#it makes me feel the way bo burnham’s inside makes me feel

[cryptic-symbols]

*through fat tears* yeah, I was thinking about the pandemic album again…….take note of what will be gone in the blink of an eye……..

[whoops-all-jennas]

Look Who's Inside Again pt 1.

Jenna Ortega x fem!reader

"Well, well. Look who's inside again."

"Went out to look for a reason to hide again."

Summary: This is your first time playing a major role in a movie and it's intimidating. Jenna comforts you after you hide away in your trailer.

a/n: y/f/m means your favorite media. movie, book, anime, video game, whatever.

Part 1 Part 2

The muted sound of everyone talking fills my ears as I zone out. The first few days on set are being used to get the cast adjusted to each other. I've never had such a major role before in a big movie, to say I'm nervous is an understatement.

I already have trouble talking to people normally, how am I supposed to talk to celebrities? Especially when they're the ones approaching me. Shouldn't it be the other way around?

"Y/n?" A voice enters my head, my head perking up at the mention of my name. I meet my eyes to Jenna's. "Are you okay?"

"I uh, yeah I'm doing good." I force a smile before looking to the side, avoiding her gaze. I have never felt more parasocial in my life. How am I supposed to hold a conversation with these people, especially Jenna, when I feel like I already know too much about them and they know nothing about me.

The main cast consists of four people. Jenna Ortega, Finn Wolfhard, Wyatt Oleff, and I. It's one of those horror movies where it's a group of teenagers investigating something where they should die because of it, but we all know they won't because it's a movie.

"So are you excited? This is your first major role right?" I turn towards the voice to meet Finn. "This could be a big debut for you."

"Yeah I'm excited." I grab my arm, holding myself and taking up as little space as possible. "I'm mostly nervous though, a lot can happen."

I feel Jenna's gaze on me, so I turn to look at her to find a look of curiosity in her eyes. "It can be intimidating, but you can do it. I believe in you." Jenna's genuine smile meets my uncertain face.

Jenna saying 'I believe in you' repeats in my head like a metronome. This somehow makes me feel more nervous and also safer at the same time.

I just don't want to embarrass myself in front of these people, especially Jenna.

It seems the conversation continued while I was in my head. Everyone's eyes were on me expectingly. Did they ask me something?

"Sorry, what'd you guys say?" I ask, Finn and Wyatt look at each for a moment with a face that I can't tell is annoyance or uncertainty. "It wasn't important." Wyatt states.

That feeling of safety is now gone, my heart beating at a thousand miles an hour.

Was it important?

I feel my legs start to shake from the nerves, as if I could fall at the slightest inconvenience.

The nervousness replaced with anxiety and uncontrollable thoughts. 'Did I already blow it before I did a single scene? Does everyone think I'm annoying? That I'm distant?'

I find Jenna's worried gaze on me yet again, causing me to look at the ground for a moment before trying to keep eye contact with the main cast and failing. "I'll be back."

I quickly find myself walking to my assigned trailer, my pace faster than usual. When I finally find myself inside, I close the door pushing my back against it before sliding down. I sit there with my knees to my chest and head in my arms wrapped around my legs.

I already decorated my trailer to procrastinate on meeting the others. I tried my best to make it feel like home, bringing posters and collectibles from different pieces of media I enjoy. The blinds are closed, blocking the light sure, but also separating the trailer from the set.

Luckily, I also brought some string lights to hang across the ceiling. I don't know if I could handle the harsh florescent lights my entire time here.

I take a moment to try to take control of my breathing, doing the breathing exercises I've been instructed since I was little.

I'm interrupted with knocking on the door I'm leaning on. I stand to open the door to find Jenna Ortega on the other side. I still can't believe I'm seeing her in person and on talking terms.

Well, if I ever actually try to talk to her that is.

"Hey, I just wanted to check on you. It seemed like something was wrong." Her worried yet genuine glance meets mine.

"I'm- I don't know." I cut myself off to stop myself from lying, biting my bottom lip.

Jenna looks past me for a moment. "Can I come in?"

I nod, opening the door more and taking a step back. Jenna walks past me, she's wearing this nice perfume that fills the scentless trailer.

She looks around, admiring the decorations. "I like the string lights, I can't handle the florescent lights they use in these."

I close the door before approaching the built in couch. "Thanks, I actually wasn't aware of them until I got here. Luckily, I brought them from home by chance."

Jenna turns, taking the seat next to me. "Do you wanna talk about what's wrong? I understand if you don't want to."

"I-"

I cut myself off again, unsure what to say. "I don't know."

My heart is still beating to the bpm of flight of the bumblebee.

Jenna gives me a genuine smile, trying to make me feel comfortable, before glancing around the room again. Her eyes linger on the merchandise of different medias.

"How about we talk about media we like?" Her genuine gaze meeting mine. "I'll start, I really like Breaking Bad. It's kinda a guilty pleasure of mine."

My eyes slightly light up.

"I also really like Breaking Bad." I say, trying to reflect her genuineness. "I really like the character development and how much they change throughout the story."

Jenna scots a little closer. "I know right?! it's so good!" She seems so interested in the conversation.

She looks into my eyes with a smile. "Now it's your turn."

I look around the room for a moment, unsure what I should say. For a lot of my life I was told I can get annoying when I delve into my interests. It's like whenever I start talking about it I can't stop.

I don't want her to think I'm annoying, but I also don't want to tear down all the work she did to try to get me comfortable.

"I really like y/f/m, I just love the universe that they made so much and the characters." I start speaking, pausing for a moment to read Jenna's expression.

She is smiling and has this look in her eyes, like a genuine interest in what I'm talking about. My eyes feel like an open door as she looks into them.

"You can keep talking, I was listening." Her smile somehow becomes more genuine, causing a smile to creep up on my face.

For the past few minutes Jenna let me ramble about y/f/m. I soon realize I've likely been rambling for way too long "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how long I was talking." My smile fades, turning to embarrassment in an instant.

"What, no it's okay." She puts a hand on my knee comfortingly. "I was interested in what you were talking about."

I look at her eyes, her genuine eyes complimented with her genuine smile.

She is just so genuine.

"Are you sure I'm not being annoying?" I ask, insecurity laced in my voice.

She nods to me, her smile fills my heart.

I'll never get over the way she looks at me. As if she's actually interested in the conversation, interested in who I am.

I find myself looking down to the couch cushion, hiding my face. Soft gentle sobs start to escape my body, my shoulders slightly shaking.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jenna scots closer, her hand gently grabbing my unstable shoulders.

I sniffle before getting my head up, revealing my glossy eyes and a few tears. My head feels like a boulder, trying to keep it lifted on top of my shoulders.

I shake my head with a smile. "It's stupid."

"There isn't a stupid reason to cry." Jenna says comfortingly, rubbing my shoulder with her thumb as she rests her hand there.

I look away again for a moment before meeting Jenna's gentle eyes. I open my mouth, no sound coming out as I try to decide my words before I speak. "It's just you're so nice. Most people either just let me speak, but are clearly disinterested or just flat out call me annoying."

Jenna's eyes are laced with empathy as she looks into my eyes like windows.

I sniffle before speaking again, fanning my face for moment. "And you just seem so interested and intrigued in what I'm talking about, and it just means so much and- I don't know."

She continues to rub my arm. There was a moment of silence, the only noise being my soft sobs until Jenna spoke. "I loved seeing the excitement and passion you have about y/f/m. You should talk to me more about it some time." She says with a smile.

I nod. "Yeah, I'd like that." A sniffle interrupts the middle of my sentence.

"I should probably try to calm down, I don't really want to go back outside looking like this." I motion my hands over my face, addressing my puffy eyes and tear streaked face.

Jenna breaks eye contact for a moment, finding the tv before meeting my gaze again. "How about we watch something?"

I nod, she stands and quickly finds the remote. "Before we start watching something, do you need a hug? You're allowed to say no."

I love how considerate she is.

I nod, standing up. She holds her arms out, inviting me into her arms. I put my arms around her lower back and she wraps hers around my upper back, one hand resting on the back of my head playing with my hair comfortingly. She holds me in her warm, gentle embrace for a moment before letting go.

She meets my face with a smile. "Feel better?"

I quickly nod with a smile on my face, happiness in my eyes.

"Do you have any comfort movies?" Jenna asks, finding her seat back on the couch.

I find my seat next to her. "I really like Studio Ghibli movies."

Jenna points the remote to the TV. "How about Spirited Away?"

"That sounds good to me." I say with a nod, looking at her one more time with a smile before we start the movie.

a/n: hii guys, hope you enjoyed my first Jenna fic. this was inspired by the tiktoks I've seen about the way Jenna looks at people. maybe if you guys behave you'll get a Jenna fic that has actual romance in it next.

