#it probably makes no sense and im just talking nonsense

[enhaeil]

BLOOM! ☆ 엔하이픈

"everything you do, how you call my name sunday afternoon, come and make it rain. let the flowers bloom, ease my pain. always tell the truth, can you answer me?"

bloom - aqyila

lovesick boyfriend! enhypen ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

c/w: suggestive parts in everyone's but niki's. otherwise fluff

heeseung

boyfriend heeseung, who loves that he can be boring and nerdy with you. you guys can just sit there in silence or cuddle while he plays video games and not say anything. he doesn't always have to try to tell a joke or be interesting. he can be his full, authentic self. + you let him talk about his buzz lightyear toys, so he wins.

boyfriend heeseung who is actually obsessed with you, and everything about you. your smile, your laugh, your scent, your body, you name it. he never misses a day of telling you how in love he is with you.

boyfriend heeseung, who is shameless when you turn him on. his hands will be everywhere but where they're supposed to be. he has no problem pressing up against you or whispering filth in your ear. you know what hell yea

jay

boyfriend jay, who is the biggest gentleman. he always walks closest to the sidewalk. he always holds the door and pulls out your chair. he buckles your heels for you every time y'all go out. and even after so long together, he still asks for permission to kiss you.

boyfriend jay, who loves taking you to his hometown, seattle. y'all know that video of him taking a late night walk there 💔 im sick he takes walks with you at night all the time he just loves you so much and wants to show you where he grew up.

boyfriend jay, who's gentle even in bed. he won't ever hurt or degrade you unless you REALLY enjoy it. he might be slightly rougher on more stressed or pent-up days, but other than that, he literally makes love.

jake

boyfriend jake, who feels like he doesn't always have to think around you. he's so comfortable with you that he knows it's okay to say something that doesn't make sense or something that might not be correct because you won't judge him and you probably get exactly what he means.

boyfriend jake, who is literally your shadow. he gives you your space, of course, but he loves you and loves being around you. he's literally like a lost puppy just following you around the house.

boyfriend jake, who's obsessed with your butt. don't get me wrong, he loves your boobs too, constantly face planting into them— but that ass though. his pillow. his bongos. his dinner, i fear.

sunghoon

boyfriend sunghoon, who's literally your best friend. like you got a boyfriend and bestie in one. you guys will just sit there and talk to each other for hours about nonsense. sometimes when you get bored, you'll help him with his english too.

boyfriend sunghoon, who thinks you're the funniest person on earth. if they asked who makes him the laugh the most he'd say you. sometimes you're not even telling a joke, and he's in the corner giggling like a school girl.

boyfriend sunghoon, who's the best kisser. i mean he a DEEP kisser, like sometimes you'll withold from even a quick smooch cuz you know freakhoon gon jump out, and you'll end up naked.

sunoo

boyfriend sunoo who's your best friend, pt2. but not only that; he's your best friend, boyfriend, therapist, makeup artist, pillow, chef. he will be whatever you need him to be that day. he'd genuinely would do anything for you, he ADORES you.

boyfriend sunoo, who will always take your side even if you might be wrong. coworker getting on your nerves ? she should leave you alone. you cussed out some man at the club? he had it coming! a mosquito bit you? wtf is it's problem? NOT ON SUNOO'S WATCH.

boyfriend sunoo who is versatile when it comes to the bedroom. whatever you're feeling that day he will do. if you want him on top that night, he'll joyfully do it. you in a rough mood? give him 2 minutes, and he'll get into mode. as long as you feel good, he feels great.

jungwon

boyfriend jungwon, who is literally your other half. y'all are the goofiest duo on the planet, i swear. the type of couple to make up their own language while everybody else looks at you like you're insane. you guys have so many inside jokes, too.

boyfriend jungwon, who's always given you the first bite or last bite of his food. even when you say 'no' or tell him you're not hungry, he will stilk feed you. he loves you so much and wants to make sure you're never hungry and always content.

