#i gotta think about something else honestly it is not that important my brain is just frustrated

[cipheramnesia]

Re: your tags, I don't think this is going off the rails, and it's sort of interesting to me that what you're describing reflects similar to my experience (I was not depressed, but I was and still am baffled [well, maybe a little depressed - I cannot get over how unpleasant Ken's characterization was]), but it also raises an interesting point of nuance.

That is, there's the usual uniformed alt right critics who just hate anything that breathes near a woman, obviously there's not any nuance to that. However, generally speaking the crux of both people who love the movie and people with actual negative feedback (not just knee jerk reactivism) is the issue of nuance. Both groups seem to agree nuance is key but people who liked it feel criticism lacks nuance, while people who did not like the movie find it suffers from a lack of nuance.

There's different ways to approach the question - for example it's possible to argue that having these conversations represents the intended effect of the movie. I don't believe that to be the case, but it's a fair interpretation. It's arguable that the movie literally makes it's thesis statement in Gloria's monologue and intends the rest of the movie, whole cloth, as demonstrating this thesis. Which, I don't think it does, but also that's a valid interpretation - which is kinda the whole point of criticism, not to come to a right opinion, but to have a discussion about art.

On the third side, I find it weighs heavily that the response to negative criticism is either that we were thinking to much about a fun lighthearted movie or that we just didn't have the nuance to understand it. It's a scab I really need to stop picking at.

I mean saying the movie supported men's rights kind of ignores that what the kens did was painted as bad. Like that was very much the message of the film

That was the text of the film but not the message.

I'm not going to apply greater nuanced analysis to a movie that had all coherent structure papered over in producer notes. But for a movie that spends a lot of time pointing out situations that are unfair, not equal, or "bad" it didn't have anything to say about why or what might actually resolve the inequality.

Not saying it needs to author the revolution or anything, just it kinda stopped at "patriarchy bad because men rule all and are dumb boys who are gross" and I think that's boring? It's like hey, inequality sure is bad! And it seems like weird and wrong the girl empowerment doll for diverse women is exclusively developed by old white men! Followed by crickets chirping.

I was kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop, like yes, this is a pretty fun satirical look at gender and... and..? And that's it. Barbie world goes back to hierarchical control in a perfect utopia. The real world is unaffected because all those executives are just silly guys who are trying their best. Gloria gets to be a good mom, and hands her ideas over to the corporation. The new line of Barbies are Barbies that just don't want anything at all. And Margot Barbie just leaves.

Which is unfortunate because it starts out with a great deal of very interesting ideas, but ends up without anything much to say at all. It uses all the right words but mostly just kinda ascribes broad universal meaning and morality rather than considering any of it could have some underlying complexity.

We all know feminism can't hold hands with capitalism, but the Barbie movie wants the cache of the feminist movement beholden to the bottom line of Mattel's investors. And as a fun movie about children's dolls it's fine, but it's also selling itself as a feminist film, which it very much is not.

[myymi]

ohh if you can i would appreciate some tips!! honestly writers are so admirable we dont give yall enough credit🙏🙏🙏

well, for me to give you the absolute best tips i can to help out, i need to know what exactly you're struggling with when it comes to writing. there are about a million different tips i can give you for about a million different things and some of those tips will be completely useless to you

for now though, i'll give you the things that help me getting into a writing mood + general tips i give to new writers and if you still need further help you can explain what exactly you're struggling with and ill do my best to help out;

1) whatever you learned about formatting essays; forget it.

a common thing i see in new writers is they try to write it like an essay. which isn't a bad idea really, but it is restricting. your paragraphs don't have to be four or more sentences. they can only be one if you want. it's your story, format it however you want. you don't need to follow rules

2) listening to music

this is mostly for when you have that one specific scene in your head but have no idea what to do for the rest of the fic. listening to music and connecting the lyrics to the characters you're using is a great way to get your mind thinking. one song can give you several different ideas depending on how you interpret it

3) make sure you are in a good mood

personally, i cannot write to save my life if im upset or just generally having a bad day. i know some people can use creating as a way to cheer themselves up, but it just doesn't work out for me lol

4) if you don't need background noise, don't use it

it's pretty easy to get distracted when writing, especially when you have something new playing. if you do need background noise of some kind, i would advise playing instrumental music or that one movie/show that you've seen a thousand times and could quote in your sleep. keep your focus on your writing

5) brackets will be your best fucking friend when writing

one of the most important things about writing is keeping your flow going. if you find yourself writing sentence after sentence for a good while and then you suddenly hit a stop because you don't know how to word what happens next; throw it in brackets and write the scene after it. its the same reason why you're told to skip questions you get stuck on when taking a test. let your brain do what it knows it can and come back to the tricky stuff later.

6) you don't have to write anything in order

you don't have to write a story exactly start to finish. you can jump between any scene you'd like and find out how to connect it to a different scene another time. this kinda ties into the last tip in the sense that you gotta let your brain do what it knows. if you only know the beginning and the end then write those first and figure out the rest as you go. if you need to edit either one of the previous things then that's okay. there's no shame in changing things around, it's just how creating things go. sometimes change is needed

7) writing prompts

for new writers, i like to tell them to find a prompt online to write a story for before they start their own. using a prompt someone else made keeps your brain from getting overwhelmed, allowing you to focus more on finding a writing style that works best for you. using writing prompts also lets your brain find ways to contribute to a story without having it make everything while also figuring out how to put it on paper. it's easy to overwhelm the brain, so let it get used to writing before you start creating your own ideas. (this is also something i advise to people who experience burnout or just cant think of anything to write. your brain just needs a break from creating ideas right now, go and find a prompt for it)

8) word count

listen to me because this is so important; ignore the word count. you need to focus on learning, not how much you're writing. it doesn't matter if you only wrote 50 words when other people have fics well over 50k. ignore it. you are learning, you'll get there eventually. if you focus too much on how much you're writing you're going to stress yourself out and ultimately drive yourself away from ever writing again. treat word counts as milestones. start with 50, then 100, then 150, then 200, etc. let yourself work towards it slowly rather than push yourself too hard right out the gate. you can't expect to draw the mona lisa the first time you put a pencil to a paper, so don't expect to write thousands of words the first time you write a story. it'll take time, and that's perfectly okay.

9) analyze the shit out of your characters

this is easier when writing fanfiction, but take a few hours to learn your characters. find the content they're in and hyper-focus on what they're doing. pay attention to their speech patterns, their body language, their relationships with others, etc. if they're not in a scene, try to imagine they are and what'd they do and/or say if they were. it'll help out with keeping them in character when writing

10) if you get to a point where you can't write anymore even when using brackets; stop writing for the day

we have our limits. you will get to a point where you can't get another word down and that's okay. it doesn't matter if you've only written a handful of words, close your program and wait until you feel motivation hit you again. if you keep trying to force yourself to write when you just can't then you're going to burn yourself out. the most probable reason for this is writer's block, which means you need to focus on other things for a while. give your brain time to recollect itself. it's annoying, i know, but it's better for you if you just let your brain do what it needs to. it knows how to take care of itself, so let it.

i also have a tag i use whenever i give tips, so you can check those out as well to see if anything helps! it's just writing tips

[creppersfunpalooza]

( @allergic-to-four-leaf-clovers )

HELLOOO AND WELCOME BACK FOLKS!!! DUE TO A LACK OF SPONSORSHIP AS OF LATE, WE’VE STRUGGLED TO KEEP THIS LITTLE GAME AFLOAT, BUT FORTUNATELY, WE’VE GOT ONE!!! WOOHOOO!!!

FOR THIS ROUND, WE’VE GOT A COLLECTION OF FUN GUYS! ANGELIC BEINGS, LESS ANGELIC BEINGS, AND VARIOUS OTHERS (don’t you see i have a bias)!!!! NO USE STALLING, LET’S GET RIGHT TO IT!!!

*important disclaimer* i actually know very little about the following characters other than what the creator has directly told me. i’m going purely based on vibes.

COMING IN AT 5TH PLACE, WE HAVE RAYAN!! i love scars, man, i really do, and i also love soppy cats. so why is he so low, you may ask? because i do NOT 💥 think he should be mean to his fiance. come on my guy… be nice… spread peace and love!!!! peace and love!!!!!!!! put in some effort come on!!! put in the work!!!!! i know you can do it buddy you just gotta try!!!!!! pretty pretty please… anyways i do really like his design, its very simple while still conveying stuff about his character. like i dont know what he’s been through but clearly he’s been through a lot. but STILL 💥 BE NICE. 💥 TO YOUR. 💥 FIANCE 💥💥💥💥💥💥.

NEXT UP IN 4TH PLACE IS MADIR!!! i really do like madir!!! i know barely anything about him but once more i rlly like the details you mentioned about him. like he seems mildly unsettling and i love that for him. like you could probably find him in the woods just sort of hanging out. he’s a source of trauma but i honestly do not mind because at least HE 💥 would probably be nice to his fiancé. if he had one. i actually can’t speak on his behalf thats purely speculation.

IN 3RD, FOSTER!!!!! i don’t exactly know why i just think they’re neat. also hi in case you couldn’t tell i really like scars on characters 💖💖💖 love them they do something to my brain. and foster’s got a ton. i loove what you’ve told me about their backstory and they just seem so neat!!! i hope they’re healing now. even though. they’re probably not. because nobody is Allowed To Be Happy Ever. as a general rule for character making. anyways chewing on them and moving on.

BUT WAIT!! WE’VE ONLY GOT TWO LEFT!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS??????

it needs i need to put an ad here or else i’m getting fired. that’s what it means. SO HELLO!! DO YOU HAVE A WISH? DO YOU WANT A GOD THAT ACTUALLY LISTENS? THEN CONSIDER JOINING THE CHURCH OF OCELLUS!!!

for the small, small initiation fee of a limb or organ, you too can have your wishes granted! help our god gain more power by having him help you! all you’ve gotta do is give us a little bit of yourself for each wish! and you know what? it doesn’t even have to be you! have a beloved family member, partner, or friend? they work too! just nick off an arm while they’re sleeping! they won’t miss it!!!! join today to get an additional wish!!!!!! and remember, Bless Ocellus’s Good and Generous Name!

