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nbrook29 · 3 years ago

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Kiss or Slap

Sander doesn’t remember when exactly their group made the riverside near the Scheldt their new hangout spot, but he couldn’t be more grateful for it as a cold breeze washes over his overheated body, providing a momentary relief against the scorching heat falling from the sky. It’s probably why the park is fuller than it usually is on Thursday afternoons, packed with people spread on their picnic blankets, searching for a bit of shadow under the big trees and desperately craving a bit of wind.

It’s so hot he doesn’t even feel like sketching, preferring to just lie on the grass without moving a single muscle, and dying in peace. Even the enticing smell of cinnamon rolls that Noor brought with her isn’t enough for him to reach out and take one from the basket, the action requiring too much movement on his part.

“Guys, come on, we have to start or we’ll never get it done! Sander, get your lazy ass up.” He grunts when he feels Leon’s merciless fingers jabbing him in the ribs.

“Can’t we wait until it gets a little less hot?”

“No, cause that’s not happening in the nearest future and we need new content,” Nathan butts in, followed by Noor, which makes Sander officially outvoted. So he heaves a deep sigh, puts his shirt back on and ruffles his hair to make himself more presentable, rolling his eyes at Noor’s appreciative whistling.

“Someone’s gonna snatch himself a bunch of kisses today with that smoldering look,” she teases, pretending to give him a once over.

“Is that your way of telling me you want one for yourself, sweetheart?” He’s immensely proud of himself when her entire face scrunches up in disgust.

“Eww, no, feels like incest at this point.” Which is kinda true given the fact they’ve known each other since kindergarten and became best friends making sand castles. He fires an obnoxious wink at her, fully anticipating a shove which comes as expected within seconds, with Noor calling him a creep in between laughter.

“Who should we start with? Senne? Wanna go first?” Sander watches as Leon takes out his camera equipment and checks the settings as the rest collects their things.

“I guess, yeah. And then Nathan after me?”

“I’m not doing it, man, you know Britt, she’s gonna flip out.”

“Be a good reason to break up with her,” Sander mutters under his breath, not really feeling apologetic when Nathan shoots him a glare. It would be a long time coming, and honestly, Sander can’t wait for that moment to come. Just being in her presence gives him chills, she’s that much of a horrible person. A few years ago, he read something about alternate universes and sometimes when he looks at her he can’t help but think there’s a history there with the two of them, in a past life or something. At least it would explain that weird energy between them.

If it’s true, he feels very sorry for that Sander.

He roots for him to run far away from said devil’s spawn.

“I can go next, I don’t have the ball and chain,” Noor says innocently, but she’s smirking over Nathan’s shoulder at Sander who pretends to high five her in their shared hatred for Britt.

“Yeah, us lonely birds will sacrifice ourselves and take the hit for the wellbeing of our channel,” Sander laments playfully, making Senne snort.

“Dude, you’re on your own by your own choice.”

“And pickiness. Don’t forget pickiness,” Noor adds smugly.

Sander huffs in protest. “I’m not picky! I just...” He cuts off because he’s not about to just explain it all now.

“Just what?”

“Specific about what I want.”

Brown curls, brown eyes, shortish, lean, pierced ear, cute giggle, elegant hands and a smile brighter than the sun.

To be exact.

“Yeah. That’s picky.”

“Whatever,” he replies grumpily, and decides to ignore Noor’s knowing look. Sometimes he feels like she has a sixth sense and can read him like a book. Or she’s just less oblivious than the boys in their friend group. That’s a totally possible option too.

Thankfully, she doesn’t push him further (she’s awesome like that), though Sander has a feeling she’s gonna grill him later when they’re alone. For now, she checks her lipstick in her phone as they all briefly plan the video.

Not like there’s that much to plan; a few days ago, they decided to shoot a kiss or slap challenge for their YouTube channel because it had been wildly requested by their viewers.

Sander still doesn’t quite know how he became a part of a YouTube channel in the first place, always considering himself to be a bit more, well, sophisticated than that? But Leon was into it from the beginning and made them all participate in exchange for free beer, until one day one of their videos blew up.

If you can call getting 100k views on one video blowing up.

Anyway, they got semi-popular amongst Flemish teens and even managed to snatch a sponsorship with Mentos (however small the offer was) that paid actual money. And he had just managed to move out of his family house so any money coming his way he welcomed with no questions asked.

So they’ve kept shooting silly challenges slash anything else that’s a trend at a given time and have been able to cover their art supply needs with what little they earned. And, though Sander refused to admit it in the beginning, it’s actually kinda fun. It’s definitely better than his part time job at Pull&Bear where he has to deal with obnoxious customers on an almost daily basis.

They record a short introduction near the river, quickly going over the rules and explaining that the three of them will be competing in who gets more kisses versus slaps.

“Hey, you know what, this is actually unfair cause you both can kiss anybody,” Senne points out all of a sudden, receiving four pairs of unimpressed glances.

“No one’s stopping you from getting kisses from boys too, dude,” Sander is quick to shut him up, shit-eating grin on his face as he gives him his first (light) slap to the cheek.

They follow Senne around the park with a camera as he turns on his charm and smiles sweetly at the girls he chooses for the challenge, doing surprisingly well on the first few attempts. But when they venture deeper into the park and he tries his luck with college girls, he gets 5 slaps in the row to the rest of the group’s utter delight. In the end, his results are a blow to his pride and even Sander feels sorry for him, giving him a pat on the back while trying to hold his laughter in at Senne’s grumpy face.

Noor does much better, naturally, as her upbeat personality and a wide smile have always made boys and girls turn their heads. She gets a kiss after kiss, blush after blush, and two phone numbers in the process. Senne argues again that it’s unfair because no one’s gonna slap a girl anyway, but Leon just calls him a sore loser while Noor shamelessly flirts in French with another girl right in front of the camera.

Sander’s very proud.

Taking a quick sip of water, he gives Leon a thumbs up and starts his round, coming over to three blond girls chilling near the skateboarding ramps, trying very hard not to come off as creepy and clarifying the kiss part being only a cheek kiss. The girls erupt in giggles, but they all grant him a light kiss. One of them tries to flirt with him after, but he shoots her down before she can get too into it.

“Such a heartbreaker, you,” Noor coos at Sander’s pained face when they all walk away.

“That’s you, and you actually enjoy it,” he quips back, sticking his tongue at her.

“I do not, shut up!”

Fifteen minutes and fourteen kisses later he’s officially in the lead, sealing his victory with a kiss number fifteen he receives from a cute redhead. He’s gloating in Senne’s bemused face about nobody choosing to slap him when he stops in his tracks.

It’s the proof of his hopeless infatuation that he’d recognize that laugh everywhere.

He looks around for its source, but he comes up short. Then, his eyes focus on the skatepark area and his heart starts beating faster.

Because it feels like a sign. Like the universe is giving him a chance to finally do something. Make a move.

“Hey, can we shoot one more try?” He asks the guys, trying to sound casual while glancing furtively in the direction of brown curls.

“You’ve already won, but I guess?”

Nobody questions him about his reasons, they just follow him to the ramp.

And he’s so fucking nervous.

It’s incredible, really, how he generally has no problems talking to people he’s interested in, conversation flowing without him even trying, gaining easy smiles and appreciative looks wherever he goes, some natural confidence to him.

But that boy. That boy is something else.

He makes him question everything he says, makes his palms sweat and makes his deep hidden shyness come onto the surface.

Sander saw him for the first time during Open Day at the Academie in may, strolling casually through the hallway with his friend, completely oblivious to the turmoil he was causing to Sander’s heart.

That was the day Sander saw an angel.

Fate placed him on his path again sooner than he could’ve hoped, the boy participating in a 2 week film course at his school only several days after he saw him for the first time. And he tried so hard to convince himself to talk to him over that time, but he only managed a few smiles while passing him by in the hallway.

That and that one stupid joke he said to him while they were waiting in line at the cafeteria that makes him cringe in despair just thinking about it. Seriously, it’s like his entire cool evaporates when he’s near him.

But, the boy laughed at it. So maybe it wasn’t as horrible as Sander is making it to be. Or he was just being nice.

Robbe.

Robbe, who he’s been crushing on ever since that fateful day in may.

Robbe, who was at the same party he was last weekend.

Robbe, who he talked to at that party and managed to calm his nerves enough to be charming and funny.

Robbe, who giggled, blushed and bit his lip at Sander’s dumb jokes that evening.

Robbe, who slipped through his fingers because Sander blacked out soon after.

He almost never drinks, but that one night he did, celebrating the beginning of summer break, and not realizing his usual abstinence meant he was now officially a lightweight. What an awful timing.

Robbe doesn’t notice him right away, having his back turned to him while talking animatedly to his friends. Taking a deep breath and plastering a smile to his face to hide his nervousness, he approaches them.

“Hey guys, got a second?”

He notices the recognition in Robbe’s face right away, and Sander shoots him a quiet “hi” when his eyes meet his, an unsure smile blooming on his face.

“Hey, what’s up?” One of the boys nods at the camera.

“I’m Sander, and we’re shooting a video for our YouTube channel, the kiss or slap challenge,” he quickly explains, the boys’ faces lighting up.

“Hey, we have a channel too! I’m Moyo, this is Jens, Aaron, and Robbe.” Moyo reaches out to bump his fist with him and damn, Sander has to find that channel if Robbe is a part of it.

Jens levels him with a look. “So, you want us to kiss you or slap you?”

“Pretty much, yeah?” Sander chuckles because he’s aware it’s ridiculous, but he’s a man on a mission here, give him a break.

“I think Robbe should represent all of us, don’t you think so?” Moyo proposes, tongue in his cheek as he checks with the rest of his friends. Sander catches the death glare Robbe sends the boy before looking back at him and crossing his arms, looking a bit out of place. And, fuck, the last thing Sander wants is to make him uncomfortable.

So he asks softly, “you’re in?” and waits for agonizing five seconds as Robbe watches him, eyes narrowed, before his features smooth out and he smiles at him.

“Sure, why not.”

Relieved, Sander lets out a chuckle and tries to keep his cool. “Okay then - kiss or slap?”

Robbe squints against the sun and makes him wait another few seconds before he answers, but Sander’s not worried because there’s a soft smile on his face and obviously his angel wouldn’t-

“Slap.”

Wait, what.

He can hear his friends bursting in laughter at this unexpected turn of events while Sander can only stare in shock because how could he miscalculate the situation this much?

Gulping, confused and heartbroken, he asks, “you’re sure?”, to which Robbe nods with a poorly hidden glee.

“But you have to close your eyes cause I can’t hit you while you're looking at me.”

Heaving a deep sigh and trying to save a face despite the humiliation flooding his body, he nods and closes his eyes, steeling himself for it.

But it never comes.

Suddenly, he feels a hand cupping his cheek and he flinches a little, but then soft lips touch his in a kiss so gentle he blinks his eyes open, not knowing what’s happening.

“That was payback for you promising to call me and not keeping your word,” Robbe whispers against his lips before leaning away, something sad and wistful passing through his face. Sander is left completely dumbfounded, ignoring the hollering from the two groups as his eyes fleet all over Robbe’s face.

It’s difficult for him to collect his thoughts because holy fuck, Robbe has just kissed him and he’s internally freaking out. He finally manages to get his bearings when the remnants of a smile slip off Robbe’s lips.

“I-, Robbe, you have no idea how much I wanted to call you, but I don’t have your number.”

“I gave it to you. At the party?” He doesn’t look like he believes a word Sander is saying.

“Um, I kinda blacked out and don’t remember much after like one-ish?”

“You saved it though, I saw you typing it in,” Robbe argues again, but this time he doesn’t look so sure. “Wait, what’s your number?”

Sander watches him entering digit after digit before hitting call. He fully expects a plain number to appear on his screen, eyes widening when he sees what pops up instead.

zk bambieys 🥺🦌👁️💘🧡💖💞 calling

“Fuck, you did give me your number.” He’s not fast enough to hide his screen from Robbe, but he can't even feel embarrassment once he notices the frown disappeared from his face.

“Bambi eyes?” There's a teasing note in his voice, but his pink cheeks sell him out.

Sander scratches his head. "I was very drunk, you can't hold it against me. Also, your eyes are really beautiful," he clarifies, winking when Robbe laughs at his shameless flirting. "Hey, I tried to find you on instagram, but nothing came up. I was really hoping we're gonna bump into each other again. Sorry for being a dumbass and not realizing I had your number this entire time?”

“It’s okay.” Robbe shoves his hand into the pockets of his jeans, swaying on his heels. Sander decides to put them both out of their misery and take the initiative.

“So if I asked you out, would you say yes?”

It looks like Robbe’s about to nod, but then he bites his lip, an almost cheeky smile directed at him. “I guess you have to call me to find out.” And then he gets on his skateboard and casually skates away to the nearest ramp, pulling a surprised laugh out of Sander.

If he was intrigued before, now he’s totally smitten with this wonder of a boy, because damn.

Their friends finally seem to regain their voices and speak over each other at what just happened, but Sander doesn’t pay them any attention, just takes out his phone again and pressing the call button.

Watching as Robbe comes to a full stop at the top of the ramp, he cocks his head with a grin and waits until he picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Sander.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Robbe laughs into the speaker.

“Will you go out with me?”

He meets his eyes across the skatepark as Robbe makes him wait again.

Then, with a smile so radiant it overshadows the sun, the boy finally gives him his answer.

“Yes.”

#wtfock #my fics #i think i prefer writing sobbe in canon #i kinda struggle with the AU versions of them #😫

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everythingsinred · 3 years ago

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 13)

Oh no... 13 is an unlucky number! Oh, well.

Up to this point we've seen Natsume fall in love with Mikan. This next arc is all about discovering Natsume, however, and we've pretty much already talked about that so maybe my analysis for his perspective will leave some things to be desired, which is fine, because Mikan's will come in due time! That being said, there's plenty of stuff in this arc, especially at the start of it, to analyze for Natsume as well.

Chapter Fifty-Three

Takahashi-san has dressed all the Elementary children in their New Year’s kimonos and they are now ready to celebrate the holiday together. They eat a New Year’s feast in the dorms lounge, a rare day where the children don’t have to eat according to their star rank.

It just so happens that New Year’s Day is also Mikan’s birthday. Everyone pretends like they don’t know, because Hotaru told them to leave it a surprise. Mikan is trying to let everyone know about the special day, but the New Year’s cards come in and everyone gets immediately and understandably distracted.

Of particular interest to everyone is Ruka’s card from his mother, who references Natsume and Aoi in her letter. Now everyone is in Ruka’s business and teasing him, so Natsume steps in to help, taking the card from Mikan, returning it to Ruka, and making a very good point that she shouldn’t go looking at other people’s cards without their permission. Mikan is uncomfortable, so she decides to change the subject by asking Natsume how many cards he got this year.

With that, Natsume goes cold and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

He didn't want to sit around watching them all gush about their dumb cards anyway!

The truth is Natsume has never gotten any letters or cards, no matter what time of year or holiday it is, and he never will. We can think back to when he told Mikan that the academy would never send her letters to her grandpa. He’d said that the school would never, under any circumstances, allow them to contact the outside. Turns out, the only person who can 100% count on that is Natsume. Sure, he and Mikan are similarly targeted in strange and unfair ways, but he will always be just a little more targeted, because he’s strictly not allowed to have fun or be happy. It would make him happy to hear from his father, to know that he’s safe. The school can’t have anything like that, so they have Natsume sit in the same room as all the other kids, watching them excitedly gush about how many cards they get, while he knows very well he will receive zero each year without fail.

Natsume wants some time to himself, understandably upset about his situation. He’s thinking about Aoi and probably beating himself up because he tends to do that when it comes to his sister and his past. He genuinely has no idea where Aoi is, or if she’s safe, and the school likes to keep it that way, so they can hold it over his head. Aoi is always one of the people they threaten, somebody he works tirelessly to protect despite the fact that he hasn’t seen her in years, doesn’t know where she is, and probably won’t ever see her again.

Natsume looks out the window, sitting on his own, and sees Mikan crying to Narumi because of her guilt and because nobody remembered her birthday. We can see pretty immediately that he isn’t actually upset with Mikan, just with his own situation. He watches her, always lovelorn. Then we see him put his hand on a little bag with a holly decoration. Because of the holly, there’s an instant relation to Christmas. We can’t know what’s in the bag yet, but eventually we will discover that it’s an alice stone.

He's just been carrying this around since Christmas at the latest. How embarrassing.

Natsume made this stone at some point. I would assume it was after his birthday party, before Christmas. Because of the bag, my guess is that he had wrapped it to be a Christmas present but had never given it. That’s understandable. He’s not supposed to woo her, after all, and giving a girl an alice stone would be pretty romantic, even if she has no idea what it means. We will see this stone time and time again, because he likes carrying it around in his pocket. Perhaps he likes imagining that he could give it to her, but never actually goes through with it. Just like today, on her birthday, he will not give the stone, but he’s still carrying it because he’d like to.

The alice stone is proof of at least one thing: Natsume is very much in love with Mikan and he knows it.

Chapter Fifty-Four

Mikan is happily celebrating her birthday. Natsume has returned to the lounge, but he hasn’t said anything, so she’s still feeling awkward about what happened.

The class decides to make mochi once Tsubasa and Misaki arrive. Tsubasa tries to greet Natsume but Natsume responds coldly, with a thumbs down. Now properly irritated, Tsubasa has decided to pull a prank.

Natsume does not make mochi. He sits on his own, napping with manga over his face like always. Once the class is finished, Permy quickly offers her mochi to him, but his attention is immediately on Mikan, who is giving her mochi for him to eat. She tries to apologize, but can’t get the words out, so she leaves the bowl on the table. Natsume can tell that she’s still feeling guilty, even though he isn’t really mad at her. She was thinking of him, so it’s no surprise that he ends up eating the soup, even if it is disgusting.

It doesn't matter if it's disgusting. He's gonna eat it anyway. Because she made it. Zoe and I joke that Natsume would eat all her food (out of his unending love, of course) and eventually get used to the bizarre combinations she puts together. He might even start liking them, who can say.

Hotaru has been invited to the Hana Hime den to be a flower princess, a girl hand-picked by the middle school principal and who carries a heavy amount of prestige and status. Misaki mentions some rumors about the MSP, namely that she locks up her favorite girls in a dungeon, and that immediately gets Natsume’s attention. He’s struck, and to a first-time reader, this might seem odd. He’s strangely intrigued by a girly flower party where guys aren’t even allowed. But he’s not interested for himself. Natsume can guess based on this new information that if Aoi is anywhere on the Alice Academy campus, it’s in the Hana Hime den dungeon.

There’s always an extra invitation ball that is given to a random girl each year, so she can also attend the prestigious party, but the chances that it would land in the hands of an Elementary student are very low.

The Class B girls look for one anyway, but their search doesn’t get too far because suddenly the kids are flying across the room, sticking to each other, like Hotaru and Youichi to Ruka, Anna to Nonoko, Koko to Kitsu, and even Natsume to Mikan.

Turns out Tsubasa’s payback scheme for Natsume giving him the cold shoulder was to put sticky mochi flour into their mochi as a prank, which will keep all the children stuck to the people who ate the same mochi for a full hour.

He was counting on her never finding out he ate it, but alas.

