-Man feel ordained by nature.

Some parts of the story feel a little clunky – in particular, I’m not sure what a serum that turned a man into a lizard would do to actual lizards. The story doesn’t seem to have a firm idea either, but apparently it would be very bad. I appreciated the attempt to raise the stakes, but found Curtis’s alienation from and eventual reconciliation with his family to be much more compelling.

[the-three-pure-souls]

Do you have any headcanons for J.D/Vandal? If so, what are they?

Thank you so much for asking about him! :D He's one of my favorites! I have a bunch of little hcs for him so I had to pick which ones I wanted to put here ^^' Sorry it took me so long to actually write them ^^' I love this silly little guy and I, uh, made them much longer than the previous ones for Stumbler and Wulf, and accidently made them depressing and also mini shortish stories for some reason ;w; Maybe I'll turn the second one into an actual fanfic one shot! ^^ Tw for the second and third one, as the second one is related to Connor. The third one, albeit the shortest is about his trauma from his time in the Studiogrounds lab. ;w; I'm still figuring out the colors I'm gonna use for Vandal and Husk, but for now I think I'll use blue for both J.D and Stumbler and I'll use orange for Husk!

Feel free to ask about my other hcs too!!! :D I don't really have very many for characters like Husk atm but I do have quite a few for some of the other characters like Rex! ^^ Now onto the boy:

J.D/Vandal

J.D doesn't actually have a name for himself, simply going by whatever people start calling him next. People start calling him 'the Studiogrounds Vandal' when he starts writing stuff on the walls around Studiogrounds to try to get the truth out there? That's his name then. Sounds pretty ominous so he's sure they won't mind him just simply shortening it to 'Vandal'! He's on the loose and people start calling him 'John Doe'? Well, he might as well have some fun with this one! It probably stems from his strange relationship with his own identity, who he is. For all his life he's been dehumanized, treated like an object, an animal.  It felt so weird to him, the first time someone used both He and It to refer to him. It may have felt weird to it..but it also felt right somehow. This got him to start thinking about things.. For so long he was simply a scientific mishap..a mistake. Some thing Broadside used to experiment on before he and his twin, Husk, split. Something which still haunts him to this day.. Maybe, though..he can almost be..a..person? He might not be a human per say, but he can act like one! Right..?  This was how he discovered he enjoys painting. Art. Both that and recording videos, editing them! Despite this though, he still has a lot of issues involving around who he is. Maybe that can change one day.

He only showed up on the island some while ago, and when I mean show up, he just..appeared. No boat. Nothing for him to have come from the water. He also acted like the island was his home. To say this freaked out the wolves is an understatement. This random..creature just showed up one day who very much acted not similar at all to any being any of the wolves had ever seen before. He walks just like the characters from the various Broadside cartoons that they have in the theater. It was uncanny. Wulf and Stumbler who had learned of Layer 3 before this had their suspicions of what he was. Though, as long as he didn't harm anyone, the wolves were alright with him staying there. That being said, they didn't really warm up to him either. J.D should be used to this! It's been alone it's whole life! ..Well..no..no, that isn't true. There once was a time..he did have someone else..and before that he had Husk, his twin! But still..even despite the pain he already is in..why does it hurt so much that Chief Wulf in particular is avoiding him too..? Why did he remind it so much..of..him..? It hurts to think of back then. It hurts. It hurts. He doesn’t want that, it doesn’t want to hurt. Back then he finally had a friend..why did Husk..? What did Husk say to him that day..? He tries not to think. Think about the body on the ground. Think about him standing on the balcony. Think about how he didn't say goodbye.. The world is a blur now, everything a blend of colors..black tar going down his face. Ha..ha..he really is the worse half, isn’t he..? No matter how much he wants too..and no matter how much he meant to it..He couldn’t save Connor..

Medical and lab supplies along with closed dark spaces that aren't the Stitchcaves bring back memories he’d rather forget. If he’s trapped in a room he can’t get out of, suddenly the room feels too tight he suddenly can't breathe and the next thing knows, he's huddled in a corner whimpering uncontrollably. He isn’t able to stop shaking when that happens. In that place they felt so much desperation and helplessness, terror and pain. He doesn't want to go there again. He would rather die than go back to that hell again.

[elvesandlanterns]

Ghost Helpline Part 12

Zatanna had told Batman her misgivings about the demon girl. Her aura made Zatanna feel small, and dirty. As if she was covered in a layer of dust she could never scrub off.

Her eyes, Zatanna had never seen a demon with golden eyes before. Red and blue, even green but gold? Gold felt like an omen.

The girl reeked of death magic. It was brutally strong. It reminded her when Batman had contacted her about the Lazarus Pit. His expression when she told Batman spoke volumes.

And what the girl got in payment spoke even louder.

Zatanna’s father always had warned her demons were evil.

—- —- —-

Black Canary was busy strangling her husband as Batman went over the minutes.

“Our cameras were unable to pick up much of anything Batman, sorry.”

“It’s fine I remember the demons explanation well enough. First-“

“I CANNOT Believe you could be so stupid! Oliver ! What were you thinking!”

“Sorry sorry!”

Superman pulled a grim smile, “Canary please tell some sense into the man later. If this has taught us anything is that we need to be more prepared.”

“Right we will talk about this later Oliver,” Canary released her husband onto their seat, fuming and lovingly worried.

The green archer picked him self up and turned to the blond magician currently drinking himself to death, “Hey what do you think was up with Konstelacio? Poor girl wasn’t looking too hot.”

Dinha will always admire her husbands caring nature but god sometimes she just wanted to shake him.

Barry released a sigh, “So it want just me then! She really didn’t look to good! She was even acting differently! Want if she hurt? Or in trouble?”

“Bear calm.”

John shuffled threw a stack of paper on Vampire Fog. Bloody hell, for the price of this information the kid really hadn’t asked for much. But the rest of them weren’t going to see it that way.

