#it kind of ruins the effect I was going for

[thecolorblockcurator]

I’ve been thinking about a few things lately

And it seems like we’re at the precipice of another dark age. Dark ages are typically when education, reading, writing, scientific progress are lost

And by precipice I mean, it could go either way. Historically the rise of fascism has lead to incredible powerful art movements - as well as aggressive censorship

Now I don’t think it’s so dramatic that everything will be lost, collapse of a civilization -only ruins will be left kind of thing. We’re in a completely different age with more visibility and information than ever before

But I do think this time it’s a shift from reading and art to content that has been happening over the years & with generative AI it’s only pushing it further.

What got me thinking about it was- I just read about a new publishing company that is only selling AI generated books & plans to publish and flood the market with 8000 new ai generated books next year.

There is power in art. Art is transformative, political, it teaches us to be curious, to think creatively, to see things from different perspectives. Making art of any kind helps us from everything to processing trauma, to expressing our voice, to creating communities.

Content passes the time, it grabs our attention. It fills the room with noise. And it keeps people distracted. It keeps people in a passive yet heightened state.

And the second thing I’ve been thinking about is feudalism. The economic / political system that was around in the last dark age in Europe.

Now what I studied in my history program was more of the rise of industrialization & colonialism so I’m not as strong with my background in feudalism and I want to fully understand it before I completely form this idea

But, I’ve seen others write about this too and I think they’re onto something- it seems like we’ve breached late stage capitalism to some new type of feudalism. And I think that has some validity

Whether it’s related to the tech industry or corporate real estate. Or some combination of the two. I can see how this could be a type of feudalism. The effects are the same in terms the distribution of power, wealth, labor, ownership, as well as the cultural factors of approved art what art is allowed to be made and visible or in our case, consumed.

In regards to art- I can see how content, noise, trends are more valuable to a new type of feudalism than art. And how they both lend themselves to create a new type of dark age

So what does that mean? What should we do?

Create art. Write stories, poetry, zines, paintings, collages. Wrestle with ideas. Learn about new things that are confusing and difficult to understand at first. Carve out time for silence, so you can actually think without 3 different types of media all playing at once.

I think we have to actively fight this. And trust me I get sucked into instagram and tumblr more than I want to be.

And for me I know what I’m fighting is- it’s gotten to this point where it feels like by not being engaged in content I’m not being productive. That sitting in silence to let myself wrestle with ideas for a bit is somehow wasting time. - Which of course it’s not.

[alllgator-blood]

idk if (or when) you're going to get this ask, but... god. i just want to say i love how you interpret the bishops. kallamar especially. in "the unpayable debt that i owe" i feel like the scene right before kallamar breaks down, when he's looking into the mirror... it so accurately captures the sort of thoughts i've had before breaking down some times and it's just so genuinely comforting in a weird way to see it happen to a character that i love so much. i've struggled with those sort of half-genuine half-mocking thoughts and just. man. i don't know what to say except i absolutely love that comic and it's ruined my brain a little bit in the best way possible

I've reworded this a million times and I guess what I wanna say is asks like this mean the world to me; I actually tend to tone down my cotl angst comics from the kind of stuff I put in my old OC zines. I was kinda worried it'd lose the intended effect, but I suppose not! I feel you when you say it's comforting in a weird way to see stuff you struggle with reflected in a character you love- honestly comics are how I've processed trauma or grief for as long as I've been able to hold a pencil so all of it comes from a place of love rather than just wanting to see these characters suffer needlessly. I appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you thought of the comic, I'm sorry you know those feelings all too well so I'm just glad I can provide something vaguely cathartic to see yourself in :')

I swore to myself I'd stop drawing kall for a little bit cause I've been looking at him too long, but for this ask I have procured this image of him chilling with a blanket and a hot beverage after the events of that comic! He is unbothered, moisturized, in his lane and flourishing despite everything:

[night-the-starfish]

Fish out of water, a paper craft.

