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grumpygreenwitch · 2 years ago

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The Fairy and the Prince #23 + #24 + #25 + #26

Part 1 - Part 2 - Parts 3 & 4 - Part 5 - Part 6, 7 & 8 - Part 9 & 10 - Part 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 & 16 - Part 17, 18, & 19 - Part 20, 21 & 22 - Part 23, 24, 25 & 26 - Part 27, 28, 29 & 30 - Part 31, 32, 33 & 34 - Part 35, 36 & 37 - Part 38, 39, 40 & 41 - Part 42 & 43 - Part 44 & 45 - Part 46 & 47 - Part 48, 49, 50 & 51 - Part, 52, 53 & 54 - Part 55 & 56 - Part 57, 58, 59 & 60 - Part 61, 62, 63, 64 & 65 - Part 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71 & 72

Originally posted 11/23/2022

Adam did little more than sleep that week, growing restless and impatient the longer he was kept abed. Master Leminy came to see him, startling the young prince with his quiet manner, awkward as he was doling out good wishes. He didn’t say it, but Adam believed the Master of Scions knew, or at least suspected, what had happened the night before Rickard’s departure.

Prince William came by, briefly, to drop off a small bundle of candies. He’d been sick a few times in his life, and the candies, he told Adam, helped with the almighty foul flavor of the medicine. But beyond that he hardly knew what to say or what to do with himself, and he fled gratefully when Adam declared himself too weary for visitors.

He received a letter from his parents. His father had written the larger share; it was a long and stern lecture that on Adam’s shoulders rode the future of their family, and it was not for him the freedom to take such risks with his health. Adam read long enough to know he’d have been better off not receiving it at all and threw it off to one side.

But inside it, folded small and carefully sealed, was a note from his mother and a small, pressed linden flower. She bid him make tea with it, hoped he would eat properly and make friends, and dress warmly in the cold season to come. It was a bland, nice, very proper, very formal note. Unlike his father’s vast and complex signature, she simply appended ‘Eleanor’ at the end.

It told Adam very loudly who was responsible for him never getting mail from home, and confirmed that he likely never would again.

But in the end he was freed from his unjust captivity, convinced that lungs were quite as evil as blackberry brandy, and determined never to have anything to do with either again. The motley crew ran wild through the late autumn woods, stealing bits of honeycomb from the royal apiaries and picking late pears and apples from gnarled, hidden trees. They waded through creeks until both their toes and their lips were blue with the cold, and warmed themselves in hidden fires. They climbed up to wait and watch as the wind snagged the last straggling leaves from their branches.

In the end, winter came and only Needlemaw remained, though she only spent her nights with Adam; all of her time otherwise was consumed with William. Adam filled his days with jousting and fencing; he thought himself passingly good at both and didn’t mind teaching the younger princes, minded again of what he’d told his older peers at William’s birthday party: it was good to make friends of someone who might eventually be your king.

He began to feel watched.

Sometimes it was a large black bird on the bare branches of a tree, or perched on the fence surrounding the riding yard. Sometimes it was a black cat with eyes like mismatched chips of ice, sprawled bonelessly on the sill of one of the windows of the fencing room, watching the princes come and go with shouts and calls and points assigned. Sometimes it was an immense black dog, larger than a wolf, with lambent, uneven eyes. He’d known there would be a price to pay for his interference with Rickard, but when the days dragged on and the feeling remained without anything actually happened, he began to feel his patience wearing thin. Before he could do anything about it, however, Needlemaw came to give him her real-for-real farewells until spring. The feeling of being watched left with her.

Adam focused on his studies, as always he did. The Dowager Queen had insisted on adding new teachers, who brought dancing and painting, poetry and theater to the palace, arts to keep the spirit alive. Adam wasn’t sure what to make of a curriculum that had him trying to paint pears on a canvas in the morning and learning how to fight in the middle of an unbroken line of salt or iron filings without disturbing it in the afternoon. But it was all knowledge, even if some of it was terrible knowledge, and he drank it all deeply.

Winter was dismally cold, bitter and short. Fresh young leaves froze twice on the branch when the trees rushed to unfurl them in the unseasonably warm days. Several young trees and not a few older ones had to be felled in the Royal Gardens when such trickery of the weather killed them from exhaustion. Adam went into the wood and clung to the immense trunk of the gracious linden tree. “I can’t hear you,” he whispered. “I can’t understand you. I can hope you do both, though. I think you do. Wait. Please, just wait. Linden will know when it’s safe. Wait.”

No trees bloomed with too-early green in that little clearing.

His birthday came and went. His tea time with the Dowager was filled with questions about Rickard, and Adam felt no safer answering those than he had any of the questions of the years before. While he played with his untouched teacake, the Queen Dowager set aside her cup. “You don’t like me very much, do you, Adam.”

He nearly dropped the teacake. “Her Majesty is most kind and generous,” he stammered, sounding strangled even to himself.

She waved the words aside. “I don’t mean the crown. I mean me. Your grand-aunt.” She paused to consider. “Why, I actually am your grand-aunt, Eleanor is my niece, directly.” She seemed briefly surprised. “You don’t like me.”

Adam pressed his lips shut until he felt them sting. “There are,” he managed at last, as if the words were someone else’s, “a lot of dead princes out there. It would make it hard to like anyone.”

She went very still, that graceful woman with exquisitely coiffed silver hair and delicate features like a china figurine, with his eyes flashing on her face. “So there are,” she said simply. “Would you rather I give the throne to the Folk in the Woods?Do you know what that would do?”

He remained stubbornly silent, knowing anything he said would be used against him.

“It wouldn’t be just dead boys out there anymore. It would be everyone, anyone. Anyone they felt like taking. Arditty, your friend Beliwick, the maid that’s actually been teaching you deportment. Prince William. The dogs in their kennels, the cook’s babe in her crib. Anyone.” She stared him down. “Would you rather that?”

“They’re not all bad.”

“Perhaps. But I’ve met none good,” she replied, sipping at her tea. “If that should change, well.” She poured herself some more tea. “I hear you went to the woods and declared you don’t want the crown.”

“I was just wondering what would happen if I did it,” he admitted, feeling his face burn. He’d been thinking about the Folk in the Woods hearing him; it hadn’t occurred to him that it would be even more embarrassing if someone else did.

“And? Did something happen?”

“No.” Adam blew out a long breath. “I’m guess I’m not old enough for it to matter.”

She laughed a little at that. “There will be time enough for you to speak such words when they matter, Adam. I will be sorry to hear them, because I think you would make a fine king. But I think all of us, here in the palace, we’ve been robbed of quite enough agency that I will not force you to silence.” When he looked at her in shock, her delicate silver brows went up. “Did you think I’d do otherwise?” She shook her head. “You don’t like me; of course you’d think that.” Drawing a deep breath, she sat up as rigidly as if she where on the throne, holding court. “I have written to your family. I’ve let them know that I don’t approve of their abandonment. If you should take the crown someday, you would be quite within your right to cut them off from your life and your power and your sphere of influence.”

“But I don’t -” She lifted a hand and Adam felt obediently silent out of good training.

“I expect no miraculous results. Balthazar is an idiot, and quite unworthy of your mother. But I think we can expedite a proper response and still remind you that, while you don’t have to like your monarch, you should still be somewhat loyal to her. You are leaving.”

“What?!”

“In two weeks you’re leaving for Astimonde, along with a dozen of your peers. The ones most outstanding in their studies,” she added. “You’ll be touring the colleges and collections of the realm at large, adding a personal, practical touch to all that you’ve learned from your teachers and your reading. My advisors estimate the trip should take six, seven months.”

Adam stood frozen, his heart gone to a stone, his thoughts gone to a whirlwind without meaning. The tea tasted like bile in his mouth. He bit back every protest, knowing she wouldn’t care. He swallowed every potential argument of logic, knowing they wouldn’t move her. “Is this supposed to make me like you?” he could scarcely get the words out around the knot strangling his heart.

“No. Goodness, no. If you don’t like me by now you never will, Adam,” she replied calmly. “But it is meant to remind you and your father that it’s profitable to make sure your monarch likes you.”

***

Adam knew very little of what came after that meeting.

He fled into the woods as soon as he could, and didn’t come back for meals or curfew. Dane and Beli went into the woods looking for him after sunset, once again braving the dark with torches. It was Culli-maid who found him, rousing early to tend to her duties before she could tend to Arditty’s or Adam’s. She saw the lamps burning in one building and raced to wake the boys.

They found him in the training hall, fists bloody, breathing hard, expression empty, one of the punching bags spilling the sand of its guts all over the exquisitely inlaid wooden floor. For all that their prince had so thoroughly puzzled and disconcerted and surprised them over their years together, it was the first time they both knew themselves afraid of him. “Highness?” Dane dared. He had two years on the prince and nearly a foot on both height and width, with the mass to go along; at that moment, he didn’t like his odds.

“Don’t call me that.” Adam’s childish treble was breaking to a low tenor, hoarse with too much shouting at the moment; it would likely be pleasant once it stopped going all over the place, even if it would never carry across a battlefield. “Please.” He seemed to wake up at that belated, single word, and staggered so that they had to catch him.

“Are you hurt?” Beli asked.

“Nowhere that matters,” Adam replied. “What time is it?”

“There’s no one to see you,” Dane replied, quickly catching onto what Adam was actually asking. “But we need to get you to your rooms before the castle wakes up proper.”

“Oh, it’s dawn already?” Adam asked as they half-carried him out of the training hall. He blinked blearily up at the dim gray light of false dawn.

“Close enough,” Dane replied as they hurried across the empty jousting grounds, hoarfrost clinging to their boots and melting swiftly, soaking along their pants. By the kindness of the old gods they met no one until Culli ushered them into the young prince’s rooms, where she fussed over them all and put Adam to bed with a sleeping tea.

This time, it was Dane who waited in the woods, much to his terror and yet staunch in his loyalty. Beli was to travel with Adam as his manservant; he’d been fully equipped by Master Leminy with the castoffs of too many dead princes, the Master of Scions merely counting it a blessing that there was one prince he didn’t have to find staff for on such short notice.

Needlemaw slithered into the window and past Culli-maid like the nightmare she was not two days later, early in the morning. “Shall I rip 'er throat oot?” she demanded of Adam without preamble, her teeth flashing like daggers, her cadmium-yellow eyes terrible lamps behind the red of her wild curling hair as she stalked into the room, a raging predatory monster, her accent thickened by her indignation. “Take 'er stupid pritty wee eyes? I kin break 'er bitch fingers one by one like crackly-crackle twigs if'n 'twill teach 'er -” Adam crashed into her arms, staggering her and bringing her tirade to a sharp, stunned halt.

“Nothing,” he croaked, hating the fact there were tears unshed in his eyes. “Nothing, Needle, you’ll do nothing. None of you. Not a thing.”

“What?!” she snarled, catching him by the shoulders and shaking him lightly. “Adam -!”

“You, any of you, doing something to stop this, that’s what she wants.” He caught her hands in his, unafraid and feeling for the first time in days as if he could finally breathe. “She’s tried everything else to find out about Linden, about you all, and everything’s failed her. If you do anything, anything at all, she wins. Do you understand?”

She stared at him, her teeth grinding like blades against the grindstone, and in the end she caved, sweeping him up in an embrace full of her dry warmth and the charnel-and-soil scent of her. “Och, Adam,” she sighed. “What are we gauny do with the muchness o’ ye.”

“Will you miss me?”

Needle pulled away a little and brushed his eyes dry with the back of her hand. “I’ll know ye gone,” she admitted. “Like a wound that won’t heal, it will be.”

“It feels like that already, a little,” he admitted. “Where’s Linden?”

“They’re not as fast as me,” The redcap sounded a little sheepish to have so thoroughly left her supposed charge behind, but Linden chose that moment to tumble into the room through the window, taking Culli’s hand to haul themselves upright and launching at Adam. The two held each other desperately tight.

“She can’t do this,” Linden’s voice was full of fury and unshed tears. “She can’t, she just can’t. This is our time, the time we share, this is ours!”

“She knows.” Adam swallowed against a new surge of bitterness inside him. “That’s exactly why she’s done it. Like sending dogs into the brush to flush out pheasants.”

“I haven’t done anything to her! Not ever, not once!” Linden all but shouted. “Hasn’t she got enough of a fight with the Prince Beyond the Woods, now she wants to pick on me and mine?!”

“Linden.” Adam grabbed his friend’s face in his hands. A day alone in the woods had laid out before him the Dowager’s trap, neat and clean and inescapable. He’d already spent his rage at it in the training yard. “She wants you like the Prince does. As a weapon. As a tool against him. Through me, you. Through you, him.”

Tears spilled from those luminous, shattered eyes. “Can’t I hate them a little?” they pleaded hoarsely.

“No.” Adam shook his head. “Hate makes them do things like this.”

“But you’re leaving!”

“I am. Six months, she said.”

“I wouldnae put it past the bitch tae run it long if'n she can,” Needle muttered, arms crossed.

“Maybe,” Adam admitted, swallowing against a fear he knew was well-founded. “Linden, I bet that beyond the woods there’s all those who mutter and grumble and say you spend too much time with me.”

“Oh, who cares, they’ve always been dumb, who cares about them!”

“I know. Linden, I know. But the thing is, they’re the ones that makes decisions like this one. To send me away, to steal our time. So go home. Give them this time, so when they open their mouths to be dumb and noisy -”

“I can point to this year, and make them shut up,” Linden finished the sentence, but their heart was very much broken. They fell into a tight embrace once again. “Will you come say goodbye to Boul? He can’t make it up the wall.” Linden fell back and rubbed at their face. “He actually tried, do you know.”

“No!”

Linden nodded, smiling a bit, but it was at least something of a smile, and it was true. “He did.”

“I’ll come to the stables. I can say I’m checking my tack.” He hugged Linden one more time. “It’s only one year, Linden.”

“I know,” the fey sapling admitted, but did not add aloud what they, and Needlemaw, and Boulders-for-Brains already knew.

You mortals get so few of those.

***

Later on in life Adam would remember very little of that sojourn. The knowledge he picked up during his pilgrimage across the realm would surprise him every now and again, coming to the surface unprompted at odd times when it was needed, when he faced an unanswerable question, when he grappled with a complex puzzle. He learned more of the realm itself, of its green valleys and rain-soaked woodlands, of the vast fields parted from the road by low stone walls, sometimes filled with crops, other times dotted with flocks. He met the people who powered the life of the land, the ones who grew the crops, who milled them and made them into food, into clothing, into tools.

In that, the Dowager had not lied. The trip expanded his education in ways neither of them could have ever imagined, for all the good it did someone who had no intention of claiming the crown.

As Needlemaw had warned them, the pilgrimage dragged on and on. There was no day when Adam didn’t miss Linden, when he didn’t wonder what they were up to, his friends. He wrote to William once, but the prince’s return letter was formal and distant and didn’t mention his red-haired maid at all. Adam admitted his mistake and didn’t write the older prince again.

Through the hottest days of summer he fretted, hoping that Boul would be taking care of himself, and saw very little of the manors of those who’d become wealthy through trade and fishing. He did speak to the sailors on the great ships with sails as white as gull wings, and to the fisherfolk in their heavy-bellied barges, and tried his hand a little at their trade, much to their amusement. It was at times like those that, for a little while, he forgot how his heart ached. The pain didn’t dull. A few of the princes had left sweethearts behind, and by late summer they’d long stopped writing to them. Once a week Adam wrote to Culli-maid and Dane. She saved those letters and gave them to him, bound in a book, much later in life, and it was the only proof he had that he’d been there, seen and heard and done those things, because he certainly didn’t remember them otherwise. Linden trees lined almost each and every driveway leading to each gracious manor and estate. He wanted to hate them, but couldn’t. He wanted to know if the linden tree had bloomed at last, and missed it just as he did the others until Dane brought a spray of flowers from it for Culli-maid to send to him with her letters.

He met the men and women who watched the passes on the mountains, that guarded the realm from what neighbors there were that were more interest in raiding than in peaceful trade. There weren’t many. The guardsfolk wore weathered, functional armor and carried short blades, and Adam found his fencing did very little good against such veterans. His well-natured laughter at himself and his failings caught them all by surprise, and they taught him a little of their fighting with sword and buckler, with dagger and lance and even with his bare hands. They knew him by name when the princes left, and in leaving behind their surly, rough humor Adam felt as if he were leaving Needlemaw behind all over again.

Every church window, every cloud, every richly scented breeze whispered Linden’s name, and Adam’s rage turned into a cold and hard thing in the pit of his stomach, in the depths of his heart. At night, with Beli asleep nearby, he would stare out the window of whatever room he’d been given in yet another place full of people he scarce knew, and fought to remind himself that he could be angry at the Queen Dowager, that he could dislike, immensely and with all his being, what she’d done to him, but he could not allow himself to hate her. He would come back to the palace eventually. There would be a king, eventually; she would not rule his life forever.

And he would make sure that she would get nothing else from him, not his rage, not his love, certainly not his hatred. He would simply forget her, and all her plans would go to nothing, and he would count that a victory in the end.

***

The princes returned to the palace with brief gusts of snowflakes racing over the grounds, the lawns sere and brittle, winter well in and the Longest Night barely a week away. Adam all but threw himself at Dane, a familiar and friendly face at last, startling the young man his once-bodyguard had become. “Look at you!” he cried out in open delight and admiration. “You’re the size of an oak, Dane! Why do you stick to serving a scrawny bit of a prince, you could be making so much money as a noble’s guardsman.”

“Then I’d have to actually work,” Dane replied, flustered and unspeakably pleased, and unwilling to admit in a hundred years that the boy who’d taught him to fight and left him free to have a childhood when he’d been given none had become a man who’d earned all of his loyalty. “Who wants that, sire? Besides, I sort of like the scrawny git. He’s clever-like.”

Adam laughed. In an excess of delight at being back in the only real home he’d known for so long he hugged Arditty, who squeaked in surprise and, much to his shock, hugged him back briefly before squirming for freedom. “Well, don’t you get so free with your affections, Adam, I’m a woman betrothed.”

“Betrothed!” he exclaimed, in disbelief that Arditty, who could have anyone she wanted and usually did for all of a week, would settle down on just one choice. “Well, he better be nice,” he warned. “Is he proper to you?”

Arditty laughed, just as surprised and touched at Adam’s question as someone else had once been. “Yes, I promise, you don’t have to challenge him. He’s my choice, and I stand by it,” she told him, brushing back his hair and sighing a little. “Perhaps I should have waited for you, but I was taught it’s so unseemly when the wife is older than the husband.”

“Ugh, who cares about years if you truly love someone. You let me know if he’s ever not nice to you.” Adam grabbed part of his luggage before Beli or Dane could and left her laughing merrily as he raced for his rooms. He found Culli-maid there, tidying up and adding the last touches to a very small and simple feast on the study table, and picked her up and spun her before falling into a hug. “Culli!”

“Highness!” She hugged him back, the boy grown nearly to a young man that had never seen her as just her station, that had trusted her with his secrets in exchange for her wisdom. “Oh, you’ve put on a foot on in every direction, none of your clothes are going to fit,” she lamented, her eyes overbright.

“Oh, now I know I’m home,” he sighed as he crushed her in his arms.

He had a lovely afternoon and evening of it, surrounded by warmth and friendship (and no blackberry brandy, thank goodness for Culli’s foresight). That night, bundled up in a heavy woolen cloak and knit scarf, he went out onto the grounds to look at the distant shadow of the royal woods, wrapped in darkness and frost. He walked nearly fully around the palace, watching the lights in its windows as they went out.

He didn’t expect company. It was too late in the season, and he knew even Needlemaw would be gone to the obligations and responsibilities of her people. The dead grass crunched pleasantly underfoot and the silence was immense.

Surrounded by the beauty of that cold winter night, Adam could only think that he’d been robbed of a whole year. He stared into the dark, watching his breath plume up in steady little puffs, closed his eyes, and very calmly set himself to count the days to spring.

#the fairy and the prince #linden and adam #linden the fairy #adam the prince #fantasy #writing #fantasy writing #my writing #original writing #boul the troll #boulders-for-brains #needlemaw #needlemaw the redcap

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therenlover · 4 years ago

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Brutal (A Demon!Daniel Bruhl x Starlet!Reader Ficlet)

(So, this is the first little ficlet in my Sour series, which can be found HERE! I hope you enjoy it! Also, enjoy blurry Checo, because he’s who @creme-bruhlee and I imagine as demon!Daniel)

“And I'm so tired that I might / Quit my job, start a new life / And they'd all be so disappointed / 'Cause who am I if not exploited?”

Synopsis: A crime of passion accidentally summons a handsome demon who offers to make your deepest desires come true... for a price, of course.

