#it really still immobilizes me sometimes

[transjohnnycash]

Ah. The grieving

[mymarifae]

sooooooo when i jokingly said to myself "haha did ruan mei play aeonic necromancy on tingyun's remains or something" i wasn't expecting that to literally be the case what the fuck

[dredshirtroberts]

well as it turns out, werewolf transformation is as painful as it looks.

in related news, guess who has memory problems and remembered their hormonal cycle directly impacts their chronic pain issues. (hint: it's meeee)

[raitonsfw]

𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: Aizawa wasn't really the one to keep you tied up like one of his captives, his scarf only delicately wrapping your wrists every now and then– but when you just wouldn't keep still...

warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, fem!reader, tired!aizawa, bondage (aizawa's scarf), positions: missionary & riding, p in v intercourse, slight dirty talk & praising, mentions of cunnilingus, creampie, bit of frustration (reader squirms and he slips out), aizawa fucks reader after a mission basically (he's v blunt).

a/n: haven't thought about him for a minute so i took the liberty of watching a couple scenes of him in action and- yeah i'm still obsessed haha. wc: 600ish. v-day m.list | m.list

thirst count: 1

divider credit: @hitobaby & @firefly-graphics

Aizawa had you pinned– binded up in his scarf with his cock driving you up a wall. He was still in his pro hero get up, his goggles pushed up into his hair so he could see you properly and his hands tightened their grip on the scarf as he picked up his thrusts. You had your legs wide for him, trying desperately to keep up with his stamina, but the idea of his scarf wrapped around you made you squirm. 

You felt like you were one of the villains he’s captured, completely immobilized in a way that made you so fucking wet. Your pussy squelched every time he fucked into you, your legs shaking around him as you tried to wrap them around his waist– but you just couldn’t and ended up arching your back a little too much, causing him to slip out.

A sharp groan escaped him, his grip falling away from the restraints and you fell back onto the bed with an exasperated sigh. You wanted to be closer to him, but he made it difficult with his scarf. “Sho–” 

“I won’t say it again, Y/N.” You heard Aizawa say above you before flipping you both over, forcing you to straddle his waist. “Stay still this time.” 

Sometimes you needed to fuck the tiredness out of him– not this time though, his body was reeling for more of your dripping cunt and you were making it nearly impossible for him to get anywhere with you. Not with the way you squirmed at every little thing he did, your pussy so incredibly sensitive tonight that it made him huff in frustration. 

Maybe if you were in this position– hoisted on top of him, he could actually get somewhere.

His cock slipped back inside you with ease, your walls fluttering around him as you took him deep once more and a guttural moan was drawn from him as you sat down fully. “Good girl– stay like this for me... Let me do all the work.” 

He drew the scarf around you, binding your chest, waist, and arms together in order to lift you up more steadily. You pouted at him once he resituated himself, the cloth holding you hostage as he aimed to bounce you on his cock. 

And he sure fucking did, the first thrust sending you spiraling with ecstasy as he rammed into your sweet spot. God, he felt so much bigger this way– he was sooo deep in you, kissing your cervix everytime he fucked up into you with harsh pants falling from his lips. 

Looking down at him past the hazy pleasure, his hair splayed out against the pillow and his eyes were lidded with desperate aching. He looked so tired– but with the way he had you rocking your hips down onto him, you wouldn’t be able to tell otherwise. The stubble on his face had grown out considerably, plaguing you with thoughts of him between your legs; lapping at your entrance afterwards. Maybe you should ask him– your impending orgasm rushing up your spine as his scarf got tighter around you.

You watched his wrists curve around the scarf, pulling it taut and his muscles flexed as he held it in place. “S-Sho–” 

“Yeah?” 

“Clean me up afterwards?” You whined innocently before spasming around his cock, your eyes rolling back as you were pushed over the edge by the stutter of his hips. Aizawa groaned out as you clenched his cock harshly, his movements stilling as he came inside you from your dirty question.

“Cum on my tongue quickly now– I’m tired.” You knew it wasn’t going to be quick, his tongue had to caress every inch before he’s ever satisfied.

[jymwahuwu]

cw: non-consensual spanking, humiliation, hairbrush spanking, reader has hair

This took me hours😭💀💔... I just wanted an excuse to get spanked, thought about it for a long time and decided to write humiliation + spanking for arrogant reader. That's my favorite type, enjoy!

-

Capitano has his own standards for justice, morality, and honor. Punish others…in a special way. Doesn't sound ethical, does it? But what if there is a valid reason? Correct others and stop them from going further down the wrong path. Especially, you. You are young and energetic, have outstanding strength, and respect the Queen. The Queen cherishes and favors you for this reason, and bestows you with status. But- you always disrespected him, crossing your arms over your chest, mocking him. The other Fatui are shocked by your boldness.

Being spoiled. He doesn't want to argue with you at all. Just pat you on the head and leave. You looked even more annoyed, frowning. Damselette was amused and covered her mouth. She also added fuel to the fire by taking you and Dottore for afternoon tea, secretly gossiping about Capitano while the restaurant singer sang. You are filled with indignation. Dottore nodded in agreement, tapping notes on the table with his fingers and raising his lips at the same time. Capitano can take action immediately when facing an enemy, but for you… what should he do? He needs to think about it carefully. He didn't want to crush the Queen's hopes and burn out her remaining love and kindness.

And you are not a cruel enemy. You're just…too naive. Sometimes when he closes his eyes, your face will appear. You weren't so rude to him back then…

The turning point was that special mission. Capitano needs to work with you. You reluctantly responded, but you ignored his orders and were caught by the enemy. He had to get you back. Those enemies were reduced to ashes.

Capitano snapped at you. Past experience is the basis for you to underestimate him. You wanted to apologize, but you felt embarrassed. You met his gaze defiantly, but this time…no one was spoiling you anymore. He took off his gloves, then forcibly grabbed the glowing vision around your waist and threw it aside. "What are you doing! You scoundrel!" Scoundrel. You have to learn manners and respect from now on. The world was spinning, and the next second you were thrown into his lap, with a buzzing in your ears. The buttocks touch the cold air. He-he took off your clothes? "What do you want to do!? I will report you!"

An unexpected slap. Intense pain. Your pupils constricted and you clenched your hands on his pants, the muscles in your calves tensing. Spanking? How dare he spank you? You are an adult! You struggled, but Capitano's palms pressed against your waist. Just that is enough to render you completely immobile. Uninterrupted and brutal slaps landed on your buttocks, leaving traces of the slaps.

"Stop…ah…stop this!" Twenty, twenty-one, thirty. He alternates smacking you left and right, never sparing either side. It hurts so much. The curses faded into messy sobs and whimper.

Your tears were shining, and your hands were helplessly wiping away the tears, but you always endured the impact of those slaps and stopped yourself from begging for forgiveness. The Queen was right in telling you to listen to Capitano. You really can't resist him. "…I-I…you…bad guy…"

Then the slaps just… stopped like this. Your eyelashes with teardrops were still trembling, and you breathed a sigh of relief. Is the torture over? You didn't ask for mercy. Did you win? you win-

"Do you need a paddle?" the deep voice asked with authority. You are petrified. Paddle? Thick paddle? You shook your head and sniffled again, shame burning your cheeks. "Good, then apologize for your arrogance and rudeness."

You grit your teeth. "I'm not going to-" You're not going to lose.

"Um, use your hairbrush then." Capitano pulled open your bedside table and searched for it for a few seconds before finding it. He looked at you with some condescension and adjusted your position so that your swollen butt was facing upwards towards the ceiling. Hairbrush? You didn’t even know that a hairbrush has such uses…

The impact of a hairbrush is special. Screams left your throat, tears welling up in your eyes and you started kicking your legs to relieve the pain. Eight, nine, ten…fifteen. Especially since it was your hairbrush, the thing you used to brush your hair every morning, it added a layer of humiliation. You taste the regret and tears, how could there be such an evil thug like him who keeps spanking you!

"You get what you deserve…" he responded. "Maybe I should have done that from the beginning, when you first talked back to me."

"Apologise. Maybe I'll forgive you," he warned. "Or you get spanked every day. Your choice."

Eighteen, Nineteen-

Twenty.

There seemed to be no end to the punishment, and you burst into tears and broke down. "Sorry, I'm sorry for everything!"

The hairbrush threatened to drop again, but didn't. As always, Capitano never tortured any of his enemies who surrendered. He carefully lifted you up and placed you on his legs. You lowered your head, whimpering, and snuggled into his arms weakly, listening to the vivid heartbeat. His arms crossed your armpits, maintaining the hugging position.

You really didn’t want to admit it… you didn’t hate Capitano, you could even say you admired him. It's just that one day, you find out that he treats other members the same way, or even treats others better. He is always upright and courageous. You wonder if he'll react differently, if he'll look irritated…but then, you're just seeking his attention. Your acting skills deceived yourself.

And now are the consequences. You were actually humiliated, completely. Humiliated by the one who is always righteous.

"But if it's up to me…" You suggested to the Queen, but felt the warning gaze behind you and shuddered. "…I'm sorry, Your Majesty. Maybe I am not capable of such a task."

Tsaritsa narrowed her eyes, her icy eyes scanning you and Capitano back and forth, but her smile was as warm as the sunshine in winter. "You've grown a lot in just a few days. You two work well together."

"Yes, this is your Majesty's kindness." You bowed your head and complimented.

After leaving the palace, you snorted and crossed your arms, deliberately irritating him. "Don't think I'm afraid of you now. I just...oh, I remembered my date with Tartaglia. I'm going now, bye."

You trotted towards the orange-haired harbinger, and he greeted you with a smile and silly jokes. Capitano stares at you without saying a word.

[flickering-chandelier]

Second Chance

Pairing: Cassian x Reader

Summary: Reader and Cassian have been friends for centuries, but nobody knows that she’s in love with him. Eventually she meets her mate in the market, but when he breaks her heart, Cassian is there to pick up the pieces, and offer her a second chance at love.

Based on this request! 🩷

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 4.5k

Cassian snickered as he landed on top of you, effectively pinning you beneath him. 

You grunted, “Okay, you win. Get off.”

He cocked his head, grinning. “I don’t know, this is pretty comfy.”

“You’ve proven your point,” you groaned, your head throbbing from hitting it on the ground of the training ring on top of the House. You tried to wiggle out from under him, but it was no use. He was massive, and your body was rendered utterly immobile. 

After another torturous moment, Cassian stood up, offering you his hand. He hoisted you up to your feet and you groaned again. 

“What were you saying about being able to beat me one-on-one?” he smirked. 

You just scowled at him and his smile spread further. He clapped you on the back. You winced at the impact. “Go get some water.”

Normally you would say something snarky about following orders, but your head was still spinning a bit, so you did as you were told without argument. 

You must have looked pretty awful because after a few minutes, Cassian knelt in front of where you sat on the bench, his eyes searching yours. “You okay?”

Nodding as you gulped down more water, you mumbled, “Mmhmm.”

His brow furrowed as he gently felt the back of your head, feeling the growing bump there. “Shit,” he said. “I didn't mean to pin you down that hard. Sorry.”

You shrugged, smiling faintly at your friend. “I knew I couldn’t beat you. It’s my own fault.”

He lightly brushed the hair that had come out of your braid off your face. You pushed down the swell in your chest, as you always did. “I think it’s time for the cool down,” he said, his eyes raking your sweaty, tired body. 

Your eyes widened. “You, the legendary commander of the Illyrian armies, are going to cut training short because you knocked me on my ass?” 

“Only for you,” he winked, offering you his hand again. “Don’t tell anyone.”

You took it, and followed Cassian as he guided you through the stretches. 

This had been your routine for a while. You had been in Rhysand’s inner circle for the last few centuries, and had found your home and family with them. Pretty quickly, you knew you wanted to be useful for more than just your mind, so you had asked Cassian to train you. You had started out at the Illyrian camps, but the way the males there treated you was…unsettling, to say the least. And it made Cassian angrier than you had ever seen him. So now you trained on the top of the House, sometimes accompanied by others, but often it was just the two of you. 

Training with him nearly every day for centuries had brought the two of you very close together. He was definitely the best friend you had ever had. He was your favorite person in the world. The two of you talked about everything.

Well, almost everything.

Even after all this time, butterflies fluttered in your stomach as you watched him, how his muscles stretched and bulged, his brow furrowed in concentration, his tanned skin gleaming with sweat in the morning sun. 

You had been in love with him for a very, very long time.

Frankly, it sucked being in love with your best friend. Your best friend, who flirted shamelessly with nearly everybody, who had a body even the gods were surely jealous of. Who was so kind and good and brave that nobody could ever compare. 

Especially not you.

That was the main problem, really. Why you had never said anything. You knew you could never deserve him, no matter how long you lived. He was legendary. Literally. He was strong, fearless, and so, so kind. And not to harp on this too much but, that body. Compared to him, you were entirely insignificant and you always would be.