(sponsored by the Church of Ocellus. The Church of Ocellus does not claim responsibility for any bodily injury or harm to come from this ad. Sacrificial ritual tutorials not included. Please check out your local place of worship for more details before committing any acts of mutilation.)

AND WE’RE BACK FOLKS! SORRY ABOUT THE AD. LITERALLY NOBODY ELSE WILL SPONSOR US SO YEAH WE’RE HAVING TO RESORT TO UH… YEAH. ANYWAYS, LET’S GET BACK TO THE RATINGS!

COMING IN 2ND… AARIN!!! boy oh boy my love of supernatural entities is surely not warping my bias here!!! they seem really cool honestly, even besides the whole angel thing. like woah…. you don’t wanna be a tool used for destruction? too bad! you’re gonna be used to burn down a house! lmao!!!! also i absolutely love aarin’s design. their scars(?) are so fucking cool i love the swirlies. auuygghh so normal about angel guys….. so so normal……….

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, IN 1ST PLACE…. ZURIEL!!! LET ME JUST SAY ITS DESIGN IS SO SO SO SO COOL I CANT GET OVER IT IT JUST LOOKS SO AWESOME. I love the gradients on the claws and the shape of the halo. once again, surely my bias and love for supernatural creatures is in no way warping my opinion!! it’s my favorite. also rare but appreciated and loved it/it’s pronouns representation.

[eebie]

Sorry if this is kind of a strange question, I'm sure my wording is weird as it's hard to explain this in words, but would you be open sometime to maybe demonstrating/explaining/(not sure what word honestly) how you go about your doodles? There's this quality that's particularly noticeable in your sketches and less polished work where your grasp of things like movement and main forms and stuff becomes obvious- basically, you're pretty good at comprehending the bigger picture- and as someone who struggles with getting caught up in details to the point where it impedes my ability to draw, I'm curious to see if I can get into your brain a little bit.

sure!! it's very easy to get caught up in all the deets when it comes to drawing, n i totally relate. Sometimes as im drawing, i notice myself slowly drifting into more detail oriented stuff before i even get the main 'picture' of what im tryna draw down, and when i catch myself i have to be like LEAVE IT like i'm a dog trying 2 eat something i shouldnt off of the ground N haul myself back on track. it's very much something you have to unlearn, rushing to get the final thing you're picturing in your mind down on paper ASAP.

there's a metaphor I like to use with the tendency of bein stuck on the details: Imagine someone's carving a statue. Usually it starts off with em carving out a rough shape of one large stone, and only then moving onto the details once everything is sorted. Pretty straightfoward, right? Now, imagine they're trying to carve the same statue, but instead of doing that on one large, coherent piece of stone, working in stages, they immediately go to carve every detail out onto individual pieces which will then be stuck together (like a puzzle) to form the statue at the end. The results will be hella janky, and it will take MUCH more time to achieve something satisfactory, because there was no rough guideline that came before going into detail. you're essentially working backwards.

so i really try to focus on getting that gesture down before Anything else. gotta know where everything goes before you think about detail, and it can feel really awkward at first, it was for me, but it is an incredible help. Look at some of the gesture sketch examples that you can find on google, or even better watch videos of people doing it! For my figure sketching, i start with a single line that represents the spine, (S and C shapes are super important! Use them!) and then two rough shapes to represent the hips and shoulders. then it all branches out from there. You start with the trunk of the tree, then the branches, and then the leaves.

And it doesn't hurt to brush up on your general anatomy as well, cos it does help with knowing where things go. I really recommend watching Sycra, I learned almost everything about drawing anatomy from him ( https://www.youtube.com/user/sycra ) His story's pretty inspiring too, as he started art Very late and still became an incredible artist Hell yeah.

ik its better to actually See this stuff so here's a rough sketch to show my process :

[wisteria-lodge]

badger secondary + burnt lion secondary (fun bird model) (healthy bookeeper badger model) (unhealthy courtier badger model)

Hey, there! So, I've known my primary for a while now (Badger Primary) but I've been a little bit all over the place with my secondary. Was hopin' for a little help.

The one I'm positive I'm not is a Lion Secondary. I have a Double Lion best friend, and I could NEVER be as blunt as she is, and I'd never tell her this, but I honestly wouldn't want to. Lol! Being honest is an incredibly important thing to be, but there's a difference, at least in my mind, between honesty and saying the first thing that comes to your mind without letting it go through at least a little editing first.

Gotta keep the intended audience in mind.

Yeah, not sounding like a Lion secondary. And I'm kind of thinking Deliberate secondary for you (Bird or Snake.) What you're doing doesn't actually seem *automatic.*

For Bird, there's a possibility. I'm seen as very anxious, and I find new situations pretty stressful.

I mean, anyone can be anxious... and especially if it's a VERY new situation - that can be a lot for anybody.

I love collecting knowledge, and I always have an assortment of fun facts at hand that I've tirelessly collected over the years. It's a fun thing for me, and I enjoy doing it. I was also seen as very "intellectual" in school (which I know is not a requirement for being a Bird or a clear indication of being one, but I figured I'd mention it.) Loved school and loved learning, and I still love learning in my adulthood.

The issue is that, when the chips are down, and it's actually time to solve a problem, I tend to just kinda freeze mentally. The way Bird Secondaries are described, it's like, when a problem happens, they pull on a tool they've created for the situation, and then BOOM, they're using it to handle it.

Birds are good at retrofitting old tools to new situations, it's true. But I don't think I talk enough about what happens when a Bird just... comes up with nothing. And I think the answer is they start looking like a Lion secondary, kind of flailing around.

(I also think that *young* Bird secondaries have a way of looking kind of like Lions, because they haven't had an opportunity to build their tools yet.)

When bad things happen, my mind goes blank. I just kinda start doing stuff, anything. Sure, I might remember something important, like some specific training, but for the most part, my brain goes blank and I go into autopilot.

I don't know *how* bad we're talking here. But if you're in full on SURVIVAL mode, this is where the fight/flight/freeze/fawn kicks in. The reason training gets drilled in like that is so it *stays* when your brain isn't working. I've always found that the really intense stuff feels very quiet, and very dreamlike in the moment, and the emotions don't kick in until later. But the point is... that's not SHC stuff.

So far, you read as someone with a fun Bird model that you love, but your problem-solving is probably coming from somewhere else. (Or possibly it's Burnt...)

For Badger Secondary, I think that's the secondary I wish I could be, but I don't think I am. I have ADHD, so being meticulous and thoughtful are just... absolutely exhausting to me.

It might look a little different, but you can 100% be a Badger secondary with ADHD.

I was raised in a family that really pushed always being a Badger Secondary, forget about yourself, help others, others' problems are more pressing than your own.

Oooh that's not a Badger secondary family. What you're describing here is an Exploded Badger primary culture. And if you're a Badger primary yourself... I bet that got confusing.

(100% your family might have ALSO have required Badger secondaries from everyone, I would think that's likely. So I'll keep that in mind.)

Part of me didn't believe it, but much of me still does. I like to help, I want to help, but I'm also Badger Primary, which can feed that want. Secondary is about what you naturally do to serve what you want, and I'm not sure if Badger Secondary is right. But, I do try to be there for people. My natural instinct when someone is in danger is to protect and comfort them, I'm very focused on the mental/emotional state of the victim more than anything else.

Gee, you write like you're a rescue worker or a firefighter. (And a Badger primary.)

When in any kind of conflict at work, I want to soothe them, to calm them down, and I try to become what I think they might want me to be to help them calm down, but it doesn't always work. Part of me also always wants to tell those people fuck it, you caused your own problem, you're on your fucking own. Lol. And it would feel good to tell them that. I wish more tough love was accepted in the world, generally. I would feel like I could breathe more.

Okay, there's a lot going on here. You "become what I think they might want me to be" which is - Deliberate. And more Snake than Bird, because of the whole one-face-per-person thing. (It not working all the time is neither here nor there, you're human, you'll make the wrong call sometimes.)

But... you like the idea of a more tough-love Lion secondary approach. "I would feel like I could breathe more." And there's something about the Badger secondary that you like... maybe it's that "No, you move" energy.

As for Snake Secondary... this one might be it. Only problem is... I kind of don't want it to be? I know there's a whole thing about not letting go stereotypes get in the way, but I want to be the person I pretend to be, I guess. I want to be a Badger Secondary, but I'm afraid I'm a Snake Secondary because, from experience, people do not like you when you behave the way you truly want to. They shun you.

"Behave the way you truly want to."

Okay, let's unpack that.

The face-changing guys (Snake and Bird) want to be behave that way. They are authentic, in that their face-changing is consensual. Same thing with a Courtier Badger, with the caveat that their face-changing isn't as much of a deliberate choice. But it's still something that they want to do.

They can all run into situation where their face-changing is forced on them (becomes non-consensual) and is therefore inauthentic. This is a separate issue from the Lion secondary "eh, I'm going to rub some people the wrong way just by existing, comes with the territory, whatever." And I don't know which one is you.

If I wanna speak more "bluntly," not like my friend, but just more plainly, feel more like ME and less like a persona, people find me too negative, too sarcastic, I speak for too long, or I'm somehow either too passionate or dispassionate and I'm never ENOUGH either way. The performance is tiring. I want to be free to be me, but the true me isn't particularly good at anything.

Oh you're Burnt. I'm so sorry.

Because what you are talking about here is neurodivergent masking. (Which is totally different from Snake masking, I'm sorry the words are the same, I know it's confusing.)