[millenianthemums]

I wanted to share the official playlist I made for this fic! I always make playlists for stories of mine, but I honestly really like this one and wanted to share it. I went way overboard on the cover, but it was still fun. I’ll probably reuse it when I post the first chapter of the fic, which I’m hoping will happen in the next couple weeks!

tracklist under the cut! the songs don’t map directly onto the plot or anything, they’re just vibe-based. there’s a lot of cheesy pop and angsty stuff right next to each other, because i feel like that’s gonna be the tone of the fic in general.

* Ruler of Everything - Tally Hall

* The Saga of You, Confused Destroyer of Planets - Lemon Demon

* Kiss Me, Son of God - They Might Be Giants

* Beady Eyes on the Horizon - Jukebox the Ghost

* The Next Dimension - Lemon Demon

* Look Who’s Inside Again - Bo Burnham

* Hollywood Baby - 100 gecs

* Problems - Mother Mother

* Something Glowing - Lemon Demon

* The Guide to Success - Joe Iconis / Eric William Morris

* Flap Flap - Patricia Taxxon

* Hot Air Balloon - Owl City

* Baby One More Time - Britney Spears

* Cilantro - Patricia Taxxon

* Shooting Star - Owl City

* Mamma Mia - ABBA

* Swear To God the Devil Made Me Do It - The Front Bottoms

* Teenagers - My Chemical Romance

* Big Wheel - Patricia Taxxon

* Fine - Lemon Demon

* Perfect - Marianas Trench

* Alone Together - Fall Out Boy

* Modern Day Cain - I Don’t Know How But They Found Me

* Bloodeater - Girls Rituals

* Against the Kitchen Floor - Will Wood

* Kill All Your Friends - My Chemical Romance

* Scare Me - Ludo

* September - Earth Wind & Fire

* Wow Wow - Neil Cicierega

* Have It All - Jason Mraz

* I’m Still Here - John Rzeznik

* Yellow Horse - cats millionaire

* Honest - Patricia Taxxon

* Son of a Gun - Joe Iconis / Eric William Morris

* Peach - The Front Bottoms

* …well, better than the alternative - Will Wood

* Candy Store - Heathers

* When the Chips are Down - Hadestown

* Aurora Borealis - Lemon Demon

* Goodbye - Bo Burnham

* Twin Size Mattress - The Front Bottoms

* Dumbest Girl Alive - 100 gecs

* Killer in the Mirror - Set It Off

* A Sadness Runs Through Him - The Hoosiers

* Bad Guy - Set It Off

* My Alcoholic Friends - Dresden Dolls

* SAD - Lemon Demon

* Happily Ever After - He Is We

* True Kinda Love - Steven Universe

* Everything Stays - Adventure Time

* I Bet on Losing Dogs - Mitski

* Love Love Love - The Mountain Goats

* Goodbye to a World - Porter Robinson

* King - Lauren Aquiliana

* Stand By You - Rachel Platton

* Ready Now - Dodie

* Seventeen (Reprise) - Heathers

* Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips

* Time To Pretend - MGMT

* Die Young - Kesha

* Good Time - Owl City

* Anything For You - Ludo

* Monster - Adventure Time

* You Love Me - Kimya Dawson

[isabel3710]

More songs that fit the brothers in my Pop Star AU

John Dory: Maybe Man by AJR

"Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel"

"You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal"

"But I'd miss the way we make up and smile"

"Don't want to be stone, I changed my mind."

Bruce: 7 Years by Lukas Graham

"I'm still learning about life, my woman brought children for me"

"So I can sing them all my songs, and I can tell them stories".

"Most of my boys are with me, some are still out seeking glory"

"And some I had to leave behind, my brother, I'm still sorry."

Clay: Look Who’s Inside Again by Bo Burnham

"Try making faces"

"Try telling jokes, making little sounds"

"… Well, well"

"Look who's inside again."

"Went out to look for a reason to hide again."

Floyd: All You Wanna Do from Six: The Musical

"I thought this time was different"

"Why did I think he'd be different?"

"But it's never, ever different"

"'Cause all you wanna do"

"All you wanna do, baby"

Is touch me, when will enough be enough?"

Branch: I'm Still Standing by Elton John

"Don't you know I'm still standin' better than I ever did?"."

""Lookin' like a true survivor, feelin' like a little kid"

"And I'm still standin' after all this time"

"Pickin' up the pieces of my life without you on my mind."

[rosiebeetle]

I'm gonna sound bonkers rn but it's 3 am so bear with me, I said this in the discord server and I'm gonna say it here

Beetlejuice can't break the fourth wall he just pretends there r people there watching him so he doesn't feel lonely that's why he's so dramatic and stuff all the time because he needs to entertain his "audience" the singing and stuff never happened that's literally just all in his head He grew up alone isolated and locked in his room so he made a entire audience to keep himself saneish in a way because he didn't want to face how crippingly alone he was, when he finally made a friend (Lydia) he stopped imagining the audience he only breaks the fourth wall twice and that was only after Lydia had left him and when he's abt to leave after the sandworm eating juno he starts imagining the audience because he knows he's gonna be alone all over again, saying "SQUEALLLL" in hopes that he will be able to come back and never be alone and invisible again

EDIT : OK I ADDED TO THIS HC TO MAKE IT MAKE MORE SENSE KINDA I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS AFTER I WROTE IT

Juno knows that there is a actual audience but of course she doesn't want her son to feel loved so she makes it so he can't see them, eventually imagining it as a copeing mechanism because when he was little 1-8 he could see the audience but as he grew older and juno hid them so he thought he was imagining it the whole time and he just never stopped imagining itAfter going to Saturn with the sandworms Juno's to far for her curse magic bs to work so he sees the audience and sees people r there to see HIM people who love HIM so he gets the confidence to go back and kill his mother instead of letting himself die to a sand worm. When he's doing the leg bit he's back in his natural trying to make the audience laugh state and is acting like he did in act one/a little in act 2 again and when he's saying sequel and looking into the crowd he's hoping basically begging with his eyes that they want to see him again because he knows it's the end of the show and he's not ready to be alone againWhen people write fanfics he's overjoyed because he's the one in them and people want to see him again so bad they r creating there own stories of him coming backHappy that somebody is so desperate to see him more they spend months drawing or writing or painting to see him again

He's very bo burnham coded

[mr-seamonster]

What I wouldn't give to be able to write something so emotionally gut wrenching and devastating as

"You say the oceans rising, like I give a shit. You say the whole worlds ending, honey it already did. You're not gonna slow it, heaven knows you try. Got it? Good, now get inside."

from Bo Burnham's all eyes on me.

Yknow not even that version specifically, any of the reprises/versions of the bridge. The all make me feel hopeless in both the best and worst ways possible somehow.

[quillyfied]

HELLO, my fellow feral girlies (GN)! How about that episode, huh? Gosh I sure hope nobody was too comfortable with that ending, because as much as I have now built my house inside of the way Blitzo’s fingertips linger on Stolas’ cheek, this episode was as much setup as it was payoff and we have SO MUCH GROUND TO COVER. Buckle up, buttercups, time to dissect Mastermind! In over six thousand words!!

I CALLED IT, BITCHES, BOTH STOLAS AND IMP WERE ALWAYS GONNA BE IN DEEP LEGAL SHIT. I CALLED THAT. I ALSO CALLED BEE AND OZZIE STANDING UP FOR BLITZO. I was NOT EXPECTING this vision to come true so soon, nor for it to be covered in a single episode, but pacing issues aside…holy shit. We have FEASTED. And to be honest, even the pacing issue isn’t so much an issue for me; when Our Flag Means Death was airing its second season, they released the episodes in batches but left the finale to air on its own, and that…woof. It made the finale feel breakneck in a way that was already upsetting, given the budget and episode number cuts and then the subsequent cancellation. However, watching all of season 2 in one shot somehow fixed that issue; the finale no longer felt so fast-paced and sudden when watched in context. I do have to wonder if Mastermind is going to feel the same way upon future rewatches. Obviously I haven’t had the time to test this theory yet. Okay. Initial thoughts out of the way, now for an attempt at more chronology:

Do y’all wonder if Andrealphus’ butler has white fingertips from frostbite after years of working for this ice bitch? Because all of the imp’s extremities being white is kind of really upsetting actually.

Andrealphus is…SUCH a bitch. Like. Dramatic, evil, campy bitch. I would love to know his backstory, like how old he actually is and how much of a hand in Stella’s raising and arranged marriage he had. (There will of course be a Stella introspective later, but let’s focus on the brother for now, since he’s hogging the spotlight.) It’s interesting to me to see this episode just how entitled Andrealphus feels…to Stolas’ power and assets. And how so very carefully he lays his trap for Stolas after learning the crucial information needed to orchestrate Stolas’ downfall. It’s exquisite, actually.

