#it made self aware references any time it was bringing up things up it did not address but should have

[n3ptoonz]

Love your work babe!

Figured I send some ideas over!

Asking johnny to fuck you from behind for the first time, like being nervous and asking him to bend you over and take you how he wants!

puts on sunglasses and flashes smile thank you, thank you very much

'Suga Baby'

Pairing: SugarDaddy!Johnny Cage/F!Reader

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 1 (2023)

Warnings/tags: Smut; Explicit, mirror sex, creampie/breeding kink, use of "princess" "baby girl" "good girl" "doll" and "baby", scent kink if you squint, prob my first time ever using the word 'pussy' in a fic, reader a lil shy, COCKY JOHNNY CAGE, doggy style/backshots, the only "she" used here is in reference to reader's vag LMAOO, dirty talk, sorry for any typos or unedited indicators

shoutout @igotcaged for the sugar daddy idea 😝 thought i'd double it 😼

Word count: 1.4k

what i was envisioning while writing 🫦:

Finally, some down time with your favorite man ever: Johnny Cage. AKA your sugar daddy of 7 months now. Who would've thought your days as a waitress would be cut so short when one of your favorite actors dropped in after winning a few big awards? He did. It had been his mission ever since his divorce to make the hottest woman he could find his sugar baby. He fucking loved spoiling people, so why not include you?

Truth be told it was no bother that he would do what he wants for however long since you would still get a weekly allowance. Though...you did want to celebrate his latest self-directed film "Mortal Kombat", which by the way, smash hit, winning Movie of the Year with him. In the 7 months of living with him in his mansion, you two only ever got to be intimate like twice. He was always busy with production, meet and greets, script writing, and protecting Earthrealm. He barely had time to wink at himself and pose in the mirror!

So tonight he comes home, a little tipsy he'll admit, but aware enough since he's not drunk. He was about to start rambling about a myriad of things when he was stopped in his tracks by the beautiful sight of you leaning against the back of the couch in his Versace robe and the lingerie he bought you for your birthday--how convenient that it matched what he was wearing tonight at the awards. He could smell a bit of the perfume you liked to wear lingering around the living room mixing with the faint smell of his favorite cologne on the robe too.

It was...intoxicating.

"Somebody was eager for me to come home..." he teased, slowly walking up to you and wrapping his arms around you. "You never told me there was another after party."

You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. Bringing up one of your hands you pulled his face closer so you could look him in the eyes. "Well, that would've ruined the surprise now wouldn't it?" you replied. Next thing you know you could feel him pick you up and throw you over his shoulder, palm over your ass and all. His sudden determination had you giggling and smiling.

He moved with vigor and intent to his massive bedroom in hopes you also were just as eager to fuck him like he was with you. The way your breasts sat to the way your thighs made the fabric of the garters stretch just a tad brought all together with that perfume...you'd think he was a starving lion released from its cage (no pun intended).

Your back gently hit the cool satin linens of his king sized bed. The mixing temperatures of that with his hot kisses all over your jaw already had your vision fuzzy. You gasped and bit your lip so you wouldn't be so loud as he just got started, but him realizing that only gassed him up more.

"Johnny..." you softly whined in his ear. Your nails were subconsciously dragging against his prized biceps as the thought had crept into your head. You wanted back shots. Though the nervousness started to appear since again, you've only gotten intimate twice, and both times were nearly rushed in a semi public setting for the fun of risk--and one of those times was you giving him some bomb ass head.

This time you needed him to bend you over and do with you what he wanted to. Especially now that you two have all the time in the world.

Johnny lifted his head to see the slight plea in your eyes, wondering what's going on behind those eyes. He grabbed your waist and pulled you into his lap. "Don't be shy, princess, tell me what's on your mind." he said, dragging his surprisingly soft fingers gently up and down your torso and eventually gripping your ass--he's obsessed with how the fabric feels, especially with you wearing it.

His gaze from under you was making you even more nervous. You really didn't expect to be so close with him, let alone be sitting in his lap and telling him what you want. Besides money, of course.

"Do you think you could...fuck me from behind this time?" you said. You tried to mask most of your nerves by leaning down towards him, the bra part of your lingerie nearly giving out over his face, and grinding your hips down onto his growing if not full erection. "And no, the quickie at that party two weeks ago doesn't count. I want you to-"

--

"-'fuck you like I own you', was it? To bend you over in front of this mirror and watch your eyes roll back from how fuckin' hot you look taking all of me? Aw, you're so good for me, doll."

Johnny was no poser. For the most part, what you see is what you get. In this context, he has every right to channel this side of him. There you were on your hands and knees on the bed, barely being able to focus on how either of you look as he shamelessly watched your back arch so he could keep hitting that same angle that made you see stars.

You loudly moaned and bit your lip again. It was drawn out and matched his pace with every thrust that connected. He fell in love with the growing sound of your pussy getting louder with every pump. Your slick was running down your thighs the wetter you got and Johnny was just silently thanking the elder gods above only he got to see such a view. He was just getting turned on more by the second since he could also get a look at himself and you in the mirror.

"Shit, have I kept you waiting too long? I'm sorry, baby girl. I wish you would've told me she was begging for me." he said. The "she" in question being exactly what you thought it was. "Look at that...she was made for me." he continued. He gestured to the feeling of you clenching around him in response to his dirty talk. It really has felt like it's been too long, but he was surely making up for it.

"Harder...slower...please..." you groaned out. You so badly wanted to get the most out of this as much as you could. He let go of your hair and placed his hands on your hips, stilling his movements without pulling out. He leaned down next to your ear and said,

"Whatever you want, baby."

And from there, you could feel him in your stomach. He made sure to keep pulling back and pushing forward hit that spot he knew could get you to be more vocal. So far you were mostly just whines and soft moans of approval, but damn it he fucking loved how you sounded when you weren't able to contain yourself.

"I know, babe, I know it's big." he muttered, but loud enough for you to be able to make out his words. "But I know you can take it. Be a good- agh" he inhaled sharply in between sentences.  "-girl for me- ...yeah? Fuck..."

He silently cursed to himself as he could feel himself about to cum. You had such an effect on him already, but the tears and sweat making you shine had him ready to be a damn father. And honestly in this moment in time, he wouldn't even mind.

You buried your face into the mattress the closer you got to cumming. He could overhear you say you were about to even if your words were slurred and muffled. His grip around your hips got tighter as he picked up the pace again, begging you to let him cum inside. All you could get out was a loud muffled array of whines in agreement. You both needed this carnally, and he was in no opposition to it.

As he shot his thick warm seed against your walls, it didn't take long for it to start spilling out onto the back of your thighs. You came right after him and loudly moaned to your heart's content. Hands gripping the sheets and tears rolling freely down your face. It took him a bit before he stilled his moments because he couldn't stop getting turned on. Your muffled screams of pleasure were music to his ears.

He pulled out and watched it drip out of you and let me tell you, nobody has ever seen him grin wider in his life. You sat up as you tried to calmed down, watching yourself pant and tiredly smile in the mirror. He leaned down and kissed your neck a few times while wrapping his arms around your waist before muttering with a smirk,

"I hope it's a girl."

[cipheramnesia]

Re: your tags, I don't think this is going off the rails, and it's sort of interesting to me that what you're describing reflects similar to my experience (I was not depressed, but I was and still am baffled [well, maybe a little depressed - I cannot get over how unpleasant Ken's characterization was]), but it also raises an interesting point of nuance.

That is, there's the usual uniformed alt right critics who just hate anything that breathes near a woman, obviously there's not any nuance to that. However, generally speaking the crux of both people who love the movie and people with actual negative feedback (not just knee jerk reactivism) is the issue of nuance. Both groups seem to agree nuance is key but people who liked it feel criticism lacks nuance, while people who did not like the movie find it suffers from a lack of nuance.

There's different ways to approach the question - for example it's possible to argue that having these conversations represents the intended effect of the movie. I don't believe that to be the case, but it's a fair interpretation. It's arguable that the movie literally makes it's thesis statement in Gloria's monologue and intends the rest of the movie, whole cloth, as demonstrating this thesis. Which, I don't think it does, but also that's a valid interpretation - which is kinda the whole point of criticism, not to come to a right opinion, but to have a discussion about art.

On the third side, I find it weighs heavily that the response to negative criticism is either that we were thinking to much about a fun lighthearted movie or that we just didn't have the nuance to understand it. It's a scab I really need to stop picking at.

I mean saying the movie supported men's rights kind of ignores that what the kens did was painted as bad. Like that was very much the message of the film

That was the text of the film but not the message.

I'm not going to apply greater nuanced analysis to a movie that had all coherent structure papered over in producer notes. But for a movie that spends a lot of time pointing out situations that are unfair, not equal, or "bad" it didn't have anything to say about why or what might actually resolve the inequality.

Not saying it needs to author the revolution or anything, just it kinda stopped at "patriarchy bad because men rule all and are dumb boys who are gross" and I think that's boring? It's like hey, inequality sure is bad! And it seems like weird and wrong the girl empowerment doll for diverse women is exclusively developed by old white men! Followed by crickets chirping.

I was kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop, like yes, this is a pretty fun satirical look at gender and... and..? And that's it. Barbie world goes back to hierarchical control in a perfect utopia. The real world is unaffected because all those executives are just silly guys who are trying their best. Gloria gets to be a good mom, and hands her ideas over to the corporation. The new line of Barbies are Barbies that just don't want anything at all. And Margot Barbie just leaves.

Which is unfortunate because it starts out with a great deal of very interesting ideas, but ends up without anything much to say at all. It uses all the right words but mostly just kinda ascribes broad universal meaning and morality rather than considering any of it could have some underlying complexity.

We all know feminism can't hold hands with capitalism, but the Barbie movie wants the cache of the feminist movement beholden to the bottom line of Mattel's investors. And as a fun movie about children's dolls it's fine, but it's also selling itself as a feminist film, which it very much is not.

[rabarbarzcukrem]

The eternal opposing relationship between the two sides of a mirror

or: In defense of Shiori

I feel like Shiori is one of the most controversial characters in Utena. Some love her, others despise her. And I don't have a problem with people having strong opinions on her character. What bothers me is the tendency to exaggerate her most negative traits, focus on her most harmful actions, completely ignore any redeeming qualities she might have and then paint her as a one dimensional villainous caricature, a mean straight girl who plays with the lesbian's feelings for the sake of it, without anything deeper going on.

I'm aware of the fact that some people refer to her like that in endearment or in a satirical fashion, and I'm not saying that you can't consider her your favorite problematic evil girl representation. I'm only trying to make people realize that it's her complexity that actually makes her such a compelling character.

I've seen people call Shiori all sorts of names, some of which were baffling enough to make me wonder if they even remembered what happens in the show, and weren't just judging a version of the character that they made up in their head.

So, let's look at the things Shiori actually does, throughout the course of the story.

Disclaimer: I'm only going to take the series into the account here, because I think we can all agree that everyone's characterization and personality differs at least slightly in the movie. Background characters also get a lot less screen time to explain their motivations in order to fully focus on Anthy's journey and struggles, which is understandable.

1. She "steals" the boy from Juri.

This is her biggest crime, which seems to define her from the very beginning. Even though Juri didn't actually have any romantic feelings for him, this action is detrimental to their relationship - it breaks the trio apart, isolates Juri from the pair, is an act of betrayal against her and proves it was done with full awareness that it would hurt Juri emotionally.

Shiori is a deeply insecure person, who constantly feels inadequate and beneath other people. The only reason why Juri seemed to actually like her that Shiori could think of was pity, and even when she found out she was the object of her romantic affection all along, she still struggled to comprehend it. Her self loathing and constant perceived inferiority make her desperate to gain any sort of control over her life and relationships, but they're also the exact reason she feels that the only way she could ever do that is by hurting others. She's always one step below and incapable of crossing that distance, therefore the only way to become equal to people is to bring them down to her level, by humiliation.