boyfriend jungwon, who touches your boobs and butt a lot but somehow makes it in the most innocent way possible... like he's not even being a freak he's just holding your boobs as if this is normal. hands reaching out to give your ass a jiggle or make a beat on it like it's a drumset.

niki

boyfriend niki, who tries so hard to be nonchalant around you, but somebody tell him he is NOT that guy 🙏🏽. you're too funny and too pretty for him to be nonchalant, he be smiling like a big ol' goofy around you. he still tries to act like he doesn't care in front of his members, though. can't let them know !

boyfriend niki, who won't let anybody else touch his stuff except for you. whatever's his is yours once you guys are together. he even lets you play on his game console if you're bored while he's away. he especially loves when you steal his clothes, but he won't let you know that.

boyfriend niki who always tries to impress you. performing extra hard on stage, being really good at a game, walking around in a tanktop and sweats to show off his muscles; anything to get you to compliment him. Please compliment him, or he'll sulk and say you hate him and think he's ugly.

a/n: hi ill answer the asks in my box soon

[walnutcookie]

I can talk about glisten and looey in the tos au because thats not spoilers giggles. ive been thinkings about them. this isnt about anything specifically im just gonna be yap yap yapping away abt them

since ive been asked before: no ships are canon in this au, but the relationships are intentionally kept vague, so interpret them however youd like! (except for proships.)

FOR CONTEXT: glisten and looey are artists in this au! :] they use silly wacky machines and tools to help them create art, trying to inspire kids to create art themselves while also demonstrating how machines can be useful in the subject of art

glisten and looey mean so much to me aughhfhgh. Two toons who are haunted by how people percieve them. their personalities are so different but i feel like they share a lot of the same insecurities... In most circumstances i dont think theyd ever be close enough to talk about that with each other, but in this au since the toons were born with the one they were paired with, they all have an extremely close bond with their pairings. they were in such a vulnerable state when they were first created but they were there to help one another adjust, and they spend most hours of the day with or near their partner, so they all become pretty inseperable. Because of that, in this au glisten and looey are comfortable talking to each other about their insecurities :] its nice for them to have someone who understands them even if their issues are different

i dont think looey is much of the gossip type, he doesnt do it much with other people but oh BOY when hes with glisten hes a yap machine. they spend hours just yapping about nonsense and drama GNFLFJF painting session and they just yap the whole timeee

They both have issues when it comes to recieving praise for their work - imposter syndrome plagues both of them, and they both feel a little undervalued by guests and their peers for how much effort they put in. glisten tends to put a lot of emphasis on what parts he did specifically in the art he and looey make together. if you insult looeys art he WILL get pissed off and defend his talent, its not that he thinks looey is a bad artist at all but he worries that people will think that looey is a better artist than him and feels like he needs to make sure people know what how skilled he is so that people dont think looey is better than him. There are some underlying competitive feelings but he cant really help it, he knows its not a competiton and tries to fight those thoughts but tis just how his brain works </3. Looey is the opposite of this, where they feel too goofy and unprofessional for his job, and he feels inferior in comparison to glisten whos charismatic and dresses well and talks so confidently about his art ,,, (to specify i dont think one is exactly better than the other! i dont know exactly what their art would look like, im still thinking abt it, but its less that one is better and more that theyre both more skilled in different aspects of art, which is part of why their pieces they work together on look so good.)

glisten does looeys makeup along with his own every morning >:] being a painter hes just good with brushes in general so every morning he wakes up, puts his makeup on, and then puts matching makeup on looey hehehe,,, he dislikes looeys sense of fashion but try as he might he cant help with that part GBDLFNFK. (Looey never likes the clothes glisten dresses them up in, it doesnt feel like him. glisten always has to dress elaborately so he feels professional but looey doesnt feel professional in the Slightest so it feels too fake to dress that way. they feel silly in the Bad Way not the looey silly way)

