#it makes me want to go back and start taking classes again but i just do not have the time/money for that
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natsredbra · 3 days ago
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Tough graded
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summary: Lottie thinks you’re mean - repeated tutoring sessions and a party proved her wrong!
pairing: Lottie Matthews x fem!reader
a/n: i hate this lowk but that happens with all my other stuff anyway soo
warnings: angst at the end, none other (mostly fluff and lesbian yearning)
word count: 3.5k
taglist: @towabirdno1fan, @minariiis, @feralnataroni, @lesbabe6, @radioactivesweet, @flurpe ,@ashliami, @johnnytoothpick @ikeepgettinglostwithchairs, @wompingburg
Lottie Matthews was a sweetheart. Everyone knew it. She was a popular girl, at least in a sense that everyone knew her. To be honest, she didn’t have many close friends, most of them being people she simply hangs out with.
Then there was you. You were just another student in Wiskayok High, with an average life, average home and average friend group. You were also familiar with Lottie, having being the first person she talked to once she moved from New York.
It was freshman year, and you’d never seen her before, her tall, seemingly confident appearance intimidated you a little. Somehow, you rubbed her up the wrong way that day and since then, she kept her distance. You didn’t notice it or pay much mind to her, but you always felt like she avoided you.
———————
“Settle down, class. We’re about to start.” Your chemistry teacher called out, preparing for the lecture as she attempted to calm a classroom of noisy teenagers down.
You sat in your admittedly uncomfortable chair, doodling in your notebook. At this point, it was as if the clock was going backwards. Ms Greene was in her own world, explaining something that might as well have been in chinese. Did I mention you don’t know dick about chemistry? And who could blame you, it’s not like any of this is actually important in the real world.
Fiddling with the sleeve of your shirt, your mind wandered. You remembered you had leftover sandwich from your lunch, and were eager to eat it on your break. You also tried to come up with a plan on how to convince your parents to let you go to Jackie Taylor’s party on Saturday. But just as you were planning the dialogue, your teacher spoke something you deemed more significant.
“So I graded your tests, you mostly did okay. Shauna - kudos, the only 100.” The professor spoke, and you knew exactly what was to come.
“Y/N, come see me after class.” She said, looking at you through her glasses. There it was.
You dreaded the moment but once the bell rang, instead of exiting the classroom and getting your paper on your way out, you stayed back, waiting. It was like a walk of shame at this point.
“You wanted to see me?” You inquired dreadfully.
“Yes, I did. I take it you know why?” The woman said, sounding disappointed. Why would she be fucking disappointed, she’s not your mother!
“Guess so.”
“You got exactly 38%. Now, I’m wondering why that is? You told me you tried harder, you said you understood the curriculum.” She exclaimed, handing you your exam. Lots of the color red.
“I know! But it’s like whatever I study never shows up!” You defended, clutching your backpack.
“Well I’d hate to see you fail. So that’s why I thought of something else. Tutoring. I think it’d be very beneficial for you, a peer could provide an easier explanation.” Ms Greene said as if she discovered warm water, making you internally roll your eyes. “And I have just the perfect girl for it.” She continued.
Before you could protest, or say anything really, you could hear the door open again.
“You asked to see me?” Lottie Matthews, in all her glory said once she walked in. “I’m sorry I missed class today there was this-“ She started before the teacher cut her off.
“No, no. I know the situation, it’s perfectly fine. I wanted to talk to you about tutoring your friend from class here. She needs all the help she can get, and frankly I think you’d be perfect for it.” She explained and you were baffled with the implied insult.
Lottie on the other hand looked like her cat just got shot.
“Um- I just don’t know if I’d be right for that.” She said with an insecure tone, which was dismissed.
“No, as I said- after Shauna you’re the best in class, and god knows that girl has a lot on her plate. Thank you for your help, miss Matthews.” Greene said, leaving no room for argument on Lottie’s side.
You felt awkward. The tension was eating you alive and you weren’t even sure why there was any as you two stood, looking everywhere but each other.
“You’re both dismissed.”
“Right.”
———————
The library felt suffocating with how quiet it was. People your age all around you, focusing on their studies just as you did, though they made it seem so effortless.
Lottie sat across from you, reading a book for her english class that you didn’t catch the name of as you answered some homework questions.
“I don’t get this.” You said in an annoyed tone, making her raise her head in uncertainty.
“Well that’s why I’m here. What can I help with?” She asked with a sweet smile. Overdo, much?
“This. None of these structures make sense and they all look the same!” You complained, louder than one could in there which earned you a dirty look from the librarian.
“What do you mean though? It’s pretty logical, this one is connected with this carbon cause-“ Lottie started, getting a bit closer to you to see the paper properly. That was, until she noticed you seemed entirely uninterested in what she had to say.
“Are you listening? I’m trying to help you.” She asked in that tender tone that always laced her voice. Lottie was very hard to truly piss off.
You felt kind of bad when you noticed how genuine she seemed, it almost melted all your rough walls down. Once you looked up at her you were met with big, rich brown eyes that glowed in the golden colored afternoon sun. Her lips rested in a slight, disappointed pout as she fiddled with the pencil between her fingers.
“Sorry. Yeah, show me.” You apologized with a sigh, leaning forward to better see what she was speaking of.
Lottie gave you a small nod and smile, really showing off those rosy cheeks. Well she was beautiful, but who didn’t know that already?
You really did try your best to pay attention to whatever she was saying, she did put her all into it. But it was difficult, after her hand brushed with yours when handing you an eraser, or when she flashed you a big, toothy smile every time you got something right.
Okay, okay. You’ve had a crush on Lottie Matthews for ages, so what? What wasn’t there to like? She was smart, athletic, nice and so damn cute. But it’s not like she’d ever notice you. You simply weren’t in her league.
What did Lottie think though? She thought you hated her. Thought you were rude and arrogant. You never spoke to her unless it was a grunt that passed as a reply even though you cross paths so often. You avoided her like a plague when it came to seating arrangements in class. Once, you wouldn’t even let her have a cigarette.
But this all felt different to you both. To Lottie, she thought you finally broke the ice - she savored the sweet voice you used in a sentence like a bottle of good, fancy wine. And you learned she might not have been so out of reach after all.
The session you had stretched on, and once you finally understood some of the schoolwork you needed to do, your conversation bent into something more casual. Getting to know her was nice.
She told you about how her parent’s divorce affected her. You learned she, quite begrudgingly, went to her dad’s at New York every two weeks. She also said that her favorite kool aid flavor was Black Cherry, and her favorite candy bar was a snickers.
“So, when should we meet up next?” Lottie asked as the talk slightly died down.
“Well tomorrow is fine by me. We have that test on Friday.” You replied, packing your books again.
“Oh, sure! You know, you can come to mine. Might be less distracting.” She offered with a tinge of hope that you did not catch onto. You just thought of the fact that you were about to go to Lottie Matthews’ house. A nice one, you’ve heard.
“Okay, yeah. Let’s go to your place.”
—————
See this is how you found yourself in this situation. God knows you were too afraid to talk to her, yet your questionable chemistry grades brought you together and that is why you were right there, standing in front of her house and too antsy to ring the doorbell.
However you couldn’t stand here and hope she got a radio signal about your presence, so you did. Not a moment later, a chipper Lottie as usual, answered the door.
“Hi! I’m glad you found the house. Kinda on the down low.” She said, moving from the doorframe to let you in.
You gave her a small “yeah” as you entered. Not only was it on the down low, it was gorgeous too. Very expensive and high end furniture, paintings that seemed like they could belong in the Louvre. Though the prettiest thing there was Lottie.
She might’ve had her hair in a messy braid, wearing a striped white and pink shirt with a pair of gray sweatpants, but she still made it look cool and classy.
“Balls.” You muttered as your eyes landed on an immense, glistening chandelier in the middle of her living room.
“Oh, my mom bought that when we got the house to piss off my dad and drain his bank account.” Lottie said way too casually, “Let’s go to my room.”
As you followed her upstairs you tried your best not to let your eyes rake over her lean from, but it proved to be hard. She really did look good - and it checks out, she’s a soccer player!
You wondered how strong her legs must’ve been, she could definitely trap you under-
“I’m sorry for the mess, the maid is coming later today.” Lottie said apologetically, tossing some clothes from her bed for you to sit on.
