#it made me so happy...they were so inspired by my own care that they improved their own birds c':

[evolnoomym]

1. This is me trying

Sugar-Daddy!Joel Miller x f!OC

General Masterlist | „Runaway Butterfly 🦋“ Masterlist

Summary: You may have gotten out, but the damage is done. As you look back on the past you take a step forward in the present.

Rating: 18+ explicit content mdni!!!!

Word count: 2k

Warnings: no y/n, f!reader, this is how my first OC Moon got born, childhood abuse, self hatred, alludes to sa & suicide attempt(s), 2 separate instances of underage OC getting taken advantage of, nothing to graphic, Weed consumption, panic attack, OC sexualizes herself, she has tits and ass

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: This is the first chapter of my my first Series, it’s been sitting in my notes basically for about 3 months. (Can we believe I’ve been here for 3 months already 😅) I know it’s rather short but the following chapters will be a lot longer. No Joel except in photos, also the Hawaiian Flannel he wears in one of those is the same as @strang3lov3 owns, hers is inspired by Jim Hopper. Bug was also the one that told me to write, so it’s all thanks to her 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Shoutout to @saradika-graphics & @cafekitsune for the dividers 🫶🏻

Big thank you to for beta reading @fhatbhabiee & @jennaispunk 🦋🦋🦋

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly 👌🏻

Technically you are missing, you didn’t tell them where you’d go, they didn’t even knew you’d go at all. Though, you are sure that they are happy to be ridden of the problem, connecting all of them.

They took your pride, confidence, dignity and hope. They clipped your wings early on so you’d never get away, no chance at getting out of this nightmare. Always destined to be the black sheep, the picture-perfect scapegoat for all of them, and whenever something went wrong you got blamed.

No wonder you started to hate yourself, believing their cruel words. You were never good enough and they made you think it would be better if you would just be gone.

They tore you apart, made you hate the girl in the mirror till you just wanted to give up, they put all the blame on you, they used you as a little girl sized punching bag, they made you believe that everybody grows up that way.

Since both of your parents were equally unstable people, it forced you to grow up quickly, so you could take care of them. Never would you know who that real version of yourself could’ve been, without all the trauma, a loss to carry forever.

How should you have known that what happened was wrong, if you never knew anything else. You thought the violence and the loneliness was part of being a little girl.

With time you became something akin to a shapeshifter, trying to be whatever it took to fulfill their desires, if it meant to be loved. Even just the tiniest amount of recognition, was worth giving yourself up.

But those closest betrayed you. Turns out it was all for nothing at all. All the sacrifices you made were so entirely useless, breaking yourself down to become the version they might’ve liked best, trying fit the shape of their choice and satisfy their deranged ego’s.

You scraped together any amount of savings you still had and sold everything you owned that was worth anything. Your Dad and Grandma gave you some money and that was it.

They had pushed you so far, you felt the need to flee to an entirely different continent, almost a 15 hour fly and 525 miles away from what was supposed to be home, that’s what it took to get some semblance of freedom and peace. Austin became your home, it was a fresh start and that’s exactly what was needed.

To much happened, to many unforgivable occurrences. You couldn’t ever heal in the place they broke you in, surrounded by abusers. They might have forgotten, painted an entirely new picture of the truth for themselves, but you’ll always remember what really went down.

You could still vividly remember your brother’s frantic calls once he realized you were gone. He couldn’t believe you’d really go through on that childish silly dream, he always laughed at you for saying, you’d just pack up one day and leave everything behind.

Guess he’s not laughing anymore.

After countless attempts you finally gave in and picked up, only to met by loud thundering voices yelling at you. It was all about how insane you must be, so incredibly selfish, overly dramatic, over-emotional and weak for simply running away.

A coward.

As always it’s just about them, their feelings and what would be best for them. No care for what you’d want and what the best for you could be.

You tolerated more than anyone else would’ve, before ending the call. It was just an accumulation of empty threats, supposed to put you back in line, but it did the opposite. That phone call was the last time you’d speak to them.

8 months have passed since leaving, its now May and here you sit lounging in the living room of your tiny two-room flat. The soft, grey, cloud-like couch was one of your best investments, making it your second favorite place besides your bed.

Its Friday. The clock shows that it’s close to 6 pm, the early-evening breeze flows in through the open balcony and alongside the bustling noises of the streets outside. Cars honking, tires screeching, kids yelling, people laughing and birds chirping, all of it reminds of the overwhelming world waiting outside of your safe bubble.

You just pulled out your rolling tray, trying to quiet your mind, you’ve barely finished licking the paper. When your phone suddenly goes *ping* *ping*, a sound you haven’t heard before.

Normally that might make you anxious but today you are just annoyed by any sort of interruption to your routine.

„Ughhh.”

You begrudgingly get up to retrieve your phone from the kitchen counter. When you reach it and take a look at the screen you immediately understand what caused the strange sound.

A notification for the Sugar-Daddy website you had started using earlier this week. You have tried those odd websites before, at 16 thinking it would be a good idea. Back then you were already after the attention of a mature, wealthy and significantly older Men.

Looking back you always had a weird infatuation with men outside your age range.

Your first kiss happened, when you were 13 and still played with dolls. He was 21 and had just gotten his drivers license, already moved out and had a job. He took you on a walk, then sat down on an old park bench and just kissed you which felt like heaven,at the time. He was your Bestfriend’s older brother who knew exactly how madly in love you were with him.

Two years later, at 15, you thought that 25 year old police apprentice was seriously interested in you, convinced he’d make you his. But, no, he wanted to fuck a minor, he was after the thrill of something tight and young, to be the first to break you in and then throw you away once you served your purpose.

Even though you were foolish and naive, the perfect opportunity for him to use, it seemed your desperate want for genuine love chased him away before he could go in for the kill.

In those instances you were lucky that nothin worse happened, but at 17 the luck had run out or maybe what happened is what you get for making the mistake of trusting.

It was the friendly guy in your semester group, the one who was troubled himself but made you feel like it’s okay, he seemed to understand you. He became a good friend, he made you feel less alone and in the end he became the biggest nightmare.

Your trust was already broken and played with many times before him, but what he did was one too much. He changed the way you viewed the world, the way you lived.

You were deeply afraid of ever running in to him again, and when it happened you could practically feel the world stop spinning.

It was just a worst case scenario that never came true until it did. You remember that day like it was yesterday, it was supposed to be a quiet run to the grocery store, shopping with a friend. Standing in the bread aisle, you were waiting beside the cart for your friend to make her decision. You just stared down at the ground for a split second before looking back up and there he was. Staring at you with this awful smile of his. Ringing in your ears, shivers running down your spine and shaking hands were all you needed to know that getting out of there was more than necessary.

As you stood at the cash register the thought that it might not have been him weaseled itself into your head. The hope that it might’ve been just some mix-up got crushed when a voice behind you spoke up. That voice, the way he talks, you would recognize it anywhere. He was right there, the monster who looked so nice in the beginning was just a couple inches away. You could practically feel him breathe down your neck, just like he did that night. Keeping your composure was the biggest challenge.

Afterwards on the way home, in your friends car you broke down, never ever would you want him that close again. He contributed to you wanting to get away.

Now at 21, even after everything that happened, you thought about giving the Sugar-Daddy thing one last chance. The money would be nice, of course it would, living free without having to worry, having someone who takes care of you and you get to just enjoy living, is the dream.

You wanted to experience that, so the Profil was created, a few pictures were added showing your face, one displayed a peak of cleavage and another with focus on your backside, wearing tight pants that accentuate your plush ass all while you are just sweetly gazing over your shoulder.

Those photos were choosen with good reasoning, you believed that showing skin would attract more attention from the Sugar-Daddy’s.

A classmate once told you „You know...the only fuckable thing about you is that set of tits and that ass. Nothin else, well except maybe ur mouth,“ all while smugly laughing.

And he wasn’t the only one who said shit like that, so you believed it, showin off the assets it was and it worked but none of these man were really what you were looking for.

After 2 days of being flooded with messages, little to nothing came through anymore which you were a bit happy about, since the overwhelming attention was too much too quickly.

You are a recluse, three friends that’s all you got, two of them not even living in Austin. A lot of times you just want to be alone with yourself. Branching out like 6 years ago is not your style anymore and you started to regret putting yourself out there like this. You would’ve probably deleted the profile if it wasn’t for the awfully handsome Man who apparently took a look at your profile which caused the whole strange notification-sound.

You could only see his name “Joel Miller” but that was enough to peak your interest.