Rating; M (16+)

Warnings: Vague Allusions to Past Dubcon/Noncon, Explicit Language, Implied Sexual Content, Non-Explicit Murder, Making A Deal With A Demon, Maybe A Tiny Bit Of Monsterfucking???? If You Squint??? Not Really Though

Word Count: 1500~

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“What is it that you desire?”

The man- no, creature- before you was shrouded in the darkest corner of your dressing room, perched languidly upon the chaise lounge that had been oh so kindly included in the rider of your contract by whatever filthy fucker decided they wanted to have you this time. He didn’t matter now, though. No, not now that his brains were splattered against the carpet. The only thing that mattered anymore was the creature in the corner.

Even in the darkness, you could see its razor-sharp teeth glinting in the low light.

Trembling with unused adrenaline, you smiled back at it, hands still covered in blood. “I’m not answering that until you answer a few questions of my own,”

Surprisingly, the thing seemed to lean further back into its plush seat as it nodded, long pointed tail undulating slowly, like a python preparing to strike. “Very well. It makes no difference to me how long you draw out our little deal,” slowly, the thing chuckled, “Besides, for you, pretty one, I’d wait all the time in the world,”

You groaned at his exaggerated wink.

Still, it was too late to turn back now. With the blood on your hands for the death of the man at your feet, both physically and metaphorically, there was nowhere to go but forward. Maybe making a deal with the devil wasn’t your original plan, but it sure as hell was better than prison. With a sigh, you sat down heavily into your high-backed makeup chair.

“So I’m assuming you’re a demon?”

The creature in the corner made some sort of deep, proud noise in its chest as its two, shadowy hands came up to stroke its curved horns, much like a goat’s, with a certain puff-chested reverence. Even while beholding it in that darkness, its features shrouded in black, there was an allure to the strange monster, a strange, sick draw. You were helpless to whatever had appeared before you and all its powers. Somehow, though, you had seemed to intrigue it despite your comparative weakness.

“I go by many names, but demon is one of them,” it purred, red eyes glinting with something more than bloodlust, “I prefer others,”

“What should I call you then?”

“Whatever you please,”

You scoffed. “You said you had many names, why can’t you tell me even one?”

It huffed a long sigh, and if you didn’t know better, you would’ve said that you saw smoke erupt from where its nostrils should be.

That being said, it didn’t seem like the thing was frustrated. If anything, the creature seemed amused. From its words, you could only assume it had been hundreds of years since it had last entertained itself on the human realm. You could only hope your rage was entertaining enough to keep any of its less desirable emotions at bay.

“Names have power, Schatz. I can’t just go around telling everybody who I am,” it’s accent felt thicker as it leaned back, “but I suppose, if you and I were to make a deal, that I could allow you to name me something. Or I could choose one for you,”

“What if I didn’t make deal with you?” you challenged the creature with a smirk.

It hummed low in its chest as it pondered your question. “Now that would be no fun,”

“For me or for you?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest. Time was getting short now, with the clock on the wall ticking down the minutes until someone would arrive at your dressing room door to lead you out towards the set where the rest of the cast and crew were waiting. If they found you with the body it was over. Things with the demon needed to be resolved, and they needed to be resolved fast.

Thankfully, it didn’t toy with you any more than you expected it to.

“For both of us,” it replied, tail flicking almost excitedly, “I can’t touch you if we don’t make a deal, for better or for worse, and even then your soul wouldn’t be mine to toy with until the deal was complete. That being said, you’re in a pretty sticky situation. I think you need me just about as much as I need you, so I’ll ask again; What do you desire?”

You swallowed thickly.

On one hand, you couldn’t imagine things would end up very pleasantly for you once the dark shadow who had staked its claim on that awful chaise lounge finally did have a chance to get its clawed hands on your soul. On the other hand, though, you had nothing left to lose. Fame, especially so young, always came at a price. You would wager to guess that even if your soul hadn’t been claimed by a demon, that it had already been stolen away by the producers and directors that pulled the strings of your life like you were some obedient little puppet dancing for an audience who wanted to devour you whole.

In the end, an eternity in Hell with whatever was grinning at you like the Cheshire cat from the shadows might even be preferable to the horrors you’d already seen.

Slowly, you answered its question.

“I want to make every single person who ever took advantage of me suffer the same pain they put me through,”

The creature’s face split into a toothy smile.

“Now that’s what I like to hear,”

Moving like smoke on water, it stood from its place on the chaise lounge, morphing in shape and size as it approached and held out it’s newly human-shaped hand to you. In his new form, at least, you assumed it was a he, the creature was handsome, all dark eyes and slick hair. He looked young, and somehow, even with his new, thin lips and human teeth, he retained his signature smile. You took his hand and shook it without hesitation.

Even with your heart beating almost out of your chest, you had to admit that, with a demon at your side, you felt more empowered than you ever had before.

He noticed.

“I am known to my kin as Asmodeus,” he cooed, long eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he drew near to you. You couldn’t bring yourself to mind, “You, though, my sweetest pet, may call me Daniel,”

Daniel.

Somehow, even after you had seen the faintest traces of his beastly form, you had to admit that the name suited him. Maybe not as well as Asmodeus, but it worked well enough. You looked up at him through lidded eyes. “I’m-”

Before you could answer, he pressed a finger to your rouged lips.

“I know everything about you sweetling, no need for introductions. There is one last thing we need to do to seal the deal, though,”

A pit formed in your stomach as you gulped, caught in Daniel’s entrancing gaze. You had to assume there was some sort of magic to it, a spell that kept you trapped for all long as he could stare down into your eyes. Still, it would do you no good to fight it. Besides, the pangs that were making their way through your whole being weren’t fear.

Oh no, they were something much worse.

“What do we need to do?” You asked, wetting your lips with your tongue.

Daniel replied with a sly smile and a soft chuckle. “I need you to kiss me, of course,”

Who were you to disagree with the expert?

With all the strength and bravery you could muster, you surged up and met Daniel’s lips with your own, melting into the kiss as he quickly took over, skilled tongue darting into your mouth to claim it as his own. He bit hard on your lip, hard enough to draw blood, but you couldn’t bring yourself to mind, not when your hands were busy exploring up under his shirt and finding purchase on the firm muscles that waited below.

To be fair, he wasn’t exactly keeping his hands to himself either.

Sooner than you would have liked, though, Daniel was pulling his lips away from yours. It was just a fraction of an inch, your swollen mouths still connected by a string of saliva tinted a dark red with your blood, but you were already keening from the loss of him the second you caught your breath. The sound pleased him.

“What are we to do first, sweetling?” he purred, letting his nails run gently against the soft skin of your waist, “I’m at your command,” His breath was hot against your fact, and he smelled like gun smoke.

It drove you wild.

You snuck a look at the clock before turning back to him, eyes aflame. “In about ten minutes we’ll need to have the mess in here cleaned up with any evidence gone, but before we do that, I want you- no, I need you to fuck me. Can you make that happen?”

Daniel beamed.

“Oh, sweet girl, anything is possible with me at your side,” As he whipped you around to push you against the chaise lounge, licking his lips, he couldn’t help but add, “I believe this is the beginning of a very beneficial partnership,”

And against all odds, as you hooked a leg up around his waist and pulled him in for another searing kiss, you had to agree.

--------

a/n: WOW WOW WOW THAT WAS GARBAGE BUT I LOVED IT. I finished season 5 of Lucifer yesterday, so I was in the mood for some demonic shit. I hope it was at least semi-enjoyable despite being straight up shitty writing lol.

Taglist: @tatestripedsweater , @elaineygrace , @multiyfandomgirl40 , @lovelymischief , @be-cautious-around-bri

#daniel bruhl #daniel bruhl x reader #daniel bruhl smut #demon!daniel

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seeksstaronmewni · 4 years ago

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The Bear Roots of Burbank Cartoons: A Lookback at Boo Boo Runs Wild

5 years ago, [adult swim] aired the greatest of all Yogi Bear / Ranger Smith episodes, “Boo Boo Runs Wild” (1999), on August 13th, 2016 A.D. at 4 AM.

Look and see, kids, how America’s not-so-average bear connects in the wide world of animation that produces many of the cartoons that you love in Burbank, Canada and more!

As and after I saw it, I knew that I found the greatest band of cartoonists out there, and that greatest band of cartoonists out there was none other than...

Spümcø, whose many creatives would end up working at Hanna-Barbera Cartoons, Cartoon Network Studios, and many other popular Burbank and Canadian studios that made the cartoons I grew up and beyond watching.

Obviously, the character design is rather different, but they still look like the right characters, even with the slight color changes...

and with their items of human attire out. Ranger Smith, on the other hand...

Ranger Smith is wildly off model, and probably on purpose, throughout the picture.

Only in one scene appears he with a more familiar face.

Now, I didn’t have to watch Wild Kratts (which, by the way, features 6 Spümcø Canada creatives) to learn that “there’s only one thing a bear likes more than raiding a pic-a-nic basket.”

As the title suggests, Boo Boo loses his temper when Ranger Smith restricts him from tearing bark and decides to go primal in returning to his bear roots: “From this day forth, I’ll not dress in the man’s attire, and I’ll not speak in the man’s tongue. From now on, it’s going on all fours and grunting for me!”

Boo Boo wreaks havoc for the trees with his natural bear roots.

Unlike past episodes, however, the artists went far wilder than the usual Hanna-Barbera cartoon, making the trees alive and screaming in pain! OH, WHAT TOURTUE! Not to mention how I love Boo Boo’s goofy/manical laugh, a beautiful product of John Kricfalusi’s voice (Yes; I know that he was a formerly abusive megalomaniac who still has ADHD, but God knows what cartoons would be like today—at least those produced in Burbank and Canada—if it wasn’t for the many layout artists that he led).

Also unnatural to a Hanna-Barbera cartoon is the extreme levels of slapstick, wackiness and graphic nature of cartoons since such shows as Mighty Mouse: The New Adventures, Beany and Cecil’s DiC reboot, and The Ren & Stimpy Show. Boo Boo and now Cindy Bear are licking away at all of the honey... and bees... with insanely long tongues (may be that they’re sloth bears?). This left Yogi Bear practically speechless.

The mere sequence of dialogue between Yogi and Ranger Smith, discussing what to do about Boo Boo, involved HEAVY work in the storyboards by Vincent Waller. So many expressions that they couldn’t fit in each of Spümcø’s 3-panel storyboard pages!

As you see, in addition to Vincent Waller’s storyboards, John K. added extra poses (storyboard revisions more or less, but definitely layout poses) under the respective scenes. That way, Vincent could focus on telling and writing the story in rough pictures. (source of storyboards)

I also love the sound design. While it’s definitely true to a Hanna-Barbera cartoon, John K. and the late Henry Porch were very creative with some weird, dated and out-of-context sound effects, similar to what they and Horta Editorial did on The Ren & Stimpy Show in the first two seasons. The production music (probably APM and Capitol Records) also gave it a vintage, nostalgic feel.

Ultimately, with the aforementioned abusive megalomaniac aside, Spümcø undoubtedly harbored some of the finest animators and artists ever. Such names as Bob Jaques (Spongebob Squarepants, Buy One, Get One Free*, The Baby Huey Show), Ben Jones (DC Super Hero Girls, Cats Don’t Dance, Teen Titans GO!), Vincent Waller (Spongebob Squarepants, Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog), Albert Lozano (Inside Out, A Kitty Bobo Show), Todd White (Spongebob Squarepants), Eric Koenig (Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Madagascar, Cats Don’t Dance, The Simpsons, and The Tigger Movie), and Erik Wiese (Samurai Jack, The Mighty B!) are among the hundreds of creatives who ended up almost everywhere working in Burbank and Canadian animation.

Other names on the Spümcø team that one might recognize include Gabe Swarr (Dexter’s Laboratory, The Buzz on Maggie, Foe Paws, El Tigre), and even background artists such as Richard Daskas ( @rdaskas - Samurai Jack, Time Squad, Sym-Bionic Titan, Batman Beyond), Richard Ziehler-Martin (Tiny Toon Adventures, The Wacky World of Tex Avery), Hector Martinez (Tom and Jerry: Robin Hood and His Merry Mouse, Timone and Pumba, Captain N, Evil Con Carne, Dora the Explorer), and Tony Mora (MAD, Teen Titans GO! to the Movies, Pickle and Peanut). I mean: in short, these artists worked for Warner Bros. Animation, Disney Television Animation and Walt Disney Feature Animation, Nickelodeon, and Cartoon Network Studios!

Spümcø’s production assistants on Boo Boo Runs Wild feature Matt Danner —a fantastic character designer, storyboard artists, director and producer, whose credits range from (Johnny Test and The Legend of the Three Caballeros to Team Hot Wheels and The Looney Tunes Show—and Cartoon Brew editor Amid Amidi. Brian A. Miller was an executive in charge of production, not for but probably in association with Cartoon Network.

Spümcø’s creatives, as I said, are all over the place in Burbank animation. Other shows that still air on @adultswim have ex-Spümcø creatives. For example: today’s re-run of Samurai Jack EPISODE XVI features Chris Reccardi (The Powerpuff Girls, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy)...

Scott Wills (Genndy Tartakovsky’s Primal, The Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat)...

Lynne Naylor-Reccardi (The Shnookums and Meat Funny Cartoon Show, Wander Over Yonder) and Jim Smith (YooHoo and Friends, Tom and Jerry Tales, McGee and Me)...

and Leticia Lacy (TRON: Uprising, Sym-Bionic Titan, Wander Over Yonder, Korgoth of Barbaria).

Even outside of Cartoon Network Studios, where most ex-Spümcø artists end up, @cartoonnetwork’s The Amazing World of Gumball, from Cartoon Network Studios Europe (AKA Hanna-Barbera Studios Europe), features ex-Spümcø artist Charlie Bean (The Powerpuff Girls, Robotboy, Batman: The Animated Series, Timone and Pumba, Creature Crunch) on The Cartoon Network Europe Development Team.

One of Cartoon Network’s biggest and craziest hits, Teen Titans GO!, also features such ex-Spümcø artists as storyboard artist, director and producer Luke Cormican (The Buzz on Maggie, Brandy and Mr. Whiskers, Brickleberry, The Replacements, El Tigre)...

Gerald de Jesus (The Book of Life, The Ricky Gervais Show, TMNT)...

and Eric J. Pringle (Fosters’ Home for Imaginary Friends, The Problem Solverz). What wacky cartoon filled with live-action images, unpredictable visual gags and extreme slapstick humor wouldn’t?

Relatively, you could even tune in to Nickelodeon, the original home of Spümcø’s ground-breaking hit, The Ren & Stimpy Show, and see names of creatives associated with Spümcø and Ren & Stimpy, such as Zeus Cervas (Star vs. the Forces of Evil, Spongebob Squarepants, Clarence) on today’s episode of The Patrick Star Show...

or even Gabe Del Valle (Mighty Magiswords, Spongebob Squarepants) on today’s episode of Middlemost Post!

Overall, Boo Boo Runs Wild introduced me to the cartoon studio whose works I took for granted and on which I was missing out all of my life, and I strongly encourage this generation to support this Yogi Bear / Ranger Smith episode, which you can watch RIGHT NOW on [adult swim]’s site. It was officially on their YouTube channel, but it was removed for unknown reasons. This short never even got a DVD or VHS release!

The last televised airing of Boo Boo Runs Wild on [adult swim] so far was January 6th, 2019 A.D., but Spümcø also produced “A Day in the Life of Ranger Smith” and “Boo Boo and the Man” (based on true events in the life of John Kricfalsui) for Cartoon Network.

As I come to a close, it’s worth noting that layout Ed Benedict, an animator and artist whose credits go all of the way back to the 1930s with Disney and continued with MGM and Hanna-Barbera/Cartoon Network Studios, originally worked on Yogi Bear episode “Yogi’s Birthday Party” as a layout artist, and reprised that very role for “Boo Boo Runs Wild”. What a legacy the animators and artists of this episode leave!

Always will I remember how Spümcø, whose legacy connects to my Cartoon Network-infused childhood, blessed me and graced me that fateful day, August 13th, 2016 A.D., with the ultimate example of the fine art of cartooning that is the Yogi Bear / Ranger Smith episode “Boo Boo Runs Wild”. I was living in the moment, and I thank God for it.

“For years they have [been] asking me to make new Yogi cartoons, but I can’t even get a half a million [dollars] to make one, probably because I actually like the characters, but 60-70 million $ to make walking corpses is economical.” - John Kricfalsui on Yogi Bear (2010)

Another Ranger Smith, Boo Boo or Yogi Bear cartoon from the people behind The Ren & Stimpy Show is highly unlikely today, due to the abuse and harassment of John K. angering the world to the point of hating and condemning the man who helped to shape not only Cartoon Network but also television animation—and animation as a whole—with an undeniable legacy of artists and animators who deserve way more credit and respect than we perhaps thought of giving as kids.

Tweet version of this post here.

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theyapper0 · 4 years ago

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Amphibia season 1 rewatch + notes :)

So I just finished rewatching the ENTIRE season 1 of Amphibia and I have some notes on the episodes that stood out to me! There are some quick notes, a couple lengthy analyses and even some headcanons sprinkled in! It's like a written stew of season 1! I'll be doing a written Amphiba stew for season 2 too!!

It's kinda long so you could just skip this or hit the keep reading button and give it a read!

S1: E2 Cane Crazy

Anne shows general disregard over other people's things

(Mimicking Hop Pop and breaking his cane, throwing all the wood carving things that Loggle made, even a coo coo clock that she even said was nice (And for him to say it took 20 years to make right after she broke it))

S1: E2 Flood, Sweat and Tears

Anne would be the WORST during sleepovers and I LOVE IT!!! My girl is just being a tween, staying up late, playing would you rather and keeping everyone else up. I think that's ADORABLE and now I'm thinking about how sleepovers might've been back home with her, Sasha and Marcy…

She also just stays up late in general?? She reads dumb magazines and eats CRUNCHY snacks. She is really just 13,,,

And it looks like Sprig does it too, not as much as Anne (probably because he is younger than her) but it seems like it has to be in his terms. Before, he looked to be annoyed with it when he was trying to sleep. But, if he was awake, like in the beginning or at the end of the episode, he had no problem staying up playing would you rather!!!

S1: E3 Hop Luck

Anne: Old things are dumb!

And

Anne:* violently GRABS Sprig and shoves him against the wall* don't you DARE talk about pineapple in my pizza… Ever…

Anne:

Sprig:

Anne: Okay! Let's go get these ingredients!

HHHH ANNE!!! I love this funky little child SO MUCH!!!

Hop Pop loves these kids so much that he was willing to put aside his old, traditional family recipes in exchange for making pizza with them. My heart is gonna explode I'm-

Anne please don't make your surrogate frog brother get married just to get some pizza dough I'M BEGGING YOU-

S1: E3 Stakeout

Hop Pop: I'm a crisp 68!

Is Hop Pop actually 68 or does he mean more of 68 going on 80 68? Either way he looks great!

Anne has Blam Berry Blitz ("the drink that punches you in the face and doesn't stop") in her bag along with all the OTHER stuff we already saw (air pump, toe nail clipper, pencils, cat toys, bath bombs, etc)

Anne is officially those friends that have EVERYTHING in their bag no matter what.

I really like the relationship between Anne and Hop Pop, how they both in some way yearn for what was but in different ways (Anne wanting to go home and Hop Pop's olden ways when he was a little pollywog) but are still similar in how they try to remember. They try and try and try to keep what little family/friends they have safe and protected. They love the relationships they've formed with other people (And with each other) and would go great lengths to help and protect them!

Also I MAY be looking way too into it buuuut was Boulder-Tron (that rock dude that Polly hallucinated at the end) supposed to foreshadow Frobo??

S1: E4 Taking Charge

Okay quick one, Anne nearly having a whole ass panic attack when her phone dies because she couldn't look at her photos or videos of home actually made me sad. This girl is only a CHILD and her entire home and everything is gone and she for real thought she couldn't ever get it back,,,

Hop Pop: I mean, the part where the island itself is revealed to actually be…!

Sprig: No!

Polly: Don't!

Anne: Spoilers

I dunno why and again, I MIGHT BE LOOKING TOO DEEPLY INTO THIS, but maybe this is foreshadowing something with the land of Amphibia? That maybe there is more to this crazy land than we know? Maybe even a reason it, along with all the other universes even exists???