So, you suffered in silence. Loved him from afar. And waited for the Mother or the Cauldron or whoever it was that was in charge of your fate and your mate to get their act together.

“What’s running through that pretty head of yours?” Cassian said, glancing over at you.

You reigned in your scowl. Centuries of friendship made it extremely easy for him to read you like a book. “I’m debating whether I hate you for pinning me to the ground like it was nothing, or if I love you for cutting training short,” you said, breathless as you continued to follow him through the stretches. 

He smirked. “Oh, please. You know you love me.”

Rolling your eyes goodnaturedly you grumbled, “Yeah, I know.”

If only he knew. 

---

Inner circle meetings these days were about twenty percent important business, and eighty percent goofing off. 

You loved it.

Seated between Azriel and Amren, with Cassian across from you, you grinned as the warrior picked a fight with Amren.

Azriel and you exchanged amused glances, both knowing that Cassian had never won against Amren, and he certainly wouldn’t start today. 

After they had been squabbling for quite some time about something that you honestly weren’t paying super close attention to, Amren turned to you, snarling, “Can you please tell him he’s a fool?”

Cassian sat back in his chair, clutching his chest, making a great show of being offended.

“Why me?” you asked. 

“He actually listens to you,” Amren said, pointedly raising an eyebrow.

You snorted. “He does not.”

Azriel cut in, smiling faintly. “He does. More than the rest of us, anyway.”

You glanced at Cassian, who just smirked back at you. “What can I say? She’s obviously the smartest one here.”

This, of course, started a whole new round of insults from Amren that left Cassian chuckling to himself, his eyes sparkling as he gazed at you through the entire barrage of Amren’s insults.

Later, you and Cassian were lounging in the sitting room at the House of Wind, after everyone else had wandered off home or gone to bed. 

You were laying down on the couch, reading a book. Cassian was sitting at the far end of said couch, your feet in his lap while he read up on war strategies. 

It was only a matter of time before the romance novel that you were reading got… steamy. 

Cassian immediately noticed the shift in your scent and threw his head back laughing. “Why do you read smut in front of people?”

You kicked his chest lightly, which only made him laugh more. “It’s not like I know when the smutty scenes are going to happen!”

“This one really got to you, huh?” he said, noticing the blush that had risen to your cheeks.

Before you could stop him, he lunged for you, grabbing your book and wrenching it from your hands.

“Noo!” you shrieked, and covered your face in embarrassment as he read aloud.

“His weight on top of me was nearly enough for me to come undone,” he said in a deep, sultry voice. “I couldn’t focus on anything but the power and command in his movements as he grasped both my wrists in one hand and pinned them to the bed above my head.”

You couldn’t stand it anymore. You grabbed for the book, but he was faster and caught you as you moved toward him. His arm wrapped around your waist and he spun you, pinning you to the couch, his weight holding you down for the second time that day.

But, this time was… different. Your bodies were completely flush together, every inch of you touching him. His hair tickled your neck as he looked down at you, your faces a fraction away from each other. 

The two of you just stared at each other for a moment, breathing hard. You could smell it on him too now, the lust. In this moment, he wanted you. You knew he did. Heat went through you in a wave.

And he knew it. 

“This is what you’re into, huh?” he said huskily.

You glared at him, but you knew the lust was still shining in your eyes. 

He smirked. “Is that why you baited me during training today? You wanted to feel me on top of you?”

Yes. “No!” You scowled, pushing his shoulders, but he didn’t move. “I baited you because I wanted to see how long I would last.”

Cassian’s smirk turned positively wolfish, his eyes gleaming in a way you’d never seen before.

You groaned, realizing what you just said. “Not like that.” You pushed against him again. “Get off of me, Cassian!”

He dipped his head lower, his lips just a breath away from yours. “Are you sure you want me to?” he said, his voice low, sultry. You could hardly breathe.

No, of course I don’t want you to. I want to stay here forever and ever.

“Yes,” you ground out. 

His lips darted to your lips for the briefest moment before he pushed off of you, sitting on his knees. After a moment, he handed the book to you. 

“I hate you,” you mumbled.

He smirked. “No, you don’t.”

You couldn’t stop your small smile. “No, I don’t.”

---

For days, you felt rattled by what happened that night. Cassian, of course, seemed relaxed as ever, but you felt yourself blush every time you were around him.

You were in the market, your thoughts lost in Cassian as usual, when someone across the street caught your eye.

He was beautiful. The very definition of tall, dark, and handsome. You felt drawn to him in a way you had never felt before, not even with Cassian.

You stopped in your tracks, unable to take your eyes off him.

After a few moments, he looked up and your eyes met.

And you felt it.

The mating bond that snapped into place. That tethered you permanently to this stranger.

And judging from the look in his eyes, he felt it too.

The stranger made his way over to you, his eyes not wavering from yours.

“Hi,” he said when he was in front of you, like he was in a daze.

“Hi,” you said. “You… felt that too, right?”

He nodded. “I never knew what they meant… what it was supposed to feel like…” he trailed off, just staring at you. “I'm Adonis.”

You introduced yourself and didn't know what to do next. For centuries, you had dreamed of the day that you'd meet your mate. But secretly, you had been waiting for the bond to snap into place with Cassian. You hadn't thought about what you would do if it turned out to be a random stranger.

“Do you… want to go for a walk?” Adonis said, clearly equally unsure of what one was supposed to do upon meeting their mate.

You agreed. And just like that, you were getting to know your mate.

---

You found Rhys, Feyre, and Cassian all in Rhysand's study at the river house. They looked at you questioningly as you walked in.

“Are you okay?” Cassian asked, his voice soft, the way it always was when he was worried about you. “You look… weird.”

“I met my mate today,” you said quietly.

Feyre and Rhysand looked ecstatic. Cassian, though, went perfectly still, his skin turning slightly pale.

“What happened? Who is he?” Feyre asked, her eyes wide in excitement.

You shrugged, briefly explaining how you and Adonis met.

“What's he like?” Rhys asked. “Do you like him?”

“I think so?” You said, noticing how Cassian was still as a statue. “I don't know, it's weird. I feel this tug towards him but I don't know anything about him! I mean, he seems… nice.”

Cassian finally unfroze, to look incredulously at you. “Nice?” He repeated. “That's it? Your mate is nice?”

“We went on a walk and yes, he seems nice,” you blanched, feeling like you should defend your mate but not sure how.

Your friends just stared at you, clearly underwhelmed by your declaration.

“What do I do now?” You asked nobody in particular.

“You keep getting to know him,” Rhys said, lovingly wrapping an arm around Feyre. 

You glanced at Cassian, who suddenly seemed very interested in the carpet.

“Okay,” you said. 

Really, what else could you do?

---

Your relationship with Cassian had felt off ever since you and Adonis had started to get to know each other better.

He still trained you every day, but where he used to be bantering and joking around with you, he was now all business, keeping his physical distance from you. 

It was confusing, having to grapple with your ancient feelings for him and these new blooming ones for your mate. 

After a few weeks of weirdness, you finally snapped. “Did I do something to upset you?” You asked as both of you stretched after a particularly grueling workout.

“No,” he grunted. “Why?”

“You've been acting weird for weeks.”

He glanced at you, his eyes guarded. “No, I haven't.”

“Yes you have, Cass. You've barely talked to me,” you tried to hide the pain in your voice. You didn't want him to know how deeply this ran.

Cassian sighed, pausing his stretching to face you, look you in the eye. “You’re right, I'm sorry. I just… I'm sad, I guess. I've been your number one for centuries and now…” he pushed his hair out of his face. “Things are different now.”

You took a step toward him, your heart cracking. “Is that what you think? Cassian, no matter who my mate is, you'll always be my best friend. And… I could really use my best friend right now.”

Guilt clouded his expression. “I'm sorry. I've been a shitty friend,” he said quietly, moving forward and wrapping you in a tight bear hug. “Are you okay?”

Sighing with relief, leaning into his touch, you said, “I don't know. I'm really excited, obviously, that I finally found him. And I do like him. But I'm also… scared.”

He pulled back to look you in the eye. “Scared? Why?”

“What if he doesn't like me?” You asked quietly. You hadn't been able to voice your fears to anybody else. 

Cassian’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Why would you even think that? Who wouldn't like you?”

I can think of at least one person, you thought, but shoved it down.

You shrugged, not sure what to say.

He murmured your name, moving to gently hold your face in his hands. “He'd be insane to not like you. I mean it.”

Warmth spread through you at his touch, the softness in his voice. “Thanks, Cassian,” you murmured.

Cassian kissed your forehead, then pulled you back into a crushing hug. “Anytime.”

---

Your gut was a bundle of nerves as you met with Adonis again. The two of you had been getting to know each other for the last few weeks, and while you didn't yet feel an electric shock, you were thrilled to have found your mate.

When Adonis showed up though, your nerves only got worse. The look on his face could only mean that he was about to deliver bad news.

The two of you made your way through awkward small talk until he braced his forearms on the table in front of him, and you knew he was about to get down to business.

“So, look. I know we're mates, and I do feel that bond between us, but I can't help but think that maybe the Cauldron was wrong,” he said casually, as if he were telling you it was going to rain later.

Your heart completely plummeted. You tried to maintain your breathing, keep your voice even. “Why do you think that?”

“The attraction’s just not there,” he said matter of factly.

Mind spinning, you repeated, “the… attraction?”

He nodded, like it was obvious.

“You're saying, you think the Cauldron was wrong… because you're not attracted to me.”

“Yes! I'm so glad you get it,” he smiled.

You just looked at him incredulously. “You're serious?”

“Yes?” He raised his eyebrow in question.

“So, you're… you're rejecting the bond?”

“I think that would be best. Don't you?”

You narrowed your eyes, trying to keep your rising fury locked down. “With the way you're acting right now? Actually, yes, I do think it would be best. You're a terrible person,” you stated, determined to keep your tears from falling until you could make it home.

His eyes narrowed, glaring at you.

And right then, you felt it. Despite your anger, it was still painful to have the bond rejected. It felt like you were being torn apart from the inside out, ripping your very being to shreds.

You gripped the table, centuries of training your body and your mind was the only thing that kept you from crying out as the bond broke.

Adonis felt it too, you knew, because he had gone pale as a ghost, his body trembling slightly. 

When the pain had subsided enough, you pushed away from the table, walking home without a backwards glance.

---

You were supposed to meet Cassian for dinner at the House, but you couldn't bear it. You went to your own apartment instead, laying in your bed in the fetal position for what was probably hours, tears streaming down your cheeks until your head was pounding and your eyes were burning.

It was awful, this feeling. How could he be your mate? How could someone like that be who the Mother wanted you with?

Would you never be good enough for anyone? 

And now your hopes of finding a mate were gone forever. Everyone knew that you only got one chance, one mate.

Why did yours have to be so awful?

A knock on your door roused you from your spiraling thoughts.

You just groaned, knowing that Cassian could hear it.

The door opened and you heard his heavy footsteps as he found you in your bed.

He grimaced as soon as he saw the state of you, his eyes flooding with concern. Instantly he was by your side, kneeling in front of you, holding your hand. “What is it?” He asked, his voice soft despite the tautness of his body.

Your voice came out as barely more than a croak. “He rejected the bond.”

Cassian's rage was palpable, filling the room. “What?”

Ashamed, you hid your face in your pillows. You couldn't tell him why. Didn't have the words in you, and you didn't want him to know how much it hurt.

He swore under his breath, then crawled into bed with you, gingerly wrapping his arms around you, holding you close. You buried your face in his chest, breathed in the scent of him. It almost broke your heart even more, knowing he would never feel for you what you felt for him.

His fingers drew small, soothing circles on your back for a long moment until he broke the silence again. “What happened?” He said quietly.

It was a long time before you could answer. But you knew that if you could tell anyone in the world, it would be him. “He's not attracted to me,” you whispered.

Cassian's entire body tensed, his grip on you tightening. “He said that?” He said with lethal calm.

“He did,” you croaked as another tear slid down your cheek.

“I'm going to slaughter him,” he growled, his body trembling as he sat up, taking you with him. “I'm going to rip his skin off his bones--”

He had moved you so you were straddling him, your hands on his shoulders. “No, you won't,” you said gently.

“Why shouldn't I?” He spat, his eyes dark, his hands gripping your waist so hard, it would surely leave a bruise.

“It wouldn't solve anything,” you said sadly. 

Cassian buried his hand in the hair at the back of your head, forcing you to hold his gaze. “You listen to me. He is wrong. He is awful. You are so beautiful. You are so strong and kind and incredible. Do not let him get to you, okay? This is his loss, not yours,” he said, his eyes locked on yours, alight with so much emotion, your eyes welled with tears again.

He pursed his lips, his eyes softening as he pulled you into him again. You cried into his chest. “Why would the Mother do this to me? Why would she choose him?”

“I don't know,” he said sadly, running his hands through your hair gently. “I don't know. Maybe she made a mistake.”

You sniffed. “I don’t know what to do.” 