[greyedian]

MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.

[j-esbian]

god the Woke Content Game List is stupid for so many reasons, but it’s also just CLEARLY subjective lol

FNV lets you have gay sex with several characters but it’s only listed as yellow, even though that’s a dealbreaker for other games. original Baldur’s Gate (extended edition) is red but BG2 is yellow, because there’s gay romances in both but only the first one has a trans character. what the fuck is “pro-DEI messaging” because I legitimately don’t know and that’s listed in a lot of notes. are you really so upset about a single line in passing from a Skyrim NPC that you needed to include that. these games aren’t even listed in alphabetical order.

[weather-phenomenon]

weaving machines sewing machines knitting machines embroidery machines all replaced the people who did these things by hand as a profession. sure there have been many benefits of this like clothes becoming more affordable and now we have mountains of never worn or worn once clothes creating their own land system ecosystem but whatever i digress. personally i think these are very creative fields they are art no they haven't been replaced by artificial intelligence directly (at least not fully at the moment) but they have been replaced by automatisation destroying this opportunity and field of creativity for so many persons at the time and to come. now we just see these things as 'normal' they're completely taken for granted as actual skills and creativity but it's ok no one cares so why care if automatisation through ai and other tools replace other art(ists)?

[unopenablebox]

unfortunately i am covetously watching the eater video that's just a tour of zabars

[anotherpapercut]

people acting like there isn't still very much an active stigma against cannibas and cannibas users is going to be my joker origin story

when i go to the doctor they still put cannibas use under the tab "substance abuse". not even just substance use. it is fully assumed that people who use cannabis, even as a prescription medication, are abusing it. just because you're friends with a couple of dumbass stoners doesn't mean that we've abandoned the idea as a culture that weed is a bad and scary and dangerous and highly addictive drug that will ruin your life if you use it once

[arolesbianism]

Y'know Im not even gonna pretend to get ppl complaining abt the new skill trees because it makes Wilson less unique or whatever. Like there's plenty to complain abt with the skill trees, but you have to understand that the actual abilities Wilson gets from them are still unique, and still quite powerful in some cases. He rly isn't losing anything he hasn't lost by getting a skill tree in the first place, and in particular he could have a lot of use for certain speedruns and at worst is situational, which in itself means he's gained a unique role as a character. He doesn't need another new rework now or anything, the only rework Id want is a rework of the skill trees in general, Wilson is genuinely going to be just fine don't worry

[kleefkruid]

Guess who just went on a round trip to the city center to spend a fortune on a few posca markers only to realise at home I got the wrong size even though I checked??

[leyiorr]

i can't stop looking at her t-t-t-t, FACE!

mdni.

satoru gojo is doomed.

why is he doomed, you ask? well, put bluntly, you, his girlfriend of five months, are driving him absolutely crazy.

crazy is an understatement, actually. insane, mad, mental, unhinged, deranged, bonkers - whatever you want to call it. he's holding on by a thread; the thinly woven string known as sanity growing ever weaker as the days roll by and turn into weeks.

of course, he's only blaming you. you hadn't actually done anything wrong.

you're the first relationship satoru's had in his life, and he'd be damned if some inappropriate thoughts ruin his chances with the love of his life. he'd never been happier - dating you gave him the kind of happiness he thought only existed in movies; the kind of giddiness of a child in a candy store.

he was devoted to you in every way, shape and form - you are everything he's dreamed of and more.

more.

that's right, you were more.

recently, you were the devil's temptation personified.

surprisingly, even after twenty-odd years of being one of the most attractive guys around, and having women throw themselves at him like he's some kind of greek deity, satoru is a virgin. i'll repeat that, he is a virgin. a fact that only suguru knows. a fact that he's neglected to tell his girlfriend.

he may have a flirtatious personality and the ability to charm ninety percent of the human race with one of his thousand-kilowatt smiles, but in truth, he had never dated anyone. ever. let alone got his dick in a pussy.