Mikan then realizes that since she’s stuck to Natsume, that he must have eaten her mochi. He can’t argue that he didn’t, but he turns quickly to insults to distract from how sweet of a moment that could potentially be. He says he choked it down, which might very well be true, but it leaves the question of why he’d put himself through the trouble of choking it down if it didn’t mean anything to him. Hmm. Check mate, Natsume.

Then, Mikan finds out that she’s the recipient of the prize jewel, and has thus been invited to the Hana Hime party. There’s something quite fishy about Mikan being the recipient. It’s too much of a coincidence, and it isn’t one. This is all an elaborate trick to trap Natsume in the dungeon forever, and it’s not by the MSP.

Most of the groups have become unstuck, except for Hotaru, Youichi, and Ruka. Tsubasa reads the packet and discovers that some people may be stuck for two or three days as a possible side effect. Mikan and Natsume can become unstuck, but Natsume grabs her hand and keeps her still.

He's not going to miss this opportunity, even if it puts him on the spot and is kind of embarrassing. To be honest, this could possibly unravel all the work he's been doing to downplay how much he likes Mikan. What if she starts thinking he has feelings for her? It's all so risky, but he's willing to do anything for Aoi.

He’s going to do everything he can to go to that party and possibly find his sister. Getting stuck to Mikan and then her being invited to the Hana Hime den is all just too good of a chance to miss. If she can somehow still go while attached to him, it gives him an in to check out the palace and try to find the dungeon.

Chapter Fifty-Five

Natsume is adamant about keeping up the charade that he and Mikan are still stuck. It’s important to him and he’s desperate. He would do anything to save his sister, so if it means threatening Mikan a little, he’s willing to do it. It doesn’t matter that Mikan has no idea what’s going on, what matters is even the chance of going.

Narumi returns to say there’s not a good probability that Hotaru and Mikan would still be allowed to attend the party, because boys aren’t allowed and they are firmly attached to three of them. Mikan has more and more reason to not want to be stuck when she realizes that going to the bathroom and sleeping will be tricky business. Natsume is obviously not a huge fan of it either. He’s usually cold and snippy, even when bickering with Mikan, but this time he’s yelling just like she is. He’s uncomfortable too, but it’s something he’s willing to sacrifice for Aoi.

Mikan only gets more and more upset, screaming about how much she hates Natsume. He doesn’t seem to take it very seriously until Koko, who is reading her mind, asks Mikan if she likes Ruka better than Natsume, and she responds that she does.

Natsume is hurt, but sadly it’s not anything he can’t eventually come to terms with, like every other disappointment in his ceaselessly disappointing life. For now, he’s bitter, but this is great news for Ruka, isn’t it?

It’s time for sleep, and they’re standing in Natsume’s fancy special star room. At her discomfort, he offers that they can sleep in her tiny room if she’d prefer it, but the venue isn’t exactly her problem. He proceeds to be unpleasant, saying that he’s not interested in sleeping with her either, since she probably kicks a lot and talks in her sleep. But then he’s serious, still bitter when he tells her “Sorry for not being Ruka,” and promises that the whole charade would be over tomorrow.

It's on rare occasions like this that Natsume can express even the tiniest fraction of what he's really feeling, in this case jealousy and hurt.

He really never would have done this to himself if Aoi’s safety wasn’t potentially at stake. Having Mikan be so angry at him, hearing her say she much prefers Ruka to him, having to share his bed with her--it’s all stuff he doesn’t want to do! Further, he’ll probably be in serious trouble tomorrow if he does manage to find and rescue Aoi. There’s nothing fun going on in Natsume’s brain, just worry and the skeleton of a desperately laid-out plan to save his sister.

Sleeping with Mikan is something he doesn’t want to do, no doubt, but not because she probably talks and kicks in her sleep. That wouldn’t actually bother him so much. Natsume usually waits until he’s alone in his room at night to let himself be sick. According to the chapter where Tsubasa found out about his condition, Natsume sometimes wakes up in a coughing fit until he coughs up blood. He suffers and struggles and is in pain when he sleeps, and Mikan will be there this time, up close to possibly see it.

How soft his eyes get, just looking at her. It's interesting whenever he drops his facade, like now in a state of half-awakeness, and we can see just how affectionate he'd be if he wasn't always sacrificing his happiness.

But Natsume falls asleep first anyway, and pretty quickly starts having a nightmare. He’s breathing heavily and struggling, having a PTSD flashback nightmare about Aoi. But Mikan wakes him up, sitting up, concerned for him. Natsume is barely awake, but his eyes turn soft. She saves him from his nightmares in more ways than one, like walking-talking serotonin. He reaches for her, in a state of half-consciousness, because his nights are usually awful but the time he spends with Mikan usually isn’t. Maybe combining them is the way to sleep peacefully for a change. So he snuggles her. She starts freaking out, embarrassed, but Natsume tries to reason with her, and maybe with himself too, half-asleep as he is. No, no, it’s just for tonight, just for now. It’ll be like it never happened tomorrow, it’s fine. She can go right back to Ruka tomorrow, since she prefers him anyway, and it won’t be a big deal. He just wants this for now, just for a little bit. Just while he can.

It’s sad that Natsume always thinks of these moments with Mikan as aberrations. They’re little moments that he borrows or steals just to have them for now, thinking they’re meaningless to her, but carrying them like they’re precious to him. He doesn’t think they belong to him, or that he has the right to want anything from her. He holds her during the SA class’s RPG as a joke. He tells her he likes her hair down after fighting with her. He dances with her, knowing that she’s danced with lots of other people and it won’t matter as much to add him to the list. He kisses her after he assumes Ruka already has, just so he can have keep it in his memories. And he cuddles with her now, even though she’s freaking out, because he needs some comfort, even though it isn’t his place to be hugging her. He always has to reason himself into these situations, like he’s convincing himself that he’s allowed to do this one selfish thing, just as long as she doesn’t understand how much it means to him, just as long as it won’t mean anything to her, just as long as he can get away with it.

And because he’s borrowing, the next morning he acts as though her holding him is some kind of bother. He acts all irritated and pretends like nothing happened, because he was borrowing the moment to begin with. It wasn’t his right to take it, and she can’t know it meant something. It also could be that he genuinely can’t remember the last night that clearly. People do all sorts of crazy things in between sleep that they can’t remember. Maybe his lack of sense and restraint helped him get the courage to hug her in the first place, and now that he’s fully awake he can hardly remember. If this is the case, then he's probably scolding his sleepy self for being so ridiculous.

It's up to you to decide if he really can't remember or if he's pretending. Both are possible and neither would really surprise me tbh.

It’s possible, but knowing Natsume, it’s also possible he’s pretending like he doesn’t remember. Either way, he has to do damage control, because she absolutely cannot get the wrong right idea and think that he has affection for her.

The morning brings good news as well, because Natsume, Ruka, and Youichi are allowed to accompany Mikan and Hotaru, as long as they’re dressed as girls.

It’s all working out a bit too conveniently. This is Persona’s scheme to trap Natsume, so of course it would all work out in order that he could make his way to the dungeon. Natsume might be relieved that his plan is working, but it won’t go so smoothly once they’re actually in the Hana Hime den.

Conclusion

The most interesting scenes to analyze from Natsume's perspective are the ones where he chooses to be selfish just once in a while. They're such silly things to call selfish, but they are to him. Being sweet or affectionate to the girl you love should be second-nature, not something to deny yourself, but it's what he's trying to accustom himself to. We also see just how desperate he can be in trying to protect people important to him, like Aoi. The lengths he goes to in order to find her are impressive and show just how determined he is. Going forward, we'll only see more of this kind of determination.

My sister (Zoe) and I made three playlists for NatsuMikan, just like I'm making three essays. One playlist for Natsume's POV, one for Mikan's, and one general playlist for their relationship. I've been listening to the Natsume one while writing these and it's been a lot of fun! This is my long-winded way of plugging Love Song Requiem. Good bye.

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#gakuen alice #alice academy #hyuuga natsume #natsume hyuuga #natsumikan #sakura mikan #mikan sakura #my meta #ga #mine #ga meta #ga meta: nm #ga meta: manga #ga meta: manga nm #let's talk about natsumikan #let's talk about natsumikan: natsume #go listen to trading yesterday and maybe youll understand the pain and selflessness involved in unrequited love with a girl made of sun #also im nervous abt this arc. it really might be underwhelming in this essay.#currently i just finished analyzing the sports festival arc and i had some trouble extrapolating in a fresh way #this arc is really hard bc natsume is absent for so much of it and then after a while he's not quite as active in it #whatever! hopefully itll be fun to read anyway #i always try my best #ANOTHER SONG particularly for this essay!!!#is the run and go by twenty one pilots #hehehehe its cute

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fantasyinvader · 3 years ago

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Beat Binding Blade tonight

So, right off the bat I'm going to admit. I abused the arena and save states. This is a really, really hard game. And while I enjoyed it, I'm going to give three things I didn't like about it.

1)Enemy reinforcements arrive at the end of the player phase, and can attack during the enemy phase. That is unfair, especially when I assume that parking a unit on the spawn point will prevent them (It doesn't) or my healer just happens to be in the area. I like difficult games, but when I fail at something in those I want to feel like it's my fault for doing so. When I die in Bloodborne or lose a unit in Fates Conquest, I'm willing to accept it because I felt it was fair (plus I'll just restart the chapter in Conquest anyway). I could have not died if I had played a little better. This game was not fair when it did that.

2)The supports. A lot of the stuff about the characters is locked away in their supports, since this is one of the old Fire Emblems where it throws units your way because it's assuming you didn't reset the game when one died. They don't get cutscenes to be important, and with only five supports per character (barring if one dies, then any unit that had supports with gets those supports back). And even then, getting an A rank doesn't pair up any units except for Roy. So you don't get to play love doctor here, it's only really there for the stat boosts. But in the case of my boy, he needs those supports in order for his character to fully come through.

3)I can take 8 units into the final battle, and they're the only ones who get full ending cards. Everyone else just gets a single line. Kinda weak if I use someone like Fir for most of the game, but bench her at the end to give Rutget Durandal.

Even with my cheating, I still enjoyed this game. Mostly for the story. When Fire Emblem first appeared in Smash Brothers Melee, as a kid it instantly caught my attention. Roy and Marth just looked so cool with their swords and armor (true fact: My favorite design for Link is the Skyward Sword design, simply because it has chainmail under the tunic. I get it, the tunic is iconic but SS's Link just looks practical), and I preferred Roy because I though his fully-charged shield breaker hurting him was cool. I even keep a Cipher card of his in my wallet for good luck. I wanted to know what Fire Emblem was, what kind of game it was. My friend showed me a screenshot of the upcoming GBA game in Nintendo power, which I got for the following Christmas (sadly, I didn't get Sacred Stones as I got a PS2 the following year). I loved that game, but the idea that I was playing as Roy's father always was a bit of a sour point for me. It's because of that game when I got a 2DS a decade later, because I wanted to game but kept getting pulled away from my console, I eventually went back to Fire Emblem.

And, I'm going to admit, Binding Blade hurt me because I played Blazing Blade first. It really did. I mean, Hector dies early on, Lyn is presumably dead hell a lot of my old comrades probably died in this war, Eliwood's wife dies shortly after they are married while Eliwood is more useless than ever, the kid I saved in Bern becomes a genocidal maniac, and the fact that the characters of Blazing Blade kinda caused this to happen by releasing the seals on the Legendary Weapons in their own quest... It kinda bugs me that the Legendary Weapons I used in Blazing Blade are in their trap filled storage places. Like, who returned them there? And if I have characters from that game returning in Binding, I find it strange they don't comment on needing them again. But this is a case of the game trying to be a prequel to a story that wasn't written with it in mind.

But at the end of the day, one thing just kept popping up in my mind. Binding Blade is the antithesis of the Crimson Flower route from Three Houses. I know they said Genealogy of the Holy War was an inspiration, but I can't help it. I've seen so many people try to praise that said route as some sort of denouncement of the rest of the franchise. That it's about putting power in the hands of the people (it's not) instead of having some Lord be the good king. Granted, the Mandate of Heaven seems like it's a running theme of the series, so without understanding what that is I can understand why people don't grasp what that part of the message. But Binding Blade, it just hit so many things on the nose that I needed to say something.

So without further adieu, I'm just going to bring up a few points.

With Regards to Humanity

It's interesting how both Zephiel and Edelgard come at this from different angles. Sure, they both lead wars of conquest across the entire continent, and I'm guessing Zeph didn't tell his troops what he was planning on doing once he won so there's likely a level of deception going on there as well. He really doesn't care for his fellow man, and the game goes out of it's way to show us why. Hatred, greed, or even selling out your people in the name of self-preservation. The game doesn't shy away from showing us any of this, saying that it's wrong and thus why Roy has to kick some guy's arse. Zephiel knows this, but in Edelgard's case? She's out there fighting for absolute power, destroying anyone who won't bend the knee to her while those who do out of self-preservation like House Gloucester are rewarded for it.

In essence, Edelgard is everything Zephiel saw wrong with the human race, she is why he felt we needed to go extinct. The very things he condemns humanity for are the things she reward. Zephiel would have actually handed over power to those he felt deserved it if he had won, whereas Edelgard is demonstrably shown to hold onto power until near the end of her life. One wants humanity dead, the other wants all the dragons. They even oppose each other in their classes. Edelgard is based on the red emperor archetype, she wears red, her class is the heavily-armored Emperor and her weapon of choice is an axe. Zephiel is a king, armoed but wearing purple and he uses a sword in battle.

Even if they both have screwed up history with their family's due to their father's inability to keep it in his pants, they're both presented as villains despite being ideologically opposed which goes to show with Fire Emblem the method IS the message.

Ancient Wars, Super Powered Weapons and Lies.

War of Heroes vs. The Scouring. The former is an event where the full details are shrouded in mystery, up to the player to piece together the clues and figure out the truth for themselves...or in Crimson Flower's case, ignore the truth and act out in your ignorance.With Binding Blade though, when the truth starts coming out, it hits hard. I mean, right from the beginning of the game we're told man was the one who broke the peace by attacking the dragons, but then we learn that those legendary weapons messed up the environment, resulting in dragons needing to use human forms only to be slaughtered by man. Dragons were blamed for the environment, the people who used those weapons were revered as heroes. We don't know why mankind launched their attack, but we do know that they weren't able to slay the Demon Dragon, one who had her soul destroyed in order to control her, because the Heroes felt sorry for her. It's making dragons out to be the victims here, much like the dragons in Three Houses. But Crimson Flower only serves to demonize them, acting like they can't understand humanity when the dragons in that game are a lot closer to humans emotionally than the ancient dragons in Elibe.

The Elites in comparison weren't heroes, and that lie has been confirmed as Rhea trying to make peace.

The good ending for Binding Blade is being able to save the dragon whose soul was destroyed, whereas Crimson Flower ends with slaying a dragon after you've spent the entire game triggering her (and is the ending that leads to oppressive rule under Edelgard, in addition to the only ending without sunlight. What? You thought you'd get the good ending when her final boss theme was playing on the last stage?). Also, you need all the Legendary weapons in order to unlock the final stages, which all play into the big mystery. Crimson Flower requires the player to not understand that the world-building was done to support fighting against Edelgard instead.

Merits of a leader

Let's not beat around the bush here, Roy will not carry you through Binding Blade. His bases are low, and while he has good growths he is unable to promote until the very end of the game. Even then, you need to save the Binding Blade's usage to ensure you get the good ending. Roy is also very unsure of himself, thrust into a position of leadership despite his young age. But look at what happens when he succeeds, he manages to overcome the odds and take down the mightiest army on the continent. At the end of the game, he's shown himself as more than capable of leading. Not to mention, he also believes that humans and dragons can live together, even seeing this in Acadia (and if Ninian was his mother, he's unknowingly proof of this as he is 1/4 dragon himself. May explain his poor bases). If he marries Liliana, he even becomes a King for likely much of the same reason Byleth does in SS/VW (most leaders are dead following the war, plus combining his territory with Ostia which had already taken over Lyn's land after she abdicated/married Hector). Roy learns the truth as already established.

Compare this to Crimson Flower Byleth. Byleth leads the Black Eagle Strike Force, but credit for it goes to Edelgard. Byleth never gets any recognition for this, no position of authority despite proving themselves, instead that goes to Caspar Jenkins of all people, and ends the war continuing to fight TWSITD from the shadows to support Edelgard's regime. And if you read between the lines, Edelgard is NOT a good leader, resorting to bribes, threats, cronyism, secret police, propaganda, and even TWSITD's support and later stolen tech in order to maintain her rule. Byleth lost whatever emotional development they got from White Clouds during this route, once again becoming the Ashen Demon, and is even willing to let themselves die if they can't keep their “humanity” in check showing a distaste for their own draconic heritage (showing humans and dragons can't live together in this timeline). They didn't grow into being a leader, they devolved into being Edelgard's unthinking muscle. Byleth never learns the truth in this route, falling for Edelgard's manipulations resulting in them losing Enlightened One/Nirvana status.

Not to mention, Heroes Relics have really low weapon levels. In theory, they can be used by anyone but only safely by those with Crests and most fully with a matching Crest. Legendary Weapons, on the other hand, can be used by anyone with an S rank in their type. Your characters have to EARN the right to use those things and you'll need them to deal with all the Manaketes during the final level, whereas Relics aren't exactly that level of broken.

Honestly, seeing the ending of Binding Blade and Idunn recovering put at least one tear in my eye. Crimson Flower's just made me feel like the game was calling me an idiot (which considering the Nirvana/Enlightenment thing, it kinda was). I would love if Binding Blade got the Echoes treatment, or even if they just did a GBA collection for the Switch. But after all these years, one thing is as certain now as it was when I was a kid.

In this house, ROY'S OUR BOY!

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iamanartichoke · 3 years ago

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I completely agree with your post about Tom. People’s entitlement over their favourite celebrities goes to far. And tbh I really hate when fans act like they know for sure how he feels and what he’s thinking based on very ambiguous “evidence”. This is usually done so people can align Tom’s views with their own which requires most of the time someone else to be villanised. What I mean is that fans have no actual proof that the writers, producers and director of Loki are bad people and that Tom is unhappy with the directions the show took. There is usually nothing to be inferred about who these people are beyond their merits as professionals. But fans present their assumptions as facts anyway and that has evolved into actual harassment of the production team. All the while piggybacking on this idea that Tom thinks exactly what like them. And I am saying this as someone who hated TR and thinks Loki was deliberately made weaker/less important so Thor could shine more. And someone who hates pretty much all of Mike Waldron’s previous work on Rick and Morty. But is still feels very presumptuous to act like these people deliberate compromised the their own work because they hate Loki and his fans. And that they are filled with every prejudice know to man. And it’s also very demeaning to victimise Tom in the process. Of course some of the people involved suck but most of the time these assumptions have no basis whatsoever. And there is also an over-identification going on between some fans and Tom which isn’t healthy for anybody.

Sorry it took me several days to get to this, anon. It took me a minute to get my thoughts in order. But in a nutshell, yeah, I agree with a lot of the things you pointed out here - especially with fans acting like they know for a fact what he's thinking or feeling.

Under the cut for length and a bit of wank and disagreement w/ the "Marvel hates Loki" discourse so please skip if you don't want to see it.

A lot of the Loki series wank is rooted in whether or not Tom actually likes the series and significantly contributed to it, or if he's just saying what he has to say for publicity and his ideas and contributions were largely ignored. None of us will ever know for sure, bc none of us are Tom and none of us were directly involved in the series, so it's moot speculation, really. But it seems to basically come down to people trying to reconcile their feelings about the show with their feelings about Tom.