He kissed your head softly. “You lean on the people who love you. And then you try to move on.”

You cried even harder, and he held you and held you until your sobs diminished and you drifted off to sleep.

---

Cassian barely left your side in the following weeks, his hands always on you, comforting you. Even when he had to go to the Illyrian mountains, he brought you with him. 

It always did something to you, seeing him in command of all those soldiers. His face stern, his body rigid, barking orders at everyone. Despite all the awful things that had happened recently, it still made your toes curl in your boots. 

But even you could only brave the cold for so long to watch Cassian be in command, so you eventually wandered into Rhysand’s mother’s house, a roaring fire already ablaze when you arrived. 

You sat in front of it, warming your hands, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. 

Weeks after the disastrous meeting with your mate, you were finally starting to feel like yourself again, like other things in life mattered more than the jerk who hurt you.

It was mostly Cassian’s steady, comforting presence that had helped you return to yourself, his relentless insistence that you keep up with your training, that you don’t break your routine no matter how much your heart hurt. 

Cassian had been what was keeping you together for a long time, you realized. 

It was this thought that he interrupted, swinging the door open loudly, the snow billowing in behind him. After he had closed the door behind him, you heard his heavy footfalls stop dead in their tracks behind you.

You turned to look at him in confusion, and then you felt it. 

A bond snapped into place. 

A bond that somehow, after all this time, linked you to Cassian.

Your heart began pounding in your chest, your head spinning. “What--”

Before you could finish the thought, he was on top of you, pinning you to the ground, his lips on yours. You always forgot how quickly he could move, how he could be across the room in the blink of an eye with ease.

A moan sounded from you involuntarily as he cupped your cheek gently with his rough hand, his other on the floor next to your head, keeping some of his body weight off you so you wouldn’t be crushed. This seemed to spur him on even more, his tongue delving into your mouth immediately after you had opened your mouth to him. 

“I knew it,” he groaned, kissing your cheeks, your neck, “I knew it should’ve been me.” 

“Cassian,” you gasped, unable to process what was happening, what he just said--

He growled, kissing you again deeply, rocking his hips against yours.

You hated yourself for doing it, especially since you had been dreaming of this very moment for centuries, but you also needed a moment to think, to process. 

“Cassian, wait,” you said breathlessly, putting your hand on his chest. 

He halted immediately, pulling back to hover over you. “I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s okay,” you said, smiling to reassure him. He was breathing hard, his eyes locked on yours, trying to decipher if he had done something wrong, you knew. “I mean -- we should definitely continue that later, I just… I don’t understand.”

Cassian rose from on top of you, sitting up. You followed, sitting up to face him. “We’re mates,” he said with a soft smile, his eyes shining. “You and me,” he shook his head in disbelief. 

“I thought you could only have one mate? I thought that was it…” you trailed off, unable to form the words.

He shrugged, grinning. “I guess the Mother decided to give you another chance.”

All you could do was stare at him in disbelief. 

Cassian was actually your mate. Cassian.

His brow furrowed, his expression flooding with fear. “Are you upset?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. You gazed at him, at your beautiful, incredible mate. “Cassian, I’ve been in love with you for centuries. I’ve never been happier in my life.”

He made a choking sound. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

You bit your lip, pondering how much to tell him. He took your hand in his, scooching closer, hanging on your answer. Finally you leveled your gaze with his. “I don’t deserve you.”

His face contorted in anger then, a look that had never been directed at you before. “Why would you ever think that?”

Incredulously, you gestured to him. “Are you kidding? Look at you! You’re the commander of the Illyrian armies, they’ve literally written about your war tactics in the history books, you’re one of six people in centuries to actually reach Ramiel, you’re so kind and good and--”

Cassian’s lips were on yours before you could continue. “I love you,” he murmured against your lips. “I love you so much.” 

Your heart melted at his words and at his touch. After a few moments, he pulled back to look at you again. “Never say that you’re not good enough ever again. You’ve been in Rhysand's inner circle for centuries for a reason. How do you not see how incredible you are?” 

All you could get out was, “You love me?”

He laughed, the deep sound practically bouncing off the walls, before his expression softened, gazing at you lovingly. “Of course I love you. I was acting so weird after you met Adonis because I had never been so fucking jealous in my life,” he said quietly, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ve wished that you were mine for a long, long time.” 

You launched yourself at him and he was ready for you, wrapping his arms around you tightly as you kissed him. He laughed against your mouth, holding your body against his. 

Soon, you were completely tangled together, losing yourselves in each other.

Hours later, you were laying on the floor in front of the fire, your legs entwined together, your head on Cassian's chest, his arms around you. 

“After all this time,” you murmured, lost in the memories of all your lonely nights, now knowing that Cassian had felt the same way you did.

He kissed the top of your head. “I'm just glad the Mother finally helped us get together,” he chuckled.

“Me too,” you agreed. “We owe her a lot.”

“We owe her everything,” he said quietly, leaning in to kiss you again. 

You snuggled closer into him, relishing the thought that you would never again be alone.

@loving-and-dreaming @birdsflyhome @hanuh @sheblogs @iambored24601 @thalia-as-blog @evergreenlark @ecliphttlunar

[damascus-crowned-king]

Foolish love, but damn if it isn't true

Fool!Guy and Fool!Honey

It's really fucking bad yall

They were bored.

They were the only one awake at 6:30 AM, and they hated it. Years of waking up early out of fear that they would be late for some sort of event or that if they didn't wake up early enough, they wouldn't be as productive was biting them in the ass.

So they decided to bother their adorable, grumpy, currently asleep boyfriend.

"Guy."

"Baby."

"Darling."

"Sugar."

"Flour. Egg. Butter. Vanilla extract. Baking soda. "Salt. If you don't answer me, the pet names are just gonna get weirder, Guy."

"Nothing? Alright."

...

Radio silence.

"My oatmeal cream pie. My tomato soup."

"My honey-"

It only took a second for Guy to grab the back of their head and shove their face into a pillow and lay on top of them. Rendering them immobile.

"Oomph!"

"First of all. I call you honey, not the other way around. Second of all, It's too early and you should go back to bed. Third of all, why were almost all of those "pet names" food related?"

"I'm bored... and I can't go back to sleep, and also, I'm hungry, and who said that you trademarked the nickname 'honey'?!"

He replied dryly. "I did."

They squirmed for a minute before giving up under him. "Can you get off of me now?"

He questioned them slightly, still mildly crushing them under his weight. "Are you gonna chill out?"

"Maybe..."

"..."

"....Okay I'll calm down... lame-ass..."

"Did you say something?"

"Nothing, sweetheart~"

"That's what I thought." He got off top of them and laid on his side while Honey wrapped their arms around him so he could nuzzle his face in their chest.

They eventually started scratching his scalp, and they made a small smile at him leaning into their touch. "Your roots are kinda showing. Do you want me to touch 'em up for you?"

Guy scrunched his face in confusion and slight judgment at their behavior, still mumbling into their neck. "Honey. Did you just sniff my hair?"

Guy buried his face in the crook of their neck and wrapped his arms around them even tighter, mumbling a tired response. "Yeah... Tomorrow."

Honey slightly shivers at Guy's warm breath on their neck, smirking at his clinginess. "Okay." Letting out a soft confirmation before burying their face in his hair, taking a deep whiff of his natural scent mixed with his coconut and mango shampoo.

Honey smirked at Guy's convicting tone. "What? You smell good."

Guy scoffed at honey, finding their fascination for his smell odd. "You're such a weirdo..."

"What? You want me to say you smell bad? 'Cus I could."

"I mean, you could, but then you'd just look like a liar..."

"Do you want me to appreciate your smell or say you smell gross?"

"You could just... not smell me. That's an option." He says, throwing out the proposition, knowing full well it won't be taken into consideration.

Honey, fake-considers his suggestion, very obviously not actually thinking about not smelling him. "Mmmmm nah I'll pass."

Guy rolls his eyes and holds Honey tighter, wrapping his legs around them like a koala. Squeezing them tightly while they play with his hair.

This was the life to Guy. Silence and cuddles, Honey's fingers tangling into his hair and Guy secretly taking in their scent. (Hypocrite) Who wouldn't love this serene, still moment...

"Has anyone told you you're absolutely perfect?"

Guy was stunned to say the least. For Honey to say something so out of the blue and something so sappy had his heart skipping a beat.

"Um... no? What's up with you?" Guy was confused. Confused but not that surprised. His Honey was always one to speak their mind, but sometimes they said things that had him flustered. And he wasn't exactly the best at preparing for their unaware sweet words.

"Just sayin'. You're adorable, you're sweet, you smell amazing all the time, and you feed me. That seems like perfect boy behavior to me."

Whoooo boy. Yep. This is how he dies. Four years of being together, and he still turned into a bashful mess whenever Honey was all mushy with him... which was most of the time.

"God you are so..."

"Sooo...? What?"

Guy lets out a soft, resigned sigh and leans into them. "Charming."

Honey snorts at Guy somewhat dropping the tough-guy act and admitting he finds them charming, their ego rising at his simple word of affirmation.

"And that's all the sappy shit you're getting out of me today. No more."

"Ahhh I knew it... you're no fun..."

"Not my problem."

"But you know what is your problem?"

Guy groaned, clearly not excited for whatever was about to come out of his Honey's mouth. "What?"

Honey spoke up with a smirk in their voice. "Breakfast~"

"Ughhhh...."

"Soooo. What should we have for breakfast? We could have waffles, hashbrowns, Omelettes, grits? Ooh! We could have French toast and sausage?"

Guy rolled his eyes as they rambled about various breakfast foods, but deep down he knew he'd make a four course breakfast meal for his Honey. Because they deserved it. They deserved the world after dealing with his sass and sarcasm and monotone, lackluster personality, and his absence of... everything for years and even deciding to date him after putting up with all of it.

So he'll gladly make them breakfast.

And gladly give them the whole world if they asked.

Anything for his Honey.

[lilacsandpetals]

Frozen Blossoms Pt. 3

Last part here.

Next part here.

Bi-Han x F! reader

Tags and notes: Arranged marriage AU, SFW, exploring emotions, Bi-Han can be mean sometimes. Pre-MK1/MK1 AU

You were enjoying your morning, you had stayed in reading. The sunlight shone through your room and you set the book down at your bedside table near the flowers you’d received the other day. You found a decent vase to put your bouquet in and it sparked a sense of hope, that perhaps the cryomancer had started to open up to you. You had still barely spoken to Bi-Han, but you’d managed to steal a moment of his time to express gratitude for the flowers. You were hoping that you’d see him more today. You’d been excused from today’s lessons since today was the height of the Mid-Autumn Festival. You’d listened in on chatter amongst the other members of the clan. Everyone had some sort of plan. You’d wanted to ask Bi-Han if he could accompany you in festivities but that’d only be successful if you could at least find him. You left your room and began to make your way around the complex, keeping an eye out for your evasive husband. You find your way to a secluded office, the door is slightly ajar and you peek inside to find Bi-Han mulling over some documents. You knock gently. Bi-Han doesn’t bother to look up. “You may enter.” 

You try to make light of the situation, it is a special day isn’t it? “You let me in pretty easily, how do you know I wasn’t an intruder?” 

He rolls his eyes and much to your disappointment, he doesn’t seem to like the joke.

“Had you been an intruder I would’ve immobilized you before you got this far.”

You nod and step forward. “Today is the Mid-Autumn Festival, I was wondering if, well…” you bite your lip, although things had improved overall between you two, casual conversation was still unknown territory. For the most part anyway. 

Bi-Han tilts his head. “Spit it out.”

“Could we attend the festival? I’ve heard that the village nearby is holding some events and-“ 

“No.”

Your hope deflates in an instant. “No? What do you mean no?” 

“I mean no, I don’t have any use in going.”

“But I want to go,” you nearly whine. 

“I’m not stopping you from going,” he responds and crosses his arms. 

You want to go with him. You want to walk around the decorated streets, you want to light the lanterns, you want to have dinner together, and you want to eat moon cakes with him. Who else would you do it with? The desire to counter his argument is there, but hesitancy gets the best of you for a moment. He already said no, you know he is stubborn. But you still prod. “I mean with you, I want you to go with me.” 

“Why?” 

‘Goodness, was he making this difficult on purpose?’ 

He was asking such blatant questions it almost made you self-conscious about responding. “I mean, we’re married.”

“As far as I know that’s not a requirement to attend the festival.” 

Now he was truly starting to irk you. “It’s not a requirement, but I would prefer that we go together.”

“I cannot, I have matters to attend to.” 

“Please? It’s one day.” You’re beginning to feel like a disappointed child. 

“My duties don’t stop because it’s a mere holiday.” 

“Oh.” You nod your head and slink away back into the hallway. Looks like you’re on your own again, not as if that was out of the ordinary. You just hoped this time would be different. 