so when he starts wanting to go further, he's not sure how to bring it up without sounding like a horndog.

it all started when you wore a sleek black dress to one of your dates. it clung to your figure, fabric wrapping shamelessly around your every curve and tickling your midthigh at its end. and if that wasn't bad enough, it had a plunging neckline, giving the world - satoru specifically - an eyeful of the assets god gifted you with. your boobs were practically spilling out of your dress, the light catching your cleavage as you held his arm. he could feel himself salivating like some sort of perv. how was he supposed to focus with aphrodite's personal creation hanging off his arm?

his eyes began to drift to the flesh of your chest more than he'd like to admit. all sorts of r-rated scenarios ran through his head and he dared to entertain every. single. one. he could do so much with them, tease them, spit on them, pinch them, suck on them, put his dick between them-

“satoru?”

his gaze snaps back to your face at record speed. you notice how he's chewing his bottom lip, flush creeping onto his cheekbones and the tips of his ears. his hands are clammy; there's suddenly too little oxygen in his room.

“did you listen to anything i said?” your arms fold beneath your bosom and satoru almost implodes.

what do you expect him to do? the necklace around your neck has his initial on it, and it hovers over your tits almost mockingly. if it snapped, the letter would fall right between the valley of your breasts-

“satoru!”

he's choking on his saliva, apologizing profusely as he encourages you to continue your story - though he hasn't heard shit over the blood pumping loudly in his ears.

it's a battle no, a war between his rationality and his desires and he doesn't know which is winning. his rationality wins when he's around you - he just sucks in a breath and thugs it out, no matter how much his dick shouts at him. but in private, he's letting the desires win as his fists himself to the thought of you, your lips, your ass; your boobs.

the first time he sees you in a bikini he has to take a breather before he can get into a game of beach volleyball with you and the group.

(and even then he was struggling. every time you jumped for the ball the only thing he was looking at was your tits.)

he should be neutered. effective immediately.

it drags out for so long that you finally notice, and force him to talk to you about why he's avoiding you, and if you'd done anything wrong. but all you get is:

“baby, i'm so sorry- you're so pretty and i can't help myself. i didn't know how to bring up that i wanted to take our relationship to the next step, you mean the world to me and i'd hate to make you uncomfortable-” he trips and stumbles over his words-

“...is that it?”

and his eyes bug out of his head as he stares at you. weeks, months of agony over this and all you have to say is 'is that it'?

he doesn't even have chance to respond; to process your words before you're popping the top button of your blouse.

yeah, satoru gojo is doomed.

[themaevethcometh]

i'm watching the flash (2023) (against my will, my dad put it on and i refuse to be kicked out of the living room) and they ruined my boy.

[paganinpurple]

AO3 Etiquette -UPDATED

Based on both decent and not so decent replies, I have made some changes to my original post below.

It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:

As well as likes, kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished it, you liked it - so kudos.

If you really liked it, you should try to comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don't care, we just love comments.

No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it (so use your notes to say if you want some constructive feedback). Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it's okay. No, posting it online is not an open invitation for that. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity and just want to share. Don't ruin that for them. I've seen so many authors just stop writing coz they can't handle the negative emotions the critism brings, and it's only meant to be a fun thing shared for free (pointing out tagging errors is not included in this).

Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It's tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.

There is no algorithm, it's an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.

For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don't care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.

The tag exception is if you don't want to tag a million things or spoil your story, you can rate it as "chose not to use warnings," and maybe tag the bare minimum.

Don't censor tags. How can someone exclude a tag if the word isn't typed out correctly? There are no content bans for terms so don't censor them.

If the tags are mostly content/trigger warnings, especially if they are things considered very fucked up or graphic, you might want to use "dead dove - do not eat" to ensure people know that you're not messing around with tags and what they get is exactly what you've warned them about.

Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLATONIC, like friendship or family.