S1: E5 Breakout Star

AHSBWJOA ONLY EPISODE 5 AND ANNE ALREADY HAS HER PHONE'S LOCK SCREEN OF THE PLANTER FAMILY I'M-

S1: E7 Dating Season

Anne said that ⅔ of ALL soul mates start out as "just friends"

…

I'm looking at you, team Sashannarcy

S1: E7 Anne vs. Wild

Hop Pop's behavior at the end of the episode when Anne finally shows them the calamity box is awfully sus…

He doesn't say anything but "may I?" To inspect the box and then is like "Nope, never seen it" I just feel like he knows something and then adding onto it with the whole burying it to protect his family just sounds like… he definitely knows something, maybe not a lot but there is something he's not telling the others

Also, why would a book that HE has have information on the Calamity box??

(I fully support the Dr. P was a Planter and also possibly the pink frog who was friends with King Andrias theory)

S1: E10 Toad Tax

At this point, Anne said that she has already been in Amphibia for over a month now.

(And damn, Sasha's been in prison for like a month,,, yikes)

Also Hop Pop teaching Anne how to pay taxes is so adorable, she really is part of this family now guys,,,

And I love how Anne was able to win over the Wartwood people by being her natural, charming and not to mention caring self. Anne, like Marcy and Sasha, can be selfish because honestly what kid, especially a 13 year old, isn't.

But what matters is that she always tries to make up for it.

Yes she did join the arguably sketchy toads into getting the taxes from everyone in order to feel somewhat included in ANYTHING, but while she was doing it, she knew it was wrong. Anne knew it was wrong and tried to give back some of the stolen stuff. Hell, even at the end she risked her safety to protect people she felt didn't even LIKE her, like, Anne literally broke her arm from them because that's just how Anne is.

S1: E10 Prison Break

I always forget how like,,, SUPER cunning Sasha is. I mean, she was able to talk FIVE toads into quitting within a WEEK as a PRISONER. Like??

Grime: That's not a bird. It's a heron, a murderous predator that happens to love the taste of flesh

Sasha: Cute

The lines in this show I'M-

So Anne was a varsity tennis player and Sasha was a cheerleader and did Tai Chi. I still can't believe they were both jocks,,,

(Well, Sasha I get but Anne? Sweet ol' lil baby with the lanky limbs Anne???)

Hey um, why the FUCK does Grime have acid spit?

Sasha: *looking at photo of her, Anne, and Marcy* Hold on for a little longer, girls. I'm coming for you. And when I find you, we're gonna get home. But first, I think we're gonna have some fun with this place

Okay so this line right here. Now I may not be even remotely correct but this line, this last piece of dialogue spoken by Sasha right before the episode ends leads me to believe that she… doesn't take this world seriously.

At least not yet.

I think the 3 girls all see Amphibia differently: Anne as more of an obstacle, a wall preventing her from being home, Marcy sees it as an escape from her life with constant stimuli, and Sasha, she sees it as just really another thing to control. Everyone and their mothers know that Sasha can be a little more than controlling and we all know that she liked being lieutenant just a little too much.

This world is interesting to Sasha, not in the interesting that Anne sees it (who is interesting in the new people and the relationships she's formed) or Marcy (who is also interested in the relationships she's formed along with the thirst for knowledge and again, the constant stimuli in an environment where she isn't stifled and allowed to flourish).

No, Sasha sees Amphibia as interesting because it gives her something to control. In a world that is not your own, a world that you will leave eventually, who would actually FOLLOW the rules put in place there? Especially a 13 year old who is basically like a war commander who, even if she does do something wrong or breaks a rule or two, the only person who might even dare to stop her is Grime, and even then, he might just encourage it because it is season 1 and they aren't that close and he doesn't really care for Sasha at this point.

She also is actually very logical. Everything she does in Amphibia, all the morally questionable things she does, it is always for the same reason (or at least at first), to get her and her girls home. Wanting to sacrifice and kill Hop Pop at the end of season 1? Well The toads had promised if she helped, they'll help her find Marcy and bring the 3 of them home. She cares for Anne and Marcy SO MUCH that she is willing to go great lengths to help keep them safe.

But even though Sasha didn't really care about anyone in Amphibia besides Anne and Marcy at first, it doesn't mean she won't ever. We see countless times throughout season 2 of Sasha caring. She feels regret with her impending betrayal on Anne and Marcy, she cares enough to try and warn Anne about King Andrias' evil plans. Hell, even in the season 3 intro we see her and Grime at Wartwood and it looks like they're gonna be starting another rebellion against the king to help all the amphibians in Amphibia.

I just really like watching Sasha's appearance and knowing what will happen in the future with her character.

S1: E13 Trip to the Archives

Anne: I get this place. It's like a library from my world. Zoo books and manga, here I come!

So whenever Anne goes to the library, presumably with Sasha and Marcy, she'd go straight to books on animals and manga probably while Marcy did whatever work they needed (if Anne's dialogue in season 2 with Marcy always doing the work for their group projects was anything to go off on)

I dunno, I think that's kinda cute that Anne liked reading books on animals and probably reading all the manga that Marcy recommended.

Maybe Anne and Sasha would sit right next to each other while Marcy worked and read fun manga together and cackle with each other while Marcy tried SO HARD to concentrate and NOT infodump to them because she's read that specific manga 20 times and HAVE YOU GOTTEN TO THAT ONE PART WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER GOES-

S1: E15 Wally and Anne

MOSS MAN!!

When Anne wakes up in the middle of the night and goes to grab Wally at town square, her hood is up and it's dark. The only thing we can make out of her face are…

Glowing blue eyes.

Glowing eyes that share an uncanny resemblance to the moss men.

And Anne loves doing elaborate, silly handshakes? That's so CUTE! Too bad none of her friends liked them as much as she did :(

When they finally reached the foggy mountain place, Anne noticed glowing blue butterflies and started to follow them, which led her right to the moss man.

WAIT ANNE ALSO DID ROCK CLIMBING BACK HOME?? FUCKING JOCK!!!

S1 E20 Reunion

Okay I WAS about to say that there wasn't anything to say about this last episode that hasn't already been said before BUT

The last couple moments, when Anne is holding Sasha off the cliff and trying to pull her up with the Planters, there's a couple interesting shots that I would like to talk about.

While the Planters were holding onto Anne, they say things like "Hang on, Anne! We got you no matter what!"

And even when the stone cliff starts to chip and break, none of the frogs back off, they don't loosen their grips, they just keep holding onto Anne.

And they will never let go.

Because they love her. Because in only 3 months, Anne was able to get a surrogate frog family and dozens of other frog friends in Wortwood. Because Anne has this amazing support system both literally and metaphorically. Because Anne is Anne. And Sasha...

Isn't like Anne.

Matt Bradly himself even said that both Sasha and Anne are different from Anne, Anne is the heart, the emotional connection in their logical worlds. Anne can make so many friends so easily and Sasha… Sasha became a war genral, she lost a fight against the one person who she thought would never fight back.

Sasha doesn't have what Anne has. She doesn't have the kind of skills to make such strong relationships, the kind where you risk your life for the other, in such a short amount of time.

Hell, they even play a song called "Lean on Me", Anne has people to lean on and they would lean on her just the same. She found these people, made these friends, formed amazing relationships, in only THREE months.

"Maybe you're better off without me"

And Sasha was only dragging her down.

Sasha loves Anne, she cares for her and would do anything to protect her. That's why she let go. She didn't want to drag Anne down, to hurt her more than she already has.

Sasha would do anything for Anne, even die.

Over all notes:

Season 1 is SUPER FUNNY!! The lines hit and they don't rely on toilet humor to get the audience to laugh. They use great one liners and physical humor that isn't fart or butt jokes. They do an excellent job on showing how crazy the world of Amphibia is through humor like how the animals are always eating each other.

I really like how the characters were crafted so carefully! And the storyline!!! You could notice things that get explored in season 2 and I can't WAIT to see how many bread crumbs were left to lead up to season 3!

HOW DOES ANNE KEEP SO MANY THINGS IN HER BOOK BAG???

That stuff is in her SCHOOL BAG, why would she bring it to school??? So far I've got an air pump, toe nail clippers, pencils, cat toys, bath bombs and an energy drink. WHY??? I wonder if she held on to any of Sasha or Marcy's things too or ever forgot to give them back

Also again, I'M STILL IN SHOCK OF ANNE BEING A JOCK. I don't even know why I am, I knew she played sports and stuff it's just,,, she's so lanky,,,

Her and Sasha are jock buddies and WILL shove other jocks in lockers if they ever pick on their nerd Marcy.

I also am in LOVE with Hop Pop's screams lmao

Be ready for an analysis of season 2!

#amphibia #anne boonchuy #hopadiah plantar #hop pop #sprig planter #polly planter #sasha waybright #Marcy wu #season 1 #analysis #my ramblings

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seijorhi · 4 years ago

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asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

#ask #anon #rhi answers #ohh so many asks #i love you guys <33 #fic q's

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howlingday · 5 years ago

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About Jaune ships...

I have opinions. You may not agree, but they are mine. They may change in time, but not now.

LANCASTER ( RUBY X JAUNE )

The old tried and true. I mean, what's not to like? Cute girl falls for first guy she meets at Beacon? Classic romance trope, and after reading how much Ruby loves romance stories (I consider certain parts in the manga canon), it makes sense. In fact, after Arkos sank (A moment of silence, please . . . Thank you), many moved to Lancaster, which isn't bad. Happens all the time in fandoms. Sad thing, though, is far I think she'll last. If we're talking Volume 5 or earlier, then maybe. However, I feel if Ruby were to have an endgame in romance, it would be RoseGarden (I have opinions on that as well, but today isn't the day to discuss that), mostly because Oscar bumped Jaune's role from male lead to male side. Not to mention that while Jaune is becoming a beast in his own right, Ruby is a different creature altogether and evolving her character more rapidly and chaotically than anyone else (Must be all that screentime).

TLDR: I want it to be canon, but I might just be hoping.

WHITE KNIGHT ( WEISS X JAUNE)

Doofus in tin foil meets princess who hates daddy (Am I in the romance section of the library? You know, the corner for adults only?) No, but I do like this ship. I'm always a sucker for the fantasy genre, and using a zero to hero male makes it relatable. I also kind of ship it because the same reason I ship NaruSaku in the Naruto fandom: he likes her and he's willing to go the distance. But enough about that; instead let's talk about canon. Will they hook up? It's a soft maybe for me, for two reasons. 1. Rosegarden is most likely to be endgame, and after Ruby and Pyrrha, I'd say Weiss is Jaune's next to be his love interest. 2. Weiss has warmed up to Jaune. Sure, not lover or crush level (Yet), but she's definitely changed her opinion on him. In Volume 1, Jaune was bugging her, like all the time, which I could see as him getting mixed signals on (Exhibit A: Tall, blonde, and scraggly). When Volume 5 came around, everyone jumped onboard because he saved her life (Don't lie, because I'll admit that I did it, too). Not the best reason, but still reason enough, I'd say. Then in Volume 7, she hangs out with him and Oscar to the movies (It was either that or awkward Bumbleby all night. I feel ya, sister). Nothing romantic happens, but it does show how much their relationship has developed. If Weiss is Jaune's endgame, then they have set the pieces up perfectly to do so.

TLDR: High likelihood to be canon and I'm a sucker for Knight/Princess ships.

KNIGHTSHADE ( BLAKE X JAUNE)

This is the part where I say definitely not. Not in a million years, but I'll explain why I like the ship, though. As for why it won't work, the answer is Bumbleby. They haven't kissed yet, but you know they're going to eventually (Because if they don't, the fans will attack like a swarm of hornets). But here's the question you might be asking now: why do I ship this? Well, it's part of the allure of "opposites attract" ('Cause I'm dressed like a cat!). Blake is an intelligent, outspoken, and agile ninja with a criminal history of terrorism who spends her free time reading novels. Jaune is a B at best on his tests, soft-hearted, and ground-based knight who's worst crime is fraud (Still a crime, but peanuts compared to literal terrorism) and spends his free time hanging out with his team. Day and night. But they also tried that with Sun for a season and a half and it didn't last (BECAUSE BEES).

TLDR: Not even a snowball's chance in the summer sun, but so much story potential if you do (Which I do)!

DRAGONSLAYER ( YANG X JAUNE )

This, I would say, is the opposite of Knightshade, where Jaune is the day and Blake is night, here Yang is the Sun and Jaune is the Moon (Like their crests! Remember those? Y'know, when they were relevant?) Will it work? Even less so than Knightshade. However, it does open up some interesting paths considering how... provocative Yang can be, and Jaune, compared to the other guys, is the nerdiest, geekiest dude at Beacon. It's like the cheerleader/nerd romance, except the cheerleader is the captain of every sports team... and rides a motorcycle. The Volume 8 preview introduced us to Yang and Jaune riding motorcycles and we went nuts over it. Yang was back in her element, roaring down the street, riding on walls, popping off tricks with Oscar riding- Back to what I was saying, people were asking, "How did he know how to ride a motorcycle?" and the elementary answer is "He didn't." He almost fell off his bike from a small box in the road. True, anyone would, but look at how he reacts: he stiffens, he refocuses on the road. This kid literally started riding at breakfast, and I DARE you to prove me wrong. But hey, great fic material right there, though, eh?

TLDR: Never gonna happen, but I don't care. All I care about is writing that they love each other. And they also fu-!

ARKOS ( PYRRHA X JAUNE )

I'm sorry, I need a moment. . . . Alright. Do it for her. This ship... was perfect. Probably the best ship out them all. I legit almost cry every time I think about Volume 3. Pyrrha was everyone's favorite. Her background, her interactions, her choreography, everything! But, of course, like everything in our lives, she was too good to be true. But let's honor her memory by talking about her ship, Arkos. Pyrrha was the champion of the world, the Brothers' and Oums' gift to Remnant. She could do no wrong and she HATED it. Her plight was with how she was seen. Everybody knew her! Everybody, except Jaune. And he only figured out she was "a big deal" was because Weiss had to spell it out for him! As time went on, they became the best of friends, two peas in a pod, the perfect odd couple! They worked together and trusted each other, they cared for and supported each other, they lo- No. No, I can't say it. It's been years, and it still hurts. So, I'll explain something else: the reason why Jaune SHOULD NOT be shipped right now. That reason is Pyrrha. Jaune was helpless to save her. He's suffering from survivor's guilt and he's still grieving. In Volume 4, he would sneak away and train until late at night to scroll recording of her. In Volume 5, he confronted Cinder and got Weiss almost killed because he let his grief for Pyrrha take control of him and let his emotions run wild. In Volume 6, he finds the Pyrrha statue and he... I don't know how to say this, but he let's go. He accepts that Pyrrha is gone and he's starting the healing process. He's finally ready to move forward.

TLDR: T.T I never felt that it was wise to wish too much~

MARTIAL ARCS ( REN X JAUNE)

I'll be honest, I don't really ship it. Yeah, it's cute, and it falls perfectly into the "if I had to pick a guy" part of me, but to be honest, I don't ship it. 10% because Renora and 90% it just doesn't click with me. They both just seem too soft, too quiet, too introverted. Best friends? Yes, definitely! But lovers? Eeeeeh, not really.

TLDR: I will only ship as neccessary.

NORA'S ARC ( NORA X JAUNE )

I've only just got in this deep with the fandom only recently, so I don't know if a lot of you know me. Heck, I'm probably just some RWBY fan you happen to spot as you move through your dash. However, old or new, I want to be made absolutely positively clear on this. Of all the ships here, this has got to be my-

O T FUDGIN' P

Wow! Never thought I'd feel so strongly about a crack ship like this. And yes, as sad it is to say, this is a crack ship. Renora was planned from day one, so it can't be helped. At least it didn't blast me in the face all of the sudden (OH NO, NOT THE BEES! AAAAARGH! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!). But why this ship? Well, for one thing, it's that whole opposites attract thing with Nora as the bubbly, outspoken, airhead powerhouse and Jaune as the soft spoken, introverted, nerd tactician. But wait, there's more to this trope, because it can go deeper: Order VS Chaos! Who makes all the messes? Who cleans up those messes? Who follows all the rules? Who makes their own doors? It's just. So. Damn! GOOD! One sad thing about this ship though is that it's not only not canon because of Renora, it's anti-canon because Renora. Every fan fic of Nora's Arc requires an explanation for Ren and Nora to not be together-together, like you have to write a formal apology to the FNDM for liking something that's different from what is canon or commonly accepted. If that's the case, then I'll be the anarchist here!

TLDR: I LOVE IT! What's that? Not canon? Who gives a damn?! I just explained why Jaune won't be shipped anyways! Now, if you'll excuse, I have some fan fics to find.

ARCFALL ( CINDER X JAUNE )

Oh, here it goes! Now, if we're talking ships that'll never happen, this is where we find better reasons than "it's not canon" and "character development". No, this... This is a declaration of war. Allow me to explain. Cinder Fall is evil. Like, down to her core. She wants power and she'll cut through anyone to get to it. Including Pyrrha. This woman sank Arkos by means other than "X and Y kissed, so..." She killed X, leaving Y alone. And her interactions with Jaune tell me she wouldn't even be worth a hate-bang. But, as Momma always, there's a thin line between love and hate. This is where the appeal comes in. Cinder is evil with no past, which leaves the previous chapter's of her life story blank to be filled in. Jaune is good with a troublesome, albeit easy past, but untapped potential for more. It's another opposites attract, but different from INTRO VS EXTRO and CHAOS VS ORDER; this is GOOD VS EVIL. Who will win this battle of wills; will our hero purify the tainted heart, or will he slip deeper into darkness, never to return to the light?

TLDR: Should be a NOTP, and yet the allure pulls me in.

What do y'all think? Do you agree? Let me know!

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lilydalexf · 4 years ago

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Rae

Rae has 16 stories at Gossamer. If you like MSR, you should go check them out, including (but not limited to) the fun-titled, banter-filled The Cat, an Espresso and a Bag of Sunflower Seeds. Big thanks to Rae for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It surprises me that anyone reads my fanfic at all, let alone they are reading it 20 years after I wrote it!

But in the same vein, I am still actively reading xfiles fanfic and I tend to read the older fics, or new fics by authors I recognize or remember from back in the day. I cannot explain this lack of rationale. 🤷

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

I had a great experience with the X-Files fandom! I made some fantastic friends - many even attended my wedding! I didn't really get involved in the dramas that went on. I was aware of it, but really, I just wanted to discuss my show with people that loved it like I did and read the fic, so I ignored all the other static.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Mainly message boards. AOL chat rooms, Yahoo groups, etc. We would all sign on after the episode aired and chat about it. Deconstruct it. And then we started traveling to meet each other and the real fun began!

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

It was definitely a growing experience. It forced me to step outside my comfort zone a little bit. Traveling to NYC, LA and Chicago to meet people just to fangirl with. Meeting Gillian and getting a picture with her - it was wild.

Different shared experiences that "real life" family and friends just didn't understand. It was fun and exciting.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

So I came to the show late in the game. I was sick, lying in bed channel surfing and caught the last 5 minutes of Fight the Future and immediately wanted to know why this woman was sitting in the snow holding onto this man. I spent the summer recording episodes on FX during the week and watching them all weekend and was somehow able to pretty much catch up on the first 6 seasons in time for the 7th season premiere.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

In my quest to know all the things that summer before the 7th season, I discovered AOL chat rooms that led me to different discussions on the show in general and at one point, a link was posted to whatever fanfic was hot that minute and I was instantly hooked.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I often feel like a wallflower at a party. I'm on the fringe, looking in to see what's going on. I don't bother anyone and most people don't even know I'm there. Every now and then I'll send feedback on a story, or I might even participate in a random discussion, but I feel it's a little more difficult these days without the chatrooms and discussion boards. Following people on tumblr or twitter and trying to engage in those platforms is more awkward since it feels so much more personal. It's like I'm intruding on someone's personal space. Or having to scroll through non-fandom stuff to find the fic. The message boards were a more even playing field I guess? It's hard to explain.

When I'm hardcore searching for something...anything to read, I'll refer to "The Classics" list. There are still many on there I haven't read.

I miss ephemeral.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

No. No other characters have ever interested me beyond the story we're given within the confines of the show/movie/book like Mulder and Scully did. My friends would dive into Harry Potter or Marvel or (fill in the blank with anything) and I would try to get excited, but there's nothing.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Well, Scully because she's so bad-ass. She's always so certain of her convictions. We don't see her second-guess herself often.

Anne of Green Gables because against all odds, she still sees the beauty in everything.

Jo in Little Women because she is just so tenacious. She knows what she wants.

Hermione in Harry Potter. She knows the most important thing she'll do is help Harry and there is value in that, so she gives it all she's got.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I do. A couple of years after the original run was over, I lost a dear friend (met because of XF) and then later I had my first baby and life just got busy in a very different way so I fell out of the fandom and just dropped all of it.