Her room was much different from the rest of the house and resembled Lottie herself. Girl band posters all around, a floral bedding, and photos of her soccer squad scattered all across her room.
“This is cool. I like the little bee.” You said, picking up one of the frames your gaze landed on. A picture of her and Jackie Taylor warmly smiling to the camera with a bunch of team spirit makeup.
“Oh, thanks! I just took that one about a week ago, I like keeping stuff like that.” She said, coming up behind you to take a look herself.
Right now, you could smell her perfume. Something sweet, vanilla and roses maybe - casually on her, as if it were part of her skin.
She slowly walked back to the bed, patting the spot next to her as she got her textbooks out.
You waltzed over there too, hugging your knees to your chest as she sorted everything.
“Can I ask you something first?” Lottie blurted, looking up at you with an unsure expression- made your chest flutter a bit.
“Of course.” You simply replied as you fiddled with the sheets under you.
“Did you like- hate me or something?” She asked with a nervous giggle, obviously a bit flustered.
“What, no I- wait, why would you think that?” You questioned back very invested, turning to her fully and bringing your knees to your chest. She repeated your action.
“It’s just…since we met, there’s been this weird thing between us both. I don’t think I did anything, but if I’m wrong, you can tell me.” Lottie spoke softly, voice sweet as honey as she hugged her knees.
“You didn’t. I was just being an ass.” You admitted, suddenly feeling a bit stupid for how you treated the girl. She obviously didn’t deserve that.
In fact, let’s take a quick look onto the day you met her.
~ You sat in a stuffy classroom full of people you went to middle school with just a couple of months ago, feeling the light breeze that the window cast.
It was a bit much, all the pre class yelling at eight in the morning along with the wind slapping your face repeatedly, but you pushed through it. When you raised your head, you saw something that was quite interesting. Which was rare for freshman year of high school.
A taller brunette speaking to your teacher that checked her schedule before nodding her head, likely a “you’re in the right place” signal. The girl she talked to wasn’t hard on the eyes either.
Oh shit, your seating mate wasn’t in here! She was definitely gonna seat her with you. How are you supposed to talk to such a hot girl again? Okay, now you’re just overthinking it, she could be nice.
“Hiya!” She cheered once she sat down, extending a hand, “I’m Charlotte. Everyone calls me Lottie though.”
You took the hand she put out, saying your own name sheepishly.
“Um…are you in any clubs or sports teams?” She asked, clearly trying to make conversation. Though it wasn’t clear to you.
“No.”
“Oh okay! Well- shit, I hope I’ll catch up with all the studying. New York is different with this stuff.” Lottie spoke, though you didn’t dare meet her eye. You might’ve passed out.
Somehow, what she said sounded weird to you. Maybe a little entitled? But she didn’t seem the type. That was, until you caught eye of the watch she wore. Was it real fucking gold? Likely. This girl was so out of your stratosphere.
“I think you’ll be fine.” You replied with a tight lipped, unwelcoming smile. Really, you didn’t mean for it to come off that harsh.
All she could do was sit in silence. She pissed you off already, somehow. Great work Lott! Was it even possible to make an enemy before a friend in a brand new school? Apparently. And anyway, her dad was her biggest one so it wasn’t such a foreign concept to her.
~ ”I understand.”
“Huh?” You inquired further, a tad confused and spaced out.
“I understand, trying to protect yourself for any reason. I get it.” She said again in that quiet tone which made you always want to pull her in for a deep, soul lacing kiss.
“Thank you.��� You whispered as your eyes beheld hers. There was a sempiternal longing in them, something you’d never seen in anyone else.
“I don’t know why, but I really get you. I feel like…I know what’s going on with you, even though I don’t. We should definitely keep hanging out.” Lottie proclaimed happily, her voice still low.
You could see it in her eyes, that she was telling the truth. That she was genuine. You could see everything in her eyes. She could not hide or shy away from you.
“Me too. I feel the same way.” You said in a smoky tone.
She moved a bit closer, slightly forward until your knees touched. Just as she was about to speak again, there was a knock on her door.
“Lottie sweetheart?” A woman called out, likely her mother. She didn’t wait for an answer before pushing the door, and Lottie jumped as if electrocuted.
“Hey! We were just-“ She started, sitting flat on the bed and keeping her hands in her lap.
Mrs Matthews took a look around the room, then a long one at you.
“Go on. What were you doing?” She asked, her tone bordering on accusatory.
“This is my tutee mom. We were studying.” Lottie rushed, pointing to the books next to the two of you as if to make a point.
“Right. So, what did you need help with?” Lottie’s mother honeyed, turning towards you. Her lips curved in a smile, though it made you feel a certain unease.
“Chemistry. Ms Greene put us together.” You wheezed out, trying to ignore the slight charge in the air.
“Wonderful. Dinner’s at six. Let me know if your friend is staying.” And with that she left the room, leaving you with both of the previous and brand new tension.
“So should we start-“
“Are you coming to Jackie’s thing on Saturday?” Lottie asked, hugging her knees yet again.
“If my parents let me, yeah.”
“Good. Try to be there, okay?”
—————
Yeah, of course that’s how you ended up there. Since you did amazing on your test the previous day, with the luxury of Lottie’s help of course, you were able to persuade your parents into letting you go.
That’s why you’re now grabbing a glass of absolutely horrid spiked punch in Jackie’s glamorous kitchen, with an attempt to calm your nerves.
You’d only gotten to the party - maybe half an hour ago? And you definitely still weren’t buzzed enough to talk to Lottie.
There she was, in all her glory, wearing a slip dress to a fucking high school party. A purple one with her hair down and in its natural wave.
The shoes she wore were her signature doc martens with which she’d likely be buried in. In one hand rested a solo cup, filled with either the god awful liquid you drank or beer. Between her middle and pointer finger was a lit cigarette.
She looked entirely dazzling in the dimly lit room, filled with escapades of sin and Lottie’s silfira. Or that’s how you saw it in your reverie at least.
She surveyed the room for you as if no one else was there, mouthing you a “hi” as the guy next to her, some kid from her history class, continued to talk her ear off.
Politely she excused herself, leaving him bewildered as she walked over to you.
“How are you?” Lottie asked over the loud speakers, leaning onto the island next to you as she offered you a drag of her cigarette.
“I’m okay. Little bored though.” You said, sipping your drink again.
“Well we have to fix that don’t we?” She exclaimed in her usual chipper tone, moving over to face you. You could smell smoke, alcohol and cherries on her lips, since she stood so close to you.
“Do we?” You pondered jokingly, or not. Her idea of fun was likely something you’d regret in the morning, in terms of embarrassment at least. She was quite intoxicated too.
“Yes, we do! You know, I’ve never seen you dance.” Lottie teased, running the rim of her cup over her bottom lip.
“That’s because I don’t! Especially not here.” You interjected, gazing around the place.
“Oh come on! Dancing is fun, okay? I’ll even do it with you.” Lottie practically begged, gawking at you with those pouty eyes no one has ever said no to.
Fuck it. A month ago you’d give anything to dance with Lottie Matthews. Better yet, to be noticed by Lottie Matthews. This was a one time opportunity and you couldn’t let yourself pass it up because of slight insecurity and anxiety.
“Let’s go.” You muttered, downing the rest of your drink. Once you did, Lottie cheered a little, grabbing your hand and dragging you to the dance floor.
Her balter made you feel slightly better about your own moves, or better yet the lack of thereof. She let her hands wander, pressing her chest against your back as she trailed your abdomen to the beat. You could only follow her movements and remind yourself how to breathe here and there, of course.
She was warm and inviting against you, making your hips move with ease. Everything was easy around her. She was amazing to talk to, talk about. You decided to try your luck, moving around and pressing your chest against hers.
She seemed as surprised and as happy with the action as you were. The charge between you was inevitable and couldn’t go unnoticed.
Just as you wrapped your arms around her neck, there seemed to be a shift. Something in her eyes - those that were like a book for you to read, something overcame them.
She jolted away slightly, making you stumble back.
“Lottie, what’s wrong?” You yelled out over the obscene noise.
“I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” Lottie stammered, you couldn’t hear her but you read her lips well enough.