When she "steals" the boy from Juri, she achieves that. For a moment, she feels good about herself and leaves Ohtori thinking that she has found the answer, the solution. But she's wrong. From that moment on, it becomes more and more apparent to her that what she did was never out of love for the boy, even though she doesn't let herself acknowledge it fully. Because the truth is, Shiori actually regrets hurting Juri, which she admits herself during her elevator confession.

When the guilt starts getting to her, her confidence high wears off, and she ends up feeling ever worse.

That's why she breaks up with him and comes back. She's not ready to leave yet, not ready to progress. There's still something binding her to Ohtori - Juri, and Shiori's unresolved feelings for her.

2. She tries to set things right with Juri and to fix their relationship.

Even though at this point Shiori still thinks that Juri only ever associated herself with her out of pity, she still makes several attempts to get closer to Juri, who understandably (albeit coldly) turns her down ever time. This is a very clear sign of conflicting feelings Shiori has for Juri - jealousy and admiration, resentment and longing, hate and love. After all, Shiori admits that the two practically grew up together. Their friendship may have always felt fake to Shiori, but she clearly cherished it deeply.

3. The Black Rose Arc.

First of all, we should establish what is the purpose of this arc and how it functions. It explores the motivations of background characters and shows their worst side to the audience. The characters that end up in the elevator are the most unstable, vulnerable ones, with the least power in the system, in unequal and/or exploitive relationships with the duelists and their agency under threat. Mikage offers them a way to gain that power by making them follow their most toxic, negative emotions. And despite all other characters doing exactly that, from what I've seen Shiori is the one that gets the most hate for it. I don't think she should be judged any harsher for what she did under the influence of the black rose than, let's say, Wakaba or Kozue. Especially because the reason all of them ended up in that elevator is because they recognized that these urges were harmful and were seeking help and counseling.

What this arc does do is reveal how Shiori's inferiority complex drives her to act against her own desires. Even though she longs for things to be different, even though she is not happy at all with how her relationship with Juri looks like, she is unable to fix it, because that would require her to consider her own affection for Juri. And she can't do that, because it would mean admitting that she's not stronger than Juri, that she hasn't beaten her, that she's doesn't have control and an advantage over her. Although she tries to keep up this smug, self-assured facade, the reality shines through.

They key to understanding Shiori is noticing that she specifically doesn't want to acknowledge that Juri's feelings are reciprocated, and the obsession is mutual. If you paint their relationship as one sided, you're actually falling for her act.

4. She enters a relationship with Ruka.

Ruka is a handsome (arguable), respected boy who appears out of nowhere and starts showing interest in Shiori. It's obvious that for an insecure girl, who in addition struggles with confusing repressed feelings, this would be something unthinkably wonderful. The affection and praise she gets from him is exactly what her low self-esteem craves. You might be wondering why she didn't perceive Juri's feelings for her in the same way. And a part of the answer might be that, post nameless-boy-incident, Juri was nothing but cold to her. She might have been pining after Shiori from afar, but in the end she's distant and untouchable, and they're divided by their messy past. Meanwhile Ruka is a clean slate, seems openly affectionate, engaged in their relationship and he pays attention to her. But I think the main thing that makes Ruka so different from Juri is the fact that...he's a boy. Because, as Revolutionary Girl Utena establishes, gender plays a crucial role in interpersonal dynamics. Attention from a boy is fundamentally coded as romantic, desirable, necessary and most importantly: increases the girl's worth in society's eyes. It makes one a princess. Meanwhile Juri's advances could only be seen as an invitation to friendship, at best. But Juri's status and beauty make her special, while Shiori is not. Therefore, it can only be pity and mockery.

Of course, Ruka only uses Shiori to influence Juri and dumps her as soon as he achieves his goals. It's true that Shiori could have listened to Juri's warnings, but then again... why should she? From her perspective, Juri's her ex-friend that doesn't want anything to do with her, who only suddenly comes to Shiori when she's finally happy and fulfilled, and encourages her to end it. She doesn't know the wider context of the situation, nor does she remember the Black Rose arc. Juri's warnings don't sound sincere to her.

And so, Ruka gets rid of her in the coldest, most indifferent way, not explaining anything or showing even the slightest sign of compassion. Before that though, he makes an interesting remark, about Shiori putting on an act and polishing somebody else's sword.

Honestly, I don't really know how to interpret it in any other way than Shiori actually having feelings for someone else, despite trying her hardest to conceal it. Are my shipping lenses not allowing me to see any different possibilities? Am I going crazy? I don't know.

Nevertheless, Shiori begs him to stay, devastated. Her life got turned around so suddenly, she found appreciation, status, comfort and stability, and now all that's been taken away from her as abruptly as it was given. It's a public humiliation.

I once heard someone say that this would be the perfect moment for Juri to step in and defend her. And to be honest, although it may be true, I'm not completely sure. It may have been the one display of open care that Shiori needed from her, but it might as well have been interpreted by Shiori as Juri affirming her superiority over her and feeling sorry for her again. We will never know. In my opinion, so much of their relationship is going on in their own heads that the only thing that could ever cause positive progress is communication (which neither of them seem to be a fan of).

Instead, Juri only tries to console her after the fact, when Shiori's at her absolute lowest. In the context of all the assumptions Shiori holds and Juri's previous indifference, it quite understandably comes off as a sneering attempt to gloat.

That's about it. You may have noticed that I've summarized all Shiori's appearances into 4 points, and only one of them includes an instance of Shiori hurting Juri voluntarily, out of her own free will, not influenced by anyone. I'm not saying that she was forced to taunt Juri during the Black Rose Arc, I'm not trying to diminish the suffering she's caused or trying to paint her as a perfectly good person. I am trying to make it clear that she is not some cunning plotter, dedicating every minute of her life to finding ways to make Juri suffer that some people seem to take her for. I am trying to humanize people's perception of her a little bit. Especially considering the fact that last scenes of her include those when she waits for Juri and follows her so that they can go home together, and then joins the fencing club. If this doesn't show that she's capable of change, I don't know what does.

She's not an innocent princess, that's true, but she's not just an egoistical, manipulative liar either. She's a bit of both. After all, if Revolutionary Girl Utena is supposed to teach you anything, then I think it's that we're all just people, and the complexities of human experience make it impossible to fit anyone into a box, assigning them definite labels like "princess" or "witch".

And if you look at a teenage girl who, like all people in Ohtori, struggle under the system of patriarchy and heterosexuality, and all you see is a wicked, sinister witch, then you may have just fallen into the trap that the narrative had set for you.

[swanshapedheart]

Poorlittlekoi’s statement

Disclaimer. I, the poster, am not Koi

I am someone putting her thoughts and response to her situation into the public as I was encouraged to do so. I feel it is also necessary to bring this up as well.

I do not want to be affiliated with controversy any further.

——————————————————-

“this whole situation has messed with my head to the point where i cant even send a text to most people without worrying they are gonna leak it or use it against me in the future,, svlvnsore was just bored and found me really annoying shown in screenshot one…. not only that they also called me out for heavily referencing or tracing when they reposted an artpiece thats doing the same thing. Svlvn said they are on my ass because i didnt credit who i referenced, when the person they reposted didnt do the same either proof in screenshot two three and four. Another thing i caught on to is that they SPECIFICALLY said they didnt care that i self harmed or did horrible things to myself when they posted about me. i have anxiety, i overthink! of course im going to do bad things to myself, im mentally unwell. proof in screenshot 5… and for screenshot 6, this is only an assumption, but saying that svlvn "didnt know" is something that really throws me off. when someone makes a callout post on someone else, there will OBVIOUSLY be harassment. thats just my thought, i feel like they knew what they were doing since him and his bf arent very good people either. especially holding onto old dms and gathering them up to use it against me, when they could have handled the situation privately with me, rather than hide it behind my back.

all of this could have been prevented if they handled it differently, and that goes for me as well.

im fully aware im in the wrong, but these people are wrong in some places too. and i want people to realize that.

many artists in tcc trace, reference, all the time. i dont understand why im slandered for heavily referencing something, not tracing. theres proof of an artist doing this FROM THE ORIGINAL ARTIST BTW in my dms right now but i dont get them involved

am i handling this situation immaturely? maybe, but arent they doing the same by harassing me? absolutely.

when it comes to someone being racist/homophobic, people feel the need to harass this person to make them feel worse about what they did. this isnt how you handle a situation. harassing someone to the point they attempt suicide is just as bad as what i did, possibly even worse.

now i have recover slowly until i have the chance to even feel comfortable with myself again. i understand what i said and did was wrong, and im sitting here attempting to change and apologize to the people ive offended and hurt, but throwing that apology under the rug and making it seem like im guilt tripping is ridiculous.

so they cant say i didnt try to apologize, but nobody is guaranteed to accept my apology and thats okay. but putting it out there as if im guilt tripping when im giving reasons why i said it is not even giving me a chance to change

when it comes to growing up with a HUGE racist family, these words and beliefs become apart of my vocabulary and thoughts. its very hard to change that especially when i was always told "its just a word" and i hear it daily! growing up with these slurs has become so normal for me to say it just slips out with no worry, but ofc im seen as guilt tripping when i say this.

its different for each person, i saw a comment saying they grew up in a southern family and they dont say it, but thats them, not me.

people at school and during family events would peer pressure me into saying this slurs multiple times because they found it "funny." i slowly believed that as well.

i was a young teen being taught the wrong things, and seeing other people in tcc say it made me feel like i should say it as well to fit in and be edgy, since thats what the community is like

this situation is another lesson for me to learn, but other people in it need to learn that harassing someone isnt okay, either. especially when im trying to change, it doesnt make it any easier.”

[littlemissayu]

Alr tysm!! so if its alr can you maybe write a yandere fanfic of Riddle amd Floyd regarding their Halloween wear?

Like how the reader is missing along with the students

A/N: I'm so happy I finally got a request bc I wanted to post I just wasn't sure of what. I'm also gonna assume this is gender neutrual!

Yandere!Riddle Rosehearts x Fem!Reader | Yandere!Floyd Leech x Fem!Reader

TW- yandere tendencies, unhealthy obsession,kidnapping

Side Note: I do not consent to this behavior; it is unhealthy, traumatizing, immoral, and mental. I only write for enjoyment. I would never wish this unto someone else.

How Yandere Floyd and Riddle React to the reader going missing (Halloween Event) | Headcanons

When I think of Yandere Riddle I think of a controlling, self-aware, manipulative yandere

He absolutely realizes how creepy and overly obsessive he is of you, but he just claims it as a trauma response to his childhood from his mother; and continues his yandere ways

So when everyone starts going missing his immediate response of course is you

He starts thinking about how you could've been kidnapped, which you were

When he finds out he's FURIOUS

All he can think is "HOW DARE SOMEONE TAKE MY BELOVED" especially right when he was thinking of locking you up in his room so you could only spend time with him

he doesn't actually care about the others, he just wants you back safe and sound in his arms

and for you to never escape said arms

While their fighting ghost and trying to save all the captured people, he was thinking of ways to smoothly kidnap/manipulate you so something like this never happens again <3

Seeing the ghost bride made him want to kill her(again)

Once everything is back to normal he hugs you so close

you thought it was cause he was worried for a close friend

After that you seem to be more isolated, Riddle had seem to occupy all the time you had whether you were in of out of school

You brought it up to him but his eyes got teary and he began to go on and on about how he's sorry it just that since his mom never gave him the attention h needed as a child you seemed to be the only person who gave him their undivided always making him feel cared for

It was of course him manipulating you into spending even more time with him if that was even possible and you never questioned him again

"I'm Sorry if I'm such a nuisance, it's just after my childhood and my mom you're genuine affection pulls me in I feel less alone."