Nothing is banned. This is an rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.

People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they "complete" a story. So it's considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.

Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite or an exchange youve written for going public). It's an archive, not social media. No one cares what's the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.

Instead of deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - consider making it anonymous or orphaning it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to your name anymore. If you still want to delete it, fair enough.

It's come to my attention that metaworks ARE allowed on AO3, which is something I wasn't aware of. So if you do post an essay or theory, please tag it as such so others can choose to search for it or exclude it. Art is also allowed.

The only reason this archive works is because NON ONE PROFITS. Do not link to your ko-fi or patreon or mention monetary gain in any way or you violate the terms and risk having your account removed. If anyone does link, it leaves the archive open to people claiming it's for profit and having the whole thing removed.

I KNOW there's plenty more I missed but I'm trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.

I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don't berate.

[fading-event-608]

I TURN ON MY PHONE IN THE MORNING.

SEVERED LIMBS RED LINES ON THEM, CHILDREN EYES HALF-LIDDED UNMOVING STARING AT THE SKY ABOVE, ASLEEP, BLOOD ON THEIR FACES STILL FRESH.

I MAKE MY COFFEE.

HUSHED WHISPERS BARELY HEARD YET DOCUMENTED. AMONG THEM SCREAMS AND GUNFIRE, BURNING SMELLS AND RHYTHM OF BOMBS.

I LOG IN ON TUMBLR DOT COM.

SOLDIERS IN PALE GREEN HELMETS BULLETPROOF VESTS STANDING OVER LAYING MEN. THEIR POSTURE RELAXED THEIR TEETH BARED CONVERSATION GOING THEIR GUNS POINTED TO THE GROUND BELOW, TO PEOPLE FROZEN IN FEAR, ALL ACROSS THE GREY RUINS PAINTED WITH BLOOD GREY SKIES PAINTED WITH SMOKE.

I REFRESH THE GOFUNDME PAGE - LAST DONATION 4 HOURS AGO, 3 DONATIONS IN 14 HOURS. I DOCUMENT THE CHANGE AND TRY TO MAKE AN UPDATE.

NOTIFICATION INTERRUPTS THE FLOW. LINES OF PEOPLE PLEADING FOR BREAD NO END IN SIGHT. MOST WILL GO WITH NOTHING, TRYING TO COME UP WITH EXPLANATIONS FOR THIS FOR THEIR CHILDREN - EXCUSES THEY CANNOT BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES ANYMORE.

IS THIS NORMAL? SHOULD IT BE? SURELY YOU HAVE SEEN A FUNDRAISER POST OR TWO AT THIS POINT. YET I STILL REPEAT ALL THE THINGS I REPEATED FOR TWO MONTHS:

FALASTIN'S FAMILY CONSISTS OF 24 MEMBERS, ALL OF THEM STUCK IN GAZA AND SUFFERING FROM THE ONGOING GENOCIDE.

THE FUNDS FROM THE FUNDRAISER ARE THEIR ONLY HOPE FOR SURVIVAL. THEY NEED FOOD, WATER, MEDICINE, CLOTHES.

OF COURSE THEY ALSO NEED FUNDS TO EVACUATE BUT THE WAY CAMPAIGN IS MOVING THEY'D BE LUCKY TO GET GROCERIES TOMORROW. THEY'D BE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE.

FALASTIN IS RIPPING HER HEART OUT AND HOLDING IT FOR YOU TO OBSERVE EVERY DAY. SHE DOES THAT DESPITE CREEPS AND ZIONISTS HARASSING HER BECAUSE IF SHE LOGS OFF AND DOESN'T WRITE ANYMORE EVERYONE HERE WILL FORGET HER AND HER SUFFERING. A POST HAS A SHELF LIFE OF 2 DAYS, 3 IF KIND PEOPLE OF TUMBLR ARE GENEROUS WITH THEIR ATTENTION.