(Don’t start humming Bo Burnham’s Unpaid Intern song under your breath during the intern scene. Don’t do it.)

…do we need to have a discussion about how the photos the Hell Cops use are what seems like a candid shot of Loona at a party, Blitzo and Moxxie’s mug shots, and possibly a wanted poster or another candid of Millie during her solo days? Do we need to pick that apart? We probably don’t but it seems very likely to me that the picture of Loona is a snapshot of Bee’s party, possibly with Bee’s hands on her shoulders (and if not Bee, maybe Tex? It’s been a bit, I can’t quite remember), which…yikes. Feels like a paparazzi shot.

This whole sequence of trying to HIDE EVERYTHING (see: DESTROY EVERYTHING) is so deeply funny and also so…so very dark. Loona grabbing the picture of their first mission together as IMP. Blitzo doing his usual of bullying Moxxie but taking him along as Blitzo goes to get the others. Blitzo doing his best to protect his family from the Hell Cops and ultimately failing. The speed of all of this is disconcerting and it does feel very fast, but consider from a story perspective how deliberate that is. Blitzo can’t schedule a yearly shot for Loona more frequently than every five years, but Andrealphus apparently just needs a brunch hour to pull together an entire ass trial in front of every available Goetia and Sin in Hell. We also don’t actually know when Andrealphus and Stella’s conversation happened, so it’s possible this has been months in the making, but it feels like we would have some indication if that was the case. It’s so much darker and bleaker to realize that all Andrealphus needs to ruin an imp’s life is more or less just a phone call.

Muzzling Loona was just a low blow, though. Like. From a safety standpoint, she has the most natural weaponry there, so it makes sense, but it’s just cruel. I get it, Hell, but still. Yikes.

(CAN WE TALK ABOUT WHY LUCIFER’S SIGIL IS CRACKED??)

And here he is…Satan. Not disappointed by him, especially not by his little relaxation guru (Yogirt omgf), but I do see what Viv meant by his design maybe being less creative or out there compared to, like, Ozzie. And, uh, holy shit, can we talk about the background politics of all of this? There’s just so much, wow, my brain is going absolutely a mile a minute, like—look at the size differentials between the Sins. Lucifer is the smallest, obvi, we stan a short king, but we know that all of the Sins we’ve seen so far have a much larger, more aggressive form. Satan is SO MUCH BIGGER than the rest of them. And he’s presumably in his CASUAL FORM. Size is not an indicator of power but you don’t give a character that size and THAT VOICE and not expect him to be an absolute unit. Likely the strongest Sin present, the one that the other Sins seem to defer to, the self-proclaimed ruler of the dark (and yeah, it was a bit too ambiguous an acting choice to hint that Satan is lying about ruling the dark before Lucifer’s Fall just by Oz and Bee looking grimly up at Lucifer’s empty chair, but with everything going on in this episode, I don’t blame them for not taking the time to make that more clear tbh. There’s always a future episode or short. Or Hazbin Hotel). Crimson would shit himself before ever daring to blackmail Satan. Satan’s name is used in place of God’s in most of the blasphemous swears in this show, except for two very interesting key moments in this very episode. Most interestingly of all, Satan himself is the one who invokes Lucifer’s name on one of these occasions (“What in Lucifer’s Hell is this?” when Stolas hops in to save Blitzo). The other, tellingly, is Stolas, a royal demon who resides in Pride. Y’know, Pride. Lucifer’s ring. Lucifer isn’t the one running the courtroom about to execute Stolas’ beloved, but Lucifer would absolutely be one of the few Sins in that room who could maybe see through what Stolas is doing in trying to take the blame, who MIGHT be even a little bit sympathetic to an impossible love like Stolas and Blitzo’s (to say nothing of Ozzie and Bee), and the ONLY Sin who could interfere with Satan’s judgement. Like. Copyright reasons aside, there is a very real story reason for why Lucifer being in that courtroom might not be a good idea, and I will live with that delusion happily, thank you.

Cannot believe Andrealphus went the rapist angle with Blitzo. It’s so cleverly evil. It’s a multi-purpose motive: first, explain why Stolas isn’t present (didn’t want to make him face his abuser, THE IRONY); second, draw out Blitzo’s fury, bc the madder he is, the less he’s going to be able to articulate (see the “I’d just kill him myself” debacle) and thus less chance of anyone there listening to him; third, to draw Stolas out and make him admit the truth, or at least assume blame. And the ways Andrealphus still just belittles and mocks Stolas even as he’s assuming a concerned brother in law role, the VICTIM BLAMING of it all (“too weak and ashamed to come forward about it” BITCH, also say it louder for every single person who’s been railing about how Stolitz is toxic because one or the other is a rapist, you are literally agreeing with the peacock so far in the closet he thinks pointing out how hot his sister is is what straight people do and he is blending in with the Straights so well by continuing to do that, and on top of that, THE PEACOCK KNOWS HE’S LYING, congrats and maybe consider that more closely). Accusing Blitzo of sexual assault also allows Andrealphus to enforce the class divides, because Blitzo is aberrant in every way an imp isn’t supposed to be: he dares to assault his betters, he dares to run his own business, he dares to steal royal artifacts to access the mortal realm without supervision or restraint, he dares to talk back when accused. He has to paint Blitzo as dangerous, both for Stolas to come to the courtroom and to enforce to the lower classes forced to watch this tripe that this is what happens when an imp steps out of line.

And if Blitzo stepping out of line is the set dressing, then let’s all remember the real reason behind this, the catalyst to Andrealphus’ much-schemed power grab: this is all happening because Stolas slept with an imp. An IMP. Stella called him a treasonous embarrassment over it, raged over it the way she likely would not have had he chosen a more suitable bedwarmer; Andrealphus calls him a deviant freak. The fact that lending out Stolas’ grimoire is a crime on par with sleeping with the lower class really paints what a farce this whole thing is. Because lending out the grimoire? Bad, but if Stolas is being victimized here then at least it makes sense and can be forgiven. Willingly sleeping with an imp? Loving an imp? Unconscionable. Deviant. Unwholesome. Unfit for duties.

Even Oz and Bee catching flak from Mammon about slumming it with the lower classes and getting NO SUPPORT from anyone in the room over it besides each other is so much more than I ever expected Helluva Boss to give us on the class divide front. I worry for this show, because tackling such a heavy and complex topic like that can be really make or break (too little and it’s pandering, too much and it’s not a comedy anymore and we are already straddling that line too hard), but in a lot of ways, pointing out the hypocrisy and the flaws is such a huge part of the battle anyway. Fixing it should be the goal, but…I mean, we can simplify a lot in fiction. Have happy endings and redemptions in fiction that couldn’t ever happen in real life. Fandom and fiction are not activism, but they are important staging grounds for discussion, and I’m so curious about where the discussion is going to go in this show, when the emphasis is so much upon the characters and less the plot and setting (though neither of those are slacking much either).

ALRIGHT TIME TO THROW PHILOSOPHY AND SOCIAL JUSTICE OUT THE WINDOW, VASSAGO IS HERE. I love him. I love his boots. I love him cussing Andrealphus out in Spanish. I love the Harvey Guillen of him. I love how his very existence proves that Stolas isn’t alone, that there are other Goetia—and likely established Goetia—who aren’t blinded by their own importance. I want to know how long he’s been around too, tbh. I want him and Stolas to become wonderful besties. Stolas needs a friend SO BADLY.

Tiny RIP for how the amount of story and character bits that have to be given priority and thus making it so we don’t get to see Asmodeus realizing he’s in the same room as the guy who kidnapped and tried to murder Fizzarolli. We don’t get to see Fizz realizing that the cowboy fuckface who kidnapped him is testifying against his best friend. We don’t get to see Striker taking Bombproof to the vet. Tragic. (Also, is it just me, or is the scar on the wrong eye? It might just be me.)

“We don’t know who wanted Stolas dead” riiiiight, right, right, right, the only people who know that are Stolas, Striker, Stella, and Andrealphus. Right. RIGHT. RIGHT. RIIIIGHT.

OCTAVIA AT LEAST SHOULD FIND OUT SOMEDAY OKAY. LIKE. OUT OF EVERYONE, SHE DESERVES TO KNOW WHAT HER MOTHER DID.

The many ways this trial is so not about justice at all is infuriating, and rightfully so, but the way NO ONE CARES that Striker literally asked for his line and Andrealphus fed it to him is just—it’s so—AAAAUGH.