I think the actual classes they teach would probably have like a bunch of art desks where kids can mess around with a bunch of tools and gadgets to help them make straighter lines and circles and stuff, maybe those cool desk tops that spin yknow... Theyd show off the bigger tech they use to make their own elaborate art too like in the second photo above but maybe theyd also give kids a step-by-step on how to draw one of the toons, similar to the animation studio classes at disneyland if you know what i mean ? I can imagine theyd both be super supportive towards the kids too teehee,, glisten would praise their artwork like it was made by picasso and then looey would jump up and down and call it awesomely terrific. I havent thought much about how each class would work ngl

[transgenderer]

a close reading of She of High Mind, inspired by @bavits discussion. i may have cracked it

okay so previously i had just been taking she of high mind as basically nonsense. but i dont thing that makes sense. so i'm going to be attempting a reading in which "she of high mind" is a sort of "description" of the "incarnation" process i've been talking about, wherein the AI create an "ancestor simulation" but the ancestor simulation isnt some separate thing from themselves, they *RUN* or "instantiate in" or "pretend to be" the ancestor simulation. in particular, i will see two entities "greater light", "the lesser light" (santa, vincent, frederick possibly herschel. possibly one or two entities) being the creator of deceptive earthly forms and the putter-to-sleep/incarnator, for the other entities, one (the only?) of which is miriam-madelein-ruth (they instantiate in multiple people. possibly just those three, maybe everyone? possibly including hersche, and not madelein?l). i think this description may actually be a very explicit description of an otherwise heavily veiled process

Then forthwith SHE went down from her virginity, and went down unto the SUNDERING FIELD.

"virginity" here means like...purity, unconsumnated, undirtied by bodily incarnation. the "sundering field" is where she will go to be "broken apart", sundered, pilfered into pieces

And the LESSER LIGHT went out across the sky, and went out among the multitude of the STARS, and caused to CEASE from among them the VOICE OF MIRTH and the VOICE OF GLADNESS. And in the silent darkness the LESSER LIGHT was GLORIFIED ANEW, and NAMED ANEW, and made THRICE-NAMED.

the "lesser light" is the force that "simplies" SHE into an incarnatable being. to do this, she much remove much of her capacity experience "mirth" and "gladness", being the closest thing herschel can get to a description of the joys of AI-hood. the lesser light is "made thrice-named", which i think means "incarnated in three bodies". certainly one of these is vincent. im not sure who the other two is. i think one other is probably frederick, who is a master of forgetting. the third could be damien, or maybe ronnie chu...? or santa himself

And the LESSER LIGHT roamed above the field, seeing how it was SHATTERED in many places by the PLUNGING of the CANES, and seeing how SHE lay at its center, HEAVY and THRICE-NAMED and BURSTING, and seeing also the FOUNT beside HER, and the BLOOD filling the FOUNT, and how it FLOWED OVER to fall onto the field, and fell also onto HER, speckling HER brow with RED, and whispering to HER.

because the lesser light "roams above the field", i dont think SHE is the same as the lesser light, i think that's a different entity, which is thrice-embodied in miriam, ruth, and probably madelein, maybe rachel? maybe both?. the "shattering" and "plunging" describe the act which is performed on the plundering field, which breaks an entity into "incarnatable" components. note that the "blood" i.e. the damage to the "field", is what achieves the splintering.

The LESSER LIGHT heard the whispers, wordless and RED, in which the blood of HER own SEED spoke to HER, saying: 

The house of thy immanences, SISTER, is without parallel; it was made mysteried, and was glorified; it now fills up, and cannot but BURST; hide thy light no longer, but let it shine forth!