SO IF YOU SEE THIS: BOOST EACH TIME, AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE DONATE IF YOU CAN. AND CHECK THE RATES SO YOU DON'T EMBARRASS YOURSELF WITH A 40 CENTS DONATION:

10 USD = 106 SEK

25 USD = 264 SEK

50 USD = 529 SEK

100 USD = 1,058 SEK

DONATE ON GOFUNDME

CAN'T DONATE TO GOFUNDME? NO PROBLEM, HERE'S A PAYPAL LINK IN USD:

DONATE ON PAYPAL

WANT SOME EXTRA INCENTIVES? NO PROBLEM, HERE'S A RAFFLE FOR A HAND-MADE PALESTINIAN THOB: [LINK]

YES FALASTIN'S CAMPAIGN WAS VETTED, SEVERAL TIMES:

#282 IN VETTED GAZA EVACUATION FUNDRAISER LIST [HERE], #957 IN BUTTERFLY EFFECT PROJECT [HERE]

YOU CAN LOOK AT HER ACCOUNT [HERE]

[wild-jackalope]

summary :: the times things went wrong during sex! Featuring my favs; Gojo, Choso, Yuji, Megumi and Toge.

warning :: sex, awkward sex (it happens), safe sex!

note :: all characters are of age!

Satoru (the sound)

The two of you had been going for some time, your third round of the night. Satoru had done a particularly good job in making you utterly wet, which was now the cause of your chest threatening to burst with laughter.

Whenever Satoru buried himself deep in you, it caused an odd kind of squelching noise. You placed your hand over your mouth, giggling against it.

Satoru had come to a gradual halt, noticing your puffs weren’t the moaning kind. “You’re laughing?” He asked in a tone that conveyed he was judging your juvenile sense of humour.

“I’m sorry, it’s just funny! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the mood. Please continue.” It’d only taken a moment of silence before you laughed again, now joined by Satoru.

“Jeez, you’re stupid.”

Choso (too long)

It had been around 20 minutes, Choso was still panting against your neck with his dick buried deep inside you, rutting against your insides.

You’d already reached your climax 10 minutes ago, so now his dick felt like it was giving you an inside gut punch.

“Choso, you close?” You huffed, clawing at his back.

“Almost there, my love.”

You whined, staring up at the ceiling and debating how much longer you could keep up. You’d already tried clenching around him, but hadn’t seemed to help and making out only made him slow down to appreciate your kisses.

You tapped on his shoulder, sighing gratefully when he slowed to a stop.

“Can we take a break? I’m feeling a little raw.”

His eyes seemed to widen with the realisation and he slipped out of you. “I’m so sorry for not noticing.”

“No no, it’s fine baby just give me a little bit and I’ll be okay.”

Yuji (no protection)

You’d been making out for at least an hour, with Yuji’s body pushing you into his mattress and his hands cupping your rounded curves.

He’d barely even broken from your lips to pull out his desk drawer and feel around for a condom. However his hand failed to brush against any wrappers.

“Fuck, I forgot to buy my condoms.”

“Are you serious?”

The two of you were well horny by now, each reeling from the effects of arousal.

Yuji eyed you carefully, face flushed and expression needy. You leaned back into the bed defensively.

“We’re not doing it raw.” You stated. He exhaled sharply.

“I know, I know. Damn.”

Megumi (came quickly)

You straddled him, sliding carefully onto his cock before relaxing at his base. This was a position neither of you had tried before, both your excitement was palpable from the way his dick twitched and how your pussy gushed.

He breathed sharply, fingers digging into your thighs holding you still. He needed to pace himself, otherwise this would be over too soon.

Playfully, you clenched your walls around him.

“Shit.”

His hips bucked into you, humping out his orgasm. You felt warm cum pool into the condom, causing you to shiver. “Already?” You asked.

He only responded by palming his face, covering his embarrassment from you.

“You must really like me topping you.” You grinned, kissing the hand that covered his face.

“Shut up.”