“She’s -“

“Are you serious? Are you lot seriously worrying about a demon? After what just happened!” Zatanna really couldn’t understand these guys sometimes it was sweet but also incredibly naïve.

“Hey now it was my choice okay I signed the contract with her. We need this cure, ten hours of my life isn’t much in comparison! And I know that so can all of you just stop!” Oliver could understand why they were upset he could. But why couldn’t the see that the girl had cut them some slack… again! In a room of self sacrificing idiot it wouldn’t have been hard to sell her an entire life. Or if her interest in Connor was any indication an entire soul.

“Everyone just hold your bloody horses okay! She’s probably fine looks like she’s got a bit of teleportation sickness that’s all, a magical equivalent of dehydration really. Some rest and food and she’ll be right as rain in no time.”

John said as he fumbled around for their copy of the contract, which was another thing demons typically didn’t let you keep a copy.

Barry vibrated in his seat. Robin, Nightwing, Kid Flash and Superboy (Jon) walked into the meeting. Barry couldn’t concentrate ‘teleportation sickness’, was she teleporting too much? Were … were they hurting her by summoning her? ‘Rest and food’? Was she not resting ? Not eating? What do demons eat? Barry felt his best friend put a hand on his shoulder, and welcome the boys. Right they could talk about this later…. may be Diana would understand.

“Fucking hell,” John was internally screaming as he looked over the contract, “Well then Arrow looks like your contract is air tight- however there is one vague loophole. And a kind one at that.”

Canary shot up in her seat, “What is it?”

John continued, “In the case that contractee cannot fulfill this request another may do so but only at the acceptance of both parties.”

The contract went on for several more pages, goddamn what nutter even wrote this shit?

(Ghost Writer did and made Konstelacio carry around several with her at all times.)

“Wait wait wait,” Wally zipped out, “What happened ? What contract?”

Dinha was too upset for this, nodding to Diana before Oliver opened his mouth to down play the whole thing.

“Well what happened is-“

—- —- —-

// Diana wanted to give the girl the benefit of the doubt, she wanted to get to know her. To hear stories of Pandora and make a new sister. So when Diana saw Konstelacio’s entrance she was worried, “What do you want as payment? I’m sure we can work something out.” Smile Diana don’t scare her, she looks hurt.

Konstelacio looked about the room, Diana hid a smile she really hadn’t thought this threw. Well it was alright, Diana tapped absent mindedly on her sword maybe she could convince a trade for sword lesson? A trip to paradise island? May be Hal was right and they should offer a pet ?

The demons eyes flicked between Flash and Green Arrow. Left, right, left, right, left, left, left. “Him,” she pointed at the archer, “I want him.”

The Amazonian got into a defensive stance. No one was taking her friend.

“No!” “No way!” “Arrow no!” “Stop!”

“Hold on hold on now,” John approached the circle, “You can’t expect us to hand over one of our own. You can find someone else to eat.”

“I don’t want to eat him!”

“You want his soul then?”

“Not really I just want him, I try not to dabble in souls too much. It’s too much work.”

“Too much work? Then what would you need a person for ? Humans are really boring you know, lots of work and needy!”

The demon pouted, “I don’t care I want him!”

John pat Oliver on the back as he nodded to Diana mouthing “play along”.

“Oh well I guess I tried, oh well GA say your goodbyes! I’m sure your wife will miss you very much old friend.” He shook his head sadly, “We will have to call your son. Well then girl how would you like to-“

“WAIT!” Konstelacio wobbled, “You’re married.”

Dinha rushed to Oliver’s side as if to shield him, “Yes he is.”

Oliver picked up on the act, “Yes here she is my better half.”

A look ran across the child’s face, “Well then I can’t have you then.” She stared to breathe a little harder.

“What about me?”

“Superboy!”

“If you don’t care about souls then it shouldn’t matter that I am a clone and I’m not married.”

Hera Conner no! What is he-

“Who said that!!!” The demons face began to shift in color, anger steaming out of every pore.

“What?”

“Who said that you don’t have a soul because you’re a clone? You have one! You have one I see it!” She begun to clench her hands into the skirt of her dress, “Where you like it or not, clone or no clone, Superboy you were meant to be here.”

“Oh I -“

“Forget it. I don’t want you anyway. I need the archer,” she begun to pace the inside of the circle, “But I can’t break up a set!”

She turned to face them, “Ten I want ten hours of your life.”

“Deal.” //

—- —- —-

While the boys sat and digest what they just heard, Constantine finished reading over the cures recipe.

“Bloody hell are you kidding me it’s an energy potion!”

“What’s an energy potion?”

“The cure Z the cure to fucking Vampires Fog is fucking magic caffeine!! Maybe even real caffeine I dunno I’m not a chemist!”

Zatanna took the offending papers glancing over them. She stopped at some papers that were bound together the first page titled like a story book, “Hunting the Sun”.

“What’s this?”

“That is our historical insight to the disease, or at least some of it. No doubt Konstelacio has a better understanding on everything.” And more than likely has already chosen what side she’s on.

Nightwing stepped up to look at the little booklet with Zatanna, “So what is it what’s the story on Vampires Fog? I assume this might lead us to what caused the out break?”

Clark coughed as he stole a look at Bruce. The Bat was updating the files on the disease, he had an idea and as Clark recounted the explanation Konstelacio had given them he hoped that they were both wrong.

—- —- —-

// Clark watched as Oliver signed an agreement that would lead to an early grave, for being Superman he felt both powerless and grateful.

“Alright so first off Vampire Fog was not a disease released from Pandora’s box. The sickness was man made to eradicate their enemies.

The illness is meant to cause the infected to move and think erratically. Leading them to ether kill them selves or kill each other. If anyone survived this stage the next stage would put them to sleep rendering them defenseless.

One side says Vampires made it to level a kingdom in the aftermath of a botched marriage. Some sort of petty revenge.

Another side says the humans made it. The king was a zealot that refused to marry off his daughter to a kingdom of monsters. So when the wedding day came, the humans infected the whole city.”