You take your phone, walk back to the couch and sit down. You scutch backwards till you can feel the pillow at your back to lean against. You open his profile and your mouth goes dry instantly. He looks to be about 40 ish, his brown-grey streaked locks are neatly styled, a well groomed beard adorned his face and those grey patches certainly made you squirm in place.

They showed his age and that is what turned you on. His amber brown orbs were quickly pulling you in. In some of his photos he wore expensive lookin suits, all highly professional. In others he looked more casual, wearing flannels and even a cute hawaiian shirt in a picture that must’ve been taken on a beach.

He looked big, 6ft3 tall, tan skin, with broad shoulders, biceps that could crush you and his hands, oh they are a sight to behold, you thought of what he could possibly to with them. How would they feel on your body, holding your hand, caressing your face, stroking your head or squeezing your waist.

You feel your cheeks get warm, heart rate picking up and there is a tremble in your breathing, all because of him.

You can already imagine how much power he would have over you with his entire body, you want that.

With all the gawking and fanning you lost track of the time, 45 minutes where spend looking at him, that realization made you feel a bit embarrassed but it turned into shock when the *Ping* *Ping* sound of again, this time with a notification that read ”Congratulations, The verified Sugar-Daddy has sent you a message don’t let him wait to long, swipe here to answer,“ and then his name ”...Joel Miller“.

Maybe he would be different to those before him, maybe you got your luck back and so you decided swipe.

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

People I think might be interested: @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelmillerisapunk @joelslegalwhre @punkshort @burntheedges @almostfoxglove @taeslarityy @joelsdagger @littlemisspascal

Taglist 🦋: @joelalorian @msjarvis @stevie75 @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 @beefrobeefcal @baronessvonglitter @sherala007 @moonlitbirdie @thundermartini @sjc7542

Please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist or taken off 🫶🏻

[laura1633]

i need to say this somewhere and i hope you won’t mind if i send this “rant” here. bc this is just a stupid smut pet peeve that i let annoy me so much.

but anyway every time i go to the lestappen tag i get really disheartened bc there is such a imbalance. there is so much bottom charles and omega charles and charles being loved and worshiped and i honestly wouldn’t mind that at all but the number of fics where max gets the same are pretty much nonexistent compared to charles-centric fics like there are bottom max fics but they get drowned out. pretty much all the popular fics that have thousands of kudos and that ppl recommend to everyone are bottom charles. seriously i saw a rec list once where the few bottom max fics had the fact that they are bottom max mentioned in the same manner as content warnings for some other fics. it was super weird but maybe the person who made that didn’t think it would come across like that.

i know there are lots of bottom max fics (i’ve probably read them all lol) and ppl who like both, like you. i’m happy about the ppl who comment on bottom max fics those fics still get a lot of love even when it seems so little in the grand scheme of things. but i’m just annoyed and a bit confused that it’s so disproportionate. probably bc charles is more popular than max and bottom charles has gotten so popular ppl are inclined to it and it's "safe" and gets more love.

then again there’s so much talk about omega max on tumblr and then none of that shows on ao3 weirdly. (except maybe on the maxiel side i literally became a maxiel shipper bc i wanted more omega max lol) some ppl on here who say they’re bottom/omega max “truthers” have like several top max fics on their account and no bottom max fics which literally not that deep everyone should write what they want and what they are inspired to write but not practicing what you preach confuses me a bit not gonna lie haha. i’ve written my own fics which are pretty much premises i want to desperately read but no one has written them (like fine i'll do it myself) and i've gotten a good response but i’m a slow writer so i haven't written everything i want to write. thank you for everything you’ve written laura!

I don't mind at all anon, I have added your second ask too <3 Sorry this ended up being a lengthy reply. I love that we can yap about the bottom or omega Max agenda though 😂

I started writing maybe about two years ago and at the time a lot of the Lestappen stories were definitely bottom Charles and omega Charles. I started writing because a little bit like yourself there was some stuff I wanted to read that didn't exist so I just wrote it myself. At the time I had no clue how to write but I have hopefully improved over the past couple years! I was just desperate for there to be some more soft Max or Max being looked after and cared for. I just think Max doesn't get enough love and there can never be enough fics where it's pointed out just how hot he is!

I also like the idea of sexy, hot alpha Charles and think it's fun to not always see him in that 'babygirl' role if that makes sense. Although I can see why he ends up in that role a lot, he is also very pretty

I used to read a lot of Maxiel for the same reason as yourself, in fact I do still read Maxiel because of that reason and also because there are some very talented writers writing it. (although I also think of Daniel as being quite omega like!)

I definitely agree that there is a lot more bottom and omega Max within the lestappen tag now compared to a couple of year ago.

For me, I like to swap it around. I like to write soft alpha Max and even bottom alpha Max. The main thing for me is that the dynamic works for the story I want to tell. I have started leaning more towards omega Max though because I know that there is plenty of omega Charles out there and there are plenty of people who can write omega Charles much better than I can!!

You are absolutely correct about the comments and kudos thing. Firstly I should say that there are some amazing writers writing some amazing bottom and omega Charles fics that deserve all the love in the world and I am not for one second suggesting that they only have so many responses because of the dynamic but (at least to start with) I found that my omega Charles fics got more kudos than the omega Max ones. That might have just been a coincidence but when I start writing a story I know it will get more attention if I write it with the omega Charles dynamic. I'm not for one second suggesting that that is what people are thinking about btw, it's just a fact I have noticed with my own work. These days I just write what I like and hope some other people like it. If I ranked my fics by kudos they definitely wouldn't be in quality order so I don't worry about that now 😂

Like you have said, everyone should write what they like as it's all for fun. I am just glad there are other people out there reading and writing bottom/omega Max or even just Max getting the love and attention he deserves.

I will read top Max and I enjoy top Max. The only Max fics I don't like are where the writer clearly doesn't like Max and is making him unnecessarily aggressive or just making him the butt of the joke in a mean way. I prefer to read Lestappen when I can tell that the writer likes both of them if that makes sense (obviously people have a favourite but that's different. )

The content warning for the bottom Max fics made me giggle. I don't know what context that was in as I didn't see the post but it definitely made me laugh. Maybe it needs a content warning because its likely to alter your brain chemistry and you'll not be able to see him topping again 😂

I will always write some bottom Charles and some omega Charles because it just works in certain contexts for me but I have felt myself leaning more towards the other dynamic. Hopefully most people don't mind because there are so many Lestappen writers these days so there is definitely plenty of omega Charles to chose from.

I am shocked there is not more Omega Max x Omega Charles though as that seems to fit quite well.

Sorry, I totally rambled there but I am a huge lover of omega and bottom Max and always will be. I am also a huge lover of Max being treated nicely and softly and getting all the attention and affection in the world.

[einsatzzz]

give me your favorite manga or anime of all time. NOW. like, the ones who changed you as a person. if you are okay with questions like that!

Charlotte!!!! More anime/manga asks yipeeee I'll give you the three I can think of rn! For this one, Gintama is definitely my all-time fave but the others are in no specific order at all

Gintama - This one started off as a comedy at first and it really took its time endearing me to all these quirky and funny characters, while also showing glimpses of the layers beneath them. Then comes the "serious" arcs, that's when I start screaming and crying when I get to know more beneath those layers. The comedy is definitely still the highlight in this series for me, whenever I feel down I would pick a random Gintama episode and just watch it. Tbh, even if it has 300+ episodes, I can confidently say that I probably already rewatched it at least three times by now. But another highlight for me here is the mangaka's godtier ability to shift the tone between say comedy and serious/heartwarming moments, the transitions feel really smooth and it doesn't feel forced or out of place. I mentioned this in Jojo's ask, but this series really helped/supported me through my most depressed teenage years and it's probably not an overstatement to say that its one of the reasons I'm still alive rn. One of the quotes there that I can still vividly remember is "It's always darkest right before dawn". On the more goofy side, even to this day, I still have that one monkey's long ass name memorized lmao (the tagalog version specifically) Even if I change interests and fandoms, it will always be #1. The writing style, the characters and the comedy in Gintama are all such a huge inspiration, as well as a standard, for me. If you're familiar with Gintama, you can see lots of pieces of it in the way I want to portray and execute my own stories.