Yandere Floyd is the most possessive, aggressive, time consuming, delusional yandere

He knew you were gone before anyone else did because he was stalking you

You know like any normal crush would do not

He was absolutely furious when he saw you get taken, he was going to go in there and stop it all but he was too late.

before going back to his dorm he threw some things a round and made a mess

but after his little (read as:huge) tantrum he swiftly went back to Octavinelle so that no one noticed he left

He was determined to find you(and Azul and Jade, but mostly you)

this man was ready to throw hands with anyone who got in his way of finding everyone you

The minute he seeing whom the guard ghosts referred to as "boss" he was throwing hands

5 different people had to hold this man back; when I tell you he was not playing around, I mean every word of the sentence

Everyone thought he was mad about his twin and childhood friend being kidnapped, he was more angry about them taking his little shirmpy

the moment everyone goes back home and their adventure is over he gives you the tightest squeeze (he only stopped when you began to turn blue, even then it was hesitant)

Never left you alone after that, even when he had to work he'd just bring you along

You tried to leave him once, but you felted him glared bullets into your back so you just stayed with him, where you belong

He'd always mumble weird things about keeping you forever but you never questioned him as to not put him in a bad mood

"Your Mine and you never ever leaving me, even when you try I'll break off your legs and keep you right next to me"

Main Masterlist

Octavinelle Masterlist

Heartsabyul Masterlist

[project-sekai-facts]

What's ur fav piece of trivia for every* character?

(*or at least as much as you can recall off the top of ur head)

my favorite trivia for characters is usually just whatever i think is funniest so just keep that in mind. that's not always the case but you might see it become a pattern. oh the other thing is whatever is most soul-crushing so yeah.

Ichika - either the fact her name comes from how her parents met (because i think it's really sweet) or that she accidentally discovered miku when she was watching videos on her dad's tablet and opened a recording of a miku concert

Saki - she used to listen to the song Time Machine when she was in hospital (at Ichika's recommendation) to remind her of family and friends. It's the in-universe reason why she is featured on the cover. This is actually one of my favorite facts in the game overall.

Honami - she is surprisingly good at flirting

Shiho - not one I've posted before, but in Run! Sports Festival! she couldn't bring herself to throw any of the balls in the ball toss because they had cute animal designs on them

Minori - she once passed out because Haruka wished her happy birthday.

Haruka - she likes penguins because she thinks the way they waddle is cute and she likes how round a lot of penguin merch is

Airi - she followed all of Shizuku's campaigns and bought all the magazines she was featured in when she was still a member of Cheerful*Days. She insists it was just research.

Shizuku - either that she usually has a thermos of miso soup on her to eat after practice or archery club or that she isn't good at texting. i haven't posted either of these before

Kohane - again one I haven't posted yet, but her favorite photo she's taken of Count Pearl is one of Pearl eating mice. the rest of VBS are surprised that she isn't squeamish about that sort of thing (i dunno what they're talking about that sounds like a very cool photo).

An - the possible symbolism of the black stripe on her new school cardigan. hello to the person who submitted that i am still not over it.

Akito - in Cinema he's the only person to sing solo during the first two choruses, the others don't get solo parts in the chorus until the end of the song. i think about this one a lot actually

Toya - he can't swim

Tsukasa - he's the comedic relief and there's a lot of really random shit i know about him because of that, so my favorite fact about him is whatever will have the most impact in the moment if i were to mention it out of nowhere. for a less vague answer, this one although i consider it to be one of my worst posts

Emu - she's very good at replicating cartoon faces. i like this one because it raises a few questions about whether the L2Ds are still exaggerated or if she just looks like that and no one questions that she actually has a cartoon face. what if project sekai ends with them all becoming self-aware.

Nene - either the fact that she thinks the forest has good graphics or that she called rui's mom "auntie" when she was younger because i think it's cute.

Rui - i like a good reference and i appreciate that he sometimes references famous people and media.

Kanade - she's left handed. i also like that her family name was made up specifically to contrast with the rest of N25.

Mafuyu - either that it's shown one time that she can see ghosts and then it's never brought up or referenced again, or that the "mom's cooking" listed as her favorite food might refer to the bunny-shaped apple slices her mother would make for her when she was a kid. i also like the detail that her eyes being two-tone is because she inherited the eye colors of both her parents.

Ena - twitter user. also despite loving cheesecake, she doesn't like cheese. girl what the hell.

Mizuki - they started out editing by making AMVs for a magical girl anime they liked. Amia comes from the name of a character from that anime. also did you know they put ice cubes in noodles because of their sensitive tongue. ice cubes.

Bonus - some side character stuff I like

Kotaro's favorite food is strawberries but he doesn't like strawberry flavored things for whatever reason

Asahi and Sakurako's family names are Chinese mythology references

Tatsuya's hobbies are motorbiking and fishing. these are not things you expect to go together

Nagi hated tomatoes but she would eat them in front of An

Iori hates spicy food, whilst Mio's favorite food is super spicy ramen. Meanwhile Mio doesn't like cream, but Iori likes crepes (which usually have cream on them).

Souma started listening to foreign music after Arata left for America

gbr i forgot about the vocaloids for a second but before i call it a day i think it's incredibly funny that Len cannot reach the stools in crase cafe.

[iamgodsoopsie]

Astarion Headcanons (that you probably won't like) Pt. 2:

Part 1 link

Part 3 link

More Astarion headcanons! (that are mostly me projecting but with an Astarion flavored twist.)

BG3 does an excellent job at depicting SA trauma and the beginning of the healing process/journey. Many of the headcanons I've seen floating around (intentionally or unintentionally) gloss over the uglier side of healing from (prolonged) trauma. I'm not judging anyone for magically healing him, he's fictional after all, but I'd like to make some more ...realistic... headcanons.

Disclaimer: Everyone's healing process looks different, but they tend share commonalities. These headcanons are based on my own experiences. Not everyone who is healing from their trauma will experience what I have or have experienced it like I have.

[Please don't message me with explicit details about your trauma. I am at the point in my healing journey where I can share my experiences, and commiserate with other's similar experiences, but I am unable to support others in a more personal manner at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your healing process/ journey.]

Spoiler warning

Mental illness, SA, & DV Trigger Warnings: I cannot stress these enough this post is much more descriptive and potentially triggering than part one was.

These headcanons are based on an Astarion who is still a spawn and romantically involved with a Tav who honestly loves him and isn't abusive or manipulative. Also Cazador is dead and Astarion got to stab him. They also assume that he himself does not turn into Cazador 2.0 or Wish.com Cazador.

I hope you're ready for abrupt mood swings.

--- One minute he's codependent and can't make a decision on his own because he's overwhelmed, the next he's hyper-independent and will take offense at any suggestion you make.

----- Astarion is aware that staying in either of the two extremes is unhealthy and would eventually lead him to acting like Cazador.

^ This ties into point two: You need walk the fine line between patient and understanding while he processes "200 years of Shit. PURE SHIT!". And at the same time you need to be firm in your own boundaries with how you allow him to treat you.

--- He's gone 200 years without autonomy and has no memory of what life was like before Cazador turned him. He has no frame of reference other than romance novels and watching couples interact with each other from afar.

-----TBH the best thing for him is to stay in regular contact with Halsin. The man has the same flavor as trauma as Astarion while also having strong boundaries and open honest/ healthy communication in his relationships. He can unjudgementally help Astarion navigate the pitfalls of his healing journey through first hand experience.

Plus Ultra Catholic levels of guilt.

--- Guilt for what he did while he was a spawn. Guilt for how he started his relationship with you (even after you've told him you forgive him multiple times). Guilt for how he lashes out at the one person who has shown him unconditional love (you). Guilt because he feels like he's dragging you down into his darkness and tainting you. Guilt because he fears he's pulling you down to bring himself up. Guilt for feeling guilty because it doesn't absolve him of his sins and makes healing harder.

Self-esteem issues

--- He was SA'd for 200 years, he was forced into prostitution, he was tortured in every conceivable way, he was made to do reprehensible things and learned to find "joy" in them because he would've lost all of himself and his humanity otherwise.

------ His inner saboteur (who sounds like Cazador and himself simultaneously- adding to his self hate) tells him that he is disgusting, wrong, filthy, a burden, unlovable, undeserving of happiness, a monster.

------- Like everything else these thoughts will become less frequent and easier for him to handle as time goes on. All you can do is love him while he self-flagellates and hates himself. One day he'll see himself as you see him.

^ Tying into all the points above, especially the one right before this one. You're going to feel useless. Most of the time all you can do is demonstrate your love for him and sit there with him while he is bombarded with years of repressed feelings forcing their way out.

--- In the beginning your attempts to help him will frequently seem to have the opposite of their intended effect.

----- It's important that you be honest with him about how you're doing mentally. It does him no favors if you set yourself on fire to keep him warm.

------- You'll be angry on his behalf and can't exact revenge.

--------- That being said you are helping him so much more than you think you are. I cannot express in words how much just being there while Astarion slogs through the painful process of healing will help him.

^ ALL of these will get less intense and easier to deal with in time. He will heal and move on from his horrid past. But, it will involve a lot of trial and error. He will have periods of exponential growth followed by a hard backslide in progress. But he will get there.

I wouldn't say that loving Astarion is hard, but it does involve conscious effort on both his and your parts.

[itgomyway]

former limiting beliefs i used to hold and how i let them go ♡

(disclaimer: these are based off of my own experience! share yours on your own blog 🥰)

“the 3d HAS to reflect the 4d just understand you have it in your 4d no matter what.” um there is no separation between the 3d and 4d when you are already 1 being (consciousness). theres no need to live in a separate entity known as imagination when its the same as the “3d” anyways. the concepts of “imagination” “physical world” or “3d” are just false forms of consciousness youve made up and personified it as real. they are not. only you are.

“the more you repeat your affirmations the more likely they will come” theres nothing to “do” or say that will bring me my desires since i am everything i already am my desires. the idea of “doing” anything to “get something” outside of me doesnt make sense when its all in me. affirmations can be used to “bring things to your awareness” but understand the affirmations themselves are STILL not bringing you anyway. just making you aware of things.

“dont check the 3d! you’ll be in a state of lack/showing yourself you dont have it!” PLS GIVE ME A BREAK?? why the fuck are you telling urself you are with someone but afraid to check their socials or for their notifications? either date someone u like or you dont think you have it. because lets be honest. if you really were in a relationship with your desired person the idea of “checking the 3d”- which u already claim IS your 4d- shouldnt be an issue. and if it is then something aint right but i wont judge!

“youre in a state of neutrality if you dont care ab not getting your desires and you dont have them” damn yall strict asf. you cant even be indifferent without it meaning something. you either have it or you dont. if im indifférent its bc i have it why stress? fucking decide already

“neville taught ab non dualism!” here we go. then why tf did you misinterpret his words like that and make it sound obnoxious? i believe he did, just like his teacher, teach non dualism (the power of awareness by him is great) but his teachings are a far cry from the nonsense most of you spew in his name. and dont even get me started on how neville used to refer to the law of assumption as the “law of consciousness” but i digress. if you separate yourself or any aspects of being then it isnt non dualism.*

going into my next point “you HAVE to read source to understand!!” i am so glad most of the law of assumption community is breaking free from this mindset cuz you infact do not HAVE to read anything. if you are the operant (main) power doesnt this mean you are your own source? oh i thought so…

“work on your self concept to manifest your sp if you dont have them your sc is shitty” well it wasnt shitty til you told me i had work to do 💀. once again there is NOTHING you need to do but “be”. working on your sc can help u feel better ab yourself for sure but its not required!

for supposedly limitless beings, a lot of yall are very limited. be careful who you get your advice from because personally i wouldnt take after someone whos too scared to text their sp- oops i mean significant other. (disclaimer: once again not bashing loa just the users who can’t decide that they believe and switch every other day. very common on law of assumption twitter!)

if you realize youve been limiting yourself this whole time and now youre like “what now-“ well as ive stated before, theres STILL nothing you need to do. youre not missing anything. this isnt a blog on why you dont have your desires, i cant tell you the answer im not your creator. (you also are everything so you in fact have your desires)

like non dualism, i hope to share this way of life with you as you’re not getting anything so theres no need for limitations. LIVE YOUR LIFE. if someone is advising you to fear your own power then ignore them cuz wtf! life is suppose to be fun not a rule book!