After that the conversation had devolved and slowed. Batman didn’t ask any questions it was worrying, when was the last time he slept?

—- —- —-

“What the Boy Scout said, it’s a bloody sodding mess.”

Damian stopped to think about this politically, he stopped to think over all of this not like a Wayne but like an Al Ghul. It didn’t sit right with him, the occurrence of this disease and new information way too much of a coincidence. Someone must have planned it on purpose.

“So we have two completely different stories of origin so what ? We got the cure what does it matter whether the humans or the vampires made the disease?”

Diana fixed the young super with a motherly look, “Knowing about the past can help us protect the future. For example know we know that ether way the illness is something consciously made. Which means someone must have made it and released it on purpose.”

“Right now we just need to figure out why.”

“Tt- isn’t it obvious the vampire scum are behind this if humans are the only ones getting sick?”

Boston, visible thanks to John, stepped in,

”Actually a lot of magical creatures have been infected too! They are just a lot better at hiding it. Especially in the larger cities, word is a whole gaggle of vampires died not to long ago from it.”

Zatanna nodded her head, “It would explain why some creatures have been causing havoc in broad daylight- uh - In front of everyone. Magical creatures usually prefer to keep hidden. But if they were sick and could help it. They would rampage regardless of wether regular humans could see them or not.”

Hal thought about the hundreds of times he had to play mediator over the years. He thought of all the aliens and everything they would do to win. God he hated politics, “so ether a group of humans or vampires did this in order to play the blame game. The human group could easy point at magical creatures and blame them for being out of control monsters. Or vampires could be making everyone sick in order to blame the sickness on humans while also looking like the victim.”

The league talked over political moves as they passed the little booklet around. Batman had sent the magians out to gather information and Boston had come back with a lot of it.

The book finally made its way to Green Arrow, he flipped the pages and stopped at the drawing of a castle. It was an old European style with only two distinctive traits. A tower with circle windows and a circle on the entrance grounds covered in swirls.

// “My home! My castle! My kingdom ! Everything’s changed.”//

After the “fight” with the dragon, Oliver had done some detective work of his own. He needed to know more about this ghost and had found almost nothing. But looking at this drawing, he recognized that castle.

The archer looked up at Batman, his shoulders were hunched taking in and writing down every piece of information he heard. His face was passive and he didn’t even bother to look at his sons. Oliver thought about Batman’s distrust of Konstelacio and in turn Captain Marvel. He thought about what he had heard about the two leaguers fight, swallowed and decided to keep his mouth shut.

Batman didn’t need to know.

[cometomecosette]

Review: Les Misérables, US National Tour, Orpheum Theatre, San Francisco (July 15, 2023) (long)

This review is very late, but better late than never.

This was my first time seeing Les Mis live onstage since 2018. While YouTube has kept me well supplied with performances in the meantime, I was overjoyed to finally see it live again.

The production, of course, is still Laurence Connor and James Powell's "25th Anniversary" production that premiered in 2009, and which is now the official "replica" production all over the world. My views on it are still the same: it can't hold a candle (or a silver candlestick) to the original Trevor Nunn/John Caird production, but it's still effective, still handsome and atmospheric, and still a good, solid way to experience the musical.

I did notice some changes from when I last saw the show, however:

*Once again, I noticed that a few costumes have been redesigned. The convicts' uniforms now feature historically accurate red smocks. Fantine's factory dress has been redesigned yet again (not to my liking – I preferred the solid turquoise dress from the previous tour). Mme. Thénardier now wears a red bodice at the inn. Éponine no longer wears her overcoat before Act II. Both Thénardiers' "Beggars at the Feast" costumes have also been slightly altered: her skirt is now trimmed with a pattern of ruffles instead of feathers, and his trousers are slightly less poofy (both improvements, IMHO – the costumes are still gaudy, but not cartoonish anymore). And in the final scene, Éponine's spirit now wears a floor-length version of her overcoat, giving her a subtly more "angelic" look, much like the train added to Fantine's nightgown.

*There seemed to be more spoken ad-libs from the cast than I remember from past performances. Not to the extent of, say, the 2014 North Shore Music Theatre production, but notable. For example, this exchange between the Thénardiers just before "Master of the House": Thénardier – What time is it? Mme. T. – Time to get to work! Thénardier – There she is! My daily reminder that you can be happy, or you can be married!

*The "Waltz of Treachery" gave comic business to Young Cosette, of all people! On "That would quite fit the bill..." the Thénardiers picked her up and held her horizontally, stiff as a board, and then on "...if she hadn't so often been ill," she dramatically went limp. It seemed as if they had trained her to play sick in this way, presumably to earn charity from rich travelers. I didn't care for it, though: Young Cosette isn't a character who lends herself to slapstick comedy.

*Grantaire didn't scream "No!" when Gavroche was killed. Instead the whole barricade went deathly silent, as they used to in the old days of the classic Nunn/Caird production. I'm not sure if this was a change in direction or just an acting choice, but I'm assuming the former, because every past Grantaire I've seen or heard in the Connor/Powell production has done the "No!"

*The gag from the previous tour of Mme. Thénardier stuffing her face with cake in the wedding scene is gone. Just as well: it was goofy slapstick at best and fatphobic at worst.

*In "Beggars at the Feast," instead of "This one's a queer, but what can you do?" Thénardier sang "This one's a queer. I might try it too!" then grabbed the man and "romantically" dipped him.

One thing I definitely like about the current tour is the commitment to diverse casting, which wasn't seen nearly as much in the classic Nunn/Caird production until its last few years. In this particular performance, Jean Valjean, Fantine, Marius, Éponine, Cosette (both older and young), and Gavroche were all people of color.

But of course, diverse casting would mean little if the performers didn't give good quality performances. Fortunately they all did. Some performances I liked better than others, but there was no denying how talented the whole cast was.