'Too negative' shows up when you don't know if a comment is appropriate to the conversation or not. 'Too sarcastic' happens when you make a joke that doesn't land. 'Speaking for too long' - hyperfixations. 'Too passionate' - probably hypersensitivity. 'Too dispassionate' - possibly a flat affect, or a tendency to shut down.

Now I do not diagnose people here. That is impossible and unethical. But I can say that it sounds like you're masking all the time and that is exhausting. Especially especially for a Badger primary who needs communities they feel safe in, basically to exist.

I promise, I promise, I promise that there are communities out there where you can take off the mask.

I try to be who people want me to be, I try to be the puzzle piece that fits best in the world's puzzle, and I fail at that. I'm never quite what they're looking for.

It sounds like you're desperately trying to model Courtier Badger secondary, and it's hurting you.

Too clumsy, too forgetful, too focused on unimportant things, and I ultimately can't keep up the facade, the cracks begin to show that I'm a fraud and this put-together, organized person is absolutely NOT who I am, and I am shunned.

So you've built yourself a Bookkeeper Badger model. In order to keep your life organized. Good. But then you're guilty and like, sort of imposter-syndrome about the fact that this isn't your entire personality, that this isn't *enough*

Then, I try to be myself. More funny, more sarcastic, slightly more blunt, just slightly, just enough to reveal the passionate and opinionated person I am underneath. I woukd never want to actually hurt anyone's feelings, but I have to air out the things I truly feel every once in a while. I have to be me.

Sorry to break it to you, but you're a lion secondary. And you're plenty likable.

But, at least in some circles, I scare people away. Like it's sudden whiplash in the differences between my two personalities. Those I meet while trying to be my put-together persona are usually really turned off by the more real, true me. They usually don't get me, think my interests are weird, or that I'm just too intense (hearing Angelica Schuyler describe herself in Hamilton the first time... I'd never felt more seen by a character in something EVER. Some men say that I'm intense or I'm insane. Lol!)

Angelica's a pretty loud Lion secondary.

Now, I know to some degree it's my own Lion primary talking, but I read this and think "that sounds like a them problem." I know that having a Badger primary is going to make thinking that way harder, and having an Exploded Badger family culture is going to make it even harder than that.

But, I don't know what to tell you. You sound fun to hang out with. And there's a reason Badger Lion is the Protagonist sorting, and the Starfleet Officer sorting. People *like* them.

Well, anyway, that was a long winded way to ask for some help. Lol! Were you able to pick up on any clues? Thanks so much if you even attempted to read this! Lol.

Always with the Burnt secondaries and the apologies....

[sarida-candy]

My journey

I knew the loa with the subliminals, three years ago. at first it was yandere subliminal. I had been trying to manifest one with subliminals for 7 months. I had a problem at the time. then I got to know about subliminal boosters. so learn that there were subliminals for everything. for a while I had to stop the subliminals. I come back to listen to subliminals and there were several people who were exposed (rose subliminal, celestial subliminal and another one I believe). so I started wondering who to trust, knowing that I wasn't listening to any of his submakers. then someone says to create your own subliminals yourself, so that we will know the affirmations. At that time, I had a lot of limiting thoughts. I had heard that if we knew the statements, our brain would have a hard time accepting them (that's wrong, you make your rules).

I had started doing my subliminals, but it didn't work, because I still had a lot of limiting thoughts.

Honestly, I think I forgot the existence of the loa. one day i go to wattpad and i see a story about loa knowing that i learned about subliminal from someone from wattpad. I decide to read and the person tells their story and tells us to do some research. I do research and I come across amino, reddit and tumblr. I went to tumblr more often to find out more. there are several people who said several completely different things.

the shifting becomes known and I begin to be interested in it. sometimes I succeeded sometimes not.

with shifting, I experienced manifestation. (I still had limiting thoughts.) I often read "you gotta do this, you gotta do that". I'm starting to read more and more about it.

one day on youtube I come across a subliminal "reality god", I am not a believer but, I found it disrespectful, so I went to read the statements and I did not understand. (now I know it's the same as void state).

a few months ago and I am reading more and more conflicting things. so, I'm leaving this community and focusing on shifting. I hear about permanent shifting. I had a lot of doubts about this. I had read that you had to die to go there. I even found subliminals about death and people saying it was to reappear. afterwards, some people said that people could just manifest. I do some further research on the manifestation, but again I come across conflicting things.

void state is becoming popular and many people say that it takes a lot of things to get there. afterwards, people were doing methods and saying that self-concept was important. but, my life was horrible, my former best friends bullied me and my brother tried to kill himself. now i'm better

now my concept of me is perfect, i can say that i am perfection.

I have already entered the void but I only realize it when I wake up.

what I've been able to manifest through affirmations or just thinking about it

stop hurting

an exact situation two seconds after saying it

predict what someone will say

have a certain character

an ipad

teleport lost item

know what a person is thinking

shift

a premonitory dream

time travel

swap two courses

and maybe something else but I don't remember

I advise the beginner to make simple manifestation, to prove to you that you are capable of it. but you are able to manifest that your whole life changes if you wish. don't give up, i know sometimes life is horrible, but always pull yourself together. prove to everyone who underestimated you that you are better

I believe in you I love you you make your rule don't worry about tomorrow

love, sarida-candy

[forestshadow-wolf]

I.S.B.T.P.K.F.T.S moments (chapter 3)

fic link written by @tavtarnish. this is gonna be a long one so buckle up beeches (affectionately) or don't, I can't tell you what to do.

Ok I missed one (1) very important thing from last chapter. Ghost touching him/his hair

~ like COME ON, soap, my boy, suds, shampoo... you are so oblivious to ghost's pining. WHO else does that man touch?! Hmm? I'll wait... no I won't, because it's NOBODY! And here he is with his grubby (affectionate) little fingers in YOUR hair. And you're so BLIND to it. Like !!!!! Please !!!!

Anyway thank you for coming to my tedtalk. I'm so normal about them as you can see.. no I'm not. I'm so down bad for them being down bad for eachother. It's not even funny

chapter 2 chapter 3

"Soap never claimed he was a saint"

~ there's so much in the first paragraph but this stood out way too much for me to not mention it first. like of course he isn't a saint, nobody is... but the way it's said. it's a completely factual statement, nothing emotional about it. it's then followed by "nor did he pretend to be one." which is simply another factual statement. just words, but then again it's not exactly rare that facts can hurt more than some lies. /but/ on the flip side if you took those words and gave them to someone, "soap, you were never a saint." well those words are emotional. they're meant to hurt, meant to strike a nerve. and then you take that second half and make it a response, "and I never claimed to be one." then that turns into a deflection. like jerking your arm when you hit your funny-bone. a sort of desperate attempt to fix...something. maybe that's why it stands out to me. because it hurts but... i don't think he meant for it to hurt him. maybe it was just a fact but then the hurt kinda came as an afterthought like, 'oh that made me feel kind of not good slightly and idk why'

~ yes I'm giving this point two parts. because i have two thoughts on it that kind of connect but only vaugely. this is also the RSD, and again logically of course he isn't. I think it also does or could lead in 2 different directions. 1) of course he isn't, so why even try to be. right? or 2) well yeah maybe he isn't, but maybe he could have tried harder to be like one or a little less unsaintly. i need to emphasize that these two points can coexist at the same time (tbh im like 70% sure this would be a form of executive dysfunction. where you know that you can/should do something, but you can't make yourself) im also swinging back to those self-esteem issues, because those go hand in hand. like even just the comparison in it of itself. a saint, a holy figure, compared to a 'selfish' military man. there is no comparison if you are weighing guilt. it's a stone vs a feather, the feather is by nature lighter than the stone. and it'd take a lot more feathers to make one kg (I kinda wish america would just switch to metric) than it would stones. anyway im 100% sure I read too far into this

Soaps want (need) to be near ghost almost constantly

~ i honestly don't know why this happens but anytime I become really attached to someone I just want to touch them. not in a weird way, just gotta make that clear. but more like slinging an arm across their shoulders, or using them as a foot/head rest, or playing footsies. im very aware that this often can read as flirtations but thoes really aren't my intentions. I feel like this is the same way for soap. I know that their relationship is romantic but I feel like this definitely is not soap flirting or anthing like that. I think this is just soaps brain being like 'yes this is a good person, must touch, be close'.

soap's subsequent need to be far away from ghost right now

~ it's so damaging to himself that it reached through he screen and punched me in the face. placing price and/or gaz between him and ghost? ugh that hurts. and then on top of that he feels like it's selfish? like baby no. please be nice to yourself, ghost cares about you. he cares about /you/ not Sergent Mactavish.

him just wanting that feeling to stop

~ that tightness in his chest that he feels, almost like shame or disgust at himself. the way that it squeezes tighter whenever he sees ghost. and the way that he gaslights himself into thinking that pulling away will make that feeling go away, even tho he knows it won't.

~ adding this as a separate thing under the same point bc idk how to label it. metaphors and emotions don't mix with logic and physics. because they're not tangable. they're harder to grasp, harder to understand. they're slippery, and hard to explain. and somehow you just know that you can't fix them the same way you fix a broken vase. how usually the most logical way to fix and heal them is not glue, or gold, or tape, or anything else like that. you can't just stick them together and hope that it fixes itself. you can't even simply scrap them and get another. sometimes the best way to fix them is to not do anything at all. and sometimes it's to run away. and sometimes you can't fix them. and maybe this was poorly explained but the point is: logic and emotions are opposites, you cannot fix one the same way you do another. maybe that's why Soap is running away 'pulling the knot tighter' hoping that it'll unravel itself.