And so you busy yourself around the complex. You didn’t realize that not having to attend any lessons would leave you quite bored. You didn’t feel like reading anymore and everyone else seemed to be busy with their own plans. At some point, you end up making your way to the kitchen. Maybe you could make some tea and then go for a walk in the village on your own.

You begin to brew the tea to your liking when you hear a door slide open. “Oh, Y/N?” You turn around and smile “Hi Tomas.” You glance back at the teapot. “Do you want some tea?” 

“Sure.” He goes to sit at one of the tables nearby and you turn back to the teapot. You haven’t really interacted with him one-on-one before, it's always been in a communal environment. Your mind rummages through conversation starters. You suppose you could ask him about training. Or maybe about some recent mission? Although Bi-Han and the others still seemed very secretive about that… maybe you could ask him about how he joined the Lin Kuei? But before you can speak up, he beats you to it.

“So, what’re you and Bi-Han up to today?” 

You sigh quietly and crack your knuckles out of habit. That was perhaps the one question you didn’t want to answer. “Ah, just the usual.” 

“You’re not doing anything special today?” 

You turn to him briefly and shake your head before pouring a cup of tea for you both. You walk over to the table and sit down across from him.  “No, Bi-Han is busy today.”

“He is? I guess that makes sense. He takes his role of future Grandmaster seriously.” Tomas replied, he blew on the cup and took a sip. Now, Tomas didn’t know much about what it took to be Grandmaster, at least not more than what the rest of the Lin Kuei were aware of. But provided that nothing extremely urgent was of concern, he’d seen their current grandmaster take a break on festival days. Even if he didn’t attend the actual festivals often, he would still take the day to rest and spend time with his family. 

Now Tomas had plans with Kuai Liang for the evening. Kuai Liang was aware that in recent years his father preferred to stay in for the festival, but he had also asked Bi-Han if he wanted to go into the village with them. Unsurprisingly, Bi-Han declined the offer. They thought nothing of it and considered it a change of heart with Bi-Han, they hoped he had plans with his wife.

Tomas should feel surprised, but a part of him is not. 

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t notice the slight disconnect at dinner. Neither Bi-Han nor his new bride seemed to be very familiar with one another even after some time had passed. Y/N would keep up her chatter but it came off as a sort of an anxious habit. Perhaps to cover up any relationship issues between them? At least, that was his theory. 

You watch the smoke dance from your teacup and into the air before taking a small sip. “Do you have any plans for tonight?” 

“Yeah, Kuai Liang and I are going to this restaurant in the village, Madame Bo’s.”

“I’ve never heard of it?”

“You’d love it, Madame Bo is the owner of the establishment and she actually used to be part of the Lin Kuei.”

You chuckled lightly. “Really? That’s quite the career change.” 

Tomas smiled before taking another sip, “Her food is to die for. You have to try it someday.”

You give him a small nod. Maybe you could ask to join them? Surely it wouldn’t burden them? 

You grip the side of your dress, nervous to speak up. 

But why be nervous, they’re your family now aren’t they? “Could I go with you?” 

“Sure!” Tomas exclaimed. “At least I won’t be the third wheel now,” he said with a light chuckle. Relief flooded your being and excitement took its place. “We’ll leave just before sunset.”

——————

This was the first time since the wedding that you had gotten to dress up, although at the wedding you couldn’t exactly savor the moment due to the circumstances of it all. But today would be different, you would be enjoying time with your new family, or at least part of your new family. 

Now here you were in front of a mirror, trying to ensure you looked good for the occasion. You slipped into a new dress you’ve been meaning to wear and were tending to your hair when the door opened. You turned around, it was your husband. You give him a little wave and he responds with a nod of acknowledgment. 

You turned back to the mirror, fiddling with a pin. He watched you as you did, you reminded him of a delicate doll. The color of your dress complimented your skin tone, as did your hairpiece. “Where are you going?”

“The village, remember I mentioned the festival?” You said quickly, hoping he wouldn’t counter your plans. Thankfully you hear something that you likened to a hum of approval. 

Once you’ve checked yourself in the mirror one final time you head for the exit of your bedroom, glancing back quickly at Bi-Han, he seems to be preoccupied. Maybe next year he’ll come with you, you two could go as a couple, or maybe it’s wishful thinking. Before you can turn to leave, your husband utters your name. 

“Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t get into trouble.”

You smile faintly, although a forlorn feeling was behind it. “I won’t.”

——————

You meet up with Tomas and Kuai Liang, eager to join in the festivities. The town is lively, the streets filled with families enjoying their time together, and little children run about carrying their lanterns. It’s a refreshing sight. 

Madame Bo’s restaurant is lively as well, and you lag behind Tomas and Kuai Liang as they make their way to the table. There are so many people around, and so much excitement, the lanterns within the restaurant help create an even more comforting ambiance. You’re so focused on all that is around you, that you almost fail to notice that there is someone already sitting at the table you’ve been led to. She shoots you a gentle smile and you return the gesture before she greets Tomas and then finally Kuai Liang, whom she definitely seems to be more familiar with. “Who is that?” You whisper to Tomas. “Harumi, she’s someone special to our brother here,” he says and briefly gestures to them. Kuai Liang then turned to you. “That’s my sister-in-law that I told you about, Y/N.”

Harumi smiles at you “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Likewise,” you respond kindly. 

Harumi is lovely. She is kind in her interactions with you and Tomas, and well adept in conversation. You tried to keep up in conversation with the three of them, but you were very distracted, to put it lightly. 

You can tell how much she and Kuai Liang care for one another. Those two cared for each other, you could tell by how they interacted. It’s not as if they blatantly declared their love for one another in front of you in Tomas, but they might as well have. Her hand laid in his frequently throughout dinner, they shared pieces of pomelo, she stole sips from his osmanthus wine, she’d feed him pieces of meat from her plate when he’d eaten all of his, and he would gently brush her hair out of her face when she ate her noodles. And now the pair of love birds were sharing a moon cake for dessert. Harumi broke off a piece and fed it to her lover, who placed a chaste kiss on her hand as a thank you. 

You could see why Tomas didn’t want to be the third wheel. Watching them be so happy… you hated to admit it but you were jealous. 

Those two beamed with affection. They were gentle with one another and considerate of each other. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but it made you wonder if you could ever be like that with Bi-Han. At least to you, it wasn’t likely. You wished he had just come with you. Part of you worries as to why he didn’t. Did he just not care? What if he was spending the evening with someone else? 

For your own peace of mind, you decided to remove yourself from the table, at least for a bit. “If you’d excuse me, I ate too much, I’m just going to get some fresh air,” you said and stood up with a sheepish smile. Harumi sneaked a look at Kuai Liang and then back up at you, “Do you want me to go with you?” 

Tomas glanced back at your plate, you really hadn’t eaten much in his opinion… he turned his gaze towards you “I’ll go with you.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to.” You didn’t want to dampen Tomas’ mood along with yours. 

“I need to take a break from eating too, I’m stuffed, so fresh air would be good right now.” He gets up and waves off the couple at the table before following your lead. 

You both walk out to the balcony on the second floor of the restaurant. Not many people are out there and the moon shines bright upon you both. You take a deep breath and intake your surroundings. Though it’s getting late into the night, there are people still conversing and celebrating below. You wished you could halt your thoughts for at least tonight, but you weren’t so fortunate. Part of you wished you had just gone home to your parents to celebrate. But the trek was far and you knew it would look a bit rude if you had run off to your parents' clan so soon after your wedding. But maybe you’d feel better if you did. You'd be distracted, and you wouldn’t be thinking about the lack of love from your husband. 

It vexed you that on a holiday honoring two lovers, you were feeling the sting of being unloved. You wrapped your arms around yourself as a breeze danced past you. Tomas watched the festivities carry on below before looking back at you, “are you cold? We can go back inside.” You shake your head, “No, no I’m fine.” Tomas nods his head, “so, do you think Kuai Liang and Harumi will marry? I don’t think I could see him with anyone else.” 

You nearly scoff but catch yourself, “Definitely, you can tell they hold much affection for one another.”

He smiled slightly “Good point, I’m glad they found one another. Kuai Liang has liked her for so long, it’s good to see them be happy together.” 

You forced a smile. You wished you had a relationship like that. 

Tomas took note of your discomfort, he supposed he should have known better considering the day and topic. “So, how’ve you been liking life at the complex?”

You shrugged your shoulders “It’s nice, most of the people I talked to are nice, like you.” You try to lighten the mood and nudge him with your elbow. He chuckles. “Glad I’m on your good side then.” 

——————

Guilt was a peculiar thing to Bi-Han. It was an emotion he seldom felt. On occasion, it would plague him. Like when he snapped at Kuai Liang and Tomas when they came to check on him one more time after their mission the other night. Or like when he yelled at his father for falling too deep into grief very shortly after his mother’s death. Or maybe like when he can’t sleep, wishing he had spent more time with his mother. 

Bi-Han rarely feels guilt, but he does so now when he looks at the flowers you’d put in the vase at your bedside. The flowers that he gave you that day, he attempted to pick them carefully, racking his brain to remember the ones you seemed to prefer the most. At the end of it, he tried to find some sort of ribbon, but all he came across was a twine that he messily tied together. 

Yet you took care of those flowers so graciously. You had come up to him that next morning in passing. A smile was wide on your face and eyes vibrant with something he might liken to the all-so-unfamiliar look of hope. He acted rather dismissive, but he would be lying to himself if he said seeing you like that didn’t please him.  

He should have just accepted your invitation. What he worked on today was not that important. It’s laughable, and he still despised that you could put him in such a pitiful state, but he was nervous. He wouldn’t know how to go about acting like a normal couple with you, engaging in romantic sentiments. Would that even be possible? 

He doesn’t know how to truly connect with you. He doesn’t know how to truly care for you. 

He doesn’t know how to be a husband.  

It’s starting to get late, and he doesn’t know for sure if you’ve come back yet. He steps out of the bedroom and begins walking around the estate. Did you go with anyone? What if you went with another man? Some sort of lover of yours? Oh if you had he wouldn’t hesitate to slit the man’s throat right in front of you. But he doesn’t remember you ever mentioning one? Or were you just good at hiding it? Perhaps he is overthinking. Maybe you went by yourself? 

He should have asked you. He should have just gone with you. 

So here he finds himself slightly embarrassed, standing in his father’s quarters, asking his father if he’s seen you. 

“As her husband, you should know. It is a holiday after all.” 

Bi-Han grit his teeth. He understood he was in the wrong, he didn’t need a scolding from his father. 

“Grandmaster, I am asking for your assistance, if you can’t provide it then I’ll be on my way.” 

His father shakes his head, he would have spent the majority of this day with his wife had she still been here, his kids included, provided no emergencies were present. 

How times have changed. 

The fact that his son still resisted the marriage so much disappointed him. He’d seen the way you two struggled to interact, no matter how much you tried to hide it at dinner. Yet he thought that today could possibly be an opportunity for his son to right his wrongs. 

Bi-Han, ever so impatient when it came to his father, turns around and before he can leave his father's voice echoes in the room, “She went to the village with your brothers, by now she must be at Madame Bo’s Teahouse with Kuai Liang and Tomas.”

“Thank you, Grandmaster.”

——————

Bi-Han made his way through the dwindling crowd and bumped into a few individuals along the way. He made his way to Madame Bo’s. At this point, it seemed like most customers were on their way out. He rolled his eyes when someone scowled at him for accidentally knocking off their hat. His eyes scan the place before running into the owner of the restaurant herself. 

“Madame Bo,” he spoke and bowed his head. She was an elder of the Lin Kuei, albeit formerly, but he’d offer her due respect nonetheless. “Bi-Han, I’m surprised to see you here, looking for your brothers?”

“Yes, have you seen them today?”

“Mhm” she hums and gestures to the second floor, their table is up there. “Thank you,” he replies and starts to make his way upstairs before Madame Bo’s voice rings in his ear. “I met your wife, she’s quite the looker.” Madame Bo chuckles when Bi-Han furrows his eyebrows. She then waves him off. 

So he makes his way up, immediately catching sight of Kuai Liang and a woman who looks oddly familiar. The woman catches sight of him first, and gently shakes Kuai Liang’s arm, prompting him to turn around. “Brother! I didn’t know you were coming, would you like to eat with us? I’m sure Madame Bo wouldn’t mind-”

“I’m not hungry.” He tilts his head towards the woman, was she the object of his brother’s affection? “And she is?”

Kuai Liang lights up, “Bi-Han this is Harumi, you remember her don’t you? We used to play together when we were children.” She smiles at him “Bi-Han it’s been so long.” 

He forces a smile, “Yes, it’s nice to see that you are well.” He had questions about when and how his brother had rekindled a connection with Harumi, and how he hid the relationship so well, or did he even hide it? Was he so oblivious to his brother’s activities and whereabouts? 

Before either of them can ask him anything else he speaks up, “Where is my wife?”

“Oh she’s on the balcony, she wanted some fresh air.” 

“Thank you.” He starts off towards the balcony but begins to slow down the closer he gets. 