Also, I love that Satan just…lets them argue. Just straight up lets the other Sins call each other names until he finally gets bored. Because letting Sins do that is a better use of time than letting Blitzo defend himself at all. Because this was all just a show of power, a pageant for the upper class to pat itself on the back over. (Vassago’s thoughtful looks, though. This fight is only just beginning, I can feel it. Satan had the balls to call Stolas out on his hubris, when really it’s his own and absolutely Andrealphus’ that might be about to bring their own castles down around their ears?? NICE.)

SATAN SAYING THIS WILL BE BROADCASTED TO REMIND IMPKIND THAT THE SINS’ POWER CANT BE CHALLENGED AGAIN. FUCKING AGAIN. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN AGAIN. And, specifically, IMPkind. Just the imps. Not all the demons. Just imps. Only imps. Is he saying this because Blitzo’s existence is really that much of a threat to them in this moment, that his alleged actions are that much of a challenge to Hellish authority? Or is there some hidden lore in that proclamation that we’re gonna get in the future? Gosh I hope it’s hidden lore, I would love to know about how much a pain in the ass imps are despite Satan “creating them to be obedient” what the FUCK, Sin of Wrath?? How does that make any sense?

(Moment of silence for how Oz’s hands are tied; he doesn’t have the power to go against Satan’s sentencing, not even for Fizz, and we all know he’d do almost anything for Fizz. But this is the hierarchy of Hell that Ozzie would be challenging, and as high up as he is…I genuinely don’t know if it’s a CAN’T, or a WON’T. It might be both.)

Hang on have to sob about Blitzo telling his family that he loves them before he’s publicly executed on hellwide television.

ONLY TO BE SAVED BY STOLAS OF THE ARS GOETIA, PLAYING THE HERO AND PROTECTING AN IMP. We don’t know how much Stolas knows up until this point, but it’s very likely nothing. He just sees Blitzo about to be executed while channel flipping; if he saw the part where Andrealphus accuses Blitzo of assault, he would have been there so much sooner. Which is why that bit of pageantry was as much for the royals’ benefit as for Stolas’, had he managed to see it.

Now. The Song. The thing giving me goosebumps this very second. Because Stolas is still catching up to the situation, he can’t address the actual concerns regarding himself that Andrealphus laid on the table, but he sure can lay down a total cover to protect Blitzo and negate anything that might possibly have been said. He doesn’t need to know the specifics. Blitzo is about to be executed and the only thing he’s done that would warrant that sort of response is using the grimoire, something Stolas knew was going to get them both into trouble from the beginning. Might as well go whole hog, then, and claim total responsibility. Not only that, but package it to the court in a way that they can understand: Stolas was using the imp for undisclosed nefarious deeds, very evil, very cunning, isn’t he just a mastermind? All of that was public. Everything else in this song that happens under the reversed color palette? That’s inner thoughts, baybee. And I highly doubt that Blitzo and Stolas can hear each other during their duet, what with Stolas keeping his back turned for most of it, and certainly no one else could hear it, but I do think that people in the know about Blitzo and Stolas and their entire messy situation could probably infer it. AND BLITZO SANG. ACTUALLY SANG. HE IS READY TO COMMUNICATE ON THAT EMOTIONAL LEVEL. SO HUGE. Like. Blitzo doesn’t sing. He doesn’t meet the people around him on that level. But he’s been trying lately. He’s been wanting to change, wanting to meet his loved ones at that level, to meet Stolas at that level. Of COURSE it takes staring death in the face for Blitzo to realize that; nobody else in this show can ever have an emotional epiphany under normal circumstances, so why would this be any different? XD But back to my point: Stolas and Blitzo have admitted now to loving each other, but. BUT. I strongly doubt that they admitted it out loud TO each other yet. I could be wrong. But I don’t think I am. I have to gush about how this inner thoughts part of the song visually mirrors both Look My Way and the Truth Seekers hallucination, what with the golden feathers and the water and the cosmos.

“You’re my light.” “You’re my heart.” “And only death can rend our love apart.” FUCK. FUUUUUUUCK. EXCUSE ME, NEED TO GRIND MY FACE INTO SOME DIRT AND WEEP. (Because, again, I do not believe that they heard each other here. They’re in sync, but not together, not yet. But, oh, the beauty of it—Blitzo is the light, the guide, the one who showed Stolas he didn’t have to live in an eternal twilight of misery; Stolas is the heart, the lifeblood, the keeper of Blitzo’s tender emotional side that’s been hurt so much but keeps persisting because protecting the heart is what keeps him alive. And they’ve always known that choosing each other would be dangerous, social and physical death in the worst ways, but living without each other is worse, these BEAUTIFUL MORONS.)

If y’all needed more proof that the emotional aside was not sung for all of Hell to hear: Satan is directly replying to Stolas’ claim of being the mastermind, reminding him and all of Hell that breaking demon law means consequences from the keeper of that law. (All the Sins, even the sympathetic ones, standing up and agreeing that Satan is the Law, I have CHILLS.) If anyone in that room had heard the emotional aside, there’s no doubt in my mind that Blitzo would have been executed simply for the crime of being beloved by a Goetia, to teach Stolas a lesson about his place in the hierarchy and what that means for him to step outside of his box as well. It would have undone all of Stolas’ work to protect Blitzo through belittling and undermining him to the rest of the court. So that devastating emotional aside is just for them, just for Stolas and Blitzo, perhaps passing in a mere moment of eye contact—enough to see each other, to have personal realizations in sync with each other, but not enough time to SAY anything to each other.

Credit where it’s due, Stolas faces death and the begging of his beloved with impeccable poise. Something that I have loved about the Hellaverse is their understated portrayal of suicidal ideation, particularly in Stolas. From his very first musical number assuring his daughter that even if he is gone, SHE will be okay, it’s been a part of his character. He’s been ready to die from a young age. And to die for his beloved? Protecting him? I’m sure Stolas could think of fewer more fitting ends for himself. Because Octavia will be okay. And so will Blitzo. They’ll be okay without him.

BUT TELL THAT TO BLITZO AND HIS TEARS, OKAY, because even as he reunites with his family, he’s vacant-eyed staring into the distance with tears falling down his face because HIS HEART IS ABOUT TO BE EXECUTED. HIS HEART.

Okay in Stolas’ defense, the executioner should not be lifting his axe like that if they aren’t planning to execute him. Ugh I just need to gush about how Stolas truly did not realize that the punishment for him would be different than for Blitzo. He has a lot to work through. A LOT. But. Like. Can we at least give him that his heart is in the right place? That he was willing to die for Blitzo, fully expected nothing less than to take on this burden for his beloved, only to get slapped with banishment instead? HOLY SHIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT RECKLESSNESS AND CONSEQUENCES? Because Andrealphus said all the way back in Western Energy that KILLING STOLAS SHOULD NOT BE THE GOAL. He knew damn well that Stolas was never in any danger of dying here. Stolas isn’t useful to them dead. But STOLAS doesn’t realize this. He has no idea he’s played directly into Andrealphus’ hands until it’s too late. And his own recklessness, his choice of love over duty, comes with a consequence: Octavia. If he had been given time to consider the choice he was really making, I’m not sure Stolas could do it. Blitzo is his light and Octavia is his Starfire. Blitzo reignited his passion for life, but Octavia kept him going when it was darkest. Blitzo is the love he chose against all expectations and rules. Octavia is the love he found in the midst of his duty, and she is inextricably tied to it, at least for now. His love for her sort of blinded him to how sheltered and naïve she is. Fairness to them both, Stella made it a difficult situation, much more difficult than it had to be, and this family situation is messy even without the power grabs and responsibilities and expectations surrounding it all. But to choose love, only to lose family? Gutting. And all too real for many in the audience, I’m sure.

I haven’t listened to Hadestown, but I wish to express my absolute delight at Patrick Page’s gigglefest as Satan. It’s adorable. He’s having fun. You can hear the fun he’s having. I love this show.

Okay okay okay OKAY OKAY OKAY. Ice Princess Andrealphus…uses FIRE…to get rid of Stolas’ chains. I don’t fully understand the implications of that but I would like to circle this scene several times with a red marker and leave at least four post-it notes for future reference. Is he actually using fire magic? Do the chains just react that way when a Goetia touches them to be rid of them? WHAT DOES IT MEAN??? (Also the silly bird expressions Andrealphus has this entire scene is just. Chef’s kiss, no notes, strip the coat off again bc it’s hilarious.)