*disclaimer: i have nothing against neville goddard. i really like some of his teachings. however i would never go to one of his living students for advice, ESPECIALLY on twitter. not only do most parrot the same limiting beliefs he himself didnt hold, but most are obnoxious about the topic of the law of assumption. i don’t even “manifest” but if i were trying to and had them to go to I’d probably cry. if you really wish to read “source”, read The Power Of Awareness by Neville Goddard and Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle 💜 learn from the teachers themselves FIRST <3

© itgomyway

[cillianmurphysdimples]

Observation on Love

Tommy/Grace (series 1)

Mild language & mild sexual references. Short observational ficlet on Tommy falling for Grace.

"Boy, had he drawn a stomach-flipping thrill from every second of it. Zero to one hundred in a few stolen kisses and a single, passionate fuck..."

If Tommy knew anything at all with absolute certainty it was that you couldn't trust a single person. Kin or not, you always had to be prepared for the day when the person you might have relied upon would double cross you as easily as they drew breath. He expected it of everyone, and kept the entire world at arms length so that nobody ever truly knew him. Polly did, but even she struggled sometimes. There was one single diversion to that philosophy, the only exception he ever made in his life, and that was Grace. He let her in, and he told her things he didn't tell his family. Grace had free reign of his heart and mind, and he had given it willingly, freely, and without fear of any negative consequences at all. As wantonly as she opened her mouth to each and every hungry kiss, and her legs to every insistent push, he had laid back and bared all to her with not one shred of abashment. He knew that the things he had presented her with from his past and present were shameful to the eyes of the outside, but he had laid it all out for her to witness and had accepted her eyes upon his figurative and literal nudity.

And it had happened alarmingly quickly; from his eyes laying upon her in the Garrison, and her lilting voice as she sang his broken and bruised heart into a new rhythm to finally allow blood to circulate around his hyper aware body, right up to the moment he had handed her the keys to his every inch of truth, time had zoomed by like a horse on the track, with everything else in the world around him a total blur. Boy, had he drawn a stomach-flipping thrill from every second of it. Zero to one hundred in a few stolen kisses and a single, passionate fuck - and there was not one regret in his heart or mind at any action, or any word that tumbled from his lips as they lay naked and unashamed in her bed. Every question she had asked, he had answered with very little moderation in descriptive wording; every touch she had wanted to place on his skin, he had allowed without flinching; every kissed she had wanted to steal for herself, he had given freely and with the hopeful anticipation that she would return for more.

In that one single intimate act, an act that had curled his toes, shaken his core, and cleared the cobwebs from his mind, Tommy had become irreversibly intoxicated by and thereafter willfully addicted to her. When she spoke, he listened without expectation of being disinterested - and it had been many years since anyone had said anything that Tommy deemed truly worth hearing. The truth was, she held him tightly in whatever magic she had weaved. He was chained to her, in need of her, reliant upon her and it had been so easily achieved he couldn't actually decide the pivotal moment. She owned him now, and he had never felt more comfortable with that prospect with anyone in his life. He wanted to love her, he wanted to be the version of himself she wanted him to be, to be the happiness that she dreamed of, and then to bring to fruition whatever dreams she may have had in her head.

With her in his arms, and his mind quiet for the first time since France, he had asked her to remain; remain his, remain here, remain her. He wanted nothing different than what she had presented, and he prayed that skeletons in the closet would not reveal themselves - or, if they did, that they would not bring a non-negotiable reason for ending what they’d so quickly built. He resolved that he could cope with any secret she may share - he’d given her his truth, his whole self with every dark corner and speakable thought, and he hoped that in her time she might do the same. He knew so little but loved so much, and he didn’t know how she achieved it with him. No, Tommy Shelby trusted nobody, and yet he trusted her with everything despite her remaining an enigma to him. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if Grace was her name and yet he trusted in her and in himself that he wouldn’t care if this, too, was a lie.

[xe-n4]

budding affections

feat. kunigami note: i don't remember writing this contains: swearing, shakespeare reference, fem!reader total: 550

He’s not open. It’s something Kunigami has become very well aware of. He knows it’s a flaw, yet he can’t help but keep a bubble around himself. Self-preservation. That’s what he tells himself. It’s safer this way. 

However, safer isn’t always better. It’s just safe.

And he knows that. It’s something Kunigami has become very well aware of. 

“Rensuke?” You waved a hand in his face. “Jeez, am I that boring? Or was it all the ancient poems we have to analyse?” 

He mumbled ‘sorry’. 

“It’s okay. I just wanna know you’re okay. You’re not usually so out of it” 

Kunigami nodded. 

Both of you went back to working on your literature project. Categorising each poem by theme and picking out anything that stood out to you and making up whatever to please your literature teacher. It was tedious work. He helped you with words you didn’t understand and you made jokes about the whole thing to lighten the mood. 

“This one’s so mean,” you said, pointing to one called Sonnet 130 in your anthology. 

He leaned over to read it, too. Kunigami didn’t know how close he was to you until he realised he could hear you breathing. His breath hitched. He didn’t want it to, but it did and he hoped to any god that you didn’t hear it. 

“Look, it even says he wrote it about his wife. That’s so fucking rude,” you scoffed. 

“Yeah, that’s kinda shitty.” 

“Shitty doesn’t even scratch the surface. ‘If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun’ and ‘If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head’,” you read the poem, scoffing. 

Kunigami watched as you chastised the poem and highlighted the irony of such an insult being titled a sonnet. A smile crept onto his face and he felt a familiar thumping in his chest. One he realised recently only happened when you were around. It made his head messy and he couldn’t think straight. His usually calm and articulated mind couldn’t form sentences or bring himself to react the way he wanted to. I would never describe you that way. 

Hours passed. During that time, you had moved from your seat next to him to work on his bed because you ‘work better when you’re comfortable’. Kunigami didn’t realise how long you had stayed over until he looked out of the window. The setting sun turned the sky a pale blue colour with specks of purple and orange slowly taking over. 

Kunigami turned around to see you curled up on his bed asleep. He smiled to himself, noting how cute you looked, so unguarded and comfortable enough to fall asleep in his room. It made him feel something. Kunigami wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but he liked it. 

With delicate moves, lay down next to you, close enough to feel your warmth but not close enough to touch. There was an urge to trace patterns on your back. To write messages to you, hoping it’d somehow translate into your dreams. 

“Y/n,” Kunigami whispered to himself. He gulped and his heart raced. “I like you.” 

Kunigami’s never been open and never allowed himself to be vulnerable with others. It’s something he’s become very well aware of. But he wanted to tell you everything. 

“I really like you.” 

m.list | like & reblog

[lorisidirgiichi2002]

TADC SPOILERS Trying to make sense of some unanswered questions and the what ifs..

Kinger becomes lucid while being in a dark place to remember properly, this effect seems to translate to Queenie even after her abstraction. It confirms a strange thing to ponder since you can calm an Abstraction, does the Abstracted prefer the darkness and calms down and freak out during the light? It could explain why there hasn't been noise to Kaufmo's room before Jax unlocked the door and why he freaks and lashes out at Ragatha and Pomni. Abstractions could potentially be residing in the darkness, to be docile and calm as Caine sends them there.

It's weird to go into this question knowing this is the Chess Piece Couple's quirks, but it could make sense due to their shadowy appearance. Being exposed to bright lights causes their senses as a Abstraction to go haywire and increase their violent tendencies as Kaufmo lashed at Ragatha for not laughing at his jokes. Though take this concept and theory with a grain of salt.

I do not have the information or theorycrafting I have for this scene at this time, but it could imply that Kinger has at least learned at computer science to work on the game for C&A and he and his wife became part of the game.. Possessed Pomni or Zomni I shall refer to does bring a interesting question. Did Caine make this possession AI to bring out and jab at the member's possible insecurities. It calls out Kinger's wife, but I saw some people and looking back on it are saying that this adventure was made for Zooble to accept their new body, and this possession AI could be used to taunt at their insecurities to try and help them learn their lesson of accepting their self and overcome their dismorphia. Though not sure how'd she take that reaction well coming from Zomni had she come along.

Jax being aware of the audience/viewer is the most baffling thing to occur when discussing about the character's weird quirks when holding their breath and possibly increases the potential that Jax is a NPC. Even Ragatha is confused at what he's doing. This should normally be a thing for Caine to point to the audience, but Jax doing it is the most off guard thing he can do. If Jax was an NPC, he'd be aware that any NPCs he hurt has no consequences as they're all digital code and revels in being a villain to the point the girls had to tie him up for his chaotic shenanigans. As for what his secret ability is, we'll probably find out in the potential Christmas Episode or later down the line when it gets brought up again. Though if Jax is an NPC that manages to break out of the Real World, then that raises even more questions.

[nyatbinary-81]

Okay, so something about Ultimate Custom Night that I just realised and have to share with someone:

One of Charlie-Puppet's death voice lines is "The others are like animals. But I am very aware."

So, first, the others? Who are the others? Well, from one of Charlie's other voice lines, the answer to that question is quite obvious: "The others are under my protection." They're the missing children.

And that's when something struck to me about that first line. If the other (child) victims of Afton are truly "like animals" and so "not aware"... then how can fanon Cassidy possibly be the Vengeful Spirit?

How can she create a custom hell just to torture the man who killed her? How can she bring these monstrous things to life? How can she make them taunt Afton so personally? Not in the sense of "how is she capable of this" but in the sense of "how does she have enough cognisance to be capable of this". Hell, how can she herself even talk through the animatronics, let alone so eloquently, if she is "like an animal"?

After all, fanon Cassidy is supposedly the fifth missing child. What reason is there for her to be any different than the others?

With all of this in mind, Charlie's voice lines work to further support Mike as the Vengeful Spirit of UCN in my opinion. Because there are many words to describe Michael Afton post-scooping. "Unaware" is not one of them.

youre the only mf who gets me

THAT ALSO RAISES THE QUESTION OF WHOS SAYING THE LINES!!

like, okay. we know of a minimum of 3 spirits in UCN. charlie, TOYSNHK/mike, and dave.

but MOST of the animatronics have lines! most of them are self-referential, some reference or are said by mike, and then some...well.

i highly recommend hearing them yourself, theres a lot of them i didnt know abt like rockstar bonnies, but heres a few of my faves.

under the cut bc as per usual, i LOVE being long-winded <3

ok SO. let's start with the main line everyone knows: I was the first. I have seen everything.

This line has thrown the death order into question. After all, If Susie was the first death, what about CCassidy and Charlie? What about Elizabeth?

But. That assumes Susie is saying this. Which she can't be, because not only is that not Classic Chica, but Charlie has already established that the others are "like animals", and therefore wouldn't be able to talk at all.

No, no. This line, much like the animatronics themselves, was made by the one he should not have killed: Mike.

Ok, but: How do we know for SURE that it's Mike? Well. A few reasons. Let's start simple: Orville.

This is a line you're probably familiar with. It is said by Mike through Orville. This line quickly establishes 3 key points:

Someone tried to release both Dave and Mike

Mike won't let that happen

Mike and Dave have been burned together, possibly by a third party, multiple times

*pulls up fnaf 3* Do we actually know that Mike set the place on fire? Would he know how that affects REMNANT at this point in the story?