And then there was the revival. I waited until all episodes aired and then binge-watched them. And I did the same with season 11, but waited about 6 mos after it aired to watch it, rewatching the whole series from the beginning, first.

But now I turn it on a few times a week while I'm folding laundry or making dinner or some other chore. It's nice to have it on in the background because I don't have to pay close attention because I know what's going to happen. I've actually watched the whole series a few times this way.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I still read XF fic. It's still my favorite thing to read. I am always looking for the next great fic to lose myself in. Back in the day, I would read any pairing, any genre...I was game for anything, as long as it was XF fic. I'm a little more choosy, now, but only because my free-time is more limited. I only want to read MSR and I'm not at all interested in revival fics.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I am partial to the novel-length AU and canon-divergent stories. I love everything by Prufrock's Love and Bonetree. I have read Paracelsus, A Moment in the Sun and the Goshen/Secret World series countless times. Journal 1999 and Journal 2000 by MD1016, The Mastodon Diaries by akaJake, Blinded by White Light by Dashak, Deliverance From Evil by Char Chaffin and Tess.

I could go on all day.

My absolute favorite story is Arizona Highways by Fialka.

I am partial to Scully angst. And the Emily storyline just kills me, so when authors take those elements and write a kick-ass story, I am there for it.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

How awful is it that I had to look up my fics to answer this question? I don't know that I have a favorite. That's like asking a mother which child she favors. Maybe One of the Damned.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I won't say never, but I don't think so. I've tried to start one or two with some ideas I've had, but I haven't gotten far with them.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

No. I don't even have time to read as often as I would like to.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Usually what if scenarios - I try to work out different ways the story could go in my head. I would usually have the guts of the story written in my head before I typed the first word.

What's the story behind your pen name?

There was already a well-known Rachel posting fic when I got started, so I just decided to go with a nickname - Rae.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My husband is crazy supportive and tries to convince me to write again All. The. Time. I never hid my XF obsession from anyone, but I don't think I told many people about my writing.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I am on tumblr and twitter, but like I said above, I don't really post. All of my stories are at Gossamer.

(Posted by Lilydale on February 9, 2021)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #rae

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plumbobble-head · 4 years ago

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Plumbobble Head’s Sims 3 LEPacy Challenge!

So I’ve had the Sims 3 for over a decade now, and in that time I’ve only really played with the Elgars... UNTIL NOW.

While I love my Elgars, there are so many aspects of the game I’ve never even touched, so I’m starting a new LEPacy challenge with specific gameplay goals for each pack! There are eleven EPs in total, which makes for twelve (!!) fun-filled generations! 🥳

🏠 One: Base Game

In the beginning there was a Sim... Her name was Isadora Plumb and she had just moved out on her own to Sunset Valley! Isadora’s lifetime wish is to befriend the whole town and become Super Popular. Her spouse must be an EA townie, and they must have a base game lifetime wish that I’ve never played. To earn a living she’ll join the Journalism career (one I’ve never tried!) and max the writing skill. I’ve also never played with a mooch or a kleptomaniac so Isadora is both!

✈️ Two: World Adventures

For generation two the family will move to Riverview, a world I’ve already played in, but we won’t be spending much time there because this generation is all about adventure! The heir will have the adventurous trait and either the Great Explorer or Seasoned Traveler lifetime wish. They must reach a high enough visa level to purchase a vacation home in one or more of the three worlds. The heir must have at least two children with a foreign sim (or sims!). They must also max the martial arts and photography skills.

🛠️ Three: Ambitions

The Ambitions gen is so *ambitious* it’s played with two co-heirs! They both move to a shared property in Twinbrook, where they will get matching tattoos to celebrate their new-found independence. Heir A will have the ambitious and eco-friendly traits and their lifetime wish will correspond with one of the Ambitions professions that I’ve not yet played through. Heir B will have the eccentric trait and Descendant of da Vinci ltw. They will register as self-employed in one of the skill careers and can earn a secondary income by selling things at the consignment store. This heir can only have children via the time machine (but a child of either of the gen three co-heirs can become heir for generation four).

🌆 Four: Late Night

After three generations stuck in the suburbs, this generation takes place under the bright lights of Bridgeport! The generation four heir is blessed with the star quality trait and wants to pursue fame and fortune in the big city. They can choose any of the EP’s lifetime wishes, but must reach level 5 celebrity status. They will live in a penthouse apartment and hire a butler to see to their every need. But life in the public eye means the heir is always at risk of becoming publicly disgraced... especially because they will have multiple romances! Someone in the family must also be a vampire (although it doesn’t have to be the heir).

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Five: Generations*

After growing up in the big city this generation’s heir wants a quieter life in Aurora Skies with the large, loving family they never had. The heir must have the family oriented and/or nurturing traits and the Surrounded by Family ltw. As per their lifetime wish, they must have at least five children... but will they be a strict or indulgent parent? At least one of their children will have their imaginary friend become real, and at least one of their children must attend boarding school.

*(EP does not come with new lifetime wishes or a new world)

🐾 Six: Pets

For generation six we’re off to Appaloosa Plains to live off the land! The heir - whether they be male, female or otherwise inclined - is unfortunately a horse girl. They must have the equestrian trait and Jockey ltw and must also max the riding skill. They and their spouse must not pursue traditional careers, but can support themselves by “farming”. This means gardening and possibly nectar making, but there’s some Store content that could work well here too. Every good farm has a cat and dog, which can be trained in hunting to sniff out collectibles for extra income!

🎤 Seven: Showtime

This generation’s heir grew up in the country but dreams of stardom in Starlight Shores! They have the natural born performer trait and their lifetime wish is to reach the top of one of the acrobat, magician, or singer professions. Like their great-grandparent, the heir must become a level 5 celebrity. But in spite of their fame the heir feels that something is still missing in their lives. Perhaps a genie will be able to make all their wishes come true...

🧙 Eight: Supernatural

Childhood memories of magical genie wishes have inspired the heir to move to Moonlight Falls in search of the supernatural! They must have the supernatural fan trait and become an occult sim (by whatever means necessary). Their spouse must also be an occult, but a different type to the heir. The heir must max the alchemy skill, but can choose any of the EP’s lifetime wishes. They will be so busy with their extraordinary magical life that there is no time for mundane things like housework... luckily Bonehilda is on hand to sort it out!

🍂 Nine: Seasons

This EP doesn’t come with any new lifetime wishes or a new world and doesn’t add a substantial amount of new gameplay (unlike generations). I’m not sure how I want to use it, or if I will skip it/combine it with another EP. For now I’m leaving it in as a wild card.

🎓 Ten: University Life

Gen ten is all about the pursuit of knowledge! The heir must attend university and can choose to study any of the majors I’ve never played. They can also choose ay of the EP’s lifetime wishes. The heir must gain the two extra trait slots by completing their degree and reaching max influence with at least one social group. They must also max the social networking skill. After returning from university the heir will make their home in Lucky Palms and pursue a career related to their chosen degree or social group. Because I’ve already played with plantsims, I might choose to add an alien to the family instead.

🏝️ Eleven: Island Paradise

The generation eleven heir loves to swim and will move to Isla Paradiso to live right on the water - literally - because they own a houseboat. They can choose any of the EP’s lifetime wishes but must also own a resort. Profits from their resort empire will support them while they explore the island and max the scuba diving skill. There are rumours of mermaids in the island’s waters... will the heir be lucky enough to befriend one?

🚀 Twelve: Into the Future

The oceans are rising and the island is no longer paradise! The heir knows that the advanced technology is the key to the future... but will the future be utopian or dystopian? They will have the bot fan trait and must max the advanced technology and bot building skills. They can choose any of the EP’s lifetime wishes. I don’t where we’ll end up at the end of the challenge... possibly on Lunar Lakes!

That’s the plan anyway! I might not stick to it exactly, but I’m excited to play every generation/EP which is kind of the point of a lepacy challenge after all!

Feel free to use/adapt for your own purposes!

#long post #sims 3 #ts3 #sims 3 legacy #ts3 legacy #ts3 lepacy #sims 3 lepacy #lepacy challenge #legacy challenge #ts3 challenge #sims 3 challenge #plumb lepacy #isadora plumb

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forever-rogue · 5 years ago

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Honey & Velvet - Part 6

A/N: We love a little cat and mouse game, don’t we? Either way, enjoy. Once you get to the end, you’ll know what happens next chapter ;) If you’d like to be tagged, please let me know, and as always, feedback and comments are always welcome! xx

Pairing: Maxwell Lord x Reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: none really, sexual tension (dot dot dot)

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

After Maxwell had left your office, you gave it a few moments before storming out and attempting to track him down and to make him atone for what he had just done. But he was long gone; your mind had taken just enough time to make its mind up to give him an easy escape. Sighing, your shoulders slumped as you let ran a hand through your hair in exasperation.

“Y/N?” you were snapped back into reality by the sound of Adina’s concerned voice, as she looked up at you with a confused expression etched on her features. Plastering on the best smile you could muster, one most accurately described as your customer service best, you feigned innocence, “what the hell was that?”

“What do you mean?” your voice was about an octave higher than normal as you turned to go back to your office, “where did he go?”

“Mhmm?” she’d already pointedly made the decision not to question you, especially as of late and her focus was already back on her paperwork.

“Maxwell,” you hissed through gritted teeth, loathing the bit of longing that seemed to seep its way into his name, “where did Maxwell Lord go?”

“Oh,” she peered up at your over her glasses, trying her best to keep off the little smirk that threatened to bubble up. She was slowly, but surely, putting two and two together. Not that it was particularly difficult at this point, subtly wasn’t your (or Maxwell’s) specialty, “he asked for directions to the restroom as he was leaving. Dunno where he went after that.”

You inhaled sharply at the revelation, inadvertently picturing him in your mind. You could imagine him stalking into the secluded bathroom, locking the door behind him as leaned against the cool tile of the wave, taking care of the…small problem you had created. You wondered what he sounded like while he worked himself to the point of no return, if he was vocal, if your name rolled off his lips as he spilled into his hand.

But no.

You couldn’t (and wouldn’t) dwell on that idea too much. If you did, you might completely lose any sense of self collection that remained and resort to doing the same thing to yourself. Biting the inside of your cheek to control yourself, you gave her a swift nod before stepping back inside your office and slamming the door.

The nerve. The absolute nerve of that man to walk into your office and pull such a stunt. But…then again, perhaps it was only fair after what happened over the weekend. It had been an accident, more or less, but it you weren’t quite sure that it warranted the little assault he had just committed. To stand him up outside of the boardroom was one thing, a light snub at best, but for him to make it personal and come into your office like a loose cannon? That was a whole different story.

But you had kissed him first.

That was besides the point you reminded yourself. You never would have pushed yourself on him like that if he hadn’t started it. You were…just trying to finish things.

Sure. You could live with that interpretation of things, even though it was only half true at best.

You flopped down in your chair and sighed. It was going to be hard to focus on anything else for the remainder of the day. All you could think about were his lips on yours, all over your chest, how they’d felt surprisingly…soft. Gentle even. And right. You’d half expected him to be as decent of a kisser as a limp fish, but he was pleasantly good. He knew his way around your body already. Maybe you’d just been desperate?

That must have been it. But it couldn’t have been desperation…could it? You’d been getting plenty of attention lately, mainly from Ben, who you were surprisingly on good terms with for once, so you weren’t exactly touch starved at the moment. So that meant…it really could have only left one reasonable answer.

Absolutely not. At least that’s what you told yourself in your head. You were not attracted to the spoiled brat of a man that sported last season’s suits and had hair the color of decaying corn. There was absolutely nothing attractive about him; you’d rather admit you found a squished slug handsome before you said the same about Maxwell Lord.

And yet…he was the one your thoughts kept drifting back to. He was the you thought about as you had brought yourself to orgasm late at night; his name was the only you allowed yourself to whisper. It was his ring clad hand that had been around your throat, turning you on much more than you thought about possible.

“Fuck,” you sighed at yourself, at your foolishness, under your breath. Tossing your head back, you stared at the messy pattern of the cork on your office ceiling, hoping it would provide you with some sort of answer. But it didn’t; instead you stared and stared, and the longer you looked, the more it felt like it was mocking you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see your reflection in the mirror, the same one Maxwell had stood in front of not long before. Pulling yourself up, you walked over to it, and started to fix your hair. It was a mess, locks out of place and wild, but you made swift work of straightening it back and making it look semi decent. Not like you’d just been on your back practically begging a man to fuck you.

The buttons on your blouse were mismatched, once again, a common theme in your life lately. Shaking your head at yourself you completely undid the whole thing and let it hang open for a moment, studying the upper half of your torso. The delicate skin of your breasts, collarbones and neck were flushed still, and the ghosts of bites and nibbles were already popping up, colorful hues of blue and purple. That fucker had really done a number in such a short period of time. While you rued how hard it would be to cover up in the coming days, sure they would attract some unwanted attention…you weren’t as mad as you though you would be.

They served as a reminder that while you had been the one who initiated the fervent slew of kisses, he’d been just as eager. He’s been just as eager to touch you, to feel your soft skin, to finally kiss you. Your soft moans had been like sweet music to ears, and will he would have gladly taken you then and there, he’d done everything in his power to hold back. And it had been a huge struggle, but somehow he’d managed. But still…he’d kissed you. He hadn’t fought you off, or completely denied you. That had to count for something, right?

Just a taste for now. It would have to satiate both of you for now. That’s what he reminded himself while his hands had been all over your body. Just a taste.

The rewards of him waiting, restraining himself would be the sweetest reward of all. At least that’s what he figured.

You slowly put yourself back together, making sure the buttons of your blouse were aligned, an irritated groan living your lips as the phone on your desk began to ring. You weren’t in the mood to speak to anyone earlier, you most certainly weren’t in the mood to speak to anyone now.

Before picking it up, you let out a small fuck, fuck, fuck of frustration. Hopefully this wouldn’t take long and you could go back to the afternoon of daydreaming you now had planned.

“Yes?” it sounded more defeated than you cared to admit.

“I’ve got Ben for you, if you’re available,” Adina’s tone was colored with bemusement, almost as if she knew the exact predicament you were in. Hells, she probably did. Half of your office probably did by now, “and uh, he wanted me to specifically mention that it was just business related.”

“Of course,” you turned to sit back and kicked your legs up on your desk, “go ahead and put him through.”

“Is…everything okay, boss?” she was desperate for you to spill more details but wasn’t about to push…not more than necessary anyway, “it seems like you’ve been…preoccupied lately.”

“If only that was the half of it,” you rubbed your brow, “men are a tricky situation.”

“That’s why I only date women,” she joked and you had to admit it had its own appeal, “but don’t let me influence your decision. Men always say that women are so complicated, but I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around.”

“I concur wholeheartedly,” you laughed quietly, “I guess I’d better talk to Ben and see what he wants.”

“Good luck,” she snorted with laughter before you heard the click of a button and Ben was on the other line. You heard about half a breath before you could practically see the smirk on his face.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Benjamin?” you couldn’t even lie and say you were annoyed to hear from him. After you’d reached your little…whatever you wanted to call it, you felt better. Like you could actually maintain a civil friendship with him, “okay wait, how bad and sarcastic did that sound?”

“On a scale of one to ten?”

“Hit me.”

“I’d wager a solid eight,” he laughed as you groaned, “I don’t take these things personally. I’m not offended, and my heart will go on.”

“Ahh, what a man,” you let some silence hang in the air for a moment, drumming your fingers along on edge of your desk, “what’s up?”

“I have a favor to ask,” he admitted and it was your turn to laugh at him, “it’s nothing big, but I’d appreciate your help.”

“Alright, alright, I suppose that’s only fair,” you had zero clue as to what he could need help with you. He seemed like the type of guy that had it all handled, that wouldn’t dare to ask for help, “what’s this favor then?”

“I have a gala I need to attend this Friday,” he explained and you leaned forward in your seat, trying to figure out what he was getting at, “our company is one of the sponsors for the center that’s throwing the gala and therefore its prudent that we attend and I realize it will likely be a dull affair and-”

“Ben,” you cut him off mid sentence before he could stammer on further, “you’re rambling. Please cut to the chase.”

“Will you be my date to the gala?” it was a rushed question, and it caught you off guard. You hadn’t been out in public with Ben in what seemed like eons; your first concern was what would people think? But then again…did it really matter what they thought? No. No one’s opinion mattered, not as long as you were satisfied with the truth, “please?”

“You want to be seen in public with me?” you joked, almost immediately having made up your mind, already trying to think of what dress you would wear.

“You make it sound like torture. Is the idea that repulsive to you?” you could tell he was joking, but there was a small part of him that was wondering if you were actually going to say yes.

“Oh the contrary,” you reassured him and there was a small sigh of relief on the other end, “I’ll go with you. I’ll be your date.”

“Perfect-”

“On one condition,” of course there was a stipulation attached.

“Name it.”

“Friends only,” you insisted. You wanted to set clear boundaries, to make sure he knew that you weren’t interested in anything else with him, “no sex. No…whatever else. And we don’t even pretend it’s a date.”

“Fair enough,” he agreed. You were a reasonable woman for the most part and it was a condition he could easily agree to, “saving yourself for someone else? Mr. Lord perhaps?”

“Oh my - goodbye, Ben,” you wanted to work that little smirk you knew was on his face off. He chuckled on the other end, clearly pleased with his little comment, “this is over for now. Send me details and I’ll see you Friday night.”

“So I was right-”

“Goodbye Ben-”

“You didn’t say no!”

“Ben,” you slammed the phone back into the cradle and let out a long sigh. Well, at least you had plans for a Friday night instead of moping around at home. Plus it would give you an opportunity to go and dress up. Now that was something you could get behind. Even if you were picky when it came to men, you liked to give them something to look at. They could always look but couldn’t touch.

Besides, despite how much you tried to fight it, you knew you were on the prowl for someone else. You knew, at one point or another, things would come to a head and one of you would fully snap. You didn’t know when, or where, but something deep within you knew that it would happened.

And you vowed to break Maxwell Lord before he could break you.

»»————-　♡　————-««

It was too much. You knew it was as soon as you had spotted it hanging on the rack at Bergdorf Goodman’s. Ben had told that the affair would be formal, but not overly so, and had insisted that whatever you had at home would probably suffice.

When you’d glanced through your closet, nothing had struck your fancy, nothing screamed pick me, pick me. Even though it didn’t really matter, and you’d be most likely spend the evening a space full of older people who would gloss you over, you still wanted…something special. You’d all but slammed your closet doors shut and made up your mind to go shopping. There was nothing but disappoint to be found in several stores, but at one of your last stops, you had found it. The dress you had been searching for, despite not being consciously aware of it.

But something, deep within you had caused you to gravitate towards the glittering gown. Something even more primal had compelled you to purchase it. You didn’t even bother to try it on, not wanting to waste time in the overly posh store and feel the judgment of the aging women that worked the registers. They were often the worst; they’d try and up sell the most expensive things and then call you a two bit whore as soon as you left.

But with this, you didn’t care. You knew all eyes would be on you and for one you night, you welcomed it.

By the time Ben had arrived to pick you up, you were looking at yourself in the mirror, topping your look off with the oxblood red color. It was indescribably eye catching and hung on your frame perfectly. It was a strappy number, pale pink in color, and glittering at every angle. It left very little to the imagination, but was just enough to be socially appropriate. You, honestly, weren’t planning on getting anything out of this whole evening. You just wanted to feel good…sexy even. That wasn’t a crime after all, right?

“Holy shit…” Ben let out a sigh somewhere between exasperation and pleasure as he met you at his car when the time. Flashing him an innocent smile, you slid into the backseat and followed suit, “I’m pretty sure I mentioned that this was…casual, more or less?”

“You did,” you admitted, feigning innocence, “but you can never be overdressed, can you?”

“I suppose not,” he shook his head, but gave you a gentle nudge with his knee, “if you’re not going to be the death of me, you’ll probably break a few necks when the old geezers get a look at you.”

“Tragic,” you put a hand on your forehead and sighed dramatically.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Conversation with Ben was pleasant, and by the time you arrived, you were feeling strangely at ease. That was until the valet helped you out of the car and you surveyed the swarm of other guests that were in attendance that evening. There were more people than you had anticipated, and a fair number that didn’t look over the hill.

But then your eyes landed on one particular guest, and your heart nearly stopped, plummeting into the bottom of your stomach. It couldn’t be…could it? Of all the people in all the world that had to be there, it had to be him; the golden haired man that had been haunting your every waking thought for the last several weeks.