I notice that despite this all happening according to Andrealphus’ plan…it still doesn’t happen according to plan. Stolas is stripped of his powers, but only temporarily; the rings never converge onto Andrealphus to give him Stolas’ power and legions and resources. It’s like Satan is just storing them for safekeeping (which makes Andrealphus’ wasted coat-ripping all the funnier, holy fuck I love it). Stolas is about to be way more vulnerable than he ever was before, still immortal but not powerful; I wonder what stipulations are in place for if Stolas dies before his sentence is finished, and before Octavia is of age to take on her father’s place? Prediction: Andrealphus now has Stolas in a place where his death would be beneficial. Despite not getting the exact verdict he wanted, Andrealphus still has the upper hand.

Gotta give it to Hell; they don’t waste any time showing Stolas how they feel. I have SO MANY MANY more thoughts about this situation and what it means and what it WILL mean, but let’s get through the rest of this chronology first before I go off the rails. I admit, I saw a thousand fanfics come true in the last ten minutes of this episode, but Stolas getting a Glee Slushy treatment from every other lowborn demon in Hell was not on my bingo card. Stolas, dear thing, once again didn’t think through consequences, because he didn’t expect to have to live through them. This is a very unexpected one, imo. Stolas painted himself the villain. Now he’s touchable and vulnerable and has to live with that. Wow.

The way the rest of IMP seems very spent but also awkward…I cannot wait to dig into that. Because they were the people picking Blitzo up after the fallout, so I can’t imagine they have some warm and fuzzy feelings towards Stolas. Especially not Loona. Though her giving Stolas her own sweater to wear speaks to me that she’s gonna try, because he did save her dad’s life. AND LOONA SAID I LOVE YOU DAD. THE ONLY I LOVE YOU THAT MATTERS RIGHT NOW. And the LOOK on Stolas’ face after it happens?? The realizations, the implications, everything hitting him right now? Like LOL birdy babe you are IN IT now.

Blitzo throwing some casual Spanish words in this episode after the appearance of Vassago. Idk why that’s so funny to me.

And the FUCKING FIREWORKS FOR BLITZO NOT BEING EXECUTED. There’s about to be some class warfare up in here, huh? BRING IT ON, HELLUVA BOSS. I’M EXCITED.

Hang on, obligatory moment to pause and reflect at how pretty Stolas is while he’s devastated, and how sweet Blitzo’s affection towards him is, and ignoring my own uneasiness and sense of impending doom, loving the canon couch fanfics, daydreaming about Secretary Stolas, hold it, hold it—

Got it. Time to ruin my own parade.

Feeling very nervous about the future of Stolas and Blitzo and their relationship right now (they’re endgame but it ain’t the endgame yet lol), because I feel we are just beginning a new phase of shit: Stolas just had his circus fire moment. He doesn’t realize yet just how damaged his relationship with his daughter is, he hasn’t gone through the “slapped in the face by his father and banned from seeing his mutilated best friend” part yet. But he’s in shock, shown best by his pupils not disappearing yet. He’s processing. He’s floating. He’s numb. There will come a break here soon where he has to expel all the venom inside of him, the unfairness of what just occurred, how much he hurts. And a lot of that is going to be him regurgitating some classist internalized shit, some clueless woe-is-me-ness that tbh…at least he isn’t dead. At least that was never on the table. Unlike for CERTAIN BELOVED IMPS. However. To give Stolas grace and put the crock of shit that Stolas has landed in into perspective: Stolas is only to live like a commoner for a century, but he’s a young Goetia with a young daughter to think about. This is destroying him mentally to contemplate. He already thought he had no more stories to be told at the tender age of twenty-three at most; a century is nothing to the immortal royals but it’s everything to an immortal royal who hasn’t even cleared his first half of a century yet. Who hasn’t even hit FORTY yet. No WONDER he’s so shellshocked and listless. One hundred years without Octavia? When they’re both still so young, feel the passage of time so keenly?? You know how to you, an adult, a year passes in a blink, but to a kid, five minutes is an interminable hell? YOU KNOW HOW THE PASSING OF TIME IS WORSE WHEN YOU’VE EXPERIENCED LESS OF IT??

Like again holy shit he isn’t okay at all, and he still doesn’t realize how bad things are still going to get, because the bird had further to fall in this arrangement always. Blitzo gets the raw end of the deal and he dies, like he always expected to (maybe not in a televised public execution holy shit), but his reputation and social worth was always pretty low. Stolas is a prince. Stolas lives on a golden perch. That is a steep fall, baby bird. And now that he’s willingly sacrificed his image for Blitzo, become the bad guy, only to get thrown to the wolves? Andrealphus knew what he was doing and I am positive is going to try to kill him again. He is without powers and without resources. He’s vulnerable as shit.

And the thing which causes me more unease about all of this: their positions are reversed. Socially, Stolas is now the most hated being in Hell while Blitzo has just moved up to most beloved, and that success is more than likely about to affect his tax bracket (or at least what kind of apartment he can afford). Blitzo is soft and caring and protective while Stolas is unresponsive and numb. Blitzo’s relationship with his daughter is thriving while Stolas’ is falling apart. It would be so easy to enter a period of total reversal, where Stolas is rejecting Blitzo’s advances on the grounds that Stolas feels he doesn’t deserve them and Blitzo is somehow lying to him. However. I hope that there is movement forward, instead of reversal and regression (and not just because a full regression would be boring as hell). Blitzo took some important steps; admitting in song that he loves Stolas is HUGE. And nobody changes overnight. This episode likely feels too fast paced and too unearned for many, as it did at first for me, but remember that we don’t know if Stolas and Blitzo could hear each other during their duet; I think not, for reasons I’ve already stated. So no explicit declarations of love have actually happened yet. Blitzo and Stolas aren’t together. They haven’t talked. They are not there yet. They don’t know that they’re emotionally on the same page, because the rest of Stolas’ book just got ripped to shreds before his eyes. Once again, the timing just isn’t right. Blitzo kisses Stolas’ cheek as he sleeps (and kills me dead in my own home), but it’s just another selfie for Blitzo to hoard and look at privately. Blitzo is learning to deal with his shit. Stolas now needs to learn how to deal with his—once the final blow of losing Octavia properly lands. This episode is not an END of their journey; it’s the BEGINNING of the next leg, the next set of circumstances they’re going to have to grow through in order to not just be together, but to BE THEMSELVES.

Blitzo at the beginning of the show could not handle Stolas as he is right now. Blitzo as of Full Moon and Apology Tour couldn’t handle Stolas as he is now. Blitzo had to face losing everything on multiple fronts, then losing Stolas emotionally, then almost losing Stolas physically, before he finally realized not just what he wants, but how he wants to react and treat his loved ones. He loves his family. Stolas is his heart. I think some very cruel and entitled things are going to come out of Stolas’ beak as he adjusts and truly comes to process and realize what being a lower class demon means; I think Blitzo is in a better place to cut through the bullshit and hear the pain and cry for help in the middle of all of that. And I hope to high holy hell that Vassago is going to be a friend to Stolas because there are some revelations Stolas needs to talk himself through without Blitzo taking the brunt of it. Unlearning shit sometimes comes with vomiting up the internalized bigotry and examining it; the would-be victims of that bigotry don’t need to be in the room for that. (And also, I think Vassago is exactly the ally that Stolas needs with the Goetia, and also I love him and want to see him in more scenes and want him to sing and everything.)

Pivoting to Octavia and Stella for a moment: Octavia is a child with a mother who hates her husband more than she loves her daughter and who was prepped and ready to both stop Octavia from running to him and to comfort her when Octavia thought she was losing him for good on live fucking television, no less; the Mother Gothel vibes are off the charts, but Octavia does love her mother. She trusts her mother. She certainly didn’t want her father to die trying to save some weird red dickhead and instead get banished, leaving her behind somewhere Octavia couldn’t follow. She’s vulnerable and about to be manipulated to heck and back by a mother who just wants her ex-husband to suffer and an uncle who wants all of her father’s power for himself. Stella is a shit mother for this manipulation. She can be a shit mother and still love Octavia in her own way. It’s messier and more complicated and realistic than if she didn’t care for her daughter at all tbh.

Obligatory Stella Introspective: Moment of silence for Stella as a character doing everything she can to ruin the man she’s been tied to her literal entire life. Her fucking name is STELLA. She was marked as Stolas’ property from BIRTH. This does not excuse or justify anything she does. I just find it tragic in the way that throwaway character details in a comedy take on a different light when the genre changes to something more serious. Like Davenport in The Adventure Zone: Balance; if you know you know. Also the fact that Andrealphus loosing a pretty impressive show of power right in her face results in her just screaming him back down; she’s a miserable selfish creature who nevertheless found her power in a world pretty set on denying her any and uses it liberally. Of course her own daughter is just another avenue for hurting Stolas. Octavia was only ever a means to an end, a failsafe in case something happened to Stolas. But she’s still Stella’s daughter, and that has meaning, even if it isn’t a healthy or good meaning.