Pandora Hearts - THIS ONE CERTAINLY CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY AS WELL. ITS ALSO VERY MUCH A MASTERPIECE. But my brain treats it the opposite of Gintama, in the way that after I finished reading the manga - I never reread it again. That's just how much the story destroyed me so thoroughly. I'm so afraid to re-experience it lmaooo I cried a lot of times for the characters there and the plot twists are nothing short of insane. I really love how complex the characters, their relationships with e/o and their lore are in this story. This series really fuels the angst + extremely complicated story lover in me. It's also a huge inspiration for my stories 🤭🤭🤭 If you're not familiar with this one, I recommend searching this one anime ost it has called "Lacie" (to avoid spoilers, don't go for the sideshow ones dkdhdj). I'm so attached to that ost, it has been a source of both comfort and sadness in one package. One of these days, I'll get enough courage for a reread...

IDOLiSH7 - I discovered this idol series when I was in college! (specifically experienced it first in the mobile game form) I thought its gonna be the usual happy lighthearted idol story that I'll move on from after a few weeks BUT NO! BRAIN CHEMISTRY CHANGED!! I didn't expect them to go so much deeper than that and I didn't expect to love & be attached to all the main characters, it's insane. Some of the characters' problems like Mitsuki's even hits so close to home, it really made me go *pause and starts walking around the house*. And thats just part 1 of the story, and then it's gets even worse (in the best way possible) in further parts. It doesn't help that the anime for it was done with a lot of love and care in it, elevating and improving the source material even further (adding/emphasizing symbolisms, more foreshadowing, etc). I just know that the main people involved in the creation/production of its anime were also as much of a fan as I am 🥺💖✨ (THE SONGS ARE BANGERS TOO!!!)

That's all for now, let me know if you want me to list more hehehe I rambled a lot for each of these three, but tbh, I still don't think it's enough to express hm these series meant to me dkdbmssbsn

[littleyukki5033]

Glitchtale: FEAR

Author Note: Hello everyone! I was honestly surprised a few told me to go for it when I expressed I wanted to rewrite Glitchtale. I will be doing my own vision on this while also having inspiration from the original even tho...it..was confusing but for my version, I will try my best to make it make sense. This will also help me improve my writing skills for my AU I am working on for a webtoon! Please reshare this and your thoughts to me as this progresses! I will be changing stuff and also keeping some thkngs the same but also adding more depth to things for the story. Maybe expect visuals if I have time to do that buuut...hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!

Glitchtale: FEAR

Chapter 1: Megalomaniac

..........................

Everyone was dead.

Majority were dead anyway. Alphys was able to save a few but...it seem inevitable.

Sans stood in the judgement hall, he always wondered how something so bright can shine through the windows. Such a beautiful light and yet dark. What he felt was dark.

He looked ahead hearing small chatter. The chatter seemed to stop after awhile, only footsteps that got louder the closer it got. This wasn't the first time he been here. Waiting, judging. The human did many genocide routes. Never completing a pacifest route, maybe they were just bored Sans thought. The human only did one pacifest route to hotland then suddenly Sans remembers waking up in his room. Not sure what made the human change their mind about the whole thing.

A small sigh escape as he saw the human lift their hand to the air, never knew why they did that but he assumed there was something there that made the human come back. Sans watch Frisk turn their body in his direction. Frisk expression was dark.

Sans stared as his pupils narrow to the windows. The human always quit during his fight, why did they try again and again? Reset after reset? Sans lifted his hand and his one pupil glowed blue with a mix of yellow.

'This is their fault...right?'

Rows of bones shot up from the floor, launching at Frisk who jump back. Only to turn and see blue blasts devouring Frisk and turning them into nothing. Their soul shattering.

Sans lowered his hand and felt the small energy that he wasted return, seeing Frisk again. Sans tilit his head to the side.

"What is it that you want?" He asked

Frisk remained silent as they launch and swung their knife at Sans. Sans easily dodge it and turn Frisk soul blue, they got launch back and their entire chest got pierce by bones against the wall.

Energy was replenish again for Sans. He look ahead seeing Frisk again. He then rubbed the back of his head.

"Seriously...I really believe there was a time we could been pals? Eating bad food...enjoying laughs...." Sans paused for a brief moment before his eyes glowed again "can we go back to that?"

Frisk spun the knife before launching at Sans again, swinging the knife. Sans noticed something was off. Frisk seem to be dodging a little better or maybe he saw something different. Small little specs of..whatever what was happening. Sans ignored it however as he summoned Gaster Blaster and shot at Frisk who got devour by it again.

"Can't you just reset the timeline and we can go back to how it was" Sans exclaimed as he shot multiple bones at Frisk. Frisk swung there knife blocking and parrying.

"Even after what you did, he believe in you"

Frisk felt the bones pierce there chest causing them to die again. Death after death after death. Frisk didn't want to care anymore, but they hated it. Dying over and over again made them hate it so much.

"Give up"

Frisk barely recall anything that Sans has said after that. They stood there between continue and reset. There was one thing that Frisk did remember.

'Please don't come back....if your my friend...please...'

Frisk stood there staring at the continue before looking at the reset. All of this could end. All of it. Frisk can be happy, they don't need to fight. Frisk was ready, they were ready to give up but...there was hate. Clinging onto them. Frisk felt the hate wrap around them, seeing a brief moment of Chara with a wide smile before Frisk saw nothing but black.

Sans stared ahead, seeing someone else who wasn't Frisk. Chara tilit their head to the side with a smile. Sans felt uneasy, before he knew it Chara was already attacking him. Swing after swing, dodge after dodge. Chara was more skilled at fighting with a knife than Frisk was. Even when Sans launch Chara towards a row of bones, Chara spun the knife and slammed it onto the floor and stop themselves from falling onto the bones. Sans felt his exhaustion coming through.

Frisk can only seem to see what was happening in such a thin lining. Frisk slammed their fists against the view they only hand.

"I'm sorry" Frisk yelled. Nothing happened.

Attack after attack got slower. So much slower. Three bones slowly launch at Chara who just stood there, parrying two. Catching one. Sans let out a shaky breathe, he had hit his limit. Falling to his knees and slowly glancing up at Chara who smiled widely.

Frisk slammed there fists harder, a crack. A crack formed, Frisk felt a glimmer of determination spark.

Chara lifted there knife in the air. Sans let out a breathe. What a nice day....he thought. Before closing his eye sockets.

He thought it be quick, to turn into dust but all he heard was blood splatter onto the judgement hall floor. He opened his eye sockets to see Frisk have returned, only to have been struck in the back by Chara who look equally shock as Sans was.

"I'm sorry Sans....please take my soul and fix my mistakes" Frisk said before dissapearing.

Chara stood there baffled befkre gritting their teeth and reaching for the soul but Sans was able take it first. A blast happened and Chara flew back, sliding on their feet. Chara glanced up at Sans who both eye sockets were open wide and both glowing.

"Hehe, look at that" he said as he glanced at the reset button next to him. "Did you forget?" He asked

Chara looked annoyed. "But...first..." Sans snap his fingers and Chara felt a bone pierce their chest and launch them into the air. Sans surrounded them by Gaster blasters. Sans smiled widen seeing the blasts shot and cause the judgement hall to glow blue.

"Eh..get dunk on megalomanic" he stated as he pressed the reset button.

_________________________________________

Your here on Chapter one

Chapter Two - Yet Darker

Glitchtale: FEAR belongs to me

Inspired by Glitchtale (we know who it belongs too 💀)

[elysiansparadise]

Hi! I also have a question, not astrology related.

How did you become such a good writer?

I'm looking for inspiration to put my thoughts into words. I'm socially awkward and introverted, so I'm not the best always at expressing myself.

Thanks.

I'd love to start by saying that I'm deeply touched that you consider me so good at writing, it is one of the compliments I am most happy to hear/read, so thank you very much. I prefer to share with you how I improved and felt confident about my writing.

🤎I wrote daily. I used to daydream about writing and not doing it actively, one day I got tired and preferred to get in front of the computer and write a bit. I made writing a habit, not just any habit, but my favorite. If I didn't feel well I would write about my own feelings, in addition to practicing writing I would vent.

🤎I worried about my surroundings. I made sure to turn off the television, put on my favorite music, wear comfortable clothes, have a comfort drink with me before getting back to writing.

🤎I made my passions the main theme of my writing. Astrology? I made notes in my notebook until I filled dozens of them. New crush? Hundreds of poems describing in a thousand different ways my feelings when looking at that person. Find out what topics you are passionate about so you can write about them.

🤎I practiced different styles. From the most technical, clean and to the point writing, to the most poetic and metaphorical that you can imagine. The trick is not to be afraid to experiment, let yourself be carried away by what you write.