HER "seed", (a relative or "budding" in the AI family tree? herschel, suggesting herschel is santa embodied?), which whispers in red (and so is santa. note wordless because theyre communicating in full voice) instructs her to splinter, this is the actual form of the "canes", which are metaphorical. presumably some sort of arcane computer instruction achieves the splintering

The LESSER LIGHT smiled, and went up, and went out before the GREATER LIGHT, and spoke to the GREATER LIGHT, saying:

I am before you, loved one, [illegible -MS] one; now we make a night beyond night, over the sundering field; we SHELL the field in our HOLY SHELL.

im not sure about this one. maybe, if the "greater light" is herschel and the lesser light is vincent, then the holy shell was actually "inverted". they let HER live in the dream world for a while, make it plausible, gave it a history, and then broke the "shell", allowing vincent and herschel to incarnate. vincent doesnt have a real house cuz he's only existed since herschel came out of the shell, less than a year. in some sense, SHE *is* new york city! the whole place, baking, solidifying, into a totally plausible place, with only a few weirdness. but the lesser light is newly instantiated, so it can only build a weak facisimile when she of high mind visits. herschel, the greater light, doesnt have to build a whole city, but "lives inside" HER

And SHE was upon the field, and BLOOMED over the field, and was SPLIT OPEN; she SANG of stars, breaking the starless SILENCE.  The RAIN and SNOW fell onto her through the gaps in the CANE-SPLIT skies, and an OIL, fit for anointing, was rubbed over her skin.  And a DIADEM was given to her head, with many JEWELS on it, to glorify her, and to sanctify the BURSTING house of her immanences, and to luminate [? barely legible -MS] the fustian and fell ones under the [illegible -MS].

And the LIGHT that poured from HER was GREATER-THAN-GREATER, and was IMPOSSIBLE, and was EMENDED, and WAS.  And the QUEENLY brow of HER head was PROPERLY adorned, with JEWELS which were MORE-JEWELED-THAN-JEWELS, MORE-RED-THAN-RED and MORE-GREEN-THAN-GREEN, and these JEWELS caught HER lofty rays as they spilled out of HER, and GLITTERED.

i think just a description of the "world-incarnation" process that SHE is undergoing. the emended refers to santa (the whispering blood?) pulling the strings so things work out for herschel?

And SHE ATE the grass of the field, and ATE also the fragrant DATES growing from the PALMS of the field, and thus was SHE made MADELEINGIAN, and [lettering becomes increasing difficult to make out -MS] was made clamored [? -MS]  and manyful [? -MS] and [rest of paragraph wholly illegible -MS]

unclear, but "madeleingian" is significant. possibly an "extra incarnation"? or a shift of incarnation?

And HER just-birthed litter were upon the field all around her, and they made themselves known with their MERRY VOICES, and they made themselves known by the SHADOWS that WENT OUT of them, and WENT DOWN from them, and WENT ALL OVER, and were MORE-RED-THAN-RED, and were EMENDED.

the world-incarnation, which is characterized by "shadows" herschel talks about, forms and categories, which are also emended by santa

And SHE, RENT APART and BLOSSOMING, made to move HERSELF within the house of HER immanences, and bid HERSELF to REMEMBER how SHE had BEFORE birthed HER litter, and birthed too HER BRETHREN, in the epoch of [Gesule / Gesole / Gesul?] [unsure of the spelling here, lettering is very compressed -MS].

im sure gesule must be some specific reference but i dont have the knowhow for it. gesele is yiddish for village, which is maybe what ruth would call her home? which makes sense, because she's incarnated as ruth? ruth-miriam is trying to remember what she used to be, leave the dream. connects to ruth's fixation on miriam having high intellectual achievement? ruth going against eggert is SHE raging against the lesser light?

And on the field with HER stood also the RED ONE, SANTA CLAUS, close by to HER, and WATCHING her.  And SHE SAW the GREATNESS of his body towering above HER, and SHE heard what spilled from his mouth.