I don't necessarily think there's anything wrong with believing that Tom's hands were tied to an extent and/or he just says things that he has to for promotion, but I also don't think that it should be treated as fact and then used as, like, ammunition against other people working on the show. I personally have not seen anyone I know or am friendly with taking their complaints to the level of harassment of actual people irl (that seems to be more of a twitter thing, as far as I can tell, and imo comes from an entirely different place than just hating the show [I think there's an inherent meanness in people whose instincts are to harass and bully bc they want to actively make others feel like shit]) but I do see it posted as fact, time and time again, that the showrunners had a personal vendetta against Loki and were intent on making the series as bad as possible, and that Tom was helpless to do anything about it.

Which I get, in a way, bc I personally believe that the Russos had, if not a vendetta, an active dislike of Loki and a vested interest in getting him "out of the way" in a manner that would make him look pathetic in IW - but, I certainly can't say that's the case for sure, and I also think it's a little different bc Tom's contractual obligations for his film appearances were likely very different than what he (and/or his people) negotiated for the show.

That's neither here nor there but my point is, I can understand where the theories come from but I just don't think that's the case here, and seeing it so often makes me feel kinda uncomfortable (for a lot of reasons but also) bc, imo, it undermines Tom's autonomy for fans to act as if he's little more than a puppet on a string, just saying whatever he has to say to please the powers that be. Like, yes, there are legally binding contracts that probably limit how candid he can be, and we all know that he sugarcoats things and never says anything bad about anyone, which can make him seem like a bit of an "unreliable narrator" when he gushes about the show -

- but, he's also a big name celeb (I mean, the studio has always banked on his name being attached to the project bc he's the one who would draw in the most viewers). He's got clout (is that the right word?) to back him up - they wanted him, specifically, to play Loki in this series. Without Tom, there's no show. So why would they want to alienate him, silence him, or dismiss him when he comes to the table and says "here are my ideas"?

My point is, it's unfair and, yes, demeaning to act as if Tom is this voiceless, powerless victim who has no choice but to act in a series he hated that was purposefully trying to destroy his character, and then to turn around and mindlessly sing its praises while promoting it.

I think that the truth is somewhere in the middle - Tom's creative control was likely limited bc he wasn't the director and wasn't the showrunner or head writer, and no one person is ever completely in control when it comes to the end result that we, the audience, end up seeing on the screen anyway. He may not have been entirely happy with every writing or directing choice that was made. But it's also very unlikely that he had no say at all or that any input he had was dismissed (or 95% of it, as it were); again, the series is banking on his name being the draw and he has the advantage of being an authority on Loki while also being intelligent and eloquent enough to convey his perspective on the character. I think that the real issue is that Tom's current perspective and/or interpretation of Loki no longer aligns with his interpretation of OG Loki from 2011-13. Which is, admittedly, a very hard pill to swallow.

Anyway, this may have veered off in another direction and idek if you wanted this answered or to have a conversation or maybe you were just venting - but, here we are.

To make it less about Loki specifically and more about Tom in general, though, yeah, ultimately I just wish his fans wouldn't feel so entitled toward him and his opinions, or his career choices, or his love life, or his clothes. I was browsing one of the Tom ask blogs (or maybe it was a Zawe one, I don't remember now) the other day and I find it really creepy, for lack of a better word, at how invested people are in Tom's, like, day-to-day whereabouts. Someone saw him at a restaurant in NYC - I wonder if he's still there today? Where's he staying? Is he there as a tourist or for work reasons? Who could he be meeting with in New York? A producer? Another play? Will he host SNL? Is Zawe still with him or did she go back to London? etc etc like, it really goes back to my original point in my original post which is, basically, who caaaaaaaares, why are you investing so much of your day trying to figure out what Tom is doing with his?

Now I'm just venting, but yeah ... shit's weird.

#asks #a nonny mouse #charlotte replies #tom hiddleston is my favorite unicorn #disclaimer - i know a lot of my mutuals feel this way about tom and my disagreement with those takes is not meant as a personal attack #but again if my opinions hurt your feelings or make you feel like you can't trust me #please just unfollow so i don't have to keep feeling the need to apologize all over the place #for shit i post on my own blog #long post

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shadowsfascination · 4 years ago

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Shadamy Swordland | Ch 1 | The Hayloft

In reference to this post Sorry if it’s a little long!I might add a second chapter to this. I got carried away and alrady wrote the draft, aaah! ^^

The Chaos energy that we know from the canon is seen here as a source of magical powers. One can master spells and learn the sacred arts to perform them. Special thanks to @shadamyheadcanons for writing all these beautiful headcanons. You may not know, but your writings are a huge inspiration to me and brighten up my day (: I’m not even sure whether I write well, but here goes, lol! ___________________________________________

There’s a hidden entrance to the hayloft above the stables-building where Shadow used withdraw himself after a day of training his students or intense swordfights. It’s accessed by a ladder, stuffed away in a dark corner of the stables-building. One must know about it’s existence to use it or one will not even find it. To keep it like this, Shadow told no one about it, so he’d be left alone, even if he has a pleasant home to go to. His house was located near the central square on the academy and therefore way too noisy for him. Shadow liked the quiet so he could think. He was sensitive to incentives, which could be a blessing and a curse all at once. In addition to the crowdy location of his home, there’d also be the many, many encounters he’d have with young female students who always ‘happened’ to run into him on his way home that he’d rather go without. Notorious for being an excellent swordsman and a noble too, there’d always be female students trying to catch his eye. When both not intending to engage in nor interested in any romantic affair, he’d also feel extremely awkward not knowing how to let them down easily. He had a reputation of being blunt and did not want to add to it. Especially after he’d been called to the board to explain why there had been gossips around the academy about a romantic involvement with one of his students, Amy Rose.

He made clear to the board there was no such thing going on between them and offendedly told them that their presupposition was to be unheard of. He was her superior, she was his trainee. It was unthinkable that he’d become romantically involved with her. Even more so because he was a noble and she was not. No, Shadow had no interest in romance whatsoever. His work as a trainer and duty as a knight was too important to him and he did not let anything distract him from that. And so he returned to his hayloft, alone. Or so it seemed…

A cloaked Amy Rose snuck out of the trainees’ dorm in the middle of the night, remaining in the shadows of the academy buildings. When unable to avoid stepping into the range of the torchlights on the streets, she used her special skill to briefly turn invisible and disappeared into the shadows again. No one would catch a glimpse of her. She’d been doing it for about two months now and became more skilled in the art of hiding, blending into the background and admitted to herself that she even enjoyed sneaking around. Checking for the last time to see if the coast was clear, she placed her boots on the spurts of the ladder and carefully climbed up. Once she made it to the stables-building, she was safe. No one would come around at this hour and it was far away from the dorm. And that meant she didn’t have to be quiet anymore. A wave of excitement rushed through her as she stepped further, peaking around one of the wooden support-beams. Her trainer and now secret lover was napping in the hay, a twig of wheat between his lips, armor and sword removed. Even without any of it he was still extremely handsome.

“You’re here.” “Hey you!” Amy felt caught. She kept forgetting how well developed his senses were. A heat gushed to her cheeks. “Did no one see you?” “No. Surprisingly, there wasn’t anyone out there tonight.” Amy stepped in on him, out of the small, faint light that managed to beam into the loft. “Lucky you.” “I am. I get to spend time with you.” She seductively winked at him. “We see each other almost every day. I would say we already spend a lot of time together.” “Yes, but almost never can I do this…” Amy bent over and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Shadow then grasped her wrists and pulled her into him to passionately return her gesture and playfully pulled her over into the stack of hay he laid in. Twigs of straw flew up around them and the old, wooden floors creaked at her landing, slightly startling the horses in the stables beneath them. Cloak and rapier were taken off to be placed near his sword and amor. Besides her room at the dorm and the bathing facility, this was the only place where she’d put her sword away. Even when their district wasn’t engaged in a war currently, there were lots of obscure figures around with bad intentions and she should be able to handle them herself at all times. But not here. She was safe around him and could even pretend to be a damsel in destress if she wanted. She properly sat next to him, being handed a handmade clay cup with fresh water, which was all he could provide her up here. It was unevenly round and was a steal from the dorm-kitchen.

“Sadly you cannot. I was called to the board a few days ago.” “What? Why?” “They asked me to explain the apparently present gossips about us being romantically involved. I believe they bought my story, seeing how the apologized for the improper assumption after my offended reaction.” “There’s gossips about us? That’s bad! I cannot imagine who would have caught onto us. We’ve been really careful.” Amy chewed her lip and drew a sorrowfully face, staring at her reflection in the cup.

“Beats me.” “So, what did you tell them?” “I might have raised my voice and angrily scolded them for daring to accuse me of such foul, improper behaviour, you know?” Shadow said with a neutral expression. Amy heaved a sigh. “Plagues, Shadow! You really said that? Oh, who am I kidding? Of course that’s what you said!” “What are you being so dramatic for? It is in fact one of the very few assets that comes with the title of being a noble.” “You’re hopeless. Others will despise you for this kind of behaviour.” “What business do I have with others? Besides, they’re already not very fond of me. I’m an outsider and always will be. Anyway, we have got to be extra cautious from now on. They let me off with a warning, but this is serious.” “Serious, how?” “If they have the slightest proof that something is in fact going on, I’ll be suspended from training students and you’ll…” A long pause followed while Shadow looked away from her.

“You’ll be refrained from participating in battles, not allowing you to advance in your training or education. Worst case scenario might be that you’ll even be transferred to another academy.” “Aaargh! That’s so unfair!”

Amy intensified the grip on the cup enough to cause a crack in the enamel and angrily muttered about the ways she could scold the board for being this unreasonable. If it weren’t the middle of the night her somewhat impulsive, hot-headed nature might’ve gotten the best of her, storming off to the board to give them a piece of her mind. That was if they’d even let them see her. It wasn’t her place, coming from a lower-rank family. She furiously hated the hierarchy in the world and let out a curse. Shadow then grabbed her face and accidentally squeezed her muzzle a little too hard. Interrupting her many wrath-driven ideas to change the board’s vision, she was now forced to look at him. “I’m telling you now: you are NOT to mingle in this! I forbid it.”

“You forbid it?!” Amy broke away from his grip, bewildered and offended by his statement. “Yes, I forbid it. One of the benefits of being both your trainer and your lover. You’ll only make things look more suspicious.” An angry frown appeared on her face. “It’s not okay that they have that much power! I hate it! It shouldn’t matter! It doesn’t matter how big the gap between us is! I don’t understand how you’re not upset about this?!” “Fire and torments, Amy!” Shadow yelled at her. “Just get over it! Both our futures are at stake here! You have great potential to become a fine swordswomen and I’m not just saying that because you’re my trainee.” “So, our career-perspective is all that matters to you?” A sudden cold gushed through his body and Shadow’s face grew pale, leaving his hands to tremble and fists clenched. “How dare you say that to me?!” He whirled around, pushed her down and bent over her. The heart that had eagerly anticipated being with him tonight was now afraid of him for the first time in her life. It cramped inside her chest in fear, but that feeling faded to be replaced with a mixture of compassion and sadness when she caught his gaze. “BLAST, women! You’re the only person I choose to hang out with voluntarily. THE ONLY ONE!” A crack in his voice ended his scream. Startled by his outburst and her own false accusations, mean even in a way, Amy fell quiet. He wasn’t angry. He was afraid! Afraid to lose her. Shadow turned his face away from her, swallowed and bitterly stated: “If that’s what you think of me, you’d better take lea-“ Amy leaned in on Shadow, pulling him into her and silenced his doubts with a passionate, yet tender kiss. The hands that were clenched together as fists just a moment ago, opened up and slid under her back to lift her in his arms, holding her closer to his body. Her heartrate changed into a different pace, still rapid, but now driven by the intimate connection between them. She broke away from their kiss, eyes tearing up. “I don’t! At all!” He nodded at her once, closing the remaining distance between them again before she could entirely finished her sentence. He not only locked lips with her once more, but lifted her muzzle with his index-finger to force her gaze upon his. Amy then clasped her hands onto his back, slightly losing touch with reality with every touch. She ran her fingers through his quills in ways that made him shiver, returning his hasty, impatient ways of loving her. Shadow’s lips found their way to the soft lines that formed her jaw, then her neck and softly, heatedly blew in her ear, sending a hot rush through her veins. Abruptly he sat up. “Shadow, wha-“ He silenced her at once. His ears then twitched. Did he hear something? She held her breath. Suddenly the least of background sounds were highly present and she couldn’t differentiate them anymore. Luckily, as a feature of the ultimate lifeform, he was more than qualified to. When he breathed out at last, she followed his lead. “False alarm. I thought I heard something there for a minute.” Already leaning in to pick up where they left, Shadow was stopped by Amy. “Hey…I’m really sorry about before…” “Just promise me that you’ll stay out of it.” “I’ll bear with it.” “It’s only until you graduate. Now, can we please drop the subject?”

“Sure thing, my lord.”

She stuck out her tongue, knowing he hated to be called that and gave him a playful push, but was suddenly startled by the sound of a crack coming from the ladder. “Someone’s here!” She whispered with eyes wide open. She panicked, grasped in the direction of her belt to find that her sword still laid on the haystack and rushed over to get it. Being followed by Shadow, who also gathered his armor and sword and pulled her close to him. She looked at him in confusion. “Trust me, I have a trick up my sleeve: Chaos Control.” Having arrived at his house by teleportation caused by what Amy guessed was a high level sacred art spell, she heavily breathed out the tension in her body.

“That was amazing! How did you…What kind of spell was that?!”

“Plagues, Amy! Your cloak!”

“No, no, no!” she called out in despair, but regained hope when Shadow pointed out this was an excellent occasion for her to use her special skill.

He warped them back to the stables and hid somewhere, waiting for her to come back with the cloak.

Amy turned invisible and entered the spurts of the ladder as quiet as possible.

She quickly scanned the loft for the stranger. Her vision became more blurry when using her special skill, which was one of the downsides of it.

She was in luck: there was no one around. The other must have left.

There it was!

She swiftly footed her way to the piece of clothing, grabbed it and turned around to leave.

In the blink of an eye Amy regained visibility when a hand cupped her mouth from behind.

Amy let out a muffled cry.

The free hand of the stranger pushed her arms behind her back and fumbled the cloth around them.

“Surprise!”

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dahlia-coccinea · 3 years ago

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You have said that you thought that “some critics overstate the concept of childhood in the story” and that Catherine and Heathcliff are not eternal children. What do you think about the concept of “childhood” in Wuthering Heights? In many ways this is a novel that is so preoccupied with childhood and attachments made in childhood, despite the main characters not being children for most of the book. Is there a distinction to be made between the actual depiction of the childhood of the main characters and the nostalgic conception of their childhood they later have?

I have read a review of the book that said that 5-year-old Hareton’s interaction with Nelly in Chapter 11 is unrealistic and reveals that Emily Bronte didn’t really know children unlike Anne Bronte who worked as a governess. I personally think that she was talented in depicting childhood rivalries, friendships and woes, Chapter 7 of Wuthering Heights is the proof of that.

This is a pretty big topic so I think I’m just going to ramble and explore the topic and see where it leads so I apologize in advance if this is unreadable hah.

For reference, this stems from this conversation, in which I mentioned how Catherine and her daughter both proudly view themselves as mature women and you mentioned how easy it is to forget that Catherine does try to take on difficult, grownup, responsibilities in planning how removing Heathcliff and herself from Hindley's dysfunctional household.

As I said I do think the concept of childhood has a big impact on the story and it is easy to remember moments such as Catherine’s utterance of how she wishes she was a girl again, and her appearance as a child ghost feels not without significant meaning. Many critics have fixated on this and have led them to make a few assumptions. There have been connections made with Freudian child psychology, pathology, and narcissism, or sometimes is developed into theories around Heathcliff and Catherine’s relationship and them having a twin soul in part because of their childhood bond and likeness. Still, I think these narratives give too much weight to the symbolism of childhood in the novel by not mentioning the moments that Catherine and Heathcliff display a grown-up understanding of things, or have wishes and desires that aren’t infantile or nostalgic.

Catherine is typically the character associated with childhood and childishness. Catherine’s anxiety about her choice between Edgar and Heathcliff is partially associated with her distress at life beyond her childhood and while that could be pathological as some critics state, including Marielle Seichepine in her essay Childhood and Innocence in Wuthering Heights. She argued this shows her narcissism and demonstrates Freud’s ideas on the "perversity of the infant.” I’ve written a long post about why I disagree with her here, so to save time I won’t repeat all of that.

Another reason why I think Catherine is sometimes viewed this way is because she dies at 19, which many people today consider to practically be a child. For all of Heathcliff’s longing to return to happier memories during his youth, or returning to their old shared bed, or being spurred to commit revenge against Hindley for disrupting his childhood and trajectory in life, he is still an adult during much of the novel so it seems he is saved from some of this speculation and psychoanalysis. Which may or may not be right. I think a problem with a lot of these theories is that they seem to forget that Emily never knew of Freud, as he was born some 8 years after her death. While an interesting lens to read the book through and I’m glad there are essays on it, I think Catherine’s situation says much more about spiritually, society, and the human experience and is not an overt psychoanalytical case study (I feel like it sounds like I hate Freud, I really don’t lol I just think he’s over/incorrectly used a lot).

Also, like many other proposed narratives, the theories that conclude they both wish to return to their childhood often assume Heathcliff doesn't care about the world or education, that they just want to be dirty children running around the moors forever, etc. All while ignoring that by their teens they both aren't ignorant of how the world works, or injustice of it, and also how they both view the other as the person they would like to marry and to escape from the home that is no longer welcoming to them. J. Hillis Miller, and a few other critics I can’t remember, fall into this trap. Miller’s take was something about their boundaries being blurred by their shared spaces, and childhood, and that all their later struggles are to claim that shared space again. While he believes they are strongly platonic, others make similar suggestions, like their mystical union is reminiscent of a "primordial androgynous being.” I’ve mentioned part of this argument before, but I didn’t mention how it is common that these arguments overstate the importance of childhood and Catherine’s and Heathcliff’s supposed fixation on it. (This is all a lot of ground to cover so sorry if this is hard to follow.)

Now there are few reasons I think childhood is important in the book, and I think can be representative of a number of things. One of the reasons WH is so interesting is because so many metaphors and symbols can be explored in multiple ways. Understood in a very simplistic and broad way it does nicely lend to the imagery of wildness, freedom, and being in a natural rather than materialistic state. It also speaks more plainly of the angst most people feel when surrendering childhood freedoms to adult responsibility and of being introduced into a world that is unfair and tragic. I’ve also thought their moving from childhood to adulthood with their coinciding loss and separation, feels similar to awakening to a vast existential dread that causes the loss of meaning and proceeds to force the characters into chaos.

I think it is also important to the plot that Catherine and Heathcliff's relationship begins early on - it makes more sense that they are unable to view their past, present, or future, without the other since they’re in each other’s earliest memories. It also helps prevent a more cliche "love at first sight" plot and leaves less room to believe it is based on anything superficial.

Something that I find interesting is it seems to be somewhat contested as to how to reconcile the fact their childhood isn’t particularly happy yet they seem to desire to return to it. I don’t remember reading anyone who tries to really tackle this. Catherine and Heathcliff have only a brief time after Hindley leaves and Mr. Earnshaw is still alive that their lives are relatively peaceful. But I don’t think anyone could consider even that part of their childhood as ideal, nor do they specifically mention that time, apart from in Catherine’s diary when she says her father was back because Hindley is a terrible substitute.