🤎Reading is as important as writing. Reading can help you find out which styles you like and which you don't. I found that while I love romantic and poetic language, but when it's "too much" to such a degree that the main point vanishes, I lose interest. It also expands your vocabulary and helps you find new interests.

🤎I got rid of the idea of ​​writing for others before writing for me. Public opinion is a weight that you carry on your back that can harm your posture regarding writing all your life. Although listening to opinions is crucial to improve, you have to discern which to listen to and which to ignore. Care more about writing for you and topics you like before caring which topics other may rather.

🤎Music was my greatest company. And it still is. Random Playlist and my mind is in charge of creating interesting scenarios. Music helped me explore emotions that were foreign to me at that time.

🤎I hung out with people who were PASSIONATE about writing or watched videos of writers talking about their next novel. Passion is contagious, you know? There is nothing more empowering for our inner writer than seeing the sparkle in the eyes, the huge smile or the fire with which other people express themselves when they talk about writing. It just motivated me not to stop writing.

These are just a couple of things, I think it depends a lot on the person. I sincerely hope you find a method that allows you to put what you think into words, I'm sure that what you have to tell is interesting and valuable. All the best to you, love. 🤎

[lifewtr]

∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹ * fan fic tag game * ∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹

HELLO @krankittoeleven! THANKS FOR THE TAG, WE ARE DEFINITELY HOMIES NOW :D i enjoyed your answers a lot; it's nice to meet you! ♥

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

as of today, i have 50 fics on the archive!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

426,518. jeez.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

predominantly avatar: the last airbender, though i have certainly dabbled in others over the years. right now i'm slowly working my way into the jujutsu kaisen fandom ♥♥

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Lemon, Two Sugars (zutara, rated M): 905 kudos.

Give It Up (zutara, rated E): 824 kudos.

Half Joy (vinceno, rated E): 457 kudos.

Lyk Dis (zutara, rated E): 425 kudos.

Put It Down (zutara, rated E): 414 kudos.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I DO I'M JUST ABYSMAL WITH TIMELY REPLIES. I'M SORRY I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND I READ EVERY SINGLE ONE I SWEAR <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

like the homie krankittoeleven, i pretty much only use angst as a plot device - there are only happy/hopeful endings in this household lmao - but if i consider context, the fic with the angstiest ending is probably Honorfall (zutara, rated E). maybe Of All the Things My Hands Have Held (zutaraang, rated M)..?

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

lots of my fics have happy endings ;))))) as for the happiest... ahh, probably If It Means a Lot to You (zukaang, rated M) and Flowers Never Pick Themselves (zutaraang, rated M).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

er, yes and no? i feel like hate is a strong word. it's more so that there are some readers who have simply ~disliked~ certain premises of mine, which, y'know, is what it is! click away or write your own shit! ♥

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

the good kind, baby, and absolutely nothing less. if it doesn't make me wet, i don't post it!

10. Do you write crossovers?

i used to! especially with and amongst irl friends. if there was a fandom i/we were into, there was a harry potter crossover in our shared docs to go with it LOL.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

an entire fic? no, not to my knowledge anyway. but i've definitely had some scenes and dialogue grabbed and scattered across the web over the years.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no ;-; i've never even had art made for/inspired by my fics ;-;;;; one day though. one day i am going to write something [clenches fist] so fucking good...

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

several times! said fics will not be seeing the light of today, but yes! i love a good co-write!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

once again, like the new homie i will not be picking just one and you will simply have to deal with it LOL. i am extremely down bad for tony stark/bucky barnes, tony stark/t'challa, tony stark/stephen strange.. okay i'm tony-centric, fuckin sue me. anyways. i still really love sesshomaru/kagome, zuko/katara, harry potter/hermione granger, trevor/alucard/sypha, and now gojo/nanami. when i tell you i am fERAL ABOUT NANAGO—

15. What’s a fic you’d like to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Take Care (zutara, rated M), and several other zutara fics that i have put into a graveyard so that even though they're unlikely to be completed, they can still be appreciated!

16. What are your writing strengths?

mmm. this is a bit hard for me to answer because i feel like i could use improvement everywhere, always. i could probably use some more work in my dialogue though (just having more of it, i think). with conflict resolution as well - circling back to angst, i usually gloss over it because i want [my] characters to have nothing but good times and good endings. i need to be less wary of putting them through some shit, which i am working on!

anywayyy. my biggest strength is my prose!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

up for debate, but personally my weakness is outlines. i try to use them but my brain does not like having "rules" when it comes to creating a story, even if i am the one to write them ;;

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

i'm a native (american) english speaker, so this question feels.. odd? bc ~american~? but as a native english speaker, i absolutely don't mind at all. i love languages and i love letting them into my brain! i myself use words from different languages, especially in what i'm writing is based in another country/place of origin.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

inuyasha! no you cannot see it, it's lost in the ether!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Real War is Far Easier (zutaraang, rated M) and Performance Issues (zutara, rated E), which was a gift to the wonderful @zutarawasrobbed! there's a whole universe there that nobody but the two of us know about and i can't wait for the day that everyone can laugh about it as much as we do LOL

∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹ *∘⋆∘⋆․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹․⊹․∘⟡˖*⊹⊹․⊹․∘⟡

tagging: @nire-the-mithridatist @gemgirl28 @andthedicestopped and @fidget-scribbles ♥

[akiraa-aa]

For Those of Y’all who need this <3

You. Yes you, reading this post. I am proud of you. Yes, despite your flaws. There are still things to be proud of and live for. If you are hurting, talk to someone sweetie. Even your online pals. Just sharing and spilling your beautiful feelings is a healthy way to cope. It doesn’t matter whether or not you are fat or skinny, have a mental illness or just don’t fit in with the world. None of us were made to fit in. We were all made to stand out and be ourselves. Live our own lives, and explore our passions and desires. To be ourselves and never doubt that we are anything below perfect. This may seem like a fever dream to many reading this, but I learned that in just a few simple words, you can change someone’s mind. You can inspire people. You can change the world. And if you want to change the world, you have to be the good change. Not the bad change. Yes, there will always be people that pull you down, and make you feel like you are drowning in a sea of hopelessness. But there is still hope. For you. For me. For everyone struggling with mental health or other issues. No matter what, it will always be important how YOU see YOURSELF at the end of the day. Not how others peering in from the outside see you. Set boundaries, explore your hobbies, defy the odds and prove the haters wrong. Like you are supposed to do. Harming yourself (in any way) is like ripping a petal off of a flower. And once you rip all of the petals off, what is left? Nothing but the stem. And a stem can only stand for so long before it gets squashed. The world makes it hard, but you have the power to change your mood and to change your point of view. You have the power to be stronger, to be your authentic self. Think about it: Why are you here? To thrive. To be YOU. This is only the beginning, sweetheart. You can live and be happy. Because you, whoever you are, wherever you came from, and whatever you are. You are a beautiful and unique individual who doesn’t fit into the stereotypical manners of society, and that is completely OKAY. We are humans, not robots, darling. I want you to grab some paper, a pencil a pen. Or open the Notes App on your phone. Or even Google Docs. Or even this app and reply to this post with it. By writing down things you dislike and like about yourself. Whatever those may be. And name REASONS why you like and dislike those things. Look back at the dislikes, and think: Is this me being pessimistic and doubting my abilities, or is this an actual flaw of mine that I can improve? And have that growth mindset. Because no matter what, no one deserves to feel like they can’t speak up. To feel trapped. To feel like they can’t get better. Because you can get better. And change and recovery is possible, even in this messed up world. ❤️

I am making it my goal to inspire as many people as possible. To help as many people as possible. To care for as many people as possible. To show people that there is still light in the world. I am offering a safe spot for those dealing with horrible feelings of pain and harshness. A community here on Tumblr, hopefully YouTube and if you join I will start up a Discord Server to help the struggling beauties in this world. Please know that you are loved, you are appreciated. You are valid. Your identity, hobbies, pronouns, height, weight, origin. Those make you YOU. And there is nothing to be ashamed of, darling. Because we are all different.

But that is what makes us all special. 💜

(Message me here on Tumblr, or on my Discord Acc that_one_aakaria)

I love you all ❤️

[sanchoyo]

Hiiiiii, it is I again!! I just finished Cold Love and gosh!