Ben was behind you, attempting to straighten his bow tie when he noticed your sudden hesitation, the tension in your shoulders, and grim expression on your face, “what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen-”

“Maxwell Lord?” you sighed as your turned back to him, raising an eyebrow in question, “yeah, because I did. What the hell is he doing here?!”

“I-I had no clue,” he insisted, looking around as he tried to spot him in the crowd. His face turned into a mask of worry and confusion; you knew he was being honest. Ben was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a liar, and you knew he’d never do something that low to you, “I swear it. If I had known he’d be here, I never would have asked you to come.”

“Ben, sorry, it’s just…” you trailed off as you tried to figure out how to convey exactly what you were feeling to him. How were you supposed to explain, and appear rational and sane, to someone that while you loathed Maxwell (more or less), you also harbored a deep, burning desire for him?

“Do you want to go?” he put his hand on the small of your back, almost as if trying to shield from you being seen.

“No, really, it’ll be fine. I’ll suck it up and deal with it,” you promised, linking you arm through his, “but if you see him anywhere near me, warn me so I can run and hide.”

“Running from your demons?”

“Oh no,” you insisted, “Maxwell isn’t my demon…he’s something much more…I can’t describe.”

“Yeah,” Ben agreed, a little smirk on his face, as he started to lead you inside, “that sounds about right. What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself in, silly girl?”

“I wish I knew the half of it,” you sighed heavily, “I wish I knew.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

The evening had been going…surprisingly well. You’d managed to avoid your friend finding solace in tucking yourself behind Ben and remaining out of the center of attention. Normally you’d be out and mingling, enjoying the free flowing champagne and good company. But this evening - you remained almost silent, and pretty much as sober as you were quiet. Being the kind gentleman he was, Ben had promised you both make an exit as soon as it became socially acceptable. To say you were counting down the minutes would have been an understatement.

“I’m going to the ladies’ room,” you whispered into Ben’s ear, hoping for a quick there and back trip. He turned and gave you a nod, a questioning look on his face.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“It’ll be fine,” you promised, giving his hand a squeeze of reassurance, “it’s the ladies room after all, I think it’d be foolish for anyone to try anything there.”

He nodded as you walked away, keeping your eyes training on the floor so you didn’t draw too much attention to yourself. It was difficult with your current state of dress however; maybe you should have stuck to something more simple and muted.

But just before you could reach the reprieve of the privacy of the rest room, you felt a hand on your forearm, trying to stop you and get your attention. You froze in silent horror as you instantly knew who it was. You thought about yanking your arm out of grasp and running away, but instead, you remained there, waiting for his next move. It was all up to him now. Tugging on your hand slowly, you allowed him to turn you around so you were facing him. For once you were surprised to find an almost pleasant expression on his face.

“Miss L/N,” his voice was dripping with honey as he gave you the once over, taking in the dress and how it looked on you. To say it was a pleasing sight to him was a far cry from the truth, “you look positively…stunning.”

For once you didn’t feel like you needed to make a smart remark or give him some sort of witty push back, “Maxwell. Thank you.”

“I didn’t expect to see you here this evening,” he dropped your hand and crossed his arms over his broad chest, leaning against wall of the quiet hallway. You were both thankful that no one was around and you were more or less secluded, but part of you wished that Ben was there. Maybe you should have let him come.

“I could say the same for you,” you gave him your most dazzling smile as you got ready to turn around and head into the bathroom. You were definitely going to need a breather after that. You already felt hot and flushed from the most minute of touches.

“Here with Mr. Vasquez again,” he commented and you stopped, shrugging your shoulders.

“He’s a friend,” you insisted, feeling the need to prove yourself, like you somehow needed him to understand that. Why? Why did it really matter at the end of the day what Maxwell Lord thought?

“A friend,” he remained unconvinced, tilting his head slightly, only working to anger you further. He just had such a way about him, “and does your friend knew what happened to your neck?”

Your hand instinctively went to the flesh of your throat as you trailed a few fingers over it. The marks he had left all over you had been fading throughout the week, but a few particularly stubborn ones had proven to be a monumental challenge to try and cover. They were still peeking through every so slightly.

“He hasn’t asked and I haven’t volunteered the information,” you narrowed your eyes at him and he let out a soft laugh, “does that amuse you so?”

“Indeed it does,” he took a step closer and suddenly there was very little space between the two of you. You could smell his warm cologne, and tried to look anywhere but him, but your eyes found his. Somehow you were still just as drawn to him know as you had always had been, “you practically throw yourself at me and then hide it? What a shame.”

“You weren’t exactly fighting me off,” you reminded him as nodded slowly. He brought a hand to your face and ran his thumb over your cheekbone. Your breath hitched at the surprisingly gentle touch, “y-you want this just as much as me.”

“I do,” he admitted and you felt a small victory run through your veins at his revelation. He did want you, which he had made very clear, but hearing it like was…something else. It was like you’d just established some sort of common ground. He leaned closer and your lips were inches apart, if you leaned forward even slightly you’d be able to kiss him. You wanted to kiss him, every part of you was desperate to feel his touch again, “do you have any clue how hard it is coming here and seeing you look like that? How everyone’s eyes are on you?”

“Maybe,” you smirked slightly, wetting your lips as you stared at him, “and what about it?”

“I want to rip out the heart of every single man whose eyes have lingered on you, even if it was just a moment too long,” his large hand was on your cheek, lips pressed to you ear as he dropped his voice so only you could hear. It sent a delightful shiver down your spine in both wicked anticipation and a slight bit of fear.

“Oh?” you teased, turning your head ever so slightly to press the faintest of kisses to his cheek, “and just what are you doing to about it, Maxwell?”

“I’ll make sure everyone knows who you belong to you,” he trailed a few kisses along your jaw before stopping at your lips and staring into your eyes. You felt like he could see into your soul, and suddenly you didn’t feel like the strong, confident woman you had been playing at all night; you felt vulnerable and weak. Letting out a soft breath, you finally managed to regain some composure.

“And just who do I belong to?” you knew what he was saying, what he was attempting to get at, but you still wanted to hear it from his mouth. He put his hands on either side of your face, keeping your gaze trained on it; it was firm and commanding, but not too harsh or rough.

“You are mine,” he stated and you slowly found yourself nodding in acquiescence. You were his; he had instilled something in you that kept pulling you back in long ago. And here you were, at the precipice of giving into him, “and everyone will know it.”

Where was the brat that you wanted to be? Where was the woman that vowed she would not bow, bend, or break to the will of one man? Where the was the woman that would never give into Maxwell Lord?

You didn’t know her. At least not in the moment. At least not when the familiar fluttering had started in your belly and the throbbing between your legs increased.

He brought his hand to your throat and pressed ever so slightly, causing your lips to part with a surprised gasp. Then, in a surprisingly intimate gesture, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against yours, a contented sound leaving his mouth, “say it. I need to hear you say it. Who do you belong to?”

“You,” you agreed quietly, “I am yours.”

And then he crashed his lips onto yours, kissing you with a hunger and urgency than you had never felt before. And you…gave in. Just like that, just like you had been wanting to you, even if you were loathe to admit to yourself.

But just like that, you were all for him.

So you kissed him back, and wrapped your arms his neck, relinquishing control to him. It was frenzied tango, slowly crescendoing into something more, and you were so lost in what you were doing, you didn’t even remember where you were or what you had originally intended on doing. Until someone cleared their throat, and you pulled apart, pushing Maxwell away from you.

“I was wondering what happened to you,” Ben’s face was a mixture of surprise and concern as he spotted you. Once you’d been gone for some time he’d come going for you, just to make sure you were okay, “is…everything alright?”

“Ben,” you just knew you must have looked a sight but tried to play it off, “I…ugh, yes, everything’s fine.”

“I can see that,” he snorted lightly with laughter and Maxwell tried to smooth out his suit, “I’ll just wait for you and we can leave whenever you want.”

“Actually,” you surprised even yourself with your next words, “you can go without me. I’ll…be okay.”

Max raised an eyebrow at you, but kept his expression neutral as Ben gawked but nodded, giving you a small wave before turning the corner and heading out. You didn’t need to expand further.

“Are you…sure about this?” he searched your face as if to make sure you were positive. As much of an asshole as he could be, he wasn’t going to take this any further without you being fully willing. You turned to him and nodded, biting your lower lip.

“Yes,” you said as you turned to him, “I want this. I want you.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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Max Taglist: @pedrosdoll @pascalisperfect @cosmo-bear @halefirewarrior @irishleesh93 @tarrevizslas @nadia-rosea @longitud-de-onda @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @thesadvampire @thesadvampire @choicesarcade @avengingangelsoulofmusic @24kgolden @hystericalmedicine @whiskeyxinxaxteacup @rosetophighlander

#Maxwell Lord #maxwell lord x reader #maxwell lord x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #reader insert #ww84 #honey & velvet

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for-i-am-dying-of-such-love · 5 years ago

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that time I watched Antony + Cleopatra

I don’t even know where to start with this one. Please don’t mistake my criticism of the episode with my hating it, because I actually think there’s a lot going on here with Xena (and Gabrielle too, but I am less focused on her arc) that’s quite nuanced and compelling. I love that Xena’s role in orchestrating Marc Antony’s downfall contributes to her moral and emotional conflict. What I abhor (and refuse to accept) is the suggestion that it’s born out of her falling in *love* with him, especially when there are far more consequential things in Xena’s life, past and present, fueling her angst in this moment. I have my own reading of what’s causing Xena’s uneasiness here, but more on that in a bit.

First: I think my greatest frustration is with the show itself. Like, THE FUCKING AUDACITY to foist a Boyfriend of the Week on us with just a handful of episodes left in season five. After everything, *everything*, that Xena & Gabrielle have suffered through (actual, literal HELL), and the continued devotion they show for one another, it’s just not believable that Xena would fall in love with someone else, let alone a ROMAN GENERAL. The emphasis here is important, but patience grasshopper, I’ll get to that.

Now, here’s where we start to get into the weeds with this notion of ‘Xena falling in love’ and there’s a lot to unpack around it, but before I do, let me just finish unspooling the threads of frustration I have with the show and it’s AUDACITY. Because it’s important to note that the show’s intention *was* to frame Xena’s attraction for Marc Antony as romantic - on top of whatever else she may have initially felt (indifference, intrigue, lust) - and not just sexual. And while I’ll concede that a story where Xena is forced to sacrifice her heart for the greater good by killing the man she loves is intriguing, it’s one we’ve already seen (Immortal Beloved). More than that, it’s a story that doesn’t fit with the Xena we know now, and the show, better than anyone, should have recognized this.

I know I’m being hard on the show runners here, so allow me this small tangent to give a little contextual understanding before furthering my arguments. As much fun as it is wrestling with the internal logic of this show (a surprisingly uphill battle all the time), I understand the unfortunate truth is that character motivations don’t always drive the story in the ways you would expect. Sometimes external factors complicate the stories XWP wants to tell and the ways it’s *allowed* to tell them. I get that.

I also get that Xena: Warrior Princess - both the show and the character - was expected to be sexy (hello, an easy win because Xena & Gabrielle). And that means, from time to time, it had to tease the audience with sex and seduction and romance (I guess fighting demons in Hell for the soul of your SOULMATE is not romantic enough, but I DIGRESS). What that often translated as on screen was a parade of Boyfriends of the Week for our two favourite Gal Pals, and by this point in the show, well, frankly it had been a while since Xena had had her a boyfriend (the Ares arc in season 5 doesn’t count). Simply put: a Marc Antony type was past due.

In this case, he wasn’t just past due, he served a dual purpose - fulfilling their Boyfriend of the Week quota, but also helping to re-establish Xena’s sexuality after she’d had her baby. I happen to think the latter take is overly simplistic and misguided (because, what, pregnant women are not also capable of being sexual creatures?), but it’s something Rob Tapert has commented on. So, ok, sure, fine whatever.

To be fair, I’m not sure if the show was deliberately signalling the return of Sexualized!Xena, or if it was simply a byproduct of the chemistry between the characters, and the inherent sensuality of the story’s setting. Regardless, the end result was certainly titillating. And I get it. I get why they want Boyfriends of the Week sometimes. Sex sells, and this episode was a blockbuster.

And before I return again to being hard on the show runners about dumb boyfriends, I just want to point out that my specific problem isn’t that Xena has been given a *boy*friend. Xena is bisexual, so men are always going to be an option when she’s considering a romantic or sexual partner. My issue is that she’s considering *any* romantic partner at all! By the gods, she’s essentially married to Gabrielle at this point.

Ay, but there’s the rub. Because the same expectation that dictated XWP should be sexy, also dictated that it should be heteronormative. The show can repeatedly double down on Xena’s & Gabrielle’s emotional and spiritual fidelity but it can never be seen explicitly to be sexual too (just a reminder, I haven’t seen S6 yet). That’s the unfortunate and uncomfortable reality of television in the late 90s and early 00s.

But this is where I take umbrage: XWP may’ve been limited (by studio notes) to giving us a chalk outline of what Xena’s & Gabrielle’s relationship really looked like, but they most definitely had the ability to control how they coloured the relationships Xena & Gabrielle had with their Boyfriends of the Week. And again, in ‘Antony and Cleopatra’ the show chose to frame it as a love story, a romance, when simply playing it off as Xena’s libido run amok would have satisfied the episode’s need for sex appeal, while also honouring the fact that her heart has long been spoken for (don’t worry: taking Xena’s heart out of the equation won’t lessen her moral or emotional conflict any - I’m getting there!).

Because here’s the thing: Xena getting caught up in the heady thrill of a seduction play, especially with a man as attractive and powerful as Marc Antony is totally believable. And really, Xena taken in by *lust* makes sense, especially at this point in her life. I mean, it’s been a while since she’s had to play this seductive cat-and-mouse game (Ares doesn’t count) and maybe she’s forgotten how easy it is to slip into this character, how much fun it can be. Maybe it’s even a little liberating - this return to form from when she was wild and free - because a lot has changed since she last had to do this; she’s changed and in ways she never anticipated. She’s settled down, even if she’s still travelling the known world. Made a commitment to Gabrielle to share a life together, had a baby, and now the three of them are carving out their own little domestic sphere. And all of this is happening while she’s still reconciling the person she was before with the person she is now. Maybe she’s a little itchy.

Because this… this tension, the cadence of a feint and parry charm offensive, it’s familiar. Comfortable in a way she didn’t know she missed until she felt it again. It would be easy to see her drunk with dark delight, to momentarily lose sight of her head. It would be believable. What’s not believable is that she - a pragmatist - would ever lose sight of her heart. Because the stakes of the game are so high, for Egypt but also for her. (And for you in the back who’s clearly read ahead on the syllabus and is about to point out Xena’s checkered romantic history and her self-proclaimed soft spot for Bad Boys Who Love Like Fools - don’t worry, we’ll get there too.)

What I’m taking a generous amount of time to say is this: if they simply wanted to give us a lush and sexy episode, they could have delivered on the sexiness without attaching it to a love story! We are long past believing Xena only kisses people she’s in love with, or that she’s in love with all the people she kisses. There’s no need to pretend her sexual agency is only relevant or operational within the confines of a romantic plot line. But more than that, throwing an unbelievable romance into the mix really only serves to threaten the integrity of Xena’s motivations, because it risks reducing the entirety of her turmoil to: Xena loses another boyfriend, how le sad. And that is absolutely not the point.

Because the point is this: Rome fucking corrupts and perverts everything it touches. And Xena’s motivations are built from her (and now Gabrielle’s) tortured history with the empire and the men who run it. And if you’ll permit me, like 4,000 words, we can get into it and, hopefully, you’ll agree that shit is heavy enough on Xena’s mind without a ‘star-crossed lovers’ storyline. Remember, it was only a year ago that they both were nailed up by Romans and left to die under a cold, grey sky at the foot of Mount Amaro. That cross alone, and the long shadow it casts, is more than capable of supporting the dramatic weight of this episode, never mind the crosses that came before it.

So, I can’t overstate the importance of Xena’s past connection with Caesar and Rome. It informed so much of who Xena was to become, as a cruel and bloodthirsty warlord, and then later, as a warrior fighting for good. Even now, after Caesar’s death, that connection is still informing her. It will never stop. And, Rome will never be absolved of its sins against Xena & Gabrielle. There’s simply too much trauma in that shared past. Trauma that‘s telegraphed onto every interaction Xena has with Rome and its strongmen going forward.

And it’s exactly the reason Xena would never fall in love with Marc Antony. She might well lust after his body, but she will never pine for his devotion. Because, even in that moment under the stars when he is just a man with his chest cracked open, offering up to her his heart, beating strong and hungry in want of her affection, she can’t help but see the hardened, black veins where the love of Rome - like a creeping scourge - has left its vile mark. Of course she recognizes it, her own heart bore the same disease. A gift from Caesar. The pretty boy with his pretty words and his pretty promises, who so subtly disarmed Xena and then skillfully stripped away her defences until she had bared her heart to him. Who didn’t hesitate to flay it with a knife of her own making, it’s blade poisoned with his love for Rome.

He did not take her heart - sometimes she wished he had - but left it to rot in her chest, slow and angry. And it nearly destroyed her. Nearly drained her of every ounce of humanity she had left, as hatred and spite and cold brutality filled her up instead. He had weaponized Xena’s affection for him and used it against her and she was forever changed. In that singular moment she saw Caesar, and Rome - because Caesar was Rome and Rome was Caesar and they were one and the same - for what they truly were: insidious and unrepentant in their calculated villainy. And she hated - not just the man who betrayed her, but the monster who nursed him with poisoned milk, and all the other strongmen who nursed at the same teat. Because in that moment too, Xena learned that all the men who kneeled before Rome and lusted after her glory were the same.

But she didn’t let her hatred go unproductive. She had been careless and imprudent in her dealings with Caesar, and nearly paid for it with her life. Except she survived and then thrived, in her own insidious, unrepentant, calculated villainy. And she never forgot what Caesar had done to her, how he had done it. She turned it over and over and over again in her mind. Studied it from every angle. Studied *him*. Until she knew how he thought, how he moved, where he was weak and unsuspecting. Until she knew every single one of his plays, and how best to counter them. Where and when to lay siege. A secret weapon she cultivated, not just to destroy the man who destroyed her heart, but to lay waste to all the fools who followed in his footsteps. She wouldn’t be taken in by Rome again.

And, to be fair, the episode doesn’t try to run from this history. It just doesn’t linger in it any longer than is necessary to give a brief nod to Brutus and the crucifixion (which is a shame, because it informs so much of both Xena’s & Gabrielle’s psychology, but we’re getting there!!!). Even still, Gabrielle’s first words are loaded with its legacy, if not also quiet resignation: “Are we really going to do this?” Because: Fuck! Rome, again? They’re only willing to go another round with Rome because of Cleopatra, only willing to embrace the ghosts this will stir up because they feel they owe it to a friend.

So, of course they’re going to do this. Only, it’s no longer about vengeance, at least not the white fury that once burned hot in Xena’s veins. This is different. Xena’s ire still seethes, but she doesn’t plan to wield it like a mighty sword, rather she’ll channel it with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel poised to excise a tumour, deliberate and clinical. The plotting is easy - Xena has a library of schemes stored away in the vast reserves of her grey matter - but made easier by the fact that she knows Caesar’s playbook so intimately. The man may be dead but he lives on in Rome and the hearts of all the faithful men who love her - proud and predictable. Puppets whose strings she knows she can deftly manoeuvre. The problem is that Xena’s too comfortable in her self-assuredness. Her plan and her assumptions of how Roman strongmen operate and her ability to manage everything is founded on her understanding of Caesar. And none of these men are the next Caesar. And it’s a problem, because this was supposed to be a quick and straightforward trip up the Nile to Memphis to do a little housekeeping on behalf of a friend and it’s been complicated by the fact that her pawns are not being cooperative.

This entire endeavour is not what she was expecting, Antony is not at all what she was expecting. He’s disarmingly handsome and charming, like many of Rome’s great strongmen, and their chemistry is electric - a bonus when you’re really trying to sell your part in a seduction play - but she realizes a little too late that the game she plays with him is not the one she had planned on. It’s actually much more dangerous.

And, I get that many fans believe Xena’s sexual attraction to Marc Antony is meant to telegraph an underlying romantic attraction as well. That as their physical encounters become more intimate and intense, so too must Xena’s feelings for him. And it’s easy to read it this way because Gabrielle’s own jealousy seems to reinforce the very idea, and Xena, herself, looks increasingly unsettled after each interaction. But I think it’s too simplistic an answer. Xena’s unease about Antony is growing because her plan has been frustrated by unforeseen hurdles, none of which include her falling in love with him. And Xena is frustrated in return.