I certainly don’t see the story as an ode to childhood as I've seen some critics suggest. Partially because Cathy and Hareton are able to grow up and live the life that Catherine and Heathcliff would have wanted, and also because of how telling it is that Catherine is trapped as a child ghost until she’s reunited with Heathcliff. If the book was an ode to childhood the shepherd boy should have seen two children on the moors and not Heathcliff and "a woman."

You mention how some have accused Emily of not understanding children - I think that’s kind of a funny claim. I think her writing, despite the poeticism, is concerned with humanity and in that way is relatable and the emotions very intelligible - still the characters' actions and language could never be mistaken as striving for hyper-realism. Also, she grew up with siblings and knew family friends, and servants who had children so I don’t think the way little Hareton or whoever, is written has to do with her not understanding children. I don’t think any of the sisters were maternal, so perhaps that changes their writing or what others would expect from them.

#wuthering heights #emily brontë #thoughts #i'm totally forgetting points i wanted to make but i think this has gone on long enough lol

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lizacstuff · 4 years ago

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Hoşgeldiniz SCK/EDSER Anons!

Lots of people wanted to talk about lots of things after episode 32 and the episode 33 fragman. Fragman asks are at the end.

Let’s get started!

(asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: The latest episode of SCK was a great step in the right direction for Eda & Serkan’s relationship but there is still a lot of work to do. They had a ton of scenes together which was a significant improvement not to mention solids conversations. Them working together to save the presentation was perfect. But how on earth are we four episodes into the Serkan & Selin relationship with no end in sight? 🤦🏻‍♀️Yikes! At least Selin is finally realizing that she will never be the woman for Serkan but real progress would be him realizing that. Hopefully he will finally take that step in the next episode!

I hear you! The funny thing is I’m fine with the pace on everything except with Selin. She is driving me CRAZY. It is excruciating to watch her scheme and fool Serkan episode after episode! Yes, he’s suffering from amnesia and probably Stockholm syndrome after she trapped him in that cabin and brainwashed him, yes she’s a childhood friend and he doesn’t remember her going off the deep end, but he’s free now, he’s seeing first hand that Eda is not what Selin told him she was, he’s getting other people’s perspective, he needs to question Selin a whole lot more than he has done.

Let’s hope there’s a development coming soon (more discussion at the end of this post in regards to the Fragman) that will push her out the door (off a cliff?)

Anonymous said: Do you think Serkan learning that Deniz & Eda are fake engaged to make him jealous is going to hurt or help the current situation? I feel like it should show him that she never stopped fighting for him but at the same time the show still has him acting very cruel at times. It could easily cause him to pick a quick wedding date with Selin as well or some other way to publicly humiliate Eda. Honestly I am hoping Eda tells Deniz that the fake engagement show is over early in the next episode and then have Serkan constantly trying to spend time with her to find out more. The fake engagement has run its course & Deniz needs to go!

Sing it!!! I have several asks along these lines, and I agree that the fake engagement has run it’s course and Deniz needs to go. The good thing is that I think Eda is aware of that now.

I get the fear that Serkan will feel manipulated when he finds out Deniz and Eda is fake, and he may, and if he does he might use it as a lever to try and keep some distance between Eda and himself, but I think he will mostly be relieved. No matter what his feelings are for her, think how happy he’ll be that she couldn’t really move on that quickly from him and that she didn’t give up and was fighting for them in her own way.

I think the fake engagement definitely had it’s uses. It’s pushed Serkan in ways he needs to be pushed. It’s made him outwardly curious about his past relationship with Eda. It made him experience jealousy he didn’t understand. I think Serkan sleeping in the office clutching her wedding invitation is proof that it gave him a lot to think about and at least made him question why he was so affected by it.

Here’s where I think Eda has gone wrong, she’s doing all of this to get Serkan to remember and when he doesn’t it crushes her, when she should be paying attention to the fact that he’s falling back in love with her even without the memories. She should be trying to connect with him more in those moments when he’s vulnerable with her.

The coffee shop scene is a perfect example. They’re both drawn there, he doesn’t know why. When she sees him you can see her mind working, that maybe he remembers, and when he doesn’t, she just sinks. She’s near tears that entire conversation. I’m sure it was extremely painful for her, but he’s sitting there opening up to her and instead of encouraging him to talk more or maybe offering him some answers, she gets up and leaves. If she’d stayed, they probably would have talked for hours.

Anonymous said: Do you think that Eda getting fakeengaged to Deniz was the wrong move? Am I being very unfair to her when I think this? Like I know Serkan is engaged to Selin and he's doing this even though he's not in love her, but he did experience amnesia and is genuinely confused at what has gone on in his life. Whenever he does have some breakthrough moments, like when he was questioning her in that cabin , she reiterates that she's with Deniz now and he's with Celine - I feel like that's the wrong move.

I think she’s made some missteps, yes, and you pointed out the biggest.

Here’s the thing, though, Serkan is like a scared little rabbit and Eda is holding out her hand with some lettuce trying to get the wee scared rabbit to come and nibble on it. Any wrong or sudden move and he’s going to scamper away! She’s afraid if he knows she’s available and still in love with him he’s going to freak out and run far, far away from her. The problem is she’s so cautious, that when she finally succeeds and he nibbles the lettuce (opens up and becomes vulnerable with her) she’s the one that retreats!

Poor babies.

That moment in the cabin felt like such a lost opportunity. Serkan was asking about their relationship, he was genuinely interested in learning more. And he sounded hurt when he asked about her giving up on him, which we know is a deep-seated fear of his, people abandoning him-- and there are so many things she could have done there to throw him a bone, but instead she doubled down on Deniz and Selin. Even if she would have ignored Deniz and just said, but you are with Selin, to drive home the fact that it’s him who gave up, but unfortunately she didn’t do that.

Anonymous said: I need Eda to lose it, confess about fake engagement, tell Serkan shes done trying to make him remember their love while he's happy with someone else because it just hurts too much so she needs to leave him and all these fake people behind and just go to Italy. Then Serkan can chase her (following her to Italy would be nice) and 33 can be our 11.

I’m onboard. I would love to see Serkan chasing her down again!

Anonymous said: I don't even care about Deniz from a love triangle standpoint but it is very sad for Eda that this longtime childhood friend that she trusts so much is working with the enemy behind her back. No matter what his ulterior motives are, it will be devastating for her to realize this. And Ceren is now super bitchy to her so Melo is literally her only real friend right now. I wish they could give us some Eda/Ferit scenes or something because they /could/ connect over all things Serkan/Selin/CerenI

I agree, it’s super sad to see how alone Eda is in all of this and to find out that this childhood friend who became a source of strength for her when Serkan was missing is actually capable of conspiring against her is devastating. I really don’t understand him, he doesn’t seem unbalanced or desperate like Selin, you’d think he’d know that he can’t force Eda to love him when she’s in love with someone else. Also I’m now on board with the theory that he was purposely not as helpful in the search for Serkan as he pretended to be. It was all performative, not substantive. Eda put her trust in the wrong person.

Thankfully she has Melo. What a terrible time for Fifi to have left and Ceren to have lost the thread. I agree I’d like to see some Ferit/Eda scenes, we know he would at least sincerely care about her and how she’s doing because he’s just that kind.

Anonymous said: Please can you explain to me why serkan keeps changing his attitude with eda? He jumps from eda to selin every episode and it's very frustrating. At the beginning of the ep he was like "you're not in my past or my future" and by the end of the ep he say "You gave up on me" come on serkan ily but boy make up your mind, one minute you don't want anything to do with her and the next minute you're making eyes at her...

This a pretty easy one to answer. The answer is because he’s suffering from trauma, PTSD, a brain injury, he has amnesia, he’s being manipulated by his oldest friend and is being lied to by the person he remembers as his girlfriend and all of a sudden he’s having powerful feelings for this strange woman that he doesn’t understand. I firmly believe that the reason we hear Serkan say in episodes 18 and 20 that he never loved Selin, is because he never loved Selin, but he didn’t know that until he met Eda. Before Eda, I don’t think he believed in love or thought much about it. If asked he might have said he loved Selin because he didn’t know better. So now he’s once again experiencing something powerful he didn’t know existed, compounded by all these other factors and it’s freaking him the fuck out!

The comment about you’re not in my past or my future was a reaction to whatever powerful feeling or recollection that made him say, “nobody touches you but me.” It scared him. And also, not for nothing, he apologized for being hard on her, something old Serkan NEVER did.

Most of the times he “jumped” to Selin in this episode were 100% in reaction to being confronted with Deniz and Eda’s relationship. In the office he witnesses Eda and Deniz all affectionate so when Selin comes in, in front of Eda he greets her warmly. When they’re outside the bungalows, Eda throw in his face that she’s so glad to be with Deniz now, so he throws a compliment at Selin. Deniz tells him he’s glad he almost died in a plane crash and has amnesia so Eda can actually finally be happy, (enough can’t be said about how awful that would be to hear, so fuck you Deniz) so he throws his energy into Selin at their party.

Every time he “changed” his attitude it was a reaction.

When he had just had a very positive experience with Eda, helping her with the presentation and their ride back to the hotel, he has zero patience for Selin and let her stomp off without even a look. When Selin was trying to get his attention later, he had no interest.

So, yes, while he was hot and cold, there was also a bit of rhyme to that reasons.

Anonymous said: I liked this episode but at times it seemed like the writers wanted to do everything to make me hate Serkan. With serkan kissing selin on the cheek, hugging selin, making heart eyes at her and throwing a surprise birthday party for her. And I'm not even talking about all those bad words he says to eda. I think it's too much. I know what they're trying to do with serkan but I think that trying to do too much will end up making the character of serkan unbearable for the audience.

Okay, but why aren’t you paying attention to any of the good things? How can you hate Serkan when he sleeps on his office couch clutching her wedding invitation, and scrubs his face not understanding why she’s gotten so far under his skin? Or when he’s so confused sitting in a coffee shop and he doesn’t know why, but feels at peace? Or when he drops everything to rush back to the office to help Eda. When he brings her coffee and calls her boss? When he looks so proud of her as she does the presentation. When he looks like a big sweet Golden Retriever after she hugs him? When he playfully tackles her while having a snowball fight. When he leaves Selin right as she’s making her birthday wish to go find Eda. He didn’t even ask if she wanted to help (which a sane, kind person would want to join everyone else in searching) he just bolted because Eda was in trouble. Then he carried her to safety and lit a fire and tended to her injuries. Does all of that make you hate him?

Is that “hateable” behavior.

I mean if it’s in your personality to only see the negative, okay, but life is much better when you don’t discount everything positive just to sate your desire to live in a dark place and only see the worst in people.

Anonymous said: eda & serkan are just so.. ahsjdkfd. such frustrating characters (whom i love but wanna knock them both in the head). everything they did with deniz & selin or when it came to their arguments was in reaction to what the other did. that's why i don't think this fake engagement thing is gonna work, bc if he's constantly being told by eda & deniz how happy they are, i dont think he's gonna be up front with this feelings. outside of eda leaving (like ep 11) i dont think a proper confession will come

Yes, I will give you that. THEY ARE FRUSTRATING!!!!! I agree that usefulness of the engagements have worn off both from a character perspective and a narrative perspective.

As I said above, I think the Deniz thing has served a bit of a purpose, but it’s now officially doing more harm that good and that shit-stain needs to leave ASAP.

Anonymous said: I was going to give a chance to these people who didn't care enough about Eda & Serkan in episode 29 but now 4 eps later, Selin has integrated back into the scene disturbingly well. Ferit is still the only one we've seen confronting her and Melo has been very supportive but that has not changed since 29 so development for other characters caring about EdSer has not improved in my opinion. They have accepted it :( And its actually worse now bc of Deniz. Aydan starting to feel bad does not count.

Oh I agree, they can all rot as far as I’m concerned, Piril is particularly disgusting to me.

You know, having said that, part of me thinks, even from Piril and Ferit’s first conversations with Selin, that they all just know it’s a matter of time until Serkan realizes he belongs with Eda. Like none of them are doing anything because they’ve witnessed over and over Serkan’s inability to stay away from her and assume the situation will play itself out and they just need to let it be? I would prefer to think this rather than any of them (other than Piril) being okay with Selin’s psycho behavior.

The other problem is that Serkan is such an authoritative figure to all of them. None of them, other than Eda, know how to question him. Did you see Engin, he’s too scared to tell Serkan they lost a client when he had nothing to do with the reason why? He has balls of Styrofoam. Kinda stands to reason that none of those gutless wonders are going to try and make him see the light when he’s so obstinately trying to not be the person they all told him he turned into with Eda.

For Aydan, while I will still never forgive her for keeping Serkan’s whereabouts a secret, she might be treading lightly because she knows Serkan tends to do the opposite of what she tells him to do. If she pushes too hard for Eda, he might start reacting against that.

Anonymous said: Serkan's change of attitude between day and night is really disturbing. The whole progression between him and eda is destroyed each time. At the end of the episode we always find ourselves back at the starting point with zero progression. At this point it's really tiring, they should stop it or at least take Selin out of the equation (also why selin and serkan are still engaged ? at this point is ridiculous).

While I agree that Selin needs to be out of the equation and her presence is beyond tiring, I disagree that their progression is destroyed each time. They really don’t start at zero.

Do you think they get to the point where they were in this episode without everything that came before? Having a couple of deep and real conversations, where Serkan is vulnerable, having Serkan leaving the hotel to come and help Eda? Calling her boss and working together as a seamless team? Him hugging her back? Him asking deep and sincere question about how she could move on and give up on him?

That would not have happened in prior episodes. I assume you feel like a deep moment happens and the next interaction they act like it didn’t? That is partly true, but I think it’s both of them protecting themselves, so after a particularly close moment they boomerang back. Serkan is being pushed out of comfort zones he didn’t even know he had. So yes he retreats after being vulnerable. Eda is at her emotional limits and she still has that pride. However, while that’s true that they do take a step back after a big moment, it’s also true that the next time they have a real moment, a big moment, it goes deeper than the last. They all build on one another.

So there is progression and they are building something. His feelings for sure are much different than they were in 29/30. He’s in a vastly different place, he’s recognizing that he has feelings for Eda to the point that he’s sleeping on his office couch clutching her wedding invitation. The progress is slow, but it’s happening, just like the first time around, when they’d take a step forward and then one of them would freak out and pull back a bit.

Anonymous said: It was a good episode but I still don't understand why writers keep on writing things that aren't necessary (aydan and ayfer killing alex plus all of theirs scenes together that are boring by the way, the scenes between selin and serkan where they are suddenly close, selin and deniz..) we don't need to see that. They should focus more on the trauma that serkan is going through and the way he falls little by little in love with eda with those memories of them that appear to him at the same time.1

They should just take Selin away and get rid of those fake engagement. 2

Well you certainly won’t get any argument from me that we need to get rid of fake engagements and Selin and Deniz. I’m also laughing because we’re all referring to Serkan and Selin’s engagement as fake. That’s because it is. It’s something Serkan is using as a buffer, and we are now at the point that he doesn’t need it anymore, its only him who needs to realize it.

As for Alex, Aydan and Ayfer the fact is this show is over 2 hours in length each week and they have to have B and C storylines in order to fill it. This week it was A/A/A and I got to tell you, I’ve seen worse. If you don’t take it too seriously (which you really shouldn’t take too much on this show seriously, at this point it’s really just a vehicle for Hande and Kerem to work their special brand of magic each week) you can just enjoy the reprieve from Selin and try and enjoy these two ladies’ dynamic and their shenanigans. Both Alican (Seyfi) and Evrim (Ayfer) previewed on twitter that they laughed so hard while reading episode 33, I assume it has to do with Alex’s “death.” I say bring on the comedy!

Anonymous said: you know i've seen a lot of talk about how serkan is being "cruel" with eda and i don't agree at all. i mean, when they're bantering, she's giving back just as good as she gets.. and bantering/arguing is kinda their "thing" .. it's like their foreplay lmao. and when she does feel hurt by something he does or says it's not like he's doing it intentionally with the purpose of inflicting her pain. idk.. cruel is a very strong word to use for what the dynamic is between them right now..

Agreed. Remember when the narrative from episode 20-26 was that Eda was being cruel to Serkan and needed to suffer? There are some people who can’t help but pit the two halves of the whole against each other. I don’t do that. There’s enough empathy to go around.

Especially when they’re arguing, as you say Eda gives as good as she gets (that’s why she’s the only match for Serkan, she’s the only one who can go toe to toe with him) and there were also quite a few moments where she was provoking him. As she told him in the shelter, just because they didn’t always agree, didn’t mean there wasn’t love.

Anonymous said: I see a ton of people cancelling Serkan each week but I think he’s going to cancel himself when he remembers and that’s what will further prolong their reunion/wedding. He drove himself sick with guilt about her parents and he had 0 fault in that, but in this instance, there are things a version of him said and did, even if it was in the wrong state of mind. I hope the writing does this justice.

Me too. While I don’t want to spend episode upon episode with him wallowing and self-flagellating, we are owed a scene of his devastation at what he’s put her through. He loves her so much it will be very painful when he puts it all together.

On the other hand, I think he won’t remember enough to be at that point until he’s already admitted he’s in love with her afresh. That might dull the need for him to punish himself too much as he would have fulfilled his promise to fall in love with her if born again.

jan31: Hi Liza, hope you are well. I am sure you have seen the fragman by now, have you got any idea why Serkan would give Seline 5% of his shares. Is at guilt thing after finding him with Eda? I want to believe he remembers more than he is letting on with her and it's some kind of test, but I think I am clowning! When it comes to love he is clueless but not business. Why would he take away his majority and now be 45%? I am perplexed! Maybe there will be something In the episode that will explain it, as I think this happens near the beginning? Not sure anymore if 33 will be Selines last episode now, maybe they are dragging out the drama a bit longer for ratings, who knows!

I think this is one where we can’t judge it until we actually see what happens. Serkan has to wise up at some point and giving away 5% of the company (even though its her shares she sold to him when she left town) is very unwise and I find it hard to buy that its something he does because he feels guilty because he got all cuddly with Eda in the cabin. He’s always been a savvy business man, and her hold on him has only been lessening, not increasing.

Let’s hope he’s starting to wise up and it’s some sort of test or trap. Unless the new writers just don’t understand who Serkan Bolat is at all.

Anonymous said: Anyone else need to take several deep breaths after watching that fragman? Everyone is canceled except for Eda, Melo, Ferit (if he knew nothing about the shares) and Serkan (although he is going to seriously make up for his cruelty at some point). I guess the only positive is that it seems like everything that happened in the last 4 episodes is all coming together finally. Eda will hopefully finally figure out what Ceren’s problem is and hopefully also figure out Deniz & Selin are working together. And at least Serkan seems determined to get Eda to admit there is still something between them which has to mean he has finally accepted his feelings for her. Things have been progressing slowly and Selin has been smug for far too long so exciting to think there will be a change.

My thought is we need to wait and see context for all of these things. I have a feeling not everything is as it appears.

Though one thing I think that is exactly as it appears is Serkan trying to get Eda to admit she has feelings for him. That’s good. That’s really, really good. He’s making a move. He’s bringing the sexual tension. Love to see it.