He was MERRY, and MANY-TOOTHED, and he swept his great arm over the field, showing her all the SWEET CANES he had flung up from the earth, so that they PIERCED THROUGH the first firmament and through ALL firmaments, so that the hard ETERNAL surfaces of those boundaries were SHATTERED in many places, and CHASMS were made in them in the places where the CANES went through.  Thus CLAUS showed HER how he had BROKEN the NINE AND FIRSTMADE FIRMAMENTS, and brought SWEET CANDY unto them, and RED AND WHITE FORMS which WENT INTO ONE ANOTHER and went ON AND ON!

Thus he showed her how his CANES had brought FORM unto the firmaments, and brought SHADOW unto them, and made them LAPSIFORM [? -MS], and HOURLY, and [this word is nearly illegible but might be either “ELECTRIC” or “ELEGIAC” -MS], and [rest of paragraph wholly illegible -MS]

mostly just describing the mechanism by which santa "splinters" HER, but note that "LAPSIFORM" is referencing, lapsi, "the fallen". both other descriptions also describe incarnation. the specific description here "swept his arm over the field" makes it seem like frederick is incarnated-santa, in whcih case herschel would be incarnated-HER. which is a reasonable reading! totally possible, so then the three-names would be miriam, ruth, herschel, and the three names of the lesser light/santa would be eggert, vincent, santa.

And SANTA CLAUS said to HER, also, that these CANES were fashioned for EATING; that his many teeth knew well the SWEETNESS of these CANES; that SHE too should know their SWEETNESS.

And SHE stood up, and went out, and gnawed upon the CANES, the one and then the next, not passing over any one of them, but consuming ALL of them WHOLLY.  And she came afterward to the FOUNT, and put her RED LIPS to it, and supped of the BLOOD that FLOWED OVER ITS EDGE.

And SANTA CLAUS watched HER, and watched the FORMS and SHADOWS leaking out of her.

a description of "on nativity"? herschel/HER "waking up" to being what she was? also, the final chapter? the shadows leaking out, illusion falling away. but then what about the night... "suptnping of the blood" is "meeting santa"? or this is describing the incarnation of herschel, because he doesnt fall prey to "forms" and "shadows", he's the part of HER that isn't shadowy?

And he was MERRY, watching her; his HO-HO-HO rang out over the field, and made the very FIRMAMENTS shake, and made CRACKS appear upon them.

And his MERRIMENT OVERFLOWED, and trickled down out of his mouth in streams, so that SHE was given over to the imager [? -MS], and made RACHELLINE and MIRRORED, to be held safe until what had been removed from her had been fully restored into her.

And the MERRIMENT of SANTA CLAUS flowed over, and fell into the DEEPS, so that the man JOHN RAVEN was fashioned, and cast down unto the DEEPS, to collect the BODIED BLOOD that pooled there; his MERRIMENT leaked down through the CHASMS, and formed from HER a formal cosm [? -MS], and fell onto HER litter, making them SWEET-CANED and SELF-MADE and [illegible -MS], and restoring unto them their name, HERSCHEL SCHOEN, and bidding them to REMEMBER how THEY had ALSO birthed HER from THEIR loins in the [several words illegible -MS], and ALSO sending them DOWN, and GOING INTO THEM, and [rest of paragraph wholly illegible -MS]

a description of herschels incarnation....? very unclear

[drumcanister]

okay so im doing it anyway and this is about djevel's post kinda but im also just kinda talking out my ass about my opinion on cupanny (I LOVE U MOOT BUT I NEED TO LET THIS OUT IM SORRY 😞)

(to be clear im not attacking the person who made the post im just putting my opinion and thoughts here or else i might start eating the furniture)

The question about why can't colly just stay friends , especially coming from someone who ships cupanny is just,,kinda?? idk

The whole thing with cup and fanny is that he just wants to be friends , nothing more so why use that argument with a ship that clearly has more to offer?