Can we also talk about the fact that it’s entirely likely that Stella’s looks are the only positive trait that Andrealphus can attribute to her because the rest of her personality is so well-known? What’s he gonna do, call her sweet or delicate or kind? He’d be laughed out of the courtroom. Everyone there knows that Stella is none of those things. She never tries to be anything but what she is. The fact that she punishes Stolas for trying so hard when she doesn’t have to try at all is just. It’s so twisted and juicy a dynamic. Yknow? They could have been friends. Two people trapped by social convention in a marriage and forced consummation to produce an heir, likely arranged from birth, or Stella’s birth at least, because again SHE IS LITERALLY NAMED AFTER HIM, or named after something deeply related to him (the stars, in case I’m being too opaque). Instead, she’s cruel and demanding and degrading and the personification of everything Stolas struggles against in royal society. This sweet bird bowed to imps as a child; someone with so egalitarian a view was never going to have Stella’s respect. She is the embodiment too of his own self-hatred and the disapproval of his own family; the tragedy of it all. I hope we get more details about her one day entirely separate from Stolas, but she is explicitly a plot device to challenge and hurt Stolas. Plot devices don’t often get their own stories. She’s literally only ever worth her pretty face and the hurt she causes. This too is tragic. I pity her. I’d pity her more if she wasn’t using her daughter as ammo against her ex-husband.

Anyway. Stella introspective over. I wonder how complicated it’s going to be for Stolas to try and be the IMP secretary when he can’t go four feet without someone throwing goo at him. I wonder how badly it’s going to hurt me when Octavia refuses to see Stolas and he finally hits absolute rock bottom. I wonder if this show is going to go the route of “can’t be together until they’re finished growing” or the route of “they love each other, let them grow into themselves and their relationship together.” I wonder how the cosplayers are going to get them Vassago boots high enough. I wonder how many Andrealphus cosplayers and artists are going to be making the “Grandmama, it’s me, Anastasia” joke. I wonder if I’m ever going to stop clutching my Blitzo and Stolas plushies to my chest.

One more episode in December, gang! Can’t wait to ugly cry with you all!!

[herefortarlos]

hey desi! it's nice ask week, i hope you're well and don't mind me coming into your inbox :)

what's your favorite lone star episode?

who is your all time comfort character?

what's your favorite song/album right now?

Hello my sweetest, Rachel 💖!! Sweetie, the day I mind you coming into my inbox will be the day I am no longer a pansexual liberal, so not a chance of that ever happening 😂.

Ohh why would you ask me that!! Okay, favorite overall Lone Star episode, and not just for 1 or 2 scenes, has to be 3x13 "Riddle of the Sphynx". That episode just gave us sooo much good Tarlos! We got supportive and jealous/sassy and then understanding Carlos. We got TK attending meetings and doing what he has to do to take care of himself! We got so much tarlos physical affection and that amazing dining table scene!! I recently watched that episode again and that scene blows me away every time, Ronen and Rafa acted their butts off! We get tarlos communicating, even if it's messy communication at first, and so many iconic lines!! "It feels like he's getting pieces of you that I don't" "You don't want those pieces" "I do, I want all of it" "You have all of me, Carlos." Just throw me off a bridge why don't you 🥲, and it's one of the few episodes where I know all the tarlos dialogue word for word. @heartstringsduet are you proud of me 😊. Then TK being affected in the field and being depressed about his own mom, looking at photos telling Carlos, "I'd give anything to feel like that again", and Carlos realizes he is in way over his head and that this isn't about him, it's about TK and what he needs so Carlos gets over that insecurity and reaches out and makes sure TK has the support he needs 🥹 And then the infamous "I love you" with TK "Heart Eyes" Strand and Carlos' understanding "I know." Every tarlos scene in this from beginning to end of episode is amazing and impactful and leaves me an emotional mess every time I watch it 💖

who is your all time comfort character?

All time comfort character you ask? 🤔 After thinking about all the fandoms I've enjoyed and been a part of over the years, please don't come at me for saying the obvious of TK 😅. He's the first live action character that I have loved this much, and there are so many reasons for that! One of the biggest being how he has been through so much hardship in his life but he is so unselfish and sees the best in people and still has so much love to give!! He is sunshine personified but he is still very much a real person with flaws and baggage, but he is constantly working to take care of himself and be a better person! I've had similar, not exact of course, experiences in my own life and have come out the other side better for it! It took a lot of time of course and I needed to be in a place where I had the power to make my own decisions and I love that about TK too, that the show constantly shows that his decisions to get better have ultimately been his own! And him being an openly gay character who is proud of his sexuality was primarily what drew me to him and the show in the first place 🥰

what's your favorite song/album right now?

Ohh always love a music question! Haha and probably not what you're expecting but my favorite album lately has been Bo Burnham's "Inside (Deluxe)" edition. It's such a fantastic special and I watched the deleted scenes not too long ago and have not been able to stop listening to "Five Years". The chorus is so damn catchy and I wish it was longer and the line "Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around" makes me laugh every time 🤣.

[lovebvni]

Hey sorry to bother you, and be warned this is a LONG ask, but you seem like a cool person and i want your help with a weird experience I just had.

today I was looking at photos of liminal spaces and weirdcore stuff because it's my current obsession, and I decided it would be fun to walk around in these places. So I laid down and meditated and did some Wim Hof breathing, and then I visualized myself walking around in a weirdcore-ish house. I really vividly remember everything, like the cracks in the walls and the really dirty floor. I was like "holy shit this is amazing I'm doing weirdcore in real life". I walked around some more, and I was just touching everything and using all of my senses, like I could hear the TV static and I could smell musty carpet and so on. But then, something really weird happened.

I heard a noise like a little kid crying, so I went over and found a little boy with a messed-up face hiding in a closet. He was clearly very upset, and I was confused. He told me his name was Keith and his parents abandoned him in this house, and I guess he was left behind and he died? Anyways so I helped him, and he showed me his toys and stuff, and he had a basket of beanie babies, except now they were all moldy. He showed me where his body was too. I'm not going to get into the details, but it was horrifying.

Then we went outside, and there were trees everywhere. Keith told me that now that I had found him, he was at peace, and then he said goodbye and disappeared into a glowing blur in the sky.

At that point i suddenly sat up, and I was back in my bedroom. Does anyone know what happened?? I'm overwhelmed rn and honestly kind of scared. I don't think I shifted, and I was definitely awake. Please give me some advice, I need someone to explain what the f just happened to me.

okay, first of all, wow.. i’m very shocked by this. i haven’t heard anything like this before and honestly my intuition isn’t clarifying if this was a dream or a shift — but the specific detail about his face being messed up makes me feel like it was some sort of lucid dream.

augh!! i wish i was able to help more and as for sure, but let’s interpret it both ways.

first of all, if it was a dream, this is something that is connecting to her you personally. keith could represent your inner child, or something or someone in your mind who you have been struggling with.

if your past was hard, if you feel abandoned by your parents, then the inner child thing would make the most sense. him showing you thinks that are old and moldy… and even his body… i feel like that represents the inability to let go of the past. molding usually means you don’t get to the root of the issue, and a dead body being left… well it wasn’t cleaned up and buried properly. it wasn’t a grave, it was (what seems to be) a murder sight.

but also the fact he was inside.. it reminds me of inside by bo burnham. “well well, look who’s inside again / went out to look for a reason to hide again / well well buddy you find out / so come out with your hands up we got you surrounded.”

it feels like he realized it was finally time to confront everything, so he brought you — someone he could trust or lean on— through his life to try and explain it. he was scared, but he needed it.

he wanted a friend, and you’re that friend for him. when saying one is "at peace" it usually means they have come to terms with their sadness or anger, they can let go fo it, it is no longer a burdnen or something that holds them back. it is simply something that happened in the past.

i also got the idea that this could have been somes sort of vision. so.. do with that what you will. with this being you shifting, that possiblty, it could say you are some sort of spiritual guide for someone. the previous interpretations apply. i hope this helps you, and if you have any other like... info? like even if its graphic, i would love to hear it so we can try to figure it out!

love u anon!

[viviennevermillion]

Sampo's Journey • Playlist

link to the youtube playlist

in celebration of the new sampo lore drops, i made this. i had to pitch it down due to youtube copyright as with all my playlists but this is how i figured out that "the main character", the song i associate most with sampo, actually sounds like him singing this way. sampo nation this is for you

1. The Greatest Show — The Greatest Showman

so tell me, do you wanna go? where it's covered in all the colored lights? where the runaways are runnin' the night? impossible comes true, it's takin' over you; oh, this is the greatest show. we light it up, we won't come down and the sun can't stop us now.