We totally see this play out in Xena’s treatment of Gabrielle. She is curt and cool and dismissive (at least until their balcony talk), especially after Gabrielle puts a spectacular halt to Xena’s picnic with Marc Antony. But Xena’s distance here is not because she’s being defensive (at Gabrielle’s continued suggestions that she’s lost the plot), or because she’s angry for the interruption (ok, I’m sure there’s a very base part of Xena that *was* disappointed), or because she’s hurt (how could Gabrielle not have faith in her?). It may come across that way, but, really, Xena’s just acting out her frustrations.

Because this whole situation with Marc Antony, if a little intriguing at first, is irritating. And Xena’s frustrated. On many levels. The most obvious, and least surprising, being that Antony’s attentions have left her itchy and it’s distracting. And not because the chemistry between them has set off a chain reaction of romantic feelings for him - Xena is not spending her free time daydreaming about the man behind the General. It’s simply because there’s a kind of fire in her veins now that she wasn’t expecting to deal with this time out and it has the tendency to keep her on edge. And it’s not that she can’t handle it - spontaneous combustion is sometimes an occupational hazard when she’s playing at desire - it’s just that this particular element was not part of her plan.

That’s the real frustration: Xena’s not used to her plans being stymied. Her opening move - rolling herself, naked and chained, out from a carpet - though, brazen, should have been the perfect lure, should have painted her Cleopatra as an easy, if not unwilling, target for Antony’s ambitions. Because all Roman strongmen are the same: pretty boys with pretty words and pretty promises and pretty predictable tastes for cunning and seduction that they weaponize for the glory of Rome; heartless but for their love of res publica.

And so, this exact play is one Xena is confident any ambitious Roman would pounce on - remember: she knows their playbook, was once herself on the near-losing end of such a gambit, back when she was still a little naive and the right words could soften her heart; before her legs and her psyche endured the full force of Rome’s wrath. Except Antony doesn’t take the bait, like she expects, and it catches Xena flat-footed, a position she rarely finds herself in and one she isn’t particularly fond of. And so now she finds herself having to regroup and change tactics on the fly, which is fine - she’s used to that too - it’s just that her forward momentum is frustrated by the fact that she can’t get a good read on Marc Antony, doesn’t quite know his angle. He’s an unknown and unpredictable variable in a plot that already has a lot of moving parts and it introduces just the tiniest element of doubt into the equation.

Which is why it doesn’t help that Gabrielle is dubious of Xena’s motivations surrounding Antony. Not that Xena blames her for her concerns. She knows they aren’t really meant to provoke - that they come from a place of genuine anxiety, born from Gabrielle’s intimate understanding of Xena’s unhappy past with both bad-boy types and the ravages of Rome. Knows that Gabrielle, whose heart has traced all the scars of that past and let her love be a salve, is steadfast in her belief in Xena, even when the wheels are falling off. But Gabrielle’s questions do provoke. They pique Xena’s frustrations. It leaves her feeling cagey - like her back is up - and she hates it because it means she’s dangerously close to being on the defensive.

And really, by the time Marc Antony invites her to meet him under the pyramids, Xena is running out of options. Her back isn’t just up, it feels dangerously close to being backed up against a wall. She’s only playing this game because she’s confident she’ll win - that’s why she led with such a shameless opening bid, presenting herself to Antony as she did - but with each round Antony’ coyishness has forced her to up the ante while she waits for him to play his hand. Once upon a time she might have enjoyed and encouraged this slow, deliberate back-and-forth - would have been willing to play it out until she was out of chips (and her clothes) - but she no longer has the patience. Not that she’s entirely immune now to the thrill of what they’re doing - Xena has always enjoyed the hunt and then playing with her food - it’s just that she needs him to reveal his hand before he can call her bluff because there aren’t anymore chips to spare and she has too much on the line to go all in.

But Xena’s emotional conflict isn’t just being driven by her frustrations with the way her plan is playing out - it’s priming the engine, to be sure - there are other feelings at work here too. And chief among them is a deep and growing unease with the roles she and Gabrielle have cast themselves in and the very real consequences that will come from their interference. It doesn’t sit well with Xena, the way they’re toying with the futures of Egypt and Rome - as if they are just prizes to be won and Brutus, Antony and Octavius are the game pieces that need to be maneuvered around the board until a winner appears. As if there aren’t millions of lives at stake. She hates it. Hates that she has been somehow cast above it all, to dabble, like some unworthy god, in the lives of so many, and yet also stuck in the thick of it, an unwitting pawn herself.

And the longer Xena’s game is in play, the murkier everything becomes. What seems like a straightforward plan on paper, is actually a mess of competing interests, each as cold and ruthless as the next. And right at the heart of it all: Xena (and Gabrielle too), judge, jury & executioner. Because despite her business-like approach when they arrived in Egypt, Xena’s ability to remain detached and objective is under pressure, especially as all the players in her game reveal themselves and their motivations resolve into finer focus.

And there’s something about Marc Antony. He’s truly unnerved Xena. Because he didn’t play by her rules, the rules she owed to Rome - and he, a Roman no less. Maybe there would have been a time in her past when this would have endeared him to her, but now it’s left her uneasy. He needles at her resolve, the confidence she has in her plan. There’s a part of her that starts to wonder if she’s mis-read him completely, and that’s the start of a slippery slope into thinking she has mis-read this entire situation. And she doesn’t have the time for back-sliding.

But the problem is this: no matter how she looks at it there’s no clear answer, only devastating consequences if she’s wrong. For herself, for the lives she’s playing with, and probably for most of the known world. Because Rome and her strongmen will stop at nothing to take it all. And that thought never leaves her. Rome is a constant drum beat in her mind: Rome Rome Rome. Xena knows what Rome is capable of, what these three men jockeying for her power are capable of, even if Xena doesn’t know *them*. It echoes in her mind every time one of them is before her - even as Marc Antony’s kisses leave behind a fever in her blood - Rome Rome Rome.

And while her mind whirls constantly, turning over strategy and tactics, she’s tried to keep her heart mostly out of this affair. Left it unburdened by the machinations of statecraft and violent political intrigue. Except for a dull ache - when she thinks about Eve downriver in Alexandria, or when her eye catches Gabrielle in an unguarded moment - Xena could almost believe the desert sun had turned her heart to dust. Almost. Except that ache is there and, like her frustration and unease, it’s been growing more persistent.

Because Xena has more than herself to consider now. Sure, she’s spent the last five years dedicated to preserving the greater good - whether fighting for her closest friends or the nameless, faceless masses - but it’s different now, she’s different, and not just because she has a daughter who needs her to come home. She has Gabrielle too. They have a little family. And even though Xena has loved Gabrielle for years, she feels fiercely protective of Gabrielle’s heart and love now, in a way she’s never felt before, with anyone. But then, maybe it’s not surprising: they did battle demons in hell for each other’s soul. That sort of thing changes everything.

And Xena can see how this is affecting Gabrielle, even if she doesn’t say it out loud. Remembers the pierce of iron through the flesh of Gabrielle’s hands as surely as she remembers it through her own. Rome has robbed them both and Xena sees the weight of it in Gabrielle’s gaze. Sees, too, the way Gabrielle traps her bottom lip in her teeth as Xena smiles seductively at Antony. Watches the flush creep across Gabrielle’s pale skin when Antony’s kisses become more emboldened. Catches the dangerous flash in Gabrielle’s green eyes. The one that hasn’t gone away since they arrived in Egypt. Xena sees and it makes her heart lurch. To watch her beloved watch her take delight in the charms of another. And to know the sight of it is a white hot grip on Gabrielle’s heart. Xena feels the burning clench around hers too.

And this is the Xena we see when she meets Marc Antony under the pyramids. Frustrated and uneasy, heart aching. Tired. Tired of this game and her role in it. Tired of Rome, but mostly tired of all the horrible things that happen by her hand because of Rome. And then there is Marc Antony waiting for her. Disarmingly handsome and charming, unnerving in his refusal to play into her hands, a Roman above all: a pretty boy with pretty words and pretty promises. And like all Romans, she expects the promises to be lies. Except, there’s something in the way he’s played his hand, the way he’s held back all this time, that tells her there might be truth in his words when he tells her he wants her love.

She can sense his confession even before the words are out. Maybe on some level she always knew, had seen the inevitability of this moment even as she refused to believe in the possibility. But his words pierce the haze that has kept her from seeing her own folly. And it’s like lightning in a bottle. The way every frayed nerve snaps and jumps and arcs all at once - the rain of sparks illuminating everything that had left her mind and heart unsettled - in an instant of sudden, total understanding. It steals her breath and slices at her heart, this clear and unbearable realization. What she’s done and what she still has to do to bring this absurd game to a close.

See, she’s made a terrible miscalculation. Because in her mind Roman brutes are heartless. Capable of loving only Rome. And her seduction of Marc Antony was only ever meant to be a power play. How could it be anything more? She had weaponized lust and sex in the past to get the things she wanted, this was to be no different. Except that it was. And her hubris - her prideful overconfidence in her infallible, little plan, coupled with her resolute belief that all Roman men are Caesar at their core - has led her to overplay her hand. Not that she won’t still find a way to win. It’s just the cost will be much higher than she could have anticipated.

Because she has unwittingly weaponized Marc Antony’s affection for her and now she is going to have to deliberately use it against him. It is devastating. To see his chest bared to her so willingly, and to know that she must flay his heart with a knife of his own making. It shakes her resolve. It brings tears to her eyes.

But of course it brings tears to her eyes. She has done the unthinkable: she herself has become Caesar. The thing she hated most. The man who won her trust and her love and then betrayed her. Cold and hard and heartless. Brutal and ruthless and willingly so. In this moment she is Caesar. And soon she will become Rome, sacrificing another man, who might yet have been good, in the name of her unrequited love.

This moment under the pyramids is so important. Everything hangs on this declaration from Marc Antony, on Xena’s tears. I know people see it as confirmation of Xena’s feelings for him - and she has feelings to be sure - but they’re not romantic. Xena’s emotional reaction, and the genuine unease she wears thereafter do not hinge on her being in love with him. Xena’s humanity is enough to soften both her heart and her regard for Antony in this moment. Her compassion and regret are not dependent on attraction or attachment. And so the story doesn’t need to frame her tears for Marc Antony as a lover’s heartbreak, because her heart was always going to break for him, as it breaks for herself and Gabrielle and the ruin left in their wake.

And there will be ruin. Xena is certain of it. Although, for a moment, she might have held a glimmer of hope for Antony. This Roman who’s willing to give up his army for love. For love. Not that she wants what he’s offering. She just wants to believe he could be different. Not for her. For Rome. But then his sword is hilt deep in the belly of one of Brutus’ men and then slicing through the throat of another. And Xena knows - even as she and Gabrielle dance around the subject hours later, bathed in moonlight and disquiet - that any hope for him is misplaced. Knows exactly what he will do with Brutus’ army and Octavius if he prevails. Is keenly aware of what awaits if he learns of her deception and is allowed to live.

Because once upon a time she was the one who trusted and loved and was betrayed and lived. And thousands paid the price at the end of her sword for Caesar’s treachery. Xena can’t even imagine what Marc Antony, favoured son of Rome, might do. Can’t risk the chance. So he must pay the price at the end of her sword too. Xena wishes it weren’t so, tries to avoid the fight that will take his life - because now that she’s seen the humanity in her enemy she wants no further part in this madness she’s helped to orchestrate - only she doesn’t have a choice now. Alea iacta est - the die is cast, and her blade and her betrayal find Antony’s heart all the same. And when the end comes, there’s Xena, soaked in blood and rain and tears, in the middle of this fucking mess, the dead and wounded scattered about her. She can’t escape the truth of it then: she did this.

And it’s this! All of this - the many layers of trauma in need of reckoning and Xena’s tangled heart, twisted further by the part she is forced to play in Egypt and the goddamn fucking senselessness of it all - that carries the emotional weight of the episode. Who needs a Boyfriend of the Week when there’s already all this angst?

And, ok, I hear you say: Pattie, you’ve made some valid points about Xena’s state of mind, but why can’t Xena’s emotional and moral conflict be born from this fraught personal history AND from the fact that she *was* falling in love with Antony? Wouldn’t that make it an EVEN MORE dramatic and powerful story? Because she was specifically falling in love with a ROMAN GENERAL, the very epitome of the thing she has spent most of her adult life hating?

I would like to agree with you, dear skeptical reader, but the simple truth is that there isn’t room for both in *this* story. The reality is this: a 44-minute-long, action-focused show like XWP just doesn’t always have a lot of extra time to linger on the emotional beats. And this episode, in particular, already so busy with all the palace and political intrigue, has even less. So much of what we’re able to read of Xena’s psychological state - and *why* it’s so deeply fraught - doesn’t even come from this episode. It relies on past emotional beats to inform our understanding of her behaviour. (And, I don’t know, perhaps this is why a casual viewer might pass off Xena’s and Marc Antony’s interplay as romantic - because most of the horrible things that have happened to Xena by Roman hands are left unsaid, and surely, if we’d been reminded of them we would never accept that Xena would fall in love with a golden boy of the empire.)

As it is, there’s barely space for any kind of meditation on how either Xena or Gabrielle are feeling about the roles they are being forced to play and the seemingly callous and ruthless tactics they increasingly use to do so, let alone a tenuous romance. And the former is what this episode should be actively engaging with: the moral ambiguity that has been driving season five and will continue on through the end of the series.

Further complicating things with a love story, doesn’t make the episode more dramatic, it just takes up emotional bandwidth that could be better served elsewhere. Because, yes, Marc Antony is the epitome of the thing Xena has spent more than a decade hating! Xena’s history with Caesar and Rome (and everything they both stand for) is richly layered and devastating. It cannot be erased or ignored. To suggest that she is capable of falling in love with Antony (and to ask us to then believe it) without also deliberately exploring the tension inherent in that act is obtuse.

Those kinds of emotional beats need room to fucking breathe. And the episode doesn’t do this because there’s just too much happening. It tries - in broad, moody strokes - to capture the tenor of Xena’s emotional landscape, and it succeeds in wrapping us up in the same angst that drapes Xena, but the source is nebulous. Her haunted looks and tears - under the sphinx and when her sword finds Antony’s belly - can only telegraph so much, especially when we have been given very little reason to feel invested in her supposed affection towards him.

And here’s where we finally touch on Xena’s checkered romantic history - and her self-proclaimed soft spot for Bad Boys Who Love Like Fools (10 points to Ravenclaw for your patience) - because I’m sure you’re about to suggest that Marc Antony’s air of a Bad Boy is itself cause enough to garner Xena’s affection. Powerful, disarmingly handsome, and charming? Check, check, check. Capable with his ‘sword’? Bonus: super check. But just because her past is littered with dysfunctional relationships and Bad Boys - though I’m sure not all were bad, and some were definitely women - doesn’t mean she’s interested in repeating her mistakes. The Xena of old is vastly different from the one we know by season five, even if there are parts of her that are very much the same.

The principal driving force in her early adult life and formative romantic relationships was lust. It ruled over every part of her. Lust for: power and for violence and for blood and for riches and for infamy, and, of course, for sexual gratification. And so, she sought out partners - themselves driven by the same hunger - who could satisfy all of her desires, not just her (very) carnal appetite. She fell hard and fast and burned white hot until something, or someone, else came along and made her feel even more incandescent. In those early days, Xena wasn’t looking for *love*, she was looking for a good time.

Now, that’s not to say Xena’s past romantic entanglements were frivolous or lacking in genuine sentiment. At the very least, I suspect many were sustained by the warm affection that comes naturally from the intimacy of sharing your life with someone, whether they’re riding into battle alongside you or just warming your bed over a long winter. Nor is it meant to be dismissive of whatever fondness she felt for her lovers. Because: not all love looks the same. There are different kinds of love and different ways to love.

For Xena, though, whose heart had been so thoroughly and devastatingly mangled by Caesar’s betrayal, love was immaterial. At best, it was the unintended, if pleasurable, byproduct of a mutually beneficial arrangement. At worst it was a weakness that her enemies could exploit. Mostly, it was just a silly notion to scoff at. And the feeling Xena would come to associate with love - whether she acknowledged it as such, or not - was informed by both the dynamics of her relationships with Bad Boys and her own dark, irrepressible designs. It was selfish, and often cruel. Grounded in hot blooded impulses and savage desire, rather than growing out of an honest and patient connection.

And it became so thoroughly ingrained in her psyche. It was her overriding view of love. Even after she came to recognize how different love could be - and look and feel - once it was no longer centred in selfishness, when it was open and giving and kind, it was a struggle for Xena to undo her conditioning, to rewrite her love language. Because: first, she had to accept that she was worthy of this new kind of love, and then she had to actually accept it once it was offered.

But, old habits die hard, even for Xena, and I’m sure there were times - when she was just beginning to reframe how she viewed love and was learning how to reopen her heart - that she slipped back into her outmoded ways of thinking. Conflating lust with something else; allowing herself to be tempted by dalliances with partners who stoked her selfish desires, instead of tempering them. And maybe if Xena had crossed paths with Marc Antony then - back at the beginning of the series when her history with Rome was still messy but not nearly as tortuous as it is by the end of season five (you know after Britannia and its fallout which was the beginning of The Rift, and the deaths of Crassus and Ephiny and Pompy and the countless others who were the collateral damage surrounding those events, and, of course, Xena’s & Gabrielle’s own death on the cross) - I’d be willing to believe that she could love him.

Because, at one time Xena might have been interested in a man like Antony, might have been able to look past the Roman tunic and pursued him, taken in by his magnetism and allure. But by this point in the series Xena just isn’t interested, and not because her duplicity has made it impossible for her to be, but because by now her entire understanding of love - of being loved and giving love and nurturing it and making room for it to grow - has fundamentally changed. It’s been re-centred in selflessness, and everything that Marc Antony represents is antithetical to this new appreciation.

And I get that there’s an argument in here somewhere, that suggests Xena’s new approach to love might have softened her heart in such a way that she’s both able and willing to see the man behind the General, and be open to loving him too. But I would argue that the very things, the very people, whose love has transformed Xena’s heart are also the very things that would stop her from ever letting her heart go there. It’s not just that her point of reference on love has changed, it’s that she’s had years now of lived experience to break that cognitive dissonance between her attitude - knowing the kind of love she wants, the kind of love that’s *good* for her - and her behaviour - choosing that reaffirming, selfless love instead of the tempestuous, selfish one. She’s not blind to her past weaknesses, she knows exactly the sort of temptation Marc Antony offers - as surely as Gabrielle does the moment she lays eyes on him - but recognizing it is not akin to considering it. Because: Xena’s already found the love she needs and wants (and knows she’s earned and deserves).

Ok, but what of Xena’s admission on the balcony, when she cops to having a soft spot for Bad Boys Who Love Like Fools? I think it’s less about admitting (to herself as much as Gabrielle) that she’s developed romantic feelings for Marc Antony, as it is about Xena acknowledging a certain sort of fondness she feels for these ‘Bad Boys’. A fondness that’s born from a mutual understanding. Because: I think Xena sees herself in these men - at least an earlier version of herself - when she was ‘bad’ and foolhardy at love, and her heart tugs at the memory of it. Some curious mix of nostalgia and empathy, that softens her regard for them.

And she certainly sees herself in Marc Antony. The parallels between her story with Caesar and the story she’s now playing out with Antony are unavoidable, and if she’s cast herself as Caesar in this shadow play then Marc Antony is her younger self. Of course she would have a soft spot for him, she knows how this story ends. Knows, specifically, what it’s like to be willing to give your trust and your love only to be betrayed in return. And, of course, it’s made only more complicated with the knowledge that she’s the one who will ultimately be his ruin.

So, finally, exhausted and exasperated and, like 7,000 words into this, I hear you ask: what does it really matter? Xena doesn’t choose Marc Antony in the end, so what does it matter if it was lust or love or guilt or a fucking mid-life crisis that was driving her in this episode? Well, dear, patient reader: it matters because Gabrielle deserves better (THIS IS A BOLD STATEMENT, I KNOW, AND IT’S NOT AN INDICTMENT ON XENA’S CHARACTER EITHER, IT’S JUST THAT I FEEL VERY PROTECTIVE OF GABRIELLE’S HEART, OK! AND THE ONE THING THIS EPISODE DOES IS GIVE GABRIELLE THOSE LITTLE BEATS WHERE WE LINGER ON HER VISIBLE REACTIONS TO XENA’S TETE A TETE WITH ANTONY AND SHE’S CLEARLY JEALOUS AND HURT AND WORRIED AND SO, LET’S NOT LOSE SIGHT OF THE FACT THAT HER EMOTIONAL STAKES ARE ALSO INCREDIBLY HIGH IN THIS EPISODE, NOT JUST BECAUSE HER LIFE PARTNER IS SEDUCING SOME DUDE, BUT ALSO BECAUSE THE LEVELS OF BRUTALITY SHE’S INCREASINGLY HAVING TO EMPLOY ARE ALARMING. AND SO, SOMEONE IN THE WRITER’S ROOM WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS WHEN THEY WERE OUTLINING THE STORY - UNDERSTANDING THAT THERE’S AN UNDERCURRENT IN XENA’S & GABRIELLE’S RELATIONSHIP THAT WOULD MAKE SEEING XENA WITH ANTONY UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT THEN NOT ALSO RECOGNIZING THAT THAT SAME UNDERCURRENT WOULD MAKE IT EQUALLY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR XENA. AND IT’S JUST LIKE: TEAM, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT TO GABRIELLE? HER HEART MUST HAVE BEEN IN A TERRIBLE STATE. AND WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE XENA COMPLICIT IN THIS?)