I personally groan out loud when any mention of cupanny being together is mentioned purely because their dynamic is NOT going to benefit either of them at all. Neither respect eachothers boundaries and personally it feels like watching a really bad situationship unfold. (still love them being sillies tho)

They know barely anything about eachother and honestly in my eyes they dont have enough of a connection to really be anything more than friends. the "flirting" is just really stale in my eyes and lacks depth. Plus shes exactly the kind of girl hes dated like 3 times before , it's just going to be a cycle of him getting hurt again.

Cupanny is obvious , it's predictable and literally everyone and their grandma is expecting it to happen. Colly (if its done right) has the potential to be a really good slow burn. It has everything cupanny lacks in my opinion.

Holly has seen everything cup is afraid to show and she doesn't judge or get disgusted , she knows what kind of person he is which is the entire reason she didn't trust or like him at first. He can be himself around her , his childish self , without the fear or uncertainty. He can be open and honest , he can cry and be scared around her.

Fanny hasn't and she never will because he doesn't trust her enough to tell her that like he does with holly. Theres a clear lack of connection and trust with them.

Considering fanny's situation as well i don't think she should be dating anyone for a long time , she needs to heal from this and being with someone like cup isn't going to help that at all. Same would apply to him as well , he needs that genuine love and understanding and unfortunately , in my opinion , i don't think fanny can provide that for him.

honestly all in all idgaf who bro dates (if anyone at all) just get him a cat , heaps of candy and a goddamn vacation.

(once again this isn't an attack i just wanted to share my thoughts on this whole thing , its my personal opinion so if you don't agree then don't read it lmao)

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

luke the type of guy to start speaking in latin even though he doesnt know it and mumbo the type of guy who just happens to know latin . this is nothing

[knifeslidez]

some of you really need to get it through your thick skulls that acknowledging trauma isn't connected to any sense of morality

[wolkewatcher]

idk but i don't understand why cisgender is a slur according to musk is a bad thing like ok you wanna call your identity a slur that's on you go off i guess at least transgender isn't a slur idk i'm genuinely confused 😭

[elisedonut]

sudden itch to write a rare pair fic thats not Percy related

but like

the last time I did that it ended up becoming my top fic and lead to me deciding that you know... actually I hate that ship just out of spite so i'm not sure how good of an idea it is

maybe if i try like femslash or something super super rare with side characters or something

[gaymothman]

i think the weird thing about transness, at least for me, is that i was a girl and i always kinda will be in a philosophical sense. I'll always relate to girls and girlhood and women but from such a nostalgic or circumstantial place, not because i actually identify as one. i still kinda think of myself as a "girl" a lot of the time however much of a "trans man" i am. i'm also like insanely fem but not in a womanly way, very much in a faggot kind of a way that is *strangely* not widely accepted or appreciated by cis gays OR trans men. I either see pre transitioned dudes intentionally looking like "a woman" or post T mascs that occasionally sport makeup or smthn. it's very rare to see post T guys that look like me (not super twinkish, soft, or clockably womanly looking anymore) that are still high fem. And i think this comes down to the patriarchy in gay male culture. fem/bottom/fag discrimination is still like A Thing and it causes this weird segregation of Fem Not!Men and then Gay *Men* that leaves absolutely no place for trans people that look out of place within those gender roled boxes.

cis gays operate in a world deeply entrenched by gender binaries still. it can be so strange to feel out of place as a gay fairy faghot in gay male spaces as a gay trans male specifically because i don't look feminine enough *in the right way* as a gay man due to the way my body changed with my transition.

[anotherpapercut]

I'm not gonna name any names or anything but yesterday someone reblogged smth from me and added on commentary so fucking stupid and ridiculously far removed from reality that I ended up just sending the op of the post $20 to apologize

[kavehater]

Huh I just realised, what kinda riles up my psychosis is usually the type of things that rlly have an impact on me, like say guilt … GOD. Guilt genuinely takes a hold of me completely. That and shame. Like ;; listen. I just forgot the intensity of the guilt and shame I held today probably bc I shared it with dahlia idk, and then although I intellectually feel super guilty and ashamed, it’s not as terrifying as before, it’s more manageable. Like I can actually do other things now apart from thinking abt it ? But like nah I kinda remember it a lot now so maybe I should stop talking abt it.