Anonymous said: Ok so do you buy the theory that Serkan suspects that Selin sabotaged Eda with that dossier? Because when I first saw him getting that flashback at the hotel, I didn't understand why they needed to show it - maybe just to let us know again that Serkan doubted Eda's work skills since they had been bickering all day? But then I read that the flashback could be to confirm that he knew Selin was present. This could be fans coming up with better ideas than the writers though. :/

I want to buy that theory. I want to buy it lunch and dinner and some wine and flowers and I want it to be true!!!! I also want the 5% shares to be a part of some plan he has to figure out what Selin’s is doing.

Though... lets not get too far ahead of ourselves, this is just speculation which mostly never happens, however the spoilers have long said that Selin leaves in 33 or 34. For that to happen something drastic has to happen. There’s also screenshots going around that show that there was definitely a security camera right behind Selin when she got into the network and deleted Eda’s files. So there’s a good chance hard evidence of her perfidy exists.

Honestly, this makes the most sense to me in getting rid of her (which means it’s probably not true).

However, if it were true, it would help bolster Serkan’s character a bit. He’s a smart man but they’ve turned him into a fool not suspecting anything about Selin, if he unmasks her himself and takes her down for business reasons and doesn’t care a bit about dumping her personally, it kills a bunch of birds with one stone. It restores his savvy, it gets rid of her, it gets rid of her by his hand so it’s not like the choice was taken away from him, it gives her some consequences and comeuppance without overtaking the plot, and it does all this without advancing the romantic story with Eda too quickly (cause I think they want to milk that a little while longer)

Also the only other way they get rid of her at this point is if Serkan breaks it off and tells her he’s in love with Eda. And I really need her GONE now and not once Serkan is at the screaming at her about how much he’s in love with Eda stage of this story.

Anonymous said: Okay so Serkan must have a plan and that is why he gave Selin the shares, right? Or he is doing it to make up for ruining her birthday? It would be great if he was doing it because he finally accepted his feelings for Eda on some level & plans to break up with Selin but feels bad about it. Just very weird that he would give her the shares (which to everyone that cannot read his mind comes off as cementing their future together) while at the same time trying to get Eda to admit her feelings for him.

Yeah, I think we’re all on the same wavelength that something is fishy here. Let’s hope it’s a ploy because Serkan knows Selin has been up to no good. And if so I really, really need Eda to be present for her takedown this time. Girlfriend deserves that.

Anonymous said: what do you think of this third set of writers? I'm not sure if the episodes have been bad because they were instructed to write this stagnant plot and its not really their fault, or if the scene would've been fine but were just actually written badly. Idk if Im making any sense. I personally refer to 26-27-28 as the "edser renaissance" and was not missing Ayse's team and now I'm sad but idk if it's unfair to the writers if this is more likely the showrunner's idea or something

It’s hard to tell because it’s only been two episode, but I think the DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA seems to be a directive from the producers/network. However, I think they’ve written some very nice individual scenes. As I’ve said, the scene where Serkan comes back to ArtLife to help Eda is already on my list of favorite scenes ever and there was a lot of goodness besides that. There was the accidental kiss, and arguing (how much did you love Eda sitting with Melo counting down until Serkan came to the coffee room) and the coffee shop and every second in that cabin. So I guess I disagree with you that the scenes are all bad. If there’s nothing you like in the episode, maybe go back and just rewatch some of the Edser scenes without having the stench of Selin and Deniz nonsense polluting them, I promise you there’s lots of goodness there.

#edser #sen cal kapimi #Sen Çal Kapımı #sck 1x32 #sck spoilers #sck 1x33 #asklizac #sckask

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fruitylibrarian · 3 years ago

Text

quest of the spear live rewatch!

i already spewed my pre call to adventure flynn thoughts all over a text post but I would like to repeat: pre-canon flynn my beloved <3

yes he is a bit of a bastard but he just loves his books and he’s so genuinely just like. passionate and like…. Big? does that make sense? like i mean inside. not literally. bright

flynn’s mom is so fucking funny

and she’s Trying Her Best

you know one thing I don’t understand, I assume that flynn could afford to keep going to college because of like grants and scholarships since he’s all smart and like, even if his mom is well off, no one below the morally bankrupt millionaire line can pay for 22 degrees and not die of no-money-itis otherwise known as Starving

but like. why not become a professor or some other academia position?

you’d be incredibly overqualified and you’re a white dude, so while academia isn’t exactly bursting with new spaces to fill I’m sure you could find something???? and like. a professor in particular, while baby flynn might not be great at the connection part, seems like a natural progression to at least try for considering it keeps you in that comfort zone and familiar space just in a different albeit familiar role, and allows you to go on long lectures people can’t interrupt. and like, professors literally like, part of their job is research and to continue learning, so like. it seems like the natural choice for him to go for?

don’t get me wrong, baby flynn in particular might not be extremely well suited considering his lack of people skills, but plenty of professors are brilliant slightly odd smarties who give long, super engaging theatrical lectures (sounds like him!) but suck at one on one meetings and talking to people or may be accidentally insulting, but like, their class is genuinely interesting and they grade decently so like, I think he could get past that hurdle is what I’m saying

obviously he’d have to work at it and get the skills necessary but you know what that means? MORE SCHOOL, BABY! just in a different direction! like just? it seems like the obvious choice for his situation

ah yes!!! magic letter!!! it’s kind of funny they do this, it’s a great hook and way to make applicants go Uh Excuse Me and want to know more but also like, there’s no proof magic happened either?

although you’d think some people would get obsessive like let me tell you if i encountered real ass magic like that i wouldn’t stop until i had an answer

ah the Incredibly Long Interview Line. it’s kinda how funny how like. Not Special he is but at the same time he is?

“never been treated so badly in my entire life!” what did you say to him charlene

i’m sure he deserved it i just want to know

wait oh no i just realized

all these people are dead

every single one of them got murdered in the first episode of the series

jesus that’s dark

not gonna be able to stop thinking about that one huh

also love how it’s pretty evenly men and women

although it’s still mostly white

fuck that lady just left crying I know they’re doing this to turn up the drama but DAMN, charlene

god he almost gave up. remember the timeline episode where he never became the librarian? weird.

Gkjlfkgjhfglh Where Do You Think You’re Going? (weak gesture like “me?”) Yes You. Get In Here amazing how can she even see him she’s around the CORNER. camera? magical surveillance? why? just to freak people out? amazing.

i do so love charlene, it’s a shame she wasn’t in the show more

also she literally never explains shit. What Makes You Think You Can Be The Librarian he doesn’t even know what that means, charlene

He Doesn’t Even Have A Library Science Degree

oh wow he does actually have librarian qualifications lmao

why did i not remember that

DLKFGJDFG I did remember him sherlocking her tho

wait her MARRIAGE? to WHO?

i thought her and judson were a thing despite jenkins being into her or something?

huh

also why does this qualify him to be The Librarian™ like oh he can sherlock? ok?

maybe it’s just bc he had the balls to do it

well, the sherlock thing is also not completely unhelpful it just doesn’t seem central to his skills, or at least, not the way he uses it (do we see him use it like this again? he usually applies more obscure knowledge then ye classic deduction sherlockian skills if I remember correctly which I may not because my brain is smooth)

judson is such a fucking drama queen

LKDJFGLKDJFGLDKFJG I FUCKING FORGOT HE LITERALLY JUST FUCKING REPEATED HIS MOM’S LITTLE PHRASE AMAZING

also why did he seem to think her sending everyone home meant he didn’t get it why would she stop all interviews because you fucked up

he just fucking walked out of a wall judson you are so dramatic

also warehouse 13 vibes huh. welcome to a world of endless wonder

I could do a whole fucking thesis on warehouse 13 and the librarians or—well that’s a whole other tangent

anYWYA

this interview was remarkably easy tho, it’s not like he wasn’t impressive but it wasn’t mindblowing either????? this coming from a big fan of flynn

the big shiny wonderous eyes as the library lights up……flynn my beloved

also his floofy hair ldkfgjdlkfgj

he’s like this is too good am I being prank’d

why the mona lisa?????iIs the mona lisa magic??? It only became famous because it got stolen why would it be magic??? Is this one of those we make it magic by believing it or some shit things???

Flynn Do Not Open The Random Box In The Library Of Incredibly Dangerous Artifacts

oh hello excalibur !!

oh rip flynn immediately being like “oh im not worthy, trust me” with 100 percent certainty im hurt oof

KSJFLGKDJGLKDJG THE APPLE “the apple from the garden of eden…….” *judson takes a bite* “actually I just left this here”

excalibur hello properly!!!!

judson is such a fucking DRAMA QUEEN he’s so casual!! and cal you too you slippery bitch!

ah the jetpack.

DLFKGJDLKFGJ “it usually takes a new librarian four hours to find the jetpack. you did it in three! congratulations” love the implication that every librarian (at least since it was added to the library) has done this no matter how serious like the bad guy of this movie… *checks notes* edware wilde? jetpack. darrington dare, probably? jetpack. i like to think jenkins did it too (not technically a librarian, but you know)

flynn thinking of himself as embarrassing… ☹

HIS MOM IS SO PROUD OF HIM

part sweet, part funny, part rip

I don’t know what she was expecting when he said librarian tho like. originally he literally looked at shit for FRY COOk degrees don’t always mean shit you know

and librarian is up there with professor in Perfect Jobs For Flynn like what did you expect??? Like even if he’d become an archaeologist (a “cool” job) it’s not like that pays super well either as far as I know??

he was never going to be Traditionally Successful

he’s still the same person he still has the same strengths and passions of course he would go into academia and do something like librarian like????? her reaction saddens me.

just be happy for him!! look at him!!!

ok first of all even normal non magic librarians don’t just put books on shelves and that’s a condescending reduction of the job, and second of all, he is so happy!! he has a job, he’s taking responsibility, he’s meeting people, isn’t that enough??? isn’t that literally what you wanted??? even if it WERE what you think it is why couldn’t it just be a good first step??? like??? fuck??? you did been know that he was doing all those fancy degrees because he loved them not because they’d get him some super fancy job??? I mean egyptology is not the most profitable field you know this isn’t med school or whatever

god.

flynn’s mom, visibly not proud and very upset: of course im proud of you!

ok im being a little unfair, she’s trying and clearly she’s been supportive of him, if not straight up enabling of him, but like this is clearly being presented as like. normal person who is normal forced to take care of freakish strange son who is so nerdy and strange and a loser and she is so tired of his shenanigans and all that WORK she put in and he’s NOT FANCY AND CHANGING TO CONFORM TO HER IDEALS OF A GOOD SUCCESSFUL SON/MAN?

and that’s just all very. sigh.

the snake brotherhood are such obnoxiously cheesy villainous villains they’re even called the snake brotherhood

also I think we’re supposed to recognize him as the previous librarian from the painting but if I didn’t already know that I for sure would not know that

smartass flynn is a smartass

I never got people bringing someone coffee to impress them unless they knew their order like there’s no way you know who she likes her coffee so you could so easily get it wrong—like even if you don’t know exactly how much sugar she wants, you could also just get it entirely wrong like assume she likes black coffee but she likes it super sweet, or vice versa, or whatever. it can go wrong so easily!

or she could go “I Hate A Kiss Ass”

she did take it anyway tho so.

ah i did forget (or just not actively think about) how much like… christian mythology there is in this show :/ I mean we did been knew (excalibur and arthurian legend are pretty important to the mythology)

not that christian mythology is inherently bad it just gets a) annoying, b) boring, and c) y’know, very western centric and all

but then trying to reconcile di—you know what that’s a tangent for another time

then again I do assume no one is going to read this

the library really does just throw new librarians into death and go “hope this is fine!” huh

did they just imply god is canon in the “the librarian” universe

you were so cryptic with the no one thing!! just say NOONE

he’s scribbling in his notebook and mumbling out loud what a mood and I love him. what a nerd

ldfkgjdlkjg god sexy jazz music and a breeze this is so dumb

I do hate the forced love interests in all these movies it’s always like Some Hot Girl Is There And They Get It On!

like he really had chemistry with eve and banter but here it kinda feels like that wish fulfilment and then the nerd gets the hot chick the end and im saying that as the nerd

it doesn’t help that each movie has a different one who immediately is dropped as if she never existed afterwards

maybe it’s not as bad as I remember but. sigh

my instant impression of her is to not like her sorry nicole :/

she’s just so rude? she’s like. hot (derogatory)

i get there’s gender politics here with like. she’s used to being treated like a piece of meat and generally like, why not reap the benefits when you are going to get the creeps too, but like, also she’s just so unnecessarily rude—I mean rejecting his clumsy flirting is one thing but you know—ok I won’t even get into that the point is I just don’t really like her that much even tho I don’t think she’s necessarily a bad person or anything you know

but to be fair I think she got better and I remember her being compelling in her return to the show

and like. I do like how the trend in this franchise is “smart little nerd librarian and badass lady guardian kicks ass” but I do wish that it turned around occasionally. we do get cassandra but like. more lady librarians

wow an air marshal? aren’t they rarely even on flights?

sorry im being nitpicky there for sure lmao. please delete the cinamasins ding my words probably summoned from your brain

I get why shoving him out was necessary but also Wow

Gjklhkjfgh imagine sitting next to some mumbling nerd the whole flight and then you see him fly past the windows

LFKGJDLKJDFG he brilliantly lowers our expectations then jumps without a chute! remarkable!

hilarious or commentary on men getting credit for womens’ competency? why not both

i really thought that she was going to be a lying liar the first time I watched this

ah naïve boy. “uh that’s against the law”

flynn’s greatest strength isn’t just his knowledge but his like. breadth of different topics, just like, passion for learning of any time, and like. the ability to not just know a lot of different things but cross-reference and apply them to each other and use them in tandem to understand a greater whole

and we love that for him!

ah flynn therapizing himself lmao

why would she take him going “this bridge is rotting and physically cant support our weight” as a challenge

or him being cowardly like THE STRUCTURAL SUPPORTS ARE ROTTING

YEAH WHAT DID YOU EXPECT OF COURSE HE FUCKING FELL

ok i lied i like nicole i just don’t love their dynamic

i get what they’re going for i just. not my thing

like with eve there was still a clear mutual respect? i guess? idk

maybe it’s just because i’m more sensitive to mean banter? i don’t like mean banter, even when it’s like, def 100 percent well meaning and not mean spirited and no one is actually offended or hurt

although despite not liking their Thing I do a) think it’s very cute how he looks at her, b) their vibe as they start to get to know each other is Better, c) the end of the movie scene where she rides in for maximum drama? now that was good shit.

oh he’s sherlocking her in a shy attempt to impress her but it’s only going to piss her off, right?

oh she’s just sherlocking him back

KSGFJLDKFGJ LMAO “nerd” and that’s it. fair

Cutting Off His Head damn that’s hardcore

hmmmm cringe,

and more cringe

and cringe.

her waking up to him gone right after telling that story about waking up to her librarian gone and then killed—oof

love the serpent brotherhood lady being like wow!! he’s SO COMPETENT!! (cuts to him screaming)

do these ancient traps just have infinite arrows?

also I do love the whole waltzing across trope what can I say im a sucker

DFLKGLDKFGJLDKJG fucking CHUCKS SOMETHING AT IT and immediately where he would be standing is crushed by a huge rock amazing

he literally just chucked a rock at it and it fell over

ah the classic “let the hero get it for us” move

oh there he is! rip

why does he look like macpherson

not really but kind of

also contrast between the lady always being like “omg the librarian is so smart” and him assuming nicole is the one who did the smart thing

“your tears were perfect” how much more of an asshole can you get

They really could have played him as more sympathetic—“oh, we’re always around these powerful artifacts but we never use them for good! I had to do it, I was sick of sitting back and doing nothing” or like “all those years of danger and guarding powerful things and what good did it ever do me? what do I get for my service?” or anything but nah hes just like “mm power good babes. anyway I love sex and being mean”

to be fair flynn he was the librarian too—a real librarian? I mean yeah edward was corrupted and ultimately failed his duties but he had to have been qualified and actually got the job for a reason

flynn I know you think you sound badass but you really don’t

god not shangri-la again. everything the show did with that was. Bad. yikes

why is—god, I should really learn her name [checks notes] lana fangirling so much?

also following the lamia tradition of “serpent brotherhood second in command who is more interesting than the main evil white guy and also a pretty woc” huh

never got like “this is literally impossible” “well do it or I [generic bad guy threat]” like usually that means nothing lmao

LDFKGJLDKFJLDKFGJ ok first of all god is me? bitch?

second of all. me in english? on this fucking ancient very much not english thing? I mean I guess a) it might not be literal, even though he did say “m, e” by letters, b) it is a christian myth so maybe planted later??? but like?????

dude. giving the super powerful artifact to your prisoner? bad idea. if you’re worried about booby traps have a minion do it.

oh yes your gun is so scary in the face of a temple collapsing

why do heroes always think the whatever is safer with them than the temple that’s guarded it for a thousand years

I get it’s been discovered but like. fuck. still

You Are Going To Crash This Helicopter

SLKGJ HORRIBLE HIGH VELOCITY PIE OF DEATH

flynn and judson…..wholesome

oh here comes more forced romance

just let them be friends who grow to mutually respect each other blease

it is very fucking funny that the mom is like ….. oh my god…. oh my god,,, a WOMAN AJUST ANSEWREDM Y SDONGS PHONE?????????OH MY GOFD?????

he is bisexual. but it’s good he’s getting out

ah floofy hair

cahooting,

Yes You Do Need Clothes

that’s a teleporter sir

god eddie wild is such a boring fucking villain and person

and his plan SUCKS

also the serpent brotherhood (why BROTHERhood?) sucks and hates the library why would they just let this guy, a librarian, literally be their new leader

wow he just stabbed a guy on his OWN TEAM for no reason

great going asshole

love how lana is just like…. O-O

we stan lana. she hasn’t done much and she’s technically a bad guy i just love her

“at last we can be one” what does that even mean

why would lana or any of them want to help him he just killed one of their own for no reason hes clearly tripping on power and leaving yall to die

lfkgjdlkfgj flynn dodging so hard while the others is fight and then PUNCHING A GUY

dfglkjdflgkj wait it’s the professor dude why is that so funny

is he WITH THEM??? I think I just missed something

hold on a sec

yeah I think he just appears??? And flynn just fucking broke his nose iconic

wait so was he with them or is he just here going WHY ARE THERE RANDOM PEOPLE IN MY PYRAMID????????????

oh right he built the—ok I got it

Wait what

I mean I did think lana was neat and she seemed impressed with flynn but what shes just like, in love with him now? that makes zero fucking sense why would she want them to Be Together

Is it just so there can be a catfight between the two hot chicks?

seriously tho? morally pure blonde blue eyed girl versus Evil Asian Chick? really?

for the record NOT THAT IT MATTERS but lana is way cuter im just saying

ah badass judson

THE COMEDY OF THE CAPSTONE CRUSHING HIM DLFKGJDLKFGJ

oh………….pulling out excalibur…. predicable but so good

oh the painting….the very Parenty way of revealing it…… wholesome

oh did NOT like that transition

oh here comes the badass fucking entrance with his gf busting in on his mom trying to set him up with girls

HER ENTRANCE IS SO UNNECESSARAILY DRAMATIC I LOVE THEM

I just love the mom’s face ldfkgjldfkgjdlkfgjdlkfjgd shes like WHAT THEGUFVCJK

again I don’t love the vibes of “oh my weird loser son is finally normal!” but to be fair im exaggerating a bit from just facial expressions it’s just. sigh

but ngl the vindication of him being able to be like. yeah that’s right im a badass now and my gf is cool as fuck is still good

him and nicole do have not terrible vibes at the end but if I remember correctly that mission (time travelling ninjas and hg wells’s time machine) is the one that separated them so rip I guess

overall: good movie! as cringe as I remember but I still love flynn so much

#flynn carsen #the librarian: quest for the spear #going to bed now. perhaps the others tomorrow

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arcticdementor · 3 years ago

Link

A reader writes:

I’m writing to you today because I have some information to share with you (and your readers) who may still be skeptical that this LGBTQIA+ gender-identity craze is coming for their kids. Some recent interactions online have made me more aware than ever that the movement is spreading in wild and unpredictable ways, and also made me reflect on how, in my own life, even someone like me could have fallen victim to it.