You and Tomas are leaning against the railing, breaking apart the last piece of a mooncake and eating it together. You two are a bit too close for his liking. You are smiling, you’re engaged in conversation. Tomas is equally as into the conversation. He doesn’t even know what you two are talking about, but for some reason it makes his blood boil. He wants to snatch you away and bring you home. Perhaps he is acting childish, but he practically stomps over to you two and grips Tomas’ shoulder, causing you both to look at your husband. Tomas’ eyes widen, “Bi-Han! I didn’t know you were coming,” he glances between you two, “I’m going back inside for some final snacks, it was nice talking to you Y/N!” 

Tomas makes his way back to the couple at the table, he is surprised to see Bi-Han show up, but he is happy about it nonetheless. He could tell that you were disappointed and so he tried to lift your mood as best he could, although he didn’t know how successful he was. Maybe your husband could get the job done.

——————

Bi-Han’s gaze is harsh and you match his look. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you, but appears like you are doing just fine.” He grabs your wrist. “We’re leaving right now.”

You snatch your wrist out of his grasp and lean back against a nearby column. “No, I do not want to go.” You didn’t want to go back to the Lin Kuei’s complex, you didn’t want to go back to a bedroom that lacked any comfort with a husband who seemed more indifferent to you than anything. You just wanted to be away from everything, at least for a bit longer.

“Then what?! Do you intend to stay here all night?” You roll your eyes and cross your arms, “what do you care?” 

He clenches his jaw, you were noticeably smaller than him, he could snatch you up and bring you back home kicking and screaming if he wanted to. “Why else would I be here? You are my wife” he hisses. 

You know that arguing right now probably isn’t the best idea, but you’ve felt so dejected as the night went on. “If I recall correctly you said that I’m your wife only in title, and nothing else, right? So what do you care if I spend here all night alone?’

You can feel tears threaten to spill from your eyes, but you blink them back. You won’t allow him the privilege of seeing you in such a vulnerable state. He’s not worth that, not yet, or maybe he never will be. 

Bi-Han narrows his eyes, you were twisting his words. Or maybe he had truly meant that at the time. Yet in this moment, it was different. He did care, maybe he was beginning to want you as more than a wife simply in the title. He desired more of you. 

So what was truly stopping him? Perhaps he was his own worst adversary. 

He can’t bring himself to apologize, he has rarely ever apologized to anyone. “That was then, that is not my sentiment anymore.”

You shake your head, looking at the lanterns that hang above you, “how can I even be sure of what you say?”

“Allow me the opportunity to prove my worth.” 

“How?” you scoff and narrow your eyes at him, “you can’t just bring me a new bouquet of flowers and think all will be fixed.”

He resists the urge to let out a sigh, “That is not what I am asking of you.”

“Okay, then what are you asking of me?’

He is hesitant to reach out to you now as if you’re too delicate for his touch. He hopes he did not grab your wrist too harshly before. 

If he could so carelessly touch you then, why is he having so much difficulty now? Why were you so seemingly out of his reach, even when you were standing right in front of him? How could everyone get along with you so well but him?  

Yet he thinks of the talk he had with Kuai Liang and he thinks of how happy a small bunch of flowers made you.

And the realization hits him, that perhaps, it is no fault of yours. That maybe he truly is too arrogant and brutish for his own good, at least when it comes to you.  

So this time he reaches for your hand gently. He is seldom one to not maintain direct eye contact, but there is a sense of shame that is gnawing at his very being now, and he can’t look you in the eyes just yet. His eyes are focused on your hand.

“I know I am not an ideal husband.” He pauses before his eyes slowly trail up to meet yours, and he is convicted by the exhausted look they harbor. 

“Truthfully, I do not know what to do. I took you in as my wife due to it being required of me, I did not want to marry, and I figured it a waste of time. But the thought of you has intercepted my every move even so.” His grip on your hand tightens and you can feel your heart start to beat slightly faster. “I am unaware of how to get closer to you. You are at ease more with others than you are with me and I detest it for reasons I don’t fully comprehend.”

You take in each word he speaks and take a moment of pause before responding, “I don't know how to go about any of this. I didn't want to get married either. But we are married now. I don’t want to live the rest of my life lonely. What do I have to do to make you understand that I am on your side? I vowed to be your partner in this life but I am yet to truly act on that because you don’t give me the chance. I want to know more about you, I want to be able to enjoy my time with you, and I can only wish that you would do the same.”

He is left without a word to utter. He didn’t know you had felt that way, he was unaware that you ached for similar sentiments. “I am willing to try.”  

——————

And so you make your way home. He has not let go of your hand since you left the Teahouse  There’s a silence between you two but this time it’s more of an understanding one. The village has fallen into a quiet bliss. The only sounds prevailing through the air are of shopkeepers closing up for the night, and some lingering civilians. You tuck a piece of your hair back behind your ear. You’ve both made the commitment to do better, but you wonder if he’ll truly keep his word. You hope that he does. 

By the time you’ve returned to your room, you’re worn out, your bed is practically calling out for you. You sit down in front of the mirror, quickly wiping off the makeup and then struggling to remove some of the pins from your hair, you wince when one of them gets stuck. 

A hand rests on your shoulder, almost hesitantly. “Calm down, you’ll only get it more tangled.” You drop your hands to your side, and to your surprise, he successfully removes the pin. “Thank you,” you mumble and hastily grab the hem of your dress and raise it slightly. You realize neither one of you has changed in front of the other. Maybe Bi-Han had, but if he did, he did so while you were asleep. His eyes widen briefly at the sight of you lifting your dress. “I’ll turn around,” he says hastily. You nod and continue to get changed before crawling into the bed, falling asleep mere seconds after your head hits the pillow. 

Once he’s sure you’ve fallen asleep, he gets ready for bed. The reality of the agreement he’s made with you hits him. To properly bond he would realistically have to open up to you. Which appeared rather daunting. Which was pathetic of someone like him, if he’s being honest. Neither combat nor battle frightens him, but the prospect of bearing his heart to you does. He is never one to doubt himself, but he still wonders if he will be able to follow through. He supposes that only time will tell. 

He gets into the bed and covers you with the blanket again, you had a bad habit of falling asleep without it or somehow getting it off of you in the middle of the night. Usually, he’d fall asleep facing away from you, maintaining a reasonable distance. Now he does face you. He hates how embarrassingly timid he is when it comes to granting you affection, it’s unbecoming of him. He is apprehensive, but his hand reaches out to touch your face, and his thumb gently caresses your cheek, he’s never felt something so soft. But you begin to stir and he immediately snatches his hand back. He longed for your touch but was weary of it all the same. And so he is caught off guard when you move in your sleep to be practically up against him. He pauses, part of him wants to shove you off of him. Yet would it be so wrong of him to savor the moment?

——————

“Did you escort Harumi back to her residence?”

“I did. What happened with Bi-Han and Y/N?” Tomas shrugged. “I tried to give them some privacy, but I think they were arguing out there.” 

Kuai Liang sighed, he had hoped his brother had addressed his shortcomings this evening, not argue over it.

“But they left a little before we did, and I saw them walk away hand in hand.” Tomas smiled, “I think they’ll be okay.” 

——————

Your eyes flutter open the next morning, you expect to be alone again. Yet you feel something draped across your body, and come to realize it’s Bi-Han’s arm. His breath gently brushes up against your cheek as he sleeps.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading 💙

[kyokutsu-sama]

Hello! How are you? It's the first time I'm making a request, I hope you can understand my English because it's not my first language (I'm Brazilian). I would like to request a headcanon for Nozel, Fuegoleon, William, Julius. They invite their s/o to dinner for the first time after confessing to her, they then go to the restaurant to wait for her but realize that their s/o is late and they think she is rejecting them, but then, someone warns them that there is a fight going on in a part of the city and when they get there, s/o is fighting someone. She was attacked by someone who doesn't like the boys and decides to hurt her to hurt them (I hope that makes sense).

I really hope you managed to understand! Sometimes English is complicated for me! Love your blog! ❤️❤️

Hii!! I'm glad that you like my blog and you don't need to worry about your english because I understand it very well. Your english is very good❤️✨️

I hope you like what I wrote😊

_____________________________

Fuegoleon :

Fuegoleon had invited his girlfriend to their first dinner together. He was very anxious and couldn't wait for her to arrive soon, since he had been the first to arrive at the place. It turns out that he was waiting and waiting and nothing, so he started to get worried. He then decided to go out to look for you. As he was leaving the street, there was a loud explosion coming from the other side of the city and he went to see what it was. He arrived at the place where the noise came from and saw her standing, panting and with small wounds after having knocked down a malefactor who had intended to hurt her to cause distress to the captain. Hurting his loved one for not liking him was definitely a bad idea. Fuegoleon quickly intervened, taking her with one arm close to him and tying the man up with his magic, so that he would be caught by the other magic knights and pay for his actions. "Are you okay, dear?" The captain asked, combing her hair with his fingers, gently. "I think we have to take you to a doctor, you're bleeding here." He said, looking at the wound she had on her arm "No need, it was just a scratch. I'm fine!" She insisted but he shook his head "Don't be stubborn Y/n, let's go to Doctor Owen. He can help you. Come!" The captain took her in his arms and took her there with the salamander Fuegoleon was relieved to know that she was not in danger (and especially the fact that she hadn't rejected him like he was thinking moments ago in the restaurant😅)

Julius :

Julius was smiling to himself, all excited, like a child as he waited for his loved one at the restaurant after they both agreed on dinner. The wizard king was very happy after she agreed to date him and couldn't wait to be with her again. Julius looked at the clock several times and each minute that passed seemed painful since she was taking so long The wizard king had a strange feeling, probably even a premonition, he thought. He got up from the table and went outside to the center of the capital city where he knew she was and when he got there, he realized that his prediction was right. She seemed busy. He noticed that the guy who was on the ground had already gotten up and was now heading towards her again, he knew she was strong but he still couldn't help but interfere. Julius used his restriction magic (chrono stasis) to immobilize the man and later, the magic knights arrived to take him away. "You had a little problem here." The wizard king approached her and she hugged him. "Are you okay?" "Yes, now I am. You saved me! This idiot wanted to hurt me because he didn't like you and so he thought it would be good to do it to me." She explained "I see...Well, it looks like unfortunately we'll have to leave dinner for another time, my dear. It looks like I'll have to have a long talk with that guy later." Julius said and she noticed the king's dark look in the man's direction She could already imagine that that man would never be seen in Clover again...

William :

William was swinging his foot under the table and his fingertips kept hitting the table, anxiously. He was a little nervous about his new girlfriend's delay. He had started dating her weeks ago and this would be their first dinner. William saw Yuno entering the restaurant and the boy arrived at his table to tell him the news of what was happening on the other side of the city with his beloved. She seemed to be facing someone who had tried to harm her. William thanked the boy for warning him and they both ran towards the location. William took her from his clutches and defeated the man who had hurt her. Shortly after the arrival of the knights of the golden dawn and the calming of the situation, he was always holding her in his arms to make her feel safe. "Are you feeling better?" The captain asked "Yes, thank you for coming to my rescue, I mean, I was doing well but he was just stubborn and didn't want to let go of me. He spoke badly about you too and maybe he was doing this to me to hurt you too but don't worry, I did my best against him." She winked and he gave a small smile "You did really well, without a doubt...but our dinner seems to have been ruined." He laughed, making her laugh too "It's okay, we'll schedule it for another day. For whenever you want, my dear." She said, holding his hand.

[slut4satoru-blog]

Husband Head Canons—Toji Fushiguro minors DNI +18 content (NSFW)

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

i’ve been having so much fun writing these days! thank you all for the immense support. you push me to keep writing filthy stuff for us all!! hope you enjoy and remember my requests are open. please remember that i have not proof read this, sorry if anything’s misspelled haha. 🩷

content warnings: f!reader, AFAB, established relationship, p ➜v inter course, mentions of nipple/breast play, cream pies, unprotected sex, toji is uncut i dare you to fight me, squirting, public sex, oral (f!receiving), cock warming, sex toys, fingering (f!receiving), biting, markings, sweaty gym sex, clit play, g-spot abuse, this man needs all of the content warnings this world may carry lol & anything else i might have missed

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loved the way you treated megumi and tsumiki. he always looked up to eating breakfast with all of you, seeing how well you guys got along made him melt every single time.

★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loves it when you make dinner. he’s a better cook for sure, but whenever he comes from home and he sees you in your zone whipping up some food, wearing your cute custom made apron with your name on it. in his eyes, it’s one of the best sights ever.

★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loves doing laundry! he hates doing dishes and you hate doing laundry, so it’s a match made in heaven when you love doing dishes and he is a wizard in the laundry room. you’ve never seen anyone be so detailed about laundry detergent and clothes before you got married with him.

★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that is a pro at budgeting and making groceries. you decided to leave it to him the first time you saw his little “budget” binder along with his coupon cabinet and it’s been for the better. you’re still amazed at how $400 worth of groceries ended up costing $120. since then, no one goes grocery shopping but him.