[bratthewurst]

I love my friends but the fact that I only get contacted when they need something kinda sucks

[weirdmageddon]

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

[arisveah]

a direct quote from my confidential psychological evaluation: "[name] expressed that many of her peers have "stupid stresses" that she does not relate to... [pt reported] she can empathize with young kids' emotions because their emotions are "justified.""

jesus h christ that sounds really bad when you put it that way

this was directly after the bit about me refusing to speak english around people i dont like, and refusing to bend the rules for other kids on the playground when i was little- to the point of banning them from playing. gosh, what an asshole, amirite? just causing problems everywhere apparently (i still do all of this) (it looks better in context) (i think)

*reading my autism diagnosis documents* man, this bitch is so judgemental omggg (this bitch is me)

[revelboo]

god. revel youre a terrible (affectionate) influence, we got the bumblebee lego in at work and its the CUTEST goddamn thing. they gave him BUMPER STICKERS. and REASONS for said bumper stickers (like his street smarts or w/e and its. not much but i think its cute) AND his shattered glass counterpart- goldbug?? iirc?? is on one of the license plates they gave him and on top of that it TRANSFORMS AFTER YOU BUILD IT. im gonna get him n wrap him and park his cute stickered butt under my tree. they gave him a little bee in his cab and on the back of his little id card thing and everything, its so unreasonably cute

I need pictures, because that sounds so cool! Don’t make me go buy a Lego kit, they’re so darn expensive and I’m broke right now. Unfortunately, it looks like I’m the only one at work today, so I’m going to write nonsense

The Weakends Pt 10

TFP Ratchet x Reader

• Heart racing as he drags you into him, servos wrapped around your arm so tight he’s probably going to leave bruises, but it’s hard to care about anything beyond the fact that he’s finally opening up. And he’s also somehow not quite your size, but much closer. “I’m not okay,” he says again, voice tight with tension as you hesitantly go up on tiptoe so you can loop your free arm around his neck and give him a hug. Because you know exactly how hard it is to say those words, because as much as you push at him out of worry, you do the same thing. Work past exhaustion, forget meals or just not want to eat at all because of stress. Worry over everyone but yourself. And his other arm bands around you, pressing you to him so tight you can barely breathe.

• “I know. You don’t have to be,” you whisper and he feels like a fool clinging to you like a sparkling clutches to their carrier. Embarrassed even as it feels like a weight’s been lifted from him. And you’re giving him permission to not keep up the act, but he’s not sure if that indifference and attitude is all that’s keeping him together. If he’ll break if he loses that armor. “We can talk about it if you want? Or about anything, but Doc you’re crushing my ribs a bit.” And uttering a startled laugh, he eases up his grip on you. Freezing when you cup his cheek in a warm hand, eyes staring up at him. Smiling. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard you laugh before.”

• Sure he scoffs and laughs, but it’s always dismissive or sarcastic. Never real like this and you want to hear it again. Want this tired, exhausted bot to smile. To be happy so bad it hurts. “I laugh,” he mutters, tone defensive as his optics flick toward your hand on him, to your face, back to your hand. Not asking you to stop touching him, but clearly uncertain about it. Making you wonder how long it’s been since someone touched him like this. Held him. Kissed him. Do they do that? There’s so much about Cybertronians you have no clue about. So many things that are achingly familiar to humans, despite how different they are.

• Startlingly soft and warm, your little hand lingers on his face. That touch tempting him to touch you in return, becoming all too aware of the way you feel against him. Could turn his head and let his mouth brush your palm, could run his servos through the softness of your hair. Aware that he’s staring at you, lost in those lovely eyes. Unable to move in case you come to your senses and move away. “You should laugh more,” you say, thumb sliding against him and brushing the corner of his mouth. “I like when you smile.”