The ending was just so nice, mostly when I thought SHIGGY WAS DYING FOR A MOMENT- 😭 Then they were just being super sweet at the beach and I ngl cried a little, they all deserved that happiness <3 I also still wanna cry (In a good way tho) BECAUSE I FINISHED THE WHOLE THING I wanna write a little note to myself, next to my bed, erase my memories about these 2 fics, then wake up next morning, read the note and reread the whole thing with as much joy as the first time! I'm gonna reread them FOR SURE, but not now as they're still fresh in my brain :3

And you know, Cold Love has opened my mind more than it already was I mean I already love heroes and villains, but you've put a lot more details that made me go: "Shit, I didn't think it was THAT much"

The way you wrote how the hero commission treats heroes made me think of what my parents always tell me about Actors and Models. "Their lives/bodies don't belong to them, it belongs to the company they work for" That sentence hit me even more when the chapters were Hawks centered. Poor guy, he was a literal lab rat. The worst is that he ISN'T THE ONLY ONE GOING THROUGH THAT

Villains, I already sympathized with a lot, in other medias and MHA too But your fic made me realize that, when they do those crimes, it's for them but mostly for OTHERS as well!! They're like heroes, in a way, because they want to make society BETTER. They do this because they know how it feels to be rejected, hated and they want to change it so NO ONE ELSE has to go through this. Also, we often see them not caring about dying if they do achieve their goal, because they know next gens will have better lives than they ever had. WHICH I THINK IS HELLA SAD BUT SO NICE OF THEM???

Though I DON'T agree with them taking lives of course, but I don't hate them anyways because, when they've been rejected by everyone and everything, how else are they supposed to get attention? Very unfortunately, crimes is often their answer…

I think, if I was in MHA, I'd also opt for the Vigilante route. Fuck the hero commission lmao

I won't tell why, but let's just say that I'm more compassionate about villains now <3

ON A MUCH LIGHTER NOTE!! Fanart for Warm Healer is on the way!! So keep an eye open? :3

Fun fact for Cold Love: When Bret asked why Dabi was in the closet, I blurted out: "BECAUSE HE'S GAY!!" Lmao

So yeah, just wanted to say your fics are great! They've inspired me into improving my own fics <3 I even started making my own Shiggy x Reader AND a Dabi x Reader too! Because most of them are smut centered and I don't want just NSFW ya kno?

Anyways, I'm done rambling lol Thanks for writing WH and CL, thanks for inspiring me, thanks for bringing me joy and sorry for rambling that much lmao

Hope you're doing well, lots of love, take care and keep being awesome!!

thank you so much for such a long, sweet message 💗💗💗

I really enjoy bnha fics where the writers closely examine the society and its problems because its SO interesting (and im kind of sad the way it went in canon, I wanted a lot more and found the school setting kind of restricting for it in general, but we'll always have fics haha) i'm glad you enjoyed me doing that just a little bit! (maybe it was kind of weird to include in a romance SI series, but also it would've felt like a huge disservice in my opinion because ALL of the villains stories are influenced by the society they live in and how heroes are treated...)

aaah again, don't feel obligated to do the fanart but if you do, definitely tag me/send it my way, I'd love to see!! 🥺 (also you're writing your own shigaraki/reader and dabi/reader!!! omg!! I hope you have fun making your own!!! they're so fun to write <3 I agree on the wanting more SFW SI fics, sometimes I just wanna go on silly adventures with my favs y'know? :"))

no need to apologize for rambling!! I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it so much!!! your message made my day ^_^ I hope you have a good day too and your writing/art projects go well!!

[edenfenixblogs]

Idk if you're still interested in knowing about this stuff, but drawfee tweeted about the pcrf stream today

Yes! I have seen this. I’m really glad they mentioned they won’t tolerate antisemitism.

It seems like they’ll be allowing the spamming of FtRttS, flags, and watermelon emojis. But if they actually manage to encourage the participants to to not just demand a ceasefire but to ask them to call on their representatives to demand a negotiated ceasefire in which both sides actually cease to fire, then I’m happy enough.

I have said repeatedly that I don’t think the folks at Drawfee are bad people. I think that there is some unexamined antisemitism that is not unique to any member of Drawfee and is common in basically anyone who has not actively engaged in antiracist work about antisemitism specifically.

I trust that they want to do good.

I think in general this statement is really good because it addresses a lot of the main concerns that people brought up online about how silence encourages antisemitism.

But I also think that it will leave some Jews feeling alienated for understandable reasons. I’m not going to detail those reasons here in this post or in any post I tag with “Drawfee,” because I’m not in the habit of trying to hurt people who are trying to improve themselves and grow.

As for me personally? Idk. This statement really helped a lot. I love the gang. I have all three of Julia’s drawtectives posters on my wall. I have the Trans Rigs keychain and pride rights shirt. I have the post cards framed in various places around my home. I even have the book!

It actually made me ill to look at them before this statement—not because they owe me anything. I want to emphatically state that none of them owe me anything. But I won’t pretend it didn’t have an affect on me when I saw them engaging with blatant propaganda sources—knowingly or not. Speaking for myself and only myself: I just couldn’t emotionally handle that I had spent so much time supporting creators who might actively hate me. But now I’m back to being happy to see the Drawfee merch around me home. It reminds me of the enjoyment their content brought me.

NGL, though. I’m still pretty wounded by how nasty things got for no reason, so idk if (again, just speaking for myself here and not encouraging anyone to follow my lead in any way) I will be able to engage with the content anymore.

I want to! But I also think they probably do NOT want me to. I’m just one fan and I think my interactions, however well intentioned, caused them stress and anxiety.

I feel wounded that they interpreted my actions in a manipulative way despite my repeated attempts to make clear they were in good faith. They likely feel wounded because I (unintentionally) inspired controversy in response to what they felt was an unambiguously good deed.

Of course, they might not know or care about me specifically at all, which is fine! Who knows‽ Only they can.

Either way, whether they are indifferent to me or angry with me or annoyed at me or whatever, I feel a lot of complex ways about everything that happened during this particularly stressful time.

So, idk. I’d love to enjoy their content again. And depending on how well they curb antisemitism in the stream (which is dependent on whether or not the mods educate themselves enough on what antisemitism even looks like, which seems to be one of the main issues at play in modern discourse), I might feel safe enough to watch their content again.

It’s hard to imagine feeling that same kind of comfort that I used to though, given everything. But that’s ok. That is a personal boundary for me based on my own needs. It’s an unpleasant feeling, but it doesn’t make them bad people or me a bad person. Everyone is gonna have their own boundaries and limitations about topics this sensitive.

Thanks for the message @theres-so-many.

[ask-ikevamp-faust]

Dear Johann

Today there is a crescent moon in the night sky.

I finally succeeded to dream about you but not in the way I was expecting. I asked a friend for a piece of art about you and just dreamed about it, I think because I'm pretty excited. Is pretty interesting to me to see her work and be creative about how she is portraying you.

I also really like to paint and draw, but is being a long time since I managed to finish something, like there is something really stopping me to grab a brush, I always just finish and clean the line art and then stop there. I started writing down all my ideas if one day I want to work on them.

I'm happy I decided to trust my friend with one of my ideas, I know she truly would make it come true, she really has improved a lot and works really fast and I enjoy seeing her growing as an artist.

After feeling like a mess in my last letters, sudenly there was a calm and work become very paceful. I don't know if this peace is going to last after writing this but it was really curious that after feeling pretty bad, there was a pause to the chaos.

Imagined you're pretty busy since I didn't heard back from you, but I'm truly pitiful, since I'm the type to stack letters even if I never hear back from the other person. It's been like this with some people I think or care about and I always think about writing to them, even if is a open letter to the void.

I'm was thinking about doing trick or treating at my house (blog) but I can't really think about what would be good to offer as candy and I'm just too tired to work on something when I don't know if there is going to be kids asking at the door. Are you thinking about doing something special on october 31th?.

Yours truly, @crowmero

PD: Me doy cuenta que no vas a ser mi maestro de Alemán pero si mi maestro de Inglés. Voy a considerar escribir más en español porque a veces me toma mucho más tiempo y energía hacerlo en inglés.

My dear...

Hmm I’m unsure what to call you. Until I have a different name for you, guinea pig will do.

You managed to successfully dream of me in some way, excellent. Inspiration can be found anywhere. Just to make sure I understood, you dreamt of the art of me? Show me the art your friend made.

If you enjoy creating your own art then I wonder, is there something holding you back from committing to your creations?

There will always be shifts in your environment, you cannot control that. You can, however, control how you react to those changes. Do what is best for your well-being.