Toge (poor communication)

“You want…”

“Bonito flakes.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, face red and utterly flustered. “Crap. This is really hard. I can’t tell what you want me to do.”

He wanted you to relax and not overthink things.

“I don’t know where I can touch you. Do you even want me to touch you? Do you even want to have sex?” You asked, fretting that you had gotten the wrong idea.

Toge rolled his eyes. One would think him making out with you until your lips were red raw and touching every sensitive part of your body was a good indicator that yes, he did want to have sex. “Salmon.”

His answer only further worried you. So instead of attempting to talk, Toge took your hand and placed it on his crotch, letting you feel how hard he’d gotten.

You flushed.

“Right, I think I understand now..”

[himbosandhardwear]

It's a stupid fucking scheme, and he never would've gone along with it if he was sober, but she really didn't give him much time to contemplate it, she just shoved him into the pantry and yelled for Eddie to come into the kitchen.

Now he's got his head pressed against the slats while Rob asks Eddie if he thinks Steve is cute. Like they're in the fifth grade.

“Uhh,” Eddie drawls, clearly confused and put on the spot.

“C'mon,” she coaxes, “you can tell me, gay to lesbian solidarity.”

That's terrible, using that to weasel the information out of him.

“I mean…sure, I guess he's alright,” Eddie admits. “He's not really my type though.”

Oh.

Well…that's…fine.

“Seriously?” Rob asks like she doesn't believe him. “You don't think he's hot?”

“I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers, but, yeah, seriously. Not my thing. He's too…I don't know, high maintenance or something. I like my guys a little more, like, dingy.”

Steve nods to himself in understanding. He should've seen that coming but he hadn't. It's sobering.

Robin isn't finished arguing her case, the beautiful idiot. “Steve's dingy!” She yells, making Eddie laugh. “He is! He's plenty dingy! And he has other fine qualities! Like, uh, loyalty! And being helpful!”

“Are you trying to set me up with your painfully straight best friend or a golden retriever?”

“Steve's not-”

“Okay!” Steve shouts, bursting out of the pantry, yes he understands the irony, with both hands waving. “This was fun but let's wrap it up.”

Eddie stares at him, wide-eyed, but it quickly melts into anger. “What the fuck, Buckley? What kind of weird, pointless ambush is this?”

“It wasn't pointless, you fucking troglodyte. If you were paying attention-”

“Rob.” Steve didn't mean for his voice to do that but it has the intended effect. She clamps her mouth shut and pouts. “Sorry,” he says to both of them. To Eddie, “Seriously, it was a stupid idea. We're both drunk and being stupid, just forget this happened.”

Unfortunately, it doesn't look as though Eddie is going to forget any time soon. In fact, it's more like he's studying them both for clues, the wheels turning despite the whiskey and weed gumming them up.

Steve's about to turn tail and run when the lightbulb goes off. Eddie doesn't look like he believes the conclusion he's come to but he's figured it out nonetheless. “Wait. No. Seriously? No way.”

His eyeballs are aching. He pushes against them, causing starbursts behind the eyelids. “Can we please not do this?” He begs.

Eddie sputters. “If this is me finding out you're queer, Steve Harrington, then yes, we most certainly are!” He looks at Robin but she's stonewalling him in solidarity.

The fact that neither of them has said anything to the contrary is damning enough. Steve might as well have ‘bisexual’ tattooed across his forehead.

“Holy shit.” Eddie snatches Robin by the wrist, she tries to wrestle her way out but he's jangling her about like a rag doll. “Holy shit! You were trying to set us up! Holy shit!”

“Let go, asshole! You ruined it, remember?”

He does let her go, so he can stare at Steve in horror. “No! Fuck! Steve, I was bullshitting! I was lying my ass off, I swear!” He tries to round the corner of the island but Steve moves to keep it between them, unsure of this sudden development. Eddie stops when it's clear Steve isn't reciprocating.