HE SAID IT!!!!! HE SAID THE THING!! HFJDHFJDKSJ

~ "god forbid he disappointed his superior" he said thought that. he's acknowledging the RSD without even realizing it. and he doen't even knwo why. he wonders what changed, where his opposition for authority went. where that idgaf attitude went. it didn't go anywhere. it's that this time it's Ghost. not any other lieutenant, it's /GHOST/. and it matters because ghost is important. ghost matters to him. he cares about ghost. about what ghost thinks.

can we just talk about this man punching an MP officer for a second?

~ like the SoapGhost shipper in me wants to think that it was because the officer was talking smack about Ghost (logically that I know that it isn't true in canon or this fic, but still, I can dream right?). a part of me thinks it'd be funny if the officer was insulting his (fabulous) hair, even though I don't really think it fits his character. a very hopeful part of my brain says he did it because the officer was saying something sexist or racist or homophobic or something of that nature. because I fully believe that he would have a reaction like that to that kind of situation.

~ also just casually locking said MP officer in his own car?? first of all, I guess what else would you do in that situation. second of all, i just know he had such an adrenaline rush from that, i'd pay to see a video of that. him maybe with a bunch of buddies, all running from the scene of the crime, the camera angle is shaky and bouncing up and down cus the camera-man/woman/person is running away too.

the way he's acutely aware of the fact that he's treating Ghost differently

~ back to the sads now. his relationship with ghost is unique to anything else he has with anyone else. he's so finely attuned to ghost himself, it's crazy, INSANE even. I just know that he /loves/ his dynamic with the man. and yet it makes it /that/ much harder for him to act 'normal' around him.

~ also the way he is vehemently denying his feelings for Ghost. and when i say denying I don't mean the kinda "no I'm not interested in my superior, bla bla bla". I mean the kind where he knows and accepts his feelings, but at the same time won't allow himself to feel those feelings.

soap doing the bare minimum of not overworking himself, and ghost watching him

~ that burning urge need to do something, anything that keeps his mind occupied. the way he has to find a proper balance between pushing himself, and not getting sat on his ass in medical. i can feel in my bones that he feels like what he is allowed to is not enough, that's why he goes back to that nervous tic of scratching at his fingers. you could argue he could do something like paperwork or whatever (what do military people do? idk) but it's just... different. it /has/ to be physical work.

~ the way ghost is so worried about him, is watching him. but the way it feels like he's being scrutinized. like he thinks ghost thinks he's incapable of his job. the way he just wants ghost to stop looking at him. the way it sparks an irrational rage in soap, even though he know he shouldn't have any reason for the irritation. (hint hint im like 99.9% sure that this means he's irritated with himself... if my own experiance is anything like this)

it was. it was at himself...

~ the feelings of inadequacy. that's all I have to say. and the anger at himself. all those things he did wrong...

the way he has to rationalize with himself

~ he definitely feels like a PoS. he is not, let's just make that clear (yes I refer to myself in the plural... im actually just several rats). logically he knows that he is a fantastic soldier, but everybody has those days where you just don't feel like it. where you have to force yourself out of that mentality with cold hard facts, to ease your mind.

AGAIN WITH THE REFUSAL TO BANTER

~ yes im making a big deal of this. because its basically the foundation of their relationship. so to see that not happening, is like watching the house from disney's encanto start to show cracks and not be fixed. JEBUS CRIMMNEY SHAMPOO!! YOUR BOYFEE IS NOT MAD AT YOU!!!

the way ghost interacts with soap, and also the hurt

~ the way ghost pulls his hands apart, to stop him from scratching his hands raw. the way he's so gentle with soap makes me just wanna gahjhafgrryhujnfhg. and the uncomfortable silence bc soap doesn't know how to act around ghost anymore. and then the way ghost checks up on him? because he cares about him. but- but- but the way soap hears ghost use his rank instead of his name. it's so normal and yet it still hurt for some reason. and i think it's because he was more or less prepared for himself to change or act different. but he wasn't prepared for ghost to change how he acts around soap (even though he wasn't /really/ acting differently, it just felt like it). and i think maybe soap wasn't fully prepared for the consequences of how changing himself would also make ghost react differently. idk if i worded that in a confusing way, but i don't know how else to say it.

~ the way he knows in a logical sense that ghost wasn't treating him any differently. he's able to push the hurt down, to compartmentalize it.

the way his responses are short and clipped

~ he's trying to get away from the conversation, away from ghost, as fast as he can. the way he clams up, giving only 1-2 word answers.

the way ghost makes an effort to keep conversation with him

~ soap obviously thrives on social interaction, especially with ghost. and now he's all of the sudden just refusing to speak to him? suspicious...

the way he also hates how ghost calls him johnny

~ like he can't decide weather he wants ghost to treat him the same or not. because it just makes it so much harder for him to control himself. because now ghost obviously isn't mad at him, and that makes it /so/ hard for him to be different. if ghost was mad at him, then that gives him a very obvious motivation to change.

using his injury as an excuse for acting different

~ he knows that they are both very aware of the fact that it was a shit excuse. he feels guilty lying to ghost and it just- ugh- gfujadhskuhagfh

the way he doesn't really remember what happened but ghost clearly does

~ ghost was/is so worried about him. but because he's so emotionally repressed (relatable) it comes off as anger or some other negative emotion (attitude?). it especially does with soap's current mindset, which only makes it worse.

soap getting lost in ghost's eyes

~ because even if he's supposed to be sergent mactavish, that doesn't mean he isn't still johnny or john 'soap' mactavish. which means he's still got thoes feelings for ghost, and he can indulge himself for a moment.

the last paragraph (idk how to describe it accurately)

~ the way the entire situation has him confused, at ghost's actions towards him, how he's supposed to be around price and gaz vs ghost. and the frustration at himself to just act how he wants to, and to feel how he's supposed to. and ghost's refusal to tell him anything about what happened, and why ghost won't just act like a lieutenant towards him. and how he can't manage to act right no matter who he's with.

sorry if this last bit feels rushed, this has been sitting in my drafts unfinished for... *checks notes* THREE WEEKS?!? oops... well it's here now :]

[misc-obeyme]

If you have had a writers block? How would you overcome it?

Hey there, anon! I do get writer's block and I'm sorry if you are also suffering from it currently. It's the worst!

Generally, I find there are certain reasons I might be struggling. It could be a writing-related problem like I don't know what happens next or I'm having issues with the plot. It's counterintuitive, but when this happens I know I need to take a break. I need to do something else. Because I'm usually overthinking about the problem to the point where my brain can't even understand it fully anymore. Then when I come back to it with fresh eyes, the answer is so obvious that I'm annoyed about it lol.

If it's a mindset-problem, though, that's usually like... when I feel like everything I write is trash or that I don't know what I'm doing or that nobody likes my writing so why do I even try... that kind of thing. When this happens, I try to remind myself why I'm writing to begin with. I personally write because it's fun. If I just make sure that writing is fun, then the rest of those insecurities don't matter. It doesn't matter if people don't like what I wrote if I had fun writing it.

There are a few things I will do no matter what the issue is. If I'm staring at a blinking cursor and an empty document, I will ask myself what would be the most fun thing to write next? Whatever that is, even if it doesn't seem like it makes sense, I write it. I just go for it. It doesn't matter if it makes sense or is any good, I just gotta get those words flowing.

Sometimes I can trick my brain into doing this by just writing what I'm thinking. Like I'll start with "I have writer's block and it's making me crazy and I don't know what to write next..." and sometimes just the act of typing will make my brain think oh it's time to write! And then it gets with the program.

It's also important to make sure you're taking care of your basic needs. You might be hungry or sleepy or something and that can have an impact on your ability to write.

If you're writing fanfiction, re-reading or re-watching the source material can really help, too.

I like to put on specific writing playlists, have a snack, get some coffee or tea, work on a different story for a bit, take a short break by scrolling on Tumblr.

For me personally, writer's block mostly happens because I'm overthinking. Either about the mechanics of the story I'm writing or about my personal ability as a writer. I often get into spirals of self-doubt. And the only way for me to pull myself out of that is to remind myself to have fun. Because that's why I started writing to begin with.

I apologize for the length of this answer and honestly I could probably talk about it even more lol. But I hope some of this helps! If you're experiencing writer's block, just know that it's temporary, your writing is always worth it, and I know you'll break through it. I'm rooting for you!

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3139

an actual picture of me that i did today at work:

my last brain cell is trying his best to keep the office together while all of his coworkers are on vacation in aruba. they have unlimited vacation time, but at least one person has to be in the office at any given time. this poor little guy hasn't gotten a day off in at least a month.

time to give it a rest, yknow?

anyway, today was another long day. i didn't have to stay until 7, thankfully, but it was appointment after appointment after appointment, and i still didn't get myself lunch because i couldn't figure out what i wanted. but thankfully dad thought ahead and we went for indian food directly after work, so i was happy to eat my food.

while at dinner with my dad, i was telling him about my day and how i told some jokes and how i talked to a student about my strengths and stuff and how those aren't exactly things you can put in a résumé. and i pulled up my phone and i pulled up a website to tell my dad about the position that i would probably ultimately have, as an interagency liaison or something, and i did some searches to find a position like that, but something else came up.

the thing that came up was the perfect job description.

i was so excited. i even managed to do what i said i was gonna in my excitement, and i pulled up the posting, went through the duties and highlighted important basics of the tasks, edited my résumé to reflect it, wrote a cover letter, and sent them all off to my brother to look at so i can submit it tomorrow. it's the perfect position. it's not too far and i'm happy to drive the hour to get there, and the pay scale is good and im honestly really excited about it.

yeah.

i'm in bed now though. i'm tired. i didn't get to talk to joel today, but i know he's busy until april at this point, so i don't wanna bug him too much, although once i'm able to drive i'm gonna exist in his space again because i miss him and existing in each other's space is something we do well. so that's good.

and i think i made another friend. she's the student i worked with yesterday evening and i worked with her again and she's really cool. we get along really well and i'm really happy about it. she's about my age and im happy to have people around me who are also in their 30s and it's kinda cool to be an adult.

i also bought shoes today that would be work appropriate. gotta get those insoles first.