Randy Jeter (Jean Valjean u/s)

How ridiculous it is that in the musical's 37 years of existence, this man is only the third black actor to play Jean Valjean in an official Cameron Mackintosh production! While I was a little disappointed at first not to see Nick Cartell again, I'm very glad now that I saw Randy. His voice was rich, clear, and alternately powerful and sweet: excellently suited to the music. And he did full justice to Valjean's journey, with all its transformations and wide range of emotions, making every one of the believable. My only reservation about his performance was that physically, he was a little bit youthful and slight for the role. I hope that either in this tour or in future productions, more people get a chance to see his Valjean.

Preston Truman Boyd (Javert)

One of the best of the last several Javerts I've seen live. He was a solid, imposing stage presence, who sang with a rich, handsome baritone voice with a bite to it that almost recalled Philip Quast, and was an appropriately inexorable force of the law until he was ultimately broken. I was relieved that he wasn't too aggressive or neurotic, but gave a traditional, hard and stolid characterization.

Haley Dortch (Fantine)

A lovely and passionate Fantine, with a beautiful, powerful voice. Past Fantines whom I've seen in the Connor/Powell production have tended to be slightly too delicate and passive for my taste, so I was glad to see her bring a good amount of fire to the role.

Matt Crowle (Thénardier)

A talented, enthusiastic performer, but not quite ideal for this role. Besides seeming slightly youthful for the part (not uncommon), he was a flamboyant comic Thénardier, without the edge of nastiness or realism that other actors bring. Still, as I discovered from an interview, he's read the novel, and he did do a good job of creating a ferret-like stage presence and a "scratchy, vermin-like voice" (in his own words). I've seen better, but he was fine.

Christina Rose Hall (Madame Thénardier)

A decent Mme. T., but like her onstage husband, she wasn't as nasty as she could have been. This might have been intentional on her part, though: she often seemed as if she was trying to play a more sympathetic, comically put-upon Thénardiess. But to make that portrayal fully work, I think her husband should have been more of a domineering emotional bully than Matt's Thénardier was. Overall she was good, but both Thénardiers needed more of an edge.

Christine Heesun Hwang (Éponine)

A good Éponine whom I'd like to see again sometime. Her voice was rich and powerful, and while she wasn't particularly wild or gritty, she brought good, solid toughness to the role that I like to see, as well as plenty of feeling. Her "On My Own" went beyond mere pining into desperation, as if she were on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and "A Little Fall of Rain" was beautifully gentle and tender.

Christopher James Tamayo (Marius u/s)

I liked him very much. His voice was a warm, rich baritenor, which I prefer to the thin, high tenors of so many recent Marii. His characterization was excellent too: gentlemanly and dignified, yet youthful, innocent, and tender, and believable in all his many emotions. He deserves to be the regular Marius, not just an understudy, either in this tour someday or in a future production.

Devin Archer (Enjolras)

Until after the show, I had forgotten that I saw him as Marius in a regional production back in 2015. He's definitely grown up nicely from a Marius into an Enjolras. While too "human" and "manly" to be Hugo's "marble lover of liberty," he was an appropriately strong, dignified, courageous leader, staunchly dedicated to the cause, yet a caring friend too, with a reserved yet commanding stage presence and a handsome, powerful voice to match.

Addie Morales (Cosette)

Good, but not a favorite. Her voice was light, pure, and slightly thin, but pretty. Acting-wise, she was a very lively, bubbly Cosette, often giggly in Act I, and an angry "rebellious teen" toward Valjean (though still with all-important moments of affection). I used to favor that characterization because it made Cosette "stronger," but now I have mixed feelings about it, because it's not really true to her upbringing or to the novel. Still, as a whole, she was good.

Ciaran Bowling (Grantaire u/s)

In a US tour performance, I wasn't expecting to see a British veteran of the London production who also had a minor role in the 2012 film! But he was a welcome presence: appropriately funny and boisterous in "Red and Black," angry and despairing in "Drink With Me," and touching in his reconciliation with Enjolras and his death.

(Though I must admit, I'm not the biggest fan of the current staging of Grantaire's "Drink With Me" solo, where he goes to center stage, sings the solo angrily and aggressively, and then pushes Enjolras away when the latter tries to talk to him. It annoys me that every replica-production Grantaire now performs it that way. I miss the variety from the old days, when individual actors and resident directors were allowed to do what they liked with that moment and bring all sorts of different emotions and nuances to it.)

Milo Maharlika (Gavroche)

An excellent, lively, likable young presence.

(I do like the fact that in the current staging, Gavroche is everyone's emotional support at the barricade, comforting both Marius after Éponine's death and Grantaire in "Drink With Me.")

Vivian Atencio (Young Cosette)

An appropriately sweet little girl.

The ensemble was excellent all around.

Going to see this performance was such a wonderful experience. It would have been a thrill no matter what, because I've been waiting five years to see the show in person again, but the good performance quality made it truly shine. I hope that within the next few months, while the show is still in California – most likely when it comes to San José in October – I can see it again.

[wallfloweresque]

[ … ] ❀ you’re not from around here , are you? i figured because you totally just missed { ARCHARA ‘ARCHIE’ SOMSRI } walking by. don’t tell me you don’t know who { HE/HIM } is? they kind of look like { APO NATTAWIN } and i could be wrong but i think that they might be { 33 } years old right now. they’ve been living in palmview for the last { 2 YEARS }.and i don’t know if anyone has ever told them this before but they kind of remind me of { JACKSON AVERY } from { GREY’S ANATOMY }. if you stick around the town long enough you might catch them in action working at { SEAGLASS HEIGHTS HOSPITAL } as a { EMERGENCY MEDICINE DOCTOR }. you see this town isn’t really that big of a place, some folks like to call them the { THE ICARIAN } of palmview! they took a liking to the name too after a while, go figure. oh crap, they must have heard me yapping. they’re coming this way. i got to warn you though, rumor has it they can pretty { ARROGANT } at times. i wouldn’t take it too seriously though, from the times i’ve spoken to them they seemed pretty { PASSIONATE } to me. we see each other all the time since they live in that { THREE ROOMS } apartment beside me over in { OCEAN’S EDGE }. i better leave you to it. it was nice meeting you!