OR...was there foul play involved? Did Henry burn down both FNAF3 and FNAF6's pizzerias? Did FNAF3 fail because the building was designed with fire safety in mind and Henry's was designed for his ridiculous plan? We know he has access to the SL blueprints, they're on the computer in FNAF6, theyre LABELED HRY. Was he part of Dave's insane plans until it got him arrested?

Who knows! It'd make a good narative tho. Anyway, observe some more lines.

I believe these lines are all more references to Mike. Mike knows about the scooping room and controlled shocks. Mike was the one who heard "You won't die" at the end of SL. Mike has seen the Nightmare animatronics. Mike has been hiding in Dave's shadow all his life, has even been mistaken for Dave.

And, as a bonus, 3 lines I think are interesting.

Two references to "I will put you back together", and this line from Nightmarionne.

"I am the fearful reflection of what you have created" is a fascinating line; this could apply to a lot of animatronics, and especially any of them in UCN, but it's given to Nightmarionne. I think this line is a reference to Charlie: Charlie, who doesn't hate Dave. Charlie, who only wants Dave out of the way. Charlie, who tries to keep her solutions peaceful. Charlie, who Dave killed.

And Nightmarionne, who is haunting Dave. Nightmarionne, who is the fearful reflection of his most pacifist victim. Nightmarionne, whos image has haunted Mike [assuming the Halloween Update of FNaF4 was canon, which it must be if its animatronics are ALL IN UCN].

ON THAT NOTE I FORGOT SOMETHING: THE ANIMATRONIC LIST ITSELF.

(plus Dee-Dee/XOR, Nightmare Chica, Plushtrap, Bonnet, Minireenas, and Lolbit, who are Bonus Animatronics)

This list has always bugged me. It's missing:

Withered Freddy

Withered Foxy

Phantom Puppet

Phantom Foxy

Phantom Chica

Nightmare Foxy*

Funtime Freddy + BonBon

*Technically NightMangle is here which COULD count. but i dont count it.

This clearly isn't a comprehensive list of animatronics by game. "Everyone is here" would be a lie. And yet...you have unimportant cameos like Lolbit, JJ, and Phone Guy, not to mention the Mediocre Melodies, Trash & the Gang, Helpy, the Rockstars, and El Chip. Why are THEY here?

Simple. Shrimple, even.

They were important to Michael Afton, manager of the FNaF 6 Pizzeria.

Yes, a lot of the absences are likely Scott struggling to think of interesting mechanics. I'll give him that. But I think it's notable that EVERY FNaF6 animatronic is here, despite the fact that I legitimately don't think the fanbase at large would've noticed if he hadn't included the Mediocre Fucking Melodies.

[veliseraptor]

Top five WIP excerpts

this is just because i wasn't doing a wip meme instead of a top five meme isn't it

1. from Life After Death: “I’m so tired of death,” Xingchen said, his voice wobbling. “I’m so tired of it. You, and a-Qing, and then Xue Yang, and I did nothing to deserve you and a-Qing back, and I never looked for…but he’s here and I can’t stand the thought of losing him. All my struggling, all my searching for answers and closure, everything I ever said about justice, and that’s what it comes down to.” He bowed his head lower. “Xue Yang dying would rip something out of my heart that I can’t bear to lose. Not now.”

Song Lan let out a slow exhale. :I know,: he said again.

“I’m sorry,” Xingchen said.

:Xingchen,: Song Lan said, :I’ve known that, or something near it, since I made the decision to bring him back to life.: He swallowed hard. :You loved him.:

“I don’t want to,” Xingchen said, “but I don’t know how to stop.”

2. from the devil drives: “Bringing a full complement of bodyguards would be too conspicuous,” said Khun Kinn. Khun Vegas smiled and Pete thought oh no. 

“I agree,” he said. “But there is room for a plus one. He knows my staff, and most of your bodyguards, but an unfamiliar face…” Khun Vegas’s eyes drifted very slightly in Porsche’s direction before moving back to Khun Kinn. 

Oh, no, Pete thought again, but with a little more despair this time.

“Take Pete,” Khun Kinn said.

Vegas’s gaze swept to Pete, flicked slowly over him from head to toe. “Isn’t he one of Tankhun’s?” he said. “He won’t be thrilled that you’re loaning out his bodyguard to me.”

“That’s not your problem.”

“Considering Tankhun,” Vegas said, “it actually might end up being my problem.” 

“Pete doesn’t go out as much as some of the other guards,” Kinn said, “so he’s less recognizable. I’m offering you one of our best. Pete’s competent, observant, and I trust him completely.”

Pete might’ve been more flattered if he hadn’t been very aware that he was getting thrown this first and foremost so that Vegas didn’t take Porsche and only secondarily because Kinn trusted him.

3. from post-canon vegaspete long(er) fic: “Let me get you some painkillers?” Pete said.

“I’ll get them myself,” Vegas snapped, but of course he still had to put his clothes back on, which was an ordeal all on its own when he was already like this. He ended up sitting on the toilet with his head down to control the dizziness, fighting back tears of frustration and anger. Pete fled (“I’m going to get you some painkillers,” he said, this time not a question) and Vegas sat there marinating in rancid self-loathing until he came back. 

He took the pills in silence and didn’t look at Pete hovering and radiating anxiety. He bit down on the urge to snap at him hard enough to taste blood and felt like a monster. 

A sexually frustrated monster. 

4. from et ipsi sunt jacula: “Your wound,” Gabriel said, removing his hands, “needs tending.” 

“And you, with your healer’s hands,” Lymond said. “Ille more suo victus pietate, nec sordes cavit, nec fetorum exhorruit.”

“I make no claims to the miraculous,” Gabriel said. “But such things come first and foremost to the faithful.”

“Accept Christ,” Lymond said, “and my deformities shall disappear. Deny him, and I am cast out of the body public. Is that it?” 

Gabriel knelt, beginning to remove the dressings. “You cast out yourself,” he said mildly. “If you refer to your convalescence…I am given to understand it is exhaustion and overwork that brought on your collapse. You drive yourself hard, my dear.” 

“I do what I must,” said Lymond. “Should I let my opponent set the pace, instead?” 

“Your opponent,” Gabriel said, setting the soiled bandages aside. Lymond made no move to pull away, head turned just slightly to retain view of him as he examined the wound, livid and angry. “Your metaphors are all of war.” He paused, leveling a clear gaze at Lymond. “Is it any surprise there should be casualties, when such is your approach?” 

“You made it so,” Lymond said, suddenly blunt. 

“Did I?” Gabriel asked, smiling very slightly. “From the beginning you greeted me with nothing but hostility. You decided that I was your enemy and have proven unshakeable in that conviction, for all I did to prove I have nothing but your best interests at heart.”

Lymond’s laugh was sharp as a blade. “My best interests, and Scotland’s too?”

5. from Redux: “Let’s watch something,” Xiao Xingchen said. “You can choose. I’ve–” he swallowed hard. “I’ve missed you.” 

“Yeah,” Xue Yang mumbled after another brief silence. “Same here.” He huffed a weak laugh. “Look what you’ve done to me. Made me a sap like you.” 

Xiao Xingchen pulled back just enough to kiss him on the forehead, making Xue Yang wrinkle his nose, and said, “there are worse things to be.” 

“Probably I’m some of those too,” Xue Yang said with a too-quick smile, but Xiao Xingchen let it pass, steering them over to the couch. Xue Yang fell asleep with his head on Xiao Xingchen’s shoulder within a few minutes, and shortly after slid down further to be curled up with his head on Xiao Xingchen’s lap instead. Xiao Xingchen’s chest ached with fondness.

At the same time, something tickled at the back of his mind, an uneasy twinge like he’d forgotten something important, and at the same time it was something he didn’t want to know.

[hazyange1s]

Incendiary (S.S. x F!MC)

Chapter 6

Summary: Fresh off the Hogwarts Express, Sixth Year Raegan DesRosiers has her sights set on nothing more than making the Quidditch team and finally having time to focus on herself.

Of course, where's the fun in sticking to a plan?

Instead, she begins to uncover the origins of ancient magic, which puts her life and power at greater risk than ever. But Raegan has always been one to take the bull by the horns, determined to be an agent of the change she seeks.

Then along comes Sebastian Sallow: the one wild card she could never control.

Burdened by his own dark past and seeking a way back on the right path…and into the heart of his reluctant friend, he becomes entangled in Raegan’s mysteries once more without restraints or reservations, save for this: the suspicion that she’s keeping more than one harrowing secret.

Not that he doesn’t have a few of his own.

The two might just need to look into a mirror - to mend what is fractured before it entirely falls apart.

Chapter Synopsis: Raegan’s got a full plate and yet still finds herself feeling empty, seeking something to fill that hole - though she may get more than she’s bargained for, if Sebastian has anything to say about it.

Words: 4.6k

Rating: T (some ~scandalous~ inner ramblings from seb and adult language)

After posting solely on other sites since starting this story, I decided to add tumblr to the mix since I’ve been more active on here recently. This is kind of a preview, if you will - if you want to read the first five chapters head over to wattpad or ao3.

It was a good thing Raegan had favored the outdoors over the summer because, in the days that followed her visit to the Map Chamber, the only sunlight she saw was during Advanced Flying class - save for the times she chose to do her reading in the meadow Vivarium. If that even counted.

It took a mediocre twenty-four hours for Raegan to succumb to loneliness. Without Sebastian, Ominis, Diana, or any of the others sitting beside her, the only company she had was that of her phoenix.

(Never mind Soleil’s penchant for bringing her small rodents he’d caught in the tall grasses of the fields).

Of course, her isolation during such a busy time of year had everyone worrying all the more - Garreth had started to conveniently appear in the common room every time Raegan returned before bed, no doubt waiting up like a concerned mother to a rebellious teenager, and Natsai was less than subtle about sneaking glances at Raegan as she changed to inspect for any more cuts or bruises.

As much as she loved them all, for one of the first times in Raegan’s life, she was starting to appreciate having some time to herself.

Not that that time was proving to be very productive. Though Raegan and her friends had already scoured the library from top to bottom for any reference to ancient magic last year, Raegan took to resuming the search.

With little luck.

What was that thing people said about the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results?

Raegan was self-aware enough to know when she was in a rut and confident enough to know there was always a way out.

But that hope grew weaker and weaker with each discarded book and pounding headache from lack of sleep. As much as she knew her friends would be more than willing, she did not dare ask for help.

Even (and especially) from the one person Raegan knew would be the best for the job.

Gods, school just started, and already I need a vacation.

Luckily, a reprieve offered itself up by the end of their first week back at Hogwarts - delivered to her on a silver platter Friday evening.

Classes were over for the day, and instead of retreating into the solitude of her secret room, Raegan made her way down to the Quidditch pitch with the other hopeful Gryffindors. There was quite the crowd already assembled, hopefuls from every year clutching brooms both bought and borrowed and donning uniforms in varying states of wear.

The sixth years all seemed to converge in a semi-circle at the front of the pack; Garreth, Natty, Leander, Nellie, and Eric were all chattering excitedly by the time Raegan managed to find a spare uniform from the locker rooms.

“Ah, there she is!” Garreth beamed when he spotted Raegan approaching the group, pulling her into his side with an arm slung around her shoulder.

“Was just telling Eric and Nellie how you’re about to give them a run for their money. In fact …how about we make it interesting? Who’s betting?”

Last week, Raegan likely wouldn’t have thought twice about the casual gesture, or the way his eyes caught the light when they met hers. After the incident in Potions…well she had started to pay extra attention to the little things she'd previously dismissed.

Like how he was always finding some excuse to touch her, or that he was constantly singing her praises, or the spots of color in Garreth’s freckled cheeks that only seemed to bloom in her presence.