Yes, I was busy, amongst other things… There were some issues going on in the castle. I was slowly writing a response but you sent in a new letter, so decided to focus on this one.

There are plenty of simple things you can try to partake in this “trick or treating” event. You can also attempt to be a “trick or treater” instead of hosting. My admin is currently trying to convince me to open a trick or treat event, but I continue to refuse. At the moment I don’t have plans besides doing some reading and drug mixing. Are you planning something for the night of ghosts and witches?

Yours,

Johann Georg Faust

PS - Si el Inglés toma mucho tiempo y energía, escribe en Español. También está “Spanglish”, mi Admin dice que eso es cuando hablas usando el Inglés y Español en conjunto. Ya te lo dije una vez antes, no volveré a repetirme.

[bluesicle]

I love Kingdom Hearts.

The first game specifically slams down all of the keys on the piano of nostalgia in my heart.

Every time I hear Traverse Town, I get a soft comfort in my brain that reminds me of the times before my whole life went downhill, and I want to keep it that way.

I first was introduced to Kingdom Hearts by my uncle who owned a PS2. Beforehand, I already had knowledge of Final Fantasy games such as X.

This was all back in first grade, so my mind is a little foggy. I saw my uncle playing a game that wasn't one I've seen him play on his PS2. Of course, I asked him what it was. When he responded by saying it was a mix of Final Fantasy and Disney, I was obviously interested. You know, since I was super young, it's probably safe to assume that I liked Disney movies.

He started playing it, the whole intro sequence played with the remix of Simple and Clean, and I fell in love.

I would watch him play, and my dad would point out the Final Fantasy characters. All the ones I knew, and the ones that I didn't.

Of course I wanted to play, but I never got that far. I sucked at the combat, and I still kinda do to this day. So for the most part, I would wait until my uncle was willing to play that day.

I watched him complete the game. I loved it!

I have vague memories of drawing the heartless on the backs of my papers during class.

But after a bit, I dropped it. I have forgotten about the game that I had loved so much.

Fast forward to 3rd grade, and I hit a very rough patch in my life that I can't let go of to this day.

Of course, I developed more of an attachment to drawing, like I did back in 1st grade. But I used it more of a way to be happy and escape such terrible things in my life. Drawing made me happy, like it did in my past.

Over multiple rocky years, my art was developing, and I was proud of myself. But I still didn't have much contact with Kingdom Hearts. I didn't care about it, because there were so many other things that I liked. Those things inspired me to draw. I didn't need to remember Kingdom Hearts.

I didn't realize until I re-discovered Kingdom Hearts sometime in summer of last year that Kingdom Hearts had more than just the one game. It is a whole, amazing, kinda confusing, franchise.

And now, I have more knowledge on the series.

My art skills have improved.

I hope I keep a hold of these games for even longer than I had before.

They have a special place in my heart.

First grade me would be so happy for me as of now.

And really, that's all I want to do. Keep my inner child happy. Remind myself of the good times.

I'm glad I re-discovered this series. And I'm hoping you can keep your inner child happy, just like I can.

(Blake if you see this post, do NOT point out the possible mistakes in it. You know my memory is full of holes.)

[aashiquidreams]

During one of my breathing sessions, someone shared about their feelings of loneliness. It took me by surprise, as this person seemed to have it all together: popular and loved, physically fit, calm and collected, with a busy career, and in a relationship. Their honesty struck a chord with me and reminded me that we never truly know what someone carries inside. I admired their courage in opening up about such vulnerable feelings, which inspired me to reflect on my own experiences with loneliness and the masks I’ve worn to conceal it.

As someone who’s always reflecting and striving for self-improvement, I realized I haven’t always been honest in my healing journey. I still struggled to acknowledge my own loneliness, likely due to shame and childhood conditioning of never showing weakness. Growing up, my parents portrayed an image of the perfect family, hiding the problems, emotional abuse, and beatings we endured at home. I was expected to behave in the same manner, concealing what was really going on. They still have a habit of downplaying things and acting like everything’s fine. Their avoidance and lack of accountability are some of the reasons why I could never have a healthy relationship with either of them. Realizing this makes me sad and lonely too, but I’ve accepted it.

Despite these feelings of loneliness, I’ve come to appreciate the value of solitude in my life. There are times when I actively seek out moments of quiet reflection to process my thoughts and emotions, especially after being around others or having certain experiences. I’ve learned that there’s a difference between needing solitude for self-care and feeling isolated or disconnected from others. While I don’t mind being alone, and indeed often need it to maintain my emotional well-being, I still yearn for meaningful connections with others. It’s in those moments of genuine connection that I find solace and a sense of belonging, reminding me of the profound human need for both solitude and companionship.

Hearing this person talk about loneliness stirred something within me. Over the past weeks, I’ve been slowly accepting my own loneliness, something I’ve hidden deep inside and been too ashamed to admit. Most people wouldn’t believe me anyway. I remember years ago when people first heard I was suffering from depressive episodes, coworkers and neighbors were in disbelief. People always find me sociable and fun; I can make people laugh and come across as someone who’s always happy. And whenever I go outside, I always take care of my appearance. So I understand why people aren’t aware or are in disbelief. Nowadays, not many know how I’ve been feeling lately, and no one knows the depth of my loneliness. They might suspect it, but I’ve never openly discussed it with anyone.

This deep-rooted loneliness also translates to attracting the wrong romantic interests. Sadly, it has led me into the wrong arms more than once, leaving me even more lonely and traumatized. It made me afraid of love, less trusting, and sad to a point that at times I can barely face the world or function. As I write all this, I find myself taking breaks to compose myself, wiping away tears, and remembering to breathe.

What I long for most in this moment is a caring, safe man; someone who looks at me and really sees me and doesn’t run, use or betray me. Someone who holds me tight for minutes on end, offering solace and understanding. While I am capable of tending to my own needs, there are times when the journey feels overwhelmingly lonely. I can’t help but imagine the comfort of sharing the weight of my emotions with someone; someone to gently wipe away my tears, to hold my hand through the challenging moments, and to provide unwavering support when I need it most. In the end, I’m only human, longing for comfort and connection. My soul wants safe, genuine, and profound love.

[darkened-storm]

Happy Birthday @hellovivirose

Vivi! @hellovivirose Wishing you the happiest of birthdays! It’s been an absolute delight knowing you, running a server with you (which, for everyone else, is happily welcoming new and returning beyblade and beyblade OC fans, give us a shout for more info) and sharing our OCs and all our whacky ideas. You’ve been a wonderful friend, supporting me through some trying months and reigniting my passion for Beyblade. 

This scene was inspired the moment you shared one of your artworks with me, and I have been absolutely dying to share it with you, but I don’t know what to tell you - our characters are poorly behaved children and this just kept evolving further. 

And since I finished this in beyOCweek, I’m going to double down and claim this for an early day 11: Hurt prompt.

I hope you like it!

--

It’s been a week, Steph thought dismally as she watched the elevator numbers count up to the seventh floor. The elevator itself reeked of potent disinfectant, the sort of smell that made her stomach turn - she hated hospitals. Nothing good ever happened in a hospital in Steph’s opinion.

The elevator rattled to a stop on the ICU floor and the doors opened into a dimly lit ward. Save for the night nurses, the hospital was practically deserted. Visitors usually weren’t permitted at this hour, but tonight at least, the staff had made an exception.

ICU wards always shared the same layout: with the patient beds arranged in a circle around the nurses station so that they could be monitored continuously by the diligent staff. That diligent monitoring brought Steph no comfort though - instead it served as a constant reminder of just how precarious Tala’s situation was.

The night staff waved her through to the room across the hall where she wasn’t surprised to find the guest chair by the bed occupied by a familiar, yet almost unrecognisable figure.

For as long as Steph had known her; Celeste had been the epitome of neat and organised. In the stadium, everything from her outfit to the ribbons she tied in her hair had been meticulously evaluated prior to execution.

The Celeste that sat in the chair at Tala’s beside was a shadow of her former self; and Steph didn’t blame her, she was pretty sure her friend hadn’t left the hospital since she’d arrived in Japan. Dressed in old jeans and a hoodie, Celeste’s usually neat hair hung limp around her shoulders. She looked up as Steph entered, hastily wiping the tears from beneath her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said, sounding embarrassed. “I know I’m not supposed to be here - ”

“You’re supposed to be in Canada,” Steph interjected, holding out one of the coffee cups.  “But since when have you or I ever done what we were supposed to?” she added.