about + headcanons:

archara somsri was born and raised in palmview, fl, the eldest child of two. for the majority of his life archie was something of a golden boy -- he was smart, driven, and maybe a little lucky. he did well in school, and had the drive to continue. so, it was almost no surprise when archie announced that he'd passed the MCAT and was actively applying for medical school. it was no surprised when he was accepted and then years later, graduated. it was no surprised when he was matched to Johns Hopkins University Hospital for his residency. so far, his life had worked like it was going according to a script.

in continuing the script, archie became engaged. he'd grown up watching love thrive around him and wanted that for himself. the first wrinkle in the plan occurred, though, just a few weeks before his wedding. it should've been easy -- say a few words, marry the love of his life, live happily ever after. the trouble, though, was that archie wasn't sure that his fiance was the great love story of his life, a fact that was reinforced when he met cillian connor. meeting kez turned archie's life upside down, for better or worse, and for the first time in his life, the script didn't matter.

archie and kez ran away and, for a while, life was good. they were soon engaged and it seemed as if things were as close to perfect as they could be, but perfection very rarely lasts, as archie would learn.

it's been two years since kez left him without much more than a note. a note that was hardly an explanation.

archie decided to return home to palmview. he left his position in maryland and accepted a position in the emergency department of seaglass heights hospital.

it feels like he's still licking his wounds, existing in something of a fog, and the once golden boy has learned that being on top of a pedestal leaves a long way down to fall.

archie keeps the ring in a small wooden box on his dresser. he likes knowing that it's there, knowing how special it was to kez, and his sentimental heart can't bear the idea of getting rid of it even if looking at hurts him. so this feels like the best of both worlds.

archie only allows folks to call him archie after they've learned his actual name. he refuses to allow himself to be anglocized.

wanted connections:

friends (he's been here forever so childhood friends, etc)

enemies (for some reason or the other, they just don't get along)

the person he was previously engaged to, maybe?

someone he sees frequently in the ER

a mentor

any and everything

[sw33t-oubliette]

real normal about how new albion is about trying to play god (annabelle's whole thing with jasper, john's whole thing, connor's whole thing (connor's less playing god but theres still something there i think)) but the narrator always reminds the audience theyre just characers in some way ("we bid adieu to our players and of course to you" , most apparent in radio hour with lloyd's whole thing . theres not really a narrator in analogue but if you give me enough time i can find something thats adjacent to that)

[richie-shitlips]

FOR THE FABABOI ASKS (sorry theresa so many you don’t have to answer them all)

church

jet pack blues

where did the party go

west coast smoker

golden

tell that mick

tell that mick he just made my list of things to do today: breakup songs or anthems?

both. both? both is good.

golden: do you prefer fall out boy’s upbeat songs or the more emotional ones?

ough um. also both i think. upbeat ones are all bops and so fun to sing along to but oof the emotional ones always remind me of characters and give me writing ideasssss

west coast smoker: favourite 80s band?

QUEEN!!!

where did the party go: bass lines or guitar solos?

bass lines. they scratch my brain good + i get sad when i can't play cool guitar solos on my tiny little acoustic so the bass lines are more fun to listen to. i like when you can feel them in your soul

jet pack blues: which was your favourite fall out boy era?

hmm. i like their current smfs era, cause they're happy and healing, but music-wise has gotta be folie <3

church: what do you associate with fall out boy?

ohhhh so much. what i can think of off the top of my head:

- protests. a lot of their songs could be used to rally a group of people i think

- those little heart candy things

- kevin price from the book of mormon musical

- trucker hats (i <3 bingo)

- my friendship with you <3

- getting so excited i feel nauseous

- john green books

- growing up

- the color blue

- summer

(btw. church reminds me of kevin price and connor mckinley. also grace chasity. religion + sexual themes are always a fun combo)

[kiss-my-freckle]

Full Episode Commentary

1x10: The Turning Point

A great title for this episode. It means to change direction. They're shifting from Emily's talisman to John Gilbert's journal. They have to open that tomb because it's the only way for Damon to move forward. He's a metaphoric tomb vampire. What Damon goes through with Katherine and the tomb and even her return is something I fully understand, so I have no problem addressing the fact that as pissed as Katherine is with Damon, he needed to get it open. It's not fair that she gets to fake her death and string him along for 145 years. It's time to cut those strings. There's a reason I have more respect for Isobel.

I honestly feel bad for Logan because he just patched things up with Jenna, now he has to suffer the insanity of vampirism. He tries to get her to invite him in the house. Elena is thrilled to see Jeremy sketching. She hasn't seen him like this since their parents died. She basically got her brother back. The reason she decided Damon was worth saving. A shame it would've been for Stefan to kill Damon, given what he sees in the series finale. This is not a redemption story for Damon, but a resurrection story. That's why he's given the cure.

Stefan wants to live as far away from Damon as possible. This is due to the fact that Stefan wants to live a human life. He wants to feel human. He doesnt want Damon reminding him that he's a vampire, reminding him that he should feel guilty because he's the one that turned him into a vampire, so he doesn't want Damon in his life. "Seriously, where are you going? Because we are not staying in this town." It's insane to me that Stefan still believes he has the right to dictate Damon's life. It's up to Damon whether or not he stays in Mystic Falls, not Stefan. Comments like this only showcase Stefan's need to control other people. Liz shows up at their door because Logan has been dropping bodies. Logan completely voided Damon's reason for killing Lexi, and Stefan gets to overhear Damon talk about his reason for killing her. "I'm sorry. I don't understand. I thought we solved that problem when I staked the blond one."

It's career night at the hight school. They're hanging banners for the event. "The Promise of Your Future." Tyler's response to seeing Matt and Caroline together is hilarious. "Maybe it's for the best. I mean, what kind of future could you have had with him even if he stayed?" The future banner falls on Bonnie and Elena while they discuss her and Stefan. Here's your sign lol.