Raegan wasn’t clueless. But she was prone to a healthy dose of denial now and then, apparently.

“I’ll take that bet.” Raegan said, a smile creeping onto her lips.

Soon enough, Garreth’s pockets were clinking with silver and bronze coins, and a debate had broken out amongst the group - catalyzed by Leander’s refusal to bet on Eric, which snowballed into a fantastic display of masculine indignation.

Thankfully, the shrill shriek of a whistle cut through the din, and every Gryffindor in attendance went silent to face their Captain.

Raegan, who fancied herself a purveyor of fine taste, could not see what all the hype was about. Isaac Cooper was relatively handsome; with a mop of golden curls and tan skin, but he wasn’t anything special . Though considering how much Ominis raved about missing Quidditch games, she supposed it likely wasn’t just his looks that got people going.

“Welcome newcomers, and welcome back to our returning members. Right. This year, we’re starting fresh. Everybody gets a clean slate, got that?”

Several scoffs and murmurs of disbelief echoed amongst who Raegan assumed to be the existing teammates.

“Those of you who were on the team two years ago will get priority, but that doesn’t mean you won't be replaced.” Isaac said evenly, gaze taking a moment to settle on each student as he addressed the crowd.

“We will rotate positions every ten minutes, so make sure you put your best foot forward. That being said: I’m sure we’re all anxious to get to dinner, so first up is…”

Isaac began rattling off a list of names - Garreth and Natty were the only ones of real note. It left Raegan’s mind to wander as she sized up the other hopefuls - most of them hardly able to walk upright without difficulty on a good day.

Most of them knew it, too, and had shown up anyway.

Every Gryffindor loved a bit of glory.

“Hey,” Garreth nudged her shoulder, strapping on elbow pads as he spoke. “Better get him out of here before Isaac gets wind of a spy and goes ballistic.”

He answered her questioning glance with a vague gesture of his gloved hand towards the entrance, where indeed a spy had arrived clad in green and silver.

“My guess is he’s here for a good luck kiss.” Garreth taunted.

There was something behind his eyes even with that flippant demeanor - a question.

”Well, I don’t need luck, so he made the trip for nothing.” Raegan said half-heartedly, watching Sebastian’s figure approach them casually.

“However, I will give you one before I kick him out.”

Garreth’s brows shot to the clouds, but he had little time to bring himself back to Earth before Raegan leaned forward and bestowed a peck on his heated cheek, popping up on the balls of her feet to reach.

“ Brilliant… ” Garreth mumbled when she’d pulled away to give him an indulgent smile. “Er - I mean, thanks. Definitely feeling lucky now.”

Raegan's snort of amusement made him quick to add, “Not like that! I meant to say… Oh, Merlin’s beard, you’re a menace!”

”I’ve been called worse.”

With one final, lilting “ Break a leg !” over her shoulder, Raegan walked off, shaking her head upon making the discovery that blushing might very well be contagious.

Maybe a relationship was out of the question given the current state of her affairs, but what was the harm in a little flirting between friends to test the waters?

And speaking of flirty friends…

Sebastian met her near the wide entrance to the pitch, the bravado-soaked grin he often donned present, though his eyes didn't possess their usual accompanying crinkle.

"My favorite Gryffindor.” He greeted her, arms crossing over his chest as he relaxed against the wooden post. “Don’t worry, I come in peace. Just wanted to wish you luck in tryouts - though I’m sure you’ll outfly them all.”

Flattery. One of his favorite tactics.

From the pocket of his breeches, Sebastian produced a single, vibrantly green clover which boasted not three, but four leaves.

“Just in case.”

“Where did you even find this?” Raegan moved automatically to pluck the stem from his fingers, studying it in the sunlight. “Transfigured, is it?”

"Found it myself. Suppose I'm quite talented at finding rare things."

His eyes darted to her hair; the copper strands knotted in a loose braid down her back, and tucked the clover securely behind her ear.

Why she didn't immediately rip out and incinerate the damn thing was a mystery, but she found it nearly impossible to do much besides hold her breath until he’d restored the space between them.

She was trying not to remember the smell of pine and candy and smoke.

"Is that all you came here for?" Raegan cleared her throat, glancing back as the whoosh of several brooms taking flight created a light breeze.

"Why are you always so suspicious of me?" Sebastian placed a hand over his heart as if mortally wounded.

"You're lucky I'm not blessing you with a kiss - though I see you've already got that handled."

Ah, so he did see that. Good.

"Be careful, is all I'm saying. People may start to think you two are..." He trailed off, the silence punctuated by an exaggerated raise of his brows.

Raegan couldn't let that one slide. "It's nobody's business who I'm courting; I've no real family to embarrass anyway, and I could give a damn what this lot thinks besides.

"Not that I'm courting anyone. Or planning to. So-"

Please, mouth, stop moving for once. She had to inhale greedily, having rushed it all out in one stuttered breath.

"Relax, don't have a fit." Sebastian shook his head. "I think it's sweet. I mean... you could do a lot worse than Garreth. Or a lot better, depending on your perspective."

What was that meant to be, reverse reverse psychology?

"I'm not involved with Garreth, for Merlin's sake." Her huffed sigh ruffled the stray hairs escaping from their plait.

An escape was exactly what she needed right now, if only to avoid the ridiculous dance they'd found themselves trapped in.

"Right. I know that."

Do you?

"Glad we've cleared that up, then. Now, unless you want to stand in as Cooper's personal Bludger, you'd better make yourself scarce." Raegan warned, brow arching high.

"Alright, I know when I'm not wanted. Best of luck again, Rae."

He strolled across the bridge, disappearing from sight before she had time to question the entire exchange.

Thankfully Raegan got through tryouts with all her bones intact, and with a spectacular performance (if she did say so herself) to boot - the likes of which had absolutely nothing to do with the four leaves wilting amongst her waves.

Just as she was heading back to the castle - disheveled and glistening with perspiration that demanded a bath - the voice of Lucan Brattleby carried over her shoulder.

"Raegan! Natsai! Garreth!" He jogged up to the trio, still panting from his tryout. "Great flying out there! To think we'll all be teammates soon, huh?

Anyway, I wanted to be the one to share: the first round of Crossed Wands is all set for Monday at 4. Assuming you ladies are still competing?"

"Of course, Lucan. Wouldn't miss it." Natty smiled at the fourth year.

"Yeah, count me in, too." Raegan chimed. "Might as well go for the Champion title two years in a row."

"That's the spirit! And it'll bring a huge crowd; everyone will be dying to watch one of the school's heroes compete." Lucan beamed.

The hero worship thing was sort of adorable - if not mildly disconcerting.

"And you'll be organizing the betting again, Garreth?"

"You bet your galleons I am." Garreth replied as the money he'd collected tinkled like bells in his pocket.

Those two should start a business, truly. They'd be richer than the Gaunts.

"Brilliant! Well, off to dinner. See you guys there!" Lucan gave them a jovial wave before joining his own friends.

"So, Raegan..." Garreth cleared his throat as they, too, exited the pitch with the summer-brown grass brushing their muddied boots.

"How are the potions helping?"

For the love of-

Natty shot a questioning look between her two friends, face screwing up in preparation for whatever distressing news she was about to receive.

"Potions? And helping...what?" She asked.

"Now you've done it," Raegan groaned after shooting Garreth a withering glare. "They're only to alleviate the headaches I've been getting lately. Perfectly safe; Gryffindor's honor.

"And they've been working just fine." She added spitefully.

Liar. She had to take at least three a day, and most of the time Raegan maintained the dull, throbbing ache that never went away.

"But why are you getting headaches?" Natsai probed as they walked, her eyes ignoring the path in favor of studying Raegan.

"Yes, why are you? You still haven't even told me, and I'm your bloody dealer." Garreth grunted.

"Beats me. Nurse Blainey said everything appears to be fine." She lied again.

Raegan hadn't dared to pay a visit to the matron since the last time she'd been forced to endure the hospital wing's melancholy. How many friends had she in those beds already? Natty, Sebastian, Diana... even Leander (Chomping Cabbage incident; don't ask).

Dreadful place.

"Well, there has to be something." Natty pressed gently.

"I'm fine, Natty, as I've assured you ceaselessly. Now please, can't we talk about this another time? I need to change my bet on Lucan after seeing that Seeking he pulled off."

———

A hot bath, several helpings of chicken, and more than one slice of apple tart later, Raegan was relieved to sink into the comforting embrace of her curtain-covered bed at last.

She tried to sleep for once. Really tried. There was even a good hour somewhere around two in the morning that she drifted off only to experience the usual rude awakening that doused her in sweat for the second time that day; sheets tangled around her legs like ropes.

Suddenly, the fire burning in the dorm's stove wasn't welcoming - it was suffocating.

There remained enough sense in her half-awake state to pull a robe over the nightgown that clung to her like a second skin. Raegan all but stumbled into the stairwell with little regard for her roommates' peaceful slumber (she owed them all magical earplugs for Christmas at this point).

The journey to the Undercroft was no peaceful stroll. Shadows peeked around corners and snuck up to whisper unintelligible secrets; forcing the nightmares back to the surface like a photo in a dark room.

Well. If she wouldn't be afforded the luxury of sleep, at least she could be somewhat productive.

Upon exiting the elevator, Raegan crossed the room in search of the loose (well, it hadn't been before she'd pried it free) brick at the far wall, sliding it from its slot as the sweat on her body chilled.

Reaching in, her hands felt blindly for-

Ah.

Isidora's journal entries were still rolled and tied together just as Raegan had left them last year. Diana wanted to destroy them upon discovering San's memory, but Raegan possessed the foresight to smuggle them away, just in case. They'd both thoroughly pored over the documents already, searching for any possibility of a code the former Professor may have used, or certain letters made darker, or...

Perhaps the girls read too many mystery novels together.

It proved to be a useless endeavor, anyway, as the entries were plain as day - and frustratingly brief to boot.

What scholars thought of insanity was beginning to seem suspiciously close to her reality.

As Raegan rubbed a hand over her foggy eyes, the words on the centuries-old pages gradually came into focus. She read until her eyes might as well have been bleeding and burned with the urge to blink, and every letter was combed through at least three times over until her impatience reached a boiling point.

“'I've left them a trail to follow’ ...well, what bloody good is that trail if it has a dead end?!" Raegan growled.

She took to pacing the length of the open space with the letters crumpled in a white-knuckled fist.

"Useless. Damned stupid , bloody Isi-"

The heat was the first sign that she was about to have what Ominis would call "an episode". Following its building warmth in her palm was the burst of flame, its sudden orange-yellow glow bringing tears to her eyes.

"Fuck! Oh, now I've done it."

Raegan dropped the parchments immediately, letting them flutter to the ground before she stomped out the fire with feet she now realized to be bare.

But it hadn't been necessary: they were the same wrinkled, faded beige they'd always been without a speck of black. Both brows knotting together, Raegan stooped to examine the unchanged pages - only to remark that there was a difference, after all. Words had appeared in veins of liquid gold, written in an even messier scrawl on the back of each page.

I've never been so happy to be a hothead in my life.

"Isidora, I take it back." She breathed.

The excitement was short-lived; becoming frustration once more when she looked closer to discover that it was a language she couldn't fully comprehend.

Scottish Gaelic, to be sure. An ancient-looking form at that, complete with several runes she had only come across once or twice and never taken the time to decipher.

The clang of the elevator jolted her to attention, and Raegan made haste to stuff the journals back into their hiding spot - but not quite fast enough.

She had barely finished shoving the stone back when Sebastian's voice rang out.

"Raegan? What are you doing here?"

He was better at finding her than the Ministry was at hunting down underage wizards using magic on vacation, and it was beginning to become uncanny. Possibly a bit unsettling.