She gave you one more mordant look before scurrying off, pushing past the drunk teenagers as she left you behind. Turned around five times to check on where you were as well.
But you? You stood there in absolute shock. All the booze you consumed made your mind hazy, and you could barely believe what was happening. For a whole week, there had been a “will they won’t they” vibe between the two of you and what? Now she just runs off?
No, this was your fault. Your fault for making yourself believe and hope for a person you always knew was out of reach, untouchable for you, even. Lottie must’ve been embarrassed of you, that had to be it.
Anyhow, for a moment you stood there all alone, mean, unwelcome tears burning in your eyes as your whole body felt numb - other than the pounding headache that started to wash over you. How did it come down to this?
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frequentlykit · 2 days ago
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Helping Hand - Bang Chan
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Bang Chan x fem!reader
Warnings: None
Genre: Fluff
WC: 1.4k
Summary: While on a work trip to Japan you run into a familiar producer.
A/N: this is my first original fic so please be kind, hope you enjoy! let me know if you have any requests or suggestions. i'll hopefully be posting more and maybe i'll figure out how to make a masterlist at some point.
- kit <3
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You weren’t much for flying but when your company asked you to join a work sponsored trip to Japan you couldn’t help but jump on it. Though you’d been working in Seoul for almost a year, you’d never been able to find the time to travel out to Tokyo. And having the whole trip paid for by the company made it even better.
Though they hadn’t splurged for first class tickets, you’d never sat in business class before, not even on your flight to Seoul when you’d first moved there.
You found your seat quickly, a middle seat, wonderful. But as the plane filled up you realized you lucked out and got the whole row to yourself, though it being a red eye flight might have something to do with it.
Now, you weren’t afraid of flying, but you weren’t exactly a fan either. Particularly when it came to take off and landing.
As the plane taxied away from the gate you got comfortable in your seat, putting on your headphones and playing some music hoping to distract yourself from takeoff. You squeeze the armrests as the plane rises and falls before eventually reaching cruising altitude.
Having settled down a little from takeoff, you take the time to look around the plane cabin. A particular passenger catches your attention, black beanie, black sweatshirt, black sweats and sneakers. Though it wasn’t his outfit that caught your attention, it was his face. You’d know it anywhere, you were certain that Bang Chan was sitting in the row across from you, working on his laptop.
At first, you didn’t know what to do. You didn’t want to bother him but you wanted to say something.
“Hey Chris.” You were thankful he didn’t have his headphones on right at that moment because he looked up, turning towards you.
You smiled awkwardly and waved, “Sorry to bother. I just wanted to say I’m a big fan.”
He returned your smile, about as brightly as you’d expect from someone on a red eye flight, “Hi. What is your name?”
“Y/N.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“What is bringing you to Tokyo? It’s not a SKZ thing is it? Though I suppose you’re probably not supposed to tell me if it is.” You laugh quietly at yourself.
“No, it’s just me. We have a week break and I wanted to get out of Seoul. I was going to go to this spa resort Hyunjin told me about for a few days.”
You gasp softly, “You? Taking a break? Who are you and what have you done with Bang Chan?”
He chuckles, “Haha, very funny-” as he was about to continue the person next to him slumped over onto his shoulder. He jumps, turning towards the man and slowly pushing him back to his own seat.
You bite your lip, hesitating before speaking up, “Do you… do you want to join me?”
He looks back over at you and his millisecond of hesitation makes you overthink.
“You don’t have to! I just, I wasn’t trying to- I have more room and you… you don’t have to…” You trail off.
“I appreciate the offer…” he smiles genuinely. “I don’t want to impose.”
“You’re not, I promise.” You wave him over, “I’ve got the whole row.”
He glances between your empty row and his full one, both people beside him sound asleep. You wave him over once again.
He glances down the aisle, making sure the stewardesses are busy, and quickly grabs his backpack and laptop before sliding into the aisle seat next to you.
“I can move over if you want more space.” You offer, already starting to shift to the window seat.
“No, no, you don’t have to move.” He shakes his head, pushing his backpack under the seat and setting his laptop on the tray table.
You can’t help but steal a glance at the screen, seeing that he’s working on song a demo.
“Trying to get a sneak peak?” Chris teases.
You sit back, blushing, “Sorry, couldn’t help it. It’s not like I understand what any of it means...”
“Do you want to listen?” He asks.
“You’d let me?” You raise your eyebrows in surprise.
“It’s a pretty rough demo at the moment and there’s no vocals so I don’t see the harm in letting you hear it,” he holds out his headphones.
You smile, taking them and placing the headphones over your ears. Chris rewinds the track and presses play. It wasn’t what you had expected, much slower, almost sensual. It reminded you of Red Lights a little bit. You could hear where the melody would go and couldn’t wait to find out what the lyrics would be, though knowing Chris it could be years before this song was finished and released fully.
The song ends and you take off the headphones, handing them back to him, “I like it, it’s very you.”
“I think it fits with our style.” He nods.
“I meant you specifically.”
“Me?”
You nod, “Mhm.”
“Why me?”
“You have a very particular… sound, especially for your solo songs.”
“Do I?” He laughs.
“It’s very distinct.” You grin.
“Good to know," he nods, "So, tell me about you.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Why are you heading to Japan?”
“Work trip.” You answer simply.
“What do you do?”
“I’m a photographer.”
“That’s cool, what will you be photographing in Tokyo?”
“I work for a large marketing company and they need pictures of an event they are holding in the city.”
“Very cool.”
Before you knew it, two hours had passed and the captain came over the intercom saying that they were going to begin their descent. Chris started to put away his laptop as you buckle your seatbelt.
You felt your stomach drop as the plane slowly lost altitude and instinctively grabbed for the arm rest, unfortunately for you, Chris already had his arm on it, meaning you grabbed his hand. You pull away quickly, feeling a blush heat your cheeks as you apologize.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- I just don’t like-”
He cuts off your ramble by taking your hand and squeezing it tightly in his, “Squeeze as hard as you need to.” He smiled gently.
You looked at him, you were surprised but also not at all because this was completely in character for Chris. You were about to say something stupid when the plane dropped again and you sat back in your seat, squeezing his hand hard as you gripped the other arm rest.
The plane landed on the airstrip, Chris didn’t say a word as you continued to hold his hand until the seatbelt sign was turned off. You gathered your things and walked silently off the plane with Chris trailing behind you.
Once you were at the gate you stepped to the side, Chris following suit.
“Uh, thank you… for that. I really appreciate it.”
“Happy to help, a few of the guys don’t really like flying either so I’m used to it.”
“This, uh, this is kind of awkward but can I ask you to sign something? It’s been really cool hanging out with you and I… I don’t know, I want something to remember it by.”
He laughs softly, “As long as you swear I won’t see it on eBay in a few days.”
You giggle, “Cross my heart.”
You pull out the notebook you carry with you and hand it to him with a pen.
“No photocard?” He teases.
“I… I didn’t bring any with me…” You look away as the blush returns to your cheeks.
“I’m just teasing.” He says as he starts to write in the notebook.
He took longer than you expected but after a minute he closes the notebook and hands it back to you, “I would ask for something from you to remember this by but I think the nail imprints on the back of my hand will suffice.”
“I did not grip your hand that hard,” you reach out without thinking and take his hand, inspecting it for marks.
As you let go and look back up at him you see him smiling fondly at you.
“Oh, sorry, I wasn’t thinking-”
He shakes his head, silencing you, “You think too much, sweetheart. You didn't do anything wrong. Maybe I’ll see you around.”
You both wave and he walks off, leaving the airport as you head to baggage claim.
As they find somewhere to sit and wait for your luggage, you open the notebook and find where Chris had signed.
Y/N Thanks for hanging out with me, hopefully I’ll see you around ❤︎ Bang Chan XXX - XXXX use it wisely ;)
He didn’t…
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Part 2
don't forget to like and reblog, hope you enjoyed it <3
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dexxtrosee · 12 hours ago
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Neverending battle
Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x reader
TW: mentions of canon character death, mass casualty event, grief, PTSD, lockdowns
Robby's sitting outside on the steps when you get home.
You reel back slightly, unsure. He has his head between his hands, taking deep breaths with his eyes closed. He's not dirty, still wearing the same cargo pants and black scrub top he left with in the morning. The face full of grief isn’t new either.