2. The Main Character — Will Wood

so, god forbid i'm seen just as an average human being. i mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene. i'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy; don't come at me. [...] her majesty says "the royal we demand a standard of loyalty; an agreement to be reverent, lick the emperor's new boots". the court fool got the guillotine, the witches the stake, you the dopamine

3. Why So Serious? — Alice Merton

oh, seems we've lost it; that spark inside that tells us it's all nonsense. stop being so cautious. with every mistake, there comes a lesson learned. so someone tell me: why so serious? why we so serious? when did we get like this?

4. Dancing Through Life — Wicked

dancing through life, skimming the surface, gliding where turf is smooth. life's more painless for the brainless. why think too hard when it's so soothing?

5. Steal From Corporations — HummusVacuum

sometimes you've gotta steal from corporations! it's your civil obligation. theft is impolite, but water's kinda tight and if you get caught just use the powers of persuasion

6. The Reckless & The Brave — All Time Low

i realized that i didn't fit in, didn't hate, but I didn't quite relate it to my precious little world. so long live the reckless and the brave; i don't think i wanna be saved. my song has not been sung. and long live the fast times, so come what may. i don't think we'll ever be saved, our song has not been sung. long live us

7. Comedy — Bo Burnham

healing the world with comedy. making a literal difference, metaphorically. and yes, most likely, they'll pay me, but I'd do it for free. i am healing the world with comedy. if you wake up in a house that's full of smoke: don't panic. call me, and i'll tell you a joke

8. All Star — Smash Mouth

she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "l" on her forehead. well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming; fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. didn't make sense not to live for fun.

9. Just Like Fire — Pink

just like fire, burning up the way if i can light the world up for just one day. watch this madness, colorful charade! no one can be just like me anyway. just like magic, i'll be flying free; i'ma disappear when they come for me

10. Don't Stop Me Now — Queen

tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time. i feel alive and the world i'll turn it inside out, yeah. i'm floating around in ecstasy. so, don't stop me now.

[fadeawaywithyou]

immediate first reviews of the (non-nightcore) Mammalian Sighing Reflex album from Wilbur!

spoilers below if you haven't listened to his album! I really like it! Also, I'm not looking into lyrics online just yet, it's very late and if I do that I won't sleep cause it'll just consume my mind for hours.

-Amazon Standing Lamp: I love the guitar here and I laughed when it took me about 5 seconds to realize the higher voice isn't a woman, but actually Wilbur Soot singing alongside himself. He's sampling something at the end I don't know.

-Mine/Yours: The lyrics about kissing like a job and tongue and teeth *mwah* and the last line ohhhhhhh boy. The beat reminds me of a beating heart.

-Around the Pomegranate: the instrumental at 30 seconds in is SO GOOD the beat with the distorted voice is so fun. i can make out the lines "no one else can save you" and "nowhere you [can?] return to". This whole song is very fun despite the lyrics and meaning. It's just a very experimental. I like when the music gets very loud. Speaking of the lyrics the ending where Wilbur says he wants to feel normal again is just...I'm gonna go lay on the floor.

-I Don't Think It Will Ever End: Again with the experimental music! It kinda immediately reminds me of that part in Bo Burnham's Inside, the song "All Eyes On Me" where he has a mid-song monologue. It is very interesting in a meta-sense due to the comparison I can't help but make between this and Wilbur's streams. Where he's got a "chat" or audience responding to him in a cheery voice no matter what he says.

-Glass Chalet: I like the scratchy feeling in the instrumental. He's throwing stones in a Glass Chalet, which according to google is like a fancy type of cabin found in the mountains (the alps, specifically?). Also, I love the sampling he's doing with the talking at the end.

-Melatonin 130: I like the distorted voice at the end. He's really experimenting with this album and I'll keep saying it because I love it! I love the ending lyrics about everyone hoping you fail and the apes with coloring books, I think he said?

-Oh Distant You: The music takes up most of this song, instead of the lyrics, but what is sung is very nice.

-Eulogy: One of the lyrics hits very close to home. Not in a good way, but not in a bad way either. I guess it'll depend on the day I listen to the song. It's a good song. I like it a lot.

-Dropshipped Cat Shirt: The distortion kinda reminds me of those hyperpop songs that went viral on tiktok back in 2020 and it's very new to hear it used in this way with these lyrics and the general tone of the music. The last line! God, what is it with this album and the final couple of lines that hit me upside the head? I just need someone to tell me I'm tired???? God DAMN. shit...

-The Median: Very good. I like these shorter songs in between full-length songs. It's just a minute long but I really like it.

-Trying Not To Think About It: The lines about romance and marriage...man that's relatable. this is probably gonna be my favorite song. And then the rest of the song just.../pos but ooooooof

-10 Week Rule: It's a good song. Was NOT expecting that line in the chorus, which I'll let people reading this find out themselves.

Overall, this is an excellent album! I really love it and I will be listening to it constantly. This gives me the same feelings that YCGMA gave me, while still staying very distinct. It's not more POLISHED than ycgma, but it's clearly made with Wilbur's more improved skills in music making. (there is a word for this i can't remember rn)

I'm gonna commit to picking a favorite song after a couple more listens, but so far I really like Trying Not To Think About It and Around the Promegrante. This is a very creative album and I'm glad he's experimenting here. This doesn't sound like Lovejoy, and I'm super happy. It's unique, it's fun, and it's sad!

[lillyspeakz]

Okayyy I'm finally back

My favourite songs are definately Amazon standing lamp, i resonate too much with it. It really felt like there was no hope. The line "my girls the world she fucks my life" reminded me of how I feel, bc i really loved that person so much I would literally do anything for them to the point I'll forget what my life was all about bc i care too much about them, yet i don't give a damn about how my charecter was breaking bit by bit, through constant arguments day and night it was exhausting. "Hit me now before this gets too cute" is another line bc, with my partner it would either be extremely love bombing or extream torment to the point I'm being shamed for doing something not their way. "But your right there's so much shit inside my mind I must confess a second time, alot of friends have left my life", this bc they kept telling that the reason I get mad, or the way I don't act the way I do, is bc i" was not in my senses', a lot of friend s did leave my life bc i stopped interacting with them cuz according to them they were toxic...or whatever

Around the pomegranate is my top favourite bc i kinda felt the same way after it all ended. And the part where the extra music hits and Wilbur is screaming just makes me realise how much fucked up is "fucks up" really meant.

I also loved (and kinda hated) I don't think it will ever end.

The reason I love it is cuz this is how I talk to myself alot of the time, and the voices in the back of my brain always feel like they are making fun of me (yk just like how Wilbur is saying i get silly and the high pitch voices are kinda making fun of him). Yk when your partner constantly hates you/shames you/ makes you feel like your the bad guy, makes you think that you yourself are the bad guy, you start to believe it and in doing that you creat more self hatred towards yourself, that you don't even deserve. At the end of the song Wilbur quotes down, it just means that no one wanted to listen to what he has going on. And in personal experience the same thing happened to me. My problems my mental health never matters, it's always about them them them. When I feel down, they would take an example of themselves and be like yea but then i got better so, your not alone. Which ig is sweet but, it never really gives a solution to what i must do, nor does it give me a shoulder to cry on like they promised

The reason why I hate the song as well is bc OF FICKING BO BURNHAM!/j

Bo Burnham 2 songs "ATL" and " it'll stop any day now" this song is literally the baby blog these two other songs. Which i Actually thing is funny, and i don't really hate it that much as u expect. And ofcourse, Wilbur is a huge fan of bo Burnham I'm sure we all remember right?