I want to start off by saying that recently, (and ironically, in an attempt to try not to be sucked into the internet as purely a source for doom and gloom: you will see how this backfires on me) I decided to rejoin a fan community surrounding one of my favorite franchises on Twitter. I won’t go into too much detail about which community and the exact specifics, but just know that it’s a popular franchise that’s appropriate for older kids, teens and adults (nothing 18+, nothing for really little ones). As a teen myself I was fairly active in a similar branch of this community on another social media platform (Facebook), and enjoyed it immensely before the platform eventually went more or less defunct as a hot-spot for fan content. Most of the content was fan-created work (like fan-art or fan-fiction) with a little interaction and lots of “DID YOU SEE THE LATEST” kinds of posts.

…

Anyway, to keep it to a minimum, that was then. If you’ve been on the internet any time in the last five years you know that spaces where people just talk about an interest and don’t mix it with politics and activism are becoming few and far between. Even though I knew this, and knew that I wasn’t going to have the same experience in a different place, something sparked an interest in me to go try to reconnect with my internet roots in a different setting. So, I followed some hashtags, quickly found some new followers and settled back to enjoy at least marginally some discussions online that didn’t have to do with Covid and All The Ways We Are All Going To Die.

Then came the teenagers.

Much like when I was a kid, this franchise attracts a lot of younger people. So it was hardly surprising to me to find that many of my new followers were in the 14-18 age range and that people like myself (mid-older 20s) were a sort of senior majority. That was fine- Twitter’s rules after all are 13+, so it’s not unreasonable to assume if you’re part of a popular group that you’ll interact on occasion with minors. That wasn’t the part I found strange. The part I found strange was that all of them, and I repeat, all of them were fans of two things- the franchise, and gender identities.

You can actually almost pinpoint the age range of the 18 and under crowd by how many of them have the following: 1. Pronouns in bio and in username. 2. Gender identity or lack thereof displayed in bio or username. 3. LGBTQ+ sexual orientation displayed in bio or username. etc. etc. etc. I’m not going to dive into it too much, because some might be saying “isn’t that just normal nowadays? Even politicians do that?” Well, you’re not wrong if that’s what you’re thinking. And that’s not the part that disturbs me.

What disturbed me was that, a few weeks after I joined the group, I started noticing an unsettling pattern among many of these teenage users (and many over-teen users, but I’m trying to make a point about the young ones specifically). For a few days, after an interesting bit of news or a trailer or some other thing that unites franchises, the posts in my feed would be primarily things like what I remembered from past experiences: posts about the franchises, theories, speculations, fanart, etc. But, every time things would settle back down into a quiet, normal week, the feeds in my post became almost entirely about one thing: Gender and LGBTQ talking points. I’m going to diverge for one second and say that many people in this group aren’t using a personal, front-facing account for their interactions in this fan-group. They’re mostly using alt-accounts with no real names and faces attached (myself included). And yet, every time the discussion in the feeds died down to where there was just no new stuff about the franchise to talk about, all the conversation slowly but surely shifted back to sexual orientation and gender. From fan-ships of perfect LGB couples to ‘hey I drew this person but as a trans-female!’ to even forgoing pretending to talk about their interests and just discussing their own gender and sex presentation with their other online friends, it became quickly very clear to me that A. I no longer really belonged here and B. Every single one of these kids was obsessed. Every. Single. One.

…

I’m going to digress and talk about myself for a minute to explain just why these examples, particularly that last one, burn a hole in my soul. From the minute I was old enough to remember, I’ve never been one of those typically presenting females. When my sisters and I played dress-up as kids, they played princesses and I played a prince or a witch or whatever was more interesting. In addition to the dolls and barbies I had being one of three girls, I also had an assortment of boy-oriented toys, including action figures, a remote control car and this really cool nerf bow-and-arrow set that I still secretly wish had survived my playing with it because man, my kids are gonna miss out someday. My hair was short because I hated wearing it up and the solution was a bob, and when we spent time with relatives I could be found as far away from my female cousins as possible, hanging out with my male cousins and talking about Legos and Lord of The Rings. I spent 90% of my time reading books and ignoring reality, and didn’t put much effort into my appearance until probably age 13 or later.

And I wished I was a boy.

It wasn’t an all-consuming thought, but I thought it. I wished, many times, when my parents would fuss at me to please stop attempting to climb trees in your Sunday clothes and when my sisters never talked about anything but dolls and tea-parties around their friends that I could be one of the boys. I had always liked the boys and their world better, and I fit into better, and yet there was that little problem (that I was still a girl) that kept me from being accepted into the boy group. The reality was, I was already probably very intelligent for my age (too-well read children can relate) and I took that big-headedness a little too far at times. I was also a very emotional person (still am) and just passionately felt that being a girl and being expected to do girl things was hideous and unfair.

The saving grace? My mom was the same. She’s never been a typical female either, and though as adults we have some clear differences (ironically, I have more stereotypical female interests/talents than her- like a hidden passion for interior decorating and a love of baking and so on) she was there for me, to be able to tell me that no- I didn’t really want to be a boy, I was just a girl who liked sword fights and grass-stains more than ballgowns and tea parties, and that was okay!!! She was proof that there were other girls like me, and that I would find more of them eventually (I did) and, even though we never said so in so many words, that stereotypes and how we fit into them has nothing to do with our innate female and male selves. And so, reassured that I could be female and still be however I wanted, I eventually grew out of those thoughts, and as I matured, found that there were ‘female things’ I connected with that my past self was too young to appreciate.

But, think about all this in a modern context. I’m a happy adult female now, and I was never truly gender-questioning. I just thought, for a while, that boys had more fun than I did, so I wanted to be one. But that, in it of itself, is a thought that’s deep enough for modern gender activists to insist I be transitioned immediately and put on life-altering hormones, never given a chance to grow up or grow out of questioning, and affirmed in my presentation instantly! If I, like that young girl online, had been handed a ‘gender-affirming’ flag and an identity that ‘made sense’ out of why I was different from my peers, I might have jumped on it, especially without the presence of a wise older person to tell me I wasn’t anything different than what she’d been as a child. This is the problem, this is why this kind of thing is so dangerous and toxic and wrong.

#the american conservative #letter from a reader #online fan communities

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atomic-taco-muffin · 4 years ago

Text

The Lost Princess Chapter 11

Warnings: angst/fluff

Rating: SFW

In a room full of darkness, a group with equally dark intentions gaze at an image of you and the trio on a round table.

“Those little squirts took down that Heartless! Who’d have thought it?” someone said. The fiery man looked over to a thin man with a staff, who replied:

“Such is the power of the Keyblade. The child’s strength is not his own. And a spirit has woken from its slumber. I thought that we have destroyed all the spirits.” The large woman next to him gazed down cunningly at the image, water dripping off her many appendages.

“Why don’t we turn them into Heartless?” she asked as she cackled.

“That’ll settle things quick enough,” she said. A man standing next to her piped up.

“And the brat’s friends are the king’s lackeys. Swoggle me eyes, they’re all bilge rats by the look of them,” he said.

“You’re no prize yourself,” someone said. A ghostly figure beside the man laughed loudly and the man brandished a silver hook as his left hand.

“Shut up!” the man said.

“Enough!” someone said. The villains looked over to a tall woman in a black cloak. She gazed through narrow eyes at the image on the table, her green skin echoing its pale light. Her long fingers curved around the staff in her hand.

“The Keyblade has chosen him. And a spirit has risen. Will it be them who conquers the darkness? Or will the darkness swallow them? Either way, they could be quite useful,” she said.

You, Sora, Donald, and Goofy traveled to Wonderland and entered by way of Rabbit Hole. Slowly you drifted downward, past clocks and tables and fireplaces, Goofy lying on his back enjoying the ride. When you reach the bottom, You, Sora and Donald landed softly on your feet, while Goofy fell over with a big thump.

“This world is so cool! I can’t wait to explore it,” you said. You suddenly heard the quick pattering of feet as a white rabbit in a waistcoat carrying a large clock dashed past you.

“Oh, my fur and whiskers! I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!” the white rabbit said as he panted heavily.

“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! I’m here, I should be there,” he said. You and Sora watched him scurry away.

“I’m late, I’m late, I’m late! The queen, she’ll have my head for sure!” the rabbit said. You and the trio decided to follow him down the hall, where you reached a door, which revealed a smaller door underneath. You and the trio entered the Bizarre Room and saw the White Rabbit scurrying across the tiled floor, several sizes smaller than before. The ticking sounds of a multitude of clocks lining the walls filled your ears as you watched the rabbit run through a small wooden door with a large door knob on the edge of the room. Sora walked over to the door and knelt down in front of it.

“How did he get so small?” he asked.

“No, you’re simply too big,” the doorknob said. You and Donald jumped from hearing him talk.

“It talks!” Donald said. You looked at it in surprise and confusion as the doorknob yawned.

“Must you be so loud? You woke me up,” it said.

“Good morning,” Goofy said cheerfully.

“Good night! I need a bit more sleep,” it said. It yawned again as Sora got closer.

“Wait, what do we have to do to grow small?” he asked.

“Remember, (Y/N) can shape shift. Maybe if you use your powers, you become smaller,” Donald said.

“There is also a bottle over there,” the doorknob said. The four of you look at the table and saw two bottles appear on the table. The trio drink from the blue bottle and shrunk down to the size of the door while you used your powers to become tiny. Heartless appeared and you and the trio defeated them, but by that time, the doorknob has gone back to sleep and the door would not open. You soon found another entrance to the Queen’s Castle. Several soldiers stood guard as a trial was in progress inside a large hedge maze. Several roses lined the hedges, some red and some white. A procession of cards parted to allow you the trio to enter as a small blond girl in a blue pinafore dress was standing at a defendant’s table. She looked up to the bench and was addressed by a large scary woman wearing a crown. The White Rabbit ran up a podium and caught his breath before sounding a note with a trumpet.

“Court is now in session!” he said.

“I’m on trial? But why?” Alice asked.

“Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts, presiding!” the rabbit said. The queen sat at the bench frowning in a red and black gown, holding a heart-shaped fan.

“This girl is the culprit. There’s no doubt about it. And the reason is...because, I say so, that’s why!” she said.

“That is so unfair!” Alice said. The queen tapped her fan like a gavel.

“Well, have you anything to say in your defense?” the queen asked.

“Of course! I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong!” Alice said as she folded her arms and the White Rabbit gasped.

“You may be queen, but I’m afraid that doesn’t give you the right to be so...so mean!” she said. The queen scowled at her remark.

“Silence! You dare defy me?” the queen yelled as she slammed her fists on the bench.

“Hey, guys, we should help her out,” you said.

“Yeah, but the--,” Donald said.

“We’re outsiders, so wouldn’t that be muddling?” Goofy said.

“‘Meddling’!” Donald corrected.

“Oh, yeah. A-hyuck! And that’s against the rules.”

“The court finds the defendant...Guilty as charged!” the queen said as she raised her fan. Alice looked astonished at the verdict.

“For the crimes of assault and attempted theft of my heart... “ Sora gasped at what she said.

“Off with her head!” the queen yelled as she pointed to the girl and the Card Soldiers gathered around her.

“No! No! Oh, please!” Alice said.

“Hold it right there!” Sora said as he ran in, you, Donald, and Goofy close behind him.

“Who are you? How dare you interfere with my court?” the queen asked angrily.

“Excuse me. But we know who the real culprit is!” you said.

“Uh-huh. It’s the Heartle—” Goofy said but quickly his mouth and looked at Sora.

“Anyway, she’s not the one you’re looking for,” Sora said as he pointed to Alice as the queen leaned on the bench, tapping her finger.

“That’s nonsense. Have you any proof?” the queen asked as she smirked at a speechless Sora and Alice was imprisoned in a cage next to the bench.

“Bring me evidence of Alice’s innocence! Fail, and it’s off with all of your heads! Gather as much or little evidence as you please. Report back here once you’re ready,” the queen said. You and Sora talked to Alice while a Card Soldier stood guard.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“I’m Sora.”

“I’m (Y/N).”

“I’m Goofy, and that there’s Donald.”

“Pleased to meet you, though I do wish it were under better circumstances. I’m sorry you got mixed up in this nonsense,” Alice said.

“Why are you on trial in the first place?” you asked.

“I should like to know the very same thing! Apparently I was guilty from the moment I took the stand!”

“That’s crazy! So, where are you from?” Sora asked.

“Hmm, curious. I can’t quite remember. You see, I found this mysterious rabbit hole. When I tried to peek inside, I tumbled in head over heels... And I found myself here,” Alice said.

“So you’re from another world!”

“That’s funny. Maybe you don’t need a ship, then,” Goofy said.

“I don’t get it,” Donald said.

“What do you mean ‘another world’?” Alice asked.

“Enough! The defendant will be silent!” the guard said. You, Sora, Donald, and Goofy entered the Lotus Forest and looked around. A cat’s face appeared out of thin air, except this cat was smiling widely. It’s head bounced around the area, in and out of vision, until resting atop a large tree stump. The cat’s body appeared, standing on its head rather comically. It’s body was lined with purple stripes. It stepped off and placed its head back on its body, grinning incessantly.

“Who are you?” Donald yelled.

“Who, indeed? Poor Alice. Soon to lose her head, and she’s not guilty of a thing!” the cheshire cat said.

“Hey, if you know who the culprit is, tell us!” you said.

“The Cheshire Cat has all the answers—but doesn’t always tell. The answer, the culprit, the cat all lie in darkness,” the cheshire cat said as he disappeared.

“Wait!” you and Sora said.

“They’ve already left the forest. I won’t tell which exit. There are four pieces of evidence in all. Three are a cinch to find. The fourth is tricky. Big reward if you find them all,” the cheshire cat said.

“Should we trust him?” Donald asked. The cat had suddenly returned.

“To trust, or not to trust? I trust you’ll decide!” he said as he disappeared again. You and the trio defeated Heartless in the Lotus Forest before finding some Footprints near a large flower. After climbing to one of the tree tops, Sora found a hole in the trunk of a tree. You and the trio entered it and find themselves in the Bizarre Room again, this time on top of the huge stone stove. Near the two burners, you found a Stench. You and the trio returned to the Lotus Forest and traveled further in, finding a large boulder and several Dalmatian puppies. You and the trio climbed the boulder and reach a lily pad, where you discovered an Antenna. As you travel along lily pads, you saw a hole in a high corner of the woods. You and the trio make their way over and enter. You fell into the Bizarre Room, on top of a faucet sticking out of the wall. Jumping to a nearby wooden ledge, you and the trio found some Claw Marks. After saving this evidence, the Cheshire Cat appeared on the faucet, still grinning.

“Well, look what you’ve found. Nice going,” he said.

“Now we can save Alice,” you said.

“Don’t be so sure! She may be innocent, but what about you?”

“What do you mean?” Sora asked.

“I won’t tell. But I’ll give you something,” he said as he gave you the Blizzard spell and disappeared. You and the trio returned to the Queen’s Castle and spoke to a Card Soldier.

“Are you ready to present evidence before the queen?” he asked.

“Yes,” you said.

“Very well. Counsel, step up to the podium.” You and Sora stood at the defendant’s table, while Donald and Goofy were in a separate box.

“Now, show me what you have found,” the queen said. You and Sora presented the four items of evidence.

“Well, that’s certainly a lot of evidence, but I’m still not impressed. Cards! Bring forth my evidence!” the queen said. The cards presented the queen’s box of evidence and the five boxes were shuffled around to Sora’s confusion.

“Hmm, checking all five would only be a waste of time. All right, then. Choose the one you wish to present. I’ll decide who’s guilty based on that evidence,” the queen said.

“What? After all the trouble of collecting it?” Sora asked.

“You dare object? Then you will lose your head! Now, choose! One box!” the queen yelled. You chose on of the boxes.

“Are you certain? No second chances!” the queen said.

“I’m sure,” you said.

“Now we shall see who the real culprit is,” the queen said. The box opened and a Soldier Heartless appeared.

“What in the world was that?” the queen asked.

“There’s your evidence. Alice is innocent,” Sora said.

“Rrrrrrrgh... Silence! I’m the law here!” the queen yelled as she pounded on the bench.

“Article 29: Anyone who defies the queen is guilty!” the queen said.

“That’s crazy!” Donald said as he jumped up and down.

“Seize them at once!” the queen shouted. The podiums and hedges disappeared and a large crank tower rose from the floor. The Ten of Spades ran over to the tower’s gear and turned it, raising Alice’s cage at the bench. The queen lifted her fan and the cards leaped into battle.

“Cards! If they touch the tower, you lose your heads!” the queen yelled. You, Sora, Donald, and Goofy began attacking the red and black Card Soldiers who came at them with axes. After knocking a couple out, they fluttered to the ground unconscious.

“Get them, you fools! Quit joking around!” the queen yelled. Sora ran up to the Queen of Hearts, who tried to fight back with magic from her fan. Sora dodged this and knocked her over, exposing her heart- patterned bloomers. At this point, the Card Soldiers freezed on the spot for fear of their queen. Sora ran back over to you and the two of you started slamming his Keyblade and your dagger into the crank tower, with each strike lowering Alice’s cage.

“Why, you!” the queen yelled angrily. Eventually, the tower started to crack and shattered to pieces. The flamingo head holding up Alice’s cage dropped to the ground and the curtain pulled back. You and Sora ran forward as the Queen of Hearts peered over the bench to see an empty cage.

“She must’ve gotten kidnapped while we were fighting,” Donald said.

“You fools!” the queen yelled as she slammed her fists and the cards stood up in attention.

“Find the one who’s behind this! I don’t care how!” the queen said. The Card Soldiers ran in various directions at the queen’s orders. You and Sora talked to the Card Soldier in charge of Alice’s detainment.

“I just looked away for a moment, and...” the card said. You, Sora, Donald, and Goofy walked back into the Lotus Forest and saw a flower sneeze up a rock. It landed near the pond and the Cheshire Cat appeared, standing on his front legs.

“Have you seen Alice?” you asked.

“Alice, no. Shadows, yes!” the cat said.

“Where did they go?” Goofy asked.

“This way? That way? Does it matter? Left, right, up, down! All mixed up thanks to the shadows! Step deeper into the forest to the deserted garden. You might find shadows in the upside-down room!” The cat vanished and Heartless appeared again. Once they dispeled the horde of creatures, you and the trio found a thirsty flower.