There's added weight to his shoulders though, you can see it. It’s almost like he’s doing an effort to stay upright against a crushing weight pushing him downwards, unsure of if he even wants to anymore.
You try your best to get closer without making a sound, slow steps and controlled breathing. His hands clench slightly.
"Jake's girlfriend died on me today."
You freeze.
"Remember I told you I'd give him the tickets so he could go with the girl he told us about? Her name was Leah," his voice breaks when he says her name, "I got to see her alive and happy through a call, and a few hours later I was covered in her blood and she was dead right in the middle of the ER."
You had seen the news, had called him a hundred times before it got through and Dana had answered. He talked to you five, ten seconds maybe, just to tell you to call Jake, to tell you he loved you, that he'd get home late. A watery chuckle was what he got back, and a 'be safe'. They had both sounded wrecked in that controlled way you knew so well, Robby had mastered it ages ago.
Which is why you don’t really know what to do with what’s pouring out of him right now. He hasn't moved, hasn't looked up at you, talking to the floor with his backpack by his side. He never tells you anything, never talks about what eats him alive and wakes you up when he starts crying at midnight.
He can talk about the funny, quirky cases, not with any other details but the fun ones. The girl who broke his arm trying to see how far she could jump, the boy who had a condom stuck inside, the teacher who had an accident in class and had been sneezing glitter for two days.
A month ago he got home laughing his ass off because a bunch of teenagers had gotten to the Pitt in a blind panic from their tongues being blue without "apparent reason", fearing the worst.
They just got high off his asses with a blue brownie and didn't remember, he kept saying, tears streaming down his face from laughing too much. It had made you so happy to see him like that, so carefree and finding something nice at work for once.
The man sat in front of you is a whole different person.
Your mind unhelpully supplies that Leah must have been around those teenagers' age.
"I broke inside the ped's room after Jake told me it was my fault, a-and it is, right? It is. Over a hundred people saved and I let my- I let Jake's girlfriend die."
Irrational anger flames inside your chest.
He's just a boy, you know.
He didn’t see Robby five years ago, though. Didn't spend months having to see him through the car window only, with dark circles around his eyes and thinner than ever. He has no clue about the first time he came back home and woke you up with his retching inside the bathroom, or the way he got paranoic for days and cleaned every single surface again and again. The blind panic that would show up on his face when you so much as sneezed, how he bought packs of facemasks that haven’t run out to this day.
But he’s just a boy, you know. And you know that you would hate anyone too if they were somehow even remotely capable of saving Robby and he died anyway, no matter how crazy it would be. Grief isn’t rational.
"I don't think we're gonna be seeing Jake anytime soon, babe. Sorry."
And he says it just like that, like that boy hasn’t been the shine in his eyes for years.
You sit down next to him, pulling one of his hands away from his head and clutching it between yours. He lets you, but doesn’t move otherwise.
"I think just us two will be fine for a while."
Not like you have any option, but still, he chuckles. "You think?"
Shrugging, you bury yourself into his side, ignoring how tight his entire body feels. You wonder if, this time, it was Jack the one who had to go up and talk. It makes you pull him closer.
"You sayin' I'm not fun enough for you now? Want me to go around pulling odd shit again, like when we first met?"
Finally, he turns slowly and kisses the top of your head. His body trembles slightly, adrenaline rush wearing off. You don’t dare mention it.
"As if I'd need anything else."
You smile.
You'll pressure him into going to therapy tomorrow, again. You're not sure if you should be relieved or worried sick at the fact that your chances at winning seem better this time around, not like the hundred times before.
"Whatever you need, Robinavitch."
You stay outside until his shaking calms down, and let him cry himself to sleep with his head on your chest.
In the morning, he finally agrees.
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multi-stays · 21 hours ago
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Wanna Ride?
Paring: Popular!Jeongin X Nerd!Male!Reader
Genre: Smut / 18+ MDNI
Summary: As the nerd of your school, attention isn't something you're used to until the popular guy takes an interest in you.
Requested: Yes
My Pookies: @dis-trict9 @lezleeferguson-120 @sanriomilk
Warnings: Oral Sex, Teabagging, Mentions of Weed, Swear Words
Proofread: no
Popularity was stupid in your mind. The whole reason to go to school was to get good grades, get into a good college, and eventually get a good job. But to some school was just another place to be the best or most popular person, especially Jeongin. He didn't really care a whole lot about his grades, in fact he was failing most of his classes. But he was still the most popular guy at your school.
He drove a motorcycle, wore leather all the time, smelled expensive, and ate these blue gummies almost all the time. There wasn't a moment in the day he didn't have one hanging out of his mouth and it drove you crazy.
He could have anyone in the school, be friends with anyone he wanted, do anything he wanted, and almost always get away with it cause everyone would back him up.
~
You sat in your chair, listening quietly to the teacher when a crumbled-up note was dropped on your desk. Looking up you noticed Jeongin walking to his seat behind you and his friends laughing as they all stared at you.
The teacher was turned towards the class and always called on you to answer his questions that he knew you could easily answer. You decided to leave the note where it was so you wouldn't get in trouble and sure enough the teacher called your name.
After the teacher dismissed everyone Jeongin walked up to your desk and picked up the crumbled piece of paper after you had left. He didn't understand why you didn't read it and walked to where he thought he could find you.
His thick black boots echoed through the halls as the chains dragged the floor and everyone cleared a path for him to walk through. A blue gummy dangled out of his mouth as he gave a stare that said “yes, I'm in charge.”
No one knew why he was so popular with the exception he was super hot.
His presence made everyone silent and the loud sound of student chatter stopped as he approached you at your locker. He stopped in front of you with a squeak of his boot against the floor and let out a soft scuff. He finished the gummy in his mouth that turned his tongue bright blue and tilted his head to catch your attention.
“Do you think that's funny?” he said tapping your shoulder. “Embarrassing me in class like that wasn't nice, but you looked cool” he said with a toothy grin.
“I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about,” you said unsure why Jeongin the popular guy in class who was notably more handsome up close was talking to you.
He scuffed again and laughed, placing a hand on your cheek. Seeming you knew nothing about him, regardless of how handsome he was you pushed his hand off and walked away. You were slightly uncomfortable and his popularity didn't make it ok.
~
Some time had passed and Jeongin couldn't stop thinking about you. Every class he went to, every time he sat down or had a moment to think, his head and thoughts were only filled with you.
He'd never been pushed away and he wanted to know what made you so special. What made you immune to his charm and have no interest in him at all? The chase made him like you more and it humbled him to know some people didn't care about popularity.
He knew he had one more class with you and this was his chance. If he messed it up this time he'd have to wait longer or possibly not do it at all, which made him anxious.
When he walked into the room he couldn't spot you and he started to panic. Perhaps he had just thought he had another class and actually didn't. But he had no time to think with the teacher scolding him for staring into the abyss and not taking his seat.
The class was the same, boring, and of course, they had to write a six-page essay on some guy who didn't matter to Jeongin in the slightest. The only person that mattered was you and he was determined to catch you.
When the teacher dismissed the class this time Jeongin bolted for the door, making sure he was the first one out so he could watch and see if you were in there like he thought.
A flood of other students came out, some greeting him, others chatting and making their way to leave school. His anxiety rose as everyone seemed to be out of the room then he spotted you. You still had some things you wanted to write down and you didn't like the crowd so you waited till everyone left to get up.
You swung your backpack over your shoulder and grabbed your folder to head for the door. Upon reaching it, you were met with a subtle tap on your shoulder taking you away from the thoughts you were lost in whilst walking.
When you saw it was Jeongin a frown instantly came across your face even though it was hard to hold up.
“Just two minutes of your time, please” he said with a fake pout. He was super hot and you had an enormous crush on him like anybody else would so you agreed to talk to him in another room.
He dragged you to a section of the school that was under renovation and had no cameras. It was missing walls and looked like it hadn't been touched in quiet a long time.
“What is this place?” you asked sitting down on a half decent chair that was in the middle of the room.
“I come here sometimes to smoke weed or just get away. Don't worry no one comes here ever. I think they forgot about it or something.”
He leaned up against the wall beside you and crossed his legs. “I simply want to know why you don't like me. I rarely have a thing for anybody but you're too fucking cute not to have a crush on.”