Imm sending another ask after ending this one

^^^

Posting these so I can answer later, I’m can’t really speak

[its-no-biggie]

okay i saw someone who interpreted bo burnham's "all eyes on me" as being about his desire to return to performing, and found that i didnt agree at all. but i also found that i didn't know what the song is about, so i listened to it a few more times and compiled my thoughts.

cause like, first of all, he uses a LOT of religious language. its like he's leading a church service. and that COULD be my christian background talking, but: "get your hands up" "get out of your seats" "heads down, pray for me" "come on in, the water's fine" (that last one is a pretty normal turn of phrase but combined with the other stuff it really evokes baptism. at least in my opinion). and of course, the style of the song: slow, heavy on repetition, gradual build to a strong emotional resolution, HEAVY on reverb and layered vocals..... it legitimately sounds more like a worship song than the songs my mom sings at church.

and i think the core message of it is essentially "dont think about it, just follow me". especially with the bit about "you say the ocean's rising, like i give a shit" ending with "got it, good, now get inside"? and also stuff like "dont overthink this, look in my eye, dont be scared dont be shy" etc etc. its like its saying shhhhh just don't think about it. come with me, we'll stay inside and it'll be okay.

but there's also the rant in the middle about getting back to performing. to me it does NOT come across like "i want to get back to performing but i'm stuck inside", it sounds more like "i was SO CLOSE to being back to normal and now look where we are!" which is kind of the opposite of what the song is saying (everything is fine), but thats intentional! because like. he knows the message he's singing is bullshit. it's NOT okay. the world IS ending. you can tell that theres dissonance between himself and his pretend audience because of the laugh track that plays during that rant. things like panic attacks and the world shutting down are funny if theyre not your reality. but theyre still HIS reality, no matter how much he wants to pretend. theres also the way he gets kinda unhinged at the end, yelling at the listener to "get the FUCK UP!" and his manic little laugh. dont think about it, dont question it, because i know its not true, but if we acknowledge the truth, that makes it real. it's easier to just stay inside.

i could get WAY more into how this mirrors religion, but i feel like i've made my point and this post is already long enough. but its soooooo good, i LOVE the parallels and the way it strengthens the message of the song. idk how much of it was intentional but i'm obsessed with it.

anyway. i could be reading into it too much, but i feel like this interpretation really ties the whole show together. i'd love to hear any different perspectives!

also if youre wondering why i'm bo burnham posting in 2023.....

[marlenacantswim]

graeme is so delicate and precious;;; i feel like he'd grow out of an itty flower like thumbilina. he is like one of those porcelain little statues of children and puppies you see in your grandma's cabinets to me. jack from fantastic fear of everything is like a sock puppet but specifically in the way Socko from Bo Burnham's Inside was. jooles is my husband. we've been happily married for years. is this still making sense? i feel like i'm losing you. i have no clue what dennis is to me,,, i'd say he's somewhere between a useless trinket your aunt you've never met gets you for your birthday and a large decorative stone with couples' initials painted on it. he's like the most adam sandler simon pegg character. stop me if this is getting too complicated.

[sir-arlieosaurus-lung-struggler]

the holidays are always really fucking weird, i dont like many of them but specifically December is just- ew

Anyway ill just thro my mini pitty party real quick:

These song explains how I feel about christmas time *perfectly*

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas by mother mother (christmas playlist)

From heres basically a trauma dump about being in the hospital, but i typically talk about this in a tone more like "oh yea! i nearly died lmao"

When i was like, just turning 6 I had 💫pneumonia💫 & needed to go to the 💫hospital💫. So I spent like, 12/11-31/15 in the hospital. along the way i had these treats happen (not really in order, 💜=story from family member, ❤=i actually remember this)

💜being diagnosed by my sisters 16 yo boyfriend by looking at my gums, whereas medical staff took 4 days

❤Some mcdonalds, cool auntys banana bread, jello & making popin cookin sets w/ my older sister

💜a 5 day medically induced coma

lung surgery therefor cool fuckin scars on my back (WHICH I CANT FUCKING SHOW ANYONE CAUSE I WAS CURSED W/ TITS AND 2/3 ARE UNDER MY BRA)

💜waking up from said coma periodically only to say "im scared" w/ my mom trying to comfort me but i had ear shit going on

💜Finnaly actually woke up, yelled "IM DEAD", which is reportadly the scariest shit my dad has ever heard, my mom asks if i hurt, i say yes, she like "ur not dead honey" again i was 6 & in & out of a coma 😂 (idk why but I've always found that story funny)

💜my parents being thretened w/ truancy by my dumbass school

❤Christmas, I had *2* mini christmas trees in my hospital room 💅 1 was cool but my cool uncle & aunty got me a pink 1 which I still have to this day as a lamp

💜only trusting 1 of my doctors cause he looked like my grandfather who'd been deceased for 2years at that point

❤💜going on walks around the kids floor in a wheelchair & stealing a little gingerbread beanie baby ornament but they didnt care so they just let me keep it & i still have it somehwere.

💜my mom met a lady who had a son who was a few months old & they didnt expect to live past a couple weeks but he *did* (more on that later)

💜had food in the cafeteria and i proceeded to rub the pizza i got *into my hair*. My response? "Its just cheese" my family and I quote that to this day lmao.

💜being reverted to a toddler for a good minute (someone asked my age i said i was 3, i was not) & needing to relearn walking, talking, the little bit of reading i knew & getting into a shower w/out being scared of being pulled down the drain

❤said dude who asked my age worked at the hospital cafeteria & we visited him after most of my appointments. miss u uncle (that was what he went by), wish u well. Dont know where he since covid cause the part of the building cafeteria was in was torn down.

❤and after all that later and i got releaced on new years eve :>

results:

From there forward i had a 20-30minute nebulizer to do every 4 hours (which my parents had to wake up at like 2am for a half hour for), 2 twice daily inhailers, 2 nasil sprays, "the tire" (tastes like shit and makes me feel anxious) (that isnt even all of it my mom counted 8 meds at one point) and i slowly dropped them year by year till they had me down to just rescue inhailer as needed & if my lungs r really shit for a min i go on the tire. (Tire=prednisolone but what 6 year old is remembering that name lol)

specialist appointments every week, then 2 weeks, then every month, 3 months, 6 months, now im at checkup every year and check in as needed

"Look whos inside again" by bo burnham is my life in a nutshell

To this day the smell of a consentrated area of hand sanatizer just has me stop in my tracks lol.

seeing a picture of tiny me on my parents facebook feed yearly of me unconscious in a hospital bed w/ tubes in mah face

couple of close friend i met post hospital (keep in mind i was like 7) didn't believe me so i ran around the playground cursing them the fuck out (never did get in trouble for that 😂) ((I still talk to 1 of them shes cool))

Idk where to put this but about that kid I was talking about before, I found out last year around this time he had just died- of 💫pneumonia💫. yea that fucked me up for a good minute, he was around 6 too which didn't help, I never even met the kid and I still had a weird form of survivors guilt.

Anyway have a merry fucking christmas i really dont get this holiday lol, treat yourself kindly, feel free to be the grinch you are and explain in detail why u hate the holidays u arent alone lol

[standupcomedyhistorian]

Good morning, everyone!

It is Bo Burnham's 33rd birthday today! 🥳

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BO! You've got seven more years to go per your last birthday song haha 😉

It is also my last day in my intensive therapy program. I feel SO much lighter and happier than when I started. I never thought it was possible! 🥰

I just wanted to again thank everyone who's supported me through the HARDEST month of my entire life.

The combination of being suicidal and then my ex asking for divorce on July 26th—one day after I was admitted to the psych ward—felt like the world was collapsing around me.

But I found the strength to open up during group sessions (EVERYONE at the hospital knew I love Bo's stuff haha), and some very special people there gave me the courage to go on living. Thank you, Alexia, for playing Bo's music in the gym and Donte for giving me a soft fleece blanket (the sheets were SO itchy) so I could finally sleep again.

Special shout-out to my sister. Jill has been there for me since we were kids (she's 4 years younger than me), and we've weathered the same shit from our awful parents and both have complex trauma because of it. I'm more sensitive than her in general and internalize things, but she sent me two videos that changed my whole perspective.

The first was Brent Charleton and his chart of the Ego States. This helped me reconfigure how my thinking was constantly making things worse in life. I'm basically a teenager learning to be an adult in my mind, and that is OKAY. I am learning to heal my wounded inner child, and she is thankful for the emotional support when she had none from her narcissistic mother and enabling father growing up.

The second was Tim Fletcher's series on shame. This is incredibly hard to watch (I recommend taking as many breaks as you need), but I promise you it gets SO much better when you let go of shame. All shame does is make us feel miserable...it is SO not worth it to live that way!

I know this all sounds like nonsense to most of you, but I was ready to kill myself because the intrusive thoughts had become unbearable. If you're at that state too, please watch one of these videos—I PROMISE it can get better 🌈

What made me realize my self-worth was watching my interview with Quentin Stuckey about my website. I could hardly believe that I could APPEAR that personable and happy when I was secretly dying inside.

Thank you so much, Quentin, for giving me the opportunity to be on your podcast, and I hope the weather gets better in Europe soon! 💗

And, last but not least, I have a brand-new interview with one of the most creative and inspirational Bo content creators I've had the pleasure of talking to: Dylan Case.

Please make it a priority to watch his 38-minute parody of Inside here—he is an absolute GEM and I will support his comedy career in any way I can! 🙌🏼

Thanks, everyone. I didn't think I would still be here on July 25th, but I'm glad I stayed. ✌🏼🐔