"Er...I couldn't sleep. Just needed a change of scenery." Raegan cleared her throat as she turned slowly to face the music.

"So you thought an underground lair would be a good place for fresh air?" He chuckled, eyes wandering to the wall behind her. It appeared he had been in a similar state, considering the mussed hair and the sweater he'd thrown on over a pair of loose trousers.

"Hiding something, are we?"

He didn't miss a thing. Couldn't he be just a bit less observant?

" No ."

There was a moment of silence that rapidly escalated to a standoff. Neither of them broke eye contact for a long moment, waiting for the other to break-

Sebastian drew his wand, the brick sliding out of the wall before the pages flew into his hand with a simple "Accio".

"Give those back, you thief!" Raegan lunged for the Slytherin, reaching desperately, her chest pressed to his as she raised on her tiptoes precariously and swatted at Sebastian as though in the midst of a game of Quidditch.

He seemed endlessly amused; judging by the easy smirk tugging on his lips when he met her eyes. Still holding the precious documents high above his head - too high for her to reach.

"Mmm, don't think so." Sebastian chirped victoriously. "Let's see what you're keeping from me, shall we?"

He twisted away expertly, unfurling the papers with dramatic flair before she could dart around to grab them.

"Isidora's journals..." He thought aloud. "But why all the secrecy? I bloody found them with you-"

Before he could steal another moment to further investigate the shimmering ink, Raegan snatched them away at last with a hiss.

"Why can't you keep that big nose where it belongs?" She chided.

"What is that?" He went on, undeterred by her annoyance - likely, he was just used to working around it by now. "That writing...it wasn't there before, was it?"

"Very perceptive."

"I try." His eyes drifted over her, then - seemingly noting for the first time that her attire was less than proper; only the semi-sheer ivory nightdress to cover her freckled skin, which still glistened faintly with sweat in the torchlight.

Sebastian's POV

She looks like an angel.

Raegan in general was anything but the picture of heavenly virtue. On the contrary, her color palette was reminiscent of the hellfires they spoke of in Dante's Inferno: all flaming hair and clothes in varying shades of autumn leaves and obsidian.

Even her eyes... startlingly golden, save for the time he'd seen them glow a blinding red.

Yet now he couldn't help but wonder if heaven's gates might be guarded by this avenging angel standing before him; a vision of righteous vengeance in purest white.

It drove his thoughts somewhere downright sinful.

The way the length of her throat glowed with flush and a sheen of sweat sent him spiraling - the same throat he'd imagined running his tongue along in his wildest dreams.

He should have been commended for resisting the urge to let his eyes stray below the neckline of her dress, even with the generous curves outlined beneath that cursed garment still visible in his peripheral.

Abort mission. Abort, abort, abort...

"Would you like to paint a portrait? It'll last longer."

Oh, fuck.

"I-I wasn't staring. Sorry, just...mind was elsewhere." Sebastian fumbled, blinking several times to refocus on her face. Only her face.

Somehow, that turned out to be the greater of two evils.

"Yes; in the gutter, it seems." Raegan mused.

Why did she have to call him out like that? Why did she have to be so incredibly candid and exacting? Or was Sebastian simply more transparent than he'd initially thought?

Gods, now I'm sweating.

"You... you're trying to change the subject." Sebastian re-fortified his questionable resolve, squaring his shoulders and dismissing the pang in his gut as mere discomfort.

"So, have you read them? What do they say? Anything about-"

"I was about to before you came barging in."

"Can you even read Scots?"

He didn't doubt her intelligence when he knew perfectly well the girl was at least partially fluent in three languages - but there was a set to her jaw that told him she was frustrated about something.

"I can read...a bit of it." She amended. "A few words are similar to Irish, but some are entirely different."

Raegan straightened, avoiding his gaze to roll the papers back up pointedly.

"Doesn't matter. I can translate it in an hour at the library."

"You sure about that?" Sebastian saw his chance, and he was damn well going to take it. All week he'd sought out rather pitiful excuses to spend even a moment with her despite all evidence that she wanted next to nothing to do with him.

It was time to take matters more firmly into his hands.

"From the looks of it - before you tore it from my hands like a wild animal - that isn't the modern dialect. Might even be Early Scots..."

That ever-present air of distrust grated at his nerves while she cocked her head thoughtfully.

How could he resist an opportunity to unravel the mystery they'd never gotten to crack last year? Sebastian lived and breathed a good mystery, especially when it was someone else's so he could have a break from the weight of the world on his shoulders.

He supposed that was Raegan's burden now. The least he could do was help her ease it. Plus, a bit of research would be a better occupation for his thoughts, rather than everything else recently rotting away in the corners of his consciousness.

And if it meant a chance to make up for a few regrets in the process...

"Let me help. I can have them all translated by Monday." He asserted.

She's hesitating. Maybe-

"No, I don’t think so.”

Of course not.

Sebastian leaned to the side, crossing his arms and putting on his best "don't be ridiculous" expression that typically got the point across.

"Ignore your bloody pride for a moment. You obviously are dying to know what's on those pages, and I suspect you have enough on your plate without adding an extra task to the list."

"It's not pride , I just don't need your help when I can do it myself."

"I'm well aware you could do it, Raegan." His voice softened, fearing that any more of his usual flippancy would drive her heels further into the ground. "Just because you can doesn't mean you should have to.

"You needn't do everything on your own, you know."

That seemed to hit something - something deep, from the way her mouth turned down into a frown, and how he resented that sight; like the sun hiding behind clouds and turning down the world's vibrancy.

The last thing he expected to hear was, "I don't want anyone else to know."

Was that... did she-?

"Nobody?" He raised a brow skeptically. "Not even Diana?"

"Especially not Diana." Raegan sighed. "You know how she feels about Isidora, she doesn't even know I still have these."

Sebastian thought that keeping something from her best friend likely wasn't the best course of action, but he could hardly lecture her when he'd done the very same thing in the year past.

He was ready to say, " Why ?" Why , when she had barely deigned to look at him since stepping through the doors of the Great Hall or even lowered herself to have a conversation lasting longer than five minutes, was she suddenly willing to accept his help?

Not that he was complaining, of course.

"Alright. I can understand the need for discretion. I won't breathe a word of this." Sebastian nodded solemnly.

The pause that followed... Sebastian often wondered if she inserted them after he spoke purely for dramatic effect. Or, more likely, Raegan relished in making him suffer.

"And don't even think about copying them."

"I wasn't going to!" Sebastian protested, yet he had to smile a bit - three months was nothing compared to a lifetime, sure, but at eighteen it seemed to be a year. Despite their distance, she still knew him like he knew one of his favorite books by heart.

Anyway, there was no need to copy them. Reading the journals a couple of times over would be just as effective in preserving the information for himself.

“However, if we are going to be partners-“

”- More like distant associates, but…”

”I have one condition. Since I’m so generously offering my time.”

”- Which you volunteered to provide.”

Sebastian tried out that eye roll she was so fond of, and to his displeasure, it didn’t seem to have the same effect.

“One condition: that you study with me next week.”

A simple enough request. Raegan didn’t seem to agree with the way her lips curled back in obvious distaste, but after a moment she pursed them again.

“One hour.”

"Deal.” It was more than Sebastian had dared to hope for, honestly. “Now, go on, hand them over. You look exhausted, you should get some sleep."

Raegan scrunched her nose, irritated by his blunt observation. "My eye bags aren't nearly as bad as yours."

But she obliged, whipping the roll of parchment into his awaiting hand.

"Maybe not." Sebastian accepted the offering and delivered a light thwack with them to her pert nose. “You do pull it off, though."

Before she had time to answer with an angry huff or a scathing remark, Sebastian waved the pages in the air in a nonchalant farewell, catching her eye over his shoulder as if he couldn't help but steal every last look he was able.

"By the way! I’ve found Calming Draughts help with the night terrors. You should have Garreth make you some, in addition to whatever else he's been brewing up for you."

How lucky Sebastian was to see the mix of emotions playing across her face before the doors clanged shut and the darkness swallowed him up once again. Even her (admittedly adorable) scowl was insufficient in wiping the grin off his face that lit up the night; a ray of sunlight in a shadowy wood.

Bonus pic of the losers aka the part where Seb gets all up in her space with that dang clover:

[snow-system-wol]

Another perspective on the "Fray Incident", and a necessary follow up conversation. A rather unpleasant encounter followed by a far softer one.

(References events from both the Fray Incident and recent Exarch POV.)

Ao3

[choking, mild injuries, referenced past (unintentional) self-harm]

“While I hardly have the time to check in constantly, I nonetheless cannot help myself from wanting to be sure of your continued survival.”

The sentiment came from a place of genuine relief, and slight embarassment, but truly it was a mercy to have S'ria whole and unharmed back in his Ocular. He was not paying incredibly close attention to what he was saying, but it seemed quite harmless and inoffensive. Perhaps not, though.

The Exarch knew he'd made a mistake of some sort the second the words left his mouth, with S'ria's eyes going cold. He'd never truly been scared of the Warrior of Light before, only awed, but – striding quickly towards him like this, the Exarch had a flash of genuine fear.

Perhaps warranted, as S'ria shoved him into the wall just adjacent to the portal. His hand closed around the Exarch's throat and – he'd always thought S'ria's hands looked deceptively delicate, but he'd never felt the wrongness of that assumption as keenly as he did now.

The Exarch was… fairly certain that S'ria would struggle to kill him like this, in the heart of his tower and with crystal half protecting his neck. That logic did not stop the instinctive panic of his breathing being restricted, grabbing at S'ria's arm for leverage and keeping the toes of his sandals on the floor as much as possible.

S'ria closed much of the space between them. Like this, the Exarch and S'ria were nearly face to face, with him partially lifting the Exarch and closing some of that height gap. He makes some sort of growl, low and threatening, and the Exarch quite frankly wasn't aware that a miqo'te could make that sound. He almost missed it when S'ria started to speak.

“The room you gave S'ria.”

It was harsh, flat, nothing like the man the Exarch knew. Even before the Exarch noticed the third person referral to S'ria, he already had his suspicions about what may have been happening. He hadn't expected the tales to actually be true though, even if they were rather pervasive.

The Exarch's head was entirely full trying to process the smoothness with which S'ria had been replaced, so much so that he nearly forgot anything had been said. 

The Exarch swallowed before trying to respond and – gods, it felt awful, to be honest, the bony shift of cartilage against a chokehold. “I don't… follow?”

At least the pressure didn't increase, but he could feel the increase in anger and frustration from – well, he knew who this was, right? If the accounts were true, this must be that missing piece of the puzzle that had eluded him, trying to understand what people had possibly meant about this Fray.

Upon meeting them, the Exarch thought he understood a little more, about how obvious it must have been in those accounts that this was not the same person as S'ria.

“The room”, and the Exarch can feel their hand twitch, “have you been watching?”

“Wh–”

The Exarch didn't even quite get the whole word out before he understood exactly what had Fray so aggressive. He worried that he had given the wrong impression, the way he venerated S'ria, and he could easily see why Fray so belatedly realizing that the Exarch could scry anywhere with impunity might… bring about some mistrust. He wouldn't… as much as he wanted to check on S'ria's safety, intentionally trying to satisfy some crude curiosity was unthinkable.

He should have clarified this from the beginning, that he'd had such a thing at his disposal but promised not to use it for ill.

(Or would that have been worse, to so blatantly stoke paranoia without any way to tell if he broke the promise?)

The Exarch tried his best to shake his head. “No! No, I would… never…”

S'ria had been through enough. He would not add to that.

Fray leaned in, so terrifyingly close. Close enough that it made the Exarch realize, with a sort of wry irony, that this may well have been the first time “S'ria” had ever touched bare skin on him. Close enough, too, that it made the Exarch's eyes lock onto Fray's in alarm.