[ddejavvu]

(the anon is me) Honestly, when I saw the discussion, I HAD TO JOIN sjsjsj so tyty

I get that- honestly, the only reason I got into kpop was because my cousin forced me at first because I was obsessed with Motionless In White and she wouldn't let me come over until I learned everything about BTS so I had to put that obsession on pause for BTS . So, I did and learned I actually did like their music so far! I mean, I'd prefer to have found them on my own but I mean, at least I get to say I was there from the "beginning" sjsjsj (not saying that being there since the beginning is more important or anything, it's just nice to find people surprised when I tell them.). but honestly, happy for you that you found your ults <33 and SAME, love them <33 I just got into Monsta X so please, anything you'd like to share, I'd love to hear???

LITERALLY WHAT I'M SAYING. Some people in fandoms become so toxic, even to others in the fandoms. How about the fans that believe you aren't fans unless you can remember every members birth-date, blood type, place of origin, etc. LIKE I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY OWNNNN. I get wanting to know about them because they're your idol or whatever your reason may be but you don't gotta hassle others about it, others aren't obligated to know such information and plus, some are multi stans, such as myself, and literally can't harbor ALL that knowledge. We are NOT spencer reid sjsjsj- NGL twitter stans scare me sometimes but some are absolutely lovely. But I still keep my distance like you do, better safe than sorry. But the tiktok edits are always something else LMAO the amount I've seen posting the funniest shit ever of the idols really make my day. (I will now send you some when I see them, if you're cool with that-) and I block people who do fanwar stuff. I just think everyone has their own taste and if you don't like anothers, you don't have to say anything, just leave it alone and block the person if it bothers you so much.

SOWJOIJSOIJ stahop you're literally so sweet, thank you <333 I barely meet any metalhead kpop stans T-T to be honest, when i see other metalhead pages, most of the time in their DNI is just Kpop stans and I'm literally making the ಠ_ಠ face cause dude, why so mad?

YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THAT sjsjsjs Honestly, I saw Hobi and was like, yes. HIM. and to see how far they've come WARMS my heart. But the enlistment always got me on my toes.

LMFAOO my bsf showed me chewing gum by nct dream and shine by pentagon and i was hooked.. but yes i definitely know what you mean!! ugh yes mx is so so so good i really recommend their series that they did called 'puppy days' (?) it's just them hanging out with puppies for the day and they literally have to nap halfway through the day bc they're so tired LMFAOO - it's so cute!! that's my favorite piece of mx media hehe

don't get me started on fans that gatekeep FROM OTHER FANS.. i'm really really bad at remembering dates so like kim mingyu my love!! i'm sorry but i don't have enough space in my brain to remember your birthday and my mom's birthday, and only my mom will be upset if i don't </3 you literally won't know </3 i always see their posts about it and silently wish them a happy birthday but like i do not always remember and that is okay!! ugh or people that scold you for not streaming mvs.. babe i have a big girl job and i go to big girl school i do not have time to stream an mv!! i am going to listen to the song if i like the song.

i think a big component of internet drama like that is age/maturity.. i'm not saying that every young person is immature and every older person is mature but like,, even just looking at my 15 year old self is so different in terms of maturity and i would have totally engaged in stupid pointless fanwars just to be right on the internet.. now i don't even fight with people on the internet for good reason lmfao i just block and scroll and it's SO BENEFICIAL to my life

not the dni... people get so creative with those omg i feel like mine is just generic lmfao - it astounds me to see some of them!! i don't necessarily think it's a bad thing, they're just curating their online experience like they're supposed to, but it is interesting to see everyone's preferences laid out in the open like that bc i'm not used to it

YES i love bias-at-first-sight <3 aw yeah i know that's coming up soon!! i wish you the best <3

[badnikbreaker]

What are your ships for your muses? Obviously you like sonamy (good taste op) but anything else?

thank u for the vote of confidence sfjkhgdlfsd. it's sort of a funny question, because i'm famously easy to ship with — acquaintances really are encouraged to forceship with me whenever they want, you will have a 99.9% success rate as long as we're not being weird abt ages. i love romance! let's make it work!! so even if i don't actively ship something, there's a pretty good chance i can and will 100% get behind it once / if i start writing it. also, i sometimes feel like making a ship preference clear signals to others that you're likely to forceship, and i never want anybody to think "ah shit i know rain ships our muses they'll probably be weird." i won't!

still, here goes —

going down the muse list — for amy, i obviously love sonamy. they're cute, i think their relationship is really sweet and unique and lovely. i also really love blazamy and jewelamy! i don't know that i actively ship knuxamy or silvamy in the sense that i'm never going out of my way to find them, but i've written both in the past and really enjoyed it! especially with all three of em getting close over the course of the war. amy just deserves all the love!!

ava really only has one meaningful ship, which is sonava, tho i'm definitely open to others! i think they're fun / have the possibility of being really fun.

yes i like sonelise leave me ALONE sonic is her manic pixie dream hedgehog!!! ROUGE CAN HAVE A HUMAN GIRLFRIEND AND THATS FINE BUT WHEN SONIC ��—

whispangle for both tangle and whisper — i mean, they're basically canon. i also really like whispilver and blazangle, though!

shipping surge is a nightmare conceptually but i gotta admit i am a fan of surgeamy, tho i think surge would have a LOT of complexes abt if ames just likes her because she's "another sonic." honestly, surge just needs someone who connects with her and treats her like a person. i'm also kind of into surgesonic conceptually; very unhealthy, but lots of space for fun there? i don't have actual Thoughts abt them aside from like. lmao sonadow but with a heaping helping of 'i have been programmed to give a shit about absolutely nothing except you and hurting you.'

kit developing a tiny 'u are literally the first person in my whole life to be nice to me' crush on tails? who knows, perhaps more likely than u think. i think i do prefer that bond platonically but who knows that could change, either way i do care a lot abt them as besties.

molly x living a long and happy life.

sonia and....fucking knuckles I GUESS??? i think the way sonia would interact with a knuckles who is not a short king dork would be funny. oh and mindy. bartleby im sorry but ur not on the list sonia just gaslit herself into liking you.

rouge! shadouge is important 2 me whether it's platonically or romantically but i do like them romantically. sorry that sonic battle lays it on SO thick and fundamentally rewrote baby me's brain chemistry. i also rly rly like her and wave. thief gfs. AND ROUGE AND TOPAZ OBVIOUSLY. rouge is rly hard to ship tho and def the muse that takes the most plotting

sucre was initially made to ship with sonic when i created her at age 10 or whatever so sonsucre remains. amy, too. god amy would be so good for him.

[1d1195]

Omg finally had time to read the newest toothpaste update and bestie…omg?! That was so GOOD!!! I know you typically don’t write smut(which is FINE!!!) this build up was just so😵‍💫 THE THUMB SUCKING I WOULD SIMPLY DIE!! She’s so brave bc omg could cry just thinking about it lol and she’s so bold omg I love that for her😭 and he’s so in love like this man is so down bad, I love it!! That “cavity filling” line… SAM WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO TYPE THAT HAHAH I LOVE IT !!!! It was so nice to read about these two again, loved it as always!!

I think it was also for the best lol I would have been WAY more unhinged than I already was lol and it seems so much like you to be worried about them and honestly I get it!

Bestie anything you come up with I know it will just be great!! And the way Market Basket has now been added to my list of stores I will simply not enter bc that sounds so bad😭 I love a good deal but my mental state probs candle handle that HAHA

Oh the writting aspect seems like it would have been horrible like the process of it lol I feel like you would have absolutely slayed cognitive psychology classes!! There’s so much stuff about the brain and like behavioral stuff too!

IM FINALLY FREE!!! Took both my final exams on the same day so my brain is a little fried but still very happy to be over with everything:)! YOURE incredibly sweet Sam😭❤️ I miss you too obviously when I’ve been away! I always love chatting with you no matter what! But same goes for you too, your overall stability and health is a priority! No matter how long it will always be so important to put yourself first!

I’m also so surprised how inspired you have been for Honey bc the amount of writting you’ve done in such a short time is so crazy in the best way!! I get being a bit critical on what you work on BUT I’m sure the last few parts are just as amazing!

THAT MEN QUOTE OMG THATS SO REAL!!!! HAHHA LOVE IT! I like the idea of annotating bc I think it’s cute too! I typically end up writing it out or taking a pic of a quote I like but that’s pretty much it! I also donate my books once I feel like I’ve outgrown them a bit so I try not to do too much damage lol but omg that sounds so fun with your friend!!

Hope you had a good week my love! And wishing such a peaceful and relaxing weekend! Love you lots!!!-💜

Yay! I think the whole reason I had this idea is because I finally have a dentist that doesn't make me want to cry anymore. I was so traumatized growing up HATING the dentist. Now I find it lowkey relaxing just laying there lol I am trying to think of more sexy punny innuendos for the dentist (there's something about being drilled on the tip of my tongue) but yes, he's mostly just obsessed with her 😍 as he should be. she's so cute 🤭

FREEDOM! YAY! I'm glad you're done! So exciting!!! 💕

I think I wrote like 15k words in the first day of starting it. Sometimes when I have (what I think is) a good idea, I try and write as MUCH as I can as quickly as possible so I don't forget anything I want to include. So I was bouncing back and forth between the beginning/middle/end putting pieces down that I don't even know if I'll use but I gotta include in case I need it. I'm currently REALLY attached to Honey still though (probs because I wrote it so quickly) so I'm lowkey struggling to write something else because I don't want to let them go 😭 It's like when I read a book that just hits and I'm like "I cannot leave them. They're my friends." It feels rude to move on.