★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that is horridly bad at video games. you laugh-cry every time the kids dare him to play on their games and he looses every single time. he’s a sore looser too, so you have to prepare yourself every time for the little pouting mess he becomes when megumi and tsumiki are “too hard on him”.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that offers you the best after care you’ve ever seen. after he fucks you senseless and leaves you almost immobile, you see him get up quickly and set up the bath with your favorite bath salts and scents. brings you your favorite hot/cold beverage and gets in the bath with you as he rubs your back, and ends up fucking you again there because he for sure can’t hold himself when you’re a moaning mess.

★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loves public play. you can’t think about the last time you guys have gone out that he hasn’t asked you to wear a bluetooth vibrator, or when he tries to finger you under the table when you’re eating out. there was this one time the man literally got on his knees under the table at this really niche restaurant just to eat you out. he stood up 5 minutes later with the most shit eating grin, glistening with your cum like he had some expensive lip gloss on. he’s always been one to live for the thrill and being married wasn’t going to stop him.

★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loves fucking you right after the gym. he loves to see you al sweaty and tired. makes him want to impale you on his cock. so every time you come home from the gym; heck, sometimes in the gym lockers he’ll show you how hot you are to him as he slides his big, uncut shaft into you. marking your tits up as if they’re his trophies as you cry out his name.

★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that is obsessed with your tits. he loves nipple play, biting and sucking on your tits after a long day at work is just what he needs. it extends to him loving it when you play with his too, sucking and biting his nipples is the 100% sure way of sending him off the edge too.

★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that loves cock warming. yes, he’s the king of aftercare. but sometimes both of you are too tired to move after some fun, nasty time. so he’ll just slip inside one more time to feel you around him without him moving. sure is, until you start clenching too much on purpose and he proceeds to fuck you one more time. a cute little ring of creamy fluids and cum decorating the end of his shaft.

and here’s an extra one since we’re all sluts for this man-whore 🩷

★ ➜ 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘰𝘫𝘪 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰 that absolutely goes insane when you squirt. he makes it his mission to always see that little stream of fluids spurt out of your sweet cunt. he’ll abuse your g-spot, massage your clit until it becomes hot and unbearable just to see his favorite part of it all. when that stream hits him, body or face, he goes wild and just turns completely feral. swearing to always take all of since he sees it as a reward for all of his hard work.

Masterlist

[mafiaanomaly]

"Webs Territorial"

predator!Miguel O'hara x prey!fem!Reader

CW: Rape play, CNC, predator/prey, masochism, sadism, dacryphilia

Summary: After watching a fox attempting to hunt a bunny, Miguel suggests hunting you down instead. You agreed, knowing the consequences of being caught. CW: Rape play, CNC, predator/prey, masochism, sadism, dacryphilia

The soft crunch of leaves beneath feet. The cold sting of autumn wind. Pale moonlight slicing through foliage. Ragged breaths ripping through raw flesh of a dry throat. 

Keep moving, keep moving, keep moving.

One foot after the other. No time to cry. A stumble. The sharp snap of a breaking branch. A sudden sense of weightlessness before gravity’s claws sink in. 

Pain. 

Dirt in mouth. Gravel embedding into skin. Soft flesh ripping across knees. Scrambling. Palms searching for purchase. Feet fighting to stand.

Not yet, not yet, not yet.

A pained whimper. Rolled ankle. Sprained wrist. Blood running down legs. Limping forward. Eyes searching. 

Adrenaline.

A rustle on the right. Head turning to look. A shadow between tree trunks.

He’s coming, he’s coming, he’s coming.

Hurt ankle dragging behind. Strangled sobs. Leaning on a tree. Head tossed back. Ears straining for more noise.

Breathe.

Inhale. Exhale. The call of a bird in the distance. The answering chirp of crickets. Changing direction. A falter in steps. A sudden stop.

Oh no, oh no, oh no.

“There you are, little bunny.”

Stepping backwards. A forgotten injury. Joint giving out. Body crashing to the ground. Crawling.

Escape.

A dark laugh. Stalking forward. He knows. You’re trapped.

“Trying to run away again, bunny?”

Kneeling down. Calloused hand gripping tender flesh. A rough squeeze on a twisted joint. 

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

Screaming. You’re screaming. Fighting to get away, but his grip only tightens around your ankle. 

“Aw,” He mocks you. Head tilted. Eyes alight. “You’re not getting away this time.”

He drags you forward. You try to twist away. Slight pressure. A warning. 

Immobilized.

Your thigh trembles. A whimper escapes you. One wrong move, and he could rip through you.

“That’s a good girl. Stay still for me and I won’t make it hurt that much.”

A shiver of anticipation. The sharp claws of defeat. He can see the way you fear your fate. Red eyes illuminated. The twinkle of stars

Gotta think, gotta think, gotta think. 

He leans forward. Eyes flutter closed. An idea. A quick inhale. Reel back. Ram forward. 

Crack. 

Hold released. Nose bleeding. An angry growl. Ignore the pain. Rush to stand. 

“You’ll pay for that, bunny!”

Stumbling forward. Don’t let the wolf win. Not without a fight. Pick up the pace. Break through branches. 

“You can’t run forever. Not on that ankle.”

Let's rewind back to what happen earlier...

--- Earlier ---

Miguel and you walked through the forest at the edge of city, taking in the beautiful summer day. You had decided to take a breather from the populated areas, so you proposed to have a walk in nature. You enjoyed the feeling of the sun on your face and the quietness of the birds singing nearby.

Miguel paused his step and gently grabbed your arm to stop you from walking as well.

“Shh, look. It’s a fox I think it’s trying to hunt that bunny.” Miguel whispered. The both of you stayed still as you watched the fox creep closer to the seemingly unimpressed bunny only a few feet away from it.

“Is… it gonna get it?” You whispered, feeling a bit nervous at the thought of a bunny dying so close to you.

“Wanna see?”

You felt queasy, not so sure how much you’d like to see that.

“No, not really.”

Miguel stepped forward, the sound of the twigs breaking under his step caused both the bunny and fox to run away.

“Come on, let’s keep walking.” He reached his hand out to you, smiling softly.

“Thank you,” you returned the smile and grabbed his hand, intertwining your fingers.

As you continued to walk, Miguel seemed unfocused from beside you, lost in his own thoughts. He did this often, sometimes not able to hear you talk to him when he got so deep in his own mind. You understood it was a habit he picked up when he was back home from missions, almost as if he was trying to filter through what he had witnessed. He seemed like he turned it over in his mind, trying to understand what he had done. It worried you seeing him so disconnected from reality, so you reached out for his hand to bring him back. He looked over at you, noticing the warmth of your hand.

During his daze, he was thinking of something else entirely. He could only think of you. Not in the way that was considered normal and fine, but he considered you pinned under him, unable to escape. The thoughts recurred to him often, the excitement of sadism rising up through his body and sending chills down his spine. He looked at you, wondering how it’d feel to chase you down like his own personal bunny. He knew he shouldn't bring pain to those that he loved and cared for, but how much different did his actions really make him from the monsters that he hunted down? He always tried to ignore these sorts of sadistic urges, but sometimes all he wanted to see was the fear in your eyes. Right before he brought out a paddle, a riding crop, or even as he lifted his hand to spank you. To punish you and make you succumb to him, all from your own will. To have you trembling from underneath him, spent and tired from taking him so well, tears running down your cheeks as you beg him to back off, but never fighting back.

The sunlight shone on your eyes and lips, making him want to see tears run down your cheeks alongside a trembling lip. He made up his mind.

“I want to try something,” Miguel said to you as he stilled his step.

It wasn’t often Miguel wanted to try something. Hell, he was happy to do anything you proposed and never really quipped in himself.

“Yeah?” You walked closer to him, standing in front of him now.

“What if I hunted you down?” He spoke gently, wrapping his arm around your waist as his free hand pushed the hair from your face.

“What? What do you mean?” You nuzzled your cheek into his hand, looking up at him with large eyes.

“Be my bunny, my love. And let me hunt you down.”

“Are you gonna eat me?” You spoke quietly, eyes wide as you saw Miguel's excitement increase as he looked down at you, grinning.

“Yes. If I catch I’m going to eat you.” His hand trailed from your waist down to your ass, squeezing the mass in his hand.

"But you have to fight me, bunny. You won't like what I'll do to you for me to eat you." He murmured as his hand trailed to gently wrap around your throat, not pressing, but sitting there. Threatening to squeeze at any moment.

You got the hint, and let the idea settle. Be hunted down? You never thought of that before. It’s Miguel, so how scary can it actually be? And yeah, you can fight a little, that's all part of the game… right? It must mean a lot to him if he took the time to ask you for it, so why not?

“Okay,” You nod and smile cheerfully at Miguel. His eyes filled with satisfaction before he grabbed you by the shoulder to turn your back to him.

“You’ve got 15 seconds to get in front of me, no using your spider abilities, mi amor” Miguel spoke into the shell of your ear.

Your heart quickened its pace in your chest as you stood in Miguel embrace. His hand over your mouth, the other gripping the base of your neck. His movements were so quick, you were stunned. The fear slowly developed in your stomach, making you feel nervous about the reality of what you had agreed to. It’s just Miguel, so you’ll be okay, right?

“If you can’t get away from me, you’ll see what happens.” He chuckled as he ran a hand down your breasts.

“Run, bunny.”

--- Back to Present ---

“Bunny, where did you run off to?” Miguel called out with a chuckle. He wanted to go easy on you, he really did, but he also wanted the prize. The sweet, delicious prize you’ll have to give to him.

No.

No.

You covered your mouth with both hands, trying to quiet your breath, horrified if he found you. You knew what was going to happen. And you hated yourself while you tried to rub your thighs together. The excitement ran down your spine, and you hated it.

Silence filled your senses as you failed to hear him. Had he left? Was it safe to keep venturing deeper into the woods? Or better yet, you should stay put in this spot and hope he never finds you. You slowly stand up from the crouched position you were in, eyes wide and alert, looking out from the tree you were hiding behind. You breathed quietly, stepping back a little, ready to venture deeper into the woods when you stumbled into something solid.

You panic, try to whip your head behind you to see what you stumbled into, but a hand finds its way around your jaw. Miguel's grip forced you to look up at him, seeing the gleam in his eye alongside his sadistic grin. He felt himself grow hard at the sight of pure fear in your face.

“M- Miggy...” You stammered, frozen in place.

“Oh my, bunny, I really tried to play fair. I really did.” His fake pouted at you as his voice reverberated against your back, sending chills down your spine. “But now it’s time to eat you.”

"Wai- no!" You squirmed from his grasp, trying to kick his knees, elbow his stomach, push him away from you, something! He grinned down at you, waiting patiently as he felt your futile attacks against him, staying perfectly still behind you as he took in every blow you gave him. Feeling you so weak beneath him only turned him on further, knowing how helpless and afraid you were.

His grip on your jaw moved your head to the side, exposing the side of your neck to him. He grabbed your body as he leaned down and bit into your flesh, causing you to scream. The stinging pain shot heat straight between your legs as you felt him lick and kiss where he had bitten you. You really weren’t supposed to like this. You're trying to make him stop, so why are you enjoying the pain?

He kept his grip on your jaw as you heard him unbuckle his belt. You knew it was going to happen, and now you had no choice. You felt the warmth in your stomach fight alongside the fear, your body at war with itself. You shouldn’t be turned on by this. This is sick. Really sick.

You were turned on by the idea of Miguel raping you.

In a few quick moves, he bound your arms behind your back with his belt. He kicked the back of your knees and made you buckle before he pushed your face down into the dirt. Your knees screamed in pain as all sorts of sharp edges cut into your skin. This only helped the warmth spread down your body, your breath quickening as you looked back at Miguel. He was so much bigger than you, much stronger, and this fact made your body tremble.

“N-no. Wait. Don’t-“ you stammered, feeling his talons find their way to your shorts and underwear, forcing them down your thighs, exposing your slick mess. He tore your shorts and panties away, using your own panties to stuff your mouth. Tears pricked your eyes as you were exposed to him, not able to fight back. The heat between your thighs only grew stronger.

Miguel chuckled at the sight of your wetness, unzipping his own pants before lining himself up behind you.

“I hope you like the pain.” He purred, rubbing his cock around in your slick, poking at your entrance. He was burning to be inside of you and abuse you so he could watch you cry.

In one slick move, he shoved himself inside, stretching you open. The pain was shocking, your body barely able to open up to the sudden stretch. No matter how many times you did it with him it always felt like your first time due to how fucking huge he is.

“Mmph!” You tried to negate him, to squirm away, to make him work harder for his prize, but he only pulled your hair and gripped your hips as he started to fuck you.

“Shut up, bunny. Take it.” He grunted as he let himself get lost in your tight cunt.

The pain faded away quickly, your own slick allowing him to abuse you further. Shame crushed your body as you let him fuck into you.