They stare at each other until Robin breaks the awkward silence. “Prove it.”

Eddie shakes off the cobwebs. “Huh? I mean, how? I wasn't exactly doodling Mr Edward Harrington into my journals.”

She crosses her arms. “Then I guess we're done here.”

Steve doesn't point out that she's not actually in charge of this situation because it seems to motivate Eddie into action. He gives them the ‘one moment’ finger and then dashes outside.

“You believe him?” She mumbles.

“I don't know. At this point I'd probably settle for him looking to turn me into a bedpost notch.”

“Have some self-respect.”

“Nah.”

Eddie comes back, dragging Jeff by the arm.

“Tell him!” He shouts, finger pointed at Steve.

“Tell him what?”

“The thing that shall not be spoken.”

Jeff raises one eyebrow. “How am I supposed to-”

“Oh my god, just tell him.”

“No.”

Eddie blanches. “No? What do you mean, no?”

“You made me swear.”

“So?! I'm unswearing you! This is important! I need you to unfuck this situation, pronto! You can give him all the gory details, I don't give a fuck, just tell him!”

A gleam sparkles in Jeff's eye. “Every gory detail?”

Now Eddie, correctly wary, hesitates, glancing at Steve nervously. “Well, maybe not all-”

Jeff interrupts Eddie, turning fully toward Steve with, “Eddie is bananas in love with you. Probably has been since school, but it's gotten so much worse since this spring. I'd say seventy five percent of the songs he's written are about you. He's also got a fully fleshed out fantasy life involving you, including, but not limited to, five adopted Vietnamese kids, two cats and a dog.” He turns back to Eddie. “Can I go back outside now? Those hotdogs aren't going to eat themselves.”

Eddie, eyes closed, waves him away.

Before he's fully out of the kitchen, he turns and says, “Oh, also he has a VHS copy of one of your swim meets. Bought it off of some AV kid for sixty bucks.”

Steve's stomach, already roiling with excited nerves, erupts in butterflies.

Eddie does not notice this, head buried under crossed arms on the island.

“I think we've swung too far in the other direction,” Rob points out, oblivious to Steve's excitement. When she finally does notice, it's met with rolled eyes. “Of course you're into that. Absolute freaks, the both of you. You know what? Good. Take each other off the market. My job here is done.”

She hops off the stool and leaves them alone.

Eddie cautiously pokes his head up, sees Steve smiling at him and jolts up straight like a prairie dog. “You believe me?”

He wants to toy with him for a minute, a touch of revenge for the dismissal he made earlier. “What swim meet was it?” He asks, like a test.

Without missing a beat, Eddie answers, “March of ‘85. You beat some kid from West Jefferson by four seconds.”

Steve preens. Eddie isn't bullshitting, he really did beat that kid from West Jeff. Only someone who gave a shit to pay attention would know that off hand. The whiskey makes another appearance in his bloodstream, giving him the courage to lean over the counter, into Eddie's space.

“So…you like me?”

Eddie has this incredibly endearing habit of hiding behind his hair when he’s nervous, it takes Steve out at the knees every time he sees it. “I'm gonna be really pissed off if this is some convoluted prank but…yeah, man, I fucking like you. Romantically. In case that was in question.”

“Mmm,” Steve agrees. “What are our kids' names?”

Eddie closes his eyes against Steve's smug stare. “I hate Jeff so much.”

“I don't. I'll thank him at our wedding. Maybe we name one of the kids after him.”

When Eddie peeks at him, one eyed, Steve does his best to convey his amusement and fondness both.

His body goes lax, finally, at seeing Steve take all it seriously. “Okay, so I like the idea of all of them keeping their Vietnamese names, except one who we name James.”

“After Hetfield?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes. Please.”

Some time later, after making out in the pantry for a while, Steve vetoes James, but only because he doesn't want the poor kid to grow up with a complex.

“We’ll call the dog Jimmy.”

“Cool.”