I've been trying to donate more of my books! I'm out of room on my shelves! I usually leave them in the staff lounge. But I can't exactly bring my smut books into a school so I have to be strategic about which ones I bring in 😂 If I think I'm going to reread the book, or even just look at it, I always keep it. So there are MANY like that so I am struggling to clear space on my shelf. Plus I just keep buying more anyway 😂

Solid week overall and I'm hoping to be productive this weekend, but we will see. I want to put up fall decorations even though it's still like 80 degrees out. I know you don't like the cold much but I'm DYING for 50-60 fall breezes 😭

Love you!

xoxo

Hope you had a good week my love! And wishing such a peaceful and relaxing weekend! Love you lots!!!-💜

[millenniumringg]

Arggg I’m stressing! My latest chapter for my fic is technically finished but it’s got so many flaws; the over-wordyness, the lack of good flow, and also it ends abruptly with no good resolution. I can’t stand it. I want to fix it but I don’t know where to start, and although I would like to work on later chapters I can’t do them until this one is fixed. Help meeeee I need advice and also my creativity is at a slump, I’m so stuck it’s making me stressed

oh noooooooo I am so sorry to hear you are in a slump :(

The good news is: YOU'RE NOT ALONE!!!

I think this is something all of us writers experience a lot. I totally understand the desire to hurry and get the chapter finished, but it sounds like you might need to take a step back and look at it with the freshest of eyes!

I feel a little silly giving advice, as I certainly don't have all the answers in the world, but I've certainly been in this position before and can share some of what I do to try and get past it:

To begin, are you suuuuuure you need to finish the chapter to move on to other ones? Sometimes, jumping around chapters and plot events can help you to come up with more interesting resolutions/situations! Don't go into writing the chapters with the set intention of having them be THE final draft. Moving on from the place your stuck on is most important! So, I say try starting a later chapter anyway! See what you can do. Sometimes it helps you fill in the gaps of where you might be stuck :]

Second, I recommend doing some light reading of books/articles/blogs about writing! Search the web for writing exercises or read about how other authors follow through with the writing process (like now! See? You're already on the right track, anon!). There's plenty of material out there to get you writing, either for the chapter you're stuck on or for something else entirely!

Which brings me to my final suggestion: Move on to something else for a little while! Sometimes you have to set your work in progress aside and do something else that's got you motivated. I know you want to finish your current project (believe me, I toooootally understand), but your brain can only think about one thing for so long! You gotta exercise the creativity in other projects to oil up those brain gears! Then, after you've taken a break, try going back and reading through the chapter again and see what happens.

For me, taking a break and moving on to something else works the best. Honestly, and you're gonna hate me for this, I would probably not look at the chapter for at least a week..... You really need to reset your brain in order to make appropriate edits! Like, for real, sometimes I get so frustrated and I won't look at a wip for like. a month (mainly because work and class get in the way anyways lmao) but then when I FINALLY am like ok. I'm just gonna remind myself what I have (because you will FORGET hopefully) and then boom. You'll have fresh eyes, fresh thoughts, and will be more likely to be able to fix what you don't think is working :]

ah...... not sure if this was the advice you were searching for.... but truly the most important thing for creativity is to both exercise it and give it breaks! I know... confusing... but its true I swear you just gotta get reach creative homeostasis....

I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!!!

[voidnumber9]

Getting bodied again by the difference between “thinking about the thing” and “the thing being real”

I’m physically sick about it.

But it’s gotta be temporary, right? These little pains come and go, but ending the relationship would be more pain and longer, right?

No. I can’t end it over this. Over one bad day of negative feedback. My Partner means too much to me.

What they give to others doesn’t mean less for me (excepting time, and that’s been assured)

“You are important to me”

And no, brain shifting the “blame” to someone else isn’t healthy either. Gotta figure out the root of the feelings and stop feeling band o out feeling bad.

What I might actually be upset about: (no particular order)

The apparent or perceived compromise of ethics of starting a relationship (of whatever kind) after this persons partner’s unethical(or maybe just shitty) actions against a friend/meta. I mean, these two left the community after they didn’t like what feedback they were getting, why is it ok to immediately start something?

Normal monogamy/exvangelical brain shit telling me something here is “wrong” (total bullshit that I just need to deprogram)

Some kind of rsd thing at not being able to immediately match with this new partner’s partner. Which honestly was just an emotional grasping action to begin with, I don’t really care maybe I just wanted to be “even” somehow.

Jealousy at the above missed match and that I can’t just effortlessly fall into new entanglements whether I want them or not.

[cinnamonest]

Kaeya is really touchy with his darling, right? So then,, what are the other Yan’s love languages?

NICE I love the love languages stuff! Sorry this was from April but I'm finally getting to it! Usually the two are similar, but sometimes people have different ways of expressing love versus how they want to receive it, so I'll elaborate on that as well. Enjoy my rareish semi-fluffy stuff, boys and which of the 5 love languages they are :3 Kazuha - quality time

Honestly, he's a simple boy. All he really needs to be happy and feel mutual love is sit with you close to him, arms wrapped around you, preferably with you returning the gesture. He has a lot of feelings and fears for the future, lots of emotions all bottled up, so someone to listen to him means a lot. Taking the time to listen to all he has to say makes him sheepish and embarrassed even, but as long as you assure him it's ok, he'll keep coming back for more of your listening ears.

Also, he likes to go on walks. These can be talking or not, sometimes he just likes walking in silence. Either way, accompanying him on said walks is a way to endear yourself to him and show him you love him. Sometimes it's just silently walking down beaches or pathways or in circles around the ship deck, sometimes it's him venting, sometimes it's him gushing about this or that... either way, basically providing him with an outlet for his emotions and spending time with him is what matters.

Zhongli -  gifts, quality time

Sugar daddy

But in all seriousness he's big on spoiling a darling. I mean let's be real it's probably someone else's money OR this is in an era where he could just make some, so he will literally get you anything you could ask for, hell, anything he sees you looking at, tons of things you have no use for but he just likes the way your eyes light up all the same. It makes you happy, and that's what love is about, right? Wanting to make people you love happy.

However, for himself, it's a quality time thing, similar to Kazuha's where it's a lot of listening. He has a lot to say sometimes and can get to rambling about details of this or that thing he somehow manages to be an expert on, and while he usually catches himself early on, sometimes he can REALLY go on a while. He knows you don't have any clue what he's talking about, and probably don't really care, but if you sudden bring up a detail that shows you were listening -- it makes him feel oddly warm inside, like you actually think what he talks about is important and care about it. It makes him chuckle a bit, pat your head. He tells you if you're bored you don't have to listen.... so if you insist on doing so anyway, well, that just makes him feel even better inside, oddly validated in a way.

Kaeya  -  words of affirmation, touch

Is sex a love language?

But in all seriousness, yes as per the opening of the ask, he's very touchy. By 'touch' in this case, that... does translate to sex about 90% of the time. Can you blame him?? It's because he loves you! If he didn't love you he wouldn't wanna get his dick in you so bad! It's love that makes him so handsy and touchy, always rubbing you and running the edges of his fingers under your shirts and skirts and shorts even in public, hands wrapping around your waist and hips, sneaking fondles here and there... and it's out of love that you get railed all the time. His peak happiness is just being balls deep inside you, bodies pressed up against each other, moving slow and gentle and gradually building up... and he wants you to feel like that's love, too. To be honest he gets genuinely sad if you don't see it that way, or if you don't understand it as an expression of love. It seems so natural and innate that being pressed up close together should invoke feelings of love, right?

As for how he understands love as a recipient, well, pretty much the same thing, any sign of eagerness or willingness or especially initiative to fuck sets his brain off. But also, he's weak to any attempts to boost his ego. Say anything positive about him and he'll get excited and let it go to his head, particularly if your words of choice make him feel strong or powerful or capable.

Also speaking of touch, surprisingly big on handholding, especially in public. Sure part of it is a "signaling to others to back off" sort of thing, but he just likes the warmth of your hand as well.

Diluc - touch

It might be a bit surprising, given the stoic nature but... just give this man a hug. Please.

Being inside you is very very nice of course, but he's also notably a cuddly person when you get past the rough exterior. He likes to just sit you in his lap and hold you, spoon you in bed at night, etc.

And as for giving, he doesn't really have knowledge of how to go about other things. He's not good with words at all, he doesn't really know what gifts to get, and despite his affection he's not really submissive enough of a person to go about acts of service, and he's very busy, so while he might get quality time, it's not too often. In the end he doesn't really know how to do anything else, so if he really wants to express affection, the only way he can really think of is just wrapping his arms around you and squeezing. Sometimes a little too hard, like sir I'm asphyxiating please

Also it takes him a while to work up to it. At first he's just too nervous and can barely touch you without retracting his hand back out of nervousness, but he gets used to it.

Razor - quality time, touch

The others are kind of foreign concepts, really. But touch and time is how his kind bond! It's what he's used to. Nuzzling his face into your shoulders and neck and wrapping arms around you and holding you tight. He will often just cling to you physically in some way, holding your wrist in his hand or reaching out to embrace you at random. Of course, sex is a part of it, gotta have that too, it means love to him because he gets the urge whenever he thinks about loving you! And not gonna lie, he tries to remember you don't really like it but, he'll lick you every now and then too. It just comes naturally because he gets excited 'cause he loves you so much!! Lick lick.

Quality time comes in many forms. Every second is quality time in its own way, but especially naps in the sun and walks through the woods. Fun fact: wolf mates go on little "walks" together occasionally, breaking off from the rest of the pack to get alone time. It's fun! You can run through the woods with him! The naps combine the two expressions of touch and time, getting to spend lots of quiet, valuable time, all while snuggled up close. It's nice.

He doesn't really understand if you try to communicate love otherwise, but he'll kind of grasp that it's nice. But really, in the end he wants touch and time too. It's the only form he really understands. The rest just leave him a bit "??" But a nuzzle and a nap in the sun are things he understands perfectly.