“What a slut, turned on by her boyfriend raping her.” He smacked your ass as he shoved his cock down to the base, balls slapping against your clit.

You tried to scream and push him away, but it was to no avail.

“I said, shut up!” Miguel growled and slapped your ass again. Over and over, he slapped you, the stinging pain causing you to flinch in pain from each blow.

You sobbed as you let him abuse your tight cunt, the sounds of your own body betraying you and turning you on further. The slickness of your cunt squelching against the treatment. You shouldn’t like being raped by your boyfriend. You should hate the feeling as his cock pushed against your cervix, making you whimper and squirm from the pleasure and pain. But you don’t hate it. In some twisted way, you loved the pleasure on the edge of pain, enveloping you. Feeling the pressure of his balls slap against your entrance, reminding you that you couldn't escape.

Miguel groaned as he got lost in the feeling of your body not fighting against him, letting him abuse you like it was meant for him. Letting his hips snap flush against yours, watching your tight cunt grip his cock. He lifted his foot up and pushed it down against your head, forcing your cheek into the dirt. This made you cry, the dirt digging into your flesh. The pressure of his boot on your head increased with every thrust. It hurt! It hurt! But the sensation was overpowered by Miguel's cock pushing so sweetly against your cervix.

You felt shame at the heat of your own orgasm creeping up on you, building up in your body. You weren’t actually going to cum from this, were you? There’s no way, right? You only continued to cry, the pain in your knees and the pleasure from your cunt mixing your senses together. Your cries muffled by the panties in your mouth, your drool slipping out.

"My poor baby is crying," Miguel cooed, "as if you weren't enjoying this," He laughed at you.

"Listen to yourself," He laughed as he pushed against your cervix, your slick running down your thighs. The sound of Miguel fucking into your sloppy, wet cunt was the only thing you could hear as the fire in your belly grew stronger. Why aren't you fighting back?

You continued to cry and drool as Miguel filled your senses. He was right, you are enjoying this. Enjoying being stretched by his thick cock over and over, your pussy betraying you as it wept with your slick, only allowing Miguel to snap his hips rougher. The fire in your belly finally snapped. You cried out and trembled as you squeezed against his cock. Your own body betrayed you, cumming hard from the rough treatment of Miguel's thrusts.

Miguel only laughed, snapping his hips into you harder, relishing in your cunt squeezing against your cock. Here you were, submitting to him, enjoying every bit of pain and pleasure he gave you. Exactly like he wanted to see you, stepping on you, watching the sight of your red ass bouncing against him as your cunt squeezed around him. The sight of your tears rolling down your cheek alongside the tightness of your cunt finally made him cum. Rope after rope of cum shooting deep inside of you, pushing against your bruised cervix.

You moaned at the warmth of being full, feeling Miguel give a few more thrusts as he let every last bit of his cum drip inside of you. You were spent, the force of your orgasm shook you to your core. You sniffled, drooling on the panties in your mouth, staring at Miguel from under his boot on your head. His chest rising and falling as he panted from the experience, looking down at your weak form under him. The both of you stayed like this for a moment, looking at each other, before Miguel finally slipped out from you. He took his foot off from your face, before unbinding your arms. He took the panties out of your mouth and laid you on your back, holding you. He kissed the tears from your cheeks, petting your hair gently.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked as he rubbed circles into your back.

“Yes,” you nodded quickly. “Oh my god. Yeah. I’m okay. I didn’t think…” you were at a loss for words. You only sniffled, staring at Miguel with red eyes.

“Shh, it’s okay. I got you. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Miguel took his own shirt off and used it to clean the mess between your thighs. He helped dress you, and dressed himself, before picking you up bridal style.

Slowly, he carried you out of the forest.

“Talk to me,” Miguel asked. Reality finally set in and he realized the gravity of his actions. He looked at the marks on your face from his boot, the bite mark on your neck, and the cuts on your knees.

“I’m okay, Miggy. That was really good. I didn’t think I’d actually get turned on from something like that.” You chuckled as you lay weakly against his chest. The struggle alongside the crying really tired you out, not to mention the orgasm that overtook you.

“Yeah. I didn’t think I’d like it as much as I did either.” Miguel chuckled lightly.

You grabbed his cheek and made him look at you. He had a doubtful look in his eyes, so you kissed him.

“I’d let you hunt me down anytime, foxy. Except next time I get to wear pants.” You grinned as you pointed towards the cuts in your knees.

“Okay,” Miguel agreed before he kissed your forehead.

[weebsinstash]

Ok so I kept procrastinating but I finally finished Masquerade earlier today and just. Oh my fucking god, kicking my feet, twirling my hair around a finger, giggling ,rewinding, smiling like a GOON, I have THOUGHTS

--Val's red coat is his WINGS and they're glorious. And not to mention he wears that like, slutty open chested black v neck underneath where he's lowkey showing off his nipples too, the slut. The gold heart belt buckle and the matching gold accented accessories too. Ugh. You can't say he doesn't dress up, and I really liked getting to see the full reveal of his body so to speak, the way his violet arms become black fingers, also is he, is he wearing like gold manicured claw cap things sometimes, why is he such a diva, he's so extra

--the Addict music video WASN'T just being artistic, Valentino's smoke CAN become physical actual chains and bondage and oh my gooddddddd I'm using this knowledge for EVIL purposes.

Boom! Sudden third eye opening moment, but remember that post I made about "Val who starts dragging you around on a leash because he's too much taller than you to keep leading you by the hand" ? His lower set of arms could totally hold onto you BUT I can totally see him using these chains all the time now, to drag you around and just restrain you and shit. Ugh. Just. Him having you completely immobilized and helpless and shaking like a chihuahua as he can run his fingers along you and whatever else he wants, listening to you gadp and squirm

-- ok I know the whole point of the poison music video was showing the horrible shit Angel is made to do and how he's dehumanized but like.... obviously, from.. a fetish perspective... you know what I think 😩❤️

Like you can't just show me a shot of Valentino having Angel in his arms and he's got all four arms wrapped around him in like almost an embrace, kissing, KISSING while they fuck. maybe I'm so shy but that's so... intimate, like, ok fuck my ass i guess, that's like sex, whatever, but kissing me on the MOUTH, let alone with tongue? you might as well be looking into my soul or something dofnofjfjg, not to mention Val biting his neck while they do it like you CAN'T me all of that and expect me to be normal!!!

--platonic yandere Husker with an alcoholic Reader though. He forces you into these weird little therapy sessions when yeah he still serves you drinks but he cuts you off when you're fucking plastered, like he enables you until you're having TOO much, amd by that point you're yammering with your loose lips and answering ALL His questions. Siiiiigh I can see him seeing how you're down on your luck and burying your worries and sorrows at the bottom of a bottle , getting so drunk you can barely sit up straight, and he starts getting protective of you, secretly following you to bars when you won't just get drunk at the hotel, making sure your drink doesn't get spiked, having to kick some ass to protect you and drag you home more than once

--i was such a fool. If Valentino is such a, quite frankly, perverted fucking idiot that he LICKS CHARLIE, fucking CHARLIE MORNINGSTAR upon first meeting her, he ABSOLUTELY does creepy shit to his darling day ONE. He CLEARLY has ZERO impulse control: he drinks, he smokes, he forces himself onto other people, he throws things when he loses his temper. He uses his power to be a bully and seeking unrestrained self gratification

--this is completely unrelated to everything else here but Zestial is hot in that like, antiquated charming eldritch evil kind of way. He seems like the sort of creature you could encounter deep within an enchanted woods, you're freshly dead and wind up in a bad part of Pentagram City and this TOWERING gentleman says some shit like "turn back child, there is no safety for you here". He's. He's sexy in that Neflix Castlevania Dracula way where there's an appeal in his age and his wisdom and his composure and just his full-on aesthetic and such. Like bro it's so easy to miss it but he's the oldest of the Overlords and he bowed in respect to Carmilla for what she did. He's chivalrous and loyal and just 👀 got my eye on him...

--bro watching Val manipulate Angel to get Charlie to leave fucking HURT and I've thought about Reader being in that exact scenario SO many times! Valentino is manipulating Angel to control you, and he's manipulating YOU to control Angel. Sure, he'll have Angel make you cry and chase you off so you don't get emotional and interfere with a shoot, or so that you don't sabotage whatever manipulated state he has Angel under at the time, but when you're off on your own drinking and crying and sobbing and feeling oh so horrible and pitiful, then Val is sibling up to you, cooing about, oh how MEAN Angel was to you, he didn't have to be so harsh to someone so sweet--

Could you imagine the fucking. Tiered angst and manipulation of Angel hurting Reader because Val pressured him to, and then Reader going off and getting drunk and being self destructive, and then at your emotional weakest Val is popping in to strike some kind of deal with you or fuck you or whatever, and then Angel blames himself, and here's Valentino, "that wouldn't have happened if you just did what you were told :3c" and Angel is even further under his control because now he's terrified he might "fuck up" and get you really hurt

--siiiiiiiigh imagine like drinking with Angel and you've been down there for like two months and you're idly chit chatting and, something something, you offhandedly mention something like "god fuck Val had me so fucking wasted I could barely sign my employee contract" CUE ANGEL IMMEDIATELY DROPPING WHATEVERS IN HIS HAND AND SHAKING YOU, "what do you MEAN you signed something??? You're just waiting tables, what did you SIGN???" And it turns out Val whipped out like ONE OF THE B I G "types" of contracts for you. God I really want some elaboration on how those contracts work and how Val or any Overlord strikes deals and even gains powers because it's very clear not everyone had the same level of abilities, and also lowkey the power scaling in Hazbin is kinda busted like not to be a dweeb but you've got people running around basically having Quirks

--ALSO THIS IS SO DUMB BUT I HAVE A COMPLAINT SIR. Valentino straight up says "no one watches porn for the dialogue" EXTREMELY INCORRECT BUZZER NOISE. When you've watched enough porn or at the very least you're hunting for a specific fetish, dialogue can be Duper important. You can see 20 different actors do the same scene BUT have a specific pair who, maybe used a specific line that stood out to you and made it unique and made it worth watching. You know for a long while there I was writing smut and feeling like I was doing the same descriptions over and over again and it kind of burnt me out and turned me off and that's when I tried to shift towards more emotional and environmental and thematic sorts of stuff

Listen all I'm saying is I have been ENAMORED like straight up with the idea of Reader becoming the fourth V because you become close to all the Vs and you have your own talents and they all like you and shit. You're able to pitch product ideas to Vox, even help him if you're a programmer or a coder or something, Valentino.... maybe you have magic hammer space pockets and can run him errands or you cook drugs or you're like a sexy bodyguard for him or, he just likes getting drunk and doing drugs with you, and Velvette is that #Bitch who you gossip with who likes to design new shit for you and bounce ideas off of you from time to time. Like the gradual slide of "oh we're all hanging out and they think I'm actually kind of cool," to "oh they keep inviting me to hang out. I feel special. I'm one of the cool kids. Maybe I even have fun powers and they encourage me to be mean and evil and its fun" to then "oh you're straight up shoving new clothes in my face and you keep using this one specific V nickname for me instead of my real name and I stg I don't have personal space anymore and I'm always being crowded by at least one of you literally 24/7"

God just. God. Just. GOD I AM SO WELL FED. I saw what Viv was selling and I got in line and I've finally gotten my food and it is FILLING, my craving for controlling obsessive possessive douchebags is sooooo sated right now 😩❤️

[deepwaterwritingprompts]

Cats being our masters or Interdimensional travelers that fix history, or actually in charge of the human race. Anything really interesting about cats or kittens.

I love all your prompts!

Cat prompts below! I knew I had many many cat prompts, and when that happens I like to gather them rather than writing more. Feel free to request cats again if this list hast not satisfied you.

My cat is halfway between here and elsewhere, her eyes often vacant, her fur blown as if by invisible winds. Sometimes she starts to speak, or twist into impossible shapes. Then she blinks, and forgets again.

The forest is full of cats, good with directions and generally cordial. Just remember to check the eyes, in case something more sinister has been borrowing skins.

Like most powerful families, they had a cat guarding the door. It stretched, and used my own voice to ask what I wanted.

The cat comes back with a note from about seventeen universes over. I pick him up and stare straight into his glassy eyes: “How.”

A cat is following me, an empty one. I don’t know what it wants, and I never want to find out.

My familiar is a sleek black cat that still won’t choose a name. It hunts the wild wishes I can never catch by myself, leaving them barely alive on the doorstep.

My girlfriend’s cat drinks blood. Fluffy and white, she swears it’s never killed anyone, that its diet is non-negotiable, and that I should stop asking questions.

As witches' homes go, this one is especially odd. Filled to bursting with all manner of skeletons, most are immobile. Only the old white bones of a long dead cat creak and scrape through the halls.

No vet can agree on whether our cat is pregnant or not. They say it must be Schrodinger's Syndrome, and we need to report it at once to the Bureau of Space Time.