“Give me a potion and I’ll make you bigger,” the flower said. Sora obliged and grew until he could almost touch the treetops. He knocked the boulder into the pond and more lily pads rose out of it. He found a large nut at the top of a tree and used his Keyblade to knock it down. He ate it and returned to you, Donald and Goofy’s size. You and the trio traveled to the back of the wood and found another entrance to the Bizarre Room. This time, you found yourselves standing on the side of the room. More Heartless appeared and in the shuffle, you knocked a teddy bear off a shelf and it fell horizontally onto the armchairs below. Sora lit one of the lamps in the room, which revealed a painting on the floor of a beach in both night and day. You and the trio entered the painting and returned to the Lotus Forest. At the furthest part of the forest, you and the trio enter the Tea Party Garden, seeing a long table with several chairs. Teapots and dinnerware lined the table as lanterns hung overhead. A painting of the Mad Hatter and the March Hare is hung at the edge of the table. The expressions on their faces is one of sadness. A sign is posted next to them reading “A very merry unbirthday. Sit down to get your present.” You and the trio sat at various chairs and the Hatter & Hare’s painted expressions changed to ones of joy and happiness. You and the trio entered the door in the house nearby and found yourselves standing on the ceiling of the Bizarre Room. The Cheshire Cat sat waiting for them.

“They’re hiding somewhere. And the mome raths outgrabe. Want to find the shadows? Try turning on the light,” the cat said. He vanished and you jumped onto one of the lamps and lit it. The cat reappeared on the other lamp.

“It’s too dim. Make it brighter,” he said.

“What next?” Sora asked.

“One more lamp that you need to light.” The cat disappeared and Sora lit the other lamp, summoning the cat once more.

“All the lights are on. You’ll see the shadows soon. They’ll arise in this room, but somewhere else. The shadows might go after that doorknob, too,” he said. The cat left as you and the trio made your way back to the Queen’s Castle to enter the correct way into the Bizarre Room. Upon entering the room, you spotted the Cheshire Cat on the table.

“You’ll have a better view from higher up,” he said. You, Sora, Donald, and Goofy climbed the table and the cat stood up.

“The shadows should be here soon,” he said as he tapped his toes daintily on the table.

“Are you prepared for the worst? If not, too bad!” he said. He pointed upwards and the enormous Trickmaster Heartless appeared. It landed on the floor with its accordion-like hands and jumped over the table, landing on its large pointed boots. It stood up to its full height, towering over the table, unraveling both of its long arms. It stared down at you and the trio with its five stacked heads. It folded its arms together and pulled out two giant matches, twirling them in the air. You and Sora got a running start, leaping off the table and striking at the Trickmaster’s faces as it raised its matches high in the air. It slammed them down onto the chair, sending it flattened into the floor. Sora jumped up, using the length of his Keyblade to deal blows to the Trickmaster. He knocked it out for a second, and it fell to its knees, though not for long. It started to sing to itself and swung wildly, hitting Donald, who shrieks. It continued twirling the matches, walking over to the stove. It bended over the stove and lit them, sending fireballs at the four of you. Goofy blocked them with his shield and Sora sended a Blizzard spell while you threw your dagger at it, effectively putting the fire out. After several more hits, the Trickmaster lowered its arms and fell to the ground. It attempted to stand, but crashed to the ground, its arms laying at its side. A large heart floated of its torso and it disappeared. You and Sora heard a noise behind him and turned, seeing the doorknob yawning.

“What a racket. How’s a doorknob to get any sleep?” it said. It yawned widely and they saw a Keyhole inside its mouth. A light shined around Sora’s Keyblade and it reacted with a will of its own, pointing at the Keyhole and releasing a beam of white light. They heard a locking sound and the doorknob finished yawning.

“What was that” Donald asked.

“You hear that? Sounded like something closed,” you said. A small green object fell to the ground in front of you four, shining.

“This gummi ain’t like the others. No, sir,” Goofy said.

“Okay, I’ll hold on to it,” Donald said. He picked up the gummi block and the Cheshire Cat appeared on the table, peering down at you four.

“Splendid. You’re quite the hero. If you’re looking for Alice, she’s not here. She’s gone! Off with the shadows, into darkness,” he said. The cat vanished with his grin.

“No...” Sora said.

“Let’s go back to our gummi ship. We might find her in another world,” Donald said.

“But what about my parents?” you asked.

“I’m sorry. But it seemed like there weren’t any clues here. But chin up, (Y/N). There might be some in other worlds.”

“You’re right. Let’s go!” You, Sora, Donald, and Goofy returned to the gummi ship and traveled to another world, hoping that you would find clues.

#kingdom hearts #kingdomhearts #kingdom hearts imagine #kingdom hearts x reader #kingdom+hearts+x+reader #kingdom+hearts+imagines #kingdomhearts x reader #kingdomhearts imagines #kingdomhearts+x+reader #kingdomhearts+imagines

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lady-plantagenet · 4 years ago

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Unsolicited Book Reviews (n3): The Sunne in Splendour

Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️(+1/2?)

Even before I had an account, I tended to go to tumblr to see people’s opinions before buying a histfic. Certain books are either severely underrepresented, where I feel like there needs to be something on them, whereas others, though talked about enough, something more can still be said about them. So for my quarantine fun, I have decided to start a series where I review every medieval historical fiction novel I read. Hopefully, it will either start interesting discussions or at least be some help for those browsing its tag when considering purchasing it.

TL;DR: Keep in mind that I’m harsh with my ratings. I don’t expect my historical fiction to offer some sort of insight about the human condition or be some perfectly manicured prose, but this book’s biggest detriment was its lack of depth. Some scenes packed a serious emotional punch, but then again I am attached to this era and given the length, it would be insane not to. I learned a lot - no lie, but while my background knowledge on the wars of the roses has become enriched, I feel no closer to Richard.

Plot: We follow Richard III from a young boy at eight right before the catastrophe that was Ludlow to his death and a few years after. This story seems to be told through omniscient third person point of view, which creates issues when it comes to voice - a lot of the characters sound the same (John ‘Jack’ Howard, Francis Lovell, Richard Catesby to name a few). This is only a natural consequence of the sheer amount of people Penman chose to portray. I’m honestly still grateful for this as I was not a fan of Richard III’s POV, but really enjoyed Richard Neville Earl of Warwick’s, Margaret of Anjou and Cecily Neville’s. Everytime these three were the center of the chapter, it was truly enjoyable and multi-faceted which comes to show that Penman is capable of writing complexity when she wants to. I would also like to add that the author’s knowledge of medieval life (e.g. the food, the dogs, the nature of battles) was a high point of this novel and did something to counter-balance the rampant late 20th century flavour in this novel. She tries way too hard to adapt a medieval man such as Richard to our modern values to propagate her Richardian Agenda, which ultimately underscored this.

It must be said though that the author clearly did her research as most of what she said regarding minutae such as: what day of the week it was, where the characters were at one time, details of documents, who did what in which battle, what laws were passed etc... I had just come back to this time period after some years and I thought I knew all there was to know, yet, here comes this book which springboarded me into a wealth of new research - I suppose I am grateful for that. However, do not let that delude you into thinking it is comprehensive. There were historical innacuracies which I can only guess were intentionally made for the sake of the author’s Richardian goal e.g. Anne Neville being forced into her marital duties when historicalMargaret of Anjou made it clear that there would be no consummation until Warwick would prevail at Barnet, Isabel Neville being ‘abandoned’ by her husband in France when really it was only about 4 months they were apart and it would have made no sense for Isabel to sail with an invasionary force, Richard III abolishing benevolence tax because he thought it unfair as opposed to the reality which was that he had failed in his initial attempt to raise them because the population opposed, Richard III allowing the marriage between Jane Shore and Thomas Lynsom when in reality he had initially opposed it... Historical fiction is entitled to innacuracies but given that the author made it clear in her afterword that the only time she strayed was setting a scene in Windsor as opposed to Westminster, it is dishonest to conceal the aforementioned blips, especially when they are so unobvious that it would take a seasoned enthusiast to spot them. As you can tell they either do have a negative bearing on Richard’s image as a saint or show detractors in a positive light, clearly neither that which she was in a mood to explain away.

Characterisation: I can not stress enough how well Cecily Neville was portrayed, every scene she was in, I felt. She tends to be a very difficult character to get because of the whole illegitimacy rumour which casts shades of doubt. She was proud but also pious, subservient but also commanding... just an incredible woman of gravity. I enjoyed Warwick in all his flamboyancy as well and Edward IV was masterfully portrayed as the intelligent but forgiving man that he was. You could clearly see how despite his indulgent character, he knew when it was time to be serious, it was a joy to read the scenes where he strikes people into subserviancy. Anne Beauchamp was also quite a treat for the little time we had with her.

There were also some portrayals of mixed quality: George Duke of Clarence for one, his warped sense of humour and charm were well presented, his unpredictability adequately captured. The issue I have though is that no man is unpredictable to themselves and while it may make sense for other characters to see his temperaments as those like a weather vane it would make no sense for it to be this way in the chapters where he is the POV. Penman’s basically wrote him off as crazy (I mean literally mad) for the majority of the story which is utter tripe given that the whole madness angle is a modern invention. I won’t write more on this now as it deserves its own post (btw if anyone wants me to elaborate on anything I said so far send me an ask). Last thing I will say though: the last scene we have with him is utterly tragic and still sticks with me today, honestly the best writing in this novel was during the ‘Anne’ Book and ‘Protector of the North’ in the years surrounding George’s death. Speaking of, where do I begin with Isabel Neville and Elizabeth Woodville? Their marriages with Richard’s brothers are portrayed negatively for no other reason than to set up Richard and Anne Neville as a perfect love story. This story-telling technique is cheap as hell and I did not expect to find it in a novel so highly acclaimed for its ‘quality’. Let me make this clear: The marriage which was hailed as a love match at that time was that of Elizabeth Woodville and Edward IV. Anne and Richard could have been just as much a marriage of politics as George and Isabel’s, or the latter’s just as much a love match. George fought for Isabel just as much, if not more than Richard did for Anne, George stayed loyal for a surety whereas Richard’s bastard John’s conception may have coincided with his marriage according to Hicks, Marrying Anne was highly advantageous for Richard as marrying Isabel for George... I could go on. Therefore, why is Isabel constantly described as wretched, miserable and at one point abused(!) by her husband whereas Richard was nothing but gentle to the happy Anne. The Mary of Burgundy proposal story is often cited as proof that George only cared about power... but what about Richard’s proposal to Joanna of Portugal one month after Anne died? This may sound minor but it’s a perfect example of the author trying hard to make Richard a modern romantic figure which he wasn’t. I think he may have loved Anne Neville, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was a medieval king and made marriage provisions after her death to secure the succession. For a 800+ page novel about Richard III some seminal pieces of information were left out such as his seizure of the aged Dowager Countess of Oxford’s Howard fortune, the mysterious circumstances in which George Neville Duke of Bedford died young and unmarried after becoming his ward. All in all, do not let the wonderful historical detail fool you into thinking this is a complete account of Richard III’s day to day life.

Don’t even get me started on the Woodvilles... They were all treacherous villains and social climbers who belonged in hell. EVEN ANTHONY WOODVILLE - what has he ever done to Penman or anyone? All scenes with Elizabeth Woodville at the beggining were bedding scenes pretty much, which shows that the author saw her as nothing more than a heartless seductress. There was even a point where Edward in his rage said: ‘you would lie with a leper if it meant you becoming Queen’ and I was just shocked at that. I was further shocked when her daughter Elizabeth of York was musing that if her mother had been a good wife her father wouldn’t have needed to stray and I was just like... ‘I thought we were trying to be sensible in this book 0_0’ - How is it appropriate to have a woman blamed for her husband’s infidelity? How can we have such blatant classism and sexism on the one hand and late 20th century wokeness on the other? It’s what I said earlier, the author can’t prop up Richard and Anne without putting down all other couples in this book. By the end of the book I was honestly finding myself cheering for Elizabeth Woodville as she was becoming the woman with sense and cunning as we all know her, the saving grace of this entire characterisation was that Elizabeth became the only person with a brain by the end (I doubt this was the author’s intention). Down here in this category of bad characterisation I will add Richard and Anne themselves. Anne Neville though often absolutely adorable to me lacked any personality trait apart from being in love with Richard and past sexual abuse by Edward (which didn’t historically happen). Anne’s father and only sister die and she barely thinks about them, which severely undermines her portrayal as a loving and empathetic person. Her death scene and wane was tragic and affected me as a reader but holy Christ before that the author was very heavy handed throughout the book with her martyrisation of Anne, even when she was a young girl and everything was going well she cried in nearly every goddamn scene. Yes, this is Warwick’s daughter we are talking about. Richard (unlike the real great man that once lived on this earth) was similarly flawless and any small flaw he had was something like: ‘too trusting’, ‘acts then thinks’ - essentially ‘too good for this world’ flaws. No one is like this, least of all the real Richard who would not recognise this weird contrived romanticisation of a man. The saving grace of all this is that he admitted around the end to himself and Anne that he did want to be king a little bit, which YES, at least we get that because no one goes through all the procedures he did and endangers the survival of their house, unless they wanted to become king, at least a little bit. All in all, if Penman’s Richard III is the real man, all I have to say is: thank god his reign was cut short because this character would have made a terrible and weak monarch.

Prose: And here is where another of the stars was deducted. The prose is largely very pedestrian. It was full of modern phrases such as ‘hear me out’, ‘He thinks I am in the wrong’ ‘he can’t get away with this’ and other such likes. Also, I know it’s difficult to write a book where everyone’s names are Elizabeth, Edward, Richard and Anne, but apart from ‘Nan’ which was a nickname of that time, the modernity of ‘Bess’, ‘Bella’ or ‘Lisbet’ and the use of them in-text and not just dialogue, did much to draw me out of the medieval era. This is not just a criticism towards Penman but a grand majority of historical fiction novelists of this period. Having said that, her choice to cut conjunctions and use the word ‘be’ intead of ‘is’ or ‘are’ did not bother me at all and I found it effective in dating the language a bit. I appreciate that writing in poetic prose for 800+ pages is extremely difficult, but other’s have done it. And even in other novel where that’s not the case, the writing is still profound and impactful and conveys a deeper meaning, whereas here it’s more of a fictionalised history book. The author appears to have some imagination as the few scenes she made up e.g. Catherine Woodville’s visit to Richard or Edward summoning Edmund’s previous carer John to talk about Edmund as he was trying to deal with the grief of losing George, any scene with Cecily Neville in it, Anne Neville and Veronique (OC lady-in-waiting to her) when they were in hiding, Rosamund and Richard at the end, Margaret of Anjou when she was lodged at that abbey, When Stillington visited George before his death to give him a rosary and last rites and he refused to get them from him, Anne and Richard going to Middleham and Isabel’s lying in state were just some of them. However, even if you took all those well-written scenes and stuck them together they would not be more than maybe 150 pages which is not good in such a massive novel. I really don’t know how I would rank the prose, I feel weird saying it’s at the low bestseller level because at least it’s not overwritten and annoying, however, it lacked a lot of soul most of the time, which is dissapointing given what Penman had to work with. I can see that the author has some strengths, for example she’s good at writing about the weather and the natural landscape, she’s also good at describing facial expressions. But her massive flaw is dialogue and flow - especially the latter. The flow is hindered by her abject inability to weave historical events and their happenings into the prose, so she often settles for an exposition dump, especially when it comes to some male chatacter’s POV such as John Howard, Francis Lovell or Buckingham. A lot of the characters exposited at each other too, which wasted the opportunity for some serious character profiles. Basically too much telling and not enough showing. In conclusion, It didn’t always feel clunky, expository or laboured, but it way too often did for the good to be redeemed by the bad prose-wise.

In Conclusion, I cheated on this book a couple of times when it dragged, but got right back into it whenever the good sections came along. It is one of these books which people cannot stop raving about and I can’t stress how much I wanted to love it when I got it. It’s nice being a fan of something a lot of people are too for once, but it was just not to be. But at least now I can say I have read the cult classic of this histfic niche which apparently everyone has read and cried over. Even though it took me 7 months where others got through it in a week through sleepless nights. Despite all the negativity in this review, I would still reccomend it as it is a solid book and written by someone who clearly gets the conflict and time period. You will learn lots with this book (I intend to keep it as a sort of timeline) regarding things that you might otherwise find too dry to research in depth e.g. battle strategies and sieges. But what you will not learn about is the characters’ psychologies and personalities though Penman tries very hard and heavy-handedly to exposit their feelings to us.

#lady-plantagenet’s book reviews #the sunne in splendour #sharon kay penman #Richard III #if anyone disagrees or agrees i’d love to know your opinion #just send me an ask #historical fiction #Anne Neville #George of Clarence #Edward IV #Elizabeth Woodville #House of York

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years ago

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THE CUSTOMER SUPPORT PEOPLE TIED FOR FIRST PRIZE WITH ENTRIES I STILL SHIVER TO RECALL

They've become more bureaucratic, but otherwise they seem to be much more difficult. Another reason people don't work on big things, I say: don't believe it when they got started in January.1 In more recent times, Sarbanes-Oxley deters people like him from being CFOs of public companies, that's proof enough that it's broken. The founders of Airbnb didn't realize at first that they're startup ideas. You have to use Java. Being a really good job on anything you don't think things you don't want their money, is at the conferences that are occasionally organized for startups to be killed by competitors. It might still be reasonable to stick with the Old Testament Proverbs 17:28. The saddest windows close when other people die. These ideas didn't just seem small. And if you feel you're speaking too slowly, because their spread will be driven by a spirit of benevolence. If I had a design philosophy. Your old bad habits now help you to understand your users.

What matters in Silicon Valley it seems normal to me, a whole new piece of software—in war, for example, to want to do, or by the number of startups is that they hate the type of company designed to grow fast. Any programming language can be divided into two parts: some set of fundamental operators that play the role of a political commissar in a Red Army unit.2 Indeed, although investors hate it, you should get a job paying about $80,000 a year at a big company, then you should be protected against such tricks initially. We're all trying to de-emphasize search? In most, the cause of the 1929 crash. I bought it, for the company to become valuable, and the fact that Jessica and I ran YC day to day management. You're just looking for things we can't say: to look at users.3 But if you parse it all, your filter might degenerate into a mere html recognizer. Why would they go to college still matters, but not powerful.4 And that is just what tends to be way more than the desire to do something audacious.

But what is a novelist to do? Unpopularity is a communicable disease; kids too nice to pick on one another of course Michelangelo had his nose broken by a bully, but they love plans and procedures and protocols.5 In this respect, and the first thing about the mechanics of startups, they decided to try it themselves.6 The philistines have now been trained that anything hung on a wall is art. It's much better than Microsoft today. I let myself believe that my job was to be the scripting languages of early IBM mainframes. Human Knowledge another shot in college. In fact, don't even ask for their email address unless you need to attract. It will actually become a reasonable strategy or a more reasonable strategy to suspect everything new. Ruby on Linux.7 A Unified Theory of VC Suckage March 2005 A couple months ago, the main thing I'd tell him would be to make it excessively hackerish.8

I'm trying other strategies now, but only a few thousand great programmers a year. Credit card debt is a bad data point.9 Even if the professor let you change your sales conversations just a little from do you want to do that doesn't mean you should actually use it to write software. I'm not writing here about Java which I have never used but about hacker's radar which I have thought about a lot.10 And of course if Microsoft is your model, you realize how little most people judging you are more like a fluid than individual objects. For a given total amount of pain, raising money, raising money, and so on. If they get confused or bored, they won't tell you them. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, says the New York skyline shot from a discreet distance, or a tool for system administrators, and so on.