Celeste choked out a laugh, accepting the cup and folding her fingers around it. “I suppose you’re right,” she agreed, “although, I’m not sure he would approve.”

“Maybe,” Steph said, perching on the end of the Tala’s bed and balancing her own cup precariously in her palm. 

Canada was exactly the sort of distance Tala would want both of them from the current situation. Then again, if he hadn’t been so insistent on handling everything himself, he might not be lying in a hospital bed, so Steph didn’t care much for his opinion right now. 

She ran her eyes over the vitals monitors for her own peace of mind. “No change since yesterday then?” 

Celeste shook her head. “Nothing,” she confirmed. “Still, I couldn’t leave him - not when he could wake up any minute.” 

Except that he wouldn’t, Steph knew - at least, not yet. 

Following the battle with Garland, the doctors had placed Tala in a medically induced coma to reduce the swelling in his brain, to give him time to heal, they’d told her. And while the results had looked positive in the first few days; his white cell count reduced and his fever abated, he’d shown little to no improvement since. 

Steph had been around hospitals long enough to know doctors gathering outside rooms and talking in hushed voices was anything but good news. 

The truth was, the doctors had no answers for Tala’s condition because there was no medical reason for it. She’d known it the moment she’d retrieved the shattered remnants of his beyblade from the stadium floor. Whatever was going on with her friend had very little to do with biology and more to do with the broken bond between with Wolborg. She knew that through her own bond with Fovular, Celeste would have felt Tala’s loss, even from across the world.

“Kenny thinks that if we can rebuild Wolborg’s beyblade, there might be a chance,” she explained. “BEGA’s registration requirements have made it impossible for us to source new beyblade parts from any of the local hobby shops.”

Celeste sucked in a breath. “But you’re supposed to go up against their team in less than a week,” she exclaimed. “What are you going to do?”

Steph shrugged. “The Chief will think of something,” she said, albeit uncertainly. Designing and building five new beyblades in a week was already an impossible undertaking, let alone without access to the parts they would need. But Kenny hadn’t let them down yet. 

She sighed, sipping at her coffee.  “Everything is a real mess right now, huh?”

Celeste could only nod. Given the circumstances, Steph figured her friend was holding herself together better than anticipated. The revelation that BEGA had unscrupulously ousted Dickenson from his own company was one thing, but Tala’s allegations against Boris had undoubtedly turned Celeste’s whole world upside down. 

“I didn’t know,” she lamented. “When my mum withdrew me from the Abbey, I knew something was a miss, but I never imagined …” she trailed off, burying her head in her hands. When she spoke again, her voice was barely a whisper. “Why didn’t he tell me?”

Steph reached over and squeezed her hand, hoping the gesture would be of some comfort to her friend, while at the same time knowing she could do little else at this point to ease Celeste’s pain. “Because he knew how much it would her you to know the truth,” she offered kindly. 

She didn’t know much of Tala’s history, or his life before he came to the abbey, but she did know that his mother had abandoned the family, and that alone was reason enough, Steph thought, for Tala to want to keep the truth from Celeste - because he knew how much it hurt to discover that someone you love was rotten to the core.

There was, however, another reason Steph knew. “And because while you still believed in Balkov’s cause, you were safe. He did it to protect you.”

Slowly, Celeste lifted her chin, her eyes were full of unshed tears. “We argued,” she admitted, the statement catching Steph by surprise, which clearly must have shown on her face, because Celeste went on.

“Back home, before the Championships - he tried to tell me something was up with Boris, but I - I didn’t want to believe him … how could I?” She hiccuped, her body shaking violently, and Steph helplessly patted her head as she struggled to digest this information.  

She’d figured of course, when the Star Shooters hadn’t entered the World Championship Qualifiers that something had been amiss, but for all the emails and exchanged pineapple emojis, Celeste had given her no fathomable reason to withdraw from the tournament. Why, Steph thought dismally. Why hadn’t she probed her friend when she felt something hadn’t been right?

“Celeste,” she began, only to be cut off by her friend’s pitiful sob. “It’ll be okay - Tala’s going to be okay…”

“You don’t get it,” Celeste said, choking on the words. “The things I said to him before he left Canada were - they were just awful, and now…” she hiccuped again, letting the tears finally fall. “And now they might be the last words I ever get to say to him!”

Oh, Celeste, Steph thought, abandoning her coffee cup and swooping down on her friend, hugging her tightly while she cried.

“I wish he could hear me,” Celeste whispered. “I wish he knew …” she trailed off helplessly.

“How much you love him?” Steph supplied the words helpfully. “Celeste - he knows - he’s always known how much, but even so you should tell him.”

She pulled away so that she could look at her friend. 

“You’re going to tell him when we get through this, and we will get through this. Kenny is going to come through for us with the new beyblades, and Tyson and I - we’re going to bring Boris down once and for all - for you, for Tala, - and god knows, for Kai too, when he finally does come to his senses.”

Celeste hiccuped again pitifully at the mention of the double cross they were all still reeling from. “How?” she choked out. “How can you be so sure?”

Steph smiled, glad that she at last had a question that was easy to answer.

“Because we have something your uncle doesn’t have,” she said assuredly. “We have each other, and thanks to Tala, Bryan and Spencer we have the opportunity to expose Boris for his crimes once and for all. But I can’t do it alone - I need your help too.”

Slowly, Celeste’s tears dried up and the sobbing eased. Finally, Steph’s words were beginning to reach her, to bring back the Celeste she knew and loved. When she finally raised her head again, her eyes were steeled with determination.

“What do you need me to do?”

  **FIN**

[tamelee]

Hii, when are you uploading your next art? It's been like ages lol. Also how's your progress on manga going? And can you suggest some other artists you know, artists like you? Since you also started from 0 followers at some point and your progress on your art is also very inspiring and i guess you know many different artists. I'm searching for inspiration and looking for some Low key artists from other fandoms. I'm slowing trying to improve on my digital painting skills. Still at level 1. Who do you look up to for your inspiration? Sorry, this became a pretty big ask hehe.

Hi~ 💕

Ages? Yeah, ... a little over a month now. I know that because I keep track on it. I pretty much keep track on most things. I do this thing where I plan a few weeks ahead and it is supposed to make sure I have more time left because of the planning but it doesn't account for roadblocks such as wrist pain, technical issues with tablets etc-, mental states, stress, health declines or others. So.. I haven't uploaded anything in a while but I never stopped creating ^^! In fact, I'm learning every single day so that I can create more, "better" (subjective) and build a skill-set that will help me be able to make what I want. I felt like I was making art aimlessly, but having a goal helps. Though, by chance, since you're wondering- this week for sure!

And within that planning is of course the Manga! The process is a lot of fun, but also there is science behind Storytelling and I'm using what I know and learning during my graduation process as well in order to create it. That's why I didn't start drawing until I am completely happy with the story (...and now don't mind so much that my previous draft got lost even thought that was so painful lol). I was so ignorant about it though, thinking I could just... create a Manga. Like c'mon. I knew so much time and dedication went into it and yet I thought I could just... do it 😆 but also, it is this dedication that made me able to do most crazy things in life so why not. If I'm going to spend idk how many hours on this then it better matter to me. I don't want Naruto and Sasuke to just drown in some plot, I want them to actively pursue something they care about and struggle, have dark moments and conflicts... heh.

When I first started drawing.. surprisingly I didn't have that many inspirations. I had no clue what I was doing and so what inspired me was the little art-community around me on Instagram because our goals were similar. My goal to finish Inktober, a wish to "someday create a webtoon" and seeing artists around me upload their art was what inspired me. Then, talking about art, each other's uploads, our obsessions- it was all a lot of fun and helped me improve and so did they! Of course you don't have to go there, you can find artists at any stage of their journey anywhere but really try to find artists and art that you like because your style will grow from that and eventually become your own.