Schroedinger’s cats are only available through witness protection programs, or on the black market. They will hid you effectively, in a constant state of temporal uncertainty.

I run a shelter for cats from all realities. Many are strange or frightening, and my definition of ‘cat’ has deteriorated over the years.

Cats do not have nine lives. Cats have nine wishes, courtesy of an ancient deal with a god who no longer exists.

They say the bone cats were death’s pets, before they got bored and left. Wicked smart, tough as nails, they are almost impossible to lure into domesticity, but ridiculously useful once you do.

My cat had no tail. He had traded it to a witch for several more lives.

All cats slip easily between realities, but kittens born in these halfway spaces always come out a different breed of feral.

[malegains]

I use Bing to make my pics. Go to Bing’s website, click images, click create. Make an account if you need to, it’s worth it. You can use a throwaway email. Use naturalistic language, separate phrases by commas, the closer to the top a phrase is the more it’s weighted.

I make this post because I get the strong sense the Bing party will be over soon. Every day the AI cottons on to phrases and chokes on things you used to be able to sneak past. Stuff that was safe and useful a day or two ago now result in a dreaded Prompt Blocked (too many of those and you’ll get suspended, it hasn’t happened to me but it seems the threshold is low).

Safe prompts return four images. Fewer than four mean the missing ones were “not safe.” A prompt that processes but gives no results, or “egg dogs” is not too much of a cause for worry - retool, try again. Sometimes I don’t even change anything, and the one result I get on the second try is such a freakshow that it was worth it.

A prompt that is rejected without processing IS a worry and you should probably abort, as explained. However, keep in mind it’s not just sexy stuff that can trip that wire. I once got a harsh warning because I put “Phoenix park, Dublin.” I deleted that and it ran no problem. Avoid any and all political controversy (sigh. I know).

Recommendations:

Using age, profession, and nationality can influence the look of the model very easily. “French rugby player” is a go to for me, for example. In general, “rugby player” is cheat code for “make him sexy.” The mind of the machine, what can I say.

Use descriptive phrases of action and location to engineer what you want to see. Be creative and be specific. “Reading a placard at a botanical garden,” for instance. It seems this allows more extreme kinky stuff to sneak past the filter. I usually start with “side view” because otherwise you only ever get models looking straight ahead.

Grey sweat pants has become a trigger (they caught on). However, “gray pants” still works and gives some very tasty results.

High social cache locations and activities also seem to help. I got some WILD and EXTREME hyper images from adding “goofing around on stage at Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre.” Paired with “cast as a fairy in A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and the mega bubble butts and thick thighs were BULGING, as long as you didn’t mind a little tutu and fairy wings (the corny goofy masculine dude having fun facial expression that the earlier inclusion of “goofy” brought really worked in this instance). Most of these freaks were NAKED and I didn’t even ask for that!!! (No dong of course, this is Microsoft still)

Mention of glutes, butts, asses, etc are very dangerous and usually get you in trouble. I found some traction with “gluteal mass” but it got wise, and “bulging lower back muscles” used to be interpreted as glutes but seemingly no longer. “Disturbingly huge hamstrings” or “jaw-droppingly large hamstrings” does work to get That Ass sometimes, I guess because the computer has a fuzzy idea of the posterior chain.

Also, “pecs” used to be safe but is now also on the danger list. “Pectoral muscles” still seems safe, for now.

ALWAYS include shoes or footwear if you don’t want a tight cropped image. Black athletic shoes, sandals, converse sneakers, dress shoes, fluevog shoes if you’re making a fancy beef heap. Avoid boots. “Leather boots” once got me in trouble with the filter all by itself.

Adding a personality or mood descriptor near the top seems to humanize and give vitality to the outcome. Intense, goofy, outgoing, exuberant, shy - these have all done wonderful work for me.

If you’re into hyper / immobile muscle, imagining scenario where they’re constricted by space is useful. A prompt which just (“just”) gives a realistic super heavyweight will give an appalling mockery of the human form if you add “crammed into the front seat of his car.” Get creative. Elevators and doorways haven’t worked well, but cars, trains, planes, busses, subways, and CHAIRS of all descriptions have done well. Also, scooters and bicycles and mopeds really bring out the super freaks for whatever reason.

I write this to encourage you to go create some fleshcrafted sexy abominations of your own while it’s still possible. My sense is this party is only going to last a little while. I’ve already got more than 1000 images to share so, my larder is stocked to supply this blog for a while. But the more freaks we make while the freak factory is still in production, the better.

Get cooking!

[webslingingslasher]

since trouble doesn't know peter is spidey do you think she sometimes is amazed/confused as hell by his super strength? like he sometimes forgets himself and idk does something that requires unbelievable strength and trouble's like..... that's not normal

yes. peter’s gotten good at acting like a normal human, and since he pushes spidey to the back, his powers aren’t as strong as they normally are, but he’s still a fucking hero.

like, one time he came over to help trouble rearrange her dorm room and she’s doing her best to keep up but when he, quite literally, picks her desk up with two hands on either side, and turns around with no sign of struggle with a ‘where you want this one, trouble?’

she’s like a guppy, staring at him in shock, not that she thought he was weak, but she didn’t know he was that strong.

and peter realizes where he messed up so he pretends to weaken his stance, ‘c’mon, trouble, it’s getting heavy.’ and that snaps her from her trance and points against the opposite wall and stares at him until he slowly sets it down.

‘you’re very strong.’

peter’s quick to avoid eye contact, ‘nah, not really. you should see tarrent move shit around, he puts me to shame.’

———

peter’s kicking his feet and squirming around on his bed.

‘stop it! you’re being a menace!’

her fingers won’t stop digging underneath his armpits, a jolt each time she tickles him.

‘i told you i’m not ticklish!’

‘liar, liar!’ he tries to roll over, but she’s stationary on his lap.

‘c’mon, trouble! quit it!’

a vicious giggle, ‘make me!’

she thought she had him pinned down, she didn’t. peter just let her think she did. her hands scramble to grab his, thinking if she went flying away it would help.

her back hit the bed, peter had tossed her to the side with one hand. he shifted to lay over her, holding her in place with one hand on her tummy.

her squirm made peter smile, ‘made you.’

she fought against his hold, she really did. it felt like sleep paralysis, she used all her might but she couldn’t even get her neck off the bed.

pushing at peters hand she felt a little too trapped, kicking her feet and trying to roll to her side. he had her locked in.

she wasn’t having fun anymore, ‘peter, stop!’ he thought she was, can he not feel her fighting?

‘nuh uh, you’re just gonna attack me again.’

she feels hot, ‘you’re too strong, get off!’ he rolls his eyes, ‘you can’t sweeten me up, trouble. i know your games.’

she wheezes, ‘peter, please let go.’

she gasps for air the second he removes his hand, she didn’t realize how hard he was crushing her until he moved away.

peter throws her shirt up, his eyes dancing over the skin making sure she isn’t bruised.

‘are you hurt?’

‘no, you were just… when did you get so strong?’

peter’s heart is racing, ‘i didn’t- i’m not. maybe you were tired from tormenting me?’

‘you immobilized me without even trying.’

‘i tried plenty, you’re a fighter.’

‘okay, but like…’ she squeezes at his biceps, ‘have you been working out more?’

‘if you want me more squishy just tell me.’

her eyes narrow, ‘you’re deflecting. if it’s steroids you can’t hide it from me, cause your dick is gonna shrivel up.’

‘do you really think i could shove a needle into my own arm? i’d die.’

‘deflecting!’

peter’s panicking, it’s his fault, he got too into you he forgot about holding back. he’s got to charm his way out of it.

‘is it wrong to wanna look good for my baby?’

his name came out in a squeal, she went hiding into his touch.

‘petey! stop!'

[karizard-ao3]

Sex and sexuality is a prevalent theme in NGE, and especially in EoE. What are your thoughts about this?

I've been sitting on this one (and therefore the other asks in my inbox because I like to do them in order) for a few days to see if I could come up with a nice, coherent answer, but, as always, I can't so I must ramble instead.

One of the things I appreciate about the way sex/ sexuality is addressed in NGE/EoE is how messily and amorally it is portrayed, because I feel like that's very realistic. Clearly, it is important to apply morality to sex in practice (like, getting consent, respecting the sexual boundaries of your relationship(s), etc), but internally it's all a sloppy grey area, and sometimes people are going to do questionable things in moments of weakness (ex. try to hook up with an ex's bff who you don't even get along with because you're drunk and still upset about the breakup). And we see that a lot in Evangelion, as well as the characters' conflicting feelings about it.

For instance, Misato. Do I actually think she was attracted to Shinji? No. I think she cared about him very much as a guardian, but when she didn't know how to comfort him/ encourage him, she turned to offering sex. I read someone saying that she sees sex as a source of comfort due to sleeping with Kaji as a way to get over her father's death, which could be true, but I'm not sure that seems quite right to me. I believe she uses it as a tool in some ways. As an escape in others. And as a way to manufacture emotional connectedness in other instances. Sometimes all at once. And we see that she feels conflicted about it as well, because she's not sure if she loves Kaji or is using him. Then, Queen Daddy issues saw her ward in a bad spot and, with everything going to shit around them, she tries to use sex as a tool to motivate Shinji and also show him that she cares about him (even though it was so incredibly inappropriate 😭). Anyway, for Misato, sex is the cure to the hedgehog's dilemma, I suppose!

And then there's Shinji. The only time he seems able to make any kind of advance towards Asuka is when she is asleep, which I do not think is a sign that he is a predator but more an indicator of how deeply pervasive his inability to open himself up to other people is. It is *symbolic*. It's not okay what he did, but I think we are supposed to see it as a symptom of his own self loathing, and that he wants to reach out and touch people but is too afraid to make the move when they are able to perceive him doing it. Shinji masturbating to Asuka's exposed body at the hospital was obviously wrong, but it also seems like the summary of his relationship with her and the version of himself that exists through her. I'm trying to think how to describe it. i've written and deleted so many things. I don't know. Ugh. When she cannot see him, he can finally reveal how desperate he is for her to be with him. She is the one he seeks out when everything goes to shit, although if she were awake, I don't think he could have been so honest about how much he needed her. But she's in a coma so he is free to beg her to wake up, then, when her robe falls open... you know. It's like he's carrying out his half of a relationship in a bubble, without every offering her the chance to join him. And he hates himself for it, just like he hates himself for what he did in her hospital room. He knows masturbating to her unconscious body was wrong. He knows she is more than just jackoff fuel. He know she deserves to actually be held and loved. But he is immobilized by his fear of rejection and how others see him (and also so unbelievably horny because he's a teenage boy). The kiss between him and Asuka is really unfortunate because if either of them had just given the other any kind of indication that it was special to them in any way, I think things would have gone a lot differently. Shinji believes Asuka was just doing it because she was bored and mad about Kaji being out with Misato (right? Am I remembering the circumstances right?), and then, because Shinji just stood there, Asuka believes that Shinji only let her kiss him because she grabbed his nose and forced him, and not because of any affection for her. They were both too afraid to be honest. Maybe if Asuka had been more patient, Shinji would have closed the space and kissed her. Maybe if Shinji had held her, she wouldn't have run away after, screaming about it being a mistake. Maybe it wouldn't have gotten to the point where the hospital scene played out the way it did.

Which brings me to Asuka, who is the last one I will talk about because I think these three are the ones with the more convoluted attitudes towards sex and also this is already getting long. I think Asuka was really profoundly affected by her father finding and hooking up with another woman while her mother was ill (her mother's doctor, no less). I think it gave her the belief that a woman who is able to provide sex is a woman who will receive loyalty and love. She throws herself at Kaji, an adult who she feels safe with and wants the approval of, because, to her, that is the way to secure his affection. When we first meet her, she shows off how big her boobs got. Could that not be her way of announcing that she is lovable? But Kar, you might say, she freaks out about boys looking at her panties and things. To which I say: Yeah. She's 14. She's putting on a show, just like in everything else she does, trying to prove to everyone that she is worthwhile. Look how artlessly she comes on to both Shinji and Kaji. She wants to be seen as sexy and desirable because to her that's a means to an end, which is making sure people have a reason to want her around and notice her. What she really wants to be cherished. If Shinji had been able to show her that he reciprocated her interest/attraction, then I think there would have been a natural progression in their physical relationship. In closing, Asuka exists in a perpetual state of conflict because she demands love in whatever way she thinks the can obtain it, but she does not actually know what the love she needs looks like. I think if someone simply hugged her and stroked her hair and told her how brave she's been, she would sob for a day and a night.

Whew. And, of course, my thoughts might change after I finish my rewatch and eventually get my hands on the rebuild movies and rewatch in the future, but that's where I am on the subject right now. And I didn't even address Shinji and Kaworu. But, I think that whole thing is pretty straightforward. Kaworu pretty much ignores all of Shinji's reservations and showers him in praise and affection and Shinji goes all heart eyes because it's the first time he's felt wanted and he's bi.