He said it so nonchalantly and that made you more nervous. If you were hearing this right the most popular guy in school, that you have a huge crush on has a crush on you.
You didn't know what to say as you nervously adjusted the tie around your neck. Your palms got very sweaty and you knew your face was red like a tomato.
He walked over to you and hooked his finger under your chin so your eyes would meet his. They were even more gorgeous up close with the way he stared into your soul. They had this glint in them and they narrowed out making him look like a sexy fox. You swallowed your spit hard hoping he wouldn't notice but it didn't matter. He leaned into you hesitantly and kissed you slowly. The soft feeling of his lips against yours felt amazing and you were happy you could say he was your first kiss.
You felt a steady hand undoing your belt and to say you weren't scared would be a lie. The kiss was getting heated as you started moaning into his mouth from the subtle rubs and touches to your penis. He rubbed your length through your thin underwear and chuckled when you bucked up into his hand.
“Getting hard aren't ya. Don't be so tense Baby, let loose ok?” he said it like it was a question but he didn't stop to let you answer. He placed a few more kisses down your neck as he pulled your underwear down and wrapped his lips around your hard penis.
He had so much spit collected in his mouth cum and lube was not necessary. He coated you evenly in his saliva with his blue tongue and bobbed his head on your dick giving you your first blow job.
It felt wrong to you to be doing this on school property but it felt too good to tell him to stop now. His tongue swirled around your tip every time he reached the top and he took you in like it was nothing, not even gagging once.
His one hand rested on your thigh gripping it for support while the other slid your pants down fully so he could play with your balls.
You were now fully exposed in front of him but adrenaline had found you and care had left. He looked so hot sliding his lips down your dick and you were starting to like the exotic feeling of it.
After some time of him going down on you, working you towards your orgasm he switched gears. He held your penis up with his hand and licked a stripe down to your balls. He motioned for you to grab your penis which you did, blue-tinted spit still covering it. Then practically laid down between your legs, only holding himself up with his free hand. He reached his other hand around and scooted you close to the edge of the chair so your balls would dangle over. He gave a reassuring rub to your hand that was holding your penis as he slurped up your balls.
As soon as they hit his lips he moaned with them in his mouth causing you to immediately start pumping your cock. His spit still covered you making it easy to slide and his mouth sucked up your testicles perfectly.
Jeongin felt your orgasm before you did, tuning into your body as you tuned it out. He sucked hard and gave it his all so you got the most pleasure during your orgasm.
Your cum spilled out as you rubbed your penis faster with a whiney moan. It ran down your cock, over your hand, and dripped on his face. He let your balls out of his mouth with a plop and watched as your cum drizzled down. He poked his blue tongue out and licked some off your balls before getting up.
He wiped his face and mouth off on his sleeve then looked at you. His grin went from ear to ear and his eyes disappeared from how big his smile was.
“Here lemme help you,” he said untying a bandana from his belt and wiping you off. His hands were delicate as his long bony fingers wiped every spot of cum off your body and tucked it away in his pocket.
After you put yourself back together, you were then challenged with how you would get out without getting in trouble. “I have a plan.”
Jeongin opened a squeaky window just behind a dusty curtain and hung out over the edge. He then extended his hand to you.
“Is it safe?” you asked looking down the three levels that you could potentially fall from.
“I've done it multiple times and I will make sure you are safe. I'll even give you a ride home on my motorcycle, I have an extra helmet.”
He said it so certainly that you somehow trusted him. Even though it was against your better judgment it was your only option. So you shakily took his hand and hopped out the window to escape with him.
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ceceswithnopizza · 2 days ago
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Ony and Anjelica make filthy, sloppy, passionate love.
Warning you may need to change your panties(if I do say so myself)
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Intro to Physics was so boring. It felt like high school, the hour and a half class started to feel like a full school day. I could barely keep my eyes open using my balled up fist as a pillow against my cheek as I dozed off again.
“Excuse me Miss Richard’s can you please tell me one of newtons laws?” Mr. Brown quizzed.
Quickly sitting up flipping through my notes as the question repeats in my head. I feel like he makes the lessons boring as fuck on purpose so he can do things like this.
A little under instantly I recited “The force acting on an object is equal to the mass of that object times its acceleration. F=m, Newton’s second law.” Looking at the old man who just quietly nodding a me lazily before going back to the lesson.
Stepping outside again back into the warmth felt amazing. Linking up with my friends James, Nora, and Londyn.
“I want some chipotle” Nora whined as we walked down the stone brick pathways on the way to drop James off to his dorm apartment.
“It’s James’ turn to pick.” I reminded going through my emails. “Fuck” I accidentally said out loud.
“What?” Londyn asked
“The salón is infested with termites so Mitch is shutting everything down for at least a week for fumigations.” I did not bust my ass getting my license just to have it sit in the frame.
“Damn but speaking of the salon and stuff my homebody Ony, he needs his locs done and stuff.” He rattled off as we approached his building.
“How you a boy and don’t know about loc’s?” Nora laughed.
Smacking his teeth “Cause what glorila said ima black ass nigga with waves.” He remixed.
“And a mixer with hella ugly.” She fired back Nora and James doesn’t know it but we all know they’re fucking on the low.
“I wasn’t even talking to you, sis you gon take care of my boy?” He asked causing Londyn to snort.
“She gone take real good care of him.” She dragged.
“Awe hell this sound messy let me gon head and go in the house and we’re eating tacos tonight.” He said going into house.
“Wait you know Ony?” Nora asked
“She more than knows him remember last year when Ony got into it with that boy on the field? That was because our sis got some good cootie cat.” Smacking my teeth at her.
“We were together in high school. We broke up when we got to collage, and then we broke up again year before last and Ony having a short temper don’t got nothing to do with me.” I finished explaining our history.
“Damn so you retwisting his hair?” Nora asked
Shrugging “I mean money is money.”
“Plus it’s Ony and maybe even some dick. . . Okay bye now” she slickly said before going into her apartment leaving just me and Nora.
“Don’t worry I won’t be in the way I too have a d appointment.” She said trying to be vague.
“It’s not a d appointment and we already knew what you were doing tonight. The same thing you’ve done four Friday’s and Wednesday’s in a row.” I teased as we walking into our apartment.
“He he ha ha worry about Ony and when he coming over here.” She said going down the hallway into her room to get ready I’m assuming.
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Going into my bathroom getting my shine and jam, hair clips, ratail comb and everything to wash a detox his hair. Maybe five minutes went by before I heard a knock on the door.
Trotting over and opening the door stood Ony in all his tattooed six foot two glory holding two drink and a chic fil a bag.
“You remembered I always get- the 12 count nuggets with the fries, two Polynesian sauce and a lemonade. I know pretty.” He ran down my order walking past me into the house.
Sitting on the couch eating my food before realizing Ony didn’t have anything.
“Wheres your food?” I asked maybe it was just me but I always had a thing for eating in front of someone it felt rude.
“I’m cutting right now.” He said “eat your food.”
“Have just one please you know how I feel about eating in-front of people.” I said holding out one of the dipped nuggets for him to take.
He leaned over and ate the nugget out of my hand. I’m not going to lie I was stuck.
He gave me a half smile before leaning back over and watching the Rick and Morty I had on the tv.
Finishing my food I rinsed ony’s hair and let some stuff sit to get the products and dirt out. Standing over his form rinsing his hair when I felt his right arm wrap around my waist.
Putting my front back on as I continued to wash his hair. After his hair was dried and cleaned I started twisting his hair. Feeling him shift in the hair I stopped.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah just a little uncomfortable.”
“Oh well you can get another chair and take a little break?” I asked
“Nah hold up” he said he stood up leaving the room before coming back with my pink desk chair. He brought it to the living room and sat in front of it on the floor.
“Ony what are you doing?” I asked looking at him as he shrugged before turning back to the tv.
“Waiting for you to finish my hair” he said casually.
Fine if he wanted to get his hair done in the floor than okay.
Continuing like normal I found my rhythm knocking two of the four sections out easy. Turning his head so I could do the front left leaving his head against my knee and inner thigh.
I felt him start to rub in my thigh sending shockwaves to my pussy.