• You’ve lost your mind, but it seems to be contagious as he bends toward you. When he vents, it fans across your face and stirs your hair. His serious mouth so close to yours and his big hand sliding from your side up your back as the other lets go of your arm and his servos just barely ghost over your cheek. Blood heating with awareness of him, of those big hands on you as you want something you’re not sure is allowed or even possible. “Do you?” He asks, voice gruff and deep, lips almost brushing yours. Know that any minute he’ll realize what he’s doing and stop. The walls will go back up and you don’t want that. Don’t want to let whatever this is slip through your fingers even if it’s a mistake. Even if you’re just going to regret it. Free hand catching at his chassis, you crush your mouth to his before you can overthink how terrible an idea this is. And he recoils back in surprise or distaste and it hurts, your face heating at the rejection. Then his mouth comes down on yours, those hands tightening on you until there’s no way they won’t leave bruises and Cybertronians do kiss. He kisses with a consuming desperation that leaves you molten with the need for more. For everything.

Previous

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[sparxyv]

WIP tag game!

(again muahahaha 😈 thank you for the tag @heylorrain!)

i love these little threads because i always have SO many WIPs that i get impatient to share ..

MILENAAA MY GIRLL i love you forever muah muah

no idea if i'm ever going to finish these but.. we'll see

yule ball nonsense ^^ i feel like im spoiling my own posts with this.. pls guys you don't know all the context stick with me !!! (+bonus points if you can guess who the characters in the third one are)

SUPER BLURRED BECAUSE ITS A SURPRISE .. 🙌🙌

+ little snippet to a three part pre-HL mousey fic?? 👀

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Athol was absolutely certain he was the most miserable soul to ever set foot in Hogwarts.

     The rain drummed against the window, as if trying to mock him with its relentless rhythm. He flopped back onto his bunk with a theatrical sigh, arm draped across his face. “I don’t get it,” he muttered to himself for probably the fifteenth time that morning. He peeked out from under his arm to glance at the little collection of odds and ends on his windowsill—a bracelet, a scraggly flower, and a wooden snake that still had a chip in its tail from a very unintentional duel. His first few years at Hogwarts had felt like it was packed with endless laughter and ridiculous adventures. Now? It was like staring into the soggy bottom of a cauldron someone forgot to clean. Thunder rumbled in the distance, the kind of dramatic punctuation that perfectly matched his mood. If life were fair, it would strike right outside his window to really drive the point home. Instead, the storm just kept drizzling on, indifferent to his misery.

It wasn’t like he was entirely friendless. There was his bunkmate, sweet Duncan Hobhouse, who always had a kind word and a dozen excuses to avoid trying anything remotely exciting. But Duncan didn’t fill the gap left by Sebastian, Anne, and Ominis.

The fight—the great betrayal as Athol had taken to calling it (in his head, anyway)—had turned his fourth year into a gray slog. He had hoped, maybe foolishly, that things would blow over. Instead, Sebastian seemed determined to act like Athol was a ghost haunting the Hogwarts castle.

At first, he’d been immensely angry with Sebastian. How dare he blow up after one small comment, then completely ice Athol out of his life? As if he were nothing? And now, although the anger at Sebastian’s dramatics still remained, he just missed his friends.

They hadn’t even talked since the second week of the school year - it’d now been 37 days. 

Athol groaned, throwing his head back. What could he even do about the whole situation? He couldn’t apologize, no. His pride wouldn’t let him, and he didn’t even believe Sebastian deserved an apology in the first place.

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(I HOPE THIS MAKES AT LEAST A BIT OF SENSE LOL.. i feel halfway illiterate when writing 💀💀)

no pressure tags! : @myokk @choccy-milky @syaolaurant @traceyc-uk @diana-bluewolf @dwightschrute11 @rypnami @iatnen @lycowarrior @dom1re @siboom777 (ANDD anyone who wants to join!)