One of the differences between Stefan and Elena is that Stefan never stops assuming things about Damon. Elena eventually stops because she knows better. This scene is hilarious to me because even after Damon just killed his best friend to fix their problem with the council, Stefan assumes he actually turned someone into a vampire. Stefan admits this when he speaks to Elena about it. Because it's an idiotic assumption, I very much enjoy Damon's response. "Get off of me. A... don't touch me. B... if I had, I wouldn't have been so obvious about it. C... There's another vampire in town." Stefan is insanely controlling. He acts like he has to stay in town as if he's the only one who can protect Mystic Falls from a vampire. "No, I can't leave now and you know that." He has absolutely no reason to stay in town when they have a vampire killing council, he's using Logan as an excuse to stay, period. You see Damon pull this same thing with Connor in 4x3. Stefan stops in to warn Elena about the vampire, which was the only thing he needed to do before leaving town. Liz already knew, so it's not like Stefan had to stay in town to take care of it. Damon uses Caroline to help him track Logan with the vampire compass. Damon heads into some kind of warehouse where Logan sneaks up with wooden bullets and shoots him to his knees.

Damon is hellbent on finding out who turned Logan because he knows Logan was part of the council. He knows Logan wasn't turned by just any vampire. "I keep killing and I like it. I'm conflicted." Damon suffers the same dilemma because Katherine taught him how to kill and how to enjoy it. Logan lacks the teachings that Katherine gave Damon, so he's learning as he goes, but I consider them alike in certain ways.

I consider this Damon's "future" banner, and meant to appear as it does because he wasn't able to attend. Liz and Mr. Lockwood talk about their vampire problem. Caroline walks out because she catches Matt and Elena chatting it up. They're actually flirting with each other when Stefan walks in. They cut back to Damon and Logan, both calm enough to talk to each other in a civil manner. "Well, you probably love her. Anything you felt before will be magnified now. You're gonna have to learn how to control that." Damon basically orders Logan to keep his emotions under control because he just fixed his problem with the council. This demand makes me question whether or not Damon was actually planning to let him live. As soon as Logan questions Damon about how they walk in the sun, Damon turns his daylight ring to hide it. This is when Damon first hears about the founding family journals. I love these scenes with Damon and Logan. Not only because of their conversation, but because of the lighting and the feel of their environment. It's like a two-person vampire meeting of the minds lol.

Stefan claims that he wanted to be a doctor, but couldn't because of his bloodlust, yet they had him working as an emt. He explains what life is like as a vampire. Every few years, he'd have to move on before anyone noticed he wasn't getting older, and he always left because he didn't have a choice. Elena's response is comical. Stefan basically described the kind of life Elena doesn't want to have. She's the kind of person that wants to set up roots. Being with a vampire can't offer her that. Every time they get into these little chats about the future, she never truly considers her future with him because she knows the vampire life isn't what she wants. She's more about the "here and now" rather than the future with him. That's why she can make a comment like this, yet turn around and sleep with Stefan. She has the time to enjoy the here and now.

To put it bluntly, Elena can't be honest in her conversations about the future until she accepts the reality of what it means to be a vampire, and the very fact that a future with Stefan requires she sacrifice what she wants. Elena is hilarious, it's like she totally read my mind. "But please, if you're gonna leave, then just go." Stefan has absolutely no reason to still be in Mystic Falls. Logan is an excuse. He's only making it harder for her to say goodbye. Logan shows up at the event and confronts Stefan. It's one thing to confront Damon because he can handle a great deal of pain. Confronting Stefan is an entirely different matter because he's the stronger brother. Something both Logan and Mason are quick to understand.

"Ok, listen to me very carefully. Do not, under any circumstances, talk to him again. I'm serious, Jenna, like ever!" Elena's response in this scene with Jenna is every bit because of Damon. Because he warned her. There's a beauty in seeing Elena take that moment from 1x6 and use what Damon told her to protect someone she loves. That's ultimately what he wanted for her because he cares. Stefan contacts Damon by phone and tells him Logan is at the high school. If Damon had plans to let Logan live, they're gone because Logan chose to fill him with wooden bullets before he left. Damon wants to kill him.

"Broadcast journalism? You don't even read the paper." Liz and Caroline are so hilarious to me. For Caroline, it's not about reporting the news, it's about the attention she gets from reporting the news. She wants the attention Logan gets. That's why broadcast journalism works for her, and she fulfills this dream in season 7. Logan confronts Liz because she's the one who buried him. Mr. Lockwood is a real piece of work with his werewolf gene. The level of violence in their home must be insane. He pulls Tyler and Jeremy out in the parking lot to finish their fight. Alaric interrupts and hilariously threatens Mr. Lockwood when he's the mayor of Mystic Falls.

Logan abducts Caroline and threatens to turn her into a vampire. Total wrong move. Beautiful to watch Damon and Stefan pair up to save Caroline. Damon gives Liz their exact location before he deals with Logan. It's hilarious to me how desparate they are to figure out who turned Logan because they know it wasn't a new vampire. It was Anna. "I don't side with anyone. You pissed me off. I want you dead." Damon still demands to know the person who turned him, and Logan remains loyal af lol... he knows damn well who turned him.

Logan knows exactly what to say to Damon for the sake of his own survival. Another way into the tomb, so he's allowing Logan to walk. Damon is very quick on his feet. He's the kind of man you'd want in your corner in the midst of chaos. Not the strong brother, the smart brother. Strong only gets you so far. I love watching Tyler and Jeremy in this episode and in future episodes because they have these love triangle parallels with the two Salvatore brothers. Tyler and Jeremy basically try to befriend each other.

Stefan straight-up manipulates Elena. I say this, all-knowing they have a Delena parallel to these scenes in season 5. It's when Damon offers to drive Elena home. Because Stefan told her he was leaving town, he's playing on her desire for him to stay so that he has an excuse to stay because Logan is no longer an excuse he can use.