Rushing to finish the section whilst still being neat I turned his head to the other side of my leg. I tried to ignore the way his hand rubbed in circles gently. Making my clit throb.
Finishing his hair a stood up trying to go change my panties before he noticed.
“Where you going?” He said looking at me with those soft hazel eyes he looked so handsome.
“To bed?” I rushed out trying to step away again but he held his grip on my hand. He turned me to him on we were face to face, chest to chest.
“You really don’t miss me ma?” He said looking down at me his voice soft like it always was when he looked at me like this.
“How you figure that?” I asked getting sucked into his eyes.
“You rushing and you barely talking to me. What’s wrong?” I asked pulling me into a hug his lips against my ears as he rubbed on my butt.
Melting into him
“Nothing I just don’t want to get caught up into you again?” I said truthfully
“Why?”
“I get caught up into you so bad. And you abuse it”
“How?”
“You do everything right in the beginning but then you fall off, stoop showing your care stay out longer without saying anything. Just being careless.”
“I’m sorry baby, you just full of so much love I get scared and fucked up about you. Give me another chance i promise I’ll do right by you baby!” He said taking his head from my neck and looking me deep in the eyes.
He stared kissing on my face trailing down my neck. One, two, three wet kisses on my neck.
Licking my sweet spot just below the underside of my jaw biting my lips to keep from moaning out loud.
“Tell me” peck “to stop” peck peck “and I’ll stop” he said.
Moving my hand around his neck titling my head to give me better access.
Grabbing two handfuls of my ass he stuck his hands in my shorts playing with the thing sting on my thong. His big hands trailing down my skin all the way to my pussy he grazed my clit with his thumb, going in between my leg with the rest of his other fingers feeling my wetness.
“You missed daddy, baby?” He softly asked pecking me on the lips. I nodded.
“Use your voice!”
“I missed you Ony” I moaned out before helping as Ony picked me up and carried me to my room. Making quick work of my clothes I was face down ass up with Ony holding my hands behind my back.
His tongue, flat and wet as he licked in between my lips quickly finding my clit.
“Oh fuck” using our connecting hands that sat on my ass he bounced my pussy deeper on his tongue and locking me into place. He knew my body like the back of his hand the fierce wet licks easily making me cum.
“Oh-h papa I’m finna cum.” I cried out trying to crawl up the bed.
“Naw, take this shit! Cum on daddy face.” He said slurping me harder feeling the ballon in my belly get bigger and bigger as my orgasm got more intense.
“Just like that, good girl.” He praised as I squirted on his face. “Keep riding my face! Getcho nut princess.” I swirled my hips riding his mouth.
“I’m cumming” I chanted as my eyes rolled hard back into my head.
“Stay just like that!” He said as I came down from my orgasm, feeling Ony’s heavy dick tap on my ass.
“I missed your pussy so much baby” Ony slurred a little. taking his dick and tapping it on my clit before putting it in.
My eyes instantly rolled in the back of my head as he filled up me slowly going in and out of me. moaning I put my hand over my mouth.
“Uht-uh I needs hear that” he said smacking my ass a gasp escaping my mouth moaning as he started to speed up. Crawling down the bed pushing myself onto onys pelvis.
“N-need some more papa” I moaned
—-
I didn’t finish this my phone broke it was a whole thing but anyhow I will try to be more active I love yalll 🪼
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fluffywing-e-tarot · 23 hours ago
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Twins of Separate Paths: Mistake Identity
Hu Yuanshi is Shen Yuan.
It had been nearly five years since Hu Yuanshi became Prince of the Hu clan. He was curious about the workings of the Human realm. He noticed that he ended up wandering towards the Cang Qiong sect territory. As he got closer to the peaks, the rumours were that the current Peak Lords were about to ascend.
“Shen Shixion.” Someone called. Being heard across the sound of the market
Hu Yuanshi naturally looked for the voice calling for their senior disciple. The name echoed with his previous existence as Shen Shi. It was a woman dressed in the teal of Qing Jing peak. She ran up to him. Not past or around him
“It is you,” she said. Hu Yuanshi was still left confused. “I thought you said you were staying behind on the mountain to prepare for leading classes. Shizun has been putting a lot of pressure on you these past few months.”
“So, have you done it?”
“Done what?” Hu Yuanshi asked, and he started walking again. “ This shixion is very busy. Shimei will have to be more specific.”
“Formed your Golden core, you must be close,” she said cheerily, walking in step “It’s a shame I won't get to see you show everyone who doubted you.”
Hu Yuanshi thought of why it sounded like she was leaving the sect. She looked to be a put-together cultivator and a valued member of the senior ranks of the sect. But it appeared that he didn’t even need to probe further as she kept talking.
“The Girls on Xian shu became absolutely feral when my marriage was mentioned to them.”
“Oh, you're marrying out of the sect.” Hu Yuanshi said,
“Luckily, I got the wedding planners actively talking to me down to only Qi Qingqi shimei”. The woman said. “ I’m just taking a break from it all.”
They talked for hours on the benefits of certain customs included in a wedding. Yuanshi barely noticed as the slope increased and a tingle travelled up his spine. It wasn’t until he heard the rushing steps of a large group that they broke from conversation. The white of Bai zian disciples mixed with the teal of quin jing peak and the Yellow of an Ding, and the Grey of a peak he didn’t know about. They looked to be in a defensive search.
There was a mutter of a Demon getting in. The woman next to him turned her attention to the problem at hand. “What do you know?”
That was when Hu Yuanshi saw a familiar face. Shen Jiu is the only person it could be. Something clicked into place, and Hu Yuanshi felt his mouth fill with the taste of Worry, anger and disgust.
“Shen Shixion is right,” the woman started, but then spotted Jiu-ge. Then she looked back at Hu Yuanshi.
Well, looks like he’s got to go. He let out a burst of Demonic qi, stirring up the dirt into a smoke screen and ran.
He stops running after several li. His mouth tasted the anger and frustration that Jiu-ge is going through. He marked his brother. His stupid Demon brain took one look at his brother and determined he would make a good food source. He wants to spit out emotions that he’s feeding on without touching his own brother.
“Fuck.” is the only word that qualifes.
Original Post & Master List
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forged-in-paper · 2 days ago
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I am no longer working on 5e content, BUT!
So, an amount of time has passed and a number of things have occurred which, skipping past the gory details, has led me to no longer working on content for 5th edition D&D. This sounds like a travesty, but it has given me time to direct that passion elsewhere, an elsewhere which may or may not be relevant to you, so if you would join me for a moment, allow me to take you on a trip back in time for some context.
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A few years back, I was fresh off a long-running campaign with some friends and looking for something new to do. I had been running games in vallonde for years and, as much as I love the setting, I needed a vacation from my son, so to speak.
I was in the process of streaming a playthrough of Ogre Battle 64 and thought "Hey, I really love these games and the setting, why not put some effort into making a little setting guide and running an Ogre Battle campaign?" Sounds great, right? Lots of politics, nuanced heroes, villains both relatable and cartoonish...I really could go on about OB forever but I'm going to refrain because that's not what this is about. What it IS about is boring historical events concerning this specific nobody, and in this specific case I spent maybe 2(ish?) weeks combing the internet for everything I could find related to Ogre Battle: Characters, nations, cities, classes, calendars, timelines, and so on, until I had a pretty extensive catalog of content I could start turning into plots and adventures. This was all going really well, and had a lot of promise, until random happenstance caused me to lose it all.
Now I had to make a decision. Did I want to go back to square 1 and start all over again, or did I want to just give up? Apparently the answer was neither because in that moment I had a thought: Why was I putting so much work into collecting all this information and twisting the 5e mechanics into some crazy shape they were never meant to be in when I could just make my own game? At first it was mostly just an itch in the back of my mind but eventually I say down to see if I could reasonably pull of what I wanted, which was essentially a tabletop game built specifically for Ogre Battle games, which utilized the mechanics found throughout the games, as well as things like classes and monsters. After working over some basic designs, I finished the rules for the combat system and knew there was a game hidden inside this idea.