Xingqiu - gifts, words of affirmation

The first is more how he shows, the second how he receives. It's a rather selfish form of love, really, because it benefits him as well and it's not exactly difficult. He doesn't have to put a lot of work into gifting, since he can pretty much get anything he asks for out of his father, and even if he says no to something, well, father won't notice a few hundred thousand mora gone from the stash of money kept in his bedroom, right? And he loves giving you gifts because of your reaction! You smile and say thank you and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside... and he likes to think that maybe you feel indebted to him, maybe you're awed and impressed by how he manages to find you such expensive and rare things, maybe it makes you look up to him and see him as superior a bit. Hopefully.

However, because he's got so much wealth already, so gifts don't really do much for him. He responds well to praise, though, especially if you compliment him on the things he cares about, like his sword skills, his writing, his vigilantism. Make him feel like the protagonist he is inside his head, and he'll be beaming with pride and happiness, it makes him feel important, which translates to feeling loved.

Chongyun - quality time, acts of service

In particular, he likes to have you around when he's training. You don't have to train yourself, just be by his side. It makes him more motivated, so he's noticed. Not to mention, he likes showing off if possible to impress you.

Also, he likes having someone to vent to. He's a sweet boy, but he has his stressors and frustrations. He's used to strict self-discipline and normally refrains from talking about his feelings too much, but if you make him feel like your presence is a safe place for him to come to, he will end up almost becoming dependent on getting to emotionally unload on you every day, recalling all the details of every bad thing that happened and waiting for your soft comfort.

Here, "acts of service" is more like... consideration. Little moments where he's reminded you remember his needs and care about them. You make food and note that you made it especially free of anything hot, just for him! Or you make his little popsicles when he forgets, you help him deal with the damage and destruction of his most recent episode. Little acts like that make him feel appreciated, loved and cared for.

Childe - acts of service

Similar to Kaeya and touch, acts of service is... yeah it's basically sex. It falls more into the category of acts of service because it's a little different in nature from Kaeya's -- he loves normal sex of course, and cuddles are nice too, but in his mind really loving him is about taking initiative and doing things to him... in other words, to translate that in simple terms... blow him. Please. It would make him the happiest man in the world. Or ride him. Just anything that feels like you taking some initiative and making him feel wanted. ...And making him feel worshipped is nice too, getting you down on your knees in front of him or any act of service and submission gives him a sort of high from the ego boost and masculine validation.

And he's similar with how he expresses it himself. Most likely candidate to eat you out against your will. One infuriating and potentially humiliating thing about him is he's one of the most insistent to ensure you cum every single time, if you don't cum from him fucking you he'll just force your legs open and eat you out or shove his fingers into you until you do. Because he loves you and orgasms equate to love in his mind.

Venti - acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts

It's more on the giving end for him -- specifically, he can be a very sappy individual when he's in love, to a point it's nauseating to the people around you, really. But he spends a lot of time writing you poems and songs. To him, song is one of the utmost powerful expressions of love. It sort of combines the service and words -- the writing itself is a labor of love, but the words are filled with praises. He genuinely spends a lot of time on it, though, and it's really important to him that you like the things he makes and plays for you, and will continuously modify his next pieces to what he perceives as your taste. He's a bit of a perfectionist on stuff like that.

Venti is actually rather shy when it comes to receiving love. He tends to be very no, you don't have to do that for me! And things like gifts can make him feel a bit guilty, so... you just have to give him stuff he likes so much he's too busy indulging to feel guilt. Namely alcohol. He gets a bit red in the face, but, deep down he likes words of affirmation and compliments too, even the lightest of sweet words he'll replay in his head over and over for days after you say them.

Bennett - acts of service

One of the quickest ways to endear yourself to him is the simple act of helping him. This can manifest in several ways, such as healing his wounds when he's all scraped up or just come back from an adventure, helping him patch up his clothes that get ripped so much, helping him find some thing he lost in the woods yet again, or following him on one of said adventures. People don't really have him in mind too often, he tends to get forgotten a lot and left to handle things all on his own, and as a result, someone who reaches out to help him has a significant impact on him, he finds himself unable to stop thinking about it and the warm feeling it gives him to know that someone cares.

As a result, he starts basically mimicking the same behaviors because it's all he really knows how to do. He wants to give you the same warm happiness that you give him, so he tries to help you out with the things you need, complete tasks he knows would be helpful to you. Unfortunately for him, this tends to backfire as something usually goes wrong and it turns into a mess that he fears will just make you hate him. Poor baby.

Albedo - quality time

He's one of those people that really loves to just spend time in the presence of the people he loves -- you don't have to be doing something together, or the same thing. Even if you're just reading a book or drawing or something on your own, he likes you to be nearby him. It's kinda cute how if you go wandering off or go into another room, he'll wait a minute, then silently kinda come peeking around the corner to check on you because?? Why did you leave? Did he do something to upset you? He's too proud to explicitly ask you to come back, but he might blatantly follow you to the room you're in, claiming it's just better lighting in here, or the other room was too cold, or some other excuse.

He still likes doing things with you, though, too. Another favorite is late night conversations, the kind you get into once you're already laying in bed in the dark, pressed against each other and mumbling little thoughts that occur to you before you drift off to sleep, questions about tomorrow, or a hey remind me to do this or that, that sort of thing. Little conversations you never really finish, your voices get softer and sleepier with each moment, you eventually close your eyes as you talk back and forth, until one of you eventually doesn't get a response, and then drifts off themselves.... and in the morning neither of you remember who was the last person to speak or what the conversation was even about in the end.

Xiao - touch

He just doesn't... get much else. Words are hard. He doesn't know whether this or that gift or gesture is considered appropriate to present to a human as  sign of love, and those kinds of things, words and gifts and stuff, embarrass him too much... and he doesn't every really know whether or not he's correct when interpreting your actions and words either. How does he know the gift isn't just because you wanted to be nice, or that the nice things you said were just meant mildly, and he's just indulging in wishful thinking when he thinks it means more? Ugh. It's too troublesome to have to deal with.

But touch... it's straightforward and easy and impossible to misunderstand. And it's also objectively the best, he thinks, even without the issues in understanding it's just what he feels the most natural urge towards. Why would anyone do any differently? Why do humans waste their time giving each other gifts and compliments and stuff when they could just do the thing that feels so much better than that other stuff? It confuses him. He doesn't want material goods, he just wants to cuddle you and put his dick in you. Yeah it... also translates to sex here, similar to Kaeya. Like, he likes it when you kiss his forehead and snuggle up close, but those things will inevitably result in wanting more. And he loves the rests you two take, half-asleep soundly wrapped up and bodies pressed close, spooning with his arms latched onto you. It's just that said rests/naps are almost always very much naked due to being after cumming in you a few times.

Scaramouche - acts of service, words of affirmation, touch

I mean, you're kinda forced into the acts of service thing, but the idea is that you start to perform said acts willingly, or without needing to be commanded. Eventually you get to where you do things on your own initiative, and he likes to think maybe you just want to (and not because you've been beaten into doing it so many times it's become instinctive, definitely not that). A lot of it is just tasks, but similar to Childe's acts of service, it's definitely a sex thing too, wants you to show initiative and do things on your own -- not that you won't likely get told not to do shit like that without permission, but he still does like it, internally.

Words of praise are similar. Say anything nice about him and he'll probably accuse you of lying or trying to manipulate him/get something, but deep down he kinda thrives on anything positive you have to say or think about him. Not that you'd ever know.

As for how he actually shows love, well... does... he...? Yes actually, primarily it's a touch thing. Not always pleasant touches, but touches. It's similar to how other yans equate different things with love, like Childe sees orgasms as a form of love, to him possession is the utmost expression of "love" in the sense that he perceives it. Possession, to own a thing completely and entirely, to have full power over something... that sort of connection is incredibly intimate, when you think about it. It's a connection on a deep level, it's loving. So anything that expresses possession -- pleasant or unpleasant for you -- is thus an expression of love.

[arcadejohn127-9]

Can we get the brothers and undatables being at one of Diavolos parties and a nobles starts telling MC that The brothers and undatables don’t really care about them. They start telling them that they are just Diavolos pawn and Lilliths replacement. BTW I love your writing it’s honestly some of my favorite pieces in the fandom.

Some of-of your f-favourite pieces in the fandom??!! Um Chile anyways- OMG!! Y'all are too sweet to me!!! Thank you so much!

I'm not going to lie, I got shocked when I saw another requested this as I just finished writing section for this ask but my brain is dumb and really focused on one sentence and read it utterly wrong

Part 2 - ending

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"ah, so you're the human I've been hearing so much about."

You turned around to see a Noble, you bowed at him with a smile.

"oh- hello, who are you? If the human you've been hearing about is (Y/N) then Yep! That's me!"

"splendid! I'm so glad I finally get to meet you, I've heard so much from Diavolo and news sources, you wouldn't mind humouring me for a dance and talk?"

"it'll be my honour." You took his arm, letting him guide you to the dance floor.

You could feel the brothers eyes on you, watching closely to how you rested your hands on the demons shoulder. All of them slowly stalking as you two danced.

"what is it like being a human in the Devildom?"

"scary...at first but now I feel like it's my home! I really can't imagine being anywhere else."

"free housings, connections to the most powerful beings in this realm and outside, pacts with the the 7 brothers and having them do anything you desire."

"I mean- I guess? It's nothing like that or that I'm using them, it's a long story - I love them all very much."

"you may not be using them but they're definitely using you, we're demons after all and there is nothing more precious to us than a soul likes yours."

You were suddenly pulled through the crowd, his dancing becoming quicker and sharp as if sensing the brothers watching him.

"don't you realize you're just the princes pawn? A small piece of a puzzle of his 'plans' - do you really think a demon of his importance would really care about bringing peace?! It's all but a ruse and you're just helping him fulfil it."