I feel it's important to note Stelena's face-touching scene because I've spoken about this topic many times. Stefan hides his vampirism, Damon hides his humanity. It's because Damon hides his humanity from Elena that you'll never see her touch Damon's vampire face. She embraces Damon's human side.

With Stefan and Elena, it's what they are rather than who they are. He's a vampire and she's human. With Damon, it's who they are rather than what they are. That's why there's focus to Stefan's daylight ring and Elena's vervain necklace, but you don't see that type of focus with Delena... Damon and Elena are beyond that.

See and feel the differene between Stelena and Delena. Understand why she touches Damon's face so often. lol... this scene between Alaric and Logan is fate stepping in. If not for Alaric killing Logan, not only would Damon and Elena not have gone to Atlanta together, but Noah would've gotten his hands on Elena. Alaric killing Logan is the only reason Damon leaves town to visit Bree. They pull this same fate in 3x22 when Alaric stakes Klaus... just thought I should point that out lol

Stefan and Elena after sex. "This room holds every memory that I've ever thought was important enough to hold on to." Not only the reason Damon trashes his room to get even, but the reason Stefan holds onto Katherine's photo. Denial is a bitch that way. Elena now sees what's important to Stefan. Something he should've told her before she slept with him. Hell, he should've told her the moment he admitted to being a vampire.

Katherine will remain an issue even into season 2 because Stefan can't stop lying about her. The final two scenes, showing the fate of Delena's trip to Atlanta. Pay mind because you see the same thing in 3x22, that's where Damon's flashback comes in. "Katherine...."

Elena runs into Noah and flips her car.

[otsukare-katsukare]

Please do!!

Well If You Insist!

(copied right out of the drafts <3) (long)

okay beatle roys. they don’t map perfectly at all, but if you absolutely HAD to, im sorry roman but you are george. yeah sure romey we know you’re a good songwriter you can have 2 on this album how’s about that? as smart as or maybe smarter than his siblings/bandmates but doesnt have a genius complex unlike them so is forced to play their games. including their mind games with each other. didn’t want to go on the roof; ended up on the roof. kendall is paul, ‘big brothering’ the little angry guy on the bus who he’ll always see as a little kid even though there’s like 2 years between them for christ’s sake. in terms of age seniority john might be the kendall equivalent but unfortunately paul was ACTUALLY an older brother and he brought that energy to the band, and the john/george alliance against paul reeks much more strongly of roman and shiv teaming up to peck their golden boy older sibling than anything george and paul had together against john. and to those who would say roman’s too much of a dick to be sweet peaceable george, he’s actually nicer okay cause he refused to sign the letter decrying kendall as a bipolar drug addict but george played slide guitar on how do you sleep quite happily.

on the subject of kendall, his depressive lows may seem more john but his manic highs? his big creative visions? his costumes (he got one for roman too)? his general addiction to the spotlight? his droopy eyes? his inability to have swag despite his charm and talents? the way his siblings close ranks against him when he tries to make a stand? the way he's a cog built to fit one machine and paul mccartney's state after the beatles broke up Actually im getting sad let's change the subject? looking for pussy like a fuckin techno gatsby? non zero chance of having done a collab with kanye west/wanted to do one? paul. he’s paul. 

but it’s tough because shiv is the least easy to pin down as her age and gender relations with the rest of the family put her the furthest from john, and she ends up being at best a combo of all three - the underestimated and undermined baby (george) the repressed thwarted leader failgirl (paul) and the hotheaded bastard who's smart but not as smart as she thinks she is (john). but that john role gets much more delectable when you have kendall as paul, or at least if you think of them as the core duo in some way - im thinking of that crushing final scene between them, like take 'I want a divorce' and multiply it by a hundred holy fuck. she respects him, but she needs to prove herself better than him constantly. she needs validation just the same as he does but she's determined to believe/put out that everything she does is entirely under her own steam and that other people are pawns to her. her relationships with logan and mattson remind me of john with authority figures he would latch onto in the hope that they'd fill the void left by his parents, before realising they were phonies trying to get something from him and angrily discarding them.

honestly actually while shiv is the hardest to map clearly john is also the hardest from the beatles end cause there's a lot going on there from childhood trauma that any one of the roys can relate to, and his brand of cruel wit fits them all to an extent as well - but this is the configuration i like the most. also her spouse broke up the band

of course connor maps onto ringo perfectly do i even need to explain it - actually i do cause people might just take that to mean i’m saying ringo was useless or ignored. no he was the older brother everyone loved and who loved everybody, who was an only child for most of his childhood and was so happy to get three brothers/siblings even though they happened to be the worst people alive.

there you have it. and logan. is allen klein (kendall dreams he is being hunted down by him as a dentist)

oh one more thing - kendall as paul is right because he's the only one who's a documented beatles FAN lol

[psychotrenny]

I've seen some people say that one aspect of Palestinian tactics is to instill fear into the settler population to encourage them to leave. To the extent that this is true I'm not sure but it reminds me of an approach many Indigenous peoples in Australia adopted while resisting European settlement. It was quite common for indigenous warriors to avoid direct confrontation with settlers and instead attack their crops, livestock and/or buildings. Many times they would even attempt to wound rather than kill any settlers they did encounter. This was in order to drive settlers away while through fear and attrition while minimising the chances of state retribution that wholesale massacres might incur.