But, seriously, I’ve spent all this time diving deep into this episode and the ways it comes up short and why, and while I’ve alluded to it, I’ve mostly avoided the elephant in the room.

We need to talk about Gabrielle.

Because: Gabrielle is at the heart of why a romance between Xena and Marc Antony feels contrived and unconvincing. At this point in the show, it’s clear Xena & Gabrielle are fully and completely committed to each other (and, yes, I know that doesn’t necessarily preclude either of them from also seeking romantic or sexual partners elsewhere... I just don’t think they’re the sharing types, but I DIGRESS) - I mean, we *just* had ‘Kindred Spirits’ where they were nesting and talking about domestic bliss and privately teasing each other about their sex life in the most blatant way possible and failing miserably at breaking up but winning at being cute and married and adoringly in love. And I think it’s important to acknowledge the weight of Xena’s decision to very clearly have Gabrielle as her *life* partner - because implicit in the act of choosing to commit yourself to another person is a vow of fidelity, a bond that would be near-holy to Xena, whose word means everything.

But more to the point: Xena loves Gabrielle and Gabrielle loves Xena, and their love has been the beating heart of this show from the beginning. Gabrielle’s care and tenderness has been transformative - everything that Xena has come to understand about love, everything that she does to honour and protect it, is because of Gabrielle and the heart she’s so selflessly given of. And it’s this love story - and how the show has framed its slow and beautiful unravelling - that becomes the bench mark, the gold standard, for how all other love stories in this universe should be viewed, for how Xena, herself, now views love.

So, I guess what I’ve been saying all along is this: Xena can’t possibly be falling in love with Marc Antony because she’s already in love. Deeply, profoundly, bound-for-all-eternity in love. And no one, in this life (or any other, let’s be real) will ever compare. Not pretty boys with pretty words and pretty promises. Not Bad Boys Who Love Like Fools. Not even a god himself. There is only Gabrielle.

#xena #xena warrior princess #xwp #otp: for i am dying of such love #xena and gabrielle #S05E18: Antony + Cleopatra #pattie has some thoughts #the fucking audacity #i still cannot even

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ezrasarm · 4 years ago

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Oh man it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these. Thanks for tagging me @moonlight-prose!

Nickname: I go by Moose on here but Snache is one I’ve had from family for as long as I can remember. Otherwise I just get lame shortenings of my name a lot 😂

Pronouns: she/her

Star sign: Sagittarius (I never know how to spell that)

Height: 5′7

Time currently: 7:44am it’s coffee time babyyyyy

Birthday: December 20th

Favorite groups/bands: Too many to choose from!!! Pearl Jam, Temple of The Dog, Mad Season, The Frames, CCR, The Band, Steppenwolf, CSNY, The Walkmen, anything with Jack White in it because hes in a lot of great bands, Cream, The Decemberists, Death Cab For Cutie, Fleetwood Mac and many more that I’m missing

Favorite solo artist: Mick Flannery, Hozier, David Keenan, Glen Hansard, Eddie Berman, Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Rodríguez, Father John Misty, Laura Marling, Joni Mitchell, Lisa Hannigan, god I know I’m missing so many amazing ones too

Song stuck in my head: Boys in the Better Land - Fontains D.C.

Last movie you watched: Oh god I don’t even know. I was watching snippets of Prospect for my infographic but I think the last one I watched all the way through might have been Unbreakable

Last show you binged: Star Wars Rebels because I’m addicted to Star Wars content apparently 😂

When you created your blog: My original one? I think it was 2015 but I didn’t really use it that much until 2016 and this one was exactly one year ago tomorrow! Spooky timing there!

Last thing I googled: Jaig Eyes

Other blogs: I have a fair few. My main is @just—a—snail, I have an old Pearl Jam fan account called @pearljamstuff which I haven’t been very active on lately, I have a semi-abandoned studyblr @mokastudies that I pop up on every once in a while when I decide I want to attempt being aesthetic™️ and this one for all things Star Wars and Pedro Pascal related

Why I chose my url: I found the idea of Ezra’s sentient arm off voyaging the world and blogging its life story funny so I rolled with it 😂

Do you get asks: Sometimes! And I love them but I’m afraid I’m slipping behind on replies cause I’ve been tangled up in school work and when it gets full (which in my book is anything more than five asks) I get freaked out and avoid it. It has nothing to do with you guys I’m just irrationally afraid of it at the moment

How many people you are following: almost 400 😂 because all of my very random interests in side blogs are connected to one main it’s a little messy and I’ve gotta clean it out cause it’s no longer a representation of my interests

How many followers: 1,200 👀 i don’t understand it either

Average hours of sleep: My cat ensures that I have a very consistent sleep schedule. I’ve gotta be up between 6:30 or 7 otherwise he thinks he’s gonna starve to death. I’d say it’s usually between 6-8 depending on how late I stay up scrollin’

Lucky number: I have no idea but when I thought about it the number 7 just popped up in my head so I’m gonna roll with it

Currently wearing: Sweat pants and a hoodie cause I just rolled out of bed

Dream job: People keep asking me this and I don’t know. Anything in a creative field sounds good to me. I think it would be very groovy to write screenplays though

Dream trip: A road trip around the ring road in Iceland or a tour through Ireland and the UK because I have a lot of friends over there that I miss dearly

Favorite food: Does coffee count? I have no idea, I just generally enjoy most food. Any kind of pie, a good Thai green curry, anything I can top with cilantro and lime—this all sounds simultaneously very vague and specific. The short answer is give me food and I’ll be happy.

Favorite song: I can not for the life of me try to answer this question but at the moment I’m really into a cover of Dear Prudence by Jerry Garcia

Top 3 fictional worlds to live in: I love this question! Star Wars, Prospect, Asgard but not even like the marvel comics one like the crazy one from actual Norse mythology cause shit gets wild in there

Tagging (but hey, no pressure): @ghostlyshadow @kiss-evans @alwaysbethewest @rebelhan @clone-rambles

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grumpygreenwitch · 2 years ago

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The Fairy and the Prince #23 + #24 + #25 + #26

There’s a bit of language to this one, just in case an advance warning is needed.

Adam did little more than sleep that week, growing restless and impatient the longer he was kept abed. Master Leminy came to see him, startling the young prince with his quiet manner, awkward as he was doling out good wishes. He didn't say it, but Adam believed the Master of Scions knew, or at least suspected, what had happened the night before Rickard's departure.

Prince William came by, briefly, to drop off a small bundle of candies. He'd been sick a few times in his life, and the candies, he told Adam, helped with the almighty foul flavor of the medicine. But beyond that he hardly knew what to say or what to do with himself, and he fled gratefully when Adam declared himself too weary for visitors.

He received a letter from his parents. His father had written the larger share; it was a long and stern lecture that on Adam's shoulders rode the future of their family, and it was not for him the freedom to take such risks with his health. Adam read long enough to know he'd have been better off not receiving it at all and threw it off to one side.

But inside it, folded small and carefully sealed, was a note from his mother and a small, pressed linden flower. She bid him make tea with it, hoped he would eat properly and make friends, and dress warmly in the cold season to come. It was a bland, nice, very proper, very formal note. Unlike his father's vast and complex signature, she simply appended 'Eleanor' at the end.

It told Adam very loudly who was responsible for him never getting mail from home, and confirmed that he likely never would again.

In the end, winter came and only Needlemaw remained, though she only spent her nights with Adam; all of her time otherwise was consumed with William. Adam filled his days with jousting and fencing; he thought himself passingly good at both and didn't mind teaching the younger princes, minded again of what he'd told his older peers at William's birthday party: it was good to make friends of someone who might eventually be your king.

He began to feel watched.

Sometimes it was a large black bird on the bare branches of a tree, or perched on the fence surrounding the riding yard. Sometimes it was a black cat with eyes like mismatched chips of ice, sprawled bonelessly on the sill of one of the windows of the fencing room, watching the princes come and go with shouts and calls and points assigned. Sometimes it was an immense black dog, larger than a wolf, with lambent, uneven eyes. He'd known there would be a price to pay for his interference with Rickard, but when the days dragged on and the feeling remained without anything actually happened, he began to feel his patience wearing thin. Before he could do anything about it, however, Needlemaw came to give him her real-for-real farewells until spring. The feeling of being watched left with her.

Adam focused on his studies, as always he did. The Dowager Queen had insisted on adding new teachers, who brought dancing and painting, poetry and theater to the palace, arts to keep the spirit alive. Adam wasn't sure what to make of a curriculum that had him trying to paint pears on a canvas in the morning and learning how to fight in the middle of an unbroken line of salt or iron filings without disturbing it in the afternoon. But it was all knowledge, even if some of it was terrible knowledge, and he drank it all deeply.

Winter was dismally cold, bitter and short. Fresh young leaves froze twice on the branch when the trees rushed to unfurl them in the unseasonably warm days. Several young trees and not a few older ones had to be felled in the Royal Gardens when such trickery of the weather killed them from exhaustion. Adam went into the wood and clung to the immense trunk of the gracious linden tree. "I can't hear you," he whispered. "I can't understand you. I can hope you do both, though. I think you do. Wait. Please, just wait. Linden will know when it's safe. Wait."

No trees bloomed with too-early green in that little clearing.

He nearly dropped the teacake. "Her Majesty is most kind and generous," he stammered, sounding strangled even to himself.

She waved the words aside. "I don't mean the crown. I mean me. Your grand-aunt." She paused to consider. "Why, I actually am your grand-aunt, Eleanor is my niece, directly." She seemed briefly surprised. "You don't like me."

Adam pressed his lips shut until he felt them sting. "There are," he managed at last, as if the words were someone else's, "a lot of dead princes out there. It would make it hard to like anyone."

She went very still, that graceful woman with exquisitely coiffed silver hair and delicate features like a china figurine, with his eyes flashing on her face. "So there are," she said simply. "Would you rather I give the throne to the Folk in the Woods?Do you know what that would do?"

He remained stubbornly silent, knowing anything he said would be used against him.

"It wouldn't be just dead boys out there anymore. It would be everyone, anyone. Anyone they felt like taking. Arditty, your friend Beliwick, the maid that's actually been teaching you deportment. Prince William. The dogs in their kennels, the cook's babe in her crib. Anyone." She stared him down. "Would you rather that?"

"They're not all bad."

"Perhaps. But I've met none good," she replied, sipping at her tea. "If that should change, well." She poured herself some more tea. "I hear you went to the woods and declared you don't want the crown."

"I was just wondering what would happen if I did it," he admitted, feeling his face burn. He'd been thinking about the Folk in the Woods hearing him; it hadn't occurred to him that it would be even more embarrassing if someone else did.

"And? Did something happen?"

"No." Adam blew out a long breath. "I'm guess I'm not old enough for it to matter."

She laughed a little at that. "There will be time enough for you to speak such words when they matter, Adam. I will be sorry to hear them, because I think you would make a fine king. But I think all of us, here in the palace, we've been robbed of quite enough agency that I will not force you to silence." When he looked at her in shock, her delicate silver brows went up. "Did you think I'd do otherwise?" She shook her head. "You don't like me; of course you'd think that." Drawing a deep breath, she sat up as rigidly as if she where on the throne, holding court. "I have written to your family. I've let them know that I don't approve of their abandonment. If you should take the crown someday, you would be quite within your right to cut them off from your life and your power and your sphere of influence."

"But I don't -" She lifted a hand and Adam felt obediently silent out of good training.

"I expect no miraculous results. Balthazar is an idiot, and quite unworthy of your mother. But I think we can expedite a proper response and still remind you that, while you don't have to like your monarch, you should still be somewhat loyal to her. You are leaving."

"What?!"

"In two weeks you're leaving for Astimonde, along with a dozen of your peers. The ones most outstanding in their studies," she added. "You'll be touring the colleges and collections of the realm at large, adding a personal, practical touch to all that you've learned from your teachers and your reading. My advisors estimate the trip should take six, seven months."

Adam stood frozen, his heart gone to a stone, his thoughts gone to a whirlwind without meaning. The tea tasted like bile in his mouth. He bit back every protest, knowing she wouldn't care. He swallowed every potential argument of logic, knowing they wouldn't move her. "Is this supposed to make me like you?" he could scarcely get the words out around the knot strangling his heart.

"No. Goodness, no. If you don't like me by now you never will, Adam," she replied calmly. "But it is meant to remind you and your father that it's profitable to make sure your monarch likes you."

***

Adam knew very little of what came after that meeting.

He fled into the woods as soon as he could, and didn't come back for meals or curfew. Dane and Beli went into the woods looking for him after sunset, once again braving the dark with torches. It was Culli-maid who found him, rousing early to tend to her duties before she could tend to Arditty's or Adam's. She saw the lamps burning in one building and raced to wake the boys.

They found him in the training hall, fists bloody, breathing hard, expression empty, one of the punching bags spilling the sand of its guts all over the exquisitely inlaid wooden floor. For all that their prince had so thoroughly puzzled and disconcerted and surprised them over their years together, it was the first time they both knew themselves afraid of him. "Highness?" Dane dared. He had two years on the prince and nearly a foot on both height and width, with the mass to go along; at that moment, he didn't like his odds.

"Don't call me that." Adam's childish treble was breaking to a low tenor, hoarse with too much shouting at the moment; it would likely be pleasant once it stopped going all over the place, even if it would never carry across a battlefield. "Please." He seemed to wake up at that belated, single word, and staggered so that they had to catch him.

"Are you hurt?" Beli asked.

"Nowhere that matters," Adam replied. "What time is it?"

"There's no one to see you," Dane replied, quickly catching onto what Adam was actually asking. "But we need to get you to your rooms before the castle wakes up proper."

"Oh, it's dawn already?" Adam asked as they half-carried him out of the training hall. He blinked blearily up at the dim gray light of false dawn.

"Close enough," Dane replied as they hurried across the empty jousting grounds, hoarfrost clinging to their boots and melting swiftly, soaking along their pants. By the kindness of the old gods they met no one until Culli ushered them into the young prince's rooms, where she fussed over them all and put Adam to bed with a sleeping tea.

This time, it was Dane who waited in the woods, much to his terror and yet staunch in his loyalty. Beli was to travel with Adam as his manservant; he'd been fully equipped by Master Leminy with the castoffs of too many dead princes, the Master of Scions merely counting it a blessing that there was one prince he didn't have to find staff for on such short notice.

Needlemaw slithered into the window and past Culli-maid like the nightmare she was not two days later, early in the morning. "Shall I rip 'er throat oot?" she demanded of Adam without preamble, her teeth flashing like daggers, her cadmium-yellow eyes terrible lamps behind the red of her wild curling hair as she stalked into the room, a raging predatory monster, her accent thickened by her indignation. "Take 'er stupid pritty wee eyes? I kin break 'er bitch fingers one by one like crackly-crackle twigs if'n 'twill teach 'er -" Adam crashed into her arms, staggering her and bringing her tirade to a sharp, stunned halt.

"Nothing," he croaked, hating the fact there were tears unshed in his eyes. "Nothing, Needle, you'll do nothing. None of you. Not a thing."

"What?!" she snarled, catching him by the shoulders and shaking him lightly. "Adam -!"

"You, any of you, doing something to stop this, that's what she wants." He caught her hands in his, unafraid and feeling for the first time in days as if he could finally breathe. "She's tried everything else to find out about Linden, about you all, and everything's failed her. If you do anything, anything at all, she wins. Do you understand?"

She stared at him, her teeth grinding like blades against the grindstone, and in the end she caved, sweeping him up in an embrace full of her dry warmth and the charnel-and-soil scent of her. "Och, Adam," she sighed. "What are we gauny do with the muchness o' ye."

"Will you miss me?"

Needle pulled away a little and brushed his eyes dry with the back of her hand. "I'll know ye gone," she admitted. "Like a wound that won't heal, it will be."

"It feels like that already, a little," he admitted. "Where's Linden?"

"They're not as fast as me," The redcap sounded a little sheepish to have so thoroughly left her supposed charge behind, but Linden chose that moment to tumble into the room through the window, taking Culli's hand to haul themselves upright and launching at Adam. The two held each other desperately tight.

"She can't do this," Linden's voice was full of fury and unshed tears. "She can't, she just can't. This is our time, the time we share, this is ours!"

"She knows." Adam swallowed against a new surge of bitterness inside him. "That's exactly why she's done it. Like sending dogs into the brush to flush out pheasants."

"I haven't done anything to her! Not ever, not once!" Linden all but shouted. "Hasn't she got enough of a fight with the Prince Beyond the Woods, now she wants to pick on me and mine?!"

"Linden." Adam grabbed his friend's face in his hands. A day alone in the woods had laid out before him the Dowager's trap, neat and clean and inescapable. He'd already spent his rage at it in the training yard. "She wants you like the Prince does. As a weapon. As a tool against him. Through me, you. Through you, him."

Tears spilled from those luminous, shattered eyes. "Can't I hate them a little?" they pleaded hoarsely.

"No." Adam shook his head. "Hate makes them do things like this."

"But you're leaving!"

"I am. Six months, she said."

"I wouldnae put it past the bitch tae run it long if'n she can," Needle muttered, arms crossed.

"Maybe," Adam admitted, swallowing against a fear he knew was well-founded. "Linden, I bet that beyond the woods there's all those who mutter and grumble and say you spend too much time with me."

"Oh, who cares, they've always been dumb, who cares about them!"

"I know. Linden, I know. But the thing is, they're the ones that makes decisions like this one. To send me away, to steal our time. So go home. Give them this time, so when they open their mouths to be dumb and noisy -"

"I can point to this year, and make them shut up," Linden finished the sentence, but their heart was very much broken. They fell into a tight embrace once again. "Will you come say goodbye to Boul? He can't make it up the wall." Linden fell back and rubbed at their face. "He actually tried, do you know."

"No!"

Linden nodded, smiling a bit, but it was at least something of a smile, and it was true. "He did."

"I'll come to the stables. I can say I'm checking my tack." He hugged Linden one more time. "It's only one year, Linden."

"I know," the fey sapling admitted, but did not add aloud what they, and Needlemaw, and Boulders-for-Brains already knew.

You mortals get so few of those.

***

In that, the Dowager had not lied. The trip expanded his education in ways neither of them could have ever imagined, for all the good it did someone who had no intention of claiming the crown.

As Needlemaw had warned them, the pilgrimage dragged on and on. There was no day when Adam didn't miss Linden, when he didn't wonder what they were up to, his friends. He wrote to William once, but the prince's return letter was formal and distant and didn't mention his red-haired maid at all. Adam admitted his mistake and didn't write the older prince again.

Through the hottest days of summer he fretted, hoping that Boul would be taking care of himself, and saw very little of the manors of those who'd become wealthy through trade and fishing. He did speak to the sailors on the great ships with sails as white as gull wings, and to the fisherfolk in their heavy-bellied barges, and tried his hand a little at their trade, much to their amusement. It was at times like those that, for a little while, he forgot how his heart ached. The pain didn't dull. A few of the princes had left sweethearts behind, and by late summer they'd long stopped writing to them. Once a week Adam wrote to Culli-maid and Dane. She saved those letters and gave them to him, bound in a book, much later in life, and it was the only proof he had that he'd been there, seen and heard and done those things, because he certainly didn't remember them otherwise. Linden trees lined almost each and every driveway leading to each gracious manor and estate. He wanted to hate them, but couldn't. He wanted to know if the linden tree had bloomed at last, and missed it just as he did the others until Dane brought a spray of flowers from it for Culli-maid to send to him with her letters.

He met the men and women who watched the passes on the mountains, that guarded the realm from what neighbors there were that were more interest in raiding than in peaceful trade. There weren't many. The guardsfolk wore weathered, functional armor and carried short blades, and Adam found his fencing did very little good against such veterans. His well-natured laughter at himself and his failings caught them all by surprise, and they taught him a little of their fighting with sword and buckler, with dagger and lance and even with his bare hands. They knew him by name when the princes left, and in leaving behind their surly, rough humor Adam felt as if he were leaving Needlemaw behind all over again.