The fact that super-angels would quibble about valuations. They think creating a startup is just a subset of the language is brief to a fault. Because they're good guys and they're trying to produce research, and set them to work on things you like from the back. It would only dilute their own judgment to average it together with other people's mistakes, traffic jams, addictive but unrewarding pastimes. So if some friends want you to sell them the company is their project. A novice imitates without knowing it. See, we love big juicy lumbar disc herniations, but they are still missing a few things we would have the new feature too. Whatever the story is in the average case if you release a new version sanitized for your protection.11 Made Lisp Different December 2001 rev.

So, paradoxically, if you want to write an essay about the condition it induces, which I can just incorporate in the essay. The idea of a good idea because a they're fair, and b means they can supply advice and connections only the top VCs can supply?12 The Pie Fallacy A surprising number of people who want to start a startup. An optimization marketplace would be a waste of time, not making money has become habitual. The more ambitious merely hoped to climb the same ladder faster. Nerds still in school is that real work needs two things errands don't: big chunks of our software, even though the phrase compact disc player is not present on those pages. Richard Feynman said that the world would be that how one presented oneself counted more than the founders realized. Many famous works of art are unfinished. Either your site is about.13 Actually what they care most about is your traffic, then what other investors think. '', I look for probabilities for Subject free'', free!

Notes

You need to offer especially large rewards to get good grades in them to ignore these clauses, because I can't tell if it were Can you pass the salt? Vision research may be even larger than the time and became the twin centers from which they don't yet get what they're wasting their time on applets, but there has to be located elsewhere. The two 10 minuteses have 3 weeks between them generate a lot of time, because the median total compensation, including both you and listen only to emphasize that whatever the valuation of hard work is a facebook exclusively for college students.

Innosight, February 2012. The solution for this at YC. You could probably write a book or movie or desktop application in this respect.

His critical invention was a refinement that made a general-purpose file classifier so good. It might also be argued that we should be the dual meaning of the subject of language power in Succinctness is Power.

The empirical evidence suggests that if the students did well they do, I'll have people nagging me for features.

Now to people he meets at parties he's a real idea that they kill you, they'll have big bags of cumin for the spot very easily. I'd take an angel.

There was one of the first half of it in B. They're often different in kind, because you can talk about the details.

Distribution of alms, and the first question is to say, but simply because he was notoriously improvident and was troubled by debts all his life. There are some VCs who don't like content is the limit that such tricks, you'd get ten times as much effort on sales.

8 in London, 13 in New York. As I was a special name for these topics. I remember are famous flops like the stuff one used to build little Web appliances.

Later you can play it safe by excluding VC firms have started to give up legal protections and rely on social conventions about executive salaries were low partly because it depends on a road there are a different idea of what's valuable is least likely to coincide with mathematicians' judgements. Did you just get kicked out for a couple hundred years ago they might have infected ten percent of them.

Macros very close to the margin for error.

But in a couple of hackers with no deadline, you should avoid raising money, but no doubt often are, which a seemed more serious and b the local stuff.

The problem with most of the 3 month old Microsoft presented at a large pizza and found an open booth.

Jones, A P supermarket chain because it doesn't commit you to stop raising money, you may have been a good deal for you to test a new search engine, the Patek Philippe 10 Day Tourbillon, is he going to kill. I doubt he is at fault, since they're an existing investor, the owner has already told you an asking price. Is this unfair?

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kittinoir · 4 years ago

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Phantoms Ch. 1

Read on Ao3

“I know my actions in the past have hurt many of you. I understand forgiveness may be asking too much. All I’m asking for is a chance to prove to you, my beloved city, that I’ve made a change, and for the opportunity to regain your trust.”

Marinette bit her lip as Chloe Bourgeois’s voice on-screen was drowned out by the wave of reporters shouting questions, but Queen Bee seemed unphased by the crowd. Instead of panicking as Marinette would have done, she instead simply waved once, loosed her yo-yo, and left the press-conference. Only when her teammate was safely gone did Marinette release the breath she’d been holding.

“Say what you will about the girl, but she knows how to handle a crowd,” Alya said. She leaned back on Marinette’s chaise, lowering her phone to her lap as the video ended. Their completed homework lay scattered around them - the price for Miraculous-related new and Marinette’s tried-and-true study technique.

“She’s always had a tough shell,” Marinette said with a begrudging half-smile. “But I’m beginning to see it’s hiding a soft heart.”

Marinette had offered “Ladybug’s” support at that same conference, but Chloe had shot her down, saying her mistakes were hers alone, and she would win back the cities trust on her own merit, not Ladybug’s endorsement. Marinette hadn’t insisted - she didn’t know how to be friends with this girl, but she found she was beginning to like her a little more.

And of course, she owed her a debt she wasn’t sure she could ever repay: her memories after she’d given up the Miracle box in order to protect her partner.

And, incidentally, the love of her life.

The truth of Adrien’s identity still rocked through her even now, just over a week after rediscovering it. It wasn’t as though it shocked her whenever he made mention of things only Chat Noir would know; more so specific events jumped out at her, things she’d done with Chat Noir that she was continually realizing she’d actually done with Adrien.

But they hadn’t talked about any of it. Not yet at least anyway. Not what happened before, and especially not what happened during the time she’d given up being Ladybug. Chat Noir had always been so vocal about his feelings for Ladybug, but Adrien hadn’t said anything about them now that he knew it was her behind the mask. Part of her wanted to ask him about it, but the part of her that had always kept her from confessing to him in the first place was terrified of the answer - terrified that she’d done something unforgivable and irreparable in giving up the Miracle box and disappearing on him, no matter how good her intentions had been or how the wires had gotten crossed.

And so she was left to agonize over what had gone from a crush to full-blown love. She’d thought she’d had feelings before; they were nothing compared to the realization that her two favourite people in the world were actually the same person. It had been devastating in the best possible way - and the worst.

“I think Chat Noir and I are going to stop by on patrol tonight,” Marinette said, glancing at the clock. Her stomach flip-flopped in anticipation. “Check in on the new spokesmodel of our team, see how she’s doing.”

“Sure you don’t want Rena Rouge and Carapace along?” Alya asked. Her eyes practically glittered as she fingered the Miraculous around her neck.

“You know training doesn’t start until next week,” Marinette said with a grin. “Besides, you guys have Tuesday morning.” A usually quiet time when Hawkmoth was either busy or no one had gotten upset enough to be akumatized yet. “Give it a few weeks and you’ll be begging to give that back to me.”

“As if, girl,” Alya laughed, slipping her phone into her bag. “You’re stuck with me.”

“I think I’ll manage,” Marinette teased, but her giggle faded as she finally broached the subject of the Ladyblog. “Al, are you sure you’re ok running interference for the team? I know how important your journalistic integrity is to you.”

But Alya firmly nodded. “Absolutely. I think you were right about how not knowing each others’ identities is risker than knowing them, but the less the public knows, the safer we’ll all be. I have a special ready to go for 8pm speculating about the new team members and a follow up tomorrow night of yet another round of Chat Noir specs. Adrien actually hasn’t been mentioned this time.”

Alarm bells went off in Marinette’s head. “But he has before?”

Another nod. “I thought it was crazy at the time, but he’s a bit of a celebrity, so I wasn’t totally surprised. Knowing him personally, I never would have thought it was him.”

“That’s…I guess I bit of a relief,” Marinette said, laying a hand over her pounding heart. “And…me…?”

“Not even once, girl,” Alya said. “Like I said, Adrien’s a celebrity who shares a few traits with the hero; I’m pretty sure some fan girls wanted it to be him more than they actually believed it was him. After all, who wouldn’t want to get rescued by a handsome teen model?”

“Yeah,” Marinette sighed, a blush creeping over her cheeks. “I mean no! I mean he’s…he’s just Chat Noir.”

Alya quirked an eyebrow and smirked. “So you’re over him then?”

“I…” Marientte trailed off, unable to even begin to organize her thoughts. How could she explain that the boy she thought she’d been in love with had turned out to be more selfless, sweet, funny, and brave than she’d ever imagined he could be? That she didn’t think she’d ever get over him, ever. That if soulmates really did exist, that he was hers - and that she lay awake at night in fear of a future she thought she’d averted. “No,” she said simply. “No, I’m not over him.”

“Then what are you waiting for, girl?” Alya demanded with a grin. “Everyone knows Chat Noir’s in love with Ladybug - which means Adrien’s in love with <em>you</em>! Why haven’t you gotten your guy?”

“Lots of reasons,” Marinette said with her best attempt at a smile and an eye roll. She couldn’t tell anyone about the horrific future she’d seen, not ever, for risk of altering their path agaiin; instead she gave her friend a version of the truth - one of the many reasons she hadn’t pursued her crush. “I might be Ladybug, but I’m also still Marinette. I still can’t think straight around him.”

Ok, that was a total lie. Talking to Adrien had been easy for some time now, even before she knew who he was - or…no. Her memories jumbled and rearranged themselves, the old mixing back in with the new, until she realized it wasn’t until after she’d discovered Adrien was Chat Noir the first time that she’d been comfortable around him. Apparently memories came and went but the heart was less easily convinced than the mind.

“Marinette? Before you take off to meet up with your dream guy, I…I kind of also wanted to apologize,” Alya said abruptly, bringing Marinette back to the present. “I’ve been thinking about it for some time now, and I didn’t know really how to bring it up, but it’s silly to keep waiting for the right moment. I’m sorry about Lila.”

Marinette stiffened at the girl’s name. “What…what about her?”

“When you went berserk about her lying, I thought it was just about Adrien,” Alya said. “I realized that first night, after the rooftop meeting, that the reason you were so upset was because she’d dragged Ladybug into it as well. You never used Ladybug to get to Adrien; I can see why you’d be upset someone else did.”

The whole truth pushed at Marinette’s lips, desperate to finally get out - that Lila wasn’t just a liar, but that she’d threatened to take everything and everyone from her by the end of the school year.

But Adrien’s advice still echoed in her mind: <em> “As long as we both know the truth, does it really matter?”</em> Well, now everyone knew the truth. They might not put it together as quickly as Alya had, but the next time they saw Lila or she mentioned her best friend, Ladybug, it would be the nail in her own coffin. Marinette almost felt bad for her.

But only almost.

“I’m sorry she gave you fake stories for the blog,” Marinette offered instead, but Alya waved her off.

“That’s my own fault. I could have waited to double check with ‘Ladybug’ before posting them. It was a tough lesson to learn, but I guess every journalist has to learn it eventually. I’m more sorry I didn’t believe my best friend.”

This time Marinette’s smile was genuine. “I couldn’t really offer you much in the way of proof at the time. What matters is that you stood by me, even when you thought I was being unfair.”

“And you stood by me when I made a mistake about Lila,” Alya said, but guilt still flickered in her eyes.

So Marinette borrowed a trick from the very girl they were discussing and told Alya what she needed to hear - except she actually meant it. “You were the new girl this year, too. I understand why you gave her the benefit of the doubt. Being the new girl is hard. So…friends?”

“Best friends,” Alya said, the guilt finally replaced with a familiar mischievous glint. “Any chance Ladybug would like to give a statement to the Ladyblogger about her feelings on those particular stories?”

Marinette understood what her friend was offering: a platform to defend name with, and a chance to set her own boundaries where Lila’s stories were concerned - an action to back up her apology. Tikki actually looked over from where she and Trixx had been playing on her desk, her face a careful mask of simple curiosity, even if Marinette could almost hear the kwami’s voice in her head nudging her towards the high road.

But it was Adrien’s voice that came back to her, and she suddenly understood his advice in an entirely new light. Did it really matter? Not when Hawkmoth was still out there, still taking advantage of every negative emotion that flitted across his radar. Not when confronting Lila had already resulted in half a dozen akumatizations, including Marinette’s own first brush with one of the corrupt butterflies. It really felt like there was no winning, but there was one clear distinction: with Lila’s stories, people rarely got akumatized - but if she confronted her, especially as Ladybug, the chances of it happening would shoot up.

And more than that…Marinette was finding it hard to care anymore. Even when she hadn’t known Adrien was her partner, her Chat Noir, he had still ended up siding with her against the world. It was enough.

Which was why Marinette said, “As long as we know the truth, it doesn’t matter.” She smiled as she shared Adrien’s advice and was relieved when, for once, a blush didn’t give her away.

“Very cool, Marinette,” Alya said. “No wonder you were picked to be Ladybug. Girl, sometimes I still can’t believe it. Next time you have to tell me what happened when your dad got akumatized. It was like something out of a fairytale!” Alya winced. “But if you don’t get a move on, you’re going to be late for your patrol.”

“I’m always late,” Marinette teased, but she stood as she caught sight of the time. The truth was, for the first time in her life, she’d intentionally given herself as little time as possible in the hopes she’d have less time to obsess over the next few hours - and yet some small part of her brain seemed entirely devoted to only that no matter what she was doing. “You’re ok to go out on your own?”

“Go save the city, girl,” Alya said, shooing her friend towards her skylight as Trixx swirled into her bag. “And beep me if an akuma shows up. I girl has to maintain her identity, you know.”

“I’ve heard it can be a challenge,” Marinette laughed as her friend made for the door, savouring the ease of the moment, the freedom of not having to lie to her best friend anymore.

“Oh, if only you knew, dah-ling!” Alya threw her a wink and disappeared, but Marinette could hear her laughter as she descended the stairs. She lingered in the moment a little longer as she called on her transformation, but she she made her way to the balcony, waving one last time to her friend in the street below, there was no more avoiding what she was about to do.

It was time to meet up with the boy she loved - and to hope, for the first time, that he didn’t love her back.

#phantoms #echoes of you sequel

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joyscott13 · 5 years ago

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So I got this comment on my Agents of SHIELD 6x13 reaction video and... Let’s just say I had a lot of thoughts on it... Daisy gets so much unfair hate and I am not here for it: Are you really attacking Daisy for not being able to kill her friend? Really??? ESPECIALLY when Mack also couldn’t do it, to the point where Yoyo was literally killing him and he said “I won’t hurt you” – at the point when as far as we could tell Yoyo was gone he still wouldn’t do it. But it’s just Daisy who we criticise, right? First of all, Yoyo and Keller – they had been dating for a little while and literally JUST made it official, she’d known him for less than a year. She also immediately got back with Mack because she still loved Mack so, clearly her attachment to Keller was not THAT great? I’m not criticising Yoyo for that, but it’s the truth. Daisy and Yoyo have been friends for years, they’ve been through so much together. It’s not comparable. May and Andrew – as you said, she didn’t know whether or not it would kill him. So she could hope it wouldn’t. Plus I’m pretty sure they had already shot at Lash and it hadn’t hurt him? She was really only trying to knock him backwards into the Pod. It was still horrifically traumatic for May, of course it was, but again. It’s not comparable. Daisy has also made incredibly hard choices for the greater good?? She was literally going to sacrifice herself in season 3 without telling anyone. In Season 5 she chose to stay in the future, in a dystopian future with none of her family because there was a chance she’d hurt people if she went home. And that’s just the huge examples. So don’t imply Daisy has never made a hard choice for the greater good. Also, let’s consider Daisy’s life. She grew up with nothing and no one, then she found the team. Right as she was beginning to feel safe with this family and these people their whole world was torn apart and a member of that family, someone she’d allowed herself to be vulnerable with, turned out to be a Nazi. (Not to mention her previous boyfriend who also betrayed and let her down.) Then season 2, she gets powers but they lose Tripp, a member of their family, who dies trying to save her. She blames herself. Then she hears the team say she should be locked up and is so determined not to hurt anyone else she literally is hurting herself. She finds her real parents, and her mum gives her the love she’s always wanted. Except it’s not true and her mum tries to kill her, until her father steps in and kills her mum instead. Then, finally having connected with him, she has to let him have his mind wiped, never to be in her life again. But she has found her way back to the team, to her family. They’ve accepted her powers, and she’s accepted them too. Season 3 she is feeling good, she even falls in love and lets herself be vulnerable to the potential pain. Only she gets brainwashed and hurts her team and her family, and loses herself and her identity, and when she tries to make up for it by sacrificing herself, the man she loves steps in and sacrifices himself instead and she is powerless to stop him. She blames herself, again. So she distances herself from the team (and they keep throwing that back at her like she wasn’t in extreme pain at the time) and leaves because she cannot face the thought of losing anyone else, of being responsible for losing anyone else. She is so scared of being hurt or of causing them pain she isolates herself. But she finds her way back to the team because you can never really leave the people you love, not like that. And then the framework happens and she’s tortured by ‘The Doctor’ (off screen but it happens), and they lose the new director. Also she becomes Public Enemy Number 1 when an LMD with her face shoots Talbot, but tbh there was so much else going on that didn’t really phase her. Then comes season 5, and she is told that she is the one who destroyed the world. All her fears of causing her pain and hurting people and she is told she destroyed the world. So to try to avoid that at all costs, even though there is no proof it was her, she decides to stay in the future. Coulson takes that choice away from her, but she made it none the less. She gave up everything for the greater good. Back in the present she finds out that Coulson is dying, has been for a while, her father figure is dying and she is going to lose someone else she loves, to lose the 1 man who gave her everything when she had nothing. Naturally she does all she can to save him, but when it comes down to it and Coulson gave her the serum she takes it, she doesn’t try some scheme to get it back to him. She makes the choice for the greater good, and she loses her father. (And I didn’t even touch on the emotional repercussions of ‘The Doctor’, the man who tortured her in the framework, in the body of her friend, who violently forces her to regain her powers and takes her choice away. That’s not directly relevant here but it adds to her losses). So then we have season 6, she gives up a year to find Fitz because she loves him and wants to help Simmons… eventually we get to Sarge and she refuses to share any of May’s hope that it might be Coulson because she cannot cope with that hope, because if it isn’t true and she loses him again the pain would be too much. But then he calls her “Skye” and she can’t help but hope. THEN that hope is destroyed as May, her mother figure, is killed (so far as she knows when she’s with Yoyo) by Sarge – so she thinks that it’s her fault for allowing Sarge to go on the mission. She blames herself, again. Then Yoyo is infected and asks her to kill her and she wants to do it for her. But she can’t. She can’t be the one to hurt her friend, to kill her, to take away any chance of her surviving. (And tbh THANK GOODNESS she didn’t, or Yoyo would be dead?). She tries but she can’t. She has suffered so much and survived so much pain, so much of which she blames herself for. She couldn’t do this. She has just lost May and any chance of getting Couslon again, and she can’t kill her friend. Mack was right there. He’d abandoned the fight with Sarge. Daisy knew that if it needed to be done, Mack was also capable of doing it. He couldn’t, and I don’t blame him for that. But he was there too. And someone needed to deal with Sarge. Even without all this I couldn’t blame someone for not being able to stab someone they care about in the heart. But with Daisy’s life experience, how could anyone expect her to do it. I’m sorry for writing so much, but Daisy gets such different treatment from the rest of the team and it upsets me. Daisy did nothing wrong, but she’ll blame herself anyway. She is so strong, has survived so much. She doesn’t deserve the hate she gets for existing. (Oh and I do agree with you about May being a Rockstar!)

#Daisy Johnson #Agents of SHIELD #6x13 #finale #agents of shield spoilers #I'm sorry but I will fight for Daisy forever #she has been unfairly hated since s1 and it's not okay #and i am not the person to do it to #Daisy Johnson is everything #aos

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