These attacks were usually directed against the isolated farmsteads that cropped up in areas newly opened to white settlement. The ratio of physical to psychological devastation varied between specific instances. Attacks against crops were often timed to coincide with the harvest period in order to inflict the greatest difficulties onto settlers. Crops and livestock were often also targeted as a source of food for their people, which became especially important as encroaching white settlement destroyed their hunting grounds and conflict disrupted their normal routines of food production and land management. Horses were particularly favoured targets as even the warriors who didn't know how to ride knew how important they were to the whites and so seeked to deny them as an asset. Use of fire to modify the landscape and direct the movement of animals was ubiquitous among Indigenous Australian peoples and they often skillfully used it to destroy European property or deny them movement through certain areas. Other times attacks took on a more psychological focus, harassing and humiliating settlers in their homes and communities without lethal violence. Through various systems of smoke signals, messengers and tree markings these attacks were usually well co-ordinated. Often one smaller attack would act as a diversion for the main assault; such as drawing a main body of settlers away while their houses were ransacked and burned or alternatively keeping them locked up in their houses while livestock and crops were stolen or destroyed. Trickery and subterfuge were also commonly employed, such as using "friendly" aboriginals known to the whites in order to gain entry to fortified buildings or lure groups of settlers away. Some of the more successful examples of Indigenous Australians using raiding to drive off or delay European settlement include the resistance of the Jagera people to settlement in the Darling Downs region in the 1840s, the campaigns of the Milmenura people in the Coorong district in the same decade and the conflict of the Wiradjuri people resisting settlement in Central Western NSW in the 1820s.

If you're interested in learning more about Indigenous Australian resistance to European settlement some good books and articles include: A different mode of war? by Ray Kerkhove, The Australian Frontier Wars 1788-1838 by John Connor, Six Australian Battlefields by Al Grassby and Marji Hill, The Black Resistance by Fergus Robinson and Forgotten War by Henry Reynolds. I haven't personally read a lot of these books, just heard many good things about them from sources I trust well enough so I feel comfortable giving them a recommend.

To be honest I'm not all that read up on Australian history* but I have picked up a thing or two that I figured I might as well share since it seemed relevant. Now Australian Aboriginal resistance never stopped and it is still ongoing to this day, but it currently takes very different forms to that which I had been describing; with the sheer demographic advantage of settler society, resistance tactics were forced to adapt radically. Still, reading about the current resistance in Palestine did remind me a bit of some of the tactics that were once employed here so I figured it would be worth giving an overview. Despite the many differences across time and place, different conditions and circumstances, the fundamental violence of European Capitalist Settler Colonialism remains relatively unchanged. So you'll often seen similarities between the tactics of incredibly differing peoples as they are forced to fight a similar foe. I can only hope it's a foe that won't live to see the end of this century, and it certainly seems to be on the decline, but only time can tell just how long it'll hold on for. Until then colonised peoples all around the world will have no choice but to keep fighting, just as they have from the beginning

*like as important as it is to understand your history I just don't find it all that interesting compared to other parts of my world and so just find myself distracted reading up on them instead

[futuredaysbycan]

for the character asks: tserri, leorio and mike :)

sure thing!

Tserri:

My first impression ah he's That type of guy

My impression now nice, he likes Merzbow, Boredoms, Gerogerigegege, Coil, Throbbing Gristle, Whitehouse, Nurse with Wound, Einstürzende Neubauten, Brainbombs, Egor Letov, Death in June, Current 93, La Monte Young, Moondog, Lou Harrison, Henry Cowell, Luigi Russolo, Popol Vuh, Fishmans, Jean Jacques Perrey, Les Rallizes Dénudés, Rainbow Caroliner, Taj Mahal Travellers, Fushitsusha, Peter Brötzmann, John Cage, Scott Walker, Unwound, Dead, Frank Zappa, Morton Feldman, Captain Beefheart, Pharoah Sanders, Albert Ayler, Ornette Coleman, Alice Coltrane, Arnold Schoenberg, Pierre Boulez, György Ligeti, Karlheinz Stockhausen, Nang Nang, Thinking Fellers Union Local 282, Nara Leão, Basic Channel, Raymond Scott, Delia Derbyshire, Daphne Oram, Noah Howard, Terry Riley, Peter Sotos, Lula Côrtes e Zé Ramalho, Boyd Rice, Mahmoud Ahmed, Henry Flynt, Kazumoto Endo, David Tudor, Aporea, Half Japanese, Mega Banton, Secret Chiefs 3, Keiji Haino, Ramleh, Otomo Yoshihide, John Zorn, Joe Meek, Robbie Basho, Phil Spector, Faxed Head, Harry Partch, Wesley Willis, Fred Frith, The Residents, Sun Ra, Sun City Girls, Hans Krüsi, Royal Trux, Jandek, Yat-Kha, Loren Mazzacane Connors, Pärson Sound, The Dead C, Comus, Cromagnon, Eliane Radigue, Arthur Doyle, Shizuka, The Red Krayola, Henry Cow, Magma, Opus Avantra, Pan.Thy.Monium., Murmuüre, Ksiezyc, Gong, Cukor Bila Smert', cLOUDDEAD, Muslimgauze and Kaoru Abe

Favorite thing about that character his whole existence is another proof how well togashi knows people because tserri is THE villain of current era i know several dudes that are just like him (without like. the killings and crimes of course) twitter and reddit is like sprawling these guys

Least favorite thing

hed be into my gemini ass

Favorite line/scene

Leoš Janáček hanta hanta real

Favorite interaction that character has with another when theta shot him ♥️

A character that I wish that character would interact with more HE NEEDS TO INTERACT WITH SO MANY PEOPLE I NEED AS MANY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GUY REACTIONS anyway i have this comedy sketch in my mind about several ways chrollo could get his power in his little book he would be like yaaay meteor city xenophobia yea i agree noooo way you know nen can you show me :o noooo way can you splain me that in more details nooooo way anyway wanna check my nen catalogue

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character i do count people from Patrician Music Chartposting the facebook group as characters and he is several of them. hence why my tserri playlist is 100% canon.

A headcanon about that character him and halkenburg bonded over wanna be deep music i see hankenburg running to tserri like you have to hear this!!!!! and gives him a copy of kid a by radiohead (its year 2001 in hxh)

A song that reminds of that character every song from obey by brainbombs, i mean even the cover is a pic of that serial killer who made stuff like belt from nipples

An unpopular opinion about that character he is sadly and tragically very funny