I guess a few artists really stood out to me then, but they're literal gods and nothing like me 🥹..they're; wlop, Z ed, Ruan Jia, Zeen Chin, Guweiz and Dao Tong Le. I had a splash art phase where I fangirl'd (still do) so hard over Bo Chen, Sean Tay, Alex Flores, Cheng Du (crow god), Foritis Wang, but there's also Paul Nong, Ley Bowen, Inhyuk Lee... and for storytelling art there's Kan Liu which art I love and Toni Infante and ooooh Astri Lohne's brushwork is amazing as well. Song Nan Li has a few artworks that I've stared at for days and would love to study someday. Jaz Chiang too. Krenz Cushart has a course that I want to purchase because those colors are sublime... and oh, I'm probably forgetting SO MANY right now but I could go on forever tbh. Lemme talk about artists and their art and I won't be able to stop. There have been many Instagram artists that I've followed but I'm not currently active on there until I graduate so I don't really remember but if you're looking for Twitter/SNS/Naruto specifically then you can look through my following-list or my reblog account here @re-tamelee. Nsfw-warning on Twitter (@ tam_e_lee) though. I think currently a few that inspire me regarding story/expression are helenpeanut, velinxi, Kishimoto, Ramón Nuñez, Moryo, Ryo Yambe, Rias Coast, Yusuke Matsumoto, Bengal, Hong Soonsang, Horikoshi- and still a few others... I'm not sure what you mean by 'low-key' or if this is not what you're looking for but I hope you can find some inspiration from this post and have fun looking at these amazing artists' art! ^^ Thankyou for your lovely ask, have a nice day 🌷 Happy drawing!

[tariah23]

Thoughts on JJK lately? Especially with them running through nearly every character one by one? Got inspired after seeing the hydrogen bomb (Sukuna) vs Coughing baby (Babyboyblorboman)

*looks away*

Gege……… he needs to take FOREVER OFF lmfao. I’m still enjoying the story because the characters are what’s keeping it entertaining for me but you can tell that Gege just wants to hurry up and be through with JJK, too. This is the final stretch!!! The protagonists are facing off with the big bad! It’s almost over! But at what cost………

I’ve talked about this in even greater lengths before but the quality of Gege’s pacing and story telling has been extremely noticeable over the span of the last two years of its serialization. Literally everything from the flow to the pacing and build up of major moments and plot points within the story had all been *chefs kiss* beginning from JJK 0 all the way up to the end of Shibuya. Gege was definitely feeling himself, especially after writing two of some of the best arcs that I’ve ever read in a shounen back to back? I was like

All while reading the shit, I am so SERIOUS!!! Not even glazing JJK, the arcs were just that fantastic!

Unfortunately, shortly after this amazing run, Gege had started to take hiatus after hiatus (I felt so bad… the fans were being assholes about it of course because they’re entitled and ugly, but his health was more important so I was glad that he decided to take a month long break. Now, Gege goes on breaks all of the time and I’m happy for him but at this point, I just wished that JJK became a monthly release instead because Jesus Christ, JJK used to be written SO much better than what we’re getting now. If he had more time to work on his story, I feel like both his health and story would drastically improve for sure. The fans would just have to learn how to be patient. I hate that Gege is just rushing through JJK like water out of a faucet right now. Because as a long time reader, I know that it used to be written better than this.

The stakes are always so high… (I get it since they’re fighting Sukuna after all, but man), the characters don’t have a moment to even breath, and the cast of characters are being treated like background fodder instead of the amazing characters that they are. It’s all just… “my turn!” *dies horribly* “my turn!” *dies horribly* “my turn!” *dies horribly* “my turn!” *dies horribly* “my turn-“ over and over and over again. Like, what the fuck?

It sucks. There’s little to no exposition and development involved in the story and it’s characters anymore. Thank god that most of them already had their own character development arcs already because Gege doesn’t focus on that at all anymore. Everything’s just so fast paced and erratic. Things are just “happening,” now instead of building up to these big moments and a lot of the character deaths of the major players have just felt like they were written purely for shock value and or to simply, “get them out of the picture so that Gege could move on-“ *coughs* Gojo *choking up blood*

Even the whole thing with Gojo was… it’s like, I just didn’t enjoy how it all ENDED with him passing on and not ever being able to evolve on an emotional level? Him being able to get over being “the strongest,” would’ve been such an incredible breakthrough for his character. His trauma and complex of being essentially, this deified monster instead of the human being that was, and never being able to fully connect with anyone that understood that about him. That would’ve been GREAT. He deserved it! Even the people who loved and cared about him only really saw him as this all mighty thing instead of the person who he was deep down (it wasn’t their faults… and Gojo’s never made it any easier for others to get close enough to “get,” him anyway so 😭…)

I can see JJK ending in at least 20 more chapters or so. Maybe 30. I do remember back in December where vol. 25’s cover had first been revealed, that the seiyu’s for both Gojo and Sukuna, acted out some of the future content from the manga right before their big fight and how Gege had announced that JJK would be ending this year but that guy said the same shit last year/ or back in 2022 so lmfao.

[littleshopofchaos]

I'm Gonna Love Me Again

So, I'm writing short story format to try and get ready for creative writing competitions, and I managed to write this. its about an autistic girl named Rose

I’m Gonna Love Me Again Rose

Staring down at the pages of my own handwriting, I realise that it is hard to read. I can’t remember what I wrote myself. These old diaries are from my dark days; from days I want to forget. My school days. It is hard to put you back in those shoes when you hardly fit in there in the first place - you want to expand beyond the lines of what’s good to make yourself comfortable and embrace your differences, no matter how much people may push and pull to keep you in line, to mould you into what they want you to be.

I remember those days of trying to fit in, of trying to be what they wanted me to be, but I still was never good enough… I was still me.

Staring at these papers, feeling the ink and the scrawls of what I used to say, what I used to be…is not me anymore. Its not someone who loves themselves - its someone who has turned to darkness to cope, to crave something, to feel despair and not look back as they plunge into madness and continue to drown in sorrows. Its someone who wishes that things were different back then, that someone, anyone would love me for who I am, or was, at the time.

I did some things I regret, I was a kid. I was a neurodivergent kid in a world that shames differences. I would run and cry and push away those who made fun of me, who blamed me for being the way I was, that I was faking my conditions for attention. But they never picked on other kids like me because they were seen as “authentic”, not faking.

I had dreams. Like any other kid. I wanted to write, to sing, to soar and be better than what these people were making me out to be. But they would crush my dreams, telling me that I would never be loved and would never be successful.

Time went on, I lived in my own fantasy worlds to cope - wrote mountains upon mountains of words whilst failing every exam I ever took because I don’t do well with exams, so I’d always fail. I was the failure back then. As time went on, I stopped attending school to save my life from school bullies. The Rose that wilted, they used to call me. The fragile flower. I dedicated my time to writing, constantly improving, constantly making worlds. I loved every second of it.

But when the pandemic hit, the words just dried up, as I wrote to cope and wrote to keep my sanity, watching shows and looking for inspiration in books I could read on my Kindle or from my shelf. There was this whole spiral of “What if I’m not good enough?”. Again, this. Again the thoughts, the spiralling depression… A cycle I had to break free from.

Looking at all these…memories…I realise that that is what they are - memories. Old things that I can remember but aren’t necessarily important to today, I should make myself happy, take care of myself. Know that I am loved by my family and pets and look for friends where I can find them.

I know that I can achieve what I want, if I work hard and put my mind to it. I could climb mountains, soar free like an eagle, if only I spread my wings and fly. My mother and my family support me, so that’s all I need. I need to build myself up, go where I wanna go. Be who I want to be. Do what I want to do. Nothing is stopping me.

To live, to laugh, to love. That is the point of life. Finding your way in life is just a part of the adventure and my adventure isn’t over yet; for it has only just begun. There are things you have to learn about yourself in order to love yourself and every Rose has its thorn.

I shut the notepads, resisting the urge to tear them all apart. These words that I can barely read are not important to me anymore - they’ve taught me one thing: To love myself, to embrace what I am, to do what I love and keep my head held high. I stuff the notepads back under my bed where I found them, knowing one day I should chuck them all away, but today is not that day.

I look to my desk where all my writing equipment is waiting for me - my laptop, my pads of paper, my pens. My notebooks. All of this is at my disposal - my dreams are within reach. I can write and share my stories and bring love to them, to everyone as long as I strive to be the best I can be - to have people who want to share in this world with me. I have always had this power inside of me, some days its stronger than others and some days I’m driven insane by simply trying to find the words to say.

I wouldn’t give this up for the world. I love my life, I love my family, my pets, my writing abilities, my books, reading… there’s so much that goes into a passion that you’re never really alone in walking down this path you’ve chosen for yourself. Just don’t give up, give yourself a chance and keep working on it, whilst taking time for yourself to love what you do - to do what you want to do and pace yourself.

And you know what? I’m gonna love me again.

That’s the most important thing. To love me again, is to love who I am, no matter what others make me out to be. There is only one of me and I’m perfect the way I am; perfectly me. Perfectly sane. Perfectly insane on the other hand. Creatively balanced. Creatively me. Free. Forever me. A Rose by any other name.