Every church window, every cloud, every richly scented breeze whispered Linden's name, and Adam's rage turned into a cold and hard thing in the pit of his stomach, in the depths of his heart. At night, with Beli asleep nearby, he would stare out the window of whatever room he'd been given in yet another place full of people he scarce knew, and fought to remind himself that he could be angry at the Queen Dowager, that he could dislike, immensely and with all his being, what she'd done to him, but he could not allow himself to hate her. He would come back to the palace eventually. There would be a king, eventually; she would not rule his life forever.

***

The princes returned to the palace with brief gusts of snowflakes racing over the grounds, the lawns sere and brittle, winter well in and the Longest Night barely a week away. Adam all but threw himself at Dane, a familiar and friendly face at last, startling the young man his once-bodyguard had become. "Look at you!" he cried out in open delight and admiration. "You're the size of an oak, Dane! Why do you stick to serving a scrawny bit of a prince, you could be making so much money as a noble's guardsman."

"Then I'd have to actually work," Dane replied, flustered and unspeakably pleased, and unwilling to admit in a hundred years that the boy who'd taught him to fight and left him free to have a childhood when he'd been given none had become a man who'd earned all of his loyalty. "Who wants that, sire? Besides, I sort of like the scrawny git. He's clever-like."

Adam laughed. In an excess of delight at being back in the only real home he'd known for so long he hugged Arditty, who squeaked in surprise and, much to his shock, hugged him back briefly before squirming for freedom. "Well, don't you get so free with your affections, Adam, I'm a woman betrothed."

"Betrothed!" he exclaimed, in disbelief that Arditty, who could have anyone she wanted and usually did for all of a week, would settle down on just one choice. "Well, he better be nice," he warned. "Is he proper to you?"

Arditty laughed, just as surprised and touched at Adam's question as someone else had once been. "Yes, I promise, you don't have to challenge him. He's my choice, and I stand by it," she told him, brushing back his hair and sighing a little. "Perhaps I should have waited for you, but I was taught it's so unseemly when the wife is older than the husband."

"Ugh, who cares about years if you truly love someone. You let me know if he's ever not nice to you." Adam grabbed part of his luggage before Beli or Dane could and left her laughing merrily as he raced for his rooms. He found Culli-maid there, tidying up and adding the last touches to a very small and simple feast on the study table, and picked her up and spun her before falling into a hug. "Culli!"

"Highness!" She hugged him back, the boy grown nearly to a young man that had never seen her as just her station, that had trusted her with his secrets in exchange for her wisdom. "Oh, you've put on a foot on in every direction, none of your clothes are going to fit," she lamented, her eyes overbright.

"Oh, now I know I'm home," he sighed as he crushed her in his arms.

He had a lovely afternoon and evening of it, surrounded by warmth and friendship (and no blackberry brandy, thank goodness for Culli's foresight). That night, bundled up in a heavy woolen cloak and knit scarf, he went out onto the grounds to look at the distant shadow of the royal woods, wrapped in darkness and frost. He walked nearly fully around the palace, watching the lights in its windows as they went out.

He didn't expect company. It was too late in the season, and he knew even Needlemaw would be gone to the obligations and responsibilities of her people. The dead grass crunched pleasantly underfoot and the silence was immense.

Surrounded by the beauty of that cold winter night, Adam could only think that he'd been robbed of a whole year. He stared into the dark, watching his breath plume up in steady little puffs, closed his eyes, and very calmly set himself to count the days to spring.

#the fairy and the prince #linden and adam #linden the fairy #adam the prince #original writing #boul #boul the troll #boulders-for-brains #needlemaw #needlemaw the redcap #fantasy #fantasy writing

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outropeace · 4 years ago

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elotito tagged me on this so i’m gonna do it for her <33333

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted

i began to write in general since i was around 14 like any other emo kid kdjdjsks and o began to write fics when a friend asked me for one as a birthday present. it was written in a hurry and it’s not my favorite but i really enjoyed doing it. i posted that exact same fic on their birthday

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

it depends the fic i guess. and not really, i think the closest i’ve been to do that is in the rockstar au (coming to the @bottomlouisficfest very soon), i put one or two of my old insecurities in h so he could connect better and wouldn’t be persieved as just an asshole-y dude cause i don’t like that and louis don’t deserve that uwu🌸

3. where do you often find inspiration?

music, movies, tiktoks (DONT JUDGE KDKDKS)

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

before the quarantine i had around 3 wips, now i have 8

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?

i listen lofi youtube playlists shjdkld

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

me repeating “Oh...” over and over again through tall my fics, it shouldn’t be legal

7. describe your ideal writing setup

rainy day, good coffee, comfy sweater, my cat besides me, arely sending texts about teeth/imessage games, snacks

8. favorite time of day to write?

nights (it’s usually when i have time)

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

i’d LOVE to write a thriller

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?

i just leave the fic for a bit, i don’t really like to push myself about this cause i’m just doing it for fun

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?

the easiest is the dialogues, i could write pages and pages of just dialogues in hours and the hardest is the smut dhjdd

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable)

it depends, is the antagonist? i ask myself how’d i feel if i were them, like a third party just trying (and usually failing) to get in between

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?

i like “wet” i just... yeah.... and least favorite i don’t really know tbh

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

i like that people conect with the characters because i always put a lot of effort in making them realistic (as much as i can), i make them flawled and sometimes even messy but with good hearts and intentions, all of them are (even the antagonists). and my grammar OH MY GOD MY GRAMMAR

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

hands down the ice prince fic. and funny thing is, i already had my prompt for the fic fest but i just couldn’t stop thinking about one particular prompt about a bratty prince and an alpha who hated omegas and the amount of POSSIBILITIES that had. two days later or so, the mods of the fest gave us the opportunity to pick another prompt if we wanted and the rest is HISTORY

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

11 and single

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?

baby do we have TIME FOR THIS ONE?

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

yes, always 100000000%

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?

angst, sadness, anguish, sorrow, jealousy, i love to hurt hearts. and it’s not an emotion but after they get together it’s really difficult to me to actually keep going (oh god dkdkdkkdd)

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

that that’s okay to fuck up, that no matter the circumstances you have to respect your partner and TALK WITH THEM and that a person can be successful, independent and a badass while being soft and a c*mslut

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

i think “write whatever you like, you’re not being paid for it anyways” is the best and only advise i’ve actually listened to

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

it’s complicated cause my two favorites are abos and idk how that would work dkskkss but the ice prince and the alpha/alpha fic

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?

chronologically but i have a document apart where i write everything that comes to my mind at the moment, that one is A MESS

24. how do you handle criticism?

i think good, if it’s respectful

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

trust yourself, have fun

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

ANY type of positive feedback makes my day tbh

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?

none tbh dkdkks and louis, obviously

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

about my stories, i love when people just come to rant to me about certain things the characters did and ask me why they did it

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

it relaxes me a lot. i just can write for hours and hours and it just feels nice and in some way exciting

30. why do you write?

refer to question 29 kdkdkxk

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote

from the exes to lovers au:

The second hiccup of the night came in the form of his ex smiling to a boy sitting next to him on a couch. The boy had gorgeous, dark and wild hair, clear hazel eyes and a pretty pouty mouth. Their body language screamed attraction and that they both were ready to devour each other. Louis was familiar to the smile Harry was giving to him, bright and seductive, ready to give anything you asked for.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about

right now i’m very excited for the happiest season au, my “cliche story” au and for my exes to lovers au dksks i’m excited about a lot of my wips i’m so sorryjdjd

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of

from the alpha/alpha au:

“I’m not giving up on love,” He softly touched the hand that was still grabbing his thigh. “To me, love is like flowers. Each one needs a special treatment, if you give an orchid the same treatment you give to an iris, the orchid will die. Same thing with love. I’m not giving up on love, I’m just changing the treatment. We might not be an orchid, but we could make such a pretty iris.”

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s)

favorite first line from the sugar baby au:

Powerful people only end up with powerful people. The rest are just playthings in their lives. Louis Tomlinson was many things, but he wasn’t anybody’s plaything.

favorite last line from the ice prince fic:

“Who would have guessed…” Harry whispered after a while, smiling against Louis’ lips. “the dragon finally got to keep the princess.”

5a. link the last fic you read

HAYLEY’S MASTERPIECE

6a. link the last work you published

that’d be the ice prince fic

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable)

hereee

8a. someone that inspires you

louis teheeee

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year

god, again, there’s so so many of them, like the amount of authors i’m so grateful for, the list is infinite but these are a few that comes to my mind

all elote’s (@defencelesst) fics makes me really really happy and never fails to give me a cozy/wintery feeling, her louis IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING ON EARTH AND HER HARRY IS JUST PERFECTION, i’m in love with her descriptions and how she just takes you THERE. hanis @loulicate-recs always makes me smile so fucking hard. ris @falsegoodnight fics NOW.... well.... ris fics they make me smile but also make me want to throw my phone to the other side of the room BEST OF BOTH WORLD IG. MAR’S FICS (loubellies on twitter, idk their @ here i’m sORRY) ARE LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS AT THE MOMENT, such a pretty louis IM SO IN LOVE WITH MAR’S LOUIS ITS UNFAIR

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!

omg i’m probably so late to this and idk how many of you have actually done this so here goes nothing @allwaswell16, @runaway-train-works, @greenfeelings, @kingsofeverything, @thepolourryexpress, @larents

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youralternantpersonality · 4 years ago

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Dreams

Seth x Reader: Wanting you

Warning: Breaking fourth wall. Let me know if you catch it 😉 and gender-neutral parental names

Part 1: “Dreams” by Ella Eyre

Part 2: “You’ve Got It Bad” by Usher

Part 3: “Never Give Up on Love” by Bobby Tinsley

***

Y/n POV

“Will that be all for you?” I say, finishing up writing down the order.

“Well, I could get your number, beautiful.” One thing that is horrible about being a waitress is dealing with the harassment that comes with it. The best way to deal with verbal harassment (like in this situation) is by giving them the “AS,” as my friends would call it. The Awkward Stare. Now, this stare isn’t having ME become awkward; oh no, this is to make sure THEY do. Essentially, you would look at the predator straight in the eyes and give a resting bitch face until they become uncomfortable and silent. To the point where the whole table is uncomfortable. Kind of like your high school teacher would look at the student when no one would shut up. Once they were fully engaged in avoiding my eyes, I gave a final smile and went put in their order at the counter.

“You know, you could be a little less cute and more intimidating?” said Orion, my now lifetime best friend since I had started this job a couple of months ago. I turn to look at him and give him the finger as he walked around me to bring his tables their food.

“He does have a point. Straighten up your back more, pull your shoulders back, and clock your head to the side just a little. That way, you’ll really knock them.” Emily said. She was a regular here. Every Wednesday at 4 pm and Sunday at 12:30 pm, she would come in, go to her usual spot at the counter, and either order the chiefs salad with a side of a sliced pickle, the garden burger with seasoned fries, or 5 stack pancake with orange/apple juice. Her husband Sam or another kid named Jared and his girlfriend Kim come on Sunday morning, grabbing a crap ton of food (so Emily doesn’t have to cook) and leave. Polite men, scary—at least Sam can be, but polite. Jared is just a child, and I can do nothing but pray for Kim.

“You mean like that ugly pink toad lady from-”

“Don’t say it!” I roll my eyes. Ever since KJ Bowling expressed her feelings towards the LGBTQA+ community, she refuses to acknowledge it. The disbelief and sadness that took over for the love of Henry Planter she had were wild, yet kind of crazy to watch.

“Look, it could be worse. You could love the Dawn saga by Tephanie Neyer and find out that she is horrid in disguise. But hey! Once it hit 2 years, you’ll start realizing all the fucked-up shit in the series and slowly be okay. Dawn fans know Tephanie is fucked up, we know the series is fucked up, we acknowledge it all and take full responsibility for liking it, but some still like it. We don’t support it, but we like it.” I tell her, shrugging my shoulders. I have to remember, she’s a rookie in this game.

“That’s true. Why are the best authors the most fucked up?” she says, playing with her fries I just placed down in front of her.

“Because they hate us and know what the population likes. Just like politics.” I say, stealing one of her fries.

“I don’t know how you guys like that series! Wasn’t there racism, classism with the Ghoul’s and Werecats, hyper-sexualization on the prides where the cats came from, misinformed information, plagiarism, and too, I don’t know, squishy and fluffy in them?” Orion asked.

“First off, they were shapeshifters. Secondly, only in Dawn, Dusk, and Night were squishy. But only because Bethany and Elliot were on their honeymoon in the last one. Daytime didn’t have it because Elliot broke up with Bethany.” I nod in agreement while grabbing the food for my tables.

“I thought their name was Ben and Evy?”

“No, that’s the gender swap version,” I say, walking away with the food. I place the food down at one table and refill drinks to another; some of the reservation guys come in. Seth, Embry, Jake, and Quil. I look over to Orion to call him for his table, but it looks like he and Emily are in a heated discussion about the book series. So, I take over for him. As I walked over to the table, I made eye contact with Seth, and my stomach flipped.

Why you in my dreams? Don't know much about you But I heard about you for the longest time And I see you 'round whenever I go out With some friends of mine And I remember when I saw you standing in a different light It's funny where my mind goes when I'm in my bed at night though

As I lay in bed, I notice that my feelings become stronger and stronger for him almost every time I see him. He was a few inches shorter than me, cheerier, and lanky. I always saw Seth and his friends, but out of nowhere, these…flutters? Feelings? Emotions I don’t like started eating me up every time I see him. I know it might be a crush, I won’t even deny that, but…why?

I toss and turn that night and eventually give up on trying to sleep and just stare at the ceiling, thinking of him. Confused and resistant to even wanting to think about it. The last thing I need is to be in a relationship while in my fucked situation as is. I don’t need my guardians knowing anything about Seth either.

But then again, just like evil authors, life fucks us all over, and you can help but go along with it. Well, unless you sue them. Then that’s different.

'Cause I push you away in real life You ain't even close to my type But when I'm sleeping Everything's upside down, upside down, yeah I saw you last night in my, my dreams It felt so beautiful, I almost believed We were a thing and I liked it I never looked at you like this Till I saw you last night in my, my dreams Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my?) Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my mind?) Seth POV

I saw her again today. She was walking down the hallway with Orion and Kayla to gym class, and we made slight eye contact before Jake decided to take my attention away from her. I look at him, but I don’t really pay attention to him. I don’t know when it happened, but I have always loved Y/n. When she transferred here in middle school, she was cute, shy, and had (and still has) a babyface.

I could never talk to her. Every time I was around her, I’d get so scared and freeze up. And although we’re in high school, I still can’t control it. Lately, my feelings have been getting stronger. Not just with her, but in general. I don’t know what it is, but it’s taking a lot more of my energy trying to control myself. Leah and mom have noticed it too. But Embry was the worst. Speaking of which,

“Hey, where’s Embry?” Quil and Jake looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

“But did you hear a word I said?”

“Obviously not. He was too busy gawking at Y/n.” Quil said, laughing. I rolled my eyes and walked away. Ass-whores.

After school, we head to the diner and, like always and on cue, Jake and Quil make fun of me because Y/n works there. I roll my eyes at them and attempt to push them off me without smiling, but I can’t help it; they’re stupid. It’s not their fault.

Fell asleep at nine And once I closed my eyes, girl, you were so, so mine We laid in the dark, you left in morning light But, girl, it felt so right And if it's in our minds then we should make it life Girl, I mean real, real life Nothing's never for ya We were all and over for ya 'Cause I push you away in real life You ain't even close to my type But when I'm sleeping Everything's upside down, upside down, yeah I saw you last night in my, my dreams It felt so beautiful, I almost believed We were a thing and I liked it I never looked at you like this Till I saw you last night in my, my dreams

That night I quickly dreamed of her without even having to try to at this point. Every time I want to or attempt to talk, I freeze. Thinking about her just makes me feel…warm. Her beautiful y/e/c eyes are captivating. They’ll draw you in, and once you’re in, you’re stuck. Her y/h/(L/C/T) hair embraces and defines her facial features.

The dream always starts out the same. I’m running through the forest at a high fast pace towards a place that always ends up being her home. I follow around the house to her room on the left side of the house towards the forest. As I look at her window, I see her sitting at the window seal and we instantly make eye contact. My heart stops for a second—she smiles and I walk up to her window to come inside. She doesn’t open the window. She places her hand on the window and my much larger now hands cover hers. We look at one another and smile.

I’m not bothered by her not opening the window. I’m just happy she isn’t freaked out about my presence. Unfortunately, every time she goes to open the window, my alarm wakes me up. And when I mean alarm, I mean Leah.

I groan and curse her and the need to wake me up so early. As I get ready, I think of Y/n and I can’t help but smile. Today’s going be a good day.

Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my?) Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my mind?) Y/n POV

The weekend comes and I’m heading in for my shift Sunday morning. I usually wouldn’t work weekends, but that was before I met Emily. I have Friday and Saturday off instead. It’s eight in the morning and Kayla, two of the cooks, and I all pile in before we open at nine. By 9:30, a few families start piling in and by 10, we have the food catered to Sam or Jared ready.

“Hey, Kim!” I wave to her as she walks into the diner. She waves back and heads to the counter. After setting up my table, I head over to the food and help her pack it up in the truck.

“I see you guys ordered more food than usual. Did more family members move into the area?” I say, passing her the multiple trays from the cart to the car.

“Yeah…something like that,” she laughs it off, “but rest assure, this will be gone within the next 45 minutes…maybe sooner.” I laugh with her. I believe her 100 percent. After seeing Jared and Sam, I already know their family that Kim describes them to be, is just as big, if not larger, then this food should hold them off for 2 hours. Maybe.

“Well, that’s all of them: drive safe, Hun. And stop by sometime after school. You’ll miss the adventures of Orion and Emily arguing over pink and rose gold.”

“Aren’t they different?” I nod my head. “But they’ll argue over that?” I nod my head again. She shakes her head and smiles. “Em usually starts it?”

“Sometimes. Only when she needs a good laugh or when she just feels like fucking with him. Last week they were in a heated discussion about the Dusk saga.”

“Oh, dear god! She told me about that. I can’t believe she went that deep into it with him.” Kim laughs.

“I know. That’s probably the only time they’re not being repelling off the same topic. Normally one would disagree for the fuck of it, but they put their fuckery aside and agreed to agree on that topic.” We both laugh. I finish up my conversation with Kim and head inside.

If I gotta fall asleep, sleep to see ya Then I'm gonna fall asleep, sleep to see ya It's different in the daylight Miss you, I dunno know why If I gotta fall asleep, sleep to see ya Let me fall, fall deep, deep to see ya It's different in the daylight See you in a new light 'Cause I push you away in real life You ain't even close to my type But when I'm sleeping Everything's upside down, upside down, yeah

I wave bye to Em, and Orion comes in. I clock out for my break and go sit in one of the booths in the back. As I am prepping my garden burger with ketchup, I think back to my dream I had last night. This one was recently new, confusing, but knew. I take a much-needed bite of my food and relax for the next 15 minutes.

I just got done with my daily nighttime routine, unable to sleep due to Taylor and Kennedy arguing, I go to my window and look outside. I look up at the sky and just drift off into a world of daydreaming until something catches my eye in the bestrew of trees next to my house. As I continue to look, I see big brown eyes of an animal. I smile and the animal walks out of the trees slowly and morphs into Seth. I smile brighter as he comes closer and closer to me. By the time he reaches me, I can feel myself become excited and full of glow, happiness, and this sensation of warmth.

He steps up to the window and smiles down at me. I place my hand on the cold glass and he looks down at my hand and does the same. I can feel the heat radiating from his skin, which only makes me smile more. I unlock the window and just as I am about to open it, my alarm wakes me up.

I’ve been stuck on this for so long that Orion had to shake me out of my daydream. I put my food aside for later and went back to work. I’ll just deal with the dream another time.

I saw you last night in my, my dreams It felt so beautiful, I almost believed We were a thing and I liked it I never looked at you like this Till I saw you last night in my, my dreams Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my?) Why you in my dreams? (Why you in my? Why you in my mind?)

MasterList

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needtherapy · 4 years ago

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to be human is a haunting, Part 1

A love story for Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen

In a modern world, in a modern city that still has need for cultivators, Song Lan

(war hero, rogue cultivator, orphan)

goes for a run in the park, kills a dankang, makes a friend, and meets a beautiful man with a dog, all before he has to go to therapy. It's the best day he's had in ten years.