"that's not true! Diavolo is a kind and thoughtful man, he wants peace and I will be a stepping stone for that to happen - after all I am a link to all three realms."

"human with demon pacts and ancestral connections to both the brothers and angels - how is it being the ancestor to Lilith? I heard she was a real doll but such a shame she risked it all for some moral, have they ever compared you two?"

"how do you know about my ancestor? They've- never properly made a comparison and I'm sure they mean it in an affectionate way-!"

"don't you ever feel like a replacement? I heard since the discovery they've treated you even better, that can't be a coincidence."

Your blood went cold as your heart collapsed into your stomach. Your eyes glancing to the brothers In the distance. You knew he wasn't right but apart of you was scared. After all, he knew so much that you didn't think anyone outside of your social circle would know. How did he know all this?

"we went through something really traumatic together, it was bound to make us closer-"

"just admit it, you know you're being use but you just won't accept it because you're scared of facing and truth and being left - is there something unpleasant waiting for you in the human world? Is that why you're so willing to be preyed upon?"

"it's not like that..."

He suddenly dipped you, you clutched to his shoulder as tears glazed your eyes.

"isn't it? Can you confidently say it isn't?"

"yes.." your voice came out shaky and distant, you wanted to be confident but you couldn't.

"they don't care about you, all they want is to use you, make it easier on yourself and leave, run as fast as you can and never come back to the devildom."

Lucifer:

He was the first to reach you after your dance with the Noble

He twirled you so you would face him

"what did he say to you? You're crying."

"it's nothing..."

He opened his mouth to press on but he saw you grit your teeth

Glaring at the dance floor as you two stepped to the music

"If he threatened you then I'll handle him, it's no issue for me to do so."

You just shook your head

"stop being so overprotective, I know you don't actually like having to look after me, just stop forcing yourself."

"That's not true, I look after you because I care about you, it's become more than a duty."

You just clicked your tongue, pushing yourself away from him, disappearing into the crowd

Mammon:

Mammon held your hand, hugging you from behind as you two swayed

"You don't look too happy, are you overwhelmed?"

"I am now that you're here."

Which wasn't a lie, you felt so conflicted and betrayed, having him around just made you want to cry

He frowned, spinning you around

"oi, what's that all about? If I did something you gotta be honest with me,I swear I didn't steal nothing."

"I'd prefer it if you did, then being mad at you wouldn't feel so horrible."

He raised a brow

He was completely confused on why you were acting like this

"Was it that noble guy? Did he say something to you? I swear when I find him-"

You shook your head, moving away from him

"You're not going to do anything, you're a coward - just stop pestering me."

You felt awful but you didn't do anything to fix it, just running away from the shocked demon

Levithan:

"You here to take a break? Join you, I will."

He pointed to the empty spot smiling at himself for his Yoda voice

You wanted to feel bad but right now you were extremely upset

"Yeah, I do, I don't want to be around anyone right now."

"I get that but Lucifer said someone's has to be with you but I don't blame you for not wanting me to do it-"

You snarled

"can you not make this about you?! I just don't wanna deal with anymore demons!"

You shuffled closer into yourself, eyes subconsciously finding the noble you talked to

Levi followed your gaze, his Insecure angst turning into annoyance

"That noble did something....it's okay to speak up, we can go to prince-"

"go away! I don't want to keep hearing you pretend to care about me!"

He was stunned

You suddenly stood up and trudged away from Levi, seeking out the bathroom

Satan:

You ducked away from the crowd of demons

Sticking close to the wall as you clutched your arms

The nobles clawing at your mind as you stared to the side

"Did you enjoy the dancing? You look tired, I know a good hiding spot."

"Where is it?"

"I'll take you there-"

He went to grab your shoulder but you just shrugged him away

Not daring to look at him

"just tell me where it is, I'll get there on my own just fine."

Satan turned his head, trying to get a better look at your expression

But you just stepped away from him

"if you're not going to tell me I'm going to go find it myself-"

He grabbed your wrist, cutting you off

"Was it that noble? What did he say to you?"

His anger flared as he glared at the noble

You Yanked your wrist away, frowning

"wouldn't you like to know?! Just let me- just let me breathe-!"

He paused, inhaling a deep breath

You took that moment to run off, wanting to escape the situation

Asmodeus:

"oh (Y/N)~!! I'm so glad you're finally free, when I saw that guy dancing with you I got so jealous, I thought you were going to give me all your dances?"

He playfully pouted whilst holding your hands

When he saw you weren't smiling his chipper mood immediately dropped

You moved away from him, Unable to pull your thoughts together

"what's wrong..? Did he say something?"

You shook your head

Should you tell him? But what if they treat you different?

What if it really is all a fake?

"I just need to get some air."

"oh! I'll come with you!"

He springed up, grabbing your hand once again

You threw yourself back in panick

"NO-! I mean- no thank you."

You quickly dashed to the nearest balcony ignoring the murmurs in the ballroom

Beezlebub:

You bumped into one of the many buffet tables

Avoiding an active ballroom wasn't easy

"you're not dancing anymore? Want to sit with me?"

You jumped, somehow surprised Beel was at a buffet table

"no....I'm good, I'm going to the dorm."

"Already? Do you need me to walk you home? It's pretty late."

You shook your head

You wanted to chew him out for being so kind of you

Your overwhelming emotions rising as you tried to stay dismissive

"Just tell the Brothers I'm leaving, I think I'm going to head back home."

Beel raised a brow

You looked away from his confused expression

"my real home, I need to leave the Devildom."

"you're upset from your dance with the noble, we can talk about instead of you leaving-"

"I need a break."

You repeated, your voice becoming irritated and cold

You held back your frustration and left the party

Belphegor:

"Are you leaving?"

You yelped, knocking your hand on the main door

You just wanted to slip out of the party but it seems you'd have to confront one of the brothers

Belphegor yawned, rubbing his eye

He was sleeping in the coat closet until you woke him up by your footsteps

"yes- I'm tired of this party."

"I'm tired aswell, let's go together, I'm ready to sleep."

He shuffled out of the closet but you put your hands out Infront of you

"go sleep in the palace, I don't want to be around you or-or any of you-!"

"Was it that noble? I felt jealous when I saw you two dancing together but now it seems I shouldn't of, he said something to you, didn't he? What did he say?"

You didn't even realize he saw you or was awake when that happened

You backed up until you bumped into the door

Belphegor cornered you

Wanting his questions answered but you just shoved him back

"leave me alone-! I know you're just see me as an replacement!"

You slammed the door after you and sprinted back to the dorms

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

"I see you're expanding your circle, I'm glad- why do you look so upset?"

"it's nothing, my Lord-"

You both stopped

You haven't referred to him like that since the beginning of the exchange program

He leaned down to get a better look at you, eyes darting over the conflicted and slightly Horrified expression

Both of your gazes landed on the noble

"What did he say to you? If he made you uncomfortable or threatened you, I'll deal with this-"

He tried to give you a comforting pat on the shoulder but you pushed your body away

"Quit it! Stop trying to act like you care."

You were sure if people saw your interaction they'd be glaring at you

Thinking of your audacity

But Diavolo was worried about you

He knew that Nobel has hurt you

"I do care for you, we all do - please tell me what happened."

You covered your ears, tears pricking your eyes

You shook your head and ran away

Needing space to figure out your thoughts and your emotions

Barbatos:

You trudged past Everyone, growing irritated with yourself

Were you really going to believe that guy? But it seemed to make sense

If it wasn't right then why did you feel this way?

"here, you look as if you need it."

He hands you a handkerchief

You took it slowly, looking at him with distrust

You frowned as he just smiled at you patiently

"why do you even care? Is it because of the prince?"

"I'm simply helping because I desire to, it seems Someone is causing an issue with you."

"Don't you know everything? You should know exactly what's wrong....you don't have to keep acting all vague in hopes it'll throw me off, I know you all are-"

He tilted his head, eyes squinting with an almost annoyed expression

"nevermind....Just leave me alone."

"I will but it is best to remind you that the Noble you're trusting Is not the type of man you want to be around, he is using you not the other way round."

Your froze

Unsure how to respond, you clutched the handkerchief as you gritted your teeth

You quickly ran off not wanting to confront your emotions

Solomon:

Isn't this Fun? I've even made a few pacts whilst here-"

"why are we even here? Do you ever feel like we're not actually wanted? Just being used?"

Your eyes flickered between Diavolo and the noble

Rubbing your arm as you tried to soothe yourself

Solomon followed your eyes

Clicking his tongue

"I see, that nobles gotten to your head, don't fear my apprentice, I'll fix this."

He rolled up his sleeves but you just grabbed his arm

You felt stupid for thinking you two could be on the same thought process

Was it really just the Nobel Getting to you???

But what you're feeling feels so real and so genuine - this feeling of just being a pawn or a replacement to them

"No...it's silly to think we'd be on the same page, they have much more history with you meanwhile all I have is being their sister's ancestor."

You walked off leaving the wizard to mewl over your words

You didn't stay to find out what would happen now that Solomon knew the gist of what the Nobel said to you

Simeon:

As you charged away from the party you suddenly bumped into Someone

Simeon grabbed your arms as he steadied you

But that's when he noticed your teary eyes

"Oh, what's wrong? You look upset."

"I want to leave this party."

You frowned, holding his arms whilst he held you

You glanced at the demons on the dance floor

"Are you sure? The brothers will be upset with your sudden disappearance-"

You huffed

Pushing yourself away from Simeon as. got ready to just leave by yourself

"if you don't take me back then I'll just go myself."

He was caught off by your sudden change in mood

Realizing something really harsh must of happened he grabbed your hands and wiped under your eye

"Wipe your tears, I'm sure Luke will be thrilled to see you in purgatory hall."

And just like that he walked you out of ball

A few shouts from the brothers rang in your eyes but you just sped up your pace