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Let's go ahead and bring it back to the present day. I never actually stopped working on content, I've just put all of that time into developing a game of my own design. In that time, I've gone through multiple iterations of a game that has grown far beyond its original aspirations as well as its design as an Ogre Battle TTRPG into something I'm excited to call my own. The project now goes by the name Celestial Solstice and is, more-or-less, done. It's really hard for me to describe the game's focus, but let me try to lay out what makes it special:
A truly balanced pillar trio: The game is built to make every theoretical playstyle a viable path toward advancement. Battle, exploration, and social content all hold the capacity for meaningful advancement.
A game of procedures: Taking a note from the mechanical procedures of older TTRPGs and select board games, Celestial Solstice uses closed, ordered feedback loops to organize the gameplay experience. All three gameplay pillars get their own unique style of play which is supported with character options.
No character limits: There are a massive amount of character options for people who love building characters. A three-tier job system with a total of 6 tier 1 jobs, 12 tier 2 jobs, and 12 tier 3 jobs means you can mix and match to create your own unique class. There are no character levels, and players instead buy character upgrades using EXP they earn for overcoming challenges. These EXP can be used to upgrade attributes, buy new features, and acquire and improve skills.
Gathering & Crafting: A large amount of focus on gone into incorporating gathering of raw materials and the crafting of those raw materials into usable items into the game. Forestry pairs with woodworking, herbalism with alchemy, mining with blacksmithing, and skinning with leatherworking to give players a wide assortment of options whether they want to do some crafting on the side or dedicate their entire character to the concept. There's also a system for enchanting items with magical effects which KINDA counts as crafting, right?
Control an army: The game is designed from the ground up for the recruitment of NPCs as well as the hiring of retainers, mercenaries, and employees. Recruit up to 50 characters which can participate in the game just like PCs do, going on adventures, gaining EXP, and improving over time. There's also a whole player-owned base mechanic which acts as the home for your ever-growing army.
A unique, fast-paced battle system: The battle system is modeled after the unit grid based system found in Ogre Battle 64. Emphasis is placed on battles that resolve quickly to prevent burnout yet allow players to roll lots of dice and make strategic decisions that matter. In this system, strategic unit placement is just as important as good dice rolls.
It's a point crawl system!
Random generation tables EVERYWHERE!
And honestly much more!
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This are no plans for this to be a commercial project, at least not any time soon, but with that said it is technically a playable, complete game that is being iterated and improved upon over time. At the end of the day, I'm writing this post as a stupidly long-winded way to ask: Would anyone here be interested in seeing this blog turn into something dedicated to my personal TTRPG system? It's never going to be a 5e blog again, but I'd hate to let it wither away to nothing after such a long history. If so I'll start making posts describing the mechanics of my system and giving behind the scenes looks at how and why some of the design decisions were made, but I understand if people aren't interested in following a project they can't incorporate into the own games. Lemme know, cause I like you guys and would love to share this project that has become so close to me, but I get it, it is what it is lol.
Thanks for reading, and good gaming regardless!
- Forge
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hawkeyedflame · 5 months ago
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i cannot overstate how much postural restoration therapy has changed my life. i can actually snowboard now. like for real, my center of gravity actually shifted back to where it is supposed to be and i can comfortably stand balanced over the board in a way i was completely incapable of last year when my pelvis was all twisted and fucked up. i can't believe how drastic the change is. i can't believe i was walking with a limp for years and i didn't even know it until i stopped limping. and above all, i can't believe how simple the therapy was. i'm like. wow. what the hell.
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thebirdandhersong · 1 year ago
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It is some consolation that one day this will not make me bristle
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dancedance-resolution · 2 years ago
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i started a supercorp portrait of a lady on fire au like three years ago. i'm never going to finish it, but the writing style is pretty cool, so i want to share it. so um enjoy the prologue and a bit of chapter one?
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Prologue. Bonnelles, France. 1786.
“First, my contours,” Kara said, her voice soft and level. She looked out upon the dozen or so young women, their eyes darting back and forth from their papers to Kara herself. “The outline,” she continued. The increasingly swift sound of scratching charcoal prompted Kara to further instruct, “Not too fast. Take time to look at me.” She paused. “See how my arms are placed.”
At that moment, Kara saw the painting.
She swallowed and took in a breath; she schooled her expression before letting out the air with a pathetically soft “My hands.” Her students’ gaze followed her verbal direction, now observing as Kara’s fingers curled with remembrance. Their own hands now began to sketch the slope of hers—the slope that had once coaxed breathy moans from a lover, the slope that had once created that very painting in all of its hollow longing.
Kara felt her heart rate accelerating, and her attempts at calming deep breaths only made her shoulders shake unsteadily. “Who brought that painting out?” Her eyes darted around, landing on each possible offender, as she tensed her core and adopted a stern countenance.
Every student dutifully turned to look at the work.
It was an especially young girl who finally lifted her hand. “I brought it. From the stock room. Should I have not?”
Kara’s “no” felt like a brick, its weight threatening to pry tears from her reddening eyes. So Kara took another swallow, a handful of blinks, a few more steadying breaths.
“Did you paint it?” the girl asked innocently. Nia, her name was? She stared at Kara, oblivious to the flood of sound overwhelming Kara’s mind and echoing in the cavern of her heart.
“Yes,” Kara uttered softly, the word barely audible as they fell from her lips. “A long time ago.”
Nia’s head snapped back to examine the painting once more. It stood on an old but sturdy easel, tattooed and scarred but still standing. The artwork itself was brooding, with a white sun bleeding into a dark vignette. Heavy clumps of clouds occupied the sky and caged some of the sun’s rays, so the fire burning behind the woman was bright enough in comparison to create a dragging shadow of her figure. The flames crawled up the back of her windswept dress, bringing sharp tension to an otherwise lulling, melancholy landscape.
“What’s the title?”
The sound of the sea began to swell in Kara’s head. Her lips trembled. Her body unwittingly swayed slightly. “Portrait of a Lady on Fire.”
---
Chapter I. The island of Brittany, France, and the surrounding sea. 1779.
Kara squinted into the distance, her face scrunching up a bit as she desperately tried to shield her eyes from the harsh glare of the sun on the water. For all its gorgeous teals and sparkling peaks, it certainly did make her wish for one of those brimmed hats the rowers were all wearing. With every one of their paced paddles, the cork-like little canoe bobbed haphazardly. Kara rather felt as if she were in the wine glass of a thoroughly drunken Marie Antoinette.
At least she wasn’t prone to seasickness.
She still felt quite unsteady, though, being thrown about and forced to pathetically grab onto the boat’s low walls. She leaned forward, trying to regain her balance and ground herself despite the absence of ground.
The wooden pallet holding her canvas was, apparently, as unstable as she was, and the next thing Kara knew, it had been lurched off of the boat like vomit from a drunkard. Kara watched helplessly as it thrashed among the choppy waves, the sea carrying it a few feet from the boat.
The chief rower met her desperate look with exhausted resignation; he ceased his paddling as Kara shed her overcoat and placed a precarious foot on the edge of the canoe.
With a strained creak from the boat’s wood, she jumped into the water, dress billowing behind her. Her first gasp for air upon emerging from the water was audible; she could feel the effort in her throat. Her arms moved in laborious little arcs as she slowly made her way towards the floating pallet and finally made a desperate reach for it. Kara’s fingers grasped onto a wooden board, and she pulled herself up onto it with a grunt.
---
The incessant wind upon the sea was certainly not helping Kara. Dripping wet, she wrapped herself up in her overcoat in a pitiful plea for warmth. She held the edges of the garment up to her lips, the sensation of the dry fabric bringing her some comfort as she closed her eyes and left herself to the mercy of the mighty sea.
But the interminable rocking of the feeble boat wouldn’t allow her any rest.
Kara wasn’t very religious, not anymore. Yet, the sight of the cliffs and coast of Brittany moved her to relieved prayer.
---
The sun had already begun to set as Kara trekked up the sandy coast. Her legs ached with every stumbling, unsure step—maybe she was a bit seasick after all—and her hands were tired of having to grip her full skirt to keep it out of her way.
She paused on the rocks, taking a moment to manually wring some of the water out of her skirt. She filled her lungs with an arduous breath before slinging the rope holding the pallet over her shoulder. Next came the fabric sling, which housed her trunk of personal items—she positioned it on her back with careful poise.