He knew S'ria's eyecolor. Perhaps embarrassingly well. That wasn't it. They were lighter and brighter – in truth, the Exarch wanted to pretend he did not notice the change since arriving here and put any implications of that well out of mind.

Fray's eyes widened and the eye contact somehow felt painfully exposing and – oh fuck.

In his utter distraction of racing thoughts and being strangled, he'd lost focus on his glamour for just long enough for Fray to briefly tear it away. It was only for a moment before he put the active effort in to fully restore it, but it felt like it was far too long.

They had to have seen.

Maybe Fray was a new tagalong, not present during the days of G'raha Tia.

Maybe there was no danger of losing his painfully kept anonymity.

Fray let go of his throat, with at least the decorum to let the Exarch use their arm as support for the few seconds needed to kneel gently – as opposed to fully collapsing. The gratitude only lasted long enough for the Exarch to realize he needed to retract his claws from their arm, that his fingers were wet, and then it was replaced with horror. The Exarch hadn't even noticed doing that – he wasn't sure if he'd dug new injuries into S'ria's skin or reopened the half-healed injuries already there. He wiped his hand on his robe as if hiding the evidence meant it'd not happened.

Fray seemed entirely unbothered by the injury, just stepping well away as if they'd rather get away from the situation.

By the time Lyna was fussing over him, having dashed to him the second Fray backed away, whatever change seemed to have reverted. S'ria was clutching his bleeding arm, staring at the Exarch with a look of confused guilt on his face, already starting to ramble apologies. Oh dear, S'ria really didn't remember all that, did he? 

“I apologize. For the accusation.” It was a painfully stiff delivery, but it at least sounded honest.

 ----------

“I want to talk about what happened, before we set out from the Crystarium again.”

The Exarch sat at the table in S'ria's room, looking somehow distinctly uncomfortable with actually being inside and even more uncomfortable with S'ria sitting at his side. Upon hearing S'ria's words, he looked up with a smile.

“If you have called me here to apologize again, pray do not concern yourself.”

S'ria gave him a wry look. “That is not all I have to say, but I will still apologize. I may not remember it, but I hurt you – and could've badly harmed you – so I am still… very very sorry for that. I do not know what the problem was, but you could not have said anything to justify violence.”

The Exarch chuckled with little mirth. “No, the fault is truly mine, for making it so difficult for you to trust my intentions. I simply hope that you and Fray both are satisfied that I mean you no harm.”

S'ria frowned at him, wholy unsatisfied with such a response. “I believe we are, but – there are others who deserve this more than you. I worry the anger was… misdirected in frustration.”

There was a long moment of silence in which it was obvious that the Exarch was fighting the urge to ask about recent events, but it was likely for the best that he decided not to. Too delicate a moment by far.

With no immediate response given, S'ria continued. “No, what I wanted to talk to you about… well, Fray themself. As interesting of a misconception you've gotten, I'm nervous it'll cause more problems than it'll fix. I just hope a half-explanation will be good enough.”

“No explanation at all would be good enough, any more than that is not to be taken for granted.”

S'ria wished somewhat that the Exarch would be a bit less charitable. It threw him off-guard every time.

“It really isn't anything so – I just don't want you to go around thinking I'm possessed by something and getting any unnecessary concerns about it later. Fray is just part of me, not something that could just be banished or some entity with schemes of their own." It was an odd feeling for him. That was the first time S'ria had ever openly accepted that link between them, at least in those words. "And I do not know of a single other time they've intentionally harmed an ally so… I don't think that there is any danger – though I'd understand if you had your doubts.”

The Exarch still seemed relatively calm and still unworried. “If they do not see me as an ally, then I dare say that streak remains unbroken.” Despite the calmness, there was a palpable amount of sadness seeping into his voice.

S'ria looked stricken. “I don't think that there is any remaining confusion about that, not on their part. But truly, I am so sorry for –”

The Exarch did not even audibly shush him, simply held a finger up to his lips in a motion that made S'ria cut off the moment he saw it.

“I shall have none of that. Fray may have gotten aggressive with me, yes, but you were entirely uninvolved – and yet I have left you with injuries.”

S'ria's expression was unreadable, caught somewhere between disbelief and something vulnerable.

The Exarch slowly lifted two upturned palms, kept low and well away from S'ria.

“Will you at least permit me to right that wrong?”

S'ria's breath caught in his throat. The smart thing to do would probably be to say no, given the other factors still in play. And yet, whether it be some lingering softness towards the shy scholar who'd told him stories by the fire years ago or just a desire for kindness in the moment, he did not refuse.

S'ria's coat was already off, leaving his arms mostly bare, so there was little more to do than just lean forward and place his arm in the Exarch's waiting hands. Based on the stifled gasp he heard, the Exarch had not expected him to agree either. Belatedly, S'ria realized he hadn't actually needed to go so far – it wasn't as if the Exarch actually needed to touch him. This was, perhaps, excessively intimate – but not quite uncomfortably so.

“May I?”

He was even waiting for verbal permission, despite how clear the motion had been? S'ria nodded and felt another pang of guilt over Fray's paranoid aggression, merely over how wrong they'd been.

The Exarch gently turned S'ria's arm to inspect it – deep gouges from his still clawed hand, bruises in the shape of his crystalline hand, and, of course, a slightly more healed version of the sight he'd glimpsed before at Holminster Switch.

(The Exarch was unsure if it was better or worse than he'd thought from that brief accidental glance, but the mess of claw marks was…extensive. It was frankly a wonder nothing had become infected, but S'ria must've at least taken care of the injuries after whatever incident – he was uncertain which set of injuries he felt worse about.)

The Exarch's face was calm and blank as he handled S'ria's arm, and that was somehow both immensely reassuring and terrifying at the same time. After all, S'ria knew exactly what he was allowing the Exarch to inspect – and the man was hardly dense.

The sudden glow and warm wash of healing magic was mostly familiar – though the feeling of it was not. 

Normally it stung at least a little (if not more than a little), but this was painless. Perhaps it was that injuries this small were rarely healed, perhaps a century of studying magic really did work wonders.

Beneath the obscuring light, the injuries inflicted by the Exarch disappeared. He wordlessly continued to heal the others, healed to the faintest of lines. Almost like such a mistake had never happened.

S'ria drew his arm back, fingertips still tingling from the hum of magic. The Exarch smiled up at him, shy and nervous.

“Might you allow me to do the same with the other?”

The brief panic that rose in S'ria made him freeze. He was tempted to insist that it was fine, the Exarch had done no harm on that side, so there was nothing to concern himself with. Ah, he really wasn't managing to hide the situation from the Exarch at all, was he?

It wasn't meant to be acknowledged – and while the Exarch breathed not a word of worry or judgment, this in of itself was acknowledgement. 

In lieu of trying to explain himself or dig himself into a conversation he wished to avoid, he simply offered the Exarch his other arm. S'ria could've almost crawled out of his skin watching him gently inspect the extent of it, without the excuse of pretending he was only looking at the injuries he'd dealt Fray.

S'ria relaxed suddenly, as the healing began. It took several moments to realize part of his reaction was from recognizing the faint out-of-practice purr from the Exarch's chest. He probably was worried about soothing S'ria's anxiety, but S'ria doubted he was quite aware that he was doing that – given that the miqo'te thing was ostensibly still a secret.

It was still more pleasant than it had any right to be, after not hearing the sound for quite some time. The Exarch finished his healing, leaving only mostly unmarred skin in his wake (and he still didn't ask any questions, thank the gods). The purring was still ongoing and the feeling of his thumb absentmindedly tracing S'ria's arm was both far more pleasant and far less alarming than he'd expected.

He was half tempted to ask for those things back, the chaste touch and rusty rumbles both, but – much as the Exarch refrained from asking if he'd harmed himself, S'ria was not meant to draw attention to the rapidly unraveling mystery of the Crystal Exarch's identity. So it goes.

All nice things come to an end, as the Exarch's distraction did not last long. He pulled his hands away from S'ria and cleared his throat, killing the purrs before they could continue.

[sailtomarina]

Lovin' is Easy

With a growl that startled the woman the next table over, Hermione swiped left on the face grinning from her phone. That same face had sat across from her no less than five minutes ago and had spent an hour talking about himself without asking once about herself. 

She wasn’t proud of the way she’d lost her cool. The man had stopped mid-word at her outburst, his face contorting in disbelief, then stormed out without even clearing his side of the table.

This was unfortunately not the first time this had happened.

Hermione had gone through a handful of similar such occurrences, all at different cafes due to her embarrassment of the baristas recognising her after each inevitable scene. The wizards either stormed out in self-righteous indignation, or, what she was starting to think was worse, shrugged and left without causing a scene at all like Hermione wasn’t even worth the emotional investment.

She stared blankly at her phone for a few more seconds before long-pressing and deleting the dating app entirely. 

She was done.

No more dating apps. No more dating, at all. She didn’t care what any of her friends said, or that her ex-boyfriend was now happily attached at the hip with a witch who was nothing like Hermione. It was with that thought that she opened up her address book and similarly hovered a thumb over “delete contact”. Charlie Weasley smiled up at her full of all the unburdened joy that photo had captured.

Try as she might, she couldn’t make herself push down. She didn’t hate Charlie, despite the way they’d ended things. She still loved him. Too bad love wasn’t enough to save them.

Hermione was still staring down at her phone when it started ringing. The unexpected sound jolted her from her memories, prompting her to nearly drop the blasted thing.

This time it was Luna’s face smiling up at her from her screen. Hermione should have known. Few others bothered with Muggle phones at all, much less took the time to call instead of text.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Hermione.” Luna’s sing-song voice helped soothe Hermione’s irritation.

“What’s going on?”

“Are you free this weekend?”

Hermione huffed. Of course she was free. She didn’t have a reason anymore to save her days off for trips to Romania. “I’m free. Why?”

“Thorfinn offered to help me scout out a promising location, and I thought we could make a group hike out of it. You enjoy hiking, don’t you?”

She did like hiking, but she was also aware that Luna’s “scouting” referred to her perpetual quest to find the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Granted, the magizoologist had made several groundbreaking discoveries of previously unknown magical creatures. Luna’s work took her to some truly awe-inspiring places, particularly because many of them required the witch to travel like a Muggle due to their remoteness and sometimes volatile magic.

“I do. What day are you thinking of going?”

“Early Saturday morning. You can meet us at my place.”

“Can I help with anything beforehand? Maybe bring something?”

“Maybe some snacks and lunch? The hike shouldn’t be too difficult, but we will be out most of the day.”

“I can do that.”

They chatted for a bit longer about where they were going and what Luna expected the weather and terrain to be like. From the sounds of it, Hermione wouldn’t need to bring any special gear. Still, she was as cautious as ever. It wouldn’t hurt for her to pack a few emergency supplies. She’d added her trademark Undetectable Extension Charms to all of her bags, along with Featherlight Charms that made carrying them effortless.

“Oh, and Hermione?” Luna added as they were wrapping up the call.

“Hm?”

“Bring enough food for four. Thorfinn’s inviting a friend.”

In hindsight, Hermione should have inquired further. She’d come to adore Thorfinn after getting to know him through Luna. So, it was without any sense of caution that she agreed. “No problem.”

“Great! We’ll see you Saturday.”

Read the rest on AO3, here!

Written for the FB Dolohoes’ Summer of Love Fest, Week 2: “Lovin' is Easy,” by Rex Orange County

3267 wc

Cross-posted on Tumblr, FB, and AO3.

It took me a day to let the ideas for this song simmer, but once I started writing, I couldn’t stop until I had everything down on paper. I ended up pulling straight from experience. This meetcute is actually almost exactly how I met my now-husband. Our mutual friend invited us on a hike where we met each other for the first time. The rest, as they say, is history. I’d like to think Hermione and Antonin followed a similar path to their own version of happiness.