The journey up the cliffs and towards the trees was exhausting. Kara’s skirt required repositioning every few seconds, the rope was digging into her shoulder, and the pallet and trunk slammed into her back with each wobbling step. By the time she reached the straight path up to the residence, her breaths were heavy and pained, and the sun was nearly fully hidden beneath the horizon.
A soft light emanated from the windows above the mansion’s door, helping Kara feel a bit more secure as she knocked. A short blonde woman answered her summon and introduced herself with a flat “I’m Eve.” She opened the door a bit wider and gestured with her body for Kara to come in.
Eve held a small candle as she guided Kara up the stairs, the sounds of their shoes echoing through the grand yet starkly undecorated hallway. The walls of the stairwell were cement bricks, and the wrought iron bannister was rather plain and geometric.
They came to a stop in front of a similarly void room, bare save a few heavy curtains and a daybed. The raised panels along these walls matched the white-painted wood of the window frames, and they gave the chamber some elegant character.
While Eve entered the comparatively less intimidating room, Kara stayed back a moment, taking in the shafts of muted blue light from the windows and the contrasting warm glow of leaping flames from the central fireplace.
Eve crouched down to poke at the fire as Kara set down her belongings. “It was a reception room,” Eve explained. “Though I’ve never seen it used.”
The fire crackled pleasantly. “Have you been here long?” Kara inquired.
“Three years,” Eve answered, directing her attention back to the fire.
Kara peeled off her overcoat and draped it along the wainscoting. “Do you like it here?”
“Yes,” Eve said simply as she stood up. She turned to Kara, meeting her eyes now as her hands smoothed over her skirt. “I’ll let you get dry.” And with a nod, she was on her way.
Kara watched her every step.
Once the door closed, she hastily began removing her overskirt. It fell to the dark herringbone floor with an unglamorous thud.
---
There was no method or grace to the way Kara wrapped her hand around the rusting crowbar, but with a few jerks, she’d managed to successfully pry the top off of the pallet.
After setting down the wood cover, Kara extended her hand, letting it fall clumsily onto the slick canvas in front of her. It was still wet, and her hand’s small circular movement caused moisture to pool at her fingertips, as if her touch had beckoned the water. So her hand withdrew, and Kara slid the canvas out from its container. Her eyes danced over the surface as she considered how to dry it, holding it in front of herself like the Communion host of an evening Mass.
---
Kara decided to accompany her drying canvas, which was now positioned next to the fireplace. Stripped naked, she sat in front of the fire and pulled her legs towards herself—she was vulnerable, sitting there bare and in a new environment, and the action made her feel a bit more small, compact, and safe.
Kara set down her candle so she could light her tobacco pipe with the flames. Her large, smoky exhales grounded her, in a way, with the familiar sight and smell acting as a sort of sedative. And she stared forward, expression blank but unmistakably worn.
---
Kara walked barefoot along the cement floor, making her way through the hall and to the pantry room wrapped in nothing but her robe-like smock.
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 5 months ago
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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creating a spreadsheet of the trio's lines in the webnovel vs webcomic (as one does), and. i am on the FLOOR their characterisation differs so much from the webnovel and webcomic?!?!??? 😭😭 they took away all of hestio's flavour!!! and Ephael is a lot more stereotypical sunshine too i am losing my mind
Gone:
In the toy mansion, Ephael said that Tesilid was not just his friend, but his "best friend", so Ailette gave him more food. Hestio got very visibly sad and angry.
Whenever they're in battle, Hestio kind of talks to Ephael like he's a P*kemon ("Ephael, go and bite them!" / "Uh... okay.")
Ephael is pretty quiet and subdued throughout the toy mansion, while in the comic he's very artificially cheery.
ALMOST THE ENTIRETY OF HESTIO'S LINES WHEN THEY SNUCK TESILID FOOD IN PRISON IS GONE?!?!?!?? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 THE VIBES ARE SO DIFFERENT
Webnovel has BOTH Hestio and Ephael handing over food (in the webcomic only Ephael brought food. I dunno what Hestio was doing there.)
ONLY the webnovel has Hestio's extremely cute "What? Are you going to refuse the food because the rules are important? (annoyed but also genuinely scared)" / ".....I thought I'd have to shove the food down your mouth if you refused. Well, eat up."
The webcomic has Hestio suddenly ruin the entire mood by saying "🙄😒 did you know 🤓 the vatican is taking things out on you bc you refuse to kill heretics. also idc if the heretics are actually evil or not, what matters is that the vatican wants to know if youre on their side." like stfu please 😭 In the webnovel Hestio only brings this up because Ephael went "cheer up! if it werent for the city making a fuss, the vatican wouldn't have done this" and Hestio corrected him bc he wanted Tesilid not to misunderstand his situation with the Vatican.
What did they make comic!Hestio so callous for !!!!! 😭😭😭 Hestio is a SOFTIE with a mean streak and sharp tongue!!!
#a transmigrator's privilege#the perks of being an s class heroine#vatican trio#hestio ligenel#ephael chaletino#CRYING MY EYES OUT#THEIR NOVEL CHARACTERISATION IS SO CUTE THO?!?!??????#spoilers in next tags#on god if they take away hestio shutting up and ephael taking over the convo in the reunion scene i am going to CRY#that scene is so precious to me?!??#novel dynamic of hestio being the one taking the lead and ephael backing him up is so precious to me#anyway if anyone wants access to the spreadsheet lmk.... sobbing#anw i started this mini project bc ora you said that you couldnt tell who was talking in mirror dungeon (so valid)#and i was like oh the more casual one is eph-- ....is it actually? where did i get this impression#im done w the tutorial arc but its alr making me MISERABLE wym their characterisation changes so much 😭😭😭😭#anw in their childhood they both talk in v similar ways#as adults one of them is casual and the other uses more formal speech patterns#also if any one is cussing either ephael or tesilid out its almost definitely hestio. lol.#by the process of elimination (no one else in the party would be so rude to ephael)#and ephael is generally more chill about tesilid#u cant really tell while reading but ephael very rarely says bad things about tesilid#its usually hestio that's mean about it and hes so loud + ephael doesnt disagree with him so its v easy to attribute it to him too#i mean ephael prob also shares the same thoughts. but its usually hestio voicing it and w that much negativity#ephaels just like lol our boy tesilid is up to his usual hijinks again. haha#while hestio is like UGH this ASSHOLE can you fucking BELIEVE HIM. just LOOK at him what does he think he's doing#ephael (neutral): oh tesilid not again#hestio (screaming and full of hate): tesilid not again!!
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collecting--stardust · 1 year ago
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Guess who's spending Eid away from home again next year lol
#me bitch#i havent went home for eid for 2 years and if you count next year then make it 3#so fyi first day of eid is estimated to be on the 10 of april 2024 which is Wednesday#so my classmates estimate that the classes on monday and tuesday will be online so they started to buy the tickets on Friday (5/4)#or during the weekend basically because yknow festive season = expensive tickets#and i told it to my friend and she chekced the ticket to go to kl and its only 200+ (official app) or 100+ (travel company) on 6/4 at 5am#so she asked me if i want to buy it so we can share transport to airport together and be in the same flight#so i called mom just now but since i need to take the transit to ny hometown it racks up to rm800+ 💀#totalled with the flights back to uni on sunday (14/4) it will be up to rm1600+ 💀#mom sound sorry and even said she can pay if i really want to go back home#but yknow i dont want to burden my parents more (they are the one who usually pay for my flights anyway)#and my friend who lives in the same state as me also doesnt seem to be able to afford the expensive tickets too#so its just me and her in the perantauan again ig lol#but my friend who lives here said to just celebrate eid with her and we can sleep in her room 😂#tbh i dont really mind not going back because as i get older the excitement for eid lessen idk#but i kinda miss the bersalam on the morning of eid with my family so yeah#and if i were to graduate and start working which i cant imagine ngl then i wont be home much anyway#whatever at least i get to fast at home for a week so theres still some W to celebrate#personal.txt
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quitedisastrous · 1 month ago
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crazy about how fucked up shit can feel at 5am and then you have a single minute human interaction the next day and go "huh. maybe shit won't be that fucked up after all"
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jackies-ear · 1 month ago
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Debating going to dance today… the playlist looks soo fun! But also high impact which is what I’m having trouble with. And there’s only 4 ppl signed up rn so there’s nowhere for me to hide like I do on thurs
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
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